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#my family is sick of hearing about it
usedtobeguest123 · 2 years
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Encantober - Transformation
Hello, can I talk your ear off about the music in Encanto, specifically Bruno's instrumental themes????? What if I promise to give you some unsolicited character writing tips on the side....😁
So was on the struggle bus with my current WIP that focuses on Bruno, and wanted to reconnect with the characters in order to better ground my depictions of them. Rather than watch the movie (again), I decided to listen to the instrumental versions of Lin-Manuel's songs as well as Germaine Franco's amazing score, and wrote a little way longer than planned analysis to condense my thoughts.
I'm nerding out a bit about it all (okay, I'm nerding out a lot…), so I wanted to post it for my fellow Encanto lovers to nerd out with me. Today's Encantober theme is transformation, so thought it was a fitting day to post it :)
A rough musical analysis by a very non-musical music lover below the cut 😊
1) Songs: WDTAB/All of You
To recognize Bruno's main instrumental theme, it helps to start with the instrumental version of All of You. It's easy to pick out here, as it plays in the part where he is singing (and in one other place…more on that later). Listen in at 1:08. This is when Camilo would be singing "So, we're gonna talk about Bruno?"---and leads right into when Bruno sings for himself. His theme is a sort of boom dih dih dih boom dih dih dih boom dih…dih…dih (yes, those are the technical terms), a strong base hit interspersed with plucky-piano. 
What I love about this theme is how it mimics the movements of the character, and defines how he interacts with and perceives his environment.
Bruno often moves with big jerky movements sandwiched by small fidgets—hesitation, explosion, hesitation/doubt, explosion, very rat like. When a rat moves, it evaluates the environment, moves, pauses and sniffs some more, moves again. The tip-toe of the piano gives the feel of creeping or gingerly stepping, while the boom recreates the jerk into action, the push to make a big move, framed by caution. 
This says a lot about Bruno's perception of the world. He's grown to be wary of his environment, like a rat sensing out danger. If he's gonna move, better make it quick (maybe before he talks himself out of it!), and then pause again to re-evaluate if it's safe to keep going. He avoids detection, tip-toes, sneaks from cover to cover—you can almost see him moving when you listen, shoulders hunched, hood drawn. Bruno is wary of being seen, as being seen has meant danger to him in one way or another. Many fans have interpreted what this danger looked like in many different ways (from social ostracization to actual physical danger), but at the very least we can identify a high level of learned social anxiety that forces him to proceed with caution and keep a low profile when interacting with others (more on that later). Bruno has learned to tread carefully because of how others have perceived him, through the lens of his gift. 
Of course, once he's in the walls, fear of being seen takes on a whole new meaning. Discovery at that point would mean the consequences of discovery of the vision as well, and discovery of his shame—he never left/couldn't leave, and has been reduced to a rat in the walls of his own home.
When Camilo is singing, we hear a different feature associated with Bruno—the whine of a synth keyboard (I think?). It gives me major theremin vibes, and the song draws on that classic horror sound to drive home a "villain," seven-foot-frame image of Bruno, as portrayed by Camilo—-and, more importantly, as seen by the townspeople. 
Let's backup to WDTAB. If you listen to that instrumental version, you can hear that the synth sound picks up right away (on the line "Bruno walks in with a mischievous grin," no less!). It comes in and out, and even picks up a more complex melodic pattern here. It's the townspeople's fear—but it's not a horrific dread sound; it's actually a bit playful. Now, part of this is because it's a Disney bop, but I like to think that this also points to the nature of rumors—we get enjoyment from spreading them, and the Encanto-folk are clearly eager to dish. Listen to how creepy this guy was! Ooooo doesn't it give you the shivers?! It's like a fun ghost story around the campfire. This juicy piece of gossip is a favorite to share. 
BUT Bruno's actual theme—the one we hear when he actually speaks in All of You—doesn't appear until 1:33 of WDTAB. It's when the townspeople are sharing their grievances that we really hear his tip-toe, like he's tip-toeing through the minefield of their complaints. Now we can see the shapes he's learned to step around—you can almost see him weaving through their disgruntled narratives in the song. The music shows that here is where that learned social anxiety was formed.
