#will I ever act like I know the characters perfectly? no. because I haven’t read the comics.

[ajortga]

affection deprived

pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader

authors note: i do not like this but hopefully you do, please send more requests

word count: 1.5k+

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based off this request!

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where r asks emma to hold jenna's hand to see if she notices and the second emma held jennas hand she immediately knew it wasnt r's hand

-🥝

It was another filming day. You come in at least 4 times a week, rather if it’s to run a scene over, hair and makeup, a chemistry read or checking on costumes. 

As you get on set, you grab a coffee (that always manages to go untouched and goes cold) while playing a thumb war with your best friend, Emma Myers.

“Do they have strawberries today?” You ask while having your tongue slightly stuck out in concentration. “I don’t know where they get them from, but they’re always so perfectly sweet.”

Emma giggles, trapping your thumb as you squeal. “Gotcha! 1..2.. I think they do, I saw watermelons too if I remember correctly. 3… 4..”

You giggle, huffing when she wins the match. “At least those will make my day. Hey, your hands are so soft.” You begin playing with her hands, admiring how squishy they are.

“Thanks, babycakes,” the blonde jokes, holding your hand as you both swing back and forth while walking through set.

If anything, holding hands makes you think of Jenna. You haven’t been cuddly with her at the moment. You think it’s because she’s so caught up in work and how you always seem to hold her hand, that she doesn’t notice when you’re not. It’s like everywhere you go she automatically thinks her hands are intertwined with your warm ones.

“Hey, Emma. I wanted to ask you something,” you say, glancing into the distance as you see your girlfriend unaware of your presence far away, talking to one of the directors.

“What is it? You need me to help you with something?”

You nod, tearing your eyes away from the ones that weren’t looking at you to the ones that were. “You think you could help me out in trying to cast some spell on Jenna to make her realize that I miss her touches?”

“Oh yes.” The blonde says, making a small ‘pshhhh’ sound as she takes out her invisible wand. “Jenna Marie Ortega, I command you to snap out of your acting character and recognize your girlfriend’s needs!” She says, swaying up and down.

Your eyes roll, watching her be silly and take the opportunity to snap a photo. “Uh huh. I don’t know.. Okay. Jenna and I used to do this thing where I’d sneak under the table and cling onto her hand. It’s just been something that we’ve done ever since.”

In your relationship, you were the sucker for the people who knew you inside and out. Jenna was just that person. She’d rub your knuckles gently in a circle with her thumb whenever you grew nervous, always came home from her other film projects with something you’d like. 

Obviously she still does, you’ve just been feeling like you’ve had the lack of affection. “Which makes you grumpy,” Emma would say. You would sulk before filming a scene and Jenna would’ve noticed if hadn’t a distraction popped up. It was almost like you could see the small puzzles in her head would begin to turn then be interrupted. 

“So.. How is me holding your girlfriend’s hand going to do anything?”

“Hopefully it makes her notice how AFFECTION DEPRIVED I AM!” You almost yell. If she really thought Emma’s hand was really yours, you think you’d break up with her. (You would never be the one to break up first.)

-

It was Friday night. Some would say it was the night to party all night long. 

They were true.

Almost every Friday the Wednesday cast would gather at someone’s house, preferably Georgie’s because he had a trampoline and some dope snacks. You didn’t want to admit that when you and Jenna first saw how many good snacks he had, you slammed them into your bag. Jenna brought an extra tote bag smashed under the things in her backpack to push all the snacks in there the next time you went to Georgie’s house.

You stare down at your hand, chatter filling the room as everyone talks while eating. You wonder if it’s any special. You’re not sure why it matters so much to you. It's just like every other hand, right?

No one knows you better than Jenna, maybe you should just be straightforward with her and the lack of affection you’ve been feeling lately. 

“Ems?” You holler, looking around. You find her on the couch across from your girlfriend, in a deep conversation with each other.

And when Jenna turns to you with those sweet brown eyes, you feel like the happy giddy feeling in your chest. The feeling that lingered when you had a silly, puppy loved crush on the girl for the first time. You were a bundle of nerves, squeaking whenever you talked to her, cheeks flushing easily. 

And she was yours. Except that feeling just popped up again. Your eyes dart the room, opening your mouth to say something, then shutting it. Instead, you give an awkward wave and run out.

Jenna gave you a smile, eyebrows furrowing as she watched you dash out.

“I think my baby is scared of me.”

Emma rolls her eyes, looking at you go, “An affection deprived baby.”

-

“Okay Agent Double Two x Five thousand and Sixty Two, it’s time.” You whisper, you and the blonde eyeing the target in front of you.

Like two partners in crime.

“Roger that.”

Emma crawls under the table and you almost break your facade, a silly smile threatening to plaster on your lips as you see her bump her head on accident. You can see Jenna, talking to Hunter as she brings her drink to her lips. 

You look away, looking down at Emma’s current journey.

As she keeps talking, Emma counts the hands to be able to reach the right one. She approaches the brunette, where her hands are against her lap, and lightly taps it. A stupid grin forms on your face when you see your girlfriend’s face contort into confusion.

Jenna processes what’s going on as her hands roam around. She lightly catches the hand and feels it. Assuming it was you, she intertwined her hand with yours.

It doesn’t take 10 seconds before she feels like something is out of place. The hand is soft, but it’s too soft. Yours is just the perfect amount of soft. She rubs her thumb over the person’s knuckles and the pattern isn’t familiar.

She immediately tugs her hand away and looks under the table to see a goofy Emma Myers looking back.

“Emma? What the hell are you doing under there?”

“I was actually looking for my ball that I dropped.” Emma backs herself up, shoving her hand into her pocket and bringing up a neon green ball with a smiley face. “Oh wow! It was here all along! Thanks!” 

The blonde crawls out as the other girl blinks and watches her walk off. Something about realizing it wasn’t you made Jenna feel disappointed. She hasn’t held your hand whenever you nudged it while walking down the streets together. She’d brush it off thinking that you did it by accident. 

The events of the endless hours of filming caught up to her, she had been neglecting you with her lack of affection. All the signs were in front of her, yet she didn’t notice.

She excuses herself and looks around for you, peeking her head into the living room to see you scrolling through your phone.

“Hey, cutie. I missed you.” The brunette says softly, catching your attention as she squeezes next to you. You don’t respond, making grabby arms. She almost feels how twitchy you are as you cling onto her, her fingers thread through your hair, hoping she can make you feel a little better.

Your hands touch something soft and you feel hers nudging into yours. The perfect amount of softness. She didn’t realize how much she missed your touch until you’re curled up to her like a koala.

“I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting your affection needs. I just feel like filming messes with my surroundings. I would never do it on purpose, okay?”

God you missed her. You missed her cuddles. You missed her hugs. You missed-

“Y/N.”

“You swear?”

“I’ll swear on.. I don’t know!”

She wraps her arms around you tightly, lifting you up on her lap as she presses her lips to your cheek. "I want you to tell me whenever you feel this way, okay? I can’t survive knowing that I let you feel a certain way you don’t like and I don’t even notice.”

“Okay. I will, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to think that I’m too affectionate.”

“Never.”

A small grin comes upon your lips, “Now can you teach me how to distinguish people’s hands?”

For the rest of the night, Jenna lets her scent comfort you, your hand laced in hers for almost the rest of the party. When you see Emma, you give her a goofy smile and a thumbs up. She grins and does a two finger salute.

Let’s just say that all the days after, you were woken up with kisses and hugs, and definitely a bit too spoiled on set with a showered affectionate girlfriend. She even tied your shoes. Maybe it was too much, but you didn’t want anything less. Too much made you feel like the happiest girl in the world.

[hyomaslut]

──★ ˙🍆 ̟ !! casual conversation between friends. 18+!

☆⌒(ゝ。∂).ᐟ ᴀsᴋɪɴɢ ʙʟʟᴋ ʙᴏʏs ғᴏʀ ɴᴜᴅᴇs ᴘᴛ. 𝟷

✿ ─ characters: isagi yoichi, itoshi rin, chigiri hyoma, reo mikage ✿ ─ cw: smau!, extremely suggestive/borderline smut, aged-up!characters, college!AU, gn!reader, no pronouns, unestablished relationships/mutual pining, use of foul language, descriptions of genitalia, suggestive themes, you and chigiri are talking about npc college drama, proofread??? ✿ ─ notes: honestly the smau aspect was so hard cuz im a perfectionist and wanted read reciets and everything. all the apps for them suck. i managed :))) and i rlly hope you guys like it :)) feedback appreciated. i put chigiri's at the end cuz its so long. part 2 is here!!!!

ISAGI YOICHI...

your fingers fly across the keyboard to tell him that yes, you were very serious. isagi literally jumps out of bed to go shower and everything. he has been crushing on you since forever and god knows he’s not blowing this chance you’ve given him by sending a shitty picture. you get an image attachment 20 minutes later, yoichi standing in front of his foggy bathroom mirror, the phone in his hand covering half of his face. he’s barely out of the shower, hair dripping wet and towel hanging extremely loose around his hips. his other hand sits at the base of his dick, acting as both a size comparison and a way to draw your attention to it. it’s obviously of decent length as far as you could tell, but the girth. you cant even pretend your mouth doesn’t start watering at the sight.

