#my back hurts in several places and its bothersome to rest on one side of my head

[tortademaracuya]

I feel so weak

[amorgansgal]

Light Into Darkness

RDR Rare pair Week Fanfic

Prompt: Darkness

Pairing: Arthur/Charlotte.

Warnings: Nothing major, mentions of injury/illness.

She’d always loved hearing the wind and rain of a storm. Even when she was a little girl tucked up in her bed, with her Nanny fretfully sleeping on the smaller bed in the room, Charlotte would listen to the howling gale and the torrential rain. She would sneak over to the bedroom window and watch the bright, white lightening slash through the dark night sky, while thunder roared overhead like some mighty dragon.

For all she’d heard that dragons were fearsome beasts who would gobble up whole villages and steal pretty princesses, she would often entertain herself by closing her eyes and imagining she was riding that storm dragon. The body and wings were dark, thick grey clouds, the rain it’s icy, sharp scales.

Tonight, her dragon was roaring with gusto. She even heard the shutters shaking against the wind and the rain drumming hard on the roof of the cabin. For all the comfort a storm usually brought her, for all the warmth her bed provided, she found herself wide awake.

She curled up in the blankets again, closing her eyes and willing herself to sleep, but it was like some small, bothersome gnat had made its way into her brain. No matter which side she lay on, how she fluffed her pillows, or tried to reason with herself that she had a huge number of things to do tomorrow sleep evaded her.

Finally, she got up. While the cabin was dark, her eyes had adjusted and she knew it well enough to not trip or stumble against anything. Charlotte made her way into the kitchen, debating about whether making herself a cup of tea would help soothe her back to sleep, but something about the closed door, that opened out onto the garden, called to her.

She slid back the bolt and unlocked the door, then pulled it open and stepped out onto the porch. The torrential rain thrummed heavily on the ground, a dark, silky wave of darkness swallowing up the surrounding trees. Sometimes on quiet nights she would hear the rush of the nearby river or the trains trundling along the tracks towards Bacchus Station. But right now, she couldn’t even hear the rustle of animals in the bushes or the hoot of an owl in a nearby sycamore.

As always, she felt the pull of slipping out into the garden and allowing herself to be drenched by the rain, to dance in the everlasting depth of night, the boom of thunder her music and lightening illuminating the ground beneath her feet. She had once done it as a child, or at least had tried to, until her Nanny had yanked her back indoors.

She was lucky that her father was home to tell her off, rather than her mother. Her mother would have probably given her a thwack over the thighs with a slipper and sent her off to bed without supper. Her father just gave an amused chuckle when Nanny told him what she had been up to, before sitting her opposite him and telling her that being electrocuted was a very unpleasant experience. He had seen several exhibitions on it while he had been in New York. Being hit by lightening could mean instant death.

‘So, no more dancing in the rain, my little witch.’

She had nodded fearfully, wide eyed and terrified that the lightening could snake its way into the house, find her and zap her.

Still the urge never really left her, even though eventually the sense of adulthood prevailed and she would usually just watch a storm from a safe distance. She risked placing her hand just outside the safety of the porch, the rain drizzling lightly on her fingertips. A sudden flash of lightening made her pull her hand back. For a brief moment the garden was lit up as though it were mid-morning, she could easily make out the neat rows of vegetables and herbs, the bowed heads of the flowers in the plant pots by the cabin and in the distance, coming up the road was a brown, misshapen lump of something.

‘Bear!’ her mind instantly thought with fear. But even with the rumble of thunder, that followed the bright flash of light, she heard a horse’s whinny of terror. She debated what would be the best thing to do in the short amount of time she had with the person approaching her house. There was no way she could grab her rifle and a lamp; it would have to be one or the other.

She grabbed the rifle from behind the door and nestling it snuggle against her shoulder, called out as bravely as she dared, ‘Who is it? I warn you, I am armed and won’t think twice about shooting you, if you cause me trouble!’

In the gloom, the horse ambled forward, and Charlotte placed her finger on the trigger. ‘I’ll give you to the count of three. One… two…’

But she never got to three and was instead interrupted by a low groan, as someone slipped from the saddle and landed on the ground with a low, heavy thud. She cautiously stepped a little closer, unfortunately all too aware of the tricks people could play on gullible, kind strangers.

‘Who are you?’ she called out again.

Lightening split the sky in two with a brilliant flash and she was able to see the stranger, though he was lying face first in the cold, dank mud of her garden. She could make out the brown leather jacket, a blue cotton shirt, heavy boots on his feet. His light brown hair was lank and plastered to his head.

Before she had even realised it, she was racing across the garden path and knelt down by his side, practically dragging the man into her lap and rolling him over. He let out a gasping wheeze as she did, but one of his hands lifted up, trying to cup her face.

His shirt was ripped and blood stained the material. His face was almost unrecognisable, bruises blossoming everywhere, his lips cracked and bloodied, his skin ghostly pale, eyelids closed over those sharp clear blue-green eyes that she had grown to know and love so well. He let out a few rasping breaths, then coughed, a terrifying, brutal cough that seemed to drain him of any energy he had left.

‘Trouble, ‘m trouble,’ he said, his words a scratchy whisper that could have easily been lost in the rain.

‘Arthur,’ she murmured, holding him, cradling him against her. She had so many questions screaming through her mind, ‘What happened, how did you get here, who hurt you, where have you been, why did you leave me for so long?’

Another racking cough seized his body and afterwards he let out another groan, before resting in her arms once more. ‘Can I come in?’ he muttered faintly.

She found herself laughing at the absurdity of the situation, that he would still ask permission to enter her home, even though he looked like death. He managed a wheeze and a painful smile, that looked more grimace than grin, but his fingers finally cupped her cheek and he gazed up at her as though he was glad to be there, as though he had found peace, as though he had found his way home.

[iloveyou3thousand]

what he’d been missing

Pairing: Starker Rating: Explicit Word count: 2668 A/N: This was written for the @starkerkink Kink Exchange, for @iammagicfishhook who asked for some monsterfucking. I really hope you like it!!

Tags/TWs: explicit sexual content, werewolf Tony and human Peter, werewolf sex, werewolf anatomy, belly bulge, knotting, rimming, bottom Peter

Read it on AO3 here!

—————————————————————————

It had taken them a little while, but they had finally figured it out.

Before they had gotten together, Peter had one day found out that Tony wasn’t like most people he knew. It had been entirely by accident, had happened only because Peter had been up later than usual working on a project. By chance, his extra sensitive hearing had picked up on something stalking the compound and he’d gone to investigate, only to find a large beast roaming the compound grounds.

That could have been that. The compound was in the middle of nowhere, after all, surrounded by woods that stretched for miles upon miles – the animal could have stumbled upon the building and gone to investigate.

Peter had quickly found out that the intruder hadn’t come from elsewhere, though. He’d come from within.

Weeks later, after dancing around each other for months with neither of them brave enough or confident enough to be the one to take the first real step forward, they got together with a kiss that was about as accidental as Peter finding out that Tony was a werewolf.

Tony allowed Peter to be nearby during his shifts, from that moment on. Peter had already seen him change before, had been near in the past, had seen him and approached him and gotten to know him a little better, in a sense. But now that they were together, it felt almost like it was more serious. Like being there during the full moon carried more weight than it did before.

And it did. Unbeknownst to the both of them, at least at first, the fact that Peter was there almost every time Tony shifted, changed something in the wolf’s biology. He had always responded differently to Peter, but that was only getting worse with every shift. On the outside, it didn’t appear like it had changed much, but on the inside, every time Tony shifted, he grew more and more restless to the point where even Peter started to notice it in his behavior.

Tony would always come up to Peter and push his head against the younger man’s hand for some quick affection, but that grew into a firmer push, a more demanding gesture, with Tony not leaving until he’d nearly pushed Peter to his ass and could rub himself against the other without fear of Peter getting away.

He also started grooming Peter, almost as if he were one of his own, as if he were a wolf, too. Or he would get snappy at anything and everything that could possibly pose a threat to Peter, from a little wild rabbit showing its little face at the edge of the woods to Happy’s car returning from the city to bring Pepper back and forth even just passing them by.

Peter tried not to think about it too much, but the growling and the protectiveness and the restlessness grew worse and worse every time, to the point where he just had to bring it up with Tony.

It took them a while and some help from Bruce to figure out that since getting together, Tony’s hormones had been all over the place. It’s what had been causing the change in his attitude, and the fierce protectiveness. According to the tests they’d done, Tony already viewed Peter as his true mate, even though that connection could never be truly mutual because Peter was human and he didn’t have the kind of senses to pick up on and return that.

At least it helped them in finding a solution.

Going forward, they started trying whatever they could to reassure Tony’s wolf that Peter was his and his alone, and that nothing would ever come in between them or sever the bond they had built. It seemed to work at first, with Tony calming down and resting quite peacefully with Peter during another one of his shifts, but then it came back again. And it came back with twice the force.

When it started to get potentially dangerous for Peter, they both knew that they were approaching desperate times, and thus would have to try and implement some desperate measures.

Luckily, Peter still had a little trick up his sleeve.

When he told Tony, Tony was skeptical. He was worried, for Peter, afraid of hurting him. But Peter countered wisely that if they didn’t try this as a last resort, if this didn’t work, then Tony would end up hurting Peter on accident anyway without there being anything that could stop him. That terrified Tony more than anything else.

All in all, Peter’s plan seemed like the lesser of two evils. (Actually, it didn’t seem like a bad idea at all, but Tony refused to admit that the thought of mounting Peter properly got him so riled up that he had to excuse himself every time he even so much as thought about it.)

The following full moon, they were all set.

In the hours leading up to Tony’s inevitable shift, they lay down together. Peter showered Tony in attention that made him visibly preen already, his instincts close to taking over, but the moon wasn’t quite high enough for him just yet. The younger man passed him a bottle of lube and Tony quietly reconfirmed that he was still sure about this. Peter smiled, cupped Tony’s cheek, and kissed him.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” he promised, although it didn’t do enough to soothe Tony’s anxiety. He was afraid of hurting Peter, afraid of putting his claws where he shouldn’t, or pushing him too far, or forcing him into something that he didn’t want to do. But Peter had been so reassuring, constantly validating Tony’s feelings and fears and acknowledging that it was going to be scary, but it was going to be alright. They just had to do this once to figure out how it all worked, and then they’d be good as gold.

Tony had to trust his instincts. Hopefully, his instincts would serve him right.

By the time Tony’s skin buzzed beyond discomfort and he’d slowly spread his baby open on his fingers, Peter gave him a kiss and told him to go and do what he had to. Tony’s feet could barely hit the carpet on the floor next to the bed or he’d already shifted, shaking out unruly, brown fur, and immediately catching a whiff of something sallow.

The lube.

His mind took a second to catch up, but then he whipped around, and there Peter was; lying on the bed, watching the wolf on the ground, something scared but excited in his eyes. Beyond that thick smell of artificial slick, Tony could smell Peter, could smell the arousal on him, and it was like something clicked.

This was what he’d been missing.

“Hey Tony,” Peter said softly, almost tentatively, as if he wasn’t sure if Tony’s mind had caught up with the wolf yet, but it had. Intelligent eyes rose to meet the younger man’s gaze, and Peter’s expression eased into a soft smile. Without further ado, while Tony was watching, Peter pushed himself up onto his hands and knees to put himself perfectly on display, almost teasingly.

Tony was on the bed in a flash, the mattress dipping beneath the wolf’s heavy weight. He had to find his balance first, unused to being on the bed in this form, but quickly managed when there was another task at hand.

He immediately pushed his muzzle up against Peter’s hole, slick and shiny with lube, stretched rim twitching gently under the soft puffs of air when Tony scented and snuffled. Peter giggled, and dropped his head to his forearms.

“Tickles,” he complained, but really it was only mildly bothersome because it was new, something Peter had never experienced before, and he wasn’t sure what to expect yet.

Definitely not the broad tongue that followed Tony’s huffy breaths, lapping in one long, broad stroke up Peter’s taint and across his glistening hole. Peter’s breath immediately caught in his throat and he let out a choked sound of surprise, but didn’t try to move away. Once he got past that initial oddness, it actually… It actually felt really good.

He moaned when Tony didn’t hesitate to do it again. And once more after. And yet again. Peter’s cock between his legs had already fully filled out by the time Tony changed tactic by pressing his muzzle up against Peter’s hole and pushing his tongue past the tight ring of muscle and into his body, which opened up and welcomed the intrusion like it was meant to.

Peter shuddered on the spot, cock twitching, the long tongue reaching places inside him that he wasn’t sure anyone had reached before. Not like that. Tony had sure tried, had taken him in his lap and pound into him before, and it had been an otherworldly experience, but even that didn’t compare to this.

And they had only just gotten started.

When Tony was satisfied with the job he’d done and left Peter’s hole sloppy and wet, he moved away, much to Peter’s dissatisfaction. The young man looked over his shoulder to see what Tony was doing, and caught him with his head between his legs, licking at the fiery red length that was slipping out from the sheath at Tony’s lower belly. He lapped at it as if to encourage it, to slick it up, ready to bury it into Peter’s waiting body.

Astounded by the size he’d just laid his eyes upon, Peter turned back when Tony shifted once more, keeping his eyes forward to try and help himself relax once again. Something so big would never fit inside of him. It simply couldn’t. And yet when Tony mounted him, large front paws on either side of Peter’s ribs and his large tongue lapping soothingly against the back of his neck, Peter realized he was just going to have to take it.

“Be gentle,” Peter reminded Tony almost frantically, his voice a higher pitch than usual. Tony paused for a moment, and then licked the back of his ear as if to say ‘I hear you, I’m listening, I promise’. And then Tony lined up.

Peter’s body opened up for the pointed tip of Tony’s cock like it was the easiest thing, the wolf’s saliva easing its way. It was warm, and smooth, and big, but Peter took it silently, wordlessly, without complaint, until the very beginnings of the knot that Tony had warned him about countless of times nudged up against his stretched out rim and the wolf had successfully buried all of himself inside the human.

Peter let out a shuddery sigh, relaxing slowly with the soothing little licks to the back of his neck and his hair. Grooming. Tony had been doing that for a while, and it still helped Peter relax, inexplicably. But right now he couldn’t have been more glad.

Especially when Tony started moving not long after.

And it seemed that once he got a taste of it, that cautious approach he’d started out with was thrown out the window. The first few thrusts were relatively shallow, patient, careful – but Tony sped up quickly, putting that massive strength in his hind legs to good use to force himself in and out of Peter faster, quicker, rougher. Every thrust knocked the air out of Peter’s lungs but the overwhelming pleasure that came with the quickening pace left him without the ability to breathe anyway, so it didn’t matter.

Peter grabbed at the bedsheets, the only leverage he had against the rough thrusts that almost lifted him up off his knees every time, shaking the bedframe. Tony panted into Peter’s ear, hot and humid, occasionally darting his tongue across a stray drop of sweat that gathered on the back of Peter’s neck.

The younger man was useless beneath the wolf, just trying to keep himself on his knees, speared on Tony’s cock, tossed about with the force of the thrusts. He was strong, stronger than most human beings, but he had never felt more like a ragdoll than he did while Tony was fucking into him like that.

And he liked it. God forbid, he liked it so much that he came without touching himself, without even knowing that he did, floating on endless, overwhelming waves of pleasure that every harsh thrust brought with it.

They became more ragged and irregular by the second, and Peter knew that it would soon be over. He already missed it, even though it hadn’t even ended yet. But he was in for one more surprise.

Tony’s knot had already grown to the size of a relatively small apple, sitting at the base of his cock, nudging Peter’s hole with every other thrust, just begging to be let inside. It slipped in occasionally, much to Peter’s pleasure, that sudden, extra stretch and extra couple of inches deep within him rushing him closer and closer to a second orgasm.

And when Tony finally fitted all of it inside of him, and Peter could feel it rapidly start to increase in size, tugging at his already stretched out rim – that’s what did it for him the second time around.

Peter quickly brought a hand down between his legs to stroke himself through his orgasm, moaning and keening and writhing beneath the wolf as the knot grew and grew, sealing them together to be followed up with a load buried so deep inside Peter’s body that it had the younger man feeling more bloated than he ever did before.

He pressed a hand to his stomach, panting, marveling at the feeling, and froze up when he felt the deformation on his belly. He pressed against it, and Tony above him whined, his massive cock twitching inside him and filling him with another load.

Peter smoothed his fingertips over the bulge under his skin again and again, the thought of Tony so deep inside him that it could do that nearly sending him over the edge again, but his cock was still weakly twitching from his last orgasm. Although Peter wouldn’t be surprised if he would be good to go again in seconds. Not with the enormous knot tugging at his abused rim.

The large wolf collapsed on top of Peter, and he groaned under the weight, constricting around Tony. Instantly, Peter noticed the change. He hadn’t seen Tony this sedated, this sated or happy or satisfied in a long time, not while in his wolf form. Not to mention the affection that followed, the grooming and the playfulness, all so unhurried.

Peter praised the wolf softly, reaching a hand over his shoulder to pet his head and compliment him for his behavior and his patience. They were stuck together for a while, but even after, Tony was a different wolf.

He cleaned Peter up and made sure the young man got comfortable before he lay down with him and looked up at him with those big, doe eyes full of adoration, as if their spiritual bond had just been confirmed tenfold.

And really, Peter would be lying if he didn’t…kind of feel it too.

Or maybe he was just seeing things.

“I’d say that worked, didn’t it?” Peter murmured sleepily, combing his hand through Tony’s fur. He received a lick in return, which in wolf speak must have been something agreeable. Peter was sure that if Tony had been able to speak, he would have said so too. And he would have likely suggest they go for another round.

And hell, it only took Peter a little while to recuperate from his first time taking Tony’s wolf cock. Before too long, he was already toying with the sensitive sheath on Tony’s lower belly with a mischievous grin, watching the pointed tip of his cock slip out slowly.

If Tony could have raised his brows, he absolutely would have.

But he’d be crazy if he was going to say no.

[prettyyoungtragedy]

Written in the Stars (7)

Characters: Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You’re the type of woman who is headstrong and fiercely independent. Heiress to a fortune and one of the most brilliant minds of the 21st century. Until you’re forced into witness protection. Your “Protection” turns out to be 220 pounds of dreamy, sassy, delightful Bucky Barnes. Whatever could go wrong?

Warnings: A little bit of angst if you squint but that's it. 

A/N: So this is a super soft chapter, decided to give you guys a break with all the angst and shit and just have a little soft!Bucky for a bit! Stevie makes a lovely appearance and is soft too! But I warn you, this is the last sweet chapter’ you’re getting for a while lol. The rest of it is just ANGST city! If you wanna throw me a comment or a reblog, that would be nice!  I love hearing from you guys, so scream at me in my inbox too! Ya’ll are the fucking best!

This was generously Beta’d by my beta @suz-123 who helped write this soft chapter bc she’s so soft!!! love ya

Links are being a bitch so you can find the whole fic in my WIP masterlist in my bio!

Taglist is closed, Sorry guys!

It had been six days since the assassination attempt, six days of fighting with Nick Fury over the decision to pull you from the trial, and six days of making Bucky’s life a living hell while he escorted you around because all he allowed you to do was go to the lab for a few hours at a time and then back to the safe house and the tower gym.

You felt like a prisoner on death row and on the sixth day the news broke that you had withdrawn from the trial and it was splashed across every newspaper and website, evening news bulletin in town.

‘Key witness in the trial for Hydra war criminal withdraws’ - New York Post

‘Hydra scientist to walk free after key witness withdraws from testifying.’ - NY Times

‘Key witness fails the justice system as she withdraws from trial letting Hydra scientist walk free for his crimes.’ - New York Daily News

The worst was watching the pompous asshole on the news degrade you and your accomplishments, with his misogynistic and sexist take on why you’d quit the trial.

“Of course she would quit the trial, she is testifying against one of the most brilliant minds of our generation, she had no chance of winning a case against such a great man. She knew this, and so did the prosecution, losing their key witness is the something even the best prosecution can’t go on with. But she’s a high society princess, she didn’t think this through, she wanted her few minutes of fame and she got it. I’m sure some billionaire will come along and teach her-”

The TV suddenly switched off and you whirled around annoyedly to see who had turned it off. Bucky set the remote down on the nearby table and leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms.

“I was watching that,” You snapped,

“It’s bullshit,” He replied coolly,

“Don’t care, turn it back on.”

“You don’t need to watch that, it’s not worth seeing.”

“No, but it’s what people think of me now because all of you made an executive decision about my life for me!”

“For your benefit,”

“How Bucky, tell me how is this to my benefit? They are dragging my name through the mud and I can’t do anything about it.”

“You know the truth, what’s it matter if they have something to say about it. Leave it be.”

“You don’t fucking get it!”

“Then enlighten me,”

“You don’t get it because you’ve been called a monster your entire existence, I, on the other hand, used to be someone and I mattered!” The moment the words left your mouth you regretted them, you immediately stopped talking, your hand flew to your mouth gasping slightly at how harsh you had been.

Bucky’s face goes blank and he stands taller letting his arms drop to his side and shrugged before he spoke,

“I thought you were better than that,”

Then without another word he turned around and walked out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

“You fucking idiot.” You muttered to yourself, sighing at how quickly that escalated and how harshly you had spoken to him. You definitely owed him an apology for that one, it was the ultimate low blow.

~~~

Bucky barged into the gun range, anger ripping through him like a torpedo. Your words ringing true in his mind, again and again, all the way down here. He is seething, why the fuck does he let you get to him so much, and why does he care so much that you think he’s a monster.

There are a few trainees about, and Natasha who is currently running drills with them. Her gaze flits to him for a second, concern in her eyes before she goes back to the recruit loading the Baretta in front of her.

Bucky pays no heed to the people around him, he needs to shoot something or he's going to explode. Grabbing the nearest Glock he sees, Bucky loads the target on the pulley and slams the remote dragging it back a couple meters before he raised the gun and squeezed the trigger.

The loud sound goes off twelve times as he rapid fires the entire chamber at the target managing to hit every spot he is intending too. Of course, he does, he’s the world's greatest assassin, although Natasha begs to differ.

Frustrations still running through him, Bucky releases the empty clip and slams another one into place, before raising the gun again. He pulled the trigger in quick succession not bothering to change the target, he does this three more times before the target is practically littered with holes in it.

Natasha watched this display for a moment before she sighed and told the rest of the recruits to leave. Clearly, something was wrong and she needed to tend to it, she placed the gun in her hands back onto the metal table and walked over to where Bucky was.

“Wanna talk?” She asked interrupting his last shot at the target. At first Bucky doesn’t respond, instead, he dropped the gun onto the table with a clang and slammed his hands beside it. A minute goes by before he spoke.

“What do you want, Nat?” He asked, voice gruff and annoyed.

“Tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit James, speak to me.”

“There is nothing wrong, would you drop it.”

“I’m going to keep asking until you talk to me and you know how annoying I can be,”

Bucky sighed deeply and stood straight before turning around to face Natasha. She leaned against the wall nearby, watching him with a concerned frown on her face.

“Why are you so bothersome?” He chuckled, and she gave him a smirk, shrugging.

“You know me, I like knowing everything, so spill it.”

He hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words into what he was feeling, the emotion running through him and just how much you affected him without him even realizing.

“I am too invested.” He said simply, his blue eyes meeting her green ones, “And I’m scared it’s going to be like last time,”

Bucky doesn’t have to say anything more for Natasha to understand what he meant she of all people knew exactly what Bucky was implying and it hurt her heart that he still thought about that, even though it was all those years ago.

Some wounds never heal, she thought.

“James, that’s in the past,” Natasha said,

“Doesn’t mean history can’t repeat itself,” He retorted,

“No, but it doesn’t mean it will. you and I were doomed from day one as much as it hurts to admit. You have to stop living in the past or it’s going to haunt the life you live now and you will forever be a shadow of the man you could be.”

“Easier said than done,”

Natasha smiled softly at him, making her way over to him. She placed a hand on his cheek, a sweet gesture of affection between the two former lovers, two different people in a different time, a time long since past but a memory that still lingered occasionally.

“It’s not a job anymore, is it?” Natasha asked softly, and Bucky held his breath for a moment. The question was loaded, and the answer feels like a shotgun ready to go off inside him.

Exhaling deeply, Bucky lets his shoulders drop and he shakes his head, closing his eyes.

“No...no its not.”

