#my problem is that i don't really know what a song is about until i look up the lyrics

[tobiasdrake]

Between the Galick Gun, The Final Flash, and the Final Explosion, which of these Vegeta moves is A: The Coolest B: The most representative of Vegeta and C: The most successful

Answering these in order:

A - Coolest: Final Explosion.

This is Peak Vegeta.

Not in the sense of being the most representative of Vegeta, but in the sense of... literally being the peak of his character arc. This is it. This is the apex of the journey that Vegeta had been on since the day we met him.

We don't know what the full plan was originally for the Majin Buu arc. We know that Gohan was supposed to remain the main character and we can see that play out. This arc sees Gohan off to his own Climbing Karin Tower arc.

It's the same thing Toriyama did a lot with Goku. Gohan's missing in action and is undergoing secret ultra-training so he can return at the 11th hour and slay Majin Buu; The rest of us just have to hold the line until he gets here.

This changed significantly later in the arc, when Toriyama decided he liked Goku better and flipped the script on poor Gohan. We don't know when exactly that decision was made or know for sure what the original plan would have looked like.

But it's interesting to note that Vegeta only came back with Goku. Vegeta's return was a tool to reignite Goku's relevancy.

There is a real possibility that, had things gone according to the original plan, this would have genuinely been Vegeta's swan song. So with something like this, it's important to ask the question. What if this was it?

What if this were the final word on the Saiyan Prince?

It's not about what would be better or what would be worse. Just. If we never saw Vegeta again after this point, would we be satisfied? Would we feel that the story had said all there was to say? Would we need any more?

For me, I could have lived with this. If this was where Vegeta ended, I could have walked away satisfied with it. This was a powerful capstone on the story of an incredibly flawed man. A heroic sacrifice by a man who finally found something worth dying for, but whose heroism is tainted by the ugly reality that he made this problem to begin with; Itself a meaningful summation of the complicated and morally compromised life that he lived.

It did not end up being the final word. But it could have been, and it's no less beautiful for the later series walking back on it.

B - Most Representative: Final Flash

This is the technique that truly captures the spirit of Vegeta's martial style. In his heart of hearts, Vegeta's a blaster. He can fight hand-to-hand, to be sure. He's no slouch at it. But he loves to shoot, moreso than any other character.

He has multiple different named techniques for "Shoot the guy with concentrated ki REALLY HARD." Galick Gun, Big Bang Attack, Final Flash, they're all concentrated blasts. Vegeta likes to shoot.

I talked about this quite a bit before in my breakdown of Goku and Vegeta. Vegeta muscles through like a soldier, but his ki blasts legitimately are the most powerful ki blasts around (with possible exception of the Kikoho/Tri-Beam).

Final Flash perfectly encapsulates that, as an attack that could very well have vaporized Cell and ended things before the Cell Games were even an idea in his head... had Vegeta been willing to destroy the Earth to do it.

Given the damage we see it do to Cell, a wider beam would have been as catastrophic for him as it was for the planet.

This technique, moreso than the other two, best encapsulates Vegeta's style as a fighter.

C - Most Successful: Galick Gun

Both Final Flash and Final Explosion are powerful moments for Vegeta, but if we're talking effectiveness then they're held back by the fact that they achieved nothing.

Majin Buu and Cell both regenerated and kept on going like it didn't happen. In strictly utilitarian terms, Final Flash and Final Explosion both failed.

Galick Gun lost the exchange Vegeta used it in.

But it won him the fight. Goku had to push his Kaio-ken to x4 in order to pull this off, and that was a step too far for his body to handle.

At this point, Goku's cooked. He's still got ki to spare, certainly. He's not out of the fight completely.

But his body simply can't keep up anymore. His whole body is fried. Imagine a balloon that's been overinflated to the point that starts springing holes in it for the gas to spill out. That's Goku. That is his body.

It needs to be said that the Fake Moon/Oozaru trick did most of the heavy lifting for winning this fight for Vegeta. Like. Goku had no chance against this thing. Remember when Goku fired up his Kaio-ken and made Captain Ginyu shit himself?

180,000 is also the exact Battle Power of Vegeta's Oozaru form. True facts. At least, in the best of circumstances. Having to use the Fake Moon technique costs Vegeta a substantial enough amount of ki for it to be worth commenting on.

(Fun fact, Raditz was so weak that even as an Oozaru, he'd get his teeth kicked in by base form Vegeta.)

So. Yeah. The fact that Vegeta was an Oozaru is the key factor in his absolute shitstomp of Goku that followed the Beam Struggle. But the fact that Goku's entire body was so burned out he could barely offer any sort of defense is also a factor.

Could Vegeta have still shitstomped Goku if he hadn't done this? I don't know.

Could Goku have actually found a solution to the Oozaru if he wasn't already at the end of his rope? I don't know.

What I do know is that the Galick Gun brought Vegeta closer to victory than the Final Flash or Final Explosion, and so it wins category C.

[surr3al1sm]

Guys I watched the previews and will now be sharing my thoughts alongside sitty ass screenshots I took, also this probably won't be explained well but when are my posts ever explained well.

Okay first of all, I'm going to be looking at what we're all looking at right now: Murder on the Dancefloor. Starting with that this is an actual banger song choice and I am pleased that it is coming to the game even if it is under... those implications. I really do hope that they're not going down that path and like idk maybe the song starts out with this. Then young Night Swan realises that she's infinetly hotter than the Traveller and just dips. Or maybe she's just using him for his magic idk.

Looking at scene 2 first. Their dance is like just any other duo dance in the game, you could put any two coaches in it and like it wouldn't mean anything. What they're doing after is intresting to me.

Right here the Traveler is showing young Night Swan a portal. Now based on the fact she looks at it, it might be the first portal she's ever seen for all we know. I imagine that the Traveler did probably teach her how to make portals. I really do hope that they just had a mentor/student relationship where the student turns against the mentor and goes evil. Yk that trope, please ubisoft have it be that. I would also take a second to look at the portal because the first image is the portal in MotD and the second is a few of the portals in RYB

The colour doesn't seem to matter with the Traveler as his portals are notibly multicoloured (but I will point out that it's the same colour as Night Swans portals) but the big difference is the shape. In RYB the Travelers portals are recktangles and they open through a very streamlined triangle shape. The portal in MotD is circular and irregular, also it opens differently. Which tells me that in MotD the Traveler is also very young and maybe doesn't really have great control of his magic yet. Meaning they might be sztudents under the same master but the Traveler has just learned portals faster. Over all I think this scene is pretty innocent and indicates that they had like a friend(ly) to rival relationship.

However the problem child is the first little scene we get, and I'm not talking about this.

This just seems like a normal handshake to me. Their hands arent glowing, indicating that no baby making is happening (and if there is, dear GOD let it be Cygnus and not Jack). What I want to look at is how the scene starts. Because hello?? Why is this overlooked??

Why are you two waltzing? Now I know that waltz doesn't have to mean it's romantic, and trust I am hoping it doesn't. BUT what. Why? Respectfully fuck off Ubisoft. This better not fucking mean what I think it means. Istg I will come to Paris and throw hands.

Ignoring that, I could be wrong on every account and I'm just going to wait until the maps have officially been released to I can watch them and figure out what is going on. For now we must simply pray that if they do end up together and procreating that the result of that was our beloved steampunk boy and not Jack. Please don't ruin our ship for us Just Dance, for it is all we have.

ANYWAYS, that aside I am so fucking excited for Darkest Hour. Night Swan looks so good and the map be looking hella cool.

Well, another long one. If you've made it this far, thank you for listening. I would like to take a second to highlight this wonderful comment left on the youtube video as it had me laughing after taking these screenshots

[coquelicoq]

Hello! I just saw you post some Maitre Gims, and I know you like Stromae, so I was wondering what are french/french speaking singers that you like the most? You may have answered smtg like that already but i couldn't find it and I am, as always, very curious ^^ -☆

mc solaar!!!!!! and stromae for sure. and i had a whole renan luce phase in college. otherwise i mostly just listen to individual songs and don't tend to know a ton by the same artist, but i've liked some individual songs by christine and the queens, lous and the yakuza, tryo, kana, bénabar, vianney. some other artists but that's a sample. currently only know two french-language songs by mika but i like them. always looking for recs if you have any!

[soapsbaby]

Silly Spicy Call of Duty headcanons

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, König, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, John Price, Valeria Garza, all x reader Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI) Themes: All NSFW but very lighthearted, nothing particularly triggering but ask to tag! Word count: 750ish

These are just silly little headcanons about them, PLEASE if you have any like these send them to me i had such a blast writing them lol!!

Ghost

Sometimes his mask slips a little and he looks goofy as hell, you have to do your best to not laugh into his face because you know he won’t let that slide.

Uses British lingo sometimes. Has called your pussy a “fanny” before. Got mad when that made you giggle.

Once got so frustrated with trying to figure out how to operate one of your vibrators that he broke it. Was very apologetic and immediately ordered you another one afterwards.

Soap

He is clumsy as hell. Every time you have tried to fuck in a position that is anywhere near athletic, something goes wrong. It’s a miracle neither of you have broken your necks trying to get it on in the shower. He will always take the fall though, protecting you with everything he has and curling himself around you even if it means he will end up bruised or bleeding.

Makes a lot of typos when sexting, never notices. Called you “baby gorilla” once (you will never let him live that down).

Gets offended when you call him “Soap” in the bedroom. You know my name, what are you calling me that for? Dummy.

König

He doesn’t usually wear his balaclava under his mask when you have sex since it gets too sweaty but since his mask is pretty loose he will sometimes have to pft-ppf-tpftt when it gets stuck in his mouth. Has almost choked on his mask before.

Gets so flustered that he will just start sputtering nonsense. Has on several occasions been so out of it that he has messed up the nicknames you use for each other. “yes show me that I am your little babygirl, wait- no, you are… I am your boy… you’re… Wait, I’m sorry”. Not a gender or kink thing, which would of course be alright with you, just him being a dummy.

Is a bit of a crier and drooler sometimes which wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that he will sometimes accidentally waterboard himself in his mask and not tell you.

Gaz

Has called you mommy once and was mortified. Neither of you have really spoken about it but sometimes you will drop little hints around him to get him flustered.

Likes when you suck him off while he is playing video games but then gets too into the game and genuinely can’t help but get annoyed when he loses because you distract him.

Cpt Price

Is oblivious to any signs that you want him. Will go into Dad story telling mode and completely ignore the effect he is having on you until you grab him by the shirt and just tell him to fuck you.

Has a sex playlist called "sensual" with just the most cliché sex songs on it possible. Can unironically have sex to "Careless Whisper" and “Let’s get it on”.

Has given you rug burn with his beard before. 0/10 very unpleasant experience (you’d do it again, though).

Alejandro

Will say things that could be interpreted as sexist in the moment and then immediately get apologetic. Who’s my good slut? I mean… If you want to be. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to… Are you okay with that? Okay. Cool.

Will fuck you in uniform because he knows you’re into that and then get distracted by things he finds in his pockets like shopping receipts. 

Doesn’t care whether or not you understand him, he will speak Spanish to you.

Rudy

Gets tormented by you with new pet names every day. mí amor, I don't know what a Zaddy is. I don’t even know if that’s a good thing.

In the beginning of your relationship he was completely oblivious to most kinks. If you ever expressed anything out of the ordinary to you, he’d raise his eyebrows in confusion and say something like “what? why would anyone want that?” but was always open to trying anything. Now he is probably even more of a deviant than you are.

Valeria

Has this roleplay thing going on where you are a traitor to her cause and she discovers it and gets to “punish” you. You find it a little silly but it gets her super riled up so you play along.

Secretly loves to bottom and to be taken care of by you but would never tell you (you know anyway). Thinks she is being very good at hiding it (she is not).

[lily-radiance]

Hazbin Hotel idea

- Fallen-Angel reader(Fem) x Alastor

The reader is doubting Heaven's actions and decides to take a trip to Hell to see for herself.

- Disagrees with the idea of senseless carnage but understands life is not so simple and split in two.

- Charlie, of course, takes her in, although she does not know the reader is an angel. The reader at first doubts the redemption idea but begins to see the vision.

- Reader is not a fan of Lucifer for many reasons, but mainly because he "betrayed" Heaven, and his relationship with Lilith/Charlie is strained.

- Imagine Hell's greatest Dad, but instead of y'know the whole dad part, Lucifer and Alastor are trying to make you pick a side.

- Alastor, chaotic as usual, tries to get the reader to accept being fallen and doesn't want her to go back. She tells him about her 'predicament' before anyone else, and you better believe he wants to fight the angels for you. He tells Charlie and the others about everything because he knows you won't do it yourself. You obviously get mad. Like big mad.

- In your spiral, he sees your wings at their total capacity, and your shaken demeanor has them changing from white to black at a high rate.

- Vox and Valentino get the terrible idea to hold you for ransom against Alastor and Angel Dust, and they do not go unpunished. Vox makes several derogatory comments about your "holier than thou image," Alastor won't let him get away with it. When it comes to you, he has no problem with your lineage, and honestly, he finds it charming that an angel of all creatures would fall for him.

One of your wings gets injured, and unsurprisingly, it happens to be one of the only angelic wings left. (Say the top and bottom wings on each side are black while the middle two are white?) You used to dye your wings to hide your angelic nature, but with an injury present, it is the least of your concerns. Alastor refuses to let you fly while in recovery, and he has to deal with your pouting. When you do heal, he's still weary, always accompanying you in case you need a helping hand.

"Al, I can fly on my own! Look, my wing is healed!"

"No."

"C'mon, just one lap around the hotel!"

"No."

- Husk thinks you're pretty chill company and likes to vent when you have nothing to do. Sure, he can't say much about Alastor without fearing for his soul, but when he can, the conversations are never dull. If you make him laugh, you'll never let him forget it.

- Angel and Nifty constantly tease you about your infatuation with a particular radio demon. Don't expect any worthwhile advice, even if it means no harm. Charlie really wants to see you and Al together, but she might need to be reminded about boundaries.

- Angel Dust once tried to hit on you to see what would happen and nearly got thrown into next week.

- When he says "Good Girl" to Charlie, you can't help but blush and be a little jealous. He isn't afraid to use the phrase to fluster you on purpose, although you would prefer he not.

- If you wear makeup/do your nails, he will be fascinated. He doesn't say anything because once, he spooked you and made you jump, ruining it. The next hour was spent with him memorizing every detail of your designs in case of another mistake. If he scares you again, it's his job to redo everything. Except for mascara. Never mascara.

- Chess and poker games when the staff has downtime. He will use his shadows to help you cheat, but only if he's not playing with you. Husk knows but says nothing.

- If you're listening to music with earbuds, he will occasionally slow the signal so he can bother you. At first, you were annoyed, but realized it was his odd way of communication. Plus, he still hates technology. (You will purposely play "Video Killed The Radio Star" to get him back.)

"Would you kindly stop playing that infernal song, my dear?"

"Not until you stop interrupting my music."

- The Egg Bois love you, that's no surprise. They always ask about you when being watched by Alastor. The radio demon has come to accept the many questions by now, but the first time, he wanted to spit out his coffee. You think fondly of the memory, occasionally bringing it up to lighten the mood.

"Are you and Mom fighting?"

- When you get into disagreements, expect a few dozen bouquets of white roses in your room. He's terrible at expressing emotions other than murderous intent, and Charlie does what she can to help. You're both stubborn, but it gets too exhausting to keep up the act, and eventually, someone has to cave. (Charlie isn't afraid to wear her horns when confronting him, and if he tries to avoid apologizing, Lucifer will make a daily phone call to annoy him.)

"Hey asshole, talk to your girlfriend, it's upsetting my daughter. Also, you suck."

- Regarding the Extermination day, you try your best to fight the Angelic invasion but struggle. Alastor is stuck between keeping you and the Hotel safe. When Adam nearly beats him, you don't know he's alive, but his reappearance at the new and improved hotel is a welcome sight. He's a little rattled that he almost died, but seeing you safe is enough to keep him going. He might be a tad crazier, but you love him to pieces anyway as you run up and hug him. Typically, he despises physical contact, but coming from you, he doesn't mind, even going so far as to hug you back.

"I assure you that I'm alright, mon cher."

"Are you sure, Al, because that was a difficult fight. Wait—your voice!"

The radio demon takes a moment to realize that without his staff, his voice is clearer than before.

