#not 100% sure i understood the first part but hope this answers your question!

[purpleturtle9000]

What's your opinion about the take that say:"all turtles in rise are mikeys and have same personalities"?also what you liked/disliked the most about they they ate written?

All turtles are Mikeys? I have no idea what that means, but hard disagree that they all have the same personalities. There's times where they're similar (they all love Jupiter Jim and Lou Jitsu movies, for example) but idk that you could live with someone your entire life and not have some things in common. Plus I think if characters are all 100% different, it would be so hard to find common ground that the plot wouldn't work.

Raph falling apart when he's alone and talking in third person, Mikey's interest in cooking and art, Leo's sense of humour and need to prove himself, Donnie's favourite music and tech knowledge - there's a lot of ways they differ from each other. They approach things differently and have interests that don't overlap! Like how Mikey is the only one to recognise Meat Sweats, and it seems like the others' knowledge of wrestling comes secondhand from Raph talking about it.

I love how autistic Donnie is in Rise, it's the thing that got me to watch it in the first place. I've always headcannoned him as autistic so it's really fantastic to see that being expanded on 'officially' and to see so many things about him that I recognise as The Tism. I also really love 'why would you guys need me if mystic powers can do everything I can do' and everything between him and Shelldon. Not to mention him and Leo putting the 'disaster' in disaster twins, and how affectionate he is with Mikey. Though I maintain it's a crime that he stopped wearing glasses as a kid cause Bayverse Donnie having glasses was my favourite part of his design (they're tortoiseshell do you get it they're tortoiseshell).

This is also the first time I've actually liked Leo? Other versions didn't really capture my interest, and I didn't really see much to him besides him being 'the leader' (though it's also been forever since I watched any of the other series so I'm probably forgetting a lot). I think not giving him the leadership role opened up a lot of avenues for development and characterisation that couldn't be there in versions where he was preoccupied with leadership. Totally normal about Mr Daddy Issues being the one most similar to Splinter. And the all the character development in the movie that blew me away. He has horrible puns, he's insecure, he's gay, he hates Jersey, he's a dad after a timeskip. What more do you need in a character, right?

Mikey's love for cooking is so near and dear to my heart. Also I really like that he's an optimistic character, and that does get him in trouble personally sometimes like in that moon truffle episode, but it doesn't screw up things for everyone else. I think the Draxum redemption thing was too rushed and made Mikey seem too innocent, but I vaguely remember seeing that a lot of content was cut from that arc? There's a couple times where he seems too careless, like yelling 'echo' in the library, but tbh it's nothing I wouldn't expect of a character his age. Also he had a hand in a lot of character changes, especially regarding Draxum and Donnie-and-Shelldon, and was the only reason the time travel and Leo's rescue happened in the movie, so like, there's a lot of power and knowledge at play there.

I love how excited Raph gets about wrestling and that bit about him mimicking the pirate accent from Jupiter Jim movies. Also him eating that salami paper is iconic, let the boy snack. Kinda wish we could've gotten more of a look at his anger issues and how that affected the team/family dynamics sometimes but I really love that it's still clear in canon that his anger doesn't make him love them any less, or make them afraid of him. It's wild that it's canon that he goes insane when he's left alone but that was never mentioned again after that one ep??? And I loathe how Raph had leadership taken away from him with a throwaway line, I'm gonna stay mad about it forever, thank you very much.

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Hey! Could I request a Janis Imiike (2024) x reader imagine where R is part of the plastics and Janis and reader are in a secret relationship but when Cady joins the Plastics she gets a crush on reader and Janis gets jealous?

If You Fall, I'll Be There

|| Janis Imi'ike x fem!reader

|| Warnings: secret relationship, jealousy, bit of one sided Cady x reader, very small mentions of death but no actual death (i hope this makes sense)

|| Summary: reader’s part of the plastics and is secretly dating Janis. Cady develops a crush on reader when she joins the group, Janis isn’t too happy with how close Cady gets to you and makes sure everyone knows it.

