#my parents would read through my text messages and then get mad at me for being into creepypasta lmao

[moon-bun-bun]

I'm gonna ramble about my creepypasta AU from like 2012-2014ish I used to rp with a friend over my flip phone bc we where GENUINELY just insane <3

Some key things to keep in mind: we didn't really watch marble hornets at this time so masky and hoodie where (unfortunately) very much old fanon the rare few times they showed up. A lot of this AU was influenced by old deviantart web comics, mainly Pasta Monsters and The Seer. And lastly, we where like 12 when we made this so don't expect high art 💀 you're allowed to laugh bc genuinely it's so awful

This AU MOSTLY was centered around our OCs (of course). Mine was Banana, a repurposed warriors OC 💖 of course in usual middle schooler fashion, she was immortal and couldn't die, and she knew every single creepypasta amd everyone knew her and she was some special proxy y'all know the deal, if I remember to draw her again I'll rb or something with her bc I still love her dearly <3

Some key things abt this AU that I can remember off the top of my head in no specific order:

- Slenderman didn't have a mansion, he instead had an entire castle?? I have no clue why we decided a castle but that's what he had

-no one but slenderman lived in this castle. Not even his proxies, everyone else has their own houses, except Banana who has a big tree that grows diamond fruit

-how do people not fond a massive castle out in the forest? Easy. It's not in the forest, there's an entirely seperate realm they all live in and you access it by a random portal in the woods

-we genuinely deligated Masky and Hoodie to just sorta babysitting this portal. Actual proxy work? Never heard of it, they just watch a portal for days on end. Expect Masky sometimes, he got to babysit Banana because she caused ✨️problems✨️ constantly. We very much characterized his as the shy uwu nervous Masky the entire time

-proxies got their special proxy names Via warriors cats naming ceremony, we had a moment with another OC that was an extended rp of this moment. I do not know how we talked abt it like it was the most serious and genius thing in class the next day

-Jeff was one of the most prominent characters, he did not like Banana what so ever and she at some point made it her life goal to be the most prominent nuisance in his life. Multiple times as some form of punishment for both of them causing some issue or just fighting in general, Slenderman would make them go live together in the human world as normal people in suburbia or some shit. This happened VERY often and I choose to still use this plot point as the set up for conversations and jokes about them to this day

-the neighborhood they lived in was completely oblivious to the fact that these where two known serial killers, EXCEPT one of their neighbors who was hell bent on exposing them. No one believed her ever.

-how do they live as normal people? Tbis is where the pasta monsters influence comes in, I believe it was called an illusion form in that comic? Whatever it was called, that's the logic we used. Jeff looked like a Normal Guy and Banana instead of being a cat, was in fact a human girl, who for whatever reason we decided kept getting mistaken for some random orphan girl named Daisy

-despite this AU taking place in (at the time) modern times, old times orphanages and asylums where still in operation and was another very prominent plot point we used (to the extent of the knowledge we had as 12 year Olds of these places) banana and Jeff ended up in the asylum in padded rooms and straight jackets a lot

-this has no bearing on the plot what so ever but I know we referred to the police as "the popo" and ONLY the popo for the entire duration of the rp. All 2 or 3 years of it.

That's all I can think of at the moment, there's. A lot more that I'm missing here and whenever it crops up I'll just rb with more details or smthn bc I genuinely rlly like just putting whatever the hell we where on into words 💀💀

[stsgooo]

Look at Him.

✩࿐ summary: your attempts at reentering the dating scene is foiled by your ex-husband.

warning(s): past relationship, clingy!gojo, ex-husband!gojo, co-parenting situation, crack fic. wc; 1.6k

pairing(s): gojo satoru x fem!reader

a/n: this is purely just a goof fic because i've put nothing but angst out there so far sooo have a laugh. hope yall enjoy :3

“So, what do you do for a living?”

"A teacher."

"Oh, wow! What grade, subject?"

"Uh, highschoolers and the subject kinda varies on the day."

"Like a substitute teacher?"

"Um....sure, yeah! Substitute teacher."

"That's awesome. Mad respect, kids can be demons."

You were quickly discovering that the dating field had changed in the five years that you had been married. An endless back and forth about what someone did, what's their favorite color, what's their hobbies. Boring questions that you would ask your students on the first day was used in over the table date conversation. Until, until, they got to that question they so desperately wanted to ask.

Would you want to take this back to my—

There was a vibration against your thigh as your date started to go onto a monologue about how much he disliked kids. In all honesty, you couldn't really remember his name. The introductions had been awkward and a little nerve wracking— you were almost sure he had no idea who you were either.

You tugged your phone out of your pocket and resisted the audible sigh that threatened to leave you when you saw the notification.

Satoru please tell me why my beautiful, radiant, amazing, intelligent daughter just said her mommy is on a date. feeling sick to my stomach, don't tell me this is true.

You rolled your eyes. Your ex-husband had always been so overdramatic. His main focus was always on the bit that could come from a situation. However, this was a quality you do used to admire about him. His ability to make any situation seem like it was a funny happenstance that you'd never encounter again.

Now, it was nothing more than a nuisance.

Satoru oh my god, you left me on read. it's true. it's true. i hope you know i just threw up. i threw up everywhere. i might die. at least, tell me he's ugly. please god let him to be ugly.

A sigh, you typed out the quickest message you could without your date asking what's wrong.

You I hope you're not ignoring said daughter to ask me about some date. I'll be home later, please refrain from texting me.

You were about to set your phone down when another text came through. This one appeared to more distraught than the last.

Satoru o h your tone. it's over. it's really over. i might just kill myself this is the worst night of my life. y/n, i'm genuinely feeling sick. please, is he ugly? he must be boring because you're texting back.

You were almost inclined to remind Satoru you both had been divorced for a year already. That this was bound to happen and you two had, in fact, spoken about it months into the divorce. You had played with some 'what if's and there was a mutual agreement that the other wouldn't get jealous and be dramatic about the other getting in a relationship whenever the time comes. It was a surprisingly adult conversation.

You should've known better when Satoru proudly proclaimed he didn't care who you got involved with.

You Satoru, we talked about this. We're adults and we're divorced. Please bother someone else, like Suguru.

Satoru i don't wanna talk to suguru. i wanna talk to youuu (;﹏;) i can't believe you've done this. ten years. ten years of loyalty. im sick to my stomach.

You You asked for the divorce.

"Is everything okay?"

You eyes snapped up from your phone and towards your date. He had the good grace to be wearing a relatively concerned expression, eyeing you wearily.

You quickly tucked your phone back into your pocket, ignoring the insistent vibrations it gave to smile apologetically. "I'm sorry, my daughter had an accident and I had to, you know, send a quick text to her babysitter." It was easier to explain away a daughter than it was a clingy ex-husband who was well in his dissent into insanity. Really, you were doing this guy a favor keeping him in the dark.

However, his face still paled and he straightened. "You have a kidI'm so, so sorry. I just went on a two minute rant about how much kids are equivalent to demons." He seemed to spiral as he pressed his hands against his face, uttering curses to himself. "I get so nervous with these dates. I truly meant nothing by it."

You smiled in amusement, "It's no problem, really. I'm not exactly disagreeing." He peeked from between his fingers and blinked at you dumbly. "Just because I'm a parent doesn't mean I don't agree. I mean, my kid can be a bit much sometimes. I love her, but she's a lot like her dad in that way."

It always made your chest blossom. The way Saori was a carbon copy of Satoru. From the rambunctious personality, to the piercing blue eyes, and white hair. Your genes hadn't won in the battle, but you were almost grateful. Satoru tried to tell you that she had your smile and your wit, but you weren't entirely convinced. She was Satoru and Satoru was her.

You were extremely lucky that he was a good dad.

"Oh? Do you mind me asking if her dad's still around?" His tone was indication enough: a daughter and an ex of some kind was pushing it for him.

You tensed up, feeling deep regret already. "Uh, yeah." His eyes shifted away and you reached forward, taking his hand. "But, he's not, like, crazy or anything! He's just a good dad."

Your date chuckled nervously. "I-I just don't want to get involved in some, um, some family dynamic."

You thought it was a little presumptuous of him to think this would go that far, or he'd get in the way. But you were too focused on defusing the situation.

"Oh, no, it's not like that! We've got a healthy balance, y'know? He does his piece, I do mine— that's it!"

He scrunched his face. "So... an open relationship?"

"No!" You press your hands against your face with a huff. "No, we're not together anymore. We just co-parent."

He opened his mouth to further question you when your phone vibrated very audibly. His eyebrows raising. "Your daughter?"

You sighed. "Please give me one moment."

With jerky movements, you pull your phone from your pocket. The assortment of messages that came where spread over the ten minutes you decided to ignore him.

Satoru okay, you've got me there. but my big heart is breaking. i hope he's ugly and he smells. okay, i spoke with suguru and he said i'm an idiot who should apologize. in my defense, i'm a little itty bitty drunk. and no, saori is not awake. papa put her to bed before bringing out the whiskey. im so sorry my beautiful deity. that not ugly, not smelly man is so lucky to be in your presence and i hope you have a good date. also i hope he gets hit my a car. (＾▽＾)

You I'm going to kill you with my bare hands. Genuinely, count your days, Gojo Satoru.

Satoru hot, hot, hot!!! (●´□`)♡ did he actually get hit by a car?

You Is there something you want?

Satoru him dead. and you home :((((

You You don't want me home. I swear to god, if you're on my couch, drinking when I get home, I will ruin your life.

Satoru promise??? ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡ but, actually, i wanted to ask your opinion on something

You For real?

Satoru for realsies. [Image Attachment]

Completely blinded by your irritation, you don't even hesitate to open the picture as it loads. Although you regret it the moment it does.

It's a picture of Satoru. He's at what seems to be the beach (must've been the fun activity him and Saori were going to join Suguru for), his sunglasses were on the top of his head, and he was grinning at the picture. One hand was resting against his pectoral and the veins in his hand was prominent. An obvious attempt at being charming and flirtatious. It was working too.

If it weren't for the fact that you knew him and were his ex, you might've just swooned.

"Oh, my god, is that him?" Your date was staring at your phone with wide eyes. His face even more pale than before. He started to shake his head as he stood, snatching his jacket from the back of his chair. "No way. I am not getting involved! I'm sorry, you're a nice woman, but I know when I'm not winning. And I'm definitely not winning against that."

Your eyes widened considerably, "What? No! Please don't leave. He's an idiot, I swear there's nothing—"

"He is... a hunk. I am not. In no shape or form am I at all comparable to that. Look—" He reached forward, grabbing your phone and holding the picture up to be beside his face. "Look at the difference! Model who has won Japan's hottest man at least eight times before he's 30 to me— Look at him!"

"It's not even like that!" You snatched your phone back and stared at him in frustration. "He's my ex, I do not want him!"

He waved his hands in front of your face. "I know how this will go. You think you like me and then your super hot and super sexy ex-whatever makes you realize the familiarity is good. Then I get dumped." He straightened, latching his hands onto the lapels of his jacket. "I just realized I am a side character. In my own life. Goddammit."

He barely glanced at you as he paid for the dinner, then left as quickly as he could. Still, you didn't even know his name.

Satoru oooo taking you awhile to respondddd still in love with me? (人◕ω◕)

[strniohoeee]

GHOSTFACE MATT

What’s Wrong?

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N has never really cared if she was alone or not, but with a recent scare she preferred to be with Matt. However what happens when he doesn’t show up when he’s supposed to, and doesn’t answer his texts?💬

Warnings⚠️: SMUTTTTT, fingering, ermmm mirror kink???, choking (not really though), glove kink?? Idk ENJOY THOUGH??? Love yall fr fr 😼

Song for imagine: Butterflies- Isabel LaRosa

Scared

Adjective

Fearful; frightened

Having the house to myself was nice, but not having any friends did not make it fun. Whenever my parents left town Matt and his brothers would stay with me.

I was never one to be afraid of loneliness, but last week I walked out onto my porch to throw trash away, and was greeted by a bear 10 feet away from me. Let’s just say being alone now has frightened me a bit.

Matt found it funny, but I know damn well if he was in the position of becoming a bear's dinner he’d be scared shitless too. Ignoring his lack of pity I just begged him to constantly stay the night.

Having a 22 year old daughter living at home meant my parents took month long vacations. And I could not go another three weeks without Matt by my side.

Matt left early this morning for a busy day full of meetings and shooting content. I had spent most of the day cleaning like a mad man. So as I stood in the kitchen running my hands through my freshly blown out hair I thought of him. Deciding to give him a call

“Hey babe” He said cheerfully picking up the phone

“Hi baby, I thought you’d be home by now” I said looking over at the clock, reading 10:45pm

“Yeah I’m sorry we got caught up in filming. I’m cleaning up the apartment now and I’ll be over in like 15 minutes” he said shuffling around

“Okay, I’ll see you soon. I love you and drive safe” I said smiling into the phone call

“I will and I love you too baby” he replied before hanging up the phone

Deciding I wanted to watch a movie and eat some snacks I decided on just that. Placing a popcorn bag in the microwave I walked over to the TV and put it on. Scrolling to Max I decided to put on 500 Days of Summer.

Before walking back to the kitchen I walked over to the sliding doors and double checked that it was locked. Sliding the curtains shut. Slightly jumping as the microwave beeped

I chuckled to myself before grabbing the popcorn and a cherry coke. Plopping down on the couch I began to eat my snack as I watched the movie.

Only then when I paused the movie, seeing the time stamp at 30 minutes I began to worry. Matt should’ve been here like 15 minutes ago.

Shrugging my shoulders I decided to text him

Hey baby, hope you’re doing okay? Text me back, you have me worried:(

Receiving nothing back I thought it was strange, but nothing extremely out of the ordinary. Placing my garbage in the can I walked to the sink to wash my cup.

Dumping the ice in the sink I jumped as I swore I heard a thump. Quickly shutting the water off I perked my ears up to listen closely.

But to no avail, so I shook my head and finished washing the cup. As I placed it on the drying rack I heard a thump again.

Freezing I didn’t know what to do. Either there’s a killer outside or a bear and honestly I wasn’t planning on finding that answer out.

Taking a deep breath I walked over to the living room where I left my phone and looked down seeing that Matt still hadn’t answered my message

Getting really worried I went to text him again when I heard the thump against the patio door again.

Clutching my phone close to me I swung the curtains open and flickered the outside light on. Staring outside with shaky hands and a shaky breath I saw nothing. Not even a brush of wind

Letting out a breath and shutting my eyes I turned the outside light off. Standing there staring into the darkness I almost felt silly for being so worked up over nothing.

Suddenly a dark shadow appears in front of the glass door, their hand slams against the glass as their face comes closer. Covered in a ghostface mask.

Not being able to move all I could do was scream bloody murder. The scream startled the person and they scurried to pull their mask off

Revealing Matt with his hands up and yelling through the glass

“It’s just me baby, it’s just me I’m so sorry” He said laughing

Unlocking the sliding the door I swung it open, as Matt was walking in I started to smack him in the chest and arms

“What’s the matter Y/N? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost?” He said laughing as he held the mask above his head while looking down at me

“Why would you fucking do that I thought I was going to die” I said upset and annoyed

“Baby I thought you would’ve figured it was me, I’m so sorry I never meant to scare you like that” he said, sliding the mask off completely and chucking it on the couch.

“Not cool asshole” I said rolling my eyes at him and throwing myself down on the couch

Strolling over to me he sunk onto the couch too,

“I’m sorry baby” he replied kissing my shoulder

“It’s okay, I swore it was that damn bear coming back for my ass” I replied laughing a bit

Running his hand up my leg not realizing his hands were still clad in those leather gloves. My body stiffening a bit as I got a bit intrigued

“I’m really sorry my love, it’s just we bought the costume for a video and I thought I could pull a prank on you, but it was mean” he said giving me a kiss

“You owe me” I replied laughing

Raising his brow I knew he got a filthy idea in his head.

“I know of a few ways” he replied slyly

“Oh yeah?” I replied raising my own eyebrows

Leaning over to kiss me I dodged his kiss and got up, running towards the stairs.

“Hey where do you think you’re going” he replied hot on my tail

“Away from youuu” I replied giggling as I turned swiftly to run up the stairs

Grabbing my ankle before I could get halfway up the stairs I fell to my knees.