ITOSHI RIN...

you don’t have time to feel all that bummed about it though, because within a few minutes you’re shocked to get a picture from rin, the camera facing downwards towards his legs. nothing would be all that out of the ordinary if it weren’t the obvious tent in his shorts. the fabric around his crotch looks stretched by his hard dick fighting against the confines of his soccer uniform. it’s not exactly what you asked for, but you can’t find it in you to complain, because it’s way more than you actually expected to get. your mind starts racing. he’s hard from just a few suggestive texts? that means one of two things. either he really is a virgin like you thought he’d be, and the littlest of acts gets him riled up. or he’s just that into you. both of those possibilities sounded like fun. and the idea of those possibilities made you greedy. enough to push your luck.

MIKAGE REO...

two pictures come in quickly and you laugh at the idea of him rushing to take these for you. he sends the first one, taken standing in front of the full length mirror in his boxers, dragging down the waist band of them so you can see the first few inches of his shaft, phone in front of his face. he’s perfectly clean shaven, zooming in closer, maybe he waxes it? you can’t help but be impressed by his attention to detail. it’s so reo that it makes you smile. second one is sitting down in some fancy looking suede armchair, underwear gone, cock in one hand while the other splays over the bottom half of his face, poorly covering the wide self-satisfied smirk. you assumed he set up his phone with a timer considering he wasn’t holding it. as you stare at it, the initial evaluating that everyone does when they receive a dick pic fades away, and you feel heat creep up your face. reo was really hot, and just this once you figured it wouldn’t hurt to tell him you thought so.

CHIGIRI HYOMA...

you get through the stressful minutes waiting for his response by chewing on your nails. maybe you really just fucked it all up. but then, to your surprise, a photo loads in. its hyoma sitting on his bed in front of his mirror, his fingers buried in his hair to push it out of his face in possibly the sexiest way you’ve ever seen. his other hand holds his phone, his pretty face in full view with his gaze locked on the screen. your eyes can’t help but travel down to the only part of your crush you haven’t seen. and boy was it worth the wait. his dick curves up towards his abs and its a lot bigger than you expected. long and a perfectly pink tip. you bite your lip at the thought of it stretching you out, and then feel slightly guilty for thinking of him that way, as if you haven’t done it plenty of times during your so-called dry spell. if the whole soccer thing doesn’t work out, you’re sure he could be a pin up model. or maybe a greek god.

hyoma's got long again ;-; mb,,, but can you blame me??? i want to do a part two with at least nagi and bachira, but idk who else i want to include. open to suggestions ♡

© 2023 hyomaslut. please do not copy, translate, or repost any of my content onto any other sites.

[belovedmusings]

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

Choso Kamo x You x Suguru Geto

Explicit Themes 18+ (🚫Minors DNI🚫)

Part seven of the 'Two + One' story. Click for story masterlist.

Guitarist! Choso Kamo is your boyfriend, and he finally notices that his bandmate, Suguru may feel some type of way about you. Now, it's up to you to decide whether you want to come clean about your own feelings for Suguru, and your subconscious may just decide for you.

Relevant tags: sexual tension, thoughts of infidelity, characters with questionable morals, Suguru is hot, Suguru has piercings and tattoos amen, Choso is sweet and loyal, slow burn, no "y/n" for immersion, 2nd POV, reader has no defining characteristics, explicit smut, missionary, nipple play (fem receiving)

Recommended songs to listen to while reading: Just Pretend (Bad Omens), Is There Someone Else (The Weekend), Undisclosed Desires (Muse)

A/N: I'm starting to think Bad Omens ghostwrote this fic the way that entire album fits this story perfectly. Also, just for clarification, the italic texts are yours, and the bolded texts are Suguru's! The drama is getting real and it will continue to build. Enjoy ;)

Read on Ao3 if you prefer!

Or read below cut:

Things return to a semblance of normalcy. 

Choso continues to work with Curse Manipulator.

Suguru doesn’t text or call you, despite having gotten your number, and you sort of let it be.

You greet Choso when he comes home, and you’re both happy to see each other.

The two of you even have a better sex life than you’ve ever had now that he’s become bolder with you.

But it feels like you’re walking on thin ice. Microcracks are undulating beneath the weight of your steps, the frigid void of water beneath beginning to seep through. There are no indications. You just feel like something is off.

He isn’t acting like anything is wrong…but it’s almost as if things are too quiet.

This purgatory drags on for about a month until one night, when you’re home alone and you get a text from Suguru.

He noticed.

You pause as soon as you read it. He noticed? What does Suguru mean by that?

What?

I’ve been asking about you more, he asked me what was up.

Then I told him the truth.

Your heart full-on drops into the pit of your stomach.

What did you say?

I said I think you’re attractive.

Was that all?

Well, I also said I have no intention of usurping you. That I respect him and your relationship.

But I wanted to tell you because he’s probably going to bring it up.

So be prepared.

The way he’s talking, it sounds like the two of you have to cover something up. It’s like it’s a late-stage affair rather than just the metaphorical dance-around-the-fire the two of you have been engaging in.

Is it still bad? Yes. Is this text conversation proof of that? Yes, again.

Okay…

Thanks for the heads up.

Also,

I’ve been wanting to text you but I wasn’t sure what to say.

Anything is incriminating, right?

Not necessarily…you could ask me how my day was or…I don’t know, bring up a new movie or song or…

Maybe it just feels that way because of how I feel about you.

And how I know you feel about me.

It’s not innocent.

You have to set the phone down for a minute to gather your bearings. What game is he playing? You haven’t heard from him in a month and now he does this?

Your hand picks your phone back up and you type out a reply.

When you talk like that, of course it’s not.

How can I see what your face looks like right now without you being here?

What do you see?

Your eyes are heavy. There’s a weight in them. You’re probably holding my hand again.

I wish I was.

Good god, you can’t catch a break.

Should you really be flirting with me after you told my boyfriend you were attracted to me?

He just thinks it’s one-sided.

He doesn’t know you feel the same.

So now I have to pretend like it is?

You have a choice to make. Tell him you’re attracted to me or just act surprised.

You mean, lie to him either way?

What other option do you have that won’t end in disaster?

He has a point. You can’t say it’s more than attraction, then he’d catch Suguru in a lie also. He’d realize it goes deeper than how he made it seem. So what?

Be half-honest, or lie completely?

Anyways…how was your day?

The abruptness of the text has you laughing aloud in the silence of your living room. 

It was fine. How was yours?

Just worked. We’re getting close to finalizing the album, then the next steps will come.

What are the next steps?

A music video for the title track, press run, and a tour. It’s going to be our biggest album yet.

As you read it, the gravity of it all hits you. 

Choso is part of a successful band. And it’s on the trajectory to get bigger and bigger. All of the proper groundwork has been laid—they’re local stars, and with a music video and the team Suguru has secured to help with promotion, their music will find new fans all over the place. With that comes touring, traveling all over the country and even the world…it’s huge.

Wow.

I can’t believe this is all happening.

It sounds like a lot, doesn’t it?

Well, yeah. You’re going to be proper rock stars.

Haha

You’ll be along for the ride.

Choso’s going to want you there. And I will too.

You’ll see everything we do.

That sounds fun and intimidating.

It does, right?

But it’s exciting. Choso is exactly what we were missing. With him we’re going to make it.

I feel proud.

You should. 

A question pops into your mind.

Was it always your goal to have fame?

Haha, well, I admit I am a bit of a show-off.

I just think everything happened to put me in this position.

That makes sense. I feel special, getting to know you guys before you get big. I’m your first groupie.

Haha, come on, you’re more than that. So much more.

I know. But I really am a fan. Your music is all I play recently.

Yeah? What song is your favorite?

Strange. You wrote it about your life, right?

I did. It’s sort of an autobiography. I’m surprised that’s your favorite, it’s one of the only songs of ours that’s really personal.

Why are you surprised? I remember when you told me about that stuff. Hearing it in a song was beautiful.

You sound so open and honest when you’re singing.

Oh, I see…

Was I not when I told you?

No, I meant I could feel your emotions because of how you sang it.

It’s breathtaking.

When you compliment me like that, it goes straight to my head.

Coming from you, that means the world.

I’ll make more meaningful songs in the future.

You don’t have to just because it’s what I like.

No, I want to.

I have some things I want to say.

You know, you’ve inspired me a lot.

You groan out loud, laying back on the couch and rubbing at your face in frustration. What are you supposed to do with that? This doesn’t sound like ‘no intentions of usurping’. 

Luckily (or unluckily) the lock in your front door turns, indicating the return of your boyfriend. 

You close out of the messaging app and lock your phone, hoping to ignore that text the rest of the night. With that you pretend to have been watching whatever show is on television as he walks in.

Immediately, his smile is tight as he greets you. “Hey.”

Oh god, here we go.

“Hey, baby,” you reply, giving him a smile as he moves to sit beside you after removing his shoes. He gives you a kiss on the cheek, arms winding around your waist. “How was it today?”

“It was okay,” he begins, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before they flit away. “I had an interesting conversation with Suguru.”

You steel yourself. “Interesting how?”

“Well,” he hesitates, pulling away and resituating himself on the cushion beside you, fiddling with his hands for a moment. “Lately, he’s been asking a lot…about you. At first, I didn’t think much of it. But then Larue randomly said today ‘you should bring her by again, Suguru won’t shut up about her.’ I didn’t realize he spoke about you when I wasn’t around. It got me thinking…why would he be talking about you like that? Then he mentioned you again, how you haven’t been around, and then I decided to just ask him what it was about once the other two guys left.”

