#negative stuff

[gingeredmink]

Not sure how to word this.

Depression's been awful recently. I'm really suicidal, struggling to not relapse back into self-harming, and bitter all my past attempts failed and I'm still here.

I don't know, I guess just. Any words of comfort or anything would be appreciated. Just want to not feel like a waste of space for once.

[makima-s-most-smile]

Me *still reeling from having a tumor removed from my brain*

My family: Yeah, since that is now done loose weight and look for a job

[flightofthefaeriedragon]

[Edit: Just remembered I can use a read more thingie. Content warning for toxic family relationships]

Wondering at what point I should just block my mother's number.

She's always been judgmental and manipulative, and she's gotten so toxic over the years that I avoid contact with her b/c it never goes well... And now she's accusing me of being "emotionally abusive" by not talking to her, because I didn't respond in a timely manner to her latest text. I don't even respond to my friends that fast.

I dunno, mom, if you genuinely think I'm abusive, you should probably stop trying to force me into your life. Self care and all that.

[kitramune]

I don't normally post super personal stuff but I want to apologize if I'm not myself for a while. My house rabbit, Thurberi, died in my arms this morning and I couldn't help him. I couldn't save my family, and it's understandably brought up some bad feelings I've struggled with. This isn't a call for sympathy or anything, just... I want to let people know so I don't accidentally hurt any feelings. My mother's been in the hospital and now this and I'm having a major fml moment to put it lightly.

[marfian]

So act 3 huh

[sokuly419]

How do people get and keep more than one friend? Like seriously.

I’ve basically lost every other close friend I’ve ever had growing up. The ones I had in school just kinda bailed after graduation if they didn’t already when I came out. The couple I made at my first job just died out and my best friend at the time took her own life. And another friend kinda stopped too and I have my theories about it and I’m trying to have at least a shred of hope about the future but it is what it is I guess. Then a good friend I made at my current job just kinda suddenly stopped talking to me for some reason.

I have one friend that isn’t my wife. And he lives in another state.

I don’t get it. Finding friends as an adult is so hard. Sometimes I just want to give up on it and be content with the two people I do have. And maybe I should?

I’ll just write my silly little stories, read stories, and shitpost to the void.

When do I get to the part of therapy that actually helps me with this stuff?

[engravedlives]

random green blinkies

[angelofdumpsterfires]

how i feel about all the changes in s3

[miracle-negative]

TA-DA!

Fresh belongs to @/loverofpiggies

Ink and fresh!ink belongs to @/comyet

[inkskinned]

sure i find you in my hair and under my pillow and in the car. but i know in my heart you are picking me out of your teeth. i know i am burning through your sundays, sticking to your ceiling.

i hope i'm in every bitter cup of coffee and every candle wick and every bath. i hope my shadow flickers under your door so the empty hallway i have left behind is a swift dart of nothing more. i hope you find me in notebooks and stop signs and fleetwood mac - like i am marginalia on your life, i want my fingerprints burned into your days like acid.

i loved you, and you know i loved you, and for the rest of your life i will be the person you broke. for the rest of your life i hope the shame of that runs like a cattle dog, bites at your heels. i hope every time your cup is full or the moon is a toenail or a cat is purring or a laugh is in your belly or the sky turns pink while the sun is setting - i hope you remember that someone loved you, and you crushed them in your palms. you extinguished every future i lit. i hope that haunts you.

i hope you never fucking forget it.

[calypsolemon]

dance on a razor's edge

[makima-s-most-smile]

Y'know, I like living in Europe...

But sometimes...

Sometimes...

I got a letter back from the hospital where I'll get the tumor removed. I assumed it was the recommendation of the Doctor. Okay, stress, fear, tears, thoughts like: fuck, I still need to make a will (because what if I am part of the 5% where things go wrong) and an advanced directive (because what if) and is my organ donor stuff up to date amd I need to clean my flat and repair my washing machine first and all...

And then I open it

AND BEFORE THEY CAN TAKE MY CASE ANY FURTHER THEY NEED MY SIGNATURE BECAUSE OF DATA PROTECTION

And... it makes sense... But it would have been nice to be told this when I phoned them and was told that I could 'just' send in my case data first, since the hospital is six hours away.

*tiny lizard screams*

At least I have now a list with to do stuff...

[kiisaes]

babygirl.png

[stars-obsession-pit]

Tim has found his soulmate (not a soulmate AU, just in the like “i think we’re totally meant to be together” way). Well, okay, it’s entirely one-sided so far, but he’s sure SpecterNova will reciprocate once they’re in proper contact.

He’s already found everything he publicly can on the youtuber, but he’s still digging deeper. It’s weirdly difficult—his love must like his privacy!—but he’s making headway.

On the other end, Danny is getting nervous about the dedication of his new internet stalker. Even with Tucker’s help in setting up his online security and the scrambling effects of ectoplasm, they can tell that the person is still making progress. They don’t seem like they’re a part of the GIW, but that doesn’t mean their search can’t harm him in some other way.

He really hopes he doesn’t have to change identities again. Having to do it the first time to flee the GIW was bad enough, and he’s been liking his current life.

[spearxwind]

If you guys will forgive me making a sappy post, life is genuinely about love. Finding people and things to love. Not just romantically, but in general. Loving your friends. Loving the things you get to do. Loving a partner. Loving what you watch or read. Get lost in the world around you sometimes, in nature, or in community or in family. Appreciate the little details, be vocal about it, let loose all the compliments in your head. Especially when we live in such a hateful world, it's so important to just... love. Anything. Everything.

[engravedlives]

misc band/music blinkies