#no school though yahoo

[hacksawboy]

not enough talk about this photo of costas. look at this shit. hes sitting there like hes on a rap album cover. hes got a nypd outfit AND a beanie on, literaly just put a joint in his hand and he'll look exactly like a photo you'd see in a retrospective documentary about a famous 80s rap artist. he looks like hes about to pop up in the studio and drop some certified jigsaw warehouse classics

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

ON AN AUGUST night in 2003, a young woman who went by the name Paulina sank into the sofa of her modest, rented apartment, opened up her laptop, and began talking about sex with a man she’d recently met in a Yahoo chat group. His name was Stephen Bolen. His first communications had been terse, but he soon warmed to Paulina. It didn’t take long for both of them to begin to open up.

Paulina had told Bolen she lived in the Atlanta area, that she had a three-year-old daughter, that her daughter’s father was no longer in the picture. Soon, she was sharing more intimate details: what it was like growing up a skinny white girl in a rough neighborhood outside of D.C.; how her dad, a Marine, had died by suicide two weeks before she was born; how her mom had been emotionally and physically abusive, and had never really shown her love. How she’d had a sexual relationship with her stepfather.

Paulina would put her daughter to bed and then she and Bolen would chat throughout the night, over Yahoo and sometimes on the phone. The back-and-forth could feel like dating, but with an added element of danger and risk: Both Paulina and Bolen knew they were tiptoeing up to a line to see if they trusted each other enough to cross it. It could take a while to figure that out.

Eventually, Bolen asked Paulina to send pictures of her daughter, and she agreed to do so, though the ones she’d shared were chaste — the little girl clothed and her face turned away from the camera or obscured behind an untamable halo of blond curls. After seeing the pictures, Bolen asked to meet. While a lot of the men Paulina had encountered in chatrooms like “Sex With Younger” just wanted to trade images and videos of children, to expand their illicit collections, Bolen was a “traveler,” someone looking to act upon his obsessions.

On Sept. 17, just as they’d arranged, Paulina sat on a bench outside Perimeter Mall with a stroller parked in front of her, scanning the parking lot nervously. Part of her hoped Bolen wouldn’t show. When he did, she could see he was handsome, a preppy guy in a pink polo shirt and khakis. “Paulina?” he asked eagerly. She nodded. As he smiled and pulled back the blanket draped across the stroller, he found himself surrounded, handcuffs slipped around his wrists.

“Paulina” watched his face fall, his confusion giving way to distress as FBI agents took him into custody. It was her first undercover arrest. It would be the first of many.

[long read]

IF ONE WANTED to hide in plain sight, one could do no better than the tidy, suburban neighborhood on the outskirts of St. Louis, where FBI Special Agent Nikki Badolato now resides. The well-tended, two-story homes are so pleasantly indistinct that I could hardly tell you what hers looks like, even if it were safe for me to do so, which it is not. Suffice to say that Midwestern comfort and conformity unspool around every gently winding curve. Here Badolato has raised her two children, a daughter who is now in college and a son who is a junior at a local high school. When planning a neighborhood scavenger hunt or tending the community garden, Badolato does not often mention her many years as head of the Child Exploitation Task Force, a joint effort between the feds and local law enforcement that targets some of the country’s most heinous crimes. Open a cabinet in her kitchen, however, and a government-issued Glock 42 can be found stowed away between the vitamins and mixing bowls.

On a sunny morning this past October, Badolato sat at her dining room table, scrapbooks and albums spread out before her on the dark wood. There was the acceptance letter she’d received from the bureau the spring of her senior year of high school, after a representative had shown up to administer a test in the typewriting room. “I chose to wear a red dress and red heels,” she says of her first day as an FBI mail clerk, two weeks after her 18th birthday. “I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I guess maybe I was trying to go in bold?” She pauses at a picture of herself on the gun range at Quantico almost 10 years later, her shoulders squared and her caramel hair pulled back into a ponytail as she fires off rounds. By then, she’d married a man she met just after high school, had a little girl, completed college at night, and been accepted into agent training in the heady days after 9/11. She’d seen her first dead body only a few weeks into the job, after the pursuit of a bank robber ended with a shootout in a Walmart. When Badolato got to the scene, the body was still warm, and the perp’s head was resting on a bag of cookies. “It was surreal,” she says. “How many times have you been in a Walmart and walked down Aisle 4, not really expecting there to be a dead person with his head lying on a bag of Chips Ahoy?”

Badolato wasn’t deterred. She felt like the bureau saved her, plucked her out of a shitty home life, and gave her prospects and purpose. As a new agent, she was intent on proving herself worthy. “My training agent told me, ‘You know, Nikki, it’s a marathon, not a sprint,’ ” she says. “I was like, ‘That’s ridiculous. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.’ ” She turned a few pages to show a picture of the 391 kilos of cocaine and 140 pounds of meth she’d recovered on a single raid during a stint with a cartel squad, then pointed out another in which she poses with a five-year-old child she’d rescued, the little girl’s hair cut short because the kidnapper had wanted her to look like a boy. But the keepsake she really wants to find is the card that Bolen’s wife had pressed into her hand at his sentencing, the one with the picture of their children — a blond girl of about three years and a tiny baby — and the words “These are the faces of the children you protect each day.” Bolen’s wife had been the only one she’d ever encountered who had lobbied for her husband to receive the maximum sentence. Some wives accused the FBI of planting evidence inside computers. Most seemed intent on clinging to their delusions. (Attempts to reach Bolen for comment were unsuccessful.)

“Right now some little girl is being dropped off in the parking lot of a motel. There are four girls holed up in a hotel next to a McDonald’s. It is happening all the time.”

Which, Badolato has come to understand, is the way it goes with child trafficking and sexual abuse. She had invited me into her home — had agreed to speak on the record about her decades-long career working undercover — because when it comes to the crimes she’s spent her career fighting, she has had enough of the delusions people are under. She’s had enough of the way movies like Sound of Freedom both glamorize and trivialize the work she and her colleagues do, enough of the idea that swashbuckling white men burst through doors and rescue trafficked children with a Bible in one hand and a firearm in the other, enough of conspiracy theories about Hollywood and Washington that detract from the real root causes of why children are trafficked and abused. “Human trafficking is not the movie Pretty Woman — the girl doesn’t get the guy — and it’s not the movie Taken, where people are kidnapped in a foreign country and sold on the black market, or shipped in a container across the world,” one of the detectives who worked on Badolato’s task force tells me. “I’m not saying that doesn’t ever happen, but it’s not what we’re seeing.”

What they are seeing is a lot more insidious and a lot more homegrown. A report released in 2018 by the State Department ranked the U.S. as one of the worst countries in the world for human trafficking. While the Department of Justice has estimated that between 14,500 and 17,500 foreign nationals are trafficked into this country every year, this number pales in comparison to the number of American minors who are trafficked within it: A 2009 Department of Health and Human Services review of human trafficking into and within the United States found that roughly 199,000 American minors are sexually exploited each year, and that between 244,000 and 325,000 American youths are considered to be at risk of being trafficked specifically in the sex industry. Heartbreakingly, many of these children are victimized not by strangers who’ve abducted them from mall parking lots but rather by people they know and trust: Studies have found that as much as 44 percent of victims are trafficked by family members, most often parents (and not infrequently parents who were trafficked themselves). Between 2011 and 2020, there was an 84 percent increase in the number of people prosecuted for a federal human-trafficking offense. Of the defendants charged in 2020, 92 percent were male, 63 percent were white, 66 percent had no prior convictions, and 95 percent were U.S. citizens.

Badolato started her career as an FBI agent in some of the earliest days that children could be bought, sold, and traded online. As the internet-porn industry mushroomed, its most lucrative branch turned out to be that of child sexual-abuse materials (the term “child pornography” is no longer used by those in the field, as it implies consent). And as demand for these images increased, so did the abuse that led to their creation.

In 2003, just a few months after Badolato graduated from Quantico, a Crimes Against Children squad was formed in the Atlanta office where she’d been stationed. By then, the FBI was starting to get a handle on the extent of the problem — if not exactly what to do about it. At a weeklong training in Baltimore, Badolato was given a tour of the darkest underbelly of fetish chat groups and then instructed to figure out how to infiltrate. “Everyone was a little nervous,” she explains of the directive. “It was a process, a direction that was new.” Agents were told that they would need to come up with a “persona” and a “story,” and that they would likely have to provide images of children to “prove” they had a minor on offer. They were also told that they could use images of their own children, if they were comfortable doing so (the FBI no longer endorses this policy).

Badolato’s unit with a kidnapping victim after her recovery in 2011. A Health and Human Services review found that roughly 199,000 American minors are sexually exploited each year, and that as many as 325,000 American youths are considered to be at risk of being trafficked in the sex industry. 

Badolato developed “Paulina” based on her understanding that any persona would need to share most of her own backstory and traits. “That’s the only way you can really do undercover work,” Badolato says. “People can tell the sincerity in what you’re saying, so there has to be a level of genuineness, but then you just add this criminal element to it.” Most of the things Badolato had told Bolen were true: where she was from, her family background, the monstrousness of her mother, a woman who she says would pass out cigarettes and beers to Badolato’s 13-year-old friends in a state of manic permissiveness one minute and fly into a violent rage about a piece of lint on the floor the next. (Badolato’s mother declined to comment for this article, but a childhood friend corroborated Badolato’s account.) It was true that growing up in an unstable home with a string of stepdads, she had never really felt loved, true that she had divorced her first husband, true that she was raising their three-year-old daughter on her own. The only thing that wasn’t true was her tale of being molested, her initiation into the “lifestyle” — to use the chatroom parlance — that Paulina said she now wanted for her daughter. As Badolato had familiarized herself with the language and behaviors of the chatrooms, she’d honed that added criminal element, imagining what psychological conditions might believably lead a parent to traffic their own child and how those conditions could be grafted onto her real life story. She already had a history of abuse; it was not hard to extrapolate to a fictional stepfather who had seemed to provide a gentle counterpoint, showing her love and making her feel special when no one else had, even if others couldn’t understand. From there, it was easy to convince the chatroom participants that she shared their belief — or justification — that most people had it all wrong and that “child love” was natural, and could even be beneficial for the child.

Badolato estimates that she has arrested more than a thousand people; not one of those arrests has failed to end in a conviction. She didn’t know until she was in the thick of it that most agents refuse this sort of work, that most can’t even pretend to forge a relationship with someone looking to victimize a child. But she could. “Paulina,” she points out, is not a name she chose at random; it’s similar to her own mother’s name. Badolato says she had grown up learning to compartmentalize for the sake of her own emotional survival. She’d perfected the art of engaging with someone whose actions she couldn’t stand. Doing this work had felt like a way of taking her trauma and putting it to good use, of leveraging her past as a safeguard against her daughter’s and other children’s futures.

Of course there were moments that were hard to take — when suspects mentioned which brands of lubrication were best or whether or not a parent might hold a child down. There were times when she knew that even talking about these things was a turn-on for these men, times when the conversations made her nauseous, times when she’d lie awake all night or play back a recording and think, “Holy shit, I listened to this? I said these words?” But she kept faith in the mission. She reminded herself that the pictures she sent of her daughter — the beautiful, little girl sleeping in the next room — did not represent a real child on offer. “I was thinking, ‘If I send this obscure picture of my daughter and he acts on it, then he’s never going to harm my daughter or anybody else’s,’ ” Badolato says now. “I was presenting a fake girl to save a real one.”

