#my chest hurts and I love it

[guqin-and-flute]

Something about the fact that these shots are all grouped together, one after another, visually giving them equal weight just gets me. The narrative knows what's going to happen between JGY and Huaisang at this point, knows how it's going to treat JGY at the end of everything. And it still takes time to show Meng Yao instinctively and immediately going in front of Huaisang and Huaisang instinctively and immediately hiding behind him. It takes the time--literally, showed it in the background and focused on it with the same general amount of time as the other shots--to show that this act of protection and trust are just as real and true as Jiang Cheng defending his sister, as Wen Qing defending her younger brother.

Like, I dunno! There are other Nie juniors there! They have swords and shit! Huaisang could have gone and hid behind the wall, but he hid behind Meng Yao! And Meng Yao could have moved back with Huaisang, but he steps directly in front of him!

There's a lot CQL did to JGY's character and narrative that I don't like and that flatten or just straight up erase his full complexity. But I really appreciate the lengths that it went to in Episode 4 to explicitly tell us that he does not hesitate to protect Huaisang, even though at this point he does not have a sword and definitely does not have anywhere near the same cultivation power (if any) as any of the rest of the people in the room.

Right now, after being publicly humiliated, unarmed and definitely outclassed, he is brave. Along with the rest of the characters, he's allowed to be uncomplicatedly young and loyal and just as innocent as any of the other students there.

[pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid]

A lil rant about my experience with this god forsaken fandom

I made this blog around 2020 when I was 13 years old. This was my first shot at a dedicated fandom blog and I was pretty excited for it, to make friends, draw fanart, post fun stuff and what not.

All fun right? Right, so tell me why was it that literal 20 years olds felt the need to harass me, a then 13 year old girl with a relatively small blog, for the dumbest reasons possible?

What did I do that subjected me to 2 and a half years worth constant daily threats and harassment? Hmm???

You wanna know my crime? Apparently I showed interest in an antagonist character, which is so awful that grown adults felt the need to bully me. And following those adults came young impressionable people my age, that joined the bandwagon of hate against me.

As if other fandoms don’t have people literally dedicating themselves to a villain, no one bats an eye to that. Why did this fandom have such an issue? I also apparently dared to criticise the main character for a few of his flaws. Such a horrible thing to do right? I need to be burnt at the stake for it right?

I didn’t follow the “fixed” standards of the fandom so I was to be sent de*th/r*pe threats daily?? For not following the “rules” I was to be ostracised?

No please someone explain…I’m but a dumb bitch, I don’t understand what I did so terribly wrong to deserve this? Did I start a war? Did I rip open someone’s plush? Did I bully someone for not having the same ideology as me?

No it was but the fandom itself that for some reason found it so fun to bully a 13 year old, send her de*th and r*pe threats all because of not being of pjo fandom standards…let’s go and bombard her with hate!!

Do you realise how fucking stupid…this all sounds? Do you realise how low this is? Was bullying a child so fun? So trendy at the time?

Then came the victim blaming- I laugh everytime I remember people saying I must have done something really bad to get such harassment, that it’s all for attention. What kid wants to get hate everyday of their life for 2 whole fucking years? Tell me?

You know wanna know what I did wrong? Fight back, call the hate anons out for their bigotry. I was vocal about it, that’s what I did wrong right? Stand my ground? People said to ignore it and I did. But I still got bullied daily even if I didn’t respond. What was all this for?

I can imagine people asking why I didn’t simply leave the fandom? Why the fuck should I? I enjoy the stories, I enjoy the characters, they were my escape from real life struggles. It was the bullying I didn’t enjoy. Everyday I’d log on to enjoy posts and a few minutes later when the bigots found out I was active I was sent an anonymous threat.

Many of my oldest friends had to reduce the amount they interacted with me in fear of receiving harassment themselves. The extent of this is bigotry is beyond my understanding.

