#moonlight dims [ooc]

[genshxn]

guess who wants to (honkai: star) rail another dragon man. there is also (un)fortunately no (star) railing in this.

written pre 1.3 so i’m making shit up for now. (this is also full of vidyadhara headcanons)

in which you find dan heng unable to sleep, you have an awkward conversation, and then he becomes somewhat dragon-brained. twice.

4.2K words (lmao this is way longer than i meant it to be)

you’re not the trailblazer, just another laddie aboard the express.

btw, i bullshited a good chunk of the dialogue and events, so apologies if this is shite. i might've also committed character vehicular manslaughter, in that he might be ooc. lol fingers crossed it's aight.

part 2’s finally up if you wanna read it here

despite the quiet of the night, you had drifted from your sleep. it had been painfully light as of recent, leaving you adrift in the shallows while you’d toss and turn for a comfortable position. could you really be blamed though? yes, the looming threat of phantylia had been taken out, and everyone from the express that went aboard the luofu had been reunited after what felt like weeks. but you were still in the thick of an intricate web of chaos. the threats were far from over, not with the stellaron still active. but at least for now, you had enough time in this brief respite to be able to not fucking sleep.

you rolled over. you were more or less itching with restlessness, sighing to yourself quietly over your woes of no sleep. you rose from your mussed bed and hobbled out of the room. it was a quaint little place—where you had stayed when it was just the express crew (minus dan heng), when you'd first met tingyun. after that, everything happened like a landslide. memories of her sudden death quickly boiled their way up. with each step you took, you stamped them back down again.

out in the small hallway, you made your way towards the small courtyard out the back. as you walked past the other rooms, you were a little jealous at the sounds of others sleeping. from mr. yang's and march’s respective rooms was the odd, soft snore. from stelle’s room, there was nothing (which was to be expected, as you often found her out messing with the cycrane systems at night). as you walked past dan heng’s room, you were expecting more silence—which you were of course met with, but also a slitted door. you peered through into the darkness. from the dim hallway light, it seemed he had also tried and failed at sleep if his abandoned, nest-like sheets were anything to go by.

you continued to the courtyard. once you cracked open the door, you were met with an unexpected sight. moonlight caught on the black, silken strands that spilt down his back. a glassy, teal tail coiled around his feet, almost glinting in the light with each of its subtle movements. dan heng, wearing his simple night clothes of old, baggy slacks and a tight, black tank top. his ears twitched as you slid the door open further. when you stepped onto the stone tiles, he cast you an over-shoulder glance—a new habit he’d picked up recently.

"can’t sleep either?" you asked him softly, approaching from behind. 

the only response he gave was a strained groan, dragging a hand over his face.

"i take that as a no, then," you said, moving over to sit in another stool at the small table just next to him. as you went past, his tail wound tighter around the foot of his seat. 

"i take it that it’s the same for you," he muttered in reply, jade eyes cast somewhere on the ground between him and you. 

"yep." you leaned against the table next to you, arm propping up your head. your eyes flickered to his face. "and not because i’ve been up playing gacha games."

he briefly met your gaze, eyebrows quirked in doubt.

"okay, i don’t do it anywhere near as much as stelle." 

"right," he said with the faintest hint of a smile. the tip of his tail twitched in amusement. "her room was very quiet when i walked past, though. perhaps she’s mended her ways." 

"i think she’s out screwing with the cycranes instead, actually." 

"of course she is," he breathed as he raked a hand through his long hair. as you watched it pass through the delicate tresses, you stared intently at his claws. after his initial transformation, to say you were floored was an understatement. perhaps more like you were punched 50,000 feet below sea level. he could really only be described as beautiful, but even that word couldn’t quite capture his ethereality. even when he was as exhausted as he looked now, he still seemed to glow—quite literally, too. his eyes and those horns atop his head shone faintly in the dark. when someone was that pretty, how could one not be reduced to a staring fool? particularly you.  as of recent, you’ve ended up forgetting you’re supposed to actually talk to him when he’s with you. and if you did remember to ever say anything, you’d make a fool of yourself. 

he watched your gaze affixed to his hands. he took one look at them and then wrung them in his lap, looking off to the side with an unreadable emotion in his eyes. 

"ah, i’m sorry—" you began, but he quickly cut you off. 

"it’s fine," he said hurriedly, tail coiling up tighter.

"no, really. i know i’ve been acting pretty weir—" 

"i said it’s fine. please, just leave it." he said again. he unwound himself just a little, but the tense line of his shoulders still had yet to dissipate. his gaze wandered a little more back towards you. "may i ask what’s keeping you up?" 

you weren’t thrilled at the spontaneous topic change, but replied nonetheless. "just about everything, i guess. a lot’s been going on. it’s hard to take any time to rest with a stellaron still effectively looming overhead," you said. "though i could only imagine it’s about that, but tenfold for you, given the whole..." you gestured vaguely to his whole new look. 

he dragged a hand down his face, rubbing his sleepy eyes in the process. "i don’t want to think about the stellaron for now…"

"agreed. shall we put a pin in that topic, then?"

"that would be ideal."

the two of you sat in more silence. you were (only half) guiltily back to staring at his features, eyes running over all parts of him. he seemed to shrink under your gaze, ears and tail twitching with thought. his eyes drifted up to look at you—oh, there was something new. his pupils must dilate or constrict based on what he was looking at. when his eyes met yours, you could have sworn they momentarily expanded, until his eyes flickered away again, waning right back to slits. at the same time, his ears angled themselves down just a touch. 

"a—are you feeling okay?" you asked, tilting your head a little. he made a small groan and shelled further into himself. you didn’t think you had ever seen him that tense. "hey, look at me. are you alright?" your voice was as soft as you could make it. you tried to reach out to the arm he had leaning on the table, but it was in vain. he inched away moments before contact.

"i—" his tail-tip continued to flicker with apprehension. 

"well, something else is definitely bothering you. can you talk to me about it?"

"m-must i?" he was almost hiding his face.

"only if you want to," you shuffled yourself a little closer to him. "but if it’s weighing this much on you, it may make you feel a little lighter. so you can sleep. y’know." while you spoke, you gestured somewhat vaguely. ever since his vidyadhara heritage was put on full display, he hadn’t quite been the same as you knew him. he was more tense than usual. on-edge and anxious, preoccupied with his own thoughts, much unlike the down-to-earth dan heng you normally knew. it worried you. he wasn’t even really speaking to mr. yang. with everything that had been going on, you could barely begin to imagine what sort of turmoils he had churning within him. 

"i suppose one thing is that i’m simply not used to this form," he ran a clawed, slender finger up from the base of his horn to the tip. "there’s a strange disparity between feeling like i’ve known myself to be like this my whole existence, but also that i’m suddenly someone i’m not." as he spoke, his voice was quiet. "in a similar vein, it’s like my tail has a mind of its own. look at it," he grumbled while he picked it up into his lap. as he held it bundled in his arms, the tip hung over the side, twitching to and fro. "i’m not trying to make it do that. i can’t control it." he sighed, a slight growl in his throat. 

"wouldn’t it do that because you’ve been so… frazzled, as of recent?" 

"what makes you think that?" 

"um…" how were you supposed to tell him that you only had that theory because you had been constantly stealing glances of him, watching his moods, watching his languid beauty. instead, you thought of some other bullshit answer. "i mean, it’d make sense, wouldn’t it? it’s like cats. their tails twitch when they’re irritated, and i’m sure they can’t quite control it." 

he frowned a little, ears twitching downward. "i’m not a cat," he said, almost with a little pout. 

maybe not, but he was certainly cute like one. "anyway, what you said about your new features…" you began, scratching the back of your head. to your surprise, he looked at you with eyes just a little wider than normal. "i could only imagine how weird it must be for you… who am i kidding, no i couldn’t. it’s probably downright foreign, but you’re dan heng. i’m sure you’ll have it under control in no time." 

with his hands on his knees, he aimlessly grabbed at fistfuls of his loose pants. "you…" he muttered, wetting his lips as he swallowed thickly once again. 

"me?" you echoed quietly.

"forgive me for asking something so asinine, but… what… do you think?" as he muttered out the words, you could have sworn his face was turning a light shade of pink. however, it was hard to tell under only the moon and the dim lights of the courtyard. what you could tell was that his tail-tip was twitching like a bundle of nerves.

you stared at him with owlish eyes. "what do i think of what?" 

"what do you think of… me. as i am now?" 

your breath caught in your throat for a moment as he stared at you with such apprehensive eyes. they were slitted from nerves, but they shone with the moonlight, expectation and most curiously, some sort of hope. "um…"

"i’ve noticed how much you stare at me, yet you said nothing when you first saw me, unlike mr. yang or march. now, you feel almost stilted when you’re with me, like you refuse to address what’s in front of you." 

you swallowed hard at his words. "didn’t stelle also not…" you trailed off. you were doing it again, what he quite literally just said. 

"i’ve spoken to her since then. i’m asking you." he seemed to have regained a little confidence, sitting up straighter and looking at you with the slightest bit more intensity.

now it was your turn to grab at fistfuls of your clothes. you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt as you spoke, heart pounding a mile a minute. "you’ve been truthful with me, so i guess i should too," you muttered. "you, ah, um…" this was really not the direction you thought this conversation would go in. "to be really honest with you, i keep staring because you’re so… pretty."

dan heng sat motionless. if it weren’t for his vidyadhara features, he almost could have gotten away with simply being frozen. upon your words, his eyes widened just a fraction, jade-white pupils dilating. his ears twitched back upwards and his tail fell still. heavy moments of silence passed while you two stared at each other. it seemed like he was waiting for you, so you kept talking. "i didn’t speak much to begin with simply because i was so surprised. i mean, we see you again after so long and there you are, just about the most beautiful thing i’d ever seen, suddenly with the power to split an ocean. after that, i didn’t trust myself to not be weird about you, so i… kind of just refused to say anything." you rubbed the back of your neck, face burning. "but i guess that plan fell flat on its face if you noticed me staring so much." 

once you finished speaking, his gaze fell into his lap, gazing down at his hands that held fistfuls of fabric once again. "but… these powers aren’t me." 

"of course not. they’re not you, only a fraction of the whole you," there was a slight smile on your lips. "are you worried that i don’t see you as dan heng anymore?" 

he made no effort to confirm or deny anything, simply remaining as he was—a blatant yes for him. 

a small smile made its way onto your face. "you’re always going to be one and only dan heng that the whole express—that i—know and love, no matter what other forms you take." you shuffled yourself closer to him once again, now finally able to reach out and brush your thumb over the back of his hand. as you sat there, your face was burning up at your words. did you really have to word it like that? if you really wanted to be honest with him, then yes. 

he was still sat ramrod upright, but a blush now dusted his cheeks and his pupils were blown wide. his tail-tip was back to moving, this time wagging back and forth. he looked between you and your hand on his own, letting out a shaky breath. while he was still as nerve-wrecked as could be, a weight on his shoulders seemed to have been lifted. he looked like he was about to say something, but as soon as he opened his mouth, out came a long yawn. even though he tried to hide it with with his wrist, you still managed to catch a glimpse of his fangs. 

"sorry," he muttered, rubbing one of his eyes. “also, you’re still staring."

"ah, i—i’m sorry, i’ve been acting so weird. i—that habit’s not gonna go away any time soon…" you yanked your hands back into your lap. he looked a little disappointed at the new lack of contact. "anyway, how do you think you’ll sleep now?"

"please do not worry about me. what about yourself?" 

"um…" your heart is still pounding in your throat. "i—i don’t know, to be honest." whatever the answer was, it was bound to be ‘not well’.

"in the past, you’ve come to the archives when you haven’t been able to sleep. you’d place yourself on my bed and then ten minutes later, i’d find you fast asleep." his voice was soft when he spoke, almost with a faint note of mirth. "i wouldn’t mind if you…"

your eyes almost fell out of your head. "hold on, are you really—"

"you’re welcome to sleep next to me, if you’d like." 

"like in your room?" 

"where else?" when he stared at you, there wasn’t much obvious emotion on his face, but at the same time, he seemed so earnest with his tail-tip flicking back and forth happily. 

"but i thought you found it annoying when i did that?" 

"only because you'd wake me in the early hours of the morning. truly, i’ve never been opposed to it."

your face prickled with heat as you raked a hand through your hair. "are you sure you’re completely the same dan heng?" 

"hey." he looked miffed. 

"sorry, sorry." you were just about hiding your face in your hands by this point. "i just thought—" before you could finish, he stood up, long tail unwinding from around the seat. he took two steps and then plucked you off of your own chair. as you yelped in shock, he flopped you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “hey, what’re you—?!" 

"would you stop being so adamant if i say it will help me sleep too?" 

you gave up drumming on his back, only able to hang in embarrassment as you covered your face. your head may as well have been steaming. "wh—what the fuck is this?" 

he made no reply as he marched you back inside. as he walked, you watched his tail-tip as it was curled upwards, swaying from side to side. his room was close—he opened the door with his foot, stepped in and slid it closed again with his tail. as soon as you were properly enclosed, he placed you onto the bed with unexpected gentleness. in the past, if you were causing trouble, his method of dealing with you was hauling you off somewhere and simply dropping you—now, it was the opposite. you were left dazed in the middle of the sheet-nest, only back to your senses once dan heng got in next to you. but instead of settling down for sleep like you anticipated, he was shuffling about on his knees, rearranging the sheets and pillows so they were in a better formation, according to him. he was even using his tail to smooth out the sheets into circular patterns. 

"are you nesting or something?" you asked, bewildered. 

with no reply, he finally settled down further up against the splayed pillows. "come." he held his arms open for you, but when you made no movement, his tail roped you in instead. you were drawn into his not-very-tight vice grip, trapped in next to him. he held you loosely around the waist with clasped hands, head placed atop your leg where he seemed to be using your side like a pillow. his horns poked into your stomach every time he nuzzled... he was really nuzzling you...

"dan heng, seriously, what’s gotten into you?" 

with only a hum, he ceased his movements and craned his head up, staring at you from behind thick lashes. his pupils were still blown wide open. you couldn’t help but find it mildly foreboding. 

"i don’t understand why you’re… so touchy. i thought you were normally allergic to contact?" 

"is it not enjoyable?" he tilted his head. his fluffy hair flopped in his face with his movement. internally, one part of you was screaming YEEEES and crushing beer cans into your forehead, while the other, larger part of you was just plain screaming. you wanted to bask in this shower of attention, but at the same time, it felt so wrong—like he wasn’t really himself. whatever dragon-brain mindfuckery was going on in his head, it was certainly potent. 

"it’s not that, i just… are you sure you’re thinking straight? or do i need to spell out the situation? because you’ve hauled me back to your bed, made a nest around me and are now cuddling me like a pillow."

dan heng blinked once, twice and then his body went rigid. he pushed himself off of you and leapt to the corner of the bed, crouched with his tail once again wound around him. "wh—what was i…?" he looked down at his hands as if they were soaked in blood. his face was flaring red with a blush. 

"you seemed rather convinced i was something like your treasure hoard for a moment," you said.

upon your words, he sank his head in his hands, and whatever noise he made in embarrassment sounded like a groaning sob. "forgive me, i don’t know what came over me…" 

"some kinda vidyadhara instinct?” it was almost like he was trying to court you. 

"something like that," he muttered from behind his hand that now covered his mouth. his gaze was fixed to a random point before him and his ears were down-turned. "i… i’ve never felt it that strong before."

"wait, you’ve felt it befo—?" right before you could finish, his tail silenced you, thwacking itself against your lips. meanwhile, he was hiding his face again. with the way his shoulders hunched, you were worried—he seemed genuinely distressed. it was a miracle he hadn’t run off somewhere by that point. with a concerned frown, you took his tail in hand and spoke again. "hey, um, this might not help whatsoever, but it was actually… rather nice when you did that." you struggled to look at him. if you called it cute like it was, you’d just be blowing whatever chance you had at keeping him in place. 

he looked over at you, ears perked up. his incredulous eyes went as wide as could be, almost like two moons. a moment passed, and the tail in your hands began to sway. "really?"

"really," you nodded. "it was just shocking to begin with, but i—if you want, you can do it again."

dan heng turned his body to face you, swallowing thickly and trying to meet your gaze. he was stuck dithering for a few moments until he ultimately crashed again, flopping forward until his face was flat on the mattress. "i can’t," he muttered, voice muffled. 

"oh, um, why?" your eyes went wide. 

he turned his face to the side, unable to make a coherent reply beyond a strained, squeaky groan. he was still burning hot with a heavy flush, but it was soon covered by his tail that draped itself over his head. "too embarrassing.” 

a small, light laugh slipped from your lips. he coiled further into himself at the sound of it, but he was soon unwound when you had your hands on him, guiding him back up next to you. he was as stiff as could be when he laid down next to you, gaze cast down the other end of the bed. you tucked a stray lock of long hair behind one of his ears. when your touch grazed past him, his pink-tipped ear twitched wildly, and he buried his face into the pillow beneath him. "why don’t you let me do something? you did say this would help you sleep, didn’t you?"

"while i was practically in a daze. i wasn’t thinking right," he complained, voice once again muffled. "this will only keep me awake, if anything." 

