#mystery narrator

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Flower Empowered.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[its-your-mind]

thinkin bout how orv starts with kim dokja actively working to ensure that kim namwoon dies during the first scenario

thinkin bout how kim namwoon was a teenager at the start of the scenarios, dealing with the apocalypse using the mental paths that came easiest, jumping into the new world with both feet

thinkin bout kim dokja as a teenager. tired. hurt. alone. his internal and external struggles ignored by the adults around him. choosing to throw himself off a rooftop because there wasn��t anything in his life worth living for

thinkin bout how kim dokja woke up again, even though he had planned not to

thinkin bout a teenage boy. lost, alone, broken, scared, angry, in need of someone to come and show him how to keep moving forward

thinkin bout a protagonist in a webnovel who is an example to you of how to survive against all odds. a mantra to repeat when living life as yourself is too hard

thinkin bout a hardened and powerful hero who knows exactly how this world works, who holds out a hand offers you a place with him

thinkin bout teenage kim namwoon, looking to yoo joonghyuk as captain, teacher, and protector

thinkin bout teenage kim dokja, looking to yoo joonghyuk as role-model, hero, and refuge

thinkin bout teenage kim dokja, who saw himself more as kim namwoon than any of yoo joonghyuk’s other companions

thinkin bout adult kim dokja, reclusive and unsocial, hiding his phone from his coworker so she doesn’t see what he’s reading. convinced that yoo joonghyuk would look down on him if he learns who he “really” is. ashamed of any details kimcom learns about his past

thinkin bout what happens to a life when the person living it has never seen in it any redeeming qualities or objects of value. how someone feels about life when they tried and failed to give up that life a decade ago, and every day since has felt almost accidental

thinkin bout the lesser fire dragon. the disaster of floods. the strongest in seoul dome. the devourer of dreams. the 73rd demon king. the industrial complex. the war between good and evil. the wager with secretive plotter.

thinkin bout the most ancient dream. an empty station. a cold and hard bench. bandages and a notebook and a too-loose uniform. smaller than he should be for his age and more broken than any child should ever become. alone.

thinkin bout an unbreakable faith, shattered. a family frantically throwing themselves at their heart to save him from himself. desperate hands prying a blade out of shaking ones, moments before the jagged edge pierced deep into vulnerable flesh

thinkin bout how the younger kim dokja, recently released from the hospital, does not watch. instead, he instinctively curls up to protect the parts of himself already hurting the most. he begins to repeat his mantra

thinkin bout how kim namwoon kicked and fought and screamed and stabbed. and then, when he realized there wasn’t anything he could do, he got down on his knees and begged kim dokja for his life

thinkin bout how kim dokja just stood over him, held him in place, and looked at him in silence as the clock ran out

thinkin bout kim dokja at the beginning of his story and at the end of his story. in a subway. looking down at a teenage boy.

making a choice. the same choice, both times.

the first time: an explosion, a blood splatter on his reflection, and a confused and wary protagonist who has lost one asset and gained another

the last time: arms holding him back, a family hugging him tight, and another protagonist who steps in front of him. holds the child close. forgives him everything. offers up anything more he could need. and kim dokja watches as the person with the strongest claim to vengeance upon this younger facsimile of himself instead gently gathers up the most ancient dream, tucks him close against his chest, and walks away with him safe and sound in his arms.

[marimeeko]

Bones adding some more little details to bkdk!

Katsuki saying Deku's name as he goes through the portal! (Manga he just says "huh?") BONUS: This is something that has now happened TWICE in the story!

Izukus look of sheer panic...possibly directed at Katsuki?? From the angles, it might be! (forgive me! I have work today and haven't seen the episode yet, only images and gifs) Even so, if he's looking backward towards the portal he's being pulled through, in the Manga it looked more like a look of surprise... this in the anime? Looks like he's legit scared. Wide eyes, small pupils...boy is stressed.

This is just what I've read from another person's post, but Katsuki sounding really concerned when telling BJ that Deku isn't there

This exciting but also horrifying bc we know what's coming next 🥲🥲🥲

[thechaotichorselord]

TW: Blood

[embracing-the-ineffable]

The circular bookshop rug CHANGES?!

(Edit: this is the rug that rests on top of the portal, under the chandelier. I think(?) there's only one of those!)

