#monty & pris.

[imagine-darksiders]

You ask Freddy Fazbear for a hug and he's delighted. He never tires of hugs and would be more than happy to give you one, he's been told he's a very good hugger, you know!

You ask Montgomery Gator for a hug and all of his motors sputter to a grinding halt. Caught off guard, he glances around as if you're surely talking to one of the other animatronics, those without formidable claws and a mouthful of fangs. He's cautiously hopeful, trying not to move too quickly in his excitement as he pries his arms apart for you to slip between them. Is this what Freddy meant when he told Monty there's nothing quite like a hug?

[stxrrwritess]

who you belong to.

( art not mine )

monty gator x reader smut

MINORS DNI !!

warnings : afab!reader, jealous sex, rough sex, slight degradation ( use of whore, slut ), size difference (?), oral ( fem receiving ), poorly written smut LOL

word count : 807

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

As the mechanic, your job basically consisted of being friendly with all of the glamrocks. You’d figured it was easier to get to know them rather than just barge in and start working on their wires. Over time, you’d developed an .. interesting relationship with none other than Montgomery Gator, the most aggressive of the four animatronics. On this particular day, you had to tend to Freddy a little more than the others, mainly because of a glitch he had during a performance which resulted in a freak out of the children and quite a few adults.

After you had finished up in Freddy’s green room, you said goodbye and left, only to find Monty leaning on the wall, arms crossed and a not-so pleasant expression on his face. “Oh, hey Monty. You okay? Vanessa told me you didn’t need a check up today so I-,” before you could finish, you were yanked rather harshly by the forearm towards the Gator’s green room. “H-Hey! Monty, what’s going on?” You asked, skeptical on why he was acting so strange. You two had been fucking, sure. But you’d never have thought he’d be so annoyed that you were just doing your job. “Shut it, whore.” He grumbled under his breath, opening the door to his room and throwing you onto his mangled up couch. “Too fuckin’ busy to come in an’ even say ‘hello’? Too caught up with Fazbear?” He asked, as he moved to rip your work shirt off, causing your tits to pop out. “No, Monty, He had a glitch today. You saw it.” You protested, but you couldn’t deny that seeing this jealous side of him was.. oddly hot.

“I’m gonna remind ya who ya belong to.” He spoke, discarding of your pants and your panties, revealing your wet snatch to him. His large hands traveled over your body, stopping to grope your boobs and a small whine escaped your lips. After a few moments, he stopped and pried your legs open. Leaning down, he ran a wet stripe up your heat, eliciting a low moan from you. He teased your clit, before you hit his forearm that was holding your thigh gently. “Stop teasing, Montgomery!” You complained, before he finally stuck his strangely long tongue into you, eating you out like he hadn’t eaten in days. You threw your head back in ecstasy, your hand gripping his red mohawk. “M-Monty, Fuck-“ You gasped as soft moans and whines emitted from you. When he sensed you were getting close to the edge, he pulled away. You opened your mouth to give out to him, but he interrupted you. “You ain’t cummin’ unless it’s on my fuckin’ cock.” He growled, picking you up harshly and moving to his vanity, bending you over, your tits flush against the table. You glanced up at yourself, your forehead was glistened with sweat and your cheeks flushed.

Monty wasted no time in discarding his pants, as he pushed the tip of his dick past your gummy walls. No matter how many times you two fucked, his size always surprised you. “T-Too big..” You murmured under your breath, looking up at him in the mirror with pleading eyes. “Take it, slut.” He grunted and with one sharp thrust, he bottomed out in you. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you inhaled sharply, feeling his dick fill you up so nicely. He didn’t give you any time to adjust, as he started thrusting into you at an inhuman pace, yanking your hair back to make you look at yourself in the mirror. “Tell me, who’s fuckin’ ya? Who’s makin’ ya feel this good, huh?” He gave a rougher thrust at the end of his sentence to emphasize his point. “Y-You, you are, fuck!” You rasped, “I got a name, use it. Tell me who ya belong to.” He groaned, feeling you clench around him like a vice. “Monty, you, please just - don’t fucking stop!” You begged, your hands gripping onto his vanity as you felt your knees begin to buckle. “Hnngh- I’m, fuck, Y/N. I’m gettin’ close..” He removed his hand from your hair and placed both of his hands on your hips, holding onto them with bruising force. It didn’t take long for you to cum around him, considering he had edged you before this. Your orgasm hit you like a wave, your vision going blurry for a few seconds. Monty followed a few moments later, painting your insides white with a grunt. He pulled out, and moved to scoop you up into his arms as he sat on the couch. “Uh.. Shit. Sorry if I went too hard on ya.. It’s jus’, ya know how I get ‘bout Fazbear.” He chuckled sheepishly, and you rolled your eyes playfully.

You should get him jealous more often, if this is the outcome.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

a/n

hope you enjoyed x3 honestly idk how to write smut that well, i just let my hands do the typing while i zone out for a solid 20 minutes. if there’s anything i can improve on do let me know ! ( i’m def super repetitive in the way that i write but oh well )

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 6

Hello! We are back with this lovely story.

Things are starting settle for Steve as he visits his kids and gets news from his cousin, Monty. He also learns he has allies in unexpected places.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

~

It was still early enough in the day that Monty wouldn’t be at work so he figured he’d grab a bite to eat and then do some shopping. He might even stop by the Hendersons if he had time. He wanted to see the little pipsqueak again.

