#most of it anyway. not the last scene bc the way i use english there i cant do that in french yet

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

2 things ive learnt learning french:

i know a LOT of english words

i use a lot of them wrong

[dont-offend-the-bees]

’Cause You Cut Through All the Noise

Happy Painland Week! Day one is LOVE LANGUAGES! I could've picked touch or gifts or quality time or whatever as my love language but you know what? No. Life-affirming therapeutic domination. Edwin's love language is ordering Charles around. Fight me. Anyway, no smut here, but some steaminess/flirtation/allusions to sex. Some light angst bc Charles starts off in a bit of a spiral, bless his heart. Don't worry, Edwin'll put him right <3 (Quick translation note for any Americans reading: I'm referring to Charles' suspenders in British English, i.e. as braces rather than suspenders. Suspenders for us are generally the little sexy straps for stockings and would instantly up the kinkiness of the scene at least 70% (which I am in favour of, it's just not the fic I'm writing right now lmao)) 5.3k, M-rated, also available on Ao3. Thank you @painlandweek for putting this all together! Enjoy! 💛

Sometimes it seemed that the more Edwin learned, the less he knew. Or rather the more he thought he knew, the more he had left to learn.

Acquiring knowledge on any particular topic, it seemed, was only building the groundwork to question it further. Perhaps that's what an expert was, in the end: not a vast repository of facts, but one skilled in the art of digging for more. Not a pursuer of answers, but a pursuer of more interesting questions. Edwin had found it to be much the same across fields, across all his broad areas of interest and study.

Charles Rowland was one such area of interest.

It was quite astonishing; but thirty years into their partnership, Charles still managed to elude Edwin's understanding. Frequently. He was a lively, complex butterfly who simply would not be pinned (metaphorically, that is. In the more literal sense, he was most certainly not opposed to being pinned by Edwin. But he digressed.) They must have exhausted every conversational avenue two dead boys could traverse by now. How, then, could they persist in finding new things to say to one another? How, despite a mere sixteen years apiece of life before death, could they still find anecdotes unshared, secrets unspoken? Despite knowing Charles better than Edwin knew himself there was always, always more to learn.

And a great deal of learning had been done over the last eighteen months or so, indeed. Since the chaotic inciting incident: the now infamous milestone Case of Crystal Palace. Crystal, in all her messy human glory, had taken a battering ram to their comfortable routine. She'd rather shaken things up in the process — and thus, shaken a fresh slew of secrets from Charles and Edwin both.

Edwin's biggest secret was no longer a secret, of course. It was now common knowledge — though Charles, loyal to the last, hadn't shared it with another soul. He hadn't told anyone of Edwin's confession, nor had any official announcements been made by either of them as the 'situation' developed. But develop it had, in ways difficult to overlook. In touches, in kisses, in soft words and flagrant flirtations. Edwin imagined their friends and colleagues must have put two and two together by now, vis-a-vis Edwin and his feelings for Charles. And if they hadn't... well, it would certainly raise some concerns about the quality of their detective work.

Charles, likewise, had revealed a secret or two. Far less pleasant ones. Secrets that, in his more cynical moments, Edwin wondered if Charles would ever have told him without external pressure. Without Crystal's well-meaning badgering, or the Night Nurse's former villainy. Secrets about his family, his father, himself — or at least his own perception of himself. Harrowing they may be, but Edwin had filed each secret away carefully. Each bitter truth was a new supporting fact, a new data point. A fresh insight that peeled away Charles' brave face, and shone an interrogating light upon decades of behaviour.

Edwin had always known, of course, that Charles was not merely the plucky optimist he purported himself to be. Glimpses under the mask were rare, but inevitable. He'd have been foolish not to notice. But Edwin was not inclined to go picking at scabs. So what if Charles wished to maintain an image of himself? Image was everything; or so Edwin had been raised to believe. How a man chose to present himself to the world spoke volumes. Charles wished to be seen as a positive force, and Edwin had always respected him for that. Loved him, even, though he hadn't known it at the time. Charles' insistence on being a stubborn idealist had awed, amused and frustrated Edwin in almost equal measure. He wouldn't have changed it for the world.

But it was one thing to know that the chipper, animated, relentlessly positive Charles he'd come to know was a crafted image. Finding what lay behind the mask was another. It was a new level of understanding, of intimacy, to finally know the bedrock that lay beneath every too-bright word or action.

Charles Rowland was an inveterate people-pleaser.

In retrospect, of course, it made perfect sense. Edwin had sat with it, applied his new knowledge to a thousand interactions, and found it fitting. It had been a relatively easy fact to accept into his broader understanding of Charles.

The bitterer pill to swallow had been in realising just how often Edwin was, himself, a person Charles felt the need to please at all costs.

Edwin liked to think that their relationship had improved since those various revelations. It had certainly changed in notable ways. Especially since last November. Bonfire night. The night Charles had kissed him under the fireworks and thanked him, sheepishly, for 'waiting for him to get his head out of his arse'.

But the kissing and... other activities weren't the only new additions to their relationship. Moreso than ever before, there were repeat and regular attempts to open the lines of communication. They did not always succeed in those attempts. Charles' fear of rocking the boat and Edwin's discomfort with emotional outpourings were at odds with one another, and often left them at an impasse.

Nevertheless, Edwin was determined to try. Charles deserved nothing less; there had never been a person, alive or dead, more deserving of Edwin's trust. And it was the dearest wish of Edwin's afterlife that he could be the same for Charles. That he could be a person Charles need not perform for, or hide from. That he could be allowed to know Charles, to learn him, inside and out.

And while there was still, undeniably, work to be done, Edwin truly believed progress had been made. Through trial and a considerable amount of error, they had come to... understand certain things about one another. About what they each wanted, what they needed. Edwin was making leaps and bounds in the highly specialised field of Charles Studies.

So when Crystal stormed out of the office after another of her and Edwin's (admittedly rather petty) spats, he knew Charles needed attention before her footsteps had even faded.

"Charles?" Edwin prompted, with caution. He was not always an expert at 'reading the room', but in reading Charles he was growing more fluent by the day.

His dear friend's eyes snapped to him with a hunted look. Just as Edwin had thought they might.

Edwin cleared his throat. "Are you... alright?" he asked.

Charles, in that practised manner of his, plastered on a smile. "Yeah. Yeah, mate." He couldn't seem to look Edwin in the eye. "I'm brills."

Hm. A likely story.

He should have suspected this might happen, in the wake of such a heated disagreement. The very air in the office still seemed to ring with the reverberating slam of the door. An overreaction, really. Even mere minutes later, the whole altercation seemed rather silly. But such things were bound to happen on occasion. Edwin had certain opinions, and no qualms about arguing in their favour — and in Crystal Palace, he'd met his match. The two of them often wound up in the unfortunate scenario of a minor dispute devolving into a full-blown tiff. Such squabbles generally didn't end until someone (Charles) laughed and broke the tension, or someone else stormed off.

Edwin didn't doubt that all would be well shortly enough. If their pattern held, Crystal would come slinking back in a few hours. She and Edwin would exchange either sincere regrets or stilted half-apologies (depending on the severity of the argument). Then they would smooth over any remaining awkwardness by finding something minor to agree on (usually something Charles-related), and go swiftly back to normal.

But that resolution was some time away, yet. And in the meantime the air hung heavy; saturated with ire and discontent. Charles, emotional sponge that he was, was clearly bearing the brunt of it — and, as usual, trying his utmost to 'laugh it off'.

Edwin responded to the blatant fib with a single raised, questioning eyebrow.

Charles flinched as if struck.

Oh, dear. The situation was more dire than Edwin had thought.

“Charles,” said Edwin again, softer this time. It was important not to go on the offensive; in his current condition, Charles was liable to take any careless word as keenly as a knife in the back. “Please tell me what’s on your mind.” After a moment’s consideration, he added: “I promise I won’t be angry.”

It felt like utter nonsense to say out loud, a patronising placation as one might give to a child. But Charles, in Edwin’s experience, responded well to directness. His panic thrived in the mires of ambiguity.

Releasing a ragged breath, Charles rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. “Just… dunno what to do sometimes. When you two go off at each other.” He peered at Edwin with his uncovered eye, and tried for a smirk. It fell short of the carefree, playful expression it was aiming for. “Dunno what side to pick, do I?”

He voiced it like a joke; but Edwin was listening well, and he knew an incomplete sentence when he heard it. He stepped closer and, slowly, giving him time to retreat, took Charles’ free hand and squeezed it.

Charles closed his eyes, dragging his hand down his face. “Can’t keep you both happy,” he admitted on a low mumble, like it was a shameful secret.

Guilt curdled sour and heavy in Edwin’s stomach, but he kept it from his face. Any indication that Charles had made him feel bad was bound to make him shut down further. “It should not be your duty to keep the peace,” he said, choosing his words with care. “I will speak to Crystal later, clear the air.”

Charles nodded, but remained hunched unhappily in on himself. Propped against the edge of the desk as if he needed the support. Edwin could see his brain turning itself over and over in miserable little spirals; wondering if he should have stepped in earlier, said something else. Wondering what he could have done differently to make everything better. To make everyone happy.

Edwin swallowed tightly, and placed his hand upon Charles’ shoulder. “Charles. Look at me, please.”

He did so, without question or hesitation. Responding with ease to the polite command as if it had come from his own subconscious. Quick, and keen. Already Edwin had a strong suspicion of what was needed to calm him; but it was always important to test the waters, first.

Edwin, with great care, hooked a finger through the gold chain around Charles’ neck, and tugged.

The effect was instantaneous. Charles’ wide, fraught eyes softened, slackened, his lined eyelids drooping. His lips parted around a quiet sigh, smoother than his last ragged exhalation. His shoulders slumped as if a great weight had been released from them.

Charles may be an ever-unfolding and expanding area of study. But to Edwin’s expert eye, on occasion, his needs were remarkably simple to interpret.

Meeting his now somewhat unfocused gaze, Edwin leaned in. “Put Crystal out of your mind for now,” he said, a quiet command. “In fact, put everything out of your mind.”

“She’s upset,” Charles mumbled in half-hearted protest.

“Yes — and she will continue to be so for a while longer, regardless of what you or I might say.” Edwin smoothed the collar of Charles’ polo shirt. “When the dust has settled, I will find her and smooth things over. I promise. For the time being, you’ll do none of us any good with your overthinking.”

Charles snorted. “Overthinking? Me?” he joked.

With another gentle, but recriminating tug of the chain, Charles gasped and quieted. Already, his bright eyes were taking on a dreamlike haze.

Edwin sighed and leaned close, ‘til his nose grazed across Charles’ cheekbone. “Granted, your tendency to underthink before making dangerous choices borders on the pathological,” he teased. “But I suspect you’re thinking a lot of very unkind thoughts about yourself right now, and I’d like for you to stop. Please.”

Breath shuddering, Charles’ hands lifted, fisting in the front of Edwin’s waistcoat.

“That what you want?” He asked, his voice a small and broken thing. For all his strength of body and character, he felt as vulnerable in Edwin’s hands as a baby bird.

“How about I tell you exactly what I want for a while,” Edwin offered. “And then all you have to do is listen.“

He delivered a swift, dry kiss to Charles’ cheekbone. "No detective work required.”

It was a very simple solution, albeit one Edwin tried not to employ too often. He and Crystal had a sort of pact in place to discourage Charles' need to please others, rather than lean into it. Within reason, of course — Edwin had no wish to change Charles fundamentally as a person (or to discourage him from doing what felt good to him in intimate settings. If it made Charles feel good to make others feel good, who was Edwin to begrudge him the pleasure?). But they'd agreed that it was probably the healthier option, in the long term. To steer Charles away from hingeing his self-worth on what he could do for others.

