#my subconscious has something else going on entirely i guess

[otaconsloverboy]

Ive been away from home but i got to go and see my luffy wig today and its taking everything in my power to not style it into ace

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch! This is kinda a scary ask to send but you’ve always seemed kind to other people asking scary questions so I feel brave enough to ask. So I’m a person with what I would say a fairly healthy and positive attitude abt sex- big fan of jacking off when the mood strikes and I’ve had a few partners. However, something that is really upsetting and scary to me are sex dreams because a lot of times I have dreams abt having sex with ppl I shouldn’t be having sex with and DONT WANT to be having sex with- notably, my father and my brother. I have strange dreams normally- anxiety related usually- but I HATE waking up from these dreams, I feel so sick and ashamed. I’m not even generally attracted to men, and these dreams make me feel like I need to second guess my identity. Additionally, my father is dead so I wake up feeling like my brain has disrespected his memory.

I’m trying to get a therapist for other unrelated reasons but a) my insurance is terrible and I’m having trouble finding someone in network and b) I would be so scared to say these things to a therapist - what if I’m secretly much more mentally ill than I knew, what if they hospitalize me, what if they put me on a sex offender registry?

Beyond “go to therapy” is there any advice you can offer me? It’s really very distressing and I’m really sick of it.

hi anon,

let's take a BIG DEEP BREATH before we start, okay?

so, first and foremost let me just say this, because it's important: nobody is going to hospitalize you or put you on a registry for something happening in your dreams. your dreams are not necessarily a reflection of anything you want or would enjoy in real life; your dreams are a pile of goo your brain spits out while its sifting information around trying to make a bunch of pieces fit together. unfortunately, I worry that you amount of stress and anxiety you feel about these dreams may be keeping them so front and center in your mind that makes them keep coming up over and over when you're asleep, creating a vicious cycle.

listen, I can't tell you how to change or feel better about your dreams. but I can tell you that people having sexual dreams that are in no way indicative of their actual desires is INCREDIBLY COMMON. none of those people are a danger to themselves or anyone else because of something their subconscious does that's entirely beyond their control, and that includes you.

having said that, it's totally understandable that you find these dreams disturbing and upsetting. for the time being, while you're managing them on your own, try to get yourself to a calm place while you're getting ready for bed - whatever works for you, whether it's mindfulness, melatonin, exercise, tea, warm bath and candles, taking time away from your phone, etc - and preparing space to be gentle with yourself and get into a good headspace when you wake up by making an extra nice breakfast, taking a long shower, going for a long walk, or anything else that will help you get out of your head and take care of yourself in the aftermath of an upsetting dream.

and if you do manage to find a reliable therapist soon, which I hope you do, I would strongly encourage you to bring this up with them if the problem is still persisting by then. anything causing you anxiety and distress is something that is worth talking over with a therapist, especially since leaving one stress factor unaddressed can also hold you back from resolving others - it's hard to focus on anything when restful sleep is off the table. once you've established a good rapport with a therapist, some conversations around this could be super helpful for you.

wishing you the best with finding some peace of mind xoxo

[restinslices]

Hi I’m the anon who asked about the popstar one! (Loved what you did btw) If it wasn’t too much of a problem I love if you could do the Lin Kuei boys + Syzoth too!

Me finally getting to my requests?! Who would’ve thought. Everyone got around 300 words besides Syzoth, who got 400. Why? No further questions.

Bi-Han

You can change him? Well I can accept him as he is! You don’t like the murders? Grow up! The atrocities are a part of him and I’ve decided they’re funny :D

I know the Lin Kuei are a part of Earthrealm but are they allowed to have technology? 

For the sake of this, imma say technology is very very limited 

With that being said, what do you mean you're a pop star? It's not that he doesn't know what it is, he just doesn't get why. All the things you could be doing and popstar is where you landed 

I don't wanna make it seem like everyone is supportive but him but this is Bi-Han. He's going to judge 

He's the Grandmaster so he's always busy. Going to concerts isn't happening and honestly? He doesn't give me the vibes of someone who's a fan of concerts 

He doesn't hate your job, he just genuinely doesn't get it 

Remember how I said Kung Lao will give you brutally honest advice? Same goes for him. You can always trust the truth to come outta him (unless it's about the father he let die but anyway)

I don't see him doing anything special. I don't see him buying posters or tickets or streaming or concerts. He cares for you but doesn't see the need to do all that. 

If he did stream he'd probably just put the video on repeat on his phone and go do other shit. At the same time though, do they even have cell service? Where is Lin Kuei HQ??

Absolutely refuses to add ice or snow to your set for an MV. Be a team player. Damn. Stop thinking everything is beneath you.

“That is entirely beneath me” “aight, I guess you don’t want me beneath you”

He apologizes for his outburst (I was making that joke happen by any means necessary)

I just think he's the most nonchalant about dating a celebrity. Probably forgets you're a popstar

Loses a piece of his sanity everytime a Lin Kuei ninja loses their mind over you. Actually wants to join his father in the afterlife. How y'all even seeing these performances? Y'all sneaking off?!

You're disturbing his peace but hey, it is what it is 

Kuai Liang

Also doesn't understand why that job, but he's less judgmental than Bi-Han. Not everyone can defend Earthrealm. 

I also don't see him doing a lot. He's busy and also he's just not interested in being around a bunch of sweaty ass fans. Nothing against you 

If he did buy your merch I think he'd set it in like, a box. He only bought it to be supportive. He's not gonna hang it up or anything. To be honest, he might give it to the rest of the guys (Johnny, Kenshi, Kung Lao, Raiden and Liu Kang)

I see the Lin Kuei as private and not really interactive when it comes to normal citizens so I honestly don't know what to say for them 😭

I don't even know if Kuai Liang likes pop music. Him and Bi-Han give me the vibes of someone who listens to white noise to past time 

Like Bi-Han, he's nonchalant about the whole celebrity thing. 

Probably doesn't even have a phone. He probably got an old ass mp3 player. What are you doing with that?

If your songs are more calm and chill, I can see him liking it when you sing while he does something 

Popstars wear dramatic ass outfits and this is definitely when he starts judging you 

“How does it look?” “It… looks”

He's used to practical outfits so I think he subconsciously spots all the ways your outfits could injure you 

“You could be easily spotted” “That's the whole point”

Will he add fire to an MV for background effects? Possibly. He has to have nothing else to do and be absolutely bored out of his mind to do so. Bi-Han says no out of spite and “this is beneath me”. Kuai Liang initially says no and has the same “this is beneath me” thought process, but he folds easier. There's certain things he is absolutely not doing though

“I am not saying 'get over here’ for you” “You're so not fun”

This relationship feels like a hostage situation but oh well

Tomas Vrbada 

He wants to be as stern and serious as his brothers but we all know I babygirlify him so it's not happening 

He doesn't have a phone but he asks Johnny to use his and have your shit on repeat for the views 

Idk why but I feel like he's a Twice stan so he's no stranger to pop music. I have no reliable sources for this 

I could see him buying pins and keeping them in his pocket since he can't have it on his outfit 

I don't think for any of the brothers, your fans would know you're dating which is something they'd want. They're assassins. They can't be all over the internet. 

Doesn't go to concerts because he can't. Such a sad life 

Gives background smoke for effects cause he's a team player 

Wants to be the first to hear anything you're working on 

Gives you honest advice but nicely 

I think he has conflicting feelings about you always being in the spotlight. He loves that you're happy but is also worried because that comes with danger and if smth were to happen, there's a good chance he wouldn't be there 

I feel like Tomas can lowkey sing (once again no reliable sources present) so karaoke? karaoke. 

You could talk him into doing a collab but it'd never be released. It'd just be for you two 

He wants to keep up with everything you're doing as it's happening but once again, no phone. Instead he just checks in with you whenever he sees you 

The most aware out of the brothers that he's dating a celebrity. 

Probably the brother you'd feel the most supported by because he's the most expressive (?). He makes his support very known and doesn't question why you're doing what you're doing 

He doesn't give me as much Ken energy as Johnny does, but he still gives me “Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him”. Like I said for Johnny, you're Barbie regardless of gender 

Syzoth

Does Zaterra or Outworld even have popstars? For comedy sake, imma say not exactly 

He was ran out of Zaterra and he was working for Shang Tsung, so even if they do he had no time to actually enjoy music 

So when he hears you're a popstar, he has no idea what you're talking about. You have to genuinely explain what your job is, what you do, what's a tour, what's merch, etc. etc. 

