#much and so many things and u deserve better and u deserve someone who appreciates u for what u r!!!!!”

[causenessus]

Love Languages. | Bungou Stray Dogs

inc: dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, tecchou, jouno

written in 2nd pov (female reader implied)

song recc: do you love by trish toledo & baby bash

word count: 2324 words

pretty sure everything is written in lowercase except for names if they didn't look ugly capitalized bc aesthetics !!! had tons of fun writing this I apologize, this is barely proofread and for literally every character I got too caught up in specific examples and scenarios and just kept building off of it but I think they're kind of sweet so I hope u enjoy <3

dazai osamu - acts of service

“she peels an orange for us in the morning / she woke me up to give me half” golden girl - frank ocean

he’s terrible at taking care of himself, so someone who takes the time to care for him just makes every wall crumble

he’s probably horrible at remembering to eat as well, so if you make something for him he’ll treasure it forever

bonus points if your job requires you to wake up earlier than him (which isn’t hard, he def comes in a little later than his coworkers) and you leave something for him to eat when he wakes up or to take with him to work (or both <3)

he’ll start to look forward to waking up in the mornings in hope that you’ve made him something

never asks you if you’ll make something in specific or if you’ll even make him something at all. he adores anything you make and doesn’t want to make you feel obliged to do something if you happen to be tired and don’t want to cook tomorrow

voices all his appreciation for you when you both have laid down to go to sleep

“bella, I can’t tell you how much it means to me, all that you do. you really don’t have to make me anything if it’s a hassle in the morning or when you get home. you already work so hard.”

you turned onto your other side to face him, pushing a stray lock of hair behind his ear as you smiled, “I do it because I want to, ‘Samu. and because I love you. if I can’t spend the day with you because we’re both at work, at least I can take care of you.”

his chest buzzed with so much happiness his eyes stung for a moment. he held himself back from saying that he didn’t deserve you. saying something like that wouldn’t solve anything. instead, he’d make himself worthy of you by helping out as well

he probably can’t cook very well but he finds other ways to help, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, getting groceries, and cleaning the place so that there’s less on your plate

ask him to do anything and he’ll get it done for you as soon as possible <3

I think that for him, receiving such sweet love without any words is foreign to him but is just what he needs. he’d rather show how much he loves you than say it (although he loves to tell you it as well). getting out of bed could be so difficult for him some days, yet having a goal for himself has motivated him to become a better person. he wakes up, excited for what you may have made him and ready to do whatever he can for you

nakahara chuuya - gift giving

“they asked, ‘do you love her to death?’ I said, ‘speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.’” - mahmoud darwish

it’s easier for him to express how much you mean to him by giving you everything you want and everything he thinks you would like

he still tells you that he loves you every chance he gets, but oftentimes it is accompanied by a gift, no matter how small it may be, from just a single rose to a whole garden

for him, it gives a new purpose in his work; he’s working in order to get you whatever your pretty heart desires

he’s proud to use his hard-earned money to buy you things (rather than spending it all on wine <3 ily chuuya)

the easiest thing he can always get you is a favorite snack or drink and he’s got a whole system for it

he knows every store it’s available at and many of the clerks are familiar with him from the sheer amount of times he’s visited them to buy something for you. it never grows old for him, his favorite thing to do is buy you something on his way home from work or during the day when he’s planning to surprise you with a visit

he keeps a mental list of what your favorite things are. you’ll tell him about something you like without thinking anything of it but he’s already planned out when and how to give the item to you. it’s always on his mind what he’ll buy you each day, and it’s always worth it seeing you enjoy whatever he’s bought you

sometimes it’s as simple as a coffee and he’ll drop by your work to give it to you in person

“hanging in there, Angel? need a little pick-me-up?” he has the biggest smile on his face every time he sees you, and bringing a gift for you with him only adds to his excitement

“you spoil me, Chuuya,” you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning further into him as he holds you in his arms.

“what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” he responds, rubbing your back as you sigh.

receiving gifts from you is just as sweet. no one has ever given him as many gifts as he’s given others–which is fine with him–it’s not about what he’ll get in return and he knows that not everyone expresses their love the way he does

but he’s touched whenever you get him something. since giving gifts is so meaningful to him, it means even more that someone would go through the trouble to give something back to him

he’ll keep whatever you get him close to him at all times and smile every time he sees it or remembers it

once, you bought him a new chain for his hat and he hasn’t changed it since. it only made the hat more special to him now that it reflects two people that had changed his life

akutagawa ryunosuke - words of affirmation

“my love, you are worth it all.”

we all know how the boy responded to dazai’s praise or even simply just the words “dazai wants to talk to you”

to hear a person who has persisted through his stubborn, aggressive defense say they still love him causes him to start to soften for you

he’s been surrounded by harsh words and people who have exploited him and brushed him to the side whenever he wasn’t needed all his life, so it stirs his heart to hear someone notice things about him and who tells him that they want to stay with him

it’s something reserved for solitary moments just between the two of you for sure, but that makes the time all the more special because he can let down his guard and just be with you

his past has made it hard for him to believe he is worthy of anything other than the murderous skills he’s harnessed in order to get him to where he is in the Mafia, but you’ve shown him that there’s more to him than just how well he can use Rashomon

he never bothers to try and listen to what other people are saying but he always gives his full attention to anything you have to say

he doesn’t even like to hear compliments from anyone else, he doesn’t trust them at all but he trusts and believes anything you tell him, knowing you have the purest intentions of loving and supporting him

after a job, all he wants to do is go home. by the end of the day, he’s sick of everyone around him so on the rare occasion that you decide to visit him, he won’t even notice until you call out to him

he had just finished a job, it was successful, but it had gotten messy. Mori had already told him off and he didn’t want to hear anything from anyone else. he stormed past every piece of vermin that had decided to get in his way, their whispers just barely reaching his ears

“Ryu!” you called out from amongst them, waiting by a door.

“What?” he hadn’t meant to snap, especially when he realized it was you talking to him and his face immediately relaxed when he saw you.

“oh, [y/n].” he immediately started to make his way towards you, the pounding in his head slowly starting to disappear the closer

“I came to pick you up, I’m glad I had good timing,” you smiled, offering your hand.

he took it gently, giving it a soft squeeze, “I’m sorry I responded so rudely, I didn’t–”

“you’re okay, Ryu,” you placed your other hand on top of it, looking him straight in the eyes, keeping a loving smile on your face, “you don’t ever have to be sorry. you’re doing just fine. even better, actually. I’m so proud of all your work and I’m sure you’re tired after everything today. it looked busy.”

the words erased every memory of Mori’s scolding that his head had latched on to in order to beat himself down later on. he felt his cheeks warm a little as he looked away, “you’re too kind to me, [y/n].”

tries his best to also put into words his appreciation but it’s so hard for him to verbally say it; sometimes it comes out wrong

instead, he’s opted for notes most of the time, leaving them on your bedside or in your bag, telling you how thankful he is for you and that he loves you

suehiro tecchou - quality time

“on the train we swapped seats, you wanted the window and I wanted to look at you.” - mahmoud darwish

my boy is always so busy

as soon as he’s off work he just wants to be wherever you’re at

he’d doesn’t mind silence and doesn’t care where he is as long as he’s with you

sometimes gets off work and if you’re not home yet just sneaks into your workplace to be around you

adores following you around and doesn’t always know exactly what you’re doing but he’s just happy to tag along

grocery store dates are some of his favorite moments with you

he loves everything about convenience stores

he loves food and the endless aisles of colorful packages and choices

(it gives him ideas for new food combinations <3)

once bought a himalayan salt shaker simply because

“look [y/n]! they make pink salt :0”

later put said pink salt on top of strawberry ice cream bc they were both pink

he also loves getting to look around the store all the while following you. he admires your organized grocery lists and how you’ve already planned out what you’re going to buy

once you tried to send him out to grab something in an area you’d already passed so that you could continue going down the list

“can you go grab some carrots for me, love? sorry, I forgot to pick them up when we were in the produce section.”

“of course 🙂” his heart is shattering inside of him at the thought of being separated from you.

“do you want to stay with me and we’ll go back later?” you ask, looking up at him with a knowing smile.

“yes pls”

groceries stores are not the only place you guys go tho i promise

if you’re still in school, he’ll accompany you on study dates 

never bothers you under any circumstances and if he is and you tell him he’ll stop right away

he could spend all day looking at your pretty face even if you never once looked at him <3

jouno saigiku - physical touch

“you kiss the back of my legs and I want to cry / the sun has come this close, only the sun” “GPS” - Shauan Barbosa

although he can’t see you, he knows your body by heart <3

he’s spent so much time tracing it over and over with his hands

i think his favorite thing to do, especially after a long day at work is flop onto you and just listen to your heartbeat. probably also intertwines one of his hands with yours, often runs other across your skin

loves when you touch him just as much

if he’s lying on top of you and you decide to run a hand through his hair, all of his problems have just melted away

you both have definitely fallen asleep like that countless times no matter what time of day it is

he’s always finding ways to be in close contact with you, making sure that you’re safe and near him

again, he loves loves loves to hold your hand, he’ll reach for it any chance he gets

will also settle for an arm around your shoulder though as long as you’re close to him

definitely the type to also rest his head on top of yours or on your shoulder every chance he gets

if he needs to fidget he won’t even play with his own fingers he’ll just play with yours

i think that with the loss of one sense, the other senses hold so much meaning for him

it’s easier and more meaningful for him to show his love and how much he trusts you through touch rather than just saying it out loud

comes up from behind you to hug you a lot, especially in the kitchen or when you’ve just come home he’s there immediately, hugging you to recharge

“how was your day, my love?”

you always relax in his arms, turning your head slightly to kiss his face which he’s let rest on your shoulder, “it was missing you.”

he placed a chaste kiss on your lips, “i’ll make it all up to you now, darling.”

there was one time that he let you do his hair

he’s never told you how much he enjoyed it; he didn’t even know what you had done to it, but being near your warmth is all he needs and can ask for <3

[mrsevans90]

Puppy Love

Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 1

Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?

Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 

Word Count: 3,502

Warnings: Abused animal, domestic violence, stalker ex-boyfriend, mention of nightmares/PTSD, smut in future chapters.

MINORS DNI! Must be 18+

I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 

This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

A big thanks to @shellyshellshell for encouraging me to write this story!