Note that the theremin synth drops away when Isabela and Dolores sing their parts in WDTAB. When Isa sings hers, the plucked rhythm of the strings mirrors Bruno's plucked string style in his theme, though the melody changes. I think this speaks again to careful footing—they both share anxiety at being found out, being truly seen, and live life having to tiptoe their way through social interactions. Where as Bruno's plucked strings are jerky, Isa's are more graceful. When Dolores picks up, the plucked strings are replaced with a symphonic strings in a very romantic princess-esk style of longing. 
To tie things up, let's pull forward again to All of You. In this song, notice the theremin-synth sound also drops away as soon as Bruno speaks, and we don't hear it again. We are left with the real Bruno—meek, anxious, and full of nervous energy, the antithesis of scary. The theremin really only appears in Camilo's part, highlighting again the one character in the song who was really only there for the novelty of the rumor and the story telling opportunity, and had no memory of the real guy. THAT'S Bruno???
In the end of Bruno's part in All of You, the melody overtakes his theme, symbolizing his unconditional acceptance by his mother and sisters and his reintegration into the family. 
Also, let's not forget the nod to Let It Go! It's perhaps just an easter egg, but character-wise, I like to think it's also testament to his use of quirky meta-humor to deflect and avoid uncomfortable vulnerability. Does everyone in the room always get his jokes? Nope! But he can still disappear in the confusion!
Character Takeaways, for writing reference: 
When uncomfortable, Bruno often moves and speaks in quick, nervous bursts, interspersed with small fidgety movements.
Nervous energy reigns supreme. Bruno hides behind quirky, lighthearted, sometimes meta humor as a way to deflect and avoid being seen/made vulnerable.
Bruno has learned to literally and figuratively tiptoe around the townspeople, and eventually, around his own family. Post-movie/All of You Bruno is unlearning/releasing this social anxiety around his family through the experience of (unexpected) unconditional acceptance 
Isabela shares a similar underlying social anxiety to Bruno, though it manifests differently. They both have experienced having to tread carefully around other's expectations
Camilo is full of it. 😆 He feeds off of the environment to parody it, finding his drive in giving the people what they want to see—much like his gift. This can be a boon and a detriment to his character.
Knowing/hearing the real Bruno dispels the rumors that evolved in his absence
2) Instrumentals: The Rat's Lair, Tío Bruno, and It Was Me
I'm sure there is a lot more to say about these three pieces, but my main takeaway comes from the contrast between plucked strings/knocking percussion and wind instruments/bowed strings in Bruno's pieces, and how they reveal his layered character and his developmental arch.
In The Rat's Lair, we get Mirabel's (and our) first real impression of Bruno. Whereas the chase scene leading up to this piece is full of cacophonous, screechy strings (Chasing the Past), this piece has replaced those fearful sounds with plucked strings. We again get that image of tiptoeing, and it's playful. His room is full of mischievous rats, he's nervous and jumpy, and Mirabel is just trying to figure out what the heck is going on. We get a nice contrast between the expected Bruno (scary) and the real Bruno (quirky, but sweet and harmless). Also present are a bunch of percussive knocks, a nod to his superstitious/compulsive knocking.  
Contrast this with Tío Bruno. This piece plays when Mirabel first peeks through the crack to the dining room, finally getting a look at the real tragedy of Bruno's situation. Tío Bruno has the main Encanto theme throughout (we also hear it when the Encanto is being created at the beginning of the movie). It's a nod to the miracle, but it's mournful here, with parts in a minor key. The miracle has had tragic consequences for Bruno. Tío Bruno is full of woodwind instruments and bowed strings (as opposed to plucked). Rather than nervous tiptoeing, we get raw emotion, frequently underlined by a sustained guitar tremolo (??) that speaks to the familial tension driving it all. Tío Bruno plays when Mirabel gets past all the nervous deflection and connects with Bruno in a meaningful and vulnerable way. Under it all, Bruno is deeply sad, carrying the dismay of a miraculous gift gone awry and the tragic consequences of his last vision. 
Finally, we have It Was Me, which acts as a redemptive contrast to Tío Bruno. In this piece, the plucked strings return (he's nervous, confused by Abuela's unexpected embrace). It then transforms into a grand symphony as Mirabel, Abuela, and Bruno take off on the horse toward the ruined Casita, and then a chorus singing the Encanto theme when Julieta is reunited with Mirabel. It ends with the All of You theme. All of this follows the action of the scenes from Mirabel's perspective, BUT if we look at this from a Bruno perspective, apart from the scenes' action, we get a redemptive arc. 
