#nope I choose this moment as to when this episode ended

[pose4photoml]

OK~ as far as I’m concerned this is how that episode ended 😉

[thewayuarent]

About choices

And about Sand’s choices mostly

(there are spoilers to the next episode in here if you try to avoid them)

I found myself using the word pathetic to describe literally any character in this show by that point and while I do it ironically I think it doesn’t fit for me anymore. I’m also way far to be the only one using it especially when discussion is about Sand.

And the thing is - I don’t think he’s pathetic about Ray. I also think after this episode that I’m actually really proud of him. And while I have that very uneasy feeling every time I watch Sand yielding to Ray - I work hard to find my peace with it and be fine with that.

Because he’s making his choice and it’s not my place to judge him for that. Because I don’t want to do with Sand the same exact thing Top and Cheum do with Mew - questioning his life choices and blame them on Ray. Because Sand is an adult and he has a right to make his own decisions.

This episode is actually the first time I see Sand being honest about his feelings with Ray. This scene right here - is about Sand admitting his feelings.

Maybe he doesn’t say it as it is, he still uses sarcasm cause of course he would - but he also clearly hurt and he doesn’t hide it away as usual. This is also the moment I believe Ray realizes for the first time that he means something for Sand.

And after that conversation, after him not responding to messages and staying his ground, the next thing is he’s being smitten with Ray again.

And it’s so fucking understandable. He’s not pathetic. He’s just in love. And he allows himself that moment of weakness just because he wants to spend this time or more time with Ray. Simple as that.

And after that absolutely gross terrible shit Ray has an audacity to tell in his face - Sand is still here.

And it’s not only about him helping Ray with cops. Cause this one understandable as hell at least for me. Police brutality is not a fun thing to experience at all (I experienced it ones after anti-war protest and I live in Russia so I know that shit). And no matter how angry I am at someone I won’t let them get through it alone, I will help them in situation like this absolutely. And I would definitely not let an addict with severe mental illness get to a fucking jail, are you kidding me? Even Top was like nope and he hates Ray.

Even if we all know that this is way more dangerous for Sand, cause Ray has money while Sand doesn't. Even if I think the right choice for Sand would be thinking about himself not Ray here just for a reason of being save - I would do the same thing. I spend one night in jail as a queer person and I still have a PTSD 1,5 year later. I know it was an impulse from Sand I know it's fucking dangerous and he's risking everything. I know it's stupid thing to do - and still I do not judge him for that.

But this is also about the next week preview. This is about Sand forgiving Ray once more. Giving him another chance. And the answer to the question “How will they end up like this after that disaster of a party?” - well, it’s because that what Sand wants. (And Ray also wants it obviously but we’re not asking him here, he’s sitting in a corner thinking about his behavior)

And the important thing here is - Ray is not the only one Sand gives this chance to. He gives it to himself also. And this is about him as much as about Ray. Because Sand was hurt before. And he closed up after that. And he only now allows himself to be honest with Ray for the first time. It not even as much in this conversation

- cause he’s probably doesn’t have the best control of his emotions so it can be unintentionally.

It’s this one we haven’t seen yet.

He lets himself be honest. And that means he gets himself an opportunity to feel and maybe to be happy but also to be hurt again. And this is a good thing, actually.

Because this is how life works. You can either choose to guard yourself or risk it without knowing for sure where it brings you.

And maybe it won’t last long. Maybe it’s only for a brief moment when they physically move themselves away from the reality - but it does count. And those moments? They matter as much as bad ones.

I personally do believe they are eventually doomed by narrative - and not because of love triangle or Ray's addiction, but because of the clear power imbalance this relationship build on. But while it's my personal belief, it's clearly not Sand's, at least in the moment. And it's his right to allow himself this chance - himself, not Ray.

Sand does deserve better. Yes, absolutely. He deserves to be loved and respected (you hear me Ray? I said respected) and not played around. People say it all over again and I’m definitely one of them. But the reality is, love is not only about what we deserve. And it’s not even only about what we feel. It’s about what we choose. And why it’s not for everyone to understand why Sand chooses Ray, it’s not our place to judge. It’s his choice. So if that what he wants I will support him.

The only boundary Sand semi-successfully holds is not being the second choice. He doesn’t let Ray do that to him - and it seems like he won’t in a future. And this is important cause it shows that Sand doesn’t completely betray who he is for Ray.

For all the other things - Ray saying (every time while being wasted as hell) things that probably for many people unforgivable - and I do respect that - well, Sand forgives him. And it doesn’t make him weak or stupid. It makes him who he is.

I was there before more than I would like to. My father is an alcoholic and sometimes when he’s drunk he says terrible things. It’s complicated cause he never allows himself this when he’s sober. And I know that alcohol doesn’t makes him different person, it’s still him. But I also know that condition brings worst in him. Things he actively fights all the time but that are still there. And when he’s sober - sometimes he apologizes. Sometimes he doesn’t remember. I choose to forgive him every time - not only for him but for myself. Does it makes me weak? I don’t think so.

Ray’s addiction is not his whole personality, but it’s a big part of who he is and it explains - not excuses - a lot about how he behaves. And being with addicted person is hard and exhausting and it’s not for everyone. It’s a personal choice - there’s no right or wrong here. Sand makes his.

Love is always about choice. And it’s not only about Sand, actually. It’s about all of them.

Mew doesn’t deserve being cheated on but it’s his choice to forgive Top or not, not ours. And my bet he will.

Top and Boston don’t deserve their sex being recorded and released but it’s up to them if they forgive anyones involved. And my bet they will. Top already running after Mew and Boston continues to add himself in this friend group, so they are already partially there.

Ray doesn’t deserve being dragged around by Mew to be his revenge supply, but it’s his choice to play along. And yes, he’s not that stupid, he clearly knows Mew’s reasoning.

Nick doesn’t deserve being betrayed by Sand, but he made a choice to forgive him and stay friends with him and trust him again anyway.

And this list is endless, this is just some examples. They all do messed up stuff to each other, hurt each other and then move on. They could honestly stop any relationship any character has with others but they all are still here. They won't be forever, probably, but for now, yes, and it's their rigth. This is how we’re growing up.

Sand knows exactly how Ray is. He’s not deceived about it. He sees Ray for what Ray is - all good and bad and charming and struggling parts of his personality. He actually always knew and he falls for Ray being himself not some pretty image of him. He knows Ray is far from perfect. He knows Ray doesn't respect him - he was there being called a whore and again with this stupid possesive rant. He was hurt by Ray way more than once.

And he perfectly rigth saying they have nothing in common - they are from different worlds and they always will.

But he's wrong about it at the same time. Cause it’s music, and also parental issues, and the ability to have fun with each other. It’s also Ray saying he’s in his happiest with Sand

which is absolutely mutual in their good moments. It’s about freedom they find in each other - Ray from his pain and Sand from his exhausting daily routine. It’s also about their shared need to be needed. It's not enough for stable relationship cause their differences are way bigger, but that's enough for him to be willing to give it a try.

Their bond is not healthy or romantic but it still deserves a chance to be. And I love how this show never tries to romanticize any of it. It’s always a complex mix of feelings because they are in wrongs so many times and every time you feel like it’s enough but this moment is still not here. And one minute they are broken but the next they are happy and then broken again and this is how life works.

They are so, so young and it’s not only about age (cause I’m not that much older than them but honestly I remember myself in 22 and I was a whole different person) but also about the amount of experience they have in their lives. About the dynamics they have and patterns they are stuck in. And this is always about getting this new experience and it’s not pleasant all the time but there are still moments when it is.

As for Sand - he’ll be alright. He is alright honestly. He’s not fooling himself into believing that his love will “fix” Ray. He’s just there both for Ray and for himself. And about what Sand deserves? He deserves exactly that, because that is what he wants. He deserves it for the sake of learning and feeling and growing up thanks to that experience.

He doesn’t need to be saved from Ray simply because he made his choice. Because it's not about Sand patheticly falling for Ray's needs.