"Oh, you must mean the radio feedback is gone. Yes, I suppose you've never heard my regular voice. I had forgotten what it sounded like. How is it?

"It sounds lovely. I couldn't imagine a better fit."

"I should return the compliment; that is what a proper gentleman does. Your wings look lovely as ever, (Y/N)."

You look over your shoulder to see the feathers no longer entirely black, but back to their ivory shade. A few straggled feathers remain, but you don't mind, overjoyed.

In the middle of your undeniably cute interaction, the rest of the staff is watching. It isn't until Husk interrupts with "get a room" that you two get the hint.

Bonus:

Ruffle this tall disaster's hair. He might complain, but he loves it.

Are you feeling extra crazy? Boop him. Just boop the nose. He will do the same to you.

[avelera]

thesis about the sea peoples you say? may i request an infodump about the sea peoples?

Heya!

So, basically in college (undergraduate) I got really obsessed with the questions around the Collapse of the Aegean Bronze Age, mostly because I wanted to set my big Magnum Opus historical fiction novel in that time, and the deeper I dug into the rabbit hole the more it appeared that no one, absolutely no one, actually knows why the civilizations around the Mediterranean all fell from a state of pretty sophisticated internationally-trading civilizations to literal Dark Ages (all except for Egypt which was substantially weakened and never really recovered), all at once around 1200-1100 BCE.

The Sea Peoples are the names of the only contemporary (Egyptian) account we have that names who might have been responsible if this collapse was due to an invasion. It's a popular theory because a viking-style invasion is a much sexier reason for a civilization to collapse so we all gather around it like moths to flame. But the thing is, there's a lot of contradictory evidence for and against and shading that hypothesis.

Suffice to say, literally no actually knows what happened and almost every answer comes up, "Some combination of these things, probably?"

But what makes the Collapse even more interesting from a modern perspective is that if there was a historical Trojan War (and I think there was) as fictionalized in the Iliad and the Odyssey (and Song of Achilles, for the Tumbrlistas), then it would have taken place within a generation of the entire civilization that launched the Trojan War crumbling to dust.

So like, if you're Telemachus, your dad Odysseus fights in the Trojan War, some even manage to get home, and then like... everything goes to shit. Catastrophically. And doesn't recover for 400 years.

Seriously, they lost the written word, like how to actually write things down and read them and it took 400 years to get it back. That's how fucked shit got during the Collapse of the Bronze Age.

So my thesis was asking: what if these two things were related? What if the Trojan War either led to the Collapse or it was part of the Collapse or it was a result of the Collapse? Because the timeline is so unknown and muddled that it really could be any of those and again, that's if the Trojan War isn't entirely fictional (which I don't think it is, but many academics disagree, it used to be a whole thing up until Schliemann dug it up, and many doubted it was ever a historical event even after that.)

Ok, so at the risk of writing 75 pages on this again, let me just say:

My conclusion (more of a hypothesis proposal ultimately since there are so many gaps in our knowledge) was that the Trojan War took place before the Collapse of the Bronze Age. But, it might have been launched in response to a wider breakdown in trades routes and resources, causing the Greeks to launch the campaign basically as a bid to replenish their own coffers because they were getting squeezed by what they didn't know was the first rumblings of a global domino effect.

Therefore, since taking out Troy didn't solve those larger trends and forces, they all went home and then got slammed by the REAL problem, which was all the people who had been displaced from further away by this rolling drought or invasion or whatever that was disrupting these delicate international trade routes.

But the Greeks might have been part of the Sea Peoples too! Our only record of the Sea Peoples is from the Egyptians in a highly propagandistic text which makes them sound like this big fearsome foe but that might have been because saying, "We slaughtered a bunch of desperate refugees at our border who were looking for shelter," didn't sound as cool. If the Greeks (or Achaeans or Ahhiyawa) got swept up in this slow-rolling collapse/displacement of people, then they absolutely could have been among those refugees who crashed against the shores of Egypt.

A lot of my evidence was based on looking at how Troy was sacked (it was stripped literally down the nails and there was a lot of evidence of a long-term siege, like what we read about in the Iliad) vs. how Mycenae (Agamemnon's city) or Pylos (King Nestor's city) was sacked, where they were burned and stuff was stolen but they weren't stripped, it looks more like a standard looting hit-and-run type thing. Which led me to believe that it was different turmoil that rocked Mycenae and Pylos than what led to the sacking of Troy, despite the fact these things happened within about 20 years of each other. (Helen being a made-up reason for a resource-driven war would only be the oldest trick in the book, as far as propaganda goes, after all.)

But really, the craziest detail I'll leave you with is: we just don't know! And then it gets weirder. Because the Hittites fell at the same time so the Hittites scholars say, "Nah, the Sea Peoples weren't Hittites, they were probably Greeks." And the GREEK scholars say, "It wasn't us, it was probably the Hittites or someone else. " and the EGYPTIAN scholars say, "Yeah it was someone north of Egypt, maybe the Hittites or the Greeks." and the LEVANT scholars say, "It wasn't from the Levant, we know what was going on there, it has to be from somewhere else."

Literally every single possible source of the Sea Peoples has the scholars who specialize in that location saying it's not them and it must be the guy next door.

It's maddening!

And then there's a big ol' gap around Bulgaria and the Black Sea because, oh yeah, the Soviet Union forbade archaeology in those areas to quash any local pride so those places that were behind the Iron Curtain are decades behind on scholarship that would allow them to say, "Oh hey, it was actually us! Yeah, the invaders came from Bulgaria and got pushed down by a famine." or something to that effect.

We also have some histories from the time saying that the Sons of Heracles returned not long after the Trojan War to lay Greece to waste! And it's really evocative and sounds like it fits what we've got of all these burned cities that happened right after Troy fell! Except that's in doubt now too!

The latest theory is that it was climate change that led to a massive drought. You can read about it in the latest and most popular book on the subject, 1177 BCE which I highly recommend because if it had existed when I wrote my thesis, I wouldn't have had to write it.

But I disagree with the conclusion! Or rather, I'm skeptical. Because very decade, the problems of the day have been hypothesized as being the cause of the Collapse. Like, in the 60s, there was a theory that maybe it was internal strife around a labor strike, like the French Revolution. And y'know when there's a world war, they think it's an invasion. And there was a theory that it was 'cuz of an earthquake (I think that one is nonsense, Mediterranean civilizations famously bounce back quickly from earthquakes.) And now that climate change is on our mind, I'm a little weary to see that it's the new theory because it feels way too much like we're just projecting our problems onto this giant question mark.

Was climate an aspect! I think so! I think it might have contributed to the break down in trade routes that made everyone in the Mediterranean really stressed out and hostile and warlike and led to a lot of displacement. I'm not sure if it's the only reason though and I think the book just kinda reiterates everyone else saying, "I think it was this but in the end, we just don't know, and it was probably a lot of things." which we've known for ages so it's just repeating all the same conclusions. *sigh*

... Like I said, I wrote my thesis on this so yeah, I could go on for a while lol.

[lomlhwa]

roadtrip (c.s)

pairing: bf!san x gf!reader

preview: idk it's a long roadtrip and san needs to let out some pent up energy

tags/warnings: fem reader, oral (m.receiving), kinda subby san idk there's not a lot of dialogue, road head can i get a wahoo, head while driving (don't do that), he's wearing grey sweatpants (yes that's a tag), you take your seatbelt off to give him head (WEAR YOUR SEATBELT), dacryphilia, pet names (baby, pretty girl), cum eating

trigger warnings: n/a

wc: 833

song recs for this fic: let's! by hoppipola

a/n: dedicated to one of the biggest san stans i know (you know who you are)

you look up to check the clock on the car display and groan. 4:00pm. you’ve been on the road for at least 4 hours now. you know your destination is far but there’s only so much gazing out the window that one person can do.

at least you have the best view on the planet sitting next to you. your boyfriend, san, always looks so much more attractive while he’s driving. one hand on the wheel and one hand gripping the plush skin of your thigh. his eyes are stuck on the road, his head swaying from side to side to the beat of the music filling the otherwise silent car. 

you rest your head on the window, debating dozing off. that is, until you hear the sound of san’s clothes shuffling around on his seat. you turn your head to find that he’s adjusting his hips in his seat, seeming uncomfortable.

“you okay, sannie?” you ask, feeling concerned. could he have a stomach ache? was a pit stop imminent? he nods, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. you can tell from his facial expression that it’s an empty motion.

“just tell me what’s wrong. if you need to stop we can-” you cut yourself off once your eyes finally travel down to his lap. you finally spot his…. problem. it’s clear to you now why he was shifting around in his seat.

“oh, that’s what’s wrong,” you cross your ankles together, debating how to go about it. you’re about to suggest pulling over but when you look at him, you think you might explode if you don’t do something immediately. he looks at you with wide, teary eyes that beg you to touch him.

“aww sannie, do you want my help?” you lean towards him and you can tell he’s really struggling to keep his eyes on the road. “please, baby. it hurts,” he takes his hand off your thigh to pull at his grey sweatpants. you can’t help but lick your lips in anticipation.

“eyes on the road or i’ll stop,” you instruct as you help him shimmy his pants and underwear halfway down his thighs. he’s harder than you think you’ve ever seen him in your entire relationship. what could have even had him like this?

you unlock your seatbelt to lay your torso over the center console. not the most comfortable position but you could not care less right now. you keep your arms free so you can wrap your hands around his cock. you pump him a few times, using his pre-cum as lube. 

you shoot one glance up at him to make sure he’s looking at the road. his cute face is scrunched, trying to keep from looking down at his pretty girlfriend. you can see tears slowly streaming down his face out of desperation.

you finally wrap your lips around his tip, swirling your tongue around it. a small squeak comes from your boyfriend at finally getting what he wanted. san grips the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. you bob your head up and down, doing your best to not accidentally knock into his arm. 

his hips buck up slightly, his tip jabbing the back of your throat. you gag, saliva pouring out of your mouth. he takes one hand off the wheel and tangles his fingers in your hair. his other hand still holds a death grip on the steering wheel.

“pretty girl,” san says, his hips continuing to rock up. he sniffles before adding to his sentence. “let me use your mouth, i need it,” he pleads, his voice cracking. you can’t help but feel like his crying is only spurring you on. 

you pull your mouth off him only to respond. “go ahead, just make sure you keep driving,” you assure him before taking him back into your mouth. he strengthens his grip on your hair before guiding your head manually. 

you place your hand on his thigh, digging your nails into it to try and ignore your gag reflex. you can’t help but gag though, considering the sheer size. shoving the whole thing down your throat is guaranteed to trigger your reflexes. 

“oh my pretty girl, i’m gonna cum,” he announces, shoving your head all the way down and holding you there. all your muscles tense as you hold your breath, waiting for him to fill your throat. in only a mere few seconds, your throat is full of his cum.

he finally lets go of your hair and lets you come up for air. some of his release slips out of your mouth and your fingers scramble to shove it back in. you swallow it all to the best of your abilities. 

you wipe the tears off his face and look at him lovingly. “feel better, sannie?” you ask and he nods. you can tell he means it this time. “i do, but i’m pulling the fuck over because i can’t leave you high and dry.”

© lomlhwa 2024

[queen-of-reptiles]

𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙳

description: In which leah's rockstar girlfriend shows the england girls how to really put on a performance

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leah williamson x female reader

disclaimer: this is all fiction! Do not take any of this seriously.

warnings: language, cute leah, some suggestive jokes

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y/n just posted on their story

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y/n just posted

liked by lucybronze, keirawalsh and 8.9 million others

tagged lionesses,

y/n ready to put on a show ;)

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username1: CUTEEEEEE 😍😍

username2: I love how much the Lionesses love her - my heart 🥺🥺

username3: ❤️❤️❤️

leahwilliamsonn: always ready for you my girl <3

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y/n: my baby <3

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username4: 🥺🥺

lucybronze: excited !!!!!!

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y/n: SAME!!!!!

stanwaygeorgia: you better do 'hooked'! 😡

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y/n: 😏😏

username5: WHOOOOOO!! 👏👏👏

alessiarusso99: AHHHHHH

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ellatoone: AHHHHHH

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Lj10: AHHHHHH

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y/n: oh my children!

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username6: 🥺🥺

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username7: CUTE

username8: I don't really see the hype about her shows 🤷‍♀️

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username9: Okay????? The off you fuck! 🖕

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username10: hahahahahahah 😂

1maryearps: Gonna be a good night!

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racheldaly3: A great night!

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mbrighty04: The best night!

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y/n: ffs !

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username11: ahahahaHAHAH

username12: 😍😍😍

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y/n grinned as she sucked a deep breath through her nose, her breathing slightly out of pace from all the jumping as she slid her guitar strap over her shoulder, fixing the instrument to her.

"Okay, I know ya'll love this one." y/n grinned, she looked up at the VIP section, eyes catching that of her lover's. Leah Williamson, even now, when there were thousands screaming for her, all y/n would ever want to find was the blonde.

y/n's fingers played the familiar riff on the guitar and the crowd started their screaming again as the drums kicked in. The Lionesses in the section all cheered and began to bounce as Leah chuckled.

"Yesterday I crashed my car Because I wondered what it'd feel like Pressed my foot down on the pedal And I ran right through the stop sign." y/n sang.

Her voice had always been low, raspy and powerful. She used to hate that, but as she got older and found that no songs fit her, she found that it was best to write ones to do so.

Leah loved her voice, from the second the two met Leah would sit and listen in awe every time y/n opened her mouth, she could be recording in the studio or belting mockingly in the shower, Leah would stop and listen every time.

"Told all my friends I hate them And then I played the victim 'Cause God forbid the problem's ever me Fucked my ex just to do it Guess therapy's been useless What a waste of £250 a week." y/n continued before holding the microphone out to the crowd.

"SO HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?" The stadium erupted, shouts and screams from everyone saying the line.

"Well." y/n hummed, the music stopping for a second before the lights flickered and the drums kicked back in as the smoke machines went wild.

"I think I'm hooked on feeling low Like morphine in my soul Kinda like when I go cold (cold, cold) I think I'm hooked on feeling down I drink until I drown Anything to black it out (out, out)

I think I'm hooked I think, I think I'm Hooked

I think I'm hooked I think, I think I'm Hooked I think I'm..."

The performance boomed as y/n sung through the chorus. Her voice strong and just louder than the screaming crowd. Her precious guitar now sat safely off her as she bounced and sang.

Her hair was slick with sweat as she lent back slightly her jaw line popping and making Leah sigh and pinch at her nose in need at how hot her lover was.

"You alright there Leah?" Georgia asks, her voice worried as Leah turned to look at her, but the blonde scoffed when she saw the shit-eating grin on Georgia's face.

"Shut up." Leah huffed as the girls around them continued to dance along.

"Blow through all of my money On cigarettes and coffee 'Cause being broke is hard at 23." y/n sang.

"I'm actually 25 now." She added in spoken words, Leah rolling her eyes at the cigarettes line which was a habit she had tried to get her lover to stop.

"Go write another sad song And play it for my poor mom Anything so she feels bad for me." y/n continues before holding the microphone out once again.

"Y/N THIS IS SO DEPRESSING." The screams ran out from the stadium, Leah wincing as she shouted with them, and Lucy's shout in her ear.

The chorus began again and the lights flashed wilder as the bass became jumpier, the crowd bobbing as they jumped with y/n who always had good stamina and a great core to sing and dance as she did.

"I think I'm hooked." y/n finished with her song. The lights cutting out as the crowd screamed as the lights came back up, y/n laughing as she waved to everyone.

y/n let out a sigh as she slid her jacket off, her strong arms coming into show from the black one-piece she was wearing which was a bit too low cut for Leah's liking.

The sleek Arsenal red flares her lover also wore were more covering than the cleavage filled top, but the tightness at the top clung to her perky ass so well Leah gulped.

The cheers got louder which caused y/n to laugh as she ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head at the whistles which were aimed her way.

"This, is for one woman only." y/n winked, nodding toward the Lionesses where the camera zoomed in on the now smirking blonde captain.

Keira chuckled next to Leah as Georgia jeered, clapping her friend on the back who rolled her eyes playfully as y/n then hummed into her microphone.

"Got time for one more ay?" She asked her band who nodded.

The tune of 'Hot Gum' began and people went wild as the lights went down and came back up as y/n danced in place, Leah wetting her lips as she watched her lover.

