#my life is going pretty horrible right now and I'd like to do something | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

archangeldyke-all · 5 months

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Something with like cellmate prisoner!sevika?! 😭😭😭 idk I just think like her being all dangerous and powerful, having a shit ton of friends but like selectively, no one messing with her maybe even hating how just mean she is. And then comes in reader and yk. I’d love if the story was smutty but u can chose ofc 🫦

i love this so much

men and minors dni

living in zaun is shit. but the one thing that's always kept you and a majority of your fellow citizens in line, was the ever-looming presence of stillwater prison just a few miles away. you've watched countless people enter those prison walls. you know very few who ever came back out.

and now, through a series of unfortunate events that lead to you assaulting an undercover enforcer, you're going to find out first hand just how horrible stillwater really is.

you don't think you've ever been so nervous in your life as the enforcer guides you-- restrained and already hating the itchy fabric of your new life-long uniform--down a long, long hall of cells.

he's chewing a wad of bubblegum, casually, like you aren't about to piss yourself with nerves. "listen kid." he says, looking you up and down. "i read your file. seems like you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time." he says, shrugging. "no prior arrests, clean record-- honestly i'm surprised they sent you here, but i guess you did break marcus' nose." the enforcer chuckles here.

"you know that asshole?" you ask. the man guiding you snorts.

"'s my boss." he mumbles. beside you, a prisoner lunges at the bars of their cell, screaming at you. you jump, and the guard laughs. "as i was sayin'-- you seem like a real peach. like you'd be a good influence on some of our... rougher prisoners." he mumbles.

dread starts to curl in your stomach. you have a pretty good idea of where this conversation is headed, and you don't like the outcome. you just hope you aren't cellmates with someone real bad: like genie the counter-fitter who got caught two years ago; esmee the weapons expert who successfully set an entire square block of piltover's wealthiest neighborhood ablaze; or, god forbid, sevika.

she'd been caught just weeks ago, smuggling an entire airship's worth of shimmer into piltover's loading docks. it was big fucking news.

sevika's a big fucking deal.

and you want absolutely nothing to do with her.

which is why, of course, the guard pulls you to a stop right outside of the only cell with a light on, the low, dim glow of a reading lamp and the quick flickering light of a lighter. you feel like you're gonna barf.

sitting in the shadows of the cell, puffing on a hand-rolled cigarette, sits sevika, silco's second in command.

if he's the eye of zaun, she's the arm. he might be watching-- but she's doing. she's nothing but bad news; everything you've tried your best to avoid while living in the undercity.

well, look how well that turned out for you.

"sevika, meet your new cellmate." the enforcer calls out. a pair of silver eyes snap up from her book and lock on yours. you shiver.

"fucks' wrong with her?" she mumbles. you gulp.

"nervous, i'd assume. 's her first-offense." the guard says. he shoves you into the cell and you jump as the bars slam shut behind you. "you ladies have fun." he says, before turning and walking away, the smacks of his gum echoing behind him.

sevika inspects you from her chair.

"how'd you fuck up so bad you ended up in a cell with me from your first offense?" she asks, seemingly intrigued.

"punched an undercover enforcer." you whisper. sevika's eyebrow hitches up, a little amused.

"yeah?"

"think his name was marcus, or something." you mumble. she sputters.

"ha! really!?" she asks, a little smile growing on her face. you nod. she takes a drag off her cigarette, then points at the bunk beds. "i get bottom. don't go thinkin' 'cause we're cellmates it means you get to touch my shit. i got people outside pullin' big favors for met to get shit like this." she gestures to her cigarettes and lamp. you nod. "don't look so nervous. i won't bite unless you piss me off."

you try to stop shivering. you don't succeed. "s-sorry."

she studies you for a moment, her smile growing as she does. though she's no longer armed with shimmer, her arm's still in perfect working condition, five little daggers gently tapping on the table top as her eyes dart across you. "you from the lanes?" she asks. you nod. she snorts. "you know who i am?" she asks. you nod again. she chuckles, then stands. she approaches you, circling around you like you're prey, then chuckling and leaning back against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. "you scared'a me?" she asks.

"shouldn't i be?" you choke out.

it seems to be the right answer. sevika laughs, then sits back down at her table, picking her book back up, chuckling intermittently for minutes after.

she's not a bad roommate. she's surprisingly tidy, always quiet, her nose usually buried in a book. she smokes like a fucking chimney, and you've come to find she gets her tobacco-- and sometimes a bit of weed-- from one of the guards every tuesday night.

she's got special privileges among most of the guards. they're always sneaking her books and flasks, letting her get away without cell-searches, letting her read past lights out and have lighters and screwdrivers and other dangerous, weapon-like tools.

you, on the other hand, do not have these privileges. and, keeping in line with sevika's one and only rule, you don't touch her shit. all of this means that while sevika smokes and works on her arm and reads and works out, you spend your time just... sitting on the top bunk. watching her.

sometimes, during open cell time, she gets visitors. you're surprised that none of these visits end in shady dealings-- sevika doesn't seem to need to trade her stash of goods for anything. most of her visits are quick, and most end the same way: a small scrap of paper being shoved in sevika's hand.

she burns the scraps after she reads whatever's on them.

she's... pleasant, sometimes. it's rare, but it happens. one day, you'd forgotten to make your bed before you went to breakfast. you returned to find it neatly made, and when you thanked her for helping you avoid trouble with the guards, she had just waved it off. "don' get used to it. i won't always be here to fix your mistakes."

once, a fight broke out while you were in the showers. you were sent back to your cell soaking wet-- your hair still lathered in shampoo. she had chuckled, called you a "wet rat", and helped you rinse your hair out in the tiny sink in your cell.

and... she's kinda pretty. it occurred to you one evening while the two of you were partaking in your nightly routine: sevika reading in her chair while you study her, pretending to sleep. she'd glanced up at you and whispered. "why're you always lookin' at me?"

you shrugged, then nearly choked on your tongue when 'you're pretty' almost slipped out of your mouth. "uh... i got nothing else to look at." you'd ended up saying. she seemed to accept this.

"you don't have any prison girlfriends?" you ask. sevika's in a particularly jovial mood today: the note she'd been delivered earlier in the afternoon must've had great news. she's decided to share her joint with you. the question slipped out the second you took your first puff-- your tolerance astronomically low from being without for so long.

sevika laughs. "nah."

"but..." you cut yourself off before you get yourself in trouble, biting your lip. sevika chuckles, then nudges your leg.

"y' can say it." she says. you smile at her, then speak.

"it's just... i had a few friends who work at babette's." you say. "i figured you'd have as much of a reputation here as you do there."

she takes a second, tilting her neck side to side as it cracks, then sighing. "i got shit to do in here." she says simply. you raise an eyebrow at her, biting your lip again, and she chuckles. "say it." she demands again.

"you just read all day." you laugh. sevika nods.

"i'm... working." she says. you just nod along, pretending you understand what she's alluding to.

it happens in the strangest way but you and sevika start to become... friends.

she sits alone at lunch, and you sit alone too, on the oppisite side of the cafeteria. but you're so used to looking at sevika, that you find yourself watching her even when there are much more entertaining things to look at, like the handful of fights that break out every meal.

you notice she loves the jello cups you guys get once a week. so you pocket yours and toss it at her later that night. the way she smiles lights up the room even brighter than her tiny lamp. you make it a habit.

she starts loaning you her books, finds you a crate to sit on by her table while you guys read together at night.

and when sevika gets jumped in the middle of the night-- you don't even question it before you jump out of your bunk, grab sevika's screwdriver where she left it on the table, and start swinging in the dark, blindly.

"what the fuck?" someone squawks when you manage to stab something in the dark.

"what?" sevika whispers in the dark.

"sevika, your bunkmate fucking stabbed me!" her attacker's voice rings out.

a light flicks on. you cringe at the sudden brightness, then blink in confusion as sevika and a guard with a screwdriver sticking out of their shoulder stare at you.

sevika's grinning. the guard is scowling. you hold your hands up in shaky fists, preparing for a fight. sevika chuckles.

"relax, sweetheart." she says, swinging her arm around you and tugging you into her side. "ran's a friend." she whispers into your ear. you blink at the bleeding guard, then back at sevika.

"so, what, we're taking your girlfriend with us now?" the guard-- ran-- asks. sevika looks at her friend, then looks at you, a calculating look in her eye. she smirks, shrugs, then looks back at the guard.

"she threw herself between me and a uniform-- can't just throw that kinda loyalty out, now can i?" she asks, smiling.

you don't know what's happening. you're about to ask-- when suddenly you black out.

the first thing that comes back to you is your sense of hearing.

voices.

"sevika, fuck, you can't just throw a wrench in the plan like this--"

"i can do whatever the fuck i want--"

"on the night of the breakout?! no heads up!?"

"do i need to remind you which one of us is second in command, here?!"

"...fuck. c'mon, help me load her in the van."

the next thing is your sense of touch. you're laying on the rumbling cold steel of a van floor-- currently in motion.

you're shivering, but then something warm and wool and smelling like cigars is draped over you.

you're head keeps bumping uncomfortably with every crack in the road. someone gently picks your head up and puts it in their warm nap, a hand coming down to scratch your scalp.

your voice comes next. "mmmh?"

"it's okay." sevika's voice comes. you groan, cracking your eyes open, only for her face to be grinning down at you. "fuckin' maniac." she giggles.

"wha?" you groan. you're seeing double, your head is pounding.

"ran knocked you out. 's what you get for stabbin' 'em." sevika chuckles. "but, you're lucky, 'cause they don't hold a grudge. they helped me lug your ass outta stillwater."

"wha?!" you ask again, snapping up. sevika laughs as you look out the front window of the van-- the depths of piltover surrounding you as you head, presumebly, to the last drop.

you recognize the man driving-- a tall, muscular, tattooed man who'd recently been added to your cell block's guard rotation. in the passengers' seat sits the guard you'd stabbed-- bandaged and watching you with amusement.

"wha's happenin'?" you mumble, looking back at your cellmate as you clutch a hand to your throbbing head. you've been shrouded in a red cloak-- sevika's already out of her prison uniform and back in her 'second in command' look. she smirks at you.

"y' really think i was jus' sittin' around, servin' my time?" she asks. you shrug.

"figured somethin' was goin' on. y' kept gettin' those notes. didn't wanna ask." you groan. sevika chuckles.

"well, you shoulda. or i shoulda warned you, so you didn't try killing my crew." she chuckles. you blink over to the person in the passengers' seat, cringing.

"s-sorry." you mumble. they wave it off.

"'s cool. knocked you right the fuck out, didn't i?" they chuckle. "we're even."

you turn back to sevika. "you broke me out of prison?" you ask. she shrugs.

"'re you mad about it?" she asks. you gawk at her.

"uh... just... a little surprised?"

sevika cackles. you smile at the sound, despite your headache. "i wasn't plannin' on it! then you started givin' me your jello, 'n readin' all my books, 'n..."

"she's got a crush on you." ran fills in from the front.

"i didn't say that!" she shouts.

"she's not denying it though--" the man driving teases.

you choke on your spit. sevika huffs, rolls her eyes, and speaks. "i... i kinda got a crush on you, yeah." she mumbles. "and i swear i'm not sayin' this jus' 'cause i think you're cute but: you should really stay with us at the last drop until things calm back down, since, y'know... you're kinda wanted now..." she says, rubbing the back of her neck.

you blink... shocked.

you don't really know what to think. you tried your whole life to stay out of trouble, and it managed to find you anyways in the form of a drunken under-cover enforcer deciding to smack your ass when you'd had too many drinks to hold your punches. you tried to stay out of trouble in stillwater until you were saddled with sevika. you tried to stay out of trouble with her until she dragged you-- literally, you were unconscious!-- out of prison along with her. it seems like trouble's meant for you.

but if there's one thing you're certain of, it's sevika.

you smile at her, then reach up to cup her cheek. she looks more nervous than you've seen her in all your months in stillwater together.

