omgg lol [guy who won't stop going "more like scapeGOATED" voice] now hold! on!! lmao [same guy just saw encanto voice] Hold on!!!
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
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Janel, self described as “a female man” (p. 45) who likes to “run with the entire herd” (p. 46, paraphrased) has very quickly become incredibly dear to me
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Realizing I can just block people who go “Sam can’t be queer, he’s cis and straight”
Skin clear crops watered etc etc.
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It's honestly kind of jarring being one of only two queer people at my job, because sometimes I'll see people who are obviously, visibly, unabashedly queer and mention it to one of my non-queer coworkers and they're like "why does it matter?" or "i don't care if someone is gay or straight or whatever" or "okay, and?" What they don't seem to understand is that I'm not being judgy when I point it out. That's nothing but queer joy babey.
A trans boy who's experimenting with hair dye and oversized hoodies and new names and has currently settled on a video game character? We love to see it.
A gay elder who has never explicitly told me that he's gay, but wears rainbows all the time, has a little pride pin on his hat, paints his nails, and mentions his gender-neutral "beloved" who loves Rocky Horror and Priscilla Queen of the Desert? Makes me want to cry from sheer happiness.
A woman and her daughter coming in to get library cards, and when I asked how many she'd like on her family account, she replies "three, for me, my daughter, and my wife"? Catch me trying not to burst with euphoric squealing at the circulation desk.
When I point these people out, it's because I'm happy to see them! I'm glad these people can live authentically and contentedly and that we can run into each other. I"m glad there are closeted people who can see the visibly queer folks and maybe get that little extra bit of confidence to live the way they want. I'm glad we don't have to hide!
Basically, I live and breathe that panel from Fun Home.
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Why do you think Frank gets so little attention from the fandom at large?
although I don't fault anyone individually for not having interest in a given character, I do think it's pretty sad that not much mind is paid to frank. it's not the best metric to measure things by, but on AO3, frank has the fewest fanfics of the prophecy 7 by a pretty wide margin.
there's no point in comparing him to the likes of percy, annabeth, and nico, who have existed for way longer, but the lost hero trio have well over 10k works for all three individually, while hazel has 8.7k (her popularity is surely bolstered by her relation to nico, the second most popular pjo character on ao3) and frank has about 7k. interestingly, will solace has over 15k fics--and that of course has to do with the popularity of solangelo (the second most popular pjo ship on ao3, as you see above), but considering how recently tsats came out (and how little material/information about him existed before that), I still think that number is pretty remarkable.
with all of this in mind, here are some of the reasons why I think frank doesn't get a ton of attention from the fandom below the cut.
- part of it probably has to do with shipping. while frazel is a well-accepted canon ship, I don't think it actually garners a ton of real interest. when a pairing is very popular, its individual parties will inevitably share that popularity; i.e., will solace, as observed previously. furthermore, frank doesn't really have any popular non-canon ships. online fandoms heavily favor mlm pairings over any other kind of pairing (this is just a very neutral, well-observed fact, so I hope no one is bothered by this acknowledgement), but if a male character is not popularly shipped with other men, they tend to fall to the wayside. to be honest, I think it's a little surprising that frank/leo doesn't get more favor; maybe it's because people just don't like to acknowledge the love triangle they were in, but the enemies-to-lovers material that people usually enjoy is right there, you know? jason/leo is fairly popular on tumblr at least, but no one really ships its SoN counterpart percy/frank either, which is interesting.
- part of it probably has to do with the fact that, compared to others, frank does not appear to be a very angsty character. fandoms tend to prefer characters who have tragic backstories and/or highly-animated personalities, and while frank undeniably has his individual struggles, they probably seem quite small compared to the bulk of the principal cast. for reasons like this, a lot of people will likely tell you that they don't find frank (or his powers) very interesting, and prefer to devote their attention to other characters.
- part of it probably has to do with frank (in my opinion) being neglected by HoO books. I wish he had gotten to do so much more! but of the things that he did do, I don't think many people consider them to be very memorable.
- I think there's also no point in ignoring the fact that frank is a chubby POC, and well, these types just aren't often so beloved by fandoms. that his only popular ship is with another POC probably doesn't help matters, to be honest...! it's just a well-documented phenomenon that, unless they're anime characters, POC characters and POC x POC ships tend to be much less popular in online fandoms than their white counterparts (i.e., 2010s star wars comes to mind). of all 10 percy jackson POV characters on ao3 (I'm including will in this figure and excluding apollo, who I consider an outlier), piper, leo, hazel, frank, and reyna make up the bottom 5 in that order in terms of popularity. this page is a great resource for more data on race, queerness, gender, etc on ao3. (unrelated - fascinatingly, percabeth is the 8th most popular m/f ship on ao3 of all time, and jiper is 96th!)
that's just my two cents as to why I think frank doesn't get a ton of attention. I hope no one is upset by my observations, I mean all of them in a pretty neutral, analytical way. to anyone else reading this, here is a reminder that character hate and ship hate is not tolerated on this blog. if you post unkind things, your comments will be deleted and your account will be blocked. we don't need to bash other characters or ships in order to uplift others. save it for your own blogs, please!
thank you for asking and engaging with this blog!
