#mostly for the pool
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nonbinary-octopus · 10 months ago
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how do you get contact lenses anyway
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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keferon · 2 months ago
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Two Peas in a Pod: part 2/?
*slips another piece into your mailbox*
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Jazz was still feeling a little woozy from his donation in the dark hours of the morning. Blaster had breakfast changed from the usual to something that felt more like a treat, probably a reward for his good behaviour, and to help his body recover. Fish heavy in proteins, fat, all that healthy stuff. Something that normally he would have tried to savour, but he wolfed it down from excitement. Too many questions ran through his head, and most he couldn't bring himself to voice.
The mer, the mer would pull through. Blaster told him about how he had saved their life with his blood. Praised him high and low. Because Blaster knew how Jazz felt about seeing blood, about how hard blood tests were for him, and that was only a tiny vial. Not three big bags of it. Jazz hadn't seen how much they had taken – because he had kept his eye closed until they left in a hurry –, and hearing about it made him dizzy for other reasons, but he honestly felt real proud of himself.
It was a new feeling, different from other moments of pride – like when he figured out the lock codes. Yeah, this gave him butterflies and the drive to help more.
Blaster laughed when Jazz offered that the vets could take more if the other mer needed it. His handler didn't think it would be, but he would pass it on to the vet team.
Jazz's morning checks were a little off, expected with having a little less fluids and feeling off-balance, but it was kept short and quick. Blaster told him that if he learned anything more, he'd tell him next time he came by and then hurried back down to the staff area. Blaster was needed elsewhere, understandably as there weren't many mer experts here, though he did leave Jazz his waterproof stereo if he wanted to play some of his favourites.
But, the orca mer was far too busy causing a whirlpool from the laps he was swimming. He was too excited to sit still, and embarrassment be damned he started practising old vocals. He didn't remember much of his mother tongue, and he was pretty sure that his pronunciation was off, that or had one hell of an accent. Echo-speech was even more rusty. And once he had gone over and over what he could recall, Jazz began to really worry. A few sentences and handful or so of words was all he had? Gods, I hope I can at least make a decent first impression. Blaster said they were just like me, so hopefully, that will give me some starting points.
More than he cared to count, Jazz would swim into the shallow waters of the medical bay and hope to see something through that window. But no one ever came close enough for him to hear any news of the mer. He couldn't even see anything on his radar, wherever they had done treatment, it wasn't in the hospital ward. It almost felt like he was being purposely kept in the dark.
And just when Jazz was starting to worry that things had taken a bad turn, a group of staff turned up around four pm. He wasn't able to ask any questions, or rather they refused to answer. Shooing him away as they got to work. Starting with closing the gate to the bay to 'keep him out'. Jazz could easily climb those walls, but that wasn't the point. Even if the gate window was closed, he could pick up that they were setting up the water hammock. But it wasn't until he heard the cautionary beeping of the hoist lift approaching that it dawned on him – the mer was coming. Now.
"Jazz," Blaster called, "… Jazz," he blew the training whistle and finally got his mer's attention. "Stop pacing and get over here."
"But–" Jazz looked back longingly up the wall.
"Jazz," his tone dropped to a firm one, and Jazz begrudgingly swam over to the pier. The human crouched and made sure that they held eye contact before he spoke. "I need you to promise me that you will stay in your enclosure."
He sunk a little, trying to play into his cuteness, but being far too anxious to really pull it off. "What do you mean?"
"Jazz," now warning him. Blaster knew full well that he was more than capable of getting into or out of places he shouldn't, bloody Houdini mermaid, "this is serious. Things are going well, we want to keep it that way. Which means keeping things calm and feeling safe. You're excited, I get it, we all are. But in about an hour, they'll be waking up and – from past experience seen with wild Mers – they will likely freak out. And the last thing we need is you hauling your tail over that wall and making things worse. Understand?"
The beeping was louder how and the hiss of hydraulics caused Jazz to look up. The arm of the lift was visible over the wall. They're here!