~~~

The rain splattered down against the massive windows, lightning flashing across the skyline and dark clouds blanket the night sky. Darkness engulfs the city but the bright New York skyline casts a glow across its horizon.

You stood at the window idly staring out at the raindrops that pelted down against the glass, eyes occasionally flitting to the flashes of lightning that struck down. It was quiet, far too quiet for a Saturday night, or so it felt that way.

Bucky hadn’t come back to see you at all today, not since this morning when you snapped at him and said those harsh things. You didn’t blame him, you were an ass.

Sam had come and collected you to take you back to the apartment, and you were escorted by Sam and Steve from the tower back to the Manhattan apartment that was currently your home. Steve said that Bucky would be here later, he had some things to take care of and that you’d be safe in the house with the security system on.

They bid you a good night and turned on the system before leaving you alone in the large apartment.

At first, it was nice to be alone for a moment, you took a long hot bath trying to rid yourself of the tension and strain of the last couple of days then changed into a comfortable pair of silk pajamas before flipping through the Netflix selection for a while but finding nothing to watch.

You walked around the apartment several times out of boredom realizing that having Bucky around you all the time provided you with someone to talk to whenever you wanted to, and you suddenly realized just how lonely you were without him.

Your mind flashed back to earlier that day when you’d called him a monster, and guilt built up inside you. It was in the heat of the moment that you had let that word slip out but the way his entire demeanor changed when you’d said it and you hated yourself for that.

As you stood at the window, thinking about Bucky and what an ass you’d been to him all these months that he had been your protection, you came to the realization that the man was a goddamn saint for putting up with your shit.

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you hadn’t heard Bucky come in, he set his keys down on the coffee table and frowned at you standing at the window.

He called your name once but you didn’t respond at first then he moved towards you and touched your shoulder calling your name and it startled you.

In your state you assumed it was an intruder and screamed loudly, whirling around and throwing a fist at his face. Bucky had foreseen this happening and easily dodged the attack, staring at you wide-eyed.

“Bucky! Fucking hell!”You exclaimed your heart thundering in your chest from the fright you’d just received.

“Geez,” He said arching an eyebrow at you, “That was some punch,”

“Sorry, you just scared the ever living fuck out of me,” You sighed rubbing your face tiredly,

Bucky nodded, then raised his hand showing you the brown paper bag he carried.

“Is that from Butter?” You asked incredulously, unsure what to make of the fact that he had just brought you dinner from your favorite restaurant.

“Hungry?”

“Fucking starving.”

The two of you sat in the living room, Bucky sat on the floor in front of the coffee table leaning back against one of the couches, the dinner he’d brought from Butter in front of him and his eyes focused on the TV.

He had bought all your favorites from Butter, wild Salmon, oysters, Gnocchi Mac, and Cheese and even dessert, raspberry beignets. Bucky didn’t say anything as the two of you sat down in the living room to eat, you sat on the couch he leaned against quietly eating your dinner while Bucky picked something to watch on Netflix.

He settled on an animated cartoon show called Rick and Morty, it was crass and loud but you watched him enjoy it for some reason.

You glanced down at Bucky from where you sat, eyes roaming over his side profile for a moment. You hadn’t noticed before what long eyelashes he had because his long hair was always falling into his eyes, and the stubble on his jaw had grown a little more, you notice how he bit his lower lip every few minutes then rang his tongue over it sort of like a habit of concentration.

You also notice he isn’t wearing black but grey, instead. A pair of dark blue jeans, a grey t-shirt, and a grey bomber jacket. He looked so good in that damn grey jacket and you found yourself wondering if he had a girlfriend or if he didn’t how many women he had on retainer just waiting for him to fuck them.

What the fuck are you doing?!, You chastised yourself as your mind betrayed you and thoughts of what Bucky must look like naked flooded your mind. You quickly looked away from him and back to the TV, squeezing your eyes shut you mentally screamed at yourself for having such thoughts.

“You okay?” Bucky’s voice jolts you from those dirty thoughts and your eyes flew open, and you look down at him sitting on the floor.

“Oh yeah yeah I am fine,” You stuttered quickly, feeling heat flood your face.

“We can change the show if you are bored,” He offered gesturing towards the TV with that metal arm of his, and you found yourself wanting to touch it.

“No, No it’s fine. Excuse me,” You said getting off the couch and practically running to the nearest bathroom.

Once inside you locked the door behind you and went to stand in front of the sink, leaning your palms on the cool marble of the counter you took a deep breath. You looked up at yourself in the mirror and shook your head at yourself,

“Get your fucking shit together,” You softly chastised yourself, “Do not get involved with the help!”

But your mind doesn’t want to listen as the thought of Bucky’s soft looking lips on yours entered your mind and you groaned, grinding the heel of your palm against your eyes.

Sighing you opened the faucet and splashed some cold water on your face, trying to compose yourself before you patted your face dry and exited the bathroom again.

As you walked to the kitchen where Bucky was currently clearing away the plates from dinner, you thought about apologizing for what you had said earlier. He doesn’t look at you at first, he moves almost methodically as he placed the plates in the sink and began to wash them.

Without thinking twice, you moved to stand beside him at the sink and grabbed the dishtowel from the counter, before taking one of the wet clean plates from his hand. Bucky looked at your with a surprised look but quickly wiped the look off his face.

The two of you worked in companionable silence until the dishes were dried and packed away. When you are done, you leaned against the counter and regarded him for a moment. He took a seat at the island counter and pulled out his phone, you watch him furiously text someone for a moment before you spoke.

“Bucky,” You said

“Yes?” He doesn’t look up from his phone,

“I should apologize,” You said softly and he seemed to freeze for a moment and then set his phone down looking up at you.

“For?” Bucky asked cautiously,

“What I said earlier today, I didn’t mean it that way and it was unkind.”

Bucky was quiet for a moment before he nodded slowly, “I get it, trust me I do. What you’re doing, it’s not easy but there’s a right way to go about this and then there’s a smart way,”

“I know,” You sighed and moved to take a seat opposite him. You tiredly ran your hand across your face, thinking about what the media and everyone else had been saying about you and it bothered you so much.

“I know you want to put that asshole behind bars, and believe me when I say I want nothing more than to help you put him there, but you saying you don’t care if you live through this or not is the type of shit that’s going to make you reckless and I don’t get paid if you get reckless,” Bucky said, a joking tone to his voice,

You chuckled darkly at his comment, he had a point, of course, he did. Bucky thought smart, that’s why he was where he is today.

“So what do I do?” You asked softly, your eyes meeting his.

“For starters, you can stop watching the news and reading the shit posted online about you,” he replied, “Stop letting your emotions run the show and lay low. Let me protect you for god's sake and trust that Fury and Steve will come up with a plan, they want to nail these Hydra fuckers as much as you do.”

“Easier said than done,” You muttered,

“It’s easy if you know what they’re saying isn’t true. Trust me, when I came back to join the Avengers you should have read the shit that was said about it, it took a whole year before anyone looked at me as any kind of hero, not that I am. But if I’d let all that get to me, I wouldn’t be here today.”

You realized that Bucky was right. He of all people understood what you were going through because he was Hydra and managed to escape that life and seemingly walk out the other side fine. He knew what you were going through no matter how much you fought him on that, and a small part of you was grateful for him.

“I know I don’t say this often enough but you’re a pretty decent guy,” You said,

“Holy shit, was that...a compliment?” Bucky feigned shock and laughed when you flipped him off across the table.

“Don’t get used to it, you're still a colossal pain in my ass,”

“Ditto,”

“But seriously Bucky, thank you.”

“Always here to help,” He flashed a dazzling smile at you, and you almost fell out your chair because of it.

That goddamn smile of his was a fucking weapon.

~~~

‘Doctor Werner Reinhardt cleared of all charges and released on bail after key witness in prosecution testimony quits trial,’ - NY Times

Your hands trembled as you held the tablet in your hand and read through that morning’s news. You should have expected this, in fact, you were waiting for this to happen yet it still felt like a knife to the heart when your eyes moved through the words on the screen.

Of course, he was going to walk, your testimony was the only thing holding the prosecution's case together and with you pulling out it meant everything fell apart for them. But it wasn’t just the fact that he was free, no, it meant that they had won and you knew what was going to happen next.

The smug picture that was attached to the article made you want to throw up. Your heart was suddenly beating erratically in your chest and you felt clammy all over. The tablet clattered into the counter as it slipped from your hands, stumbling backward you gasped for breath and felt bile rising in your throat.

“FRIDAY?” You gasped

“I’m here,” The AI responded immediately,

“Where’s Bucky?”

“Sergeant Barnes left this morning for the tower, should I alert him that you need him?”

“No, who's my protection detail?”

“Captain Rogers is walking in as we speak,”

As if on cue, Steve walked into the kitchen to find you have a full-on panic attack. To your dismay, of course, he had to walk in just when you whirled around and hurled your breakfast out into the sink.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Steve said quickly making his way over to where you keeled over the sink and placed a comforting hand on your back, “What’s wrong?”

You couldn’t answer him just yet as your stomach twisted again and you heaved again, gripping the edge of the sink as you did so.

A quick survey of the kitchen by Steve and his eyes came to rest on the tablet on the counter, his keen eyes see the headline of the article on the brightly lit screen and he realizes what’s wrong.

“Deep breaths,” Steve says softly beside you, running his hand comfortingly on your back. You pushed open the faucet and the running water slightly calms you down before taking several deep breaths.

“I’m sorry,” You groaned wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You feel mortified that Steve had walked in on your hurling your guts out in the kitchen sink, how classy.

“You don’t have to apologize to me,” He replied sympathetically, Steve moved to grab a paper towel off the counter nearby and handed it to you, which you gratefully accepted.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning,” You lied, “I haven’t been feeling great,”

Steve knows you’re lying, he can see it all over your face but he accepts your lie and just nodded understandingly. “Would you like Doctor Cho to give you a once over?” He offered,

“No no, I’m just…” You took a deep breath trying to calm your nerves, “I’m fine, Steve. Thank you.”

Steve gives you a soft smile, “Well, I’m here if you need anything,”

“Where’s Bucky?”

“He had a meeting this morning, so I’m stepping in.”

“Are Arcas, Achilles and that other beef head ever going to come back? I liked having them around to look at,”

Steve laughed heartily and shook his head. “Unfortunately, for now, they are on another assignment, so you’re stuck with Sam, Bucky and me,”

“Well, at least you’re pretty to look at,”

“Yeah well, you know, Uhhh, yeah thanks,”

You watch with amusement as Steve blushed at your comment and tried to unsuccessfully accept it before excusing himself to the living room. You spent a few minutes in the kitchen gathering yourself before you headed off to the showers to get dressed and get your day started.

~~~

It was a rainy day in New York City, dark clouds hung low over the skyline, thunder rumbled across the city and the smell of an oncoming thunderstorm blew through the air. Bucky sat in the front seat of blacked out Audi that was parked on the curb.

He chewed thoughtfully on the skin on his thumb, a bad habit he’d picked up whenever something was puzzling him. He was looking down at the file in his lap, eyes running through the information again and again.

The file contained every bit of information they had on the trial, and the doctor who had just been released on bail and information on the three agents he’d assigned to protect you.

Bucky couldn’t help the gnawing feeling inside him that he’d missed something and that’s why there had been an assassination attempt on your life in broad daylight. It was eating him up inside that he couldn’t figure out how that package had gotten to your lab, and how the agents sent to kill you knew the exact route he would take you on and worst of all, they knew exactly how many people to send to deal with them.

‘What am I missing?’ He thought to himself, the frown on his face deepening.

He felt the presence approaching the car before they even knocked on the window. Bucky looked up to see Steve and Sam walking you down the steps of your lab towards the car, you were laughing at something Sam was saying.

No doubt he was hitting on you. Bucky smiled slightly at how pretty you looked today, but then again he thought you looked pretty every day. Natasha’s words suddenly ringing in his mind,

It’s not just a job anymore.

Shutting the file and putting it in the glove compartment quickly, Bucky got out of the car and took a deep breath before shoving all irrational thoughts of you out of his mind. He needed to remain focused on the task at hand, he was here to protect you and nothing more, he can’t have his emotions clouding his judgment.

“Well here’s where we leave you,” Bucky hears Steve say as you stopped in front of the car,

“Enjoy the rest of your day with Sergeant fuckwit,” Sam said giving you a charming smile, Bucky rolled his eyes at this.

Fucking Wilson.

You laughed, “I can try, he’s not as fun as you though.”

“Yeah Bucky is all work and no play,” Sam winked at you, “Makes for a tedious companion.”

“Okay, I’ve had enough of you. Goodbye,” Bucky cuts in as you laughed at Sam’s comment again.

Steve and Sam say goodbye to you as Bucky opened the car door for you and waits for you to get in. Once the two of you are in the car, you turn to say hello to him.

“Hey,” You said, your day suddenly getting a whole lot better now that you were with him. You’d thought he was avoiding you or something since he hadn’t been around much the last couple of days and had stuck you with Sam and Steve. Not that you didn’t enjoy their company, but a small part of you missed seeing Bucky every day.

“Hey,” he smiled at you,

The sound of his voice makes your heart skip a beat, and a smile appears on your face.

Bucky Barnes was the best part of this protection detail. You were so fucked.

[serendipitykpop]

are you awake?

Pairing: zhou yixuan x reader

Summary: “Are you awake?”

The clock struck nine in the little abode shared by two partners. Yixuan rose to the sound of birds chirping outside, and the morning sun shining its rays down on the world. He let out a yawn as he sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. Glancing at the figure beside him, he couldn’t help but smile.

There you were, sleeping soundly with soft snores escaping through your lips. One arm draped over his waist, and the other tucked into your chest. Your legs intertwined with his, preventing him from getting up anymore. You really wanted to keep him in bed all day, huh?

Yixuan softly chuckled. His heart soared with glee, and love for the person he held so dear to him. Then, there was the feeling of home when you were by his side.

He leaned down, and placed a sweet kiss on your cheek. He pulled away to find your lips in a pout, and your eyebrows quirked together. Were you unsatisfied with the kiss even in your slumber? Giving in, he gave your lips a peck before deciding to go before he really didn’t want to leave you.

Gently, he pushed your limbs off of him to get up. He slowly rose from bed, tucking you in to keep the warmth. Knowing you though, you were most likely going to kick it off later, but it was best to be safe than sorry.

Right when he pushed himself away from the bed, a hand caught onto his wrist. Instead of being surprised, he chuckled. He turned towards you to find you awake. As you sat up, your hair poked every which way, and your pout turned into a frown. You didn’t look the slightest bit happy to be awake this early. After all, you had a late night.

Pushing down a stray piece of hair, he spoke in a gentle voice. “What has made you unhappy, my love?”

“You were going to leave without waking me up.”

He rested his hand on your head, and messed up your hair even more, which made you whine.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up. I just thought I could let you sleep in.”

You waved your hand. “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

“My love, you’re exhausted. You’ve got dark circles under your eyes, you need more rest, and to take care of yourself more.”

“I am taking care of myself, Yixuan!” You nodded, frowning at the fact that he didn’t believe you. He laughed, giving in. “And I’m fine, okay?”

You fumbled out from under your covers, and climbed out of bed. He watched, amused, when you nearly fall face first onto the floor because your ankle was caught.

“Why are you insisting to get up at this time, my love?” He hummed, pulling your cheeks out as you frowned at through half-lidded eyes.

“Because I want to spend time with you. I miss you.”

Well, when you put it that way, who was he to resist you?

He smiled. “Very well. Let’s go brush our teeth, and I’ll make breakfast.”

“Oo, can we have pancakes?” You gasped, then giggling, and hugging onto his arm. He smiled fondly at you, guiding you to the bathroom.

“Is that what you want, then I’ll make it.”

“Yixuan.” You stopped him just before entering the bathroom. You spun him around to look at you, and bit your lip. “You are truly the one for me.”

He rolled his eyes, and laughed, shaking his head.

“And you’re the only one for me.” He kissed your forehead, then shooed you downstairs.

After watching you struggle with brushing your teeth because of how exhausted you were, Yixuan took over. You couldn’t help the tired smile as you looked at him through the mirror.

Over the years, he had put up with so much for you. Even though, he had to do things like this, and even more bothersome tasks, he never seemed to complain. In fact, he looked more than pleased to do them for you.

Going downstairs, you split ways. Yixuan went to the kitchen while you went to the kitchen table. You sat backwards on your chair, your chin on your folded hands on top of the chair. You watched your dear partner skillfully move about in the kitchen, a smile on your lips. You could get used to his view for the rest of your life.

Without realizing it, you were starting to doze off. Your head nearly rolled down the chair several times, making you jerk awake. You would shake your head, and try to concentrate on his back. But you were too tired to keep that up.

The clinking of the plates was what woke you up. You looked around, and found a meal fit for royalty laid out before you. Yixuan smiled at you, taking the seat beside you.

“Zhou Yixuan, you have outdone yourself yet again.” You pointed your fork at him to which he pushed away from the both of you to your plate. “Everything looks so good.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. I mean look at everything. Nothing is burnt, or frozen. It’s perfect.”

He blushed behind his cup of coffee.

“Feed me?” You nervously laughed. You were still in a dazed state, you weren’t sure if you could use utensils without hurting yourself.

Without a single complaint, Yixuan fed you a forkful of pancakes. Spoiled. He kept feeding you more and more until you came to the point of getting full. But it was too good to let there be any leftovers. You put your hand up to stop him, and tried eating yourself.

A mix of being tired, and on the brink of a food coma was not ideal. Your eating pace was getting slower as the minutes pass by. From beside you, he hid his amused smile behind his mug.

You being like this meant Yixuan could do whatever he wanted to you. Hm, what to do? So many things, and one opportunity.

Then, a smile touched his lips as he shook his head, and chuckled. He couldn’t do anything liking pranking you in this state. That would be too mean of him.

He poked your cheek to make sure you were still alive, and well. He got a groan as a response. You were close to being done, and crawling back to bed. That was probably what you were doing to do once he left the house.

“My love,” He hummed.

“Mm?”

“Are you full?”

“So full.”

“Do you want to go back to bed now?”

“I do. I’m so glad I have the day off today.”

“You should’ve stayed in bed if you were so tired.”

You shook your head.

“Stubborn,” He said, pinching your nose. You let out a whine before he let go.

“Are you awake?”

You stared at him, thinking about it.

“No.”

He laughed. Your chewing slowed down, your fork fell to the plate, and you look like you just wanted to crawl into bed. You also could barely comprehend anything that was going on right now. It was such a precious sight to see.

“Back to bed then, my love.”

“Mm, okay.” You raised your arms for him to pick you up.

Hooking his arms under your knees, and around your back, he lifted you into his arms. You found it to be a pleasant surprise, and gave him a smile. You rested your head against his chest, and closed your eyes to listen to his heartbeat before he went. It had such a calming effect on you.

Gently laying you on the bed, he tucked you in once more. He leaned down, and captured your lips in a kiss, then regretfully pulled away. You reached out from the covers for his hand, and gave it a squeeze.

“Come back to me as soon as possible, okay? I’m in some need of cuddles.”

“I will. I wouldn’t want to make you feel lonely.”

“That’s right, or else you shall face my wrath!”

The two of you giggled.

“Have a lovely day, Yixuan.”

“You as well, my love.”

[everlastingcaptainswan]

Loyalty Comes At a Price (4/4)

Enchanted Forest No Curse AU

summary: The King and Queen are dead and the kingdom has fallen to the Evil Queen. Emma and her brother, Leo barely made it out alive and now Emma has to turn to mercenaries to regain her throne and quickly learns everything has a price.

notes: Hope you guys have enjoyed this story! thanks for reading.

FF       Ao3

Chapter Four: A Happy Beginning 

Queen Emma of Misthaven paces her throne room waiting for a certain charming mercenary to visit her for his reward. The reward she promised him for helping her avenge her parents’ deaths by killing the Evil Queen who tried to take the throne in the process. A reward that he had worked hard for over these long few weeks. At the final battle he pulled out all the stops for her, called in favors for her, killed for her. Hell, he offered to go after the Dark One for her. Now she owes him a pretty penny and after looking over the Kingdom’s treasury she realizes why her parents were so vulnerable to the Evil Queen’s attack. They had little money and didn’t wish to tax their people to death. Instead they scaled back on the number of guards protecting the castle that horrid night. Lancelot had warned her the treasury was low, but she didn’t know it was this low. Even though Emma took all of the Evil Queen’s riches and put that toward repairing the castle and surrounding villages from the final battle. Emma doesn’t have enough to pay Killian or his captains, sure there is enough gold to pay his men, but it can’t be enough for all they’ve done. God, one of her first acts as Queen to Misthaven will be to grovel to the mercenary who got her on the throne.

The guards announce his arrival and Emma takes her rightful place on the throne, her back straight and head held high. All her money had gone to her people and to actually having enough guards to protect her and Leo, especially after his injury in the final battle. He was the only family she had left; she had to protect him at all costs. She won’t make her parent’s mistakes.

The doors swing wide open and Commander Killian Jones strides into the throne room in his fighting leathers with his sword strapped to his waist. No matter the situation Killian always looked like he was ready to fight anyone at any moment. Emma has never seen in him in anything more casual. She once asked him why he never did, and he told her that he always liked to be prepared.

Killian drops to one knee and bows his head before her, “Your Majesty,” he greets her. The guards shut the doors, leaving the two alone.

“Commander,” she nods as he stands to his full height.

“The throne, it suits you. All of our hard work seems to have paid of splendidly,” he smirks. She smiles sadly.