“Naughty girl” he replied closing his hand up my leg and gripping my ass

“Please don’t kill me Mr. ghostface I wanna be in the sequel” I replied in a half moan

“I don’t know that you will be” he said lowly

Turning me over to face him he looked down at me as my breathing began to quicken.

Leaning forward we smashed our lips together, one of his arms holding onto the railing as he slowly grinded into me. Moaning against him I allowed my back to arch up a bit.

Sliding his mouth down to my jawline and then to my neck.

“You’re not scared of me are ya?” He replied ghosting his lips over my ear

“No, how could I be” I replied shivering

Smirking at me he stepped over me and began to pull me by my arm. Basically dragging me up the steps. Following him like a lost dog. Basically foaming at the mouth for him

Sitting on the bed he spread his legs and slammed me down in between him. Right in front of our mirror.

“I want you to watch yourself, watch how you tremble for me” he replied breathing heavily

I was so turned on right now I was in complete bliss. My body involuntarily squirming around at his words. Pulling my shirt off of me my breast fell. His eyes never leaving the mirror

“Look how beautiful you are and all for me” he replied as he slowly kneaded my breasts

“Fuck Matt” I moaned bucking my hips

“It’s okay” he whispered in a chuckle

The leather gloves sent chills down my spine.

As he played with my nipples I threw my head back, connecting our lips. Rolling my hips as our makeout became more messy. A string of saliva connecting us once he pulled away

Kissing my jawline down to my neck. Gently kissing me as his hands kneaded my breasts.

“Please Matt I need more” I replied moaning as I stared at his side profile

“You don’t need it, you want it” he replied as he looked at me through the mirror

“Please Matt” I whined

“I like the way you sound when you beg” he replied lowly

Spreading my legs open with his own he held me up by my abdomen with his left arm and slowly slid his right arm up

“Open” he said as his leather clad hand slid up to my mouth, obeying I opened my mouth and swirled my tongue around the squeaky material

Sliding his fingers out he slid them down my body causing me to shiver, and ultimately landed at my waistband of my pajama shorts

“Please Matt please” I said whining now and gripping the bed sheets

Dipping his hand into my waistband he grazed his fingers back and forth before sinking his hand into my underwear.

Immediately the sound of my wet cunt filling up the quiet room.

“Fuck baby, you’re so wet all for me” he said in a whisper

Rubbing his middle and ring finger up and down, my head fell back as my mouth stood open. Curling my toes as he agonizingly slid his fingers up and down

My chest heaving rapidly as I couldn’t form a sentence. Suddenly he sank two fingers into me. My back arching as I moaned loudly

“OH MY GODDDDDD” I moaned out as my eyes screwed shut

The sound of my arousal getting louder as I begged him.

His left hand sliding up around my neck, not to choke me but to hold me. Turning my head to kiss him, our lips interlocked as his fingers moved faster

His thumb rubbing my clit as his finger moved rapidly

“Fuck fuck fuck” I moaned as my jaw fell slack

“Taking me so well pretty girl” he said as his lips laid against the side of my head

Sliding my shorts down he spread my legs even wider as he began to finger me rapidly again.

Looking at us through the mirror I stood there dumbly. My mouth hung open as low moans escaped my lips. Clenching down on him every couple of seconds as I reached closer to my orgasm.

Slamming his fingers in me as his left hand came down to rub my clit

“MATTTTT PLEASEEE” I moaned loudly as I felt myself getting closer

“Come on baby, give it to me” he replied as his breathing became shallow

“Im gonna cum” I replied as my brows furrowed and my mouth fell open

Curling his fingers more and rubbing faster, I felt my body shivering. Locking eyes with him in the mirror as my mouth fell open again.

“I’m gonna-I’m gonna cum” I moaned out in shallow breaths

“Come on pretty girl” he replied as his breathing quickened

Clenching down on his fingers I hunched forward as I began to cum on his fingers. My body was shaking as I held eye contact with him.

Moaning his name repeatedly like a mantra. My mind clouded as I saw sparks. This was one of the best orgasms I have ever had.

Helping me ride out my high Matt planted a kiss on my lips as I started to calm down.

Leaning back I slid off of him and laid face down on him.

“Please dress up as ghostface more often” I replied to him as I was catching my breath

“Ahh so the prank does pay off” he said laughing

“If it ends in that everytime then yes” I said back

“I really am sorry for scaring you though” he said kissing my head

“Don’t even worry about that, let’s head to the shower” I replied getting off the bed

“Round 2?” He asked

“I have to repay my baby don’t I” I said winking at him

Smirking at that he jumped up and followed me to the bathroom.

Let's just say I hope he pretends to be ghostface more often…..

The End

I hated this like a lot actually LOLLL, thank yall for sticking around though🥺🖤. Thank you to the 2,442 followers yall are amazing. I was reminiscing about my 150 followers 7 months ago. You are all so amazing. I’m so glad to be back😼🫶🏽

-J💅🏽

[jillsandwhichs]

Our Future Day's

Joel Miller x Reader series , Chap 5 , Cherished Times

Masterlist

Pairing: F!reader & Joel Miller

Summary: You and Joel spend Friday evening together, you get high and have a great, memorable talk

WC: 3.6k

Type: SFW

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Friday, finally. The day has officially come but it feels like no time has passed since you and Joel, along with little Sarah, had a meal together. That dinner was excellent, it had you contemplating the night you three had the rest of the day and even the past two days. Now, all you've been doing is sitting in your kitchen, at the centered island counter and waiting for Joel to arrive home.

He texted you a bit earlier saying he'd be working later than usual, but by ten, he'll be home. You're still unaware of what it is he exactly has planned for you, but you're excited nonetheless. The idea of actually hanging out with him one on one sounded great, you two haven't been able to do so yet, but finally! You enjoyed being with Sarah, of course, but you and Joel didn't get to engage in topics you wish you could have. Maybe tonight is the night you'll be able to.

Becker was being a good boy too, just laying on the kitchen floor, huffing out to himself. Becker isn't used to being alone as often as he has been, but he'll adapt. You always make sure to leave some lights on along with the television, without some brightness and sound, the dog would go mad. He'd go mental. Sometimes, while you're at work, you'll speak to him through the monitor you bought on Tuesday, just so he feels a tad bit more comfortable being lonely.

Nonetheless, you were on edge about seeing Joel. Before you left his home the other day, he seemed so on the DL about why exactly he wanted to see you on Friday, especially later at night. You didn't care, not at all, but your inquisitive side was surely curious. All you had to wait for was that large, black truck to pull up onto your guy's shared street, then you'd know he's home. You plan to text him before going over there too, not wanting to intrude too early.

Your head quickly turned at the sound of your iPhone buzzing on the counter, shaking as it did. It could only be one person - Joel. You picked up your phone, clicking the power button with your thumb and reading off the notification. It was him, thankfully.

"On my way home now, bring a snack with you or something, a drink or two too."

His message was short and sweet.

You didn't fully grasp why you'd need to bring snacks and drinks though, you two definitely weren't going to a movie theatre, it closes after the last showing and that was damn near an hour ago. But whatever, you suppose, you luckily went grocery shopping recently so bringing some stuff over to his house wouldn't be an issue. You messaged back ASAP, hopefully he wasn't already driving home, no texting and driving allowed!

"Sure thing, but why, if I may ask? Lol..."

You also intended to keep your messages short.

You don't want to seem pushy or obsessive, no man likes that. Joel seemed like the type to not really know his way completely around a phone besides texting and calling and maybe some crappy mobile game he downloaded. The idea that Sarah would use his phone to play silly, girly games was adorable, most parents allow their children too, you doubt Joel and Sarah are much of an exception.

As you put your phone down, you stood up and opened the pantry door right beside you. You weren't all too stocked, you've only lived in Austin for a week, so there wasn't much but you could make due. You grabbed the bag of potato chips along with a box of cheese crackers. They aren't the most healthiest nor the best snacks in the world, but they're very tasty and Joel will most likely eat them. Besides, if he doesn't, you can just walk right back across the street and get something else.

Placing the foods on the counter, you immediately opened the fridge right beside it, scanning what drinks you had. By drinks, you and Joel had different things in mind. He'd obviously prefer a beer, so you grabbed him one, grabbing yourself a soda can. You also placed those beside the snacks.

Snacks and drinks, check, for whatever reason he believed the two of you would need them.

Maybe he planned his own personal movie night for the two of you? You're clueless.

As you walked past Becker, you gave him some quick pets, making sure he felt unconditionally loved. Deep down, you do feel sorrow for him. For the fact he's had to be alone recently, you feel guilty. He'll live though, you always come home to him. You sat down on your comfy couch, your phone in hand. You'd just wait til Joel messages back, or until you hear his car pull in. You didn't want to sit in the kitchen any longer.

-

On the dot, ten at night exactly, your phone buzzed as you received a message from Joel. You waited a couple seconds, per usual, before pressing the message and viewing it. This message was a tad bit longer, you reread it a few times, happy with the fact it was longer than the others he has sent before this. The message read,

"Just got home. Let me check on Sarah, then you can come over, so I would say five minutes. Don't forget those snacks and drinks, just sit on the swing out back, wait for me there, yeah? See you in a minute darlin'."

Such a cute message.

You had already figured he'd check on Sarah first and as he should, he's a wonderful father from what you have seen so far and Sarah appears to be a sweet young little lady, you're grateful to have already met her. You also didn't know until just now that he had a swing out back, that would be fun. At least now you know that a movie night is checked off of the list since you two will be outside rather than in.

Getting up off of the couch, you doubled check to make sure Becker had food and water in his bowl; He'll be a whiney baby without both. You'd try to be home before midnight, you have no clue if you work tomorrow, they told you that weekends would be off and on - You didn't mind. You decided to just message back, letting him know you saw his first.

"Okay, see you soon Joel."

You made sure your phone was strictly set in the back pocket of your jeans, not wanting it to slip out at all. You also grabbed the snacks and drinks, managing to carry all of it in your hands. It was not the most efficient way, but it got the job done and that is all that matters. You chose to just wait on your porch til it was time. "I'll see you soon babyboy." You whispered to Becker, puckering your lips and making a few kissing noises. He just stuck his tongue out and ran back to the couch. "Crazy dog." You snickered out as you opened the front door, then closed it.

Outside, the air felt thin. It was more cold outside than hot, the occasional breeze hitting your face. The sound of crickets and owls could be heard in the distance, along with cicadas which were so very annoying. The other day before you went into work, you found a cicada shell on the hood of your car - Scary. Your phone read 10:03 now, so you began to make way to his place. You'd just have to cut past the fence and into his backyard, then you'd be able to see the swing you have yet to ever see.

As you treaded across the street, out of the corner of your eye you saw a light in his house switch off. You're assuming Sarah's light since it was upstairs, Joel must be making his way down now. Beneath you, you could hear the grass crunching and the sidewalks scratchy, gravel sound. You were almost tiptoeing now, feeling like a teenager sneaking out all over again. But alas, you're a young adult with your actual own free will now. You could do anything - With limits, of course.

You cut through Joel's backyard, taking a glance and scanning the area. He must've meant the swing that was resting on his back porch. It looked cozy and sturdy enough, good on him for choosing it to be where you'd both relax. You strolled up to it, staying as quiet as possible. You don't know if whether or not Sarah knows you're coming over, but in case Joel wants it to be just between you two, you tried your best not to be rowdy. Young girls, especially daddy's girls, can hate to share their father.

You'd understand if Sarah was that way. Not that she'd need to worry, it's not like you and Joel are going out. A child's imagination can fly anywhere, especially one who has a high maturity level such as Sarah.

With a soft sigh, you sat down on the swing. It creaked slightly, the sound was a bit eerie. You sat crisscross, you found it more comfortable that way. You waited for Joel to come out the back sliding door, you waited very patiently. As you waited, you set the food down, along with the drinks, hopefully he'll like what you brought over.

The moon was directly in front of where you were sitting, the sight was gorgeous. Not to mention, stars were scattered all along the sky, taking their places as always. You always preferred the sky either at night or when the crack of dawn strikes. It's always beautiful outside. If it was normal, you'd decide to get married at night, just beneath the dark sky, it would be so lovely. You aren't worried about marriage yet though. You are still in your prime.

Whilst you were deep in thought, you heard the back door slide open. Your head shot towards it, a cute smile playing on your lips when you seen Joel. He smiled back, rather a smirk. "Hey sweet thing." "Hi Joel." You replied, he sounded tired, he probably had a rough day at work. "How are you?" "I'm alright, happy to see you though. How about you?" "I'm okay and me too, been waiting." You chuckled, heaving as he took a seat beside you, the weight of the swing increased.

"How's that dog of yours?" "Becker? Great. Just being his usual self. How's Sarah?" "She's doin' just fine, she was awake when I got home, had her right back to bed." Joel snickered, glancing at the food and drinks you brought. "What did ya get?" He asked you. You turned your head and let out a hum before talking. "I got some chips and cheese crackers. A beer for you, soda for me." You voiced, placing the chips and crackers between the two of you, then handing Joel his beer.

"Ah, smart girl." Joel chuckled, cracking the cold can open and holding onto it. "This is that good kind too." He added on. "Why didn't you get yourself a beer?" "Not much of a drinker, I also plan to sleep once we're done, so." "That's alright, you do you." He shot you a quick grin before sipping his beer again. You wanted to ask him why he wanted you to bring snacks and drinks and why exactly he wanted you here at ten, on a Friday. You were very curious.

"So... Joel," You began, drinking some of your pop. "May I ask you some things?" "Shoot." Joel gave you a friendly nod. You gazed at him momentarily, finding it awfully hard to pull your eyes away from him. He looked roughened up, moreso today than ever. It was attractive to say the least. "First off, why did you want me here, today, at this time?" You wondered. "To be quite frank, it's when Sarah is usually in bed, plus I figured you wouldn't tomorrow." He stated. Reasonable enough.

"Okay and why did you suggest I bring some treats? Was it just because?" "Oh, well, that gets me to my point." Joel chuckled, reaching into the pocket of his well worn, stained jeans. The way he did it was so hot, your eyes kept wandering to places they shouldn't have. He pulled out what appeared to be a thick joint, weed, you were stunned. "Say darlin', you ever smoke?" "I mean, once or twice." Truthful. You smoked somewhat in college, but it was always through a pen.

He laughed at your words, not necessarily believing you. He always took you for more of the goodie two shoes type. "It's been a damn rough week for me, I bet for you too, I figure we light it up and get high, you want to or nah?" He questioned you, his Southern accent really pulling through there. You were surprised, honestly. You didn't take Joel for a smoker, a drinker sure, but not a smoker. You hope he doesn't smoke cigarettes, those are nasty. So gross.

"Gee, I haven't smoked in forever." You giggled, your eyes glaring down the joint, it was a fat one, packed real well. "Did you roll it yourself?" "Bought it off a buddy of mine, he sells, seems to make good money therefore I'd assume good weed too." You can't even recall the last time you smoked. You wish you could for this exact moment. "Can I see it?" "Take it." He passed it to you. You took it, the immediate smell of marijuana flowing up to your nose, it's been awhile for sure.

"Looks good." "It is good, promise." He swore to you. Hell, why not? It's been years and besides, you trust Joel and his words. It won't be bad at all. "Sure, what could go wrong? Do you have a lighter?" "That's my girl, I sure do." Joel snorted, taking the blunt back in between his index and his thumb. "I'll take the first hit, let you know if it's good." You shook your head up and down in reply, you truly trust his opinions. As he lit it up, you decided to be honest. "I've only ever smoked through pens." Joel's concentrated eyes focused on the joint as he spoke, "Oh yeah?" "Yeah."

After the paper and weed caught fire, he pulled it away from the lighter, taking a good gander at it before setting the joint between his lips. Joel took a large exhale in, letting all of it delve into his lungs before he pulled it out, letting the smoke come out through his nose. You watched intently the whole time, somewhat in a trance as you stared at him. You didn't realize Joel could get more attractive, yet here you are, believing so.

He seemed to have enjoyed it, no complaints yet or maybe at all. You are a tad bit timid; It's just you haven't done this in so long. What if it gets to the point where you just cannot stop coughing? That'd be a bummer.

"So? How is it?" "Tastes good, not to rough either, think you'll like it, c'mon, give er a shot." His voice was so soft whenever he spoke to you. Does he speak this way to everyone? "Thanks." You mumbled beneath your breath as you took the blunt. You just chose to wing it. You set the thing between your lips, taking a decent drag and then blowing it out through your lips. The grey, smokey smoke quickly disintegrated, as if it had never existed.

