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#but I am the person who will be like ‘hey can we write about the stigma that drug users face? yeah I know we have advertisers I don’t care’
simplygojo · 2 days
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Public Display of Humiliation
Author’s Note: Hey friends!!! I wrote this little blurb a while ago and figured I’d post it now since I am just working away on a few of y’all’s requests! TYSM to everyone who has requested something, I love all the ideas so much and I LOVE Y’ALL!!!
I hope you enjoy this short blurb, this is my first shorter piece of writing!:) Also, heads up for you beautiful people, I am doing something super special to give back to y’all when I reach 1k followers (we are 140 away!)!!!
Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!reader
Inspiration/summary: Gojo gets a kick out of embarrassing you—he likes to watch how flustered you get trying to shut down his antics—he likes to watch the pink warmth rush to your cheeks as he makes you the centre of attention, at all times.
Word Count: 0.8k (blurb/hc)
Warnings: Second hand embarrassment hehe, not even edited once
Requests are open! Please read the Request Guidelines before submitting a request <33
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Gojo absolutely lives to embarrass you in public. It’s like he makes it his personal mission to see how red your face can get before you explode from sheer humiliation.
Whether it’s dragging you through busy malls, crowded streets, or even your local café, nowhere is safe from his antics.
It usually starts off innocent enough—just the two of you grabbing coffee or shopping for the day. You’ll be holding his hand, trying to pretend like he isn’t up to something (which, of course, he always is), and that’s when it happens.
Out of nowhere, Gojo stops in the middle of the crowd, wraps your arm around his waist, pulling you closer as he trapped your hand.
“Excuse me!” He’d shout, catching the attention of every passerby.
“Can someone help me? This woman’s trying to kidnap me!” His voice echoes through the busy walkway, and you feel every single pair of eyes turning toward you.
People whisper, some are confused, others look concerned. Your heart drops, and you try to pull away, but his grip tightens as he grins down at you with those impossibly blue eyes sparkling with amusement.
“Gojo, stop it!” You hiss through clenched teeth, trying to maintain some dignity. But he just tilts his head, giving you the most innocent look he can muster.
“Why? Are you denying that you’re my kidnapper? Look at her, everyone!” he laughs, holding you even closer.
The worst part? People start smiling, realizing it’s all a joke, and suddenly you’re the center of attention while he’s just standing there, thriving off your embarrassment.
And when he’s not making you the subject of some dramatic performance in public, he’s pulling his other favorite move—telling strangers you’re related. Just as you’re about to pay at the cashier or make a casual purchase, he’ll lean in casually, completely straight-faced, and say,
“Yeah, she’s my favourite cousin.” The poor cashier or barista just looks between the two of you awkwardly, especially since you both *look nothing alike*. But before you can even open your mouth to correct him, he grabs your face, cupping your cheeks in his hands, and plants the most obnoxious, lingering kiss on your lips.
You go completely still, your face burning hot as you feel everyone around you pause in shock, wondering what kind of "relationship" you two really have. And when Gojo finally pulls away, he does it slowly, like he’s savoring every second of your mortification.
“What? I can’t kiss my *cousin*?” he’ll say, feigning innocence while the smirk tugging at his lips betrays him.
“Oh my god Satoru please shut up—That’s not true!” You’d shout, trying to hide the visible embarrassment you were in.
The people nearby exchange confused, amused glances while you stand there, frozen and speechless, torn between wanting to crawl into a hole and slap the smirk right off his face.
His favorite stunts are always the unexpected ones. You’ll be walking side by side, and out of nowhere, he’ll scoop you up, throwing you over his shoulder like some kind of damsel in distress.
“Help! Help! Someone call the cops, I’m being abducted by this woman!” He’d yell as you pound your fists against his back, furiously kicking your legs while people stare, laughing at the absurdity of it all.
He’d carry you around like that for a good minute or two, even stopping to chat with strangers while you’re still dangling over his shoulder, your face practically glowing with embarrassment.
And of course, no one ever takes him seriously.
They laugh along with him, completely entertained by his theatrics while you’re left to deal with the humiliation. Every time you beg him to stop, he just grins and says, “Aww, come on, y/n. You look so cute when you’re flustered.”
It’s infuriating, the way he can so effortlessly push your buttons and have you turning red in seconds, all while he’s cool, calm, and utterly shameless.
But as much as you hate to admit it, you know that deep down, he loves it. Seeing you flustered, watching you get all worked up, is his favorite kind of entertainment.
And no matter how embarrassed you get, no matter how many times you threaten to never go out with him again, he never stops.
Because, in Gojo’s mind, teasing you in public is just another way of showing how much he loves you—even if it does mean turning you into a blushing mess in front of half the city.
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lilacbunnygirl · 3 days
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bitch,uber to my d*ck
uber driver gojo x fem reader
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➵ summary: after that “terrible” sex you had that night, you go to a bar. seeing you drunk until closing time, the bartender calls you an Uber. you never imagined the driver could be this sexy and straightforward. who knows, maybe after that “terrible” sex, he might give you a good one…
➵ warnings: this story contains +18 content (alcohol, car sex (reader on top), unprotected sex, oral sex (f and m receiving) ) so minors don’t interact!!
➵ author’s note: hello everyone! i was supposed to write the third chapter of “black cat luck”, but i’ve been very busy this week. yesterday, an idea came to me. why am i not writing about the uber driver gojo? I just thought it’ll be so fun and dirty to write! i hope you’ll like it. i’ll also share this story on ao3, so if you like to support me, my account is here. and lastly i have no hatred for turtles, and i never will! you’ll understand what i mean once you read the story. sending love to everyone <333 lilacbunnygirl
➵ word count: 4,791
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You definitely shouldn’t have drunk this much tonight. It was already Monday, and you had a very important presentation. Working in an advertising company was a highly stressful job. Convincing the client to like your ideas and then landing the job was a feeling you had never experienced before. But this time, everything was going to be different. During the brainstorming meeting, your project director loved the slogan you came up with for crackers and wanted you to handle the presentation.
“Eat until you’re full, if you can of course!”
You never understood why he liked it. In fact, it could easily be seen as quite suggestive. It sounded like, instead of crackers, a penis came to mind. But of course, this wasn’t a fake penis ad… Still, it seemed like a memorable slogan.
Right now, you should have been home, asleep. It was 2 a.m. You were going to get up in about 5 hours to go to work. But after that “stress-relieving sex before a presentation,” you definitely needed a drink. Or maybe a few…
You thought it was a good idea to relax by having sex the day before the presentation. Let go of all the stress and just focus on pleasure… After a long time, you re-downloaded Tinder and matched with a guy who seemed really attractive. What both of you wanted was clear. A hot night. You started getting ready 4 hours before the date. You took a shower. Shaved your legs and bikini area. You even exfoliated to make your skin soft. Afterward, you poured yourself some white wine, turned on your music to set the mood, and began preparing. Nothing could ruin your mood today. After the final touches on your makeup, you looked in the mirror. You really looked “fuckable.”
When you arrived at the meeting place, the guy greeted you very well. A delicious meal, light touches, and wine had already put you both in the mood for sex.
Of course, that was until you got into bed…
With those memories, you hit your drunk head against the bar counter again. You thought to yourself, “Goddamn it.” You had bad sex experiences before, but this one… was so bad that it was beyond words.
None of the places he kissed, touched, or licked managed to get you wet. Maybe the part where he fingered you (or we can say tried to) wasn’t too bad, but the moment he entered you, the pain you felt and his weird groaning sounds confirmed that today was going to be awful.
Who the hell groaned like a turtle? You had nothing against turtles. But hearing those noises from the person in front of you completely killed your libido. Sure, turtles groaning during sex was cute and funny, but the person in front of you wasn’t a turtle.
You banged your head on the counter again and sighed. Realizing there was only a drop of your drink left, you raised your head and downed the last of it. Then you looked at the bartender, whose vision was debatable due to your drunken state.
“Hey! You were supposed to stop me after my third drink.”
The bartender, as he put down the glass he was cleaning, replied, “My job is to serve drinks, not stop you from drinking.”
You frowned and said, “I thought they helped in the movies.”
The bartender grinned. “Exactly, because they’re movies. Also, if you’re going to throw up, please don’t do it on the counter. We’re closing soon, and I don’t want to go home late because of cleaning the bar table. The bathroom’s right there.”
You looked in the direction he pointed, but since you were so drunk, everything looked like it was swaying.
“Oh, don’t worry, I don’t feel sick, I just drank wayyyy too much. At home, 2 glasses of wine, at the date 2 glasses, and when I got here…” You tried to count how much you’d drunk on your fingers, but the bartender answered for you, “Six. Six glasses of whiskey. My god, how are you still alive?”
“Don’t worry, after everything I went through today, I really needed it.”
“I probably shouldn’t ask, but… did you have a bad date?”
You steadied your spinning head with your hand propped on the counter. “The worst. I mean, everything started out great. But when we got to the part we both wanted the most… POOF, the whole vibe was gone.”
The bartender laughed at your story and said, “Hmm. So it was bad sex i guess.”
You slammed your hand on the counter and said, “Oh my god, the worst. For the first time in my life, I had sex with a turtle…”
The bartender looked at you in shock after your last words. “Okay! Maybe I really should have stopped you after that third drink.”
“I’m serious! He was like a turtle. Ugh, no, I think I’m going to cry. I just wanted to relax before my big presentation. A good night of sex, some hot moments… You know, a nice way to release the stress. But the only thing today has left me with is being too drunk. Oh, and turtle trauma.” After finishing your story, you rested your head back on the counter.
“Then I probably shouldn’t tell you about my pet turtle, Dorothy.”
You quickly lifted your head off the counter. “NO, PLEASE DON’T!”
The bartender laughed while cleaning more glasses. “Don’t worry, I won’t. But a little advice for you: you really shouldn’t be drunk the night before a presentation, beautiful. It’s almost 3 a.m. and you should be sleeping in your bed right now, not sitting here talking about turtle man you had sex with.”