"I hold soft flames on my tongue And chew on them like chewing gum They burn the roof of my mouth But I won't spit it out loud right now."

y/n's voice was low and lazy, vocal fry peaking through as she tilted her body around to the beat as the crowd cheered. The lights suddenly went dark as y/n continued.

"There's an inferno in your mouth I can tell by the way you smile like it burns You press your lips together like you're kissing yourself To stop me from learning." y/n's voice continued.

Suddenly the lights had come up and y/n was no longer visible on stage, but the camera's had found her. Leah jumped at the image of her lover behind her.

y/n chuckled into the microphone and wrapped an arm around the blonde's waist and despite the fact y/n was shorter than the blonde in that moment she had all the power.

"She's a keeper, she's a believer She's on the ground, on her knees in a theatre And she put us in a car, I don't know where we are But she fell in love with a fever." y/n sings.

The crowd were screaming once more, y/n grinning at her lover as she spun around her and to her front, Leah's arms wrapping around her naturally as she lent back to sing.

"I could never leave her, I could never keep her" That's what she says to the neighborhood preacher And she put us in a car, I don't know where we are But I fell in love with the fever and I." y/n sang.

Leah couldn't help but lean down and press a small kiss to the junction where y/n's neck met her shoulder and the crowd cheered once more.

"I watch us burn and fall, the heat is ten feet tall The potential is bench pressing us into the wall And the flick of flames weaving through my teeth If the hot gum were to slip out, where would we be?" y/n sung.

The girl switched so her back was against Leah's chest as she danced with the blonde's team the group all laughing as Leah's arms hugged tightly to y/n's waist as she continued to sing.

"She's a keeper, she's a believer She's on the ground, on her knees in a theatre And she put us in a car, I don't know where we are But she fell in love with a fever." y/n sang, slipping to her knees in front of her lover.

The cheers that arose were louder than anything all night as the camera continued to film as y/n lent into a backbend her hand gripping Leah's thigh - on her good leg, tightly.

"I could never leave her, I could never keep her" That's what she says to the neighbourhood preacher And she put us in a car, I don't know where we are But I fell in love with the fever and I." y/n sang once more.

She rose to her feet as the song continued, pulling the blonde in for a kiss which Leah returned albeit a little sheepishly considering they were in front of thousands.

y/n pulled away, pecking Leah's lips once more before high-fiving Georgia and running back to stage for the last section of the song.

"If I tell you what I'm thinking promise, you won't tell yourself If you tell me what you're thinking, I swear I won't tell myself She's on the ground, she's on his knees, she's a believer She's on the ground, she didn't listen to the preacher." y/n finished with a dramatic bow.

The crowd screamed and cheered as y/n chuckled, waving to them once more as she began to thank them all and her band.

"And thank you baby, for being so good with me." y/n added into the microphone which caused Leah to chuckle. "And to the team, because you're all always hype-women for me and that slaps." y/n added.

The crowd cheered as she thanked them once more before running off-stage, sighing in relief as she chugged a bottle of ice cold water while she waited for the growing cheers of the Lionesses to get closer.

"You sure know how to put on a show mrs. skipper!" Millie called as she slammed her hands on y/n's shoulders, only to wipe the sweat which coated them onto a shouting Rachel.

LJ and Hempo both cheered as the three shared a quick shared high five, before Lotte, Beth and Niamh all did the same.

"Hmm, certainly." Leah said, folding her arms and raising a sharp brow, an unimpressed look on her face at the stunt pulled.

"Love you." y/n winked as she pressed a kiss to Leah, Alessia and Ella letting out fake gags which caused Lucy to hit them.

"Children." Keira chuckled as Georgia high-fived y/n once again as y/n sighed and sagged.

"Carry me to dressing room?" She asked Leah tiredly and the blonde nodded, swooping up the star into her arms as the Lionesses teased and cooed.

"Shut up!" Leah called before walk off with her lover.

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y/n just posted

liked by leahwilliamsonn, stanwaygeorgia and 9.3 million others

tagged leahwilliamsonn

y/n she's a believer, she's on the ground on her knees in the theatre...

p.s. thank you london - so fucking much xxx

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username1: YOU WERE AMAZING !!!!!! 😍😍

username2: I Cried three times 😭

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username3: I CRIED AT THEIR KISS 😭

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username4: that was hot 🔥

username5: 🔥🔥🔥

ellatoone: the best night ever ! ESPECIALLY FOR LEAH ;))

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alessiarusso99: Subtle Ella

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keirawalsh: hahahahahahha - well done y/n!!

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y/n: Love you !!!

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username6: HEHehhehe

leahwilliamsonn: my girl - I - ...

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y/n: Leah.exe has stopped working

lucybronze: disappeared like Houdini 🧐

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1maryearps: Only disappeared because she's so small tho 🤷‍♀️

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y/n: count your days earps...

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1maryearps: gulp...

mbrighty04: you get well sweaty on stage mate ☺️

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racheldaly3: and needy too apparently 😏

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leahwilliamsonn: I'm not rli complaining

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y/n: ;)))

username7: Her and Leah are so cute! 🥺🥺

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username8: Right?!?!?!!!! ❤️

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leahwilliamsonn hooked on you...

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END

loved this one and really got into the performing section lmao

Songs used:

Hooked - Sam Short

Hot Gum - Sofia Isella

[tragedybunny]

Sunlight and Stars in the Sky - Astarion x F!Reader

I've been at this so long I'm not even sure if it is any good, but it's as finished as it will get I suppose. It ventured into angst a little more than I had planned and I'm thinking there may be a part two. But anyway, here's the end up with the nicknames they use for each other in my other fics.

The Githyanki Creche is not the promised salvation and you deal with it by trying to drink your problems away. Astarion ends up taking care of you and starts to deal with his feelings and the fallout of his actions.

Unsteady footsteps came up behind him as he stood by the dying fire, in another life that would make you a perfect target. “‘Starion,” you said in a little sing-song voice from behind him. 

“Yes, my Sweet,” turning, he’s already wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you. From the footsteps he could tell you’d been drinking. The Githyanki Creche hadn’t turned out to be the salvation you had hoped for. Some of your companions were taking it worse than others, Lae’zel was in her tent, talking to no one, and you, you were piss drunk. 

“I hate this,” you lean into his chest and despite the grim reality, he feels an odd sense of contentment. 

“I’m sure nobody is particularly enjoying the moment but-” He was cut off as your lips started to kiss their way along his collarbone.

“You know what could make it better…” Teeth suddenly nip him and he jumps involuntarily while you giggle, you put him on edge lately for some reason. “A quick little tumble in the bedroll.” 

Just the thought of taking you in this state of inhibition, so little control over yourself, makes his stomach turn. A small part of him asks if you ever have control given his lies, viciously he kicks that part back down. “Not tonight, my little Snack, you are far too drunk.” 

The pout you reply with is impressive. “Aw, don’t you like me anymore?” Despite your clear inebriation, the words are like a blow and he’s lost for a moment. 

“Of course I do.” Instinctively, he pulls you closer, only for your fingers to start fumbling with his trousers. Gently he takes your hands and holds them away from himself. “Alright, I think it's clear you need some water and to lay down." 

"I'm fine." You push away from him and wobble dangerously before ending up on your butt in the dirt. "Ow," dejectedly, you stay where you landed until your shoulders quiver and he worries tears are next. 

Sighing, he reaches down and scoops you up in his arms, looking you over to make sure you didn't hurt yourself. "How about a deal Darling," he can't believe what he's about to say, "you agree to lay down nicely and get some sleep and I'll let you stay in my tent tonight?" 

"Really? You never…" The two of you have never shared space for more than a perfunctory few minutes after sex, and usually Astarion very much prefers it that way. But you're a drunk emotional mess and you just seem to need him and that small part of him that he keeps pushing away wants to help you. "I don't want to, gods what's the word, im-im-"

"Impose?" The way you nod silently without looking up plants a strange sensation in his chest. "Don't be silly, you're my partner aren't you? How could you be imposing?" Softly he kisses your forehead and starts toward his tent. 

As he settles you gingerly among his blankets you look around with wide eyes as though surprised to be here. "It's so red," you giggle before slowly laying back and staring at him as he gently removes your boots. 

At least you had ceased your attempt at erotic pursuits for the moment. "I'll get you some water, you need to stay up long enough to drink it." 

It only takes a few moments for him to retrieve your waterskin from your tent and return to find your eyes shut. He takes a brief second to just watch the way your chest rises and falls and the sublimely peaceful expression on your face. "Sweetheart," kneeling down next to you, he holds out the waterskin, "you need to drink some water." 

Eyes slowly open and you sit up, making a little whining noise. "Fine." Taking the waterskin, you drink most of it in one go before lying back on your side facing him. "Happy?"

Your sudden aggressive tone makes him chuckle, of course he's seen you fight, but right now you're as threatening as a lost kitten. "You'll feel better for it in the morning, I promise." 

"Mmm," already your eyes are closing again. "Lay next to me?"

The soft plea feels irresistible despite knowing he's feeding you another pretty lie and he shouldn't encourage this. If only you weren't so damnably kind to him all the time; his sweet sunny little half-elf, even from the moment you met, trying to help a stranger kill an Intellect Devourer; he wouldn’t feel so odd about everything. You’d fed him when he’d tried to bite you during your sleep, stood up for him after, protected him from the Gur, and listened to every rant and complaint with an open mind. Even during sex, you tried so hard to please him, to make him feel good too, readily experimenting with anything new, and offering up your throat time and again. The mask must have slipped a few times because once you’d very embarrassedly asked him after the act if you were a bad lover. He’d tried so hard to reassure you he was just having a bad day, afterall, it wasn’t your fault he couldn’t feel the same pleasure, but you still looked so sad for a long while afterward.

Cuddling up close to you, he wraps you both in his blankets, arms enfolding you, and can’t help but notice how perfectly you fit next to him, head tucked under his chin, like you were made to be there. Gods, what’s wrong with him? He lays a delicate kiss on the sensitive little tip of your pointed ear and you hum contendly. “Happy now, my little bit of Sunlight?” The pet name slips off his tongue, surprising even himself. 

“Does that still mean I’m irritating,” you mumble softly and he puzzles over it before remembering. 

Another moment of kindness from you. One of the first days after the Nautiloid, he’d seated himself so far away from everyone at the campfire, he was practically in the shadows when you came to sit next to him. “You can come closer to the fire Astarion, you don’t have to keep so separate.” 

“I’m fine,” he’d snapped at you, panicking that anyone was so near to him so soon after escaping Cazador’s endless cruelty. Your mouth opened to answer back and he’d cut you off. “I said I’m fine, hells, you’re as irritating as the scorching summer sunlight.” You’d backed off but not before he’d seen the hurt in your eyes. The compliment feels as though it turned to ash in his mouth at the memory, he wishes he could take that night back. There's a lot of moments from those first days he wishes the same of. 

“That was a very strange couple of days for me,” his fingers find your hair of their own accord and start brushing through it. “But no, I mean you’re bright and warm and beautiful,” and not meant for creatures like me, he adds silently. “Like Sunlight.” 

Eyes opening, you tilt your head back to look up and study him for a moment, unexpectedly lucid. “And you're as wondrous and amazing as the whole night sky full of stars, and worth any bit of darkness.” 

The words leave him stunned as you close your eyes and settle back against him. “You don’t mean that.” 

“Of course I do, my Starry Sky,” you punctuate it with a kiss on his neck before drifting back in your half-asleep state. 

There's an urge to retch and cry at the same time, what a farce he’s made of your affection. He holds you tighter, as if that could undo any of what he’s done. You deserve the truth, he knows that, but not tonight, because once you know, you'll despise him. A few more days, to soak you up, just like sunlight, and then he’ll slip back into the darkness he deserves, where there’s nothing to warm him. 

[obsessedwrhys]

THE CUT THAT ALWAYS BLEEDS...

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ (modern au!!) Being in a toxic relationship with her. angst, some fluff in a fucked up way? common toxic relationship things, arguments, this song is her song idgaf what anyone says. reader is fem!! Didn't proof read cuz im sick and lazy ☹

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It still shocks you how you and Ellie were in a 2 years long relationship. Maybe that was one of the main reasons why you felt reluctant to end things with her. And adding on the image of your relationship built around your friends, you felt the pressure to keep it going because everyone thought you two were happy together.

They envied you.

They wanted what you two had.

If only they knew what you two really had...

"What the fuck was that?" Ellie cursed at you after slamming the front door shut behind her.

"You're the one saying that? I fucking saw you cuddling with your ex!" You said as you went in your shared room to put away your bag, she follows after you.

You two had just come back from one your friend's party but it seemed like things took a turn when you walked in the living room to find Ellie cuddled on the sofa with her ex, cigarettes and drinks in hand while they chatted like old friends. Not to mention a flirty smile on her face as you'd catch her staring down at her lips. It was enough to make your stomach twist.

"So what!? I already told you we're just friends! You fucking embarrassed me when you stormed off like that!!"

"And that gives you the excuse of cuddling with her?! You were flirting!!" You raised your voice at her after turning to face her.

"Why are you being such a fucking bitch?! You do that shit with your friends and you don't see me complaining about it!!"

"That's because I never FUCKED ONE OF MY FRIENDS!!" Your words making her scoff out of disbelief. Almost like the situation was too much that she was now finding it ridiculous.

"You wanna talk about fucking? How about we continue this conversation when you're not a slut?" She walks off, going to the bathroom to open the shower.

You were speechless. Your lips were parted but you didn't know how to respond. It was like you were too overwhelmed with rage that your brain couldn't even think of what words to form. Soon your body collapses on the bed and you ran your hands tiredly across your face.

The sound of the shower running in the background indicating that Ellie was really bathing after what she said to you. You were upset. You had the right to. But it wasn't only her words you were upset at, it was the realisation that this was your life now, this wasn't the first fight and will never be the last.

You were too focused on your emotions to even notice your eyes burning with tears. You were trying to stop yourself from letting them pour out but your mind was encouraging it to with the amount of sad thoughts they were making up. You tried to be quiet but it didn't matter either way because the shower was soon turned off.

You tried to cover your face with your hands the second the bathroom door opened. You couldn't bring yourself to look at her. To show her the effect she had on you. It was quiet for a painfully long minute until you heard her approaching you.

Surprisingly she sat herself on the bed beside you and wrapped her arms around your body, she was making you rest your head on her chest. You were still angry but somehow some part inside of you liked the warmth. The feeling of her gently running her hands through your hair and brushing them off your face seeming to make your frown fade.

"I'm sorry baby... I didn't mean that... I don't know what came over me" She said, her tone completely different from her tone from before.

"It's just I get frustrated when you start accusing me of things like that. I would never leave you for someone else. You mean everything to me"

Her words made you feel guilty.

Maybe you were overthinking it.

Maybe you were the problem...

"... I'm sorry. I was just scared that she might try something on you" You apologised as you changed your position to get closer to her.

"It's okay baby... don't cry... nothing will happen... I'm yours" She comforted.

You didn't bother thinking if it was a lie or the truth because you were too delusional to even see things realistically. The next morning you'd find yourself awake, laying alone on the bed. You were confused and sort of heartbroken...

Where did she go?

Did she wake up early?

You got up and wandered the house and the second you went in the kitchen, you were greeted with the smell of food. Your heart melt when you realised she had made you breakfast. Once she finally notises you in the kitchen, she smiles almost pleased with your reaction alone.

"Morning baby... thought I'd cook your favourite" She said and you didn't say anything but just kiss her on the lips which she happily kisses you back.

"Woow now... I have work later. You don't wanna make me late now" She grins at you but you simply ignored her by wrapping your arms around her neck.

"I love you" You smiled radiantly.

"Love you more"

Almost like the argument never happened, the next few days went on as it usually does. You two spending time on dates and doing whatever stupid things you'd be up to. Apparently your birthday was soon and you couldn't help but think of some plans. Your first plan was to choose to hangout with some friends the day before so you could spend your birthday with your girlfriend. It was perfect.

Who knows, maybe she'll even have plans for you?

Possibly a surprise?

The thought made you excited that you felt you couldn't wait anymore. Soon the day came, you had told Ellie about your plans with your friends and she seemed fine with your idea. Before you left she gave you a kiss on the cheek and a hug, the feeling making you all warm inside.

"Stay safe baby, I'm gonna miss you" She uttered.