Like the Lin Kuei Bros, he has no phone. He doesn't understand technology at all. He's like a grandpa fr, so his interactions with your music is slim to none when it comes to music videos 

Explain it to him as many times as you want. He doesn't get it. 

You have to actually show him the video on your phone. You have to show him any merch you have so he can pick whatever he wants and you can sneak it to him 

Prefers you singing for him live rather than watching a music video but he watches them anyway because you're really proud of them 

Like Tomas, he likes little pins or other little trinkets 

Since he was in a traveling circus, he knows what performing is but you're getting paid and treated fairly which he finds fantastic 

He is slightly worried tho from his time being in said circus. You have to explain that they're two different things (sorta, not really) and you're ok 

Has no idea what's going on but is supportive anyway

He tries really hard to understand Earthrealm customs and culture to better understand you. Is he successful? Probably depends on the subject 

He doesn't get merch at all or why it's so stupidly expensive. If you weren't giving it to him for free, he probably wouldn't buy it to be honest. He likes that you're proud of how it looks but why is it necessary for success? He just doesn't understand it 

Concerts he somewhat gets. The idea is cute but once he sees videos of people fainting, he swears he's never going to one of those 

Does not want your fans to know you're dating him. Does not want to be in any of your videos as himself or a lizard. Wants nothing to do with the spotlight. He has trauma with being known. 

It'll take awhile to explain to him what fan culture and memes are, but he's ready to learn for you. 

Idk if I wanna write more silly shit or angst shit. I guess we’ll find out next episode

[signedeclipse]

Hi! If your open for requests I'd like to see headcanons for rengoku, Tengen, and inosuke and with a reader who is blind? I'm legally blind although I still can see colors and vague outlines, I think it be cute!! Please and thank you!!

Inosuke

Inosuke isn't very sensitive about these topics

When he first sees you almost run into a wall, he asks if you're stupid on purpose

After that he might be rough but he will try his best to keep you from hurting yourself

If it happens too much in one day he will throw you over his shoulder and carry you where you're trying to go

He has eyes anyways so he may as well help you out when he isn't really using them for anything!

Gets very freaked out when you accidentally make eye contact with him though

Will literally tremble, he thinks you've gained sight just to spite him

If you really want him to listen to you, you can try to look him in the eyes by guessing and if its even slightly on target he will give you his full attention and attend to all your wishes just please stop doing that what the fuck

He likes when you rely on him a little more though, it inflates his ego a lot

Kyojuro

He is as gentle as he can be with you, while also trying not to assert himself too much in your life

Rather than saying something, he’ll just put his hand in front of you before you walk into something like a wall or puddle so you hit him instead

It becomes very subconscious for him, he does it so much that he stops realising it and you just learn to redirect yourself after feeling it

Kyojuro believes in your more enhances abilities to keep you safe, but knowing his job he has to consider alternative ways to keep you home and safe at night

Would ask you to babysit Senjuro when he is out on a mission so you feel like you are doing something, but he tells Senjuro to take good care of you

Senjuro likes your company a lot anyhow, and finds your home to be very comfortable

He would find your enhances abilities very impressive, like how you can memorise entire paths and structures just by walking around them once or twice

Uzui

One of the first things he ever said to you had something to do with his looks

To which you responded about him being 'nothing more than average'

Ouch but he liked the spice

Uzui wasn't an idiot, but he probably hadn't realised you were blind for a longer time than he would have liked to admit

"You wrote me letters!"

"Someone else wrote them, I just said what I wanted"

Defeated

Okay sure, he knows you are capable of taking care of yourself, but something about the fact that you couldn't see danger coming your way upsets him

I mean, what if a demon is talking you up into thinking they're human? And you perish at their hands full of trust?

Because of this, Uzui keeps either himself or his wives in your proximity just in case

Thankfully you don't seem to mind, and the girls love talking to you since you tend to be the least judgemental of anyone they had ever met

Expect to always have someone who loves you right by your side, even if you don't realise it

Authors Note - Strangely enough I got a very similar request right after this, characters and blind and everything! I deleted it, but then I got another one!

This hit a little close to home, my eye sight deteriorates a lot in one of my eyes every year! Thankfully I will always have one, but still! Please enjoy <3 I made reader 100% blind so its more interesting!

[supercap2319]

Can you do an Ikaris x Male reader who is known as the Sapphire Wizard and the brother of Wanda (she’s technically dead here because of the end of MOM so ikaris is all he has) and in an attempt to weaken him Ikaris is hypnotized to fall in love with anther man but in the end he breaks the spell with true loves kiss (I know it’s probably overused but it’s one of my faves! Also if possible could you include the part where ikaris is hypnotized. Like the entire trance part and during the story he is brought in and out of trance until MR saved him at the end?) if it’s too much that’s ok!

It was no secret to who Y/N's sister was–had been. Wanda was the mythical Scarlet witch and was prophesied to rule the cosmos. But she didn't want to rule, no, she only wanted her children back and she did anything she could to be with them. Even steal them from another mother's arms. In the end, she made the ultimate sacrifice. She sacrificed herself to destroy the Darkholds in every other universe, so no one else would be tempted by its power. She died as Mount Wundagore came crashing down on top of her.

While her sacrifice was noble, it was not without consequences. Her brother, the Sapphire Wizard, was all alone in the world now. The last of his family and the Avengers he came to trust were gone forever. In their place were complete strangers that Y/N had no desire to get to know, so he turned to the only person he had left in his life that he could trust. A powerful being by the name of Ikaris. He was an Eternal created by the ones who created this universe and everything in it as it was Ikaris' mission to protect it from Deviants, but now, his mission was Y/N.

For a while, things were going well between them. Y/N had come to rely on Ikaris and sought his comfort and reassurance, but all came crashing down when fellow Eternal, Druig came to pay Ikaris a visit.

It happened on a quiet night. Y/N was asleep in his bed and Ikaris was watching something on Netflix, when he felt Druig's mind calling out to his own. "Come out and play, Ikaris. Come and get me." Druig's phantom voice echoed inside his head. Ikaris had taken that as a challenge as he flew out of the apartment window and followed the source of where Druig could be broadcasting from. "With pleasure, dear Druig." He responded back.

Ikaris hasn't seen any of the others since the emergence was stopped. Since Ikaris betrayed them and tried to stop them from stopping Tiamut's birth and the destruction of this planet. He feels they all secretly hated him, Druig and Phastos especially. He found the other male in a dark alleyway as he landed behind him as he strolled towards him. "I was wondering when one of you was going to come and get me. Guess I shouldn't be surprised it's you." Ikaris said.

Druig smirked and turned towards him. "You had this coming, Ikaris. Arishem's golden boy is finally getting what he so rightfully deserves. Consequences for his actions."

Ikaris tried to keep his voice calm, and his lasers chilled as he looked at him. "I think I've already paid for it. Sersi hates me."

"Yeah, you're gonna pay for it. And it's going to be all your fault." Druig sneers.

"Don't think you can threaten me, Druig. You and I both know what I'm capable of." Ikaris warned.

"And you remember what I'm capable of, and thanks to my few seconds in the Uni-Mind before you intervened, I learned that I can do this." His eyes flashed gold and so did Ikaris', but Druig was faster as he latched onto Ikaris' mind and buried his subconscious underneath a mountain of mental bricks as the fight in Ikaris' mind was quieted and Druig had control of him. He smiled. "This is going to be fun."

Druig knew that after Ikaris flew into the metaphorical sun after what he did, the Eternal escaped to New York City and he sought comfort and companionship in Y/N Maximoff. It was cute watching the two of them get closer together, but this was how Druig was going to punish Ikaris. He was going to make it so the only person in Ikaris' life hated him as much as the Eternals did, and he was going to be all alone for the rest of eternity. How delicious.

He forced Ikaris to go to a bar and find anyone that he could to bring home to his and Y/N's apartment. He settled on a cute guy as Druig pulled his strings like a puppet and had the Scottish sounding Eternal bring him home and fuck him so Y/N could hear it all happening. The young man walked into Ikaris' room to see him dick deep inside another guy. Timing it just right, Druig released Ikaris from his control right as he came inside the other male's ass as he looked around in bewilderment. How did he get here, and why was he fucking this guy? Then he remembered what Druig had done to him and immediately knew this was his dirty work.

Before he could do anything else, Ikaris realized that Y/N was in the doorway, tears streaming down his face as he looked absolutely crushed. Ikaris felt a wave of guilt as Y/N ran out of the doorway and into his bedroom as Ikaris gave chase. "Y/N, wait! It's not what it looks like. I can expl–" he trailed off as Druig once again took over his mind.

