#more than likely that I have covid and it’s killing me rn

[memequeen92]

babygirl are you okay? you've barely sexualized your irredeemable bastard today

DFHNFJHFDKHNHF

I swear I'm fine I've just been chatting with a Springtrap AI chatbot for the past week it's been a blast I'm having a silly little time with it I'm alive I swear

[swaglet]

hi i’m a mutual who’s like fighting hard to not relapse rn. i just moved out and like i just haven’t been eating bc i don’t have my mom to tell me to and my friends up here don’t know about my issues which im not sure they’d believe me bc im currently overweight anyways

anon don't do it do Not do it don't relapse. i'm sorry if all the posting about it lately has brought it to the front of ur mind. but seriously no amount of starving will ever achieve any type of feeling or body shape that will offer enough relief unfortunately. it will go on forever n it will slowly kill u im so serious. if i didnt starve myself i probably wouldnt have had to get my gallbladder removed because of the damage and could have just taken medicine that dissolved the stones, my heart probably would have been healthy and strong enough to withstand covid and i wouldnt have developed a hole in one of my valves from it. i was super healthy as a kid, i probably wouldnt have developed stomach issues or joint problems to the severity i have if i hadnt starved myself. im 22 turning 23 in a few months and all my doctors are like "youre just too young for all this to be going on! this sucks!" and when i retroactively mentioned the whole starving myself thing and being severely underweight for a long time they all were like oh thatll do it. chasing an underweight bmi and an ideal i couldnt fit all for nothing in the end, because it didnt even ever make me feel any better, it never made me feel relief, it never made me feel free from the situations i was in that i thought i could escape through the means of starvation, i never felt protected by it. i promise you it is so not worth it.

if i'm honest with you girl, in the long run, it doesn't matter that you're overweight. if it makes u feel any better and like ur not alone, i'm also currently overweight being in the 150s, and even though i really want to make some sort of comment about it, i'm not going to because it's just a neutral thing about my body. it's just the way my body is using the nutrients i'm putting in and reacting to the energy i'm expending right now, in addition to how it's reacting to my medications. whether or not i'm upset with myself or proud of myself at the moment, i have to accept that i'm just living my life rn and life will go on no matter how much i weigh, and my weight is just background information in the story of my life. if i want to change it, i can. if i want to not look the way i do right now, if i want to build more muscle and get rid of a little excess body fat, i can do that by slowly changing some things little by little. i can lift a pair of dumbells 10 times each morning and jog up and down the street, or even jog in place. i can make a smoothie with my protein and add some creatine to it and get into a routine of doing that every morning. even if i just do that, and only that, and nothing else, that's still a step towards changing the thing i don't like about myself as long as i do it consistently.... which is better than what i would have been doing when i was starving myself, because i'd starve for days and days and days and then eat enough for 3 grown men and feel so sick 24/7.

if being overweight concerns you enough, and you have access to a primary care physician that's affordable, you can always bring it up to them and talk to them about your concerns. it may not always bring about the best result, especially if you have a male doctor instead of a female one, but i recently mentioned this at my yearly checkup (about 8 months ago i was 130 pounds, and i put on 20ish pounds in the span of those 8 months and i can't tell if it's muscle or fat redistribution/gain from birth control or both so i thought i would bring it up) and he said all my blood tests look as normal as ever but that he'll monitor it with me while i get back to a normal workout schedule that doesn't aggravate my joint pain.

also, don't be too afraid to open up to your friends; if they don't believe you, then those may not be friends you want to have around in the first place anyway... but hopefully they do believe you. i wish u luck and i believe in u. when it's too hard for me to bring myself to eat something, i keep a mini fridge full of nutritious drinks in my room like Naked Rainbow Machines and Fairlife Strawberry Milk (With Protein) and other fuckass shit like chobani yogurt smoothies

thank u for reaching out to me and opening up... i'm proud of u nonnie u got this

[dfa2002]

a reminder

i know things seem absolutely hopeless rn, and i'm not gonna pretend like they're not. the world is on fire and people are dying left and right. i know things seem like they'll never get better and that you just wanna end everything, because what's the fucking point anymore.

i've been there more times than i care to admit, but i need you to know something both important and necessary: you need to keep going.