It Was Me carries Bruno's nervous plucked strings (tiptoe, anxiety) to disappear in the Encanto theme chorus (miracle, hope). He is reunited with the Miracle (his family, the true gift) and the sadness of the Tío Bruno theme is changed into the hopeful chorus that the Miracle once was (major key?) as heard in the beginning of the film. From there, the song moves into the to the All of You theme as Bruno is finally on his way to being seen and unconditionally accepted, a true healing moment. 
Character Takeaways, for writing reference: 
Bruno hides behind humor to deflect away from those vulnerable places within him. Maybe it's painful, maybe it's an attempt to keep the burden from those he loves (a cool analysis on that here!), maybe he's afraid of being rejected for being weak. Regardless, he has a deep sadness hidden underneath the nervous, quirky exterior, and Mirabel is the one to break through to it
When Bruno's defenses are down, the music slows down, and so does the movements of his character. It's like the weight of it all catches up to him, and he drops his attempts to be upbeat and lighthearted. He eventually picks the jumpy style of movement back up again in the film, when Mirabel begins to feel the weight of the situation (OR NOT! It's a mystery, it's a mystery…). In sum, when he is nervous (most of the time), he is deflecting, humorous, playful on the outside, with a deeper sadness carried within.
3) WAIT WAIT MY FAVORITE PART as a FINAL note I swear:
Bruno's theme reappears in a strange place at the end of the movie, in All of You. At 2:56, he's no longer speaking; in fact, he's not even in the scene! What's happening in the song? It's none other than the moment that Dolores opens up to Mariano (I can take it from here, GOODBYE). Bruno's theme underlies Dolores' entire speech to Mariano, but then the theme transforms at the end, rising up and bleeding into the All of You melody.
Why bring him in here? I think it's a moment of redemption. Bruno's 'bad' prophecy for Dolores is cast in a new light. The time pining after the "man of her dreams, betrothed to another," has built up in her this momentum, manifested as courage to speak out and demand what she wants (Wake up and NOTICE me!). At the moment that Mariano verbalizes that he sees her, Bruno's theme transforms into the All of You theme. Dolores is seen, all of her, and the moment arises from the backdrop of her Tío's prophecy. Perhaps this symbolizes a freedom from the confines of the prophecy, but maybe...if not for the years of not having the love she longed for, would she have had the courage to seize the moment when it came? Bruno's prophecy comes true in a way they'd never imagined, and with that comes hope—the promise of transformation. 
End of essay 😁
People more musically inclined, please feel free to add to this! Also, please excuse any misuse of musical terms, my musical vocab is wanting. I am a non-musician in a very musical family, so when it comes to music, I often feel like I've missed something important… 😆
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imperiuswrecked · 6 months
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I hope people remember.
When Gaza is razed to the ground I hope people remember those who were lost. When the rest of the Palestinians who are being massacred all across Palestine are gone I hope the world remembers them all. I hope those who loved them celebrate their memory.
I hope the people whose hands are coated in the blood of these beautiful, brave people remember. I hope they are haunted by their actions every single moment of their entire lives. I hope they feel the suffering that every single Palestinian felt every second of their lives. I hope it's the last thought in their head when they die.
I will remember. I will never forgive.