You take a breath. “Um, okay…and?”

“And he told me he was attracted to you. Like, straight-up. I mean, he reassured me he wasn’t going to do anything about it, but I…I don’t know. I mean, he’s Suguru. He could probably have whoever he wants. If he went after you…”

Moment of truth. Who will you be? 

“Um…” You begin, heart pounding as you find your words, “well, that’s…”

Choso’s eyes flit back to yours, waiting to hear what you have to say.

“Well, I…thought maybe he did…”

“You did?” Choso asks, “You thought he was interested in you? Since when?”

“I don’t know, I just had a feeling.” Okay, so now you are a liar. Guilt starts fortifying deep in your gut. “I-I mean, I didn’t know for sure.”

“Oh,” Choso frowns, “So…I mean…what do you think about it?”

The correct answer is to tell him there’s no chance in hell. But hell is where you currently are, and you’ve entertained Suguru enough already, so what does that do for anyone?

You sigh heavily. “To…to be honest…I mean, he is an attractive guy, but I would never leave you for him, not in a million years, Chos’.”

Choso’s face is unreadable for a second, and you immediately begin regretting what you just said.

“So…” He breathes out, brows furrowing slightly. “What I’m…hearing is that you two are attracted to each other?”

Back pedal, back pedal, back pedal.

“I meant that he’s just a good-looking guy. You know? And he’s nice, but that doesn’t compare to what you and I have. We have history and intimacy, baby, I would never let him disrupt that.”

Haven’t you already, though? Liar.

“But what if it was different? If you met him first, and then me? If you had the history and intimacy with him? Would you still want me the same?”

Can he see right through you? This has potential to blow up in your face. You need to put this fire out now. 

“It’s not that serious,” you shake your head, taking his hands, “I’m in love with you, Chos’, and there are tons of good-looking guys out there, that doesn’t mean that I like them or want to be with them!”

“So you don’t like Suguru like that? It’s just that you think he’s good-looking?”

“Right.” Wrong.

Choso sucks in a deep breath, reaching up and taking his hair out of their ties to rub at his head. “Well…I…I trust you, obviously, it’s just weird.”

“Y-yeah, that’s understandable.” 

You’re lying to the man you love. This who you are now, isn’t it? A bad person. 

“I don’t need to worry, do I?”

“No,” you say in a rush, “baby, I’m yours, okay? I love you so much. You are the best. And nothing will take me away from you.”

He looks at you for a moment before moving closer, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you. “I’m just so afraid you’ll fall out of love with me. You’re my world and it’s unhealthy how much I love you. I’d sooner let you walk all over my heart than leave me.”

Each word twists the dagger he’s lodged in your heart harder and harder. 

All you can say is, “I love you,” like an apology, squeezing him tightly in your arms. 

“I love you,” he replies, tightening his own hold on you, and despite all of the words you exchanged, it doesn’t feel like you’ve reached a resolution at all.

You’ve just dug yourself a deeper hole.

____

“I want to keep going,” Suguru stares up at you, his mouth at the line of your shirt, dangerously near the top of your breast. You’ve seen this before—you two are in your living room all alone. Choso’s at his brother’s house. This is the part where Suguru pulls away and says he won’t go further.

Except, he doesn’t do that. He pulls you onto the couch. You wind up beneath him quickly, and he doesn’t stop. His greedy hands tug your shirt down, exposing you to his eyes, and his pierced lips wrap around a nipple, large palms on your hips, gripping them like you’ll float away if he doesn’t hold you down.

You feel the bead of his tongue piercing on your stiff peak, and can’t stop the gasp of his name.

“Suguru!”

He smiles up at you, that infuriating crooked grin, his hands working expertly to get you naked. His mouth kisses, tastes, and marks any expanse of skin he can touch, and before you know it, you can’t even remember if either of you had been wearing clothes in the first place. All you feel is his hot skin on yours everywhere.

He hovers his face over yours, molten sunset eyes locked with yours.

“I’m gonna kiss you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Don’t care.”

His mouth devours yours as a parched traveler attacks an oasis, and you moan at the taste of his mouth, the warmth of his tongue on yours, and you just let go. Your hands thread into his beautiful black tresses, cupping his face, kissing him with all of the desire in the world. 

Then, he’s inside of you.

It knocks the wind out of you, dislodging the kiss so you can cry out another, “Suguru!”

He groans, and then he’s moving, thrusts coming quick and hard, like an animal mauling its prey, carnal and so so delicious, your hands find his chest, his neck, his abdomen, his arms, his hips—you want to grab onto any and every part of him but nowhere you touch is enough, you want to become one with him. 

He goes harder and you can’t stop saying his name. It’s an incantation, evoking a side of you that you’ve never known, that you’re afraid of, that you vy for.

“Suguru…” it tumbles freely, “Suguru, Suguru!”

He takes you to heights you’ve never been to before, and you feel light as air yet far away like you’re at the bottom of the ocean. He fills your lungs, it’s impossible to breathe when it’s this hot—

Your eyes snap open. A hand is on your shoulder. Eyes are on yours. 

But they don’t belong to Suguru.

You’re in bed with Choso, and your blood suddenly runs cold. 

You were dreaming. 

The resignation in his eyes says it all.

“You…were saying his name in your sleep.”

---

A/N: evil cliffhanger oopsies...hope you enjoyed!! Also, I changed the cover art for the story 'cause it looked a little too cringe. This one is still cringe but tastefully so. Okay, d out!

Please don't copy or repost, but feel free to reblog and share!

Taglist (comment here or my masterlist if you want to be added): @jaegerstan222 , @cosmicstarlatte , @dabisdolly , @moonriseoverkyoto , @propheticfire , @bontensbabygirl , @crlyhairedwxtch , @alittlebirdahgaselx , @okkovtsu , @notbellasstuff , @uchihabbynic , @polaroidnana , @childofilluvatar , @shadowfoxy , @jordan-network , @dreamtravelersade , @unmatchxd , @lucyrocks86 , @spineyy , @k3lbade , @xxbuckpoppi , @naughtygobbo , @slammynics , @roseambers , @luvingyouwasreallyhard , @hinachaaan , @redladyrae-blog , @spiteless-xo , @slutforaz , @bellaabee082 , @thedorklingqueen , @delayedrage , @poopwons , @pandisastergod , @username23345 , @sleazymac-n-cheesy , @forest-haven , @midnaamethyste , @bihanspookies , @mysteriouskiller1 , @liyahthings , @makingtimemine

[supremeb1tch8783]

Something I find really funny as I revisit Black Butler is Sebastian’s character.

It’s been years since the last anime arc release, and an arc that’s animated as a full season rather than a movie. And I haven’t kept up with the manga as much because I will binge read and so I like to let ongoing series rack up chapters and preferably finish whatever arc they’re in so I don’t have to be left on a cliffhanger for a month.

But that’s neither here nor there. Onto Sebastian Michaelis! I’ll be brief!

I find him so absolutely funny because as we see from his cinematic record in the Book of Atlantic, and later as they showed us the specifics of how their contract was formed, he kinda sorta fr hated “Ciel” and found him to be punitive human not worth anything other than a potentially delicious meal lol. He wanted his soul for sure, and he came forth upon Ciels cries because he recognized a high quality meal, but he a) didn’t expect the job to go on for so long, b) didn’t know his new master wanted to do all the investigating rather just letting him run off and kill everyone and return to eat him, and most hilariously c) he didn’t think his new master would expect and demand of him to do a butlers job in a more “human” fashion.

Things like cleaning each room with dusters and brooms, etc. or cooking food step by step rather than just waving a hand and it all being done.

But what I find so funny is that despite him being a demon, and us seeing that very often, him voicing his thoughts on how pathetic and futile a humans life or goals or aspirations to be, he has found some actual pleasure in doing things the human way.

And it’s pointed out so obviously in the pride he takes in being like “ah yes, the linens are all perfectly pressed, dinner is exquisitely prepared, I was able to do XYZ for the Funtom Company, truly I am the best butler to ever butler,” rather than the “best demon to ever act like a butler”

Like he’s lost in his role, the method acting is so strong I wonder if he realizes.

And what’s even funnier is when he’s interrupted. Cuz he’ll be in the zone getting preparations done, having the butler aesthetic going on and then Bard, Meyrin, or Finny will do some off the cuff nonsense and he’s pulled away from what he was doing, like god dammit! I was JUST whisking the meringue to the perfect consistency but now I have to replant our entire greenhouse garden. Etc.

Like he really started out so feral and petty with Ciel when he started, loathing being a butler, finding it annoying, not thinking he was gonna have to do it for over 3 years and now he’s here acting as mother, father, teacher, uncle, aunt, daycare instructor, and on occasion male prostitute to perform his duties as butler to the queens guard dog.

He’s still feral for sure, but there’s a sorta domesticated feeling I get when I look at him being such a loyal demon servant. And he doesn’t hate all humans, he can still find their lives otherwise short and pointless, but he’s respectful in a real meaningful way to people like Tanaka, Agni or even Elizabeth, and despite being a demon the chivalry he’ll show at times is sincere, and once again, he’s been there for so long. It cracks me up sometimes.