"maybe, we’ll see." as you spoke, you took to running your fingers through his long, silky hair. you gathered it up from behind him and brought it forward, draping it over his shoulder. your fingers glided through as though they were passing through a soft mist, fluid and sleek. before long, as you gradually let your hands drift higher until they would pass over his head, he began to decompress. stuttering, held breaths became steady and soft. his nervous-contorted face was dissipating, and his heavy blush was fading to a simple dusting of pink. 

when his eyes fell closed, you glanced up at his horn. beyond just staring at him, you were also tempting fate with how much you wanted to touch his new features. you couldn’t help it though—humans are such curious, tactile creatures, it was simply in your nature. one hand left his hair, which he barely seemed to notice, and inched its way to his horn that threatened to poke you. finally, your fingertip ghosted its surface. it was as smooth as glass, and just as cool to the touch. in fact, you could almost describe it as silky, like his scales. he twitched under your touch, eyes parting open. his pupils were blown wide open again. 

"ah, i’m sorry, i—" you began, but he soon cut you off. 

"no, keep going." he grabbed your hand and placed it back on his horn. you blinked incredulously for a moment, but soon continued as you were, running your fingertips up and down the glassy blue projections. he closed his eyes again and, making yours widen, his soft breaths were followed by a faint rumbling in his chest—a purr. he really was like a cat. 

a few moments later, you felt something long wind its way around your leg. you looked down. his tail was snaking its way up your leg, until the tip draped itself happily over your lap where it laid swishing from side to side. you fell still in shock when he shuffled his body closer to yours until he laid flush against your side. he laid one of his arms across your chest and reached for your shoulder, pulling you in just a little closer to him. 

"you stopped again." his voice was barely a whisper when he leaned his head in the crook of your neck. one of his horns was cool against the back of your neck. 

"it’s a little hard to do anything when you’re this close," you muttered back. 

"then just stay as you are." he nuzzled about with a yawn. he must have been finally settling down for sleep, but that meant using you as a body pillow. your tail-twined leg was drawn towards him, where he draped his own leg over top of it, caging it in between his calves. 

“d-dan heng…” you tried to say his name as if that would do anything, but he paid you no mind. lost in his hypnagogic trance, he only muttered sweet nothings with his lips against your shoulder.

his voice was barely audible. dragon-brain must have been in full swing, because he finished off with a quiet: “you will be mine one day, my beloved…"

you nearly exploded then and there.

i love me some emotive ears, mm yes.

[cherieiu]

; SAY YES TO ME,

sypn. whether he likes it or not, insecurity chased him — you're too much for him, too loving, too caring — he doesn't (does) deserve you. pairing. aventurine x gn!reader notepad. super super short omg i tried my best D:, its vv icky and kinda ooc, for @toorurs (EWW THE BIGGEST ICK OUT THERE VIOLENTLY THROWS UP MAJOR ICKKK) this is so icky ick i'll write more aven as an apology!! reblogs are super duper appreciated!!!

they say, 'to be loved is to be changed', yet the mellow bitterness rests still in his heart, immotile and repulsive. the warm feeling you induce in him nauseates him. your honeyed voice sings him sweet nothings, your fingertips lovingly worship his skin — he doesn't deserve this heaven, he doesn't deserve you. he only taints with every fleeting touch, his opalescent gaze alone filthies you. aventurine sickens himself, you're forced to carry the burden of him (undeserving and of little worth) on your shoulders.

"isn't it tiring?" his voice is hushed, vulnerability seeping through every word. the hem of his shirt is tightly crumpled between the crevices of his hand, the sweet taste of insecurity melted onto his tongue. his shoulder tense with tangible anxiety— a dangerous gamble he's willing to lay his heart vulnerable for.

"aren't i tiring?"

the dim iridescent moonlight blankets your frame and his - you look ethereal, he swallows the words down.

"no! of course not," how the words slip past your candied lips with such ease. the scent of lilac gloss lays heavily in the air and on his lips — the sticky kisses that smear onto his skin, the constant reminder of you.

"you're not lying, are you?" uncertainty laces his voice, "do you promise?"

you nod, pressing candy-like kisses on his pillowy lips with a determination to convince him. "you'd be able to tell if i was," you breathe out, blonde strands tickling your nose.

"it's hard to tell when it's you," his voice painfully aches of longing, for your comfort — the cup he held never overflowed — , satiates his thirst for repeated words with lost meanings. "it's like i can't see through you- just makes it hard to tell," (as if you're a clouded mirror, only with his warmth can he see past the fog) the confession slips past his lips, silently hanging in the air.

you glance up at him with curiousity, "is it? then, can you tell if i love you?"

his breath tenses - do you truly love him? the line between truth and lie blurs, he can't discern the two; if he were a shameless man with nothing left to give, he allows the words to swallow him. with so little left, it wouldn't hurt, would it? — regardless of truth or lie, he's a starved man who'll indulge in this.

"yes, you do," serenity's a sea, it never stills yet he only wishes for this moment to last — may it be a memory he'll run back to in his dreams.

cherieiu 2024 © plagiarism, use of ai, reposting and translation is not permitted.

[multifandoms27-blog]

Alucard feeding off the reader??

Content: Alucard x fem!Reader

Warnings: Blood, vampire feeding

Notes: You didn't specify gender, so I just went with a woman reader. Also apologize if this is ooc, this is my first time writing Alucard. I also got some devastating news about a family member halfway through this which may have clouded my judgement on if this was good enough to publish on the internet

You always liked Alucards fangs. The way they gleamed in the moonlight, the way he'd use them to scare enemies off, the way they'd flash at you when he smiled. He smiled a lot with you. He adored you.

Even after his friends left him, and those twins betrayed him, he found room in his heart to give you a chance, and it evolved into a beautiful relationship where he practically worshipped the ground you walked on.

Two lost souls come to find solace in each others arms, passionately loving each other until the end of time. Alucard felt his love for you grow with each and every day - and so at some point he vowed to never hurt you. That included feeding if he ever needed to, and you appreciated that.

Until tonight.

Alucard hadn't fed off of blood in so long, he began to dim. His normally bright yellow eyes now stuck to the floor, dulled and dark. His bright blond, wavy hair, stopped being washed. He felt sluggish and depressed. He knew not feeding wouldn't kill him, but it made him feel better. But he would never feed off of you, he told himself.

After seeing what no blood does to him, you offered your neck up to his fangs. He vehemently denied your suggestion, but gave in the more you insisted.

Now you lay helpless in your nightgown, your lover crawling over you. The moonlight shining through the window reveals his eyes to you, those dim yellow orbs telling a tale of concern. His hand moves under your chin and slots your head to the side, giving him better access. He looks at you one last time.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." You give him a smile.

He wouldn't feed from you.

But he lowered his head and bit down anyway.

He wouldn't feed from you.

But he drained your blood from you.

He wouldn't feed from you.

But he pulled away, his brightness returned to him, and you winced as he pulled his fangs out of you.

Adrian fought himself the entire time he drained you of your blood, tried to reason with himself that there must be some other way. But Alucard reasoned that you wanted this, liked it even, and who was he to deny you of that?

He looked you over as he pulled away, his mouth and teeth smeared in your blood. "Are you okay?"

"Never been better." You joked, though you now felt weak.

"I'll go get us some things to clean this up with." Alucard carefully moved off of you. "I didn't take too much, did I?"

"No, no. Just grab a cloth or something before my blood gets on your bed." You shooed him off.

Alucard returned with a cloth, a bandage, and some water for you. He kissed you, wiped up the blood and kissed the wound, then carefully put a bandage over top to make sure it didn't bleed anymore. He handed you the water for you to drink, and then climbed into bed with you.

"I love you." He mumbled into your ear.

"I love you too." You set the water down on the table next to the bed, laid with him, and slept the night away.

• ───────────────── •

Here is my Masterlist in case you want to request, or look for more of your favorite character!

[k-daydreams]

The Pursuit of Feeling Alive: II. Acting Coy

Pairing: Azriel x fem!reader

Synopsis: cousin to Rhysand and Morrigan, y/n was once her family’s golden child. Faced with trials and tribulations her whole life, she needed reprieve— a distraction. Until a surprise homecoming opens Pandora’s box, and gives y/n a reality check. Especially facing her once close friend Azriel. Friends to Enemies to lovers trope.

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: swearing, angst, angst, angst!! Ooc Azriel being a dick?, flashbacks, mentions of trauma

Author’s note: wow wow, thank you everyone for the support! Kinda strayed from my original idea of this fic, but I’m loving it more. As always like, reblog, and please give feedback if ya can! I love all the messages I’ve been getting! It makes me so excited for this! Anyways enjoy and lmk if you want to be added to taglist?!

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You stood on the corner of the balcony attached to your bedroom in the House of Wind, gazing up at the remarkable Night Court sky. The stars twinkled above, painting the velvet canvas, while a gentle breeze enveloped you, carrying with it the faint scent of jasmine, a delicate reminder of Velaris' beauty. Aware that this might be your final stay in the city for a while, you cherished every precious moment, savoring the sights and sensations that had become familiar and comforting.

Tomorrow morning marked the beginning of a new chapter in your life—a journey to the Spring Court with your parents and the rest of the night court, where you would wed and live with your soon-to-be husband, the eldest son of the High Lord. Leaving the House of Wind was no easy task, for it had become your sanctuary, but it was your duty to follow the path laid before you. The weight of tradition and family expectations had been ingrained in you since childhood, shaping you into the dutiful daughter you strived to be, hoping to bring honor to your family's name. Sacrificing your own hopes, dreams, and aspirations was not in vain, or so you convinced yourself, fearful of the consequences of pursuing a different path.

As you basked in the soft glow of the moonlight, you allowed its radiant embrace to caress your bare arms, feeling a connection with the celestial bodies above. The gentle luminescence seemed to emanate from your own skin, illuminating the periphery of your vision. Tonight, you felt too numb to dim that light, to suppress the thoughts that consumed you. You had just embraced it all. It had been almost a year since your dormant abilities had awakened, making every fire and faelight burn tenfold, announcing your extraordinary powers. Since then, you have dedicated yourself to honing those powers, training relentlessly while also still excelling in your studies and various skill sets. It had also been almost a year since you were promised to a man in whom you held no interest.

The weariness had settled deep within you, amplified in recent weeks by the wedding preparations and the intense mental shield training by Rhysand. The purpose behind this training was to safeguard Velaris and the secrets of the Night Court from the prying minds of daemati, ensuring no slip of information would jeopardize your mission. Rhysand didn’t hold back with training, pushing you, and when you thought he couldn’t push anymore he found away to break you past the point. No amount of tonics and headache powders could help the pain that raged in your head, even making your body ache. You wished to snap, to surrender to the madness— senility seemed like a preferable alternative to the path laid out before you. You knew better than that.

A rustling sound behind you alerted your senses, accompanied by sturdy footsteps that landed with certainty. Without needing to guess, you knew who had joined you on the balcony, and for the moment, you wished for the company of only your own thoughts. That's why you had taken dinner in your room, denying even your handmaiden's presence. You didn't want your family or the court to witness the turmoil brewing within you. How vulnerable you actually were.

"You've been avoiding everyone," Azriel stated, his voice carrying from the opposite side of the balcony. His massive wings were relaxed hung over the railing, his elbows propped on the ornate material. Though he stood a step away, his shadow slid across the tiled floor, subtly wrapping itself around your ankle in a comforting greeting—a gesture you were too stubborn to admit brought solace.

"I've been preoccupied with making sure everything is ready for tomorrow and the wedding," you replied coolly, feigning detachment.

"You have people for that," he countered, a sliver of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. Azriel possessed the uncanny ability to read you like an open book—it was, after all, his skill as the Spymaster. It was more than the skill he had as he has been your friend for almost a century already, and he just knew by this point. He could sense whenever you were distressed, angry, happy, or on the verge of breaking apart.

"I'd like to ensure that all my belongings reach the Spring Court safely," you retorted with a nonchalant tone, your hands resting on your hips. Even if he was right, he was the last person who should be visiting you without a chaperone. The high lord was very strict with orders on who could visit you. Azriel was not one of them.

"Bullshit," he coughed, crossing his arms. You turned to face him, glaring, carefully observing his appearance. Dressed in his customary Illyrian fighting leathers, black and glazed, black gloves concealing his scarred hands, his blue siphons shining bright against your own radiant glow, his onyx hair neatly pushed back, not a strand out of place, and his jawline clean-shaven, he looked as fresh as a daisy, despite his busy schedule.

"Have you considered the possibility that I simply don't want company?" you queried, your tone laced with defiance. He chuckled at your stubbornness in a humorless way, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Your affairs are encroaching on mine at this point," he sighed, his frustration not directed at you, but rather at the fact that you had become a pawn in the grand scheme orchestrated by the High Lord, Kier, and your father. Another piece sacrificed in this intricate game of war, and it was unfair to you. While you remained oblivious to what lay ahead, Azriel had an inkling of the ordeal awaiting you. His spies had informed him about your soon-to-be husband and the nature of his family. He had known the court was everything you despised despite having everything you loved. He knew you were about to become the Spring Court's most prized olive branch and trophy once the night court handed you off, and he couldn’t do nothing about it.

"Sorry if my call to duty is so bothersome for you, Spymaster," your blood began to boil, indignation rising within you. He was upset? You were the one marching toward your sole purpose in life, or so you had been led to believe. It felt like you were going to your own funeral. Yet he wanted huff and puff in annoyance?

Azriel raised his hands in defense as your anger escalated. "I say this out of genuine concern for you, dear dove," he said, his voice gentle. Your heart fluttered at the nickname your friend had used for you—an endearing term that had started as teasing but had evolved into something deeper for you. "I know this isn't easy for you. Morrigan sends her wishes as well."

You scowled, your heart aching for what your family had put Morrigan through when she refused a preordained fate. You wished you possessed even a fraction of her bravery. But you were not her; you were yourself—the Night Court's shining jewel, the rare black diamond that they had painstakingly cultivated and finally gotten right.

"Azriel, what if I can't do this? What if I make a mistake?" Your throat tightened, your body trembling as you fought back the anguish welling up inside you. "I'm so fucking scared," you whispered, a tear escaping and trickling down your cheek. Azriel approached, closing the distance between you, and pulled you into his strong arms. He cradled your head with his gloved hand, the other rubbing soothing circles on your back, while his shadows gently played with the ends of your hair. The dam burst, and sobs wracked your body as you silently cried in his embrace, finally succumbing to the weight of it all. You could smell the mist and cedar on him, and it sent waves of solace through your body. It was one of your favorite smells, if not the top favorite on your list.

"You're going to do more than great," he whispered, his voice a gentle reassurance amidst the storm. "You're going to be the most intelligent, talented, and powerful woman to ever grace the Spring Court with your presence." He gently pulled away, cupping your tear-streaked face, wiping away the evidence of your pain. His hazel irises bore into yours, and a sincere look on his face as he continued. "Did I mention the prettiest as well?" A faint smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you rolled your eyes, appreciating the attempt to lighten the mood. You pulled him back to you, just needing to savor his warmth and presence for a little while longer. He didn’t protest, just rubbing your back as his shadows still continued to play with your hair.

After a while, you pulled away feeling your eyes were getting heavy. "I suppose I should get some sleep. Thank you, Az," you sniffled, your voice still shaky. He nodded, offering you a closed-lip smile.

"Of course, dear dove," he nodded, the moonlight still casting its ethereal glow upon you, making even your stray tears appear crystalline. Retrieving a small box from his pocket, he handed it to you—a black box adorned with a deep purple ribbon. "From all of us. You don't have to open it right now."

You took the box from his hand, your fingers lingering for a moment on his gloved one. He seized the opportunity and pulled you into another embrace, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. Your heart swelled at the gesture. Azriel may have been aloof most of the time, but when it mattered, he was compassionate. You could only hope your husband would possess a fraction of his considerate nature. He pulled away, and you wiped the remaining tears from your face.

"Goodnight, Y/n," he murmured.

"Goodnight, Az," you nodded, watching him as he moved away. His wings rustled before taking flight into the shimmering night sky of Velaris. You allowed him several meters of distance before entering your room. Sitting on your bed, you toyed with the small box, anticipation building within you. Unable to resist any longer, you opened the gift.

Inside, nestled on a bed of purple velvet, was a stunning jewelry set adorned with black diamonds. They were the most exquisite pieces you had ever laid eyes upon. A note was tucked beside them, signed by Rhysand, Morrigan, Cassian, and Azriel:

For our little star.

You had been heavy in thought all morning, memories haunting you, filling your heart with a weird sense of deja-vu. Preparing to leave for the Night Court proved to be a daunting task while nursing a hangover. At least you were staying for another few days, only gathering some belongings to leave with Morrigan when the inner circle left this morning. You wanted to tie up loose ends before leaving the Day Court and returning to the city of Velaris. You couldn't bear to leave Helion clueless on what stood in your affairs at his court; you had left too many loose ends in your life already. This time you were determined to at least end this chapter of your life closed and on a better note than all the others in your life.

The faint smell of the wildflowers and honey from the colorful gardens below breezed through the windows, and light from the morning sun glittered your skin where it was exposed as you moved around your room. You savored the feeling on you as it absorbed through your thin night clothes and robes as you packed. The light was hard to ignore as it buzzed in your veins, the frequency low compared to what it felt like when you weren’t hungover. Your head was already spinning, a whirlwind of emotions and nerves churning about. It was hard to tell whether the flutter in your stomach came from nerves or the remnants of the wine you had indulged in the night into the early morning. A big thanks to Mor, who never allowed your glass to be empty.