-demigodpolls
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Happy Friday!
As Friday is a day to honor Lady Aphrodite, every week I like to create a post similar to this, where I talk about a certain topic and have questions for you to share or think about. Last week’s post can be found here. As always, this may not apply to everyone.
Today’s Topic: Aphrodite and Being Queer
Tumblr is known for being a very queer app, so I wouldn’t be surprised if many who see this are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m going to refer to us a “queer” instead of the acronym because it’s long lol.
Lately, as there has been more acceptance and representation for queer people, more and more have been realizing they’re queer. We have always been here, but we are more and more seen and loved than we have been in the past.
Lady Aphrodite has always been a queer goddess. She is a goddess of love, and that means all love, whether that means love between a man and a woman, to two people of the same gender, to more than two in a relationship, to queerplatonic love, or any way that love can be experienced. In addition, She can be seen as trans or intersex with Her form of Aphroditos, someone with a “feminine” shape and “male genitals”.
Many, including me, see Her with more modern labels of queerness. In communication with Her, She has shown Herself to be transfeminine, pansexual, and polyamorous (completely UPG, not a belief everyone will share and She may use different labels or none at all if you ask Her).
Because of Her domains and how She is perceived, many of Aphrodite’s beloved followers and worshippers tend to be queer. Not all of them, of course, but many. For an example that is not modern, take Sappho, the poet where the term sapphic comes from. She often mentioned Lady Aphrodite in her poetry.
In my experience and the experiences from others that I’ve heard about, Lady Aphrodite helps a lot with identity and who we are. I know She’s helped people with internalized queerphobia, navigating relationships whether queer or not, embracing gender identity and expression, and much more.
I love our queer Goddess so much 🫶 I chose this topic in particular for this week as I’ve been struggling with being perceived as female lately. Usually I don’t care how people see me, I know nobody will use my pronouns irl so I just don’t care but I’ve been dressing feminine because I like it and have been getting more feminine comments and I knew that would happen and that that’s what happens when I present femininely but it sucks :/ (sorry for the little vent y’all)
Today’s Question
Does Lady Aphrodite appear queer to you in some way? If you are queer, has She helped you with that somehow?
Challenge
Be a good ally to others in the community or just the community in general. This includes those you don’t understand or think are “weird”. Ally is a verb, not an adjective.
Thank you all for reading this and happy Friday! As always, please think a little bit about the questions and feel free to share your answers if you choose! I will share my answers in a reblog as always.
To anyone who sees this, may you notice love and beauty all around you.
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As someone who isn't the biggest Hermione fan and keeps it quiet because greater fandom LOVES her, I'm honestly gagging for more of your Hermione takes. Especially your takes on fanon Hermione, who I can't STAND. Have a good one x
thank you very much, anon - there are dozens of us!
hermione is certainly the character i struggle to find common ground with the most - and this has been the case since i first read philosopher's stone as a child.
[which has actually been a really fascinating pop-culture experience - i think we tend to overlook, both because the media landscape and its representation of child and teen girls has changed since the 1990s and because of jkr's increasingly harmful views on gender, just how groundbreaking hermione was as a female protagonist in media which wasn't marketed primarily or exclusively towards girls. there is a reason why so many girls and women identified with her when the books were coming out - and it was very interesting for me growing up to not be one of them.]
the cause of my beef with hermione is for the incredibly petty reason that i find people who possess many of her more... striking traits quite difficult to deal with in real life, particularly if they don't acknowledge [which people in the hermione vein often don't...] that these traits are things it might benefit them to work on in their interpersonal relationships...
but this doesn't prevent me recognising that canon!hermione [and any real person like her] is interesting - and that her more annoying traits work well with her more straightforwardly admirable ones to create a fully-rounded character who, from a fanfiction perspective, is a great vehicle for all sorts of tropes, themes, and storylines.
which brings us - of course - to fanon!hermione...
fanon!hermione is, at her core, another brick in the wall of mary-sues. she's beautiful, and so clever she can solve millennia-old puzzles without batting an eyelid, and she's preternaturally emotionally intelligent, and she's morally spotless, and she's always right, and the story's preferred romantic partner worships the ground she walks on, and anyone who doesn't like her is punished.
i don't think - to be clear - that there is anything wrong, per se, with people wanting to write fanon!hermione [nor, to be frank, with other flawless fanon versions of female characters, oc mary-sues, or self-indulgent self-inserts - i'll defend the right to have fun with characters to the death]. this is a hobby, and people's way of engaging with that hobby doesn't have to appeal to me - it's fun escapism sometimes to write a character who is wonderful and perfect and beloved and has a sexy partner; and when it comes to accusations of writing someone "out-of-character", let she who is without sin cast the first stone...
but i also think - and [sigh] here comes some discourse - that fanon!hermione is part of a slight... girlbossification of female characters in the harry potter fandom [and presumably in others, i just don't follow closely enough to know] which i've always been a little uneasy about.
i understand why this happens - this fandom, like many, has an overwhelming preference for making blorbos of male characters and for imagining these characters in slash relationships. the treatment of female characters in slash subfandoms - i.e. tonks in wolfstar spaces; lily in jegulus spaces - is often straightforwardly misogynistic, and even in cases where it isn't, female characters are often shuffled quietly to the sidelines, except when they pop up - often suddenly in a queer pairing of their own - to benignly cheerlead the male couple.
and i think it's good that this is challenged - as i also think it's good that the heteronormative vibes of a lot of slash are challenged - and that we, as a fandom, are increasingly interested in female-centric works [whether focused on a romantic pairing or otherwise] and discussions. i hope these continue to take up fandom space.
but i have also noticed that the way female characters are written and talked about in these context is - as i've said - quite #girlboss in its approach. the focus is on women as clever and competent and feisty and unruffled and brave.