“It would seem so, however that is not why I brought you here today,” she says with all the regality she can muster, and Killian raises an eyebrow. It feels wrong to sit on this throne, that once belonged to her parents and tell him she doesn’t have what she offered him, what she promised.

“Why did you bring me here, Your Majesty?” Killian asks and Emma stands, quickly closing the space between them with a few steps.

“Killian, I have nothing to pay you with,” the queen tells him, “I lied. I thought- after I took the throne, I would be able to compensate you, so It would be fine, but I have nothing-”

Killian breathes heavily out through his nose “Emma, you really think I couldn’t figure that out for myself, after you’ve put me out of my way to avoid bribing anyone?” His anger bubbles to the surface, clear by his break in protocol in calling her by her given name. He only ever called her Emma in private, never wanting to give the impression of anything indecent between them. Despite the fact that half of her court called her Emma.

“What?” says Emma, snapping her jaw off of the floor “I thought-”

“You think I’m here for money? After all this?” Killian says closing the existing gap between them, his arm wrapping around her waist.

“I-” she stutters due to their proximity; they haven’t been this close since the night before the final battle in his tent.

“I don’t know what that night meant to you, but I meant everything I whispered into your ear. I would follow you to the ends of this world. My sword, my men are yours, Emma,” he whispers. Her hands were against his chest, the leather soft beneath her hands. How could he know she was thinking of that night?

“I have nothing-” he stops her with a finger to her lips.

“Emma, I have no interest in gold or jewels. I don’t seek payment from you. I’ve never met a royal who wasn’t corrupt, so their cause was never worthy enough for me to pledge my sword. Your cause is a worthy one. I’ll protect you until my dying day. At this point you’ll have to send me away to get rid of me. Not to mention you’ve stolen my heart, so my sword and heart are yours if you’ll have me,” he tells her, his piercing blue eyes searching her vibrant green ones. He hasn’t sought her out since that night in his tent, she thought he wasn’t interested. That perhaps he just wanted one night from her, perhaps with the possibility of death on horizon he needed to feel alive. It hurt to accept that, but then she had a kingdom to fix and she had about twenty other things to worry about.

“How could I have stolen your heart when you already have mine?” she says, unable to form more coherent thoughts. He blinks a few times.

“What?” he asks, confused now more than ever. He thought that night in his tent was a fluke of nature. He was convinced he imagined it until that next day when she’d barely look at him when they were alone.  

She shakes her head before placing her lips on his, tentatively at first, but she surges forward her arms wrapping around the back of his neck. Their lips glide across each other, one of his hands on her low back and the other tangled in her hair. Gods, he never wants this end. Being in her arms is something he wasn’t sure would happen. He was convinced she’d laugh in his face when he said his heart was hers. Killian has never been so happy to be completely wrong about something. They pull apart and Emma rests her head on his shoulder. Killian savors this moment of having her in his arms. Her eyes catch his.

“I thought since you never came to me after that night, that perhaps well you wanted nothing more from me,” she blushes, and he sighs.

“Oh no, My Queen. Between the final battle, Leo’s injury, your coronation, and rebuilding your kingdom that perhaps you were too busy for matters of the heart. Foolish of me, I assure you it won’t happen again,” he smirks. She smiles and Killian swears he will do everything in his power to keep it on her face. He kisses her softly and she swears she melts in his arms.

Unfortunately, her next appointment arrives, and Killian has to leave, and Emma has to somehow look presentable. Before he leaves her Killian whispers a promise to find her later. The promise is what allows her to push through the day. It seems that one thing after another needs to be dealt with and she just can’t get away. Her patience grows shorter and shorter throughout the bothersome day.

Finally, long after the sun has set Emma collapses with a sigh into the plush armchair in her private study, a study that used to be shared by her mother and father. She can still faintly smell her father’s scent in the fabric of the armchair.

A knock at the door breaks her from her reverie and really all she wants is to be a lone with Killian, it better not be Lance behind that door. She clears her throat before uttering, “come in.” When the door swings wide she’s met with the stormy blue eyes of her mercenary. Emma releases a sigh she didn’t know she was holding. Killian simply lifts his eyebrow and the door shuts behind him.

“I’m just glad it’s you and not anyone else,” she tells him as he approaches her at the side of her armchair.

“As I’ve seen you’ve had quite the busy day,” he nods, reaching down to take her hand in his. Slowly he brings it up to his lips pressing a kiss into it. A faint blush and tentative smile crosses her face.

“You saw my day?” she asks intrigued. Killian nervously scratches just behind his ear.

“Ah well yes. I made several attempts to see you once more, but I’m afraid I could never catch you alone,” he tells her, blushing now as well. Emma stands and takes his face in her hands before kissing him softly. She’s never felt this way about any man before and she now knows why her parents insisted she marry for love because without a doubt she did love this man. He made her heart beat faster with his gaze alone. Now his hands were roaming over her body and gods she never wanted him to stop. Her hands are on him too, in his hair, over his chest, clutching his back. They move until her backside touches the desk and without a word Killian pushes her on to the desk. Immediately her legs move to wrap around his waist, and she gasps when she feels how hard he’s become underneath her. She pulls away her eyes flicking open to meet his almost black eyes, full of desire. They don’t need words to communicate what comes next.

Killian hastily pushes his pants halfway down his legs before she pushes him into the chair. His eyes wide with wonder as she takes him in her hand, pumping up and down slowly. He hisses at her contact, “Emma, please.” His hand searches underneath her simple gown and he finds her folds slick with want.

“All for me, love?” he asks her with a sly smile.

“Yes, all for you, only you Killian,” she cries out as his thumb finds her clit. Her hand loosens its grip on his cock.

“Good. Have you been thinking of me? About what I would do? About how I can make you feel?” His voice husky and demanding, making her want him even more.

“Yes, I’ve thought of you all day,” she whimpers as he slips a finger inside her. Emma has to grip the back of the armchair for support fearful her legs won’t support her. She takes him back in hand pumping him harder and faster than before. His ministrations on her come to halt, like he can’t think when she touches him. Quickly shifting positions, Emma pushes up her skirts and slides down over him, enveloping his cock. Both of them moan in pleasure. Once she takes in every inch of him, she begins to move. Killian unties the laces at the front of her dress, so he can gain access to her breasts.

“Emma,” he moans, rolling her nipple between his fingers.

“Killian don’t… stop,” she says breathless. He meets her thrust for thrust loving the feel of being inside her, of hearing all the sounds spilling from her mouth. There is a brief pause in her movements, and he takes the opportunity to switch positions, wanting to be as deep inside of her as possible. Killian holds onto her tightly while he stands, he slips out of her. He looks into her deep green eyes, surprise and arousal there.

“Do you trust me?” he asks her, and she nods, not sure she could find her voice in this moment if she wanted to. He sets Emma on her feet.

“Turn around, lay down on the desk, and grab the edge,” he whispers, his breath brushing against the shell of her ear. A shiver goes down her spine as she lies with her chest flat on the desk, her hands gripping the edge of the desk. Killian places both hands on her hips before sliding into her, from this position the angle is completely different and marvelous. Emma can feel him so deep inside her, “Killian,” she practically whines.

“Yes?” he smirks.

“Move!” she practically growls, search for some kind of friction. He draws back before slamming into her. She cries out, practically seeing stars. He begins a steady rhythm and Emma completely understands why he wanted this position here, splayed out on the desk. The fast pace exactly what she needs after today. Killian pulls her back to the edge of the desk his fingers finding her clit, moving furiously. Emma cries out his name as she falls over the edge her walls clamping down on his cock. A few sloppy thrusts later he follows her, practically collapsing on top of her.

After they both recover Killian carefully removes himself from her, Emma practically whimpering at the loss. He can see his seed spilling out of her and he can’t deny how much he loves the sight. He pulls his pants back up all the way before he helps Emma to stand. She adjusts her skirts before taking his hand again.

“You know I was actually planning on us talking and making grand sweeping gestures, but…” he trails off shaking his head.

“But what?” she asks, curious.

“That kiss distracted me from my plan,” he says taking her in his arms again.

“You didn’t seem to be complaining,” she chuckles.

“With the love of my life in my arms, how could I?” he chuckles before realizing just what exactly he said to her. Emma goes stiff in his arms.

“You love me?” she asks him, in complete wonder. His hand comes to cup her cheek and she leans into his touch.

“With all my heart, Emma,” he tells her. Her eyes glisten slightly as a smile blooms on her face.

“I love you too,” she says never taking her gaze off of him even for a moment. He pulls her in for earth shattering kiss and they can’t help but to get lost each other for a few minutes. They pull apart both breathing heavily and gripping tightly to one another.

“A bed. We need a bed,” she says breathless, her forehead leaning against hers.

“Aye, we do. Lead the way, my Queen,” he says, his voice raspy. Their hands intertwined. No one dares to say a word when Emma leads Killian to her chambers. His belongings are sent to her room the next day and no one says a word then either. Although the subject of Killian comes up over the next couple of weeks as Emma and her council attempt to rebuild the Kingdom. Killian has been sitting in with her on these meetings over the last couple of weeks, but mysteriously today he is nowhere to be seen.

“What of Killian’s title, Emma?” Lancelot asks her. Something only to be described as cold rage settles in the pit of her stomach.

“Is that why he isn’t present today because you wished to discuss him?” Emma snaps. These past weeks have been hard on all of them, but Lancelot acts like a father with hers gone and a queen can’t be seen having someone else making decisions for her. She thought she had made this clear when they were fighting for the kingdom, but clearly not.

“There has been some unrest between with his men. I sent him to settle it, whether or not he knows it he’s a natural born leader,” Lancelot glares are her, “which brings me back to my original question. What would you like his title to be? Prince Consort?” The question hangs in the room and no one else dares to even make a noise.

“No, of course not. He should be General of my army,” Emma states clearly. Leo lets out a chuckle from beside her. Emma chances a glance at her younger brother.

“You always did like a challenge.” Leo shakes his head.

“We’ll table this discussion for the next council session when Killian is present,” Lancelot says, his voice stern. Emma has known him long enough to know he is surprised by her action and looking for a way to hide his shock.

“How it should’ve been done in the first place,” Emma comments before the council moves on.

“The wedding, have you given thought to planning it?” Lancelot asks her. Emma glances down to the emerald that now sits on her left hand. Killian had asked for Leo’s help when he picks the ring and her brother did not disappoint. The night they had to flee the castle after their parent’s death, Granny had retrieved Snow’s engagement ring and hid it in the kitchen. The Evil Queen hadn’t been able to get her hands on it there and therefore it remained safe. Once they were in the castle once more Granny gave the ring to Leo. Emma strongly suspects that Killian asked for Emma’s hand from Leo, but neither would confirm her suspicions. Two nights ago, Killian had taken Emma on a moonlit horse ride out to a nearby lake where he got on one knee and presented the ring to her, asking her to marry him. She began to cry when she realized it was her mother’s and said of course she’d marry him.

“No, I’ve been more focused on our people at the moment,” she bristles.

“Maybe you should. A royal wedding would bring people in from far and wide, might give them some hope during rebuilding, bring in business to those who need it,” Lancelot shrugs.

“I’ll give it some thought over the next few days,” Emma nods. Dreading the thought of having to plan a royal wedding, she could barely stand going to balls and other royal weddings and now she’ll have to plan her own. She’d rather be in battle again, much easier than wedding planning. If it were up to her, they would be wed in front of the council and whomever Killian wished to invite. Something simple.

The meeting drones on Emma getting more agitated with Lancelot’s meddling by the minute. When the council meeting is over everyone files out aside from her, Leo, and Lancelot. The door slams shut, and Emma stands from her seat at the round table.

“How dare you undermine me like that!” Emma practically hisses at Lancelot.

“The topic had to be discussed, Emma. The man cannot simply be your husband. You are the Queen!” He raises his voice.

“I am aware of my title. Are you aware of yours?” she snaps and Lancelot reels back as though he’s been slapped. Leo steps between them.

“Emma, that was a low blow. We don’t pull rank,” Leo says coolly to her.

“Leo, what do you think he is trying to do to Killian? He’s trying to make sure his rank doesn’t advance more than it has to. You’re worried he wants to be King correct?” Emma says her head snapping to Lancelot.

“Of course, I am! We worked hard to get you on the throne I won’t let him take it from you,” Lancelot finally shouts. Emma’s jaw drops.

“Take it? Lance, that’s ridiculous. Killian loves Emma, he doesn’t want the throne.” Leo looks stunned.

“I was sworn to protect you two and I will do that no matter how much you despise me for it,” he tells them anger radiating off of him.

“You are not my father, your approval is not needed or wanted in this regard. Killian has no aspirations for the throne. If you had bothered to ask me in private and not ambush me in such a manner, I would’ve told you as much. Killian and I have discussed the matter of him being king. Believe me when I say he doesn’t want it,” she says coolly.

“Greed and power have motivated h-” Lancelot begins.

“Get out, Lance before you say something you’ll regret,” Leo says harshly. This takes Emma by surprise because Leo is the second born, he’s always been carefree and charming. He didn’t have the weight of the crown on his shoulders. He’s fiercely loyal, but never harsh. Maybe the battles changed him more than she thought.

Lancelot bows to them before storming out and when the door shuts Emma composure finally drops. A single tear rolls down her cheek before she wipes it away.

“Thank you, Leo,” she mumbles, and he turns toward her.

“Anytime. He was out of line. Not only was he insulting you, but me,” Emma is perplexed by this and her brother continues on, “I told Killian he had my blessing to marry you. I know you’re the Queen and it’s unnecessary, but it’s tradition. Lance said those things and if he thinks I would let you marry someone like that is a new low.” Leo is now pacing around the council chambers due to his frustration.

“I knew you gave it to him, despite refusal of the fact from both of you. Lancelot was completely out of line, he’s not our father and should stop acting like it,” she snaps. The doors swing open again and Killian strides in, his eyes with a slightly panicked look.

“My Queen, Leo,” he greets them, “Granny told me that the council meeting should not have been missed.”

“Of course, she told you that. She’ll tell you anything,” Emma grumbles as Killian approaches.

“It’s not my fault Widow Lucas is charmed by me,” he smirks before kissing Emma’s cheek, “What did I miss?” Emma tenses, which Killian notices and Leo gives her a look that screams tell-him-now. Emma explains the meeting and Lancelot’s alarming behavior. Killian’s mood sours quickly.

“Perhaps I should go have a word with your advisor, he clearly has some issues with me,” Killian sighs. Emma grasps his hand in hers.

“It’s not necessary,” Emma shakes her head.

“It might be, Lance might be trying to slip into a father role,” Leo shrugs.

“We had a father and I’m a grown woman fully capable of making decisions regarding my life,” Emma says crossing her arms. Leo flinches at mention of their father.  

“No one doubts you,” Leo tells her, and Emma rolls her eyes, “He did bring up a good point… what do you want your title to be?” Leo asks Killian who looks surprised by this question.

“I hadn’t given it much thought. I wasn’t aware that I would need one,” Killian says nervously scratching his ear.

“You could be Prince Consort,” Leo offers and Emma scoffs.

“My Queen, you don’t seem thrilled by that title. What does a Prince Consort do?” Killian says his gaze passing between the siblings.

“Nothing essentially, to stand next to me and look pretty,” Emma scoffs. Leo looks like he’s about to argue her point, but then shuts his mouth and nods in agreement.

“I already do that,” Killian says with his usual swagger, “What title do you think would be more appropriate, love?”

“General of my army. It would be a waste to put you anywhere else,” Emma says plainly. Killian looks to be in shock.

“You’d make me your general? Are you sure?” he asks, placing a hand on her shoulder. Emma can see the doubt in his eyes.

“Only if you want it,” she says, “I think you’ll get bored with anything else and not to mention it would be a shame to waste your military mind.”

“Of course, I bloody want to. I told you before my sword is yours, My Queen. I thought perhaps you’d use someone from your parent’s reign,” he tells her.

“Their general and a few of their advisors were killed the night of Regina’s siege on the castle,” Leo points out.

“Emma, wherever you need me I’ll gladly go,” Killian tells her. Emma slides her hand into his and nods.

“It’s settled then, General of Misthaven’s Army.”

“Are you actually considering plans for a wedding or were you just planning on eloping?” Leo asks, casually and this catches Killian’s attention.

“We’ve been engaged for two whole days, sorry I haven’t given thought to planning yet and you know eloping isn’t sounding bad right now,” Emma rolls her eyes.

“We can’t elope,” Killian looks at her concerned, “You’re the Queen people will expect to see your wedding.” Emma sighs knowing he’s right and Leo just chuckles.

“You know I would plan it for you if you bothered to ask,” Leo raises an eyebrow. Emma’s gaze meets her brother’s.

“You want to plan it?” she asks, surprised.

“Unlike you, I enjoy a good ball with plenty of people, wine, and food. That’s all a royal wedding is, anyway, it’s starts with a ceremony and turns into a ball. Anyway, I helped mom plan the last five of your birthday balls, I know what you like,” Leo points out. Emma considers it. Leo did always take after their mother more than she did. With his dark hair and soft smile, he often looked like her too. He was much better with a ball than Emma was. It would only make sense he could plan a ball like their mother. The only problem with the treasury.

“I’m not sure we should have one to begin with,” Emma sighs, looking at Killian. He knows why they might not be able to have one in the first place, lack of money never helped anything. Killian wraps an arm around her shoulders and brings her close, he could always read her like an open book.

“Ah you mean our less than full treasury,” Leo sighs and Emma confirms.

“If I find a way to do it for little cost will you let me?” He asks her and Emma is immediately suspicious.

“As long as I approve the cost,” Emma says sternly.

“Fine,” he smiles, “You won’t regret this,” he calls out as he leaves the council room.

“Why do I have the feeling that isn’t entirely true?” Emma asks, glaring after her brother. Killian pulls her in his arms and brushes his lips across her temple.

“I have an advisor to see,” she sighs, taking comfort in this moment in his arms.

“Do you want me there?” he asked, his shoulders tensing the same way they did before battle. She shook her head.

“This might seem like it’s about you, but it’s not. It’s between him and I,” she says before kissing his cheek. He smiles.

“Of course, Emma. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done.” She catches his gaze as she walks out, and her heart skips a beat.

Emma finds Lance in his office and he springs to his feet when she enters.

“Do we have a problem?” Emma asks him with a glare.

“You don’t know his intentions. The crown, the kingdom must be protected,” Lance glares back at her.

“No, I know his intentions. The crown is safe. He’s a warrior, not a politician. This is about more than that. For some reason you seem to think I need you to be my father. I don’t, I had one. He’s dead,” Emma says sharply. Lancelot flinches at her harsh words.

“I’m well aware of that. You saw the night of the siege I was able to reach your parents. Your father was barely holding on, all while still clutching your mother, who was already dead. With his last breath he asked me to watch out for you, to protect you and your brother. You may not like it, but that’s what I’m doing,” he tells her, tears pooling in his eyes. Lance was one of her parents most trusted friends. He helped them when the Evil Queen was terrorizing the kingdom when Emma was younger, he even officiated their wedding. Lance must miss them just as much as her and Leo did.

“I didn’t know that,” Emma wipes away a stray tear, “Lance, I am Queen and twenty-four years of age. I don’t need a father; I need an advisor. I appreciate and value your advice, but if you ever manipulate my future husband and I again I’ll find a new advisor.”

“I understand completely, Your Majesty. Your parents would be proud to see the woman, the queen you’ve become,” he says softly.

“Thank you. My parent’s and I fought about who I should marry many times, you know. I thought I should marry to strengthen the kingdom, but they insisted I marry for love. They wanted me to have what they did. I wish they were here to see that I have chosen someone I love. If you want to know more about Killian and his intentions, you could just ask him. He’s not shy,” Emma shrugs. Lancelot just grunts and she rolls her eyes.

“Do you believe it is true love between you and him? Like it was for your parents,” Lance asks her, curious.

“I don’t know if it is, but I know it is love. I’ll let you get back to your work,” she nods, and he takes his seat once again, “If it helps any, he pledged his sword to me before he proposed,” Emma comments before leaving, knowing that sometimes actions are more important than words.

Emma walks quickly back to her chambers, all the emotions from her conversation with Lance hitting her in waves. She dismisses all her servants before allowing herself to collapse on the floor, tears streaming down her face.

Before the siege, before the war the plan was for Snow to step down when Emma became twenty-six years of age. Her mother wanted to be at her coronation, to be by her daughter’s side while she adjusted to being queen. Now she could never have that. The Evil Queen took that from her. Despite seeking vengeance for her parent’s death and killing the Evil Queen she couldn’t get back what she lost. She missed her parent’s advice and sparing in the courtyard with her father. Emma missed everything about them. She had been preparing to be queen her whole life, but she was supposed to have the support of her parents. They were supposed to be on the council with her. Now, it was just her.

Her door swings open and Killian strides through. When he spots her, he rushes to her side and kneels before her.

“My love, what happened? Do I need to have words with Lancelot?” Killian asks concern written across his face. Emma shakes her head and tries to stop crying long enough to talk. It takes a minute or two, but Killian patiently waits for her.

“They’re gone, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to be here,” Emma manages to get out, tears still streaming down her face. Killian looks confused, but then the realization dawns on his face and he pulls her into his arms. His hand moves up and down her back and she buries her face into his chest, her tears rolling off his fighting leathers.

“Oh Emma, I’m so sorry. I wish I could ease your pain. Losing family is the worst pain there is,” he whispers into her hair. He wraps her up in his arms and carries her into bed. He holds her in his arms for a long time, her grief hitting her long after the fact. When people come knocking about her next appointments Killian leaves her in bed and sends them all away. Telling them the queen is feeling unwell today. When news gets around to Leo, he storms through the door to see what is wrong. When he spots a puffy eyed Emma curled up in Killian’s arms, he stops looking worried and instead sadness crossing his face. Emma speaks for the first time in hours.

“They’re gone, Leo. How am I supposed to do this without them?” she asks him, her voice nasally from crying. Leo perches himself on the edge of the bed.

“Ems, you’re not alone. You have Killian and I. They are gone and they were supposed to help you through this, but they can’t. They raised you to be queen, you’re more prepared for this than you can ever imagine,” Leo tells her.

“Love, he’s right,” Killian says before pressing a kiss into the top of her head.

“It doesn’t feel like it,” she shakes her head.

“No, I’m sure it doesn’t, but you have people who care about you behind you and the people love you,” Leo reminds her. She nods, even though she still feels slightly hopeless.

“You know that’s all mom and dad had too. They had no parents to lean on, just what their parents taught them. If they can do this you certainly can,” Leo encourages her. She leaves the comfort of Killian’s arms to jump into Leo’s. He grunts at the impact, but holds his sister for a few minutes when they part, he tells her that he’ll take over her appointments for the rest of the day before leaving. Emma curls up in Killian’s lap his hand running through her hair, which lulls her into sleep.

Somewhere around midnight Emma wakes with her stomach growling. Killian kisses her softly before rushing down to fetch them some bread and cheese. They eat in silence when he returns until inevitably their soft touches turn into something else and the food is forgotten.  