Anyways, rant over <3

[cozage]

Hiii, I recently discovered your blog and I am obsessed with your writing style! This is my first ask ever lol so hopefully I do it right. Can I request the reader doing small acts of service (ie. frequently baking sweets for him, gives him hand massages, and etc) for Sanji because our love cook is so attentive to everyone and I just want to pamper him sometimes! He deserves it.

A/N: Hi!! Thank you so much for the ask, I’m honored to be your first one! You did it perfectly :)  I absolutely must plug my other one shot I just wrote, Made for Two, if you want some sweet Sanji fluffiness and haven’t read it yet!!! But here’s a sweet little head canon list for him

Characters: gn reader x Sanji

Cw:  Just sweet sweet fluff

Total word count: 500

Pampering the Prince

First off, it’s HARD to pamper him. Sanji is the kind of guy who refuses any kind of acts of service because he doesn’t want you to inconvenience yourself. 

Hand massages are a must (just like you said), but Sanji only lets you do it when he’s super super tired and when you're both in bed. Very very rarely, he’ll even lay on his stomach and let you massage his shoulders and back, allowing you to work the knots out of his tense muscles. 

You love to put essential oils in the diffuser for your room. Lavender is his favorite, so you always put it in about an hour before you know he’s coming to bed so he can fall asleep easily.

When you know he has an early morning, you’ll get the coffee pot ready the night before so all he has to do is turn the switch on. He doesn’t drink coffee normally, but on the long days he’ll usually have a cup. You’ll get up with him in the morning and drink coffee with him just so you guys have a bit of quiet time to yourselves before he sends you back to bed while he starts the long day. 

Whenever the Sunny is in port, Sanji is pretty focused on stocking up on food for the crew, so you always do the essential shopping for him. Shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste. You always throw in a new shirt or some sunglasses you think he’d like too. He’s really particular about his hair products, but you always get it right. 

Sanji is definitely a quality time kind of guy as well, so the best thing you can do is just sit with him in the kitchen while he cooks. You talk about your life and offer up your hopes and dreams to him, and he listens every day, no matter how long you talk. He loves the sound of your voice, it’s like a melody to him.

You know how particular he is about his kitchen, so you don’t really cook alone in the kitchen, BUT you always ask to cook with him. Sometimes it's helping him cook dinner for everyone, but you both really like the times where you just make a small little dessert and then hide away in the kitchen, sharing it quietly without telling anyone what you’ve made. 

You love to make little drawings for him and leave little notes around the kitchen for him. He’ll open the fridge to find “I love you!” on the milk carton. He’ll pull out a pan and find a sticky note that says “All blue? No, I’m all for you!” Just silly quirky notes that make him smile. He saves every single one that he finds.

[echos-girlfriend]

Hello!! I've almost never made requests so if I'm doing it wrong please let me know.

I'm about to go binge all your Crosshair fics (because I'm a croswhore now apparently, it's fun) but I also wanted to request maybe prompt 2 from the prompt list for Crosshair/reader? I just think it fits his character so well. If this particular prompt doesn't inspire you though, don't worry about it!

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it. 💕💛

Hi my lovely! I’m so sorry you had to wait this long! I’ve been struggling with writing and I’m very sorry it’s taken so long but here it is! And I hope you like! 💚💚💚 also I appreciate you reading my Crosshair fics.. he’s the hardest for me to write for so I put a lot of work into his! 🥺🥰

Crosshair & 2

Master list

Warnings: angst, accusations of cheating, hurt, slightly happy ending..

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Cross.. we need to talk.”

He didn’t say anything and only glanced up from his rifle.. you swore he loved that damn thing more than you.

“I’m serious.. I need to talk to you.”

He huffed and got up. Clearly annoyed, but he nonetheless followed you outside the marauder and away from the other Boys.

You stood there thinking about how you were going to ask him these questions. The moon was the only light around you both. As you gazed at it you felt a drop of water fall down your face.. it was starting to rain.

“What?”

His voice startled you out of your daze. You looked up at him. Your mouth was parted, ready to say words but nothing came out.

“Crosshair.. are you cheating on me?”

He didn’t answer and only sneered at you. Insulted by your question and he turned away. Wondering what would make you feel this way.. and make these accusations.

“Answer me!”

“No.”

You nodded.. trying to think about his response.. it was no. It was what you wanted to hear but..

“Why do you feel this way?”

He looked down at you while he spoke in that gravely voice.

“Because. You’ve been distance.. you haven’t wanted to sleep with me, or eat with me.. nothing. You want nothing to do with me.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Then love me!”

You practically screamed at him. And his eyes widened and he threw the toothpick from his mouth..

“I.. I do love you..”

“Then at least act like you!”

He looked at you with concern this time. His face falling slightly but his eyebrows remained angry.

“What did I do..?”

Your voice was soft and scared. You wanted to know if it was over.. if he was done with you.

He slowly walked to you, his hand slid under your chin and made you look up at him. Your cheeks were stained with salty tears. The rain was now starting to get heavier. Thunder rolling in.

In the softest you had ever heard him speak.. he replied to you.

“You didn’t do anything my sweet.. I..”

He stopped and you could tell he was trying to piece together words.

“I.. fear that.. when I’m at my worst points.. you’ll want someone different. Someone better.. last month.. when We argued.. I was at my lowest.. and I took it out on you.”

You put your hand on his cheek. A lightning streak shined behind his head.. almost perfectly.

“But when I’m at my best.. when we are totally in love.. I.. I know you don’t want anything but me.. and”

He smiled and held your hand to his cheek..

“And that makes me.. so happy Mesh’la..”

You smiled and kissed his nose. Pulling him into a hug.. cradling his head.

“Crosshair.. you’re so silly sometimes..”

-_-_-_-_-

Taglist: @umbramoons @techs-girlfriend @starqueensthings @ilovestarwarsmen725 @dangraccoon @kixs-husband @ughhhhfoff @chrissywakingup

[naneun-no]

Hi! So... Am I the only one who thinks Jikook haven't been living under the same roof for quite a while now? I feel like some people, esp Jikookers, don't even want to see it as a possibility, but if we don't want to start acting like a cult we need to start developing some critical thinking (which I think is healthy and needs to be done) Also, I've seen a lot of people say "JK is having a hard time, imagine not spending every second with your partner like you used to bc of his crazy schedule" and tbh, I was thinking just like that at first, but now? Jimin is busy, yes of course, but he clearly has time to hang out with Hobi or even going to visit Jin (which was so nice to see btw, not complaining) I honestly don't think JK and Jimin are hanging out much, actually, I dont even think they see each other often, since JK seems to be living his best introverted life and quite isolated from the rest of the boys (except Tae, which Im kind of glad, at least he is getting out of the house and having a good time) Maybe we should start considering the possibility of them just not sharing time bc they simply chose to and not bc Jimin is busy with his album. I now what they chose to share with us is just a small part of their lives, and there could be a million other possible scenarios, Im not saying Im right or wrong, just what's been on my mind lately. Im not coming here as an insecure Jikooker to seek for aproval, or with bad intentions, Im just sharing my thoughts and genuinely curious to know if anyone else thinks on a similar way. Thank you for taking the time to read💜

Hey! I appreciate the kind way you phrased all of this. In short, if you’ve ever read anything I’ve posted you know what I’m gonna say next: maybe that’s true and feel free to think that 🤷‍♀️

I still don’t get why the idea that they’ve chosen not to spend any time together (which we have no evidence of except for a lack of evidence the other way) is more compelling than the idea that they do in fact spend plenty of time together and just don’t share it (which we also have no evidence of except for the way they treat each other when we do see them). Both have a dearth of evidence, except one seems out of character.

Does that make sense? Like it’s perfectly possible they don’t hang. But also, they were like magnets on all the final Run BTS episodes. Not just magnets but affectionate, touchy, best-friend-or-more type magnets. But also, Jung Kook asked Jimin to come over during a recent live, while being all giggly and cheesy and excited to see him. It didn’t seem like a “it’s been so long, I’m saying this just out of an awkward sense of duty,” to me — it seemed like something that probably happens often. Jimin said something to the effect of “I’ll come after work” or something close, right? (He said many other things too but that was the only one that correlated directly to hanging out other than the one where he expressed desire to tie back JK’s hair which could be innocuous or could be something he does when they hang out, who knows?). But also, JK told his boxing instructor that JM would come soon, but also JM talked to that same instructor like he knew him well, and likely has gone with JK to lessons in the past. But also, it really hasn’t been that long since JK’s weirdly sexual/teasing birthday video for Jimin and now several members have had birthdays pass and nobody else got that treatment. But also… the list goes on, I’m sure there’s more but my coffee’s getting cold.

So, I can’t speak for all Jikookers because we are in fact not a cult, so there aren’t established patterns of belief that we all must adhere to. You think maybe they’ve stopped hanging out cause they haven’t shared it with you. Cool. Many others, myself included, think it’s unlikely that you would abruptly stop hanging out with someone who clearly means so much to you while still continuing to treat said person in a loving, flirty, domestic manner. They don’t act like exes, not even a little bit, so we have no reason to think they are. I think it seems much more in character for them to be preserving the final shreds of privacy they have to protect the relationship that means more to them than the other ones; or at least means something different.

Idk, but if you actually believed them to be dating at any point, or even just as close of friends as they appear, regardless of dating, think of how that would look if they suddenly stopped speaking.