KYLE PARKS SEEMED to think he could get away with anything. He seemed to think, for instance, that he could get away with running a brothel, a 1-900 sex line, and a housecleaning company out of the same Columbus, Ohio, office park and under the same oxy-moronic name, XXXREC and Hygiene Services. He seemed to think he could invite one young woman and five teenagers (four of whom he had only just met) on a road trip to Florida, but instead deposit them in two rooms of a Red Roof Inn in St. Charles, Missouri. When they piled out of the minivan — high on the drugs he’d given them — saw snow falling and asked to be taken home, he thought he could make a little money off them first. All it took was a few ads in Backpage — the Craigslist of sex advertisements — and men began showing up.

Even after things started going south for him, Parks couldn’t fathom that he wouldn’t prevail. When someone alerted law enforcement as to what was going on, Parks (who, according to legal documents, had been out getting food when the police showed up) burst into the precinct the next morning looking to bail his “friend” out. When questioned about the 88 condoms found in the back of his van, he said they had been prescribed to him by a doctor. After being taken into custody, he protested that he was being set up. Most people would have cut their losses and pleaded guilty, but not Parks. He thought he could take his case to court and win.

And it wasn’t impossible to imagine that he might. Badolato knew that even the tightest cases could go sideways when put before 12 people who would inevitably enter the courtroom with a cinematic sense of what sex trafficking was supposed to be. In fact, it wasn’t just the jury that Badolato knew she would need to convince; it was also often the victims themselves, young people who had internalized the exact same misconceptions about trafficking that the jury had — along with any number of other judgments society had thrown their way — and who were loath to submit themselves to a courtroom full of more judgment.

Of all of Parks’ underage victims, the hardest to pin down had been a 17-year-old we’ll call Sierra. Once she returned to Columbus, Sierra seemed to basically disappear. Calls to her mother’s number went unanswered. When one of the other victims managed to track her down in December 2016, a month before the case was to go to trial, Sierra agreed to meet Badolato on a blighted Columbus block with a string of dilapidated homes, climbing into the bureau’s Chevy Malibu with matted hair, dirty clothes, and a wary expression.

By this time, Badolato had remarried, had a second child, relocated to St. Louis, and taken over as head of the Child Exploitation Joint Task Force, which had become one of the most productive FBI teams in the country in terms of arrests and convictions. Meanwhile, as the internet streamlined the process of buying or selling any good or service, trafficking had become one of the fastest-growing criminal enterprises, estimated by the Department of Homeland Security to bring in $150 billion globally and considered by many criminals to be a superior business model: If caught, the sentences were often lighter than those for peddling drugs; and unlike crack or heroin, the same product could be “used” again and again and again.

Badolato taught her team of 20 how to do the online undercover work she’d trailblazed in Atlanta, tracking the movements of child-abuse material through the online underworld and then prosecuting those who distributed and produced it. Her new squad also initiated her in the type of undercover work it had been doing before her arrival: covert sting operations in which a detective would pose as a john, set up a “date,” and then meet said date in a hotel room fitted out with hidden recording devices while, in the next room over, a taskforce team listened in, waiting for the code word that would let them know that enough evidence had been gathered for them to swoop in and shut the op down. This had proved a very effective technique for getting convictions, but Badolato’s arrival coincided with both a growing sentiment that consensual sex work had been over-criminalized and an increasing awareness that what looked like consensual sex work might actually be trafficking, no matter what the “date” professed in that hotel room.

Badolato has a tendency to say aloud the things she notices — about you, about others, about situations — observations that are not at all unkind but are perceptive enough that most people would keep them to themselves. She points out when someone deflects, and she has a sharp eye for defense mechanisms. She once casually mentions my tendency to mirror other people’s vocal and speech patterns. She is not shy about bringing up the emotional and physical abuse she says she experienced as a child, and she is quick to comment when someone is making excuses for someone else’s behavior. It was soon clear to her colleagues that Badolato brought a trauma-informed mentality to the work, a tendency to look beyond what someone was doing and instead try to parse why they were doing it. And she was relentless: While some squads did one or two trafficking sting ops a year, her team was doing four or five a month. In addition to the hotel rooms reserved for the john and the team, they would have a social worker set up in a third room, ready to offer services to the victims. They would have lookouts stationed to see who might be dropping the date off. If that date was found to be underage, the case was automatically classified as trafficking. But even if they weren’t, Badolato’s team was primed to get to the bottom of what was going on, to figure out whether they were being manipulated or coerced, and by whom.

“If I could put my hands on a pimp, that’s what I wanted,” says Jeff Roediger, a St. Louis county detective who was the “john” for many of Badolato’s sting ops and who makes clear that the team was not interested in policing voluntary sex work. “When I had those types of cases, and I knew they were being sincere with me, I wouldn’t book them,” he says. “It was all about talking to the girls. It’s not like in the movies where they come running to you. You know, ‘Thanks, you rescued me!’ It’s not like that. A lot of them try to bullshit you at first — ‘That’s my boyfriend, blah blah blah’— but once I talked to them for a while, they would become more forthcoming.”

Badolato’s unit was one of the first in the country to take on this “progressive and proactive” approach, as she puts it. Soon, St. Louis looked like a sex-trafficking capital — not because it was actually trafficking more victims than other cities but because the task force was so aggressively pursuing those cases, and classifying them as what they were. “I mean, I was working in vice for years,” says Roediger. “Back in the day, it was always ‘prostitution,’ ‘prostitution,’ ‘prostitution’ — until we started to figure it out a little bit, until we started digging a little deeper.”

Once they did, the task force found that roughly a third of the sex-trafficking victims they recovered were under the age of 17 — and they began to see the reach of the problem. Kids were being trafficked out of every hotel in the area, from the seediest roach motel to the fanciest Ritz-Carlton. They were being trafficked every time of day and by every socioeconomic group (“Before you go do brain surgery, you got to bust a nut real quick,” one underage victim told Badolato of her high-end clientele). Some of the victims were girls. Some were boys. Some were LGBTQ kids who’d been kicked out of their homes. Some were straight cis kids from the suburbs. “I tell people that I could probably name two or three [kids] in the school district they live in that have been trafficked,” Roediger says. “And they just can’t comprehend it.”

“If I can be perfectly honest, I truly don’t believe that the FBI realizes what they put their agents through doing that kind of work.”

There were kids who were about to age out of foster care (a particularly at-risk group, according to those who work in the field), kids who’d run away, kids who were being sold to pay their family’s rent, or to buy their family member’s drugs. There were kids who’d sit in the hotel room, backpack at their feet, dutifully working on their math homework while agents and social workers tried to figure out what to do with them. Was their home life safe enough that they could be returned to it? Would a residential program take them? Of all the imperfect options, which would make them least likely to be trafficked again?

The one common denominator was this: They all had a vulnerability that could be preyed upon. They all lacked a safety net — societal, familial, emotional, or some combination thereof — that might have broken their fall. Mostly, their stories weren’t dramatic; they were typical American tales of neglect, of abuse doled out casually, of a steady stream of letdowns by people and institutions who should have propped them up. Badolato found that she had a knack for getting them to talk about this, for getting them to open up to her. She didn’t look like an FBI agent — at least not what they’d imagined. She spoke softly, but with authority and a slight vocal fry. And she thinks that, at some level, they could probably sense that she’d once been a vulnerable kid too, that with only a few slightly different twists of fate, she could have become a trafficking victim herself — and that she knew it. “My trauma looks different than theirs, but it’s trauma nonetheless,” she says.

“And I think victims can feel that.”

AS THE TASK force learned more about the psychology of victims, they also learned more about the ways in which their vulnerability was being manipulated, and how those ways were evolving. It was known in law-enforcement circles that once a skilled trafficker set his or her sights on a vulnerable young person, they could be groomed in a matter of days: one day for an introduction, a day or two to make the victim feel special and cared for, and then the day when a “friend” comes over and he needs to be “cared for” as well. Sometimes violence was involved at that point; sometimes drug use was involved throughout. But emotional manipulation was the key element, which is why it was so easy for grooming to move online, for groomers to take advantage of the false senses of connection fostered on social media.

Of the victims who are not being trafficked by family members, the majority are being groomed in this way. “I would say that probably 75 percent of the initial grooming is happening online now,” says Cindy Malott, the director of U.S. Safe Programs at Crisis Aid International. “Recruiters used to have to work really, really hard to get access to kids, but now they’re practically sitting in a child’s bedroom. And kids put everything out there — what’s going on in their life, who they’re angry about, parents are going through a divorce, their insecurities about their body, about themselves, what they do, how they spend their time — so it’s like a gift to these predators.”

The ways to manipulate are legion: Get a kid to send a compromising photo, and she’ll do almost anything to keep you from sending it out to all her Facebook friends; find out a gay kid is still closeted, and the threat of outing him gives you incredible power. And predators aren’t just on Instagram and Snapchat; they lurk in the chat functions of Roblox, Minecraft, Grand Theft Auto. “They’re everywhere,” says Malott. “People think, ‘Oh, I just got to keep my kids away from those porn sites, those horrible places.’ Well, no, predators are gonna go where the kids are.” And once there, they’re going to zero in on the kids who are most vulnerable.

That’s what got to Badolato. In her online undercover work, she’d plumbed the psychology of pedophiles, but now she wasn’t just dealing with suspects; she was spending time with victims and seeing the same vulnerabilities in them that the traffickers had seen: the instability or poverty, the addiction or mental health issues or abuse that had been normalized in their lives long before the traffickers entered them. Sometimes Badolato couldn’t help but feel that all the conspiracies and misconceptions weren’t just a distraction from the truth of trafficking but rather some sick attempt to let society off the hook for trying to solve the much more intractable problems at trafficking’s root.

“People would rather stick their head in the sand than address the real problem, because then you have to face and talk about the societal issues,” she says. “With a movie like Sound of Freedom, it’s like, ‘Oh, this is in a jungle in South America. This isn’t actually in [my neighborhood].’ You know? It’s easier for people to ignore the problem than deal with the issues on a societal level.”

BY THE TIME Badolato was sitting in that Chevy with Sierra, on that blighted Ohio block, she knew that the rate of revictimization for children who are trafficked was as high as 95 percent, according to FBI reports. She knew that 90 percent of sex-trafficking victims have a history of child sexual abuse, that more than 75 percent had lived in foster or adoptive care. She knew that she could arrest one perpetrator, and another would pop up in his place, that she could send one pimp to prison and the same victims would show up to stings some short time later, run by a different crew. She knew that testifying was a way for Sierra to psychologically push back against what had happened to her, and she was right: After the young woman took the stand on Jan. 10, 2017, Parks was found guilty and sentenced to 25 years; while testifying, Sierra had seemed to transform, to channel and embody a sort of empowerment. But Badolato also knew that once her testimony was over, Sierra would go back to that blighted block. She wondered how long that empowerment would last.

She also wondered about her own trajectory, her own ability to continue doing this work. The youngest trafficking victim she’d ever recovered from a sting op — an 11-year-old who’d been recruited through Facebook — had been returned to her family in a house that had no heat (Badolato had used an FBI slush fund to get it turned back on). One did not become immune to the human misery of such things. They compounded, became harder and harder to compartmentalize. “It’s just a combination of all of those years — and it’s all awful,” she says. “But there are particular moments that, for one reason or another, you can’t get out of your head. I just don’t think it’s in human nature to be exposed to that for so long and it not start changing who you are.”