Joel was correct - It wasn't bad at all. Tasted sweet, it was weird. All the weed you had in school tasted the exact same, this was an entirely new world for you. "Good?" "Very." You cleared your throat, handing it back to him. "You take it well." He hummed, hitting off of it again. The way he said that made you melt. Any sort of approval from this man was highly welcomed.

"It's been so long." You chuckled out, watching Joel as he let out the smoke. "I smoke here and there, mainly when Sarah is already in bed, she don't even know I do." "Wow, really?" "Not at all, girl would hound me about it if she did." He snickered, handing it back to you now. You took a graceful hit, not even an ounce of a scratchy feeling in your throat occured. "Man, I'm surprised, usually I am non stop hacking." "My buddy makes some good herb, he's been doin' this a long, long time." Joel explained. "Well, he's good." You smiled, handing it back to him.

You weren't looking at Joel, but rather downwards as you smiled. You found yourself enjoying this evening very much. Any time you come home after doing something fun, it's so difficult to sleep because it is all that's roaming through your mind. You lifted your head back up and noticed Joel's dark eyes were fixated on you, a grin on his face whilst he smoked. "You got a pretty smile." He murmured, maintaining eye contact with you as he took a drag.

You giggled slightly, blushing immensely from his compliment. You hoped that under the dark night, he wouldn't take notice of your rosey, smooth cheeks. "You think so?" "Mhm." He responded, coughing slightly as he passed the joint back over to you. "Thanks." Your eyes twinkled while you stared at him. It was safe to say that around Joel, you feel all sorts of ways. No one back home made you feel like this. It was totally new. You'd never met a man like him, he was different in the most amazing way possible.

Breathing in deeply, you felt the smoke linger in your throat and mouth as it exhaled through your nostrils and out into the windy night air. You shivered slightly, not fully expecting the breeze. Joel took notice of it. "Let me go inside and grab us a blanket, yeah?" "Okay, thank you." You eyed him as he stood up, briskly walking into the house and very shortly after, coming back out. He had medium sized plaid blanket, it'd work for the two of you to share.

"Alrighty." He grunted, plopping back down and covering you up first, then himself. The blanket simply rested on your guy's laps. You two were also sitting quite close together. It was cozy, the two of you all alone beneath the brave sky before you. You were happy you got to experience this. You wonder how your life would be currently if Joel wasn't even your neighbor. Probably be a whole lot different, not as anticipating, that's for sure.

Out of no where, not even a peep to be heard, you began to laugh, uncontrollably. It was absolutely so random. You tossed your head back, your giggles filling the air as you laughed effortlessly. Joel looked at you, a sparkle in his eyes as he did. He knew what was going on. You were stoned, out of this world stoned. Higher than a kite even. You snorted, covering your mouth and snickering. "I can't- I can't stop." You laughed out your words. Joel began to chuckle with you, being able to control himself unlike you.

"You got a case of perma grin. Don't worry, it oughta go away soon." He laughed, his arm around the chair as the swing swung. "Oh my Gosh." You laughed harder, hiding your face in your hands. Joel just kept watching you, enthralled like never before. Oh how pretty he found you to be. "Let it out sunshine." He bellowed, his pearly whites flashing. That was the first time you ever saw him truly let out a smile in front of you.

"Forgive me." You giggled, tears forming in your eyes from how much you were tittering. "That's alright, you got high for the first time in awhile, I ain't surprised." He said softly. You felt his hand touch your shoulder, his arm wrapping around you. You smiled whilst laughing at you scooted closer to him, placing your head on his shoulder. "It's been way too long." "Maybe we gotta do this again another time." "Most definitely." You responded.

You were shocked that he wrapped his arms around you. The warm embrace felt nice, you glady accepted it. Within the proximity of Joel's backyard, you could hear the wildlife as if it were only feet away. The night was rather young and so calm, you were enjoying this more than you intended on. Joel's arm around you was glorious, you felt on top of the world. You wonder everyday how he feels for you. If you're the only one developing feelings, you'll feel like a total fool.

"This is nice." Sure is." Joel replied, slurping some of his beer. "Time is it?" Joel questioned you. You pulled your phone out, it was fifteen minutes after ten. "10:15, guess I didn't realize that much time went by." "Time goes by when you're having fun." Joel stated the iconic saying. He wasn't wrong.

"Wanna come inside? We can continue smokin' in there, or watch a movie, I don't care what it is we do, it's just nice to get a damn break, especially one with you." Joel spoke, you heard him curse to himself beneath his breath afterwards. It was silly, hearing him talk somewhat romantic. You pulled away with a glimmer. "Yeah, of course. I don't think I can do a movie tonight but smoking and eating some of these snacks would be nice." "Great... C'mon now." Joel let you go, standing up and opening the door.

You walked through first, carrying everything. He then walked in behind you.

What a great night so far.

[kiefbowl]

hi sorry if this ask is really long or kind of weird but I just really need some help. There's this guy I met through a mutual (female) friend about a month ago. We got along really good at first and started kind of getting to know each other just as friends, but about a week after we met he kissed me. I didn't really know what to do and so I talked to my friend about it and she was like "Wow that's great you should date him!!" cuz he obviously likes me. I felt really bad so I agreed to date him but ever since then it's been awful. I didn't (don't) like this guy at all and never did, I just didn't want to hurt his feelings, but it's advanced so much I don't even know what to do. I'm 16 and I was a virgin, but he came over to my house with condoms without every having talked to me about it first, and then proceeded to spend the whole day begging to have all different kinds of sex, like giving him head and him giving me head and then eventually full on PIV sex. It was so awful and I didn't want to do it but he was getting mad at me when I was being hesitant and just really really pushing it and I didn't want to cause problems. It was so bad that during it I started crying multiple times but I'm not sure if he noticed. After that happened, we had sex a few more times on a few different days and all of them started with me saying I wasn't really feeling like it, him getting mad, me giving in, and then me ending up puking and crying either during or after. Anyway, now he won't ever leave me alone. He's constantly coming to my house even when I didn't invite him and always begging me to come over to his, and started asking me to skip my after school track + soccer so that we can hangout ("hangout" as in me give him head) and even asked me to quit my job so we could spend more time with each other. He also constantly texts me very very graphic sexual messages and is constantly asking me to send him nudes or sexually suggestive pictures. I've never felt worse and honestly I just want to kill myself. I hate myself so much and I'm just so disgusted but I don't want to cause any problems because my only really good friend is his friend too and it could ruin our relationship. And he knows so many guys at school and I know they'd all hate me and wouldn't leave me alone at school if I tried to break up with him. I tried to break up with him once but he got pissed and screamed at me so much that I just told him nevermind we could still date. I don't know what to do it's only been a month and so much has happened. I'm sorry this is long but I just really need some advice

Please don't apologize for this ask. I really want you to read the words I'm saying with an open mind, and understand that this is an adult responding to you, and that I want to help you, not hurt you.

You have described rape and sexual harassment. You are sixteen, and that does mean you are a child, which is why you don't know what to do. It's okay you don't know what to do, this sounds extremely stressful and it shouldn't be something you deal with alone. Please reach out to a trusted adult you know in real life to help you. I know it can feel embarrassing, and maybe it doesn't feel like a big deal or you think no one will take you seriously, I still encourage you to seek out an adult to protect you. If it can't be your parents first, a teacher or a counselor at school is a good place to start. There are adults who love you who would want to hear this, don't worry if it's embarrassing.

This boy and all his friends encouraging him, are doing something wrong to you. He is doing the wrong thing, and you are allowed to feel as angry and hurt as you feel.

I know it might be scary to read "you have described rape," and maybe it feels like you can't think of it like that right now. That's okay. You don't have to act or think any single way; however your emotions, mind, and body are reacting to this situation is nothing to feel ashamed of or need to fix right now or ever. The only thing you need to worry about right now is your health and safety, which means getting a trusted adult to help you.

If you don't know where to start, please consider a suicide hotline or a domestic abuse hotline. You don't have to worry about what you'll say, they will listen to whatever you want to say.

Sister, please believe me when I say, you are not alone. Please believe me when I say I want you to live, and I want you to live many happy, healthy, pleasurable years. Please believe me when I say I want to see you thrive, and what you are describing is a situation that will harm you the longer you're in it.

I wish you all the luck and the love in the world that I can give.

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : BABY MAMA DRAMA PT 3

*Read these beforehand: 1 2 3 & 4

“Y/N, hi.”

“Can we talk?”

“Y-yeah, come in.”

You walk into his parents home and take a deep breath to calm your nerves and yourself in general. You had a lot to say so you’re hoping everything goes as planned.

You enter the living room and sit down on the couch. “Y/N, look I know I messed up today and that was definitely not in my plans.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Jack, you followed me and my boyfriend all day. You, your girlfriend and Neelam kept attacking me on Instagram, how else did you think today was going to end?”

He shrugs, “Definitely not with a bloody nose.”

“Blanca warned you plenty of times, not my fault none of you took her seriously.”

“I wanted to apologize for what Heather and Neelam were saying online and about today. No way in hell am I taking you to court, you don’t think I know I’ll lose? You’ve been with Adrian and there’s no denying that.”

“Blanca must’ve hit you hard for you to say all these nice things.” You tell him jokingly.

“Y/N I’ve been trying, since the start and you just push me away. I hit my limit point, and sure maybe I should’ve done things differently but I needed to be in my son's life.”

You laugh “You’ve been trying since the beginning? Jack please, there’s no cameras around, your friends aren’t here, don’t lie now.”

“I’m serious, yeah maybe while you were pregnant I wasn’t around, and I should’ve treated you differently. But I did show up at the hospital but I was kicked out. I showed up when you gave birth, I showed up plenty of times after that, but I was always pushed aside. When you left I went looking for you and Adrian, do you really think I would leave my kid? I tried, I really did, but you didn’t let me.”

“Excuse me? I was there, I know you didn’t show up at all so stop with the lies Jack.” You tell him getting annoyed and a bit mad.

“I’m not lying, everytime I tried Diego was there and he told me you didn’t want to see me. He would answer your phone and tell me you had filed for full custody. He told me you had planned on leaving me way before giving birth.”

You roll your eyes, “Don’t do that, don’t lie on my boyfriend to try to make yourself look good. You left on your own, you should’ve tried harder.”

He’s shaking his head “Y/N I promise you I did try, the texts I send you, how can you say I didn’t when you would reply to me, telling me to fuck off.”

“Tex- what texts? Jack the moment I moved out I left that phone in our old apartment. I changed my number, I had no communication with you whatsoever.”

“Then it was Diego or Blanca.”

“Blanca might hate you but if you tried like you say you did, she wouldn’t push you away. Diego doesn’t have any motive to do that. So stop with the lying.”

“Here, look” he pulls out his phone and hands it to you “I texted you when my mom told me you were on the way to the hospital to give birth, I’ve been texting you non stop and obviously someone close to you has been replying.”

You scroll through the texts messages and indeed he’s right, he’s telling the truth. “Just because what you’re saying is right, that doesn’t excuse the fact that you weren’t there before and during my pregnancy. It doesn’t excuse the hurtful stuff you’ve been saying online.”

“I totally understand that part, and I’ll forever apologize to you, but Y/N, you saw the texts, you can’t deny that I tried for the most part. He wouldn’t let me.”

“If what you’re saying it’s true, then that’s my issue with my boyfriend and you can’t get involved.”

“I won’t get involved unless you ask me to.”

“I won’t be asking, I’ll handle that part.”

He nods, “From now on I promise you to give you the respect you deserve. I was an ass and I’m sorry for everything I said.”

“I appreciate the fact that you’re understanding my situation, but it’s going to take more than some words to get on my good side. You worry about Adrian and being in his life.”

“What about yours?”

You shake your head. “We’ll forever be tied to one another, but you being in my life any other way is a big no. I’m with Diego and I respect him enough not to cross that line.”

“Please just ask him about the text, I have my suspicions about other stuff and I’m handling that part.”

“Jack, please no more fighting or insults. We both did enough on social media. From now on, anything involving Adrian, it stays between us and your parents, that’s it.”

“And Blanca.”

“Definitely Blanca, whatever you believe, she was there more than anyone else and I will forever be thankful for her and our son is lucky to have her in his life.”

“Okay, that’s fair. I promise you no more fighting between us.”

“Why do I have a feeling that there’s going to be more than fighting with whatever you’re plotting.”

Jack shrugs and smiles, “Not between us, I feel like we might even team up on this. Well, if anything goes as planned.”

You groan, “I can’t with you right now.” You stand up from the couch. “I’ll be heading out, I need to do some grocery shopping and last minute errands that got canceled due to your actions today. But please stick to your words.”

“I promise, no drama between us.”

You roll your eyes at that and head towards the door and to your car.

The talk you had with Jack should’ve made you feel even better but something about his words is making you think hell's about to let loose.

********

An hour later you are finally done running your errands and arriving at your house when you get an incoming call.

You roll your eyes and you answer the call. “Just because we sort of worked things out, doesn’t mean you can call me like we’re best friends Jack.”

“Yeah yeah, quick question, is Diego home?”

You look around your house and where he’s usually parked and you only see Blanca’s car there.

“Uhh, noo, I don’t think so. Why?”

“Nothing, I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Jack.” You warn.

“We’re good Y/N, I promise you.”

“JACKMAN.”

“Chill out, you'll get high blood pressure, I’ll talk to you soon.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too.”

“What? JACKMAN THOMAS HARLOW.”

“Wow I missed that, but bye talk soon.” With that he hangs up.

“Está loco este gringo.” You say to yourself and shake your head.

*************

Once Jack ended the call with Y/N he got out of his car and looked around his driveway to confirm his suspicion he had from the very start.

He made it into his home and tried not to make any noises so he could catch everyone by surprise.

He walks into his shared bedroom and smiles at what he sees. He sneakily takes a picture, makes a call and puts his phone away and claps. “I knew it.” He yells.

“Wh- Jack baby it’s not what it looks like.” Heather says panicking, rushing to cover her naked body with the sheets.

Jack shrugs “It looks exactly what I think it is.”

“Let me explain, baby please.”

“I honestly don’t give a fuck, I’m not even hurt about it.” He then faces the person he caught Heather in bed with. “You though, you’re an ass and in need of an ass beating for many reasons. But I’ll let Y/N do that.”

“She won’t believe you, she hates you, I made sure of that.”

“Oh Diego, don’t give yourself too much credit.”

“You think she’ll believe you? You left her alone and you weren’t with Adrian, I was. So let’s see who’s actually going to win this round.”

“I think she will believe me, I have a good feeling about this.”

Diego laughs, laying in bed like if he just didn’t get caught cheating. “You see, I’ve been plotting this entire thing since the very beginning. You had all the girls, you had Y/N, you treated her like shit, while I was there, the best friend who held her while she cried. I was there and you weren’t, and that’s where I have the upper hand. She got pregnant, I made sure you were nowhere around. Getting kicked out from the hospital? That was my doing and it was perfect, it was the final nail in the coffin to make her hate you, and love me.”

“So that was your plan from the beginning? Make her hate me so you could swoop in and mend her broken heart? You used her, used her feelings and just to get with her and make my son love you as well?”

Diego shrugs “It worked didn't it? The only problem was, I hate kids, and Adrian, well he’s such a mommy’s boy and still loved you even though I tried my hardest to get him to hate you. He was just this annoying boy who got on my nerves most of the time, but I had a planned for that. That’s where Heather comes in.”

“He’s three, there’s no hate in my boy’s heart. But if you think whatever you and Heather had planned for my son was going to stand, then you’re strongly mistaken. I would never take him away from his mother, I wouldn’t allow that.”

“As annoying as he is, I can admit that. Good luck trying to get my girl to believe you though.”

Jack crosses his arms and smirks, “Then you have nothing to worry about. Now get out of my house before I call the cops and have you arrested for trespassing.”

Diego smirks and gets up from the bed “Heather, pleasure doing business with you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, I know you two are working together. You can leave with him too sweets.” Jack says.

“Jack please let me explain.” 

“I think we’re good, you made things so much easier for me. Thank you for that.” 

“After everything Diego and I did to keep you and her away, you still love that bitch? You still have hope she’ll take you back and be this happy family? Give up, she hates you. We made sure of that.” Heather yells while getting dressed. 

“It is what it is, I’ll be in her life no matter what, we have a kid together.” 