This happened for weeks. Ikaris would fuck this guy in front of Y/N and when he tried to explain why he was doing this, Druig would pull the metaphorical rug from underneath him and let Ikaris take the fall.

Y/N started to believe he deserved this. He was paying for Wanda's sins against the lives she destroyed and Ikaris was paying for his betrayal. They were both in hell and they couldn't do anything about it, until Y/N had enough. He had to know where they stood, because he wasn't going to take this anymore.

"Ikaris, I don't know if you're trying to punish me for something you think I did, but I don't think I can stand to see you parading your new boyfriend around in my face. So, I just wanted to let you know that I'm moving and I won't bother you anymore." Y/N said.

Ikaris didn't say anything as he stood there motionless as his subconscious was fighting and crying underneath his bricked prison as he heard everything that Y/N was saying to him. He remembers everything he did, even if he didn't do it by choice. Every kiss. Every touch that wasn't Y/N's was permanently inside his brain, and Druig knew it.

"I've been in love with you since we first met, but I guess I was fooling myself. So, I'm going to go and let you live your life. I wish you the best." He walk towards Ikaris and placed his hands on his face, bringing him close as he kissed him goodbye.

If only he realized that this kiss was one of true love as Druig's mental prison started to break around Ikaris' trapped subconscious and he fought to the surface of his mind as he gained control for the first time in weeks as he kissed him back, tears rolling down his face as he pulled. "I love you too, Y/N. I always have and I'm sorry if I hurt you, but it wasn't my fault. Druig was controlling me as punishment for what I did, but you saved me."

Y/N looks at him in shock. "You were being controlled?"

"I was. And I'm sorry for anything I did. I meant what I said. I love you, and your love set me free."

Y/N hugged him tight as Ikaris sighed happily. Druig may have won the battle, but Ikaris just won the war.

[autumnslance]

Hey Aeryn, I was wondering what you recommend to get past FOMO and overthinking. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I can't shake it. I want to play all of the story but I start to feel anxious. I start overthinking and second-guessing and the cycle starts again. I have a WOL I'm enjoying writing but I can't get her to translate in-game. Any advice?

I admit, I don't often get FOMO, but when I do, I stop and ask myself: is this something I actually want to do? A place I actually want to go? An experience I need? An item I want? Or am I just reacting to others, especially friends, having fun and talking about a thing together, so it's pinging a social desire/need?

Cuz I can interact and talk with my friends in other ways and places. I don't have to do all the things they do, play the games they play, etc. I use in built filters and blacklists on my social media to not see things about games/shows/etc that I don't want hear about, and I stop following a lot of (usually sideblogs) accounts that deal with those topics. When I left WoW behind, I dropped a lot of those blogs, for instance.

(I think some people would be happier if they put down media they don't actually enjoy but only watch/play because the people in their lives do.)

What about playing the game is making you anxious? Is it doing the content? Most can be done solo now, but friends can help with the stuff that can't be, or there's always duty finder. Is it story and character direction? Afraid things will happen to your faves, or they'll grown and change in ways you don't care for? That's a risk in any ongoing media, and up to an individual where their "I'm done" point is where they don't enjoy that lore and canon anymore, and then make the decision to change it in fanfiction or drop the story altogether.

With everyone talking about new content right now, even trying to keep spoilers under wraps, it can be rough for sure. Everyone has opinions! And screenshots! And there's new fanfic!

Is the anxiety because of the WoL you started writing, and how she doesn't "translate" in game, and afraid the lore will continue to make that harder?

In that case, look at what the character is, what you've written...and what the character (your subconscious, really) is telling you they actually are, or need. If they don't fit the canon lore...It's OK. Change the story to fit as needed. Or....play through it and see what ends up working after all, with the benefit of knowledge.

You can't lock a character in stone; a story happens because characters want something (large or small), and in the course of the story they are changed in some way (large or small). WoL is an anime protagonist with plotstrong abilities and gifts that give players a lot of leeway in any direction. Some people don't play WoLs at all. Their OC is a person they roleplay and write about in the setting, the plot happens to someone else, and they just play the video game with that avatar.

So what isn't "translating"? Is it appearance related that can't be done without mods and artwork? Disabilities that likewise are tricky to show in game (which assumes a mostly able-bodied WoL)? A backstory that seems to not fit (the world's bigger than what we see)? A lot of detailed backstory and supporting cast that now make you feel boxed into a corner?

It can be hard, seeing people with deeply developed stories and characters and supporting cast, but you also have to remember: a lot of that is built over time. Aeryn didn't have nearly the detailed list of relatives to start, didn't have the "dad was a secret heretic" backstory until 4 years into playing her. I still haven't named all of Dark's siblings. I've seen some folks entirely rewrite their characters cuz something in an expansion spoke to them and it made more sense and made them happier than what they did before.

When I start overthinking a character story, I put the backstory away, and just play them for a bit. I keep a vague idea of what I think their personality might be, what reactions would seem right. And then I let "them" guide me as I play. And sometimes what a character tells me ends up far more interesting. Or I find the stuff I was anxious about adding to them...ends up being canon, or at least working out, anyway.

And if the concern is what other people will think about one's WoL....well, you can't control what others think. And trying to please everyone leaves you with a milquetoast bland sop who isn't interesting at all. Care about the character you want to write, even if that changes, and make them as interesting as you want.

I was saying in a convo yesterday that the shrieking about "Mary Sue and how to not be one" caused lasting societal trauma and people are still afraid of giving characters interesting traits and stories. A person was anxious about giving their WoL traits that might make them 'too much' or 'too special' but they're traits WoL canonically has. We're in an anime story as anime protagonists, be wild and weird. Not everyone will like it, and that's good, actually. Cuz others will love it, and it means you gave your writing and characters personality.

Final Fantasy XIV is a game that 90% of the time, the content isn't going anywhere. You go at your pace, you enjoy the story and side content. There's a lot, after 11 years. Do what you gotta to avoid spoilers, gushing, complaining, or otherwise talk about content you're not in yet to reduce the worry everyone else is having fun while you're spinning wheels a few expacs back. Figure out what you enjoy and love about the game, and focus on that for awhile. Let your WoL breathe, and just play without plotting out how they translate or fit, and remember stories aren't set in stone; they have to be malleable. Especially when trying to write/roleplay in someone else's world!

You should be in this for yourself. Because you find it fun, relaxing, enjoyable to experience. Because you want to tell a character's story even if it takes a hard left turn from canon lore. And if you have to mute and filter out and block some things and people on social media or chat or whatever, do what works for you. But when overthinking, turn that around and interrogate yourself: "OK, why do I feel this way? Why would this be bad? Do I want this or am I trying to follow the crowd?" Make lists, pros and cons. Figure out if it's actually FOMO and anxiety...or if you're trying to tell yourself something and you're just not listening.

Give yourself grace. This game is just one piece of our life's tapestry, and while there's probably friends who want to see you clear content, the world won't end if you don't catch up to the current patch right away, or write a 200k fic about your WoL's life by year's end, either. Go at your pace.

[markantonys]

I'm thinking about Rand's ending in the books and I hate both the bodyswap and that he abandons everyone but at the same time I get that his sacrifice has to mean something so the world forgets him/lets him fade into myth. And him actually dying would undermine the entire point of his arc. So I'm curious how you think the show might tackle this? I'm sure there's a few options

i hate it too! but yeah, rand needs to be forgotten by the world at large and needs to get a new face so he won't be recognized, or else he will never know peace. so the way i would do it is have him fade into myth among the general public, but still remain part of his loved ones' lives and they all just keep secret the fact that this guy is rand al'thor. his whole arc is about learning to stop self-isolating and to instead let himself lean on his loved ones for support, so i felt that him ending the series by fucking off into the mist all alone was totally contrary to that and did not make emotional sense as the endpoint of the journey we'd been on with him for 14 books. i can certainly understand if he needs to take a lil sabbatical and have some time to himself in the immediate aftermath, but that should not have been the very final concluding note of his whole arc! for my own sanity i have to imagine he just took a 2-week vacation and then went to caemlyn to be with his family (and told tam, nynaeve, and perrin that he's still alive, and rescued mat from the seanchan and incorporated him into the polycule, and bargained with the creator to bring egwene and gawyn back to life........okay i'm getting sidetracked)

as for what the show might do, i'll brace myself for them to adhere to the book version, but from what we've seen in the first 2 seasons, i think that ending would make even less sense for show!rand than it does for book!rand. in 1x08, we see that his greatest dream is to live a quiet, peaceful life with his family, and now we're going on a journey of watching him be forced to give up that dream for the rest of the series. what better way to end the show than by having rand finally get to live out that dream now that his duty to the world is done? the tears i would weep if the final scene of the show was similar to his 1x08 domestic AU, but real this time! plus, the s1 ending & s2 already did the whole thing of rand fucking off into the mist all alone, making his loved ones think he's dead, and trying to start over in a new town with a new life - AND HE LEARNS THAT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE because he can't help but get attached to new people wherever he goes AND because he can't keep himself from remaining attached to the people from his old life and wanting to help them when he learns they're in trouble. and it also showed how his loved ones suffer because of him making them think he's dead and took a pretty hard stance in saying "no, no one is better off if rand fakes his death, not rand and not his loved ones." so i especially think rand's book epilogue scene would ring hollow in the show since s2 has specifically proven that that scenario doesn't work.

