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embriaguezlirica · 1 year

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descobri hoje Garota Não e o Monstro dela.

"Toma de mim a loucura

Leva os sonhos e a mão que cura

Na palma quente da terra

Dói a solidão mais do que o dente que ferra

Que ferra grosso e imundo

Fundo mais que o fim do mundo

É quando o medo me abraça

Tremendo monstro que passa

E eu vou

Com toda a calma

Sou do tamanho da minha alma

Ao encontro imperfeito

De Deus em ti

Tu no meu peito"

#indie music #garota não #monstro #idk man #I guess we'll call it cover #most certainly will delete later

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bixels · 1 month

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I'm not explaining why re-imagining characters as POC is not the same as white-washing, here of all places should fucking understand.

#personal #delete later #no patrick. “black washing” is not as harmful as white washing.#come on guys get it together #seeing people in my reblogs talk about “reverse racism” and double standards is genuinely hypocrisy #say it with me: white washing is intrinsically tied to a historical and systematic erasure of poc figures literature and history.#it is an inherently destructive act that deplatforms underrepresented faces and voices #in favor of a light-skinned aesthetic hegemony #redesigning characters as poc is an act of dismantling symbols of whiteness in fiction in favor of diversification and reclamation #(note that i am talking about individual acts by individual artists as was the topic of this discourse. not on an industry-scale)#redesigning characters as poc is not tied to hundreds of years of systemic racism and abuse and power dynamics. that is a fact.#you are not replacing an underrepresented person with an oft-represented person. it is the opposite #if you feel threatened or upset or uncomfortable about this then sorry but you are not aware of how much more worse it is for poc #if representation is unequal then these acts cannot be equivalent. you can't point to an imbalanced scale and say they weigh the same #if you recognize that bipoc people are minorities then you should recognize that these two things are not the same #while i agree that “black washing” can lead to color-blind casting and writing the behavior here is on an individual level #a black artist drawing their favorite anime character as black because they feel a shared solidarity is not a threat to you #i mean. most anime characters are east asian and i as an east asian person certainly don't feel threatened or erased. neither should you.#there's much to be said about the politics of blackwashing (i don't even know if that's the right word for it)#but point standing. whitewashing is an inherently more destructive act. both through its history of maintaining power dynamics #and the simple fact that it's taking away from groups of people who have less to begin with #if you feel upset or uncomfortable about a fictional white character being redesigned as poc by an artist on twitter #i sincerely hope you're able to explore these feelings and find avenues to empathizing with poc who have had their figures #(both real and fictional) erased; buried; and replaced by white figures for hundreds of years #i sincerely hope you can understand the difference in motivations and connotations behind whitewashing and blackwashing #classic bixels “i'm not talking about this chat. i'm not” (puts my media studies major to use in the tags and talks the fuck outta it)

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eddiebabygirldiaz · 10 months

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no one told me how isolating unmasking would be

#and its certainly...something #like i dont regret it #i dont wanna masking to be my default and i dont wanna be in pain or uncomfortable anymore #but realizing that the ppl in my life have never been exposed to the real unmasked version of me #and finding that most of them dont like that version #well its kinda heartbreaking #and dont get me wrong i do love my alone time #but im also so terribly lonely at the same time #and dont know hoe to fix it bc for most ppl relationships depending on the going out aspect #and lots of that stuff is painful for me and im trying to not force myself to do #so im just left on my own #just wasnt ready for how terrible this would be even tho its also great #autism #ry rambles #probably will delete later

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ronkeyroo · 1 year

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I’ve been so badly traumatized by people online constantly demanding my attention and snuffing me out in the worst possible ways in the past that to this day I dont know how to properly emotionally navigate this kind of behavior when i am faced with it again, even when its mild.

I’ve went through experiencing unrelenting and overbearing messaging to weird guilt trips and even (I hope to dear god my assumptions to be wrong here) people vagueing at me in such an oddly specific, hurtful manner when i dont appear to be available for their needs and it just...Fuck, it eats away at me. It doesnt happen too often nowdays but, I recognize those behaviors returning and it bothers me alot...