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Semi related to what I just talked about
But I remember once, when I was a kid, maybe thirteen or so, I had a dream about doxing before I even knew what doxing was
Like, no wonder it scares me, I've been scared of it before I knew what it was even called
And then I later befriended someone who doxed people lol
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ppl will go “i’d notice if society was going to sacrifice a marginalised group of people and if they said that it’s ok that a bunch of people would die then i would stand against it” and then they’ll hear people saying “well only disabled and vulnerable people will die of covid” and go “yes this is normal and ok and fine”
#first of all it’s not only disabled people who are dying and also covid can disable you real quick and make you part of that group that#people are fine with dying#but also do y’all hear yourself bed sometimes. the amount of people who claim to be allies but with throw others aside as soon as it#interferes with their comfort#also there have been so many studies and reports and articles on how covid disproportionally affects poc. not to mention inequalities in#healthcare that come into play too when you’re dealing with a pandemic#but as soon as y’all have to stop going to parties or restaurants or isolating for two weeks when exposed or confirmed positive or even if#you suspect you have it. or any of the millions of other things that at this point are important facets of community care and protecting#yourself and others from a disease that has been proven and continues to be proven to do a lot of damage to the body#y’all just balk. you don’t drop your claims but that doesn’t mean you’ve dropped your allyship#I’d love to go back to normal. i’d love to go out without a mask and eat in restaurants and do all the things i did before covid#but i won’t. because i know that isn’t safe for me or my friends/family/community and also quite literally isn’t possible now because we’re#still in a pandemic. if you claim to be an ally to disabled people then prove it and mask#I can’t speak as fully on allyship to other communities who are disproportionately impacted but not masking harms everyone and if anyone#does want to speak on allyship to their communit(y/ies) feel free to go ahead#covid tw#fired up about this because i’m doing radioactive iodine treatment in a few weeks and my mother is taking no precautions. not only am i at#risk if i catch covid but if she gets sick i either have to postpone my treatment to care for her (which risks giving my cancer more time to#metastasise if there are cells left) or i have to figure out another plan for treatment since my current plan hinges on her help since i#have to isolate#im just tired and frustrated. a pandemic doesn’t stop just because you get bored#vent tw#this is not as eloquent as i wish it was and the lack of punctuation and tone can make parts confusing but i think y’all get my point
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stupid-dyke · 2 months
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I can tell i am now experienceing actual real sleep deprivation and not just the omnipresent idiopathic hypersomnia fake sleepiness that my stupid lying body never shuts up about. I can tell because I am fallijng asleep in class regardless if I take my medication and I feel like everything is so, incredibly stupid and horrible, and everyone giving me homework or telling me to do anything is attacking me. And I can;t hold a conversation. And people are noticing my strange manner and pointing out that I seem wrong. And yet here we are AGAIN I have AGAIN stayed up late AND not gotten any work done. And on top of that I broke my fucking glasses tonight because I left them sitting on my fucking bed. And I'm freaking my parents out by crying over the phone and also I think I actually injured my shoulder last week its been hurting for four days now. and I'm so sad and mad at myself for not sleeping and not working but I can't work because I havent slept and I cant sleep because I havent worked. And every single time I get in a bad time like this my dad worries im going to die because i was suicidal for like a week in 2019 and then he gets mad at me for worrying him and I feel so so so guilty. Im so so sad.
#and I dont want to fuckign sleep even though i really need to and I spend every fucking seconf of every fucking day being sleepy#because even when I get enough sleep im still FUCKING sleepy so what is the FUCKING point. Why not just NOT FUCKING SLEEP.#Im so fucking sick of myself and my body and my pain and my stupidity.#AND ITS SO STUPID BECAUSE HERE I AM MISSING ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS SCARING MY FAMILY WEIRDING OUT OTHER STUDENTS AND MAKING MY PROFS HATE ME#BECAUSE IM FUCKING SLEEPY. stupidest fucking sounding reason on earth to have a fucking crisis.#no one ever hears me say im sleepy and thinks oh thats really serious i really want to help you now its literally just annoying to ppl#haha wait til you have kids or get older or a full time job ha ha#cool I am fuckign terrified of the future because I know how mad everyone gets at me when im too disabled to do what im supposed to#and I know its going to get to a point where I can't and there will probably be no one left to help me. I'm almost certainly going to outli#outlive my parents and my sister and even if i ever get married ill probably also get divorced so I'll be all alone#friendships aren't safe becuase you can love someone so much for 5 years and she just tells you one day she doesn't want to be burdened#by you anymore and you never hear from her again#its a dark scary fucking world and you want me to be passionate about a field of study or something?? jesus christ can you all just fuck of#I dont want to go to grad school i dont want to work i dont want to live alone i dont want to live with my parents forever#my head hurts so much goodnight guys sorry for ranting its literally fine im literally just really sleepy sorry for being melodramatic
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tepli-mravenci · 6 months
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The moment I see a person waving "traditional family" around I start getting sick, I'm not even gonna argue with that person it would ruin my whole day
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anotheryoutubefanpage · 4 months
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Ive had the most annoying day this month.