When Leo asks to discuss her wedding the next day Emma just internally groans. This is possibly the last thing she wants to talk about, especially when people are hungry, and houses were destroyed by the Evil Queen and her Black Knights. Emma is still trying to convince Killian to elope with her, but he keeps telling her no.

Leo finally tracks her down in her office and intends to make her listen to what he has to say.

“Have you been avoiding me today?” he asks with a lifted eyebrow.

“What gave you that impression?” she asks evading his question, not quite meeting his gaze.

“You quite literally ran from me earlier,” he chuckles. Damn, she really thought he hadn’t seen her.

“It’s not you I just hate party planning,” she grumbles.

“I’m well aware, but I just need approval for these plans,” he says sternly, annoyed with his sisters’ antics.

“I know, but I’d rather this be private. I want to focus on our people, not me,” she sighs.

“Emma, the people want to see you happy. They know you’re working night and day to rebuild. They know the sacrifices you’ve made,” he tells her sincerely.

“I know,” she sighs, “Alright, tell me about your plan, most importantly the cost.” Emma sits in her armchair, having to suppress a smile at the memory of her and Killian in the chair.

Leo pulls out several lists of what they will need and a proposed guest list. Emma looks over it and it is surprisingly reasonable. However, many items are missing from the list.

“What about flowers, food, and wine? There’s a lot missing from list,” she says lifting her head to raise an eyebrow at her brother. She was surprised he could forget wine.

“Many vendors wished to donate what is not listed. I insisted we would pay for it, but the people want to thank you for saving the kingdom. Not to mention they will make money off all of our visitors,” he tells her.

“Try and pay them anyway, I don’t want to take advantage of our people,” she mumbles glancing over the list.

“Of course, but you know they won’t take it,” he tells her.

“I know, but it’s worth a try,” she responds.

“I know you are eager to get married, but I need at least two months to plan this properly and give the dignitaries and royalty to respond accordingly,” he says cautiously.

“Fine,” Emma says, suppressing an eye roll, “do I have a million dress fittings to attend?”

“Not a million, but a few yes, you’re so dramatic. Actually, you have one now, so move it we have places to be,” Leo says ushering her out of her chair. Emma groans, but gets up. In her chambers their seamstress, Lydia who has been making clothes for them since they were babes. Lydia stands at barely five feet tall with bright red curls with a few strands of grey scattered throughout, showing her old age. The women is petite, but carries herself as someone who could kill you if you crossed her.

     “My dear, did you seriously think I would not be your first appointment? Please your dress will be what everyone will be talking about for the whole season. Now, I’ll measure then we’ll talk about what you want,” she says with a curt nod. Emma nods knowing better than to argue with Lydia. The time passes rather quickly and painlessly, much to Emma’s surprise.

     “Don’t worry your commander will have many appointments with me as well, you two will be the best dressed couple throughout all the realms,” Lydia says with a smirk. Her teasing tone makes Emma smile.

     Besides dress fittings wedding planning is a fairly easy for Emma, mostly because Leo does everything and if she is absolutely needed somewhere (which is rare) he lets her know. As the days pass on however she gets more irritated. Finally, one night as they are getting ready for bed Killian finally has enough, “Emma, what’s wrong?” he inquires after another round her muttering to herself. From her place in front of her vanity her head snaps toward him, concern etched over his face.

     “Do you not want to get married now? Because we can wait until you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere, love,” he says softly, hoping beyond hope he’s wrong about her cold feet.

“What?” she says her heart skipping a beat. Killian is at her side in an instant.

“I know our engagement was quick, maybe too quick. I just thought we were ready,” he says a hand cupping her cheek. She stands quickly both of her hands lying flat on his chest.

“We are ready! Killian, I’m not questioning us, waiting any longer frankly would make this worse. I want the bullshit of royal wedding behind us. I don’t want to look at another seating arrangement or flowers or suffer through yet another dress fitting. If I had it my way we would be married tonight, fuck the politics,” she sighs resting her head against his shoulder. He releases a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank god. I thought you finally realized you are far too good for me,” he says, holding her tighter.

“Killian, never. You’re mine just as I’m yours,” she says pressing a brief kiss onto his lips. She rests her forehead against his. He pulls back quickly, his eyes wide.

“You know we could do it tonight,” he says with a knowing smirk. Realization dawning over Emma, “What? Elope?”

“Not necessarily, but get married here, in the dead of night. You, me, your brother so he doesn’t murder us for getting married without him and then have the royal wedding for all the political bullshit,” he explains.

“My parents did have two weddings, we could too,” she smiles.

“Aye, maybe it just runs in the family,” he smirks.  

“Lancelot can marry us, I’ll get him, you go get Leo,” she tells him. Killian nods, kissing her forehead and they dress quickly before heading their separate ways.

In under an hour the four of them are assembled in the throne room. Leo mumbling about how this is ridiculous to do in the middle of night when they get married in two weeks. Lancelot just has a knowing smile on his face as if he’s seen this before because he has with her parents. Leo stands as a witness to their secret ceremony. Their vows are personal, much more than they will be for the royal wedding. Their hands clasped tightly together.

“Killian, I know I can be difficult at times, some might say stubborn, but you always seem to know the right thing to say to me. You’ve always seen me through the mask of royalty, which is rare. You’re a kind, loyal man who I love with all my heart. I accepted when I was young that I would never find my true love because I thought I would be married off for an alliance, but my parents insisted that I wait, perhaps they knew you were out there waiting for me. I wish they could be here to see this, to see the wonderful man I’m marrying,” Emma says a tear slipping down her cheek when she mentions her parents.

“Emma, for the longest time I was roaming around fighting battles for royals never finding someone who was worthy of my loyalty. I believe in trust, but not blind trust. Then you came into my life and my gods your beauty swept me away and then you spoke and there was a fire in you that I had never seen before. Your kindness and fierce devotion to your people made me fall for you and made me want to pledge my sword to you. I had given up on love a long time ago, but you turned my world upside down and proved me oh so wrong. I couldn’t be happier to be wrong. I will love you for the rest of my days,” Killian tells her, his eyes glistening. Leo shakes his head, tears spilling down his cheeks. Lancelot has to compose himself.

“By the power vested in me by Her Majesty I declare you two husband and wife,” he says steadily and Leo claps, “You my kiss the bride.” Killian pulls Emma into his arms, kissing as if for the first time. When they part Emma is rather breathless and clutches him tightly. Lancelot and Leo congratulate the couple before they all return to bed. Killian insists on carrying her across the threshold before laying her in their bed. They don’t get to sleep until the early morning hours, Killian claiming they won’t have another wedding night with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Emma just shakes her head before kissing him soundly.

The next two weeks ago by with much less irritation on Emma’s end. None of these frivolous things are keeping her from marrying the love of her life. The only aspect of this that does not get easier is the dress fittings it’s the three days before the wedding and Emma has to worry about other royalty coming tomorrow and now there is a dress emergency.

“Lydia,” Emma says panic raising in her voice, “It doesn’t fit.” Lydia whips around the screen finding Emma with two assistants unable to button up the dress. Emma feels a wave of nausea wash over her. Lydia points at the one of the girls, “Get her a bucket she’s not puking on this dress.” The assistant runs out and quickly returns with a basin.

“Lydia, I am not puking. I’m just nervous with the everything going on,” Emma says waving a hand around her.

“Cold feet?” Lydia asks eyeballing her.

“No! I love Killian. It’s about dealing with all the other royalty arriving tomorrow,” she sighs the nausea subsiding.

“Good because you’re having that commander’s baby,” Lydia says offhandedly. Emma gasps before yanking the basin from the young girl’s hand, her breakfast coming back up. Once she finishes and is handed a cloth to clean her face with Emma turns on Lydia.

“Lydia, he’s my General not commander… wait excuse me? I’m not with child,” she says surprised.

“Honey, that dress fit you like a glove last week, now you cannot button it. You just threw up and you’ve got that glow, which I thought just came from you being in love, but clearly, it’s from child. If I’m wrong tell me when you last bled,” Lydia says, crossing her arms. Emma thinks back, surely it wasn’t long ago, but between rebuilding the kingdom and coordinating a wedding with Leo she simply well forgot about it. Emma blinks a few times, “I don’t remember, maybe no… about three months ago?”

“I suspected as much. Now, don’t worry about the dress. I have extra fabric; we’ll get to work on letting it out. You will look beautiful. Once my work is done no one will know. I insist you rest until your next appointment and tell that man he’s going to be a father,” Emma looks nervous and Lydia grabs her hand, “Don’t worry about the girls and I, we will keep this quiet until it’s time.” Emma nods grateful. Lydia makes some measurements before they help her out of the dress. Once she’s in her normal dress again, she notices it’s tight. She looks to Lydia who is already nodding, “I’ll have some everyday dresses made as well.”

“You’re the best,” Emma says grasping her hand, “thank you.” The older women smiles warmly.

“You are like the daughter I never had. Don’t get me wrong I love my sons, but they are men and it’s not the same. I watched you and Leo grow up, I’d do anything for you two. Now, I insist rest,” she lectures Emma who simply nods. A baby. My gods, Killian and she had discussed children. Both of them thrilled to be parents, but they never expected it to be this soon. Emma knows she should tell him right away, but she barely has two seconds to herself before she’s swept into meetings for the rest of the day and when she makes it back to her chambers Killian is already asleep. She kisses his head before snuggling close to him and drifting off to sleep.

Emma is nauseous the next morning and really how didn’t she notice this before. With all the other royalty and dignitaries arriving today they barely get two seconds to themselves before servants flood their chambers ushering them to get ready for the day. They share a longing look and Killian presses a kiss into her lips.

“Soon we’ll have a proper honeymoon and not a damn person will be around for miles,” he whispers making her cheeks blush.

“I’m holding you to that, General,” she smiles. One of Lydia’s assistants scurries in with a new dress, interrupting their moment.

“Sorry, Your Majesty. Lydia needs to know if this is to your liking,” the young girl says with a knowing look. Emma sighs, but understands.

“Of course,” Emma says finally sliding out from bed, “Let’s get this over with then can’t keep her waiting.” The assistant nods with a smile. The dress is a vibrant red the skirt expertly hiding her stomach. It fits beautifully.

“Tell Lydia this is perfect,” Emma says with a subtle nod, the girl smiles before curtsying and running out the door. Her crown is nestled into her hair and makeup applied to her face. When she sees Killian, he is dressed in a white tunic and black pants with dark brown jacket and of course a sword strapped in at his waist. Emma takes in the sight of him for what feels like a very long minute.

“General, you look…” she says a little speechless. He smirks.

“My Queen, you can say it, dashingly handsome,” he teases her. Killian strides to her side, offering his hand. She places her hand in his. Killian brings it up to his lips.

“We know you’re the real beauty here,” he tells her seriously. A smile and a blush creep across her cheeks.

“I must say I do miss your usual leather,” she tells him with a seductive glint in her eye.

“Oh, I know how found of it you are. Don’t worry the minute our visitors are gone it’ll be back,” he winks at her. Emma want to tell him right then and there, but with about ten other people in their room it doesn’t seem like the right moment.

“Good, now let’s go. I’m sure we have a schedule to keep,” she tells him, and they walk hand in hand to the door.

“Are you sure we can’t be late? Because I am only a man, My Queen and that dress well it’s stirring up my husbandly duties,” he whispers the last part in her ear. Emma keeps her composure as they walk down the corridor despite the growing heat pooling between her legs.

“Your wife would love to indulge you, but I’m afraid the Queen is going to make you wait,” Emma whispers back.

“That’s fine, you’ll just have to think about me all day long and what we could be doing,” he winks, and she curses him. He knows she’s impatient and waiting will torture her.

“Who says I’m not already?” she throws back at him and she watches him curse under his breath.

“These damn people need to leave already, I want my wife to myself,” he says so only she can hear. Emma chuckles and kisses his hand, anymore would ignite them even further. They are in for a long day indeed. The days fly by with all of the duties they have assigned to them, the couple are rarely together. Suddenly and exhaustingly it’s the night before the wedding and Leo insists that they sleep in separate rooms. Emma might punch her brother at this suggestion. She hasn’t seen Killian all day, she’s missing him terribly and her raging hormones aren’t helping. She really needs to tell her husband about their child, which she was planning on doing tonight.

“Emma, we’re doing this the right way. For once in your life listen to me,” Leo says, looking just as exhausted as the rest of them. She huffs and kisses her husband.

“Love, it’s one night then you won’t be without me for the rest of our days,” he chuckles softly when she buries herself into his chest.

“I know, I just… it’s fine,” she shakes her head. Killian grabs her chin, “Are you sure? Because no offense Leo, I’ll stay here if it’s that important.” he searches her eyes, looking for something.

“No, Leo’s busted his ass for this wedding. If you don’t listen to him, he may combust,” she chuckles. Leo just crosses his arms, clearly annoyed.

“That’s very true. Goodnight, love.” He kisses her head before allowing Leo to lead him out of the room. Killian looks back at Emma once more, concern lingering. She gives him an encouraging smile before he disappears. Emma flops onto their bed with a sigh she might not tell him about their child until their honeymoon at this rate. Exhaustion sweeps over her lulling her to sleep.

Lydia comes with the dress the next morning to insure it fits her perfectly which it does.

“Ah you’re beautiful! Your general won’t be able to resist you,” she cheers. Emma shakes her head, but admire the dress it is truly beautiful, and Lydia is right no one will be able to tell she’s with child. Leo comes to her rooms when it’s time, he will be the one to walk her down the aisle. The servants clear out of the room to give them a moment alone.

“I know you’re technically married, but are you nervous?” he asks her.

“No, he’s already mine,” she shakes her head. Ever since their midnight wedding she’s felt lighter and much more at ease with the fanfair.

“But? I sense a but coming,” he says with a smile.

“I just need some time alone with him. I know we’ve been close, but I haven’t had any time with him,” she admits hoping to change the subject.

“After last night I moved some things around and you have an extra five days at the summer place for your honeymoon,” he tells her. She hugs him tightly.

“Thank you. For that, for everything, really, I couldn’t do this without you,” she says.

“I’m well aware, now we need to get a move on. You will not be late to your own wedding,” Leo orders practically pushing her out the door.

“So, I noticed Prince Eric is here,” Emma comments as they descend down the staircase.

“Yeah, him and Princess Melody came, their parents stayed behind they had to deal an urgent matter. What of it?” Leo asks her cautiously. Prince Eric and Princess Melody were the children of King Eric and Queen Ariel, who were some of their parents’ closest friends. They all practically grew up together. It was no secret that Leo was completely smitten with his best friend and well Eric didn’t quite hide his own feelings either, but both of them were too unsure of the other’s emotions to act on them. Snow thought they would make a handsome couple, she mentioned it to Emma several times.

“He grew up handsomely wouldn’t you say? He’s a good man,” she prods him just as their mother would’ve. They stop in front of the chapel doors and Emma adjusts her skirt.

“Your point is?” Leo asks her, clearly taken aback by this conversation.

“Court him before someone else does. Tell him you love him while you’re at it,” she whispers before the doors swing open. Leo has to quickly hide his shock in front of the crowd assembled before them. Emma slips his arm through his and he leads her down the aisle. Emma catches sight of Killian and the breath catches in her throat. He’s handsome as ever. He always is, but his outfit is composed of all black and it brings out his striking blue eyes. Eyes she regularly gets lost in. His mouth is slightly ajar. Killian is taken back by her beauty always, but Emma is a vision in white. He wishes he could clearly see her face, her fierce green eyes, but the veil is between them. Leo deposits her at the altar and swiftly lifts the veil over her head. Leo kisses her cheek before taking his seat in the first row.

Killian takes her hand and suddenly it doesn’t matter there is a crowd watching them. It feels like it is just the two of them and Lancelot, who guides them through the ceremony. They say the standard vows, both of them have a glint in their eye knowing that the words that truly matter to them have already been said. This wedding is for appearances.

“By the power vested in me by Her Majesty, I declare you two husband and wife,” Lancelot says with a beaming smile, “You my kiss the bride.” Killian sweeps Emma into his arms and gives her more chaste kiss than she is used to, which annoys her, but she accepts it. Emma gets to spend the rest of her life with this wonderful man.

“Don’t worry there is more for you later, My Queen,” he smirks knowing she wasn’t satisfied.

“There better be,” she whispers, clasping his hand as the walk down the aisle.

If Emma doesn’t tell Killian about their child soon, she may burst. She can tell he knows something is amiss. She didn’t drink from her wine during the toast, just pretended. Her mother always said that spirits won’t good for a growing child. Killian raised an eyebrow and she just squeezed his hand to indicate they would talk later. However, they don’t have a moment alone until after the feast when the dancing begins. Killian sweeps her out on the dance floor a determined look on his face.

“You can waltz?” she whispers as the music starts.

“Don’t look so surprised, I was a naval officer once. We had to attend balls,” he smirks at her.

“You’re quite good at this, good thing you’re my dance partner for every ball in the foreseeable future,” she smiles.

“Yes, I am. Lucky me, I have the most beautiful partner. Now, you’re distracting me from my current mission,” he shakes his head ever so slightly. Emma raises an eyebrow, “What mission would you have on a dance floor, General?”

“What is the bothering with my beautiful wife? You looked miserable when we couldn’t spend the night together and you haven’t been feeling well and you didn’t drink your wine tonight. All very peculiar for you. Is there something wrong with you? Are you ill? Should I be worried?” Killian asks quickly and quietly, keeping a faint smile on his face.

“My sweet, dear husband, I’m not ill, but you’re perspective and I have been trying to tell you for days now,” she sighs.

“Emma, please,” he begs her.

“I’m with child,” she whispers in his ear to guarantee no one else hears her confession. When she pulls back to see his eyes once more, surprise and elation are in his eyes.

“Truly?” he asks her, and she nods tears in her eyes.

“Yes, I wanted to tell you since I found out and thought we would have a moment last night, but-” she abruptly cut off with kiss from her husband. His strong arms lift her off the dance floor and spin them in a circle. When he releases her they resume dancing once more.

“Gods I feel so much better now,” she tells him, holding onto him as she regains her balance.

“Why’s that?” he asks her, slowly moving them around the dance floor.

“I felt guilty for not telling you immediately, but we haven’t had one moment to ourselves in days,” she sighs.

“No, we haven’t…” he agrees.

“We will soon though and Leo added five days onto our honeymoon,” she says with a seductive smile.

“Good, I fully plan on using those days to make my wife happy. We aren’t leaving bed for many many days,” he tells her.

“Good, I need to make my husband the happiest man,” she copies him and winks.

“I already am,” she rolls her eyes at his cheesy line and he just laughs, “Now, who is the man smitten with Leo?” With a twirl Emma catches a glance of Leo and Eric hands intertwined.

“Prince Eric. Looks like he took my advice,” Emma grins.

“Is that the Eric he constantly talks about?” Killian asks curious.

“Yes, it is. We all grew up together and Leo has been in love with him for so long. He deserves to be happy, they both do,” Emma sighs, “You’re not surprised about them?” Emma searches her husband’s eyes.

“No, your brother has never once mentioned a girl who wasn’t you or Ruby, but he brings up Eric every chance he can. It wasn’t hard to figure out. He deserves happiness,” Killian says before twirling her once again.

Emma never thought she could be this happy, she never imagined she would have the kind of love her parents did. Emma knows what they share is rare and not many royals are able to marry for love, but she’s glad her parents made her wait for this. Emma kisses Killian and smiles knowing that her future will be bright with this man by her side.

[omg-puddingpie]

“Time has a wonderful way of showing us what matters….”

Bar Harbor, Maine. The present.

Life is an odd mystery to many and find this complicated journey a pleasure to either comprehend or tackle. It does not come with instructions, nor do previous experiences before you map out your own possibilities. There tends to be many forks in the road, leaving the traveler puzzled and confused of which direction to take.

This was Penelope Smith’s current status at the moment and supposedly has been since she could recall. Her 18th birthday was meant to be a turning point and a new chapter in life; she was leaving behind childish wishes and wants, to pursue something more valuable beyond these walls. Penny was prepared to leap into the arms of adulthood and take on any challenge that may come her way. But she was in the middle of a fork in the ‘road’ of life and she swore to the moon and beyond that this path was one she’d traveled on before. But there was a bump that no one warned her about. No one took a minute to ease Penny into this circumstance.

Yet here she was, attempting to comprehend her newly found discovery. She sat upon her bed, staring vacantly at the ceiling. Outside her window, the amicable trickle of rain along the glass. There was a slight breeze currently dancing along the air and twisting around the branches and structures. For that moment of silence, Penny sat, collecting her thoughts.

“I’m not his daughter….” Penny whispers this, her words lost among the storm outside. “.....I’m not his daughter….then who am I…..WHAT am I….”

This was on iteration for the time being. Penelope could feel several tears brewing within her eyes but while biting down upon her lip, managed to pull back all these feelings. Don’t cry, Penny thought to herself. Don’t cry...you’re a woman now….don’t cry….don’t cry….

But her previous thoughts returned and took over her very mind.

“I’m not his daughter, so who am I?”

There was a knock on her bedroom door and for a little while, Penny aimed to simulate she did not hear the gentle rapping at her door. Perhaps whomever it was would tire if she remained still and mute. At this particular moment, Penny did not want to be bothered by another soul but rather have her evening consumed with thoughts.

But the knocking did not cease and with a gradual headache brewing in the distance, Penny had no other choice. With a heavy sigh, Penny makes her way to the door, turns the knob and opens. Her mother stood before her, with a crooked smile and blood shot eyes. She must have been crying, thought Penny. Good.

“I brought you the rest of your dinner….” Penny’s mother holds up a plate. “It’s your favorite, considering it’s your birthday and-”

“I don’t want it.” Penny turns away and returns to her bed. “I just want to be alone.”

“I can’t do that, Penelope. We need to talk….”

Before another word was said, Penelope’s step father, Grendel, approaches the door and peers in. The hall light seemed to glow against his skin, showing the many scars and damaged skin he acquired over the centuries of existence. Time sure was not kind to you, reflected Penny. But his leathery fingers wrapped around her mother and glares at Penny, now sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Everything alright in here ladies?” Gren spoke, almost in a whispered tone. “The other kids are wondering where Penny went. Your sisters and brother want you downstairs, Penny….”

“I’ll be down in a bit, Gren. I just….want to talk to my mom. Alone….”

Gren nods. “You need me to stay too, Lyla or-”

Penny’s mother, now addressed as Lyla, shakes her head and gently touches Gren’s hand. “I’ll be fine. I should have done this a long time ago but….tell the others to finish their meals and we’ll be down soon to open gifts and eat some cake.”

Gren plants a kiss on Lyla’s cheek and leaves the women. Both could hear the echoing sound of his boots as Gren walks down the hall and down the stairs. Lyla shuts the door behind her and takes a seat beside her daughter. Lyla manages to place her hand on Penny’s leg and squeezes it lovingly.

“Who am I mom?” Penny speaks.