As much as Steve was loving the super rich and decadent food of the hotel all he wanted in that moment was a good chili burger from Benny’s.

When he got there the diner was mostly empty, the lunch rush having just ended, so he slid into his favorite booth and waited for the waitress to notice him. And of course because Alice was as sharp intelligence wise as she was sharp tongued, she was over at his table with a cup and pot of coffee.

“Steve Harrington,” she said with a wicked gleam her eye. “I thought you’d done and gone a runner.”

Steve raised his hand and tilted it back and forth. “Ehh...close enough I guess.”

Alice barked out a laugh, shaking her head as she handed him the menu. And he handed it right back.

“I would like a strawberry milk shake, Benny’s Big Chili Burger, and side order of cheese fries.” He grinned at her as she looked at him in shock. “Please?”

She jotted it all down, shaking her head again and then shoved the pad back in her apron. “That will be coming right up.” She turned on her heel and walked right back to the kitchen.

Steve added sugar and creamer to his coffee and took a sip. It wasn’t as good as the hotels, but it was warm and friendly and tasted a little like home.

Alice refilled his coffee twice before his food came out with a stack of napkins. As she placed his food in front of him, she whispered, “Are you safe?”

Steve looked up at her in awe. She looked over her shoulder at Benny who was watching them nervously. Suddenly his insides warmed fast than an entire pot of coffee ever could.

He nodded and gave Benny a thumbs up and hoped from an outsider’s point of view, he was giving the chef indication that he was happy with the food. The chef relaxed and so did Alice.

Steve happily, sloppily ate his meal in peace. He got a couple of side-eyes from some of the other patrons, but he steadfastly ignored them in favor of the delicious food. After he was done he took out a twenty and dropped it down on the table.

Alice deserved something extra for being so nice. He waved goodbye and got back into his car. He checked his watch and saw that he had plenty of time before The Hideout opened so he drove over to the Hendersons.

He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw Claudia’s car out front. Because even if Dustin wasn’t home, she would be and be able to pass along the message he had visited. He got out of the car but before he even raised his hand to knock the door swung open and he suddenly had an armful of rowdy teenager.

“Steve!” Dustin cried, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend.

Steve let out a sigh and knot he didn’t know he was holding in his chest loosened and then vanished. Then there was a flurry of other bodies as he was hit with three more hugs. Then Max showed up at the door and pushed her way through the bodies of the four boys to cling to Steve’s waist.

Claudia came to the door and raised an eyebrow at him. “I think they’re happy to see you.”

He huffed out a laugh. He held them all as close as possible. Tears began to run down his face as he squeezed them for as long and as tightly as he could. Finally his arms began to hurt.

“I missed you guys so much,” he whispered into Dustin’s curly hair.

Claudia gently pried each of them off Steve and pushed them into the house with murmured assurances that Steve wasn’t going anywhere and that he would probably like to come inside now.

Finally it was just Max and Dustin, then just Max. When Claudia tried to dislodge her, she buried her head deeper into Steve’s chest.

“Don’t leave me like that ever again,” she whispered fiercely. “Or I will find you and kick your ass. Do you hear me?”

“I promise,” he said solemnly and meant it. Things weren’t all peaches and cream for the other kids, but at least they all had someone willing to care at least a little. Susan Hargrove tried, but her life was a series of bad decisions followed by worse consequences, mainly for Max.

Max finally let go of his waist, but she grabbed his hand, and led him into the house. Steve smiled after hearing from his friends that they wouldn’t take him, after Tommy had done a runner, his parents threw him away like an old soiled rag he had forgotten that he had people who loved him.

Alice and Benny at the diner, his kids.

Once he entered the living room, he was bombarded with questions. He couldn’t even hear what they were saying, it was so loud.

He put his fingers to his lips and whistled long and loud. “Hey, dumbasses! One at a time. Jeez, I’d ask who raised ya, but I know that and they didn’t raise you to behave this way.”

There was some grumbling but they all quieted down and Steve answered their questions the best he could without say who it was who had rescued him.

“You’re trying to tell us,” Mike scoffed, “that some rich money bags swooped in like a white knight and swept you off your feet?”

Yeah, okay, Steve conceded to himself, that did sound hard to believe. He pulled out the wallet. He had taken most of the money had it put in the hotel safe until he got back and talked to the front desk about his room safe, but there was still a lot in there. Minus the twenty to Alice, of course.

He opened it up and pulled out his new shiny, black card and tossed it on the coffee table. Mike picked it up and looked at it. He turned it around to see Steve’s name on the back but literally nothing else was on it.

He threw back on the table and sat back. “So you’ve a black card, so what.”

Steve burst out laughing. Laughing until he was doubled over with it. He threw the rest of the wallet on the table when he finally could breathe again. But Mike refused to pick it up, he just glared at him.

So Lucas picked it up and his eyebrows shot up. “Holy shit, Steve. Did you sell your kidney?”

Mike looked over and saw the wallet was brimming with cash. His head shot up at Steve in shock. “What does a black card mean?”

Steve smiled and crossed his arms over his chest, smug as anything. “Black means no limit.”

“No limit?” Dustin asked. “How can a card have no limit? Even Ma’s card has a limit.”

“It means I can buy an island nation on it and they wouldn’t even bat an eyelash.” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t. It’s not my money, but I could.”

Max let go of his hand and took the wallet from Lucas. He looked up at her as she counted the money. “There’s enough in here to pay the rent on my mom’s trailer for six months.”