now you're probably thinking "what even is the point of continuing on if i live in a world where people can argue whether or not its ok to kill kids?" it's the same thing that's been keeping me and countless others going for generations: our connection with each other.

throughout all the bullshit we've been through, we had each other to get us through. from covid to protests and everything in between. we need to keep being there for each other, because if we're not, we'll actually be fucked. that's why you need to keep going. you need to be there for others. they'll be there for you in return. it's the best kind of feedback loop.

think about all the people that matter to you. your friends, your family, your partners. they've been there for you always, whether you know it or not. i know that that's unfortunately not the case for everyone, but there are people who know what its like to have no support group, and in tern, they will be there for you to help you get out of any horrible situation you're in.

what i'm trying to say with this ramble is that no matter what, you have others. others who will help you. others that will enjoy your company. others that will laugh with you. cry with you. be angry with you (in the sense that you will be angry along with them).

you need to keep going. not just for yourself, but for others. because if you're gone, someone won't be able to make it through. if they make it through, they'll help you make it through.

that's all i wanna say. do me a favor now and tell someone close to you that you love them, and have a long conversation with them over what both of you love or whatever you need to talk about.

thanks for reading. i love you all. stay safe and stay together.

[houseofbrat]

Terrible all around, for so many reasons. As a comms person I could do a series of Tedtalks about this.

Nevertheless I really pray for Kate’s recovery both physically and mentally.

Yes, its all very sad but could have been prevented with proper management. The Palace Comms Team needs an overhaul.

Exactly. This seems to contradict Kate’s message that she wanted to wait until they told their kids and now they say it’s because of a potential leak? Which is it then and why would they now blame a potential leak? Who does it benefit by changing the story now and why did they even bother to? It’s so bizarre.

I think it’s a bit naive to blame this on KP’s team. The team is only as good as their bosses and William is pretty inept at handling press

This to me has nothing to do with a leak and everything to do with Easter. They knew she wasn’t going to be present for Easter so they had to make an announcement and get out in front of it early.

This was my first thought as I watched Kate’s video. If not for the leak, they still would be silent.

The idea the rota is pushing is it’s all the public’s fault for wildly speculating, and it’s not sitting well with me. It was mostly jokes about Kate being at the Willy Wonka experience or that she was getting a BBL. Then they released the fake photo and AP flagged it.

The papers got pissed because there WAS a story and the Palace wasn’t feeding them, so they turned up the heat. Nobody was talking about Rose Hanbury until The Independent (I think that was the paper) ran that story “Who is Rose Hanbury?” and repeated the old rumors of the affair. And some other online news site ran a story asking what would happen if William committed a crime. And then you had Piers Morgan saying he has heard wild rumors and if even half of them were true, he was concerned.

Yes, there are nasty people out there who gossiped but the media help set this situation on fire. And KP completely bungled the PR response. But they need to spare us the “shame on you all” narrative.

Wishing Kate the best and I hope the people who accessed her medical info are held responsible.

It's the fake photo and AP killing it that set this whole thing into the stratosphere. Before that all noise was limited to a small corner of the internet. No fake photo and ninety-eight percent of mess that happened never would have happened. KP is responsible for the mess and no amount of scolding from the rota will change that.

Sometimes I wonder what their long-term plan was for this? Obviously Kate having cancer would mean she’d need more time away than what they previously let on, so if the conspiracies never took off and they weren’t under a ton of scrutiny, I wonder how/when they would have told the public about her diagnosis, if at all.

Considering how they’ve handled more minor health issues, like William having COVID, I just assume KP never wanted to be transparent in the first place and were forced. Which sucks for Kate but has bad implications for a publicly funded institution IMO.

I don’t think there was ever a longterm plan here. I think everyone was taking it one step at a time and trying to process and figure out what the next step would be.

I’m honestly surprised because I am sure Rebecca English said they didn’t have their hand forced. Plus there were two days between Wed and Friday and any leaks could have occurred then as well. I do think it was getting to the stage it was an open secret witch certain circles.

I don’t understand why this and the “were angry about speculation” stories have been leaked - if they’ve been leaked by W&K and not somebody else. Not going after the alternative theories with this comment rn.

