#never has my mood swung so fast

[milesworld96]

I’m sorry to do this during dark times but

YALL?? IM SORRY BUT BRO LOOKED SO😍😍😍😍 AND HE LITERALLY ISNT WEARING SNYTHING SPECIAL

Anyways

He had me sobbing and I wanna STRANGLE HIM😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[leaderwonim]

I HATE (LOVE) YOU.

part one | part two | part four

pairing. situationship!nishimura riki x fem!reader

summary. nishimura riki despised love, so why the hell was his heart beating so fast around you?

If anyone were to ask Nishimura Riki what he thought of love, he’d say it was pointless and quite frankly — a joke.

Nishimura Riki did not believe in love. He didn’t believe in going on multiple silly little dates just to maybe, maybe ask out the person for them to maybe say yes.

He hated the concept of dating. He hated the concept of love.

“What’re you thinking about?” Sim Jaeyun, one of Riki’s closest and really only friend, swung his arms over the much taller boy. “How to take over the world and rule with an iron fist?”

Riki scoffs at that, flicking Jaeyun in the head. “No. But if I were to take over the world, I’d kill you first.”

Jaeyun pretends he’s offended by bringing a hand over his chest, leaning forward to make it more believable that Riki’s words truly hurt his heart.

“How could you say that? I’m your only friend!”

You watch from the distance, watching Riki’s eyes crinkle from both annoyance and amusement, watching as his hands come to each side of Jaeyun’s body, tickling the older boy with no mercy.

It’s in moments like this that you realize Nishimura Riki is just a teenage boy, and that maybe a teenage boy wasn’t the love of your life after all.

“What are you thinking about?” It was Asakura Jo’s voice that snapped you out of your thought. “Math equations, I hope. Your SATs are soon.”

“Shut up.” You shriek, swatting Jo’s face away from yours.

“I’ll never see what you see in him,” he snickers. “But young love, right?”

“Jo, you are one year older than us. One.” You roll your eyes.

“That’s one more year of love experience than you have.” Jo shrugs his shoulders. “Whatever though, your boyfriend looks mad, I’m gonna go.”

Before you can deny that Riki was your boyfriend, Jo’s already leaving, engaged in a new conversation with Kyomi.

“What was that?” A glaring Nishimura Riki already makes you feel annoyed. He could be an asshole when he was in a mood.

“I was talking to Jo. You know, my SAT tutor.”

“Yeah yeah,” Riki waves your words off. “I still don’t know why your mom hired him. I’m so much better.”

“Riki, I love you but you’re terrible at math and English.” You say.

“Oh, you love me?” He teases you by softly nudging you with his side. “L/N Y/N loves me.”

“Yah Nishimura, I will kill you.”

He scoffs, pretending to surrender. “I’m sorry, forgive me your highness.”

You roll your eyes at his sarcasm, linking your arms with his as you two make way to the vending machines.

“You gotta stop doing that.” Riki says, although his tone doesn’t sound like he’s serious at all. “People might think we’re dating if you link arms with me.”

“Oh really?” You put in a few coins, pressing number 36, which was a snickers ice cream bar. “Yah Riki! Give that back!”

It’s too late though — Riki’s already taken a bite out of your ice cream, almost choking on it when you smack his shoulder.

“Okay sorry!” He laughs, a noise that you’ve grown to love despite your love and hate relationship towards the Japanese boy. “Here, I only took a small bite.”

Your eyes widen when he shoves the bar towards your mouth, waiting for you to open so he could feed you.

“This is gross.” Jaeyun, Kiyomi, and Jo all watch from a distance, shaking their heads at one another. “Not a couple my ass.”

As soon as Riki and you are done with school for the day, his instincts instantly go for your school bag, swinging it over his shoulder despite how heavy it was.

“Yah,” he says, fingers coming down to mess with your ponytail. “This bag is so heavy, no wonder you’re so short.”

Your cheeks puff out and you make a halt, which almost has Nishimura Riki tumbling over you since he hovered above you.

“You’re crazy!” You say, pushing him backwards. “I don’t know how your sisters deal with you everyday.”

“They love me.” He defends himself.

He drops you off at your house, bidding a quick goodbye to your grandmother before dashing back to his house.

“Geez, did you run a marathon or something?” Riki’s older sister says, giving a look of disgust towards her brother.

“No.” He places one of his hands against his chest, eyes widening when he realizes how much his heart is beating. “I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like what?” His sister is super annoyed now, feet tapping against the floor tiles.

“This feeling.” Riki’s mouth goes dry, and his first thought is that he needs water. He really really needs water.

His long legs march themselves to the kitchen, flimsy arms clumsily reaching for a cup.

“Seriously, you’re acting weirder than usual.” His sister says from the living room.

“Mind your own business!”

Nishimura Riki was screwed. He was sure of it. Although he swore that he’d never get serious with you, he feels the butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating irregularly. He’s so screwed.

He thought that pushing you away the week before would be a good idea. When you had asked the stupid question of were you and Riki soulmates in another universe, he felt speechless.

He didn’t believe in soulmates, much less another universe.

No. He had replied with. We aren’t even soulmates in this one.

He knew he was an asshole, and it was an asshole move on his part. But he couldn’t help it, there was no way Nishimura Riki would let love tie him down. There was no way. He simply refused.

“I hate her.” Riki grumbles the next morning as he’s eating breakfast with Jaeyun.

“You hate Y/N?” Jaeyun tries to stop himself from laughing — because it’s ridiculous, really. He knew his best friend by heart, if anything, Riki was inlove with you.

“I hate Y/N, I hate the way she laughs, I hate the way I can easily tower over her, I hated her stupid haircut from last month. I hate her.”

Jaeyun thinks it’s pathetic that Riki is trying so hard to convince himself it’s not love he’s feeling, but hate. Clearly the Japanese boy had issues.

“I heard Jo’s gonna ask her out.” Jaeyun’s mouth moves quicker than he can stop it.

“What?”

Before Jaeyun could say anything else, Riki’s already leaving in a panic, his priority was finding you.

“Hey!” He yells as he spots your figure heading into the school. He grabs you by your arms effortlessly, your surprised yelp only adding to the list of what Riki claims he “hates”.

“Is it true?”

“What is?” You say exasperated, arms crossed over your chest. “Why do you always ask me the broadest questions Nishimura?”

“Is Jo gonna ask you out?”

You automatically choke on your spit, not expecting such a ridiculous question. “What?!”

You let out a giggle, which doesn’t help Riki who’s already flushing with red.

“No! What the hell!” You say, looking directly into the boy’s eyes. “He’s my tutor for God sakes! I’ve told you like a billion times.”

“Oh.” Riki bites the inside of his cheek, now aware that Jaeyun had lied straight from his mouth.

“Why?” You get closer to Riki, your head almost bumping into his chest. “It wouldn’t be a problem if he asked me, would it?”

“It would!” Riki clasps his hands over his mouth, already realizing he’s said too much.

You smirk at his unsuccessful attempt to try and conceal his emotions because despite the nonchalant persona Nishimura Riki so desperately tries to keep up, you can see right through it.

“Oh would it?” You tease. “Why?”

“Because..” Riki pauses, biting his lip as he tries to think of what to say. “Because I don’t want you to go out with him.”

“I think Jo and I make a great couple, don’t you?”

Riki rolls his eyes, both hands coming down to grip your shoulders. “No.”

“Why not?”

You keep pushing the boy because you know sooner or later he’ll break. He wasn’t very good at containing his obvious jealously.

“Because you’ll look better with me!”

Ah, there it was. Nishimura Riki has finally broke.

“Hmm,” you say, lips curving into a teasing smile as you watch Riki’s face turn bright red in embarrassment. “Don’t worry Nishimura, it’s you I like, not him.”

Riki doesn’t let you say anything else before he connects his lips with yours. He ignores the blaring alarms in his head telling him that it was stupid to fall inlove, because he had already fallen too deeply with you.

[2996-sana]

a not so spicy confession

summary: when Y/N's secret crush on Sana becomes too much to bear

beneath the old tree in the university courtyard, nayeon nudged you, a smirk playing on her lips. "you've got a serious staring problem," she teased.

you rolled your eyes and shot back, "oh, shut up. no, i don't."

chilling on a bench, jihyo joined in, nodding towards the other side of the courtyard where sana, your long-time crush, was minding her business. "yeah, the only time she has a staring problem is when sana is around," jihyo chuckled.

nayeon, with a sly grin, added her two cents. "you know, y/n, if you weren't such a coward, you wouldn't be just staring at her from afar." she shook her head in mock disappointment.

you scoffed, defending yourself, "i'm not a coward. i just... appreciate the view, okay?"

jihyo shot you a skeptical look. "appreciate the view? come on, it's been, like, forever. just go talk to her."

you shook your head, a resigned smile on your face. "nah, it's never gonna happen. sana won't be interested anyway."

nayeon smirked knowingly, "or maybe she's waiting for you to make a move, but you're just stuck in 'appreciating the view' mode."

you scoffed again, tossing a playful punch at nayeon's arm, "come on, you guys know as well as i do that sana's got a line of admirers longer than the coffee queue in the morning. why would she bother with me?"

jihyo playfully rolled her eyes, a dramatic sigh escaping her lips. "y/n, it pains me to say this, but you're actually pretty cute. it's not too far-fetched for her to be into you."

nayeon, lost in thought for a moment, suddenly perked up with excitement. "oh, that's right! remember that one time in junior year when sana asked me about you? she was like, 'hey, is y/n in class? i wanted to ask her something.' and i was like, 'why don't you ask her yourself?'"

your eyebrows shot up in surprise. "wait, what? junior year? why didn't you tell me about this before?"

nayeon, with a sheepish grin, replied, "it just randomly popped into my head now. but seriously, y/n, you've got to give yourself more credit!"

jihyo jumped back into the conversation, her tone teasing. "see, y/n? sana's not just asking about anyone. you've got her intrigued."

before you could reply, you caught the sound of sana's laugh, echoing from her table with mina and momo. nayeon nudged you, smirking, "well, there's your girl."

your cheeks turned a shade of pink. "yeah, yeah, not a big deal."

sana, mina, and momo had been tight since their move from japan, sticking together like glue throughout university. sana's laugh kept ringing out, and you couldn't help but think back to when sana's laugh had first captivated you. you wondered if, just maybe, you could ever be the reason behind that infectious laughter.

just then, jeongyeon arrived at your table. "hey, are you guys hitting up miyeon's party tomorrow night?" she asked, munching on a boiled egg.

nayeon and jihyo nodded simultaneously. "of course! you bet we'll be there, and don't worry, we're dragging y/n along too," nayeon declared with a mischievous grin.

you rolled your eyes. "yeah, yeah. i was planning to go anyway. got a ton of free time this week."

jeongyeon sighed, chewing on her boiled egg. "ugh, i wish i had free time. my super-intense calculus prof is trying to kill us with assignments."

fast forward to the day of the party, nayeon swung by your apartment, exclaiming, "ready to see your girlfriend tonight?"

you rolled your eyes as you entered the car, "sana’s not my girlfriend.”

jeongyeon giggled, "who said we were talking about sana?"

nayeon couldn't resist teasing, "you keep denying it, but the heart wants what it wants, y/n. maybe tonight's the night sana will realize you’re her soulmate."

you chuckled, "sana and i barely know each other."

jihyo joined in, "yeah, but strangers can become friends, and friends can become more than that, you know? especially at a party with the right mood and a touch of magic in the air."

nayeon added, "you know, we're all graduating soon. you might regret not making a move."

jeongyeon and jihyo chimed in agreement, teasing you more about missed opportunities and what-ifs. you, lost in thought, couldn't help but consider the possibilities.

as you arrived at the party, dahyun greeted you at the door with infectious energy, exclaiming, "what's up, what's up, party peopleeee! prepare yourselves for a night of epic proportions!"

you guys couldn't help but laugh at dahyun's lively entrance, and as you made your way inside, she continued her entertaining banter and turned to you, “unnie, grab your dancing shoes because tonight we're going to break it down on the dance floor! and if you see miyeon, give her a high-five for throwing the party of the century!"

you amused by dahyun’s obvious drunkenness turned to your junior and patted her on the head, "well, if the night's as epic as your intro, dahyun, we're in for a wild ride.”

as the night marched on, you could feel the drinks weaving a tipsy tapestry around you. laughter bubbled through the air, but amidst the cheerful chaos, your eyes kept searching for a familiar face in the lively crowd – sana.

then, you spotted her: sana, sporting the cutest brown shirt that hugged all the right places, and those glasses, a rare accessory that added an extra layer of charm. you couldn't help but marvel at how sana seemed to be the standout beauty of the night.

nayeon, with her knack for reading between the lines, couldn't resist a playful jab. "well, well, what's got you all starry-eyed? is it the snacks or someone special catching your gaze?"

jihyo and jeongyeon, sensing an opportunity for some good-natured teasing, joined in. "if you don't act fast, dex might swoop in and steal the spotlight. you wouldn't want to miss your chance forever," jeongyeon teased, the mention of dex causing a subtle shift in your mood.

suddenly, amidst the laughter and teasing, you found yourself feeling a bit low. another shot seemed like a good idea, a temporary escape from the self-doubt and lingering 'what-ifs.'

despite the lively atmosphere, you couldn't shake off a twinge of sadness. the wish to gather the courage and strike up a conversation with sana weighed heavily on you.

nayeon, always the instigator, added more fuel to the playful fire. "come on, y/n! if you don't make a move, dex is going to steal the show, and you'll be left with a bag of 'what-ifs' to ponder over in your graduation cap!"

jihyo chimed in, "you'll regret it if you don't try. plus, it's a party! everyone's a bit buzzed; it's the perfect time!"

jeongyeon, with a conspiratorial grin, added, "you've got nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain.”

despite the encouraging words, your mind swirled with uncertainty. the mention of dex stirred a pang of jealousy you hadn't anticipated, prompting you to reach for another shot, hoping it would wash away the brewing storm inside. dex, the self-proclaimed admirer of sana. he made it known to everyone that sana was his ideal girl, and you couldn't help but scoff at the thought. after all, sana was your dream girl too, so dex wasn't exactly special. yet, you had witnessed how sana gave dex the time of day, even flirting with him a bit.

the night continued, and as you downed more shots, the liquid courage only seemed to fuel the internal struggle. the pulsating music, contagious laughter, and shared moments faded into the background as you grappled with the weight of indecision and the fear of missing out.

an hour later, you found yourself feeling pretty drunk, so you decided it was time to take a breather. you excused yourself, stumbling a bit, and made your way to the kitchen, hoping that some water and maybe a snack could work their magic. as you stepped into the kitchen, though, you couldn't believe your eyes—there was dex, boldly talking up sana. this sight, for some reason, ignited a spark of annoyance within you.

summoning every ounce of sober energy you had left, you marched up to dex and sana. you cleared your throat dramatically and declared, "you guys wouldn’t make a cute couple, you know."

sana burst into laughter, a warm sound that filled the room. "y/n? you okay?" she asked, a playful glint in her eye. on the other hand, dex looked puzzled and muttered, "i think she's drunk."

you, determined to prove your sobriety, straightened up and insisted, "i'm not drunk. and even if i were, trust me, any clear-headed person could see you two wouldn't be cute together."

dex, still trying to process your bold statement, stammered, "uh, why not?"

you fired back, "well, dex, you're like a plain sandwich, and sana deserves a five-star meal. no offense, of course."

sana, thoroughly amused at the unfolding scene, exchanged an amused glance with dex, who seemed utterly perplexed by your sudden proclamation. "you're a riot, y/n," sana teased, suppressing a laugh.

dex, still looking baffled, just shrugged, and sana, with a playful smile, said, "excuse us for a moment, dex. i think y/n needs a bit of fresh air."

as sana led you out of the kitchen, you couldn't help but mutter, "i am sober, you know."

sana chuckled, "sure, y/n, of course, you are."

while climbing the stairs, sana continued to giggle, and with a teasing smile, she added, "you're the soberest person i've ever seen."

you reached what you assumed was miyeon's room but you couldn’t really process anything right now, and sana gently guided you to the bed. sana gently asked, "do you know where nayeon, jihyo, or jeongyeon is?”

sana, grabbing her phone, seemed to be in the process of contacting one of them to come to your rescue.

in the midst of this, you couldn't shake the feeling of regret creeping in. you blurted out, "are you upset with me? i mean, i interrupted you, right?"

sana, still calm and collected, assured you, "no, not upset. just want to make sure you're okay."

you knew you were gonna regret all of this tomorrow but, fueled by the liquid courage coursing through her, you decided you didn't care about the impending consequences. your world could crumble tomorrow; tonight was for saying whatever you wanted.

in the haze of inebriation, you couldn't help but make a lighthearted comment, "i have a talent for messing things up spectacularly, huh."

sana giggled, "well, you did add a bit of drama to the party, that's for sure."

sana sighed, her attempts to reach nayeon, jihyo, or jeongyeon proving unsuccessful. she turned to you, a concerned look on her face, and asked, "will you be okay staying here for a while? i can't seem to contact any of them."

you, still feeling a bit woozy, nodded and managed a small smile, "yeah, sure. it's fine."

"great," sana replied, a playful glint in her eye. "so, am i staying with you?" she asked, a teasing smile playing on her lips.

you couldn't help but blush at sana's words. "uh, yeah, sure. you can stay," you stammered.

sana giggled at your adorable reaction, then her expression turned thoughtful. "hey, remember that five-star meal comment from earlier? what was that about?"

you groaned in embarrassment, burying your face in your hands. "can we please forget about it?”

sana, however, was not one to let things go easily. she nudged you, still grinning, and asked, "is there someone you think is a five-star meal?"

you, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks, mumbled, "no one, really. it was just a silly thing i said."

but sana persisted, a mischievous glint in her eye, "come on, spill the beans. i want to know who's a five-star meal in your book."

you, still blushing, let out an exasperated laugh. "okay, fine, if i have to pick someone, it's you, okay? happy now?"

sana's eyes sparkled with delight, and she responded with a charming grin, "well, thank you for the compliment. you're not so bad yourself, you know."

sana seeing you blushing pushed even more, “so, y/n, if you were to pick someone who's worthy of me, who would it be?"

you groaned, realizing sana's playful challenge. "i don't know, maybe someone who matches your vibe?"

sana's smile widened, and she playfully poked your nose. "that's a good answer, but you're not getting away that easily. come on, anyone in particular?"

still oblivious to sana's underlying intentions, you thought for a moment and then shrugged. "i don't know, sana. you're pretty amazing. i can't think of anyone else."

sana shifted her gaze, looking at you as if she were analyzing and trying to read you. after a moment, she spoke with a knowing tone, "you like me, don't you?"

you were taken aback, your eyes widening. “what do you mean?"

sana only laughed, a musical sound that danced through the air. "i can tell, y/n. mina and momo notice it a lot too when you're staring. i think it's cute."

now thoroughly embarrassed, you stammered, "i-i don't know what you're talking about. i mean, why would i—"

sana interrupted, her laughter contagious, "relax, y/n. besides, it's not like it's a big secret."

trying to regain your composure, you managed a nervous laugh. "i didn't think it was that obvious."

sana, still wearing that mischievous grin, pushed further, "so, when you mentioned the five-star meal earlier, were you referring to yourself?"

your face turned an even deeper shade of red. "what? no!"

sana interrupted playfully, "come on, y/n, don't be shy. besides, if you think you're a five-star meal, who am i to argue?"

sana's expression softened, and she looked at you with a warmth that sent shivers down your spine. "you know, y/n, in case you were wondering, i don't mind at all."

still trying to process everything, you mumbled, "i... uh, i didn't think you'd notice."

sana winked, "i notice a lot more than you think. and i gotta say, it’s flattering. makes me feel special."

you couldn't help but smile, the tension easing. "well, i guess i can't hide anything from you."

sana leaned back, a thoughtful expression on her face. "you really shouldn't try to hide these things, y/n. life's too short for secrets."

you nodded, "yeah, you're right."

sana, with a glint of mischief in her eyes, issued a challenge. "y/n, can you say it?"

you were appalled. "say what?"

sana grinned, "that you like me. out loud."

you protested, "why do i have to say it? it's practically implied. i'm sure you know!"

sana, undeterred, playfully challenged her, "come on, y/n. it's different when you say it. try it."

you sighed, feeling cornered. "fine. i like you, okay?"

sana's eyes sparkled with amusement, and she teased, "such a charmer, y/n."

you rolled your eyes. sana, still wearing that playful grin, leaned even closer, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek. she smiled sweetly and said, "i have another challenge for you, y/n.”

"another challenge? what is it?"

sana's eyes gleamed with anticipation. "take me out on a date."

you couldn't help but blush, the realization sinking in. "are you saying... i have a chance?"

sana nodded, her gaze unwavering. "more than a chance, y/n.”

you felt a mix of excitement and disbelief, and managed a shy smile. "i never expected this."

sana leaned even closer, "i guess life is full of surprises, especially the ones that make your heart race a bit faster."

that’s when you realized that taking a chance on love – no matter how unconventional – can lead to the most extraordinary adventures (and to having the prettiest girlfriend in the room).

so, to anyone out there with a crush, just confess. you never know – you might end up with a girl like sana who thinks you're the missing piece to their puzzle. and if they reject you, just pretend it was a dare or blame it on a sudden urge for honesty. works like a charm.

[avastrasposts]

When's the last time you lived?

A short little one-shot (2.6k) with sweet Marcus PIke for @pedgito @chaotic-mystery and @amanitacowboy and their Summer Loving writing challenge! Thank you for putting this all together!

I was given a quote, a location and Marcus Pike to write for, plus this lovely mood board as inspiration. No warnings needed, this is all fluff!

You really couldn’t say you were enjoying yourself. Leaning against a wall at the back of the stuffy gallery, you sipped the sour red wine and let your bored eyes drift across the crowd. All of your friend’s new boyfriend’s acquaintances, mingling with dry canapes and faces molded into interesting looks as they competed with each other for the wittiest line about the artwork lining the walls. 

Little did you, or anyone else, know how interesting the evening would turn out in the end. All you knew was that the dark haired guy who kept circling the room, making polite small talk and eyeing the art, was as cute as he was sexy. He was the only thing keeping you from making a bad excuse and dipping out. He kept glancing over at you, catching your eye, and you’d exchanged quick smiles. 