Steve nodded. “And that’s not even all of it. I left some back at where I’m staying.”

“Which is where?” Will asked. “Dustin won’t tell us.” He looked over at Dustin who stuck his tongue at him.

“I can’t tell you that,” Steve said shaking his head. “I want to, and I will. Just not yet. I need make sure my parents are out of town and don’t have people looking for me before I trust people with that knowledge.”

“So why tell Dustin then?” Mike huffed.

And there it was. It wasn’t that Mike didn’t believe him, it was that he was upset that Dustin was given privileged information.

“I told Mrs. Henderson and Dustin was there,” he defended. “Look. When I’m sure my dad won’t ruin your parents’ lives for you guys helping me, then you’ll know, same as him.” He rolled his eyes. “Plus it was more I gave Dustin a phone number and didn’t realize that they fucking announced who they were regardless of the number called.”

Will snapped his fingers. “A hotel. You’re staying in a hotel!”

Steve threw his head back and covered his face with his hands and groaned his frustration. He had forgotten he was dealing with literal geniuses.

“Oh!” Mike said. “I get it now. You thought they would only say the name of the hotel when you called the front desk but not your room. But you were wrong and that’s how Dustin found out.”

Steve pursed his lips and he nodded, trying not to scream.

“So it wasn’t that you think he’s special,” Max said, “you’re just stupid.”

“Maxine Catherine Maxwell!” Claudia shrieked from the doorway. “We do not call people stupid in this house!”

Max’s jaw dropped at being full named. Steve was even impressed. He didn’t even know that Max had a middle to use.

“Sorry, Steve,” she muttered putting the wallet back on the table and crossing her arms.

Claudia nodded to the wallet and the card. “You best put those away, love. We don’t want you to lose anything now that you’re safe.”

He did as he was told. He then stayed around and answered their questions the best he could. Then when it was time for them to go home for dinner, he offered to take any of them home, but they all declined. Even Max, which surprised him, but he figured she was still stung by being full named by Dustin’s mom.

So he gave her a big hug before she left so she knew he wasn’t mad at her. She hugged him back fiercely and then pushed him away with a weak, “Loser.”

Steve huffed a small laugh and let her go.

He grabbed a sandwich off Claudia and then dashed off. He made a stop at Melvand’s and grabbed his hair products. He used the card for that so that Eddie could get a laugh at that purchase.

Then he pulled up to The Hideout just as it was opening and sure enough, Monty was at the door.

Steve got out of his Bimmer and walked up to the door. It was a Tuesday so there wasn’t anyone lined up.

Monty breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s good to see you, kid, but I can’t let you in.”

Steve held up his hands. “And I’m not asking you to. I’m just here to make sure you didn’t get into trouble and maybe some news if you have it.”

Monty relaxed and threw his arm around Steve’s shoulders, walking off to the side so they could share a smoke and Monty could still keep an eye on the door.

They were about halfway through their cigarettes when Monty finally spoke up.

“You didn’t get me in trouble,” he said, blowing out smoke. “I just don’t want my boss to put two and two together and come up with you being the Eddie Munson pet. You’re dad has been breathing down the necks of the local police. Not to find you, oh no. To run you out of town with a fucking lynch mob.”

Steve winced, flicking the ash off his cigarette with his thumb nail. “I’m not surprised. That’s why I’m laying low. Plus the place has good security, they will deny I’ve ever existed and since they don’t have anything on me, they can’t come back with a warrant.”

“What about your ID?” Monty asked after chewing on his lip for a moment or two.

“It’s on my list of things to get rid of,” Steve assured him. “I just want to do it safely. Cutting it up and throwing it away will only make things annoying for the cops to put back together.”

Monty nodded. “As long as you’re being smart about this, that takes a huge weight off my shoulders.”

“Do you think anyone there that night would remember me?” Steve asked, nervously.

“Don’t know,” Monty said with a shrug. “You did stand out pretty good that night. But whether they recognized you as Clint Harrington’s son? I doubt it and my boss hates cops so ten to one if they come sniffing around that night’s security tapes are gonna do a runner.”

Now it was Steve’s turn to feel relieved. “That’s good to know.”

“How’s Aunt Sophie doing?” Steve asked, grinding his finished cigarette under his shoe. “I heard she had a cancer scare last month?”

Monty scoffed. “Is that what Auntie Maureen said?” He rolled his eyes. “Scare? That implies that she was making it up. Bitch. Stage four. They think they’ve caught in enough time, but only time will tell.”

Steve winced again. “Mom has always been jealous of Aunt Sophie. I’m sorry, man. I hope they get it taken care off.”

“Thanks.”

The conversation turned to various cousins and other relatives. Then by some miracle someone came up to the door and Monty had to go.

Steve watched him trot back to the door and apologize to the patron and he shook his head. He drove back to the hotel and worried about his car. He didn’t know if his dad would think to look here, but he needed a reliable way to get around.

He wanted to skip dinner because he was so tired but he knew he needed to eat. So he ordered room service and called Eddie. It went to voicemail like the thought it would, but he told him all about his day. Then he ate and got ready for bed. He slowly drifted off to gentle silence of the suite around him.

~

Part 7

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @sticknpokelightningbolt

9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec

10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006 @sadisticaltarts

[get-rammed]

RAM RAM I SAW YOUR COMMUNITY POST ON YOUTUBE AND I SAW THE DOODLES OF SHATTERED ROXY AND CHICA AND I JUST WANNA SAY EVEN AS JUST LITTLE DOODLES YOUR DESIGNS ARE SO GOOD OMG

And I'd like to humbly request more info on the shattered animatronics in your au!