I did not deserve this much suffering AND ALL FOR WHAT? A STUPID LITTLE REASON THAT HAS BARELY ANY WEIGHT TO IT. Do people even realise the extent of what happened is beyond me. And Idc if I sound selfish, I want a fucking apology from all those bigots. I want compensation for the 2 and a half years of abuse I endured alone. I just want this bigotry to end, which surprise surprise! Still continues to happen.

Why do I bring this up now that it’s all over you ask? I’ve actually brought it up once before, but it was swept under the rug, (My deepest appreciation to the very few people who supported me when I first talked about it) I’m just finally being more vocal, because this has stuck with me. For all those 4 years this has stuck with me. It doesn’t mean if it’s over for now that all the trauma doesn’t linger. It still affects me to this day.

In fact I’m still being stalked by one of the people who sent me hate anons. One of the hate anons was revealed to be one of my bestest friends, they had admitted this to me and had the nerve to beg me to still remain friends. They were also the person who groomed me. They have left the fandom scene and I’ve rid of them from my life but they still continue to stalk me.

What do I get from ranting about all this? A bit of solace, a bit of weight off my shoulders. But nearly not enough for me to actually fucking heal. I also want people to realise how bigoted some are and how horrible the mentality of “fixed fandom standards/ideologies” is and that we as a fandom need to fucking change. Heck I know this issues in every fandom. But can we at least start with ours for a change for once?

Along side all of this there’s also a lot of racism and trans/homophobia that still actively prevails. Just look at what Leah went through when her casting was announced. Did she deserve all of that?? “Not my annabeth” do you realise how horrible that is to say to a CHILD? She is Annabeth whether you like it or not. And you are very welcome to leave if you wish to stick to your stupid racist nonsense.

I bet there are many others who have probably suffered the same may it not be for the same reasons, but everyone of them deserve their apologies and compensation as well.

Idc if I’ll get hate for this. I said what I said. I’m just so done.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

@val-the-bun you are Evil. You are evil putting this in my inbox.

More were-harpy Vaggie but it's sad now and everything HURTS (copy pasted here bc the format in the ask got effed but i refuse to suffer this alone)

val-the-bun asked:

And then, of course, *the trial happens*.

And *the absolute shit timing of the fallout*.

Charlie is too stuck in her own spiral while vaggie just... Tries to hole up on her own (her usual 'nest' was in their suite. But she didnt want charlie to have to deal with her).

Charlie is curled up on vaggie's side of the bed, buried in blankets while she questions if anything they had was real.

While vaggie is in agony for the first time in three years since she'd started changing. Every fiber of her being wants to call for charlie. Yearns for that safety... but instead she bites her tongue and just curls in on herself, alone in the room she hastily barred shut. ~~She deserves this. To be alone.~~

Not sure which hazbin is the one to hear vaggie's pain and tries to check on her (let's go with angel and husk).

The hasty barricade she put on the door isnt enough. Not when the others are trying to force it open.

Vaggie tries to scream for them to go away. The last scrap of clarity she has before that warning turns into a predatory *shriek*. Vaggie's monster form tears apart the already falling barricade, and bursts into the hall.

'WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!'

'Fuck if I know, just run! Angel, hurry up!'

Vaggie is *tearing through the halls*, jaws snapping after Husk and Angel. They manage to hit the lobby, Husky grabbing Angel and flying like his life depends on it.

Meanwhile monster vaggie leaps after them... *right into the chandelier*.

Charlie hears the sound of that distant, shattering crash down below, and she *realizes*. Suddenly those painful worries have to get shoved down as charlie bolts out of their room.

'Please dont hurt anyone. Please, please, *please...!'*

Charlie's heart sinks as the shadows around the hotel start to writhe, and radio static fills the air.

'My my, what a surprising turn!'

Vaggie is *shrieking*, thrashing against shadowy tendrils as she tries to claw at Alastor.

'Now now. *Stay down*'

A rap of his cane, and vaggie's practically being crushed into the floor.