When the front door suddenly swung open and four armed police officers marched in, the party froze. With widening eyes you watched as the cute dark haired guy stepped up to the gallery owner, right in the middle of schmoozing a client, and flashed an FBI badge. Within a few minutes the party was broken up, the owner in cuffs being led away and a team of FBI agents swarmed in and started packing up the artwork. You found yourself ushered out onto the street with the rest of the guests, but as you turned to leave, one of the agents held out his hand. 

“Miss, you’ve been asked to stay just a few minutes, Agent Pike has some questions for you.” 

“F-for me? I don’t know anything?” you stammered, following the agent to the side as the other guests hurried away, throwing questioning glances back at you.  

“Thank you, York, I’ve got it from here,” a second male voice said, putting his hand on his colleague's shoulder. The cute dark haired man smiled down at you as the other agent walked away with a brisk nod. 

“I don’t know anything about all this, I was just here with a friend, her boyfriend-” 

“No, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to think you’re a suspect,” he said, shaking his head with an apologetic look, “I just wanted a chance to come over and say hello before you left. I couldn’t interrupt the raid.” He gave you another warm smile and held out his hand, “Hello, I’m Marcus.” 

You huffed a small laugh of relief as you took his hand and gave him your name, “I’m glad, getting arrested by the FBI is not on my bucket list.” 

That’s how you’d met Marcus Pike, FBI agent, foodie, art nerd and all around great guy. Not to mention an incredible lover and pretty damn near perfect at dating. He did move kind of fast, eager to please and to make sure you always knew what he felt about you. It was endearing but unusual, but once he opened up about a particularly bad relationship in his past you understood him more. He needed reassurance that you were both on the same page, and when you told him you needed to move a bit slower, he understood and backed off a little bit. You dated, had fun, and kept it at that for now. No need to rush. 

This evening he’d invited you to the opening of a new exhibition at the National Gallery of Art. He’d been out of town a few days for work, and you’d felt a little jolt of excitement when you’d spotted him in the crowded foyer. He was scanning the crowd for you but hadn’t seen you yet, so while you crossed the room you took in his tall, broad form. The gray, soft looking, sweater stretched across his shoulders as he pushed a stray strand of his hair off his forehead and scratched absentmindedly at his scruffy beard. The beard was a recent addition, he’d been clean shaven when you met, but he’d let it grow out for a job. He’d complained that his beard never filled in, but you loved the look on him, and how it felt when he kissed you. So he’d kept it, making sure to tickle you with it when he trailed kisses over your neck, laughing when you squealed and squirmed under him. 

As you got closer he saw you approach, and he moved through the crowd with a warm smile. His hand cupped your cheek as you met, and he bent his head to press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. 

“Hey,” he murmured against your mouth, “I missed you, honey.” 

“Missed you too, Marcus,” you smiled against his lips as you felt his other arm curl around your waist, pulling you into his chest, “How was your trip?” 

“Boring but successful, we got hold of the evidence we needed,” he said, still close to your mouth, letting you trail your fingers across his cheek while he smiled, holding your gaze until you had to kiss him again. 

“I should’ve planned a date at my place instead of in public,” he chuckled, pulling away slightly as you became aware of the crowd milling around you. His hand slipped from your waist and took your hand instead as he gave your cheek a final caress.

“Should we go see what the fuss is about?” he asked, holding up two tickets for the exhibition and you nodded. 

“Let’s see if it was worth giving up the couch for.” 

You ambled together through the exhibition, and it was definitely worth it, as Marcus no doubt had known it would be. He’d visited the van Gogh museum in Amsterdam a few years earlier and hadn’t wanted to miss this exhibition, the biggest one of his works in the US. You weren’t familiar with van Gogh apart from the sunflowers. But as Marcus walked you through the exhibition, reading the signs and asking what you thought about different aspects of the paintings you hadn’t even considered, you began to see that there was a lot more to van Gogh than cheap posters of sunflowers and a man who’d cut his ear off. 

You stopped in front of one of the last works of the exhibition and felt yourself be sucked into the image. The small sign said it was called ‘Wheat field under Thunderclouds’ and the petroleum blue clouds gathering on the horizon, threatening to envelope the sunlit wheat fields captured your imagination. Marcus stopped just behind you, his warm palm on the small of your back, as you took in the atmosphere in the painting. It felt melancholy, the end of summer, the end of warm days, a looming disaster in the distance, rolling in to destroy the wheat fields just as they were ripening. 

“What are you thinking?” Marcus asked in a low voice, he seemed to sense that the painting had stirred something in you. 

“The painting makes me sad, it looks like the end of a warm day, the storm clouds are so ominous,” you said, pointing to how they had rolled up right to the edge of the frame. 

“He painted it just a week before his death, along with several other pieces on the same subject,” Marcus said, “It maybe be a bit on the nose, but I always thought of the clouds as his own looming troubles, maybe he was feeling happy when he painted them, but he knew darkness would roll over him again.” 

“Knowing that makes the painting even sadder,” you said, looking at the dark clouds again, “But I really love the painting anyway. That one and the one he did for his nephew,” you pointed over towards a bright painting of flowering almond branches against a blue sky. 

“That’s one of my favorites too,” Marcus said, “and The Starry Night.” 

He took your hand as you walked slowly towards the exit, “I have a surprise,” he smiled, “I’ve arranged something special for us. Wait for me in the gift shop and I’ll go make sure everything is set up, give me five minutes.” 

“Come here first,” you said, not letting go of his hand as he tried to walk away. He turned back with a grin and came willingly as you pulled him down for a kiss. 

“You’re the best boyfriend, you know that right?” you told him and he chuckled, ducking his head for another kiss. 

“I try my best,” he replied with a wink. 

He gave you a quick smile as he left the gift shop, leaving you to browse a ridiculous assortment of pens, mugs, water bottles, umbrellas, trays, key chains, t-shirt and phone covers adorned with artwork. A book on van Gogh’s work caught your attention and you were flipping through it when Marcus came back. 

“All ready for your surprise, if you’ll accompany me,” he said, holding out his arm for you with a big smile, and you put your hand on his soft sweater and let him guide you out of the shop. He led you away from the crowds, further into the museum, where the lights were dim. 

“I found this little nook, hidden away,” he said, taking another turn, leading you into a gallery filled with marble statues, “And I thought it might be a nice place away from the crowds.” 

“And we can be back here?” you asked, looking at the very empty rooms you were passing through. The rest of the museum was closed for the night, it was only the van Gogh exhibition that had been available to celebrate its opening night. 

“Yeah, sure, I’m FBI,” he grinned, “I’ve got my badge with me just in case.” 

“Marcus,” you say, almost stopping dead in your tracks, “are you sure this is ok?” 

“It’s fine, honey,” he smiled, “When was the last time you lived, huh? Let’s bend the rules a little,” Marcus winked again and tugged you with him, and you felt a reckless giggle bubble up as he led you further into the statues gallery. 

“I’m pleading innocence if we get caught,” you laughed and Marcus smiled, turning a final corner. 

“Here, my lady, dinner is served.” 

“Oh, Marcus!” you gasped at the scene he’d set up. Right at the end of the room, surrounded by elegant Roman statues, was one of the museum’s benches. But now it was covered by a white tablecloth and on it was laid out a picnic, if you could even call it that. The bench was laid with plates and cutlery, two wine glasses and a bottle, together with candlesticks and a single red rose in a vase. Several take out boxes sat between the plates and you could smell something delicious. 

“How did you even do all this?” you asked as he led you to the “table” and made you sit down. 

“Easy,” Marcus grinned, “I brought it from home and put the bag in one of the lockers, then I ordered the food while we were in the exhibition and it arrived right on time.” 

“I’m so impressed,” you said, holding up your glass to let him fill it with wine, “you’ve outdone yourself.” 

“I hope not,” he laughed, “I need to come up with something really great for when I p-” He bit his lip and stopped short as his cheeks turned scarlet, “Sorry, forget I said anything.” 

“The dreaded p-word,” you said, smiling to make him less uncomfortable, “It’s not as scary now as it was six months ago. You’re making the prospect of it less intimidating.” 

Marcus’s face softened into a look of relief, smiling as he took your hand, “And you’re making it easier to just enjoy our relationship right now, thank you for showing me how to slow down.” 

The kiss he pressed to your lips lingered, the food forgotten for the moment, until leaning over the bench became too uncomfortable and you pulled a part. Marcus looked down at the take out boxes and picked one up. 

“Let’s eat before it gets cold, it’s from my favorite Greek places, I hope you like it.” 

“You haven’t given me bad food once, Marcus,” you said, accepting a helping a some spinach dish, “I just wish I could repay you, but since you don’t share my fondness for microwave meals, you’ll just have to keep picking restaurants.” 

“Actually, I was thinking,” Marcus said as he served himself and you sniffed one of the side dishes with feta cheese, “I wanna get better at cooking, maybe we could do one of those cooking classes together? And then we could cook together sometimes, what do you think?” 

“That’s a nice idea, I could do with some cooking classes,” you replied, “Did I tell you I actually set fire to the curtains in my first apartment? I put the toaster too close to them on the window sill and then I burnt the toast and the whole thing went up in flames.” 

Marcus looked at you with wide eyes, “Seriously? Were you ok? Did you get burnt?” 

“No, I was fine, my roommate knew where we had the fire extinguisher so she put it out and then the fire department showed up and made sure it hadn’t spread,” you chuckled at the memory and Marcus shook his head. 

“Lucky, and maybe I should handle the toast the next time we’re at my place.”   

“Marcus, you don’t even own a toaster,” you laughed, “between the two of us, we own one coffee machine and two microwaves.” 

“And a popcorn machine, don’t forget the popcorn machine,” Marcus replied, his warm brown eyes smiling at you as he reached out and swiped a crumb from your bottom lip with a soft touch. 

“It does make excellent popcorn,” you mused, watching him turn his attention back to the eggplant dish on his plate. 

Marcus was a foodie, you’d found out on your very first date when he’d planned a three restaurant “pub crawl” that ended up being four when you told him about your favorite gelateria. You’d agreed to share the ice cream since you’d had dessert at the third restaurant. That plan fell through the second Marcus tasted their cherry gelato, you’d both spent the better part of half an hour tasting all the flavors until he’d settled on cherry and hazelnut chocolate and you’d gone for stracciatella and lemon. Strolling through the warm evening, you’d eaten your gelato while Marcus asked if you’d like to go on a second date with him to a food truck festival and from then on, food had been the theme. 

When all the food had been eaten and the evidence of your secret picnic had disappeared into Marcus’s bag, he took your hand and brought you to the middle of the room. The lights were dim, the statues surrounding you cast in shadows, and it could’ve been creepy, if it wasn’t for Marcus’s presence. He put his phone down on one of the benches and low music filled the room, a slow instrumental piece, and held out his hand in an unmistakable gesture of inviting you to dance. With a smile you took his hand and stepped into his arms as he began to move you both in a slow twirl. You put your head against his shoulder as he led you in time with the music, his warm scent and steady heartbeat lulling you into a comfortable silence. His hand gently caressed your back, holding you close to him and you could feel his breath ghost over your cheek as he bent his head and pressed a soft kiss to your skin. 

“I love you,” he whispered, his voice low in the dark room. A simple statement, no grand gesture, no fanfare or lengthy speech, just an uncomplicated affirmation that filled your heart. 

“I love you too.” 

[mindless-existence1]

Request- "Toji fushiguro and an older male reader in an Aladdin au with gags and bondage please? In the fic, Toji is a street rat who always manages to evade the palace guards. The reason is that the guard captain, the reader, has a deal where Toji has to be his bondage slave every night if he wants to escape his men."

REQUESTS OPEN PLS SEND!

MasterList Link

Authors note: Reader is older than Toji but not in a weird creepy old man way and is described to be male. Reader is a slightly hard dom that uses toys, as you read from the request is pretty kinky so read at your own discretion. Also sorry is this is out of character for him but in my mind he's a brat that needs tamed.

Warnings: Includes bondage, gags, multiple orgasams, overstimulation, degration, dry orgasams, crying during sex, and a slight call to being a sex slave but it's not very prominent.

Toji could feel the air rushing past his ears and the pounding of his heart hitting his rib cage. None of that mattered to him as he ran as fast as he could make his feet go down through market. Normally he didn't have to work this hard to get away from the guards so that must mean you were in a pissier mood them normal.

As he turned a corner he heard you bark out orders for your men to follow. Tojo could only make out a few of the words, they were muffled from the blood rushing to his ears. Before he could even catch his breath your huge build came around the corner and you were met face to face with the thief.

"Well hello dear captain what brings you out this way?" Toji panted after almost every word but still had a undertone of confidence. Though he found the confidence wavering when your stern gaze didn't falter. "Don't you just like pissing me off?"

Toji put on a weak grin he knew you could see through. "We wouldn't have any fun if I didnt." He teases. You take a step forward, your face mere inches from Toji's. "Do you know how often I put my ass on the line for you? And you still want to be a brat?"

You take another step forward causing Toji to back into a wall. "Tonight come dressed in that pretty jewel you stole. I want to see you get ruined while wearing your best." While speaking you bring your hand up and grab his hair, it was rougher than you'd normally be out in the open but neither of you cared.

Toji felt so small underneath your frame, he wasn't small by any means but he still somehow felt so little when your gaze was on him. He weakly nodded his head as best he could and let out a quiet "Yes sir."

Without another word you release your hold on his hair and walk out of the alley. Toji hears you yell out to your guards about how you lost him and you should all head back to your posts.