Remember when Tae and JK did kinda stop hanging out? Remember how it was kind of obvious through their interactions that they weren’t as close, and then they full on addressed it in that conversation and talked about how they needed to put more effort into their friendship (which kudos to them, like you said, seems like they are). If anything, Jimin and JK’s relationship over the years has seemed even more close and symbiotic than almost any other friendship in the group except maybe vmin. So I would think if that was crumbling away, we’d see a lot more in their interactions than giggly, sweet, heart eyes and “eat well my baby” comments.

Feel free to disagree!

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

What are your thoughts on Hawks as a character in BNHA? I know a lot of canon tends to mischaracterize him (Hense Why I can’t read any fics w him despite him being my favorite character next to Izuku), so I was wondering about your take on his canon self, and what choices you’d make in writing him into one of your fics

Gonna be honest, I’m very biased because Hawks is actually my least favorite character. Once he was introduced, he suddenly became super important out of nowhere and took up a lot of screen time away from characters I actually cared about like Izuku and the other students. We’re talking months of chapters with this new random guy as acting protagonist when we already have a perfectly good protagonist getting shunted to the sidelines. Even when we did get Izuku back, it seemed like the guy just wouldn’t go away. If I had to pick a reason I never warmed up to him besides oversaturation, one thing would be that despite him being so involved in the plot, he didn’t have much personal stake in it for a long time. He had this cocky attitude (already a character trait I’m not fond of) and lack of drive compared to other characters that to me came off as apathetic to what was happening. If he doesn’t care about what he’s doing, why should I? I get that he has a secret tragic backstory past that explains why he’s like that, but that came out pretty late in the game and wasn’t enough to switch my negative perceptions.

Now, if I were to write him into a fic, I would lean into the questionable ethics of his acts and lack there of as a double agent. It’s very likely he knew about some of the League’s murders and didn’t do anything about them in order to stay in their good graces. So we have a very interesting set up for the morality of letting a few people die in order to save even more in the future. One thing we never got from canon that I wanted to see is how a character like Izuku, who wants to save everyone, would react to something like that. A top hero, and the heroic ruling body at large, deciding that some lives were expendable for the “greater good.” Not to mention the fact that (and correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t reread the whole series in a while) that Hawks himself doesn’t really grapple with this contradiction other than being personally frustrated. How would he react to be confronted? Would he succumb to guilt, or double down to preserve his self image as a good hero? He did it for the greater good after all. He meant it to be good. That’s what matters, isn’t it?

I actually have a couple fic ideas where this idea gets explored, but the only one I can tell you without spoiling anything is my scrapped plans for Angel’s Egg. Hawks was going to be the final boss of that fic. As Izuku learned to use his wing quirk better than he ever could have imagined, it starts going to his head. Hawks worked as a parallel to that, a cocky hero who didn’t have to think too hard about what he was doing thanks to his overpowered quirk. Unquestioned power and adoration from fans made him complacent. So he didn’t question the morality of using the two hero students he was mentoring as two different kinds of bait for a dangerous organization. it all worked out in the end, so what’s the harm? He was just following commission orders besides, so none of it was his fault. This would have been my only fic that ends with Izuku questioning if he wants to be a hero anymore.

[ninadove]

feligami and chlolila!!!!!

Great choices, Noctie. You know me well.

Chlolila ✅

1. What made you ship it?

Let’s be honest. This is not a ship you get into because it’s cute, or because you hope for a happy ending. And I’m not exactly known for my appreciation of Toxic Yet Fascinating Dynamics ™.

THAT BEING SAID — they are a great plot device. Just like I don’t enjoy whatever Gabeminath had going on, but recognise how it pushed the story forward. So I am likely to write Chlolila in the future (When? Who fucking knows. Certainly not me), as part of a bigger project, purely because the narrative potential is through the roof.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

See above! ☝️

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Despite everything I stated above — I can totally see how they could have been written as an evil, yet healthy duo. More on that here.

Now that this is done. Let’s move on to serious business, shall we.

Feligami ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

1. What made you ship it?

This iconic exchange from the Diamonds’ Dance, which I stumbled upon with exactly zero (0) context a little over a year ago.

Listen. I was so prepared to be annoyed. I, too, was an aro Felix truther. I, like many others, was a Marigami enjoyer before anything else.

ALL OF THAT GOT THROWN OUT THE WINDOW SO FAST WHEN I SAW THESE 20 SECONDS OF INTERACTION.

Everything is there already!!! The instant recognition of someone who has been messed up by life in the same way you were (child abuse, queerness, neurodivergence, you know the drill)! The challenging of each other’s worldview! The softness of her hand in his! Disobedience as an act of devotion!

And upon watching the episode — is there anything more beautiful than this evil genius/desperate kid abandoning the masterplan he dedicated his entire life to, the scheme he threw away all moral considerations for, just to make this pretty and deeply hurt girl he just met happy?

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Every. Single. Aspect.

What can I say that I haven’t said before.

They are incredible representation (AH!!!!! See what I did there?) for basically every marginalised group ever.

They are incredibly soft, even though they were created to be perfectly emotionless (Kagami) or perversely cruel (Felix). Not only is their relationship forbidden, their capacity to love itself is an infraction to the blueprints crafted by their parents.

The ease with which they switch moral alignments for each other, which is majorly overlooked on Kagami’s part. More on that in another post on another day.

Felix willingly following her guidance in Representation is the ultimate proof that he has achieved freedom; devotion is meaningless if it is not freely given.

THEY HOLD HANDS SO MUCH. WHEN THEIR AMOKS ARE FUCKING RINGS. IF THAT ISN’T THE ULTIMATE SHOW OF VULNERABILITY AND TRUST I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS.

And much more. I am slightly drunk right now, so I’m probably forgetting a lot.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Shipping Feligami is controversial in itself, somehow. Let me tell you, many people out there have weird grudges against 14-year-old characters, and absolutely zero reading comprehension. DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS ON BUGGACHAT’S LATEST CHAPTER, Sunny. You would be shocked by how many advocate for violence against our boy.

Other than that, as you said yourself — childfree Feligami for the win. There is no way these queer (!) abuse survivors (!!) who defy any and all societal norms (!!!) would have kids. I rest my case.

Thank you for the ask, Sunny! 🖤☀️

Ask game here.

[fistfuloflightning]

If you ever have the sudden urge totlk about Kushina/Fugaku, please do <3

(Totally unrelated to me reading your fic and finding a new rare pair. Honest. /lh)

Why yes I do love talking about my rarepairs!! *chin on hands* I’m so glad you asked! Also, sorry for the incredibly late reply!! 

Okay. So. Fugashina. I haven’t actually had to put down my thoughts about this ship beyond fic ideas before, so be forewarned that some of this is just brainmush and might not make sense.

I’ve mentioned this a couple other times, but I’ve long held the headcanon that the Uzumaki and the Uchiha are linked, through their sealing abilities (actual seals vs the sharingan which I would argue acts as a seal on the mind) but also as narrative foils. And that trickles down to their members. We already got the Naruto/Sasuke dynamic in canon, along with some teeny bits of Kushina and Obito also as foils (outcasts desperate to prove themselves to the place/people that regard them as Other).

Kushina is a fantastic character, strong and determined and so very underutilized. Admittedly, it is mostly Minato’s story but Kushina just gets swept under the rug. And while I lovelovelove Minato’s character, there’s a power imbalance in the relationship between the two of them that I don’t particularly like, (probably why I ship both Minato and Kushina with people that are not each other lol). They each deserve to have an equal partnership (and if that means writing fanfic, then fine damnit). Kushina doesn’t deserve to be that wife who wields power over her helpless husband; Minato deserves to be more than just a malewife after we got glimpses of what he could be. Kushina just feels like wasted potential (admittedly we only see her in domestic scenes in the anime, and mayyyyybe some fights scenes in the movies I think if I’m remembering correctly) and I think that’s just sad. It’s like… watching Padme, once the queen of an entire planet and then a senator in the galactic senate, spend most of RotS barefoot and pregnant. Idk I just think it’s wasted potential and it’s stupid and I want to make it better.

I already said I like the Uchiha and Uzumaki as foils, and the one who seems to beat balance her out personality-wise is Fugaku: he’s another case wasted potential (not as bad as Kushina, but still). I like having someone more serious and a little older than her to balance her immaturity and whimsical nature, someone who has the physical and mental stamina to keep up with her, and abilities that compliment hers. I think there are a lot more thoughts about those qualities but I’m exhausted rn. BUT. All this to say Fugaku seems to fit perfectly with her personality and her abilities and has the mental resilience to keep up. He doesn’t strike me as someone who would put her on a pedestal (like Minato did) and instead would challenge her and force her to think instead of behaving recklessly. In canon he’s stern (discipline-wise)with his children—I can see him taking the same approach with Kushina pre-relationship because he can see the potential and will try to help it grow the best way he knows.

She probably likes him for the fact that he doesn’t care she’s an outlier in the village—he likes competence and assertiveness and she’s got that in spades. He treats her as a person and a contributing member of the village—treating her like she has value beyond being a jinchuuriki (which I’m pretty sure was kinda hush hush at that point in canon but idc shhh). 

I just want mutual respect and a balanced relationship and symbolism with an Uchiha/Uzumaki union. A kind of closure to these two once great clans.