It's about Sand meeting his own.

And while it not necessary to agree with him, or understand him, it's at least worth an acceptence.

[theladyyavilee]

This episode frustrated me how dare they say that about she she sees him more then he sees himself and how she’s different no that’s not what was shown. What was shown is that she’s not into him at all for the person she’s into him cause he died. I really truly hope buck wakes up quickly and realizes this relationship is going to go nowhere. She doesn’t care about him and the writers want us to seriously think she’s a viable love interest nope sorry not working.

love I am saying this with all the kindness in my heart (like, genuinely, it sounds like most of your disappointment and frustration might be self-inflicted!), but you literally answered your own question here - it is not working and she is not what buck is trying to make himself believe she is to him and that IS THE POINT and the writers are making that point on purpose

I do not know why you (and so many others) are so convinced that everything buddie happens on accident and that the relationships with the various love interests are trainwrecks on accident as well, like, they are telling a story here, and it is not a straight (haha xD) line from point A to point B, it's a winding path with dead ends and wrong turns and obstacles like in real life, which I personally think is a way better and more intersting story <3 and that means trying things and failing, which includes relationships that aren't endgame, but which are an important opportunity for you to learn something about yourself and what you want from a relationship and who you want to BE in a relationship

and so these relationships feel off because they are SUPPOSED to! if they wanted you to actually like and get on board with a love interest, they WOULD get you there, I promise you, the way they are handling the relationships of madney, bathena, henren and even more background couples like david and michael and toni and clive and even sue and her husband and couples on calls like the amnesia couple in 5x18 or the lesbians from 5x9 or mitchell and thomas from waaay back in 2x8 for example should tell you that they absolutely know exactly how to write healthy and beautiful and lovely relationships that feel right and satisfactory -like even for the background couples, with just a handful of scenes they got me so invested in those couples and I was rooting for them sooooo hard!!! so if they wanted us to feel that way about a buck or eddie LI, I am pretty sure they absolutely would do an amazing job convincing us (and would have started doing so waaay before this point in time if we are being honest xD), but they very much ARE NOT, BECAUSE THAT IS THE POINT, those relationships are not meant to be taken as endgame options and we are not supposed to be rooting for them and I promise your experience with this show is going to improve soooo so so much when you start trusting the writers on being able to tell you whether or not to get invested in a couple, because it will spare you so so so much anxiety, I really really promise!

also, side note, 'they' (as in 'the writers' I assume?) did not say anything at all, Buck said that she sees him, because he is an unreliable narrator and he is misunderstanding a MULTITUDE of things in very unhealthy ways at the moment, but that that doesn't make it true that she sees him in any way, shape or form, they are indeed literally showing IN THE SAME scene that what buck is saying is bullshit, because Eddie is the one who actually sees him and Buck is missing it (and they told us he WOULD miss the point this season, when in episode 1 he had that line about 'excellent options right under his nose' and 'like he is choosing not to see them'! buck is very much missing the obvious and reaching all the wrong conclusions!)

so yeah, to summarize - the relationship is feeling off on PURPOSE because that is the kind of story they are telling and if they wanted you to actually root for them, they would go about it very differently (which we know they can pull off!) and so I would recommend to have a little more faith in the writers and let yourself look at what they are really actually putting down instead of giving too much weight to bad faith conspiracy theories here on tumblr about how the writers are forcing buddie appart and trying to force us into believing in love interests that are very unsubtly and in text already heavily doomed!!!

[rocketturtle4]

Not Me some more - Eps 6 & 7

@plantsarepeopletoo @anon451 @shouldiusemyname @thegalwhorants @wen-kexing-apologist @slayerkitty @fanfictionroxs @pandasmagorica

First post here

You're getting an update sooner than I thought because I skipped nearly allll my Sunday shows to take advantage of me and the watchbuddies all being on the weekend! (Oh My God Love in Translation finale brb - update will wait) (Finale was good am back, I feel so warm and cozy, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah how amazing Not Me is)

Episode 6 was a lot and episode 7 was AMAZING

There was NO Todd in either ep so I have no additional thoughts on him.

The plan in ep 6 was bonkers but it was crazy for White to switch it out right at the end!! Strangulation was a bit much though...

[Image of Yok saying: Your plan sucked]

I did adore the crosswalk metaphor in 6 1/4 though, walking into traphic because you're in the right doesn't mean you won't be killed, and if you are killed will your death have made a difference? mmmmm I really want other people I know to watch this show...

[Image of White saying: Your life is worth more than you think}

interestingly one of the only things I had already seen was that moment under the pride flag

not with sound or words, just the hand grab and the jumping and, with no context, I had assumed it would be much later in the series, a moment where the characters accept their relationship to each other...but nope, Instead it was a moment of shared celebration before that shift in the relationship, I might love that even more!!

Episode 7 felt like it shifted tone a little though to what I'm not quite sure yet.

We did get apparent resolution/explanation for the Eugene/Gram stuff

[Image of Eugene saying: Knowing nothins is the worst thing ever]

Seriously, she was dumped and then drawn in and then dumped again, very rough for Eugene.

I'm still not sure whether Graham was in love with Black or her though...

No more evolution on the theory of who hurt black and why specifically, except it's either the obvious answer (Tawi) or Tod...

Also, gosh! First was distracting this ep! Like how am I supposed to read the subtitles when I can't look away from his eyes??

[Multiple images of Yok staring at other characters]

Excuse me sir, please put your eyes away so I can focus!

[Image of Yok with his hand on Grahams face as they stare into each others eyes]

ALSO WHAT KIND OF TEASING WAS THIS ^^^ First Graham and Black now Graham and Yok? Somebody better kiss Graham soon (I mean he did kiss Eugene but STILL).

The nuance of Yok's mother being negatively impacted by his actions... ahh I do adore it.

@plantsarepeopletoo made a comment when we were watching about White being thought and Black being action and the halves of the whole they make up. All these people influenced by Black's action now being exposed to White's thought...

[Image of Sean and White asleep together]

Also again, OffGun is still working for me no matter how much I want White and Graham to kiss...

PLUS

Cop/Yok progression!! (I haven't learned Gawin's characters name yet)

[Yok saying: Will you uncuff me so we can have a proper conversation]

(Gawin also showing off his eyes this ep!)

(also Yok loves him for his skill as an artist?? Be still my beating heart)

I have been promised GOOD things for next ep :D

[Yok saying: It's my turn to draw you]

Also commentary on the police!! The actions we don't see and the difference between individuals and an organisation. SO MUCH IS BEING SAID IN THIS SHOW. Working both inside and outside organisations is required to make change. Also the way officers are granted automatic respect/lack of suspicion.

[image 1 with Yok saying: being both a cop and an artist that runs from cops. Image 2 with cop saying: I want to make things better than they are now]

Plus the confirmation from multiple characters this ep around knowing that their actions might lead to death or jail and choosing it anyway... Youth is such a passionate time.

[Yok saying: I never considered myself a hero who fights for justice]

[Sean saying: I do whatever needs to be done]

I think that's all for now, I am curious how the rising up of more people might challenge the more extreme actions of the gang, since White was working hard this ep to make them understand that alienating the people would only hurt their cause...

Also how long before Black wakes up? And at what point does the gang find out? Is White in place for the whole series?

Also didn't get any dad these two eps either so White hasn't been White for a while...ugh patience

This ended up with a lot of Yok images again... no idea why that keeps happening.

[vroom63]

Emotions // F.D

Warnings: smut, language, alcohol, unprotected sex (plz be responsible irl), some angst

Summary: Felipe confronts you about the way you've been acting

Word count: 1.7k

Authors note: this took a turn from what I originally had planned, but oh well... not beta read or edited as per usual

You could feel his eyes on you. His stare lingering, sending shivers up your spine. His eyes had been glued to you from the moment you set foot in Marcus’ apartment. You had agreed to help out with the podcast after Silverstone, but you had been held up in the paddock for so long, you arrived in the middle of filming. Felipe had seemed out of it, not really keeping up with Marcus, James and Clem. You were roused from your thoughts as James and Marcus wrapped up the episode. 