Requests open!

Started: May 28th

Finished: September 9th

~~~

You were a plastic in a relationship with Janis Imi'ike. Of course, no one knew about it. Besides Damian. If Regina ever found out, she would socially kill you. Maybe physically too.

So all your time with Janis was spent in secret, behind closed doors.

Whenever you went to her place, you'd even go as far as to make sure your location was off. The two of you haven't even gone on a proper date. The risk of it was too high. Not that Janis or even you minded, the both of you loved your little home dates. Damian would sometimes play waiter for the two of you and set up a romantic dinner in Janis' kitchen. The gesture was sweet, but you couldn't help feeling amused every time he did it. Especially when he would use his dramatized French accent.

The day Cady joined the plastics was definitely... interesting, of course Janis had told you all about her plan to take Regina down from the inside. She would have asked you to do it but thought it might be too risky; which you understood. So Cady was the spy. Besides, Janis didn’t want anything to happen to you in the crossfire. Though she would never be caught dead admitting that out loud.

The changes in Regina were subtle and none of you exactly noticed them at first as the three worked behind the scenes to bring her down. You had specifically requested to not have any part of it, they were fine with that. However, you did start to notice something going on with Cady. She had a different vibe around you that she didn’t have for the other girls in the group. She was always asking something of you. Whether it was questions to math (that you didn’t know the answers to, so you gave her fake answers to avoid giving her the awkward “I don’t know” response), she would always sit next to you at the plastics table; and as if the time you spent at school together wasn’t enough, she would constantly ask if you were busy after school. You always said yes. Truthfully, you usually were. If you weren’t busy with Janis (which was half of the time, probably more) you were busy with family stuff. Life after school was genuinely busy for you, much to Cady’s disappointment.

One morning, you were in French with Gretchen and Cady. The three of you always sat together, as much as you would rather be with Janis and Damian who were behind you. Cady sat on your right, seemingly confused with something as she nudged over her paper to you with a frown,” Hey. Y/N? Could you help me with this? I don’t know what it means.” You didn’t pick up on the fakeness in her tone.

With a sigh, you leaned over a little to get a better look at her sheet. You vaguely knew what the task was, though you weren’t 100% sure; “I think it’s saying to name three well known French cities, then explain what made them famous.” Yeah, that sounded right.

“Here, let me check.” Gretchen took the paper, you missed the slight annoyance in Cady’s eyes, and read it over in her head. Gretchen was pretty good with languages, at least from what you’d gathered. She looked at you with a smile,” Yeah! That’s basically the vibe.”

You nodded in thanks while Gretchen handed the paper back to Cady, who seemed reluctant almost to take it.

Janis had been watching the interaction, narrowing her eyes as she especially watched Cady and how she was behaving around you. Janis knew damn well that Cady knew what everything meant. What game was Cady playing at? Janis wasn’t sure, but she knew she didn’t like it. Whatever it was. She nudged Damian, who looked up from his phone.

“What?”

“Did you see that?” Janis asked, gesturing to the three.

Damian raised an eyebrow,” girl, what are you talking about?”

“Cady and Y/N.” Janis muttered, she hadn’t realized how tight the grip on her pencil was until she was accidentally snapping it in half. The sound of the snap brought her back to reality as she looked at it, then Cady, then Damian.

“Okay, in the words of Taylor Swift. You need to calm down. I’m just gonna take this…” He not so subtly reached for the now broken pencil (that Janis was holding much like a little shank in each hand) and tucked them away into the desk. “Plus, this is Y/N. That girl is like a personified golden retriever. She wouldn’t hurt you if the state of the world depended on it.”

“No, I know.” Janis flexed her fingers a bit, having not realized just how tight her grip on that poor pencil had been. “It isn’t Y/N I’m worried about.”