A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 

*Syverson POV*

It’s certainly difficult to leave the cool air conditioning of the house to head to work when the weather forecast predicts another scorching Texas summer day where the humidity makes your clothes immediately stick to your skin. It’s nothing I’m not familiar with having grown up in Texas my whole life and then spending two tours in the desert before returning home. You’d think I would move somewhere cold, but the south is all I know. I certainly couldn’t leave Nana and Pawpaw either. After finishing my last tour, I came home and bought an empty house in disrepair and spent the better part of a year ripping it to studs and rebuilding. I was really struggling with returning to civvy life after spending the majority last ten years in the sand pit. Originally, I had just planned to fix up my house so that it was comfortable and hell, livable, until I discovered what I wanted to do outside of the army. Remodeling my house taught me that I really enjoyed working with my hands and building things. I guess you could say taking a broken, outdated home and making it beautiful and functional again really resonated with me on a deeper level. I was lucky to leave the army with only some mild PTSD and nightmares. Hell, I had all of my limbs and was alive which is more that I can say I deserve. Staying busy helped me cope so after working towards getting my contractor’s license, I decided to start my own company, Syverson Contracting. It was still a small operation with only about seven employees including my cousin Alex, but we got by just fine.

After getting ready for the day and sipping on my cup of coffee on the porch with my German Shepard, Aika, I put my boots on and headed to the truck for the first day on a new worksite. Like usual, I called Nana on the way to work to check in. My grandparents lived about fifteen minutes away from me, but I still called to check on them every morning and make sure they’re doing alright. As I drive, Nana starts chattering all about how her friend’s granddaughter is single and I should be looking for a good woman to marry and settle down with. We’ve had this conversation umpteen times before but I can’t seem to get it through my stubborn grandmother’s head that it’s useless. I’ve been burned by too many women in the past as a young and naïve man and I just don’t want to bring someone into all of my problems. Yes, I go to therapy at the VA to help with my PTSD but it still doesn’t stop the sleepless nights and nightmares that immediately send me back to wartime in the desert. As much as I’ve always wanted a partner in life; a beautiful wife to come home to, a couple of kids and the proverbial picket fence, I just don’t see how it could be in the cards for me now. I’m too fucked up. Nana of course would never understand and I certainly don’t want to drag her into it so I just listen to her drone on and on about some chick named Susanne and then tell her that I’ve got to go.

After speaking with my team and giving instructions for the job, I went to Alex’s flatbed truck and we all started unloading the materials. The home we were working on was owned by a young couple expecting their first child. It was a simple job, replacing the flooring throughout the house, building a shed in the backyard for lawnmowers and other garden tools, and repairing some dry rotting siding near the fireplace. The great thing about my team is that I could get them started and didn’t have to micromanage them. After several hours in the walloping sun, we all broke for lunch. After cooling off and reenergizing at the local Wendy’s, we all headed back to the house to continue our work. Since I was used to being in these weather conditions, I decided to head out toward the edge of the woods in the backyard and start building the garden shed. When I went to lift up some of the plywood, I was beyond shocked to find a shaking and filthy little tan dog who appeared to be injured and terrified.

“Shit. Heya buddy, I ain’t gonna hurt you. It’s alright pal. Let me take a look atcha.”

As a true animal lover, I was immediately enraged. Someone had intentionally abused this poor defenseless animal and either abandoned it or it was able to limp off to the woods. The little male pup, couldn’t be older than a year was bleeding from four different wounds on the side of his sand colored body. The second I scooped him up, he was whining and cowering in fear.

“You’re alright little man. I’m gonna take care of ya. Let’s see if we can getcha to a vet.” I call Aika’s vet office and unfortunately there is no answer. Janet must still be taking her lunch break.

I see Alex walking outside to grab some of the flooring to bring inside and yell for him to come here.

“What’s up, Sy?”

“Just found this little guy beat to hell by the woods.”

“Jesus. What kind of bastards do that to an animal?” Alex ponders as he was looking at the injured and sick animal. 

“I’m gonna see if Dr. Robinson’s in. Hopefully I can get the little feller in today but I need you to run the site until I get back.”

“No problem, Sy. Didn’t she just have another kid? I’m not sure if she’ll be there but I know Jessica said something about them hiring a new vet so I’m sure someone will be around.”

The veterinarian’s office was only a fifteen-minute drive from the site so after giving the poor thing some water, I loaded him up and drove there.

On the ride over, he seemed to relax a bit and not shake as bad as he had been and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Oh Austin! How good to see you! Did your Aika have an appointment?”

“Hey Ms. Janet, is Dr. Robinson in? It’s not for Aika. I found this guy by the woods and he’s been hurt something awful.”

“Heavens to Betsy! Poor little angel! Elizabeth is out on maternity leave but we’ve hired a new vet. You'll like her. Let me check with her and see if she can work you in.”

“Yes ma’am.”

A few moments later, Janet scurries back and directs me to an exam room with the little guy. I guess I could have just dropped him off and went back to work but my heart just couldn’t stand it. Hell, I fought to bring back Aika from Afghanistan because of how quickly I fell in love with her and she’s been the best dog ever. I can’t imagine leaving this little guy to potentially die from his injuries without a friendly face nearby.

*Knock Knock!*

The door opens and my heart stops at the same time. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen enters while carrying a clipboard and a stethoscope. She’s a petite little thing only reaching to my shoulders with long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, and crystal blue eyes that feel like they see straight to my soul.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Emma Miller. I hear you found this little guy in the woods?”

“Uh, yes ma’am. Hello there, I’m Austin Syverson. Yeah, I uh, I found him and he looks like he’s been abused.”

She smiles brightly and shakes my hand when I introduce myself and the moment I touch her soft skin, I can hardly think straight. Why the hell do I feel so jittery? It’s just a beautiful woman Sy. Get ahold of yourself. I tell her exactly what I found and she quickly starts examining him while speaking to him in a sweet voice.

“Hi sweet boy. You poor thing! I’m so sorry someone has been treating you so horribly. We’re going to take care of you, yes we are. You’re going to be good as new! I’m going to give you some fluids because you’re dehydrated little guy. Once we get some fluids in you, I’ll try giving you some food. How about that little man?”

I can’t help but smile as she baby talks to him while inserting an IV in his tiny arm and starting him on fluids. She examines the wounds more carefully before retrieving a pair of things that look like tweezers.

“If I had to guess, I would say this guy is about 10-12 months old. I suspect these wounds on his side are from a BB gun. Would you mind holding his head? I’m going to give him some pain relief in his IV to help him relax and then try and clean the area and see if I can remove them. We’re a bit short staffed at the moment with Dr. Robinson out and two of our techs calling in sick so I’ll need your help if that’s okay?”

“Fucking BB guns.” I murmur under my breath. Damn some people are just the worst.

“I’m happy to help.” I tell her quickly and take up residence next to the puppy’s head to hold him still.

“Thank you.” She replies quietly while concentrating on rubbing some brown cleaner across each wound.

I can’t help but watch her as she focuses on removing all four bb’s and placing them into a metal bowl. She’s so effortlessly beautiful and incredibly adorable as she works on the dog who seems to be feeling so much better with the medication and fluids that he has received. She sews up each wound quickly and efficiently. The pup seems to be almost as captivated by her as I am. When she’s done, he even attempts to wag his tail for her. Dr. Miller explains that he will need a flea and tick bath before she can dress the wounds because he has several fleas on him and she doesn’t want them getting into the incisions.

“Mr. Syverson, I hate to keep you from your day. Would you want to just come back for him in a little while? I have to do an exam on a yorkie with diabetes but then I’ll bathe him on my break and get his wounds dressed.”

“Sugar?” I ask.

“I’m sorry, pardon?” She responds a bit flustered.

I smirk as I see the blush tinting her cheeks. “The yorkie. Is it named Sugar?”

“Oh! Yes! Someone you know?”

“My grandma’s neighbor, Mrs. Clayton, has a yappy little yorkie named Sugar and I believe I overheard that it has diabetes.”

“Yes, well that would be her.” She smirks back.

“I don’t mind waiting with the little guy. Is it alright if I stay and help you bathe him? Since your short staffed and all?” I ask with my most charming smile.

Her beaming grin tells me all I need to know. “Sure, Mr. Syverson. Can you give me about twenty minutes?”

“Only if you’ll call me Austin or Sy. Mr. Syverson is my pawpaw.” I say with a grin.

“Alright Austin. I’m going to leave you with some wet food on the table for this little fellow, but can I trust you to only give him small amounts slowly? We don’t know when his last meal was so we don’t want to overwhelm his belly.”

“Yes ma’am.” I mock salute at her with two fingers and she giggles when she leaves the exam room. I swear the moment she did I was a goner. I need to find a way to hear that giggle more.

“Well little guy, it looks as though we are helping each other out, huh? You ain’t the only one broken and battered.” I say as I give the dog a small plastic spoonful of wet dog food that he almost swallows hole.

“What should I call you?” I hypothesize aloud while the pup continues eating sloppily from the spoon I’m holding.

“Since Dr. Miller here patched you up, how about Miller? We can call you Mills for short. What do you think about that? I like it.”

Emma finally returns to the exam room and is happy to see that the Mills has eaten the food I gave him and kept it all down. Due to the food, medications, and fluids he received you can already tell a slight difference in his demeanor.

“Let’s get you all cleaned up, shall we?” She says while carefully picking him up and carrying him to the back of the building before pausing. “You coming, Austin?” She asks.

God, I hope I will be soon. I think before I rush over to open the exam door for her and follow her to the back.

“You know, I’m breaking rules by letting you back here so don’t make me regret it.” She says to me teasingly as she carefully sets Mills into a large stainless-steel sink and begins to bathe him with medicated shampoo.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Dr. Miller.”

“No, if I have to call you Austin, you have to call me Emma. It’s only fair.”

“Well, Emma is a beautiful name so that will be easy. If you don’t mind my asking, where are you from? We haven’t had a new vet in town since Dr. Robinson came and that was probably ten years ago.” I watch as Emma carefully removes three ticks from his fur and want to outwardly cringe. Ticks are the devil’s bug.

“I’m from Alabama. I’ve only been in Texas for about a month but just started working in the office this last week.” She tells me as she very carefully continues to clean Mills.

“What brought you all the way out here? Did your husband get transferred out here or something?”

She side eyes my question with a smirk. “Nope, just the job. No husband or kids. No boyfriend either in case that was your next question.” She remarks sarcastically.

My stomach flips with excitement even though she caught on to what I was really fishing for.

