#my whole thing is to make a whole library based on the books I've read so fantasy readers don't have to go searching

[harestigm]

i'm gonna read more, i miss it. i got some books that I have yet to read and they're all stacked up on the side of my bed (TWO STACKS!! mixed in with other books I've finished but STILL!! TWO!!)

its not overwhelming how much i've collected and haven't feasted my eyes on, more just "I can't believe it's come to this."

and theres only two reason why i let it get like this okay?? well three but still two

okay so one, i can only read one book at a time to get the best experience, and with school and assigned reading, I have no time for guilty pleasures like just reading on my own. if I could I would, but reading two books at the same time just sends a shiver down my spine and makes my shoulders hunch, like yeah a lot of people do it but me?? never.

two, i keep going to bookstores, and my book list keeps mounting, so I go to the bookstores, I take the books, and with the mounting copies of actual books I have yet to read, the new books get piled unto the old ones I still haven't read and so we continue like that, its a vicious cycle!!

three, time is of essence and i seem to just be gradually running out of essence. if I'm lucky I can spend my nights reading, and if I'm not, well whos going to stop me? (apart from the people in my head begging for rest lolll)

four, i reread books!! for the sake of nostalgia and going back to my roots and knowing what got me here!! and I can't just stop in the middle of one book and pick up another, I have to finish the book and when I do there has to be a grace period in between finished books unless its a sequel and even then I feel like I have to process the book before moving on. my current dilemma is that I'm reading a series called 'The Beautiful' and the author has only come out with 2 books of the series, it might just be the last book but I wouldn't know! I haven't finished it!! also I may have misplaced it and don't know where it is.

[songmingisthighs]

Fire of My Passion

group : ateez

pairing : poly dragon!ateez × reader, dragon!seonghwa × reader

genre : angst, fantasy, mature

word count : 13.2k

warning : slight gore (murder, abuse), death threat, murder intent, depiction of attacks and casualties, mentions of people getting hurt, psychological anguish

a/n : this is a fic based on @thelargefrye 's dragon!ateez universe !! honestly i really love the fics, i've been recommending it everywhere. if you haven't checked it, please read them first before you read this >:) you can find the dragon!ateez fics here here (m, mdni) here (m, mdni) AND BY THE WAY SMALLS IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SUCH A LONG FUCKING WHILE IDK WHAT I WAS DOING ASOGHOSIGOSIJ I STARTED BULLSHITTING AND I CAN'T STOP

There were things that Seonghwa was used to; calm surroundings, his books in the library, his mates, and his clan. Everything was in order, as it should be since generations before and he loves it. This castle is his home, his sanctuary, where his past happened and where he will establish his future. All were as they are supposed to be.

That was until you came.

"Sunyeol, no!"

Just the sound of your voice was enough to ruin his whole day.

The voices made Seonghwa snap his head to see you running after a hatchling not too far behind him, a little boy named Sunyeol who was holding something in his hand, running past him with glee while you were in tow. Less than three months ago, Seonghwa didn't have to worry about being aware of things around him when he sleeps as the clan was secure in the mountains but now, his mates were sleeping with someone who could potentially kill them without having to lift a finger. How will his ancestors react upon learning that he and his mates, high-ranking members of their clan, were sleeping with the enemy and have mated with the enemy and even brought said enemy to their home, their little safe haven? To be frank, Seonghwa didn't know which part was worse but he resented himself for not preventing you from being admitted into their lives. Because as usual, the witches do whatever they want and everyone was simply supposed to go along with it despite the pain and anguish. So imagine his fury when he saw members of his clan being happy with you. He hated it. He hated YOU so much.

Seonghwa's steps halted when he saw you cornering the boy and alarms started blaring off in his head. The scene was just too reminiscent of the countless murders of both adults and hatchlings in his life. "Alright, Sunyeol, you give me my stone back or else," it was obvious (to you and the hatchling at least) that you were being playful, it was nothing but a ruse to make things fun and the hatchling looked very much happy and engaged, "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way," each step you took made Seonghwa's heart beat louder in his chest, ringing in his arms like drums, "And we both know we don't want me using the hard way," the smirk on your face was menacing to him, it was a sign of threat. At that point, Seonghwa was no longer even looking at Sunyeol, his eyes transfixed on you, on how you were preying on that little hatchling boy.

In a flash, Seonghwa had you pinned onto the wall, his arm pressing onto your chest suffocatingly in a diagonal angle, using his sleeve to separate you from him because he couldn't imagine the disgust, the utter uncleanness, the absolute filth on your skin latching onto him. "Is that your ploy, witch?" Seonghwa's eyes narrowed as he glared at you with seething hatred, the pure anger that his eyes conveyed was enough to have your stomach sink in fear. "You come here, you pretend to be this nice little witch when the truth is you were just waiting for the opportunity to erase our entire existence, right? And this is how you start? From our precious hatchlings?" smoke started coming out of Seonghwa's mouth and fear struck you deeply. You were confused because you were playing with a hatchling, helping Mingi with his duties one second, and the next thing you know, you were about to die in the hands of a high-ranking dragon for being playful. You tried to claw his arm off of you, desperately trying to get oxygen back into your lungs, but it was apparent from his grip that Seonghwa's aim was to kill as he was seconds away from murdering you.

Had it not been for Sunyeol's cries, asking Seonghwa not to hurt you, you would have surely lost your life that moment. Even when the boy was brazenly tugging on Seonghwa's shirt harshly, screaming at the top of his lungs to let you go as tears streamed down his chubby cheeks, Seonghwa still hesitated to let you go. In his head, he was only thinking of the fact that he might not get a chance like this anymore, to get you in such a vulnerable place that he could just take your life so easily. But the sound of the boy's cries seemed to remind him that he couldn't just make a decision about not only his but his other mates' mate single-handedly. Surely the council will disapprove and his mates (the ones that like you at least no matter the small number), will have his head on a stick.

With resolve wavering (as much as he hated to admit it), Seonghwa let you go, pushing you off to the floor where you croak, struggling to breathe despite being able to feel the oxygen fill your lungs again. With a last glare sent your way, Seonghwa turned on his heels to leave but not before reassuringly patting Sunyeol on his head.

Truly, Seonghwa had no idea as to how and why would his kind be so accepting and understanding of your kind. Since they were merely hatchlings, they were already warned about what witches do, what they were capable of. Cautionary tales of how witches put enchantments on dragon folks lure them to their dwellings and make them turn into their dragon form before killing them. Their scales were sold as armour to dragon hunters, their teeth turned into necklaces that serves as wards with runes on them or ornaments like trophies in their homes, their blood drained to be used as an elixir or potion, and the rest of them were either put on display as a reminder of what they managed to kill, unable to get eternal rest or let just thrown away carelessly as if they were nothing. Those who were killed like that died a gruesome death with the lucky ones got to die in their human form. Seonghwa could never forget the time Hongjoong burned down an entire village filled with dragon hunters when he saw his father's dragon bones propped in the square as if he was nothing more than a statue while his mother and brother were killed in front of it. How he took his family who were already gone, into his strong talons and stayed there as everything burned around him. That day Hongjoong unwillingly became the clan's leader, shouldering the burden and the pain that he was yet to be ready for.

You can ask anyone and they'd say that Park Seonghwa is benevolent, he is kind and understanding, and he is compassionate. But he truly drew the line at you and your kind. He would never forgive you for just entering their lives and messing things up. Things might seem okay and good now, but he knew that the likes of you would only bring pain and misery to their lives, he knew it. It's hard being someone who can see things clearly but not wanting to mess things up as too much was on the line.

For now, all he could do was keep an eye on you and prepare for when he needed to defend himself and his mates, his clan. He'd give his life for them but moreover, he'd take your life to salvage them.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Thankfully for Seonghwa, you spent the next several days cowering in the shadows. He walked around in pride whenever he saw you clutching your chest when you saw him before turning around on your heels and running away. Usually, you'd be walking around with Wooyoung or Yeosang, Mingi would only be around you when you were working with him and he convinced himself that it was simply because he saw you as nothing more than a coworker, nothing romantic. But the three seemed to know nothing which means you hadn't told them that Seonghwa almost killed you. To that, Seonghwa gave you trust points for not being a tattle tale.

It felt refreshing not seeing your face so often as before. One might even able to see the little spring in Seonghwa's steps and the slight smile that was returning after months of not seeing it.

But of course, all good things must come to an end.

One fateful day, after the sun has long set and the halls of the castle was illuminated by candle lights, Seonghwa walked out of the library to be met with the sound of hurried steps.

"Hyung, they came! They fucking came!" San cried out, panting when he reached Seonghwa with Yunho next to him, looking equally distraught. Confused, Seonghwa looked at San and Yunho with clear confusion in his face, "Whoah, whoah, whoah, calm down there," despite his calmer tone, Seonghwa felt uneasy from how his two mates were acting. "Dragon hunters attacked the border residence, we have casualties," the words that left Yunho's mouth froze Seonghwa's body.

He didn't remember what he said, he didn't even remember moving because when he came to, he was at the place where the hunters attacked. A good dozen were being treated for trap wounds, cuts and bruises, and not far from where they were, five bodies covered in white cloth laid still. People were crying over their burnt houses and while there were only two burning houses, it was two to many.

"Where are they?" Seonghwa's voice was eerily calm and stern, an absolute darkness filled his aura and both San and Yunho could feel it. "They ran off to the woods, we have three patrols chasing after them," that was all Seonghwa needed from San for him to transform and chase after the hunters himself. It wasn't hard for him at all as his eyes managed to catch their thermal signature and they were mocking the dragons they killed, obnoxiously yelling how the tip was worth the gold they spent and it just angered Seonghwa even more.

Moments passed like a second and the next thing Seonghwa knew, he reemerged from the forest drenched in the blood of the hunters he just... exterminated. His eyes was golden and face hard, wildness and fury apparent and for a moment he seemed soulless, like a simple sentient being whose job was to kill and had no remorse nor any emotions whatsoever. Not even San nor Yunho dared to got close to him as they didn't know how Seonghwa might react. Heck, they didn't even know what was going on in Seonghwa's mind as he walked past them towards the castle. Neither of them would have guessed nor expected for Seonghwa to immediately target one person in particular.

You.

Dripping blood, he was making a trail everywhere but he didn't care. No, he couldn't care less about the mess he made. He was going to do what he should have done from the beginning. He should have protected his kind, he should have protected his mate, he should have made sure that you had no chance to hurt them even for a bit.

Luckily for him (but unluckily for you), he saw you walking from the path in the garden, seemingly coming out from the forrest it led to. And everything clicked in his head. You were the one who tipped the hunters in the first place. You were the cause of the despair that befell them. You were everything Seonghwa thought you were and more.

Just as you stepped back into the castle, Seonghwa ambushed you, pushing you off of the steps and out onto the grass. The impact didn't wound you but it surely knocked the breath out of your lungs, causing you to choke as you tried to retrieve the oxygen that was oh so harshly forced out of your body. "I should have killed you when I had the chance," Seonghwa's voice was cold as ice, void of any emotion and it frightened you. You began scrambling backwards only for Seonghwa to take steps closer to you and it was only when the moonlight hit him that you realized that he was drenched in blood. "How could you?" He caught up easily and grabbed you by the hair, pulling you up as you hiss in pain, "What could you have possibly benefitted from killing innocent people?" When you were at eye-level with him, you were able to take notice of the tears brimming in his eyes, some had dropped onto his cheek and mixed with the blood before pooling on his sharp chin. "We let you stay with us and this is the thanks we get? You tipping those hunters where we live and letting them attack us? Attack the people who are precious to us? The innocent people whom we swore to protect and you made us break our promise for what? What did they promise you?" At this point, the hand that gripped your hair had moved to the side of your head as his other hand gripped the other side with his thumbs on your cheeks, smearing blood that penetrated your nostril harshly but it wasn't as bad as the pressure Seonghwa was putting on your skull. "S-Seonghwa," you whimpered, your hands gripping his in an attempt to pry him off of you. The tears in your eyes did nothing to stop Seonghwa from trying to crush your skull. He was in anguish, he was mourning, he was betrayed and he didn't even have his trust in you in the first place. So how could he have let this happen?

Your fingers had begun scratching his hand as you cried for him to let you go, begging to not kill you while proclaiming that you did nothing, that you didn't know what he was talking about. But he didn't care, he didn't want to care anymore because he was hurt, he was angry, he wanted to punish you for what you did because how dare you deny the truth when it was so glaring?

"P-please Seonghwa, don't k-kill me," you cried, managing to grab his thumb and still trying your best to remove his grip on you. "I didn't do anything." "I should have killed you the second you stepped into this place, I should have killed you like you deserved after exterminating us like vermin." Emotions were running too wildly in Seonghwa, every emotion that he never realized he had were running through his body like crazy, controlling his mind and action to the point that he didn't even realize that he was crying hard at that point. Though tears blurred his vision, he was still able to see the look of absolute fear on your face.

Your brain was swirling with ideas on how to escape the situation because the last thing you wanted was to die in the hands of your mate's mate. And then you got the idea, you found your escape.

"T-think about Y-yeosang a-and Wooyoung! Think of how much," you momentarily paused to adjust to the feeling of Seonghwa's fingers digging into your skull and you were sure that it was permanently dented. At the mention of his mates, Seonghwa seemed to come to momentarily. The grip loosened slightly but his hands were still caging your head so while it gave you a little bit of hope that you'd be able to keep your life. "Think o-of how much they'll resent you if you were the one to make me disappear," it was apparent that your tactic was working, Seonghwa's sharp nails slowly relaxed from your scalp, allowing you feel the sting from the breeze that brushed through your hair. "Let me make myself disappear, that way they'll hate me and not you and it'll be much easier for them to move on.

Your words struck Seonghwa rather deeply as he considered your words, thinking that you had a point and he'd get an easy out with his mates. As someone who was always level-headed, Seonghwa was rather surprised at himself for being taken over almost completely by his emotions and even more so that he was even considering listening to you. It was truly a cursed day and the quicker you were gone, the quicker he can move on and forget about how shitty it is.

When Seonghwa's hand let your head go, you finally realized how warm his touch was because as soon as he let go of you, the breeze blew rather harshly and goosebumps rose on your skin. Or maybe it was the realization of what just happened, you were going to have to leave your boys without saying goodbye. Technically speaking, it was just Yeosang and Wooyoung and probably Mingi, but you think it was better for your sanity to believe that the only reason Mingi would miss you was that now he didn't have anyone to help him with the hatchlings. And God, leaving the hatchlings that you had grown so close with. Just as a couple of them proclaimed their love for you because they thought you were so cool and kind and loving and they wanted to see more of your grimoire, Weiss. How were you going to move past this life? The life that you never expected but found to love despite the obstacles in every way. How were you going to survive waking up all alone when you've been so accustomed to waking up with Wooyoung and/or Yeosang in bed with you. Their dragon warmth that could not be replicated no matter how much you asked Weiss (because he didn't want you to accidentally burn him) helped you through rainy days and anxiety-filled nights. It was one of your favourite things about them and they'd be more than happy to provide it to you. But over anything else, you can't believe you were leaving them just because your life was on the line.

Just as you were about to say your goodbyes to Seonghwa (not that he was going to care, but it was just polite that way), when he suddenly grabbed you by the neckline of your top, pulling you close to his face so he could speak lowly with his teeth bared and body vibrating. "I'm letting you off for now but make sure I can't find you, you hear me? I'm letting you off because I don't want Yeosang and Wooyoung to hate me for killing you no matter how fun it would be. Because believe me when I say that I have made a list of how to kill you in an excruciatingly painful and slow way that you would actually much rather kill yourself than have me spend my precious time and energy on you," each word was like a stab to your gut but the pain it inflicted was nothing compared to the fact that you actually believed him. Genuinely, you know for sure that he wouldn't hesitate if you gave him the chance.

Seonghwa then pushed you by your chest, not so hard that you fell but just enough to send you reeling slightly, stumbling before running off into the darkness in the woods. The last thing you remembered was Seonghwa's golden eyes turning back to their normal dark brown colour shining in the darkness as he returned to the castle. It was all you could think of as you travelled through the safety of the shadows that the trees cast, thinking that even if Seonghwa were to send his dragon guards at you, you'd still be able to feel the safety of the idea of being hidden so organically.