"you gotta crush on me?" you ask. she gulps.

"i'd say it's a little more than a crush seeing she broke you outta stillwater as your first date--"

"ran!" sevika hollers. you chuckle.

"is this our first date?" you ask, raising your eyebrow at her. she shrugs.

"it's... jus' don't expect the next dates to be this exciting." she chuckles, rolling her eyes. you grin, then dart forward and press a kiss to her lips. when you pull away, she's wearing that same nervous look again.

"you okay?" you whisper. she licks her lips, nuzzles a bit against your hand on her face, and nods.

"'m just kickin' myself for not puttin' the moves on you sooner. coulda been fuckin' you to pass the time in prison instead of readin' all those boring books." she mumbles. you burst into laughter, and she grins.

taglist!

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#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika

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haliteatiger · 5 months

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Happy Werewolf Wednesday, ya'll! We're serving up a big pot of tea tonight so get those cups ready!

Special thanks to Blackbackedjackal and King for their help in putting this together, editing, and especially to Jackal for being so supportive and encouraging. I'm very much not normally the type to do call-out posts, but people need to be aware of Dogblud, as she has hurt, not only myself, but quite a few others as well, and seems to have somehow gotten away with behaving like this for 20-odd years. I'm of the mind she shouldn't be allowed to do so any more, hence this post.

TL;DR - Beware of Dogblud, aka Ashryn, aka DogofBlud, aka ThatDogMagic. Very, very long post under the cut.

With everything happening with DogBlud and Blackbackedjackal's studio, I felt emboldened to come forward with my own experiences with her. This is something I've been carrying around since it happened roughly 2 years ago. It was one of the main reasons that put me off drawing werewolves, my own characters, or engaging any more in the fandom. I've hinted at it a few times but I've never had the energy to come forward and deal with the fall out. I wanted to move on with the rest of my life because IRL was more important than online drama. And I knew her behavior would come back to bite her sooner or later, regardless of what I did.

It's been very validating to see that I was right.

It was around the time that Blud and I became friends that I was feeling a bit burnt out on werewolves. I'd been trying to pull together my own werewolf-related project for something close to 12 years. The past 4 years had also been pretty draining on me creatively and socially, as it had for a lot of artists with regards to the pandemic. I also had some IRL things I was dealing with: mainly with my marriage and transitioning between medications to manage my anxiety + bipolar.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the foresight to screenshot everything at the time. I do have logs from back when we roleplayed together. There are several conversations in them but because they were saved as text documents, they're pretty dubious in terms of solid evidence.

It would have been better if I had taken screenshots as it was happening, rather than just saving the logs. With what I *do* have, however, I feel as though it may be enough to make the point that I'm trying to make, and to exhibit how horrible things got.

I'll provide some context.

I had talked with Blud on and off over the years, and we had always gotten along. We had a lot in common and after we had started talking more, our friendship eventually grew into a collaborative project. We were going to combine our stories and write a comic based on it. We had a lot of discussions on how Blud was reticent to do this in the beginning and how she wanted a contract to be made up so that in the event that something *did* happen, we could both walk away feeling like it was handled fairly.

Honestly, I should have listened to the first alarm that went off in my brain, when, in an act of ominous foreboding she said something along the lines of don't be so sure, it could happen. It was in response to me being like "we're getting along so well and share so much of a bond right now. I can't fathom that being a problem!"

The contract never materialized. It was something we had decided to do *after* we had put together something of a prototype project to see how well we worked together. It made complete sense to me at the time as we were both eager to focus on the fun parts of writing and drawing together.

It was decided that I would be the lead artist (doing coloring and final lines) while Blud would do everything else (which was inking, layouts, and the majority of the writing). The both of us felt that she had more experience in those areas. I also believed that she had a better knack for it as well. I had felt that she had a better understanding of story structure than myself. And I thought that Blud had felt the same way about my art. That I had the experience to take point on that.

Since I had collaborated with other artists and writers before, I attempted to approach the project with the same sort of professionalism I always do. Especially the projects that I genuinely thought stood a chance of being published in the future. We had started out trying to get a feel for each other's flows and rhythms. I had expected Blud to try and meet me in the middle of where our processes would potentially differ from one another, so that we could develop a fairly smooth workflow.

I had also expected, according to our discussions on the matter, that we would value each other's opinions on things and take them into consideration. We had such good synchronicity already.

In the beginning, there wasn't any unusual behavior that caught my attention. Blud was a bit uncomfortable with trying out new things but I did my best to accommodate her so that our project could move forward without too much turbulence. She had also mentioned to me before that she was autistic, and since my husband is also autistic, I knew how difficult it could be when it came to adapting to new routines. But when it was time for her to deliver the first set of layouts, it wasn't at all what I expected.

What I had expected was something with margins, clearly marked boxes, and figures that I could do rough lines over. I also expected notes that confirmed what we had discussed earlier about the project; that way I knew what she wanted or if there would be any changes. She took offense to this, feeling like I was violating our agreement. Though Blud did try to give me space with regards to the actual art, and while she would offer criticisms here and there, I trusted her opinion as an artist and as a friend. But apparently that didn't go both ways. In fact, Blud seemed to be offended that I expected more from her.

Blud agreed to concede. She suddenly seemed fine with the changes that I had asked for after seeing the layouts. I guess she was feeling overstimulated by the change and I might have been applying too much of a critical tone to her responses to begin with. I have had to deal with rejection sensitivity throughout my life and it's certainly prompted me to approach what people say to me online with a bit of scrutiny (sometimes too much).

And while I was mildly annoyed, although admittedly I was more concerned with Blud's overall reaction to my asking for clarification about several things in the layouts, I let it go. But it seemed like there was a problem. The majority of my ideas were either rejected or outright overridden with Blud convincing me that my faulty memory had made me unable to remember what we had agreed upon. Or that I might have been misremembering in my own favor.

There was one time where we were discussing a monster's design. Blud had already decided to settle on one design that she had come up with, even as I continued to offer other suggestions. The story was to take place in my setting, so I was under the impression that I got to decide what kind of creatures should populate it. The conversation ended somewhat ambiguously. I had assumed that we'd come to a solid conclusion later.

I came back the next day and it turned out that we were using her design because that was what we had decided on. "Don't you remember? You really need to do something about that faulty memory of yours, Tek. I can't be doing this for you all the time."

At which point, Blud would go back and meticulously scour the conversation until she managed to find a set of lines that would make it seem as though I had 100% agreed. Even when I tried to explain that I had meant something else, she took it as an affront on her inability to understand nuances due to her autism.

I admit that my memory isn't that greatest at times, but I've never had anyone complain about it before. And none of my friends have ever minded providing reminders to me if I did misremember something incorrectly. We all forget stuff at times, right? It's *still* something that I'm self-conscious about because (like a lot of people with ADHD) my memory seems selective at times. This was, apparently, a problem that I needed to manage.

And even as I'm remembering these incidents to the best of my ability, I've already spent so much time recounting all of this to friends. I feel confident in my recollection. There are some details that may overlap or become entwined with other things, but it all basically tells the same story. Especially in conjunction with what's been said by others. You're free to take it as hearsay since I do not have screenshots to back this up.

I will mention (since I've been told it's something that Blud has taken particular interest in) that at one point, I did have a crush on her. I was having some problems IRL, and it was nice to have someone whom I felt actually understood me. I also felt like I saw a lot of myself in her. I think that, at one point, I did describe her as the kind of "girlfriend" I would want. Blud seemed to indicate the feeling was mutual.

Between our collaborative partnership and all of the details we shared about our lives, it did feel like an intimate relationship at times. I had no intentions of pursuing it. We were not compatible in our romantic and sexual identities, and I had no intention of leaving my current partner for her.

I had begun to notice red flags, even if I wasn't ready to accept them yet.

I've had experience with abusive relationships in the past but they were in person, and not online. I knew what to look out for and yet I was being willfully ignorant about our friendship. I wanted to give Blud the benefit of the doubt. I wanted the project to work *so* badly that I was willing to work with her increasing demands as the months went by.

I had no idea that those demands would change into, quite literal, temper tantrums. It would then trigger my fawning response which was due to an abusive family situation that I had dealt with before I moved to Canada. The tactic was this: concede to someone until there was a time that they either understood reason or I had the chance to use it against them if necessary.

I started to take screenshots. I wish that I had taken a lot more of them so that everyone could get a better idea of what was happening. I did go back and manage to record the majority of the first outburst. It was the first inkling I had that Blud wasn't playing with a full deck of cards. I knew that that would be one of the first conversations that she would promptly delete. And consequently, I was right.

This assortment of screenshots will exhibit the first serious confrontation that Blud had with me. I am absolutely *not* proud of how I handled this. I was literally panicking at the time and doing whatever I could to get her to calm down. Because I have a temper that can look similar to this in person, I knew that I had to wait until the post-tantrum clarity would hit Blud. I tried my best to not lose my own temper in turn but looking back, I feel that I came off as sounding too timid.

I didn't want to ruin this project.

I wanted to make a comic with an individual that I admired and respected as a fellow artist. And, with me not knowing how to respond, my main priority was to not make things any worse than they already were.

Below is the conversation in its entirety:

I had taken this screenshot on my phone after I had stepped away to compose myself. Blud had handled the confrontation and criticism with a reasonable amount of apprehension. But what had not occurred to me was that I could have said something that would remind her of past experiences with a roleplaying group.

It was something that had evidently scarred Blud for life.

I took away the wrong things from what she had told me, choosing to focus on the aspects of the "betrayal" that had appeared to bother her the most. And in hindsight, I did not see the correlation. I was genuinely apologetic that I had hurt her feelings.

But I *will* critique Blud for her poor handling of the situation. Whether or not I had hurt her feelings, no one is entitled to act like this or claim that this is what attempting to resolve a problem should look like.

I wasn't sure on how to initially respond to Blud. It had been ages since I'd had to deal with someone flying off the handle like that.

The following screenshots are where the conversation picked up, after she had already deleted the above message:

We had weathered the "storm" and after Blud calmed down, she was ready to communicate. There was a part of me that was genuinely sincere when I apologized to her. I did mean it when I said that I had no intentions of hurting her and that I hadn't considered how my statement would sound to her.

I had hoped that this had been a stress response due to factors outside of our collaboration. And especially when I took into account how she had interacted with me in the past. I knew that Blud had a lot going on IRL, and that she had already put a considerable amount of energy into this project.

I had taken her meltdown more personally than she could perceive that I would, because this was something that was acceptable to her. She had a "condition" that would absolve her of these abhorrent meltdowns and I needed to get used to them if we were going to continue working on that project together.

I was shaking the entire time we were typing in the chat.

I was sincere in my responses. I really did want to work things out with Blud and give her the benefit of the doubt. I could have been taking the things that she said too personally or maybe I had been reading too much into the situation. Was there a chance that I could have been misreading her outburst? I tried my best to keep an open mind though I was still somewhat baffled by the fact that she would have meltdowns as often as she did.

I confided in my husband and some other friends about the situation. They were also bewildered by Blud's actions.