"Jazz," Blaster hopelessly called for his attention once more.
Within moments, a massive bundle was carefully raised, the staff calling out and coordinating. Jazz's gaze was fixed on the black and white fluke poking out, it was the only part of them he could see, and his heart began to race. Once they became hidden by the wall again, Jazz moved back to pacing by the gate without even thinking. Listening to people hopping into the water to unstrap the mer and call back n' forth. "Careful, careful! – Watch the head! – Someone give me a hand over here! – We're clear on this side! – Keep the head up!"
Really starting to sound like a broken record, Blaster chirped the whistle and called out to him again. The expression he wore must have been pretty pitiful because the look on Blaster's face dropped. "If I open the view port… will you promise me that you will wait, that you will stay in your enclosure?"
"I promise," he answered hastily, placing his hands on the gate, over the panel that would slide open.
"And that you will wait until everything is in the clear, till the staff come to oversee the integration. There will be no rushing things and no asking staff when we will open the gate."
"I promise," he repeated, trying not to beg.
Satisfied, Blaster pulled out his radio, "Blaster to Control; when the team is out of the Mer enclosure's medical bay, open the view port. Jazz's stress is mounting without a visual."
"Can do," came a quick reply.
Though, opening the panel was not. Several minutes went by, the hoist had cleared out, and much of the staff had returned to their other duties. Only two remained double-checking the mer's breathing and pulse. The moment that the last of them left, Jazz heard the lock disengage, and he retracted his hands as the panel shifted and began to slide open. The window was too small to get more than his hand – maybe up to his elbow if he wanted to push it – through, and sat just at water level– any movement sending water hopping to either side. But it gave him a clear view of the surface area inside.
Oh.
Oh. Jazz stopped breathing. While the mer's body was mostly supported by the fabric of the hammock, cradling them on their side, effectively hiding most of them from Jazz's angle. Propped up on a soft floating platform was the mer's head, face towards the gate. Sharp features and elegantly shaped finials, with flattering lines of their markings complimenting the peaceful expression as they slept. The butterflies from earlier came back stronger than ever, his heart thundering as words fumbled from Jazz's lips, "he's beautiful…"
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-GLC
Orca Prowl really is just-- too fucking pretty, omg, I'm living through Jazz in this moment like when I first saw your designs of him.
I'm more than happy to continue writing for you, you bring me so much joy. I screamed when I saw how much you liked it. If you have any requests you would like me to add to the story, leave it in the tags or comments ♡ I now plan to continue until the tsunami and a bit afterwards, maybe more, we'll see~
Upd: There is a next part!
Previous
Oh. MY GOD. OKAY ALRIGHT OKAY ALRIGHT OKA
I'M ABOUT TO START PACING IN CIRCLES JUST LIKE JAZZ OVER HERE KDLCNFJFLFB PL E A S E THIS IS SO GOOD. The tension?? You can fucking TASTE it IT'S SO GREAT GLC I LOVE YOU
The way it all starts at night and then you (as a reader) have all this additional time to boil in your anticipation?? So fucking great. Like you can really feel how little power Jazz has over the wholse situation. The plot is moving but he doesn't have any saying in it. Well. Yet heheh
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Anyway haha. Im normal and I made some art>:D
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#apocalyptic ponyo#jazzprowl#jazz#prowl#blaster#ponyo jp writing#GLC#merformers#maccadam#transformers#damn imagine living your whole life with stupid dolphins and pretty much equally stupid captive merfolks#and then meeting a guy with an Engineering degree#must be wild~~~~#Wait I just realized. Those workers never had any experience with sapient merfolks besides Jazz#they all are like “he will freak out” but their understanding is based mostly on animals and captive mers#and those tend to become VERY stressed if they suddenly wake up in some new strange environment and discover they have a company#while with Prowl it would be the exact opposite I imagine??? omg. After all the time he was kept in those tiny ass temporary pools???#having no company besides humans who are constantly poking him and staring at him and making him take their weird medication an-#-d sometimes drugs if he acts aggressively?#like after all this shit???#I have a feeling he would see/hear other orca nearby and his first initial reaction would be OH THANK FUCK there's a company#orcas are very VERY social after all~#I got carried away haha. I LOVE THE FIC SO MUCH#MUAH#this is freaking amazing#.....damn okAY one more thought I just had#there's only a small window for them to look at each other#Prowl wouldn't properly see Jazz ehehehjfkfnfmfj. He would sorta kinda see him right. But then he would ACTUALLY look at him. like.#for the first time see his entire body? and Jazz looks SO wrong#Okay I'm done spamming haha
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archiepelago · 7 months ago
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alternate surface au inspired by a few ive seen around on tumblr :3
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lechatonetlacoccinelle · 7 days ago
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You gotta love how in every universe, timeline and iteration ever written, you can always count on a betting pool taking place at O.W.C.A
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nocek · 1 year ago
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And this concludes the grand crossover event
(or does it?)
