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#no because how are YOU going to assume I had fucking feelings for you because I was being nice to you???
amyrahrose · 1 day
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Content warning: Sukunaxreader smut, penetration, multiple positions, dominant Sukuna! , unprotected sex, pet names, Sexual theme, Adult theme, talking her through it, <READER IS BLACK FEMALE CODED>
Authur's Note→ 18 and Under, GET TA STEPPIN! I know for sure this will be broken into parts, however I'm not sure how many parts will be to this. I just decided to get back into writing little dabbles here and there so I'm honestly just testing the waters with this. Slightly proofread (English is my first language, but even the baddest of Bitches still make mistakes! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I do hope you guys enjoy! 🤎
Synopsis: You’ve decided that you would begin your fitness journey. Accompanying your best friend, today’s the day where you’ll being taking working out and going to the gym seriously (well kind of). Lacking motivation and ready to go back home to lounge around to watch some TV and pig out, that all changes when suddenly you meet this drop dead gorgeous as hell man. Will he be the inspiration you need to continue your new lifestyle?
w.c» 2.1 K
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“Sis, I love you I do, but the gym life isn’t meant for someone like me.” You panted out.
You weren’t sure why the sudden urge to accompany your best friend to the gym came about. Maybe it was because you were tired of always feeling burned out, sluggish and lazy. Possibly because you seen how fit, and fucking sexy, your best friend was getting after starting her fitness journey a while back. Whatever the reason, it went out the window the moment you set foot inside the gym complex with her and tried, very pathetically, to keep up with the routine she’d developed for herself. 
“Fuck this,” you thought, “I’d rather be home eating ice cream while watching Flavor of Love.” 
“See, that’s your problem right there. Rather be watching old TV shows and being lazy then getting your sexy on.” She fired back at you making you realize the last thought was actually out loud. You rolled your eyes playfully before glancing back over to her. 
 Both you and your best friend were on the treadmill walking at an incline with the speed up more that you would have liked. She was barely breaking a sweat, having gotten comfortable on the machine while jamming out to her workout playlist. She had on a two-piece workout set, showing off her toned stomach and big ass. You glanced around the gym, catching a few of the men every now and then peeking over at her, trying to get her attention. 
You on the other hand, you were barely making it. Panting like a dog in heat, your workout set you borrowed from her was sweated out, and your puff was starting to frizz out from all the sweating going on in your head. You could only imaged how you may have looked to everyone else inside the gym.
“C’mon Jade, I applaud you for your fitness journey but obviously I’m not ready, I should have at least started off slow so I could get used to it.” You whined out. She snorted out a laugh while throwing you a look. 
“Oh no ma’am, I tried to do that for you, but you were the one that said you could keep up.” She said as a matter of fact. All you could do was huff in annoyance at her response, because she was right. You figured anything she could do you would’ve been able to. You assumed it wouldn’t have been that bad, but you quickly seen the lie in that. 
“Whatever.” You mumbled as she smiled triumphantly, knowing she won the argument. 
“I’m not even tripping,” You began, “I’m about to get my unfit ass off this treadmill and head home, take a shower and be lazy.” You said determined. 
“Seriously Y/n? We’ve barely been here for forty-five minutes.” She looked at you with a judgemental look. You promised, no matter how much you might’ve complained, to see it through and finish the workout. But fuck that, Flavor of Love and a tube of ice cream was calling your ass. 
“Nah sis, I tap out. And there’s nothing or no one that’s gonna make me change my mi-”
“Uh excuse me miss?” 
You heard a deep, baritone voice sound off behind you. Startled, you whipped your head around to tell off the person for interrupting your monologue only to be stopped dead in your tracks with the sight before you. 
There stood a man, looking like the epitome of a gym God. You were met with a chiseled face, a smirk etched across his features. Sharp, bold crimson red eyes that stared down at you with a glint of amusement and playfulness. He graced you with his shirt off showing his toned washboard abs, littered with tattoos and sweat cascading down his torso, all the way down to his deep V-line. Gray gym shorts that hung dangerous low off his hips, not missing the way he was flexing his sculptured legs. Along with huge forearms that were decorated with dark line tattoos as well. 
In the mist of eye fucking the man, you briefly forgot you were on a moving treadmill, almost busting your ass in front of him and the whole gym. Before making a fool of yourself, he caught you just as you were about to fall off. Wrapping his huge forearms around your waist, securing you in place.
“Woah, you alright ma?” He asked. You looked up to his face, seeing his eyebrows furrow in concern. You also caught the sweat dripping, oh so deliciously off the tip of his nose, resisting the sudden urge to reach up and poke the tip of your tongue out to catch it. 
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” You thought to yourself.
You gulped as you stared into deep into his crimson eyes, becoming entranced by them. He shook you lightly to capture your attention again.
 “Hey, you sure you good?” He asked again. He wrapped his arms around you tighter while staring back into your eyes waiting on a response. 
“Y/n, girl say something.” Your best friend broke the silence. You gasped and looked down, becoming embarrassed by your actions.
“Oh yea, I’m good, thank you for catching me.” You answered timidly. 
Being plushed against his chest, you melted like puddy feeling the vibrations coming off from his deep chuckle at your response. 
“Good, wouldn’t want a pretty lil’ thing like you hurting herself.” He answered with a smirk. 
You looked up at him shocked, making his smirk deepen. 
“Maybe being at the gym wasn’t so bad.” You thought. 
“I hate to break up this lil’ love session, but we were in the middle of working out. While at least I was, my friend here was getting ready to lea-” Jade started before you cut her off abruptly. 
“Oh uh yea, I actually was about to get off the treadmill and head over to start on the stair master.” You found yourself saying, trying to give off the impression you come to the gym all the time. Without having to look back at your best friend you know she was giving you a “Bitch, are you serious” look into the back of your head, so much so it made your scalp start itching.
The man, still with his arms around you, let out a deep laugh this time. 
“Is that so ma? ‘Cause from the looks of it, you seem like you was struggling on this treadmill.” He said with a hint of playfulness in his voice. His response caught you off-guard while it made Jade throw her head back, cackling. Caught red handed, you chuckled lightly. 
“Was it that obvious?” You asked, not realizing you placed your hands on-top of his forearms while standing comfortably in his embrace, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He smiled down at your while unconsciously giving you a light squeeze. 
“Yea that and your panting, I could hear you over the speakers ma.” He joked causing your to groan in embarrassment. Despite the awkwardness of him catching you in a lie, you both stay in your current position, neither of you moving. Only deepening the stare you both were committed in. Your best friend looked between you and the mysterious man. Dispelling whatever magnetic charm you both had each other captivated in, Jade cleared her through signaling both of you to gaze in her direction. 
“Not trying to be rude or anything, but what exactly was your reasoning for coming over?” Jade got straight to the point. Even though she knew the answer to it. Despite your own thoughts over your appearance, you were drop dead gorgeous. From you bra-length natural hair, medium brown complexion, big doe eyes, plush lips and a curvaceous body, Stevie Wonder could even see how fine you were. You just had to get out of your head about your looks. But Jade knew that was easier said that done, otherwise you wouldn’t have forced yourself to accompany her to the gym. However seeing how transfixed you’ve become around this guy, she was more than glad that you did tag along. 