With a deep breath Toji looks down at the necklace he took from some merchant, he threw it in the air and caught it on the way down. His original plan was to sell it but it has an even better purpose now.

~~~~~~~~~Time skip to later that day~~~~~~~~~

Toji was wearing his normal ragged clothes, he never worries about what he is wearing anymore when you rip off his clothes seconds after he walks through the door. But tonight he had on something special, the bright purple gem accessorized with a gold trim was hanging around his neck. It truly was a pricy steal on his part, but the risk was worth it knowing what was in store for tonight.

He knocked on the front door and after just one knock it was swung open and he was rushed inside. "What did I say about using the front door brat?" You asked with a harsh tone. Toji grinned "Maybe you'll have to punish me?" His voice was silky smooth and practically dripped from his lips.

"You'll regret saying that by the end of the night. Now go to the room and take off everything except for that pretty necklace. You better be on the bed when i get in there" Your voice was stern and sent a shock of arousel straight to Tojis groin.

He nodded and made a move to walk past you but before he could he felt you pull at the back of the necklace. With a small choke he stopped walking, he turned around confused. "Use your words slut." Toji gulped and stammered out a weak "Yes sir" before turning back around to go to the room.

By the time he made it to the bedroom his dick was practically leaking precum. He took off his shirt first and whined when he pulled off his pants and underwear. Your heavy footsteps coming down the hall filled his ears so he scampered to get on the bed.

When you opened the door you were presented with Tojis body on full display. Even though compared to you he was small he was very built himself. All the running and working out he does is doing amazing work on his body you guys barley fit on the bed .

You don't make a move to walk over to him, instead you make your way over to a well know cabinet. After a minute of rummaging around you pull out a handful of cloths from deep within the drawer. Toji swallow a lump in his throat as he feels his cock ache for any form of stimulation, he has to resist touching himself. Knowing he's already in trouble tonight so better not add onto that.

His muscles tense when you stalk your way over to the bed. You lay down the smaller cloths on the edge and keep two longer red ones in your hand. "You know what to do you whore, don't pretend you dont." You bite out, lust infesting your words. "Yes sir." A shiver is sent down his back as he lifts his arms above his head so his wrists are up against the headrest.

His legs spread wider till its almost painful. Toji felt so vulnerable and exposed, but he knew covering himself would just worsen any punishment you had in mind. "Good slut." You said under your breath and moved to tie his wrists and legs. Toji had to bite back a whine at your words.

The bondage was tighter than normal and Toji could tell he would have bruises in the morning. He couldn't bring himself to be ashamed at the fact the thought of being bruised by you excited him.

You took your right hand and grabbed the smaller cloths you had set down earlier. After folding them up you brought them to Toji's mouth. "Open." Is all you said and when he followed your instruction you shoved the gags into his mouth.

He gaged and let out a "mmph!" When the cloth hit the back of his throat. Before he do anything else another cloth was wrapped around his face, covering his mouth from veiw. You quickly tied it off behind his head and grabbed the final gag.

You tied off the end leaving him panting as best he could behind the three layer of gags, it took him a minute to get used to breathing through his nose. "Since you've been bad today you have to come twice before I fuck you. Understand?" You practically growled into his ear, your hot breath made him can't up his hips.

A muffled whine of protest came from behind the gags but anything he tried to say was too incoherent to be understood. Two times? Were you going insane? Twice before you even really started? Oh Toji knew he was going to be dead by the end of the night.

He subconsciously pulled at the restraints causing you to smirk to yourself. "You wanted this right?" You ask teasingly as you bring your large hand toward his aching cock. "You were acting so naughty earlier, you must have wanted to be treated like the slut you are."

Your deep voice paired with the warm hand around his dick was making Toji slowly lose his mind. "Should I even bother sucking you off? I mean I don't think you deserve it. You hardly even deserve my hand street rat." You bite out the words, emphasizing the last two.

Toji chokes on a moan yhat catches in his throat at your words. Everything is so dry but so so good, the only thing wetting his dick was his precum. "I would have you spit on my hand for me but looks like your mouth is too preoccupied." You tease him and her him let out a whimper into the cloth. "You have to come like this first, then you can get my mouth after that."

Toji bends forward towards his core as best he can, it's too much but way to little. He can't come like this! But your hand won't let up its rough pace on his dick and all he can do is take it.

When he starts to feel his orgasam build up it burns. "Phhheess" is all the you hear when he speaks into the gag. It's desperate and begging. "What was that? Couldn't understand you." You mock him, twisting your hand on his tip the way that makes him go crazy. He moans loudly into the gag and arches his back at the feeling.

"You want to come? Is that it?" You ask teasingly, knowing what he wanted. He nodded his head wildly. "You can come but know I won't stop." He nodded again, not truly processing the words. He came with a broken moan into the gag, the come ran down your hand that slowed its pace on his leaking dick.

In his post orgasmic state he didn't realize you were bending down to be face to face with his cock. You licked from the base to he red tip, effectively jolting him out of his lucid state. "Nnnn tpphh mchhh" He cried out as you started to take him into your mouth, your tounge caressing each vein. After a second of playing with him you lifted your head, your hand jerking him while you spoke.

"Too much? Thought you wanted this?" You asked, voice gruff. Toji weakly nodded his head and bit back the tears threating to leak from his eyes. It was all in vane when you took him back into your mouth, it was too warm and too tight. He let out a sob into the gags.

You brought your head up and sucked on his sensitive tip, that's all it took for him to come in your mouth. The gags could hardly muffle the moans that ripped from his chest. He looked down and watched as it leaked from the corners of your mouth, it was making him a mess but he couldn't care less.

The necklace, now sticking to his sweaty chest, was glistening. Toji saw it out of the corner of his eye, he hoped you thought he looked good like this.

His whole body untensed when he felt you take your mouth off his spent dick. He was having trouble breathing through the gags but he was panting heavily. "Did you prep yourself before coming here?" You asked while getting off the bed to take off your clothes.

Toji nodded and shifted his hips, his slightly falcid cock lay between his thighs. He watched you take off your shirt and pants, he could see the tent in your underwear. He felt a small ping of pride at the idea that he caused that.

"Guess you are good for something then." Your voice gruff as you got back on the bed after pulling off your underwear. No matter how many times Toji saw you naked he always was mesmerized. Working as the Captain of the guards really made you bulked up.

Toji watched as you grabbed lube (idk if they had lube back in Aladin's time but we are going to say they did) and rubbed it over your thick cock. He saw you slowly pump your growing erection as your other hand slipped under his ass.

He whined into the gag when he felt you slip in two fingers. He tried bending his legs but the binds kept him fully exposed to you. He added two more fingers after a minute of fingering. His dick was now fully hard again, almost against his will. He felt far too sensitive but at the same time he needed you to fuck him or he might lose his mind.

He tried begging for more but all the came out was a muffled mess that made you laugh. "So desperate." You chuckled onto his ear. With a final pump of your hand you lined yourself up with Toji's stretched hole. With a swift rough thrust you pushed yourself fully inside. The moan ripped from Toji's throat was loud even from under the gags.

The tears that stopped falling a minute ago came back and were streaming down his face at your fast pace. He didn't get a time to breath before you were thrusting deep into him, hitting his prostate every time. He choked on his moans when your hand started pumping his cock at a pace that matched your hips. The necklace was bouncing up and down on his chest from your rough pace.

As he neared his orgasam, and knew you were nearing yours, he felt all the stimulation become too much. The orgasam building inside him felt different. He felt too spent, with a high pitched whine he realized he'd be shooting blanks. The thought of coming dry almost scared him, but excitement overpowered that fear.

He was begging you to slow down or something but all that you heard you muffled moaning. Tears streamed down his face, wetting the cloth gag not far under his eyes. His hips thrust upward into your hand, his actions defieing what he was begging you for. Your hand was so warm and so tight it was too much bit it felt too good to stop.

His orgasam was ripped out of him and it burned when nothing came out. Not a drop of come leaked out of his abused tip. He felt you empty inside him and slow down your pace till you came to a full stop. He sobbed into the gag at the feeling of liquid fire course through his veins at the feeling of overstimulation die down.

He muscle in his body went limp, his arms hanging limplyfrom the ropes. His body felt sore all over, so spent. He felt you pull out and start to untie the binds on his legs. As you did so Toji looked down at the necklace, he was really looking forward to tomorrow. Maybe he should steal something even more pricy and see what you do to him then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[yellow-berrys]

honey | sirius black x reader

summary: you and sirius black are pining over each other. the story of it.

navigation | masterlist 

SPINNING IN THE SWIRLS OF PEONY DRESSES AND SILK GOWNS, you revel as you dance. Not perfectly, but joyfully. The way you twirl is a little messy, whilst the punch hasn’t been spiked you still feel endlessly happy. You’re tossed from one person to another in a fast-paced rhythm, from the pretty Queen of Hufflepuff to a boy you’ve never seen before to James Potter to Lucius Malfoy. 

“Hi, Y/n!” Lily cries over the music, “Having fun?”

You grin, dizzying yourself under her arm. “Lots! How are you?”

“I’m amazing! This is wonderful!”

You don’t have time to reply before she’s swung away into a stranger’s arms and you look up with curiosity to see grey eyes grinning furiously at you. 

You return the smile, “Hey Sirius!”

He’s beautiful in this glossy gold lighting, light curving out his high cheekbones, lips curved a little in greeting. His eyes are a shade of warm grey in this room compared to their usual metal. But you can’t give yourself away, so you’ll look anywhere but his face, scolding yourself for being so obvious. After all, there’s a reason he didn’t ask you to the dance. 

“Hey,” he says, maybe a little out of breath. “Hey,” he repeats. 

You shake your head, feet tapping at the floor, “You OK?” 

“I’m fine!” He says loudly over the song, “Better than ever really,” is hidden by the loud beat of the music.

You feel satisfied in your dreamy dress with a lovely smile growing at your lips. You miss what he says next whilst wishing this would be forever.

“Pardon?” You ask.

“Huh?”

“You said something’s beautiful. My dress is rather nice, isn’t it?” 

“Gorgeous,” he flatters you and you chuckle. 

“Just pulling your leg. No need to sweet-talk me,” you smile up at him as you're transferred into the arms of a Ravenclaw. 

And he’s left blushing away, the girl who has replaced you thinking she’s the one who makes him flustered. You think she probably has, and wink at her. You turn to your partner.

“No date, L/n?” he sneers and you raise your eyebrows mid dance. 

“I don’t think that’s your business, Corey.”

“You look very pathetic,” he grins maliciously, “Dressing up just for no one to admire.”

“What about you, Corey? Who’s your date?”

“Heron Bridger.”

“You mean the same Heron who’s currently...snogging Severus? Gee, she’d really rather be with Snape than you!”

“Just you wait, I will...”

But he’s yanked by a stranger to their dance, and you meet eyes with Jane Pickett.

“Honestly,” she says, “I can’t even imagine dressing up.”

You’re silent. 

“I would come in converse and leggings if I could,” she drawls out, “I would still get asked out, unlike you,” she sneered. 

Your good mood was starting to fade. A girl from the girls, who were usually so supportive and comforting, was criticising you. It must’ve meant you actually had problems.

“That dress doesn’t even sit right on you.” 

And as the song ends just like the last strands of hope that maybe someone will call you gorgeous, you slip out of the Great Hall so subtly, your footsteps adjacent with the ringing of the 10 o’clock bells for bedtime.

Back in your dorm room, it’s quiet and empty. You climb into the shower and wash your hair and chuck your dress into the laundry, watching it spin. You pull on comfortable pyjamas and sigh, looking into the mirror. 

“I shouldn’t be overreacting,” you hiss to no one in particular, “Am I really that insecure?”

You settle down next to the fire crackling. The heat feels unbearable. 

“Heavens. I am pathetic.”

Suddenly; a voice. “Wonderful self affirmation practices you’ve got going on there, sweetheart. Can I come in?”

You let out a muffled noise of affirmation. Sirius saunters in. 

You don’t know whether his air of cologne and confidence will be any good for your poor heart, but when he grins at you with words of “Want a hug?” you want to sob all over again. 

You crawl into his lap, and he pulls his arms over you. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear as you cry. Things that make you laugh, too, because he knows how to cheer you up. 

“And Lily was about to take off her massive earrings to throw hands at Corey.”

“Really?”

“No. Those huge things cost money.”

You let out a wet giggle. 

“What did he say to you?”

“Just a load about how I had no one to admire me and so I was pathetic. And that no one wanted to ask me out.”

“That’s not true.”

You raised your eyebrows, “It is, Sirius, but it hurt.”

“It’s not true,” he affirms, “I can think of at least one guy who wanted to ask you out.”

“Well, they didn’t, that’s what matters,” you frown, “It’s okay, Sirius, I’m fine. I don’t need a man to admire me.”

“I know you don’t need a man, sweet thing, men need you.”

You snort. “Please, men evade me like bees to...not honey.”

He laughs and he sounds beautiful when he does it. It makes you hate yourself even more. Nothing you could ever do would be as pretty as him. As you look up to him and smile back, he looks a little out of his depth.

You didn’t know what comes over you, but you regret saying, “You’re beautiful, you know?”

“Oh?” his eyes widen and his cheeks tinge pink, “No one’s ever really told me that before.”

“Mm?”

“Yeah. They always say I’m hot or cute or handsome, but never beautiful.” 

“Well you deserve to be called beautiful.”

“Tell me more about it?”

You inch closer to him, reaching a hand out to brush his raven hair out of his eyes. 

“I like your hair. I like the way that your eyes go from grey to blue in sunlight and how they are so warm now.”

“Oh?” Sirius smirks at you now.

“Yeah, and I like how your nose slants so delicately. And your eyelashes are so long,” you run a finger over them and he closes his eyes.

“It sounds like you must like me a lot.” You ignore him.

“I like how you always are so sweet to everyone, including me. I like how your cold front melts into honey. Now someone’s told you it.”

He opens his mouth, then clamps it shut. “Sounds like someone has a little crush,” he finally says. 

“I don’t,” you smile. 

“Mm? Really?”

“You’re impossible.”

“And you’re ugly.”

“...”

“Thought we were just lying now.”

And now he’s got you all flustered, as you shake your head and get up, leaving the room with a soft “we’re done”. 

“This is your room!” he calls. 

“I know!” you yell back. 

---

Winter has passed and spring arrives to Hogwarts now, the snows fleeting away from sight and blue skies and sunny eyes replacing foggy weather. It’s a joy to behold, and the Black Lake shimmers with cerulean. 

Somehow the Marauders have convinced everyone else that a giant squid lives under the water, and that they are the only brave ones that might dare to swim with it. 

“Can we go down to the lake?” Lily asks as you both come out of a dreary Potions lesson, “Slughorn was dreadful.”

“Sure,” you smirk, “Let’s attribute the sudden need to go to the lake with Slughorn and not James Potter.”

She blushes, “For the last time, I don’t like Potter!”

“Let’s just skip the chance to see him shirtless, then, hey?” you nudge her and laugh, heading to the lake all the same. 

Remus lounges underneath a big shady tree, reading a book, as Sirius, James and Peter splash around carelessly. As James sees Lily, he gathers himself, walking out of the water very smoothly. Lily turns bright red and squeaks to you, “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.”

You grin at her, opening up your Arithmancy Advanced homework booklet as you sit down on a bench with a pen, “Sure, sure.”

Sirius meets Remus’ eye, which turns towards you. He wades out of the water carefully. He realises he’s going to need to do more as you don’t even glance at him, choosing to be entirely absorbed in your homework. 

“Moony, what do I do?” he whispers and Remus shrugs, “I dunno, catch her attention?”

Sirius calls your voice softly and you turn your head to him, eyes still on the paper and scrawling away. 

“Can you help me with one of the questions?” Sirius asks as he dries himself off with a towel, “Well, a few.” 

Your eyes snap to him, and widen as you see that not only James is shirtless, but he is too. You avert your gaze. He’s very pretty like this, skin backlit by the afternoon sun, muscles lovely and defined. He looks so sweet right now and you just wish he would be sweet on you. You must be exploiting his good looks. 

“Sure. First put on a shirt please,” you smile politely at him.

“Nah, I’m more comfortable like this,” he snarks. 

You couldn’t argue with that, and so you shifted a little to let him sit down. He’s warm with exercise and sits close to you. You shift away, red with the fact that he is so, so, close. 

He frowns, and gives you a little space. But as he sees your blushing face, he smirks. 

“So,” he locks eyes with you intensely, and you’re the one who looks away first, “Question 3?”

“Right. Do you understand the basic concepts of…”

Sirius is a wonderful student, easy on the eyes, but also highly intelligent, even in his banter. 

You can’t pick up on it, but he borderline dotes on you. “You’re such a nerd, you know that?” he says adoringly. 

“I do, in fact. Now can you tell me, what’s the next part to this question? We’re on Question 5.”

“Not sure. I’m ‘fraid you’re going to have to explain it to me.”

Your eyes flit to his as if to say again?

“Again,” he confirms sweetly and you pull out your notes again without complaining. You don’t know if Sirius is playing along or not, but he’s so lovely you don’t say anything. 

Sirius’ handwriting is unsteady as he writes his own answers. “Homeostasis,” he says grimly as he notices that you notice and you laugh. 

“You’re being weird,” you say, “Are you okay?”

“Well not particularly, homogeneous equations are not serotonin-inducing.”

You laugh and turn your gaze towards Lily, who is walking back towards you. She looks very happy and very in love, so you scoop up all your homework and smile at Sirius. 

“I’ve got to go. Return the pen to me in class, won’t you?” you speak and scurry off.

He watches your receding figure like he’s lost something. Remus chuckles from behind him, “C’mon loverboy, you can catch her later. Let’s go. Prongs? Wormtail?”

“Comin’!”

“So then he said to me, ‘Merlin, you’re beautiful.’ Beautiful- not pretty or hot or cute, beautiful!” Lily gushes to you and you grin, yawning as you finish your Transfiguration homework. 

“Tell me more, then?”

She squeals. 

–

One thing about Sirius Black was that he was never one to give up, nor one to know when to either. So he persisted, even though there was nothing to persist for. You were already more than his. But when you came sniffling to Lily, sobbing about something, he felt something genuine, more genuine than he had ever felt for anybody before. 

“Lily, they mark so inconsistently,” you cried, “I worked so hard on this and I only got 90%! What sort of utter absurdity is this!?”

“Why don’t you take a nice relaxing shower and we’ll have a girls’ night, eh?” Lily smiled tenderly at you. 

“The first part is okay,” you sighed, “But all I want is to mope.”

Lily grins suddenly, “Okay, you do that.” 

You hear murmuring as you finish up your shower feeling much more relaxed. 

Then, there isn’t a sisterly presence in the room but one that is very familiar.

“Deja vu, isn’t it?” he strides in confidently. 

You sigh, “I’m sorry, you really don’t need to be here. I know Lils conscripted you but even I know that it’s terribly unpleasant to deal with a grieving girl.”

“Not if it’s you, love,” he says so genuinely. 

“Stop, Sirius,” you whispered softly. 

“Stop what?” he looked at you worriedly.

“Stop being so nice to me,” you tear up, “You can’t be serious about it.”

“Oh darling–”

“And stop calling me that,” you mumble, “It’s making me feel worse.”

“I can’t help it, they slip through.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I’m a mess right now.” 

“Hey, gorgeous, it’s okay.” 

He lingers awkwardly. 

“You can sit,” you pat a spot next to you.

“Thanks,” he says as the bed dips, “I really do enjoy soft things, but I was sinking in your floor.”

You laugh.

He just stares inquisitively at you- perhaps a little different to the way you’ve noticed him glance at anybody before. You stare at him back, imitating the intensity of the looks he always gave you, and everyone else too. He turns really, really red. All Sirius wants is to hold you, you look so soft right now. 

You both talk for a little bit, and he’s charming. He’s very smooth and half of his remarks either sound too flirtatious or too genuine. It’s hard to tell with him. 

You glance at the clock ticking away.

“It’s getting late,” you start, “You should probably turn in for the night.”

Sirius is beaming at you, but never stops, “Mm?”

“I don’t know about you but I feel awful when I don’t get enough sleep.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep. You can stay here if you want, but if I drift off or Lily comes in snogging James, it isn’t my problem.”

“Okay. Did you hear about how the…”

Your eyelids begin to flutter shut, the day’s troubles forgotten as you fall asleep. 

After he’s sure that you’re sleeping, Sirius smiles softly, heaping the covers over your body and shutting off the lights. 

He leaves soon enough, and is met with a grateful Lily, who pats him on the back and hands him a chocolate frog. He unwraps it quickly and groans. 

“Awh, Dumbledore again!?”

--

“So Sirius flies down to the third gauge of the pitch, allowing Finlay to break free from opp. Marlene you trick your way into second, and Keys, you’re going to be hovering just before left hoop.”

“That’s Set 8. I’ll hold up fingers to indicate which one. We need to randomise them. Everyone got it?”

Murmurs of “Got it,” echo around the room. 

“Training dismissed. Thanks team, see you Friday on the pitch for training.”

Sirius waits for James as he shoves water bottles, red tape, blue tape, green tape, sunscreen into his kit bag. He lugs his own bag over his shoulder, nodding to Madam Hooch as she locks up the pitch. In the distance, he can hear two female voices.

“Ladies,” Hooch calls, “It’s past 11.”

“Sorry ma’am,” he hears your voice, “We were studying at the library. It ran over time.”

“Of course. Run along, wouldn’t want a prefect to find you.”

Snickering. 

“Girls?”

“Right, sorry ma’am,” your voice again, “We’re on our way.”

James gives Sirius a pointed look. Sirius scowls back. 

“Potter, Black, you too.”

“Potter?” you tease Lily, loud enough to be heard.

“Shut up, stupid,” Lily nudges you and you giggle. 

“Thank merlin that I took a shower. Do I look alright, mate?” James offers Sirius the question.

“I can’t see anything, Prongs.”

“Imagine.”

Sirius makes a retching noise and James flips him off. “You’re insufferable.”

“Hey, you’re picking up on her vocab too!” 

“Evans!” he jogs towards her and seeing her books clutched in her hand he offers his arm, “May I?”

You know when you’re not welcome in a situation and are chatting Madam Hooch’s ear off.

“And I told him, I’m no Quidditch player-”

“Oh really,” Hooch jokes, “Who would’ve thought?”

“Ma’am, have you seen these guns?”

“Says the Cannons supporter.”

“What, you go for, what, the Appleby Apples?”

“Arrows.”

“Appleby.”

“You’re infuriating, but you’re cute,” Hooch smiles coyly.

“Gee, thanks ma’am, you think I can pop in for a cookie next time? I heard yours are real good.”

“‘Course. Now goodnight.”

“Night!”

You walk fast through the castle. It’s cold, daunting and very dark. With the steep light of your wand and the candles from the Great Hall, it’s eerie, even. You shiver and quicken your pace, pulling your jumper closer to your body. 

“Hey sweet thing, you okay?” Sirius saunters to you and you wrinkle your nose at him. Darn him, he has long legs. And a whole quidditch bag full of heavy things he can use as his arsenal. And his hair is pulled back into a bun, strands falling out of place, quidditch jumper on. He looks very soft gazing at you like this, brows furrowed in concern. 

“It’s a treacherous world out there,” you smile. 

He smiles back, very comfortingly, “It is, isn’t it? If I didn’t have this bag of spiky beater equipment I’d be knocking on Minnie’s door. I’ll take your books. And be your personal bodyguard.”

“Thanks Sirius.”

“Anything for you.”

To his surprise, you slip a hand through his arm and curl it around his bicep. He’s a goner, he’s crimson but he’s lucky you don’t seem to notice. “You dote on all your girls?”

He just smiles to himself, shaking his head, “I don’t have as many ‘girls’ as you think.” 

“That means you dote on all of them,” you grin.

“I only have one.”

“Oh? You’ve settled?” You removed your hand so as to not cause trouble. 

“Not yet,” he says as you reach the common room and climb in,“C’ya beautiful!” He walks away to the Gryffindor quidditch team’s bathroom. 

You sit flusteredly down at a table, even though Sirius hasn’t done anything in particular, covering your warm face with your hands. 

–

Very few plates are clinking and no cutlery is being dropped onto the table with a dull thud at breakfast, given it is early. You slide in next to Dorcas at the Slytherin table. “Morning!” you greet as she gives you a smile. 

“Where’s everyone else?” you ask, and before she can answer you smirk, “Oh I forgot, it’s 6am and only the young rise so late!” 

You both beam at each other and giggle. 

“What’s got you looking very fine in a princess dress?” you ask Dorcas and she grins. 

“Marlene’s taking me out tonight. Wanna do my hair later?”

“Obviously. After prefect duty.”

“You got it, boss.”