Like, they do want this to die down, right? I’m assuming so, because Kate is sick. I’ve never really cared about her actual illness in this whole debacle, but cancer or not, in her shoes I’d want the least amount of speculation possible. And the “we’re angry about speculation post” before the reveal was not the way to do that. All that was going to do was increase the speculation because if there’s one thing the internet likes doing more than anything else, it’s doing behavior they’ve been told not to.

Now it’s been revealed that Kate has cancer and I think the whole slew of “you’re bad for speculating no matter what the speculation was, even if it wasn’t health-related” posts were bad because they encouraged talk about her even as they were saying people shouldn’t talk about her, but that wasn’t in W&K’s hands so I’m not gonna blame them for that. Either way, the gossip around her did die eventually.

But now they’re bringing it back up of their own accord, if this is them? Why? It was already said that people tried to access her info. If this inside source was BP, revealing this is just bad for the overall family image. It proves Harry was right once again. If it wasn’t, I guess I understand wanting to talk about the source, but it’s still giving attention that I don’t think would be wanted or needed right now.

This is what has fascinated me about the KP PR ever since this entire thing started. It just seems like completely weird decisions over and over and over again.

100% this is a situation of their own making. They literally exist to be seen- what did they think was going to happen if one of them just disappeared? They’re so angry at how everyone reacted but maybe they should take some time to self reflect and see how their own actions and life created this whole mess.

Because the PR/comms team is incompetent and their employers are stubborn with gigantic hubris.

The virtue signaling “everyone participating in the gossip and making jokes and sharing memes should be ashamed!” will never sit well with me. We’ve been shown time and again for decades at this point that their PR is very sloppy.

they're really trying to guilt trip the public for not knowing she had cancer after faking a photo documentation as an official government institution, aren't they?

look, if someone tried to access her.files that's criminal and should be prosecuted whatever. that's another issue. 

but the BRF cannot use fear of public speculation as a tool to divert us from the fact that they faked an image and tried to pass it off as real. this is incredibly problematic on many levels. not only we cannot trust them to pass on truthful info about themselves (which, with their history of throwing women to the wolves, is icky), but as british official representatives, they should be held to all possible standards.

on a personal level, i hope she recovers, her treatment isn't too terrible as in side effects and her kids are able to grow up with her love all around. 

but as someone with basic standards for media and government, and also a citizen of a democracy (in the global south, where we have been victims of rich countries' bullshit explanations), they can all fuck off with this take and blaming.

They even put out a statement around late January where they said she didn’t have cancer. They can’t be surprised that people thought something was up when they weren’t being entirely truthful.

King Charles's team announced he has cancer and just moved on, so did the public. I genuinely don't see why they couldn't have done the same for Catherine. A quick "we did surgery back in December, discovered i might have cancer, will be stepping off the public eye for a few months to seek treatment and spend time with kids" would've done it. Her team is not being asked for her to deal with her emotions in public, the public just wanted to know why she hasn't been seen from or heard from for a long time. They completely bungled this one.

[thatgirlwhokeepsreading]

[I am fine I am just saving people who don't want to see my covid venting]

Listen, for complete transparency I am behind on my covid boosters + still way more lax about masking than I should be, but I do have my reusable N95 + N99 masks that I wear everywhere bar my desk at work, students' houses*, or at home. We got the HEPA filters running 24/7 at home**. I STAY HOME WHEN IM SICK. I also remain very boring and masking in public aside I also really don't go to places where I'll be around strangers bar attending theatre (which is my JOB).

I am primarily concerned about covid, but to avoid people feeling the need to grill me I will sometimes swerve to say that my PhD advisor has bad lungs + is immunocompromised and so I'm actually not able to see her if I have ANY respiratory infection (which is also true). But also people look™️ at me in public and will sometimes directly challenge my masking, and sometimes (especially in theatre settings) I will get really pissed by this and actually grow a spine about it and talk about how not only are people dying and being disabled but also the theatre industry in Australia COLLAPSED and in order to keep my Fucking Job I NEED us to make it safe to gather in person. (Also I'm working in disabled theatre rn so... y'know... let's not kill our fellow artists y'all!!)

So this established, yesterday was the second time in less than three months that my brother's gf has come over while symptomatically sick. Last time she was fucken putting her toothbrush touching mine and everything so both myself and my brother got sick. I haven't been sick since early 2021, I suspect largely because I mask (which rocks imo), but then she comes over for a visit without telling my brother or anyone else she's unwell bc she's turned a negative RAT (it was negative RAT tests from all involved the whole illness so inshallah not covid).

