#motherfucker wanting to say that doing that makes me ‘lazy’ like bro just say you hate new fans and go.

[androgynousblackbox]

Alright, I am watching the reaction stream of another person to see the video of Jamesy and I have thoughts! -Jamesy is REALLY counting on buttering up to Jessie Gender specifically. He named her so many times trying to "apologize" for weaponizing his audience against her when she told him to not erase her work in Nebula just because his whiny entitled ass couldn't accept that he wasn't invited to the platform. Not a single word about actually going to her and talk privately though, just a bunch of "ooh, Jessie Gender is the kindest, best human being ever and I am so sorry to her", like, bitch, WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT HER? Jessie wasn't the worst victim of your actions! Your bullshit with her happened long BEFORE anything of this happened, so why the fuck are you even bringing her up?? My only guess is that Jamesy wants Jessie to speak on his favor and "forgive him", hoping that will bring him new good will from the queer community in youtube. I am fucking crossing my fingers and touching wood that Jessie does not fall for this manipulative bullshit. This guy is literally clout chasing because, again, when it came to the plagiarism, Jessie had NOTHING to do here. Jessie, if you want an easy win, don't say anything about this. Don't even aknowledge it. Pretend like a mosquito just farted in another building. You had nothing to do with this and I am sorry this piece of shit is trying to drag you into it to take advantage of your good nature. -"I only cared about the production side of making videos, that is why I bring Nick in as the main writer." This motherfucker really went and did it. He is literally blaming Nick squarely now, because now he is just not a co-writer. No, now he is the MAIN WRITER. Jamesy here was just trying to making his little films and buy expensive ass equipment while telling everyone he was starving on the streets, he only cared about the production. NICK, THOUGH, HE WAS ALL ABOUT THE WRITING. He was the one who put the words and little Jamesy baby boy here only "produced, directed and edited" (omg, shut the fuck off, man, your editing skills are mid at best) everything. -Way too many sob stories. I don't care, man. I don't fucking care that you got fired or whatever conditions you had. Do you have any fucking clue how many people do really struggle to reach the end of the month and they still never even think of stealing someone else's work? Everyone is struggling and yet, you were the one who made a career for fucking years out of stealing the works of everyone else in this community AND THEN, when call out, tried to paint them as the bad guys.

-A lot, and I do mean, a lot of time to "apologize" to Jessie Gender, but you know who he didn't apologize to? Literally none of the authors he stole from. Not the fan whose edit of Korra he used without credit. Not Alexander Avila. Not that person who was harassed to hell and back by Jamesy and his audience when they showed how he plagiarized on his disney video. Jessie deserved to be name dropped at least thirty times, but those people?? They are fucking nobodies. They don't matter. Why name them at all? It's not like their WORK WAS STOLEN BY YOU OR ANYTHING! And that is another thing! Even if Jamesy is really out there blaming Nick for all the words that they took without credit, then what the fuck is up with all the footage, edits and audiovisual works that weren't for you to take? You said your passion is production. That is part of the production, Jamesy. Is this you admitting you fully just fucking stole them and hoped nobody would notice because you are a lazy piece of garbage?

-"Having to do multiple edits because youtube copyright issues was so hard for me, guys, you don't understand uwu. It was so hard on me to make it less obvious I had plagiarized people!" THAT IS ENTIRELY YOUR OWN FAULT, BRO.

-So, hey, funny thing. I was looking to see if other people were reacting or had reuploaded the video so I could put it here. They haven't yet, there is only two reactions, but while I was doing that I found a video of ANOTHER person talking about Jamesy ripping them off: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsD-wodn288 Apparently Jamesy had stolen a blog post that this person wrote about Lord of The Rings and they weren't known by anyone, they don't even like that article anymore, but still! Go see that video instead of watching Jamesy and support them if you find value on their work.

-Hey, Jamesy. Jamesy. You do know that epilepsy and head injuries or memory issues don't take you threaten, lie and weaponize your audience against people who call out your plagiarism with the evidence in hand, right? That has literally nothing to do actually, because you had to be aware off of the issue for you to lie about it after someone else brought it up. After the first time it happened, you could have hired another beta reader to tell you that ups, your memory/epilepsy/memory issues/ADHD strike again and you don't remember from where you took that quote from, sorry! You had money for that expensive ass camera, you could have. -Like, my guy, there were so many steps involved here. So many steps from writing, production, backlash and your response to the backlash. Even if any part on this was an honest mistake, something I don't fucking believe in because fuck you, you had millions of opportunities to rectified it and change it. And yet you didnd't. And so here we are, without you receiving not even a miserable fucking like. Go to hell. A mistake doesn't get repeated so many times for years. That was all a choice, bitch. Fuck you.

And here is where I stopped because his voice is like nail on my ears.

Don't look at his video, it's truly not worth it. DON'T LEAVE COMMENTS EITHER, YOUTUBE TAKES THAT AS ENGAGEMENT ANYWAY.

[suiana]

OH BOY I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TELL YOU😭 Okay so like the first day this motherfucker shows up he is instant asking me to buy him lunch, and like I've joked about it with my supervisor before so I was like 'haha no, I'm not buying you lunch haha' like all fun in games, lunch time rolls around, I'm waiting for my food and this fucker shows up like 'so what'd you get me?' And then he says that I owe him??? For telling him to do his JOB? but I refuse to buy him lunch then he gets pissed off like bro??? What the hell? Not to mention that he just guilt tripped me into buying him lunch like twice. (Not to mention the fact that he gets paid MORE than me, because he works longer and more days than me. Because I'm still in school, I can only work weekends, while he skips school and works an hour longer than me.)

Anyway, when we started to work together I told him what to do (because he was being fucking TERRIBLE at his job) and he started to sorta make fun of me for it (ex. 'I can't believe that someone smaller and younger than me is bossing me around', and for context I'm 5'1, around 95-100lb, and a year younger than him, so he's jus making fun of me now,) and like at first I was like 'haha... please do your JOB' and he simply REFUSED to do it. As a housekeeper, I have a fairly simple job, just make all the beds you can before you get off because I'm too small and lanky to do the actual job. The time limit is like, 10-15 mins, fairly easy if BOTH of us do it. I take around 7 mins to make one bed, but he takes FOREVER.

Just. Make the beds. That's all.

But he gets whiney and all mad and acts like a kid, 'my legs hurt', 'I don't wanna do that', 'can't you just do it for me?' Like I'm his mom. So on the first I just told him to look at the open rooms and stripe the beds, then come back and help me out.

.

.

.

He didn't come back. After I got done making like, 4 beds, I go to the room he's being lazy in and see him sitting on the couch, on his phone watching funny videos. The next day, he does the same thing. It keeps going on for like, 5 weeks. Each time he does it, our supervisor always gets on him for it. Then this week comes.

We went into different rooms to make the beds because there were only 3 rooms and I did 2, so like he did 2 beds and I did 4...

If he did do that room. Not even half way through, he comes in like 'hey, there's a tip, what do I do?' And I'm confused because I'm sure he already knows what to do with tips, but I just told him to either hide in our cart or put it on our coworkers cart, he says 'oh, I'll go put it on her cart' and I'm like ok, that shouldn't take you long...

It took him until after our break for him to come back. that's a whole 35 mins. Then he keeps doing it. 'I gotta go to the bathroom', 30 mins before our lunch break. Doesn't show up until I'm already 20 mins in my lunch break. Supervisor asks him why he keeps disappearing, he says he isn't, before he then says 'I couldn't find her cart'...

My cart was right in the open, you could see it if you looked past the elevator hallways. Then, right after our break, he disappeared again. The supervisor asked him why again and he says some more bullshit.

Then he leaves because his grandma came to pick him up. Turns out, he never did drop off the tip and our coworker never knew she was supposed to get it. Came in today and my supervisor told me that he lied and that I should just hide the tips from him when we work together (we didn't today, he went to work with someone on the ground floor, where they do custodian work) which confused me because the place we work has a strict policy, if you steal a tip then you can get fired and even go to jail.

At this point I'm wondering if our boss is his grandma or something because he kept bragging that the only reason he has this job is because his friend is the boss's granddaughter... like it was something to be proud of...

Idk, he's just been pissing me off so I've been a little mean to him (nothing too bad, just ignoring him...) so I'm wondering if I'm an asshole😭 -Pretty Anon

no ur feelings are valid, ur coworker sounds like an ass

u should get all ur other coworkers to mass complain him or smth, maybe it'll do something HAHAH

if not, i hope he starts being more responsible because dawg... he gets paid more than u and he's mot doing anything??? 💀💀💀

[incarnateirony]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THIS MAN NOT EVEN KNOWING HOW TO MAKE TEA WTF AFTER ME RANTING ABOUT HIM NOT NEEDING THE $19 GLASS PITCHER AND POUR IT OVER ICE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE OH MY GOD?????????

NOT THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE HUFFY "I'M GOING TO BED AFTER TAKING A TOTALLY NOT ANGRY WALK AT 2AM" WHAT DID YOU EXPECT CONGRATS FOR BREAKING A PITCHER I TOLD YOU NOT TO WASTE MONEY ON *WHILE* IGNORING ME EXPLAINING THIS PROCESS *BEFORE*?

BRO I'D SAY STOP WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD BUT. I DON'T THINK YOU EVER BEEN AHEAD. BRO STOP WHILE YOU'RE BEHIND

EDIT: HE'S BACK AND AFTR TRYING TO SOUND SMART ABOUT TEA AND FUCKING THAT UP NOW HE'S STUCK ON DOING IT HIS WAY HELL OR HIGH WATER

W H Y

MAYBE IF I APPEAL TO HIS LAZINESS AND MASS CONSUMPTION HABITS?

EDIT: NOPE

THERE ARE LIKE FIVE DIFFERENT METHODS HE HAS BEEN GIVEN AT THIS POINT AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER STILL WANTS TO POUR LIKE A GALLON OF BOILING WATER IN A FUCKING GLASS CONTAINER TO STEEP THE TEA IN INSTEAD OF BREWING IT IN THE TEAPOT. HE JUST HEATS WATER IN THE TEAPOT. PLEASE WHAT WHY, THIS ISN'T JUST MENTAL HANDICAP THIS IS JUST FRUSTRATINGLY STUBBORN ABOUT "MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY"

@amaniaclikenoiz @romancelvr @vennsync HELP. ME.

[ghostinacardboardbox-oldblog]

Just saw a post accusing anyone who says that they aren’t able to read comics rn is a “lazy ass fake fan” like what the literal fuck does that even mean. I don’t pirate books for moral reasons and comic books fall under that, bitch, googling “free comics” isn’t gonna do shit for me. I know libraries have them, that doesn’t mean I can go there right now. Some of us have actual things we have to do that keep us from doing whatever we want.

I 100 percent get and agree with the frustration of people who haven’t read comics acting like authorities, but acting like anyone who hasn’t yet read a comic for any reason is a “lazy ass fake fan” who is “bitching on tumblr” is so fucking rude and I’ll be stealing your shoes.

[delusional-mishaps]

I’m going a hiatus but I wanted to ask for something before I doooooo!!! May I ask for some Epic Sans x reader headcanons?

Where the reader and Epic are friends but they unknowingly crush on each other and when Epic finally tries flirting, he learns the reader gets extremely flustered very easily. (Ah yes kabedons….instant melting-)

Thank you in advance! Also it’s been awhile, how have you been?

I NEVER SAW THIS WHAN YOU SENT IT IN IMSO SORRY 😭😭😨

genuinely still dont know much abt epic but hes kinda silly so lets see how this goes!! apologies if he's ooc im too lazy to look up anything about him

also ive been good thank you for asking ^^ livin life in beast mode since i got a cross bodypillow,,

motherfucker is WHIPPED goddamn 👴 always has some degree of a blush on his face when you're around,,,, or when he's talking about you,,, or thinking about you,,,,

you think his lil flushed cheeks are soo cute

because they ARE?? if only u knew they were flushed cuz of you <33

he likes to rant to anyone who'll listen abt how adorable you are. how in love with you he is. how he just wants to kiss your cute little face all over, leave you flushed and dizzy—

cross is FED UP with listening to his simping 😒😡

he's always so giddy around you. boundless energy, like you're some drug that gets his metaphorical heart pumping. really, you ARE like a drug to him. he's ADDICTED to you, the way you make him feel,,

ofc he'd never tell you that... that's too embarrassing!

until he decides to somehow make a stupid pick-up line.

"hey bruh, are you a drug? cuz i feel like im dying when im without you for an extended period of time."

