#my short term memory sucks ass

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

When a customer jumps to wild conclusions about your motives when you forget to do something you always have trouble remembering to do; because your checkout routine was disrupted and/or ran very, very long; and still makes a fuss over it when you are willing to, and actually do, fix the issue, scolding you for it throughout…

Over (at the absolute highest) five dollars off on a two-hundred dollar purchase. Wow.

I mean, yeah, I fucked up; but it was an honest mistake, I felt gutted bad about it, and ultimately I corrected the error, so I’m good right?

I wish she hadn’t walked out before I could apologize formally though. I don’t like hurting people.

[nonuggetshere]

GOD I HAD AN IDEA AS I WAS FALLING ASLEEP TODAY

About FaaF naturally

A sad one, TW fir near child death and harm

Involves Xero's attempt at an assassination, or it could be literally just any guard controlled by the Radiance

PK and WL need to talk about something private, and WL looks at the tiny vessel tagging along by her wyrm's side

"Should it be here?"

"It wouldn't understand anything anyway."

"Still, it's...a little..."

He sighs lightly, "Yeah, I get where you're coming from... Vessel, come here."

He kneels down and orders them to sit by the door and wait for them while they talk, says he'll come pick them up once they're done and not to move, then the two go to talk on the balcony and close the door behind them

At some point, Xero/the guard bursts in and attacks PK in the middle of the conversation, managing to take them by surprise and so gets one good swing in before PK darts away and retaliates, pinning them down with soul blades, though he has to keep his wife from killing them on the spot - he doesn't want to be so hasty, knowing they're infected and not themself. He pulls out the sword from his chest and that's when they realise, it's covered in void...

Child harm/near death TW beyond this point

After a moment of shock White Lady, who's closest to the doors, runs out and all her husband can hear is a horrified, heartbroken scream. He feels nauseous, his stomach twisting into knots and feeling like his heart is in his throat as he runs out after her. He sees her in tears, cradling a tiny bundle soaked in void. There's- there's so much void. It covers the floor where he left their child vessel and soaks through his lady's shawl and clothes as she cradles them in her arms.

For a moment he's paralysed, before he just snaps. He flies back onto the balcony, screaming at the possessed guard that he'll kill her, he'll make her pay for this, and he slays them in his rage (something he'll regret and feel ashamed of later), still hitting and screaming at Her well after the possessed person is dead and she can't hear him anymore.

He collapses, panting, near tears, and just gets himself up and stumbles out the door and towards the two, he wants to see how bad it is for himself.

Flower survives, but just barely. They had multiple stab wounds and lost their left arm, if not for their parents immediately healing them they'd be dead. They're barely older than 5, still so very little and defenceless, PK is horrified at how could anyone hurt a baby this young and helpless (hypocrite), even if they're not alive.

They're still on bed rest because that was so much damage and their mother doesn't leave their side and their father only leaves when necessary. They still don't realise Flower's alive and they know they shouldn't be so attached but it still feels like their baby and they can't just leave them. WL spends the entire day by their side, gently stroking their hair and horns with her now permanently void stained hands and softly coos and sings to them

Of course, they quickly realise they ARE alive because no way in hell a toddler is getting this hurt and NOT crying and screaming the second they wake up <3

Which just makes this situation so much worse

[hanasnx]

your voice.

MINORS DNI 18+ NOTES: posted this on my other blog before i deleted it, re-posting here WARNINGS: terry’s old friend is an asshole | the term “friend” is used loosely he’s just someone from terry’s past | mentions of: groping, jacking off, sucking off, & backshots | “friend” speaking of you sexually to piss terry off | no explicit smut but the details and plot of this piece is smutty | locker room talk | established relationship.

“Is that your girl?” the voice on the other line interrupts TERRY McGINNIS's stupor, effectively snapping him out of gluing his eyes to your behind. Adorable, pink pajama shorts ridden up as far as they can go, supple ass hanging out in a way that invites him to stare. Not to mention encourage him to grope.

“Hm?” Terry responds thoughtlessly at first, but corrects it once his friend’s words process, “Yeah- yeah.” Expertly, he skirts around letting you know you’re being talked about. Unable to help himself, he steals another glance at you. The dimples on your lower back peeking out from your crop top, swaying your hips to an inaudible rhythm as you swipe a spread onto toast. The memory of how perfectly Terry’s thumbs slot into those dimples as a handle during backshots dissipates when his old friend speaks again.

“Sounds fucking hot. Is she? Wish she was on the mic instead of you.” All you’d done is enter his friend’s ear shot earlier, close up to the bluetooth when you’d kissed Terry’s cheek and asked if he wanted a sandwich since you were fixing one up for yourself already. Apparently, your sweet and airy voice was enough for whatever poor, desperate soul who heard it to beg for more. Terry knows firsthand the kind of affect your vocal chords have on him. He’s probably gotten far enough down your throat to fuck them when you’d sucked him off this morning. It’s just not a card he’s willing to pull to shut his friend up right now.

Terry knows a thing or two about his temper, especially aware of how people use it to their advantage if they‘ve been around him long enough. “C’mon, man, lay off. You’re just sayin’ that to get on my nerves.” he redirects as coolly as possible. It’s obvious, he’s being teased, he won’t fall for it so easily. Just in case it escalates, he paces away, pressing the bluetooth further into his ear as if paranoid you’d— somehow— hear its contents even if you are now well out of ear shot.

“Hell yeah, I wanna get on your nerves. I’m fucking jealous.” the so-called friend scoffs. “Fuck, wish she’d talk to me like that.” There’s a shift on the other end, and Terry frowns until the unmistakable and distasteful sounds of acting out self pleasure fill his ear. “No, wait,” he fakes an effeminate moan, the rapid disheveling of clothing reminding Terry of how sleeves brush the wrinkles of a shirt when a hand jacks off a dick. “go grab her- get her on the phone, I wanna rub one out real quick.”

What an asshole. Terry rolls his eyes so hard they hurt. “Thanks for reminding me why I don’t talk to you anymore.” He rips the earpiece out, with the unnerving noise of his old pal’s harrowing laughter echoing in his brain.

[chaifootsteps]

Welp, Chai, I rewatched the entire Hazbin Hotel pilot on the night of the 18th. It's been well over a year since I even watched it. Now onto my thoughts...

The Good 😊

The Animation: I know a lot of us complained about Viv's style of animation. But compared to the current HH animation style, it's a lot more pleasing in my eyes. I especially love the smear frames in the pilot (often referred to as "cursed images") as they really make the animation very dynamic.

The Voice Acting: I still absolutely adored the voice acting in the Hazbin Hotel pilot. Jill, Monica, Michael, Edward, Mick, etc. really brought their A-Game and really brought these characters to life. Frankly, I should've been way more upset when they were replaced back in December 2021.

Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow: Man, I have forgotten how much of a banger this song is. I don't know how to describe the genre/genres of this song, but I view it as a strange yet effective mixture of a piano ballad, pop rock, and speed metal. I actually headbanged pretty hard during the song, something I can't say about the new Hazbin songs.

Vaggie: Still love that little grey moth sinner with an unfortunate name. I view her as the most rational (if not the only rational) character in HH. I still enjoy the scene where she explains to Angel Dust the legend of Alastor, very reminiscent of a Hey Arnold urban legend scene.