Its easy when its strangers unlike my fucked up now ex friends, I can just put the boundary without all of the previous mess...But I cant shake how incredibly mad it still makes me TT This inappropriate reaction to want to bite and lash out and burn that bridge immediatly to spare myself a FRACTION of the trouble, and for fucks sake i know its still the remnants of the damage inflicted upon me echoing out as self defense but its so uncalled for and im tired of feeling like a mad dog when this trigger is being activated. I really want to unlearn this behavior...

#ventful howling #Want to tell people off politely instead of growing so overwhelmed with either anger or apathy #I dont want to go into details as to why it effects me so much because my ex friends abused this so fucking hard for me and it certainly #left a mark that remained to this day and its one of the main reasons why ive been so distant and distrustful online #socializing has always been such a tough subject for me as someone who struggled with self expression their entire life #I went through all the wrong people in the past that made it ten times worse #and i feel so damn mad for going through what they put me through #i dont want their damage to sip onto my life. my relationships.#i dont want to unjustly hurt someone with the residue of my struggles especially when im well aware most people are not out to get me ;;#communication is hard...But its incredibly important to me and i want to protect it both ways #just...needed to get this out #will delete later

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shrekshugebadussy · 10 months

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started playing The Arcana again bcuz i forgot it was a thing and i never finished it (only got halfway thru Asra’s route) & i got very curious about Lucio’s route since he’s practically the dead one & how that would work and let me tell you when that motherfucker opened his mouth… yeah i knew i was in trouble 🙃

#he most certainly fits my type #i mean he’s a little (a lot) full of himself. confident asshole. troubled. protective & flirty. mischievous.#just…#i’m ngl kinda reminds me of astarion a bit #but yeah i saw an ad for it and forgot it existed & i started the Asra route again #but i had to restart bcuz i couldn’t remember what happened #but i think i stopped reading before bcuz i constantly had no coins & i couldn’t earn them thru the wheel & i kept losing the game 🥲#i get they’re an indie developer but i hate that i have to spend so much just for a special scene #but only did i now learn that the paid choices do not affect the ending so i’m glad about that #i think that’s what mostly turned me away last time #i thought the coined choices got the good ending 😭#anyways #mine #the arcana #delete later?#oof

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aphel1on · 2 months

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i get soo mad every time a new hydro character gets announced or leaked and it's not a hydro claymore lmao. idk what part of my neurotype i can blame this on but it drives me up the fucking walls that it's been this long and it's now the ONLY weapon/element combo unaccounted for

#like im not going about my day seething or anything but it is most certainly my gut reaction #would a hydro claymore suck ass to play well yes probably. not the fucking point #we're really leaving the nation of hydro without one huh #i like freminet as a character but i cant think abt him too long or i get mad. HE SHOULDVE BEEN HYDRO!!!!!!#genshin impact #aphelion.txt #hydro claymore #plsplsplsplspls just let me make things symmetrical ok. pls #once i get done building sayu and yaoyao in a minute here i'll have a fully built character of #Every single combo that exists. even tho some of them are kinda useless. cuz it pleases me #i highly doubt anyone at mhy is putting that much thought into it but i almost feel atp they are withholding hydro claymore out of spite #'Lee the whitewashing. the whitewashing.' yeah no im mad abt that too #i know they will never fix that thouhg #what is stopping them from releasing hydro claymore? nothing. fucking nothing #i have got to stop making posts that im definitely gonna delete 2hrs later #Every time i mald and whine on this blog is a limited edition special. eat it up while you can

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foolwife · 1 year

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theres a certain, for lack of a better word, Fruity quality to bobby that gyunyu understands to the deepest degree . This is the bobby fulbright that lives in my brain

#☁️txt #☀️bobby #ok the bobby in my head is like a big amalgamation of different bobbys but hes certainly influenced by theirs the most #delete later

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designernishiki · 1 year

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aight im just gonna say it. some folks really gotta stop treating nishikiryu like they’re actually related and considering anyone who’s so much as Okay with them as a pairing of being incest apologists. like. that’s a legitimately fucked up and serious thing to accuse someone of just because of your view of two factually unrelated fictional characters.