WHY are you blushing at that horrible, stupid line?? he could have made it SO MUCH better, but this is SO him—silly and slightly nonsensical—and while it was kind of dumb, he's using a pick up line on you oh my god

nerd ass weeb anime mf will call you his waifu or husbando or whatever. it always makes you blush when he introduces you as "my awesome (waifu/husbando) whom i love" but you always just. brush it off as a joke. cuz i mean he can't ACTUALLY like you right? haha he's just overly friendly pshh ofc ourse he diesnt actually like you that's crazy—

sorry writing that actually made me cringe i cant believe he would say that 😭 life is so hard when that's my husband's best friend #savemefromepic

for the longest time he doesn't even realise that he's flustering you, but OH BOY, when he DOES become aware,,,, lord help your poor poor SOUL, you won't have a moment of rest

i mean, c'mon, he thinks you look so cute when you're all flustered because of him,,,, so adorable how your eyes widen fractionally, the way your lips press together, how you try to hide your heated face from anyone's view,,, so cute <33

dude double's down in his flirting. no matter how wild what he says is, you always get that cute look on your face that makes him want to kiss you so fucking bad bro

then, one day, after the two of you watched some stupid cliché romance anime where the female protagonist was pinned to the wall by her love interest...

it's like a lightbulb went off in his empty head. that's peak anime romance, so why doesn't he do that to you? he bets you'd get so embarrassed and cute if he did that~

except it kind of backfires. he slams his hands against the wall, effectively caging you between them, but he's a little shorter than you and the force he used rocked him right into your body and it's more like he just body-checked you than anything. it took all of his strength to make sure he didn't accidentally nail you in the nose with his big fat head. still, the close proximity got you all flushed.

he really can't help himself when he leans up and finally, finally kisses you. call it the heat of the moment, but it was the perfect opportunity. pressed up against the wall, so close to each other,,, when you just look so cute, your soft body against his bones feeling just right, like two perfect puzzle pieces coming together...

he could feel when your breath hitched, the way you tensed for but a moment before fervently kissing him back. your face is positively burning, but it makes the kiss all the better, feeling divine against his cooled cheeks, flushed with his own blush.

he pulls back and then...!! leaves. he disappears, falling into his bed and kicking his feet. he's totally squealing, fanboying harder than he ever has before.

you're allowed to kick his ass for just leaving you like that

but he'll text you later that night asking if you wanna be his "official (waifu/husbando)" because he's cringe and can't just ask if you wanna date the normal way.. </3

i keep cringing at him. have fun with your weeb man. i'm judging you for your tastes (/j)

[mossyythoughts]

Wash Day? What’s that?

You’re letting them take care of your washday ritual for today- you’re tired after all… How are they doing?

w/ Itto, Thoma, Hu Tao, Venti + an extra thing they love abt your hair ❗️❗️

Genre: Fluff!!

Reader extras: Textured Hair (Implied Black! Reader, but it’s only mentioned a few times i think? like butterfly locs and braids! Also this is coming from me- a black girl so black people will probably resonate with this the most i’m sorry 😔)

CW: Cursing, Me bullying Venti 😜, Me being thirsty for Thoma but it’s embarrassing alright ☹️… prob has spelling mistakes i’m sorry i’m tired 😍

Itto

bro would be ECSTATIC to help you

would ask which products would go in, how exactly everything works yknow the usual

would probably also look into hairstyles too

would be super gentle because he’s scared he might tug and you’ll wince :(

itto for the win we love you itto you dummy

will consistently help you if you allow him!

he’s the type of person to like try and make jewelry out of his geo vision like bitch… those are WAYYY too heavy 🤨

i also think it’s kinda chaotic because when I think about this happening I think about how my mom used to do my hair in the sink BAHAHAHSHA like your neck is getting cramped and the water is just a bit too cold and jeez, now it’s too hot 🤬🤬 now the towel on my shoulders it wet!! i hate it here.

it’s alr though!! he’ll take forever 😔 but it will be worth it i promise it will go slightly smoothly

has the best head scratches out of EVERYONE in this post because of his long nails ❗️❗️

doesn’t say this outloud but he def has wanted to have like a super cute (platonic or romantic) moment where he puts a flower crown on you 😊

fav thing about your hair?

PFFT- everything??? the way the curls are defined (or not defined 😘😍), the way it looks on you, the hairstyles, the culture, literally everything. if you come in and say you’re having a bad hair day he will try his best to make it better!! he will probably make it worse tho so be wary it’s alright,,,

Thoma

DONE AND DONE.

already somehow knows your hair type, everything you need

probably gets you products that are better if you’re struggling

let him take care of you 🤬🤬🤬

allows you to basically completely relax while he’s detangling

also super gentle with detangling he doesn’t wanna hurt you

kinda like… the exact opposite of itto- bro is gonna have the water on the right temp the towel IS NOT GETTING WET (i swear that was the most annoying part when i was a little kid 🤬🤬) super smooth and the products he got were also really good ty thoma ty…

super gentle if you’re tenderheaded 😍 i love you thoma

also will ABSOLUTELY do your edges if you ask him too

also sir. how the hell do you know how to give me braids. why are you parting my hair, answer me.

PUT DOWN THE RAT TAIL COMB PLEASE-

Thoma pls lemme take a chunk outta that ass ily why havent you come home (BAHAHAH WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS HE CAME HOME NOW I HAVE ALL THE 4* STAR CHARA’S)

fav thing about your hair?

the different styles 😊 he finds it so amazing that textured hair is so like,,, flexible??? he is so amazed by the different hairstyles that are compatible and he thinks they all look stunning on you- like SIR. YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH. He might even suggest some hairstyles he thinks he might look good on you and it’s another time where it’s like 🤨 how you know that?

Hu Tao

despite her… antics i feel like she would absolutely love to take care of you (and your hair!)

i feel like she cares a whole lot abt her own hair CONSIDERING HOW FUCKING LONG IT IS.

she would be surprisingly gentle she understands having her hair tugged - it hurts like a motherfucker 🙄

she researches a lot after the first wash day cycle- she wants everything to go smoothly, with the least amount of work for you and herself (she lazy 😒)

her respect shoots WAYYY up higher then it already was when seeing you do your wash day routine (if it’s long ig)

might do ur edges ig… depends… 😍

will help you if you’re having a bad hair day and it will look good! don’t worry she’s not itto 😍

would ask if you want extensions and its like ????? tf you know about butterfly locs 🤨

fav thing about your hair?

the different procedures 😌 she loves learning about things- especially things that intrigue her which i feel like she really cares a lot about hair! so her learning about the average wash day cycle felt refreshing to her- not only because she is learning more, but also because now she can take care of you!!

Venti

stupid bitch ☹️

don’t ask him to do ANYTHING for you he is a very very lazy soul

ofc he will do this for you though!!! he loves you!!!

this is a being mean to venti blog ❗️❗️

he’s… fine ig… 😒 he doesn’t do anything extraordinary like the others at the top of the post he just does your hair 🤨

would probably sing to you while he does it making you wanna fall asleep (i was already falling asleep with my head halfway in the sink when my mom did my hair but having venti sing to me? 🥱 sleeping like a baby right then and there)

teases you afterwards like “awh are you falling asleep? is it my tunes or the head scratches 😜”

tell him it’s the head scratches don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing his voice is good…

will twist your hair afterwards tho!! if you want 🥱

honestly is very sweet idk what i was on about earlier he sings to you and honestly does sorta well on the first try (not better then thoma and hu tao, but better than itto 😍 wow venti, you got the bronze!!)

likes putting butterfly clips in your hair :)

favorite thing about your hair?

putting flowers in it!! technically this isn’t exactly like… specific for textured hair, but if you have a fro imagine like a lot of flowers in it like the amazing person u are 😏 also he loves making the wind around you softer so that your hair can stay moisturized throughout the day 😍

hey y’all 😍 haven’t seen y’all since last year 😜

… …

okay yeah that was bad i actually don’t even remember if that’s true or not LMAO 😭 i’m probably right i don’t think I posted after my birthday? maybe i did idk

anyways this has been sitting in google docs for awhile AFYER MY TEYVAT CHRISTMAS PARTY GOT DELETED 🥲 so the format might be… wack. that’s because i’m not used to copy and pasting and also it’s late on a school night and i didn’t go to school all of last week because i was sick and had to do a covid test 😍 don’t worry i didn’t get covid it was just maybe the flu?? idk,,, anyways stressing because i didn’t get a chance to do my school work and the semester is almost over and my whole year i had straight A’s and i don’t want that to change last minute :( idk what this ASL assignment is and i’m so confused i’ll ask tomorrow ig,,,

anyways have fun all the texture haired readers!!

- ur local klee main! (HOPEFULLY KAZUHA/YAE/VENTI COMES HOME OR SOMETHING IM SO DESPERATE)

[janaem]

tension

this is a mature scenario

requests are also open, go to my pinned post to learn more :)

(c/f) ;; crush’s friend

(y/f) - your friend

r/n - restaurant name

“___”- you or your crush’s name

[8:00 pm]

you looked out the open window feeling the breeze on your face. you closed your eyes and laughed at the ticklish feeling as you tilted your head back.

your friend, ___, was the one behind the wheel, chatting with your crush's friend, ___. the four of you decided to escape from reality for a while and just aimlessly drive around for a while. what a calming way to spend a summer night, you've longed to go on adventures like this. and the music in the background was absolutely perfect.

"i'm hungry." your crush said slightly slouching in his seat which was next to yours, his legs spread a bit. it was kind of awkward being in the backseat with him, considering the fact that the two of you only exchanged one short conversation.

you and your friend ___, were originally going to hang out together, but since they grew more fond of your crush's friend, they insisted on picking the two of them up.

"let's go somewhere that has a drive thru." you said closing the car window.

"oh, i was told that i can't eat food in this car." you friend replied looking around for places to eat.

"wait, why?" c/f asked, sitting up in their seat.

y/f sighed, keeping their eye out for any nearby places, "this is a new car, just got this two days ago."

c/f nodded, "so...do we just dine in?"

"or we could order pick up and eat outside the car by the lake or something." you imputed googling some restaurants near you.

"yeah, that's a good idea." ___ said turning his head to look right at you. it shouldn't be a surprise, but you felt your body slightly tense up and start to feel warm as you scrolled through the various options on your screen.

a few places caught your eye, and you started listing them.

"oooh i think that r/n is a perfect spot to get pick up!" c/f announced.

y/f nodded, "yeah, ___, what do you think?" they asked looking at the two of you in the back seat through the rearview mirror.

you absently nodded, scrolling through social media, your crush said yes.

"you two have been awfully quiet" c/f pointed out turning their body halfway to look at the two of you in the back seat.

"they're heavy on the sexual tension." y/f added making the frat boy face.

"bro..." your crush sighed in annoyance. you looked over at him, he immediately caught your gaze and you instantly looked away, pretending to scroll on your phone.

"guys, if you like each other just say that. It's so obvious." y/f suggested turning the corner, you were 2 minutes away from your destination, since it was a place pretty close by.

"we have more important things to worry about, like our orders for the food." you shot back looking up from your phone.

"and what we'll be having for dessert, isn't that right, ___?" c/f glanced at ___, them a wink.

"dude, shut up." ___ said dismissively, you felt your body become tense again. you looked over at ___, as he rested his elbow by the window, leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand. you only squeezed your legs tighter, why the fuck did they look so fine being careless? you looked at his legs, you honestly just wanted to sit on his lap and make out with him without a care in the world.

the throbbing down there suddenly caught you off guard, "can you guys stop, seriously. we don't like each other, it was just sudden that y/f decided to pick you two up. let it go." you sighed shifting uncomfortably in your seat, crossing your legs together. ___ saw this and raised their eyebrows. however, you refused to look at him again for the rest of the ride.

"shut your horny ass up, we know that's not true." c/f teased turning back around to face straight ahead. you just wanted to beat the shit out of this motherfucker with no mercy.

"we'll order inside, it's late and the line shouldn't be long at all." y/f sighed, ignoring the previous conversation that just took place.

"but, that doesn't make sense, we'll have to wait even longer for the food now." ____ imputed.

you adjusted yourself in your seat, taking a breath, "not if we call them now."

"we have one more minute until we arrive, it's pointless." y/f replied looking at the gps.

"that's plenty of time, just tell me what you guys want, and if we arrive sooner than expected, we can just park and finish our order." you said dialing in the number.

everyone else agreed, so you called r/n and told them your orders. you arrived just in time once you finished and hung up.

"see told ya." you smirked putting your phone down.

"c/f and i will go in to pick up the orders." y/f said unbuckling their seatbelt along with c/f.

"uhh...can i come?" __ asked sitting up a bit, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"no, you stay here with ___." c/f replied opening the car door and steeping, causing him to huff under his breath.

"they said it'll take 15 minutes. why can't y'all stay here until it's ready?" you argued furrowing your eyebrows.

"i don't know why you're complaining, you get some alone time with your boyfriend." y/f smiled as they exited the car, and before you could say anything else the door slammed shut.

the silence was way to loud in the backseat of the car, you held your phone firmly in your hands, fighting the urge to look at ___, who was on his phone. what were you thinking? he's not even thinking about you right now, so why bother...

you finally decided to break the silence after a while, "you know, you don't have to listen to c/f and y/f... you can just go in if you want to." you immediately regretted saying that, you hoped deep down that he wouldn't leave you.

"nah, i'm fine right here." ___ replied, scrolling through his phone mindlessly.

you nodded and went on your phone as well, texting someone to save the awkwardness.

suddenly, ___ scoots next to you, still looking down at his phone. you furrowed your eyebrows at the move. why was he doing this?

"Uhh..." you leaned towards the window, your heart started to race uncontrollably and the adrenaline in your body started to rise.

___ sighed, getting comfortable, "shut up, i got cold."

you gave him a skeptical look, "it's literally seventy nine degrees out, and you're wearing a hoodie and sweatpants."

"just shut up, okay?" ___ sighed, he was seated at least an inch away from you.

"you're so fucking weird." you muttered.

"i'll show you weird if you don't shut the fuck up and sit still."

this moment was making you heated, your face started to get hot and you ached with anticipation to either say something rude, or bold. maybe say both? you honestly didn't know what to do, and the throbbing down on your core started to intensify and it only made matters worse.

