#no pressure to share resolutions if you don't want to I have some that are just for me

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

Hiiii, Emily!😊

HI, VICKY!! 😊🥰💖 how's this year treating you, so far? Any resolutions?

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

When They Accidentally Bring Up an Insecurity |Hyunjin

The evening was quiet in the shared apartment you and Hyunjin lived in. The air was filled with a gentle hum from the city outside and the occasional flicker of streetlights casting shadows on the walls. You were sprawled on the couch, your laptop open in front of you, surrounded by papers and notes. A mountain of work and a looming deadline had you feeling overwhelmed, and the pressure was building up inside you.

But you couldn't manage the stress and just sat there, letting it ruminate in your mind that you had these deadlines.

So while you were getting some work done, it was getting done really slowly, and you were utterly exhausted.

But all your life you had been told you were lazy; so work ethic had been engrained in you, and you felt like sometimes it was all you knew how to do.

The deadlines making you stressed, but the stress not allowing you to work on the things that were due. But your deep seeded insecurity making it so you pushed yourself to work even when you weren't in the mental state to do so.

Hyunjin entered the living room, fresh from a dance practice, his face flushed and his clothes slightly damp with sweat.

His dark hair was a little bit stringy with perspiration, a testament to the amount of work he had put in.

"Baby, I'm home."

He greeted you with a warm smile, but his eyes quickly took in the scene of scattered papers and your furrowed brow. “Hey, you look like you’re buried under a lot of work. Everything okay?”

You forced a smile and tried to sound upbeat. “Yeah, just a bit of a tight deadline. I’ll get through it.”

The tall(ish) boy cocked his head at you and set down his duffel bag, opting to walk barefoot rather than put on the matching house slippers you guys had.

Yours were kicked off somewhere in the kitchen.

Hyunjin sat down next to you, glancing at the mess around you. “You know, you don’t have to take on everything at once. Maybe you should take a break or get some help.”

You shook your head, trying to push the frustration down. “I’ll be fine. I just need to power through it.”

Hyunjin’s gaze softened with concern. “I know you’re strong, but it’s okay to admit when you’re struggling. You don’t have to handle everything by yourself.”

"Hyunjin, I said I'm fine."

He huffed. "You're not fine Y/N. I see your obviously struggling."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Hyunjin stop-"

"No. Take a break."

"I need to get this done."

"Your mental health comes first." He stated firmly, collecting your papers.

"Hyunjin stop-"

"Not until you eat." He said collecting your papers. "You need to step away from this for a second-" He grabbed multiple piles of papers that were obviously separated and you let out a noise as Hyunjin put the piles together, then adding it into another pile of other papers.

"Hyunjin what the fuck?!" You exclaimed as you rushed up from the couch and started sorting through the papers. "Shit..." You groaned, feeling tears brim your eyes in anger and frustration and exhaustion. "Are you kidding me right now Hyunjin?" You grit out looking at him.

Hyunjin stood resolute. "No, I'm serious Y/N! You're mental health is declining! You're focused on work so much that you don't even have time to focus on anything else! Even taking care of yourself, are you seriously okay with that?!"

His voice was loud, and you logically knew he wasn't yelling at you; he didn't mean to yell, he wasn't angry he was concerned but you didn't want to process the reality of the situation.

So instead you burst out into tears.

Hyunjin's eyes immediately widened, thinking you were crying because of him.

"Baby- no, no, no, baby don't cry please...please..." He said making his way to you. "No, I didn't mean to make you cry...I'm sorry...baby...I'm sorry..."

You fell limp into his arms and he held you, his chin resting on top of his head as you cried into his chest.

His sweet nothings became silent when he realized you just needed him to hold you.

You felt secure in his embrace, his scent adding a level to that security.

It seemed that you two stood there forever, until Hyunjin looked down to see you had fallen asleep.

Hyunjin knew something was up as he moved you over to the couch, running his hands through your hair.

He let you sleep there, as he looked at your laptop, screen filled with things that he didn;t understand, but knew were of importance to your job.

He sighed and wished he could do something to help, looking at the pile of papers and realizing that he had probably messed up something based on your reaction.

You woke up, and the lights in your living room were still on, but the clock in it showed that it was 4 in the morning.

"Jagiya?" Hyunjin said quietly, rubbing his eyes as you sat up from his lap.

You noticed he was still in his practice clothes.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

Hyunjin shook his head, looking at you with tired eyes. "Are you okay?"

You blinked.

"Are you truly okay?" He asked quietly.

You swallowed and shook your head.

"Can you help me at least understand? Help me understand why work is so important that you set aside your needs?"

You opened your mouth, it felt dry but you spoke.

"I just have to." You said, not wanting to discuss things further at the moment.

Hyunjin was tempted to ask you to continue, but he knew you would come to him when you needed.

The next day went buy in a flash, as you spent most of it sorting out what Hyunjin had mixed together.

That evening, as you both settled down for bed, the tension from the previous day seemed to linger in the quiet space of your room. Hyunjin lay on his side, scrolling through his phone, while you lay on your back, staring at the ceiling.

“Hyunjin,” you said quietly, breaking the silence. “Do you ever get overwhelmed with things, but keep going to make other people happy?”

He looked over at you, his brow slightly furrowed. He set his phone down and turned his body to you. “Do you?”

You hesitated before responding, your voice tinged with vulnerability. “I'm tired but...I don't want to be called lazy. I've spent my entire life being labeled that and I came here to start over. Yet...I feel like...I'm not measuring up. Maybe those people were right to call me lazy. I'm stuck in a cycle of wanting to quit, because I'm tired to the point of tears Hyunjin, I'm tired.” You licked some of the tears off your top lip and gulped for air. "But I don't want people to think I'm quitting because I'm lazy I just don't know if I can handle it anymore."

Hyunjin’s expression shifted from curiosity to concern. He sat up, turning to face you fully. “Did my comment hurt you?”

The vulnerability in your voice had clearly affected him. He reached out and took your hand gently. “I don’t want you to think that it was meant to hurt you. Rather, love, I'm sort of disproving your insecurity...not invalidating but disproving. Because I think you work too much, love. I see you day after day work yourself until you can barely move. It hurts me to see you disregard yourself for something like work.”

You felt one tear escape as you looked at him, trying to keep your emotions in check. “It’s just hard when that's how I've programmed my brain."

Hyunjin’s expression softened further, and he scooted closer to you, pulling you into a comforting embrace. “I want you to know that it’s okay to lean on me when you’re feeling overwhelmed. You don’t have to go through everything alone. Your struggles are valid, and I’m here to support you.”

You nestled into his embrace, finding solace in the warmth of his presence. Letting yourself completely go. “I'm tired, Jinnie. I can't take it anymore.”

Hyunjin stroked your hair gently, his voice soothing. “Do you love me?”

You sniffed and nodded.

"Then, can you stop hurting the person I love most and let me take care of them?" He murmured while brushing your hair back from your face so it wouldn't stick to the tears.

You couldn't even reply, but by the way your fingers tightened their grip around his shirt he took it as enough of an answer.

The room was filled with a sense of calm as you both lay there together, the weight of the day slowly lifting. Hyunjin’s reassuring words and the comfort of his embrace helped to ease the anxiety you had been carrying and quickly lulled you to sleep.

