#my brain is just like 'no.. no multiple tasks in one day... ONE single task.. for one week'

[reiderwriter]

📃 Desk Duty 📃

Unit Chief Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge 2024

Summary: After taking a bullet on a case, Spencer orders you to desk duty. After two months of pushing papers and his pushing you away for fear of hurting you, you've had enough.

Warnings: Established BDSM scenario, public sex, masturbation (female and male), mentions of sex toys, breaking and entering, multiple orgasms, squirting, shoe riding, slapping (ass, face, pussy), wet/dirty/messy sex, deep-throaring, face fucking, exhibitionism, risky sex, creampie, sloppy sex, pet play (puppy), Hard Dom Spencer, bratty sub reader, degradation (slut, whore, bitch used). Confessions of love at the end because I'm not a monster.

A/N: Hello, it's me, painfully single, back with another in a series of fics that I think will haunt my (wet) dreams for eternity. Thank you to @lightvixxen for requesting shoe riding all those moons ago, I am so glad we share in the same brand of brain rot. Enjoy~♡

Masterlist || Bingo Board

The first time you were shot, you were surprised it hurt so much. Of course, you knew it was going to hurt. You knew you'd eventually be shot. 

But the graze to your arm stung like a bitch, and had you whimpering on the floor of a warehouse like a small child who'd fallen off their bike for the first time. 

You'd picked yourself back up, and, luckily, the shot had avoided doing any serious damage, but you were relegated to desk duty for two months after. Just until you could prove you weren't traumatised, and there wasn't any permanent damage to your arm.

Two months of staying home while your boss gallivanted around the country, happily diving in front of bullets and jumping on bombs. Two months of staying home waiting for him to come back and rail you. 

You'd been sleeping with Spencer Reid practically since he'd become the Unit Chief, and with the announcement that there were only a few more weeks left until Emily Prentiss came back from her special task force, you were really losing time alone in the office you'd been enjoying the pleasures of one another in. 

Of course, there would still be motel rooms for you later, but soon he wouldn't have the keys to your room, making your secret trysts slightly riskier. You weren't sure you wanted everyone in the office to know just what it was the two of you were getting up to in your spare time. 

So, with your last two months of freedom relegated to desk duty, you sulked. 

Spencer was clear that he was leaving you behind so you could recuperate, but you didn't exactly expect him to go cold turkey. 

You'd been apart before, having been sent on separate inmate interviews, and you'd made do with a poorly connected video call, a dildo and your hands, getting all the inspiration you needed watching him pump his cock in his fist.  

But somehow, your injury had made him borderline chaste, and he refused to even touch you while you were still in - his words, not yours - recovery. 

It had been a month since he'd fucked you. Hell, it had been a month since you'd even seen his cock. A month since you'd had any kind of orgasm, first because your dominant hand had been out of action, and then because you'd felt so frustrated without him, you couldn't bring yourself to do it alone. 

He messaged you daily, called practically once every eight hours, and made sure you were eating and sleeping even from halfway across the country. 

But he didn't make any mention of your growing frustration, even as you tried your best to tempt him into sin. 

A month into purgatory, you'd started hinting at your own needs. Your teammates had taken a case in Atlanta, and you'd stuck behind a days drive away and heard absolutely nothing. 

You'd called, and Luke had picked up, making his presence known before you could royally screw up and beg for something to fuck. 

“H-Hi, Luke. I was just wondering how the case was going. Is there anything I can help with from the office?” You asked, stammering on the phone as you pulled your hand out from between your thighs. 

“You want to help? At 11pm at night?”

“Sure do! You know me… go-getter?” You stuttered the words, not even believing them yourself, biting your lip in anxiety and hoping that Luke would just think you were going stir crazy. 

“I'll hand you to Reid, he's been talking about some case files you might be able to help with.” 

“Thank you,” you said, breathing a sigh of relief. 

You heard the phone switch hands, and then you heard movement until the line went quieter, and Spencer's voice popped into your ear. 

“Y/N?” 

“I miss you,” you sighed before you could say anything else, fingers sliding between your thighs before you could think to stop yourself. 

“I miss you, too,” he whispered hesitantly, but you heard the smile in his voice as he answered. 

“You're working so late tonight, I'd hoped…” you trailed off, feeling your skin heat as your free hands lipped into your underwear and you touched yourself for real this time. 

“We think he's working under the same MO as the Night Stalker, like a copycat, so we're keeping to late hours. What's that sound?” 

“Nothing,” you said, giving your lie away almost immediately with a moan. 

“Are you… Y/N, are you touching yourself?” He asked, already knowing the answer. 

“I told you I missed you. It's been a month since you've touched me, someone has to do it-” 

“Stop it.” 

His words were blunt, and there was no hint of excitement in them, no telling if he was saying this so he could play a part in your unravelling. 

“What?” 

“Stop touching yourself. Y/N, you are not allowed to touch yourself.” 

“Not-? Spencer, what the fuck!” You exploded, sitting up from your comfortable position on the bed, set alight in indignance. 

“I'm the only one that gets to touch you like that, you're not allowed to cum unless I'm there,” he ground out, and just as you heard the smile in his voice earlier, you heard the frustration and arousal now. 

“Well, Spencer, if you'd have brought me along on this case instead of leaving me here, maybe you'd get a say in who gets to make me cum.” 

“Y/N, you're injured, and you haven't been cleared to fly. A doctor needs to-”

“You're a doctor. Technically. You could sign off on me. You could've had me right there in your bed tonight, but no.” 

He scoffed down the line, and you saw his face flash so vividly in your head that it pissed you off. He was hotter when he was angry. 

“Nice try. I tried that myself once, but it doesn't work. Now go to sleep and get some rest.” 

You opened your mouth to argue, but he hung up. His words lit a fire in the pit of your stomach, and you threw the phone down in frustration. 

He wasn't listening again, and you were sick of it, and you we're sick of pushing paper at a cubical when you should've been out in the field doing your actual job. You were sick of being celibate and at home alone, when you should've been in a dark corner somewhere letting your boss use your body, letting him pin you to the wall and work out his frustrations.  

You should've had your lips wrapped around his cock, you should've had his hands buried in your cunt, slapping your ass, his teeth teasing your nipples, something. 

Instead, you had your phone camera and a bed, and a personal vendetta against the word 'no' coming from Spencer Reid's mouth. If he wanted you to stop touching yourself, he'd better get his ass home and make you. 

Shedding your clothes, you set up your camera and began your week long crusade. 

The first video received a response in the form of a call you let go straight to voice mail as you recorded the second one. 

He didn't call again after that, but you knew he watched each and every video you sent. 

You knew he watched the video of you fucking yourself on a wall mounted dildo in the shower. You wondered if he let him imagine it was him, taking his cock in hand in the morning as he washed and prepared himself for the day. 

You knew he watched the video of you playing with your boobs alone in the elevator at work after hours. You wondered if he was still working late when he saw that one, or if, like last time, maybe Luke had grabbed his phone first and seen it before him. . 

You knew he watched the video you shot in his apartment. It wasn't that hard to get into, knowing exactly where the spare key was hidden and letting yourself in comfortably. You let yourself dress in one of his shirts and set the camera up, pushing a bullet vibe inside yourself, and turning on the camera, playing with the hem of the shirt and the sheets below until you finally flashed the camera and him the sight of your wet cunt. 

You filmed a few videos there, fingering yourself, spreading yourself so he could see just how far you'd opened yourself up for him, sinking down on to progressively bigger silicone cocks and mumbling his name over and over again. 

You knew he watched every video, even though you'd sent ten over the space of an evening. You knew he was likely somewhere stroking his large, hot cock, wishing he was buried deep in you, but too stubborn to let you know that now. 

The day after the case ended, you knew that his return meant punishment, but you couldn't stop yourself. 

An hour before the teams expected arrival time, you excused yourself to Spencer's office. The first time he'd fucked you had been in there. He'd pushed you over his lap and slapped some sense into you, spanking you until you were a drippy mess waiting for his cock to enter you sharp and fast. 

You'd since sucked his cock under the desk more times than you could count, and the view from the window was more than familiar to you as you enjoyed being pushed up against it as he took you from behind, the both of you revelling in the fact that anyone could see you defiling the building together. 

With half an hour to spare before he returned and ended your fun and games, you mounted the arm of his couch and began rubbing yourself against it. You rocked your hips slowly back and forth against it - as horny as you were, it was still embarrassing to be so horny you'd resulted to humping pieces of furniture to meet your needs. 

You'd thought about getting drunk and finding a random dick to take home with you, but it didn't interest you half so much as fucking with Spencer Reid did. You'd never had the talk about exclusivity, but you knew just as well as he did that you were locked in. He was your boyfriend, whether he realised it or not.

And now, you simply needed his cock so badly, nothing else would do. The closest you could get was a piece of furniture he'd fucked you on before. 

You slipped your panties off quickly as your timer sounded a ten minute warning, knowing his plane would be landing any second now. You'd factored in the walk from the jet to the office, praying to the gods above that he took the initiative to get ahead on paperwork instead of going straight home. 

You rocked back and forth on the arm of the couch until his door opened narrowly and he let himself in, just as your clit rubbed the corner of the couch and you moaned out gloriously. 

“Y/N,” he hissed as he slammed the door shut. You didn't stop even as he crossed the room and grabbed your hips, instead lunging for his lips and meeting them with your own. 

Your tongue clashed with him for the first time in a lifetime, and you whimpered at how good he still felt pressed up against you. His chest was a solid shield, and your puffy nipples pushed up against it, rubbing deliciously with each grind. His hands were large, his fingers long as they clawed themselves around your hips and drew you up.

“You just can't follow orders, can you?” He asked between kisses, between breaths where you weren't sure if he'd slap you or shove his fingers down your throat. “I should fire you,” he whispered as he reluctantly pulled away. 

“But Spencer,” you said, gasping jokingly as you pawed at the front of his pants. “Who would you fuck on cases then? Who would be your controversially young fuck doll?” 

You meant it to be a joke, but the slap he delivered to your ass made you think twice as you clapped a hand over your mouth. 

His hands roughly pulled you into him again, and you were unable to rise up enough again before he hit you again. You jilted forwards with a little moan and just gave in to the sensation, pressing your face into the pillows as your hips rose. 

“You're acting like such a desperate little slut, I don't think you deserve to even lick my cock. Fuck, I don't even think you deserve to lick my shoe,” his words cut deep as you realised how angry he was, his fingers tangling in your hair he yanked you upwards. 

“Wait, please - Spencer, please, I need-” 

“Need what? You need to suck cock? You need to put yourself on display in a public place? Need everyone around you to know just what it is we do when we're alone?” With each question, he worked on bruising your ass cheeks harder, until he finally pushed you to the floor, and you sank down, automatically spreading your legs for him. 

“Pathetic. You don't deserve this cock, baby.” 

“No!” You cried out, not willing to accept that outcome at all as you panicked. “I'll do anything, please, Spencer, I'll do anything!” 

You whimpered and cried out in real frustration and fear, knowing that he absolutely would kick you out if you didn't act fast. Spencer may have been fine with you taking control some days, but this obviously wasn't one of them. You sat yourself on your knees and clasped your hands together, attempting to seem half the serious devotee and half the irresistible vixen whose chest was accentuated by the movement.

“Okay. Show me just how much of a desperate slut you are,” he said, lifting his foot from the ground and nudging it between your thighs. 

Reluctantly, you widened your stance, spreading apart just enough for him to notch his shoe against your clothed pussy. 

“Ride my shoe, Y/N. You're such a good little boot-licker. It shouldn't be a problem, right?” As if to answer your own question for you, he bobbed his knee gently, and your clit ground into the edge of his shoelaces, causing a sharp, fast burst of pleasure to spark through you. 

You still were too shocked to answer, but he smoothed your hair from your eyes as he continued to bounce his foot, and you left all of your concerns behind, slowly grinding down. 

“What a dirty little slut, I didn't think you'd actually do it.”

Wrapping your arms around his leg, you pressed your hips up and down hesitantly, looking into his eyes as your mouth dropped open in a silent moan. 

“That's it, good girl,” he said, letting his leg go still as you did all the work, shaking your hips back and forth on his shoe as you gave him pleading looks, unable to form words for the overwhelming shame and embarrassment.  

“You look like a puppy,” he blurted out, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling it back, hard, exposing your throat to him as he watched you with curious eyes. “Like one of those puppies who gets so excited to see you, she starts humping you. So fucking horny and desperate. You wouldn't even care who was in the room with us, right now, would you? You'd just keep going until yiu came.” 

You gasped as he slapped your face, tongue falling out of your mouth as he inspected his little play puppy. He smiled, as if happy with your reactions, and leant back on the sofa, releasing your hair from his grip as you continued to struggle in vain toward your orgasm. 

It was another two or three seconds before you realised he was pulling his hard cock from his pants, and another moment or two before he slid his hands back into your hair and guided your dumb, stupid, wet mouth over the top of his cock quickly. 

You let him move your head just how he liked, let him push you down almost farther than you thought you could go. You ground your bare clit down into his shoe as you deepened your breaths, relaxing your body as you took inch after inch of his cock down your throat. 

His hands were wound so tight in your hair that there wasn't space to move. You gagged, once and twice, but he held you in place still, enjoying the spit that spluttered around the base of his cock, the spasms of your contracting throat against the tip and length of his cock. You breathed deeply, ignoring the feeling of his pubic hair tickling your nose, scratching your cheek as you flattened out your tongue under his cock. You wished he would move, wished he would give you the space you needed to cum faster. 

The desperation of the last few months built up and built up, and you knew that you were close to cumming, your hips rocking out of tempo now, crashing into his foot wildly, ass shaking as you felt his shoelaces rubbing uncomfortably against your thighs. 

“God, what a pathetic little bitch, are you going to cum? Cum on my shoe, whore, show me how fucking desperate you are.” 

You felt the exact moment your body convulsed against him, you knew the exact movement that made you cum, because you felt the flood of moisture pool underneath you as you squirted all over his floor. You made a note of reminding him to replace the rug before Emily returned. 

Your whole body shook as you sat in the pool of your own cum, but he refused to let you pull away. 

“Has my little puppy made a mess? What a shame. You can't stop yet, though.” 