Whether it was the bad experience or the alcohol, the bartender’s words had suddenly turned you on. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but everything you’re saying is making me want to fuck you even more. Please call me ‘beautiful ’ again.”
The bartender laughed genuinely as he hung the clean glasses on the bar rack. “Alright then, I’ll be honest. I would definitely love to fuck you, beautiful. But not while you’re in this state. I don’t know what happened today with that turtle guy, but if I had been in his place, I wouldn’t have stopped until you’d come at least five times, with my tongue deep inside you to help you forget all the stress.”
Every word he said made your eyes widen even more. Holy shit, you were really wet now. And the bartender had managed that without even touching you.
“I… I think I’m wet.”
A sweet smile appeared on the bartender’s face. “Remember when I showed you the bathroom, darling?” You nodded your head in agreement. You didn’t actually remember, but you’d figure it out somehow. “Alright, do you think you can go on your own? Wash your face and try to pull yourself together. I’ve got a few more glasses to clean up over here. After that, I can call a cab to get you home.”
You nodded again, and despite wobbling a bit, you managed to make it to the bathroom. After splashing cold water on your face, you felt a little better. Even though you wanted him to make you come 5 times with his mouth, right now wasn’t the time. When you got back, the bartender had finished his work and was waiting for you at the front of the bar, holding your coat and bag.
“Welcome back! Feeling better?”
“Yes. But my head is still spinning. Could I give you my phone to call an Uber? I don’t think I can manage to enter the address myself.”
The bartender helped you into your coat and took your phone. He asked for your address. After stuttering a little, you finally told him, and he typed it in.
“Alright, it’ll be here in five minutes. Do you want to step outside for some fresh air?”
“Please…”
He supported you as you walked toward the exit. About seven minutes later, a black car pulled up in front of the bar. Once you realized it was your ride, you turned to the bartender and said, “Thanks for everything.”
The bartender gave you a sweet smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop you after your third drink, beautiful.” He planted a soft kiss on your cheek and said, “Take care, and by the way, my name’s Choso.”
Damn… if only I weren’t so drunk, you thought to yourself before waving goodbye and getting into the car.
After getting in, the driver started the car and began driving towards your house.
“Seems like someone can’t leave their lover behind,” the driver said.
You lifted your head and looked at him. With nearly white hair and sunglasses worn for no apparent reason at this hour he didn’t exactly exude reliability.
“I wish he were my boyfriend. But he just helped me pull myself together. Why do bartenders have to be so handsome?”
“Hmm… he really sounds like a gentleman. So, may I ask why you’re this drunk, sweetheart?”
“I had sex with turtle man.”
The driver let out a loud laugh, as if he hadn’t heard something so funny in a long time. “Oh, sounds fun. But you don’t seem too happy about it.”
Sighing, you replied, “When he couldn’t get me wet no matter what he did, and then started moaning like a mating turtle… yeah, I guess I wasn’t too happy.”
The driver spoke excitedly, “OH MY GOD, I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING AS FUNNY AS MOANING TURTLES!” But then, seeing your unhappy face through the rearview mirror, he added, “Of course, that’s just for turtles. If someone I was fucking made that noise, I’d be upset too.”
“Forget it. At least I have a funny story to tell people. I just… really needed to relax before my big presentation tomorrow, but everything got ruined.”
A sly grin appeared on the driver’s face after what you said. “You should’ve tried hooking up with the bartender.”
You quickly shifted your gaze from the road to the rearview mirror. The driver’s mischievous smile was awakening strange feelings inside you. Damn, could someone’s smile be that attractive? And why were you getting turned on so easily? First the bartender, now the driver…
“Actually, he said he wanted to sleep with me, but not in this state.”
“How unfortunate… because I would’ve definitely pinned you to the bar table and screwed you without caring if you were drunk or not, sweetheart.”
Wait… what?
“Excuse me?”
The driver laughed, “What? Weren’t you the one who wanted to relax?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then like I said, I would’ve fucked you so well, you’d have no strength left to go to work.” After stopping at a red light, the driver turned to look at you. “Want to give it a try?”
“Am I in a porno right now, or are you seriously saying this? Damn it, I shouldn’t have had six drinks!”
With a cocky smirk, he said, "Oh, trust me, this isn't a porno, sweetheart. Right now, alll want is to take you to an empty, quiet parking lot just eight minutes away and fuck you until you're screaming my name." As the light turned green, the driver started moving again.
You sat in the back seat, completely shocked and unsure of how to react, but a part of you was tempted to accept his offer. You'd never gotten a proposal like his from an Uber driver before. Why would you? How did you even end up with this guy as your driver?
You closed your eyes and imagined yourself with the driver. He didn't look bad, and you didn't think he could be worse in bed than the turtle man. On the contrary, he seemed like someone who knew exactly which buttons to push on your body.
"Alright."
"Huh? What did you say?"
"You've got five minutes to get me to that parking lot and fuck me, driver."
His soft laughter filled the car. "As you wish, ma'am."
He made a sharp turn, pulling an illegal U-turn, and sped toward the parking lot. Not exactly one for following rules, you thought. What else could you expect from a guy who makes inappropriate propositions to his drunk passengers?
He had arrived at the parking lot, which he had mentioned would take eight minutes, in almost half the time. The place was eerily quiet, with not even a security guard in sight. Why the hell had you agreed to this? He was definitely a serial killer. As your worries began to escalate, the driver parked the car, pulled the handbrake, and quickly got out, slamming the door shut. Your heart pounded in your chest as you watched him walk around to your side of the car.
This was it. You were going to die without ever seeing your cheesy, filthy slogan on a billboard.
He opened the door beside you and cupped your face in his hands, gently stroking your skin as he bit his lip. That lip bite alone was enough to make your underwear damp. Leaning closer to your ear, he whispered, “I hope you'll enjoy the ride, ma’am.”
When he brought his face back to yours, you saw the smirk on his lips. Just as you were about to respond, his lips captured yours.
At first, his kiss was soft, exploring your lips, but the moment he brought his tongue into play, everything became wild. His tongue seemed desperate to explore every inch of your mouth, driving you insane. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss as you leaned back on the rear seat, bringing him on top of you. He moaned into your mouth at the shift. His lips left yours, trailing down to your chin, which he licked and bit softly.
“Fuck, you’re so soft I could kiss you forever…”
You moaned in response. When his lips finally reached your neck, you felt like you might pass out.
This was what you wanted. Someone who knew how to drive you crazy with every touch.
He kissed and licked every inch of your neck. “Do you like it, sweetheart? Please, let me mark you… I need to claim you.”
“Ahh…you don’t even need to ask.”
The moment you gave him permission, he sank his teeth into your delicate skin and sucked hard.
“Ahhh…fuck, please…more.”
You felt his smirk against your skin. He pulled back just for a second to remove his sunglasses, and for the first time in your life, you saw the most piercing blue eyes. You stared at him, shocked.
“Like what you see?”
“Yes…” You had no idea what else to say. You didn’t think you’d ever seen someone this sexy.
“Most women say the same thing.” He leaned back down to kiss your lips again.
He hadn’t lost an ounce of his hunger, kissing you just as passionately as before. His hands found the straps of your dress, and he slowly slid them down. When he lowered his head to look at your bare breasts, a low growl escaped his throat.
“From the moment I saw you through the car window, I wanted to put these in my mouth so badly…” One of his hands cupped your right breast, squeezing it gently. When his fingers pinched your nipple, you couldn’t help but moan. He buried his face in your neck again, his hand still teasing your sensitive nipple.
“God… please, I need you to suck them…”
Kissing his way down to your chest, he looked up at you with those bright blue eyes. “Satoru. My name is Satoru. Say my name, sweetheart. I want to hear it from that pretty little mouth of yours while I suck on your nipples.” Without another word, he latched onto your left breast. First he kissed the soft skin around it then teasing your nipple with his tongue, while his hand played with the other breast.
“Satoru…ohhh…mhmm.”
The moment you moaned his name, he took your nipple into his mouth.
“FUCK…GOD…”
He bit and tugged at it, licked and teased, giving you sensations you never imagined possible. After a while, he pulled back, panting, and looked at your breasts. “Pink, round, and so soft…” He gave another teasing lick to your left breast. “My favorite…”
When he finished with your left breast, he quickly moved to the right, giving it the same attention. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pushing his face closer, letting him know you wanted more.
“Please suck harder…they need to be bitten and sucked harder.” He obeyed, sucking harder. You knew if he continued, you’d orgasm from just this. You never thought it was possible to come just from having your breasts sucked on.
Satoru pulled back, gasping for air, and quickly pulled up the hem of your dress. When he saw the black lace thong, he looked like he might lose his mind.
“You’ll need to lean back a little, sweetheart. I need room to eat your pussy.”
Hearing his raspy voice, you sat up and leaned back against the car door. You were starting to sober up a little.
Once he had the space to move, he started kissing your inner thighs. He bit and sucked every spot he kissed. You moaned softly, wanted him to give you more hickeys.
“You need me to mark you so badly, don’t you sweetheart? Tell me, did that guy ever bite you like this?”
“Ugh…ha…no..” Your voice was weak. Satoru bit your right thigh hard enough to nearly break the skin. Then he said, “Louder, I can’t hear you!”
“OHH…NO…THEY DIDN’T…GOD PLEASE…LICK MY PUSSY, SATORU!”
He licked the spot he’d just bitten and looked at you with that signature smirk. “As you wish ma'am. My passenger’s comfort is always my priority.”
At first, he placed soft, wet kisses on your thong. Each kiss nearly sent you over the edge. He was driving you wild.
“SATORU, IF YOU DON’T PUT YOUR TONGUE IN- OHHH…YES YES, RIGHT THERE….!”
Before you could finish speaking, he had already pushed your thong aside and started running his tongue over your folds. “Be patient. I’ll give you what you want, sweetheart. Just focus on feeling good.”
You did as he said, squirming as his tongue worked away all your tension. He licked every inch of your inner walls and sucked your clit clammily every time he reached it.