But sometimes, the damage was already done. Sometimes Charles was simply too vulnerable to rejection, too stuck in his own head. And on those occasions, Edwin had learned the kindest thing to do was to take him by the hand, and take the guesswork out of the equation.

Charles sniffed. His soft curls tickled Edwin's forehead as he nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, alright."

"Good." Edwin gave him another kiss, pressing this one to his temple. Charles melted under his touch, leaning into him, his hands tight and hot on Edwin's chest. "Thank you, dearheart," said Edwin.

Charles shivered. "Fuck me..." he swore, a dazed mumble.

"Hmmm... No, not tonight, I don't think," Edwin quipped — gratified when Charles managed a snort of mirth. Edwin thumbed up under Charles' jaw, finding where the tension still lingered and soothing it out with firm strokes. "I have something better in mind," he said. He released his hold on Charles to roll up in his own shirtsleeves in brisk, meticulous folds.

Charles watched his every motion with a hungry gaze. "Yeah?" he breathed, somewhat stunned; eyes devouring each newly exposed inch of Edwin's skin up to the elbow. He did have a fascination with Edwin's arms; it was a tried and true method of holding his attention.

"Yes." Edwin glanced over Charles' shoulder with a hum, and settled his hands upon Charles' slender waist. "First things first; let's get you sitting comfortably, shall we?"

He braced himself and, with careful exertion, lifted Charles to deposit him in his usual spot on the desk. Charles went without struggle, and with a gasp that morphed swiftly into a groan. His legs flopped open at once, one ankle hooking around Edwin's thigh in invitation. He tugged on Edwin's waistcoat with a soft whine of his name.

Edwin, maintaining his composure admirably, shushed him. He removed Charles' hands from his own chest — though he pressed quick, apologetic kisses to the heels of each. "Later, my love. Now. Where did I put it..."

He patted down his trouser pockets. When that yielded nothing, he sifted through the stationary cup on the desk. He suspected the object he desired might still be in his coat pocket, but he was loathe to step too far from Charles. Luck, however, was on his side. He recovered the coil of string from a box of spellcasting odds and ends with a small sound of triumph.

Charles watched Edwin's hands unwind the string; rapt despite the slight glaze of his eyes. "You gonna tie me up, then?"

Edwin tsk'd. "What a one-track mind you have this evening," he teased. It wasn't a scold. Having Charles focused and fixated on trying to get Edwin into bed was vastly preferable to the jumble of insecurity. "Hold out your hands."

"Sure you're not tying me up?" said Charles, brow furrowing as he lifted his hands — palms up, beautifully willing.

"I suppose that depends on your definition," said Edwin, as he tied the ends of the string together to form a wide loop. He nudged Charles' hands into place, about a foot apart with palms turned inwards, and draped the loop over them.

Charles, through the haze, finally twigged. "Cat's cradle?" he said, with a slight chuckle.

"Do you object?" asked Edwin.

"Why'd you wanna do this?"

"Because I like playing games with you." Edwin directed Charles to rotate his wrists, winding the string into loops around his hands. He indulged in a gentle touch as he did so, tracing his thumbs along the creases of Charles' skin. The smooth stretch where once a 'life line' would have resided. Edwin had not set much stock by the art of palmistry, until he'd discovered that little commonality between he and Charles. "Again, please. One more loop."

Charles didn't argue — of course he didn't. Edwin doubted he currently had the capacity to argue; so deep had he already descended into that quiet space in his head. The one he occupied only in their moments of deepest intimacy, when Edwin took charge, took him in hand. His eyes, such quick and clever things, now gazed down at Edwin hooded and glassy. Perfect, still pools of pleasantly addled warmth. He'd sunk so readily, so splendidly, all but curled up in the palm of Edwin's hand.

Edwin watched him a moment before proceeding, soothing the ragged edges of his own Hell-torn soul. Whatever he'd done in life to earn the trust Charles placed in him, it must have be something very good indeed.

In next to no time, they had the string pulled taut between Charles' hands, forming the neat double cross of the eponymous Cat's Cradle. Edwin hummed in approval. "Well done," he praised, as he pinched the crossed strands and pulled them outwards. "And now to me. Soldier's Bed, please."

Though Charles appeared to be away with the fairies, he was attuned to Edwin's voice and acquiesced to his command with ease. This was a game they had played many times, on long and quiet nights. When they'd had nothing to hand but an old bootlace, and nothing they wished to do but keep each other's company. Charles didn't need to strain to recall how to release the strings into Edwin's hold. Or how to begin forming the next shape after that, his confident fingers pinching and tugging the relevant strands.

Peaceful and methodical, they worked together, shape by shape, hand to hand. When Charles was pulling the strings for Edwin he was focused, intent, a little wrinkle in his brow. Once or twice his tongue darted out, bitten between his teeth in concentration, and Edwin resisted the impulse to distract him with a kiss. When Charles was merely holding the strings he subsided into utter relaxation. Breathing slow, eyes closed or halfway there, watching Edwin's face and hands with hazy satisfaction. Occasionally he dropped a thread, but it was never a serious blunder, and Edwin got them back on track with a polite command to pick it up. In a customary game they'd have to restart, but this was no customary game. Now was not the time to dwell upon harmless mistakes.

The game served as Edwin had hoped it would. After a few rounds of he and Charles working in perfect tandem, he could feel the air had settled and Charles with it. The grounding touches of their fingers and the face-to-face contact couldn't have hurt. Edwin had fallen into a rhythm, politely requesting each new shape by name and praising the end result. Charles had likewise fallen into a rhythm of mellow compliance. As the rounds wore on he even offered the odd cheeky verbal acknowledgement of Edwin's commands. A 'comin' right up' here, an 'on it, boss' there. His voice was thick and sweet, his tongue succumbing to the same submissive, slumberous spell as his mind. But a little of his bright, energetic spark was creeping back beneath the haze.

By the time they'd worked through the established shapes, and exhausted their own catalogue of invented ones, Edwin was satisfied. He felt they'd left the storm behind and sailed into calmer waters.

"Good game, Charles," he said, as he took their last custom shape — the aptly named Nail in the Coffin — into his own hands, and unraveled it. "Thank you."

Charles hummed, drowsy, swaying a little where he sat. "What'chu wanna do now?" he asked, dark, glassy eyes intent on Edwin's face. Like it was the most important question in the world.

He looked so lovely like this. Of course he always looked lovely, as handsome a boy as Edwin had ever seen. But like this especially, so far gone in his peace and pleasure, there was nothing to compare. Warm and golden, soft and tousled; his eyes black and bottomless and only for Edwin. Gazing at him as if he'd hung the moon and the stars.

Edwin faltered, a small gasp catching in his throat. He remained adamant that he wouldn't take more than Charles should give, at this moment. But... perhaps a small indulgence.

"Kiss me," he said, tucking a finger beneath Charles' chin. "Please."

Charles nodded — a hasty gesture compared to his otherwise lethargic motions — and swayed forward. He crashed his lips against Edwin's in an artless kiss, his hands finding Edwin's waist and gripping tight. Like he couldn't get him close enough.

Edwin sighed into it, stepping into Charles. Into the comfortable vee of his sprawled legs, where he'd come to spend many a peaceful night of late. He tilted his head, guiding Charles into a gentler kiss. Leading him as he would in a dance and letting him fall, gratefully, into step. Edwin explored the curve of Charles' jaw with his fingers, the charmingly pointed shell of his ear. He thumbed across his sparkly earring, and Charles huffed a little laugh into his mouth.

"Magpie," he mumbled.

Edwin chuckled as well, a natural release of the warmth suffusing him. He broke the kiss to dust smaller, feather-light ones across Charles' cheeks. "Well," he said, a thumb pressed to Charles' plush lower lip. "I do seem to collect the most beautiful things..."

Breath hitching, Charles wrapped his arms around Edwin's shoulders and squeezed. Edwin returned the embrace without hesitation. Never before Charles had he felt at ease with this sort of thing — this effusive, uncurbed physical affection. With anyone else it was still a struggle. He had little desire to touch, or be touched. But inviting Charles into his embrace was never a hardship; it was simply his proper place. It was a fact of the universe: Charles belonged with Edwin. In his arms, on his desk, in his bed, on his nerves.

Charles belonged with Edwin, as Edwin belonged with Charles; holding his hand, steering him true. And, where necessary, using a firm word and a firmer hold to put those wretched doubts in his head to rest.

Edwin pulled away with a parting kiss to Charles' temple. Charles felt warm, in that strange, prickly way. Ghostly body heat wasn't so much a thrum of blood as an excitation of atoms. To Edwin's mind, he felt warmer than usual at present. "Are you hot?" he asked.

"Dunno," said Charles with a lax, flirtatious smile. "Am I?"

Edwin rolled his eyes. "In the non-figurative sense, please, Charles."

"Mm. Yeah, bit hot." The smile widened into an impish grin. "Or maybe that's just you."

"You're incorrigible," Edwin muttered — but there was a smile in his voice and likely on his face, as well. His own cheeks were beginning to feel rather warm. He cleared his throat and tugged, meaningfully, on one of Charles' braces. There was a tantalising give and take to the elastic as his fingers slipped behind it. He was half tempted to release it, let it ping back, see what sound Charles made at the slight shock. But now wasn't the time for that sort of play.

"You may remove a layer, if you like," Edwin offered magnanimously — no ulterior motive whatsoever. "I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable."

Charles didn't need telling twice. He slid the braces off his shoulders and grabbed his polo shirt at the back of the neck, dragging it off over his head. It was altogether a clumsier attempt than his usual so-called 'strip teases', but his hooded eyes burned on Edwin's face throughout. Afterwards he was left in just his sinfully tight white vest — and, of course, the enticing glimmer of his golden chain on top. But he remained pleasantly flushed and glowing, with not a hint of cold or discomfort. Charles was prone to chills in times of stress; a morbid sense memory of his last night alive. But he always seemed to warm in Edwin's presence.

Edwin, with an exhale that was just a tad on the ragged side, bowed his head and grazed a kiss across Charles' exposed collarbone. "Better?"

He could feel Charles' soft groan ruffling his hair. "Yeah. Yeah, feels good." He pulled on the hem of Edwin's waistcoat. "Bet you're hot too, yeah?"

Increasingly so, yes. Edwin was clinging to his composure by a thread. "It is a touch close in here," he agreed. He could feel Charles' restless fingers tugging, so he took them in his own hands, and guided them to the top button of the waistcoat. It was only fair he restore the balance. "Would you be so kind?"

Charles groaned again, this time so close to Edwin's ear it sent a ripple down his spine, and obeyed. His hands, as was often the case when disrobing Edwin, tripped over the buttons, rendered all fingers and thumbs in his eagerness. But they were in no hurry. Edwin closed his eyes and waited, tucked into the crook of Charles' neck and perfectly satisfied to be so.

When the final button surrendered the fight, Charles made haste to shove the garment off Edwin's shoulders. Edwin corrected him with a polite "Gently, please," and Charles took it in more careful hands, mindful of causing wrinkles. It made no difference, of course — Edwin could will his clothes to look as pristine or rumpled as he pleased. But Charles shuddered sweetly at the direction, and Edwin so enjoyed directing him. Besides, there was never any harm in promoting good habits.

"Fold it, please," said Edwin — stepping back to give Charles space. He watched Charles take the waistcoat in hand and, inexpertly, fold it in half twice. Lengthwise first, then the opposite. Hardly proper protocol, but Edwin didn't much care. He just took the haphazardly folded garment with gratitude and set it aside on the desk. "Thank you."

"Anything else?" Charles mumbled — his fingers teasing Edwin's shirt, itching to tug it free of his waistband.