I saw someone mention this in a comment, but haven't seen any pics or discussion about it yet, so I checked. It's another inexplicable (ineffable?) "continuity" error:

S2e1, prepping to do the half miracles to hide Jim!Gabriel:

S2e5, as Nina enters the ball:

(More pics, including the season ONE rug, which was used for an s2 promo photo, and some discussion, below)

S2e5, prepping to defend the bookshop from the demons after Crowley walks most of the humans out:

S2e6, Crowley tidying the bookshop while Azi has a chinwag:

And sure, Aziraphale could have enchanted it to look more "Jane Austen-esque" for the ball, but then why did it change back in e6? It looks like Nina and Maggie's clothes for the ball stayed throughout e6, so it's not like the ball enchantments expired, Cinderella-style, or something...

Like the two different wigs for Crowley in Job, it seems superfluous to have two different rugs for the bookshop. And yet ...

It seems like it must be a Clue about something! Unreliable Narrator(s)? Another magic trick we didn't see? What do you think?

Edit 2: @rebeccasteventaylor had a good question about the rug in s1. I checked, and you'll perhaps be unsurprised to learn that the rug in s1e4, when Azi talks to Floating Head Metatron, is similar to s2e1 when they do the half miracle, but definitely not the same. The chairs also look similar but not exact:

And here's a wider view of s1e4:

And a wider view of s2e1:

I understand they Actually Burned the bookshop and everything inside during s1, and then had to recreate it for s2 (there's a really wild post about recreating a hand painted antique tiled sink that talks more about that), so I don't know if the similar-but-not-exact chairs, big red rug, and round rug are more casualties of that, or are meant to look different...

Edit 3: EXCEPT. They USED the season 1 rug in season 2 promo photos!

So... they didn't burn it? Or they did burn it and then they recreated it and didn't actually use it for s2??

I can't think or even breathe, this is SO WEIRD.

Interested in diving further into all the Good Omens mysteries? I have lots more of my own posts plus Clues and metas from all over the fandom, here.

[eirenical]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook | Lian Hua Lou | 莲花楼 | Episodes 3 & 9 - The Letter

There is so much we don't know about what happened ten years ago between Sigumen and Jinyuanmeng.  A lot of it gets unraveled as the show goes on, but one thing remains true: there is a hell of a lot of unreliable narration to pick through to get to the truth.  And when it comes to the particular truths of what happened between the individual people involved, that becomes even more true.

And one of the little mysteries that always bothered me was this letter that Qiao Wanmian wrote to Li Xiangyi to break up with him.  Because I absolutely could not figure out when he actually got that letter.  Anyway, I finally caught a few details that helped me to tease that apart and my first realization was that he fucking LEFT HER ON 'READ' for about a month (Li XIangyi, PLEASE OTZ) and the second realization was that we get two different versions of these events YET AGAIN, but this time both from Li Xiangyi's POV in flashbacks, and I'm CHEWING GLASS OVER IT, so naturally I have to share.

So the first time we get this particular flashback is in episode 3.  Li Lianhua is remembering the aftermath of the Donghai Battle, how he fell into the ocean and washed up on the shore... a husk of what he had once been.

He wakes up and makes his way into town and to Sigumen's steps, overhearing all this terrible news as he walks.  People injured, homes destroyed, people killed, and so much of the blame being placed on all the sects, and on Sigumen in particular.  And as he walks, you can see it all starting to weigh him down, until he's literally bent over from the weight of it on his back.

And then the final betrayal.  His people, his friends, want to disband the sect.  They want to walk away.  They blame him and his hubris for this disaster.  And the coup-de-grace is Xiao Zijin asking Qiao Wanmian... "You don't like this place either, right?"

And the sad look on Qiao Wanmian's face finally breaks Li XIangyi of his paralysis and he turns away, back to the scene unfolding on those steps and drifts back to the shore, where he ultimately collapses.

And that's all we get.

We know he returned to Sigumen.  We know he overheard them wanting to disband the sect.  We know he left without a word.  And that's the end of the story as far as Episode 3 is concerned.

But this makes sense.  Li LIanhua is mid-Bicha attack and has just left Fang Duobing on the side of the road when this flashback comes on.  He's fighting his own body in a desperate bid for survival to complete the one task he's set himself and Fang Duobing has just dredged up all this stuff and gone off on a tear about how he's Li Xiangyi's disciple.  A road Li Xiangyi never got a chance to walk.  Another person he failed along the way.  And so he's focused on all the ways in which he is a failure in that moment, all the ways he doesn't live up to Fang Duobing's hero, Li XIangyi, all the ways that he is no longer that man.  So he zeroes in on the moment he lost it all: his reputation, his sect, his health, his power.  So that's the part of the flashback that we get.