"and how the hell are you gonna do that, ___? right i though so, so move back to your fucking seat or i'll make you."

yeah, you shouldn't have said that.

"fuck." you whispered to yourself, your gaze on ___ softened due to realizing what you've just done.

"oh yeah?" ___ gave you a lazy smirk, slightly tilting his head back to show a bit of his adam's apple.

you didn't say anything after that, that was until you felt ___ knee on yours. that was when your stomach clenched.

"how are you gonna make me move acting like this, huh?" he scooted closer so that both of your shoulders were touching. you still remained silent, watching closely as ___'s hand reached down, gripped your thigh, and moved it on top of his leg. the throbbing intensified, you became even hotter than ever, and your heart raced at an astronomical pace. you don't think you were able to handle it any longer. one more move from him and you were sure to break.

he leaned over, his face inches from yours, "not so tough now, are we?"

fuck it.

you cupped ___'s face with both of your hands and collided your lips onto his. he leaned in so that he was slightly on top of you, causing you to lean back, the seatbelt restricting you to go any further. luckily, while kissing you, ___ reached back and undid the buckle with his one hand.

you were now able to lean back, your head rested on the window, allowing ___ to settle between your legs. your back arched at the feeling of his hand trailing up your thigh, his thumb brushing over your clit. his other hand, trailed up under your sweatshirt, squeezing your waist.

you both parted, ___ looked into your eyes, "is this okay?" he continued to faintly rub his thumb faintly over your sensitive area.

"yeah..." you panted ,leaning in and kissing him again. the feeling of his hands on your bare skin, and his other hand on the very spot you've always wanted him was overwhelming.

___ slid his hand into your pants, using his middle finger to slide up and down to toy with your covered area. your breathing started to get heavier as you bucked your hips to meet his finger.

"does this feel good?" ___ asked placing a kiss on your jaw.

you were melting under his touch, "yeah..." you quivered, suddenly hissing once you felt ___ add a few more fingers and rubbing circles on your clit. his other hand, which was originally on your waist, slowly snaked up to fondle your breast.

"___...oh my--" you let out a gasp feeling him go a bit faster. the wetness started to build up on your core, a shockwave of pleasure erupts within you.

you two went at it again with the kissing, ___ slipped his tongue into your mouth, resulting in the kiss to become sloppier than before. ___ also took the opportunity to pull your underwear down, proceeding the act of rubbing your core. he let out a small hum in ecstasy, feeling how warm you were.

"fuck, you drive me crazy, ___" he groaned in between kisses, "you're so wet, too"

you simply couldn't talk, the feeling in your stomach built up every few seconds. you parted from ___ to let out a whimper, biting your lip and rolling your eyes back. you arched again at the feeling of his hand toying with your breast. unfortunately, he stopped and placed his hand from your breast to your back. ___ then started to place kisses on your jaw and neck, you closed your eyes in pleasure, feeling every inch of him touching you, you didn't want him to stop no matter what.

___ stopped kissing you after a while, and took a good look at you. he couldn't take his eyes off of you beautiful expression. he didn't think he would make you feel this way, and it filled him with pride that he is. he looked from your parted lips, to your heaving chest. just looking at you drove him to the edge, he'll never know how and why you were so breathtaking, especially in this state.

your eyes opened slightly, seeing that ___ was staring at you, a series of moans and whimpers continued to come out of you.

you started to squirm, and he liked that. so he went faster, assuming that you were about to reach your high.

"you like that, huh?" he whispered against your lips as he continued to rub his fingers on your clit. the overwhelming feeling that sent shockwaves through your core began to build up more and more the harder and faster he rubbed.

"oh my god..." you sighed, rolling your eyes back in relief. your back arched feeling the sudden wave of pleasure, which was stronger than the last. it was all so unexplainable, all you knew is that you felt so good.

___ placed a slow kiss on your lips, pulling away once you let out another moan. he chuckled and went faster. and the faster he went, the more frequent your whimpers became. you never really admitted it, but you enjoyed the build up before a good orgasm. and it would seem that___ knew just how to maintain this feeling inside you. it was almost hard to believe that this was his first time touching you.

___ moved his hand from your back, to the window to support himself, leaning into you more. all you could do was pant, feeling your abdominal muscles clench, the feeling of pleasure was even greater, allowing your mouth to fall open.

___'s hand started to flex, "you gonna cum for me?" he said going faster than before, "yeah?" he gripped your waist even tighter, watching your expression intensely. ___ wanted to make sure that you felt everything.

"oh fuck, yes." you moaned, looking up at the ceiling. all you were focused on, were ___'s fingers and the intense release you were having.

"you look so hot cuming for me." ___ said, your foreheads were inches away.

you couldn't respond, the orgasm you just had had taken it's toll on you. your legs shook a bit as you rode out your last high. small sighs and pants escaped your lips, the very same lips that your crush leaned over and placed a kiss on.

you kissed back and your crush pulls your bottoms back up, the feeling of the fabric touching your sensitive area made you squirm a bit.

"i made you cum that hard?" ___ teased, giving you a smirk.

"yeah ..." you said slyly, wrapping your arms around his neck. you tangled your fingers into his hair, taking in how beautiful his eyes were. your infatuation for each other grew just then, and the two of you leaned in and kissed each other again.

suddenly, the car door opened and in entered your two chatty friends. they were so caught up in their conversation that both you and ___ took this time to immediately get situated again.___ slid all the way back to his original spot as you got out your phone and started typing and scrolling.

"damn, it's hot in here..." y/f said starting the car again and turning on the air conditioning.

"Yeah," c/f looked suspiciously at you and ___, "y'all fucked or sum?"

"i'd rather die." you said bluntly, not looking up from your phone. ___ just let out an indifferent grunt.

"well, anyways, to the lake we go! i'm starving." y/f announced reversing out of the parking lot.

[broadstbroskis]

thanksgiving | jeff skinner

a/n: it’s here!!! this is like 4k that i threw together in like a week after i took it as a personal challenge from @blueskrugs after i asked why we don’t write more thanksgiving fics. a huge shoutout to her and @danglesnipecelly, for inspiration and cheering me on for this, as well as literally anyone else who’s cheered me on to finish thing, you’re all the real mvps and i love you all 💚

-----

Jeff shrugs, and from across the table filled with pizza, beer, and a bunch of other things that are most definitely not on his approved list of foods, you stare at him.

“I dunno. I don’t really have plans, I guess? Probably just sit at home, relax a little?” He says. Your jaw drops. He has...he has what now? “You're going to your parent’s right?” You nod slowly, still stuck on the fact that he’s going to sit at home and do nothing on Thanksgiving, the best of all holidays. Not spend the day with some teammates, not make a quick trip to his family, nothing. “That’ll be fun!” Jeff grins, dimples popping. “What are you-”

“You’re doing nothing?” You get out finally, the words coming back to you.

Jeff’s smile falters, but only slightly, and he nods. “Yeah? I mean, there’s no practice, no games. I’ll just…” He trails off for a second and then shrugs. “Rest.”

“You’re not going to go, like, visit your parents? They’re right across the border!”

“It’s a Thursday.” Jeff says patiently and you abruptly remember that his Canadian-ness is the whole point of this conversation.

“Thanksgiving is the best holiday! You can’t sit at home alone on it; I forbid it!” Jeff’s smile grows again as he laughs and you try and fight your own grin as you shove at his shoulders, to no avail. “Come home with me!”

“What?” He laughs again, but this time, it’s more like disbelief.

But the idea is already growing in your mind. “Come home with me! You know my parents love you, they won’t mind at all!”

“I can’t just invite myself to your Thanksgiving!” Jeff protests.

You wave him off. “You’re not, I’m inviting you! Come on, we’d love to have you!” He still looks hesitant, so you add, “Our Thanksgiving is huge anyway; one extra mouth to feed isn’t going to put anyone out, Jeff.”

“Alright.” He caves, and you grin, pulling your phone close to you to text your mom and let her know. “But ask your mom, okay? Like, really ask her, don’t just, like, tell her I’m coming.”

“Too late!” You say cheerfully, showing him the text you’d sent in your family group chat, telling them you were bringing Jeff with you next week. Your mom’s already responded with a string of happy face emojis and your younger sister with a How I Met Your Mother gif about Canadian Thanksgiving. “Be prepared for a lot of Canada jokes!”

“Is that supposed to be different than any other time I see your family?’ Jeff deadpans, but you’re pretty sure he looks like, at least 50% more relaxed, so you count this as a win and ignore him completely, already mentally planning for the best holiday of the year.

-----

The drive back home to your parents takes about an hour longer than you’d like, stuck in the same godawful traffic as everyone else trying to leave Buffalo on Wednesday so that they can get back home in time to go out that night. 

When Jeff finally pulls his car up in front of your childhood home, you can already see that it’s bustling with activity, getting ready for tomorrow. Most of your siblings have already arrived- only your older brother, with his wife and daughters will come in tomorrow, with the rest of your family- but your younger brother and sister have already come home, a fact that’s even more evident when you and Jeff walk in the front door and immediately trip over three pairs of sneakers.

“Liam!” You cry, grabbing onto Jeff so you don’t fall. “Motherfucker, move your shoes!”

Your brother pops his head out of the living room, AirPods in his ears. “I’m on a call!” And just as you're marveling at the fact that your brother is a real person with a real job taking real work calls, said real person with a real job spots Jeff and lights up. “Jeff! Bro! What’s up, man?”

“I thought you were on a call.” You snap at him.

“I’m on mute.” Liam slaps his palm against Jeff’s pulling him in for a ridiculous handshake-bro hug combo, before he finally comes over and lifts you off the floor. “Yo!”

“Yo!” You repeat, honestly unable to believe you’re related to this kid. If the two of you didn’t look exactly alike, you’d probably think he was adopted. “You still coming out tonight?”

“Hell yeah, this is my last call. I’m ready to go.”

You snicker, looking down at his sweatpants and dress shirt combo- he must have taken a video call at some point today. “Yeah, okay, bud.”

He ruffles your hair, in that annoying way he’s been able to do ever since he grew taller than you. “Don’t you worry, I will be.”

You laugh, ducking under his arm, to let him get back to it. You’ve got no doubts about that. Liam’s always ready to party. “Finish your call so we can start pregaming.”

He grins, like you knew he would. “Now we’re talking.” And then he ducks back into your dad’s office.

Jeff is laughing when you look back at him and you give him a look. “What?”

“Nothing, just forgot how the two of you were when you got going.”

“Yup, and you’re stuck with us for next two days!” You grin.

Jeff rolls his eyes at you, but he’s still smiling when he follows you to the kitchen, in search of your mom. She’s at the counter, rolling dough for biscuits, her only other contribution to the annual Thanksgiving dinner that she hosts, besides the turkey; a holiday that she’d taken over hosting once it had become too much for your grandmother to handle, but only on the caveat that everyone began contributing food toward the meal. It’s been a potluck style holiday ever since.

She’s ultra-focused, the volume on her favorite playlist high (this wild mix of 80’s pop and today’s hits that’s actually kind of a banger), so you sneak up behind her and wrap your arms around her. “Hi!”

“Jesus!” Your mom jumps, elbowing you in the process, but you’re laughing too hard to care. “Don’t do that!”

“Just excited to see you!” You beam at her, squeezing her once more, before pulling away. “Where do you want the pie?” Jeff lifts the pie you’d made yesterday, showing your mom.

Your mom purses her lips, studying the kitchen around her. “Leave it on the counter for now; I’ll have your dad clear some space in the garage.” She gestures with her elbow. “Hi Jeff!” 

“Hi!” Jeff pulls out his best smile, a real one, dimples super popped. “Thank you for having me-”

Your mom cuts him off before he can finish, like you knew she would. “Oh, we’re so happy you could make it! You’re welcome anytime, Jeff!” She assures him.

“Is the guest room ready?” You ask. “We’ll throw our stuff upstairs before Dad sees it at the bottom of the steps and has a fit.”

Your mom fights back a laugh at that- a statement that everyone in your family knows all too well-but then looks almost apologetic as she finishes, “It is, but we gave it to Katie.”

“Oh, Katie’s here too?” Your sister’s roommate at college was, at this point, basically another sister to you. She hardly went home for breaks within the semesters, usually came up for at least a month during the summer, and more often than not came home with Abby when she was back for anything. The “guest room” really was more like Katie’s room at this point. 

“Where else would she be?” Abby appears, right on cue, with Katie right behind her, practically matching in leggings and oversized sorority shirts. “It’s Thanksgiving; she’s ready to rage tonight.”

You actually can’t wait for the babies to be hungover tomorrow-both were 21 for their first Thanksgiving Eve and you know they’re going to be in a super rough spot tomorrow-but you keep that thought to yourself. 

“It didn’t even occur to me!” Your mom says apologetically. “I just gave Katie her usual room.”

“No, it’s cool. Jeff and I can share. He doesn’t mind, right?” But you barely even wait for his shrug and nod in agreement. It’s not like you haven’t before, when you’re either too lazy or too drunk to go home. You’re both adults, it’s no big. “I’ve shared a bed with you before; I’ll spare Katie the bruised shins.” You tease your sister.

Katie cracks up as Abby sputters out how rude you are. “It’s a hazard!” Katie agrees, dodging the swat your sister sends towards her. It sets the two of them off, which you take as your cue to grab Jeff’s hand and drag him (and your stuff) up to your room.

