#my friend is in a few of these

[mezgamescenery]

Black Garden - Unfinished Business - Destiny 2

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

[oars]

[forestofsprites]

i'm such a friend lover. i genuinely believe that my friends are the coolest funniest loveliest most ridiculously joyous people out there! im biased as hell!! i think theyre all rad! and the universe just so happened to slip all these beloved people into my orbit! and vice versa!! wtf!

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[shkspr]

time for my oddly specific dni that is a joke and not real. ofc tag how many apply to you. dni if you:

like ranch dressing

think you “Get” the movie inception

are an only child

were/are into supernatural AND sherlock but NOT doctor who

were born after st patricks day 2002

dont like fruit or vegetables

took german in high school

have happily married parents

have a strong preference for the xbox over other consoles

have a name that was one of the top 100 in your country the year you were born

have or want more than two dogs

are a libra

are against writing/highlighting in books (like morally against it, even other people doing it in books that arent yours and have nothing to do with you)

have never worked customer service

like thunderstorms

are a man who works in tech

dont remember your dreams

dont have a favorite color

regularly wear jeans to bed

look good in hats

[acertainmoshke]

I've been having a tough time lately, and when I don't have the energy for everything keeping up with social media is one of the first things I slip on. But I still care about all my writing buddies, so:

Reblog if you're not offended when people take a long time to answer asks, forget to reply to your replies, lag behind in tag games, or skip several weekly ask games.

[shu-bullshit]

The Beautiful Necktie

One day, a sad man walked into a clothing store.

Process under the cut

Sometimes when I watch the time lapse I don't know how I made it through the ugly stages.

This one was pretty fast tho, perhaps 3 hrs last night and 3 hrs tonight.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[owlpellet]

doctors are so fucking funny; if you go in like "based on my extensive research and corroborations i think i have this Disease" they will immediately go on the defensive and ask you demeaning shit like "how do you even know this Disease exists?" but if you go in and play stupid and say "gee whiz i'm just a silly little bimbo who doesn't know a thing but i have symptom, symptom, symptom, and symptom" they will very eagerly be like "oh wow, that sounds like Disease!"

[polararts]

He won an award. Good job you little snot. /affectionate

[pants-lint]

Just had a Thought and now I'm curious. What's you guy's strangest comfort media? It doesn't have to be strange as in like creepy/fucked up/whatever, it can just be smthn a lil odd.

[jamiethebeeart]

Lineart by @ovytia-art which was such a blast to color - I love the entire vibe of all of them hanging out together so much @green-with-envy-phandom-event

[maplebars]

cherished moments

[ionomycin]

My favorite pieces this year