The One Scene between Angel Dust and Alastor: I don't know why, but the scene where Angel Dust offers a dick sucking to Alastor and then Alastor bluntly rejected him still makes me chuckle to this day. That's probably the only sex related joke I laughed at in my recent rewatch.

The Bad 😡

Seeing Red: This is a complaint nearly all of us had with the pilot: Too... much... RED! I don't know why didn't bother me years ago, yet it bothers me now. Granted, compared to the current series, the pilot has a little more variety of colors, even though it's still red dominated.

The Humor: Unfortunately, aside from the Angel/Alastor exchange, a lot of the jokes in HH fell flat with me during my recent rewatch. It just makes me wonder how I thought HH was funny back then. Maybe Viv's rose-tinted fog really clouded my judgement.

Vaggie's Treatment: One thing I still dislike about the pilot, even back when I was a fan, was how Vaggie was treated. Despite being the most/only rational character, Vaggie was treated quite poorly. From being ignored by Charlie, to being insulted by Angel, to being slapped in the ass by Alastor. *sigh* Why do cartoons have to torture characters with a hint of rationality?!

Too Many Characters, Not Enough Time: Not sure if this is nitpicky or not, but I feel the pilot "introduced" far too many characters in a 30-minute video. Yeah, I put quotes around "introduced" as many of them got only a few seconds of screen-time or were only there in portraits. Even "main" characters like Husk and Niffty got the short end of the stick in terms of screen-time. It also took me long to realize that Viv really favors her male characters over her female ones. Female led show, my ass!

The Ugly 🤢

The Wasted Potential: This is the only ugly thing, but the wasted potential of HH is so ugly that the Ugly Barnacle would die. Under Viv's rose-tinted fog, I foolishly grew emotionally attached and had high hopes for this show. Unfortunately, thanks to Vivienne Medrano's micro zepto-management, she pissed all the great potential away. *sigh* It could've been great... 😔

Well, that was a load-off. Now I feel like I've made some closure. 😇

-Metallica Anon 🤘

Thank you for reminding me just how Gerald Urban Tale-esque Vaggie's Alastor exposition was...between that and the constant little sound effects, the whole thing felt like a Nicktoon, and I know that's part of what I loved about it.

This was a bittersweet walk down memory lane just reading it, but I'm glad you got your closure, Metallica Anon. It really could have been so great.

[thekidsralright]

The Last Night

pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x female!reader

summary: it’s Bradley’s last night with you before deployment. He wants to make some memories before he goes…

warnings: this is 18+ folks, swearing, oral (f! receiving), piv sex, hard/rough sex, cum eating, mention of choking, bruises, biting, fluff and sweet moments can be found at the end after the filth

author note: omg my first attempt at writing smut ahhhhhh! It’s pretty short and sweet but tbh I just needed to bite the bullet and write something quick otherwise I never will. Hope it’s not too shabby, I mean I read enough smut to last a lifetime so it should be bearable at least lol

hope you enjoy!

He’s leaving tomorrow.

That’s all you can think about as Rooster kisses down your neck; leaving wet, red marks in his wake. You should be enjoying this, cherishing the time you have left before his deployment. But the only thought that keeps circling back around, haunting every touch, every glance, every kiss: he’s leaving tomorrow.

Rooster knows this is how you’ve been feeling for a while, which is why he doesn’t question why you grip his hand a little tighter sometimes, or start staring at nothing for a moment; lost in your own head with all the what if’s. He knows you’re not taking this well. To be honest, you both expected this reaction; it’s his first long-term deployment since you started dating. 3 months. What went in the blink of an eye when you first got together will now stretch itself into what will feel like years.

Neither of you are happy about it one bit. But the alternative to being apart is asking the man you love to give up his first ever love: flying. You could never do that to him, would never dream of it. Which is why you’re happy to shoulder the pain that comes with being a fighter pilot’s girl. Being Rooster’s anything is better than being nothing to him. Every touch reminds you of that.

“Come on hunny, play with me”. He’s still sucking on the skin of your neck, hands grabbing greedily at your back, your waist, your ass. He’s trying to distract you from your own head. And you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t starting to work. Slightly.

“I’m gonna miss you so bad, you have no idea” he whispers as his kisses start trailing over your shoulders, down to your chest.

Your hands go to the base of his neck, running your fingers up into his hair. Rooster hums in approval, happy you’re finally beginning to touch him as well. Ok, maybe his seduction tactics do work after all. You pull his head back up, pressing your bodies even closer than before; staring at one another.

“Just promise you’ll come back to me, Bradley. I can’t lose this…you”. You both pause, the movements of his mouth and hands halted. For a second, you wonder if he even heard you; he never gave a response. He just kisses you. Hard. He’s kissing you like he has never tasted anything so good and sweet and addicting in his life. Your breathing becomes heavy as he backs you up into the kitchen counter.

Moving his hands to the backs of your thighs, his voice rough, guttural, he tells you: “jump”. As you did, he helps you up, your legs immediately parting for him to move into. You need his body to be up against yours. You need to get your fix before it’s too late, before you only have your hand and imagination to use. You wrap your legs around him as he pulls you forward so that your ass is resting just on the edge.

He grinds and presses himself onto you. Even with jeans on, you can feel how hard he is and the pressure against your pussy makes you gasp. “You feel that baby? Every morning I wake up and every night I go to bed, I’m gonna be this fucking hard thinking of you…wishing you were there, that sweet mouth and pussy available for me to fuck and fill as much as I want.” His words make you shiver all over, your hands moving desperately over his body.

He reaches in between you both and grips your pussy, massaging you through your underwear. “And I know you’ll to be touching yourself too, riding your fingers until you scream out, wishing it was my cock inside you instead.” You moan at that, unable to stop yourself from lifting yourself onto his hand, providing more pressure.

“Please baby, I need this. We both do. Stop with the games and just…” you can’t finish the sentence before Bradley’s hands are already pulling your underwear to one side and rubbing his fingers up your centre. You cry out, gripping his shoulders tightly as he kneels before you.

“I want to see you come undone sweetheart. I need some memories to take with me”. As he puts his mouth onto your clit, sucking in as his tongue plays with you, you’re more than happy to oblige him. His hands grip your thighs tight, most likely leaving bruises in their wake but you couldn’t care less when his head is between your legs, making you feel so fucking good. Bradley knows you like to see marks on yourself after you fuck, and he won’t admit it but he loves to see them too. So, when he grips too tight or bites too hard, you both know it just gets you off even more.

“I need you in me. Please just fuck me already” you whine as his hands move to your tits, squeezing your nipples so hard you almost cry out. Rooster looks up from your pussy long enough to give you that signature smirk that drew you to him when you first met, before saying “gotta say the magic words baby…who do you want to fuck you?”

You let out a soft whine as his tongue continues its assault on your clit. He slaps your tits to get your attention back, as if it had gone anywhere else. “I want you to fuck me, Lieutenant Bradshaw”. Those were the words that got Bradley doing just about anything you wanted. Using his navy title was like playing the winning hand in a game of poker; you know it will come out on top every time.

Rooster gets up from the floor, hastily unbuckling his belt. You loved how eager he always was to go down on you and you regularly enjoyed returning the favour, but tonight was different. It felt like you didn’t have enough time for all of that, like he was being taken away from you right this second. You needed his cock inside you, filling you up. You craved the feeling of his cum dripping out of you, claiming you as his and leaving his mark in you before he goes.