You must've run beyond your strength because the next thing you know, you stumbled down a hill and you fell rolling down. The impact all over your body seemed to bring your realization back a little because when you finally landed limply on the clearing of the meadow at the bottom of the hill, everything came crashing down to you. How you were so close to losing your life in the hands of your mate's mate, how you were accused of doing something you didn't even understand or know and weren't given a chance to defend yourself or even to provide your point of view, how you selfishly traded your love for your own life like a coward, and how you might not be able to see your mates again anymore. It was only then and there that you cried, your throat turned raw when you screamed out of agony. The pain of falling down and your ankle twisting was nothing compared to the pain of being separated from your mates and you couldn't even imagine what Yeosang and Wooyoung would wake up to, how they would react. For now, you for sure know that they'd have nothing but hatred towards you and you were willing to burden it all if it meant that they would be kept safe. Maybe Seonghwa was right, maybe whatever happened was your fault somehow, maybe you brought them bad luck or maybe there was a reason that you couldn't even think of at that moment. But you stood firm on your resolve that you were doing this for your boys, for them all.

As painful as it was for you, you wiped the tears off your cheeks and stood up straight, letting the pain all over your body drive you by reminding you of what was important. You could still see the castle where you had resided for more or less three months, the towers were slightly covered by trees but you could never mistake it, and you could never forget what it look like. But you couldn't focus on reminiscing now, not when you can't shake Seonghwa's accusation that you were the cause of their despair. So with a shaky breath, you cleared your mind and summoned Weiss who opened itself up for you with no question as your hands raised.

"Let's get to work."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The past three weeks had been hell for everyone in the castle, especially for the residence. It was nothing like Seonghwa expected whatsoever. He had thought that by eliminating you, their lives would be much different and for the best. Never could he have imagined that the situation was much more complicated and dire.

"How is he?" Hongjoong asked, looking tired and stressed.

The head healer sighed and shook her head much to his and Seonghwa's disappointment. "Well, what do you know?" Although Hongjoong tried to sound confident, it was obvious that he was beyond worried, there was a slight quiver that indicated fear and while other people couldn't have noticed it, Seonghwa knew Hongjoong well enough that he was truly fearing for their newest addition. "Well... He's... Mourning, sir, the simplest explanation is that he was separated from his mate for too long that his mental state just... Broke," she explained timidly in a slightly bowed stance as to avoid Hongjoong and Seonghwa's gaze. At the mention of Wooyoung's mate, Seonghwa's body froze slightly, it was as if his body was involuntarily reacting to the trigger word or words in this case, immediately reminded of the scene where he drove you away by threatening to kill you. As far as Seonghwa knows, nobody else knew about that incident, no one knew he had almost destroyed you that night and that he didn't even see where you had gone to. He was just glad that you were gone. This, however, the news that Wooyoung suffered a mental break and Yeosang became so weak that he injured himself in a patrol was something Seonghwa didn't expect. In all honesty, he felt bad, he felt as if he was responsible, but he didn't want to believe that it was his fault so he put those thoughts on the back burner, trying to focus on how to better the situation instead.

The explanation didn't make Hongjoong feel better though as he couldn't really comprehend what is it that made Wooyoung experience such a devastating break. He tried looking at the two assistant healers but they too were avoiding his gaze as best as they could. "That's stupid," Hongjoong groaned in frustration, hands rubbing at his face harshly, "The oracle said he's our mate and if you haven't figured it out yet he's with his mates right now so you must be wrong!" he growled, terrifying the healers but didn't let them respond as he turned and walked away, yelling to them one last time, "You better come up with a better explanation and treatment plan for him!"

With a last glance spared to Wooyoung's bedroom as the healers reentered, letting the sound of Wooyoung moaning and crying in pain escape, Seonghwa followed behind Hongjoong. Maybe it was best for him to tell Hongjoong what he did, what he had done to Wooyoung's... mate. No matter how much they denied that a dragon could mate with a witch, they have to consider that fact now, especially with Yeosang's incessant and teary attempt of convincing them. The mood in the castle had gone down considerably and at a pretty drastic speed. One could argue that it was the stress of handling the dragon hunter issue and rebuilding the ruined houses and also calming the people down, ensuring their safety with double the patrols which obviously took time to assemble and set their working schedule. It was a miracle that all of them were still functional even though barely. Though, Hongjoong's dedication of time and effort to accommodate the situation was proven fruitful as they have yet to see nor sense another attack from dragon hunters. The patrolmen hadn't even sensed witches or their runes or potions around, meaning that it was more likely than not safe for them. Hongjoong and the others took this as a win as one issue is at least resolved. For now.

Other than Wooyoung and Yeosang, Mingi seemed to receive the third biggest hit. It had been a while since Seonghwa saw him practice his sword skills, abusing the life out of the dummy they usually use for practice and even managing to break three with a wooden sword for practice. As a carer of the hatchlings, Mingi was never expected to be the best in fighting as his main priority was protection over the little ones. While basic fighting skills were needed in order to protect the hatchlings if needed, none of them had ever seen Mingi letting out so much frustration and emotion which made him look terrifying. Thankfully, the children would provide him with some comfort, allowing him to still feel some semblance of warmth as he took care of them but once his duty ended, he would... clam up and go back to his sword practice. Yunho, San, and Jongho on the other hand looked detached even during their duties. While their quality of work wasn't affected, their mood does and it made them even more unapproachable, especially with the glare that Jongho and San would give to the other patrolmen. Yunho would more often than not venture off by himself, excusing it as him wanting to check something out by himself before involving the others.

"I went to the Oracle again," Hongjoong sighed as he and Seonghwa reached a secluded part of the castle, "I... Asked them about this whole thing," with his back against the cold stone wall, Hongjoong was able to lean his head back and just closed his eyes. Seonghwa sidled close next to him, his hand circled and rested on Hongjoong's hips to pull him close, the sudden act made Hongjoong open his eyes to look at his mate before accepting and just letting him get as close as he want. "What whole thing?" Seonghwa asked, his thumb began rubbing on Hongjoong's hips gently in an attempt to comfort the man. "Apparently... It was true," Hongjoong's head dropped to rest on Seonghwa's shoulder, feeling the absolute weight of responsibility burdening him so heavily that it was as if he could crumble then and there, "(y/n)... She's our last mate," an incredulous scoff escaped Hongjoong's mouth as if the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. Almost immediately, Seonghwa's body tensed up and froze, not believing his ears. "Yeah, I was surprised too," Hongjoong nuzzled his head deeper into the crook of Seonghwa's neck with his eyes closing once again, "What are we supposed to do? That little witch ran away and now once again we're left with cleaning her mess. How are we supposed to make sure that Yeosang and Wooyoung will be okay? They have truly mated with her so they're suffering greatly," Seonghwa felt Hongjoong lifting his head up slightly and when he looked down, he saw his strong leader's eyes brimming with tears, a rare occurrence that truly broke his heart, "How are we going to help them, Seonghwa? Why can I protect everyone else but them?" Seonghwa was quick to envelop the man in a tight hug despite he himself slowly becoming affected by his mate's words, he knew he had to be strong so Hongjoong could momentarily falter.

"Don't you even worry," Seonghwa said firmly, unknowingly using his own words to convince himself as well, "We're gonna get through this. We're going to be okay."

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to anyone else, Yunho had taken it upon himself to venture off again. He had been feeling something... odd in certain areas, as if something was calling for him, wanting to be found and rescued by him.

It was odd.

Every day, Yunho woke up to the feeling of wanting to venture a little bit further out than his usual patrol would take. There was something about the hills that called to him but every single time he got closer, he found himself walking back to the clan. And each time he returned to his people, there was a sense of longing and sorrow. Today, however, he woke up and sense that he felt different than the previous days. He couldn't quite explain it, but he sensed that whoever or whatever it was that was calling him is reachable now. So he rushed to the path that called onto him, fully hoping to see something new, some kind of explanation.

What Yunho didn't expect, however, was the sound of a mountain troll roaring followed by the sound of branches crunching but louder. Immediately, Yunho got into his battle stance, thinking that the troll sensed his presence and wanted him gone from the area. His ear and thermal sensors were able to pick up where the beast was coming from and where it was headed easily. However, what intrigued him was another signature that was much smaller and seemed familiar. It was only when he saw you being thrown to the ground by the mountain troll as if you were nothing but a book.

"Fuck," You groaned, trying to get up and running away but the monster grabbed you by the leg and dragged you closer to it. You were already so weak from trying to run away from the brute, and it was getting so frustrating and hopeless as you were a lot smaller and weaker than the thing. To be frank, you could've taken Weiss out and performed magic to daze the monster so you could make your escape but that would be counterproductive as it would leave a signature and you were trying to not get caught or found by anyone. So equipped with only your with and your desperation to survive, you tried your best to pry the hand of the monster off of you by throwing whatever your hands could grab from the ground at it. But it was no use, it had no effect whatsoever and it even looked unbothered. A loud cry was ripped out of your throat when you felt its claws sink into your skin, to ensure that you wouldn't go anywhere and it was then that you realized that you were facing the last moments of your life without having your task completed.

Thankfully, Yunho stepped in just as the troll was about to drag you by your injured leg to its dwelling, possibly to be torn apart and eaten by its group. With unmatched strength and clean movements, Yunho easily sliced the monster's arm off of you and sent it running to the other side, growling, howling, and injured. Yunho could've run after it to finish the job like how he was trained to do, but he was more worried about you. When he turned his back to offer you some help, you weren't where you initially were and it made Yunho panic slightly as he hadn't even gotten the chance to talk to you. His eyes darted around to see you limping away in the direction from which you were running away from. "Hey!" Yunho called out, jogging to catch up with you easily as you were injured and he was not human.

To be quite honest, Yunho actually felt glad that he saw you again after a long while. There was a sense of relief that came with seeing and confirming that it was indeed you; his chest felt lighter as if a weight has been lifted off and he actually felt... happy. Said happiness was ripped away from him however when he first noticed that you weren't where you were on the ground. "What are you doing?" his hands shot out as you stumbled slightly, situating them near your body so if you were to fall, he could catch you, "We should be getting you back to the castle! You're injured!" he exclaimed, cringing when he saw your bloodied leg that you still forcibly use to stand. It felt odd for him to be so nice to you especially since your nice gestures had been reciprocated with nothing but disdain and rejection from him for months.

Much to his surprise, you barely spared him a glance as you shook your head whilst simultaneously producing Weiss into the open air. Oh, how the tables have turned. "Go away, Yunho, I have important work to do," ouch. "Like hell you do, you need to be taken care of right now," your stubbornness was almost endearing to Yunho at that moment as it reminded him of his mates, specifically Hongjoong. It was no secret that the leader has his priorities set on his pride and his pride only so more often than not, they were forced to use force on their leader to make sure that he gets his rest. So out of instinct, Yunho held your elbows so he could usher you to the castle to get some help and hopefully some answers. But his heart stopped in his chest when he felt you slap his hands away as you turned to look at him. Yunho's eyes widened at the impact, completely stunned and surprised. You were glaring at him but he could see that it wasn't hatred, not from how your bottom lip was trembling and tears were brimming in your eyes. "Don't make this harder than it has to Yunho, go away," you said before turning around and going back to "work" just a little bit further away from Yunho.

Yunho followed suit and he was about to scold you for not wanting his help when he watched what you were doing. Your hands moved in almost a graceful manner, going into your pocket and producing a white powder to spread on the grassy ground as you recite a spell. Slowly, a translucent film-like barrier appeared from the place where the powder was spread and up to the sky. He didn't know how tall it was, but he had a good idea of what it exactly was. "You put up a barrier to keep us inside," Yunho muttered as his eyes slowly trailed from the barrier down to you who had moved further away to continue the process. "Were you trying to imprison us?" the question had no malice in them but the way he immediately thought the worse of you made you flinch slightly, "Of course not, if I wanted to do that, Wooyoung wouldn't have been able to visit my cottage," you sighed before continuing your work. Immediately, Yunho's eyes widened at your revelation, "How did you know that? Have you been spying on us?" again, he didn't mean any harm, it was just that he was in such a state of shock that it caused him to have a poor choice of language. Still, you didn't know that and it still hurt. "No, I was never spying on you all. I was making sure that you all were safe from hunters," you planned on concluding your explanation there, clapping your hands to get the remnants of powder off before limping away.

Of course, your exit was not made easy. Yunho grabbed your arm and turned you to him, this time looking at you with genuine worry in his eyes. "(y/n) please, come back with me to the castle, you need help from the healers!"

You had been hoping for months that one of them other than Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Mingi would reach out to you and asked you to stay just as Yunho was doing. But you couldn't shake off the fear Seonghwa had struck you. You couldn't even go back to living in your cottage as you were afraid that he might find you just to make sure that you were really gone or that Wooyoung or Yeosang might find you and brought you back or even just told him that they saw you back in your cottage. You couldn't risk it and you couldn't risk going to your mother's place as they could sense the dragon off of you and they might enchant you to tell them where they were. So you hid in plain sight, you set up camp in the meadows, right where you fell off after your encounter with Seonghwa and stayed there even after your barrier was set up and it was a good thing that you did because, during the past three weeks, several hunters got close to the area and you had to drive them away with enchantments and monsters ran rampage that almost broke the ward in the barrier. You had pride in your work, everyone inside was not able to look past it and those outside can't peek in except for you. If they even thought of venturing past, the barrier would incept their minds and lead them to go back to the clan instead. Of course, they were able to go out past the barrier, but not from the front entrance that you set which was the area of your camp, they were very much welcome to use the path past the river. You mostly patrol the front entrance and every once in a while, you were able to see some of them with other patrolmen. Mostly Yunho and Jongho, but you remembered seeing Yeosang and how weak he looked just three days after you left. You really wanted to hold him, hug him, tell him that you were sorry for leaving without saying anything but it was for his own good. And then you saw Wooyoung in your cottage. You didn't mean to follow him per se, you were just making sure that in his frantic state, the hunters wouldn't find him or he wouldn't do anything stupid. You even had to enchant him to go back and that was the last time you saw him.

It took everything in you to not give up and tell Yunho everything; what had happened and most importantly, how much you wanted to go back home to them, be with them. But you couldn't. You don't belong there with them.

"I'm sorry Yunho," you whispered. Before he could ask what you meant, you had placed your fingers on his temple, the touch allowed your powers to permeate Yunho's mind and sent him into a frozen state. You could feel his consciousness lowering ever so slightly as you recite the spell that would make him think that this was a dream and send him home. Yunho could feel it, your magic coursing through him and it felt warm, it felt nothing like what his elders told him a witch's magic was like. As you and him connected on that deep of a level, unbeknownst to you, Yunho was able to feel your pain, fear, longing, and love that wasn't just for Wooyoung and Yeosang, but for every single one of them including his clan. It was his first taste of pure and genuine love and devotion and he felt safe in it. Just before Yunho lost consciousness completely, he said something that surprised you as it was the first time someone had managed to peek out from your mind spell. "W-What about Yeosang? What about Wooyoung? They- we, we need you." A soft, sad smile appeared on your face and you shook your head at him, deciding to say something that you had no idea he would take to heart completely.

"He'll be fine. They both will, take care of them for me please."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The guilt was eating Seonghwa inside and out.

It had been a week since Hongjoong's revelation that you were supposedly their mate too and he felt like he was going insane. Days spent putting out one fire after the other with Hongjoong but thankfully it wasn't literal fire like the ones before. The things he had to handle were mostly over his mates being so unfocused they made mistakes in their jobs. San accidentally hurt himself during patrol, gashing his own leg by mistake when he tripped and fell down the stairs so harsh he had to be put to rest for two days. Jongho looked so worn out that he actually broke down crying one night to Seonghwa, saying that he didn't feel quite right and it was exhausting knowing something's wrong but not knowing where to start fixing it. Yeosang and Wooyoung were still in the same state; Yeosang's weak with cheeks hollowed, lifeless as he remained catatonic in his bed while Wooyoung reached a new level of despair; only saying "(y/n) please come back, i need you," as he made numerous attempts to travel out of the castle to find you only to pass out not even three steps from the garden. Frankly the only functional ones were Mingi and Yunho, keeping up with their duties while filling in wherever they were needed. Yunho was especially surprising because he suddenly spend his nights in Wooyoung's room, accompanying and making sure that he was okay before leaving to rest himself.

But everyone had their limits and this was it for Seonghwa.

He couldn't admit this before but he felt that his chest was hollow, his heart beating without his heart being there and his passion diminishing. Even Hongjoong took notice of this when he noticed Seonghwa slowly skipping his meals and remained to himself for the majority of the time, not saying anything when it wasn't truly dire. This, of course, led to fights between the two eldest as Hongjoong was afraid that he would be the last one standing, holding onto every last bit of remaining sanity in the group desperately while his partner was reduced to something similar to Yeosang. Seonghwa kept trying to convince Hongjoong (and himself) by repeating over and over again that he wouldn't, that he had a better grip on his sanity and control over his urges than Yeosang because he had never done the mating ritual with you. But of course, what he neglected to tell Hongjoong was the fact that he was so guilt-ridden that he has been functioning on anxiety for a couple of days and he had been travelling outside for a bit every day in hopes to see you. For the first time ever, Seonghwa was actually disappointed that he didn't see you anywhere near the castle and not even your cottage every time he checked there.

