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blindbeta · 4 years

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Blind/Visually Impaired Person’s Review Of ‘The Blind Bandit’

It is here! At almost 6 thousand words (I have a problem lol). This is a review of season 2, episode 6 in Avatar: the Last Airbender. The episode is called The Blind Bandit.

Note that this is only a review of the portrayal of blindness rather than the episode or show itself. This show also has audio descriptions on Netflix so any blind followers of mine can watch the show if the want to. I would also like to make it clear that this is my opinion. It is my no means lacking in bias and I won’t pretend that it is. I love this character for some of the reasons I will explain here, and that will show even as I consider criticisms of her or things that simply could have been better.

This character, Toph, was my first exposure to a blind character in television.

CHARACTER INTRO:

“Your champion, The Blind Bandit!”

We first hear Toph introduced as The Blind Bandit. She is described as having pale eyes which is usually how eye conditions are conveyed visually. Some online sources describe them as light grey or sea form green, but glazed over. This could be due to cataracts or some other deterioration. Part of me wants to mention that not all blind people have eyes like this. Most don’t; I don’t. However, blind people can have many eye problems outside of just The Blindness, so it isn’t inaccurate either, especially for a time period where eye surgeries are not available, and Waterbenders are not as easy to reach for healings as they may have been before the war. I also suspect her family would not care about cataracts if Toph was not in pain— their main issue would be her blindness. I’m getting ahead of myself.

The point is, I don’t mind the way her eyes are portrayed here. I do think non-blind people are too obsessed with portraying eyes like this, however, and I feel like it is not necessary in non-visual media unless you have established why their eyes are cloudy/lighter/Like That other than Because Blind. I’m happy they didn’t fall into the trap of portraying her eyes as constantly closed.

I also read somewhere that the creators tried not to move her eyes much. I don’t know how true this goal was, but I feel it is not entirely necessary. Blind people can also have uncontrollable eye movements or rapid eye movements. This might be too hard to animate and too confusing for viewers. Therefore, I feel the creators chose a more practical portrayal of eye movements that is the easiest to animate and least confusing for people who may not know blind eyes can and do move, whether due a condition or other factors.

“She can’t really be blind, can she?”

I like that everyone says “blind” without stumbling over it or treating it as a bad word. Katara is surprised and Aang is accepting, feeling hopeful that this girl could at last be his teacher. I even like that she chose to capitalize on it for her persona. Already we can tell Toph has no issue with being blind, nor does she feel the need to hide it in such a setting as this. She is already the champion— it must be working for her. It is this openness and acceptance of blindness that I like, especially from the main character. Rather than make her hide her blindness or angst over something she has lived with all her life, the writers just introduced it as fact. She’s blind and she’s a champion. That is how we meet Toph.

“Sounds to me like you’re scared, Boulder!”

Trash talk. She’s trash talking him. If the champion thing was not an indication that this wasn’t your stereotypical innocent, blind flower, her first line should be! Already Toph is brash and fearless. A far cry from the angelic stereotype we often get in the media.

“Your winner, and still the champion, The Blind Bandit!”

Toph kicks Boulder Butt. Pretty easily. I loved every second of it.

Now let’s talk about the Super Crip trope here.

IS TOPH A SUPERCRIP?

The Supercrip trope is a bit hard to pin down. I found a few definitions floating around. This link has two: Trope: SuperCrip | #CriticalAxis: a community driven project from The Disabled List

The Supercrip is seen as having “overcome” their disability in order to do normal things or even extraordinary things— with a focus on their disability rather than their accomplishments.

The first part is avoided. The narrative doesn’t focus on how extra special it is that Toph is doing things like: walking, talking, eating soup, sitting with her family, yelling at Aang and his friends, etc. Toph is not seen as extra special for doing normal things that her disability does not make more difficult. Not only would this be patronizing and ignorant, this would reflect that attitudes many real life strangers have: disabled people are so strange and mystical to some people that they feel the need to ask blind people on the street how they walk or talk.

Personally, I find this portrayal of disabled people to be the most harmful. It caters to able-bodied onlookers alone and offers nothing for disabled people. To clarify: the problem is not portraying disabled people/characters doing normal things! The problem is expecting your audience to feel inspired because a disabled person did a thing that is completely ordinary for them.

This does not apply to Toph.

Another definition is that a disabled person is portrayed as “overcoming” their disability in order to do something cool/big, usually something able-bodied people don’t do everyday. This disabled person is only noteworthy because they did something extraordinary such as win several gold medals. This presents two problems: 1) it is hard for disabled people to meet these expectations, especially when this is shown as the only positive way to live with a disability. And 2) able-bodied people see this and believe all disabled people must be winning gold medals or doing super extraordinary things because their disability somehow gives them privilege, pity-points, or superhuman powers that make up for their disability. An example of these powers would be the myth that blind people have superhuman hearing rather than simply using their hearing more than sighted people and thus being more attuned to sound. An example of pity-points would be the time my family was watching Dancing With the Stars featuring a blind contestant. After the dance, someone remarked that the contestant would probably get sympathy points and go on to the next round. Her talent was not a factor the same way it was for the able-bodied contestants; pity-points could not be separated from her success. It was impossible that she would be supported and judged the same way as the others, with her blindness being only an extra factor that might make copying a dance to learn it more challenging for her. Keep in mind, these ideas are so ingrained in people that my own family believed it in even when they know me and several of my blind friends.

Let’s consider Tooh:

Pity-Points? - Not even a factor. This was not brought up by Aang, nor Katara, nor Sokka. It was certainly not thought of by the owner of the battle ring nor Toph’s opponents. In fact, she was only doubted when she lost. Her talent was never viewed as the result of someone else’s pity or reduced to inspiration for an able-bodied wrestling audience. The announcer says her name and nothing else. Her parents don’t bring up the idea that Toph only wins because she was pitied either. They witnessed her bending and only believed they needed to protect her more, not that she was not talented.

Privilege? - It is no question that Tooh’s family is rich. It is hard to say how much that affects her here. She has a tutor who undermines her growth and is pretty much useless. She has protection she doesn’t want and riches she doesn’t seem to use. She does have more free time to battle as a result of her riches, not having to work at a young age (although her parents probably would not have let her even if they needed the money). Toph’s family status could have been seen as playing a role in her winning— if her parents allowed the world to know about her. - It is no secret that Toph is rich, however, when privilege is brought up by able-bodied people, they don’t usually mean riches (although the stereotypical rich disabled person is something I could discuss at a later time). They usually mean some combination of government benefits that may or may not exist and pity points. Disability makes things HARDER, not easier. A person can have multiple privileges they did not earn, or lack of privileges they did not ask for. Toph does not gain special privileges due to her disability, nor does she ask for or expect them. My opinion is that no one asks for this, anyway.

Super-human? - This one is a little trickier. It is the one people are obviously hung up on when they consider Toph. It is difficult to consider this without considering Toph’s entire arc. However, I have chosen to focus on her bending and “sight” and how it is used in this episode. I may talk about this more if I do other reviews. - First, bending. Toph is not the only bender in the series. She is also not the only good bender, as Katara is also someone who grows into her bending and becomes particularly powerful. Aang is already a master of airbending in addition to being the Avatar. He is special and particularly powerful, mastering water quickly. Azula is also said to be a prodigy and has mastered lightning at 14. The point is, Toph is a powerful bender. She is not the only powerful bender in the world. The Avatar needs someone to teach him and that person would, reasonably, have mastered their bending in order to teach the Avatar. - Now for Toph’s bending in relation to her blindness. It is true that Toph is powerful AND blind— is she powerful in spite of being blind? Is she powerful because her blindness gives her superpowers? This is tricky. To me, the narrative doesn’t go out of its way to say “she overcame her blindness and was able to win”. It also doesn’t show blindness as a superpower, such as causing superior hearing. - How is it portrayed then? First, Toph never has to “overcome” her blindness, which is important. The obstacle is the limitations placed on her. The obstacle is society, not her disability. Toph does not need to accept her blindness before doing anything, because she has been blind since birth. She does not have to overcome her blindness before fighting or becoming a champion because when we are introduced to her, she already was. She is not expected to overcome her disability in order to teach Aang; he tries to recruit her without seeing her disability as an issue. She does not need overcome her disability because it is not what stops her, as is the case for most people. There are some things being blind makes difficult, different, or impossible to do, but this isn’t one of them. Blind people can learn to fight. They can win. And when people reduce such accomplishments as “overcoming disability”, it can feel like a misdirection, like a dismissal of hard work and talent.

This does not happen with Toph.

Second, does Toph’s blindness give her superpowers? Maybe. I feel like it might be necessary to cover Toph in other episodes. However, this review is focusing mostly on The Blind Bandit and so I will focus on Toph’s unique “sight”. Toph’s bending is unique from others because she can feel the vibrations in the ground, allowing her to sense objects and people. This ability allows her to fight and beat others. In my opinion, this is more of an adaptation perfected through sheer amount of practice. Katara and Zuko don’t always bend. Toph is using her bending constantly. Of course she would be good at it. Her bending is a tool for her use. Fighting? That’s just a bonus, a hobby.

Toph also has weaknesses and is in fact beaten by Aang, who wasn’t even trying. Losing to someone who had no intention of winning is a pretty big deal.

Personally, I don’t think Toph is a supercrip in this episode. She is a Blind Seer, a trope popular in literature. The Blind Seer can’t see physically, but they can see in other ways you can’t. I don’t have an issue with this trope and think it can be used in cool ways, especially if the blind character isn’t the only one with a superpower.

I do, however, want people to question why a blind character always needs to have a power that relates to or makes up for their lack of sight in some way. Unless you are making a deliberate allusion to something or a blind is not the only one with sight-related powers, I ask writers to question why they jump to sight-related powers in the first place. Or powers related to hearing, something to “make up for” their lack of sight.

Can this be done well? Absolutely. Toph, while she can fall into both The Blind Seer and the Supercrip tropes for some people, she is beloved and interesting for many fans, blind or sighted.

I ask people to trace their logic about why they choose to give their blind character powers related to sight. What kind of power is it? Does it make up for (aka erase) their blindness and make them less relatable to blind readers/watchers? Are they the only blind character and/or the only person with such a power? Can they have another power? What works and does not work for good characters like Toph? Why?

Getting rid of these particular tropes are not the answer. I simply invite people to consider other options, try new things, think critically about why and what woks or doesn’t work in other characters.

I absolutely invite blind writers to use whatever tropes they want, as they can probably write it in a more nuanced way.

My personal opinion about the Supercrip trope is that it is somehow focused on success or talent as the enemy without recognizing what it means. Wanting to succeed is not wrong. Being competitive is refreshing!

It isn’t really about doing super things or not— it is about disabled people being made to feel like they will not be successful, accepted, or taken seriously if they do not win everything or succeed at impossible feats. Able-bodied people are permitted to exist without needing to prove anything. Disabled people are not afforded that respect.

Either disabled people fight against the ingrained expectation that they simply cannot do anything, that will FAIL, because of their disability, or they fight against the realization that, for many people, even impossible feats will never be enough. Their accomplishments will never be seen as just that— accomplishments.

Blind characters should be talented or hard-working, prodigies or people who claw their way to the top. Their disability may be an obstacle and it may, in fact, barely even be necessary to mention aside from adaptive tools. The Supercrip is so alluring because people are under the impression blind people— and disabled people as a whole— cannot do anything. To the point that some condescendingly assume certain things are impossible because they did not think of adaptive techniques or technology. This is why research is important.

Remember why this trope/stereotype exists: for the inspiration of able-bodied people who are uninterested in making changes in society’s attitudes and the amount of accessibility it provides. Problematic tropes like this usually have a specific issue behind them and you cannot tackle or discuss r subvert the trope until you understand the harmful reason it exists.