One night, at a restaurant near where Badolato lives, I ask her whether she thinks children are being sex-trafficked right then, in that very moment, in just the mile or two radius around us. She’s quiet for a long time, her gaze fixed downward at her glass of wine. By the time she looks up, her whole body is trembling. “It’s happening right now,” she says quietly. “Right now some little girl is being dropped off in the parking lot of a motel. There are three or four girls holed up in a hotel next to a McDonald’s. It’s not only when we think about it. It is happening all the time. And if I’m just sitting here, present, having dinner, not thinking about it, that means I’m ignoring a problem that I know is real.” Tears stream down her face.

“Many images have never left my mind,” she says. “It’s really hard to have worked your entire life in law enforcement with a lot of child crime victims and be at the end of your career looking at the situation where you realize you can only do so much to make a difference.” Badolato wipes back the tears with the palm of her hand and shudders her head, as if she can shake the thoughts away. “Damn,” she says. “Fuck. I shouldn’t be the one crying. I’m not the victim of this.” The veteran agent steels herself and repeats, “I am not the victim.”

THE HOUSE WHERE Korina Ellison says she was first sex-trafficked no longer exists. It once stood on an unassuming lot in a residential suburb of Portland, Oregon, that stumbles down to the banks of the Willamette River. Now, Ellison can’t quite bring the house’s features to mind. She was so young back then, maybe four or five. There is so much she’s repressed, or only pieced together after the fact. As a child, she wouldn’t have known what she now believes to be true: that her grandmother scored her drugs by offering up her youngest daughter, Ellison’s mom. Or that, once her mom was hooked on the meth cooked by the man who’d lived in that house, she’d known just what to do to get more. But Ellison does remember being inside the house, unclothed. She does remember how the man would touch her.

Her life unspooled from there. Her father died of a heroin overdose when she was six. Her mom lost custody for good. She bounced around foster care, then various residential institutions, then whatever shelter she could find. In the story she tells of how she was sex-trafficked again in her teenage years, there’s no moment of drama, no kidnapping, no clear coercion. There was just a random, rainy afternoon when she had no place to go and was alone in the street and a car pulled up. The man inside took her home with him, fed her, introduced her to his girlfriend. They took her shopping. They let her stay. When men showed up at the home to have sex with the woman, Ellison was invited to watch, but she wasn’t expected to participate — not at first, anyway. According to a statement Ellison later made to law enforcement, she just “realized that people aren’t going to take care of [me] for free.” Soon, the woman was posting Ellison’s services on Backpage — $150 for half an hour, $200 for a full one — and the trio were traveling the Midwest. For a long time, it didn’t even occur to Ellison, then 16, to leave. “Where would I have gone?” she asks. “I’d been missing for over a year. Nobody was looking for me.” When the man told her to call him “Daddy,” she complied.

That was more than a decade ago, near the beginning of Badolato’s tenure as head of the Child Exploitation Task Force. But by 2021, leaving it had seemed a necessary form of self-preservation. One of her last cases had gone well legally: The perp, a retired police officer from California who had produced child sex-abuse materials of three sisters in Manila, had pleaded guilty to such charges when he learned that Badolato had brought the girls to the states to testify against him. But the experience had been emotionally devastating for Badolato, who had wanted the sisters, then 16, 13, and 11, to have memories of the U.S that consisted of more than reliving their trauma in a courtroom. She took them shopping and to the zoo, invited them to her home to have dinner with her own family, saw them slowly start to open up and laugh and behave like the children they were. Then she’d had to put them on a flight back to Manila, back to the aunt who had allowed the man to abuse them and who Badolato had been unable to extradite. Fortunately, she says, their estranged father ended up intervening and taking custody of the girls, but that feeling of futility in the fight lingered.

“I stayed for a little bit longer after that trial, but it really was when I should have been able to look myself in the mirror and say, ‘Nikki, you’re done,’ ” Badolato had told me in St. Louis. “It became clear that I had been doing it too long.” She’d spend the last couple of years working national security, a position without the immediacy of child-exploitation work, but also without the heartache. “If I can be perfectly honest, I truly don’t believe that the FBI realizes what they put their agents through doing that kind of work. I just don’t,” she says.

And yet, here Badolato was in Portland, leading Ellison, now 30, up to her hotel room, telling her about all the announcements she’d heard in the Atlanta airport instructing travelers to be on the lookout for sex trafficking. “It’s like white noise in the background,” she says as Ellison settles into the sofa. “It’s a false sense of doing something to help.”

“Here’s the thing: Nobody knows what to look for,” Ellison agrees.

“And what about the victims who are in that airport, who are walking around and listening?” Badolato asks.

“I wouldn’t have even heard that announcement,” Ellison replies. “Because I didn’t feel like a victim. It goes a lot, lot, lot deeper than anybody realizes.”

That’s what she and Badolato both understand. That’s why they started talking eight months ago. Of all the teenage victims Badolato’s task force recovered, Ellison is one of the few who she knows has permanently extricated herself from being prostituted, though it took years for her to get to that point, years for her to see that what happened to her was not her fault but rather a fault in the system, a fault in many systems over the course of generations. Neither she nor Badolato can fix that.

Yet they can’t help feeling like there’s something they can fix — or at least try to. Under the umbrella of an organization she’s founded called Innocent Warriors, Badolato created a program for schools, instructing educators on the signs that might indicate a student is being trafficked and teaching kids how to avoid getting groomed online, which, she believes, is not about stranger danger but rather an awareness of subtle manipulation. Ellison has been working with trafficked youth through nonprofits like Children of the Night, the residential program where Badolato’s team sent her when she was 17. Together, they’ve been talking about having Ellison help train undercovers who are learning to do trafficking sting ops. They’ve also discussed starting a mentorship program in which children who are still being sex-trafficked are paired with young adults like Ellison who once were, providing a way for victims to begin to envision a different future for themselves and a path toward it even while being prostituted. Such a program may be retroactive rather than proactive, but it would capitalize on Badolato’s and Ellison’s experience and expertise — and it could help in the healing of mentors and mentees alike.

Badolato had traveled to Portland for the two to talk face-to-face about how the program might work. “You have to understand how they’ve been traumatized because sometimes, to a child, relating doesn’t sound like you’re relating. It sounds like you’re pointing out all the bad things in them,” says Ellison from the driver’s seat of her Nissan Pathfinder as she drives Badolato around to show her certain landmarks of her past after she’d left Children of the Night: the bridge she’d slept under for over a year after a boyfriend had gotten her hooked on heroin, the blocks downtown where she’d bounced between a children’s shelter and the needle exchange. It had taken a prison sentence for her to finally break her addiction and commit to a different kind of life, though that evolution had had less to do with not having access to drugs than with seeing her own mother cycle in and out of the same facility — like looking into her own future and witnessing how bleak it would be. Maybe, she thought, she could provide the inverse of that for kids in Innocent Warriors. Maybe she could reverse engineer her own escape.

“I just want to make it very clear that if you were a victim, you are a victim, and just to not have any shame in that,” she tells Badolato as they drive through Portland’s misty streets.

“What I anticipate and hope is that then we get survivors that are like, ‘They get it,’ ” Badolato replies. “And that it opens up doors to help, for people to recognize that there are people who get what’s really going on.”

“It took a really long time for me,” Ellison says of coming to terms with her own victimhood.

“It’s like reworking your thought process about some of those things,” Badolato agrees. “And that’s hard, and it happens slowly over time, and it looks different for everybody.”

Ellison grips the wheel tightly. “The truth does matter. It does. The truth is the fucking truth. And it’s been empowering to be able to talk about it because that’s another way that I’ve realized, like, ‘Man, I was a victim,’ is re-going over all of this. Because when it happens so many times, you do blame yourself. It’s a lot easier to just continue to live in a lie than believe that you were lied to.”

Still, Ellison and Badolato agree that the impressionability that makes children vulnerable is also what makes them open to guidance and mentorship if a relationship of trust can be established. “What do you think a parent does? They groom you. I’d been waiting to be guided and groomed,” Ellison says.

It’s been instructive to see that potential from another perspective, as a mother doing the guiding. As the afternoon wears on, Ellison stops to pick up her then-15-month-old son, who was being watched by a social-worker friend. She buckles the little boy into his car seat, ruffles his hair, and passes him a bottle. He grins widely and begins removing his shoes and socks, throwing them gleefully onto the floor of the car and then kicking his tiny feet in time with the music as Ellison glances back at him and smiles. “Kids are so perfect,” she says.

The last stop of the day is the large plot of land where the drug dealer’s house once stood. Now, it’s been turned into a playground, with brightly-colored jungle gyms, a covered picnic area, and a large lawn, where a couple leisurely walks their dog. Ellison and Badolato climb down from the car and stand at the park’s edge, as Ellison’s son toddles around the grass, oblivious to what had transpired in that very spot. There is some form of poetic justice in the land being earmarked for children’s enjoyment, but neither woman voices it. Mostly, they’re quiet. Night is falling, the air growing cooler, and the gray sky fading into dusk.

“You would never think a park could hide what it used to be,” Ellison says at last. And yet it did. Driving off with Badolato at her side and her son babbling happily in the back seat, Ellison glances in the rear-view mirror, but only for a moment. Badolato keeps her eyes fixed only on the road ahead.

[matd0]

Hello guys

I had to take a pretty lengthy break from pretty much all social media, super sorry for just disappearing like that.

bunch of stuff happened, I moved back to my parents’ house, tried to focus on school, got kicked out of school lol, went through a pretty rough patch over all :´D

I’ve been trying to work on just pretty much getting my basic needs met every day (eat enough, sleep enough, drink enough water, shower, etc.) and even though it’s a bit of a struggle i think I’m starting to feel pretty stable and happy again. yahoo :3 !!! so yeah i feel well enough to be perceived on the internet again 👍

Since i’m currently a jobless dropout, I should have time to post more stuff i think (this is genuinely something i love, and all I rlly want is to make stuff that makes others happy so thank you all for supporting my goofy and dubiously cringy creepypasta posting)

List of things and stuff I want to do/post/focus on:

- commissions. nbr. 1 priority (unfortunately i become a bit of a perfectionist when i get paid to draw something T_T)

-reply more to asks. It’s fun and I want to interact more with people (just need to beat up the anxiety demons)

-literally just draw more.

-maybe perhaps even post about the eyeless jack AU story thing i have been brewing in my mind…….. maybe.

-also i’m trying to do artfight again this year. bit dubious how much i’ll actually get done but oh well.

Anyway, thanks for reading lol.

here's a couple of little sketches for you o7

[dahfloofysmol]

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

[imdead770]

curtis sister!reader hcs?

(idk dude, with the gang or just with the curtis')

The Outsiders x Curtis Sister!Reader

Authors Note - I don't know exactly what you meant, so I'm just winging it. Enjoy! Ps: I did the whole gang, so some of these are platonic (because their you're siblings, duh) P.P.S: You're Sodas twin, it's just easier and you're in a better age range. Yeah.

Darry Curtis -

Since Darry is more laid back on Soda, I think he'd be laid back with you, too. Only difference is he's way more protective of you. Only thing is he has no idea what to do with you since you're female. He tries, though. Like if some guy broke your he'd beat their ass. Anytime a new partner comes he gives them the dad-style lecture. Pretty much the ideal big brother.