You had packed a decent size sack of clothes, but glamoured it into a small coin purse so Mor could easily bring it to Velaris without straining herself too much. Her room was further down at the end of the hall from yours, where she had always stayed in the Day Court (when she had not occupied Helion’s room). Not feeling the need to change out your night clothes yet, you left your room with the coin purse to go visit your cousin.

The day court palace was ethereal and heavenly. Everything from the statues, the molding around the high domed ceilings, the pillars that lined the halls of the palace, to the tiles of the floor were made of marble and quartz. The dome ceilings had murals painted of past day court rulers, great battle scenes from the Great War, and even some of Helion’s closest friends and court members. The halls had endless windows to let the sunlight in with balconies and verandas attached that held sitting areas of gold and champagne colored silk chairs and tables scattered about facing the best views of the grounds.

As you strolled down the hallway, the sunlight embraced your skin, leaving a warm sensation lingering upon you. The rings adorning your fingers glimmered, casting reflections on the polished floor. It was these little details that you would surely miss once you departed—the comforting warmth of the Day Court and the ability to harness your power so effortlessly. In the Night Court, where the moon and stars reigned supreme, the sun’s brilliance was muted, and manipulating light consistently proved more challenging. Lost in your own world and lost in thought, you failed to notice who was walking your way.

“Y/n!”

You looked over and saw Cassian, Nesta, Elain, and Azriel walking towards you. You mustered up a brave face, offering a meek smile. Azriel’s shadows came out of nowhere, swirling and circling up his arms. Almost like they were chirping to him. He subtly shook his arm to rid them, not looking impressed.

“Good morning,” you greeted, tucking your robe closer to your body, trying to cover up a bit more. You couldn’t help but notice the awe in Elain’s and Nesta’s faces as they looked at you. You didn’t think it was because you were in your night clothes either.

“You're glowing,” Nesta said with inquisition, ignoring your greeting. Your skin even through the mesh of your robe shined lightly emanating a soft glow.

Your cheeks reddened and you willed the light down into your being, not doing a great job as it seemed to shine brighter. Cassian smiled broadly, his wings rustling in amusement. Azriel had remained stoic close behind Elain. His facial expression was unreadable, a big contrast to the wonder in the young woman’s face.

“Didn’t I tell you she did that?” Cassian wrapped his arm around his mate, and her eyebrows furrowed together looking at him. She reminded you of a black apothecary cat that hated almost everyone, and Cassian was the stray golden long haired dog that roamed around the streets of Velaris begging for pets and food. It was odd, but sweet.

“I thought you meant figuratively.” She pushed him away slightly, fixing her hair.

“No, no it’s actually literal.” You tried to add a playful tone to your voice in an attempt to diffuse your unease. You felt naked and improper in front of them in just your night clothes. It didn’t help, they were already dressed for the day, all in their traveling attire.

“Intriguing,” Nesta hummed in curiosity.

“I think it’s beautiful,” Elain spoke up. “You’re truly the star they say you are.” You looked at the middle Archeron sister, her features soft and dainty. Her brown eyes are warm like toffee and her hair matched. She had reminded you of yourself many many centuries ago. “I had a lot of time to read in the libraries.”

“I’m in books, I didn’t realize I was of significance.” The statement came out harsher than intended. The feeling of indifference was powerful towards your biological family.

“You are one of the most important court members to exist. Of course you're in the Night Court texts.” Azriel muttered. “No need to act coy.” Though his voice was calm and level, you knew that had been intended as snark.

Your softened gaze hardened as you glared at him, “I’m not being coy, just genuinely surprised because I was also one of the most shunned members.” The air was now heavy with an unsaid tension as Cassian and the sisters looked between Azriel and you. This was the first time you’ve talked to him in over fifty years, of course it was meant to be an argument. Cassian should’ve expected this, knowing his brother's feelings and how your temper got. Knowing how you ended things and the complex history between you two.

“Surprised you’re always put on a pedestal, no matter what your status is?” He jeered. Your could feel your inner rage ignite in your veins. You weren’t some pretty prize or trophy. Not anymore at least.

“Nesta, Elain let me show you the gardens.” Cassian suggested casually. Nesta looked entertained that she got to see the shadowsinger break his mask of cool, but quickly got annoyed at her mate who was pulling her away. Whereas Elain looked hesitant, bracing a hand on Azriel’s muscular bicep, showing her concern before trailing behind her sister.

“We’ll see you back at Velaris, Y/n.” Cassian put his hand on your shoulder walking past you and shooting Azriel a pointed look, escorting the women to the gardens; leaving the other Illyrian male and you alone. You watched as Elain walked away, Azriel’s shadows came out once again alerting the male in front of you.

Your narrowed eyes and the lurch in your stomach betrayed the surge of emotions you felt as you observed him staring after her. That look, the same one he used to give Mor when he thought no one else was watching, the one you used to yearn for—now it made you sick. An insatiable, jealous feeling clawed at you.

“Moved on, I see.” You chided, not being able to filter your mouth. You knew it was a low blow, knowing what you did know, but at this moment you didn’t care. Any warmth you felt from the past night had dissipated and you let your heart iced over once more.

“That’s none of your concern.” He uttered. His eyes a dark hazel as he took you in finally, without the stares of others following. You wanted to shudder under his dark gaze, but you held your composure standing taller, chin jutted out. He stalked towards you until his face dangerously close to yours, his frame towering over you. His steady breath hit your face as he spoke lowly. “Nor are matters in the Night Court.”

You could feel the flames building and intensifying inside you. “Is my appearance not wanted by you Spymaster?” Rhysand said he wouldn’t admit that missed you, but surely this couldn’t be the same Azriel that your cousin had spoken about last night.

He scoffed, “you ran away from us after you were freed. You didn’t even send a letter. I-we had to find out from Rhys once he came back from the cabin!” His smooth voice now gruff from his raising it. Azriel hardly raised his voice at anyone, but when it came to you, he would raise his voice until no words came out.

Your blood was boiling at assumptions he made. “You don’t know what I went through! You won’t ever know!” You exclaimed, feeling your eyes burn tears ready to spill.

“Your right, I won’t ever know.” He said with a scary calmness. “I don’t want to know either. You’re selfish for running away, leaving us. When you don’t want to deal with shit that’s what you do— run. Then what happens? We rescue you from whatever shit show you’re in. If it wasn’t an order from my high lady, I wouldn’t have come last night to your pity party.”

You were speechless, you could feel your stomach drop. Those were choice words he made, and each one was a stab to the stomach. He knew you hadn’t had a choice when you were married off to that monster. Azriel knew it wasn’t your fault that he went off and murdered your cousins. It wasn’t your fault his family was so scared of you for being too powerful so they had done terrible things to you. But he still threw it in your face as if it was your choice. You never had a choice. His face was expressionless again, “but anyways welcome home, Y/n.” His tone was void of any kindness as he brushed your shoulder passing you.

You could feel a couple tears finally slip down your flushed cheeks as you stood alone in the hall. Unsure of what had gone so wrong between Azriel and you for him to act so out of character. What made you want to get under his skin so bad that it only ended up with you hurting more. He had acted the same way before you followed Rhysand under the mountain, when he had tried to convince you not to go. He screamed, shouted, cried, and almost had his shadows restrain you, just so you wouldn’t leave. Now he wanted nothing to do with you.

You choked on the lump stuck in your throat, turning back to go to your room. When Mor was ready she knew where to find you. For now, you had decided it round two of your pity party.

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Taglist: @rachelnicolee @tcris2020

[sojuyae]

illusion of the heart

summary: he's aware and restless, what delusion shall he make this time?

pairing: chuuya nakahara / f! reader

notes: self indulgent, not proofread, smut suggestive themes and angst, yandere themes, unrequited feelings, ooc chuuya, unhealthy relationships, soulmate au (in a form of matching marks eehkhk) , in a way... i think its also fwb? not proofread as always haha

by clicking read more you are consenting to read mature themes :3

Chuuya’s love story is foolish.

Utterly so.

Because there is a firm distinction between making foolish decisions — to act without taking into account the consequences — no prior judgement, and considering making a senseless decision — to proceed despite knowing the risks.

He falls in the class of the latter.

However, from his perspective, even in the absence of certainty and faith in essentially an ounce of reciprocated love, there is still the consent you have given him to hold you.

Despite the mark that adorns your neck, one that does not match his.

Inside the dim room, it reeks of sex as the moonlight shamelessly gleams on the film of sweat coating both of your foreheads.

“Chuuya — hn —” A shrill moan cuts through your words, causing Chuuya to stop in his ministrations, he breathes softly, pecking your lips a few times, in an effort to reassure you. The softness of it all makes your chest squeeze.

“‘S okay, mn, I got you.” He mumbles against your lips.

With eyes hazed by gratifying lust, your hand languidly reaches for his cock, guiding it to your core — an embarrassed plead of “Please,” driving him over the edge.

Chuuya wastes no time fulfilling your request; his tip grazing your entrance.

But he does not put it in, what a sadistic bastard, he enjoys the way your face contorts into one of desperation. Your moans devoured by his abused lips, the shade of a darker color, derived from the groans he held back by biting them. Not that he’s embarrassed of it — not with how your walls try so hard to easily accommodate his girth.

His hand grasps your own in an attempt mimic of lover’s intertwined hands — a gesture meant to symbolize love between two people, and he, out of all people should know that you both are nothing like that —

Your unoccupied hand weakly reaches for his hair. Grasping the soft tresses tightly. Pull. Hurt. Purge him out of his feelings. Let this unkind relationship end.

He loves it, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

(A kiss so tender, so unnatural, something only the right person deserves.)

“‘S okay.” With words starting to slur together, his eyes drift to where you are connected, and watches as slick sticks to him every time he pulls out, slowly drenching the bedsheets.

He sheaths himself fully, and pain is slowly contorted into one of pleasure.

Tears form on your eyes, some cling to your eyelashes, while a few fountains down your cheeks, leaving a warm trail that is promptly countered with Chuuya’s fingers brushing it away. A hiccup erupting from your lips. The delicate pads of his thumbs brushing against your skin reminds you of a cat's delicate lick against their young felines head, pure — absent of any and all hidden intentions.

Ah, he must have mistook your tears as a reaction to the pain that came with the sheer pleasure of his cock stretching you whole. It’s not like you blame him for thinking so, not anyone can see clearly not with how the dim the room is — the light has always been off every nightly rendezvous you both have, as per his request.

What he doesn’t know is that you’re crying because of the unfairness of it all.

Because this is a cruel relationship where, if either of you interferes with the equilibrium between this liaison you both made, the whole bond will fall apart. Where a strong gust of wind — his sentiments — could profoundly impact and crumble it down.

You’re scared that once the string that has been holding up the relationship, at long last snaps and you’d be forced to face his feelings.

It would have been better if he were like the men your friends warn you about. If he were like men that once they get a taste of something sapid, the desire and greed devours them entirely. If only he doesn’t make sure that you feel safe and secure after the vulnerability you showed him. If only he doesn’t hold you close — if only — if only he didn’t cherish you.

If only this classified as something ‘messing around until we find our soulmates.’ his words, not yours.

But he does, and there is nothing you could do about it.

Almost as if Chuuya read your thoughts, like he doesn’t want you to think about it anymore — he sheaths himself inside you again and ruts his hips forward.

Don’t think about it anymore; he offers no words, but the eyes are the windows of the soul and that's exactly what's his are saying. Think of me — think of this instead.

His cerulean eyes wander to your neck, zeroing on the ‘dirty’ streak that he believes what causes you both anguish. The gravitation pull of the unnatural mark is so intense that he cannot find himself to tear away his gaze.

A soulmate mark, shape and color so unlike his. 

Chuuya bites his lips, causing his already swollen lips to bleed. 

He wraps his hands around your neck — and squeezes.

That night, Chuuya decided — that if his mark does not match yours, then he might as well cover you with ones he’ll make.

In the dimness of his room, he leaves makes sure that every skin that he trails is marred by his kisses — so much so that you’re scared that it’s something that any amount of concealer won’t be able to cover, and he hopes it can’t.

[thehollowwriter]

Summary: Finn's first Halloween on land is turned upside down by the unexpected appearance of the ghosts of his siblings

This like 4k+ words, the octotrio may be sightly ooc

Content warnings: Cannibalism, infanticide, ghosts, gore(???)

(Pls reblog and leave a comment ❤)

A Ghostly Halloween

Pain. The feeling of sharp stinging pain in his stomach caused Finn to slowly open his eyes and blink.

Finn? Who was that? That couldn't be his name. There were no names here in this warm dim hollow. A small cramped place tinted with dark red.

A harsh pang came again and Finn doubled over, pressing his hand the fleshy wall of his cavern.

A sudden muffled noise, one that sounded like a delighted coo, made him pull away in fright and curl into a ball with a whine.

The pain would not go away. It clawed at his insides, setting them on fire with an ache that left him squirming and in pain.

His jaw opened and shut rhymically, trying to clamp around nothing.

He pushed away from his little nook and swam forwards blindly, swatting at the space around him until his stubby malformed hand closed around....something.

Something soft and squishy and alive.

Finn squinted as his poor eyes struggled to focus on the small forms floating across from him.

They didn't look like much. See-through, hairless lumps of flesh with huge, black glassy eyes.

Finn stared at the familiar liltle creatures he shared his home with. He had seen them before, during those few times he dared move from his nook.

That stabbing pain, that sense of weakness, came again and every single nerve came alive.

Finn tightened his grip and the thing began to squirm and make whimpering sounds, trying to pull out of his grip.

As if he had done it a million times before, Finn's jaw unhinged and he lunged forward. The squirming came to an instant stop.

The next few minutes of his short life were the most blissful it had ever been, the pain inside of him slowly beginning to fade the more his jaws clamped shut.

As he worked his jaw, distant haunting cries began to fill Finn's ears, slowly growing louder and louder until it pounded at his ear drums and made them hurt.

The cries were mournful, filled with an agony that made him freeze as an icy chill ran up his spine.

Shrieking wails sounded from all sides and the stench of death filled the air.

A large piece of flesh in Finn's mouth became lodged in his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut. He clawing at his throat, whimpering and shaking as he tried to draw in a breath.

Another cry joined the cacophony. A quieter, more strangled one.

Finn looked down to find the lump of flesh in his hands twisting around to look at him, its hard devoured face curling into a mocking pantomime of a crying child.

Amidst the chaos, a shrill voice rasped into his ears

"Why?"

Finn's eyes forced themselves open and he bolted upright with his hands wrapped tightly around his throat.

He sucked in glorious precious oxygen in heavy gasping breaths, swallowing and looking around with bloodshot eyes.

Finn released his grip on his throat and his trembling fingers curled around soft silky bedsheets as he took in his surroundings.

Purples, greys and silvers were lit up in a dim glow from a thin stream of moonlight filtering through the windows. The soft colours of his room was a sharp contrast to the suffocating endless red ensnaring him mere moments ago.

Finn opened and closed his mouth wordlessly and he tried to steady his breathing, coughing and hiccuping despite and the effort.

Finn pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs and rocked back and forth. The scenario played in his mind over and over like a broke record, making his stomach churn and his mouth go dry.

'A nightmare.' He thought to himself. 'It was just a nightmare. You're in your bed in Octavinelle and you had a nightmare.'

Finally, Finn's breathing began to steady to and those dreadful hiccups ceased. Trembling lips pressed into a thin line and he raised his hand to touch his cheeks.

Wet.

He was crying. Sea Witch, this was pathetic. He, a student at one of the most prestigious magic schools in the world, was crying over a bad dream like a scared pup.

Finn leaned back against the pillows and ran a hand through his damp hair. Sweat clung to his forehead like a limpet. His palms were in no better state.

His foggy, clouded head slowly began to clear and he took a deep breath.

Although the grogginess had lifted, Finn's head was still pounding when he suddenly became incredibly aware of just how alone he was.

Despite being a first year, he had a room to himself. His roommates, every single one, requested transfers after two weeks with him over and over until it was decided he would stay alone.

The room was dead silent, empty and void of any soul besides him.

...No. That wasn't entirely true.

Finn picked up his phone from his side table, the light of the screen lighting up his blotchy tear stained face.

4:30am October 31st

Finn unlocked his phone and went to his contacts, staring blankly at the short list of names before him.

The twins slept until 6 or later, and they had a late night dealing with Halloween preparations. He didn't want to bother them.

Azul got up at 5 every morning no matter how late he stayed up. He wouldn't mind being roused half an hour early.

...Would he?

Finn gazed at Azul's name, his thumb hovering over the call button.

He stifled a sob and turned off his phone.

He got out of bed and looked around nervously, feeling cautiously optimistic when he found the room empty.

Finn took a few deep breaths and looked out the window at the the stretch of ocean outside. Nothing but rippling seaweed and some fish.

"It's fine." He told himself softly. "They're not here. It's not possible for them to be here."

Feeling stressed and overheated, Finn wandered over to his desk and opened the drawer.

From the neatly organised collection of stationary, notebooks and other odds and ends, Finn pulled out two keys. One was small and gold, the other was large, black and purple.