[including female villains, there are a lot of girlboss bellatrixes knocking around...]
and great! it should be! - but from what i've seen this also comes accompanied by a resistance to the idea that women can also be boring, unintelligent, self-infantilising, vain, arrogant, ignorant, talentless, meek, domestic, rude, dislikable, conservative, incurious, complicit in their own victimisation, plain wrong, and so on, and not only still be worthy of exploration, but be worthy of these characteristics not being automatically considered bad things for someone to possess and it not being seen as letting down the sisterhood to explore a woman who possesses them.
and, sure, hermione cannot be described as many of these things - but she is...
self-righteous; cruel; petty; from a privileged class background in the muggle world which blinkers her understanding of the class structure of the wizarding one; stubborn; terrible under pressure; shown by the text to be intelligent largely due to an ability to rote learn; a people-pleaser with a tendency towards a slightly hagrid-ish blind loyalty; extremely deferential to authority and willing to tolerate cruel treatment from authority figures [i.e. snape]; the most childlike of the trio [she takes her schoolbooks on the run and reads through them for comfort! she's an enormous animal lover!]; interested in one of form of stereotypical femininity [knitting! wearing pretty dresses!] even if she rejects the form of stereotypical femininity liked by e.g. parvati and lavender [and anyone who thinks she's not going to get along with her mother-in-law because molly's a housewife is dead wrong - she's having the time of her life helping put together a sunday lunch at the burrow]; possessed of a filthy sense of humour [i will never understand why emma watson said that the key to playing her was to be prim...]; someone who obviously wants to be liked and to be loved; and so on...
[and also, by the end of the pre-epilogue narrative, eighteen. she's often written in fics in a way which makes her sound like she's seen a lot of life - especially if the fic wants to claim she's "too mature" to bother with men her own age... but she hasn't - she's a teenager, and the reason she's so unpolished and abrasive is because literally all teenagers are unpolished and abrasive. it's just one of the mortifying agonies of growing up.]
we should love this. it makes her thorny and messy and mixed-up and human - and i am perfectly delighted by explorations of her character which delve into unravelling this tangle.
i just like her less as someone who is there to be right and beloved and uncriticised.
unless it's by ron. everyone should be uncomplicatedly adored by their wife guy.
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I want to talk a little more on this topic of TERFs in art history.
Back a couple of years ago when I came out as trans on here I was surprised at all the hate messages I received. From terfs calling me the usual gender traitor, a confused woman- too old to be trans lol & a lot of other worse things. & a bunch just flooded my inbox announcing how they were disappointed in me & were unfollowing. 🙄
And I was confused why there were so many following me in the first place - after all I was queer- I loved & supported trans folks like how could they have found a home here?
But I unknowingly had been entrenched in terf & radfem ideology in art history I couldn’t see through it. I realized very quickly that Art History is home to a ton of TERFS.
My beloved professors (a few but not all) told us without a doubt that women artists were abused, they were denied, they were ignored, because they were women. They women artists were innately better artists, they had more complex things to say in their art and were more talented at saying them. They were pure, perfect, their stories mattered more than male artists. And history forgot about them so it was our duty to learn and share their work.
These professors would also say that male artists were innately violent, and their art could only ever objectify women. That you could tell an artists gender from heavy aggressive brushstrokes (if they were cis male) or if they were reclaiming their feminine voice with powerful strong brushstrokes (if they were a cis woman) - despite looking like the same exact brushstrokes
How women in art had an almost mystical like understanding of color and form in ways that her male colleagues couldn’t understand
One of my professors who was the loudest radfem taught feminist art history, art in the mid-century, and a couple other classes I forgot. (It’s been like 10 years now) She gave lecture after lecture that the art world was a boys only club. And therefore innately bad and malicious towards women artists. She worked for Helen Frankentaller!! Of course I was going to believe her!! I was paying to learn things from someone who should have been a trusted source why would I have to question them
It wasn’t until I critically listened to what I was repeating that I understood how wrong her views were. How deeply seeded terf ideology was in the art history world.
So those of you persuing art history- think critically & know that the field has unfortunately been a magnet for terfs for a while.