You truly did believe that he would end you and somehow he disliked that. The idea sent a bitter taste to his mouth like poison or rancid meat.

Now, however, he had to put his feelings and stress aside because he had to deal with Wooyoung who had once again left his bedroom without anyone noticing to venture out of the castle in search of you. With frantic steps, Seonghwa looked for Wooyoung, hoping that he'd be in the garden where you and he once spent hours cultivating and replanting herbs to be used or studied, or in the library where you spent the whole night reading dragon folklore to Wooyoung while stroking his hair, or even in the kitchen where you two stole cookies in broad daylight as a challenge to see if either of you were as subtle as you claimed. It surprised Seonghwa how he know so much about your behaviour yet claimed that he had no care for you whatsoever. Maybe he had been too stubborn to admit the fact that despite your identity, the connection was truly there and it was strong. His stubbornness also exists within the actions that he made namely not telling anyone else that Wooyoung had once again made a crazy escape in a very unwell state because he thought that as the oldest and the second in command, the last thing he needed to do was to involve people who were resting and made it seem like he couldn't handle certain issues by himself. God forbid that.

Suddenly Seonghwa remembered where you would sometimes take Wooyoung when you couldn't find the herbs you needed to make your (demonic mind control) potion. "Shit, he better not be there," despite his complaining, Seonghwa transformed as he jumped up to fly to where he thought Wooyoung might be. It was at the bottom of the hill where there were tons of stumps where mushrooms could grow freely and due to the type of wood growing in the area, there was one type of mushroom, a special and rare one, that could either heal someone's ailments and clean the body or kill them when consumed incorrectly. He remembered you talking about that because you had once prepared the drink for Seonghwa after he spent two weeks dealing with an issue with the neighbouring clan and was so close to passing out. Of course, back then he accused you of trying to murder him and slapped the glass off your hands harshly so that there was a large red mark on your skin for the next couple of days. Ironically, when he did pass out, he was brought back to good health by your mushroom incense which made him throw up all the toxins and fatigue that accumulated in his body from his neglecting it so bad which to stay true to his hatred towards you, he claimed that his body was rejecting whatever it was you used to incapacitate him and decided to just be better so he could fight you off.

From the sky, Seonghwa could barely see anything through the thick trees but he tried his best to sense Wooyoung. After all, he was weak and slow, it shouldn't be too hard to locate him. It wasn't until he heard sobs and a voice calling out for your name so brokenheartedly that Seonghwa dove down and transformed as he reached to ground to see Wooyoung lying on the dirty ground limply as his hands tried to pull the grass so he could crawl to his destination. Seeing him like this made Seonghwa's eyes water and his heart clench so painfully harshly that he thought it might stop beating. This was all his doing, it was all his fault for making a single-handed decision out of his sheer stubbornness and trauma, incapable of considering the fact that his mates might have been right about you because he thought he knew best.

"Wooyoung," he called out, wiping the tears that were cascading down his cheeks as he crouched down near the man who looked so broken and lost and abandoned. Wooyoung didn't even acknowledge Seonghwa's presence, he kept trying his best to pull himself forward more but the lack of strength in his body did nothing but gave him frustration. "Wooyoung," Seonghwa tried calling him again, his voice cracking slightly as he grabbed the younger dragon by the shoulders to stop him from moving more and potentially hurting him. The sight of his dirty, tattered shirt was something Seonghwa didn't look forward to finding out. To his surprise, Wooyoung was able to shrug his grasp off of him, making his escape by using whatever was left in him to stand up. "I need to see (y/n)," he croaked, lifeless eyes staring forward at seemingly nothing, "She needs me, she's calling for me," though he said with little to no facial muscle movement, the tears that sprung from his eyes indicated just how desperate he was.

The thought of scooping Wooyoung and simply taking him away flashed in Seonghwa's head. It would be so easy to just grab him and take him away, God knows it would be best for the both of them. But Seonghwa felt in his gut that he wouldn't be able to cope with the knowledge that he has once again done something that was against what his mate wanted. Another thought flashed in Seonghwa's head, was he about to let his mate do something that could potentially end his life? Not on his watch. So how was he going to convince Wooyoung to return home?

Seonghwa's deep thoughts were cut short when he heard rustles coming from the darkness in front of them and soon cloaked figures emerged from the shadows. The second they stepped close enough, Seonghwa could smell the stench on them, the stench of dead dragons. "Dragon hunters," he muttered to himself, highly alert and swiftly pulling Wooyoung back against him. It didn't even matter to him that Wooyoung was thrashing like crazy, sounds and words from Wooyoung's mouth muddled together, making him incoherent. While this just made Seonghwa panic more, as his brain immediately thought of ways how he could get both himself and the inconsolable younger dragon out of there safely, the hunters seemed to find Seonghwa's state of panic highly amusing.

One of the hunters took his hood down to reveal his face which was half hidden by a headpiece made from intricately placed dragon scales with sections that go down his jaw to his chin decorated with dragon teeth. It was highly disrespectful to wear the carcass of such majestic creatures like that but of course, those hunters don't care, the more ridiculous they looked the higher regard they got from their fellow hunters.

"Looks like we have our work half done for us, boys. We can get the crazy one to the Head of the Coven and have her turn him into a puppet for children's show or for the circus," he laughed with boisterous laughter following after him. "The taller one we can use for accessories. Did you see the colour of his scales? We'll make bank with a lot left for ourselves," the hunter's eyes zeroed in on Seonghwa as if Seonghwa was a treasure that he had been looking for.

Horror struck Seonghwa and dread washes over his body at the mention of his dragon form. It was his fault that the hunters found them, he led them here because he couldn't be bothered to take the hard way and be discreet as he looked for Wooyoung. Not to mention his stubbornness and need to prove himself that led to him not alerting the others that Wooyoung was gone and that he needed help was going to be the reason his other mates will blame themselves if anything were to happen to them both.

"Get them, but make sure you don't nick their skins, I want to make sure we can get the best price," the same man said simply, cockily looking down at Seonghwa and Wooyoung as if he was sure that he was going to get the both of them. His confidence effectively struck his companions positively as they soon took menacing steps forward, seemingly to corner Seonghwa. Between making sure he had a secure grip on Wooyoung and trying to find a way to escape, Seonghwa couldn't even estimate the number of hunters around them. Were there more? Are they surrounded? What weapons do they have? Which clan did they come from? What do they want? There were thousands of questions running through Seonghwa's head which didn't help with him concocting a way to escape.

For some reason, Seonghwa was calling to you in his head. It was odd, he didn't know what it was exactly that you could've done and to be quite frank, he had always mocked you for it, calling you useless and unnecessary because he couldn't be bothered to learn about your power. Despite that, he was calling for you in his head because he had a feeling that you would know what to do to deal with the hunters and even how to deal with Wooyoung and perhaps even calm him down a little. The grip Seonghwa had on Wooyoung was trembling slightly, he was slowly consumed with uncertainty and anxiety and he feared that the hunters must have had something on them that made Seonghwa feel like so. According to their words, they must have had witches living among them and they have been helping these hunters capture dragons. He could only assume that those witches are powerful too because Seonghwa felt his legs trembling and his chest tightening, he was slowly being overcome with anxiety and while he was still able to function, Wooyoung was wailing. With each step the hunters took closer to them, the more sure Seonghwa was that it would be the end of him and Wooyoung. His grip slipped ever so slowly but he still tried to hold on to the younger dragon, he wanted to hold on. Because however, the situation will end, he wanted to be selfless and be there for the mate that needed him.

When a sound popped out from the left side of the hunters, Seonghwa was damn near using the last of his sanity to turn into his dragon form and breathed fire at whoever made that sound. But it was a good thing he didn't because he immediately recognized you standing there, looking seemingly harmless but he noticed the determination in your eyes and it was enchanting.

"And what the fuck are you supposed to be?" One of the hunters scoffed at you, thinking that you must be a joke.

With a raised eyebrow, you whipped Weiss out and shoved both hands into your skirt pockets. "The last thing you'll ever see, unfortunately," in a split second, your gaze shifted to Seonghwa and though you spoke in a low, almost whisper-like tone that seemed to sound louder than it actually is and echoed in his ears, "Duck"

As soon as Seonghwa's front side made contact with the ground with Wooyoung in his death grip, he heard something sizzling that was followed by the smell of something burning and men screaming around him. Seonghwa couldn't look around as the sound of men screaming into the night was deafening and it caused his body to freeze in utter shock. The only thing he could see was you standing a little far away from him and Wooyoung, face emotionless with hands covered in a thin layer of white powder and your chest slightly heaving. Seonghwa didn't know what was happening and frankly, he was rather hesitant to find out because whatever it was you did wasn't good.

Your eyes met Seonghwa soon and his stomach dropped, he had never seen you like that before and he suddenly felt the urge to say a lot of things to you. He wasn't sure what those things were, but he knew there was too much to say. He was about to get up and run to you when you lifted a hand to him and shook your head, "Run," you said simply, taking small steps to inconspicuously return to the safety of the shadows. Though he wouldn't admit it out loud, Seonghwa felt his heart clench when you told him to run, to go AWAY from you instead of TO you. He could only assume that you would be happy that he finally wanted to be close to you but instead you were acting so cold and dismissive towards him. The screams of men in pain snapped Seonghwa back to reality, however, realizing that all of the hunters were in fact distracted enough that they wouldn't even attempt to follow him if he were to safely return home. You had provided him with an escape.

So Seonghwa did what he thought he should do despite the aching feeling of uncertainty about whether or not he or any one of his mates would see you again, he had to prioritize and at that moment, Wooyoung seemed more important than anything else. He grabbed Wooyoung and moved to pull him up despite him wailing for you, calling out your name and trying to claw his way out of Seonghwa's grip. "Wooyoung, snap out of it!" without hesitance, Seonghwa slapped Wooyoung across his face which seemed to stun him enough to focus on Seonghwa, "We need to get out of here! We don't have time to spare or chances left!" Desperation palpable in his voice and the eyes that conveyed a thousand emotions finally penetrated into Wooyoung's mind and for the first time in weeks, he was able to give a sound response. Slowly, Wooyoung nodded and stood up, wincing as he realized just how sore and weak his body was while Seonghwa followed suit. Hastily, Seonghwa pulled Wooyoung further away from the group of wailing men, "You need to turn and fly away home, okay? Call for help, and I'll distract them as best as I could to make sure they don't follow you," Wooyoung opened his mouth to say something but Seonghwa raised his hand to stop him, "You are in no condition to argue with me, just trust me and do as I said."

Of course, even with Seonghwa's order, Wooyoung's heart still yearns for you, he wanted to be with you after being separated for so long. Hoping that he would be able to make eye contact with you, Wooyoung glanced to where you were standing only to be met with the sight of shadows casting through the woods. "Go!" Seonghwa growled, pushing Wooyoung slightly away when he only stood still. Reluctantly, Wooyoung shifted and flew back as quickly as he could to the castle, roaring in the air in hopes that someone from the clan heard him.

Seonghwa was too preoccupied with making sure that Wooyoung was okay that he neglected to see the leader of the hunter group coming at him with an obsidian blade. He only realized what was happening when he caught his shadow moving from the corner of his eyes and even then, Seonghwa knew that it was too late for him, he was going to be stabbed with a poisonous blade and he could potentially die. Things started to move in slow motion and his eyes closed, defeated, as he waited for the pain to strike him whilst he continuously reassured himself that even though he was going to die, he managed to get Wooyoung to safety first.

The sound of the blade taking flesh in between flesh was gut-wrenching to Seonghwa and he could only imagine how the stone would interact with his dragon blood, turning everything toxic and rotting his flesh from the inside out.

He waited and waited, but the pain never came. When his eyes finally opened, he was beyond shocked to see you in front of him, the blade nesting in your right shoulder as you stared up at the hunter dead in the face. There were a lot of things that Seonghwa didn't expect from you and on the very top of that list were you jumping in front of danger for him, putting your life at risk for him. He expected you to do that for the others, even Hongjoong (since he's the clan leader), but not him. Never him.

"Wrong move," you spat and before either he or Seonghwa could react, you pressed your powder-covered hands to his face. Then Seonghwa saw it, he saw the man's face sizzling under your touch in the areas where his dragon scale helmet was and around its area. As if it wasn't enough, you mumbled spells that soon caused blood to leak from the man's eyes, his pupils constricting to the point that they were mere dots as his throat vibrated with the agonizing cry he let out.

Only when the man dropped to the ground at your feet that you let your arms fall to your sides. Slowly, you turned to Seonghwa and Seonghwa could see the more relaxed expression on your face. Then his gaze dropped to your body, specifically to your blood-drenched hands. He didn't know whether it was the hunter's blood or yours, everything was just too messy for him to see clearly and he didn't even know where to start looking. "(y/n)..." he called out reaching out to take your arm in his grip gently but you scurried away abruptly as if you were scared, you would've continued if it wasn't for the tree that you accidentally hit, making you wince from the pain of the blade. "Please don't kill me," you whimpered slightly, inching to the side of the tree in hopes that you could make a quick exit. The words somehow struck Seonghwa deeply, he was well aware that he was the one who threatened to kill you in the first place but he never realized that you would be so affected by it. The fear in your eyes when you looked at Seonghwa without the safety of hunters to excuse your presence somehow bothered him. Just a couple of weeks ago Seonghwa would've taken great pride in instilling such crippling fear into you, but now he just hated how you wanted to get away from them now. From him.

"You're hurt..." Though his voice was wavering slightly, Seonghwa tried his best to keep a strong front, wanting to show that he wasn't letting his emotions get the best of him. And it worked, you only took further steps away from him because you felt that he was being so stoic and perhaps he was giving you a false sense of security just to trap you and kill you. So you quickly shook your head at him, not wanting his words to influence your decision to go back into hiding and plan a better strategy to protect them.

With every faltering step back you took, Senoghwa seemed to want to follow and it scared you. He wasn't taking more steps than you but his strides were longer. Right then and there, you could feel a pull to him, a pull that you've experienced with Wooyoung and again with Yeosang when he finally opened his heart to accept you romantically. The feeling was warm and comforting, reassuring of your safety and life despite the poison that was entering your bloodstream. You had been so focused on Seonghwa that you didn't even notice the little trick the leader hunter pulled to ensure incapacity towards any of his enemies, dragons or not. The poison he used was deadly to dragons, capable of paralyzing them in 30 seconds and completely killing them in 20 minutes. While it wasn't as deadly to humans, you didn't have much time until you grow weak in your tent and die slowly for days whilst locked in your own body, able to feel everything but unable to do anything.

Thinking that the chicken dance you and Seonghwa were doing could last a while, you decided that you should just make your escape so you could treat your wound as soon as possible. With a smile thrown at Seonghwa, your feet took their position to run, "I'm glad you both are safe." Seonghwa's body went into an immediate state of panic as he heard you say that, alarm bells started going off in his brain knowing that that was your way of saying goodbye. He had been so determined to find you and bring you home, how could he just let you go? It wasn't like he was trying to force you to come with him or even kidnap you, but he wanted to bring you back home where you belong. The home that Seonghwa had so selfishly taken away from you and for what, pride? In the name of trauma? Nothing could excuse his behaviour and that was why he wanted to make sure that he could make up for it. And he couldn't do it when the person he wanted to make up to isn't there.

As you turned around to flee, you felt something shoot up your spine and your vision turned black. The pain made you want to scream and you could've sworn you were screaming in pain. But in reality, your face was lax and your body swayed to the side, gravity doing its job pulling you to the ground when all strength left your body. The last thing you hear was the sound of someone calling your name, then a couple more that was followed by flaps of wings and rushed steps. You must've imagined things. Out of all, however, Seonghwa's voice was more prominent and you could've sworn the palm that supported your head as you fell belonged to him. Well, you must've been beyond delusional which means the poison was doing such a marvellous job. This was maybe the sound that was sending you off to the afterlife and to be honest, you could be hearing worse.

Now all you had to do was welcome what comes next.

Whatever it was.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

"Hyung?"

Seonghwa's head snapped up to the door when he heard someone calling for him. The door to your room was shut with a heavy thud and Mingi came walking in with some things in his hands. "I thought you were told to rest," the younger sighed, displeased that his older mate was disregarding the words of healers who had instructed Seonghwa to take it easy on himself. Seonghwa shook his head as his gaze dropped back to the woman sleeping on the bed, looking like a corpse with how she was unmoving and unresponsive but still alive as indicated by the flush on her cheeks and lips. Since when do Seonghwa think of you like that?