#like. i really don’t like yumi being a love interest for kiryu and think she’d be best as a sister figure to him #a dynamic which could’ve formed while growing up alongside him at sunflower. that absolutely does not mean I would start blocking #and shittalking people for being ‘incest shippers’ as if I have the mora high ground and self righteousness to do so #it is really not different. only difference is the use of the word kyodai. which is an honorary title and not inherently synonymous with #viewing someone as your Actual Literal Sibling.#like just. chill the fuck out.#throwing that kinda accusation around is honestly no better than someone throwing around terms like ‘abuser’ or ‘gaslighting’#over subjective and unserious situations #no one is asking you to change your view of them. no one’s asking you to like them as a pairing. just say you don’t see it that way and move #on. not everything is a moral issue where someone needs to be condemned for something.#tldr: don’t be an asshole #this reminds me of the post that’s like. hey sometimes it’s okay to just say you don’t like someone/something without trying to prove #that disliking it is the Morally Correct thing to do.#like for real dude.#anyway might delete this later or simplify it becuase I have honestly been scared to say anything about this for a long time #due to seemingly the majority of people considering this a highly controversial hot button issue #also sure blocking people is an option but. if you like someone/most of someone’s content and just don’t like a certain pairing or topic or #whatever that they’ll reblog on occasion you can also just. block the tag. unless they don’t tag their shit then it’s more understandable #but i most certainly do and I appreciate when other people do the same because I have one major pairing tag in this fandom blocked because #of how much i don’t like it and plenty of people I follow post this pairing occasionally and shockingly it does not bother me. because #of the ability to filter via tags. it’s really not hard #anyway yeah sorry. let’s see how fast I delete this cause boy am I scared of getting eaten alive for this Apparently Hot Take #rambling #edit: also just wanna note that this isn’t even my main/favorite pairing or anything. im not a diehard nishikiryu guy #im a diehard kazumaji guy though for sure. but I have a strong opinion on the topic because. like I said. the gravity of people’s #accusations is beyond Not Okay

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insaneillusionist · 5 months

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I love searching for mental illness tags I can pin on myself so I can fix what's wrong with me like a little checklist.

Anyway if anyone tries to suggest I might have a specific mental illness unless I ask for you to tell me, I will most likely block you or ignore that. This is one of the few boundaries I am forming, and it is a hard one.

#my random stuff #delete later #It really worsened my already bad mental breakdown and I am so close to snapping again #So fuck off cuz I know I'm broken and I don't need you to pretend there's a cure #Or that you think you know me #And I will most certainly lose it if you say “oh you have this probably” and then when I ask why say absolutely jack fucking shit #I am so fucking tired of that #And especially of oh we need more info maybe do that and then i give info and it's triggering #yes i am vaguing at this point #like yes i get it hurts and honestly i probably shouldn't have said such things in main chat tbf i didn't know they'd trigger ppl and I was #'t told but I do really have no excuse #But I am still pissed off #Anyway tell me that you think I have a certain mental illness and i'll fucking rip you to shreds #end rant i guess whatever

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pepprs · 1 year

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today is the last day of one of the hardest and heaviest years of my life (i.e. my first year in this job) and also the last day of me being contractual / contingent (i.e. not a permanent employee which has been fine but also fucked me up just in the wording of it). i don’t think the horrors will relent just yet but i hope so sincerely that they ease soon and that this next year will be kinder and less turbulent and that i will be stronger for what i experienced this year