In the months that followed, Hyunjin worked silently to make sure that you didn't have to feel stressed. He made you use up your vacation time- weeks upon weeks that had piled up due to your refusal to use them.

And the week before your vacation ended, Hyunjin came to you, squatting down in front of you as you sat on the floor of his art studio, covered in paint and splattering it everywhere in abstract expression. You had a real smile on your face as you looked up at him, a bit of red paint streaked across you making it look like you had a unibrow.

"Hi, Jinnie!" You exclaimed rubbing the paint onto your pants. Hyunjin smiled and spoke.

"You're happy." He stated.

"I am, it's...been really nice. Not having to work..." You bit your lip. "I go back next week."

Hyunjin licked his bottom lip. "How about you don't?"

You stared at him wide eyed.

"Come work with me. I talked to the company and explained everything. They're okay with you coming to work for us. You've always liked taking pictures, so they're willing to offer you a position as a photographer. It'll only be about 30 hours a week because of our other photographers; and you might not have to anything other than really be at the photoshoots to help out the others, but they're kind and you can still stay around us when you're not working. Or, you can help script some of our videos. Or my personal favorite is you just travel and hang out with me and let me invest all my money in you." His head was tilted slightly as he looked at you.

"Do...Can I really do that? Work for you guys? You won't think I'm lazy?"

Your hopeful and amazed tone broke Hyunjin's heart slightly, that the opportunity to work a less cumbersome job was something so foreign to you that you were that excited.

"Of course, baby." He said so quietly it was almost inaudible.

You nodded enthusiastically, looking for your phone. "I need to write my two weeks and-"

"No, baby. Just quit. Don't worry about the repercussions or anything. Let me take care of you. No one is going to call you lazy. I won't allow it. Because taking care of yourself is a job within itself. A never ending one at that."

He placed a kiss on your cheek.

"So, don't let that be an insecurity anymore. Let me take on your workload. Take all your effort."

He smiled.

"And put it into you, because you're the priority now."

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg

[batterycows]

Ochako’s Confession: A Togachako Analysis

I don't usually write down or post analysis, but if I didn't put this down somewhere I was at risk of grabbing a stranger off the street and asking whether they knew about the doomed toxic yuri in hit manga series My Hero Academia.

Now, I think it was expected to some degree that Uraraka would have some big cathartic confession where she finally embraced her feelings for Izuku. And while she did admit her feeelings, the moment wasn't... that

And honestly, why would it be? In the end, Uraraka had no reason to confess her feelings. She didn't suffer from hiding them, on the contrary. Her crush was beginning to hinder her performance as a Hero, and all bottling them up did was help her improve. Sure, suppression is bad and all but ultimately, Uraraka seemed better off pushing her feelings aside. Especially when compared to Toga, who literally broke under the pressure of her hidden feelings. There was nothing pushing Uraraka to confess other than the vague sentiment that “suppressing your feelings is Bad.”

Yet, the importance of being open about your feelings is repeatedly emphasized during Toga's and Uraraka's arcs. It's what drove Toga to villainy, and something she tried to bond with Uraraka over. Something they shared. So the setup for a confession is there, but no satisfying resolution.

That's cause Izuku is a red herring.

Indeed, being honest about her feelings was vital for Uraraka, but it had nothing to with Izuku. Because the feelings Uraraka was suppressing all along, the ones that she needed to let out, were her feelings for Toga.

The envy she felt during their first meeting, how lovely she found Toga's smile. How much it troubled Uraraka when it was replaced with tears. Girl likes boy is as conventional as it gets. But a Hero sympathizing for a Villain in a society that dehumanizes them? Now that makes Uraraka kind of weird. And she knows it, that these thoughts go against everything she knows about society, about her role as a Hero. So she tried pushing all that away.

But she can't run from her feelings forever. And in the end, it's those feelings that allow Uraraka to save the day. Her arc deals with humanization. She wonders "who saves Heroes" until she's wondering "who saves Villains?" and finds that in this case, the answer is each other.

How did Uraraka and Toga save each other? By imitating each other, by being like someone they love.

Uraraka envied Toga's unapologetic openness, so she took a page from her book and told her everything she had been hiding and mulling over since they met. She stopped pushing Toga away and finally answered every one-sided conversation they've had. They're chatting about love, and Uraraka is finally responding.

A girl's feelings can change the world, and Uraraka being honest about her feelings is what allowed her to reach Toga's heart and save her. This is how Uraraka became a Hero.

Toga also saved Uraraka by imitating her. In a very literal sense by Transforming into Uraraka (being "cute" like Uraraka) but I think also in the way she used her Quirk. Until now, Toga believed the only way for her to live freely was through violence. When her Quirk awakened, Toga used Zero Gravity to kill. But now, she's imitating Uraraka on a deeper level. Uraraka who said her Quirk isn't made to hurt people, so Toga used her own Quirk to save Uraraka. For the first time, she realized she could love and be loved without violence.

Uraraka and Toga's confrontation was the long awaited end of a conversation. Nearly a year before Toga had tried to bond with Uraraka, asked her whether she liked someone, whether she wanted to be like them? Uraraka finally confessed: Yes, I want to be like you.

[thefrogman]

Fishing for Follows

I don't really like Instagram.

It does a bad job of displaying photos as an artist intends. So artists have to adapt their photos to conform to how Instagram works. Any photography that involves high resolution detail get shrunk down and compressed and usually seen on a tiny screen. But if you do want to see it on a proper screen, the desktop version of the site still shrinks your work and dedicates half the page to comments. Put the comments underneath! They want you to use their crops and their shitty filters. And for some reason, everyone uses reels now instead of just a regular post. Timers make me anxious! I don't like the pressure of having to consume the content in the time alotted. Sometimes my brain works slow and I just want to process what I'm seeing. And then if I want to come back and see that thing again, IT'S GONE! Why do you all like self-destruction so much?

Oh and there is no real community sharing infrastructure so if you want to build any kind of following it's like twice as hard.

Instagram kinda sucks, is what I'm saying.

But I am trying to be a legit photographer again and Instagram is where all of the photographers seem to end up.

And if I want to get clients at some point I will be asked, "what's your Insta?" from people wanting to vet my work and see if I have chops.

So I am trying to curate a collection of my best work.

Due to being a full time caregiver for both of my parents, I had to quit photography for a few years. Most of my work was captured before 2017, but it is all edited in 2024. So, I was not nearly as good at lighting, but I can mostly make up for that with my much more advanced editing skills.

Like, I took this photo of a shoe with a full studio setup and fancy lights.

Cut to present day, my studio is now a storage room, my fancy lights are gone, and all I have is a tiny front room and two inexpensive video lights.

I feel like I did more with less.

I spent these past 6 years studying the blade.

My brain is filled with so much knowledge.

And once I rebuild my studio, I'm going to photograph some cool shit.

And so... if you don't mind...

Would you please follow me on Insta?

Do I really have to say it like that?

Can I just say Instagram? Embrace my age a little?

[starrylothcat]

Hey Starry! Wasn't sure if those prompts you shared were an invitation for requests, but I thought I'd shoot my shot.