Edwin sighed, and stilled Charles' hands. Perhaps he was letting the situation get away from them a bit. Charles was quite the difficult temptation to resist. "Perhaps later," he said. At Charles' disappointed pout, he made an amendment. "Definitely later."

Charles snorted, and let his head flop against Edwin's chest. "Alright," he mumbled. He sounded tired. Overwhelmed. It was a lot for him, this complete surrender, and Edwin well knew it. "Whatever you say, love."

"I say it's time for a rest." Edwin took Charles' face in both his hands, holding him still as he bestowed one more kiss upon his forehead. "Go and sit down, please. Comfortably, on the sofa. I'll join you momentarily."

Charles grumbled, but nevertheless did as he was told. He hopped off the desk, hand trailing across Edwin's chest as he passed him by. Edwin caught it for the barest second, just to give his fingers a parting squeeze. An altogether impossible urge to resist; and the loving way Charles' eyes found him over his shoulder affirmed his decision.

Tearing his attention from Charles and his smiles and his soft, trusting eyes, he turned it to the bookcase instead. He knew exactly what he wished to do with Charles, now. Something they'd had neither the space nor quiet for in quite some time. He scanned the shelves, deep in thought.

"Charles," he called out, careful not to cut too sharply through the peace of the room. "Douglas Adams, or Sir Arthur?"

It was a gentle prompt, and a simple choice. The stakes couldn't be lower. He waited to see if Charles would hand it back to him, anyway — still unwilling and unable to bear the thought of making an incorrect decision.

"Mmm... Doug," Charles mumbled.

Edwin smiled to himself. On the mend, then. "Excellent choice," he said; sliding their well-loved second edition of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency from the shelf.

He turned on his heel to find Charles, folded onto the sofa in a loose tangle of limbs, chin on his fist. He bore sleepy, squinting eyes and a dopey smile, both directed at Edwin and warming him through like late afternoon sunlight.

"Like how it sounds in your voice," said Charles, nestling in further. The very picture of contentment. Seemed he could scarcely keep his eyes open; but he must not have wanted to look away from Edwin just yet.

Edwin could sympathise entirely; he rarely wished to look away from Charles, either.

Edwin smiled as he stepped in close, a hand on Charles' knee; a smiling kiss dropped to his head of rampant curls. "Quiet, now, darling boy," he softly commanded, tugging on Charles' knee to make room. "And enjoy yourself."

~

“How long did the Monk believe these things? Well, as far as the Monk was concerned, forever,” Edwin read, his thumb tracing circles on Charles’ wrist. “The faith which moves mountains, or at least believes them against all the available evidence to be pink, was a solid and abiding faith, a great rock against which the world could hurl whatever it would, yet it would not be shaken. In practice, the horse knew, twenty-four hours was usually about its lot.”

They were a scant few pages into the book, and yet Edwin suspected that Charles had drifted into a doze. It was hard to tell without facing him. They'd settled on the sofa with Charles tucked up against the arm and back, and Edwin reclining between his sprawled legs. Edwin's back pillowed on Charles' torso; Charles' arms wrapped around Edwin, like a large teddy bear. Edwin could feel Charles' chin propped atop his head. On occasion, he nuzzled into Edwin's hair with soft hums as he listened to the story. But the hums and nuzzles both had grown less frequent already, subsiding to near silence.

Edwin read on regardless. Charles, like all ghosts, rarely if ever actually slept, and was likely still listening. Even if his mind was wondering elsewhere for the time being, he'd find his way back. He always did. And Edwin would be waiting for him.

A few chapters later, as Edwin recounted the thrilling mystery of the horse in the water closet, he felt Charles stirring. Soon, Charles' wrist was slipping free from Edwin's grasp, the hand coming to rest instead atop Edwin's hand in a gentle hold.

"Thank you," Charles mumbled, nuzzling into Edwin's hair.

Edwin smiled. "There's no need to thank me for reading to you," he said. "I enjoy it."

"I meant, like..." Charles sighed, squeezing Edwin's hand. "Thanks for, y'know. Bossing me around a bit," he said, sincerity threaded through the lighthearted tease. "Seriously. It proper helps."

Edwin laced their fingers, and brought Charles' hand to his lips. "Charles," he said, simple and serious. He kissed him on the knuckles. "I shall always be here to boss you around when needed."

Charles laughed. Quiet, unobtrusive. It seemed neither one of them was quite ready to break the spell just yet. "Love you," he murmured.

Marking his page with a finger, Edwin leaned back onto Charles' shoulder. He tilted his head back, all the better to look his beloved in the eye. "I love you, too."

He only had to lift his lips, a silent prompt.

Charles needed no further instructions.

~~

Thanks for reading! Consider dropping us a comment/reblog, they do so make my day/week/month 💛 Might not manage every day of this week but I will defo see you tomorrow for a fic/collab I'm SUPER excited about!!! Painland Week Prompt List

[ganondoodle]

so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)

(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)

someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"

so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc

secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)

then theres this reply

astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"

i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders

"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!

and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well

and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Let me tell you now, you're the lucky one

(Enemies to Enemies Who Fuck)

(HaruKaku in Bonten timeline)

(some past-MuSan and past-KakuIza with a subtle RanOmi bc why not, it's my fic and I don't have self-restrain when it comes to multishipping)

(link to ao3 in case some one preferes to read it there)

Warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat!

All of them. Bonten is their own warning. Substance abuse. Really unhealthy coping mechanisms. Depression. Mental health problems. Suicide. Major character death. (it's Bonten, they all want to kill themselves and some of them succeed, okay?) Mentions of unsafe sex, but there is no smut or graphic depiction of it.

I tried to not be too graphic with any of this topics, the focus is mostly on what the characters are thinking/feeling. But it's hard anyway, tbh the last scene was actually difficult and painful for me to write. So please, don't take the CW lightly and prioritize your mental health!

Angst and Hurt/No Comfort.

MANGA SPOILERS!!!!

Notes: HaruKaku came as an hilarious idea. Because they are hilarious, let's be real. Soulmates archnemesis, doomed to hate each other in every timeline. But then Bonten happened and of course, I ended up writing some angsty shit instead of focusing in all the other moments when they are hilarious. Kudos for me, yey! 🥲

This is canon complicit (again, is Bonten, beware!)

It alternates from Kakucho's POV to Sanzu's POV. I did that thing again of using "Haruchiyo" when he's in his most vulnerable state because for some reason I like playing with his name like this.

(English is not my first language, be nice please 🙈)

(the art is from @just-sp-in-inginthevoid who is in part responsible for the archnemesis brain riot, but mostly the hilarious part, tbh)

Is not that Kakucho enjoys Sanzu's company. Or that the pinkette gradually started to grow on him. Quite the opposite, to be honest. He hates him a little bit more every day, every shared mission, every time they had to spent hours together.

But with Sanzu, he feels. He feels intensely, he feels with passion. Even if it's twisted, at least he's not empty anymore. The void that threatens to devour him seems to disappear when he's around the other man. Sometimes, Kakucho wants to murder him, but he knows he can't. Others, he wonders what would happen to him if he also loses the only person that it's still able to provoke an intense emotion on him.

Hate is better than apathy, isn't it?

They hate each other passionately. Sanzu finds his reactions too funny for stopping it, always willing to go a little further, to push Kakucho to the edge. It's too easy to pick on him, making him forget about his allegedly righteous patience.

It's disgusting, how Kakucho thinks of himself like he was better than the rest of them. So Sanzu enjoys to proves him wrong, to show him that they are the same (even if he can't stand that fact either, seeing that burning rage in those heterochromatic eyes makes it worth it).

Now that he thinks about it, it was probably a matter of time, considering that his king denied them the right to kill each other, they needed to find a way of releasing all that build up anger. That's probably why isn't that surprising when it finally happens.

It looked like a regular night. Sanzu was high as a kite, trying to forget every one of his lives. Kakucho just seemed to be there, he can't recall exactly why, some type of report, but he didn't pay any attention to it at the moment, too intoxicated for actually caring for something that could wait until tomorrow.

“Why are you still here? You like me that much or what?”

The pinkette man says, slurring his words.

“Are you that high? You know I hate you.”

Is the harsh answer that he earns. It's brutal, but real. Kakucho's honesty has something that grounds him to the present. It's sickening. It's exactly what he wants right now.

“I hate you too, don't worry.” He laughs, finding his own words amusing. “Think about it, me and you. Just us, hating each other all night long.”

“You're crazy.”

“And you didn't say no.”

(If he was more honest with himself, he would admit that he was trying to find another way of punishing his broken mind and his body. But he's not.)

And oh, it actually feels good. Kakucho fucks him with the same brutality that talks to him. He couldn't bear any type of gentle touch (specially not from someone that it's so linked to Mucho, but he isn't thinking in that, he promised himself to forget his old captain a long time ago).

There isn't any type of care between them, only spite. Both men are too broken for having the ability to love someone again. Indeed, this was precisely what he needed. This is perfect.

The next day, Kakucho feels nauseated. How couldn't he? Sanzu was high as fuck, too intoxicated to give proper consent to do anything. So even if he was also a little drunk, even if it wasn't his idea, Kakucho feels guilty for what happened.

Until Sanzu just laughs at his poorly attempt of apologizing, mocking his morals once more. He was about to punch him in the face, but the lingering guilt doesn't allow him to do it. Not that one more bruise would make a difference, actually.

Both are covered in so many marks that more than sex, it looks like they tried to kill each other. Yeah, maybe he should stop feeling sorry for Sanzu, considering this. Maybe that was the best way to get rid of that not-so-pent-up hate.

And it works. At least for a while, it works. Until it happens again. And again.

Is not that they are lovers (Kakucho wants to puke with that idea). They just fuck from time to time. That's all. They hate each other, they wish they could kill the other. But they can't. So, sometimes, they fuck.

Their relationship is not pretty. At all. Or better. If Kakucho had to use only one word for describing it, he would say “real”. They don't lie to each other, what would be the point? Both are too able of seeing between the lies, they are too similar in so many ways. But that raw honesty only makes it worse.

Kakucho knows it's a mistake, that he shouldn't care about Sanzu's fate (he brought it on himself and he doesn't seem to have any complains). But Mikey is worse every day, the king is falling and his loyal dog is falling with him. Kakucho needs to do something, because the uneasiness he feels every time he sees them is now living rent-free in his mind.

That's why, one day, Kakucho tries. He's trying to find his clothes, dressing quickly, wanting to get out of this room that only makes him feel sick. Then, he looks at Sanzu, his pink hair scattered on the pillows, a lazy and satisfied smile than only appears after sex (and never lasts). There is some twisted vulnerability in how content the other man is while lighting up a joint, as if seeing these new swelling (all this pain) on his skin was something he wanted.

(Kakucho can't shake the feeling that Sanzu is using him as another way of hurting himself and that infuriates him so fucking much... Maybe that's the real reason why he decides against his best judgment and opens his big mouth.)

“Is not worth it.”

“Uh?”

Sanzu looks at the other, not sure if he actually heard something. He just wants to smoke and relax, to feel the post-orgasmic satisfaction while it lasts, to enjoy the pain in his body (one more of his little punishments).

“I said is not worth it. Dying with Mikey.”

If it had been anyone else, Sanzu would shoot him in the face just for saying this. Thinking like that, talking like that about his king is treason. It should be. But it's difficult to pretend Kakucho's isn't right about this when, unfortunately, it's the only one Sanzu trusts with Mikey's well-being (It's the one he calls every time Mikey is being suicidal again).

“You wish you could be me, you wish you had died with Izana.”

Sanzu spits his words, burning with all the rage he feels every time he has to acknowledge the reality of how is Mikey.

“That's not what this is about-”

Kakucho is unable to finish his sentence, turning pale in anger when Sanzu cuts him. 'Good'.