(it does but I was given a great idea for how to solve Gwen's problem :) )
the timeline of previous relevant comics:
[Jeff has a great fashion sense and Peter is the best hooker]
[Jeff is found and fucks are lost]
[bro landed up in the wrong universe and all he got out of it is a lousy bow]
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the-barefoot-hatter · 3 months ago
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does Bill ever plan to introduce Pyramid Steve to the henchmaniacs? Or did they ever accidentally find out about him on their own, before he skedaddles through the portal? How would they react?
it would be irresponsible to let Pyramid Steve wander around in the mindscape/nightmare realm alone! he's just a baby!!! they were introduced before, but overall weren't very impressed
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Bill's a great spin doctor, but its a tough sell to bunch of hardcore, hard drinking, proudly immature party demons... It's hard being the first in the friendgroup to spawn :c
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absolutely-esme · 2 years ago
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Monster!Tim Coraline AU Idea
This idea would not leave me alone.
It’s a cross between a meta!/magic!Tim au and a Coraline au.
Before I get into it, I feel like I should explain.  I was on a bit of an Eldritch!Batfamily and Cryptid!Batfamily kick.  Then I found a collection of supernatural Tim aus.  Then I stumbled across a Coraline au.  There’s probably also some inspiration in there from vampire au fics.
It didn’t really jell until the idea occurred to me of a scene where some frightened villain asks Tim “What kind of monster are you?” and Tim says “The hungry kind.”
...
The idea is that somewhere back along the way, Tim’s family tree includes some kind of supernatural creature which may or may not have been an eldritch entity.
The supernatural heritage allows Tim to acquire abilities from other entities he has defeated, and Gotham is absolutely full of the supernatural if you pay attention.
Of course, Tim’s power isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.  It actually comes packaged with some pretty nasty side effects.
One of those side effects is perpetual Hunger.  Tim is always Hungry.  There is no way to stop it.  He eats enough to stay healthy, but he still feels Hunger at all times.  Increasing his food intake will not help and will screw up his metabolism and cause him to need more for normal function.  If this was allowed to spiral out of control it could eventually reach a point where he was physically unable to eat the amount of food he needed to function and starved to death on a full stomach. 
Fixing it is stupid hard because this particular sort of magical inheritance is really fucking inconvenient.  And, of course, whatever is up with his biology also makes him insanely susceptible to addiction, so no coffee for him unless he wants caffeine withdrawal symptoms all the time for however long it takes to fix that.  The constant Hunger also makes it difficult to get enough sleep.  Have you ever tried to go to sleep on an empty stomach?  Not easy, was it?  Imagine that every night.
The Hunger is fairly central to the nature of the magic.  Whatever supernatural entity he’s descended from, it is the Hungry kind.  The ritual of defeating another supernatural entity, taking a bit of the defeated entity’s power, and incorporating it into himself serves as a sort of metaphorical devouring, (and metaphors matter more to magic than they do to normal biology).  That’s why he’s able to gain power and abilities from defeated foes. 
...