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Being a physically disabled Dimension 20 fan breaks my heart sometimes
I’ve been thinking about this since last Wednesday’s episode when we finally got a real scene with Lydia, one of the few physically disabled characters in the entire canon of the show. It was nice, but it was really just a lore dump. An excuse for exposition. A moment for Kristen to look good by expending sympathy/pity. (I’m a little frustrated about how that interaction went down. Extending the help action was nice but patronizingly touching the neck of a full-ass adult without consent was not. It was weird and not something she would have done to a nondisabled character).
I have watched almost all of D20 (still missing a couple of seasons) and as far as I know here’s where our list of canon physically disabled characters stand: Lydia Barkrock, Jan de la Vega (who feels pretty problematic to me, maybe more on that in a later post), one of the Dwarven statues in the temple in The Seven (who is not given the dignity of being brought to life like Asha), and Pete’s coworker in TUC2 who is in exactly one episode and is so unimportant I have forgotten his name. I guess you could make an argument that Gunny is disabled, but I don't feel that Lou or Brennan really talk about him or play him through that lens. So in terms of canon physically disabled PCs-- that leaves us with 0.
We do a bit better with neurodivergent characters and characters with mental health problems; Ayda (my beloved) is very well developed and Adaine is a PC. There have been some openly neurodivergent players, like Omar and Surena, whose characters also read ND to me. But that isn’t labeled or discussed in canon, so it's hard for me to know where to class that. I am going to focus the rest of this post on physical disabilities, since that is my area of lived experience. If another fan wants to write about their perspective of neurodivergence rep in the show, I would love to hear that, and will happily amplify.
There has never been a character with a sensory disability or a limb difference or a chronic illness (not a fantasy one, a real one) on Dimension 20. The only NPCs we have are nondescript, similar wheelchair users. And there has never been a physically disabled player at the table. On the flagship show of Dropout, a company founded on diversity and inclusion. It feels extremely pointed to me.
In fact as far as I can tell there has only been one (1) physically disabled performer on any of Dropout’s shows. (Shout out to Brett, you were great on Dirty Laundry.) Obviously I haven’t seen every episode of everything they have produced. If I have missed someone, please do let me know in the comments/reblogs. But it’s a problem. And Sam Reich even agreed with this criticism when I asked him directly about.
I do really hope they’re working on it, as Sam says. But why has it taken so long?
Dimension 20 has had trans and nonbinary and queer players. It has had players of many different races. I’m not saying that the diversity here is perfect; there should always be more POC in the dome, more queer people. We should keep pushing for that. (And we should also push for performers at the intersections of these identities!) But we’ve seen the ways this diversity has expanded and improved the different seasons, because diverse players create sensitively drawn, diverse player characters. They add details to their PC’s experiences that make them feel rich and alive. I’m thinking about each of Ally’s PC’s incredible capital G gender and Aabria “all my characters (even the stoats) are Black” and how excellent they all are. D20 would not be the show it is without this input.
And yet. And yet.
There are 1,000 interesting and complicated themes to explore around disability. Dealing with access. Dealing with ableism. Dealing with compassion and community care. Dealing with none of it and just being a cool fantasy or sci fi character that happens to be disabled. We don’t get any of it.
I watch my favorite show and I see myself in the ace rep and the female characters. But I don’t see all of me. I see a silent but ever present message: you aren’t quite welcome here.
I have this fantasy that I play in my brain sometimes that someday I’ll get to talk to Brennan in person, like maybe if I buy a VIP ticket and risk Covid to go to a live show or we run into each other on the street or something. I am able to look him in the eye and articulate why he NEEDS to include a physically disabled player in an upcoming season. I reference the ways he’s talked about inclusion and writing diversely on Adventuring Party. Maybe I hand him a handwritten letter, or hell, a printout of this post. And because he really cares about diversity and his shows and his fans he would listen to me, and cast a physically disabled performer in the next season.
But I think that might be giving that nondisabled man (whose work I adore, who I respect so much) too much credit. Because he’s had Jennifer Kretchmer, a physically disabled actual play performer, on adventuring academy to talk about access in gaming. He’s hired disability consultants. He knows about physically disabled people, enough to give us shoutouts as inconsequential npcs. And he still hasn’t thought to include us at the table. In over 20 seasons. None of that other stuff matters if we aren't given a seat at the story telling table, and the agency to craft our own narratives equal to other participants in the game.
When Lydia was telling her story in the last episode, I kept wishing for a prequel, where she is more than a plot delivery device and a kind but unimportant parent. I want to know about her adventures with her adventuring party. I want to see a talented, wheelchair-using actor play out the scene when she decides to put the gem in her chest. I want to hear about what happened after. I want to know how she survived. I want it so badly it hurts.
I am in the process of trying to find new indie actual plays that feature more disabled talent. I am learning how to GM myself so I can tell these kinds of stories. But it’s not the same as being a fan of something. Sometimes I don’t want to have to make my own representation. Sometimes I just want to turn on my favorite tv show, the one that I have cosplayed from and written metas about and loved whole heartedly, and see myself included.
If you’re another disabled or neurodivergent fan I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re not, I’d love for you to reblog this. I would love for the absence of physical disability in this show to be a topic of fandom conversation, at the very least.
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Who, me?
Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm Anthusiast, Ant, or perhaps Felix. Not as far as legal documents are considered, but what are you, a cop?