❛ i love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one else has felt you before, been inside you. they don't get to have you, but i do. ❜

With either Fives, Jesse, or Kix? Or someone else if you're not feeling them. And a f!reader if that's okay. I'm a sucker for first-time sex.

Feel free to ignore!

First Time

Pairing: Jesse x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Jesse having been dating for awhile and you decide to go all the way with him.

Warnings: Smut, NSFW. 18+. PiV sex, virgin reader’s first time, some cuteness and fluffy ending. A hint of possessive Jesse.

WC: ~2300

A/N: Sorry this took so long, anon! The holiday season has been a whirlwind for me and I’m finally at a place where I have time to write! I’m also a sucker for first-time sex, I hope this is what you had in mind. Enjoy some Juicy Jesse! This is also my first time writing him so I hope I did him some justice 😊

When Jesse escorted you back to your apartment after your dinner date, you knew you wouldn’t be watching a Holomovie like you suggested.

You and the ARC trooper have been dating for a bit now, taking it slow and getting to know one another.

You’ve had short-term relationships in the past, but they never seemed to work out. You were getting ready to give up and knew trying to find a partner during a war no less was a silly dream.

When Jesse waltzed into your life, though, his boyish charm and resolute dedication to his brothers won you over quickly. You never expected to date a soldier, but when Jesse asked you out for a caf, the rest was history.

Everything was so easy with Jesse, and you didn’t want to rush it or mess it up. And he didn’t either.

As your relationship progressed and became more serious and physical, you told him you were technically a virgin, not yet going all the way with a partner.

Jesse just smiled and kissed you, saying you could go as slow as you needed. He would never pressure you into something you weren’t ready for.

You had barely started the Holomovie when Jesse’s lips were on yours, fervent and passionate, taking the breath out of one another’s lungs with each pass of your lips and caress of one another’s bodies.

You were soon on your bed, stripped of both your clothes, kissing and exploring, mumbling praise and pleasured sighs, basking in one another’s arousal.

Jesse had just finished satisfying you with his mouth and fingers, something he took great pride in and would happily do all night if you let him.

Jesse smiled into your neck pressing his rigid length into your thigh, waiting for you to catch your breath after your orgasm.

This is when you’d return the favor, taking him in your mouth or hand, fulfilling him just as much as he pleasured you.

You had other plans, though. You wanted him inside you. You were ready for the next step.

“Jesse…I want you. I want all of you.” You whispered, lightly tracing his facial tattoo as he locked eyes with yours.

“Are you sure?” He asked, studying your face, making sure he was understanding what you were asking.

“I am sure, Jesse.” You smiled, still gently tracing his face. “We’ve been together for a while now and…I want my first time to be with you. I’m ready if you are.”

“Yes, Maker, yes I am.”

Jesse closed his eyes, kissing you deeply, his heart fluttering at the thought, both from his nerves and the trust you were bestowing upon him.

When he pulled away for a breath, he also pulled himself away from you.

“Let me know if you want to stop at any time.”

You nodded. “I will. Don’t worry Jesse.”

“I can sit against the headboard, so you can be in control.” Jesse nipped at your neck, the realization of him burying himself inside your soft, beautiful pussy exciting him beyond measure.

You agreed, adjusting yourself so you sat on his lap, his back against the headboard on your bed.

You slowly rubbed your slick pussy on his thick cock, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. You both moaned, and Jesse took hold of your plush hips.

You could feel how hot and ready Jesse’s cock was for you, precum dribbling from his swollen tip.

You needed him inside you.

You grasped his bulky shoulders as you lined yourself up, pressing his tip to your entrance.

You sunk on him, slowly. Your breath hitched as he entered you, immediately feeling the intrusion. Jesse let out a low moan as your velvety walls enveloped him.

“That’s right, baby. Take your time.” Jesse rubbed your back as you sank lower, adjusting to his size. You were used to his fingers, but they were still nowhere near the length or girth of his cock.

“Jesse,” you quietly gasped, stopping momentarily, almost bottoming out.

“If it’s too much, we can stop-“ Jesse looked worried, bringing his hands to cup your face.

“N-no.” You smiled, kissing him gently on the lips. “I want to keep going.”

He nodded, letting out a low moan as you fully took him, a sound that sent a jolt of desire straight to your core.

“Kriff, baby, you feel amazing.” His pupils were blown, his hands now tenderly cupping your breasts, squeezing and kneading as he let you take the lead.

You gripped his shoulders, moving your hips a little, still adjusting to him inside you. You weren’t entirely sure what to expect, but it was better than any fantasy. You felt so full, so close to him. Connected not just physically, but emotionally as well.

“You feel amazing, too.”

Pleasure was beginning to override the discomfort of his girth inside you, allowing your body to relax and focusing your mind on how amazing you felt.

You honed in on how good his fingers were as they played with your breasts and his shallow breathing through his nose as you tightened around him.

You gave him a coy smile, moving slightly.

“Ah, Jesse, you’re so good inside me.”

Jesse groaned in approval, latching his lips to your nipple, sucking and nibbling as you began to slowly ride him.

“So wet…so warm…” He moaned into the flesh of your breasts as he reveled in everything that were you. “Wanna stay like this forever…” Jesse locked eyes with you. “You feel incredible around me.

Every delicious sound that left your lips as you rolled your hips on him stoked the fire that was burning in his body. You felt like heaven.

“So perfect.” Jesse let out a ragged breath. “You're taking me so well, mesh’la.”

Jesse buried his face in your neck, wrapping his arms around you, inhaling your scent and gently bucking his hips up into you.

You moaned, riding him faster, focusing on how his thick cock felt sliding in and out of you.

Pleasure was now mounting, electric zaps of bliss up your spine every time you sunk on his cock, taking him deeper each time.

Jesse was now moving too, matching your pace and carefully thrusting up into you.

“Tell me if it becomes too much, okay?” Jesse increased his thrusts, sinful sounds leaving his lips as you involuntarily clenched around him.

“It’s good, you’re good, so good Jesse…” Your thighs were beginning to burn, his cock now nudging something deep inside you that made your eyelids flutter.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to keep up this position for long, though, the strain in your thighs from straddling his thick ones beginning to distract you from pleasure.

“Jesse…can we change positions?” You slowed down, easing the tension in your legs.

“Anything for you, mesh’la.” Jesse nodded as you climbed off him, laying on your back. “As long as I get to be back inside you.”

He hovered over you, resting his weight on his forearms around your head.

“Ready?” He kissed your jaw, waiting for your okay to enter you, sliding his cock through your folds.

You nodded, whispering a hoarse “Yes,” desire flooding your senses wholly.

Jesse carefully pressed back into you, both of you sighing at the sensation.

He didn’t move at first, still looking down at you.

“What?” You asked, bashful under his worshipful gaze.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” Jesse murmured, kissing your neck, sucking gently at the spot he knew drove you wild. “So, so beautiful. Your sounds, your body, your everything…”

You mewled at his praise, feeling him twitch inside you as you clenched around him, earning a deep rumble from him, as well as a breathless chuckle.

“Kriff, baby if you keep that up I’m not gonna last…barely holding on as it is.”

Jesse pressed hot kisses from your throat to your jawline, then finally to your lips which he captured in a heated kiss. Your tongues danced as his hips began to move, slowly and with purpose.