By this point, I was struggling with the reality that this collaboration was most likely *not* going to work out but I still wanted to try. I still cared about Blud. We would still hang out together and talk about things like music, our characters, or our stories.

While I did have the foresight to go back and screenshot this section, I wasn't fast enough to get screenshots of everything else that I will be going over. Blud *did* admit to going back and deleting certain exchanges due to a mixture of shame; not wanting to look at them when she would scroll through our conversations.

In retrospect, it was very telling.

And even after that meltdown, I still enjoyed the friendship that I had with her. I kept my guard up but I was willing to make compromises on her behalf if it resulted in better communication between the two of us. Blud made me promise to immediately tell her if I had a problem with something. I also agreed to keep notes of our conversations.

It worked for the most part.

In the end though, it became apparent that Blud wasn't willing to do the same for me (even after we had an extended conversation about it). I then realized that I had been tasked with basically *managing* her autism for her. I was already busy with my supposedly "bad memory" at the time; and Blud was more than ready to scroll back up through our conversations to cherry-pick a line or two of text to remind me of what was said earlier.

Because, for her, circumstances couldn't ever change. If they did, it would mean that Blud had lost control of the situation and that she was in the wrong. She could *not* be in the wrong.

And if she was in the wrong? It would take solid evidence, three witnesses, and a court of law to prove it.

She had two other major meltdowns after this. I managed to step away from communicating with her through one of them and I don't remember the other meltdown lasting very long. She immediately deleted the texts of both of those instances before I could take screenshots of them.

It seemed like I could do nothing right when it came to Blud, no matter the lengths I would go to accommodate her. I knew that it was a common tactic used by abusers. I finally accepted that our partnership wasn't going to work out and I began thinking about an exit strategy. The final straw was when she began to expect me to be at her beck and call.

I had promised that I would be there for her, within reason, and I was willing to offer reassurances whenever she would ask me for them. The promise had been made back when we had first started to talk to one another with more frequency, before Blud had shown me her true colors. I would end up completely underestimating just how badly she would need reassurance.

To be frank, I underestimated a lot about Blud in the beginning.

I would end up mentioning that I enjoyed my space in several different conversations with her. That there was a chance that I might be offline for several days so I could take care of things IRL and recharge my social batteries. I'm somewhat of a recluse. And an adult who enjoys things that aren't online.

She said that it was fine.

I became incredibly anxious when I would talk to Blud, especially after her somewhat abrupt change in personality.

I then attempted to put my foot down about boundaries and this is what she had to say:

I decided to walk away for a bit and I came back after I had had some time to think things over. This wasn't healthy for either of us. I wrote a couple of sentences to say goodbye to Blud before I blocked her. I knew that my actions would probably infuriate her. She had told me in the past that she *hated* not being able to have the final word... which she was able to do through email:

“And I'm not letting you pretend you have control over the situation, or the high ground. You distinctly have neither. But since you're determined to stick to your 'principles' on this, I've decided to make it easier for you.”

She thought that she was absolved of all sins just because I had said that I would stand by her at her worst. And at the time that I said that, I had no idea that her worst would be her trying everything possible to protect her boundaries while stomping all over mine. It didn't matter what she said or how often she would apologize when I would confront her. She kept doing it.

I admit that I wasn't perfect in this situation either.

There were times when I was condescending, critical, or downright mean when I talked to Blud because that was the way I had felt when she was talking to me. I soon realized that it didn't matter either way. I could have been using the friendliest tone imaginable and she still would have perceived it as either mocking or dismissive on my end. There were even a few times where I would preface my explanations with an advisory “please know that I am not attacking you and try to read this in an understanding tone,”etc. I would then post an explanation I had spent hours picking at to ensure that there was no way she could misinterpret the intent. Even so, she still read the majority of what I said as criticism and would take it to heart.

I never expected Blud to do something that made her uncomfortable; nor did I expect her to overextend herself when it came to our project. I would go out of my way to make sure everything was fine when we would talk about it. I only expected mutual respect in return.

When we would get into discussions (arguments), she would never attempt to understand my point of view or let me explain myself. It would have made it about me when it should have been about Blud and her needs. She sometimes would agree to come to a compromise about something, but only if I would admit that I was in the wrong.

I know that if Blud was to look at these screenshots, she'd be incredulous that I'm trying to distract from the horrible things that *I* did. And those horrible things that I did? I tried my best to work with her.

It wasn't just her poor teamwork that bothered me. It was her attitude and the lack of respect that she showed me. She would never ask me to clarify something that I said; always assuming that it was a criticism against her. I can only speculate that Blud did not want to hear about how any of this was her fault, like in the email she sent me.

I don't know if I was actually her friend at any point. Friends make efforts to understand one another. Ideally, they’d want their friendships to continue, and they would want everyone to be getting along and having fun. She seemed to actively defy that.

I would argue that things like this don't just happen in a vacuum. There's almost always a reason for such things, but it's honestly a mystery to me as to where this vitriol comes from. I don't know why Blud sees monsters in every word, especially if they come from a "friend".

I've seen her viscously mock herself during meltdowns; it seems like she hates herself and expects everyone else to hate her too. I think that she wants it to be the truth, so that it validates the feelings she has about herself. The behavior patterns that I'd been exposed to are consistent with the idea that Blud is seeking confirmation about the personal assumptions she has about herself. It's what makes her so volatile to those around her. Yet, she refuses to break the cycle.

I hope that she can make that choice in the future but at this point, I'm not holding my breath.

#dogblud #it feels a bit dirty doing a call out post #but people need to know #she's gotten away with this for far too long #i generally tend to give people the benefit of a doubt #clearly too much #but you can only make up so many excuses before you begin to realize that #at the end of the day #people still have the ability to make a choice #“everyone always leaves me”#well maybe you should really consider what the common variable is #just sayin

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 8 months

Note

This is a pretty serious topic, so feel free to not answer if you don't want to.

How would the Sdv and Sve bachelor/ette's react to the Farmer (who's their partner) flinching when they moved suddenly? As in, the farmer subconsciously thought their partner was about to hit them

Oof...

Pretty dark topic, but I want pain and glass so why not 🥲 Thanks so much for the question, dear anon 💕

⚠️Warning: angst, mention of past abusive relationship/physical abuse, mention of domestic violence, swearing, and a lot of hurt/comfort

_________________________________________

Stardew Valley:

SDV bachelors:

Shane had never had such a desire to break someone's nose. To punch with all his might, to break a jaw, to knock out teeth, to make the bastard who dared to raise a hand against Farmer regret their cowardice and wish they'd never been born. Too bad they're somewhere far away... No, it's not a pity, let this fucking asshole die in their hellhole. What's important right now that Farmer's here, and Shane's gonna be right there with them. He's gonna suggest that Farmer go to therapy. It really helps, Shane's realized that himself. And he'll be there for Farmer, he'll never leave them. And would never hit them.

Alex knows all too well why Farmer flinched like that, and his heart filled with rage. The same way his mom clutched herself, hiding her face from the heavy hand of her alcoholic husband... The very thought that his dearest Farmer, the love of his life, had thought he would hit them, that Alex would be like his father, made him shiver with unbridled hatred for whoever had made Farmer feel that way. But the athlete will calm himself down, and do whatever it takes to help and protect Farmer. He would never, ever hit them. Never.

Sam has a look of utter confusion on his face. "Babe, what's wrong?" The young guitarist was just chasing flies, and now doesn't understand why Farmer hid their face in their hands. Is something wrong? Why do they look like they're crying? When Farmer tells him the reason (which they were previously afraid to tell), Sammy's heart just cracks to pieces. He will put his arms around Farmer and slowly rock them. If they are comfortable, Sam will listen to them carefully and try to cheer them up, showering them with kisses and affectionate words.

Elliott would simply become speechless. "My love, you didn't think I'd..." He can't even get the words out. He knows that Farmer's relatives treated them horribly, his partner have told the writer about it. He knows that recovering from such trauma will not be easy or quick. Elliott won't leave them alone with the trouble. But did they really thought that Elliott would allow himself to fall so low and raise his hand against them? The writer's in tears. It hurts him, but Elliott is in no way angry with Farmer. No, he loves them with all his heart.

Sebastian would never forget the moment in his childhood when his biological father was ready to slap him. Luckily, Robin managed to catch the man's arm before that, and Sebby never saw his bio father again. As he grew older, Sebastian realized exactly what that man had intended to do. He was disgusted to even think of doing that to anyone, much less the person he loves and adore endlessly. He would take the Farmer's hands, look them in the eye, and tell them that he loved them and would never, under any circumstances, raise a hand against them.

Harvey will put Farmer in a hug, but the doctor still won't be able to hold back the tears. Harvey knows that Farmer has only recently, on the advice of their beloved husband, sought professional help, that progress won't be immediate, and that it takes a very long, long time to work at it. But for Harvey, every time Farmer flinches at their husband's sudden movement is like the first time - shock, confusion, sadness, pain. And even worse when the Farmers began to blame themselves for this behavior. No, Farmer, it's not your fault. Harvey won't let their partner think it's their fault.

_________________________________________

SDV bachelorettes:

Abigail is hella confused.... Why are they flinched? Wha- What do they mean!? She loves Farmer, how did they even think of that?! Abby got angry, but would quickly cool down and start apologizing to an even more frightened Farmer. She didn't mean to yell at them like that, but the image that her partner thought she would take a swing at them just threw her off. Ugh, if those creeps who had hurt Farmer came to the Valley, then the amethyst lover would pelt them with such stink bombs that even the skunks would turn their noses away from them. Hehehe, good thing that made Farmer laugh. Right, fuck those bastards.

Leah can't believe her ears. Farmer, she is holding an axe! How could they think that their wife would dare swing at them with a sharp axe?! The fact that someone actually tried to swing something like that at Farmer made the blood in the artist's veins boil. She wasn't angry at Farmer, naturally, but at the bastard who'd treated Farmer like that. And don't let her partner worry: if their ex abuser dared to come in the Stardew Valley, Leah would definitely use her axe... Okay, maybe not so radical, but this person won't lay a finger on her precious partner. She'll defend them to the last, that's for sure.

Penny is a very peaceful, fragile and gentle girl. How can anyone imagine that she is capable of such a thing - to hit Farmer, love of her life? For a young teacher, family is sacred! Her spouse, her children, it's... She will never agree with the people who justify violence and abuse with "discipline" or "tough love". For in Penny's mind, someone who can easily hurt a loved one is not worthy of those loved ones. The red-haired girl bursts into tears. She cannot calmly see how Farmer is scared and hurt because of their ex. But she will find the way to help them. Together, they will overcome it.

Maru was upset at first, because she thought that the Farmer was afraid of her next invention (she could not forget the humiliating incident when they were electrocuted). Only after a couple of seconds Maru realized that they looked with fear not at her device lying on the table, but at herself. She doesn't understand what's wrong. It's not like she has any super dangerous wires or parts with her, see? What? The Farmer thought Maru was going to... hit them? She loves them! Never, you heard her, Farmer, she would never....

Emily is a person who values life and the comfort of every creature. Happiness and positive emotions for everyone around her, especially for her close people and friends. Because of this, the very thought of Farmer hiding their face from what they thought was a punch made the blue-haired girl upset. Farmer had told her about their... not-so-good relatives, who left her lover with this trauma. Emily tries her best to make the house as comfortable as possible for Farmer, and they know it and will always be grateful to their loving wife.