Yours truly is a queer in a homophobic Hellhole, so, yes, I am Gay AND European. I'm a he/they/it bisexual with some gender fuckery going on. You can honestly tell all this simply thanks to the fact that I look like the mafioso of the Alphabet Mafia if it was a real Mafia.
I either talk like this, this being the most pretentious Fuck to grace this Plane of Existence, or like God's silliest, most pathetic, whimsical plaything. I tend to monolouge, rant, or both.
I have quite a few obsessions interests!
Writing! I write poetry and about my WIP. I even have a Masterlist!
Blood, flesh, and the cannibalistic, anthropophagical consumption of it.
Insects, especially ants!
Roleplay and acting. I also highly enjoy Systems, so I adore TTRPGs. Pathfinder 2e and DnD 5e are personal favs.
bideo bames. I hold a special love for RPG and FPS games. My favs include Warframe, Baldur's Gate 3, and Fallout: New Vegas.
Visual Novels and Interactive Fictions. Cove my beloved.
Mythology and folklore are wonderful. I'm especially big on Greek mythos, but I love all of em. Japanese folk tales might be the most immediately concerning. The Farmer and the Badger, man...
I quite enjoy reading.
My beautiful partner!!!
I enjoy some Media
Books
Grew up on the Skulduggery Pleasant series
A Monster Calls is my favourite ever book. Made me bawl.
Love the Mistborn Series
Absolutely adore the Godkiller series. It legitimately feels tailored for me
Magnus Chase
Demon Road
Shows/Podcasts
Dimension 20
Game Changer
dropout.tv content as a whole
Red vs. Blue (where do you think I got my name?)
Malevolent
In my life and work both I am plagued by these motifs, and thus mention them (too) often
Blood, flesh, scars
Self-harm, self-sacrifice, self-destruction and related tendencies
Gold, talent, being good enough
Ink
Obsession (itself)
God-hood
Sweetness
Familial trauma
I use tags sometimes btw
#signed; fa - writing tag
#Felix's Friends - dedicated poetry tag
#Felix's Fashion - outfit tag
#ant talks ants - insect rant tag
#my flesh eating son and #yeah albion; #maxwell minnhett my son and #maxwell my dear and #maxwell my beloved; #santi my dear thing; #erin my dear; #calixte my sweet little child; #thomas dearest. - oc tags. that I'll clean up. eventually
Lastly, though most importantly, these are the people whom I love with all of my heart
@saphi-everything!!!!
@magnoliasandarson!
@the-lights-are-loud!
@squishykitty825!
@rustycamo!
@sleepy-boy-shit!
@uwathebestgirl!
@118sexen!
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Tagged by @xoxoemynn and @spirker (and @soupbtch literally while I was writing this!!) to share my favorite fics I've written! What a lovely meme!!!
I have sixty OFMD fics published for a total of over 700k words in this fandom (with another 100k at least dropping for AUgust....) and if I listed every one I loved I would be here for hours SO. Let's do a few per category??
THE BIG BOYS
Wanna Fly Away, my collab with Petrichorca, is my most beloved work and the most complex, personal, and honest thing I've written. It's an alien!Stede AU based on the Animorphs universe, and it explores gender and identity and community and what we owe each other and ourselves and. I love it. 180k, E.
The Squssyverse, my collab with @zombee, is 70k of tentacles, worldbuilding, mythology, ocean shit and gender fuckery, and it's one of the richest worlds I've ever been a part of building. Also.... it's INCREDIBLY SEXY. 70k, E
2. THE WEIRD BOYS
I write a lot of monsterfucking and monsterloving because of queer reasons and also it's FUN and it's HOT, so. Here's my favorites of those!
The First Wave, my mer!Stede/Selkie!Ed collab with @nonplayer-character, is full of sweetness and weird bits and my favorite OC i have ever met! 10k, E
A Latent Spring, my tree!Ed collab with @swashbuckling-sweethearts, is weird and wonderful and about what it means to change and grow and also fuck a tree. THE ART IS SO GOOD AND THE MAGIC IS SO FUN. 31k, E
The Curse of Iphigenia, my giant sea god!Ed/mer!Stede fic, was written in 30 wild hours, many of which were at work, and is one of the silliest, most fun universes I've written and i LOVE IT. Featuring a really fun cameo, too. 8.5k, E
Come Hither Gleam is perhaps my most ridiculous fic—Yeti!Stede and Sandman!Ed who also happen to be X-Files style investigators. Also, there's sex pollen. Sort of. 6.7k, E
(if you like these, subscribe to me on ao3 because there is MORE COMING YOUR WAY FOR AU-GUST)
3. HUMAN AUS
Checking it Twice, my learn-to-fuck fic, is my most traditionally kinky fics. Sweet, hot, featuring a list and some lace. 14k, E
Mighty Real, my pride fic, is all about the many different ways pride hits—and how it can kind of hit in all of them at once. Also, dildo parachutes and dick bubble wrap. I contain multitudes. The sequel is also a HUGE FAVE OF MINE. 15.5k, E
Man is a Giddy Thing, a post-apocalyptic radio theatre AU, is one that I love and that some of my favorite people in this fandom say they love best of my work. It's a strange one, but I've very proud of it. 10k, E
4. MULTI-PERSON COLLABS
Choose Your Own Adventure: Reunion! was maybe the coolest project I've been part of in fandom, ever? over forty scenes, 17 authors, SO MANY ART PIECES, and over a hundred ways the story could go. If you haven't checked this out, DO IT. 44k, E
5. CANONVERSE
Take It Slow (Hold Me Close) is a sweet little coda to 2.05, and I think it's one of the best things I've written, actually? 1.6k, T
Um. That's like. only 18% of my fics. I tag @trans-top-stede @swashbuckling-sweethearts @thetardigrape @gaypiratebrainrot @morethanslightly @dracothelizard and @mxmollusca!