You arched yourself up into him, your soft whimpers becoming louder and more desperate moans of his name.

Jesse couldn’t get enough of how your body was reacting to him, how your nails were digging into his shoulder blades, your ankles locked around his waist as you both ascended higher in your shared ecstasy.

Your bodies were perfectly entwined, and Jesse felt something bubble inside him, a possessiveness he hadn’t felt before. As he witnessed your pleasured expressions, feeling the most intimate parts of you that no one had ever felt before, he could barely hold on to his control any longer.

Jesse gripped your hips, pressing his mouth to yours in a passionate, frenzied kiss.

He moaned your name, resting his muscular forearms around your head, his cock hitting deeper than his fingers and tongue have ever been able to go.

“I love that no one else has seen you like this…” Jesse panted against your lips, beginning to move faster, sliding almost out of you, before thrusting in until his hips met yours. “…that no one else has felt you before, been inside you.”

“Ah - Jesse, I’m yours, I’m all yours…!” Your mind was fuzzy with pleasure, his sexy words bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

His voice was deep, desperate, cut with moans as he quickened the snap of his hips into you.

“They don't get to have you, but I do.”

Jesse’s words shot white-hot liquid desire through your veins, his pelvis providing just enough friction to bring you close to your release, but you needed more.

“I need you, please, Jesse I want to come!”

Jesse knew what you were asking for, and didn’t hesitate to place a practiced finger on your swollen and sensitive clit. He rubbed tight circles just the way you liked it, stars appearing in your vision.

“Come for me, baby. Need you.” His voice was husky and deep, laced with desperation as he brought you mind-numbing pleasure.

Your body shuddered beneath him, the coil in your belly winding tighter and tighter, the lewd sounds of where you were connected filling the room pairing with the even more lewd sounds leaving your lips.

“Jesse, I’m gonna, I’m so close…I want to come for you…I…” You gasped out as Jesse laced his free hand with yours above your head. You couldn’t believe how good he felt, how good he made you feel.

You know he had a few short flings in the past like you did, but this was different. It was different for both of you. Jesse had never felt so close, so in tune with a partner before, and you hadn’t either. The realization was almost overwhelming for both of you.

“Come for me, baby, that’s it, just like that.” Jesse’s voice brought you back to reality for a short second, and with a final circle of his finger, your orgasm crashed over your body.

Waves of intense pleasure spread from your spine to the tips of your toes and fingers, accentuated by his cock driving into you again and again.

You weren’t sure how many times you cried out his name as you rode your high, never feeling so connected and cared for as Jesse pressed his lips to yours again, swallowing your broken cries.

“Wh-where?” Jesse could barely speak, his peak nearing dangerously close as your eyelids fluttered open to meet his, bringing his hand from your clit to entwine with your other.

You looked like an angel, flushed and blissed out, your eyes holding nothing but adoration for him.

“Inside, Jesse, please come inside me.”

With a final snap of his hips, he stilled and gave you everything he had, not able to hold back upon hearing those words breathlessly whispered from your swollen lips.

You felt Jesse pulse and fill you with his warm release, his muscles shaking against your body as he hoarsely moaned your name into the side of your neck.

You whispered his name, tracing his back as he relaxed on top of you, his hips slowing as his cock softened, but not quite yet ready to leave you.

You lay there, holding one another. Jesse lifted his head to look at you, smiling. He carefully pulled out, loving your quiet whimper at the loss of him.

Jesse flopped to your side, pulling you into his chest.

“Was that okay?” He sounded nervous, unsure. “I didn’t hurt you or anything?”

“Jesse, it was amazing.” You pecked his lips, nestling your head on his chest. He let out a breath, nuzzling closer to you.

“It really was.”

Jesse kissed the top of your head.

Jesse sat up, lifting himself off the bed. You watched as his tanned, thick body disappeared into your refresher. He emerged a few moments later with a warm, damp towel and you could hear the sound of your bath running.

Jesse carefully cleaned you up before cuddling back with you on the bed.

“You’re incredible, you know that?” He mumbled, absentmindedly drawing circles on your arm with his hand.

“I know.” You smiled, his laugh at your response reverberating in his chest.

“You mean the world to me, mesh’la. I’m glad we could share this together. Thank you for trusting me.”

“It’s more than trust, Jess. You mean the world to me, too, and that’s why I wanted to take the next step in our relationship with you. At least that’s how I see it.” You blushed, hoping you weren’t moving too quickly for him.

Jesse wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “That’s how I see it, too.” His voice was quiet, but absolutely sincere. “I’ve never felt this way toward anyone before.”

You touched your lips to his in a gentle kiss.

“That makes two of us.”

Jesse grinned, his forehead touching yours.

You sat there for a moment as the bath warmed up, basking in new feelings that you knew would only grow from here.

The TL: @crosshairlovebot @sev-on-kamino @kimiheartblade @wizardofrozz @clonemedickix @sunshinesdaydream @kashasenpai @freesia-writes @multi-fan-dom-madness @aconstructofamind @dreamie411 @dystopicjumpsuit @wings-and-beskar @starqueensthings @idontgetanysleep @secretthegriffin @anxiouspineapple99 @sinfulsalutations @secondaryrealm @littlemissmanga @maybethatfanfictionwriter @pb-jellybeans @wanderer-six @king-chaos-world @wolffegirlsunite @dukeoftheblackstar @523rdrebel @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @sleepingsun501 @coraex @cw80831 @dangraccoon @mythical-illustrator @eternal-transcience @the-cantina @nahoney22 @moonlightwarriorqueen @skellymom @reader6898

Dividers by the ever amazing and lovely @dystopicjumpsuit

[chronurgy]

i loveeeeeeeee your hc about gortash in all your tags!!! can you share your favorite hc about durge/gortash shenanigans in the city?

Yeah absolutely! Shenanigans hmmm....

Some of these will be a little more specific to my durge (Vesper, half-drow wizard) than others

During the Hall of Wonders heist, gortash specifically left some guards out of his reconnaissance to test how Durge handled themselves under pressure. He wanted to know if this was someone he would work with or someone too crazy to manage.

Gortash and Durge did a heist in the House of Hope as a trial run for their heist of the Crown - this is when they stole Raphael's shoes (the helldusk armor boots that Gortash keeps in the chest at the foot of his bed). Gortash didn't tell them about his history there or with Raphael before they went in. I think after seeing him there Durge did put at least pieces of it together and really left lots of burn marks and blood and guts spread around in their wake to get back at Raphael. They also broke at least one priceless and irreplaceable vase on "accident" while they were there. Their ire towards Raphael from this realization actually manages to carry over even when they can't remember why and it's partly why they're so determined to kill Raphael and so insistent that they won't work with him.

Gortash takes Durge to fancy parties, for a number of reasons - as a bodyguard, to bring them close to a murder target, to introduce them to the kind of high society stuff they'll be involved with as his co-ruler. But also because he loves to show them off, his darling assassin, loves the vicious little comments they make about the other attendees. He starts finding excuses to bring them to any party he can because he only ever enjoys these parties when they're with him, when he has someone just as brilliant as he is at his side. Durge usually has to attend in disguise but sometimes just dressing up fancy enough not to look like a sewer rat is enough to fool people.