“Oh uh right, well I seen how hard of a time she was having with the treadmill, I just wanted to come over and suggest a few pointers.” The man stated. He wasn’t lying, that was part of his reason for coming over. The other part was to introduce himself to you. He noticed you the moment you and your best friend walked inside the gym and was immediately hooked. He knew without a doubt he wasn’t leaving this gym until he at least got your name, and hopefully your number. 
“Oh how sweet of you.” Jade said playfully when an idea popped inside of her mind. She threw a cheshire cat smile at the both of you before continuing her statement. 
“Seeing that you want to make sure Y/n is doing the workouts correctly, why don’t you guys start coming to the gym together.” She said with a glint in her eyes.
“If motivation is what you want”, Jade thought to herself, he’s definitely all the motivation you need Y/n.” 
You whipped your head around almost giving yourself whiplash, looking at your best friend as if she just lost her mind. From the looks of the guy, he took his workouts serious. You barely kept up with Jade, why in the hell did she think you would be able to keep up with him?
You were getting ready to shoot down the idea when he began talking. 
“I don’t mind ma, that’s if you’re up to it?” He asked hopeful. He was silently thanking your best friend for being his voluntary wingman in assisting a chance for him to see you again. You turned back to face him, meeting his hopeful stare and small smile, giving you all the push you needed to slowly nod your head yes at the proposal. His smile deepened as he squeezed you once more. Realizing you were still in his arms, his actions caused you to gasp slightly, making Jade chuckle at the interaction. 
“Cool, I work out pretty much everyday around eight at night, so whatever day works best for you ma, I’m available.” He stated as he looked down into your light brown, doe eyes. He couldn’t help but image how they would be closed slightly, hooded with lust as he pinned you under him while he thrusted deep ins-
“Sure, uhm how about this Wednesday night? That’ll work best.” You cut off his thoughts with your proposal. Coughing as he blushed from his vivid thoughts, he nodded in acknowledgement. Hell, you could’ve said to meet up on Mars at the eleventh hour to workout, he would’ve made damn sure to make it work just to be around you again. 
Sliding his arms from around your waist, you tried to hide the disappointed sigh that escaped from your lips, causing him to smirk lightly. 
“Alright ma, that’s a bet. Give me your number and I’ll text you later to make sure you don’t flake on me.” He joked. You rolled your eyes playfully and smacked your teeth, causing him to shoot his eyebrows up in amusement. 
“Oh she has a ‘lil attitude problem, I’m gonna have to set that straight.” He thought to himself. 
“Boy whatever.” You said as you tried hiding your smile. You reached out your hand, signaling for him to hand over his phone. You typed in your cell number and text yourself so you could go in later and put him into your contact list. Handing him back his phone, he let his hand intertwine with yours longer than it needed to be, sparking an electric jolt to course from your fingertips all the way over your body. 
“Cool, I’ll see you Wednesday ma.” He said with a small smile before turning away to walk back to the area he was working out at. You gave a small nod, about to turn back to Jade before realizing you never caught his name. In a hurry you called out to him to grab his attention. 
“Hey wait, I never got your name?” You said with a small pout. The action making his dick stir a little in his gray shorts. 
He looked you up and down before catching your gaze again with a smirk to his lips. 
“Sukuna.” He said with wink and turned to leave. 
You stayed hypnotized in the same spot he left you, watching his figure walk away before you heard your best friend behind you. 
“See you got your own Flavor of Love right here, didn’t even have to go home for it.” 
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© 2024 Amyrahrose. Please do not translate, copy, plagiarize, or repost (sharing links is fine 🤎) without my permission. You will only find my entries/content on tumblr!
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valentine-cafe · 3 days
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Hi there! I normally walk just past this place, but something smelled particularly good. The croissant, maybe? Chocolate? (Dark content, smut)
Yeah so like this is a bit of a weird ask and I know that... but the aesthetics of your page just made me think of an enigma whose body was like that of taffy? Squishy, soft, sticky, and most importantly, stretchy. I was thinking reader would be a man, who was working for the Resistance but ended up in the clutches of some very nefarious people.
Maybe they can start out with just invasive physicals, but it slowly worsens and... yeah. Do as much as you feel comfortable with, please!
Yours truly, Hush~
. ˚◞♡ 𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓 𝒙 𝒃𝒕𝒕𝒎 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ꒰ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓 𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 ꒱◞ ₊˚
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⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ 209 jingyi / bttm male reader ꒱ you caught the mad doctor's eye. he hated the idea of feeling attracted to an experiment. and no matter how much he tried to sate it, he needed to get his hands on you
𖹭. content warnings◞  dark content . experimentation on reader . implied torture . dub con . mind control . explicit content . rough sex . penetrative sex . 0.7k
𖹭. receipts◞  glad that you decided to stop by dear customer<3 one croissant coming up! this honestly was so much fun to write and quickly became my favourite request because I have been itching to write some dark stuff with the herrera husbands<3
. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔 ꒱ m.list . guidelines . characters . lorebook ⊹ ۪ ࣪ 
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𖹭. the mad doctor of valence has certainly seen many peculiar enigma around, but you by far were quite the special case. he is well aware of the classification of “body morphers” under the enigma hat, but you caught his eye in quite the special way.
𖹭. jìngyí had seen you around his brother a few times. he was uncertain why the depths of his soul burned with bitterness. he assumes it was the idea of an enigma type being out there that he had not quite explored. in reality it was you. the fact that a lowly enigma had sparked his interest in a way he never thought it would.
𖹭. he was disgusted, yet thrilled. like a snake eager to sink its fangs into new prey. one can imagine his excitement when his husband admitted to the same dark desires.
𖹭. lucky them. you’d found yourself caught in the last hunt and now found yourself along an examination table. jìngyí did well in exploring your limits. how far your body could go. viscosity? durability? compressibility, torsion, extensibility and temperature? oh he was salivating like a kid in the candy store.
𖹭. he especially loved the way that you would scream. how your voice would change depending on the shape and condition your elastic body was in. he found himself especially fascinated with how you’d cry when his hand would bury into your squishy side or around your sticky neck. even your tears tasted sweet.
𖹭. no matter all his experiments, he couldn’t rid himself of those dark desires that plagued his very being. so what better than to offer you a place in his circus? to perform, to live - while he induced you with a mind control mechanic?
𖹭. oh how you begged for him. how he adored the way your body would wrap around him and cling like a lovesick fool while he pounded your tight, gummy walls. one strong arm wrapped around whatever amalgamation your figure took while the other palmed at your squishy ass.
𖹭. you felt amazing. his mind would swim with pleasure every time his thick cock buried and throbbed into your warmth. he’d cream you so many times an over. it mattered how much or how long he fucked you over whatever surface he could find — he’d always end up cum drunk.
𖹭. jìngyí would be in a state when you started wrapping around him more intensely. extending your hands to provide him more pleasure as well. he’d bite down on whatever soft, messy flesh he could and buck his hips into yours like a feral animal.
“god you are so tight,”
a pant. a ragged groan. snake pupils constrict and his lips part. displaying fangs extended and blood on his tongue. soon to be more when he buried his cold face into your chest and bit again.
“h-hngh fuck -” your hand reaches to cling onto his hip. feel the way that he’s pounding your poor ass raw. filling it to the brim and fucking out his cum onto your thighs from the sheer intensity of his thrusts.