'What the fuck is wrong with you?!'

Husk is holding Angel back, looking away as Alastor starts to raise his hand. He cant watch this...

'Let her go.'

Alastor freezes when he feels the tip of an angelic spear under his chin.

There, standing at his side, in her full demon form, *is Charlie*.

'Ah, miss Charlotte. Lovely to see--'

'Let. Her. *Go!'*

For a moment, everything is quiet except for the sounds of vagging struggling, her talons digging into the floor. She's bleeding, golden blood pooling on the lobby floor... *And dripping from the claws on Alastor's hand.*

'Oh, very well. Good luck!'

Vaggie is snarling when Alastor lets her go. She starts getting ready to pounce when Charlie steps in front of her, spear in hand. Vaggie starts backing away, looking less like a predator and more... *like a cornered animal*. Her whole body seems coiled to run away as she keeps backing up, snarling and shrieking more in warning than anything else.

'Was it a lie?'

Vaggie shrieks at her, swiping at the air in the hopes Charlie would stay away.

'When you told me you didnt know what this was, was it a lie?'

Angel starts to step forward, but husk grabs his arm.

'Just let them do this...'

'Did. You. Lie?!'

Vaggie backs right into the wall, feathers flaring with a hiss.

'Was any of it real?'

Charlie can feel the tears on her cheeks. But what she wasnt expecting was to see tears in Vaggie's eye... Even as she snarled, and shrieked, and snapped her fangs, she was crying.

Charlie presses forward, Vaggie raising up over Charlie with a hawk-like screech, talons lashing out... But they dont connect, her talons *trembling* as they stilled inches from Charlie's face, her own spear aimed at her chest. Vaggie's eye is wild and afraid, but Charlie can see the *pain* there, too. She let out another shriek, closing her eye like she was bracing for the inevitable...

[aurorangen]

Time will heal the wounds Held deep in my heart But still leave the scars That are tearing me apart

[platimoonie]

"stay still!" you mumble, one hand coming down to grip his shoulder lightly and then moving back to cup the side of his face near his ear. "i am still, your hands are shaking." barou says gruffly and dryly, raising an eyebrow up as he observes your face. your lips are parted slightly in concentration, and eyebrows furrowed as you try to move the shaving razor smoothly across his lower jaw.

" 'm not shaking" you huff under your breath. barou doesn't say anything, a small smirk forming on his face. your eyes flicker up to his and you can't help but feel warm under his intense gaze. you bite down on your lower lip to stop the growing giddy smile you're about to spout. turning your attention back to shaving him, you continue your previous actions.

you look very kissable right now, is what barou thinks as he continues to stare at you. you're sitting on the bathroom counter, your legs locked behind his hips, and he's faintly aware of your bare thighs pressing against him and the heat seeping into him through the material of his boxers comfortably. his large hands rest on your hips as his right thumb slips under the hem of your loose tshirt, running slow circular motions on your skin. this position feels so intimate, its making barou's mouth run dry. something he would never admit though.

"okay i'm done, take a look!" you beam proudly after a moment as you wipe off the excess shaving cream with a towel, shifting slightly to properly allow him to look at the mirror behind you.

breaking his gaze from you, barou glances at the mirror. he tilts his head slightly, inspecting the work. to his trained eye, barou catches a few small spots that weren't exactly shaved correctly, a few stray hairs still visible. but when his eyes fall back on you, looking at him so eagerly and so earnestly, he doesn't say it. barou, the perfectionist, cannot say anything when you look at him like that. he nods his head approvingly. "mhm' good job" he hums, patting your hip softly. you giggle as you lean forward and kiss his nose, resting your palms on his shoulders. "told ya i could do it didn't i?" you grin. barou doesn't say anything, a soft and rare smile beginning to grow in his lips. he's in too deep now isn't he?