That time she knew she was sick sick, and so even though she says yesterday she thought it was just hayfever that honestly doesn't win her much credit with me bc it clearly doesn't actually matter to her. And now she has turned a positive RAT and I am just apoplectic with rage. (My brother is also pretty fucken put out because she is apparently consistently not telling him if she's ill before they meet up, including when he goes over to hers.)

I am angry enough that I am waiting until I'm calmer to make it an official call, but honestly I am considering just banning her from our house. Ma'am you work in allied health what's not fucking clicking???

Like she's very apologetic and I appreciate that and MAYBE I'd be a bit more forgiving (given her symptoms were pretty mild and she does have my sympathy about trying to differentiate hayfever and illness) if I hadn't already been made "week in bed" sick by her THIS SAME FUCKEN RESEARCH QUARTER.

I also know that I'm extra mad bc at the moment she's acting as a symbol for my brain of all the people who should know better but don't even try, for the government policy that is going to kill the presence of the artform I love in this country and also like.... SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE. Like she did not individually do that. But what she has done is at best risked and at worst transmitted this fucking virus to me and my housemates, after ALREADY making 2/3 of us sick less than 90 days ago, and I'm angry I'm so so so angry.

*this is probably the really risky choice

**which has also done wonders for the asthma so that's a nice bonus

[perfectlullabies]

2019-2023 have been some kind of a nightmarish ride for me...first i got kicked out of my first uni flat (after a huge fight) and for over 3 years i was sure my grandma had something to do with it (later after she died it turned out she didn’t so i blamed her for nothing here), then covid hit and studies went to shit (and i started getting sick all the time. literally sick rn). i don’t remember what was happening then. then may ‘22 hit and my grandparents got killed, went to two funerals right after the other, had to deal with constant abuse from family members for over 6 months (still ongoing now), with the douchebag prosecutor who’s doing NOTHING for our case at all (the guy who killed my grandparents most likely will never answer for it). additionally, my parents’ health worsened a lot. all three of us have chronic ilnesses, whether physical or mental. despite that, i think my parents are doing amazing. they’re very strong people. me however, not so much. everyday is a major drag. the only reason i would not consider sui.cide is bc i care abt my parents more than anything 

[williiambyers]

Hey I completely relate to your post about the wait killing you. It hurts to think we would be getting behind the scenes and content rn. I have a hard time becoming interested in anything because my attention span is really bad so when I do like things I tend to become obsessed lol and currently it's stranger things. Everything else I somewhat like is also on hold soooo yeah. Waiting for the things that make you happy really sucks and I also support the strike but Netflix is being so ridiculous and the actors aren't getting any younger. It's really frustrating. And last season took forever because of covid ( I wasn't in the fandom then but I can only imagine fans who have been here longers frustration). Hopefully Netflix cuts the crap and everyone can make an agreement soon like you said. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone :) Hopefully next season is everything we could imagine and more

Hi. Thank you for this. That means alot. <3 We were really looking forward to May when filming was suppose to start and then it went on hold and we have no idea how long this will take. It is not knowing when it will start that is killing me the most tbh. And I agree. Stranger Things has become one of my favorite things and it really sucks that we have to wait so long for it. Netflix is really being ridiculous with all this. It shouldn't be this hard to pay the people who works for you. I read that the writers just wants 3% more than they already get. That is not alot and Netflix should be able to come with an agreement with it. I wasn't in the fandom either. I only started watching it after season 4 had come out. So like you, I can imagine the fans frustration between Season 3 and 4.

[levbolton]

It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.

Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life

My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.

To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.