“d-don’t stop - dontstopdontstopdont -”
you choke out when strong fingers squeeze around your dick. a calloused thumb rubbing messy circles around your tip.
“you are disgusting.” the deep hiss finds your ear. followed by a hiccupping moan. his brows crease and he messily thumps his hips against yours as he tenses and squirts your walls white once more.
“d-disgusting little creature. but ah, d-damn. . . do you feel so good.”
he’d hoist you up. twisting your limps into whatever way he wishes as he presses you up against the examination table and goes for a third round. a fourth. a fifth. anything to ease this insatiable sweet tooth.
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𖹭. taglist◞ wanna join the taglist? fill out this form
𖹭. remember◞ you make a writer's day every time you like, reblog and/or comment on their piece. if you enjoyed my work, please considering doing so<3
. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 ꒱ tip jar . masterist ⊹ ۪ ࣪
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tirfpikachu · 2 days
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you are not "detrans" you are cis
i'm definitely what you'd call cis too! though cis/bio womanhood is not at all what most tras assume it's like. especially detrans cis/bio womanhood. and for me, the label detrans helped me find others like me. it kept me from hating my own guts. it helped me find a community of ppl who actually understand what i've been through and don't think i'm a freak.
living as trans for 13 years changed what mainstream tras would call my gender identity forever. it also is a way for me to find people who also went thru what i went thru. i get a lot of DMs from other detrans women and detrans men who lived as trans or even transitioned partially/fully like me (i was on testosterone for a bit and have an awkward bit of annoying af stubble T_T gotta get expensive laser for that... it can be isolating!). to me, i will never again be a fully cis woman. i will forever be affected with having struggled with intense dysphoria for 13+ years. i also feel like my cis womanhood in general has forever been changed with me having rejected it and then finding it again - it does NOT feel the same way as my girlhood did. in girlhood, i didn't give a shit what people thought girls or boys needed to do. doubly so because i was autistic. then puberty came, and the usual teenage girl and/or afab experience of needing to conform to cispatriarchal expectations came, and i freaked the fuck out about my boobs, about how boys were suddenly treating me and the things my shitty female relatives told me were "becoming a woman" (all very conservative notions of womanhood) and it grossed me out so badly, on top of grappling with being into other afab people, and i just totally distanced myself from girlhood at all. i gave up on making my own scrungly, gender nonconforming version of girlhood. girlhood felt like it had no room for people like me.
and so i kicked it out of my mind. i obsessed over becoming a boy. some trans boys, ofc, become happily trans men. for me, though, it personally was an escape. i was trans-identified for all the wrong reasons and it really fucked me up. it made my internalized lesbophobia so much worse, to the point where i even started identifying as pansexual/bisexual (PREPOSTEROUS thing for me since i had never ever in my entire life been attracted to a man or someone living as male in society... but i was into non-transitioned transmasc people, so i thought i couldn't possibly be lesbian!). for me, the trans identity was a bandaid, it was a crutch in the worst possible way. detrans people aren't trying to make trans people look bad. we're not trying to convert y'all, we don't give a shit. we're too busy grappling with our newfound connection to cis womanhood/cis manhood and dealing with transition-related issues.
we NEED to find fellow detrans folks or we'll go batshit crazy with shame at having made a mistake, guilt at being weaponized without our consent against the trans community, and just fucking hating how hrt/surgeries affected our bodies and trying to come to terms with that and learning to love our bodies as they are despite it all.
detrans cis womanhood will never be normie cis womanhood.
detrans cis manhood will never be normie detrans manhood.
living as trans for years affects you DEEPLY. trans people should know this first-hand. detrans folks, simply by starting to live as cis / bio men/women again, cannot suddenly erase all those years as if they never existed. we just can't. i'm sorry. i tried. dear goddess i really fucking tried harder than you'll ever know. and so did so many of my detrans friends and my darling detrans girlfriend.
but detrans people need other detrans people.
mainstream tras don't understand us.
cis/bio radfems who aren't detrans often misrepresent us.
we need eachother.
and our voices NEED to be heard too.
both radfems AND mainstream tras don't get it.
detrans & desisted folks NEED sisterhood & siblinghood.
only detrans women understand other detrans women.
only detrans men understand other detrans men.
i will always be seeking out lost detrans sisters. and i will always want to hear out my detrans brothers. i love my detrans/desisted community. we've been through really hard shit, we're more likely to be gay, more likely to be traumatized, more likely to be autistic. we're not what you think. and now you need to sit down and hear our stories. sorry. it has to happen. or feel free to block all detrans voices and plug your ears and go lalala! and now i'm not talking to you specifically anon, i don't want to put assumptions in your little mouth. but i'm talking to ALL mainstream trans activists, anti-radfems especially, who assume the very worst of us from the get-go. those who want detrans & desisted people to pretend we were always cis and normies who should pretend to not be deeply affected by our real lived detrans/desisted experiences. we will not shut up. we refuse to. both radblr and normie leftblr misrepresent us.
our voices matter. or, at the very least, we deserve to put detrans/desisted in our bios so we can find one another. shoutout to my detrans & desisted siblings!!! i love you!!!! <33
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tgmsunmontue · 2 days
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Season to Taste - 17/? WIP
Explicit Hangster - Celebrity Chef Bradley and Naval Aviator Jake Seresin who have a relationship spanning the globe before they realize how tightly bound they are to one another. Heading into this little world.
PROLOGUE/ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE
TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN FORTEEN FIFTEEN SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
                While they travel together most people assume Vi and him are a couple, it helps a lot of the time. They end up sharing a room or bed as they move around. It does make hooking up difficult, but he either resorts to bathroom stalls, or going home with guys after letting Vi do her hard ass security routine where she insists on taking any guys photo before she lets Bradley leave with him. Annoying as fuck but he’s certain he dodges some real bullets because of it. On the rarer instances when he’s hooked up with a woman she’s done the same thing, although it had resulted in more than one awkward proposition for a threesome. He knows Vi doesn’t do casual, but she’s more than happy acting as his wingman, and telling him that in no uncertain terms she doesn’t find him at all attractive and never will.
                Spending nearly every waking moment together for weeks and then months on end helps solidify their relationship. He’s never had a sibling, and while Vi has two sisters, they’re both quite a bit older though, so he can only think that this must be what it’s like. She knows him, has known him, for several years now and even though she never likens their relationship to that of siblings she definitely calls him cousin openly and consistently, treats him like he’s family in a way he can’t imagine having any other way without calling her sister. Cousin. Whatever.
…            …            …
                He wakes up feeling the most well rested he has in ages, muscles pleasantly sore, blankets warm, air conditioning making the room cooler and he takes a moment to just burrow down further beneath the blankets and smiles to himself. This is what everyone wants him to do when they tell him he needs a vacation. If this is what it’s going to be like then he’s going to be much more easily persuaded. He stretches and reaches for his phone, surprised to see it’s after ten. He needs to ring Vi and check in and make sure the restaurant hasn’t fallen down, not that he doesn’t trust those he left in charge, but it’s his, and he’s been gone for a while and it doesn’t always sit right leaving it for so long. However he trusts Vi implicitly and she won’t hold back telling him if he needs to come home, no matter how much she thinks he needs a break.
                “Come up for breath huh?”
                “Hello to you too.”
                “You’re having a sexcation, I’m surprised you’re awake.”