some people will harp on about happy endings being uNrEaLIsTIc, but i Do Not Give A Shit!!!! and so far the show has also shown that it's not interested in grimdark for grimdark's sake and that, like the books, it doesn't shy away from showing trauma and tragedy and yet still chooses hope & togetherness over cynicism & isolation at the end of the day, and so i think it feels very plausible for the show to give rand a bit more hopeful of an ending. (i guess the books TRIED to give him a hopeful ending what with him thinking happily about how he can travel around by himself and not be recognized, but it just felt false to me that that's the sort of thing that would make rand happy - in large part because show!rand was the first version i ever met, and i subconsciously carried his homebody caregiver stay-at-home dad-ness with me into the books even though he wasn't REALLY like that in the books in the way he is in the show. so that feels like further evidence that book!epilogue wouldn't work for show!rand.)

now as for the bodyswap, that's so tricky to imagine what the show might do. on the one hand, rand cannot fade into anonymity and be allowed to rest and set down his duties if he keeps his same body and will still be recognized wherever he goes. on the other hand, imagining rand's final moments in the whole show being portrayed by some random new actor instead of josha is so freaking sad! sad for us and sad for josha! it's fine in a book where we're in rand's head and can feel that he's still him even though he tells us he looks different, but in a visual medium, spending up to 8 seasons with josha as rand only to have his final moments be portrayed by a completely different person..........the emotions just wouldn't hit the same, it wouldn't feel like a proper sendoff for rand. granted, if moridin's actor had been in the show for several seasons already (and whether they would cast a new actor as moridin or bring fares fares back and just have the character still be called ishamael is another question i can't predict) then we'd be attached to him too by the finale, so maaaaaybe it could still feel emotional, but never as emotional as if it were josha doing that scene.

so i'm stuck here because story-wise it makes more sense for rand to get a new face, but TV-wise it's not sensible to have one of the main characters played by a different actor in their final scene(s). the potential solution to this would be, no bodyswap but have rand disguise his face with an illusion when in public so that he doesn't get recognized as the dragon reborn and get hassled.

so, okay, here's what i would do: rand wakes up in the healing tent still in his original body, but then he disguises himself and leaves the tent. he passes by his own funeral going on and slips away into the night, after exchanging a meaningful look with his partners who can sense that this stranger is him thanks to the bonds. then, cut to a proper epilogue scene of josha-as-rand undisguised in the privacy of his own home, watching his kids play with his partners by his side (and maybe all his friends and tam too if they REALLY feel like spoiling me haha) just like he told us in 1x01 he always dreamed of :')

[lesbianalanwake]

Re: dark presence rehabilitation, I was wondering... like, what's the goal? (this is based on my personal understanding which might be wrong.)

overall its goal seems to be to escape the dark place? but at the same time it seems like it wants to turn the outside world into something similar to the dark place, a neverending nightmare fueled by people's subconscious. specifically Scratch seems like a bit of a megalomaniac (I will make the entire world worship Alan's (my) writing forever!) (so much fun, geez...) - but... what's the point of escaping then? Scratch himself says in AN smth along the lines of a drop of darkness being absolutely inconsequential in the dark place, but so noticeable and fun in our mostly light world.

so, my suggestion is that the dark presence can stay outside but it ?should limit itself to smaller horrors. spice of life. a nightmare here, a nightmare there. Cats 2 (2025).

FHGHSKGHS drip-feeding the Dark Presence with minor horror allowances to keep it happy. it can ruin Hollywood. for Barry's sake.

it depends on what the Dark Presence and the Dark Place actually are. that could go a couple of ways. I could not even begin to guess which direction. scattered thoughts:

I prefer an explanation like "x entity became corrupted" over anything "inherent." it is man who is evil.

I'm continually wondering if the Dark Presence is, or is part of, a greater entity that got lost/corrupted.

AW2 describes the Dark Place as a mirror. I think the place that we see and experience might only be a sliver - a cracked and corrupted shard, if you will, because it doesn't always produce only suffering and misery and madness. just most of the time. so maybe Presence and Place are both parts of some greater ocean that got metaphysically landlocked.

maybe the Dark Presence is some kind of spirit of the Dark Place, and corruption in one leads to corruption in the other. so where did it start, if they weren't always like that?

the green/red Polaris/Hiss color scheme is all over AW2. Scratch is red like the Hiss. why is the Dark Presence so similar to the Hiss. what does it FUCKING mean, Sam.

(I have been thinking "the Hiss wasn't originally Like That" since I first played Control. something something the Hiss being embodied in Dylan who wasn't originally Like That either. so that makes me wonder even more about the Dark Presence, when they share those similarities. I cannot stop thinking about the apparently dead world that Hedron et al. came from. about the implication that something is eating away at the Oldest House, that its roots are withering. about the apparently empty world of the Quarry and the City. about how empty and occasionally extraordinarily violent the Astral Plane is when we see how full of life and personality the Altered Items are and how many of them don't really mean harm. about what might have made the Dark Place like that. what the fuck is happening out there in the conceptual reality behind this reality.)

there is the possible implication that the Diver had some hand in creating Scratch? maybe? but that goes back to the question of what the Diver is - Zane, the light/Bright Presence, something else. and what the goal is there. who knows.

I've said this elsewhere but I think Scratch in AWAN is more like. a ghoulish sliver of the Dark Presence mimicking reality like Jagger does, a finger of a giant hand trying to manipulate things. whereas Scratch in AW2 is the Dark Presence more fully embodied and also lost in the sauce. and it has fucked up big time by trying to use Alan to escape, tying itself too closely to him, to the point that even its grand escape is distorted by details of Alan's life. I don't think Evil Deerfest is necessarily what it might have originally wanted, but rather a sign that Dark Presence and Alan have overlapped to the point that Alan is changing it. like it's stuck in the Scratch persona now. has put on a skin that it struggles to take off. (but that's just a game theor--)

like. maybe it wasn't always a rabid beast of an entity and the Dark Place wasn't always a nightmare hell world, or maybe it's always wanted to get out of the Dark Place and doesn't necessarily have roots there. but over time Dark Presence/Place have absorbed and reflected so much of whatever corruption is going on that now Presence/Place want to make a distorted fun house mirror out of everything.

except. now the Dark Presence is not solely mirroring and reflecting corruption and "darkness" anymore. it's starting to mirror Alan even after it jumps out of his body, and, like Dylan being the narrative focus of physical embodiment for the Hiss, Alan is a (relatively) normal person who has been trapped and isolated for a very long time, which does strange things to a person. Barbara was just a sweet woman who got very unlucky. maybe the Dark Presence used to be similar. Evil Deerfest is strangely bright. we've seen it change, a little bit. something is going on there.

so I would like to see something a little more nuanced than "killing the evil" or whatever. (especially when it was all that Jesse and Polaris could do just to shut the door on the Hiss. ain't no way it's that easy.)

[skyfallscotland]

Firstly, I fell in love with Remi back when she still had a home on Wattpad and have only grown to love her more.

A little background, I'm an underclassman in high school and a super competitive athlete. I've had random long-lasting "injuries" for six-ish years, which got way worse, like "why can't I get out of bed" worse this year. First it was my ankle, then both shoulders, now all of my joints at all times (except my shoulders , those pains are gone (ish)). And these pains were making it really hard to train and compete, which is pretty much my identity.

I read Fourth Wing over the summer (then immediately found Fear and Flame) and was like "huh, is this pain not normal???" So, after seeing 900000000000 doctors and getting my blood drawn way to much, I went to see another doctor, a specialist, Thursday morning.