Though Mingi was worried for him, Seonghwa only waved a hand dismissively at him, "No, I... I put her in this situation, I should take care of her."

When Seonghwa brought you back to the castle, not only were his mates up and about due to Wooyoung's warning (and being absolutely surprised that Wooyoung was functioning normally), but they were preparing to save you and Seonghwa. So when they saw Seonghwa in your arms, they thought that you had died. Chaos ensued when Seonghwa reassured everyone that you weren't dead but were definitely dying if you weren't treated immediately. Coming to his senses first, Yunho scooped you from Seonghwa's arms and carried you to the house of the head healer just outside the castle area followed by Yeosang who regained some strength at the mention of you and also Wooyoung. As soon as you were out of sight, Seonghwa dropped to his knees, legs lost all strength as tears poured out of his eyes, coating the skin of his cheeks in a glittery sheen. That was when he grabbed Hongjoong's hands and confessed to what he did, how he threatened to end you because he thought you helped orchestrated an attack. He confessed how he almost did kill you that night, how he single-handedly exiled you because he thought he was doing what was best for everyone. He confessed how it was his fault Yeosang and Wooyoung almost lost their minds and how the others were suffering, not realizing that it was because their mate was told to stay away from them.

That night Seonghwa received nothing but confused, cold glances from his mates even as he was being patched up. It wasn't that they hated him for what he did nor were they mad, it was just the fact that Seonghwa kept such a big secret from them. Moreover, after Wooyoung recounted how you had saved him and Seonghwa from out of nowhere which prompted them to ask Seonghwa how you got stabbed by an obsidian blade. Of course, Seonghwa told them everything, he told them about how you jumped in front of him with no hesitance which saved him completely from danger. Then there was a conversation of dragon's honour, how they should never bite the hand that fed them (literally or not). Mingi was the first to innocently bring up the fact that you had been but nice and generous to Seonghwa but he had only returned your kind gestures in utter disdain. Hongjoong defended Seonghwa by saying that despite his actions, he did not break a dragon's honour as you had never saved his life before. Then surprisingly, Jongho backed Mingi up by saying that the dragon's honour doesn't only apply to live-saving situations, it also applies to general, mundane situations which prompted Hongjoong to snap at the youngest, saying something along the lines of "If I remembered correctly, you wanted to stake and burn her to see if, and I quote, 'she smells like rotting eel like the rest of her coven' when she first came to us" which was not received well by Jongho.

Now, five days later, you were still not up but the tension amongst his mates had died down and things had started to turn for the better. The warriors were less antsy and got even more confident with the additional good news that Yeosang was finally cleared to come back on duty 3 days ago. Wooyoung was once again able to function normally, returning to his studies with the healers whilst sharing the recipes he learnt from you during the time you lived together. Hongjoong was finally able to calm the council and was able to address the questions regarding the citizen's safety with more assurance. Mingi brought the good news that you were back to the hatchlings and they were more than elated, immediately asking Mingi when they could see you again which made him so happy. And Seonghwa felt much more at ease with knowing that you were there with him, knowing that they were once again whole despite your comatose state. One thing for sure though, you were never left alone without anyone's watch. Wooyoung, Yeosang, and Mingi had taken it upon themselves to sleep in your room with you with Mingi dragging a (not so) begrudging Yunho with him. Jongho would only stand guard outside your door in the afternoons when everyone else was too busy with their own duties while San would stand guard inside your room but away from you, both were still feeling awkward because they had been so bad towards you and they didn't feel their fussing over you would be justified. Hongjoong would keep watch from afar and through his staff, asking questions directly to the healers or (not so) casually asking the members on watch about your condition during their supper. Seongwha remained a constant by your side though, adamant about being there when you woke up. He would do his duties from his seat and only leave when absolutely necessary and even then, he would rush and make sure someone was in the room with you.

Whilst keeping watch on you, Seonghwa made the realization that you were the difference that they needed. It could be because of the fact that you were destined to be mated with all eight of them, but it was also possible that it was because you were... you. Never had he experienced such a drastic difference that happened with a person's absence and presence. It was as if you forged their life force, your mere presence elevated their energy in more ways than one. He had been a fool to let his ego cloud his judgement.

Mingi walked towards you with a gentle smile on his face, his hand gently placing a flower crown on top of your head, "Hi there, I... made this when I took the hatchlings outside to learn about nature. They missed you so much," he wanted to say how he missed you too, but the presence of Seonghwa only made him swallow his own words. Mingi then turned to the older male, sighing when he saw his eyes busily darting through scrolls for different businesses that Seonghwa needed to tend. "I'm worried for you, hyung," Mingi confessed, eyebrows scrunched in slight frustration at the older's stubbornness. "I said I'm fine," Seonghwa sighed, putting his scrolls down on the desk next to him to look at Mingi with a small smile, "Don't worry about me, okay? I know my limits and I just want to make sure (y/n) comes out of this okay," he reassured him. It seemed like Mingi wanted to say something, but the stare Seonghwa gave him made him shut his mouth as if telling him it was pointless to argue with him, he wasn't going to budge. So Mingi simply nodded and left the room after giving your hand a gentle squeeze to return to his evening duties.

Once he was back alone with you, Seonghwa thought that it was best for him to focus back on completing his task, he was quite behind already and he didn't like leaving his duties like that. But as he was about to delve back into his scrolls, he couldn't help but look at your sleeping figure and his legs automatically took steps closer to you. Every time he looked at your face, he couldn't help but remember the frightened look on your face the day he almost killed you. While he used to find pride in it, now he couldn't help but be embarrassed of himself, embarrassed of how he threatened someone who bore no arms as it wasn't a noble thing of him to do no matter the person. Above that, he was embarrassed of himself for treating his mates' mate like that. The regret played over and over in his head as if to mock his lack of judgement and he knew he deserved it, he was willing to bear the shame brought by his own stupidity and more if it could bring you back. The healers kept reassuring him that you would be up but they couldn't really know when and that scared him, the uncertainty and vagueness only made him stress more.

With the gentlest of touch, he traced your hand that was resting on your stomach, flipping them over to graze over the burnt skin as he winced, imagining the pain you must've felt. Turns out, when you burnt that hunter's face with the powder you had, the direct contact made your own skin burn and while it will heal, the pain you must've endured was more than you should have felt. "I'm sorry..." tears built in Seonghwa's eyes as his eyebrows furrowed tightly, creating a crease in the space between, "When you get out of this, I'll make sure to pay you back a thousandfold, you hear me?"

The lack of answer made Seonghwa fall to his knees by your bed with your hands still in his grip. His face rested by your hip as he cried hard, body shaking and hands trembling with overwhelming emotions. Seonghwa didn't even know why he was crying, it wasn't like you were dead despite him seeing your unresponsive body. He was glad that you were back with him despite not knowing how you would react when you finally came to and realized that you were back in the dwelling of the person who claimed wanted you dead if you ever showed your face again. But he knew a lot of them wanted you there with them and he knew you knew that fact too whilst also knowing that before this, the majority of them disprove your existence amongst them and had even pulled petty pranks as hiding Weiss in the dungeons for three days which caused you to panic and even stated their disdain towards you and your kind right to your face. So really, what was Seonghwa crying about?

"I'm so sorry," Seonghwa's voice cracked from raw emotion like he never felt before, his cheeks wet with tears that dropped and pooled on your bed. He tried looking up at you again, but he couldn't bear the sight for long before he hunched over with his face on your stomach, crying even harder. His lips kept mumbling apologies like it was a prayer or a mantra, not knowing what else to say to you as he felt his transgressions towards you had really crossed all the lines that exist in the world. But even then, especially then, you showed him nothing but kindness and genuineness. Seonghwa gripped the blanket over your body and the shirt you were wearing tightly in his hands as if to anchor him to reality, whatever it was.

A sudden touch to his head stopped Seonghwa's cries almost immediately because he thought he was imagining things, maybe his mind was starting to play tricks on him. Seonghwa snapped his head to your face only to be greeted with the sight of you smiling gently at him, your eyes lively and smile like a fresh breath of spring that made his chest bloom. Then he felt your fingers carding through his hair slowly and gently as if the action was filled with nothing but affection.

"Purposeless tears can kill your fire, dragon. Why are you wasting them?" though your voice was cracked from the dryness of your throat, it still sounded melodious to Seonghwa.

For the first time ever since you knew all of them, Seonghwa cracked a smile, albeit a teary one. He gently took the hand that was on his head and pressed them to his lips before moving them to his cheek where he kept it to enjoy the warmth of your life with his thumb gently caressing the inside of your palm. The initial fear of you rejecting him died within seconds, now being proven that you only had love and care for him just by how you were gazing at him. Seonghwa didn't even care if it was his imagination or if it was the delusional side of his brain trying to compensate for his guilt because he was seeing actual proof in front of him. Proof that you woke up from him opening his heart to you.

"No one could kill you, my fire, I won't let anything kill you."

And you believed him.

taglist :

@rdiamond2727 @yvnnieurl @kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @thesolarplanetarysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @jcngh0-hq @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @imswitchbabemox @haatohwa @youngestdelacour @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @ming-ki @stopeatread @spooo00oky

@chloepurpy @cutie-wooyo

[thirdtidemouse]

i have to do more bc she isnt rly brought to life yet.. she will change a LOT... but this is dylan :-] (hammarlund? underhill?) i couldn't not do a hilda oc and i couldnt not make it a nervous werewolf. she stresses herself out but is surprisingly organised about cooking, one of the famously stressful activities. she spends a full day planning out a meal, cooking for herself and kaisa (thank god. that nerd cannot cook) and then asks for detailed reviews.

she is very stressed out about being a werewolf though. she has just finished being a teenager and this is kind of that all over again. she does not want ANYONE to find out and confides reluctantly only in kaisa. what she fears is people fearing her, and she feels like the moment her life has been pieced back together again, she's losing grip, again. it's almost a black hound situation when the people of trolberg hear about a werewolf sneaking around. some episode centred around the mystery ensues.

she likes food + music! although she's more of an amateur at music, she owns + plays a guitar, a mandolin, a banjo, and a harmonica. very folksy. she has a swedish-welsh accent. try and imagine it please.

the default sister dynamic is kaisa getting home from work late (she probably lives in a flat in/around the library), and dylan being in the midst of homemade ravioli or something with a sauce that took 6 hours. kaisa asks about her day to be polite. dylan tells her about the sauce that took 6 hours, a long hike, 3 different invasive plant species, a lot of butter, and the use of powertools. kaisa has been re-shelving niche history of magic books but got so caught up re-reading them that it also took up 6 hours. when they have eaten dylan asks for her opinion and scribes the whole thing down in her notebook as kaisa voices her 5 star yelp review. they do not ask anything else about each others days and interact mainly through dylan slow-motion fake-punching kaisa while she is trying to just hang out in the living room or do her work and is ignored. only when she is in a very good mood will kaisa fake-punch back. dylan has a lethal case of younger-sister-that-is-taller syndrome.

sorry for my handwriting but the vague outline of her backstory WHICH MAY PROBABLY CHANGE is:

from the time she was 8 and kaisa was 21, they lived alone together. kaisa became a full-fledged witch between then and age 25, when suspicion against witches was on the rise for a short while - dylan never became a witch, but the only trusted adults in her life (basically kaisa and tildy) were, and they decided it would be best for her to grow up somewhere less troublesome. they were both pretty messed up about her having to move away, dylan holding some kind of spite toward her sister for a while, and kaisa feeling incapable, guilty and ill-equipped to take care of her.

she went to school in wales at 12, living with as-yet-unspecified family members/friends, and while kaisa almost immediately regretted sending her away, dylan adjusted quickly and spent the rest of her school career there. after a few years she forgave kaisa, because she ultimately enjoys her life, but she is stilll missed at home. at 17 going on 18 she became a werewolf (whether she was bitten or it was always in her somewhere?) and four months later she finished sixth form and called kaisa out of the blue asking if she could come and move in. since they didn't live in trolberg before, she's new to the city.

i will write more cohesively about her relationships to other characters/flesh her out more later, ESPECIALLY the werewolf stuff, but now i have to go to bed. thank you for reading :-] feel free to ask/suggest anything about her!! i love discussing hilda ocs

by the way this is i think my first ever actual OC? i've made up others before but they've just been single designs i've never really thought much about their actual selves because i suck at writing. dylan is the first one thats really stuck. part of her is based off myself and people i know, most of her is not. the main similarity between us is double-denim.

this is fun though. critique is welcome

(obviously her werewolf self is a swedish elkhound. i know the design kind of just looks like a furry im working on it)

[dduane]

I've been following the fanfic & author discussion and I definitely see the issue with fanfic based on your own work. However, I'm curious how that doesn't extend to, well, everything else. If an author reads a coffeeshop AU based on their works and then writes something similar into a book, how is that different from reading a coffeeshop AU from a completely different media and then writing something similar with the names changed to their characters?

At the fanfic level, for me, it does extend to everything else. Let me tease this out a bit for you.

All writers distill their output at least partly from huge amounts of data, fed into their storymaking systems over (routinely) decades of time. When that input comes along in the form of traditionally "published" material—books or films or comics or whatever—I’d expect there to be an inherent understanding that what one publishes or films may (if you're lucky) wind up in the public consciousness. And thereafter—assimilated and, ideally, much changed and individualized—it may also end up in the work of people who create in the same general way you do.

Where traditionally published materials that I've internalized are involved, I've paid for them (or libraries or similar institutions have paid for them for me). Money''s changed hands, confirming (as it were) the contract between the creators and me. After that, what I make of Paradise Lost or Perelandra is my business.

And my business, both generally and specifically, is subversion. It's a rare work in any genre that doesn't afterwards leave me wondering "But how about if this was done completely differently...?" I.e., "What if a prince rescued a prince?" "What if you don't need a school to learn magic, because the universe teaches you?" And so on. ...The only hard and fast rule I have about this process is one that Heinlein handed me: "Sure, file the serial numbers off that idea and make something else of it. But you have to leave it different, and ideally better, than when you found it. If you're going to be the magpie who makes off with a pretty shiny thing, you must bring back something bigger and shinier in return."

So that's how that operation goes, when I'm dealing with what we might consider mainstream/tradpub works.

But fanfic operates under different rules. No money changes hands (because no money may). Fic writing is founded in a gift economy. And for me, to steal a gift or steal from a gift-giver is vile.

So, per the original question: For me, the primary difference between the two kinds of fics you're positing above is that in the first case, the fic's author and I are (creatively speaking) in a relationship... even if (strictly speaking) it's a nonconsensual one. I therefore feel a responsibility to protect their work from me by not allowing myself into situations where I might, however accidentally, borrow from it. And I also feel a responsibility to protect myself from possible adverse consequences of having seen their work. Safest way to ensure that protection on both sides? Not to see their work.

In the second case, let's say we've got a coffeeshop AU where, oh, I don't know, Bert is a barista and Ernie is a regular customer. (And Big Bird is the manager, and Cookie Monster is—no no, let's STOP this now...) Here it's safe to say that my relationship with either the IP owner* or the fic writer is likely to be nil. The writer doesn't know about me, or (I'm sure) care. They've put their stuff out there on AO3 or wherever for their own reasons, and at least theoretically for others' entertainment. So I'm at liberty to take it as such.

Which is all very well on the face of it. But if I caught myself inserting business from that Bert/Ernie AU fic into something of mine, what I'd consider the right thing for me to do would be to discard that whole line of thought and start over... because this is material sourced in a gift economy, and to me it feels wrong to use a gift this way.

And stressing this point: I'd do that once I'd caught myself. Because as I mentioned at the start of this, all writers pick up and digest concepts and situations that then go "into the pot", as Tolkien said, and get lost over time in the general melange of flavor. If I don't catch myself, and then the flavor of the original gets submerged in the overall taste of the soup to the point where I can't ID it... that could get troublesome. And if I later realize what's happened, it'll pain me no end.

This is why I do not want to see Young Wizards fanfic at all. The chance always exists that if I do look at any of it, I might accidentally internalize it and pop it out, however changed, years later... and would thereby have abused my relationship with the fic writer. (And yes, ever though they would by definition be in that relationship with me nonconsensually, that would not make it right, or all right, for me to do the same thing back to them.) In this regard, I'd sooner be safe than sorry... because being sorry about something you've written is a very sad, bitter place to be.

...Maybe all the above will strike some people as unusually rigorous. (shrug) That doesn't bother me; not least because they don't have to live inside my head, and I do. My creative life doesn't have a billion rules, but this is one that seems obvious to me, and which I do my best not to violate. It's not all about legal exposure. It's about trying to do right.