                “Jake’s gone to see his family.”
                “Oh. Right. Of course. I see how it is. You’re bored.”
                “I’m…” he lets out a long calming breath, “I wanted to check in with you. See how it’s going in my absence?”
                “I came back to a pile of ash and am busy filling in the insurance paperwork…”
                “Vi…”
                “Everything is fine. Everyone is fine. We created a well-oiled machine and it’s working exactly as it should. Calm down and enjoy you sexcation…”
                “What if it’s… more than that.”
                “What do you mean?”
                Bradley bites his lip, wonders if he should just blurt out that he’s already asked Jake to consider dating him, having a long distance relationship and trying something, no matter how crazy or difficult it might be. If he tells Vi he’s already done it, she’ll support him, without question. However if he asks her opinion then he’ll also get it, honest and brutal and he’s terrified it might not be supportive but he still wants to hear it.
                “So, I met his sister yesterday. One of his sisters. She invited me to dinner to meet the rest of his family tomorrow night… I really like him.”
                “Yeah. Of course you do. He’s your Cinderfella.”
                “Cinderfella was a fairytale, Jake is… a cocky asshole who adds sauce to everything.”
                “And yet you like him anyway.”
                “I do. I do like him.”
                “Yeah. I could tell. You going to actually do anything about it other than just… sex?”
                “Do you think I should?”
                “I’m not making that decision for you. But… He was learning Italian. Maybe on the off chance that he might one day meet you again. I mean. Slim to zero chances if you were actually Italian, but he was doing it anyway. He makes you laugh. His stupid sauce thing. You think it’s fucking cute and funny. It’s like he’s made you loosen up a bit and that’s… it’s good to see. I want you to be happy and more relaxed and if you have to be with a guy that adds sauce to everything to be happy then I will make sacrifices…”
                “Wow. Big of you.”
                “What is the worst he can say? No, right? Thanks but no thanks?”
                “Yeah.”
                “And what’s the best he can say?”
                “I love you, lets run off to Vegas and get married?” Bradley jokes, because he’s already had the conversation with Jake, and Vi is already pushing him to asking. And Maria had been doing the same, so having family also think that they might work together. Despite the distance and jobs. To try it.
                “Holy shit, you’re thinking about marrying this guy.”
                “What? No I’m not.”
                “You literally just mentioned running off to Vegas to get married!”
                “It was hypothetical!”
                “And if he asked?”
                “I’d… I’d say yes,” Bradley says, but he has to hold back laughter, because he wouldn’t, but god does he want Vi to think he would.
                “Oh my god, you’re serious.”
                “He’s not going to propose marriage Vi.”
                “Well, still more likely than him saying no to whatever it is you’re going to ask him… Bradley. You’ve met his family. Well. A sister. He’s met me, which is as much family as you have and talk to on the East Coast. You’ve shoving several months into two weeks… But do not, under any circumstances run off to fucking Vegas and get married. Aunt Silvia would kill you as soon as she caught wind of it.”
                “Well, I’m not going to ask him,” Bradley says, grinning, because god he loves winding her up.
                “Why not? You have to take a risk sometime…”
                “I’m not going to ask him, because we already talked about it yesterday and we’re… dating. Going to try the whole long distance th-”
                “Mamma Mia! Stronzo!” Vi snaps out, followed by further strings of insults in Italian and Bradley laughs at her annoyance, feels accomplished in a way that only annoying her brings.
                “Yeah yeah, think of me tomorrow when I’m meeting his entire family. For the record, he has five sisters.”
                “Oh… oh that’s beautiful. That’s what I call karma. Stronzo.”
                “Yeah, laugh it up. Can’t be any more intimidating the Nana and Nonna.”
                “True. Think you’ll take him to Italy?”
                “It’s been six days. How about we just… slow it down. Take it easy.”
                “Hmm. From the guy who has already decided to date him and try long distance. And yet I’m the one suggesting crazy shit.”
                Bradley groans, and he knows what he’s going to ask next isn’t going to help at all in terms of making Vi think he’s not rushing into things.
                “His sister clocked me as soon as I walked in by the way. She’s a fan.”
                “And?”
                “Jake has no idea who I am…”
                “Oh… oh shit. That’s not going to work.”
                “He knows my name. But he doesn’t like watching reality TV. He saw one of my recipe books, that Maria owns, and he didn’t even blink. Was just… oh, good for you. You’ve done a cook book.”
                “Okay. So maybe he’s just very chill about it?”
                “Maria thinks he’s oblivious and will remain oblivious.”
                “Maria is…”
                “His sister. She invited me to dinner. To meet everyone else. Said that Jake can be pretty blind to things even when it’s right in front of him. And that she’ll… maybe help him remain in the dark a little?”
                “That’s not a good idea.”
                “Not in a bad way. Just… she’s warning all of Jake’s other sisters, so they don’t make a big deal and are prepared when I turn up. She was not prepared for me to turn up, Jake had been calling me Leo the whole time. I’m lucky she just rolled with it. We’d met at the market as well, so…”
                “He knows your name though right?”
                “Yeah. And Maria calls me Bradley.”
                “Oh. So… he knows you’re a chef, that you’ve done some books and what…?”
                “That I work in a restaurant in New York. But also that I travel a lot for work. Sometimes.”
                “You do travel a lot.”
                “Yep.”
                “Okay. Well, for the record I think you should maybe try and spell it out for him.”
                “It’s kind of nice having him like me for just me…”
                “Leonardo…” Vi says, and he can hear the reproach in her tone. “He already likes you. Don’t think he’s going to care about your very limited claim to fame.”
                “Yeah, but you know people think of me differently when they see the TV version of me, and then meet me in person.”
                “I don’t think Jake is going to be one of them.”
                “Yeah? Why do you think that?”
                “Because of the way he adds sauce to fucking everything. If there was a guy who cared less about what you do for a job I challenge you to find him. Salsa scandalo.”
…            …            …
                “So… want to tell us about him?”
                “Why bother? You’re just going to grill him tomorrow.”
                Again silent looks are exchanged and Jake realizes that maybe Olivia is also an owner of Leo’s cookbook.
                “Are you a fan of his?” Jake asks.
                “I…” she starts, looks to Maria. “Yes.”
                “Great.”
                “Okay, you guys cannot make a big deal or embarrass me, okay?”
                “This is the first person you’ve ever brought home. It’s kind of a big deal.”
                “If you guys screw this up for me, he’ll also be the last guy I ever bring home.”
                “Okay okay, we’ll be on our best behavior. We promise.”
                Jake doesn’t trust that statement at all but it’s not like he has much choice in the matter.
EIGHTEEN
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shroomyifiy · 24 hours
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Hello DRDT fandom! Here’s yet another person throwing their hat into the ring about the Chapter 2 culprit.
Spoilers for Episode 14 below.
Yeah no Ace is probably the killer.
Now before anyone comes for me, hear me out!
We know that, currently, the culprit is between Ace and Eden. One of them definitely took the tape, no doubt about that, and is most likely the killer. You could argue the existence of a third party culprit, but currently, it has to be one of them. So we are going to ignore that for now. I will now break down why I believe Ace is the killer.
Step 1: Tape
Okay, first off, the tape. That motherfucking tape.