Haley had had partners in the past who, as she found out later, lived by the principle of "beats means love". She wouldn't let those pieces of shit around her anymore, and made a promise to herself never to get involved with such people and never to fall to their level. And Farmer flinched so much at Haley's sudden movement made her remember her exes. She is furious. But right now, the most important thing to her was her beloved Farmer. Haley apologizes for the sudden move, shares her experience and wisdom on how she handled the abuse earlier, and assures Farmer that she will never do to them what Haley's exes tried to do to her.

_________________________________________

Stardew Valley Expanded:

SVE bachelors:

Lance had many swordsmanship and magic teachers in his youth. Almost all of them were excellent and taught him many things that helped him in life. There were some that set impossible conditions for Lance, and when he failed, took up their tools to punishment... Lance had the guts to stand up to it, and there were also people who stood up for him. Farmer didn't have anyone to help then, and Lance won't let that happen again. He genuinely loves Farmer and he wouldn't dare let himself fall so low. They vowed to each other to share both joy and sorrow together. Lance will always love them.

Magnus faced various conflicts when he was married for the first time. Misunderstandings, quarrels, arguments - it's quite natural for a couple. But the wizard would never, ever raise a hand against his partner, and he would despise anyone who justified violence and abuse of authority. He would immediately calm the shuddering Farmer and begin to comfort them. If those pathetic excuse of humans showed up at their farm, Magnus would disintegrate them with a snap of his fingers. Ministry rules? There's a one rule in the Mage Law that allows the use of magic for self-defence and the protection of loved ones. So let the Farmer not worry about this.

Victor, overwhelmed with the good news about his bridge-building practice, raised both arms to hug Farmer, but immediately pulled back when he saw how much they flinched. "Honey, did I do something wrong?" "You didn't... You're not going to hit me, are you?" "What?...." If anyone heard the sound of cracking glass, know this - Victor's heart had shattered into a thousand shards. The spaghetti lover was confused for a few moments, but pulled himself together and cautiously approached the Farmer. Victor hugged them tightly, allowing his partner to snuggle into his shoulder and cry while Victor listened to them, slowly rocking and covering them with kisses.

_________________________________________

SVE bachelorettes:

Olivia is not mad at Farmer in any way. And quickly put a stop to all their attempts to make themselves look guilty for being so flummoxed by the sudden movement of Olivia's hand. Her partner has been victimized in the past by the simply disgusting treatment from the scum who dared to reach out their paws to Farmer has spurred Olivia to pull up all her connections in the city. She knows their names and all the information she needs to turn their lives into a nightmare. In the meantime, Olivia herself will devote all her attention to her precious Farmer and family.

Claire could not have imagined that her desire to show her partner a new ballet movement she had learnt would end like... this: Farmer shivers slightly and looks at the red-haired girl with a share of fear, while Claire stands still, motionless as if struck by lightning. The former Jojarmart cashier slowly and carefully walks over to Farmer and asks permission to hug them. The Farmer agreed, of course, and before launching into an endless stream of words about how it was their own fault, Claire only reassured them and continued to hug them. She was now too shocked that the Farmer had thought Claire would dare to injure them....

Sophia was completely unaware of what had just happened: the pink-haired girl raised her hand for her partner to high-five, but instead they covered their heads with their hands as if expecting a punch. Had she done something wrong? What, did the farmer really expect a punch? She... She... If Sophia tried to say anything, Farmer wouldn't understand anything anyway - the flood of tears on Sophia's face and the lump in her throat from crying interrupted all words. She would hug the Farmer, hold onto them like a lifeline and sob. She would say through her sobs that she loved them very much and would never be a monster like those who had hurt Farmer.

_________________________________________

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anonymous-dentist · 6 months

Text

Or: Once upon a time, a man turned himself into a demon for the sake of his husband's soul. It's been a long time since then.

Demons don't really need to sleep, but Roier likes to do it, anyway. It's relaxing, and it reminds him of better times back when he was human and his husband wasn't... well.

Well.

Jaiden doesn't get it, but that's because she's never known what dreams are. Because demons don't sleep and, unlike Roier, she was born a demon. Her and Bobby both were, leaving Roier as the odd one out.

...That's fine! Their loss! Because sleep? Great. Dreams? Even better.

Because, in Roier's dreams, he sees him.

(They're in bed, because that was Roier's favorite place to be. He's on his back with his husband laying next to him tracing patterns into his shirt with one finger. Rain patters on the ceiling, and some leaks through into the kitchen and lands in a pot placed conspicuously in the middle of the floor. Their blankets are warm, and so are their hearts.)

Roier has been married for almost 500 years. His husband has been dead for 499 of those years, give or take a few months.

They were never legally married; that just wasn't something you did back then. Didn't matter, though, because they wouldn't have been able to afford a wedding even if they could get married.

They were farmers- well, Roier was a farmer. His husband just liked sitting and watching Roier work shirtless in the fields. He'd sit with a pitcher of water waiting by his side should Roier need it, and he'd watch shamelessly for hours at a time, and he was horrible.

And now he's dead.

But, see, the first thing Roier asked when arriving in Hell was whether or not the Devil was cool with gay marriage.

"Uh," said Jaiden- and this was their first real conversation post-demoning, okay? So she obviously wasn't as cool as she is now. "Maybe? I don't know. I'd have to ask?"

"Could you?" Roier had asked, freshly deceased and still bleeding from the temples where his horns had just finished growing in. "I'm expecting my husband."

"Right," Jaiden tensely replied. "Your husband."

"Yeah," Roier said, and he tried saying his husband's name, but it just. Wouldn't... what was it again?

But that's fine, being a demon is a pretty sweet gig. All Roier has to do is go up to the Mortal Realm and do a few jobs for a few witches, corrupt a few souls. In return, he gets badass magical abilities and immortality.

More importantly, he gets his husband's soul. As soon as he reincarnates back in the Mortal Realm, and as soon as he dies again, he goes to Hell with all of the memories from his previous life with Roier intact, and they finally get their happily ever after.

It's what he would've wanted. Hell might sound terrible, but it's no worse than the Mortal Realm, and its public transportation is actually better, somehow. The busses all run on time, and the subway is free.

More importantly, Roier's husband was the one collecting all those books on summoning demons and making deals with demons and communing with the Devil. Roier just... completed his work for him.

It's the least he could've done, and it was his last chance at seeing him again.

Fuck, but what was his name?

(They're in the fields, because that was Roier's husband's favorite place to be. Roier is shirtless and bent over a row of seeds that are going to grow up to be corn in a few months, and his husband is on the ground under the apple tree watching him shamelessly. It's sunny out, and there's the smell of smoke in the air.)

It's been 500 years since Roier's husband died, and Roier has spent that time trying to remember the name of his husband's killer.

Because, once upon a time, there was a farmer, and there was a witch. Ah, but witches were illegal, you see. They communed with the Devil, and they brought chaos into a world of order.

All Roier remembers is that the person who tied his husband to that pole was in all-white. Not a priest, just someone boring.

That same person was the one who lit the straw at Roier's husband's feet on fire. And they smiled doing so even as Roier dove towards the flames as if he could put them out with his bare hands.

It didn't work. Big surprise there.

"So the Devil's fine with you two getting married," Jaiden said after a few days of dealing with demonic bureaucracy, "but I have some bad news for you."

Roier, for the first time since Jaiden slit his throat and converted him, felt fear.

"What is it?" he asked.

She let out a breath, slow, and said, eventually, "Your husband's soul isn't here. He isn't in Heaven, either. Or in any of the other gods' realms."

Roier blinked. "What."

It was not a question.

She threw up her hands. "I don't know! It's like he just... disappeared!"

"Is that why I can't remember his name?" Roier asked. "His soul is fucking gone?"

His hands shook. Jaiden reached out and took them.

"We'll find him," she promised, kind despite her whole 'Is A Demon' thing. "Even if it takes five hundred years."

"Yeah, well, it won't," he scoffed. "I'm going to find him. He promised me a wedding."

Souls don't just die. They go to someplace that Roier has only ever heard of: Purgatory.

Once in Purgatory, souls get judged by the Eye of Justice. He asks them questions about their life, and they have to answer truthfully, or he'll feed them to his children.

There are a few options for what comes next.

One: they pass the Eye of Justice's judgement and are allowed to move on to whatever afterlife they believe in.

Two: they pass the Eye of Justice's judgement and are allowed to reincarnate into another life.

Three: they fail the Eye of Justice's judgement and are forcibly sent to reincarnate into the life of a bug or a blade of grass or something else boring and tortuous.

Roier got to skip out on Purgatory entirely because he took the direct line to Hell. But maybe, just maybe, if he had died regularly, he could have seen his husband in Purgatory, and they could have reincarnated together.

...Ugh. Hindsight is a bitch.

(Roier is visiting his grandfather when the church bells ring.

"A witch!" he hears a woman scream, and his stomach fell right into his shoes.)

It's been 500 years, and Roier has gotten a bit of a reputation among modern witches for being one of the easier demons to work with. He'll help with their problems in exchange for information on a certain lost soul: if they hear from his husband's soul, they summon Roier. Or he'll help in exchange for some book recommendations for his son; Hell has many things, but it does not have a public library.

He isn't a particularly strong demon despite what his only angel friend, Etoiles, might say. Etoiles is just a silly little guy, don't listen to him!

(He never even got to say goodbye. They locked eyes as the flames rose, and Roier screamed his name one last time, and he hasn't been able to feel anything since.)

Jaiden was the first demon that Roier had ever met.

He was on the floor surrounded by the ashes that used to be his home. His husband's books were in charred tatters around him, but one managed to survive the fire. It was almost supernatural, but, like, yeah. Demon book, of course it was fireproof.

He was bleeding. He had offered his blood, and his soul, to the demon in exchange for his husband's life back.

She sat on the floor with him.

"I can't do that," she gently told him. "Demons can do a lot of things, but we can't perform miracles."

Roier's throat burned: smoke inhalation and grief.

"Oh," he said, small-sounding.

"But I can get his soul to Hell," she offered. "In exchange... you have to go to Hell."

His answer was immediate: "Yes."

She blinked. "I wasn't finished?"

"The answer is still 'Yes'. As long as I'm with him again, I don't care what happens to me."

"You'll have to turn your life over to Satan. You can't just go to Hell. That isn't how it works."

Roier shrugged. "That's fine."

Jaiden gawked for a moment before nodding and standing and extending her hand.

He took it.

And then he died.

But it's been 500 fucking years, and now Roier is being summoned by another witch for another deal. He'll probably have to help supply additional magic for some big important spell, that's basically all he's used for these days. He's more than a battery, thanks! He's a demon, he should be out, like, stealing souls and shit.

He goes, anyway, because he has to. If he doesn't, his contract is void, and he won't get to see his husband because he himself will be sent to Purgatory to be judged and, really, he does not want to deal with that. (The Eye of Judgement is fucking creepy, okay?)

There's the familiar pull at Roier's core, and the familiar blinding burst of light as he's yanked into the Mortal Realm, and the familiar smell of brimstone and evil that follows him wherever he goes outside of Hell.

The room is filled with blood red smoke as he appears- his trademark.

(The most important thing to a demon these days isn't evil, it's marketability.)

The witch in front of him, nothing more than a shadow hidden behind the smoke, coughs and wheezes and fans their hand in front of their face.

They're kneeled on the ground in front of a pentagram drawn in... what the fuck is this, strawberry jam?

Roier crouches and sticks a finger into one of the circle's markings. Careful not to break the circle, he pulls his finger out and licks the red stuff on it.

Shocked, he looks at the witch, and he asks, "Dude, what the fuck? Is this blood?"

What happened to chalk!?

The witch coughs at him indignantly. "I needed to make sure I got someone powerful."