“You're a selfish bastard, aren't you? You want me to be like you, stuck here with no purpose, jerking yourself with the memory of a ghost. Pretend it's because of your high morals, that you're worried about me or some other bullshit. But you're just another selfish bastard. And you envy me.”

If it had been anyone else, Sanzu would shoot him in the face. But he can't (he wants to, oh, he wants it so much, but he can't disobey Mikey's orders). So, instead of bullets, he uses his words.

“At least Izana cared about me.”

Is the last thing he hears before Kakucho slams the door. Sanzu laughs maniacally, throwing the first shit he can find to the place the other man was a few seconds a go. He's momentary satisfaction long forgotten, replaced only by hate (and pain, but one that he refuses to see).

The worst part is that in a sickening way, he trusts Kakucho. They don't lie to each other, that makes it so much worse, because both of them know that what the other said is true. He hates him, he hates him with every fiber of his body. He doesn't want this words to be true, he can't accept that. He needs to keep living in this denial, to pretend Mikey is fine (to pretend he doesn't keep mixing this Mikey with that in his nightmares, to pretend they don't look so alike).

It's been three days. Three whole days since Mikey's death was splattered on the news (no one seems to care about Takemichi's death, even with all that footage of how the hero tried to save the most dangerous man in Japan). Kakucho cares, but he knows damn well that he wouldn't be welcomed within the hero's friends, so he would have to say goodbye in his own way (again).

During this days, Kakucho learned some things, like the fact that apparently everyone had some kind of contingency plan in case this happened (no, for when this happened, all of them could see that Mikey was more on the edge every day). But nobody spoke to him about it, keeping him in the darkness, the only idiot that didn't prepare himself for the end. Well, not the only, he knows that, of course he knows that.

(Sanzu would have killed them in the blink of an eye. Anyone who dared to imply that Bonten needed to be prepared to function without a king.)

Kakucho understands the need for secrets, of course he does. The idea of Mikey falling would be considered treason a few days ago, it was taboo to think like that. At the same time, none of them wanted to acknowledge it, like saying it out loud would make it more real. He can't even be mad when the Haitanis (obviously) thought about him on their own schemes, making sure Kakucho was also safe. Or as safe as any of them could be now that Bonten was crumbleling.

It's been three days. Bonten is crumbleling. Mikey is dead. And Sanzu disappeared the same day. Everyone knows he's dead, but they don't say it. Not in front of Takeomi, who's still desperately looking, going out in the rain for hours. Trying to find something, some clue that leads him to his little brother. Clinging to the hope that he's still alive somewhere. That he's going to find him, high as fuck, but alive (Kakucho thinks being able to find Sanzu's body at all would already be a miracle).

Only Ran is able to convince Takeomi to rest a little bit, promising that he and Rindou will help with the search as long as the older man gets a few hours of sleep. Takeomi just nods, mumbling “Today is his birthday, Ran. Is his fucking birthday and he's out there alone.” while Ran drags him softly, a concerned look plastered in those violet eyes.

Kakucho hates it, hates having to see all this sorrow around him (again). He doesn't lament the loss of Mikey and Sanzu, he's incapable of doing it. Grief took his heart for hostage a long time ago, there is nothing more for him to mourn.

More than anything, Kakucho hates himself, because he's jealous of Sanzu. He knows he shouldn't, but he hates that the pinkette man was right about him. He envies Sanzu, who had the privilege of dying with Mikey, of dying with his king.

Kakucho hates the Mad Dog even more right now. But he's aware that once this hate fades away, he would feel empty again. So he clings onto this feeling, he needs this rage as a motor to keep moving.

It doesn't matter if this energy is fulled with rage, he needs it. He can't fail his friends, what's left of his family. Kakucho has to keep living even if he can't remember how being alive felt anymore. Even if he's more dead inside every day.

So, over and over... Kakucho would keep living.

The rain keeps pouring down without truce, Haruchiyo shrinks inside the leather jacket that was always too big for him. Now the only thing that makes him feel protected from that annoying rain (from the world). To be honest, he isn't completely aware how he managed to recover it from his penthouse, but it seemed important in that moment.

The jacket and the old picture that he's still clutching in his pocket, the only two things he cared enough to take. He doesn't even need to look at it to see the four happy smiles stained with watermelon juice. Two pink haired kids that could be confused by twins, one with a shy smile, the other with a cheerful one, happy to be included with his brother friends. Next, a fierce smile showing two small fangs, already a force of nature at his young age. In the middle, a blond kid with the most radiant smile Haruchiyo ever saw, capable of making everything shine just with his presence. Full of life, of dreams. Full of potential. Brighter than the sun, a true leader.

But that was a long time ago and, once again, Sanzu is the only one who remembers. The man staggering in the rain is now the only survivor from that photo. Only him, alone in this fuck up world where nothing and no one matters anymore. Not without Mikey. Even Bonten can burn from what he cares.

He keeps walking (it feels more like floating for him, floating in a cloud of pain and numbness at the same time). Until he finally reaches his destination, an abandoned bowling alley. Sanzu enters in some kind of trance, not sure if he's dissociating or too intoxicated. He doesn't care.

He sits down exactly in the same place his king sat down. How many days had passed since that moment? One? Two? Ages. It certainly feels like ages for him. Haruchiyo hugs himself, trying to make space for his legs inside the big comforting jacket. Completely curled up. And he cries, he cries like he hasn't allowed himself to do so in the last ten years.

He's starting to sober up, he can feel it. Because the flashbacks are coming back. Shinichiro jumping from that bridge. Mikey jumping from this exact building. Mikey falling from the stairs, that awful “clonk”. Mikey jumping again from this building.

Haruchiyo screams, holding his head with both hands, begging the images to stop, unable to continue reliving those memories. He needs everything to stop, to be quiet, his shattered mind can't take it anymore.

He takes out a small box from his pocket, looking at the content. Everything he needs is here, he knows how to do it, how to make sure he's not going to wake up from this trip. His stupid hands are shaking while he gets the syringe ready.

For some reason, he suddenly remembers Kakucho's words a few months ago. He hates it, he hates thinking in that fucker when he's about to die. But the other man was right, wasn't he? Mikey never cared about Sanzu, he spent years of his life trying to keep his king alive and it was all for nothing. Everything blew up in one night.

A manic laugh escapes between his whimpers. Of course is that, he's fucking jealous. Sanzu is fucking jealous because at least Kakucho got to held Izana's hand when he died, he got to comfort his king in his last moments. Sanzu didn't had that, Hanagaki was the one holding Mikey's hand. Always that cockroach, never him.

What did he expect anyway? Haruchiyo is just a failure. He never deserved to be the one making his king last moments less painful. Of course, he should had known. He failed everyone. He failed Shinichiro, unable to protect Mikey, to be the friend he promised he would be. He failed Mikey, watching him falling into the darkness, becoming the same empty shell he already saw in a past that never happened, and doing nothing about it.

Sanzu doesn't have anything left. He also killed his own chance of happiness a long time ago (he also failed his captain, didn't he?). The only thing left for him is to disappear, to follow his king. He's going with him, because he's being following Mikey for so long, that he doesn't see any other choice. He's going with him, because he doesn't deserve to keep living when he couldn't save Mikey.

But it's fine, the drug is already kicking in, his body feels more relaxed. Even his mind seems to be quiet, almost in peace. He looks at the old photo one last time, before drifting out of consciousness, looking for safety in the inner part of the leather, pretending it smells like cheesecake.

It's fine, because at the end of the day... Haruchiyo was just a failure.

[mingiswow]

Boyfriend!Jongho

⚠️ English is not my first language, so sorry if there's any mistake

ok, is really hard for me to write about him because he has the same age as my little sister 

So it feels weird to me lol 

Anyway 

Baby boy Jongho 

He has such a tsundere vibe for me 

Not because he wants to 

But because he doesn’t know how to act around you

His shyness acts as coldness 

And that doesn’t help him at the beginning 

Bc when you guys met you thought he didn’t like you 

He barely spoke to you 

Never looked at you 

And the word exchange was reduced to sounds or monosyllabic words

But that’s because he couldn’t even look at you 

God you were so beautiful and ethereal to him 

An angel on earth 

So he asked help to your mutual friends 

“Let’s get drunk and then you use a little liquid courage”

It didn’t work the way he had planned because another person was hitting on you and he got jealous 

“Get away from yn they’re mine!” 

Now imagine the scene: he all drunk and tipsy, face red, eyes small and a pout that he thought was making an angry face but was more on the sad puppy side 

But hey! You thought he was cute like that and happy that he liked you back 

Jongho is a very discreet boyfriend 

Def not a fan of pda 

Or skinship in general 

I feel like he leaves the touches and caressing to more special moments

But as soon as you got more intimate in your relationship he became a cuddle bug 

He loves laying down in bed with your head on his chest and your arms wrapped around each other

A comfortable and comforting silence falls upon you two 

He just enjoys the comfort of your presence 

You don’t have to say or do anything, just being by his side he is ultimately happy 

He is quite a sappy boyfriend

He knows that he doesn’t touch you as much as he should but it’s just the way he is 

So he compensates (even tho you tell him he doesn’t have to) with homemade meals, long walks at the beach at night, dinner at a restaurant you said you wanted to try, little flower bouquets every now and then just because, opens the doors for you, pulls the chair for you to seat, hangs your jacket for you

The last romantic™️

He also changes a lot around people because of you

He gets softer

And is a daydreamer 

Sometimes his mind is doing things on auto mode that he doesn’t even realize that he’s thinking of you while practicing the new routine 

The boys don’t complain tho

They are loving this Jongho 

Mostly wooyoung because now he can rest lol 

Like I said, he is a sappy romantic boyfriend that just came out of some teen rom-com from the 00s

And so came his kisses 

Omg I feel like this man's kisses are the absolute most amazing kisses you could ever experience 

He just holds your face between his hands with such love and care

And look at your eyes deeply as he is professing his love by the way he looks at you 

Then he gently touches your nose before finally touching your lips 

His lips are a little rough but that doesn’t mean his kisses are rough as well

No no no 

This man has the softest, feathered and smooth kiss you’ve ever tasted 

He is a slow kisser

Tastes you so deeply

Makes your heart and stomach do backflips in excitement

You feel so so loved

You literally melt in his arms as you hold him

But as we know, most pros have their cons

And jongho is no exception 

He tends to get jealous very easily 

Not because he doesn’t trust you or doubt himself, but more because he doesn’t trust the other person 

He gets overprotective over you very easily 

And this can be quite annoying sometimes 

“Why are you home so late?”

“I told you I was going to go drink with my friend after work/school”

“Well, I was worried. What if something happened to you?”