Shattered Roxy is spooked backward into some construction stuff that was blocked off by barbed wire. Razor wire would do too much damage if a kid walked into it. In her panic, she gets tangled, unable to move. Gregory sees his chance for her specialized eyes, and just. Pries them out while she's unable to stop him. After a short time she manages to get out, but can't properly feel/obviously can't see to get the barbed wire off/out of her hair. She moves a little slower and cautiously, but will still leap at noises she believes to be Gregory

Chica loses a fight to Diego. I'm not gonna say how they encounter one another, or why. But she gets messed up pretty bad. Voice box ripped out and such. Gregory just nabs it off the ground. She's incredibly disoriented, and barely a threat. Actively avoids the atrium. Just shuffles around silently. She will try to attack if someone is right next to her, but won't chase

Monty still gets hit by the hurricane bucket. The catwalks are barely strong enough to hold him, let alone him and the buckets weight. His touch sensors basically exploded, so he's more or less in a blind rage and agony once he's shattered. Grunting and moaning in pain as he crawls after anything that moves. Mauling security bots to the best of his ability. For my AU, Gregory takes the whole hand assembly, so Monty just has wrists, no claws and a broken jaw. This mf is having a bad day

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Dead Boy Detectives Victor AU: Amnesia Fic (Finally Ascending the Staircase)

Hey besties! Sorry about the war crimes over the last few days and the war crimes I'm still planning. As an apology, here's Chapter 6, ft. Charles/Crystal confrontation/mutual breakdown/soothing, Crystal confronting Thomas King, Monty's recovery arc, Edwin finally actually asking questions about what happened from outside sources, the continuation of the Orpheus/Eurydice/1001 nights subplot, and a surprise or two!

Charles didn’t ask Monty for any details about his time before them. Those are Monty’s bodies to bury. They always have been.

It’s a lesson Charles first learned with Crystal and Edwin. He doesn’t need the details. He doesn’t need to listen to the propos, to the forced outing of Crystal and Edwin and Monty’s pain.

Charles is honestly not very surprised that they're all a bit shit at communicating. Why would you ever want to offer up the damage that has been done to you when the worst of your pain is constantly being pried open for millions to see, in an attempt to convince people to rise up against the Capitol that tore you to pieces. After all, if even the most privileged among them can be chewed up and spit out by the Capitol, why can’t they?

But the thing is that to be a Victor is not a privileged life. It never has been. Sure, they technically had the money not to starve and to buy as many clothes as they wanted, but that was never, ever worth what they had to do to get there and then what they were forced to do once they were in that position.

Charles is not the only one among his family who has a hard time offering up his past, much less his present, outside of propos.

@deadboy-edwin @icecreambrownies @anonymousbooknerd-universe @ashildrs

@tragedy-machine @just-existing-as-you-do-blog @orpheusetude @mj-irvine-selby

@pappelsiin @itsbitmxdinhere @rexrevri @sweet-like-h0ney-lavender @saffirez

@the-ipre @sunnylemonss @days-light @agentearthling @helltechnicality

@tiredghostby @sethlost @catboy-cabin @secretlyafiveheadeddragon @vyther15

@anything-thats-rock-and-roll @queen-of-hobgobblers @every-moment-a-different-sound

@nix-nihili @holvivum

[redcharacterbracket]

Red Character Bracket

Minor Bracket

Hello, and welcome to the Red Character Bracket: Minor Bracket. This is how it’s gonna work- 64 contestants. Double elimination. Only one will make it out victorious. Now, for our contestants:

Apple White (Ever After High)

Hua Cheng (Heaven Official’s Blessing)

707/Saeyoung Choi (Mystic Messenger)

Matsuno Osomatsu (Osomatsu-san)

Riddle Rosehearts (Twisted Wonderland)

Opera (Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun)

Ikuyo Kita (Bocchi the Rock!)

Cromdo Face (Bugsnax)

Courtney (Dead End: Paranormal Park)

Char Aznable (Mobile Suit Gundam)

Alucard (Hellsing)

Anna Akagi (Kiratto Pri☆Chan)

Taiga Kagami (Kuroko's Basketball)

Tokiwa Anzai (Mewkledreamy)

Fuuta Kajiyama (MILGRAM)

Strawberry Shortcake (Strawberry Shortcake)

Ringo Akai/Mew Ringo (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Reimu Hakurei (Touhou Project)

Jibanyan (Yo-Kai Watch)

Shotaro Kaneda (Akira)

Jake Long (American Dragon: Jake Long)

Akito Takagi (BAKUMAN。)

Ruby (Battle for Dream Island)

Red Blood Cell/AE3803 (Cells at Work!)

Blast (Club Penguin)

Rosemaster (Cucumber Quest)

Honey Kisaragi/Cutie Honey (Cutie Honey)

Lilith (Darkstalkers)

Lina (DotA)

Red (Everhood)

Jack of Blades (Fable)

Wilt (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends)

Major Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)

Nobuo Akagi/AkibaRed (Hikonin Sentai Akibaranger)

Ib (Ib)

Padparadscha (Land of the Lustrous)

Sally Yumeno (Sally the Witch)

ProtoMan.EXE/Blues.EXE (Mega Man Battle Network)

Dianite (Mianite)

Flain (Mixels)

The Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python's Flying Circus)

Orko (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)

Camille Severin (Muted)

Tom Servo (Mystery Science Theater 3000)

Pop Harukaze (Ojamajo Doremi)

Scarlett (Papa Louie)

Pucca (Pucca)

Ranma Saotome (Ranma 1/2)

Benson Dunwoody (Regular Show)

Mira Hanayashiki (Sekko Boys)

Corporal Giroro (Sgt. Frog)

Kate (Shadows House)

Crow (SHOW BY ROCK!!)