His grip on your face somehow became stronger, though not unpleasant, as he pulled your head up the length of his cock. You spluttered slightly, feeling the tension slip out of you as he emptied your throat. You didn't have more than a second to react before he quickly snapped your head back down over his cock, down to the base of his dick. 

“Keep up, Y/N, this is what you wanted, remember.” 

You choked on his cock, and he smiled down at you, taking your gags for nods as he proceeded to fuck your throat, deep and hard. 

“So wet and warm for me, like a perfect little pet,” he said, hips already lifting off the couch as he tried to sink deeper into you. 

You knew from experience that he'd soon grow tired of the limits of your mouth. He liked to hear you. He liked to see you drooling rather than feel it on his skin. As much as he could force his cock down your throat - and you deeply enjoyed when he did - he could get deeper if he sank into your pussy and you both knew it. 

This part was just to lube his cock up, nice and wet, until he could take you nice and quick without having to touch your pussy. He needed you nice and wet and ready for him, especially on days like today where you'd been nothing but a cock tease in need of a harsh fucking. You deserved nothing more.

As predicted, he pulled your head off his cock after a few seconds and hauled you to your feet. You tried to climb onto him, to grip his cock in your hand and just sink down where you belonged, but he stood, too, lifting you up with him. 

“Window,” he said, and you knew he must be close if he was ordering you around one word at a time. You nodded, but he kept his hands on you, moving you to the window quickly. 

You knew he'd bend you over, take you against the outdoor window, whispering in your ear that anyone outside could see you if they just looked up. Instead, this time, he moved you to the opposite side of the office. The window he pressed you against was the one overlooking your desks, the one where, should he happen to open the blinds, every member of your team would be able to look up and watch you take his dick. 

“Everyone left,” he whispered quickly as he shifted the blinds up an inch so you could see. 

You breathed a sigh of relief noting that it was as empty as he claimed, but it didn't last long as he gently pressed his cock into your cunt, finally filling you how you'd needed to be filled for the last 60 days. 

“Fuck, t-thank you, sir!” 

All thoughts about the office below faded as he lifted your leg in his hand and let it rest on the edge of the window, pushing your face against the cold glass. Your office may have been empty, but that wasn't to say that there wasn't someone working late in the other departments, a janitor happening to pass through. 

You knew, but you didn't care as you begged him to fill you up more and more. 

“Just like that, just like that, yes!!! Fuck yes, Spencer I missed this, I missed you. Missed you so much,” you moaned as your hands slipped down the glass, already fogged with condensation, your hot breath hitting the cold glass. 

“Needed this? You've been fucking yourself nightly for the last week. You didn't need this like I needed this,” he moaned, biting into your neck with a sharp kiss as you moaned loudly for him.

“Two m-months. You haven't fucked me for two months, what else was I supposed to do?” 

He groaned in your ear again, reaching a hand around you and slapping your clit as he formulated an answer. 

“Rest, you were supposed to rest,” he said, thrusts speeding up as your cunt gripped him tighter and tighter the closer you got to your second orgasm. 

He groaned and pressed your face into the glass, holding you there and screwing his eyes shut as you both chased release. 

“I didn't want to rest, I w-wanted to be by your side.” 

His head rested against your shoulder as he felt the last waves of pleasure race towards him. His hand pushed down to your clit and rubbed you, sending you right over the edge with him as he filled you with his cum. 

Neither of you could stay upright, collapsing down to the floor in a heap. Usually when he came inside you, he waited a few moments to pull out so he didn't make so much mess when he did. But in his exhaustion, in your shared bliss of finally reaching that precipice after so long, he slipped out early, as cum was still shooting from him. 

You heaped together on the floor, chests heaving as you lay on top of him, your peace only broken by a single thought. 

“We..-’ you gasped, breathing unsteady. “We need to deep clean this office before Emily comes back.” 

He looked down at you, a look so serious and shocked you wondered if he was angry. And then he laughed. Short and soft, he giggled, and you couldn't help but join in, wrapping your arms around your stomach as it began to hurt, chest heaving from the pain of all your joy. 

He sat up and gave you a hand up as well as you surveyed the damage. 

“The rug has to go,” you said, feeling hot and embarrassed as you noticed the new wet stain on the near offensive fluffy thing. 

“We should probably get some new throw pillows, too,” he remarked, and you nodded with a grimace. You made to stand up, but your legs felt weak, and you wobbled, but he was there to catch you, as he stood. 

"Maybe just a new couch," you muttered, flushed with heat as you remembered how you'd humped the arm rest not even twenty minutes ago.

He closed the blinds before moving back to the couch and sitting you down on his lap once again, such a familiar place for you to be these days.

“You….” He started, worrying g his bottom lip with his teeth. “You really missed me?” 

You startled, taken aback by the question. You thought the videos had made it clear, let alone the last half hour of intimacy. 

“I… Yes, Spencer. I missed you a lot. I always miss you.” 

“You… you do?” 

You nodded again and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. 

“Y/N, when I am no longer your boss, in approximately a weeks time, would you possibly consider being my girlfriend?” 

For the second time in the last two minutes, the man had you floored. And perhaps a little bit angry.

“I'm not… I'm not your girlfriend now?” 

“Hmm? Oh, I-” 

“Because I already told my friends about you, and I was definitely saying the word boyfriend, but if that's not what this is, I can correc-” 

You saw the panicked look in his eye as he pulled you in for one last kiss. 

“That's what this is!” he said frantically, cutting you off when you opened your mouth with another kiss. “I thought you wouldn't think that this was- no!” He kissed you again as you tried again to speak. 

“Listen to me! I'm o-older than you, I thought I had to ask still. Do people not ask anymore?” He kissed you before you could answer. 

“Rhetorical question.”

“I love yo-” you attempted to confess, but his lips covered yours swiftly, even as his eyes opened wide when he pulled away. 

“Wait, no, say that again,” he begged, eyes weak and shiny and absolutely endearingly pathetic. 

You shook your head and sealed your lips, miming, zipping them shut and throwing away the key. 

“Y/N! Tell me again, tell me you love me again,” he said, kissing each of your cheeks. You poked his chest hard, and he kissed you once more. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered, and kissed you again, trying to draw from your lips the words he had cut off earlier, losing himself in the pleasure of the moment as you sat together in the dark office, totally enamoured with one another. 

[kafus]

please let me introduce you to NeverHappy, my most beloved pokemon ever.

i found her as a budew on someone else’s save file after buying a used copy of pokemon platinum. the name “NeverHappy” was a pretty obvious joke about how budew evolves from happiness, and since the previous owner was going to keep her in a box forever, never use her, and never evolve her, she would never be happy. this activated some feral response in my brain and i decided no. she WOULD be happy. i was still replaying through all my old gen 4 games at the time but i traded her off to my other gen 4 files for safekeeping until i could do stuff with her.

oh trust me game. i would.

so you might have thought my plans were to simply evolve her and beat the game with her, get her to level 100, maybe even EV train her - but i had much bigger plans. i was going to ribbon master her. the ribbon master challenge, or the process of “ribbon mastering” a pokemon, is getting every single ribbon possible on a pokemon from the game it was caught in to the most recent game it can be transferred to. if you weren’t aware, that’s a LOT of ribbons. there are 40 in gen 4 alone. i had a lot to do.

(the above clean screenshot was taken by backing up my cartridge save and screenshotting a battle video in emulator. however, i did all of this on my actual DS! i don’t like playing on emulator. not as fun)

i had to beat every contest (normal-master rank in all 5 categories) and do a bunch of other random stuff but my favorite part of the process was defeating the battle tower... 6 times. the battle frontier contains the most challenging battles in gen 4 by far, as opponents have good stats and competitive movesets. there’s 6 battle tower ribbons in gen 4 - two for singles at different points in the win streak, one for doubles, one for multis /w NPCs, one for multis /w another player (i just played with myself on two dses), and one for ranking up in the wi-fi room, which is now accessible again due to fan servers restoring internet functionality for gens 4 and 5.

NeverHappy was randomly caught in the wild and did not have a competitive nature or stats, so i figured that she would just be tagging along in the back while i took out all the win streaks with 2 good pokemon, but she ended up clutching out wins in times of dire need... multiple times. she even ended up being necessary in the wi-fi room to stall out prevalent hacked pokemon like no guard sheer cold machamp, which hits 1 hit KO moves every time, with a gimmicky and convoluted leech seed + substitute strategy.

i could go into all of my team members and the excessive lengths i went to get them all (don’t even get me started on my shiny competitive latias from pokemon emerald) but that’s a story for another day.

by the end of gen 4 i was extremely emotionally attached and she was already becoming one of my favorite pokemon, now with 40 whole ribbons after days and weeks of effort.

i have ribbon mastered pokemon before, so all of my save files in gens 6, 7, and 8 were already set up to transfer neverhappy into and grab all of the ribbons. i had a lot more battling and little tasks ahead of me. it’s really cool how ribbon mastering forces you to interact with pretty much every feature of every pokemon game.

and so i transferred her! gen 5 doesn’t have any ribbons, so it was just an intermediary to transfer into gen 6. at this point, i had also acquired a shiny luxray from pokeradar chaining in platinum named Nightlight, and i was ribbon mastering them together, but once again, a story for another day.

first into gen 6... getting the super training ribbon was really annoying but the battle maison was pretty easy. i had a team in multis with terrakion and a whimsicott with beat up that could 1 hit KO all of the boss battle’s legendaries in one hit LOL

then gen 7... this one went by pretty quickly but i opted to get the best friends ribbon here instead of in XY or ORAS because it was really simple to get with rainbow pokebeans, since all you have to do is max out affection and it only takes a couple rainbow beans to do that in USUM.

and gen 8! you can see nightlight to the left in this picture. by far the hardest part of gen 8 was getting the ribbon awarded for winning a battle in master rank in online VGC against other players. i definitely had to grind that one for a while.

then, she even got an award in BDSP for being a pokemon originating from the original diamond/pearl/platinum games, which was really cool.

oh, and since i had cloned neverhappy back in gen 4 with a glitch so that i would always have a copy of her in her origin games, i was able to take this neat picture! how the times have changed LMAO

luckily she was even a part of PLA’s roster and i was able to take a picture with her there, too... which actually might end up being important since there’s an invisible flag somewhere in the game’s code that gets turned on when you take a picture with your pokemon in the photo studio, which could potentially become a ribbon in the future in another game.

so, trainer Platina from 2016, you were wrong! NeverHappy is in fact happy now and has done more than most people’s pokemon have seen in their entire lifetime. she is my most cherished pokemon and i love her more than i love myself. i think i would die for her

i abbreviated this story a lot because i didn’t want to make this post longer than it already was but i was randomly inspired to talk about this today since SV is coming out soon and there will be more ribbons to collect for any of my ribbon masters that can be transferred into SV, which got me thinking about her. my journey with ribbon mastering has taught me more about pokemon games than any normal person should ever know and if you were interested in any details i left out or how i accomplished certain ribbons (including battle frontier strategies) feel free to shoot me an ask! :D i love talking about pokemon at any time any day of the week.

[roseykat]

KINKTOBER DAY 14

TITLE: Some things are better left unknown

PAIRINGS: Bang Chan x Felix x reader

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate every single interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.

SUMMARY: a threesome with Chanlix where you’re yet to discover a very sobering truth about the pair of them.

TAGS: explicit language, threesome, oral sex (f!reader receiving), porn with plot, use of the name 'baby girl' and 'angel', swearing, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex but protected anal sex, double penetration, big dick!Chan agenda, praise, slight body worship if you squint, kissing/making out.

A/N: Aussie line fucks hard, bye. (If there are mistakes, I will fix them. Currently running on v low sleep)

KINKTOBER23 - MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @mal-lunar-28 @luneskies @queenmea604 @kibs-and-bits @kbitties @aaasia111 @fairy-lixie @dreamingaboutjisung

-

Milk, nori, rice, raw tuna, coffee, yoghurt, bread, and eggs. 

This was all Chan sent you to the supermarket for. All of which could have been easily picked up from the convenience store down the road. Maybe minus the raw tuna which has to be high grade since Chan wanted to make an attempt at onigiri for the first time. However, you would’ve saved an entire trip to the busy supermarket.

Not to mention, grocery shopping sucks in general. At least that is when you’re on your own. In your apartment that you share with your good friends Chan and Felix, two people are responsible for the shopping per week which rotates each time. 

If you’re with Felix, sometimes you both tend to muck around. Not to mention forgetting almost a quarter of things on the shopping list which ends in a stern lecture from Chan. On that matter, if you’re with Chan, it’s an in-and-out task at the store in less than ten minutes. 

Efficient and practically timeless.

Even though it’s no trivial matter, you manage to get through the pointless shopping before heading home to the apartment. These could’ve been picked up at the convenience store, you think to yourself again. A sigh leaves your lips as you unlock the door, bumping it open further with your hip as you slide your shoes off. 

“I’m back. Remind me to buy an umbrella next time-”

Your body freezes on the spot. The bag of items falls from your possession, collapsing onto the floor. Something inside it broke but it’s nowhere near enough a distraction for what is in front of your eyes. 

Maybe you need your vision checked because if your eyes weren’t deceiving you, then you wouldn’t have just seen Chan and a topless Felix who are both making out. The two of them sat on the edge of the bed, still lip-locked until they caught onto your presence.  

For the few seconds you stood there, rooted to the ground, felt the absolute longest.

Neither of them was as internally panicked as you when they noticed you standing there. Nor did they have hundreds of questions zapping around their brains in the span of a few seconds. It was like your entire vocabulary had turned to dust and were blown away because there were no words to describe what the hell was happening. 

Maybe it was a dream. 

“T-That was quick,” Chan stammers with an awkward chuckle, breaking away from Felix, almost pretending like nothing just happened. 

Felix looked like a complete mess. Dark brown hair mangled - clearly from Chan either running his fingers through it or tugging it - the air gets stuck in your throat with those two theories in mind, painting very interesting visuals and an odd sensation in your stomach. 

Chan looked equally dishevelled. There’s a dark red splotch peeking above his collarbone that you had no trouble guessing how it got there. On top of that, his pants were already half undone, and his lips were bitten red and wet, and they both looked so…so…

“What…the fuck…” you manage to speak once your mind has cleared the only one per cent of its capacity to grasp the circumstances.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Felix quickly says as he stands up from Chan’s lap and walks over to you.