But in Episode 9, we have an entirely different set of circumstances.  He's just saved his A-mian.  He's focused on helping her let go of the man he thinks she still loves.  He's putting himself aside to focus solely on her (or so he thinks—that's honestly a question for later, but bear with me, we'll get there ;D) and what she needs.  And we get dumped into this flashback again.

Only this time it doesn't start on the beach.  It starts here:

It starts with Li Xiangyi seeing his sect disbanded again.  Only this time, he remembers the words that come from Xiao Zijin differently:

There's no speaking out load of "you hate it here too, don't you?" or any similar sentiment.  Because at this point, Li Lianhua knows this isn't true.  She can't hate it there.  She lives there.  She didn't leave.  And she doesn't hate him because she very obviously misses him and mourns him.  So in his mind, he gives this moment a little less abrasiveness.  A little less fierceness.  But because he's so focused on A-Mian in this memory, we finally find out that there is an entire piece to this incident that we haven't gotten until now.

A-Mian's grief.

A-Mian's recognition that he was there.

And the letter.

The letter she wrote a month ago.

A letter Li Xiangyi NEVER READ.

We get to see A-Mian's regret.  We get to see her grief: both for her own sense of shame at being unable to keep up with the man she loved, and her sense of loss over her own innocence and the opportunities that they'll never have now to make amends.  And we get to see her break from her grief for just a moment to rush down those stairs because some instinct in her just won't quit.

Li Xiangyi had returned.

And she knew.

But it was too late.  She no longer trusted herself.  And Li Xiangyi, having heard her outpouring of grief, had already decided that he owed it to her and to everyone else to just… walk out of their lives for good. 

And he did. 

But he owed her one last thing first.

He owed it to her to read the letter that she'd written him a month ago and he'd never opened.

So before he goes back to that beach, he returns to his rooms in Sigumen to retrieve that unopened letter and read it.

On first watch, I had assumed this was after his healing with Monk Wuliao.  That he was RE-reading that letter, not reading it for the first time.  But these are clearly his rooms in Sigumen.  The desk he conducts business from is at the bottom right and the table he confronts Shand Gudao from is on the left. But unlike when we usually see these rooms, brightly lit during the day, they're now mostly in darkness, the sun clearly setting given the angle of the light coming into the room. This is the sunset of Li Xiangyi. The last moments of his life, in a way.

And the letter is very VERY obviously unopened when he first takes it out:

And reading that letter is the final nail in Li Xiangyi's coffin, I think.  Final proof that he'd failed in every aspect of his life: being a brother, being a lover, being a sect leader, being a friend, being a student.  After this, he leaves Sigumen and goes back to that beach to lay down where he washed back up initially, ready to let the death he temporarily escaped take him away.  And when the monk saves his life anyway, he still manages to kill off the part of him that was Li Xiangyi.  Li Xiangyi is dead, he insists over and over and over again, until he believes it himself.

Because in that letter—a letter he left unread FOR A MONTH—Qiao Wanmian manages to show him that he never really saw her at all.  That he never saw one of his dearest loved ones in pain right in front of him—pain that he finally witnessed on the steps of Sigumen as she poured out her grief and regret in sending this letter to begin with.  How ironic then, that a letter she'd sent intending to set him free of her to fly up to the heights on his own, was the final arrow that brought him down.  I don't think that's what she would have wanted at all.

But I really feel for her.  I do.

Just imagine sending this letter and knowing that it's sitting in Li Xiangyi's mail pile somewhere… and assuming that he read it and that's what spurred him on to this last desperate fight.  Because in that outpouring on the steps that clearly what she thought she did.  She thought this letter sent him to his death.  And in that moment she's wrong, because HE NEVER READ IT.  Not until long after that.  Not until after this moment.  And fucking HELL, but that just hurts me.

Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything if he hadn't witnessed that moment.  Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything if he hadn't read that letter.  Maybe he still would have felt that he'd failed enough to warrant death of some kind.

But maybe not.

I guess we'll never know.

[ha-bloody-ha]

I CANNOT

[the-phoenix-heart]

okay so I've been spending a lot of time thinking about Harry Potter recently and trolling the wiki for reasons and I have the weirdest observation about the series.

What is JKR's deal with Ravenclaw women?

I mean consider our main Ravenclaw girls: Luna Lovegood and Cho Chang (and Marietta Edgecombe). Luna in the movies is portrayed as whimsically queer, and that's not inaccurate to the books, but in the books she is more often a punchline than anything. She's a parody of the Ravenclaw ideals of creativity and openminded-ness to the point where she believes crazy conspiracy theories.