Finn left his room quickly, slinking down the long dark hallways with his eyes fixed to the floor until he came to the doors of the newly constructed Mostro Lounge.

Finn slid the black and purple key into the lock and unlocked the doors, slipping silently into the empty restaurant.

Finn made his way to the large glass wall and took a seat at one of the tables facing it, suddenly feeling boneless and exhausted.

Finn covered his face with his hands and let out a shaky breath as he began to stress again.

"Breathe." He said to himself. "Just breathe."

He exhaled and inhaled slowly and shakily, squeezing his eyes shut.

Eventually, the soft murmuring of the water surrounding Octavinelle and the soothing silence of Mostro Lounge eased his shaking shoulders and ragged breaths.

"Just a dream." Finn reminded himself, opening his eyes and looking around. "Not real. It's far past midnight and they aren't here. They. Aren't. Here."

Finn stared out the glass, watching the gentle billowing of the seaweed and corals a d the small colourful fish darting about.

The waters of Octavinelle were so bright and friendly in comparison to his home.

Finally beginning to feel calm, Finn allowed himself to relax and a giddy feeling washed over him.

They weren't here.

His eyelids slid shut and he knew, stressed and sleep deprived, he was going to fall asleep and miss classes and Halloween prep.

That was fine. He would take the punishment dealt to him if it meant to finally enjoy a moment of real peace.

Finn slumped against his seat and his breathing slowed. Nobody would interrupt him here, not until Azul came to open the lounge this afternoon.

Finally, he was really completely alone.

***

Finn stirred from his death-like slumber some time later, sleepily sitting up on the couch to stretch his cramped limbs with a yawn.

He rubbed his eyes and turned to stare out the window, blinking rapidly to get the sleep out of his eyes.

"Mm..?"

Finn narrowed his eyes at a group of fuzzy unclear silhouettes, wiping his eyes again to get them to adjust. When they did so, his heart nearly stopped.

"No..."

Behind the glass, five pink fleshy blobs vaguely resembling mers floated at eye level, silent and unmoving

The only indicators of their species were their short stubby tails and long awkward arms. Besides that they were more like meat sacks, with no fins, no nose and no gills. Their hands were stubby and malformed, and where their eyes should have been were large pitch black holes.

Their skin, pink as it was, was translucent. Under the pinkish layer lay tiny unbeating hearts protected by frail ribs and surrounded by a whispy malformed skeleton.

Finn's blood went cold and a primal nauseating fear settled into his stomach.

"No... please..."

Keeping his gaze fixed on the silent apparitions, Finn stood up and began to fumble for his phone, backing away from the wall slowly.

He refused to tear his gaze away, even as he struggled to unlock his phone and get to his contacts.

Finn pressed what he hoped beyond all else was a call button and raised his phone to his ear.

To his relief, it began to ring and after a mere minute or so, Azul's voice came through on the other side.

"Is everything alright, Finn?" He asked almost automatically. His soft voice was filled with cautious concern.

"A-Azul." Finn's voice came out raspy and strained. "Azul they're here. Please- the lounge, they- they followed me- staring they won't stop staring-"

He heard Azul take in a sharp breath before speaking again.

"Stay where you are, I'm coming."

The call ended and the room was plunged into heavy silence once more. Finn wished he had asked Azul to stay on the line.

Those huge black voids remained fixed on him, unblinking.

Finn walked sideways to the other end of the glass wall, watching them through his peripheral vision. He blinked, and they were in front of him again.

"Why are you here?" Finn whispered, his voice barely escaping his throat. "What do you want from me? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

There was no response.

Azul's arrival was a blessed interruption. The opening of the door and the familiar sound of his foorsteps nearly caused Finn to cry in relief.

Before Azul could even open his mouth to speak, Finn lunged at him and wrapped his arms around his midriff.

Azul's eyes widened in surprise and he stumbled back slightly at the force of the near tackle. Finn buried his face in his chest, trembling and breathing heavily.

Azul looked around the lounge with a frown. Apart from the two of them, it was completely empty. However, when his gaze landed on the glass wall, a sudden sense of dread settled over him.

He placed a hand on Finn's head and let out a sigh.

"So they followed you after all, then?" He asked softly, his eyes shining with concern.

Finn nodded.

"I thought... I thought they would be afraid to come to the surface." He whispered. "I-I had a nightmare again and came here. I fell asleep but when I woke it they were behind the glass and just... staring at me."

Finn lifted his head to look at Azul. All colour had drained from his face and his voice cracked slightly.

"They never stop staring, they just sit there and look at me. I don't know what they want. What do they want, Azul?"

Azul hesitated for a moment.

"I don't know." He murmured. "But they don't... seem to have any intention of causing you harm."

Finn weakly scoffed in response. "Not physically. They seem keen on tormenting me in both the dream and waking worlds."

"Well..." Azul sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Perhaps you should come to classes today. Maybe being around people will help distract you from it."

"Don't force yourself." He added quickly. "I know you get overstimulated."

Finn made a noise of acknowledgement and released his vice grip on Azul.

"It's alright. I have my headphones and... I suppose being surrounded by loudmouths is better than-" He glanced at the glass. "-looking at them."

He checked his phone and he realised he had only slept for about twenty or thirty minutes. Then he nodded.

"Let's go."

***

Class was surprisingly bearable, despite a few setbacks. Namely, students and teachers alike staring at his deathly pale face, asking unwanted questions and whispering amongst themselves

But he didn't mind, it provided a distraction from the five sets of eyes trained at him at almost all times.

The tiny ghosts stayed in a group nearly all the time, hovering close to each other like a bunch of grapes. Occasionally one or two of them would break off from the rest to another part of the room. They never left the room Finn was in, and always returned after a maximum of half an hour.

No matter where Finn went, they would either float directly above his head or hover nearby. It didn't matter if it was Halloween or not, they would always be there even if he couldn't see them.

Currently, Finn tapped his pen against his notebook and bit back the tears threatening to spill over, wishing he was any other class.

Trein had a near supernatural ability to keep his class dead silent and working efficiently no matter what. Usually Finn appreciated this, but right now it felt like a curse.

Trying to work was impossible. Finn couldn't stop glancing at the three ghosts hovering next to him, staring into his soul.

The other two had wandered off, settling themselves in different parts of the room.

Number four was was staring at Lucius, watching as the cat flattened his ears angrily, much to Trein's confusion.

Number five was hovering over Azul with its head tilted to the side as the octopus took rigorous note of Trein's words.

They did this sometimes. Either one, two or all of them would move away from Finn and float either by his father or his partners for a while. Finn was unsure if this was a threat or some peculiar way of recognising their family.

Azul, hiding the sense of dread caused by the ghosts incredibly well, would occasionally go very still and glance back and Finn with a mix of unease and concern.

Finn simply shrugged his shoulders and looked back at Trein, next to which number four continued to float.

Finn sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

This was going to be an unbearable day.

***

Clubs were promptly skipped. Finn enjoyed Malleus' company dearly, but the bright shining lights of the classrooms and sunshine along with the skull-piercing uproar of noise caused by talking, shouting, shoes clicking, pens scratching against paper and more all became utterly unbearable by the end of the day.

If he spent any longer like this he would have a panic attack, just like Azul warned.

Malleus was remarkably understanding, though Finn was unsure if it was because he looked like he'd been run over by a truck or because of something to do with the way Malleus kept glancing at the "empty" space above Finn's head.

Either way, Finn was grateful for the prince's kindness and promised to pay him back for it. Now, he had time to do what he needed to do.

Finn wandered across the sizable campus, keeping his eyes away from his ghostly family, until he came to a large glass greenhouse. It looked exactly like the botanical gardens, but smaller and with tinted windows.

Finn fished the small gold key from his pocket and unlocked the door. He stepped into the greenhouse, closing the door behind him and taking off his shoes.

His breath turned to steam in the air and he smiled a little at the comforting chill of the cold.

The greenhouse was cold as ice. Frost would be settling along the walls, cieling and floor if it weren't for the and of magic keeping the structure clear and the plant life lush.

Any other student, yes even his partners, would be shuddering and reaching for a coat. Finn however, welcomed the cold.

It was just like home.

Finn made his way down the winding stone path to a gazebo like structure in the centre of the greenhouse, admiring his surroundings as he went.

Dark green grass grew tall, dotted with various plants and flowers. Every little thing from the tiniest stone to the largest leaf was organised in a beautiful flourishing arrangement.

A large number of small stone circles decorated the grass, and placed on top of them were the many paintings made by his own hands, both the beautiful and serene and the twisted and macabre.

Finn stepped into the gazebo, trailing his fingers along the half completed paintings sitting there, the table laden with painting equipment and the pile of blank canvases stacked in the corner.

He pulled a stool up to an easel and placed a new canvas onto it, taking a seat with a heavy sigh.

He blinked and, almost like they knew the drill, his siblings moved in front of him. Most of them stayed together, but some of them separated to look curiously at the plants and insects taking up the greenhouse.

Number five fixed itself by the mushrooms Jade had started to grow under a large tree. Number four was... lying down... by the flowers, and number two was staring at the pond.

Finn covered his face and took in a shaky breath, trying to hype himself up as he got ready to start a new painting. Painting them was never easy, but he had to do it.

When he opened his eyes again, every single ghost had moved to the tree number five was under, gazing at him silently.

When his brain registered exactly how they were situated, Finn had to cover his mouth and bite back bile.

They were all hovering close to the ground, grass standing out against the paleness of their tiny fat bodies. They had arranged themselves into two rows like they were ready for a family photo, three in the front and two at the back.

Their faces were twisted into what had to be some sort of attempt at a smile, sharp teeth full of gaps jutting out of their jaws.

Finn took a pencil in his hands and closed his eyes to count to ten. When his eyelids lifted, his breath caught in his throat and was unable to hide a gasp.

***

It was 9pm when Azul began to worry.

Between the four of them, he was always the worrier. The other three, much more complacent with unexpected circumstances, often teased him for his overactive imagination.

Azul felt quite justified for his concern at the moment, though. It had very several hours since classes and clubs finished and Finn was nowhere to be found.

He was gone. On Halloween of all the days.

The twins on the other hand, were a lot more relaxed, opting to sit calmly in the VIP room while Azul drummed his fingers against his desk nervously.

"It'll be fine, Zul." Floyd mumbled, pulling his fedora over his face. "He's probably just painting the lil' guys like he always does on Halloween."

"But he never takes this long," Azul insisted. "He told us he works on his pieces for a few hours maximum. I don't want a repeat of last year."

In truth, they hadn't been close with Finn long enough to understand his working patterns apart from what he told them. Finn was new to the relationship, becoming their partner only a few months ago.

This was only their second Halloween together. Their first Halloween with Finn was after their year long boot camp the year before they came to NRC.

The ghosts of what were apparently Finn's siblings became visible to Finn, as they did every Halloween, during their return trip to the Coral Sea. Their sudden appearance while Finn was in open water with few things to distract himself with led to disastrous results.

The reminder of the incident caused Floyd's face to morph into a more concerned expression

"Yeah, I guess that's true..."

"I believe we should be patient," Jade chimed in from his seat opposite Floyd. "Finn can be difficult to predict at times. Give it a few hours and and we'll go to his greenhouse."

There was a bout of silence before Floyd spoke again.

"I still can't believe he managed to get permission to keep his stuff in that place"

"Only because Crowley uses some of his paintings of the school for advertising. With credit and fair payment of course." Azul said with a fond smile. "And because he doesn't want his more... unique paintings easily visible to students. I believe the mere sight of one of them nearly made him faint."

The three of them chuckled at that.

"Alright." Azul relented. "We'll wait. If he doesn't come back we'll go to the greenhouse."

They settled into a comfortable silence again, and the seconds began to slowly tick by.

9:05 no sign of Finn

9:30 no sign of Finn

10:00 no sign of Finn

10:30

10:45

11:00

11:30

11:35

"That's it," Jade finally relented, checking his phone with a furrowed brow. "We need to find him. Now."

The trip out of Octavinelle to the greenhouse was a tense, silent and long one. Luckily they did not have to walk as far as they would have to get to the main building.

The door was locked when they arrived. Jade hummed and tapped his pen against the lock. They waited for a "click" before opening the door.

The freezing cold that settled over them caused gooseflesh to ripple across their skin as glanced around to find their missing partner.

"Oh shit." Floyd hissed, lunging forward in a dead bolt to the the gazebo.

Jade and Azul followed suit, coming to a stop at the top of the gazebo steps to find Floyd kneeling next to Finn with an alarmed expression on his face.

Finn was curled into a tight ball on the floor, covering his face with his hands and rocking back and forth. Sobs wracked his body and he mumbled incoherently at a speed far beyond his usual slow soft pace.

"Finn." Floyd rasped out, grabbing him. "Finn, it's us."

Almost instantly, the mumbling came to a stop and Finn raised his head to look at them with bloodshot eyes and a face as white as a sheet.

"Finn are you alright?" Jade asked softly, crouching in front of the panic stricken shark.

Finn stared at Jade as if he was speaking in an alien tongue before shaking his head wildly.

"No... please..." He whispered, grasping at Jade and Floyd with a force that nearly knocked them over. "Smiling... they won't stop smiling at me. And crying, they keep crying. They sound so afraid... I want to go home..."

It was unclear which home meant, but that didn't stop Floyd from hoisting Finn into his arms and giving a little kiss to his head.

"S'gonna be okay." He murmured. "We're gonna have a sleepover in Azul's room tonight. It'll be fun, yeah? The night will be gone in a jiffy and the lil fellas will be invisible again."

"Tomorrow is in-" Jade checked the time. "Less than ten minutes. Let's get back to the dorm. You'll be alright, Finn."

Finn made a muffled noise of half-hearted agreement, pressing his face into Floyd's chest.

The twins began making the walk to the door, leaving Azul alone in the gazebo.

Azul tilted his head at the paintbrushes and pencils left lying on the floor and packed them back onto the table, stopping suddenly when he caught sight of the incomplete canvas.

He stared at for a moment. His heart jumped to his throat.

"Azul, you coming?"

Floyd's voice pulled Azul from his momentary stupor and he nodded. "Yes yes of course. I apologise, I was distracted."

Azul remained distracted all the way home, staring into empty space while the twins filled the silence with nonsense talk in an attempt to calm Finn down.

Not a single word they said registered in Azul's mind, though. The only thing he could think about was the half finished painting burned into his retinas.

It was quite possibly the least gory or macabre thing regarding the ghosts Finn had ever created. In fact, someone who didn't know any better would call it sweet.

Two boys and three girls, around sixteen years in age, stood close together in two rows under a large tree. Three in the front and two at the back.

They all looked so similar to Finn, especially their eyes. They were all bright pools of amethyst with pupils blown wide.

The boys were wearing Night Raven College uniforms, and the girls wore the uniforms of one of the all girls magic schools on the mainland.

Their smiles were wide grins fill of sharp twisted teeth, stretching unnaturally across their faces.

At the bottom of the canvas , scrawled in handwriting that was not Finn's, were two words.

We wish

......................................

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed. Sorry about the ending I wasn't sure how to finish. If you want to draw Finn please feel free to, just tag me!

Tagging: @distant-velleity @krenenbaker @kitwasnothere @cynthinesia @oya-oya-okay @minteasketches @elysia-nsimp @twisted-wonderland-but-gayer @cyanide-latte @theleechyskrunkly @casp1an-sea

@poisoned-pearls

[heartcereql]

am i the girl that you dream of?

✩ xavier thorpe x f!reader

SYNOPSIS- all over the summer, xavier has been having dreams of a certain girl, who, much to his surprise, arrives at nevermore for the new school year. 

CW- lowercase intended, cursing, bianca and xavier don’t have any history, also divina may be a bit ooc since we didn’t get much of her. 

A/N- i know it doesn’t really follow pretty when i cry (the song i got the prompt from) but i loved how it turned out. sorry in advance, it’s pretty long LMAO. also feel free to send request for wednesday characters! :)

moonlight bathed her features. her eyes glistened, reflecting the stars. hands delicately mused, fingers interwinned, softly caressing the other hand. her chest rose up and down, inhaling midnight air, fueling her lungs with the pure atmosphere that surrounded her figure. 

dreams always felt surreal. but when she was in them? they went beyond that. xavier stretched his hand towards her. slowly, his fingertips grazed her shoulder. and then he saw. 

his vision suddenly flooded with flashing memories. dazzling blue lights, very muffled chattering, hands, lips, figures, were all his senses were taking in.

4:39 AM

xavier woke up covered in sweat once again. the sun wasn’t up yet. dim light from the stars came through his window. 

he hadn’t been thrilled about going home for summer holidays. he thought he’d be staying at ajax’s or be sent to a summer camp. he would’ve liked that. but his father had kept him home. all. fucking. summer. and then the dreams started to appear. the first one, he doesn’t even remember. he just brushed it off. but then they continued appearing. and he found himself enhanced. for almost two months, he’d drawn the girl from his dreams. wether it were only sketches of herwaist, or doodles of herparted lips. he even had an unfinished painting of her moonlit face in a big canvas. anybody who had seen his latest pieces would’ve thought he was a stalker. he was just trapped in his house. it only conforted him  how close the beginning of the new school year was. 

back at nevermore, xavier felt at ease again. getting back on track carried an euphoric feeling for him. settling everything in his dorm, catching up with ajax and rowan, cleaning his art shed, it all gave him a sense of belonging that he wouldn’t change for anything. the dreams even went away.

and, in one of his conversations, he found out. about your arrival. though, at first, he paid no mind to it. ajax had said something about two transfer students incorporating this year.