Jeans discarded on the floor, Bradley pumps his cock once, twice in his hand and then up and down your now dripping pussy. It feels good, but you’re not in the mood for games. “You better fuck me right now Lieutenant, or I swear to god…” You didn’t get to finish before Rooster had silenced you with his hand around your throat and his cock pushed into you, right up to the hilt. You cry out, pain and pleasure mixing together as he’s just that big you sometimes forget how stretched you can feel when he’s fucking you hard.

“You’ll swear to who?... Hmm?...You’ll do nothing but fucking scream, do you hear me? You’ll be fucked senseless by the time I’m through with you and your tight, little cunt”. You love it when Bradley talks like this, so territorial and animalistic over you. Your moans of pleasure only spur him on to slam his cock into you harder, deeper. His balls smacking your skin as he rams into you over and over and over…

“Fuck, Bra- Oh my god, FUCK!” You can’t form any coherent words and his pace doesn’t slow down. Soon enough, sweat glistens off both of you and you can feel yourself getting close. He gathers your hair to the top of your head with one hand as the other grips your tit, using them to keep you in place.

“Wanna see that pretty face when you cum for me…wanna look at you when I cum inside your pussy baby”. He moves his hand back down from your tits to your clit, rubbing furiously once again. You reach your peak as your body racks and thrashes, screaming his name repeatedly, as if reciting a prayer. Rooster’s not far behind you as he fills you up, cock spasming in you as he grunts and moans loudly.

Both coming down from your highs, you stay in this position for a minute; soaking in the sight of each other whilst in this state. Bradley pulls out of you, watching the cum drip down, just like he wanted to see. He pushes his fingers in your tender pussy and you whimper as he does, pushing as much as he can back inside. Lifting them to your lips, you part yours wide enough for him, sucking his fingers clean and releasing them with a soft pop.

After staring at you for a moment, he asks with a furrowed brow “Was I too rough?” He does this every time and every answer you give him is the same. “No baby, I enjoyed it.” Bradley knew you did, he just needed assuring that he wasn’t pushing your body too far. Despite you both liking it rough, he cherished you and your body as if you were a god. He would never do anything you wouldn’t like, wouldn’t get off from. That’s what was so great about him: he always put you first.

“Come on, let’s get cleaned up. I wanna cuddle in bed and watch a sad movie” he says, helping you off the counter. And just like that, your sweet lil’ Rooster was back. You give a soft chuckle as you both make your way to the shower, Bradley’s arms wrapped around you, not quite ready to let go of one another just yet.

***

When you wake up, it’s still well before sunrise and it puts a small smile on your face to know that Rooster is still yours for a little longer. You turn over and see that he’s already awake, stroking your arm lightly. “Sorry if I woke you” he mumbles quietly into the still dark room. You take his hand and weave your fingers through his, brushing your lips over each one softly. “Don’t be sorry, I need all the time I can get with you”. You smile as you say this, trying to keep the mood light but failing terribly. Those thoughts you were having last night have returned in full force and the last thing you want to do is think about leaving this bed, this room, and letting Rooster go.

He notices your eyes welling and pulls your body into his, cuddling you to him. “Shh…shh baby it’s ok” he tries to reassure you, despite his throat getting clogged up at his own, similar thoughts. You both lay there like that for a while, afraid to loosen your grip on each other, content to stay like this forever. Bradley pulls away just enough that you’re face to face, staring into one another’s eyes.

“As mind-blowingly epic as last night was, and trust me I won’t be forgetting it any time soon…I’m gonna miss this the most. Holding you. Waking up with you next to me and knowing whatever I gotta do, it’s fine because I got my girl with me…you’re…” Bradley pauses, eyes glassy with unshed tears as he cups the side of your face “you’re my best friend”.

You don’t know what to say, maybe because nothing has to be said. So, you pull him back to you and stay intertwined until the sun rises and the alarm clock rings. For a while, neither of you move to turn it off. You just enjoy this small slice of peace that is each other, experiencing the end of one of the many last nights you will spend together.

[ayeforscotland]

ngl being on twitter and seeing your wholeass name just out there raw and exposed was like taking a flashbang directly to the eyeballs, i'm glad my short-term memory sucks ass bc it means i can forget it and continue calling you Aye in blissful ignorance

Aye, I prefer folk on hear calling me ‘Aye’ anyway - I’m too used to it now, it’s all your faults.

[eviltiddyproductions]

on most days of my life I absolutely hate and will complain to anyone who listens about dramas releasing weekly (because I am an impatient monster) except the day my show releases!

it’s my demon fridays besties !!!

love the fact that it’s a Friday Saturday release schedule so that I can cry a bit more for my Sunday sadness moments

the intro cut from yoojung’s eye to song kang is so beautiful actually

LMAOOO I forgot how during the weekly release pattern you sometimes lose the rhythm of the show for a second because Do Dohee going with the tv tropes classic ‘everyone I love is dead’ 😔😞😭 made me just bust out laughing 😭

and you’ll die because of me too! 😔

‘i don’t care’ 👿🤷‍♂️

two gorgeous people kissing

the droplets suspended in the air looks so beautiful

aww they look adorable! wet little puppies 😭

medical undressing but with actual dressing time 🩹

oh they’re making out again, that’s actually pretty realist for kdrama standards 😂

most of them go designated kiss over, back to talking; here they’re actually making out again, like normal people do

song kang has a heart warming smile

lmfaoooo we went from fun time to eerily creepy clock room

we’re back in their room and i adore them !!!

my man went from ‘humans suck! losers!!! boooo 🍅🍅🍅 to they’re not that bad actually, love is kinda cool and i sorta get them and while we’re at it can i get a couples set dinner with my wife?!’

and let me just couple bike with my wife as well!

i will always be a sucker for anyone who’s down for cheesy things! #mypeople

wait woah my sister was going that in heels !!!

this fuckass quality…. giphy you will crumble !!!

they’re actually truly having the world’s most loveliest date. just having fun and taking walks and admiring the breeze !

same sister, if I saw someone that beautiful irl I’d also thank them 😭 [context : guwon says thankyou to the barista for his couple coffee set and she’s like no thank you 😻]

him saying do dohee always takes me out

they’re so cute y’all, they’re slow dancing

i’d be kinda surprised if there’s no criminal from the eldest son’s family like they rank a little higher on the possible murderer scale for me than everyone else. seems misleading rn because all shows tend to do this but y’all need to be in checked 😭

my short term memory is memorying because I was wondering why he was following her into her office and then remembered he’s her bodyguard 💀

I mean she didn’t have to give up everything but if it makes her happy!

two gorgeous people in one frame!

y’all are not subtle at allll with the wrist thing at all 😭 how many times has the seokhoon seen it already?