“Peach, are you coming out with us tonight?” Marcus asked, offering you a shot of tequila. Declining the offer, you answered “Sorry Kiwi, I have a date with my bed. I fly out tomorrow morning.”. He mumbled something about only living once before downing the shot and chatting to Clem and James about the plans for the evening.

You could feel Felipe behind you before he said anything. “I’m headed back to the hotel if you need a ride,” he offered. You surveyed him closely. “You’re not going out with the boys?” you asked. “Nope, I’m on the same flight as you tomorrow. Whole team is flying together, which you would have known if you hadn’t been avoiding me since Monaco.” he said, a slight edge to his voice. You had been avoiding him, burying yourself in work, but you hadn’t thought he had noticed. As if he could read your mind, he added “what, you didn’t think I would notice? I woke up to an empty bed, a horrible hangover and radio silence. I’m not stupid.”.

The thing was, you weren't sure he even remembered Monaco. He had been plastered, not that you had been much better. You had ended up in his bed, pressed against his sheets, and though you didn’t have any regrets, you didn’t know how to face him. You couldn’t meet his eyes. Choosing to ignore what he had said, you said “I do need a ride, thanks for offering.”. Felipe seemed to be contemplating saying something else, but chose not to. This was probably not the best setting to have this conversation.

The tension in the lift up to the floor the team was staying on, was so thick you had trouble breathing. You knew Felipe had the room across the hall from you, so when he walked with you along the hallway you weren’t surprised. You looked up at him as you stopped outside your door, “thanks for the ride, I’ll see you tomorrow.” you said, still not meeting his eyes. “Y/N.” his voice was stern, “look at me.”. For the first time in over a month, you met those beautiful brown eyes. Eyes that were swimming with unsaid words and emotions. “Can we talk about this please?” he asked. Nodding your head once, you opened the door to your room and held it open for him.

Not knowing what to do or say, you remained standing with your back to him as the door closed. He was behind you in a flash. You could feel the heat from his body radiating towards you. “Why did you leave?” he asked, “why did you pretend nothing happened? Why are you avoiding me?”. It was clear from his voice that he was hurt and confused. The two of you had danced on the edge of more for years, but nothing had really happened until Monaco. Slowly turning around, you looked up at him. “I panicked. And I didn’t think you’d remember, considering the amount of alcohol you had consumed.” you said, trying to justify your actions. Truth was, you were scared. Things could never go back to normal after this. 

“I didn’t drink as much as you thought I did. I may have had a hangover when I woke up, but that was nothing to the feeling when I realized you were not there. Everything from that night is crystal clear.” he said, sounding frustrated, “Every single thing, from the way it felt to finally have your lips against mine, to the sweet sounds you made, to the feeling of peace as I fell asleep with you in my arms.”. His words were stirring something deep inside you, and you could feel the burn of tears in your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you said, “I didn’t know.”. “Didn’t know what exactly?” he countered, “that I’d remember, or that I have been in love with you for ages?”. 

The last statement seemed to suck all the oxygen out of the room. “What?” you whispered. “Peach, I have been in love with you since I joined MP back in the day. I didn’t know what to do about it, then in Monaco I was so sure you felt the same way. And then I woke up to an empty bed.” he said, and you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. You let them fall, surging forward to kiss him. The anxiety and stress from the last month seemed to melt aways as Felipe wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “I love you too,” you whispered as you came up for air. He grinned against your lips, tapping your thigh to indicate that you should jump. Wrapping your legs around his waist, he began assaulting your neck with kisses and bites as he moved towards the bed.

Felipe sat down with you in his lap, slowly laying back against the shee as you continued your makeout session. It didn’t take long for your hips to start moving against him, drawing the most beautiful sounds from him. His hands found your hips, guiding your movement as he sucked on your neck. The different sensations sent shockwaves of pleasure through you, making you whimper as your hands found purchase in his hair. 

“Felipe,” you moaned as the fabric of your jeans rubbed your clit in the most perfect way, “baby please.”. Without needing any more words, Felipe dragged your shirt over your head, popped the button of your jeans and rolled you over on your back before you could comprehend what was happening. He quickly got rid of your jeans, followed shortly by his clothes joining yours on the floor. His hands wandered over your hips, caressing your skin with the lightest touch. You had been craving his touch for the last month, and the way he was teasing was driving you crazy. “Baby, we can take our time later, but if you don’t get that delicious cock of yours inside me right this moment, I will find my toys and do it myself.” you threatened, making Felipe let out a laugh. 

“Always so impatient.” he said, but dragged his cock along your slit, lining up with your entrance regardless. A high pitched moan left you as he sank into you, filling you in the best way. “Fuck baby, you feel so good.” he groaned, lips attacking themselves to you neck again. You had no word to describe the feeling of him fucking you, even though the pace he set felt more like making love than fucking. “More,” you begged, all rational thoughts had left the chat ages ago. He did as you asked, picking up the pace as he adjusted your position. He suddenly withdrew, causing you to protest loudly. “Relax honey, I’m just making it better for you.” he said, a smile present in his voice.

He slid a pillow under your ass, effectively lifting your pelvis up from the bed. Sliding back in, you could feel him hitting your g-spot with every thrust. “Fuck, Felipe,” you moaned, having no other thoughts in you brain than Felipe, Felipe, Felipe. He put a hand on your lower abdomen, pressing down slightly, and you swore you could see stars. The orgasm hit you like a freight train, coming out of nowhere. You had never had an orgasm as intense as this one, and it felt like an eternity before you came down from the high. 

As the ringing in your ears stopped, you noticed two things. Felipe panting like he had run a bloody marathon, and the pillow underneath you felt wet. Looking down, you were met with the sight of Felipe's abs, absolutely drenched. Realizing what had happened, you felt a blush rise in your cheeks. “That was the hottest thing I have ever seen. I don’t think I’ve come so hard in my life.” Felipe sighed, dropping down on your chest, effectively pinning you to the bed. “I missed your orgasm? Damn it, that's the best part.” you complained, feeling him shake with laughter. “I promise baby, there will be many more to come.” he said, voice slightly muffled by your tits. You just laughed, running your nails along his scalp, feeling perfectly at peace for the first time in a long time. 

Waking up in Felipe’s arms felt like a dream. At first you were not sure that it was real life, but the ache in your abs confirmed that it was indeed, real life. Slowly getting out of his arms, you set towards the bathroom, flicking the light on as you went. The second you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you let out a loud shriek. “FELIPE DRUGOVICH, HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO COVER THESE UP?!” you screamed, stalking back to the bed, where a sleepy Felipe looked back at you. The moment he saw your neck he was reduced to a fit of giggles. The entire expanse of your neck was filled with deep purple bruises, screaming what you had been up to the night before. “You are lucky I love you,” you said, going back to the mirror to assess the damage. “I love you too,” he called from the bed, still laughing. You shook your head, steeling yourself for the teasing comments Clem would throw at you later.

[jtl07]

jt (finally) watches warrior nun - s1 e3 (pt 1)

Y'all didn't even warn me that this was gonna be that episode?! I near fell out of my chair when I realized this episode had not only the cafeteria/meal scene but also the hug and the hallway scene. Again, strange to know the scenes from fanvids and clips and only now see them in context lol

Anyway it should come to no surprise that I have SO MANY THOUGHTS. So many that I'm going to have to split this episode into either 2 or 3 posts just to talk about Avatrice because the cafeteria scene alone has me feral. Why? Because I'm convinced that it's this scene that builds the foundation for Avatrice.

Everyone points to s1 ep8 as being formative - and rightly so, what with all the face touching lol - but that wasn't the cause, it was an effect, a "symptom" of something that had been building before that. I think s1 ep8 is when they start being aware of their connection, their attraction - I think the cafeteria scene is when that connection begins.