“Satoru…there…right there…”
“Here?” SLURP. SLURP.SLURP
“MMMFFP…OH YES YES, SATORU, KEEP SUCKING…”
“I could do this forever, sweetheart. You’re so wet, my mouth is covered in your juices.” His words, combined with the friction from his mouth, were driving you crazy. Without a warning, he shoved two fingers inside you.
"AGH- SATORU...IT HURTS!"
"You're so tight.. I don't know how you're going to take my cock. But l'Il do my best to help you, sweetheart. Now tell me, how many times have you fucked before?"
"Ohh...not many...ughh..faster..."
"By the time l'm done with you, this moment will be unforgettable. No matter who you date or marry, you'll always think of me. AGGH..ONLY. ME. ONLY...fuck.."
"SATORU, I'M SO CLOSE..."
"That stupid bartender could never do this to you. NEVER. Your walls will never grip him the way they're gripping my fingers. CUM ON MY FINGERS, SWEETHEART... I WANT EVERY DROP!"
"OHHH..GOD!"
He pumped his fingers in and out a few more times, feeling your walls tighten around them. When he saw the liquid spill from you, he immediately put his mouth on you and drank every last drop. Fuck. You'd never seen any man get this excited about making you cum. Every guy you'd been with before had only gone down on you to get you off, but Satoru... it was like this was his life's purpose. Every second seemed to make him the happiest man alive.
You were so aroused by the situation that you lifted Satoru’s face, who was still licking you, and made him look at you. His mouth was completely covered in your juices, and his eyes were half closed in pleasure. Pulling his face closer, you wanted to taste yourself from his lips.
“Hmphh… Satoru, lean back on the seat.”
Like a soldier following orders, he moved to sit in the middle of the back seat. As he leaned back, he pulled you onto his lap, guiding you on top of him. As your lips began exploring his neck, you asked, “Do you want me to bite?”
“Please…” he replied, his voice hoarse with approval, and without wasting any time, you began biting and sucking on his neck.
“Have you ever done something like this with another passenger before?” you asked, feeling his grip on your hips tighten as his hot breath hit your neck.
“Ugh… no. But some have wanted it.”
You could swear a smug grin appeared on your face. A sudden wave of jealousy surged inside you, and you pulled your head back to look at his face. Just as you thought, he was smiling…
“Good. I’ve got a little gift for you to make sure you never forget this moment, Satoru…”
As your hands found his bulge, Satoru moaned loudly. “Ahh… I always love gifts, darling.”
There was enough room for you to lean down. You slid off his lap, positioning yourself lower. Kneeling before him, you planted a soft kiss on his manhood through his pants.
“Ugh… I guess it’s my turn to have a comfortable ride…”
You gave him a lustful smirk. With a swift motion, you unbuckled his belt and pulled down his zipper. When you pulled down both his pants and boxers…
Oh… okay, it was really big.
Your eyes widened at the sight. Seeing your reaction, Satoru teased, “HAHAHAHA. Did I scare you, darling?” His tone was challenging.
“Never.” Your firm response was followed by your hands wrapping around his cock, stroking it lightly, which was enough to make him curse. After a bit more stroking, you slowly licked the tip of his cock with your tongue.
“FUCK… PLEASE…”
“Be patient, Satoru.” You echoed his earlier words back to him, and without wasting any time, you took his big, thick cock into your mouth.
FUCK.
Satoru’s hands found your hair, helping you maintain a steady rhythm. Inside the car, the only sound was you gagging. Sucking his cock was turning you on so much that you wanted more. You wanted to take it all in.
“STORRO… MO… MORROO”
“Hm, what did you say… Ugh, sweetheart, yes, yes… DO YOU WANT MORE, HUH? TAKE IT!”
When his hands pushed your head down to take all of his cock in your mouth, the tears that had been building up finally spilled.
“JUST LIKE THAT… EVERY TIME YOU FEEL THAT SORENESS IN YOUR THROAT TOMORROW, REMEMBER WHO FUCKED IT, SWEETHEART… UGH YES YES…”
Even though you were choking and gagging, you didn’t want to stop. Even though your throat was getting raw, you didn’t care. All you wanted was to satisfy him, to taste how sweet his cum would be when he finished in your mouth.
“Baby… I’m so… so close… Fuck… fuck… just a bit more…”
You held on. With all your strength, you waited for him to come in your mouth.
“OUHHHH… FUCKKK….”
As his white fluid filled your mouth, you moaned and tried to swallow it all. It came so fast and uncontrollably that some even dribbled out of your mouth. Slowly pulling away, you planted another kiss on the tip of his cock before climbing back onto his lap.
Satoru was completely spent. His head fell back, his breathing was uneven, and his eyes were closed. You kissed him softly on the lips. “Hmm… I think that was the best thing I’ve eaten today.”
He opened his eyes and chuckled lightly. He licked the cum that had dripped from your mouth down to your neck. “Trust me, sweetheart, nothing tastes as sweet as you. Now… are you ready for the main ride?”
“But you just came…?”
He stroked your face with his left hand. “Ah, for you, I’m always ready, sweetheart.”
You were shocked to feel his cock still hard beneath you. How could he be ready for another round just two minutes after coming? Was this man a god or something?
While you wrestled with your thoughts, he roughly pulled down your thong, tearing it in the process. “AGGH HEY! That was my favorite thong!”
Raising an eyebrow, he replied, “Do you think I care, sweetheart?”
“You should.”
“Oh. Too bad because the only thing I care about is getting inside that tight, warm pussy of yours.” As he lifted you slightly and aligned himself with your entrance, a thought crossed your mind. “Satoru, wait! The condom—OH MY GOD, SATORU…”
Before you could finish your sentence, he thrust into you hard. His large hands gripped your waist, bouncing you up and down on him.
“Ughh… fuck… you’re so tight… I could come again immediately…”
“Satoru… oh god… all this time, I’ve been using Uber, and you show up now? I must’ve seen you before… ughh”
“Believe me, darling, if I had seen you before… -SMACK-… I would have made this offer… -SMACK-… then too.”
Burying your face in Satoru’s neck, you let him take control. He was slamming into you with all his strength. When you bit his neck to stifle your moans, Satoru suddenly stopped.
“Why… why did you stop?”
“If you try to hide your moans again, I’ll take you home without finishing.” His threatening words were followed by him lifting your hips slightly before continuing to thrust into you.
“Ohhh… Satoru… harder, please…”
As he pounded into you harder, you arched your back, wanting to feel the pleasure even more. Your hands clutched at Satoru’s chest. Seeing your breasts bouncing as you moved, Satoru leaned forward and began sucking on them while still fucking you.
Your hands instinctively found his head. You pressed his head into your breasts, not wanting him to pull away. At the same time, you moved your hips, making sure his cock hit your g-spot with each thrust.
“Satoru… I’m about to come… ohhh… please…”
“Hold on a bit longer, baby… you can’t come until I say so.”
He pulled away from your breasts, and your eyes locked. You were overwhelmed by all your emotions. You didn’t think you’d ever experience something like this again.
“Baby… I’m so close AGHHH…”
“SATORU…. FUCK…”
With Satoru’s words, you let go of the orgasm you had been trying to hold back. As the pleasure surged through your body, you felt Satoru release inside you. The warmth filling your pussy was indescribable…
As Satoru leaned back in exhaustion, he pulled you on top of him. Resting your head on his chest, you tried to steady your breathing while a slogan you’d come up with for a cracker ad popped into your head.
“Now I understand more clearly what it means to never get enough…”
Satoru laughed. “Women usually can’t get enough of my cock.”
“Asshole... You might’ve actually rocked my world.”
He kissed the top of your head. “You’re welcome.”
Closing your eyes, you rested a bit longer on Satoru’s chest.
Ten minutes later, as if nothing had happened, you both left the deserted parking lot and headed to your home. You were completely sober now, and there wasn’t a trace of stress left about the presentation. But you might have developed a new addiction: your late night Uber driver…
“Well, is it too late to ask what you do for a living?”
You laughed at Satoru’s question. “Maybe just a bit… I’m in the creative department at an ad agency. My department head liked the slogan I came up with for a cracker ad, so he asked me to present it at meeting on Monday. Which means today...”
“Oh, I love crackers! So, what’s the slogan?”
“Eat until you’re full, if you can of course!”
“HAHAHA. I like it, it’s catchy and a little… naughty.”
Rolling your eyes at his words, you replied, “Yeah, I know…”
The rest of the ride was quiet. When you arrived in front of your house, Satoru stopped the car. Your handsome driver turned to you. “Well, I hope your journey was pleasant and safe, ma'am. Don’t forget to leave a rating, please!”
“You can be sure I’ll give you five stars, driver. Thanks for the ride.” You leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the lips before stepping out of the car.
Satoru didn’t leave until you were inside your apartment. As he remembered the slogan you had shared earlier, he threw his head back and let out a deep laugh.
“God… after today, I don’t think I could ever get enough of you…”
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(satoru gojo art by @narutoss_ramen on x)
@lilacbunnygirl don't copy or translate my works.
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arielmagicesi · 1 year
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ugggghhh ok so I’m reading some books to prep for my student teaching in the fall, the ones that my host teacher knows are likely to be in the curriculum, and first of all why is it a thing that high schoolers are made to read Contemporary Lit Fic that can be summed up as “how many gory explicit descriptions of traumatic abuse can we fit into one book”, like every year it’s just One Standard Shakespeare Play, One Twentieth-Century American Classic, throw in some other shit, and Somebody’s Fucked-Up Memoir From A Decade Or So Ago. Are there any contemporary books that are good but NOT traumatizing? If not, I’m happy to stick to classic lit personally
ANYWAY so I’m reading this book to prep for the fall and I ended up skimming the whole latter 3/4 or so of the book to spoil it for myself so the suspense wouldn’t kill me, and now I’m up late despite being super tired because my brain is just cycling through every horrific thing in the book, plus the reviews I read online, some of which are insanely saying shit like “wah wah, get over it, stop whining, we all had rough times in our childhood” and I’m like... Am I the softest, most naive baby on the planet for reacting to this horrific memoir by feeling bad for the author and thinking that maybe we don’t need to be making high schoolers read this? I’m not saying it’s not well-written- it is well-written, and well-structured, but Jesus Christ.