“You won’t, I still have more under my sleeve.” Diego says and walks out the bedroom. 

Jack stares at Heather “Quick question.” 

“Y-yeah?” 

“Were you in on the plan with him from the start? Because that’s the only thing I’m questioning.” 

“After she moved out.” 

Jack nods “So from the beginning then?”

“N-no, I wasn’t with the plan at first, but then he told me how you would always try to go back and see her, then you came over one night and that was it. It was mainly him telling her stuff and him texting you from her old phone.” 

“Got it, thanks.” Jack says, “You can leave now.”

“You’re an ass.” she says and storms out of the bedroom.

Jack shrugs and takes his phone out of his jeans pocket and sees that the call ended, he just hopes the person on the other end heard everything that just happened.

***************

A few hours later, you cooked dinner and set the table up. You convinced Drea and Blanca to take Adrian out for a movie and ice cream. You were now waiting for your boyfriend to get home so you can both have a talk.

“Babe, I’m home.”

“In the kitchen.” You were sitting down at the dining room, sipping on a glass of tequila.

“Wow, what’s all this?” Diego asks, looking around the table.

“I made dinner.”

“Babe, did you forget I hate enchiladas?” 

You shrug, “Oh, that’s for me and Jack.”

He looks confused. “I’m sorry what?”

“Well he and I had a great talk. I learned plenty of stuff and everything just makes sense now.”

“Is he finally going to step up and be the father Adrian needs?”

“I mean he wouldn't have had to step up if you just stayed in your lane. But I can’t control what has already happened. But I can sure control what's about to happen from here on foward.” You take a sip from your drink and look up at him.

He’s standing a few feet away from you looking at you with his arms crossed and raised eyebrows. “Babe, what are you talking about? What lies has he been telling you?”

You chuckle, “I’ll give it to you, you had me fooled. You had everyone fooled.” you stand up, chug your drink and smile. “I heard everything, every single thing you told Jack, I heard it all.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play stupid, you and Heather are together and plotting against Jack and me. You’ve been pushing him away through me. All over a stupid middle school vendetta you had against him.”

“Y/N, you sound crazy.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m not going to argue with you. I heard everything and that’s all you need to know to pack your shit and leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Oh I think you are, you little shit.” Blanca says, walking into the kitchen with her dog and a bat in hand.

You smile and she winks at you. “I rooted for you man, but you played my cousin and you should know by now, that I don’t let shit slide especially if it has anything to do with my family.”

“You both are crazy.”

“We might be, but you’ll be nothing but tiny pieces if you don’t pack your shit and leave.”

“I’m being nice on letting you pack your stuff, Blanca and Drea wanted to burn everything.” You tell him.

“So what, you believe everything that idiot tells you? Adrian doesn’t need him.”

“What? He needs you? You honestly think I’ll be with someone who spoke poorly about my son? Estás sordo o te haces? I heard everything, Jack called me when he caught you and Heather.”

“Enough talking pendejo, pack your shit and leave.” Blanca says.

“Better yet, leave now. I’m not letting you stay here another second.” 

You turn around to see Jack, Clay and Urban are standing in the entrance of your kitchen.

“Oh now it's a party.” Blanca says.

“Alright, I’m leaving, but don’t come running to me crying saying how he broke your heart again. He won’t change. I might have done the plotting, but it’s all his character.” Diego says and walks out, but not before bumping shoulders with Jack.

“Someone wants to explain to me what the hell just happened?” Urban asks.

“Dude, do you just follow Jack into anything without knowing the details?” Blanca asks him

He nods. “Pretty much yeah.”

You shake your head and sit down. “Sit down and eat, Jack will explain everything.”

They all sit down and you start serving the food while Jack explains everything that he had suspected, and everything that happened today.

“So you two are finally good then?” Clays asks.

“I wouldn’t say that, we’re starting fresh. But there's still so much hurt and things we both need to talk about. Like I told him, our main concern here is Adrian and a few nice words won’t change everything. We both said hurtful things, and we need time to figure everything out.” 

Jack nods, “I’m just lucky and thankful Y/N has given me another chance to make things right.”

“If you fuck up, me and my dog will tear you into shreds.”

“I know Blanca, the bloody nose proved you stay true to your threats.”

You all laugh at that and continue with dinner.

Things changed tonight, you don’t know if for the better or for worse. But one thing is for sure, you didn’t make it any easier for Jack, he had a lot to make up for and it will take time, even years.

******

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[bengiyo]

La Pluie: Thoughts on the Queer Subtext and More Patts Reflections

It feels a bit weird to begin this post talking about the queer subtext in a show full of men kissing each other, and implied sapphic love. Still, I have thoughts about Warun and Yad, and how their relationship represents a break with traditionalism as well. There are many articles and historical analyses about the “surge” in divorce in America once it became legal for women, and especially for women to have their own bank accounts. I personally don’t think traditions are useful at the point where they continue to harm people asked to uphold them. Yad and Warun also seem to be reconciling that reality for themselves.

Warun and Yad

I posited in Episode 5 that Warun might be queer based on my read of his mannerisms. I think that read holds even through Episode 11, but I think it’s good for the show not to confirm his queerness in any way. Because this show has not had any form of overt homophobia, it would confuse any of the previous messaging to make his queerness text. However, his line, “I can’t change myself,” reads so loudly as queer to me that I can’t let it go.

With Yad and Warun, we had two people come together and form a soulmate marriage and successfully raise four children together. However, they ran into the kinds of problems many couples do, principally over work and family time. What fascinates me is that Yad is the primary breadwinner for their family. She is becoming a powerful tech executive and doesn’t want to forego her career because of the goals she has for her family. Is she not supposed to provide the best financial outcomes for her children?

Warun has become the primary caregiver, and he worries that the boys are not getting the connection with their mom that both she and they need. As I watched their fight, I thought about Nagisa in his (2020) and his fight with his wife, who was also the primary breadwinner of their couple as well. Eventually, they realized they couldn’t be the partners they wanted to be to each other and separated. I think, because Warun was the caregiver, he didn’t want to feel like he let his boys down and ended up giving Tai a huge complex.

I think it’s extremely lovely of this show to show that Warun and Yad were better once they separated from each other and let go of the idea that they’re supposed to be married forever because of their rain connection. (@liyazaki) I love that they still find meaning and connection in their rain connection and hold it significantly between them. I love that Nu is completely unbothered by their connection, and only wants to find his place in this family.

Tai

Oh, Tai. This was not a great week for him. Despite showing some wisdom with Lomfon, and reconciling with his brother, he continues to hold onto this false notion of love.

I will say this plainly. I think Tai has been an asshole for the last two episodes, and it was time for the narrative to gently, but firmly, pull his head out of his ass. He has punished everyone in his life because he’s mad at his parents, refusing to form any meaningful relationships with many people because he’s not allowing himself the complexities of human connection.

I am glad that he was forced to confront the chip he carries around on his shoulder and recognize that his parents faced a terrible internal struggle. He needed to see that it was unfair of him to punish them for dealing with something that difficult. I also think it’s useful for him, with all of the mess he’s created, to have the support of his closest brother.

Now, he’s got to make things right with Patts, but he doesn’t have the benefits of the rain connection to find him. I’m eager to see that boy run around and do the goddamn work required to be in a long-term relationship with someone next week.

Tai is learning the hardest lesson we learn as queer people: the rules and traditional expectations of relationships don’t fit for us. We have to figure out our relationships ourselves and do the work.

Patts

You know I was going to defend my boy!

I think it was excellent of the show to have Patts go to Tai and see him being chummy with Longfon. Though I think Patts’s friends were wrong about him needing to go reconcile with Saengtai, Patts isn’t the kind of person to just let his problems fester. It’s not in his nature. He must go to him. He has to see Tai talking to Lomfon and misunderstanding it so that he makes the only reasonable choice and attempt to move on. I love Patts. He will always try to do the right thing even if it hurts.

My man ugly cried next to a window as his friends held him because he’s done everything he possibly could and it still wasn’t enough. He asked last week and I’m still asking, “Why is it so hard to choose me?”

Reading Patts as bisexual, I like the choice for him to walk away at this point because it’s exactly what he told Saengtai. Tai said he wanted Patts to see his actions over any words he won’t speak. I don’t care that Tai was clearly trying to fix things for Tien. If he was going to fix any relationships, he needed to go to Patts first.

On to the Finale!

I may be limited in my commentary next week since I’ll be busy, but I am genuinely excited about this finale. Tai is finally being forced to grow up and stop waiting for love to fall into his lap. I’m ready to see that boy Japanese BL Run for his love.

Tagging @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm, and @wen-kexing-apologist for chatting with me while I got these thoughts out.

[angelst4re]

brother's best friend!jamie making out with y/n and fucking her in her bedroom and she loves the dirty talk and how rough but also caring he is✨🤭

ahh that's my favourite trope!! best friend's brother/ brother's best friend fics are so <33 so i hope you like it!!

Be Quiet- Jamie Campbell Bower x Reader

summary: in the request :)

warnings: NSFW!! contains smut, if this makes you uncomfortable then please don't read, my love!

notes: i can't believe tomorrow is the last day of 2022?!?!? that's insane.

Your parents were out of town for the weekend, leaving you and your brother at home alone. You both agreed not to throw any parties, as to not risk your parents getting mad when they came home, but he had asked you if it was okay if his friend, Jamie, could stay over tonight.

And who were you to say no to that.

For years you’ve had a crush on Jamie, and you were sure he knew about it. He would constantly tease you and flirt, but you told yourself that was just a part of his personality. After all, you were his best friend’s little sister!

Your brother, Max, had asked you to go down to the shops to get some snacks for him and Jamie, at first you said no and told him to do it himself, but you gave in eventually when he offered to pay for some snacks for you too.

You went to the store and spent some time looking around before you grabbed a couple bags worth of snacks, paid (using Max’s card), and began to walk back home. The bags were quite heavy, but it was only a short walk home, you could cope.

“Hello, sweetheart.” You heard someone say, you didn’t realise quite who it was to begin with as you had zoned out on your walk home, lost in your thoughts.

“Hi, Jamie!” You smiled.

“Give me those,” he was quick to take the bags of snacks off of you, realising you were struggling a little, “let me guess… Max sent you to get these?”

“Of course.” You chuckled.

You both talked as you walked back to your house, about anything and everything. He told you about new tattoos he was planning, how he was thinking of starting a band, and you told him about your new job and gossip about your friendship group. However, as you talked, you felt tension between the two of you. He watched your lips as you talked and smiled softly when he noticed you were blushing.

When you got to your house, you got your key out to unlock the door and let him in first. You took the bag of snacks you got for yourself, and left him with the bag of snacks for your brother.

“I think he’s up in his room,” you told Jamie, talking about your brother, “when you see him, tell him I want to go to sleep early tonight, so be quiet!”

“Of course, love,” he chuckled, “see you later!” He smiled before disappearing up to your brother’s room.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“See you later”, he clearly meant it in a ‘see you later’ way, not ‘see you later’, but those three words were running through your mind all night. The way he had spoke to you when you were walking home sent a rush of butterflies in your tummy, and the way his hand brushed yours when he took the bags from you sent shivers across your body.

Surely if he didn’t like you back, he wouldn’t be acting like this? He wouldn’t lead you on and build your hopes up, surely.

You were pulled from your thoughts as you felt your phone buzz beside you, and your screen lit up with a text message.

From Jamie.

Are you still awake? He had asked

Yep, you replied.

When he didn’t text back, you were a little upset. But then,

Can I come in?

Your stomach was doing backflips, your hands trembled as you text back,

Of course :)

You quickly shot out of bed and switched your lights on, checking your hair in the mirror before there was a knock at the door.

You took in a deep breath before you grabbed the door handle, opening your bedroom door to reveal a smiling, shirtless Jamie. His blonde hair, a beautiful mess at the top of his head, a look in his eyes that told you everything you needed to know.

“Hello.” He whispered, a wide grin on his face.

You didn’t reply, not verbally. Instead, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips felt like pillows against yours, and you were sure you could taste strawberry.

He pushed you backwards into your room without breaking the kiss and shut the door behind him. You pulled him over towards your bed before falling back on to it, pulling him on top of you. You giggled as you felt his hand on your waist as his kisses got needier, more full of desire.

His knee was placed between your thighs, and as he pressed it down against your cunt, you moaned into the kiss, causing him to grin against your lips.

“You like that, hm?” He observed, watching as you raise your hips, hoping for more friction.

You nodded your head, which earned a chuckle from Jamie. His hand placed on your waist slithered down your body, pushing your oversized t-shirt up to your waist.

“Jamie… What are you-” You were cut off as he began peppering kisses across your stomach before going lower… and lower.

“Be quiet for me, darling. We don’t want Max hearing you, do we?” He smirked up at you and you nodded your head.

He hooked his finger into the waistband of your underwear and pulled it teasingly too slow down your thighs, dropping them to the floor beside the bed. He kissed your inner thigh, hooking his arms around them to hold you in place before his lips met your soaked cunt with a delicate kiss.

“You have such a perfect cunt, darling. Is this all for me?”

“Yes, all yours.” You whimpered as his thumb teased your clit in little circles.

You threw your head back against the pillows and bit down on the back of your hand as his tongue dipped into you, the warm muscle sending shivers down your spine as it danced across your heat. The pleasure from his thumb on your clit, followed by his tongue teasing your hole, made you feel euphoric. You had touched yourself before, but that was nothing compared to this.

The pleasure had you squirming around, so he placed his free hand on your lower belly, keeping you in place. Your legs were resting over his shoulders as his face was buried between your thighs. You wished you could have taken a picture, you wanted to remember this sight forever.

“Awh, baby, are you close?” He teased, feeling your thighs begin to tremble on his shoulders.

You nodded your head, afraid that opening your mouth to speak would let out the string of moans you had been holding down.

He smirks, gently moving your legs as he climbed up the bed to kiss you again.

This wasn’t fair, you wanted to finish!

“Jamie!” You whine with a pout as he smirks against your lips.

“I’m sorry darling,” as he spoke, you felt the hardness in his joggers press against your slick inner thigh, “what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to fuck me,” you whispered, pressing a kiss beneath his ear, “and don’t hold back, I want you to be rough.”

Jamie never thought he would hear those words leave your lips, to him you had always been Max’s innocent little sister. When he met you for the first time at your 19th birthday party, he believed he had never seen someone so beautiful. He would have made a move sooner, but he had a girlfriend at the time who he was unhappy with, and when he finally broke up with her Max had informed him that you had a boyfriend.

You were unhappy with your boyfriend, you only saw him as an alternative for Jamie. He was tall, blonde, but he was also a shitty person. He knew somehow that it was Jamie you wanted, which made him insanely jealous whenever you were around him, so he eventually ended things with you, and you were glad he did, otherwise you wouldn’t currently be having your hands pinned above your head as Jamie fucked into you, whimpering beneath him as he whispered into your ear.

“Shh, you’re doing well for me, darling. It’s like you were made to take me.”

Your brain felt fuzzy as he pounded into you, you could feel him hitting spots you didn’t think was possible. You were babbling, trying to tell him how good it felt, how you didn’t want him to stop, but you were unable to form a coherent sentence. He was truly fucking you dumb.

“I told you to be quiet, sweetheart.” He reminded you, pressing his finger against your lips.

You looked up at him, his forehead beading with sweat, his hair a little damp as it fell over his eyes. You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist as you opened your mouth, taking his finger between your lips and suckling on it, your eyes locked with his as his mouth fell open, his eyes darkened with lust even further.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “you’re so fucking perfect, my perfect little slut, aren’t you, hm?”

You nodded your head as he slipped another finger between your lips, and his thrusts began to get faster and harder, rougher with each slap of his skin against yours. And soon you felt yourself getting scarily close to the edge, ready to tumble into the bliss of your orgasm.

“J…Jamie, I’m going to…” You tried to speak with his fingers pressed against his tongue, but he knew what you were trying to say.

“I know, baby. I’ve got you, okay. You can let go, cum for me, darling.”

Just before you were overtaken by the bliss, you whispered three words. Three words you had been afraid of saying since the beginning, but to your surprise he had said them back.

“I love you, I always have.” He panted, the thrusts of his hips started to become slower and harder as you felt him twitch inside you.

“Inside,” you gasped, finally moving your arms from where he had pinned them to wrap them around him, holding him as close to you as possible, you needed to feel him close, “please…”

He nodded before burying his face in the crook where your neck meets your shoulder, kissing the delicate skin before he began to spill inside of you, coating your walls with a comforting warmth, causing you to clench around him.