Stereo Monovici (Space Goofs)

King Kazma (Summer Wars)

Lloyd Irving (Tales of Symphonia)

James the Red Engine (Thomas & Friends)

Captain Red Rackham (The Adventures of Tintin)

Clover Ewing (Totally Spies!)

Gold Ship (Uma Musume: Pretty Derby)

Rika Kawai (Wonder Egg Priority)

Pyra (Xenoblade Chronicles)

Yona (Yona of the Dawn)

Yugiri (Zombie Land Saga)

Polls will be posted every day at 12am EST, starting on April 2, 2023. The Major Bracket will be revealed at a later date. Good luck to all of our contestants ❤️

[christian-dubuis-santini]

Attention ! Woke in progress ! Afin de lutter plus efficacement contre l’homophobie et la LGBTphobie, tout en offrant aux enfants la plus grande liberté possible et notamment la possibilité de changer de sexe dès le plus jeune âge sans avoir à en avertir leurs parents, force est d’admettre que c’est une bien belle chose que des cours d'éducation sexuelle soient désormais obligatoires dès la petite section de maternelle.

Surtout si ces leçons adoptent l'approche décrite dans la fameuse scène du "Sens de la vie" des Monty Python" où un enseignant introduit ses élèves à la façon (ancienne, démodée…) d’honorer une femme (ce qui à l’heure du wokisme triomphant apparaît comme un parti pris ultra-réducteur, pré-moderne et irrémédiablement "has been"…) Néanmoins dans le film, les élèves embarrassés évitent le regard du professeur et balbutient des réponses, tandis que l'enseignant les réprimande de ne pas faire leur devoir à la maison. Avec l'aide de sa femme, il entreprend alors de démontrer la pénétration du pénis dans le vagin. Un des écoliers jette un coup d'oeil furtif par la fenêtre, et l'enseignant lui demande aussitôt avec une ironie marquée: «Seriez-vous assez aimable pour nous dire ce qu’il y a de si attrayant, là, dans la cour ?»

L’éducation sexuelle a pour mission de gâcher le plaisir de la rencontre sexuelle pour des générations…

[cosmas-the-explorer]

Shrek the Third is Underrated

Unlike many people especially internet critics, I don't think Shrek the Third is this horrible abomination on the level of Shyamalan's Avatar.

I think it has a lot of going for it.

Like Shrek's relationship with Arthur. It was great because Shrek was able to impart his own life experiences of being seen as lesser onto Artie. It's a good development for Shrek who once belived he could only be an ugly monster now believes in himself.

And it also ties into his own worries of fatherhood, although that part might have been underdeveloped.

Prince Charming I actually thought was insteresting in that he persuaded the villians that they were the underdogs and that they should take hold of their destiny. I think the ending could have better with Charming considering whether Artie has a point and either embracing or rejecting it, instead of just ironically being the pure villian out of it.

I do agree this was not the best Shrek movie though. It didn't have that grandeur of the pervious and it felt kind of like a tv movie, I dont know what it was exactly.

I think Artie was underdeveloped. We could have seen him try to have to be taught by Shrek Donkey and Puss how to lead. And show that he did have some hidden talent after all that just had to be pried from positive reinforcement. Also... I'd like to see more references to Arthurian stories even if just Monty Python!

Personally I think they focused on those dumb princesses with Fiona too much and it took away from the genuinely heartfelt Artie arc. In fact, Fiona being a relative perhaps should have also went to see her relative. It could have given some development for her too, altough that would probably require some changes to the story.

I could say more in this rough unedited defense but I'll just say this. Shrek the Third isn't the worst. I would say it's not even bad. Maybe a little mid but I think there is a great movie underneath. Frankly I think it's better than Shrek Forever After which I am not as attached to and have my own personal gripes with it.

And for God's sake, we couldn't have at least invited King Arthur to Shreks kids birthday?! I dont care if Timberlake had a concert going on, they should've gotten another actor!

Anyways that's all folks. This is the Cosmic Explorer signing out. (Heh I like that name)

[best-sim-tournament]

Here’s the list of characters for the competition so far:

