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#my way out of answering because once again i haven't done a whole bunch of stuff i should have done long ago
arsonist-chicken · 11 months
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Alright sorry can I just---
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Alright thanks.
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roosterforme · 1 year
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Airplane Mode Part 2 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: When Bradley manages to secure a seat on your flight once again, he has to fight against the clock to make sure you understand he's sincere.
Warnings: Fluff, adult banter, swearing
Length: 2900 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This is part 2 of 2! Here is Part 1! Check my masterlist for more Top Gun fun!
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Bradley was just about to dock in Japan. He was so anxious to turn his phone on after nine days at sea. Not because of all of the junk mail and app update alerts, but because there was a small chance he had a text message from you waiting for him. 
"Come on," he whispered, hoisting his backpack and small duffle higher onto his shoulders. But as his phone booted up, it was becoming obvious that there was nothing from you.
Bradley sighed. He had been hopeful where he shouldn't have been, and now he just felt disappointment. 
He took a taxi to his hotel, got settled in his room with a huge platter of sushi, and then looked up tickets for a flight back to San Diego. His mission had been successful, but he was happy to have it completed. 
His finger hovered over two flight options for the following day. He could leave in the morning and get back to his own bed faster. Or, he could get the flight that left Tokyo tomorrow evening and hope like hell that you were working. He knew the Navy would reimburse his economy ticket, but he wasn't taking any chances. He paid for the first class upgrade with his credit card; it would be worth every penny of the additional six hundred dollars just for the chance to look at you again. He selected the same spot next to the window, right across from the fold down seat.
Then he turned on the TV, found a Japanese soap opera, and pretended it was the same one you liked. And then he slept like a log, his body still not used to this time zone and the horrible beds he had been sleeping in. When he woke up, he got to the airport way earlier than was strictly necessary, so he drank some Japanese beers and bought himself a bunch of snacks to pass the time. 
He was so antsy. And for what? Just to be disappointed? You had tucked his phone number in your pocket. Unless you had accidentally washed the napkin with your clothing, you had intentionally decided not to contact him. So even if he saw you again, it was going to be a strictly 'Bradley can look, but he may not touch' scenario. Because the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable by becoming one of the creepy guys who probably ruined whole itineraries for you. 
When it was time to scan his ticket and make his way aboard the waiting aircraft, he tried his best to relax. He was greeted by a male flight attendant, but he could see ugly loafers just below the curtain, and his heart skipped around. He quickly stowed his bags and took his seat, keeping his eyes on the curtain the entire time. 
It seemed to happen in slow motion, the way you pushed the curtain aside. You were smiling and talking to the other flight attendant as your eyes drifted across the interior of the aircraft until your gaze settled on Bradley. He was frozen to the spot, watching your eyes flutter closed, your eyelashes brushing your cheeks. You bit your lip and grinned at him.
"Welcome aboard, sir. Can I get you anything before we take off?" you asked him, repeating the exact words you had spoken to him last time.
You just laughed as you took a step closer to him. "Do you really want me to answer that?" he whispered as he looked up at you. "I haven't stopped thinking about you in the last ten days."
Your lips parted in surprise. "Oh?"
Bradley nodded and really took a good look at you. You had styled your hair differently today, but everything else was just the same. His memory hadn't done justice to the soft curve of your cheeks or the shape of your lips. In person, you were a work of art.
You stepped further out of the aisle as more passengers shuffled along, coming to stand so close to Bradley, that he had to look way up to see your face. "I may have looked up the passenger manifest for this flight last night," you told him with a teasing tone to your voice. "And I may have picked up this flight instead of flying back tomorrow. I was hoping you were Bradshaw comma Bradley."
"That's me. Bradshaw comma Bradley. And I claimed the best seat in the house." His heart was skipping along to an unknown song, a new one that he would love to play on his piano for you. "But you didn't text me."
"Ah, no. I did not," you replied, taking a small step away from him. You looked embarrassed now. "I wasn't sure you really expected me to. Thought maybe you charm a different flight attendant on all of your trips."
Bradley's eyes went wide. He had come on too strong last time. Made it seem like he did this shit on a regular basis. His heart was still pounding, but the song was far less pleasant now. 
"You think any other flight attendant is half as lovely as you are?"
You just shrugged and smirked at him. "I don't know. You tell me." You turned to greet some more passengers, leaving Bradley staring at your backside. 
"Don't be a creep," he muttered to himself as his eyes drifted down your legs and settled on your loafers again. And to his dismay, someone took the aisle seat next to him; the flight was completely sold out. How was he supposed to flirt with you this time, while seated next to a stern looking man who was reading the Wall Street Journal. And this time you had to divide your attention between the two men while you did your safety briefing about the exit row. 
Bradley had to wait until everyone was settled and you were getting into your fold down seat for take off, before you even looked at him again. As soon as Wall Street Journal dude put some earbuds in, Bradley sighed in relief. "I can guarantee they are not."
You gave him a puzzled look.
"The other flight attendants. None of them are even half as lovely. I've never once flirted with any of them. None except you. I haven't given my phone number to a woman in months. You even got me thinking about your loafers. And I was kind of crushed when I turned my phone on at the docks and only had emails from my great-aunt Sandy to read."
It looked like you were trying not to laugh, and Bradley could physically feel himself striking out with you. But then you softly said, "You were so smooth. Got a little scared."
As the plane lifted off, Bradley smiled. "But you checked the flight manifests."
"I did," you agreed, tucking your face to the side in embarrassment. 
"Do you still have my number?"
Your eyes popped up to meet his. "Saved in my phone. As Bradshaw comma Bradley."
His smile grew in size. "I watched a Japanese soap opera last night. Not sure if it was the one you like, and I was very confused about how the characters knew each other, but I'm a little bit obsessed with it already."
You took a deep breath as the plane reached cruising altitude. "So you don't just flirt with everybody?"
"Of course not," he answered immediately. 
"And if I texted you to see if you wanted to hang out next week when I have time off?" 
His eyes went a little wide. "I would drop everything."
"Okay," you said with a smile as you stood to help someone who called for you, and your knees brushed against his leg. 
Bradley's eyes followed you before settling on Wall Street Journal dude who was already looking at him. 
"Nice one, son," he told Bradley with a nod of his head.
A laugh escaped Bradley. "Literally unbelievable, right?"
"Quite," he replied before turning his gaze back to his newspaper. 
Bradley settled himself against his seat, listening for your voice as he occasionally heard you over the sounds of the plane and passengers. He knew of a decent sushi place near his house with a takeout menu. He'd figure out how to get Japanese shows on his TV at home. He could already picture how you would look on his couch. He wondered if you wore your loafers with jeans. 
You didn't take Bradley's drink order, rather you delivered him an unprompted cosmopolitan with his dinner. And when you brought him a second one as it was getting later and darker, your fingers met his. 
"I'm sorry I didn't text you. I wanted to."
He grinned as you collected his dinner tray along with Wall Street Journal dude's tray; he had dozed off with his meal half eaten. 
"You can make it up to me by texting me when we land so I can have your number."
You nodded and rolled your eyes. "I'll make it up to you. Now stop flirting and let me work. The guys in 3C and 3D are a handful."
Bradley's brow scrunched up. "Is there a guy giving you a hard time?" He was already about to stand up, but you planted your palm on his chest and eased him back against his seat.
"No. Nothing like that," you promised. "God, you're sweet."
Bradley just gaped up at you, so close he could feel your breath on his cheek as you let your fingers trail up to the collar of his Top Gun sweatshirt. When you grazed the scar on his neck with your fingertip, he was practically panting. 
"You'll tell me if they get out of hand?" he asked, voice deep and raspy. 
"You gonna rush in and protect me?" you asked as you released him to continue gathering up the trays. 
"I told you I would flex for you, Baby."
You actually giggled as you collected the rest of the dishes and shot Bradley a wide eyed look. "You sure did." Then you were gone, behind that curtain and out of his sight. 
It was getting late, but Bradley wasn't tired in the least. He was currently dedicated to watching you shuttle dinner trays and glasses back to the galley as each first class passenger seemed to be dozing off. Every time you passed his row, you smiled at him. 
When you didn't emerge for quite some time, Bradley stood and stepped gingerly over his sleeping seatmate and made his way toward the lavatory. He paused at the curtain, which had been left open several inches. You were standing in the small galley, stacking the catering trays and depositing them into the slotted metal cart. He watched you work for a few beats, your movements methodical, your expression a little dreamy. He was hoping he was the cause of that. 
Bradley pulled the curtain aside a few more inches, and you turned to face him, an expression of professional caution fell into place that immediately melted away again. "Bradshaw comma Bradley. Welcome to my office."
He laughed and ducked his large form inside the galley with you, letting the curtain fall mostly closed behind him. "I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just on my way to the restroom."
Bradley was silenced as you set down the last tray and then reached for the front of his sweatshirt, bunched the fabric up in your fist, and used it to pull him closer to you. When your lips brushed against his in the sweetest kiss, it sent him reeling. As you started to pull away, he dipped his head closer to yours, and you kissed him a little harder. 
"Lavatory is that way," you whispered, your nose brushing his mustache as you pointed to Bradley's left.
"Oh. Right." He wanted to keep kissing you, but when you released your hold on his sweatshirt, Bradley backed out of the curtained off area and let himself into the tiny bathroom. He looked in the mirror to see that his cheeks were flushed and he was grinning. 
He washed his hands and did his best to fix his hair and straighten out his clothing, and when Bradley walked past the galley again, you were waiting for him. 
He drank you in from head to toe, loving the way your hip was leaning against the counter as you traced your lower lip softly with your fingertips. With wide eyes and parted lips, you reached for him at the same time he tucked himself inside the small space and pulled the curtain closed.
Your lips mashed against his, and Bradley groaned as you threaded your fingers through his hair. It took him a second to get his hands on you, but when he did, you melted into him. He ran his hands softly from your hips to your waist, wrapping them around you and pulling you closer. 
Bradley had goosebumps as you raked your fingers down the back of his neck, and you were nibbling on his lower lip, teasing him with your tongue. 
You pulled away from his lips with a soft gasp, but you continued to stroke your fingers along his neck and through his hair. "I've never done anything like this before."
But you didn't even give him a chance to respond before you were kissing him again, softer this time, your nose bumping his as you nipped at his lips.
"Shit," Bradley gasped, squeezing your waist as your lips drifted over his cheek and across his jaw. "I'm about to go bankrupt following you from San Diego to Japan every week."
You laughed and started to back out of his grasp. "I'm sorry I didn't text you. It's the first thing I'm going to do when we land."
Bradley licked his lips, already missing the feel of you as he released your waist. 
"You should go sit down before I get in trouble," you whispered, running your fingertips across your lips again. "You're definitely trouble, Bradshaw comma Bradley."
But Bradley stroked your cheek with his thumb until you dropped your hand from your lips, and he kissed you one more time. 
"Nah, I'll be good for you."
He laughed as you shoved him out of the galley, and he made his way back to his seat. Patiently he sat and waited, and soon you were silently folding down your seat and tucking your knees between his long legs, like they belonged there. 
Bradley leaned forward and held out his palm. When you let first your fingers and then your entire hand press against his, he whispered, "I'm taking you out for lunch when we land."
"Are you?" you asked, laughing softly. 
"Yeah. I'm dying for a first date."
You were silent for a beat before you said, "I'm free."
Bradley held your hand until the sun started to brighten the cabin. You bustled around, taking care of everyone until it was time to land. And when the plane was firmly on the ground, Bradley watched you pull your phone out of your pocket. 
"I'm turning off airplane mode, and then I'm going to text you," you promised. 
Bradley scrambled to turn his phone on as well, and when a text arrived with your last name and first name separated by a comma, he saved you to his contacts and smiled as you stood to help passengers with their bags. 
Once again, Bradley waited until everyone else deboarded ahead of him, preferring to stay and watch you next to the rest of the crew. He wanted to kiss you, but he forced himself to leave after you told him, "Thanks for flying with us."
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You took your time cleaning up and organizing the first class galley and disinfecting the space. As soon as Bradley had deboarded he texted you back, asking if you would like to get sushi for lunch with him. Of course you would. You'd been thinking about him since you first laid eyes on him ten days ago.
And the kisses! What had come over you! It was so unprofessional! But you couldn't seem to help yourself. He was so big and handsome. He smelled good, and he kept looking at you like you were perfect. A girl can only handle so much chemistry before something boils over. 
You would kiss him again as soon as you saw him. That was already settled. 
After grabbing your bag and your badge, you deboarded, telling the captain you'd see him again in a few days, and you glided up the jetway with a smile on your lips. When you exited out into the terminal and saw Bradley waiting for you next to a kiosk that sold sunglasses, your smile erupted into a giggle.
"Are you waiting for me?" you asked when you were close to him.
"Of course," he replied with a bright smile, and you dropped the handle of your bag and wrapped your arms around his neck. He held you close as you kissed him, and when the kiosk owner yelled at the two of you for bumping his display, Bradley took you by the hand. 
"Let's go get some sushi and get to know each other better." 
You walked with him out into the San Diego heat, hand in hand. 
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Thanks for reading! Hope you loved it! Thanks again to @bradshawsbitch for the insider scoop and for being lovely!
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dreaming-marchling · 7 months
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For the emoji-ask (only if you're up for it!): all the ones you haven't answered yet (I just love getting your thoughts on your fics and writing 😊)
Sure! Here's a bunch I don't think I've answered before:
🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?
All of the language miscommunications in Across the Lonely Decades with strippers and thongs were funny to me :)
✍ Do you have a beta reader?
No, I think I'm too controlling and secretive for that lol. Sometimes I think I'd like a continuity checker for the Marked in Trust series but otherwise it's not something I've wanted.
🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.
I think a theme I really like exploring is an overall grace in mistakes and an embrace of the gray area. There aren't very many situations in real life where a person is 100% wrong and I like acknowledging that in my writing. Mistakes can be made without someone being "problematic" or unforgivable. Two characters can be right even though they're on opposite sides of an issue. It's so often about communicating and finding the middle ground over full out winning. Even if a reader knows that the character I've written is doing or assuming something incorrectly, I want them to understand why they're doing what they're doing.
✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to?
That Alec gets a whole weapons set up by the front door in Magnus' loft. Lol, I've had to check myself because I realized I was adding it to way too many stories. I just have a lot of feels about Alec's life in the loft
💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?
I'm really sensitive to character death. I don't write it but I've done so accidentally a couple of times with literally characters that I just made up, lol, which is maybe extra pathetic? So Brian's grief with his mother often gets me and also Joseph in AtLD was also getting me teary. I guess grief is my issue.
🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?
Magnus took the cup of water and put it behind him, leaving the empty one between them. “You’re not making the water jump. Every warlock has a different way they think about summoning. You’ll have to figure out what thought process works for you as you learn more. For me, though, I sort of think of it as sifting. Making the item so small and transparent that it flies through the air to where I want. You’re essentially going to focus on the water and use your magic to say come to me. Focus your energy on the cup, to delineate the area you want the water to arrive at. It can be a lot at first. Directing your magic, keeping the connection to the water, keeping your focus on the water, keeping your focus on the place you want the water go to. There’s a lot of threads to keep together.”
“This sounds dangerously like Beryl’s instructions to do seven impossible things at once instead of in steps.” Alec jokingly grumbled, “If you tell me to access the vibrations I’m out of here.”
Magnus chuckled, “I will not. No crystals anytime this decade, I promise.”
“No crystals ever.” Alec insisted as he had a few times before. Magnus had a reliable hunk of quartz in his workroom for purification spells and he had once caught Alec literally glaring at it.