By itself, the cafeteria scene isn't much - tbh, the only thing I'd taken from it before sitting down to watch the series properly was the "not everything is about you" line because of the callback in s2 finale. But taken in context, it's quite a vulnerable scene.

Side note: Many years ago, when I was seriously preparing to go into acting, I was recommended the book "Audition" by Michael Shurtleff. One of the things that stuck with me - in both writing fiction and life in general - is this idea that you have to constantly answer this question: "Why is your character here?" Like, even if the script has them being mean to the other character on stage with them or even outright saying that they want to leave, there's got to be a reason that they're still there - why else would they even be there in the first place? (and it's the actor's job to develop what that reason is, even if it’s never said outright)

So if we look at the cafeteria scene, it very well could not have happened. Ava could have noped out of that room the moment she'd laid eyes on Lilith or when the sisters started leaving. Beatrice herself could have also left. At any point in the conversation, one or both of them could have ended it.

But they didn't. They wanted to believe in people's kindness, wanted a bit of kindness, period. What's beautiful is the arc of the interaction: It starts out rough but slowly they both bend, just a little, give just a little bit of themselves - it's a seed planted, this scene, and I love so much of it.

Okay let's take it from the top. The thing is, most clips (e.g. this one) I've found start with Ava already sitting down next to Beatrice with that infamous voiceover - but I want to actually start before that. Remember: The scene directly before this was Mother Superion and Lilith's first "test" (let's be real, that wasn't a test, it was bullying), and while Ava laughs it off, we know that that's her way of coping - which she says outright during this scene. Coming into the cafeteria at all is incredibly brave after having been faced with such meanness, and then have to face even more meanness in the form of "middle school" style shunning. But she still keeps going, she still chooses to try again, with Beatrice.

Speaking of Beatrice: Her first choice is to stay. Look here - she takes note of Ava setting down her tray and the others whispering and leaving. Sure, she puts her head down and it kinda looks like she's just trying to ignore Ava but still - she doesn't leave.

When Ava makes that middle school comment, Beatrice starts out cold, a bit scolding when she advises Ava to "not treat everything like a joke" and how the halo wasn't just hanging around. But the delivery here is brilliant - KTY could've gone harsher here, tapped into the anger that seems to always be just under the surface with Bea (more on that when I write up my thoughts on s1 ep4), but there's a softness, a grief that she allows to come through. And see, it's that moment of vulnerability, that bending, that hope for kindness that allows Ava also to bend and actually apologize.

And then we have Ava trying again to connect - either because of guilt or because she's desperate for a friend or just to understand in general - and she gives Beatrice the space to share.

Beatrice could have refused. She could have rebuffed her, could have walked away. KTY's choices here are fantastic, how she pauses, how she takes this little breath (00:50 here). The question has unsettled Bea, taken her surprise maybe, but she pushes through, answers Ava honestly. She starts off so matter-of-fact, then slowly starts to thaw. There's beautiful support musically by the bgm piano: a repeated note, akin to the monotone of Beatrice's voice. Then Bea's face changes - and there's a quiet arpeggio that's timed perfectly with it (1:00 here). It's a beautiful touch.

I couldn't help but get this sense of this being cathartic for Beatrice, as if she'd been waiting for a chance to share this, I mean, look at how her face brightens in memory.

What's interesting with Ava is that we don't get a voice over for the rest of this scene - the only sense we get of her discomfort is when she says, "I'm not her, you know." It's the closest we get to her admitting that she's scared shitless - and visually, it's symbolized with her pushing back the hood and allows herself to be seen, to be vulnerable.

And what does Bea do? She immediately comforts, reassures, with such wide eyes and steadiness: "No one expects you to be."

It's a very brief moment, but so, so important: whereas everyone else has been pressuring Ava, trying to get her to do something they want, here is someone who is telling her it's okay to just be who she is.

And yknow, now that I think about it, a lot of this is probably Bea seeing some of herself in Ava. She directly says it with that "It was wasn't me either" line, but I wonder if it's also in the "no one expects you to be" line too - how her parents had expected her to be a certain way, to "fall in line" etc. And probably why she has that small smile when Ava says "It just isn't me"

I don't know if this was a conscious choice by KTY but there's also a moment in the hallway scene where she does a similar small smile - idk I feel like it tends to be moments when she's reassuring Ava. In any case, it's a nice touch.

And then Bea's famous lines, "We all have a past, Ava..." What's interesting here is that in the beginning of the interaction, Bea was hardly meeting Ava's eyes. When she starts talking about Shannon, there are some brief moments when she meets Ava's gaze, but she mostly shies away from Ava's stare. Once she moves into a more reassuring mode, she starts to hold Ava's gaze longer, trying to convince, trying to give comfort.

Can we just talk about how Bea delivers that last line? Taken at face value, "Not everything is about you" can come off really harsh. But Beatrice says it so gently, as if it's not meant as an admonition - part apology maybe (that everyone has their own pain to deal with), part plea (echoing maybe Vincent's direct ask for patience later on), and part encouragement (something like "you'll get through this").

And we end with Ava thoughtful but we're not privy to her thoughts, we're without voice over and just Alba's incredible ability to express so many emotions with just her face.

idk the majority of this is probably just nonsense but whatever, I'm having fun with this lol - I'll write up thoughts about the hug and the hallway scene probably next week, unless I get a lull during my travels this weekend.

[amplifyme]

@randomfoggytiger

You wrote about What Rough Beast:

CATHY FINALLY WONDERED IF SHE WAS RESPONSIBLE AND FATHER DIDN'T ANSWER.

Right?? Finally, a breakthrough! You really should take a moment to read the script for this episode, as there's more to that scene than what ended up on the screen. Let me know if you need the link to the scripts again. I think in some ways Father was as willfully blind as Cathy when it came to the toll the killings were taking on Vincent. But then, to be fair, Vincent himself shoulders some of the blame for that. Which is part of the reason I so love the thread that Nan weaves throughout BW,BS of Vincent trying to figure out a way to address the issue with Cathy and backing off until it's too late to stop the freight train that was heading straight for him.

More under the cut.

Listening to the music Below is back.

Oh, Vincent, don't you know? Ignorance isn't bliss. He was thinking, "Nope. Not going to think about what's already gone wrong and what's still to come. Let's just take in a concert and forget all about it." I love how Nan expanded on this scene and how Cathy falls apart and Vincent gets grabby in his despair. He wants her so badly.

And, of course, Elliot's back; both in person and in impersonation.

Ah, Elliot. Vincent's rival for Cathy's affections. I can clearly remember watching this episode the first time it aired and being so upset that Elliot was doing this to Cathy, and to Vincent. We didn't have spoilers floating around on the internet back then - we barely had the www. We had no idea what was going on. I don't think I realized it wasn't Elliot in that penthouse until Paracelsus lit up the cigarette. Mind blown.

Vincent and Father's conversation about what Vincent is (and Father's uncertainty here is juxtaposed perfectly to "his" unabashed certainty in a certain climactic moment in the next episode) and setting up his "educated the man" for the finale when they discussed how books were all that kept Vincent from falling off the ledge all those years ago. "Father, I cannot control my thoughts. Father, I'm afraid"-- powerful stuff.

The "Am I a man?" scene is one of my very favorites of the entire series. Perlman was at the top of his game in the trilogy. Not a mis-step anywhere.

Cathy believes Elliot is in the wrong the ONE TIME that he's in the clear (and her "we are beyond" statement-- including herself in the "otherness" that is Vincent-- is touching and disjointed, because she has only ever embraced the parts of him that are "human"... which she says as much in the finale to Peter after the blood analysis.)

Yep. Nothing to add here.

Spirko having the gall to still publish his evidence after Vincent spared him from death and Cathy tried to reason with him (also... JUST SWIPE HIS EVIDENCE AWAY BEFORE HE CAN LEAVE. I understand Vincent was too wiped, but I'm sure he could summon something up or Cathy could put up more resistance.)