The tape is located directly in front of Ace’s feet, and disappears the moment he gets up and exclaims he’s alive. At this moment, he also knocks Eden to the ground, making it just a small amount of time for either of them to grab the tape.
Now, we don’t know where anyone directly is besides Ace, due to the way the series is presented. Meaning, we have no idea where either Teruko or Eden were standing relative to Ace revealing he was alive.
A big point for the Eden truthers is that when she was knocked over, she picked it up. Now, it’s possible that she could do so without either of them seeing her do this (Ace was currently bleeding and Teruko wasn’t paying attention to the tape). But, I feel like we need to look at the crime scene.
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Teruko specifically tells Eden to “Not touch anything”, so we can assume that Teruko wouldn’t have moved anything around too much during her original investigation. So then that leaves us with an interesting thing.
Teruko and Eden both have to be standing by Ace’s body when he gets up (Eden because he pushes her and Teruko because she is mentioned to have touched his neck, and realized he was still alive). But one thing to note is that the area around Ace is rather messy and cluttered. Meaning, there are likely two spots that Eden could be standing at (3 for Teruko, but we will ignore that one for now).
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Visually speaking, Eden needs to be standing in spots 1 or 2 to fit the criteria. If she’s in spot three, she’d have been pushed over the bench, and most certainly couldn’t have gotten the tape, and also would have made more noise. (side note: Teruko is either in spots 1 or 3, but currently, her position isn’t as important. For Culprit!Eden to work though, she cannot be in spot 2, which is the most unlikely spot anyways)
If Eden was standing in spot 2, she would have been more likely to be able to grab the tape without issue (as it would be right in front of her feet). While spot 1 could also work, Eden would have had to reach a much farther distance to grab it, and given she’s not knocked down long, I feel like Teruko would have noticed Eden crawling to grab it more than spot 2.
For Ace to grab the tape, we already know where he is relative to the tape, so we don’t need to explain that.
Now, when either of them got up, it’s likely they would have used their hands to push off from the ground near their feet, which is what they would have to do to grab the tape without being noticed. Otherwise, it would be impossible to grab it without being noticed.
You might be asking yourself, “Shroomy, why the fuck does it matter where Eden (and by extention, Teruko) were standing? That’s such a weird and minor detail!”
THE FUCKING TAPE DISSAPEARING WHEN ACE GETS UP/KNOCKS EDEN OVER IS SUCH A MINOR DETAIL TO START WITH!!!!
Ahem… I mean, clearly, the crime scene of Ace plays a part in Arei’s death. And since such a major piece of evidence comes from such a scene, doesn’t it make sense that eventually, body positions would come up? Especially considering just how cluttered the area was. It’s so minor, but it might be the smoking gun to solve the case.
Now, why would either of them pick it up in the first place?
With Eden, she has to be actively making a decision to grab it for whatever reason. Same with Ace, although you could make more of an argument that he grabbed it either a: help his wound or b: by accident, grabbed it and didn’t realize due to the whole murder thing. Also option c: to murder Nico with it, but that’s less likely.
Honestly, despite being what ties them both to the crime, I really don’t see why either of them would grab the tape, especially since, given how fast everything went, I doubt it was either of their first thoughts to recreate Nico’s murder attempt for their own murder, at least in the moment.
Moving on!
Step 2: The murder method
One of the big pieces of evidence against Ace right now is that, “Oh, he was just attacked. There’s no way he would have realized how he was attacked and would know how to replicate it, he’s not that smart!”
First off, let’s address Ace and his stupidity. Okay, yeah, he’s not the brightest person, but saying he’s not smart isn’t accurate. There are no truly “dumb” characters in drdt, at least in my opinion. And Ace has been shown before to have some intelligence.
For one thing, he is on Teruko’s side during the scrum debate in episode 8 of Chapter 1. Which might be weird to call out, but seeing as a lot of the “smarter” characters were on the other side (namely David [being a xander simp as per usual] and Veronika), Now while this isn’t enough to prove it and he did argue with her before in this same trial, it’s definitely noteworthy to mention.
And also, the carousel thing. The fact that it keeps being Ace that corrects Teruko on what it’s called is funny, but it’s also heavily linked to the murder.
Also also, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for yet another person in this cast to have been keeping a mask up. Someone is making a heel turn between these two, so realistically, this could be Ace’s. And also, despite being shown as “dumb”, Ace at least has some understanding of shit, considering his whole monologue about Levi. I’d have to rewatch a lot of episodes to further confirm this, but I doubt Ace is as stupid as some people think.
Now, the second problem. Ace being almost murdered and then using that same method to murder Arei seems like a bit much, doesn’t it? How could he have figured it out the second he woke up?
He didn’t. He would have fully figured it out AFTER he went back to his room and stopped trying to murder Nico, when he calmed down. (Which is what I think happened with Eden if she is the culprit, mind you)
Because, logically looking at the crime scene, ain’t no way either of them figured it out just by looking at it for like what? A few minutes? No way, I don’t buy it.
But here’s the thing. Ace does have an advantage over Eden here. That being, he woke up during the murder attempt, as confirmed by Nico in the latest episode. Huh. After Ace had claimed to not remember the method because he was unconscious the whole time? Hmmmmm?
No way that little piece of info isn’t going to be important. Especially considering this is the first time we’re hearing about it.
“Shroomy, that’s still not enough to prove Ace over Eden!” I hear you cry out.
Time for the smoking gun.
You know why Nico’s drop hanging attempt failed? It’s not because Ace was too heavy for the fan? No.
It’s because Ace was able to fight back when he woke up.
And what is one of the big differences that hasn’t been brought up yet in this case?
The fact that Arei’s wrists were bound at some point, to keep her from fighting back.
Nico and Ace are the only people who would know about this. Because, again, no one knew Ace woke up during the attempt. So, if Ace were to recreate the murder for Arei, he would know to bind her wrists so she doesn’t fight back. Because it’s why he survived in the first place.
Moving on, using this method would work for Ace, because 1: frames Nico who he hates, 2: Ace is probably a little weakened from almost dying, using a pulley method would be easier than risking Arei escaping.
Now rapid fire mode!
Why use fish from the relaxation room? Frame both Nico (primary) and David (secondary).
The killer probably used the ball of clothes to get the rope up and broke the lights doing so. Eden is the weakest one there, and Ace could have the strength to do so.
Why target Arei? Ace probably didn’t care who he killed, he doesn't care about anyone there.
How would he know about the conversation in the infirmary? We cannot deny that someone could have overheard it. Also, Ace has already been established as eavesdropping earlier in the trial. (this happens the same day as his murder attempt, btw)
Ace has spent most of the trial pointing fingers at others (even in the investigation, he’s the first to draw attention to Nico trying to kill him and Arei dying; knowing the cases are connected, this is interesting).
Wow, that's crazy. Loose connection but still.
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He’s also the whole reason David had his magical girl transformation, giving the smoking gun evidence that he and Arei met up.
Which, you know, derailed the trial a lot. Like, 2 or 3 episodes worth of time that could have been used to solve the trial faster?
Huh. Now it's that something.
But, what does this mean for the story?
Step 3: Arei and Ace; Teruko, Eden, and thematics
Both start off as unlikable assholes. But Arei wanted to change, and both Eden and David gave her a hand to begin that change. But she’s murdered before that could happen. Ace rejects anyone’s hand, not trusting anyone and causing more issues. One who tried to be better, and one who got much worse. In a way, they’re parallels in this instance. Two parallels getting killed in the same chapter? Where have I seen this before?