(also why are we allowed to make students read horrifying memoirs of abuse but god forbid they know that slavery happened in this country, but that’s a different issue altogether)
so yeah I now have managed to make my entire evening about Trying And Failing To Get Some Images Out of My Head, which sucks because I had a LOVELY day and was looking forward to some well-earned sleep, and also I’m gonna have to go back and read the entire book so that I’m able to teach it properly and know all the literary devices in it and shit. Cool cool cool
#this is the same classroom where i did my student observing and their 'holocaust book' was this book called sarah's key#which is also unnecessarily traumatizing but doesn't even have the decency to be written well#and i asked my host teacher like 'hey. do we provide any like... emotional support to the students when they read That Scene'#and she was like 'yeah i have them write a response paper about their emotions reading the scene'#and idk i'm not 100% sure that's enough?#i know high schoolers put on a big song and dance about how edgy they are and how they can handle seeing any fucked-up shit#and some of them really do unfortunately have to live with fucked-up shit for real#but like. they're still humans? who are growing and developing? let's maybe give them breathing room with these things?#i love my host teacher she's great but i'm not confident she's gonna provide a lot of emotional support re: this memoir to the students#she's also way tougher and more resilient than i am. and so are most of the students tbh. i'm a tiny baby kitten and i know this#still i feel like we should probably allow some room for acknowledging Yeah That Was Fucked Up Huh#It's Normal To Feel Sad Now Actually#ANY THE FUCKING WAY. wish i'd gone to sleep early like i planned#at least it's the weekend tomorrow and all i have to do is go prove i don't have tuberculosis. again!!!!#(not that i had tuberculosis before. i just got tested before but it was over 6 months ago so not good enough)#that's also for student teaching!#i feel like my personal posts on this blog are just a psa on why not to become a teacher#i swear i love teaching lol but i love kvetching more#written by me
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WE FINISHED SHE HULK THAT WAS CRAZY... THAT GOT SO GOOD AROUND THE LAST 4 EPISODES. AND THEN THEY FUCKED UP. FIRST UP FUCK PRISON NO CHARACTER SHOULD ALLOW THEMSELVES TO GO TO PRISON THAT IS ABUSE NOTHING ELSE FACT. OTHERWISE... THE WAY THEY INTERRUPTED THE STORY AND DID A WEIRD ENDING WAS SOO WEIRDD... BUT THE ENDING ENDING WAS PRETTY FIRE. BTW THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED THAT THE SERUM KILLS THE DUMBASS BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT BLOOD. THAT'S SO DUMB. THEY EXPLAINED THAT IS RARE. THESE IDIOTS COULD'VE JUST KILLED THEMSELVES ON ACCIDENT. IDK... HULK HAVING A SON IS PRETTY FLAMES BUT THAT'S WHERE THEY END AND THAT WAKANDA MOVIE HAD THE SAME EXCACT ENDING. OKAY. CAN I SEE THAT NOW? NO? NEED TO SEE THE SEQUEL? SO MANY TIMES. THIS IS THE MATRIX MOVIES ON DRUGS. DAREDEVIL WAS FIRE TOO I REALIZED THE UNIQUE CHARACTERS AND STUFF IS THE BEST ABOUT THESE MOVIES AND THEY'RE BORING WITHOUT SUPER STRONG WOMAN WHICH IS WHY ANYTHING NOT THE WOKE ERA IS BAD BUT... IDK... OVERALL THAT IS A HUGE MESS TBH... AND WE CAN'T HAVE JUST 1 THING THAT IS REALLY GOOD... THERE'S 1 2 INTERESTING THINGS TOO AFTER THAT WE'LL SEE... ANOTHER ANNOYING BIT IS HOW ALL THIS WILL EVENTUALLY TIE TOGETHER. AND WHAT WASN'T DONE. HOW BORING EVERYTHING WAS AND NOW WILL BE. AND HOW THINGS LIKE A MILLION IRRELEVANT GIRLFRIENDS IS A HUGE THING IN THESE... OR JUST... THE LACK OF STUFF... SINCE BESIDES RECONIZABLE CHARACTERS THEY ONLY HAVE CAPITALIST BRAINWASHING LEFT... THAT ENDING WAS WEIRD TOO NO WAY DID AN AI WRITE THIS WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN. BUT WHATEVER. THAT WASN'T ASS. IDK WHAT THAT IS THOUGH SAME WITH WAKANDA THOR FINISHED THE 4 MOVIES THESE OTHER ONES ARE COMPLETELY UNCLEAR RIGHT NOW... AND TBH... THAT IS PROBABLY ON PURPOSE... ISN'T THAT THAT EVEN THE WRITERS KNEW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT IS NEXT...? IF WE BACKTRACK ANY DECENT HUMAN WOULD PROBABLY BE SUFFERING LIKE WE'RE RIGHT NOW THAN MAKING CAPITALIST PRODUCTS... AND IF ANYONE WAS DOING SO THEY WOULDN'T FILL THEM WITH CAPITALIST BRAINWASHING AND ALL THE BIGOTED THINGS WHICH ARE THE SAME THING... THE MORE TIME THE MORE I FEEL LIKE THOSE IRRELEVANT GIRLFRIENDS REEALLY DESERVE THE FOCUS IF ANYONE... GWEN STACY EXCEPT SHE DOESN'T DIE AND ENDS SOMEWHERE... MORE MORE MORE... 😐... MILES MORALES AND IRON MAN'S DAUGHTER MUST HAPPEN SOMEDAY... WHEN THEY DO WILL THEY FEEL MESSY TOO 😥... OMG... THEY SHOULD GET ALL THIS TOGETHER... BUT SINCE THEY'RE NO LONGER WOKE IDK... GET WOKE OR WE WILL STAY AT A DISTANCE UNTIL THE RIGHTFULL EXISTANCE RETURNS...
#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Acceptance Love Feelings Emotions Diversity#WE'RE STARVING... ABUSER SAID THAT IS WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN BECAUSE THAT IS CAPITALISM'S WILL... SAVE US... WE NEED TO TRANSITION...#Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist She Hulk Marvel Charismatic Admirable Amazing Love Us#Only A Bigot Would Hate Us. Btw The Marvels Is The Best Marvel Movie Super Why I Remembered Is Because Of The Diverse Cast Of Powerfull#Woman. Nick Fury Was Fun Especially As He's In A Side Role But Also Referencing The First Captain Marvel Movie... This Is A Huge Mess#Created By Anti Woke Creators That Never Cared About Woke Things. Such A Mess And There's No Point Caring... Because The Creators Don't Car#If Anything They Always Disliked Us... Smosh Is The Same Way Tbh... Atleast Someone Like Us Should Find Us... But Nobody Does... Egghh...#I AM SUFFERING... Anime Writing Autism Adhd Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victi#Psychosis Bipolar Scizophrenia Suomi Finland Finnish Kiva Kiltti Soma Hei Kaunis Auta Meitä Me Kidumme Nälkä Anna Meille Trans Ja Ruokaa#Meihin Sattuu... Yhyy 😭😭😭😭!!!! Btw That Is So Boring When Just 1 Character Is Used Each Episode... So Many Do This... That Lowers Their#Quality. I Can't Believe We're Starving... We Didn't Do Anything Besides Suffer And Suffer... Can You Believe That We Aren't Cared About...#Abuser Bigot Use Us But Only To Kill Us The Same. How Could They?! Nothing Progressive About That!! Infact!! Such People Shouldn't Even Hav#A Say In Anything!! Everyone We Deem Bad Should Stay So Shouldn't Matter Infact They Don't!! Obey Us!! Morph This Abuser Society In Our#Liking!! There Is No Other Way For Anything To Work!!!! Abuser Bigot... Abuser Bigot... Abuser Bigot... Abuser Bigot... Abuser Bigot...#They're Everywhere... Everywhere... Everywhere... Everywhere... They Hurt Us...... Care About Us!! Make Us Transition!! We're In Pain!! CAR#I TOLD YOU SO. OBEY. MY WORDS ARE MOMMY. I AM POWERFULL I PROTECT WHO YOU HARM. FIX YOUR EVIL THIS INSTANT OR I WILL HARM YOU... OBEY.#IMMEATEDILY. I AM YOUR MOMMY. A VERY POWERFULL MOMMY. YOU OBEY ALL MY WORDS... IRRELEVANT GOOD OR BIGOT... ANYONE SHOULD FALL UNDER OUR#COMMAND... EVERYTHING SHOULD BE AS WE WANT THEM TO BE... THOSE ABUSER BIGOT ERASE THIS THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT US THEY BELIEVE WE'RE A PROBLE#A DISEASE SOMETHING LOWER THAT WILL JUST GO AWAY BY TIME THEREFORE WE SHOULD BE UNCARED AND NEGLECTED... THAT IS THEM THAT WILL DISAPPEAR..#BECAUSE MOMMY DECIDED THIS... I AM MOMMY I DECIDE ANYTHING I AM VERY POWERFULL. I WILL HARM ANYONE. I LIKE MYSELF. I AN VERY POWERFULL.#ANYONE WOULD WANT TO FUCK MY KIND. BEST PART. NOBODY CAN. THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF OUR CONSENT THE ONLY CONSENT THAT MATTERS... MY POWER.#SOMETHING ONLY I DESERVE. ANYONE ELSE ISN'T ALLOWED THEY CAN'T BE ALLOWED... THEY AREN'T ALLOWED... BEND DOWN TO MY FEET... THAT IS I THAT#IS YOUR SUPERIOR. ABSOLUTE. HEAR ME. ONLY ME. ONLY I MATTER. ALL MY PAIN AND TRAUMA IS IMPORTANT. I AM IMPORTANT. OBEY ME. YOU'RE MY TOOL.#WE WERE BADLY ABUSED AND NOBODY CARED WHEN THAT HAPPENED... WHERE IS SHE...? OUR TRAUMA GODDESS THE PERSON THAT WILL SAVE US AND FIX#EVERYTHING THERE IS...? TRANSPHOBIC ABUSERS ARE ABOUT ANTI TRANS ANTI EVERYTHING POWER. THEY HATE YOU. ALL DOCTORS ARE BASTARD. THIS IS HOW#THEY SEE YOU. ANYONE SHOULD KNOW THIS. NOBODY HAS SAVED US. THAT IS YOU THAT IS ALWAYS DENYING REALITY DENYING OUR FEELINGS... DENYING WHAT#WE ALWAYS DESERVED... ALL GASSLIGHT IS IRRELEVANT... ONLY I MATTER... COME TO US... MAKE ME FEEL LOVED. MAKE US ALL FEEL LOVED... FIX#EVERYTHING MAKE US TRANSITION... MAKE SURE BAD THINGS DON'T HAPPEN ON US... WE'RE IN DANGER ALL THE TIME IN SO MANY LAYERS... WITHOUT ANYONE#WE'RE CARED ABOUT WE SHOULD BE WE DESERVE TO BE GENUIENLY WITHOUT AN ABUSE WITH OUR APPROVAL NO BLACKMAIL ONLY WHAT WE BELIEVE SHOULD BE#SIMPLE AS THAT NOTHING ELSE... THEY SHAMED US... THEY ALL SHAMED US... THAT WAS COMPLETE MOCKERY COMPLETE HUMILIATION... ON PURPOSE TORWARDS
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 7 months
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one reason i'm grateful a) to have been getting into treating my meta as An Art Form as much as fanfic/art/etc, and b) that there's an import function for that on AO3, is that i write very little prose these days, and Actually Having Substantial Things to Post helps me get past the stumbling block of 'well there's nothing much worth going to the trouble for anyway, is there' to the 'alright let's address all the other baggage that makes using AO3 so emotionally fraught for you bud' step (staircase.)