“yeah, one of them will be here in a couple days. i heard the other’s application is still pending or something like that” rowan added. 

“damn, does everyone know but me?” he said. he meant it as a joke, but, deep down, he was worried he’d been living under a rock the whole summer.

“it’s not that big of a deal” ajax shrugged “but most likely.”

xavier groaned and mentally face-palmed himself. he could’ve checked enid’s blog. idiot. 

✩✩✩✩

meanwhile you were talking to principal larissa weems alongside your parents. the woman before you had an elegant and intimidating beauty and her words came out graceful and confident. 

she’d explained how the school worked, what the classes consisted in and the insitute’s norms. your parents were delighted with weems, relieved she would be in charge of your security and safety. she seemed trustworthy. she inspired comfort, but also discipline and respect. 

“now, now, y/n, it is time for you to meet your roommate and she will give you a tour around school. i’ll leave you sometime with your family to say your goodbyes” weems spoke with a warm smile. 

your parents nodded and thanked her as she escorted you out of her office. 

✩✩✩✩

as you were seeing your parents’ car drive away, a presence approached you. you turned around to meet a girl with chestnut, shoulder lenght hair and pale blue eyes. 

“hey! you must be y/n. i’m divina, your roommate” she gave you an enchanting smile as she offered her hand.

“charmed to meet you” you smiled back as you shook her hands.

“i think your belongings have already been moved into our dorm, so let’s take a look at the school first, shall we?” she asked, linking your arm with hers as you nodded, delighted. 

✩✩✩✩

xavier was working on his latest project very near the quad. it had been half his and half weems’s idea. a mural adorning one of the walls adjacent to the quad. his mind ran free as he painted some details in a crow. 

as he changed some of his used brushes for clean ones, his eyes scanned the quad. some girls chatting in a bench nearby, a group of gorgons in the back of the quad, and then his eyes made their way towards two moving figures. 

was that divina? she indeed was. and she was talking to a girl, who was looking for something in her bag. she was not wearing the uniform. she must have been one of the transfers. xavier stopped whatever he was doing to take a proper look at the pair. 

as the new girl found what she was looking for, her face now exposed, xavier realised. it was you. the girl he’d been dreaming of all summer. too shocked to react, he could only watch you walk away towards thelxiepeia hall. 

✩✩✩✩

september passed by faster than everyone had wanted. 

you and divina had become quite close and she’d introduced you to bianca, yoko, enid and kent. you’d even thrown a slumber party at your shared dorm; the girls helped you settle in and decorate your side.

xavier, on the other hand, had been thinking of how to approach you, if he even should. he hadn’t wanted to be affected by it, not wanting to start the neverending cycle this past summer had been, filled with incognitas about you. but the dreams came back. and they were different. you actually spoke to him in this new dreams. nothing that he could comprehend though. sometimes you spoke in unsolveable riddles, sometimes in a language he couldn’t understand. 

“it is time for you to make the very first project of this semester” professor Cross, horror literature’s teacher anounced, earning a groan from all the students. “it could’ve been an exam, no need to be so dramatic. the couples assigned and the book assigned for each are displayed on the classroom door. have nice evenings!” and with that, he vanished from the class. 

you and bianca made your way towards the door. she was the only one from your friend group who had horror literature in this period. 

“i’m up here and you, oh here!” she pointed at your names.

she got paired with a girl named iris. your name was written nexto to ‘xavier thorpe’. 

“it’s perfect that i got Lovecraft. i mean, i’ve loved him since i was merely in the womb. i spent all summer reading-” bianca was rambling about lovecraft before you interrupted her.

“hey, b, who is xavier thorpe?” you asked her, fidgeting with a sticky note in which you’d written his name along with ‘The Tell-Tale Heart’. 

“you know that kid who’s painting a mural in the quad? that’s him. i think he’s super good at literature , so you’re gonna ace this” she responded, walking you to the quad.

as you and her were about to start a conversation as to which outfit you should choose for your girls’ evening out, someone catched up to you. 

“hey, you’re y/n, right?” a tall boy, with sharp features and long hair, asked, locking eyes with you.

you felt a sensation of déjà vu run through you as you could only nod, enhanced by his figure. 

“i’m xavier” the boy smiled. “we are partners for this project, so, um, maybe you want to schedule for some days to work on it?”

“sure, sure” you reciprocated the smile, taking in the way his made you feel. “i’ll catch you later, bi” you said to your friend as she nodded and walked away. 

“so, uh, when are you free?” he asked as you turned back to him. “for the project, i mean”

“i think i have this afternoon free, and next one as well, if it works for you” you spoke.

you sounded exactly like what he’d dreamt. your silk soft voice reverberating in his ears, sending goosebumps down his body.

“sounds perfect. library, 4pm?” xavier said, observing your features in the sun, rather than the moonlight, admiring you. not a product of his imagination. just you. 

✩✩✩✩

xavier got to the library at the very time he’d told you. scanning the place, he finally found your figure. your bag was placed in a chair, and you were browsing through the shelves, looking for some books. 

“hey” he greeted. 

words caught up in your throat when you looked at him. he loved the way your eyes fluttered around, finally settling down on his.

“hi” you responded. “so. i’ve been collecting a few books about poe, you know, so we can make a deep analysis on the piece”

“cool, cool. i feel like the old man has a lot of connotations-” he started.

“wait you’ve read the tell-tale heart?” you asked, smiling. you loved poe’s works.

“yeah, everyone should” he chuckled. “i find poe inspiring. all of his horror pieces itch all the right places in my brain” he shrugged, licking his lips.

“i love poe too. i went to a summer camp this summer about him and it wa...” 

xavier let your words run through his mind as he focused on your excited expression, talking about something you were so keen on.

both of you sat now next to each other, rambling about nonsense, enjoying the other’s company, your assignment long forgotten. 

✩✩✩✩

and so the two of you had to meet again the next day and over the weekend, rushing your assignment.

but neither of you minded it. you grew closer, learning about each other. xavier found out about your passion for astronomy and your connection to the night. and you learnt about his relationship with his dad and his coping mechanism: painting. you’d even seen some of them, and you were captivated by them.

 he showed you his ability and he’d swear your reaction was his favorite thing ever. how your eyes widened in suprise, lips parted slightly, an amazed smile making its way.

and he told you about his visions. he trusted you enough. 

✩✩✩✩

“and, you know, sometimes i have dreams, but they’re real. the people, the creatures are real” he said, almost a whisper. 

you two were walking around the school’s surroundings, october’s cold breeze hitting your rosy cheeks. 

“like visions?” you asked

“sort of. the scenarios are barely real, but the people i see are. and lately, this girl has been appearing”

“is she a sleep nymph? i heard of them once, they’re pretty cool” he could feel your eyes piercing him as he looked forward.

“no, no, i don’t think she is. at first i thought she was just something i imagined, but then i saw her” he looked down at you as he spoke. 

“what were your dreams like?” you softly posed the question.

“i saw her, laying down under the stars. i could only see her in a blue palette. and then, i saw her memories. and i just can’t get her out of my head” 

you went quiet. he feared he’d scared you, and he was about to start rambling apologies when you stopped walking and took his hand. 

“xavier?” you looked up at him “am i the girl that you dream of?”

his heart skipped a beat. he wanted the ground to swallow him. he couldn’t scape.

“how’d you know?”

“i’ve been seeing you too. in the stars.”

he stared at you blankly. so he hadn’t creeped you out. he finally reacted, smirking.

his hands made his way to your face, holding your cold cheeks. you looked up at him, hands around his neck. he wanted that moment, that sight to last forever.

he leaned down and kissed you for an instant. he pulled away, just to watch your features before you pulled him down and kissed him again, loving the feeling of his lips on yours, like they were made for each other. 

[copiasblair]

call out in the middle of the night (for when else would i hear you?)

summary: blair has a nightmare and wakes to copia still working early in the morning, and seeks him out for comfort.

relationships: blair (self-insert) x copia

warnings: none, this is complete self-indulgent tooth-rotting fluff that's probably a liiiiittle ooc but hey. i haven't finished a writing project in so long let me have this

A/N: blair is half-ghoul so that's why they have horns/a tail/etc. also they're feminine but use they/it and they're not a girl, do not misgender them. cross-posted on ao3.

[okay to reblog!! don't interact if you ship romantically with papa emeritus iv]

Blair woke with a start, their heart racing as their eyes darted around, their tail furiously whipping behind them, ruffling up the sheets even more. They couldn't remember the details of the nightmare they had been having, all they were aware of was a deep seated anxiety making them feel as if the room was caving in.

They don't even remember dozing off, the DVD player logo bouncing around the TV screen at the end of the bed signalling that they must have fallen asleep after putting on the movie they had picked out. Thinking back to the stress of their nightmare, they put two and two together. 'Perhaps putting on a horror movie right when I was starting to get sleepy wasn't the best idea,' they thought to themselves.

Although admittedly, they had not planned on spending the evening alone. They had put on the film in the first place to pass the time, waiting for their husband Copia to come back to their shared quarters, as preparations for the upcoming tour had left him working long hours. They knew the work was important, but they still found themself wishing he wouldn't push himself as much as he did, even if for the selfish reason of getting to see more of him.

Still reeling from the nightmare, although struggling to recall any details, Blair was further saddened by glancing over to their husband's side of the bed to find it still empty. They glanced at the clock against the far wall. 1:38. He was still working? Their heart aches at the thought of their husband still slumped over his desk, worrying that he might have dozed off still in his paint, likely going to wake to an earful from Sister Imperator, rather than gentle kisses from his spouse.

And, as clingy as it made them sound, they just missed him. These days he almost always wasn't home until after they went to bed, and was awake and gone before they woke up. It had been like this for weeks now, and while they knew it was temporary, they still craved his embrace, his words, his presence.

Almost without them noticing, they stumbled out of bed. They adjusted their nightgown and négligée, stepping into the black slippers at the bedroom door, nearly tripping over Copia's tricycle by the door in their sleepy state. Before they knew it they drifted across the abbey like a forlorn spirit, possibly being mistaken for one by the few others who might be awake at this hour. Guided by the twinkling moonlight through the stained glass windows and the dim flickering candles ensconced in the wrought stone walls, they found themself at the door to his office. He had left it cracked, probably unintentionally while rushing from place to place, but nonetheless Blair simply pushed open the door which was swung open with a grating creak.

Stepping into his office, they are bathed in the light provided by the crackling fireplace, bookshelves and files carefully organized along the walls. The entire room was outfitted in his signature blue and amber tones, and smelled of firewood, leather, and his cologne.

At the opposite end of the room, they heard the quiet scritching of pen against paper stop as Copia looked up at them. He looked exhausted, the skull paint at his temples smudged from rubbing against it in frustration, concentration, or both. Some stray pieces of his graying hair hung over his forehead, and as his head snapped up from his hunched over position at the sound of the door, bobbed in front of his face, the shadows cast by the fire light dancing across his handsome visage, only enhanced by the stark lines of his skull paint. His neck kerchief was tugged loose around his neck, and his buttery soft leather gloves tugged off and forgotten. The weariness on his features seemed to fade just a little when he recognized that it was his spouse at the door, a welcome sight after all day away on business.

"Blair? What are you doing up this late? I thought you would have been asleep by now," He seemed surprised to see them up at this hour, his voice a little gravelly from overexertion over the past few weeks in rehearsals.

"I was asleep, but I had a nightmare, and I couldn't seem to fall back asleep. I just...." Blair swallowed a little, just seeing their beloved husband clearly overworked was making tears prick at the corners of their wide doe eyes, "I just missed you. I couldn't fall back asleep knowing you were still up working at this hour."

"You don't need to worry about me, my love. I will come rest when I am finished here. You see, I need to get this all filled out before tomorrow morning-"

"It IS tomorrow morning, Copia," Blair cut him off. He glanced at the clock on his desk, an almost imperceptible look of shock flashing across his features. Admittedly, he had not realized quite how late he had been working. “Are you sure you’re doing alright? I don’t want to interrupt you, I know it’s important, you're on a tight schedule and everything…” Blair trailed off, a little unsure of why they even bothered to get up and interrupt him.

"You're never interrupting me, you know that love," He sighed a little as he leaned back in his high-backed chair, gesturing for Blair to come to him. They carefully closed the ajar door behind them, wincing at the grating noise as the worn hinges shut, before finding themself standing on Copia's side of the desk. He tugs them into his lap, pulling them in for a deep kiss. He wraps his arms around them tightly as if trying to pull them impossibly closer. Blair's fingers find their way into his soft hair, no doubt tousling it further.

Copia pulls away from the kiss, paint around his lips slightly smeared, staring at Blair, their soft pale features illuminated by the amber fire light, dark wavy hair cascading down their shoulders. They look at him with nothing but pure love, a soft smile on their lips as they trace his jawline with feather light touches, as if anything more would overwhelm them. He feels their long thin tail curl around his leg, squeezing just a little. He finds himself hit all at once with how much he has missed this these past few weeks.

Blair looks at Copia, the utmost adoration in his eyes as he studies their features, as if he's memorizing them in case they might disappear right before his eyes. He buries his face in their neck, drinking in their sweet scent.

"I miss you," He murmurs against their skin, peppering kisses down their neck. Blair lets out a soft whine, almost crying from how touch-starved they had been.

"Please, come to bed, won't you darling?" They ask again, feeling the neediness in his kisses as they trailed lower, down to the pale expanse of their chest left exposed by their nightgown. Copia pulls away at their question, seemingly snapping out of his trance, the realization that he might be getting carried away brought into focus as his eyes darted to the stack of paperwork on his desk.

"You know I would love to more than anything, my doll," His hand drifts across their cheek, they subconsciously lean their face further into his touch, pressing a soft kiss to his thumb as it ghosts over their lips, slightly smudged with his paint. "But, there is still work to be done. I do wish  I could wait until later this morning, but it's not easy being Papa. It's important work, even if it is pretty demanding of my time and energy lately," He sighed and looked away from Blair's pleading eyes, knowing that if he spent much more time looking at them he would be bewitched, body and soul. They seemed to have that effect on him without even trying.

"It's okay, I understand," Blair sniffled a little, and slid off of Copia's lap as he turned his chair back to his desk. "I'll wait here for you."

"You don't need to do that, doll. Just go back to our bed, ok? I'm sure I'll be finished soon."

"No, no, I want to. I just...want to be near you," Blair sank to the floor next to his chair, wrapping their arms around his leg and laying their head on his thigh. It took everything in Copia to bring his attention back to his work, feeling intently the sensation of Blair languidly nuzzling on his thigh.

Blair knew that they probably looked incredibly pathetic like this, but they didn't care. Just being near to their beloved was intoxicating. They felt all of their stress dissipating, their tense shoulders relaxing and letting out a soft sigh as they curled further around his leg, letting the soft sounds of the crackling fire and their husband working drift them off to sleep once again.

They were awoken with their head being coaxed softly with familiar hands out of the position they had been lying in. No bad dreams this time, no dreams at all really, just a feeling of all of the sensations around them being a soft humming background noise, occasionally aware of Copia absentmindedly petting their hair, his hands faintly ghosting over their horns, making them settle further into the cozy sensation. Their eyes flutter open, instinctively looking up at the face of the man now softly caressing their hair once again.

"Hi."

"Hello."

They both laugh a little at the awkward greetings.

"I'm all finished. Let's head to bed now, my dove," Copia brushed a stray piece of Blair's bangs out of their eyes.

Blair winces a little as they start to pull themself out of the position they were in, feeling the stiffness of their muscles from being contorted in that position for what must've been at least another hour. Copia groans as he eases out of the chair had been sitting in for too long, then offers a hand to Blair, helping them off the floor.

It had started to rain in the early morning, not a torrential downpour, but enough to deter the couple from taking the shortcut through the courtyard. Getting back to their quarters, Blair would've normally just slipped back into bed to wait while Copia undressed, but their sleepy state seemed to amplify their clinginess, so they sat on the edge of the bathtub while he cleaned off his paint in the bathroom mirror. Copia paused as he finished cleaning off his left cheek.

"Do you need to watch me?"

Blair jumped a little, as if they had not been aware of what they had been doing.

"Um, well, I guess not. I'm sorry, was I like, weirding you out?" They moved to get up.

"No, no, of course not. I just thought you were pretty tired is all. You don't need to sit here with me if you don't want to, why don't you go get comfortable in bed, hm?"

Blair got up, but instead of leaving, instead came to wrap their arms around Copia's waist, leaning their head on his shoulder.

"Well, yeah, I am pretty tired, but I'm okay being sleepy if I'm with you," They reached around to his chest, undoing his neckerchief and getting at the buttons of his flowy black shirt while he returned again to wiping off his skull paint.

When his paint was finally all wiped away, Blair turned Copia away from the mirror, their soft hands cupping his cheeks before leaning up to give him a sleepy kiss on his nose.

"There he is," Blair beamed at Copia, making him blush. There was something so special, so intimate about seeing him without his skull paint, not even the black around his eyes and upper lip he wore on more casual days. In this moment, he was no longer Papa Emeritus The Fourth, just Copia. 