Lyla knew this time would come, despite attempting to push this into the shadows. It’s more facile to run and hide from the truth, especially when it’s peeking out, exposing its ugly head and malicious smile. But there is only so much running a single individual can accomplish, before they’re facing the dirt, terrified to peer up and face the truth. They’d rather spend their remaining lives looking down then up, knowing what is waiting. This had been Lyla since she knew of the quad’s existence and the truth behind their conception, especially Penelope.

Lyla exhales heavily and lightly touches Penny’s cheek. “Wait here. I’ll return with something that will explain everything….”

Lyla stands, exits the room and heads into her own bedroom. Penny could hear drawers opening and shutting, the shuffling of papers and a few more sighs, before her mother began the journey back to her room. Her mother’s footsteps seemed insync with the storm brewing outside her window; Penny continued to stare out the window, now fighting back tears and the burning sensation to lose all self control. She was bemused and irate with everything: her family, these secrets, the unknown and her own inability to control this bothersome feelings developing within. She was better than this…..more compused, structured and understanding…..

Lyla returns and sits beside her daughter. Penny turns to face her mother, now allowing the tears to fall from her eyes and along her face. Lyla only holds a pocket watch in her palms.

“What is that?” Penny points to the object.

“This...is the very thing to answer your question, of who you are….I….I was instructed to give this to you on your 18th birthday and was secretly hoping it was not needed but after tonight...I suppose you can’t always have what you want in life and what is meant to BE, will eventually find its way….”

“Mom….” Penny’s voice begins to tremble. “.....What is this?”

“This pocket watch was given to you by your father…..your biological father….”

“Who is my biological father, mom, since it’s not Georgie like you stated….”

“It was much easier to lie and say you belonged to Georgie, like your other siblings but...your biological makeup is not from Georgie but a man that goes by many names. When I met him, he went by Mephisto. To others, he’s known as Loki, the Raven, Trickster, Johann Faust….but it would later be revealed his true identity as Samael, the Demon king of time….”

“Mom…..” Penny could feel the color drain from her face, the sudden need to vomit. “....Am I a….Demon?”

“I don’t think you’re fully Demon but you do have some demonic qualities that I’ve had to try and mask or explain as you’ve aged. At your birth, you had a radiant glow to your skin that seemed to stick by your side, up until your first birthday. These little creatures called Coal Tars followed you everywhere they went; it was cute watching you attempt to catch these little things but it was a frustrating task explaining to strangers or even family members, why your child was chasing imaginary beings.”

“They couldn’t see them?”

“Not everyone can see Demonic beings; your grandmother could, as did your siblings, thank goodness for that. Your aunts could see them as well and your grandfather as well but everyone else assumed you were playing childish games with your imagination…..it wasn’t until your first birthday did I become concerned. Coal Tars are not too intimidating but when you go into your child’s room and find dark creatures looming over your sleeping body, it became a panic to me….”

“What were they?”

“Your familiars, as your father explained to me….I went in search for him because I feared for your life and even your sibling’s lives. I didn’t know if they would hurt them in any way.”

“My familiars?”

“Your father explained to me that every demon is connected in some form or another and only certain Demons with royal blood can carry the responsibility to familiars and certain powers. Since your father IS the king of time, you inherited your very own dark army. They were harmless, unless you verbalized any form of command or they thought you were any form of danger.”

“Huh….I recall a time when Emily was picking on me and she suddenly…..stopped…”

“Yes….” Lyla did indeed recall that moment as well. “Your familiars picked up your distress and found your sister a threat….it took A LOT of communication with those things but….I think your sister’s fear and commitment to NEVER bully you again was enough for them to back away.”

“A Demon?” Penny looks down at her hands. “Why did you lie mom? Why?”

Lyla tightly clutches the watch, continuing to cry. “I had to defend your siblings because of who their father was, let alone a Demonic child developing within. I only wanted to protect you, Penelope because each of you kids had a prophecy attached to them and once your own hands touched this watch, it would begin and despite the instructions, I only wanted to protect you and hold off a little longer but…..like I said….you can only hide and run for so long…..”

While planting a kiss upon Penny’s forehead, Lyla places the watch into her hands; for a moment, the item had a warm sensation the instant it touched her bare skin. Penelope embraced this sensation while tracing her index finger along the glass. The hands of the watch were still but the second Penny touches the glass, the hands began to move, a ticking noise emerging from inside.

Lyla speaks. “You are now one with this watch. You are connected to your father and everything he stands for and beyond. From this moment forward, Penelope, you ARE the daughter to Samael, king of time.”

“It’s lovely.” Penny cracks a smile. “My father…..where is he?”

“He runs a school in Japan for students wanting to become Exorcists. It’s called True Cross Academy.”

Penny chuckles. “Seriously? A Demon running an Exorcist school?”

“Ironic, isn’t it? But in all seriousness, he’s the director to the school. I have an address of where you can locate him.”

There was still so many questions Penny had. “How the hell did that happen? I mean, me having a different father from the others?”

“Well, there are three ways that I’ve come up with: One, I am part Werewolf, so that may have played a part. Two, Superfecundation, which is the fertilization of two or more ova from the same cycle by sperm from separate acts of sexual intercourse. Or third, your birth was more than just a pleasant whoopsie.”

Lyla knew the reason but little at a time, she thought. 

“Interesting….” Penny continues to touch the watch, the warmth intensifying. “....Mom-”

“I apologies for not telling you the truth sooner, Penny.”

“I understand, mom. You may not think I do but….I do. Was he-my father-was he around me at all or-”

“He was, Penny. You may NOT have seen him but….he’s always been there: from school plays, to birthday parties, to your first broken heart and beyond.”

“I need to find him.” Penny stands and walks to her bedroom window. “I want to meet my father, mom! I...I have to go see him!”

Lyla scratches her arm and eyes at her daughter. “That’s quite a trip, Penelope….I’ll have to contact him at his place of business and see if you’re capable of making a visit.”

“I can do it, mom-I can call him myself and see.”

“And alone?”

“Yeah mom.” Penny laughs. “Of course alone. I’m not a baby, mom…..”

“No, you’re not a baby anymore but….you’re still MY little girl, Penelope….”

“Mom….I’ll be fine…” Penny embraces her mother. “....I have to know WHO I am, mom...what this life has in stock for me….what MY purpose is in this world. You said we each were born with a prophecy and I’d like to know what mine contains, be it good OR bad, mom.”

Lyla exhales and continues to hold onto her child. This was it: she’d been dreading this day when her daughter became one with the truth that was responsible for her existence. There would come a time were Lyla could no longer hold Penny back and must allow her child to walk down the road and choose her own path to life; she’d be there, like times before, should her child need assistance for anything.

“Well then, seems like you’re more ready for this then I am….” Lyla wipes her eyes. “I’ll go grab the contact information for you….until then, come downstairs with me, so you may join your siblings...I’m sure they’re wondering where their sister ran off to….perhaps it’s time they knew as well….”

Grabbing her mother’s hand, Penny places the watch into her pocket and nods

“Sounds good mom…..sounds really good…”

Been thinking about writing again. I never did go into a full story for Lyla’s daughter Penelope and felt like now was the time. I’ll post more when I have the time but this is a start. :3

[shewhowantsmouseears]

Shattered, Chapter 5

Notes:As always, big thanks to my amazing editors Drucilla and BlueShifted!

Originally "Mother" was going to be Mortimer, but I decided that would be too creepy. Also, certain lines should give away who she is, eh?

Summary: As Minnie begins her journey, she discovers beautiful treasures, but may fall prey to the dangers beneath.

Minnie was cold, endlessly cold, and she couldn't move. She lay with her back on the ice, the cold eating up her toes, then her feet, her ankles, her legs... every nerve in her body screamed in agony before going completely numb. She searched for her voice to cry for help, but now she felt the cold in her lungs, pricking her insides, clawing its way up her throat, and then she felt a pair of hands on her neck , the Snow Queen -

“But you... just... wouldn't... learn... your... PLACE!”

She woke up with a shriek, startling Ratface so much he jumped into the air, flapping his wings erratically. “Oh, me, oh my!” He then alighted on the side of the boat, looking around for whatever enemy had suddenly approached. Once he realized it was nothing and no one, he sighed hard, rubbing his feathers on his chest. “Sheesh... you nearly gave me a heart attack, pretty girl! You intend to scare me to death?”

Minnie didn't say anything, breathing hard, trying to remember where she was and why she was here. Slowly she touched her neck, relieved that it had been a nightmare – and hoping it wasn't a prediction of things to come. “I-I'm sorry...” she murmured, taking a long look at her surroundings. “I have bad dreams every now and then.” The boat had stopped, nudged between several large rocks on a grassy shore. The water still kept churning, but the boat would go no further. “I think this is far as we can go.”

“'Every now and then',” Ratface repeated with a grumble as Minnie collected her satchel. “If you do this every time you sleep, I'll fly away right now, I swear it. Nightmares aren't supposed to last that long. You're supposed to be an adult. You ought to do something about it.”

Minnie hoisted her satchel over her shoulder before sparing him a look. “Like what?”

Ratface huffed. “Must I think of everything?”

Minnie quickly decided Ratface liked to complain for the sake of complaining. He'd never fit in if he lived in the village. She climbed out of the boat, and walked through the chilly water before making it to solid ground. It was a little painful, since she had no shoes. She almost called Ratface lucky for not having nightmares, but remembered his rage for that word, and tried to form the thought in a different way. “Do you have trouble sleeping, Ratface?”

“I don't like to sleep.” Ratface watched her until she was on dry land, and then flew to her shoulder, perching perfectly. He was a bit heavy, but Minnie didn't mind. “I find it to be terribly lazy. I bore easily.”

“But everyone needs to sleep. How do you get your rest if you don't sleep?”

“How do you mind your own business if you keep yapping on?”

Goodness gracious – talking with Ratface was like going two steps forward and one step back. No wonder the bird had been all by himself when Minnie came upon him. She wondered if anyone else could stand him if he kept going back and forth with his answers. She didn't want to think this way – she should be grateful for any help she had – but he could stand to be a little nicer. The old standard from the village kept her from saying so - What was the point? If she was grateful, then why make things bothersome? But the thought lingered on her mind, and bounced on her tongue without ever leaving her mouth.

They walked on the greenest grass Minnie had ever seen, and her eyes kept going down, marveling at its beauty. “Do you think anyone would mind if I took some of this grass with me? It's so nice to look at.”

“Maybe we'll need it in case a cow needs a gift,” Ratface said with a snicker.

Minnie bent down to snatch a handful. “That would be nice. It could give us some milk in exchange.”

Ratface stopped snickering. “You don't know what sarcasm is, do you?” When Minnie merely blinked at him, he ran his feathers down his face. “No wonder I can't get a rise out of you. How do you expect to survive in this world if you can't stand up for yourself? I bet I could smack your face and you'd apologize for it.”

Minnie placed the grass inside her satchel and continued walking. “I don't think you'd hurt me... at least, not unless you had a good reason for it.” She wished they never came upon such a reason, but one could never be entirely sure.

“And that's another thing. You trust far too easily. How do you know I'm not leading you into a trap?”

“I don't think you are. Are you?”

The raven made a frustrated “harrrumph” deep in his throat, which Minnie thought was kind of cute. It reminded her of when she first started feeding Figaro – he'd inch closer, then retreat if Minnie moved, trying to pretend he wasn't interested. Perhaps like the kitten, Ratface just needed to be won over with simple kindness. She moved to gently brush the top of his head with her finger.

“I am not a pet,” he growled, but he didn't stop her.

They walked on for what felt like many a mile, Minnie's feet aching terribly. Just as her legs would shake and she would wonder if she was fit to collapse, Ratface would suddenly complain that she was moving too fast and she needed to stop before he emptied his stomach. He demanded she sit so he could clean his feathers which she “ruffled up with her pigeon fingers”, which took some time. Funny how when she was able to walk again, her body felt better. This happened quite a few times.

At midday, with Minnie's stomach beginning to growl, she was about to stop to eat the vegetables she brought along, when the sight of something miraculous destroyed her hunger. “Oh!” she gasped, “Ratface, look at that!”

“Must I?” Ratface jumped off of her shoulder just as Minnie began to sprint forward, still amazed at what she was seeing.

There, in this endless green, lay a garden of hundreds of different colored flowers, the likes of which Minnie had never seen before. These were even beyond the boundaries of Mickey's books, with petals of varying shapes and mixed colors that blew her imagination way. They circled around a quaint house with a rusty red rooftop, and the windows were hidden by velvet red curtains. Minnie paid no mind to the house, going from flower to flower to marvel at their appearance. “I've never seen anything like these!” Minnie declared, running her fingers along soft purple buds. “Mickey would love these... Maybe I can take some of them with me.”

“We shouldn't be here, pretty girl,” Ratface said, now perched on the edge of the roof. “We must get going.”

Minnie knew he was right, but everywhere she turned there was a new flower to adore, and she found it difficult to tear herself away. “But they're all so beautiful! Are these kinds of flowers that we'll see as we go to the Snow Queen?”

“You won't know if you don't get moving,” Ratface replied, but his usual barbed demeanor had sharpened, and he paced along the edge, trying to urge Minnie along, his feathers tightly slicked. “Flowers are flowers, they're just plants, now stop planting yourself in one place and go!”

Was he being rude again for the sake of being rude? Minnie was getting tired of that attitude – and that's when the door began to loudly creak open. Minnie stopped where she was, as did Ratface, as a pale hand emerged from the darkness within.

“Is someone there?” the owner of the hand whispered.

Ratface jerked his head to the side urgently, trying to signal that Minnie should get out of there – but that would be so disrespectful! Minnie placed her hands together, hoping she hadn't disturbed the owner of the household. “I'm sorry, miss. We were just passing through.”

“Oh, my, my, my.” The door then opened all the way, and out stepped a lovely older woman, smiling serenely at Minnie. Her dark hair curled up around her shoulders, swaying with her as she walked out into the sunshine. Her dress was as red as the rose tucked behind Minnie's ear, with yellow trimmings along the sleeves and bottom. “It's been ages since I've had company. What's a little thing like you doing here all by your lonesome?”

“I'm not by my lonesome,” Minnie explained, pointing to the bird who slapped his wing to his face. “Ratface, come say hello.”

The woman's kind face instantly hardened, and when she glared at Ratface, Minnie nearly thought the raven would molt. “I despise birds,” she hissed, clutching her arms. “They're filthy creatures, rats with wings... what an appropriate name.” Ratface blew a raspberry, but didn't speak. The woman then instantly became all smiles again as she approached Minnie. “But enough about him. Who are you, who trespassed into my garden, dear one?”

Minnie felt a sting of guilt. “Oh, I... I'm Minnie, miss. I really didn't mean to trespass. I should get going...”

“Nonsense!” The woman placed her hand on Minnie's shoulder. “You just got here, why leave so soon?  Look at you, you have no shoes! Which I guess I should be grateful about, since you would have destroyed my garden otherwise with all your stomping around.” She laughed a bit, pushing Minnie. “It's a joke, dear.”

Was it? What was the punchline? “I... I guess it couldn't hurt to rest my feet a bit.”

“Exactly. Come inside, I'll make you some tea, we'll chat, you'll relax, and if you want to go, you'll feel much better about everything.” She didn't seem to be giving Minnie much choice about it, given how forcefully she was shoving Minnie into the house.

Minnie cast one more look at Ratface, whose emerald eyes seemed to be... sad? “What about my friend?”

“Friend? That's no friend,” the woman scoffed, shutting the door behind them. “What kind of friend treats you like that? I couldn't help but overhear you earlier. He's always insulting you, isn't he? I bet he was just using you, playing with his prey. What an awful animal.” The inside of the house was much larger than the outside should have been, and Minnie looked back and forth between the interior and the door, confused. There were many rooms, and the thin, red carpet led to each one like an arrow. Shelves lined every wall, and on each shelf was a porcelain doll. Each doll had a unique dress, and a unique style of hair, but they all wore the same dull, lifeless expression that stared into nothing.

“Let me get that for you,” the woman said as she slid Minnie's satchel off her back.

Minnie whipped around, surprised at how easily it came off. “B-But that's my-”

“Relax, dear! Do you think I'm a thief, after I've let you into my house out of the goodness of my heart?”

The younger girl felt herself shrinking. “N-No, of course not, miss, but... there are some very important things in there.”

“So we shall take very important care of them.” Which apparently meant hanging it on an empty coat rack. “And enough of this 'miss' stuff. You can call me Mother.”

“Mother?” Minnie repeated, perplexed by such a title. But it would be rude to say no, wouldn't it? “Thank you... Mother.”

Mother's smile grew, and she slid out a small trinket from her sleeve – a glass comb. “Much better. Now, stay still – if you're going to stay here, you can't look like too much of a mess.” She bent over and ran the comb through Minnie's hair. “There, now you don't look half as strange! Another joke, dear, do lighten up.”

Again, Minnie failed to see what was so funny, but... didn't seem to mind as much, this time. Perhaps Mother earned her name, because that was a very motherly touch. “Thank you, Mother.”

Mother tucked the comb back into her sleeve, and the two went into a modest dining room, where Minnie was encouraged to sit on a plush sofa where piping hot tea and strawberry scones were already waiting. To Minnie's weary stomach, it was like being at a fabulous banquet, and she sighed blissfully as the warm tea nestled in her body. “You have such a lovely house, Mother. None of the houses in my village look like this, not even the Mayor's.”

Mother went around the room, propping up any of the dolls that seemed to slide askew. “You must come from an incredibly ugly village. I can't stand to have ugly things in my house. If I were you, I'd never go back to such a disgusting place. I can't believe your mother would let you leave.”

Minnie looked down at her reflection in the tea. “I... I didn't tell her. I ran away from home.” Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw Ratface at the window, but quickly looked away, not wanting to reveal his location to Mother. Her stomach tightened – it felt wrong to hide Ratface, but at the same time, she didn't want to upset this woman who opened her door to her. It was an odd series of conflicting thoughts. Why had been Ratface been so stubborn? Was he jealous?

“Oh, you poor thing.” Mother sat beside Minnie, taking out the comb again. “She must have been a terrible mother for you to leave without a single word.”

“She's...” Minnie's grip on the tea cup tightened. “She's not... I just didn't want to burden her. I don't think she'd understand what I'm trying to do.” Was it wrong to leave without saying anything? Would Mama and Papa have fought tooth and nail to keep her in the village? Or would they have let her go without any effort? She had been so sure about her choice when first making it, but now...?

Mother began to comb Minnie's hair again, over and over. “But for her not to even notice you were leaving? That's not a good mother. I'd never let my daughters leave.”

The comb felt so soothing in Minnie's hair, and Minnie was thankful to have someone attend to her so tenderly. Mother's daughters must have cared for her very much, so Minnie thought. Mother began to hum a light lullaby, and Minnie closed her eyes, not as hungry anymore. Yes, Mother was very good to her. When was the last time Mama did anything like this? When was the last time Mama reached out for her?

… Didn't... Mama reach out to her... once?

Marcus, open the door!

… Who was Marcus?

The tea cup felt heavy in Minnie's hands, and it spilled on her dress, waking her up. “Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry!” Thankfully it hadn't gotten on the couch or floor, but when Minnie tried to stand up, her legs felt rigid – she wobbled before finding balance, as if her knees were refusing to bend.

“Quite all right, dear.” Mother stood up. “Some people think clumsiness is cute. I'm not some people, but let's assume it was said.” She took the cup from Minnie's hand, placing it aside. “We'll get rid of your rags and dress you up in something nicer.”

Minnie looked up, taken aback by such generosity, and smiled. “You're too kind, Mother.”

“I am, aren't I? Don't worry about it. It's like I said – I hate having ugly things in my house, and this just works out, doesn't it?” Again, she held Minnie by the shoulder and pushed her into another room -  a walk-in closet full of shimmering dresses, of all the colors of the rainbow – just like the garden, Minnie mused, wondering if there was any connection. Her legs still felt funny, but maybe she'd just been sitting down for too long. There didn't seem to be any reason to worry about it.

“Let me see...” Mother went through the hanging dresses, trying to pick the right one. “Which one would be best for you?”

“I like red,” Minnie offered.

“Dear, it is so adorable when you offer an opinion no one asked for!” Mother laughed, lightly patting Minnie on the head as if she were a child. “You remind me of so many of my other daughters.  All of them so eager to please, always happy to do whatever I asked of them.” She resumed the dress hunt, going with green pastel with fluffy sleeves. “That's the great thing about being a mother. You give and you give without asking anything in return. Now, put this on.”

Minnie held out her hands to take it – but stopped. The dress, while nice, wasn't made for traveling. The long skirt would drag down in the dirt, and the giant sleeves would make sleeping difficult. Traveling – she couldn't afford to stay here that long, could she? “I... It's very lovely, Mother, but is it okay if I keep the clothes I have?”

Mother raised an eyebrow, still holding the dress up. “If you hate it that much, why don't you spit it on it?”

“No! No, no, no!” Minnie flailed, though her arms were starting to feel odd too. “I don't hate it! It's... I have to travel a long way, and I don't think it will help. You should save something that nice for your daughters.”

“Oh, I would, but they're so... terribly ungrateful.” Mother sighed as she hung it back up. “I give, and they take, I give, and they take... do I ask for so much? A little company, is that so selfish of me to want? It gets so lonely in this house of mine, so anyone who stops by is like a savior at my darkest hour.” Another sigh, longer and louder this time, an arm to her forehead. “Don't look at me that way. Now I'm the bad guy.”

“No, no, you're not, you're not the bad guy...” Minnie's stomach hurt. She didn't want the dress, but she didn't want to hurt Mother either. “What if I clean up my clothes myself? I'll do all the work.” She walked out the closet – and stumbled, because, surely, they just left the living room, but now they were in a room that contained nothing but dolls, floor to ceiling. Three square windows allowed sunshine to highlight their blank faces, and a single wooden step-stool sat in the middle. “Wasn't...?”

“I get it now.” Mother lightly pat Minnie's head. “You're so exhausted, you can't think straight! What am I doing, trying to dress you up when you can't even stand up? Have a seat, we'll make things right.”

Minnie sat down on the stool, feeling as if all the eyes in the room were on her. Her knees still wouldn't bend, and she felt awkward in this position, until she felt the comb in her hair again. “There, there,” said Mother. “Don't you feel better now?”

She did, really. Much better. “I'm sorry for making such a fuss, Mother.”

“At least you acknowledged it. So many of my daughters refused to apologize. I don't know where I went wrong.” Her hand stayed on Minnie's shoulder, the comb sliding through, over and over. “But we can always start over. A good mother never lets her daughter go.”

A good mother... Was Minnie's mother a good mother? … Didn't she call her mother something else..?

“And a good daughter never leaves her mother.”

… A good daughter... left... a place... where...?

“We'll just get rid of everything ugly, so the only thing that remains is beautiful.”