Roier rolls his eyes and plops fully onto the ground, criss-cross applesauce. He wipes his blood-covered fingertip on his jeans. Newbies...

"Well, you got me," he says, humble to the core. (He may be a super evil demon now, but he isn't a dick.) "So... what's up? What do you need?"

The smoke in the room slowly starts dissipating, revealing the witch to be a man in what have to be the previous day's clothes. His head is still ducked, and his face is still hidden in his elbow as he coughs, but Roier could almost call him objectively handsome. Shame Roier's married, this guy would be fun to mess around with.

"I need to- fuck-"

The witch coughs one last time before finally managing to get a lungful of clean air. He raises his head, and Roier finally gets a look at his face, and-

"I need your help," the witch says, voice rough and rugged and absolutely heartbreaking. "I need to kill someone, and I need your help to do it."

"Okay," Roier agrees. He doesn't have a choice, being a summoned demon and all, but he doesn't think he could turn this witch down at all, because...

("Cellbit!" Roier screams.

He can see his face in his husband's glassy eyes, and then he sees nothing but the flames as they rise over Cellbit's head and drown him whole.)

The man with his husband's face frowns, suspicious.

"What," he asks, "just like that?"

Roier grins, fangs and all. "Just like that."

After all, he doesn't think he'll need any payment for this one.

He's finally found what he's been looking for.

#a.d.'s fics i suppose #a.d.'s fics i suppose.#spiderbit #guapoduo #bit of a weird format going on here but it felt like it worked okay?#real sporadic but so are this dude's thoughts

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https-milo · 2 months

Text

Family Man

Summary: Dabi meets the love of his life and leaves the LoV to care for her and their new baby

m. list / inspired by this post of mine B)

TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF • no one is dead >:( • OOC Dabi, sue me!

Being a parent was always something I dreamed about. When I was little, I used to imagine meeting the man of my dreams and starting a family with him as soon as possible. But with every failed relationship I seemed to have, my hopes that would happen diminished. I was walking home from the hospital I work at when I stumbled across a man with a long black coat and a scarred face. He had black hair and piercings and it looked like his scars had staples where they met the non-scarred skin. He was hunched over and clutching his stomach. I wearily approached him.

"Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly. The sound of my voice made his head shoot up, he looked my straight in my eyes. My [eye color] eyes met his icy blue ones.

"Obviously not," He replied through gritted teeth.

"I can help you, the hospital isn't too far-" he cut me off.

"I can't go to the hospital," He said.

"Why not?" I asked

"Just help me out and maybe I'll tell you afterward," He answered. I nodded and walked over to him.

"Here, I can help you walk. I'll take you to my house, it's not that far from here," I said with a smile. The man rolled his eyes at me and supported himself using my shoulder. We stumbled up a few blocks to my apartment building. It was a cheap place and looked run down, but the quality wasn't horrible. I couldn't complain.

"What happened?" I asked. We were now in my apartment and I had the stranger sitting on one of my kitchen chairs.

"I got stabbed. The fucker got me good too," the man replied.

"Can you uh... Take your shirt off?" I asked. The man smirked a bit at my awkwardness.

"Sure," He replied. He took off his jacket and shirt tauntingly slow. He never gave up eye contact either. He was well built and muscular. He had scars on his stomach that matched his face. A weird part of me found it attractive. But I quickly shook that thought and began working. I looked at the wound and my quirk told me everything I need to know.

My quirk was basically an X-ray without all the machines, and it gave me a description of the wound with what caused it. "You're lucky, if you were stabbed one inch to the right, it would've hit your intestines," I explained.

"How do you know? You haven't even touched me," he asked.

I hummed, "My quirk. Wasn't fit to be a pro, so I became a doctor." I walked away to grab a needle and thread to stitch him. "What's your deal? Are you in a gang or something?"

He hesitated, "You could say that."

I nodded, "Ah ok. At least you weren't some random civilian that got stabbed then."

"What? You think I deserved to be stabbed?" He asked.

"That's not what I meant. No one 'deserves' to be stabbed. I'm just saying crime has been on the rise and I'd hate it if someone defenseless got stabbed. But since you're in a sorta-gang or whatever, then you can handle yourself," I explained.

He scoffed, "Whatever. I kill people, you know. I could kill you right now."

I shrugged, "Doesn't matter. My job is helping the sick and injured, not persecuting them. And done. There, all stitched up and not bleeding."

"What already?" He asked. "I didn't even feel you start."

"Just another part of my quirk. When someone who's hurt talks to me, it gives the same effect painkillers would. Pretty nifty, huh?" I explained. "I'm Y/N by the way. If you're ever injured again, you can stop by. I usually get off work around 10 PM and go in at 8 AM."

"Dabi. I'll keep you to that offer," He simply said before putting his clothes back on and leaving.

"Take care, be safe," I said as I closed the door.

The second time I saw him it was midnight and there were loud knocks at my door. Hurriedly, I rushed to the door and opened it. Dabi was there with a teenage girl in his arms. "I didn't know where else to go," he said. "Please."

"Don't just stand there! Put her on the counter!" I instructed. I pushed everything that was on my counter to the floor to make room for the girl. Dabi gently placed her down and I scanned her body. She had 2 stab wounds on her lower stomach and large lacerations on her arms and legs. "Who did this? What happened? Try waking her up, I need her to speak to me so she doesn't feel any pain."

"We were trying to get more recruits for our group. Apparently we messed with the wrong gang. They went crazy and started attacking us," Dabi explained. He tapped the girls face and gently woke her up.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"Hi, I'm Y/n and I'm going to help you out, okay? Can you tell me about yourself?" I was cleaning the cuts on her arm first. I couldn't start stitching the stab wounds until she was awake and speaking to me.

"My name is Himiko Toga. It's nice to meet you," she answered. I wrapped her arm with bandages and moved to her legs.

"Hi, sweetie. How old are you?" I asked. She was starting to get more awake and that's all I needed.

"I'm 16, how old are you?"

"I'm 22, do you feel any pain?"

She looked at her bloodied badge wildly, "No-no but I'm sure I should? I'm bleeding!"

"Don't worry, it's just my quirk. You're gonna be okay. Dabi, can you dress this real quick? I want to stitch her quickly before she loses too much blood," I asked.

Dabi nodded and grabbed the bandages from my hand. He wrapped her leg wounds as I started to stitch the first stab wound on her stomach. "I need you to keep talking to me, okay? It can be anything, just keep talking," I said. Himiko nodded.

"Well I saw this really cute kitten! It was adorable! It was so small. It was gray with brown spots! I'm gushing just thinking about it! While me and patchwork were on our mission, one of the gang members looked soooo cute! Her hair was really pretty. Almost as pretty as yours! You're really pretty, by the way. I bet you'd look even cuter if you bled a little!~"

"Done! And thank you for the compliments, but I'm not really a big fan of bleeding. Would you like a change of clothes? I can grab something of mine real quick," I offered. Himiko nodded and sat up. I left the room and went to my closet. I tried taking her clothes into account for what she'd like. I settled for a white skirt and pink cardigan with a white undershirt. Just as I was about to walk back into my kitchen, I heard the two talking.

"She's super pretty, and nice! You should totallyyy try getting with her~," Himiko said.

Dabi scoffed, "As if she'd like someone like me. Incase you forgot, we kill people for a living. She saves them. As pretty and nice as she is, no one can look past that fact."

"Ooo so you totally would if the circumstances were different!!"

Dabi shrugged, "Who wouldn't?"

I walk over to them and hand Himiko the clothes. "Here you go, hon. You can go change in my bathroom, it's the first door down the hallway." Himiko nodded and walked to my bathroom to change. I turned to face Dabi. "You okay? Any wounds?"

He shrugged, "None that are too deep."

"I can dress them if you want. I'd rather they didn't get infected," I said. He rolled his eyes but didn't stop me from pushing him into a chair. He had some scratches on his face I hadn't noticed before, along with surface-level gashes on his arm.

"Why do you even care?" He asked. I was cleaning the blood from his cheek. Our faces were only centimeters apart. I looked into his eyes and blushed wildly.

"Everyone deserves to have someone who cares. I'm here to take care of you whenever you need me," I replied kindly. He scoffed.

"I don't deserve this," He said.

"Why not?"

He hesitated, feelings were something he obviously wasn't good with. "You're too nice. And I'm... me."

"I'm not 'too nice'," I replied. "I just... do what I can. Everyone deserves someone in their corner. And, even if I don't support what you do, I'm here for you and whoever else needs my help."

I was done bandaging him and Himiko came out of the bathroom. "I'm ready! Do I look cute?~"

"The cutest girl in the whole world," I replied happily.

"Thank you!" Himiko replied. She jumped into my arms and squeezed me. "Can I have your number? I need more girls in my life."

"Sure, do you have your phone?" I asked.

"Yep! Right here!" She pulled her phone out and handed it to me. I put my contact in and handed it back.

"Feel free to come over whenever. You don't need to be injured to hang out," I said to Himiko. I turned to Dabi, "That goes to you too."

He scoffed, "Yeah, whatever. C'mon, crazy."

He and Himiko left my house. "Take care, be safe," I said to them as I closed the door.

I was walking to my apartment when I saw Dabi standing outside my door. It had been 2 months since we first met. In those two months, he was consistently coming over. I noticed with each time he was less hurt. "Dabi? What's up? You okay?" I doted. I scanned over his body and saw no injuries.

He sighed, "I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just... I don't know. I can leave if you want."

"What? No, of course not. Come in," I replied. I unlocked my door and let him in. "I was just about to make some dinner."

"What're you gonna make?" He asked.

I rubbed my neck sheepishly, "I was going to make some ramen. Sorry, if I knew you were coming, I would've prepared something."

He just shrugged, "You work long shifts, I don't mind. As long as I'm with you."

I flushed. "You don't mean that."

"Why wouldn't I?" Dabi asked. "You... you're good to be around. I don't know... You... You're safe."

I smiled brightly, "Well, I enjoy being around you too." I finished our ramen bowls and brought them to the living room. I placed the two bowls on the coffee table. I sat down and Dabi sat beside me. Even though the couch was medium-sized and there was way more room, we were shoulder to shoulder. I handed him the remote. "Put on whatever you want."

He nodded and put on a random horror movie. "So, what'd you do today?" He asked.

"Hmm. Well, I went home early because we were double-staffed so they sent me home. Which is so stupid? Like I literally have the x-ray and painkillers built into me. And, get this, my replacement was some girl whose quirk is growing hair. Not to quirk shame, but c'mon!" I complained. "I'm not too shocked though, my manager hates me. We used to have a fling but I broke up with him because he cheated on me. And he's not over me?! Ugh, boys are so stupid. No offense."

Dabi hummed in acknowledgment, "Sounds rough."

I sighed, "Yeah. But it's ok. You're here now. What did you do today?"

"Normal league things. I got into an argument with our leader. I couldn't stand being with him. I wasn't sure where else to go, so I came here," Dabi explained.

"You're always welcome here, you know," I said.

He hesitated. "Yeah. I know."

I don't remember falling asleep, but I woke up with my head on Dabi's shoulder and his head on mine. I blushed wildly. I lightly pushed him off of me and let him lay down fully on the couch. I grabbed a blanket and draped it over him. It was 7 am and I had to work in an hour, so I decided to make a small breakfast. I got instant pancake mix and made a couple pancakes for Dabi when he woke up. I made a few extra on a separate plate for Himiko if he saw her today. I wrote a note for him.