You continued to hold him close as he collapsed onto you, his cock still stuffed inside you. You ran your fingers through his hair as you both caught your breath and you came to your senses.

You fucked your brother’s best friend.

A flash of guilt and worry flashed past you, you worried that this would make things awkward when he would come over, you worried that he would regret this when he finally came back to reality.

“I think we should tell Max.” Jamie said, turning his head to look at you.

“What?!” You panicked, “he’ll kill you! He’ll kill me!”

“No, not about us fucking, sweetheart,” he chuckled, brushing a piece of hair out of your face, “I meant we should tell him about us.

“Us?” You questioned.

“Yes, us!” He chuckled, a lazy smile on his face, “well, only if you would like to be my girlfriend.”

“Is this your way of asking me to date you/” You teased.

“Maybe it is…”

“Then of course, I think we should tell Max about us.” You said with a smile, before he leaned over and placed a kiss on your lips.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Runaway - Chapter Ten.

I’M SO SORRY I didn’t post this yesterday, besties! I completely forgot, getting sidetracked with working out and chores! Here it is, though. Take your time getting to the next 30 notes, if you like, but if you’re desperate for more then no problem, all up to you guys! Thank you so much for your engagement, as ever! 

Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine

Taglist - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 2,120

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

“Oh, look at this, here’s your daddy and you’re just mad as hell! What a welcome, huh?” Hannah spoke over the puce faced, full scale meltdown her daughter was throwing as she opened her front door. Manny took the howling baby immediately, noticing right away how exhausted her mother looked.  

“Now, come on, tiny girl. Ain’t that bad, is it?” he began, talking to her soothingly, wincing when she about blew his left eardrum out, turning to Hannah. “Apparently it is.”  

“She’s been howling for the past half hour, and most of the afternoon. She isn’t running a fever, she’s fed and dry but apparently, she just wants to make me feel like I’m the worst mother on earth while sleep depriving me too, just for good measure!” she exclaimed, but lightly, trying to play it off a little with some humour. To add to it, as soon as Manny sat down on the couch with Lola rested to his chest, she finally stopped. She had to bite her lips together to prevent them from wobbling.  

Of course, he noticed. “When was the last time you got to relax for a while?”

Hannah made a thoughtful face. “Oh, let me think. First trimester, I think.”  

“Shit,” he rumbled, laughing softly before nodding in the direction of her slightly ajar bathroom door. “Go for a soak in the tub, have some you time, go on. I got this one.”

Hannah hesitated; with a look of concern Manny read with one hundred percent accuracy. “It’s alright, Hannah banana. For the last few days, whenever I’ve had a spare moment I’ve been reading up on all this parenting shit. I think I read through about fifty different websites, twenty of which contradicted the one before, so I called for backup. Lily kindly sat and basically wrote me out my own baby book of dos and don’ts, what’s really important, semi-important and what not to worry about. It’s my bible, and I got a good memory, so don’t stress. She’s in good hands.”

She looked placated by that information, smiling fondly, touched that he was really taking the role of daddy very seriously. God, she’d gotten so lucky. “Thank you. I’ll be out in half an hour.”

“Take your time.” He winked, kissing Lola’s soft, sweet-smelling head, Hannah heading into her bathroom, her emotions stirred. There within the dark brown tilled room, the water chugging into the deep tub from the double faucet and filling the air with steam that the whirring extractor took care of, she poured in her bubble bath as silent tears slipped from her eyes. After everything she’d been through, it was such a relief that the man who had fathered her baby was being completely effortless in all of this.  

With Michael, it had been hell. Absolute hell.  

It had started a month and a half after their breakup, Michael calling and asking if they could meet, stating that after having time to reflect and regardless of everything, he missed her. She’d turned down his request, explaining that while she still felt awful over her actions, she was at peace with the result of them. He seemed to take it with grace to begin with, wishing her well... until the text messages began flooding in.  

‘We can make it work, Hannah. Okay, so maybe I’ve been a little too assertive in our relationship, too quick to take the lead, so let’s give it a chance for me to make up for that, give you a little more freedom of choice. How about that?’

Except she’d mentioned the unfairness in the past, and he’d done nothing about it. If he really wanted to change, he would have done so before then. At forty-two years old, he’d had ample time to better himself.

‘Come on, babe. There’s no point ignoring me. You know we’re both at the age now where it makes sense to settle down, so why not with each other now that I’m making the effort to change?’

Except he wasn’t.

‘Hannah, this is fucking ridiculous. You know we’re meant to be together, come on! What, have you found someone else? Just call me, okay?’

And then he began turning up at her apartment, banging on the front door, calling for her to come out and face him, or let him in so they could talk. He’d spend hours out there, becoming verbally aggressive, trying to pick the locks, threatening her if she didn’t let him in. After the third consecutive night, she’d abandoned her hope that he would get bored and called the police, her neighbours also lodging complaints about him disturbing the peace.  

On and on he persisted, even taking to watching her apartment after he’d finished work, following her when she went out to the store or met up with Shonda or her family, even barging his way into the restaurant she and Ange, her sister-in-law had been having dinner at one evening, having to be physically removed by three of the servers, Hannah mortified and frightened by the scene he’d made.  

After that, he went quiet, Hannah thinking that luck might have shone on her a little, recently finding out that she was pregnant, dealing with the stress and shock of that, knowing that she was too far gone for a termination, and even if she wasn’t, deciding that she didn’t actually want one. She very much wanted to be a mother.  

She was twenty-one weeks, with her little bump showing nicely, when Michael made an appearance again, following her from the store one night, confronting her in the parking garage beneath her apartment block. He’d screamed at her so much, she’d trembled in fright, wrapping her arms around her stomach protectively as he’d ranted at her.  

“How dare you do not tell me! How fucking dare you. That’s my child too, Hannah, I have rights, you know!”  

She’d been too frightened by his escalating aggression to reveal the fact that there was only a fifty percent chance that the baby was his. Thankfully, that night she’d had Jayden, her neighbours’ son come to her aid, all six feet six of him towering over Michael, advising that he should back the hell down, watching him leave before insisting on escorting Hannah back upstairs while carrying her groceries, well-mannered kid that he was.  

After that, she’d had his mother on her back, his sisters, and him, so much so she’d had to change her phone number and had, for a while, seriously considered selling her apartment and moving elsewhere. He then began to reach out via email, hundreds of messages per week, continuing to show up on her doorstep, Hannah cataloguing it all before taking it to the police, Ange, Jayden, his parents and a few other neighbours providing statements that backed up her claim for harassment and stalking. To put it mildly, she’d been frightened out of her mind for her safety, with how he’d behaved.

It was only when she’d reached her thirtieth week of pregnancy that finally, the restraining order was put into effect, and everything calmed down. By that time, though, she was exhausted and had been ever since. Raising a baby as a single mother, while continuing to work was the toughest thing she’d ever done.  

Her parents had helped, both doting on Lola, having her to stay overnight on occasion so Hannah could get a full night of sleep and have time to run her errands, but still, it had been so tiring, being the full-time caregiver, doing it all alone.  

Thank heavens she didn’t have to any longer, dying her eyes as she sniffed, undressing and sliding into the bath, sinking down until she was submerged completely. While she was relaxing, Manny was getting to grips with being on dad duty.  

“How the hell can something so small and pretty produce what can only be described as demonic shit? For real, tiny girl. That ain’t right,” he spoke, his daughter now fresh and clean, the offending diaper tied into a bag and condemned to the trash. “I thought I was gonna have to call a priest for a moment. Oh, ya’lll smiling at me now, huh? You think this is funny, don’t you?”

He tickled her, watching her grin grow wider, lifting her up and carrying her back out of her room, glad he’d actually managed to change her successfully without having to call Hannah for help. YouTube videos provided a wealth of information when someone new to all of this – as he very much was – required a little demonstrative instruction.

He’d have been lying if he’d stated he didn’t find it daunting, being responsible for another person, a tiny one at that, but he wouldn’t fail Lola like his own father had failed him. He’d learned that Manuel Snr had passed away seven years ago from colon cancer. He found that quite fitting, that such an asshole be taken out literally by his own asshole. It was something he touched upon later that evening with Hannah, after Lola had thankfully gone to sleep without fuss.  

“I want to thank you again, for stepping up, making all of this so easy,” she told him, Manny reaching to squeeze her hand.  

“I ain’t gonna be no deadbeat dad. I had one of those,” he explained, continuing when Hannah’s face shifted to curiously sympathetic. “He walked out on my mom, my siblings and I when I was five. We never saw him again, not even when my mom managed to locate him in order to serve his no-good ass with divorce papers. He never cared about any of us, but thank fuck I had the best goddamned male role model in my gramps. He raised me better than to abandon a child, and I wouldn’t anyway, because no kid deserves their dad to be that fuckin’ selfish, you know?”

“Jesus, that’s awful.” She shook her head, her forehead creasing. “I’m so sorry you had that happen to you.”  

“Don’t be,” he assured, “because if I hadn’t, I likely wouldn’t have had such a healthy childhood, growing up on the ranch in La Paz County. It’s beautiful out there.”  

“You grew up on a ranch? What, with cattle and horses and everything?” she exclaimed softly, her eyes lighting up. “You only mentioned that you’d moved to Yuma because of a girl, and then ended up here because of, what was it you called it, a conflict of interests in your club back there. I never knew about the ranch!”

“Yeah, Blackstone Ranch was my home until I was twenty-five. Long days, hard work, but it was cool. I miss it sometimes, being on horseback for most of the day, out in the wilds,” he revealed, Hannah continuing to look amazed.

“Oh wow, you can ride? You actually worked there, too?”

“Hell yeah, darlin’. I was a cowboy before I switched to being a Mayan. My gramps got me up on quarter horse when I was six. He didn’t believe in letting me learn on a pony, and for that I thank him. I got good control. Whenever I go back, he gets me up on the unruly youngsters, because I’m hard to throw. I got an ass like glue once it hits the saddle.”

“This is so fascinating! I rode for a little bit as a child, but I quit after falling and breaking my collarbone. I know I shouldn’t have, that I should have got back on, but that nasty pain kinda scared me out of the saddle,” she shared, Manny nodding.

“Well, gramps asked when I’d be coming to visit so he and my gran can meet Lola. We’ll have to get you back up on a horse while we’re there.”  

Her face was a picture of trepidation, but inside, she sparkled at the prospect, of being introduced to his family, seeing the world he’d come from. “Do you ever miss it?”

“I do,” he began candidly. “Not the 4am starts, but I miss my grandparents, and my horse. I got a mare called Midnight, most beautiful, soulful horse in the world. Gramps made me break her in as a crazy two-year-old when I was eighteen. She’s mostly retired now, but she doesn’t have a clue that she’s twenty-three and technically on her way to being an old gal. She still loves to run; still jumps anything you point her at. Typical Mustang, she’ll be all fire until the day she dies.”

Listening to him speak of his old life, and his plans to include her in revisiting it made her chest flood with warmth. And then it hit her.  

He was engaged.  

Just when things were seeming to become simpler for her.  

[cutoutgoldstars]

Light Switch in the Dark

I'm sad and horny. This.id a one-shot 🍒🍒🍒

My parents have always been a little too much for each other; maybe that’s an understatement. Hearing stories about how they met as teenagers and had a world-wind romance were sweet as a kid. I think the facade of happiness and a stable relationship has been slowly slipping for the past few years.

I’m trying to remind myself that it’s not my relationship and I don’t have to feel so deeply hurt by their problems. But no matter what, I’d end up being stitched in the middle of their arguments. Stuck hearing the screaming matches that start over nothing but end up being about everything.

For this past week, I’ve been trying to pretend like nothing has been bothering me, but that gets kind of difficult when you start isolating yourself from everyone and just mindlessly going through your days because you’re tired from the previous night. Tired from thinking. The moments of sleep that wash over my body end up turning into nightmares of guilt and the pain of my body maps into a constellation of sadness.

I’ve been ignoring Lexi’s messages about her play or her movie nights with Fez. I don’t really care to pay attention to Ms. Lancelot in philosophy class or the fact that I should “embrace the absurd and create my own meaning in life”. To be honest, I don’t care for Nietzche and I don’t care to be happy when I feel like I can’t control my own happiness. The only thing that makes this all suck even more is that I’m doing the whole “isolate and destruct” pattern while being with Elliot.Having philosophy with him isn’t helping it either.

The desks are still placed in a circle. He’d usually take the seat to the left of me, but I’ve relocated to the side of the room where the blinds are always closed and he’s definitely noticed my absence in trying to talk to him, or argue with the resident “mansplainer” who makes things much more complicated to sound smart. Elliot and I used to make fun of him and the way he starts every “explanation” with “so basically”. Today was the same story, minus our looks at each other, or jokes we could tell with our eyes.

“So basically, Descrates is trying to say that God’s existence is a given. Who was the first to think of his existence? We wouldn’t be able to answer this. Cogito ergo sum:“ I think, therefore I am.” Descartes thinks God exists, therefore he does. That idea didn’t come out of nowhere because it’s false.”

At that moment I didn’t realize that I quite literally laughed out loud at his explanation. A dry laugh that was louder than just for myself .

“Do you have anything to add, y/n?’, Ms. Lancelot asked, sitting in the middle of the circle and spinning her chair over to face me.

“Um, I don’t agree with Adam. Cogito ergo sum was from his second meditation, and he used it to explain his own existence, not God’s. He used the trademark argument to explain God in the later meditations.”

Usually Ms. Lancelot would probably have dropped it then and there and just explained it herself, but me switching from always participating in philosophy to a wave of silence was also on her notice.

Elliot had a smirk on his face the entire time Adam was talking, but I definitely couldn’t read his expression as he watched me respond. Maybe he was mad I haven’t really texted him back, or that I’ve been dodging him after school. Or maybe it’s something else entirely and I’m fucking up the only good thing I have.

“Ms. L, can I ask y/n something?”

“Sure, Elliot. This is a discussion of course.”

“So do you think it’s possible that God is just controlling the idea to be in everyone’s mind, or is it just something else?”

Ms. Lancelot definitely knows I already finished reading the entire Meditations because she looked intrigued herself to hear my response.

“But why does that even have to do with Adam’s response?”

“I just want to know.”

I spaced out in that moment, trying to block out whatever emotions were trying to come out of me hearing him say that in such a matter-of-fact tone.

“You’ll never be happy, because you need to have a voice but all you do is complain about not having a fucking voice!”

“You’re slowly sucking the life out of me. It’s like living in a house with someone that just goes around drawing the life out of everything!”

“So then you go out an just fuck someone else, huh?! Seriously Peter--”

“There was so much I didn’t want to do, defending our marriage and trying to hold onto this. You’re the one who told me to go! You think I wanted to get married a 24---”

“Nobody told you to fucking marry me! Yet you continue to blame me for everything that followed after, you could have still taught at Berkeley, you could have still gone to all those conventions. I didn’t stop you, Peter!”

“I just want to fucking know what goes on in the sick twisted mind of yours. So what, you can use it against me that I’m not home with our daughter. That I still have my career and you have nothing?”

Endless. Day and night, drowning it out by doing my homework, listening to music, reorganizing my bookshelf over and over again, trying to reread Descartes. But it gets really hard trying to keep some sort of happiness in your life, when your home life is crumbling. They love each other or why would they be putting up with this for so long? One says something that they regret, apologies while crying, and falls back into the same old patterns of their marriage story.

It’s like the Myth of Sisyphus, rolling up to love, except that the boulder keeps falling down much faster than it used too and explodes all over everyone.

“Y/N, do you care to answer?”

The long pause and silence came from me, trying to hide in the cloud of “thinking” of a response to his question. But for once in my life the bell worked in my favor. Ms. Lancelot reminded us that she posted the reading journal for next week while I slipped out of the door, ready to go home, not registering Elliot calling out my name or trying to catch up to me.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────••───────•°•❀•°•───────••───────•°•❀•°•──────•

Three hours of silence before it started again and I couldn’t take any more moments in the house. I doubt that they even noticed me slip out the door, or if they see from the kitchen window my body walking towards the park near the elementary school that’s a moment away from our house.

It’s way too dark for any kids to be there, just the occasional car or rustle in the trees on the cold night. My knees pressed to my chest on the bottom of the slide, continuing to watch my show.