Because of that, you fight quite a bit 

Not big fights 

But discussions 

That sometimes ends with you going to sleep in some of your friend's house or him in the dorms 

But he learned to pass over his pride and learned how to apologize over the time 

Because I’m the beginning he never apologized because he didn’t want to admit he was wrong 

But you guys talked through it 

You told him how you felt and he told you as well 

So the discussions always end with you both apologizing a few hours after 

NSFW from here on ⇉ minors dni ⇇

I have no other words other than dom

He is a soft man 

But he loooooves the sensation of being a little mean and authoritarian 

I mean, he is the maknae, he’s almost never in charge in his work 

So he enjoys bossing you around 

Even if you are older than him 

He is still dominating you

He is equal parts sweet and mean 

And you can notice in the way he talks to you 

He praises you for being so good to him for holding your orgasm like he asks you to do 

And seconds later he is laughing at your fucked out state and mocking you for begging to cum 

Jongho is a big big big fan of toys 

Because they’re his best friends 

They help him not only tease you but please you 

Has an enormous collection of vibrators, they’re his favorite 

Probably will use a toy every time you guys have sex 

Because he sees sex as this intimate and almost immaculate thing 

So he likes to take his time and enjoy the process 

Loves the little turning-on game you guys play before actually having sex 

Testing kisses and touches, kisses that last longer than they should, lips that go to other places, hands that adventure around each other’s bodies, sweet promises and teases whispered in your ears 

So the use of toys is a prolonging of that game 

Also, jongho is not a fan of giving oral 

Sorry everyone 

But since he uses the toys is all good 

And also, won’t force you to give him head 

But gladly enjoys it when you do 

It’s when he praises you the most tho

He is also a huge fan of sensory deprivation and stimuli

I’m talking about tying you up so you can’t touch him, blindfolding you so you can’t see him, playing with hot wax or ice on your skin so you get extra aware of your senses and surroundings 

But nothing will ever compare to the feeling of fucking you 

This man goes feral when he is inside of you 

He just can’t hold it 

Your walls feel so good around him 

He gets so lost that he does everything in auto mode 

Plays with your skin, your sensitive parts, nipples, hold you by your neck (not actually choking, just holding), pulls your hair (if you have), biting and marking your skin 

He just lets his primal instincts take over 

And if you start scratching and nailing his back he goes even wilder 

He’s not afraid of moaning 

But he just growls

Like an actual animal 

“If you keep marking me like this I won’t last longer sweetie”

It’s a lie 

This man has stamina 

He can go and go and go 

So prepare yourself 

Because when he is in the mood to make love to you - on his own terms of the act obviously - you guys will be locked in the bedroom for days 

But being the gentleman he is, after all of that he will treat you like royalty 

Will clean you up and take you for a warm bath with bath salts that will relax and soothe your body 

Will wash your hair, brush and even dry it 

And if he’s feeling extra lovely he’ll massage your feet and your arms

Then he just cuddles you and lulls you to sleep with his beautiful voice 

He is a gentleman in the streets and a freaky gentleman in the sheets

Masterlist

Requests are open

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

man that got me thinking about the catholic school days… like transferring from public school was such a comedic experience i look back on it now and have to laugh

some people treated me like a poor unfortunate soul and asked me questions about my experience like i just walked into civilization from a jungle (“did people… bully you?” cue me: “…bullying exists everywhere?”)

i was also an Anomaly because when i took the entrance test i pretty much aced the math section and was placed into advanced math straightaway which hadn’t been seen from a transfer student before, which i at the time (forgetting i was literally in math olympiad and advanced math already) thought was much less of a big deal than they were making. (“they were impressed i could calculate the area of a trapezoid,” i complained to my mother after they informed me of my placement. “it was easy. they literally gave me the formula.”)

on my very first day there was held a pep rally for the middle school (this was a preschool through 8th grade school) and one of the “games” was to have a student from each year tell the whole middle school about something they did that summer. i don’t know who came up with that or who even thought that would be a suitable game to play for 11-13 year olds. anyway nobody was volunteering, the usual Kids Who Did Public Speaking didn’t want to do it, so i volunteered myself and delivered an impromptu stand-up set about my priest uncle coming to visit. i won.

the son of my favorite english teacher (who by the way. absolutely loved me from the moment i did that stand-up set on the first day. pretty much all my english teachers there simply loved me i have no clue why) straight up said to my face as we walked out of science class “you’re really smart, for a public school kid” and i was SO offended

i befriended most if not all the sisters on campus and spent time chatting with the one in the library who was from the democratic republic of the congo and spoke french swahili and english. or working the snack bar with another down near the playground who let me stack the pudding cups in the fridge. even the one running the cafeteria, who everyone said was mean, was actually really friendly if you were polite to her and were actually interested in her well-being. my mom and i even ended up being friends with the really quiet one who guarded the gate in the mornings

so much of junior high was me doing whatever the fuck i wanted honestly. i snuck broadway references into things. i think once i even used a matilda the musical song in a school project. i danced with a girl at the last formal social and nobody batted an eye.

we had our inaugural shakespeare performances outdoors where we did selected scenes from plays and i got lady macbeth hyping macbeth up to frame the guards for murdering the king (bc the guy teaching it was like this is the most challenging scene and i was like. bet). one of my friends made fake blood from a chocolate base (he was SO good at practical effects my god) and i was dying to taste it bc he said it was edible so we took our bows when the scene was over and i was still on stage in costume when i stuck a blood-covered finger in my mouth. cue HORRIFIED gasps from the audience. one of my classmate’s little sister was so terrified she would not speak to me for months.

we did eighth grade superlatives and there were fewer categories than students (but there were few students anyway so everyone got a superlative) and even though there were multiple people per superlative, i was the only one who was a “Responsible Individual”. which was hilarious

also i went from being the Poor Little Public School Kid to like. by the advisor’s words, “one of the best school presidents,” so i can really say i peaked in junior high

all this was what put me on the radar of the mother who, four years later, expressed that she wanted me to follow her son to [UNNAMED IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL]. which is the funniest bit of all

however i will say that talking to people from that era, they’re a little too quick to pin down our current achievements on the fact we went to catholic school, which is annoying. was talking to someone who was saying “it’s all because of the foundation catholic school gave you” conveniently forgetting i went to public school for FAR longer than i went to private school. it makes me wonder that, if i had been slightly less achieving now than i am, would they be adamant about my “catholic school foundations”? but that’s just speculation. i personally just had a fun time and i really enjoyed myself lol

[cburambles]

These talks about how weak the directing for Zack & Sephiroth's english VA in Remake/CCR or the meaning of some dialogue at times change or get lost in the games or even in the Rebirth trailer due to localization remind me how much I'm not a fan of the way the english team localized Rufus's lines & dialogue.

By having his VA talk slowly & making sexual innuendos (tho I can understand the appeal) in Remake when he's supposed have this stylish flare but still those formal, stoïc, arrogant vibes who also show some care for his dog.

The thing is that yes, I think he can be a bit of a playful guy & a tease. But he's more akin to a sarcastic troll most of the time like it's his way to deal with Kadaj in AC ( french!Rufus calling Kadaj "nightmare jr." still has me rolling) or when he's taunting his father during meetings in BC. He likes a bit of excitement in his life which is something he seems to find in combat situation, knows he's handsome but still has a guarded, private side to him & want to keep a sense of mystery & professionalism while gears are constantly turning in his head ( even if this dude is horny, I think it's something he isn't gonna constantly talk or think about.)

I think the japanese localization did a better job to give that feeling. And the french one followed more closely that one instead of just translating the english lines as well.

The "I own you" line as him more emphasize that Cloud belong to the company, Rufus's faction in the japanese & french version & give the feels that Rufus might question where Cloud's loyalty is supposed to lie. & you can feel more that slight sense of cold urgency & profesionnalism when he orders the troops to seize the rest of Avalanche as he speaks faster & his tone change

You can hear some of his frustrations slip up as well as in the JP & French lines, Rufus mutters an insult to Cloud when Dark Nation reach a certain amount of HP at a certain point & break the link between him & D, you hear him says " koitsu" in the japanese version while french Rufus call Cloud an " Enflure!" which is an insult we don't often use nowadays. I don't remember Rufus insulting him. Just him saying "...Okay" as if they wanted him to show surprise but forgot that hint of venom.

The horny innuendos battle lines are also less present in those versions

There's also that last scene with Heidegger & Tseng where english Rufus acknowledges Tseng with a " That's right." when the japanese one does it with a "wakata" which just translate as " understood." or " I got it." In the french version, Rufus says " J'arrive." or " I'm coming." which is more in line with the original localization as well. too. It's a more subtle way to show Rufus's displeasure at Heidegger & how he expects people to address him now without having to voice it in an explicit, vocal manner.

Anyway, I'm a bit annoyed how the english localization decided to characterize Rufus, as the whole horny schtick or try to make every of his lines look cool, can get boring to the ears but it also lose those bits that inform you about his character & it's a shame.

[berryunho]

HI BESTIE it's san anon and IT'S BEEN A WHILE

i hope you're still enjoying your time in sk hehehe i see your posts sometimes and am like *nods* having a good time, nice

it's been a busy couple of weeks sjdghsfj HONESTLY i don't think that ppt will ever like. get there. IM SORRY DSJHGFJ i loved the idea of it but i don't think i can find the time to make you the amazing ppt you deserve SIGH i do however have reasons written down for why you SHOULDN'T k word san so bet you'll be hearing from me shortly

ANYWAY that was all i just wanted to pop by and ask how you're doing <3 i hope life is going well for you !!!!!!! love u mwah

(also this is me trying to fix my english bc you > u istg i've evolved)

WAUT SAN ANON AGAIN I JUST SAW THAT ASK ABT NOT TRUSTING SAN'S MANIPULATIVE ASS i love him i'm so sorry it's so bad but i LOVE cult freak san the same way i love hongjoongism (yes i'll keep using this name) and hongjoong's wicked little brain i love it all idk i'm just. waiting for the day you don't k word san off but instead turn him into this crazy wicked insane evil cult freak instead of the cute cult freak we've seen up until now KJHDSGFKJHSD kq please give us a dark concept. i need an actual culteez concept. don't just break that wall murder it san anon again because what the FUCK i missed so many san reblogs HELP???? it makes sense now bc apparently i had the for you page open instead of the following page wtf tumblr

HSKDJFASDLFJS HIIIIII

dont worry about being busy and PLSDJFASLKDF THE PPT LOL ITS OKY I DIDNT REALLY EXPECT YOU TO MAKE ONE E VERJKLJASFLKD PSKLJFSKLDF .... i also love cult freak san and evil hongjoong LKSJDFLASKDJF last night i was writing .... a scene that will happen in ... the next few chapters probably and i was (s)creamin-- I MEAN i was having a very good time writing it even though its like the most diabolical angst to ever come from my hands i was giggling biting my lip SO ANYWAYS thats gonna be so fun to release into the world but it has to simmer for a bit still ... not to confirm nor deny any san allegations of course mwuahaha AND ANYWAYS YES I AGREE bring back mvs where kpop boys would kill people ... or like graphic vampire concepts ... PLEASE I NEED IT SO BAD FJASLDJFSJ AND ???? NOT THE FOR YOU PAGE omg i do the same thing though like it switches and i dont realize and im like "where tf is sanchelinz rn" SKJFKALSDFJ

but anyways to answer your question ... im very good still ehehe my classes are all going well i even went up korean levels LAKJDFLASD and changing topics im not really a makeup person but i walked into olive young 2 days ago and blacked out and now i own a bunch of makeup and im trying to learn how to use it and i actually ... feel so cute KASDJLFSADJ like i have some on rn and its all pink and glittery and i did my eyelashes the wonyoung way and I FEEL SO CONFIDENT ACTUALLY its crazy like i think im pretty wo makeup lol and idk i normally feel so goofy when i try to do makeup but im actually proud of what ive been able to learn in ... 3 days lol

AND ??? you probably saw lol BUT I WENT TO IDOL RADIOAFLSJDFK;ASJ that was ... so anxiety inducing LKJKLAJSDFKJS there were SO many people and our foreign asses didnt reserve seats and didnt think to bring. idk. LADDERS BC PEOPLE BRING FUCKING LADDERS (*%)($*@)#()@ and anyways idk WHAT i was doing so wrong just by standing in one spot and not moving but i was being CURRRSSEDDDD out by ktinys like i accidentally looked at one of them for too long apparently and she turned to her friend and was like "this fucking foreigner is staring crazy bitch" I WAS LIKE (*$)(*$_)(#)(@_(#_????@$?$?@?4 and another girl saw me and was like "i fucking hate when foreigners come they never know whats happening" (*409*@)@(-#(0 I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT I WAS LITERALLY LIKE ............................ simply pretended i didnt know what they were saying bc i wouldve started swinging and gotten deported if i engaged like ... HOOOOO DEEP BREATHS IM NOT MAD anyways yunho and hongjoong waved to me and i got so many good pictures and i was just happy to get to see them ehehehe all that matters is that THIS is hongjoong waving at me and my friend

and anyways i stay winning <3 life is amazing im so happy everyday <3 I HOPE YOURE GOOD AS WELL BESTIE !!! PLS LMK HOW YOU ARE AND DW ABOUT BEING BUSY AND HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR WEEK AND ILY <3333 MWAHHH :]]] <33 <33 <33