After what felt like weeks on end spending every waking moment worrying about prepping for the tour, working through mountains of paperwork, rehearsing until his voice was hoarse and his muscles ached, getting to be just Copia, even just for a moment, away from everyone else in the Ministry just in the eyes of his lover, it was something he didn't know he was craving until now.

He couldn't help leaning down and kissing them back, but going for their lips instead. Blair felt him smile into the kiss, and their hands reached up to push his now unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders, and he finally pulled away to finish getting undressed the rest of the way.

The two shared a multitude of "I love you"s and "I missed you"s in between kisses as they made their way to the bedroom, Copia now only in his boxers and fresh socks, unhooked from his sock garters. 

Once they fell into bed, Blair grabbing at a throw blanket to pull over the two of them, it didn't take long for sleep to overtake the couple, Blair was cozily tucked against Copia's chest, their arms wrapped around each other as if they were scared the other might disappear. Copia murmured out a "Sweet dreams, my dear" as sleep overtook the two of them finally.

Blair awoke the next morning slowly, surprised to hear no chime of an alarm, and even more surprised to still be curled up in their husband's arms. Cool light filtered through the curtains, bathing the two lovers in soft light. The rain from earlier that morning had not let up, the sound of it pattering against the windows a comforting one.

As Blair began to stir, Copia did as well, his arms wrapped around their soft frame pulling them impossibly closer into his bare chest. He let out a pleased sigh, his eyes just barely fluttering open.

"Good morning, doll," Copia's voice was still a little hoarse, both from all the rehearsals and the sleep. He reached a hand up to sleepily card his fingers through their hair, his hands drifting up to their horns to run his hands over them. Blair sighed at the pleasurable sensation.

"Morning honey..." As Blair's thoughts caught up with them, they looked up at Copia quizzically. "Shouldn't you be working by now?"

"Before we left my office last night, I cleared my schedule for this weekend." This admission clears the sleepy fog out of Blair's mind, now startled and a little confused.

"But don't you have to-"

"I'm Papa now, I make the rules. And I say, I have much more important matters to attend to than some rehearsals and meetings. I have spent nowhere near enough time with my little sunshine these days," Blair blushed at the nickname, as it reminded them of the song he had written for them. They snuggled back into his chest.

"You know you're never gonna hear the end of this from Imperator..." Blair traced patterns absentmindedly on Copia's back, squishing their cheek against his chest hair, careful to angle their head as to not scratch him with their horns.

"I can endure another lecture from her if it means I get to see more of you, my love. She is the least of my worries," He reassured Blair, and he meant it. He would risk a thousand long-winded lectures about image and responsibility if it meant that he got to make just a little more time for his spouse.

"Hey, hey, look at me," Copia puts his hand under Blair's chin, tilting their head to look right at him, their slit pupils dilating. "My work is important to me, but nothing in my life is more important to me than you. I know right now it feels like a lot, but it won't be like this forever. Know that I'm not pushing you away. I would never push you away. I love you, Blair."

"I love you too Copia," Blair closed the gap between them, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "What do you say we sleep in a little bit more, hm? Gotta get caught up on the hours missed last night, right?" Copia slotted his leg in between Blair's as they tangled in the throw blanket.

"I like the sound of that," Copia answered, and it wasn't long before the couple dozed off once again. For Copia, finally getting the rest he so desperately needed to catch up on, sleeping heavier, truly letting go of all of his worries. And Blair, they had no nightmares to speak of.

[sarahphantom1234]

Octavinelle x Reader

Warning: Yandere, OOC, Thalassophobia.

_________________

From a young age, I did not like the sea.

Or sea creatures.

I'M afraid of it.

The feeling of being pressed deeply, hearing nothing, the liquid suffocating, invading the mind, thinking that it has become a corpse for the sea monsters to eat, it is not pleasant. little bit.

I admire divers, sailors... Or simply people who like to swim.

Because of that, when I came to the new world, to the new school called Night Raven College, I was disgusted with the sea creatures of the Octavinelle family, even though they were only a few, very few.

But because of that, the Leech twins often came to talk to me, and I did nothing but bow my head to avoid looking at their sharp teeth.

When I saw it, I thought that my own body had been bitten in half, the blood was wide and patched everywhere, and a little bit of consciousness felt the pain of dying over and over again, then being swallowed. gobble.

I fear them.

I tried to hide from those two as much as I could.

But maybe it only works a few times.

They could find me anywhere, and so I was dragged to Mostro Lounge.

I heard that the head of Octavinelle's house was an octopus, named Azul Ashengrotto, imagining those proboscis squeezing me, I shivered with fear.

But what's wrong with that senior Azul? Every time he saw me, he blushed, even if it was fleeting, and then faced me like a gentleman.

I don't really care, I'm uncomfortable or "afraid" around them, but I still respect them.

Respect like the seniors.

Just like that, ticking and ticking, as time passed, I thought they would get bored, but maybe I was wrong, they liked me even more than before.

Just dragging me around, going back and forth at Mostro Lounge, I'm so bored.

But miraculously, they asked me to go to the beach to play, I quickly refused, after that time, I also tried to hide from them more.

Maybe this time because I was determined to be very careful, so whenever I met their silhouette, I would run- hide or run very fast.

Just like that, I kept on hiding, the last time I hid was around recess, because of that I left my friends and ran away, I immediately hid in a bush, crouched down. To fit the shade of the tree, cover your mouth to keep from making a sound.

I feel the chill shivering, but isn't the weather warm right now? Sneaking a little glance, the first thing I saw were sharp eyes searching for me, I was very panicked, quickly turned my head, restrained myself to stop shaking, those eyes, the eyes of ocean killers.

I swear I don't want anything to do with them, I'm telling the truth.

The flashback is enough, now I guess I have to focus on my studies as well.

So fast! It's already evening, I have only a simple dark clothes, the dim moonlight makes one's mind hazy, there are glittering stars, fresh air, how strange it looks...

I walked slowly to the coast, the golden sand caressed like a kiss on the soles of my feet, I felt all my senses, my eyes saw the calm sea, my ears listened to melodious voices like the lyre of the poet Orpheus.

But why, I can't control? My feet keep going, follow that voice and forget the way back, fear screams, but why won't my body listen?

Or is it because the songs seem to be separate but harmonize?

Oh, please make me deaf now, even if I trade the best song, I won't be content to go down to that terrible ocean.

I say that, but I still go, close to the sea, the wind creates a wave that cools my feet, what do I see in my eyes now?

Twin brothers in mermaid form and Azul sunbae wiggle their tentacles.

They raised their hands for me to catch, then gently pulled me under the sea.

My head is sinking, so deep...

They stopped singing, I was able to move too, my body moved, but they held me tight, my strength was not enough.

Just as my oxygen was running low, I tried to look up at the faint light of the moon.

Do not!

I beg you!

I bow to you!

Please don't take away my last hope, please remove the tentacles wrapped around my eyes, please don't whisper those words in my ears!

I'd rather be a flower forgotten on the side of the road, let people push and pedal.

Or vow to become a bird with its wings broken, waiting for Death to take it away.

Please don't force me to take that medicine, even though my eyes are covered, but I feel that my legs are glued together like glue, the itchy skin is gradually becoming painful, something is sticking out of the skin. mine!

I screamed, I could breathe underwater. No! This is what I fear the most, becoming a mermaid!

The tentacles on my eyes are removed, what do they show me? The fishtail with its silvery glittering scales.

I don't want to! I don't want to be the animal I fear the most, I don't want to be like the fairy tales tell, live more than 300 years and the soul becomes a sponge, please give back my eternal soul!

They pulled me deeper, and deeper, so much so that I couldn't see the moonlight shining down on this blue sea...

I wish it was all just a dream.

[blackthorn-legion-irl]

sendoff.mp4

[A mysterious video is uploaded on Blackthorn's account. No metadata exists to determine who, how, or why it was posted…]

A calm moonlight shines through the window. It shines on Den, Saffron, Fuchsia, and Cerulean, sleeping like a pile of kittens, barely distinguishable as separate beings.

A few minutes pass. Then a shadow dims the moonlight for a moment, and Den awakens. She gets up, careful not to wake the others, trying to give them just a little extra sleep. Eventually - gently, subconsciously - she starts to sing.

A second set of voices joins her for a duet - Saffron, Fuchsia, and Cerulean, the Pixies singing in harmony, simultaneously one voice yet three.

As they sing, it seems that the world has stopped around them. Not in the sense of a dark future, but in the sense of a moment of peace forever fixed in time.

A subtle glow surrounds each of the Pixies as the song continues, growing stronger, in the colour of their name. In the same time, Den seems to radiate a shadow - one of calm, as the empty night sky waiting to be filled with stars.

Before, as the song comes to its end, 'Arigato to...~' The glow blinds the camera with white for a moment, before it fades. The moon is shaded by clouds; the only light now comes from three floating wisps - one gold, one pink, one blue - and Den's red eyes shining in the darkness.

The wisps start to circle her. Faster, faster, spiralling inwards, until - a glow forms around her head. She closes her eyes, the glow fades into shadows.

The moonlight returns.

Revealing Den---revealing Blackthorn. Clearly tired, clearly damaged - clearly whole, as much as she can be. She stumbles blearily over to the bed, collapsing onto it. The only sound, her steady heartbeat.

And a trio of familiar voices singing her to sleep.

//ooc under the cut

//picrew source

and that's the end of this... pseudo-arc? i'm not sure what to call it still, but. the intro post will be updated at... some point. not sure when. but it needs a pretty big go-over anyway, so.

so what happens now? technically, blackthorn refers to the four of them, whereas den refers to den herself. in their whole state though, the two are pretty much interchangeable - as such blackthorn is simultaneously one person and four. self-reference-wise - she'll mostly use i/me, though depending on the context may switch to we/us. likewise, referring to saffron/fuchsia/cerulean will use he/she/they respectively. any pronouns are okay for any of them, though, as ever - she'll particularly be aware of plural they as an option depending on context.

while i'm noting this as it's what i use currently and thus what blackthorn will eventually stick to - she's got to work out how to communicate with the pixies first..... so do i, for that matter. it'll be easier for her though. as a bonus, the pixies also get a headspace (which i don't think i have) so i can keep making picrews of them. the irl equivalents just roll around my brain like when you have pokemon-amie on the bottom screen and get on the bike. i mean what :v

i appreciate everyone who's interacted in any way - in terms of me working out stuff irl i consider it a success also. thank you. i want to special thanks to spritemod and indigomod - while i know it wasn't intended, the timing of the runaway arc and such (even though i blocked a lot of it) really helped me with some particular cases in a safe environment, which otherwise i might not have gotten for a while. so that's a bonus.

probably when i update the intro post i'll also make a list of links to all the big major writing of this semi-arc. that might take a bit but i hope to have it done by the end of the weekend.

as for now? blackthorn's just doing her thing. helping people out, posting memes and stupid jokes... just with a little more understanding of what's going on behind the mask. (and a clearly totally valid excuse of 'no i don't have a soft side. that's just fuchsia')

[skylarsblue]

Be At Ease

(I replayed Our Life for the millionth time, and with the Baxter DLC in progress, I wanted to write something. GB Patch hired writers, and I would kill for an opportunity(that I can't have for various reasons). Since I can't, I'm gonna just write what I would put in if I had the power to because I am an absolute bitch for comfort fluff.)

Notes; Gender-Neutral pronouns used, the use of Y/N(forgive me), mild MC story imposing(I made up the job you'd have but it's not relevant at all), mildly sad undertones?? it's comfort fluff. Possible ooc Baxter? I have only his cameos and Tumblr posts from GB to go on.

Rejoining with Baxter had been fairly enjoyable, even if unexpected. A lot had changed. Excluding things like appearance, but job-wise. Y/N had gone into the hospitality business and very quickly became quite successful off of it, starting a new branch of hotels, rather than working for a pre-existing one. The first one made was, of course, situated in Sunset Bird. It seemed only fitting. With things like tourists, business conferences, and other things, it became an affluent career. One thing that brought in people and good money were weddings. Whether they chose the hotel to stay at or decided to rent it for the venue/after-party. 

Naturally, when they got the arrangements to meet with this couple's wedding planner, they hadn’t expected such a familiar face. It was a pleasant surprise though. That Summer a few years ago had felt all too short, spending more time with him was a great opportunity in their mind. He seemed to agree. Though, one thing that always stood out back then as it did in the present, was just how often Baxter would backtrack. Always sensing the risk of “stepping on someone’s toes”, as he once said. He was good at keeping it subtle, but Y/N was a bit more observant than most. They liked to think so, anyway. For every time he would get comfortable, let himself be how he was naturally, a rather charming flirt with the best intentions…He’d step back. Hesitate. Maybe it was how he was raised or maybe he had experiences in the past where such behavior got him into trouble. But watching him take so much personal effort to prevent him from just being honest with himself, well it was exhausting as it was upsetting. 

At some point, it got too much to ignore. Especially when he still did it when alone with Y/N, in his own apartment no less.

“You carry yourself so tensely…like you’re always afraid of misstepping.” They said softly, voice airy and light. The apartment was dim. Moonlight spilled in from large windows, it was enough to see. He stood there with his arms comfortably crossed. In his normal posture, face now scrunched up with some confusion, though he kept a laid-back smile to mask it. “Whatever do you mean?” He chuckled quietly. They looked at him with sympathy and stepped forward. “You know exactly what I mean,” Y/N began. “You’ll let go every now and then, but only for a moment. Not even a minute later you’ll freeze over again. Backtrack, worried you’ve done too much. That can’t be easy. It’s got to be tiresome.”

Baxter swallowed and cleared his throat. He went to speak despite not really having a response formulated in his head. They beat him to it. “Stop. Just for a moment.” He blinked and stopped himself from speaking. “Drop your arms. Let’em fall like dead weight.” Though a bit hesitant, he did as asked, still confused. They rose their hands carefully and covered his eyes, holding his face in the process. Careful and mindful of his hesitation and confusion. “Don’t ask questions, just listen. Breathe in and focus on that alone.” Y/N whispered. Not raising their voice more than that. It would break the peace of the air around the both of them.

It was quiet. Occasionally, there was a passing car, the rush of wind past windows, but specifically was the distant sound of the sea. The apartment was close to the beach, one of its features, the view was as beautiful as the sound. Baxter wasn’t much for doing things like swimming or surfing like Cove was, but he did find some peace in the ocean. Albeit a different kind of peace. It used to remind him of tense fishing trips with his father, something he wasn’t very good at, nor was it something he was really interested in to begin with. But with the arrival into Sunset Bird for that one Summer, his opinion of it changed. Now he considered it a holder of fond memories and a time of independence and acceptance. And aside from that, there was their voice. Maybe he was biased in finding that sound the most favorable. He heard them mutter to keep his eyes closed as they removed their hands, he listened, feeling them briefly brush his bangs from his face. A delicate act that held nothing but sweetness, and though embarrassing, it was enough to make his heart stutter. If only for a moment. Gently placed hands rested on his shoulders, and he tensed momentarily. “You don’t have to be so perfect all the time.”

“You’re meticulous, you were taught to be, I know that. But I’ve seen those moments where you lighten up, loosen the reins, let yourself breathe. Then you pull yourself back again. Don’t do that, not right now.” They insisted. Their voice was warm like the Summer air outside. They applied the tiniest amount of pressure on his shoulders, barely noticeable, a light signal to let them drop. That coupled with the words of encouragement helped them loosen further. Though just a few moments ago, Baxter was certain they were already as relaxed as they’d get. “Don’t put any effort into it. You’re in your own home. No one is here to judge your movements, you’re not being scored. You’re just here. And it’s only me…” His face twitched with a frown for a moment. Not out of anger or annoyance, but a bit of sadness. He knew he was like this, if subconsciously, but he figured he hid it well. There was a bitterness to the note that someone noticed. Even if it came with an aftertaste of sweetness. They had cared enough to notice.

The same gentle hold from his shoulders rose to his face again, cupping it lightly, grazing their nails over the skin. Making him shiver slightly. Warm palms against his cheeks, a mild pressure against his cheekbones applied by their thumbs.  “Take a deep breath.” With their instruction he did so, it was a bit stuttered, shaky. “Let the stress leave with it…” Y/N added. “Let it all go.” The effect was strange and sudden. For just a moment, his body went slack completely. Everything melted for the quickest second, leaving his knees weak. Not enough to fall, but enough to stumble slightly, ultimately ending with him leaning forward. They essentially caught him, moving their head to the side to let his forehead rest on their shoulder. Without missing a beat, they adjusted their posture to let him have better support. One hand rested on his shoulder blades, the other delicately brushed through his hair. Ensuring he wouldn’t fall and more importantly, he wouldn’t be left vulnerable on his own. Y/N whispered reassurance and praise, it kept him from freezing over again.

“There you go…just let it leave. It’s alright. You’re okay. You deserve to feel at ease.” Baxter let out a shaky sigh and wobbled a little where he stood. But it was nothing but pleasant, completely light. As if a ton had suddenly dropped off, a weight he had been so used to, he didn’t know was there. He’d lived with it for so long that he hadn’t even noticed. People could get used to anything eventually. For a brief moment, he wondered if they’d somehow used magic to get him this way. Even though that concept was completely ludicrous. He brushed off the thought quickly. He didn’t want to think, not yet, he had plenty of time in his life to overthink his hours away. Staying like this…this was nice, and he couldn’t help but indulge in it. For a while anyway, after all, they said he deserved it.