It was useless for him to try to take advantage of your shell-shocked state because once your surprise had completely thawed out, your words started coming back to you. 

“Oh my god, what am I even doing?” You ask, clamping your hands over your eyes, ready to head right back out of the apartment. “I’m heading out.”

“Wait!” Chan calls out, arm outstretched towards your direction. “You don’t…you don’t have to go. If you want, you can maybe join us. If…if you like.”

Join them? Blindsided by those words, there was no trouble for the difficulty you had in trying to figure out if you heard right or just imagined what Chan said. Why would he ask you that question? But more importantly, why were they hooking up in the first place? It was evident that there had been something going on between Felix and Chan - unless this was just a new one-time thing. 

However, even if it wasn’t, you had been left out of the secret. Nonetheless, you quickly came to your senses. Whether they hook up or not is none of your business. 

“J-Join you?” You stammer. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Chan emphasises. “It’d be rude to not let you in on the fun.” 

You definitely weren’t hearing things, and this wasn’t a dream. 

At first, you can’t understand why you’re even considering their request, but there is one piece of information that sprung to mind and that’s your sex life. It hasn’t been entirely sex-filled as you’d like it to be, not to mention your slight lack of experience with threesomes wasn’t vast - but it also wasn’t limited either, especially after that encounter you once had with two of their friends Changbin and Hyunjin on a separate occasion. Although, they didn’t need to know that at all. 

That being said, this takes the cake. You can’t even comprehend what Chan or Felix are like in bed but, the opportunity seemed too ridiculously hot to pass up. 

“You...you want me to-“

“Like Channie said, if you want,” Lix assures you, interrupting your babbling. 

You aren’t somewhat surprised that Felix would ever want a threesome. He’s had sexual partners here and there in the past, multiple ones at a time. However, Chan never struck you as the type to have sex with more than one person. Even after a year of living with him and getting to know him, he’s still pretty private and exclusive. 

With the matter at hand and the more you think about the prospect in front of you, you aren’t opposed to the idea. So with your brain taking full control of your body, you hesitantly step over the discarded groceries lying on the ground. This is happening. Felix picks up on the right cue and extends his hand out to you as you take it gently. 

He guides you over to the edge of the bed where Chan is still sitting, but as you’re led over, he rises to his feet. There were a few seconds where you’re a little bit bewildered by what’s going on, but when you look into Chan’s dark eyes and as he takes your free hand, you become more centred.

Before you know it, he leans down to kiss you and kisses you good. You’ve never felt anything like it and as Felix releases your hand and sneaks behind your body, your mind starts turning into jelly. He gently swipes your hair to the other side of your shoulder while his other hand freely roams around your waist, underneath your shirt to feel the heat of your skin. His mouth places chaste kisses from your shoulder up to your neck. 

It feels so heavenly to be sandwiched between them; Felix kissing, biting softly over your skin while Chan continues to explore your mouth. It was impossible to think that just a few minutes ago, you were at the grocery store and now a complete world shift just seems to be occurring within that time frame. 

Chan breaks away from you for a second, kissing you tenderly one last time before sitting back down on the bed and moving up to the headboard. God this is really happening. You’re too deep in it now to not follow him like a lost, yet obedient puppy. You can see that he’s hard and want to touch him so badly but-

“Sit between me and face towards Felix,” he instructs before you can even reach for him. 

Your cheeks burn. While you have no idea what’s entirely in store, your body is getting excited and very obviously, so is Felix. He crawls over to you once you’re snug in between Chan’s legs before he tugs your shirt up from the hem and tosses it aside. Then, he finds your lips and kisses you until you have to silently beg and chase him for it.

Squirming in place, you feel hot and subjugated by Chan sitting behind you - snaking and trailing his hands around your now half-bare body, and Felix in front of him, who’s now gone on to give his supposed man some attention too.

He’s up on his knees with his body so close to you that you can feel the heat from him. Chan tilts his head up from resting on your shoulder and lets Felix take what he wants. The slick wet sounds of them both kissing along with the tiny moans you can feel in your ear, makes you shiver all over. You’re only still comprehending this all, that this is still actually happening. 

“So needy,” Chan says as he breaks away from him, inches away from his face when Felix hears and feels you unbuckling his belt. He straightens back up and consumes how flustered you are, observing the way you blink up at him pleadingly, displaying how badly you want it now. 

Felix smirks, gently grabbing your face with one hand and lowering down just enough to kiss you senseless again. But he cannot stray away from his other plans so frees himself from your lips to help slide your pants off down and discards them to the side. 

Immediately, you can see where this is going. 

“Aw, look how bad you want it,” Felix comments, swiping his thumb over the damp spot of your underwear with enough pressure for you to muffle a whine by biting down on your lip. You do want it bad and already seem to be losing a fight to the pleasure Felix is barely giving you. 

“Don’t tease her too much,” Chan cautions. 

Felix doesn’t seem to hear the warning for him as he helps you shimmy your underwear down. From there, Chan takes over. He hooks both of his legs over yours and separates them to not just expose you for Felix but to hold you down for what’s about to unfold. 

Heat accelerates through your cheeks as you feel embarrassed. At this point, your brain hasn’t caught up with the fact that you never show this much skin, let alone any skin in front of either of them. But that was going to be an afterthought for you when Felix distracts your mind by gently prying your legs open from your bent knees.

Pathetic whimpers slip past your lips as Felix lies down on his stomach, his face inches away from your pussy while he pets and glides his two fingers in between your folds. 

Your head shoots back onto Chan’s shoulder, very narrowly missing his face, “f-fuck…oh my god.”

Without warning, you feel the tip of Felix’s tongue lap a few times over your clit. If it weren’t for Chan acting as a human restraint to hold you down, there would’ve been a solid chance of you lurching forward. His arms are still wrapped around your abdomen, preventing you from moving forward so that you can take what Felix is giving you. 

It’s cruel, but Chan thinks it’s necessary for you to feel everything. Which you do when your hands grip each of Chan’s thighs, nearly squashing him backwards between you and the wall. 

“How does it feel?” he asks you. 

“F-Felix, mmm-” you breathe out his name, unable to answer properly and feel some vibrations from Chan’s chest to suggest that he was chuckling. Mainly at the fact that you weren’t able to directly answer his question. 

But it’s not long until the room quickly fills with your whimpers and moans mingled with the beautiful wet sounds as Felix keeps eating out your pussy. Tingly sensations spread like wildfire throughout every cell in your body from his mouth. It’s gradually becoming impracticable to keep up with his tongue. Not that you’ve ever imagined it before, but he does give good oral, good enough to put your breathing pace out of whack when he sucks on your clit. 

He’s not afraid of enjoying himself either. You can hear and feel his moans reverberate throughout your lower half. It even adds to the sensation of bliss that’s forming a knot in the pit of your stomach. So even though you don’t know, this is as good for Felix as it is for you. To him, it’s like going to heaven. 

What you also didn’t seem to know was when Chan unclasped your bra from behind your back and placed it to the side. His hands went from just holding you to now groping and playing with your tits as your body continued to melt into Felix’s mouth. 

“You’re loud aren’t you?” Chan whispers in your ear, rolling both of your nipples in between his thumbs and fingers to make you mewl and squirm. The different methods of pleasure send interesting messages to your brain that only make that crest of ecstasy build higher. 

You can only mewl until coherent words appear in his brain and out through his mouth, “s-sorry.”

Felix’s head game is so ridiculously mind-blowing that it makes you forget what language you speak.

Chan chuckles, purring into your ear, “don’t be sorry. You just can’t help it can you?” 

His hand circles up to your jaw, tilting it towards his face. He confirms in his mind how much of a mess you are. Cheeks stained pink with a fucked up expression that reads ‘I need more’, to which Chan reaches down and kisses you, sloppy and lazy. 

The velvety feel of your mouth when you open up more is slick with warmth. It’s starting to become more obvious how close you are when you start moaning repeatedly into Chan’s mouth. 

“I’m going to fuck you after this,” he breaks away, just inches from his lips again. 

You never would’ve guessed that Chan was even capable of forming such a dirty sentence. Then again, you never would’ve guessed that you would ever be in the position that you’re in now - having a threesome with your two housemates. 

“I’m…you’re gonna make me cum,” you sob, turning your head towards Chan on his shoulder, almost as if you were trying to escape the expansion of euphoria. He couldn’t help but kiss your forehead, waiting for you to brace for that wave. 

“Yeah?” Chan rouses. “Want to cum for us baby girl?”

You nod, too helpless to form an answer when you’re on the cusp of a forceful orgasm. He underestimated the strength he needed to hold you down, especially when you’re about to cum. So just when he needed to add more force, your body stiffens. Your legs so desperately crave to clamp around Felix’s head to help triage the pleasure, but it’s no use when Chan has you completely locked in. 

Your eyelids flutter, head pressing back further into Chan’s shoulder, “yes! I’m cumming!” 

With ragged, heavy breathing, the all-consuming pleasure takes you by the throat as the pleasure surges without control. Even though you’re being held down, it doesn’t stop your body from quivering. It lasts for what feels like an entire minute – one of the best orgasms you think you’ve ever experienced. 

Felix’s tongue slows down to a snail's pace, licking a few final stripes before kissing his way up your body, from your clit, abdomen, and then up to the base of your throat. His chin glistens as he adorns a smug smile. 

“Fuck…” you sigh out defeatedly, the aftermath of experiencing a volume of pleasure was starting to take its toll. “Oh my god.”

Chan kisses the side of your head, “sound so beautiful when you cum. Lix, switch with me so I can fuck her, yeah?”

“Wait-“ you pause, trying to reorient yourself as you hold onto Chan’s forearm for support. “I wanna ride you.” 

Felix looks down at you, “you sure angel? Channie isn’t exactly small.” 

From that statement alone, it was obvious to you that Felix was speaking from experience, a strong indication that they had in fact mucked around at least once in the past if not multiple times. But it didn’t matter if Chan or Felix for that matter was packing twelve inches, you needed to have something inside you to tame that need of feeling full. 

“I want to ride you-“ you nod to Chan – “but I want you to fuck me at the same time-“ you indicate towards Felix.

Neither of them expected you to be into that. Then again, they didn’t necessarily expect you to join them in bed either so anything was a surprise to them at this point. Chan and Felix can’t deny how insanely hot it is to hear you not only ask for them to do something but specifically ask you to do that. 

“Are you sure baby?” Chan has to ask you for assurance. 

“I can…I can take both of you.”  

Still stunned at your answer, Felix ushers to Chan, “you heard her.” 

He cannot lie and say that he’s not excited, because he is – they both are. So while Felix goes into the bedside table for a condom and lube, you move yourself off of Chan, turn around and start unbuckling his belt and helping him take his jeans off, almost like you’re in a rush. The imprint of his hard dick is enough to make your mouth water, and as Felix said, Chan definitely isn’t small. 

“Easy, I’m not going anywhere,” he chuckles, reorienting himself on the bed so that his head is on the pillow.  

Felix returns with the items he needs to help prep you, taking it as a sign to straddle over Chan’s legs and slowly tug his black boxers down. His cock springs onto his abdomen, the dark pink tip reaching just under his belly button. He had to be at least eight inches. Maybe just under, just.

“Ready angel?” Felix asks, kneeling behind you as you straddle Chan. The position would allow you to not only ride Chan but to take Felix from behind too, a dream so delicious that you can’t help but wonder how it was still all possible. 

“Yes,” you mutter. 

“Okay then,” he replies. 

Chan then holds the base of his cock steady for you, watching you slowly take those eight inches. The tip of his dick gently slots into your pussy, taking your time with sinking down. The warm heat engulfs his length, already sending shockwaves throughout his lower half. 

“That’s it, baby,” Chan says encouragingly, his fingertips delicately massaging over the skin of your things. “Good girl.”

You bite down on your bottom lip at the extraordinary stretch. In the meantime, Felix squirts a dollop of the lube onto his fingers to warm it up a bit before applying it to your hole.

He thumbs over it, sending shivers up your spine. It’s vital to him to make sure that you’re prepped well for him to fuck your ass. So he starts small by slowly inserting the tip of his finger, before gradually using slow yet long strokes, enough to make your head loll back. 

Felix has to express in awe when he sees the result of your efforts to fully envelope Chan’s length, “look at that. You took all of him, angel.” 

You know very well that you have because you can feel him in places that other men in your past haven’t reached. The stretch still sings a bit but it could easily be confused with the gorgeous satisfaction of Chan filling you right out. 

“So…big,” you strain out, scratching your nails down Chan’s abdomen, almost like a cat, just not as painful. 

Meanwhile, as Felix has slowly been stretching your hole out with his fingers, he uses his teeth and his free hand to peel the foil back of the condom packet. He had already freed himself from his jeans when he went to reach for the lube beside the bed so was hard and ready to roll the condom down his cock.   

“M’ready Lix,” you say to him, unable to see the smile you brought to his face from how eager you are. 

“I know baby, just one second,” he replies before aligning his cock with your hole. 

Very carefully and slowly, he starts pushing his tip in. Your eyes flutter shut, steadying your breathing in the process in preparation to take all of him as well. Chan rubs up and down your arm, distracting you from the temporary sting. With the lube doing its job, Felix can continue to push in at a leisurely pace right until he has the majority of his cock wrapped up by you. 

“Doing so well Y/N,” Chan says reassuringly. “Just stay like this for a bit until you’re ready to move yeah?” 

You nod, allowing your body and muscles to relax and ease into the pleasure that’s starting to fade out the burn. It’s difficult to comprehend a fuller feeling than this; to have two cocks stuffed in you to the hilt, and after a few moments of getting used to it, you slowly start to move. 

“Mmm, yes fuck,” you sigh with satisfaction, using your hands on Chan’s abdomen to steady your body as you being to move your hips. “You both…feel so fucking good inside me.”

Your words were difficult for Felix to not listen to who was trying to ward off from thrusting for a little bit until you were comfortable with him starting to fuck you. It wasn’t until your movements became a bit quicker that he began to catch up to your pace. Very quickly did the room turn into a space brimming with moans, wet sounds, and the sound of skin slapping. It was plenty to add to the intense sensation you were hurtling towards.  