Of course, usually when you’re sharing a bed with Jeff, it’s a king sized bed, or at least a queen- definitely not the double that your parents just shoved in your old room to replace the queen bed that had been in there until you moved out and took your furniture with you. You hadn’t realized how small it was though, not until today, until the idea of actually having to share it with someone, with Jeff, who might not be a giant, but isn’t tiny.  “Sorry.” You apologize, almost unsure of what you’re saying.

Jeff shrugs. “Well, at least you don’t kick.” He smiles, as then it’s like everything’s back to normal, that awkward feeling that was growing over you gone as quickly as it came. 

“She’s a bruiser, don’t let her tell you otherwise.” You throw your bag down, rifling through it for the sweater you were planning to wear tomorrow, to hang it up so it isn’t too wrinkled.

Jeff laughs. “I’ll take your word for it.” He’s holding up his shirt, a button down and a tie. “Where can I hang this?”

“You can’t wear that!”

He frowns, likely at the vehemence you’d just spoken that with. “Uhh, why not?”

“You’ll get roasted.” Seriously, you’d told him it wasn’t a dressy affair. God, what part of not dressy does he think requires a tie? “Don’t you have, like, a sweater?”

“I mean, yeah, but-”

“Sweater and jeans, that’s fine.”

Jeff gives you a look. “That doesn’t seem-”

“Sweater. And jeans.” You repeat. He’ll thank you tomorrow, when your uncle doesn’t ask him when tea is. When your cousin doesn’t talk to him only in a fake British accent for the entire night. 

Jeff hands over a sweater, a soft thing you’ve seen him wear on many occasions, and you smile your thanks at him, hanging it up next to yours. “Meet your standards?” He asks; you think he’s aiming for teasing but he kind of misses the mark, sounding a little more nervous than joking.

“Perfect.” He smiles back at you and you laugh. “Come on, you dork. Let’s go see what’s for dinner tonight.”

-----

“Don’t wake me up when you come in tonight!” Your dad calls, as he drops the five of you off at Mel’s, the bar for Thanksgiving Eve. Your friends are already at the bar, you’re anticipating a high school reunion for sure, and you’ve warned Jeff of this, even though he assured you that he could handle it, and he was just excited for a nice, chill night.

You’d actually laughed out loud at that. Oh Jeffrey. 

“Pshh.” Liam waves your dad off. “I haven’t done that since I was like 16 and still having to sneak out.”

Your dad gives him a look. “I was talking to your sister.” He looks over at Abby, who ignores him completely, in favor of taking a SnapChat with Katie, and he sighs resolutely. You all absolutely know she isn’t listening to a word he says. “Have fun, be safe. Uber home.”

Liam salutes him. “Will do.”

Inside the bar, the night starts exactly as you and Liam have started your last few Thanksgiving Eve’s-with a round of shots at the bar as you’re ordering drinks, before splitting off to find your respective friends to start the evening.

Jeff fits in with your friends fantastically, laughing and joking around with them like he’s known them forever, even though you’re sure the only one he’s met is your oldest friend, Ashley. But he greets Ashley and her husband, Brian, like old friends, and quickly joins conversations with all your other friends, and soon hours have passed before your brother is sliding up behind you. “Heads up.” Liam mutters as he passes. “Douche at 3 o’clock.”

You tense as it takes everything in you not to turn and look over. “Hey.” Jeff nudges you, concern clear in his eyes as he looks at you, and you’re not sure what he pulled himself away from, but you must look pretty bad. “You okay?”

You nod, kinda spacily, but leaning in closer to him, and he takes the cue to curl in toward you- you’re not really interested in shouting to the entire bar and you’re really not interested in drawing attention to yourself. “Yeah, just- my ex is over there.”

Jeff purses his lips for a minute and then schools his face back to neutral. “I take it things didn’t end well.”

“No.” You say, thinking of the demise of your relationship with Dylan. “It did not.”

You hadn’t even realized that Jeff grabbed your hand until he’s squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You shake your head. “It was...definitely for the best.” It might have taken you a while to see that, but you can now, even if the rare instances you still see Dylan sometimes rattles you. “I thought I was going to marry him, at one point, but I’m so much happier here now.”

Jeff smiles. “Good.”

You squeeze his hand once more, a thanks for his comfort and care, before both of you rejoin the conversation, and you forget about Dylan entirely for the next hour, until you physically run into him coming back from the bar with another round of drinks for you and Jeff.

“Hey!” Dylan beams at you, goes right in for a cheek kiss, like you’re still that familiar, and once again you stiffen up.

“Hi.” You return politely, ready to sidestep around him and return to Jeff and your friends.

“No, wait.” Dylan steps with you, blocking your path. “I haven’t seen you in forever. Let’s catch up a minute, what’s new?”

“No offense, Dylan, but I’m not really looking to catch up with you.” You say flatly.

He opens his mouth to respond, but before he can another voice cuts in. “Everything okay here?” Jeff asks politely, stepping very purposefully next to you, and Dylan’s eyes immediately fly over to him.

“Mhmm,” You nod. “Was just on my way back to you.”

“Good.” Jeff says, in a tone far more harsh than you usually hear him take. “Let’s get back.” He positions himself again, clearing a space for you to easily slip past Dylan, and then steps closely behind you, catching up quickly.

“Thanks.” You lean against him, gently, not looking to spill either of your drinks, but Jeff solves that problem by taking his.

“Any time.” Jeff says softly and you don’t have much else to say on the matter so you just nudge him once more in thanks and walk back toward your friends with him at your side.

-----

When you wake up the next morning, you’re warm and comfortable and only a little hungover, which you count as a huge success. There’s not too much noise going on downstairs yet, which means you definitely have some more time to sleep, so you curl back into your pillow, humming contently when it pulls you in closer.

And then your eyes pop open abruptly, because pillows don’t do that.

Except they do when they look like Jeff Skinner, who looks just as soft and warm and comfortable as you feel right now, still sleeping judging by the evenness of his breath. 

It’s just...it’s a really nice way to wake up, with Jeff’s kind-of smiling face, looking super soft and cozy as he breathes just on the wrong side of too loud, but not so loudly that it drives you nuts. 

It’s a little too early to unpack that, and your hangover might not be that bad but it’s definitely bad enough that you’re not ready to think on that, so you close your eyes and let yourself curl into Jeff and fall back asleep.

-----

When you do finally get out of bed, Thanksgiving morning is its usual chaos, running around with last minute errands, cleaning, and helping your mom in the kitchen. The last to shower for the day, by the time you arrive downstairs, the Lions vs. Bears game is well underway, your notoriously early grandparents have already arrived, and your grandmother is already asking your mom where that one turkey decoration she bought her one year is.

You bypass the kitchen entirely and move toward the living room, where you find your dad, grandfather, Jeff, and siblings all gathered, just as you’d expected. You slide down on the floor next to Jeff, knowing that it’s only a matter of time before more of your family arrives and you’re offering your set up anyway, and wait for the next round of chaos to begin.

It doesn’t take long. Your aunts, uncles, and cousins start pouring in and then it’s just introduction after introduction, as you wrap up showing off Jeff to one group just as the next arrives. You are absolutely confident he has no idea who anyone is, but it’s fine, because he’s still laughing and joking around with all your uncles and cousins that have joined you in watching football. 

The kitchen is its own brand of chaos, when you make a quick stop in on your back from a beer run, but chaos has never stopped your aunt before and it certainly isn’t today. “Oh my god!” She exclaims, after you’ve pressed a smacking kiss to the top of your grandmom’s head. “That boy!”

“What boy?” You ask, like an idiot, which is immediately clear from the looks you get from everyone in the kitchen, even your usually oblivious uncle, who’s doing...something...with the ham they’d brought. “Who, Jeff?”

“Yes.” Another aunt stresses. “He’s cute!”

You shrug. “Yeah, I mean-”

But your grandmom cuts you off this time. “And so friendly! Just the nicest boy! Oh, you couldn’t have found anyone better!” She exclaims.

“Well, I haven’t.” You announce, watching all of their faces fall. “So sorry to burst that bubble.”

“Why?” One of your older cousins frowns. “Girl. Get on that. You are not going to do better than that boy in there.”

“I truly don’t know if that was meant to be a dig at me or you all think that highly of Jeff already, but regardless. We are just friends.” Now everyone in the kitchen is giving you a look. You gather the beers and retreat, distributing them as you return to your spot on the floor near Jeff.

He’s giving you a look as you pass him his, but whatever’s on your face must not be too bad, because he just thanks you as you pass him the bottle, and you nod in return as you try to find the same comfortable spot as before, leaning against his thigh.

-----

Your dad catches you a bit later, as he’s coming back with beers this time and you’re coming out of the bathroom, and he nudges you carefully as you take a few bottles from his hand. “So Jeff?”

You groan. The tone of that statement was far too loaded. “Jesus, you too?”

Your dad laughs. “Who else?”

“Everyone.”

“Well maybe that should be your hint.” Your dad says teasingly, but also not? There’s definitely some seriousness to this. “That Jeff’s pretty perfect for you.”

You stare at him. “You’ve met Jeff, like, a hundred times. Why’s this coming out now?”

“I always thought you were my smart kid and that you’d figure it out yourself.” He muses. “Now I realize you’re only book-smart and you’d never figure this out on your own.” And then he leaves you there in the hallway, with your jaw dropped and too many thoughts, as he continues on, laughing at you.

-----

When the call to come serve yourselves echoes into the room, the usual mad scramble follows immediately. It’s only as you’re getting into line behind your brother that you realize that Jeff’s not with you anymore, and you abandon the long line waiting for food, in favor of seeking out Jeff.

You find Jeff upstairs, in your room, just kind of lounging on your bed, and you lean against the doorway. “Hey! Food’s ready.”

“Yeah.” Jeff nods, the smile he sends you back in return far too tight and forced to be genuine. “Be right down.”

But he doesn’t move, so you step in and climb into your bed next to him. “What’s wrong?”

Jeff laughs; it’s kind of hollow and doesn’t sound anything like his usual loud laugh or his giggles that you love. “What- nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Jeff.” You say softly. “Come on.”

He sighs. “Why did you bring me here?”

That...was not at all what you expected. “What?”

“Why did you bring me here?” He repeats. “Why did you bring me home, to your family? I thought, maybe, finally…” He trails off for a minute. “Except, there’s like ten other randos here too!” He laughs again, that hollow thing that you’re already hating. “Everybody in this family just brings people home, and that’s awesome, okay? Please don’t ever change that about yourself. I just-I thought we had something special, is all.” He says, sounding almost sad? Melancholy? 

“You are special.” You hate this. Jeff should never be sad; he should always be happy and smiling and joking. This is worse than seeing him after losses, worse than seeing him at low points in the season, that one game when he realizes that shit’s done and they’re just playing to keep playing now, that playoffs won’t be coming this year, again. “Jeff, you’re-”

“I’m in love with you.” Jeff says and it’s so straight-up, matter-of-fact, like it’s never not been a fact for him. “And I’m sorry I’ve fucked things up here for tonight and made this so awkward. I just- being here with you and your family just made me want you that much more.”

There’s so so so much you want to say to Jeff, but it’s like time is frozen. You can’t speak, can’t move, can’t do anything except look at him in awe, until he starts to move off your bed, when you reach for him, finally, resting your hand on his thigh, relieved when he looks back at you. “My dad thinks I’m an idiot.” You blurt out and Jeff just gives you a look. “I’m sorry; that wasn’t what I wanted to say.” You take a deep breath, trying to gather the jumble of thoughts in your head. “Or at least, not the only thing. He thinks I’m an idiot because he thinks you’re perfect for me and I didn’t see it. My whole family thinks you’re perfect- cute and friendly and nice- and god, Jeff, you are! You’re all those things!” He’s still watching you, with like, barely the smallest hint of a smile on his face. “I just-didn’t realize you were perfect for me until we came here.”

Now he’s full on beaming, dimples showing, and you don’t even realize that you’re returning the grin until his hand comes up to your face, thumbing at the corner of your lip. “I’m sorry I’m a dumbass.” You finish lamely, too busy smiling at Jeff. “Please kiss me so we can make sure we get biscuits.”

Jeff hums. “I don’t know if I can kiss you now and just...stop.”

“Well I’m not going down to eat until you do.” You say stubbornly. “And you’ve been hyping up those biscuits since breakfast.”

“Fair enough.” Jeff laughs and then you’re smiling into the best first kiss you’ve ever had, tangling your hands into his hair and wondering if you may actually end up missing the meal this year.