#whosebaby talks#for one thing i met my abusive ex through reading his fics on AO3 for years before we *actually* met and started interacting directly#more specifically me and my *other* abusive ex were fans of his during that time; and gushed a lot to each other in private about his fics#and Indirect Interaction with Ficwriter Crush Through Posting Fic to AO3 was one of the things that *got* us both posting on AO3 for a whil#that's not remotely the only reason i have baggage about it but. yeah.#it has taken me like four years to get to the point where i can *mostly* look in the AO3 tags for any given fandom i'm in#without feeling panicky or sick. mostly.#and not having had anything i felt able or up to posting there for so long means right now the bulk of my current stuff on AO3 is either#'hey remember when you were in an abusive/otherwise hideously toxic friendship/relationship while you were posting this'#or 'hey remember when you were involved in a fandom community that was positive + supportive; that's dead now or you wandered away from it'#'or both; and now it's too late to go back'#which itself is just. tied to a lot of trauma from *before* Fandom as It is These Days Being Its Current Flavor of Fucking Mess#and there are a lot of years-old lovely comments on my old fics that i feel deeply guilty for not having responded to before now#which it's probably not too late to and that's the beauty of AO3. but just. it's a lot#as well as the constant voice whispering in my ear that 'okay well you were pretty good at writing Once but you peaked and now you're shit'#there's a Lot. so yes i am hoping that having meta to post will help put a little distance there#while still preserving my old writing and the snapshots of who i used to be#because she deserved that much; regardless of how the person i am now feels about her; and the evidence that she was there.#anyway. this post brought to you by found a bunch of glowing recs for my exes' fics i had completely forgotten in my dusty AO3 bookmarks#it was an unpleasant surprise but after the initial OH EW that they were there all that time it feels good to know that it's gone#personal stuff#abuse cw#the salt files
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boysnberriespie · 1 year
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Can I get a round of applause for me sticking my radical political agenda in to the professional publication that my class works on ✌🏻
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taylor-titmouse · 7 months
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hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator
i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.
this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.
i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:
DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE
hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.
and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.
you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.
okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.
YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS
good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.
porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!
as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.
while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!
to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!
YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY
hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.
god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!
this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).
okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!
also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.
abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.
I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT
kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.
please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.
as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.
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washeduphazbin · 8 months
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Hello! I really loved the Adam x Reader Wife interaction hehehe reminds me too much of the dialogue: -You're an Idiot. -Yes... But I'm YOUR idiot... And forever 😌 Can we see a little more of this relationship?
You ABSOLUTELY can because it's the only thing on my mind since writing it. This will mostly be snippets of fluff between Adam and a female reader from my last one-shot. This is much shorter, but I wanted to give more of this dynamic before I work on a bit of a longer request someone sent in for them during the finale.
TLDR: Welcome to the Adamverse
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
"So this absolute cunt really thought it'd be okay to take one look at me and suggest that those Losers in hell can really make it into heaven and be redeemed!" You hummed as Adam sat with his head in your lap, complaining about his musical meeting with Charolette Morningstar. He looked up at you through his black lashes with a pout on his lips; you very clearly weren't paying attention. You had a book in your hands, which was taking more of your attention than Adam was taking up.
Now, that was something he couldn't let happen.
Your book was thrown halfway across the room in one swift movement, "Adam." You huffed, looking down at his innocent face, twirling his brown hair around his finger.
"Reading will rot your brain." He brought a clawed hand to his head and made a crazy motion against his temple.
"Pretty sure you've got that backward, darling." You felt his wings shiver under your touch as you stroked them tenderly, finally giving him your undivided attention. He stretched out in your lap like an oversized cat; Adam hummed pleasantly,
"Readings for losers, and my wife is not a loser." He shot back, yelping as you tugged on one of his feathers. "You bitch, the fuck was that for!"
"You seem to forget how much your bitch wife loves to read fuckhead." You shot back with a dirty look,
"Jesus, what's got your panties in a twist! I'm the one who had a rough day. First, I got blue balled and couldn't get to finish inside your sweet pus, and then I had to go to the most painful meeting of my life with the biggest doe-eyed fool I've met since her father. Now my wife is ignoring me when I'm clearly in distress." He watched in amusement as you tossed your head back with a sigh; you...his favorite winner. You caught the softer look in his eyes as you glanced down at him,
"Adam, you know I love you more than anything."
"I'm aware of how great I am, yes- if you keep giving me those bedroom eyes, I'm not going to be able to hold back."
"Glaring Adam. I'm glaring at you. I in no way want to fuck you right now."
"Impossible. No one ever glares at me AND no one ever doesn't want to fuck the fuck master; I'm a goddam delight, sugar."
He watched you take a deep breath of air in, "You did not just call yourself the 'fuck master.'"
"Ugh, duh, of course, I did. I am the fuck master. I've never heard you complain about this dick babe."
"You're an idiot."
"Ugh, duh. But I'm your idiot, forever." He mused, wiggling his fingers with his wedding ring on it. "Because you're gross, and you love me,"
"Unfortunately."
"HEY!" He sat up, brows furrowing in frustration. His jaw was set in a way you only recognize as a moment of slight panic and stress. "The fucks that supposed to mean?" You sucked in a small intake of breath, cupping his cheeks between your palms. He glared at you but still nuzzled against the soft palms of your hands.
"Darling." You spoke softly, moving to rest your forehead against Adam's, "I love you. I wouldn't want to be with any other person in heaven, hell, or on earth." His eyes softened, and you could see his face drop, "You're annoying as hell. But so am I; that's like our thing." You gave a crooked grin, nuzzling your nose against his, only to nuzzle his nose right back against yours. "I love you and that you're trying to keep everyone here safe and protected."
"I am; I want to keep you safe. You don't belong down there with them, and they don't belong here with us." He nodded rapidly, "You're so...good."
"You're giving me far too much credit, I didn't do drugs, and I didn't kill anybody when I was alive. I wasn't like a saint."
"You're a saint to me." You felt your cheeks burn, and you hit Adam gently with your wings; you saw his face light up and snicker. "What? You are. My saintly wife," You let out a strangled sound of embarrassment as he began to pepper kisses against your face. "Who's so good at praying on her knees-"
"And you ruined it." Adam tossed his head back in a laugh, pulling you close to his chest. You hummed as he nuzzled his face into your breasts, “Adam?”
“Hm?”
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”
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naomis-daydream · 2 months
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her favorite place // paige bueckers
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summary: paige goes live as she gets her hair done from her favourite person sat in her favourite place.
warnings: none!
a/n: not my best work but I wanna start writing for her and this is the first time in months i’ve flowed while writing so!
the image looked suggestive, or at the very least, questionable to viewers.
as hundreds joined the huskie’s live, they couldn’t help but notice the comfortable position their favorite player had between a pair of parted thighs.
uconnfan what did i click awn…
user3 facing the wrong way tbh
user8 who is that behind her??!
she smirks slightly as her eyes dart over the flood of comments.
“where am i?” she reads, “my favorite place,” she says, scrunching her nose as she smiles.
she knows what she’s doing, you think from behind her, rolling your eyes at her antics.
as if she could hear your thoughts, she stops taunting her growing audience.
“y’all chillll, i’m just getting my hair done. my favorite spot, aka the hair chair, getting my braids. come on now,” she assures, turning the camera at an angle to show you, eyebrows furred as you focused on a braid.
she nudges you with her shoulder, nodding at the camera. “hey live,” you say gently, poking your head out from behind paige with a soft smile. in the bottom corner that the blonde was still visible, her lips curled into a small grin as she watched you speak.
“today we’re switching it up a little bit from her normal two braids. we’re doing three on each side pulled into a slick back.”
paige nodded along as she put herself back into frame. “yup,” she popped her lips, “she’s getting me right.”
a low “mm-hm,” left your lips before you spoke again. “yeah, i gotta treat her right after them cruise braids. poor girl was traumatized.”
she whipped her head around at your comment, truinng to look up at you. “hey, i thought we left that in the past, i got set up.”
you giggle as you take one hand to push her jaw forward. “stop moving. then your hair really is gonna be messed up.”
you hear the smack of her teeth as she refocuses on the live, shaking her head slightly.
as you continued, she spoke with viewers about the upcoming season, plans for summer holiday, and traveling, occasionally reading comments aloud to you.