Sodapop Curtis -

Well you are twins, so it's only logical you're close. If I'm being honest people have probably thought you two were dating. Like you're both hot as hell. So everything someone asks you both are like 'Ew, we're literally siblings.' You two are basically joined at the hip. Not like matching outfits close, you two have different lives, but you and Soda tell each other everything. Since you both have middle child problems, it makes sense. Basically you 2 are besties.

Ponyboy Curtis -

Literally talks to you about everything. Girls? He comes to you. School? He comes to you. You're like the one big sibling he can open up to. Somethings he tells Soda, others he tells you. He finds comfort in you since you kind of remind him of mom. No one else sees it, but he does. You two argue, he's your little brother, it's only logical. Mostly about really stupid shit like he ate the last piece of chocolate cake pr something. But despite that you two are really close. Yahoo.

Dallas Winston-

Since he comes to the Curtis house a lot, he sees you a lot. And since your Sodapop's twin, you're hot as hell. You can see where this is going. The gang caught on whenever Dal would start inviting you to hang out with them. Or if you'd leave and he coincidentally had to go meet Buck at the same time. Anyways you're dating, he treats you as nice as Dallas Winston can. Darry hates it. Of all the nice boys you could've dated you picked the one most likely to break your heart. He's caught Dal sneaking in at least 5 times. Anyways Dal treats you pretty well, so eventually Darry treats him like he used to. It takes a while, though. A lot of glares.

Johnny Cade -

He met you whenever you wandered into the kitchen for something. The whole gang waved like you were a normal occurrence, so Johnny went with the crowd and waved back. He almost fell off the arm of the couch when you smiled and waved back at him. Honestly, your siblings were all for this. Johnny's the sweetest thing alive, he's your best option. Heck, Soda probably set you two up. Once you two started dating Darry didn't really care. It's Johnny, he had no reason to threaten him with a loaded shotgun. Johnny still gets nervous around Darry, though. Plus one time Pony walked in on you two kissing and it was awkward for them for like 4 weeks. Other then that it's like you aren't even a Curtis sibling.

Two-Bit Mathews -

He met you whenever you came out to hang out with the gang since you got bored of studying. He cracked some jokes like he usually does, but once he realized you thought he was funny, he made a scary amount of jokes, even for him. The gang noticed it, Darry was already like 'fuck no'. He's practically an alcoholic, you're too good for him. Somehow he pulled you, and Darry isn't as protective, but he still glares. Like if Two-Bit invites you to a party, somehow Darry pops out of thin air and glares. It's scary. But eventually it just becomes normally and everyone's okay with it. Anytime Two makes a dirty joke Darry silently threatens him with his life, though.

Steve Randle -

You came over to DX one time to ask Soda what he wanted for dinner. Instead you were met with Steve, who had no idea you were Soda's twin sister, and started hitting on you. Eventually Soda, you two talk, Steve connects the dots. He doesn't care though, he keeps flirting with you everything he sees you. Eventually you two start dating. Soda thinks it's weird, like his best friend is literally dating his female self. Steve didn't see it, though. Darry isn't too strict, I mean sure Steve's a dumbass but he doubts he'd hurt you. So no one really cares except Soda. He'll never see you or Steve the same.

[gravityfallsrenaissance]

On the first day of his last year of high school, Soos finds out that no one in Gravity Falls, Oregon is a foster parent.

He’s sitting in the hallway of the hospital with a police officer and social worker as they explain to him that even though he’s 17, he has no legal parent or guardian. It’s the day he find out his Dad terminated his parental rights.

They tell him that the nearest set of registered foster parents is about a 3 hour drive away, which doesn’t give him much time to pack.

While he’s packing up his things at the house, their landline starts ringing. Soos goes to answer it and is met with gruff spanish he doesn’t hear very often.

“Hola señora, ¿cómo está Soos? No lo he visto y sé que es su primer día de regreso a la escuela. Le dije que no había trabajo la primera semana, pero por lo general viene para al menos contarme cómo le fue y solo quería asegurarme de que estaba bien.”

Soos stands speechless for a moment. He’s unable to get the words out in Spanish.

“Hi Mr. Pines, um, I won’t be able to come into work anymore.”

“Soos? Kid, are you alright?”

“Abuela passed away this morning. It turns out there aren’t any foster parents in town, and the nearest couple is 3 hours away, so I’m glad you called because I wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to come back to work. The social worker is having me pick up my things right now, I don’t know if they’ll let us drive past the Shack so I can-“

“Soos, I need you to pass the phone to the social worker for me.”

He does, and before he realizes what’s happening, Soos is being packed into the car and driving down familiar roads. Mr. Pines must have convinced them that Soos wanted to say goodbye and when the arrive he’s shocked to see him sitting on the front porch in clothes that aren’t the Mr. Mystery costume or his weekend tank top and boxers. He’s dressed in slacks and a clean dress shirt with no embellishments. He looks like he shaved.

Soos leaves his bag in the car to say goodbye and is surprised when the social worker grabs it for him.

“Mr. Pines, thank you for offer of temporary guardianship as we sort out Jesus’s situation. It’ll be easier for him to stay close for the funeral and in making decisions about his grandmother’s estate.”

Mr. Pines has an expression Soos has never seen and can’t figure out. The man is always smiling or grumbling and now he’s just nodding and offering his hand to the social worker before turning to Soos.

“Hey, Soos. Why don’t you take your bag and go get set up? I cleaned out the room on the first floor for you, I’ll be right in.”

***

Soos had been in this part of the Shack many times over the years, usually to work on homework with Mr. Pines after work or to eat tamales that his Abuela had asked him to send along.

He finds the room Mr. Pines was talking about and sees that everything looks like it’s been hastily cleaned and stored away. The room itself looks the same with a bed, dresser, closet, rug, and desk all freshly, if haphazardly, wiped down.

He sets down his bag and sits on the bed, unsure if he should unpack. Unsure how long he’s staying.

An indeterminate amount of time later, he notices Mr. Pines standing in the doorway and must startle, because Mr. Pines raises his hands a little looking sheepish.

“Didn’t mean to startle you, kid. Sorry.”

He continues to stand a bit oddly in the doorway before sighing, grabbing the desk chair, and pulling it so that he’s facing Soos.

“Look, there are a couple of things you and I should talk about, and I know this is all going a bit fast, so once I let you know what’s going on I’ll try and slow it down a bit. Do you have any questions?”

“Er, how long am I staying here?”

“Well, see, we kind of need to figure that one out together. I got you placed in my custody temporarily since I told them I’m a friend of the family, and it’ll take a while to sort out the foster parent paper work-“

“But, Mr. Pines, I’m your handyman. I don’t-“

“Kid, if you think I’m letting them ship you off to some yahoos from God knows where before we’ve even had a chance to hold the funeral-“

And Soos swears he didn’t mean to, he’s almost 18 and he hasn’t cried in a long time, but it’s been a long day and it’s really setting in that Mr. Pines is taking him in and that Abuela is dead.

Mr. Pines is next to him quickly and Soos realizes this is the first time he’s been hugged by Mr. Pines that didn’t have some sort of odd excuse to avoid seeming awkward.

When Soos has cried himself out he breathes for a minute and lets himself enjoy the fact that Mr. Pines is hugging him and then pulls back to get a good look at him and wipe his eyes.

Soos’s tear tracks are on Mr. Pines’s shirt and his eyes look a little red, but otherwise he appears to be holding together better than Soos.

“You’re staying with me now, alright? I’ll help you sort out the funeral and moving your stuff over here, and talk to your school. You’re still a kid, and even if you weren’t, I’m not letting you do this by yourself. I’ll need your help though, since I haven’t met any of your other family and I don’t know who I should be trying to get in contact with and all. But we can sort that out tomorrow or the day after.”

“Am I going to school tomorrow?”

“Nah, kid. I’ll call you in until we can get everything figured out. Come on, I should figure out what we’re doing for dinner and then I’ll let you pick something on tv. Or I mean, we can talk if you need…”

Soos shakes his head a bit. He doesn’t know what he’d say. It feels wrong, sitting in this house and doing normal things that he’d otherwise be excited by. He’d always wanted Mr. Pines’s approval, but not at the cost of his Abuela.

And for everything to just keep going made his chest hurt. Mr. Pines was right, all of this felt like it was going too fast because none of it should be happening at all. He should have had years with his Abuela, he should have got to come home and tell her about his first day of senior year and talk her ear off about all the cool new exhibits he and Mr. Pines were putting together.

But that wouldn’t ever happen again.

Mr. Pines put his arm around Soos’s shoulders and led him out into the kitchen.

***

What cut through the misery and strangeness and wrongness of grieving his Abuela were the changes he saw in Mr. Pines.

He was… gentler.

Soos was used to the gruff and sometimes abrasive personality of his employer. Now foster parent. But he did not know the man who woke him up for school in the morning, made breakfast, packed lunch, and cooked dinner. Who called his extended family, helped him pack his Abuela’s house, helped him with homework, and stood next to him on a Tuesday in September as they said goodbye to his Abuela.

The real difference was how much he talked, and what he talked about.

He was just, more open.

If Soos cried, he was there. If he wanted to visit Abuela, Mr. Pines went with. If he needed help with homework, Mr. Pines sat with him until they figured it out.

He asked him about his videogames and anime and manga and anything else Soos was interested in. He offered to show him how to work on his car.

He didn’t really talk about himself much, but now, there were small scraps and interjections about things that Soos had never heard him mention. Observations about the desert, names of people he picked up Spanish from, boxing tips, how he read body language or tone for making a sale. Things that made him seem less like Mr. Mystery and more like Mr. Pines.

It felt like Soos was peaking behind a curtain.

Mr. Pines seemed to have dialed himself back, maybe. Soos wasn’t sure what to call it.

Even when he was fixing things up around the Shack for him there was less gruffness in his requests.

Soos loved it and felt an immense guilt about it.

He knew Mr. Pines was just being kind and that Soos was almost an adult and wouldn’t need this level of kindness since he’d be expected to.

Well.

Actually, he wasn’t sure what would be expected of him when he turned 18.

So one night at dinner, he asked Mr. Pines what would happen when he turned 18.

“You wanna go to college?”

“Not exactly but-“

“You want to keep working here?”

“Well yes but Mr. Pines I meant-“

“Soos, you’re welcome here for as long as you’d like to stay. This is my home and it’s yours as much as you’d like.”

“As much as I’d like?”

Mr. Pines shifted awkwardly in his chair and nodded.

“I didn’t want to assume anything but, the paperwork makes me your legal guardian. I’m responsible for you now, kid. So yeah, my home is yours. I don’t want you to feel like I’m keeping you from your family or anything but, even if I’m only fostering you, you’re part of mine.”

“You want me to be part of your family? For real?”

“Well yeah kid, I didn’t sign all those forms because you’re my employee. I mean you are kinda but like- Soos. Did you think I was only doing this because I wanted you to keep working at the Shack?”

Soos felt his face heat up and started to deny it but Mr. Pines cut him off pretty quick.

“Shit kid, okay look. I was trying not to presume how you feel about any of this. I didn’t want to put words in your mouth or um. Well, look. I was only married in Vegas briefly and I don’t really have my sights on going the whole conventional route of getting married and then, that’s to say, shit. Soos, I’ve always sort of thought of you as my son.”