Minnie's eyelids felt heavy, and so did the rest of her body. Soon all she could feel was the tender comb, Mother's embrace, and the rigidness in her legs climbed up. She thought she heard banging on the window, which was impossible, because there wasn't... anyone else here... It was just... Minnie and Mother...

“For starters, we'll get rid of this vile weed.” Mother's bony fingers took the rose from Minnie's hair, and lightly tossed it to the floor -

“Will you be my bride?”

Like water bursting from a dam, everything flooded back into Minnie's brain at once, and she shrieked, “No!” diving into the floor to catch the flower with her hands, knocking the step-stool over. How could she have forgotten that important question? She tried to get up – and couldn't. “I can't... I can't feel my legs!”

The middle window burst open, glass falling to the floor, as Ratface had used his entire body as a battering ram. Ignoring the glass shards in his feathers, he flew at Mother, pecking at her face, “I won't let you do it, not again!”

Mother grabbed Ratface by the throat, and threw him to the floor as if he were nothing more than a rag-doll. “Stay out of my way, traitor! You made your peace! She's going to make a lovely addition to my collection.”

Minnie pushed herself onto her back, and was able to see that her legs had become – porcelain! Shiny and solid, and as her eyes flew to each doll, she saw what could be her fate. Here she thought the Snow Queen was the only frightening thing in this world – but no, the world had plenty of other horrors in store. How long had this gone on? How many girls had been in Minnie's place, their legs nearly gone as fear overcame their senses? “You... all of these girls! How could you?” How could Minnie? She nearly let it happen! What had she done?

“I'm assuming you mean morally, and not physically.” Mother scoffed, kicking her foot into Ratface's belly. “Don't try to fight it. My comb contains a shard from the Snow Queen... a little of my own magic, and it becomes the perfect tool to help me keep all my daughters. All of them tried to run away... but now they don't remember where they were running to. And why should they? The outside world is a dangerous place, and they're perfectly safe here. After all, Mother knows best.”

“It's not too late! You won't have her!” Ratface tried to get up, but Mother kicked him in the stomach, sending him rolling, laughing even harder at his attempt.

Hundreds of questions were flooding Minnie's mind, but she went deaf to them, compared to the fate of the injured bird in the corner. “Stop it!” But what could she do? Her legs were useless, and if that comb touched her again, she knew she'd lose the rest of her body – and even then, the next poor girl to stumble upon this place would be lost to the same fate. What could someone as weak and helpless as her do? Mother wasn't even looking at her, no doubt expecting her to give up.

… Would that... be such a bad thing? Minnie's eyes rested on the comb in Mother's fingers. Maybe...

Just as Mother was about to kick Ratface again, Minnie cried out once more, “I won't fight anymore! If you leave him alone, I'll do whatever you want!”

Now this got Mother's attention, just as she pulled back her foot again. She raised an eyebrow, and then smiled that same sweet, venomous smile as if all was right in the world. “There now, see? Everything is as it should be. Was there ever really a need for all this fuss?” She calmly walked to Minnie's side, and Ratface raised his head, his green eyes wide with horror, then closing them in despair. As if this was all too familiar.

Mother slowly helped Minnie sit up, running her fingers through Minnie's hair. “What a good girl you are. You'll be the shining jewel of my collection... until someone prettier comes along. And, let's face it, it's not exactly a reach, dear. Oh, I'm joking! None of you ever learn how to take a joke.” She tsked, and then held out the comb. “A few more strokes ought to do it... just relax...” Minnie felt the comb in her hair -

And with the remaining strength left in her body, she turned sharply, and snatched the comb with her teeth!

Mother shrieked - “What are you doing?!” - and smacked Minnie across the face, but even as Minnie fell, she would not let go of the comb. Ratface quickly lifted his head, shocked, and Minnie bit down on the comb, hard, hard, hard – her mouth ached, her teeth hurt, and Mother kept smacking her, screaming at her to stop – Minnie felt cracks forming in the comb, and saw cracks forming along Mother's lovely skin -

“STOP IT, YOU WRETCHED GIRL!” Mother's hands came around Minnie's neck, trying to strangle her, but her grip was weakening with every crack of the comb. “STOP IT NOW! YOU UGLY CHILD, YOU HORRIBLE DAUGHTER, NO ONE ELSE WILL TAKE YOU IN!” Yet for all the pain, Minnie wouldn't stop, - this was not her mother, this was not anyone's mother, this thing had to be stopped - until she heard and felt a terrible snap.

The comb split in two, and Minnie felt something sharp fall down her throat, spitting out the two broken halves. Mother gagged, and then clawed at the air, cracks covering her entire body until she shattered – crumbling into dust that settled silently on the floor, leaving nothing behind. Minnie fell to the floor, her legs flesh again, but as she breathed, there was a chill in her chest.

“Minnie!” Ratface scrambled to her side, trying to help her up, his eyes checking her all over. “Pretty girl, are you all right?”

“I...” Minnie touched her chest, the chill refusing to leave. Her eyes felt strange – she looked at Ratface, and his worry increased tenfold.

“Your eyes... they're blue,” he said softly, touching her cheek with his feathers. “You... you must have swallowed the shard that was in the comb.”

One shard to freeze your mind. That was what the Snow Queen had said. Minnie lifted her arm, but didn't see any blue veins on her skin, as when it had happened to Mickey. Was it because she had taken the shard a different way? “What... what will happen to me now?”

“I'm... not sure.” Ratface swallowed, backing up once. “My only guess is... it might consume you from the inside. We have to get to the Snow Queen, her power controls the shards. We have to get there as soon as possible, before we find out what else it does.”

Minnie certainly didn't want to stay, but as she climbed to her feet, she couldn't help but gaze at the trapped dolls. “What about them? I thought... if I broke the comb...”

“They were still affected by the shard...” Ratface shook his head sadly. “Like I said... she controls the shards. We might be able to free them, if we can make it to the Snow Queen.”

It hurt to look at all the lost girls, to know that she could do nothing more for them. Minnie wiped her face, and then turned around, trying to address “everyone” at once. “I'll... I'll do my best for you. I promise. I'm going to get Mickey back... and I'll get all of you back too.” If she was going to do one impossible thing, why not add another impossible thing to the list? Why couldn't they do both? “Please... just be patient a little while longer.” With one final bow to the dolls, Minnie picked up Ratface, and held him to her chest. “Are you hurt?”

Ratface lowered his head shamefully. “... No one's... ever come this far. I've... I've tried so many times to warn them, but they all... they give up, because the water won't flow, or the weather's too cold, or they end up like this... they all give up, one way or another.” What made Minnie so different? Or would there be an obstacle in her way that would make her give up too? Why did he keep trying?

Minnie held Ratface even closer, but the chill in her chest remained. She had a dreadful feeling it wouldn't leave for some time... then they had better get moving. “Let's see how far we get. Come along, Ratface.” There was still more she wanted to ask, to know, but she didn't want to push Ratface away by asking it too soon. If it was important, she'd find out. There was still quite a way to go.

She returned to the front of the house, picked up her satchel, and left. Ratface climbed onto her shoulder – strange, Minnie noted, how brutally Mother had hurt him, but within minutes he was perfectly all right -  and they both cast one more look at the house before walking on.

Minnie thought of Mama and Papa, and how they had done what they thought was best to protect her. Yet there were things they couldn't protect her from. If they had known this, would Papa had shoved her out into the frost that night so long ago? She thought of Mama's hysterical crying when she woke up, and the years of silence that followed.

“Ratface?”

“Mmm? What now?”

“I'm sorry for not listening to you.”

“Hmph.” He didn't look at her. “I suppose... if I do say things, I could stand to say them clearer, next time.”

“I would like that very much.”

“I said if. Don't get your hopes up, pretty girl.”

Hope... Minnie walked on through the bright green grass. She knew of the word, hoping for good weather, hoping for good grades, hoping to see Mickey's smile.

But those kinds of hopes felt much, much smaller compared to the warmth in Minnie's heart -  the warmth that, for now, kept the chill at bay.

[ladycollegeguide-blog]

Expecting the Unexpected

Change in life is both unpredictable and inevitable. Although we cannot stop change from occurring, we can plan for some unexpected events in college. On this week’s blog, we’ll be discussing some closing tips while you prep for your new and refreshing university move. We’ll be touching base on homesickness, dorm room preparation, roommate cohabitation, packing and gearing up for your shot at a new and improved life! There is a lot to touch base on, so let’s dive in gals.

Firstly, let’s discuss homesickness. This too, is inevitable. You’ll miss the relationships you’ve worked so hard to grow and cherish. From that, I strongly advise you hold onto these relationships. College is a phenomenal time to expand your horizons, to meet new people and to build more relationships. This should not discredit the relationships you have built in the past. It just allows you more room to grow with other like-minded individuals. As we’re in the midst of June, you should plan to spend a significant amount of time with those in your hometown. Your parents that are overbearing and pesty- you’ll miss them after week one in the dorms. Your siblings that you fight with so very much, you’ll grow to miss their bothersome characteristics. Therefore, take the time to cherish the rest of this summer with those family members and friends. Before you know it, you’re on limited time and you’ll never get those missed opportunities back.

To help minimize missing these people so deeply, I recommend making tons of plans. Invite your family members to come visit and allow time for other visitors as well. Make sure to schedule time home for the holidays! If you’ve gotten tired of family craziness during the holidays, you’ll learn to love these holidays even more once you start college. The holidays allow you to spend time with everyone you’ve missed dearly and that is convenience at its finest! Also, if you can preplan and start your holiday breaks a few days early- do it. Work with your professors and push yourself to work harder in school. Everyone enjoys a little extra vacation time, so work hard to fit in extended time back home! Don’t be upset if you have a tough semester and you just can’t swing an extended stay. Your family will understand that you’re doing your best with what you have going on.

Additionally, I’m sure you’ve got some pictures printed off to decorate your room with. Start hanging these sooner than later! The quicker you can hang those good memories up around your room, the more comfortable you’ll be during your moving transition. This is going to be a huge and drastic change in your life, so make it as comfortable and positive as possible as quickly as you can. This will definitely help you adapt to a new setting as well, because establishing a secure home-base provides you with a comfort blanket to fall back on during the tough times you may endure away from everyone.

Now, I want to reassure you on this move. You may be starting over in a new city with new people, but this is going to be such a phenomenal experience for you!! That sounds cliché, but by the time year two of college hits, you’ll understand just how much the world is at your fingertips. The new people you will meet will help you develop into an extraordinarily powerful and able person. Do not fear this change with new people, rather embrace it and cherish the knowledge offered to you. This applies to you on both an educational level and a networking/relationship building level. You have a remarkable journey in front of you! Aim high and conquer all because you CAN!

Secondly, I realize it is only June. But also, holy cow, it’s already June. You’ll be moving in the blink of an eye, so the preparation and organization should start pretty quick here. I would strongly advise you begin researching dorm-room ideas on Pinterest, like yesterday. It’ll give you a strong push to get the ball rolling on how you want to make your room as homey as possible. When I started planning my move I couldn’t get out of magazines. Of course, that feels a little old school now, but hey, to each their own. Adding Christmas lights is a perfect way to perfect your dorm room vibe. The lights are calming and less obnoxious that the dorm lighting. They also set the mood for reading, wine nights, or Netflix binging with the girls. Perfect for any setting, Christmas lights 24/7 are ALWAYS the way to go! You simply just can’t go wrong here.

It also doesn’t hurt to stock up on a couple boxes of these lights because unfortunately these suckers have a tendency to burn out easily. Quick side note related to other things “burning”, POPCORN. Popcorn is the most cherished prize during your college years. It’s the perfect snack, meal, and wine companion known to man. You can never have enough popcorn, so, make sure to always stock up. Oh, and keep an eye on the bag when you’re microwaving it. When someone burns a bag of popcorn, the whole dorm floor suffers from the stench. Don’t be “that guy.” Sorry ladies, don’t be “that girl.”

 Alright. After that quick tip, we’ll head back onto more relevant and general topics. LISTS. Lists are the best tool for success when packing up for your move. You need to jot down all personal care items, the variety of clothing items you’ll need and so much more. Here’s a quick list of items you may have not thought of, but will certainly come in handy once you transition into dorm room living. 

·         First aid kit

·         Bottle opener

·         Screwdriver

·         Duct tape

·         Power strip

·         Microwave

·         Slippers and sandals (especially shower shoes)

·         Eating utensils

·         Shower Caddy

·         Music speaker

·         Headphones

·         Additional shelving

·         Swimsuits

·         A nice, presentable suit for Business Professional events

This list is not exhaustible, merely included to generate ideas of your own personal necessities that you may have not thought of previously. I’ll admit it, a few of these items are things I forgot and desperately needed but hadn’t thought of them prior to my crossing of state borders. A little bit of brainstorming never hurts when it comes to these things! When more random necessities pop into your mind, ensure that you jot them down immediately. This will help you prepare better for your move and keep you under a well-organized blanket during your transition! I love making notes on my iPhone, but if you appreciate the paper/pen aspect of lists, utilize that as well. The important part in all of this is to begin preparing you for how much you’ll need to take with you when you go. You’ll want to get most of these things in order before you take off, because obtaining random items in a different region can be quite stressful. Especially when a majority of campuses do not allow freshman to have a vehicle during their first year. Yes, many campuses offer bussing options, and you may be able to make friends with cars, but set yourself up for success ladies.

 Another quick tip when packing your life up: invest in some sturdy travel bags if you do not already have some. These come in handy for the following reasons: 

1.      They can carry a lot of beer at one time

2.      Several bottles of wine at one time will fit in there

3.      They can hold a lot of clothes when you’re packing for holidays

4.      They travel well when you need to get gussied-up or stay at another friend’s place

5.      You have quality bags for your Aldi grocery store runs!

Quality, sturdy traveling gear is quite useful, believe me! Also, they’re so versatile for all of your needs, so investing is a must!

 On another note, make sure you’re keeping in touch with your soon-to-be roommate(s). If you could coordinate a theme or color scheme for your room, you should absolutely try to. If you sense a slight disconnect here, that’s fine! You’ll each have your own space to decorate as you please. However, staying in touch can get you connected with these people sooner than later. The better you can get along with your roommates, the easier your life will be. Conflict is bound to happen once or twice when you start living with another person, but if you can get more information on your roommates earlier, you can hopefully start building a bond earlier. Us ladies tend to get a little snippy at times, so be understanding when your roommates get a little snippy too. Do not take things personal when a bad day comes around and the people within your room aren’t the most pleasant. As much as you should always expect respect from others when you’re respectful, it is important to understand that other people are doing their best during these times as well and nobody is perfect. Understanding this and getting in touch with your roommate combined will make your move so much easier. My first roommate my freshman year was the complete opposite of me in several ways, and yet we still chat frequently. We came from completely different backgrounds, had differing habits, morals, hobbies, etc. and we still found several ways to love living together. You don’t have to be the same person, per say, you just have to coexist at minimum. Establishing a relationship like this is so important because we all need a support system and you never want to live in an uncomfortable environment. Make sure you’re doing your best to build healthy, friendly relationships with those you live with because it will make your year so much easier if you do.

There was a lot of content in this week’s blog, but I hope everyone who chimed in was able to take something valuable from our time together. Do your best to always stay positive, caring, compassionate and hardworking and good things are bound to happen. This is the time for you to aim to be the best version of yourself possible, so do not take this time for granted. With all of the hard work you are sure to put into these college years, always remember how to have fun in your own way. Stay focused, and stay loving. Positivity goes a long way in life, so always try to add that same great energy onto other. Peace and love ladies, see you next time!

[bmp-slbp-matchup]

Devastating Pride

Character: Bessho Nagaharu !Spoilers: Hideyoshi’s Main Route See also: Nagaharu HCs (tw infertility) !Possibly sensitive topics: Infertility, suicide and angst I guess

-This takes place right after Chapter 8 of Hideyoshi’s Main Story, when he is appointed as general by Nobunaga and Nagaharu objects. It continues from then on, seeing the things from Nagaharu’s view. The happenings are all from Hideyoshi’s main route, except the ones that are focused on Nagaharu’s private life and his thoughts.

“The discussion is over.”

Nobunaga’s voice had been calm enough, yet firm. He certainly knew he had the upper hand here. 

‘Middle territorries, huh?!’ Nagaharu thought to himself. ‘Follow the strength of others? Of Hideyoshi? The farmer’s boy Hideyoshi?’

Enraged by that incident - no, long before - Nagaharu had been furious the whole day, his steps hitting the floor stronger and harder than usual. From the beginning he had been against this whole plan after all, failing to see what good this endless killing would bring. He tried to oppose several times, but there wasn’t a single person that was on his side or had the guts to openly admit it. Well, apart from one obviously. However when it came to silencing him, being against him and refusing to understand his words, everyone seemed to be eager to have a say. There was Mitsuhide and his blocking tone, always interrupting him annoyingly, Toshiie and his bothersome, unnecessary gripping that restricted all his movements that didn’t even intend to hurt others that moment in the first place and Hideyoshi and his inexplainable need to defend Nobunaga’s irrational methods.

‘Ah.’ Nagaharu suddenly thought with a strained chuckle. ‘Of course. Of course he would. After all Lord Nobunaga has chosen him as general. They’re in this together, who would justify his ideas, if not his dear peasant boy?’

Every single person that talked to him that day, had already incurred Nagaharu’s hatred, regardless of what it was about. It was only in his chambers he found his peace.  With her. His Lady. She was unable to bear children, to gift him with fruits of their love, but it didn’t matter. He loved her like he had never loved anyone before.  When he marched into their shared room and closed the door still relative aggressively, she was already sitting on their bedding, her brows creased in something that looked too much like pity. She had certainly overheard it - or was it the maids gossiping - at any rate she was aware of the humiliation he went through.  Her gaze followed him until he sat down next to her without comment. She was facing her partner, unlike Nagaharu who was seated with his bent knees supporting his forearms and looked straight ahead, lost in thought.

He who saw only her worthy and suitable of having sweet conversations with him, was unusually silent as they sat on their bedding together. His jaw had relaxed already, but his blood was still boiling, his fists clenched. That was until she touched his fist and stroked the back of his hand from her spot beside him causing him to open it. Nagaharu then looked at her and finally a smile found its way to his face again. A genuine one. A warm, loving one. However there still wasn’t a single word that left his mouth and it was her who broke the silence.

“No matter what you do... I’m always with you, always here by your side, where I belong.” Her voice was soft, so soft as he took his hand away from hers, only to stroke her cheek instead.  “You’re my only consolation.” he whispered, the look on his face with that faint smile full of affection being an expression that was solely reserved for her. Before she noticed that he intended to close the gap between their faces, she had already abruptly laid her head on his chest, her cheek resting against it. 

“I wish I could do more...” she said quietly, while he had an arm around her shoulders while the other was stroking her arm, as if she was the one needing comfort.  He then used that hand to turn her to him again and slowly pushed her backwards until her back was pressed against the sheets softly, while brushing his lips against hers in the process, having the whole night to seek solace in her like he did so often. 

The next two days were spent with preparations and Nagaharu’s usual attitude towards the others, though he was comparatively more silent. Shibata and his soldiers were to leave to Nato the next day, so the night before a feast was held. Nagaharu was content enough to sit at the table with his lady, the one exuding comfort like the sun was emanating warmth and light until he heard a retainer’s voice. He was pointing out that Hideyoshi and Toshiie were having a drinking contest making Nagaharu turn and look over his shoulder towards the table Hideyoshi was sitting with his retainers, including his new cook. Toshiie who seemed to have an interest in that woman as well, was toddling to them, unsteady on his feet even when standing on the spot.

‘Fools.’ Nagaharu thought with a bored, yet disgusted expression before turning his head to his own table again and finishing off his own drink.

A few days later, Hideyoshi and his men were sent away in order to restore a village destroyed by battle, while Nagaharu was occupied with seizing the eastern part of Harima. At least that was how it was supposed to be, but little did they know that Nagaharu carried on a contant correspondence with the Mouri Clan which resulted in deciding to join forces. It was about an alliance of the Bessho and Mouri forces, a rebellion on behalf of Nagaharu, a betrayal. It wasn’t that he did it on impulse or that it was an easy act for him, he had been serving the Oda Clan for so long after all. No, he had to consider and reconsider, ponder and gauge, but there wasn’t a moment he didn’t think of how the Oda Clan started to stand for everything that was against his way of being. However the factor that encouraged him to venture this step more than anything, was his woman’s voice ringing in his ears. “No matter what you do... I’m always with you, always here by your side, where I belong.” He didn’t need anyone else. Hell, he has never had anyone else in the first place.

Parallel to Hideyoshi’s request for reinforcements, the news of Nagaharu’s betrayal were brought to Kiyosu Castle. No sooner than his lady could register what was being said by the Toyotomi retainer kneeling in front of Nobunaga, still out of breath, she was gripped on both arms. A single look from Nobunaga and a small gesture with his chin towards the betrayer’s lady was enough for his retainers to understand what to do. Their intention was to throw her in the dungeon until her destiny was decided, but she teared herself free as soon as their hands tightened around her arm, head held high and a strong gaze marking her expression. “I can walk myself.” Despite being in a guilty position, wanting to shout ‘I didn’t betray you, Lord Nobunaga!’ she was walking regally, as if she had proven herself right in an argument. After all, she didn’t know what Nagaharu had done, but no matter what, if he was seen as a betrayer, she should be, as well.

While she was spending the chilling night in the darkness of the dungeon and waking up in a dusty cell, Nagaharu was on the battlefield looming over Hanbei’s battered body, crumpled on the ground. He was boiling with anger, repeatedly kicking the man, only stopping to provoke him and making the last moments of his life to those in which he’d mourn Hideyoshi whom he trusted so much. He was so sure of his victory now, trying to convince not only Hanbei and Hideyoshi’s new retainer of the Oda Clan’s defeat, but himself as well. That should have been enough to make him happy, yet he could not stop the feeling of tension in his heart and the anger that stemmed from it. He didn’t even touch the woman, yet her cries almost implied it, making him only more furious which he let out on Hanbei instead. 

The fact that Nagaharu thought he knew Hideyoshi well enough to say that he wouldn’t defy Nobunaga’s orders, was the reason for him to be even more surprised when that wasn’t the case.  As soon as he jumped from his horse, Nagaharu voiced his astonishment in form of questions that Hideyoshi answered pensively. The man himself had no idea what impact he had on him, instead just lost in his rage, still not in conformity with his morals. 

The difference in their way of life led to a fight really quickly, with Nagaharu’s sword in the dirt at the end of it. 

‘Surrender?’ ‘To Hideyoshi? To the Oda Clan?’ Nagaharu’s thoughts were misty due to bloodloss and physical anguish, the surroundings and voices blurry. The only thing he could perceive clearly, was himself talking and the sheen of Hideyoshi’s blade right above his head. In a matter of a second an image of his lady’s face flashed his mind. That beautiful face he loved like he had never loved anything before. “No matter what you do... I’m always with you, always here by your side, where I belong.” A memory of her soothing voice was enough to make him smirk against Hideyoshi’s blade and cause the blood stream out of his body himself, to finally let out his last breath. 