Chan’s eyes are fixated on watching your pussy swallow his cock with every long stroke you take on him, “oh my god.”

With his tank top still on, Chan lifts it by the hem and holds onto it with his teeth. It wasn’t just to make sure that your hands weren’t going to be slipping on him as you use his abdomen to support yourself when you rock down, but it was also to restrict a whole bunch of moans that were about to rip through his chest. But even that couldn’t put a lid on the groans and growls rumbling from him. 

“Taking us both so well angel,” Felix says exasperatedly in your ear. 

His deep yet velvety voice has you leaning back slightly so that half of your back is pressed against his chest. With the help of you turning your head towards his face, Felix’s mouth crashes onto yours, almost tasting the remnants of yourself from before. He kisses you passionately, moaning into your mouth like he’s going to die if he doesn’t. 

“Fucking perfect,” he growls, diverging from your mouth to dive into your neck to suck a few hickies in and groping your tits from behind. “Can’t get enough of you dammit.” 

You sob out as he pinches your nipples, but also when Chan reaches down to your pussy, finds your clit and begins to rub in perfect motions, “god – fuck, I can’t…s’too much!” 

Their cocks hit spots so phenomenally that each time they stroke over them, your holes involuntarily clench around them. Not to mention the total stimulation they were feeding you. 

Felix’s hips haven’t faltered since they started pumping forward into your ass. The upward curvature of his cock seemed to be scratching the part of your brain that is responsible for making your eyes roll back. Chan’s dick on the other hand had you shaking. The length and girth were sickeningly satisfying. 

“Not gonna last,” you whine, still keeping up the same pace when you rock down on Chan and feel Felix continue to thrust in and out. “So close…” 

The hem of Chan’s shirt is long gone from his mouth, already given up on trying to suppress whatever was going to come out, “gonna cum for us again, huh? Such a good girl, taking us both at the same time.” 

Chan couldn’t lie either, but he was close a long time ago, probably the second you decided that you wanted to ride him. Felix happened to be on the same page. He couldn’t get over this entire situation, finding it so fucking hot that even just a dream of it would be a blessing. 

Words start to slip away from your brain once more. Aside from your orgasm swimming towards an astronomical high, you try to cling to that amazing feeling before it eventually disappears. But all good things come to an end. Your nails dig into Chan’s thighs while Felix has one arm barred just under your chest as the other hand doesn’t let up on your nipple. It throws your pace off balance and staggers your breathing when you start reaching that very pinnacle of euphoria. 

“Yes! Fuck, I’m cumming!” You scream out. 

Your thighs clamp around the frame of Chan’s lower half, shaking and shivering in place as the pleasure reaches its apex. Felix didn’t let up on his pace, fucking you all through your orgasm as Chan replaces your motions by fucking upwards and into you. Both of your holes spasm and contract around their dicks, enough to actually make them cum by the time you’ve reached the height of your orgasm. 

“I’m gonna cum, holy fuck, s’too good,” Felix’s head rests on your back, watching his cock disappear in and out of you before he starts to bust inside of the condom. His fingernails brutally dig into your hips when he cums. 

Your moans easily fill up the room once more now that you have no choice but to succumb to the euphoria when your orgasm hits its hardest. Chan’s head tips back further into the pillow, eyes screwed tight shut as he’s hit with a tsunami of pleasure. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he exclaims loudly, his chest heaving up and down as he spills inside of you. He’s lucky that he did because as the pleasure reached a point where it was too much for you to bear, you slowly lean forward towards Chan, their cocks sliding out of you in the process. 

On each exhale your body shudders, like the surges of aftershocks while the pleasure slowly plateaus. From this angle, Felix can still see you contracting, watching Chan’s cum leak from your pussy. If he wasn’t so fucked out, he would’ve had the energy to eat you out again. 

In saying that, he is the first to recover and come to his senses a bit faster than either you or Chan. He takes the condom off, ties it, and discards it in the rubbish bin in the corner of the room before putting his boxers back on. Meanwhile, you’re still panting trying to catch your breath, resting on top of Chan’s body, you feel his hand run soothingly up and down your spine. 

“Such a good girl for us,” he says caringly. “Felt so good.”

Felix sits beside you both at the top of the bed. He cards a gentle hand through your hair, observing your distant expression, “you there baby?” 

You blink up at him and nod, your brain still trying to process that sort of orgasm. 

“When you’re ready, we’ll get you cleaned up yeah?” He smiles softly down at you. 

As the minutes ticked by, Felix lent you a helping hand to stand up when you were ready. Even though you were wobbly on your feet, he still guided you to the bathroom and ran a nice hot shower. Both Felix and Chan joined you in a bid to make sure you knew that they were there, dousing you with as much praise as an individual could get – and they meant every word. 

When you were ready to hop out, Chan fetched you one of his warm jerseys and placed it straight over your body before telling you to hop in his bed while he went to gather up the towels and clothes from the bathroom. Just as he was picking up the last items, Felix caught him right as he was about to walk out. 

“She okay?” Chan asks him. 

Felix nods reassuringly, “out like a light.”

“Alright then,” he sighs contently. “She’ll probably be asleep for the rest of the day.”

“Mm,” he hums, staring at a space just to the side of Chan who picks up on the subtle behaviour. 

“Is there something wrong?” Chan asks as a slight concern balloons in his chest. 

“When are you going to tell her?” Felix asks. 

Chan stares at him, trying to figure out what he means, “tell her what?” 

He rolls his eyes and chuckles, “that you like her, idiot. That we like her.” 

That had been a distant thought for Chan for some time. The possibility of that ever working out between the three of you seemed like a long shot. You only all slept together. There was no depth to it other than that even though deep down, Chan would’ve liked it to be for the sole purpose that he likes you. But it’s not just him.

It’s also the one standing at the doorframe, staring right back at Chan; Felix. 

[vinelark]

what r some fics that shaped your psyche? you have so many good recs im currently rereading the to an athlete dying young series

hello! you sent me this ask ages ago and i've been meaning to get to it ever since. (it took me so long to answer that i'm sure you've reread to an athlete dying young by @sonosvegliato many times over by now but hell yeah, what a good one.)

these are a few fics--dc and beyond--that have been in my "in case of emergency" epub folder (aka fics i want to have on hand immediately to reread on bad days, or good days, or even average days) for a few years now. so here is an extremely incomplete list of fics that have shaped my psyche!

for dc specifically--if i tried to list all of them i would just end up repeating my whole fic rec tag, so these are just a few of the ones i read when i was getting into this fandom that stayed with me/made me want to seek out more for these characters:

📸 surveillance series by @smilebackwards

this series located the tim drake center of my brain and lit it up like the vegas strip.

🎒 like a hinge, like a wing by @bonesbuckleup

one of my go-to rereads for pangs; chapter one is a masterclass in tension. also, one of my favorite pre-robin tim pov fics of all time.

💻 nominal by @unpretty

"you don't get it, batman is a comedy" --conversation i've had with multiple people using this fic as my thesis statement.

🌃 the jingle jangle morning by @audreycritter

the moment somebody in my vicinity says "i love dick grayson" i'm on their doorstep with this fic url.

🚉 a meditation on railroading by @eggmacguffin

there's a moment in this fic known among my friends as "baby wipes jason" and it has successfully converted no less than three people to the fandom.

and then for non-dc fic:

🌌 atlas by @megafaunatic (mdzs & tgcf)

did i read this before i had a single clue who the characters were? yes. did i return to it once i did and lose my mind a little? yes. lore etymologyplayground writes that “so so so in love and pining so hard the lines between us are blurring and we haven’t made a move yet but it’s inevitable” flavor with such a deft hand; it is in fact called the lorezone. if any friends-to-lovers pining i write can achieve even 50% of a lorezone i will have done my job.

🪿 If they caught you by @feyburner (tgcf)

i go back to this when i think about setup and payoff, when i think about subtle misdirects, when i think about the monumental task of creating whole compelling new characters in 6k words.

🧪 away childish things by lettered (hp)

one of the best de-aging trope stories i've ever read; i think of this when i want to take a trope to its maximum potential and then go: no wait, there's even more.

(another fav de-aging fic is grow by @cafecliche; shorter plot but no less pangs 🌱)

🏡 in defiance of all geometry by @idiopath-fic-smile (les mis)

a fic that's a perfect reread when i need something cozy and full of character, and a perfect touchstone when i'm pondering something where the world may not hang in the balance but the stakes still matter.

📔 The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (cql/mdzs)

paragon of metahumor, basically. i think of this when i want to write something that's funny in both text and form.

🍚 and his wanting grows teeth by @yuebings (cql/mdzs)

masterclass in pangy backstory reveal; the way the first scene loops back around to punch you in the gut long after you've forgotten it will forever be seared into my brain.

also, most answers on this list fit the bill!

(apologies again that this answer is so belated; it took me ages to write up partially because i kept stopping to reread these fics every time i tried.)

[stqrgirlie0]

⋆toxic!theo⋆

now we’ve all hear of theo in a healthy and loving relationship, however in a toxic one? Probably the worst. Things would start off good, you guys would be all over each other, all the time. Everything would be great, unit it wouldn’t. After a few weeks, theo would grow bored and tired of you. He’d talk to other girls right in front of you, on purpose. And then when you’d confront him about it he’d get all defensive, make you think that you’re the one who’s wrong. He’d accuse you of being controlling and that he’s allowed to have ‘friends’ who are female. Despite being emotionally done with you, he wouldn’t break up, because he lovees getting you all riled up to the point where you are so mentally exhausted with his mind games, that you just give up. You give up, and you let him win, again and again and again. You guys would argue every single day, and it would always be in his dorm- because there’d always be something to go confront him about, no where other than his dorm. Leaving a toxic relationship isn’t easy, and when it’s with theo-it’s even harder. All your friends say to get out of it before it’s too late, but you’ve already ran out time. Confrontation doesn’t affect him, all the more reason for you to not leave him just to accept the challenge of making him care- just once. You would be screaming your lungs out and he’d just stand there, with a stupid smirk on his face as watches you pace around the room while shouting, and wonders what your thighs would look like locked around his head, your hands brushing out his fluffy curls and your mouth chanting out his name instead of whatever you were saying right now. Eventually the previous becomes a reality. It was almost like an indirect apology, yet theo had no intention of apologising, he just wanted to keep you hooked on for the next few days until he would do it again. suddenly everything’s fine. Well it’s not, but that’s how he’ll be pretending it is for the next few days. It’s this and his love bombing that made it so hard for you to leave, you hate it but you don’t. It’s a tricky one, but the cycle goes on, and on, and on. And oh my god this man is so stubborn, he cannot and will not change himself for you. During the honeymoon period of your relationship, his smoking didn’t really bother you, he wouldn’t be smoking all the time, maybe once every two or three days (sounds very unlikely I know). But after things got a bit more strained, he’d smoke multiple everyday- maybe even finishing the whole pack in a day. It was horrible. You hated the smell, and the worst thing was that it was everywhere. on nights when you and theo would supposedly ‘make up’, every corner of you would be infested with the scent, lingering on your clothes for the next few days. on the other nights when you’d go back to your dorm, alone and crying, you’d toss and turn in your bed. The scent would arise, from your pillows, duvet, hair, clothes, and it’d remind you of him. Shamefully you’d admit that sometimes the smell mixed with his signature cologne, would automatically drop you to your knees (don’t worry girl, me too), not that he minded. Honestly he loves seeing you from above, it just engraves the power dynamic between you two into his psychotic little brain, inflating his ego more than it already is. god he hated you, but oh how he was in love with you even more, infatuated and obsessed- feeding his desire of seeing you crying your pretty eyes out because of him, shouting with your pretty voice at him, pulling at your pretty hair because of him. Yeah, he’s (very much more than) borderline insane, but girl, as soon as you learn the rules of his games, he’ll wish he never started it.

a/n: guys if your s/o reflects any behaviour above- LEAVE. this is not meant to be normal!! This piece is not in any way condoning toxic behaviour- just a little writing task seeing what I can come up with

#something I started ages ago and decided to finish #YALL IM SORRY BUT IM GON HAVE TO HOLD OFF PART 4 FOR A BIT LONGER #work is killing me and I have easter break to catch up😭😞 #pls take this as a peace offering🙌🏼🙂

[dancingbabya-notes]

Quirk malfunctions

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As anyone else might say sometimes your quirk doesn’t always work the way you intend it unless you train it rigorously, even then sometimes your quirk can mess up or even activate subconsciously.

Characters: Bakugo Katsuki, Kaminari Denki, Shoji Mezo, Aizawa Shouta, Yagi Toshinori

A/N: I'm finally writing something after fighting with my computer for several months and posting it. I will not be disappearing into the oblivion I will be writing whether my brain likes it or not.

<-•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•->

Bakugo

As a new hero you needed to be ready to jump into action at a single call. But as you check your phone again you grumble. “I’m taking a nap someone will call if they need me.”

Though the idea of sleeping on concrete wasn’t entirely appealing you were glad for the pseudo cape on your uniform. Closing your eyes happily under the warmth of the sun, even if it was killing you slowly.

While you slept someone who was actually working happened to land on the roof of the building you were sleeping on, which was just the roof of your apartment. Upon seeing your uniform and you just dozing away Dynamight frowned.

“The hell? Is this the new hero that joined, lazy fucker,” he grumbles to himself before turning to you, unbeknownst to him though your quirk was already active.

As soon as he walked closer the watery tendril wrapped about his hands preventing him from using his quirk, then over his mouth to keep him from waking you up. That would have all good and well if some of the water didn’t brush against your skin sending a chill up your spine and waking you up.

Rubbing your eyes and seeing the glaring red ones you quickly pulled the water away. “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

Picking up your phone you frown at the message. Dynamight was about to chastise you for falling a sleep on the job when you turned off your visor and walked to the door.

“My apologies senpai it seems I’ve been given a mandatory holiday, have a good rest of your day,” You give a slight bow before walking through the door back into the apartment building. “How fucking fun, let me just almost suffocate my big brother’s best friend. Way to go Y/N!”