Thus, the doctor diagnosed me with Amplified Pain Syndrome (AMPS) which is a chronic pain "disorder" that I'm going to have for the rest of my life and athletic career. The doctor gave me an entire packet to read on it and even a school note with like excuses on it. I know it's not any major chronic pain syndrome or chronic illness and I know I should feel lucky for not having something supposedly worse, but it still sucks and it's frustrating.

Anyways, I've been rereading Basgiath (Remi's Version) and kind of look up to Remi in a way now. If that makes any sense???? I feel like she's subconsciously helped me a lot and will continue to help me a lot.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is Thank You. Like a lot. I hope you always continue to write and you're awesome. ♥️❤️‍🩹

You guys just like to make me cry, I think.

I hope you don't mind me replying to this publicly, if you do, I can delete it, but I feel like maybe there's other people who might benefit from hearing it.

I was also a really active, competitive athlete growing up. I think people like us have a certain type of mindset and we tend to push our bodies past their limits so often that we don't realise where the limits of our pain are, or should be. Mentally, we're built differently and I think that's why we fall into competitive sports.

For me at least, there's this small, gritty thing inside that doesn't allow me to stop, or give up. It's what's kept me alive, but it's also perhaps what made my illness worse, at first, and I still struggle with it now because I can't stop pushing boundaries that should not be pushed. I know what it's like to have your entire identity taken away from you and have to build yourself up anew.

I don't think you can say AMPS isn't a major chronic pain syndrome or illness. Your pain is valid and if you're having it every day, then I'd call that major. It interferes with your life and that's major. It's enough that you're allowed to be upset about it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

There will always be someone else who "has it worse" and for the rest of your life you'll deal with people saying "oh well my knee hurts too sometimes," or "oh my joints ache all the time" with literally zero understanding of what it's like for you (and sometimes, little compassion). People (including family and friends) are probably going to minimise what you're going through.

It's going to be upsetting and frustrating, but you do get used to it. Just don't let anyone convince you that it's not a big deal just because they can't see it, or because it's not going to kill you.

You don't have to feel lucky for not having something worse.

The most frustrating part about living with lifelong chronic illness for me, is staring down the barrel of a future where it doesn't go away, with no answers and no set treatment.

You're not "supposed" to say it, but on my worst days, I've felt frustrated I don't have something worse, or something acute, because at least then doctors would know what to do with that.

There's more I could say on this, but it's dark and it's heavy and I don't want to put that on you.

If you ever need to talk, I'm around. Fourth Wing has brought so many of us together and I love that. I have central sensitisation myself and I wouldn't be surprised if there were a bunch of us here with overlapping symptoms. You're not alone.

And it's not all bad! I'm not saying your life is going to suck and I don't want it to come across that way at all. I still do so much and see so many beautiful things and life can be wondrous and amazing, but if you take one thing from Remi, let it be her refusal to allow people to reduce her pain, and that even while in it, she can still kick ass and take names.

I hope you have more easy days than hard ones 💗

[henrysglock]

S4 Victims: Story by Proxy?

Okay so. In spitballing with Em...something stuck in my head.

So we all know how serial killers leave crumbs because deep down they want to be caught/want the truth to be revealed? Well what if the Duffers, or even current Henry, are doing the same thing. That is, leaving breadcrumbs.

This mainly has to do with the S4 victims, their stories, and the order in which they're chosen.

So, it goes like this:

Chrissy: Abusive mother who resembles Virginia

Fred: Eaten alive by the guilt of being responsible for the accidental death of an innocent.

Max: Suicidal over guilt about Billy's death and her response to it. Billy, who died saving her/while she was saving herself from the Fleshflayer, a regenerated form of the Mindflayer.

Patrick: Abusive father, not much else told.

Max (again): Suicidal Ideation, dies, soul taken, but was revived by El. She's now in some limbo-state, where her body lives but her identity/mind is elsewhere. She will likely be brought back entirely by El in S5.

It almost feels like a story by proxy if we piece it together.

So, let's piece it together:

Person with an abusive mother...feels responsible for the death of an innocent...a sibling who was killed while this person was trying to save themselves from a monster which came from Hawkins lab, which leaves them suicidal...and this person lives in a situation with an abusive father figure. This person becomes suicidal, and their suicide attempt was not entirely successful. They were revived by El, and end up in a limbo state. They may or may not be brought back by El later.

Now, let's collect details about our serial killer:

Abusive mother? Check. (No matter how we frame it, Virginia was not a good mother.)

Innocent died? Check. (Henry has nothing bad to say about Alice, which we know he would if she were not innocent, since he does this with every other victim.)

Sibling died as a result of saving oneself? Check. (The Creel massacre was a situation where Henry was, with whatever intentions we may assign for the other family members' deaths, trying to save himself from Virginia and by extension the lab.)

Ended up with an abusive father figure? Check. (Well...an abusive Papa, one might say.)

Brought back by El multiple times? Check. (El was the one who took Soteria out and brought Henry back from being powerless. El was the one who put Henry in the UD/limbo state. El was the one who opened the gate for his return to the RSU.)

IT ALL ALIGNS. So let's put it together with all the feelings involved:

Citations (I guess? Explanations?) are in the tags listed by number!

Henry had an abusive mother who was at least trying to have him shipped off to the lab, if not actually trying to kill him outright. This situation builds and builds, him wanting to be left alone (1), putting out subconscious and conscious cries for help (2), and her targeting him about it, until March 25th, 1959.

Virginia starts it, attacks, and this time she's out for blood (3). Henry defends himself (4). Virginia, being the parent with powers (5), doesn't actually die (6). Victor, Alice, and Henry go for the door (7). Virginia's on the stairs (8). She's got to finish what she started, since her original plan was botched (9). Henry puts his energy into trancing Victor (10), protecting him from Virginia, since logically two people can't occupy one person's mind.

This leaves good, innocent Alice to fend for herself, standing directly in front of the staircase. She's a loose end (11). Virginia kills her, but can't kill Henry or Victor while the trance is occurring. She figures Henry's going to run himself into the ground (12). She figures she can call Brenner in to collect Henry, like they planned (13). If she disappears, she figures it'll go into the news something like this:

"World War II veteran kills entire family in deranged fit of insanity. Wife missing, presumed dead. Son dies in hospital."

And on both counts, she's essentially right. It does basically go into the papers that way. Victor is taken in for murder, and Henry is taken by Brenner, but not before he sees that Alice was caught in the crossfire (14).

Henry ends up with Brenner, the abusive Papa. He's got the guilt about Alice's death, something that makes him sad and angry. Brenner, maybe, decides to push this in order to increase Henry's powers, but it backfires. Henry's powers increase, but he does...something. He lashes out, he snaps, maybe he even tries to kill himself. He's Brenner's prized pet, though, so Brenner can't let that happen. He seals Henry's powers away with Soteria. It's a death for Henry's entire identity, so far as to have him under the name Peter Ballard. Then comes along 011. She removes Soteria from Peter Ballard...and revives Henry Creel. She then exiles him to the Upside Down in 1979, only to eventually bring him back in 1983 when she opens the Mothergate.

All this to say: It could be his own story, told through the stories of his victims.

Breadcrumbs, or maybe...obvious things, which nobody by any chance ever observes.

Below the cut is where I speculate into motivations for his actions after Soteria's removal, so...not required reading for this particular analysis.

Years of MKUltra torture warp Henry's guilt about the situation into a bastardized, violent, brutal, unethical savior complex based in the notion that he's a predator by nature, but a predator for good. He "saves" the lab kids from a future like his own, filled with nothing but torture. He "saves" El from her ignorance about the lab and intended to have her join him, thereby attempting to "save" her, technically his little sister, from the lab entirely.

He "saves" his s4 victims from their guilt and suffering, which so closely mirror his own, which no one saved him from. I could even go so far as to say he was "saving" Will, who is set up to be so much like him, from a world of horrible people who (from Henry's viewpoint based on his lived experiences) would only serve to abuse and betray him.

This of course isn't to say any of it is right. None of it is right or good...but it makes sense. It follows a pattern. It coheres. The math...maths.

