#moody blues lyric challenge

[deity-prompts]

March Writing Challenge 2023 theme: songs you’ve (probably) never heard before

Bechdel Test (Isabel Pless)

Nice Docs, Baby! (Blue Foster)

Sixty Seconds (Bershy)

Battle Cries (The Amazing Devil)

Meet You Up Above (Deep Pirate Committee)

Good Dreams (Grimson)

The Three Ravens (Andy Niedermeier)

Devil (Moon Walker)

…baby one more time (The Marías)

Mother Scotland (Lady M)

Cauldron Type H (Thomas Hatcher)

Could’ve Been (Tom O’Donovan)

In Autumn (Greywind)

Nameless (Nussy Andrews)

HAUNTED HOUSE (SNAKE POOL)

Your Surgeon Is Human, Too (Machinery of The Human Heart)

Serial Killer (Human Zoo)

sweet hangman (elliotly)

A Ship That Shared Your Name (Burn The Ballroom)

Give Up! (Philip Labes)

Can’t Let Go (Caught A Ghost)

If I See A Road (Blake Rouse)

My Heart’s Always Yours (Arkells)

All The Pretty Girls (fun.)

Cheese (Jack Stauber’s Micropop)

meet me in the pale moonlight (marble fade)

Night Flight (Frank Moody)

Mostly (Vian Izak, Juniper Vale)

Oranges (Lawrence)

All Ways (Elliot Park)

Valentine’s Day (Mal Blum)

Also see:

March Writing Challenge 2022

March Writing Challenge 2021

Playlist Writing Challenge

Prompts Based On Song Lyrics

Writing Challenge Masterlist

Prompts Masterlist

[entireoranges-creativity]

To Begin Again

Title: To Begin Again Fandom: Single Parents Ship: Will x Angie (sorta, not really) Doug x Poppy (mentioned) For: Moody Blues Lyric Challenge (#131 Something inside of me is burning - My Song) Note: Cross posted to AO3 Disclaimer: I don't own don't sue

"I need a favor." Will smirks and shakes his head every so slightly; he and Angie been watching the DVR at his place for just fifteen minutes before he had to pause the program. It wasn't as if he didn't adore Angie more then anything, but he had been waiting over a week to watch this and had somehow managed to avoid all spoilers floating around until they both had room in their schedules to enjoy together.

"Sure. What is it?" On hindsight Will knew he may have better suited to ask what before semi-agreeing to do it. Next to him Angie starts to squirm, pulling at the lose thread in the fabric. He really needed to buy a new couch, he needed an entire new living set. He had this set since moving here and now it had been...

"Actually it's more so I need something." Angie spoke knocking him back into the present.

"Angie what is it? Wait I'm not loaning you my van."

"Geez Will that happened one time!"

"And I still haven't gotten the smell or stains out."

"I told you it wasn't my fault the boxes leaked. However you can stop worrying I don't want to borrow your stupid van."

"It's not stupid." Will mumbles as a reflect defensive reaction. He knew he'd get shit the moment he pulled down the street with it. Did he really need seating for eight, when it was just him and Sophie? No, not really but he sure as hell was the first person called for group trips and excursions. Still he didn't realize nearly four years later it would still be standard fodder to make fun of Will with.

"Actually you know what? Never mind forget it. I'll ask later." She leans across him towards the remote, he pulls out of her reach.

"I'm sorry for my little temper tantrum. Please Angie what is it?" The last few weeks she had been a bit distant from him, like he was only experiencing a fraction of the Angie he knew and loved. He attempted a few times to discover what was happening, asking her directly; denial of course, asking Graham; whom just shrugged and went back to studying.

"Sperm." Her voice is soft, almost said under her breath.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me,"

"I'm not entirely sure I did."

"Sperm, Will. I want your sperm." He had heard her correctly. A thousand thoughts, emotions, come rushing through him like a tidal wave, so overwhelming he leaps to his feet and starts pacing.

"My my my my spppperm?' He stutters out. Angie nods having pulled at the thread so hard it was now in her hand. 'Why?" She shrugs, it was then he noticed the sadness mixed with hurt in her eyes. He instantly returns to the couch putting a hand on her shoulder, she half-heartily pulls away.

"Never mind. It was stupid. I'm too old to begin again with a baby."

"You're not too old! Angie I had no idea you were even considering having another kid." For the moment he was going to keep the request and his role out of the discussion.

"Yeah...I mean I don't know. It's past my mind time to time the past few years. But it's gotten really bad the last two years."

"Two years? Really?" Angie nods.

"But I kept telling myself it was stupid. Plus I could never keep a guy around long enough to even approach the subject. Now with Graham going off to school next year.' She sighs. 'The truth is Will I made a lot of mistakes with Graham our first few years. I was young, unprepared for motherhood. I'm older now maybe too old....'

"I already told you that you're not."

"Anyways I just want to do it again. Do it right this time,"

"Angie there is no doing it right this time, because that indicates you did something wrong with Graham and nothing could be further from the truth."

"I know." The tone of her voice tells him she really didn't know.

"I'm sure Kyla didn't really help either?"

"That's another thing I didn't want my friends to think I was copying them by having a baby too. But yeah that's been a factor."

"Angie I really wish you had told me how you were feeling sooner. Two years is a long time to keep something like to yourself."

"Seriously though Will this is stupid. Forget I mentioned it. If my baby fevers flares up I can just ask Doug and Poppy if I can baby sit. And that way I get all the fun and none of the mess,"

"Ange?" He had let a few moments of silence pass before he spoke again.

"Yeah?"

"I miss it too."

"Excuse me?"

"I miss having a baby, a little human to mold and help grow. Sophie hasn't needed me in a long time. And for a few years I pretended she did because I couldn't bear to let go. But having another?"

"I'd be fully responsible. I mean if I was asking because like I said this was a stupid idea."

"That won't work with me and I suspect you already know that."

"Your an amazing father Will. Seriously. And yeah I think that maybe if I got to give this another go, with a man who deserved the honor and had shown he was fit for the job. I couldn't imagine anyone else but you Will."

"Thank you." Softly said in fear he'd have his voice break.

"You're welcome. Will? I'm not gonna lie; I don't know what to do. A part of me understands this is foolish, I should be celebrating a soon to be empty extra bedroom and not shopping until three in the morning for baby cribs. Yet there is this pull and desire in me I can't let go of. But Will?"

"Yeah?"

"I only want to do this with you. Not a random hook up, or Derek, or...."

"Wait Derek?! You considered Derek?!"

"The thought did pass briefly. I mean we did make a pretty good looking kid after all. But only briefly. I promise." Angie knew Derek and everything to do with him was a taboo and completely off limits topic. Will had never liked the man, the dislike turned to straight hate after he left Graham abandoned at a hotel in Canada because he had forgot he was responsible for the then twelve year old that summer.

"Good."

"As I was saying. If I did this, as in I seriously looked into how it would work and the cost. I mean my insurance may not even cover something like IVF....but I'd only if it's yours."

" I need some time to think about this."

"Oh of course. Should I go?" She starts to stand up.

"What are you crazy? If I have wait one more freaking day to watch this damn show heads will roll!"

"Ok ok ok don't burst a blood vessel there! What are you waiting for? Turn it back on!"

***

[negans-lucille-tblr]

N-L-Threenager Blogiversary Writing Challenge

I can’t believe this blog - that I set up with 0 intentions of ever actually using - is now 3 years old. Where has the time gone? My baby is all grown up :( In three years this little blog with its filthy and morally questionable stories has gathered nearly 8.5K followers and made me some of the best friendships I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.

As I very well know (having a real baby only a month older than this blog) three year olds are no joke. The term “Threenager” really doesn’t come from nowhere. Which got me thinking about my celebration…

What are teenagers? Moody, irritable, angsty. Yes, that’s right, this challenge is all about breaking my heart, making me mad, making me wanna throw something across the room (Maybe not my child or laptop, though).

Below the cut is more info, including a way for reader's to celebrate too!

Below I have listed some of my favourite angsty lyrics, and I’d love for you guys to create a story (2K per part/chapter limit - no chapter limit) inspired by a lyric of your choosing. The deadline will be 17th Feb, 2023 (the day before my blog’s fourth birthday). You can write for any of the characters/actors I write for myself. Not sure if the one you pick is acceptable? Just hit me up.

Dark is fine! The only things I don’t read are: pregnancy/pregnancy related smut, underage (incl age play), snuff, toilet stuff and beastiality (play included), otherwise run wild. If you do write any of the stuff listed, I won’t read, but I’ll still reblog.

Not a writer? Until 18th March, I will be accepting angsty prompts, where I will write a short blurb for my favourite entries. So why not send me your favourite angsty lyrics? Or pick one of the ones from the list below to see my take on it (just let me know what character you’d like) ❤️

Want to cry along with me? I made a Spotify playlist of all the songs I took lyrics from ❤️

Few basic rules to remember:

You have to be 18+ to be following me/participating

For this challenge, you can write any genre; smut, fluff, dark but your fic/prompt MUST include angst as its main feature

There’s no limit on parts/chapters if you want to write a series, I just ask that chapters/parts are 2K or below, to help me be able to read them (thanks, MaDD 🙃)

Write for any fandom/character on my blog.

Please do not include any smut involving underage characters, and remember my above no nos if you want me to read your story!

Tag me in your fic and use the hashtag #nlthreenager

Message me to let me know what prompt you're picking!

Deadline is 17th Feb 2023

Have fun breaking my heart!

Prompts:

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath

I don’t relate to you, ‘cause I’d never treat me this shitty

It must be nice to love someone who puts you first

I gave you my hours and advice just trying to fix you and all your daddy issues

The girl that you want is tearing us apart, because she’s everything I’m not

I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all

You call me up again just to break me like a promise

There’s a girl I know, he loves her so… I’m not that girl

Say I’m your worst mistake, and hell it might be true, but don’t say I didn’t love you

Makeup is expensive, sick of wasting it on exes

I just can’t turn her off and I guess we’ve got that in common

I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to

Did she make you forget you ever missed me?

My hair is smelling like cigarettes somewhere with somebody I’ll forget, ‘cause I’m scared of sleeping with just the truth

I reached for you, but all I felt was shame

I’m sick of everything I’m doing I think is getting me over you

Tell me I’m a waste of love, tell me that I’m not enough

I was thinking on the drive down, ”any time now, he’s gonna say it’s love” - he never called it what it was

Leave my heart all black and blue ‘cause it ain’t half as bad as what I put you through

Where’s that girl that knows not to put up with that?

He walks out the door like I don’t even exist. What did I do to deserve this?

I hate that because you, I can’t love you

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

You would’ve been the one if you were a better man

You can’t deny how hard I tried

Life’s a bitch, and so are you

If they could see the pain you put me in again, maybe then I wouldn’t have to fight no more in this psychological war

You fuck up again and then you blame me, screaming that I’m crazy - maybe I am

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine, and that made me want to die.

You’re just breaking me not any laws

I miss you lying that you love me

Was that love in your eyes I saw or just the reflection of mine?

In your mind it’s over, because you know that I can’t stay sober

What if every good intention is a curse and not a blessing?

You do make me hard, but she makes me weak

Was it too much to ask for just a part of what I gave you back? Why was I so hard to love?

He only calls you pretty when he puts his hands on your body

Some days I can’t face the world outside

You’re only worth how much you sell

Weeping in a party bathroom some actress asking me “What happened?” You. That’s what happened, you.