I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃

thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match

personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)

tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)

fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)

thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time

[cakesexuality]

Idk how much I wanna talk about it rn and I might end up discussing it a bit further when I make my next "estrogen is slapping" post but

I got the call on Monday from the hospital

Basically, they're putting my file on hold until my dietitian and I can figure out more of the foods that are making me sick

My dietitian doesn't wanna take anything out of my diet while my ED is acting up unless we have REALLY good reason to believe it's making me sick, like she's okay with me not eating walnuts bc it seems clear that my body doesn't like those anymore, but she wants me to keep eating wheat for now bc my body seems mostly fine with it so sticking with wheat is better than risking me going down a restriction spiral

They seemed to be implying that my issue with accessing healthcare is social skills, I guess?? And that DBT would help with it?? When I said that the problem is that I live in a society that doesn't value disabled people, the social worker said "I know that's how you feel" when it isn't how I feel, it is the behaviour that abled people have demonstrated and the words they have spoken time and time again

I've had medical professionals tell me to my face that they didn't plan on giving me adequate care just bc I'm mentally disabled

People who are autistic and/or schizophrenic (and this applies to fat people, too, but I'm not in that group) are more likely to die of COVID not bc of any biological factor but bc of access issues

There was a man who went to Humber River Hospital in 2018 and got turned away after presenting with severe leg pain just bc he has bipolar disorder and they thought it was part of his mental illness after one (1) test came back with nothing, so they let him spend 20 minutes crawling to the taxi pickup, and they had a nurse stand over him to shoo him out as if he was a stray cat who'd wandered in, only for another hospital to tell him not long afterwards that it was caused by an autoimmune disease and could kill him if left untreated

Outside of the medical world, I've had more than one teacher try to deny me the accommodations that I was legally entitled to as a disabled student

I go to pride events where the only accessible bathrooms are in the 19+ section or where the "accessibility section" serves no purpose other than giving you a worse view of the drag show, and I go to Drag Race viewing parties where the organizers choose to leave the subtitles off (apparently the gays cannot relate whatsoever to being discriminated against for something they can't change about themselves)

I think I'm just done with receiving mental health care from this hospital, I've never had a good experience with their psychiatry department, I don't know anyone who's had something positive to say about that psychiatry department, and I've told my local CMHA that if they ever legally had to send me to a hospital that I want them to send me basically anywhere BUT this particular hospital if they can help it

I found another ED program who can even offer virtual care so they've sent me their referral form and I'll have my GP do it when I see her in a few days, and I'll be talking to my gynecologist and social worker this week too and then my psychiatrist next week

[shatterthefragments]

Im pissy bc after day 9/9 I have to do a bunch of yard work when I get home and any complaint is met with “when I was your age I worked several jobs” and it’s just???

Technically I have TWO plus occasional art markets AND I go to school as well a couple semesters a year and I’m tired and maybe I’m a fucking pampered prince then.

I don’t want to have to live like that. I don’t ever want to be so stressed out im having dreams where the stress is literally killing me and I’m terminal in them. AGAIN. (Thank you working in fast food while even the government was still taking covid seriously). I don’t ever want to come home and lay in bed unable to move or think or even play Stardew valley on my phone while *wishing* I had the energy to kill myself. (I don’t ever want you to know how close I was to giving up and giving in and releasing myself from my promise to myself to live. I don’t ever want to be There again)

And. Like after a day of work having to do that too… I’m probably going to fuck up any progress I’ve made through the consistency of taking care of my wrists and hands. (Pain? Just exercise more!,, but that’s more specific targeted exercises than fucking yard work)

Like I’m doing AMAZING today. But I feel like I’m going to crash and I’m going to crash hard. I came home and cooked for mum and I also did some eggs for myself bc I was hungry after work and shopping. I put away the dishes and made an actual dinner. I wiped my face. I feel like shit.

Anyway absolutely just reread some porn about it instead of sleeping. FUCK.

And the amount of checking in I’m going to have to do while I’m away :( like I GET IT I look like a girl rn (in part bc you were getting suspicious) but even though I was raised female I just. Never thought of myself like that or having to follow the Rules of like checking in when away (or for dates if that happened). Like I did send what I was wearing to a friend when I went to a nightclub alone for the first (only so far) time. But that was mostly bc I was in the states when I went.

And my coworker is sick and she’ll be back tomorrow working with me.

I would rather be alone.

If she gets me sick I won’t ever be able to forgive her. As it is I’m kicking myself for not completely isolating myself yet in my house.

(Ah i… should go go pride but I just. I don’t think I’m up to it I’ve been so overwhelmed with everything.)

Mum’s still coughing after several months but oh well. Could just be the mold. Dad too but also same. They both have chronic coughs. And I fucking hate it. How would I know if it’s different.