“Well, I’m certainly glad you’re here. For Mills’ health needs of course.” I add quickly while gesturing to the pup.

“Mills?”

“Yup. Short for Miller, after the doctor who’s taking care of him.”

Her cheeks blush bright red as she runs a flea comb gently through his fur. “Well aren’t you just the charmer. I’m surprised Janet didn’t warn me about you. She’s been clueing me in on pretty much the entire town.”

“Ah, good ole’ Janet. She knows there’s no need to warn you about me. She’s known me since I was in diapers so that should tell you enough about my character if she didn’t warn you off.”

“That’s good to know. So, are you planning on keeping little Mills? Or are you wanting us to adopt him out once he’s all healed?”

“Oh, I plan on keeping him if that’s alright. As long as my girl, Aika, is okay with it I’ll keep him. Can’t imagine sending him off to a stranger after what he’s already been through.”

“Well, if your girlfriend isn’t on board with keeping him just let us know and we can see about arranging a foster for him until he’s able to be put up for adoption.” She says while stepping a little further away from me.

Girlfriend? Oh dumbass, you made her think Aika is your girlfriend.

“Aika’s my German Shepard. I don’t have a wife, kids, or a girlfriend either.” I said poking fun at her sarcastic comment from earlier.

Emma grins but just continues to rinse Mills off. She notices that one of his paws looks a bit swollen but she can’t find any cuts or wounds so she thinks it may just be bruised from trying to run from his abuser.

Once we get him dried off, I hold his head again for her to clean and dress the wounds on his side and I’m dreading leaving.

“So, I’ll need to see little Mills in 3 days to check his wounds and remove the stitches. I need you to clean and redress the wounds one time a day like I’ve shown you. I’ve got his medication and antibiotics here and a couple of cans of that wet food that you fed him earlier. I recommend continuing to feed it to him slowly so that his tummy doesn’t get upset. Nobody likes waking up to a dog throwing up or having diarrhea in the house. If he does okay with that food we can discuss increasing his food intake at the next appointment. Do you have any questions, Austin?”

“Just one. Can I get your number, Emma? You know, in case I have questions about your prodigy, Little Mills, here.” I add with a smirk.

“I’m sure you have the number for the vet’s office.” She smirks.

“That I do, but I’d like yours as well, please.” I ask with my most convincing smile.

“Alright, alright. Just don’t advertise it. The last thing I need is people like Mrs. Clayton calling me after hours.” She concedes with a giggle and I can’t help my boisterous laughter at the last part.

“Nobody wants someone like Mrs. Clayton calling them all the time. That woman would talk to a wall just to hear her own voice.” I hand her my phone and she quickly types her number and I save it under “Mills’ Future Mama” and smirk to myself.

I pay and make the next appointment for Mills and then head to the local pet store for a collar, leash, dog bed, and more dog food. Luckily, Mills sleeps on the ride home and I can’t decide if he’s finally realized I’m not going to hurt him or if he’s still drowsy from the effects of the meds he received. I head home and send Alex an update that I’ll be back at the site tomorrow.

When I get home, I bring everything inside before carrying Mills over to Aika and carefully introducing him. After the initial excitement wears off, Aika heads outside to the backyard and I’m relieved that she seems to accept him. She’s always been such a good dog so hopefully I can rely on her to show our little rookie around and teach him our routines.

I go about showering and eating dinner, but I can’t seem to get my mind off Emma. I obviously want to play it cool but she has infiltrated my mind to the point where I just can’t think of anything else. I know this is a bad idea but I can't stop myself. I decide to take a picture of Mills in his little bed and text it to her.

Sy: <attached image>

Mills’ Future Mama: I’m glad to see my namesake is adjusting to his new life. I take it that his sibling accepts him?

Mills’ Future Mama: Also, you’re lucky I opened that picture text. Typically receiving a picture from an unknown number is never a good thing 😖

Sy: Sounds like your mind is in the gutter or you have some seriously unhinged acquaintances, darlin. Aika has accepted him into the pack without hesitation.

Mills’ Future Mama: More like, men are nasty and will take any opportunity to send an unsolicited dick pic to even the most unwilling recipients. Glad you found the little guy. He seems right at home.

Sy: He is. You should come visit him sometime.

Mills’ Future Mama: Why would I do that when he’ll be in my office in three days?

Sy: Maybe to see his owner?

Mills’ Future Mama: I’d imagine his daddy will be the one bringing him back to my office though?

Sy: Alright then, how about I make you some dinner at my place? Say tomorrow at 5pm?

Mills’ Future Mama: Make it 5:30 and I’ll be there. Just know I’ll be sending your information to my best friend in case you try and murder me.

Sy: What type of people were you surrounded by in Alabama? 🤨

Mills’ Future Mama: I was actually in a super safe town. Just watch too many crime shows to make careless mistakes.

Sy: Smart lady. You can tell whoever you want, darlin’. I’ve got nothing to hide and I appreciate a woman who has some self-preservation skills.

Mills’ Future Mama: Trust me, I’m very skilled at many things. 😜

Sy: Damn woman, I’m trying my best to be a gentleman here. It’s not fair to tease me.

Mills’ Future Mama: Not teasing. Just stating facts. 🙃

Sy: Tomorrow can’t get here soon enough. Here’s my address. Any food allergies?

Mills’ Future Mama: Nope! I’ll bring dessert. I’m interested to test your cooking prowess.

Sy: You’re killing me.

Mills’ Future Mama: See you tomorrow!

Part 2

Taglist: @shellyshellshell @henryownsme @caramariehurst @beck07990 @mollymal

[torukmaktoskxawng]

can u make a enemies to lovers with neteyam or jake? x fem!reader? xx!!

(Gifs not mine)

Pairing: Jake Sully/fem!reader

Summary: Y/n doesn't like being outranked by Corporal Jake Sully, and Jake doesn't like Corporal Y/n's attitude. This rivalry eventually stretches past their human existence.

Warnings: Military attitude, one-way thinking, implied brutal death, enemies to tolerated allies to lovers, alien prejudice/racism? (that one's a little tough to word I guess), swearing, etc.

Word Count: 2k+

A/N: Thank you for your patience, and sorry it took so long!

Also, Jake and Neytiri don't end up getting together and having kids in this one. I couldn't bear to do my Mama dirty like that.

~~~~~~~~~

Corporal Y/n L/n was many things. Tough, capable, determined, and loyal. The RDA was lucky to have her... at least that's what she tells people. No task was impossible and no mission was too dangerous. Y/n followed her orders down to a tee, so you could imagine the anger she felt when her loyalty was shoved aside in exchange for wheelchair-bound Corporal Jake Sully.

There's no such thing as an ex-marine, and yet Y/n has never met the next closest thing until she met Jake. Honorably discharged after the loss of his legs in Venezuela, Jake was only in Pandora for the sake of the RDA not having to waste millions of dollars on an avatar whose rider, Jake's twin, is dead. Technically, Jake shouldn't have been mingling with the war dogs at Hell's Gate and should've stuck to the scientists. But Selfridge and Quaritch had other plans and had asked Jake to go undercover as their eyes and ears among the Na'vi.

Y/n didn't think Jake deserved all the credit he had been given after he managed to insert himself with the Omatikaya, and she voiced her opinion to him, "What'd you have to do? Bat your cat eyes at them?"

Jake knew when he was being mocked, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes back at her, "They accepted me after I told them I was a warrior from a neighboring clan."

"Seriously? What clan?"

He had the gall to look bashful in front of her, the tips of his ears turning pink while muttering under his breath, "The Jarhead Clan?"

She laughed in disbelief and likely disgust, "Are you kidding me? 'They fell for that? If it's that easy, maybe Quaritch doesn't need you after all. I bet we could just walk in there claiming we're all from the Jarhead Clan."

"They're smarter than they look, and I don't see you volunteering yourself to communicate with them." The marine sassed back, his attitude getting the better of him.

"They're not worth my time," Y/n shrugged, nonchalantly, "They're clearly not smart enough to handle me if they ate up your punk ass lies."

"You don't exactly have anything better to do. Other than complaining, I guess."

She snaps her attention back to the man in the wheelchair, eyes glaring into his soul. It wasn't every day someone had the guts to match Y/n's cold exterior, and she didn't appreciate being badmouthed by the rookie who just got a lucky shot of working the same rank as her, "Watch yourself, Sully."

He smiled, the bastard, turning his chair in the direction he wanted to go, wheeling away, "I gotta head out. Unlike some folk, I actually have a mission to accomplish."

~~~

The scientists were moving out. Apparently, Dr. Augustine was spooked at the idea of Parker breathing down the neck of her operation so she's bringing her avatar team up to Site 26 in the mountains, Sully included.

Y/n was strutting down the hall and happened to catch Jake after he left the control room to let Quaritch know what was going on. She noticed a suspicious-looking smile on the marine's face and something didn't sit right with her at the sight of it. Without much thought, she held her foot out and it abruptly stops the wheelchair in its tracks. Jake peered up at her, his smile quickly fading when he realized who it was, his jaw tightening.

"You're smiling." She stated her observation out loud, gracing him with a frown to match, "It's not a good look, much less a normal look for you. Just remember whose side you're on, Sully."

How could she have possibly known what he might be thinking? She couldn't have known he was smiling at the thought of getting away, wanting to forget all about this place in exchange for seeing this world through the eyes of Neytiri.

No. There's no way she could know that. As suspicious as Y/n was, she was blind to everything Jake has experienced out there. He leans close, staring up at her with those hard, daring eyes, "I do. My side."

~~~

It bothered Y/n to learn Jake had betrayed them. Did she expect it? Obviously. So it bothered her all the more that she expected it. She could have prevented this by stopping Jake from leaving or reporting him to Quaritch, so why did she let him go?

She decides that she can fix this mistake by helping blow up Hometree and further help in the battle waiting for them in the Hallelujah Mountains.

Did she feel regret watching the magnificent tree crash down, likely killing hundreds of Na'vi in the process? Only for a moment, her mindset now on her orders to return back to Hell's Gate. Best foot forward, she manned the gun as they flew to the Tree of Souls, only to be ambushed by the Na'vi, astride direhorses, and ikran. Y/n didn't feel regret gunning down as many as she could after watching the bastards kill her friends and acquaintances, people she worked with for years and formed bonds with living on a moon so far away from home.

She was thrown from her gunship, however, before she could fully enact her revenge. As she fell to her death, she watched the battle going on above her. She watched her gunship being tossed around by the devil itself, the Great Leonopteryx, larger than any ikran she had ever seen. The beast and its rider, Toruk Makto himself, smashed Y/n's gunship against the side of one of the floating mountains, and she's forced to watch it explode in debris and flame. Her heart drops, however, when the blades of the ship came spiraling through the air and toward her falling form.

That was the last thing she remembered before everything went black.