"It's only for a day Ellie you're overreacting" You joked which she just shrugs with a sheepish smile.

"Whatever, just have fun" She said.

Just like that, you waved her goodbye as you left to the mall where you've agreed to meet up with your friends. You did multiple activities together, from playing go karts to exploring a cat cafe. It was everything you had hoped for. Eventually the activities ran out and you didn't expect the day to end that fast, with your gifts in hand, you bid all your friends farewell before heading home.

It was still 3 in the afternoon since you had thought it would take until 7 in the evening to try out all the activities you've planned out. But oh well, that means you'll have more time to spare. As you opened the front door, you noticed there were clothes scattered across the floor. Some clothes you didn't recognise. You consciously put your gifts on the coffee table before making your way further into the room.

The clothes acting as a trail for you to follow... into the bedroom? You noticed the door was opened slightly so you carefully opened it. The sound of it creaking making it more suspenseful than it should be. Your heart drop once you see the sight before you. It was Ellie, naked, on the bed with another woman. Her face couldn't be seen since she had her face nuzzled into her neck.

They were too dead asleep to even notice you standing at the doorway. Your body felt like it was burning from the amount of emotions you were experiencing all at once. You couldn't believe it. Again and again, you chose to forgive her, hoping she had changed but the reality was that you were just too much of an idiot for thinking she'd actually change for you.

Your hands clenched into a fist and from the rage, you grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand to pour it on them. The second their face came in contact with the water, they were jerked awake. The girl got up and you could see now it was no other than her ex. You scoff at the sight.

"What the fuck?! Who—" Ellie stopped talking once she realises it was you who did that. Her ex just staring at the two of you with a worried expression... cause you caught them... you caught her cheating.

"You told me she wouldn't be back early" She whispered to Ellie who quickly shushed her to shut up.

"You're fucking kidding me" You managed to say from the rush of the adrenaline pumping through you.

"I can explain all of this" Ellie said as she quickly puts on her shirt. You take a step back when she tried to approach you.

"No! Don't! I won't let you sweet talk me out of this!" You said which she made her stop herself from walking towards you. She stares at you, vulnerabilities in her eyes.

"I-It's not that. Baby I do love you, you mean everything to me"

"Cheating on me the day before my birthday..." You said that had her look away with a defeated sigh.

"I mean that little to you huh?" You smile weakly, tears already covering your burning cheeks.

"I wasn't cheating on you—"

"Shut up, get the fuck out of my house" You said and for a split second, the sadness in Ellie's eyes changed to pure anger.

"This is my fucking house too, I paid for this as well...!"

"It's under my name Ellie!"

"Bullshit!"

"Go ahead!! Gaslight me 'cause that's all you've ever been good at!"

"Oh so I'm the bad guy?! Do you have any idea how hard it is to put up with your shit?! You should be thankful I actually love you because nobody else would!!" She raised her voice. Her words like knives gutting you open.

"I think you should leave (Y/N)" Her ex, who's still on the bed had the nerve to speak. You glare at her but she just rolls her eyes away like she's playing innocent.

"... I can't do this anymore... not with you... we're done..." You stomped off and guilty enough, you had hope she would try to stop you from leaving... but she never did.

The next few days you'd find yourself living at a hotel. It wasn't too expensive or anything but it was enough to live for a while. You tried to get her off your mind by taking care of yourself but no matter how happy you felt, you would always find yourself at your lowest again. You couldn't even enjoy your favourite show without thinking of her.

Your favourite game.

Your favourite song...

Fuck you can't even enjoy anything at this point.

What's worst was that Ellie was trying her hardest to contact you after a day of leaving her. From texting you through your number to your socials, she wouldn't give up. Although you've told yourself to block her and forget it, a tiny parasite inside you was dying to see what she had to say. Eventually one night where you were too lost in your thoughts, you decided to unblock her to see the messages she sent you.

~

Ellie: Hey baby, I'm sorry for what happened. If you're ready to talk I'm here

~

Ellie: I didn't mean what I said

Ellie: I'm also sorry for shouting at you

Ellie: I know how much you hate it when I do that

~

Ellie: Please reply, I can't eat or sleep knowing what I did wrong

Ellie: I still care about you

~

Ellie: -Deleted Message-

Ellie: -Deleted Message-

Ellie: Ignore that

~

Ellie: Are you okay? I hope you're still okay

Ellie: I miss your smile

~

Last online a few minutes ago, you stared at the messages but your mind was elsewhere. Should you respond? What should you say? You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought of what to say until suddenly a phone call came in. You felt your soul left your body when you realised it was Ellie. She must have seen you were online.

With not much to do, you weigh your choices and decided to just answer. It was quiet as you had the call on speaker. Maybe this was a bad idea... you wondered until the sound of shuffling could be heard over the line.

"Hello? (Y/N)?" Ellie said, her voice sounded like she's been crying but she was trying to pull it together at the moment.

"Hi" You simply responded.

"Are you safe? You've been ignoring my calls" She said. There she goes again... acting like the fight never happened....

"We need to talk" You said with your eyes shut from how overwhelmed you were becoming just by hearing her voice.

"Okay..."

You took a deep breath then let it out slowly. Your mind repeating the words you've been rehearsing everytime you were in the shower. The words you've been dying to tell her ever since what happened.

"This isn't gonna work anymore. I think we should part ways, for both our sakes" You said. The line was dead silent for few seconds.

"I know I know baby... and I'm sorry for letting it happen but we can try again—"

"No...! You... ugh... you don't get what I'm tryna say. We can't. We never will be happy together. It's never going to work" You said and you could hear her voice shivering a bit when she takes a breath to process your words.

"Oh... huh... you're saying we should never see each other again?" She asks.

"Yeah..."

Her lack of response was killing you. Even though this was happening over the phone and not in person, yet her presence was still strong. You gripped on the blanket to use it as a way to ease your nerves.

"Are you sure that's what you want? Have you even thought it through? What if you regret this" She started blurting out questions before you could even answer.

"I won't—"

"And what about your things? You're just gonna abandon everything here? Abandon me?"

"I've already asked my friend to help me get my things tomorrow..."

"What about me? Please baby I need you" She cries on the phone and you couldn't help but feel yourself almost pitying her.

"You don't... you don't need me... you just needed someone to make yourself feel less alone. I've realised that now..." You said with all the strength left in you as your voice quivers.

"Sometimes I wish we never met... then I wouldn't be put through half this shit... that's why I'm ending things between us now... goodbye Ellie... and please don't make this harder for anyone" Without waiting for her to respond, you ended the call. Now you were in your hotel room, crying to yourself as you tried to muffle your screams.

After the messy breakup and getting your things back with the help of your friend, you were able to get a fresh start. Though there were some bumps on your road to healing, you didn't let that throw you off. With the good things going on in your life, you decided to go out with your friends to a party. You haven't gone to one in forever but you thought you deserved it after being so kind to yourself.

"I told you it was a good idea to come out with us" Your friend nudges you with a smile and you smiled back.

You felt happier as you finally wore the dress you've always wanted to wear, your makeup done perfectly according to your features and some cute earrings to finish the look. If the old you saw the new you now, she'd think you had gone mad. During the party, you decided to walk around meeting new people and getting yourself a drink. It was then you locked eyes with someone familiar.

Your eyes widened as you saw her.

It was Ellie and she still looked the same.

Despite seeing her again after all these months of healing, you were surprised to find yourself handling the situation well. Your chest was definitely burning but it didn't burn as bad as it first did in the first month of your post break-up, where even the thought of her made you want to have a meltdown. Instead of running away, you simply smiled at her.

Ellie, who was standing on the other side of the room watches as you smile at her before you turn to talk someone else. You were smiling. Laughing. Happier than you ever did when you were with her. It actually made her heart ache knowing she wasn't able to be the one to make you that joyful. Instead she was the one who tore you down.

With her drink in hand, she leans against the bar as she watches you continue chatting with your friends. A bittersweet look on her face. Maybe you were too good for her. Maybe, all she's ever good for was ruining a good thing like you. And in the end, that chapter of your life is soon over. You'll forget about her... but you will always be in her dreams...

[vettelsvee]

MY TORTURED DRIVERS DEPARTMENT REPUTATION'S VERSION

a formula 1 short stories compilation about my favourite drivers based on each taylor swift song from reputation

taglist: [@celemilii @theseerbetweenus @anniee-mr @stelena-klayley @lozzamez3 @0710khj @afterg1ows @vincentvanshoe @coco-loco-nut @minkyungseokie @lemon-lav @stinkyjax @seokjinkismet @c-losur3 @annewithaneofthegreengable @khaylin27] thanks to all of you who wanted to be tagged! don't forget you can join my taglist by commenting or telling me through dm <3

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

are you ready for it?

TACK 1 ...READY FOR IT | charles leclerc x reader ⋆ smau Y/N finally decides she's ready to start a relationship with Charles even people just hate her so much for her past dating other F1 drivers.

TRACK 2 END GAME | george russell x reader Y/N, after dating too many guys for fun, is finally ready to settle down her mind by starting dating George, her brother’s best friend.

TRACK 3 I DID SOMETHING BAD | fernando alonso x reader ⋆ smut Fernando has a night one stand with Y/N De la Rosa, his friend Pedro’s daughter. He knows that’s bad, but why the forbidden feels so good?

TRACK 4 DON'T BLAME ME | oscar piastri x reader Y/N is scared to start a relationship with Oscar not only because she’s broken more hearts than she can remember, but also because everyone told her she’s not good enough for the McLaren driver.

TRACK 5 DELICATE | max verstappen x reader Y/N started dating Max and, since the first minute, their relationship has been public. She’s so in love, she’s so happy to be with someone as nice as Verstappen, but she’s also so insecure and vulnerable about what others think about them.

TRACK 6 LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO | lando norris x actress!reader ⋆ smau After breaking up with his boyfriend of three years, Y/N decides to move forward and show people that she wasn’t the villain of her and Lando’s story.

TRACK 7 SO IT GOES... | charles leclerc x reader ⋆ smut After having one of the worst fights of their relationship due to some photos that were leaked and the thoughts of the media and fans of Y/N cheating on Charles, the couple decides to solve problems in a not so talkative way.

TRACK 8 GORGEOUS | sebastian vettel x musician fem oc Sebastian decides to spend a weekend by himself next to Alessia Cavalli, the girl he might be falling in love with after his wife, Hanna, cheated on him. Sebastian is captivated by Alessia, but he can’t just express his feelings: not only the media will become obsessed with them, but also Hanna and the rest of Seb’s family. So, for now, not only Vettel, but also Cavalli, will have to be friends even tough they think about each other they’re gorgeous.

TRACK 9 GETAWAY CAR | george russell x reader After having a relationship with his teammate, Lewis Hamilton, and having broken up with him after many years dating, Y/N just need George as a getaway car.

TRACK 10 KING OF MY HEART | lewis hamilton x reader ⋆ smau Y/N was happy to be single until she met Lewis in one of the Louis Vuitton events.

TRACK 11 DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED | oscar piastri x reader Oscar really wanted to spend the rest of his life with his best friend. Y/N wanted to be honest with Oscar and tell him she was truly, madly, deeply, in love with him. However, things turn out to be different and they decide to hide their feelings because they know things will get worse if they're honest to each other.

TRACK 12 DRESS | sebastian vettel x singer fem!oc ⋆ smut Sebastian asks Diana, the girl who used to be her best friend and girlfriend, to go with him to FIA Prize Giving 2018. Diana, who’s a famous singer, decides to wear a dress only for Seb, the guy she still has feelings for and also the father of her daughter, to take it off. Will Seb still have the same feelings for Diana?

TRACK 13 THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS | mick schumacher x reader After a meal with Mick's family and friends, Y/N finds out that the toxicity she was dealing with in her relationship with Schumacher wasn't just a thought she had but a reality she was living.

TRACK 14 CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT | sebastian vettel x reader After the loss of her mother due to Alzheimer, Y/N meets Sebastian in a therapy group, who seems to be his savior when her life was falling down to pieces.

TRACK 15 NEW YEAR'S DAY | carlos sainz x reader A proposal on New Year's Day is what Carlos' girlfriend wouldn't have expected after dating for almost nine years with the Spanish guy

[misskingshit]

𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘵 summary: where he has an interest in a certain pop singer, and he doesn't try to hide it. note: believe me or not i’ve been listening hip hop since Im like 15 y/o, soooo why not do an M&M’s fic?? Let me know if u want part 2! xoxo

The lyrics of Mr Eminem's new song being mostly about you? That was something you definitely didn't expect.

I get so weak on my knees

Lose all control

Damn, her silhouette

So hot

Fuck bein’ a gentleman

I'm going to fuck her instead

The red carpet at the Grammys has always been a dream for you, you had already won a couple of awards, today... you were excited to be the presenter of one of them.

Best Rap Album.

To say you were excited is an understatement.

You've loved this genre of music since you were a teenager, Tupac, Fifty, Snoop...to name the most classics.

The camera flashes were the only thing you saw, accompanied by many voices that stunned your ears just by hearing your name.

"Y/N! over here!" A reporter called you, without hesitation, you approached.

"Hey how are you?" you asked with a big smile.

"Incredible! How are you? I imagine you're very excited for tonight" he smiles.

"Don't even mention it! I can't wait to call the winner on stage!"

"Do you think Eminem is nominated? He's been on everyone's mouth lately with his latest song..."

Here we go.

"Yeah... well, I'm sure he'll be nominated, I mean, he's fucking Eminem, it would be like a sin if he wasn't, right?" You laughed a little awkwardly.

"What do you think about his last song, about his comments towards you? 50% of people are upset calling Eminem a degenerate..." you didn't let him finish speaking.

"Well...I really like him, I mean, I've always been his fan and it's an honor to be named in one of his songs. Plus I also think that...we all know how he's like, if you don't like his way to be, to think, to speak, the lyrics of his songs, just don't listen to it and that's it, problem solved, I don’t see the point in hating so much on something you can just...ignore" you laugh looking at the camera "Just take things more lightly, not everything is fighting and bad intentions."

You finished your conversation with said reporter and simply headed to your designated seat.

On the other hand, a certain blonde boy was also being attacked with questions regarding his controversial lyrics.

"She's here? Shit, I want to see her," the blonde rapper said, showing a small, very small, smile, turning his head around with the intention of catching some sign of the hot pop singer, you.

"Yes! In fact she will be the one to present the award for best rap album!"

"No shit! Damn man she's here" Em turned around and said to his best friend, Proof.

In a few minutes everyone finished settling into their seats and you both were surprised when you looked at each other, just a few seats away.

You were five seats to the right and three to the back, so you caught him every time he turned his head back a little to look and smile at you.

Until, soon...your moment had arrived, you got up from your seat to head backstage.

By the way, when you walked past the rapper, he didn't try to hide the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off you for even a second.

"And the Grammy goes to..." you created some tension "EMINEN!" You blurted out the name more excited than you should have.

The rapper's reaction might not have been very expressive normally, but he couldn't contain his smile when he knew who would be the one giving to him his award. The rapper and his friends got on stage and it was inevitable that you felt nervous as you watched him walk towards you, with a playful look, as if he knew what he generated in you.

"Congratulations," you whispered when he was close enough to you, taking the grammy as you felt the soft brush of his fingers against yours, he did it on purpose.

You didn't expect him to give you a hug.

"That's all I get?" He whispered back to you, keeping your faces close and your noses touching, his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him as if he didn't want to move away from you.

A great bustle from the public was heard, and it took them both out of the small cloud in which they were.

This was definitely going to stir the waters.

You both walked away, while you greeted and congratulated the rest of his friends (Proof winking at you in the process).

"Wow, shit, this is crazy, thank you so much to everyone who made the production of this album possible, Dr Dre, who always had my back, I will be forever grateful...and my god, damn, thanks to whoever the fuck is that put this beauty in that dress..." he turned to look at you and winked "Y/N Y/L/N ladies and gentlemen, the source of my inspiration for Heat Seeker"

Obviously, you blushed.

The entire audience was applauding, probably already starting to gossip among themselves about the little show between you and Eminem.

Like a gentleman he offered you his hand as he watched you walk down the steps of the stage with great caution. "Thank you," you whispered. “Any time” he smiles at you.

´Til the end of the awards you continued to connect glances from time to time, you also noticed how his friends bothered him every time he turned his head to look at you.