At least for me I don’t usually have a chronic cough unless I am quite dehydrated.

Anyway.

Bad decisions.

And I’m a bitch made of fear.

[hoomanityisavirus]

I feel like shit today.

I feel like I don’t deserve to live or that even if I did feel like I deserved to, it wouldn’t matter bc majority of my world doesn’t want me to exist. Majority of my world and my people don’t want my body to look the way it does. They don’t want my personality to act the way it does. They want to curate the content I am giving them while I exist. And instead of me just making peace with that and deciding their opinions are nothing but just opinions, it makes me feel like my brain is on fire.

I want to fling myself off a building just bc a lot of humans are unintelligent and things that are beyond their scope or perspective “scare” them into being the hateful idiots that they are.

Instead of finding differences to be beautiful or interesting, they see it as terrifying and contagious. Too bad we cant convince everyone that Covid isn’t “woke”. Maybe then these fuckknuckles would put on a god damned mask.

I hate it here. I hate that of all the ways WE CAN CHOOSE TO EXIST on OUR PLANET that we choose to force ourselves to pay, in order to thrive here. This is quite literally our world. We run it, we decide how things go here and this is all we made of it? We’ve created a capitalist hellscape so that 14 billionaires and their children can have excess and private jets while the planet physically crumbles & the rest of us starve? We let that happen? HOW? Who?

What??

Really pay attention to that: this is OUR world. Humans. Humanity. The planet earth? That’s a “human planet” when we zoom out to more of a galaxy-perspective. So we, the humans, who own, operate and keep this entire thing going, decided to work at jobs that we literally hate, that take up the absolute majority of our time, every single moment of our existence(because even when we’re not there, we’re thinking about work or the people AT work that we have to coexist with)? FOR WHAT.

This is where I get unhinged because in my not so humble opinion, humans are fundamentally stupid. You can ask any given philosopher, scientist or even someone who’s “born a genius”, they all say it eventually; humans are fucking stupid as hell. It’s why we need warnings on everything because AT SOME POINT, some idiot decided “oh this is totally a great decision I’m sure I’ll be just fine” and then they WERENT FINE.

I mean think about it, at one point creating fire or a wheel was the smartest we could fucking get. The astrophysicists of our world at one time were just: “the weirdo villagers who stare at the skies until their neck muscles seize from the pain of constantly looking upward”.

Even now the dumbest parts of us are based in “yew lewk deffernt than WHUT I want yew tew lewk I HAYTE THAYYYYYTTTTUH”

Like excuse me WHAT???

So because genetically one of us is born with pigment in their skin that’s significantly deeper than yours, THEYRE a problem??! they’ve got literally all the same internal organs as you, their blood turns red when it meets oxygen. They have hair, and thoughts and dreams, but because they don’t look like someone might be able to see through their bodyyy?? Suddenly they’re an abomination and deserve to be treated as “less than” *YOU*??

Give me a fucking break.

So because I don’t feel right having two fat sacks sitting on my chest, you believe I deserve to be killed? That I deserve to have no one love me anymore because I don’t want to create more of…this?

I don’t want to contribute to making more of us because there’s already over 7billion of us here rn and that makes ME “the problem”?

If my eyes could roll further back, they would fall out of my skull.

[lavnikgp]

First Day of the Job

01 February 2023

I honestly don' t know where to start. Hopefully, I will get better with journalling as I do this daily. I was really scared when I was walking into the office, not knowing whether I'll be of any use to these guys but it turned out FINE( Not super good....Not super bad).

GETTING TO KNOW THE COMPANY

I got an Induction from HR about the company, who explained a little about it. It is important to mention that I don't know anything about EVs or Bikes, so I am completely out of place here.

The Induction helped a little, but I definitely cannot call it complete research. The company so has mainly B2B clients, so they haven't focused much on the Consumer side of the business. (They started by selling MANTIS in Europe so I they did have a consumer-centric focus but now it's not there anymore. That operation got shut down because of COVID)

They have a good product that they are testing in collaboration with Delivery partners like Rapido, Amazon etc ( Not sure of there are the clients, but they mentioned these names)

Right now, they are in the phase of rebranding themselves from GREENVOLT to ODD/EVEN.

ODD - Vehicles

EVEN - EVEN OS Service

WHERE DO I WANNA BE?