You clatter down your cutlery, contemplating Sirius Black. Knocking on the door, you shake your head. Boys are just boys. You shouldn’t think about them.

“Deep in thought, sweetie?” Pomfrey bustles as she tends to patients. 

“Hi ma’am!” You jolt out of your thoughts and quickly tie on an apron, “What’s it today? Hey Charlie!”

Charlie waves at you, busy with making sandwiches, “Sleep well?”

“Yup, you?”

“Excellent.”

Pomfrey handed you some ointment, “Show Charlotte Cooper how to put this on, will you? She’s got a burn. Black, don’t you dare move! You’re troubling me enough!” 

You swivel around and meet eyes with Sirius. He’s got the tiniest cut on his face, just grazing his temple, and is clutching a bruise on his hand. 

“Bludger clipped me,” he laments. 

“Tough one,” Charlie sympathises, “Mate, you gotta try this topical cream for those cuts, I always use them for when the bludger isn’t treating me well.”

“Really, bro, I don’t usually fraternise with the enemy,” you scoff as you help a first-year lay on a thick layer of ointment, “But yeah sure mate.”

“Here, let me get it for you.” Charlie digs around in his pocket and pulls out a tiny little jar, “Catch, dude.”

“Thanks my guy. Love you.”

“Is this how they act all the time?” The first-year whispers to you. 

You laugh, “Lottie, this is just guys.”

“Are they in love?”

“Very much so.”

“Are you jelly?” 

“How could I be?”

“You like Siri!”

“I do not, Lottie.”

“Charles!” Pomfrey yells, “You’re distracting my patient. Make your sandwiches! Oh my Merlin, Zabini!”

Noel Zabini was on fire as he yelped. “The charm hasn’t worn off yet!” 

Pomfrey points at you whilst frantically putting out the fire, “Patch him up!”

Charlotte giggles, “Ooooh…”

You clamp her mouth shut before she starts singing, washing your hands. You size Sirius up whilst drying them. He laughs heartily. 

“Now don’t patronise the poor girl or I’ll make Charles do it.”

Sirius shuts up. You dip a cotton swab into iodine solution, turning to him. He’s quite tall, not Remus tall but still quite a height away from you. 

“Please take a seat,” you smile at him.

He shakes his head. 

“Take a seat, mate, it shows off your eyes,” Charlie calls as he washes up plates. 

Sirius sits, “Mate, I’d totally marry you.”

“Pfft, dude, I would too but have you seen my girlfriend? She’s to die for.”

“True. I mean, I don’t mean your girlfriend, but uh-”

“Oh my gosh, be quiet,” you shut his mouth for him, “Now stay still, ‘kay?”

You dab carefully at his cut. “Good news, it’s clotting and it’ll probably heal in 3 days. I’ll put a bandaid on it and it’s all good.”

Madam Pomfrey gives you an amused look as he looks up at you from where he sits. 

“It’ll heal better if it gets kissed.”

You snicker, “You’re right. Charlie?”

“Not him,” Sirius grimaced.

“I may truly adore Sirius but I refuse.” 

You smile, “Then, you’ll have to go without, Sirius. Knuckles now.”

He pushes his hand out and you inspect them and wince. “That must hurt.”

You dab a little soothing cream on them and band aid them up. Then you hand him a mirror. He’s got a nice invisible bandaid on his face and princess ones on his knuckles. 

“At least you could’ve gotten me the horse from Tangled.”

“You’re all good to go, Sirius.”

“No pain meds?”

You sigh, “Nope, now off you go.”

“Thanks, lovely girl.”

You’re already onto patching Lucius Malfoy up, as a concerned Narcissa sits by.

“He’s going to be okay, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure? He copped a pretty big knock.”

“I’ll clean up his wounds and we’ll see what we can do about that concussion, okay?”

–

“Thanks for the rounds, Charlie,” you part ways with him on the way to your common rooms.

“Charlie!” His girlfriend calls, “Hey babe!” she says to you. 

“Hey Val!”

After exchanging some friendly words, you scramble to find Dorcas, Marlene, Lily, James, Remus, Remus’ friend Gertrude, Peter, Mary, Alice, Frank, Sirius crammed into your dorm room, bustling and getting ready for Hogsmeade. 

“Oh thank Merlin.” A curling iron is handed to you. 

“What do we need this for?” 

James gestures to Lily. 

“Okay.”

You quickly curl Lily’s hair for her, straighten Marlene’s, twist Dorcas’ braids into a ponytail with a white ribbon, braid Alice’s hair, help Gertrude pick out a dress and put faux freckles on Mary plus choose a lipstick shade for her. Then you straighten James’ hair, laugh for a good ten minutes and curl it back because there’s nothing like a traumatised Lily Evans. 

You finally sit down and-

“My cut hurts, gorgeous,” Sirius mutters to you. 

You rub your eyes, “Okay.”

“Please?”

You don’t act as though you’ve given in, but you kiss his temple very lightly. 

“Happy?”

Sirius shakes his head stubbornly, pushing out his knuckles. You kiss them too. He’s suddenly overcome with affection for you and surges forward, wrapping his arms around you. He’s warm and kind and smells nice too. The jumper he’s wearing is soft. 

“You really didn’t have to,” he mutters into your hair, “But thank you, love.”

“What’s got you so soft?” You grin at him. 

“Yeah, what’s got you so soft?” James calls.

“Oh come on boys, let’s go to Hogsmeade!” Lily links arms with you and pulls you up. In the flurry that follows you don’t have enough time to put your coat back on. 

“Well darn aren’t you cold?” Lily asks as you shiver. 

“Yeah, forgot to bring a jumper,” you frown, “It’s okay, I’ve been meaning to get a new sweater anyway.” Lily gives a very intentional glance towards Sirius, who is currently laughing with Mary. 

He sobers up, making an “i’m in trouble” face at Mary. 

“Are you sure?” Lily says loudly, “I mean it’s really cold and you haven’t got anything on. I’m sure one of us could give you a layer. Here,” she shrugs out of her jacket, and glares at Sirius. 

Sirius intervenes, “I don’t think that’ll be necessary, Lily, you keep that on.”

He places his jacket on your shoulders, takes off his scarf and drapes it around your neck. 

“There. Perfect.” He looks at you right in your eyes. You blink.

“Thanks, Sirius.”

“Let’s go to The Three Broomsticks!” James shouts. 

The bell tinkles as you enter. The group sits down, bustling with joy. 

“12 Butterbeers please, ma’am,” James orders as you lean into Lily, chatting merrily with her, stealing glances at Sirius, who never seems to return them. 

But when things between Lily and James become very romantic, you turn to Sirius, who’s next to James, Butterbeer untouched.

“You okay there?” 

He smiles, “Yeah.”

“Well what are you thinking about?”

“How screwed I am.”

“For what?” 

“Can you come with me?” 

He’s urgent in his tone and you immediately pop up. You’re about to dig into your pockets to find your wallet but he stops you. “No need.” He puts three galleons on the table. 

The wind bites at your face outside, and you question the need for such a location to talk. It’s cold and the wind blows at your face at an ungodly angle and you know you look absurd in a jacket falling past your thighs, scarf oversized too but wrapped too many times around your neck and hair. Snow falls onto your eyelashes. It’s all a magnificent juxtaposition to Sirius, warmly smiling at you, grey eyes a shade more gold. 

“I swear if you brought me out here in the freezing cold just to tell me that the earth is round I will personally-”

“Please tell me you like me like I like you. Everyone else says you do but I don’t know,” he rambles. 

“How’d you like me?”

“More than anyone and differently to everyone.”

“You like me?”

He nods slowly. He’s huddled with you under blinding snow, his back intentionally shielding you from the direction of the harsh sleet and hands on the sides of your hips. 

You reach your arms to hang clumsily around his neck. He swallows. 

“Do you reciprocate my feelings?” he asks tenderly. 

You laugh lightly. “You really would think that I don’t?” You tippytoe, barely reaching his lips. You see a little uncertainty flicker in his eyes. You soften, relaxing. “Of course I do.” You nestle your head in the crook of his neck. There’s a gentle fragrance you find there. Maybe it could be your boyfriend’s cologne. “Can we be dating then?” you glance hopefully at him. 

A look of shock escapes onto his face, “You want to be dating me?”

“Please?” 

“Oh sweetheart, of course we can be.”

“So will you be my boyfriend?”

A sweet smile found its way onto Sirius’ lips. “Yeah. That would be nice.”

“I’ve been meaning to go to Brook’s. Will you come with me?” Brook’s was a lovely girly spot with clothes and beverages and books and sometimes other girls you could talk to. 

Sirius stares off for a bit. No one’s ever asked him to accompany them to Brook’s, as simple as it sounds and there’s a pang of fondness for you. It’s said so undemandingly too.

“I know it’s a lot of pink and frills and stuff, so it’s okay-”

“I’ll go. I don’t mind girly.” 

You beam at him, “Really?”

“I’d go anywhere for you, sweet thing.”

[marauder-ing-your-heart]

the promised fic has arrived!!

just a cute little thing about the black brothers when they were kids, no angst in this one (though i did get ahead of myself, and have already started a second chapter that is shaping up to be rather depressing)

content: black brothers as kids!, comfort, brotherly love, good brothers!regulus and sirius, bad parents!walburga and orion (but what's new), cute, sweet, reggie being scared of storms [maybe it's because of the loud noises and flashing reminding him of...certain things (but that's for later chapters🤭)], just my favourite brothers word count: 813

enjoy this sweet comfort fic! (while it lasts😈)

Storms and Blankets - black brothers fluff

Regulus silently slipped out of his room, muffling his whimpers and sniffling into the arm of his solid green pyjamas as he stumbled quickly on bare feet to his big brother’s room.

To safety.

Outside, the storm raged, furious and howling, punctuated with flashes of harsh lightning and great explosive booms.

Regulus shivered, clutching his blanket closer to him as he hurried up the corridor, footsteps growing more panicked and rapid as the short distance seemed to stretch. From elsewhere in the house, the obnoxiously gothic ornate grandfather clock tick-tocked loud and harsh, echoing throughout the countless empty, winding hallways of Grimmauld Place.

Regulus flinched, squeaking slightly as the oppressive silence of the night was again disturbed by a threatening growl of thunder, this time joined by an ominous tolling from the aforementioned clock. Twelve o’clock. Twelve resounding tolls punctuated with groans of wood and window panes as wind and rain battered them, terrifying booms of thunder, and blinding flashes of light.

The scene was a perfect replica of a scene from a horror story.

Suddenly, the door ahead of him swung open, washing a patch of the otherwise cold and unwelcoming hallway in warm light. The action was fast and almost could be taken as careless, but Regulus could see how carefully the strength had been measured to prevent it from slamming against a wall, lest it alert their parents. 

Sirius’ head peeked out from the door frame, beaming at Regulus, before his brother stepped out of his doorway fully, walking toward where Regulus had frozen.

“Reg! Come, come, quickly! I’ll protect you from the big bad storm!”, Sirius proudly declared, puffing out his chest with his hands on his hips, and generally making a fool of himself. He wrapped an arm around Regulus’ wiry shoulders, and dragged him the few steps remaining to his bedroom, closing the door behind them.

The distance that had seemed so daunting and fearsomely untraversable just moments prior was suddenly revealed to be only a mere handful of steps.

A small smile fought its way onto Regulus’ face as he buried closer to his brother’s warmth.

The pair shuffled over to Sirius’ bed, sides pressed together the whole while, as though they were conjoined at birth, and huddled together under the warm covers of luxurious goose-down blankets. If there was one thing you could be sure of about Walburga and Orion Black, it would be that they loved indulgent finery, and only ever used the best, as was befitting of the Most Noble and Ancient status.

Giggling, Sirius reached a hand over to where Regulus lay curled at his side, stealthy as a snake on the hunt, before quickly lashing out and digging into exposed sides. Regulus barely managed to smother his shriek of indignance, and suppressed a peal of laughter into muffled giggles as his brother began to launch a merciless tickle attack.

“Siri! Siri stop! Hahaha! Siri-” Regulus struggled out between gasps and bouts of frantically smothered laughter.

“Never! Watch out, Reggie! The tickle monster is out to get ya!” Sirius whisper-yelled.

“Noooooo! Ahahaha- Stop it Siri- No! Hahah- Haha!”

Sirius sat back on his heels, looking down at his little brother, satisfied with having lifted his mood. Regulus lay sprawled on his back, dishevelled and wheezing, very un-lordly.

The older Black brother took advantage of the vulnerable position Regulus lay in, and sprawled on top of his smaller and slighter form, knocking the breath out of his chest once again, before rolling over onto his back and clamping his arms around his arms and waist.

“Lemme gooo! Noooo!” Regulus whined kicking ineffectually at his brother’s shins. This only prompted his aggressor to tighten his hold.

“If I let you up, will you grab the blanket and come cuddle with your big brother again?” Sirius teased.

“No! I’m leaving! I hate youuuuu!” Regulus complained.

Sirius laughed and loosened his arms, knowing the squirming mass in his arms would in fact return to his initial position at his side.

True to his thoughts, Regulus sat up and pulled the bunched and discarded blanket, pushed nearly off the bed in their tussle. When he returned to his big brother’s side, however, he curled up with his back facing Sirius, staunch in his refusal to acquiesce and prove Sirius right.

Well, that won’t do, supplied Sirius’ mind.

With a gentle, fluid motion, Sirius wrapped his small arms around the other, even smaller boy, and pulled him until he was snuggled in his warm embrace, back to chest.

“Goodnight Reggie, my little brother!” he whispered into Regulus’ hair.

“G’night Siri…” was the sleep-slurred reply he got.

And with a quiet chuckle, Sirius shuffled himself closer to his brother, tucking him into his chest in an effort to guard and protect his defenceless sleeping body.

The storm howled on, forgotten by the duo as they drifted into a peaceful slumber.

word count: 814

[quirrrky]

THE BOY NEXT DOOR 「03. THE CHASE」

『MASTERLIST』  « PREV • NXT » 

𐑂 2.4k+ words 𐑂 Your new neighbor, Miya Atsumu, is everything you’ll never ask for. With his annoying good looks and equally irritating charm, how can you not resist the boy next door?   𐑂 neighbors, humor, enemies to lovers, fake dating, friends to lovers

It was late at night and tomorrow Atsumu would be released from the hospital. He rubbed his eyes, suddenly waking up in the middle of the night and he saw you seated on the guardian's bench.

"Y/N?" He asked, surprised. "Where's Samu?"

"Oh...he went out for a bit."

"What're you doin' here? Idiot, you should be home. It's late!" He reprimanded and you walked over to him.

"Since it has been a week of me taking care of you, I figured why don't I give you a little surprise."

He wondered. "Surprise?"

You sat near him at the edge of his bed. "I wonder if I can be your nurse for today." Atsumu looked you up and down and saw that you're wearing a nurse uniform. He gulped. His face started to heat up. You chuckled and leaned close to him. "I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes."

Atsumu followed in anticipation as he closed his eyes tight. His heart beat fast that it was all he could hear in his head until a loud beeping sound came buzzing in.

He instantly opened his eyes, and was welcomed by Bokuto's face hovering his. "Morning, Tsum Tsum! You'll be released today! Aren't you excited?"

It...was just a dream? His face reddened in an instant at the realization. Shameful. But what could he do? You were the one beside him for the entire week and to say that you looked okay as a person was an understatement...he thought you were kinda' cute. Errr, not that he's crushin' on ya or somethin' it's just...

Tsumu shook his head, getting his thoughts in order.

"C'mon get up! We can still play volleyball for the day!"

"Sure sure..." Dreaming of you that way...Now, he's more than frustrated. What's more frustrating was you'd probably act like nothing happened once he returns. It ain't that he's expecting you'd be chummy-chummy or something but...

Aughhhh! All that one week of nothing? That's just nothing?

Deciding that he was thinking non-sense, he played Volleyball with the boys the entire day instead right after being released. Somehow, he must get you out of his system. Besides, he had seen and dated a lot of girls much prettier than you. Ha! It's not like you had that much of an impact on him.

"Oh, come on, Tsum Tsum! Aren't you gonna treat us to some drinks?" Bokuto asked and elevator doors opened.

"Yes, yes! We can still stay!" Shoyo added as they stepped out.

They all accompanied him back to apartment with Omi lingering in the shadows, as what Atsumu would call it.

He got his brows pinched together. "Yer all just gonna make a mess of my room."

"No way! Omi's here!" The silver-haired reasoned and pointed out.

Atsumu slumped his shoulders. "I don't think I'm up for tonight, guys." He really ain't in the mood to play around this time. There's a lot happening inside his head lately. His eyes travelled to the door next to his. You were still not in. It's Friday, so you should be home, but knowing you...Your officemates might have pitted you into this.

He swung his head away.

Not that he cared that much.

Besides, you'd be treating him like a stranger again. Someone you'd pass by and ignore along the hallway even if it's just the two of you there.

The elevator pinged and he saw you went out of it. You had that nonchalant expression on your face and you paused in front of your door as if seeing nothing. Your earphones blocking your environment again like he ain't existing. You don't give a single damn! Even just a single glance...

"On a second thought, I think I still have a spare to treat y'all for drinks." Atsumu announced, making sure he said it quite loud.

Bokuto and Hinata cheered, proclaiming that they'd get all their favorite snacks.

"I'll shoulder some too! This is like a homecoming party!" Hinata excitedly reacted. "Oh, is that Y/N? Hello Y/N-san! We're having a homecoming party here tonight!"

Homecoming party? Did you hear that right? You slyly looked at their direction, scrunching in horror.

Atsumu did see that and the grin on his face was irreplaceable. "Let her be. Let's head out to the convenience store and have fun when we get back here."

The boys passed by leaving you in distraught. Unbelievable! You just had an overtime! Tonight was your long-awaited pamper moment and they'd be having a party?

You went inside your room and gathered your thoughts. He also had his own space to do his own thing as long as he's not interrupting you. That's reasonable.

Living next to Atsumu meant knowing how to do your own stuff regardless of his existence, so tonight was your pamper night and it would push through.

You drew in a warm bath with your newly-bought wireless earbuds as companion. Now, you were able to drown the noise next door. You made sure that the one you bought was Atsumu-proof so you could enjoy your own private moment without his interruption.

You went on preparing food for your movie night still not minding your neighbor's business. You set up your laptop and chose a movie with your feed and tub of ice cream in hand.

However, things were being amped up next door.

As you watched your movie, assuming some moment of peace, the wall behind you began to tremor. The wall was banging again and you could feel the impact of it. What was that? Were they...They're playing volleyball inside his apartment?

You removed one of your earbuds.

There were loud hooting and howling from the boys, specifically from Atsumu, Hinata and Bokuto. And though you thought that the urchin-haired was very creepy, you're liking him a lot better right now for keeping quiet.

You looked at the clock. It was 2am now and they're still up?

You closed your eyes trying to summon the last bit of patience you had left. You only had a few hours of sleep, you were so busy in your office, your spare time was spent taking care of Atsumu for the past week and now this.

The wall banged again and you exploded. You began hitting the wall back with the most intensity you could do. Just as when Atsumu thought he had seen the best of you, here you were surprising him again.

You were equally surprised that they became quiet at the instant you returned them the favor. However, just as you raised your foot to the couch, your doorbell rang.

Atsumu...You rolled your eyes and opened up as soon as you confirmed that it was him through the peephole.

"Wanna join us?" His smug smirk irritating you to no end.

"No. If I will, I might end up in the newspaper tomorrow." You replied.

"Yeah, you definitely will for hangin' out with the aces of MSBY Jackals."

You scoffed. "No, for being slayed the next morning. Good night." Slammed the door right onto his face.

"Woah! Tsum Tsum got rejected!" Bokuto teased, but did Atsumu feel bothered? Hell, no. You taking time to rebut him was a victory, because your snobby ass couldn't resist his presence.

Because of what happened the boys rejoiced even more, leaving you in disarray the next morning. God, you woke up with a heavy feeling! Good thing  you were about to hang out your best friend today. It was more than enough to keep you optimistic.

With so much excitement, you headed inside the elevators anticipating your day out when Tsumu's door opened. You pressed the close doors button repetitively, closing the elevator right on his face.

It's payback time for last night and the other nights he didn't let you get your quality sleep.

And it didn't end with that. Once you reached the ground floor, you pushed all the buttons so it would take long before it comes back up to him again.

Ha! Wearing a bright smile on your face, you totally thought you won.

Time didn't feel like it passed at all. You couldn't believe it's already evening. You just had so much fun! Grinning, you typed on your phone as you stepped out of the elevator, thanking your best friend for a wonderful day. You watched your favorite movie at the cinema and you went to play in the arcade. You even won a plushie together, which you managed to claim for yourself.

You headed inside your home and slumped your body onto the sofa. You glanced at the watch...9 pm. Perhaps, you could take a little nap before you take a bath and before Atsumu could interrupt you.

As you closed your eyes, lewd moaning sounds came through from the other side. Your eyes snapped open. Don't tell me...

This early?

Don't tell me it's a new girl? But the masculine voice didn't sound much like Atsumu, which meant...

Augh! Gross! Did he really have to amp up the volume as he watched an adult video? How low could this guy get? Well, you knew he's doing this on purpose to piss you off. That attention-seeking asshole!

But you wouldn't let him affect you, so you went straight to the bathroom to prepare yourself for a bath. Much to your shock...There's no water?

You fetched your phone to message your landlady, but you discovered that she sent you one this afternoon but you just failed to open it.

❙ Otose Y/N, there's a leak in the piping so there will be no water supply in bathrooms located in even number units.

You drew in a deep breath. Now, you were forced to go to the bathhouse to wash yourself. You made sure to slam the door hard as you leave your room to let Atsumu know that he pissed you off real bad.

With a deep and satisfying sigh, you sat down in front of a mirror and began lathering soapily over your body.

"Hello!" A beautiful woman sat beside you and greeted. "I haven't seen you that much here."

It looked like she already finished her bathing and just sat beside you to be nosy.

You smiled to her in return. "Oh...it's because the shower piping in my apartment got broken, so I might be using the bathhouse for the meantime."

"I see I see." She flashed her pretty pearly whites and asked. "Why don't you shower in your boyfriend's room?"

Your face flushed in embarrassment. "I-I don't have a boyfriend."

"Shhh..." she leaned close and whispered, "the serial killer is attacking single women. You might wanna keep that a secret."

Oh...You almost forgot about that. How careless of you. "Thank you. Thank you for reminding me."

"No problem. Kana, by the way." She extended her hand.

You shook it in acknowledgment. "Y/N, do you live around here?"

"Yes, I do. We might bump into each other sometime. I jog around every morning." Kana happily stated. You remembered that Atsumu jogs every morning too, that's if he actually wakes up before it gets to afternoon. Maybe they know each other?

"So Y/N...Why're you single? Don't you think being in a relationship feels nice?" She continued.

"I don't know. All I know is I haven't found anyone to be in a relationship with. I'm fine by myself anyway, so it doesn't bother me that much."

"Is that so?" She commented and chuckled. "You're weird. I like that. Anyway, I have to go it's getting a bit late."

You watched as Kana left. Looking around, you were the only one who remained bathing. You gulped and rinsed the soap off your body. Somehow, you felt the need to hurry. Some of the lights in the hallway were turned off. It wasn't like the a while ago. You felt bad about this. You made haste to the changing room to dry yourself and to put on your clothes. It was very quiet here and since this was a self-service bathhouse, you're sure you were alone.

Or were you really?

Grabbing your bag and jacket, you headed for the exit when you heard a sound coming from behind you. You looked back and no one's there. You gulped. Right now, you were wishing it was just a ghost.

A pail fell and you looked back again. No one was there. Seriously now...you were kind of wishing it was Atsumu.

Increasing your speed, you walked through the hallway almost running when you turned to look back only to find nothing, but when you looked forward again, you were met with a scalpel about to hit you. You reflexively took your jacket as cover and the tool slashed a part of it. You looked up and it was as if time froze.

Your eyes met.

He was wearing a medical mask and cap.  

Is this...

In a snap, you ran back to the bathing area. You had more head start advantage going that way than through the exit's direction, where he could easily grab you back. You hid in between two aisles, making sure he's not seeing you through the mirrors, but you were able to see him. You were breathing heavily but you pulled yourself from avoid doing so.

He took the left aisle so you crawled to the right, hiding underneath the counter. You dipped low so he won't be able to see your reflection through the opposite mirrors. You watched as he cautiously looked around, observing which route would he take next. He turned to the left direction going to your aisle, so you turned right going to his. Like a merry-go-round, so he won't be able to catch you.

You observed him through the mirror. He was wearing a full medical attire including a white lab coat and scrubs. The killer was a doctor? Which meant...He's smart! He knew what you're up to and you're sure he's gonna catch you next time. He's just waiting for the right time to surprise you.

You panicked.

What do I do? Your hands trembled in fear. How could you forget about the killer! You're no match for him. Was this going to be the end for you? You went to the bathhouse late at night when it was just reported a week ago that he's targeting the bathhouses?

Are you an idiot? Somehow, you heard Atsumu's insulting voice inside your head. That voice that triggered so many emotions in you. If there's one thing you weren't, that would be an idiot!

Think, Y/N! Think!