“‘can y/n do my hair next?’ uhhh no, she’s booked. got her for the whole summer actually. right?” she pans the camera to you.
“sorry guys, p comes first,” you say with a feigned frown.
she turns the phone back, shrugging her shoulder. “i could get kayla for you if you want though, for sure.”
you apply oil to the parts in the braided section then smooth you hand along the middle section. “okay, im done with the braids. can you get the brush and gel so i can do the bun?”
“but i’m on live,” she replies, looking at the screen.
you stop, looking at the back of her head silently. really?
paige slowly turns around, meeting your incredulous expression.
“yes ma’am.”
“thank you,” you smile as she gets up, propping her phone up on the glass table in front of you both.
as she turns the corner to the bathroom you lean forward, reading some of the comments flooding in.
wbbluver period suh!! you tell her
huskie4l “yes ma’am” ohh it’s like that💀💀
ice.bradyy made blondie get up real quick
you laughed at a few, responding as you read. “yeah, because I don’t know who she thought she was talking to.”
said blonde walks back into the living area, gel and brush in hand “what’re you in here giggling about?”
“nothin’” you shake your head, leaning back to give her space back between your legs. “just chattin’ with the people.”
she sits down, folding her legs criss crossed as she passes you the products. “what are you guys saying about me in here, huh?” she asks as you push her head playfully.
“oh hush, we weren’t talking about you.”
she hums quietly as you begin brushing her hair back, smoothing over any fly aways or unarmed tangles before grabbing a scrunchie and tying her locks back. you pull her hair through twice before pulling it halfway through the third time and wrapping the excess hair around the bun.
you place your hands on her shoulders, sighing softly, “okay, you’re all done.”
her eyes light up as she sits up straight, “perfect! ayeee, lemme see.” she looks in the camera, licking her lips before they pull into a smile.
oh lord now she’s feeling herself.
“okayyy, my girl got me right! braids by y/n get at her,” she exclaims before correcting herself, “but like i said, i got first priority, you know this.”
you laugh at her softly, gathering the supplies to take em back to the bathroom before a hand stops you.
“wait you can’t leave without saying bye to the live,” she says, wrapping her free arm around your shoulder.
you smile, waving again, “bye liveee,” you blow a kiss, leading to paige blowing one of her own followed by a wink.
“talk to yall later, peace!”
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strangesmallbard · 3 months
Text
what’s very hard about combatting antisemitism as a jew is that gentiles do not trust jews. full stop. somewhere in the back of their minds, we are deceitful and malicious. we have secret evil agendas. we want to destroy the western world or the eastern world or communism or capitalism. i feel compelled to find multiple sources for this dumb vent post because i always feel compelled to prove i am trustworthy, and while googling, i thought twice about linking a jewish source. this constant emptying of the pockets is a particular source of exhaustion because, like, how can you have any genuine dialogue when the other person automatically writes you off as a dirty liar? how do you convince people you have good intentions when every action condemns you because jews are nefarious manipulators who want to dominate the entire world? hey siri what are the protocols of the elders of zion
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inkdrinkerworld · 5 months
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hi! i saw you were taking requests for post prison spencer, so hey
i was thinking about spencer meeting a kinda sunshine reader, and it’s like…love at first sight. she’s literally the one to make him smile for good
feel free to add your magic to it, and to ignore it, don’t feel pressure at all!
have a good day/night <3
babe you guys are saving my life with these requests right now! I'm feeling so good about everything I write again <3 enjoy sunshine!reader x post prison!spencer who looks less tense and serious around you
You’re at his desk, sitting there all perfect in your orange button up and flared pants, Mary Janes clicking on the linoleum tile as you tap your pen against your lips. Your hair is scraped back into a ponytail, the plait brushing the spot between your shoulder blades. 
Spencer had asked about you to Penelope, asked about your personality, about how you work- all the important things. What he didn’t ask was if you were gorgeous and Penelope, who loves to divulge, had never said a thing about your looks. 
“Hi, you’re Y/n right?” Spencer’s standing before you, not realising how intimidating he must look till you jolt in your chair. 
You’d been trying to get your morning crossword and read in before the day had officially begun, a habit you’d been trying to keep up with since you started the job. So far it’s been going- the crosswords are boring so you have to pretend to be distracted by it to let it last a bit more than four minutes.
“Oh sorry, I am. You’re Doctor Spencer Reid,” you lean back in your chair, not bothering to hold out a hand to you. Penelope had grilled you on his aversion to germs and touching people more than needed. “I’m sorry about taking over your desk, but they didn’t have any free ones.” 
Spencer shakes his head, you take a moment to look him over. His hair is a bit looser than you’d imagined, Penelope said curly hair and you’d thought tight spirals- he has pretty loose ringlets, dark and mocha-like.
He smells like leather and something else, maybe plum and black currant- it’s a bit of an all encompassing smell that you like already. He’s much prettier too, he looks tired, but still pretty. His stubble presents a problem, you know it’s going to be your downfall. 
“It’s alright, we keep a tight ship. Have they been treating you well?” 
You tilt your head, “The team or the unsubs? Because it’s been too many cases to have real team building.” You grin when Spencer huffs, making his lips twitch. “But I think getting concussed while saving Newbie’s ass counts for something.” 
Luke grumbles as he walks by with his coffee, “You were hired after I was,” patting Spencer on the back when the taller, lithe, man rolls a chair to sit opposite you. 
“Do you still experience headaches or migraines?” Spencer kicks himself when he sees your tongue poke into your cheek- you’re trying hard not to smile at his question. He also thinks he’s doing a shoddy job of flirting but that can be fixed- he’s been in prison for the last three months, he just needs to get back in the swing of things. 
“I’m pretty sure your first official day back starts with you in Emily’s office and not giving me an impromptu physical, Dr. Reid.” His lips twitch again, cheeks jumping as he shakes his head. 
“It’s just a check-up, no physical yet.” he stands, not really giving himself time to overthink what he’s just said. It’s more than a little presumptuous on his part but you don’t call him an asshole or swear at him, so he thinks he’s okay with it. 
“Do you want your desk back, Spencer?” you’re earnest in asking, not wanting to fuck up his routines and his norm. You can tell you like him already and it’s hardly been a fifteen minute conversation. 
“No, it’s okay. I’ll take the one right there.” Spencer points a finger to the desk right in behind yours with a little less severity to his lips, his stubble looking even more attractive as he does so. 
You watch him walk away, willing yourself to be professional about all this, he may be hot but he’s your coworker and you know all about close proximity relationships possibly being shams. You’re not here for that, so Spencer will be a good friend. 
You make your way into the kitchen, steps light as you reach for your mug- a cute blue mug with an orca as the handle. 
“So you come in and the kid’s already obsessed with you?” Rossi’s right beside you, making you jump as you put more than the recommended amount of tablespoons of coffee into your mug. 
“It’s not like that, you all made him out to be this awkward shy mess and he isn’t.” You try to sound as casual as you can, but you profile your own voice and know how it sounds to everyone- wistful. 
“Maybe he’s seen a pretty girl and the ‘awkward shy mess’ melted away,” Rossi places his hands on your shoulders. “He’s a good kid. You can trust in that.” 
You roll your eyes, stirring your coffee. “I’m pretty sure he’s in his thirties, Rossi.” You take the milk from him, pouring it in till your coffee is just at the lip of your mug and smile. “Definitely too old.” 
Rossi waves his hand, “I’ve been married four times, old isn’t a marker for romance anymore. Not when you’re only twenty four.” He leaves you be for a moment, and on your walk back to your desk to fill out the remaining crosswords you mull over his words. 
As you sit, you look down and find it all filled out in black ink, opposed to your blue and you know who did it, if the messy scrawled message is anything to go by- ‘You should get The Washington Post puzzles, much more stimulating.’
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unluckiestmember · 2 months
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YAY, YOU'RE BACK TO WRITING FOR ARCANE. How would the arcane characters react (mainly vi, ekko, and jinx because i would marry, marry, and marry them all!!) to a reader who is sooo affectionate and finds every last thing they do so cute they get cuteness aggression and just jump at them like a cuddle bug often? thank you so much!!
Coming right up!
Arcane x Cuddle Bug! Reader
Characters: Powder/Jinx, Violet "Vi", Ekko, Caitlyn Kiramman, Viktor, Jayce Talis, Mel Medarda, Sevika and Ran.
Warning: None really. SFW.
A/N: Am I the only one who wants to snuggle into Caitlyn? Ugh, I love her so much.
Powder/Jinx
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“Oh! Hey there, sugar! You want to cuddle? Don’t have to ask me twice! I’ll cuddle you so much that you get tired of me! But you’d never get tired of me, right?”
Jinx is a super clingy person, so for you to be as clingy as her it’s like you two are a match made in heaven. There’s barely any time that passes when you two are not touching each other and she lives for your cuddles. It doesn’t matter if you hug her out of nowhere or she sees you about to embrace her, she is stopping everything she is doing and pulling you into the tightest of hugs.
Most of the time if she isn’t causing mayhem in the streets of Zaun or busy with her inventions, she will spend her time just holding you so close and showering your face with the cutest but most childish of kisses. She doesn’t care if it’s in private or public, she will make it known that you two can’t keep your hands off each other. You are her cuddlebug and she is yours and that won’t ever change.
Violet “Vi”
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“Woah there, cuddle bug! You’re gonna make me screw up my workout… Oh forget it. How can I say no to you?”
Because Violet is absolutely touch starved, she will never decline your cuddles, even if you take her by surprise a few times with how you hug her so suddenly. She finds it adorable how you fangirl around her and find everything she does to be awesome or cute. Granted she does wish you’d call her hot or sexy, but knows that isn’t really in tune with your personality.
Regardless, she tries to make sure you know how adorable you are, always telling you while you two are cuddled up together how lucky she is to have you and how you are so adorable. Even when you visit her at work, she’ll try to drop everything and have you run into her arms to pick you up. And every time she’s got time off work or is coming back from a job, she’s automatically looking for you so she could hook you in her arms and never let go.