Not everyone agrees with me. Here are some reading materials:

On the pervasive Supercrip trope in martial arts:

http://feministing.com/2010/02/19/media-portrayal-of-disability-and-martial-arts-a-personal-statement/

On the pressure this trope puts on blind people:

Challenging the ‘Supercrip’ Stereotype of People With Disabilities | The Mighty

[In the comments, I would prefer people not speculate about Toph being a Supercrip or not if they aren’t blind themselves. It would be more helpful to focus on other aspects of this review or share posts by other blind people instead.]

Keep in mind, this is only a review of one episode. And I personally will take a powerful disabled character over a powerless, sad one anytime.

This concludes our commercial break. Back to the show.

BEING BLIND IN EARTH KINGDOM SOCIETY

Earth Kingdom Boy 1: “Well, a flying boar is the symbol of the Beifong family. They’re the richest people in town. Probably whole world.” Earth Kingdom Boy 2: “Yeah, but they don’t have a daughter.”

Now this is interesting. It implies that Toph is: a) hiding herself well so as to keep up her double life and/or b) being hidden by her family. I suspect it is a little of both. A) is pretty obvious, especially with the wall surrounding their estate, while b) could be due to overprotectiveness or shame on the part of her parents. Shame may seem harsh. However, this is not exactly a modern time period and respect for disabled people can vary depending on culture, time, place, and individual attitudes.

When portraying poor social attitudes toward disabled characters, writers must work hard to show the attitudes as wrong and work to reduce them. I do feel that, like with gender discrimination, people tend to preemptively assume accepting disability is modern and Western concept- and that any ableism is fair game because it is realistic. That is far from the truth, especially if they get it wrong.

Too much and it could be mistaken for an excuse to be ableist. Too little and it may seem like erasure of societal barriers faced by blind people.

Let’s see how the ATLA writers handle this.

TOPH’S “SIGHT” AND MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

Anyway, the Gaang finds Toph again. Toph: “What are doing here, Twinkle Toes?” Aang: “How did you know it was me?”

Two things stick out here. I love that The Gaang interacts with her normally and this episode is not about the able-bodied characters learning how to treat a disabled person like a person, nor is it about them confronting their biases. Instead, they have a favor to ask, one that Toph cannot grant. The episode shifts focus onto Toph and her emotions and needs.

I also liked that Aang asks how she knew it was him. This is a common question and it seems to be asked in curiosity rather than implied judgment or suspicion on Aang’s part, as is often the case nowadays. Later in the episode, Toph explains how she knew, but she could also have recognized his footsteps (light as they are) with or without her bending. Blind people are also usually more reliant on hearing or smell and so may pick up on scents or sounds others do not. That is not to say their hearing or smell are superior (see the Supercrip discussion), but that they are used more often. This is how I conceptualize Toph’s bending— it is something she uses all day, every day. Like her hearing and smell and touch, she is more reliant on these senses and so uses them in ways others don’t.

I do wish we had a few more examples of this in the episode/show rather than Toph using her bending for every situation. As I said, I do not mind that she can “see” with bending as it is not true sight, but showing how she uses other senses would have been nice details.

TOPH’S PARENTS HAVE ENTERED THE RING

Toph: “I thought I heard something! I got scared.” Guard: “You know your father doesn’t want you wandering the grounds without supervision, Toph.”

With this, we can understand her father is overprotective, so much so that Toph is able to believably pull off this act of helplessness in front of the guards. Her father does not believe even walking around her own home is safe for her.

With that in mind, it is NOT a plot hole that she can walk around her home in front of her parents. Even overprotected blind kids don’t use canes or need a guide within their own homes as they often memorize the layout. Canes are not usually used inside ones own home or very familiar areas. Outside areas might be an exception as they are likely to change due to nature or redesign, but generally familiar, casual areas do not warrant canes or guides. It is completely believable that Toph can walk around in her own home without causing suspicion.

Toph’s father, indicating soup placed in front of her: “Blow on it. It’s too hot for her.”

Not only is her father overprotective, he is infantilizing. He thinks she can’t blow on her own soup and must be confined to basic stances of bending, something Toph is clearly unhappy with. Toph’s parents are the kind of people who wouldn’t let her watch TV lol!

Toph’s father: “And sadly, because of her blindness, I don’t think she will ever become a true master.”

There it is. There are many people in the world who have this mindset, believing disabled people succeeding is unrealistic, or only achieved by pity-driven intervention from others for inspirational purposes or a lie told by overly soft parenting. Toph’s father may seem radical, but his views are very common even for those close to a blind person. Even for those who might like the inspirational stories about blind people doing things.

HOW TOPH SEES THE WORLD

Toph: “It’s kind of like seeing with my feet.”

This is where I disagree with some interpretations of Toph. She can sense where things are and what they are. She has a wider range than someone with a cane would. However, I don’t know if this is quite erasing her blindness. Could they have done better? Yes. However, to claim the show made her sighted with magic is not quite fitting to me. Toph is not seeing with a magical potion, nor did Katara heal her blindness. She is using a power a lot of people in the ATLA universe have in bending, one she has used her entire life and perfected through sheer number of practice hours. I think it helps that she did not get this power, narratively, because she was blind. Rather she is a blind person who adapted a skill to her use.

A cane or an animal guide might have helped make the narrative more relatable for blind people, however. They could have also played up being unable to see people’s facial expressions. In other episodes, they show areas where she is unable to bend, such as on ice, sand, or floating objects like the warship or Appa.

In these instances, they could have shown sighted guide.

However, I think what they did worked. Would I suggest anyone else try it? Maybe not. It depends on their motivation for doing it. Toph’s powers basically act as a cane or Sunnu band would. They aren’t a magic spell letting her see all the time.

They could have done a little better— I still think it worked. It does not seem to have unfortunate implications of sight being better than blindness or blindness needing special cures.

For writing purposes, it is important to understand why this worked, how it was portrayed, factor in that bending is not unique to Toph, understand the nature of her ‘sight’, and understand what they could have done better. Just because it works here doesn’t mean it will work everywhere. It is important for writers to understand that and question their motivation for giving their character a different kind of vision.

THE DISABILITY EPISODE - AVOIDED

Toph’s father: “My daughter is blind. She is blind and tiny and helpless and fragile. She cannot help you.” Toph: “Yes. I can.”

Some may feel uncomfortable that Toph’s first episode is about her parents doubting her, dealing with ableism and being forced into stereotypes by her own family. It is important to remember that this is a show for children and any blind children watching it will have dealt with similar issues from adults in their lives. The show doesn’t seem to say this is the only narrative a blind character can have, but rather that it is a relatable occurrence for blind children who are watching it.

Toph also has many episodes left — this is only the beginning. This is hardly her only arc, and even her personality and abilities challenge so many stereotypes.

In most shows, the blind character gets one episode. Toph, however, is a main character.

Toph is also a well-rounded and interesting character with agency. She hardly seems like an inspirational puppet for adults.if this show had been written for adults or if Toph had been focusing on wanting to become a champion “despite her blindness”, I might have felt upset. It goes to show how important nuance is when writing disabled characters and how powerful it can be to make an effort to challenge stereotypes.

This is not how we first see Toph— helpless, unproductive. Instead, we FIRST see her out in the world kicking butt with her bending skill and I think that it is important.

NOT SO HELPLESS AFTER ALL

Toph’s father uses these words to describe her: Tiny, helpless, fragile. Unable to help others. Unexpected to become a true master or even advance beyond breathing techniques.

Toph challenges all of these at some point. She helps Aang defeat the bad guys. She faces many people in battle and wins, remaining an undefeated champion until Aang accidentally beats her. She advances far beyond basic bending techniques. Toph is good at very active things, with bending as a martial art and as a sport here. It is refreshing to see blind characters being so active and a stark contrast to the passive image her father has of his blind daughter. She does things for herself, including developing her bending style without the help of a master who limits her- and she hides her double life well. Toph’s ability and personality also challenge notions of fragility: she is boisterous and fearless, stubborn and even a bit rude. She mostly says what she wants to and fiercely hides what she doesn’t want to, even when pressured. She yielded only to her parents, which is tied up in love, respect, fear that they will no longer love her, possible aversion to change in some aspects of her life, and cultural expectations. For disabled children, it is often hard to go against your parents because the world teaches you that the world will never accept you or allow you to live in it. Your family is all you have.

Toph IS tiny, although that is due to genetics, environmental factors, and her age. However, her stature is used to prove the other qualities assigned to her when in reality her height has nothing to do with anything her family believes about her.

When the fighting starts, Toph creates a cloud of dust which effectively blinds her opponents. I thought it was a nice, ironic touch. The point is not just that her opponents now cannot see; Toph is already used to fighting under these conditions. She didn’t level the playing field. She is already better than them, already used to working without sight, and so the advantage is hers.

ABLEISM IN ACTION

Later, Toph confronts her parents:

Toph’s father: “You will be cared for and guarded 24/7.” Toph’s mother: “We are doing this for your own good, Toph.”

Unfortunately, this kind of infantilization is not uncommon. They saw her as she truly was and were still unable to let go of their ideas of their blind daughter. At this point, Toph is more trapped than ever despite opening up. The first time, it was surprising to see them not change their minds, given the happy endings we are used to in children’s shows. However, what happens is more relatable to blind kids with overprotective or controlling parents.

Of course, Toph makes the choice to leave them, showing more agency than most blind characters get, with or without controlling parents.

OVERALL

Overall: I loved this episode. It was a nice introduction to a character that both challenged expectations and dealt with obstacles relatable to blind fans. Toph’s struggles with her parents and the weight of stereotypes could have been cheap inspiration porn, but the way it was handled and the target audience of children rather than adults changes things immensely. This episode goes out of its way to challenge many stereotypes viewers may hold about blind people in ways that are fun and exciting. Toph’s personality is refreshing even over a decade later. While her bending as ‘sight’ may be disliked by some, it feels more like something with missed opportunities (the use of a cane or sighted guide), although I thought this episode did it well. Toph is not given special powers so that she can see—she adapts an ability for her own use.

Toph is a martial artist, encouraging children to try something similar if they are interested. She challenges her own parents, which may be very relatable to blind fans.

Unlike most children’s shows of the time (and even now), Toph does not feel like a vessel for able-bodied viewers to learn about blindness.

ACCESSIBILITY:

However, it is important to remember that at the time ATLA aired, there was no Netflix with audio descriptions. Descriptions were infrequent at the time and are still spotty on cable TV. The ATLA DVD did not have audio descriptions either, which is the case with all DVDs I have come across. Netflix also took an embarrassingly long time to add audio descriptions to a show with a blind character.

Consider that Toph was nearly inaccessible to blind children at the time — until 2020, well after other sighted children could enjoy it fully. Blind children could not watch a show about them with the same ease that a sighted child could. Think about that.

Is the show to blame for this? I don’t know. Usually the broadcasting service handles descriptions. I have yet to come across a DVD with descriptions. However, I wonder why it took this long. Did the staff consider a blind audience at all? Could they have pushed for descriptions to be added to the DVD?

And what about fans? Did fans consider that the character who challenged stereotypes for them might not be as accessible to blind people themselves? While they scrabbled about whether the characters were ableist, did they bother to consider Netflix’s lack of audio descriptions? Do they remember to add image descriptions to GIFs, pictures, or video clips in the years ATLA was popular online? Did any of this occur to anyone BUT the blind community?

Doesn’t seem like it.

TOPH AND THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE OF/LESS OF IN BLIND CHARACTERS

I made a post about things I would like to see more/less of in blind characters. You can read it here:

https://blindbeta.tumblr.com/post/637419979125489664/things-i-want-to-see-more-ofless-of-in-blind

Here’s how Toph compares to that!

More of: -Blind main character ✔️ -Blind character of color ✔️ -Active (sports/martial arts) and competitive ✔️ -Acknowledgment of difficulties faced in society ✔️

How They Avoided Things I Wanted Less Of: -Being portrayed as sad or broken because of blindness - Avoided - Toph owns her blindness by giving herself the same The Blind Bandit. The only time she is sad is when facing ableism from her parents.