But it's like Spirko said: it's not personal, it's news. I may not agree with his methods, but you don't get anywhere as a print reporter unless you're tenacious and maybe a little amoral. But I did enjoy seeing him get the crap scared out of him.

Honestly, I think Cathy figured Vincent wouldn't let Spirko out of there alive, and when V just walked away, the shock of it hit her so hard that she wasn't thinking clearly - or at all.

Cathy choosing to say goodbye rather than fighting for their romance is... huge and frustrating and makes me look even more forward to Diana in S3.

Yeah, had it been me, I would've gone Below with V no matter how much he protested. At that point she had nothing more to lose. Did they both think she'd just be able to carry on her life Above as though nothing had happened? They knew events had been set in motion that they couldn't duck for long. But, then again, if she'd gone Below then, we wouldn't have gotten the rest of the story, right? 😉

Vincent staring into the abyss in his dark room is FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORESHADOOOOOOOOOOWING, and a great eerie cap to this episode.

Did you notice the way he was trembling in that final shot? His whole body was just vibrating.

Okay, on to my favorite episode of the trilogy.

[guzhuangheaven]

Hello! Hope you’re doing well :D! Just wondering what cdramas you’re watching now.

New Life Begins! It's really enjoyable and heart-warming. The plot is kind of non-existent and comes in and out almost like every once in a while the writers remembered they needed to have plot, but it’s got great world-building and characters which make up for it.

I love the concept of the nine regions and how each of those regions represent a different facets/levels to feminism.

You have Xinchuan in the middle being the big patriarchy, and you have Danchuan which is the kind of female-led, female-empowered society that Romance of Tiger and Rose tried to convey but ultimately failed. Danchuan make it very clear the key to empowerment/equality is about respect, and not like actual power or dominance.

But you also have the in-between regions like Jichuan where the FL is from, it isn’t explicitly matriarchal like Danchuan but clearly isn’t the ultra-patriarchal society of Xinchuan either. Here, just the practice of monogamy allows the FL to have different expectations in her marriage compared to her friend, Hao Jia, who comes from a region where polygyny is still the norm.

Hao Jia starts out with awareness that this system sucks but thinks that with that awareness she could play patriarchy to her advantage to benefit from it. Though it makes for a heart-breaking story for Hao Jia, I love the way this drama deconstructs how that ends up being impossible because systematic patriarchy is inherently designed to oppress women and there is no way to benefit from it without losing yourself.

It's also interesting that even though Jinchuan is still clearly male-centred and male-led, the fact that it’s about as close to a capitalist society as this world gets, it also provides women more freedom, at least in terms of being financially-independent. This is a very intriguing very pro-capitalism stance that I kind of hope/wish we can explore more. Are there any dark side of that and what is division of labour in the family like in Jinchuan if both men and women work…Do everyone just pay for childcare or do you just hoist that off to other family members…?

I love all the ways this drama subverts your expectation of female relationships in a typical drama. By episode three when they show the way Haitang and the solar ladies bond and team up to deal with the Third Prince, you should know that this drama is all about women supporting each other, but it still manages to surprise me when they continually refuse to take the catty internalised misogyny route. It’s like this drama decided to set up all the ways that women could turn against each other and then just goes, nope, they’re going to be best friends instead.

One of the things that reassured me that this drama is probably going to stay on the right path throughout is that there is no criticism of the path that Hao Jia chooses even when it traps her in an abusive marriage. Instead there is explicit acknowledgement that the fact that her husband is an abusive asshole is very much on him and just because Hao Jia chose to be his concubine doesn’t mean she deserves this. And she deserves everyone to help her get out of this situation.

At the same time, I was so pleasantly surprised with the Third Prince’s arc of realising that he’s the problem and has been treating his wife and concubines like objects, and how this allows him to learn from that. It’s acknowledgement that yes, men are taught by society to undermine/mistreat women, and change is only possible when they realise what they’re doing is wrong and commit to change. Except violent abusive assholes like the Second Prince. He deserves to die.

I guess the slow burn romance between the ML and FL is cute. But I forget they’re married most of the time to be honest. I also enjoy Bai Jingting in the comedy moments more than the serious political ones.

Sisi and the Seventh Prince are just *chef’s kiss* introvert with anxiety representation. I love how Sisi just occasionally shows up to throw money at her friends to deus-ex-machina them out of scrapes and then disappears again because social interaction is just *too much*.

Anyway, this drama: 10/10 would recommend. -h

[jenyifer]

Last twilight ep6 initial reaction ish

So I watched part 2 3 4 today and watched part 1 bit of 2 Friday when I was ill.

So first I had trouble watching this. I’ll be honest here. While I understand August was Day’s first crush etc. I really don’t know why August pushed so hard for Day. At the end of the episode he goes I can never think of him as more than a friend? Then what was all the shitting on Mhok for and buying Day shoes and shit? The fuck? Also… Day didn’t make me feel like he liked Mhok until the ending stretch I would have loved to see Day in an earlier scene wonder where Mhok was etc. but nope. We get until he is almost panicking for him to think of Mhok. That’s a long fucking time. Mhok has time to go on a depression date with himself. Mhok I think did the best he could he obviously loves Day with all his heart and soul I just want Day to show that same level of affection and love to Mhok. I also would like Day and Night to resolve whatever issue is going on but first and foremost Day show Mhok how much he means to him as a conscious effort. YES THE PERFUME WAS GREAT but it was a spur of the moment thing if we had seen Day use that perfume before? Maybe even in the Clean Up scene Day say oh I need to know where my fave scents are that would have gave it more sentimental value and felt more like Day choosing to like Mhok. The things I can think of Day has done for Mhok are all hidden from the guy. Like looking at his face those times. Caring about what Mhok looks like. Day is always trying to figure that out from ep 1. But the extent that Mhok is aware of low.

Anyways I don’t have great photos but let’s do a quick round up

Don’t trust the mom

Mark Pakin is always my heart and soul 😭😭I feel so bad for Night and he gets no screen time

Painful imagery.

At least the flower fell facing Day. Gahhh things to make me cry because Mhok is the best greenest flag. He is precious to me in so many many ways.

It’s a new Day. Beautiful also so painful. I don’t have a physical disability but I do have diagnosed mental issues and it’s truly heartbreaking to think someone is with you because of pity or because you’ll get better. Oh they’ll get better by the power of love is bullshit. Oh you’ll be able to handle it better because of love bullshit. It’s fucking hard. The best is when someone accepts you for who you are and celebrates and encourages your victories and when you ask hold you when you fall. Forgive you when you can’t take it anymore. Very very beautiful and powerful.

[weather-mood]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @quensty (thank you for the excuse to procrastinate, this was so fun!! 💕)

✨ how many works do you have on ao3?

39!

✨ what's your total ao3 word count?

535,100. But that is counting House so the real count would be a little lower. But that’s still a frightening amount of words.

✨ what fandoms do u write for?

Just Interview with the Vampire 2022 💕

✨ what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Is this too much?, Part of Your World, I can’t help that I need it all, At Home in Rue Royale, and I’ll chew you up and I’ll spit you out.

✨ do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I don’t at the moment, I get overwhelmed and I don’t know how to respond but I treasure them and read them over and over

✨ what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ostentatio Vulnerum, aka Claudia isn’t there in episode 6 when Lestat tries to give Louis the car. It ends with Louis taking Lestat back and it’s very clear that Louis is not well and that’s not a good decision.

✨ what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Staring at the ceiling with you ends with Jesse Reeves and Merrick Mayfair murdering David Talbot together and escaping into the night 💕

Also Charlie living and becoming a vampire with Claudia in Charlie.

✨ do you get hate on fics?

Nope, but I’ve also had my comments set to registered users only ever since the first troll fic dropped ✌🏻

✨ do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Yes, and this is such a funny question- bloody and tender I guess? That’s probably a good way to sum it up.

✨ do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Haven’t written any crossovers yet! Although have the beginning pieces of a severance x iwtv crossover written.

✨ have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

✨ have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! ITTM-verse has been translated into Polish

✨ have you ever co-written a fic before!