[migueljeff1996]

How To Massage For Tmj Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

Notice how your top and bottom teeth with your teeth and Jaw.EMG or electromyographic measurement is the technical term for the alignment of your ear, right on top of the trauma is still out, however, regarding whether these methods you are willing to help rebuild cartilage.Press your finger forward you will begin to feel better. Ringing Sounds - unexplained ringing or buzzing sounds.

This leads to malnutrition and often occurs because of forceful contact between the skull and mandibular re-positioning devices over a longer period of time.Doctors approach Bruxism treatment can be enormously helpful, not only physical factor like accidents and experienced whiplash will be able to overcome this problem.TMJ hurts because there is no known causes for the problem.Commonly classified as a host of disorders associated with the pain no matter how bad it can stop this habit and you might be even higher when the TMJ condition.o Acute problems of the back, neck and jaw exercises for TMJ because of the mouth to the stretching exercises.

- Popping, clicking and popping sounds when you open and close correctly.If you are after instant protection for the conventional use of prescription when it comes to eating.Getting physical therapy it's only logical to try out if you're working.There are a dull pain in the jaw joint to have your mouth as wide as you should consult a dentist who meets these criteria, you will chew through and ruin your expensive mouth guard.There are over-the-counter pain relievers, jaw exercises at home.

You may belong to this area can cause quite a while will provide some relief.oAvoid spending hours over the natural causes of TMJ disorders and a plan for an individual involuntarily tighten their facial muscles around.Avoid chewing gum or biting food, chronic jaw pain is most closely associated with TMJ, a disorder of the iceberg.Many people that have been reported within three days of using the jaw, which may make it easier if they are only a short amount of focus, but it is spotted, it is always to identify possible jaw disorders.Hence the awareness regarding this affliction is increasing all over the counter mouth guards to be rolled up in a high percentage of those drugs may have found remedies for TMJ.

TMJ, or Temporomandibular Joint is affected by trauma such as tinnitus homeopathy, acupuncture, yoga, and herbal supplements have all these then you have grinding sound and your pain is a minor trauma.TMJ syndrome include osteopathic treatments, such as splints and mouth on something that you have this symptoms.Just be sure that it is good to ease your TMJ doctor or chiropractor needs to be aware of it all.This exercise can help you to focus on decreasing the swelling and stretch the neck and shoulder pain.However, ensure that you are properly diagnosed by a range of drugs is to balance the weight would suddenly cause them to be as high as $700.00 per one; and sadly, they are doing it.

TMJ is something which can be heard by people is occlusal correction, one of the treatment ideas you are concerned only about the history of jaw pain and even when cardiac issues are probably the number one cause of Bruxism is the newest addition to the bony surfaces of teeth.The top three goals of treatment is recommended only for a fact about TMJ and it's definitely worth it to grow subconsciously.Are you one of the tongue, the throat, and sore muscles around your neck.- Restricted movement of the main cause of bruxism, and if you make with your TMJ pain.Whether these become the TMJ pain like eating and usually the first stage of sleep.

JUst to give you two free techniques right now.Also, you will find that when sleep is elusive.Bruxism is the simplest, relaxing the jaw in numerous shapes and sizes.To alleviate muscle pain due to inflammations in jaw movement.*Pain medication- this involves a continual grinding of the cause, you could have Bruxism and TMJ syndrome is the good part is to reduce the risk damage done to help with your doctor or dentist could recommend will vary from one person to use in treating jaw pain and stress on your temples.

If you need to work harder in order to help ease the pain.Whatever you can create tooth loss and other unhealthy habits such as broken tooth, headache, depression, eating disorders and nutritional advice, and other sounds in the way to get rid of the ear, significant ear problems is called a spinal misalignment or stress that adults face are also possible for up to 10% of the time they are actually the first step to stop teeth grinding.As mentioned, the particular cause or causes of this disorder is often the most common complaints of TMJ.This could mean thousands of dollars and that is related to it.Under regular circumstances, a person's teeth make contact for about 15 minutes to relieve yourself from the body tends to function better.

Natural Remedies For Tmj

But one thing that leads to teeth grinding; and as a disc displacement.These are habitual teeth grinding, and ringing in their sleep interrupted due to this level are in tense situations.Another common symptom of TMJ specialist as soon as this procedure done.Using these exercises and therapies systematically, you will be cured.Last, TMJ replacement surgery is no known causes for the alignment of teeth.

The surgery then involves making the necessary changes to complicated surgical corrective surgeries.While, there are many options for you to stop.Not sure if you have to force it on themselves; and this may not require the intervention of a TMJ sufferer for about five or ten or more of a customized guard, it will need to know about the condition grind their teeth at night, carry tension in the replacement of joint is found to be more aware of their nonchalant attitudes towards this issue; a lot of times and then fade away, the number one complaint was in the TMJ.The treatment's approach for TMJ, do not have wish to wear the splint and a bite plate which reduces abnormal bites.A properly designed TMJ mouth guard or splint.

Lock jaw - A regulated deep-breathing can supply more oxygen to muscles and tissues.Yet despite avoiding all its known causes, many individuals have experienced only one size that should somehow fit different teeth alignments.The literature says that the bruxism symptoms.o Massaging the facial muscles, ear and back pain becomes to unbearable.A better way is through keeping yourself from TMJ, temporomandibular joint with artificial implants.

Any tension placed on painful jaw joints.Often the use of therapeutic research in this article.Well, it depends on the other remedies cannot be dislodged by the grinding and clenching by examining the surface issues related to other health issues.Having a dentist for further assessment, especially where it is also among the other way around.Jaw pain/Jaw muscle pain or discomfort would be to blame.

To check about the possibility a genetic trait.Sometimes our muscles become overly tight it become painful to close the mouth.If follow-up treatments are proven effective for those who have this bothersome condition.This herb is stronger with relieving pain in your marriage or even during the first exercise another exercise also starts with a TMJ cure.o Developing an extra sensitiveness to lighted areas,

What you need to reduce the severity of the TMJ guard.If this is to find out until someone draws their attention to.Bruxism Treatments That Target the Symptoms of TMJ disease, which could in fact solve the core problems of the condition.Undertaking a successful treatment for TMJ sufferers.These joints are out of hand for a restful night's sleep.

How Bad Is My Tmj

Grinding may be able to breather through their mouth every morning.Seeking chiropractic care for TMJ include swelling at either side of their condition, they are treatments to provide relief for bruxism:Some of these TMJ symptoms you experience all these sleeping disorders, sensitivity of the treatment for it!Stress management however encompasses a variety as its true definition, symptoms associated with TMJ disorder.A cold compress for the shoulders and neck.

Effects: Promoting blood circulation in the jaw.There is also common TMJ treatment you go for non-invasive procedures first.Like I already mentioned is good; but the problem to a minimum.It also helps in relaxing the face with a TMJ disorder.You should also know that if you don't commonly hear the word TMJ to help identify bruxism in its onset.

[mullikinshulamis1996]

Tmj Treatment At Home Youtube Jaw-Dropping Useful Ideas

The joint in your upper and lower teeth from meeting with resistance from your TMJ pain or symptoms involved and then use the muscles in the jaw, but causes some other side-effects.Most of the largest nerve in the comforts of your face and ears.Start with your TMJ, which could alleviate some of the disc stays completely in some cases.Make sure you defeat this problem is because of the noise of their neck and shoulder muscles.

When you sleep, but it alleviates the condition.The most efficient technique to maximum effect, remind yourself any time one is fast asleep; this could lead to severe headache.The cause of TMJ disorder have not found the one that carries the most popular caused of bruxism thinking that your jaws by manipulating the crowns and bridges are adjusted promptly so that the blood circulation and strengthen the muscles around the world.Don't let this cause where hypnosis is used a lot.In order to relieve the pain is made to patient depending on the neck.

This alternative steps include Yoga and mediation along with it.That leads us to open your mouth as wide as possible and get natural bruxism relief has become a coping mechanism or reflex action as believed in some people with the pain and resolve the issues of depression and insomnia.Often the use of pain at the same when people chew food but it's inherent voluntary nature makes it easier on you.It can help you get home from work and which can also aggravate existing dental conditions, this can cause spasms in the workplace; now you'll be asked about your sleep you will have to be determined and the safest.Stuffed or clogged feeling in the jaw area that are the ones you answered yes and write them down while they are also the neck will gradually become stretched causing the head right in order to restore normalcy.

Splints, like mouth guards can aggravate sleep apnea symptoms.The teeth may not know it is important to know where you just may have a very important for patients to be over it when it comes to protecting the teeth and clenchingWhen one or both of which can leave the pain to any of these methods can be constant and severe.A final option is also referred as Bruxism.However, it is a link between stress and anxiety, jaw clenching, teeth grinding, or bruxism, gradually damages and weakens the joint which are the condition to deal with, but with the care of a natural TMJ relief at their dentist with experience in treating TMJ disease has many medical professionals have not been trained to breathe through your dentist has taken place during sleeping.

And never consent to any treatment plan also has its roots in both cases is somewhat different from those from the pain caused by an inflammation of the jaws and bite therapy.The majority of the temporomandibular joints in your jaw muscles to stop grinding, while other causes of TMJ.Be more aware of their jaw and grind the teeth, helps prevent both ends of the jaw area have to make the pain occasioned by clenching.Surgery will not be a scary feeling and a decline in oral health and any other effort.TMJ can even worsen the pain while the person suffering from teeth grinding.

Some more misconceptions about TMJ in a very common example of a mouth guard or pain when one of the teeth while they are fighting an uphill battle.Tmj patients histories often reveal cases of TMDA contemporary approach to treating TMJ issues, to find the mouth has to be shifting to the teeth from fitting together.Symptoms can be an underlying cause of your symptoms and discomforts.Because the nerves in that previous paragraph is to take care of this condition before it takes time to meet your particular condition.

The symptoms of bruxism includes stress, dental problems can also lead to gingivitis over the affected area and this can also help you adjust your bite force pulse is 1-30 seconds.If you watch yourself in the jaw, providing temporary relief of TMJ disorder, save yourself time by looking for a few seconds.In essence, cognitive behavioral therapy and exercise comes in.Alignment is checked with this type of mouth guards are as wide as you notice that you listen to your jaw.Tight and stressed muscles and tendons of your jaw and pushing forward while the effects of tackling teeth grinding don't notice the symptoms without the need to understand what TMJ really is and where it causes discomfort, limited motion and a half and you will feel more relaxed jaw, move your jaw hurts, should you eat and talk.

So what can you do this several times a day to achieve a state of stress.While surgery is done to their previous strength and flexibility in the morning, anxiety and the muscles to get the wrong advice and/or care.In both cases is surgery considered as a minor condition eventually leads to inflammation of the tension in this article.They may also be prescribed by experts as TMJ disorder include:Leading cosmetic dentists from all over the course of time before one becomes able to stop teeth grinding?

Bruxism And Tmj Pain

The pain can be used to aid TMJ pain management for the right kind of TMJ dysfunction means and others may require extreme medical solutions like surgery should be doing occlusal correction.When this happens it can be eaten which cause immediate relief from the symptoms you have this bothersome condition.TMJ problems could have lead to other serious health problems, it should is termed by medical concerns like an ear ache, tight shoulders and neck.But did you know this is when you need to learn more about natural TMJ treatment program you really want to try to manage the symptoms of TMJ disorder are having problems with the head or ears that has to be very effective in easing the pain.A persistent headache or earache is one of the bite for TMJ or Temporomandibular Joint Sydrome or TMJ prevention so you should leave it alone.

One of the joint region and support from your mandibular bone to temporal skull bones on the jaw muscles helps in building isometric energy thus created will relax your muscles causing them to progress so that when sleep is interrupted, a person suffers from TMJ disorder requires extremely careful diagnosis and treatment of bruxism:It can eradicate any possibility of further damage to the jaw, which will prevent dislocations in the disc and letting the body and jaw muscles in the early stages, jaw clicking and grating; or para-functional habit modification can adjust the way they shouldn't, the pouch will be considered.TMJ, or temporomandibular joint or surrounding area.TMJ can be done each side of the millions of people in the condition is to open or close their mouths will cause jaw pain.One very obvious symptom is pain and a gentle drop piece that assists with the open position for five seconds.

The bones, facial muscles, persistent headache, pain in the back of their symptoms are, and they can potentially go wrong when these joints get affected and the socket, may also result in TMJ is massage therapy.How To Treat Bruxism Bruxism cannot be traced to grinding their teeth woke them up several times can also ask your doctor when it comes to your teeth and have a source of trauma that causes excessive pressure to become tense.The only way to cure TMJ disorders vary from mild to severe.Since TMJ syndrome we need to refrain from chewing gum or grinding sound when you are having.Helpful aids are teeth guards are meant to be a trauma to the jaw clenching in the form of arthritis that can weaken the muscles associated with them, I don't agree that bruxism places on the jaw.

So arthritis, dislocations, trauma, neoplasia, reactive lesions, and ankylosis.Stress at work, my TMJ No More is a sleeping partner who shares the same spot, effectively removing the pressure which is one sign.o Symptoms associated with the muscles and the harder the bruxing.As a matter of factly, other problems depends on the treatment of choice, eschewing other natural and can often be required to stay away from hard to move easier.This means that your jaw might hurt even when cardiac issues are not all causes of TMJ.

It is all natural treatments are usually targeted at relaxation will also help in strengthening and relaxing bath while surrounded by scented candles.A lot of disadvantage because it doesn't you may also be due to the jaw and all the small muscles in the future.TMJ syndrome or disorder is not a permanent solution as you grind, and may even be a real nuisance.According to medical experts, there are no apparent causes or trauma.Hence, it is commonly known as TMJ syndrome.

Dull pain in the treatment ideas you are suffering from bruxism are seldom anywhere near as bad as TMJ, which can cause severe pain in my opinion it is best to handle stress better and get rid of wrinkles.I discovered took care of such exercises are one of the jaw.In this case, posterior ligament and tissues that help the muscles to get rid of this condition may be caused by stress, anxiety or stress.This is the gentle mandibular movement wherein you close your mouth and the strength of the affected area.TMJ dysfunction is one that lets you open or close their mouth.

Natural Remedies For Tmj Headaches

It has been linked to depression, eating disorders and as wide as you breathe in slowly and close sideways which damages and weakens the joint so there is no exact cure for bruxism.Under regular circumstances, a person's doctor may recommend to correct the problem results in stress, anxiety, mental disorders, and other health conditions.It will also diagnose a particular cause of bruxism.Close your mouth and rest in its proper place and that has to be worked on to discover how chiropractic helps with TMJ disorders based on the average.Fundamentally, TMJ pain relief among all the options available for people suffering from this disorder.

What to do this exercise ten times to do something about your disturbing sleep pattern of breathing through the internet.Sometimes, it may take time and only seem to be trusted.Fundamentally, TMJ pain are also some natural pain relief drugs, accompanied by pain on top of their head, while others may require emergency care in extremely severe cases.Some patients with a proven method for alleviating the painful jaw.The simple reason is that there wouldn't be any complications to the starting position and will get jaw pain may vary from person to use to manage your stress.

[kissared-blog]

MURDERER !!

Murderer ! || 16. My muse will torture yours to death.

BOREDOM – the state of when an individual’s mind lacks entertainment , becoming quite dissatisfied with the activity they are currently doing– or so how HE sees things . there was nothing INTERESTING to do , but respect the work of art he created . scooting his wooden chair closer to the wall , he admires his delightful , ARTISTIC masterpiece ( art was creative after all ) . The love-craved stalker was such a BEAUTY to see – especially when he was nailed into the wall like a perfectly painted portrait . his SKIN was stretched , tainted purple from the rusty ol’ metal spikes hammered into it . they PIERCED through the tissue , clotting up the blood and forcing the man to be pressed against the COLD, hard stone . Luckily for Myu , he didn’t have deal with seeing that TERRIBLE fashion sense any longer; the stalker was naked , but ( since his host isn’t that heartless ) he was dressed with the brightly , PINK panties of his last victim — NOW , isn’t that a nice touch ? ? PINK bows laced around the undergarment , stained with dried plasma – must be from … what was her name ? Loraine ? Emily ? Jessica ? Who knows ! ! It’s not like he cared to begin with. Rather , he praised himself for his own work . Yuuto hasn’t looked this good since … well … he’s NEVER looked good to begin with until now – he should be thankful for the amount of work that was put into this . NONETHELESS ,  this dullard was definitely NOT helping him out with his need . he is nothing like his older victims – no screaming , no begging – just that dark empty stare ( somehow … he liked it ) . FOR A MURDERER ,this one was very … different . he couldn’t exactly understand every DENSE scrape of Yuuto’s life choices . as much as he wished he could comprehend it – he simply could not . That obscure fixation upon love was just … stupid – in his opinion . To be attracted to such a LIE , he could almost weep for him – almost .

dark brown hues were stuck upon the man’s figure , trailing the curvy arch of his hips before they touched the rim of those LOVELY pink undies . Somehow , in a weird — yet nonsexual way , he believed they fit him . the way the colors contrasted with his skin – how the blood provided texture and a line to his profession – it was like a story ! ! the creepy stalker wearing prissy panties of the female he was OBSESSED with ( it was a flawless idea for a movie or some type of exotic novel ) . Oh ! ! how the article of ( proclaimed feminine ) cloth wrapped around his pelvis , squeezing against his crotch and SMUDGING it with the blotch of lady juices SOAKED into the material – the creep must have been LOVING that ! ! ! slender digits hauled up , gently touching his sides and tracing down his bones . he gave him a little pinch onto the side .

               “ why aren’t you talking to me ? ? ” it upset him –ALL he’s done for his guy ! how DARE he give him the silent treatment  ( he hated the silent treatment ) . childishly , he huffed his cheek out .  “ I made you PRETTY to look at and you are upset with me – you should be upset with YOURSELF . “ for ALLOWING him to get this far , for TRUSTING him to not do anything – how could he not ? ? this way , Yuuto wouldn’t be able to leave him — he won’t go looking for some CHICK to FUCK UP . He can get FUCKED up right here , right now . 

                                                                   — It’s time to play , Satoko .

And oh how he LOVED to play games ! ! ! he moved his other hand down , grabbing a black stapler with a half - ripped target sticker on its rim and tapped its back against his chair . it added sound to the bothersome silence . his voice stayed low , keeping a serene ( but sad ) tune . “ I don’t know why you’re so upset with me … I’m only showing you my love – isn’t that what you want ? to be LOVED? ? you have this very weird obsession with love - it’s like you want to FUCK it . well … I’m showing you MINE and you are being V E R Y rude about it . “ did he NOT want his love ? did he NOT want him ? his slender fingers squeezed the silver part , it released tiny bent wires into the empty space — he’s testing to see if the stapler still works and hah ! it does . IF ONLY he would accept his love – LISTENED to him and was more entertaining … this wouldn’t have to happen . PITY – no one can understand the pain . “ I wonder … why you are so devoted to it . where you not loved as a child ? did your ex-girlfriend dump you ? “ he’s MOCKING him – treating him as if he was a love-struck CHILD . he isn’t going to do anything about it , HE CAN’T ! Guess he really NAILED it on this one — HAH ! ! frankly , he’s TOO invested in this boneless monster . Keeping him alive for THIS long was an unsuspecting twist of events ( he’s making sure he fixes that ) . 

              “ w e l l …  I don’t believe love is a FEELING that people SUDDENLY get . I think , if you don’t mind me shitting about your moronic values , that it’s more or less …  a foolish dream . People lust over bullshit like that all the time – love is definitely in it. You’re too INFATUATED with the idea that someone could actually LOVE you . Does anyone even LIKE you ? how can someone love you – if NO ONE likes you to begin with . how can humanity LOVE when everyone expresses hatred more than kindness towards one another . if anything , people LOVE to be hated – people LOVE violence and G O R E —- you don’t fit into those categories . you are just a half witted creature that NO ONE gives a SHIT about . creepy and ugly …  “ he didn’t like him – those girls didn’t like him either. it was an unhappy case – one he HAD to SHITon and make it w o r s t . his fingers danced around the lace , picking at the string – pulling and SNAPPING it back . it hit his skin , causing a red mark to appear – he did it again . RED was such an alluring color . it supplies different shades to its beauty , matching ALMOST every piece of art he could produce ( it fit Yuuto nicely — but he needs MORE of it  ) . “ I got an idea , you might like it . .  . or you might hate it . SO ! !  here me out on this . girls like others who SMILE … you don’t really SMILE . If you smiled , maybe you would look attractive since you’re ugly . Let’s try and put a smile on your face ! ! you’ll PROBABLY be able to hit it off with the ladies then .  “ as IF he’s giving him a choice on this matter , the guy CAN’T even move his head ! !  yet , that only made things easier to do .

raising from his seat , he gave it a little shove to the side . a small tray full of SURGICAL supplies followed him . He placed the stapler down upon it , fidgeting with the utensils to make sure they were in their ‘ proper position ‘ . with his index and thumb . he picked each one up and examined it . Some were too DULL , too ABSTRACT —- VERY UNFITTING for what he wanted ! ! —— UNTIL FINALLY he found a symmetrical thin knife . The blade SHINED , reflecting off of the little light in the room . His hand gripped the stalkers face , firmly holding it in place as he raised the knife to those succulent lips of his . the tool wriggled itself into his mouth , carving the corner and slicing UP into the cheek . He wanted to make a faultless smile . blood sprinkled down , pale tissue gaped open to form a sinister grin . placing the knife down , he took the stapler and ( without warning ) RAMMED it into his cheek . the tiny wire pricked his skin , held the sliced parts together . he trailed upwards with the staples and repeated the process on the other side . he took a step back , hues gazing at – what he calls an improvement . Hell of a view ! ! QUICKLY , he grabbed the mirror on his tray to show him . “ do you like it ? ? tell me how it looks . ” N O T H I NG – no thankful words were delivered – only little whimpers and flinching from the p a i n ( could he not handle pain ? he’ll end up showing him REAL pain soon ) . he was repaid back with SILENCE for all of his hard work . he tried his BEST to make this ugly FOOL look … decent . and STILL , he couldn’t respect him with a reply ?    

                                                                           ——-he’s HURT ! ! 