[inklingofinspiration]

maple-leaf laden breeze .

you have me.

until every last star

in the galaxy dies,

you have me.

illuminae, 232.

___

word count: 4.6k!

warnings : mentions / descriptions of injuries, blood, gore, violence, death, angst, etc.  also not proofread 

pronouns used : they/them – gender-neutral.

inspiration / prompt used : as you cupped his face with your hands, he could practically feel his heart cracking under the utterly tender, gossamer pressure your gaze held; you pierced his soul like a single sliver of moonlight would through a canopy of swirling mist after a devastating storm.  eternal, tragic, and never once wavering.  and perhaps it was the slight tinge of salt to the air, or maybe the stray, unmistakable blazing leaf that drifted through the beckoning breeze as though a coaxing from the gods, but whispers of the things he had left unsaid in his tainted and scarred mind began falling from his lips like poetry long since forgotten and hymns that the universe hadn’t heard sung in the past millennia. 

pairing: kaedehara kazuha x gn!reader.

A/N: kazuha is honestly such a criminally underrated character, and it’s addicting how freely i can write with him.  if it isn’t made clear throughout, this takes place during the golden archipelago quest where kazuha’s memories are the main focus.  no worries if you haven’t played said quest yet, it’s not too dependent on the lore regardless, but if you have, i tweaked with how it went a bit for the sake of the fic; i couldn’t find any decent replays of the quest and my memory of exactly how it went is a bit hazy, so if i get something wrong, bear with me.  i also just made reader an electro polearm for the sake of simplicity; let me know if you want a specific vision / weapon when requesting!  (please also excuse any characters I may be ooc for) [for returning readers, i’m also testing out a bit of a new aesthetic for my posts; let me know how it looks.]

“Kazuha?”

Your footsteps were slow, careful, as you made your way along the edges of the maplewood floors, one hand gently dragging along the wall to steady yourself as your head relentlessly pounded, vision making it seem like the room was practically swaying beneath your touch.  

A few minutes had passed since you and your group consisting of Aether, Mona, Fischl, Paimon, and Xinyan had been torn from the island and rifted to a recreation of Kazuha’s childhood home with the help of the magicked bonsai heirloom, but despite the ample amount of time it may have been for the others to recover, you couldn’t seem to shake the overwhelming sense of vertigo.  And perhaps it was the churning anxiety that had filled you upon realising that Kazuha was missing from the group that made the dizziness linger, but the fact that you couldn’t find him was the only thing you could find yourself concerned with as you finally reached the other side of the room.  Your hands immediately found the grooves in the screen wall, the sound of Fischl and Mona’s bickering ceasing from behind you as you felt all five of them turn to watch you shove the door aside and step past the threshold without a moment of hesitation.  

With your energy now focused on taking in your surroundings, your head seemed to automatically clear, leaving you to reach for your polearm secured across your back and ignore Aether and Xinyan’s attempts to call out to you as you slowly made your way down a corridor lined with screens similar to the one you had just pulled aside.  The wood creaked almost hauntedly with every other step you took, head swinging this way and that every so often to ensure that nothing was crouched behind the occasional crate, waiting to pounce and attack you and your friends.  You finally paused when the hallway halted sporadically, nothing but a wall and,a rather out of place looking lever just visible in the dim lighting, turning to conduct a quick headcount of your group as they all caught up and joined you in observing the wall.  

Mona was the first to speak, tossing rebellious strands of raven-violet hair out of her face whilst flicking a wrist in the direction of the lever,  “It seems pulling that is our only option.  Perhaps we use Y/N’s polearm to push it down while we all step to the side in case it’s a trap.”

You merely nodded, silently praying that whatever lay on the other side bring you closer to finding Kazuha.  

Xinyan, Aether and Paimon seemed to hesitate for a moment, sharing an anxiety-riddled look that you just barely caught out of the corner of your eye but chose to brush off when they finally fell into rank behind you as well.  You sidled to the head of the group that was practically crammed into the corner furthest from the lever and gave your polearm an experimental swing and twirl before slowly leaning forward with the tip of your spear outstretched; even with your form bent and your weight balanced on one leg, you were still just an inch short from reaching the lever.  A small huff of frustration left your lips as you shuffled around haphazardly on the sole of your boot still planted on the ground, practically able to feel the fact that you were about to fall until you felt a hand grasp your free one, the borderline flailing movements of your polearm halting the moment you registered it. 

Your head tipped to the side, e/c irises quick to find Aether offering you an assuring smile, which you returned easily before using the newfound balance Aether offered and successfully managing to snag the lever with the dulled edge of your weapon and shove down harshly, the sound of gears turning following almost immediately after.  You watched intently, slowly coming to stand on both of your feet once more as you nodded toward the blonde that had steadied you and his floating companion. 

“Thank you, Traveller,”  You managed, flashing him another smile. 

“Of course,”  He responded, both of you not wasting a moment further before turning toward the wall just in time to see it practically fold in on itself and reveal a short continuation of the corridor before halting once more, a screen that might as well have been an exact replica of the one you had pushed to reveal the hallway in the first place slightly ajar.  

“Well, what’re y’all waitin’ for?  We’ve got a samurai to find,”  Xinyan exclaimed, jogging ahead of your otherwise stationary group of friends, laughter clear in her voice as she coaxed the rest of you after her.  It was more than enough to drag you from your uneasy reverie, glancing over your shoulder to ensure that Fischl and Oz were even still with you, given how uncharacteristically quiet the two of them had been.  Mona seemed to beat you to the punch, though, which seemed to be the case most of the time, falling into step beside the princess and starting up a conversation you couldn’t quite hear. 

You knew that they could easily handle themselves, so you hurried after Xinyan with Paimon and Aether on your heels, your polearm swaying rhythmically with each of your strides all the while as you approached where the guitarist stood, apparently trying to get a glance into the room before barging in, given how she had her back turned toward you, practically standing on the balls of her feet to try and see over something that you could only guess was blocking her line of sight.  She turned to you as you approached however, her voice dropping to a cautious whisper, 

“I think there’re people in there.” 

You looked over your shoulder to confirm that Paimon and the male had heard, the three of you sharing a subtle nod in agreement as the two of them drew their weapons while you summoned forth a bout of electricity that you could feel practically sparing beneath your fingertips in response.  Xinyan nodded once more, mouthing a countdown and pivoting on her heel to shoulder the door open the moment she reached three.  

Drafts of sunlight illuminated the room that you quickly discovered was a dojo of sorts, given the various swords pinned to the walls and the cushioned mat floors, taking in at least six samurai that you typically found guarding the outskirts of Inazuma bristling at your sudden arrival.  Adrenaline instinctively began coursing through you, sizing up the pyro-wielders all the while. 

The terse silence didn’t last longer than a few skipping beats, shattered by an unintelligible order one of the samurai barked that made the rest of them instantly charge forward, faces obscured by their armour and the beginnings of their attacks.  You didn’t waste a second; you darted toward the closest one, slamming the end of your polearm into the floor and using your own momentum to launch you forward, careening straight into their side and sending them sprawling on the floor, if only for a moment.  But you were ready for the oncoming blow you could have seen from a mile away, ducking to avoid the searing nick of their flames and heated blade just by an inch, a frown taking residence on your features as you did so.  In your crouched position, you swung your spear so that it slammed right into the back of their knees, once again sending them stumbling to the side and allowing you the opportunity to call upon the crackling electricity and make it limn your lithe and fluid attacks. 

The sharpened blade of your polearm found purchase in one of the ridges of the knight’s armour, repeatedly sending jolts of your electricity through the tip to further daze your opponent before you leapt upward swung it in a flourishing arc to pierce through their back and make them fall to the floor a moment later.  

You were barely given a moment to recover, sides heaving and sweat beading along your forehead, when you came face to face with another of the pyro-samurai.  He didn’t seem too pleased at the sight of his fallen companion, the sound of his sword drawing making you nearly scoff. 

“If you wanted a turn, all you had to do was ask.”

And then alloy enforced silver met steel as you parried each of his oncoming blows.  Your movements might as well have carried the blessing of the wind, each bound swift and agile while your attacks were calculated and never once hesitating; continuously flowing and devastating.  You practically had the other backed into a corner within a few minutes, each twist and flick of your polearm and sparking shocks bringing you closer and closer to victory. 

All up until another electro samurai managed to creep up on you and slice through the right arm of your traditional Inazuman robes to create a searing gash that stretched from your shoulder to your elbow.  Crimson flowed in unforgiving rivers, the sting of his electric-charged sword as it slitted your skin almost enough to blind you as you stumbled backward and bit back a curse as pain blinded you.  Your polearm hung limply at your side, your free hand coming to clutch your injured arm and wince as you heard the slow, predatory steps of your unexpected opponent approach.  Your pulse was thunderous, drowning out even the clashes of your friends’ weapons against the samurais’ and the grating sound of electricity flaring against the heat of fire.  You could feel the ghostly murmur of electrified steel cutting through the tangibly thick air, your grip on your weeping wound tightening, praying to whoever may have been listening that this was the slim chance you survived. 

However, just as you heard the threatening riff of electricity dancing along the samurai’s sword, you risked a final glance just in time to see Mona twisting out of the way to avoid the oncoming attacks of the pyro samurai you had previously cornered, her hand flicking hastily in your direction and a wave of hydro careening straight for your unknowing attacker.  You barely gave yourself the opportunity to blink before you were shoving aside your pain, setting your jaw and shoving yourself into an avoiding tumble just as the samurai raised his sword.  The pressured stream of water sent him stumbling right into the wall as you dropped to the floor, springing back to your feet a beat later and not even hesitating before you plunged your spear into his back.  In that moment, like a symphony ceasing an intricately woven piece at such a moment that made a song feel as though it was left at a cliffhanger, the dojo fell silent, the only audible sounds left being the heaves of sighs and pants from your friends as they glanced around the room, eyes locking every so often.  

You withdrew your polearm after you sent Mona a weary smile, withdrawing your polearm with minimal effort, hearing the sound of the samurai’s body slump to the floor almost instantaneously, before you retrieved the torn shred of your robes and made quick work of binding your wound with it efficiently.  You ensured that it was tied tightly, dabbing up the excess blood with the flitting ends of your makeshift bandages, more than relieved to see that it had staunched the blood flow while your friends slowly milled about the room, checking the walls for any more levers.  

You had just finished resituating your robes and dusting off the knees of your pants when familiar black boots embroidered with gold stitching entered your line of sight, to which you tipped your head back up only to be met with the sight of Aether and Paimon floating by his shoulder once more.  He gestured with a gloved hand to your bandaged upper arm, a slightly abashed smile taking residence upon his features as he spoke, 

“I’d. . . offer to help you patch it up, but I wouldn’t think any of us have the proper materials.” 

You nodded with a weary smile of your own, brushing aside his offer politely,  “Ah, it feels better already, so I wouldn’t worry too much.  Thank you, though.”  

“Of course,”  He nodded before glancing over his shoulder as Xinyan with Mona and Fischl trailing after her approached, the six of you gathered once more. 

“You okay there, N/N?”  The thick-accented guitarist queried as she observed your bicep and the blood that had dried on your hands, leaving you to nod, about to respond before your eyes fell on yet another lever they must have missed from across the dojo.  

You sidled past the group hastily, mind finally back on track to finding Kazuha once more as you swiftly approached the lever, not even hesitating as you grasped it and shoved it down, feeling the ground rumble beneath the soles of your boots and gears once again click into place, just as they had when you’d pulled the first lever.  You tapped your polearm against the wooden panel testily, flinching when it seemed to respond to the contact and jolted backward to reveal yet another winding corridor.  You gave the group another exasperated look over your shoulder and a quick wave as a gesture for the rest of them to follow before stepping past the threshold and being met with dusty shafts of sunlight pouring through the paper-like ceiling and painting the way in a muted beige light.  Crates and discarded weapons of all sorts littered the floor, faded renditions of maple leaves drifting in a phantom breeze just barely visible along the walls, every delta you observed as you slowly walked, weapon lightly clutched in your uninjured hand, hoping that the short break for your bandaged arm would help make the pain subside.  You could only pray that you found Kazuha safe and get out of the blasted place as soon as possible.

You were about to turn the corner when you heard a flurry of almost distorted voices, instinctively throwing your back up against the wall and quieting your footsteps, grip on your polearm tightening as you carefully leaned over to get a quick look at who was speaking.   The breath was stolen clear from your lungs, much to your pleasant surprise, when you stole a glance just around the bend, only to find familiar red-streaked pale tresses and unique Inazuman robes flitting about as Kazuha shifted in his crouched position, a mere few feet away from where you stood.  You hesitated to approach, however, as your eyes glossed over his mourning expression.  It was only then that you recalled the voices you had heard just a beat prior, and when you finally mustered the courage to clear the corner, you saw the flicker of silhouettes against the screen that Kazuha was stopped in front of – two of them, to be precise – and you almost immediately recognized one of the two voices.  You could only guess he was watching a memory of his unfold, given how distracted he seemed to be; so much so that he didn’t even realise your slow approach, taking in the scene all the while. 

“I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand!”  The seemingly younger figure of Kazuha exclaimed, the fret that was lacing his voice almost enough to make you flinch as you finally paused your steady steps a good two feet away from him.  

“Kazuha, have you forgotten our promise?”  The other person replied, clearly older, perhaps his father, replied, an almost cutting edge to his voice as he spoke. 

“You really want to give it all up?  But– but even if we’re having a rough time, you still have me by your side!  Can’t I be of any help?  When you were my age, you were already helping grandfather out.  Am I so incompetent that I’m a disappointment to you?  Or. . .”

You could feel your very soul ache at the younger version of your friend’s words, sparing him a sympathetic look only to jolt back to the retelling of his memory as his father whipped around to face the child,  “Kazuha! –” His tone faltered, the way his ways must have met his crestfallen expression left up to your imagination, given the lack of distinguishable features because they were merely whispers of shadows now, which only made it all the more heart wrenching as you heard the older male’s words slowly gain a more caring, hesitant limn; he released a sigh.  “Now you’re blaming yourself for all this. . . that is why I’ve failed you as a father.”

He continued, clearly readying himself to apologise, only to stop mid sentence, both apparitions of the shadows suddenly dissipating as though they had never been there in the first place.  You were startled out of your reverie at that, e/c stricken irises slowly turning to Kazuha to find him already looking back at you.  Neither of you said a word for another beat or two, the way he shifted almost uncomfortably before dropping his gaze bringing a worrying frown to your expression.  You dropped down to the balls of your feet in front of him after taking a step or two toward him, now at eye level with him. 

You gently set your polearm on the floor beside you before you took both of the wanderer’s hands in your own, his bandaged palm handled with care as you beckoned his attention back to you.  You managed an assuring smile this time, hoping that you hadn’t come across as intrusive by stumbling upon him in such a vulnerable moment.  He beat you to the punch, crimson gaze finally meeting your own once more,  “I. . . apologise.  I was looking for you and the others, but it seems I got sidetracked.” 

He bowed his head in apology, to which your brow knitted together at his uncharacteristic behaviour; no matter the situation, you had never once seen Kazuha’s calm and collected demeanour falter.  You squeezed one of his hands carefully before settling into a seated position on the floor, hoping to coax his eyes back to your own, tone quiet and assuaging as you spoke, 

“You have no need to apologise, I completely get it.  I know it’s not always great, having to relive all the bad memories, this time a bit literally, and all, but I’m here for you, okay?  Anything you need, I will do it for you in a heartbeat.” 

That seemed to be enough to get his attention, considering he slowly tipped his head back to lock gazes with you once more, his expression of tentative takenabackness making you feel as though your heart was slowly chipping away.  Your understanding smile overtook your features in hopes that it would make him feel at least a bit better.  He released a shaky sigh, the telltale glimmer of tears forming gilding his eyes in an almost silver light, watching as he fumbled with his words and attempted to conceal his faltering hold on his facade.  

Your hands were moving from his own before you even realised it, fingers carefully dancing along his cheekbones to wipe away the stray tears that had fallen from his lashes before you shifted just a bit closer, now raised on your haunches as you took his face in your hands.  Once again, a subtle air of surprise passed over Kazuha at your sudden actions and the careful movements that held nothing but pure, gentle affection you made as you held him, making your shoulders rise and fall as you drew in deep breaths; a silent gesture for him to follow your actions. 

[brief switch to kazuha’s pov]

As you cupped his face with your hands, he could practically feel his heart cracking under the utterly tender, gossamer pressure your gaze held; you pierced his soul like a single sliver of moonlight would through a canopy of swirling mist after a devastating storm.  Eternal, tragic, and never once wavering.  and perhaps it was the slight tinge of salt to the air, or maybe the stray, unmistakable blazing leaf that drifted through the beckoning breeze as though a coaxing from the gods, but whispers of the things he had left unsaid in his tainted and scarred mind began falling from his lips like poetry long since forgotten and hymns that the universe hadn’t heard sung in the past millennia.  Silent murmurs of all the things he still wanted to say to you. 