Janis would watch over the next week as Cady’s behaviour with you only seemed to get worse. Until one day, when everyone was in the cafeteria. Janis saw Cady playing with your hair (you tried telling her to stop and she wouldn’t listen) and she finally had enough.

She walked over to the plastics table.

You tensed a little when you saw her, wondering what she was going to do. Janis was unpredictable, which you loved about her but you also knew that meant she had a tendency to start trouble.

Regina noticed Janis and was visibly disgusted,” Ew. No. Why is it at our table?”

You wanted to glare at Regina for that comment, but you didn’t. Remembering you had to act as though you didn’t know who Janis was. You were a plastic, she was an art freak. But Janis’ gaze was on you and the look in her eyes was hard to ignore. The moment you tried to look away, Janis grabbed you by your chin (completely ignoring Regina’s comment and the confusion in everyone’s eyes) and kissed you.

Your eyes were wide, your body stilled for a moment as a gasp rang out throughout the cafeteria. Gretchen practically screamed.

Then, you kissed back. Standing from your table and pulling Janis flush against you.

Everything stood still.

In that moment, nothing mattered. Not your status, not the eyes of everyone, not the shock on Cady’s face and not the pure disgust in Regina’s eyes. You didn’t care. You had Janis. Janis was all that mattered. All that you felt.

And that’s the story of how you lost your social life. Did you care? Maybe part of you missed it. But you wouldn’t change how things played out even if you could. You could openly be with Janis now. Even if the results of that were your only friends being Janis and Damian. Does your girlfriend even count as a friend? If not, then your only friend was Damian.

Not that you minded. You found you fit in better here anyway than you ever did with the plastics.

[vioartemis]

I'll die with you (part 4)

(Tara Carpenter x fem! reader)

Summary: After Chad's death, you decided you had to do something. With Mindy and your mom's help, you come up with a plan to trapped Ghostface. Little do you know that the price to pay will be high... Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 Warnings: blood, death of character (I swear this time it's for the plot, don't kill me it hurts me too), angst a/n: I drew a little plan so you can see the location (even for I needed it at one point so...) hope you can read my handwriting lol (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

"We're safe now, right?" Lexi asked, breaking the silence

You didn't know how much you slept that night, but certainly not enough to talk about that right after waking up.

No one answered her question, only sharing a knowing look.

"With him we're never safe. Trust me, I know"

"But Damian's in jail!"

"Chances are there is more than one killer"

"Okay then, we just have to hide until the other one gets caught" Lexi shrugged her shoulders

"It's useless, he always finds us"

"... Maybe we could use it against him" everyone turned to look at you "We lure him, and we lock him up"

"It's risky, very risky" your mom warned

"It is, but it could work. We just need a bait..."

"And how do we decide who will be the bait? I don't want to be the bait" Lexi complained

"If we figure out Ghostface's next victim... we have our bait" Tara intervened

You all stayed silent a moment, trying to think of the next victim.

"... Do you really think he wanted to kill me that night? I mean- okay he stabbed be and everything, but if he really wanted to kill me, he just had to slit my throat, right? So why didn't he did that, to be 100% sure I would die?"

More silence. You took it as a sign to continue.

"What if... what if he had something against me - like Amber and Richie with Sam - and wanted to hurt me before killing me?"

"Why do you make it all about yourself? Chad doesn't have anything to do with you"

"We're friends since forever, he's very dear to me"

"Okay but what if you're wrong and it has nothing to do with you? And you surviving the attack was just pure luck? 'A painful death' isn't a term you usually use when you don't want to kill someone"

"Maybe he wants to make us believe that to muddy the waters. I don't know okay, I'm trying to figure out why this is happening"

"Yeah well, I your theory's wrong we could all die"

"At least I'm trying, me. You're not helpful at all, just being rude like that."

Tara placed a hand on your thigh to calm you down and kissed you.

"It's okay baby, she's not worth it, I know you're doing your best" she whispered against your lips