-Being innocent, helpless, and unrealistically kind or selfless - Toph proves she is not helpless, even directly challenging it in the narrative. - Toph is also not unrealistically kind or selfless, not only insulting other characters- but refusing to help Aang when he needs it because it would change things between her and her parents. She also challenges her parents in the end, putting her desires before their feelings toward their perceptions of her. When she follows Aang, she doesn’t do so only to help him. She has her own want to travel and gain independence. - As for innocence, Toph IS 12, although she is far from naive. She is able to fool her own parents into thinking she is who they want her to be.

-Being portrayed as ungrateful or rude in general - Toph’s rudeness comes from a non-ableist place—herself. She is not rude due to anger about being blind nor rude due to entitlement. She doesn’t accept she doesn’t need and is not demonized for this, even when going against her own parents. Toph’s rudeness is in her personality, making it subversive in avoiding the idea blind people must accept all help and be grateful for it. The narrative does NOT expect Toph to go along with the ‘help’ of her parents or even Aang. She refuses this help until she is ready and willing to receive it.

-Going blind due to accidents or trauma - Toph was born blind

I WOULD HAVE WANTED TO SEE: -more adaptive technology/skills in addition to her bending -how she utilizes her other senses -another blind, minor character somewhere in the show (doesn’t apply to this episode, but still)

Toph is, in the end, a token blind character. It works better because she is a MAIN character, which is still not a common occurrence in modern media at all. Toph works because she does not have any stereotypical traits about her personality, which means the sighted audience does not have to rely on another character to broaden their perspective. However, it is still important to include more than one blind character in your stories. For ATLA, 1 or 2 minor blind characters may have helped, or maybe an additional secondary or even main character with low vision.

Toph has a well-rounded personality, which also means the “token” is not completely applicable to her. Toph is a great character. It would have been nice if she were not the only blind character. In fact, I cannot think of any show that has more than one blind character, as if it is a character quirk that cannot be done more than once.

RANDOM IMAGINES TIME

Now I’m imagining a Zuko whose eyesight was affected by the burn or a Zuko whose father decided he didn’t need that side of face anyway if he could not see out of it. Or an Azula who is blind and still better than Zuko -sticks out tongue-! Or perhaps Sokka or Ty Lee contrasting Toph’s personality and bringing to the table a struggle with a lack of depth perception while hunting or performing in the circus, respectively.

The point is, you don’t have to overload your story with blind characters unless you are setting it at a school or event for the blind. Instead, consider who is blind in your story and who else possibly could be. Consider why you only have one blind character and why.

That about wraps up all my thoughts on Toph. In short, I love her. There are things they could have done better or additions they could have made to improve the episode and Toph’s character as a whole, but she is still one of the most beloved and recognizable blind characters ever. I think that says something about the impression she left on people.

If only she would have been accessible to more blind children from the start.

I hope this review was helpful! If you need help writing blind characters I provide sensitivity reading in exchange for donations. My inbox is also open for questions.

#avatar the last airbender #toph #toph beifong #writing blind characters #blind #blindbeta

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buckmepapi · 2 years

Note

IM. Not. Okay. I’m having an aneurysm. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks now. He came to my home for the first time last night. In my room. Where my bookshelf’s are.

He picked up a spicy book and asked why I had little post it notes on some pages. He got to the smut page. Fuck. My. Life.

He read a few lines, set it back (in the right place may I add!) tapped the book and said “that’s good to know”

WHAT WAS GOOD TO KNOW!! Home girl was getting RAILED in the book. I’m not prepared to see this man again

(Side note My Killer Vacation by Tessa Bailey is a good read 5/5 would recommend)

OOOOOOH CHILE ,,, that was spicy and he deffo seems like he’d be planning some shit 🍆

I’ve actually never read an actual smut novel, so I will 100 percent check it out !!!!

Also I’m gonna post some long soppy shit rn; I finally left that toxic ass guy back in April that I was seeing for like 4 years (some of u may recall posts I made bc literally every single one of u would reply to the posts telling me to get out asap lol) and I started seeing this guy in June and boy lemme tell you

He is a skinny nerdy tattooed guy that radiates alt dilf energy with his sense of fashion and has a big thick dick that curves lord have mercy

He is literally so emotionally mature, like my god he treats me like royalty and will do anything for me. He moans and whimpers when we fuck, he’s also starting to come out of his shell and talk abit during sex now which I’m dying over, he knows all my kinks and is on bored, even jokes about breeding and I’m like 👀👀👀👀👀

He eats pussy like a god like I’ve never had sex feel good before. I’ve spoken about sex before on my page and I was pretty much lying bc I was overcompensating bc sex has never felt good for me but everytime this guy fucks me I feel like I’m in heaven and I’m always saying “oh my god?” Or “how are you doing that??”

Side note; I still can’t cum though. It’s not really him bc he feels incredible when he does literally anything I get all over chills I just get too inside my head bc no one’s ever made me cum but myself but he’s getting their with praise and reassurance and verbal stuff like dirty talk etc so I know damn well he’ll be able to do it one day. He understands and doesn’t get defensive or upset and blame me , he listens to what I want and learns.

Like I can not reiterate how this man is so mature emotionally and mentally, he’s empathetic, we’ve cried in front of each other many times. He even cries when I cry lol, when I’m upset he crouches down in front of me and holds t my face and looks at me when he speaks to me and kisses my forehead and I AHHSJDLSOAJSKA

We’ve said I love you to each other now, we’re dating/seeing each other exclusively and have been since we first met. We aren’t in a relationship yet and we’ve discussed it before but due to our past issues we’re taking it slow and waiting till it feels right so we don’t rush into anything too quick.

And!!! I let this man sleep over at my house every weekend. If y’all know me y’all know I have insomnia and also can’t sleep around people whatsoever. I feel so sleepy around him constantly and fall asleep next to him within 30 mins — he literally makes my inner child feel so safe and protected.

He understands my disabilities, is learning sign language to communicate with me when I can’t hear, helps me when I’m non verbal, looks after me when I’m in pain or tired, he understands my sensory issues and doesnt say hateful things to me about my disabilities or triggers. He understands my CPTSD and helps me during episodes — this man !! Holy shit!!!

That’s why I’ve been so quite as well bc I’m so happy ;; he’s coming over tomorrow after his shift at work and will be here till Monday AAAAAAAA

#buckmepapi #k;#𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓻 ╰✧#📬 𝖒𝖎𝖉𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖈𝖊𝖒𝖆𝖎𝖑 #mutuals #answered #personal

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dancedance-resolution · 3 years

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andi mack friendom, are you interested in some more thoughts about my andi mack / american girl crossover (which is actually just a thinly veiled info dump about american girl history and drama)? if so, you're in the right place!

the andi / buffy / cyrus doll set i designed would be a contemporary line.

CONTEXT (forewarning, this is basically just an ag info dump about the 2017 contemporary line) (also, tagging @kirstensleepey because i think this write up might be useful for the ag project you're working on <3):

so in 2017, american girl did a brand new thing. they released 3 dolls who were contemporary characters but not girls of the year. (prior to these dolls' release, which are called "the contemporary line" by the ag fandom, the only categories of ag dolls were historicals, girls of the year, and just like yous.)

the contemporary line was controversial for many reasons.

first, we have our main character, tenney grant. (tenney is basically taylor swift as a doll, if taylor were uncool and a r*publican lol.)

one of the reasons why tenney is so controversial is that she overshadowed the girl of the year (henceforth abbreviated as goty) 2017, gabriella mcbride.

tenney was released only one month after gabriella's release. ag's social media gave much more focus to tenney than gabriella. upon tenney's release, gabriella's store displays were downsized (which is unheard of for a goty). tenney even had a larger collection than gabriella!

why are we mad about tenney overshadowing gabriella? well, gabriella was ag's first (and as of 2021, ONLY) black goty. also, gabriella was ag's first doll to have an explicity confirmed disability - her stutter.

BRIEF INTERMESSION - SOME STATISTICS ABOUT DIVERSITY IN CHARACTER DOLLS:

only 7 out of the 22 total historical characters have been dolls of color. only 3 out of 22 historicals have been black (one of which is now retired). only 2 out of 22 have been aapi (one of these dolls, ivy, was just a best friend doll and is now retired; and the other doll, nanea, has a problematic face mold. i wrote an essay about why her facemold is problematic here!). only 1 historical doll, josefina, is hispanic, and ag has actually misspelled her name as "josephina" on their social media before.

only 1 doll EVER has been native american, kaya'aton'my, who is a historical character from 1764. (not even any of the just like you dolls have had kaya's face mold! kaya is truly the only indigenous doll!) in fact, ag has had more colonizer characters than indigenous characters. felicity and elizabeth are white character dolls from 1776, and their books fail to address the issues surrounding colonization and treatment of native americans. and kirsten is a swedeish immigrant to wisconsin in 1854. her book does acknowledge the existence of native americans, and kirsten has an indigenous friend named singing bird. (i haven't read kirsten's books and i'm not indigenous, so i can't comment on this storyline.) ag actually had a controversy about kirsten just this year - in 2021, the t-shirt design for kirsten said "settlers gonna settle", and ag actually ended up changing the design to "cabin sweet cabin" after backlash.

moving on to the girl of the year line - out of 21 goty dolls, gabriella is the ONLY black goty. only 6 out of 21 gotys have been dolls of color. there have been 2 hispanic characters (luciana, who is generally regarded as an excellent doll; and marisol, who is controversial because her book talks about how her family moved from pilsen chicago - a real area of chicago that is home to many hispanic immigrants - to a white suburb due to crime. this storyline involves racist stereotypes.) also, goty 2016 lea clark (slightly tan skin, blonde hair, light green eyes) is 1/8th brazilian, and some brazilian ag fans consider the emphasis on lea being 1/8th brazilian racial feticization. next, there have been 3 aapi gotys. one of these dolls, sonali, was one of two best friend dolls for chrissa (goty 2009) - yep, you heard that right, yet another doll of color that is a side character! sonali is the bully in chrissa's books, but she gets a redemption arc. to this day, sonali is ag's only south asian character doll. [additionally, there has been some criticism that all of the aapi gotys are mixed race - jess mcconell (goty 2006) has a japanese mother and an irish/scottish father, kanani akina (goty 2011) has a french/german mother and a japanese/hawaiian father, and sonali matthews has an indian mother and a father of unknown race/ethincity. perhaps notably, the only aapi historical doll who is not currently retired (nanea) is also mixed race (hawaiian mother and scottish father).]

as for the disability thing i mentioned - ag also has a disappointing track record regarding disability representation, lol. it was very lightly implied that mckenna (goty 2012) had a learning disability, but that was never confirmed. mckenna's tutor, who used a wheelchair, was ag's first big disability rep, but she was just a side character in mckenna's story. then, many ag fans were disappointed when mary ellen, a historical character released in 2015, was able-bodied (in canon, she had polio as a child, so it would make sense for mary ellen to be disabled and use mobility aids). finally, in 2020, goty joss gave us some disability rep - she has a hearing aid.

ag's lack of disability rep is very frustrating, especially considering that doll companies, like our generation, have made some really cool disabled dolls. and ag has been doing this ad campaign with the paralympics that feels performative to me - like, they want to seem inclusive by featuring dolls with prostetic legs, but they don't even sell dolls like that!!!

lastly, religious diversity - iirc, there are three jewish dolls (rebecca, goty 2001/2002 lindsey, and goty 2009 chrissa). the rest of the dolls are either christian or of unspecified religion. there has never been an explicitly muslim, hindu, or buddhist doll, or a doll who is a member of any religion other than judaism/christianity/unspecified. (there is some hope that we might get a muslim doll, though, since an outfit with a hijab was leaked, and ag trademarked a persian name that i can't recall off the top of the head at my moment. but take these with a grain of salt - ag trademarks a ton of stuff that they don't use, and the leak could be false or just a truly me outfit.)