[jimlingss]

Sugar and Coffee [22.5]

Back to Chapter 22

Words: 2729 || The Ultimate Mini-Chapter of the series

“You’re working in a grocery store now?” Taehyung asks with raised brows, surprise taking hold. He never imagined his friend being a produce boy, yet it seems fitting somehow. “Isn’t working in the bakery section more suitable?”   Jimin shrugs. “I didn’t get to pick, but the job is pretty relaxed, so I’m not that worried. My manager is really nice and I’ll probably quit when I find a real position after graduating.”   “Nice, dude.” They fist pump. “Now you can buy me my deli meats all the time.”   “You’ll have to reimburse me, Tae.” The boy with his full cheeks has his eyes crinkled.   The two boys have known each other since their elementary days — where Taehyung kept stealing Jimin’s books and pencils until one day the timid latter had enough and tackled the former on the playground. They stuck together after that, finding that their personalities balanced. It would only be later until they met Yoongi in math class, Hoseok in Jimin’s extracurricular, and Jungkook during an outside volunteering event in High School.    It was how the four of them came to be, how they naturally formed a friendship over the course of time and still remain close after so many years. So Taehyung has no hesitation when his phone starts blowing up with notifications and immediately verbalizes his woes—   “Oh shit.”   “What?” Jimin abandons the game he’s playing. He’s never been good at them like the rest were.    “Yuna found me on instagram,” Taehyung grimaces. “She just added me and liked all my pics since three years ago.”   Jimin bursts out laughing much to his best friend’s dismay. “She’s the girl Y/N and Jungkook was showing around, right?”   “Yeah, that sixteen year old.”   The shorter man’s brows furrow. “Isn’t she eighteen?”   “Same thing.” Taehyung sighs despite the fact that he’s only twenty himself and Jimin muses that he often acts twelve. But he doesn’t utter his thoughts and Taehyung tosses his device onto the couch. “She kind of scares me.”   “Why?” Jimin gives a toothy grin. “She’s tiny.”   “Haven’t you heard what Yoongi said? The shorter ones are always the ones closer to hell.” It’s a fair point. “The smallest peppers are always the spiciest, am I right?”   “Fuck off, it’s about girth not length.” He ignores how Taehyung’s brows wiggle. “Didn’t she ask you out before she left?”   “Yep.”   “What did you even do? She wasn’t like that to me or Hoseok.”   “Exactly. I have no clue.” Taehyung would make a joke about he’s just naturally irresistible but this is no time to joke around. Yuna is undeniably intimidating and a serious threat to his existence. “I heard from Y/N that she’s thinking of coming here, so thank god we’re all graduating in a few months.”   “Yeah, well you might need another semester with the grades you have.”   “Bro.” Taehyung sits up straight. “You want to fight?”   He shrugs. “I’m just saying you can’t get away with a thirty percent in nutrition.”   “Fuck. Don’t remind me. I need to catch up on my readings.”   “Same here.”   Yet no one moves. They don’t even flinch.    The two should crack open their textbooks and start reading — but Taehyung’s arm only stretches to grab a controller and join the game Jimin’s in.   The night continues on as the two relish in their youth and ability to be irresponsible without repercussions. Or at least too many repercussions.

The air of the small coffee shop is tense. It is as if the four walls are closing in, but still, she’s glad that it’s a public setting. She can’t bear if it was just her and him. At least in public, there are voices to fill in the background silence and the threat of public embarrassment keeps her from crying, from having an outburst.   It’s difficult to face someone she used to care so much about. To this day, she still doesn’t know what she felt can be called love. But the fact that she has to contemplate it, she’s inclined to think that it’s not. But that doesn’t mean their short and sweet relationship was any less meaningful. He was her best friend for so long after all.   Aeri swallows hard, sipping her drink. She tries not to get the paper cup to shake so much in her clammy hands and ends up putting it back on the table when she realizes she can’t taste it well.   After another beat, she lifts her eyes to look at his and realizes that he’s been staring at her.   Aeri breaks the silence. “Why’d you call me here, Hoseok?”   “I thought it would be nice to talk.”   “About what?”   “Us.”   Closure. He came here for closure, but she’s not sure what kind of closure he wants or how he wants to shut this bittersweet chapter of their lives.   “What about u-us?” She hates that her voice breaks, but oddly enough, it isn’t as painful as it was a few weeks ago. A few weeks ago, she would’ve never been able to face him like this, wouldn’t be able to even look at him without crying. It seems like as time goes by, it becomes easier.   “I’m sorry.”   He says in a weakened tone that hurts her as well.   “Don’t apologize, Hoseok.”   “No, but I want to. I’ve been thinking about it a lot — and what we had….it was good.”   “It was.” Aeri smiles. “Wasn’t it?”   He nods, eased at her openness, that she’s not defensive or angry like he thought she would be. Like she has the right to be. “I don’t think I tried hard enough to make it work.”   “I didn’t either, so don’t blame yourself alone,” Aeri says, a tiny smile tugs on her lips. She accepts his apology. “I had my part to play in it too.”   “I didn’t want to hurt you.”   “I didn’t either. But it’s okay, Hoseok. We just weren’t right for each other.”   He nods. It goes silent. He musters a tender smile. “Truce?”   “Truce.” The girl giggles when they shake hands across the small table. “You still owe me ten dollars when I lent you gas money.”   “Oh, you’re really going to bring that up now?”   “Of course,” Aeri laughs. “Fair is fair.”   It’s hard to be acquainted with someone who used to be so much closer. Someone who has so many memories — good ones and hurtful ones. And often times the end can never be the same as the beginning.   For the rest of their lives, Aeri knows that she’ll always keep Hoseok at a distance, at an arm’s reach, for the sake of her own heart and self-preservation. But she considered herself one of the lucky ones — that they have a mutual understanding, that they can still see each other, and can still have some semblance of a platonic friendship.   She’s lucky when she knows that the two of them will never revert to being complete strangers.

Min Yoongi is a man of many things.   He is quiet, but deadly. He is grumpy and lethargic, but will go out of his way to make someone’s life miserable and has the biggest smile when he sees suffering. He had the most joy when Taehyung stubbed his toe against the doorframe, when Jimin was last place during Smash.   Most of all, he’s an enigma. Lazy, yet the hardest working. Mean and snarky, yet always willing to lend an ear and shoulder. Indifferent and aloof, yet the one who never fails to react first in a crisis.   But of all things...you never expected him to be clingy.   “So this is what you do all day?” Yoongi gestures to the clutter on the kitchen counter, the wires and gum paste rolled out, styrofoam and toothpicks, small brushes and petal dust shades. “You practice making flowers and then go home to suck Jungkook’s dick?”   “Excuse me.” You scoff. “I practice making cakes too.”   “You’re fun.”   “If you don’t like it, then leave me alone,” you mutter out of the corner of your mouth, concentrating back on the rose you’re working on. “Why are you hanging out with me anyway?”   “Because it’s you or Taehyung right now and I’d rather spend time with you than Taehyung.”   “What’s wrong with Taehyung?”   “He’s Taehyung.”   A light scoff falls out of your mouth. You know the motherfucker has a soft spot for him, but he can say whatever he wants. He’ll deny it even if you confronted him. “Want to make flowers?” you offer.   “Nope.”   Min Yoongi would rather fiddle with kitchen materials and spin around on the stool than brush up on sugar flowers, piping flowers or fondant flowers. But you don’t have the time or energy to argue.   You do, however, show off once you’re finished. “What do you think?”   He hums as he looks at your finished product. “Not half bad, I guess. I’ve seen worse.”   It’s not the greatest compliment in the world but you’ll take it especially since it’s coming from him. You’ve noticed in the time you’ve known Yoongi that he has a difficult time praising others. He always tries to work around it, skirting through the subject, never verbalizing his feelings despite being such a straightforward person.   It never fails to be entertaining to watch.   You grin. “If my relationship with Jungkook ever goes to shit, we’d still be friends, wouldn’t we, Yoongi?”   “Sure,” he mumbles while resting his elbow on the counter, cheek in his palm lazily. “But your relationship with Kook won’t ever go to shit. Kid’s too whipped for you.”   Your smile only widens. “He is, isn’t he?”   “You are too,” he says when you attempt to exclude yourself. “It’s gross to watch, but whatever.”   “You need someone in your life too, Min. Maybe you’d be less bitter all the time.” It’s not that he’s bitter, but you like to tease that he is since you know it grinds his gears. “I have a cousin of a cousin who’s around our age. Want to meet her?”   His expression wrinkles like he just bit into a lemon. Yoongi sits upright. “First of all, fuck you. I’m not bitter — I’m just me, bitch. Secondly, I don’t want to meet anyone, much less your cousin. And last of all, you’re becoming worse than Taehyung.”   “Maybe this is an invitation for you to leave then.” You grin cheekily at Yoongi and it doesn’t amuse him. It’s unfortunate he doesn’t have a soft spot for you like Jungkook does. “And don’t call me a bitch. Only Jungkook’s allowed to do that in bed.”   “I didn’t need to know that.” Yoongi’s face crumples more and he waves at you. “Just stop talking and continue what you’re doing.”   Min Yoongi is an enigma and someone you relate to the most. Often times you feel him on a spiritual level. And in spite of what he might think internally, he’s a great friend.    He’s logical, reasonable, the clarity that the whole group usually needs before they think doing dumb shit, like jumping off the roof of the dining center into a pile of snow beneath, is a good idea. He’s hilarious in a sarcastic, snarky way and cares the most when no one’s looking.   He reminds you of an older brother who will always watch your back — and he makes you glad that both you and Jungkook have him in your life.

Jungkook had a dream.   It was odd — only because it felt so real and how it still sticks into his mind hours later. Usually dreams fade away like memories of childhoods where he can’t distinguish people, actions, his own thoughts but generally what had occurred and the feeling he had obtained.   But Jungkook remembers this dream well.    It was a dream where he wobbled to the kitchen in this small house with wooden floorboards and hideous wallpaper, his home, and found you by the window above the sink. Only, you were old with gray hair and wrinkles around your face, an apron tied around your body that was shorter and more sluggish. And his own hands were wrinkled like crumpled paper, round glasses perched on his nose, his movements slowed down as he staggered.   You had turned around and complained about the damn neighbour kids ruining your garden with their littering and he had to calm you down for fear of you getting a heart attack. It was so entirely mundane, and he had never been more confused when he awoke.   “Jungkook!” His mother shouts over the phone. “Are you still here?” Her voice sounds farther away. “Honey, the phone’s broken again! I can’t hear him!”   The boy snaps back to attention. “No, I’m here! Mom? Hello?”   But neither of his parents hear him. Instead, there’s rustling and the sound of his father’s voice. “Give me that. Hello?”   “Hello?” Jungkook sighs.   “Hello?! Goddammit, I just fixed this old thing yesterday!”   “No, I’m right here!” He has to strain his voice, shouting loud enough that could warrant complaints from the people next door. “I can hear you!”   “Honey, is that you?” His mom calls out again and there’s more rustling. “Where’s the speakerphone? Oh, here. Hello?”   For the tenth time, Jungkook exclaims— “Hello!”   “Finally. I thought the phone was broken again.” Both his parents start discussing the phone issues and Jungkook nurses his headache before the conversation gets back on track again. “Have you been eating well?”   “I’ve been fine, mom.”   “Good! Your grandma’s visiting and she’s been so worried about you. It’s not good to do all that exercise and not eat well! You’ll burn all your fat and just be skin and bones!” There’s the sound of his grandma’s voice at the back that he can’t distinguish well enough to make out what she’s saying. “Anyhow, your aunt and uncle send their regards. We’ll be visiting their home this time for the Holiday season come December. Also Lia and Eunbi wanted to ask if Y/N will be coming home with you.”   “Uh.” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck. “I’m not sure yet.”   “Oh, well, do bring her, dear.”   His dad suddenly says, “Heaven knows, your mom and grandma can’t stop talking about how great she is. If she comes by, I’ll fire up the grill and we can have a barbecue too!”   “Yeah, we’ll see,” he exhales sharply.   Jungkook still hasn’t announced to his family that he’s dating you yet. If you agree to come back with him for Christmas, he’ll probably make it known to them but he can’t even fathom the many more times they’ll call if they knew. God, they would probably call you directly and he would rather spare you from their smothering love.   Suddenly a thought creeps into Jungkook’s mind. “Hey, mom. Can I talk to grandma for a second?”   “Sure! Mom! He’s here.” He can hear the phone getting passed, more buttons accidentally being pressed, and his grandma’s voice sounds closer as if she accidentally turned off the speakerphone.    “Hello? Kookie, is that you?”   They exchange the usual back and forth, asking about each other’s well-being and wishing one another good health. His grandma also tells him to bring you around some time when he comes home and how lovely you are — but he doesn’t need to hear it. Jungkook’s already long learnt that.   “Hey, grandma.” He finally approaches the question he’s been meaning to ask. Slow and hesitant, but he manages. “What was it like to grow old with grandpa?”   He can practically hear the soft smile on her face. “Oh, it was wonderful.” There’s a pause as if the aged woman is looking for a word to exactly describe her experience. Though she finally seems to be able to find it. “It was a privilege.”   A privilege.   That’s the perfect word. It encapsulates his dream entirely.    It was sad to be aged, to see you tired, to feel weighed down himself and slower than what he’s used to. But when he looked at you, he didn’t just see an old woman — he saw the snarky girl he knew of in high school, the attractive girl he daydreamed about for so long, the one he’s with now. And the one who will join him for so many more memories.   Even if it was just a dream, Jungkook’s excited to make it a reality.