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Here’s a 3am Steddie rant I think every Steddie lover (and possibly hater) should hear. I have no goal to convert anyone—just to say that the ship did not actually “come from nothing.” Here’s why:
I don’t understand how there wasn’t Steddie foresight in the writer’s room.
So they play it up in season 3 like Steve just can’t get the girl and when he does she’s not the right girl and yada yada yada—cool beans. I love his character arc with Robin, their friendship, her queerness. I love their entire bathroom interaction.
Specifically: “It’s somebody that I didn’t even talk to in school. Maybe cuz Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be prom king…. First of all, she’s hilarious. So funny. I feel like this summer I have laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time. And she’s smart—way smarter than me…. She’s honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.”
Traits Robin Also Has that Eddie Shares:
Outcast
Band Kid
The Witty Banter
Eddie’s personality is VERY Robin. Not perfectly so, but maddeningly close.
Another point:
This is just the same person in different gender specific fonts, A.K.A. Steve’s “love interest” versus a guy who called him “big boy” completely unprompted and interrupted a tender moment between him and his “love interest” and complimented him for an entire scene while Steve wore his clothes.
So, really, one of them’s Steve’s love interest and the other is Nancy Wheeler /hj.
I write a lot, and as someone who both writes and consumes an abhorrent amount of media, whoever wrote this down, casted and costumed this way, and allowed for the interactions between Steve and Eddie to be as nuanced as they were (EX: the scene in which Eddie steps forward like he has more to say to Steve before he goes off and kills himself) had to have known what was going to happen. There is simply no way of not seeing it.
And if they didn’t want people shipping Steddie at the scale which they do, here’s what went wrong:
First: defaulting to Steve wanting his ex back is just plain shitty writing. It means you don’t know where to go with the character anymore, and since you’re certain he’s done all the growing he can do, he’s just gonna double back to the conflict he was in in the FIRST SEASON.
Are you serious right now, bro?
Steve’s arc as a character has been absolutely heartwarming to watch. If anything, he’d have been better off given the “I need to figure out how to be happy on my own” narrative. Throwing him back at Nancy is a cop out, a big one.
Second: Eddie. Throwing Eddie in the mix was absolutely a WILD decision, because he looks like Nancy, he banters like Robin, and GENDER IS NO LONGER A PLAUSIBLE REASON FOR AN AUDIENCE TO DENY CHEMISTRY, OR EXPLAIN IT AWAY. Not in the year of our lord 2023, no sir. Not unless you’re going to explicitly state in some way to an audience that these characters are DEFINITIVELY STRAIGHT. And with Eddie, they went as far off that course as possible.
The outcast stuff. The D&D stuff. The hatred of the system. The mysteriously living with his uncle and not his parents. THE HANKERCHIEF IN HIS BACK POCKET.
So essentially, this is what they did:
They took a beloved character, flubbed over his character arc because they weren’t sure what to do with it.
Then, they created a SECOND beloved character, made him likable, lovable, even, and relatable. Then they gave him half and half personality and looks of Steve’s last two love interests. Then they gave us scenes of them together where they showed chemistry, genuineness, and playfulness.
Then they EXPECTED that we as an audience had enough heteronormativity left as a society to say—oh, those two guys aren’t flirting with each other even a little bit because they’re two guys and obviously that doesn’t happen.
WHEN IN THE SAME SEASON WE WATCHED WILL AND ROBIN GO GAY PANIC AND DESPAIR LIKE?????
Pick a side pick a side, are your characters fucking gay or is your audience fucking blind?
Point being, I have some friends IRL who don’t really get this. They think Steve and Eddie hardly interacted enough for there to be romance at all, but I think it’s less about how much they interacted and more about the (unintentional) set up they were given by the writers.
Steve’s a truly beloved character and I don’t know on ST fan that wants to see him just end up back with Nancy Wheeler like his entire character arc was just to “get the girl” and “have six kids.” Which he already has by the way.
Anyway, that’s just my two cents. I’m not advocating for anyone to ship them, I’m just saying it’s honestly a perfectly logical conclusion to make, especially if you CARE about Steve as a character, you know? We want him to be with someone genuine, someone who challenges him to be better, to be different than he was. Nancy couldn’t handle doing that. Robin could, but they’re platonic af.
So why wouldn’t it be Eddie?
Rest in peace, by the way. You would’ve loved this text post.