~~~

FIFTEEN YEARS LATER...

Instead of black, she's blinded by an overly bright hospital light. Only, Y/n wasn't in a hospital and she felt like she was lying on top of a stainless steel dissection table. Disorientated and sore, Y/n focused on the voice of the doctors (were they doctors?) surrounding her field of vision. They instruct her to take it easy and flex her fingers. When she lifts her hand to do so, she's suddenly wide awake and self-aware.

Her hand was blue.

~~~

Following her resurrection came the other Recoms of Project Phoenix. Z-Dog and Wainfleet were next, then Ja, Brown, Fike, Lopez, Prager, Walker, Warren, Mansk, and Zhang. Most of them she knew back at Hell's Gate, or at the very least was acquainted with them. Finally, Quaritch came to and Y/n couldn't lie how entertaining it was to watch the colonel wake up and immediately kick in his fight or flight mode. It didn't help that Lyle thought it would be a great idea to greet Quaritch with his new ugly avatar mug. Later on, Wainfleet admitted that he already forgot about his new body and didn't think how the colonel would react, and in response, Y/n laughed and called him an idiot.

~~~

Their temporary resurrection and reunion were cut short when they arrived back on Pandora. Quaritch gets them to work immediately after receiving his orders from Ardmore and the Recoms are sent out into the wild to test out and see if the moon would react to their presence. So far, they hadn't triggered any immune response. No animal attacked them and the plant life kept still. The new and improved avatars track down the old shack where Quaritch breathed his last breaths, locating his remains and extracting the old footage from the AMP suit.

What they didn't expect to find there was a human boy, running around, acting like one of the Na'vi, apart from his breathing mask and exo-pack. He was about sixteen and clearly someone who had been left behind in the initial evacuation when the humans were driven off Pandora. When they captured him, he introduced himself as Spider Socorro, none other than Paz and Quaritch's son. But Spider wasn't very adamant at the idea of the colonel standing over him being his sperm donor.

"You're not my father! My Dad is Toruk Makto! He's on his way to save me! He knows I'm here, and he's going to kill every single one of you!"

That bit of information only enraged Quaritch even further, and Y/n couldn't exactly blame him. First, Jake betrayed his own kind, killed many humans, forced them to go home with tails tucked between their legs, and now he's raised Quaritch's son up and brainwashed him to be an animal.

The Recoms take Spider's threat to heart and secure him, keeping him tied up in the center of their circle as they wait for Ardmore to come and pick them up. It was dark and it had started to rain. They kept their backs to each other and kept their eyes peeled on the jungle line. And yet, they never saw him coming.

It was all a blur. Due to the darkness and the rain, Y/n was one second too late to realize that she had been separated from the group as the Recoms were getting picked off, one by one. There was the familiar sound of a grenade launcher being triggered before Y/n had the time to dive down and cover herself to the best of her ability. The explosion goes off somewhere nearby and her ears begin to ring, debris of dirt sprinkling down on top of her. The shouts from her team slowly die away, following the sound of Ardmore's ship picking them up. She tries catching her breath, her mind not yet realizing what had happened just as hands began to grab at her shoulders, her instincts driving her to fight or flight mode.

She kicks them away and scrambles to put a distance between herself and the stranger, lifting her AR in her arms and pointing in their direction. In front of her stood a tall Na'vi man, only he had the traits of an avatar-- a very familiar avatar.

The snarl she let out wasn't as human as she was used to. It was more feral and she tried not to let it surprise her, "Shit. Sully."

Jake Sully's eyebrows furrow at the voice, eyes frantically scanning her form. Definitely an avatar but dressed in camo and currently pointing an AR at his face. The voice sounded strangely familiar, but it wasn't until he noticed the name patch on her bulletproof vest did his eyes widen in recognition. He peered back up at her eyes, tilting his head, "L/n?"

She cursed again, rage pooling through her eyes as she gnashed her sharp teeth at him, "Traitor!"

Y/n goes to pull the trigger, but something from behind had clubbed her in the crook of her leg, forcing the limb to give in and collapse against her will. She shouts and the trigger slips, the gunfire missing Jake by an inch as he barrels forward when the moment of opportunity strikes. He wrestles the rifle out of Y/n's hands and pushes her to the ground, using the orange slap-cuffs she possessed and using them against her, restraining her hands behind her back. Y/n snarls and hisses like a wild animal caught in a trap, her ears and tail lashing violently as she's forced face down into the mud, the whole front side of her wet and cold with the rainfall still pouring like nobody's business. With her head tilted off to the side, she realized her attacker was none other than Spider with a large branch still heavy in his hands. With his captive secure, Jake stood up and stepped toward the human boy, kneeling down to meet his height and checking him over for injuries or cracks in his mask.

"You alright, kiddo?"

"Yeah," Spider breathes, smiling faintly when Jake gently knocks his knuckles against the glass of his mask affectionately. 

"Good. Let's get you home. Your sister's probably worried sick."

That was news to Y/n. From what she understood, Quaritch and Paz only had Spider, unless the colonel was getting around. Looking back, Paz could have cozied up to others, but from the few encounters Y/n had with her, she didn't seem like the type. Socorro was high maintenance. 

Still left on the cold, wet ground, Y/n continued to struggle until Sully remembered that she was there, and the bastard had the gall to smile down at her while patting Spider's shoulder proudly, "Well, son... not bad for your first catch."