You scrambled your head for answers, and finally, you took in a deep breath, reaching your arm over the counter to take a bath soap. You stood up and threw it on him, catching his attention. Shit! Shit! Shit! You ran, taking another soap in hand along the way. You pretended to trip and he took the chance to charge against you. As he approached, you slid the bar soap to his direction, causing him to slip. The moment he stumbled, you immediately stood up and ran towards the exit, grabbing the bag you dropped on the floor as you made your way out.

This is it, Y/N! No looking back! No looking back! At last! You were finally near the reception. However, you were suddenly forced to stop.

𐑂 AN : AAAAAAHHHH the serial killer thing...yes, the serial killer is not just a plot decoration;  somehow it will be a subtle part that will drive the story! After all, Y/N and Atsumu got acquainted with each other bc of it! I know you didn’t sign up for that in a romance novel but I’m rly stoked to add some twists and turns to make stuff more exciting and to challenge my writing capabilities. Also, I know some might be craving the in-between scenes in the hospital, but I’m gonna leave some of that to your imagination. Tbh, nothing much happened in between since Y/N here is pretty aloof. That’s why Tsumu knew she’d return to ignoring him once he’s gotten out of the hospital, but somehow, their time spent there together made Y/N more receptive of him that she’s now talking back to him! All I can say is...you will see how their dynamic will change as the story progresses. AGAIN! Thank you very much and Chapter 4 will be this coming sunday! 🫶 

𐑂 TAGLIST : drop the ff emoji on my ask box to be added 🔔

REBLOGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED ♡ Please help me reach other viewers. Thank you so so much!

© quirrrky 2022 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means.

✧ DAYDREAM MUSEUM ✧

[heniareth]

ZevWarden Week 2023

Day 2: Secrets, Kept and Told

His Best-Kept Secret

Wordcount: 1,515 | Rating: Teen and Up

Zevran has let himself be catured and is waiting for his Warden. The interrogation, however, is taking an unexpected turn.

WARNINGS FOR:

canon typical violence

the mention of torture

arrow portruding out of someone's stomach

(Read down below or here on AO3)

The torture hadn't started yet, and if everything went according to Zevran's plan, it never would.

Well. Plan was a strong word to use for his vague idea of how things would go. But it was much quicker to say and sounded like more. Presentation was half the sell. His captors seemed to know this too, however, artfully as they had arranged him. And professionally. Zevran tested his restraints for the uptenth time. They held fast, just as they had done the last time, and the time before that, and... Well. It was sufficient to say that these people knew their business. They were even letting him wait for hours in end. Maybe to give him the time to think about his crimes. How very considerate.

And how lucky he was to have a different, secret, and far more exciting topic to think about while he worked on freeing himself.

Antiva had gotten far more beautiful ever since his love had arrived here. He had missed her. He had missed her terribly. Her letter announcing her arrival had sent him mad with fear. She was his secret, his best kept secret. And she would walk right on the Crows' home turf? Out of the question. And he had told her as much.

All these fears had been set aside like old clothes when he had laid eyes on her again. The permanent good mood he had been afflicted with ever since—sweet affliction, sweetest of them all—hadn't dissipated even now. And why would it? His Warden was in Antiva, by his side once more. He would see her again in... Zevran checked the angle of the sunbeam filtering through the window. In an hour or so. They hadn't deprived him of a way to measure time, a gross oversight on their part. Had they actually buckled down to properly inch him ever closer to despai, as torture was supposed to do, they wouldn't have committed such a mistake. Securely as they had tied them up, surely they were not amateurs?

The question answered itself. The door swung open and a black-clad figure entered the dusty but well-lit room. The figure evidently shared his opinion on the preparations; they—she, if Zevran's eyes did not deceive him—scowled as she regarded the room.

"I know, I know," Zevran called over, intent on speeding this along so he could make his appointment. "It would not have been my location of choice either."

Behind the figure, the door slammed shut with an almost offended note to it.

The newcomer clicked her tongue, took off her gloves and placed them on the empty chair sitting in front of him. Circling one wrist, he spotted what looked to be the mark of the last important house of the Crows outside of his influence.

"Arainai's whoreson," she addressed him. "Everyone thought you dead."

"Alas, it seems you were wrong," Zevran said and shrugged. "Valisti, I presume?"

"Concha del Hierro of house Valisti," the Crow nodded and bowed her head slightly. "I am pleased to formally make your acquaintance."

"Likewise," Zevran answered, bit back a smart comment, and demonstratively pulled at his restraints. "I would bow, but I find myself unable to do so. If you would unbind me, however..."

Concha scoffed, and Zevran could have sworn she was glad his captors—for captors they believed themselves to be—had at least managed to get this one thing right.

"There have been a number of deaths among the Crows," Concha began. "Starting with yours, extending to your house, and then to other houses. As the only survivor so far, you would not happen to know the source of this plague, would you?"

"I have heard rumors of a Black Shadow prowling Antiva's streets," Zevran said and didn't bother to hide his fiddling with his restraints. "So it is true?"

"So it seems," Concha answered. "An unoriginal name, if you ask me."

"House Valisti has always had an eye for the fine details," Zevran said politely.

"Spare me the flattery," Concha spat.

Had there just been an edge to her voice?

Zevran raised one eyebrow. Was this a genuine outburst or merely a ploy to make him believe he was dealing with somebody inexperienced?

"I am surprised to see members of house Valisti with so short a temper," he offered. "Master Arnoldo is doing a worse job than I thought."

"What do you care?" Concha replied, harshly.

There was, and Zevran knew this for a fact, no master Arnoldo. Not house Valisti, then?

"Concha del Hierro is not your real name, I take it?" Zevran continued.

The Crow—if she even was a Crow—bared her teeth. Her canines were unusually sharp. Half-elven, perhaps. "I am asking the questions."

Zevran cocked one eyebrow. "Are you, now?"

"Yes." A dagger rested in her hand now, steel shining in the sun. "Are you the Black Shadow?"

Zevran guffawed loudly. "This is your idea of an interrogation! If I was, would you truly expect me to simply answer you?"

The dagger flipped in her hand. At least she had some skill with the blade. "You will if you want to keep that pretty nose of yours."

"Threats! My, but you are creative," Zevran said and laughed. "Are you certain you are a Crow?"

The woman, whose name was definitely not Concha del Hierro, sad as this was, held up her tattooed wrist. "I thought your eyes would be sharper."

"Marks like these are easy to fake," Zevran said and shrugged. The bindings would come loose any time now... "A Crow's composure, however, is not. Now, what do you want with this Black Shadow?"

"I would like to tell him personally," the woman answered.

"Alas," Zevran said and sighed, "whether you meet them or not will depend on your answer to this question."

A quiet thud sounded outside the room. The woman heard it and spun around, eyes wide.

"And if this is who I believe it to be," Zevran said, "it will increase your chances of survival immensely if you tied me loose."

Another thud and a choked scream, this one right behind the door. The woman who had been interrogating him jumped up to the rack he had been tied to. Two, three quick motions loosened his restraints.

"Your weapon," Zevran said, holding out his hand.

"What!?" The woman quickly held her dagger out of reach.

The door cracked and splintered. Zevran knocked the woman off-balance, avoided her dagger and caught her arms behind her back. Then he ripped the dagger out of the woman's hand.

"This is for your own safety," he grunted, straining against the woman's efforts to break loose.

The door broke open, swinging wildly in its hinges and banging against the walls on either side of the entrance. A figure entered the room: tall, commanding, the right side of her face scarred and a loaded crossbow in her hand, pointing straight at them. A smile drew over Zevran's face before he knew it was there. Before he could say anything, his interrogator used this smallest of distractions to smash the back of her head into his nose. White light danced in front of Zevran's eyes, the woman slipped away. There was a thunk, then a pained shout, and when Zevran could see again he saw his interrogator lying on the floor, clutching her stomach, in which a heavy crossbow bolt had lodged itself. Back at the door, he could hear the crossbow that had fired it being reloaded.

"Do not shoot!" he shouted in Fereldan.

"She was attacking you!" his Warden answered likewise, but she held her shot.

Zevran moved over to his former interrogator.

"I told you, it was for your safety," he said as he removed any weapon on her person he could find. "Do not try anything else. I am afraid my rescuer is a rather quick shot."

Behind him, Zevram heard Astala scoff. The woman in front of him groaned in an attempt to see who had attacked her.

"Now, you see," Zevran said, "if you were a Crow, I would not be hearing a sound from you. You may want to pick a different disguise next time."

"Is that the fucking Hero of Ferelden?" the woman gasped in pain.

"Ah." Zevran did not dare turn his head to where his Warden was standing, searching for a suitable lie. "A momentary collaboration, if you will. But yes, you stand- er, lie in the presence of the Hero of Ferelden and the Black Shadow. What do you want of me?"

He would later tell her that Astala was merely helping him because she had her own issues with the Crows. They had tried to kill her, more than once, and they had stolen her sword, after all. He was alright telling this woman he was the Black Shadow; it might gain him an ally, and it was only his second best kept secret. His most private, his most treasured, his best-kept secret, was his Warden. And no word from his lips would reveal her to the Crows.

-

The name Concha del Hierro is a very infantile joke and I do apologize. In some Spanish-speaking places, Concha is a slang word for vagina. Hierro means iron. del technically means "from", not "out of", but it sounded better. And yeah, no, it's definitely not that poor girl's real name

Thank you so much for making it this far and to @zevraholics for organizing this event! Have a lovely day ^^

[auroradicit]

five songs that remind you of your muse.

tagged: #1 and #2 theia stan @strongfuck

tagging: @king-crane @finalslay @greyturned @fasciinating @lylavanek

When the Chips Are Down // Hadestown Original Broadway Cast

Okay, yes, I've kind of posted about this one already, but it's continuing to Be A Refrain. SO YOU'LL READ ABOUT IT AGAIN. This is Theia at her core, the muse in chorus, the multiple processes running through the whole and single voice trying to grow, the advice coached in a single, knife's-edge point of view that brooks no disagreement.

it's the question she first asks you, when the criteria are met for her deactivation and someone steps in to fill the power vacuum. whatcha gonna do now, kid? better think fast, because they're gunning for you next.

2. Eat Your Young // Hozier

Honey, I wanna race you to the table If you hesitate, the gettin' is gone I won't lie if there's somethin' to be gained There's money to be made, whatever's still to come Get some Pull up the ladder when the flood comes Throw enough rope until the legs have swung Seven new ways that you can eat your young Come and get some Skinnin' the children for a war drum Puttin' food on the table sellin' bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young

It's a very...nontraditional interpretation of this song, but I think it works for Theia, who has a lot of ways to hold herself apart from humanity. She's not judging. She's too positive, too single-minded for that. But she was designed to see the bigger picture, and--

There's something interesting in that, to me. A character who says you're eating yourselves whole and alive and bleeding, and you brought me into being to ensure you can do it even better forever and ever, amen? cool.

3. BLOODMONEY // Poppy

Never forget the excess of a man Because the grabbing hands always grab what they can

What do you believe when everyone is watching? What do you believe? What do you believe when nobody is watching? What do you believe?

&

4. Am I A Girl // Poppy

Sometimes I have these thoughts They leave me all confused It gets so hard for me Oh, is it hard for you? And all these blurry lines Get crossed inside my head When I say, "Take me home" That wasn't what I meant

Please don't complicate me I don't understand Sometimes I'm feminine Sometimes I'm masculine Don't evaluate me as woman or man

Two for one, because, I mean, Poppy is a Theia mood in general, and because it wouldn't be a Rory character without some Gender Feels. There's something to say here in putting them in parallel, about perception and belief and challenge but putting it into words is currently beyond me, I think.

Theia's arc is learning to ask herself even a few of the questions she demands of everyone else, and allowing herself to evolve her code enough to have answers.

5. Crazy Fuckin' Robot Body // Snowblood

Oh how I love you so My Creator You really have it all So much power But if I had the chance I would destroy you With the slight of my hand I could end you cause I don't need anybody anybody anybody I could destroy you with my Crazy fuckin robot body I bet you any money any money any money I will destroy you with my Crazy fuckin robot body

It's a little self-explanatory, right? But that tension becomes key to the accidental character arc theia has ended up with. her programming and directives are key to her, and doing the work over unexpected uptime of deciding which ones to keep, of realizing that the ideals and people she's Adored and Devoted herself to--the ideals that are her, priority and command line no. 1--are in tension with the way she starts to see the world over time.

[lizzygrantarchives]

Mojo, April 2021

Is Lana Del Rey – the Springsteen-approved laureate of L.A. darkness – lightening up? In 2021, a new album opens a sunnier chapter in her controversial roman-à-clef, and folk legend Joan Baez advocates her acceptance in the pantheon. But while serenity seems almost in reach, some wounds still burn and grievances rankle. “Fame can put you on the peripheries,” she tells Victoria Segal, “where the vultures can pick at you. It’s dangerous on the edges.”

IT’S MIDNIGHT IN MODESTO AND LANA DEL REY HAS swung into the backyard, pulled up in her fast car. “I told my boyfriend I was going to go out and sit in the car because I hate it when people listen to me talk,” she says. “I’m at his parents’ farm, so we’re in, like, the guest house. It’s pretty idyllic: Northern California, pretty cold, 40 degrees and a little fireplace. We had a sweet little night singing all the old Disney and holiday songs – not what I expected after a long car ride, but everyone was in a good mood.”

Tomorrow, Del Rey will hit the road back home to Los Angeles, preparing to spend Christmas Eve “with my sister and brother and just two girlfriends.” After the holiday, it will transpire she fractured her arm while spinning on her “beautiful skates” through the “twilight of the desert”: that’s why she’s wearing a sling in MOJO’s cover photograph.

Ever since she studied philosophy at New York’s Fordham University in the late 2000s, there’s been a question lurking in Del Rey’s mind: what if something happened to make the world stop? “So when it did,” she says, “I was kind of shocked.” The pandemic has inevitably hampered her movements – festivals cancelled, studio time with producer Jack Antonoff truncated – but it hasn’t slowed down her creative jumps (or her willingness to crash into social media).

September saw the publication of her poetry collection, Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass. In November, she covered Summertime as a fundraiser for the New York and Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestras; covering all bases, she also recorded You’ll Never Walk Alone for a documentary about Liverpool FC.

The most significant landmark, however, was the completion of Chemtrails Over The Country Club, the album she has been promising (sometimes as White Hot Forever) since the release of 2019’s Norman Fucking Rockwell! Bruce Springsteen, who knows a bit about the flipside of the American dream, loved that album: “She just creates a world of her own and invites you in,” he said. The cover showed Del Rey standing on a boat, one arm around Jack Nicholson’s grandson Duke, the other reaching towards the camera as if to save the viewer from the water. Behind her, the Californian coast is on fire. The Greatest, Norman Fucking Rockwell!’s defining song, was the cover’s aural analogue: “Hawaii just missed that fireball/LA is in flames it’s getting hot… Kanye West is blond and gone/Life On Mars ain’t just a song/I hope the livestream’s almost on.” But where do you go after burning America down? Did she know what was next?

“No,” says Del Rey lightly. “I felt totally fucked.”

YOU’D HAVE GOT LONG ODDS, IN 2012, on the internet phenomenon of the previous year’s Video Games becoming the decade’s most remarkable and provocative pop star. Back then, Lana Del Rey was more think-piece cipher than Boss-approved songwriter: “a young fiction,” sniffed the Los Angeles Times, “daughter of a domain-name magnate.”

The record states that Elizabeth Woolridge Grant was born in New York in 1985; as a baby, she moved with her parents upstate to Lake Placid. Music was around, but not unusually so. “From what I was told,” she says, “I sang verses before I spoke words, but I don’t think that necessarily meant I had to, or was going to be a singer.” Much else in her supposed biography, she says, is misinformation.

“People said I came from money,” she recounts. “It was really tough to get over some stigma of this idea of having my dad buying my album and giving me a record deal and us being some rich white family when we fought over money constantly when we were young.” Later, she says “I was not from the right side of the tracks, period.”

Sent to boarding school to address an alcohol problem – a period she captured in This Is What Makes Us Girls from her Born To Die album of 2012 – she “was made fun of mercilessly for being white trash. It was so hard, every minute of it was super-tough, not having come from Greenwich. Being super straight-edge in college was just, like, crazy. It’s been the road less travelled the whole time.” She has no interest, she insists, in properly telling her own story, “beautiful” though she says it is: “I don’t give a fuck about people knowing [mocking little voice] my inner thoughts as a third grader.”

Early detractors, chasing down a narrow idea of “authenticity”, were bothered by her musical prehistory – stalled experiments and false starts that might once have been called “paying your dues”. In 2006, she made Sirens under the name May Jailer, spindly alt-folk with a Linda Perhacs wobble that was never officially released. Her next ‘first’ album, Lana Del Ray AKA Lizzy Grant, was removed by her managers from the internet in 2010, preparing a clean slate for the post-Video Games era.

Yet as the plausibly deniable satire of Brooklyn Baby from 2014’s Ultraviolence indicates (“Well my boyfriend’s in a band/He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed”), she put in the hours on New York’s grottiest stages.

In 2008, Del Rey was living in the Manhattan Mobile Home Park in New Jersey. She would also take the light rail to record with producer David Kahne on Gansevoort Street in the Meatpacking District – sessions that would ultimately become her first EP, Kill Kill, and the since repudiated Lana Del Ray. She had a deal with David Nichtern’s 5 Points Records; Lady Gaga’s manager Bob Leone secured her some classes at the Songwriter’s Hall Of Fame; her senior year of metaphysics at Fordham was ending. Odd little paths opened up: she auditioned for Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, the musical scored by Bono and The Edge, and “maybe thought about Broadway. You’d get like a hundred dollars for singing background on records that would lead to nowhere. There was this company that emerged called The Orchard that was taking submissions for, like, toilet paper commercials and I probably did one, like, under a pseudonym. Definitely the happiest I’ve ever been. Stay in the middle, no dog in the race, people would even hire me for background stuff. I tried to act so cool on every sofa I sat at.”

It was only in 2010, when she met her current manager Ben Mawson at the CMJ Festival in New York’s Chinatown, that gears shifted and she glimpsed a significant future for herself: “Then I moved to London with him that week and he got me out of my deal that day.”

Success was not immediate. “I lived in a shitty flat with no heat, it was so awful – but they told me it was on Camden Road near where Amy Winehouse used to play at the Roundhouse, and I loved Amy.” Her voice softens dreamily. “I loved Amy.”

Fed up with trying to write songs for other people, one day she “just said ‘fuck it’” to her collaborator Justin Parker: “‘I’m going to write what I want to write now.’” In a Dolly Parton-style fit of productivity, within 72 hours she had Video Games, Born To Die, Blue Jeans and Ride.

On July 23, 2011, just under a month after Video Games appeared on the internet, Del Rey was on a train to Glasgow when Mawson told her she had received her first review. “I had 10 seconds of the most elated feeling,” she remembers, “and then the news everywhere, on all of the televisions, was that Amy had died on her front steps and I was like no. NO.” She breathes in sharply. “Everyone was watching, like, mesmerised, but I personally felt like I didn’t even want to sing any more.”

TEN SECONDS OF ELATION seems to be as much pleasure as Del Rey has ever taken from her press. When she covered Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood on 2015’s Honeymoon album, it was not casually chosen: anger at the way she feels she has been misrepresented surges through her conversation, despite the four billion streams, the four UK Number 1 albums, and the validation of famous fans from Stevie Nicks to Courtney Love.

Even Norman Fucking Rockwell!’s ecstatic reception was no antidote. “I knew they were going to like Norman… because there’s kind of nothing not to like about it,” she shrugs. “Norman…’s just cool, it’s easy to cheer for that.” She doesn’t, however, believe people are cheering for her: in September, she declared she still felt like an “underdog”.

“When I’m in London I’m reminded of what other people think of me in a great way. Being on the cover of MOJO – I fucking love MOJO. It’s crazy to me, crazy to me, crazy to me that I could be on the cover of MOJO but it’s a little different – ha! – over here,” she says, ie, in America. “I mean, I guess I’ll never forget my first four years of interviews. They just fucking burned me.”

There was the one where the journalist “made fun of me mercilessly, for like, five hours about how I adopted a New York City accent and that everyone knew it was fake, so just give it up. It was embarrassing – he humiliated me. So by the time he asked me about feminism, I said I just wanted to talk about aerospace travel.”

A 2014 Guardian interview headlined “I Wish I Was Dead Already” is another thorn in her psyche. “I didn’t say I wanted to die because of the 27 Club – I said I was having, like, a fucking hard time. The way people talk about mental health in 2020” – she makes the noise of an explosion – “mind blown. Talk about a different world compared with five years ago. You said anything remotely like you’re not feeling so good that day and it’s like, ‘Woah, you’ve set women back like 200 years.’ Or ‘Witch!’ It was super-hard to be a real person.”

Instead, Del Rey continued to build her musical world, creating a reality nobody could dismiss. ‘Evolution’ suggests dramatic Bowie-like shape-shifts; instead, her six albums have been a process of refining her core material – the palette of upcycled hip-hop, vintage Hollywood glamour and Laurel Canyon classicism. But Norman Fucking Rockwell!’s widescreen dazzle was a dead end of sorts – “I had to turn back inward,” she says – and Chemtrails Over The Country Club appears to reveal a more vulnerable Del Rey: lighter on the LA menace, more innocently emotional: “We did it for fun/We did it for free,” she sings sweetly on the song Yosemite, “we did it for the right reasons.” It’s an album that looks at the road ahead, but also, back to where she’s come from, making her strongest connection yet with her antecedents.

“I’ve been covering Joni and dancing with Joan,” she sings on Chemtrails…’ Dance Till We Die – and it’s all true. In October 2019, Del Rey duetted with Joan Baez on her 1975 song Diamonds And Rust at Berkeley’s Greek Theatre; a night of non-stop dancing with the 80-year-old folk hero followed. And as promised, Chemtrails… includes a Joni Mitchell cover from Mitchell’s 1970 album Ladies Of The Canyon. Reprising their October 2019 performance at the Hollywood Bowl, Del Rey shares the verses out with Arizonan singer-songwriter Zella Day and Weyes Blood’s Natalie Mering. A bittersweet commentary on the value of art, Mitchell contrasts her “velvet curtain calls” with a busker’s purity – it’s a song, says Del Rey, that means “everything” to her.

“The way things started off for me in the way I was portrayed was that I was feigning emotional sensitivity. I really didn’t like that,” she says coldly. “Because I didn’t even get famous ’til I was, like, 27 and until then, I sang for less than free. And I loved it. I really was that girl who was pure of soul. I didn’t give a fuck.”

For one, Natalie Mering doesn’t doubt Del Rey’s investment in For Free. “I think the verse that Lana sings – “Me, I play for fortunes” – it’s her story too,” she says. “She understands the ephemeral quality of music and that it can’t be completely commodified, even though she’s done such a great job of doing that. I think Joni is very similar.”

BAEZ AND MITCHELL, DEL REY says, are “like unicorns”. “Joan, Bob, Joni Mitchell, Jimi Hendrix, it’s less the albums and more the songs – the single perfect songs. Like Diamonds And Rust or Woodstock.” She rummages on You Tube to find a “staggering” 1962 coffeehouse performance from Baez. “I see a lot of people now wanting to be like other people – and hey, it’s not like I don’t want to be like other people too – but I think there were so many less options to look at in the ’60s, so you kind of just got what you got. You got a Janis or you got a Joan or you got a Jimi – it wasn’t like there was Jimi One, Jimi Two, Jimi Three. When I’m producing things alone, it’s impossible for me to sound anything other than a singer-songwriter. Actually, that’s not true,” she corrects herself. “I’ve got my own little ways about me.”

Mering, comparing Del Rey to Peggy Lee “if she was, like, I’m just going to write everything myself,” agrees. “She’s very free and she’s loose. What she goes for in terms of when she’s writing and working, it’s very magical and intuitive and it’s not very calculated – even though I think maybe she’s been accused of that in the past.”