…And their babies would be hella cute ☺️ 

[emotionally-charged-arson]

A Very, Very Unfinished Pile of Theory of Everything Headcanons (Ayreon)

Last semester, my English final was a presentation relating the overall theme of the Forever saga to that of the more popular works of H.G. Wells. Details of that argument aside, the thesis was that Ayreon’s emotional core was the presence of small-scale acts of love juxtaposed against large-scale existential tragedy, balanced in their individual power. That we are messy and self-destructive, and in the grand scheme of things we mean very little in the universe, but we are resilient and alive and human and that has to be worth something.

I really like this aspect of the main story, and it got me a perfect score on that assignment. It had a ten minute time limit and I was fighting for my life to stay under it. While I was downsizing the script, I couldn’t help but think of an earlier idea I had drafted about how The Theory of Everything on its own was a really incredible example of the mad scientist archetype turned completely on its head (it was a science-fiction analysis class). Specifically how that script was almost three times longer than the original H.G. Wells one, that took me a solid twenty minutes to read aloud. 

I literally wrote an hour long lecture about The Theory of Everything. No headcanons. No extra theories. Literally just picking apart its canon plot. 

I think this is why I have so little extra writing for it. The story as its given is airtight and just…fucking incredible. Arjen wrote it with a very clear theme in mind like he did with Transitus, but TToE isn’t missing half of its story because he couldn’t pull in the cash to make a movie out of it. You can feel the intention behind every single character, they feel like real people, it has so many layers to it and it is literally, objectively, the greatest prog album ever made. Fight me. 

But anyways: For lack of better phrasing, there isn’t much to “fix” in that sense. Almost all the headcanons I have for The Source or Transitus boil down to a few things:

I was being self-indulgent with a favorite character and it snowballed into a genuinely informative trait/subplot that informs the main story (a certain hc I have where Henry just fucking shoots Daniel in the back by mistake sometime between Two Worlds and Talk of the Town, turning into this weirdly effective commentary of how Daniel is conditioned to his brother’s shitty behavior and Abby hauling ass to get him out of that headspace)

I am curious about aspects of an album’s worldbuilding and get a little excited while filling in the blanks that were perfectly fine being left alone (doing mental gymnastics trying to build a version of The Source where these five academics, three politicians, two religious figures, one robot and one random spaceman viably know each other)

The rarer option that I am genuinely disappointed by how a part of the story was handled and completely ignore this small part of canon to make the overall story be more effective. Or attempt it, at least (Lavinia’s entire character undermining Transitus’ themes and her contradicting her own motivations, and me, in turn, just writing her character from scratch while keeping with the basic story beats [her seeing ghosts, doing shady shit with Henry, etc.])

But with TToE I’ve felt very little need to do any of these. If I were to really dive into it with intention I think I would start building off of the whole bank robbery plot in Phase III (just a slightly weirdly framed plot point for me), but I haven’t thought about it. It’s not that glaring of an issue and there’s few other places in the story where I think adding anything would make it more effective. 

This isn’t to say that Transitus and The Source are objectively worse in any sense, but they leave a lot more up to interpretation, allowing me to write so many add ons that they become structured and essential to each other’s function. 

It’s fun with those two albums. With TToE I really have to look for cracks to fill and it’s kind of useless. 

Not entirely, though. I’ve got a few hcs, and maybe they’ll warrant dozens of google doc pages of context one day like the other two albums: 

Two central things sparked curiosity. Setting, and how the parent characters came to hate each other that much. Naturally. 

This started four-ish years ago when I was pacing around my parents’ house with TToE on the mind (as it often is), and my brother put on this show called His Dark Materials. I watched the intro to it all of one time and just…knew this was the aesthetic TToE should have.🔗 At least combined with dark academia. It’s an album about physics and ghosts, that seems reasonable enough. 

…funnily enough, as I later found out, His Dark Materials itself has a very dark-academia-esque vibe, and the plot is entirely based upon the intersectionality between science and mysticism and trivial human attempts to make sense of it. 

So. Pretty fitting. 

This really stuck with me, and a handful of the characteristics of the show and books became the basis for the way I picture The Theory of Everything. Mainly the visual aesthetic, like I said, but also the fact that the story starts at a parallel version of Oxford University. I don’t have some giant case study for this like with Transitus/New England. I just think it’d be a cool and vibey setting. Maybe it’s the American in me but there’s something about a thousand-year-old college with a campus made of literal goddamn castles that borders on the fantastic. 

From there, you have a decent excuse for The Prodigy to run off to Ireland, where you can choose from one of like 200 different pretty little isolated lighthouses for him to lose his mind in, far enough away for him not to be found as long as he did. Not to mention it lowkey matches with the overt Celtic influence of the music. Or Scotland, if you want some weather symbolism from the North Sea. 

Solid setting, if I say so myself, and it actually influenced the family’s whole situation. Here, The Father (Mike) is a physics professor at Oxford, and The Mother (Cristina) is the director of the Bodleian Library. It’s how and where they meet in 1991 (though the mother is in an attendant position at the time), as shown by the only part of this I have drawn out:

They hit it off, and marry in 1993. Their first and only child is born two years later and they love him half to death. Everything is more or less nice and normal. 

In 1996, Mike stumbles into “proof,” more or less, of the theory of everything being a singular, solvable equation through his work, practically by accident, and begins focused work on it with enthusiastic support from his wife. Life is going great, Cristina is promoted and the two are balancing things well enough. 

The boy shows little to no social development into his toddler years, but his parents don’t think much of it. His father was similar at his age; they’re not worried. They even go as far to say he’ll turn out just as ambitious and smart as his dad and relatives, coworkers and family friends go along with it, setting insanely high expectations for this literal three year old. Mike keeps working on his theory. 

The boy enters preschool at age four; still no improvement. Just isolates himself and draws indiscernible patterns on everything you put in front of him. His parents finally try to intervene to some degree, hiring private instructors and talking with some other psych/child development people they know through the university, to no avail. Nothing changes. He just stares off into space, doesn’t interact with any of them and supposedly doesn’t pay attention to lessons. He still isn’t speaking. Cristina is finally concerned

Around the same time, Mike makes a significant breakthrough in his work, gaining worldwide attention. He receives massive grants from in and outside of Oxford to continue his work, and quits his teaching job to make more time for the endeavor. Cristina is left as the family’s sole provider. She understands and is in agreement on that decision, that’s not the problem yet. The problem is that Mike is becoming more or less indifferent to their son hits five, not seeing any previously projected greatness he was supposed to have in his father’s footsteps. Cristina, much more conscious of balance in her life and how having kids works, isn’t sure what to make of that. Their relationship starts to strain. 

From there, as Mike keeps working, Cristina takes the kid to all sorts of specialists around England but none of them can pinpoint what’s “wrong” with him. She tries much more actively to connect with him like they’re telling her to (though she still enrolls him in the university’s affiliated primary school program, against their suggestions), bringing him everywhere. Buys him little memory games since that’s all that seems to hold his attention. She’s past any belief of him being some secret genius like his dad, not that her opinion of her husband is super positive at this point anyway. She’s just dead-set on her son having some sense of normal in his life. 

By 2002, Mike has completely secluded himself and works nearly constantly. He has made no progress on his theory since 1999 and the fame garnered from his breakthrough has faded. The family is running out of money and Cristina is exhausted. The boy is ostracized at school and still (almost) totally nonverbal. Her coworkers keep suggesting these weird holistic remedies that she refuses. She knows better than to fall for all that new age, pyramid scheme bullshit. 

The son’s condition, whatever it is, worsens until mom, desperate, puts her foot down in 2008 (or “gives up,” if you wanna put it like that) and drags her husband and son to this private practice in Scotland she was told about by a friend, suspicious but ready to put up with anything at this point. 

😐👍

[writeouswriter]

Winter Reading/Arting/Writing Tag

Thanks so much for the tag, @ink-bunny-blue! (X)

Describe one creative WIP project you plan on working on over winter

I always “plan on” working on a thousand things and then do none of them 😭 because I haven’t been in so much a “creative slump” as I’ve been in an iron gripped chokehold by hyperfixation for the last year, so on one hand I’ve been unable to focus on any of my original writing because it’s not about The Interest™️, and then on the other hand I haven’t even been able to write anything about The Interest™️ because the fixation on it is so strong, everything I write for it has to be Perfect™️ (and nothing’s ever perfect, you know). On that note, if my ability to write returns from the war and I ever get a day off from this purgatory of a job, I really really really want to work on this comparative essay about The Interest™️ involving analyzing parallels to a certain classic play, and looking into various aspects of the tragicomic structure and themes of identity and change. Also, God willing, I’d love to get one fic done, just one, please please please, I have a few winter-y or Christmas-y ones I’m dying to get my brain to sign off on despite my lack of free time, come on, brain, yip yip.

Art, same thing, something Christmas-y for The Interest™️, also I gotta finish some zine pieces.

As for original writing, would love to work on my untitled WIP about an astrobiologist and team of other assorted scientists brought in by a somewhat questionable facility to study an extraterrestrial artefact and being affected strangely by it, but it’s a bit up in the air plot wise. Would love to answer asks about it though if anyone is interested 😭

Recommend a book

Definitely mentioned it before but:

Legion: The Many Lives of Stephen Leeds by Brandon Sanderson

“Stephen Leeds is perfectly sane. It's his hallucinations who are mad.”