We fell asleep watching the movie last night whoops :,) I made you some pancakes and there should be a few extra for Himiko if you see her today (but if youre extra hungry, feel free to eat them all!! I didn't tell her about them ;) ) visit me again sometime? I enjoyed your company <3

- Y/N

Dabi has been visiting me everyday for the past two weeks. He always came around 11 PM and stayed until 2 AM. Usually, though, we'd fall asleep on the couch. It was weirdly domestic. Whenever I heard his knock at my door, a feeling of unbeatable happiness overcame me. When he walked in, it felt different. I wasn't sure how or why, but something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I did a scan and he had no injuries, which made me even more confused.

"My boss wants to know who I keep sneaking off to see," Dabi said. He rubbed his neck. "He wants to meet you. Everyone does."

"Oh, ok. That's fine. Um they're not gonna like... Hurt me right?"

Dabi's eyes widened. "No. And if they try anything, I have you."

I sighed, "Okay. So like... Right now... Orrrrrr?"

He nodded, "Right now preferably."

"Ok, let me just change out of my pajamas," I said. He nodded and sat on my couch. He made himself at home as he always did. I put on sweatpants and a T-shirt. It wasn't too cold outside so I wasn't worried. I put on my sneakers and walked over to Dabi. "Ready?" He nodded and we left my apartment.

It was a 10 minute walk to his base. In that time he was growing more and more anxious. We were just outside the entrance when I stopped him. "Are you okay? Like seriously, what's up?" I placed my hands on his arms to stop him from moving.

"It's nothing. It's stupid," He said.

"it's not stupid if it's affecting you," I replied.

He sighed. "It's just... God this is pathetic... I just don't want you to like them more... than... you... like... me..." He hesitated on his words as he went on.

I giggled but hid it behind one of my hands. "You're jealous! That's so cute."

He scoffed, "Yeah, yeah. Adorable." He refused to meet my eyes. But I grabbed his face and gently tilted it down to look at me.

"You don't have to worry. I'm not gonna leave you," I said. His eyes lightened and he sighed.

"Whatever. Let's just meet them," He replied. I nodded and he grabbed my hand to lead me inside. Immediately, Himiko jumped in my arms.

"Y/n-channnn!~" She cheered as she spun us around.

"Himi-chan!" I greeted back. "How are you?"

"I'm good! Did you get the cat picture I sent you?" She asked.

"Yes! He was so cute! Did you see the makeup look I sent you?"

"Yesss!! You looked so cute! I loved the red, it almost looked like blood!~"

"I knew you'd like it! That's why I did it!" I giggled. The two of us were holding hands and excitedly talking. Unbeknownst to me, Dabi was talking with a guy with light blue hair; their boss.

"This is the girl you've been meeting?" He asked.

"Yeah. She's something, isn't she?" He had a faint, almost unnoticeable smile on his face. Shigaraki cleared his throat and I turned my attention to him. I forgot about everyone else I was meeting, I was just really happy to see Himiko.

"I'm so sorry! It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Y/n L/n," I introduced. I extended a hand out to their boss, but Dabi pushed it down. I spared him a confused glance before looking back at the boss.

"Shigaraki. Dabi has told us a lot about you," He said.

"All good things, I hope?" I joked lightly. Shigaraki just hummed. I turned to the rest of the League. They were all in their villain outfits. One of them had a full body suit on with the mask being half grey and half black. One of them wore a full suit; the button-up was orange-red and he had a top hat with a mask on. Another was a lizard with purple hair and a red torn up scarf, something that obviously drew inspiration from Stain: The Hero Killer. And the final man was... made of gas? He was purple and black and sort of looked like a weird cloud.

"it's nice to meet you guys as well," I said with a wave. The man in the body suit approached me, and looked me up and down before jumping excitedly.

"Oh it's gonna be so fun to have someone new around!" He said. Then his personality completely shifted. "No it won't. Yes it will. No. Yes."

I just kinda stared at him awkwardly. I looked to Dabi for some help and he pulled me away from him. "That's Twice," he introduced. "He's a little crazy." I nodded.

"No problem! I was just a little concerned," I replied. The lizard man grabbed my attention.

"I'm Spinner. Hey, do you happen to know who the Hero Killer is?"

"I know of him, yeah," I shrugged.

"Do you agree with him?" Spinner asked.

"Well, I think there are a lot of fake heroes but like I don't think anyone deserves to die. I see a lot of people close to death with my job, and each time it doesn't get any easier," I answered.

"You do know who you're talking to right?" The top hat wearing one asked.

"Yeah, you know we kill people, right?" Shigaraki asked.

"Yeah I know. I don't support it. But, my job isn't persecuting criminals; it's helping people. So, even if I could never do what you guys do, I don't hate you or think lowly of you," I explained.

Shigaraki approached me, he placed four fingers on my shoulder and Dabi tensed. "What are you doing?" He asked.

Shigaraki smirked, "What makes you trust us? We could kill you right now."

I showed no fear. I looked him in his eyes. His red ones met my own. "I don't trust you. Nothing is stopping you from killing me. But... I don't think Dabi would walk me into a situation he knew I wouldn't leave from. I trust him and Himiko."

Shigaraki scoffed, his grip on my shoulder tightened. His index finger, which he was keeping off my shoulder, was inching closer and closer slowly. It was as if he wanted a reaction from me or someone else. I was about to say something when Dabi shoved him away from me.

"Quit it, will you?" He said gruffly, clearly annoyed. "You're lucky I even dragged her here to meet your ugly ass."

"Going soft, Dabi?" Shigaraki asked. Dabi didn't answer. He just grabbed my hand and we walked back to my apartment. His hand never left mine.

When we got home and the door was shut, he looked me up and down - as if trying to find an injury. I recognized the habit as one of my own whenever he was at my door. "Hey I'm okay," I reassured.

"The... The reason they wanted to meet you was because I've been talking about you. A lot," he said with a sigh as he lazed about on my couch. I joined him and sat curled up on his chest. These past few months have been the best of my life. He, despite being a serial killer, was safe.

"And what do you tell them?" I ask.

"I tell them I want to be with you," he admits. I could tell it wasn't easy as he hesitated on his words and his heartbeat quickened. I looked up at him.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's not going to be... easy liking me and I get it if you don't like me like that. Except, I might have to kill you cause this is too embarrassing to not kill over." Now, normally if a mass murderer says something like this, I'd be concerned. But Dabi said it in a light way. There may have been some truth but I don't think he'd ever kill me... Right?

"Nothing is ever easy. I thought you were cute the minute I saw you shirtless in my kitchen," I joked. "I like you too, Dabi."

He hesitated greatly at my words. "...Touya. My name is Touya."

My eyes widened, "Woah wait what? Dabi isn't your real name?"

He looked at me quizzically. "No?? What kind of name is Dabi for a baby??"

"I don't know! I thought your parents hated you or something!"

"I mean, you could say that. My old man is a piece of shit to put it lightly. I was sick of the way things were going so I... Faked my death and became a villain."

"I'm sorry, Touya. I can't imagine," I said gently. I sat up from his chest and made him look at me. There was something so cute about him, about us. He closed his eyes and placed a hand on the back of my neck, pushing my face closer to his. I closed my eyes as well and our lips connected halfway.

In that moment, we were eternal. Nothing else mattered. The cars that sped down the street and the dogs that barked, all those noises were drowned out simply by the feeling of being so close to someone else. His hands traveled to my waist and he pulled me into his lap. My hand moved from his face to his shoulder to support myself. We disconnected our lips from each other after a minute, taking deep breaths and admiring the other.

"Maybe I am going soft," He mumbles. I didn't hear him though. I was already passed out sitting in his lap.

Two months into dating and Touya practically lives with me. Some of his clothes were in my closet and drawers, I had his favorite foods constantly stocked in my cabinets and fridge, and he even had his own toothbrush in my bathroom. We were sitting on my couch when I got a call from my sister, I looked puzzled and paused our show.

"[Sisters name]? What's up?" I asked. Dabi was about to ask me something but I held a finger up. He scoffed, crossed his arms, and pushed me away dramatically. "You want me to watch your kid..? Um yeah sure! Drop him off at my house." She hung up quickly after the confirmation.

"Who was that?" Dabi asked.

"My sister. We haven't spoken in 2 years and suddenly she has a kid and wants me to babysit? Ugh," I groaned.

He just hummed. "Do you think she's gonna freak out when she sees my face?"

"considering the fact it's on wanted posters; probably," I loving tap his cheek and he rolls his eyes. I was about to move off the couch but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

"Do you want kids?" He asked. It was the question I was both dreading and incredibly excited for.

"I would like some, yes. But with work and everything I don't know if I'd be able to," I replied.

"What? Like it's a one person job?" He teased.

I rolled my eyes. "With the people I used to date, I knew it would've been. How about you, Mr. Murder?"

"I used to think starting a family would be out of the picture for me but I don't know if that's the case anymore," he replied simply. He said it so casually I thought I was reading too deep into things.

"Y-you want to to have a family with me?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I don't know who else I'd rather have one with. Besides, we'd make cute babies."

My sister arrived with my nephew. It was our first time meeting and I'm sure it was likely going to be the last. I brought Kam to the living room and introduced him to Touya.

"Kam, this is Touya. Touya, this is Kam," I said.

"Are those real?" Kam asked, pointing at Touya's face.

"My scars?" Touya asked. Kam nodded. "Yeah, bud. They're real. I got into a really bad accident when I was younger. They don't scare you, do they?"

Kam shook his head immediately. "No! They look super cool!"

Touya smiled. "Yeah?"

"Mhm!" Kam replied with an innocent smile on his face. Touya looked at me with a soft smile of his own. He had a look in his eyes as he played and talked to Kam. It was nothing I'd seen before. His eyes were full of fatherly love.

It was around 5 when the three of us were curled up on the couch. My head rested on Touya's chest and Kam sat on Touya's lap. He had protective arms wrapped around us. Kam was already sleeping and I was about to lull off myself, but then Touya started speaking.

"We should have one," He said. "These couple hours have been better than I could've imagined."

"You know it isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows, right? If we have one it's gonna be a newborn and it'll cry all the time," I replied.

"Do you not want one?"

"I do. I really do. But, I don't want to force you into a commitment you're not ready for. Kids are a handful."

"I know. But... My life has been totally different these past months and it's because of you. Fuck, princess, I don't know what kind of drug you are but I'm addicted. You make me want to be a better person. But I know even if I wasn't, you'd still be there. You're the best damn thing in my life."

"Look at you getting all sappy on me," I teased.

"Forget it then," He scoffed. I rolled my eyes and moved off his chest to look at him in his eyes. I placed a hand on his cheek and and kiss him.

"I'm only teasing. You're the best thing in my life too. Before I met you, I was just in a constant loop. My days would feel the same and my life didn't feel worth it. Even if you're a crazy murderer, you're my crazy murderer."

He sarcastically smiled and rolled his eyes. "I think I'm the more sane one in this relationship."

"Only because I got you started on meds," I shrugged. "If you're serious, we can have a baby."

"Of course I'm serious. I just... Don't want to be like my dad."

"And you're not gonna. I'm not worried about that in the slightest. I can keep you in check."

"Yeah, I know you can, doll," He breathed out a sigh. He looked down at his lap as Kam shifted to get comfortable. His smile met his eyes as he leaned his head against mine.

I woke Touya up with an at-home pregnancy test in my hand. The two lines on it made me feel anxious. I was worried he wouldn't actually want to have a kid, that maybe he just said it to make me feel better. "Touya," I said as I shook him awake.