I adore the wolf gang lmaooo

lmaoooo they’re so dramatic, I love them!

the beautiful theatre dancer has a point and doesn’t have a point at the same time 😭 jin gayeong you’re beautiful, go live your life !!!

my sister said one shot while all she poured miss shin was foam 😭

miss shin I <3 u

doo hee the nut job 💀

lmaooo did he rush to her because he was happy to be called husband lmao, my man looks shook seeing them drunk 😂

he said my wife is embarrassing let me take her home and then she called him a blinding sun and he just glowed (he’s just like me fr)

all of the happiness and love he was uncomfortably bottling up inside in denial is coming out right now and I love it.

she could ask him for a toothbrush and he’d give her a loving smile and do it

cuties

poor boggy I omg 😭

your honour, this demon is whipped !!! 😭💞

the bag on his neck lol

it has taken me over an hour atp to finish this episode lmao maybe I could’ve written this later

miss shin is a mood

my wolf gang is back

the dad’s just laughing after choking someone ? 😭 this family…

it’s always fun to watch the murderers be hunted 🤷‍♂️

oh he killed his mom too, he was my first guess but the son was a strong case too

this cartoon villain ass laugh

my married lovebirds have a pretty strong knit game like his cardigan rn and hers during the sprinkler kiss scene

slay you found the bug

the wife seems normalish compared to her son and husband

damn did they vanish because of the card thing

woah

him knocking at the cardboard door 😭

did they fumble the continuity or something changed when they were walking at the bar because our homeless mystery queen’s teeth are back to normal rn

is she god

need that snapping finger power so bad like I also want a galaxy in my room thankyou

butterflies just follow song kang in tv shows

the second male lead kinda needs to let it go, bae it’s not that serious

why would the theatre girlie just tell that to him flat out 😭

honeymoon period over

[peyton-warren]

Blinded by the Fog Part 4

Characters: Captain Syverson and Reader. Mention of Jake Jensen and Cougar Pairings: Jake Jensen x Reader Word count: 3061 Type: angst and fluff Warning: 18+. Minors DNI. Loss of spouse and found family. drinking, swearing. Therapy/ emotional baggage type language. Vague mention of shitty childhood for reader.

Summary: Aaran Syverson effortlessly just became a regular part of your life. AKA Sy completely becomes reader's emotional support bear.

Author's Note: Therapeutic terms, emotional baggage, reluctance to ask for help and hesitancy to accept it in this chapter are straight out of my own mental health journey. Write what you know, right? Thank you to @adulting-sucks for her continued support, especially when I want to chuck this whole thing in the trash and never look at it again.

Ask Box: Open

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Part 3

Aaran Syverson effortlessly just became a regular part of your life, same as Jolene and Madre and Aubrey. He checked in on you each day over the next few weeks, always by text and usually also in person most days.  You slid easily into a friendship with him, enjoying his company. And you didn’t find yourself unexpectedly at the bottom of a bottle again.  Although you both skirted the issue of why you drank so heavily that day, Sy managed to keep you held together.  

You even allowed him to help care for you, though some days you were more reluctant than others. As if he read your mind about your struggle with the overwhelming sense of dread at the thought of a lonely evening meal, you had dinner together at least once every couple days, depending on work schedules.   Some days you cooked, some days he either brought food he then cooked in your kitchen or take-out, and more than once you shared food from Cougar’s mom after one of you checked in on her. 

It had been mostly clear sailing for about a month after meeting Sy until you hit a rough patch at the end of a hard week of work. Things went sideways on a huge project, and you were left to pick up the pieces.  You managed to keep your shit together until Friday, trying hard to neither crack at work nor in front of your new best friend. To make it worse, your brain repeatedly reminded you that Jake would have known something was wrong and how best to help you without you even needing to ask.  This stirred up a huge uncomfortable knot of dread in your belly at the thought of going to your empty home.  Your brain and heart swirled with that and so many other thoughts and memories of Your Forever.  

The sun was setting on Friday as you sat in the parking lot at work with your head resting on the steering wheel of your car long after everyone else left for the day, your head pounding and your heart racing with the anxiety of going home to your empty house, having to face another night without Jake.  The unexpected ring of your cell startled you, making you jump, and gasp, hand landing on your chest to keep your heart in your rib cage.  You tried to catch your breath as the phone silenced only to have it ring again.  You grabbed for your bag, pulling the piece of technology out to see Sy’s name on the screen.   

Drawing in a calming breath, you answered.  "Hey,” your voice was tiny, barely keeping tears at bay.  

“Hey, you ok?" Sy sounded immediately concerned.  “Where are you?"  

You gulped back a soft sob.  "At work." You kept it short and sweet, leaving out all the other details.  

"Oh,”  There was a beat of silence. “They need you this late on a Friday night?" 

It was your turn to be quiet.  Then you remembered. 

“Oh shit!” you gasped, your hand cupping your leaking eyes. “We were supposed to….fuck are you at my house?” 

“Maybe,” he confessed.

Tears flowed quicker as you realized you were a horrible person. Your self involved thoughts kept you from keeping your plans of pizza and a dumb ass movie.  Sy didn’t deserve that from you, no one deserved that from you. “I’m sorry,” you barely squeaked out.  “So sor-"

“Oh hey hey hey, sweets," Sy shushed you. “I get work needing you."

You sobbed louder into the phone. “No," you mutter, unable to catch your breath.  “No. I’m sorry.  I’m just sitting here.  I can’t… I just can’t go home…not.."

“Baby, it’s ok.” You heard the unmistakable sound of his truck door closing in the background.  “Really,” he continued as the engine rumbled to life.  “Stay there and I’ll come get you, and we will figure out everything after that.”

Your head shook even though Sy could not see you.  “No no,” you started to protest.  

“Whut??” Sy yelled into the phone.  “I can’t hear you.”  He made static noises with his mouth.  “I’ll be there soon.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as the connection went dead.  Tossing your phone into the passenger seat, you flipped down the sun visor and opened the vanity mirror, looking to see how bad you looked after crying for nearly 2 hours. As you patted your cheeks with a spare napkin, you tried to make the red around your eyes disappear.  You suddenly felt guilty for caring what you looked like before Sy got to you.  You tried to reason with yourself that you would be as concerned if Madre or Jolene were coming to get you.  You didn’t want to look like a mess in front of anyone.

A tiny voice in the back of your mind reminded you that Sy was an attractive man.  You told that voice to fuck off, that attractive men had women friends.  You needed a friend, and Sy wanted to help.  You and Sy were friends.  You were allowed to be friends with a man.  You were allowed to develop a new friendship with someone your deceased husband never knew.  There was zero wrong with it.  The end.

Thy doth protest too much, the voice insisted. 

The rumble of Sy’s truck silenced your inner debate for the moment.  Glancing quickly at the giant behemoth entering the parking lot, you gave yourself one more once over in the mirror before flipping the sunshade back into place just in time as he pulled up next to you despite having the whole lot to park.  You gave him a small smile as you rolled your window down, figuring he was going to do the same.  Instead he turned off the truck and got out, taking one long legged stride over to you.  You ignored your belly flip flop as he set his forearm on the roof of your car and leaned down, instead blaming it on the unmistakable scent emanating from him-pizza.  

“You save me at least one slice?” you asked, teasingly, hoping to distract him from your panic attack and red tinged cheeks at the inner debate that happened moments earlier.  

Sy smirked.  “Only one.”   He reached for the handle of your door.  “C’mon, let’s go to my house, and we can eat pizza and watch a movie there as well as we can at yours,” he suggested, opening it.  You had never been to his place in the time you had spent together, him always coming to your home.  And you had to admit you were curious what it looked like.  