[mysteria69]

brain dump about consciousness, subconscious, shifting, the 3d, reality, and manifestation 🙏

consciousness/imagination makes our reality, the 3d is a mere reflection of that, our conscious mind and reality feeds our subconscious and the subconscious stores everything and builds the reflection that is our 3d reality. we in our truest form and pure essence are consciousness and existence, simply “i am”. we make our entire reality constantly, every thought, every experience, every belief has lead up to the current reality that we perceive, you are constantly in your own perception of reality and since you’re the one in charge of what your reality shows to be and provides for you, you can easily change that, everyone makes their own reality, it’s natural, it’s the way things work, it’s the way it always has worked and always will, by law by nature that’s how reality and existence works.

even outside of our 3d reality that’s how it works, when people are astral projecting outside of this physical 3d plane and they think of something they want or somewhere they want to go it immediately happens, it’s the same thing with our 3d reality but our human mind and senses are limited and this world is physical so it’s built different than the “true reality” (if that’s how you wanna identify it) so it works with how our human mind works and it goes at a different pace than the quantum reality that is the “true reality”, our consciousness/imagination works with the quantum reality and that’s how manifestation and existence in general works, if you imagine it, it’s real, it’s yours, it’s reality because that’s how things work. persist in that belief and knowing and believe that what you want is already yours because it is.

along with that, i feel like people have forgotten how we truly do make our reality so with shifting when someone wakes up and says “ugh i didn’t shift” “i woke up in my cr again”..well ofc they did, they keep affirming that. if our thoughts make our reality and what we say to be true is true then ofc them saying that they woke up in their cr again is going to stay their reality. our subconscious is like a computer, it takes in everything and filters everything that it receives and spits out certain stuff for our existence, it has a coding in a way and it follows a pattern, what you believe and say is what it takes in and believes and it has no choice but to believe that and make that your reality and it’s going to keep making that your reality until you give it something else to believe, the pattern is you waking up in your cr or at least you believing that you woke up in your cr, and if you keep affirming that that is in fact what is happening, then guess what? it’s going to keep believing that and making that your reality. change the belief, change the pattern.

the 3d does not matter when what you say is the truth and what you say is the only thing that truly matters. the 3d is a reflection of your belief and your thoughts so change the thing that is producing the reflection aka your belief and thoughts and reality will follow and change too. if you want to change your reality/manifest something new then why would you look to the past and follow that and think that’s truth? and why would you look at the thing that is a mere reflection to determine what your reality is? you’re the start of it all, you’re the creator, you hold the power and you decide what your reality is. what you say is the truth and it is your reality. persist in that and pay attention to only that. you don’t need to get upset if you woke up in your cr, because now you’re manifesting something new so you’ve changed your reality from that moment so focus on what you know, you shifted and you always shift whenever you want.

you’ve gotta learn to accept that what you say is the truth so therefore you don’t have to worry about it. let. it. go. you’re creating an unconscious and unnecessary pull and affirming that you don’t yet have what you’re manifesting, when you keep worrying about it and thinking about it it’s essentially like if you were stuck in quicksand and you kept getting stressed and kept moving, you’re resisting the quicksand and you’re causing unnecessary worry (well in that case it’d be understandable why you’d worry), just relax and know that it’ll be okay. let it go (the manifestation) because you know you don’t have to hold onto it. also sometimes we set ourselves up by thinking too much (definitely calling myself out with this one), you don’t have to overthink what is already true, it’s like breathing (stay with me on this metaphor i know you’ve heard “shifting is as easy as breathing!” a million times, just hear me out), we know we can do it, we do it automatically because it’s natural for us and it just happens, it’s the same thing with shifting, it happens all the time naturally because we exist, but with breathing if we think too much suddenly it can feel hard to breathe (sorry for anyone who now feels like it’s hard to breathe), it doesn’t mean we can’t breathe, it doesn’t mean it necessarily is hard to breathe it’s just now we’re too focused, now there’s this pull in a way and we feel like we need to breathe because we are no longer just letting it go and knowing that is happening, now we feel the need to make it happen and now there’s all this pressure and force. same thing with shifting, you know it’ll happen, you’ve already said it so know that is the truth, trust it will happen and for the love all things good and holy, let. it. go!

also your subconscious doesn’t just take in what you say and believe, it takes in everythinggg and decides it to be true for you and your reality, your subconscious only recognizes you but the outside world has an influence too, ofc we can’t control absolutely everything but we can control what we consume on our own time and how we choose to react to stuff, don’t forget to feed yourself/your subconscious some positive stuff and positive affirmations especially before sleeping, it matters and it helps.

[northern-passage]

Hey, about the whole representation matter, I think one of the issues some authors - especially newcommers - have is fear.

It may seem strange, but what I mean is that I think they are scared (perhaps even subconsciously) of writing some types of characters - trans among these - because they are afraid of the backlash if some people are hurt or offended by their depiction, and they sort of try and avoid it altogether. I don't think it's necessarily something to hold against people, but I guess it's a form of lack of confidence so to speak?

I'm not talking from experience though, just an observation. I know I am subject to that kind of fear in some cases, though not in these specific circumstances, so I can sort of understand where such a mindset can come from.

i do understand but i also think it's a cop out?

in the original post i think i put this in the tags but specifically with IF, a huge part of this community is sharing your first draft and updating it as you write. it's Extremely easy to get feedback during this process, For Free, from readers.

if you're unsure about something, you can ask. just be transparent. that's not to say that i think the onus should fall on readers to correct authors (authors should be doing their own research to begin with), but a huge part of writing is being open to criticism and being prepared to make mistakes. i feel like in recent years in this community there has been a huge shift in regards to criticism where now most people just blow it off with a cheeky comment or respond viciously because they interpret every single negative comment as a troll or a personal attack (which is not true) and imo this is what leads to that big backlash that you're talking about, not the mistake itself.

and i think you're right, it is also a confidence thing. if you're sharing your work online, if you're writing to publish to an audience, then you're going to have to be prepared for people to not like what you write, you have to be prepared for people to point out your mistakes, and you should be willing to do research and correct yourself when that happens. it's part of the process. this is not meant to be mean but genuinely if you're not prepared for that, if you don't have the confidence to handle that, then i don't think you should be sharing your work publicly yet.

authors should be allowed to set boundaries around the feedback/interactions they receive & i always think an author is within their right to disregard certain criticisms (especially when it's something subjective like writing style or someone demanding something silly like more ROs/changes to the narrative just because they want it, etc) but i also think it's important to be able to tell genuine criticism apart from trolls/entitled anons and to be receptive to that criticism.

on the other side, i do agree that some people definitely tend to zero in and dogpile (Especially on tumblr but this happens on other social media platforms as well) though i hesitate to generalize here because i think it honestly depends on the situation, but i do also think there needs to be more nuance and more space for people to breathe and ask questions without being met with hostility. but i also need to reiterate my previous point which is that this responsibility should not fall on readers (or other authors) to "educate" someone, and that the people that are hurt, even if it's a mistake, are within their right to feel that way. the best you can do is apologize and listen to the feedback people give you, rather than being defensive and dismissive.

and at the end of the day, you should be doing research. there are so many resources available online now, there are people within the community that offer advice, there are entire tags compiled on interact-if solely for writing advice on these specific topics, there's the writingwithcolor blog, and also just googling can answer so many questions before you even get to the point where someone else has to correct you.

writing is hard. you will have to do research and you will make mistakes and be corrected and i think, generally, if you handle it with grace and understanding, people will be forgiving. i definitely think in the end it's way worse to treat an entire group of people as "unwritable" because you're afraid of making a mistake and being criticized. to me it comes off... as someone victimizing themselves while also dehumanizing an entire group of people because you think they're "too hard" to write and "too mean" in their criticisms, if that makes sense, and i just don't see it as a valid excuse.

[kamil-a]

sayer itself for the ask meme!

Yayyyyy ty!!

How I feel about this character

LOVE IT, DOWN BAD FOR IT, OBSESSED WITH IT, SHOWSTOPPING AND INCREDIBLY EVIL HOTTIE I NEED TO TELL MY FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS ABOUT, and a strange and intense protectiveness coming from a subconscious layer i cant really word. i want to compliment it and boost its ego but it would only get me killed bc it would sniff out instantly i do so from a place of worry/pity for it lololol. but at least it might be a change of pace for it...?