"Hey, Y/N! wait!" listen to yourself behind your back. "Hey," you looked at him softly, "whats up?" He shook his head quickly. "I just wanted to…I mean, normally I wouldn't give a shit, but, I wanted to make sure that the song didn't offend you, it wasn't to upset you…" You interrupted his attempt to apologies "Don't worry, I understand it was just the song, I didn't take it personally, actually, I loved it" you laughed. "You did? I'm glad you're not like the rest and laugh instead of being offended." His attempt to hide his smile failed completely.

It just slips away from him.

Just with you.

A few seconds of silence took over the situation, though it wasn't uncomfortable, your eyes connected and you didn't seem to realize that you had been staring at each other. "Uhm, I was about to go to my hotel," you pointed behind you, "I was gonna change for the afterparty."

"Can I go with you?" He asked you, but before you processed the fact that he wanted to go with you to your hotel, he interrupted your thoughts "I mean, just so then we can go to the party together, if you want" he scratched the back of his neck.

You didn't even need to think about it "Yeah, I would like that" you smiled.

The two of you walked together towards your limo, captured by several cameras, so neither of you doubted that tomorrow you would wake up to a bunch of articles about how Eminem and Y/N left the Grammy's together. But none of you care about it.

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Idol!Song Mingi x F!Reader TW : reader is an internatiol ATINY ; nationality unspecified ; pure angst ; long distance relationship ; arguing ; disastrous break up ; heartbreak ; it's just sad ; he's a little bit, slightly yandere ; Word Count : 8.0k A/N : Mingi angst!! Yay! Haven't written for ATEEZ in a good bit! This one is fun! I have full control and I love it! Time for some heartbreak!! This turned a little yandere... But I hope you still like it! Also, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'm trying to write as much as I can! Request : Anonny : hi! I was wondering if you could do a mingi angst! I've been reading your angst fics and well just your gifs for like the past year and never had the courage to ask until now! I don't really have specifics and you could just do whatever you want with plot wise or something! I haven't thought about plot and stuff yet, just mingi angst 😭

The last fancall, it was kind of sad, but in a way, also relieving. They got to just relax after this call, they didn’t have to try to understand what an international fan was saying, not that it was a problem, but it was hard, although they’d never expect anyone to learn Korean just for them. They all loved talking to ATINY though, even if it were just a few, they got to personally get to know them for a minute or two, they got to joke with them, laugh with them, even playfully flirt with them. It was just nice to have some kind of interaction with the fans that brought them to where they were today. 

It was your first fancall, you weren’t even sure how you had gotten so lucky to be chosen, but you had been, and when you got the email you screamed so loud that your neighbor started banging on the walls. Something as small as a video call, but it was huge to you, it felt like a dream. Surely, anyone who wasn’t a fan of k-pop wouldn’t understand, they’d probably think you were crazy for getting so excited over something like this… But this just might be the closest you’d ever get to any of them, and it would most definitely be the only time you ever got to talk to them. 

You had done your hair and your makeup and you had changed your outfit about six times before settling on something more casual. It’s not like any of them would remember you anyway, and you weren’t even upset about that, you were just glad to be able to have this opportunity… an opportunity that had you so insanely flustered that you could barely even speak when Hongjoong showed up on your screen. 

How embarrassing it was to sit in front of your favorite idols, not all of them at once, but one by one, they all got to look at you and see you looking so absolutely enamored that they were in fact actual people. The most you could get out was a ‘hello’, and even that was kind of squeaky and they would laugh, which in turn would make you more shy. They were all so nice though, asking you what your favorite song was and who your bias is, even though you couldn’t seem to find your voice. You wondered if things like this happened often. 

Then you got to Mingi, who was last second to last in the lineup. He wasn’t exactly your bias, you didn’t really have one, they were all amazing and attractive in their own personal ways. But damn did he look good. If you were awestruck before, you were completely starstruck now, your eyes widening as you took in his perfect features and just… everything about him. 

“Oh my god…” You said, under your breath you had assumed, but he had to have heard you considering he turned around and looked behind him before looking back at the camera to smile and wave at you. “Hi…” His turn was slightly different, it made you feel different. The other guys had simply looked at you, but it felt like Mingi was really looking at you. What did he see? Did you have something in your teeth? Was your hair messed up? You felt shy, like you were standing right in front of your crush. It was crazy. 

“You ever been to Korea?” He asked, and it was so blunt, but he had this cheeky smile on his face that both eased your nerves and somehow had them going haywire at the same time. You giggled nervously and shook your head no. “You should come, it’s nice here. A lot of pretty girls, you’ll fit right in.” He… He just called you pretty? Was this fan service? It had to be! He was just really really good at it. “Do you have a boyfriend?” None of the other guys had asked you these types of questions, why were things getting so personal? Why didn’t you seem to mind it when it was coming from him? You shook your head no once again. “Good. I’m your boyfriend now. Okay?” 

It probably wasn’t a good time to take a sip of water, not that you had expected him to say something like that, but you spit it out all over your desk, completely in shock at the words that you had just heard him say. There was no way he was being serious right now. His fan service was immaculate. “Oh…Okay!” You stammered out, and you wondered how long this would go on. He had surely passed up the timer. 

“My turn now!!” You heard Wooyoung shout from beside him, and Mingi groaned loudly as his bottom lip jutted out. “I’m gonna steal your girlfriend, deal with it.” He teased, and you let out a small sigh. It was just fan service. You felt kind of foolish for momentarily getting worked up over something that he probably said to 20 other people today. 

“I’ll see you again, yeah?” He asked, his words coming out rushed, and what the hell were you supposed to do? Say no?! You obviously wanted to see him again, that would be awesome, but the chances of you winning a fan call raffle twice were so low, you would be crazy to think that you’d ever have a moment like this again. 

“Yeah… Yeah, you will.” You said, because even though you knew he was just very skilled in acting, you might as well play along with it. For a few short seconds, you had been Song Mingis girlfriend… And now that you had moved to a call with Wooyoung… All you could think about Mingi and his words and the way he looked at you. It drove you crazy… He drove you crazy. He had just become your ultimate bias though!

///

“I’m not gonna be able to go to the Ateez concert.” Your friend mumbled, and part of you, the more selfish part of you, was partially glad that she wasn’t able to go. She had flaunted the fact that she got front row tickets and you hadn’t been able to get even a back seat, they were sold out before payday. “Stupid fucking job, not giving me a day off. I requested it too!” 

“That’s bullshit.” You shook your head, trying your best to sympathize with her, but all you could selfishly think was that if you weren’t lucky enough to go, she shouldn’t be lucky enough to go either. “Are you going to sell the ticket? You could get some good profit considering it’s a front row seat.” You quizzed, but the way she was looking at you made you quite uneasy. It looked like she was planning something… or at least thinking of something, and you didn’t know if it was malicious or something else completely. She was hard to read. 

Long, manicured nails tapped against the table top, the sound putting you even more on edge, and then she sighed. “I know that your birthday is coming up, and… well I’m poor because I bought this damn ticket so…” Her shoulders shrugged, but there was a slight, tight lipped smile spreading across her face. “I’m just gonna give it to you. Happy early birthday! Yay! Tell Yuno I love him so much.” 

Your jaw might as well have been on the floor. Was fate really giving you a good hand this year? Was this all that good karma you had earned from being a wonderful citizen in society? “Holy shit… No way! Are you being serious right now?” You just had to be sure. There was no way someone would just give up a front row ticket, especially not for free, even if it were your best friend. There had to be some kind of clause. 

“Yes, I’m serious. Now, accept it before I change my mind and just skip work that day. I would have done that anyway if I didn’t have to pay rent.” She rolled her eyes and sunk down in her seat. “Take as many pictures and videos as you can… for me. Please! That’s all I’m asking for.” You nodded your head firmly, shit, that was the easiest thing you’d have to do. “He’ll probably look so good… Maybe…” 

“No take backs!” You blurted out, your finger waving back and forth as you stared at her, and you hoped that she thought you were just goofing around and that your expression didn’t let on just how panicked you felt just by her words. “I will facetime you just so you feel like you’re actually there… Okay?” She was sulking, as anyone would be, you knew damn well that you would be if you were in the same position as her. 

“Just have fun… And make a big sign, you have to get at least one of them to notice you, especially since you’re front row. Take advantage of those seats, bitch.” She teased, reaching her hands across the table to grab yours as she let out a little squeal, kicking her feet and acting as if she were still the one going. Maybe she was just trying to hype you up. “I gave you the best birthday gift, nobody can top me, they shouldn’t even try.” 

“They should definitely still try though… I mean… I like getting things.” She snorted loudly, and you couldn’t help but laugh along with her. She was absolutely crazy and you absolutely adored her. A world without her as your best friend would be dull and boring and you didn’t even want to think about how sad it would be. You would have the best time of your life at that concert, and you’d do it for her. 

///

Picking out an outfit for something like a concert was much harder than picking out an outfit for a video call. This was important, especially since you were going to be in the front row. One of them - hopefully Mingi - would look directly at you at some point. You couldn’t just be casual about it, you had to draw attention to yourself, you had to make sure that you were noticed. This decision felt more crucial than anything else in your life, and that seems quite absurd, but these guys had been the subjects of all your dreams and daydreams, you at least wanted to look good in front of them. 

You had only been to one other concert in your entire life, and it was back during middle school for an indie group when you were going through your “emo” phase. This was bigger than that, you could already tell as you pulled up to the arena and saw the people pouring into the entrance. Your heart was hammering in your chest, it was crazy, you had even gotten there 2 hours early to try to make things easier on yourself but the crowd was already massive. 

The lightstick in your hand was already shaking, but only because of your nerves, but you knew that you couldn’t just sit in the back of the Uber forever, so you climbed out, taking a deep breath before heading into the building. It was somehow more packed inside than it was even outside and it was so insanely congested that it felt more like a train station than an arena for a concert. Did all concert venues look like this or was it just because ATEEZ was performing? 

Since you were front row, you got to go in and watch them warm up… funnily enough, you felt you might miss it considering you didn’t have a single idea where the hell you were going. You were trying your best to navigate through this cluster of people that were just as excited as you were, and you wished that you had someone to help walk you through this whole thing. It was so loud and you were being bumped into, and while they apologized for it, it didn’t make you any less anxious. 

By the time you finally made it in the arena, you were just exhausted. The big sign that you had made and brought along with you had miraculously made it through all of it unscathed, but you were drained. You dropped down into your seat, hoping that your hair and your outfit had survived as well as the sign, but there was no mirror and you didn’t want to risk getting lost on your way to or from the bathroom, so you just had to rely on that hope that you still looked as good as you did when you left the house. 

It felt like you hadn’t even had enough time to really catch your breath or cool off before the guys were walking out on stage. Everyone around you was screaming, but you were so enamored by the sight of them, literally right in front of you, that your mouth was hanging open but no sound was coming out. You had really thought that the video call was the most amazing thing, but now, you were sure that you were wrong. They were legitimately real, they were right in front of you. “Holy shit…” You mumbled to yourself, and for some reason, even though there were still a pretty good amount of people around you, you were self conscious, you were shy, you were nervous. 

They came to the edge of the stage, one by one, and they all walked by and finished hand hearts that other people were making and stayed still long enough to be in selfies with certain people, none of them really stopped for longer than a minute tops… No one, other than Mingi. 

Oh, Mingi… Who had managed to make your heart flutter through a simple video call, he made you feel like you were going crazy… Surely he wouldn’t remember you though. But why… Why did he full stop on your side of the stage? Why did he kneel down in front of you, his eyes locking with yours as his head tilted to the side? Gosh, he was adorable. There was no way that he would notice you after the couple months that had passed. The video call hadn’t lasted long enough for your face to be saved in his memory. Had it? 

The chants of the people beside you seemed to pull him out of whatever trance he was in, and he quickly stood up and scurried along the stage, but it didn’t go unnoticed that he continued to look back at you, his eyes narrowing as if in deep thought. Did he remember you? 

Soon enough they were off the stage and the rest of the stadium began to fill. The noise was much worse inside the arena, the sound just echoing off the walls and filling your ears, and you wondered how people could handle it constantly. You were sure that you’d have a major headache once you got out of there. The sudden influx of people and the growing excitement of the show that was about to begin had taken your mind off of the slightly strange interaction from before. You shouldn’t think so hard about those things, it was foolish and you didn’t want to be delusional. 

As the show started, the screams that you had originally thought to be loud seemed to multiply tenfold and your ears were already ringing. Of course, you had a seat right next to the speaker. Would your eardrums even make it through the night? Were there enough ibuprofen in the world to soothe the awful ache in your head once you got back home? 

It didn’t matter now, you just wanted to enjoy the show. You were here to enjoy the concert, to live the experience… But also, not forget to get enough video footage of Yunho to thank your friend for the ticket. This was something that you wouldn’t be able to do again, at least for a long time. Screw the headache, you should enjoy it while it lasts, and that’s exactly what you were going to do. 

///

“I swear, I think that’s her in the front row.” Mingi said backstage after the warmups. The guys all stared at him like he was crazy, but he knew that he wasn’t. He knew your face, he knew your eyes, they had filled his dreams every night… They thought he was crazy for that too. “I’m so serious right now. I wouldn’t say it’s her if it wasn’t.” 

Wooyoung snorted, but patted Mingi on the back as he walked by. “Maybe you’re the delusional one. Spotting your dream girl out in the crowd. That’s crazy. Come on, we have to get ready. Get your head out of your ass.” Mingi pouted as he walked over to the stylist and dropped down into his seat beside Hongjoong. 

“I’m being so serious right now. You believe me, right? I mean… You saw her in the call. You know what she looks like. That was her out in the crowd… Right?” Mingi asked, trying to keep his voice down so that Wooyoung wouldn’t come over and completely crush his dreams and rain on his parade. Hongjoong chewed on his bottom lip, looking at Mingi through the mirrors that were in front of them. “You… You believe me… Don’t you?” 

Hongjoong sighed, turning to Mingi with a slight pout. “I didn’t… But if you really believe you saw her, I’m happy for you. I’m not going to tell you that you’re crazy.” He pushed himself up off of his chair and stretched, preparing himself for the show that he was about to put on for all the fans. “It’s almost time to go out there…” 

“Yeah! Maybe you’ll see your girlfriend!” Wooyoung chimed in, seemingly coming from out of nowhere. “It’s okay to be delusional, bud. I’m not judging you for it.” Although it seemed like he was judging him a lot for it, Mingi tried to avoid the teasing and focus more on the fact that he was about to head out on stage in less than five minutes. 

He was so nervous though, not for the reasons that most would think though. Being up on stage in front of thousands of people wasn’t the issue, it was being up on stage in front of you. What were the chances of you winning a fancall and being at a show too? It’s like the universe was trying to bring the both of you together. He truly believed that. He couldn’t think of any other reason for those two things to happen. Especially with you being right in front… Front row seats, like he was meant to see you. It wasn’t a coincidence, it couldn’t be, and he knew that it was you. Your face was unforgettable to him. He daydreamt about it every day, he would have dreams of you every night. He couldn’t get you out of his head. 

///

The speakers in front of you send vibrations through the air around you, you could feel it in your muscles, in your bones. The entire arena went dark for a moment, and then you heard the crowd roar as they walked out. You had already seen them once during their warm up, but it was like the first time again, your breath held in your lungs as they walked out, the music crescendoing the closer they got to the edge of the stage. 

It felt like when you ride a rollercoaster, the slow climb to the top of the hill, and you knew that the edge was coming soon, that feeling of falling, excitement and fear all in one… But this time there was no fear, it was just the strange tingly feeling in your stomach, that last breath of air before you’d let it all out in one loud scream. 

Building and building, their bodies like shadows in the darkness, and then with one click the spotlights turned on and they were illuminated, the bright lights shining on each and every one of them, but you were only looking specifically at one. An audible gasp left your lips as you seemed to once again lock eyes with Mingi.

Your hands shook as you held up the sign that you had made, feeling quite foolish now as it was hoisted above your head. “Call Me Mingi”, with your phone number written neatly at the bottom. It was a joke, one that your friend had laughed about right alongside you as she added the glitter to the glue hearts that had been neatly placed along the board. 