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x-itzzzzzz-x · 8 days
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i think i should go back to therapy
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queen-mabs-revenge · 10 months
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.
#found out last night in a family video chat that one of my younger cousins is planning on going into the police academy in florida#and i've been sick about it all day#apparently my uncle who is a retired nypd sergeant doesn't even want him to do it#but my cousin thinks its the only straightforward path to stability?#i remember talking to my aunt a while back when i was getting my adhd diagnosis and she mentioned that she thought my cousin fit the profil#and had been struggling a lot with school and just motivation#he decided not to go to college bc he just felt like he couldn't go through it which is fine but now i think he's struggling from that#bc apparently he was doing volunteer work with kids and loved it and wanted to look into becoming a preschool or kindergarten teacher#but the amount of schooling was too daunting for him both process and costwise#and they're gagging for cops down there and it's 20yrs and a guaranteed pension after that#and i'm just sick to my stomach about it bc this is a kid who wants to be a ***preschool teacher*** he's such a sweet kid#he's really sensitive and gentle and i'm just sick over the fact that he feels like the constructive field of becoming an educator#is inaccessible to him on all levels -- and the pigs are there with open arms#just thinking of him being broken by the police academy into that mold is sickening#*especially* in florida where considering the laws he's gonna be having to enforce.....#like kid you're gonna have to be bashing in the heads of queer protestors. antifascist protestors. climate activists. striking laborers.#what kind of brutality are they gonna do to make him agree to that#beyond the brutality of inaccessibility that's brought him to this point so far???#my sisters and i decided we're gonna talk to him about it -- i'm gonna def hear what he's thinking when i'm home#i'm just...like i said i'm just sick about it
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piplupod · 2 months
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mother: "theres this great job where you'd be on-call to come in!"
me: "ahhh i don't really want to be on-call, that would stress me out a lot because I'd always be on edge,,"
mother: "no you wouldn't, you could make it your thing!"
me: "...my thing?"
mother: "being on call! it'd be great! :)"
me: "i would probably be crying like... a lot ahaha. because I would always be on edge never knowing when to expect having to go into work, yknow?"
mother: "nooo, you could just make it a thing!"
me: "sorry, what do you mean by thing?"
AND I NEVER FOUND OUT !!
#i feel very ill fdsjkl tonight was ... not good#not the worst definitely not the worst#just. a lot of diet talk and making fun of other ppl that she expected us to all laugh at (and we did. idk if they found it funny.)#and brother labelling some influencer having rape charges against him just ''internet drama''#number one: i dont want to hear about that. number two: that is not just ''drama'' that is like. serious. what the fuck is wrong w youuuu#my mother will say that all the food i eat is very bad for me and do that while knowing full well i struggle to eat Anything#and say that simply Adding things to the diet is pointless bc ur poisoning urself still! u have to Take Out things! i cant fucking do that!#im still baffled that two years ago when i tried to go to them for help when i was almost fainting from not eating they just shrugged at me#''okay? why are u telling us this?'' BECAUSE YOU ARE MY PARENTS. AND I AM TRYING TO GET HELP.#i should've known better than to try tbh but like. its so hard to completely let go of every sliver of hope that they'll... be kind#like me saying i was feeling suicidal a few yrs ago just garnered a ''oh don't start this again. we're not doing this again.''#and me admitting my own damn self to the psych ward just had her telling me ''i dont think you actually needed to go :/''#mother dearest if it werent for the other fuckers in the brain (caused by you abusing me) then i would've been dead several times over#i am so fucking tired i am so sick of these ppl it is so incredibly painful and terrifying that this is supposed to be my family#this is the one support system i get in life. and it is no support system at all. i am fucked !! i am so unbelievably fucked!!!#i know other ppl make it thru but they are much stronger than me. i am lacking something that they all have lmao. i am cowardly and weak!!!#i have been trying so fucking hard to figure out how to like. make this work. how to survive in this society and its just. impossible#i think we're back to the clock ticking down as my bank account runs out#i cannot be employed and ppl keep telling me disability won't accept me so i am just. unanimously fucked over i suppose#i have two years !! two years until i run out of money!!! thats a lot of time!! to make all the art i want to make!!#i will make this work for these two years i will cope and make my art and disconnect and daydream through the intolerable parts#i will make these two years so good sdfjkl im gonna make it to the end of them#sorry this is all coming flooding out fsjdkl i've just tried so hard to be like. positive abt things and laugh abt things and be okay#im tired of trying to make it okay fdsjkl i am wallowing tonight i guess. boohoo poor little me fdsjkl i'll probably get over it soon#just need to like. let a little of the pressure leak out so i don't completely crack and do smth stupid#it will be okay !!! or as okay as it can be !!! this will be blocked out by tomorrow morning probably!!#or it'll have to be LMAO i have my silly old lady yarn group tomorrow and i need to be Normal for that#suicide tw#abuse tw#ed tw