Tim’s relationship with his parents is complicated.  His supernatural heritage comes from his mother’s side of the family.  She did her best to teach him about it and how to cope with it, but a lot of knowledge was lost over the generations due to persecution forcing those like them into hiding more than once.  There may have been a few individuals who spiraled out of control and caused small-scale famines before losing their lives.  It only takes a few cases for people to decide that a specific category of people is simply not worth the risk of having around.  Janet always referred to herself and Tim (as well as anyone else sharing the condition) as “those afflicted with Gluttony.”  This is the closest they have to a name for the condition.
One of the important things Janet Drake teaches her son is to pursue his passions.  It is incredibly important for individuals like them to have things outside the self that they can draw satisfaction and fulfilment from, things that keep them going in the face of the relentless Hunger.  This is what leads Tim to his night-time photography of Gotham, and eventually to his fascination with the Bats. 
Janet’s passions are archeology and travel.  Unfortunately, traveling from dig site to dig site is not a particularly stable or safe environment to raise a child in.  She needs to do these things to remain in good health.  Without her external coping mechanisms, she could start spiraling.  If she starts spiraling, it might trigger her son to start spiraling too because children in their developmental years are delicate, and this type of hereditary magic is fucking inconvenient (there might be ways of managing things that make it easier to live with, but between the knowledge lost and the risks that come with experimentation, they don’t have much info on how anything works).  She comes home as much as she can without the risk of compromising both their health.
She also taught Tim how to calculate appropriate portion sizes based on nutritional data so as not to screw up his metabolism, and how to fix it if he does mess up.  She also stayed and managed the process the first time it happened because the process of returning the metabolism of one afflicted with Gluttony to normal after it’s gotten out of hand is difficult and unpleasant and Tim wasn’t old enough to handle it by himself.  The nanny that had overfed him hadn’t been malicious or unreasonable, she’d just been operating on the assumption that he had standard human biology.  It took months to get Tim healthy again.  It took several hefty bribes to keep things under wraps.  Janet doesn’t know if there are still people out there hunting their kind, but she’s not willing to risk it.
Janet may not know about the aspect of the family magic that lets them gain powers from defeating other entities.  It’s possible that she was holding off on explaining this until he was older and more ready for the responsibility of multiple superpowers.  It’s also possible that the knowledge got lost somewhere along the way and Janet didn’t discover it herself because she didn’t spend her childhood running around Gotham at night and was more the sort of person who would stay home and read when she had trouble sleeping.
...
Tim discovers his ability to gain abilities from defeating other supernatural things fairly early on.  The type of defeat can vary, but it has to be something of significance.  A fight will work for most, but there are other particular challenges that will work for specific cases.
The first things a young Tim is able to beat are these small things, invisible to most, that gain power from learning secrets.  What that power is used for, I couldn’t tell you.  They don’t seem to do much other than sneak around and learn secrets.  Tim doesn’t know if there’s a proper name for these things or not, but he calls them Secret Hunters.  They are absolutely everywhere in Gotham. 
Secret Hunters are invisible to most, but Tim is able to see them.  It might be because of his own supernatural nature, or it might be something else entirely.  If it’s hereditary it must have skipped his parents’ generation.  Neither of them seem to be able to see them.  Tim gains improved stealth and a sense for when something is hidden from catching Secret Hunters until they wise up and start avoiding him.  (Catching them works in place of a fight because secret hunters primarily operate on stealth and evasion.)
He can’t just magically know secrets, but he can tell when there is a secret.  (He still figured out Batman’s and Robin’s secret identities on his own merit.  The most this ability would have done is alert him to the fact that they had secret identities if that hadn’t already been obvious from the fact that they were wearing masks.)
He also gets various other abilities from other things he encounters while scrambling all over Gotham at night.  Nearly doesn’t get out of some of the scrapes he gets himself into.  He gains the ability to cut with his fingernails as if they were razors from something that nearly killed him.  He gains the ability to climb like a goat from a Jersey Devil.  Etc.