[beardisable]

yeah yall are right puss in boots the last wish FUCKS

i almost wrote the last fish, which should def have been a joke in the movie

i havent regularly watched movies for a while, i had completely forgotten how just. fun dreamworks is, theres puns and jokes happening all the time and its just. delightful and nice and often stupid but still funny, i loved it a lot, and needed it after. A Day.

there were so many stories happening but all of them got resolved and it was great and adorable and i teared up multiple times, like w realizing the bears and goldie Were the family they were looking for, and that Perrito had what he wanted the whole time, and how kitty and puss ended up getting it too... also dreamworks always suprises me with the epic action scenes like...

speaking of that. yes ofc i saw the death wolf everywhere and was a little interested bc of that and hell yes he's hot and scary and cool i loved his inclusion

most of all i LOVED all the fairy tale references! like obviously there were gonna be a lot but whenever i recognized something it made me soooooo happy like you wouldnt believe, i grew up with fairytales and myths and stories (like most of us obvs) and i fell in love with all my books and. its just so nice to get the little references and tropes that have come from them :D

the first 20 minutes were so wild, idk why i guess ive watched too many slower movies or series so the immediate action and "end" and change was just WHUH WHAT IS HAPPENING EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING DAMN I LOVE IT but what i noticed immediately of course was the ANIMATION and MUSIC DESIGN like DAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! absolutely gorgeous and stylized in the cool way and sound cues and music giving SO much to every scene and. aaaahhhhhhhh art of film... i get why people do this shit its awesome

the place i watched from had subtitles(which i kinda need at this point, audio processing troubles grr) but literally every SINGLE spanish word they transcribed as [speaking spanish] like. I KNOW SHE SAID SI EVEN I KNOW THAT, which wasnt like too bad, most of the words used i could understand from context and just. them being used often in other english media w spanish in it, but Boi. i need to find if someone has compiled the language used to see if i missed anything i didnt recognize as Symbolic or Significant... ik there was smth when death left the OVAL/CATEYE OF FIREEEE like la muertos/muerte which means death ik but idk if there was smth else there i missed in the sentence construction/meaning bc i didnt quite hear it/understand it

why did this turn into a wholeass review. anyways watch puss in boots the last wish is fucking awesome and fun (also watch the first movie i remember liking it)

[doofnoof]

if you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog

Ough okay!!!!

Uhhh

1) I have a birthmark on the back of my right leg, it's lighter than everywhere else

2) I'm allergic to apricots!!! Apricot marmalade (or whatever it is. It's like a jam with many orange fruits in it but it's mostly Apricot and Oranges and I eat oranges all the time. Apricots are the only fruit included in the marmalade/jam that I don't eat much of) makes my throat and mouth itchy, which is too bad bc I think it's Delicious. At least I'm still good to eat peaches and nectarines!!! But not Apricots, weirdly enough. My aunt is allergic to peaches, so it Tracks.

3) I LOVE ZOMBIES SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!! The very first horror movie I ever saw was Resident Evil, and I blame it for my current love of zombies to this day. The way my mom has always recalled it to me, I was 4 years old and had seen my parents set up the PS4 to watch movies a few times and decided to try it out myself, and Resident Evil was in the PlayStation from the night before (the adults must've been watching it while I was sleeping) and I sat down and watched it, and then watched it again and again afterwards because I thought Alice was the coolest (most beautiful) woman I'd ever seen, and the Zombies were all super cool too. I was especially fond of the Lickers (the things with the long tongues) and I used to imagine taking one for walkies and scratching it's brain-head-thing like it was a dog. When I was eventually caught my mom was Very Upset but impressed that I'd figured it out all on my own and that I had it all figured out for like a week without anyone noticing, but the very first time I had a zombie themed nightmare Resident Evil was put on the High Up Adult Shelf never to be seen again until I hit double digits. Funny enough, a little while later I was watching my dad play Fallout 3 and when he walked into a bar and started talking to a Zombie Bartender I decided he was the most handsome man I'd ever seen and became Smitten with him. Come to find out, he was a Ghoul (not actually a Zombie) named Gob and he's still one of my most cherished favorite characters of all time. On top of that, when I was like 10 I could quote all of Zombieland word for word, for each and every character, and without even looking up from what I was doing list which zombies were in a scene. My Uncle found it kinda creepy the first time he saw me do it until eventually it became a game to see how long I could quote perfectly without messing up. I was entirely normal and not at all weird or obsessed with Warm Bodies (which absolutely didn't tap into my crush on Gob and my obsession with Romeo and Juliet, which I absolutely didn't read cover to cover in elementary school. /s. The school librarian wouldn't let me take the book I'd wanted home with me because it was Too Advanced so I picked a children's book out of spite, and once I was done reading it I wanted to read some more but had picked a book too far below my reading level, spotted a book abt the same size as the book I'd wanted at school on my grandma's bookshelf, saw the Ye Olde English, and decided I was gonna go for a challenge anyways bc Hecc You I Don't Do What You Tell Me. I didn't understand all of the jokes so I looked them up on the public library's computer later that week and once the stuff I didn't understand was Understood it became a personal favorite. I was insufferable abt it in English Class once I hit Highschool.)

Wow that was long!!! But zombies are super cool; as a metaphor, as a monster, as a marketing ploy, just. Zombies.

[embossross]

You've been too productive lately, the wait between the next chapters is going to be hard to bear ahah !

Now, what can I say, except THIS SUSPENSE 😱 ????!!!! You're spending too much time writing Rindu, you're becoming as sadistic as him.

Anyway, a little review because I'm trying to control myself for once, lol.

Firstly, I'm quite impressed that Rin makes phone calls in Yasuko's presence, bonten is so covered that he can afford it. It makes me feel a little sad for her, a million miles away from thinking that her wonderful lover is importing drugs. I still can't wait for her to learn the truth, even though I know she might suffer.

Also, I noticed that Yasuko and Reader from FHMTH both have a few daddy and mommy issues, if they didn't, would things be different ? Would Yasuko be dating older men ? And Reader... do we really need to elaborate on the fact that you have to have a little problem to fuck Hanma, no matter how hot he is ? 😅 Anyway, I'm doing counter psychology (idk if the expression exists in English) and I hate it. I was originally going to talk about the parents because Yasuko's mom seems so protective of her daughter and it's kind of fun to be able to talk about her relationship with her without judging her. I like their relationship, even if their place in the family is not very balanced.

One last question I have and then I'll stop hihi, Rindou who puts his work in the background, is Mikey going to be totally ok with that ? I mean, we know from the beginning that he's not a workaholic, but, can there be consequences ?

That's it, I'm done, I'm really really really excited and impatient for the next chapter and I wanted to tell you that after a quick calculation, this story really in my top 2, I love it so much so thanks again for sharing it with us ❤️

the way your mind works, i swear, i'm always so excited to hear your thoughts on the chapters! like you just make such good connections! and i'm so flattered that you are loving the story so much. dgm has a special place in my heart too!

i'm going to do a read more so i can give this the attention it deserves!

poor reader really has no idea about rindou’s job and is so not ready for the truth. in that scene, rindou’s not saying anything directly incriminating, she doesn’t understand shipping enough to follow, AND rindou is intentionally keeping her distracted. she never stood a chance.

also poor Doc and her mommy/daddy issues ☹ I feel so bad for her tbh. you’re so right that her issues are a key reason she’s able to be with hanma. most people would run and not look back after the eye gouging and Russian roulette incidents, but the childhood abuse Doc experienced really inoculated her against that. and her unexpected reactions are what makes hanma interested in her in the first place.

whereas with yasuko, her father is really a nonentity to her. she doesn’t have issues about him. BUT because she had to fulfill an adult role from a young age because of her family’s poverty, she feels far more mature than her age. worth considering that she’s several years older than her friends in her university program (22 while they’re 18/19) and would have been much younger than most of her coworkers at the factory, so her dating just kind of works out that way.

great question about rindou’s work ethic! Rindou cannot afford to slack off fr bc drugs are bonten’s 2nd biggest revenue stream and kokoni would be up his ass. it would probably fall to takeomi to discipline rindou if he wasn’t doing his job, as takeomi’s like bonten’s chief of staff to koko’s chief revenue officer.

mikey probably wouldn’t get involved. he’s pretty checked out at this point in the story.

but, rindou knows what he can and can’t get away with. he can reschedule a meeting with suppliers for you, but he wouldn’t be ditching, say, a meeting with mikey just because you called upset. he does his job and nothing more, and that’s good enough. it just looks like a fantasy to yasuko who comes from a working class background.

[daisyvstheworld]

Day 14 - Jan 14 - Salzburg

Oh dear god lmao

Some girl checked in to stay in the bed below me at midnight and she was making so much noise.. I woke up at 4am obviously and I think I did a stinking good job at being quiet. Although on the train I realized I forgot my underwear that I washed and left to dry on the bed. Oh well, it was an old shein pair.

I remembered in the early of the morning that I needed to remove the sheets which was a whole process - THAT was what was so loud when that girl checked in, freaking crazy

Anyways, I started walking at 4:30am to the Neubegasse U station and I almost panicked bc I thought it was closed for construction.

Anyways, I eventually found it and then I got to the Wien Westbanf train station and took the train no problem to Salzburg. It wasn’t super comfortable but I fell asleep for an hour or so and got to Salzburg on time!! I walked to the hostel and put my stuff in the locker. The hostel had free coffee so I had some and charged my phone. I realized I had time to walk around a bit so I walked around the east side of the old town area and ended next to Mirabell Palace where The Sound of Music tour stop was.

The tour bus was fairly full (mostly Australians, some English, and just a handful of Californians lmao) but I sat at the front so I could be closer to the tour guide, who I initially thought was fun but she ended up giving me a weird vibe.

We started driving around the city and then went to the palace hotel where the lake scenes and back of the house was filmed. It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny day, everything was perfect. She told us a bunch of great fun facts about the movie and how it compared to the actual Von Trapp family story, which I knew some of bc I read the wiki page the night before lol.

Our second stop was the -insert- palace where the bodega from “16 going on 17” was and the yellow long wall is from the song “I am Confident” also very pretty

Our third stop was this viewpoint in Mondsee that was LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST GORGEOUS VIEWS IVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I’m soooo grateful it was sunny!!!

After that we drove into the town bc that’s where the church where they filmed the wedding ceremony was and it’s so interesting how editing makes a place look soo different. This church is PINK! It looks so dark and emo in the movie. The town is cute and I bought a goat HAHAA

I tried apfelstrudel too but they served it cold so I was like meh it’s aight. People seemed to give me a really cold shoulder for traveling solo for some reason.

When we got on the bus tho some Australian asked the tour guide if the nuns actually sabotaged the Germans cars and like of course not lady they didn’t even run away from the Germans like that, that part is entirely made up. Except the guide said it in a nicer way and then the lady responded “Yeea naur yea naur ok” HAHA Australians are so funny I was dying

Anyways; after that we watched this doc that Liesl the oldest sister filmed a while back revisiting Salzburg and Mondsee.

The tour was just absolutely everything. It was amazing and I cried.