END OF INTERMISSION - BACK TO THE TENNEY/GABRIELLA CONTROVERSY:

so, we get our first black goty, and she's being totally overshadowed by tenney.

here's where a conspiracy comes in:

we can track when ag trademarks their character names. goty names are usually trademarked early in the year prior to their release (by may). but gabriella mcbride wasn't trademarked until october, iirc.

and gabriella is a very underdeveloped character in comparison to most gotys. one of her main hobbies - dancing - was the same main hobby as both marisol (goty 2005) and isabelle (goty 2014). her store displays were underemphasized in comparison to tenney's, as i mentioned before. she was the first goty who didn't get a movie in six years (since kanani, goty 2011). and gabriella didn't even have a big ticket accessory item available until summer!

so, we get our first black goty, and she's underdeveloped, underemphasized, seems to have been rushed (due to her trademark date), and overshadowed by tenney just one month after her release. why is that?

well, some people think that tenney was actually supposed to be goty 2017! (i agree)

tenney was trademarked earlier, had more development, had a bigger collection, etc. we think that tenney was supposed to be goty 2017, but ag decided to do a doll of color (gabriella) at the last minute. (keep in mind the climate of 2015/2016 - ag probably wanted some clout for doing a black goty, and they also probably heard the ag fandom's demands for more dolls of color.)

so that's tenney.

next we have logan everett. logan was ag's first boy character doll. i'm glad that ag had a boy character doll, but logan kinda missed the mark for me. the main source of controversy surrounding logan is his face mold: he, a white boy, uses the kaya face mold. !! it kinda felt like a slap in the face to many indigenous ag fans - kaya is literally The Only Doll with the kaya face mold, and when we finally get another doll with her face mold, he's not even indigenous.

lastly, we have z yang my beloved <3. z yang was done dirty - she is yet another doll of color who is a mere side character, and also, she was available for only a total of 20 months before being retired!

so, that's everything i have to say about the 2017 contemporary line.

now i'm going to talk about the 2021 contemporary line :3

so, it's summer 2020. the black lives matter is becoming more mainstream. brands are now getting clout for appearing "woke."

so, admist this climate, ag is (as always) facing demands from its fandom/collectors to diversify its doll line. so they announce that they're going to be doing a new contemporary line, to be released in "the second half of 2021"!!!! and they promise that the contemporary line will have a black lead character

fast forward to modern day. thanks to ag's trademarks, we can safely assume that the new contemporary line will be called "world by us." we can safely assume that the line will have 3 characters. the 3 characters all live in washington dc and are best friends :) we can safely assume that the characters will be maritza ochoa, evette peeters, and makena williams. i talked about makena and maritza on that ask regrettable-username sent me about my andi mack/ag headcanons! personally, i'm excited for world by us, and i think it has a lot of potential!

alright sawyer, that's the end of the ag info dump fhjhdhfskf.

now for my andi mack friends:

i think the andi/buffy/cyrus line would be structured similar to world by us: andi is the main character, and buffy and cyrus are her best friend dolls :) all 3 dolls would be released at the same time. andi would have 3 books that have buffy and cyrus as side characters, and buffy and cyrus would have one book each.

the big ticket item for this collection would be andi's andi shack. i'm imagining its design sort of like kira's tent mixed with lanie's camper mixed with blaire's farm. andi the walls of andi shack would open up so that when it's fully opened, the four walls are on an even plane with the back wall and extended out like wings. you remove the roof before opening up the walls. the shack is tall enough that the doll can comfortably stand up even with the roof still attached, and wide enough that all three dolls (andi, buffy, and cyrus) can comfortably stand next to each other inside of andi shack.

andi shack would come with a ton of craft supplies inside of it. it would also come with a little flower box that has cece's african violets, like blaire's flower box. (thanks to regrettable-username for coming up with the african violets idea fdjfsj.)

alright i have to go now, so these are all my andi mack/ag thoughts for now, but i might be back later with more thoughts fhdfjs (hopefully not though, since typing this out took me over three hours [sweating emoji]).

sorry for any typos and sorry for how scatterbrained this is! also this may have some forgotten things/mildly incorrect things bc my only source is my brain (and a photo of all the dolls so i can count how many dolls for the statistics portion) and my brain is not the most reliable thing on earth lol.

#long post #american girl dolls #i feel kinda bad about putting this in the andi mack tag since it's mostly ag related; but it does include info about my andi mack/ag au #and the friendom has seemed to be really enjoying the andi mack/ag au (nostalgia i guess) so uhhh hopefully you guys will enjoy this? lol #andi mack

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vtforpedro · 3 years

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long, long health update - tw in tags please read them

I am going to speak very frankly about suicidal ideation; please don't read further if this is triggering for you ;3; but please know that I love you I had my follow-up appt with my neuropsych on monday to go over my results and whatnot. it was virtual, and I was in the middle of a head episode and I told her I wasn't doing well, but within about 5-10 minutes, she was saying I should probably go to the ER lkajflaj I guess it looked pretty bad lmao anyway I told her all the reasons I couldn't. medical trauma, being dismissed b/c I have doctors who manage my headaches, and I know it's not life-threatening even if it is 10/10 agonizing, so why are you here. they're so dismissive. she said that they have medication to possibly help break the cycle of constant migraines but I've been treated with those before and they didn't do shit migraines are secondary to iih. it's the iih that needs to be fixed ._. she said I still deserved to not suffer and that the ER is very strict about keeping covid patients away from other patients and I didn't have the heart to tell her they intubated a covid patient 10-15 feet away from me last time I was in an ER 😭 anyway so the results. she said she wasn't worried about anything going on that was concerning or indicating something wrong in my brain. I DID score quite a bit lower for someone my age on information processing (which is exactly what I said I was struggling with to my two neuros who were both like ehhh) and some issues with memory but they weren't super specific and so it could be something neurological, could be my migraines and constant agony lmao, could be my Emotional State. could be all of them at once, I suppose ;) she went into more detail about some of these things but it was the two questionnaires I filled out that were HNNN. so once all the data is entered from like 300 questions it shows a good look into my personality and perceptions and all that and it makes a cool little graph (OR SO I THOUGHT). the kind that looks like mountain peaks. so she points at the one that is waaay higher than the rest and nearly touching the top of the box and she's like 'do you see this one' me: yeah 😬 her: this is your feelings and ideations about suicide me: 😬 😩 😬 her: when I see a score this high, I stop what I'm doing and I call the police to have them escort you to a hospital me: 😬😬😬😬😬 her: but I didn't do that. because when we spoke in office you told me you felt this way and why you don't do it. you told me it's something you've lived with for a long time and the pain you are suffering is what makes it so bad. and I trust you me: 😭😭😭 okay her: do you see this line down here? this is people who have suicidal ideation recorded on this test. you scored 98% higher on suicidal ideation compared to people reporting suicidal ideation HNNNNNN. she said it probably wasn't surprising to me and asked me if I was safe again and all that. I assured her I was and said in my previous appointment; I've had suicidal thoughts since I was like 12? maybe earlier. there have been very few times in my life not surrounded by abuse and trauma so I'm never really free of it. I've had four traumatic incidents causing increasingly horrible episodes of ptsd in nine years. all through my 20s. still here woo, lol and she said she knew that and had a patient not long after my first appointment who had similar circumstances in their life. and they told her it's almost a comfort having it. cause I was saying it's in the back of my mind at all times and I won't do it, but yeah, it's always there. anyway she said they said the same thing; it's always there, always in the background as 'hey I'm an option!' even though we aren't going to harm ourselves. it's a comfort knowing there is an option even if we plan on never using it? idk it just spoke to me and I felt it in my soul we talked about some emotional stuff after and I cried and it was a thing. it felt really good to speak to a psychologist who, just as she was in the first appointment, seemed genuinely concerned and wanted to help

me. I told her I was ready for therapy and she said she'd already looked for therapists for me lkasjdlkja and gave me a group that I emailed yesterday. I don't think they'll take my insurance but she said to message her through the portal if they don't and she'll try to find someone who does I don't remember if I mentioned it, but since she knew about the head shit before I met her, she dimmed her office lights without asking if I needed it and like as soon as we started the virtual visit, she leaped up and dimmed them and said she should've thought about it before the appt 😭 (I keep my brightness really low on my computer and use the warming feature 24/7 on comp and phone and my apt is really dimmed but it still helped a lot when she did it) she kept saying 'you did nothing wrong. it was the choice of others to do what they did. you don't deserve to carry their choices. you deserve to be able to hand it back to them. you don't deserve to be in pain. you did nothing wrong. you deserve to be free of what they did and you deserve to not suffer in such physical pain' I'm so wary of doctors but I really like her and I feel fortunate to have been referred to her ;3; speaking for a long time and especially emotionally is hard for me, so I might try to do two sessions a month once I find a therapist and see if I'm ok with that. trying to keep everything virtual while delta is out there I read her report and her official diagnosis is uhh really strong for major depressive disorder, severe. and severe ptsd with disassociative symptoms so!!! I claimed both of those on my disability application and the person handling my claim told me when I had this appt to call and let her know because she wanted the info. I signed a release the day I was there when I told my neuropsych that cause MH stuff is different than other medical records. she said she faxed it to the woman handling my disability application but I was gonna call her and ask if she received it and also tell her I have a new neuro so she will probably request his stuff too I called today and her voicemail box is full so lol try again later today's been awful. last night was horrible. got a bill for over $800 from my colonoscopy/endoscopy even though I asked numerous times if insurance was covering it and was told yep, every penny. so I was on the phone with insurance and the surgery center for 45 minutes. insurance seemed confused af but the agent I spoke with got some help from people who handle this stuff I guess finally she told me not to pay it, they're going to send them a letter to get it sorted (idk if this means I won't have to pay it at all or if they're going to try to make it that way. but I think govt insurance, which is what I have, works differently. like doctors kinda have to follow what they say vs. the other way around) and not worry about it for the next 30 days. I'm still gonna worry about it lmao they used a nice scare tactic on the bill that this was the 'LAST AND FINAL NOTICE' despite the fact they've never sent me anything else. my mom and the insurance agent said nah that's just what they do to scare people into paying fuckin love america <3 land of the free. the american dream! greatest country on earth 💜🖕💜 I just don't want it to go to collections and have to fight credit bureaus to get it off my credit so it's not destroyed |: anyway my head hit like 10/10 bad while I was on the phone cause of the talking a lot and trying to PROCESS INFORMATION and stress and also the fucking hold music, which I have to hear in some way b/c I gotta know when they're back on the line hnnnnn bad day. it's 1pm and bad, bad, bad day. bad month all around. I want this shit to stop anyway. I'm sorry about the suicidal ideation talk, but it's important to talk about that stuff. it can get severe but it can also get better. it does, eventually, even if it comes and goes. it always does get better I'm sorry, I also really needed to get this down somewhere. feel like I'm going to explode emotionally AND physically and I need to talk about it. hopefully

soon I'll have a therapist to talk to so I can get a lot of this stuff worked on. got my whole life to chat about so it'll probably take a long time but I'm willing to let it lmao therapy doesn't usually work for me anymore but idk I've had a lot of shit happen in less than two years so maybe it will this time I'm trying! I really am trying if you read this rambling monster, thank you. love you all and please stay safe

#vtforpedro personal #tw suicidal thoughts #tw suicidal ideation #tw suicide #tw mental health #tw depression #tw anxiety #tw mental illness #personal #medical #also she is obligated by law to report suicide risks and right now that's to the police so I can't blame her for that #we desperately need crisis intervention rather than fucking asshole cops but that's just what it is right now

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impuretale · 3 years

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Health Update

So the last anyone heard, I was waiting to hear from the government still about disability, and there was finally a good outcome! This and more under the cut.