...
At some point, Tim is targeted by a beldam.  He doesn’t get the kind of warnings that Coraline does, but his ability to sense secrets lets him know that the Beldam is hiding something, and any child raised in any part of Gotham knows to be suspicious of things that seem too good to be true.  Tim doesn’t have a convenient seeing stone from the neighbor, but he does have the advantage of his own supernatural nature which the Beldam doesn’t know about.
Tim finds a button-eyed doll that looks like him after his parents leave on yet another trip, and thinks it’s a gift they meant to give him before leaving.  They do often bring interesting souvenirs.  It wouldn’t be at all unusual for them to find an artist who sews dolls to look like people and have one made based on pictures of him.  Later on, he discovers the key. 
This Beldam is older and more powerful than the one from Coraline.  She has more power and more past victims to work with, so she’s able to make a larger, more populated world. 
Oh by the way, I head-canon that the Other versions of people in the Other world are actually past victims of the Other Mother, remade and dressed up for whatever role she has them play.  The three ghosts were just the three most recent and not fully processed for use yet.  That’s why the Others are able to act against her sometimes (Other Wybie saving Coraline from the mirror, Other Father tossing the eye to Coraline) or say things she doesn’t want them too (Other Father says “so sharp you won’t feel a thing” and Other Mother kicks him under the table).
The Other Mother doesn’t know all that Tim knows, so the Other World has inconsistencies like Other Batman and Other Robin sitting across the table from Other Bruce and Other Jason.  She doesn’t know they’re the same people.  She just knows that they’re all important to Tim.  She also tries to tell him to “eat as much as he wants” when his real mother was the one to explain the dangers of attempting to eat to fullness for people with their condition.
There isn’t a cat to warn Tim but he doesn’t need it.  He can sense hidden intentions in everything, and he’s fully capable of uncovering the hidden secrets himself. 
Tim doesn’t have a cat, but he does have Other Robin, who might have been made from whatever remained of someone close to one of the people mirrored in the Other World made for Tim.  He doesn’t remember his life, but somehow he feels incredibly motivated to help a boy who cares dearly for whoever and is willing to let him know that they're living a good life out there in the real world.
Tim discovers the nature of the other world and sets out to free the souls trapped there.  He fights the Beldam will all the viciousness and desperation of someone who knows they’ve only got one shot.  He takes everything he can from this fight as he makes sure she won’t ever hurt anyone again.  He doesn’t stop until the beldam is well and truly dead.  Then he unravels Other Gotham and spills all of the souls out into the world where they can move on and rest.
This is how Tim learns to Sew.  He can’t make entire populated worlds like the beldam, but that’s mostly because he refuses to do what she did.  He can control things he’s made (though there’s limits on how much) and even see through buttons he’s sewn (onto cushions and such, he's not the Other Mother).  He also gets some minor illusory powers that let him make things look a bit brighter/nicer/cheerier than they are.  It takes quite some time before he’s comfortable with using these powers.  Trauma is a bitch like that.
Part of the reason this version of Tim was so desperate to do something about Batman losing it out of grief is because he already has Evil Batman trauma from Other Batman, and he doesn’t need that shit happening in real Gotham.
By this point Tim has a collection of powers that allow him to navigate the more dangerous parts of Gotham largely without fear.  Now he has to learn how to manage without using any that he isn’t one hundred percent certain he can sneak past Batman, which means he’ll have to divide his attention between learning from the training and not letting himself do things the supernatural way.  This is going to suck.
It does, in fact, suck.
Oh, it turns out some of the rogues are a bit supernatural.  He gains a bit of an intuitive understanding of the health of plants from Ivy.  He gains the ability to taste emotions from Scarecrow.  (Also, Johnathan Crane is a freaking weirdo, fear tastes like spoiled milk!)  The rogues with supernatural tendencies are freaking terrified of the new Robin because he always seems like he wants to freaking eat them.  The non-supernatural types don’t get it.