For vehicles, they are planning to roll out a scooter, but it is not the main focus rn. The main focus right now is to make people aware of their service, which is EVEN OS.

EVEN OS, in a nutshell, is a battery delivery service to kill people's range anxiety.

To me, the company's service part seems more exciting than the scooter. Cause that is the main part of their strategy. Do I really just wanna do CMF? Right now, the answer to that question in No.

I can do a lot more than just CMF, but I also haven't explored that area much so I have to see how much I can actually do here.

COMPETITION

They don't have anyone with this kind of service as such, but they are looking at GOGORO and SUN MOBILITY as their main competitors.

There is also Ultraviolette, Ather, Matter, Tesla etc are sort of industry leaders rn.

A FEW QUESTIONS THAT I HAVE

Why are foreign brands not entering the Indian market?

What happens if they do?

How quickly would this service(EVEN OS) go obsolete?

Is it a good idea to bank on this?

WORKING ON THE WEBSITE

This is what they had me doing the whole day. It was just pure graphic design work with not a lot of freedom. They told me I could do anything, but it's unclear exactly how they want me to do it. They already have the layout and graphics ready. But they think that the graphics itself is not that exciting, and that's why they want me to do something that makes it more exciting. But I am a little lost here cause I would leave this thing a long time ago. To me, the design already works for what they are trying to do.

They certainly have certain values I need to understand and coalign my thoughts with them. I also have to be careful not to listen to everything they say. This would require me to do a lot of research.

[boowoomuu]

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WHAT IS HAPPENING IN BRASIL RIGHT NOW:

So, as some of you may have noticed, today (2/10) was elections day here in Brasil. Things are really tense and scary here, at least for myself. Right now, our president, unfortunately, is Jair Bolsonaro, a man who has openly said he supports torture and our dictature, is also openly misogynist, queerphobic, the first thing he did when he became president was putting an end to the ministery of culture, he openly made fun of the pandemic, being able to help the people in need during covid's peak and decided not to, saying things like "it's just a little flu, people need to stop being so dramatic about it", made advertisement of a medecine not approved by doctors which his supporters started taking like water, never properly wore a mask and promoted marches during the lockdown, oh, and also spread fake news about vaccines, wich made a lot of people refuse to take them, among many many maaaany other things (I'm so tired rn, it's 02:59am here, if you guys want to, I can get the sources and post here but tomorrow.). Today we had the chance to take him out of our lives, but this is Brasil, no one takes anything seriously and we always find a nee way to surprise people.

I didn't want to sleep until the votes apuration reached 100% but I'll be waking up super early tomorrow so yeah, I must sleep. Anyways, the vote apuration is currently on 99,99% (it's been for the last hour btw) but those ate the results so far.

In conclusion, I am legitmately terrified. Lula was our best shot to take him out, so everyone who didn't want Bozo voted for him, and we were really hopefull we could get him elected on the first turn, but now we'll have to have a second one where we choose either Lula or Bolsonaro. The choice is obvious to me, but as you guys can see, most people prefer to elect a genocidal man than a socialist.

I don't really know what I wanted to achieve with this post, but I just thought it was important to let everybody now what is happening here. We are comparing this to our period of dictature, bc a lot of people here still deny the fact we had one or say it was the best time of their lives and that, quoting my grandma "the history books are wrong".

I once had to research the kinds of tortures that were made by the army during the dictature for school and it still haunts me to this day.

And to see people in the streets, using my beloved flag as their symbol to say that that period was good makes me really angry and terribly sad.

I'm fucking terrified of the second turn. Things are getting more and more expensive here. There are reports of people raiding garbage trucks to look for food bc they're hungry. I am lucky to be privileged and I can still buy food, but for how long? I don't really wanna find out what four more years with him as president will do to us, but I'm scared. I'm scared to go out in the streets, and to openly say my opinions on the matter. There are also reports of people being murdered on the streets bc they were wearing stickers of leftists candidates.

Things are scary here. But please, don't let this be ignored like the dictature was. We now have internet on our side. Please, pray for us and wish us luck, we'll need it.

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[eepyjay]

Time to complain

[pepprs]

gewls…. ahm not gonna lie ta yoew. i am being eaten alive by loneliness ♥️

[slutabed]

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