Kaminari

Your big brother had been born quirk-less and seemed to acquire a quirk seemingly over night before entering high school, while you had both your parents quirks. Fire breath and attraction of small objects. This was probably the most important thing about you that anyone learned, because that would explain why sometimes you simply looked like a dragon no matter the season because you seemed to be breathing smoke.

“What are you doing?” someone asks in what had been a silent workshop.

“I was trying to fix this,” you frown as the item you had been working on fell onto the open table, with a lot of training you were able to hold things in mid air and hold multiple things at once. “Did you need something?”

Kaminari was someone you only recognized because he was in your brother’s class back in high school. “I uh was just checking if my disk shooters were fixed.”

“Uh well that's not my task so I dunno, you’ll probably need to talk to Ogiwara.” You could see his eyes going wide and you look up to see the hammer that had been on your tool belt floating above you. “Damn quirk.”

Jumping up a bit you pull it back down and frown.

“Sorry I guess I’m not as aware of it as I hoped I was, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Shoji

Because of your quirk needing eye contact you did any and everything to get a job where you didn’t need to make eye contact. Office jobs were a bust because your boss would demand it, restaurants were a bust because anyone could make eye contact with you and you wouldn’t know who the last person to look into your eyes was, ultimately you ended up with one of the worst jobs ever according to you brother, at home desk work.

Standing up from your floor desk your back was killing you, and from the warmth of the sunshine from your office window it was warm. “Maybe I could go for a walk? I’m ahead on work.”

Mumbling this you give your puppy a smile as you stand up.

“Hey baby, are you ready for your morning walk?” You ask just as you get dressed in proper outside clothes, the number of times your neighbors have accidentally seen you in your skivvies was far more than you wanted to admit.

The shiba you’d affectionately named Sho –after your big brother, who wasn’t dead he simply pretended not to like dogs– rubs up against your our reached hands giving soft barks in confirmation.

“Let me check how hot it is, we wouldn’t want you to get ouchies,” you giggle.

Waiting inside your apartment Sho watches as you walk to the sun heated ground touching it with the back of your hand. It wasn’t hot and you could walk around if you wanted to.

“Alright, come here baby!” You beam.

Sho already holding his leash rushes up to you closing the door, you smile clipping on the leash before going to lock your door. Just as you do you happen to hear your neighbor leaving his apartment too, you met him when you were in high school a student your brother taught, but now he was just your next door neighbor.

Sho pulls you along excitedly nearly causing you to crash into said person. “Sho heal.”

Just barely you catch yourself before you slam into the solid person next to you, giving a weak smile with your eyes closed you turn your head up a bit. “Sorry about almost running you over.”

“It’s fine y/n.”

Looking back to your dog you sigh. “Hope I’ll see you around.”

“Like wise.”

Though you did chance a little look, sometimes you could just barely look at someone and avoid activating your quirk.

That wasn’t the case because while Sho and you sat at a bench to get some shade you feel asleep. Finding yourself looking through someone else’s mind.

“Fuck.” You mumble trying to figure out if there was a way that you could wake up.

Waiting waiting for Sho to start scratching at you to wake up thought he probably wouldn’t do that, you’d probably have to wash your face when you got home cause he’ll lick you awake. Seeing through Shoji’s mind was different. You knew he was a hero, you just didn’t know he patrolled so close to your apartments.

Returning to your own body you blink a bit.

“This isn’t a very safe place to be sleeping,” he chuckles. “But it seems you have a good companion who’s worried about you.”

Looking down you reach to hug Sho. “I’m sorry baby, let’s go home. Thanks for waking me up.”

He nods giving a slight wave.

Shinso

Understanding any creature that had competent thoughts had its moments. It was basically a cheat skill to you, understanding your fur babies without having to spend thirty minutes arguing with them like your siblings. Milk and Tea sat on your stomach and chest respectively, both being adorable and restrictive to your breathing. “I’d like some space please, can you both sit on my legs instead?” You mumble. You receive two no’s. The thing was your quirk also worked on humans you simply never used it on them. “I gotta go buy food come on!” You urge. They both look at you like they thought you were lying. “It’s good for you.” Both cats jump off you and prance away like the spoiled brats they were. Giving you a moment to both use the restroom and grab your things to go run to the store and buy all that food. “Kitten?” You were so focused on tying your shoe properly that you failed to notice your boyfriend come inside. Shinso stood behind you while you tried to tie his shoes onto your feet, which didn’t work because you both had different shoe sizes. Thinking you heard something you were about to shoo away the cats because you knew it’d be a thirty minute chase if one of those pampered brats got outside. Only to hear. ‘Damn I doubt they’d notice if I poked them.’ More alert but unbalanced you try to move away from your brat of a boyfriend only to tip forward into the door. His eyes lock with yours as he shouts. “Wait!” “What?” Luckily you didn’t hit the door but not you were practically a rag doll into his hold. You hated when this happened. Once righted and able to stand you push him back. “Fuck you, Toshi, I was trying to tie my…” you look down finally realizing whose shoes you were wearing. “Why’d you move my shoes?” “I was tired, it was just on the same shelf.” He shrugs. “You good, Kitten?” “Mm, I’m fine. Also no poking,” you switch the shoes getting ready again. “You read my mind?” “I thought it was the cats.” “You always think it’s the cats.” You frown. “Fine the next time that the Sgt Fluff ball gets out again you’ll be the one to chase him.” “I- You wave with a smile. “I’m off to buy some cat food and dinner. You better tell me what you wanna eat.” You didn’t miss the threatening thoughts from just outside your door swinging it open forcefully. “Oops my bad.”

Aizawa

You were very excited to be working with other heroes your own age for once, not that weren’t thankful for your mentors you just felt like you were learning the same thing over and over from the older pro heroes. At sixteen you dropped out of school and found a hero to intern under, with the concentrated crime rate in your city instead of simply learning how to learn how to be a hero you were basically already a hero the only useful thing you learned was how to cause the least amount of property damage so you could have enough money to support yourself and your little brother. Now you were going to Japan to learn more about being a hero, your agency pretty much forced everyone to visit other countries in a sort of exchange program. But standing in front of other twenty somethings you felt like you’re mind was gonna a short circuit.

“H-hello name hero eh, I mean my hero name is Whiplash. It’s a pleasure to meet all of you, Gracious has nothing but nice things to say about Japan heroes,” You keep your head down embarrassed from the messy introduction.

You could just feel someone staring down your neck before you stood back up, then again you wore a full mask for your protection. “Your form said you already have six years experience on the field…”

Giving a little nod you look at the ground again. “Um while it’d be awesome if stars and stripes could be anywhere there is a problem there are some cities that ave atrocious crime rates.” Not wanting to talk about it again you smile. “I’m curious what hero schools are like though, I heard y’all get direct teaching from some of the best heroes.”

“They’re the same as hero schools in America right?” one young man frowns keeping his face covered with the scarf.

“Eh, I’ve visited the one in my state and that’s only true if you’re lucky enough to get a school with a ton of funding. The schools aren’t government funded they’re funded at a city or state level if anything and any school is lucky enough to get enough funding to keep up with the new regulations every year,” you shrug thinking a little bit about that small experience, you felt a bit angry just thinking about the state of the schools and how people had been treated.

“Whip.”

Blinking a bit you felt the blood drain from your face. “I’m so sorry.”

“It happens sometimes.”

You hadn’t realized you activated your quirk resulting in a small garden growing in the lobby.

“Well the lobby did look a little gray, I’m Eraser Head.” The young man holds his hand to you and you shake it.

“I can pick up the plants but I’ll use my next pay to fix the ground.” you mumble.

He shrugs. “I doubt they’ll know how to fix it.”

Yagi

“It was a bad idea marrying a hero Yagi.” “Shut up.” “He’s what how many years older than you?” “Five? Is that so terrible?” Your so called best friend was scolding you again. For getting married, it wasn’t even because of who you married they just used that to try and make their point seem more valid. You just wanted to work on your throwing, not listen to them complain since they themselves wanted so be married but never found the right person. “Come on he’s got to lack something.” Splashing them with the water you were using to help you work the clay you frown. “Either you change the topic or you know where the exit is Cole.” “Seriously? You’re gonna pick him over me? I thought you were a good friend.” As you pull the piece and their tone starts to irk you you felt your blood burning. They pulled every little transgression that they thought was so terrible when they were all instances you couldn’t help. Feeling then clay slip you stop the wheel and glare. “Shut up and leave!” It came out harsher than you intended. “I hear this enough from my mother now from you?” As you turn away all you could do was shout. This broke then glass divider, your voice wasn’t quite as powerful as your little brother’s bit you always hit that frequency to break shit. Just then your husband walks into the studio. “Oh dear.” “I’ll just see myself out,” Cole states quickly grabbing her things and brushing past Toshinori. You stare at the broken glass in disbelief. “Fuck, fuck.” Curses pour from your mouth as you hit yourself, though your hands weren’t clean so you got slip and clay ill over your face and hair as tears fell. Before you can do any real damage large arms wrap around you. “My dear be careful, we wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” “I messed up again,” you sniffle hiring your face into his shirt, why did he always wear white shirts? “Never fear I am here,” he whispers earring a slight chuckle through your sniffing. Hugging him back you frown mumbling into his chest. “What was that my love?” Pulling back a bit so could speak clearly you look up at him with a pout. “I think this time I need to install metal shelving.” “I believe that is the best course of action.” He rubs circles into your back as you bury your face into his chest again. “Guess what?” “What?” “My baby brother got into Yuuei.” “That’s wonderful my love should we send him a gift of congratulations?” You shake your head. “My mom will just throw it away. I’ll give him some spending money and take him the dinner the next time I’m in Musutafu.” Yagi Toshinori or more well know to the public as All might could be a kind man and gentle to his spouse. Not that any one knew he was married.

[neoyi]

I haven't read every single ARG, but enough that Resh'an and the Shopkeeper are on reasonably familiar terms. I'm not sure if it's like boss/employee or casual buddies (I didn't read that far, someone can lore dump me on that), but a comic idea formed anyway.

Some little notes under the "Read More."

I considered keeping Resh'an in his default canon clothing and just make it look like he slept in his clothes (which I think is a reasonable assumption to make), but decided to put in the effort and draw some PJs on him. It was hard since I still needed him to look like Resh'an, hence the turban-ish night cap and I guess for some reason he wears his mask to bed. There is zero reason why he'd cover his own face in the privacy of his home, but work with me here.

This room is not the Great Archives seen in Sea of Stars, just some random ass place he lives in. I imagine a guy who can travel multiple verses has several private homes he owns for both ease and pragmatism. ...This is probably one of his nicer estates; my brain is either picturing creepy old castle in the middle of England that is the stuff of rumors or pleasantly nice cottage cabin in the woods all Ghibli style. Maybe simultaneously both at the same time, he would totally have a magic house.

Despite his rather lonely existence, I don't think Resh'an is the kind of person who is Not Good With People. I feel he chooses to be alone because it's just the ideal for an immortal. It's less likely to get people personally involved and at risk (and thus, ripe for Aephorul to take advantage of.) I think he's a pretty personable guy who gets along fairly well, but he consciously maintains a distance for both the safety of any third party and to avoid getting too close because, let's face it, a guy who can live presumably for eternity is just gonna be sad watching another mortal he was close to die.

That being said, I could see him being a bit more involved with people who are directly exposed to time/space travel since they'd have a better understanding of his situation and have that convenience to better compromise and meet his endless life's needs. Which the Shopkeeper very much can do.

My current thought is that the Shopkeeper is much more outgoing and willing to get shit done. She absolutely does not sit still when there's work to be done. I can see her as very Leslie Knope in the sense that she can pack in, like, 50 different tasks in a day. Her relationship with Resh'an boils down to being an unofficial secretary and that friend who pulls a chair and sits on it backwards and delivers the harsh truth in a friendly way (she likely has a million opinions on Resh'an's awful codependency with Aephorul.)

In turn, Resh'an probably is grateful he has her (and likely other Blue Robe members) he can at least engage in healthy conversations with and not have to explain the pains of immortality over and over again. Even if they may not all get it (though the Artificer totally would since he, too, is immortal), they understand just because working with time and space is second nature to them and those skills often go hand-in-hand with an ageless being.

I think Resh'an keeps a relatively casual friendship kinda relationship with her; like if the Shopkeeper was feeling emotional, he'd awkwardly try to calm her down by using a broom to pat her on the back. They know each other well enough, but they don't hang out, like, every single day - they're not besties. Again, he doesn't deny friendship, he's just been alone for a very loooooooong time. And given the circumstances of who he's routinely fighting, it's justified he'd exercise some caution with others he regularly chats with. Also, he's rusty from being distant with people, so he's not always sure what to do with people he's known for long-term post-immortal existence.

I think they both understand and respect their individual anonymity. Both have secrets they'd rather keep to themselves and neither are particularly nosy about picking at it.

So, what I'm saying is, a lot of their conversation together would rarely ever be personal, but instead either work talk or other stuff they're interested in and have commonality with (I can see them talking philosophically to each other or nerding over Animal Crossing or whatever.) Anything personal they say on a regular boils down to "I know what coffee he likes" or "Her favorite food is this and this."

They absolutely would sing drunkenly to ABBA and watch garbage B-movies in their free time while they coo over how fucking hot Jeff Goldblum was in "Earth Girls Are Easy."

Resh'an isn't the "hisssss sunlight bad" kinda nerd, it's just when you hole yourself up in your room for centuries at a time with the curtains closed, the sun blaring down on you is going to be a hell of a surprise.

[xuracha]

Prepare the Dead

Tang looks at the demon monkey as he is covered head to toe in blood, with multiple bodies of the demon kidnappers behind him, as Wukong stands proudly in front of him puffing his chest out expecting Tang to thank him for yet another rescue.

Unfortunately, instead of a thank you, a scolding lecture is given.

"Wukong, what have I told you about killing?!?! Killing is bad!! We are buddhist monks, we solve our problems WITHOUT VIOLENCE!!!!," Tang shouted at the monkey, as said monkey turns away with a scoff, now with a deep frown on his face. Wukong has heard this lecture so many times that it has almost became second nature to block him out at this point. "OH YEAH, let me just convince these demons out of eating my master, the reincarnation of the Golden Cicada, one of Buddha's diciples, and gaining immortality! DO YOU KNOW HOW REDICULOUS YOU SOUND??," Wukong argues back.