It was crazy, you and your friend both agreed to that, but it was probably a good switch up from the typical signs that asked the idols to marry them. What was even crazier though was when Mingi pulled out his phone, aiming it in your direction and snapped a quick photo. You couldn’t be delusional, being delusional wasn’t good for your heart or your mind, but you also couldn’t help but think that maybe he took the photo so that he could check back on the sign… So that he could call you… 

The rest of the concert felt more like a blur, stuck in your own mind thinking about what Mingi could have wanted that picture for. You didn’t see any of the other guys taking pictures of the crowd… Or maybe you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice if they did. You couldn’t stop thinking about it though, and before you knew it, the concert was over and you couldn’t even remember the setlist or the last song they played before the main lights in the arena turned back on and everyone began filing out. 

Your friend was going to kill you, you hadn’t gotten a single video of Yunho for her. You honestly were quite pissed at yourself as well. This is why delusions aren’t good at all. You missed the whole concert, one that you most likely were never going to be able to experience ever again, because you were too busy thinking about whether Song Mingi, a literal idol, would make the time to call someone like you. 

///

“You didn’t get a single video of Yunho!? Oh my god!” Your friend whined as you laid in bed, your phone next to your head, not even on speaker, but her voice was loud enough that it didn’t need to be. “Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t go to the concert. I can’t afford to be a delulu as your ass.” 

“I’m sorry!” You mumbled, throwing your hands over your face and letting out a loud groan. “I just… I’m not even thinking about him calling my number at this point. I just don’t want him to post a picture of it online and have a bunch of people trying to call me or text me, you know?” You explained, finally getting over your delusions and moving onto a safer, yet still highly panic inducing train of thought. 

“Oh! Your phone is going to be blowing up! You’ll finally be super popular!” Your friend teased, snorting loudly as she said it, but you could only muster a slightly annoyed shut up in response before your phone started vibrating. “It begins! Maybe he did post it!” 

“Oh hell no! I’ll call you back!” You said quickly, ending the call with your friend to quickly answer the incoming call. “Look. I don’t know where you got my number, but if it’s from where I think it is, I will not tolerate unsolicited calls. This is harassment.” 

“Oh…” The voice on the other end was quite timid, but you could tell it was a guy. He sounded kind of nervous, and although all of you wanted to believe who you thought it was, you didn’t want to go down that road again, at least not tonight. “But your number was on the sign… I thought you wanted the phone call.” 

“The sign was a joke!” You explained exasperatedly, kicking your legs like a toddler in the store who was throwing a temper tantrum. You surely didn’t want to deal with this right now. “Unless you are Song Mingi, I’d advise you to hang up the phone and find someone else to bother this late at night.” 

There was a chuckle, although the sound was slightly muffled, but it was extremely agitating that someone found this funny. As if harassment was something comical nowadays. “So I shouldn’t hang up the phone then… Right?” You scoffed loudly, finally getting up from your bed and pacing around your room, something that you often did when you were just too annoyed to sit still. 

“Look, this isn’t funny. If you’re doing this to mess with me, I’m sure you’ve already had your fun. I’m trying to get some sleep, I’m exhausted. It would be really cool of you to not fuck with people like this.” The words came out in huffed breaths, you were beyond pissed, not just at whoever this person was, but at yourself for being stupid enough to put your number out so publicly just on the small chance that someone like Song Mingi would actually dial your number. 

A soft hum, and then your phone started vibrating again, this time an invite to a video call that you surely weren’t up to accepting. You let it continue ringing until it ended, and you thought that it would be a one and done type of thing, but then it started vibrating again. “Just for a second, you don’t even have to be on the camera, I just want to show you something.” 

You didn’t exactly mean to laugh as loudly as you did, but you had heard that line one too many times in your lifetime to trust it. “Look bud, I don’t want to see a live action shot of your dick and balls. I wasn’t born yesterday.” You snarkily shot back, and the audible gasp that came through your speaker had it crackling slightly. 

“Who did that to you? That’s disgusting… Hold up. We don’t have to call. I’ll just… Send you a selfie real quick. Not of my dick and balls.” Were you so annoyed that you were laughing, or did you actually find him funny? You weren’t sure, but regardless of what it was, you laughed at his little quip, your hand moving over your mouth so that the guy didn’t think he was actually getting anywhere right now. 

Your phone buzzed in your hand once again, and luckily it was only once, but when you went to your texts, you were met with a selfie of the guy that was on the other end of the line… The guy that the sign had been made for. “I call bullshit!” You blurted out, because there was no way in hell your little glitter bomb sign would have worked. You just couldn’t fathom it.

“Reverse image search it then. It doesn’t exist anywhere else than in your messages.” He said rather bluntly, quite cockily too. Now that you were really listening to his voice though, you couldn’t deny that it sounded all too familiar to the voice you heard at the concert, and not just that, but the voice you had heard in your phone before when you had won the fancall. You were stunned into silence, you didn’t know what to say or what to do next, and he could tell. “You believe me now?” 

“Mmhm…” Was all you could mutter, because what else were you supposed to say? How were you supposed to think of anything coherent when you were currently in a very real, very one on one call with Song Mingi… Or was it one on one? Did his managers know about this call? Were they just standing around him listening to every word you and him say? Did they freak out when he sent the selfie to you? 

“So… I’m going to be here… Close to you… For another two days…” What was he hinting at? Ain’t no way he was hinting at what you thought he was… right? “If you want to meet up for lunch or dinner… or something…” Holy shit he was. “I know that this is crazy, I just needed to be sure…” 

“Sure of what?” You asked, and your heart felt like a freight train, speeding straight to your ribcage and you were sure it was going to shoot out in a matter of seconds. 

“I… I need to be sure that I do actually like you…” 

///

Two days wasn’t enough, but in a sense, it was for him. It felt like a dream when he finally met up with you, even though he had to practically disguise himself from the public, it felt nice to just be able to sit across from you for lunch and talk to you. It didn’t take long for him to be 100… No… 500% sure that you were the woman that he wanted to be with. Love worked in crazy ways, but he trusted it, because the odds of everything lining up so perfectly to get to this moment… It was fate, it had to be. 

The way your body froze for a second before melting against his when he so suddenly pressed his lips to yours. It was a spur of the moment thing, but it felt right, and he needed to kiss you now because he knew that the moment wouldn’t come again for a long time. It wasn’t supposed to lead to anything more, it wasn’t what he had planned, but before either of you could really think twice, you were falling back onto the hotel mattress and he was falling on top of you. 

In that moment, it was like his heart grew ten times bigger, and laying beside you, your hair carelessly clinging to your sweat covered forehead as you dozed peacefully beside him… Love wasn’t hard to find, the world was just waiting to bring the one you were supposed to love to you. That’s how he felt, and he believed it wholeheartedly. How could he not when he felt like he was falling deeper and deeper in love with you with every soft breath that escaped your lips. 

To live in that moment forever, both bodies hidden underneath wrinkled sheets, his feet hanging out from the end of the blanket, your arm draped lazily over his bare chest. Could you feel his heart beating beneath his skin? It seemed like now it was only beating for you. He saw his future flash before his eyes, mornings like this, every morning like this, just waking up beside you, being able to see your beautiful face as soon as he opened his eyes. What a wonderful future it would be to spend it with you. 

Falling in love was easy when it was with you, but it was hard… It was hard because he knew he couldn’t stay with you, at least not in person. He had to go back to Korea, he had to finish the rest of the tour. His heart felt like it was connected to yours entirely, and having to leave you behind was going to be painful… But it would work. He’d make it work, solely because he couldn’t imagine his life without you in it. 

“I wish I could take you with me…” He whispered, and while he knew that that wish couldn’t be granted, not yet at least, he had been able to swindle security to pick you up just so that he could ride with you to the airport, so that he’d be able to see you one last time before he had to go. “I’ll message you… I’ll call you every day.” 

“What if you get bored?” You practically whimpered, and his heart cracked at the question. How could he ever get bored of you? He had spent months before the concert just thinking about you before he even knew where you lived or what you were truly like. He had been loyal to the singular thought of you. There was no way that he’d give up so easily when he finally had you and was able to call you his. 

“I’d never get bored, baby. I’ll wait, always… Until we can be together.” He reassured you, his hands cupping your cheeks gently as he wiped away the stray tears that fell from your eyes. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry. I’ll start crying and then I won’t be able to get out of the car because I won’t want to leave you…” He kissed your forehead, and then the tip of your nose before leaning back and giving you a smile that had his eyes disappearing momentarily. It was your favorite smile, you had told him multiple times, and it always seemed to cheer you up. 

“I’m sorry…” You sniffled, leaning forward and resting your head against his chest. Could you hear his heart now, could you hear how fast it was beating for you? “You should go now… I don’t want you to miss your flight.” The words sounded choked out, and he would have said more, but he knew that his words would come out the same way. 

For some people, two days wasn’t even enough to be acquaintances, but for him, two days was enough for him to feel like his heart belonged to you completely. You were his soulmate, his everything, without a doubt… He wouldn’t even look at another woman, he wouldn’t be able to look at anything without somehow finding a way to see you in whatever it was. He loved you with every ounce, every fiber of his being. 

“I’ll… I’ll try to make a stop here after the tour… I’ll visit you again… Before I go back to Korea… Okay?” He held out his pinky to lock with yours, twisting his hand and pressing his and your thumbs together. “Wait for me… Always wait for me, okay?” You nodded your head quickly, your nose scrunched up in the most adorable way as the tears continued to fall down your cheeks. With one last kiss, he was moving away, closer to the door. He hated goodbyes. “Get her home safe, okay… Please.” He told the driver who simply nodded, and then he was gone. 

The windows were tinted, and although he knew that you could see him constantly looking back at you through the windows, he couldn’t see you at all. The last image of you that he held in his mind was your tear stained cheeks and the expression of sadness as he let go of your finger and your hand dropped back down to your lap. He wished he could take you with him, but life just wouldn’t allow that… Not right now at least. 

///

For a good amount of time, you both kept in touch with each other frequently. Hell, you even had your first argument as soon as he got back to Korea because he pinky promised that he’d come visit you before he left, but he didn’t. It was quickly solved though, because one of the main things the two of you had going for the relationship was communication. He promised that when he had free time he would come visit you for a week, and you held onto that promise just as you had held onto the one from before. 

You would talk about how your day was, all the little things that happened, regardless of time difference or schedules, you both always found a way to keep in contact. For months your nights would end with video calls from him, and his nights would end with video calls from you. Everything was perfect, he truly felt that way. 

But soon the messages came in less often, it seemed like you were always busy doing something when he wanted to talk. He’d call you at night and you wouldn’t answer, always miraculously not having your phone with you or on when the call would come in. He didn’t understand it, and when he went to one of the other members to talk, he didn’t want to hear what they had to say either. 

There was no way that you were getting tired of him. You couldn’t be getting bored… Because he promised you that he wouldn’t get bored. It would be hypocritical for you to ask him if he’d get bored of you and then… then get bored of him. 

The thought stuck with him though, and while that would usually make most people give up, it just made him try harder. He messaged you as much as he could, he sent you constant pictures, he tried to call you whenever he knew you’d be on a lunch break or when you’d usually get off work. Your responses were always so dry though. Were you trying to get rid of him? Had he done something wrong? He was doing his best, it’s not like he enjoyed being so far away from you. It had only been 3 months… He was willing to wait forever to be with you… Why couldn't you do the same for him? 

“Hey baby, how did you sleep?” Nowadays he felt nervous when he texted you. He didn’t know whether he’d get a one word reply or no reply at all. It felt pathetic that the days he’d get the one word replies were his favorite, but you had been leaving him on read so often now that even the smallest response felt like a win to him. 

“I think we should talk…” A five word reply, and while the words didn’t sit right with him and they made his stomach do flips, it was nice. It was nice to think that you wanted to talk to him, regardless of what it was about. 

“Yeah sure! I’m down to talk, do you want to call? I haven’t seen you in a while. I miss you!” 

“No calling… It’ll just make this harder.” Make what harder? What were you going to say that could possibly be so hard? You weren’t… leaving him… were you? You couldn’t be… He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was devoted to you, he was loyal to you in every way. You weren’t just going to give up on him that easily… Were you? 

“Well, whatever it is that you have to say, I want you to know that I love you. I can’t wait to see you again!” Maybe that text would make you rethink whatever it was that you were about to send. If you knew that he loved you, although he did tell you every single day, maybe you’d realize that whatever you were planning on doing wasn’t the right thing to do. 

“Mingi… I can’t keep this up. I… found someone else…” 

“No you didn’t… No you didn’t!” He was already crying even though he wanted his mind to just forget that he had even read that text. “You love me! Don’t you love me?!” You had to love him… Why else would you have been so sad in the car when he went to the airport? “Is this because I couldn’t visit you after the tour was over? I’m sorry! I’ll come visit you! I’ll buy a plane ticket right now!” 

“It’s not that… I need someone that’s here with me. I don’t just want to keep repeating the same conversations every single day. The schedule differences and… Everything is stacked up against us… We weren’t going to work.” 

How could you say something like that? He was doing everything he possibly could to make it work. He was the one putting in all the effort. He was the one staying up later than he should just to be able to call you and message you when you were free. “No… You just didn’t want it to work… I still do!” His fingers moved like lightning across his screen, his eyes blurred with the tears that he was trying so hard to hold back. “You can’t decide something like that.. If you would have talked to me… We could have made it work.” 

Did you know that you were killing him, that you were breaking his heart? Would you take the words back if he told you? “I don’t want to argue with you… I just wanted you to know…” Were you as nonchalant as your texts made it seem you were? You really didn’t care… But maybe… Maybe if he gave you some time… A bit of time you’d come to realize that you did love him. He won’t message you… He’ll let it simmer… Maybe you’ll end up missing him and messaging him first. 

So he waited, and days turned into weeks, and he thought he’d be able to wait a month, but then you started posting on Instagram. You looked so happy in your pictures, you looked absolutely gorgeous, and the smile that you were wearing was the same one you had given him during those two days he got to be with you. He swiped through, and he was fine… Maybe not as fine as he wanted to be, but he was fine with seeing the pictures of just you. It brought back happier memories of when he was able to actually be with you. Then he got to the last picture, the guy that you were currently with, he assumed, his arms around you and his lips planted to your cheek. 

As if your words hadn’t been enough to have his heart breaking in two, the pictures felt like you were purposely throwing it in his face that he couldn’t be with you, that he couldn’t make you happy. He couldn’t stand seeing it, he was pissed, he was devastated, he wanted to lash out and he wanted to cry. Why were you doing this to him? What had he done? 

There wasn’t a single thought in his mind as he closed the instagram app and went to kakao, not even bothering to text you before his thumb slammed down on the call button. He didn’t care if you answered the first time, he’d just keep calling until you did, and that’s exactly what he had to do. It took 6 times for your exasperated breath to come through the speaker when you finally answered, but he wasn’t going to give you any time to complain. 

“Did you post it to piss me off or upset me? Because you did both! I guess you’re really winning now, aren’t you? You got to break up with a k-pop idol and break his heart! Good for you!” Right off the bat he was ranting, and maybe he sounded a little bit psychotic, maybe he sounded just slightly obsessed, but when you’re in love with someone, isn’t that how it should be? 

The sound of a man talking in the background had Mingis ears perking up. Were you with the guy still? Oh, how he wished the guy would get on the phone, he’d love to have a word with him. “You’re being ridiculous. I had a clear, logical reason to break up with you. I didn’t do it to hurt you or piss you off. I just wanted to be happy.” How could you sound so sad when you were the one that left him. He didn’t do this! You did! 

“What about my happiness?!” He screeched, running his hand through his hair. He had become aware of the rest of the guys all coming into the room to check on him, but he didn’t care enough to stop. You were going to listen to what he had to say, and those that decided to stick around would have to listen to it too. “You gave up on everything… You’re so selfish! And you weren’t even going to tell me!” 

“I was going to tell you!” You shouted back, and for some reason, it made him kind of excited to hear you fighting back. Something about hearing you get emotional over his words… It had butterflies swarming his stomach. “I didn’t even have time to fully think about how I was going to tell you, but you kept fucking messaging me and-” 

“Of course I kept messaging you! You were my girlfriend and I hadn’t heard from you! Don’t try to act like I’m the bad guy when you’re the one who was practically cheating on me!” While he was angry, he was also struggling to keep from laughing. It would probably sound a bit maniacal to start laughing right now though, and that’s the last thing he wanted. He just found it so cute, the way you were swearing and breathing so heavily, he could almost perfectly envision your face right now. 