Thank you! :)
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v-anrouge · 1 year
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heheheheh don’t mind me just joining in on the matchups, dearest cupidaster~
okay hmmmmm my love language is quality time and acts of service because i like spending time with the people i care about, whether we’re doing something extremelyyy exciting or just lazing around all day at home. i’m typically down for anything (within reason lol) as long as it’s something my partner wants and loves to do. it can be hard for me to vocalize my own emotions too, so to show people i love them, i like to help them out in any way i can—even if it’s the smallest things 
for love languages to look for in someone, i’d say it would be words of affirmation and physical touch. there’ll be times where i get too sucked into my own head that my thoughts will get the best of me, so having someone that could bring me back to reality with some comforting words would be nice <3 and while i do tend to stray away from physical touch, i weirdly crave it too (i’m actually just awkward when people hug me or smth lmao like it looks like i don’t enjoy it, but i really do- just don’t know how to show it properly)
most of my hobbies revolve around music lolol like i play the violin, sing, and i’d like to pick up the guitar soon. chronically listening to things on spotify and i also love a bunch of musicals. random karaoke sessions, too. lately i’ve been writing a bunch, but i also like wasting time reading novels, webcomics, manga, watching anime, etc. and i don’t really mind my partner’s hobbies; whatever they enjoy and like to do is perfect
for me, i think my partner should be a little more out-going compared to me, open-minded, and respectful for those times when my social battery is running low. i know certain people are uncomfortable when it’s too quiet, but i really like relaxing with people in a comfortable silence. puts less pressure on me to keep up a conversation lmao and if my partner likes it too, then yay we’re both happy. i also like it when someone is observant to the people around them
sorry it’s kinda long 💀 thank you in advance tho and don’t worry about answering right away! just take all the time that you need whenever you want <333
i assign u to me let's date /j
your first match IIIISSSS
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ROOK oh he absolutely loves spending time with you, you're both usually a bit busy but as soon as you two have time he'll immediately break into come over to your house to spend as much time as possible with you, rook would love to be able to watch a movie or a musical with you, rook would enjoy talking about it as it plays but in case that annoys you he'll keep to himself until it ends and then he can talk about it, if you don't like talking about movies/musicals then he'll just if you enjoyed it and then ask if he can put another one
rook cannot get enough of you, if you allow him to he'll always be holding your hand and kissing it as he tells you how much he loves you, you're always on his mind he goes through his day while daydreaming about you the whole time waiting excitedly until he can meet you again and hug you tightly laughing as he tells you how much he missed you, his heart beats so fast whenever you offer to help him a soft blush appearing on his cheeks and he smiles fondly at you and goes on and on about how you're such an amazing lover and how lucky he is to have you on his life dramatically putting a hand on his forehead
there is little rook enjoys more than praising you and talking about how awesome you are and if you think he does it a lot to you then you haven't seen how much he talks about you to literally anyone else, everyone on that school has at least once been told about how much of an amazing lover you are some of them think it's cute some thinks it's funny and some are so done they just want you both to graduate and get married already so they'll have peace
as soon as rook learns you play instruments he'll beg that you allow him to watch you playing, if you say you're too shy to show him tho he'll respect it and apparently leave the topic behind but little do u know that rook's plan is leveling up his praise even more so that you'll feel secure in your skill and ask rook if he would like to listen, if you allow him tho he'll sit down with a bright smile and his eyes shining expectantly he can barely contain his excitement you haven't even done anything yet but rook looks like he already wants to start praising you
after you play to rook he'll beg for a duet, it would mean so much to him to be able to sing by your side, especially if the song was a special song to you both, he'll treasure that memory for the rest of his life.
rook loves to take you out on dates and since you both love musicals a lot of the dates have to do with them, after the musical ends rook plans to make an amazing dinner for the both of you and talk about the musical
rook loves writing so when he discovers it's something you enjoy too he'll be over the moon, he'll ask if he can see your works and if you let him he'll be so so happy, in exchange he'll show you his poems, but not the ones like he writers for vil no, he shows you the his personal poems, poems that talk about his private life and he looks really flustered while you read them but he smiles softly the whole time, trust is something really important for rook and he wants to show you that he truly does care and trust you and hopes that you feel the same towards him
rook understands that he can be a lot some times so whenever he senses you're getting overwhelmed he'll immediately stop or remove the situation and take you to a quiet place so that you can recover, he'd ask you if you want him to leave or stay and depending on your answer he'd either kiss your forehead and leave with a smile or stay by your side holding your hand and quietly enjoying your company
you mean a lot to rook and he doesn't want to mess up this relationship in any ways so rook is always very careful of your boundaries and always make sure to look for any signs you might feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, rook feels completely accepted and love for the first time in years and he would never forgive himself if he ever hurt you, you're so precious to him, he finally has a safe place, he finally feels like he can be himself and not be afraid of the vulnerability because knows you'd never hurt him, because he knows you truly love him and he couldn't ask for anything better
other possibilities: lilia, riddle, malleus & vil
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technowoah · 3 years
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Rather Be Devisive Than Indecisive pt. 2
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You weren't planning to help Techno again, but here you are with his horse.
- ANON REQUESTED!
- I really wanted to do second part anyways! So thanks a bunch!
- this story is long 😪 it'll all make sense though!
- part 1 is here!
- masterlist!
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To say everything went south was a understatement. Everything went to hell, and you were currently living in it. You missed watching the sunset standing ontop L'Manburg's walls, you missed the peacefulness before the war. Maybe back then was too good to be true.
After the last encounter with Technoblade you had turned back to help Tommy and Tubbo. You tried to help wherever you could because you can see everyone drift apart, the main reason people came together was gone and dead. You tried to be a bigger sibling to both of them, and you tried to Tubbo and the former citizens repair the crater Wilbur left behind.
It took years, but L'Manburg was new and fresh again, with the help of Tubbo's new cabinet of trusted people L'Manburg was peaceful again. Tubbo had made you apart of his cabinet as well as Quackity, Fundy, Tommy and Karl. It was a new beginning.
There were days where you wondered if Wilbur would get a funeral. Schlatt had gotton a funeral, but you saw first hand how that went it wasnt a somber moment at all. It was for the best, they had mixed feelings about Wilbur and you dont blame them.
You had a new family, but there were things unkown to you, things that are being created out of your knowledge and that scared you. We have new L'manburg, but it isnt the same you dont know how long Tubbo could uphold peace in this new kingdom.
New things were created from the end of a old one.
It was a peaceful day in L'Manburg just as Tubbo promised the new citizens. You had stayed busy the whole day until a certian blonde came around your house frantically urging you to get outside and follow him
"C'mon! Just follow me! I have something to show you!"
"Tommy what are you talking about?!"
"Its VERY important, hurry! I dont want him to leave that spot."
Tommy had dragged you by the arm to the pier that evening and kept chanting that he had to show you something of utmost importance. You were trying to ask questions and keep up with his pace as he weaved through buildings claiming they were a "shortcut". Tommy stopped you at the pier and stood to your side, he was looking back and forth at the end of the pier to the water and back to you again.
You were about to ask why you were there until you saw a familiar man.
"Oh! Hello! Tommy who is this?"
He was pale, no, he was transparent. He looked pale, the sunset's dull rays made it seem like he still had skin. He had a yellow sweater on with brown pants and black shoes. He looked comfortable, he looked free. Next to his side there was a sheep on a leash with blue dye, you noticed it was poorly dyed too the dye was dripping from its wool. It was Wilbur, physically, but it wasn't HIM.
"He's Ghostbur." Tommy whispered to you while he stood between you two.
"Yes, I'm Ghostbur!" The ghost cheerfully said.
"This- this is y/n. Dont you remember?" Tommy cautiously asked Ghostbur.
Ghostbur had a look of confusion and curiosity on his face. He seemed so pure compared to when he was alive.
"No..I can't, but I would love to know." He stuck out his hand in a greeting.
"Hi I'm ghostbur!"
"I'm y/n." You said lowly.
You tried to reach out and grab his hand but it went straight through. You hated it, he's gone and you couldn't bring him back. It isn't him, but Ghostbur maybe better, Wilbur is gone and thats okay. Something came out of nothing, you kept telling yourself that everything was okay, but now seeing Ghostbur so naive and pure and free of the world's weight you believed everything would be fine.
"Im sorry. Im transparent, and I have no flesh." Ghostbur smiled.
"That's fine." You paused looking for the right words. "Do you know what you did? To L'Manburg?"
"Believe me, he dosen't. I tried." Tommy said to you.
"I couldn't belive I would do such a thing." Ghostbur added on.
"He shares no memories of Wilbur. Basically a new person." Tommy continued.
"That's great." You perked up. "It's bittersweet ya know. But Im happy you're here Ghostbur!"
"Im happy I'm here too, and Im happy I met you today." Ghostbur smiled at you while his sheep walked towards you, he unknowingly rubbed up against you putting blue dye on your clothes.
"Oh! This is Friend! I forgot to mention him to you. You can pet him!"
You didnt want to. He was dripping with dye, but you did it to appease Ghostbur. Tommy cringed while you petted the slightly wet, blue sheep. Once you were done your hand was blue, you rubbed it on your clothes that were already blue.
"I think he likes you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.
You were so thankful for Tommy bringing you to that pier. It was the closure you needed to move on and focus on building a new life for all of you. A peaceful life, but it seemed too good to be true. Days went by like normal and that sometimes was too much for you. You worked on new buildings and worked with Tubbo's cabinet too, that was a new normality for you.
The unknown scared you, but you had your family here. You had made amends with them and now and this is what you wanted. But then again it all seemed too good to be true.
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Nobody had told you anything, you weren't in cabinet meetings, nor around Tubbo or Tommy. You felt shut out, you felt sick. The cabinet had decided to do something about Tommy and Dream started to become involved in Tommy's predicament. Soon after Tommy was in court, stripped away of his vice presidency, and had been put on probation.
Tubbo had come to you about Tommy being exiled. There was a huge meeting with the cabient and Dream about that situation and you had stayed silent the whole time. You wanted what was best for L'Manburg, but Tommy was like a brother to you, you couldn't send him away to fend for himself. You could see the confliction on Tubbo's face as he was going through the same dilemma as you were.
In the end Dream gave Tubboo 3 days to chose if to exile Tommy or not.
Tubbo had talked to you about the situation before the second day came. You two were in the same boat when it came to exiling him. You two had came to a conclusion, Tubbo just had to talk with the rest of his cabinent for a final conclusion.
The second day came and the plan switched immediately when Tommy came and introduced it. He wanted to fight back against Dream, of course he did, but he wanted another man to come and help. They wanted Technoblade to join their revolt. Quackity and Fundy agreed with the idea, but Tubbo was more cautious. You hated it.
Technoblade wasn't a subject nor person you wanted to be associated with ever since that night in Pogtopia. After all this time you had forgotten about him, you had forgotten your failed attempt at rekindling your friendship until now.
Tubbo was cautious, but you were 100% against it. Tubbo agreed with the rest of the cabinet and Tommy. They eventually asked you, and of course you said no, but it didn't matter, majority rules in this case.
You all approched Dream intop of the obsidian walls with your final decision.
"We have come to a decision. Look around." Tubbk leaded.
"There's giant, obsidian walls." Dream answered calmly.
"There is, there is Dream. And that's a problem, okay? This is funny actually." Tubbo turned back to Tommy. "Tommy, I am- I am so sorry."
Tubbo continues to talk to Dream. "I have come to the decision, that it'll be better for the nation the most logical thing to do is for Tommy to be exiled from L'Manburg."
"What?"
"Tubbo?!"
"Teaming up with Technoblade is an awful idea! It's an awful idea!"
Oh thank goodness.
"We just had this conversation!" Fundy yelled.
"No! No! Okay?! Nothing! Involving any kind of conflict is not safe for this nation! You've undermined my authority from the get go! Okay! All of you! No one here has respected me. You all jump on these merry little bandwagons of destruction. It's not okay!"
Tubbo was livid. His face was turning red and will keep doing so if he kept yelling. You felt a familiar breeze beside you as you saw Ghostbur standing next to you and behind Tommy. He smiled at you and continued yo listen to Tubbo's angry speech. You wondered why he was here, why he showed up at times and then left. Like he only needed to listen and not give any input.
"You cant go back on the plan now?! What the hell?!" Tommy yelled.
"When I was sworn in I made a promise to do what was best for the nation. And right now, Tommy you, your presence here is not the best for his nation."
Your heart dropped to your stomach and you think ghostbur noticed. You were happy that you didnt need to see Technoblade again, but you were going to lose what you would call a brother. You started to backtrack on your final decision, you belived Tubbo was in thr right. Tubbo wanted what was best for L'Manburg and what was best for L'Manburg was for Tommy to be exiled. You wished there was another way, but you know Tommy was stubborn it wouldn't work that easy.
Your mind kept wandering to if Tubbo decided to team with Technoblade. He was right there would be destruction, a huge war and probably the end of L'Manburg. You didn't want that again, you didn't want to see him again. You couldn't help but wonder if he knew L'Manburg was brand new.
"Dream, please detain and escort Tommy out of my country."
Tommy was gone. Its been weeks, four weeks to be exact. L'Manburg was peaceful, everywhere was peaceful, but you had to admit that you missed him. Fundy and Quackity tried to convince Tubbo to bring Tommy back, but he already made up his mind. He was confident in his decision, you were proud he was ruling L'Manburg confidently, but everyone was weary.
You haven't seen Ghostbur around either, he must've been floating around somewhere. It's none of your business.
The walls have been taken down and L'Manburg was independent again. There were sacrifices to be made. There were a lot of sacrifices to be made to keep L'Manburg up, and you kept asking yourself if everything was worth it. Was the discs worth that much to Tommy? Was L'Manburg even a good choice to begin with?
Was Technoblade right?
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The Butcher Gang. They were calling themselves The Butcher Gang. The cabinet had several meeting and came ti the decisions that the biggest problems in L'Manburg were Technoblade and Dream. The cabinet decided not to kill Dream because of the fact that he was allies with L'Manburg, so they decided to try and kill Technoblade.
Dumbasses. You've mentioned to Tubbo that he was a very, very, very dangerous man. Tubbo has seen him before! You asked Tubbo constantly why did he wants to kill him when he says that he didn't want to team up with him. Tubbo said it was for the better of L'Manburg, but dosent he know that might cause even more trouble?
You didnt want to join them, you couldn't risk your life for something that is impossible to achieve. You separated from the cabinet, you couldn't watch them do this and you tried to stop them, but they insisted on the act.
Lately you've seen more of Ghostbur and that made you happy. It made you happy he wanted to spend time with you and it made you forget the trouble brewing in the cabinet.
"What's wrong?" Ghostbur asked while sitting on the edge of the pier with you, and Friend who was tied to one of the pier's poles.
"It's nothing Ghostbur." You said with a sigh.
"Good!" He cheerfully said.
"Can I actually tel you something?" You asked again, you wanted to get this off of your chest.
"Of course." He smiled.
You sighed and then began to speak as you looked out to the water. "It's the cabinet, its Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity that's the problem."
"But they are wonderful people! What can they do wrong?" Ghostbur suddenly asked.
"They want to kill someone, Ghostbur."
"Maybe it was a misunderstanding."
"I dont- I dont think so." You hung your head looking at your feet.
"Ghostbur, they want to kill Technoblade and I dont-"
"Technoblade?! That's my friend! Why- why would they want to kill him?"
Your heart felt heavy at his words. Another point not to kill Technoblade, you didn't want Ghostbur to hurt, not like Wilbur.
"He was a friend of mine too once. When L'Manburg first got blown up he- we betrayed L'Manburg and then spawned 3 wither skeletons to destroy the rest of the citizens." You explained to Ghostbur's disrught face.
"You wouldn't do that! You're kind!" Ghostbur exclaimed.
"It wasn't my best decision Ghostbur. People can make bad mistakes. A lot of people do. They aren't pure like you." You smiled softly at him.
A long hush fell over the two of you until Ghostbur perked up.
"We need to save Technoblade!" He exclaimed.
"Ghostbur I cant do that."
"Why not?"
"Because me and Techno aren't friends anymore." You said sadly.
"Why not?"
You couldn't answer that. You can, you can give the right answer, but at this moment you couldnt tell the ghost who suddenly stood up next to you.
"If I take you to where Technoblade lives will you feel better?" Ghostbur asked with Friend's leash in his hands.
Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity didnt know where Technoblade lives and desperately wanted to know to kill him. Maybe this was a good idea. You tried to convince yourself that as you walked side by side with Ghostbur. You had followed him through the woods as he weaved in and out of the trees. Friend was following Ghostbur as well, he wouldn't let Friend stay anywhere out of his sight.
You were getting special treatment, you were about to find out where Technoblade lived before The Butcher Gang would. Would you be considered a traitor again? Tubbo wouldn't want you back in the cabinet if you knew where Technoblade lived and you didnt tell him.
The atmosphere got colder as you two ventured on, you didnt know he would retreat all the way out here. It was snowing and you didn't bring any type of warm clothing considering L'Manburg was rather warm. Ghostbur had no problem, neither did Friend. Luckily you saw a light in the dark woods. It was further away, but you could see the light expand as you two treaded over towards it.
"That's the house!" Ghostbur pointed too.
You two reached the end of the woods and before you was an opening. There was blanket of white snow everywhere, there were footprints in the snow, but they were being covered by the falling snow above you. It was a valley and the only thing there was a beautiful wooden house. It was errie, the only civilization here was was Technoblade who lived in the house.
"It's pretty lonely." You said still cautious of the situation.
"Yeah it's sad, but we're here and it's okay!" Ghostbur said.
"Sure." You whispered as Ghostbur continues to lead the way.
You two got closer and closer to the house and you continued to try and back out. It's too late to do so now, you didnt even feel like walking back to L'Manburg after you confront Technoblade again. The two of you were heading up to his door, your heart was beating heavier as you got to his door. You brought your fist up to knock on the door, hopefully he was home because you were freezing cold. You harshly knocked on his door and awaited for his response.
You two waited for a while, but no one was opening the door.
"Ghostbur why don't you go inside?"
"I'll just peak my head in!" He answered and did so. His head phased through the door and then he came back out with a frown on his face. "No one is in there."
"Why did we come here?" You sulked and started to turn away from the door.
"Why the hell are you two here at night?!"
"Oh! Techno! Hi!"
Shit. You were looking into his eyes and you froze when he turned to you. This was the first time you've seen him in years ever since Pogtopia, you hated it. It was embarrassing you tried to become friends long ago, but that failed, and now you were here again. He probably saw you as desperate, coming back to him after betraying him.
"Hello Ghostbur. How are you?" Technoblade walked in between the two of you opening the door to his house. When he walked in he intentionally left the door open for you and Ghostbur. Luckily it was warmer inside and you welcomed it.
"Im good! But we are here for you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.
"Oh really?" Technoblade said while occupying himself with something else, not even bothering to look at the two of you standing awkwardly at his closed door.
"Yeah, Y/N tell him!" Ghostbur urged you on.
You paused for a second before speaking to Technoblade, who wasnt even paying attention. "There's these people called the Butcher Gang."
"Sounds stupid."
"Yeah it is. And they want you."
Techno scoffed. "Want me for what?"
You knew Technoblade was smarter than this. He was bouncing around the room not even sparing a glance towards you. He wasn't paying attention.
"They want to kill you Technoblade."
He stopped all of his movements, stood up to his full height and looked towards you and Ghostbur for the first time you've been in his house.
"You better not be screwing with me."
"Why would I?!" You got offended by his statement.
"I dont know, because you show up to my house out of nowhere and tell me that people are trying to kill me. This could be a setup! I cant trust-"
"Okay! The Butcher Gang is Tubbo, Quackity and Fundy. Thats all I know of who's in the group. They want to kill you because you are a threat to L'Manburg. Trust me!" You cut him off and explained.
"What do you want me to do about it?" Technoblade asked you.
"Dont kill them, but I wanted to warn you. They are being reckless and since you're out here they shouldn't bother you. They're looking for more trouble, Tubbo already has a lot on his plate, this isn't a good idea for you nor L'Manburg."
You finished your statement still weary of this whole situation. You hated being in this situation, Techno's presence didn't make you uncomfortable it was just seeing him and warning him of future danger. You two weren't even considered close, why were you here? You were here for L'Manburg.
"Okay. I'll try. No promises though." Techno smirked and continued doing whatever task he was doing.