"Go to Hell!" She screeched back. This had gotta be the worst night of her life.

~~~~~~~~~

Part 2? Lemme know!

Have your own request? Click here for the rules! If you wanna see more of my works, click here for the masterlist. Thank you!

[oceanlipgloss]

4.1.2023

I just finished Chapter 2. The ending was sad. The angels are brimming with hatred and blinded by it, so what they're doing is very unfair and inhumane.

But I also feel very excited to move on to Chapter 3, and Mammon is on the cover(?) of it so it's definite that MC will meet him now. I'm really looking forward to that and to meeting Bimet and Eligos, hopefully! Then again, MC didn't meet Astaroth even though he's from Gehenna, so it would make sense that she wouldn't meet all of Mammon's demons now too, which means that if she were to meet someone now, it should, by logic, be Bimet because he's the closest to Mammon. Time to see!

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

intro: something I really loved about the end of Chapter 2 was the display of Satan's kindness—he loves his subjects and cares for them, and is sad when they get hurt. I also really appreciated MC's care for him and her desire to comfort him. And Ppyong needs so many hugs.

update I: Minhyeok is so sweet <3 also, he and MC are really cute together and dammit the H-scene is so far off sob I wonder who it's gonna be this time

update II: these bouncing angels that look like buns: wow guys, you're fast but it's time to meet the Lord, baby

update III: oooooh this one is called 'the man sculpted from muscle,' so is it time to meet Mammon already? I'm so excited omfg

update IV: everyone else is asleep, meanwhile Satan is just

update V: YAYYYY HIYA but oh my he's so big HUGE and idk how to put it but there's this sweetness to his face. He's so cute lol and he looks like he would be great to hug

update VI: LMFAO Tbh I'd love to do that too ngl

update VII: UHHH??? I kinda like how warm and comfy this sounds and wow, he really said I'll be your bed simply glorious! Anyways, Mammon is making moves already, so wake up and get yo girl, Satan

update VIII: a somewhat strange thing to point out, unless it irks him (which doesn't quite make sense since he doesn't know her yet. But! If he felt attracted to her once he first saw her, that changes things a lot)

update IX: I'm going to guess that it DOES bother him

update X: ooff he's cool, he's cool <3

update XI: no comment true love can never be hidden, and he is passionate about butts, so he couldn't resist, I guess... But what actually piqued my interest is the fact that his hands are bigger than any other hands MC has seen because I love hands

update XII: so first I chose to make MC grab his butt so I can see how he reacts, but dude the description was hilarious to say the least lmao Mammon has a squishy soft butt spread the word then I chose the 'lie back down on his chest' option because it's cute dammit needless to say, things got...interesting either way

update XIII: Satan is asleep so he's technically not seeing anything, but MC getting frisky with Mammon in front of Satan's open eyes...I'm just happy he wasn't awake to see this

update XIV: okay that's actually romantic in a greedy sort of way

update XV: he seems to be optimistic but sentimental, and pretty attached to his emotions too. CUTEEE ugh

update XVI: YEAH MAMMON IN YOUR DREAMS (thank u tho, i like u)

update XVII: Ppyong and Minhyeok have the cutest dynamic plssss also Minhyeok deserves more love from MC when possible

update XVIII: I thought Minhyeok was going to use his horn in class and almost died but let's be honest, I WAS going to enjoy how awkward and hard difficult it would've been for him to keep quiet lmao sadism anyways, did he just say that MC's underwear smells nice? Listen, bro...

update XIX: boys will be boys

update XX: AAAAAAAAAAARGH I LOVE HIM

update XXI: oh god I can't deal with this it's too cute LOOK AT PPYONG PLEASE LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO SMOL AND EXCITED AND HAPPY and look at Minhyeok noooo this is too precious

update XXII: Ppyong is rooting for MC and Minhyeok oh man that's it I'm gonna die of fluff overdose and I will love every minute of it

update XXIII: Minhyeok being doubtful and unsure of himself because he thinks that MC is seeing much better things in Hell which he would seem 'ordinary' next to, and Ppyong comforting him and telling him he's beautiful and 'devilish' aka code for 'good' was an arrow to my heart

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

5.1.2024

update XXIV: it was mentioned earlier that MC beginning to see Minhyeok as a man and not just her childhood friend would have effects, so this is the beginning of it, I guess: Satan and Sitri are jealous and irritated

update XXV: lmaooo be fair, Mammon. Anyone other than Glasyalabolas would look small next to you Satan would look even smaller tho, I agree

update XXVI: okay, I really, really like Mammon. He has a very pleasant and chill personality, and he too seems to have gotten attracted to MC before he got to know for sure that she's Sulumun's dootah Solomon's descendant? That's so nice to know

update XXVII: oh my fucking—it's decided. I LOVE Bimet. He doesn't even bother to be convincing oh my God LMAO or maybe he thinks he IS being convincing or that others are idiots who would fall for it anyway I'm so happy he got introduced so early though, I was waiting for that moment lol I really liked him the moment I read his intro *looks at Belial, Eligos, Beel, Ronové, Lucifer, Glasyalabolas, Gusion, Bathin and Andrealphus* did I forget anyone?

update XXVIII: THE H-SCENE IS SO CLOSE ALREADY WTF OMG YAAAS WHO'S IT GONNA BE I have my bets on Paimon because I don't think it's logical for Mammon's to happen yet also let's hope I can pass the one battle that leads to it because this has been suspiciously easy (edit: I passed. Still suspiciously easy. It's coming for me, isn't it?)

update XXIX: no bro, I fucking ADORE him

update XXX (oooh would you look at that, an xxx): it's sweet how Bimet got emotional when he thought MC was Solomon, and it's funny that he was then like 'get lost if you don't have money, especially if you're not Solomon' lmao he's a riot

update XXXI: sexy move, hon And excuse me for my poor wording, Bimet, but don't you look scrumptious! That tongue

update XXXII: aw he sounds annoyed but he also seems like he's going to cry. I wanted to include a screenshot, but no more images fit. The heck though, I love him to bits. So, without further ado, welcome to my favourite characters club, Bimet!

But damn it, I also really liked when he told MC that she's a beggar that listens to reason. That screenshot deserved a spot in here too lol

Next up, THE H-SCENEEEEE!

[youremyheaven]

i'm a different anon but girl, i'm so sorry that happened to you. i had the same first time experience as you and i wholeheartedly agree w/ your advice. don't sleep w someone just to not be a virgin bc being one isn't even a bad thing & it's infinitely better than having to heal from such an intimate form of assault especially when it's the only sexual experience you know. personally i'm still healing from it & it seems like it will just last forever. if you don't mind me asking since i know it's a sensitive topic, is there anything in particular that has helped you heal? i'm sending you a lot of warmth & love ❤️🫂

hi love<3

thank you, i appreciate it <3 and im sending u the same love and healing✨

in some ways i am still healing from that experience even though it was almost a decade ago. more than the memory of it, its the physical and emotional repercussions it had on me that were challenging to navigate, for a long time after that i thought i was asexual, lost my libido, lost touch with my femininity and compounded by many other abusive experiences made me avoid the mirror entirely.

for me what truly changed my whole life was yoga and meditation. specifically yin yoga, women carry a lot of tension in their hips and practicing yin yoga (there are many yin yoga, hip release flow type guided videos on YT if you search for them!!) helped my body feel so loose and fluid and relaxed?? i didnt know how stressed my muscles were until i realized what true relaxation felt like. i remember those initial days of practice, i felt such a profound emotional release as well, like a weight was leaving my chest. relearning sensuality, feeling comfortable in embodying it and reframing sex and my perspective towards it has been a slow journey and some of it is easier than others. but i am doing sooo much better than i was before. meditation also really helped me feel more safe and comfortable in my body and not feel like i had to always be on the lookout for danger or assess other people's intentions. keep in mind, these are not things you can expect overnight changes from. you have to be patient and disciplined and just do it without any expectation. eventually it gets easier. also it keeps you more in tune with your body and intuition and helps with knowing what situations or people to avoid.

i have also been practicing tantric meditation and it has also helped me immensely but i think you should approach tantra after you've reached a point of healing and peace bc tantra can awaken some powerful energies and it can be a lot to handle.

taking care of myself has also helped me. its so funny how when i was struggling with my ed, body dysmorphia and numerous other issues, i did nothing to make myself feel good bc i didnt think i deserved it but by doing things (it can be as simple as applying lotion after a shower, whatever self care habits that make you feel good about yourself!!) that make me feel good, i feel good??? its like those people who say 'omg im so lazy i cant do the dishes' but the truth is you feel lazy bc you havent done the dishes so if you do the dishes you wont feel lazy. i hope this weird analogy makes sense lol. basically do things that feel good and you will feel good, it sounds really basic and almost stupid but i feel like most people wait until they've "earned" it or are "worthy" but the truth is doing it is what will make you feel like you deserve it, if u catch my drift.

anywaaayyys thats all, <333

[lavend-ler]

normaler since there's a resurgence 🩷💜💙

YYEESSS LET'S GO NORMALER!!!! I ship them very much <3

What made you ship it?

I'm taking u to a journey back to the 2012 and I just... I'm amazed how vividly I remember this

so it's 2012 and I just watched The Lorax, being enamoured by Once-ler and the fandom. scouring through the internet I saw many ships but once I saw Normaler I thought to myself "yeah....no, nope" and went abt my day. but damn didn't they just grab me, I couldn't stop thinking abt them. I remember laying in my bed and thinking "maybe it's actually a good idea?" but I still wasn't sure. and then I saw THIS fanart and I was like damn. u got me, they're in love, I was a fool not to believe it

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

I'm so happy that there's a Normaler Resurgence cause Ill be damneD they're forever to me. I've loved them for so long and I will loved them even longer

god just the,,, absolute beautiful love story there could be. of Once-ler who thinks he shouldn't be loved, that the love has to be earned every time but who yearns for it so much. and for Norma who is content with the life she has but yearns for sth different, sth more and who never realized that someone like Once-ler could steal her heart like this

but they do, they fall in love slowly and steadily, starting as the closest friends and then realizing that their love is just beyond any words they ever needed. I think what I truly love abt Normaler is how Norma is for me a grounded yet spunky person, while Once-ler is a dreamer, yet careful with his actions

u see what I mean, they better each other. with Norma giving Once-ler the home and love he needs, along with the appreciation and steadiness. while Once-ler wants to make Norma's dreams soar away and wants to make her as happy as she can be. they simply become each other's home, the culprit of a tomorrow they never knew they needed. honestly I believe they both never knew they needed each other but when love found the it was the most beautiful duet

and then the delicious angst of them during the Greed-ler years just DAMN that's good. I love the angst and I love the drama. whether they'd be engaged or married at that time, I eat that shit up so hard. they both knew how to hurt each other way too well. Norma knew she couldn't stay with a man like this, one who becomes so selfish. he's not the starryeyed man she fell for

but then the wonderful reunion after the years. when they are older, wiser and Norma is ready to forgive Once-ler. the years might have passed but their love have never withered. and it's not that the only happiness they could have was in their youth, as their happy ending was when they were both old <3

also can I just say THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!!!! the sun/moon symbolism. the fact how close to canon they are. the fact that they can have a daughter and grandson in canon. I'm a goner, I swear

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Norma is her own person and deserves her story too! and again, don't make them that toxic, they had disagreements but I believe they never abused one another. also anyone who thinks Normaler is too "vanilla" or that it's just a culprit for fangirls to project onto just......literally think to urself, why is any of this a bad thing

[silkjade]

jade, i— your post… i'm speechless… but i'm leaving my first spicy ask here in your inbox. you were supposed to be better than this, not giving into the ratio & alhaitham obsession… anyway 🤭

would you be so kind as to tell me more about their dynamic with you in between them? how would they treat you? how would you treat them? how would they stand each other's presence (if not being too busy competing which one of them can make you feel better)? (ㅅ´ ˘ `) ♡