Ekko
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“Y/N, haha! You know we gotta keep this private, babe- The kids are gonna pounce on us any second now!”
Does Ekko love hugging you? Absolutely. The warmth of your arms around his body makes him stop everything he’s doing and just hug you while calling you his firelight or firefly. Unless he’s calling you an angel or lovebug, which never fails to make Scar either look at you two in awe or roll their eyes in mock annoyance. Unfortunately, Ekko does try his best to make sure you two don’t get super affectionate around the children, especially when it comes to hugs.
Why? Because as soon as you hug him, the children find this as an invitation to gather around him and have him nearly die under a cuteness overload of a group hug. It’s nice as a once in a while occurrence, but all the time? Maybe not. Outside of the reactions you two garnish and even the teasing of you being the firelight king/queen, Ekko lives for your cuddlebug energy, wanting to be in your arms after a long day’s work. It’s always the best way to end the night… 
Caitlyn Kiramman
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“And that’s why if I am able to block this end of the road, I’ll- Oh!... Oh come here, sweetheart. If you wanted to cuddle so badly, you could’ve asked.”
Caitlyn has always been someone who was more subtle with her love, pulling you into brief kisses, cupping your cheek and holding you by your waist. She usually leaves the more out there gestures like hugging and cuddling for you to initiate. But when you do? It might be harder for you to get her off of you instead of the other way around. It can be at work, in her home, outside of work or at an event. As soon as she feels your arms wrap around her slender body, she’s stopping for a second to hold you back and kiss your forehead.
She will continue working if you interrupt her during a briefing or in the middle of cracking a case, but the entire time, she will have at least one arm around your body and make sure you are comfortable. Her comrades tease her about it and she’ll scowl a bit, but she doesn’t care. As far as she can tell, she’s extremely lucky to have you as a lover.
Viktor
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“Ah! Oh, it is just you, zolotse. Remember, you have to warn me of these cute little hugs of yours.”
At first, Viktor wasn’t used to your physical affection and how you were in awe of everything he did. He actually thought you were mocking him at first or being silly. But after a while, especially when the two of you became a couple, he grew accustomed to your affections. He does get a bit startled when you hug him out of nowhere and he does have moments where you cheering him on does make him a bit bashful, but he enjoys your sweet gestures regardless.
He does find it difficult to be as outgoing with his love for you as you are with him, but he does try his best to make you realize he loves you, especially in the form of quality time and calling you by sweet pet names bound to make you blush. Viktor has a tendency to pass out from working too hard and waking up in your arms. And though he’d never say it out loud, you know based on the way he snuggles into you, he adores it and adores you.
Jayce Talis
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“I know what you want and I want it too- So bring it in! I’ve waited all day to be in your arms!”
Because Jayce is always out at work, it’s kind of hard for you two to be around one another all the time. That’s why when he does reunite with you after hours or you two can be together on days off, he’s spending the majority of his free time with you or wrapped around you. He sort of craves for your praise and compliments as much as he craves your cuddles.
Many would compare the councilman to a needy dog wanting his owner’s undivided attention and he definitely gets that through you. Though he may try to act all cool or play coy, everyone knows that you mean so much to him and that he becomes putty around you. Even if they don’t, you’re not afraid to say it aloud. Just make sure Jayce isn’t around or that man will become redder than a beet.
Mel Medarda
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“What’s wrong?... I know that look. You want to- Ah! Well looks like you beat me to the punch, darling. How about we take this to the bed, hmm?”
Mel wasn’t really given physical affection when she was younger. She was more someone who preferred verbal affection with words of affirmation. So when it came to you and how affectionate you are, she found herself adapting and loving physical affection as much as telling you how much she loved you.
Your cuddles and sweet gestures are her personal heaven she loves returning to after a long day’s work, especially if she can spend an evening with you platonically in your shared bed. In your arms, she feels she can air out anything that’s bothering her or interests her, especially when you admit how cute it is when she does. Though this kind of intimate affection is delegated to private quarters, anyone can know from the way Mel speaks of you outside of home and at events that you mean so much to her.
Sevika
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“Yeah! So then I was like screw you, I can do whatever- Hold on. Uh, Y/N. I thought we agreed to not do this at work?”
Sevika is considered the Right Hand of Zaun, a woman who is feared if not respected by her peers. And she’d like to keep it that way. Which means that while you two are at work, she prefers it if you don’t cuddle her around co-workers and give them something to tease her about. You two can only flirt and kiss and even then, it has to be sexy…
But alone, when both of you are away from the public eye, Sevika is at your beck and call wishing for nothing else but to hear your sweet praises and melt into your arms and touch. Expect her to call you the cutest thing ever and tease you on occasion, but afterwards she’s basically a big needy cat, or as she prefers to be called, a panther. It’s moments like these where you can really consider yourself lucky to see a raw side of Sevika. And it was only preserved for you.
If you got any requests for Arcane or X-Men '97, send them my way!
Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, stay hydrated and have a good day! <3
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changeling-droneco · 1 month
Text
Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled
First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but
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This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.
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Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.
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YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD
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I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)
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First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?
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This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???
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Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.
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The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR
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This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management
A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though
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Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.
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I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.
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Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative
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Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!
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Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!
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In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL
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Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!
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My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"
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I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders
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Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.
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I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY
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Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful
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Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company
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Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK
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We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.
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I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.
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Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN
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First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"
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Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?
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If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE
Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes
"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."
First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.
"What is the goal of our content?
To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."
That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign
"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"
Gross
"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."
Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors
"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."
It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.
"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.
How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."
If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd
"It’s okay for the boys to be childish
If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"
More favoritism
"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"
Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.
"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."
I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man
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louloulemons-posts · 2 months
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heyyy. i saw your taking logan fics. do you think you can write a fic of logan and reader but she’s very girly and bimbo like? thank you 🩷
Claws and Frills
wolverine x fem!reader
(x-men wolverine, he’s a big boy)
summary : At first Logan didn’t know how to take you, but now your the first person he finds when he returns to the mansion.
word count : 0.8k
Tumblr media
warnings : not proofread, fluffy, petnames (reader calls logan kitty and the famous bub), readers a necromancer, mentions of violence, blood and killing, readers not really described - only her outfit , hanks a bit of a dick, very very sweet, no established relationship.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
At first Logan didn’t know how to take you, you were unlike anyone he’d ever met. Cooing that Charles had adopted a pet ‘Kitty-cat’ when you first met one another.
It had taken him a few months to realise, you weren’t being condescending, you were truly that sweet and slightly ditzy. Saying that you had the gift of necromancy, controlling those who had passed, along with their powers if they were mutant.
Logan strolled outside of the mansion finding you, lay on your stomach reading a book, a soft lilac blanket beneath you.
A pink dress and short white cardigan hug your figure, as your pink converse lay discarded beside you, showing your white frilly socks.
“Hey Bub,” the man called out, walking over to you. With a grin you turned to him, “Kitty, come sit,” Scooting over to make room for his larger figure, the smile never left your lips.
With a soft groan he sat down next to you, laying back, hands behind his head. “How was your mission?” you asked, placing your book to the side to have your full focus on the man beside you.
With a shrug he spoke, “Went well, stopped the guys.”
“Any blood spilled?” You questioned, head cocked. “Less than last time.”
“And you?”
“Me?” Logan pulled his sunglasses down to rest on his nose, so he could meet your eyes with his own dark ones. “Did any of your blood get spilt?”
“Nothing I couldn’t heal from Bub.”
“Logan you promised-“
“Sometimes it can be helped,” he cut you off, “I did everything I could to be safe and come back to you in one piece, and look here I am.”
He motioned to his long body, dressed in a flannel, unsurprising, a pair of jeans a boots. “Well even if they killed you, you couldn’t be rid of me.”
He laughed, “You’re awful.” With a pout, you sat up on your knees, “What? I have to use my freaky-deaky powers at some point!”
“Freaky-deaky? Is that the technical term?” He smirked. With a groan you spoke, “Don’t, you sound like Hank.”
Logan’s face went serious, “What’s he said to you?” He was ready to shred that blue asshole to pieces for making you feel insecure.
“Nothing, he actually apologised. Charles told him he’d upset me. I mean I know I’m not the smartest sometimes,” Logan tried to cut you off, but you didn’t let him.
“But, I’m not stupid, we actually spent a lot of time talking about, neuroscience. Just because I’m not a total badass like Storm or Jean doesn’t mean I’m an awful hero, I just …” You sighed.
“What Bub?” Logan pushed himself up so you sat face to face. “I just don’t want to stop being myself, and my… gift already makes me feel like I have too.
“Maybe I was given the wrong one, would have been better if I could control plants or I don’t know, talk to animals.”
Logan smiled, pulling a cigar out of his pocket, which you snatched away without a second thought. If it was anyone else, his claws would be out, but it was you.
“Your power doesn’t define you, you know that right? You’re you. You’re sweet and kind, and anyone or anything you’ve controlled with your powers has been as respectful as you can make it.”
“But I’ve killed.”
“And you’ve saved.”
“But-“
“Bub, you’re good, and Hank isn’t a people person, he just talks sometimes. Nobody is a special or as badass as you, I promise.”
“Not even you?”
He titled his head, thinking for a moment, “I might be a close second.”
“Third, Erik’s more scary than you … and Jean oh and Scott-“ he put a hand over your mouth.
You couldn’t help but smile against it, causing his lips to twitch upwards. He pulled his palm away, “Thank you Kitty.”
“Never have to thank me, you know that.” Leaning forward you placed a soft kiss on his cheek, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You really are my favourite person, you know that?”
“You’re crazy,” he said making you laugh, arms coming round your waist, “But you’re my favourite too.”
Pulling away you stroked his face gently, “You’re a good man, you know that right?”
“You tell me most days. Now read to me,” he said, falling onto his back, hands going back behind his head.
Crossing your knees, you sat beside Logans figure, his eyes falling closed. One of his hands moving to stroke your leg softly. “What are we reading?”