You found somewhere to sit for the time being knowing that you two wouldn't talk. Looking around the room you realized that Friend was alone inside the house without Ghostbur. You looked outside and saw him walking from the woods again in a rushed pace. You didn't know he left, he phased back into the house.
"They say they're gonna kill you. Y/n was right." Ghostbur says.
"Were you two leading them to my house?!"
"No."
"No we didn't! We didn't even know they were coming today!" You stood up looking out the window in search of Tubbo and the rest of them.
"Ghostbur who was with them?" You asked as Techno ran around the rooms for weapons and armor.
"Um, Tubbo, Fundy, Quackity..Oh! And Ranboo."
"Ranboo?!" That poor kid. What is he doing?
"Eventhough I hate to say this. I don't trust you. Get out." Technoblade paused infront of you before rushing to the other room. "And tell them I'm not home!"
"And if that dosent work?!" You yelled back.
"Then to hell with them!"
You rushed outside with Ghostbur, hoping that the Butcher Gang dosen't notice you were leaving Technoblade's house. It was too late, they were already lined up outside with full netherite armor and gear.
"Y/n?!"
"Wait what are you doing here?" Tubbo asked as you made your way towards them.
"Im- I wanted to try and rekindle mine and Technoblade's relationship." You used an old lie to get yourself out of this situation. This was an already bad look on you, hopefully your lie would work.
"I thought your friendship ended a long time ago?" Tubbo asked again.
"It did, but I wanted to try again." This was embarrassing, now you really seem desperate.
"I see, then move out of our way." Tubbo asked you harshly.
"Uh- hey." Technoblade came out of his house with full netherite too, you weren't protected, so you will have to stay out of the way.
"Why have you guys come all the way over here to my humble abode?" Technoblade started walking towards his stable where he kelt his horse. He tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't seem to work. As he moved you moved with him trying not to be inbetween the dangerous men with swords and enchanted armor.
"You need to pay for your war crimes." Tubbo said while following Technoblade.
"That was like- that's in the past! Alright, that was a different Technoblade. Im a changed man now! Im in retirement! Im a good person now Tubbo!" Technoblade dragged on as Tubbo just hummed in response.
Quackity spoke up. "Technoblade you exploded L'Manburg with fucking withers."
"You literally spawned Withers everywhere!" Tubbo exclaimed.
"Im sorry, Im sorry Technoblade as much as you changed you have to be brought to justice for that." Quackity interrupted Tubbo.
The Butcher Gang tried to speak to Technoblade at the same time, when Technoblade spoke up over them all.
"Listen guys! I've gone through so much effort over the past month to change my violent ways! I've reformed alright? The voices, they demand blood! And I- I have been denying THEM! Ive been fighting back! Please! Please dont make me kill all of you, please just leave."
You guess he has changed, but you knew somewhere in your mind that he wasn't talking about just the Butcher Gang, he was including you too. You were somewhat confident that you wouldn't be attacked or killed, but you were terribly wrong before.
There was back and forth banter between the two of them. Techno had tried to show the gang his bees and tried to make a run for it.
"Techno!"
"Hey!"
"He's running!"
The gang started running towards him, but instead of continuing he stopped and turned to them. You were trailing behind trying to catch up to them, you kept running after them. You were not equipped for this night, you didn't know Ghostbur was going to bring you out in the open cold. You could hear Ghostbur behind you as you continued to run towards them.
"Y/N you're gonna damage yourself!" Ghostbur's voice became more echoed and further away as you tried to get closer to the gang before they got killed.
"There's no other way."
"Tubbo dont be stupid!" You were right behind the Butcher Gang.
"There's no other way!"
Fuck
"I CHOSE BLOOD!"
A cloud of smoke enveloped the 6 of you and you suddenly could see. You could only see the glint of everyone's armor.
"Y/N get behind us!" Tubbo tried to blocked you off from reaching Technoblade.
"Why didn't you bring any armor?!" Quackity yelled.
"I didn't think i was gonna be fucking out here!"
Technoblade must've set off multiple smoke bombs because the smoke wouldn't stop, the smoke made you woozy, but the others didnt seemed phased by it at all and kept fighting Technoblade. Your lungs felt full, and you felt like passing out, but you wouldn't allow yourself to do so.
"Tubbo stop this!" You yelled out when the smoke cleared a little.
"No! He needs to pay!" He said while fighting with Fundy.
The air was still hazy and you lost sight of people occasionally. Whipping your head around you were met with what felt like the butt of a axe. You quickly saw a split second of a shiny axe and then a pain in your chest spiked up. You double back and tried to recover, but then you've been sliced in the thigh and a deep cut in your side taking you down to the ground. You were bleeding out and desperately trying to heal the wound in your side. You felt your consciousness slowly slip from you as you laid on the snow. The warm contrast of your blood compared to the cold snow was sad. You always get hurt, no matter what you do. It's inevitable, and you finally gotten used to it.
The last thing you heard was yelling, but it slowly faded out.
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You were warm, and not in the middle of nowhere anymore. You opened your eyes to see yourself staring at a polished wood ceiling, the soft pillows and blankets around you made everything feel so much better. Your whole body hurts, you dont want to move nor do you want to remember. Thank goodness that someone had patched you up, you didn't want to die. You tried shifting your body but the pain in your side was denying any movement.
"Oh! You're awake thank God!" A voice called out from your side. You looked over to see the half human hafl enderman sitting in a chair by a window. "I thought you weren't gonna wake up! Tubbo and the rest if the cabinet was worried as well."
"Were you the one who patched me up?" You asked carefully.
"Yeah! Luckily I can see in that fog, so I took you away and patched you up." Ranboo smiled.
"Who- who hit me?" You asked trying to sit up again.
Ranboo paused. "Technoblade." Ranboo said in a somber tone.
"I see." You sighed.
Ranboo helped you sit back on the headboard of the bed and you two continued to talk.
"Are you mad at him?"
"Im just upset. Its okay, he said he'll kill all of us so I knew he would." You kept your gaze at you lap.
"Yeah I get it." Ranboo replied.
"I have a question ranboo!" You perked up.
"Yeah? Shoot."
"Why did you join the Butcher Gang?" You asked the taller man. He stayed silent thinking of a right answer before actually speaking.
"They were nice to me. I trust people who are nice to me, that show me kindness and treat me with respect. I know its lame, my answer isn't fully fleshed out, but that's the reason." Ranboo shrugged and you nodded.
You would love to know Ranboo more, he seems like a great guy, but he's just lost.
"Oh! I forgot! You have a letter!" Ranboo walked around the bed and brought out a folded piece of paper and handed it to you.
You unfolded it and began to read.
𝘔𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦
𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶
- 𝘋
"Execution site?" You looked towards Ranboo.
"Oh yeah! Technoblade's execution is today an-"
"How the hell did you get him?!" You interrupted him. "Im sorry."
Ranboo looked shocked before composing himself. "Dont worry! Well, we took his horse hostage and he immediately wanted to surrender if we didn't let Carl go." Ranboo gathered stuff around the room. "And the execution is today, happening in a few minutes and I need to be there. I'll be back soon to check up on you!"
You nodded and continued to listen to him.
"Are- are you coming?" Ranboo sent one last glance towards you before making his way out.
"You know you dont HAVE to go." You said trying to ease the tension.
"I know. I really do know." He sighed. "Are you sure you dont want to?"
"No, Im okay." You sent him a smile.
You had lied again. Of course you didn't want to see Technoblade get killed, but that note that was left made you go to the cave. You trudged you way up to said cave, even though the pain in your side was unbearable you continued on. Once you had gotton up to the cave, you peaked inside cautiously. You saw a man in a cloak with a familiar mask on with Technoblade's horse. You knew it was Dream.
"Hello."
"Hello Dream."
"I will cut right to the chase. Take Carl and wait here. I have other work to do." He handed you the reigns to Carl and started to leave.
"Excuse me!? What do I do? Why do I wait here?!" You yelled after him and he just waved you off.
You rolled your eyes and found a stone in the cave to rest against with Carl's reigns lazily in your hands.
You didnt know what time it was, but the sun was slowly going down, it wasn't particularly sunset, but you knew it was late. Your eyes began to close until your heard screaming in the distance. You sat up slowly, now fully alert. You held Carl's reigns tighter as you backed into the cave more and more.
Footsteps were heard in the distance coming up to the cave and you thought if Dream had set you up for failure. The footsteps grew louder until a panting Technoblade appeared at the entrance at the cave. He looked horrible, he was thinking the same thing about you.
You two exchanged no words. You didn't want to say anything, what would you even say? He rushed over to Carl and started petting him. "Carl you're okay!"
You hummed as you and Techno shared a glance. He smiled at you. He smiled at you. It's been so long since you've seen him smile. He didn't need words to communicate, his eyes and smile said enough. You matched his smile and gave him a knowing nod and he did the same.
"Feel better eh?" Technoblade started conversation.
"Not really. What about you?"
"Eh- used a totem of undying just now."
"What?! Really?" You exclaimed. "I guess that's why you're here now huh?"
"Yeah I'll tell you about it sometimes." He smiled and climbed atop of his horse and you could see him thinking. "Im sorry too. You almost died cause of me. Thats is unacceptable, I shouldn't- I shouldn't have attacked you. I couldn't-"
"You cant control it. It's gonna take me awhile to recover, but..." You touched your bandaged cut. "It'll take me some time."
Technoblade nodded knowing what you meant. He could always read your mind somehow, thats what made you two work. Knowing eachother. He sent you one last silent goodbye before riding out of the cave. You knew that trust was somewhat restored, and that you two were better than before. This might be a new beginning.
A very angry Quackity came running around the corner of the cave and spotted you leaving. He whipped his head around to you.
"Hey! Where the fuck is Techno?!" He yelled at you.
"I don't know-"
"Dont bullshit me!"
"I. Don't. Know." You said more sternly. He gave you a hard glare before running away.
You went the opposite way trying to make it back to the room you woke up in before Ranboo came back.
Earlier you were desperately trying to befriend Techno, but things come more naturally you learned. You cant rush things, nor control this world. Things will fall into place, your and Technoblade's friendship will blossom again.
You will never find peace, but that's okay. You should be used to it by now. Everything is chaotic, but everything will be okay.
224 notes · View notes
one-real-imonkey · 3 years
Note
Mhmmmmmmm, prompts you say? How about......the commander batch end up in the past with the TM except they were all doing something (one was sleeping, the other was unconscious, one was doing reports, one in the middle of a battle, heck, if you include Fox he could have been having a 'meeting (free interpretation) with Palpatine! Maybe the end up as teenagers! Who knows!
In strike bc I haven't seen you write a lot about clones sooooo....yeah, feel fre to ignore this!
Oh the clones my boys!!!!!!
They deserve love and affection and absolutely I’ll write for them. I’m rubbing my hands together and cackling like a super villain. 
They’re all their natural ages, as if they bandy been aged in advance.
———
They’d shown up a mile out from Jasters camp, discovered by a patrol.
Six boys, young boys, some armed, some injured, all almost identical to his ad.
Five of them were, if he had to guess, quintuplets, about 13, while the youngest looked about two or three years younger than them, his Jango’s age.
They were brought to the med tent, and Jaster called at the same time. He met them at the edge of the camp, let the little ones introduce themselves as they walked towards the tent.
Cody, the first introduced himself as, and Jaster noted the scar curling down the side of his face. Then Wolffe who was missing an eye, Ponds who was both bald and injured, Bly with yellow facial tattoos and Fox, who had no definable features Jaster could tell, but more hunched shoulders and bags under his eyes. And the youngest, Rex, with shaved blond hair.
They were not normal ade. The way they walked, watched each other’s sixes, the way their eyes scanned every inch of every room and how Rex’ika was kept to the middle of their group as they were escorted to the med tent. They moved like experienced soldiers, not a group of scared ade.
He stays to the side as they’re checked over, and though they’re obviously not sure where they are or whether to trust Jaster, they clearly want answers, and to compare notes.
“It has to be Force nonsense,” one of them, Wolffe, was saying, “how else could we have travelled so far in the blink of an eye. I’ll admit, it was a shock to go from a firefight to suddenly being alone with you all.”
“A blink of your eye,” Ponds threw back while the baar’ur bandaged his head wound, “I was unconscious and only woke up because you were yelling.”
“I nearly shot Wolffe, I’d been in a fight too.” It was concerning that Bly and Wolffe had both been in firefights, firefights, they were ade!
“Rex was asleep.” Cody chipped in, smirking slightly at the embarrassed and annoyed look that flashed across his vod’ikas face.
“Hey, I'd been awake for over a day, and so had you, so you're the one the medics would be angry at. He was doing his reports, because everyone would simply die if he waited until the morning.”
The baar’ur laughed softly, partly for the teasing and partly to lighten the mood with such awful things being insinuated by their comments, and gestured Jaster over, signalling that they were pretty much done, except for Fox’ika, who’s eyes they were checking having noticed his clear headache.
“It’s fine, baar’ur, you don’t need to worry about my headache.”
“Ad...”
“Nyac. It almost always comes after meetings with our... with our boss, it’s just stress and tiredness, I'm fine.”
Those words were oh so concerning coming from such a small child, and he could see the same concern not only on the face of his baar’ur, but also Fox’ika’s vode. He doubted boss was the right word for the person this ad’ika had been meeting. Not with the comments they’d been making, the way they stood and sat and walked.
Still, the baar’ur backed off.
“So, ade, now that you’ve been treated, I think we need to talk.”
“Yeah.” Cody, Jaster was starting to think he was their leader. “We should. Like why you keep looking at Rex.”
Had he been? The ad looked so similar to Jango, really, it was just the hair. Still, they all looked so very concerned to have any focus on their vod’ika, and he needed to be careful about that. The last thing he wanted to do was upset or scare them.
“To start with, it’s good to meet you all, my name is Jaster Mereel...”
The tent flaps opened and as if summoned his ad’ika slipped in,
“And this is my ad, Jango Fett.”
There was a second of silence, then a flurry of hand signs, before stressed little Fox swore, colourfully.
“Language!”
In another situation he might have slapped a hand over his mouth in shock of what he’d just said. He hadn’t meant to say it, but they all looked and sounded so similar to his ad, it had just slipped out.
And now they were all staring at him incredulously.
Jango looked half way between astonished at the language and annoyingly like he planned on using it.
He could imagine the ribbing he was going to get, how that conversation would go. 
‘So Jaster how was your day.’ 
‘Oh fine,’ he’d reply, ‘ except that a bunch of stressed and battle worn ade appearing from thin air who look identical to my ad who taught him a whole new library of swears to use.’
He wasn’t too surprised that seeing Jango had shaken something in them, but their story soon slipped out. Time travel, war, messed up ageing. Children sent into war, whether they were physically adults or not, it was horrific, and more so when you could see them like this.
Now they were their real ages, the ages they would be without the enhanced ageing. 
They were warriors and soldiers who’d seen the most brutal of war and death, and they were ade who deserved love and affection and so many other things they’d so clearly received from each other and none others as they’d grown up too fast.
These ade had been raised by demagolka and monsters, and his Jan’ika had been a part of it. Not intentionally, one of them had said, at least, they didn’t think so. Most of them had never even met him, and the one who had, Cody, claimed it had only been once. It was not a path he planned on letting his ad walk again, willingly or not.
It was no burden to adopt them, to claim them as his own and swear he’d give them a better childhood than they’d had. The biggest argument was over combat, because they were soldiers, and they wanted to fight, but Ka’ra they were so young. The quintuplets, they were only just 13, and when they were a little more adjusted and settled, they could start taking small missions, with adults and supervision. Rex’ika would have to wait, he was just too small. He and Jango could start at the same time, not before.
He would have been Demagolka to decide otherwise.
No child should look so grateful to be told they were wanted, that they had a home and loving aliit. No ad should look so disbelieving. 
Jango looked over the moon to have new vode, as Jaster had predicted, worming his way into their little group and cuddling in. It was cute, and clearly none of them were capable of denying a vod’ika, even if he wasn’t one of the ones they knew.
Jaster isn’t surprised by the way Jan’ika looks at Rex, not only could they be twins, but Rex has the hair he knows Arla had, and though wary and watchful of both Jango and the rest of the tent, and likely anything they could hear happening outside of it, they were happy to hold Jan’ika too.
Jaster’s aliit had just grown larger, but he couldn’t complain. It would be a journey and a challenge, their horrific pasts creating problems he likely couldn’t even foresee yet, but he couldn’t regret it.
And he knew they’d be adored and protected by his people too.
———
Thanks for promoting, I loved it. They all deserve better. I wanted to add something where they saw Jango and assumed he was another Vod who’d traveled, maybe part of Rex’s old batch before they were decommissioned and his moved to their group, but I couldn’t fit it in. But this worked well too.
Also absolutely Palpabastard was messing with Fox.
Thanks for reading.
Inbox still open, prompts or headcanons or asks. (-:
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liyazaki · 2 years
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thank you to @spicyvampire @sunsetandthemoon @nattawins @ohaewpanwa @praninlove for the tag 🥰 it's been awhile since I've done this one, but I'll try to give different answers this time anyway.
1. your all time favorite bl and why: the ITSAYverse- ITSAY, LTIP & IPYTM (everyone act shocked). This story put my heart, throat and soul in a vice grip from the first viewing and hasn't let me go since. I'm feeling saucy today, so here's a hot take: if I had to choose one (which is impossible), it'd be IPYTM.
Hear that? It's the cacophony of anons raging in my inbox already...
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2. that one bl that scarred you for life: the mere mention of Theory of Love makes my blood pressure spike to this day, and absolutely everything in FUTS aside from my chaos sons made me want to throw something. Anything. EVERYTHING.
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3. bl that made you feel very single: UWMA/DeanPharm. They're so soft, so healthy and OhmFluke's insane talent combined with their IRL deep friendship/love for each other resulted in a kind of magic that constantly made me feel like I was intruding on their moment.
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4. if you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be? apparently we're not done with don't-come-for-me time: the ending of Bad Buddy. You can find my reasoning/me crying about it here.