Eventually, Red hood breaks into Titan’s tower.  Tim, by this point, is very good at deciphering how supernatural entities work and is packing an extensive inventory of powers.  He realizes quickly that this is some kind of manipulative entity that feeds on rage and pain attached to an unwitting host.  When he realizes that the unknowing (and therefore unconsenting) host is Jason Todd, he tells the Lazarus Entity in no uncertain terms to give Jason back or perish.
Jason, who does not realize he has a malicious, mind-warping, supernatural parasite and believes there to be no one other than himself and Tim present, is understandably confused.
Tim decides that the Lazarus entity has had its chance and springs into action.
Jason is treated to the terrifying sight of just what Tim Drake is like when he’s not expending conscious effort on not being something out of a horror movie.  Suddenly he’s in the middle of a spider’s web and no matter how hard he tries to fight back everything around him is under the control of his opponent.  Furniture flies around on puppet strings.  Getting too close puts him in range of the freaking claws this kid apparently has!?  Trying to get away just leaves him caught in strings and the more he struggles the more entangled he becomes!  The new Robin is skittering and gliding around in a decidedly inhuman way. 
Jason honestly thinks he's going to die when he finds himself bound with Tim standing over him.  He passes out when Tim rips the Lazarus entity away from him and destroys it. 
Tim gains the ability to heal from defeating the Lazarus entity.
Jason is surprised and confused when he wakes up bundled in a handmade quilt with his head in Tim’s lap and a cool compress on his forehead, feeling sore but more well and whole than he has since before he died.
Jason later decides that his memories of the fight at Titans Tower must be some kind of weird fever dream caused by his body purging the last of the Lazarus Water from his system. It goes along with Tim's account of things.
According to Tim, Jason entered the tower, initiated a lock-down, and then collapsed on the floor. Then, Tim moved him closer to a wall where he was less likely to get stepped on than in the middle of the walkway and did his best to take care of him there because Jason was simply too large and heavy for him to carry all the way to the med bay by himself.
This is far more believable and less of a mind screw than what Jason remembers. Obviously this tiny, baby-faced kiddo who played nursemaid for a stranger who broke into the tower and now looks up at him with wide, starry eyes couldn't actually be the terrifying, predatory creature from the nightmare. It was all just a bad dream.
He's honestly glad he collapsed before he had time to do any harm. The poor kid will never have to know what Jason went there to do. Jason knows, though, and he'll do his damned best to make up for it. He may have flubbed first impressions, but he is going to be the best damn big brother that ever big brothered.
...
Tim might or might not go full on feral cryptid when Bruce is lost in the Timestream. I haven't decided. He will probably pick a fight with the Lazarus Pit much to the confusion and alarm of everyone around.
That’s all I’ve got so far.
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facelessoldgargoyle · 1 year ago
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god ok I’ve been reading aella’s public substack. I have a lot of faith in her expertise bc she’s a polyamorous slut who also worked as a camgirl and an escort. she’s also a spreadsheet nerd, and her surveys about kinks and taboos have gone viral, so she has a lot of data to work with. She’s also saying the most bonkers shit
I loved the idea that there were strategies men could use to make me want to have sex with them. I really wanted to have sex, but often had this stupid gatekeeper thing in my brain that would shut down and prevent me from getting sex. Teaching men to do a magical series of moves that would manage to circumvent my gatekeeper and help get me laid was a wonderful thing, and I advised my male friends to try it.
I view sex as a success for both of us, and thus seduction is a collaborative activity. We both want the same thing: to get around my annoying brain gatekeeper that got installed there by eons of evolution that doesn’t understand birth control and is trying to evaluate if you’re worthy of impregnating me. So please—use seduction techniques on me. Roleplay as an alpha male well enough to trick my vagina into believing that your cum will give me alpha sons.
Like??? Ok, to be fair, she specified at the beginning that this series of posts was for straight men who were into women who bottom, so this isn’t supposed to apply to me. But are straight women really out here living like this????