#purrs #it’s like emotional a little bit. i keep crying. im proud of myself and im also so frustrated that this year was so hard and that there isnt #an end in sight to the hardness and that actually in some ways it’s only going to get harder. but like yeah. i survived this hellish year.#it MOST CERTAINLY wasn’t all hell though like there were some really good and important things that happened. but one year ago tomorrow was #the (known) beginning of one of the worst things ive ever experienced and im so lucky i haven’t experienced worse things but it was… pretty #fucking terrible. and it’s emotional coming up on the anniversaries like im going to be such a wreck next wednesday lol and like the entire #rest of july. but im proud of myself for surviving it even though i have not healed from any of it and am watching with horror as the wound #widens and gets infected and whatever lolllll. i just have to keep telling myself im here for a reason and all of this was supposed to hapen #and i can handle it. but the number of times i want to burst into tears every day im in the office is….. not great and i probably should be #medicated about it LOL. but i made it through one year. i can do things like that and survive. that’s cool and important to know. 🥲#delete later

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blood-orange-juice · 1 year

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1.5h spent at passport control and not there yet.

Ffs. COVID really butchered all logistics.

Upd: ok they let me in after 2h. *sigh*

#I just want to get home already #hope the train workers aren't on strike #I'll delete this post later but now I want to complain #the expression of horror on the airport staff faces is certainly something #it used to be the most well-organised airport in europe

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loveinlilies · 2 years

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I need a bingo space on my gacha game card for poc (and poc based) characters based around animals.

#man. I UNDERSTAND the coding for minorities but it most CERTAINLY isnt good in most plots #next time I see poc men as werewolves my string gets shorter at the very least get creative. or dont use it at all even better #lapin's loudmouth #delete later

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space-hair · 2 years

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girl help the old art of mine I go through has gone from ‘I drew that a year/few years ago’ to ‘that art is 8 years old now’

#kyle speaks #delete later #when i think of the art i drew as a child i'm like yea that i drew so long ago. but even the art i drew 10 years ago now feels like it #should be a year or two old. even old old art is like 4/5 years feeling but then i check and no it's 8 years #what on earth #i haven't drawn x in awhile haha what has it been a few years? 'checks date' 10 years ( 8O!!!!!!!???#time most certainly flies i'm like 2015 how long ago was that a few y-gets to my second hand as i count my fingers. whaaaaaaaa

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vaguenotions · 4 months

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Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)

Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?

#txt #might delete this later but i also might not because my irritation and rage is real and i shouldnt have to so constantly discard it #i am so tired of constantly putting it aside #i want your blood in my fucking teeth. and it's your fault i want it there- certainly- because I TRY. I try so hard not to feel this way #but eventually you get tired of those little games too #okay I drafted this for a minute bc idk if this fucker is actually spending the night or not i just know he took off his belt. BUT THEN ONE #+ OF THESE FUCKERS DECIDED TO START TALKING ABOUT SPIDERS. A THING THAT I HAVE A VERY BAD PHOBIA ABOUT. I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU #thinking of killing and maiming and maiming and killing and killing and shredding and tearing and killing and-#seriously though what. the fuck. you even go ''oh they're not gonna like this'' THEN HOW ABOUT YOU DONT FUCKING SAY IT #ohh and now you're sitting here making plans for when you go out without me next! I'm going to make you a bloody smear on my fucking floor #i am going to Dissect you. I'm going to rip you apart and feed you to the local strays and csrrion birds.#not even getting up and leaving right fucking now would assuage me. i wish i wasn't so full of fucking hate but you just keep adding fuel +#+to the fire #im so tired. I'll come back with a ''im fine now'' if he fucking leaves but im going to seethe now. im so fucking angry.#how do you fucks continually just bounce between the topics that makes me feel Most Violent Towards You? literally how do you not realize i #+ want you dead at this point? how do you not realize the grave you've dug for yourselves in my mind?#i dont fucking mask it that well. i know i dont. and still you fucking do this #((part of why it being a bar specifically that bothers me besides the very deliberate and careful avoidance of mentioning it to me is that #+*one of you is at serious risk for becoming an alcoholic. why the fuck are you being enabled this way?*))#((if i was dating someone with a genetic predisposition of alcoholism i would make your regular dates nights- idk- NOT THE FUCKING BAR +#+ DISTRICT. DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT THEM? DO YOU? This fucking boils my god damn blood.))#(ultimately its their decision if they want to fucking drink yeah sure whatever YOU DONT NEED TO REGULARLY AND READILY ENABLE IT. BASTARD.)#(If they want to drink so fucking bad- if they push for the bars- JUST BUY SOME ALCOHOL AND BRING IT FUCKING HERE. It limits how much they+#+can have for one- and it would isolate me from you two less! just as an added fucking bonus! but no very unreasonable of me. what was i +#+thinking? clearly not about them 🙄)#i might be a little out of line here. i can admit that. but if anyone spent a week in my fucking shoes back when they first got together +#+and then now? you would fucking understand.#and they just. keep. talking. to eachother. no attempts to include me. not even glances my way. like always.#''oh nothing will change'' IT FUCKING CHANGED. I want to hurt you so bsdly for that lie with ever passing day. do you even know it was a li #do you? anyway was abt to post this and noticed a gif i have of a woman ripping her shirt off so im going to stare at that until im calm ig.