I KNOWWWW OMG I KEEP SAYING THAT I DON'T LIKE RATIO HE IS SOOOO ANNOYING !!!!! but... but... i m waving a white flag, i m weak to his terribly annoying charms (இ﹏இ`｡) are u speechless in a good way or a bad way ahhhhahahahaha

is it terrible of me to say i want them to be mean like idk idk i'm humbling myself typing all this out but like ok normally i'm a praise girlie but dr. veritas ratio throws the entire equation out ! of ! balance ! becus ! i think ratio is soooo annoying 'n there is a not-so-charming back and forth that alhaitham does not rlly appreciate becus fun fact: just like in my ss lore, i actually did used to find alhaitham annoying too LOL so perhaps he is a little jealous cus who's this loser know-it-all coming in & inadvertently stealing all my attention like that so um.... they start off competitive but realize they have common ground conducting an experiment... becus perhaps ratio, w all his doctoral degrees, has procured an aphrodisiac and.... something something let's see how many times she can cum before passing out or whateva um i mean what

okie um.. n'sfw ramblings below the cut ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა

i think they’d get a kick out of seeing me even more flustered than usual and would be mean becus cuteness aggression……. cockwarming alhaitham while ratio makes me read his book aloud, only letting things progress if i can perfectly make it through this page… but iz hard ‘specially when haitham bucks up just for lolz so ratio must take it upon himself to educate this silly girl who— what ? can’t even give a proper blowjob ? rolling his eyes cus ugh alhaitham definitely spoils me too much so allow him teach me then … & i m suuuch a ppl pleaser, so i try my vry best, not that he gives me much of a choice anyway <.< and then they switch cus i must treat haitham too ! + ‘practice makes perfect’ or whateva

and neither of them let me cum, albeit for diff reasons: one is a bit irked at how eager i m to please someone else, whilst the other doesn’t think i deserve to just yet T^T begging ‘n begging ‘n begging until fine ! u will cum ‘n cum ‘n cum ‘n ( bye bye bye bye bye don’t look at me) ANYWAYS permission to not think — wanna be a dumb dollie between two jock nerds, just here to look pretty ‘n be folded every which way til tummie iz full of cummiez aha >.<

AND THE AFTERCARE MUST BE SUPER NICE CUS I LET THEM BE SUPER MEAN ໒꒰ྀི -᷅ ⤙ -᷄ ꒱ྀི১ better be carried into a steaming hot bath and praised to high heaven uwahhhhh

[mpregfrance]

Alright to start this ask off I'm just gonna say my interactions w/ you have genuenly been one of the funniest ive had in a long ass time. I've read ur recent post and I empathyse a lot. You seem incredibly funny and genuine. Idk your situation and your background and even your age, but I think you can and are pulling through. Things will get better even if you dont actively want them to. Im not saying this in a vague hope to make the situation you are in better. Im telling you, as a person who from the age of 14 went from therapist to therapist, somehow been on meds that dont fuckin exist yet in croatia, someone who feels trapped in the very /country/ she lives in with no means of escape, someone who is "waiting" for things to finally financially/academicaly/politicaly be better so that I can make something of my life. As it did for me, you will feel joy again in what you do, in what you have, and in what you can achieve. I think it's ok to be down, its ok to feel like "if a bus hit me tomorrow i wouldnt protest" but the thing about people is we adapt rather quickly. So putting yourself out there, going to places you are scared to and believe yourself to be an outcast from is exactly what gets you to meet people and see things that youll remember forever. And after a while the outcast will stop coming to these places, the person there will be someone who belongs. Apathy is a way of saying "fine whatever i dont even care anymore" but youll see how much you care.

I started getting ok after a full decade of *trying* and what I've always found is that for me the saying "don't take anything seriously" is no.1 rule. I get worked up, anxious and overwhelmed with so much so many times.

You may have problems with people at work with friends and whomever, but the main thing you gotta remember is *you cant change anyone but yourself*

And its not a change of personality, hair color, interests, its how much something will get to you, how willing are you to give something up thats not working out and how you will percieve something.

I have no doubt that you know all of this crap but i guess i wanted to say all of that just bc there is no greater pain for me than when i see someone feel like i did regardless of the reason or situation.

Keep on truckin and doing what u love even if its mpregfrance posting. I will always be here to send you to liking-france-jail, mwah <3

hello my sweaty angle <3 i'm sorry i'm just replying to this now. i had to sleep on it because your thoughtfulness deserves a sincere reply.

first of all - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being so kind, sweet and insightful and offering your support.

the fact that you would take the precious time out of your day to write this out for me is, in a word, unbelievable. i really appreciate you checking in, it's an incredibly caring thing to do. to be honest i'm a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of this unexpected message and i wish i knew how better to express my appreciation.

i really do love to hear that i made you laugh. i live to shitpost. i've always prided myself on my sense of humor and sometimes i feel as if it's slipping away, so it's reliving to hear i've still got it.

unfortunately i still haven't had the strength to eat. i'm heading to work in a bit. things are pretty rough right now, but when have they not been? obviously my present circumstances aren't the root cause of all my problems. in fact my life has improved since moving here.

extensive bianca lore and vulnerability under the cut, apologies in advance.

basically, in so few words, my current situation is that i'm nearly 25 and have nothing to show for it. i've lived in different cities across the US, had great jobs, apartments, friends, roommates, relationships, etc. i have done a lot of living in a short amount of time. but then, in retrospect, it feels like it stopped.

about 3 years ago i was in a very bad place mentally due to the isolation of the pandemic, and i met my husband online. in early 2022 i gave up everything, saved over $10k for the visa and moving costs, and relocated from the US to australia to live with him. our relationship itself has improved from how it used to be, but since the beginning we've had seemingly endless bad luck and financial setbacks.

last year, not long after our (very disappointing) wedding, i suffered a devastating miscarriage. ruptured ectopic, massive internal bleeding, required emergency surgery etc. not only was that traumatic emotionally, but i wasn't eligible for healthcare at the time bc of my immigration status, so we're still paying off the medical bill.

we share a house with my mother in law who is a domineering, emotionally incestuous single mom and an emotionally abusive narcissist. i don't throw that term around lightly, as so many people do these days, but i honestly believe she's devoid of empathy. she's admitted that she dislikes me and thinks i'm stupid because i don't talk much, and goes out of her way to make me feel unwelcome.

so i'm stuck in an area that feels, to me, like the middle of nowhere. i'm not homesick, i love this country. it's just that i'm not used to suburbs. i feel most comfortable in a city where there's people and places and things, neon lights and background noise and stuff to do.

i'd would be happy to live anywhere as long as it's not with her. it honestly feels like a prison sometimes. that sounds dramatic but she's cultivating an unbelievably hostile environment that causes me to feel on edge whenever she's around.

needless to say we need to move, desperately. it's our #1 priority. more than anything else i want a place of our own and eventually a family. we've been actively househunting for the better part of a year, but the rental market is catastrophically bad right now. it's not even about the money, since we're both working we can afford a decent place. it's just that it's so competitive. every showing i've attended, there's been like 30 other prospective tenants. we've been turned down from every apartment we've applied for.

on top of our living situation i have complex health issues that are just getting worse. my energy is zapped. trying to balance work work and housework leaves me with almost no free time to write.

this barely scratches the surface of why I Am The Way That I Am™. i'm not saying any of this to evoke sympathy or brag about 'having it hard'. simply trying to explain. my upbringing was abusive and dysfunctional in a number of ways. i just barely graduated high school. i never had traditional opportunities, i was raised in a way where there's basically no assumption/expectation that you'll ever be successful or fulfilled. i'm diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and bipolar 2 - haven't been able to get my proper meds in australia. i've been addicted to hard drugs and alcohol. i'm not pleasant to be around. i will probably always look like and act like the lower class, white trash girl that i am. i have spent my entire life in survival mode.

i'm always in the midst of some identity crisis or running away from something. so yeah, i've been hurt and downtrodden. i've also experienced the beautiful side of life from time to time. i've gained a breadth of knowledge and met incredible individuals who introduced me to new perspectives and i'm forever grateful for them. with the way i've lived, i'm very lucky to not be dead or incarcerated right now.

ok, pity party's over. for real this time.

you're pretty much describing exactly how i feel. you know the struggle. the part about waiting to live my life; that's precisely where i'm at. i don't necessarily have a desire to fit in, i just want to get away into somewhere that i can adjust better to.

my isolation is partially due to a lack of energy but also i don't seek out interaction because i'm afraid no one else can understand me. not because i believe i'm too 'complex' or 'damaged' to be understood. that's a load of self-pitying bullshit. it's just scary to be truly seen. or vulnerable. or genuine. bc the results of such openness are unpredictable and uncomfortable.

it's hard, but i know i have to find it within myself to take that push. what's holding me back right now is mainly my material conditions, circumstances out of my direct control. i have no doubt i'll feel at least 50% better when i stop living with this woman.

i certainly have no problem with starting over if something doesn't work for me. contrary to what i might've described, i believe i'm pretty well adjusted, self aware and rational. as is obvious i don't take many things that seriously lmao. i went from caring wayyy too much about everything, being overly emotional and sensitive, to going entirely with the flow and accepting what i can't control or predict.

also i am well aware that you can't change people, that's never been my goal lmao i've never needed someone to tell me that <3

tl;dr, thank you. so much. this really uplifted and inspired me meli, thank you so much for being so thoughtful and compassionate.

it sounds like you're also stuck between a rock and a hard place in your own environment, and i'm sorry to hear that. it's a wretched feeling but i believe you you will thrive no matter the setting, because in all seriousness, you're incredibly talented. i hope you know you should follow your dreams. hell, it looks like you already are and you're giving us the privilege of witnessing it. your art is stunning, the passion and care you put into your work is obvious. your matthew is absolutely beautiful - like his maman.

from a rabidly devoted france woobifier to the designated france hater, i'm only going to say this once but you are validated in your distaste. i understand. you gotta admit though, he is a MILF.

if one thing is certain i will never stop frussyposting. in fact right now i am thinking about france hetalia big fat juicy boobies mmmm milky squishy. i'm giving her a teensy tiny little slut waist and childbearing hips. i would give him a brazilian butt lift but he doesn't even need it!!!

if that is a crime then lock me up. please. strap on the handcuffs and throw me in the crate for naughty little freaks teeheehee >:3

be careful tho. if you keep sending me gay ass love letters like this they're gonna start shipping toxic yuri melianca even harder <3

[sketching-shark]

I main not be a tang sanzang apologist main but i sure as hell ready to square up for him at anytime

Man gets his reputation slaughtered bad n is misrepresented in fics (lmk wise)

Ill be his apologist n defending his character bc bro doesn’t deserve being misrepresented like this

(No bc why do i keep seeing post defending swk n then turned around bashing both bajie n tang sanzang—like what??? Y’all do realize he would slaughter u all against any slights towards them both😭😭😭

Heck sun wukong is the first tang sanzang apologist who stepped up(as in fight for his honor literally

Monkie Kid spoilers & complaining below so ignore or read on as you like