So if you’re new, then this all started back in Nov 2020 when I at a far too young age had a stroke, caused by a mixture of having been diabetic and undiagnosed for years + the doctors suspect now that I had COVID early last year, as early as late Dec 2019, early Jan 2020 (which makes sense, I get the flu sometimes but at that time I was bedridden for a long time due to uncontrollable vertigo, which had never happened before.

So I was actively having the stroke all day because lol when you don’t have healthcare you hope whatever is wrong is something you can sleep off because it’s that, bankruptcy, or death. So I wake up, think I’m having the worst migraine of my life, sleep, wake up, right arm asleep -- I’m bigger and a side sleeper, so normal, turn over. Next time I’m up, have vertigo, sleep it off, etc. About 4 is when I get up and realize both my right arm and leg are asleep. That’s when 911 gets called.

So thankfully marketplace approved my insurance while I was pretty much enroute to the hospital. Right side is affected. I spend two weeks in the hospital (and I’m fired from my editing job for not being better after a week, btw) but I can’t do most things I would need to be able to do to survive at home on my own, so I spend the next month in a nursing home, which was one of the singlemost traumatizing experiences of my life. Ask me if you want to hear more.

Early January 2021 I return home able to walk with the help of a walker for like,,,a minute, tops. But I’ve been making active plans to change my eating and activity habits, because diabetes, hypertension and a slew of bad readings in my bloodwork (my A1Cs were at 11.6, to give you a snapshot). I have applied for disability by this point, and they tell me that the wait’ll be like 2-5 months. Manwhile can’t work, can’t do anything U used to love like write, draw, typing is hard and I can’t even play most video games.

Fast forward: most of you know I survived and maintained a diet I otherwise wouldn’t have afforded (I lived on like 20 a week before) through donations while waiting for disability.

It took nine months (huge backlog because of COVID) to get approved and part of that was because they weren’t receiving all the records they were supposed to get. A small part but it led to delays. But I am at last approved and safe.

That is not the only news. ALL my bloodwork is better (A1Cs are 4, for comparison) for one. For another, I can draw with a tablet, which followers have seen examples of. All my cognitive problems are mostly solved. I can play video games again -- that’s actually been very good therapy for my hands and brain.

I can stand up long enough to make my meals without being in pain, and I can go for walks now (but I have to take my rollator with me; I have leg neuropathy on top of my other mobility issues). I have goals for things I would like to do to celebrate recovery. Visit the Cincinnati Zoo, for instance.

Finally, I have as of writing this lost 97 lbs. Started at 365 lbs in November 2020 and am down to 268; I am fitting into 26′s for the first time since I was an undergrad and my bra has gone down 8 inches and 3 cup sizes. I don’t overheat as easily, like I used to. My back problems are much more manageable and no longer lay me up once or twice a year.

Mentally, I’m in a really good place too. Evening out chemically has helped to significantly reduce my anxiety and depression, too! So overall, I’m happy to be reporting a lot of good news rather than begging for help.

#health #weight loss #stroke #stroke recovery

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jaynovz · 3 years

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tell us more abt the hannibal and black sails parallels pls

Okay, first off, I am so sorry this took so long!! I’ve been moving and shit has been so busy.

Second, yay!! This question. Now I have an excuse to ramble.

Okay so, the two shows do have a lot of similarities. The big one you notice right off the bat is that both have an extremely codependent relationship at the center.

There are a ton of ways the Flint-Silver and Hannibal-Will relationships parallel, like, they both talk about melding minds with another person, being monstrous, reveling in being monstrous, being made complete by an unlikely source, personas/playing roles/person suits, knowing yourself more completely next to another person, darkness as a source of freedom, something beyond choice/being drawn inexorably into a person’s destructive orbit and being forever changed by it. They deal with the nature of truth, both have supernatural elements, both have religious imagery connected to one half of the ship (Flint and Hannibal both compared to god).

Also, both shows end with an impossible choice and, ostensibly, tragedy; and they both have open endings that are interpretable based on what you want to believe.

But at a certain point, the similarities end and the two shows veer off from each other. Namely, the dynamics between the two ships are fundamentally different in a lot of ways, and it's more interesting to look at the ways in which they don't parallel. At the end of the day, the biggest one is that Silverflint is not anywhere near as destructive, whereas for Hannigram, mutual self-destruction is sort of the name of the game. Silverflint may be as codependent but I think the important addition of either Madi or Thomas or (ideally) both, helps make the relationship a lot healthier. If they would actually just talk to each other and work some shit out, it could be great. This is of course contingent on whether you think one or the other could compromise. (The compromise being that they come to some middle ground between Flint giving up the big picture Cause for personal happiness, or Silver throwing in genuinely with the idea of revolution and it being worth the risk of the people most important to him.) The end tragedy of Black Sails sets us in a spot where it doesn’t seem like either Flint or Silver are willing to do so, but perhaps one or the other could grow and change (with helpful mediation, as stated.)

Whereas Hannigram, well. It’s rooted from the very beginning in gaslighting, manipulation, and a completely skewed power balance. It’s absolutely like, this person has done so much bad shit to you, they’ve killed people you love, they’ve sent people to kill you, they’ve lied to you, isolated you, made you fundamentally doubt what kind of person you are etc. But still, you literally can’t cut them out of your life because nothing is ever going to compare to the experience of having them around even if it’s, most often, largely a negative influence. Like, damn. So dark, so unhealthy. They’re the zero-sum game.

For Will it’s: you love this terrible, terrible thing and you hate yourself for loving it, but also can’t deny it and it makes you feel alive. And for Hannibal, Will’s really the only person who can understand and accept him, but also is uniquely positioned to be able to lie to him, manipulate him in return, and be his utter ruin. They both tried to cut each other out and it didn’t work. So, can’t live with him and can’t live without him. That’s why we end with a cliff dive (impossible choice), Will can’t abide the thought that this thing that is objectively terrible, this ugly thing, is the thing he wants desperately, but he also can’t give it up. So it’s like, “let me try to do my last little bit to society by throwing both our asses off of this cliff b/c we’re both terrible.” Will is so interesting b/c he is at all times living in both the dark and the light and has trouble reconciling these opposing drives. It’s a function of his magic empathy.

(I think they’re metaphorical cliffs also b/c like.... there are no cliffs in Maryland jsyk. What is it with these shows that I like and Metaphorical Cliffs. Edit: I have been corrected there are some cliffs in Maryland but they're not as absurdly high as the ones in Hannibal.)

Anyway, let’s do the one-to-one and talk about Empathy and my Mirrorball boys first. Silver and Will are both extremely good at reading people, seeing what they most need to be, and shapeshifting into it. They both have the ability to shrug on different personas as easy as changing clothes. HOWEVER, the way in which they view this ability is very different. For Will, it’s a curse, he literally cannot turn it off, can’t stop himself from doing it, and it torments him. And I think for Silver, he also does it unconsciously and can’t help himself, but it’s not a torment in the same way. It’s rooted in survival and is an acquired skill that a very intelligent mind learned in order to stay alive. Though I would say they could commiserate on their mirrorball tendencies getting them into trouble/in over their heads.

As for Flint and Hannibal parallels? Well Hannibal is the unrepentant monster who revels in wickedness and largely views the rest of humanity as inferior. He’s having an absolutely excellent time murdering and cannibalizing folks, and the only real thorn in his side is Will Graham and his inability to kill Will b/c Hannibal loves him.

I think Hannibal is the absolute beast that Flint fears himself to be. And though both are presented as the “destructive orbit” or “intoxicating presence” and both perpetrate great violence... well they’re on opposite ends of the spectrum as far as how they view those behaviors. Flint is drowning in guilt constantly, hates that he has to be this monster, the persona of the dread pirate Captain, and that he’s losing more and more of his humanity every time he does some heinous shit. Whereas Hannibal is a “happy little duckling,” literally feels zero guilt about his heinous acts. Hannibal’s playacting a real man in a lot of ways while Flint is playacting a monster. So, Flint wears a monster suit and Hannibal wears a person suit.

Anyway, I could go on and on about this. The way they use supernatural elements, the way characters embed multiple meanings in subtextual dialogue, how well quotes from Silverflint can transfer to Hannigram and vice versa. Oh the way each show deals with like, queer issues, disability issues. etc etc ad infinitum

But I’ll let this be it for now, lol. If you wanna hear me ramble more, let me know~

THANKS AGAIN FOR ASKING.

#fictionandmusic #thoughts #hannibal #black sails #hannibal spoilers #black sails spoilers #hannibal/blacksails

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midnightsnapdragon · 3 years

Note

Oops I’m bad at tumblr. I think I’m supposed to use this thing lol: Yayyyy! I’m a huge fan of all your stuff on Ao3 and have been dying for more good Cresswell fic lately :) How about: “It still surprises him, sometimes.”

...

“Carswell?”

Thorne bites back a swear word and swivels around in his girlfriend’s office chair, grinning widely. “Cress! You’re back early!” With one hand behind his back, he tries to close the program he’d been snooping in.

Cress leans against the doorway of her office and gives him a shy look through her hair. “You know we have security cameras in here, right?”

Uh-oh. Thorne forces himself to keep grinning. “Yeah?”

“And I keep an eye on my office 24/7.” She waves her phone at him, where a little app shows him a bird’s-eye view of himself, seated at her computer.

A drop of sweat creeps down the back of his neck. Shell Tech is a top information security company, and Cress is known to be its secret weapon. That’s why he was sent here in the first place. Carswell Thorne is six months deep undercover trying to get Shell’s secrets out of this five-foot-tall, twenty-four-year-old nerd, and if he just blew his cover because he forgot to disable one camera, he is never going to hear the end of it from his bosses. “Right,” he says, tilting his head with a quizzical smile.

Cress laughs. “So if you were planning to surprise me, this kind of isn’t the best place to do it!”

Thorne relaxes. “Oh. Yeah, you got me. Kind of dumb, huh?”

Her eyes widen. “No!” She steps closer, her fingers knitted together in front of her stomach: a bashful gesture that he’s starting to see less and less as their relationship progresses. “No,” she says again. “It’s really sweet of you. I was actually thinking we could go out for drinks after work, if you’re not too ...” Then she sees the computer screen Thorne is trying to shield with his body. “... busy,” she finishes, frowning. “Is that ... the beta?”

He glances over his shoulder, as if in surprise. “Oh. I guess. Is that what you were working on?”

“It’s kind of an important project.” She lets her hands fall. Crap. She’s not in bashful mode anymore. “What were you doing here?”

If he doesn’t come up with a really, really good cover story in the next five seconds, he can say good-bye to both his mission and his career.

“Okay, full disclosure? I was trying to see your calendar,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck in a sheepish way. “I know your birthday is coming up, and I’ve always wanted to throw someone a surprise party. But you can’t exactly do that if the person is already busy, right?”

Cress’s face lights up. Without preamble, she throws her arms around him, and he catches her and hugs her close. With him in a seated position and her standing, there’s not even much of a height difference to deal with. In fact, he wouldn’t mind staying like this for a few minutes. But only because she’s warm and soft and smells nice. No one ever said you couldn’t find pleasure in your work.

“You were going to throw me a party?” The words are muffled against his neck.

Thorne smiles into her hair. “Yup. And invite all your coworkers who hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” she says unconvincingly. “I’m sure if they just gave you a chance ...”

“Well, then this is the perfect opportunity.”

Looks like his cover is still intact. Carswell Thorne, devoted romantic partner and thrower of parties. It still surprises him, sometimes, how utterly naïve this girl is, how trusting, and so tragically gullible. This isn’t even the first time she’s caught him trying to snoop on her tech conglomerate’s projects. Next time, he promises himself. Next time, I’ll get her secrets. I just need a little more time.