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seapasture · 9 months

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I hate myself and I fuck everything up and I love clearly having a genre of mental illness that is just horrible and so divisive that I should honestly be poked with a cattle prod every couple of days because my lived experience is just the embodiment of tropes people live to see in fictional characters but in reality it's agony and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone because I will simply drive everyone away and hurt everyone

#i have hurt the person i love most in my life and i don't know what to do with myself #i'm not mentally stable enough to deal with this and none of it is on them and i won't put any of it on them because that's evil #but i feel so fucking broken. i don't want to see daylight because what's the point #genuinely what's the fucking point!!!!#please please please i don't want anyone to reach out to me i just need to fucking vent i need to just shout into a void #i don't know what to do with myself i genuinely don't know what to do i just feel abysmal i feel so crushed and awful i can't cope #i wish i could be free of this but in all likelihood i never will and it makes it very hard to feel compelled to keep on going haha!#i am fundamentally an envious and fearful and angry person under the mask of kindness and i don't want to trick anyone else because #my god haha. i think i have ruined it all haha #this is certainly one for the 'delete later'#i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry #sea rambles

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karmaphone · 10 months

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singlets stop presuming that everyone is multiple to some degree, actually challenge

#bruh there's a big distinction #does everyone experience dissociation? yes most people daydream and read books and lose track of what exactly they're doing while driving #the big distinction is SEPARATE personality states #if you do not have more than one of you in your head then you're a fucking singlet no matter how much dissociation you experience #there's a big difference between say someone with did or osdd and someone with dpdrd #can it run the whole gamut of experiences thereupon? yea. are there some people who don't align fully with either and who don't fall into #neat little boxes because that's not how the human experience works? yea #but there is a huge difference between acknowledging the level of dissociation that people experience every day and not integrating multipl #personality states between the ages of six and nine #it's a literal documented thing. there's research about it. it's not like systems are doing ALL of this in the dark #it's not like systems are out here pointing at singlets and being like You Have Exactly 0% Of What I Experience because it's just not true!#everyone experiences dissociation but not everyone has multiple fucking people inside them!!!#compare me losing entire days and weeks and remembering NOTHING except vague minute long snippets to people suffering in school from not #being able to pee when they need to #is much of our daily life traumatizing? yes. is it so traumatizing as a whole that Everyone's A Little Bit Multiple Actually? hell no #we make up 1-3% of the population not fucking 10-20 or 30-50 and certainly not 90 #I realize this comes off as super psychiatry approval-y which I personally don't believe much in but like. we'll take what fucking #scientific evidence of our existence we can fucking GET #I'm. literally Angry right now ****** will probably delete this later but jfc are you serious

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