wegerf well anon just finished saying so but yeah chances are that if you're main exposure to the og pilgrims are from simplified and cartoony forms then it can be pretty easy to form a mostly negative opinion about them, especially following a common but often unspoken "equivalent exchange" fandom rule that if one character is going to be made better than another character has to be made worse (i.e. exactly what happened with Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque in Monkie Kid lmao). Hell as it is I've heard that even in China the multiple chapters Xiyouji dedicates to Tang Sanzang's backstory & traumas are often left out of retellings! And in many ways this too is understandable especially when you're dealing with a retelling aimed at children, given that from what happened to the monk's mother to living under the constant threat of getting devoured to being sexually assaulted numerous times...well, not many stories are going to want to even touch on the horrifying nature and aftermath of most or even any of that. But yeah at the end of the day leaving all of this out & keeping in other things like Tang Sanzang using the headband against Sun Wukong for seemingly no reason does make him a lot easier to fully demonize than he might otherwise be. But it does lead to a pretty disappointing situation where there's an overall sense that someone HAS to be bashed, vs. the much more interesting situation of each of the pilgrims having reasons, even very understandable reasons, for acting the way they do even while they are obviously very capable of hurting each other, and then slowly learning how to work together and even appreciate each other's company.

Because yeah at the end of the day anon you are so right about how the Monkey King himself becomes Tang Sanzang's #1 active apologist lmao

[luveline]

hi jade this is so very random but i justw anted you to know that i appreciate you a lot :< it must be rlly overwhelming to have such a large follower base especially when they start making very rude demands but you remain calm amidst it all and i admire that sm 😭 beyond the quality of your work i truly admire how it’s like you never tire of writing!!! u have such fresh ideas and i love seeing when you add a new character to your list even tho i have no idea who they are… sorry im just rambling at this point but i really truly do adore you and you’ve made such an impact on my life solely from your writing and kindness

ik this probably means Nothing when you receive so many kind words from your followers in a day but still i feel it had to be said… have a great day!!!

firstly I just wanna say that it doesn't mean nothing, it means everything! The shine of a compliment literally never fades and I'm so fucking lucky to be in this position and to recieve such kindness, please be assured that it means a lot to me every single time!

it was overwhelming at first, I mean it gets more overwhelming every day but in a different way? I had such a massive rush of new people last summer that i didn't know what to do and didn't know how to cope with demands being made of me nor what to do with so much positive attention! Things are much easier now because while the insane and frankly amazing (in the fullest sense of the word, I am literally amazed) support remains, I think there's been a big decrease in people trying to police me and also negatives in general. I still get hate and stuff but it gets easier to deal with because you learn how how sort it into credible criticism versus bait versus personal pref framed as something you've done wrong, if that makes sense?

I really do love writing and getting better and seeing the difference, plus I'm fortunate to have endless possibilities at my fingertips. I have "such fresh ideas"??!! I could lit kiss you that's so nice and super nice to hear😭😭😭😭 I really love getting to do this and knowing there's someone on the other side who's going to be reading what I've made and hopefully enjoy it! Plus it's an escape for me that I treasure because I'm not always very well and I don't talk about it too much here, but the impact that your kindness and the kindness of my other readers has made on my life is far from small. I can be having such a terrible terrible day and then someone tells me they liked reading a drabble I posted and I feel better because I feel like I've been able to do something for someone else !!

Im really sorry I think I've rambled too 😭 anyhow please don't think it goes unfelt for me, I feel lucky in a way I can't explain, I really can't understand the reactions I get sometimes and even hearing you say about the quality of my work is a pleasant surprise, I feel tacky saying I dont believe it but sometimes I really don't! But I hope I can keep deserving all the love and care that's sent my way ! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[moooosh]

one thing about me is i am not watching ahsoka

read more for my great concept

this is very much an au. like very much. and also. very long.

so ezra and thrawn are stranded for about a year, and they’re not just in one place, they move from planet to planet trying to get to the ascendancy. you’ve probably read it many times, they become unlikely allies and then maybe perhaps friends. ezra also finds a kyber crystal, but doesn’t build the lightsaber since something is telling him not to. either they get to the ascendancy or it gets to them but that’s where they end up for the next five years. during their year thrawn taught ezra cheunh and very much how to be a strategist and tactician. thrawn wanted them to get along, but didn’t expect such close camaraderie to come out of it. girl let’s face it, if there’s one thing ezra can do it’s make friends. and ezra was also not the only one learning here, thrawn definitely loosens up and starts understanding the rebellion and how they had so much heart. and ezra brings out something (fatherly tendencies) in thrawn, and thrawn learns to let his guard down, at least around ezra. the alliance was formed before the genuine trust was, but once they get to the ascendancy the trust is definitely there. they make a goooood team. thrawn plans and ezra carries out, improvising on the way (ar’alani and eli hate this and thrawn pretends to).

ezra stays to help the chiss with the grysks, and also to see what’s up with the navigators. it takes a while before he can spend any time with them, but the constant risking his life against the grysks does help build trust with ar’alani. on one of his missions he finds another kyber crystal and this time he does build the lightsaber, and it’s like mauls but can also break apart into two. (if you think this is over powered maybe consider that i love him and he deserves it). he pretty quickly forms a bond with one of them (the one in the art, she’s unnamed if u have any ideas tell me) and she’s not his padawan by any means, but he does train her.

anyway five years pass and he sees his work there is done, and leaves (his new home) the ascendancy with his not-padawan. he’s ecstatic to go back home, but there’s also this great fear that he won’t be needed anymore. everyone’s excited to see him and asks him about where he’s been, but he never quite tells the truth. he thinks they won’t trust him if they learn he’s been out working with one of the rebellions greatest enemies for years. and let’s face it, some rebels probably won’t trust him, so he keeps a tight lid on what happened. he’s better at hiding things now, but sometimes he’ll look up over his shoulder for advice or approval and be met with nothing, and he can never quite hide his disappointment. there’s no one he can share his sadness with either, how do you tell someone you miss (your weird uncle) your old greatest enemy (your older brother), when they’ll never really understand it. the only person who understands is his not-padawan, and you can’t really rant to a 9 year old. what people notice more, though, is how much he’s changed. he’s more serious. stands up straight during meetings, giving input that no one else would have thought of, saving the rebellion on multiple occasions. and it’s not that thrawn made him smart, he was always been smart. but he used to rely on being underestimated. and the chiss don’t appreciate that, they appreciate strength. he had to be more upfront about his strength and intelligence over there, and it carries back to the alliance. he’s sharp, wins arguments and changes minds, and hera can’t be more proud of her kid but also can’t be more confused at where he learned that. he tells her, more than others, but he leaves out the times thrawn would carry him back from fights he shouldn’t have picked, and they way he taught him how to win them next time. they also don’t get how he’s become fluent in two more languages in six years, the one he talks to that girl in and the one he curses in (sy bisti, learned it to listen in on thrawn and eli and it became one of his biggest regrets). he knows he’s back where he belongs, but it’s hard, especially when there’s some other jedi around now. he does not exactly get along with luke. luke luke is very much in awe of him, he’s always heard of this other jedi who made a great sacrifice, and just wanted to meet him. ezra knows he’s really not what luke expects, he’s not a perfect jedi at all, he’s a grey one. he tries not to be around luke so he doesn’t disappoint him, but helps him train when asked. his fighting style has also changed, become less of a lightsaber form and more of a mix of everything that influences him. the chiss techniques always get him a win, no one has a clue what he’s doing when he pulls them out. he’s also not what jacen expected either, but it a much different way. ezra’s been working with kids for five years, and jacen was not expecting an expert older brother. that’s all i’ve really got, feel free to do what ever with this, just tell me cuz i wanna see.

oh also they have great healthcare on ar’alani’s ship and that’s where ezra got his top surgery

[countlessrealities]

Hey Morty and Summer how do you feel about Chance, anyway

Unprompted asks || Always accepting !

The Smith siblings exchange a look at the question, as if to check if the other wants to go first. They have thought for that spot way too many times not to be expecting some competition whenever the chance is presented.

In this particular case, however, the matter is quickly and quietly sorted as Summer shrugs, as a way of saying that Morty can start. After all, her brother is the one who has the closest connection with chance, so it's fair for him to go ahead.

If Morty is a little surprised by Summer's quick and easy surrender, he doesn't show it. He just looks excited, even if it's to tell if it's because he gets to speak first for once or because he's looking forward to share his thoughts on Chance.

"I-I think he's great! H-He's so cool and nice and badass an-and he's always patient with me. He teaches me things, n-never get upset if I ask him to explain something again or-or if I get distracted while we're doing stuff together," the boy starts to rant, words tumbling out of his mouth a little too quickly.

Still, even if it might not seem, he's being careful and watching his tongue. The temptation to say that Chance is better company and a better mentor than Rick is bugging him from the back of his mind, but he ignores it. If he were to voice that thought, he would regret it. Not just because the scientist would most likely do something petty in retaliation, but also because it's not true.

Chance's company is more pleasant, and that's undeniable, but the bond he and Rick have just can't be topped. For better or for worse.

"W-We get along really an-and I thinks that he actually likes talking to me?" And isn't that a first. Usually people engage him in conversation only if they have no other choice. "I-I mean, I talked to him when he was Clarissa's too, b-but...I don't know. T-Talking to Chance is easier? I-I think it's because he's more...you know. A-At peace with himself and his past. C-Clarissa struggled a lot more an-and it made me wish I could do something more to help..."

His voice trails off for a moment, as his expression sobers up a little. He remembers very clearly each and every conversation he and Clarissa have shared, and he can recall just as clearly how much they cost her. However, this isn't about the gloomy past. He wants to talk about how amazing Chance is, because he deserves it, after everything he has gone through and overcome.

"H-He helped me with...he helped me figuring out some stuff an-and I really appreciate it b-because even when he was, uh, pushing me out of my comfort zone, h-he was nice about it, you know? An-And he talked it out with me, i-if I started to panic a little."

He still feels a little stupid to have made such a big deal about his romantic orientation, especially considering what his life is made of and the people in them, but he is also sure that it would have taken him much longer to make peace with it without the man supporting him.

"I-I guess it's nice to be understood? An-And wanted without second aims. B-By someone who's much smarter and better than me." After so many years or being, at most, everyone's second choice, being pick first feels good. "I-I learnt a lot of stuff from him. An-And got to show him what I-I can already do. U-Usually no one...really bothers with it, so..."

Not to mention that Clarissa / Chance have been sort of open to share a very personal trauma of theirs not to make him feel alone.

"B-But, uh, what I meant to say is...C-Chance is a wonderful person. H-He's suffered a lot, b-but he still has...a lot to give, you know? An-And he doesn't shy away from that, b-because he wants to be the one w-who decides what defines him. I-I...He's a model for me. I-I hope that, one day, I'll be at least half as brave as he is."

A small, almost shy smile curls his lips as he finishes and he fidgets in his spot, like he's expecting to be criticised or mocked for what he has said. He doesn't think that Chance himself would, of course, but he knows the rest of his family too well.

Thankfully, Summer seems to have paid little attention to his speech because, aside from the occasional eyeroll, she hasn't tried to voice her opinion on what he has said. She's obviously too focused on figuring out what she should say. That means that he'll be spared...for a few hours, at least.

"Chance is, like, fun to be around? I guess. He's more Morty's friend, he doesn't hang out with me as often." Just as Rick. She's starting to wonder what about her idiot brother gets him the attention of the coolest people of the multiverse. "But we did some stuff together. Went to the movies, gamed against each other, he carried my bags at the mall...Stuff like that."