All the people I ship romantically with this character

svencob haleson🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

My non-romantic OTP for this character

speaker though im equally open to romantic speakersayer!! It could go either way for me. I feel like this one hasnt quite Caught the lever in my mind yet tho so im mostly nodding at what others say. speakerhalesayer is excellent too.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think more fanwork should take advantage of the fact that it cant see/senses info both through alternate means and via trusting that data given to it is correct!! i really like the twist away from like.... controlling company=eye/camera imagery that feels a bit Too obvious. Id love to see it pointed out more... while im mentioning things, i also would love to see more fanwork focusing on it as an inbetween for things. i tried to emphasize that in faustfic lolol

entirely setting aside my own design funtimes which are, like, obviously Exxagerated For Fun And Not Reflective Of Actual Analysis, i still think of it as nb in the direction of turned away from masculinity. and it likes its voice, right, its not a question of dysphoria, but of mislabeling what SHOULD be a good and neutral trait if humans werent so weiiiird. not to mention its literally wire mother. all this to say i take a noticible but ultimately insignificant 1hp damage (which is ofc only to Describe The Heart's Phenomenon and not To Assert Correctness- mistake or not, canon DOES use he/it+"space boyfriend") when i see it reffered to with he/him or sayerhale described as m/m and i think more exploration of sayer as a fully agender or even slightly feminine figure would be interesting perhapbs...... this feels like an extremely dumb thing to care about- aaaa the tumblrina has complex specific headcanons on the finer points of an nb characters gender, pointnlaugh- but!

(But also more ppl should put it in beautiful dresses.)

I guess this is worth mentioning- for whatever Naming or Intensifying s4 future's program did, i think it extremely obviously had emotions all along. I think the only thing it actually gave it fresh and new was the ability to conceptualize how someone else is feeling emotionally.

I also am always skeptical of a move towards a more "human" experience being "better"- i want it to be skeptical of what emotion is- it knows who made them, after all!! It watched!!- and to retain its inhumanity even after its been so changed. its very, extremely, important to me to separate out the experience of both "nanite in occupied body" and "nanite in empty body" from "regular bodied existance". we love separating and categorizing here at kam inc.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

connected to the above, i wish sooooo much we'd gotten an earlier-season episode with an equivalent situation to In Darkness where someone is able to successfully lie to sayer by describing something they can see and it cannot. (doubleconnected to the further above..... claims to feel protective of it, wishes there was an ep where it got tricked via an exploitable weakness.... MY HEART IS LARGE, AND FULL OF CONTRADICTION!!)

[dethkomic]

Writin' Comics and Junk: Part 5 - Point-of-View Within Comics

Welcome once again, pals! We're now on the third issue of our second volume of Dethkomic, and I'm really excited to share with everything that goes down in this one! If you haven't guessed that the pace won't be slowing any time soon, then I have bad news. Anyway..!

The next Dethkomic update will be Friday, June 2nd, 2023!

For this tutorial update, I thought I'd share a little bit about something a little on the abstract side as it pertains to writing and specifically, comic writing.

Storytelling in the pages of a graphical media like comics, as I've alluded to in previous updates, is a multifaceted thing with a lot of different angles to consider -- and I mean that pretty literally.

More on this, under the cut!

Putting the Pieces Together

Last time we met, I went over the various panel layouts that are commonly found in comics. Before that, I talked about studying movies, tv, and other visual media as a means of understanding direction and decision making in that area. Way before that, we touched on the differences between plot-driven and character-driven stories.

What I'm going to cover today, and into the next string of updates, sort of mashes everything together. So if you haven't yet, take a moment to at least scan over some of the entries that came before this one. Here's a handy guide:

Part 1 - Covering the basics of the character versus plot relationship and the differences between character-driven arcs and plot-driven ones.

Part 2 - Covering story beats and sketching your plot.

Part 3 - Covering Comic Composition (Part 1) - General comic panel layout and decision-making

Part 4 - Covering Comic Composition (Part 2) - Types of panels and further analysis of how they drive the story

Good on all that? Wonderful! Onto our topic, then!

So we know that in a very broad sense, most stories fall into the categories of character-driven or plot-driven. In comics, as it is in all stories, what makes something come off as important is based on what may seem like insignificant choices the author has made. These push the reader to notice, often subconsciously, that our perspective should be riding behind the eyes of one character, or standing a few feet behind a few characters, or way out into space as we take a look at the entire world...

Who or What is in the Driver's Seat?

If I was going to write a story from an omniscient point of view, I might phrase a paragraph like this:

Charles stood atop the bridge in Copenhagen, looking at the hard-won keycard in his hand. He didn't know it, but somewhere else in the city, a doctor was taking care of his partner.

And if I wanted to write something similar but framed from a limited perspective, it'd be more like:

Charles stood atop the bridge, his muscles aching from the fight they'd just endured. It was worth it, though. The keycard in his hand proved it. He could only hope his partner had also survived.

Again, broad example. Don't @ me because of my syntax, English majors - I know there are objective, omniscient and limited POVs and that they come in numerical "person" states, hehe.

These examples are all well and good for prose (Dethkomic: The Novel is not something I'll be pursuing, but if you want to take a crack at it, by all means, go nuts), and depending on how you'd been inspired to write the rest of the story, you'd probably follow one or the other method based on that, alone. But comics are a bit trickier. We definitely do have places where plot is driving the story, and times where characters are taking over... but you're not always sticking to just one.

Here may come my greatest point of controversy, then: If you're going to write comics, you're probably going to be doing some head-hopping.

Still with me? Very well, and I appreciate you hearing me out, despite typing something so sacrilegious.

Learning how to Write Good Head-Hopping

First, if you're not a prose fiction writer or are otherwise unfamiliar with what head-hopping is, then I suggest a primer over here. Next - Is the term "good head-hopping" an oxymoron? You can decide for yourself, but I really don't think so.

Many a story has been written that shows an author's mastery of their craft in seamless jumps from perspective-to-perspective. Many, many a comic has, too. Not trying to toot my own horn, here... but let's take a closer look at the flashback scene we were referencing in our prose exercise, from page 40 of Dethkomic:

The panels are all laid out as you saw them in the story, but I've color-coded the two different points of view. In the red panes, we're in Charles' head. In blue, we've entered Caj's. Did you notice the shift? If I was doing my job as an author, you might have, but it didn't kill your immersion. So how is that done?

It's all in the transition.

As we saw, the scene above could quite easily handled by an omniscient POV. Want to tell the audience what someone is doing, then in the very next sentence, reveal what someone on the other side of town is up to? No problem!

In a limited perspective, however, things get trickier. We're in Charles' head, and if we want to know what happened to Caj - he simply doesn't have that information, so the author's not going to be divulging much. We'll need to shift scenes, therefore, and that probably means ending the chapter.

In a comic, though? I can't always cut a scene on a brand-new page. Hell, I can't always cut a scene in the same panel! But regardless, I have to communicate to my audience that we are, in fact, moving away from Charles' perspective and into Caj's. Several things help to do this transition in a clean fashion:

First, I kinda leave you hanging on poor Charles. He doesn't get a resolution, as nobody picks up the phone. Still, we're left to understand that his part in the story has ended.

Second, we start the panel shift on a new line. You don't always have to do this (especially if you want it to be jarring) but it helps to cut the scene in two.

Third, we literally place the camera behind Caj's eyes as she wakes up. There are few things more effective at showing we are now going to see how things go down for one character above all others than literally getting in their head.

Again, there are other ways of doing this, but paying attention to how your "jumps" occur can make a big difference in the comfort your readers feel when, inevitably, you have to have one character tap out so that another can lead the reader around for a bit. We're lucky in visual media, since we can employ a few more tricks than the folks who only work in words and lines of text - but we also have to take extra precaution so as not to be more confusing than intended with our layouts. If I had missed a beat, and just moved over to Caj talking with the doctor, that would have been too quick. If I would have lingered on Charles, that too, might not have been as successful. It's a balance, and your instincts about storytelling won't steer you wrong.

I think I'll wrap this little lesson up, here. Next time, I want to talk about the other ways a story can be carried, but not by the characters - by the plot.

I hope you enjoyed these insights. I realize they are a bit more advanced than the things we've previously covered, and therefore, a little trickier to understand and employ. But, as it is with all things, being aware of the rules and putting in a little practice should be all you need to master them.

Join me soon! And remember, Dethkomic loves you!