5. your top five:
The ITSAYverse (I count all three as one because they're inseparable in my mind, plus I'm just greedy)
Until We Meet Again
Gameboys
Cherry Magic
Bad Buddy
honorable mentions: Gaya Sa Pelikula, Absolute BL (it's more parody than actual BL) and Life: Love On the Line (director's cut) is INCREDIBLE.
6. that trashy bl that you lowkey like: 2Moons2 is the lowest-stakes, tropiest little drama and the production/company behind it are beyond cursed, but I adore it. EDIT: @flukenatouch reminded me via her post about the currently-airing hot mess express that is Rainbow Prince (it’s so bad, it’s good). Also, TharnType is 500 kinds of problematic but MewGulf's chemistry could melt paint off walls, so.
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7. your favorite korean bl (it’s important we know): Light on Me Light on Me LIGHT ON MEEEE. I might like it *just* a little. Like a smidge.
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8. but also your top 3 for kbls: besides LOM, the only other K-BL's I'm a big fan of are To My Star and A First Love Story (a two-part short that might get made into a movie, last I heard).
Not mentioning the popular ones I'm decidedly not a fan of because I've had my neck out this whole post already- I (mostly) like being alive and would like to stay that way.
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9. season 2? which one? once again, I scream: Light on Me Light on Me LIGHT ON MEEEE.
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Honorable mention is one we're actually GETTING: Absolute BL S2 (screaming crying throwing UP) 😭 I'm SO excited for this one, I'm basically in distress every time I think about it.
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10. a bunch of dramas will air soon. which ones are you the most excited for? talk about being spoiled for choice- I'm going to stick to just show names, with my highly-anticipated ones in red:
Absolute BL S2
Cherry Magic: The Movie
Oh! My Sunshine Night
Between Us (fingers crossed it gets a 2022 release)
To My Star S2
Cutie Pie
Gap (GL)
Moonlight Chicken
609 Bedtime Story
Eclipse
Kinnporsche
11. tagging my Discord/core crew (who haven't already done this- maybe?) + some new lovely moots (insert usual only-if-you-feel-like-it disclaimer here): @flukenatouch @badprophetvx @shortpplfedup @bengiyo @elnotwoods @gilly-bean @kyr-kun-chan @gramblacks @rose-nebulijia @icouldhyperfixatehim @pranpat @jemmo @lovelikegravity
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sunpopp · 3 years
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Warm to The Touch | {CCH}
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→ Summary; it's not often that Chanhee gets sick, but when he does, he's a very big crybaby about it. That, or he really is in as much pain as he says he is—regardless that leaves you to take care of him, and funnily enough, it has its perks.
• WC/genre: 2K of smut + fluff
• Includes/cw: Chanhee being sick and reader taking care of him, no kissies on lips 😔, sub!Chanhee, gn!reader, fingering (m receiving), dick neglection (?), handjobs, brief praise, aftercare
Riding the bus wasn't your favorite thing to do, but it was soothing if you were in the right mood.
Sadly, you weren't. Mostly due to the fact that Chanhee was quite literally blowing up your phone with texts asking how much longer it'd take you to be off the train and on your way with his precious medicine, making you sigh and roll your eyes before shooting him a reply that you'd be there soon, but knowing nothing would calm him down until you were in front of him to prove it.
You can't help but smile.
Chanhee didn't complain much about anything, besides maybe you not helping him with washing the dishes or set the table while he made dinner, but everything else was, at most, a dirty look that softened relatively quickly. Sickness, though, was a whole other ballgame.
He would rant and rave about the tiniest of phantom pains, practically on the male equivalent of his period with the way his mood would get snappy and sour at the slightest inconveniences.
But maybe he really did just have a shit pain tolerance like he'd often hint at. Though it didn't stop you from still being baffled when he'd get a bad cramp in the middle of the night and whine about it until he'd fall asleep again.
Coming back to reality as you glance up to the bus's nearing destination, you stretch lazily and begin to stand, muscles aching from walking all day and back cracking loud enough for you to wonder if other people heard it. The bus slows to a stop before finally lurching against the sidewalk, and you take your leave through the opening doors with an appreciative thanks to the driver.
Almost immediately after you hop down from the steps, a layering of chilly wind washes harshly against your front and the familiar smell of petrichor into your nose, relentless rain droplets against your coat as you begin in a jog in the direction of your apartment. Chanhee must be freezing right now, you think, concern growing even heavier at the visible breaths of air you let out. If he's already got the sniffles, a sore throat, and headaches, he's probably getting worse considering you'd forgotten to turn the heater on before you left.
Stupid mistake.
It takes maybe a couple more minutes, less than it'd take if you were walking like normal, before you're finally at your door, punching in the code for the lock before shouldering it open and kicking off your shoes on the shoe rack. It's cold inside, you can tell by the way your cheeks still feel numb.
"Chanhee! I got your medicine!" Your words echo throughout the hall, spreading out when you keep calling his name as you move farther in; past the open kitchen and to the bedroom door opposite the bathroom.
When you come into the room, Chanhee is still in the bed where he was when you left, but this time, he's sat up, looking at you with hooded eyes and a thin sheen of sweat covering his face. He frowns, "It's about time. While I was here suffering, you were out with your friends. Unbelievable..," he pouts and shakes his head.
With a chuckle and now eased posture, you sit in front of him and set the bag of medicine beside you to check his temperature. He's extremely hot.
"Yeah, well, staying around you while you're sick is enough to drive me crazy so you can't really pin the blame on me for needing to leave. Plus, it's not like you tried to stop me, did you?" You smile at him, standing back up to go run him a lukewarm bath.
"I was asleep!"
"Your problem, not mine!"
___
"Alright, up you go."
"Ah, but my whole body hurts..."
"Too bad, you're sweating a bunch and you haven't done anything to clean yourself yet."
Another tug of Chanhee's hands, and he's stumbling into your arms with a raspy groan at the jerky movement. You pat his back, pecking his damp forehead, then drag him to the bathroom.
"Can you undress yourself or do you need my help with everything?" You half-joke.
"Don't be rude, it's actually hard for me to do a lot of things," Chanhee utters bitterly, but he does manage to pull his shirt over his head, albeit with your help, as well as his pants and boxers before stepping into the water.
"Or maybe you're just fragile as hell and the smallest things have you bedridden for a week."
"Oh my god I'm gonna-"
"Hush, princess, you won't do anything," you find yourself laughing as you lower yourself to your knees beside the tub, folding your arms on the side before resting your cheek atop them, "Just relax, okay? I know you're too tired to argue right now, so let yourself calm down for a couple."
He thankfully doesn't protest, and takes your advice for once; letting himself fall against the back of the bathtub and close his eyes, the sigh through his nose an indication that he's allowing himself to enjoy the water. He looks so peaceful like this. Doll-like eyelashes fluttering against smooth, heated cheeks, and head slowly lolling to face you.
You feel yourself reach out. You know it's happening, but you don't stop it when you run a hand through Chanhee's bangs, then swipe a thumb past his eyelid to trail to his nose, then lips.
He opens his eyes, but doesn't say anything, even if he probably finds it strange. He lets you touch him.
"You're very pretty," you mumble whilst pouring water onto his head using the wash bucket on the back surface of the bathtub. Drops trickle down into mini patterns on his face, and he drags a hand over it to clear them away.
"Even while sick?" He raises his eyebrows, pleasantly surprised at your answer.
You comb the water into his hair to wet it as you nod, "Even while sick."
Chanhee smiles, "So, how was your day out?"
"It was nice. Found a perfect place where I'd love to take you, actually."
"Oh? Where?"
"The bone zone-"
"Oh my god, you're so annoying!"
You erupt into a fit of laughter as Chanhee swats a hand at you, getting some of your shirt and arm wet where you shield yourself from his little attack. You pinch his cheek, flashing a toothy grin, "Oh, come on! That was a good one and you know it. Smooth as ever if I do say so myself."
"Yeah, and you're the only one saying so," He pouts, pulling away from your pinchy fingers and trying his best to hide the steadily growing smirk that threatens to break his face into a smile. Stubborn as always, you see.
"You can leave now," Chanhee gives you a pointed look.
"Alright, alright. I'll be in the bedroom awaiting any further commands, your highness," You shake your head, and make a grand display of leaving the room and him to his own privacy.
Chanhee doesn't take long in the bath anyway, so you knew you wouldn't have to wait long as you fall back against the bed, shifting around until you've made yourself comfortable against the strewn navy covers. You spare a glance out the window pressed against your side; still raining, and still bathed in a silver glow from the blanketing clouds. It'd make you kind of sad, if not melancholic, but you were in a good mood from coming home, so at the most, you were calm.
Calm, even when Chanhee emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam a half hour later, only wearing a pink striped button up pajama shirt and matching bottoms, hands raised above his head whilst he dries his hair with a small towel. He comes to a stop in front of you.
"There he is," you exclaim, looking up from your phone and patting the spot next to you with a mischievous glint in your eye, "C'mere."
"I wonder why I'm hesitating," he says, and you can practically feel the the sarcasm in his words.
"Because hot people make you nervous? Duh."
"Are you insinuating that you're hot?"
That's your queue.
Leaning forward, you grab Chanhee's wrist and tug him into your chest, causing him to stumble slightly, but you catch him and pull him flush against you. A flurry of kisses to his face, excluding his lips, ensue.
Chanhee squirms around in your arms and acts like he doesn't like the affection at first, but a few more seconds of the same treatment prove true to his soft side when he goes limp and begins to giggle at the ticklish feel of your butterfly pecks.
Oh, that giggle. How you loved to hear it; sweet and beautiful like the chime of the prettiest bell in your ears.
You pull him on top of you as you relax against the crevice where the mattress meets the wall, and rest your cheek on the top of his head, humming, "You saying that I'm not hot?"
"Yes."
"Damn."
"Kidding."
"No you weren't."
"Yes I was."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"You- Hush!" Chanhee covers your mouth finally and you chuckle against his palm at his feeble attempt to silence you.
You press a kiss to it instead of bickering further, causing him to soften. Just then, you realize something as you touch down his wrist.
"Woah, has your fever not died down at all? You're even starting to sweat a little bit again, too..."
Your suspicions prove true when a closer inspection at the ruddy skin flushed from his cheeks down to his chest and heavier-than-normal breathing indicates that he's still hot, or at least overheated.
"Here," you murmur, already shifting him on his back so you can easily unclasp the buttons of his shirt, "Are you in any pain or is it still just the sore throat?"
"The headache I had earlier is starting to come back. It's getting worse, but that's about it so don't worry, I'll be fine," Chanhee tries his hand at reassurance, you can tell, but it doesn't do anything to stop you from crawling over him to scurry into the kitchen.
"I'm getting you some water, hang on!" You call out from down the hall, making quick work of filling up a decently sized glass before you return to him with some painkillers as well. He barely manages to sit up when you reach him; his face scrunching at the obvious pain that's beginning to hit him tenfold as he gratefully takes the pills and throws his head back when he tosses them in his mouth, chasing them with the cold glass of water you provided.
"Ah, it's actually really starting to hurt...," Chanhee whimpers and at the sound, you slide back into the bed to pepper his face with pecks once again. He's grateful for the comfort, if the way he gently drapes his arm over your shoulder says anything.
"Oh, my poor baby," you coo lowly, feeling the goosebumps on his back that prickle at your tone, "Is there anything I can do to make it better? Did you already take your medicine?"
"Yeah.. still hurts.."
"I can tell," you snort and trail a finger down Chanhee's sternum, looping it back up to flick at one of his nipples. He jolts, and you can't help but give a cheeky smirk, "Even your nipples have taken on somewhat of a hue. I wonder what other places are doing the same thing...," your words would hold suggestion to even the most clueless of people, spoken through lips now slicked with saliva as you roll your tongue across the tinted flesh and lower your head for a taste of his exposed breast.
"Ah!" Chanhee gasps loudly and his fingers find purchase on the back of your head, his body trembling when he arches his chest up into your face, searching for more when his mouth fails to ask you such a favor.
Teasing his nipple with a gentle nip before pulling away to kiss it instead, you caress his narrow waist, "You said it hurts, no?"
"It does...," Chanhee pants and nods as fast as his throbbing head will allow him.
"Where does it hurt most, baby? Tell me," You wet your fingers with a quick swipe of your tongue then reach under his lower half to slide your hand into his shorts, Chanhee helping you by taking one leg out, and glide down the seam of his ass to tease his rim, "Here?"
"Y-yes..!" you chuckle when he huffs and flings both arms around your head, pulling you close into him and meeting your forehead as he grinds down against your digits.
"Awe, look at you..."
And look at him indeed; Chanhee is already a mess before you. Staring at you with those big watery doe eyes of his, and silently pleading for you to continue doing things to his body that has him feeling like bursting.
You give him exactly what he wants.
Pushing your finger into him, slowly due to how tight the fit is, you press sloppy kisses to the underside of his jaw. The reaction Chanhee gives is a familiar one, with sensual lips dropped open to let out a high-pitched moan and legs trembling as he holds them open for you, fighting to not shut his eyes upon feeling you enter him.
"Good," you drawl, tilting your wrist at an angle once your index and pinkie meet the backs of Chanhee's thighs and gently curling your fingers upwards, "Just like that, baby. Is this okay? Are you okay?" Your eyes search his face for discomfort, and though you don't find any, you still your movements.
He nods and nuzzles against the top of your head with his cheek, "Mm-hm. Keep going, please."
You start back up at his polite request, as much as you love hearing him ask for more of something, and begin to drag the pads of your fingers back and fourth alongside his walls until you feel the telltale firmness of his prostate, then start on massaging it.
"Ah!" He emits a short, melodical whine at the burst of sensation now seething within him. It drives him one step from crazy as he scrunches his face and unconsciously slaps at your shoulder in a sort of mid-euphoria result.
You huff out a half-laugh, sitting back on your knees so you can get a better view of what you're doing, "Good?"
Chanhee tries to use his words, but by the way you pin him down to the bed with a palm flat against his collarbone before speeding up your hand, he can only manage a broken sob. It's followed by another of the same needy type, but this time, it's louder and causes your stomach to all but flip at the sound. Chanhee throws his head back, thrashing this way and that to somewhat get away from the overwhelming feeling, but also pushing down against it at the same time; all the while your hand keeps him in place.
"I'll take that as a yes," you jest, mostly to yourself because Chanhee sure isn't listening, then bend down slightly to finally turn your focus to his weeping cock. It's full-blooded from being hard for so long, angry red at the tip and jumping every once in a while, especially when you open your mouth to lick a strip from the base to the head.
"P-please I can't! You're gonna make me cum!" Chanhee rushes to sit up, but you push him back down as soon as he tries. He looks absolutely horrified at being so close already.
"And what's the problem with that?"
"I-I just- I don't want to disappoint you."
"Oh, baby," You take your hand from his chest in favor of jerking him off, which he all but chokes at, "It doesn't disappoint me at all. I find it very hot, actually."
"Plea-ease..! Oh!" Chanhee wails one final time before he lets go all over your hand.
It covers your knuckles, dripping white down the side of your thumb as you keep stroking him to help him ride it out. The orgasm must've hit him hard, you think when you look up to see Chanhee shuddering in time with the aftershocks that zap his body every few seconds, eyes closed and skin dewy with a sheen of perspiration.
"Hey, come back to me. You alright? Does your head still hurt?"
He takes a moment to open his eyes, but when they roll open and find your face, he does something that catches you off-guard. He latches himself onto your front, straddling your lap, and rests his head over your shoulder with a sigh.
"Chanhee, hang on a bit, my hand's still dirty and I need to clean you up-"
"In a second. I'm tired."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"Mm, I don't feel like talking right now."
"... You are such a handful."
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@vanillaknj @stealerhwa1
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babygirlkiki1016 · 3 years
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Masterlist
Prologue
Chapter 1: The Company
"Do you have to leave?" Lani asked as she handed me my bag, she was always the nervous one.
"Yes, it's important. Take care of things while I'm gone, I have faith in you Lani. I'll be back before you know it." Lani was like a younger sister to me, the one always hiding behind the older one. While I was going to be missing, I put her in charge of the kingdom. She knew how everything worked, she was always there next to me when I was taking care of business anyhow. Of course, after a few days of traveling to the shire I wanted to turn back to see if she was alright, but I knew I had to keep going. And eventually, I stood in front of the green door with a dwarven letter carved into it. Taking a deep breath I knocked, and the voices I had heard went quiet. It's just a bunch of dwarves, nothing to be worried about. The door opened to reveal a hobbit, not as tall as me but he was up to my shoulders.
"Uh, c-come in." He steps to the side, and I walked forward, they must've been expecting me. Setting my bag down by the front door, I took in everything. It was small and cozy, I wish my home looked like this. Continuing on I came across the thirteen dwarves Gandalf had mentioned.
"This is Y/n Y/l/n, I believed she could be a wonderful asset to our quest." The raven-haired man couldn't keep his eyes off me, it was like he was dazed, now that I think about it every dwarf's gaze was still on me. Including a young man about my height, maybe even taller. I smirked, hello handsome, my cheeks burned a shade of crimson as I realized my thought process. Gandalf nudged the man to get his attention, and he snaps out of his trance.
"My name is Thorin Oakenshield, it is a pleasure to meet you, my lady." He bowed his head slightly, giving me a small smile.
"You won't be saying that in a few seconds," I muttered, Gandalf swallowed nervously as he said his next words carefully.
"I should mention, that Y/n is also...The Queen of The Digonisks. The Soul Of The Black Dragon." Everyone's eyes widened, but no one said a word except the blond man in the back.
"What's a Digonisk?"
"There dragons, and murderers." Thorin glared at me with a fire in those blue orbs. I just rolled my eyes, of course, that's what he thought of me. Yet how could we be the murderers when their kind slaughtered mine? "I want her out, that filth cannot come on this quest with us."
"'That filth' has a name you know, and for your information, it's not really up to you now is it?" I exclaimed, he went to protest but Gandalf held out his hand to silence him.
"She can help us Thorin, she has the ability to take down Smaug. She might be the only one who can."
"I don't care." He abruptly stood, not even a foot away from me. "Leave, or I'll strike you down where you stand." Silently, I conjured a dagger and placed right against his side making him gasp.