After we got back to town, our last stop was the Mirabell Palace and Gardens where they filmed Do Re Mi except in the winter it looks quite depressing bc the flowers aren’t in bloom, its not very green, and it’s blocked off. Sad. So I just rushed to old town to see the museums and fortress before everything closed. The town was bustling which was very cool. I started with the Mozart House and it was interesting to learn about him and his family. He died super young but composed so much in his time. I didn’t realize his dad was the talent that shaped him into a prodigy and that his sister was also a super talented pianist and composer.

Afterwards, I walked up to the Salzburg Museum which was super empty and much bigger than I expected. The history was quite interesting to learn about bc music and art is such a huge part of this town, especially with Mozart being nearly synonymous with Salzburg, but the political powers have also been trying to transform the town into an economic city beyond the tourism. I remember seeing the town when I first arrived and thinking it was far more modern than I expected.

I was starving after the museum, so I ran to Billa and grabbed another Mediterranean chicken sandwich and literally SCARFED it down while hiking up to the Fortress. I probably looked like a homeless person who hadn’t eaten in days.

The hike was brutal - I was sweating, but I caught the most BEAUTIFUL sunset. I was in AWE. This whole day was incredible. Panoramic views of the city. Missed the museums though lmao. I thought it closed at 6pm but it actually closed at 5pm. Thank god I left the museum early and made it for most everything though.

After that, I just went back to the hostel, showered, and decompressed. It was only like 6pm so I was like I should be social..

so I messaged on the Hostelworld app and a girl Lana said she was down, and then I was chatting with this guy in my hostel and he also was down to come out. He ended up being kind of weird. A big of a prick if I do say so myself. Lana was super awesome though and her suite friend was also super chill - both from Australia, different parts. We ended up spending the whole night together chatting, walking from one place to the other. We didn’t stay out too late but it was like 4-5 hours together! They both had pretty cool lives

Oh- we ran into other yoho mates but they was weird

One guy who lived in Italy from El Paso, lived in Korea who was dating this girl from Guam who “looked asian but isn’t” like wtf yes she is if she looks asian. And then he kept ripping on the US and I was like ok

So we ditched them

Went to a wine bar in old town

Walked into a 50th birthday by accident

Went into another wine bar

Dog loved my cuddles

Went home

Went to sleep

Awoke remembering I forgot to book my Swiss trains and realized they’re twice the price now and cried

[arthursknight]

ok I love shakespeare and have been meaning to reread some lays/branch out from what I read in school pls tell me where to start/what I need to know

CRACKS KNUCKLES

okay so it really depends on what your tastes are.

if you're an American (or really, anywhere outside of the UK), it is very likely you were not taught the histories, save for maybe richard iii. that is a goddamned shame. Fuck That. yes, the histories contain a lot of... well, history. there's names and places and shit that you probably won't recognise if you haven't been taught it. it will take some research and cursory knowledge for the reading of the plays (though i believe, as with all shakespeare, that if you know how to play the damn thing, then such details are irrelevant and the audience should understand what is happening regardless of their knowledge of context). but the histories contain some of the most gutwrenching portrayals of humanity i have ever seen. these are some hidden fucking gems, dude. which is silly to say bc like. it's shakespeare. the man is arguably the most known writer in the english language. but here i am, the president of the The Histories Are Good, Actually club, and i am telling you. read the histories.

good place to start is the henriad. *the sun shines, angels sing, flowers bloom, etc*

the henriad is the love of my life and yes I will elaborate, but probably later. it comprises of richard ii (my underrated love), henry iv parts i and ii, and henry v. henry iv pt i is, quite literally, my favourite shakespeare play. is it the best? objectively probably not. does it make me absolutely fucking insane? Yes. this is a whole separate post, babes, but the first time i saw henry iv pt i (and, at that time, i was well cemented in my shakespeare knowledge), i literally had to fucking pause my life and consume as much of it as i could. absolutely unbelievable. william, you're crazy for this one!!!!!

ahem.

weakest parts in my opinion are the back half of the henriad-- pt ii is a joke (sorry, will, babes, but. come on) and henry v, while still being about the Love Of My Life, has incredibly great moments and beats and scenes, but it just. it's not part i. you can never be that girl. (i am currently getting flayed as we speak for speaking this treason, esp for someone who literally cries every time they hear the st crispin's day speech)

anyway what were we talking about.

reread romeo and juliet and forget fucking everything any English teacher ever has taught you. i have Strong Opinions on romeo and juliet and in due time you will hear them but. reread it. stop applying any lens to it and just read the damn thing. form your own opinions. do not let Everyone Else's Opinion matter on this.

reread othello and really sink your teeth into why iago is the villain beyond the fact that he's literally called a villain. think about how incredibly radical it was for the villain of a play about a black man was, arguably, its most racist character. (we will have the Shakespeare And Race talk another time.)

reread hamlet just because that shit is a good play. reread macbeth and for the love of God stop taking it so seriously. we get it, it's about murder.

read king lear and let it wrench out your heart when you think about how age and madness can consume the best of us (and fucking shudder at the "let him smell his way to dover" line, jesus)

and read the comedies! the loves of my life! and don't you DARE listen to anything anyone tells you about taming of the shrew without first understanding that the crux of any shakespearean play is the idea of play. just trust me on that one and maybe i will elaborate if you buy me a cuppa.

read much ado. it's the love of my life.

just pick up the works and read. read titus, because it's an early work and it's a silly as fuck play and we all love young William in his Revenge Play era. read the tempest and weep about him being at the end of his life (though we have no real validation it was his last play, it is a later play, and the themes are there). read everything in between.

and, and this is most important

don't you dare listen to a single soul who tells you some posh snot nosed fuck from Oxford, of all places, wrote his plays instead. punch their classist nose right in. they deserve it.

enjoy my dear. i will be here with you to scream.

[hibiscxs]

Some Legacies 4x05 Thoughts

I’m annoyed bc I had a bunch of stuff typed up and then I lost it when the page refreshed

Anyway, I didn’t have the brainpower for a live react or a proper analysis bc Nanowrimo is taking all of it so these are pretty disorganized

I missed Rebekah so much! She does seem a bit more mature now than she was on TO. I always wanted to see Hope and Rebekah being that niece/aunt duo that are more like sisters (which would be more fun if they really did look the same age). I wish Marcel could have been with her. Does anyone know where Charles Michael Davis stands on having a cameo on Legacies?

But also, did anyone else think that Rebekah’s accent was a bit off? Guess it’s been a minute since Claire had to do an English accent. It sounded a little too posh, I think.

I think it’s so interesting that Rebekah brought the dagger and actually used it. I appreciate how it serves a dual purpose: showing us that Hope really isn’t affected by white oak the same way the Originals were, and providing a loaded moment where Rebekah uses the tactic that haunted her for a thousand years on her beloved niece. That being said, it’s obvious that she wasn’t using the dagger on Hope in the same way Klaus used them on her. Most likely, she was going to keep Hope daggered until they got to New Orleans. Same effect to snapping her neck except without the chance that Hope would wake up (except she didn’t consider that the dagger wouldn’t work properly on Hope).

I wish the Mikaelsons could have more than these 1-episode cameos. Still really confused that Freya said she was there to witness Hope’s transition into the Tribrid, but she seemed to totally disappear after she killed Hope? But, because of irl logistics and all that, I’m still grateful we get these 1-episode cameos at all.

I would be super impressed if they kill off Alaric. Haven’t read the future episodes’ synopses, so idk if Matt Davis is going to be in a lot of future episodes. I like how his “last words” are about his relationship with his daughters instead of the more predictable route of trying to get the twins to go after Hope and forgive her and help her. It just feels that right that, in his last moments, he’s overwhelmed with the thought of leaving his daughters.

Loved loved loved the scene with Ric and 13-year-old Hope. Summer Fontana is back! I hope she cameos more, but I get the feeling she won’t since DRR played 15-year-old Hope. Anyway, I always love a father/daughter Holaric scene.

Speaking of Holaric scenes, kinda disappointed that Hope didn’t suck him to near-death in addition to beating the crap out of him. Not in an anti-Alaric way, but just because I’m living for dark vampire Hope

Speaking on that, vampire Hope with no humanity is everything I wanted. And clearly, DRR is living her best life playing her. The compulsion, the drinking, the knife in the hand, and throwing darts at that vampire? I hope the show sticks with this vibe for their vampires. I hope she gets a few more episodes with her humanity off just because it’s so fun and I really want to see how the characters develop now that they’re at odds with Hope and she isn’t at the school, but I also can’t wait for when the flip happens and Hope deals with her grief and the fallout from whatever she does while her humanity is off. 

It’s amazing that Hope finally gets to be show as interested in women, but it is off that they’ve only had her doing so now that she’s at her most immoral. Kinda how Penelope was only shown to be interested in guys when she was being manipulative. 

Unpopular opinion ig, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with Josie being upset that she didn’t voice what she wanted in terms of the head dive. She acknowledges it and identifies it as a recurring problem for her, she didn’t blame Lizzie and didn’t even insinuate that it was Lizzie’s fault. Lizzie attributing it to her selfishness when it wasn’t is an issue of her own that she needs to work on.

I’ve been sick of Mizzie for a while bc imo they can treat each other awfully and Lethan was never interesting for me. So this better not be a love triangle and better end up in a poly, because it’s a waste of time if it’s not. I’m getting mixed signals about it, because at times it feels like MG and Ethan are Lizzie’s “options” and others that Methan still has that romantic tension and the three of them seem to be equally invested in each other. CW, please redeem yourself from the missed opportunity that was Memoraven

Also seems to be a kind of unpopular opinion, but I really don’t mind if they’re “reverting” back to that TO S5 plot of an organization that wants to get rid of “abominations” like a tribrid. The Daywalkers were lame af esp with Charles and his hoodie lmao but the premise itself is pretty solid and makes a lot of sense. Plus, Hayley’s last words to Hope about her being everything that they fear bc she’s all three factions is a theme in Hope’s story that I’ve always wanted to come back. Also, the School has always operated on the theme that the kids are there bc the outside world doesn’t accept them, so this fits with Legacies pretty well.

Lizzie-wise, I find it really interesting how she reacts to people harming her family/most loved ones (when Hope manipulated Josie into taking her magic back and now). She really goes ham with her frustration and becomes very judgy with their intentions/thought process. It’s very Mikaelson-esque, but without the part where the Mikaelsons usually end up grudgingly understanding the person who hurt their family bc its something they would do too. Not saying it’s a bad thing. It’s just interesting.

Saw the promo and ehhh I would have preferred it if Hope was on her own for a while more (or runs into Clarke bc Triad). I don’t want it to get to the point where they’re all back together quite yet, because I don’t trust the writers to not immediately make NoHumanity!Hope kid-friendly again bc she’s with the others.

I do not think that it’s Aurora on the phone. It sounds nothing like her, and wouldn’t Freya have noticed if the sleeping vampire in her home disappeared? For some reason I suspected Emma but that’s probs just bc she cameod (suspiciously short cameo) and bc of her accent. It would make absolutely no sense for it to be Emma. I’d honestly be mad if they did that to her character.

Still have no clue what that Triad vampire meant about the “original bloodlines”. Maybe we could get into the “first witches” and maybe some direct descendant from Inadu’s tribe, but we already know who the Original Vampires are so that wouldn’t work. Thinking that they’ll be the direct descendants of the original three who created Malivore in the first place, I guess? It could be interesting, so long as Malivore doesn’t come back. I think that villain has been played out.

Again, it’s so weird how unbothered everyone is that (to their knowledge) Hope killed killed Landon. Like they just go on with their days. It’s weird enough that they all just chilled at school after they got Cleo back/after Ric brought Kaleb back. You’d think they would have gone back out there to back Hope up or pick up the pieces from the battle they knew she was in? But yeah, the fact that they’re so chill is weird. No fucking wonder Hope was able to get Ric alone to attack him. It’s like everyone says “alright, I’m done” after they do the one task they’ve been assigned. This isn’t even unique to this episode. It’s like this a majority of the time.