Agnes Crumplebottom

Ajay Loner

Alex Moyer

Alexander Goth

Angela Pleasant

Ash Harjo

Bella Goth

Betty Newbie

Bob Newbie

Bob Pancakes

Bonehilda

Brandi Broke

Brent Hecking

Brant Hecking

Buck Grunt

Burglar

Bus Driver

Caleb Vatore

Captain Whitaker

Cassandra Goth

Catarina Lynx

Chip the Dancer

Chloe Curious

Circe Beaker

Daniel Pleasant

Dina Caliente

Don Lothario

Eliza Pancakes

Eric Lewis

Erin Beaker

Erwin Pries

Father Winter

Felix Psyded

Flower Bunny

General Buzz Grunt

Genie

Geoffrey Landgraab

Goopy Gilscarbo

Grim Reaper

Guidry

Hermia Capp

Hermit

Hula Zombies

Jenny Smith

J Huntington III

Jill Smith

Johnny Smith

Johnny Zest

Judith Ward

Juliette Capp

Katrina Caliente

Kaylynn Langarak

Kent Capp

Kevin Puri

Knox Greenburg

Lazlo Curious

Liberty Lee

Lilith Pleasant

Lilith Vatore

Loki Beaker

Lola Curious

Malcolm Landgraab

MarySue Pleasant

Mayor Whiskers

Mei Prescott

Mele Kahananui

Molly Prescott

Morgyn Ember

Mortimer Goth

Mystery Man

Nancy Landgraab

Nervous Subject

Nina Caliente

Octavia Moon

Olive Specter

Ophelia Nigmos

Orange Bailey Moon

Pascal Curious

Patchy the Scarecrow

Pollination tech 7

Pollination tech 9

Puck Summerdream

Rahmi Watson

Ripp Grunt

Romeo Monty

Servo

Sidney Price

Social Bunny

Stella Terrano

Summer Holiday

Tank Grunt

Temperance

Therapist/Sim Shrink

Thomas Watson

Thorne Bailey

Tragic Clown

Travis Scott

Unsavoury Charlatan

Vidcund Curious

Yamachan

I tried to include as many characters as I can think of! I’m not very familiar with the earlier games, so I might have missed a few from there. Pls let me know if there’s any you’d like to add!!!

I haven’t decided when voting has started, but I need to find a bracket template and sort some other things out first.

[abimee]

Hildegarde would later go on to find out that the girl is named Monty, and that the reason she's not well known in her neighborhood is she's always been terrified of talking to others, believing that she has some sort of issue that makes her come off as strange, and her family belittles her for her for this ''strangeness'', so it must exist

She specifically begins to watch Hildegarde and follow him around because she believes his mother might have the answers to the thing that makes her act this way, and give her closure to something that's made her feel alone and confused all of her life. She turns out to be seventeen years old, only a year older than Hildegarde, but claims that she felt like she's both been around forever yet still feels like a fragile child.

Hildegarde tries to ask her what she wants from his mother, but she says she cant say it to anybody else but Ruyan, because Hildegarde ''won't get it'' and just ''think she's crazy''. When hildegarde continues to press her, she runs away, and he doesnt see her for a long time.

Eventually it's Rayon, Hildegarde's younger sister, who meets her again, and when she asks Rayon if she can speak with her mother, Rayon complies and fetches Ruyan to the front yard. Hildegarde watches from his bedroom on the second story, and Rayon runs inside to find him and watch with him.

They try to eavesdrop in on the conversation, but as Monty begins to explain her actions and what has lead to this meeting, Ruyan takes her farther away from the house to a small fountain nearby to make sure the running water drowns them out, and the two kids are left trying to decipher from Rayon's ability to read lips and Hildegarde's attempt at using his decently sensitive hearing.

They don't catch any of it though, and watch as Monty seemingly begins to break down in front of Ruyan as she continues to speak. The confrontation goes on for at least 20 minutes, and at one point Ruyan goes down on her knees to look Monty in the eyes better, because she's a very small hyur teen. It ends when Monty suddenly hugs Ruyan, and hildegarde and rayon are caught spying by their father, who takes them away from the window and brings them downstairs to wait.

Ruyan eventually comes home and Monty is nowhere to be seen, and when Hildegarde pries to what she needed to ask Ruyan specifically, Ruyan replies that it's about something that Hildegarde does not need to know, and that Ruyan does not wish to reveal without the girl's permission, which he does not have.

They dont see Monty for a good year, and hildegarde continues to pry about what it is, but Ruyan continues not to budge, even saying that she has not even told her husband what she knows, because it's a secret, and if Hildegarde wants to know he will have to ask Monty one day.

Monty does eventually re-appear a year later, when Hildegarde is 16-17 and she is 18. She appears one day at the front steps of their house, and waits for Hildegarde to notice she's there, and when he does he comes running out to meet her. She seems less angry and abrasive, and more.... shy? But she has changed her outfit and had gotten taller, and the first thing she says is that she had never truly introduced herself to Hildegarde before, and that she wants to be given the chance to have a ''first meeting'' again. Hildegarde complies, and Monty re-introduces herself by revealing her secret, which is that

[ma-come-mai]

nuntereggae più

Abbasso e alè (nun te reggae più)

Abbasso e alè (nun te reggae più)

Abbasso e alè con le canzoni

Senza fatti e soluzioni

La castità (nun te reggae più)

La verginità (nun te reggae più)

La sposa in bianco, il maschio forte

I ministri puliti, i buffoni di corte

Ladri di polli

Super pensioni (nun te reggae più)

Ladri di stato e stupratori

Il grasso ventre dei commendatori

Diete politicizzate

Evasori legalizzati (nun te reggae più)

Auto blu

Sangue blu

Cieli blu

Amore blu

Rock and blues (nun te reggae più)

Eya alalà (nun te reggae più)

Pci psi (nun te reggae più)

Dc dc (nun te reggae più)

Pci psi pli pri

Dc dc dc dc

Cazzaniga (nun te reggae più)

Avvocato Agnelli, Umberto Agnelli

Susanna Agnelli, Monti Pirelli

Dribbla Causio che passa a Tardelli

Musiello, Antognoni, Zaccarelli (nun te reggae più)

Gianni Brera (nun te reggae più)

Bearzot (nun te reggae più)