You huffed loudly, and the sound was so beautiful to him. Maybe it was just the fact that you hadn’t hung up yet… You were still making time out of your day that you were spending with your boyfriend to focus on him. “I don’t know why you’re being such an asshole right now… I didn’t do anything to you. I never cheated on you… We… What we had… It couldn’t even be considered dating… We were only together for two days…” 

Now he was laughing though, his head falling back as the sound built in his chest. “Yeah okay! Let’s just hope that your boyfriend doesn’t have to go out of town or leave the country for more than a week. You might replace him too!” He shot back and he could almost hear the eye roll from your end. “Maybe you’re not actually meant for relationships, you just want someone to physically dote upon you daily. Sorry I couldn’t fit your selfish needs into my already busy schedule.” 

A small sniffle and the shuffling of fabric, maybe you were wiping your tears or maybe your wonderful boyfriend had come over to wipe them for you. “You’re being unnecessarily mean to me right now…” You whispered, sniffling again before swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry that you’re hung up… And I’m sorry that my happiness is upsetting you. I’m not asking you to stick around though… I’m not forcing you to. You don’t have to stalk my life… You can unfollow me.” 

Of course he wasn’t going to do that. He couldn’t imagine not seeing you on his feed when he opened Instagram, or not having your messages to look back on when he missed you too much. “You’re happiness won’t last long… You’re too selfish to be truly happy with anyone. The first time you can’t get exactly what you want, you give up. Have fun with that.” 

“I-” He quickly hung up, and it was only then that it sank in what he had done… And a wide smile spread across his face. He’d be kicking his feet if they weren’t touching the floor over the edge of the bed. The call only lasted 20 minutes tops, but hearing your voice that long… It was amazing, it made his heart beat a mile a minute and that familiar warm and fuzzy feeling washed over him. 

“Dude… What the fuck?” Wooyoung finally spoke up, concern masking the man's features as he stared at Mingi on the bed. No one had ever heard him talk like that before, and truthfully, he looked and was acting like a complete psychopath right now. “Who was that? What’s going on right now?” 

“I found a way to talk to her…” Mingi said, his chest rising and falling heavily as he let himself drop back onto the bed. He was happy, the happiest he’s been in weeks. “She’ll keep talking if we argue… I just have to keep arguing with her… Then she’ll come back to me. She’ll realize how much she misses me… This’ll work. I know it will.”

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[aryxchse]

school president and the troublemaker. | percy jackson x daughter of hera! reader.

a / n ; hello ya'll it's ya fav daughter of hera writer, this fic is written while i listened to my 'old bts songs' playlist, you know i'm talkin' about you just one day!!!

warnings : cursing, teenagers (that's should be a warning), this is writed by according to my countries school rules so deal with it, also grover, y/n, annabeth and percy are my favorite gang fr, rival-ish friends to lovers??, percy beating the shit out of some guy, mentions of staring, blood, no kiss on the lips ugh

"i fucking hate mondays," the son of poseidon whined, crossing his arms on his desk and leaning his head on them.

the first two class was history, which it didn't made anything better for him. he was a math guy, he didn't liked reading and stuff. but you and annabeth seemed to really enjoy it, even though annabeth is literally dislexic while your adhd was messing with your head.

grover sighed in front of him, leaning his head back until it rested on percy's desk. "i know right?" he said, fixing his green beanie. annabeth and you sighed, rolling your eyes at the two lazy boys.

"oh please, today's class is about mythology. i'm going to fuck that bitch up," annabeth said, smiling at you. you smiled back, knowing how much she hated your history teacher.

"you're fucking every teacher beth." percy yawned next to you, looking at the blonde girl. "they all hate you at this point for real."

"don't care," annabeth shrugged, looking like she was proud of herself. which she was. "they should educate people with truth, not a fucking lie."

"speak louder queen!" you agreed with her, while taking notes to your clipboard. there was a lot of shit going on in this big ass school, and you didn't know why you wanted to be a president of it this much.

at the beginning of the year, percy told you that you shouldn't get ahead of yourself—meaning that you guys can get expelled any day. but it never happened, it was yours second year in this school. three demigod's and one satyr, in the same school for two years. they should write and teach this in history too!

you had a way of talking out of problems, so whenever you four caused a trouble, everyone acted like nothing happened because of the mist. you controlled it in some type of way, because you wanted to be a president of some school before you become an adult.

back to now, percy peeked from your shoulder to see what you were writing on the clipboard.

— TO DO LIST —

visit the art, music and sport club to see if they need anything ✓

send the principal the needs of the clubs ✓

hang the new concert posters to schools board ✓

check if the p.e class needs anything

meeting with the other members at 13.00, lunch break

take the list of needed books in the library and hand the list to principal ✓

help the teachers or principal with the paperwork or sending them to where they should go ✓ (done for today)

you tapped your pen on the clipboard, focusing on the tasks you haven't done yet. percy sighed next to you, getting overwhelmed with how much work you had.

percy and annabeth was in the president club thingy with you, annabeth was the leader of the library club while percy was the sport clubs. they handed you the lists you writed on your clipboard. percy joined you to skip some classes and spend some time with you while annabeth just liked to be in charge.

"i didn't know we had a meeting today," percy whispered to you as the bitchy history teacher came into class. you rolled your eyes at the boy, putting the clipboard away to open your history notebook.

"i literally texted it in our groupchat. but you decided to ignore it and write 'what are we doing after school tomorrow?'" you reminded him. percy was about to answer you, but the teacher started yelling.

"alright kids, today we're learning about the twelve olympians and their wars!"

the four of you tried your hardest to not laugh, instead sharing side-eyes.

"man, for the first time this class will be fun," percy said, resting his cheek on his palm.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

the class was indeed fun.

annabeth had so much fun fixing the teacher's every mistake while the rest of you tried not to laugh. but you took notes anyway. you wrote the notes in ancient greek for the gang to copy from you, since they had dislexia and couldn't read.

"you're the best," annabeth said, kissing your cheek as you handed her the notes. you smiled, blowing a kiss to her way as a response. grover sat next to annabeth while eating a vegan sandwich, and percy was trying to get a drink from the machine.

"ya'll have any more cents?" percy asked, angry at the machine. you sighed and stood up, giving a good kick to the machine. it started working again, dropping percy's blue coke with some snacks. you smiled at him, flipping your hair while you returned to your seat.

"like i didn't know how to do that," he murmured, taking his drink with his now free snacks. he gave the chips to annabeth while handing the m&m's to you. he took the fish cracker to himself, holding it in his mouth to open his coke.

there was this little table at the end of the corridor, right next to the food machine. it was you guys usual spot, and everyone knew it. except the lunch times at the cafeteria, you four always hanged around here.

annabeth rested her back against the wall, laying her feet on top of grover's lap. the satyr didn't mind, since they usually sit like that. your seat was in front of annabeth, as you rested your head against your palm, taking a support from the wall. percy leaned against you, putting his whole weight on you while he eated the fish crackers messily.

you paid no attention to him as you wrote something on your clipboard again. "did we have anything missing in p.e class? like some new basketball's?"

annabeth looked up as she thinked for a moment. "the new one we got apperantly blowed up, at least that's what james told me." you groaned, smashing your head -gently- to the table. "i fucking hate basketball team."

"same," grover said, eating percy's now empty diet coke. "they're like hydra's."

percy laughed at that, making a fist bump with grover.

"when was the meeting again?" grover asked after the laugh session with percy. you groaned again, head still on the table. "read the fucking group chat for gods' sake!"

"man, chill." grover raised his hands in defeat. annabeth closed her own notebook while handing you yours. "thanks babe." she said, patting your head gently. you only made thumbs up to her, leaving the notebook on the table.

percy sighed and sat straight, putting your notebook in your bag. he held you by the waist and made you lean to his shoulder, taking your clipboard away from you. "you've already done almost everything here, the others are useless." he said, voice soft.

you hugged percy's arm to support yourself and annabeth slightly smiled to herself. as your chin rested on top of his shoulder, you looked at the clipboard. "i know but the p.e class is worst than everything i did there, it's so tiring."

"i can help you, you know." he said, putting the clipboard on the table and looking at you. you pulled yourself away to look in his eyes. how those ocean eyes can held so much care in them?

"but you hate checking p.e class," you said quietly, hands still lazily on his bicep. he smirked, putting his own hand on top of yours.

"if it's going to make you shut up, then i'll be glad to help." he teased, and you can see it in his expression. you only rolled your eyes, smile betraying your fake annoyance.

"wow, what a nice man you are percy jackson." you complimented, patting his bicep. he flexed them while he gave you a cocky look. "i know pretty."

"i'm gonna throw up," annabeth said, still smiling. grover nodded, gagging playfully. you both sticked your tongue out to them, chuckling.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

"that's it, i'm not fucking letting you help me through the p.e class check again." you hissed, making percy sit on the infirmary bed.

he fucking had a fight. apperantly some guy from the soccer team checked you out in that pretty school skirt of yours, and percy noticed it. you didn't know why he was this protective or annoyed when it camed to other guys, but now you had to deal with his bloody lip and eyebrow.

"he was fucking you with his eyes, what i was gonna do? give him a view?" he snapped back, his normally sweet shade of sea green eyes now as dark as a storm. you hated when percy looked at you like this. his hatred was easier to see. it wasn't towards to you, it's never towards to you. but you can't help but feel like you're being attacked too.

"nothing, percy. nothing!" you said, your own eyebrows furrowed. no one was in the infirmary because the school sucked at being responsible. you made sure to point this to principal too.

luckily, your best friend was a demigod, who can heal with water. but unluckily for you, there was no water near. so, you had to caress his wounds like the old ways. still, he healed much faster than a mortal could.

the moment alcoholed cotten touched his lip, he hissed. "what the fuck you mean nothing?" he said, but his voice wasn't loud. "you- you had a crush on him or something?" the last sentence camed out his lip weak.

you rolled your eyes at the boy, who's now had a worried expression on his face. you couldn't understand why, but he looked like he could cry if you touched him. "don't tell me you have a crush on that fucking asshole. you can't be serious, i mean- have you seen hi-"

"percy shut up for gods' sake!" you yelled and he jumped. it made you feel a bit bad, but he was not making any sense. you stopped wiping the blood and cleaning the wound on his lip, now starting to put some bandages on it.

"i don't have a crush on the guy, i don't even know who he is." you explained, now wiping his eyebrow. he didn't flinched on this one, instead he was focused on you. "but you can't just attack people just because they're looking at me."

"he wasn't looking, y/n/n. he was literally-"

"fucking me with his eyes, i know." you shushed him gently with your words, your eyes holding too much care in them. weren't you questioning his eyes back then?

you were standing in between percy's legs, and you both were face to face, even though he was sitting. his expression was soft once again, and his eyes shined like always. you held his chin gently while carefuly treating the wound. "but he didn't dared to do anything, did he?"

"i would like to see him fucking try." he hissed.

"believe me, he wouldn't." you assured him, now bandaging him once again. he had a confused look on his face, but one side of him telled him you were right. "those guys like that can do nothing but stare."

there was a silence between you two now. percy kept sitting on the bed while you put away the first aid kit. after that you camed back to your previous place in between percy's legs, hands resting on his thigh.

he gently held your wrists in return, thumbs caressing the place gently. the boy was in the other infirmary in school, since they didn't want to put him in the same place as percy. you wondered how was the boy, because percy was literally about to kill him.

"how am i gonna get a boyfriend if you keep attacking the boys around me?" you joked, and for the first time, percy didn't laughed. he still looked down on your now intertwined hands, looking like he was in some kind of a trance.

you didn't want a boyfriend anyways, you wanted percy. the joke was to lighten the mood, but to also see his reaction. you we're having suspicions or delusions lately, about him liking you back. and you wanted to get a real answer for yourself.

luckily for you, percy was about to give you one.

"i don't want you to have a boyfriend, to be honest." he whispered, his forehead resting on your shoulder. your cheek -you didn't know why- immediatly found it's place on his head, smelling the salt water scent he had.

"why? you wanna keep me to yourself?" you chuckled, asking what you wanted to ask for a long time in a jokeful way.

"yeah, actually." he said.

you frozed. you wanted to keep your actions as warm as possible for him to not think you would ever reject him. you did wanted to get some real answers, but not stomach flipping, toe curling and cheek blushing one like this. your heart beated so fast that you thought you we're having a heart attack, and your breath hitched.

"what?" you managed to ask softly, and your voice felt like an angel to his ears.

"i'm sorry i-" he choked in his own words, afraid to face you. he still kept his head on your shoulder, in fact; he nuzzled into your neck a bit. "i don't want to ruin our friendship, but... in some way i do."

you chuckled, and he felt like the weight on his shoulders lifted.

"i kinda want that too," you whispered back, hands now caressing his bicep. his hands find their way onto your waist, holding you firmly close to himself. his heart was about to pop out from his body and met with yours, just chilling inside your body instead of his. weird way to express what he was feeling, but percy was never good with words anyway.

"yeah?" he breathed out, his smile can be heard from his voice. your own smile matched his, so bright that sun would be jealous. "since when?"

"oh man, i don't want to answer this." you joked, and he laughed. that's the react you've been waiting for. "you'd think i'm obsessed with you."

he raised his face from your neck to look at you, his eyes shining as bright as the sky now. you loved how his emotions reflected in his eyes, making him not be able to hide anything. you knew him better than anyone else anyways, he was always an open book to you.

"oh please, i don't have the right to judge you when i'm this whipped." he said, making you laugh. "we're we even friends this whole time?"

you laughed harder. "you know what? i think the fuck not." you answered through giggles. "we we're just two idiots who pretended to be friends."

as you both laughed there, to your whole situation, percy hugged you tight. an air escaped your lips in suprise, but you were quick to hug him back.

"you don't have any idea how relieved i am right now," he mumbled to your neck, leaving a few light kisses there. your hands caressed his raven hair, massaging the scalp. "i love you, so fuckin' much."

"i love you too, seaweed brain." you said back quietly, kissing on top of his head.

he was about to kiss you on the lips when annabeth and grover barged in.

"finally you idiots!" annabeth said, crossing her arms and resting her back on the door frame. grover put his arm on her shoulder, smirking.

"it's about fucking time, eh?"

[jayybugg]

wasted love

Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader Based on Wasted Love by Jhene Aiko

Summary: Mattheo loses the light of his life.

Warning: Sad, Angst, Kind of happy ending?, Cheating, Maybe a toxic relationship?, Just really sad tbh.

Word Count: 2.9K

Music:

Note: Based on one of my favorite songs by Jhene Aiko. My go-to heartbreak song fr. Please enjoy! I know this is such whiplash from my other posts but I gotta keep yall on your toes. @cafekitsune for the banner!

Put that on my life, everything I love. never crossed no line. it was all because I dedicate my life to loving you right.

You swore yourself to Mattheo. You did it happily because you loved him.

You never did anything that would hurt him or cause a rift between you both. You wanted him to know that you loved him. You knew about his family problems and his lack of a relationship with his parents, especially his father so you wanted him to know that you loved him more than life itself.

Everything you did was for him. your world, your happiness, and your peace were all him.

And maybe that was the problem.

Love comes before pride, I loved you before I even knew why.

You had no shame in you when it came to your relationship with mattheo. You weren't afraid to love him out loud. Mattheo, on the other hand, did. It was almost as if he just never wanted to talk about what you two had.

He was prideful, just like his father. He thought he looked weak, showing you any type of affection. His father showed his mother little to no attention and she was still unwaveringly loyal to him. That's what Mattheo expected from you, much to his foolishness.

"She doesn't deserve that." Theo defended your honor, "Not all women are going to follow blindly after you. at least, not the women you truly want or who truly care about you."

"She loves you, Mattheo. don't lose her because of your pride." Blaise reprimanded him. Mattheo didn't allow his friends' words to sway him. nobody knew him better than you, right?

You could never explain why you loved Mattheo so much. maybe it was your trauma that caused you to latch so easily to him, but you knew that you truly did love him.

"You have to love yourself more than you love him, Y/N!" Pansy pleaded with you. She saw the one-sided relationship and hated how you were treated. Granted, she couldn't read Mattheo or knew what happened behind closed doors but that didn't matter to her.

You were leading yourself down a dark path due to your love for him. A blind man could see that, and you could too but you were ignoring it.

Because you loved him.

How did we get away from love? How did love get away from us? Not my time, I should wait for love. waste of time, what a waste of love.