I guess if you have a horrible monkey on your back that works against your own interest in sex, then it’s useful to view seduction as instrumental, a useful tool. I do agree with/enjoy the idea of seduction as collaborative. But fuck dude, have you considered getting rid of the monkey?
Maybe I’m too hot for this post. Actually getting laid is easy. Seduction is just something fun to do while you’re still hanging out at the bar.
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lilpuffyart · 8 months ago
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Something something Halmanpoole posting for tonight 👍👍👍 (I have so much art of them but none is finished at all)
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karleksmumskladdkaka · 8 months ago
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Close-up of the Night Pool acrylic photo card ⁄(⁄ ⁄ ⁄ω⁄ ⁄ ⁄)⁄♪
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eddieintheocean · 10 months ago
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Today I bring, an assortment
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orangejuice2004 · 6 months ago
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but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 (more information in the tags) (template by @jimothy-hopkins!!!) (feel free to interact w/ ur own ocs! let's be bully moots ^o^)
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dawntread · 7 days ago
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when you come to take my soul, take it, take it far away
#GPOSE.#*dawntread#oc: tiarnán dragonheart#this mostly exists because i wanted to put him naked in a pool of water somewhere pretty#which turned into me marveling at dravania's scenery and getting nostalgic for HW again#but i get really sniffly about this guy but don't talk about him much#he's not a willing exile of ishgard so much as he's a victim of its suppressive social hierarchies and religious dogma#because! half-elezen! :')#who was led into a trap by his fellow dragoons and left to die#and simply by luck the dragon who happened upon him wasn't of nidhogg's brood but a dragon of anyx trine#and he swears an oath to defend them in return for his life#but ... it's not exactly a happy decision. it's not one that he feels every day was for the best.#though this changes with them he didn't do it because he changed his mind about the dragons because one of them saved him#he needed something to hold onto when everything else had fallen out from underneath him. and for a man who was ishgardian born and raised#he didn't know if his chances would be fair better anywhere else#and so he's a very lonely and melancholic guy. there's not really a soul around who could understand#and i think some few (of the dragons) that he's ever brought it up to have - understandably - made his situation into a commentary about#mortals in general#and he won't disagree with them. and. well. he's still one of them isn't he.#idk man. im going all over the place but ouugurugh. flops onto the floor. i care him.
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broareweabouttoviberightnow · 5 months ago
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currently staying with my cousins (who are built like shrimps) and I just picked one up n threw them on the couch and realized while I was standing there cackling "glory I'm microdosing on Darry curtis"
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skysyzygy · 5 months ago
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I know virtually nothing about Sonic the Hedgehog besides BDG’s Unraveled and all the Snapcube Fandubs so seeing all the Sonic 3 promo is well and fun but also here’s what I can only assume Shadow is as a character:
Emo
“The ultimate life form”
Created by Maria’s grandpa to be Sonic’s rival (and this was encouraged by Satan (or whoever that guy was))
Maria is Shadow’s childhood friend and she has been MIA since Shadow was deployed to Earth
Shadow and Rouge are mlm wlw solidarity
Shadow has jet boots but forgets this when it’s plot relevant
He dyes his hair, the red streaks aren’t natural
He’s Sonic’s rival but also Eggman’s enemy
His and Sonic’s relationship is like… two ex’s with mutual friends and one really enjoys annoying the other and the other haaaates him
Truly no idea what he can do that Sonic can’t. Both run fast. Shadow is smarter I think? But the bar is low
I get the sense that Shadow’s goal was to beat Sonic in something and once that was accomplished or failed he decided to aim for loftier goals. Like messing with Eggman. Or befriending Satan
I assume that’s not actually Satan in Shadow’s game but I also have no idea who it is
Shadow does try to get the Chaos emeralds but mostly just the green one and it’s for petty purposes. Not weed, they wouldn’t put that in a kid’s game (I think) but it’s to make Sonic or Eggman mad (I don’t know what the Chaos emeralds do. As far as I know they’re Synthesized Garbage Gems)
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