Tang and Wukong's squabble continues on for a few more minutes, until Lily slams her now extended wand on the ground, creating a loud thud to garther everyone's attention. The glowing stone at the end of her wand releases a wave of energy which then transforms into the shape of a shovel blade. She throws the glowing shovel towards Wukong, which succeeds in catching it.

"Since you are responsible for the corpses, you will also be responsible in helping me prepare them for burial," Lily stated. "Pigsy and Tang will assist me in recovering and moving the bodies, once finished with digging up the graves, Wukong and I will prepare the bodies for burial, and Sandy will help Wukong in lowering the bodies to the graves." Lily then faces the Monkey King before facing Pigsy since they are the touble makers in the gang. "I expect no snarky remarks, sarcasm, and especially no disrespect for the dead beginning, during, and after these tasks are done." If looks could kill, she would be more than six feet under, with the glare a certain monkey is giving to her right about now.

The woman ignored the progressively fuming monkey, as she walked towards Tang to grab the string of coins that was on his person. "I will also now be responsible for this gang's money. For every person Wukong has killed, there will be one coin used and placed under their tounges to ensure them safe passage to the Underworld."

Tang looked at his deciples, before turning to the woman with a look of uncertainty. "Miss Lily, that's our entire supply of coins for buying food, shelter, and other supplies when we get to the nearest town. What will happen if we used up all the coins for Monkey's misdeeds?" Lily rolls her eyes at the monk, explaining (lol mansplaining) to her the monetary value and purpose of the coins, as if she doesn't know currency. "Then you will know who to thank when we arrive at the next town with no money to afford a single bowl of rice, and forced to find alternative ways to get by before our next departure."

Wukong stares in shock for a split second, before he bares his teeth and fangs at the only woman in the group, looking like he is about to add one more to the pile of copses. "How dare you command me to do such an abhorrant task woman, I aught to knock some sense to you. I am a KING, therefore you will treat me like one!!! I will not do such foolish and lowly tasks of a undertaker, ESPECIALLY to the bodies of my enemies!!!"

Uh uh, he did NOT just talk to her like that. Lily will not stand for such disrespect. She turned towards Wukong with a sickly sweet smile, eyes shining with hidden rage. "Then you, my homicidal ass of a furry gremlin with nuts for brains and no impulse control, will have the blood of your enemies as well as an innocent on your hands. And you are not a king right now, you are a traveling monk, and last time I checked, monks result to violence when there is no other option other than self-defense, and even then it is NON FATAL. Now start finding a spot and start digging, these bodies aren't going to bury themselves. We will be here all day and night doing this if we have to. You took their lives prematurely, the LEAST you can do is provide them with a safe passage to the Underworld!"

The two of them have a stare down, analyzing each others movements, before Wukong lets out a frustrated shout and backs off with the shovel to find a spot to dig. "Stupid woman, making a king do such disgusting tasks," he muttered.

[b-courageous1010]

Day 15: The Principles of Mindful Productivity  

Since starting my career journey, I have been focused on being productive and focusing on how to get the most out of my productivity habits at work and in my personal life. Still, like most people, I've been doing it rather unsustainable. The long hours, always being on the go, and pushing out as much output as possible, have led to burnout multiple times. When starting my current role, I decided this time will be different, and I will take steps to avoid experiencing burnout.   

This goal has led me down the rabbit hole that is mindful productivity. Mindful productivity is defined as being consciously present in what you're doing while you are doing it and calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings and thoughts when engaged in work or creative activities. This doesn’t mean you stop whatever you are doing, it's about seeing the present moment without pressing the pause button. It's interrupting the autopilot mode we often use daily, taking time to appreciate the little things, thoughts and feelings, and the world around us.

To practice mindful productivity, you have to think of it as a set of principles that can be used as a flexible roadmap that anyone can apply to work and feel better. So let's get to it:   

10 Principles of Mindful Productivity:   

Presence: Live in the Present   

Try not to get trapped in the past and pre-living future worries. This thinking causes you not to be able to enjoy the here fully and the now and can make it hard to concentrate on your tasks.  

I fell victim to this went starting this role. I was so afraid of making a mistake and so consumed with the past mistakes that I made....even more mistakes. I have since adopted the attitude that I will make mistakes because I am just starting my career. I know the bare minimum, and all my mistakes are necessary.   

Awareness: Watch your thoughts and emotions   

When your mind wanders, bring it back to the task at hand.  

You want to be aware of your emotions and thoughts so you can accept them, move on, and return to being productive.   

Flow: Get in the flow  

A highly focused mental state which facilitates productivity   

Can be described as "Getting in the zone" or feeling absorbed in an activity   

Define your goal, cut the distractions, take a deep breath, and keep your mind fully attentive.   

The brain is often the happiest when you are engaged in the meaningful pursuit of a goal.   

Single Task: Avoid Multitasking   

It's not a secret that constantly switching contexts between different tasks hurts your attention and makes you less focused. In a perfect world, people who focus on one task at a time are calmer, more effective, and more productive, but we have to find a balance in the real world.  

Use Mindful Context Switch to strike a balance between productivity and responsiveness.  

Motivation: Question your procrastination   

Use the DUST model to understand why you are procrastinating. 

Curiosity: Cultivate your curiosity  

Curiosity helps you learn. It enables you to remember better information; the more curious you are about a topic, the more likely you are to remember it.  

Observe the world, take the time to learn, ask questions, don't take anything for granted.   

Growth: Develop a growth mindset  

A growth mindset means you believe you can grow your intelligence and skills with hard work.  

It would help to question your fixed mindset attitudes to see what's holding you back.  

Metacognition: Use metacognition strategies   

A powerful form of self-monitoring and self-regulation  

It means being in tune with your awareness to determine the best strategies for learning and problem-solving and when to apply them.   

Instead of blindly working away, take the time to plan, monitor and evaluate your working and learning experiences.   

Environment: Pay attention to your work environment   

Be mindful of where you work and how it affects your productivity. Understand what works for you and adapt your environment based on your findings.   

Also, consider your habits when designing your environment.   

Breaks: Take mindful breaks   

Using breaks to remind yourself to be mindful of your thoughts, emotions, and your environment  

Set aside time for the present moment to clear your mind and take it off red alert.    

Unplug and come up for air: Make sure you have ample time for other pursuits besides productivity. It doesn't hurt to limit your screentime.  

Take time to breathe, eat a snack, and look out the window.   

Practicing mindful productivity can seem like a daunting task, but take it from me. It's well worth the effort. Life can get hectic, but by letting the principles of mindfulness act as a guiding point in your everyday life, you can be present in the midst of it all.   

[abimee]

i have a cocktail of neurodivergences because when one thing goes wrong in your brain you usually develop 3 carry-on disorders free of charge but the thing that always sucks most is when you have a ''neurodivergent disorder'' that has zero upsides. like you get bombarbed by tiktoks and posts about how great it can be to have ADHD or autism and all these upsides because they alter how you function in positive and negative ways, but as someone with combination OCD-BP (WHICH MAKES THE BIPOLAR WORSE AND HARDER TO TREAT THAN NON-OCD BP) you get every single downside symptom and zero of the ups

like congratulations if your ADHD makes you more aware of the emotions of others or capable of taking on multiple tasks, but here comes bipolar with the steel chair of ''if i see a single other person whos slightly better than me at this thing i just picked up i will ruin everyones day including myself because IM supposed to be the most special person on earth''. I see something that makes me excited/overly happy due to my autism? well here comes the mania triggered by the sudden elation in mood and therefore ill go from ''im so excited and happy!!" to "i can get into a car right now and drive it despite never having been behind the wheel before because life is so perfect that basic laws of physics dont apply to me because the world is so amazing like that!!"

get a new hyperfixation? how long do you think it will last. 3 months? a year? well here comes mania with the ''you will think about this every day for hours on end for 6+ years straight and it will always be VERY sexual because you have hypersexuality problems and just dont know it and even if youre not longer interested in this thing you will be unable to stop thinking about it because it is part of your life now!"

but theres one upside to bipolar disorder that nobody tells you. and that is that you have bipolar, and therefore are capable of telling the world of its existence and to get people to understand this incurable, disabling disorder with many facets from impulse control to mood swings to psychotic behavior to obsessive tendencies, and you have the power to let one more person in the world know its exists and to get them to learn more about it and respect and understand bipolar disorder. and that can make the world a little easier to live in when youre struggling with bipolar

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I have pack logistics questions so pardon me if this is nerdy but I’m a certified lore whore. Also it’s long…just like Channie’s..nose😊

1) for camping/pack runs, if there a general meal planned established then do select members go shopping? Does cooking responsibility switch each time or does it stay pretty consistent?Or is it kinda all for yourself bring your own food(even if everyone ends up sharing?

2) does the entire pack take off ever every single full moon? Do some of them get special accommodations if it happens during the week? Do any of the boys get a bit moody if their partner can’t join them for midweek runs?

3) does the pack as a consensus on the best season to run on or is it individual? If so what?

4) do packs in this universe have anything to physically show/establish them as being apart of a certain pack? Easily I think like a ring or necklace, little more permanent would be like a tattoo.

5) do you think the pack would struggle once/if the moved into individual homes? Like I can’t see them living across town from each other, but I can imagine living that close for that long and then not smelling or sensing all your mates might be jarring to a wolf.

5) wolves have a LOT of pride. Is Chan’s response stronger than anyone else’s (besides a mate’s) when one of his packmates are disrespected or hurt? Think like if he heard someone calling Min a “halfbreed/mutt” or picking/threatening jisung or Felix because they are male omegas. How quick is his wolf to violence in those cases?

6) Do they jokingly call the extra rooms where they can ride out ruts and heats “horny jail”

7) Do the pack parents keep maybe like a rough schedule (or specific if the individual is comfortable sharing it)of cycles for everyone that way they could predict when tempers might be higher?

8) besides others they are romantically involved with, do the wolves think about themselves as packmates in a “this is my friend” way or a “this is my sibling way”? For our humans, since they don’t have a wolf in their brain do they truly feel part of the pack? Like when they really soak in the moment with all of them do they think “I love my pack” or do they think “I love my friends/siblings”?

-🥝( I probably should have split this into multiple asks)

never apologise for this!! i love these questions skjdfhsjkdf

they try to plan what they're gonna eat on their days there. so, yes. they'll make a list of items and a few of the pack members will go to the grocery store to get the items (it's usually jeongin + autumn + changbin, but they might rotate every once in a while if the three of them aren't up for it). sometimes they prepare the meals and take them already ready just to re-heat, other times they just take the groceries and cook there. if they cook beforehand, tasks are split between households. if they cook during the trip, it's usually felix cooking, but others help frequently because he refuses to cook alone for that many people (not like other pack members would let him anyway kfjhskjf).

they always go together. i think Chris might be able to count the times they didn't with one hand (runs are very VERY important for werewolves, so missing one can get them a bit... cranky). for those that work in a supernatural environment (like Jisung), they probably just need to submit some paperwork at the beginning f the year with the nights they need and they always get them approved since it's a necessity. for those working in human spaces, they either call in sick or try to get days off. those with partners, they sulk if their partner can't come for one reason or another (Chris is the king of sulking whenever he has to spend a full moon without pretty nowadays. hell, even if it's just going out for a run and it's not a full moon, he'll sulk lol).

it's all personal preference. if i had to decide fave seasons for each ones: winter = chris, seungmin | autumn: changbin, ginger, jisung | summer = felix, jeongin | spring = minho, hyunjin (as usual, this is subject to change, it's just what i think at this present time lol).

some packs do (i like to think Moss' does. i just haven't decided what they have yet). Chris' doesn't, mostly because none of them has felt the need to have anything.

they would. i think it'll feel unnatural to not be close to each other, so moving too far away is just not an option. it's in their nature to live together and ensure everyone's well fed and taken care of (whatever this last bit entitles...). for Chris' pack, if they move out of their current den and into houses, i'm sure they'll only do it if they find adjacent houses. like, they literally need to be right next to each other/in front of each other or they won't move. it'd probably feel a bit weird at first since they're not in the same space, but i'm sure they'll get used to it eventually. but yeah, the closer together the houses are, the better.

it honestly depends. i feel like Chris particularly is heavily influenced by the moon cycle. depending on the phase of the moon he can either react very violently or very logically. he always tries to go the logical route because, you know, he's their Leader and he has to act all collected. but... yeah, i'm sure he's gotten in a few fights in his life over things like these lol. it can get pretty ugly if the full moon's close.

i love this actually. so, yes. yes they do.

of course. not only to be aware of mood changes, but also to make sure they're more or less available in case they're needed to help with anything (like getting them supplies and whatnot).

i think it goes beyond "this is my friend" and "this is my sibling". it's a type of bond that it's not easily explained, it's just... they're just pack members. and yes, humans that fully integrate into the pack feel this way, too. i suppose there could be humans that don't integrate completely, so they'd be more on the "these are my friends for life" kinda mindset, but it's not the case for Chris' pack. pretty and kitten are fully integrated into the dynamic.

hope these answers make sense, i'm super sleepy ksjdfhskjdf

[sarcasticsra]

Excuse me a moment while I YELL INTO THE FUCKING VOID.

Vyvanse is having shortage issues now. Had to call my pharmacy because I hadn’t gotten a notification on that one and wanted to see if there was an issue. Evidently yes, the issue is that it is out of stock and they don’t know when they’ll get it again.

I hate everything about how we handle ADHD meds in this stupid fucking country. Because now I have to either hope they have it in soon or call around to the other five pharmacies in town to see if they have it, and if they do, then I have to call my doctor to get an entirely new prescription sent, and THEN I have to call my original pharmacy back to have them cancel the old prescription in their system so the new pharmacy can fill it.

Why? Because it’s a schedule 2 drug and that means they can’t just transfer the fucking prescription.

Why? Because the War on Drugs has rotted our collective societal consciousness.

Why? Because there’s not a single fucking moral panic this godforsaken country won’t embrace with open arms, I swear to god.

So naturally that means we had to put the fucking drug cops in charge of medication quotas. And as we all know: ACAB.

“There’s so many new prescriptions!!! Zomg!!! Who knows if they’re legitimate because they were prescribed via telehealth!!!”