Yeah Min and Xander (i miss you both ;-;)
This is the part where I talk about Min and Eden parallels.
Ain’t no way drdtdev is going to make the same repeat of the last trial’s conclusion. The hugs!!!! The crying!!! Teruko, who points out when Eden tries to investigate with her in this chapter that Min did the same thing to deceive her. Eden, who was crying for someone to believe she didn’t kill Arei. Teruko, who decides to trust Eden, the same way that Eden was the only one to believe in Teruko in the last trial.
Eden, who would be able to prove David and Teruko’s points wrong. Who believed in Arei, that she could be her friend! Eden, who if was revealed to be the killer, would likely send Teruko down a worse path, being betrayed for the third time now.
Ace, who shares Teruko’s views that no one can be trusted, and who isolated himself from everyone. Ace who, despite how much I love him, would show Teruko how isolating herself from everyone else would lead to her death. Ace, who would be a dark reflection on what Teruko could have been, had she continued down that path. Both were almost killed, but one who tried to murder everyone to get out and the other who saved everyone from getting killed.
The narrative themes of trust and distrust.
Teruko’s secret quote for god's sake!!!!!
It’s too much to not go anywhere guys!!!
Okay, I think that’s it for now. Sorry if this sounds like I’m rambling too much, or if it doesn’t make much sense. First time posting something here lol. But this series makes me sick!!!!!/pos
I like both Eden and Ace, and don’t want it to be either of them, but I doubt it’s a third party at this point. And between the two, I think narratively, it makes more sense for it to be Ace.
And also, guys, we NEED more positive characters going into chapter 3, after how many mentally ill people are around rn. We have enough asshole men now (cough looking at you, Mr. David Chiem cough). Whit is too sus and is either dying or about to get hit with a truckload of emotions to stay stable long enough.
Also, Teruko learning to trust while Eden learns to distrust!! Teruden!!!! YURI NATION SWEEP GUYS!!!!!
If I’m wrong, I might die on the spot (please Eden I need you to stay alive!!!!)
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lazylittledragon · 2 months
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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aroaessidhe · 4 months
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Sword of Kaigen
standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors
follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city
and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage
when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people
#The Sword of Kaigen#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I’ve been meaning to read this for years and I finally got around to it! a really unique fantasy novel#I had always assumed this was ur average pre-industrial high fantasy and then was immediately hit with video games/tv in the first chapter#lmao. But overall (aside from the broader worldbuilding/politics) it is closer to the average ‘historical’ fantasy narrative -#so I can see why I got that impression#Some really compelling characters and interesting narrative structure that went in some unexpected directions.#It really focuses in on one village and how devastating a single battle in a war can be to their people - and how much work the recovery is#I feel like most sff is more concerned with a single person and/or the whole war so this felt unique. did also mean that the pacing was odd#- it's a slow start; then there’s a battle that must be hundreds of pages. The last section of the book feels a little too drawn out#and brings up random hanging plot elements that don’t really go anywhere. But I think overall this works for the story.#also one thing I didn’t love - cool complex interesting female character MC sure but also there’s weird moments like:#the first scene we see her is all the housewives comparing their attractiveness; she keeps referring to herself as an old woman (when she’s#and oh so meek and useless etc. And some of this feels like it’s part of the broader portrayal of the misogynist society#but some of it felt clunky or unintentional?#And then especially the end - when she and her shitty husband finally confront each other as equals and he apologises#she basically immediately forgives him and is like oh I was equally at fault because I am a meek woman who didn’t try either#like him realising he was wrong (and her realising he had a reason for being the way he was) doesn’t negate the fact that he treated her li#she acts like it was her fault for not trying too - when we have numerous examples of him berating her if she spoke up about anything?#like im glad he’s learning. but also that doesn’t mean she needs to suddenly forgive and love him wtf#that's the only real thing that annoyed me though.#also btw that 5yo seems kinda fucked up. are you guys gonna do anything about that
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diviedrawn · 5 months
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I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men I hate men
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batsplat · 3 months
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Pecco and Pedro are probably the people who more than anyone else want to beat Marc. Pecco because he is forced to do it for a matter of survival, his bet next year is to be able to win against Marc with the same bike. Pedro wants to win the first world championship with Marc in MotoGP, even better if he wins it against him, because of course that’s what he wants. I MotoGP your teammate is your first enemy, as surreal as it is, it would be more likely to see Pecco and Pedro helping each other (which would be unlikely anyway because they aren’t the type of people who do that) than one of them helping their teammate , especially if it's Marc. If anything Marc and Pecco have to be intelligent enough to at least not take each other out Portimao style, because in that case there will be someone behind them ready to bite
so I'm going to jump in right away by saying, I know this ask acknowledges it's unlikely but, yeah, pedro and pecco will not be helping each other in any meaningful sense - because they are both serious challengers to each other and they know it. sometimes, riders can be known to help non-team members in fairly small low-key ways (see in this post valentino accusing marc of deliberately towing ducati riders to get them ahead of his actual rivals in brno 2014). for both pecco and pedro, marc is definitely the bigger focus, but they are both perfectly aware of the danger the other poses, and will not be inclined to treat each other as anything other than an active threat
that being said! of course pecco has already nicely demonstrated this season that he does approach his marc fights differently than he does those with other riders (which is broadly the correct and smart thing to do, even if the specifics can be critiqued). portimao even gave us the direct comparison between pecco/pedro and pecco/marc! part of it, yes, will just be an element of self-preservation - marc is now back to being a major roadblock for winning any future championships, and he'll be in pecco's house so will of course require... extra attention. apart from that, it absolutely would be the most meaningful way pecco could win a championship, by beating the famous marc marquez on equal machinery... nobody has done that before, and it would instantly dispel any remaining doubts about pecco's ability and cement his legacy as one of the greats of the sport. he wants to beat marc so badly because marc is one of the two riders he's always been chasing... and marc's absence has left all the young pretenders in this odd place where they've taken the crown but don't quite believe it's theirs yet. (just to say this again, I personally don't share the view that marc's absence diminishes those titles in any way, but it is of course interesting when the riders themselves have these insecurities.) there was that interview from early-ish last year where pecco talked about some of his personal limitations and how he views his own status in the sport:
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fascinating, isn't it? of course, I'm sure a second title will have helped to some extent in making him feel a little more entitled to that status in the sport - but this is not the kind of thing valentino or casey or jorge or marc ever would have said. there's a self-consciousness to pecco, an awareness of his uncertain, shaky journey to the top of the sport, how he's fully cognisant of how different he is to those names... which can be a problem at times - delusion is an athlete's life blood, and while the level headed insight pecco expresses here is arguably admirable, it is not necessarily helpful for him as a champion. on the other hand, sometimes lacking a little in the delusion department can be a good thing if it allows you to deliberately improve yourself, pushed on by the knowledge that you still have a long way to go... pecco's biggest self-inflicted wounds have tended to come when he's at his most comfortable - you can theorise about why this happens, but maybe that striver mindset is exactly what he needs to keep him going. it's still quite the admission to describe his 2022 season as more incomplete than either valentino or marc's title runs. (mind you, it's arguably even less complete a season than some of their misses - of course with valentino you have the obvious ones, but did you know that marc scored an average of 13.44 points in 2015 vs pecco's average of 13.25 in 2022? obvious caveat that in 2015 there were considerably fewer competitive bikes and barely any capable of regularly challenging for race wins.) the need to prove himself is always there with pecco... it keeps peaking through with him, and it absolutely peaks through in his approach to marc. yes, yes, acosta is the future, jorge martin has been his title rival more recently... but of course, beating marc would be special. do you think pecco ever dreamed that of it? do you think he really believed that he could before he was already premier class champion? with most champions, you would say it's likely. with pecco, I'm not quite so sure