The voice in my head really needs some help

When I’m with him I am thinking of you

I didn’t mean to fall out of love with you

I don’t want your body but I hate to think about you with somebody else

Just ‘cause I pick up when you call, don’t mean that I wanna talk

Too sad to cry, too high to get up

We sure looked happy in pictures, the camera doesn't show the way it hurt

Missing you comes in waves, and tonight I’m drowning

My love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it

Did I really fucking love you? Or just the image in my head

[pixeldolly]

OC playlist challenge by @marigolde

Take your Sims/ OCs & assign them a song that fits their character to make a little playlist for your characters.  Post yours and tag as many people as you’d like.

I was tagged by @episims! Thank you! I also found it quite challenging to do, so the list isn’t complete; I may add more in the future if I can think of any appropriate songs. Some of them are meant to symbolise the character, some have more to do with a defining event or relationship. 

Fiona Merridew: Karliene - All The Magic (This is actually a Yennefer fan song, but I felt the lyrics suited Fiona quite well, as they speak of pain and rejection which spurred her to seek her own freedom at a heavy cost . Also, Yennefer gave up her ability to have children in return for power; Fiona promised her firstborn to Larkin in exchange for hers; it fits.)

Larkin Meade: Nick Cage & Neko Case - She’s Not There (The song evokes Larkin’s enchanting yet elusive nature, and her devotees’ desperate attempts to find her once she’s gone, but she’s not there)

Eli Calhoun: Delain - Nothing Left (Eli’s hedonistic, self-destructive attempts to feel something other than loneliness and loss come across nicely in this song, I think)

Tess Orwell: Eurielle & Ryan Louder - All I Want (This song fits Tess’s deeply-held desire to find love, and her willingness to give her heart completely to someone who would reciprocate the gesture)

Imogen Calhoun: No Doubt - Ex-Girlfriend (Evocative of Imogen’s inability to let go of her feelings for Larkin, even though anything they had was over many years ago)

Vernoraxia Meade & Mary Kim: The Moody Blues - Nights In White Satin (I put these two together, because it’s a pining song, and it suits them well)

 I tag @rurpleplayssims , @coriel-muroz , @potentialfate-sims , @esotheria-sims and anyone else who feels like it! Only if you want to, of course!

[mrs-hatake]

that’s a wap

The new abandoned building on the outskirts of Musutafu was eerily quiet. Shigaraki and Kurogiri were out running errands for All for One while Toga and Twice where somewhere in the city causing some mayhem no doubt, too frustrated being in hiding after the whole Overhaul fiasco. And, honestly, you didn’t blame them. You wish you could join them but you, and a certain pyromancer, were highly wanted and Pro-Heroes everywhere were looking for you. It would be a huge loss to LoV if they’ve lost their most powerful members. 

But you were bored and Dabi was playing games on his phone and refused to make any small talks with you. It’s not like you two didn’t get along, the blue eyed was just moody and would be social whenever he felt like it. 

You tapped your long, stiletto shaped nails on the stolen coffee table and thought of ways to have Dabi interact with you and kill the boredom that you were feeling, at least until your best friend Toga returns. 

Just as you were about to give up hope and return to your room to watch movies on your stolen laptop, an idea popped into your head. There was this trend that was going around tiktok (hey, just because you were a villain didn’t mean you couldn’t use social media) where people of all ages would dance to this new and popular song with the most vulgar lyrics you’ve ever heard. 

You stole a glance at the man sitting on the beat up couch and wondered how he would react to you dancing to the song. Dabi was an attractive man, there was no lie about that, and it could be just you but you could’ve sworn there was some sort of sexual tension between the two of you. You’ve been on countless missions together, escaped death countless of times and when he was knocked out cold and could barely function after he had woken up, you had nursed him back to health with your minimal knowledge on CPR. There was no way the sexual tension one sided. He must have felt it at one point.

Determined to find out how Dabi felt, you fished out your phone from your pocket and stood up from the armchair to walk to the old kitchen island to rest your phone against a jar of Nutella and prepared the song that was played during the challenge. All the while, Dabi just glanced up from his phone to steal a quick look and return to the device in his hand. 

You exhaled deeply as a way to calm your erratically beating heart. You weren’t a prude and dancing to a song about getting dicked down was of no issue to you. What made you anxious was how Dabi might react. He might not even look away from his phone or, worse, he’d just walk away and pretend as if this whole thing had never happened, leaving you embarrassed and remembering the worst experience of your life. Exhaling one last time, you hit the play button and began to dance. 

The dance moves were easy. You were thankfully flexible so it wasn’t that difficult to execute the moves. You didn’t have a fat ass but it was thick enough to shake and jiggle. Slowly, you forgot why you were dancing and lost yourself to the beat of the song and the amusement it provided you. 

unbeknownst to You, Dabi’s head shot up from his phone once the familiar beat registered in his head and watched you bounce and wiggle your ass with fiery intensity, his jaws clenching tightly.

You were panting slightly when the song ended and you stopped dancing. 

“Damn, I didn’t know there were some whores in the house.”

You startled at Dabi’s words and looked up to meet his gaze. A mistake. His eyes seemed to glow bluer than humanely possible, almost resembling the flames he’d emit whenever he’d fight the Pro-Heroes. 

Not wanting Dabi to have the upper hand, you quickly regained your composure and smirked, “Like what you see?” 

Dabi beckoned you to him with tilt of his head and you made sure to sway your hips as you walked to where he was sitting. His arms snaked themselves around you and snatched you down to his lap.

“If you wanted to jump my bones so badly, all you had to was ask.”

The blush that instantly blossomed on your cheeks was unexpected. Dabi was just so fucking sexy and his voice just had to drop a few octaves. 

Before you could retort with a witty comeback, You could pulse and poke beneath you. Glancing down, you were both surprised and elated that your plan had worked and the sexual tension between you was mutual. 

Raising an eyebrow, you locked gazes with him and rocked your hips against his, “Should we take care of that?”

Dabi groaned before tightening his hold around you and stood up from the couch. “You’ve been a bad girl, Y/N.” 

You could only chuckle as Dabi carried you to his room. Leaning in, caught the lobe of his ear between your teeth and gave it a gentle tug, “Only for you.” 

[northwestofinsanity]

Trying something by request on my Supertramp post...

The "In the Beginning" story Soundtrack:

Three things before I get to it: -Honestly, in a month or so from now, I could randomly hear a song I don't have here and think it would fit perfectly, but this list includes songs I have always considered soundtrack since I wrote it, or for at least half a year at this time. -Yes, I'll consider doing this for other stories. This one is just easy to experiment with it here, because it's already been completed for some time, and it's not as emotionally complicated as some. -Sometimes I'll be heavily inspired by songs of the actual bands involved, but sometimes, I'll be inspired by bands with little to no relation. Winger doesn't exist in the timeline of this story, so none of their songs are involved, and surprisingly, none of Alice's songs are, either. 1) "Nervous" by The Moody Blues. This actually goes for most of my Winger stories where Reb is a main protagonist. In fact, as unlikely as it seems to anyone who didn't grow up on The Moodies, the first chapter got its title from this song. It very much applies in cases where Reb and Kip are apart in the late 90s, or in this case, have yet to form a bond, and Reb is losing riffs and struggling to find his way on his own. 2) "A Man I'll Never Be" Boston. Implied, and to a lesser extent to other songs on this list. I apply this song to a lot of characters who have a struggle living up to the expectations of someone in their life. In the first half of the second chapter, it's definitely a thing for Reb with his conversation with his father -but I'd say it applies far less to Reb than other rock stars I've portrayed with it, like Steve Clark. 3) "Bloody Well Right" by Supertramp. Goes a lot for the end of the second chapter, and the entirety of the third. Kip and Reb haven't figured each other out yet, they had a verbal clash, and they're both off in their own pissy moods trying to figure out what comes next. (Reb is frustrated that he has all these problems despite having been a star student in music school, and that nothing Kip has suggested is helpful to him so far. Feeling defensive, he indeed wants Kip to "shut his face", and while Kip doesn't want to talk bad of Reb, he's "bloody got a right" to complain to Alice about what just happened.) 4) "From the Beginning" -Dokken version (originally by ELP; choosing the Dokken version because A: slower and more pensive feeling, B: the connections Winger and Dokken have). This song was in my head when I came up with the main title of the story. I think it goes best with Chapter 4, which is the heart of the story plot, as it's where Kip and Reb really begin to work out their misunderstandings. Nobody meant to be unkind even if they came off that way. Kip wasn't blind to Reb's troubles as Reb first perceived him. They've both said some things they regret, and it's probably going to keep them up the night after their talk, but they can't take it back now, so it all falls to their ability to forgive and move on, and it so happens that they will, because they were "meant to be here", as all the lyrics suggest. 5) "Don't Look Back" by Boston. This song may be one of my crutches for optimistic scenes, but the breakthrough in the fifth chapter. The dawn is arriving on a solution to the problems here, and neither Kip, nor Reb want to go back to where they were before they sorted out their initial differences. 6) "Souvenirs" by Dan Fogelberg. Okay, *hear me out*, because at first listen, this is gonna be the hardest to justify, when it's not one of Dan's deep-cuts that proved he could rock out when he wanted to... and because it's slow and soft, it might not be what the average metal-head is used to hearing. We have lyrics about random-found trinkets the protagonist remembers parts of life -old places and people by. The slow instrumental behind everything, from the time I listened to this song first at the age of six -before I could even comprehend these lyrics -has always given the vibe of looking at black-and-white photo montages of old, written letters (or maybe this was my mind connecting the song to the

Civil War documentaries my dad always had on back around that time, but I digress). It makes a sleepy, nostalgic feeling to the whole thing. Then, in Chapter 6, Reb gets the letter from Kip with the track recorder -which is not only a souvenir in its own right, but something to also help Reb remember his riffs in Kip's absence. As the chorus of this song suggests, this is a pretty emotional event -and Dan's music can be pretty deep (someone who's never heard of him before tell me if growing up on his music is why I have this instinctive need to write angst!) Reb goes to sleep with this track recorder beneath his pillow and feels more relaxed than he has in some time, and the tune itself fits the chapter's end in the piano through the second half, and the gentle, vocal harmonies on the fadeout. 7) "Telephone Line" by ELO. By the seventh chapter, Kip's on the road getting his first taste of heavy-touring life, and while he and Reb are pretty good at planning up calls, it is a challenge, and it's a bit of a downer that their breaks aren't lining up so that they can see each other. Reb's also getting more frustrated, still being stuck in the loop of barely managing to live on session-work. 8) "Get Me Out Of Here" by John Lodge. (This was a new song when I wrote this in 2017. It's a solo-album track from the same member of The Moodies who sang "Nervous"!) Most of the eighth chapter goes without a soundtrack, as it's me spewing my nerdy-jargon from all the medical courses I've taken, and the first half is just utter chaos. As Kip's coming around in the hospital -and past dealing with the worst of the post-anesthesia symptoms, he's getting stir crazy to get out and find out what comes next. Meanwhile, trapped back at his apartment, Reb is verging on a nervous breakdown, getting nowhere with his efforts of finding new sessions and unable to reach Kip while not knowing why. (Waiting to be contacted after a working interview for my job last year after being trapped in my house, I found new appreciation for both this chapter, and this song). -I do not have an official song for the last chapter. It's honestly very open-ended, so it's hard to fit any one song to it. I can say, "Don't Look Back" could be a reprise here as Kip and Reb are set to go on to form Winger... I've also always liked the short, instrumental by Boston "A New World" that could capture all the anticipation in thirty seconds with no words... and at the time of writing it, I had "Big Talk" by Warrant stuck in my head. It doesn't really fit in what it's about, but Reb and Kip did indeed end up "backing it up" in terms of saying they'd have their own projects someday. Reader's choice on that call.

[samsonet]

Champion Strategies, chapter 4

[read the entire fic here!]