You rolled the windows up in your car, and grabbed your bag and phone, stepping out.  Sy shut the door as soon as you were clear and you hit the lock on your key fob.  With a contagious smile, Sy stepped towards you, his arms open, looking to swallow you into his embrace. The panic suddenly swirled back through your veins with a vengeance.  “Don’t.” Your hand wedged between your bodies, heart rate spiking, your breathing shallow.  You didn’t miss the look of hurt that flashed across Sy’s eyes at your denial as he looked from your hand to your face.  “I’m sorry,” you tried, your voice suddenly so weary. “I just… my shit is barely contained. If you touch me, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop crying.” You take a deep breath as you see understanding replace pain, your stance breaks, your body relaxing, your hand dropping.  “And then the world will flood and it’ll be all your fault.”

“Seeings as my name isn’t Noah and all,” he teased you, redirecting his body to shepherd you around the truck. Opening the passenger door, he offered you a hand up into the truck that was bigger than all the vehicles you ever owned all rolled into one.  

The ride to Sy’s home was mostly filled with comfortable silence.  You could tell he wanted to ask what happened but he luckily did not.  You were very thankful he was as he was, not pushing you to talk about whatever was going on in your head .  You leaned on the window, allowing the cool of the glass to soothe you some.  Your vision softened and you really didn’t pay attention to where you were going as you forced yourself to settle into the reassurance of Sy’s presence.  He had you.  

The pitter patter of rain against the windshield drew your mind back to the present.  It was about then the truck pulled into what you guessed was a driveway, and you realized you had no idea where you were, even though it didn't seem like you had been in the truck all that long. Through the smattering of rain on the window, you were greeted by the cutest classic 1900s farmhouse.  

“Oh my god,” you gasped at the home.  You weren’t sure what you were expecting Sy to live in but now that you were here you had no doubt this was perfectly him. Clapboard siding painted white, simple porch with black wooden columns, black gingerbread accents, and black rocking chairs adorning it.  With a beautiful lawn filled with trees and a smattering of well placed flowers and plants, it seemed like it was a picture ripped out of a textbook of American historical architecture.     

“You like it?” he asked, not hiding his pleasure in your delight.  

Forgetting about the rain, you opened the door to the truck to get a closer look only to be halted by the droplets hitting your face. “Like it?  I love it!” you gushed, pulling the door shut, glancing at the man who seemed pleased as punch at your approval.  “This is amazing!”

“You should have seen it when I bought it,” he joked. “Absolute train wreck, unlivable. Uninhabitable.”

“You did all this?” you asked.

Giving you a half smile that allowed a hint of dimple to appear at the edge of his beard, Sy seemed to dip his head in brief shyness, or at least humbleness.  “Yeah.  When I’m not deployed.  It's like my form of therapy,” he admitted.  “Making something old look new again.  I like working with my hands.  I did all of it but the electrical, that I called a professional in to do.”

“Aaran, this is amazing.”  All of your troubles of the past week disappeared from your shoulders as the two of you got out of the truck and ran for the front porch, well ran as fast as your work shoes would allow you.  Sy held the pizza above your head trying to keep as much of the rain off of you as possible.  

Once safely inside, your amazement and awe continued.  The interior was a mix of historic and modern, the perfect mix if you were honest.  Toeing off his boots, Sy hung his keys by the door, and carried the pizza past you as you kicked off your shoes to place them next to his wet boots on a mat by the door.  “Make yourself at home,” he announced as he wandered into the next room.  

You glanced at the pictures on the wall, mostly family you assumed by the similar features of the folks you were looking at. You were staring at a photo of Sy and Cougar’s basic training class trying to pick the two men out of the crowd when Aaran reappeared next to you.  “Any luck?” he laughed beside you, knowing what you were doing.  

“No!” you gasped over exasperatedly. Admittedly it has been over 10 years and a lifetime ago.  “Help me?” you ask, eyes never leaving the photo.  

Sy’s finger quickly picked out Cougar, and you cursed yourself for not seeing the resemblance.  “Maybe it's cuz he’s missing his hat,” you surmised out loud, making you both laugh softly.  The laughter caught in your throat the following second as you realized your friend was gone, the levity getting wrapped up in the lump of guilt that suddenly appeared in your throat at the realization that you were having a pleasant moment when you lost your husband and your family so so so recently.  

“They’d want us to be ok, they’d laugh with us,” Sy sagely told you with a soft voice, his fingers brushing against your wrist.  “Hell they are laughing with us if you believe in heaven.”

You know his words were meant to soothe you, you know he had all the best intentions, but his sentiment instead made the tears reappear in your eyes, that knot of pain filling your stomach again.  “Oh, baby,” he said softly, his hands wrapping around your upper arms, pulling you into his embrace.  “I am sorry,” he muttered into the top of your head as you sobbed into his chest.  “I am so sorry for your pain.  I wish I could take it from you.”  

The two of you stood like that for what seemed like an eternity until your replenished tears dried up.  With an unladylike hiccup, you stepped back, wiping at your eyes.  “God, I am sorry, Aaran,” you started, looking at yet another wet spot you had left on his chest.  

“For what?” he asked.  “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.”  You looked up at him, and saw the wet lashes framing his eyes.  

“Yes I do!” you insisted, pulling back further from him.  “My silliness is making you sad.”  You try to move away from him suddenly feeling very suffocating and embarrassed by your lack of decorum, ducking your head to hide further.  

His face came into your peripheral view.  “Hey,” Sy reached out and cupped the back of your arms, keeping you in place.  “Look at me,” he quietly commanded when you refused to meet his eyes.  When you did so, you saw his eyes swirl with emotion, several different ones spinning by in the sea of his beautiful irises.  Irises that suddenly reminded you some of your husband, but yet different all the same.  

Aaran gave you a small smile.  “I lost someone I loved in that crash, remember?”  Tears filled your vision, and you saw the same eddying in his eyes.  “And your emotions are not silly,” he carefully insisted. “Never apologize for having emotions, especially around me. Never temper your emotions to make someone else more comfortable.”

You almost winced as he hit on a shockingly exposed nerve.  “You sound like a shrink,” you teased, sarcasm your automatic response to vulnerability.  All you had ever done in your life was push your emotions to the side, help others with theirs, but never address your own.  You were never taught to properly express them and literally no one had ever given you permission to feel them either.  Jake never forced you to hide them, but you realized now you never truly allowed yourself to be completely honest and open with him about them, the trauma of your own upbringing keeping you from showing any emotion at all, simply shoveling it deeper inside, hiding it from the world like a horrible dark secret

“I've seen enough of them over the years I should,” Sy joked, wiping the back of his hand over his eyes.  “Here,” he abruptly changed the topic, holding out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. You glanced up at his face before accepting the soft clothing.  “Thought you’d prefer to get out of your stuffy work stuff and be comfortable.”

With a nod, you tucked the clothes under an arm and reached for your bag.  “Bathroom?” 

Sy pointed you in the right direction. “You care what movie we watch?”

“Something mindless,” you said over your shoulder as you head down the hallway.   

You reemerged from the bathroom about ten minutes later, dressed in your borrowed clothes, face cleaned of all traces of make up and tears.   Hanging your clothes and bag on a coat hook, you meandered into the living room.  Sy smiled softly at you from the couch, his eyes taking you in from head to toe.  The clothes were too big for you, you were lucky the sweats had elastic in the ankles so you didn’t trip over them, and the shirt, it hung well past your hips.  

“Feel better,” he asked as you sat on the end opposite him.  He held out an open beer to you.  Taking it, you nodded.  “A little bit,” you admitted before taking a sip.  “So, what are we watching?” 

Grabbing a remote from beside the pizza box, Sy grinned.  “Figured I’d go with a classic.  Big Trouble in Little China.”   