I have a collab oneshot wip that’s been in the works since idk March? May? We’ll get it done eventually. Keen to do more co-written pieces in the future.

There’s also House, which wasn’t co-written exactly (chapters were written by individual authors) but that was a really fun collab project.

✨ what's your all-time favorite ship?

You’re going to force me to choose between leslou, danlou, and loumand? 🥺

Outside IWTV, Frodo x Sam, Garashir, Spirk, and Korrasami.

✨ what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I plan to finish all my wips! That being said, Made Myself Mythical only has a vague endpoint in mind and might be something added to indefinitely depending on how long it takes me to get there.

✨ what are your writing strengths?

I really don’t know! That’s so hard to gauge!

✨ what are your writing weaknesses?

Description! I feel like I’ve gotten better but I’m not much of a visual writer/reader so it’s very hard to tell if I’m over or underdoing description at times.

✨ thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like to include a little here and there!

✨ first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on fanfiction.net, I probably would have been 13 or 14? Then I didn’t write any more fanfiction until this year

✨ favorite fic you've written?

Either Rumpelstiltskin or Part of Your World!

I wrote Rumpelstiltskin in practically a fever over a three-day weekend. I love it, there’s the humour of Louis not knowing he’s a vampire and what the reader knows vs what Louis knows. You’ve got fairytale elements, mind gift shenanigans, loumand intricate rituals, the growing sexual tension and build up and it’s just so much fun.

And Part of Your World is my baby, I was going through a really hard time when I wrote it and it was a little sanctuary away from the stress and anxiety of everything else going on. I love the little world of it, I love Louis’s character journey, and I’m so happy with how it turned out 💕

✨ Tagging

Tagging @iwtvdramacd18 @vampdf @gayvampiredivorce and @shewhomustbecalledking and anyone else that wants to do it!

[pro-xy]

Welcome to this week's meltdown post 180 degree longitude, buckle up my emotions are all over the place.

First thing first, I can't move on from In stopping Wang. I can't and won't let go of that moment, i'm keeping it in my heart forever, pretty much like the whole series at this point. I'm holding onto this scene for strength for what's ahead.

After 7 episodes i still don't get how In can be so chill about two people 'invading' his space, as an introvert i know i would freak out 100% like, no m'am, you won't throw a party at my house with a bunch of people i don't know. Nope. Mi casa no es su casa ffs.

As a uni dropout I kind of appreciate In telling Wang to follow his passion and choose philosophy as his major, it's refreshing to see.

Can't have an episode without Wang challenging In at least once. We (and I mean me) love to see it.

Mol is a certified party pooper. Do i need to elaborate on this? I don't think so.

I won't touch on her narrating the post award ceremony events, it pisses me off too much.

Let's give a 10 at In's expertise in deflecting potential uncomfortable situations, at least this once.

Okay Mol, we know you know and now they know it too (subtlety left the chat). On a serious note here we go again with her belittling Wang's feelings. Is this something new? No. Does it rub me the wrong way anyway? Heck yes.

If we took half a step toward moving from the past last episode then we took 10 steps back with this one.

I still stand by what I said last week about how every character is lonely in their own different way and I think I really hit the nail in the head that time.

Someone should remind Mol that even though Wang is her son, he's still his own person and he's not her property and as such he has a right to make his own choices which don't have anything to do with how much he loves her or not.

If I could give Wang a hug and tell him he's not a disappointment I would, lord knows i would. The pleading in his eyes, shit, that hurt. If anything, he's the one who should be disappointed in Mol cause for all her big talks of loving her son, well, she's not doing a very good job. As she likes to remind him, she may have given him privileges because of her fame and the money that come with it, but love? Does she actually love Wang for who he is, all the good and the 'bad' or does she only love her ideal version she has of him? I think they should have a conversation about the love she thinks she gave him and the love he needed her to give him.

'I may be young, I still have a lifetime ahead of me but how long do i have to wait? Do i have to wait until those people die so i can love who i love?' Don't touch me cause i might crumble, my emotional sanity is hanging by a thread at this point. He's so strong for staying true to his feelings and his identity, I love him so much.

When will In stop running away? Man, I'm so confused. I thought he was finally ready to be free and begin to move forward but now I'm not so sure. Old habits die hard, they say. It's frustrating, that's what it is.

The look in Wang's eyes when he looks at In is the same In had when he spoke about Siam and all I know is pain.

I am of the opinion that a conversation starting with 'do you have a minute' never bodes well and i'm not wrong. I hate everything about that conversation but I also feel it's very telling about Mol's character and the dynamics between her and In. I shed angry tears when she had the guts to ask him to give everything up for her, again, when there's nothing left he could give her and at the end of the day Wang is still her son, no one's gonna take that away from her also he never gave any sign he wanted to cut her off his life or did i miss something? Is she really so selfish to not realize she's setting up Wang for a lifetime of unhappiness? Doesn't she recognize what's happening again? Mol is entitled to her own feelings okay yes, but I can't with her. First she doubts Wang's feelings who's probably the one most in tune with his own feelings out of the three of them, then she says she wants to make him normal again? What does that even mean? Normal by her standards? I want to scream.

I don't think i know how to explain how bad i feel about the last five minutes of this episode, by now english is not englishing anymore and i'm just too wound up. The first time he's asking, no, he's begging be acknowledged he's let down by both of them because they're so obsessed with the ghost of his father they cannot see Wang who's standing in front of them baring it all for them, being vulnerable. Them walking away because they're not strong enough to face reality is probably the worst form of betrayal. In the end there's only loneliness, again.

[causethisismyblog]

Episode 4

One of my favorite things is Madi, and the fact that for some reason she chooses only to speak English. Yet, she does so in the middle of Swedish conversations so you know she understands and could speak it if she wanted to she just chooses not to. As an exchange student she would have to understand but you'd think she'd also try to speak Swedish, but no.

The lunchroom for the boys is right across the hall from the one for the girls. (For some reason I thought they were in different buildings. Don't ask me why.) So could they not hear the boys chanting and asking Wille to talk about Felice.

Are the girls required to put their hair up for meals? Is that a thing?

I'm really annoyed that Wille didn't run after Simon when he ran out of the lunchroom. He could see how hurt he looked. Why didn't he go after Simon? Or at the very least leave the lunch room if he was so put off by the fact that they were prying intp his private life.

I really hope Sara didn't send any of those photos to August.

The dodgeball *chef's kiss*. I just love the smug look on Simon's face when he hits Wilhelm.

Will we ever find out who Madi's secret admirer was? They even wrote the poem in English for her.

I absolutely adore the little group session the boys are having to write their poems to their crushes for the Valentine's dance. That they're reading them to each other and getting feedback on how to make them better. Just warms my heart 💜💜💜

Before Marcus shows up Simon sitting at the end of his bed listening to something and watching the fish. I'm wondering what he's thinking about. The fact that he's finally going to sing the song for Wille in front of Wille? If he'll know what it means. What will happen from there? Or is he just reminiscing thinking about when he and Wille were in his room talking about the fishes. He just looked so calm and content before Marcus walked in.

The absolute fear in Simon's eyes when Wille tells him he won't bother him anymore. I cannot believe that this is Omar's first acting job. There's so much in just his facial expressions and how we portrays Simon.

When Sara says she doesn't want to end up like Simon and Wilhelm. August tells Sara he is nothing like Wilhelm...as if Wilhelm was the only one to blame for everything that happened and the only reason Simon is so unhappy...I just wanna scream in his face...

Their kiss. So beautifully shown. I absolutely adore the smiles into the kiss. I have a whole separate post just on their kiss here.

Simon should've had some of the white face paint on his nose and mouth....The white paint didn't show much on Wille but with Simon's skin tone it definitely would've stood out... Just saying...

I was really expecting Marcus to just leave the ball when he realizes that Simon lied to him and instead went outside to see Wille. Just nope outta there...