[heyyouknowbts]

✨ get to know me tag ✨

Thanks for tagging me @duck-tan 💞💞💞

when is your birthday? May 11

what is your favourite colour? purple

what is your lucky number?  666

do you have any pets? 3 cats named Loki, Pudding, and Mochi

how tall are you? 5′5.5″ (yes, that half matters gdi)

how many pairs of shoes do you own? more than 10 less than 20, too lazy for an exact #

favourite song? how can people have a favorite song? i don’t understand but we’ll say my favorite song today is Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac bc it’s stuck in my head

favourite movie? Ghost World (also my favorite graphic novel but NOBODY ASKED YOU THAT PANDA jeez)

what would be your ideal partner? hey, you know BTS? maybe somebody from BTS

do you want children? NO.

have you ever gotten in trouble with the law? only a speeding ticket once, bored cop in Oklahoma. Oklahoma sucks, I SAID IT AND I’M NOT TAKING IT BACK

what colour socks are you wearing? they’re some Harry Potter socks that are blue with some cartoon Sirius dudes

bath or shower? bath in theory, shower in reality

favourite type of music? probably progressive rock but i’m very open to all types of music

how many pillows do you sleep with? 2, one for the head and one between the knees

which position do you sleep in? i roll back and forth on my sides

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping? waking up

what do you have for breakfast? i fast through the mornings bc breakfast makes me ill

have you every tried archery? yea in a friend’s backyard. i’d like to try it for real but now i have arthritis in my hand thanks to an autoimmune disease so it would probably suck

favourite fruit? mango!

favourite swear word? motherfucker

do you have any scars? lots

are you a good liar? i don’t think so but i’ve never been caught in a big lie so, maybe?

what’s your personality type? INTJ

what’s your favourite type of girl? all of them, are you kidding with this question? girls are so soft and beautiful that’s like picking a favorite member of BTS CAN YOU REALLY DO IT BECAUSE YOU’RE SATAN, OR ARE YOU LYING

left or right handed? right

favourite food? ice cream

are you clean or messy? mostly clean, but i have a few designated “chaos” spaces in my home (like my closet, i think Jimmy Carter lives in there)

favourite foreign food? pad thai

how long does it take for you to get ready? 20 minutes no makeup, 30 minutes w/makeup

most used phrase? lmao/lmoa

are you a good singer? actually yea

do you sing to yourself? bro i sing constantly

biggest fear? dying in a fire

do you like long or short hair? on myself? long

are you into gossip? yesss gimme that T i love talking shit as long as it’s not hateful

extrovert or introvert? introverted but not at all shy

favourite school subject? i liked history and art

what makes you nervous? driving

who was your first real crush? a boy in my 4th grade class, quickly replaced by another boy in my 4th grade class lmao

how many piercings do you have? 7, all ears tho

how fast can you run? depends on what’s chasing me

what makes you angry? bro there’s a whole list, but i’ll just name 3. people who believe shit on facebook is news/real, capitalism, misogyny

do you like your own name? actually no. my parents named me after a Boston song bc they were like 20 and dumb, and idk i wish my name was a bit more unique. i don’t need to be named XR-V1 or whatever, just not having 3-5 other people with the same name as me everywhere i’ve worked and gone to school would be nice

what are your weaknesses? anxiety, negativity, stubborn/bratty

what are your strengths? memes, sarcasm

what is the colour of your bedspread? grey i got them bamboo sheets brooooo they’re so nice

colour of your room? white

this was long but fun! tagging the homies (no pressure tho!) @suryanwesha, @e-uph0r1a, @rosegaming117, @snailosaur, @sunshinerainbowsbts, @aestaeticbts, @blueversaillesdreams and anyone who wants to do it, please tag me so i can get to know you 😊

[radramblog]

Ultimate^2

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate has finally unveiled its final DLC character, with reactions ranging fully across the spectrum. Hot takes abound.

I mean, statistically, just about every possible opinion is going to be represented. There were at least 500,000 people watching the reveal stream, and that’s not including those viewing through restreams. That’s insane for a trailer of any kind, let alone for a console-exclusive video game DLC.

Now that it’s been like… a day and a bit, I think most of the spciest takes have probably been made, which is the perfect time for me to chip in with my own milder opinion. More of a butter chicken, really.

(no images in this one i’m lazy tonight)

I figure I’m this late already, might as well drop some notes on the other ones first.

Piranha Plant was kind of the definition of an unexpected pick. Not only was it from an already well-represented franchise, being fucking Mario, it’s also just…not a character. As such it makes an odd choice for a DLC fighter…except for the part where it was free. If you owned the game in its first month. And frankly, I don’t think people would have been happy if it wasn’t. As it is, though, it’s a perfectly fine character- surprisingly cute, actually.

I’m unsurprised about Joker’s inclusion. With how huge Persona 5 became in both Japan and the west, capitalizing on it to make a shitload of money makes perfect sense. The character plays well enough, though the meter gimmick was kind of a daunting sign of things to come. All that in mind, though, the most surprising thing about Joker being in the game is that they still haven’t put P5 on the Switch. Atlus please.

Hero and Banjo/Kazooie were announced on the same night, and I distinctly recall someone saying that this was one for the Japanese audience and one for the Americans. I mean, I’ve never played Dragon Quest, so I guess I fell into the latter? Both series have a long, well-regarded pedigree (Banjo’s lack of recent offerings notwithstanding), so both arguably deserve their respective positions. Hero is the much more notable character gameplaywise, though, with the incredibly complex mana and spellcasting mechanics. Complaints about RNG in Smash aren’t completely unfounded- though it has existed in the past in the form of, say, Luigi’s misfiring side-B- but I know a lot of people think Hero took it too far. If I’m honest, though, the weirdest thing is just having Akira Toriyama-ass 3D models in the game. Banjo’s gameplay is…awkward. The kit is kind of a mess, but at least the gimmicks weren’t going too hard, you know?

Next was Terry, perhaps the most obscure character on the entire list in 2021. I actually really like Terry in this game- while he’s still trying to emulate a similar feel to Ryu/Ken, the difference feels more natural, if that makes sense. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really devoted significant time to them, but Terry’s kit feels easier to work within than the Shotos when going between characters.

Finally for the first Pass, we had Byleth. I think it’s for the best that they announced the second Fighter’s Pass before this released, because if both 4 and Ultimate had ended their run on Fire Emblem DLCs then people would have been pissed. I mean, people were already pissed, but like…moreso. As someone who has played Three Houses, I do think the game is worth celebrating, but having yet another Fire Emblem Protagonist (read: basically a blank slate) in the game over all the substantially more interesting characters 3H has to offer is just really frustrating. Also the final smash looks like dogshit, like FE3H has overall worse animations than Smash for obvious reasons but I’m pretty sure this attack looked better the first time around.

FP2 opened with Min Min, which brings ARMS to the table. ARMS. The only first-party fighting game Nintendo has outside of Smash, so it looks a bit less weird next to everything else but…come on, man. I think this was the most confusing pick of all of them- the game came out in 2017, and having Min Min in Smash would serve as promotion for a sequel…which hasn’t been announced. There was a graphic novel in the works, but it was cancelled earlier this year. Oops? At least the stage was fun.

As much as playing them is awkward and complex, the Minecraft addition was fitting. Only the best-selling game around. I think people weren’t sure if Microsoft would go for it, but they let us have Banjo, so sure. I’m mostly just annoyed that they couldn’t get any of the songs from the actual game in there- like, you got one in from the fucking mobile game, but you couldn’t just get C418 on the phone?

Sephiroth is definitely one of the hype-ier releases from this pass. The character is iconic, as is his theme and his home game. I’ve never played any Final Fantasy game, but I can still respect the name. Once I remember how to spell it. The whole bossfight aspect to his release was also quite cool, while it lasted.

On the other hand, I have no love for Pyra nor Mythra. There’s so much wrong with these ones, frankly. They’re another swordy character, immediately following Sephiroth too, and they go back on Smash’s very deliberate decision to split characters like Zelda/Sheik and Samus/ZSS up (Yes I know Pokemon Trainer does the same thing but I have a lot more leniency for them). Add in their being from a JRPG much less well-known or remembered than the previous couple characters and the designs being…questionable, I have a big issue with the whole thing. This was also around when I kinda stopped playing the game in general, and they definitely didn’t help pull me back in.

Kazuya might have, though. With the exception of him and Sephiroth, all the characters from the Fighter’s Passes were pretty much protagonist-types, but this motherfucker pulses with the essence of bad guy. What I’m saying is that he’s fucking cool, and while he’s ludicrously complex, that makes perfect sense since…I mean just look at the combo lists from Tekken 7. His inclusion also kinda rounds out the list of biggest fighting game franchises out there being rep’d in the game, though I imagine now I’m going to have stans from Mortal Kombat or whatever on my back. They’re not going to put a fatality-capable character in Smash, guys!

Finally, this rounds us around to the original point of this article. Let’s talk about Sora. And by that I mean…I don’t really have a huge amount to say about him. Kingdom Hearts is a franchise that completely passed me by growing up, and I don’t think I have the time or energy to devote to it now. I’m sure it’s good, people seemed really excited for him to be in the game so they have to have gotten that love from somewhere, but I don’t share that feeling.

That’s not to say that I don’t think he deserves a slot. The idea of “deserving a slot” in Smash Bros is kind of an odd concept, even though it’s come up a lot so far this post. But a slot in this roster isn’t just a place in a popular fighting game, because at this point, Smash is kind of a museum of (mostly Nintendo) games- and so having representation is a forever acknowledgment that the franchise is, or has been, an icon to so many. Kingdom Hearts, to my knowledge, has 100% earned that position, and so Sora getting to be playable here makes perfect sense. He wasn’t my pick (Touhou representation never I guess), but I’m happy for those who wanted him.

As far as the actual gameplay looks, he reads like a character that kept in mind what people didn’t like about Hero when he released. It’s another sword-based character, which I think at this point speaks more about the demographic of video game characters than it does about Smash. But I appreciate that the Magic Bullshit is toned down, and that it’s also his only real gimmick (The 3-hit combo feature is A Thing, but other characters e.g. Bayonetta have already done that, so whatever). His recovery potential looks patently absurd- like he just gets Pikachu/Pichu’s Up-B as a Side-B that can also be chained with his actual Up-B? This guy better be light as hell or he’s going to be super hard to take out. I dunno, I think he looks solidly fun enough- more dynamic and aerial than the other swordfighters, at least- and that’s good enough for me.

And I guess that marks the end of Smash Ultimate. Not with a bang, but with a key…dude. It’s been a very solid run, the game managing to keep itself fresh across several years of development, even as other games have risen and fallen. Smash is kind of forever at this point, I think, though the finality of Ultimate’s ultimate character implies that this particular iteration may be coming to its end. And seeing as it is always one Smash per console, I wouldn’t be shocked if the Switch itself was nearing its endgame as well.

Okay but also it’s pretty funny how they heavily censored everything Disney out of Sora’s DLC except for that little Mickey charm on the trailer, like how much must that one shot have cost them, was it even remotely worth it, I don’t know but I kinda want to

[this-is-my-main-i-follow-from]

I already wrote this post, but I’m coming backk up to the top to put a cut bc it’s p long.