HTH.

*It's surprising how many potential scenarios I had to throw out just now because I am in relationships with the IP owners, or have been. Pity. The Cap/Bucky one would have been fun...) :)

[marthawrites]

Hello friends! My name is Martha and I'm a wife, mom, and nerd about a whole lot of things. I'm officially in my 30s, a libra sun, aries moon, and leo rising.

• Aemond Targaryen simp

• Cryptid and monster lover

• Wannabe writer

Archived here will be an assortment of writing resources I find useful, fandom stuff, fandom writing, (maybe one day) horror writings, and things I generally enjoy. So, a hodgepodge! I try to tag most things - look in my search bar! Followers better be 18+ due to adult content on this blog because I am gross and shameless.

Requests CLOSED.

Check out my tag #other peoples writing for all the fics I've read and LOVED ♥ Huge shout out to all the wonderful, talented, and unhinged writers on this platform! MWAH!

Masterlist beneath the line! 

Any and all errors and mistakes are my own. I do not use a beta reader. All of these fics, unless otherwise stated, are non-descript female readers. All of these fics are based on my own interpretations of characters and events from the show, House of the Dragon, and the book, Fire and Blood. Any likeness or similarities to other author's fics is unintentional. I am open to private constructive criticism as I believe there is always room for improvement. Each fic is marked with the month and year that it was completed.

Aemond Targaryen:

One shots:

12/ 22 Knees:  (aemond x wife 18+) during a dinner you witness a Lannister relentlessly flirting with a young lady who’s clearly uncomfortable. Taking matters into your own hands, you begin flirting with him to steal his attention away. Aemond, your husband, only plays along for so long before he dismisses both of you and takes things into his own hands.

12/22 Greed: (aemond x wife 18+) Aemond just really likes eating his wife, even when there’s a servant knocking on their door to wake them up to get ready for a mid-morning event.

12/22 A Surprise in the Library: (aemond x wife 18+) Aemond’s wife surprises him with something that the morning’s kitchen staff was talking about. So much for peaceful studying in the library!

1/23 Darkened Corridors: (aemond x fem reader 18+) After avoiding Aemond for what he deems too long, he finds you to remind you what you’ve been missing out on.

1/23 A Lady’s Thrill: (aemond x wife 18+) A stressed Aemond returns late and his lady wife helps him de-stress.

5/23 Teaching A Dragon New Tricks: (aemond x fem reader 18+) You and Prince Aemond have been giving each other eyes for some time now, and he finally makes the first move. After that, you feel comfortable showing him a few things. His drive for knowledge extends beyond books.

6/23 A Dragonkeeper's Secret: (aemond x fem reader 18+) After being disappointed by a fellow dragonkeeper, an event in the dragonpit makes you think: perhaps not all men are disappointing.

6/23 Leather and Silver: (aemond x wife reader 18+) There's something about your prince husband's belt that successfully drives you mad with lust.

7/23 Only A Scratch: (aemond x fem reader 18+) Aemond requests you, a healer who has tended to his wounds before, to accompany him on a trip to Duskendale.

10/23 Summer's End, Autumn's Beginning: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) A chance encounter with Aemond leads to a whirlwind of emotions. Over the next few months you both fail, in yourselves and in the relationship, and learn from the mistakes.

10/23 To Break The Tension: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) You and Aemond have a no strings attached relationship. He has a surprise for you and you are more than excited to go see what it is.

12/23 Morning Lovebites Lead To Sweet Dreams: (aemond x wife reader 18+) You and Aemond share a morning bath and the lingering sensations last with you all day. When he returns to your marriage chambers later than usual, you're sad you might sleep through his return. Once in for the night, however, he makes up for it.

1/24 Shadows, Beastsong, and Dragonblood: (aemond x niece reader 18+) Growing up you and your uncle Aemond always shared a special kinship. As you grew older, tension between your family and his rose. Moving to Dragonstone led to long years of not seeing each other. When you and your mother visited her father, King Viserys, yours and Aemond's relationship changed. It changed further, years later, upon your final visit to the capitol.

1/24 Red Lions and Hidden Dragons: (unnamed male x Lannister!fem reader & aemond x Lannister!fem reader 18+) Close kin to Jason and Tyland Lannister, you arrive to King's Landing with a party of fellow lions to celebrate the birth of Prince Maelor Targaryen. You weren't expecting to catch Prince Aemond's eye, but once you do, neither of you can forget it.

3/24 "Vok" (Perfect): (aemond targaryen x sister reader 18+) You and Aemond pledged to each other long ago. Tonight, beneath the blanket of darkness, you revel in each other's adoration.

Mini Series:

3/23 (pt 1) Pretty Girl: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) There's been some weird stuff happening in the woods and your boss buys top of the line security cameras. You definitely weren't expecting to hit it off so well with the tech guy who is much more than a tech guy.

4/23 (pt 2) A Game of Chase: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) You and your best friend go out to a local event. While there, Aemond, surprisingly, makes an appearance. With quick wit you pretend like it's your first time meeting. Equally quick and curious, he plays along. A game of chase ends up with some unexpected aftershocks.

3/23 (pt 1) Midnight Passage: (aemond x fem reader 18+) Despite the Prince Regent seeing to his royal duties, Aemond's lover is insatiable and seeks to find him late into the night.

4/23 (pt 2) Beneath the Prince Regent: (aemond x fem reader 18+) After your little disturbance in the Prince Regent's study, Aemond finally comes to bed.

7/23 (pt 1) After The Closing Shift: (modern aemond targaryen x fem reader 18+) You and Aemond have been best friends for years. The time is finally right for him to admit his true feelings. In the process of doing so, your cheating ex appears back in the picture. Unexpected events follow.

8/23 (pt 2) After The Study Session: (modern aemond targaryen x fem reader 18+) Through the chaos of college and work, yours and Aemond's friendship continues to shift in a new direction. Jason can't seem to accept he's lost you. You and Aemond take matters into your hands to make sure he knows it.

10/23 (pt 1) Summer's End, Autumn's Beginning: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) A chance encounter with Aemond leads to a whirlwind of emotions. Over the next few months you both fail, in yourselves and in the relationship, and learn from the mistakes.

5/24 (pt 2) Between the Covers: (modern aemond x fem reader 18+) During a cozy night in at your place, Aemond discovers your new taste for “literature”. Upon confronting you about it he makes a deal. Part of you wants to say no… but, you ultimately agree to his terms.

Series: On Hiatus

1/23 The Arbor and the Dragon: Chapter one, Betrothed :  A realm upon the brink of war. Alicent reaches out to your father, Lord Redwyne, to marry Aemond Targaryen to you. If the union officiates, the green Targaryens will receive the aid of Lord Redwyne’s fleet. You sail to King’s Landing to meet the young prince, to weigh if this is a marriage you truly want.

2/23 The Arbor and the Dragon: Chapter two, Discovery :  After the official betrothal, you learn more about Aemond with each passing day. You're unsure to be scared or excited with these discoveries, but he always leaves you wanting more.

2/23 The Arbor and the Dragon: Chapter three, Experience : (18+) As promised, Aemond takes you for another ride on Vhagar. This time he shows you a hidden place that he’s always loved. New experiences unfold.

6/23 The Arbor and the Dragon: Chapter four, Moonlight: Tension around the Red Keep grows. Rumors begin spreading about yours and Aemond's time spent together. Jane, your best friend and lady-in-waiting, reminds you of your favorite summer festival back home. You write Aemond a letter in secret and request his company at the beach. Emotions are high and promises are made.

Daemon Targaryen and Rhaenyra Targaryen:

Mini Series:

12/22 (pt 1) A Gift for the Queen:  (daemon x rhaenyra x fem reader 18+) It’s Rhaenyra’s birthday eve and Daemon surprises her with an unexpected gift.

5/23 (pt 2) The Gift That Keeps Giving: (daemon x rhaenyra x fem reader 18+) You've happily stayed with Daemon and Rhaenyra since her birthday. They have a little game up their sleeve to play with you.

5/24 (pt 3) The Post-Flying Gift: (daemon x rhaenyra x fem reader) A rare fully sunny day beckons Daemon and Rhaenyra to fly their dragons above Dragonstone for hours. You are more than happy to watch them in flight. When they return, their dragonblood runs hot.

Daemon Targaryen:

One Shots:

6/23 Punishment: (daemon x poc wife reader 18+) Just because you're in the honeymoon phase with the Rogue Prince doesn't mean you can escape a proper punishment for disrespect.

8/23 A Day in the Life: (modern daemon x fem reader 18+) It's barely dawn and you want to have a little fun with Daemon before work. Your job unexpectedly calls and plans change. Flirty and risque texts on the clock leads to him picking you up in both your favorite car.

9/23 Sand and Sky: (daemon x poc fem reader 18+) Upon arriving to King's Landing with your cousin, Criston Cole, you meet Daemon Targaryen. Little time passes before desire of the flesh overtake both of you.

9/23 The Night's Conquest: (daemon x fem reader 18+) It's Daemon's last night in King's Landing and he seeks one final comfort at the Blue Pearl.

Rhaenyra Targaryen:

One shots:

9/23 Honeyed Promises: (rhaenyra x fem reader 18+) While visiting your great uncle, Lyman Beesbury, at King's Landing, you weren't expecting secondhand stress to affect your lord husband so. Princess Rhaenyra takes notice and is happy to steal moments away with you.

2/24 A Not So Hidden Secret: (modern rhaenyra x fem reader 18+) Rhaenyra discovers something in the bedroom that you, admittedly, forgot about, but didn't want her to know about!

3/24 Beneath the Blooming Branches: (rhaenyra x fem reader) Spring has officially sprung. You and Rhaenyra enjoy a quiet afternoon strolling and picnicking in the gardens.

3/24 A Tale of Two Moons: (rhaenyra x fem reader) At the end of a long day Rhaenyra shares a tale with you, and then offers to share more.

Harwin Strong:

One shots:

12/23 Harrenhal Butterflies: (modern harwin x fem reader 18+) Sparks flew between you and Harwin before slinking off together during a work dinner, and they continue to fly afterwards. Unprompted, you both slink off together once again during an elective work trip to Harrenhal. Tension ends up breaking in a most unexpected place.

2/24 Matinee Delight: (modern harwin x fem reader 18+) While on a cinema date, the movie ends up being something you don't like. You try to talk your boyfriend, Harwin, into bailing early for something more fun.

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

Hi hi request time

Optimus x reader

The reader is a librarian and works at the local library. There she met a guy named Orion( optimus in holo form as a secret experiment of dwelling among humans) and often talked to him about things. She is also a part of team prime and has a huge crush on Optimus but never approaches him for obvious reasons. So she confines with Orion about her feelings for optimus and makes him aware of her feelings for which he feels guilty and starts to see her in a different light

Now comes another guy into the picture

I want u to make Optimus jealous as hell enough to make him confess his feelings with a passionate kiss which will cause her to faint in his arms.

Ps: make him panic as she faints in his arms and later being chewed out by Rachet as it seems he has broken her by that kiss

Optimus was unsure where to go in the human town. He'd driven through a few times, but now that he was of the appropriate size to enter buildings, he didn't know which one to go to. There were just so many and he didn't want to get it wrong.

Perhaps it was luck or fate, but he found his way to a large building with a sign posted above labeling it saying 'Public Library'. He may not know a lot about human things, but he at least knows what a library is. He also knows someone who works there.

He entered and instantly saw you sitting at the desk. Your familiar face instantly soothed his unease about being in unfamiliar territory. He walked over to the desk about to greet you as he would normally back at the base. You looked up and spotted him.

"Hi, how can I help you today?" You smiled sweetly. You had not seen this man before, you wondered if perhaps he was new to town.

It took Optimus only a second to remember he was wearing a different face, you did not know what his holoform looked like, so it made sense that you did not recognize him. He was about to explain it was him, Optimus. But then remembered Ratchet telling him not to tell anyone. They didn't need anyone recognizing their holoforms as it could ruin their cover.

"Just browsing." Optimus smiled back.

"Let me know if you need any help finding something." You said, then got back to your duties.

Optimus was happy to see you, you were always so kind and helpful. He wandered around the library for a little, reading through a few that looked interesting. Mostly about Earth's history, or politics. Eventually, he found his way back to your desk.

"Find everything you were looking for?" You asked.

"Actually, I was wondering, if you could recommend something." Optimus asked.

"Sure, what genre are you looking for?"

"What's your favorite?"

"Oh that's a tough one." You laughed. "There are so many good choices. But let's see." You walked away from the desk, walking through the shelves of books. You scanned over each book until you found one.

"Here. I think this is a pretty good one for someone who is open to anything." You handed over the book. Optimus took the book from your hand gently.

"Thank you."

You smiled and headed back to your desk. Optimus found a seat and began reading. After many years of being a clerk, Optimus was a very fast reader. And a couple of hours later, he was done. He took the book back over to you.

"This was a great recommendation, I enjoyed it." Optimus stated.

"You're done already?" You were shocked. Optimus nodded. "Wow, you read faster than I do. Uhm, I am glad you liked it. This author has a few more if you like."

"Thank you." Optimus chuckled. He had never been complimented on his reading ability before.

"What's your name?" You asked. Optimus had a slight panic, unable to think of any human names.

"Orion."

"Nice to meet you. Are you new to town?" You greeted.

"I am. I just moved here. What about you?" Optimus tried to direct the conversation back to you, hoping it would stop you from asking too many questions.

"No, I've been here my whole life." You answered.

"Do you enjoy working here?"

"I do. I love books and reading, so this is pretty much a dream job for me. What do you do?"

"I'm a clerk," Optimus replied, using some semi-truth as he used to be. So he didn't feel like he was lying to you. "What else do you do around here?"

"I generally spend time with my friends after work."

Optimus wondered if you were talking about him and the other Autobots. Or perhaps some human friends he didn't know about.

"Well it was really nice to meet you, but I'm afraid I have to close up." You apologized.

"Of course. Have a good night." Optimus left and headed back to base. It wasn't long until you arrived at the base as well. Optimus smiled as he saw you, he wanted to talk to you about the book he read. But he knew he had to keep his holoform activities a secret.

For the next week, Optimus kept going to the library, reading books that you suggested. Then he would go to the front desk to discuss them with you. He enjoyed your time together and found that you both had a lot more in common than he originally thought.

~~

Once again he entered the library, your happy face bringing a smile to his.

"You look very happy today." He commented as you seemed much chipper than before.

"Oh, well I guess I am." You giggled.

"May I ask why?" Optimus was intregued. He had spoken to you yesterday in his bot form, about other things. But you seemed like your normal self. And now you seem a lot more bubbly.

"Well, uh. It's this guy that I like. I spent ages with him yesterday, and it was just a really good time. It was so nice to spend some time with him and talk to him. It's kind of rare getting alone time with him, so it was amazing." You explained. Optimus wondered who you were talking about, and who was the mystery guy you enjoyed spending time with.

"That sounds like a pleasant time. Is this someone you are fond of?" Optimus was intrigued to know more about someone who could make you grin so much. You blushed in response.

"I guess you could say that yes. I really like him, you could say I have a little crush on him." You brushed some hair behind your ear, a nervous habit. The thought of your crush makes you blush more. "It's kind of funny, and a coincidence really but his name begins with O too."

Optimus thought about it, it must really be a coincidence that you knew so many people with an O name. Then it began to click, was it possible you meant him. Maybe, but he had to be sure.

"What's he like?" Optimus asked.

"Tall, smart, he's a wise leader that takes care of his friends and looks out for everyone. Really trustworthy and just someone you can look up to." You sighed, picturing Optimus as the tall bot you knew.

Optimus blushed, he didn't know you viewed him like that. Or that you felt that way about him, but he felt flattered. He could see the way you smiled as you thought about him, and it made him feel warm and happy.

"Have you thought about telling him?"

"Oh no, I couldn't! I don't think he feels the same way, and I don't want to ruin anything." You admitted. "I am content just being around him."

Optimus thought you were so sweet, and they way you blushed when you talked about him was cute.

"Anyway, would you like another book recommendation?" You asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, please."

Later that night, at base Optimus couldn't keep his eyes off you. He kept thinking about how you felt, and how guilty he felt that he knew, but you could never know. Optimus watched you more closely, watching the way your face lit up when you saw him, the way you fidgeted with your clothes when you spoke to him. They way you sounded happier and livelier when you spoke to him than with the other bots. It was all adorable. As he watched you and listened to your voice and your lovely laugh, his spark began to tingle. His frame heated up, in a Cybertronian form of a blush. He had to excuse himself to calm himself down. It didn't take long for him to realize he was starting to have feelings for you.