Gortash is the kinda guy who will work himself to exhaustion and then fall asleep at his desk. The first time Durge found him like that, completely dead to the world on top of his diagrams and sketches, they thought about killing him. They imagined every detail, knew exactly how it would go. It would have been so easy, because he's so defenseless like this. They see his eyes moving under their lids, see his hands flex, and little expressions pass over his face - they know he's dreaming. They wonder what he's dreaming about (is it them?). And they don't kill him. They just watch him sleep, fascinated by the differences between the waking man they know and this unguarded sleeping one. They leave before he wakes up. I think they do this a couple of times before he finally catches them (maybe because they try to stroke his hair or something in a fit of softness). At first he's like, "oh my apologies, please don't hesitate to wake me should this happen again" before he puts together the look on Durge's face and realizes they've been watching him sleep and tried to like, touch his hair. He considers this a success because they could've killed him a whole bunch of times and didn't and they seem to be developing some sort of feelings towards him. He resolutely does not acknowledge the existence of any things he could possibly be feeling about this. Not at all.

Gortash keeps a large fancy estate in the city, Durge has a guest room there - it starts out as just an extra room but as they spend more time there Gortash starts to customize it more to their liking. He also moves their room to be next to his once he realizes that they're staying over more often, blaming a maid for knocking over a candle and causing fire damage in their old room when they ask why it was moved.

I think one night they have to have at least one really stupid caper they pulled off while extremely drunk that neither of them will talk about - as an example, they got super drunk, decided that since they were so good at heists they should do more of them, broke into some patriars estate, and stole a ton of fancy liquor. They also stole the bust of some guy from the entryway and staggered up the stairs to escape out the window of the daughter of the house's dressing room. Anyway, they woke up the next morning on the floor of Gortash's bedroom, extremely hungover and both of them (and the bust they stole) were wearing fancy little fascinator hats they can't remember but must have stolen out of the dressing room. They try to laugh at each other but gortash just ends up violently throwing up in a trash bin while durge lies on the floor with their eyes squeezed shut because the room won't stop spinning. They refuse to speak of this and will adamantly deny it ever happened if asked. Durge absolutely killed sceleritas while trying to force him into a stupid hat. The exact series of events might need some workshopping, but the core idea is some extremely stupid adventure the two of them had together that neither would ever admit to but is also a cherished memory for both of them.

Gortash's gauntlets (before he had the netherstone) used a series of capacitors and a setup akin to a self winding watch to generate an electric charge that he could attack people with. He designed them himself.

Vesper finds these gauntlets fascinating. When they first meet in person, he shows them off and discusses their construction and it's the first thing about him that they find impressive and intriguing.

As a gift, Gortash gave Vesper a set of sharpened rings designed after his gauntlets.

Vesper actually helped Gortash with some of the designs for the steel watch, looking at the plans and making suggestions - they were especially helpful when it came to the magical portions of the construct.

I think the closest the Urge ever comes to forcing Vesper to kill Gortash isn't when they first meet or during sex. It's one day when they're waiting for some spy's report, so they're sitting around in his room. He's tinkering with something at his workbench, and they're sitting at a desk working on a spell. They realize they need certain special inks for the transcription and look up to see them in the desk's little shelving unit and then they look closer and realize the desk is stocked with all the things a wizard needs - inks, chalks, paper, magical components. And this is the desk they always sit at when they're here and need to do some work. And Gortash has stocked it as a wizard's desk. He's made it their desk. And he's working at his workbench and they're working at their desk together in companionable silence. It's domestic, almost. And that's when the urge hits, with just absolutely crushing intensity, and they turn on gortash. Jokes on them, he's into that shit. After some back and forth between them (the level of explicitness is up to you! Or me, if I can get my act together and write this!), Vesper more or less jumps out the window and spends the next couple of days cutting a bloody swathe through baldur’s gate. When they finally return to him, gortash just asks them if they enjoyed their little vacation. After that, even when recreating much the same scene, the urge never comes on as strongly again (they don't know it at the time but this is the first time they've managed to throw off Bhaal's yoke when he really wanted them to kill someone. He never pushed that hard again with gortash because he's afraid of the consequences, though he still does push them to kill him a little bit).

Gortash gave durge a number of gifts over their acquaintance, both practical and fantastic: jewelry, enchanted items, clothes, shoes, books, any and everything you can imagine. He loves seeing them using his gifts, carrying or wearing something he gave them, because it helps mark them as his. He spends absolutely lavishly on them, buying them beautiful and fancy clothes for them to wear when they're in his house or out with him in public. He also buys them more practical gifts, well-fitting boots, weapons, armor, all of it enchanted and worth a small fortune.

On some of his gifts to Durge, he encodes messages for them in their cypher. They say things like "For my dearest assassin" and "To the sorrow of all" on a weapon and "pari pasu" (Latin for with equal step) and "I've always liked to play with fire", plus any number of other things.

Gortash has a thing for Durge wearing his clothes. One cold morning durge throws on his black coat when they get out of bed to check something and seeing them wearing nothing but his coat is such a thing for him that he ditches all their plans for the day to spend the day in bed with them.

Gortash has a number of affairs, to help his star rise in the upper city. He may use them to make durge jealous, but they are ultimately people to be used and discarded. He doesn't care what they do, because they're tools. Durge is his. His partner. And that's why he doesn't share.

[toscrollperchancetomeme]

Hi. Could you elaborate on Louis and Florence's views on art and their similarities?

Hi there! It's less about art and more about them sharing several negative traits. We do not get to see to much of Florence, so this is all more educated guessing than anything else, but for me she really radiates the haughtiness and snobbishness that you get from elder ladies that come from old money. Louis has the same snobbishness (he even says himself that he can come across as haughty when Santiago tries to rile him up).

Other traits she shares with Louis: Nothing is ever her fault (e.g. blaming the suicide of her clearly mentally ill son on Louis), she shifts unpleasent responsibilities (Louis has to take care of the family business, Grace apparently has to do all major lifting when it comes to caring for Paul) and she resolutely ignores everything that she does not want to see (Pauls issues and the pressure it puts on the family, the fact that they are living of sex work).

All of these traits can at some point be seen in Louis as well.

(There is probably something more to be said about the singular position of being a black family in Louisiana that comes from old plantatation money at that time, like having a certain status but having very few options to retain that status, and what this does to the way you move through society, etc, but I don't feel like I'm the right person to talk about this.)

[genericpuff]

Hey weird question but what’s your recommend pen pressure for clip studio??? I had the program for a while and enjoying but I can’t seem to get the pressure to feel right

ouu this really will depend on you, some people require different amounts of tension / pressure in their pen grip to feel "right". It also depends on your tablet, some tablets come with a wider range of pressure output - right now the standard across the board seems to be 8192 levels of pressure sensitivity, but other models can come with less and that can limit your range in what's possible (I remember the days when 2048 levels was mind-blowing LMAO and now I'm learning that 8192 is the new norm ?? wild). That said, levels of pressure sensitivity are kind of like resolution differences in TV's - there comes a point where you can't even feasibly see the difference anymore so a higher number in pressure sensitivity isn't necessarily going to make any sort of significant difference for you.