my brother is singing falsettos out loud & I’ve already had a stressful day bc I’ve done nothing (lack of structure & lack of productivity gives me really bad anxiety) & he’s either singing out of key & out of time, or it just sounds really bad without the music. He’s the only one who can hear the music bc HeadPhones. & also the falsettos is probably really bad for my mom bc she’s mad that dad left her, esp bc the house is a mess & stressing her out & she needs to go grocery shopping & he used to do that “but now he doesn’t because he stopped loving [her]”, so my bro singing fucking falsettos is really bad. I can’t cook supper bc I don’t have a recipe & the stuff is still frozen & idk what kind of dough I should make & besides the kitchen is a mess & he won’t fucking clean it. I mean it’s also partially my fault bc I’m a lazy adhd mofo, but it’s his job today & my job to cook. I need to get into the kitchen & cook before mom & my OTHER brother get home from shopping but I can’t bc he’s just drawing & singing & the singing is so annoying- I was trying to listen to a thing but I couldn’t fricking hear it bc adhd auditory processing disorders, it didn’t have fucking subtitles or anything & it was not great audio quality & I couldn’t differentiate between the words he was singing, & I couldn’t hear the quiet parts when they overlapped with his singing. I wasn’t going to write all of this I was just going to say that his singing makes me want to cut myself, but apparently there’s a lot more to it. also I don’t want to end up cooking while mom is home bc I don’t have any drawings on my arm & mom is fucking nosy & wants to see my scars so I have to work extra hard at hiding them but even with ppl who arent nosy, like my little bro I don’t like them out, but the longer my older bro sits there fucking yelling out of key, the longer I’m delayed & I won’t be able to cook. By this point, I won’t even be able to cook the meal I was planning on, I have so much shit to do I’ve missed so much & I’m so behind, but I’m so incapable of doing anything like i can’t do chores bc I use the excuse I have homework but I never fucking do my homework so I’m also behind in school & even with the stuff I like like dnd & writing & violin I can’t do, & I skipped online kung fu & I’ve been slacking off under so many excuses but I’m just being lazy & anxious & I also gained so much weight & it makes my body feel so bad & i know this isn’t my body’s happy weight & being fat makes my boobs bigger & I’m fucking trans & I hate them I even tried cutting them off myself & ended up waiting 15 hours to go to the hospital so that I wouldn’t make mom suspicious (& they put me through triage really fast bc apparently I did a lot of dammage- I was planning on giving myself stitches, but my icepack melted & I couldn’t numb my body anymore so they’re lucky I even went to the hospital, it was bad bc I had to walk 20 minutes either way weighted down with a fucking toolbox & I waited outside in the cold bc my phone died & thus:) mom found out anyways so I lied to her about going to buy drugs bc obv /that’s/ a better idea than telling her I went to the hospital & SHUT UP UNNAMED OLDER BROTHER ok he’s between songs now. If I told mom I went to the hospital she would ask why & be like “y didn’t u tell me” & “r u cutting urself again” & like yeah bitch I have been for a while ik the social worker said I should tell you a codeword, but I don’t do that bc u blame yourself or cry or want to talk about & I yes I fucking cut myself what of it? Yeah I tried fucking removing my own left breast, bc u arent’ supportive of medical transitioning, at least not when they’re ur kids. Ur mad at dad bc he got a tattoo bc it’s  body modification & thus uncatholic, but u’ll support ur catholic university friends gettin gtheir eldest daughter a reduction bc her boobs are big & painful- bitch what’s so different about me? I went so far as to try giving myself a reduction, you say you’re concerned about me mutilating my body & making bad decisions, but, you know what? because of this I have legitimately mutilated my body, & made a dangerous & bad decision. isn’t autosurgery proof that I need top surgery bc it’s a danger to my life if I don’t get it? The government is able to pay for it I think & bc it’s a danger to my health (& i get pain & I can’t work out & I get back pain & my skin pulls & hurts & if I jump my tissues yank my skin & it hurts & it puts so much strain on my back, & binding gives me pain, so I need a reduction as much as your catholic university friends’ daughter does) I should be abe to qualify. Even if I don’t qualify yet & have to wait two years, at least that would be the start of two years now instead of in a long time, I mean, mum, you say you want me to talk about it & you’re afraid I’m rushing into it? guess what? They are too! the healthcare system will make me do a bunch of shit to qualify, & tbh, I think that they are better qualified to talk to me about surgery & what I really want than you.  Fucking finally, I hope my brother is done his play & finally shuts up. TA MA DE FUCK NO HE’S STARTING AGAIN CROWS DAMN IT CROWS CROWS CROWS & MAGGOTS I”m not even gonna be able to make anythiung for supper & i have no ideas besides the long one which I don’t have time for anymore. fine. whatever. I’ll go SH in my room. I won’t even work on fanfic bc I’m too fucking adhd & broken. I fucking hate it when ppl say “we;re all a bit adhd” like no bitch shut the fuck up, we all struggle with the things adhd ppl struggle with sometimes, but adhd is a neurological condition that makes those struggles so commonplace & intense that it affects our everyday lives. & no. adhd does not mean we’re more creative. Even if we do have more likeliihood of coming up with funky ideas, most of us struggle to articulate them or understand them, or we forget them as soon as they come. you’re not adhd bc you’re a little more creative, youre just an ableist asshole & fuck you. adhd isn’t creativity its’ a fucking disability. I’m directing this at those fucking parents who have the lovely nd daughter who gave me a hug, but you two are motherfuckers. Yeah I get thaat adhd, once you learn how to mannage it, can be useful, & I understand that part of the reason this disability is so hard is bc society isn’t designed for it (like a lefty using right hand scissors), but ot’s still fuxking REAL & if you can’t deal with it yet, it 100% is a disanbility. OK? Ok. I had smth I was going to say earlier, but I got distracted by smth else that made me mad, so I never got around to it. Youo know what I love? I fucking love how tumblr has next to no character limit so I can just type as much as I want. You know what I don’t like? I’ll probably get deactivated by some SJW maggot-eaten crow-fucker who thinks that my rant& mentioning my failed ed & my self harm (oh fuck shut up, my brother is chanting “dumb”) so anyways some fucking sjw fuck-hole will report this post & my blog & I’ll be deactivated for simply getting angry on tumblr. It’s fucking tumblr! You used to be able to say whatever you needed to say! But now, esp us ppl w EDs, have no safe place to talk about our issues (at least, not w/o fear of gettin gterminated for “encouraging” EDs, when we’re just trying to help ourselves). Anywasy, sorry for all the swears & go se, I swear when I’m mad. I’m gonna go do smth, idk what. Can’t be anything productive, Can’t even be unproductive stuff I like, like watching youtubem, or smth cathartic like playing fiddle. I might just go & bleed a bit & ignore everything for a while. I nkow that the world will still be stressful when I get back, & I’ll still have to cook, & I’ll still be behind in school, & mom will still be broken-hearted over dad, but I’m feeling calmer just thinking about it so that’s what I’ll do. 

[snickiebear]

Snickie!!! Some commentary pls from "Sakura spent her thirty-second birthday in a hospital bed because God Eater or not, if one gets stabbed in the heart with a poisonous blade, one may just die." up until “Dear kami,” Sakura whispered, eyeing the tempura in Sasuke’s other hand. “I think we broke them. Sai, my love, bring me that tempura Sasuke brought me, I’m starving.” from stars in our eyes as we dream of the heavens, pls and thank u!!!

mittens!!!!! oh yes! the Revealment Scene >;))

Sakura spent her thirty-second birthday in a hospital bed because God Eater or not, if one gets stabbed in the heart with a poisonous blade, one may just die.

(She didn’t, obviously, because she’s the Woman Who Ate God. She survived worse than a twisted sword to her heart and some really deadly poison.)

(Tsunade yelled at her for an entire hour about idiot apprentices who forget to dodge because they ate a god. Sakura thought it was hilarious.)

okay so i still find Sakura being stabbed to be literally hilarious. like this motherfucker ate a god, lost her leg, is an ANBU captain and sasori is able to get her. like LMAO cmon sakura wtf bro.

also found tsunade yelling at her to be extremely amusing because my hc is that tsunade’s love language is being mean and yelling, and i ADORE IT. 

The boys walked in to Kakashi-sensei’s mask pulled down as he kissed Sakura breathless, hands in her hair.

AHAHAHA YESSS. okay so the realization i wanted for naruto and sasuke (because sai is actually aware of things) had to be right in the face. so, why not have them walk in to kakashi and sakura fucking making out?? 

tbh i think they thought sakura and kakashi were just really good friends and that kakashi was too lazy to keep up this game of “who is sensei’s wife?” 

“Marry me.” He demanded, kissing her between the words as Sakura giggles, fingers tracing his spine.

“We’re already married,” She pointed out and Kakashi kisses her again and again and again-

kakashi and sakura’s love is consuming and ravishing, so their physical love would be too. they’re still violent things, no matter how domesticated they become, war is carved into their bones and though they are tender and loving, their kisses are demanding and possessive in a way that only they could ever understand. 

plus, if you’ve read Ichor Runs Through My Veins then you also know that kakashi proposing was kind of a running joke 

“So, you really aren’t gay.” Sasuke blurted because his face was red and he really did not want to watch Kakashi stick his tongue down Sakura’s throat. It was worse than walking in on Itachi trying to flirt with Iruka-sensei's picture taped to the bathroom mirror.  

LMFAOOOO OKAY THIS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. i love a good ole wrap up, so this is direct connection to the opening scenes when they think kakashi is married to gai, which is fucking funny. 

also, i really do love crack ships, so iruka and itachi.. which was also inspired by Masks. I got a few comments saying they didn’t like the ship but i still find it interesting and they have so much potentiol.

I know i painted this scene is a light hearted manner (because it was supposed to be fun with underlying tensions) but iruka who is nothing but a giver, he is a caring, earnest person. he loves freely and thoroughly. and then itachi, itachi who was manipulated and he’s broken, and he’s traumatized. i just think they’re neat. 

“Wait.” Naruto said, flabbergasted and flailing. “You’re married?!”

“For eleven years.” Sai added blandly, giving the two of them a blank look that screamed arrogance.

“What the fuck?” Naruto whispered, squeezing Sasuke’s hand. The Uchiha just stared and stared and stared.

“Dear kami,” Sakura whispered, eyeing the tempura in Sasuke’s other hand. “I think we broke them. Sai, my love, bring me that tempura Sasuke brought me, I’m starving.”

FAMILY!! i just love the dynamics here, and that Kakashi has his mask down and no one’s commented on it because “what the fuck sakura why’d you marry HIM?” is SO FUNNY TO ME. like the fact that the boys adore sakura (and kakashi too, but they’re shy about it) is so heartwarming to me. i love writing mama bear saku and papa wolf kaka with their little cubs.

under sakura’s hand, sai has become an even more little shit who’s a know it all. who really does, know it all. so i loveeee writing him and sakura together, because sai is sakura’s and he revels in it. 

Sasuke and Naruto holding HANDS. YES. i do enjoy narusasu tbh, i think they make the most sense as of canon content (this is entirely my opinion). i try to write narusasu in most things i write because i think the contrast between them and how they mix and compliment each other. they’re very interesting. 

naruto isn’t stupid, no he isn’t. but he is oblivious and naive and i love touching on that in some of my angster fics, but in this one its painted as a nicer and more light hearted thing. 

lastly, sakura is always hungry and of course she isn’t going to let some good tempura go to waste because her kids are stupid lmfaoooo 

i honestly could do an entire commentary on the whole series, i love it so much. thank you for the ask mittens!!!!!

[emeraldbabygirl]

Because my lil shit punk ass bitch friend is being a meany shit bitch fart goblin bitch ass bitch on a stick and I’ve been a sappy and gross clingy shit ass bitch for the past couple months and it’s the time of day, early in the morning, when I get most lonely and soft and clingy I’m making a tiny very super tiny appreciation post for my mutuals. My love, my friends, the squad, the homies, the mates, my support system. So eat this mf love bitches!

@ithinkilikeit-reactions MY HUBBY whomst tf I love and wish I could meet and talk to about the things we do. You are so sweet to me and I remember all those times you just send me love cause I ask for it cause I’m an attention whore or because you know I’m having a time and I just appreciate you so much

@gods-dont-negotiate hello daDDY lmao um fuck me. I’m kidding but I fucking love and adore your cute ass so fucking much you have such big dick energy and I love when you just randomly message me talking about your day or anything you are interested in or literally anything at all and I always smile whenever I’m having a hard day at work and I see your random message that is just you telling me anything because I love to hear it. You are just a ray of sunshine and we have so many things in common and I love that we understand those things and I’m comfortable telling you things and I just love how cool you are because you are cool and I wish I could hang out with you and just vibe together, maybe do some illegal hand holding 👀

@despair-lightbreaker yoU MOTHERFUCKING SHIT PIECE OF SHIT ASS BITCH ASS SHIT BITCH BITCH. You are a motherfuckin specimen. You never shut the fuck up you’re always so goddamn loud over JR and I fucking love it because bitch that’s you you stupid tall ass bitch ass tall bitch who is in love with JR and Laon and Hojin you sexy slut you, fuck off. I love how you try to dig into my brain sometimes and that one time you scared me by listing off some kinks I had and I almost passed. I love that a lot of our convos are all caps and involve the weirdest shit and calling each over ‘bitch’ and ‘hoe’ I love all the fucking nicknames you randomly come up with for me, I love whenever you review comebacks on your blog, I love how you just go balls to the wall in the tags I love that you are so confused about so many things I do and say like the whole baby bubble and 2Z and just everything, I love that..idk I just love that you’re sometimes more random than me on some things, I love your poetry, I love that you will fall dick over table for JR and it’s the cutest thing ever and it makes me laugh. Sometimes you’re just really cute bro, like fr

@excindrela remember when I used to call you my wife? I know it’s been a long time since we last talked and I’m sorry. I feel like it’s my fault actually and I need to get back with you, we used to talk all the time. I miss you a lot and I just want to hear you talk about anything and everything again. You were one of my first mutuals in here and you’re amazing and whenever I talk to you about any problem I’m having you always make me feel better. You’re like my internet mum and I really love and appreciate all those moments we have together. I miss those fun shenanigans

@thedungeonofsinners you. My god where do I start. When I first saw that what had happened with your account and that you were leaving I did cry. I felt like I lost a best friend, I didn’t know where I would find you, if I’d ever get to talk to you again and I was already in a sad mood and I just could help myself. Then when you told me you were coming back I cried again. I haven’t messaged you yet through your new account but I’m excited and happy to share all kinds of things with you. I love you so much, you go through so much and I wish I could be there with you to comfort you and just hold your hand and hold your tall ass in my arms. You are a beautiful person inside and out, truly, you are so kind but so hard on yourself and it hurts my heart. You deserve so much love and I wish for you to be happy. I love all our conversations and things we’ve talked about, I love that we have so many things in common and that we can just whore out together and it’s a good connection. It feels great to have someone that you can just release your most sinful thoughts with and just laugh and have a good time. I hope to have more of those times with you. I miss you so fucking much and wish you weren’t so far away. I wish we could hang out. The internet is so hard when you are lonely and need human contact and you just want to see your friends and things. God I hope you are taking care of yourself and doing alright. Take it easy out there and if you ever want to message me please do. I might not see it right away and I apologize if I’m not there when you really need someone to talk to. It sucks when you on the other side of the fucking rock and your sleeping schedule is already batshit crazy. I just want to be able to message you whenever you need me. I’m sorry I’m never up to see your messages but I love you and I always see them later.

I didn’t put all my mutuals cause there’s a lot of mutuals that I’m still getting to know and I don’t have a special connection with yet and that makes me sad because they are still my friends, they still matter to me, I still love them but I can’t make a post for them just yet because I don’t have anything really to say yet :( I’m sorry. I just need to talk with some of my friends more often, find out more about them, share more stories with them. I love all my friends and I want to have bonds tighter than my asshole with them. I wish you all well and I hope you are all staying safe and taking care of yourselves and your families during these times. I know it’s really hard. Makes me wanna cry honestly and I have. I just wish I could be there for all of you irl to hug and hang out with and laugh with. Hang in there my loves, we’ll all get through this.