The next day at the library he saw you again, your bright smiling face illuminated the room and made him enamored. He wanted to say something but couldn't. He couldn't tell you who he was. He was worried telling you who he was after all this time may upset you, as it may seem like he was lying to you this whole time. And he did not want to upset you.

Optimus walked straight over to the books, distracting himself with trying to find something to read. He wanted to talk to you, but he knew talking to you would make his spark beat fast. Optimus grabbed a random book and took it, going to use it as an excuse to start a conversation. Then he heard you laugh, a loud joyful laugh that made him feel fuzzy and warm. He smiled and walked to the front, only to find you talking to another human male.

The man was leaning on the desk, talking to you. You laughed as he spoke. Optimus felt a rush of jealousy, something he had not felt for many years. At first, he was not going to do or say anything, he knew how you felt about him. The human male could not sway your mind so easily. But then the man touched your shoulder and tried to lean in towards you. Optimus quickly scurried over and began pulling you away.

"Orion? Is everything ok?" You asked as you were dragged from the desk towards the back of the library.

Optimus thought about the words he was about to say, wanting it to be perfect.

"I want to apologize, I had to keep this a secret to make sure my cover was safe. And that you would be kept safe from not knowing. But I can't keep it secret anymore. I have to tell you because I have to tell you how I feel. It is me, Optimus, this is my holoform. I'm sorry I have deceived you, but I have to tell you now because I want you to know that I have come to be very fond of you. Over these last few weeks I have seen you in a brighter light, you have shown me how truly beautiful and amazing you are and I have fallen for you." Optimus then gently cupped your face in his hands and pulled you forward into a loving and passionate kiss.

He pulled back to see your shocked face. A split second later you fainted, falling into his arms. Optimus caught you, slowly lowering you to the floor. He panicked, having no idea what happened. He was terrified he had done something wrong and hurt you. He quickly picked you up and rushed outside, to his truck mode. He placed you inside and quickly raced you back to base. He quickly transformed, asking Ratchet to look you over, as he gently held you in his servos.

You were still unconscious while Ratchet demanded to know what happened and what Optimus did to cause you to be unconscious. Ratchet's telling off made Optimus feel worse about the situation. He should have known better than to ambush you like that.

Eventually, you woke up. Coming too on an empty berth with Optimus sitting by your side. He smiled as he watched you open your eyes.

"Did you confess to me?" You asked, your voice quiet as you slowly came to.

"I did." Optimus admitted, feeling guilty. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have."

"No, I am glad you did. And I am glad I didn't just dream it." You sat up, now fully awake. You scooched closer to Optimus and placed your hand on his servo. "I feel the same way. But I guess you already know that." You laughed.

Optimus smiled, glad that you were not angry at him. Thankful that you still felt the same way about him. After all this, he was glad he decided to go into the library as his holoform. It turned out to be one of the best choices he ever made.

[jotun-philosopher]

Half meta, half ramble

Not entirely sure where this post is going, tbh... Let's find out, eh?

Sooo... I was browsing the Final Fantasy wiki (as one does) and the article for Tantarian (an optional/missable boss in FF9) caught my attention. Y'see, Tantarian is a demon found in a library, hiding in a possessed book -- and is based on the Great Duke of Hell, Dantalion (or Dantalian, the spelling can be inconsistent). How the ever-loving wossname, I hear you cry, does this relate to Good Omens????

Let's take a closer look! (this got longer than I anticipated, hence the cut)

From the Wikipedia article 'List of demons in the Ars Goetia':

"The Seventy-first Spirit is Dantalion. He is a Duke Great and Mighty, appearing in the Form of a Man with many Countenances, all Men's and Women's Faces; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one; for he knoweth the Thoughts of all Men and Women, and can change them at his Will. He can cause Love, and show the Similitude of any person, and show the same by a Vision, let them be in what part of the World they Will."

Bolded details:

"Duke Great and Mighty" -- evocative of the whole "Thin Dark Duke" thing <3

" [...] he hath a Book in his right hand." -- pretty obvious GO connection there!

(best 'Azzy+book(s)' gif I could find quickly...although on a second look, this might well be from the body swap bit in S1 XD Mr Sheen, you ludicrously talented chaos gremlin, you <3 )

(Ok, this one's definitely Crowley XD)

Mah point is dolphins they both match up to the book thing!

"His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences [...]" -- leaning slightly more towards a Crowley parallel here, with the apple thing partly symbolising intellectual curiosity (essential part of arts and sciences!), but Aziraphale giving away the flaming sword would've helped humanity figure things out in that area as well (even if indirectly)

(I want to boop the snek!!!)

"[...] knoweth the Thoughts of all Men and Women, and can change them at his Will [...]" -- mind-reading! Seems to be sliiiiiightly more of a demon thing from what we've seen (e.g. "Nina: It's like you've seen into my secret soul. Crowley: Yeah, it's a knack.", Shax picking at insecurities in the bookshop battle), but both the Ineffables have directly influenced human minds on screen (e.g. Sitis, the Shopkeepers' Ball)

"[...] can cause Love [...]" -- well, they certainly tried! Operation: Shop Lesbians :D

"[...] show the Similitude of any person [...]" -- mostly seen with the body swap bit so far (where A+C are concerned), but given that for angels and demons, size and shape are merely options, and Beelzebub canonically changed their face, it's not outwith the bounds of possibility that the Ineffable Husbands could disguise themselves as people other than each other (if that makes sense)(and assuming they'd *want* to, of course)

Plus, if you go with the 'Dantalion' spelling, the last four letters form the word 'lion', which is a motif the show ties pretty strongly to Aziraphale via the signet ring on his right hand. Fierce protector angel! <3

Plus plus, from what I've been able to gather, Dantalion is supposed to be one of the more benevolently-inclined Goetic demons -- both the Ineffables are pretty dang benevolent!

The point I'm stumbling towards (stone-cold sober, but with about 3,000,000 on the ND Scoville scale) is that Dantalian/Dantalion has some pretty interesting parallels to both the Ineffable Husbands and so, within the GO verse, could be either another alias of Crowley's or a name Aziraphale might take if he Fell (AU fic writers, start your engines!) :D

As a small bonus, I saw the name 'Shax' mentioned in the list of Marquises of Hell!

The characteristics given for the Goetic Shax don't really match up to TV!Shax that I can tell, apart from the stork symbolism and the "hoarse but subtle voice" (and maaaybe 'is thought to be faithful and obedient, but is a great liar"), but given Gneil's wide-ranging mythological knowledge, invincible genre savviness and extreme writing skill, it wouldn't surprise me to see elements of the Goetic description popping up in Shax's S3 arc -- likely in unexpected ways!

Hope you enjoyed reading that ^^ Have fun fic-writing!

[causereyna-artie]

Free Palestine!

I am aware that I don't have a huge following base, but I do want to go this out there.

I was speaking to my niece, and the topic of war came up. I asked if she knew about the Palestine war going on right now, and I'm proud to say she gave me a 10-page essay on why. But when I asked her about what she was doing about it, she came up short. She said as a minor with no money, there was nothing she could do. I realised that a lot of minors might think that. Soo, here's a list of things that people who think their hands are tied regarding Palestine can do:

1. Raising Awareness

It's not overused---it's a classic. There manifold ways to spread awareness, but you have to make sure you have the right idea on what this about it; reading articles, newspapers, listening to podcasts and speeches on it. I'm not a big newspaper reader, but lately whenever I'm free, I take a stack of any newspapers from 2023-2024 and cut out the articles that look like this:

An article in the paper by Save The Children UK (I apologise for the poor quality of the image)

or anything related to Palestine (brownie points for links/sites/codes that you can donate through) should work and stick it into any notebook, either that I'm done with or not going to use or that I'm currently using. Sometimes I print out articles from the internet, but there sure as fuck are enough things about the war in the newspapers to give you a whole book. Once you've filled up the book, place it anywhere people will come across. My favourites are public libraries, DLR (the subway/tube), parks, in stands at markets (ex: I place a bunch of them around the whole, say, Greenwich market), but literally anywhere people cross everyday works. Then I make more and more, and place them everywhere. Like I've put this in people's mailbox. Anywhere where people can see what a dire situation this is.

If you have any means of social media, use it. Post about the latest things in Palestine, even if its anything as small as a story. Every little thing counts.

SPEAK ABOUT IT. BRING IT INTO YOUR DAILY CONVERSATION. FOR PEOPLE EFFECTED BY THE WAR, IT IS A DAILY SITUATION.

EVERYTHING COUNTS. STICK FREE PALESTINE STICKERS ON BUSES, READ POSTS ON PALESTINE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

2. Websites

Websites supporting Palestine, and ones that don't (boycott these):

Arab: For Palestine, for refugees. Take not that the sites provides support to multiple other things, like children and poverty.

Disney Plus: IT SUPPORTS ISNOTREAL'S WAR CRIMES AND GENOICIDE. I give full credit for this to @connabeth, who's post led me to know about this. If you own a subscription or are considering getting one, PLEASE CANCEL IT. As a huge PJO fan, I am begging you not to watch the show on there. Cinema can be pirated, and lives can be saved.

Wix.com: It is an Israeli site, and there should be nothing more said about it. @captdedeyes post (thank you to the creator for reaching out to me personally and giving me the link!) covers replacements to try instead of Wix.

Deviant Art: Linking back to Wix, it is the owner of site.

Know it disgusts me the amount of websites to boycott compared to the ones supporting Palestine. For more check out BDS.

3. Supporting

Support Palestinian artists, over here. EVERYTHING MATTERS.

This truly is an important cause, so I'll be updating this whenever I think of things that minors (or anyone) can do regarding the war.

PLEASE SHARE THESE WITH PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE AND REBLOG/ADD YOUR OWN WAYS OF DOING SOMETHING FOR THE WAR CURRENTLY GOING ON.

[maya-chirps]

[ID: a screenshot of a reblog by @/fleurtygurl. It reads: "Omg instant follow! I need more Philippines facts in my life!!! 😭😭😭

If you have any facts about filipino myths? That would be amazing. But also I will literally eat up everything you post!

I'm in desperate need of reconnecting with my roots, but I've been so busy that I haven't had any time to do any extensive research...."

/End ID]

@fleurtygurl Decided to make a whole post based on this because I loooove talking about Filipino mythology and researching more about different mythologies within the country and I also hadn't gone around to looking through the things I want to learn about.

Filipino mythology is a pretty huge umbrella term considering that there are hundreds of cultures in the archipelago that have different beliefs, practices, and traditions and especially before the Spanish colonial period. I won't get too deep into it, but basically if you want to learn about some grander pantheon or some general overarching compendium of beliefs that all precolonial Filipinos believe in, you won't be getting that sine historically, Filipinos were not a unified people, but a bunch of different countries and communities that were placed under one governing body for easy management for the Spanish crown.

With so many Filipino cultures and, by extension, mythologies, the best way with trying to reconnect with your heritage, it might be best to figure out which ethnic group you may have connections too and start researching from there. In my case, for example, I would look up both Tagalog mythology, Bikolano mythology, and Ilokano mythology in order to get a good grasp of the mythology of my roots since I'm mixed Tagalog, Bikolano, and Ilokano, and those three have widely different beliefs and especially with folk religion.

I guess the main issue with this is a lot of sources related to Filipino myths are often difficult to find, are unreliable, or plainly just non-existent. Lots of books are often out of circulation and print, or if they are still in print, they are often only sold by specific retailers and often cost a lot of money. Research papers are locked behind a paywall or are only available through specific e-libraries you can only access if you have an affiliation with a university. Online articles may be unreliable and source places that are hard to fact check. Blogs, honestly including mine to be frank, may parrot wrong information from other websites and articles, with their best feature being the possibility that they may have come from oral sources but those are also very few.

Honestly, I was about to go on a long tangent about discussing at least the Tagalog pantheon and mythology because it had a lot of sources I've seen online, but after hours of research, I've found out that there was also a lot of unreliable sources in terms of information about that so I've decided against rambling on further about it for now.

(I am still going to write about my findings on the Tagalog pantheon later but after what I've found out, I might take some time to look through a lot more primary sources which means colonial era texts and harder to find archived works.)

I will say that a good way to connect with more general Filipino folklore outside of mythology itself is probably consuming media that explores folklore and traditional beliefs. I recommend Trese, a Filipino comic turned series on Netflix if you want to see Filipino cryptids being used in a modern-day story made by Filipinos. There are also other comics that focus on Filipino mythology like The Mythology Class and its sequel The Children of Bathala by Arnold Arre.

There's also series and movies that take inspiration from Filipino folklore and mythology with Dayo: Sa Mundo ng Elementalya (English name Niko: The Journey to Magika) as my go-to suggestion. I had also heard good reviews for Amaya, a series created by GMA 7, but honestly I don't think the series clicked with me.

[catofthenine]

Hey ghouls!

I thought that making a non-introductory post would help solidify what I got goin here.

I think that the first things that I want to cover are my definitions, values and other miscellaneous junk, so that my coming posts are more cohesive. I do not claim to be someone who knows everything or makes the "rules of goth", I just form my opinions and claims based on what I see. I love taking part in friendly discussion, as well as hearing critique on my ideas! I've decided to cover "What makes someone goth" today, because I think it is what defines the subculture! *This is SO long! I'll provide a TLDR at the bottom, as well as try and organize each piece of thought!

What I think makes you goth! : I think that many factors come into play within considering oneself apart of the gothic community. This may be super controversial! But please, make sure you read my argument! If you pick it apart I don't mind, but please don't throw baseless accusations at me!

There's a common argument going around places like Instagram and Tiktok, where, the only factor in consideration is "Well, Do you listen to the music?" and, I think that's a really dim view on the community as a whole . Gothic Rock, Deathrock, Darkwave, Post punk, Horrorpunk, Gothibilly, etc. are all excellent music genres, and there's such a vast range of what constitutes as "Goth Music" that I don't think someone can say that they just don't like it! But nevertheless, I don't think it is the only factor in considering oneself goth, gothic, vampiric, etc. (Holy hell, that's a ton of micro labels.)

On Literature

The gothic subculture has roots back to the 1700s, as the first gothic literature by Horace Walpole, Castle of Otranto (1765), was published (Britannica). Britannica has an excellent article about Gothic fiction and if anybody is interested, I'll link it below! Other popular fictions are Dracula by Bram Stoker, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, and Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. (Books are expensive, and I'd like to read more from the genre, but between cost and time, these are the only one's I've read.)

*The article on Castle of Otranto, however, mentions s*xual assault, so please! Take care of yourself!

Gothic fiction and literature are super duper old, and the emergence of gothic fiction, especially around the 1850s, was what I believe to be the first inklings of the gothic subculture. People's ideas are ever evolving, individually, but over lifetimes as well!

There's a very interesting book by Maisha L. Wester, called African American Gothic: Screams from Shadowed Places (2012), I have not read this book, as it costs like a 100 dollars! I did check it out from the library but was too afraid of ruining it to touch it, Haha! I did manage to find the introduction on link springer, but I don't want to pirate the book because I'd love for the author to be able to get paid for the work she's done.

According to it's introduction, African American Gothic: Screams from Shadowed Places (2012) argues that so much media surrounding racism (historical fiction, historical biography, etc) is in fact applicable to gothic media (Horror, Literature, etc), but because it depicts horrors towards black bodies, critics deem it "less scary", or "too realistic" to be considered "applicable".

*Because I haven't read African American Gothic: Screams from Shadowed Places (2012), I am unable to give full context for it!

**IT IS extremely important to include black views and opinions for what makes something gothic, I'm not sure if Wester argued for inclusion in the subculture itself, or just the literary inclusion, but the literature is EXTREMELY important to consider in foundational gothic media, and so I believe Wester's argument for inclusion is something we must all consider when discussing gothic media!

On Fashion

This is an incredibly touchy subject at the moment. I think everyone has different views on the "gothic fashion vs. goth subculture" online argument. Fashion is an expressive outlet for many in the gothic subculture, and I include makeup and clothing as apart of this.

In my opinion, it's not black and white! While I do not think our desire to look cool comes before those who work in sweatshops, plus size and disabled people deserve clothing that they like! It's no secret that plus-sized individuals have a difficult time finding clothing they can wear, and brands like Shein, Romwe, and Cider, all accommodate that. Disabled people who have difficulty leaving their homes, whether it be issues that impact their energy, mobility, or something else, also need clothing to wear! There really is no difference between wearing something gothic vs wearing something basic from these websites, and so while I appreciate the sentiment "Goths don't support fast fashion", there's no possible way to make this a monolithic idea within this specific part of the subculture.

Some people will also accuse others of being classist within this topic. I think it is SO important to remember these few things:

You do not have to be goth! You also do not have to dress gothic to be goth!