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Fall 2023 Anime Overview: I'm in Love with the Villainess
Premise: Rae is reincarnated as the heroine of her favorite dating sim. But she has no interest in romancing any of the boys- she's head over heels for Claire Francois, the villainess of the game. Claire is horrified to find the major target of her bullying suddenly enjoys it, often pleading "step on me harder". But Rae isn't just here to flirt with Claire- she has a plan to save her beloved from a horrible fate.
I'm allowed to have a problematic gay fave. In fact, I would call it my right as a lesbian. And I enjoy I'm in Love with a Villainess a lot, despite some bumps in the road. It's tropey as all get out and a story that shows signs of having an inexperienced author, but it has real heart to it, it's full of joy, and connects with me in surprising way.
I'll try not to ramble too much, since I'm planning on writing a longer article on this series-- so keep your eyes peeled.
I'm in Love with the Villainess might not always be polished or expertly crafted, but it is very fun and entertaining. Rae ignoring all the male love interests to stan for her mean girl fave is ultra relatable to me, and her gremlin energy is off the charts. Claire is also a super fun character-- if you love ridiculous ojou-sama characters, she is max ojou sama. But she's also hiding a lot of insecurity and of course, a secret soft side-- her character arc over the course of the series is really satisfying.
However, Rae's pushiness might be a sticking point for some. Her worst moments are mostly contained to episode 2 where she does inexcusable things like ogling Claire while she's changing (against Claire's wishes) after having wriggled her way into a position as her maid (against Claire's wishes, though Rae does have secret noble reasons for that one). This is her worst moment and she calms down a bit from there as the story starts to find itself. Her pushiness remains, but gets a bit less uncomfortable as it becomes clear Claire likes her too.
This pushiness clashes a bit with a really interesting thing ILTV does--which is engage bluntly and honestly with homophobia and stereotypes. There's a great moment in episode three where the series. Rae is asked point blank if she's gay, she responds yes. When Claire moves away from her in response, it's pointed out to her that's a form of homophobia, and it's pointed out how screwed up it is to believe anyone who's gay is automatically going to creep on every girl they see. Rae also gently corrects someone who gives her the common "she just happened to be a woman, you're just falling in love with the person right? Your love just transcends gender?" line, (which is a common line that's used to avoid talking about queerness directly in manga and anime) with "no, I'm a lesbian, I only fall in love with women."
And yes, homophobes got big mad at this scene. How dare a yuri anime be gay! I'm in Love with the Villainess does not let homophobic yuri fans feel safe.
It's really refreshing to see a silly isekai series directly engage with stereotypes and lesbian issues like this, and it was a very pleasant surprise when I read the novels.
However, this message is a little muddled by the fact Rae did harass Claire, so Claire has every right to feel uncomfortable around her. The show does acknowledge this. The story makes it clear it knows Claire has a right to distrust Rae and it's her responding badly specifically to Rae saying she's gay is the problem. But it's still very weird to simultaneously have a "gay people aren't automatically predators!!!" coupled with "well also our gay main character does commit a little sexual harassment sometimes".
(Some of this weirdness could have been rectified if the story had character besides Claire act badly to Rae saying she was gay, and have them get the lecture, since the point was supposed to be that gay people don't hit on every member of the same gender they meet...but again, that point falls flat if the lecture recipient is Claire, since Rae has already been hitting on her).
I don't really begrudge the author this- Inori was obviously just engaging in the unfortunately typical anime tropes, but also decided to also use her story to passionately educate about and defend gay people and couldn't quite reconcile the dissonance. However, it is very "have your cake and eat it too".
But ILTV does do a very interesting thing with the common anime trope of the overly demonstrative lesbian character who does wacky hijinks and declares her love in a "funny" way. Rae reveals she's so used to being treated badly and rejected by friends and crushes for being gay that she treats her feelings as big joke as a defense mechanism. Because she’s so used to being rejected for her sexuality, she’s given up on earnestly pursuing Claire from the beginning. She doesn’t think she has a shot and she doesn’t want to risk being rejected. However, if she’s loud and obnoxious about her love for Claire, the inevitable rejection doesn’t hurt so much.
She makes it so Claire’s rejecting her for being a weirdo, not because she’s gay. If it's a joke, then when everyone laughs at it and dismisses it, it doesn’t hurt…and she can still be honest about and open about being gay. She can fool even herself and stay around Claire without any of that heartbreak and awkwardness that destroyed relationships the other times she confessed her love.
Rae's arc throughout the show is overcoming her assumption that Claire would be happier with a man and there's no point in earnestly courting her. She's so used to being degraded, she thinks it's impossible she could give Claire a good life and impossible that her real feelings will be accepted.
It doesn't excuse Rae's actions, but it does make her a very interesting character, and one that's meaningful to me as a lesbian. It adds surprising depth to a usually tired trope.
There's also some other interesting aspects of the anime, like how Rae simps for Claire but doesn't simp for her classism. She often gently challenges her on it, and the "commoner uprising" plot, while pretty weirdly paced and (temporarily) resolved, does treat the commoners sympathetically. Considering how other kinds of isekai regularly excuse shit like buying slaves, it's nice to see one that very much sympathizes with marginalized.