Ultimately what I will suggest is to pick a pen pressure that lightens the burden on your wrist and tablet, you shouldn't have to be digging the pen hard into the surface of the tablet to get lines at their full size. If you find yourself doing that, you should try and lighten the curve of pressure sensitivity in your settings, your tablet surface and joints will thank you.

It should also be noted that you can change both global and brush-specific pen pressure settings. So while I have a general global pen pressure setting that applies to the entire program, some brushes I apply lower - or higher - minimum size values depending on the purpose of the brush. Lining pens for detailed work I'll typically have lower minimum values, whereas large painting brushes I'll keep at a static pressure size because they don't need to get too small for detail and are best expressed with sweeping motions that can be achieved with just a few levels of pressure. And some brushes I just have pressure sensitivity turned off entirely because they're meant to be the same uniform shape throughout!

You should also check your pen tablet's specific pen pressure settings as well. IDK what brand of tablet you're using but they usually require drivers to work and if you start those driver hubs you can find pressure sensitivity settings to apply not just to Clip Studio, but across all software.

I'll share with you my settings if you want to try them, but again, you'll have to adjust them to your needs as what I find comfortable isn't necessarily going to be comfortable for you.

Huion Tablet pen pressure settings:

(I have these set to a linear default, it just means that any customizing I do is exclusive to the program I work in, makes things less complicated for me)

Clip Studio Global pen pressure settings:

You can find this option under File > Pen Pressure Settings; it's where you can adjust the global pen pressure to apply to the entire program regardless of what brush you're using. What's nice about this is that you can actually draw while this is active and it will adjust your settings accordingly to match your technique!

Here's a lil' video demonstrating it:

And of course, just note that regardless of whether you're changing global settings or specific brushes - a higher curve means less pressure is required to achieve the targeted brush size, a lower curve means more pressure is required to achieve the targeted brush size. So if you have a brush set to a size of 15, a higher curve means you won't need as much pressure to get to that size, whereas a lower curve will require more (but that means you can achieve a wider range of smaller sizes leading up to size 15 with a lower curve). Where those curves fall on the graph determines that curve of pressure - if a high curve is immediate, then the range of pressure is very very low; if a curve starts off low but gradually builds up to and ends in a high curve, you'll have to travel that curve of pressure through your technique to achieve that highest point, meaning wider range of size expression, but not necessarily beneficial if you don't need that wide range and want to be able to get from small to big quickly and without much pressure needed.

Specific brush pen pressure settings:

So what's basically happening here is that some brushes have more unique pressure settings tailored to that specific brush (such as the DAUB Basiliscus brush which, iirc, came packaged with those pressure settings, meaning it has unique properties that don't specifically adhere to the global pressure settings I showed above); whereas other brushes have the pen pressure turned off entirely either to prevent it from having dynamic lines, OR to allow it to be manipulated through other pressure settings like tilt/thickness/opacity rather than size.

All of this is why my specific tablet driver has a default linear path for its pen pressure, so that I can alter the necessities of my brushes and software as needed. By default, I don't like having to put too much pressure on my pen to achieve the targeted size value, so my general settings curve in CSP looks like this:

Which means I can achieve that maximum value without too much pressure; if that upper curve was further away from the start point, I would need to apply more pressure to hit it.

Whereas if I need a specific brush to achieve a wide range of pressure expression through a slowly-building curve, then I'll edit those brushes settings to do so! (the DAUB Basiliscus brush seen above is, again, a good example of this, because its pressure curve is the complete OPPOSITE of my global pen pressure settings.)

And if anyone's still struggling to grasp the concept of the pen pressure graph, I think the best way I can compare it is to something like volume, or even video editing fade-outs or animation frame timing. It's all in the timing, if something gets bigger faster you don't get a chance to see what came between point zero and point 100. Here's a visualization with examples in terms of music that is fundamentally the same in how pen pressure operates:

I hope that all makes sense and helps! I probably went into way more detail than necessary but I figure if I'm answering the question anyways, may as well go into more detail for those who might also benefit from this! Especially when it involves graphs LMAO (I'm awful at math but graphs are my jam hahaha)

[yannysif]

Sooo I know I disappeared for a bit again, but this time I was basically doing my own shonen protagonist training arc - been consuming a TON of tutorials and practicing in general, only a few of them are even remotely worth sharing, like this one! I'm not very happy with it, but at the same time, I put in too much effort to let it go to waste so I thought, why not attach a drabble with this because I need to practice my writing alongside my art too..

And so here's a short story of sorts that would take place in the prologue (it won't be exactly like this in-game since I'll have choices and variations to incorporate) hope you enjoy!

"Would you like to dance?"

You look at Lucien as if he's grown an extra head, as he extends his hand to you, waiting. The two of you were taking a stroll in his gardens after dinner, and you were in-between feeling at peace in the environment, and incredibly nervous as you were walking alongside Lucien Lockhart, trying to wrap your head around the fact that he was no longer just your favorite character beyond a screen, he was living, breathing, right next to you, you.

You were quietly taking in the foliage under the moonlight, reveling in the novelty of it, never having had the chance to see such a gorgeous garden at night (but really, everything was new when you were in an entirely different world) when he sprung the question on you.

You could feel his quiet amusement to your reaction, as you stare holes into the palm of his hand, wondering if it was worth taking it, to risk making a completely fool out of yourself in the process, in front of him, and so soon after meeting him? No, you couldn't-

"You are always welcome to say no, please don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to."

Doesn't that just lay on the pressure even more!? But as you look at him and his gentle expression, like you could do no wrong, it felt easier to go along with it. And the moment you placed your hand in his, you felt it was the right choice seeing his face light up from that action alone.

He gently pulls you into position, one hand still holding yours, the other on your waist. He looked for all the world, content, as if it was enough for him just to hold you, have you near. He gives you one last questioning look, silently asking if it's alright to keep going. You can't back out now; you give him a nod, not trusting your voice.

It took all of 2 seconds to step on his foot. Oh this was a terrible idea what were you thinking-

You were brought out of your down-spiral by the sound of your name, prompting you to look up, at his face, his ever present smile when he's near you, immediately providing you with reassurance.

"Don't overthink it, just trust me."

Trust him.

Wasn't that a lot to ask from someone who's practically a stranger? But then again, maybe you weren't. After all, the two of you knew about the other this whole time, when you assumed it was a one-way street. In fact, you think he knows you better (knows you well, too well) than most of the people in your life. You could see it in all the little considerations he made for you in your short time together.

So you couldn't help but want to trust him.

You take a deep breath to ground yourself, and as you do, you could hear music drifting in the air, faint, but present. It was from the musicians Lucien had hired to play during dinner (to welcome you, he explained, when you said it was a bit too much fanfare for someone like you. He promises the next dinner onward would be simpler, for you. You couldn't help but feel a little wonder, at the assured promise of future dinners spent together, like it was only natural.)

So they were still playing, you hadn't noticed from your nervousness, but it made it feel a little less awkward to have some music to dance to.

You set your shoulders, resolute, as you gaze back at Lucien. He gives you a knowing smile, and begins to move again.

Trust him.