But she's our most positively portrayed Ravenclaw. Which is more than I can say for Cho and Marietta. Cho is portrayed as a pitiable character, someone so emotional and loyal that she is sympathetic, but the narrative portrays her overemotional nature and loyalty as bad traits. She's so emotional she'll blow up over perceived threats, and dwells on trauma, and it makes her a drag to talk to. And her loyalty is a bad thing because she chooses to be loyal to Marietta. Marietta is ESPECIALLY treated awfully. Marietta is scared for her mother's job that she rats out the DA and for her choice she is forever branded a traitor at 16, and this is completely justifiable. Like, if Hermione can jinx a paper to disfigure a person's face than couldn't she just jinx the paper to make it physically impossible to reveal the DA, except perhaps under the influence of veritaserum? Like the film did? But no, Hermione is instead more preoccupied with punishing than preventing (an insane thing for me to say, I'm sorry Hermione it's not your fault that your author is kinda insane about women).

(And just as a sidebar but Marietta is also given an illustration that makes it clear she was kinda ugly before the pimples which is so rude, but also so like JKR.)

Then you have very minor characters like Padma who are just generally portrayed as kinda bitchy. Padma gets off better than her sister in terms of being treated as bitchy, but it seems like Padma always carries the stigma of being disappointed by Ron at the Yule Ball.

But this goes back even FURTHER, to the oldest Ravenclaw student we are introduced to, Helena Ravenclaw.

In the films, again, Helena's scene with Harry is haunting. She's treated with respect and tragedy (almost all of the dialogue in the film is original). But in the books, yes we actually get her tragic backstory, but she is portrayed as haughty, vain, and prideful.

You can also add in Trelawney there as a Ravenclaw who is treated like a joke (crazy* and alcoholic).

And consider that the two women we know were almost in Ravenclaw, Hermione and McGonagall, end up going to Gryffindor and are portrayed as better off for it.

And like there is more to explore here. The four Ravenclaw men we really get to know are Filius, Ollivander, Xenophilius, and Lockhart. Xenpohilius is a conspiracy theorist (and a death eater sympathizer I just know it) and Lockhart is a buffoon who only really upholds the Ravenclaw wit and is skilled at memory charms.

(There's this crazy part of the Ravenclaw wiki page that actually compares Lockhart to Cho Chang because they both wanted to be popular. WHAT.)

Meanwhile you have Ollivander who is a positive Ravenclaw character, but is also barely in the books and Filius Flitwick. And Filius is a positive character but it is also canon that the Sorting Hat almost put him in Gryffindor, which seems like a pointed attempt to make it clear he's better than most Ravenclaws. Because he's got something of a Gryffindor edge to him.

I don't really know what the whole point of me going on this rant was about, other than just to point out that JKR is weird about Ravenclaws and the women in general. Almost all of them aren't allowed to actually uphold the actual values of their house: Wisdom, Intelligence, Learning. The only traits they ever really uphold is Wit if they are popular and Creativity, which seems to be a nice way of saying they're crazy conspiracy theorists. The only characters that really get anything good out of the house are Minerva and Hermione, and them being hatstalls is only meant to emphasize their intelligence in comparison to their Gryffindor peers. Otherwise Ravenclaw seems to just be JKR's go to bitchy/we need a villain who isn't Slytherin house.

*When I say "crazy" in this post I am referring to how JKR treats the characters. Babbling, loony, conspiratorial, and not in their right minds.

[little-editor2]

IM BACK BABY!!!

Got some inspiration back! Enjoy the ringos

[itstwoamandimcursingyourname]

camilla reminds me of a girl written by a man

[metanarrates]

it turns out i am not immune to time loop based mysteries

[qpjianghu]

Mysterious Lotus Casebook / The Kingkiller Chronicle

[shiroikabocha]

It’s rare for me to read something that feels genuinely unlike anything else I’ve ever read, so these Terra Ignota books are really something else. I’m surprised I haven’t heard more about them before! Challenging, unsettling, fascinating, weird as hell but also keeps uncovering things that feel like deep emotional truths. Good books, man.

Ada Palmer, first book is called Too Like The Lightning. Go in blind and try to suspend your instinct to categorize for as long as possible.

[shy-sapphic-ace]

Old Gods of Appalachia gives me the same vibes as listening to music by Lord Huron— it’s just the perfect blend of supernatural and folktales and being so deep in the woods it feels like the light can’t reach you anymore, and I am absolutely in love.