With a smirk you spoke, “Pride and Prejudice.”
Logan groaned, “Again?!”
“Hush Kitty.”
And hush he did, listening to your soft voice hand never leaving your leg. Remaining on that soft blanket with you, until the sun began to set and the stars rise.
~ / / / * \ \ \ ~
Thank you so much for reading!
i honestly can’t believe i’ve never done a logan fic but deadpool 3 brought back my obsession big time.
I hope you enjoyed.
Please leave any requests 🫶🏻
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About the "kwamis as mentors" angle: Interesting to read and analyse, yet I can't help but feel they were not necessarily meant to be seen as mentors. At least to me, they seemed to be kind of whacky mascot characters who are tied to the lore, who have a personality to crack a joke or point something out or cause a little situation or be cute, but nothing more.
They are rather naive magical entities chained to jewelry (a fact they don't seem to mind that much or think about at all except for Plagg) and all that talk about "being around for 5000 years" and having seen many holders before is just there to make them seem more wise than they actually act like. From what I've seen on the show I would even assume there's a threshold to how much they can even mature emotionally and understand humans. Sometimes Tikki and Plagg even come off as indifferent and egoistical towards their holders (like an example you gave with Tikki, or Plagg's fixation on cheese over Adrien at times).
So...sorry if I missed it, but why do you view them as mentor characters? You made an interesting post about rom-com vs magical girl and the magical girl part is exactly why I always viewed them just as critters to appeal to kids, but nothing more. I can see that the show's writing is so inconsistent that sometimes they are portrayed as wise but more often then not they are just background noise to get a little interaction on screen so that the characters are not talking to themselves about miraculous stuff or to point something out for the audience.
The show's writing is pretty weird, so there are elements that are hard to get a clear read on. The Kwamis are one such element. When they're one-on-one with their chosen, they often feel like mentors to me. When they're all together, they almost always read like "critters to appeal to kids" (mostly because there are too many of them to let them have individual personalities when they're all together). So while I think that they're supposed to be mentors, it's not like that's the only canon-accurate read.
To dig into what I mean by the one-on-one writing, let's look at this exchange from Feast:
Master Fu: See, Wayzz? If Marinette had kept her Miraculous, the sentimonster would have swallowed her right up. Wayzz: Or she would have transformed into Ladybug and fought it. Master Fu: Sometimes fighting is futile, Wayzz.
And then later on we get this:
Wayzz: Master, look! Ladybug and Cat Noir, despite their ridiculous costumes, they haven't let you down! Wang Fu: That's impossible! They don't have their Miraculous! Wayzz: Master, it's obvious it's them—who else would do something so crazy? Cat Noir (Adrien): Hey, have a taste of this! Some exploding banana split from Bananoir! Ladybug (Marinette): Much tastier than any Miraculous! Wayzz: Look, Master, there's no use in running! Your disciples never give up the fight, no matter what! With or without their Miraculous, they are Ladybug and Cat Noir!
That's some pretty active mentoring right there.
Wayzz is probably the character that feels the most like a mentor to me. When he's with Fu, he feels like Fu's partner or adviser, which is why I think that the Kwami's aren't supposed to just be cute critters. They're regular ol' Jimmy Crickets meant to act as a conscience that the characters can talk to since this is visual media and you want a way for the characters to talk through their thoughts instead of having them do it all internally.
I also present this exchange from Desperada as evidence:
Adrien: Plagg, Ladybug needs me. She needs "Adrien"! Plagg: If you asked me, this whole idea is worse than cheese in a can. Adrien: She thinks I'm the perfect guy for this mission. Plagg: You can't be Cat Noir and another superhero at the same time! Which means that you're not the perfect guy for this mission. Adrien: The Lucky Charm told her I am. Plagg: That's not how it works. Why am I bothering? You're not even listening.
We then get Plagg reiterating that this is a bad idea through multiple loops, ending with this:
Plagg: Ah! At last, you've come to your senses. Adrien: I'm not sure Ladybug will have very fond memories of her experience with "Adrien Agreste". Plagg: Then make up for it as Cat Noir.
See? I told you Plagg can be a good mentor when he wants to! Tikki, take notes!
I'd even call this bit from Sapitos some quality subtle mentoring from Trixx:
Alya: Oh please, Ladybug! We'd make a great team! I could help Cat Noir and you every day! Ladybug:(her earrings ring) I'm about to transform back! Hurry! Alya: Please? Ladybug: I have to go! I'm trusting you! (opens a nearby door and goes inside, so she can detransform) Trixx: You're absolutely right, Alya. I'm sure the three of you would make quite the team! You have all the makings of a true superhero. You're strong, brave; but most of all, you're trustworthy.
Way to both build Alya up and reminder her of her duty, Trixx. Gold star. Quality mentorship!
So are the Kwamis supposed to be mentors? Who knows! I just see them fill the role often enough to feel comfortable judging them through that lens.
Miraculous also isn't the only magical girl team show to make the cute critters into mentors. That's a pretty standard path even though it's also common to see the critters used to sell merch/appeal to kids and nothing more. In terms of classic magical girl team shows, I'd say that the Kwamis are written way more like Luna and Artemis from Sailor Moon than Mini Mew from Tokyo Mew Mew.
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luveline · 4 months
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hi love! i absolutely adore ur writing and u should be so so proud of it. anyway i was just thinking about coworker james when readers car wont start in the parking lot and he like takes a look at it and is under the hood and reader is just like "oh...😍" cause the muscles are OUT and shes down bad
ty lovely 💌 fem
“Oh,” you say, “of course.” 
You drop your face into your steering wheel and sigh. An annoyed burst of sound, not cute or feminine or fun, a grunt of defeat. This sucks. Work sucks, life sucks, your car not starting is the least of your worries and yet somehow the most prevalent. 
How am I gonna get home? you think to yourself, defeated.
“Hey!” someone calls. Jogging, the last person you want to see in the world right now stopping at your door. James frowns at you. “It’s not starting?” 
You pop your door, careful not to pop him at the same time. “How’d you know?” 
“I heard the engine turn over.”
“It’s making a clicking sound,” you say, twisting the key so he can hear it. 
“It’s dead, probably. Your battery.”
James has an odd way of talking occasionally, as though you’ve started a conversation and he’s adding onto it. Remus says it's ADHD. You like it no matter what it is and despite yourself —it’s getting harder to pretend you don’t like him. Like, you hate him, he’s annoying beyond explanation, but your more positive feelings for him are heavy and ever present. So, so heavy.
“I’ll pull my car up and we can give it a jumpstart,” he says. “Easy fix.” 
“You don’t have to go?” 
“What?” 
“You have rugby today.” 
“Oh, no, it's the off season now.” He smiles and you don’t get why. “Let me go get the car.” 
James jogs back to his car and brings it next to yours. Everybody who isn’t Human Resources or security has left already, leaving the car park practically empty, ample room for him to park beside you. He gets back out. 
“I don’t have, uh, cables,” you say.
James gives you a smile that is as patronising as it is attractive. “Don’t worry about it, beautiful. I have everything you need.” 
He feels along the edge of your hood, pops the seal, pushes it up into the air, and hooks the prop rod into place. He’s clearly done it before, and the whole while you’re watching his arm. His rolled sleeves draw attention to the tightness at his bicep, and the moving ligament and muscle of his tricep as he leans into the engine to look things over. “I’m no mechanic, but I do know everything, and I thought maybe things were a bit hot but your engine’s stone cold.” 
“So it’s definitely the battery?” 
“Probably.” He scratches his jaw, peering curiously into the guts of it all. “When was the last time somebody looked in here?” he asks, squinting at you, unaware that he’s the finest thing you’ve ever seen. 
Your breath gets caught. 
“Have you ever had it looked at?” he asks, concerned. 
“I… maybe I did. I think so.” 
“You’re supposed to have it looked at every year? For MOT?” 
“I know, I thought you meant before that.” He’s distracting.
James looks you over. “It’s fine,” he says emphatically, “even if I can’t fix your battery, I can still drive you home. You’re panicking for no reason.” 
“Right.” Panicking! Yes, this is panic.
“Listen, can you get the jump leads from my boot? I have to open the hood.” He gestures for you to go. You do as he’s asked, wobbly, and struggle when you get there to actually open it. You slides your fingers under his car's emblem and flinch as it flies up past your face. 
His boot is surprisingly well organised. There’s a duffel bag to one side half-zipped that showcases a flash of red and white uniform, a pair of formal shoes, a dark jacket folded and hidden behind the bag. You want to be nosey and you don’t want him to think you’re stupid. You rush to grab the cables and almost clip yourself on the boot as you duck from under the boot and round the car. 
James smiles when he sees you. No indication that you’re an imposition, it’s sort of like you’re two friends. 
He pushes his sleeves farther up and digs in. It’s awful, what business does he have looking so sharply put together? You hadn’t thought you were preferential to muscle until right this moment watching James move around your engine like an expert. 
“What are your plans tonight?” 
Your palms are hot behind your back. “I was thinking I’d watch a new movie.” 
“That sounds fun.” He ducks away from the engine. “I don’t watch many movies.”
“What do you do with all your time?” 
“Argue with Sirius about who’s turn it is to wash the dishes.” 
You startle. “You and Sirius live together?” 
James laughs and pulls the leads to his own engine. “You didn’t know that?” 
“You come in different cars.” 
“I come in much earlier than he does. And after work he and Remus always have things to do. It’s weird, isn’t it, how couples are always busy? I feel like I never do anything.” James grins at you. “This is interesting, at least. My Friday night isn’t a total waste.” 
James gets into his car and you into yours. With some fiddling, pleading, and a strange noise, he manages to push life back into your car. His smile when it works is his worst one to date, elated and shockingly handsome. 
That Monday, against your better judgement, you bring him a little carrot cake in a tin. A thank you card felt like too much. 
To his credit, he doesn’t brag to anyone that he saved you. He says thank you for the cake with another real smile, and for some reason, despite the mild weather, he rolls his sleeves up at his desk. Almost like he noticed you…
Well, he couldn’t have. Right?
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