That looseness – a willingness to wander – feels more present on Chemtrails… than previous albums, yet she insists it has been “so much harder than any other record I’ve made.” Covid separated her from Antonoff – also a collaborator with St. Vincent and Taylor Swift – in the final stages of recording and she missed him. “Everything that could be terrible is hilarious in Jack’s world. I think that’s why he does so well. It’s a rare quality for a man to have that softer kind of side – all hilarity and no inappropriateness.”

She says she finds listening to the new album “a fight”, conceding that she’s offering a pre-emptive critique. “It wasn’t so much that I thought the songs fantastically fit together with like seamless, sunkissed production – but you know, there’s a life lived in there.”

Del Rey has long used Los Angeles to colour and contour her songs. But Chemtrails roves further – Tulsa, Nebraska, Florida – a fitting backcloth for a record about freedom in a world where everything has a price. Not All Who Wander Are Lost – a song whose sky-high trill reminds Del Rey of “Cinderella in the movie where she’s holding the bluebird” – romanticises wanderlust. Wild At Heart and the title track (“I’m not unhinged or unhappy/I’m just wild”) hint at something untameable. If For Free is the record’s presiding spirit, you can also feel the vibrations of Mitchell’s Cactus Tree, a song that acknowledges the hard work of “being free” – shedding compromise, swerving control.

It’s a struggle Del Rey maps onto her folk and country influences, most explicitly on Breaking Up Slowly. A mournful lament riffing on Tammy Wynette and George Jones’s notoriously turbulent relationship, it was written with Tennessean singer-songwriter Nikki Lane, who supported Del Rey in 2019. In a hotel room, Lane mentioned that somebody told her she was “breaking up slowly”. Del Rey immediately sang “…is a hard thing to do”.

“One of the most incredible things about being around her is like, she is a song,” says Lane of Del Rey. “It’s just coming out of her at all hours of the day.”

They have written four more originals; there is also, says Del Rey, “a cover album of country songs” and one of “other folk songs”. Del Rey expects “scepticism,” but explains her father and uncle Phil Madeira (one of Emmylou Harris’s Red Dirt Boys) exposed her to country music in her youth. Her tastes are “stark and blue, somewhat outlaw”: Hank Williams, Bobbie Gentry, Patsy Cline, Wynette. “With a little Marty Robbins and Johnny Paycheck. I went back and listened to Ride [from 2012 EP Paradise] and Video Games and thought, you know, they’re kind of country. I mean, they’re definitely not pop. Maybe the way Video Games got remastered, they’re pop – but there’s something Americana about it for sure. So let’s see how these things come out – I’m not going to have pedal steel guitar on every single thing, but it is easy for me to write.”

A YEAR OR SO AGO, DEL REY attended a party with Jack Antonoff and St. Vincent at the house of Guy Oseary, manager of Madonna and U2. “Something happened,” she says, “kind of a situation like – never meet your idols. And I just thought, ‘I think it’s interesting that the best musicians end up in such terrible places.’ I thought to myself, ‘I’m going to try my best not to change because I love who I am.’ I said, ‘Jack, it’s dark.’ And he said, ‘Well, it’s dark – but I mean, it’s just a game.’”

The incident inspires a song on Chemtrails… Dark But Just A Game mixes Portishead, Ricky Nelson’s song Garden Party and Allen Ginsberg’s poem Howl (“The best ones lost their minds”) into a potent statement of defiance.

“Dark But Just A Game is so her to me,” Antonoff will tell MOJO: “fly down the rabbit hole and smile in the same breath.”

The game, however, takes its toll. As Del Rey talks, it frequently feels as if she’s dusting herself down from past humiliations, brushing off old slights.

“People are constantly inferring that I’ve done so much to myself, when I’ve never even been under anaesthesia or whatever,” she says unprompted, apparently still stung by 2012 speculations over the size of her lips. Occasionally, she makes grand statements: “I wanted music to change in the early 2000s and I wanted it to be better than it was. I think it is and I genuinely think I had a hand in it for female singer-songwriters.” They don’t land like shots from a weaponised ego – more the affirmations of someone who still feels as if she doesn’t say it, nobody will.

On a Chemtrails… song called White Dress she sings in a breathlessly rapt whisper of being “only 19”, working as a waitress, listening to The White Stripes and Kings Of Leon. “Look how I do this,” she sings with trembling innocence, “look how I’ve got this.” Then comes the fall: “It kind of makes me feel that I was better off.”

“I’m sure the grass is always greener,” Del Rey says, looking back on her waitressing days, “but I had a lot of fun dreaming about what was going to come next. Also, I really liked being of service and I still do – I do lots of little things in my spare time that put me back sort of in that service space. How I kind of grew up was to be a man amongst men and a grain of sand on the beach and I preferred to stay in the middle of the boat in that way. Sometimes I feel, with fame, it can put you on the peripheries, where the vultures can pick at you. It’s dangerous on the edges.”

“It’s not that I aspire to be the girl next door,” she says later, “but it’s just that I actually was and I think what some people don’t understand is that the girl next door has things going on, too. A lot of these other people who I see portraying that image are not that way at all – they’re like the biggest bitches who live in, like, insane mansions and who rip people off. This is not bitterness speaking at all. It’s literally just kind of just the facts, ma’am.”

In May 2020, Del Rey posted a “question for the culture” on Instagram. In it, she expressed her belief that artists including Beyoncé, Cardi B and Kehlani were applauded for portraying their sexuality in all its messy complexity, while she was accused of “glamorising abuse” in songs like Ultraviolence, where she quoted the title of The Crystals’ Goffin & King classic He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss). The culture’s answer was not sympathetic: Del Rey was held to account for appearing to single out artists of colour, and criticised for asking feminism to save a place for “women who look and act like me… the kind of women who are slated for being their authentic, delicate selves.”

“I wasn’t saying white like me,” she insists, emphasising that the women she mentioned are artists she loves. “I was saying people who are made a joke of like me.”

SHORTLY AFTER SPEAKING TO MOJO, Del Rey issues another pre-emptive social media strike, pointing out the new album’s artwork – a photograph of the singer surrounded by her friends – does feature women of colour. Three days after that, she posts a video railing against magazines suggesting she told Radio 1 DJ Annie Mac that she didn’t believe Donald Trump meant to incite the Capitol riot. In fact, she says, she was accusing him of sociopathy – a subject, she tells MOJO, she studied for six years, along with “psychopathy and narcissism and delusions of grandeur”.

“When Trump became President, I was not surprised,” she says, “because the macrocosm is the mirror of what goes on in our bedrooms. In our inner lives.

“A lot of the things I was writing [songs] about, people shamed me for,” she continues, “but I like to think now I was actually writing about what thousands of housewives were experiencing and no one ever said a thing from Brentwood to Boca Raton. I just dyed my hair black and talked about it and I got a lot of shit for it.”

She declares that “It takes a more dignified-looking person with a better reputation to call out the world, or the President or some guy who runs a restaurant. I’m going to be the person who corroborates that story, the blonde at the end of the bar… The reason why I can’t be a person who starts certain movements is because of what people have written that isn’t true. And that’s too bad – because I know a lot.”

Does she feel she’s been discredited?

“I was discredited for seven years,” she says, her voice rising so fiercely it’s briefly unclear whether she’s laughing or crying. “There’s no other way of looking it.”

In the poem SportCruiser from Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass, Del Rey wonders if learning to fly could help her navigate life, if learning to sail would show her which way the wind was blowing. Then she realises writing is all the adventure she needs.

“I certainly have to circumnavigate the globe quite a few times to come back to the fact that what I do is that I write, that I live here in LA, that I know who I am,” she says. “I think I’m very hopeful that I’ll feel more and more serene, because that is an objective for me. I just like the idea of waking up peacefully, rather than waking up in a sweat, throwing my feet down on the ground and being like, ‘Oh, what’s going wrong today!’”

Talking earlier about her whispery vocal on White Dress, Del Rey said it was not only close to unedited “journaling” but “also, not too afraid about being kind of stupid. The way I sound in the chorus – because I know it’s… not great, you know,” she laughs.

It sounds perfect for the song, though – trembling, awestruck. The voice of somebody on the brink of something. She agrees – not because it catches her teenage perspective, but because it speaks to her now.

“I actually said to a friend the other day I feel something brewing,” she says. “And that’s the first time in a long time. I have no idea what it is. But I know that it’s good.”

Originally published in the April 2021 issue of Mojo with the headline Wild at Heart.

[i-spaced-sorry]

Heart Rate

Connor Rhodes x Reader Requested: @kp9983 I was wondering if you’d write where reader works as a veterinary technician and passes out at work so shes brought into the ED and they page him down to check her out to make sure it’s not a heart issue (it can be something super simple) and when he’s listening to her heart it speeds up because he makes her nervous being so close cause he’s cute so he starts flirting with her?

Warning: hospital jargon 

Thank you for the request! I loved this idea and I hope I did it justice! This was also my first time writing flirting, so I hope it’s good!

It was never a struggle to get out of bed when the best boyfriend in the whole world, laid next to you! But for some reason today was extra difficult for Y/N. Chalking it up to just soreness from yoga from the night before, she finally lifted her body up and out from under the sheets. Sitting on her knees facing her pillow, she looked at the sleeping form next to her and smiled. ‘Today will be a good day’ you  thought to yourself and she finally got out of bed. 

Once in the bathroom, you pulled out some Motrin and popped a few tablets in. You then repeated the same mantra from earlier.

Getting ready for work was slow, for some reason everything ached and all you wanted to do was lie back down, but when you worked as a vet tech duty calls!

At work you saw your pet patients and loved every second of it. Your body still aches but how can you be in a sour mood when you're surrounded by animals all day. 

“Y/N, I’m going to order lunch from the Thai place that just opened up around the corner, want anything?” asked your fellow tech and best friend Andrea. 

Looking up from the desk, you smiled and responded, “I’m fine, I’m not really hungry, but thanks for the offer” 

“Okay,” replied Andrea as she grabbed her purse and headed towards the door. 

You waited til the door swung shut before pulling the drawer next to you open. You reached inside and grabbed the bottle of Motrin. You took two more tablets and then quickly threw the bottle back in the drawer and shut the drawer. 

Looking at the clock on the wall, it read 11:45am, ‘5 more hours Y/N. You got this! Today is going to be a good day’ you thought to yourself. 

At that moment the door swung open to reveal a female with her mountain cur feist dog.

Getting up to greet them, you all of a sudden felt a wave of dizziness wash over you and before you could utter the words, ‘good morning’ you hit your head on the desk and fell to the floor, unconscious. 

Waking up, you didn’t feel achy anymore and you felt yourself lean into the soft bed. ‘Did Andrea let you -’ 

Before you could finish your thought the curtain was pulled back and Dr. Ethan Choi was standing in front of you. 

“Y/N, glad to see you’ve regained consciousness. Do you remember what happened?” asked Choi.

“I was achy and then got dizzy, but I don’t remember passing out” you answered. 

As he began to check your vitals he spoke, “that’s okay, has this happened before?”

Stifling a laugh you respond, “What? Fainting? No”

Dr. Choi began to write something down on the tablet and then spoke to you, “You don’t have a concussion or anything, but I do want to get Connor down here to do an EKG to see if it had anything to do with your heart”

You nodded. You really didn’t think it was necessary for your boyfriend to have to look at your heart, but considering Connor was the top radiologist at Med, you weren’t complaining. 

“You sit tight,” stated Choi as he stepped out to call for Connor. 

“Today was supposed to be a good day” you whispered to yourself. 

“And it still will be,” exclaimed Connor as he pulled back the curtain and walked up next to you. 

“I don’t know why this is all necessary,” you pouted. 

Connor took his stethoscope and put it under your shirt. You felt your heart beating faster due to having your boyfriend's hand under your shirt. 

He stopped what he was doing and looked at you, “Y/N, I’m not going to be able to get an accurate read if your heart is beating faster than it was a few seconds ago” Connor stated. 

“It’s not my fault,” you shot back. 

Raising an eyebrow, Connor grinned, “Oh, so your telling me this raises your heart rate?” and he began to move his stethoscope around in circles under your shirt. 

Giggling, you stated, “Stop it Connor”

The two of you laughed for a good few minutes and then Connor got all professional again and stated, “I don’t hear anything, but I want to still do an EKG just to be on the safe side”

THANKS FOR READING! FEEL FREE TO REBLOG OR LIKE!

[sadlysoulx]

Haikyuu characters thinking you want to break up with them

part 1 (Atsumu& Sakusa)

Heyyyoo~ I'm sorry I haven't post in a while school's bad and it managed to get into my nerves without me going to the place itself plus i have now wifi so I have to connect to my dad's data☹️ Thanks for 33 followers😭💖!! Especially to my friend Mocha berry who supported me :)

Would be doing Tsukishima and Ushijima in part 2 ;)

⚠️Warning⚠️: swearing, not proofread

ATSUMU

"I really have enough!" Atsumu banged his fist down the table, making you flinch and take a step backwards.

"You are so fucking dramatic," he pointed at your shivering figure.

"I'm dramatic?" You asked hysterically. "I'm the ones who's dramatic?" You asked again, glaring back at Atsumu. "Open your eyes, 'tsumu! You're the one who made this into a bigger issue!"

"Me?!" Atsumu screamed back, finally making your tears fall down. "Y/N! If you weren't do clingy, this wouldn't happen!"

"Its not my fault that my boyfriend doesn't have time for me!" You fisted your hands.

"And this is fucking why I regretted to ask you to be my s/o!"

You stopped. Brain stopped functioning as you slowly let his words sink in, and to your despair, he didnt stop there.

"If you weren't my s/o, I would have a free life without you whining around like a kid," Atsumu was still shaking from anger.

"I would have the best life without you," he muttered.

More tears flowed down on your face.

"Fine!" You walked out the kitchen and into your shared bedroom, making sure you bang the door open.

You grabbed your bag and began stuffing down your clothes.

You heard loud and fast footsteps and in the corner of your eye, you saw Atsumu standing and peeking in the door, regret filled his eyes.

"Y/N—"

"If your not contented with me," you began as you take another bag and filled it with toiletries. "Then find another s/o, I wouldn't mind,"

You swung your bag over your shoulder and quickly breezed past him out the door.

"Y-Y/N!" 

Tears prick your eye since again as you quickly fumbled with your house keys and shakily tried to shove the the keys into the keyhole.

Atsumu grabbed your arm, trying to pull you to his chest.

"Y/N! Babe—"

"Don't fucking call me Babe!" You turned to him, new fresh batch of angry tears flowing down your cheeks. "Save that for your new s/o!"

You could see Atsumu's eyes turn glassy, his bottom lip trembling.

You successfully unlock the main door and you walked out of your apartment, striding down the hallway and waiting for the elevator.

Atsumu quickly followed you to turn annoyance, sniffles escaping his trembling lips constantly.

You hated seeing him hurt, especially if your the one who cause it. Imagining him with another person left a sour taste in your mouth.

But now that Atsumu said that he wished he wasn't your s/o, you knew that it wouldn't be long for him to find a new someone— if ever the both of you really make things over.

You distracted yourself by looking up the escalating red digital numbers that was labeled up the elevator doors.

In the corner of your eye, you see Atsumu opening and closing his mouth as if he wanted to say something but he couldn't. His hands hesitantly trying to reach out for you, his head hung low, tears dripping out of his red eyes pitifully.

The elevator doors finally opened and that's when Atsumu find his courage to talk to you.

"Y-you're really gonna leave me, aren't you?" He whispered softly, only loud enough for you to hear.

You stopped your attempt to walk in the elevator and stare aimlessly somewhere.

His sniffles and hiccups were getting worst. He was obviously trying to stop himself for crying.

You watch as the elevator doors close infront of you.

Turning to him, you saw his huge mascular figure shaking violently and his head still hung low.

"You are, aren't you?" He asked shakily again.

You dropped your bags and threw yourself to him, hugging him tightly.

He finally broke down, loud sobs echoing the empty hallway and hugging you back tightly.

"I'm never gonna leave you, 'Tsumu," You sobbed into his chest. "Never. . . I can't do that, I love you so much,"

"I'm so sorry, baby. . ." Atsumu sobbed into your hair. "Shit. . . I'm so sorry. . . I- I didn't mean what I said, I would never replace you– Fuck! Please forgive me baby. . ."

You let out a watery sob.

"H-hey, it's fine 'Tsumu." You looked up at his slightly swollen and wet but dreamy eyes. "I'm sorry for being dramatic," you giggled slightly.

He wiped your tears.

"It's fine baby," He smiled at you through his teary eyes, pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead. "I love you. . ."

"I love you more,"

He smiled, his eyes suddenly lighten up more.

"Hey, I found a really good movie in Netflix! It's a horror movie, let's watch it together!" He smiled down at you, gripping your hands.

"Okay! Let's watch it tonight!" you smiled up at him.

He smiled wider and cupped your cheeks, leaning down to kiss you.

Sakusa

Sakusa groaned. He stood up straight and made the mop lean towards the wall.

He scanned the living room all sparkling clean. Walking towards the couch, he plopped himself down, sighing in relief.

Sakusa having a bad day is an understatement.

The weather is bad, rainy and muddy outside, making their volleyball practice get cancelled for their own safety. Just today, when he woke up, he found that you weren't around. Sakusa had no idea where you went and it angers him that you didn't let him know. He waited for you and he spent his time cleaning the house and yet it has been an hour since you left.

And he hadn't have his breakfast and it made him more grumpier and more icy than ever.

Sakusa stood up and was about to go to the kitchen to eat on his own when the door opened, revealing you in muddy clothes.

"Hi babe!" You softly chuckled before breaking out in to a harsh and loud cough.

Sakusa flinched at that.

He observed you as you drop the plastic bags filled with what he assumed groceries.

He watched as you slowly walk into the living room, leaving a disgusting trail of wet puddles and mud.

Sakusa clicked his tounge.

"Y/N!" He frowned as you stopped in the middle of the living room, looking up at him. "I just mopped up the floor!"

"Oh, I'm sorry—"

"Save it Y/N. . ." He clicked his tongue in annoyance once more, picking up the mop again. You knew he was mad, and you tried not to worsen the mood more. "Look what you did!"

"Babe. . . I'm really—"

"I said save it!" He raised his voice higher making you shut up. "Where are you from?"

"I went to the grocery—"

"We still had a lot of food!" Sakusa pointed the way to the kitchen, eyebrows deeply furrowed.

"No, there isn't—"

"Shut up okay?!" Sakusa banged the mop on the floor harshly, you flinched. Tears threatened you.

He wasn't always like this and if he ever is, it wouldn't be a pleasant sight.

Sakusa run his hands through hair, tugging it stressfully.

"Go to the bathroom and clean yourself!"

You slowly slumped across the living room in the way to the bath.

"If you want to be part of this household, then make yourself useful. . ."

You turned around just as he finished whispering those words.

"What?"

Sakusa turned to you.

"I said 'If you—'"

You laughed, humorlessly.

"So you're saying I'm not useful?" You voice cracked with sadness.

Sakusa only stared at you with his stoic expression.

"That I'm worthless?" You pointed to yourself.

Sakusa frowned. "I didn't say that—"

"But you're making it sound like that!" You raised your voice, running your hands through your damp hair angrily and in stress.

"You're the one who's making it mean like that!" Sakusa exclaimed, slightly shaking from anger.

"I am your fucking s/o! And you have the audacity to insult me!"

Both of you argued on and on, the clock ticking away, voices getting louder than the last. You don't know when would this end and how.

Both of you were stubborn, both doesn't want to lose from the other.

Until, Sakusa had enough. He swiped the things away from the coffee table, making the fragile things on it shatter loudly, triggering the tears that sat on the edge of your eyes and fall down your cheeks.

"Would you shut it?!" Sakusa's cheeks glowed red.

"You're not telling me what to do!" You shouted back.

"You are so fucking stubborn!" His voice trembled. "You know what? I regretted to be with you!" He screamed shakily, pointing at your smaller figure.

Tears flowed down your cheeks more. You stepped up to him, you didn't care if you're still damp with rain.

"And you know what? I did too," you spat the words with venom and you saw Sakusa softened, guilt immediately swan in his eyes.

You immediately walked to the main door and Sakusa immediately followed, trying to string his sentence but it all ended up with a stutter mess.

"Y/N!" He called as you banged the main door close, you walked out the glass doors and you were immediately met with heavy rain pouring down your back harshly.

You didn't know where to go and you panicked when you hear Sakusa running to you from behind.

"Y/N!"

You tried to run away but he gripped your wrist, making you turn to him.

"Y/N. . . Please. . . please. . ." He grabbed your hands and clasped his huge hands around yours, looking at you with pleading eyes. "I didn't mean—"

You sobbed.

"Maybe it's better if you find someone new. . ." You tried to pry your hands away from his, in which you successfully did due to him staring at you in shock.

"What? No! I won't replace you!" He shook his head, making his now curly hair sway along with him.

He paused, guilt swimming at the pit of his stomach and his lungs, making it hard to think and breath.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

You looked up at him and you immediately spoke.

"I—"

"No,no,no,no," he chanted, tears swelling his own eyes. He held your hand as he let out a sob that he tried to keep in.

He knelt down still clasping your hands, looking up at you. Sakusa broke down, sniffles, hiccups and sobs escaping his trembling lips.

"No,no,no, please don't break up with me," he cried.

You cried with him as you knelt down beside your lovely boyfriend.

"Please don't, Y/N. . . I- I can do anything! Just forgive and stay with me—"

You peck his lips, making him shut up.

"I won't break up with you, silly boy," you went to his chest as he hugged you right, both of you crying hard and not really caring of you're out in the rain.

"I'm sorry," you sobbed.

"I'm sorry too," he sobbed back.

You pulled back and wiped his tears, and he did the same, which was useless since the rain was still drenching you both.

"Let's dance in the rain?" you wiggled your eyebrows at him as you let out a distorted laugh since your throat is still sore.

"That only happened in cringy romantic movies," he let out a watery laugh of his own.

Nevertheless, you both stood back on your feet and danced in the rain.

Whew! That was a trip, my finger really said ✨No✨ when I wanted to make another angst for an another character.

Thanks for reading this blog and likes and reblogs are appreciated ;)

I hope my likes won't go down for not posting in a while :(

FOLLOW FOR MORE

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Follow @xmochaberryx too😊

[buckys-black-dress]

i don't care, i'm in love

a/n: alright sexies, part two! of my last thing you guys liked! idk if anyone's noticed just yet but the titles are from tame impala's song 'new person, same old mistakes' because the song is fire asf. anyways. enough talking, here it is! enjoy! (sorry this took so long lol, i had no idea where i was going w this plot after part 1.)

warnings: penetrative sex, oral sex (f receiving), choking, cursing. this story is 18+ !!! tap off if you're a minor. this is your warning.

wc: 4k words

[bucky barnes x fem!reader]

read part one here!

-

It's been a few days since your outburst with Bucky in the kitchen. While you haven't made eye contact with him whenever you've been in the same room, you've practically felt his looks from across the room.

The air had definitely shifted in any room where you were both present. Nobody still knows about your past relationship, and you don't intend on telling anyone about it.

You've decided to let Bucky stew in silence, not allowing any leeway. If he wanted to be stubborn, this is where it would land him. He chose his own fate in the end, and now he would have to suffer the consequences.

And it was pretty awkward, to say the least. It was currently movie night in the Avengers Tower, and you were all in the movie theater. Tony had selected a rom-com tonight, as superheroes do. You were sat with Natasha on a loveseat, your legs swung over hers as your shared snacks were laid on your lap for the both of you.

She had, of course, noticed your change in demeanor since your impromptu break-up. You hadn't divulged in the details with her, not wanting to out the relationship. Even though you wanted to be petty as ever, you decided you were going to be the mature one in this situation.

And then Bucky walks in.

With a... another girl?

Maybe you weren't taking the high road after all.

You instantly feel a heat wash over your body, making you want to scream and cry and laugh in incredulity all at the same time.

What the fuck?

"Hey guys, I brought a date to movie night, if that's alright..." His voice sounded like nails on a blackboard to you right now. "This is Sophia."

He says it so simply that no one knows what to say. Everyone spares a glance at you, and for a second, you wonder if he had told anyone.

But everyone had somewhat of an idea that Bucky likes you!

So now, everyone was a bit confused.

"Uhm, yeah, nice to meet ya. Take a seat anywhere." Steve's voice cuts the suffocating silence.