“I haven’t seen that in ages,” you admitted, grabbing for a napkin and a slice of pizza as he pressed play.  You had to admit it was a good choice.  You were both able to relax into a comfortable silence as you ate.  Every once in a while Sy muttered along with one of Jack Burton’s lines of wisdom- “Yes sir, the check is in the mail” - making you snort softly, reminding you a bit of Jake and his own movie quoting habit.  Soon you found yourself with a full belly, a relaxed mind and curling into the arm of the couch, your cold toes tucked under the edge of Sy’s thigh, his hand on your ankle, a blanket thrown over your always cold legs. It wasn’t long after Jack Burton (and Sy) announced that “If we aren’t back by dawn, call the President” that your eyes drifted shut. The week finally caught up with you, and you were quick to drop into a deep sleep, something you hadn’t been able to do since Jake left on the mission all those months ago. 

You slept through the rest of the movie, hardly stirring a little.  You missed Sy turning off the video when it finished.  You also didn’t register him picking you up, carrying you down the hall and through the darkened doorway of a bedroom.  You didn’t realize you had curled your fingers into his shirt when he tried to stand after putting you on the comfortable bed, nor did you notice your soft mutters of “Ni-night, Jakey” and “I love you.”  

But Sy didn’t miss any of it as his heart broke just a little more for you as you happily hummed at his whisper of a kiss your temple to distract you as he gently removed your fingers from his shirt before pulling a warm blanket over you.  

“Ni-night, baby.” 

Part 5

General Tag List: littleone65

HC Tag LIst: @m07belzenenbelzen @used-to-be-bourbonwithice

BBTF Tag List: Mis-lil-red

[cinamun]

Hi! I've been wanting to make my own sim story (currently in the stages of fighting my insecurities of inadequacy) but I wanted to know what's your process between writing and talking pictures? Like, do you find poses to fit the scene you've written, or write around poses you've found? I have this image in my head of how things should look, but I can't find the poses for them and it has become very frustrating.

OMG THATS SO FRUSTRATING!!! Sorry nonny, I had to react to that last sentence first because maaaaaannnnn lol

Secondly, I absolutely want you to make your own sim story, we're a whole subculture and we're kinda dope. Plus who doesn't love a good book? But instead of a book, its 10+ pictures and a transcript from a game we all love?

My process changes depending upon what I'm going for but here's the gist of it:

Before I even open up the game (or while its loading) I'm thinking about what the scene is gonna be. Then I start googling poses. Mind you, I have a LOT of poses already so I do this moreso to see if I already have something. Will the scene require hugging, physical touch, arguing, playing a sport, etc. Then I start downloading. Now, if google turns up nothing, I use what I already have and make it work. I typically have to google if I'm doing something out of the ordinary, like that football game. As a storyteller, you'll want lots of conversation, emotion, couple and single poses. Of ALL varieties (like couple walking, single texting poses, stuff like that), you can never have too many of those. Model poses and stuff like that I rarely use (except for prom lol).

Then, I go in game and set up scenes, go into CAS and change outfits for the occasion and start thinking about dialogue. For me, the dialogue happens in Photoshop. I have a general idea of what will be said, but it isn't fleshed out until I'm looking at the screens in photoshop (when I'm doing this, I'm noticing facial expressions, body language, the mood, the lighting, etc). I don't have anything scripted, I just have the idea in my head, although I've definitely taken notes because I'll think of something I want to be said and don't want to lose it (my short term memory sucks ass).

If you get stuck on the poses that don't fit, definitely google, its helped me more than I can imagine, sometimes google images will lead me to pinterest which will have poses that don't show up in the google search. Don't let that frustrate you too much, because when all else failed, I've had two OCs just start a conversation, watch real close and if I'm quick enough with the pause button, I can get a great shot:

Above pic Indya was not posed but Darren was. I sent her to the bedroom and she walked past looking at him like this LMFAO swear! So I hit the pause button and the dialogue I was thinking of lined up perfectly.

If anything, this is a practice and I'm so glad you asked because for as long as I've been writing sims stories, I still get stuck, I still can't find what I need and only recently actually asked a friend if they did commissions because I really REALLY wanted a certain scene!! Ugh! And with the level of adulting I have to do, I honestly don't have time to learn poses so I'm so so thankful for those that know how and share them. I get how frustrating it is because the last thing you want to do is change a mood or a scene because you can't find the right pose.

This was long as hell but I hope it helps in some way! Reach out any time for tips, tricks and whatever the hell else! I love y'all and want to read your stories!

[wyldblunt]

For your whispers characters: best at going undercover, and who gets the most in character when under cover.

@commanderfloppy

YEYEASSSSS

donner - he's a natural. he's good at blending in, mirroring, and putting people at ease, has a quick wit and can always think on his feet, and only merrit and glyndwr are better than him at actual stealth (either magical or physical). the only problem is he gets cocky, and ends up getting distracted/fucking around/taking unnecessary risks pretty frequently. and he DOES love getting in character, it's fun for him.

merrit - okay i KNOWWWW i spend a lot of time making fun of him for how bad his undercover assignment in astorea went but in his defense he fell in love. if he is not literally in love with one of the people he's supposed to be undercover around he's actually really effective. better at going totally unnoticed than blending in, but takes none of the dumb risks that donner does, and is usually wayyyy better at actually staying focused on the mission than anyone else in the squad. merrit gets an extra paragraph here re: getting in character, tho... because in path of fire, HE'S the one who does the whole "pretending to be archon iberu" thing, and he. uh. gets way, WAY too into it.... because 1. he's high off the excitement of glyndwr trusting him with an operation this elaborate and important, and 2. after years of surviving under nightmare court office politics, all this bullshit passive aggressive "per my last email" shit is stuff he's INTIMATELY familiar with, and he gets a little too stoked about FINALLY being able to do it to other people. he was practically trembling with glee when he got to whip out that "your name WILL come up" shit, because he's been on the receiving end of that kind of evil corporate intimidation a billion times. and now it's HIS TURN. NOW IT'S MERRIT'S TURN TO THREATEN YOU AT WORK AS A WEIRD POWER PLAY. HOW DO *YOU* LIKE IT, HUH? I'M THE NIGHTMARE COUNTESS NOW! ME! ME!!!!!!! ...anyway, it leads to this interaction:

3. damage - honestly really good, especially at getting people to like her (and therefore getting away with shit or talking her way out of a corner), and she takes it more seriously than you would expect -- much like donner, she's disrespectful and insubordinate when she's off the clock, but once it's go time she really focuses in. the problem is her short term memory sucks ass, so especially in extended undercover missions where you have to keep track of a cover story/stay consistent in a bunch of interconnected lies, she's really likely to accidentally blow her cover by saying the wrong thing. will get into character if the role is fun, but if it's something boring she has a hard time keeping it up. 4. daimhin - they try REALLY HARD but it just doesn't come naturally to them. they overthink things, get nervous, and freak out. dav's real strength is in more straightforward field missions where they can flex some heavy arcana, not in anything that involves social skills -- at most, they're good for covering damage's aforementioned slipups by hitting everyone in the room with a quick rewind. but in general.... when it comes to undercover missions, daimhin is not invited. also, TERRIBLE at getting in character. 5. glyndwr - surprise! he sucks!!!! like merrit, his strengths lie in pure infiltration (not being noticed at all) vs actual undercover work (convincing people you're someone you're not), but merrit at least CAN do the latter. glyn is no good at it, he already hates performing any kind of social posturing at all -- and now that he's one of The Commanders, the idea of him going undercover without heavy disguises/mesmering is pretty bleak to begin with. he just can't inhabit the role of anyone else... he's Glyndwr, and you are going to end up able to tell.