The next morning Leon teaches his brother to shave. Hop gets a kick out of it, laughing at how silly they look with their faces covered in shaving cream. He shaves his lower legs, too, even though Leon tells him he doesn’t need to.

“I just wanna make sure I’m doing it right, that’s all.” He runs his hand on his shin. “Wow. It’s so smooth!”

His good mood seems to be strong, because he doesn’t complain a bit when Leon has to take a call about the Battle Tower. Al Rent’s rain team is having some trouble, and he wants to give them a vacation. He’s got a sandstorm-based team ready to substitute, if that’s alright.

“Of course. You should give all the teams a vacation; they deserve it. No need to worry about substitutes.” That is what the owners of other regions’ battle facilities would say, right? “Ah, I’m sorry, I just got a message.”

Al cheerfully thanks him and hangs up.

The message, it turns out, is not related to work. It’s from Raihan.

[Raihan:] How’s the little guy doing?

[Leon:] He’s good. Seemed moody yesterday but he’s fine today

[Raihan:] Glad 2 hear it. Im gonna be in wyndon today, can I come over at 3?

[Leon:] Sure

*

When Leon enters the living room, he finds Hop giggling over his phone.

“What are you looking at, buddy?”

Dutifully, Hop hands over his phone.

It’s a video of Gloria. She’s standing in front of a mirror, holding her Eevee in one hand and the phone in the other. She’s making silly faces, which Eevee copies as best as it can.

“Oh. This is her TikTok?” Of course Gloria would be making videos for it. She’s at that age where a lot of her peers are on the site; being there is a way of keeping up with kids her age even when champion duties keep her busy.

“Yup!”

Leon pulls up the app on his phone. He’d made his own account about a month ago, looked at some cute Yamper videos but hadn’t posted anything himself. Now is the perfect time to change that.

“Hey, can you teach me how to make a TikTok video?”

Hop looks up in surprise. “You have an account? What’s your username?”

“Leon-dot-Wyndon.” He would’ve chosen @ChampionLeon, @Leon1, @CharizardFan1, or even @LeonReyesOfficial, but somehow every one of those has already been taken.

A soft ping announces that @HopReyes189 has followed him.

“Okay, I can show you how to do a dance, and then I’ll record you on your phone and you can post it.”

The dance Hop teaches him is called the “Ribombee.” It has a lot of quick movements, and it takes a few tries for him to remember them all in order.

“Alright, now I’m gonna play the music, and you do the dance when I tell you to.”

The music is cheerful, with a nice beat and lyrics so fast they’re hard to make out. He likes it.

“Okay, now.”

The whole dance takes about twenty seconds. His professional training has taught him to smile and keep eye contact with the camera, but this is a rare non-battle instance where he actually likes what he’s doing.

Hop gives the signal to stop.

“How’d I do?”

“You need to do it again.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because nobody posts their first take of a meme,” Hop says, matter-of-factly. “You have to do it a few times and pick the best one.”

“I see, I see.”

They record four more takes of the Ribombee. Together they agree that the second take was the best. Hop shows him how to upload, what hashtags to put in the caption, and how to highlight it.

“A lot of people will probably follow you when they realize it’s really your account. It’s like Chattr but there are a lot of teenagers, so don’t feel too bad if they make fun of you. Later I can teach you about sea shanties.”

“Sounds good. Wait. You’ll teach me about what?”

*

At three, Raihan arrives. He’s got that cat’s-mouth expression Leon knows so well, and he’s holding something behind his back. Rotom floats beside him, camera aimed at Hop.

“What are you hiding?”

Raihan slaps his left hand to his chest, a movement of mock insult. “I’ll have you know that I am hiding nothing... well, okay, I do have some amazing news, but I was trying to build up to it. You know?”

“Oh, really.” He leads him to the couch in the living room, remains standing even as Raihan makes himself comfortable, quickly hiding the mysterious object in the pocket of his hoodie. “Let me guess. Some magazine wants us on the cover again?”

“Ah-ah-ah! This good news isn’t for either of us. It’s for your little bro.”

With one long motion, he pulls out the object. It’s a large envelope, printed with rust red and dark blue. Hammerlocke University colors.

Hop takes the envelope with wide eyes. He looks at the addresses, then tears it open and pulls out the papers.

“Is this…” A gasp. “I got accepted!”

“Accepted?”

Raihan says, “He applied to Hammerlocke. Hammerlocke asked me if the kid who applied was the same one who battled my gym. They were definitely impressed.”

Leon is still processing it. “You applied there? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“A-a few months ago. I was only going to tell you if I got in. I thought you didn’t like Hammerlocke University, you know, because of…”

Raihan and Leon glance at each other. They laugh.

“No, it’s a great school. Of course I’m worried about you being on your own, but… I know you’ll be fine. You survived the gym challenge, didn’t you?” He rubs his knuckles on the top of Hop’s head. “Good job, Hopscotch.”

Raihan leans back. “I won’t lie to you, being Leon’s brother didn’t hurt your chances. But Hammerlocke is putting you on their league team, meaning they think you’re good enough to represent them in front of the whole region.” He preens a little. “I was on their team during undergrad. You’ve got a lot to live up to, little champ!”

“Oh, please.” Leon grins. “When Hop gets there, everyone’ll be be calling him the best Hammerlocke ever had!”

He pats Hop on the back. His brother is grinning widely, face flushed from the excitement.

“And I’ve got another surprise for you.” Raihan goes back to the door, sticks his head out, and calls, “You two! We’re ready!”

In three seconds, Gloria and Sonia are in the flat. They’ve brought bags full of colorful items. Gloria has cupcakes. It looks like the three of them have planned it all out. Leon isn’t mad, though. This is the perfect situation for a small surprise party.

Hop greets his friend with an expression of pure joy on his face. It’s wonderful to watch. Leon stands with the other adults as the kids talk about what this means.

“How long have you been planning this?” he asks in a low voice.

“Raihan got the news yesterday morning. We came today because Gloria got some free time.” Sonia puts her hand on her cheek. Her fingernails have been painted rust red and dark blue. “We figured telling him here would make the whole thing more exciting.”

“Thank you, both of you. For today, but also for everything you’ve done for him. I… I’m so glad he has you two to look out for him.”

Raihan gives him the soft, friendly smile that he never shows online. “Hey. He’s got the best big brother in the world, too.”

*

The celebration lasts for a few hours, with the five of them talking and laughing. Eventually Gloria yawns, and Sonia takes the opportunity to say goodbye and take her home. Raihan follows with one last “congratulations” to Hop.

Then they are alone.

Leon looks at Hop, and his chest hurts from just how much he’s feeling. Joy, affection, pride, love — it’s overwhelming. His little brother is so smart. So talented. So amazing. He’s so lucky to have him.

Leon hugs his brother tight.

“I’m so proud of you. I love you so much.”

Hop hugs back. When he pulls away, he’s smiling.

[therappundit]

***BEST OF 2020: The Best Rap Albums From a Historically Horrible Year***

So much has been said about this year, so on the last day of 2020 I don’t need to dive any further into exploration of what made this year so challenging (both at a personal and global level), but on the bright side I will say that two unrelated forces saved this year for me: 1.) my amazing baby daughter, and 2.) the seemingly never ending cycle of new, interesting music releases.

Before we dive in, just two points on my criteria for this list:

- must be released within this calendar year (1/1 - 12/31/20)

- must consist of at least 7 tracks

- rankings are according to a combination of my own favorite albums, and other impressive pieces of work that might not be directly up my alley, but I still found truly impressive

So for my last post of 2020...here are the Top 100 Rap Albums/Projects of 2020 (and a more than worthy list of albums that belong on that same list, further down the page):

10. HOMME by Kipp Stone

Without a doubt the most under-the-radar project on this list, and technically a mixtape and not an "album"...but that doesn't matter much to me, because this effort contains every bit of passion, every bit of perspective, and every bit of sheer love for rapping as any of the the best rap albums of 2020. It's hard to say whether East Cleveland is headed towards similar territory that Detroit, Buffalo, and Rochester now occupy, but with HOMME Kipp Stone captures the hunger, anxiety and forever shoulder-chipped struggle of having big dreams that seem more like unlikely fantasies. Kipp was buzzing a few years back, but making his grand return with this project is confirmation that he is next level talent and is more than ready to make a big splash in 2021.

9. Reasonable Drought by Stove God Cook$ and Roc Marciano

Quotes, on top of quotes, on top of quotes. Not sure what else to say about Roc Marciano's protege at this point, who came out of nowhere to close out 2020 as one of the most sought after feature-verse assassins in the business today.  Yes, his bars are hilarious, but it's the outside-the-box references and unpredictable bar pairings that truly made this project such an impressive debut. Roc provided high quality instrumentals for Reasonable Drought, but it's clear that he was intentionally lurking in the background to allow the Stove God to stand on his own two. While the album is probably not at the level of Jigga's classic Reasonable Doubt debut that this project tips its' cap to, it's not hard to imagine that someday we will look back at Stove God Cook$' debut as the coming out party for one of New York City's finest MCs.

8. Àdá Irin by Navy Blue

I never imagined that one of the biggest challenges at this point would not be whether or not Navy Blue deserves to be recognized as having one of the top rap 10 albums of 2020, but rather which album to choose for the top 10!? From Earl Sweatshirt affiliate and Soundcloud producer to standout solo talent, the west coast born by east coast stationed MC/writer/producer/model/skateboarder (!?) had himself a banner year. Of his many gifts, his strongest is his ability to craft beautiful, soulful soundscapes that blend the best elements of the NYC lofi scene with shades of late 90's L.A. underground. Dealing with themes of love, loss, joy, and depression, Navy seems to possess wisdom well beyond his years, and it enabled him to craft not one, but two of the most inviting and accessible offerings from lofi circles that I have heard, and I mean that in the best way possible.  

7. From King To A God (Deluxe) by Conway The Machine

He did it. Griselda's top muscle came through to deliver his most well-rounded, and arguably strongest overall project yet. Everything from the bars, to the varied production, to the bleeding soul of this project exemplifies the difference between an album and a "tape". The Machine was a machine in 2020, blitzing an astronomical number of feature verses, but FKTG was the gem he needed in his crown to solidify himself as a contender for best MC in the game moving forward. While this is not his actual Shady Records label debut (who knows when that will arrive now), this certainly feels like his major league arrival.

6. Alfredo by Freddie Gibbs and The Alchemist

Two hip-hop specialists getting together to drop a project just for fun in the middle of a pandemic...what could go wrong? Well, almost nothing, actually. Freddie arrived dripping with soul and Al slid a nice little package of beats his way, and what we ended up with was a strong partner-project to FETTI (their previous stellar collaboration alongside Curren$y), only packaged with little snippets of personal revelations and free-flowing opinions throughout. Gibbs is one of the masters of hooking you in with his voice and contagious flow, so much so that his skills as a talented writer are often overlooked. While not necessarily the incredible revelation that his collaborations with Madlib have been thus far, there's enough strong chemistry here between MC and producer to lock Alfredo down as easily one of the best rap projects of 2020. And the Grammy's would certainly agree.

5. Descendants of Cain by Ka

One of the genre's true master writers, Ka albums feel like audio literature placed over hard-nosed rap beats. Many rappers view themselves as true artists, but few can say they are capable of weaving the type of rhyme poetry that Ka seems to wield with casual ease. The truth is that it's not easy, we just aren't around to witness the care and editing that goes into Ka's work. Featuring too many stirring quotes to single out (and let us not forget an incredible surprise verse from fellow Metal Clergy-man, Roc Marcinao), Decendants of Cain is yet another impressive addition to Ka's catalogue, doing more to capture the paradoxical surroundings of environments that are equal parts harsh and loving - and often doing so through religious metaphors - than many MCs can do in a year. His lyrical paintings of the world may be bleak, but they are not without hope.