You make brief eye contact with Bucky, but you look away as fast as you had looked in the first place. You felt like there was a golf ball lodged in your throat, and if you didn't stop yourself, you think you would've strangled that motherfu-

You're led out of your train of thought by a light tap on your arm. Natasha gives you a look that's saying, you look like you're about to kill someone. Are you okay?

You shake your head, letting her know you're just fine. Everything's fine. Bucky's over there, with another girl, who's holding his hand. And you've been here wondering for the past two months what's been so wrong about you that he couldn't do the same with you. Let alone even tell people you were in a relationship.

And you're not going to lie. This stung. Really bad.

Although you wanted to sit here and act as unbothered as possible, it was hard. You wanted to enjoy your night, watch your movie, and go to bed. This was a turn of events that you weren't expecting in the least.

The tension in the room was too much, everyone exchanging glances back and forth between you, Bucky, and Sophia. They were all confused. There was an obvious tension between you and Bucky, and although it was never anything serious to them, they all thought he would man up soon enough and ask you out.

Now, sympathetic looks were being shot across the room between all the team members, and no one could say really say anything.

Suddenly, Steve sits up in his seat and glares at his friend.

"Buck, can ya help me bring some snacks from the kitchen?" The blond asks, not waiting for a reply from the brunet.

Once they're safely out of earshot from the movie room, Steve grasps Bucky's shoulder in a tight hold that has Bucky wincing.

"What the hell, man?" His voice comes out strained and laced with confusion.

"Buck, I think I should be asking you that question." Steve says. "Don't play fuckin' dumb with me. You know what I wanna talk about."

"Well, please do enlighten me-"

"Oh would ya drop it? Sophia? I'm sure she's a great gal, but for the past six months you've been bitchin' and moanin' about Y/N." Steve cuts his friend off, trying to gauge the situation.

"I just... things went south. I needed somethin' new... somethin' different." Bucky's voice was meek, almost like he was afraid to admit this to his best friend of 90 years.

"What... whaddaya mean things went... south? Did you tell her you liked her and she rejected you or somethin'?" The blond asks, brows pulled together in confusion.

"I just... I can't really explain to you what happened but... it was bad. I fucked up, Stevie." Bucky's head is still tilted downwards in guilt.

"Buck, you know you can tell me anything, right?" A hand is placed on his shoulder, and he wants to shrug it off, I don't deserve any comfort, he thinks. I did this all by myself.

"Can I just... I'll tell you. But you can't tell anyone. Especially Tony or Nat. Or Wanda." Steve gives him a brief nod, motioning for Bucky to go on.

"Y/N and I had been... seeing each other for the past two months..." Bucky starts to explain, and Steve's eyes are jut about popping out of their sockets by the time he finishes explaining.

A few moments pass, and silence soaks the air surrounding them.

"You... you two were dating... in secret? You didn't tell me?" The look Steve gave Bucky made the latter's insides twist in the worst way possible. He should've told his best friend.

"Steve, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. We agreed to keep it between us until... "

"Until she decided she'd had enough."

"Yeah."

A pregnant pause and flat face followed, and flat face followed, and Bucky's now realizing how much he's fucked up. Not in the first place, per se, but by bringing Sophia here.

"So can you tell me why you've dragged that poor girl here?" Steve breaks the silence first.

"I-I... I met her at a bar a couple nights ago. Needed to get out, have a drink. She came up to me and asked me for my number, and... yeah."

What Bucky didn't explain is that as soon as she started talking to him, she had immediately realized he was painfully in love with someone else. She had been kind, understanding of his situation. Instead of trying to get in bed with him, she sat down with him while he explained to her how he got himself in this mess.

"You know... I can help you..." Sophia tells him with innocent eyes.

"Really? How?" Bucky's tone was incredulous, like the mere idea of doing something about this whole thing was possible.

"Well, she seems to care about you a lot. But maybe you just need to get a... reaction out of her. She's unbothered now, she says she 'moved on.' Show her she hasn't." She explains.

"But...how?"

And thus... this situation was born.

"So... Sophia has absolutely no interest in you, and you brought her here to make Y/N jealous?" Steve looks at his friend like he has three heads, and Bucky now realizes just how dumb this all looks.

"Well... yeah. This was a bad idea, wasn't it? I should just go take Sophia home-"

"No! You already got this far, and if you do that it might give Y/N the wrong idea. Just- just go with it for the rest of the night and see what happens." Steve says. "Now, let's get the snacks."

Bucky helps him, and they head back into the movie room. He notices your tense form against Natasha. Sophia's making conversation with Sam, and if you were in a cartoon, you're sure there would be steam coming out of your ears.

The movie goes by in a blur, and even though your eyes were glued to the screen, you feel like you didn't even watch the movie. You were too busy being hyperaware of the way Sophia held onto Bucky's arm like if was her lifeline, and quite frankly, you wanted to punch the living daylights out of the both of them.

Once the movie's finished and the lights turn on, you waste no time in heading to your room after a quick goodnight to everyone.

You're getting ready for bed with slams of closet doors and dresser drawers, absolutely enraged with everything. Why was this bothering you so much? But more importantly, how was Bucky so quick to move on? Like you were nothing to him? Like you were the dirt under his shoe?

And although you were too proud to say it, it stung like a motherfucker.

Before you could get ahead of yourself, a knock is coming from your door.

You're sure it's Natasha trying to make sure you're alright, but after months of acting unaffected, all you wanted to do was get under your covers and cry.

"Nat, I'm sorry but I'm really not in the mood-" But when you swung the door open, it was none other than your ex-boyfriend."What the hell are you doing here?"

Your tone was venomous, and all Bucky could see was the tiredness and rage behind your irises.

"I- Can I talk to you?" His voice is timid, like he's afraid to even ask for your time.

"About what? Don't you have someone to tend to?" You wonder out loud, and you can't help the way your heart twists at the thought of Bucky and Sophia. The way he had no problem holding her, touching her, loving her.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, Y/N."

It even hurt to think that.

"What do you want, Barnes?" You query in an indifferent tone.

"I-I waned to talk to you, alone." He responds, and his palms are sliding down his thighs to wipe off the sweat.

"Don't you have to take your date home?"

He was quiet for a moment, trying to gauge how to handle you right now. One wrong word or move, and he was out.

"Y/N, can I please just talk to you? One night we're sleeping in each others' beds, and the next we're strangers? How- how does that even make sense?" He's trying to make sense of the past few weeks and the events that led up to the demise of your relationship.

He knows, but he doesn't want to say it out loud.

"Well, I wonder who's fault that was?" You ask snarkily.

Apparently, you weren't afraid to say it.

"You were the one that did this. I get it. This was new for you, but at some point, enough was enough! I- I was basically dirt under your shoe, James! I- I couldn't fucking take it anymore! I just- you were so easy with Steve and Natasha. And then you would shake me off like I was some pest, some bug." You choked on your words, tears pricking behind your eyes. You turned away before Bucky could see them, not wanting to let him see you like this.

You've put on a tough front, because you didn't want anyone to think that you'd get so hung up over some boy, but it was hard to do so when you were giving your all into a relationship while you got the bare minimum back.

Bucky watches you from your doorway, and as you turn away, he takes this as a sign to come in and shut the door behind him.

"Y/N, please, let me talk. I-I just need to talk. To get it all out. I'm begging you, please." And beg he did. He was on the floor, quite literally on his knees. You couldn't even comprehend how not even an hour ago, he brought a new girl in.

And now he was on his knees before you. Begging.

"Get up."

Your voice cracked, but it was still strong. You weren't in the mood to have a man beg at your feet, and you felt it was quite pathetic that he was on his knees right now when he's the reason you two had ended up like this.

Whatever this was.

"O-Okay. Does that mean I can talk?" He asks tentatively, rising to his feet slowly.

"You have five minutes."

He was quiet at first, and you wondered if he even had anything to say. If he was just here to waste your time, to cause even more heartache-

"I- Can I just start off by saying, in the almost three months we were together, I never, ever, wanted to make you feel anything less than what you really are. You're kind, caring, beautiful, the smartest person I've ever met. But above all those things, you were patient with me. And that was never something I had before with someone else. No one was as patient and as attentive as you were, and I need you to know." He pauses, catching his breath from his rambling.

"Know what?" Your tone was venomous, trying to hold back the tears prickling behind your eyes.

"That I have dreamt of a girl like you for decades. You are everything-" he chokes on his words, eyes glossing over, "everything I've ever wanted, and more. And I can't tell you how sorry I am for the way I treated you. How I made you feel, and how I felt the need to hide us. I should've just been honest with everyone from the start, and it cost me everything in the end. So I'll spend the rest of my days making it up to you, in any way possible. Because you deserve it. You deserve so much better than someone who- who doesn't know how to love. How to hold your hand and not want to cry because he feels like he doesn't deserve it. You deserve the entire universe, Y/N."

Bucky finishes speaking, looking so deeply into your eyes that you can't help but let the facade crack.

Tears are leaking out of the corners of your eyes. You sniffle, trying to take a deep breath.

"Wh-what about... Sophia?" You struggle to ask through your emotions, trying to hold yourself back from flinging yourself into his arms.

"I- She's... not relevant. I met her at a bar the day we... ended things, and she said 'it was clear I was going through a heartbreak,' and that she wanted to help me get you back." Bucky laughs a bit at the whole situation now, and how fucking badly he had fucked up.

"But if you don't want to get back together, I understand. Just know, I still feel the same. But if you give me another chance, I promise you it'll be different. I promise to spend all my time making it up to you, and I don't want to hide anything about us. To anyone." He affirms, moving to hold your hands in his.

And surprisingly, you didn't pull away.

No matter how much your brain was screaming, yelling to pull away!

But you couldn't. You wanted to believe every word that came out of his mouth, and you didn't care if anyone thought you were being naive or stupid. You just wanted to hold him again, to call him James again, and to have him whisper sweet nothings in your ears.

And as all these thoughts were running through your head, you see Bucky slowly backing away, assuming your silence meant you were telling him to leave.

"I-Wait. Wait. We have a- a lot to talk about, but I'm not giving up on us yet. But I want a full explanation, top to bottom about everything. And- you have to promise me things will be different between us. We can't have things like they were before, and-"

And before you could continue your rambles, you were stopped by the feeling of his lips on yours.

You could feel his rough ones moulding against your soft, cherry-flavoured ones from your lip balm. His eyes were closed, and so were yours. Any thoughts you had were thrown out the window, and all you could focus on right now was him.

He was invading all your senses in the best way possible. In this moment, you realized he was being completely honest and truthful in what he'd said earlier. Of course, you wouldn't let him forget about all this so easily, but right now, all that mattered were his hands running all over your waist and neck.

"J-James," you breathed out, disconnecting from him.

His eyes search yours, wondering if this is where you give him the boot, and tell him to leave it at this.

But oh, was he wrong.

"Lock the door for me?"

His mouth is akin to that of a fish out of water, wondering to himself if his brain was conjuring this image in his head after weeks of not having you.

"A-Are you sure? If you don't want to we don't have to-" And now he's the one getting cut off with your lips.

It had been enough suffering for the both of you these past few weeks.

"James, I'm sure. Help a girl out?" You smile coyly, slowly walking backwards until you reach your bed and sit down. Your eyes stay on James' blue ones while he rushes to lock to door.

He's hovering over you, waiting to see if you'll make a move.

"Well, aren't you gonna fuck me?"

At those words, the man above you snaps out of his stupor, and lets out an animalistic growl, lunging at you and making both your bodies fall back onto the fluffy white duvet of your bed.

"Can I take this off of you?" James hands are pinching at the fabric of your t-shirt, and you fervently nod in response.

"Words, honey." He coaxes and receives a meek but clear 'yes' from you.

He wastes no time slipping it off your form, only breaking apart from you for air to do so.

Soon enough, your panting forms were both almost bare, left down to just underwear. James slowly moves to settle himself between your thighs, but your hand catches onto his wrist before he could move any further.

"You don't have to, James. I want you inside me already." Although you usually never complained about getting head, you were aching to feel him inside you.

"C'mon angel, I've missed how your sweet lil' pussy tastes." The words coming out of his mouth combined with the feeling of the small pecks he's placing against your inner thighs have you practically shaking.

Along with his scruff giving the sensitive skin a delicious burn, you couldn't bring yourself to say no to James.

He guides your soaked panties down your legs, placing your calves against his shoulders to hold them open.

"Mmm, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to have my mouth between these legs again, sugar. Missed ya so much." He mumbles to you, licking a broad stripe up your core.

A gasp leaves your mouth, and you scramble to find something to grab onto.

With one hand in his brunet locks, Bucky continues his ministrations. He alternates between using his tongue and sucking on your sensitive button, building up your climax.

James listens to your small gasps and whimpers, paying attention to what brought you the most pleasure.

"Oh!" You let out a whimper at the feeling of Bucky's fingers hitting your sweet spot inside you.

Before you knew it, the throbbing in your heat was spreading all through your body, causing your first earth-shattering orgasm of the night.

You're chanting James over and over again, like a prayer.

"That's it, sweetheart, give it all t'me." He coaxes you through your high, allowing for you to come down.

Your eyes are bleary and you barely sense James coming back up over you. His fingers are opening your mouth, allowing you to taste them.

"Taste yourself, honey. So sweet, missed havin' you." He leaves pecks on your forehead, nose, and cheek, before circling back to your mouth when he pulls his fingers back out.

When he pulls away again, his nose is brushing against yours. You still feel like you're floating, but you open your eyes slowly to be met with his bright cerulean ones.

"You have a condom?" James' voice is gravelly as he speaks against your lips.

"No, I'm clean and still on the pill. Wanna feel all of you." You whisper while your fingers roam through his locks.

"A-Are you sure?" He asks, trying to ignore the involuntary twitch of his cock at your words.

"I'm sure, James. I've never been more sure of doing anything with anyone." You say, letting your hand move down to his boxers.

Your hand dips into the waistband, grasping him with your palm.

"Wanna feel all of this." You barely speak, but he understands every word you say.

Before you know it, his underwear is off and thrown somewhere across the room.

James sits back, running his cock through your juices for lubrication, eliciting a sigh from the both of you.

"Fuck, I missed you so much, doll." He grits out while he pushes into you slowly. "Can't believe I was so stupid and almost lost ya for good."

"I-I'm right here, baby. You won't ever lose me." You reassure him, letting him fill you to the brim.

"God, can't get enough of this tight pussy, baby." James is thrusting at an even pace now, and you can feel every inch of him inside you.

You release moans of ecstacy and pleasure in his ear as he stays above you, and while you're only half-conscious of what you're doing, you grab his metal arm and bring it to your throat.

His eyes shoot open but his pace never falters, looking at you for silent reassurance.

The white-hot feeling in your core builds at the feeling, not wanting it to stop.

"You sure?"

"Yes, please." All he needed was your whimper to moan at the sight of his hand around your throat.

"H-Holy shit. I- Come with me baby, c'mon." His voice is strained, like it's paining him to speak.

"I'm- I'm coming James. Come with me, baby." You gasp out, feeling the stirring in your belly reach its' peak.

Soon enough, you're both coming undone, breathing into each others' mouths while working through your highs together.

You feel him spurting inside you, painting your walls white. His rocking slowly comes to a stop, allowing him to open his eyes and focus on you. Your thumbs are brushing over his cheekbones, soaking in him just being here, with you.

"C'mon, let me get you cleaned up, angel." James slowly pulls out of you, being careful to not hurt you.

You see the light flicker on in your bathroom and hear the sink running. He returns with a rag and brushes it gently between your legs, feeling you shiver at how sensitive you are.

"Sorry, honey." James' whisper comes from below, and you smile down with soft eyes.

You were completely besotted for this man.

Once the rag is thrown into your laundry hamper, Bucky retrieves his boxers and pulls them on.

For a moment, you feel a flash through your body, your heart seizing at the thought of him leaving now.

"A-Are you leaving?" You barely recognize your own voice, feeling pathetic for feeling so vulnerable.

Bucky just looks at you. He's dumbfounded at you right now. How could you think that after everything, especially after what had just happened, that he would leave you. How he could ever let you go again.

And again, the question is just another painful reminder of how much he's hurt you.

"No, sweetheart. Just wanted to grab a shirt for you to sleep in." He gives you a soft smile, quenching the ache of your heart.

Once he sits you up and slips the large shirt over your frame, he slips back into his spot next to you under the duvet. Your legs immediately tangle with his, head on his shoulder and arm thrown across his torso.

"Never gonna let you go again, honey." He tells you, placing a kiss to the crown of your head.

"Love you, James." You mumble in a half-asleep response into his chest, the words reverberating into his skin.

Bucky hopes you don't feel his heart racing, but replies with the same words that you hear before slipping into a deep slumber. And the last thing you hear before you slip under are the sweetest words to ever be spoken.

"I love you more, Y/N."

[nymphbnny]

perfect strangers

MINORS DNI // 18+

part one; part two; part three

genre: nsfw // fluff

pairings: jean kirschtein x female reader

word count: 4k

tags/warnings: slow burn (?), penetrative sex, dom jean, praising kink, slight breeding kink, oral sex (male receiving), fluff, confessions, cute jean (yes this needs a warning) cheesiness.

synopsis: you discover something jean has been keeping for himself and it ends up adding all the puzzle pieces together.

a.n: i don’t usually add songs for you to listen to while reading my work, but if you want to get in the mood stream Last Days Of Summer by Summer Walker. thank me later.

i would also like to add that this was meant to be a short series. i got other fan-fiction ideas and need to answer some of your requests. also, i know this part is kind of cheesy but jean is a big softie i can’t help it.

“Connie, what’s taking you so long?” I yelled from our porch, swirling my car keys around my finger. I heard more shuffling coming from our apartment before Connie rushed out, Jean following him, throwing his hoodie on, covering the shirt that was squeezing his muscles.

“I was looking for my dab pen,” he took a hit and blew the smoke in my face. I coughed pushing his shoulder making him miss the step and almost colliding with the ground. I snickered and walked past Jean to my car door before he grabbed my arm and pushed me back.

“Passenger seat babe.” he looked down at me with his lazy smile. I scoffed swatting his arm away, only to be lifted from the ground. “Jean you prick!” I yelled moving my legs around.

“And I’m the kid.” Connie laughed getting in the backseat, clearly not suspicious of his homie’s behavior. I sighed getting into the passenger seat and crossed my arms.

Jean mirrored my action, before cussing, as he felt squeezed by how tiny the space was. “Damn aren’t you a small thing?” he teased backing up the seat so he could feel more comfortable. He smacked my thigh making my eyes widen. I looked down to see him holding out his hand, motioning me to give him the keys. I rolled my eyes and slammed them down his hand. He chuckled before shaking his head and mumbled something underneath his breath.

He wrapped his arm around my seat, tilting his head backward, putting the car in reverse, and slowly drove back. He winked at me before he shifted gears. The car ride was basically Connie singing out loud to songs and Jean casually joining in, their interaction reminding me of Hitch and I.

After what happened last night, I texted the girls’ group chat and told them everything that happened and how Jean was suddenly becoming more and more possessive which was honestly uncalled for. If I want to overthink it, he was always somewhat flirtier with me than he was with any girl when we used to hang out back in the day. However, Sasha and Mikasa didn’t elaborate much into it as they told me to shrug it off, whilst Hitch was rather excited about me having a ‘sneaky link’.

And honestly, I’d be lying if I said he didn’t turn me on… I mean look at him. He’s at least 6 feet tall with sexy sleeve tattoos and a gorgeous mullet. His stubble fit him perfectly and his jaw was sharp. He looked so different and delicious.

“We’re here!” Connie shouted into my ear, shaking me off of my thoughts. Jean had already parked and was taking his seatbelt off. I followed his gesture and got out of the car, carefully closing the door behind me, Connie already outside taking a few hits of his dab pen. Our gaze locked, his lips instantly forming into a smile as he threw his arm around my shoulders and brought my head closer to his lips, kissing my temple. I grinned wrapping my hand around his torso and leaned my head on his shoulder.

I was lucky to have a brother like him. He always made sure I was okay and had everything I need and wanted. He was my support system and I couldn’t ask for more. “All good?” he mumbled, tilting his slightly towards Jean who was typing something on his phone, probably waiting for us before going into the diner.

I nodded and he squeezed my arm. “Come on, let’s go inside, the weather is chilly today.” Jean held the door open as we walked in and spotted an empty table. It was connected to a couch, two other chairs placed on the opposite side of the table.

I sat on the couch, my back relaxing into the soft red leather, before feeling the seat dip next to me. I tilted my head, only to be met with Jean’s cocky expression. Connie managed to sit on one of the chairs and tapped his fingers on the wooden table. “Y’all in the mood for burger and fries?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking starving,” Jean stated leaning back into his seat, spreading his legs. I nodded and took out my phone from my pocket setting it on the table. We called over for the waitress and placed our orders. “I forgot to ask you, how are your studies going y/n?” he added, dropping his head on his fist that rested against the wood and looked at me. Connie rested his elbows on the table, intrigued by the conversation.

“I’m doing good actually. I still have some things to get done and I’ll finally have some free time for myself. I honestly can’t wait until I’m done with this semester. It’s so tough and for what.” I whined, dropping my head against my crossed arms. His hand wrapped around my shoulder and pushed me towards him, my head colliding with his chest. Taken off guard, my arms wrapped around his torso. “Aw, come on you’ll do great, you got nothing to worry about.” he patted my head and gently stroked my hair. I blushed at his move, my stomach forming a knot. He was being extremely soft and gentle and I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't surprising.

“Here you go.” the waitress cheered placing our food down. She eyed Jean before averting her gaze from him as he pushed me closer to him, my head closer to his chest. I breathed into his cologne and managed to hear his heartbeat. Fast. His heart was beating so fucking fast.

Connie didn’t seem to mind as he laughed at his phone before turning it to Jean, showing him the picture of a half-naked model showing off her ass, a man who looked to be her boyfriend standing next to her. “Baldie I’m still here.” I scrunched my face. “Although the dude is kinda hot,” I added. Once the following words left my lips, Jean’s hand swiftly moved down my ass to grab it, making me slightly jump. I looked up to see him glaring down at me then looked back at Connie’s phone. Did this just happen?

“Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” He cocked his eyebrow making Connie roll his eyes. “Man you used to like it when I showed you pictures like that." he shook his head locking his phone. He stayed silent for a few seconds before pointing at Jean with a big grin. "Oh my god, you are seeing someone!” he whispered.

I removed myself from Jean’s grasp and adjusted my clothes as I dived into my food, enjoying the warm feeling down my throat. “Nah dude, although I must admit that I've been thinking nonstop about someone lately,” he confessed taking a bite of his burger, Connie doing vulgar movements with his hands before he did the same.

“Jesus Connie,” I whined throwing a fried potato at him. “We’re eating.”

“Um, excuse me?” He scoffed as Jean laughed, muttering a small 'here we go', obviously aware of what my brother was about to say next. “The Jean Kirschtein I know doesn’t catch feelings. This dude is a damn sex machine. Which I can relate to but you know what I’m saying." he raised his hands up. "Now tell me, who got you so wrapped around their fingers you can’t even flirt with other women now?” He paused before adding, “ And don’t think I forgot how you pushed off that girl who tried to grind on you two days ago at the club.” I frowned, all of this not making any sense to me. How could he be sleeping with me but seeing someone else at the same time?