[theoriginalnikegirl]

In light of a recent conversation and the fact im rewatching once upon a time, im revisiting my opinion re: hating Elfangor thinking especially of the last two interactions Tobias has interacting with the idea of Elfangor in the series.

To lay it out, Tobias has a total of three interactions with Elfangor in the series: meeting him in book 1, having his will read in 23, and a hallucination in 43. I've tended to take to the hallucination as real-ish, real-like, since Tobias has so few interactions with his father and I've long hated the implications of that interaction. Duringst the recent conversation however, I argued myself into thinking it was wholly Tobias' subconscious. Basically what happens in that interaction (why I hate it) is it boils down to a hallucination of Elfangor telling Tobias to suck it up. Tobias has just been tortured for a hundred pages, and here is an image of his absent father saying: "yeah too bad, now suck it up. Get over it. You shouldn't feel as hurt as you do and you shouldn't go and make it anyone else's problem". It's dressed up in prettier language but that's the sentiment. Now I, as the reader, don't really know Elfangor that well. I don't know if he would say that to Tobias. I do know Tobias though and I know that Tobias would absolutely say that to himself

I'm also revisiting the reading of the will in 23 which I have always appreciated. I appreciated that in that will Elfangor said: I wanted to love you. Not that he did, but that he wanted to. I have long had a bit of stick up my ass thinking it's too little to say he wished he hadn't abandoned Tobias' because the fact of the matter is Tobias was abandoned whether Elfangor wanted to or not, but I am also rewatching once upon a time.

For those not in the know, once upon a time is a tv show about fairy tale characters processing generational trauma, and how that trauma follows the generations even as each new generation tries so hard to avoid the mistakes of their parents, to the point where several generations literally abandon their children hoping that will break the cycle of generational trauma (it works exactly once) Anyway long story short Neal, a character who at this point has pretty much processed the trauma his father had inflicted on him (good job btw) just died while his own son (Henry) had completely forgotten him due to a magic thing and thought he'd merely abandoned him and his mother in jail. In his dying breath, Neal told Emma (Henry's mom) that she didn't need to restore Henry's memory if he was happy without it, if it would cause him more pain to remember his father only knowing he'd died. But he asked her to tell Henry that he'd wanted to be a good father and dammit if that didn't mean something!

The crucial difference here between Elfangor and Neal is that Neal explicitly doesn't put responsibility onto Henry in exchange for his wanting to be a good father (if it would hurt him more to remember, he shouldn't) while Elfangor does saddle Tobias with a) fighting the war that he couldn't anymore and b) there's the fact that Elfangor's will was only read to Tobias to motivate him to continue to fight that war. Which is on the Ellimist but what else did Elfangor think it was gonna do when he wrote it??

Point is I am on better terms with Elfangor now but out of the two of them Neal is the better dad.

[i-like-turkey]

Why can’t you just post now? Write faster please. Why isn’t it ready yet?

I’ve received quite a bit of hounding recently about the pace of my writing. Most of it about Throw Pillows, but then this weekend I got hammered about the angsty/pining fic. It’s not cool to get this type of stuff from people. But I’m realizing that maybe it’s because people don’t understand all the steps that go into writing fic, so I’m going to give you a long detailed breakdown of my writing process start to finish in hopes that some of you will get a better sense for why I can’t just snap my fingers and post a fic.

Outlining/Research

Outlines. All my fics are outlined. Even the little dumb pg-13 crack fics get one. This is where I identify the main elements of the fic (start, finish, and all the big events), the emotions I want to hit, character development stuff, bad jokes to make, etc.

Research. Sometimes I need to do research to make the outline. E.g. Finding settings for the fic, figuring out what a DIA agent actually does, getting an idea of what a place looks like so I can add more detail to the outline about how specific scenes should progress, etc.

Writing

Once I have the outline and initial round of research done, I can begin writing. If it’s a fic where I’m mostly making shit up, then I can speed through that. But there are things that slow me down: more research, smut, my adhd brain, fatigue, and my writing method.

Research. If I’m writing about a real world location, then I’m going to need to get a complete grasp of what it looks like. That means a lot of google maps and for Throw Pillows, lots of TripAdvisor and other random websites. When I get to a scene that requires this research, I need to stop and look at all this stuff before I can keep writing. More often than not, I’ll have to take breaks from writing to go look at all the stuff again because my short term memory sucks and I’ll need a refresher. I lose a lot of time to google, but it’s done in the name of accuracy and painting a better, more descriptive picture of what’s happening in my stories.

Smut. Smut is a pain in the ass to write. I’m happy to do it and I enjoy doing it for the most part, but it’s an experience. So here’s the TMI version of what it’s like for me. First I need to get over the embarrassment/cringe factor. I can’t stop it from happening. It just does regardless of how much I want to write a certain smutty scene. I sit down and start typing dirty words and my brains goes ‘omg stop you’re going to put this on the internet ahhhhhhhhhh so embarrassing.’

So it takes a little while to get my brain to stop that. Once it does, I’m left with what’s basically porn playing in my head on a loop as I try to give words to what I’m seeing. Mentally, it doesn’t work for me because I’m so focused on translating the mental images into words. Physically, yeah. Can’t help that part. It gets weird. Especially when I end up spending entire days writing smut. I finish and my body is saying, ‘ready to go’ and my head is saying, ‘I never want to think about sex again’ and then I workout or get high and try to forget that I spent an entire day writing porn.

ADHD. My attention span sucks. I’m hyperfixating on writing at the moment, so that’s why a lot is getting done, but I do get sucked into internet holes while researching and there’s very little I can do about that.

Fatigue. I only have so much mental energy. Writing uses a lot of it. If I crap out, I crap out. I’m not about to use non-prescribed stimulants and fuck my sleep schedule up so I can meet your demands for fic. That would dumb as hell and a good way to burnout on writing.

Writing method. I use the ‘vomit words on the screen and then wipe them up with a paper towel’ method of writing. That means I’m barfing thousands and thousands of words that you will never see just to get the ones that you do. I can’t write in a linear fashion. I’m super jealous of those who can, but for me that’s a recipe for having a blank screen. I just need to get my thoughts out there as they come and not care about typos or word choice or grammar or accuracy because all of that will get addressed during the editing phase.

Editing

Once I’ve spewed thousands of words onto the page, it’s time to edit. This takes quite a while because there are multiple steps: cutting down my draft, checking the flow & characterization, looking for major smut errors, thesaurus/dictionary edits, and typos.

Cutting down my draft. My vomit method means that I often write the same sentence or paragraph up to a dozen times. I need to pick one, delete the others, and make any necessary changes to other portions based on what I chose to use. Sometimes I hate all of them and end up writing something completely new.

Flow & Characterization. This is where I read it to see if I hit all the points I was supposed to. If it has the right tone. If my jokes are bad funny like they are supposed to be or reading as actually bad. If anything feels OOC. (Note that I give myself more breathing room for ooc when writing crack because the genre requires that you go big and get weird and thus need to make them goofier than they probs are in canon). If I have written myself into a corner that will make future chapters harder to write.