[fiendishartist2]

//You were suddenly aware, that the autumn leaves were turning the colour of her hair. Never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning reel, as the images unwind like the circles that you find - in the windmills of your mind//

[purplecatghostposts]

HLVRAI Gordon is such a good character and I love his mannerisms. There are several points in the series where he lays a hand on someone’s shoulder when talking to them and pats them or how he catches Benrey when he gets stuck on the ladder and he seems like such a physically affectionate guy. He’s also first to be concerned when someone is hurt and is in genuine distress when people die, a fact that only really changes when Gordon steadily realizes that nobody in the Science Team can really die.

He’s baffled by their antics but he laughs and plays along with a lot of them too. He says goodnight to everyone and tells a story to Coomer when he asks. He forgives pretty easily when people show remorse for what they’ve done and he’s always trying to clean off the alien goop when it gets on people. He sits them down in a circle to talk and bond with them more than once. He’s such a DAD and it’s great.

Everyone who writes Gordon being goofy and having a great time with all of them once they’re out of danger is so right because if you take Gordon out of all the danger they’re put it, eliminating his main source of stress, he’s just a guy having a good time!

[gobliiine]

Ashton went looking for answers and the answer was definitively that you were fated to be what you are, you were always going to be great

and they said no fuck that. but I will be anyway

[thebirdandhersong]

breaking the tumblr fast to ask for prayer :') it is currently the WORST of times (though, in intense joyous flashes, occasionally also the best of times). I am bulldozing my way through the dregs of midterms, final exam prep, graduation plans, job applications, dorm volunteer stuff, all while trying to deal with/reckon with/endure/come to terms with/persevere through literally the deepest emotional pain I've ever been in lol

[soullessjack]

having a lot of deer on the mind tonight 🦌

[calware]

esophagus spasm

[jasperyourmutt]

strong powerful puppy dog got his chest tattooed today and now hes very eepy

[gideonisms]

If harrow decides to destroy the entire universe to get Gideon back she will be right to do so. Imo

[loveshotzz]

"What're you doing?" You hear his voice intertwine with Bandit's happy post dog park barks, bounding toward you while you hold two ceramics up over your head. "Look, there was a little chill this morning -- it kind of put me in a mood," you shrug. "Go lay down," Steve encourages to Bandit, who takes his place in the worn dog bed by the sliding doors. Steve scratches at the stubble on his jaw, coming in brown and grey and white, "Honey, it's August." "It's almost the end of August," you explain, putting the two ceramics on his mantle in the living room. Crudely painted busts of Frankenstein and The Bride of Frakenstein, "So it's basically Halloween." "Babe, I don't...I don't really decorate for the holidays," he explains softly. "I know, that's what Eddie said, but I think -- maybe you could use a little fun since All Stars are starting soon," you smile, "I even got some cobweb stuff, you can help. Maybe this can be a thing." "A thing?" he smiles back, making his way over to you. A tanned hand runs from the top of your shoulder down your back, over your hip. He looks at what you've done so far; a few trinkets here and there. The busts. Aa string of lights pitifully hanging from one side of the wall above the fireplace because you couldn't quite get the other. "A thing," you reply. With his arm around you, you can smell the blend of deodorant and faded cologne. All mixed up with his skin and drying sweat, your cheeks warm, leaning into his side. "Let me get a stool so we can get those lights up right," he says, pressing a kiss to your temple, "You're gonna have to show me how the cobweb stuff works. Y'know -- since this is our thing now." Our thing. Our thing.

--definitely not carol, or is it?

me ugly crying because I did decorate today and I did think of my old man while doing it and here’s carol leaving me this lavish gift 🥹😩😭

I MISSED THEM SO MUCH 😭

thank you carol, I love you!

[desertduality]

kicking my feet and giggling writing the most emotionally devastating scene to ever grace my google document <3

[ad-hawkeye]

love the new forum feature that lets us know: yes, more than half of the lbc cast would be absolutely insufferable on reddit