Watching Bojack Horseman in the cold park. The show I watched with Elliot. The show we’d watch while getting high, as if that’s not the antithesis of what we should be doing.

I don’t want to fetishize my own sadness. “I, I, I, me, me, me.” But there’s nowhere left to turn and I’m tired of running from my own mind. My plan was to take a break, watch my show and go back when I knew it’d start to die down.

But hearing an animated horse say: “Suddenly, you realize you’ll never have the good relationship that you wanted…the stupidest goddamn part of you, was still holding onto that chance. And you didn’t even realize it until that chance went away.”

And that’s when I lost it, crying in a cold park, trying to find comfort in something that’s not even mine. Crying after forcing myself to keep it out, or to forget. Looking through tear filled eyes for his name in my phone, something to hold onto.

“Now you want to talk to me? Y/N,I---”

“Can you please pick me up, Elly? Please, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry I just can’t keep doing this right now and I’m so tired,” my voice shaking with the weight of asking for help and finally coming to terms with these feelings.

“Where are you right now?”

“Melrose Park. I’m really sorry Elliot, I just can’t do this anymore and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

“Stop apologizing, babe. I’ll be right there”

The bright headlights shooting into the park signaled to me that he was there. The lightness in his steps, even with each crunch of the leaves below him. Coming in my direction, for me, even after I completely blocked him out this week.

“Hey, I’m here. Talk to me, sweetheart,” he whispered, trying to get closer to me and get me off from that same place on the slide.

“I really don’t want to go home, Elly,” I managed to say, tears leaving my eyes as I took a choked breath in. He’s quiet, pulling me into his arms and holding my hand as we walk over to the car.

The ride to his house is silent. Just the few whimpers laced with hiccups that manage to come out of me, even as I trail behind him towards his bedroom. He sits on the bed, my head laying in his lap.

“Alright…” he trails off, his hands rubbing over my back.

“...just let it out,” he says quietly, sobs escaping my lips as I shudder with how cold I still feel. It feels nice to know that I’m safe with him, and that I can stop running.

“I think my parents are getting divorced. It’s just too much hearing about all of it like they don’t realize I’m right there.

“I’m sorry, babe,” he whispers, still holding onto me as I wipe my eyes with my sleeve.

“I just don’t want things to get bad again over a divorce. I’m too sensitive to my environment, I know. But I just don’t know how to feel okay when things change like that. This is so dumb. I can’t believe I’m crying over this. ”

“Don’t say that. You don’t have to feel bad about feeling bad.”

“I just don’t want to turn out like that Elliot. Stuck in something that pains me that much. I'm really sorry for doing this to you. I wasn’t trying to hide from you, I just, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for---.”

“Shhh, I know, I know,” he coos, still letting me cry in his lap.

“It’s going to get better, babe. I know it’s a lot right now, but you really have to take it all day by day. Hold onto things that aren’t too much. You can stay with me tonight, get some sleep maybe?”

“I really don’t deserve how nice you’re being.”

“You deserve the world. I know you only did it because you were scared to talk about it. Our hearts and our bodies are only given to us once, and you deserve happiness. Wherever it is, it will find you.

I move up to kiss him, somehow saying “I’m sorry”, “I love you”, and “Please don’t leave me” all in a kiss. He moves away, wiping the tears from my eyes.

“I mean it.You know I love you, right?”

“I love you more, my chin tilting to look up at him as he smiles softly.

My whole body relaxes a bit as we lay down together in his bed. His arms wrapped around me, falling asleep soundly for the first time in awhile. Safely in his arms.

[royalrudberg]

My thoughts on RWRB, in no particular order because my brain doesn't work like that:

SPOILERS AHEAD

These are my opinions/thoughts after the first watch through (of course I'm gonna re-watch several times) but don't be mad at me please I'm sensitive

Things I loved

I spent the first full hour smiling and laughing. It put the Com in Romcom. And then the lake scene plunged me into a pit of despair, but in a good way.

Alex was Alex and Henry and was Henry. Like Nick and Taylor really got their characters and did them so much justice and the chemistry was chemistry-ing

Miguel! He was fun and flirty. I wasn't expecting him at all but I think his addition really worked for two reasons: it saved Alex time in figuring out his sexuality so we get ahead into him + Henry, and it gave an explanation for the leaking of the emails without being as politically charged as in the book, because some people, especially if they're not American, don't care about that part as much

Amy is so fucking funny

Zahra is even more funny

Casting! Pez was perfect! Philip was amazing! Papa Diaz delivered the dad vibes for sure. I wish Bea had more screen time. Shaan was good (and very handsome) And don't get me started on UMA FUCKING THERMAN!!

I know we'd have preferred to have both June and Nora but I think that for the purpose she served to the plot just Nora was fine. Movie!Nora was a combination of book!Nora and June. It worked.

GET LOW GET LOW GET LOW

Henry pretending to look for a book when Amy comes into the red room absolutely killeddddd me

Ellen talking about getting Alex on Truvada. Real AF.

Henry doing karaoke!

"I thought Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz was a mouthful." "He is."

"Shut up stop talking" and "You're late", followed by him trying to close the door

The texting/messaging and emails. They included enough for you to get the idea and to show the passage of time and they did in a cool way that didn't take too much of the screen time. Also Henry being "in the room" when they're on the phone was so cute!

Alex being nervous and awkward about having sex with Henry was perfect! It felt very real

Criticisms:

Henry going to fidget with his ring,realizing Alex is wearing it, and that little smile at each other. Fucking beautiful

Alex reading OLS

I wanted Henry singing God save the King

We didn't get to see Catherine? But at least she didn't get Juned.

No powerpoint??? Even though Ellen giving him the talk was plenty funny.

Fucking eyelashes! Miguel mentioned them, but I don't think Herny did? Why notttt??

Random but I would have rather had the conversation in the tack room than the whole polo mantage. We get it, he's hot.

Leo?!? I knew June wasn't there but his parents still being together was so random to me? Not necessarily bad just random.

I really wanted to see Alex standing in the rain...also the dialog there kinda threw me off? Like I know it was heartfelt and emotional or whatever but the "and I'll bother you no longer" part didn't feel like that version of Alex. Kinda took me out of the moment.

Maybe I just wanted more Stephen Fry, but that resolution was a little too easy/cheesy

Idk if it was my ADHD or Taylor's pronunciation but I had to turn on the subtitles because I kept not understanding him?

Questions:

Did they have to change Henry's name? Like bc of the actual royal family?

Can the presidents spouse still have a seat in Congress? Is that allowed?

[deepperplexity]

Prompt: 23. Cherishing Joy

Characters: You

POV: Second, Reader [+First, Narrator]

Setting: Your home

Continuation of: Prompt 24. Christmas Party from RICKMAS 2021

A/N: Umh… hi… 👀👉👈 So, it’s March, and RICKMAS was over months ago - but I did promise I would finish it and I had a little time today and felt like I could finally face this challenge given everything that happened to make me take a step back from completing RICKMAS on time.

I hope you had an amazing time reading my fics last year, and I know many of you were here the year before, and many who are new to RICKMAS for 2022 also went ahead and read last RICKMAS’s fics - thank you! - so I thought, why not do a continuation of the grand final of last year's RICKMAS feast?

Now, now, don’t get ahead of yourself, it’s not something completely new like last year's fic because that was, well, complete madness and I still have no idea how I pulled off that word count and my brain is struggling to come up with something as epic as that creativity madness - sorry loves. But, anyway, I wanted to do a little something in the same spirit so thought I’d do a “one year later” sort of thing. Sorry, I’m blabbering, I’ll let you read prompt 23 now but remember this is YOU - as you are right here in this world - yet I will take a few minor liberties. Otherwise, I can’t write a functioning story. So, for the sake of that, I will assume that you live on your own (meaning you’re also an adult), that you celebrate Christmas (it is RICKMAS after all) and that you do not have the best of relationships with your family (those you celebrate Christmas with) which causes you mental harm during this festive holiday. I will take some other liberties too, obviously, as all Reader fics do but those are the major ones for this story.

I hope you’ll enjoy it! 🥰

(Also, sorry for bringing Christmas theme/feels to you during spring 😅)

Tags/TW’s: Dysfunctional Family, Mental Health, Setting Boundaries, Self-Care, Self-Love

Word Count: 1.1k+

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // AO3 // LINK TREE

There it was, the godforsaken text that came every fucking year. Every. Damn. Year. But now, things were different. You weren’t going to take it anymore, enough was enough. It never turned out any differently when you celebrated Christmas with your family, it always left you raw and drained. For weeks you felt dread creep in as Christmas loomed closer.

“Not this year,” you whispered while glaring at your phone. Then you tapped out your reply, informing your relatives that you were in fact not coming. That you would not be spending Christmas with them and that you wished them a happy holiday but you were no longer going to subject yourself to their scrutiny and disrespect.

Once you hit ‘send’, fear filled you. Your hands began to shake, your stomach turned into a lump of heavy coal, and you felt all colour drain from your face. Nothing happened for the longest minute of your life. You just looked at the glowing screen, waiting.

It lit up like a Christmas tree, a flood of text messages came in and then it began to ring. It never stopped. It just rang and rang while you held it in your hand, seeing the names of all those who had been forced upon you by blood relations yet were nothing like a family should be appear over and over.

“I’m not doing this,” you said, and without even looking at the messages screaming at you for not attending Christmas, for disrespecting your family, for hurting your grandparents and siblings, for being the worst child a parent could have, you turned the phone off.

You just turned it off.

They were far away, they couldn’t get to you. Even if they were to get themselves all the way over they wouldn’t be able to get in any way. If they forced themselves in you could call the police on them for trespassing. You were just not going to accept the bullshit they spat at you, the hurt and torment you lived through in their proximity or for them to unravel all the work you had done with yourself, to accept and love yourself, since last Christmas.

“This is all your fault, Plex. And I am so thankful even if this is beyond fucking hard,” you said to the empty home while remembering the experience of a lifetime from last Christmas. How you got to visit all those men you loved and adored, how they loved and adored you in return. But, beyond that, were the parting words I had offered you afterwards.

You never ever thought you’d be able to memorise such a thing but each and every day hence the words had been repeated in your mind, the sparkling letters in mid-air as clear in your head as they had been a year ago when the little star had erupted. You saw them now, in your mind.

‘…Just as you told Christopher, Richard and Severus - you too deserve more. You are worthy of more. Of love and care, of honesty and devotion. From others but above all from yourself. The only thing permanent in your life, is you. You and only you. So take care of yourself, have a party for yourself and celebrate the fact that you are beautiful in all your complex, diverse and wonderful uniqueness…’

“I am worthy of love, and I am the most important person in my life,” you said while drawing a deep breath. “And I am going to have a party for myself this year. Just for me,” you continued while hiding away your phone and heading off to the kitchen. It was Christmas, they would not ruin it again for you. I must confess myself so utterly proud of you in that moment. I didn’t mean to spy on you or anything of the sort but I knew how much you had struggled, how life had gotten you down over and over — the past year being no different even if it was simultaneously completely different.

You know, there is nothing quite like watching someone grow and find love within themselves. Like you were working so hard on, and I felt such joy seeing you get all your favourite snacks ready while telling yourself that you deserved it. That you would eat whatever you wished, do whatever you wanted and not feel guilty about it.

You got yourself comfortable by the TV, everything you needed for a real binge night was ready as you clicked on the remote and the screen came to life, filling the room with light. You fiddled with the braid of string around your wrist while wondering what movie to start with. The memories of last Christmas were still so vivid in your mind, so you already knew that whatever movie you were putting on would be one of his.

I watched from afar, keeping myself hidden but readying my magical pen and the ink of wonder that had constantly been refilled each and every time you did something good to yourself, each time you set a boundary through the year to protect your mental health, each time you said no despite the pressure to say yes, each time you made yourself feel good about yourself and removed something harmful from your life.

Each time you grew, so did the amount of ink at my disposal. Not that you’d known that during the year. But you see, that’s the thing about caring for oneself. You don’t see it at first, you don’t notice the tiny improvements as they happen, you don’t notice that it’s easier to wake up in the morning or to be lazy once in a while when there usually is so much guilt involved in relaxing — it all happened so gradually, small steps, and then suddenly, when you look back at all those little things you did for yourself, there has been a major shift in your life. You just didn’t consider how big a change several tiny little things could become.

I’m still waiting for it to happen.

The final thing, the last little drop of ink to fill my inkhorn and release the bond on my magic.

“Fuck it,” you said and raised the remote towards the TV, “I’ll watch all of them. This is my Christmas and I will spend it however I want. I’m going to cherish my own joy and the world can stick it if that’s wrong.” You clicked on the remote and a glowing blue star appeared on the table in front of you, you unleashed my magic once more with your care and love — for yourself.

Masterlist page // Masterlist post // AO3 // LINK TREE

A/N: Well, well, well… Aren’t we excited all of a sudden? 👀

H-hey, oy, stop yelling at me! Go do some things for yourself or tell yourself words of affirmation so I can get enough ink to do the next prompt instead! If I’m to have enough magical ink to write the next prompt you need to help out darling!

Tell me something in the comments you’ve done recently for yourself and your health - be it physically or mentally - and if you haven’t done anything you can go drink a glass of water or read a fic that makes you smile and tell me about that 💚

Taglist: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie @setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @sunnylikesfrogs @mamawolfsmith16 @dianilaws @sassanoe @leah1243 @reinekefoxart @reiketsunomizunomegami @lokisbjchn

Want to be tagged? 💚 You can tag yourself HERE! Or tell me and I’ll gladly tag you! 😍

[Dec:2022]

[otakween]

Zero Men - Volume 1

Now that I've finished 0-Sen Hayato, this manga was next on the list, another oldie. At least this time it's by the Godfather of all manga, Osamu Tezuka. I think this is his first work I've ever read??? Apparently no one cares about it because there's very little English material on it. Oh well, the main character is cute!

Ch. 1

Omg I'm loving this so far! The art is so dynamic and cute and the dialogue is really colorful too. The protagonist Ricky is adorable ;w; I love his tail.

That was a pretty badass and hilarious opening with the two soldiers fighting a pointless war while also low key bonding over a baby they saved.

Ricky crying when his dad told him his tail was something to be ashamed of broke my damn heart! Glad the dad isn't fully evil though. Just misguided...

Kind of weird that the dad is like "I swear I'll find you a doctor!" Like dude...you've had many years to do that and it probably would have been easier when the kid was an infant.

Ch. 2

Obvious parental death is obvious. Ricky sure got over it quick lol.

So, so far we know that 0 men can survive extreme temperatures, are really fast learners, and have great agility. I think this is an Elfen Lied scenario where they're supposed to be "evolved humans." Making them squirrel like was kind of a weird choice but oh well.

The professor's design where he basically just has a cloud for a head reminds me of Dr. Uranus from Cyborg 009. Peak old dude character design lol.

Losing one dad and then instantly meeting your real dad is pretty wild. The emotional whiplash made it all feel kind of rushed and silly. It's nice that Ricky doesn't feel like a freak anymore tho. Kind of an ugly duckling story.

Ch. 3

Woah, suddenly the story gets very different. Forget the evil scientists, it's time for robot demons apparently! New bad guys are Enma (Buddhist God of Hell) and Satan. Fun for the whole family!

Enma kinda looks like one of the guards from Squid Game lol, simple but menacing

The scene where Enma and Satan make an entire lighthouse disappear and the keep jumps out to save his life was effectively frightening. I wonder if that guy will come back as a witness?

All of Tokyo is ripped apart and put back together in like an hour and everyone just shrugs it off!? I know Japanese people can be complacent, but not THAT complacent!

This chapter felt like an anti-communist message with every house being exactly the same but "something's missing." I googled it and apparently Tezuka was a communist, but only for a short time before he changed his tune, so it's still possible that's what he was going for.

Ch. 4

So apparently the professor is a good guy now (despite first impressions) as he teams up with Ricky to investigate Enma.

We learn that 0-men are closer biologically to squirrels than they are to humans...riiight. The adults definitely looked more squirrel-like at least.

Pretty savage of the professor to shoot up his friend with a gun to "check if he's human" (including a shot to the head!?) Reminds me of the original Stepford Wives when the MC stabs her friend in the crotch.

The way Tezuka draws the prime minister feels very Looney Tunes. He's very rubbery.

Ch. 5

This manga is very text heavy so the average chapter takes me a bit to get through. Luckily, the Japanese has been very easy so far! (Rare for an older manga...)