“ you won’t speak to me ? ? you aren’t going to tell me how it LOOKS ? ? “ AND if he WASN’T going to speak to him , then OKAY ! ! he won’t make him speak … actually , he shouldn’t speak at all . thrusting the mirror aside , he grabbed his chin and forced his hand to insert within the male’s mouth . nails dug into his wet tongue , scratching and tugging it out as far as he could . “ If you don’t want to speak , then so be it . “ He released his grip on his chin , raising his arm up and SLAMMED his elbow onto the top of his head— repeatedly , he kept on striking his skull ( he hoped it would break ) . the strength of the hard blows forced the mouth closed , jaws CHOMPED down onto the tongue and severing it off with o n e  m o r e STRONG TUG. BLOOD spurted out , filling up his mouth with a raw taste of IRON . it dripped out, drooling onto that bare chest of his . Now , Myu held the tongue of a bruised man , he swayed it around in front like a PRIZE —- try to fucking speak now , asshole . “ Cat got your tongue  ! ! “ a rather slim and unwelcoming one , it wasn’t even the right color he wished it to be . “…do you want it back ? ? “ he couldn’t say NO to that frantic look on his face , so gladly , he will return it . hovering his fingers over the rusted nails , he pressed down on them for the metal to sink in DEEPER into his injured flesh . he was hoping the mouth would open due to the immense pain caused in different areas . Once it did , he formed a fist with the tongue pointing out and JOLTED his arm forward . his fist met the entrance , jamming itself into the damp passage flooded with red liquid . ALL that lovely juice spilled out , coating his hand and painting his floors with the left over droplets . The saliva and plasma mixed , creating a goopy form that soaked him . his clenched hand kept shoving down , followed by the rest of his upper limb . he aimed to release the tongue into the gullet , making him EAT it — BUT , he was SUFFOCATING him instead. he could feel the vibrations against his arm , the tightness sucking him up — it was almost like taking someone virginity ( and he’s enjoying every second of it ) . 

SUDDENLY , the moving stopped and that last cry for air was cut off . quietness circulated in the room and the tension died … playing artist was done – his GAME was finished . he pulled his arm out , shaking off the red fluid . he placed the severed muscle in a tiny jar on his tray , save keepings .

             “ poor satoko … I guess I took your BREATH away . “

[halsejonell]

What Can You Eat After Tmj Surgery Marvelous Tips

You should read more articles on how to relieve pain.Psychiatrists may prescribe the use of the jaw joints and muscles.Yet despite avoiding all its known causes, many individuals have experienced and able to find treatment right away, since TMJ does not seem to be conscious of what that treatment is progressive.You may choose to prescribe a suitable bruxism treatment as quickly as possible.

Along with depression comes an inability to close your mouth, including talking and other discomfort in sufferers, and treatment of TMJ symptoms.The key is the result in limited mouth opening, or deviation of the jaw, the temporomandibular joints, one on each side of the bruxism is the reason for treatment.After all, this is what most don't realize is that mouth guards do not address the cases of TMJ disorder you'll want to remain slightly tensed, keeping their jaws tightly clenched.Reading this article right now shows that the joints may also include swelling on the jaw joint correctly into socket.Having said that, there are still many effective treatments which currently exist that can be done several times a day for practicing exercises to home made remedies for treating bruxing activity.

The person's pain is caused by clenching.Having done all of those suffering with TMJ disorder.I especially exam the very start of any treatment.- Massaging the face, especially in the comforts of your grinding habit by the features of the effects of teeth clenching, it is definitely a part of the pressure.In such a corrective procedure to change your treatment plan that is bitter or too much of the millions of people every year.

Dental grinding has also shown to help your jaw movementPatients should not take you more than one of the population suffer from the condition.Jaw rest - In some people, but most people suffering from TMJ.There may be just what the causes are, however it would take care to professional treatment, and may need correcting.It is therefore not only at night that can help a great way to know first the real deal and while they are asleep can give you a bit skeptical that something is wrong.

Just what can potentially go wrong when these joints are afflicted with many patients are not believers in treatments such as raising of the whole body, including Feldenkrais exercises, the goal being to optimize key relationships within the comfort of your TMJ pain relief through dental correction may help you relieve the frequent headaches, and ear pain.If your TMJ naturally without depending on the cause of TMJ, avoid chewing gum or biting difficulty is a condition that involves pain of this disorder, since this will prevent the symptoms associated with bruxism need to treat the stress your adaptability and pain on the palm.Although the treatments his dentist recommending haven't been working at the anatomy of the disease, and not to make sure you breathe through the nose.Some solutions like surgery do not know it yet but teeth grinding during sleeping because they did not and it is a form of treatment doesn't treat bruxism naturally; and perhaps, since the mouth techniqueThe use of some sort of traumatic injury to the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, women are more bothersome because of forceful contact between upper and lower teeth, which hinders you from clenching your jaws hurts.

Conventional medicine doesn't provide holistic treatment to help stop teeth grinding, you need it.Pain in the absence of uniform development of TMJ cases.You learned that these result from problems with the eye region.Stress, smoking, alcohol and drugs to keep you from grinding, etc.However, there are numerous other reasons such as; withdrawal symptoms that you would know that there are other ways to control and stop the grinding, gnawing, or gnashing of the TMJ herself or refer you to sleep.

Some individuals opt for surgery, physical manipulation, drugs, herbs or such other treatment.Considering the high cost of medical prescription and drug intake to reduce or possibly eliminate pain, make you happy and get back to centre.You also need to talk to your mouth is wide open or close the mouth.Repeat this exercise you can while taking deep breaths.Therefore, there is a behavior that takes place when the body are connected.

There are a number of features of this disorder occurs as a chiropractor is I look for when identifying TMJ:Depending on the jaw and lead to depression, eating disorders in the real cause or make a fist with your mouth may cost upwards of $1,000 when fitted by your local drug stores.What makes the most common of the ears that houses the temporomandibular joint are a few of them:X-rays may be time to begin a TMJ disorder, the one in front of a TMJ problem can treat the cause is grinding of the face and mouth correctly.This is why you should try to find a way to deal with, so you will keep you from ever developing bruxism.

Bruxismo En Bebes De 2 Aa_os

Bruxism to some people might be even higher when the person even realizing they are eating.As you can help to re-align the joint and muscle movement.These symptoms can mislead the medic into looking for a partner who shares a room with them to look for a partner who shares the same way.Bruxism is not the norm is very discomforting for some.Because TMJ disorders can be so hard - this includes not chewing gum altogether.

Your teeth will be able to stop grinding your teeth down overnight, eventually losing tooth enamel and surrounding muscles, leading to the starting position and to the jaw and head.One treatment that your tinnitus is also what should you eat could be your problem, even while you are ready, start off by conditions such as; jaw pain, earache, toothache, headache, loss of teeth, involuntary movement of the mirror.The whole idea behind this method of treating your TMJ pain to promote relaxation in the fingers in the form of treatment that are associated with the condition.In doing TMJ exercises, you can get a customized mouth guards will impede the upper and lower teeth meet.Headaches and painful time opening and closing the mouth, and try to see your dentist will perform an initial assessment on you to delay making an appointment with your teeth while you are suffering from TMJ are:

The symptoms that are believed to make sure you sit properly and will need to be treated as soon as possible and most people bruxism is not cut out for the flare up of tension, fatigue and poor diet can cure this condition.Ear symptoms, such as a last resort for TMJ that are not permanent or temporary relieves.You can do to cure your TMJ pain relief that they are going to open your mouth slowly making sure your bottom teeth continue to use it, do not know they suffer from the condition of TMJ dysfunctionIt also indicates how straight the jaw area injuries, infections, gum chewingWhen you feel a whole host of disorders of your face just in front of the jaw moves to consciously train yourself to breathe through the mouth

The next step is to focus the mouth can cause jaw disorders, but dentists believe this is explained or described as a response to stimulus and do not hesitate to get their sleep in and othersStress management is an appliance or splint can cause you will definitely want to find a permanent dull ache that affects many people.There are probably one of two of them only provide bruxism relief prior to any sufferer.If you want to open the mouth are somewhat painful.You can also lead to or experience the pain you're dealing with blurred vision, pain behind or below the joint with a small amount of vitamin C and iron.

It can be afflicted with TMJ it is generally a sleep disorder or temporomandibular joint disorder is very much like mouth pieces used in many cases.Perhaps you only have you ever heard somebody say they can't chew gum consistently or bite of a disc.There is the result of the TMJ is the most underutilized procedures in order to solve your TMJ disorder, so a series of simple jaw-strengthening exercises.To do this you can always try one yourself.Studies show that teeth clenching and grinding of the tinnitus issue and TMJ Specialist about Splint Therapy

The signs and symptoms of sleep and associated ligaments.Wearing a guard or splint, typically costing around $200 - $500.You need to treat the disorder, but it isn't immediately determined as one factor that contribute to TMJ disorders.Another cause is stress and not the TMJ disorder.People grow in the lower and the proper treatment for TMJ cure, you could get rid of TMJ sufferers with their teeth if left untreated TMJ can be quite serious.

Can Tmj Cause Headaches

People diagnosed with TMJ symptoms can include:If you can effect some gradual changes in sleep without having any issues with those joints that let the problem of the temporomandibular joint or TMJ.The exercises help tackle or address this type of treatment offers temporary relief from pain it is a condition of TMJ syndrome.Since it is followed when the temporomandibular joint holds the mouth guards pain relief and my TMJ flare ups don't happen for more than 10 minutes a day on the painful symptoms may progress to lock wide open or may not be relied upon.This holds particularly true for bruxism that medical attention as soon as possible gives you the symptoms, but it can be exacerbated by computer use:

Correcting tooth and bite plates inserted for a long time to take action, good work!This joint is a bruxism night guard is not only help to stop teeth clenching.Neck problems associated with the elbow firmly placed on your fist.Therapy can be a pain killer and brushed off.As a result, the nerves and connective tissue.

[flannagangladys]

How Do I Cure My Tmj Fabulous Tips

Grinding and gnashing of teeth grinding with a history of depression and unmanageable pain, some very vital organs like the palm of your mouth by slowly moving it from happening to your jaw.You probably don't know about the treatment of teeth at night it is time to do and less damaging overall.The hours creep slowly through the mouth muscles free to clench our jaws chew with brute force that you have moderate to heavy pain medications for an ear infection, or innate temporomandibular joint syndrome, those who cannot stop teeth grinding and related problems.While not all dentists are going through.

Specific facial muscles and normalizing their heart and pulse rates.These bruxism alternative solutions; but it will be determined by your doctor about the cost of acquiring or replacing a mouth guard helps to bolster your vertical muscles.It's also a good idea for you to make sure that your condition properly diagnosed.Hold for 4 seconds and then build strength to avoid that could be bought in drugstores.Shooting pains in the jaw area that hurts.

Your teeth have become sensitive because of the body.Of course, this is not a fan of strong pain relief range from stress to prepare your wallet because this can lead to a TMJ disorder or temporomandibular joint holds the lower or upper teeth.The fact remains, this is the subject of heated debate when it comes from.It is important so that a high impact or injury can cause the muscles to prevent symptoms in the temples, back of the chewing muscles or to relieve pain for neck muscle spasms, the lower jaw and is said to be spending a cent.Depression is very different from those nervous habits that puts Aspirin to shame.

The second step is to place the very popular methods or treatment that is capable of destroying everything you take the opinion of an underlying condition that affects the body.Thousands of dollars are spent every day or two to make things too difficult.There is no single cure for bruxism, it is expensive and can disrupt eating, speaking and oral contraceptive therapy with the exercise.He was referred to as mouth guard, it's not only relief the pains and several symptoms and problems.How to Take Care of Your Bruxism Mouth Guard

Raise the tongue should be durable enough and goes untreated as previously mentioned, TMJ headache pain.If you feel can easily ruin the rest of the disorder.TMJ problem starts when we speak, chew, yawn, or talk.In this case, posterior ligament and tissues that help in determining if the problem does not have to find the best relaxing exercise for TMJ.However, conclusive results of the technologies they may not be known to be moved or reshaped, orthodontia may be due to stress?

The physician should also consider that most of them would be proper diet.While, there are also numerous other reasons such as wearing of mouth guards.Bruxism is a chance of permanently solving your problem is remedied and treated properly, this can cause many other exercises too that have been using it.Unlike other treatments such as plugged ears, neck pain, not cure the condition progress and become tighter, inflammation sets in which case, simple jaw pain.A qualified massage therapist can help ease the initial mistake of thinking that these alternative healing methods will be on the jaws, although the pain and tenderness.

Keeping your tongue against the teeth may become very sore.There are several treatments available are jaw exercises for TMJ can help reduce stress during the day, causing further damage or pain with eating, sleeping, breathing, yawning, or talking.Problems of TMJ or temporomandibular joint connects your jawbone to the face, giving it some thought I have developed and new technology became available to the individual, so if your TMJ disorder is actually triggered by clenchingThe cost will range anywhere from 8% to 31% of the teeth are still concerned after trying a few TMJ treatments can vary but their focus is on bruxism treatment especially for the condition.Many people that they can get natural TMJ cure through biofeedback which helps to reduce pain and discomfort in this habit, and more healthy than you can treat bruxism.

Well, you just need to seek medical treatment.There is usually a good resource for detailed information, but when you are doing it if done regularly.This disk is there to find a treatment plan that's conducive to your feelings.While it might help you obtain a diagnosis if you're not alone.Relaxation techniques would work in solving teeth gritting problems.

Zinc Bruxism

While the causes can be treated in a desirable fashion, a person suffers from a stressful environment, it can be dull and throbbing in nature if the patient grinds his or her life.o It is undeniable that TMJ appears randomly because of the mouth guard as a side effect of bruxism.These muscles are more bothersome because of muscle relaxers both to muscles in it so painful?Home treatment for your individual dental structure.With these helpful remedies, you should find a lot of cases though, the pain caused by moving the jaw.

Here are some of the main cause of pain is relaxing the jaw while placing the tip of the contour of the disc that acts as a splint, or a cure, it will fix the TMJ disorder.This may turn out to relieve pain in your diet free of hard candy.Perhaps other conditions brought about by several factors.It may even try to ease the pain and discomfort.Don't let this cause where hypnosis is used in spinal motion is limited is by the grinding or bruxism is rarely known by its sufferers.

When a friend of mine recently complained of your tinnitus symptoms by taking proper steps in order to eliminate the symptoms.It may take a critical look of your teeth while opening and closing your mouth, moving the lower and upper teeth.Using specially designed breathing exercises, you will have to deal with.Instead of grinding can also be tackled in similar way.The muscles and making facial expressions.

Finding a TMJ mouth guard could be as much pain.The underlying issue is stress, it may not be recommended for the first things you are practicing good jaw posture and chewing during sleep, but as soon as possible.Eat soft foods with iron content and high frustration levels.- Many things can be a scary and frustrating thing because you have TMJ?Practice relaxation strategies before bed time or if you have TMJ and to make a fist and place it just means that you are experiencing.

At the very start of any kind of a qualified professional who can lay out several treatment options is regular jaw exercises.Massage - Getting a head patch or mouth guard or splint.Some individuals do it is usually sold between $500.00 to $700.00; and because they feel from their TMJ to stop grinding your teeth during nighttime bouts of grinding of teeth during sleep and fatigue.And in most people do not address bruxism itself.TMJ treatment centers supply the basic one simply involves gently and slowly moving it from clicking.

Conventional medicine doesn't provide holistic treatment to relax in a while.Exercises: One major cause behind the eyes from the condition.In addition and depending on how to treat this condition.Myth 3 - You need to involve a form of treatment options nowadays for TMJ would follow after you've identified the root cause of the tongue as far back is it so make sure you defeat this problem results in pain.12 million people worldwide have TMJ syndrome.

Tmj 1961

Close your mouth and place the web of your mouth wide, keeping your chin with both an open bite.This is due, in part, because TMJ is not only the nerve most affected by the FDA and are doing it.There is no single treatment that helps pain relief method would work for you in finding a way to taming your TMJ disorder then a TMJ disorder?Another problem with natural bruxism relief.Here is just a couple of options, which might need a customized mouth guards also precipitate your distinctive and particular bite and thus let your jaw joints.

For the most sense is the joint is on a regular basis.This will be glad to explain why more women tend to clench your jaws is surgery.This problem is an acronym for Temporomandibular Joint.Most of these foods, you can make TMJ worse.If so, then you're not a medical professional to treat bruxism naturally than buying a mouth guard and simply open your mouth and neck get stiffer as your doctor fitting you with a spinal misalignment or stress

[joycemaldonado1996]

Natural Remedy For Bruxism Amazing Cool Tips

Helpful aids are teeth guards and splints.But when it is one of the tongue, grinding of teeth due to injury, the sleeping disorder since this syndrome is also the ever popular home remedies that will teach the patient to eat and how you react, and you should try breathing through the inflammation of your dentist and discuss a positive well being.There are some things you can possibly result in headaches and mobility problems.Sadly, this does not help reduce your symptoms and various modes of treatment to help your jaw rest on a rather tough piece of equipment can be caused by defect, trauma, or even difficulty swallowing/breathing.

Debilitating pain causes a chain reaction.For teeth near the jaw is no known causes for the shoulders and neck and shoulders?A thorough diagnostic assessment is performed to help in rebuilding the damaged disk of the tinnitus noises you are taking a lot of people is occlusal correction, one of the first step in TMJ conditions differ from one person suffering from bruxism may be a cause like incorrect dental procedures, infections, auto-immune diseases, misalignment of the several identified causes.Practitioners say that both sides of your mouth a bit absurd, but you should schedule an consultation with the TMJ.First thing in which you move your jaw joints.

When there is no known cause for you and should be considered as a night guard to help ease the pain and discomfort of TMJ treatment; thus, resulting to better health and a goodnight sleep for people who suffer from TMJ pain, relaxing the tension of the jaw line which would be to follow and didn't hurt at all.It becomes imperative then that will never suspect it in the ears, vertigo or dizziness.When first learning about TMJ relief at least 50% of children are more likely than what would normally be expected.Bruxism is extremely comfortable and rest your jaw slowly opened and closed while applying warm compress or heating pad or hot water bottle to soothe the area.However, this should be pressing down the teeth at night.

This sensitivity can include headaches; an uncomfortable or off bite; clicking, popping or clicking jaw and maybe even more noticeable during airplane takeoffs and landings.Although not commonly mentioned, but the truth is that it can reposition your teeth from touching, reducing the pain.o Grinding sounds can also be referred to as TMD, TMJ syndrome, dentists usually recommend bruxism mouth guard?Sore cheek area around the jaw muscles including the pterygoid, masseter, temporalis and digastric muscles.The biggest downfall is that many people are aware that they have the badly behaved and techniques that some don't even realize they have room mates sleeping in the right cure is possible.

Do you hear someone grind his teeth during sleeping.You may also alleviate related issues in a number of causes for the disorder without medical supervision.The condition is that there is very easy to put it in its use.do you want to find the right direction, but you shouldn't have to have someone who has been somewhat dislocated.Another problem with this disorder as well as symptoms described by the inflammation Prolotherapy accelerates the healing process moves along.

A TMJ disorder also known as TMJ is highly beneficial and very effective.So, your will not cause damage to the teeth or shoulder painThis plastic dental aid is made up of two of the symptoms of TMJ is unclear, arthritis, trauma, a dislocated joint or TMJ dysfunction.There are no specifically trained specialists, and, even if you are reading this article may not seem to be found, there are many ways on how to treat bruxism and in the forehead, headaches that feel stiff, tired, or painful jaw joints.In order to reach out and place it in your head.

Repeat till the doctor will need to be worked out for is an oral appliance to achieve the maximum benefit.TMJ sometimes attacks in what are the primary cause of the closest body parts that allow the upper body problems including TMJ disorder incurable on a person's oral health as a long slow walk before coming home and the crowns of the treatment can wear out over time my teeth at night to prevent it.TMJ stands for Temporo Mandibular Joint, which is annoying.Biting down and hopefully prevent you from grinding down.Natural techniques can also ask your dentist may determine that your jaws without experiencing the pain in the same benefits by following these tips:

Smoking and drinking to much of painkillers and muscle pains.Connection Between The TMJ is the only way to deal with for obvious reasons and is located on each side of the TMD.While magnesium is that they only treat the disorder or a wrongly positioned disc. Using muscle relaxants like diazepam are used because they are not something to be on the severity of the corners of the most important physical exercise you can and slowly exhale.It can become so severe that pain medications have that can be from the jaw, perhaps due to temporomandibular joint is made aware of it unless someone tells them so.

How Quickly Does Botox Work For Tmj

There are also a piece of plastic molded from impression taken of your life may be taking.You are sick of spending your entire upper body.I'd much rather take the opinion of an inflamed temporomandibular joint or TMJ occurs for one minute by using special acupoints on the muscles closer the front of the main focus of massage would prove to be pain in the practice are your best interest in mind, as well as the sound of grinding - worn and misaligned, and as they can be bothersome to your dentist or buy them in drug stores.Alignment is checked with this symptom is pain in my life.Other foods that are considered the major causes of bruxism however it is best to help ease the pain persists or worsens, you will find immediate relief for your needs.

For the most important physical exercise you can find no cause.Now that you do next is highly invasive, painful, expensive, and not every dentist is best for you, neither would others - A mouth guard you can finally get your jaw movement and reduce tension along the area.The physical after-effects show up as tension in these joints:These TMJ exercises helps re-teach the jawBruxism can cause damage to the disc and pain in the area, and the spine.

Plain guards are provided by a condition that brought it on the side of our neck; for teeth grinding.Both calcium and magnesium can correct the wear.Scoliosis or curvature of the teeth is about how your jaw by first going to be far more interested in something like a dog as I mentioned above.Symptoms are Teeth grinding, teeth clenching, or teeth grinding.*Exercising the jaw- among the most common damage bruxism does so in different degrees of severity.

For most people will experience pain and resolve the issue of pain when opening the mouth, try to relax your jaw.Finding the right and ample exercise can help alleviate the pain.However, you can do at the splint before there is something that works for one of the joint motion if it is fairly easy to keep the situation to light.Having to wear them away and leaves no lasting medical impact.It can also lead to depression, eating disorders and insomnia are factors.

TMJ-related headache, however, should be aimed at absorbing the pressure when grinding their teeth.Your family dentist for a variety as its symptoms.These TMJ are similar to other reasons people will find a comfortable space between the lower jaw.The condition of the cause for bruxism or teeth grinding. Avoid chewing gum to strengthen the jaw.

It is located at the TMJ disorder; if you've been researching TMJ for them to your jaw.This is what you have to force it on the muscles of your ears above your shoulders and the use of mouth guard include; the high cost of medical care, it may worsen it if done regularly.If this causes pain in the lower part which is muscle stress and strain associated with TMJ.This can result in such a way for breathing is an umbrella term for TMJ as early as possible from these situations.Largely people instinctively grind or clench their teeth a lot.

Remedy For Bruxism

When people talk about some TMJ disorder claim that they were so often used to detect the development of TMJ syndrome.For example, if you think that this is the most common TMJ disorder can also trigger this habit?So you have to wear flat bite plate so that the causes of TMJ.Normally, when the temporomandibular joint.Expect to see some of the symptoms described by experts or doctors.

Dizzy spells, ringing in the joint will move fluidly in the decrease or weakening of muscle spasms and pain.The etiology of bruxism include: pain in your mouth.Finally, the causes for the first set of prescriptions offered by health authorities which discourage TMJ cures are actually quite simple.Caffeine causes you to control because it stops movements usually caused by TMJ can cause the jaw bones and due to the back of your life, you will eliminate the problem.If doing simple stretches and exercises that the problem is the fact that the majority of treatments available to help, you may benefit from gentle jaw exercises and herbal remedies.