Soos’s eyes were so wide. Mr. Pines’s face also seemed to heat up a bit and he tried shrugging, as though this wasn’t a big deal. As though it wasn’t something incredibly important to Soos.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, because I’m not really a great father figure and all, but look. When your Abuela was still around I could kid myself that it wasn’t something I wanted, being a parent and all. But now you’re living with me and I can’t help it. You’re a good kid, Soos. I’m not trying to replace anyone but, I guess, I want you to know that this is permanent. If you want it to be.”

Soos felt his eyes well up and Mr. Pines was on his feet, turning their chairs together so he could wrap an arm around him.

“I care about you, kid. I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, but it felt like something I should let you decide.”

Soos cried a little and laughed when Mr. Pines ruffled his hair before moving far enough apart to go back to eating, but not all the way across the table from him.

“So, if I wanted to stay here and keep working for you?”

“That’s more than enough for me, kid. I’d love for you to stay, if you want to.”

“And when I’m an adult, does that mean the foster thing-“

“I don’t really know what happens with that exactly. I mean, the social worker told me that I mean, if I wanted to and you agreed, I could file adoption paperwork since your um, well since your Father terminated his parental rights but uh, I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to bring that up.”

Soos felt his eyes tear up again and Mr. Pines gently cuffed him on the back of the head.

“Oh hush kid, c’mon no more tears. I swear no one else in our family is this weepy. It’ll ruin my reputation.”

“Our family?”

“Well yeah. Crap. I’ve uh, well I’ve got an older brother who’s got kids I should probably introduce you too. Surprise, you’ve got cousins!”

Soos laughed tearily and chanced another hug, which he definitely got.

And of course it hurt, his Abuela was gone and he missed her everyday. But it was nice not being alone.

Google translate spanish below the cut:

Hola señora, ¿cómo está Soos? No lo he visto y sé que es su primer día de regreso a la escuela. Le dije que no había trabajo la primera semana, pero por lo general viene para al menos contarme cómo le fue y solo quería asegurarme de que estaba bien.

Hello ma'am, how is Soos? I haven't seen him and I know it's his first day back in school. I told him there's no working the first week back but he usually stops by to at least tell me how it went and I just wanted to make sure he's okay.

[yuurei20]

Hey! Love your info compilations. I have a bit of a harder question(maybe?).

So, we know that in the overviews of the characters they all have student numbers. Are the student numbers chosen specifically or do they mean a specific thing?

I'm just a bit confused on how they're given their student numbers.

Sorry if this is a harder question to answer but it makes me curious. 😅

Hello hello!! Thank you so much, and thank you for this question! ^^

While I haven't been able to find this explained anywhere explicitly in official documentation, it is generally assumed in the fandom that the student numbers are alphabetical by last name!

To use Class 1-A as an example, Deuce is number 25 and Ace is number 26 because, in a class of 30-something students, Spade and Trappola would be towards the end of the alphabet and next to one another.

As Grim does not have a last name it seems that he has been assigned the number 9 for "G," so it might be safe to assume that there are eight other students with last names that range from A to F in class 1-A ^^

While I am not sure if this has been confirmed anywhere in the game, the second novel explains that the students are free to sit anywhere they wish in their classrooms, so the numbers do not correlate to seating assignments. By the second month of school everyone has pretty much decided where they wish to sit everyday, though, and Ace and Deuce do sit next to one another, in front of Yuuya:

"Yuuya takes his usual seat to the far side of the class. While seating is not assigned, places have generally become set by now, one month into the school year." - Twst the second novel

The "student numbers are decided by last names" theory is further supported by details like Kalim, Azul and Ruggie having earlier numbers (1 for Al-Asim, 3 for Ashengrotto and 2 for Bucchi), while Silver, Lilia and Sebek have later numbers (22 for Silver, 30 for Vanrouge and 33 for Zigvolt).

As for how it is decided what students will be assigned to what classes, it seems to have been done at random, according to the second novel:

"Night Raven College has five classes per grade, with dormitory assignments based on the nature of students' souls. Classes are arranged to ensure a roughly equal number of students from each of the seven dorms, but are otherwise randomly assigned." - Twst the second novel

Also, it seems this is not an uncommon topic! I came across discussions on twstsoku, Yahoo! Answers and more. My favorite was the person who asked, "Why did they decide to publish such a small detail?," who received the answer of, "There are fans who want to know everything about their favorite character, down to the length of their intestines."

[gemapples]

im so sorry it took me so long to answer these oml but YES i'd be happy to show how i draw and color :)

— SKETCHING

please note that i almost always sketch traditionally first lol it's just a lot easier for me to determine how the drawing is placed that way, but i always go over and re-sketch it digitally

for magolor i always start with a basic egg shape (lmao) and then i add his ears. then I draw the scarf; it's easy to determine the shape and dynamicism based on where the bottoms of the ears are located

then i usually add the cape and hood together. where and how these are placed and what these look like in general are very important because they're the main area that perspective is directed to (the ears and everything else is important too ofc!! but the hood and cape usually help demonstrate where he is looking and how he is moving the most). then i add everything else, usually his hands last!

— LINEART

ohhhhhh god my worst enemy. Hope youre sitting down because this will be embarrassing LMAO

lineart is easily what i struggle with most and is more often than not the most time consuming and grating step for me. If i had a choice i would drop it in a heartbeat, but my style is so dependent on thick lines and shapes that it's difficult to 😭 a hole i dug myself into unfortunately ITS FINE THOUGH. ANYWAYS I'm getting sidetracked

i use my finger to draw all my digital art, which means i usually have to use a Heavy stabilizer to avoid shakiness and staggered lines. Unfortunately ibis paint's stabilizer is actually dog water and doesn't even stabilize more than half the time (in which case i have to repeat lines over. And over. And over again until i get it right) but when it does like me and works properly it's very helpful!

i always use the soft school pen bleed brush as my main tool for lineart. This brush has been my best friend for everything, i even use it for sketching idk it just really like the way it looks lol. sometimes i change the aspect if i want the lines to look more ,, chalky?? or smoother depending on the work

i don't really use this tool much but for this specific piece, force fade was my partner in crime

also i think i need to mention that i use so many layers for this. So many layers lol like to the point it's embarrassing. and at the end i merge most of them (except for the gear patterns, rings on his ear, and eyes + hands, which usually need to be by themselves as they're colored separately) Thank you for layers

and i end up with this!

— COLORING && SHADING

yippee yahoo the fun part !!! the part that i love the most

at this point, if i havent already, i always create a folder for convenience in organization because this is the part that i stress the most about what details are on which layers lmao

then i add ANOTHER layer below that for the color, then i put every single color used on their own separate layer!

now, for shading, if im working on larger pieces with more complex shading, i'll usually plan it all out. normally when just drawing magolor, i don't really need to do this anymore because i'm so used to it lol, but for funsies i did it here anyways

then i use the bucket tool to fill them all in

i usually have a set color palette for all the characters i draw (though the way i shade white differs. A lot between my work as you can probably tell fhdfgf). For every color, i have two specific tones that are associated with the shading. for example, indigo + violet are shaded with my blue, pink + light orange (or lighter pink depending on my mood lol) are shaded with yellow, etc.

so, i shade the other areas with the 2nd shading color

a big tip i can give for coloring is to look at a color wheel when you draw. i know that sounds like. Such basic advice LMAO but that seriously was a huge help for me when developing my shading and something i learned while studying — if you notice, in all of the shading in my work, all of the colors used are analogous on the color wheel. note that not ALL combinations will work together like others obv !! but it's a huge step in knowing where to go with it

then i add other extra details like extra lighting, halftones (if i feel like it // if it fits the work), glow to his eyes, and color the lines and ta-da!

another tool i use a lot especially with my more recent art are blending modes, especially multiply. i use a clipping layer to add a dark color (usually a dark blue or purple) and set it to multiply, then erase the areas that emit light

and this is the end result! this is a very very basic demonstration of it fhdjg i was a pretty messy with the lighting and erasing in this example but you get the general idea right

and that's how i draw :) i hope this was helpful, and thanks for asking and being so patient with the response!

[azure-firecracker]

The X-Files Season 3 Review (First-Time Watcher)

Wahoo, we’re back! And just in time before I head off to school. I don’t know if it was the pre-college nerves or just the consistency of this season, but I blazed through this. It’s either the fastest I’ve ever binged a season of this length or close to it (barring times where I’ve been sick).

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure where the show was going to go following the high drama of season 2. I said in my Season 2 Review that the season resembled an alien soap opera, a tone I felt suited the show extremely well. But the events of Season 2 were so incredibly high-stakes that I wasn’t sure the show could keep up the high-drama tone. I mean, you can’t get much more high stakes than the Season 2 abduction arc.

As it turned out, the show’s solution was yet another tonal switch. While Season 1 (read my review of that here) felt like a riff on campy sci-fi stories, and Season 2 felt like a dark alien soap opera, Season 3 adopted the tone of a fast-paced film-noir action style movie. Our agents were in fights! They were running after villains! They were firing at bad guys!They were jumping onto trains! It was very high-stakes and exciting, but in an adrenaline-rush sort of way rather than mimicking the desperate, melancholic vibes of Season 2.

While my personal subjective tastes do tend more towards the high-drama vibe of Season 2, I think the action-movie energy suited the show (and the writers) well. The episodes in this season were consistently good at grabbing my attention and keeping it. Due to the fast pace and the constant reveal of new information, I felt like I was always running right alongside Mulder and Scully, racing to find new information and uncover each twist and turn. And if I were to describe this season in one word, it would be consistent. The show writers clearly perfected this fast-paced-film-noir vibe and found a comfortable rhythm creating it. This season had the longest unbroken stretch of fantastic episodes yet, and VERY few misses. More on that in the individual episode reviews.

I think this season’s new energy served Scully well as a character. I said in my Season 1 review that I was irritated with Mulder always taking the lead in investigations, and I felt like it was his mental journey that we were watching, since he was the believer and always right. While that wasn’t my main problem with Season 2, the Mulder-sole-protagonist feeling was still somewhat present. It makes sense: Mulder, as the more angsty and openly emotional of the two, is well-suited to being the main character of a cosmic drama. But Scully, with her sharp observation skills and calm demeanor under pressure, is well-suited to being the main character of a film-noir-action case. I was happy to see her taking the lead several times this season, both in solving cases, but also in becoming more assertive in going after information and figuring out a ton of clues. Her intelligence was showcased so well across so many episodes! I even felt like she got more camera time this season - a testament to the fact that she and Mulder are becoming equals in the eyes of the show. This was the first season where I 100% felt like they were equals (and the first season where Scully outnumbers Mulder in rescues! Yahoo!)

My whump-addicted heart did miss all the saving each other, but at the same time, I’m glad we got a break after Season 2. (A WHOLE SEASON WITHOUT SCULLY GETTING KIDNAPPED! I REJOICED!)

I don’t have many gripes about this season. It was just very consistently high-quality and consistent with itself, though I will say that its consistency made me more irritated with less stellar episodes than I would have been in Season 1 or Season 2. This is probably reflected in my episode ratings. I also think that, while it made sense to do a tonal shift, I could have used just a few more emotional moments in the vein of Season 2. While the stakes aren’t quite so dire this season, it’s still MSR and raw moments between them are part of what keep me coming back to the show. I could have used a little more of that.