"You'll be dead before you can even draw your sword, you should be thankful I came to help. I could've easily said no and let karma continue it's pace. Especially after what your kin did to us, you took my home, killed my people! Your no better than Smaug himself. Now sit." I forced him back into his chair, his hand gripped tightly on his blade. He wants to play does he? Bring it on.
"Enough!" Gandalf stood, making the room fill with darkness. "I brought her along, and so she shall stay, if you try to lay a hand on her I won't hesitate to lay one on you." He was furious, but as he sat back down the room turned back to normal. Each dwarf was scowling at me, except the two in the back. Right, they don't know the history between us.
"It was nice meeting you, your majesty." I bowed, and turned back towards the door. "I'll be outside, tell me when we're leaving."
"Wait! You haven't even heard about-" Gandalf stands but I raise my hand, silencing him. "At least stay and listen." I stopped, I already new of their quest, there was no reason for me to be in this room. And none of them probably didn't want me to stay anyhow.
"You can sit by us." The man in the back offered, patting the seat next to him with a smile. The other's hissed at him but he ignored their comments, making my way to the end of the table, I sit between him and the blond. Both were slightly blushing, and staring at me with those beautiful eyes though trying to make it less obvious. Thorin continues to eat his stew, making very little eye-contact with me.
"Perhaps we could do introductions? I still only know two of the people in this room."
"Right, that would be best." Gandalf agreed, and he pointed to each individual as he named them off. "Here you have Thorin, the leader of our company. Bofur, with his brothers Bomber and Bifur, then Dwalin, Balin, Gloin, Oin, Dori, Nori and Ori. Then last but not least the two next to you, Kili and Fili." None of them seemed happy, if looks could kill I would've been dead the moment Gandalf mentioned what I was. When Gandalf named off Kili, he winked at me while slightly smirking. I winked back making him look away embarrassed, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.
"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?" Balin asked, looking over at his king, who nods.
"Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms."
"And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hill say? Is Dain with us?" Dwalin asked, Thorin hesitated as he stated his answer.
"They will not come." The other dwarves become visibly upset, I decided that this might take awhile. So I played with the little flame that came from my finger, it didn't burn me for I was immune to fire. I was in my own mind, my own little world while humming a melody.
"Can she please leave?" I heard Thorin whisper, leaning closer to the wizard. "She does not belong here." Gandalf knew nothing would get done if I stayed, so he gives me a pleading look. Happily I left the table, and headed back outside, it felt nice out here. Sitting on the pavement I watched the stars, they were a lot farther away now. My kingdom was high up in the sky, higher than the mountain of Erebor. It's far above the clouds where no eye can see, Gandalf made it that way with the help of my mother's grimoire. He made what's called a floating island, only digonisks and wizards can enter. I heard the hobbit door open, and out came Kili with a bowl of food.
"Here." Kili smiled handing me a bowl of stew. "I thought you would be hungry, so I brought you some stew."
"I'm not eating that, especially not from a dwarf." He slowly brought it back to himself, he seemed upset for some reason.
"It's not poisoned if that's what your worried about." He muttered, sitting down next to me. "Here I can test taste it." He quickly took a bite, showing that it wasn't fatal. He handed it back to me with a look of hope.
"Thank you." I took it from him, and hesitantly took my first bite. It tasted delicious, even my people didn't have soup made like this. "Did you make this yourself?"
"Ah no, Bombur made it, mostly for us but I figured you were hungry." Well at least he had some manners, he's certainly more nicer than Thorin. "Don't worry about my uncle, he just, he told me why he hates your kind. Even though that happened, you weren't the one doing the killing."
"Of course he's already spreading rumours." Kili glanced over at me with curiosity. "How about you hear my side of the story. Believe which ever one you want, it won't matter." Cause soon my people will be set free, and each and everyone of you will be filled with guilt. "My kin aren't killers, the village of Hargen had been over run by orcs. We were the first ones to respond to the crisis, and we had driven out the enemy. Yet when the dwarves showed up, Thror believed it to be us who slaughtered them. That wasn't the case, blinded by rage he started rumours about us, saying we weren't peaceful and that we were murders. There already had been rumours, but that was mostly because Digonisks are extremely powerful. The people of Middle Earth knew that if we tried, we could over power them. When they started making rumours, they thought that we would go hide in the shadows. Yet we stilled stayed strong, and when that wasn't enough..." A single tear slipped down my cheek, the horror that occurred in that building was enough to make someone insane. I quickly wiped it away, I can't let him see me weak. "...The dwarves became the true monsters, them and mankind had invited us to the grand ball. I was only a child then, but I remember I was so excited to see the tiny men that roamed our world. Most of us had showed up, and when the doors closed the explosions started."
"...I'm sorry you went through that, but if you hate dwarves so much. Why come and help us?"
"There is something in that mountain that proves my kin is innocent. Reports from Thror himself about what really happened that day. And I intend to find it, so my people can be free once again. That's the main reason why Gandalf brought me here, he showed me a letter from Thrain. Explaining where to find the reports." He looked back to sky, wondering what to say next. I continued to eat my stew, and once I was finished he offered to take the bowl from me.
"Come back inside, surely if you explain to my uncle what's in that mountain he won't hate you as much." I hadn't thought of that, but what if he decides to go burn the papers before I get there? Though he seemed like a respectful man, and if we are going to be working together on this journey then he has to see me as an ally.
"Alright, might as well give it a try." He smiled and grabbed my hand dragging me along with him. "K-Kili wait!" He seemed more excited than I, as we passed each dwarf grimaced at the sight of me.
"Uncle!" Kili exclaimed catching Thorin's attention, he immediately separated our hands. Stepping infront of his nephew he pulled out his sword, pointing it at my neck.
"I suggest you put that thing away, wouldn't want a wizard and a Digonisk fighting you now do you? I have come to show you something, it might make this trip a whole lot easier." He didn't budge, reaching into my cloak I pulled out the same scroll Gandalf had brought me. Thorin slowly took it from my hands and undid the ribbon, his eyes widened in shock at his father's handwriting.
"How did you get this?" He looked back to me, he had hope that his father was alive.
"Gandalf gave it to me, it's the main reason I'm here." Thorin seemed to be more at ease with me in the room now. Did he actually believe his father's words?
"What does is say Thorin?" Balin asked coming closer, Thorin couldn't believe his eyes. Gradually he handed the scroll back to me, and all I saw was remorse in those blue orbs.
"It was written by my father, he says that in my grandfathers room the truth about her kind remain. The real reports about what happened that day in Hargen, if this is true then..." He couldn't finish his sentence, a thousand emotions appeared at once.
"This doesn't mean anything, it could be a lie. Those reports could show something different, but we still don't know if the evidence lies in the mountain." Dwalin interrupted, making the furious look on Thorin's face return. Well so much for that, Gandalf sighs in disappointment. Even he had hope that Thorin would be reasonable, I went to head back outside but Thorin grabs my arm.
"If your coming with us, then you have to sign the contract. I won't be responsible for your death, nor do I feel like dealing with a bunch of angry dragon slayers." Balin, kindly handed me a piece of paper, inside read the rules and what not. They would not be responsible for anything that happens to me, which was fine but if I were to die who would set my people free?
"I want to add something to this, if I am to go on this journey and I die. You must set my people free, get the reports from your grandfather's room and show everyone that my people are innocent. That is all I ask." He seemed shocked at my request, although I didn't want to trust him with this kind of task it was the only way my people would be safe after I'm gone.
"Get me a pen." He grumbled, using my magic I summoned an ethereal white feather. He watched as I wrote down my terms and signed it, then when I handed him the pen he couldn't help but stare at it. It glowed brightly in his hand, never had he seen something like this. After examining it he signed his name on the line, then handed the pen to Balin who signed it as a witness.
"Welcome, Queen Y/n to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." He smiled, that made me feel somewhat welcome. At least he has manners like Thorin's nephew, maybe all dwarves aren't so bad.
"Your welcome to stay inside, get as much sleep as you can. You'll need it for the journey ahead, I have a feeling we're going to be needing those wings of yours." Gandalf suggested but Kili and Fili perked up at his comment.
"Wings? She has wings?" Kili asked coming closer, taking off my cloak I spread them. "I didn't even realize the you could fly!"
"They look a lot smaller when folded, but yes I have wings. There easy to hide under a robe, and not very noticeable." He reached over to touch them, I flinched slightly as his fingers ran over the scales.
"May I?" Thorin asked with a light blush on his face, how could the king under the mountain have rosy cheeks? I nodded, watching him cautiously as he ran his hand over my skin. He let out a small smile as he stretched them farther to get a better look. "They're huge, how could they be so small when tucked away?" He muttered, but when he realized he was getting a little into this he stepped back. That stern look returning to his features. "Get some sleep." That was the last thing he said before walking away, at least he's somewhat warming up to me. I settled in the corner of the hobbit's house away from everyone else, surrounding myself with my wings to keep me warm. After a few minutes of silence, I heard voices again except this time it was the dwarves singing a song. "Far over the Misty Mountains cold. To dungeons deep and caverns old. We must away ere break of day. To find our long-forgotten gold." Thorin's voice was most audible, and for some reason, it soothed me.
"The pines were roaring on the height, the winds were moaning in the night. The fire was red, it flaming spread. The trees like torches blazed with light." I sang along, which made the dwarves silent. The song wasn't unknown to me, everyone outside of the shire knew the story of Erebor. After a moment they sang along after I joined, but softer than before. Maybe because they loved my voice? Or maybe my voice soothed Thorin and he wanted to hear more, as he reassured me.
@fili-is-my-lover @lunariasilver @kirenia15
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appledotcodotuk · 3 years
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why the hive fckin suck at its job: a rant
spoilers for tgwdlm ahead!
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first of all, it's important to consider what exactly the hive's job is. my answer is... who the fuck knows. literally. what is the hive's aim. what do you want Paul? more like, what do you want hive? let's find out!
it kinda evolves, as the play progresses. the intial aim of the hive, and one that does actually remain consistent is the constant burning need to grow and devour and gain more and more (insert capitalism metaphor here).
however, this is distorted by the people it possess who influence that aim, as we'll see later.
also the fact it crashes into a theatre displaying Mamma Mia gives the hive the motive it need to fit the world around it to the structure of the musical. having no originality of its own, the hive instead just picks up what is given to it. kinda like an evil baby.
it wants uniformity, that is indeed its ultimate goal and desire, no duh. it thinks it can achieve that through musical theatre, shame that the hive is dead wrong. cause the hive fucking sucks at its own job / aim / ultimate purpose / one concrete goal that motivates all its actions.
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can't maintain control over its subjects
okay, so, the hive wants uniformity. it wants everyone to be dancing to the beat of its own tune. right? yeah. shame it literally can't keep its own possessed subjects in line at all. at the risk of sounding like the 10th doctor waxing lyrical abt humanity for the 50th time, humans are really difficult to control cause we're not really motivated by an altruistic allegiance to one primary good. we've got icky emotions that often move us to do stupid unpredictable stuff way more. it makes me wonder if the reason the hive wanted to use musical theatre to try and persuade ppl was cause it seems to think that is how theyll get emotive humans; through emotive songs. anyways. let's look at some examples shall weeeee?
Mr Davidson:
so, Mr Davidson. funnily enough, he's the guy whose in part acting as the hive trying to figure out what it wants through his interactions w/ Paul. every person it possess gives it just a bit more humanity and curiosity abt the world it is currently taking over. at least I think so. hence why as the musical develops u get character's like possessed!Alice wondering 'why does it hurt to love?' - the change in music and mood to something much more introspective really suggests to me that the hive is beginning to question the thoughts and emotions of its human hosts.
Mr Davidson is a family man through and through, he loves his wife Carol. she's his muse, his source of light. his feelings for her are not concrete or easy to explain and solve - hence why his sudden ahem demand of her is so hilarious and also jarring. it completely clashes with the 'I want song' which is simple, and often pushes forward a wider cause. not so with Mr Davidson, he just really loves his wife man. enough to break a frickin alien possession.
tbh I think its hilarious that (at least to me) the hive has to force him to forget and continue with the song, like, he straight up is just talking to his wife in that phone call, talking, not singing. so, no possession until he reverts back into song. ergo, the hive cannot maintain the uniformity it wants. even from the get go when theoretically its control should be stronger cause it has less ppl to co-ordinate. bad. at. its. job.
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Paul:
this one hurts folks. yes, I know it's generally agreed, though somewhat debated that the state of Paul by the end of the tgwdlm is not purely possessed. I agree. once again, the hive is unable to truly enforce uniformity.
at this point, the motives of Paul and the hive are kinda just mixed, neither fully human nor fully alien. hence the constant shifts between pleeing for her to get away, to hide, to stay safe: 'what if the only choice is you have to sing to survive' and just full on old style hive nastiness 'let me puke in your mouth and just open your food bin girl' (so romantic 🥰 /j).
the hive has gone away from its original aim, and become something... different. no longer stuck to just one type of genre or style of song, it's really clever to show the developing complexity of the hive by showing how it is now juggling lots of different motifs with references to all the old songs from before recontextualised in a new way - its learning. evil baby... no longer uniform.
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general miscommunication:
there are several instances of the hive not fully having uniform control over its subjects. for instance, right after not your seed with the three teens having to like... calibrate. they aren't just completely connected then?? also, this is a very small thing, but uhhhh at the end of inevitable when Paul is about to say the apotheosis is upon... the chorus interrupts him with USSSSSSS. interruptions??? not very in sync of u hive.
I think this inability to exert uniformity is also shown in the contrast between genre of musical theatre. my alien abomination cannot decide whether it wants to be the more modern edgy rock musical (join us (and die), not your seed ) or super happy go lucky old style musical theatre (lah dee dah dah day, and inevitable). it tries to do both, even while trying to encourage union, and sticking to one thing. hypocrite!!!!!
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2. aims are guided by the people it possess
so, I mentioned this a bit already, but the hive isn't only mutating the humans, the humans are mutating the hive right back. this is more an interesting observation than any actual analysis but let's goooo.
greenpeace girl:
I think it's very likely that greenpeace girl is one of the first to be possessed. This is probably easily debunkable but whatever this analysis is flying by the seat or its pants anywayyyyy. why? cause where else would it pick up that whole 'this planet needs fixing' thing? it's interesting too, cause it morphs from expressing the desire to join hands and sing together, unity and peace with no actual action behind it. this then goes right to the other end, with the hive going 'fine I'll do it myself' and trying to save things by enforcing a dictatorship on the world. it develops and changes, and strays from its original means of accomplishing its aims! speaking oooooof...
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3. inconsistent in means of accomplishing aims
okay, ur an evil hive mind. u think musicals are the way to win over these silly humans cause they're all weak and emotive and seem to respond to them. but, wait! schwoopsie! you haven't realised that for emotional depth and growth to mean anything, you need there to be established development and well... growth. otherwise the sentiments are as vague as the ones expressed in What Do You Want, Paul?
this show has genuine emotional moments, just not really during the musical numbers WITH EXCEPTIONS. any strife is smoothed over quickly, and so the development and change that would have to go into such growth is just gone. (see, You Tied Up My Heart) all so it can achieve its own desire to grow and grow and grow, maybe a metaphor for art being killed under late stage capitalism??
what actually matters is the impact the songs have afterwards, in causing a death - because we have a bond and care abt these characters. those short scenes between Paul and Emma are actually way more resonant than any song. except... inevitable, and also not your seed a bit. at this point the hive has learnt a thing or two, and can actually twist human emotion a little. but for it to do that, it has to reject the uniformity it prizes, and be adaptable. point towards being more human than it first thought? methinks so. and yet it's just not enough...
it's also why let it out, to me, feels really ingenuine. Paul has expressed himself in much better ways already. what they're doing is clearly paining him, and hurting the guy. he's terrified bless.
you can't force someone into being emotional vulnerable, man.
it's why all the deaths for the characters who are forced to express themselves are really violent, involving them being ripped open - literally forcing them to expose themselves from the 'inside out' as Alice reflects in Not Your Seed. you can't force genuine emotional connection, it has to be fostered, shown in the much more affecting relationship of Paul and Emma. the only reason the hive actually has power over our characters is because of these genuine emotional connections, which it tries and often fails to take advantage of, resulting in just resorting to brute violence. messy hive, very messy.
at the core, the musical's a kinda attack on that toxic positivity mindst: trying to force people to reach the sort of easy solutions by sharing feelings in a way that feels pretty invasive and deciding you are instantly fixed. the problems these characters face are jarringly not really what you'd expect a character in a musical to face, cheating, a lot of it, mid-life crisis. problems that are bland, or wayyyy too real. this is purposefully done, to reveal just how silly the hive's aim to use musical theatre to solve everyone's problem is. life is more complex than that smh.
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4. a human can write a much more expressive, and genuine song than they ever could lol
u know which song I'm talking abt. what more is there to say. so much for making persuasive songs to tempt people over.
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5. make me sad cause they took some perfectly nice ppl and funked them up 😭
this was a stupid point lol. basically I'm just bitter that this hive took a bunch of perfectly okay ppl and gave them hive brain. screw u hive. I swear I'm gonna watch Black Friday soon, cause I'm sure it's gonna completely destroy every thought I've had so far, but whateve,,, just take this as a look at tgwdlm like it's a stand-alone piece.
these guys are supposed to all be 'individuals' on one level, but also 'appendages of a much larger organism'. there's a little too much individualism and fracturing to be cohesive enough to do that I feel. the hive to me is not an infallible, unstoppable force, in fact, every human it takes over only brings it closer to understanding us. so that's maybe a slight positive note??? idk ?! I just have lots of thoughts and feelings abt this musical even if this doesn't make sense I'm proud i wrote it down hehe.
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lemonagaga · 3 years
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An EH fanfiction written for fun
Chapter 1: To the Palace
Vibrant clothes shine under the heat of the morning sun, sweat glisten and cool the warm bodies clustered together in the crowd. There is friendly and excited chattering amongst sellers and buyers, friends, lovers, and strangers. The hustle and bustle of the busy streets increasingly grow as the anniversary of Queen Historia's coronation approaches.