Monzon, Panatta, Rivera, D'Ambrosio

Lauda Thoeni, Maurizio Costanzo, Mike Bongiorno

Villaggio, Raffa, Guccini

Onorevole eccellenza, cavaliere senatore

Nobildonna, eminenza, monsignore

Vossia, cherie, mon amour

Nun te reggae più

Immunità parlamentare (nun te reggae più)

Abbasso e alè

Il numero 5 sta in panchina

S'è alzato male stamattina

Mi sia 'onsentito dire (nun te reggae più)

Il nostro è un partito serio (certo)

Disponibile al confronto (d'accordo)

Nella misura in cui

Alternativo

Aliena ogni compromesso

Ahi lo stress

Freud e il sess'

È tutto un cess'

Ci sarà la ress'

Se quest'estate andremo al mare

Solo i soldi e tanto amore

E vivremo nel terrore che ci rubino l'argenteria

È più prosa che poesia

Dove sei tu?

Non m'ami più?

Dove sei tu?

Io voglio tu

Soltanto tu, dove sei tu?

Nun te reggae più

Ue paisà (nun te reggae più)

Il bricolage (nun te reggae più)

Il quindicidiciotto

Il prosciutto cotto

Il quarantotto

Il sessantotto

Le pitrentotto

Sulla spiaggia di capocotta

(Cartier Cardin Gucci)

Portobello e illusioni

Lotteria a trecento milioni

Mentre il popolo si gratta

A dama c'è chi fa la patta

A settemezzo c'ho la matta

Mentre vedo tanta gente

Che non c'ha l'acqua corrente

E non c'ha niente

Ma chi me sente

Ma chi me sente

E allora amore mio ti amo

Che bella sei

Vali per sei

Ci giurerei

Ma è meglio lei

Che bella sei

Che bella lei

Ci giurerei

Sei meglio tu

Che bella sei

Che bella sei

Nun te reggae più

Che bella lei

Vale per sei

Ci giurerei

Sei meglio tu

Che bella sei

Nun te reggae più

Compositori: Salvatore Gaetano

[imagine-darksiders]

Perhaps we could see a lil sneak peek of chapter 19 of On the Ropes? Need some more Protective Monty juice 😫

Oh go on, just a little bit. As a treat <3

On the Ropes, chapter 19 sneak peak

-----

On the opposite side of the gator's room, his vanity sits in wait, and under the dim light of his one, surviving bulb that shines down from overhead, his optics catch a glimpse of something small and dainty sitting atop the desk, familiar as a blazing signal fire.

The figurine... it's the precious figurine you gave him.

His first gift...

With a jolt and a heavy clunk, Monty's memory banks finally finish dragging themselves online.

In a rush, the night's events come flooding back to him with the strength and speed of a tidal wave, crashing over his head and threatening to knock his entire system offline.

The endo...

Lady...!

Monty's broken jaw creaks open as he makes a painful attempt at calling your name, but when nothing more than a few sputtering clicks leave his speakers, he grits his remaining teeth in frustration and plants his hands on the ground, shoving himself up onto unsteady feet.

'Where are you...? Where's the kid!?'

Once upright, he staggers like a man inebriated across the room in the direction of his vanity, barely making it to his goal before his stabilisers give a groan of warning, shuddering until they inexplicably fail, and with an almighty 'clang,' the gator collapses under his own weight and goes sprawling out onto the floor, smacking his teeth against the carpet. Rather helpfully, another alert catches his attention.

'Battery remaining: 2%. Recommend: Find nearest charge station.'

For a time, the gator merely lays there, a wretched pile of plastic and misery, until he pries his eyelids apart again and issues out a gentle crackle of static - a poor substitute for your name, to be sure.

There's nothing built into an animatronic that can allow them to cry. Their optics don't sting with the coming onslaught of tears, and their throats can't tighten, because there are no muscles to do so. And yet, the Glamrocks possess an algorithm that's designed to learn. To evolve with time and engagement. Montgomery Gator can't produce tears, no, but he's seen plenty of humans cry before, in moments of great distress or sorrow.

'Maybe,' he thinks to himself, turning his gaze up to peer at the lip of the desk, 'Maybe this is what it feels like... to wanna cry..."

[rarougrougrou]

Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Game of the year?

If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

-On reste sur les choses habituelles, ma préférée reste et restera toujours Billie Eilish hahaha, et en groupe que j’ai commencé à écouter cette année, y’a pas vraiment de gros artiste qui s’est démarqué, à part le fait que je sois complètement devenu obsédé par Olivier Deriviere, même si je connaissais ses compositions depuis un moment

-A plague tale Requiem, une tuerie, un jeu horriblement triste mais terriblement quali 👌 et les musiques seigneur les musiques bon dieu, plus le fait que ce soit un jeu fait par des français dont la majorité sont provençaux, en plus de se passer en provence, y’a eu un alignement des astres pour que ça me plaise

-« ✨coupe les pooooooonts avant qu’il ne soit trop taaaard✨ »