"Hm? I'm trying to sleep, princess," He groaned into his pillow. By this time, he was fully living in my apartment. I got new pillows and sheets, we painted the walls, and hung up photos of us together. It really felt like a home.

"You might want to wake up," I said. "Something happened."

He shot up almost immediately. He looked at me and scanned my body as if he had my quirk. Then his eyes fell onto my hands with the pregnancy test in their grasp. He looked at me shocked and then he grabbed the test. He saw the two lines and breathed deeply. "We're going to be parents?" He asked.

"Y-yeah," I choked. "I understand if you don't want me to have it... I know we talked about it a lot but I get it if you... want.. to.. leave..?" I looked down and refused to meet his eyes. He sighed.

"After all this time, you really think I'm going to leave you?" He asked. He grabbed my face and looked at me so sincerely. "We're gonna be parents, princess. I'll leave the league, I'll try seeing what I can do to become reformed, I want to be with you."

"You mean it?"

"Never wanted anything more in my life."

Touya came home from visiting the League with a bruise on his face. I rushed over to him immediately. "What happened?" I doted.

"They couldn't believe I was leaving. Me and Scratchy got into a fight," He smiled. "They want to see our baby when he's born and Crazy says you need to text her."

It had been three months since Touya started his reformation process. It wasn't easy. I was basically a glorified babysitter. He was put on meds that blocked his quirk, something I knew he hated. But he kept going for me. Today was finally the day we were going to see his siblings. His father, Endeavor, was someone he wanted nothing to do with. Even after all the therapy he went through, nothing could shake the hatred he felt. His natural hair was showing now, he stopped dying it black and it was now a bright white. I wore a simple light purple dress and Touya had black jeans and a dark purple button-up on.

"What if they don't like me?" I groaned as we walked to his house.

"I should be the one worrying about that. You're not a serial killer," Touya grumbled.

"Former serial killer," I chimed. He rolled his eyes. I looked up and we were on the Todoroki Family's doorstep. "Are you ready?"

He shrugged, "Only been a decade or so since I saw them."

I huff and knock on the door. A girl opens it, Fuyumi I assume. "Hi, I hope you were informed about our visit..." I asked worriedly. Touya was standing awkwardly at my side.

"No, I'm sorry. Who are you?" Fuyumi asked.

My heart dropped. "I'm your brother's girlfriend, and this is Touya." I introduced the two for him, I knew he wouldn't be able to. Fuyumi's eyes widened.

"Touya?" She gasped. She looked at his scarred face and blue eyes. A look of recognition flashed behind her own.

"Hey, Yumi," Touya replied. He acted casual, but I could tell it was eating him up inside. There was so much he wanted to say, but no words could describe.

"Does Dad know you're here?" she asked.

Touya tensed. "He knows we're here, but I refuse to see him." His sister hummed.

"Well, come in. Tell us where you've been!" She said kindly. She led the two of us in and sat us down at the table. "Nats! Sho! Come down here!"

Touya was growing more and more anxious. He couldn't stop the feeling of anxiety that crawled within him. I placed my hand in his and squeezed tightly, he gently sighed and took deep breaths. Natsuo and Shoto came down, they were expecting dinner and not their long-lost brother and his girlfriend, obviously.

"Who are they?" Shoto asked.

"Touya?" Natsuo said, amazed. Shoto looked at Touya shocked. Natsuo pushed past Fuyumi and Shoto and embraced Touya tightly. I smiled at the sight.

Touya and I sat at the table as he reconnected with his siblings. After the initial shock of seeing him wore off, they welcomed him with open arms. We still hadn't told them the "big news" so to speak.

"We didn't come here just to meet and catch up," Touya said. He glanced at me and I looked down slightly. "Are you two getting married?" Fuyumi asked. I blushed viciously. "N-no!" "Well?" Natsuo prompted. Touya looked at me and I nodded. "She's pregnant," Touya explained. All three of their eyes widened. Fuyumi immediately started doting on me and cheerfully checked over my body. Natsuo patted Touya on his back and Shoto was just stunned. "Oh my god! How far along are you?" Fuyumi asked. "14 weeks," I answered. "I hope you guys aren't too shocked." "Well, our brother comes back from the dead with a girlfriend and a baby on the way... I think we can be a little shocked," Natsuo said. I laughed a bit. "You're having a kid out of wedlock?" Shoto asked. "Yeah," Touya said as he rubbed his neck. "It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment decision." "At that exact moment sure, but we talked about it beforehand," I rolled my eyes. "Hey, I'm not complaining," He teased. I blushed and stuck my thumb down at him. Shoto made a fake throw-up noise and Natsuo looked away with a soft smile. Fuyumi shook her head.

"How are you going to tell Dad?" She asked. Touya shrugged, "Simple. We're not. He'll find out when he finds out but he won't hear it from either of us." Fuyumi just nodded. "I'm glad to have you back, Touya." "Me too!" Natsuo agreed. "It is nice," Shoto added. Touya just sheepishly rubbed his neck again, he clearly wasn't expecting so much support. "It's good to be back," Touya said.

Our baby woke up crying for the third time that night. It was now one full year since Touya started reforming. He went to all his mandatory meetings, took his meds, and went through extensive therapy. I was about to get up but my white-haired boyfriend stopped me. Even though he seemed annoyed, I could see the love in his eyes from just knowing our baby was alive and with us. He was happy because we had a family. "I'll get him, princess," He said. He pushed me back to lying down and pulled the blanket back over my body. I smiled at him and watched as he went over to the crib we set up in our room. He held our baby in his hands and cradled him tightly as he rocked him back to sleep. After a few minutes, our baby fell back asleep. Touya smiled and gently placed him back in the crib.

Touya crawled into bed with me and held me close. "Thank you," Touya whispered into my hair. "For what?" I asked, snuggling into him further. "Giving me something to live for," He replied.

BONUS!

#bnha #mha #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #anime #anime x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #xreader #dabi #dabi x reader #touya todoroki #touya x reader #mha touya #dabi todoroki #dabi my hero academia

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thefrogdalorian · 8 months

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So I checked AO3 this morning after a couple of days and was greeted by this sight:

I got very excited, this is a huge number! Right now I have one ongoing longfic and a oneshot I posted a couple of days ago that I was very proud of, so I thought some more readers had found them.

Well, I was pretty dismayed to discover that SEVEN of these comments were from someone who proceeded to go through my 182k word longfic and told me all the things they didn't like about it and personally disagreed with.

They started off as maybe a little bit judgmental, but nothing too personal, before culminating in this lovely little comment:

(blocked out potentially triggering content that was properly tagged on AO3)

It seemed to me as though they were disappointed that my fic wasn't what they wanted to read. Which is fine, but that's not the author's problem. It's on you as a reader to curate your own internet experience.

It is so unbelievably rude to go into the comment section of a fic and write something like this. Guess what: I had a beta at the time! I do not need one now. I also don't want to know what you don't like about the fic, nor do I want to be compared to other writers. Fanfic is a hobby, I do this because I love it and I post it online FOR FREE. I do not want unsolicited criticism in any of my comment sections.

Anyway, I wrote this particular 182,000 word fic in 2 months and I'd like to see them try to do the same, perhaps then they could judge others. Do I think I could do a better job now? Yes. Am I still proud of it though? Hell yes! It's my baby and got me back into writing, it proved my own capabilities when it comes to writing.

I've had far more lovely comments than horrible ones and I won't let this one keep me down. But I won't lie and say that it didn't take me aback and wasn't kind of difficult to process. Please don't do this to fanfic authors, we are fans and hobbyists, not professional writers.

Finally, I thought I'd write this handy guide for people who think like this particular commenter:

What To Do If You Don't Like a Fanfic:

Stop reading the fic

Close the fic

Go on with your life

Hope this helps! :)

#ao3 #writing #spud rants #fanfic #anyway i've had a good day personally bc i am finally at a point to book my driving test WOOO!!! go me #but just gonna take some time to sort out my feelings about this i think lol #sigh why do people

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mcflymemes · 11 months

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AS SAID BY IRON BULL * assorted dialogue from dragon age inquisition, updated version

hey, don't top from the bottom.

next time you're free, why don't you come grab a drink?

didn't figure you were the kind to bed your way to power.

love is all starlight and gentle blushes. passion leaves your fingers sore from clawing the sheets.

do you want your silky underthings back, or did you leave those like a token?

you're the toughest, wisest, most beautiful person i've ever met.

these big muscled hands could tear those robes off you while you struggled, helpless in my grip.

i will never hurt you without your permission. you will always be safe.

you don't need to be afraid... unless you want to.

you see us as this forbidden, terrible thing, and you're inclined to do the forbidden...

you want to watch, don't you?

make sure you undress him with your eyes... respectfully.

i'd offer to help you get rid of that frustration but, you know... i'm in a committed relationship.

next time we're alone, i'm going to pin you down and do things your body won't believe.

all that crap made sense to you?

i can't tell you how proud i'm gonna be, watching you out there, addressing them... with this big, old love bite on your neck.

wait, i'll flex a little for you. make it easier.

that staff's in pretty good shape. do you spend a lot of time polishing it?

i can see you don't want to talk about it. bet you looked good doing it, though.

how do you manage that while staring up at everyone's ass the whole time?

you and i are fine as long as you don't do any weird crap.

i'd pin you down, and as you gripped me, i... would... conquer... you.

oh, for shit's sake.

good. i like that energy. stoke those fires, big guy.

all i'm saying is... you ever want to explore that, my door's always open.

worked that out on your own, did you?

you're not as flashy as most mages.

wait, did you "forget" them so you'd have an excuse to come back? you sly dog.

i didn't say it was healthy.

you don't actually like thinking about hurting people, do you?

if you do that, everyone knows you're a spy.

still waiting for me to do something sneaky and spy-like?

we probably won't try down to burn down a city this time.

really not sad i missed that one.

you're lucky then. it was awful.

you only lack the will to get more blood on your hands?

enjoying the great outdoors?

this area's low on dancing girls, sadly.

i've always liked fighting.

i'm not sure you know what you're asking. not sure if you're ready for it.

well, that's a fucking relief.

i'm fine. hurt myself worse than this fooling around in bed.

so, you going to let me have it, [name]? or do i get to wait and wonder?

you really kicked the crap outta that guy.

it's pretty hot where we're from.

it's not a secret. it's just too big for a quit chat.

you get that thing i asked about?

maybe you should stand in front of me.

you ever get the asses mixed up?

you're a damn fine marksman.

i fell on a guy who tried to stab me in the gut.

all right, now you're just making it weird.

nobody fights well when their clothes are on fire.

i... didn't mean to offend you.

that hurts, [name]. that's hurtful.

i may have done it a couple of times on purpose.

i cold 'cause it freezes them, and then they break into little bits when i chop them in half.

with the magic, do you prefer fire, or lightning, or cold, or what?

you don't need to worry. i have no intention of trying to leash anyone.

are you gonna write me into one of your stories?

it's just daring somebody to try to attack it.

when that breaks, you fix it. like we're doing now.

in theory, they're no different from anyone else.

anyone who takes that burden and lives a good life with it has many respect.

you're pretty tall for a human.

the bloodstains are good for scaring enemies.

could you make it sound angrier? "love" is a bit soft.

tell me more about the coat.

i don't need a book to remind me that the world is full of horrible crap.

you're really good with that bow.

it's just friendly. i won't step in your business.

what i'm saying is, please stop stealing my kills.

we should get shirts. probably need different sizes.

i think you're confusing. how can you just pick and choose what parts you believe in?

you know, i really like hitting things.

who has sex smelling like roses?

hey, i don't hate you. you and me? we're good.

hey, no-pants fridays is a cause.

it's a difficult thing you've done, turning your back on one life to live another.