“Carswell?”

“Hm?”

“I really, really like you.”

Thorne becomes aware of a warm, expanding feeling behind his ribcage. He shuts his eyes and lets out a breath into Cress’s hair. “I really like you, too. But you already knew that.”

She pulls away. For a moment he’s afraid that she’s detected something in his voice, that he’s somehow given himself away, but her eyes are sparkling and her cheeks turning pinker every second.

“Yeah,” she says, smiling down at him. “I already knew.”

...

“Jeez, Cress. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Cress says, and pulls something out of her pocket. It’s a cell phone, smudged with fingerprints and locked with a measly 8-character code. “Here. I got something for you.”

Linh Garan, founder and CEO of Shell Tech, frowns at her across his desk, but he takes the phone and turns it over in his hands. “Is it his? The agent’s?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“How did you even get it?”

“I ... picked his pocket.” She feels unsure of herself just saying it, like she might be boasting or lying. But she’s not. She went through hours and hours of YouTube tutorials and even got Cinder, Garan’s adopted daughter, to practice with her. Which wasn’t hard, seeing as Cinder would have signed up for anything that made “that idiot American” look like a chump. In the end, Thorne hadn’t felt a thing when she slipped the phone from his jacket. Of course, she was hugging him at the time, and he was already flustered knowing he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Guilty people never consider the possibility that someone else might be deceiving them.

It still surprises her, sometimes. How easy it is to play someone who thinks they’ve got you wrapped around their finger.

Garan raises his eyebrows at the phone, clearly impressed. “Well, this is obviously Rikan-issue. We’ll do a full scan and decryption and have it back to you before you leave for drinks. If it’s his work phone, odds are we can get a lot of intel out of it. Good work, Cress.”

“Thanks.”

"And you know you don’t have to do this, right? Rikan’s the one that planted him here. We’d be well within our rights to fire him. Don’t feel pressured to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

Cress bites her lip. “I know. I won’t.”

“Good.”

When she leaves the office, she finds Thorne chatting up Michelle Benoit, co-founder of Shell Tech, who’s holding a coffee cup and nodding along politely to everything he says. Michelle has been twisting the necks off of farm chickens since she was a little girl, and she’s currently looking at Thorne like he’s a very noisy, very juicy chicken. Cress wants to be a grandma like her when she grows up.

“The work day’s not over yet,” she tells Thorne, sidling up to him in an apologetic sort of way. “You should probably let Michelle get back to work.”

Thorne makes Michelle an elaborate little bow. “Au revoir, Madame. Until le next time.”

Michelle smiles indulgently. “Ton français est franchement abominable. Je me demande quel bête t’a enseigné.”

Cress walks him to the exit, and as they walk he whispers, “What did she say? I didn’t get the last part.”

“She said your French is pretty good and you should come by again soon.”

“Ah,” he says, relieved. “Well, I’ll have to brush up on my Italian next. I hear it makes a very good impression with the ladies.” And as he opens the door, he leans back down to murmur lowly in her ear. “Non vedo l'ora di vederti stasera.”

Cress has no idea what that means, but her face goes tomato red anyway, and Thorne twinkles his eyes at her before disappearing into the street.

She’s going to have to wear something really distracting when he realizes who has his missing phone.

...

send me a prompt and I’ll write a quick(ish) drabble!

#the lunar chronicles #cresswell #cresswell fanfic #tlc fanfic #cresswell fanfiction #the lunar chronicles fanfiction

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mustloveshera · 4 years

Note

Ok, I watched the stream, and here's all I remember. 1) white dude who said the d slur said it bc it was in the name of a podcast of a participant or smth 2) Noelle said another crew member wanted to have a gag where Bows bros had rhyming names that are their jobs and she said he'd come up to her desk saying things like "which brother of Bows tills the fields" "what?" "Sow"

Also if you go to twitch tv /ericcgarneau the VOD's still up if you want to look thru it

------

thank you for the info!

i have no desire to see it myself--just wanted quotes and context so i wasn’t completely at the mercy of that bullet-point tweet’s horrible implications. i don’t rly care about interviews/livestreams in general tbh. i prefer relying on the show’s canon itself and just vaguely hearing about Word of God commentary through my dash.

my sister also randomly texted me this tweet thread which has actual quotes and context (cheeky r u reading my blog or are you psychic).

re: a male host (not crew member) saying “dyke” as part of the name of a podcast (presumably created by people who are dykes such as myself)...if i heard someone do that, i’d correct them, but i wouldn’t assume bad faith in this particular context. like, don’t do that, but, y’know.

re: saying DT was a “creep towards children” actually meaning that noelle mentioned that DT studies children to imitate their behavior...yeah i’m calling BS on that interpretation. DT specifically said they imagine kids falling down when trying to pretend to cry, so it fits their character, and it’s not predatory at all. EDIT: studied a child specifically because noelle thought it would be good strategy for DT to show up and not have their presence questioned because “this kid must belong to somebody and is totally harmless and isn’t out of place.” not “studied children in general at length” which still wouldn’t necessarily be creepy if they were doing it to take advantage of how people treat kids.

re: the “slavery jokes.” it’s not my place to comment on the “sow” issue, but i do think context is important for any POC to make their own judgment.

re: entrapta and hordak being good disabled representation... apparently this was just a fan question, and noelle didn’t directly comment on whether they were good rep, so like?? not sure why this was even included in the original tweet summary. i don’t feel comfortable speaking about chronic physical issues like hordak has, but i think entrapta is the best autistic rep i’ve ever seen even if there are major flaws. so, uh.

in general, context is important, and relying solely on vague one-sentence phrases that aren’t even direct quotes is bound to lead to misunderstandings.

...omg so i’m actually home rn and my sister is in the room next to mine and as soon as she texted me a link to that tweet thread she apparently heard me loudly and furiously typing lol.

EDIT: i listened to the clip excerpts and am only more annoyed now at how the livestream has been summarized. i invite you all to do the same if you haven’t already.

#discourse //#Anonymous

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kindlespice · 4 years

Photo

late ass replies but this time i have so much stuff to reply to that i actually need to split things up into categories :))))

also i apologize if any of this is no longer relevant / i am of absolutely no help :)))

otherwise, if you’ve asked a reshade related question...uh... sometime between christmas and now LMAO then it’s probably here!

nonny :

Hello Mikayla, I hope you're having a lovely year so far. I just wanted to ask this about the dove preshade (1st question here) kindlespice/tumblr/com/post/632163463099269120/ft-reshade-questions-a-theme-question-nonny i'm having the same problem, i have a new computer and after installing the game and it's last 3 updates and then the reshade it's not looking the same and it sucks bc i know how it's supposed to look (1)

the shadows are not as noticeable, the transparency between the walls is not there and the blur is gone (i have miiko´s ghibli's cloud override but i had that on my old computer and the reshade still looked normal) idk if it's the game or the reshade but it sucks bc i love how the original looks like anyways it would be really helpfull if you could answer. Take care and stay safe :))!!! (2/2)

hi hi! thanks for the kind message and i hope your year is going well! if I had to take a guess, I would say that maybe some of your settings in-game have changed? I would double check and make sure you’ve got edge smoothing off, and you could try turning off post-processing as well (im not ACTUALLY sure if turning off post processing does anything but it’s worth a shot!) otherwise i would try removing the preset and redownloading it? maybe the settings of the preset got jacked up and you can fix it by re-installing. let me know if this helps! if not, then you can always dm me so i can see pics of your situation!

nonny:

Hi! Sorry if this is worded odd but I just downloaded your Leif reshade and have completed all the steps, however there is still this blur over the screen which isn't the best for game play. If you could help explain how to toggle it for gameplay/cas that would be great :)

hi hi! the blur is the DoF (depth-of-field). it’s used for taking screenshots and is supposed to make the background all blurry. to disable it, you can use the hotkey shift-2 or open the reshade menu and manually untick the DoF option!

nonny:

Hi, i just installed the latest version of the dove preset and my game is dark. It is the MXAO that is doing it but i don't have the preprocessor definitions box. How do i fix it?

hello! im assuming you have a 4.0 version of reshade if you can’t find the box. in this version, it’s a blue tab called “Edit Global Preprocessor Definitions” beneath all the toggleable effects. if you have an earlier version, it should be under the “settings” tab at the top though.

nonny:

Hello!! Thank you so much for your work! I have a really quick question - so I am trying to work with the reshade and got it all set but when I play around with it, my objects don’t look “rounded”. If that makes sense. Other people who use it, their objects look rounded and smooth and just different (I have an image for reference) but mine just looks like the normal objects just different colors. Is there something I’m missing or doing something wrong? I have all the settings correct. :)

hi hi! hmm, im not really sure what that could be... probably something to do with mxao bc it’s always something to do with mxao lol. I would double check to make sure you have this line in your preprocessor definitions: RESHADE_DEPTH_INPUT_IS_REVERSED = 0 this line should equal 0 for the mxao to work properly. that might give you the “rounded” look. if this doesn’t fix it for you then you should go ahead and dm me so i can see what the game looks like!

nonny:

Hey, I tried your Dove preset but my game just can't handle it, it's pretty old and I just have to uninstall the reshade (even though I really loved the effect) but I'm scared to do anything in the Game folder or delete anything. Could you please help me with what to remove? I'm scared to break my game if I delete something that souldn't be deleted :( I tried searching for this in your WCIF and reshade questions and couldn't find an answear. Please help

hello! sorry to hear that your game can’t handle the preset :( here’s to hoping you can get an upgrade in the future! anyhow, to uninstall; i believe you only need to remove

ReShade - config settings (it’ll have a little paper w/ gear next to it)

d3d9.dll - application extension (it’ll have a little paper w/ gears ON it)

d3d9 - text document (little paper w/ lines icon)

reshade-shaders - folder

your reshade presets - config settings (if you remove the files above first though, you won’t be able to use/see these in-game)

that should uninstall reshade from your game! and don’t worry, if you accidentally remove something you didn’t want to, you can “verify your game files” through origin and that should restore any missing files. unless you.. *ahem*... acquired your game through other means... in which case be careful XD

@maddybarbz

Omg I don't know if you are active or not but I'm having some problems. So I downloaded the 3.0.8 and it was going smoothly but I loaded the game it said that magic bloom had issues.

i don’t know if im active either. probably not tbh XD but im here now so here ya go! i would recommend deleting the shaders you’re having problems with and then putting back the 3.0.8 shaders you downloaded. it’s really easy for things to break / be incompatible during the install so your best bet is always to delete the ones giving you trouble and put the new ones in.

@kaiamikulka

hi! I’ve been jealously stalking your page for a while, because I’m in love with the dove preset, but I’m very confused about how to download it. My computer keeps marking it as a virus, so i was kinda scared to download it. and when i finally did, it didn’t show up in my game. could you walk me through how to download it?(i have a pc laptop)

Thank you so much,

Kaia☺️☺️❤️❤️❤️

hi hi! lol im flattered for the jealousy stalk! anyway im not sure why it wouldn’t be showing up in game? unless you were so excited that you forgot to install reshade with it? i have a video here explaining how to install a recent version of reshade and set up dove with it so you can check that out here !

@bojanastarcevic

Hello, I've been trying to fix the dove reshade for a long time, but the new version just doesn't support it, and the old version spoils the game and sometimes it won't even start ... Would you consider trying to make the same preset version for the latest reshade version? I'll be very grateful because your preset is the most beautiful I have ever seen?! 😘😂Don't know if you still play of work on your game but like I said if you have time to try make new one couse everyone was looking for it!!! 😉😘😘😘

hi hi! i totally understand not using the earlier versions--these later ones are soo much more user friendly!--but i’ve been able to get the preset to work with later versions (4.7.0 is the latest i’ve tried though) and it looks, if not the same, then very close to the original. I have a video here explaining how i did it if you’re really eager to have it

in the future i guess i could try to re-release the preset? i can’t give you an eta bc im lazy and i fall off the face of the earth regularly, but i do think it would help to have updated instructions right on the face of the download.