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xsilversugar · 1 year
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Tagging this in the fandom as I first learned about Cashapp through Critical Role sponsorships and I don't know how else to draw attention to this issue. Please note; I know Critical Role is not responsible for any of this and they probably aren't even aware of the dangers this app presents so please don't think I'm making a statement about them. I just wanna talk about something I feel is important for everyone to be aware of. That's all. With that out of the way:
Do not use Cash App! Their system can glitch creating duplicate payments that come out from your account immediately which the company then outright refuses to refund. They put the onus entirely upon individual users to sort out their mistakes which goes about as well as you expect when someone decides to be dishonest and abscond with the sudden boon of funds they did not earn.
While I understand it was a lapse in judgement on my part to trust the random guy who approached me to help cut the tree and make repairs when it fell, destroying my fence and a structure, the app's glitch duplicating payments ($350x2 in my case) should never have been allowed to occur. It should not be on me to hound someone to do the right thing and repay me. This kind of thing can put people into financial ruin and there are other reviews on the app showing this has been a known issue for a long time! Their official response and lack of customer service has been abysmal and frankly insulting.
I do not want this to happen to anyone else.
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"We recommend use the app with the same caution you would with physical cash." If cash could spontaneously duplicate itself I wouldn't be in this situation now would I, assholes?! Ugh.
Thank you for reading; take care and stay safe out there friends!
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jvzebel-x · 8 months
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🦋
#so i got a message from my sister telling me something rather tragic had happened in our family#on my mom's side. one of my aunties passed away&my little sister let me know.#she also let me know that my mother is taking it really hard&shed probably really like to hear from me.#&its weird bc any sadness i felt about my aunty dying almost completely evaporated upon it becoming a way to guilt me#into talking to my mother-- like i was not almost dead for a long LONG time&she was actively disowning me bc i wasnt sick the right way#after a lifetime of refusing to believe i was sick AT ALL which directly lead to developing cancer she screamed at me in public#that i was lying about before pretending to drive off a cliff&then refusing to pick up her phone until she called me an hour later#after i had been calling not just her but anyone in our family who could possibly check on her to tell me that i never loved her#&i wouldnt have cared if she died&it would have been my fault.#so like. i dont really give a fuck if shes taking a death in the family poorly? like i dont actually fucking care that this-- like literally#everything else-- needs to center my mother's bad feelings. i just fucking dont lmao.#&im really fucking pissed off that i now have to feel like shit bc i dont feel like i properly feel bad#about my family member dying bc IT BECAME ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER IMMEDIATELY.#i do not fucking UNDERSTAND.#i cannot even put into words how this all makes me feel lmao. why. literally fucking why.#the cherry on top? my aunty died of gastric issues. you know. the family curse that i def didnt get so i got to work thru it all#while being called a liar. you know the type of illness that almost killed ME. that might STILL kill me.#but yeah my mom is sad so i should call&make sure to hold her hand like i always fucking did lets just forget an entire lifetime#&esp the last five years thatll be totally cool.#a tragedy happened in the family so fuck all MY tragedies actually i guess.
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valkyrieace · 2 years
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Help me
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texas-bbq-pringles · 7 months
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i get to see jake kiszka in person
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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To be fair RGGO Arakawa's son is confirmed either dead or unborn so it's A LITTLE less funny than him raising a normal son looking like that... still funny though I'm obsessed with him...
Speaking of Arakawa, I'm still going nuts about whatever's going on with him in IW. His voice line in the trailer in the trailer was so sweet but he uhhh Isn't Looking Too Sweet in the screenshots...