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hackedmotionsensors · 5 days

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lol i've complained about this a fair amount on twitter but I got a comment last night? that made me think about this again.

And its ...getting weird comments that I cannot tell if they're being RUDE or there's a language barrier or some combination of both.

I finished a standee art last night and posted it and this morning I get a reply from someone who's replied very confusingly before...."You're tired and need to go to sleep"

Which LMAO wasn't entirely untrue but that was the whole comment on the art.

Not to put this person on blast and obviously do not go bother them if you know where the comment is at.....

But like what the hell does that mean? I F E E L like this is a translation error or a miscommunication. But thats the ENTIRE problem. THAT IS THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. I'm tired of getting comments that are CONFUSING to me AT BEST...and more often just fucking rude.

Like....its weird. Bc i've been on the internet for close to 3 decades now??? Lol I'm so old. But.....I've been more confused in the past year or so with how people talk to perfect strangers on the internet. I think it might be a generational thing but like LMAO ARE THE "KIDS THESE DAYS" just ......fucking RUDE??? Like I've heard pre-teens and teens talk to each other and its pretty mean but so were a lot of kids when I was a teen. So maybe its a language barrier there.

But I feel like....because everyone is so comfortable talking to perfect strangers on the internet, and getting EXTREMELY overly close? or thinking they have the right to speak to people as if we're super besties (which in turn means saying a rude backhanded compliment thats intended to be nice but just sounds mean??)...its just....so common lately for me to just be like "Why the fuck would you say this to me?"

I'm not your friend. I'm just a random artist online that draws from a fandom you probably like (or hate? Idk your life lol)

I think this whole thing STARTED with Japanese and Korean artists (and probably lots of other languages that aren't English) begging people to stop leaving horrible reaction images or people saying "I'M GONNA K*LL YOU!!!!! THIS IS DEVASTATING!!!! I'M DEAD!!!!" and the poor artist being like...okay well this is a thing I have to live with now.

And I thought we DID move past that but I feel like its back just without the reaction images bc Gen Alpha and Z thinks reaction images are cringe LMAO (small blessings)

But ....I forget which drawing I did.....It was something sad. I think it was a sad zosan?? And this person LITERALLY said they were going to hunt me down. And that wasn't the initial comment. They said something equally as rude and when I asked for clarification for what they meant they were like " I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE"

GIRL ITS FANART OF ZORO AND SANJI!?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Again. I've talked about this til I'm blue in the face (fingers?? since its typing??) about this on twitter. And I've been sitting on this comment for nearly 24 hrs just....fucking confused. And I hate this ....confusion. Bc In My Day(tm) .....lol I didn't like mean comments then either but it was usually some asshole in my tumblr mail being like "YOU FUCKIN SUCK!!" lol

I might just be too stupid to interpret these quirky little comments but like

guys please if you like something. Just be normal and say "omg I love this" or like a cute reaction that is APPROPRIATE to the situation lol Don't demand things from me when I'm already giving you something that I'm doing in my free time for fun. Lol And stop asking me if there's a fic for comics or art that i TELL you came from me asdfasdfa I don't know where the fic is. I'd like to know too. (but also if I draw from a fic I link to the fic but I've decided to stop that for the time being. Any comics coming from me will be mine wholecloth for the foreseeable future)

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justjesse116 · 4 months

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I've been seeing a lot of "If Dabi dies it'll be a mercy" lately, and I have some Feelings™.

For the record, my blog is essentially Daddy Issues Central, so I feel like I'm uniquely qualified to weigh in on this situation.

But that's neither here or there, so;

On the one hand, I'm sure Dabi DOES in fact want to live, but wants and needs are different, yes? Would death really be a mercy? That depends. He needs help, REAL help. And that road is a long and winding thing. But I believe in my innermost heart that he'd have the support he needs. If I ever thought my sibling was dead, but then they popped up a decade later, even if they had committed horrible crimes I legitimately believe that I'd give them another chance. And the same with my mother. For all the crime shows she watches, she always says that she'd turn me in, but I honestly doubt she would, and even if she did I think she'd stand by me. There's something about being the first child, your mothers 'first baby'. There has only been a couple times my mother has called me her first baby, but it is never a pretty thing. It's heart wrenching, every time she's called me that it's been voice cracking, heart breaking situations. And every time I look at Dabi, I can almost hear Rei's voice, cracking, "my first baby." I refuse to believe his mother and siblings would abandon him, I reject that possibility absolutely.

And that's not even taking The League into account, because whether you like it or not, Dabi cares about all of them in some way. My whole point being; Dabi has a lot more people who care about him than he thinks, which seems to be a common theme with people who have a low self-worth.

So there's that, now on to the less pleasant side of things. So; would death REALLY be a mercy? And that's the million dollar question, isn't it? Unfortunately, I believe without a shadow of a doubt that Dabi couldn't possibly be happier than if he burned himself alive, taking everyone he wanted with him. I think he truly believes death is the only option, because he's been so miserable, so hurt for a full fucking decade at this point, he just wants it to end. When you've been so thoroughly rejected and neglected by someone who is literally 50% of your life, that hurt never goes away. Then factor in that someone believes their entire family is the same, you've got a recipe for disaster. And whether or not that's the 'good' or 'right' decision, it doesn't change the fact that it's a very human response to perceived rejection. Just because it isn't 'actually' real doesn't mean it doesn't feel VERY real to whoever it is happening to.

So I guess at the end of all this, I say what Dabi really wants is a 50 / 50 shot. Unsatisfying, I'm sure. But I really do think he feels both ways.

But I do need to add in that I NEED this God damn singed fucker to live, because if he dies not only is it going to be thematically awful for him and Shouto, but I personally will never recover.

As sad as it is, this ridiculous fictional character was the only thing that made me realize that I was fixating on my own sperm donor (who I haven't spoken to in over a decade) and that I need to GET A GRIP and fucking move on.

That's the main reason I need Todoroki Touya to live, because I'm selfish and sad and I need to see that he can live through this hell. Because if he can do it maybe I can do it too.

#I have too many feelings #dabi #todoroki touya #touya todoroki #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #DIC sponsored post

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kit-williams · 9 months

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War wife

@bispecsual here you go your space wolves

I think I'm getting the hang of doing x reader (still not my favorite as I'd prefer to make OCs but hey its an exercise in just writing)

Not 100% happy with this but happy enough

Tw: Yandere behavior & Plot

"Why hello Captain Arkyn." You cooed up at the space marine Captain as he always made a beeline to you. The now dubbed 'work wife' as the space wolves under him have openly said 'Where is Captain Arkyn's wifey?'

"Hello elskling." The timber of his voice seemed to shake the air around him as his voice dipped an octave in his greeting. "How is my aspiring Captain doing." He picked you up and just easily buried his face into the crook of your neck and you could hear the deep inhale. It was hard to stop the blush that danced over your cheeks... the butterflies that fluttered in your gut... oh you were a hardened veteran of 3 battlefields you shouldn't be getting all flustered but it was an Angel of the Emperor!

You wrapped your arms around the man and you let out the sigh as his hands felt so tender on you even in his power armor. "Come now Arkyn I'm very far off from being a captain and you shouldn't be all affectionate with the kids around." She spoke and could hear him snicker.

"The kids are fine I'm certain my boys are focused on other things then what daddy is doing right now." Arkyn growled out showing those enlarged canines of his. He drank in her groan of embarrassment but he could smell what he was saying was doing to her. A heady smell... not sweet it was salty... but thick like a musk... it was distinctively yours and he was addicted to it. "I'm feeling quite thirsty elskling."

You let out a shuttering breath as you could practically hear the lapping noise. This was the second battlefield you've met Captain Arkyn on and you two had left off on a good note. Well you survived that first note and even if it had been nearly a decade since that first encounter.... Captain Arkyn treated it as no time had passed at all. "Arkyn..." is all you manage to say on a shaky exhale.

Oh but for Arkyn time had passed and it drove him mad. For the Space Wolves it was a horribly kept secret that they indulged in the finer things in life... and they didn't leave it at just mead... they enjoyed their women too. For those with mates it's always a scent that drives them to pick their next mate... a smell that all the pretty little mortals all share in common regardless of if they can give the Brother children or not. Oh yes another horribly kept Fenrisian secret as half of the serfs and a quarter of the brothers were just offspring of other space wolves.

Arkyn just thought your scent was a fluke. You were a happy little thing... a tenacious little vixen... a courageous elskling. And he had driven himself mad at the fact he let you get away. He had spent 3652 days in his bed alone without you!!!! Oh he fixed that once he found out you were there. You looked older... it hurt him that he missed three thousand days of yours... three thousand days you could have been smiling at him... having his pups... thousands of days of laughter... tears... hopes and fears... sighs of delight and sighs of being fed up with his antics. Something in him snapped when he saw you again.

You... you just kept on surviving with your little misfit band that seemed to kept swapping in and out of members. You were thankful for Arkyn being here after the last of your original friends died in your arms. And here you thought Arkyn just wanted to relive the magical moments from back in the day but you were so thankful that he was there to hold onto you. And he always had a knack of holding onto you.

"RICO!" You screamed as you watched the man turn to mist as Arkyn's massive hand wrapped around your chest as he grabbed you and ran toward the Land Speeder. "They're all dead... they're all dead!" You screamed as you shot back at the damn heretics!

Thank the God Emperor for your helmet as when Arkyn jumped into the Speeder your head all but smashed into the armored chest. "Hang on!" He howled at you as all that was keeping you from flying off of the Speeder was his arm.

His mind was racing just like the Land Speeder was as bolters exploded out of the barrels. But a part of him was howling with laughter as it couldn't have lined up better! He really had to thank his Brothers for helping him. Oh yes he was a fool for letting her go the first time but they were here to help!

"Arkyn where are we going?!" You connect to his private vox line as you realize you're not heading back to camp and are seeing more space wolves and space marines around.

"To meet up with the rest of the Vlka Fenryka and let them know what has occurred."

"Alright when do you think I'll be heading back to the guard outpost?" That seemed to be said as he patched you to the rest of the wolves with him. It went silent for a beat before they all started to laugh.

"Oh she's a funny one Captain!"

"Oh when do I go back?" One said in a mocking tone as they laughed harder at the look on your face.

"Arkyn!" You looked up at the expressionless mask unaware of the enamored look on the man's face as his hand just moves so gently over what he can without crushing you. "Arkyn what are they talking about!?"

"Oh it seems yer man is tongue tied."

"The past ten years lassie... you're all that he could talk about."

You leaned away suddenly feeling very trapped and afraid as they speak like what is about to happen is just normal. But the fact you couldn't see their faces just made this a bit more horrifying.

"Really I don't know how he could have fucked you and let you go. It's like what I did with my little wifey. I fucked her so good that she didn't even realize that I snatched her up. "

"I've got a little husband this time around..." You hear one of them start but you soon only focus on the sound of breathing coming over the vox and realize it's Arkyn's breathing and the sound of chops being licked.

"You let Rico die...." Is all you could get out.

"He was too close to you elskling." Arkyn said as if it was the most logical thing.

You would often like to say that you were a fighter. You would fight against anything until the bitter end but you just shut down as you barely listened to the Fenrisian though you had a feeling it was about you. And when you woke up next... you'd be in Arkyn's room with a pretty new collar.

#Yandere #Yandere Space Marine #space wolves #Yandere Space Wolf #Space Marine #warhammer 40k

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