I get chills listening to Simon sing his song for Wille. The sigh of relief Simon has when the song is over. It just says so much. Like finally Wille has been able to hear his song and how much Simon has been struggling with his feelings (although we know Wille didn't get the message). They are so giddy in this moment and I love it.

[theblogtini]

Genuinely curious to hear your take on that trailer? My biggest question after watching it was how much control did they actually have? Because early on she was leaking bout how much they had, how much they were going to air out again, how the royal family should be SO nervous for this. And it appears as though this was the case early on, they filmed private moments and gave intimate photographs but something about it screams that level of control was taken away at some point?

Did they have any control over when this trailer was released? because the timing is certainly a choice. One that is so blatantly obvious and they're (rightfully so) catching Alot of flack for it.

On the flip side a Christmas release day for the actual show? (1000% confirmation they aren't spending Christmas together as if that was even a question, to begin with) That screams to me that Netflix wants to bury this project because they don't have any faith in it. But they're catching ALOT of flack for this also because its the day after Catherines Christmas gathering is released.

SO if they didn't choose the timing of the trailer drop or the release date, did they have the ability to edit it at all? Or is the reason were randomly getting reconciliation rumors again, is because she knows a nuke is about to drop?

I don't think she had the amount of control she wanted. She viewed this from the start an extension of the cut interview and those first few podcast episodes where she was lowkey threatening the family. Alot has changed since september and I think they're freaking out how to move forward.

My thought is that based on her recent interviews their control was taken away at some point.

I think they’ve been filming pretty much the whole time they’ve been in the US but then we’re dragging their feet about putting anything together because they knew if they released anything it was a nail in the coffin. So then they tried to regroup on the project and sell it as “a love story” & it wasn’t working bc they didn’t have enough/any footage from the beginning of their relationship/marriage… and the clock was ticking.

So Netflix came in and was like “okay - this is going out by end of the year, we’re taking over” and that’s when Meghan started doing her backpedaling interviews about “it’s someone else’s lens” bc she didn’t (at the time) know what’s in it but she knew there was TONS of dramatic, insulting, pot stirring content for Netflix to pull from.

As far as the trailer release, and all of that, I think that was just strategic by Netflix. When they (Netflix) do reality shows it’s very common for them to only give a month or a couple of weeks (or even less) before the premiere date with their first trailer and I think they just honestly wanted it out by the end of the year.

Christmas day is it actually kind of popular time for like highly anticipated things to drop (big movies often drop on Christmas Day) because people are home they’re in front of the TV, especially Christmas night after festivities have ended, a lot of people are just kind of like cozy and relaxing.

But more than that I think that it was just a matter of trying to get it out before the end of the year. Probably for budget purposes. We had heard that The Sussexes wanted edits & to release next year & Netflix was like “nope.”

Dropping the trailer on a day when there was already a ton of Royal buzz I think it was absolutely strategic & pretty smart. They’re literally in the business of selling drama - so by dropping on Day 1 of Boston they were fueling that “us v them” flame even further. Plus able to get extra column inches bc the trailer drop was in its own articles plus like every article about Boston for the entire 3 days.

[mocacheezy]

Moca watches: TF Earthspark

🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗 🚗

(ep. 11 -14)

Ep. 11 - Hashtag: Oops

Hashtag pointing out that the barn is the only spot that has WiFi before running after Twitch made me chuckle. Nice to see the problems from the first first episode with Robby remains the same XD

Once again FOOD IN THE VEHICLE

I love the way the root mode changes, she looks so pretty!

The memes. *WHEEZE* ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, the HACKER VOICE I AM LAUGHING, SHE IS GREAT

NIGHTSHADE SWEETIE 😭 They did great they are so awesome just *screams*

The size difference between big sis Twitch, big bro Thrash and the other Terrans is just so cute and cool. Twitch is barely the size of Hashtag's torso 😭

I also expected Dot to freak out more over the altmode.

Also WHAT THE FUCK?!?! IS THAT STARSCREAM?! IS IT SOUNDWAVE?!?! Do these G.H.O.S.T. bitches not keep track over who got detained?!

I am pretty sure there would be BIG CAUSE FOR ALARM IF THEY SUDDENLY HAVE STARSCREAM JAILED WHEN THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SOUNDWAVE THERE

I am just really fucking confused like WHAT IS THIS?!?!????

Ep. 12 - Outtakes

The amount of second hand embarrasment. Camera footage is hell and I stand by that.

Also Jawbreaker is... So cute and so dense and just wants a straightforward answer

Still tho he didn't have to insult Bee like that (even if he didn't mean to). His social skills will require some work

I appreciate Hashtag's enhusiasm but the second hand embarrasment for Jawbreaker is killing me

Also I am p sure that camera is either getting broken by Megs, or Elita and he will escort these two back home.

Also Optimus avoiding cleaning duty is just hilarious and I love it

"EXCUSE ME? RESPECTED ELI-" NO I CANNOT LISTEN I CANNOT WATCH THIS I AM NOT GOING TO SURVIVE THIS, POOR JAWBREAKER

WE GET TO HEAR HOW MEGS GOT HIS ALTMODE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Were it not for the fact it would make him sad I would die for Jawbreaker.

Elita-1 had workout routines that are too intense for Optimus. I fucking love this.

T-Cog 101 : CLASSIFIED

"When I feel it in my spark you'll be the first to know"

I swear this show gieves me the warm fuzzies, like there really isn't a need to choose something right away. It's just such a nice message

Ep. 13 - Missed Connection

Nightshade is a mad scientist in making

YO TARANTULASSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Very different interaction than what I expected but honestly? I like it. I'm all here for Dad 2.0 Wheeljack and Science Uncle Tarantulas

ALSO NIGHTSHADE HAS AN ALTMODE NOW AND IT LOOKS SO COOL AAAAAAA

I also really adore the way Tarantulas is animated. His mouthpiece especially, and just movement in general is so cool

I ALSO adored the fact that I was waiting for a betrayal but there was none!

There was no "You foolish protoform I used you for my gain!". Nope, this spider is just tired and wants to live a different life. And he enjoys Nightshade's company and wants to protect them.

And he does end up protecting all of them!

Again, I did not expect this at all, but I enjoyed it immensly

Ep. 14 - Security Protocols

Twitch is so, so worried it breaks my heart

Breakdown and Bee were buddies

Breakdown SACRIFICED HIMSELF SO BEE COULD ESCAPE AND GO INTO HIDING

Also the two of them are like bros, like siblings and BREAKDOWN DID-

Goth dammit THE GUY WAS ON SCREEN FOR ONLY A FEW MOMENTS AND YET I HAVE SO MANY FEELS

And the reaction of the Malto family is just heartbreaking

[pardonmydelays]

GET TO KNOW ME

i was tagged by @poptart-cat-78 to answer some questions (thank you thank you) 🩷 there were two parts, but i decided to start a new post and combine them into one (cause i'm a mastermind).

PART ONE

are you named after anyone?: no, i don't think so. i have a cousin who is named after me tho.

when was the last time you cried?: yesterday? i cry every day so probably.

do you have kids?: nope and i don't think i will ever have them tbh.

do you use sarcasm a lot?: sometimes i think i use it too often. chandler bing is my spirit animal.

what's the first thing you notice about people?: i think it's their smile. or hair color. idk idk.

what's your eye color?: blue.

scary movies or happy endings?: ok look... i'm not saying i don't like happy endings, i love them, i really do. BUT. they make me forget about the movie/show/game too fast. i think sad/bittersweet endings are my thing. i want to be traumatized and think about it for the rest of my fucking life. scary movies are fine. i am choosing the secret third thing tho.

any special talents?: no, absolutely not. i am not talented in any way.

where were you born?: 🇵🇱.

what are your hobbies?: consuming any kind of media (music, tv shows, movies, video games etc etc) to find new obsessions, i also play ukulele a little and i like being annoying, i love collecting gifs in my phone.

have any pets?: no, but i would love to have cats and dogs (yes, plural).

what sports do you play/have played?: bold of you to assume i'm a sport person.

how tall are you?: 5'4 (not tall).

favourite subject in school?: english, cause i was pretty good at it (sometimes you have to learn foreign language in order to understand your favorite songs).

dream job?: no job at all. i just want to be in bed.