as for pedro, yeah, obviously, that's just the cycle continuing lol. deeply curious what those two regularly competing at the sharp end of races looks like. pedro has kinda kept his distance, isn't that much of a marc fan himself... when he talks inspirations he tends to bring up schwantz, stoner, pedrosa, and of course rossi
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schwantz is far from an unusual pick amongst riders, though as the years pass perhaps gradually more so - it certainly reveals an appreciation for the history of the sport. as do the other choices, in a way... let's not forget that acosta was eight years old when casey retired. of course back in the day casey and dani themselves got plenty of criticism for how 'boring' they were - that's just how these things go! nobody's ever nostalgic for the present etc etc
pedro did also talk last year about how the public wants celebrations and rivalries, critiquing how friendly riders are nowadays and saying people want battles like jorge/dani, valentino/marc, and so on (full clip here)
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heartwarming: global number of people who still care about the valentino/sete rivalry is now confirmed at 2 (two)
obviously, you can't just go out and manufacture feuds because you're feeling like it, and pedro's had a pretty quiet rookie season in that sense. but once he feels like he's settled in and can challenge the infamous marc marquez in an actual title fight? on the basis of this rhetoric, you'd at least hope he's not going to be too shy in taking on the challenge. of course he too wants to beat marc more than anyone else... again, it's a question of legacy, how pedro clearly situates himself within the same lineage as both valentino and marc - even if personally he aspires to be more of a successor to the former than the latter. always better to take the crown for yourself, right? this is a kid who's clearly into the history of the sport and is already determined to make himself a big part of that story... weaving himself into that narrative by taking on a legend of the past, taking on the task of disposing with that legend himself. plus, given pedro is so aware of that history - he knows that what people remember are the rivalries. he wants some of that for himself! it'll be interesting to see how proactive he'll be in making that happen, certainly seems like an enterprising young lad
anyhow, yes, plenty of potential for both of those dynamics. and yes, they do very much want to beat marc - but if we're talking about who wants to beat him the most, jorge martin probably deserves a mention right around now. does have to be said that something dumb like the portimao thing is costing pecco and marc this year. it's kind of gone under given the sheer bucketloads of points all the title contenders are throwing away, but pecco would be eight not eighteen points behind in the standings if he had settled for sixth in portimao, and for marc it would be twenty four rather than thirty five points if he'd backed out of the move and had another go on the next lap. relatively unlikely to make a difference at the end of the season... though for mr title decider pecco bagnaia, it sure might be! I did joke about making the pecco/marc portimao thing tradition, but generally speaking two top riders crashing each other out isn't that common a thing, and it's pretty..? rare? that it's the same two riders on multiple occasions? I'm drawing a bit of a blank here, to be honest... then again, title contenders do seem to crash rather more than they used to (admittedly they also have a lot of opportunities now) - so maybe this is going to become a more regular occurrence. but what is more likely to happen is that when you have two competitive riders on the same bike, they do run the risk of taking turns stealing points from each other at the circuits where their bike is at its best. I think pecco and marc can probably minimise this given what a good all-round bike the ducati is across a range of different circuits, and also given that as individual riders they do at least seem to be reasonably distinct in what their strongest and weakest tracks are. all in all, I kind of doubt they'll cost each other like that next year... though admittedly if portimao is anything to go by I may be tempting fate
#still think marc's gonna WIN that fight and it could easily be one sided but I do *hope* it'll be interesting at least#pedro citing casey and schwantz together... actually wonder how casey feels about schwantz these days#brr brr#batsplat responds#//#i think my favourite moment of 'man you people really will not help each other' was late 2017#where you did kinda look at jorge/vale and go. guys marc's about to take a SIXTH title. those are YOUR numbers he's surpassing/threatening#and valentino was the one who mathematically killed his teammate's chance of beating marc by finishing right ahead of him at pi#whereas jorge... well. you know#it's quite funny because the whole time during pi '17 i did have a bit of my brain go 'oh god what if valentino makes marc crash'#because that was some HARD racing and can you IMAGINE what the discourse would've been??#so many people would've assumed he did it on purpose to try and stop marc from winning another title. and it could've done just that!!#kind of ironic? funny? tragic? fitting? that their actual next conflict ended up being over something so incredibly deeply pointless#another miss from my side was having a bit of a feeling about catalunya 2019 given it felt marc had been kinda terse all weekend#bit too close to valentino a bit too often!!#though i suppose it wasn't as much a 'miss' as it was 'jorge what the fuck was that'. i still think i was onto something with that race#wow this is a bit of a tangent... anyway idk always healthy to correct for how self centred these blokes are#not just in the sense of being selfish but also in that they're just thinking about themselves#that being said if you put motegi 2010 and phillip island 2017 side by side it is kind of interesting...#current tag
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sophiethewitch1 · 6 months
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in my hater era
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greenerteacups · 1 year
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in retrospect i knew deathly hallows was not going to be the book i wanted it to be when remus lupin, 37 year-old man and beloved friend of james potter, begs to abandon his pregnant wife and soon-arriving newborn to have fun cool adventures with his friend's kid in the woods
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I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.
It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.
It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.
When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.
Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.
I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.
#one day i will understand how to convey self in a way that is Mine and also Effective Communication#but lord knows it ain't today#it's always so interesting to me the way people decide to position me in their social/power schema#the funny thing i think is that even as a toddler people seemed to assign me a seriousness and gravity of social value that was both#irrational and inexplicable and in many cases wildly inappropriate#apparently one of my auntie's got in a bad way of 'consulting' me like her personal spiritual guide when I was like#two years old????#and she had to be like#you can't keep talking to my toddler about this stuff#that's an extreme one but like#it's also in line with the trend#i don't think people realize how dehumanizing it feels to be Assigned Moral and Social Weight and Value like that#it makes it so painfully clear to me that i am expected to manage to accommodate everyone's needs while never having#or at least never expressing or acknowledging in the presence of others#any needs of my own regardless of their impact on me#sometimes I think people assume that I went into the fields I did as like. a white knight type motivation#or like#that going into the field is what's made me the way I am#and like.#not really. it's more that I knew my role in life was 'other people's emotional regulation/go-to anchor' as long as I've had self-concept#and at a certain point you've been playing that role long enough that your options are either#become a subject matter expert and contributer to the field#or fucking kill yourself#because you certainly can't keep doing what you're doing#i dunno. i guess i just wished there was anyone in my life i trusted to see me as the fully complexified and messy human I am#i might feel a little less like i'm the only real thing in my life#anyway i think i'm gonna go. dissociate out of existence for a while before i get the kind of suicidal that's going to worry wifey#i don't think i can cope with needing to regulate her out of an anxiety response right now and i understand that means i can't need care atm#you ever just get the feeling that you're drowning under the weight of the needs you just can never seem to meet? i do.