My biggest complaint is that I felt like the mytharc episodes got a lot worse after Blessing Way/Paper Clip. I loved the Season 2 mytharc episodes because they directly tied into Mulder and Scully’s story, and the emotional stakes were just as high as the physical ones. Season 3 mytharc episodes had a little too much infodumping and not as much emotional weight as I would have liked. We got SO MANY scenes of Cancer Man or someone else from that group of old white men that I don’t care about talking on the phone and being ominous. A little bit is okay, but at a certain point, I ceased to care.

But overall I felt that this season was VERY strong and VERY binge-able (look no further on your next sick day!) Especially the middle-end of the season I felt was pretty damn near flawless.

Individual episode reviews under the cut:)

The Blessing Way/Paper Clip: A BANGER of a season opener. Easily the best opener the show has done so far. This is what I mean when I talk about balancing infodumping with emotional stakes. We learned so much about the government’s shady behavior and its history, but its ties to Mulder’s father and Scully’s abduction kept it emotionally relevant enough for me to stay invested. Mulder’s borderline-afterlife stint was giving hardcore protagonist energy in a bit of a clichéd way, but it’s okay because at least the Blessing Way ritual is real and they didn’t just make it up (I wouldn’t put it past them). Skinner came through this episode - I know he’s a bit morally ambiguous but I like him! And God, Melissa😭 This death hits so hard because it’s deeply unnecessary, and that’s what makes it so tragic. The scene at the end with Mulder and Scully in the hospital was absolutely beautiful. 10/10

D.P.O: This is what I mean when I say this season made me less forgiving of mediocrity than I would have been back in Season 1. This would have been a totally fine Season 1 episode, but here, especially coming off of Blessing Way/Paper Clip, it was just kind of meh. Not much to say about anything here (except Jack Black! Cool!) 4/10

Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose: Hooray another comedic episode! But also deeply emotionally poignant, and walking the line very well. Peter Boyle was a phenomenal guest star, bringing a mix of humor and genuine grief that was absolutely perfect. Also my comments about Scully being more of a leader this season? This is what I meant! She got so much camera time! She was the one bonding with their important magic person! She solved the case based off of A THREAD OF FABRIC LIKE SOME AGATHA CHRISTIE DETECTIVE! She shot the killer and saved Mulder! What an icon she is. Obviously 10/10

The List: I know this is a well-liked one, but for me, I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it. I watch this show for supernatural angst and escapism, not to watch prisoners get unfairly treated and beaten up in a way that feels a little too real. Plus Scully was acting lowkey OOC this episode. I just didn’t enjoy watching prisoners get horrifically beaten up, and even though I’m not supposed to enjoy it and the episode is making a point, what can I say? I didn’t enjoy it. Objectively this is probably an 8/10 but closer to a 5.5/10 for me subjectively.

2Shy: Another one where I have to admit my own biases. I did not appreciate the way this episode treated fat people, as a chubby girl myself who can get a tad insecure when watching shows from this era. The episode kept trying to pretend all of these not-even-that-fat women were ugly when they were not (not that being fatter is bad, but it just goes to show how insane 90s body standards were). It just…was not a good time for me, even though it’s objectively a decent monster of the week, I guess. I propose this alternate ending: the fat women being targeted all actually have fulfilling lives, do not need this creep for anything, they all band together and get to beat him to a pulp. Army of beautiful fat women saves the day. Anyway, objectively probably a 6/10, subjectively at more of a 2/10

The Walk: What happened in this episode? I think I fell asleep. But also it was yet again unnecessarily dark and realistic! This is a 2/10

Oubliette: I have mixed feelings on this one. I know what it was trying to do, but for the first time in terms of Mulder trauma episodes, I think it missed the mark a bit. Scully was acting weirdly mean for half of it, and I wish that they’d developed Mulder’s relationship with Lucy a little more. The ending scenes were fantastic, but would have been even more fantastic with the proper buildup. I’ll give this one a 7/10

Nisei/731: And so begins this season’s phenomenal streak! This was an excellent two-parter! While not as emotional as the opening episodes, it was a well-done, high-stakes, fast-paced action story with lots of twists and turns. I loved the ambiguity around what was aliens vs. the government, those super tense scenes between Scully and X (that’s what we call him, right?), Mulder jumping onto the train, Scully getting the exit code from the tape (another noir detective moment!), and of course, X getting Mulder out of that train, adding to the moral complexity of his character. I did feel that Nisei was mostly 731 setup and couldn’t stand as well on its own (a theme of this season), but I still adored this. 9.5/10

Revelations: An episode I don’t see brought up a lot, but I adored! I loved the role reversal of sorts between Scully and Mulder, the episode really allowing Scully to take center stage and be the hero, exploring her relationship with life and religion and her job and her science…all wonderful! Also her relationship with Kevin was so sweet, and her getting the answer off the recycling bin…once again, noir detective moment! And the ending confession scene? Poetry. This was a 10/10 for me!

War of the Coprophages: Comedyyyy! Lmao this was hysterical from start to finish. Some of the scientist scenes were a little boring, but every scene Scully was in was comedic gold. She’s so funny, and we don’t talk about it enough. Her at home is such a mood. Also some truly iconic lines. “Her name is Bambi?” *said with barely concealed jealousy* and of course the iconic “this is no place for an entomologist.” Hilarious. 9.75/10

Syzygy: Apparently this isn’t very well-liked, but I found Mulder and Scully’s bickering to be hilarious. Every duo fights sometimes! And I appreciated the withering humor of this whole episode. Also I liked that the villains were two teenage girls. Given the way they were talking about the other girls in their class…did they even need supernatural involvement to be pure evil? 9/10

Grotesque: I am immediately filled with a deep need for more Mulder profiling. I loved how much it brought out his darkest instincts, and how obsessive he can get about it! What an interesting and phenomenal character exploration! And I really didn’t know if he was possessed or something! Wonderful suspense! And some nice MSR moments, too! This one opens the door to SO MANY fanfic possibilities. Honestly 10/10

Piper Maru/Apocrypha: This is where those problems with the mytharc episodes that I mentioned began to show up. I loved Piper Maru, and thought it was an intriguing setup with lots of suspense, but the payoff in Apocrypha was less fulfilling. Possessed Krycek was such an interesting idea, but we barely got any of him, and the climax of them going to the empty silo was very weak in my opinion. We also got WAY too many old white men on the phone scenes to keep my interest. On the bright side, I loved everything Scully did in this two-parter. Her speech to Skinner at the beginning, her childhood nostalgia, standing guard over Skinner when he’s been shot, and then fully taking down and SCREAMING at Melissa’s killer. We NEVER hear her yell like that - major props to Gillian Anderson. Anyway this was a mixed bag. I’ll give it an 8/10

As I write this, I’m realizing that this is just Scully’s season, isn’t it? As it should be after what they did to her in Season 2.

Pusher: Favorite episode of the season (tied with one other, anyway). I love a Sherlock/Moriarty cat and mouse dynamic, and this pulled me in just like a good old murder mystery novel. Modell is a terrifying villain, his roots in normalcy just as horrifying as his power, and the way Mulder just walks right into his game because he can’t refuse, even though he knows the extent of the danger - DAMN good writing. Plus the way Scully follows Mulder into that hospital without a second thought-her loyalty knows no bounds, and Modell knows that and it makes everything so much worse. And the climactic scenes in the hospital are some of the series’ best (probably the show’s best climax so far). Of course this is a 10/10

Teso Dos Bichos: And so ends the longest streak of greatness. Oh well! This episode was pretty boring, apart from me yelling at the powers that be to please keep the composers away from what I have dubbed the ethnic flute (you know, that one instrument they play every time they’re dealing with a non-White culture). Killer cats is kind of funny I guess? And I do appreciate murdering colonizers. I guess I’ll give this a 4/10

Hell Money: Once again, please take that flute away from them. They need to stop trying to make political episodes about non-White cultures. They’re not good at it. At least they used a real Chinese festival (I looked it up!) and all of the episode’s side characters were actually engaging. I thought Detective Chao’s speech about being American-born and not fitting in with American or Chinese culture was actually pretty interesting and poignant. A small detail, but I also appreciated the use of the lesser-known Cantonese rather than Mandarin (at least according to the subtitles). I’ll give this one a 6.5-7/10 for effort.

Jose Chung’s From Outer Space: My mom said this was her favorite episode and I can see why! Some of the show’s absolute best comedic moments (all of Blaine’s narration, and of course the phenomenal pie scene-which I saw in a compilation and mentally inserted into S1 for months until I was corrected). I will say I got a little too tripped up in the unreliable narrations and alien plot to 100% appreciate the comedy, but I guess that’s kind of the point. 9.5/10

Avatar: I don’t know what the general consensus is on this one, but I really enjoyed it. I think that we’ve now spent enough time with Skinner that it was time for a look into his life - and what a compelling look it was! Characters who close themselves off seemingly for the greater good but end up damaging what matters most are so fascinating, and I liked the moral ambiguity of his guardian spirit thing. My favorite scenes were the ones in the hospital with Sharon - some DELICIOUS parallels to One Breath that had me screaming at the television. 8.5/10

Quagmire: Okay, this was hilarious and poignant and so quintessentially X-Files. But why did the dog have to die? I loved Mulder being sort of desperate for there to be a horrific monster so he could catch it. But why did the dog have to die? The conversation on the rock was amazing and has so many implications for Mulder and Scully both as individuals and as a pair. But why did the dog have to die? Scully winking at the sheriff to get resources was hysterical. But why did the dog have to die? 9.5/10, especially for the 1000/10 conversation on the rock. But why did the dog have to die?

Wetwired: My one complaint about this is that the emotional climax took place so long before the end, and I think the scenes with Mulder and X could have been in the next episode. But GOD, the rest of this?! The ACTING?! The PARANOIA?! The TRAGEDY?! Everything Gillian Anderson did in this episode was perfect. Mulder’s quiet but profound pain when he goes to ID the body, and the way he abandons his quest for her sake in a heartbeat even though he thinks she’s already dead. The scene where Scully tears her room apart, and my God, she’s got SO MUCH trauma for this paranoia thing to tap into, and holy shit Gillian Anderson. The emotional climax. “He’s never trusted me.” “Scully, you are the only one I trust.” And what if I died? Right there? Tied with Pusher for season favorite. 10/10

Talitha Cumi: As a precursor to Herrenvolk, this is fine. As a season finale, it’s weak. Not much happens, most of it is setup, and it doesn’t feel epic. Yes, Anasazi is impossible to follow as a season finale, but this feels the least like a finale of all 3 finales so far. I think Wetwired (with a few tweaks) should have been the finale, and this along with Herrenvolk should have been the Season 4 opener. As a 2-parter with Herrenvolk, maybe an 8/10. As a season finale, 6/10.

That’s it for the season review! Once I go off to school, I’ll be posting much less frequently but still around, so please feel free to send asks, fic requests, etc. Keep an eye out for more meta, fanfic, live reactions, a master post of all my content, and a special post to celebrate 3 seasons (vote on that here) in the coming days:) Until then, the Truth is out there👀

[pumpkinsy0]

I love how the fandom loves The Shepards more than Mrs. Hinton. She may have created them, but I'm sorry but it was us that made them unique. I just feel like she didn't go into detail with Curly or Tim (a little more with Curly) that she did with her last book or characters. She basically just slut shamed Angela the entire book. Tim was reduced to what was one a mysterious, tough actual gang leader to just someone Curly calls to beat someone up and poor Curly never stood a chance, he was once Ponyboy's mysterious "other friend" we never got to see in the first book and was reduced to just.....a meaner school yard bully.