This is like speculative fiction/thriller/mystery that’s hard to explain, but perfect balance of humour and sincerity, sci-fi and reality, and character and plot, probably my favourite standalone novel ever (well it’s really 3 novellas that somewhat connect and come together to form a novel, but either way).

Survive the Night by Riley Sager

Charlie Jordan is being driven across the country by a serial killer. Maybe.

This is a thriller book set in the 90s that as its title suggests, takes place over the course of one night, where a troubled, film-obsessed college girl (and unreliable narrator) who recently witnessed her friend’s murder (but can’t recall the killer’s face) decides to travel back home via a ride share where her driver may or may not be said killer, and has to, you guessed it, survive the night.

Now, this is actually one of Sager’s lowest ranked and seemingly most universally hated novels, whereas it’s the only one of his I actually thoroughly enjoyed/didn’t find mediocre and thought had a sense of style as I like the almost cinematic way it was written?? It was fast paced, it was fun, it had unique prose, and I think it perfectly captured the vibes of a cheesy 90s B-movie (said as a compliment).

Recommend a fic

I still cannot recommend From Out the Ocean Risen by Bluestar enough, it acts as a sequel fic to the movie Pacific Rim, and has some of the most gorgeously well executed cinematic prose and imagery I’ve ever read, not to mention impeccable character dialogue, and an incredible grasp on the balance between drama/angst/action/heart/humour.

What’s a Little B&E Between Friends by VoiceOfNurse is also a fantastic Pacific Rim series with a solid grasp on both character dynamics/POV and style. A fascinating, very humanizing character study, both angsty and fun.

Recommend Music

I’ve suddenly never heard a song in my life.

The Killing Moon by Echo & The Bunnymen is stuck in my head again, so, *tosses that at you*

She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult also in my head so *throws that also*

Also, even though I haven’t actively listened to them in a while, I’m still still actually super excited for Green Day’s new album, so *one more toss*

Dilemma

The American Dream is Killing Me

Tagging if you want to do it no pressure!: @the-angriest-bunny-of-the-fandom, @writing2sirvive, @druidx, @universalfanfic, @karolinarodrigueswrites, @multi-lefaiye, @transmasc-wizard, @drabbleitout, @merelyafigment, @aritany, @rockium-z, @caffernnn and anyone who wants to do this, feel free to say I tagged you, you’re tagged.

[littlefroginthegarden]

Sold to Heartsteel 1/24

its a liiiittle bit late but whatever... im trying to write an advents calendar fic, theres some buffer but ill write during the month so im also open to input if you have any good ideas :)

hope you enjoy!

Tags: semi-ironic adaptation of 'sold to one direction' trope so yeah theres obv selling involved, angst, fluff, friendship, romance, maybe smut, mlm, transmasc character, some transphobia but mostly just parents being shit but nothing explicit or slurs or stuff, yeah i think thats about it, ill update this if anything changes xoxo

Part 1

Hi, my name is Hwei and I’m a misunderstood artist. Well, that’s not exactly true. My Parents hate my art and they think it’s just a waste of time. But under the name DemonBrush I’m known all around the world, my art account just recently hit two million followers. Which didn’t help me at all in my real life. I’ve been 18 now for a few months but my parents still act like I’m 16. I haven’t finished school yet and I can’t move out because my anxiety has made working impossible so far. My parents don’t allow me to get therapy or meds and I’m on their insurance so there’s nothing I can do. I sigh and try to think about something else but looking out my small window into the dark December morning isn’t helping. I go and pull the curtains, turn on my fairy lights and sit at my small desk that is crammed between the bed and the heavy wooden dresser. 

My reflection stares at me in the mirror, dark shadows under my amethyst eyes, a sign that I slept terribly, once again. The nightmares wouldn’t leave me alone. I sigh and start doing my makeup, nothing bright, just some smudged dark eyeshadow and black eyeliner on my waterline. My mom was probably gonna complain again but I don’t care. Last week she told me “People might think you’re gay!” Yeah, sure mom. I mean, why do you think I have all these Heartsteel posters hanging in my room? Because I love their one song so much? But when she says "gay" she means "lesbian". She would have an aneurysm if I tried to explain to her that I’m trans. And then she would probably throw me out. As if she could read my thoughts, I hear her shouting from downstairs “Come down immediately, Hwa! I can hear that you’re up.”

Ugh.

I throw on a black oversized hoodie that matches my skinny jeans (also black) and put my dark juniper green hair in a messy bun before I run downstairs as quick as I can. Better not make mom wait, she’s awful enough as is.

When I enter the kitchen, I almost bump into a large man in a suit that is standing next to my mom.

“Oh fuck, sorry!” I quickly say, getting a death stare from my mom but for once she doesn’t even berate me for swearing. She just looks between me and this dude, who was wearing dark sunglasses (in December!) for some fucking reason.

“Who is this?” I ask after a few moments of awkward silence.

“My name is Mr. Mundo, nice to meet you, Hwa.” His voice fits his impressive stature perfectly.

My mother steps forward and puts her hand on my shoulder, looking at me more seriously than I have ever seen her. “You know that we haven’t had the easiest time since dad lost his job. And since you refuse to work and pay your share, we had no other choice.”

“What do you mean? What choice?” I ask, slowly starting to panic.

“You’ll go with Mr. Mundo, he has a job for you where you’ll work for six months. You’ll get a room and food and the money goes to pay back all the debt you owe us.”

“Debt? What do I owe you?”

“Darling, you've been living and eating here for free for 18 years!”

“This is insane!” I yell at her. “You’re selling me? You are a monster!”

“Selling? It’s just temporary honey, and it’s a decent job, don’t make it sound worse than it is!”

“You can’t do that, I’m an adult, you can’t force me!” At this point I’m full on panicking. This can’t be happening, it should just be another nightmare. But I know it’s real. My nightmares are way different.

“You are right and nobody is forcing you. But think about this, it would give you the perfect opportunity to get some good job experiences while at the same time helping out your family! Also –” she adds “if you don’t take this offer then you’ll have to pack your bags, we can’t pay for you any longer.”

“If you stayed off the booze you could.” I press through my teeth, anger winning over panic.

She just ignores it and tells me “Please Honey, think about it. If you go with Mr. Mundo at least you’ll have a roof and food. We just want what’s best for you! You’ll thank us in a few years, mark my words.” With this she turns around and leaves me alone in the kitchen with this absolute hunk of a man.

“Go pack your stuff, we leave in an hour.” He hands me a big suitcase before sinking down onto the washed-out red leather couch in the living room, turning the TV on, unfazed by all of this as if it was his daily job. Which it probably was.

Still in shock, I go back to my room and just stare at the mirror for a solid minute. I still haven’t processed what just happened but I start throwing my most important stuff into the suitcase. I have a lot of clothes but most of them are from my parents and I hate wearing them. So it’s not too difficult to fit all my favorite pieces into the suitcase, some skinny jeans, flowy tops and hoodies and of course accessories, I can’t leave my choker collection here. Then I go to my bed and from under the mattress I pull my binder. I put it under all the other things so it won’t be visible if my mom checks my suitcase. She would freak out. I gather the rest of the stuff, making sure I have my laptop, makeup and favorite books, and check the time. I still have 15 minutes left but at this point, the quicker I’m gone the better. I grab the heavy suitcase and try to carry it down the stairs. Two steps in I nearly slip and the suitcase crashes onto the step with a loud Thud. Before I’m even up I can hear heavy steps on the stairs.

Mr. Mundo grabs the suitcase without saying a word and carries it down. I awkwardly follow him, hoping my mom is distracted and hasn’t noticed the commotion. For once I seem to be lucky, she’s nowhere to be seen. At the door, Mr. Mundo turns around and asks me “Are you sure that you have everything? You won’t be able to come back here anytime soon.”

“Yeah I’m not planning on doing that anyways. Can we go?” I ask impatiently.

He doesn’t answer and just opens the door and walks down the driveway towards the black car with darkened windows that is waiting at the end of it. He puts my suitcase in the back of it with ease and opens the door in the back, gesturing for me to get in. I hesitate for a second, but when I can hear the front door of the house open again, I quickly get in before I can hear whatever my mother wants to tell me. He slams the door behind me and gets into the driver’s seat, which I can’t even see from back here because there’s a divider between the front and the back of the car. Like in a limousine. Or a cop car. It feels more like the latter, like I’m a prisoner.

The car rumbles to life and even though the windows are heavily tinted, I can see the shadows of trees racing past us. Where are we going?