Also, Cleo making that tree! When do you think she’ll bring up the idea she had to the rest of the group?

[saintobio]

watch suna and the reader both die romeo and juliet style-- nothing screams tragedy more to me than shakespeare. like suna gets killed by the prince fionn over the reader and suna's wives murder the reader or something like that

Anonymous said

omg it’s my bday and i get an update as a gift hehe. the second to last scene had me twirling my hair and blushing and shit only for it to get ruined sentences later :’( i can’t wait til the next part, hopefully the nurse admits the truth to rin or something cuz I can’t stand him being mad. but amazing work as always, that definitely goes without saying <33

Anonymous said

petition to smack ci'an's daughter 😍

omg i miss writing olal 🥲 writing too much modern au will make my archaic english rusty but i promise i’ll continue writing the script soon! sy4 is nearly finished so, you’ll understand what that “tragedy” tag is for hhhhh

oh and happy birthday to u second anon :’)

Anonymous said

hi saint!! hope you're well! i just read your most recent update for olal, and i reread wastelands a week ago!! really enjoy your version of rin!! like omg thank you for blessing us with such good writing!

hmm I dont want to be rude... but I was wondering, do you happen to know other writers that write for him? i don't want to sound mean, but i often times find his fics to be written in a way where he's so toxic... and he's slowly becoming a character that i'm finding comfort in, and it doesn't make me feel good reading such fics about him like that. 😭

i really enjoyed wastelands!rin and olal!rin, so I wanted to ask if you knew any other writers that characterized him well?

if not, then that's okay!!! i hope you are having a wondering day or night, and have a happy new years!!

igwym 😹 suna has the appeal of being a toxic bf and idk if it’s bc of his appearance or what but i jus know he’s a meow meow deep inside. anyways, you can try these blogs who write for him!!

@sunaerin @sunasbabie @sunamour @sukirichi @8kh @rinstars

Anonymous said

Your theme is so beautiful 😭😭 what is the manga/manhwa that inspired it? Also loved your previous previous theme with the girl in the choker! What was that from, again?

thank u!! the manhwa is “i lost the leash of the yandere male lead” and the girl in the choker is moka akashiya from “rosario + vampire” :)

[nerdynuala]

hc/ oneshot of levi coaching hanji bc they were about to fight w the mp bc someone was making fun of them?

First off, I'm so so sorry anon I really took my sweet time with this one.

The thing is I don't usually write anything beside very random headcanons when inspiration hits lol

I've been debating whether to try this or redirect you to a fanfic writer's blog since I'm not confident about my writing and my English is kinda rubbish imo.

But yeah, in the end I gave it a try. Also, sorry Anon but I'm not sure if I got exactly what you were asking for, and I went full MP huge fight mode. And it's kinda turned into vets stuff. I still suggest you ask a writer to do this, there's many cool blogs out there who can do a much better job in half the time lol

Anyway, if you wanna read my poor attempt at writing, here it is.

Warning: just some swearing, she/her pronouns for Hange

"Look, if it isn't the crazy bitch from the Survey Corps" a man with a raspy voice barked.

Hange dreaded those meetings with the MPs, no one in the Survey Corps could stand them, to be honest, but still, they had to put up the façade and feign some civil behaviour for the sake of the Scouts and the funding. Hange was well aware she had trouble controlling her temper most of the times, and experience taught her that she couldn't stand the Military Police talking badly about her comrades.

She knew that Levi and herself together managed to make a few scenes before, and Erwin particularly stressed it every time before one of these meetings. "And please, please I beg all of you to refrain from making scenes or even talking back to anyone. We're there to make a good impression, we need funds and fo heaven's sake the last thing we need is for them to have an excuse to think even less of us and undermine our funds" he said every time, with a pointed look directed at Levi and Hange.

She turned and stared right at the Military Police man who was talking about her. She smiled and waved, "Yes, that would be me, it's a pleasure to meet you!".

Levi snorted at the facial expression the idiot made. He hoped that Hange brushing him off like that would settle it, but he had been to enough meetings to know it wasn't over at all.

"She probably didn't score high enough to get into the good Corps. That's what they do isn't it?" the man nudged a colleague in the chest, gesturing towards Hange.

"Aye, scoring shit and then ending up in some titan's mouth. They're replaceable anyway" the pug-faced man joined the teasing.

Levi could sense Hange tense next to him. He knew what she felt, he loathed hearing comments about his comrades just as much as she did.

She laughed it off, though. "Maan I would love to watch the insides of a Titan! What do we have to lose? Another cadet will score shit and they can take my place. Unless some of you feel the thrill of bravery once in your life and decide to join" she shrugged. "Who knows".

Levi knew this could only get worse. He tugged her sleeve. "Hange, come, let's join Mike and Erwin".

"My, my, if it isn't humanity strongest!"

"The underground scum you mean"

"No, no, he's a hero now, isn't he? Should've been thrown to prison and was rescued by Smith like a fucking stray dog"

Both men laughed, while others were gathering around.

"Shut the fuck up all of you!" Levi admitted to himself he would have snapped just like that, but Hange had anticipated him. His eyes went slightly wide for a moment, but then his lips briefly curled up in a small smirk upon seeing the fervor in Hange's brown orbs.

He would have loved to join her and teach a lesson to those morons, sure, but they promised Erwin.

He tugged again at her sleeve. "Oi, it's not worth our time, let's go".

The MPs laughed. "Only thing that's worth the time or your sorts is getting minced up by some stinky titan's mouth".

Hange tensed and she opened her mouth to strike back, but Levi gently made her turn to face him.

"Let's not get into trouble", he said, staring directly in her eyes.

"But Levi you should-"

"Yeah I want to break their fucking noses as much as you do. But we promised Erwin" he tugged once more.

The MPs laughed again, louder this time.

"Erwin Fucking Smith keeping his lapdogs tamed!" roared the pug-faced one.

"No wonder he needs to tame them" laughed another one with an annoying high-pitched voice, "look at the kind of lapdogs he got himself! One's a nutcase eager to step into a Titan's mouth, the other one is a pint-sized thug fetched straight from the filthy undergound" they all laughed. "I think we're missing one..." he feigned thinking hard, with a hand on his chin.

"What did you expect from the Survey Corps and Fucking Smith? That's the best he could get, to be fair" a black-haired man joined them.

"Not that he particularly cares..." he added with an unpleasant smirk "these are just chunks of meat he is more than willing to feed to titans, anyway".

That was it. That was just what drove Hange over the top and Levi knew it. He could feel her clenching her fist under his hand, he felt her muscles tremble. He looked at her, she was clenching her jaw, a fiery light in her eyes, cheeks slightly flushed. She briefly looked at him, and he didn't need words of any sorts. He let go of her arm and nodded.

Hange launched herself at the black-haired man and punched him on the jaw.

Everyone was shocked.

"Do you idiots have anything else to say?" She challenged them. "You can talk shit about me all you want, I don't give a damn, but show some respect to my comrades, people willing to DIE for your fat asses"

Levi watched her. She was scary, definitely scary when angry. He briefly smirked to himself, she had used one of the moves he taught her while sparring.

She suddenly grabbed the collar of the pug-faced man. She lifted her fist and the man flinched.

Levi approached her but he just glared at the MPs. "I won't restrain her, you called it".

He turned towards Hange. "If you punch him in the nose like I thaught you, you'll knock him out and fuck him up, but not enough to kill him".

"I know" she growled, but she clearly was trying to control her impulse to strike him.

The man had the courage to smirk. "Did Smith manage to tame the thug but not this nutcase of a weirdo?".

Hange hit him on front of his nose with the heel of her palm. He passed out instantly.

It was chaos, the other two men launched themselves against Hange. Levi announced "I've got your back, Hange" and the fight started getting bad. Levi's eyes were checking Hange all the time, he knew she could handle it but he resolved he would avoid risking her getting hurt.

Erwin, across the enourmous room, paled. He heard shouting and suddenly a group of people were hitting each other. Levi and Hange had been gone for a while, and he had a gut feeling they were right in the middle of it.

He was speaking to an important old man who may just want to fund the Corps if he worked him correctly, he couldn't leave him. Not now. Erwin subtly excused himself and fetched Mike, without getting more than two steps away from the man.

"Stop them" he whispered close to his ear.

Mike's eyes travelled to the corner of the room and took notice of the fight. He didn't see Hange and Levi since there were a lot of people gathered around, but he didn't need to see them to know they were there.

He stared at Erwin. "The two of them?" he whispered back, "You think I can stop the two of them? Are you nuts?".

"Just do something, please. I can't leave this one, he's going to fund us with some good amount of money" he clapped Mike's shoulder.

Mike sighed. "Fine" he said, murmuring something along the lines of "wish me luck" while he made his way to fetch his friends.

He sure had to admit he didn't think it was this bad. Hange was clearly having the upper hand and she was the one who was hitting the most.

He grabbed her from behind and lifted her up, gesturing to Levi to stop the fight and keep the opponents away. She kicked around and ended up elbowing him on the temple.

"Fuck" he hissed, gripping her waist tighter "Hange stop! It's me!".

Suddenly, Levi was on his side.

"Let go, Mike, I'll show them" Hange was struggling to get out of his arms, hitting him in the process.

"Levi do something! What the hell" he hissed again, getting frustrated.

Levi caught Hange's wrist and she looked at him. "That's enough, Hange" he said calmly and she sighed and tried calming down.

Hange's gaze lingered on the mess she and Levi made. Well, it was mostly Hange's doing.

Feeling her relax in his arms, Mike released her and let her again on the floor.

"Erwin's gonna kill the both of you" he looked around. His eyes stopping and widening as he took notice of the limp man on the floor, two of the MPs were lightly slapping his cheek. "Is he-?"

"Just passed out" Levi interrupted.

Mike sighed and rubbed a hand on his face.

"There's the lapdog we were missing" the man with the high-pitched voice chimed up. "The sniffing weirdo".

Mike smirked. He put a big hand on Hange's shoulder and turned her aroun. "Let's go, Hange. Levi" Levi nodded and started to follow him, when the man with the black hair spoke up again.

"I've always thought he is involved with Smith"

Mike laughed. "I sure love that man, but I don't think the nature of our relationship is any concern of yours"

"That explains why he's been around for so long. Smith doesn't want to feed him to a titan like the fucking rest of these idiots"

Hange turned around vehemetly, but Levi stopped her before she could speak. "That's enough, Hange, they weren't even worth our time to begin with" he said in merely more than a whisper.

Mike stopped in his tracks.

"I'll have you idiots know he's been around for so long because he's fucking capable of staying alive and keep his squad alive. I'd love to see some of you out there" Mike was surprised Levi interjected to defend him, but the insults towards his capability wasn't really what had bothered him.

"Listen here" he said, turning around to face them. "You can say all the shit you want about myself, but not a word about my friends or Erwin for that matter-"

They laughed. "Isn't it funny how they fucking defend him and the coward is just throwing them to their deaths instead?". The black-haired man roared with laughter "Fucking idiots".

Without warning, Mike punched one in the face and Hange punched the other on the nose, the loud crack all too telling as to what happened to the bones.

Mike sighed. "I guess Erwin can't kill the three of us in one go".

Levi walked closer to Hange. "You okay?".

She nodded and stared at him. "Thanks for trying to stop me. And for understanding I didn't-"

"Want to be stopped" he finished for her. "I get it. I'll always have your back, Hange, but let's be more careful next time. They weren't worth it and I don't want to risk you getting hurt".

She smiled. "I got carried away, but you saw I actually learned your moves?"

Levi smiled. "Yeah, we should work on them".

She nudged his arm "That's not true, they were perfect and you know it".

"Yes, they were perfect".