-y’en a plein, mais je vous présente

Avram

Avram, mon oc A Series of Unfortunate Events. Avram a été trouvé tout petit par Jacquelyn, qui l’a pris sous son aile et l’a éduqué en le faisant bourlinguer entre beaucoup de membres de VFD, car il faut tout un village pour élever un enfant. Avram est très proche de Jacquelyn donc, mais aussi des Snicket, mais aussi de Monty ou de Larry, your waiter. Avram est malentendant, et se fera sans vergogne passer pour non verbal uniquement capable de parler en BSL s’il estime que vous l’emmerdez et que vous ne méritez absolument pas qu’il fasse un effort pour vous parler de vive voix. Avram est quelqu’un d’impulsif et têtu, si bien qu’il a été envoyé de force à Prufrock Prep pour lui éviter de trop se mettre en danger par rapport à l’enquête sur les Beaudelaire. Spoiler alert: ça n’a absolument pas marché, car Avram n’écoute personne, étant donné qu’il les entend mal (elle était facile celle là), surtout qu’il finit par obtenir dans son dos l’aide d’un certain potit camarade avec qui il a le meilleur nom de ship de tous les temps 👀

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Funny idea: Lord Night recounting his favorite memories to the Lord’s Meeting, and just goes into detail about how Lord Infero physically and psychologically tortured TF Moon to death while looking like some eldritch horror, while Infero just sits smugly on the background.

“And then he pried out one of Moon’s eyes with Monty’s severed finger, while making him stare into what was left of Sun’s cold dead face the whole time! :D”

It's the most animated they've ever seen him, as he's normally very calm and somewhat stoic. It would be cute to see him showing such typical Lunar like excitement, if it weren't for the fact that he's showing this happiness while talking about someone being tortured. Meanwhile Lord Infero is sitting back smugly in the background, happy that the show was enjoyable.

[bresilenfrancais]

N'était pas le bienvenu

Un jour, un groupe d'« amis » m'a demandé d'aller à une soirée pizza. Je ne le savais pas, mais j'ai fini innocemment par tomber dans un de ces pièges sociaux répandus partout.

En arrivant à la pizzeria, ces mêmes personnes qui ont pris la peine de m'inviter ont tout simplement agi de manière totalement bizarre. En tant que personne un peu normale, j'imaginais que, comme dans tout événement social, les gens socialiseraient. Mais ce n’est pas comme ça que ça s’est passé.

Pendant mon séjour à la pizzeria, comme d'habitude, j'ai entamé une conversation avec quelqu'un, mais il ne m'a tout simplement pas répondu, ne m'a pas compris ou peut-être n'a pas voulu me comprendre. Sans comprendre ce qui se passait, mais toujours avec beaucoup d'enthousiasme et de bonne humeur, j'ai entamé une conversation avec une deuxième personne, qui m'a également ignoré. C'était comme si j'étais un fantôme invisible.

J'avoue qu'au début, il m'a fallu du temps pour comprendre ce qui se passait, car, en tant que personne polie et aimant respecter les autres, je n'avais jamais été froidement accueillie par un groupe social tout entier, ni vu cela arriver à quelqu'un d'autre. C’était une scène qui ressemblait davantage à un sketch absurde des Monty Python, mais sans aucun humour ni humour. La seule chose liée à l'humour dans cette situation a à voir avec l'humour noir, car après cet événement, en commentant une personne noire présente, elle a fait un sourire moqueur et a déclaré que "personne ne m'a donné de morale ce jour-là".

Soit ces gens me punissaient pour quelque chose que j'avais fait dans le passé, soit ils me trouvaient tellement insupportable qu'ils ne voulaient pas me parler. Quoi qu’il en soit, alors pourquoi ont-ils pris la peine de m’inviter en premier lieu ? Cet embarras d'être traité pire qu'un chien par des personnes auxquelles je tenais auparavant m'a forcé à tirer des conclusions ingrates.

Il était parfaitement clair que je ne représentais rien pour eux. Que je pensais que le traitement qui m'était infligé était mérité ou non, je n'ai trouvé à l'époque aucune justification pour qu'ils m'aient fait cela, mais aujourd'hui je le peux.

Lorsqu’une personne vous manque de respect, vous avez deux options : exiger le respect ou refuser qu’on vous manque de respect. Lorsque vous exigez le respect, vous entrez dans un territoire dangereux, où il n'y a pas grand-chose à gagner, car vous entrez dans une négociation dans laquelle vous, en tant que personne instruite, êtes prêt à respecter quelqu'un qui a déjà démontré qu'il ne vous respecte pas, ce qui peut évoluent rapidement vers une discussion où il y a beaucoup à perdre.

Par conséquent, de manière rationnelle, il est souvent nécessaire d’affronter les situations offensantes avec cynisme et avec un prétendu naturel et d’éviter les conflits. Mais cela ne veut pas dire que refuser le manque de respect signifie continuer à s’y exposer. Évidemment, j'ai compris que cet événement était mon enterrement social pour ces gens. Si vous refusez d’interagir avec une personne, c’est qu’elle est déjà morte pour vous. Par conséquent, je n'avais pas d'autre choix que de leur faire la même chose, non pas par vengeance, puisque cela ne m'importe pas, mais par instinct de conservation.

Des années plus tard, j'ai rencontré une personne de ce groupe, elle m'a approché. Naturellement, j’ai exprimé le même mépris qu’elle avait auparavant envers moi, l’ignorant simplement et j’ai continué mon chemin comme si de rien n’était. Des semaines plus tard, cette même personne, indignée, me coince en pleine rue et me demande pourquoi je ne lui parlais pas. J'aurais pu essayer d'expliquer quelque chose, mais nos mots doivent être réservés à ceux qui peuvent et veulent comprendre

[thatcherson]

                 ind. pri. sel. 20+ only knighted by monty, 30+ he/him EST.  AUGUST  2024 [ ♞ ]