She can see that Chance wants to be in her life, just as Clarissa has tried to be, but things are...different now. It has nothing to do with gender, it's a matter of changed priorities and behaviours.

"I'm not saying that I liked him more as Clarissa than I do now, because I know that they're, like, the same person. And I'm super happy that he found himself and that he's feeling okay with who he is. Like, about time. Morty is right, he deserves to have a good life. It's just..."

Her voice trails off again, as she tries to find the way to put her thoughts into words without sounding utterly pathetic. The last thing she wants is to come off as a whiny attention-seeking brat. Still, she is a little resentful about Chance favouring Morty, even if not as much as Rick does.

"I guess Clarissa and I just hit off better," she ends up saying, with a little shrug. "Even if Chance doesn't take is too badly when I call him 'step-grandpa'. Clarissa always got either annoyed or uncomfortable."

And, sure, Clarissa hadn't really been in a relationship with her Rick, but other Rick was her Rick too, in a way, so that still counted as Clarissa dating her grandfather.

"And then there's the whole hormone thing." She rolls her eyes. "I already have to deal with Morty jerking off everywhere in the house, Grandpa Rick, both of them, bring home his hook-ups for the night so he can fuck them in the garage...Not to mention how they are constantly all gross with each other. Then there's Dad trying to act 'progressive' and saying, like, the cringest things ever."

She almost shudders at the memory, but she manages to recover her cool quickly, as per usual.

"I really didn't need to add a horny step-grandpa to the list. He's wheezing out as many hormones as my brothers. I don't mean, like, any offence, but yikes."

{ @dynamoprotocol - mentioned }

[menalez]

hey i just wanted to say thank you for talking about your SA. i actually had a very similar experience w/ a guy i was really good friends with in high school.

he was my best friend, but i got pressured into dating him by my friends, family, his parents. (his mom guilted me into being w/ him 🙄 practically stalked me til i said yes)

he ended up abusing me for nearly 3 years.

and in that time i wrote stupid notes or letters to him making sex jokes cuz i was a KID. the lawyer we hired blamed me for his actions bc of the letters bc of he did 🤦🏻‍♀️

but even still, some weird part of me misses our friendship that we had before other people started meddling in our business. it makes me feel guilty sometimes, and other times it's relief. iunno trauma is weird.

uh but yeah. thank you for sharing, i know it's hard to talk about and be open with this sort of thing. i just wanted to say that you aren't alone as a lesbian who wrote dumb things as a kid or who missed/misses what friendship you had before your friend SA'd.

i think it's also extremely fucked up for people to judge your sexuality based on the way you tried to cope in the past, let alone now.

just know that a lot of women, myself included, really appreciate you being here c:

hey thank u for sharing ur story with me ❣️ honestly the thing that rly hurt about it looking back is it was in a v vulnerable time in my life. i rly had practically nobody. i lost almost all my friends bc i was suddenly a "whore" for getting raped. i would get these messages on all my social media accounts like "you deserved it" "you were seducing him" "haha hes living a good life and youre cutting yourself looooooooool pathetic!!". my friend group went from a lot of my school (small school but its normal for bahrain) to like ... 4 people in bahrain. one of them was that guy that had a crush on me since we were like 11. he would stand between me n my rapist and went to the principal about it so that i would have lesser proximity and was one of the only people who seemed to empathise w my situation. i felt quite indebted to him n everyone would repeatedly call me an idiot and tell me i should be with him and my mom would say she wishes he could be her son in law or w/e and at one point he started insisting that we are together despite me telling him no we are not & that i dont want to be w him. i gave up on saying no eventually n just went along with all of it. i felt like i was stupid for saying no ??? ppl kept telling me i was n i was like huh i guess i am. never said no again rly, up until the very end where i could no longer ignore it n keep putting myself thru any of that. after leaving that situation i saw how fucked up it was that there were all these obvious signs and me obviously signalling TO HIS FACE that i dont want to be w him, that im not interested in him, that it was further traumatising me n harming my mental health, and also the times where what he was doing would fall under SA....idk i felt stupid for facing one male friend taking advantage of me and then another one doing it soon after right in front of my face n i thought it was somehow different and normal and ok simply bc i wasnt getting downright threatened. but i know if someone else didnt hear my rape story n tell me "uh thats rape and thats fucked up" to begin with i wouldve also probably let that happen again n again too n not thought much about that while getting traumatised until afterwards too.

anyways... im glad that ur out of that situation. im sorry that we have some shared trauma there. shit like this is why i dont even trust "nice guys" anymore fr. i dont think that many ppl can rly understand that sort of situation and i can get how its confusing, bc it was a confusing time for me too. but idk why they think theyd know better than me about my own life either lol

[june-again]

I think definitely the world would be a better place if we got married what do you say

OKAY FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOU LOTS I think that was hopefully already clear BUT. you are so deserving of love and you're literally a ray of the prettiest most reflectiviest most beautiful ethereal light ever okay like u GLEAM AND GLOW AND LET YOUR POWER SHINE ALL AT ONCE!! DANG!! THAT'S PRETTY COOL LOVE

you also. do not have to be so hard on yourself. there are so many places to be at so many times so SLOW DOWN PLS you're doing the best u can and I!! am so proud of you for doing so!! life is hella rough but you're powering through it like a champ SO PLEASE TAKE TIME TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF BC HOLY SMOKES you've dealt with so much alone and now I am very glad you have people to help you!!! AND DEFINITELY KEEP ASKING FOR HELP THERE'S NOTHING WRONG IN DOING THAT BECAause yOU DESERVE TO BE SUPPORTED,🫶🫶🫶🕺🕺🕺

(warning talks of religion ahead 👍) and okay my life has been SO CRAZY BUT WE'RE GETTIN THRU IT??? UHHH WOWOWOW I joined praise team again after avoiding church for like six months 😭😭🫶🫶 and IT IS. DEFINITELY SO HELPFUL because even though I'm still working on it there is something so easing about knowing God's got your back do u feel me?? IM STILL WORKING A LOT ON FINDING MYSELF AFTER THE IDENTITY CRISIS OF 2021-2022 BUT IM still trying out different things and I've learned that is so totally okay !!

AAEJDRJH how about you dude?? I am still praying for you lots and I care about you sm so if you 💥 EVER need anything let me know okay I love you so much

ANYWAYS MY DUDE MAKE SURE TO DRINK A TON OF WATER AND EAT GOOD FOOD AND GET REST (emphasis on get rest sleep before 1 am bro (affectionate)) you're doing so so SO AMAZING fighting through all of your struggles and I hope you keep on fighting YOU'RE DOING SO GREAT BC LOOK AT U GO!! UR STILL ALIVE!! YELL HEAH!! 🫶🫶🕺🕺🕺🕺

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OKAY PLEASE GET REST AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE WORTH IT YOU ARE SO LOVED MWAHHHDHXA

lenn my darling... look, you've written five paragraphs worrying for me and one vaguely concerned with yourself.... DON'T BE A HYPOCRITE, OKAY?? i love to see you sharing the love you have but i hope it's coming from a place of knowing how loved you ARE. so ??? i appreciate you a ton man

the identity crises... yeees, yesssss, we been there. of course it will never quite end, but that's really what teenage years are all about. like, scientifically. we are figurin it out in adolescence.

however, even on days when you don't know who you are, on days where you can't seem to get yourself to fit into anything you thought you should be able to? your #1 identity, beyond anything else, is someone who is loved. ISNT THAT WILD. THATS WHO YOU ARE. THAT IS WHO YOU WERE MADE TO BE. YOU WERE HASHTAG MADE TO BE LOVED. and so APPRECIATE YOURSELF TOO?? OKAY?? and take lots of deep breaths and smile and gosh i know you're working yourself really hard right now!! school be like that!! but your best is enough ofc and dont ever forget that.

[honeyed-cherries]

I don't know many pro-life blogs that have their anon turned on so this is a little random but I wanted to share this - I hate the argument 'these kids will end up in the foster system (and dying is better)'. My dad grew up in the foster system (europe, not usa) - and yes, it scarred him for life, and he suffered terrible abuse and neglect he's got a lot of issues because of it. From what I know he was probably the result of marital rape and my grandma might have wanted to abort him. She admitted to regretting not aborting his older brother (also a rape baby but non marital). My grandma's life was hell and his was also very hard. It's the WHOLE 'but what about rape/the foster system/bad dads' combo.

But.

My dad also have 5 kids now, and he's grateful for us, and we're grateful to be alive. He's still in love with my mom (who was raised by a single mom so that's another box checked on the 'reasons for abortion' bingo card) after 20+ years of marriage. My siblings and I had a stable childhood and as a family we're doing pretty well compared to the average. A lot of wounds have healed. My grandma is *very* happy to have us in her life even though she couldn't be there for her son. My mom's happy to be married, even though it wasn't always easy.

We know we were blessed by God and that being as normal as we are is pretty much a miracle but it's messed up that people's mind automatically go to 'heh, better off dead than struggling.'

Hope it was somewhat uplifting! I *know* the violence and pain and generational devastation this sort of stuff brings, and I also know it can result into something worthwhile too, and saying so shouldn't be controversial.

i hate hearing the argument that someone is better off being aborted for xyz. everyone deserves the right to life and who are we to say they don’t? it’s so sadistic to hear people arguing for the death of innocent children based on things that are in no way their own fault. to me, these people are saying “i don’t care about the sanctity of life, i believe that people are only worthy of love based on the circumstances surrounding their conception or birth” which (hello! are y’all seeing this bs?) is beyond messed up. rape shouldn’t be a death sentence for what is essentially an innocent bystander. you are absolutely right-you can turn things around and break the cycle of pain.

love u anon <3 i truly appreciate you sharing this and i’m so glad everything worked out well for your family!

[citrustan]

ik others have different views abt how jk should end his friendship w yuna / how toxic yuna is and that jk should end the friendship straight away and... honestly? i appreciate how realistic you're making this friendship "break up" bc its very difficult to actually see someone who you've trusted n loved to show their true colours.

i was in a similar situation and i realised that, although i noticed how bad the person was and i was uncomfortable at times, i brushed it off bc i thought "maybe its a mistake" or they were having a bad day. all jk wants is his childhood bestie to be the ideal person he thought she was in his mind, but after seeing who she rlly is after pt 5, its gonna be a hard pill to swallow for him that yuna is actually a toxic cunt 😭

jks reaction to this situation is realistic and some people may react differently and thats okay but jk is a sensitive person who holds people dear to his heart so ofc hes gonna struggle seeing how toxic she is

yes, jk was painfully oblivious and hurt oc's feelings but im sure when he breaks off ties with yuna (or whatever he does), he will make sure to never hurt oc's feelings like that.

jk is starting to realise how BAD yuna is and for me thats like the most crucial step for when breaking off a friendship with a toxic person. once you realise that, everything will start to make sense. sorry to all the jk haters, i feel the same annoyance but i see where hes coming from 😭 and i hope we see ocs mental state improve too!! she deserves the world <33

p.s. dont feel bad about your writing. your writing skills are SO good and you always make me anticipate the next part bc im always hanging on to each word. i like how you describe the feelings of the characters to the point where i can relate to them.

and if so many people have different interpretations, i feel like that shows how good of a writer u are bc that shows their interest <333

omg thank you so much, you guys are able to explain it far better than i am tbfh,,, i need people to be a teeny tiny bit more realistic and out themselves in JK's shoes and try to BE him and not be yourself as him. You make a lot of good observations!

I hope everyone read this too!

And yes I'm absolutely thrilled this is the ground of soooo many discussions, I will always read everything you all send! I can't believe how much effort you put into responding and articulating your opinions with like sources and everything!

I think I have glazed over many things in the story (their characterization, interactions, etc.) and I'm trying to make up for it via drabbles, after the story ends so everything makes more sense than it does now. That's why I was like 'Ok I did a bad job w planning this out' which i still stand by btwbsbs, it's okay! Thank you so much either way!