Though the commoner uprising plot does lead us to the other huge caveat with the anime- incest. Yeesh. There's a plot twist where it's revealed that side characters are in an incestuous relationship, and they're treated as tragic and sympathetic, they have a love that cannot be accepted, etc. The anime makes this worse by having Rae say "homosexuality isn't the only kind of forbidden love", which (unintentionally?) equates queerness and incest, which is something homophobes often do too. (The novels aren't innocent either, Rae laments "Why can't people be free to love who they want" at one point in a way that less explicitly equates the two things). However I was able to stand this because it's mainly executed as a plot twist. We don't get any details about the character's relationships, we barely see them even stand next to each other, and they're out of the plot fairly quickly. I can absolutely see this being a deal breaker for someone less numb to anime bullshit through.
And finally, a character comes in who acts fairly manipulative and skeezy towards Rae herself, though the drama she does stoke is great stuff.
So yes, I mean it when I say it has problems! But I find the fun shenanigans, blatant lesbian wish fulfillment, honest advocation for queer people, and the joy and earnestness of the series worth it enough I can grit my teeth through it all. It should also be noted that Inori, the author, is a trans lesbian, and that's another big reason why this is so special to many people-- it's a lot easier to forgive a new author for some uneven writing when she has a stake in telling queer stories.
The anime is obviously one that doesn't have a lot of resources (and I missed some of Rae's interior monologue, which gets more into what a nerd girl she is) but it does a decent job with what it had (though I would have liked it to condense or cut some of the magic duels and Rae doing harassment to focus more on the stories strengths, but alas). I have my fingers crossed for a second season, but the yuri don't tend to get those, so I'm not holding my breath.
Is ILTV's pacing sometimes weird? Yes, the commoner uprising doesn't get as much attention as it should. Is it sometimes clumsy? Oh yes. Do I still get a joy like no other when Rae kicks aside the screen prompting her to choose a male interest to yell for Claire instead, or when she fantasizes about herself and Claire being warriors together? Hell yes.
ILTV is often silly, often flawed, but you know what, queer people get to have our silly, flawed, but still occasionally touching stories as well. Straight people have has a monopoly on it too long. It's not a series for everyone, but it's a series that spoke to some struggling queer people regardless, and it's a series that makes me smile, and that's all that matters at the end of the day.
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User: kye
Status: fangirling over my characters on repeat
Message: hello kids. i love random ass asks and dms, if i dont answer i am mentally ill. my tags im putting here. i appreciate tone tags a lot! gendered terms are cool with me (except man/woman, unless used in a common phrase like "freed man"). cool with terms of endearment - i tend to use them alot. dont do chain asks really, i like tag games but may not do them just cuz but i love being tagged. if you dont read the rest of this bye NERDS
Entering database . . .
May be: Virus . . .
Depersonalization_Derealization.exe
[error; this field was left blank]
Text_Faces.pdf
:/ and :l faces are illegal on my blog sorry, my ex pavloved me and they make me get panicky
The_Kids.pdf
yeah. yeah i write. i love my kids. if you wanna read my queer ass scifi just ask me, its a google doc but ill add you if were moots !! see more about my children here
Available Files . . .
Bears_in_Trees.mp3
they fix me. that is all. also how to build an ocean. that is all. i am insane.
Car_Seat_Headrest.mp3
so me rn. its not okay
Cavetown.mp3
yeah pretty much
Dungeons_and_Dragons.exe
i made dnd club at my school and im very proud of it. also TRYING to run curse of strahd right now so yeah
Ghosts.mp4
sasappis my beloved. he could do things to me
Good_Omens.mp4
i want someone to kiss me like crowley kissed aziraphale. okay thanks bye
Grishaverse.pdf
my current obsession. soc my beloeved. i love wylan and nikolai and i want to be kaz for some strange reason. also milo is my favorite ever
Hazbin_Hotel.mp4
radioapple is my favorite. also vox. hes so pathetic. thats all.
Marauders.pdf
i havent even read any fanfiction just yeah. i mostly stick to jegulus and wolfstar but also any ships within them ill entertain i just dont really know the other characters
Naethan_Apollo.mp3
hes so pretty. and so baller.
NOAHFINNCE.mp3
hes like my alex fierro moodboard fr
Osemanverse.pdf
not sure why this wasnt on here before but yeah osemanverse. lister and aled and georgia and pip and charlie and Yeah
Our_Flag_Means_Death.mp4
stede. jim. frenchie. oluwande. blackbeard. buttons. im not through s2 yet so no spoilers ive miraculously managed to avoid any
Rainbow_Kitten_Surprise.mp3
yes. yes. matchbox. and also. yes.
Riordanverse.pdf
i love leo and nico and percy more than is healthy. i die for pjo and hoo and magnus chase, working on toa. also. cabin 7
Scott_Pilgrim.mp4
only watched spto but were getting there. anyway boys making out amirite
Stardew_Valley.exe
shane. and sam. yeah. als abigail and a little sebastian and some harvey and dubbfvlibf
[End of introduction. Please proceed.]
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