And so you do. You let yourself loosen up, trusting him to lead, to go where he pushed and pulled. It takes a moment, but soon the two of you fall into a rhythm, dancing to the music, and soon everything else fell away. You couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips; you were doing it, you were dancing! And when Lucien smiles back at you, eyes filled with nothing but pride and admiration for you, you could feel happiness swell from within you.

"I'm going to spin you, ok?"

The next moment, he gently pulls your arm up and leads you in a twirl, and you couldn't help but feel a little silly(a little giddy) as you enact a scene you could only imagine before.

"Once more"

That was all the warning you get when this time, he lets go of your hand to instead place both on your waist. You couldn't help the gasp ripped out of you when he lifts you for a spin, impossibly stronger than he appeared, but soon devolved into delighted laughter as you grab his shoulders, weightless in the air.

You've never felt freer than you did at this moment.

[the-lonelybarricade]

hi! I recently discovered you tumblr as I usually do most of my reading on AO3, and was curious to see if you had a plan for when you will be updated ACoFD? I absolutely fell in love with your writing (seriously feels like I’m reading a NYT best selling authors work you’re amazing) but noticed it’s been awhile! Of course no pressure as I have plenty of your other stories to delve into that has me excited, but I’m just curious if you have any idea! 🫶🏼 Thank you for sharing these creative-beautiful stories with us!

Hey there!! You're so sweet, thank you for your kind words!

I don't have any specific date or plan for when I'll be updating ACoFD, just that's it's generally on my list of priorities 😅 I need to finish Killing Beron Vanserra before the rest of the ACoFD universe can move forward, which is something I keep telling myself I'll work on next and then I get sidetracked. Finishing ACoFD was my new years resolution so I'm very much determined to start rolling out some updates once I can get my brain to cooperate.

If you want to read something completed in the meantime, I'd recommend As the River Flows or Darling, Let's Run 💕

[fandomshatefatpeople]

hi! so, ik this blog is mostly about fandom stuff, but i was wondering if i could ask for some advice? basically, i'm a skinny person. bony and knobby and tall and always have been. but, my little sister who i adore and love with all my heart is fat, and considered unhealthily "overweight" for her age.

i firmly believe that "fat = unhealthy" is ABSLOUTE BULLSHIT, but i still find myself falling into some weird habits with her--such as resolutely avoiding mentioning that she might be in any way bigger than anyone else (as if it's a bad thing that should be avoided, even though i know it's not!) etc. i do my best to curb those tendencies, but i worry that it's not enough.

in addition, my dad (unlike me) DOES believe that she's unhealthy, and tries to restrict her eating (especially sugar). she's not getting a lack of calories or anything, so i'm not worried about it affecting her physical health too much, but i don't want her to develop a complex because when she was a kid she couldn't have more than one sugary snack a day.

there's roughly a sub-zero chance of convincing my stubbornest-man-on-earth aspie dad that she's not actually going to die of heart disease, so unfortunately i'm helpless on this front. still, if there's anything in particular i can do to support her through it, or if you have any particular advice, i'd love to hear it. it's really important to me to be able to be the best big sister to her i can be, and i worry about her a lot ever since i learned how hard it can be to be a fat person in our world.

thank you so much, and sorry for the long-winded message! any advice is appreciated <3

I want to start with an apology to all of the unanswered asks in my inbox. I started graduate school and am trying not to drown. With that being said, reading this ask tugged at my heart and I had to answer.

To be honest, I don't know how much this will help. I'm not an expert, I'm just a fat woman who thought she was a fat kid who's had to work through decades of fatphobia (internalized and external), but here's what I think might be useful. I would be so grateful for anyone to add helpful, non-fatphobic advice in the comments! Also, your mileage may vary depending on the age of your sister.

One thing that helped me was learning how absolute bullocks things like BMI measurements are. So for that matter is fat = heart disease. If you think you dad would be open to reading it, you could share this with him: Separate and combined associations of body-mass index and abdominal adiposity with cardiovascular disease: collaborative analysis of 58 prospective studies - PubMed (nih.gov) The most important part of this study, for our purposes is this bit, "Interpretation: BMI, waist circumference, and waist-to-hip ratio, whether assessed singly or in combination, do not importantly improve cardiovascular disease risk prediction in people in developed countries when additional information is available for systolic blood pressure, history of diabetes, and lipids."

Other things I think can help is not treating her any differently than anyone else. This sounds obvious, but if you are going out of your way to avoid comparing her size to anyone else's in a conversation where that is relevant then the message she hears could be one of "your body is wrong and I'm embarrassed to talk about it".

It may help to share with her your thoughts on fatphobia as a general topic, letting her know you recognize the value in diverse body types and sizes and how none is better than another. Just knowing that someone she loves and looks up to sees value in bodies like hers can mean a lot. Similarly, if you feel you have the ability to call out fatphobic comments do so, whether she's around or not. Just pushing back with something as simple as, "I don't believe in judging the value of others based on the size of their bodies" or "I don't think that joke was very funny" or even just an unamused stare, can send a huge message.

Another important thing is to be on the lookout for signs of dieting. Dieting is one of the worst things you can do to your health as years of yo-yo dieting are actually worse for your health than "being fat" ever can be.

Forgive me for referring back to my own previous work, but under the cut are some links that might be helpful to combat much of the negative messaging that comes when you are fat.

I am so glad you reached out and I wish you all the best as you support your sister and hopefully help her to thrive!

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

Hi childfree anon! I'm 35 and am here to say: it (may) get better. My parents used to hassle me about my lack of interest in having kids, but my mom is now fully supportive. I don't really know what led her to change her mind -- but it's nothing I did (other than staying resolute in my stance, maybe), just as there's nothing you can do to make your mom change hers. I'm lucky to never have had to face the tough choice you're facing right now with a potential partner, and I'm so sorry he seems to have changed his mind :( I advise a real heart-to-heart about his off-hand comments. Please, *please* don't give in and just have a kid because of pressure. It's a very important decision and there should be enthusiastic consent! Finally, I've felt "less alone" in my decision by following some online accounts that share child-free content, like @lainey.molnar and @richauntiesupreme on instagram. good luck <3 !

Hi Sarah and Anon. I'm an older CF-by-choice girlie, and I highly advise Anon to reconsider her relationship. The second I find out someone is questioning the CF lifestyle, I end the relationship, ideally while it's still young. This has saved me from so much extra pain and wasted time. It's a burden that we CF women bear, having to do things like this to protect our time. Men on the fence can afford to waste your time, but they WILL eventually want kids. Leave now, be strong <3

---

Putting these two together for that anon! Fwiw, I'm not entirely on the "men on the fence will want kids" and "leave now to save yourself the hassle". I think it's worth discussing very seriously with your partner and being upfront and clear about this. I've had friends whose relationships have ended over this topic - especially when someone is on the fence and there's fear that in compromising to not that they may hold resentment over the other person. I would say tread lightly but openly with your partner but if it's something you know that you don't want I can't more aggressively +1 the first anon response here with "Please, please don't give in and just have a kid because of pressure. It's a very important decision and there should be enthusiastic consent!"

[capacle]

New paths going forward

Last November, I shared on Rеddіt my 2-year perspective as a full-time game designer.

Since then, that post's been seen more than 80,000 times.

The conversation helped me investigate aspects of my career going forward.