Oh wow so this disorder that makes it extremely hard to sustain and regulate attention and thus makes it difficult to do routine things like setting up doctor’s appointments (oftentimes multiple appointments) and then remembering them and getting to them on time… that somehow got diagnosed way more when we took away some of those obstacles? Madness! Witchcraft! Sorcery!

Before I was diagnosed/medicated there were literally days where I couldn’t even get out of bed. I would be laying there, staring at the ceiling, yelling at myself in my head to get up, get up, get up, you need to go to work, get. up. goddammit… to no avail.

Vyvanse has literally given me my fucking brain back. I can look at a task and think, “hmm, I should do that,” and then I just fucking do it. Do you know how many weeks’ worth of laundry I used to have just laying around in baskets because forcing myself to put it away was literally impossible? Do you know how fucking painful it is to look at a task that you have failed to complete, over and over, a simple task, a stupid task, you should just be able to do this, why can’t you just fucking do this…

I think people who have never experienced this can’t truly understand how horrific it feels to have to fight your brain on every. single. thing. Every single task is a calculation: can I do that now, if I don’t do that now will I be able to do that later, wait I already have to do task X and once I do that there’s no way I’ll have the mental energy to force myself to do task Y too. It’s like trying to get your work done on a computer with 80% of its resources being bogged down by bloatware. Can you get some things done? Sure, probably a few. But it’s going to take you three times as long and if you’re not careful the whole system will freeze and you’ll get absolutely nothing accomplished, and oh yeah, it’ll be wildly fucking frustrating the entire goddamn time.

It just absolutely infuriates me that we’re so fucking scared of the potential for “drug abuse” that we fuck over everyone, as if drug abuse is somehow the biggest moral failing in the world. Maybe if we addressed some of the things that lead to it, there would be less of it! Maybe just criminalizing everything is stupid, counterproductive, does not help in any measurable way, and oftentimes just makes everything worse!

And not for nothing, but if not for the truly incredible insurance I am lucky to have through work, getting diagnosed would have cost me $1200. My husband and I are doing well enough that we probably could’ve managed that in a couple installments, but for a large percentage of people, that prices them right out. And I live in a very low cost of living area. I can’t imagine what it costs elsewhere. How many of those “abusing” these meds just actually fucking need them but can’t afford to get them prescribed? Because even after the initial diagnosis, my first scrip cost $230 thanks to a deductible, and then $40/month after that. $40 isn’t awful, but there are plenty of people who do not have an extra $40 per month. (And my copay is on the lower end. I’ve seen people with insurance saying they’ve had to pay $200+ every month.) And then you have to have regular meds check ups, every 2 months or so. So add another $200 for each of those without insurance.

I’m extremely fortunate that the place I work not only offers great insurance but also pays 75% of the premium so that it’s actually affordable, and all of my outpatient mental health visits are covered at 100%. But I shouldn’t fucking have to be glad I won the employer lottery. I shouldn’t have to worry that I won’t be able to get the medicine that makes me functional just because we continue to exist in a society still fucked up by Calvinism to this day.

None of us should have to an endure a fucking asinine, callous, broken system that, whenever any of the myriad problems with it are brought up, has the audacity to go, “oh, don’t blame us, blame those other people who are also suffering!”

Fuck all the way off. We made all of this shit up. None of it is immutable. We just don’t give a fuck that people are hurting, and it shows.

[direwolfrules]

Okay, first day on Vyvanse, that’s what my doc prescribed me for the ADD.

My brain feels quiet in a way, and less laggy? It’s like I had dozens of apps open eating up my brain’s RAM, and the med opened task manager and closed the ones I’m not using. No three million thoughts clogging up the cue, just the stuff I need in the moment.

Like, I can actually process what people are saying in real-time. No thirty second delay and “What?”. No asking for clarification and then processing what they said before I even finished the question. I’m following multiple conversations at once, I can focus on a conversation, I can actually make and maintain eye contact. I can do something while maintaining a conversation. I can listen.

I actually can get up and do things when I want to. I think “I should do this”, and instead of futilely begging myself for several minutes to just move, or immediately forgetting the thing, I just do it. I make multistep plans. And I complete them. I never did that before.

I feel like my vision’s clearer too, because instead of trying to take in everything and absorbing nothing, now I’m taking in a normal amount and I can focus on it? Like, I remember details now, not just fuzzy approximations.

I’m reading without skipping long paragraphs and having to backtrack. I don’t need to check directions on the gps 200 times, for a single step, just twice. I remembered the route to my local 99¢ store today. I’ve lived here my whole life, it’s barely four blocks away, I’ve never been able to remember the way.

I started a task, nearly finished it, thought of another thing to do, and finished the first task. And then I remembered to do the second task.

Today, I almost cried like 50 times. It’s been 5 1/2 hours since I took it, it started to kick in 15 mins later and reached the peak 2 hours after. For the first time in my life I know what “normal” feels like. I like it. I like being able to do things. I like being able to communicate properly without being rude. I like not being anxious because I can’t do things.

I’m going to keep a journal of this stuff so I have something to show my doctor (who amusingly has the same last name as me, no relation that we know of) at my follow up in a month.

[deepspacedukat]

Safe Haven - Part One

This fic is not related to my SoC fics. A couple of days before I posted “Bliss After Bliss” this fic was injected into my brain by an actual dream I had about S’Talon. Obviously, I embellished bits here and there and added an actual plot, but if I don’t get this onto paper in some form or fashion, I will, in fact, lose my entire fucking mind and/or explode. So here we go! An entire two part fic (or three if I become particularly verbose) for a single scene that’s driving me fucking insane! 😇

S’Talon is a Romulan OC created by @bigblissandlove1. This story was written/posted with their permission. Go check out their story, “The Raptor’s Descent” if you haven’t already! That’s where S’Talon came from! Also, the lehe’jhme wine that’s mentioned was also created by Bliss and first mentioned in “The Raptor’s Descent”! ✨

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

S’Talon (OC) x Reader

[A/N: This chapter is just a buildup, but the next will have at least implied smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Minor flirtation, instant attraction, sleepy S’Talon, idk most of this chapter is just plot.

~*~

Was this really the place Sloan had told him about? It had been well-hidden, shielded and cloaked from any prying eyes, but...an aging cabin that looked as though it could collapse under the stress of a particularly strong gust of wind? Really? This was to be his safe house for the next month or two? With a heavy sigh, S’Talon ascended the porch steps and pressed the door chime.

“Once your mission is complete, you’ll need to lay low for a while,” Koval had told him, and at the Dhaemnasi’s urging, he’d accepted a small data PADD and a briefing from Luther Sloan about how to reach the place.

“It may not seem like much on the surface, but there’s no safer place in the galaxy,” the Human had said with a proud smirk. “The person who lives here will no doubt be surprised to see a Romulan, but this PADD should be enough to convince her that you’re trustworthy. She’s a friend of mine, so I don’t expect any problems.”

“Understood,” S’Talon had answered, but despite his personal curiosity about this woman, he had a mission. Setting his sights on the task ahead, he’d listened to the rest of his briefing with single-minded concentration.

Thanks to his caution in the field, he’d been able to accomplish his goal and fly away unscathed. The last leg of his journey had been traversed with the assistance of the most advanced cloak that the Tal Shiar had developed. There was absolutely no way he’d been followed, despite the length of the journey spanning multiple days.

Upon arrival on the seemingly empty forest planet at the coordinates that he’d been given, he’d almost been fooled into thinking he’d miscalculated, but in this business, he came to expect the unexpected. Sure enough, he’d exited his small ship and walked through the trees. He’d soon felt the telltale tickle of a shield parting around him, and a home made of dark brown wood and some sort of brick appeared before him.

Waiting outside the door for an answer of some sort, S’Talon allowed himself to take in his surroundings. A few small wind chimes played in the breeze from their hooks at the edge of the porch, creating a serene sort of asynchronous symphony. Somewhere, S’Talon could hear the rush of water. Was there a river near here?

His musing was cut short by the door opening to reveal–

Oh. Oh, she was beautiful...

Any objections the Riov had previously held were promptly wiped away by the sight of a lovely Human woman standing in the doorway in an oversized sweater and gray shorts. Utterly speechless, he could do no more than blink like a brainless fool.

“...Can I help you, sir?” Even her voice was lovely. It took him a long moment to come to two jarring realizations. The first was that she’d spoken flawless Romulan. The second was that he’d been silent for entirely too long. Clearing his throat and attempting to regain his cognitive functions, S’Talon took a small step toward her.

“Forgive my interruption of your solitude, lhhei. I am Riov S’Talon of the Tal Shiar, and I come seeking shelter. A friend of yours, Luther Sloan, told me about this place. He swore me to secrecy and entrusted me with this PADD,” he said offering her the device. She relaxed visibly when she heard Sloan’s name, and when she skimmed the PADD, she gave him a small smile and invited him inside.

Like any respectful guest, he removed his muddied boots and set them next to a smaller blue pair that he assumed belonged to his hostess. Glancing around the entryway, he noted that the inside of the house seemed much sturdier and more well-maintained than he’d anticipated. Perhaps the apparent dilapidation was a facade meant to discourage unwelcome visitors...

“Well, Riov, if Luther felt confident enough about you to reveal my location, you’re either an incredibly skilled, trustworthy operative or a friend of Dhaemnasi Koval’s,” she called as she led him into the main living space. He couldn’t help but let out a huff of laughter as he observed the small fire crackling away in the fireplace. The whole room was seemingly bathed in a comforting, welcoming sort of atmosphere - one that was very much needed after his mission. A sort of bone-deep fatigue had made itself at home in his limbs and was becoming harder and harder for him to ignore.

“I would say that both are true, but I wouldn’t dare be that arrogant. I am indeed a friend of the Dhaemnasi’s,” he said as he watched her clear some books off of a particularly comfortable looking sofa. “But please, lhhei, call me S’Talon.”

“As you wish. Why don’t you have a seat while I set up the guest room? You must be exhausted after whatever mission those boys just had you on,” she said, and if he didn’t know better, he would’ve guessed that she was part Betazoid.

Or perhaps he simply looked as tired as he felt. With the utmost gratitude, S’Talon did as she suggested, allowing himself to melt into the cushions with a relieved sigh. His tight, aching muscles began slowly releasing themselves from the knots they’d become in the last few days. When he opened his eyes, he found her smiling at him in a gentle, amused sort of fashion.

“You enjoy witnessing the suffering of a poor old man, lhhei? How very cruel,” he teased with a warm smile of his own. She laughed and shook her head before heading off to get a room ready for him, calling over her shoulder that she’d be back in a moment.

Sloan hadn’t warned him that this place would be Vorta Vor in disguise, the bastard, which raised the question: how did he know this woman? Was she a family member? A lover? A former agent? A...what did Humans call it? A guardian angel?

Yes, that was it. She must be one of those. Sloan had finally taken mercy upon S’Talon and sent him into the tender arms of a guardian angel hidden amongst the trees on an otherwise uninhabited planet. His exhausted mind turned the idea over a few times as his eyes fluttered shut again. The last thought he had before he drifted into a well-deserved, but unintentional sleep was what it would be like to kiss an angel.

--

A delicious scent lifted the Riov gently back to consciousness. It took a long moment for him to remember where he was. The flickering flame in the fireplace coupled with the deep, seductive indigo of the night sky peeking at him through the window finally brought his situation back to him. Blinking slowly, he looked down to find a soft blanket draped carefully over him.

“Computer, what time is it?” He rasped, but all that met his ears was a rather heavenly laugh.

“I don’t have a central computer unit tied in with the house. I have a replicator, a terminal to do my work, and a few other minor systems, but nothing like the computers you’re used to on the T’Met,” his hostess called from somewhere behind him. “It’s roughly nineteen-thirty hours.”

“Ah, thank you, lhhei. My apologies, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. It’s been a long day.” Sitting up and stretching slightly, S’Talon set aside the blanket she’d so kindly draped over him and stood. “What smells so good?”

“That would be dinner. I only know a few Romulan recipes, so this is something closer to fusion cuisine,” she said. Thanks to the open concept layout of the ground floor level of the house, he was able to watch as she stirred something in a pan. She was cooking by hand? “I figured you’d be hungry after a hard mission.”

“I’m very grateful for your consideration, dear lady, and no matter the type of cuisine, it’s sure to be delicious,” he said walking slowly into the kitchen to lean against an open section of the counter. “Oh, and thank you for the blanket.”

“You’re welcome,” she said picking up a bottle and drizzling something into the pan along with what appeared to be an array of seared vegetables. Maybe it was because he had been in a small, cloaked vessel for three days with no outside contact, but every moment he spent in this lovely woman’s presence, he felt increasingly revitalized. “If you’d like a change of clothes, I laid a few replicated garments out on your bed. You’ll have to forgive me if I misjudged the measurements somewhat. I’ve never had the honor of dressing a man of your stature before.”

A laugh spilled from his throat, sounding rougher than usual from his sleep.

“The honor is all mine, I assure you,” S’Talon murmured, wondering what she’d chosen for him. “I wonder, lhhei, have I time to tidy myself up a bit before we eat?”

“Of course. I only started a few minutes ago, and I can keep the food warm for you. Take as long as you need. Your bedroom is the third room on the left down the hall,” she said gesturing in the right direction.

“Khlinae arhem,” he replied, and pausing just long enough to see surprise flit over her features, the Riov went to find his temporary quarters. This would certainly be an interesting couple of months.

He emerged from a shower not long after, utterly relaxed by the spray of hot water. How long had it been since he’d used a real water shower instead of a sonic one? Too long, his tired muscles screamed in answer. Taking care of his grooming efficiently, S’Talon removed the bit of stubble that had sprouted along his jaw during his journey and slipped into one of the sets of clothing his hostess had provided for him.

She hadn’t been very far off guessing his measurements. The sleeves of his emerald green tunic were perhaps a couple of centimeters too long compared to what he normally wore, but otherwise they were quite comfortable. He supposed it was better for a garment to be a little too big rather than too small.

Clever girl. From what he could see, she lived here alone. His brows drew together slightly. He had several questions about his lovely hostess, but he was a patient man. Just as he hoped to draw more laughter and smiles from her, he intended to find out a bit more about her.