^ I mean, this is exactly what listening to the podcast feels like (at least to me)

[bbcphile]

WIP Wednesday

I've finally worked up the courage to post the opening of one of the Mysterious Lotus Casebook fics I'm writing (Li Lianhua/Di Feisheng/Fang Duobing), specifically, from my post-canon fic where LLH's shiniang tried to sacrifice herself to cure him.

Tw/cw: suicide attempt, mention of off-page non-consensual medical procedure, internalized ableism

***

Li Lianhua crashed to his hands and knees on the ground as the last trickle of his borrowed qi abandoned him, the densely-packed sand doing nothing to cushion the blow. The impact rattled through his spine and ribs, shaking loose a bout of coughing that forced him to swallow down the burning flare of copper trying to escape from his mouth. He couldn’t cough up blood now, not here, too many steps away from the water’s reach. It would leave evidence of his route, a trail that his shiniang would undoubtedly follow once she had broken free from the immobilization. He couldn’t let her find him until the job was done. 

He pushed himself to standing, his arms and legs shaking hard enough to nearly drop him back to his knees, and he blinked to will the dancing black spots from his eyes. The waves awaited him, and he refused to crawl to meet them. He took a staggering step toward the sound of crashing water ahead of him, far fainter now than it had any right to be, and squinted against the sunlight to get his bearings. 

A large gray lump on his left snagged his attention, disrupting the blur of gold and blue that filled up the rest of his view. Why did that look familiar? He took an unsteady step closer, pressing his palm against his chest to convince his lungs to hold back a cough one more time, and the gray lump resolved into a rock. 

A rock that had once served as a pillow that was soft only in comparison to how hard the rest of the day had been.

Of course. He’d landed at Donghai beach. He swallowed back tears with a bitter laugh. Never let it be said that the universe didn’t have a sense of humor.  

He’d returned after all: three months late for the duel and over a decade late for bringing his decrepit body back to the waves that had so decisively spat him out. But surely this time, with all the mysteries solved and no business left unfinished, the sea would accept the offering of his broken frame. Li Xiangyi was long dead and it was past time for Li Lianhua to follow his example. He was already a ghost in every way that mattered. And this was the only way to guarantee his shiniang would live.

She would be furious, of course, but wasn’t furious better than dead? How could it be unfilial to make sure she lived on? Too many people had died for him; he refused to let her join those ranks. Dying to save her was already a far better death than he deserved. 

As for the others, Xiaobao would have his teachings and would be too busy climbing the heights of the jianghu to miss the weak physician he once protected. 

And a-Fei—

—well, how could he still fixate on defeating a ghost with Xiaobao shining more brightly than Li Xiangyi ever had?

No, this end was far better for everyone, and best of all, no one would sacrifice their life or be forced to play caretaker to an empty husk of a man.

A familiar chill seared through his veins and meridians, despite the warmth of the fur of his outer layer, stealing away his breath and the amorphous blue blur before him. He took another stumbling step toward where it had been, his heart stuttering painfully in his chest. 

Not much longer now. It seemed his frenzied dash here and self-shattered heart meridian were more efficient for what he had in mind than the weight his waterlogged fur coat would have offered.

Perhaps he didn’t need the coat for this at all. His body would certainly float further without it. And not even his shiniang could save him now, so what harm could it do to leave some evidence behind? Xiaobao might not believe the beggar’s words, but surely this fur cloak at the water’s edge would put to rest any lingering futile hopes. And then Xiaobao would tell a-Fei.

And if it brought them peace, if it let them say goodbye, then how could he not leave it behind?

It was decided, then. 

He lifted his hands to the coat’s laces, then paused. Were those voices? For a moment, he could have sworn he heard—

—Ah, no, the hallucinations must have started again. 

He smiled. At least he had heard a-Fei and Xiabao one last time, if only in his mind.

He untied his laces with fumbling, stiff fingers, and let the coat fall behind him. 

His heart and lungs clenched with another spasm, and a wave of dizziness broke over him, threatening to drop him to his knees once more. 

He fought against it, muscles shaking as they never had during battles. He couldn’t surrender now; not until he reached the water. He could manage three more steps. He had to.

He tried to lift his foot again.

The world swam before him, and darkness dragged him under.

[rinbylin]

I look at my naive self turning up in a story I don't exist in waiting for my answer to a reason for the state I'm in he understands he understands I can't afford to give so I turn around and walk towards the sea (山海)