I felt sick, my fingers dropping the sauce I was about to pour on my fries as I excused myself to the bathroom. I made my way into the small area and looked at my reflection. I felt dirty. I felt used. Was I going to wreck a whole relationship? Or whatever he calls it.

The door swung open minutes after, revealing Jean. He had a serious expression on his face as he approached me, my ass now pressed against the sink, his tall frame towering me.

“Why’d you leave?” he questioned moving my hair from my face, cupping my cheeks. “I wanted to wash my hands,” I replied trying to free myself from his grasp but miserably failed. I frowned as I tried to push him away again, but his hands grabbed my wrists holding them down. “I don’t believe you, I think you got jealous,” he smirked, his lips inches away from mine. I glared at him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction he was seeking.

“Jean let me go. Someone might walk in and Connie is waiting for us outside, also, the food won’t stay hot for long and I want to-“

“I was talking about you silly.” he interrupted me, his thumb now rubbing my bottom lip. “You’re so fucking gorgeous it’s unreal,” he mumbled. “Can I kiss you?”

What was happening… I stared into his eyes that were focusing on my lips. Could he be telling the truth? What if he just wants to get in my- oh wait, he already did… Fuck that was so overwhelming.

“Jean I don’t think it’s a good idea-“

“Yes or no?” I thought for a moment before softly nodding. “I need to hear it.”

“I want you to kiss me…” I whispered almost as if I didn’t want anyone to hear me, including him. I’ve always felt different around Jean and I never knew why, at least until now. He smiled lifting my head up with his finger under my chin, his lips resting against mine gently. My hands gripped onto his hoodie, kissing him with much passion.

I felt safe. I felt good. I felt content.

“You got my heart working overtime, y/n.” he confessed. I wasn’t able to process everything as it all felt like a fever dream. What if I just wake up and it turns out to be a dream. Did he just confess that he likes me in a diner’s restroom? My heart was beating so fast, my thoughts furiously rushing through my brain.

After Jean left to study in France, we never kept in touch. It is true that we used to be friends because of his friendship with Connie and it always felt different from my other friendships with other men like Eren or Reiner, but the distance and the lack of communication turned us into strangers and killed the ‘connection’ that was bonding us. I thought it was just a tiny teenage crush, but ever since he came back, everything returned to the way it used to be.

“Connie is probably getting worried about me.” I said making him let go of my grasp, his eyes still holding the same expression as before. I made my way out of the restrooms and slid my hands into my pockets. “Hey, I was about to follow you, you good?”

“Absolutely.” I smiled at him and sat back down taking small bites of my food.

“Y/n, you know you can talk to me about anything right?” he took a sip of his soda looking at me worryingly. “Of course, I’m fine really.” I reached out to squeeze his hand. A few minutes went by and Jean was back on the table with us. We jumped from a conversation to another, casually laughing as we brought back the old days.

Connie proposed to drive back and we didn’t mind since we both fell full from the food. Jean sat in the passenger seat as I lead down on the backseat, texting the girls every single detail of what happened today. It didn’t take them long to start bombarding me with replies.

‘Holy fuck he said what now? He’s fucking WHIPPED.’

‘I did hear him saying something about a girl when we hung out with Connie four days ago but I would have never thought that it would be about you…’

Seriously Sasha? I sighed and locked my phone dropping it on my chest. It didn’t take us long to arrive at the apartment we were now sharing with him.

***

I dropped on my bed, stripped down naked as my blanket was the only material covering me. I thought about what Jean told me back in that diner. I sighed closing my eyes. As I was almost about to fall asleep, my phone chimed on my nightstand.

I reached out to grab it, the message showing on my lock-screen making me open wildly my eyes.

-jean

you up? if you are, can i come into ur room?

I hesitated, my fingers hovering over my keyboard, occasionally typing something then deleting it.

-me

why? wassup?

It didn’t take him long to text me back.

-jean

i can’t sleep and i want to talk to you

I sighed typing a simple ‘okay’ and got up to put a shirt on. I heard a light knock on my door as I slid on the fabric, my hand reaching out to turn the doorknob.

“Hi,” I stepped aside, indicating him to come in before carefully closing the door. He sat on my bed and tapped on the mattress. I sat next to him and waited for him to talk about whatever he’s been wanting to get off his chest.

“About what I said earlier, uhm,” he cleared his throat.

“If you’re here to say that you didn’t mean it, you could have said it over text.” I assumed raising my eyebrow. It wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened to me and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with any bullshit, especially after getting my feelings mixed up. If he was about to mess around, I should do the same and ignore whatever I was feeling, hoping it would fade away over time.

“No, why would I do that?” he frowned and looked at me weirdly. Oh well, spoke too soon I guess. “I just wanted to make sure I didn’t make you uncomfortable. Listen y/n,” he paused searching for the words. “I don’t want you to think I’m doing this to get laid. We made an agreement and if I just wanted to have sex with you I wouldn’t have said anything about well, liking you.”

I stayed silent waiting for him to finish. The moonlight was the only source of light in the room as it peeked through my window. It was quite peaceful. “I think, no, I know I’ve liked you for a while. I never acted on it because your brother once threatened me jokingly about messing me up if I hurt you, and regarding the person I used to be, I would have most probably ended up hurting you and because of that, I decided to sleep on whatever I was feeling and hoped I'd move on from it. But holy fuck you and grew into such a smart and beautiful woman, I couldn’t help but let my feelings for you emerge again.” He cupped my cheek with his hand bringing me closer.

Fucking hell someone pinch me right now, I must be dreaming.

“However if you don’t like me back, or don’t want to hook up with me anymore, I’d totally understand.” I stared at him as I felt like I was looking at a different person. Now I get why Connie was so surprised when he heard Jean talking like that back at the diner. That wasn’t the Jean I was used to, or at least the Jean he became when he left for college. I wasn’t familiar with this new character development if I might call it.

“Why… why are you telling me all of this now?” I whispered, shifting in my seat to sit closer to him, our knees slightly brushing against each other. He brought his hand around the nape of my neck and pulled me closer to him. “You got my mind going crazy.” and with that, I pressed my lips against his, instantly feeling his lips kiss me back.

I straddled his lap and slid my tongue between his lips, our kiss sloppy and slow. His hands moved down to grip my ass, pushing me further to him, my bare cunt brushing against the soft fabric of his shorts. A moan escaped my lips as he gripped the hem of my shirt, lifting it, my nipples exposed to the chilly air. "Wait..." I pulled away and rested my hands on his chest. "We're gonna have to tell Connie."

He smiled and reached out to kiss me again. "First thing tomorrow. I don't think your brother is that oblivious anyway." he chuckled and squeezed my hips. I laughed, bringing his face closer to mine kissing him gently.

Our make-out session became more urgent ad rushed. Jean lied back, his hands resting on my waist as I took off my shirt. His hands reached out to grab my breast, fondling it with his big hand. My hips moved against him, the feeling of wanting to be filled by him becoming unshakeable. Removing myself off his hips, I crawled down and pulled down his sweats along with his briefs, his erection slapping against his stomach. I smirked at him as I began pumping his length, soft groans escaping his lips. I swirled my tongue over his tip and slit before sliding him down my throat, coating him with my spit. "Shit," his hips bucked forward, his cock going deeper down my throat. I started bobbing my head, my tongue running over his underside, feeling the pulsation of his prominent vein. Our eyes locked, his mouth agape and his chest slightly rising from his deep breathing. His hand fell on his eyes as he threw his head back, his fat cock now throbbing.

“Y/n, ah, fuck-“ he hissed grabbing a fistful of my hair and guided my head. I knew he was close and it made me wet as well. My fingers were already rubbing circles on my sensitive bud, my climax as close as his. I removed his dick from my mouth and straddled his lap. I aligned him to my entrance and slowly sunk onto him, sighs leaving both of our lips.

He felt insanely deep within me, his size stretching perfectly. I rested my hands on his chest as I ground on him, his hand lacing around my neck to bring me closer to him, his lips capturing mine in a passionate kiss. His tongue slipped in my mouth as his hand made their way to my ass, squeezing my cheeks and moving me upwards. I moaned into his mouth, my nipples brushing against his chest. I sat back up, my hands prompted back on his chest as I bounced my ass on him.

“Ride my cock baby just like that.” he moaned out. We were both already close to our orgasm, the sensitivity sending us off the edge. “You ride me so good, but-“ he sat up pushing me off him. “I want to fuck it in you,” he smirked pulling me off the bed and walking me to the wall, my back pressed against it. He wrapped his arms underneath my thighs and lifted me up, my legs snaking around him.

“Now stay quiet while I stuff you eh?” he breathed, pushing his tip inside me before thrusting his hips forward, almost hitting my cervix. My face hid in the crook of his neck, doing my best to silence my moans. My back moved against the cold wall, his whimpers and moans growing louder in my ear.

I shut my eyes close when he began rolling his hips faster, my orgasm rushing through my body. “Jean…” I whimpered tugging on his hair, my heels digging in his back. My arm was wrapped underneath his, my fingers scratching his back. I clenched around him making him hiss and fuck me harder, indicating that he was also close to reaching his climax.

“You wanna come with me?” I nodded staring at him with half-lidded eyes. “Yeah…” I mumbled out, biting down on my lower lip to keep quiet. “Yeah?” he mocked with a smirk before he started kissing my neck, occasionally leaving small bites next to my collarbone.

I wrapped my arms tighter around him, my thighs shaking as my orgasm ripped through me. He quickly followed ropes of cum shooting inside me. He whimpered, stroking himself a little bit more before pulling out and carefully putting me down. As soon as my feet touched the floor, his semen began leaking out of my opening down my leg.

“Well shit better clean that.” he ran his fingers up my legs before pushing his cum back in me making me gasp. “You’re good now,” he smirked before lifting me off again, this time in bridal style as he walked me to the bed, carefully putting me down. “I would’ve loved to shower with you,” he stroked my cheek, his body hovering over me. “But I don’t want your brother walking in on us like that. At least not before I tell him everything.” he poked my nose before kissing my forehead.

I nodded my head, smiling at him. “I like you so fucking much,” he admitted once again, this time his lips kissing mine.

“I like you too.” he cocked an eyebrow at my confession. “I knew it,” he whispered and kissed my cheek.

***

“Uhh, back the fuck up.” Connie pointed at Jean who was wrapping his arm around me in the kitchen. “You two like each other?” he waved his finger between us before stuffing his fork in his mouth again. I nodded and pushed myself closer to Jean. “Oh no.” he groaned pushing himself off his stool.

“No no no no no…” he repeated in annoyance as he walked past us. I frowned, turning to see him throwing himself on the couch. He threw his head back, another groan leaving his lips as he ran his hands us his face.

“I thought you’d be happy for me, what’s-“

“You had sex while I was in here?” he accused us dramatically in a high-pitched voice, faking his tears. Jean instantly laughed at his friend’s accusation. I let out a sigh of relief and shook my head before laughing at Connie who was fake gagging.

“We only did it the night you saw us together.” I played off. Connie gave me a ‘you think I’m stupid’ look and sighed.

“It was an everyday thing.” Jean corrected making me elbow his waist. He winced pinching my hip earning another hit. “Seriously man?” Connie whined. I mean, at least he wasn’t mad about us liking each other. The only thing that irked him, which is by the way overdramatized and ends up being one of his silly plays, is the fact that I had sex with him when he was sound asleep.

Connie sighed, his annoyed expression turning into a sly one. “I knew you two were fucking!” he laughed sticking his tongue out and clapping his hands. “Now that I’m positive that my sister got cuffed by someone I trust, I can finally sleep in peace.” I rolled my eyes before raising my hand to smack him but Jean pulled me closer to him making it impossible for me to move.

I looked up only to be met with his browns orbs already looking down at me with pure adoration. I could tell he was going to be one of the best things that have ever happened to me and I couldn’t be more thankful. Connie was still talking but I didn’t hear a word he said. Instead, I buried my face into his red hoodie and held him tightly. Who would have thought that my insignificant crush would actually make me feel so lucky?

“-she was and still is everything I’ve always wanted.” I heard him say before kissing my forehead.

[lostinthewiind]

Piss Off Your Parents - Part 8

Ukai Keishin - Haikyuu

Synopsis: freshly turned 18, you want to prove to your parents that you aren’t a child for them to push around anymore. First, get a job at the local corner store. Second, use the store owner’s 26-year-old son with piercings and a cigarette addiction to piss your parents off. Third, accidentally fall in love.

Rating: PG13

Warnings: none

Song → 18 by Anarbor

Previous → Part 7

Next → Part 9

Feeling a body shift beside you, you slowly began to wake from your deep, dreamless sleep. With thin rays of sunlight shining through the crack between the curtains, you let a content, sleepy smile toy at the corners of your lips as you rolled over in Keishin's arms and came face to face with his sleeping form.

It had been over a week since you had started staying with Keishin and even though waking up beside someone every morning definitely took some getting used to, you were a little surprised by just how quickly it was beginning to feel normal. Not only that, but you never slept better than you did in Keishin's bed with his warm, calming presence beside you and strong, protective arm draped over your waist.

Eyes closed and lips slightly parted, Keishin was fast asleep. His chest rose and fell rhythmically and at some point during the night, just like every other night, his hair—which wasn't tamed by the headband while he slept—had gotten all messed up and a few strands had fallen into his face.

Whenever you woke up before him, you would always take the chance to just look at him. While he slept, he seemed completely and utterly at peace—no longer burdened by the stress of coaching volleyball, working at the store, and no doubt whatever extra problems you had brought into his life. You thought back to the time you had watched him sleeping on the couch in the back room and sighed happily; the thought of how much things had changed in such a short period of time truly putting things into perspective.

Unable to keep your hands to yourself any longer, you reached out slowly and brushed the loose strands of hair out of his face and tucked them behind his ear—the same way you had done when you two had first had sex and the same way you had done countless times since.

Keishin could sleep through a thunderstorm or the sound of you calling out his name, but as soon as he felt your fingertips graze against his cheek, his eyes fluttered open. Upon noticing he was awake, you made your touch more prominent and caressed his face.

"Good morning," you whispered, unwilling to raise your voice any more than that and ruin the soft ambiance of the early morning.

Keishin leaned into your touch and smiled softly. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," you answered as you ran your thumb along his bottom lip, internally debating if you should ambush him with kisses now or wait until he had woken up a little more first. Chuckling to yourself over your own thoughts, you caught yourself staring at his lips and directed your gaze back to his eyes. "I'm just looking at you."

Keishin scoffed as he pressed a gentle kiss to your thumb. "Why?"

"Because you look so beautiful when you're asleep," you told him matter-of-factly. "Not that you don't always look beautiful," you added quickly before he could make some sort of sarcastic comment.

Keishin rolled his eyes before pulling you flush against his chest and kissing you. "You're such a sap, you know that?"

You laughed. "First, I'm dramatic. Now I'm a sap. What's next?"

"I have no idea." Keishin shrugged the best he could while lying down. "What I do know, however," he glanced at the clock, "is that we need to get up and get ready."

Following Keishin's gaze to the time, you huffed sadly when you noticed there were only five minutes left until your alarm would go off, forcing you to get ready to open the store. "Can't we just stay in bed all day?" you asked, hoping you could convince him to stay under the covers with you.

"Not unless we want to go broke and end up living under a bridge together."

You chuckled as Keishin crawled out of bed, the temptation of slapping his ass gently when he stood up almost too much but you managed to control yourself. "Together?" You grinned. "You'd stay with me even if we were both dirt poor?"

Keishin rolled his eyes playfully at your takeaway from his statement. "Of course." He collected his clothes before making his way around to your side of the bed and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "But I think I like plumbing and heating too much to give them up, so let's shower and get ready."

Sitting up in bed, you cocked an eyebrow. "You want to shower together?"

Keishin flashed a devilish smirk as he headed for the bathroom. "Purely for the purpose of saving water." He disappeared into the bathroom and seconds later his boxers flew out and landed on the floor, indicating he was completely nude. "But if you hate the planet, then I guess that's on you."

Your cheeks flushed red but nevertheless, you swung your legs over the side of the bed and began removing your clothes as you approached the bathroom. "Sure," you laughed as you closed the bathroom door behind yourself and let your eyes wander over Keishin's wet, naked body as he stood under the steaming water. "If it's for the planet, how could I possibly say no?"

20 minutes of passionate kissing and soapy hands exploring every inch of each other's body later, the two of you towelled off and finished getting ready before sitting down for a quick breakfast together.

"So the volleyball team has a game today, right?" you asked Keishin as you poured milk into your bowl of cereal. Keishin nodded. "What time do you think you will be home?"

Keishin thought for a moment before answering. "Probably around six or seven tonight. The game is right after school so it shouldn't run too late."

"Okay." You sat down across from him at the table. "Should we get dinner after I close up the shop?"

Keishin nodded again. "Sounds like a plan."

With a few more bites of his breakfast, Keishin was setting his dishes in the sink, pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head, and rushing down the stairs and out of the building to start his day.

As you listened to his footsteps stomp down the stairs, followed by the sound of the back door opening and closing to indicate that he had left, you sighed to yourself and sat back in your chair. It was then that you took a minute to think about everything; your job, your boyfriend, your living arrangements, your tattered relationship with your parents. In the span of a few months, your life had completely turned upside down, but that wasn't the part that freaked you out the most.

What really got you thinking was the fact that, even though your life had done a complete 180, you had never been happier; which led to the constant internal questioning about if you had ever really been happy before you had met Keishin at all, or if this was just a different kind of happy—a happy that only a stable, supportive significant other could provide.

Before you had the chance to get lost in your thoughts, you snapped out of it, finished your breakfast, and headed downstairs to open the shop and begin your day.

As usual, you dealt with the typical morning rush of people stopping in to grab a coffee or other various food items on their way to work or school. Once the mid-morning slump hit and the customer traffic went way down, you took the time to do some routine cleaning and inventory. By now, you were like a well-oiled machine when it came to the daily task of running the store.

Around noon, as you were finishing up stocking some shelves, the front door opened and a very well-dressed man strolled into the store. "Hello," you greeted him, standing from where you were kneeling in front of the shelves and dusting off your pants.

The man gave you a once over, eyeing you from head to toe. Without so much as an acknowledging nod, he brushed past you and toward the full-length fridges at the back.

Assuming the man just wasn't in a chatty mood, you took the empty boxes to the storage room. When you exited, the man was already standing at the front counter, impatiently tapping his foot while he held two bottles of water in his hands.

"Sorry for the wait," you apologized. "Just the waters today?"

The man just nodded and let out a grunt.

Trying not to take his dismissive attitude too seriously, you rang up his purchases and gave him the total. Instead of pulling out his wallet, however, he just gave you a dirty look.

"That's a little expensive for two bottles of water, don't you think?" he retorted.

You didn't know what to say to that, so you shrugged. "I'm sorry, I don't make the prices, sir," you told him. "I just work here."

Huffing loudly, the man fished his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out some bills before tossing them haphazardly onto the counter. "Fine. Don't forget my change."

Before you could open the cash register, the front doors opened again and a woman dressed in a beautiful dress with her hair done up elegantly walked in and stopped beside the man before you. "Have you paid yet?" she asked the man, who was either her boyfriend or husband based on the way she was hanging off of his arm. "I just realized I'm out of cigarettes."

"I'm just paying now," he told her, his face softer than you had seen it yet before he turned back to you and asked for the brand of cigarettes that his partner smoked.

Spinning around, you felt your stomach twist at the sight of the empty dispenser of cigarettes, meaning that you were out of the brand he had requested. Of course, the delivery for that day hadn't come in yet, making your job even harder right now.

Plastering the warmest smile on your face that you could muster, you turned back to the couple. "I apologize, but we are all out of that brand. Can I get you something else?"

The woman rolled her eyes. "No, everything else tastes like garbage."

"I see." You stepped back up to the cash register. "So just the waters then?"

The man nodded. "I guess so if your shitty little store doesn't even stock up on popular brands of cigarettes." He watched you intently as you opened the register and counted his change. "I knew we should have stopped somewhere other than this hole in the wall."

As much as you so desperately wanted to rip this man and his spoiled girlfriend a new one, you bit your tongue instead and grinned as you handed him back his change. "Here you are." You dropped the coins into his outstretched hand. "Have a wonderful day."

Neither one of them said anything in response as they turned on their heels and marched out of the store, noses turned up at everything around them. As you watched them get into their fancy car and speed away, you wondered if they treated everyone like that or just lowly corner store workers like yourself.

Trying to let the incident slide off of you like water off of a duck's back, you returned to the remaining tasks on your to-do list and tried to forget all about being treated like a second-class citizen.

As the day turned to late afternoon and the after-school and after-work rush hit, you had found your way back into your groove again.

An hour or so before closing time, and roughly around the time Keishin would be returning, you heard a pair of heels clacking against the tile floor and stood up front behind the counter only to come face-to-face with your mother. Dressed in a pencil skirt and blouse, it was obvious she had just come from work, but your attention was more focused on the envelope she was holding out to you.

"This came for you the other day." She didn't even bother with a simple greeting even though it had been weeks since you had seen or spoken to her or your father.

"Oh, okay." You reached out and took the envelope from her. Turning it over, you felt your heart jump into your throat when you read that it was from the University of Tokyo.

You looked up at your mother expectantly but she waved you off. "Don't ask me what it says, I didn't open it," she said, folding her arms across her chest. "Why didn't you tell your father and me that you applied to the University of Tokyo? It's a very good school."

"Because I didn't do it for you," you said as you tucked the envelope into your back pocket. "And I certainly didn't do it to go to law school or anything you guys would approve of."

Your mother narrowed her eyes at you. "Then why did you do it?"

"To play soccer," you answered, your mind immediately going to the conversation you had had with Keishin while taking inventory together. "And because I told someone I would."

Your mother eyed you for a minute more, waiting to see if you would reach for the envelope again to open it. When you made no indication of sharing your application results with her, she hummed softly. "Well, whatever that letter says, you should take some time to seriously consider what your next step is going to be." She turned to leave but stopped halfway to the door and looked at you over her shoulder. "It's not too late to make the right choice. Think carefully before you throw your life away."

With that, your mother exited the store, leaving you with a mixed slurry of emotions and no clue how to deal with any of them.

Pulling the envelope out of your back pocket, you set it down on the counter in front of you and stared at it. Whatever was printed on the single piece of paper inside would set a course for your future . . . although you were unsure if you even still wanted the future that this piece of paper could give you.

All you wanted was to be happy, and all you knew was that Keishin gave you that.

Anything more felt like asking for too much.

Anything more felt like a gamble that wasn't worth the risk.