4. As God Intended by Che Noir & Apollo Brown

Apollo Brown has been one of the most revered - albeit not loudly proclaimed - underground hip-hop producers of the past decade. He has joined forces with many talented MCs to drop full partner projects, but perhaps none as under-the-radar as Buffalo's Che Noir. But what Che Noir lacked in household name status heading into 2020, she more than makes up for with conviction, writing ability, and the skills of an elite MC. The result of this collaboration is a beautiful, personal, at times painful, and at times just straight badass album, and one that deserves recognition from top rap circles. In my opinion, this is the greatest production work of Apollo Brown's career thus far, and it's hard to say where it will rank for Che Noir since she seems to be a fresh talent that is very much still on the rise - but as of right now, you have to call her one of the best in the biz today.

3. Pray for Paris by Westside Gunn

Westside Gunn is one of the masters of the volume game. That's not to say he - or anyone in camp Griselda - sacrifice quality over quantity, but it's safe to say that you know what you're gonna get with a Westside Gunn album. Welp, WSG rewrote the script with this one. What began as an art-inspired passion project between album releases ended up being the overall strongest Griselda project of 2020, and one of the year's most fascinating rap albums. Since his highly regarded Supreme Blientele album, Gunn has gradually been pulling his own lyrical content out of the spotlight, opting to play cook and curator, throwing a mixture of in-house producers and rappers in a pot with outside talent, to mirror the ambiance of a dark, gritty rap fashion show. His projects are less statements of content, than they are audio "scenes" that the listener is invited into, as if they’re Basquiat level exhibitions quantum-leaping forward in time to now live amongst a hungry, thriving rap scene in upstate New York. That's not to say that PFP isn't a lyrical feast as well, with everyone from Tyler, The Creator to Joey Bada$$ to Wale to professional dancer Cartier William having their turn in the spotlight. All thanks to Westside Gunn, the rare MC that enjoys being the host of his own party more than being the center of attention at one.

2. A Written Testimony by Jay Electronica (featuring JAY-Z)

While some are waving the Act II flag as Jay Electronica's "real" debut album, I am less interested in a cool collection of mostly-finished old songs, and much more interested in a polished,  brilliantly produced project with (again, mostly) new verses from both Electronica and JAY-Z. It's easily the shortest selection on this list, but I feel like the quality of each individual song makes up for the brevity. I couldn't care less whether anyone thinks this is more of a duo-album or a solo piece, because the themes are certainly coming from Electronica's wheel house, and the fact that Hov was able to tweak his content to meet him there, is one of the things that makes AWT so special to me. 

1. The Price of Tea in China (Deluxe) by Boldy James and The Alchemist

No, it doesn’t represent a seismic shift in the culture, and no it’s not *the album* that we heard blasting out of everyone’s (or anyone’s) car speakers this year, but when it came to sheer execution, and mastery over the style of music they were aiming to make, there just simply wasn’t one flaw in Boldy James and The Alchemist’s The Price of Tea in China. From the distinctly moody production, to the guest verses, to the steady hand of a wizened veteran of the street life, intent on sharing unfiltered tales of his underworld without any additional bells or whistles, it all clicks so well that I can’t picture taking the project out of my rotation. Uncle Al went deeeeeeep into his bag with this one, and Boldy seems to have returned from the industry grave to reach the highest level of recognition of his career. In a year stuffed with a plethora of high quality examples of every flavor of rap music imaginable, The Price of Tea in China is the ideal pick for album of the year, because it’s prestige is built upon it’s ability to simply be what it wanted to be without turning an ear to trends or reaching for broader recognition. TPOTIC’s broader recognition is made possible due to Boldy & Al’s artistic commitment to just making the type of music that a MC from Detroit and a legendary underground producer from Los Angeles love to make, and for that we should be very grateful.

Top 100  (all belong in the Top 25-50, but…there’s only 100 spots in the Top 100, so here we go):

11. FlySiifu by Fly Anakin & Pink Siifu

12. Song of Sage: Post Panic! by Navy Blue

13. Eastern Medicine, Western Illness by Preservation

14. Too Afraid To Dance EP by Chuck Strangers

15. Noise Kandy 4 by Rome Streetz

16. Mt. Marci by Roc Marciano

17. Burden of Proof by Benny The Butcher & Hit-Boy

18. Battle Scar Decorated by Monday Night & Henny L.O.

19. We Know the Truth (Deluxe) by Drakeo the Ruler

20. The Allegory by Royce Da 5′9″

21. Bag Talk by yungmorpheus & Pink Siifu

22. Innocent Country 2 by Quelle Chris

23. Weight of the World by MIKE

24. Kontraband by Rome Streetz & Farma Beats

25. BRASS by Moor Mother & billy woods

26. Try Again by ovrkast.

27. Shrines by Armand Hammer

28. The Smartest by Tee Grizzley

29. Good Energy by Grafh

30. Substance Abuse by Rigz & Futurewave

31. Cold Water by Medhane

32. King’s Disease by Nas & Hit-Boy

33. Milestones by Skyzoo

34. Young & Turnt 2 by 42 Dugg

35. My Turn by Lil Baby

36. Manger on McNichols by Boldy James and Sterling Toles

37. The OutRunners by Curren$y & Harry Fraud

38. Mach’s Hard Lemonade by Mach-Hommy

39. Sages by Henny L.O. & Ohbliv

40. E.L.E. (Extinction Level Event): The Final World Front by Busta Rhymes

41. Lake Water by SeKwence

42. At the End of the Day. by Fly Anakin

43. Sole Food by Deniro Farrar

44. The Oracle 3 by Grafh

45. The Blue Tape by Tree

46. lo&behold by lojii

47. Who Made The Sunshine by Westside Gunn

48. RTJ4 by Run The Jewels

49. Whitehouse Studio, Pt. 2 by Various Aritsts [Detroit]

50. Carpe Noctem by Big Ghost Ltd

51. Infinite Wisdom by Lord Jah-Monte Ogbon

52. The Throwaways by The Opioid Era

53. Anyways by Young Nudy

54. PTSD (Deluxe) by G Herbo

55. Holly Favored by Monday Night & Foisey

56. THE GOAT by Polo G

57. Dump YOD: Krutoy Edition by Your Old Droog

58. The Face of Jason by ANKHLEJOHN

59. Two4one by Jay Worthy

60. Poetic Substance by RIM & Vinyl Villain

61. ve·loc·i·ty by H31R (Maassai & JWords)

62. UNLOCKED by Denzel Curry & Kenny Beats

63. Slim E and Friends by CHASETHEMONEY

64. Alone Time by YL

65. FLYGOD Is An Awesome God 2 by Westside Gunn

66. OBLIVION by Black Noi$e

67. Sleeper Effect by Sleep Sinatra

68. Savage Mode 2 by 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

69. Thug Tear by Big Kashuna O.G. & Monday Night

70. II - The Next Wave by Quakers

71. Demon & Mufasa by Yhung T.O. & DaBoii

72. Eternal Atake by Lil Uzi Vert

73. Miles by Blu & Exile

74. IMMORTALKOMBAT by Al Divino & Estee Nack

75. The Baltimore Housing Project by Jay Royale

76. I’m Still Perfect by Baby Smoove

77. The Grotesque & Beautiful by Teller Bank$

78. Crime Scenes by Ransom & Nicholas Craven

79. Streams Of Thought, Vol. 3. by Black Thought

80. Ways and Means by Rasheed Chappell & 38 Spesh

89. Sacred Psalms by El Camino & 38 Spesh

90. As Above So Below by ANKHLEJOHN

91. Tomorrow Is Forgotten by Stik Figa & Conductor Williams

92. So Help Me God! by 2 Chainz

93. Sauce Monk Volume 3 by Sauce Heist & Camoflauge Monk

94. A Beautiful Drug by WTM Scoob

95. Don’t Play It Straight by Small Bills (ELUCID & The Lasso)

96. No More Humble Fashion by Flee Lord

97. Pharaoh Chain by Planet Asia & Tha Musalini

98. Numb by Sha Hef

99. Interstate 38 by 38 Spesh

100. Get Money Teach Babies by Heist Life & Spanish Ran

THE REST OF THE BEST (all belong in the Top 100 releases of 2020, blame 2020 for being such a stacked year for music) - in no particular order:

Assata by CV$ a.k.a. Con$piracy & Teller Bank$, Spencer for HIGHER 3 by Vic Spencer & sonnyjim, Big Bad Boldy by Boldy James & Real Bad Man, Da 5th Power by Mooch, Muthaland by BbyMutha, Act II: Patents of Nobility (The Turn) by Jay Electronica, Long Story Short by Heem, Eileen by 14 Trapdoors, Free Drakeo by Drakeo the Ruler, Da Fixtape by Da Cloth, The L.I.B.R.A. by T.I.,  Sinners & Saints by Rasheed Chappell & Buckwild, Black Schemata by yungmorpheus............... Polly by the Powder Keg by Chuck Chan & Pad Scientist, High Off Life by Future,  Memphis Massacre 2 by Duke Deuce, LSD by The Leonard Simpson Duo & Guilty Simpson, Funeral by Lil Wayne............ RAW UNKNOWN by Spectacular Diagnostics,  Nezzie’s Star by Eddie Kaine,  ShrapKnel (self-titled),  The Bluest Note by Skyzoo & Dumbo Station,  WUNNA by Gunna,  Meet The Woo 2 by Pop Smoke,  Fresh Air by UFO Fev & Statik Selektah,  Vito by Vince Ash, Avenues by Tony Seltzer & Adrian Lau, Spilligion by Spillage Village, GRIMM & EViL by GRiMM Doza, Closer Than They Appear by Lyric Jones, RUDEBWOY by CJ Fly, Wired Different by Ty Farris & Bozack Morris,  Rocket to Nebula by Killah Priest,  NO Blade of Grass by V Don,  I’m My Brother’s Keeper by Yella Beezy & Trapboy Freddy................. Carhartt Champions by Tree Mason, No Hook 3 by Dunbar,  Rowhouse Whispers by Ray West & Zilla Rocca,  Magneto Was Right #4 by Raz Fresco, DUMP LIFE by Tha God Fahim, Jay NiCE & Left Lane Didon,  FNTG: From Niggaz to Godz by Squeegie O,  PANAGNL4E, Vol. 2 by Los and Nutty,  Thank You For Using GTL by Drakeo & JoogSzn,  Adjust to the Game by Larry June, BETTER by Deante’ Hitchcock,  No Cosign Just Cocaine 3 by Ty Farris, Vangarde by Mr. Lif & Stu Bangas,  MSYKM by Tsu Surf,  Your Birthday’s Cancelled by Iron Wigs.................. LULU by Conway & The Alchemist, No One Mourns The Wicked by Conway & Big Ghost, Talk Soon by Nolan The Ninja, FULL CIRCLE by Medhane, Detroit 2 by Big Sean, Juno by Che Noir & 38 Spesh, Send Them To Coventry by Pa Salieu............... Marlowe 2 by Marlowe (L’Orange & Solemn Brigham), The Versace Tape by Boldy James & Jay Versace, The Balancing Act by Statik Selektah, Capital Gains by Willie The Kid, Deutsche Marks 2 by Willie The Kid & V Don, Keep Going by Larry June & Harry Fraud, The Sharecropper’s Daughter by Sa-Roc, Seven Times Down Eight Times Up by Elzhi & JR Swiftz.................... The Ghost of Fritz by Jamal Gasol, Don’t Feed the Monster by Homeboy Sandman & Quelle Chris, Anime, Trauma and Divorce by Open Mike Eagle, Brentwood by Poloboy Nunu, The Listening Session by Billy Danze & TooBusy, Midnight Sons by Zilla Rocca & Chong Wizard, A Piece of Mine by Bub Rock, The Rock Period by Bub Rock, WINTER by DJ Muggs, Bartier Bounty 2 by Sada Baby, Cincorginals by Tobe Nwigwe, Director’s Cut (Scene Three) by Ransom & Nicholas Craven, Rather Be A Real One by Vic Spencer.............. Exhibit Q by Deniro Farrar, After 12 by Che Noir, Blank Checc by Baby Money, Jesus Is My Homeboy by YL, The People’s Champ by Flee Lord, In The Name of Prodigy by Flee Lord & Havoc, Culture Over Corporate by Uptown X.O., Sell Sole 2 by Dej Loaf, Progress by Struggle Mike, Merry Wickmas by Shawny Binladen, Don’t Ask Me Where I’m From by Donsmith, Serene by VRN Hayes, In My Life by Dat Boi Vic,  Ho, Why Is You Here? by Flo Milli, Limbo by Aminé........................................thank you, and cheers to a happier, healthier New Year. 🙏