The cities feel alive, for once there was no sight of forlorn and broken faces of suffering and grieving citizens. Ever since the coronation of Historia and the reclamation of Wall Maria the number of deaths, be it caused by titans, criminals, or accidents, has greatly decreased. Unity among the people of this island was seemingly achieved since then. Soon enough, the scouts would have progressed enough for them to go to the ocean.
'All the sacrifices we've done is all for this....' Armin thinks to himself as he watches the crowd from the glass window of the carriage.
"Are you zoning out again Armin?" Mikasa gently puts her hand on Armin's shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts. "We need to go now or we'll be late."
"I haven't spotted Connie and Sasha yet." He replied, turning his face to see Mikasa's worried look.
"Captain Levi will kill us if we show up late." Jean frowns as he slams his hand on his lap, letting out a frustated sigh. "We shouldn't have let them out."
"They would've escaped either way. No one can stop them from buying the cheap snacks being sold here." Armin replies, trying to calm everyones nerves.
"I seriously don't want to clean up another shithole." Jean shivers, remembering the disgusting things he had to clean out as punishment for missing training. "I still can't get rid of this black mole on my finger that appeared when we had to clean out the old storage from last month. I plan on getting this checked soon."
"I'm sure Historia wouldn't mind it if we happen to be a few minutes late." Armin glances at Eren as he mentions Historia's name. For the whole ride, Eren has only been silently looking out the window. Clearly his mind was elsewhere. Armin hoped that by mentioning her name it would snap him out of his reverie because of how much closer the two of them have become since the accident back in the cave last year, but Eren continued to stare absentmindedly at the crowd.
"Historia might be fine with it but everyone else will not be as merciful." Mikasa sighs. "If they do not return in five minutes I will personally go after them."
"I'll go with you." Jean replies, a hint of blush spreading across his cheeks.
Mikasa looks at him and nods shortly, immediately shifting her gaze to Eren who sat next to Jean and right across Armin. "Eren, do you wish to go outside too?"
"I don't mind." Eren replies, not taking his eyes off the crowd. At that moment, Mikasa wishes she could read his mind.
Silence blankets the carriage, the only source of sound coming from Jean's restless foot tapping and the crowd's noise.
"There they are!" Jean points to the two figures running towards the carriage, carrying a handful of food and drinks. He immediately opens the door to let them in, and signals the driver of the carriage to move.
"What took you two so long?" Armin asks, although he was pretty sure he knew the answer to the question already. He eyes the food and drinks on their hands and furrows his eyebrows at the strange looking delicacies the two have brought along with them. "I've never seen those before."
Sasha and Connie couldn't answer his question as they struggle to get some air after their run.
Mikasa's eyes shine with interest as she eyes the food on their hands. Jean visibly drools and shamelessly reaches out for the yellow fluffy looking cloud on a stick. Even Eren stopped looking at the crowd to get a good look of what Sasha and Connie had bought.
"Sorry for taking so long, but we bought a bunch of snacks for everyone." Connie replies after stabilizing his breathing.
"I've never seen some of these before." Armin says in awe. "Although I have heard descriptions from merchants from Wall Sina that match some of these foods."
"So some of the snacks that were exclusive to Wall Sina are available in Wall Rose now...that's a good sign." Mikasa smiles softly. "Historia must've encouraged this distribution."
"Just take whatever you want." Connie grins, handing out snacks to everyone in the carriage, even to the driver at the front.
Mikasa takes a folded thin pancake that contained fruits and cream inside.
"The seller called that a crepe." Connie explains. "I recommend the egg tart for Armin, and this burger is for you Jean, lastly this cotton candy is for you Eren."
"What else are you hiding there Sasha?" Jean teasingly says as he reaches for the burger.
"Some snacks as peace offering for the  captain." Sasha gulps, dreading the wrath of the captain. "Everything else is mine."
"Did you get some for Historia too?" Eren asks as he takes a bite of the yellow cotton candy.
"I-I...uhhh..kinda forgot." Sasha stutters, feeling intimidated by Eren's gaze. "I mean she is the queen, right? Surely she has more of these at the castle."
"It might feel different if it came from her friends." Eren continues, ignoring the suspicious and worried looks of Armin and Mikasa. "I just think that being in the castle can feel lonely. If I were in her position I would appreciate any gift from my friends. We are still her friends, even if she is the queen."
"I agree with Eren." Jean says nonchalantly. "We were together for years, it must be strange and lonely to be surrounded by officials now instead of the team."
"Let's leave some for her then, we can give it to her as soon as we reach the palace." Armin says. "Let me keep it before the two of you accidentally eat it."
Sasha and Connie sigh, handing over a caramel apple covered in plastic.
"We'll be arriving at the palace in an hour, lets get our rest here first before the meeting." Armin covers the windows with the blinds, embracing the darkness. Soon enough everyone was drifting off to sleep.
Except for one.
'Historia...'
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This is my first Erehisu fanfiction, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.  
Four chapters are available in my wattpad account already, if you enjoyed what you've read
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flawedamythyst · 3 years
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so, random question, but when you're writing longer fics, how often do you reread it?
is it every time you start writing, or just when you haven't written in a long time and have sort of forgotten, or when you need to check something, or when you lack inspiration or what?
It actually really depends on a number of factors.
For example, I tend to reread if I've taken a break from writing a particular fic and need to get back to it, if I'm stuck on a bit and am looking for inspiration, or if it's late and I'm tired and rereading seems more fun than writing. But the longer a fic has got, the less likely I am to reread the whole thing because it just takes so much time. I'll start to reread individual bits instead, depending on what I'm rereading for.
So, my WHOB is divided into 3 sections of 3 chapters each, and I'm currently on the last chapter. I got a bit distracted by writing an Old Guard tennis AU for a week or two, and when I came back I just reread the section I'm on, which is about 2.5 chapters worth, to get me back into it. As long as I keep writing at least a bit every day or two, and don't run into any mental roadblocks, I probably won't reread it again for a while. Hopefully not until I've done all the Final Action Scene and need to reread the last time there was a chance for romantic subplot, so I can add on the schmoopy epilogue bit based on where their relationship had got to before the fighting started.
The first two sections I currently feel fairly confident on, because I've reread as I was writing them, and at least once all the way through since because I got stuck on how to tackle the last two chapters and thought rereading it all would help.
I did have to go back to mess with some exposition in the first chapter a couple of days ago, and I ended up rereading a few scenes when I did, both to make sure it all still fits together after I changed it, and because I got distracted and, you know, reading is easier than writing. I've also unexpectedly brought back a character who was in one scene in chapter 4, so I reread that bit yesterday so I could make sure I was hitting the same characterisation with him.
Once the whole thing is finished, I'll reread it all through to make sure it all feels cohesive, but it is now over 100k, so rereading it all takes a long time which is why I've kept to rereading it in sections instead.
So, yeah, I reread for a bunch of reasons at different times. My WHOB is long and a bit plotty, so I think I've been rereading it more than I would, say, something with a simpler arc and less side characters, just to make sure it all hangs together.
I didn't reread Look What The Cat Dragged In much as I was writing it, for example, because I wrote it very quickly over a few days, so it was all still right there in my mind, and also was pretty much just 'Clint, Bucky and a cat hang out', which didn't need a lot of going back to remember sideplots or worldbuilding or so on.
This may not be the most helpful answer, because I think it basically breaks down to 'reread when it feels like you need to reread in order to keep the shape of it all present in your head'.
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gliagirlphd · 4 years
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So ever since this Corona situation began I haven't been doing any studying and now I feel like I've lagged behind so much and fear that I wouldn't be able to catch up. Also this fear keeps me from restarting my studies. How do I begin again?
Hi Anon, I know exactly how you feel - I’m on the same struggle bus. Here are some things that that you should consider:
Do you need a break? Not like a break like school’s closed due to COVID pandemic, but like a break to avoid burn-outs. Sometimes, we just need to get away from everything (the pandemic, school work, responsibilities, etc. ). Often times, taking time away from everything can bring you back with better focus. This can be a day, or maybe a long-weekend. Take a “vacation” in whatever capacity that you can given the pandemic: a long drive, visiting a garden, reading a book that’s not related to your studies, etc. Your definition of a break might depend on whether you can afford to take one (in respect to time), and whether you need one.
Disciple > Motivation. Waiting for motivation to hit you is like waiting for a constantly revolving door to come to a stop so you can get in. What you really need is discipline. The next few points can help you navigate disciplining yourself.
Set a schedule. If you find yourself struggling with focusing, set yourself a schedule to follow through. This can be as flexible (or not) as you need it to be. Plan everything out. Schedule in your studying like you’re going to a class or a meeting. Only work during these times.  If this doesn’t work for you, maybe schedule things day-by-day (this is how I prefer doing things). Work at times that is distraction-free for you. Or set times to enforce distraction-free work. 
Break it up or do it in one big chunk: Some people like to work in sections like using the Pomodoro Technique - this allows you to focus on your sole task within a time limit. If this works for you, keep it up. 
Schedule in review days and breaks. Seriously. You should always make time to reflect on everything you’ve studied. And take a break. i.e. I review things I on mid-Fridays and Saturdays, and leave my Sundays free for everything non-academic like cleaning my apartment, getting groceries, watching Netflix, calling friends, etc.
Study with learning objectives. Don’t just crack open a textbook or notes with the intention of working through it paragraph by paragraph; make a lesson plan. What do you need to really know? Ask questions, and then find the relevant materials that answer them. Think like a teacher - what do you need to cover in today’s “class”? This is a much more productive use of your time, and you are more likely to remember things, and connect things you’ve learned this way.
Use your breaks wisely. Don’t get on social media. or Netflix. Maybe stretch; get some water; open a window. Once you get yourself on some form of social media, you’re going to be done for the day.
Make the space for studying - and nothing else. This can mean a lot of things - from where you set yourself up for studying, minimizing/decluttering the stuff on your desk to focusing on one task, setting up distraction-free times, getting yourself blocking apps so you don’t get distracted by social media, etc. Never study in bed. Or in pajamas. Or anywhere that you know is a a “distraction zone” or is associated with “not studying”. Of course, if your space in limited, set aside a space to study - and train your mind and habits to only do work in that space. If you can and don’t need it, turn off your internet. 
Make to-do lists with some thought. Lists are awesome, but when you just throw a bunch of tasks to complete on a paper, it feels daunting to go through all of it, and even more anxious if you don’t. I find the best way to delegate tasks is by prioritizing them using a prioritizing matrix. See this post by @ellelearns​. Focus on the urgent and important things first.
Have someone holds you accountable. For me, this is my PI (research mentor) because I asked her to quiz me every Friday about things I’ve covered and learned during the week. It could be a friend, or a trusted mentor, a study buddy or a study group. I also like to set up a “virtual coffee shop” with my study buddies over video call (e.g. Zoom, Google Meet). We share each others schedules for the week, set up video calls for the whole day and work on our own thing. This may or may not work for you in some capacity. Work with people who are studious or need to get things done in a timely manner. Alternatively, work along with #studywithme on Youtube.
Last but not least: Don’t be too hard on yourself. Maybe you won’t get to cover everything in the day, or week as you hoped. That’s okay. 
And honestly? The best advice I’ve ever gotten and will impart on you: Just do the damn thing. Just start studying. 
These advices are from my perspective as a PhD student and what works for me right now as I study for my qualifying exams. 
Here are some other posts that I found pretty helpful too (though some things I may have not mentioned or have differing views):
Stephen Covey’s Prioritizing matrix infographic by @ellelearns
For people who struggle with unstructured free time by @elumish
Time management apps by @fuckstudy
This ask reply by @fuckstudy
Study with me on YouTube
How to study when everything sucks by @desultory-suggestions
Tips for time management by @holocrams
Tips on working/studying from home by @eunoiamaybe
Studying under quarantine by @aleanorie
Studying from home, a new lifestyle during #Covid19 plague by @anatomyandcappuccini
How to study when you don’t feel like it by @stressandstudying
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samanthalightning · 4 years
Text
She's Got A Date-EoWells X Allen!reader- Part IV
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*The GIF is not mine. All rights to the owner*
Part III
Summary: After getting wasted last night, you meet up with Barry and he offered you some advices. Based 1x03
Warnings: None. Just a tad angsty.
***
Extremely groggy, currently having a mind-splitting headache and has the worst case of hungover, it was a miracle that you woke up early— well, thanks to your siren-like alarm. You hate yourself for drinking like a viking and like your liver regenerates like Barry.
Last night was a blur— or at least the part you got home. You blacked out. You have absolutely zero recollection of how you ended up in your bed, in your pyjamas, and your car parked the wrong way. You figured you drank and drove, you might have someone to do with that one. You are so lucky no one caught or Joe would've made sure you won't see the light of day. But everything prior that was still very much intact in your mind. Everything.
You were supposed to meet up with Barry for breakfast today at Jitters. You were headed there anyway for some coffee. It's not far from your apartment, which was nice, because you don't trust yourself with driving hungover as much as driving drunk.
When you arrived at Jitters, Barry was already there. He waved as his eyes caught you entering. You smiled in return. You went to him, put your bag on the floor and took a seat on the stool. Cups of coffee were on the table, it seemed like Barry had already gone through half of his coffee.
"I already ordered for you," he said. "And I got you this ham and cheese sandwich from that bodega." He placed a brown paper bag in front of you.
"Thanks," you mumbled, taking a sip of the coffee. You rummaged through the bag, and took the foil-covered sandwich. It was still warm. Your favorite bodega was all the way downtown. It's a trip to get those treats, which is why you almost never get them. Thank God for Barry and his super speed.
You quickly removed the foil and took a large bite. You groaned happily as you chew. Coffee and greasy sandwich; it was heavenly and bitter. It hits the right spots, it feels as though a part of your soul re-entered your body.
Thank God for Barry and him knowing you so well.
Barry chuckled amusedly at your reaction. "Had some fun last night?" He teased, pointing to your sunglasses covering your eyes.
In your defense, it was very bright outside today.
You rolled your eyes, not that he can see through the lens— or can he? You didn't know. "Just had a few drinks with Iris," you said.
He nodded, half convinced, took a sip of his coffee. "Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm falling apart," he sang in a low voice, but enough for your heightened hearing to hear.
Your head quickly jerked up to him, eyes mortified. "How did you know that?" You whispered. Your thoughts ran wildly. Maybe someone took a video of you drunk as hell, and maybe you're trending on all social media platforms or maybe you became a meme.
He shrugged, pursing his lips. "I don't know, you belted those notes in the streets last night,"
Perplexed, you look at him, and it's like he was waiting for something to click while smirking devilishly. Then it dawned on you. All of those questions you asked earlier were answered. He took you home. Which makes sense why he got these sandwiches for you.
"Oh my God," you groaned, burying your face in your hands, cheeks turned into a dark shade of red. Though, you still remember nothing.
Barry laughed hysterically. He loved teasing you so hard.
"Yeah. You called me last night, begging me to pick you up, because you're too drunk to drive," he said as his laughing ceased. "You both refused to enter the car. You started screaming, giggling like 5-year olds. I was lucky the street was dead."
Oh poor Barry. You can imagine, he must be so embarrassed.
It was a relief that even if you're drunk, you didn't risk driving. Maybe you're not as hopeless as you think you are.
Still, you dwelled in your embarrassment.
"So, who is it?" He asked. You look up to him again, eyebrows furrowed with once again cluelessness and confusion. You had a hunch what he was talking about, but it's always safe to pretend you don't know. It can't hurt them. He looked at you incredulously. "Come on, Y/N. You were talking the whole car ride. About some guy, and how things are so complicated and you were tired of it. I've never seen you like that before—"
"—clearly haven't seen me in a frat party before," you snickered, taking off your glasses.
"I'm serious. What is that about?" He insisted firmly, anticipation and a squint of frustration was evident in his face.
You grimaced, mentally hissing at yourself. You couldn't just zip your mouth and reveal your secret. Might as well announce it.
You messed up. You can lie, but what's the point? He's Barry. If he's anything, that's persistent. He tried breaking in Iron Heights.
"I'm dating someone," you confessed.
Barry blinked, clearly caught off guard with your confession. He expected it, but what surprised him is that you hid it from him. He stuttered for a while, before he was able to form a coherent sentence. "Oh. Okay. What happened?"
You sighed, looking down at the table. You took another bit of your sandwich, taking your time to chew. Contemplating whether to elaborate. It's pretty heavy to unload, you didn't expect telling your brother you're dating someone so secretly. And for sure he won't be able to take it all at once. You have to be vague.
"He—he doesn't want anyone to know we're dating, because there are certain consequences that come with it," you explained. It felt foreign to talk about your love life. For the past 6 months, you kept it all to yourself. The bad, the good. You bottled it up inside.
He raised an eyebrow, concern crossed his features. "And you're comfortable with this?"
"At first. But then it felt restricted and suffocating," you explained.
"Did you talk to him about this?"
You nodded. "Yes. He wasn't very convinced. I honestly don't know what to do," you huffed, slumping your shoulder.
It ain't rocket science to figure how deeply i troubled you. It breaks his heart that his little sister is going through some stuff, and she was going through it alone.
"Talk some more. Be honest of what you're really feeling," you thought was pretty rich and ironic coming from him. "You're part of this relationship as much as he is. You have a say in this, and if you don't feel like this isn't working out for you, then maybe you shouldn't be in it at all."
His words hit you like a brick— thousands of bricks hitting you all at once, if you're being accurate. It hurts, because it was right. It hurts, because it deeply matters. You felt the sting in your heart, your jaw tightened. You don't want to think about it, but he's got a point.
Barry was worried with your lack of response, as you think deeply in the distance. "I'm not saying break up with him, okay? I'm just saying this is something you should really talk about and consider. You can't bottle it all up." He doesn't want to screw up his sister's love life or push her to do something that might hurt her, but not exactly disregarding the advice he made.
When he's not being a total dork, he's pretty wise.
You pressed your lips is a hard line, taking it all in. "I know," you murmured.