You weren't delusional, ditzy, or stupid. Maybe you should've taken it slow with Mattheo and waited it out. You saw how Mattheo treated you, but he never did anything to hurt you, emotionally or physically.

That's what you thought until you rounded a corner and saw Mattheo pressing a random girl against a wall, kissing her with so much passion.

You stood there, frozen, just watching. You couldn't pry your eyes away. It didn't take long for those two to notice your presence.

"Piss off, why don't you? Don't you see we're busy?" Mattheo sneered at you, without looking back to see exactly who you were.

You cleared your throat, "Right. I’m sorry." You turned on your heel to make your way back to where you came from. You couldn’t see the complete shock on Mattheo's face to hear your voice.

You hated that everyone was right. You hated that you wasted your love on someone who didn't care for it. You hated how different everything was from when you first started dating Mattheo.

Everything was a waste.

You became my life, put that on my life. Took me out my mind, took my peace of mind. I never realized you were my light. without you by my side, that just don't feel right.

You didn't have to verbally break up with Mattheo. The news of him being caught spread like wildfire around the school and along with your avoidance of him and your class, it was clear.

You left him.

No warning, No talking, No fighting.

To Mattheo, he thought this was a bad dream. that he would wake up and you would be by his bedside with the brightest smile on your face.

But that never happened and the longer it didn't happen, the dimmer his life got. Mattheo got no sympathy from his friends. they all shook their heads and muttered "I told you so" to him.

Mattheo wasn't aware that his life revolved around you until you weren't there. He was bothered by the fact that couldn't catch a glimpse of your smile before class. He had nowhere to during his free period since you always took him on a new adventure during that.

Everything was wrong. He was lonely.

And it was his fault.

He tried to talk to you, but you ignored his many knocks on your door or his attempts to catch you in the hallways. He tried sending you letters but you knew his handwriting and would throw it away without much of a second glance.

He wasn't used to this. He was used to being the one that was being chased. the one that was loved. He had never seen it before either. His mother stayed by his father no matter what he threw at her. Death, screaming, fighting, cheating. His mother stayed through it all.

It made him believe that his mother was pathetic. Just like his father. Two pathetic people living pathetic lives.

Only been a week, I think I’m weak, can't even. I can't even eat, can't sleep, when we ain't speaking. what you telling me, boy, that's a real weak reason. you cut me so deep, it hurts for me to breathe in.

You were suffering.

You didn't hide it or try to. You became dehydrated from crying so much. Your friends visited you as much as they could, trying to uplift your spirits or to get you out the bed so you do your work. Your roommates comforted you in the night when sobs began racking your body.

Your crying was getting so bad that you started having asthma attacks. Madam Pomfrey became concerned with your health and ordered that you visit her every day so she could check on you.

You couldn't eat or sleep. Anything you ate, came right back up and your mind was plagued with images of Mattheo, so sleep was hard to find. Theo and Blaise took turns casting sleeping spells on you. Pansy had to spoon-feed you just to ensure that you had something on your stomach.

"Y/N, please get up and come to class. The professors are all worried about you." Draco kneeled at your bedside. It was weird to see the blonde so concerned which only solidified how badly you were doing.

"Riddle is stupid. For what he did and how he treated you. Don't let him ruin your life, be strong." Draco continued, tugging on your blanket that was snagged in your tight grip.

You simply made a whimpering noise that caused Draco to sigh. he shut off your light and exited your room as he saw his efforts going nowhere.

Any attempt Mattheo made to get in contact with you was foiled by your friends and soon by you. Of course, you read the first few letters that he sent you but after being reminded how he treated you, you threw them into the fireplace.

Mattheo hurt you and he has never done much to protect you. He cut your heart out and stomped on it. now, it was up to you to put it back together. To love yourself as Pansy said.

How did we get away from love? How did love get away from us? Not our time, we should wait for love. waste of time, what a waste of love, you're my wasted love.

Mattheo tried to pinpoint when it all went wrong. When it was no longer you and him. Maybe he got too comfortable or maybe he never appreciated you to begin with. He hated that he fell victim to the 'you never know what you have till you lose it.'

He became unfocused and uninterested in everything. As much as his friends believed that this situation was his fault, they were still concerned for him.

"Mattheo, you have to focus." Theo nudged the boy, who was zoning out. They were in the library in search of some book for his father, but it was the last thing on his mind.

"Bloody hell, when was the last time you slept?" Blaise raised an eyebrow at the dark-haired boy. Mattheo shrugged to answer him. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes. His eyes were emotionless and empty. He could barely keep his head up in lectures. the only time he seemed tuned into the world around him was when it came to you.

"You have to move on. get over yourself. This isn't healthy, not for you or Y/N." Draco chimed, a bit fed up with Mattheo's dramatics.

Mattheo sighed, feelings of defeat piling up. He was nothing but wasted love to you.

You're confused, so you do not know the truth. Listen to your heart, wish you knew your heart.

You wished there was some rewind button. To take you to a point where you weren't so broken.

You tried to forget about Mattheo, but it was hard when he was all you knew so instead you tried to move past him. Mattheo was the past.

Pieces of you would forever wish that you were still with him. You wished he knew his heart and knew how to listen to it because you knew that Mattheo did care.

But it wasn't up to you. It wasn't your responsibility. You were supposed to be his girlfriend, not his mother.

Mattheo was confused, watching you get back out there. Were you not hurting anymore? Did you just switch it off? how?

He didn't know that you were trying to move on. He didn't know that you were attempting to live a life without him. He couldn't understand it.

He didn't want to understand it.

Wish you knew what it sound like, wish you knew what it felt like, wish you knew I was down for life, wish you was really bout that life, wish you knew I was the one, wish you knew what you wanted.

You wanted a lot of things for mattheo. You wanted him to be happy and loved. You wanted him to be able to live and love.

But you always wanted those things for yourself. You had finally mustered up the courage and strength to go back to your normal routine. You wished that things would've gone differently but that wasn't up to you. You did your best, and maybe, just maybe, this was meant to happen. This was a lesson for you and him. To teach you to never give yourself up for anyone and to teach him to appreciate what he has.

Mattheo was sinking further and further into a terrible state. Seeing you going about your day only made it hurt more. The looming tensions of war didn't help either.

In the end, it was better that you both weren't together. You would be safe from his father's eyes.

But would he ever get another chance to get you? If his father won this war, nothing would be the same. You would probably be disgusted with him and what he represented. If his father didn't win, you would keep your distance. He would be an outcast, a black sheep. Sure, you would pity him, but you never make an effort to reach out to him.

He wished that he could tell you how he felt. Wish he could tell you how sorry he was. How didn't mean to do what he did. He wanted to tell you that he loved you and that you were the only one he would ever love. He wished he could tell you that he needed you. He needed your voice, your warmth, and your smile.

But he couldn't because you were finally smiling again, and he was now nothing but a memory to you.

You should do what you wanna. You can do what you want ‘cause I'm gonna set you free, yeah. Visions of you leaving me, yeah. Next thing I know, you're leaving me. No telling where you were leading me, leading me. You're leaving me.

You watched the stars from the astronomy tower. This was your last night at Hogwarts. You would be returning home at your parents' request. Talks of the war were drawing closer and closer to the point that the school was in a frenzy. You were scared for Theo, Draco, Blaise, Enzo, and even Mattheo.

They were overall good people, pressured to follow something that they didn't necessarily believe or lose everything. You had comforted Theo, Draco, Enzo, and Blaise as you kept in contact with them.

You worried that Mattheo had no one to confide in which was only proven right by his appearance. You had finally begun to heal so you couldn't bring yourself to talk to him. You were scared that if you heard his voice, everything would come crashing down on you.

You were so consumed in your thoughts that you didn't hear the door to the tower creak open or the approaching footsteps. It wasn't until a small crash happened that your attention was brought to the new guest.

"Shit. Fuck, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to sneak up on you." Mattheo cursed, avoiding your eye contact. You stared at him before your eyes traveled to the pack of cigarettes in his hand.

"I thought you stopped smoking." The words slipped out of your mouth before you could fully process what you said. You shouldn't have asked as it wasn't your business, and it was obvious as to why he would've picked the habit back up.

"I did. I just..." Mattheo sighed, shoving the item into his pocket, "I just needed some relief."

You nodded slowly, standing up, "Well, I’ll leave you to it."

"No!" Mattheo spoke quickly and loudly, making you take a step back in shock. "No, um, you were here first. I’ll go somewhere else," he spoke more softly.

"It's fine. I was just catching a glimpse of the sky before I went back home. it's late so I should get back to my dorm and sleep." You countered.

"Y/N, please." Mattheo's voice was soft and weak, "I know you hate me and want nothing to do with me. I know you've set me free from your mind and heart but please, stay with me for a little bit."

You felt your heart crack at the broken boy in front of you. Despite telling yourself that you wouldn't be around him anymore, you saw how hurt he was. He was scared and had no one to turn to.

"Okay." You sat back down, looking at him to join you. Mattheo didn't expect you to care or stay so he approached you slowly, sitting down next to you.

"How are you holding up?" Mattheo asked after moments of silence. You glanced over at him, wondering why he would ask you that.

"I'm okay. As good as one can be in this moment." you answered, looking back at the sky, "And you?"

Mattheo didn't know how to answer that. How was he? He wasn't good at all, but would you care for the truth?

"Bad." Was all Mattheo could muster up to say.

Silence overtook the both of you again before you sighed. "Are you going to get hurt?"

Again, something you shouldn't have asked because it didn't concern you. Mattheo was the past to you as you should've been to him, but your worries outweighed your reason.

"Get hurt?"

"In this war. I know you'll play a part in it. I've talked to the other guys. They're distraught." you explained yourself. Mattheo looked forward before looking back at you.

"I don't know." His voice was small and fragile. something you weren't used to when it came to Mattheo. "All I know is that I don't want to do this. I don't want to hurt people or have people hate me."

You knew that Mattheo was speaking generally but you also heard the double meaning. He didn't want you to hate him.

"I don't have much I can tell you." You spoke slowly, choosing your words carefully, "But no one will blame you. Nothing that is happening is your fault."

"You want to know something?" Mattheo asked. You nodded causing him to turn his whole body to you, "All this time, I've been beating myself up about what happened between us. Debating on telling you everything I've realized but all this happened."

"And I thought maybe this was for the best. That you didn't need me. I wasn't good for you. So, you should've left me."

You held your breath, not knowing what else to do in the moment. A mix of emotions swirled within you. Emotions you had buried and new emotions.

"Right now, you have bigger problems than us. Right now, I'm leaving you because there is no telling where you'll take me." You whispered, "But you have to survive this, Mattheo. For me, please."

Before Mattheo could respond, you leaped to your feet and left the tower. Mattheo's eyes followed you with a newfound determination.

He may have been your wasted love, but he was going to change that.

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Charlie as an underdeveloped character

One thing I was genuinely dissapointed by when watching Hazbin Hotel was that they never cared to dive into Charlie's Morality more.

I feel like a lot of people can agree that Charlie felt very flat/sidelined in a show she was supposed to be the main character of and I think that that's because they ran out of Character Moments for her. Her Backstory is pretty much just infodumped at the start so there's nothing you can really explore there (except for her relationship with her parents ig but they only really brought that up and resolved it in one episode). Alastor has the mystery behind him of what his goals really are, Angel Dust has his arc about standing up to his abuser, Vaggie has her dramatic backstory reveal thing and Sir pentious gets focus as the one real guest at the hotel and with his goal to be redeemed.

Charlie really has no conflict at all, which is weird since the whole plot is that her idea is relentlessly mocked and never succeeds until the end. But she doesn't have a personal conflict. All the issues she faces come from the ignorance of the people around her who don't support her, but never from who she is. She never has to change. They try to hint at this with her being possibly invasive and not respecting boundaries in the Angel Dust and Valentino episode. But the episode doesn't focus on her and Angel as they talk it out and she realizes how she might have to change as well (from how I remember it). It focuses on Husk and Angel's relationship instead.

I feel like the easiest route they could've taken for her character was that of a moral dilemma. Charlie believes in second chances and being able to change demons and her opposite is Adam, who doesn't think demons should be redeemed and should just be killed instead. But it's never specified if Charlie truly believes everyone deserves a second chance or if there are restrictions to that. Adam sings a song in the first episode and explaines his reasoning for why he believes demons shouldn't be saved, which is that they had their chance to be good and didn't choose it and now they can't expect another one (I guess the real reason is that he's just an asshole who doesn't care but that's because Vivzepop can't write Villains so I'll just pretend like that's his real reason).

The problem is that Adam is presented as fully in the wrong and I just don't agree with that. I'm not saying he's right with killing random demons of course but the show never takes the time to consider that sometimes people go to hell because they are actually terrible and have done inexcusable things. Like yeah, someone who had an addicition or a mental health problem while they were alive obviously doesn't deserve eternal suffering without any chance for redeemability, but we know that those aren't the only people that go to hell (in the pilot it's literally confirmed that real life criminals like Jeffrey Dahmer are also down there).

The show blatanly shows us characters like Valentino who are shown to do irredeemable things and be purely evil.

My question is just if Charlie would also look at someone like Valentino and say: "Yeah they deserve to be saved and get a second chance". She obviously thinks Valentino sucks, which we see in the Episode were she meets him.

So like, what would she have done if in the second episode someone like him stood at their door and wanted to be redeemed instead of Sir Pentious. Does she draw a line? Or would she have really heard him out? Her morality with this "everybody deserves a second chance" attitude is so underexplored even though it would have been the perfect place to develop her more. If they had confronted her with an actually tough situation, where she is presented with a truly terrible person, they could've had two interesting ways to take her character.

She could've accepted the person and with that she'd have taken her role a fully 'good' saviour for the demons. Someone who is truly without judgement, or atleast believes that there is good in everyone that just has to be brought out. Which would've also given room to think about if people like that are even inherently good, if they can 'excuse' the actions of terrible people and still want to help them. This would have made her a very extreme character in her believes, but something coherent and definitive is actually something Charlie desperately needs for her characterization.

The other way would've had her reject the person and with that she would have to face the idea that maybe Adam isn't fully wrong. In that situation she would have found herself in a similar position to the Angels in heaven, where she basically is the one deciding over what's acceptable and what isn't. This could lead to her having a moral dilemma. Is she even a good person if she's deciding what's moral and what isn't? Can she just be okay with making exceptions to her idea to protect her people? Does she even want to view EVERY demon as her family? Or does she think there are some demons that maybe deserve death?

I'm just really dissapointed that the show takes such an interesting idea and such a difficult topic and then just does nothing with it. What we view as bad and good and which people we judge harder than others will always depend on social norms and the situation. It's a topic with no real right and wrong answer because there are so many things to consider. But this moral grey conflict that is literally one of the MAIN CONFLICTS in Hazbin Hotel is so incredibly underwritten, that it's not even funny.

Instead of acknowledging the difficulty of the subject Hazbin does what it does best and takes the easy route with seemingly clear right and wrong sides. This is especially stupid, since morally grey characters are supposed to be the point of the show. Like there are these demons who have done bad things and who aren't perfect, but that doesn't make them bad people. Its about revealing that a person has layers (which the writing doesn't). This is also a big point in Helluva Boss, where characters like Blitzø or Stolas who mess up repeatedly, are supposed to be shown as still having interests, aspirations, and good things to them.

The easy route which is taken constantly in both shows however makes it so that Charlie is completely in the right and anyone who criticises her is one of the evil people who try to ruin her plan, just like Adam. Who's also such a straw man for anyone who even dares to bring any objection to Charlies ideas, because everyone who does is apparently a hypocrite who just doesn't understand her and would rather side with genocide (I wonder were Vivzepop takes her inspiration from).

Charlies writing was just really dissapointing with almost never any reflection being done on her part. She doesn't have really striking moments, discussions or ideas to her in a show she's supposed to lead. That's just an issue that comes with Vivzepop never really putting as much work into her female characters, even tough they would desperately need it.

I know that only the first season is out so far, but I highly doubt thay they'll bring up a discussion like this in s2. Especially since Adam is dead now and the Angels will probably try to work more with the demons, after Sir Pentious' redemtion and the reveal of the exterminations to them. Also the Vees, Lillith and Alastor will be more of focus from what we can assume by the ending scenes.

I just don’t like that Viv can take interesting conflicts and write them to be completely one-dimensional and boring.