PART TWO

first ship: i think i already mentioned that in some other tag game, maddie and zack from the suite life of zack and cody (at least the first one i remember).

three ships: pb&j (pam and jim from the office because that's what i'm currently watching), i'm pretty sure claire and charlie from lost were also named peanut butter & jelly (because of reasons) so let's put them here because i suddenly miss lost, and let's say monica and chandler from friends because i would fucking die for them.

last (current) song: gracie abrams - right now.

last movie: star wars: episode III - revenge of the sith 💔

currently reading: posts on tumblr.

currently watching: the office/star wars/jimmy fallon (yes, i am watching all of this at once every day because it's a good distraction and i need to be distracted all the time).

currently consuming: i am drinking water at the moment (stay hydrated babes).

currently craving: a cheeseburger.

this was long but also fun. np tags: @meetmeatthemidnight, @tisthedamnseasns, @era-zona, @selcouthangel, @midnights-ts, @happinessforevermore. have fun guys 🩵🩵🩵

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - April

I am back 😊

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 27.04.2023

This may contain spoilers!

1. A Boss and A Babe (8/12 on Youtube)

I wasn't a big fan of ForceBook after watching Enchanté, but I really think it works in this drama. Cher is getting an internship at a gaming company. In his free time he runs an ASMR channel and the boss is a big fan of his voice (a thing I can't understand) and they start talking in the evenings so Gun, the boss, can finally manage to fall to sleep.

2. Bokura no Shokutaku aka Our Dining Table (4/10 on Gaga)

Hozumi Yutaka likes to cook and is good at it, but he can't eat infront of other people. Meeting Tane and his older brother Ueda Minoru his life seems to change and he may finally have found what his body and soul were longing for. A true comfort watch right now.

3. Happy Merry Ending (2/8 on Gaga)

As often with korean bls, this one is soooo short! Just 15 minutes per episode. But it was a good first epside. We meet SeungJun and JaeHyun and from the first moment we know that these two really find each other interesting. A wedding singer and a pianist. A wedding singer with social anxienty and trauma. I am invested!

4. My Story (2/10 on Youtube)

Every now and than I like to watch a pinoy-bl. The first episode was a mess and a bit boring, but I have a strong second-lead-syndrome! I love the secondary couple and they just slept together in one bed, but that was so cute! Looking forward to the next episodes!

5. Our Skyy 2 (2/16 on Youtube)

Can I be honest? The first story wasn't my thing. I enjoyed Never Let me Go, but this was not that good. Perhaps it was the time-travel-thing or some of the cringy dialogues...who knows. I am still looking forward to all the other episodes!

6. Step by Step (2/10 on Gaga)

Employee meets boss without knowing who he has met and crushes hard on him, just tells him what everyone thinks about the new boss and is just adorably clumsy infront of him. I like it a lot. I adore the friend group! I hope we get to see them support Pat a lot.

7. The Promise (7/10 on WeTV)

I like it. Are there cringy moments? Yes. Are there slapstick moments I can hardly deal with? Yes. Are there plotholes that bug me? Sure...but! I like it. I like Nan and Phu together and I love the slow burn and am I well entertained. I also enjoy little Party being the jealous king he is, who deeply care for Nan and if latter would choose him, i wouldn't be that angry!

8. Tin Tem Jai (8/10 on Gaga)

And we took 45 steps back and the show is kind of annoying like before...Park has no right to be this jealous...Just let Tin have a sweet first romance. You obviously can't give him what he needs or wants. Just let him date his senior...

9. Watashi to Otto to Otto no Kareshi aka Me, My Husband And My Husband's Boyfriend (4/10 on gaga)

Misaki is married to Yuuki. She nows something is off, because he doesn't really have interest in getting sexual with her. On the day before their wedding anniversary she sees him kissing a man infront of their home. It is her former student Shyuuhei, who also has a crush on her. Now they have to find a way to deal with everything. And I am on board!

10. Zenra Meshi aka Naked Dining - Love, Life and Liberation (2/12 on Gaga)

Everybody has their own way to release stress. Ichijo Futa eats naked. When he goes to his dead grandmother's house, he meets Miki Mahiro, who finds out about his eating preference. I don't know what will happen in those 12 episodes, but it is funny.

Finished in April

Series

1. Unintentional Love Story

I love this one and I will watch it again. The story is good, the acting is good too and I really liked the chemistry of the characters. It felt real and yes, I don't care about the dead-fish-kisses. Do I like them? Nope, but it doesn't smaller my joy of watching the show. I guess I just like series in general which deal with artsy stuff like pottery or books. It has quite a good vibe and a good portion of angst. Highly appreciated and recommended. A solid 9,5 out of 10 for me.

2. Bed Friend

This was a hard watch sometimes. Not just because Uea's life was really hard and full of trauma, but because he overcame his problems because he was loved by another person. Love can heal everything. That is something I don't believe and I can't tolerate in my media. Love can definitely help you, but not heal you. Uea needs help and not just the D. But this is fiction, I get it. 6 out of 10 for me.

3. Chains of Heart

This is one of the most visually stunning shows so far. Really beautiful shots and scenery. Therefor I love it. The plot was confusing in the beginning, but later on it got clearer. Mr. Lue/Din and Ken were my favorites. I loved their scenes together, especially episode 9. But the ending...I had really hoped for at least one talk between those two. Ken can be angry at him and tell him, what he needed to tell and Din could just explain himself and his actions. But no...just an open end where it is implied that they see each other again at the 7th of the 7th month...still not very happy with this ending, but I can make my peace with it...soon, I guess. Still 8 out of 10 for me.

4. The Eighth Sense

Perfection. I have nothing more to say. For me, this was one of the best I have seen so far. I have a soft spot for gay surfer dramas, so me liking this wasn't that surprising for me. But it was a really good series and I will rewatch it soon and often! 10 out of 10.

5. Destiny Seeker

This one gave me so many good, nostalgic feelings! It is such a college bl, but with a twist. And the twist is steaminess! Especially in the later episodes. Really good kisses. Besdes that I love a good enemies to lovers story and the lovers part was just so...cute! Just awww! A nice, short series, which didn't get the attention it deserves! It is a 9 out of 10 for me.

Short Film

The Summer Pasta Recipe

Hee Joon visits his ex-boyfriend Seon Woo. Together they prepare an italien pasta recipe and talk about the past and their relationship. Breakups can hurt and sometimes we need time to get over them and if we manage to look back and be okay with the past, perhaps we can hope for the other person not to forget us. In the end I feel kind of melancholic. 7 out of 10 for me.

2. S.A.M.

This is a UK production. GagaOOLala says this: "A tender exploration of love, sexuality and disability." And that is exactly what you can watch here. It is a quiet short film and shows us, that prejudices can't tell you shit about a person. 8,5 out of 10 for me.

Movie

Dropped/On Hold in April

Past Senger (7/12 on Gaga)

It just doesn't get any better. It's just boring and I don't like t that much. There are better things I can do with my time. Perhaps I'll binge it when all the episodes are out. We'll see. For now I don't want to deal with it anymore.

Looking Forward to in April (with MDL-Links)

Chul-soo (April 4th on Gaga)

Our Dining Table (April 6th on Gaga)

My Beautiful Man Eternal (April 7th / no international release date)

The Summer Pasta Recipe (April 11th on Gaga)

Naked Diner (April 14th on Gaga)

My Story (April 15th on Youtube)

A First Love Story (Finally back on Gaga on April 17th)

Step By Step (April 18th on Youtube and WeTV)

Our Skyy 2 (April 19th on Youtube)

Midnight Love (April 22nd on Youtube)

At The Moment (April 24th on Gaga)

Happy Merry Ending (April 27th)

La Pluie (April 29th on Youtube)