You weren't able to say anything after that. So did he. It was some heavy weight of emotional stuff to unload to your brother. Your hungover was gone, and who knew these kinds of talks are better than coffee and grease.
Barry decided to break the silence. "This explains so much," he laughed and so did you. You weren't pretty subtle. "Do I know him?" He quirked an eyebrow.
You hesitated, but it's not like Wells' is the first that will come to his mind. Gradually, you nodded. "Yes. But I'm not gonna say who!"
"He isn't someone like Oliver Queen, right?" He half-joked, but deep inside he meant it.
You almost spat your drink. "No!"
Barry went to the precinct, and you headed to S.T.A.R Labs.
You tried to act as normal as possible, even though what Barry said deeply affected you. Thank God Caitlin arrived before you, so you wouldn't have to deal with interactions with him.
You couldn't still believe how much emotion you felt last night; how intense it is. You minded it, but you didn't think you would actually get drunk about it. You have no idea how to deal with it, and if it's the right time to deal with it. You can't go on and help your brother save the city, while your mind is filled with thoughts about him.
Right now, you choose the city.
As soon as Cisco arrived, which wasn't very long, you worked on finishing the pipeline.
It wasn't easy though, you worked on the same thing, be in the same room, act like you didn't get hammered because of him last night. Every time you spare him a glance, and he would look back and he would smile, having no idea what you were going through, it would break your heart just a little bit more. Each minute that you let your feelings be unknown, Barry's words sink into you furthermore. But it occurred to you that the reasons why it was hard were also the reasons why you should keep it together.
The prison was done before lunch. He and Cisco worked over-overtime last night, so there wasn't really much to do, but set it up. It came up together well; durable, functional. The cells slightly look like pods, and given Francisco Ramon's obsession with Star Wars, it makes sense. The test run will happen when 'The Mist' is captured, since Barry doesn't want to participate. But rest assured, you and Cisco worked on it very hard to make sure it works.
Now with the biggest task done, the only thing left to do is go through a bunch of workload and have lunch.
"Hey, Caitlin and I are gonna grab lunch, wanna come?" Cisco asked, putting his coat on. "It's that new place that serves amazing cheap steaks and burgers,"
You realized that the place he was talking about was the very restaurant that you told Wells.
You shook your head. "No, you guys go. I already ordered some food." You smiled, declining.
"Okay, your lost. That place is amazing," he elaborated, clearly pleased with the place. It's Cisco, though. And food.
You snorted, turning your eyes back to the computer. "As I heard," you murmured underneath your breath with a tinge of bitterness, as Cisco strided out of the cortex.
On the bright side, someone from this place already went there. But much to your dismay, it wasn't you.
Your phone dinged. You picked it up to check, and it's what you have been waiting for. The delivery guy is right outside the lab. You quickly headed down to pick it up. You gave the delivery guy some tip, before excitedly went back inside.
You were salivating when the intoxicating smell of Chinese food filled your nostrils.
When you got up, Wells was there. He took a waft of the take-out foods. "Is that from Mann-Lee?" His eyes lit up in recognition. He was the one who introduced you to the restaurant. He said it's the only Chinese place he likes, because it tasted like the food he had in Shanghai. Of course, he's been to China.
You nodded, placing it on the desk. You quickly took out every box of food in the bag, and dug into your chow mein happily and satisfied, not bothering to take a seat.
"Did you order some for me?" He asked.
Unable to speak due to your mouth being filled with noodles and potstickers, you nodded. "It's in the box," he chuckled at your attempt to speak.
He helped himself and rummaged inside the bag's remaining contents. Upon opening one, his face fell, seemingly disappointed. He opened another box only to be disappointed again. He was looking for something specific. Your wonder started to grow, watching him.
He turned to you, and you raised an eyebrow. "Did you order some of their Beef Broccoli?"
"No. Did you want that?" You inquired.
"Yeah." He forced a half-smile, waving his fingers dismissively. "It's okay. I'm fine with Kung Pao Chicken; it's decent enough,"
For some reason, your mood soured. Decent in Harrison Wells' vocabulary means it's not good enough; he doesn't hate it, but he doesn't love either. You felt bad that you didn't know what he actually likes, but in your defense, he never says, and he lets you eat it. He never complained.
"You don't have to eat it if you don't like it," you said. You didn't want to watch him suffer eating something he doesn't like while you enjoy your own lunch.
"No, it's fine," he assured you.
"No, Harry. I mean it— you don't have to eat it," you insisted with more vigor in your tone.
He ignored you, and took a bite of the chicken. You scoffed in disbelief, frustration fueled in your chest. You want to stop him as he continues eating, but you decided against it. It's too petty to get angry about, not worth it.
You eat your lunch in peace, every time you turn to Wells, he would wince every now and then when he takes a bite. You don't know what about Kung Pao Chicken he doesn't like, but he doesn't just like it. You tried to let him go through it, but you're starting to get annoyed. And of course, you couldn't stop yourself.
"Okay, stop," you suddenly spoke, putting your food aside. "You don't have to eat, you don't like it." You tried to grab the food out of his grasp, but he swerved swiftly.
"Y/N, I said it's fine!" Wells said, displeased at your attempt to take his food away.
"It's not! You don't look fine— you don't like it!" Your voice rose a little.
He exhaled audibly. "It's just food,"
"I know it's just Kung Pao Chicken that I ordered that you don't like, so just admit it and stop eating!" You spat.
He scoffed in disbelief. "What is wrong with you? I am eating it!"
"But that's the point!" You snapped loudly. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do— you never do!"
Realizing what you've said, you shut your eyes. Your hands flew to each side of your head, fingers weaved through your hair, tugging on them. You needed to calm down and take breath, and be rational. The last you want to do is do something reckless and irrational.
"Is there something wrong?" He questioned firmly.
You mentally grimaced at the question. It was a stupid question; it's basically screaming at his face. "Nothing," you muttered.
Of course he didn't buy it. You weren't exactly selling it well. Or at all.
"It's something. You're enraged over food," You don't honestly know how he can keep his tone down, but it was evident he was agitated. You hate it so much right now.
You sighed wearily, refusing to face him. Afraid of what might happen if you do.
"Let it go, Wells," you pleaded through your gritted teeth and clenched jaw.
"No. I'm not gonna stop until this is settled. Tell me, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
He continued on, pushing you to speak. The idea of unloading all of your hidden burdens entered your mind, but you don't have the emotional capacity to face the fact that this is taking a toll on you. You tried to hold your ground, but his voice overwhelmed you.
You pushed your chair back, getting on your feet and facing him.
"Everything is wrong, Harrison!" You shouted, your voice boomed inside. Wells almost flinched. "Everything is wrong with us!"
Wells shook his head, baffled. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I can't take this any longer,"
"Can't take what?"
"This—" you gestured to you and him. "—This arrangement we made!"
Wells sighed, distressed, catching on what you were saying. "I thought you were okay with this,"
You chewed on your bottom lip, as you folded your arms across your chest. When you spoke, your voice dropped into a whisper; you couldn't control it. "I thought so too. Then last night, Iris vented out to me." You paused. You struggled to keep it together, now pressing your tightly folded arms on your chest. You continued. "They were having problems, same as us. I gave her some insights about everything, and then I realized that's how I feel!"
The underlying problem he thought he got handled was more intense than he thought. Time was running, you couldn't pick more of an impeccable timing, and the team could waltz in anytime while you were having this fight. He couldn't afford anyone finding out about it.
He took off his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Y/N, this is not the time for this," he said.
You snorted, your anger erupted in your veins. You were tired of avoiding the elephant in the room.
"When is the perfect time? When it's too late? When we break up?" You didn't want to say it, but it was at the tip of your tongue, waiting to be asked ever since you realized it.
His expression hardened. You already see the gears working. "Y/N, don't go there," he murmured, not glancing up to you.
"Why?" Your voice cracked into an almost sob. That was it. The tears found their way and pool at the rim of your eyes. "I tried to make myself believe that I understand, but I couldn't help but think that maybe you're scared that if things don't work out you won't have to deal with other people, thinking that you slept with a 24-year old girl."
Soon, every emotion you were feeling last night came rushing back to you; the confusion, the anger, the love and the pain— towards him and yourself. It seeped, not only to your heart, but through your very bones and weary soul. All too soon it became overwhelming, your chest tightening, your stomach knotting, struggling to keep it at bay.
Thinking it was one thing, but saying was a whole new realm of pain you didn't know you existed, let alone capable of feeling.
He glanced up to you, eyes staring into you meaningfully. "I would never think that. I made so many enemies, Y/N. Before and after the accelerator exploded. The last thing those people want is to see me happy and that puts you in danger," he reasoned.
You tried to steady your shaky voice. "I know. But your reasons and your excuses, they won't matter in the long run. The press, Joe, our friends, my brother— everything they say won't matter to me, because they're not the ones who loves you like I do, and they're not the one in a relationship with you." You told him, staring back, before turning away, as they threatened to fall.
You inhaled sharply. "I love you, Harrison Wells. And no matter what they say about us or you or me, I'll love you. Damn, you put my brother in a 9-month coma, but I loved you nonetheless!" You pointed your index finger at him in the air.
He let you speak, taking it all, as waiting for you to finish, let it all out and explain his side. And then, you'll be swept off your feet again, as if all of your feelings and thoughts didn't exist in your mind before. Barry was right. You couldn't believe you were getting to this point, but he was right.
"But I don't wanna hide anymore. I want to do more. Be free. If you don't want anyone to know that this relationship is happening, then maybe we shouldn't happen at all," You stated.
You both were silent, the tension was thick and you could cut a knife through it. Suddenly you couldn't move, like all of your energy was drained from your body.
You turned away before you could see his reaction. The pain was unbearable; it's best if you don't see it.
Mustering all the courage and strength you have left and your body, you took a step to leave the room. He tried to stop you by reaching out, but you recoiled, before his fingertips graze your skin.
"Don't,"
You strided out of the cortex, your shoulder straightened, held up high to hold your tears, but every step you take, the control you have dissipates. Slowly, your tears overflowed. You wiped the tears, though it didn't make any difference, your tears fell and fell, soaking your neck. Soon, all hell broke loose, sobs racked your body, your hands flew to your mouth to muffle your voice.
Wells was left with nothing, but the sound of your footsteps received, your muffled sob through the walls; thousands thoughts and emotions, and the weight of your words.
***
My parents are fighting. This one made me genuinely sad. Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you share this and give it some love. Thanks!
Part V
88 notes · View notes
iceslushii · 3 years
Note
So, I'm writing this to document what I can only assume is my sudden descent into insanity. I can't possibly be THAT bad a navigator, and yet as I write this I've been trapped in Ikea for 2 days. I haven't seen another person in the entire time I've been here. I thought it was a prank at first. Turn the place into a maze, get all the people out and see how long it takes me to get lost, then everyone has a good old laugh. Realised that wasn't the case when I tried to backtrack. Everything had changed, so I ended up lost. Instead of the exit, it was just row after row of bookcases.
So, I'm trapped in Ikea. Sounds like the setup for a bad joke. The lights went out at 10pm. Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack, that loud electrical THUNK sound and then pitch blackness. Place is full of beds though and my phone has a torch on it - but no damn signal - so I found a bed and went to sleep. Spent most of the next day trying to find my way out with no luck. Did find a restaurant serving those meatballs though, so at least I won't starve. That's probably the punchline to that joke. Anyway they were still warm and fresh, but I haven't seen anyone around who could have cooked them. Made my way back to the beds before the lights cut out again since it's too dark to search with them off.
It's 9.10am now, the lights came back on a little while ago. I'm sure I've searched the entire area around where I came in now and the exit obviously isn't here, so I'm going to pick a direction and hope for the best.
Day 3 of my magical Ikea mystery adventure. If I wasn't sure that there was something seriously weird about this place before, I am now. Walked for 3 hours in a more or less straight line (insert Ikea joke here) before I came across a ladder next to one of those huge stock shelves they have here. Climbed up to get my bearings, and it looks like this place just stretches on forever. Like that scene from the Lion King, except instead of trees and grass it was all shelves and tables and crap. I did see a person moving not too far away though, so I headed over.
Thought it was a staff member at first - it was wearing the uniform. And hell maybe it was, maybe freakish 7ft tall monsters with long arms, short legs and no faces are just the kinds of thing they want working at Super Ikea. Damn thing completely ignored me though, and with no eyes or ears I can't even be sure it knew I was there. Thought about shoving it or something to get its attention, but its hands were big enough to crush a water melon so I decided against it. It just kept moving along and eventually I lost sight of it so I decided to carry on the way I was going.
Anyway, no comfy bed for me tonight. Looks like I've entered the Improbably Hard and Pointy Table section of the store. Guess I'll have to make do with some bunched up tablecloths. Phone battery died during the day too. Didn't work anyway, but I feel like I've just lost some vital lifeline.
You ever see one of those cartoons where they're going through doors in a hallway and they just pop out of another door in the same hallway? That's how I feel right now. I've seen nothing but the same identical bookshelf for 2 days now. Just row after row after row of them. I mean, come on. I love books as much as the next guy, but this is excessive. I'm obviously still moving forwards though, I can see the signs hanging overhead passing by. Too bad none of them say "Exit".
Not sure who I was addressing that question to. Lets just say it was practice for the autobiography I'm going to write when I get out of here. I'll call it "My perfectly normal trip to a regular old Ikea".
If I ever get out o
Finally found some other people! Yeah, turns out I'm not the only poor bastard trapped in here. Lucky for me, I guess. My 6th night here, 2 of those staff things came at me in the dark. Different from the first one I saw, but still messed up. Heard them coming, they were saying that the store was closed and I had to leave the building, all nice and polite like. I'm not sure which part of that was weirder, that they don't have mouths or that they were apparently trying to kill me while they were saying it. Came at me like rabid dogs.
So, I legged it. Sprinting through ikea in the dark like a fucking madman. I saw it when I cleared another stand of those giant stock shelves, all lit up with torches and floodlights. They've built a whole town in here! Got a massive wall built out of shelves and beds and tables and whatever else. I swear to god it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Anyway I guess they saw me coming (or maybe they heard my girlish manly bellows of fear), because they had a gate open and 2 people were there waving me in. Heard the staff things slam into the gate behind me after it closed, still politely informing us all that the store was now closed. They wandered off eventually though.
They call the town Exchange, because that's whats on the sign hanging from the ceiling directly above it. Exchange and Returns. All lit up against the night using lights they've found and plugged into the power lines. And there are beds and food and people. Over 50 wonderful people with regular sized limbs and a full set of facial features. It's now my 7th night here, and the first one not spent in darkness. A full week living in Ikea. There's probably a TV show in that somewhere.
Now that I'm around other people, I'm starting to feel more normal. Maybe normal isn't the word. But after a week with only the sound of my own footsteps for company, I was becoming increasingly sure that I'd just gone nuts. That I was tied up in some padded room somewhere, banging my head against the wall. But no, I feel quite sane now, thank you very much!
Apparently there are other towns out there. Some with more people, some with less. I found that fairly mind-boggling - how can that many people go missing with no one noticing. Surely someone would have noticed that everyone who goes to ikea seems to fucking vanish. Or maybe it's not everyone. Maybe we're just the lucky ones.
The people here just call those staff monster things the Staff. Apparently they are fine during the day, minding their own business walking the aisles. As soon as those lights go out though, they go fucking bonkers. So during the day people go out to find food, water and whatever else they need. Apparently there are restaurants and shops around that randomly get restocked. No one knows how. Maybe the staff do it. Apparently they aren't very good at their jobs though because the restocking sometimes takes a while, which means the food needs to be rationed. Maybe if they weren't so busy chasing people around in the dark they'd get more done.
Anyway when night comes the staff go nuts and everyone holds up inside the walls. Apparently it's the same everywhere in this place, whatever this place is. The Ur-Ikea, from whence all other Ikeas sprang. Or maybe we're all still just in the regular ikea and this is all some fever dream brought on by mind-numbing boredom. Who knows.
Been here for 10 days now. Most of the people I asked said they stopped keeping track a long time ago and one guy, Chris, said he'd been in here for years.
Years.
[ILLEGIBLE SCRIBBLES]
Apparently there are rumours of people who do manage to get out. And of people who see the exit, only to have it vanish before their very eyes. I get the feeling not everyone believes that, but I do. Explains how we got stuck in here in the first place (sort of). And I mean, come on. Staff monsters, row after endless row of high quality Swedish furniture. I don't know why they would find a disappearing door so hard to believe in.
Anyway, I went out scavenging for food at a nearby shop with Sandra and Jerry today. Once you learn the landmarks of this place it's not so hard to navigate. The overhead signs help a lot, but there are others; not too far in the distance a huge section of those giant stock shelves has collapsed against each other and way off in the east (we all assume it's east anyway - apparently Ikea doesn't sell compasses) is some kind of tower that looks like its made of wood, reaches all the way to the ceiling. Maybe they were trying to break out through the roof. Lights up at night so there must be people there, but its apparently a few days walk (which means it must be miles away) so no one here really knows for sure. Apparently I got incredibly lucky sleeping out in the open for a week without getting ripped to bits by the staff. That's me. Lucky lucky lucky.
We found some food in the shop. Guess the staff restocked it during the night, which was nice of them. There was a telephone on the wall, so I figured I'd try it out. There was a voice on the other end, but they were just talking nonsense. Random words strung together with no real meaning. You ever see a video of someone with aphasia? Kind of sounded like that. Didn't answer me when I spoke to them anyway. Sandra says all the phones in here are the same.
Oops, asking the journal questions again!
I was thinking last night. The ceiling on this place is pretty high and as far as anyone can tell it goes on forever. Shouldn't there be some kind of weather in here? I'm sure I read about some NASA building that was so big it had its own weather patterns, with clouds and stuff. This place is definitely bigger than that, but now that I think about it I'm pretty sure I've never felt so much as a temperature change in here.
I'll add it to the Grand List of Weird Bullshit.