[dustedmagazine]

The Joy Formidable — Into the Blue (Enci)

Into The Blue by The Joy Formidable

The Joy Formidable make a super clear, super clean version of indie rock where everything gleams and reverberates. The sound benefits equally from Ritzy Bryan’s pop exuberant vocal delivery and her gnarly, riff-centric guitar; the two things ought to be at odds, but somehow aren’t. Arena-friendly choruses stream out of the scratchy, howling string-work; the songs pound hard with big muscular bass lines (that’s co-founder Rhydian Dafydd) and reverb-accentuated drums (Matt Thomas). It’s a bit too glossy for me, but not objectionable. The brute force of “Chimes,” for instance, is polished like a mirror, but remains authentically powerful.

Into the Blue is the Welsh duo’s fifth full-length album, and like most of the music we’re listening to these days, it has a COVID backstory. Early in 2020, Bryant and Dafydd made what they thought would be a quick trip to Bryant’s home in Utah, planning to pick up some gear and fly back to record in Wales. But when the pandemic hit, they were stuck in the desert. Fortunately, though, they were together and had access to instruments and recording equipment, so they began laying down tracks anyway. The songs reflect this difficult period; though themes of blockage and confusion thread through this album, there is also a palpable sense of getting on with it, of forging ahead regardless, of carefully conserving one’s optimism amid recurring challenges. In the spirited “Interval,” for instance, Bryant sings, “don’t think about it, it’s a crossroads, for me, just look around it, it’s an interval, before I leave.” But she’s not doing the song in a mope-y, introspective way; the drums thunder, the guitar screams, the melody explodes with crisp, confident energy.

Perhaps the most obvious way that this album reflects the COVID lockdown, however, is in its weirder, more idiosyncratic second half, which is, incidentally, the best part of the record. Bryan cuts her clarion voice to a whisper in moody, drum-crashing, “Gotta Feed My Dog,” putting a scrim of mystery what has been, to this point, crowd-pleasing anthemry.  (The song also nods to the 19 dogs Bryant has fostered over the lockdown period; she’s not kidding about having pups to feed.) It is followed by the languid, Spanish-guitar flourishing, “Somewhere,” where Dafydd sings in a surprising vulnerable, lyrical way, and then, the balls-out synth-blues-boogie of “Bring It to the Front.” The back end of Into the Blue is all over the map, in other words, and that’s a good thing.

Jennifer Kelly

[60sgroove]

4, 15, 23, 24, 38. 💛

4. what are your favorite songs?

I really do not know my favorite songs of all time. I guess I know some of them actually or ones that always strike a chord w me so here are some: stairway to heaven - led zeppelin (basic ik), the last time i saw her - gordon lightfoot, andmoreagain - love, most tool songs (except from their last album), graveflower - acid bath, made of stone - the stone roses, most stevie nicks led songs from fleetwood mac, and silver raven - gene clark. there are so many more so this isn't rly accurate but!

15. what songs give you the most nostalgia?

this is a challenging question for me ngl. nostalgia is my favorite feeling and some songs make me feel nostalgic for reasons i can't completely explain. here are some songs that make me feel inexplicably nostalgic: rhiannon - fleetwood mac, clarice - america, love theme - the dark crystal soundtrack (this is from my childhood), ten years gone - led zeppelin, blue lamp - stevie nicks, forever autumn - the moody blues, still ill - the smiths, dust in the wind - kansas, in the wake of poseidon - king crimson

23. if you were to become a musician, what kind of musician would you be?

I have no idea. I like so many different genres but I probably would end up trying to recapture that sort of mystical yet familiar feeling that stevie nicks and fleetwood mac accomplished haha...prob would have a classic rock/folk style actually

24. if you could pick one instrument to learn how to play, what would it be?

i would be happy learning to play any instrument, but guitar, piano, violin, or the clarinet all seem really cool!

38. which songs do you think have the best lyrics?

i rly don't pay much attention to lyrics and if i do, they are from specific bands bc i just like their lyrics so much. reflection by tool has some of my favorite lyrics just bc i have internalized them i guess? here are some of my fav lyrics from that song:

And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping The moon tells me a secret, my confidant As full and bright as I am This light is not my own and A million light reflections pass over me

Its source is bright and endless She resuscitates the hopeless Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting

And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt Don't want to be down here soothing my narcissism I must crucify the ego before it's far too late I pray the light lifts me out Before I pine away

[entireoranges-creativity]

Gods And Their Intentions

Title: Gods And Their Intentions Fandom: Game Of Thrones Ship: Braime For: Moody Blues Lyrics Challenge (#183 You’re stronger than you think you are) And also @braimeficideas (Jaime finds out Brienne is pregnant. Again.) Note: Also posted on AO3 Disclaimer: I don’t own. Don’t sue.

He found her leaning against the balcony on the solar staring off towards the crashing waves on the beach; a storm was soon approaching. He leans against the frame of the door trying to gauge and understand the emotion are face was portraying, with her it was often a harder task to accomplish. Always so guarded and protected even when she didn't need to be.

"You missed breakfast." He states softly, she turns towards him, unsurprised by his voice and simply nods her head.

"I wasn't hungry."

"You also did not eat much during the evening meal either."

"I said I wasn't hungry Jaime!" She snaps at him before turning defiantly back towards her view, he steps forward to join her. After a few minutes of only the sounds of surrounding nature he takes notice of a rare noise and it takes him a moment to fully comprehend it is happening.

"Brienne! What's wrong?!" She is sobbing nearly silently, almost ashamed of being caught as she tries to jerk away from him.

"Leave me be. Please." Jaime chuckles softly.

"You know I can not do that. Speak to me. Please." He had grown suspicious the last few weeks and more then ever the past couple days she was holding the weight on her shoulders of something that was tearing her apart. He respected Brienne enough not to push, allow her in her own time to release the burden. This was too much though and he could not accept her need for privacy.

"I can't do this again." It is spoken so low Jaime can barely hear her.

"Do what?"

"I'll die. I will truly will Jaime. If..." The sobs are now wrecking her and she allows herself to be pulled into his arms where she clings onto him tightly.

"Brienne what are you...' Jaime is hit by the realization of what this conversation was about and the full understanding of the passing weeks. 'you're with child." He gently pushes her back, brushes one of the countless tears off her cheek and smiles hoping she will mirror him, she does not..

"How can you?"

"How can I what my love?"

"Be so happy about this? After..."

"Brienne you need to forgive yourself for that." This was a conversation they had more times then he could recall; and she never seemed to accept the words he offered her.

"Our child died. While in my womb. How can I forgive myself for that? I pledged to protect the innocent and..." She laughs almost sarcastically.

"These things happen. The maester explained that. We can't question the Gods and their intentions for us. You. Did. Nothing. Wrong." Jaime wants to shout the last part and violently shake for shoulders, instead stays calm and even.

"You can never understand Jaime. No man can." He nods solemnly.

"I know my love."

"What if the same thing happens?" Brienne brushes her flat stomach before allowing her hand to rest against it.

"It will not."

"You can't promise that. What if the Gods intend us to be childless forever?"

"I refuse to believe that."

"Jaime but..."

"You need to stop. Please. What happened was a travesty. One of the worst moments in my life. But this?' He places his hand atop of hers 'is a new chance. You're stronger then you think you are."

"I'm scared."

"I know. So am I. But more then that I'm excited. Gods I'm so happy!" At last she smiles.

"We're having a baby." The four most beautiful words ever spoken.

"I know.' He leans in and kisses her softly. 'the Gods have blessed me once again. First with allowing you in my life and now this." It is now his turn to cry.

"Long as I don't..."

"Shush my love. That's not going to happen again." It wasn't a promise, rather a threat to any God whom might be listening.

"We should get in before the rain arrives."

"Of course my love. And I'm gonna have the servants bring you up some breakfast. A double serving even."

"Jaime I already said...' She stops and smirks seeing the look on his face 'yes of course whatever you wish husband."

"Thank you very kindly wife."

[jasperwhitcock]

02. DISTRACTIONS

i’ve decided to continue with the au of bella as a vampire & edward as a human inspired by a post from @bellasredchevy, so here’s another installment (you can read the first chapter here). if anyone has thoughts on if it’d be more preferable for me to post this fanfic on wattpad/fanfiction.net/another website rather than posting it on tumblr, let me know :-) if not, i’ll continue to post here & figure out some tag to make it easier to find!

The boys had left for a hunting trip, so I found myself falling victim to what Alice liked to call a “sleepover”. It was a ridiculous name for this kind of occasion. An unfortunate part of what we were consequently lost us the ability to sleep and thus, dream. I had found this to be something I considered an advantage when I was first changed. I had so much extra time I could devote to reading! Unfortunately, the excitement didn’t last very long. I still enjoyed the benefits of all the ample time, but I did miss the creativity of my subconscious that allowed me to live in other worlds unrestricted by the more sentient, aware parts of my mind. I missed escapism.

I even missed the nightmares at times. I had been such a vivid dreamer.

Additionally, it was even further ridiculous to refer to this as a sleepover when we spent every night together. Without the sleep and the ‘over’ aspect of spending the night away from home, this was definitely the worst sleepover I’d been to in the course of my existence.

Although, as a bonding time amongst the women of the Olympic Coven, with the exception of some of Alice’s ideas for activities, I enjoyed this kind of night very much. I’d have gone with the boys to hunt if I had any intention of returning to school tomorrow. I’d owe them an explanation when they returned as for the tension that filled the car as we drove home from school. I hated to be the center of attention, so I was appreciative when Alice and Rosalie agreed to keep the horrific encounter a secret for now. I didn’t want the scrutiny of their concern nor the dramatics of the situation.

I was lucky that they had plans with Carlisle. Rosalie was able to convince Emmett and Jasper to begin their night early by allowing us to drop them off at the hospital – much to the dismay of my bulkier brother who had spent his day eagerly anticipating our rematch. My other sister easily dismissed their suspicion of our motives. Nobody questioned Alice twice. I was glad to have more time to mull over what to say to Carlisle. As much as I wanted his guidance, if I could put off growing the audience to my moment of weakness for another couple of hours, I’d gladly take the distraction of Alice braiding my hair into a long plait down my back while she blasted music in the garage where Rosalie worked.