There is a set of values that comes with being apart of the subculture! This is like, one of the only necessary factors I consider for members of the subculture.

IMPORTANT! So many baby bats I see are very nervous about not looking "goth enough", and not having as big of a gothic wardrobe as other people. REMEMBER! Most gothic wardrobes are curated over long lengths of time, and anything black can be made into a goth fit!

But this isn't to say that if you are poor, that you do not deserve nice clothes, or new things! I myself have been known to commit the sin of shopping on amazon! I just wanted to put this tidbit in to encourage others to not feel the need to overconsume fast fashion to fit into the community.

All that being said, I do not think fashion alone is enough to consider yourself Goth. I've seen people create a distinction between goth and gothic, and that honestly sounds like a nice way to say poser.

In the past, if you did not listen to the music, share the values, but enjoyed the aesthetic, you were seen as a poser. This got so extreme that people began to anti-label themselves! (I believe this was circa 2000s, with the emergence of emo and scene in prominent media), People would avoid labeling themselves anything at all, There's an interview of Avril Lavigne saying that calling yourself punk is the least punk thing to do, which is now totally clowned on...

... But my point here, is that as many people online who have been alternative for a very long time, seeing another alternative person cemented a feeling of community, as shared interests and values were likely.

On Values

This is so very very long already!

Alternative subcultural values are not monolithic. Metalheads, goths, punks, emos, etc. all have different values, takes, opinions etc. Please do not ask me the difference between all of these, It'd be a super long answer, and I nor anybody actually cares about my opinion about that.

That being said, gothic values and punk values are almost one in the same. I feel that it depends on the type of goth you are, but it is not outlandish to expect every goth to be against capitalism and anti fascist.

A seemingly small portion of goths say that veganism or vegetarianism is necessary, but I really think that's extreme. Necessary veganism/vegetarianism is also anti-indigenous, classist and ableist.

* I do not want to get into a debate on veganism. It is off topic.

Something that I used to see everywhere for a main criteria, is also knowing goth history! This is very important to be able to provide context on why things are the way they are, as well as rules/regulations, as well as understanding the modern gothic movement.

^(I consider this to be Bauhaus' Bela Lugosi's Dead (1979) onward, although many consider The Doors to be the first gothic rock band, and many other influences between The Doors and Bauhaus arose as well. I'll get into this later, maybe my opinion will change after more research is concluded)

Conclusion

That was a lot! Please remember that this is just my opinion, and while i am open to pleasant conversation and critique, I wont respond to anyone unkind and inflexible, and depending on the severity, I may block you! It is not out of hate or spite, but this blog is something I consider to be a safe space, and home to one of my biggest passions.

I think that I could speak more about each topic individually, but I also go outside, and don't want to get caught up in things that do not matter.

I do want to cover history as well! Maybe Vampira, Elvira, and Etcetera!

TLDR:

IMO, The factors that would make somebody goth, are not concentrated to just taste in music! The gothic subculture is not just a music fanbase! Enjoying media such as horror literature and movies, listening to music, dressing up, expressing yourself are all large components in what make up the culture, and between being a horror fan (for ex.) vs. being a goth overlaps in so many areas!

The takeaway I hope that is received is, be open minded. Gatekeeping is necessary to keep the subculture the subculture, but I don't think that it's as rigid as many people think it is.

Song Recommendation: Stigmata Martyr

I wanted to put a Bauhaus song, but I figured since I already linked Bela Lugosi's Dead, it would be redundant. Also it's likely that SO many of anyone who sees this will already know Bauhaus.

Thank you for reading!!

-Cat (They/Them)

(Catofthenine)

[magic-worms]

hello!!

First a funny little thing: I started following u like an hour ago bc ur gravity falls fanart is the coolest I've ever seen and I've been falling into the gravity falls hole again lately and then!!!! I see someone reblogging ur tf2 art and I'm like "hmmmm that artstyle is familiar".. well I think its very funny that ur two current fandoms are also those I'm currently obsessed with hshssh

Okay now on to an actual ask!! What are ur fav headcanons for tf2 and gravity falls?

augh thank you!!!! i'm glad you enjoy both of the fandoms i make the most art for!

as for headcanons, i'll give one for each main character in both gf and tf2 :)

(down here)

gravity falls

dipper- paints his nails to keep from chewing on them and wears a rubber charm necklace to keep from chewing on all his shirts. he hasn't found a trick to stop himself from chewing on pens, unfortunately

mabel- practiced shooting her grappling hook gun to the point where she's a very good shot. ford's teaching her to handle a crossbow (against his better judgement) for what they call self-defense against gnomes

stan- he canonically speaks some spanish but in my mind he's fluent! + he loves watching telenovelas with soos' abuelita

ford- the whole "drinking coffee constantly to stay alive" thing in journal 3 kind of ruined coffee for him. he'll take tea instead thanks

soos- the embodiment of "you can do anything you set your mind to." he's learned to work on cars, clothes, plumbing, electrical, and even computers with nothing but a few youtube walkthroughs and an outdated paper manual for each project

wendy- listens to death metal and isn't beating the "coolest girl in gravity falls" allegations

fidd- grows his hair longer and trims his beard shorter post-canon. has a rad old guy ponytail and no longer gets band aids stuck to his face

pacifica- cuts her hair short after weirdmageddon and eventually stops dyeing it. she's a lot happier with how she looks now!

tf2 (red team)

pyro- lots of the flooring in the main base is concrete or ceramic tile, so they enjoy painting on the floor, particularly in the corners of rooms, along hallways, and on individual floor tiles, creating a permanent "pyro was here" sign

solly- sees "hazardous material, do not eat" labels as a challenge. he is full of uranium, lead, wood chips, pebbles, formaldehyde, and more!

scout- jogs every morning and can never find anyone willing to run with him since he's much faster than everyone

sniper- best driver out of all the mercs. everyone trusts sniper to stay sharp when driving long distances and make good judgement calls in the event of a blu-vs-red chase

medic- extremely extroverted. if he can't engage in conversation with another human for ten minutes he will probably die

spy- very well read but he dislikes re-reading books, hence the large library in his smoking lounge. always ordering new books and magazines

heavy- can't stand seeing the state some of his teammates allow their weapons to get to (usually out of forgetfulness), so he often insists on letting him clean and polish them. heavy weapons guy cares about maintaining his guns and so should you

engie- does math for fun. he's a sick and twisted man

demo- wears pajamas under his work gear so that he can 1) be comfy in battle and 2) strip off his armor and boots immediately after a mission and go take a ten hour nap. he also gets cold often (despite working in a hot climate) and likes to wear the extra layers

[nixiaus]

instead of us, only i remain.

Pairing: Jack Kline x Gender Neutral!Reader (can be read as platonic or pining best friends)

Genre: Angst, fluff (only in flashbacks)

Warnings: Major character death (Jack is dead in this whole fic), there are a lot of flashbacks, a bit of bitterness towards the Winchesters, also the bold italics sentences are the lyrics, set after Jack's death in S14, but before his resurrection in S15

Summary: After Jack's death by God, Y/N struggles to deal with the memories of Jack that resurface in the bunker.

A/N: Okay, so this is my first Supernatural fic! This is based on the song Winter Falls by Stray Kids, so feel free to listen while you read. My requests are open, just read my rules first, please!

Watching Chuck, God, burn the life out of your best friend had easily become the worst thing that had ever happened to you. Yes, you had been with the Winchesters, friends who were like brothers to you, through multiple apocalypses and tragedies, but watching the sweet boy you'd grown to love die hurt you more than you could've ever realized.

But now you do realize. You realize as you stand in Jack's room filled with memories the two of you shared during his short life. From your place right in the door frame, you can see the books you bought him the first week Sam and Dean brought him home.

I am still standing in the same place reminiscing about our old days.

"Hi, Jack!" You wanted to make a good impression on the kid, not only because he was Lucifer's son and could go rogue at any moment, but also because... so far, he seemed to just be a sweet, albeit confused, person.

"Hello, Y/N. What's in the bag?" Jack asked you, curious because you never seemed to come into his room, rather always catching up with him in the kitchen or library.

"Okay, so, I was at the bookstore and I wanted to bring you back something, and then I realized you've probably never read a book. So, I got you a couple!"

A couple was the understatement of the year. Another reason Jack had even asked you what was in your bag was because he could see your arm shaking with the weight of the filled tote bag. There was, at minimum, 10 books in the bag that you brought to him.

"Thank you, Y/N! You're right, I've never read a book. Which one should I read first?" Jack asked as you laid out all of the books you had purchased onto his desk.

"Well, probably the classics first. These," you gestured towards a stack of about 5 books, "are books most people have read and enjoyed throughout, like, centuries. So these are Little Women, Pride & Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, and a couple others I've never read. Those are what a lot of these newer ones are based off of, generally." 

As you looked around Jack's room you got a sense of emptiness with the lack of personal items he owned, or more importantly, the lack of interaction he generally had with others. With how Jack was literally beaming at you, you could tell how happy you were making him by bringing him these books you enjoyed and thinking about him while you went to the store.

"Thank you, Y/N! I can't wait to read them all!" Jack pulled you into a tight, uncomfortably tight actually, hug and you smiled, hugging him back.

As you pulled away, you made an offer to him.

"Sam and I used to read books together, just in the same room to keep each other company or talk about what we were reading. Do you wanna read with me?"

When Jack nodded enthusiastically, that began the journey of your closest friendship.

When tears started welling up in your eye, with your nose burning, you closed Jack's door as you left the room. Sitting here thinking about the boy that had become your best friend in such a short span of time was something you didn't think you were ready for.

Passing Sam as you rounded the corner into the library, he saw your tears and heard your sniffles. "Y/N... I'm so sorry. I'm here for you, so is Dean, anytime you want." 

Although you were still incredibly angry with both of the Winchesters for attempting to lock Jack in the Malak box, without even telling you, might you mention, you still appreciated the way that Sam was trying to be there for you. 

"Thanks, Sammy. I'm, uh, I just... can't seem to stop, you know? My mind's running a mile a minute, I feel so jumpy, like there's something I should be doing to get him back."

"I get it. Even though the literal God killed him, we've cheated death so many times, it feels like we owe it to him to try. But there's nothing we can do, Y/N, the only person as powerful as Chuck is Amara, and well, Jack." You could tell Sam was trying to console you, make you realize that the anxiety you felt about being idle was useless, but in actuality it was making you feel like shit.

"Right. Well, I'm just gonna sit and watch a movie to keep my mind off things." You said with a heaving sigh. With that, Sam gently smiled at you and kept walking his original route to do Chuck knows what while Jack sat and rotted in the Empty.

As you plopped on the big leather couch, you were reminded of the first time Jack ever watched a movie.

"Y/N, what is "The Hulk?" Jack asked with his eyebrows upturned, the same habit you had gotten used to while hanging out with him as much as you did. 

"He's a superhero from a comic book-turned-movie series. He's this brilliant scientist but he turns into a big green giant with anger issues." You explained to him patiently, as by now, you'd gotten hundreds of questions from the boy about pop culture, music, science, and other things. Although sometimes the Winchesters took the time to explain, you were the one who ultimately showed Jack the answers to his questions.

"Do you wanna watch the movies he's in with me? It's called the Avengers." You asked him, already getting up to find the DVD collection you had of the Marvel series.

"Yes, that would be awesome, Y/N. Thank you."

You two sat a normal distance apart while binging a couple Marvel movies that night, but by the time you were falling asleep, you were lying in his lap, with his fingers gently massaging your scalp. Jack had a touch of gentleness when it came to you, you could see it, hell, everyone could see it.

As your eyes began closing, you had to ask, even with the sleepiness in your voice. "Jack, why do you treat me differently than everyone else?"

Jack looked down at you in his lap and smiled. "Because you treat me differently than everyone else does. You're my best friend, at least that's the conclusion I've come to. I like being around you, your energy always seems to... make me feel warm. Like when it was snowing and you bought me a winter coat. You're kind to me, more than anyone else. You make me feel human."

With a sigh, you got up from the couch and went to lie in your own bed. This was the only place memories of Jack didn't seem to plague you, as Dean yelled at him rather loudly when he tried to enter your room. Something about your "purity" or whatever the hell he wanted to hate Jack for that day.

Looking at your wall clock, you saw the time was 09:14 PM. 

Days shorter, nights longer; Freeze, melt, repeat.

It seemed like each day without Jack lasted a single minute, you saw Sam once, you saw Dean every now and then, you'd remember things you now want to forget, then retreat to your room. The same cycle every. single. day. Then in your room, the passage of time seemed to slow to a standstill, the times when you were alone was when you could let go, and sob your lungs out, remembering a warmth and a care you'd never felt before Jack and never will feel again. 

Jack wasn't your first "best friend," but he certainly changed the definition for you. He seemed to literally feel when your emotions would change, the first time you met him, you were anxious and he immediately smiled at you. Jack was incredibly perceptive, always calming you.

We were holding hands... back then it was a warm winter everything was beautiful.

Winter was always your least favorite season. The snow dampened the sounds of the world, made you cold, and made the world that much harder to bear. You hated being cold, everyone who knew you knew that much.

This was Jack's first winter and he watched the snow trickle down from inside the backseat of the Impala on the way back from a hunt that you, him, Sam, Dean, and Cas had all done together. You two and Cas were all crammed in the backseat, and his head rested on your shoulder.

"You keep shivering, Y/N. Are you cold?" Jack asked, shifting his head to look at the side of your face.

"Yeah. It's really cold in here. I hate the winter because of it." You miserably told him, with your teeth chattering, despite the fact that everyone else seemed perfectly warm in the car.

"I can hold your hand, if you want. I saw in a movie once that it made people warmer." Jack told you from his place on your shoulder. His innocence made you beam so widely, he was honestly a bit surprised and confused at why you were smiling.

Honestly, Jack didn't really seem to understand that was more of a romantic aspect to fiction. But you were already a bit more warmed at the fact he even cared enough to hold your hand, despite the fact he's not really initiated much physical contact with people other than you and Cas.

"Sure, Jack. I'd like that."

"When we get home, we can drink hot chocolate and eat soup. That was in a few of the books you gave me." 

"That'd be great, Jack. Hell, you might just make me like winter if you keep up with this." 

You two held hands for hours on that drive back to Lebanon. By the time Cas woke you up, you noticed you had taken off your coat in your sleep anyway. It seems you were warm enough with Jack.

You didn't think you could keep sewing yourself back together just for the seams to keep coming loose at night. Every night you were weeping into your pillows, Jack's pillows, that you had taken off of his bed. At first, you even slept in his room like you were just waiting for him to come back after a hunt with Cas. 

Cas, who before he left, came to your room and told you that you could always call him or pray to him, and he would be there for you.

Even though he had tears in his own eyes, Cas reached down and wiped yours and looked into your eyes.

"Y/N... you made Jack so happy while he was alive, I could see it, I could see how brightly his soul shone when you made him laugh or showed him a song. He appreciated how loved you made him well, and I appreciated it as well. You know... you can always pray to me, call me, and I will come. Or one day, you can come with me, too. Thank you for making Jack's life bright in the moments it was too dark for me to guide him."

You knew Cas to be a man of few emotional words when you first met. He had grown over the years, becoming more sweet, more caring, more human. And with Jack, he had become something like a father, a bit different than it was with Claire. You knew that you caring about Jack had warmed his heart and made him even fonder of you. 

But he didn't know how much that made you fond of him. 

"Cassie, you know... Jack is, fuck, I mean... Jack was the kindest person I have ever met, with or without his soul. And that is largely due to you, I saw so much of him in you. So much of how you were when we first met and yet, so much of you now. Looking at you, sometimes, all I can see is him," You said, looking down at your hands.

"His curiosity at a world he hadn't yet integrated fully into, at things he didn't understand, but his tenderness at it too. Thank you for everything. I understand why you're leaving, and I wanna tell you, too, that I am one, single, call away. I will always be here for you, so will this bunker. Fuck what anyone says." You finished, finally looking back up at Cas and pulling him into a tight hug, not unlike hugs you'd given each other in the past.

"Goodbye, Y/N."

With Jack's death came another loss you saw coming almost immediately. Cas being gone was something you had dealt with many times with his numerous depatures, but it felt different this time. He wasn't dead, or taken, or on a hunt, or running from something. Cas left for a reason, a reason which you can't refute. 

You can't say you were in disagreement with his leaving, you were thinking of the same. But what would you do? Where would you go? You couldn't leave Sam and Dean, even though they were complete asses to Jack, they'd always taken care of you and you were infinitely grateful. 

But... after all these years, maybe it was time to go. After Jack, you don't think you could stay with them anymore, this was harder than they thought it was. Maybe you could honestly go with Cas, you always seemed to click well.