With Akane being in the game, I really wanna know whose perspective we're remembering him from too, since prior to that it seemed pretty certain it'd be either Jo or Ichiban. It's young Arakawa specifically, so it has to be between Jo and Akane as far as we know. I'm certain Jo has seen him go apeshit, but if Akane has and she fell for him anyway? Way of the Househusband-core... that'd say SO much about her... sooooo true though queen...
You’ll have to sue me because I Forgor the only thing i remembered was that his son Was Not Deranged. Which yeah i guess you cant be deranged if youre dead (^∇^)
I DIDNT EVEN HEAR HIS VOICE LINE THO WHAT if it was in the Official story trailer then oops.. lol.. i’ll take your word for it until im fucked enough to actually watch it LOL
Akane’s already a confirmed bamf if her not only booking it out of the hospital right after giving birth and escaping At The Time one of japan’s (or at least kamurocho’s don’t shoot me) most notorious clans to hawaii and then STILL having people after her. ACTUALLY had to get her out of the scene because she would’ve been too powerful otherwise
#snap chats#see i wasnt going to mention rggo arakawa’s son since i didnt remember exactly what happened to him. this is my crime and punishment#live and learn etc etc sonic the hedgehog reference#unrelated tag ramble time i just need to throw up somewhere or i will explode#anyway im aggressively trying to fight the urge to drink a bottoe of jack because my mom sucks and now i hate getting messages from my bro#cause its just shit my mom wants to tell me and everythings awful and i want to die 🥰#wont tho. unfortunately. i have commissions to fulfill#and I GUESS gaidens coming out in just a little over a month and I GUESS 2x infinite wealth is coming Dick Ass Fast As Hell#so UNFORTUNATELY. i cant play irl frogger until then#i wish i could draw at least but NOOO stupid ass left his stupid ass charger at his stupid ass mom’s#NO I JUST REMMBERE AND TONIGHT WAS MY SOCIAL PSYCH CLASS SO O COURSE I WAS GURANTEED A BAD TIME#i promise everytime i leave that class im more bitter at how much positive family talk we have to do#it makes me sick like SOOOO glad to hear all of you have stanle family relationships.. mine only exist when im about to jump off a bridge#WHATEVER as i was sulking home i saw a butterfly pendant and even if i JUST bitched bout family#butterflies still make me think of my sis so.. auspicious things to come i hope….#ok im done complainin LOL BYE#since i got home and beating the alcoholic urges ive just been laying in bed thinking of arakawa#i MUST draw him as soon as i can……. k im done fr this time i made a pot of tea and id like to drink it while its hot LOL
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andromedasummer · 7 months
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yesterday was. a lot
#was sick on saturday right. slept from 4pm to 10am the next day#had a convo with my sister that turned south#and because of the weather being awful my SAD combined with that and sente into a depressive episode#had a breakdown over my relationship with my family and their (not. great acceptance/treatment of my autism)#cried for hours until my mum and dad sat down to have a talk#i vented stuff i have wanted to say for like. 2 years now. both understood and talked to my siblings about it#brothet completely understood#think my sister kinda understands#which is better than i expected because i was fully prepared for her to just. not give a fuck because i have trouble communicating with her#and now i feel kind of better?#i did. purge a fuckton of motorsport stuff from my blog because it was related to the conversation we had#but was one of many many many things that compiled into a very uncomfortable atmosphere for me in house#my mum is gonna try harder not to use the r slur which is a relief. my sister has agreed not to make fun of me when i do hear it#and become upset about it. they understand why i am upset about specific people they support and talk about in front of me#and i made sure to let them know i understand that they have diff opinions on people who have said hurtful things about disabled people#because they none of them will ever come from a place where those words hurt them#but still let them know how that affects my.... i dont wanna say trust? like my comfort in being autistic vs masking with them#which ive often been forced into doing and am still unlearning#most importantly theyve now accepted that i am autistic#that my diagnosis was not officially completed/given because the doctor advised against it. because it makes things way harder#really im just happy that i wont get comments from my sister about not actually being what i claim i am/have because they.#really upset me esp when these things that i am (autistic+adhd) and have (ocd/anxiety/depression) are linked but have been confirmed#multiple times by multiple doctors#idk i just hope things get easier from here. i can tell my family werent aware of how much this stuff was affecting me so im glad we talked#because keeping that inside was. exhausting
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