I'm not bashing TWTTIN because I actually like the book but I'm just kinda....disappointed.

YAHOO!!1!1!1!1! ANON THINK PIECE IN MY INBOX YAHOOOOO

BUT UR SO REAL FOR THIS i like that everyone has their own rendition of the shepards

even though mines is literally so canon and so real and the most correct one out of them all🙄🙄 /j

i like that everyone just took the shepards and made them their own fleshed out characters, i think thats super cool, but she had the opportunity to gives us rlly interesting characters and she just kinda fucked up a lil??😭😭

im not saying the characters in twttin r one dimensional bc if u squint, especially w the shepards except like, minus tim, they rlly arent, but they dont feel rlly fleshed out either???

when it comes to angela shes the most characterized antagonist???? ig u could say, but it just feels like the part where ur supposed to sympathize w her in that car kinda falls flat in the book, maybe thats just me who felt like that, like all hcs and ideas of angela aside, only going by the book, i think it falls flat but maybe thats just me, not saying i HATE it, but i wish there was more to that in someway if that makes sense

my personal issue w twttin is that it felt like we were being TOLD the story and not actually being showed it, so i felt a lil disconnect w everything and couldnt build a connection w like most of the characters, se hinton said she pretty much forced herself to write the book and i say this so nicely but to me it felt like it showed, i have other problems w the book but idk rant for another time ig

im glad u at least liked it tho!!!! i just wish the characterization in general was done better

[the-s1lly-corner]

Which of the creepypastas would be okay with an asexual s/o?

Creepypastas w/ an ace!reader!

yahoo!! sorry for taking so long to get to this!! i kinda had a small lil slump for a few days but im back!! sorry for any typos or if these seem... bllluguuguh!!! im still trying to get through that lil slump so my brains still a lil... boo!!! obligatory these are with characters that i think would be compatible with an ace reader so this isnt going to follow my base/go to list of characters! a lot of these are going to dip into admins experience as someone on the ace spectrum (asexual/aegosexual!) reader is written as vague ace identity but like. mostly involved to be ace. admittedly this leans more into most of this being ace hcs since i think for the most part they dont care/dont find issue with your identity

Characters: Slenderman, Trenderman, Eyeless Jack, Masky

CWs: mentions of sex but like. nothing too bad mostly just vague sex drives and that sort of thing, really!

Slenderman;

honestly i think he might be on the ace spectrum, or maybe thats because i dont think he really knows what sex /is/

okay well he does know what it is but he only understands it on a surface level, but otherwise he doesnt really care much for it in an everyday setting

yeah i think hes on the spectrum; i also think he might be on the aro spectrum!

only really initiates intimacy if you want it (reminder that not all aces dont have sex! attraction stuff is the main thing) but otherwise i would write him the same way as i do with a non-asexual reader!

extra headannon since his is kinda short but really hes probably the most supportive out of any creepypasta simply because i like to write him as this entity that doesnt interact much with others but is still. curious. this man does not know what lgbtphobia is (and thinks its dumb when he does find out!)

Trenderman;

very similar with slenderman but more in tuned with identity stuff and things like that

personally i hc him to be greysexual, or demisexual! i think trender is like. the only one out of the 3 brothers (that i claim) that i dont see being ready to get down and dirty? like unlike slender he KNOWS what it is and understands attraction and all that but just doesnt. feel it

so he gets it! he interacts with people more than slender but like. not openly, i mean like not as himsef?! this is kind of a side tangent but i like to think that slender beings can create false human bodies and trender is the main one who uses it

anyways! im kind of getting off topic

he understands the stigma and hate ace people can get so out of the four characters today i think he would be the most likely to offer an ear when youre getting flack

i wish i had more for trender as well but this is genuinely the first time ive written for him so im still all OWOWOOOUGH!! with how i wanna portray him

speaking of i need to do like a catch up post for him, and some other characters so i might do that soon^^

Eyeless Jack;

okay so! the two above characters are fine with it because theyre on the spectrum above but i feel like eyeless jack just outright doesnt care if your ace or not since he has a fairly low sex drive 99% of the time

sappy man, one of those "i prefer people based on their personality rather than their looks" but not in the "im so deep for this and im lying through my teeth" way i (personally) see people say (school was ROUGH man) but in a "im literally turning into a monster my skin is fucking blue and starting to rot i have no place to say anything" way

anyways

he adores you so so much and he really feels like he doesnt deserve you, bro could not care

probably tries to find flowers around his cabin that make up the ace flag/which ever flag you use

though im not sure how many grey flowers there are... hes trying his best!

Masky;

similar to eyeless jack he has a low sex drive imo so it isnt too much of a big deal to him, plus i think hes graysexual? at least i feel like he would if he knew about the label

i think asides slender and trender, he doesnt know much about this sort of thing so youre probably going to explain it to him

he mostly gets it! he gets things mixed up but hes trying his best!

overall supportive bf!! probably steals a pride pin from somewhere (dont ask)

imagine he grabs the wrong pin/j

wweoeoeohh! i hope this post is okay! admittedly i wasnt sure how this was going to turn out since, as stated above, i feel that a lot of the characters wouldnt mind/are on the spectrum themselves im not gonna lie this couldve been better but im so out of it rn that my brain is all scattered n stuff :( regardless i hope this is sufficient, and once again im so sorry for the wait TToTT

[ladydaybreaker]

Some Friends to play with!

*cracks knuckles* Alrighty @jamieenthusiast you asked for it haha. So. The Ad Astra Kiddos would like to make some new friends. Let's start with the oldest and go down to the youngest (pick and choose at your leisure! I'll give le pictures from @officialarmrest for them.

Orion

Orion is the eldest of the Working Disassemblers, Uzi and N's son. He looks dead on like his father save for the fact that he dresses more akin to his mother (beanie with his daddy's pilot wings and a hoodie that looks like his mama's). The only difference between him and his father? Orion's got scars around his true eyes, wings and tail from...some things he really doesn't like to talk about. He also very rarely smiles, opting for his mother's resting look of annoyance and/or boredom. Orion's a bit...well, he's his mother's son. Let's just put it at that. He's a bit cold and standoffish (angsty teen energy) until you get to know him. In terms of lil' Mango? The second Orion finds out about the guitar he's sold. Orion's big into music and scavenged an acoustic guitar that his aunt Cyn taught him to play. He'd probably get right along playing with the lil guy and maybe even smile a little bit for the first time in a long time.

Victoria "Tori"

Queen Bee of the school and V and Thad's only child. When she's around her classmates and friends you can definitely see Thad's chill personality and V's sass...but around her family? That's where the sweet little manor maid V comes out full force. Tori is very much V's little doppleganger save for the fact she has very light colored blonde hair. She has her mother's vision glitch and does need glasses (they tend to slide down and she uses her tail to push them up). She's big into nature science and will go on for hours on some cool animal fact that she's found. She also loves flying and is one of the more graceful of the Fledgeling squad.

Astra

N and Uzi's youngest child and only daughter. Astra's a bit different than the rest of her squad...in that being she looks almost 1:1 like Uzi. However, like her brother, it's not all like her look alike parent. She's very bubbly, very excitable, and very much a people person (just like dad!) She loves shiny objects and her clothes and being as pristine and clean as possible. She's even made some of her own jewelry and clothes (She was given a coat like her dad's and a hat similar to her dad's pilot hat...her mom gave her a skull pin she found instead of the pilot wings because Orion took that. She has her mom's old combat boots though!). She has many many rings and bangles and necklaces on her person. Her pride and joys though are a pin of a vaguely earth-like planet encircled by stars and a crescent moon that her aunt J gave her and a crystal collar around her neck with a silver plate that reads 002. She adores her grandma Nori and wants to be just like her...even with adopting her hairstyle. I could definitely see her and Mango bonding over making jewelry (if Astra doesn't scare the poor kiddo away because of her bubbly nature).

Vesper

Finally, there's Vesper. Vesper is a bit of an odd duck but he's a sweet little gentleman. He might as well be, his mother's Cyn. Vesper is a small, young little worker who loves music and can sing like an absolute cherub. Perfect little southern gentleman with his bright blue eyes and freckle artifacts that are shadowed by curly white hair and an equally as white stetson that he may or may not have stolen from his Pa. One of Vesper's favorite things to do is play piano while his Ma plays her violin beside him...but he can and will pick up any instrument he's given and play the heck out of it as easy as breathing. He loves working with his cousin Orion because of that. He also loves penguins and if you get him started talking about penguins that boy will not stop.

Ya don't have to do anything with them if you don't want to, but I saw the chance for these four yahoos to make some friends and I leaped for it.

[butteronabun]

Hear, hear!

Guys, so fortunately, last month - I reached a hundred followers on this blog account, and to celebrate, I’ll be taking DILUC ONE-SHOT REQUESTS! Yahoo! 🥳

I’d like to thank everyone who has been with me on this short journey so far, and it has been a pleasure writing for the Diluc lovers. 🫂 Here’s to many more fics to share ~ 🤍

REQUESTS RULES AND REQUIREMENTS (UNDER THE CUT):

1. For the request format, I’d like to be organized, so please send the following:

diluc + trope/dynamic + au + genre + quote

(example: diluc + friends to lovers + modern au + comedy + “so this is weird, i know we’re neighbors who never talk to each other but i seriously need your help. there’s a monster— i- i mean, there’s a spider, and you look strong enough to become my knight in shining armor.”)

2. The quote is optional, but I would very much appreciate it because it’d be easier for me to write 😊🤍 Or dialogues could be an option, as well.

(example: diluc + friends to lovers + modern au + comedy

“so this is weird, i know we’re neighbors who never talk to each other but i seriously need your help. there’s a monster— i- i mean, there’s a spider, and you look strong enough to become my knight in shining armor.”

“…what?”)

3. Feel free to elaborate more on your request by adding a paragraph below the request format! Go crazy specific✨

(example: diluc + friends to lovers + modern au + comedy

“so this is weird, i know we’re neighbors who never talk to each other but i seriously need your help. there’s a monster— i- i mean, there’s a spider, and you look strong enough to become my knight in shining armor.”

“…what?”

diluc actually crushes on with the reader all this time so they’re not an entire stranger to him 🤪)

4. Please indicate if your reader is a she/her or gender neutral.

Now that we’re finished with the request format, here are some rules:

1.) I have the liberty to reject any requests who did not follow the format / who did not adhere to the rules / if it makes me uncomfy. (Sorry! 🙇🏻‍♀️ Though do send me an ask if you’re unsure 🫂 We cool here)

2.) I will not write any explicit NSFW, but mild suggestiveness is alright with me. Let’s keep it SFW guys! 🫣

3.) At most, I’ll be writing (hopefully) a minimum of 500 words and a maximum of 1k-2k words one-shots. 💞 Hope you understand! So at most, simpler requests will be appreciated.

4.) Exceptions. Please bear with me. I’m not going to write any of the following:

- high school / college au

- pregnancy

- self harm

- violence

- affairs

- yandere

Thank you for understanding! I’m looking forward to all of your requests. 🤍 Haveeee a w o n d e r f u l day ✨

[stitchdfox]

Eddie on tour pt 5

“Why is your tour so short?” Steve asks, curious.