He followed your unspoke instructions, his originally shallow breathing slowing to match yours – anything to keep all your attention on him in that moment.  He couldn’t quite recall when he’d become so fervently greedy, but perhaps discovering something that you truly desired could turn your entire personality around on a moment’s notice.  

As you both relaxed once more, your hands still acting as his gentle and mindful tether, his warding from the thoughts that were surely waiting for just the right moment to overtake him once more, he couldn’t help the brief moment in which his eyes slipped from your gaze and to your lips, an almost unrecognisable pull practically shoving him to make the move that had been on his mind since the moment he had met you. 

Over the months that the two of you had grown closer, you had slowly begun to slowly circle one another, the fleeting touches and prolonged eye contact – such cliches that he’d read a hundred times over in poems, novels, short stories, and yet, when it came to you, those moments could only be labelled as indescribable and heart stopping.  You were in a constant cycle of making the final move in an unfinished chess game, unsure of whether you either wanted to find out what awaited you once you finished it.  

Perhaps this was the moment in which the flourishing and prolonged dance along a constantly wavering line ended.  At least, he hoped so. 

It all came rushing back to him at once, as though his brief reverie spent reminiscing on your previous interactions had somehow stopped time in its tracks, not even risking a glance back up to your eyes in fear that he would see an expression of fear or disgust on your face rather than a reciprocation of the tender one he had managed just before he leaned toward you.  And when his lips finally met yours, he could have sworn to Celestia and back that he felt your electro vision sparking flecks of stardust across the panes of his face.  

Rather than you immediately pulling away as he had feared you would, you instead went stiff for a moment, making him second guess his actions and nearly pull away himself until you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck and returned the kiss tenfold.  All the lingering feelings that had put him on edge being back in the place where his childhood had been turned upside down right over his head dissipated and for the first time in years, after all the time spent wandering the nations, grieving all the losses he’d come to know and the futures that could have been, he felt as though he’d finally found a place to call home.  

Not on the other side of the screen, where his father stepped down from the role as his guardian that he hadn’t been too good to begin with. 

Not seated on the carpet where he’d played marble checkers for hours on end to occupy himself while the clan of his family met and discussed coming events and brewing conflicts. 

But, rather, with you.  Your arms wrapped around him and holding him so closely with more care than he could have ever remembered anyone taking the time to show him in years – as though he was the most precious thing to you and he basked in such a notion.  It made him sick to think that the lack of attention paid to him as a child had made even the thought of affectionate touch such a foreign concept but one that he had craved nevertheless; a carnal thought that practically rotted away his heart by the second.  But there was the underlying gratefulness that he’d be able to experience it, all of it, with you for the first time.  It made it special, tethered his soul to yours in every sense. 

Slowly, hesitantly, his hands came to place themselves at your hips, returning your fleeting touches as his fingers danced along the small of your back, never settling somewhere for too long.  

After a few beats longer, you both drew back, gasping for air, his hands still at your hips, your arms still around your neck, before your eyes locked.  When he’d imagined this moment, the way he did a million times over just as he was drifting on the verge of sleep, he always thought he would say something to you – recite the verse of a sickening love poem to bring a smile filled with laughter to your face, or perhaps those three eternally romanticised words would bloom in the air like the first blossoms of spring.  Instead, silence followed.  And he couldn’t have wanted it another way. 

[switchback to [name]’s pov]

You could practically feel your soul slipping from your body the moment you and Kazuha parted from each other, air filling your searing lungs only for it to hitch in your throat the moment your eyes met his once more.  Your hand had slipped up to gently hold the side of his face, a soft smile gracing your lips before you leaned in and gently pecked his cheek, this time standing up as you pulled away and offering him your hand as he climbed to his feet as well.  He took it, glancing between your intertwined fingers and to your unwavering grin, returning it after a beat, and he looked as if he wanted to say something, the words nearly ready to flutter in time with your heartbeat from his parted lips, only for the two of you to jolt up and away from each other as you both felt a hand clamp on your shoulder and Xinyan’s voice exclaim loudly in triumph, 

“Ha!  Told ya’ I’d find them first, Aether!”

You looked over your shoulder in time to see the rest of the group file through the corridor you had come just a few minutes before – how long had it been?  Time seemed oddly obscured in this wayward memory-scape.  The traveller offered you a kind smile before looking to Xinyan as she called out to him, a soft laugh sounding from him and a scoff of disapproval from Mona.  

“Must you be so loud?” 

“Loud?  I’ll show ya’ loud!”

You could only roll your eyes and meet Kazuha’s gaze over Xinyan’s head as the wave of bickering surrounded the two of you, the final scraps of the serenity from your shared moment not too long ago still remaining through all the discord.  The smile the two of you wore seemed to allow a small window for Aether to read into, silently herding the rest of the group away from you and allowing you a final moment of understanding silence before heading off with the rest of your friends to find your way out of the labyrinth of memories, but rather than facing ones that seemed daunting, you held your head high at the thought of the ones you’d just experienced. 

—

A/N: the ending is literally so bad !!  but this has been sitting in my drafts for months and wanted to wrap it up.  lmk if i should do a part two?  maybe of reader’s memory scape??  It’s been a while since the event, obviously, so i’m not gonna remember all the technical terms, unfortunately.   have a great day/evening, thank you so much for reading, it means a lot!

[nemeseos-noctua]

THIS IS FOR AETHER AND ALBEDO PLS--

May I request for a shy S/O that wants to kiss a certain area (For Aether: his tummy, For Albedo: the spark on his neck) they're just oddly attracted to it and wanna bury their nose against it I'msosorryifthisisweirdaha :"D

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: aether, albedo (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: albedo and aether might be a little ooc? does aether even have a character? also not proofread (is that even a surprise anymore)

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: once again written at 12am! 12am is writing time yall idk what to tell u

he honestly won’t notice at first... and he won’t notice until you tell him

i mean, don’t get me wrong— he’s definitely aware of the way your [e/c] eyes trail down to his stomach... and he’s definitely going to blush and look away when you do

but still! okay! he thinks you’re just, err, looking! not like, you wanted to kiss him! or anything! nope! not at all!

(aether is such a child pls why is he like this just KISS)

“Oh, [Y/N]! Paimon and I were looking for y—“ Aether tilted his head, confused as to why your eyes were avoiding him like the plague.

“... [Y/N]?” Aether repeated once more, waving his gloved hands in front of you as you cleared your throat.

“Ah, Aether! Yes, did you need anything?” You responded, still looking away from the Traveler as he raised his eyebrows.

shuffling to the side so he can stare at you fully, you kept craning your head away from him no matter how much he moved into your sight

cupping his gloved hands over your cheek, aether tilted your head to gaze into his golden orbs, its hues flickering with confusion as paimon’s barfing noises could be heard behind the blonde

“I was going to ask you if you wanted to do my commissions with me... but is something wrong?” He asked, completely oblivious to the way you struggled to not stare at the skin below his croptop... was Aether always this fine?

“Nope! Nothing at all!” You tapped the side of your thigh anxiously, waiting for Aether to let go of you— which he cautiously did.

“Okay... but if something’s wrong, be sure to tell me, okay?” Aether spoke softly, his worry sending your heart aflame as you stiffly nodded.

you felt so bad for staring at aether (even though he was your man) but PLEASE did he have to be this fine?!

you. you can literally see his abs. like. the outline. like. like, like—

anyways!

after the two of you completed your commissions and checked in for the night, you waited until paimon left to eat everything at good hunter to confess your embarrassment to aether

look. if you were gonna stare, you were at least going to make aether aware of such beliefs... because, it was kind of embarrassing otherwise

“Ah, Aether...” You looked away, edging slowly to your side of the tent as the blonde merely hummed, staring up at the roof of the tent.

“Yes?”

“Sorry.”

“Huh? For what?” The Traveler turned over to you, gazing at you in confusion as you fiddled nervously with your fingers.

“Ah... uh, for staring at you.”

Stifling a laugh, Aether merely gazed at you and all of your adorable-ness. Why were you apologizing? You were literally his s/o! 

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean anything of harm,” The male reassured you, a comforting smile painting his features as your mind blared the most embarrassing thought ever.

I want to kiss you. You thought.

“You can.”

“What?” You yelped, eyes wide as Aether avoided your gaze, his cheeks dusting with a blush so soft he looked like a calla lily under the dim moonlight.

“No, wait! I mean—” Covering your face with your hands, both Aether and you were short-circuiting.

if you really want to kiss his stomach, you’re going to have to tell him... cuz aether ain’t the brightest when it comes to romance cues! 

you wanna kiss him? sure! you wanna kiss his stomach? su—wait what?

“... i wanna kiss your, eh... stomach,” you manage to stifle out before faceplanting into the floor of the tent. why? why?! NANDE NANDE NANDE NANDE— (jk lol)

aether was silent. i mean, not that that’s new or anything, but you could hear crickets

“i... okay!” aether sat up, his face exploding a bright red it matched the fire outside

“no! aether! you don’t have to—“ 

pulling you into his chest, aether looked away from you, closing his eyes as if all of his embarrassment would go away

“Eh?! What the heck is going on here?!” Paimon whisper-screamed, stumbling into the tent— only to see the sight of you and Aether’s limbs tangled together, your head resting atop the blonde’s toned stomach.

“Blegh!!” The mascot rushed out of the tent, vomiting at the sight of her companion being all lovey-dovey.

Disgusting!

he’d notice you staring at his neck pretty quickly

he’s very perceptive, thanks to his alchemy and him having to observe the tiniest of elemental reactions—you staring at the star on his skin is no biggie

in all honesty, he’d find amusement in teasing you about how obvious you’re being. like, oh? you want to kiss his neck? why don’t you tell him so? 

BUT HE MEANS IT ALL LOVINGLY! 

it’s okay. just kiss him fr and he’ll shut up 🙄🙄

“Is something the matter, [Y/N]?” Albedo quipped smugly, watching your eyes avoid his as you fiddled nervously with the pencil on your table.

“Nothing.”

“Hmm... is that so?”

Finding amusement in your hesitance, Albedo resumed his studies. The hour hand of the clock seemed to move quickly—too quickly for the alchemist to comprehend. He swore the sun rose just two hours ago! What did the clock mean it was midnight?!

Sighing for the nth time, Albedo pinched the bridge of his nose, staring at the letters that scattered the pages, your figure moving like a candlelight in the peripherals of his vision. 

Tugging at the hem of his coat, the alchemist turned towards you in an uncharacteristic confusion. Albedo was so used to knowing the ins and outs of everything he laid his eyes upon—it was a part of being an alchemist— but when it came to you, it seemed as though you were some kind of unreadable book that’d take years to translate.

But perhaps, that was your charm. 

“albedo needs some sleep” you thought, getting up to usher him to bed

knowing he would decline your invitation, you mustered up the courage to do the unthinkable:

kiss his neck.

“You need some rest, Albedo,” You hummed, resting your chin on his shoulder as the alchemist swore he melted. If it were under any circumstance (if he wasn’t experimenting), he would’ve obliged in a heartbeat. But right now, he was busy! He was about to make a scientific breakthrough and—

The “I can’t,” that was about to slip from his tongue was quickly swallowed back down. 

His teal eyes widened once your lips came into contact with the star on his neck, his adam’s apple hanging right above the galactic pattern as his face exploded in a red cascade of blush. 

“Okay, I’ll go to bed first,” You shuffled to the bedroom, your footsteps clumsy from the way your mind fogged over with embarrassment, joy, content, and anxiousness.

Covering his nose and mouth with the back of his arm, Albedo straightened up—still suffering from a severe case of love.

Agh—why did you have to do this to him?

Resting his elbows on the table before him, the alchemist stared blankly at the wooden material, the redness on his face never leaving.

Just how was he going to experiment now?

— constellations!

[xsamsharons]

there's a light - k. brekker

pairing: kaz brekker x reader.

genre/warning: a slight mention of a scar but fluff!

words: 1.2k.

summary: ketterdam was said to be the darkest of places. however, in your opinion, it's just a matter of knowing where to find the light.

Ketterdam was a strange place to call home. The never-ending sound of gunshots, the smell that came from the streets and the amount of people willing to do almost anything for money, all served as reasons to explain why the city wasn’t for everyone. However, if you are lucky enough, you’ll find something or someone in the city that reminds you not everything is darkness.

“I really don’t get what your obsession with sitting on windows is.” you heard a voice say from behind you, a voice you didn’t have to turn around to know who it belonged to.

“Yet you always seem to join me when i come here.” you replied, as you felt his body move to the opposite side of the window you were sitting on.

It was raining, so that meant the city got a break from the action for a night and the streets looked deserted for once. Every street corner told a story, and while the dim glow of the moonlight has tried not to shine on it and the water that comes with the rain has tried to wash it all away, you could still see it if you looked hard enough. You could see it on the pavement- every forgotten newspaper, every drop of dried blood and every broken cobblestone. You could see it on the walls that framed the thin corridors and you could see it in the wind as it blew through the city and took every disregarded memory with it. Most importantly, you could see it from above. The height gave you the opportunity to see every roof in which two lovers shared a last goodbye- hidden from their enemies, you could see every balcony door that was closed in hopes of keeping the rain out of their home. And if someone were to look up at that very moment, they would see two people using meaningless words to fill the room, while they danced around the truth and hid the depth of their feelings.

“Well, it is my room after all, you know?” he asked, with a slight raise of his brow while meeting your gaze.

“It’s the tallest one.” you shrugged. As you turned your eyes away from him to look out the window, you could feel his still on you, making your cheeks grow hot. Was it from embarrassment? Were you flustered? Or were you simply too tired? You preferred not to know. He noticed, despite your efforts to hide it with a small smile and a cheeky comment. “You know, a painting would last longer.”

“Could say the same about the city below us.” He challenged. “How was it you put it once? Paintings don’t tell stories as well as once sight?” he continued and you smiled, glad to know he remembers the things you tell him.

“And which stories would a painting of my face not be telling?” you asked, as you turned to face him with an amused smile on your lips.

“Well, for one, the scar you got on your first job as a member of the crew- above your eye but half hidden just below your eyebrow. The uneven lengths of different strands of your hair because you let nina cut it one too many times. That one mole that is so far up your forehead, it gets hidden by your hairline unless you tug your hair backwards. The little scratches on your hands because you refuse to give up trying to learn how to flip knives.” He listed as you held your breath, eyes wide at the possibility of finally admitting to each other what you’ve both known for a long time. “All these little stories wouldn’t show up on a painting, knowing them is a result of observing someone for minutes on end, everyday, until you feel like you’ve only been put on this earth to admire them.”

“And you do?” you asked, watching as he walked closer to your spot on the window, leaving his corner. All while keeping his eyes on you. “Observe and admire me, i mean.”

“I do.” He nodded.

“Because i’m a member of your crew and you need to keep an eye on all of us? You once said staring at everyone on the ranks had become second nature.” You tried, noticing how close the two of you were now that he had stopped walking towards you. You saw the corner of his lips quirk to the side, which was the closest you got to a smile with Kaz Brekker.

“But i didn’t say stare, did i?” he asked “What did i say?”

“Observe.”

“And?”

“And admire.” you finished with a whisper, struggling to meet his gaze.

“You think I observe and admire Matthias?” he continued, the same amusing quirk of his lips on his face. And you would’ve laughed, you truly would’ve, if everything racing through your mind at that moment hadn’t been how close he’d gotten, and how much you liked having him near. Instead, the noise that came out of you mouth sounded more like a huff of air.

“Why do you stare at me, then? If it’s not something you do with every one of us?” You asked.

Say it, you thought, say it aloud for only us and the deserted city below us to hear.

“You know why.” he answered. And you did, god, did you know. You knew why because you did the same, because you felt the same.

And somehow, hearing him say that, so much closer to you than he’d willingly gotten to anyone in such a long time. Hearing him say that as the sound of the rain served as your own makeshift background noise. Hearing him say that as he stared at you with so much intensity you swore you could read every thought in his mind just through his eyes. Somehow, hearing him say that: right here, right now- it was enough.

You stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, trying to say everything you couldn’t with words, with your eyes. The glow of the candle that was still lit beside you illuminated his face like it was the only place it was ever meant to shine on, and as your eyes moved from his own to explore his face you realized what he meant: every curve, every line, every scar on his face told a story that not even the greatest painter in the world could attempt to replicate. Your eyes continued travelling across his face as his stayed on your eyes, and when your gaze finally reached his lips, you felt him tense up.

“I-i can’t” he uttered in a tone that could only be described as ashamed, as if he was sorry he couldn’t offer that to you, but you weren’t expecting him to. You weren’t dumb, you could see his aversion to touch ran deeper than just wearing gloves when he was around people.

“I know.” you whispered, shifting your gaze back up to his eyes. “And I don't expect you to. Not now, and not ever if you’re not ready.” you continued. “We have time, and i’m not planning on going anywhere any time soon.”

“Neither am i.” He replied, and in his eyes you could see the relief he felt after what you said.

As you turned your gaze back to the city, you felt his eyes still on you- observing and admiring you, except this time you were aware. And when a slow breeze blew the candle that had been sitting next to you out, you found that every single light in Ketterdam could go out, and Kaz would still find a way of continuing to observe your face- and so would you.

a/n: first time writing kaz so i'm sorry if he's a little ooc. anw my inbox is open if any of you have any soc requests (any character)!