#i think i might make another reshade video #one that's not an hour long and is more put together LMAO #like #i should actually go IN GAME to show people how busted reshade really is #XDD #rereleasing dove is probably the play too...#god i really wish i had put a read more on that post #:((((#asks #reshade

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boomstyle · 4 years

Text

Sonic Boom: Friend or Foe

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters and settings of Sonic boom. Oh, watch out for OCs!

Roboken War

(Force field cage)

Well, that was just as quick as it's. Now, where are we?

Tails and I reach the cage in just a zip. I thought Lyric will just put mind control device or at least send them far away from our reach. Well, I guess Lyric may not be as smart and cunning as I thought after all.

Speaking of cunning and smart, I can't stand a breathe anymore. I wish we can get out of here. Wait! We can't. Lyric closed the entrance of the central power station with a force field. I guess he's smart and cunning after all. Ugh...

While I was desperate to get out of the room, Tails was busy tinkering on the force field cage. Hurry up Tails, the gas is getting stronger. Now, I feel nauseous.

"Tails, would you mind speed it up a little?", I asked Tails politely.

"Sorry, Sonic. This may take a while. I can't find the key just yet. It must be somewhere up here.", Tails explain the technical thing but I am not sure what. What I really know is that I am gonna vomit for real.

(45 minutes later)

Ugh... What's taking Tails so long?

"Aha... I found it. The key to the force field was at the upper edge. Just gonna rotate it to the right and here it goes.", Tails was busy tinkering.

"Once I open the secret key, it will be easier to disable the force field."

"Yeah, Tails. Just pretend I don't hear it!", I replied in a cool manner. Not exactly a cool manner though, I was being slightly rude. If Amy heard me saying this, she might just taichi me or whip me or worse hit me with her so-called "legendary hammer". What's so legendary about her hammer? It's just a regular oversized hammer. Sometimes, I don't understand why she's super obsessive about her hammer. If she loses her hammer, she could have just fought in hand to hand or use her enerbeam whip or sword. I mean, she's athletic and has amazing martial art skills to top it off so she didn't really have to bother the whole team to search for her hammer or be like "My hammer is my whole identity. It's a gift from fate.". Tsk...whatever.

Yep, Archie Sonic Boom Issue 3 (HammerSpace). You got it. No need to beat the bush like that, Amy. I feel really bad for Sonic.

I was drowning in confusion until Tails snapped me out. He didn't exactly snap me out, more like bringing me to reality.

"Done it! I've taken out the force field from here.", Tails said in excitement. Team Cyborg is released from the cage. Now, time to open the forcefield!

"Oh, finally! Now, how do we open the forcefield barrier, Cyborg me?", I asked in desperation and relief at the same time.

"Right here!", Cyborg Sonic replied. What? The forcefield entrance key was literally close to us but I see nothing.

"Where? It's just a freaking wall?", I scolded him out of impatience. Ugh, I can't take it anymore. The gas...(cough)...

"Just do as I said!", Cyborg Sonic instructed.

"Fine! Just gonna touch this...(surprised) wall (slowly)", I am stunned. I can't believe it. They're right. Just gonna press the bottom and it's done.

"Yay, we did it! Teamwork rocks! Now, let's move it!"

Just as I thought our business is done from the moment we escape from the central power station filled with gas and traps. I was hell wrong. I heard an invisible siren tone with a beaming red background while we ran away. Talking about disco light, this is worse.

*Lol* (Remember when Dave fool himself in "Next Top Villian", Sonic Boom Series Season 1.)

(Siren Alarm Beam Tone)

"Ugh... Come one! We just escape from it.", I complained.

"Sonic, our escape caused the siren to beam. So this is expected.", Tails calmed me down.

"But we just get out like a few hours ago.", I argued. Technically, it's been 45 minutes but it feels like hours already.

"Are you guys done with your blabber, Sonic?", Cyborg Amy shouted. Ooo... She's just as scary and temperamental as Amy.

"Fine! I'll shut it."

"Good. Let's keep moving! We didn't have all day."

Okay, okay, Amy! Is it necessary for you to be so demanding? Just chill out, Cyborg Amy! Regardless, she's right. There's no time to waste. If we don't get out, we might as well got caught by Lyric. Yep, we did.

"Where are you going right now?", Lyric asked.

"You think you can escape from me, Sonic. Think again!"

"Rise my armies! I command you to finish them once and for all!"

"We can call your robot quit in just a zip, Snake-head.", I deride Lyric confidently.

The infected robots shoot lasers at us as instructed. Tails and I started off dodging their attacks while Team Cybonic launched their special attacks. Well, more like duplicates of our attacks. Hehe...

Just as the battle started, my gangs came to my aid. Oh, just in time but where's Shawn? I mean, the East bender faker. Yeah, he must be planning this whole thing. I bet but regardless, I am glad that my team to the rescue. As I dodge a laser, I spot FriendBot along with Amy, Knuckles and Sticks arrive at the scene and prepare for combat.

"Anyone need some backup?", Amy asked.

Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks charge down and destroy some robots. Sonic dashes towards Amy.

"Amy. I'm glad you're here.", I started a conversation but Amy just shrugged me off. I wonder what's bugging her. Surely, Shawn must have manipulated her. Now, that she ignored me as if I didn't exist. This is just not like her.

"Oh, so you're just gonna ignore me, your boyfriend. Alright, sure. Go ahead."

Oops, did I just said b-word out loud? Not that I care or whatever but we're totally busted right now.

"Hmph... Like I even have one...", Amy shrugged me off.

Oh, is that it? You're just going to going to act negatively out of character toward me. That's it, I had it enough of your rudeness. This is just not you. He's literally turning you into a cold-headed girl. I know she can get temperamental, snarky, rude, or slightly selfish at some point but this is way too far.

"That's it, Ames. I had it enough. If you want to break up, just say so. (punch and kick robot nearby) No need to buzz over me like that.", I confronted her.

"You're saying I got too far. Well, that describes you, Mr. Hedgehog. The way you treated Shawn was totally unacceptable. And besides, you're not so good after all. You're snarky, reckless, messy worker, impatient and impulsive.", Amy talked back.

"Like you have the best personality, I'm sick of your bossy, demanding, and overbearing attitude behind your mature act.", I argued her back.

"I was doing it for your good. You could get a little bit too far with your prank games, jokes or worse run head log in trouble. So I have to step in AS THE MOTHER FIGURE OF THE GROUP(shouted and smash the robot)", Amy defended.

"Yeah, like I need one.", I grunted.

"That's the problem with you. You act as if you're the coolest top speedy hedgehog ever but you're not thoughtful. The way you badmouth and suspect Shawn when you yourself were the one who introduced it to the whole team explains it. You're saying you're responsible for him but what I got is empty promises.", Amy berated me while she was busy beating robots near her just like I did. Speaking of which, what she said reminds me when I introduced Egg man's so called brother without even consulting the whole team. She's kinda right at this. I should have been more considerate and premediated next time. The way I just invite Shawn and Steve Eggman in the group without much consideration indicate my impulsiveness. Looks like I really realized how impulsive and unthoughtful I have been but still, she's literally overreacting just like usual. Thus, why should I be blamed for it?

"Oh come on, why do I get blamed for it? You're literally falling your heels over him anyway so why should I have to get the portion of the blame?", I threw the blame on her. I admitted I am being impulsive and inconsiderate considering how I just invite Shawn in without any consultation.

"Responsibility, Sonic! You can't just introduce someone and suddenly come up with a conclusion that his guy is bad when YOU CAN'T EVEN PROVE IT!", Amy reasoned with me. In some way, she's right but she just didn't understand the issue here. Shawn is...

"Yeah, you're right. I don't have proof but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. You know why? HERO!", I am enraged and boastful, yes and I don't care.

"That's it! I can't take it anymore. You, sir, are impetuously boastful and arrogant being. Have you even take my feeling into account when you said that? it's like you don't consider me a girlfriend anymore. You know what, let's break up!", Amy leashed out on me.

"You wanna break up. FINE! Who wants to be with a Bloodthirsty and indicative hedgehog in a cute and friendly package?", I said.

"And who wants an egomaniac, reckless and immature guy in a speedy hero PACKAGE?", Amy retaliated. She's going super angry and yep, this is good and bad at the same time.

"HAYAK(smash)... (spin hammer attack other robots)... (pull the further robot near her with enerbeam rope) HAYAK (smash, smash, smash until every infected robot disintegrated)... (stand in her ninja-style pose)Ha... Time to take on, Lyric."

Just as we broke up, Amy turned into a temperamental monster. Then, she started to crash all of the infected robots in just a zip. Sticks, Knuckles and Tails as well as our cyborg duplicates are unimpressed. Wow, I was surprised they're not shocked at our break up and Amy's sudden temperamental combat.

"What a lovely couple indeed? I suspect that the alien overlord must have spelled them apart.", Sticks said.

"To be frank, this robot apocalypse has sent Amy mad too.", Cyborg Sticks said. Well, she's partially right. The robot apocalypse really sent Amy crazy after the break-up. Not the best answer you've got, Cybonic Sticks but you sure have Sticks' paranoid DNA with you. Am I okay? Why do I agree with Sticks' paranoid statement now? Oh no, if this happens again, I might need to consider seeing a psychiatrist.

"I don't know Sticks but surely, the secretive skinny couple has finally come to a devastating breakup. If Sonic and Amy were the one, I may be gigging out in shame.", Cyborg Knuckles replied sadly.

"Yeah. Not cool, Sonic. First, you deny that you dated Amy and now, you just let Amy cut off the relationship.", Knuckles said while holding his clenched fist.

"Well, this gets little it out of hand. let's just help Amy fight off Lyric!", Cyborg Sonic said.

"Yeah", Team Cybonic and my gangs except Knuckles and Amy agreed.

While they're battling Lyric, we're in the middle of a pointless argument because of Knuckles. This is the first time we ever battle each other in the middle of a war.

"Knuckles, don't get me started!", I ordered. What the heck is wrong with Knuckles? Sure we kept the relationship in secret and just broke up but this is not an excuse for Knuckles to just burst up like that.

"Do you think I'm not smart, Sonic?", Knuckles asked.

"What? Not, it's not that... It's just", I tried to persuade him but Knuckles cut me off.

"It's just that I'm not smart enough to figure it out that you're dating.", Knuckles straightened his point. What? I don't mean to hide our relationship just to shame you. It's just that it's not a good time yet. If Eggman and other villains know about our relationship, the worst scenario is that the whole team and anyone related to us would be in a threatening situation. Seriously, Eggman may not be you know the victorious one but he's surely dangerous when unexpected. And besides, the group will be awkward if everyone knows we date.

"What's up, Sonic? Scared of me?"

"Knuckles. this is madness. You got to snap out, man. That snakehead was literally your battle.", I persuaded while trying to dodge his punches. I don't want to attack him. He's my friend.

"I've heard you said enough already"

We battle with each other until we heard Amy, Tails, and Sticks as well as our duplicates got smacked down in the middle of battle.

"Guys! Oh no!", Knuckles and I gulped.

"At last, I finally got to end you after a thousand years.", Lyric smirked while approaching us.

"I guess it's the end of Team Knuckles", Knuckles said. Team? Oh, forget it! I'm not going to argue. Besides he's right. It's the end of Team Son...ic.

"Lyric, I said I will find you", Shadow appeared. Uuu... Looks like the edgelord will end the robot apocalypse. He must have a reason as to defeat Lyric. He will not just be here to save us but anyway, it's our lucky day.