God and I know I’m literally the worst person when it comes to time zones and I know when you really need to talk to someone you need them right then and I do always say please feel free to message me whenever. Sometimes I do procrastinate and not go to bed right away or sometimes I just get on my lunch break but I always try to check my messages and get back to you as soon as I see the message. If you want you can also send me asks or submit me something so I see it in my inbox. And if you are interested I always have twitter, snap and insta that you can message me on if you would like just let me know. Although I’m on tumblr all the time an I still haven’t added some of you on other socials yet. I’m sorry I am so bad and lazy and procrastinating is like the thing I’m so good at. I just don’t like going on Twitter or insta.

Anyway that was longer than expected but thank you all for being my friends. I love and appreciate every one of you and I always wish the best for you cause y’all deserve it! 💕💕💕💕

[coinofstone]

5x12 The Diamond of the Day pt 1

Final two episodes! Big finale! Why am I making myself cry in the middle of the afternoon! Both eps in this post.

I do love that they made Arthur a sore loser

Enter treacherous white woman #2. Srsly it was lazy writing when they did it for Mordred, it's worse now with Gwaine.

I do love the actual Round Table war room discussion but a) why isn't Merlin seated at the round table and b) why does Leon have so much goddamn faith in Camelot's walls? Like??? You literally said the same thing last year and yet Camelot *did* fall when Agravaine brought an army through the tunnels!

Poor Aithusa. Kid's had a rough life.

I do love Arthur responding to Merlin presenting him with all his supplies ready - which he prepared without his magic mind you - with suspicion 😂

But then he calls Merlin a coward and it's sad

Katie has such a great voice. That entire thing in the cave from her taunting to her laughter to the spell, it just just beautifully played.

Whole ass battle to prepare for and Arthur is just walking around moping cuz Merlin isn't there

So, Merlin's father-vision telling him he's magic itself and he just needs to believe in himself to get his magic going again, does this mean he *didn't* need to go to the cave to get it back? Cuz it seems like he needed to recharge in the cave itself, his injuries were healed when he woke up. That seems like magic cave stuff to me.

Also that "always have been and always will be" - I'm taking to mean 'always have been' in the sense that since he's 'magic itself' even before he was born, his magic existed in other, intangible forms, like we are all stardust etc. But now that he is, he will always be, aka he will not die.

Arthur waking up with his wife in his arms and Merlin's name on his lips, jumping out of bed to act on dream-info.

Balinor telling Merlin to trust in what will be.... like bitch that is literally not how this ends.

5x13 The Diamond of the day pt 2

You know that gif of the cat knocking everything off the table? That's literally Merlin shooting lightning at everyone from his perch on the ridge.

I have a lot of snarky things to say about Merlin coming out of the cave in full Dragoon gear and riding a horse instead of teleporting like the other witches but I'ma keep that to myself.

Mordred is a bitch and Aithusa has terrible aim. At least Aithusa's loyalty to Morgana makes sense.

Arthur said oh shit I'm magic - oh wait no it's that old man again

He also straight up "No! Bad dragon!"-ed Aithusa

Y'know, for all I've watched this episode and screamed about Arthur's death, I don't think I've ever focused on the exact moment he gets stabbed before.

Mordred catches him from behind and he meets it, no fault there. But as soon as he realizes his assailant is the knight who turned on him and joined Morgana, what does he do? HE LOWERS HIS FUCKING SWORD

He leaves himself wide fucking open and vulnerable and Mordred seizes the opportunity. I understand wanting the moment of recognition for Arthur, but on what planet is a trained warrior going to drop his sword mid-attack because he recognizes his attacker as a dude who only just recently decided to forsake him? It's soooooo dumb

There was a whole sequence a few episodes back where Mordred and Arthur are sparring, the point of it was to show that Mordred has become a skilled swordsman. So what exactly was the point in having Mordred run Arthur through as soon as Arthur idiotically lets his guard down? This should've been a meticulously choreographed sword fight, with Mordred getting the upper hand and sticking Arthur properly. Not this nonsense. Look at Arthur's FACE! Oh, Mordred... 👉👈 do you maybe wanna be friends again- STAB ... guess not

Uther's been rolling in his grave but he's taking an extra tumble watching Arthur forget all his skills and training in that moment.

I do appreciate Arthur getting Mordred back though. Like that moment of merciless anger followed by the hurt and regret playing on Arthur's face, warring with surety and responsibility. It was good.

I've rewatched the big confession scene about 16 times just now.

I don't quite understand why Merlin took Arthur to the woods to begin with. Instead of bringing him to the med tent in the battlefield or back to Camelot. What was the reason?

Merlin saying it feels strange (to use magic freely in front of Arthur) and him just going 'yeah' completely deadpan makes me laugh every time.

I really feel like Arthur's head should be elevated at a further incline if he's going to be fed.

Gaius refusing to outright expose Merlin as the sorcerer but nonetheless letting Gwen figure it out on her own warms my heart.

My God Arthur is sitting there dying, feeling betrayed about his best friend 'lying' to him, and still he can't stop himself from looking at Merlin's mouth.

Percival summoned MUSCLE POWER

Hey um random but why does Gwaine even know where Merlin and Arthur are headed? Why would Gaius tell him?

Arthur looks at Merlin so lovingly after he's killed Morgana 😭😭

And now he's literally grabbing at the man's hand 😭 "just hold me, please"

That's gotta be the gayest death scene in television history. If you can watch that without thinking Arthur puts his hand on the back of Merlin's head because some part of him wants to bring him down for a kiss, or that "just hold me, please" is in any way shape or form a 'bros' thing, and certainly not at all an intentional mirror/callback to Isolde dying in Tristan's arms, then I'm afraid you are what we professionals refer to as a dumb-as-nails fucknugget, more commonly phrased as 'willfully ignorant'.

"All that you have dreamt of building has come to pass" yeah except for the whole, y'know, magic still being illegal thing.

I've said this before, but, while I'm sure there was a determined intention to have Arthur die in his armor, probably in some kind of attempt to make sure the audience knows he's died a warrior's death, I *really* think it was kinda stupid that Merlin never removed it, despite Arthur being weak, despite the fact that there was something like five days between him getting stabbed and him actually dying, despite that for the duration of that time they were traveling or hiding out. Merlin managed to produce a cloak to put on Arthur, why did he need the full armor on that whole time? Like even if they left the chainmail on, those plates on his shoulder were just getting in the way, and it looked quite uncomfortable.

Also not for nothing but Lancelot got like, every flower in the forest surrounding lush verdant greens in his death boat, Arthur gets a bunch of sticks.

It suddenly occurs to me, watching this now, that the reason Leon/Percival is such a common side pairing in Merthur fics, is because these two motherfuckers are the only original Knights of the Round Table to survive the series. 🤦‍♀️ I dunno how I failed to notice that before now. My stupidity amazes me.

I'm *really* glad they decided to do this scene with Gwen wearing the Pendragon red dress instead of the black mourning dress. Yes she looks fabulous in it but it's more the symbolism than the 'reality' - with Gwen wearing her house's colors it represents a continuation rather than a finality. Camelot will go on, Gwen will undoubtedly end the war on magic and with Morgana dead (and frankly, I think by now she already brought about the death of all the angry incel type rulers in Albion) there stands to reason her reign will begin with a period of peace, possibly longer than Arthur's. We kind of have to assume that the 'time the poets speak of' is, inevitably, Gwen's reign - which only came about through Arthur's death. It's a little bit toooo subtle in my opinion, but at the same time, I understand the need for the focus on Merlin and Arthur - after all, this show was their journey - not leaving much time to focus on Gwen and Camelot in the aftermath of Arthur's death.

I will just say, the first time I watched this that fucking truck scared the ever living shit out of me. I also just immediately, viscerally hated that scene and declared it invalid - but I think it was because the truck made me jump out of my skin. It has since grown on me, particularly once I started reading 'Arthur Returns' fic.

Everything beyond this point is post-series spec and headcanon, so if that's not your jam you can exit safe in the knowledge that as usual, if there's anything worth commenting on in the S5 extras, I will create a separate post!

For those interested, my go-to post-series fic is We Begin Again by katherynefromphilly I fully headcanon this series as the continuation of the series.

I have a lot of thoughts about Gwen and Merlin post-Camlann.

For one, poor fucking Gwen. She's lost her father, her brother, and her husband, all by what, age 30? That's rough. And who knows what happened to her mom, that was pre-series and I don't think it was ever mentioned.

Merlin, dear god poor Merlin. First of all, I just wanna say straight off that my instinctive headcanon about Merlin was that he never returned to Camelot. I couldn't really say why exactly. I just don't think he could stand being there after Arthur's death. But practically speaking, Merlin's still got Aithusa to deal with, that dragon needs some godsdamned house training asap. He's still the last Dragonlord, it's reasonable to assume he'd immediately take that on considering Aithusa is partially responsible for Arthur's death (the sword Mordred killed Arthur with, only succeeded in killing Arthur because it had been forged in Aithusa's fire-breath) so he's either going to attempt to train the bad behaviors out of Aithusa, or...well...

The only thing is, I do not believe Merlin would abandon Gwen, or Gaius. So my hc is inherently flawed. I do think Merlin probably spend a couple months with his mum, and I do think he ultimately settled near lake Avalon waiting for Arthur's return.

But I do wonder, what must their relationship have been like? Gwen, surely, would've sought his guidance in establishing laws governing the use of magic. And surely, peace cannot last indefinitely, so Merlin absolutely would've defended Camelot and protected Gwen. There's just no way he could've completely turned his back on them, but I doubt he could bear living in Camelot. And Gwen is both strong and practical enough to get on without him there 24/7, even though I'm sure she'd miss him.

I also think she would've found love again. Whether with Leon, as many people hc, or someone else not in the series.

ANYWAY.

Thanks to everyone who came on this journey with me. I will post comments on the extras if I have anything worth saying - and I think I'll do a master post linking all these episode posts after I clean them up once I get time to sit at a computer and do so. Until then! 💙💚

(Gif source) (h/t @shut-up-merlin)

[bearsfakedthemoonlanding]

alright y’know what? since I’m obviously not going to get any homework done tonight and already have the thoughts in my head, round two

People I’ve Known Who Made Me Feel So Much Better About My Gender

[CW: BDSM talk, gender fuckery]

no names because I’m not outing anybody like that

1. This Older Boy from Martial Arts Class who tried to groom me when I was fourteen and eventually grew up and wasn’t a total shithead

i used to idolize this kid, okay? he was twenty and i was fourteen and i didn’t know boys could be like that

and by “like that” i mean flamboyant and flirty and bouncy and short and goofy

and even though a lot of stupid, toxic shit went down that should NOT have gone down

he’s the first person i remember having gender envy over

2. The Wrestle Boy from my College Martial Arts Club

this kid had the best hair i’ve ever seen

wore it in a bun and wore these tiny rainbow earrings

was the best ally

short, sturdy motherfucker who got really philosophical when he was drunk and had really pretty eyes and was always dead tired

he was gender fucky in a really lazy “nothing matters, I do what I want” sort of way

also very loyal and protective. and he could down a pint of guiness in like. three seconds. disgusting and fantastic.

a true bro.

3. My Boss from College

quirky little man who owned a small book store and was far nicer to me than i deserved

used to feed me lunch on fridays because he didn’t think i was taking care of myself

kind of became family while i was in undergrad

he’s short, vegan, not really masculine in any way whatsoever, very creative, very nervous, and the kindest person i’ve ever met in my life

seriously never met anyone kinder than him

he’s never hurt a single person and he’s never going to

4. My Best Boy

in an alternate timeline I could have fallen in love with this boy

largest man i’ve ever met. 6′6″ and twice my weight probably, broad shoulders, huge arms, used to pick me up and toss me like a little sack of potatoes

we spent undergrad wrestling and rubbing each other’s faces into the gross dorm room carpet. truly disgusting.

took care of me when i was drunk or sick.

wasn’t afraid to say “i love you” platonically and frequently

my favorite boy

5. My Kink Parnter from Junior/Senior year of undergrad

he was always ready to talk about literally anything (living in the BDSM scene will do that to ya.  no filters. no shame).  he’s also on the spectrum (loudly, proudly, once again, no shame) and had a way of asking questions that just made you really think about things.

first time i met him he asked my pronouns, which nobody had ever asked before, and when i said “she/her” he said, “cool.  have you ever thought about using other ones?”

he was the first person i asked to call me a boy, because we were fucking around a lot, and i was really uncomfortable getting called “bad girl” while he beat my ass.  i mentioned it, he said. “huh... what about bad boy?”

and it just clicked. 

he was also the first person i asked to use they/them pronouns for me, and he just went with it, no questions asked.

he also used to crossdress when he was younger, so we talked a lot about being gender fucky. it was great.

and i got to be as rowdy as i needed to anytime i was around him, really get it all out of my system.

wrestling is very gender affirming for me, what can i say?

6. The Chef I Work For

he’s the same height and build as I am

a little dude who is unmistakably a Dude but with a lot of “traditionally feminine” interests

he likes to cook, he can sew, he has a tiny herb garden, he took dance classes growing up, he used to be a male stripper

when i came out to him he was loudly supportive, and he told me stories about queer people he’s known throughout his life 

he uses my pronouns. he makes other people use my pronouns. he apologizes when he fucks it up.  he lets me talk about transitioning. he lets me talk about my parents.

my best friend in this city is the guy i work for, but y’know what? that’s a dynamic i’m willing to work with. fuck it. 

if you think to recognize any of these people, or think you know me in real life, no you don’t.  go away, please.  this space is not for you.  

if you think you’re one of these people in this list, this is thoroughly embarrassing.  pretend you didn’t see this and never mention it, thanks.