The staff attacked the Exchange last night. Must have been 20 or 30 of them all just asking us to leave the store calm as you like, while trying to smash the walls down with their bare hands. Apparently this happens pretty regularly, so everyone is prepared for it. Knives from the restaurants, lawn mower blades made into hatchets, a fire axe. One guy, Wasim, even made a functional crossbow. Anyway the walls have holes in them, which I hadn't noticed before, specifically so we can stab out at the staff when they attack. Took a couple of them down myself. They don't seem to bleed, which is weird, but they go down as easy as a regular person once you start sticking holes in them.
We had to haul the bodies away in the morning. Apparently the dead ones will attract more during the night, so we had to get them away from Exchange. We have a couple of those trolley things they use to move big boxes around, so we loaded them up and took them over to Pickup. Apparently people just name everything in here after whatever sign is hanging overhead.
Pickup was grisly. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of dead staff all piled up. There was no smell, which was a blessing. Apparently in addition to not bleeding, these things don't rot either. My curiosity got the better of me while we were unloading them, so I took a look at one of the more cut-up ones. They're just skin, or something that looks like skin, all the way through. No muscle, no bone, no organs. Are they even really alive in the first place? They certainly seem like they have bones when they are moving around, pounding on the walls. And I'm sure I felt more resistance than just skin when the knife went in during the night. Maybe something happens to them when they die. Just one more thing on the ever-increasing list of Weird Shit that goes on in here, I guess.
Something occurred to me, after the staff attack the other night. Every time you see a situation like this on TV or in a film, like its the end of the world or everyone is trapped on an island or whatever, once groups like ours start to form people always seem to turn on each other. Fighting for food or dominance or whatever else. That hasn't happened here. Apparently people from other towns come by from time to time, just to check in or occasionally to trade if they are short on something. But everything is always cordial. Friendly, even. Maybe its the threat of the staff, or perhaps the constant restocking of supplies in the shops means there's nothing much to fight over.
Maybe people are just better than they are generally given credit for. That's a nice thought. I think I'll go with that one.
A dozen people showed up at the gates this afternoon from a town called Trolleys. Apparently the staff broke through the walls and tore the town apart during the night. These 12 are the only survivors out of over a hundred. We let them in, obviously. One more point in the human decency column. Later, I asked if anyone knew how many of these towns there were out there. Between us and the new folks, we managed to come up with over 20 names. 20 towns filled with people, and who knows how many beyond that.
The motto for this place should be "How Is That Even Possible". Surely someone, somewhere must be looking for the thousands of people that must be in here.
I've been here for a little over 2 months now. Not that much changes, as it turns out. A couple of new people showed up, same story as the rest of us. Nice little trip to Ikea and suddenly they're trapped in Billy Bookcase's House of Faceless Weirdos. The staff attack the Exchange once or twice a week. We kill them and haul their bodies off, sometimes they hurt some of us first. They killed a guy called Jared a couple of weeks back. It was awful, frankly. Turns out regular humans still bleed in here, even if the staff don't. We tried our best, but none of us are doctors.
Jared was a good guy. He deserved better. We all do.
It occurred to me a couple of days after that, none of us were really looking for a way out of here. I don't even know where we'd start.
One of those quad copter things with a camera attached buzzed passed Exchange today. I thought it meant that someone was finally looking for us, that help was on the way. Apparently it's not the first time this has happened, though. Same thing happened a few months ago, and everyone is still here.
No idea if it saw us, it didn't stop if it did. Just kept flying until we could no longer see it.
Note: Based on recovery time of the journal, this entry appears to line up approximately with our first successful test piloting a drone inside SCP-3008-1. Analysis of footage shows a walled settlement under a sign labelled "Exchange and Returns". Attempts to relocate the settlement failed. Origin of previously sighted drones is unknown.
I started talking to people about the stuff they miss from home during dinner today. Probably not the best idea I've ever had, everyone seemed pretty down after. A bunch of people here have families. Husbands and wives, kids. Dogs. Franklin apparently has a pet llama, though I'm not sure I buy that.
But apparently some of the people here have some seriously odd gaps in their knowledge. 3 of them had never heard of the International Space Station, 2 of them seemed to think █████ ███████ was the Prime Minister, and one of them had apparently never heard of the Statue of Liberty. I believe them, too. They seemed just as confused as the rest of us.
The more I thought about it though, the more it started to explain a few things. What if the reason no one is looking for all us missing people is because we haven't all come from the same place. This is going to sound weird (maybe that should be the motto for this place) but what if all the people here have come from different dimensions? Realities? Whatever you call it. I've seen enough TV shows to know the drill. Sarah comes from a place where there is no Statue of Liberty. They didn't launch a space station where Wasim is from. If everyone here came from different places, even from ones that seem identical, there'd be no huge missing persons panic. No mass search. We'd just be a blip, a single missing person in a world of non-stop news.
Well. That was a fun train of thought.
Just realised that yesterday was the six month anniversary of my arrival here. I wonder if Ikea sells party hats. The routine around here has remained more or less the same. More new folk show up, one every couple of weeks or so. Food supplies go up and down, but we've never actually had a major shortage. Occasionally we get a visitor from one of the nearby towns, usually Checkouts or Aisle 630. We check in with each other from time to time, occasionally trade supplies if someone gets particularly low on something. It's comforting, in a way. A reminder that we aren't alone in here, some small glimmer of civilisation. Sometimes they bring medical supplies. Apparently there's a pharmacy a few towns down from Checkouts that gets restocked every now and then, so they share out what they can. I've never heard of an Ikea with a pharmacy before but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if someone stumbled on an Ikea Organ Harvesting Lab. Would certainly explain the staff.
Speaking of our faceless jailers, their attacks have been getting worse lately. 3 or 4 times a week now, with twice as many staff as there used to be. No idea where they all come from, or why the attacks have increased. We tried following one of them during the day a few weeks ago, me and Sarah. Wanted to see if they lead back to a staff room or something. Didn't seem to go anywhere though, just randomly walked through the aisles. We had to turn back before we found anything.
We've been reinforcing the walls, trying to arm ourselves better. Certainly no lack of materials to use. Wasim has been making more crossbows, but it's pretty slow going.
Too bad Ikea doesn't sell guns.
Note: No new personnel have entered SCP-3008 at Site-██ in the time span indicated in this entry.
The attacks are getting bad now. Almost every night, and with so many staff that the bodies almost pile high enough for others to climb the walls. I think we're in real trouble here.
Exchange is
I think Exchange is done. We got hit pretty bad last night. Not many casualties, but the wall is wrecked. We finally figured out why the attacks had been escalating, too. A box of supplies had a chunk of one of the staff in there. No idea how it happened but apparently a piece of one will draw them as well as a full body. Too late now in any case, there's too many bodies for us to haul away and still have time to fix the wall before night. Candace has called a meeting. I suspect there will be talk of abandoning Exchange, maybe try and get shelter at Checkouts or something.
It's already getting late though. I don't think we'll have time to make it. Maybe some of us will. I was fine for that first week out in the dark, after all. But then, how often can I keep getting lucky.
I'm only writing this for a sense of closure, I guess. For me, or for anyone who finds this. If this is the final entry here, I hope whoever is reading this is doing so from outside of this place.
My biggest fear? If I do die tonight, I'll just wake up here again in the morning.
Note: This is the last entry. It is assumed that while attempting to reach the "Checkouts" settlement he was separated from the rest of his group by a pursuing SCP-3008-2 instance and happened upon the exit.
We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see
Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye
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nothing-but-dreamy · 3 years
Text
TRUE COLORS ~ Ch. 6
Wanna start? Masterlist
Pairing: DBH!Connor x OC!Maya
Words: 2.193 (yes, it's a bit longer but I really love this chapter and didn't want to cut it somwhere)
Warning: some cursing;
Connor stayed the rest of the evening and the whole night with Maya. And as she awoke the next morning, she was surprised and very happy to see that Connor was still there. As Maya walked into the living room, she saw Connor staying in front of the terrarium, watching her little friend.
"Haven't you met Trevor before?", Maya asked and joined Connor.
"You named your gecko Trevor?", he asked, visibly amused.
"Sure. It isn't that he would care anyway. I mean, it's a gecko. I don’t think he understands one single word I’m telling him. Maybe it’s better this way.", she answered with a wink. Connor smiled but it faltered a bit.
"Hank had called me. Maybe we have a lead for our case."
"Sounds good. When do you have to leave?"
"He will be here in five minutes."
"Oh, then it's good I woke up or you would have sneaked out again, huh?", Maya joked but she saw that Connor didn't get it. He blinked with his eyes and tilted his head. Then, his expression changed as he searched for the right words.
"Thank you, again. I… I really appreciate what you do for me."
"I'm here for you whenever you need me, Connor.", Maya said honestly and Connor nodded before he left to meet Hank on the street.
"Connor, wait!", Maya called out and the android stopped. She ran towards him, got on her tiptoes and flung her arms around his neck.
"Please, be careful, okay? Don’t get shot again.", Maya said, softly smiling and he nodded not knowing what the right reaction would be. This much affection towards him confused him but in a nice way.
***
"Another night spent with Maya, huh?", Hank asked and watched the android closely as he entered the car.
"Yes, it was helpful. Where are we going?", Connor asked as the lieutenant hit the road.
"We have to meet someone."
Forty minutes and a quick stop at the CyberLife Tower later, Hank parked his car in front of an abstract and cubical building. As Hank's phone rang, he left the car to answer it. Connor looked one last time over the area before he left the car as well to join Hank who walked up and down.
"Is everything okay, Lieutenant?", Connor asked as he closed up to his partner.
"Chris was on patrol last night. He got attacked by a bunch of deviants but he got saved by Markus himself."
"Is Chris okay?"
"Yeah, he is under shock but he is okay. These are crazy times at the moment.", Hank said and walked to the front door of the building.
"I have a bad feeling, Lieutenant."
"Bad feeling, huh? Have you checked your program? It might be a glitch.", Hank teased but Connor frowned. After everything that had happened the last few days, Connor was insecure if something might be really wrong with him or his program.
[X] shoot
[O] spare
Connor pointed Kamski's gun at the head of the kneeling Chloe. He looked her straight in the eyes. Her LED was spinning blue. She wasn't concerned. She was a machine and she just watched him patiently. But Connor was disturbed. His LED was spinning yellow as his system was working. There was a clash between his instructions to get information for his mission and … something else.
… I'm convinced you will be able to find a way to solve this case without killing someone. There is always an alternative. To spare someone's life is always better…
Maya's soft voice echoed through his mind and reminded him of everything she had tried to teach him the first night. Suddenly, the eyes he looked into weren't the eyes of Chloe anymore, instead he saw Maya's bright eyes and her smile.
The LED was moving erratic red as he acted against his instructions: Connor pulled the gun away from the kneeling android. Kamski stepped around Connor and watched him.
"Fascinating. CyberLife's last chance to save humanity is itself a deviant."
"I- I'm not a deviant."
"You spared its life rather than to accomplish your mission. You saw a living being in this android. You showed empathy."
"Okay, that's enough. We're leaving.", Hank said and pushed Connor away from the eccentric scientist. Connor was almost out of the room as Kamski spoke up.
"By the way, I always leave an emergency exit in my programs. You might never know.", Kamski said and Connor left the villa with a troubled mind. He passed Hank who followed slowly behind Connor.
"You said you would do everything to accomplish your mission."
"I- I know…", Connor stammered.
"Why haven't you shot?"
"I don't know, okay? I just saw Maya's eyes and I couldn't-"
"Maya?"
"Th...the girls eyes, I meant."
"But you said Maya. You like her a lot, don't you? Well, obviously, she has a good effect on you.", Hank said with a smile and passed a confused looking Connor.
***
"It snows again.", Gary said dryly.
"You mean, it's still snowing. I never saw it stop for one sec.", Maya stated and gave a customer his order while she looked at the grey sky. She liked snow but not if she had to work in this cold truck. Tom, one of the construction workers, who always came over in his lunch break, joined the truck, as well.
"Hey man, have you heard about the deviant attack at the Plaza? They have destroyed the whole place.", Tom said. Maya had seen the so-called 'attack' on the news but even then, she wasn't trusting the anchorman and his information. Somehow, she was sure that Markus and the others hadn't been violent how it got displayed.
"Yeah, man! That's the reason why I still don't have one. I don't trust these things.", Gary admitted with a spiteful undertone.
"They're not things!", Maya insisted but no one supported her opinion. Gary crossed his arms and shook his head about his sister.
"You're sympathizing with these terrorists? After everything they have done so far?"
"They are not violent!", Maya called out and threw the flipper on the table.
"Haven't you seen the news this morning?"
"Sure, I have-"
"Then you saw how they have destroyed the CyberLife store and everything around!", Gary argued back. Maya gritted her teeth. The fact that they had broken into the store with a truck wasn't helpful for her argument. But still, she was convinced that the news had misrepresented the android’s action.
"They just want to be heard! No one would listen to them-", she argued.
"It would be better if they stay silent, if you ask me! Oh, hey, Jim! What's up man?", Gary said and turned over to the next customer. Maya hated it to be ignored but she also hated to have this kind of conversation with her brother again and again.
*
"Hey! Good to see you! The usual?", Gary asked the next customer.
"Yeah-"
"Good but please, send this thing away. It's an android free zone here!", Gary said and Maya turned around to see who his brother was talking to. Maya saw Hank and then, her eyes fell on Connor who smiled at her softly and nodded slightly to greet her.
"Hey, plastic asshole! What are you staring at?", Gary asked angry and stepping into the line between Connor and Maya. This was the point where Maya had enough.
"Gary! Shut the fuck up!"
"Stay out of this!”, Gary hissed and glared then at Connor, “And you, go away!"
"You won't send him away!", Maya hissed back.
"This is my truck and my rules! And I don't send him away! I send it away!", Gary said and turned around to Maya with gleaming eyes.
"His name is Connor and you will apologize to him because he's my friend!"
"Your friend? Are you out of your stupid mind? You can't be serious!"
"I am very serious, Gary!", Maya hissed through gritted teeth and stepped closer to her brother.
"Maya, I swear to god-"
"That's enough!", Hank called out to stop them, "Gary, calm down! It's still your sister you're talking to so, calm the fuck down. Connor, I guess Maya could use a break. Accompany her a bit.", Hank said further and watched how Maya stepped back and out of the truck. She threw her apron into a corner with more force than necessary and grabbed her coat and scarf.
"Hank! You can't let her walk around with this thing!", Gary called out frustrated. Once again, Maya stopped and glared at her brother, ready to jump at him again but Hank pushed her carefully further as he saw her angry eyes.
"I trust him. Connor, we meet us later in the DPD.", Hank said with no room for any more objection from anyone.
*
"I'm so sorry for my brother’s behaviour. Sometimes, he can be such a jerk!", Maya said frustrated after they had walked a bit. She was so angry that she couldn't even look at Connor.
"It's okay-"
"No it isn't!", Maya called out and stopped suddenly. Connor stopped as well and looked confused at her.
"No matter if android or not, no one should be treated like that!", Maya called out and Connor stepped closer.
"You defended me in front of your brother. No one ever did that.”, he said with a soft smile, “Maya, you have the best intentions but not everyone sees it this way and some people won't ever see it like you.", Connor said low.
"It's frustrating.", Maya said but calmed slowly down. The cold air and the falling snow cooled her temper. They continued their way side by side. Maya snuggled deeper into her coat and pushed her hands deeper into the pockets while Connor walked just casually next to her, seemingly unaware of the cold. She watched him, gnawed on her lower lip and asked the question in her mind.
"Aren't you freezing? It's so cold!"
"No. My systems regulate my temperature to a perfect level. See?", Connor said and offered her his hand. Maya smiled because it was completely innocent from him but the butterflies in her stomach danced happily around. She took the hand and because Connor had learnt it recently, he intertwined his fingers with hers. Connor's hand was perfectly warm. And like this, hand in hand, they started to walk again.
"How's your case doing? Was the lead helpful?", Maya asked after five minutes of comfortable silence. The android next to her stayed silent but the LED told her something was bothering him. The LED was spinning yellow with a bit of red.
"Connor?", Maya asked, carefully pushing.
"We have met Kamski-"
"Kamski? You mean the Elijah Kamski?", Maya asked surprised and Connor nodded.
"Hank could make an appointment with him."
"And?", Maya asked excitedly as the android stayed silent.
"We...we haven't found out something useful.", Connor said but stared at the ground, avoiding her glance. Maya knew that he was hiding something.
"Connor, please. Tell me what happened. Something keeps you busy.", Maya said softly and looked at him encouragingly with a smile.
"Maybe he knew something but I…"
"Yeah?"
"I failed. Again.", Connor admitted low and looked away from her. Doubts were written on his face. Maya stopped and stepped in front of Connor. With her hand on his cheek, she turned his face back to her. With a sad expression he looked at the small woman in front of him who was simply nice and sweet towards him. Suddenly, he realized he was going to lose this if he wouldn’t make any progress soon.
"Why do you think you have failed? What happened there?", Maya asked and waited. Connor looked into the distance, his LED spinning yellow as he reconstructed the happenings earlier that day.
"There was this 'Kamski Test'. I had to pass it if I wanted information from him. If I would have passed this test, he would have told me what I needed to know but I… I…", Connor stopped and looked Maya straight into the ocean blue eyes he had seen earlier in a different situation.
"Yeah?", Maya said encouragingly and squeezed his hand, "I'm here for you."
"The test was to kill one of his androids."
"What? That's ridiculous! What kind of test shall this be?", she said shocked.
"It is based on the Turing Test. The test shall show if a machine is able to feel empathy. In the end, Kamski put a gun in my hand while his Chloe knelt in front of me."
"And, then?", Maya asked, feeling on edge. Connor looked away and she tried to give him time. As it was almost too long for her to endure the silence, Connor looked back at her.
"I couldn't kill the android. I saw yo- something in her eyes and I couldn't shoot.", Connor closed his explanation. There was something else. Something in his voice. He wanted to say something else but before Maya could wrap her mind around it, the thought was gone.
"You spared her life because of empathy. That is good. Don't blame yourself, Connor.", Maya said reassuringly but she saw that Connor was still troubled.
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