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thethingything · 2 months
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also shoutout to the hospital for sending us a bunch of PDFs with information about preparing for surgery and what to expect, except the information was all generic stuff where most of it does't actually apply to wisdom tooth removal, so I had a huge panic attack where I nearly threw up because a bunch of the stuff mentioned in there is extremely triggering for us, only to then find out that stuff literally doesn't apply anyway, but now I feel like I have even less of an idea of what to actually expect because it's so hard to figure out which information does apply
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#posts made on pain meds#emetophobia tw#the thing is one of the PDFs is actually specifically for us and has our name in the file name and has been edited to be the right info#but it's only for one specific thing while all the other information about what to expect is just generic stuff#which makes it even more confusing because it gives the impression that it's all specific to this surgery when it isn't#also it's 13 fucking PDFs and we're supposed to read through all of them#but I managed to skim over like 2 paragraphs from one of the generic ones before I started panicking so hard I nearly threw up#(I tried to read the others while already panicking and you can imagine how this went)#it would be nice if people could fucking communicate with us clearly about what's going on#instead of whatever the fuck this is because now we've had multiple instances of being confused as fuck because nobody explained shit#and also if medical professionals could actually fucking understand how medical trauma works and maybe work with us#to figure out how to make this less distressing so we don't have to keep dealing with panic attacks like this#we're not freaked out by the procedure itself. it's a bunch of the other stuff around it that probably doesn't seem like a huge deal#a lot of it feels very dehumanising and like we don't get a say in what people do to us#and there are lots of little things you can do to make us feel less like we're in control and less like we're being dehumanised#but nobody does that and they don't seem to get why certain stuff would be distressing#also the kind of panic attacks we have with this are ones where we don't seem to be able to calm ourselves down#we literally have to use the ''shove an ice cube/something really spicy in your mouth'' trick when we have them#because our brain will not fucking stop and then we spend the next couple of hours really dazed and struggling to process anything#and obviously I don't fucking want that to happen in a hospital because nobody is gonna handle that well#I'm concerned the nurses won't understand how dissociation works and will keep refusing to let us go home#because of us being really spaced out and woozy from the dissociation because they'll assume it's from the sedation instead#when going home would be the thing that would help us stop being so spaced out because we'd be leaving the triggering environment
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moesartblog · 6 months
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Ok tumblr I’m now begging
BEGGING
That you start treating these “ridiculous drama” scenarios that get boiled down to one sentence the same way you’ve helped people treat “frivolous” lawsuits against major corporations
Because it’s been several times now I’ve seen shit like “chili lady cancelled for sharing food?! The worlds gone mad!!” Without actually knowing the real conversation that was happening about that incident.
Same thing with the DoorDash shit recently
And let me tell you the vast majority of these situations involve disabled people sharing their thoughts and feelings on a topic, and so-called progressives going “you’re fucking re- I mean uh ridiculous! Who would think like this!? Entitled lazy fucks!”
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scringee · 6 months
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This is the only way to express how I'm feeling
#i try not to talk about my home life on here but im honestly so fucking frustrated that if i dont get this out i might just kill someone#my family car broke down in January of this year#my father refuses to get a new one because he thinks hes saving so mucj more money and he doesnt feel like he has any incentive#acting as if he was giving us free trips#i would literally pay him 100 dollars a fucking week to help take me in and out of work#and he just doesnt like acknowledge that at all#so now im having to take ubers to and from work every day. each trip is like 20+ dollars so that 40+ dollars a day five days a week#im averaging spending 200 dollars a week jusy to get into work#and i work a minimum wage shitty fucking job so all of my paycheck goes straight into ubers and fucking therapy every week#ive had to skip so many sessions becaause theyre all 50 dollars after insurance#and im just so frustrated#i want to move out so bad but how can i save enough if im constantly hemorrhaging cash#the only reason hes saving money is because he fucking works from home#i just dont know what to do at this point i feel so helpless#becayse even if hou casually bring it up my dad immediately assumes youre ATTACKING him and how DARE you and im tited im so fucking tired#how am i meant to move out in these conditions#how am i meant to do anything#i have no fucking social life because i literally just cant afford it im going to cry#i hate him. i hate my dad so fucking much#vent#ig.#scringee mouth
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pepprs · 2 years
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hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.
#purrs#the premises of counseling / therapy are that you need to have boundaries and be self sufficient and fully healed. FUCK THAT! relationships#are not transactions. we are allowed to need each other. we are allowed to blur lines. we are human and messy. our thoughts and feelings ar#PRECIOUS. im not letting go of my thoughts they mean EVERYTHING to me they are the key to the WORLD. im not letting go of redacted why on#EARTH would i stop redacteding to redacted that is HELPFUL for me. i don’t CARE about the roots. who the fuck is it hurting????? NO ONE!!!!#the way he flat out told me he agrees with my mom. bitch im done forever. im done literaly forever. i don’t know how to tell him but im don#forever. maybe it’s just my id which is what he said to me LMFAO and like maybe i just don’t like being uncomfortable or facing hard truths#but i don’t fucking think it’s TRUE!!!!!!!!!! yeah i need to grow yeah i have unhealthy behaviors. but i don’t need to let go of the whole#THING bc of some arbitrary transactional concept of what relationships are supposed to be / mean. ive NEVER had a counselor try to uproot t#the whole damn thing like omg what is WRONG with you. i#im paying this man $25 a week to UNDERSTAND me and not ONCE have i felt understood by him. counselors can disagree with me but i literally#never feel like he is on my side. he’s adhering to conventional ideas about what parents are supposed to be and friends are supposed to be#and work is supposed to be etc etc. and so patronizingly said just enjoy being 23 you don’t wanna waste your 20s! FUCK YOU. i will not#regret anything even if it’s unusual. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!#and also i know he probably watches back thru the recordings and has like his supervisor and professors watch them too which means that#there is a whole team of scientists + my family studying me in a lab and thinking im insane and finding ways to tell me. but fucking bold o#him to assume he can give me any meaningful valuable insight when he is actively checking his laptop / phone during our sessions and rarely#if eve gives me a chance to drive MY OWN CONVERSATION THAT IM PAYING FOR and is so phony abt being on the recording. like Omg. maybe im jus#grown out of it. it fucking SUCKS bc i actually have things i am not normal about and really need help with and i can’t actually get help f#from ppl whose job it is to fucking help me bc they think im not normal about things i PROMISEEEE i am normal about. and the way i effectiv#effectively told him that and he responded that he can’t take that credibly bc there’s no action behind it BY WHICH HE MEANS I HAVENT#STOPPED REDACTEDING TO ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REDACTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE? THAT I HAVENT DECIDED IM DONE LEARNING SND GROWING AND CUT IT#OFF?????? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF. INSANE. the ANTITHESIS of human. we are MEANT TO BE CONNECTED. FUCK!!!!!!!!!#delete later#my old counselors challenged me and disagreed with me b it i never felt like they flat out were unwilling to meet me where i am and#compromise with me. is that not what counselors are supposed to do???? or have i just had bad counselors until now??? because im NORMAL. i#swear to fucking god. im normal. im literally normal and it is not doing ANYONE harm. what is wrong with you. GOD
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