And some important changes are about to happen.

If you follow me, you probably remember a thread from August, in which I announced that 2022 would be my last attempt to make this path work.

Well, it's 2023.

And although I consider my Раtrеоn a success, I'm still below 50% of my goal.

What now?

One of the major takeaways from that reflection was that I spend most of my time promoting my games, rather than making them.

My actual "job" is selling games, if I'm being honest.

Ironically, I'd potentially make more games if I were not a full-time game designer.

In general, the advice I received on how to make a sustainable living out of games was to double-down on that path.

Do more marketing, follow more trends, become an actual company.

Look at my career as a proper business, not as an art project.

And also:

Foster a community around one of my games, offer support and create supplements, and so on, instead of making many different games.

Either that, or offer my services as a freelance writer/editor.

All these ideas have something in common:

I don't wanna.

It took me a long time and a high dose of self-honesty to admit that I'm not willing to do that.

I've just turned 40, and after leaving a somewhat successful career to pursue my dream, I'm not ready to succumb to what the market demands.

Not quite yet.

So what am I going to do?

Stop.

Not with games, but with the rest.

To become what I truly am, I'm deciding first to stop being what I am not.

No more constant marketing, no more trying to keep up with 11 different social platforms.

I'll still promote and share my (and friends') stuff eventually, but I'll stop worrying about it.

It was like having 20 tabs constantly open on my mind's browser.

Spencer Campbell once said he wishes he could be a TTRPG hermit who goes into the mountains and then eventually emerges with a new game.

Well, I might just try that.

Hopefully, the free time allows me to explore more, to be curious once again.

To let my mind wander.

I'll continue with my Раtrеоn, I love that little cozy corner we created together.

I also polled about creating a game design-focused nеwѕlеttеr, and got an immensely positive response.

So that is going to happen.

Again, with no commercial pressure whatsoever.

I am well aware that this resolution is a self-inflicted commercial annihilation.

The Algorithm™ will swallow me whole and spit me out on the shores of irrelevance.

But I'm tired of swimming against the tide.

I just want to float for a while.

If you like what I do and want to support me on this unusual path I am in, I deeply appreciate you.

I gathered my nеwѕlеttеr, my Раtrеоn, my games, all in one page.

Here are all the ways you can follow me.

Feel free to share it around.

[the---hermit]

Hello! I hope you're doing well.

With the new year (Does 4th of january still count as new year?) I just wanted to tell you that I really look up to you and that you are a bit of a role model for me. You just seem to have your life put together so well. I know one should never take things posted on the internet at face value and that lifes that look perfect on the internet are oftentimes not perfect at all, but I don't think your life is perfect, just that it's good. I would like my life to be a bit more like yours. I hope that doesn't sound weird.

So as my new years resolution I've decided to have a bit more discipline. To stop dreaming about all the things I could do and actually do them. I read more books and actually started gathering ideas for a novel that's been bouncing around in my head for a while now. I even want to start posting reviews of books that I read on goodreads!

So I guess I wanted to tell you thank you for being such a great inspiration and motivation for me. <3

(Also, I'm not sure how this could be taken, but please don't take this as pressure or anything. I don't know if this could be taken as pressure, but if it can, please don't! Just keep being you. You're great!)

💜

Hello anon! I was not expecting to get something like this happy new year to you too!

this was really sweet <3 but i feel like i need to address the fact that my life is definitely not perfect and i have very little control over it. I think i am pretty skilled at keeping in organized and have a good control over the small things like planning what i have to study and small goals, but i am far from having things figured out. What i mean is that we are all on the same boat of trying to do something we are satisfied with in our lives and also trying to be happy while we do that.

I am very happy to hear you are this motivated to finally get to your goals and i wish you the best of luck! those sound like really cool projects and i hope you will keep me updated in the future on how things go! in the years there have been a few reaccurring anons that felt like sharing the progress of their adventures and it always makes me happy when it happens!

thank you for taking some time off your day to write this to me, it was really sweet and it brings me a lot of joy that my tiny corner of the internet can be a happy place for others.

[impostorsshow]

Happy New year everyone! I'm aware my post is late since I am 1 making this post 10 minutes after the New Year started, and also I live in one of the later timezones. However, I wanted to share that as a part of this new year, I've made a resolution; [obligatory read more since editing me has decided this is kinda long]

My resolution is to defeat [not 100%] every Zelda game that I have a copy of or aqquire this year. I think it's a task I can actually do and isn't too far off into impossible land, and to kick it off I spent the entirety of today completing [the first quest] of the original NES Zelda, in one sitting [like its meant to be] and abusing savestates every frame because I don't have very good control over mobility in games god help me if I play a precision platformer like ever. Anyway, completing this game is a very big deal to me, since I normally have a Very Big Issue with actually seeing the end of the game, and on top of that, it's a very hard game that i have held on a pedastal for years, and will continue to do so. I had to use my damn Zelda encyclodia and a guide to skip 70% of the final dungeon, too, though im nowhere near ashamed of that.

Here's proof for my own sake, as well as a few doodles, zelda related things in the encyclopedia that i may or may not do a redraw of later, and just general things that make me happy in my camera roll to start the new years off with some positivity. Remember kids, you don't gotta celebrate shit if it makes you feel bad, but make sure to take as much positivity as you can, however and whenever its avaliable, feeling happy is the difference behind surviving and living. If you don't have a new years resolution or are scared/dislike having one, that's okay and don't let anyone pressure you into that stuff! Just make sure your safe,stable and as happy as you can manage in your current situation.

You can tell this recording is mine because I never upgraded my bombs /j

[saints-who-never-existed]

12, 17, and 26

12. What's some good advice you want to share?

Y'know that popular quote/saying "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing"? It's the opposite of that, really! I'll not claim that it works for everyone but when it comes to self-improvement, I've found that less isn't more and more is actually better.

This year I made no less than eight New Year's Resolutions/Self-Improvement Goals and I've tracked them since in my bullet journal.

The key thing is that I don't force myself to do every single one of those eight things every single day, I just try to do as many as I can. I figure that even if I'm only doing a given thing 10% of the time then that's still a net positive, still an improvement on the 0% of the time I was doing the thing before. And there's no reason that 10% can't gradually become 20%, then 30% and so on.

When approached with that attitude, I've found that doing More Things actually takes a lot of the pressure off and can be a huge mood booster too. There have been many times already that I've had a really shite day for various reasons only to come home, look at my journal, and realise "Oh hey! I actually did, like, 7 of the 8 Things today without even realising! Go me!"

So that's my advice: half-assing multiple little things can be better than whole-assing one thing. You can spread yourself out wide without spreading yourself too thin. :)

17. Name three things that make you happy?

Climbing a mountain and eating a big bar of chocolate as a reward once I get to the top!

Making silly faces and waving at random friendly babies on the Tube!

The feeling of taking the train back home to Scotland and seeing the land around me start to rise right around Yorkshire from interminable flatness into proper lovely big rolling green hills. It just feels right, y'know?

26. Favourite colour and why?

I've answered this many times before, but I'll never get tired of shouting it from the rooftops - red, Red, RED!

It's bold and warm and joyful and vibrant and confident, and I suppose those are all things I strive to be in my everyday life. :)