Once he was dressed and felt a bit more like himself, S’Talon made his way back out toward the kitchen. Seemingly freezing when she saw him, the Romulan watched as her eyes flitted up and down the length of his body. Now that he’d rested a little, he felt confident enough to give her one of his most charming smiles in return.

“It seems that I have an excellent stylist,” he said standing a little straighter and holding his arms out at his sides to show off how well everything fit. “You’ve underestimated your own abilities, lhhei.”

“No way. That was just a lucky guess,” she demurred as she retrieved two wine glasses for the table. “I’m afraid I don’t have any kali-fal to offer you, but the Dhaemnasi keeps me well-stocked with his family’s wine as payment for services rendered to the Empire.”

S’Talon’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. Not just anyone was considered worthy enough to be gifted Koval’s lehe’jhme wine. She must be someone very special, indeed.

“I’d be honored to share a glass with you,” he replied, and soon they were seated together at her little dining table. Conversation had remained within safe topics to begin with, ranging from his opinion on his accommodations to anything he may want or need while he stayed with her. In a moment of boldness spurred on by the intimacy of the setting, he’d given her a flirtatious wink. “I require no more than the pleasure of your company and a place to lay my head at night. Those small privileges alone are enough to allow me to die a happy man.”

She’d seemed pleased and more than a little surprised by his forthrightness. Over the rim of her wine glass, she’d given him an appraising look.

“I don’t know what to make of you, Riov. You’re...not like any Tal Shiar officer I’ve ever met before,” she mused, and he gave a low hum.

“Perhaps our time together will afford both of us some clarity,” he said as he swirled the golden liquid in his glass thoughtfully. “If I may ask, how did you know that I’m the Commander of the T’Met?”

“Ah, that. Since I do so much behind the scenes work for Sloan and Koval, they’ve given me my own isolated database. They send me relevant files when necessary. That PADD you gave me had an access code for a limited view of your personnel file. Nothing too detailed, but basic information like your name, age, and current public assignment listing,” she replied, and S’Talon nodded his head. That was along the lines of what he’d expected.

“What sort of work do you do for our mutual friends? I’m not asking for specifics, I assure you. I understand how this business operates better than most. A generalization or two will be sufficient to satiate my curiosity.” The Riov was intrigued with her beyond measure and found his exhaustion quickly fading in favor of learning about the woman in front of him. Did she have a lover? What sort of activities did she enjoy when she wasn’t assisting the Tal or Section Thirty One? What would her pretty lips feel like against his?

Stop it, you’re getting ahead of yourself, old man.

“Well, to be general about it, I...get into files that I shouldn’t on behalf of both agencies,” she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “Both are very aware that should I desire it, I could see any of their files at any time through my own ingenuity should they give me a reason to no longer be on their side.”

That notion pulled a hearty laugh from S’Talon’s chest. This sweet, considerate, diminutive woman had the heads of two intelligence agencies right where she wanted them. No wonder Sloan had said there was no safer place in the galaxy for him to hide.

“You are not at all what I expected to find here, lhhei,” the Riov exclaimed, and that suited his tastes perfectly.

When the two unlikely housemates finally parted ways to get some sleep that night, they’d made their way through most of the bottle of Koval’s wine that she’d opened and had become familiar enough with one another that the rest of their time together would, hopefully, be as easy as breathing.

~*~*~

Romulan Words:

lhhei = my lady

Khlinae arhem = thank you (inferior to superior)

Riov = Captain

Dhaemnasi = Chairman of the Tal Shiar

~*~

Taglist:

@android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

[inkedmoth]

Not-Yet-Written-Fics Game

Thank you @erathene for tagging me, especially since I haven’t actually started posting anything but still have a bajillion ideas I want to talk about lmao

0. On Swift Wings – Has very much been started/written, but its where most the other ideas stem from so I’m listing it here, that way you’re less in the dark and more in low level lighting.

Rhosynel is a Messenger of Gondor, she and her Messenger bird Ilmara, are tasked with carrying a missive to a Ranger somewhere around Bree. What should be a simple trip there and back again, results in her becoming press-ganged into trailing after the Fellowship, something she is very much Against. Naturally she becomes far too attached to all of them and finds herself unwilling to leave any of them behind or let any of them die, and in a truly unsurprising turn of events, ends up becoming more than a little close with a certain Lord of Gondor.

A reluctant tenth walker Boromir lives fic which already has 50+ chapters written :’D

1. Falconer AU – Also has a lot written.

What if Rhosynel never became a Messenger? What if she took a different path in life? Rhosynel finds herself foisted into the role of falconer for the Kings new hunting birds and must rapidly find her feet despite her own doubts. Set a full year after the destruction of the Ring, this fic is entirely written for Certain Scenes™ and because I adore falconry and birds so wanted to write about that.

Also Boromir lives again. This one is less of a slow burn and more of a flash fire lmao

(was meant to be a thief au and failed spectacularly)

2. Rhosynel’s Backstory Plans – Next to nothing written, could be multiple fics

Follows Rhosynel’s path to becoming a Messenger: Her brief stint in the Southern Rangers before losing someone she loved, which prompted her subsequent career change to become a Messenger. Will absolutely include shenanigans from her Ranger years, various Messenger trips, including one to Mirkwood where she earns herself a messenger bird for her troubles. She nearly dies like, three times.

3. Arranged Marriage – vague idea

Set very shortly after the Ring is destroyed, the kingdoms are scrabbling to find their feet and stake their claims. In a bid to settle things amicably, a marriage is proposed between the daughter of a chieftain (who? where? why? all valid questions) and Captain Boromir (he lives again are you surprised yet?), neither of whom are impressed with this idea in the slightest. Possibly some political intrigue, maybe she was sent as a spy or assassin??, either way there’s culture clashes, disagreements, some pride and prejudice vibes, and whoops it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this.

(Was originally going to be an AU for Rhos again but honestly at this point I may as well just slap a different name on her and call it original lol)

4. Thorongil & Pirate Problems – vague idea

I was reading the wiki and found the sentence “Thorongil travelled to Umbar where he severely damaged the Corsairs fleet in a surprise attack” and my brain promptly decided this was a GREAT idea for a fic and that I should bookmark it for later. It would follow Aragorn and a small team travelling from Minas Tirith to Umbar, with possible detours to Dol Amroth for funsies. I haven’t got much plot beyond “go fight pirates” but I’ve written more with less info so it’ll be fiiine.

(Also potentially Aragorn x OC mischief wink wink)

5. Single word fic ideas

Mulan – Women aren’t permitted in the army, solution; be swift as a coursing river (possible one shot??)

Distractions – Boromir’s working too hard, Rhosynel has a plan to distract him, there’s a desk involved. (less like spice and more like filth)

Stables – Rhosynel backstory on meeting Faramir as a teen while she works as a stable hand, teaches him some Rohirrim and gets flustered.

Mead – People get drunk mischief happens. It’s all self-indulgent filth, I legit don’t know if I’d have the courage to write it.

Picnic – Ladies Day Out, they have a lovely picnic, ride their horses, and gossip about the men.

Missing – After the Rings destruction Boromir goes missing on a diplomatic trip, Rhosynel proceeds to go apeshit in finding him. She may or may not throw someone out a window.

Dark – Boromir takes the Ring and goes rogue, entirely @emilybeemartin’s fault for drawing Dark Boromir and now I’m feral

6. PLOT TWIST it’s a Narnia fic

Because Narnia was my first true fantasy story and I should enjoy myself.

You’re a regular modern girl who’s into home renovations to distract from your boring retail job. You find an old wardrobe at an estate sale, and repurpose its doors for your home. After a rough shift at work, you come home to kick your feet up and zone out to trashy tv, but there’s a problem. The house you’ve entered doesn’t seem to be yours. Promptly exiting it, you find yourself in the middle of a forest. What, the, fuck. That’s it, that’s all I’ve got.

No-pressure tags for @scyllas-revenge and @esta-elavaris because besides @erathene you are the only people I know who write fics lmao

[rianafying]

i’m starving and i’m hungover and i’m in trouble. my sd card got corrupted and i might lose all the work i’ve done in january, which is a LOT of work. i just need to talk to my friends. the timing is bad because they’re either at work or asleep rn. i’m about to throw up.

it’s fine i reached them, after they woke up. spoke to friends, i feel better emotionally. but worse physically because it’s been so long since i’ve had some food. any food. there’s so much shit i need to buy but no money to buy them. i’m scared that one of these days i’ll have to resort to ebegging. i don’t want to do that. because im not even doing that bad but i feel terrible. and im prone to heavily catastrophizing every situation im faced with. somehow i have linked this sd card failure to the downfall of my career that i have worked so hard to build. if you dont have catastrophizing anxiety, you dont know what it feels like to imagine every single worst possible outcome and believe it to be true. but somehow throughout my life, it has been. what i feared kept coming true. but fearing it and being paralysed by it, didn’t help my case. apparently it’s in my brain chemistry to do this and also to have chronic pain. apparently there’s something wrong in my hypothalamus, pituitary gland, amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. they’re are all fucked up and feel wayyy more pain than is ever necessitated. i feel like im spiralling out of control at a faster rate than i can reel it back in. for most of my life ive been getting wounded more than i could heal. and now im limping my way through life, and hating almost every second of it despite trying so hard not to.

i had a full breakdown today, worse than other breakdowns. i feel super defeated. people are being nice to me. somehow that is making me feel even worse. things keep going wrong. there is no escaping tragedy.

day 3 of this same journal entry. i’m officially out of money. even my coins. i have a little bit of usd in my absolute emergency fund, but i really don’t want to have to touch that. i have a week to go before i get paid a bit of money. which will still not be enough because i had to use afterpay to buy some necessary stuff at kmart, and now i have to pay it back. things rlly are tough out here. thinking i should not fix my laptop and instead spend that money like normal. like use it to get by nicely for a while. then what? at what point will i be able to get a real regular job? i found out for sure this month that i can’t make it to work on 25% of days due to my illness. so what work could i do. rlly upset about losing the images on my sd card. i haven’t permanently lost them yet, but, it’s far too expensive to recover. i was considering recovering the data when im in bangladesh but i dont think id trust the data recovery service in dhaka anyway. they’ll probably fail at the task and also ruin my card. things are so wrong rn. my microwave, my pan, my passport, my myki, my financial situation, the burnt skin on my face, my psoriasis and arthritis, my hair situation, my multiple severe nutritional deficiencies and chronic pain, my various mental illnesses, my awful dirty room, my inability to work on any, let alone every, one of these problems. i just get paralysed and bed rot for days. this is officially too much for me. it’s too many things to deal with. i’m not built for even half of this. how can i give up without like kms, like what’s another way to give up? because bed rotting isn’t cutting it. i could really use some help. when i asked for help, my uncle said to visit my friend in sydney, or to visit bangladesh, neither of which is going to actually help my situation, because ill be miserable regardless of where i am, until my problems have been resolved. and both of these things are expensive as fuck, like, what’s a girl supposed to do. i don’t wanna go on a $200 trip to sydney when my sd card requires a $400 data recovery. that’s just the tip of the iceberg that is my situation.

no amount of talking to people, or going on trips is going to solve my problems. which is painful for me to say because i’ve been dying to do something fun for once. not that i don’t have fun in melbourne i do, but that’s cause i try to enjoy work, and romanticise the life i already have. and because im not yet a local local, i can still experience melbourne like a tourist. with fresh eyes. anyway, yeah, im deleting bumble because its stupid, let’s be real im never gonna go on a date w a strangers plus i dont even respond to people because im obviously not ready to actually give this a chance. not yet at least. costar says i let my need for stability stunt relationship growth. but i’m okay with that, or at least i would be if i had any stability. right now i feel like i have the short end of every stick. no it feels like i have no stick at all. the universe or god or whatever is out there is giving me a huge middle finger and laughing at my suffering.

they say that i’m overthinking or that even if there is a problem there’s a solution. what’s the solution to not having enough money to solve my problems? by the time i might have money, these problems will have caused critical damage. what’s the solution to the weight i carry around from never feeling safe or loved my whole entire life. what’s the solution to the mother shaped void in my heart. what’s the solution to the fear of losing my sibling and friends. i cope, and i deal, but it never really goes away. even now as i’ve hit my weekly rock bottom, i’m trying to list things to be grateful for, to see the glass as half full. but i can’t lie, the glass is not half full. i’ve been running on a nearly empty tank for as long as i can remember. even if i somehow manage to get my tank full, there’s like holes in it that can never be permanently patched. i destroy everything i touch, i let down everyone i know, and i keep getting chances. i don’t need another chance. i need a break. i don’t want to prove myself, unless it is to prove that i fail.

i’m told that the broader focus of my life during this time is to clear away built-up structures that have been holding me back. excess is not always abundance. i’m supposed to decide what's worth keeping and what to pass up. apparently my sense of well-being relies on my willingness to seize new opportunities, which is a commendable move for someone who will only settle for all or nothing. “use this moment to streamline your aesthetic by getting rid of excess that no longer gives you pleasure.” this could not be more on the nose. fine i’ll pack some stuff up and head drop it in a donation bin. it will clear up some space in my room too. this might be good. give me some literal and also mental space to work with. also on the nose is “make sure you're not doing that thing where you over-intellectualize your experience, and then convince yourself that you know all the laws of the universe.” okay i get it. thank you for spelling it out for me. maybe now i will finally listen. i’m certainly being spied on. most of life is out of my control but i choose joy.

i couldn’t attend the invasion day protest today because i was on the phone talking a loved one out of killing herself. i shouldn’t feel guilty, it’s not like i had a choice in that scenario. i’m told that in most scenarios, there is no such thing as “fault”. if my goal was to shift blame, i could use all the words in the world to make myself innocent, but that’s not what i want, that’s not what i’m familiar with.

i think that maybe i would like to have a fresh start. i dont know what a fresh start would even look like. to go back in time a couple of years? how many years? at what point was it fresh? go back to when i was born? be born to different people? be a different person? a fresh start to me would be one in which so much is different from how my life is right now, that i don’t know how it would even be mine. this is who i am, all the terrible things that make up, well, me. and a fresh start wouldn’t be me, or it wouldn’t be fresh. i’m stale and im crusty, to the core of my being.

maybe i just need to go on a walk.