Smut. Here is where I ask, what are they wearing? When is it coming off? Where are they positioned as the scene progresses? This is to catch for any mistakes where I could end up giving them 8 hands or going from being clothed to unclothed to clothed again. I’ve made one massive mistake along these lines and it still haunts me, so now I spent extra time reviewing this.

Thesaurus/dictionary. This is the step where I make sure I’ve used words correctly, swap out words that I’ve been using a lot, and rewrite bits where my technical professional brain intruded and used big words that have no place in fanfic.

Fact checking. Here is where I review whether I correctly inserted my research and add in more research because sometimes I’ll be in the flow and not want to stop, so I’ll write a sentence and add [verify] or [look this up later] or [Needs more research]. So I have to go do that.

Typos/Bug hunting. My writing is plagued with these because I’m a shit typer and I think faster than I can type. My errors fall into a few categories:

Forgotten words—I often miss ‘a’, ‘the’, ‘is’, and ‘to’.

Missing letters—I can catch them when it results in a clear error and red line in the word document, but the unfortunate thing about English is that you can drop letters from many words and get another real English word.  Microsoft Word doesn’t always catch those in the grammar check.

Mashup words—If I’m tired or really on a roll, I’ll condense 2-4 words together in weird jumbles. There was a funny one in my last fic with the sentence, “Wills herself to shut off her brain.” I put that down initially as ‘willshe self toshutof brain.’

Missing sentences—When I’m really thinking fast and worried that I’m going to lose something vital, I skip ahead to write it regardless of where I currently am. Then I don’t go back. So I can end up with huge gaps and then have to plug them.

I try to catch as many of these typos as I can while doing the more substantive editing, but way too many still slip through the cracks. It’s a product of fatigue and me being so close to the material that my brain doesn’t see it because it knows what it is supposed to say and registers that instead of the glaring typo. So I like to do 2-3 reads for typos before posting and then I’m usually reading another 2-3 times and still catching stuff.

Conclusion

Be patient with me and be patient with all other writers. We aren’t getting paid for this. We have other stuff happening in our lives. And writing takes a ton of time for many of us. Hounding us about when we’ll be updating does not get you fic faster. At best it’s an annoyance and a waste of time because we have to see the message and choose to respond/ignore it. At worst it puts a damper on writing and makes us not want to do it.

[just-honey-dewd]

A Longwinded analysis of Deco 27′s “Vampire” song

Yes it’s explicitly about sex. This was a result of my short-term memory ass realizing I forgot that this song was about sex and then I wanted to analyse it in detail for some form of reference for next time when I forget.

So this song — from what I gathered, from what seems to be a better translated english sub from reddit — is about a person that thrives on sexual pleasure and gratification, symbolised by the fact that they refer to themselves as a “vampire” — a creature that traditionally lives off of mortal fluids. _They conveniently don’t seem to say blood in any of the verses._

All the teasing and suggestive lyrics can tie to the long established trope of vampires being pretty sexualised and deviant since their conception. The intimacy of sucking on someone’s neck (which could easily be equated to giving someone a hickey), or being close enough to hear their breathing.

Throughout the song, the vampire displays feelings of possessiveness and jealousy towards a guy. In spite of being implied to sleep with multiple other partners. But it’s also noted that their attachment is loose for everyone except him. Something about how they (or they could be referring to the guy) try to be strong, but they can’t fight their urges (also plays off of the trope of vampires trying to resist their blood lust).

The vampire is conflicted in their desire for noncommittal hookups, and their growing fondness for this specific guy — they want to have all of him. They’ve also become so bored of one night stands, that they’re emotionally distant to their one time partners (no niceties beforehand, just sex). The person they seem to get any real feelings for makes them act up to the point of desperation — basically screaming for sex/love.

In the soft section, they get into how they’ve been thinking about their secret thoughts and feelings: can’t express them and they don’t regard them as important to express anyway. And then they say:

  “I’ll just use you to pass the time until morning comes”

It’s vague whether this is directed to the guy they’re screaming for, or one of the many partners they’ve slept with.

I think the end section where they now change it to say

 “You’re a vampire. You can suck it” in contrast to “I’m a vampire. Is it okay if I suck on it?” is up for multiple interpretations.

Also just for further clarification: the first vampire says “You’re also a vampire” so yeah there’s now two “vampires”. But this probably equates to the guy on his end throwing away any inhibitions and giving himself to the vampire fully, thus turning him into a “vampire”.

The guy had been teasing this vampire for so long, but I think since he is now addressed as a vampire too, it could either imply that he allowed the vampire to give them a “love bite”, making him theirs. Or the guy was a vampire the whole time, like a slave to gratification just like vampire number one.

Either way, the “please come back again” at the end of the song doesn’t sound like the vampire got to address their implied deeper desires for full commitment to this guy. But also, vampires live long lives, so I bet committment is a tall order when most potential partners would die within a fraction of their lifespan. Commitment for vampires would probably be like “do whatever the fuck you want for the next few decades but we better stay in contact my love”.

Anyways. Omg sex guys 🥵🥵🥵

[imperial-nuisance-rudje]

I have come to the conclusion that everyone telling me to deal with the boss by clashing is lying. Characters slow enough to match her aren't reliably clashing, characters faster aren't reliably clashing, I cannot fucking trigger clashes reliably.

(It doesn't help that the UI is uniquely unfriendly to anyone with memory problems, I have to actively leave the prep screen to make changes and that is enough time for my brain to throw out everything, not to mention that the way the Sinners screen is set up it makes it impossible to compare characters well. Like, please do not make me feel the need to break out actual paper for a single boss fight, it fucking sucks to do and my wrist hurts enough without adding writing to it.)

I dunno, maybe something broke in a recent patch because I feel like I'm doing what the game is asking and it's just not working. It's not like I just slam Win Rate on bosses, I'm actually fucking reading and deliberating, that why this asshole stonewalling me is such a pain in the ass, even a short attempt takes like 5-10 minutes and a lot of my limited mental resources. Even if someone is hypothetically useful long-term, it ends up not mattering when they got their spine ripped out turn four and spent two of those turns doing nothing, yknow?

...I suspect a major issue is honestly how all or nothing the coinflip system is, combined with how even if they aren't "actually" staggered most of your team is going to be sitting out of the fight and you just aren't going to have resources coming in enough to deal with her mass attacks. You either get lucky early on or you slowly die, no in-between.

...This fight just isn't enjoyable. It feels like it's entirely up to RNG if I even survive and that fucking blows. If I'm doing something wrong it's because the fight isn't fuckign communicating what it actually wants despite covering me in words, and that's a failure of game design.

E: last run was definitely confirmation that it's the coinflips fucking my attempts at strategy over, I managed to get her down to around 50% and then everything went to shit.

This took over half an hour. I am so fucking tired. This takes way too damn long for the amount of effort it requires, I do one mildly successful run and I want to take a fucking nap.

[daisyvisions]

bad news i completely forgot what i wanted to add to that yandere younghoon scenario my short term memory sucks ass . BUT i loved what u said like yes he definitely would be like that so now im , devastated to say the least

no worries babe! but I gotta admit what you wrote was giving some ideas... 👀

[badcirculation]

Love that my short-term memory sucks ass, because I can both pack myself a yummy little treat with my lunch AND surprise myself with it later