Typically when we had nights like these, we each selected an activity to do together. Alice made the choice  – unfortunately for me – to sort through all of our closets and rid them of items she no longer deemed wearable. With the exception of a few favorites, we rarely wore the same things twice, so it seemed like a waste of time. That is until I realized that this was all just a ruse to chastise me for the items of clothing she stocked in my closet that I didn’t wear. My small, voyeuristic sister was pleased with Rosalie and Esme, creating a nice, substantial pile of clothing to donate, whereas my closet ended up acquiring even more clothing than before. I was far too moody to care to protest.

Esme arranged for the four of us to paint together while some french movie played in the background. As an added challenge, she had Alice describe a vision to us, and we all attempted to capture the image on our canvases. Rosalie simply wanted our company as she continued her ongoing project of restoring yet another classic car that she’d eventually gift as an item for a charity auction. My activity of choice usually was the same: I’d select a book for us to read, and we’d have a book club to conclude the night once we’d all finished.

Tonight, however, I wasn’t feeling entirely up for it. Although I definitely wouldn’t mind the fictional escape away from Forks, I didn’t have it in me to sincerely participate in the conversation that would follow.

I wanted to move beyond the events of this afternoon already. As much as it disconcerted me, I didn’t want to be so severely consumed. I was growing irritated with the feelings of disappointment that preoccupied me. I had taken my ease in this life for granted.

Although I knew it wasn’t his fault, I found myself becoming frustrated with the Masen kid. When I began to see eyes materializing in the green brush strokes of the trees of my painting, I unintentionally destroyed my canvas. Something about the perplexity in his shockingly perceptive irises and the intelligence that marked his thick eyebrows when they pulled together was inexplicably haunting me. The irony of feeling haunted when I was the undead creature was not lost on me.

“I’ll grab you another one, dear,” Esme soothed, exchanging worried glances with Rosalie and Alice before disappearing to bring me another large square of coarse, woven white fabric to vandalize.

When the lyrics of the song Alice sang along to as Esme handed Rosalie the tools she needed began to creep into my head and develop new meanings I didn’t want to hear, I abruptly sprang from the driver's seat of Rose’s convertible and ran from the garage. I wanted to unravel in peace.

I stopped when I reached the large, grey stones of the riverbank.

The forest was peaceful. It was nearly dawn; a pale, purple-grey tinted light cloaked the scenery before me, the orange and pink hues of the morning sun that should fade into the navy-black of the night sky were hidden behind a thick layer of rain clouds. The water of the river flowed sinuously by as some birds sang far in the distance. The greenery was enveloped in the fallen rain of the night, droplets of water clinging stunningly to every blade of grass, every needle of pine of the lush vegetation like crystals and diamonds. A cold mist intimately caressed the river, enveloping the landscape in a fresh haze. I could now see the vision Alice described a few hours prior come to life. Here I stood now, quietly, amongst the skyline of trees in daybreak.

I closed my eyes to the muted beauty of this morning, indifferent to the ephemerality of the moment. How many mornings had I seen like this? They were all already cemented in my infallible mind. I breathed in, the cold air whistling deliciously down my throat. On my tongue I could taste the minty, rain-kissed evergreens, the warm streams of blood pumping the tiny, fluttering heartbeats of the smallest animals, the earthy, sweet brooks leading back to the river. The wind softly stroked the sparkling spring water, and as I focused on the faint whisper of an insect’s fluttering wings, I heard the lithe, recognizable stride of my adopted mother approaching. With her came new scents and sounds – white gardenia, freshly baked bread, honey, peach blossoms, a whisper of lush silk, a hiss of air, a gentle nuzzling of fast footsteps on glossy moss.

She arrived by my side but said nothing, joining me in my silent reverie.

“You have nothing to say?” I asked after we stood there for some time, Esme watching what I assumed was the faint hint of the sun rising beyond the clouds, lifting the overcast view into lighter shades of blue-grey. I could feel the slight difference in temperature against my skin.

“Is there something you wish for me to say, sweetheart?” Esme asked gently.

I finally opened my eyes, turning to meet her topaz eyes full of love and patience.

“Not really,” I half-smiled, feeling guilty.

Her beautiful mouth widened into a smile, lighting up her heart-shaped face. She seemed to find some humor in my honesty, letting out a peal of laughter that frightened some distant creatures into silence at the unexpected sound of bells. Her caramel-colored waves of hair shook lightly with the motion.

“Oh, my Bella.” Instantaneously, I was enveloped in her warm, velvet arms. “It is absolutely valid to feel such despondency, but we must celebrate that we are not mourning the loss of another life! For that, I am very proud of you. And I’ve been so relieved that in this life you’ve never had to grieve the mistakes that even I have made...but we would never feel differently towards you if you had. Nor do we feel differently that you’re experiencing a struggle much more strenuous than before.”

She paused before continuing more fervently, “it makes you no less strong, and you will have the strength to resist...I believe that with all my heart. Please don’t feel so disappointed with yourself. You must give yourself some credit and patience and forgiveness. It pains me to see you so cheerless!”

“I’m sorry I seem so...down,” I sighed, resting my head dejectedly on her shoulder. “I guess, to be frank, it just...sucks to feel like I don’t have the super sense of self control that I thought I did. I’m beginning to feel bad for Jasper now,” I snorted bitterly.

She laughed again at my colloquial choice of words.

“Perhaps you owe him an apology. You and your brother have given him an awful lot of trouble for how he struggles,” my mother accused me teasingly, stroking my hair just as my sisters had. The comfort was nice, but I also felt irrationally remorseful to have any need for it.

“Yeah, maybe I do,” I frowned, thinking of having to put aside my pride.

She pulled away to hold me at arm’s length, cautiously studying my face.

After a moment, she pulled me against her again in another embrace.

“I will leave you alone now. It seems you would benefit from some more time by yourself to think without your sisters’ futile attempts to distract you.”

I could tell she was smiling from the way the words left her mouth. “But I won’t allow you to wallow in pity forever.”

Esme released me from the hug and reappeared four yards away from me, the expression on her perfect face stern. “So take the time you need to process how you’re feeling. But only be alone if you need to be. Don’t let yourself be lonely. That’s very important...You know where we will be.”

With that, she was gone.

I couldn’t understand why I was so inconsolable. Of course, I valued her words and the sentiment. My family’s understanding and support were wonderful to have, but I couldn’t shake the upheaval the boy’s blood had wreaked on my thoughts. It seemed to me a cruel joke, that after all these years of so naturally adjusting to this life, I now experienced the true, macabre consequences of this form. Would I have traded the ease that had accompanied me until now if it meant I’d never have experienced a magnetism as strong as the sweet scent that lingered just beneath the Masen boy’s frail skin? Would I have chosen to struggle more the entirety of my existence if it meant I’d have avoided the ferocity of that moment in my suddenly not so banal biology class? Maybe I would have.

This must be some kind of punishment from some god somewhere. Why else would I experience such effortlessness only to be met with an unendurable, unassailable call to reject everything good about my existence? I never gave much thought to religion in either of my lives. I suppose that after I’d been changed, it’d seem like a far more interesting subject because what could be the implications of an existence such as mine? Did my being a monster provide more validity to the existence of a god? If mythological evil creatures plagued the earth, then couldn’t a supernatural deity who created the universe exist as well? Or did my being a monster provide evidence that there was no god – because who could create such a despicable creature?

It had been far more evocative a topic to Carlisle who had spent much of his life after his transformation pondering these questions, but in all truthfulness, it never bothered me much. I adjusted well to this life. I understood why I was changed and didn’t long for my humanity the way some of my other family members did. Of course, I hated the risk I posed to human life, but my conscience felt clear as my record remained clean. I never endured any self loathing for what I was.

Only now did I question myself. Only now did I wrestle with the ramifications of my immortality. Only now did I feel in its entirety – I had experienced strong desires for human blood before but never like this – the true shame of lusting for the end to someone’s precious life. Only now did I truly feel like the monster I was.

I was finally recognizing the wrongness within me.

I was mistaken to feel resentful and angry with the human boy. He did not make me this way. I had always been this way. I had just been blind to the fact for all these years. I had been naive.

He was entirely innocent and deserving of the life he would live. One where his future would not be stolen in a high school biology classroom as his body emptied. One where he would graduate and go on to better schools. One where he would have a successful job in something he was interested in that provided him with purpose. One where he would meet someone smart and kind. One where he would marry, have a family, and grow old surrounded by his progeny.

I suddenly experienced a strange sensation. A feeling I hadn’t felt in years – jealousy. Though I’d never envied a human before, I envied the possibilities this boy had. I never mourned the choices that were no longer available to me. I graduated countless times. I held countless jobs. I felt fulfilled in providing to the world with our philanthropy and loving my family. In that, I found purpose. I didn’t care to have children.

But did I care to experience romantic love?

I loved romance, but I never minded that it was unattainable to me beyond the pages of a novel. I’d met other vampires, but were the odds in my favor to find a soulmate amongst such a rare kind? I didn’t think so, and I was fine with that. I was happy in my solitude. At times, I was the odd one out in my coupled-off family, but I had often felt like the odd one out in my previous life. It wasn’t a new experience, so I never cared. But in thinking of this human boy’s life, free of monsters, free of me, I came to the realization that unlike myself, he could have anyone he wanted. He was not bound by anything other than maybe his own inhibitions. He had the luxury of choice in every aspect of his life but also in love. He had simply the luxury of love itself.

Why were these thoughts coming to me now? I had so much time to ponder my existence, and suddenly this encounter had me incomprehensibly considering inessential things.

I take back my previous feelings about the boy’s innocence. He is stupid and culpable. He’s inspiring stupidity in me.

He’s very fortunate that I have a conscience. I could just as easily murder him in irritation of the havoc his existence is inflicting on my life.

I refocused my thoughts on the scenery before me, longing for the previous morning where I watched the verdant motion of the trees outside the car window after Emmett’s silly destruction of the novel I still had yet to fix. Somehow, it seemed like a long time ago.

In that memory, I eventually found a small moment of peace again.

No painted eyes could haunt me here.

And yet, I was left with a sense of uneasiness, feeling as if my life thus far had been a long exposition, and I had just encountered the inciting incident. I was feeling – though I’d been irrevocably altered once before – as if something would soon change me forever.

we all know stubborn bella wouldn’t yeet herself to alaska like edward’s dramatic ass. hope y’all enjoy hehe <3

[theyilinglaozus]

So, I’m fully planning on returning to my Wei Wuxian in every episode gif ... series? exercise? challenge? I’m not sure what I’m calling it right now, honestly. 

But I’m also a little curious; after both my Moody Blues and Pink Floyd lyric gifsets, would people be interested if I made others in a similar style? So far I have a vague idea for one other, so I’m not sure how many I’d actually end up making, but I’m curious to know if others out there would like to see more?  🥺 👉👈

[bobdylanrevisited]

Love And Theft

Released: 11 September 2001

Rating: 10/10

If there’s one thing Bob Dylan knows, it’s how to follow up a masterpiece with an even better album. This is a phenomenal record, it combines all the things Bob does best: poetic lyrics, a range of musical genres, a growling voice, and an incredibly interesting atmosphere that lingers over the whole album. I adore this record, it deserves to be spoken of as highly as ‘Highway 61 Revisited’ or ‘Blood On The Tracks’, and again proves that Bob was as prolific and trailblazing in his 60s as he was in the 1960s. (As per my last post, I will not address the ‘plagiarism’ claims here, as I feel they are baseless and reductive)

1. Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Dee - This is a great introduction to Bob’s new sound, a mix of country, rockabilly, and nostalgia. Bob’s really come into his ‘old man voice’ and the band are completely in sync. The lyrics themselves are a bit forgettable, but this fast paced opener is just effortlessly performed.