Ricky and the Professor escape the clutches of King Enma who was planning to kill them if they didn't reveal the whereabouts of the 0 men. They end up in the forest where Ricky finds his mom and dad again. They ask Ricky to return to their country with them but he turns them down because he's vowed to be an "ally of humanity."

I can see why King Enma wears a mask...he's pretty dweeby looking under there. I like his mad scientist hair though. The fact that his face is a little disfigured gives Darth Vader vibes.

Ch. 6

Ricky and the professor try to alert the public about King Enma's take over. People start to be swayed, but then Enma just kills anyone who tries to join the resistance, so they don't get very far. By the end of the chapter Ricky is captured again by another power hungry person after the 0 men. Gdi Ricky...

I know it's for plot convenience but Ricky's tail pops out so easily that you'd think they'd come up with a better strategy for hiding it than stuffing it into his pants by now.

Ch. 7

Ricky splits up from the professor and finds himself captive on a boat. His 0 men parents come to save the day (apparently this was like a 0 men slave ship) and they knock out their captors.

Ricky just did a dramatic goodbye to his parents in chapter 6 and now he's back with them again? Make up your mind, story!

I was proud that I was able to read the kanji 船長. The videos I've watched of Marine-Senchou (vtuber) helped me out with that one.

We end the chapter in the jungle of the Himalayas. Maybe we'll learn more about 0 man culture?

Ch. 8

Uhhh wtf!? Ricky's dad just dies in an avalanche and they're like "meh, whatever!" Seriously Ricky and his mom recovered from that way too quickly. He might not really be dead, but they believe he is!!

It was cool seeing how the 0 men have been evading humans by living in a place that's only reachable by their species. That felt believable. I bet their land is nicer than the weird place Ricky was living before anyways. No dictators (I hope lol)

Ch. 9

Lol my previous statement was immediately proven wrong in this chapter. Ricky basically went from living in 1984 to Brave New World. I quickly went from enjoying learning about 0 men culture to being like...oh...that's not good.

Kind of confusing that Ricky's mom would intentionally bring her son into this world if she knew how messed up it was? She even is like "here's our apartment where we'll live as a big happy family" but then Ricky learns that kids are separated from their parents super early in this world and sent to live in a children's village. Like...did she not think of that??

Why was chapter 9 like 3 times longer than chapter 8? Well, I've been enjoying the kanji reading challenge. This manga has no furigana...

Ch. 10

Man this story is cyclical. They escape, they get captured, they escape, they get captured. Tezuka also seems to have ditched who I thought was the main villain for now. Will this whole thing be episodic or will we get a real plot?

They come across some yeti in their travels who say "yeti yeti" like Pokémon lol. I wouldn't mind seeing them make friends with all the cryptids, but the visit was very short.

Ricky's mom asking him to shoot her tail off with a gun was pretty dark. It does seem like it would make their lives a lot easier to remove their tails (in hopefully a less painful way), but I guess it's the principle of it.

Dude at they end looked like a Cyborg 009 character with his giant buttons and fancy hair haha.

Ch. 11

And just like that we gain another random party member (and Ricky's mom gains her 2nd adopted son in like 2 chapters). Ricky and Pete bond over their daddy issues.

I was wrong, they did bring Enma back. He reveals that his new, Communist version of Tokyo was inspired by the 0 man way of living, so I guess that explains that.

Like I said, we're going in circles here. Now we're back to looking for the professor Ricky befriended in earlier chapters. After the gang finds a safe place to live, then what? Are they going to save the world from oppressive regimes? Is the goal to just be a normal, happy family?

Ch. 12

So apparently the professor they eventually find is some kind of fake (even though he passed Ricky's needle test). Can Tezuka decide if this dude is a good guy or a bad guy already!?

Kinda funny how when they found a safe place to hide out they're like "now let's confront the evil people!" Like...weren't you running to hide from the evil people? Well I guess heroes gotta hero.

Ch. 13

So now it's doomsday via Mt. Fuji erupting. Although the gang succeeded in destroying Satan's clone factory, they now need to worry about the fate of humanity.

The version of this that I got from Bookwalker is 4 volumes but MAL has it at 7 volumes, so this must be an omnibus. I wonder where the original volume 1 cut off?

That first volume was kind of all over the place. The plot progression didn't feel all that natural, but I think this was one of those stories that was supposed to be a one-off and then got expanded, so whatever. Let's see where things go in volume 2...

[dredshirtroberts]

So.

So...

Either my dad finally really read the last thing I sent along, or he and mom are pissy because I'm only cutting off contact with the pair of them, and not my little sister. Regardless I finally have lost access to the old email address(es) as well as the family spotify subscription and I'm going to go ahead and assume the netflix access is gone as well. It only took him...2.5 weeks. Huh. Consistent.

Other than the consistent timing between when I state a boundary and when they test the boundary, the timing is....conspicuously suspicious.

You see, today is my little sister's birthday. And I sent her a happy birthday message. I have not sent any relevant messages to other family members yet this year, except for her and our cousin who shares the birthday, because i'm consistently bad at remembering birthdays except for like. a few. I'm doing steps to remember better but I'm just bad at it. I accidentally missed my aunt's birthday, but i deliberately skipped my mom's, and I wasn't going to do anything for dad's. I also hadn't done an iota for mother *or* father's day.

So maybe it was a little petty and strategic on my part to wish my sister Happy Birthday - but I sent it via normal text message. I had no reason to believe it would get back to my parents that I'd done it. And I doubt she realized that letting them know I was still in contact with *her* would piss them off enough to start the chain of removing me from the group family stuff. Like the email server.

The last time the two of them "checked" my boundary to make sure it was solid, I'd just unfriended them both on Facebook - not even blocking yet, just unfriending, and then all of the sudden messages from them very shortly thereafter. About 6 hours, actually.

Which is about how long it was between my sister acknowledging my message to her and when I started seeing my access getting removed from stuff.

Their patterns of behavior are unbelievably consistent, and frankly i'd be impressed if it wasn't always to my detriment.

Idk, I'm...hurt? I'm hurt. I mean I expected this to happen, which is why I spent a whole day going through all of my emails and accounts to double check what was assigned to which email address and changing it all as best I could. There were a couple things I couldn't figure out how to swap but like. At this point, there are other ways to get into contact with me, and frankly I just...can't care? not about that anyway.

It's more like...if this is what you were going to do, why didn't you do it right after I told you to fuck off? Why wait around? it's been posited that they likely thought they were holding some sort of power over me by being able to remove my access to those things but like...i already had alternatives? I already planned for this. I am 30 years old, and have access to all my own shit now (or access to other peoples' shit that they're willing to share with me), i don't actually like...need their help with those things?

Besides the fact that if I needed Help I would wait until the very last possible minute to ask for that help, because no one fucking helped me when i would ask before.

I don't know. I forgot I was doing this and stepped away and also started working on my resume so i can pay the like. 2 bills i have and get gas and maybe be able to buy myself nice things? idk.

i'm mad. i'm sad. i'm smad. i'm done. idk.

[iloveprettyboysblog]

Devour, Part Six

A/N: JJ's toxic home life. Age Gap Romance. Older Woman/Younger Man(keeping it legal according to NC 's laws). Eventual Smut.

Sunday Morning. 6 am. Doing the walk of shame to my front door. I quietly open it and slide in. Hoping not to wake my dad. He's usually passed out on the couch, empties surrounding him. But he surprised me by being sober and awake, waiting for me.

"Missed you this weekend. Spoke with some of your teachers. Seems like you're doing well in school." I don't bother telling him that parent teacher conferences are a complete waste of time. Especially in high school, my dad's always gone. I'd rather he skip it.

He looks over his shoulder at me, as I make my way to my room. "Your history teacher, what's her name?" My heart starts thumping in my chest. So loud that I think he can hear it. "Ms. Cooper. " We look at each other in silence until he says, "She's a knockout. I'm telling you, teachers never looked that good when I was in school. "

He laughs a little and I think that he can sense that he's making me mad. I don't like him talking about Marni that way, thinking that she's pretty. "She had nothing but good things to say about you. "

He looks at me expectantly, I lamely reply with, "I like history more than I thought I would. " His voice is dripping with innuendo, "Right. Well, I like her." I don't know what to say so I just say the first thing that comes to mind. "She's old, " I blurt out. "Old? She's probably not even thirty yet. That's not old. Believe me. "

Something inside me snaps and I can't help what comes out of my mouth. "You want to date her?" He shakes his head no, "Of course not. " I feel relieved deep down. I have no idea what he does when he's not at home. He could have another family and I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

He at least has the good sense to look uncomfortable as I finally make my great escape to my room. I push a pile of dirty clothes off my bed and onto the floor. The whole place is a mess, but I don't really care. Lately, I feel like I can't concentrate. Like I have a wild animal living inside my chest and it wants out.

It feels like a gnawing sensation, like my skin is on fire and inside out. John B says that I need to get laid, I can only rub one out in the shower so many times. The girls at school bore me. All except for her. I kick the pile of dirty clothes into the middle of the room, making a mental note to throw a load in before tonight is over.

I can't go to school and sit in front of Marni's desk smelling like ass. I wait until I hear my dad leave and I think about him drooling over her. It pisses me off, he's way too old to be lusting after her. I plug in my cellphone and once it gets enough battery power, I have nine new messages waiting for me.

I haven't checked it since last night, I scroll through the messages, two from Kie, one from JB. Some junk mail and one from an unknown number with a NC area code, I almost delete it until something tells me to open it. When I finally read it, I don't believe what it says so I read it again. The time stamp says a little past two in the morning.

Unknown Number: Hey JJ. I hope you don't mind me texting you, I'm aware that it's risky, I know. If you ever want to share a coffee with me, just to talk let me know. Reply with a time and date. Please delete this after reading. ~M~

I'm too busy deleting her message but saving her contact information under a different name that I don't stop to think about how she could have gotten my phone number.

It's three in the morning and I can't sleep, I'm laying in my bed watching the moon through the tree tops and my alarm clock is staring at me. Like it knows that I have to be to work in less than three hours. I've cleaned my apartment from top to bottom, twice. Cleaned out my closet and made a donation pile. Browsed the internet and returned some texts.

Watched a movie, tried to fall asleep a dozen times. All that's on is old infomercials, like who would actually spend their hard earned money on that crap? I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. It itches, I feel like I'm burning up so I take an ice bath. Nothing helps.

I think about JJ. His blue eyes haunt me. He's mentioned his father a few times, but he refuses to talk about his mom. I've heard some whispers or rumors about JJ's family life: alcoholic father, absentee mother. No siblings.

The high school gym teacher, Mr. Mathers asked me out on a date. I almost laughed in his face. I see the way that the male faculty members look at me: like i'm a piece of meat and they're wolves, ready to pounce and devour me. Disgusting. They're all disgusting middle aged men who think that a woman owes them something. A date to them equals sex. They're so transparent.

My thoughts keep on going back to JJ. To his youth and beauty. He intrigues me, behind his smart-ass persona, behind his laid back surfer boy exterior there's something ready to snap. I have to be careful.

I pick up my phone and browse through Facebook. Nothing grabs my attention. I put the phone back on the coffee table and stand up and stretch. I pace back and forth and drink a glass of wine, hopefully it'll put me to sleep. I halfway watch some old black and white movie until my alarm goes off and I begin to dress for the day.

My phone goes off with a text message and all that I can see is the word URGENT in bold letters. It's JJ, I read his reply sent at 5:50 this morning. He gives me the answer I was hoping he would.

Friday night finally rolls around and I do exactly what Marni told me to. I wait at the bus stop and wait for her to pull up, I get into her car and we go into a part of town where no one could recognize us. We end up at a little hole in the wall coffee shop, it's dark and the walls are lined with privacy booths. Blue lights are over the bar, turning the place the color of the ocean: deep and mysterious. Mellow jazz music wafts over the speakers, the smell of coffee permeates the air.

We didn't talk much on the way over and now that we're here I notice that my palms are sweaty and my mouth is dry. Marni slides into the seat across from me, asks me what I want as the waitress approaches our booth. I stare at the menu with it's various fancy coffees with weird names like Devil's Delight, Vanilla Bean, Triple Whammy, Red Hot Chilli Pepper Surprise. I can't focus. "I like the Italian Stallion, it's a special blend of beans from a tiny town in Italy and black licorice. It's really good. "

"Sounds good to me, " I say. Hoping that my voice doesn't crack. It holds strong. The waitress takes our order and Marni adds a slice of triple chocolate cake and two forks. She winks at me and I smile in return.

I slide the menu back behind the napkin dispenser on the table, my hands are under the table to hide how nervous she makes me. I look at her from across the booth and for the first time that night, our eyes connect. She looks at me and says, "I'm glad you came."

"Me too." I inwardly cringe as my wit and charm fail me. How do I talk to her? She turns my insides into a pile of jelly and makes my blood run hot. I doubt that she listens to the music that I like. I can't think of anything to talk about.

"You're kinda quiet. Is everything okay?" She covers my hands with hers. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, JJ. I just want to get to know you a little bit better. I want to enjoy your company. I completely understand if you don't want-"

"No! No. I- I'm just not sure. I - I mean, this is cool. I don't want to leave or anything. I just don't know what to say. "

"You never seem to struggle with words when you take me on in the classroom. " I can tell by her small smile that she's teasing me, and I feel like I can relax. "Well, let's talk about world history- how about them Huns?" I get a small laugh and I feel relief. This might not be that difficult at all.

"That's the JJ I want to know. " The drinks come and then the dessert. I grab a fork and take a bite. "This is really good. " Her smile gets bigger. "I should have ordered two slices. "

Embarrassment creeps up my neck and I'm glad that it's dark. "I'll buy us another one. " She slices off a piece and slides it between her plump lips. "Don't be silly, I just wanted a taste. " I watch her red, red lips the whole time.

We get lost in easy conversation until she brings up my parents. I told her that I'm left alone a lot. I don't know why I told her that. I don't think that she cares about stuff like that.

She mentions my grades and she sounds like my teacher. The cozy feelings evaporate between us. She mentions that her parents are divorced and it dawns on me that she thinks that my parents are divorced. I tell her that my mom is deceased and Marni looks shocked and then sympathy takes over.

"I'm so sorry, JJ. I had no idea-" "I don't talk about her much. " She nods her head " I can tell that this is painful for you. " I lean back in the booth and lace my fingers behind my head. "Naw, I don't really remember her because it happened a long time ago, I think that I was two at the time. " Emotions are starting to claw their way up my throat and I push them down. "I don't even know what she looks like. "

She leans toward me and takes my hand in hers. "Well, you are an intelligent and charming young man. " I feel my insides turn into mush. Marni's so stunning. I just want to lean over and kiss her.

I give Marni a smile; Kie calls it my "hook, line and sinker" smile. "I have you on my hook and now I'm going to reel you in " smile. I know whatever I'm doing is working and I turn it on high beam for her. All dimples and blue eyes.

I think of Kie, who's mother plays twenty questions every time she tries to leave the house, and Pope's dad, who sends out a search party every time Pope's fifteen minutes late.

Marni sips her coffee. I watch her, feeling more comfortable and totally into the here and now. The gap between us has closed a little more; I can forget that she's my teacher. We listen to music and she slides into the seat next to me. Something about not being able to see the band. Our thighs are touching, I feel like I'm being electrocuted. All I can smell is her perfume and it makes my jeans grow tighter and I hope that she doesn't notice.

She's staring at the band as if she doesn't know what effect she has on me. I swallow a mouthful of coffee and it burns my tongue. The pain distracts me from running my fingers up her thigh.

The house band starts wrapping up and Marni says, "We should go before it gets any later." I could stay with her all night, but I agree with her. It's almost 11.

Once we're in her car, Marni says, "I'll drop you off at the end of your street. Is that okay?" I nod, feeling the gap between us getting wider. I don't have a car and I hate feeling like a child.

She stops at the end of my street. "Here you go. Four houses down on the left. Sorry delivery can't be to your door, but better safe than sorry." I nod, opening the door. "I had a lot of fun. Thank you. " I settle on the word " fun" because "mind blowing " would be doing too much. "So did I. "

I get out, wishing I didn't have to leave her. She leans over towards the passenger window, "Maybe we can hang out again sometime. " I quickly take her up on her offer, and my eyes drift down to her breasts, straining against her sweater. "Next time, my treat. "

She laughs. "Absolutely. " I watch her drive away, shoving my hands into my pockets and head for my house. It's not until I'm in my room getting ready for bed that it hits me-she never had to ask me for directions. She drove me straight home, she knew what house was mine, as if she's been here before.