So you wrote a note.

To Sammy and D... 

I'm sorry to leave without talking to you first. Honestly I think we've probably talked enough for you to get why I'm leaving. Sam, I know you hear me crying at night, I know why you make me chamomile tea every morning.

And Dean, I know you try to make things as normal for me as possible. But the truth is, none of this is normal anymore without Jack. So, I'm leaving, I'm going with Cas. I'll be safe, not reckless, and I'm keeping our angel safe, too, okay? Don't worry about us.

I love you both so much. Thank you for caring about me all these years, thank you for everything. Thank you for bringing Jack to the bunker and giving me the opportunity to meet him. Okay, my wrist hurts, I need to stop writing now.

Goodbye, my brothers. From, your Y/N.

After a few quick tears, you wiped your face and grabbed your friendship bracelet Jack had made you a few weeks before his death and slid it on.

"Cassie? Castiel? I'm packed, I'm ready to go." You prayed to your angel, with your backpack on and a machete in hand.

Cas quickly appeared, another gentle smile on the seraph's face.

"Okay, let's go."

I'm okay now. Yeah, I'll be okay.

[shirayuki7]

Ok your tags on the reblog were very cool, would love to hear more about this project. Also, this is entire based on vibes of just existing in or near PA and having incredibly revisionist (and religious) history books, yeah. Sounds right.

Yeppppp! Get ready for a long answer cause i am in the thick of it! I'm pretty much a complete outsider to this topic. USA history doesn't interest me as much as ancient history does. The whole theme of the project is religious in/tolerance, and I picked Pennsylvania because my in-laws are all in Pittsburgh and I thought getting to know the state more would be fun! I've already got a pretty good background in religious history, so most of my research has been contextual colonial history. But the primary source I'm basing my project on is AWESOME. It's "Gottlieb Mittelberger's Journey to Pennsylvania" (free in the Library of Congress btw) and it's just so full of amazing information about colonial PA and how it was viewed by outsiders at the time (for Gottlieb, it was pretty godless and not worth the hype despite how beautiful the country is. He lived in Lancester county for about 4 years before returning to Germany).

The basis of my research is that in Europe, most Protestant sectarians (Quakers in particular) were seen as anti-state/anti-authoritarian. Being a dissenter was the same as being a treasonous terrorist because religion was the basis for most if not all laws and public policy within a country. So dissenters like William Penn were heavily discriminated against based on their beliefs and punished by the state as tho they were public enemies number one (spiritual danger = real danger). So quite frankly, because the America's were the place for criminals to be sent anyway, it kinda made sense to let dissenters leave and rotten themselves and their communities else where. So William Penn gets permission from his buddy King James 2 to create Pennsylvania as a "holy experiment" for liberty of conscience (and Quakers) to go. Penn advertises in England and Germany for the most part about this land of religious freedom and opportunity. With a little censure from the crown about how he sets up the colony, Penn makes it law that people can believe what they want and therefore worship and do what they want (within reason). From the outset of the colony, we have a very diverse environment full of very diverse people. No single people's settled PA, despite Quakers being a majority for a time and even when they weren't the majority they still held most of the power in the colony.

Anyway, all the secondary literature I've read all say the same thing: Penn's holy experiment was a success. Religious tolerance helped make PA economically and politically successful and set up all the American colonies for an equally successful revolution. But I've noticed that they're all ignoring, or just plain forget because 'MURICA, that the colonies were not completely separate entities from their parent country and are enabling the narrative of usa supremacy and individualism that DID NOT EXIST at the time. Individualism sure as hell did exist, but not in the sense of "im an american." It was "I'm an English Quaker" or "I'm a German Lutheran" or other ethnic or religious identification. These historians make it sound like everyone thinks PA was a great thing... but here we have over 100 pages of a German immigrant's travelog that heavily criticizes Penn's colony, telling his fellow Germans that it's just not worth the risk and they're better off at home. Obviously there's a ton more nuance to the account than I'm giving here, but the whole book is him saying "here's this bad thing, here's this good thing but here's the dark side of the good thing that isn't immediately obvious but I will explain it to you for your own good, and here's another bad thing." Most of the negativity he gives about PA in particular is religiously based: anarchy and atheism (exaggerations, but it was how he saw it as a faithful Lutheran). He tells stories of women running the show (heaven forbid!) And how the courts and laws are so lax that everybody does what they want even if theyre sued! These are seen as bad things to him, but obviously to a modern person (and to many a modern Pennsylvanian) it sounds like libertarian paradise. The idea of "success" is what I'm challenging with the Gottlieb account; we as historians are always needed to challenge the narrative. Complicate the story. The 13 colonies as a melting pot and overall success story is a good story and we use it to reinforce murican values in our public schools (something i greatly disagree with but it is what it is). But it's not the whole story and never will be. We've got the puritans in New England doing their thing and the Quakers in PA doing theirs, but what did that actually mean to people at the time? Did they see it as success? I should probably stop now haha! This is getting long. Thanks for asking about my project, it helps me articulate it for my prospectus due in a few days. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[brainworms-all-night-long]

So I've been randomly thinking like haha Sonic would be such a Mondstadt character, he's already an orphan with a knack of adventure freedom based mindset and zero self preservation he'd fit right in but a feew strings of thoughts later and it hit me that Mondstadt parents kinda suck????

A city of freedom with its entire economy reliant on selling alcohol is suprisingly a perfect recipe for creating mentaly ill children that probaly say "I don't have it that bad" to themselves on daily basis.

This post is kinda long but I just needed to put all this word salad somewhere, it has been stewing in my brain ever since Mika came out and it was finally put to words.

Like we have probably the most agredious example in Diona who is a child bartender that hates alcohol sounds contradictory right? Exept she hates alcohol because her dad spends more time at the tavern than with her, and she's a bartender because she wants to make the most revoting concoctions imaginble so people will stop drinking alcohol, while also wanting to destroy the wine industry. All of which sounds silly and over the top, but in her lonely child brain it just makes sense to get rid of the thing her dad chooses over her on the daily, right? All the while she is suffering from succes and subsequently exploited by every adult around her, because of her very neat power which turns every drink she makes into the most fantastic of beverages, no matter the disgusting ingredients used in the proces, and therfore makes the bar she works at a popular destination for drunkards. She just wants to have a dad that cares more for her than the bottle.

Next is Mika, a cryo vision bearer who's character story's first lines read "Mika comes from a loving family" which sounds sweet but suprising for a cryo character, kinda? Exept reading down you realize they might love their child but they, don't really do the whole.. parenting part. They're advetureres that are rarely home and Mika's older brother is usually too drunk to care and has to be covered up for way too often for slacking off on his job as a knight, which forced the poor boy to basically raise himself and steadily develop every anxiety and self esteem disorder and issue there is, because throughout his childhood until now he could never rely on anyone else, be it physicaly or emotionally.

Speaking of adventurer parents that are rarely ever home, Fischl spent most of her days engrossed in library books to distract her from reality of her parents also more ofthen than not fucking off on adventurers without her. In her years she was getting lost yet all too aware in a coping mechanism of play pretend of being an all powerful princess from another world that was exiled and nearly was drained of all her power, while running away from the fact that more emotional attention was given to her by a supernatural raven made of electricity she gained after having a breakdown in a library over her messy identity than her father that shattered her entire sense of self one day. Also more of an angst headcannon but it's possible she joined the adventurer's guild to get closer to her parents while also show them her powers as Fischl just make her one of a kind and most efficient in the field of investigation. But just a thought.

And questionable adventurer parents don't end there because god I have so much to say about Razor but can't atcually articulate it cause theres so little known about them so much is just left for guessing?? The kid was raised by a wolf pack lead by an undead spirit of a demigod composed of ice and wind taking on the form of a seven meter tall wolf. And his human parents, we don't know if alive or dead (they're 100% dead), named him. Razor. Like what the fuck, who names their child like that, put that bottle down and rethink that name. I get it has been nine months since last you had some but by god, Adventurer or not, as a nickname it's ok but girl, he's not a sonic character. Don't name your newborn child as if he was a sonic character. Also that whole being raised by wolves thing, how did that happen???? How and why did he end up in a forest not too long after he had been born, why did no one besides Varka knew about him really and, I mean the kid is now a part of the pack so you can't just take him but why the FUCK WAS HE LEFT WITH THE WOLVES. My working theory is just that his parents were fascinated by wolves and researched them from a safe distance until one day uh oh monsters struck, they got killed conveniently right at Andrius' doorstep who was like "damn you gonna drop your baby here like that- oh oh shit youre dead. Damn my bad what am I supoused to do with this thing tho, I can't leave it there to die too ah fuck-" and adopted the human child known as Razor because the husband was too drunk to stop his also drunk wife (ok I'm exaggerating this a bit but why is his real actual name Razor) and everyone just assumed both the parents and the child died than and there so no one bothered to look for Razor until Varka stumbled upon him that day. But that's literally just a theory/headcannon because Hoyo is allergic to giving us straight answers to character lore questions.

Bennett is a slightly special case because he was- actually one does not know if he was abandoned, his was family killed, or fell as first victim to his luck or if he just spawned in hell one day, but that doesn't really matter because he got cool adoptive adventurer dads that clearly cared for him deeply despite his curse and whatnot when he was a young kid. Exept now his dad's are really old, like have trouble taking care of themselves old. Which leaves Bennett, a former social outcast child(he has friens now that care him), to take care of –we don't actually know how many– old men, some with probably have severe past adventurer injuries. So yea on top of barely surviving the next day because the gods hate him, he also has to work for free as a caretaker of his own parents (but here I can't really blame them cause they're old and did their best while they could)

I don't know anything about Noelle or Sucrose's parent situation. I know there was some messy custody and breakup stuff happening with Jean and Barbara's parents that left an everlasting impact on their relationship as sisters and Albedo's mom caused the apocalypse, but he's not really a mondstader or a teen so he doesn't count

And yea theres Kaeya's and Diluc's dads respectively but Kaeya is not from Mond either and Crepus is dead but seemed to be a nice dad and this post is already way too long so please can we get more lore on these children and some theraphy would be nice too actually.

[forbelobog]

get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog plz

BASICS.

name: ayla age: i'm a vampire (30s) pronouns: she/they years of writing: collectively, i've been writing since i was in elementary school, but rp? like...like 15, 16 years.

REFLECTION.

why did you pick up writing? when i was in elementary school, there was this program thru the library where, if you wrote a certain amount of pages on this little packet they gave you, you could get your book "published." which basically meant getting the pages you wrote and drew on glued between a small hardcover, no bigger than a regular hallmark card. but they let you do this as many times as you wanted and you would even get extra credit for writing 5+ in a grading period. i started writing about anything and everything. a leaf who didn't know how to fly with the wind. a pig who wanted to find a hat. even a turkey who found a family on thanksgiving who loved him and didn't eat him. fastforward to the internet, i would write stories about horses (i am a reformed horse girl, sorry) in blank notepads. i remember my best friend telling me saddle wasn't spelled with t's, but d's. then, i found message boards in sites like neopets and gogaia, and i really kind of let my imagination go. i picked up writing even before i knew why, i kind of always just wanted to. my mom used to read me and my brother the hobbit as a bedtime story and it was very imaginative, i think that's where the whole fantasy/world building curiosity started. i like making and telling stories. when i found out you could do that with other people, it was game over for me.  do you have any writing routines? i used to, back when i rped a lot more frequently and consistently, but not so much anymore. writing has always been something i enjoy doing and rp is just a hobby; as i got older/more "adult" with "adult responsibilities", i realized i never wanted to stress about rp. i write when i feel like it and never before. tho, when i do sit down to write, i tend to do so in silence/with ambient white noise. i can't focus if i have any outside factors. what's your favorite part about writing? invoking emotion. whether it's happy or sad or angry or confused. i like to be able to reach other people with words. i find writing to be theraputic, in a way. for instance i've been writing a nonfiction about my grandmother for awhile, which i started before she passed based around her dementia and sundowners. it was hard to deal with for me but writing became a way to cope in a healthy way.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING.

i. uuuuhhh i guess my scene setting is pretty good? i tend to spend a lot of time with openers making sure there is a reason for why the character is there, what the purpose will be moving forward, and where they are going to currently. i hate it sometimes because i feel like i go on and on about like, a room, but i like to think it helps my partners in the long run. ii. alliteration is my favorite literary tool and i like to think i'm pretty good at it by now. stringing together a good collection of sounds is very fun. iii. idk man this is hard. uuhhhhh i...usually always try to give my partners something to respond to? it's something i had to work on when i first started rping, but not only is your response to whatever the other muse is doing important, but giving THEM something to respond to in a reply is equally important, or else everything kind of falls flat. idk partner feel free to tell me i still suck at it but i have worked on it a lot in the past.

A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON.

when you find it difficult to write what are some things you might do to help get back into it? if i'm looking to get back in to writing a specific character, i tend to reread old threads regarding that character i've done before, or visit things that make me think of the muse. like a playlist, or watch some cutscenes, or fanart. if i'm just looking to writ something in general but can't find the muse, i put on music that inspires me. john darnielle/the mountain goats is a go-to for me, darnielle is one of, if not my favorite writier, and his songs are so descriptive it makes me jealous. QUESTION: what was the first character you ever picked up to start rping? why did you gravitate to them?

tagged by: @dupliciti tagging: @cloudhymn @wingspiked @spadilled @eteing @ofinflorescence @resolutepath and YOU!!! if you steal this from me please tag me i'd love to read.

[forthegothicheroine]

I've have the fortune of never having to read a Beatrice Sparks book, but I still very much appreciate getting a reminder of how awful she is. (The book you mentioned is going on my to-read pile). I wonder if gen Z kids have any awareness of her whole deal, or if Go Ask Alice has been consigned to history.

That's a really good question! I read Go Ask Alice when I was around 12 or so and had been given lots of Barnes & Nobel gift cards for my bat mitzvah. I'd heard it was about a girl who did drugs and died, and that there was controversy over whether it was true or not. I read it, and it didn't make a huge impression on me other than "Well, that was sad." I was pretty clueless about drugs, not being cool enough to get invited to any interesting parties, so it seemed plausible enough.

I don't know if Barnes & Nobel still sells Go Ask Alice, but I doubt they have the balls to sell Jay's Journal.

For those, Gen Z or otherwise, who don't know, Go Ask Alice was supposedly the true diary of a girl who, well, did drugs and died. Jay's Journal was supposedly the true diary of a boy who got into the occult and then died. Both, and other such books, were in fact written by Beatrice Sparks, a freelance writer and certified liar. (Also a Mormon, which I mention only because I've heard ex-Mormons say you can tell it from the language used in Go Ask Alice.) Alice was bullshit written at the height of panic about weed and LSD (for the record, both can be bad for you if you already have mental illnesses, but don't cause them on their own,) and it was pitched to a celebrity whose daughter's suicide may or may not have occurred under the influence.

That's bad and exploitative enough, but Jay's Journal was an act of monstrous cruelty. Sparks took the diary of a real kid who committed suicide, which was sparse but detailed depression, drugs, religious oppression, heartbreak, and intervention by parents that we would today call abuse. Based on him being vaguely into hippie mysticism and having once used a ouija board, she slandered him as an animal-sacrificing satanist who had been possessed by a devil, and his girlfriend as the same. This was a journal that had been sent to him by the boy's mother, who believed in Go Ask Alice and thought that getting the word out about teen depression was important.

A lot of lies get spread around today about teens in danger, often by other teens on places like TikTok, but in the age of google, it is at least a lot easier to look things up if they sound implausible (whether or not people actually do so.) I have no idea what they're teaching kids these days about drugs, especially in states where weed is legal; I was taught that all drugs were super addictive, until I reached my senior year and a health teacher admitted not all of them were. I imagine it varies wildly. I don't know if any conservative schools out there use Go Ask Alice as required reading, but it's possible.

(Hilariously, Go Ask Alice is also one of the most banned and challenged books in high school libraries because there's lots of implausible sex in it.)

So, to kids and parents and teachers, I guess the lesson here is to verify things where you can. If you see a viral post that sounds outlandish, check for it on Snopes. If people are scared that teens are levitating pencils with their minds due to the powers of the devil, ask why those kids haven't gotten a million dollars from James Randi. Google an author's name if something feels off. Because sometimes outlandish stuff turns out to be true, but sometimes people have a lot to gain by lying.

(And read Unmask Alice by Rick Emerson.)

I'll let Paul F. Thompkins and Danny Lavery have the final words:

The Stages of Accepting That Go Ask Alice Wasn’t Real

Lines From Go Ask Alice That, In Hindsight, Should Have Tipped Me Off That This Was Not A True Story