Eddie walks down the street on the main drag in St. Louis. They have a rare day off before their show and he’s enjoying the strangely cool day.

“They only asked us on for the first leg of tour. Some other yahoos get to take our place opening on the second leg.” Eddie pulls his earbuds from his leather jacket pocket, tucking Steve’s voice into his ears.

“Hmm.” Steve takes a second to reply. “Is that good or bad?”

“Can it be both?” Eddie asks. “It’ll be nice to sleep in my own bed again. But the rush of playing in front of a crowd, in these beautiful venues, that I’ll miss.”

“You’ll book another tour soon. I’d put money on it.”

Eddie grins from ear to ear. “What makes you so sure?”

“Eds. I don’t listen to metal. Like. At all. But I enjoy the music you and the guys make. It feels very you and I love listening to… I’m an 80s pop guy! And I can’t get enough of Corroded Coffin.” He clears his throat, “for what it’s worth.”

“It’s worth a lot, sweetheart.” Eddie’s dimples grow deep as his smile widens.

“Enough about me. What trouble have you been getting into lately, big boy?” Eddie eggs him on.

“It’s so boring over here. Just trying to make it through summer classes.” Steve sighs.

“But what do you do for fun?” Eddie asks as he walks into a coffee shop. The music is low and he orders an Americano with room for milk.

“I don’t really. I mean, I used to swim but I haven’t since high school.” Steve’s voice goes low. “I’m nothing special.”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow. “You take that back.”

“Huh?”

“You do not get to talk about my favorite person like that.” Eddie snarls to emphasize his point. “You’re incredibly caring, you’ve put a lot of work into figuring out who you want to be, and you’re going to be a councilor. Not because it’s easy but because you want to help people.”

“Okay, okay. Calm down, baby.” Steve sounds flushed.

“I will not.” He smiles at the kind barista as he picks up his drink. He adds milk and sugar, giving it a stir.

“Eddie.”

“Now that we have that out of the way, what do you do for fun?” Eddie’s voice is more even and soothing.

“Mmm. I do like to draw. I have a few sketch books here and I don’t really show anyone what I work on.” Steve pauses. “I think I’d like to try painting.”

“That’s a brilliant idea.” Eddie walks out of the coffee shop and perches on a bench near by.

“Question,” Steve prompts.

“Hmm?” Eddie sips his coffee.

“Am I really your favorite person?” His voice cracks.

“Uh… yeah. Yes. Please don’t tell Jeff.”

“That’s the first thing I’m telling him when I meet him.” Steve laughs.

There’s a comfortable silence between them now. Eddie breathes in deep as he looks at the sky. He hasn’t shared a quiet moment like this with anyone before. He always feels the need to fill the silence. Worried for some reason or another that the person is bored or bothered or annoyed. But with Steve, with this man on the other end of the line, he feels content. His anxiety wasn’t buzzing around like bees in his head. It was just the two of the here in this moment, miles apart, but together.

“Hey Eddie?”

Steve’s soft tone feels like flowers blooming in Eddie’s chest.

“Yeah?”

Steve clicks his tongue. “Never mind.”

“Okay.” Eddie fiddles with his rings. He hums a tune that’s been stuck in his head.

“Don’t you want to know?” Steve pries.

“Of course! You changed your mind though so I’m not gonna push it. I’ll be here if you change your mind again.” Eddie’s lips purse as he reassure the other man. He whistles.

“Okay,” Steve’s next words rush together. “I was wondering if you were staying in a hotel room tonight and if you’d be alone and if you’d be interested in maybe talking like um, more intimately and I don’t want to assume anything. I just can’t stop thinking about you and I don’t know if I can wait until I meet you or even if you’d want to go any further and I feel like a weirdo asking—“

“We are treating ourselves to a hotel tonight,” Eddie cuts him off.

“Does that mean… is that a yes?” Steve’s pitch raises with his question.

“Can I admit something?” Eddie asks.

Steve swallows, “of course.”

“I haven’t had phone sex before.” His face turns red and even though Steve can’t see him he pulls a bit of hair to cover his mouth. Embarrassed.

“Me either!” Steve shouts and then goes shy. “Think, uh, think you’d like to give it a try?”

Eddie hums playfully.

“I do like telling stories,” he muses. “And I’ll have to tell Jeff to get lost for a while tonight. He will definitely give me shit for that.”

Steve is quiet.

“You know what?” Eddie throws his free hand in the air. “For you, sweetheart, I’m in.”

“You’re sure?” Steve whispers.

“Mhmm. As long as you don’t get jealous of my sweet, sweet story telling skills.” Eddie says breathy.

“It’s not like bed time stories, you know that, right?” Steve questions.

“You haven’t been to one of my D&D sessions yet. You don’t know what you’re in for.” He gloats.

“Clearly.” Steve chuckles again. “Well, I gotta head out. I’m having lunch with Robin in a bit.”

“Tell her I said hi and I can’t wait to meet her backstage.” Eddie grins.

“What do you… seriously? She’s gonna flip. You’re so wonderful.”

“VIP badges will be at will call just for you two.” Eddie bites his lip. “Talk to you later, Steve.”

“Can’t wait.”

Eddie ends the call and texts Jeff.

/Eddie/: I’m gonna need the room for a while tonight. No questions asked.

He sips the last of his coffee. His phone chimes.

/Jeff/: youre gross. I’ll just cuddle up with GareBear tonight.

/Jeff/: I don’t gotta know what you’re getting into but I feel like I should congratulate you or something.

/Eddie/: I’ll accept my medal at breakfast tomorrow.

/Jeff/: Seriously. You’re gross. 😜

Totally worth the endless teasing ahead. Now what was he going to do with the rest of his day? He spots a small artsy store front across the way. He crosses the street and bobs in.

——

I love them, your honor. Prepare for smut in pt 6. 🫣

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 6 coming soon with the promise of smut!

Follow me on Twitter if you’d like!

[taocc-updates]

hellllooo guys!! soup here again!!

wanted to. apologize and explain recent inactivity . ive been sleeping a lot more often (not sure why, im just very very tired) and also. School !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so Yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will resume activity very very soon though. !!!! yahoo!!

[taiyaki-translations]

A Gift to Spring Breeze - 4

Season: Winter Characters: Subaru, Mao, Eichi Translator: taiyaki-translations

Mao: “Good afternoon everyone~! I am the student council president and the host of this on-campus charity flea market, Isara Mao. Thank you for joining us today!”

“Let me briefly explain the rules of the event! Everyone can hand in the items they want to donate to the largest booth located on the north side of the grounds, and the staff will determine if they can be accepted.” 

“The items that are not suitable to be given away directly will be placed on the stalls on the east and west side of the charity sale. If you’ve prepared a lot of items, you can also apply for a stall in advance.” 

“All proceeds from the sales will be used to purchase materials to be donated to the orphanage in the name of all the students and teachers of Yumenosaki. The whole process will be supervised carefully to ensure that everything is delivered properly.” 

“Everyone is also welcome to participate in the handicrafts activities on the south side of the grounds whenever they want! The handicrafts, candies and snacks prepared by everyone will be sent to the children as special New Year’s gifts.” 

“Finally, I hope everyone can have fun today, and have a happy and meaningful time ♪”

…Ahaha, I saw the producer applauding with everyone in the audience. It’s a little embarrassing~ 

I really looked like a student council president just now? Really? 

To be honest, I have always felt like I’m still far behind the former president. Thank you for cheering me on ♪

Also, this charity event seems to be running smoothly. Thank you for all your help, producer. 

Even though you have so much work to do as a producer, you were still willing to take the time to help us contact and communicate with others on all aspects of this event. It’s because of that the event could be finalized so quickly.

Leave it to the student council now! Even if it’s just to measure up to your hard work, we will definitely make the event a complete success ☆

By the way, does that big bag you’re carrying hold all the things you want to donate? If it’s heavy, shall I help you carry it?

You say it’s not that heavy…? Oh, so they’re old clothes that belonged to the producer’s brother that he can no longer wear. 

Haha, I get it, I get it. Boys’ heights increase quickly when they’re growing up, right~? 

It just so happens that I also want to donate some comic books that I’ve read, so I’ll go over to the staff with you. 

Although I feel a little reluctant to give them up, I want more people to be able to read these beautiful comics ♪

Wow, the line for donations is so long… It seems like everyone’s enthusiasm is much higher than I thought.

Subaru: Yahoo yahoo~ Sally~, Producer! Look here, give me a smile, a smile ☆

Mao: ~☆

…I unconsciously followed the producer’s lead and made a peace sign. Subaru, are you taking pictures of us with that camera?

Subaru: That’s right, I’m being conscientious and completing the task that the producer assigned to me! 

Mao: So that’s it… This time, you needed to record the details as a demonstration of how to run this kind of event in the future. Subaru is familiar with the school’s affairs and has some experience with a camera, so you asked him to do it?

Subaru: Fufun~ Eichi-senpai has given me a similar assignment before, so I’m pretty good at it now. I’ve taken a lot of good photos and videos~♪

Look, this is a souvenir photo of me with my glass marbles. I asked the staff next to me to take the photo. Aren’t they sparkly~☆

Mao: Oh, I remember that Subaru has always liked the glass marbles from soda bottles, right? It must have taken you a long time to get such a full can…?

Subaru: It’s no problem, I can always restart my collection. If they can bring sparkling smiles to the children, then every glass marble has even greater value ☆

Huh, producer? Why did you suddenly pat my head? Are you praising me? 

Haha, I feel that everyone who is willing to share what they like with others is amazing! 

For example, Hokke brought konpeito candy and gaming books, as expected. And Natsume and that yellow kid would be interested in buying  the retro games that Ukki found at his house, right? 

Aira’s stall has a lot of duplicate idol goods that he said he bought on impulse. I got a small hand light with Shinonon’s face printed on it ☆

Oh also, also, this photo—

Eichi: Oh, isn’t this Tori? He looks so cute hugging that giant teddy bear.

Mao: …Uwah!? T-Tenshouin-senpai, when did you get behind me?

Eichi: Sorry, did I scare you? Seeing you all chatting so happily, I got curious so I couldn’t help but come over ♪

Subaru: We’re just looking at the photos I took! Himemin said that he and his sister picked this bear for the children together. They even left a note saying “Take good care of me!” in the bear’s pocket. 

Mao: Ah, it looks like it’s almost our turn in line. After this, I’ll meet up with the other members of the student council to patrol the grounds. 

Producer, you don’t have any other work assignments this afternoon, right? That’s a rare opportunity, so why not enjoy this as an ordinary high school student and hang out with Tenshouin-senpai? ♪

Subaru: Then, I’ll go and continue taking pictures~ See you later!

Eichi: So in the end, it’s just me and the producer, huh? Don’t you think it’s a date-like atmosphere? 

Oh my, your reaction is so calm, I’m a little disappointed. 

However, this serious and frank character of yours is also one of your good points and what makes you so cute. That’s why I can’t help but joke around so I can see more interesting expressions from you ♪

Hm, I smell food… That should be the students selling various home-made snacks at the nearby stalls. Even steamed buns are available. 

“Then let’s start with the takoyaki”? Haha, that’s fine with me. It’s rare to see the producer so motivated about something other than work. 

This really gives off the feeling of being at a festival and it reminds me of the time when the Kenkafes(?) was held. 

For me, that was a very pleasant and unforgettable summer memory…♪

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