[laniquelovlie]

First Time! We all have them whether you’re gay or straight. And if your first time was anything like mine, it’s a moment you’ll always remember. I was young when I experienced it for the first time. Not a perverted young age, so guys relax and feel free to stop reading here. For those who dare to read on, hold on to your seat because this is going to be one hell of a ride. I was in the middle of my teenage years. Granted, that’s still not an okay age to be on my back. Since I was still technically a virgin afterward, I don’t see it as such a big, disgusting deal.

A person’s first time is one of the most special moments in their life – at least it should be. My first sexual experience was with my best friend at the time, BriAnna. This was roughly eight years ago. We were the same age, but she had already made her rounds through every freshman boy in Philly. Amongst my group of friends, we’ve always debated whether it’s best to share your first time with another virgin or be with a partner who has experience. I was always neutral to the idea – who was I to say what someone should do during their first sexual voyage?

That’s until I had that wild, unbelievable, and flat out crazy night with BriAnna. I remember it like it was yesterday and each detail still gives me chills. School was a major pain in the ass, public transportation was running slow, and – to make things even worse – it was the middle of heat blasting July. All I wanted was to see a friendly face. BriAnna was loud, loved to swear, ate anything and everything without gaining a pound, had a weird craving for cucumbers, and gave slaps in the face more than high fives. All my pleasant friends were busy or out of town. I didn’t want to go home, so BriAnna was my next best thing.

I had made it a habit to strip out of my school shirt as soon as I could. It was a tacky gray, half cotton, half wool shirt with the school’s name stitched across the left chest. Even with short sleeves that shirt was thick and nasty to wear in the summer. I often wore a tank top underneath that hideous sweat maker, but on this exact day I only had a bra on. In the back of the air conditioned bus, I slipped my arms out the sleeves of the shirt and pulled my denim jacket up underneath it. I notice a few onlookers as I lift my shirt over my head – a frowning granny, jealous teen moms, and some perverted guys from school. What more can I do but wink while buttoning up my jacket.

The bus got empty as quickly as it was filled with high school students. The beaming sun made everyone lazy and anxious to get out from under its rays. Kids were leaping onto buses just to avoid walking down the street. My stop was near the end of the route, so I had nothing better to do than text my mom. It was a modest message telling her I wasn’t going to be home for a while – detention will be occupying my time. She didn’t pry about it and sent a simple “K!” back. It was only 3:30pm, and the sun wasn’t going down anytime soon. Still, moments like that remind me of the Do You Know Where Your Children Are? message that used to pop up before the 10pm news. New century; same clueless parents.

The end of the road was near and the low hum of the bus’ engine was putting me to sleep. I used to be a pain in the ass when it came to naptime back in kindergarten. I’m so mad I took those precious 45 minutes for granted. The uptight high school I went to didn’t even allow us to shut our eyes without a teacher “rewarding” us with a demerit once we reopened them. If not for the message coming through on my cell phone, I would have fallen asleep and missed my stop. I rang the bell and stepped out the thin double doors as I opened the message.

“Why are guys such dicks?” Damn. It was BriAnna.

I was so busy huffing that I was stuck with her, it really never crossed my mind to ask BriAnna in advance if she had plans. And here I was, a block from her house – miles from my own – and she was reaching out to me with men troubles. Is it too late to hop back on the bus? I ask myself a little bit too late. The doors shut behind me long ago, and the bus is up the street making its next stop. Mines well continue to her house. If she talked about whatever boy it was this time to piss her off for more than thirty minutes I would declare that detention ended early. Spending time with my nutty family would be better than hearing about Mike or Deon or Troy or Richard or Floyd or whoever.

Soon I was standing outside of BriAnna’s house, peeking inside through the screen door. I could hear screaming and dozens of curse words flying left and right. From my spot at the door, I could see BriAnna running up and down the stairs while debating with some guy on the house’s speaker phone. Each time she came downstairs she was cradling a box overflowing with junk in her arms. She dropped each at the base of the stairs as she called the guy a bastard. He said she should have known what she was getting into when they met. BriAnna started to scream louder as she repeated everything this guy ever said to her.

“You said you were going to leave her. What happened to that? Were you just lying to sleep with me?”

He sighed with a hint of laughter hidden behind his breath. When she heard that BriAnna continued to go off. He silenced her by yelling that she was a “crazy bitch”. A classic – and very unoriginal – line that men use to label us emotional females. Once he played that card, BriAnna ended the conversation. Granted, she did it the only way a “crazy bitch” would. She picked the house phone up off its base and threw it at the screen door. The battery pack popped out and the button lights went dark. Why did all the happy friends have to be bought? I took that as a sign to turn and leave.

“How long have you been here?” But she caught me. Opening the screen door, BriAnna stepped out on her porch barefoot. “Were you standing out here listening?”

“No. I was knocking for like five minutes.” Lying comes so naturally to me sometimes; my mom blames my dad for the negative trait. “I guess you didn’t hear all the yelling.”

“You could have come in. You know the door is never locked.”

“Yeah, I know. But the door shielded me from your phone attack, so I was smart to stay out there.” I followed her lead into the living room.

“It was smart to stay outside in the heat?”

“It’s no different here. Your mom doesn’t allow you to turn the air conditioner on.”

She leaped onto the couch, extremely hype about her tiny shorts and transparent top. “At least in my house you can take off your boxy uniform. Can’t do that outside.”

“Who says” I pulled at the open top of my jacket, giving her a peek at the bra and skin underneath.

“What?” BriAnna finally sits down. “Miss Conservative took it off on a Septa bus. What’s next for the bad girl?”

I sit down on the opposite end of the couch. “Ha ha. You’re so funny. Have you been drinking?”

“No, but I want to after dealing with that ass.”

I don’t wanna ask, but the question spills out. “Who’s the ass this week?”

“Deon.”

“Oh. An oldie but a goodie.”

She whines. “And he was sooo good.”

I shake my head. “So what happened now?”

“What do you mean ‘now’? Are you trying to say this is my fault? Are all my breakups my fault?”

Yes. “No. It’s always the boys’ fault.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Thank God! I was fed up with this story way back when she texted me. I really should have ran up the street to catch the bus.

The TV has been stuck on the guide since I showed up at BriAnna’s house. Based on the highlighted channel, I’d say she was ready to click on some housewife junk when Deon called. I grip the remote before BriAnna completely returns to earth and presses play on the show. I was almost hit by a phone; I wasn’t about to suffer through an hour or more of whiny, catty women.

“You are not about to put cartoons on my TV.” She reaches for the remote.

I pull it away from her hand. “Anything is better than grown women acting like children on national television.”

“Put on something we both like.”

That only left one of the dozens of music video channels. One channel was doing a Rihanna takeover for the next few hours, so that was the obvious choice. We sang two songs while talking shit about each other’s voices. I’m laughing; she’s laughing. To any stranger that might have seen us, they’d swear we were drunk or high off our asses. BriAnna tried to hit a high note, and I covered my ears while mocking her poor vocals.

“You can’t sing either.” She pulled my hands from my ears.

“I sound better than you, though.”

She kept a tight grip on my hands, then – all of a sudden – it happened. While I was in the middle of laughing at her, BriAnna leaned in and shut me up with a kiss. It was intense and the way she pressed her soft lips against mine was a little aggressive. Her eyes were closed, but my eyes were wide open. Paralyzed to the touch, I just let her lips move over mine as I searched her face for some emotion. It all just came so natural to her while I was damn near panicking inside.

I guess I didn’t know BriAnna as well as I thought. I’d only been friends with her for two years. I never believe rumors – only what I can see for myself – but not even rumors could have warned me about this. She seemed comfortable with what was happening. BriAnna was the same perverted, sexual creature I saw when she was around guys. She has always been a freak and never one to say “No” to an attractive guy. But girls? Is this just an experiment? Has she been with other girls before?

BriAnna suddenly opens her eyes and pulls back, releasing my hands in the process. “What’s wrong?”

I was dumbfounded. “Bitch, you just kissed me.”

“I know. You didn’t kiss me back.”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to.”

“When people kiss you, you just sit there?”

I giggled a little. “People don’t just kiss me.”

“I’ve seen you kiss tons of guys.”

“No, you haven’t.”

She nodded. “Yes, I have. Just last weekend you kissed that guy.”

“I don’t know what you saw but-”

“Okay, shut up. I just kissed you. What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “What am I supposed to do?”

“I’m going to kiss you again. Act like you know what you’re doing.”

She followed through on her part. I was a bit slow catching on to what she wanted. My hands were numb at my sides while hers caressed my face. Before this day I had barely kissed a guy, and I’m sure pecks from relatives do not count as “make out sessions”. Nothing could have prepared me for that moment. Even after her little warning about the second kiss, I was still left in the dark. Nevertheless, as stunned as I was, I didn't want her to stop. I had to start responding to her or she’d stop. If BriAnna stopped a second time, I knew she wasn’t going to do it again. BriAnna was often the hunted, not the hunter. She wouldn’t tolerate this role reversal for too long.

It took some time – much longer than I’d care to admit – but I steadily began to engage in the kiss. A complete first timer to the whole ordeal, I looked to her for guidance and mocked each move she made. She parted her lips and mine did the same. I let her suck on my bottom lip before I sucked on hers. When BriAnna slid her tongue into my mouth, I slid my tongue up against hers. It was this wet push and pull with the two muscles battling for the upper hand. I must have been doing something right because she began to release soft – almost whimpering – sounds from her throat.

BriAnna wanted to be touched even though she never said the words. Instead, she gripped my hands and put them on her legs. The feeling rushed back to my fingertips as my hands rested on the bare flesh just beneath the hem of her skimpy shorts. While I was timid with my actions, she was bold and knew exactly what to do. She shifted closer to me on the couch as she kissed her way down my neck. BriAnna pressed her body against mine until she had me lying on my back. I tried to relax when I felt her knee forcing its way between my tightly clamped thighs. The kiss became more aggressive – BriAnna didn’t hold back when she bit my bottom lip – as she became frustrated with my bashful demeanor.

“I don’t want to stop.” She released my lip from her grip to whisper, “But I will if you don’t participate.”

Her hands moved down my sides – feeling her way over my hips. I could feel her heavy chest pressing against mine and then my stomach as she slithered further down. Using her hands, BriAnna pulled my legs apart and sat comfortably between them. A button popped clean off my jacket when she tore it open. I shivered when her warm, wet tongue touched the soft flesh of my cleavage. Everything new she did shocked me, yet I was enjoying the control she had on the situation.

BriAnna gripped the back of my neck with one hand to pull me forward. Her free hand reached beneath me, and she undid the clasp of my bra with one swift motion. Once she released the girls from their cotton prison, I found the will to “participate” more in the heated act. I’m still not sure what it was that came over me. I felt this massive weight being lightened up on my heart – literally. I sat up and pulled my jacket and bra off, throwing them both to the floor. BriAnna’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when I pulled her shirt up over her head. She was braless underneath the blue tank top, and her C cup breasts stood proud at attention. Now, we were both naked from the waist up.

“Don’t look at me like that.” I cupped her breasts, rubbing my thumbs over her dark-chocolate nipples. “You wanted me to participate more.”

I could hear the whimpers coming from her throat again as I sucked one of them into my mouth. BriAnna’s eyelids began to lower, yet she continued to watch my tongue circle around her areola. I pressed her luscious breasts together, bringing her nipples as close as they could possibly be. Licking back and forth between them, I finally heard a loud, vocalized gasp when I flicked my tongue over each nipple. BriAnna’s head fell back – it was loosely dangling from her neck – her short hair brushed over her shoulders.

BriAnna’s hips suddenly bucked against the air. I worshipped her breasts, and her head continued to roll as if her neck had snapped off its spine. She slid her hand down her shorts. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what her rapid hand movements meant – self pleasure. BriAnna gripped my hair with her other hand, pulling my head closer to her yearning body. She was begging me for more – not wanting me to stop. I hooked my fingers into the hem of her shorts, tugging them down the generous curve of her hips. I had never seen BriAnna naked before, but all of the rumors were true – she wasn’t a supporter of underwear.

I pulled her close, feeling her ample breasts and velvet flesh against mine. Her mouth sought mine as we slid together on the couch. Our limbs entwined as we tried to get as close as we possibly could. She was on top of me, and then I got on top of her while our tongues played together. BriAnna wrapped her legs around me; her strong thighs pulling my hips closer. Even through my cotton school pants, I could feel the heat from her pussy radiating against mine. It was almost too much for me to bear. My whole body was starting to respond to her. I liked what I was doing to her, but I wanted some attention myself. Gasping – and using the last bit of strength I had – I broke the kiss.

“I want you.” The words just flew from my mouth. I didn’t see it coming, nor did I have the power to prevent it.

BriAnna giggled, her thighs tightening their grip around me. “I know. I have that effect on men… and women alike.”

BriAnna pushed me back, forcing me to sit on my heels. She undid the button on my pants and didn’t care to pull down the zipper. Grounding her feet on the couch and sitting up in front of me, BriAnna pushed her hand into my opened pants and straight down my panties.

“You’re so wet,” she whispered, her finger probing between my swollen, lower lips.

“It’s your fault.”

I was excited from the moment she kissed me – completely aroused. But it wasn’t until her fingers touched my clit that I realized just how wet I actually was. I could hear my juices gushing over her hand. I pulled BriAnna closer, my hands drifting to her plump derriere, until her moving hand was trapped between both of our sexes. Her warm, moist lips continuously dabbed over my neck as her other hand pulled at my hair.

“I’m okay with that.”

I was biting my lip out of habit. I had mastered being quiet during private moments when I was home at night. You do what you have to with a meddlesome sister and “no knock” rule mom. But the faster BriAnna’s fingers moved over my throbbing clit the harder it was to stay mute. Every noise became louder. The gushing from my wet pussy; the moans erupting from my throat; and the whimpers coming from BriAnna. Her hips pressed forward, trying to bring her clit closer to her moving hand. So engulfed in my own satisfaction – focused on reaching my own orgasm – I barely paid her frantic movements any mind.

My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest all of a sudden. I couldn’t breathe. My gaping mouth was heavily panted; yet, there was not enough oxygen to fill my lungs. There was this intense feeling completely taking over me in an instant. One I wasn’t prepared for. Something similar to the dozens of times I had masturbated before, but this experience was a million times stronger. Coming on BriAnna’s hand was the best moment of my life. Back then that is. Almost like an out of body, being abducted by aliens, getting high for the first time type of moment. It’s the rush you’re constantly chasing, but the second and third time never compare to the first.

I hadn’t realized that until years later.

I gripped her tighter after that. It had nothing to do with love – I wasn’t that naïve – but as weak as I felt I wasn’t just going to drop her off my lap. I’m not a guy. Truthfully, I didn’t know what to expect next. I wouldn’t be able to handle awkward silence. If she suddenly pushed me away and made me get dressed, I’d be lost in a sea of confused emotions. I suddenly had a bunch of questions – ones my religious grandmother would kill me for even thinking. Still, I wasn’t ready to go home, so I hoped BriAnna wasn’t about to kick me out. I crossed my fingers, wanting the moment to last a little bit longer. On the upside, I got to lay my head on her breasts as I waited for her reaction. More comfortable than a plush pillow.

She shifted underneath me. I shivered as she withdrew her hand from between my legs. I lifted my head to see my juices glistening on my fingers. I thought she was going to rub her hand clean on the couch or one of the articles of clothing we threw on the floor. Instant, I was dumbfounded when she slurred her index and middle fingers into her mouth. My eyes opened wide, lips parted as I gasped, and the questioned continued to pile up in my head. BriAnna didn’t speak a word to me, even when she removed the fingers from her mouth. We were stuck in eye contact as she traced my lips with her soaked ring finger. The digit slipped into my opened mouth, and I could taste the tangy liquid covering it.

“I can see you and me having a lot of fun together.” She was – surprisingly – breathless as she came up from between my legs.

“Really? More than what we just did?”

BriAnna giggled. “That was just the beginning.”

“I really don’t know you like I thought.” I slid back the hair matted to my forehead by sweat.

She crawled up my body until her lips were inches from mine. “Did I open your eyes to something new?”

“You have no idea.”