2. Mississippi - Originally an outtake from ‘Time Out Of Mind’, this is a stunningly beautiful song. The melancholy seeps out out every word and note, with Bob again acting through his voice and delivery, to portray a defeated man reminiscing and analysing his life. The music itself is surprisingly uplifting and almost at odds with the subject of the song, but it completely works. This is one of many perfect tracks on the album, and Bob’s songwriting is still untouchable.

3. Summer Days - If you had to guess, you’d say this song is from the 1950s, not 2001. A brilliant throwback, with some fantastic guitar and a great performance by Bob channelling an old blues legend. It may not be the most memorable song on the album, but it’s never a chore to hear.

4. Bye And Bye - A much more relaxed song, with a lovely musical arrangement. The lyrics are filled with happiness, and there is a great bridge that adds an interesting edge to the track. Bob’s wistful singing fits nicely, and this is just an enjoyably cheerful song.

5. Lonesome Day Blues - Perhaps an antithesis to the previous track, this is a rugged and harsh song, from the guitar licks to Bob’s gruff delivery. The song is your classic blues affair, lyrics of being rejected and mourning, but the whole song still sounds fresh and Bob always has an interesting take on the classics.

6. Floater (Too Much To Ask) - Yet another perfect track, and everything here works flawlessly. The lyrics are poetic and tell a brilliant story, but the main focus here should be on the band. The whole arrangement fills me with joy, it sounds like they’ve been playing together for centuries, and every note and instrument compliments one another and the atmosphere of the track. I could go on, but just know that this is a genius composition and all involved are at the top of their game.

7. High Water (For Charley Patton) - Not only is this the highlight of the album, it’s one of the highlights of Bob’s entire career. His way with words, creating a mood and describing an America rooted in history and mythology, are completely unmatched in both music and literature. I cannot express how perfect this track is, from the opening ‘cowboy’ sounding guitar and banjo, to Bob’s moody and haunting delivery, this is a song from both a forgotten era and yet is also somehow ahead of its time. Just listen to it on repeat, it’s fucking unbelievable.

8. Moonlight - Another slower track, with some lovely guitar and bass, and a sweet and tender Bob, almost foreshadowing is crooner turn in the following years. A great love song that is infinitely calming and romantic.

9. Honest With Me - Once again, a slower track is followed by one that sounds like a thunderstorm of guitars rolling down Highway 61. This is another song that sounds like it’s challenging you to a fight. Bob is hard as nails, the lyrics are darker, and the whole arrangement is electrified. Like the rest of the album, it’s fantastic.

10. Po’ Boy - Slowing down again, I adore this song. The lyrics are poignant and also quite funny, and for me this is Bob’s best singing on the whole record. The finger picked guitar adds an interesting layer of intimacy to the song, and all this adds up to one of my most revisited tracks from the album, and some of Bob’s most enjoyable writing from this period.

11. Cry A While - Another throwback, which blends together a few different genres and tempos, creating an incredibly interesting and ever-changing song. The lyrics are, once again, a bit of a downer (not that that’s a bad thing) but the way the band seamlessly switch up their playing is both impressive and a testament to their unrivalled talent.

12. Sugar Baby - The closing track is maybe my least favourite song, which is no bad thing as I still really enjoy it. It returns to the melancholic mood of the earlier part of the album, and is a simple arrangement with Bob growling about the past and regret. It’s still a beautiful track, and perhaps I only regard it a bit lower than the rest of the record as I know it means I’ve reached the end of one of the best albums of the 21st Century.

Verdict: It’s fairly obvious that I completely adore this record and cannot recommend it highly enough. The album may have been somewhat overlooked due to its unfortunate release date, and Bob’s late career is often ignored due to the heights of his earlier work, but this is a perfect record that shows he hadn’t slowed down or lost his touch by any means. This album goes straight into his top 10, and a handful of tracks are among his greatest achievements in songwriting and musical composition. Following this, Bob waited another 5 years before releasing yet another masterpiece, and continuing his incredible critical and artistic resurgence.

[dltndvs]

Lee Sooyeon on first full-length album ‘you=i’, love, and her favourite Taylor  Swift song.

what’s the meaning of you=i? 

you equals to i. very grammatically incorrect, but i preferred the way ‘i’ looked over me.

is the theme of the album similar to the meaning?

yeah, actually! i can’t believe you asked-- i figured i was going to have to somehow work this into the conversation. didn’t get to how i was going to do that, but [laughs]. this album is split into the me, or ‘i’, who met love and ‘you’. it’s definitely an album about love, though it doesn’t necessarily have to be interpreted as a love story between two separate people, but also a journey to self-love.

elaborate more on the ‘you’ and ‘i’?

on the tracklist, the first 5 tracks are ‘i’-- side a, while the other 6 tracks are depicting the story after i’ve met ‘you’. the ‘i’ is definitely much more moody and melancholic than what anybody’d expect of me, i think, but it’s very much me. june actually cried when i let her have the first listen! ‘you’ is much more hopeful, and something that i think is very much needed after the ‘i’ tracks.

what’s your take on the story, and a brief explanation about each of the tracks?

as always, i want to leave enough up to the listener’s interpretation, whether it’s a love story or one where you find love within yourself.

workaholic is a new sound for me, but a challenge that i really enjoyed taking on. the mood and lyrics are more sombre than all of my previous releases, and i think the fact that it’s the lead single on my album is a little bit unexpected. i wrote this with the mindset of both lee sooyeon as well as an everyday salaryman. the song’s very straightforward. 

hard to love is actually the only song that’s really explicitly about a breakup, but it’s shrouded in a lot of self-blame. the korean title’s 나만 안되는 연애, which means a love that only i can’t have. there’s a line-- ‘it’s like i’m the only one living in a world like this.’ that i think is super heartbreaking. i actually got most of this done in one take, and when i was done with that one, someone in the studio asked me ‘who HURT you like that?’

to my youth is…i think everyone goes through times of sadness, where they need to both know that they’re not alone, but also to be comforted, and so i just felt like this was a track that very much needed to be released.

rest and as i am are both english tracks-- they both talk about wanting to be free and deciding to put down a lot of the expectations and living as you please. it’s sort of a bridge and warms you up for the ‘you’ tracks, while still being sonically cohesive. 

number 6, the grand dreams, is where it starts picking up. it’s a very warm sort of song that’s ‘as beautiful as a fairy tale’, and talks about being a main character in the story being told. the rest of the tracks are all really just about falling in love with the ‘you’ that the listener has met; whether that be someone else or yourself! 

bye bye my blue talks about loving someone so much you want to be bigger, be better for them in order to embrace them warmly, which is a very sweet sentiment to me-- the desire to change and to want to better yourself because you love someone. of course, sometimes you plateau and stagnate for a bit. your ocean’s about asking your lover for forgiveness and understanding-- to be kind to you as you work on yourself. it also reminds you about the love they have for you. 

bunny and lovelovelove are similar; english tracks that depict a love story with its own ups and downs. love’s something that always has to be worked on, and a choice you have to consciously make, whether it’s to love yourself every single day, or decide to love your significant other’s shortcomings. 

hold my hand is… yeah, it’s definitely a love song. it talks about wanting to be brave and pursue the love that you want. i think the composer of the song actually spoke more about it on a livestream.

what’s your creative process like? how was it like working on this album? 

i originally planned to release the ‘i’ tracks as a mini-album. i’d worked on the songs before, during and after my first hiatus. i was going through a really tough time, which i do… think come off in the lyrics. they’re all very personal; i actually took a few days to record ‘to my youth’, because i would just get too emotional and end up crying while in the booth. i honestly don’t think i’d have been able to do it without my best friend and producer, ash kwon. 

the ‘you’ tracks are all written, um, after september 2019? i spent a lot of my time off writing songs. not being able to sing and perform was what made me realise i wanted to do it forever, and so i just kept writing and writing like crazy. 

hold my hand was written by monroe-- the minute i was done listening to the guide, i just kind of went ‘okay, well, where are the lyrics, how soon can i get into the studio to record this?’ he’s a very talented person whose artistry i really respect, and it’s really amazing that i got to sing a song made by him. 

bunny was done in one-take in my home studio-- like, what you hear on the record’s the first take. i was just sitting down and it was not meant to be a super serious take, but for some reason, i got super into it? was reading the lyrics off my phone while i sang, and i actually was holding back laughter pretty much the entire last minute. failed very spectacularly during one of the ‘i’m your bunny’s, but it sounded good so we just left it in.

you mentioned that square (2017) was one of the first ever songs you’d written-- what’s changed in the 4 years since?

i was much younger in 2017, and when i wrote that, i was feeling very alone? i’ve always thought that i was sort of a complicated person personality-wise, and when i first started writing the lyrics, it was sort of an impossible hope for my future; to have someone be able to know, and fully understand and love me, which i didn’t think would happen. i was and still am someone who really wants to be loved, and i want to think that i’m doing my best to love and be loved now, which is really all there is to it, right?

the song was incomplete for the longest time, and it was only this year that i wrote a bridge that i actually liked enough to put into the song. my personal favourite lyrics are ‘you’re the only one who saw my yesterday, the one who knows i’m here alive, today.’ while the entire song talks about having someone who can comfort and be there for you, ‘my yesterday’ versus ‘i’m here alive, today’-- someone who’s seen the you who’s not reallty you yesterday but also the you that’s alive today and loves you just as much.

what’s your favourite taylor swift song?

new year’s day! i think my views towards love are very reminiscent in my songs. there’s a line from a show i recently watched that really stuck with me: ‘if soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made. people meet, they get a good feeling, and they get to work building a relationship.’

it’s like, sure, there’s the glitz and glam and it’s nice and all that you’re with me when i’m the toast of the town, but to be with you in the resulting aftermath… yeah. i want someone who picks up the pieces with me. someone who stays even when we’re making mistakes, because that’s realistic, right? both the pretty and the ugly. there isn’t a perfect relationship, and i think the right person is someone who wants to work as hard as you do to build a good one.

what’s next for you?

i’d like to go home and nap. [laughs] a cold can of beer first, maybe. definitely more self-written and produced music. i’ve got a lot more up my sleeve.

[rae-gar-targaryen]

only as alone as i wanna be | [bh]

A/N: Well instead of working on my Peter Parker writing challenge fic, Billy Hargrove won’t leave my brain alone. So here we go. 

I’ve retconned the Billy & Max relationship a bit for this, so it’s a lil au. Sorry!

Please let me know if you think I should continue!

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x fem!Reader (I’m still trying to get the hang of writing for the “reader.” Hopefully this is vague enough that you can imagine yourself. If not, send me feedback so I can get better!) 

Warnings: Language. Passing, vague mentions of sex. Some Billy Hargrove chain-smoking. Bad writing with a jumpy plot. Seriously, I think I’m way too abrupt. Please send feedback. This one is probably doomed for a re-write. 

Word Count: 2.4k of nonsensical, self-important musical references and haphazard, fleeting feelings.

Summary: The snarky record store girl does not like Billy Hargrove. Not at all. 

**NOT MY GIF!** 

—

Winter, 1984

The bell dinged above the door, a jarring interval between the wistful tones of Siouxsie and the Banshees’ Take Me Back. Prompting you to look up from your stack of records in mild annoyance. It had been such a productive day until now, and the vinyl wasn’t going to restock itself. 

Well. 

Had you known Mr. Born-In-The-USA-Bruce-Springsteen himself was going to walk in, you would’ve played something far less his taste than Siouxsie. Just to annoy him. Serves him right, right? 

He paused in the doorway of the shop, wrinkling his nose almost imperceptibly as the sound hit his ears, before striding on toward the “Pop/Rock” section of the store, thumbing his way through Motley Crue’s latest.