Shadow punch out Lyric and take out his technopathy. As the result, everything was back to normal except that all Roboken's army got dismantled, and yeah, things get messed up when Shawn approached in.

ugh... Finally, it's nearly the end of the book chapter. Sorry, I got too personal with the Sonamy relationship and rivalry between Knuckles and Sonic but I just can't help it. Anyway, How do you think Shadow and Shawn were able to come in? What will be the consequences afterward? Find out in the next chapter.

#Boom!Tails #boom!sonic #boom!amyrose #BOOM!SHADOW #Boom!Knuckles #sticks the badger #cyborg #lyrictheancient #breakup #loveandrelationship #coupleissue #robot apocalypse #robotbattle #intrigue #Friend or Foe? [Anonymous]#friendship #sonicboom #sonic the hedgehog #sonicfanfiction

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beizhuo · 3 years

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alright folks , i made this post last night about amending my carrd rules . & now , after calming somewhat down from getting sick to my stomach about it , i must now make one final update post about this to make people really & fully understand where i stand . why ? because i am , once again , having / needing to finely comb through the people i want to follow & interact with due to some very , VERY toxic behavior & terrible , childish individuals that think its real cute to stalk , harrass , steal , & gatekeep folks .

understand that i will NOT be namedropping anybody in this post . this is not my intention . i am not out here to isolate folks or make people ‘ chose sides ’ . making people do that is absolutely horrible ! i do not give a damn who other people interact with . i do , however have extreme issues with theft ( amongst other things ) . i can draw a god damn line at theft !

harassment ? don’t care . you’re trolling , i can ignore you . gatekeeping . you’e petty and attention seeking im here for friends anyway . but actual literal theft - i can draw a line there . please get out & OFF MY BLOG if you are so unoriginal that you haveta steal from me or my friends !

please know that you can interact with those thieves & gatekeepers , i don’t care ! but understand that i will most likely softblock you because i genuinely do not want them to find me . no hard feelings . ( they have found my other 2 blogs , and i am tired of them finding me ! especially for baizhu ! i don’t even follow some of my friends here cause of this ! ) i am not even in the genshin community to begin with . my group ? we don’t do communities for toxic behavior and people being so exclusive to the point of driving people out & away . its distasteful and mean ! do you know that i have some friends that were cut off from communities entirely all because they were a dupe ? tHAT is the kind of dupe drama i fucking hate . along with theft . anyway . i will start from the beginning of my rules that i deem important .

DUPLICATES . ( AND MIMICRY / THEFT )

the irony that this is the first point . it is like it was a wonderful transition . anyway . this is actually having to deal with two rule points . and i want to group them together cause they are related .

myself & a few other people have come to find out that .... there is somebody AT THE VERY LEAST taking inspo from us . i will start with dupes .

my friend has a character and was WHOLLY mistaken for another mun . which is fine . that happens , but things took a turn for the worse when they were then shunned / cut off because they werent ‘ good enough ’ . do you know how HORRIBLE that is ? to be told that you aren’t good because you weren’t the mun that they wanted ? this is the type of shit i cannot stand with dupe drama . DO NOT EVER COMPARE DUPES WITH ONE ANOTHER !!! i mean it .

i follow different childes ! and you know what i adore them both . they are both amazing !

sure i may have my mains / exclusives ( and im not inclined to interact with other blogs of that same character ) but i still like portrayals . i do , in fact , just READ threads sometimes . i don’t necessarily follow for interactions . like ffs man . i like variety . jesus christ .

going to mimicry / theft . you know ... i have fucking seen this with a couple of friends . there is a difference between coincidental similarities , however ! for myself & for my friends , we have SEEN inspo taken from us . im gonna say this really loud for people .

MIMICRY IS NOT FUCKING FLATTERY .

do not take inspo from me . especially without credit . absolutely do NOT do it . you are very unoriginal for doing that shit .

now , you like something i make / made ? you are inspired to want to make something ? fine , that’s okay , you can ALSO fucking ask me , you can also credit me . as you fucking should ! you can notify me and go , damn , i really like your style , do you mind if i use it in xyz ? sure , go right ahead . do it . im begging you , go ahead and do it IF YOU FUCKING ASK ME . god im so fucking angry about this , but this is some vile shit . and im angry .

i am angry and terrified cause i literally cannot get away from these people cause they seem to be wherever i go . i DO NOT DO COMMUNITIES BECAUSE OF THIS .

as a good friend said : it’s like they are a virus that you cannot get rid of .

thats what happens with attention seekers unfortunately , but for the sake of my safety & health , i will not have it on my blog or dash . if i see these people on my dash often , i will unfollow .

and it isn’t like a specific person , its a GROUP of people . which leads me to my next point .

DRAMA / CALLOUTS.

imagine having beef with an individual , and then going around and gatekeeping that individual and getting people to unfollow / block them . im not talking about , ‘ hey this person is vile because they ship incest ’ . i am talking about ‘ i had a disagreement with this person & they hurt my feelings >:/ they are mean and will hurt you . etc etc etc . ’

i do not give a flying fuck about somebodies issues with another person . so you guys don’t get along . not my problem . i have people that hate me . i have friends where i hate their friends . shit happens . i am probably absolute scum to some people lol . i get mistaken for other people sometimes . it’s fine , hate me cause you think im that person . that person is snowflake repellent anyway , go choke on your kool aide that you are drinking ig .

okay sorry i am angry but still . people claim and cry about wanting to talk & communicate . but then . guess what . sometimes shitty people are like , so this person said this to me , and they are mean . IF YOU ARE THE PERSON THAT GOES ‘ OH MY GOD HOW DARE THEY ’ AND BLOCK THEM THEN YOU ARE THE PROBLEM . i will give an example . of using my two names that i have .

somebody goes to amphy and says ‘omg ghost said this , and im frustrated and angry with them cause what he said was uncalled for . ’ if amphy goes ‘ omg ghost is shitty ’ and then unfollows / blocks them without any other discussion , then thats an issue cause ghost has no idea wtf happen . amphy got involved in YOUR relationship with ghost even though ghost has been nothing but kind and sweet to you . you also don’t know if amphy is just victimising or being emotional either . so why they fuck would you believe somebody who is venting to you about it and then block somebody who did literally NOTHING to you .

i dont know if i explained that correctly but i will give you something more realistic , again without namedropping .

i have a few friends that hate one another . i’ve known all of them for years . but they all , i kid you not , they ALL fucking hate each other . there’s three of them . and they cannot stand each other . i just happen to be somebody who gets along with all of them . you bet your ass that at one point , they all came to talk mad shit about the others . what did i do ? i went , oh okay . well im sorry that you have issues with them . sounds like a bad experience , but i can’t do anything about that cause i am not you and i am not them . if you are gonna change my mind , it isn’t gonna happen , sorry !

i have had people shit talk people i have no idea who they are , and i just sit here just being a source for them to vent , but i never NEVER EVER act on anything i hear . why ? cause its petty drama and gossip . if you do that , then damn , sorry kiddo , get some help on that alright ? maybe be nicer . i dunno .

now . racism ? pedophilia ? incest ? HARMFUL SHIT ? that’s different . but again , theres a lot of miscommunication . i have people coming and pulling the cards like they are hot shit and that isn’t fucking cute . THAT ISN’T CUTE GUYS . you are the problem if you try to victimize yourself cause of something YOU misinterpreted .

i have a friend that has this on their blog .

i am literally going off on a god damn tangent . anyway . :)

fuck you if drink kool aide .

THERE ARE OTHER MENTAL DISORDERS! YOU ARE ABLEIST IS YOU ERASE THE OTHER (UN)COMMON ONES.

i know that autism is the ‘common’ one here . you are valid okay . but guess what . ADHD , BPD, DiD, and straight up depression and anxiety are also things as well ! there are MANY folks here that are also undiagnosed as well OR they lay on some sort of spectrum as well . I am once again not going to disclose my own things here cause again THAT IS PRIVATE INFO , but fuck you if you refuse to see other disabilities .

also there are physical disabilities as well btw .

if you are not understanding of any other disability , or you wanna mute / deafen other mental disorders , YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM .

end of story .

treat other people how you want them to treat you and don’t you dare ever shove your baggage at them . thanks .

please be more understanding that some people are not okay:tm: .

i implore you to get help if you need help , but sometimes some people dont have to take your shit . and they most certainly do not need to sit and take your issues if they are not okay either . its toxic and very unhealthy behavior to expect others to help you . they can help you as best as they can , but you need to understand that everybody has their moments . do not guilttrip them . do not gaslight them .

but also understand that sometimes , people are saying things cause they genuinely need help ! you can be there for them but as a friend , you need to also tell them your own boundaries as well and tell them that they need to seek professional help .

but also , if somebody refuses to get help , then that is on them . not on you .

anyway another tangent , but back to the point . autism , while you need to understand is something you need to see and understand , is not the only mental disorder ! and you need to understand that some people suffer from really REALLY shitty things and are sometimes undiagnosed . i am really REALLY tired of depression , ADHD , BPD, and DiD getting brushed under the rug like they are not important . cause guess what , there are spectrums ! all mental health is important . fuck you if you disregard the other disorders , you are being ableist .

STOP HATE READING PEOPLE.

im really sick and tired of this . you don’t like something somebody said ? you can either : ask what they meant or block / unfollow them .

DO NOT FUCKING STALK THEM EITHER .

you have an obsession if you hover on their blog too .. do not do that . that is SO unhealthy for you . here is what a friend said on twitter . ( not name dropping them , just copy pasting them )

❛ i stg people need to fine a better hobby than to hate read a persons blog or profile. not a good look on you when you go and read what they post about just to get angry at something you think they said and then you go off spewing lies about it cause 'youre offended.'

like you already hate them in the first place. you weren’t 'looking to see if they were a better person.' youre just looking to find another thing to hate about them.

that is what hate reading is about. so you can read their posts and find just another reason to hate and laugh at how bad you think they are.

but it doesnt make you a better person. it just makes you a sad person with no life. stop hate reading people. grow tf up. go breathe on some plants or something idk.

i say this very loud and clear . if you hate read me , i live in your head rent free . not my problem . but it does become my problem if you begin to steal shit and start spewing lies about myself or my friends . grow up and move on with your life . sorry my life seems more interesting than you ig . idk .

anway this got long , and at this point i am going off on a tangent but !!!!

TL ; DR

read my rules ig . idk .

you can dm me for more info if you want . at this point i have blocked the problem blogs for myself. if you are curious you can ask . HOWEVER. i am not going to tell you to block or unfollow . why ? cause at the end of the day , it is MY beef . this are my issues . i am NOT here to gatekeep .

i will say that i will tell you IN private the for MY story . but keep in mind that it is MY story . not yours . not theirs . it is all about perception .

my perception is that they are scummy gatekeeping thieves . they gatekeep the people they dont like or are intimidated by . i am somebody who fucking bites and calls people out on their shit , because of this ? i make enemies . but my enemies are not yours . i dont care . dont give a damn . i am intimidating to people who are cowards and i don’t care .

if they feel bad when i call them out , if they try to go around and do damage control , then that means they are guilty .

and then you can ask yourself this : why are they reacting like that ?

i am once again going to bring up that other twitter user that i quoted before .

❛ you dont like hearing that because someone is holding a mirror up to you and it makes you uncomfortable because you know you . and you know the parts of you that are good . so in your heart you have to come up with a narrative that makes you feel better about the fact that somebody is asking your to confront the parts about yourself that you hate the most .

anyway . this got long . im so sorry for the long read . im so sorry i sounded hostile ad angry . im just volatile sometimes . im just really tired . and i dont need to come on this blog and have a panic attack .

anyway . cheers loves ! stay happy , stay healthy . drink your fluids . take your meds !

#long post.#update tbd.#ooc tbd.#// i have no idea what else to tag this tbh .#there is drama mentions though so there is that i guess ?#but this is all important so ...#anyway ...#read / skim this or perish 🔪#also if you wanna like this to let me know you read / agree with this go ahead .#im not checking for typos i am tired .

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