[bonesandthebees]

hello! you probably don’t remember but I’m that one anon earlier this summer who mentioned how glass divine has been helping me work through my spirituality crisis and religious trauma, and I’m so happy to say I think I made it to the other side. just a few days ago I finally decided to leave, and reading about glass!wilbur doing the same hit me really hard. while I haven’t committed as blatant of an act of heresy, the tattoo scene in the last chapter still captured my emotions so perfectly: the overwhelming fear and the excitement and the anger and the hope. i really like how even though we’re nearing the end, wilbur doesn’t ever reach a neat resolution because it isn’t that easy, but the beginnings of healing are there. I know this sounds stupid but I genuinely feel like glass!wilbur and I went through the last few months together, like I’m not as alone as it sometimes feels. about to start crying so I’ll shut up now. this story is so much more than a story to me and I cannot thank you enough <3

oh I think I do remember your earlier ask! this is such an amazing update to see. I know how scary a realization like that about the religion you've been a part of for years can be, and taking steps to get away from a place like that can be incredibly hard even if it's hurting you. it's not stupid to think that you and glass!wilbur went through that together. if reading my story helped you work through this stuff, then you and my character did go through it together in a way. that's not stupid at all, and honestly I'm just so happy my words and story helped you to feel a bit less isolated because I know just how isolating leaving a community like that can be.

be gentle with yourself, anon <3

[creoterative]

Tagged by @nullians , thank you so much!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to know better/catch up with! (I’m sorry, it’s probably not gonna be 9 for me, I don’t know that many people yet xD)

Last Song:

-Bad Blood by Creature Feature. I’ve known this song for years, but it only came up to me again recently, probably because I found Five Thousand Foot Krutch again and I always listen to both bands simultaniously for whatever reason... Also I’m currently trying to figure out my storyboard for my first ever animated video, and One Foot in the Grave by Creature Feature is gonna be the song for it, that’s a reason I got back to it. I’m not expecting much though xD

Three Ships:

-Hmmm... Alright, first, I wanna add, that I really don’t like it if I have to explain why I ship certain characters with each other, because for me shipping is just part of the whole fictional thing and I don’t like it if people come after others for liking certain ships. So... yeah, that being said, I’m just gonna explain a little xD

First ship is Marlon x Brody. I personally don’t see it after their secret is exposed, and as I played it out in my own story for Marlon, I don’t think they would go further than just having a crush on each other. But I like their dynamic as a leader pair, you know, her being his second-in-command, even though she has her anxiety issues (and we all know what happens when he has his, ehem, little outbursts, so...) and in general, I can see them as partners, working together, while slightly blushing sometimes, you know what I’m saying? XD

Second ship is gonna be Arthur Morgan and Mary. First of all, yes, they were a pair at some point, but... I still wanted to list them, I like their story together and how they like to tease the other. And to be honest, their relationship reflects perfectly what I have with someone, so... yeah, only natural I think that relationship is well written and pretty accurate, eh? 

Last but not least, Li Ling and Tang Xuan. I gotta admit, I haven’t played Dislyte for a longer time now, I dunno, it’s one of these games, that I get bored of from time to time, then I get really hyped again and the cycle continues, BUT I will never get rid of it, for that I love it too much. Back to the ship, Li Ling is my favorite by a length and I like how him and Tang Xuan are very casual with each other. You know, I really love it when relationships are portrayed as the normalest thing ever and it’s not a big deal, because yes, to the people involved it may be, but not to everybody else. I love it when they do normal stuff together, like best friends would do, because that’s what a relationship is all about, right? Being able to let loose with the other person, be yourself and act as normal as ever, just with very strong feelings for the person next to you xD And I can totally see that with these two. 

Currently Reading: 

-Sherlock Holmes. I have a list of some older books I want to read to get more writing skills. If that works, well, we’ll see, but it’s fun, especially since Sherlock Holmes books are really interesting and funny in some weird way. I’m reading them in german though, not sure if my english is good enough to read the originals.

Last Movie: 

-Last one I watched in cinema was Avatar 2 and I gotta admit... the visuals were astonishingly great, there’s no doubt. But... three hours is too much and I don’t like it if too many characters are involved. I like character depth, maybe that’s why I can’t focus on Dislyte as well, too many characters being developed too fast, my brain can’t compete...

And last one I watched at home was Top Gun: Maverick, with I thought was a wayyy better experience. Shorter, good character development, nice story, good addition to the first movie... and I like jets xD

Craving: 

-Time.... I need time, that’s all. I want to continue writing the next chapter for my Marlon story, and I’m currently on it, but my goal for writing at least 10.000 words per chapter is a big one xD So far it worked though... 

Thanks for tagging me, again, really enjoyed answering these questions!

Tagging: @ericsonclan @elsaedelweiss @shinneth @anghju @the-rational-mind

[opinated-user]

WHY does Lily think people get off to hurting female characters? There's "beat them to death with a fucking rock because they're vile human beings who get off to the suffering of women and non white people." from her last video but there's also her freakout from her video on The Legend of Korra where she says that 1. only Korra is shown being beaten up in the series (a lie if you watched even a handful of episodes) and 2. the only reason she gets beaten up in fights instead of coming out without injuries is because the writers get off to it.

I don't know how to explain it to her but sometimes bad shit happens to characters and no one is masturbating to it. It is, in fact, extremely unusual for anyone to masturbate to or be aroused by these things. So why does she keep acting like this is NORMAL?

Anecdotal evidence for my point: even super misogynistic men I know were incredibly uncomfortable in my Public Speaking class when I talked about a subgenre of porn, ryona, that's currently getting banned off of most websites. In ryona porn, the sex does not make up the majority of the video, beating up a woman does - and even the fucking INCELS in my class looked ready to vomit. There are very, very, VERY few people who get off to violence and suffering. I won't say they don't exist, but even people who hate women are usually not into it and even people who are in favor of consensual rough sex are repulsed by the concept of beating someone up being an arousing thing in and of itself.

For once it's not projection since there's no ryona in Lily's Sankaku faves, but that just makes me more confused, not less. Where the fuck is she getting this from?

this is going to be pure especulation from my part, full tinfoil moment... but i do think that she's projecting. remember all the times we spoke about how LO always had to slip something abusive on whatever relationship she's writing and then tries to gaslight the audience into thinking that it's wholesome? well, the modern example of that is clearly whatever is happening between G and CLO but before that was stockholm. i know that when talking about that series most people immediately jump to Rainbow Dash being written as an offending pedophile but there's actually a b plot that is the whole reason why the story is called stockholm: that of Ascentia and Twilight. their conflict is that twilight is horribly agressive with ascentia, slapping her around, raping her multiple times, kicking her, and she does it publicly and never faces any consequences for it because Ascentia has developed stockholm and the physical abuse is what she has come to expect, so twilight essentially is encouraged by the narrative to keep abusing. the other day i was talking with someone about stockholm and they showed me a post where the co-author, Nintengogal55, talked about a particular scene that was so extreme that actually brought her to tears.

Okay, this other one was for a shot we currently haven’t released yet. Without going into too much details, it involved the CMC and it was so awful. I would read all of my original fanfics from ten years ago than ever write or read that again! I didn’t just hate how the scene became, I felt physically uncomfortable reading it and writing it. It wasn’t just uncomfortable, it was painful. All throughout Stockholm, the worst I ever felt was sad. Now sad, I can handle that perfectly fine. Even the descriptions of the domestic abuse, while unnerving, weren’t graphically written and didn’t affect me that badly. Yes, Ascentia terrified me in the story, but I can also handle fear. But physical discomfort from writing/reading something so terribly uncomfortable and painful? No way. I was, honestly, on the verge of TEARS. Thankfully, Bhaalspawn understood and offered that we make it less…like that. It turned out so much better after that. I am forever thankful for his compassion and letting us re-do that scene. <3

it was LO's idea to make that scene. i don't know what scene was, i don't want to imagine it, but if it had such a strong reaction on the co-author, who already was up for the most disturbing aspects of this story then it had to be graphic, it had to be visceral and it had to be a especial kind of awful. the CMC are a group of literal children on the story so this scene, whatever it was, it would have involved children going through something so graphically horrible that the co-author couldn't handle it. in stockholm there's a lot of reference to the abuse that ascentia goes through. she winces she has to sit because twilight literally made a tear on her ass, she gets an arm broken so it has to be put on a cast and there is a scene where twilight goes feral on her, breaking her nose and her ribs. ascentia goes through hell and in my opinion it's not made any better by the fact that it's "off screen" because we still read about the results of that extreme abuse. to what i have been told, something similar happens on her fanfic previous to stockholm. on the ones where she introduces Matt Ryder (her self insert, remember that) there's many one scenes where Meg (only Meg, never Matt) gets abused as well and it's treated like a joke or a minor thing not worth paying attention. you could say that LO back then was trying to imitate the "humor" of FG by constantly bashing Meg, her favourite character, but considering that she just kept doing that with later works? i don't know. broken champions, the fanfiction that LO wrote about anevay and only shared for a server? the exact same thing happens, although for one the abuser of anevay wasn't her love interest and those abusers are cartoonisly evil before they get punished. but the fic still spend so much time describing all the different ways in which anevay was tortured, raped, branded, mocked and broken down. one scene could have been enough, but it happened so many times i had to skip entire parragraphs because it was making me so uncomfortable. someone could potentially say that was a survivor of abuse venting about their experience and using a fictional character in order to live through something horrible and get the desired comfort at the end. i can see that point of view. fiction can be a great tool for therapy that way. but it just hit me right now, as i was reading your ask, that could also just an excuse. why else would she keep sliding abusive dynamics into her "wholesome" works? why does she keep accusing others of specifically "getting off" to scenes of women suffering or being beaten? there's a lot of abuse and rape on her sankaku account, so why this kind of interest would be out of place? see the thing in common between all these characters (CLO, ascentia, meg, anevay)... these are all characters LO claims to care about and love. LO multiple times directly says that she makes anevay suffer the worst just because. i believe she's projecting and we can see that on her writing more than on her porn accounts. i'll admit i could be seeing something that's not really there and there isn't any real evidence for what i'm saying, but i believe there's a coherent pattern here and it makes sense with all we know about LO.