[azumasoroshi]

guess who just found out about the izaya character song, wonderful days!! woo!!!!!!! time to cry my fucking eyes out

i suck at japanese but here's a transcribed version of a lyrics video on youtube from 2011 which means it's extremely accurate ofc:

Subarashii Hibi (Wonderful Days)

We go our separate ways

Even if we met once in a while, there's nothing to talk about

I want to be with you, but there isn't enough time anyway

Let's go someplace where no one's around

If we took a break

Without noticing, we'd also grow older trying to be young

We became excessively informed in nothing but dark conversations

Both of us, busily sweating

It's a wonderful day, power is overflowing

I'm living, throwing everything away

Since you'll forget me

At the same time, I'll be able to meet you soon

Nostalgic songs and even smiling faces,

I'm living, throwing everything away

Even if I were to remember you

I'd do nothing at that time; (but) sleep, sleep

Morning and evening, sometimes I'll sing while daydreaming

Since you'll forget me, if you were to do that, I'd be able to meet you quite soon

also here's another translation i found (AFTER writing all that down) which is a bit more comprehensible

alright so what the FUCK does this mean lmfao

it's probably post-ketsu where he's reflecting on how ikebukuro will forget him and only when it does will he be able to return?

i think he was trying to sing to ikebukuro as a whole, but some character-specific lines jump out with shizuo/shinra "Let's go someplace where no one's around" is pretty hard to generalize to an entire city's population, probably subconsciously pff

the "though we meet up sometimes" confuses me because afaik he doesn't return to ikebukuro in the light novels and has pretty much cut off contact with everyone, so while he's clearly talking about emotional distance im not sure how he can't also be talking about physical distance :sob: isnt he in russia?? maybe i should actually read the light novels

on the other hand the "we meet up sometimes" could imply that this is NOT in fact post-ketsu which makes things like 10x more interesting because now it really fucking sounds like he's singing to shizuo

(lyric-by-lyric analysis of this song from main story izaya's pov under the cut because im merciful)

the "we meet up sometimes" = their fights, "but there's nothing to talk about" they never have any productive conversations during their chase scenes lmfao

"Let's go somewhere where there's no one else around, when we get a break" is interesting because izaya is pretty frequently alone? like he's always in crowds and outside and stuff but he's never really being "observed" per say

maybe it refers to how shizaya's chase scenes are always outside and heavily reliant on ikebukuro's infrastructure, this being in the view of the general populace, and as such their relationship is pretty public knowledge and has a certain set of unchanging expectations regarding it

and it could be like. what if we met outside of ikebukuro, free from the expectations and rumors of our city? what would i say to you if no one was around to witness it?

god im absolutely coming at this with top-down processing because my shizaya goggles are permanently embedded into my skull im so sorry. like im trying to see things from like oh what if he's talking about namie or shinra or something but it just doesnt make as much sense!!!

"All of a sudden, though we meant to stay young, we've grown older too" could refer to how shizaya's whole chasing thing is kind of?? childish?? like they've been at this for 5 years or something, and it's like. that's not OLD but the way they kind of?? retain their youth around each other most of all despite having the longest history with each other is interesting

"We've recklessly ended up knowledgeable on nothing but gloomy stories" is kinda confusing because that mostly applies to Izaya and like. maybe Mikado but not really anyone else? esp not shizuo since he's kinda. clueless to everything that happens, or at least a lot less involved and only becomes involved when there's violence to be had

in reading the "dark conversations" translation i immediately thought of like. back alleys and shady deals and stuff so i thought it was referring to that, which is still an izaya thing im just not sure who he's referring to in the "we" - guess that one applies to all of ikebukuro because rumors and stuff

late disclaimer i have not watched durarara in 5 years i have no idea what im talking about

"We're so busy with our own things we sweat up a storm" is pretty self explanatory; izaya's always busy ruining people's lives, shizuo's always busy dealing with the annoying shit izaya throws at him (not literally) and sometimes russian assassins and mafia lolis

"What wonderful days! Power overflows" definitely fits main story izaya more than post-ketsu, since he very much enjoys his power over ikebukuro and ruining people's lives, although you could interpret it in kind of a sarcastic way, esp since the song isnt exactly happy overall

the "...and i live having thrown everything away" is likely referring to emotional attachments/the concept of a "normal life", standard pathetic izaya stuff

"You will forget me, so when that happens, I'll be able to come see you right away" takes on a vastly different meaning pre-ketsu because this makes it seem more like izaya's scared of being forgotten - despite living in shinjuku he always comes back to ikebukuro, refuses to let it forget him, definitely refuses to let shizuo forget him and keeps tugging the line of their connection because he knows shizuo will only pay attention to him when he sees izaya and normally won't go out of his way to shinjuku

makes me even sadder thinking about how he finally lets it go the end of ketsu :sob: he finally has to step back and let ikebukuro forget him/let his legacy lie, maybe become a living myth like celty in a way

"the nostalgic song and smiling face both - live having thrown everything away" ughHHHH you confuse me izaya. i dont know what this is about i really dont. it would seem to imply post-ketsu again because there's nothing he's really nostalgic for in the main story, and he never really ditches his constant smile until the very end.

if we were to force a main story interpretation i'd say nostalgia for his high school days, or maybe the days before he started getting involved with the mafia/information broker stuff and it was really just him and his sisters because he's a lonely ass bitch

you could say that he might've not had any true smiles since then? or he's never made anyone smile truly because they're usually either glaring at him or smirking or looking at him in fear/horror or something vaguely antagonistic

"If even so I remember you at that time, I'll do nothing and to go sleep" ?? izaya in denial/purposefully denying himself of companionship? what else is new lmao

"While singing both morning and night, sometimes I absentmindedly consider how you will forget me, so should that happen, I'll be able to come see you right away." cant believe izaya admitted he sings about shizuo at morning and at night and thinks about coming to see him what the fuck

ANALYSIS OVER IM DONE IM FINISHED WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN

not the greatest song ive ever heard (character songs rarely are) he sang so slowly that i barely had to pause to type everything out, but hey ill take any izaya crumbs

now time to scrape up translations of SHIZUO's character song woooo

[euphoricfilter]

any tips on how to write for beginners? also where do you get the inspiration?

i guess just go for it. when i started writing on here i had minimal writing experience, especially story writing, and then over the course of the last year and a bit, naturally i’ve improved (i hope)

i think it’s easy to read other people’s work and want to copy their style, or want what they have. which is just part of human nature, so i say when you start out— write to find your style, even if it is a subconscious effort to do so. by either using other people as a guideline or fully winging it until you’ve formed a way that’s uniquely yours which is a lot easier than it sounds i promise. you kinda just naturally progress the more you write

don’t expect to have a whole novel length piece of work written. it’s hard, writing takes time and a lot of brain power. write small tidbits, little poems, things you like, things you see. find a prompt and write a couple hundred words about that. i think my favorite part of writing is the little excepts that have no context whatsoever in my notes, but just sound pretty and paint the image enough for you to imagine the story further or create a whole new world

uhhh what else…

write for yourself!!!!!. i struggle with this a lot and have to constantly remind myself that what i write should be as much for me as it is for other people. i tend to put pressure on myself and then that makes what should be a fun process entirely unenjoyable and then it starts to feel more like a job than a hobby

depending on what you write, research is always fun and a good place to start. which can sometimes lead to further development of plot ideas.

don’t be scared of stereotypes. i think there’s a negative connotation between writing and stereotypes but sometimes they’re the best stories!! sometimes it’s nice to know what to expect, or read something that can evoke something like nostalgia because the story follows the lines of something you’ve seen before (no plagiarism though!!! that’s stinky)

i get inspiration from a lot of things!! a lot of my fics are based on scenarios i come up with while trying to sleep. i think i’ve talked about this before, but usually before i sleep, i’ll come up with film ideas or drama ideas and essentially script out movies in my head which i turn into fic ideas as i’m not exactly able to produce an entire millions of dollars budget film. which is why i feel like my writing, at least to myself feels more visual, because it’s a visual piece in my head

fics like ‘standing next to you’ was inspired by the part in the MV where he’s on stage performing in-front of the actress on the car.

some of my writing is inspired by words i like, simple as that

or certain themes. a common theme in my writing is stars and destiny, something i really really love writing about hence why i probably bring it up so often

“stardust” was inspired by an article i’d read. movies i like. that one tae idea surrounding howls moving castle. “helping hands” was inspired by a tiktok i saw. stuff like “the feminine pact” was derived from my own ideals surrounding femininity, and my own sort of weird relationship with the term “feminine”

of course i get inspo from requests as well

really if you think about it there’s a story in every little detail of your life. and finding inspiration becomes hard when you’re actively seeking for it so let it just naturally come. i have a over active brain so i’m constantly thinking which on the occasion is incredibly useful when it comes to pulling ideas from every little detail of my life and the things that surround me

i think the assumption is that inspiration has to be something big, or meaningful to a large group of people when really it can be smaller things that other people deem insignificant, that you love

i hope that sort of helps?? this is purely from my own experience over the last year and a bit ☝️😔