Figures, you thought. A man who douses himself with as much commercial-ass hairspray and cologne would like some commercial-ass garbage “metal.” Besides, you’d walked past the blue Camaro enough times in the school parking lot to hear the dulcet tones of whatever bland-ass hair metal he was currently into trying its best to blast the doors off of his beloved metal steed. 

You felt a twinge of guilt. You shouldn’t judge the customers for their musical taste so quickly– but between the old church ladies who came in for Handel’s Messiah or whatever they had heard over public radio that week, and the girls from your class riffing on Madonna, you had had just about enough. 

Hadn’t anyone experienced the true depth of Queen? Keep Yourself Alive, man!

You had been working at Hawkins’ local record store during the summers since childhood – Old Mr. Cohen who owned the place used to let you sort tapes into piles for cents on the hour until you were old enough for a real job. Immersed in the music since a young age, you appreciated the breadth and depth the shop had to offer– your favorites developing into pieces heavy on synth. Bonus points if the lyrics made you feel especially existential. You loved that moody shit. 

Now, at 17, you practically ran the place, Mr. Cohen comfortable with leaving you to your devices at the store, so long as the till was counted and inventory was properly stocked. You were grateful for the freedom– squeezing homework into slow nights and chatting about deeper portions of discography with regulars.

Billy Hargrove was not a regular. Neither did he promise a slow night, if the rumors amongst your female classmates were to be believed. Not that you partook in the Hawkins High rumor mill. 

He was a recent, but obtrusive, arrival in your high school’s social scene. Mere months into his appearance in your town and the age-in-kind female population had seemingly lost their brain cells faster than inhaling their usual clouds of hairspray could do it for them. 

Still, you had to admit, he was good-looking. The Springsteen comparison was apt. Billy Hargrove wore jeans like he was doing the denim a favor. His shirts usually two-thirds of the way unbuttoned, even in winter, which was not an unkind sight. His sun-kissed, California boy skin stood a stark contrast to the pallor of the Indiana natives you grew up with. His eyes were crystalline and swam like oceans of trouble and broken promises. 

My god. You were a moody-ass bitch. Waxing poetic about this jock-strap of a human being who you’d heard pummelled Steve Harrington and nearly drowned himself in beer and barely-legal pussy. Come on, babe. Get it together.

He strode up to you at the counter, his boots clunking against the store’s tiled floor. Shout at the Devil was clutched in his fist. 

He dropped the vinyl on the counter, eyes cast down and swiping a cigarette out of the packet in his jacket pocket and lighting up, the clink-thwip of his lighter meeting your ears before you could tell him to put it out. 

“You can’t do that in here,” you told him. 

He hummed in not-acknowledgment-acknowledgment, choosing to ignore you as he inhaled deeply.

“Seriously, dude. Old man Cohen hates that shit. Put it out or go outside and finish it. If your tits don’t freeze off. Since they’re, you know, halfway out of your shirt like that? You do know it’s December. In Indiana. Right?” You pressed, knowing full well you were being obnoxious. If only to make a point. Game recognize game, right? 

He looked up, ocean eyes meeting your own. His frown was instantaneous. 

“Fine,” he huffed. Before promptly stubbing out his cigarette on your freshly wiped counter, dropping the butt to the floor and twisting it under his booted heel.

“Ugh. Come on, man. I have to clean that now.” 

“You were so adamant about it before.” 

“Whatever man. Just the Motley Crue for you today?” You pressed. Why is he prolonging this interaction?

He rolled his eyes, his line of sight catching on the promotional sign above the counter. 

“Well, now, that says new vinyl is two for one. Which one can I get with this?” 

You dropped your head and exhaled deeply– So this was how this evening was going to go. You gestured at the New Release wall to the left of the front counter. 

“Anything from here, Pretty Boy. New vinyl.” 

Cool as you please, if you please.

Billy glanced at you, sensing your annoyance. A smirk graced his lips. He knew if he prolonged this interaction it would surely get a rise out of you.  

He held up Burning From the Inside, Bauhaus’s latest release. New, but not new.

“What about this one? Cover art is alright.” He gestured at the gothica aesthetic adorning the front jacket.

“That’s Bauhaus,” you informed him, as though that would explain everything.

“Bauhaus? What is that?” 

You snorted. 

“No, seriously. What is that? Is that like … a sex thing?” he asked, derisively. 

“It’s not a sex thing. It’s more of a not-your-kind-of-thing thing,” you stated primly. 

“And how would you know what my thing is, princess? I’m guessing by the black-on-black and torn fishnets you’d be all to familiar with whatever a Bauhaus is,” he retorted.

“Well….” You went to the used pile and grabbed Press Eject and Give Me the Tape, before putting it over the speakers. As Bela Lugosi’s Dead started to play throughout the store, Billy looked unamused. 

“They broke up last year. Gone too soon,” you explained, wistfully. You put your hand over your heart as though in mourning. 

He leaned one arm on the counter, Motley Crue seemingly long forgotten. 

“So, what is this song?”

“Bela Lugosi’s Dead? Like, Stairway to Heaven, but for goths, I guess,” you reasoned. “I’m guessing you’re more of a Scorpions kind of guy? We have Love At First Sting,” you gestured vaguely toward the wall. 

Billy quirked an eyebrow at you. 

“And how would you know what kind of guy I am, princess?” His voice lowering as he leans even further over the counter.

“Um. If the female population at our school is to be believed? Well, you get it…” you trailed off. “Plus, I don’t know, have you looked in a mirror lately? Scratch that. You probably don’t stop looking in mirrors. Should I cover the reflective surfaces in the store, lest you get distracted?” 

Billy at least had the decency to look shocked at your barb. 

But not before recovering quickly. 

“Maybe you just cover the reflective surfaces in here to hide the fact that you don’t have a reflection,” he quipped.

You were stunned. Your eyes widened.

“Was that a– vampire joke, Hargrove?”

Billy shrugged. “Well, If the post-punk bullshit shoe fits… I mean, what even is playing over the speakers right now? I’m in here enough to know Cohen lets his employees pick the music from the Used pile during their shifts. Though clearly I don’t come in often enough during your shifts.”

“Thank God for that,” you sighed. 

Deciding he’d had enough of the banter, Billy snagged Black Flag’s latest off of the New Release wall. 

“Two for one, right?” he snarked, slapping down enough cash for one album before grabbing his findings off of the counter and striding out into the wintery evening– the bell over the door clanging after him for good measure. Like an exclamation point on whatever the ever loving fuck that conversation was. Did you— offend him??

You decided, sweeping up the not-forgotten ash from his cigarette off the floor that you didn’t ever need to have an interaction with Billy Hargrove again. You were most decidedly not post-punk bullshit.

–

Billy Hargrove had never been so ruffled in all of his life. 

Throwing the two vinyl sleeves down in the passenger seat of his beloved Camaro, he slammed the door behind him.

Clink-Thwip.

Billy lit up, the chemical rush of his deep inhale-exhale instantly soothing his frazzled nerves. 

He flicked the lid of his lighter a few more times, for good measure. A nervous habit. Clink-Thunk. Clink-Thunk. Clink-Thunk. 

“ ‘Never stop looking in a mirror,’ my ass,” he grumbled, meeting his eyes in the rear-view before realizing what he was doing and looking away. 

He’d seen that girl before. She sat alone in the cafeteria most times, headphones on, reading a book. She seemed like the type to enjoy Slyvia Plath. Not that he knew enough about Slyvia Plath to really know what that type of girl was. He swore his mom owned a coverworn copy of some novel or another with that name on it. 

He drove away, tires squealing behind him, hair metal blasting from his speakers. Okay, so maybe you’d been right about his musical taste. It’s not like he’d give you the satisfaction. Besides, he’d bought BLACK FLAG, for Christ’s sake. You didn’t know him. 

But still, he couldn’t deny, there was something about your demeanor. Your witticism. Your bad type. And yeah, maybe he’d sneaked a peek at your ass when you came around from the counter to scold him for smoking. Sue him, he was only human. 

He knew there was more to you. A sweet undertone– like peaches and cream. Also maybe he liked ruffling your proverbial feathers. Just maybe. 

He had asked Tommy about you at school the next day. 

Tommy shrugged, but not before looking over at the corner of the cafeteria where you sat. 

“I don’t know man. She’s hot. But, like, in the way weird girls are hot. You can look, but touching may cost you.” 

Billy didn’t know what that meant. But Tommy was literally too stupid to insult. So he bit back a comment effectuating that he didn’t care and slammed the rest of his can of Coke. 

–

You had seen him before. From his tire-squealing entry into your town, you were certain you’d had him pegged from Jump Street. The chain-smoking, that infernal clink-twhip of his American Flag lighter. The keg stands. The raucous screaming in Steve Harrington’s face.

“Plant your feet, Harrington!”

Plant your feet indeed. Lest you be bowled over with unwanted, obtrusive thoughts of the potential depths of Billy Hargrove’s soul. If such a thing existed.

Seriously, though. Why would he buy a Black Flag album? If there was one thing Billy Hargrove was not, you decided, it was punk rock. 

You’d seen him take his sister to the arcade, and wait for her after school. Was it brotherly affection that motivated these little Babysitter’s Club moments, or was he forced to? Still, you saw the way that girl on the skateboard looked up at her seemingly cool older brother. Like he hung the stars. 

He did brush off Tina after the basketball game last week. And, he bought Black Flag. That man had never listened to Black Flag in all of his life. You were sure of it.

Could he really be all bad? 

–

The semester pressed on. Billy Hargrove at the fringe of your thoughts and your eye-line. Was he trying to talk to you in school?

You had the closing shift at the store again on Saturday. You were in the midst of carrying a box of tapes up the stairs from the storage room when you heard the ding of the bell above the door. You sighed, put the box down, and made your way toward the front to greet the customer. Upon seeing the back of Billy Hargrove’s perfectly coiffed, curly head, you were ready to turn back around and act like you hadn’t seen him. Too late. He clearly knew you were working. 

“Please don’t let it be you,” you groaned. 

“No promises, dollface.” 

You stood in front of him, hands on your hips. 

“So? What can I do for you?”

Billy smirked. “I can think of a few things, sweetheart,” he drawled, quirking a perfectly arched brow just so. You hated that you now noticed these things about Billy Hargrove’s perfectly stupid and stupidly perfect face. 

“I don’t have time for this, Pretty Boy.” 

“When are you off?” He asked.

“After close,” you said. 

“Go out with me.” Billy Hargrove said, now surely unsure of himself.

“And why in the ever-loving-fuck would I do that?” You had to hand it to yourself. You were doing a damn good job of looking like you didn’t care. Meanwhile, your insides were pudding and you were just sure he knew it, too.

“Because you want to. Because I want you to. Because– Because I want to. Because I listened to Black Flag. Because I get your whole thing, plaid skirt and all,” he stated, gesturing vaguely over your person. 

You rolled your eyes, choosing not to answer him. Instead, you diverted. Diversion is good, right?

“Where’s your usual crowd of hairsprayed hangers-on? Or are you always alone after school?”

“Only as alone as I wanna be, doll,” He drawled. 

You’d had to hand it to Billy Hargrove. He could definitely turn a phrase when he wanted to. His crystalline eyes could definitely see right through you. As the flush travelled through your body, taking in his artful smirk and powerful visage, you knew:

Billy Hargrove was going to be the death of you. Like the satisfyingly sweet pour of languid waves of syrup cascading over waffles, drowning you in a beautiful, thick avalanche of a saccharine dream. A powdered sugar kiss dusting over your better senses, coating them in the flush of dripping endearment. 

Surely you could be alone together? The crystal ball and the odyssey. 

Would you go?

tagging bc you inspire me:

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