"To be honest, whatever we do, we have a chance to die" Gale started "I have an idea for the where. The how, however..."

She tried to explain what the inside of the building looked like, but none of you really understood so she drew a quick sketch of it. It was way easier to understand that way.

"Now as I said before, how we can trap him is another story"

"I think I know"

It was the first time Mindy spoke since you woke up. She looked determined to do everything in her power to avenger her brother.

"Give me a paper, I'll show you"

Your mom obeyed and gave the girl paper and a pencil. She started to draw, and a few minutes after, showed you her plan:

"Let me explain in details" she said, seeing your confused faces "So the doted lines are the retractable glass windows / walls. According to Gale we have to buttons here, and one here. Those two activate this wall, and this one activates the two others. Did I lost anyone?"

You all shook your heads. For now, it was pretty clear.

"Okay, good. Now this is the first floor, right? I think you said at the ground floor there was other glass walls? Okay we'll see that later, but that's where Sam, Lexi and I are gonna stay"

"Wait, I want to be with Tara too" Sam protested

"We can't have too many people at the same floor. Don't worry, Y/n will be there to protect her." Mindy turned back to her plan "So, Y/n and Tara are the bait, they're going to try to lure him at the first floor, so Gale will be able to trap him with the glass walls and separate him from the girls. The other wall is the safe escape."

She gave more details after that. It was a good plan, much better than anything you could've think of.

"Any questions? No? Great"

"Anyone wants a coffee before we put our life in danger?" Lexi sighed

You all nodded. A coffee wouldn't hurt after all.

"Okay, I'm gonna get them, I'll be right back"

<><><><> ♡ <><><><>

Now that you were there, you weren't so sure it was a good idea after all. What if it went wrong? What if Tara was hurt? You glanced over to your girlfriend. She seemed as nervous as you were.

"That's a bad idea, maybe we should-"

You were interrupted by your phone ringing in your pocket. You took it, hands shaking.

Probably: Damian Walker.

You looked at Tara and nodded, the signal for her to text the others to get ready. You picked up hesitantly.

"Hello?"

"Y/n, Y/n... It's a shame I didn't get you last time, really. For you I mean. If I had killed you... you wouldn't have had to watch her die before your eyes."

"O-oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

He hung up, leaving you even more nervous. Suddenly, a tall figure appeared. As expected he was here. Watching you from the other end of the corridor.

You back up slightly, taking Tara's hand to tell her it was going to be okay. Ghostface didn't move, he was just watching you, analyzing the building.

"We're here! Come and get us if you can, asshole!" you provoked him to make him follow you

He tilted his head to the side before taking a knife out of a pocket in his costume. And then he threw it in your direction, cutting your arm. You hissed in pain, putting your other hand on the wound.

He took a step forward then another one, faster, and in less than a second he was rushing towards you.

You started running, Tara by your side. She opened the stairwell's door and started climbing up the stairs, making sure Ghostface was still following you.

You kicked opened the door to the second floor and ran to the glass wall behind which your mother was, ready to push the button.

"Where is he?" she asked, voice muffled by the wall

"What?"

Out of breath, you turned around to look behind you. He was not here. When did he stop following you?

"Shit shit shit..." you mumbled, panicked, blood running down your arm

All of a sudden, Tara screamed.

"Gale!"

You turned around at the same time as your mother and felt your heart drop immediately. He was here. On the wrong side of the wall.

Your first reflex was to rush to the button to open the glass window. You pressed it, but nothing happened. You tried again, panic rising. Still nothing.

On the other side, Gale tried to press the button as well. It was not working. Ghostface tilted his head to the side. You knew he was smiling under his mask.

Tara tried to press the button too, but it was useless. You ran to the stairwell's door. Going back down and to the other side of the floor was the only available option now.

You tried to push it, but it didn't move. Not even an inch. Someone blocked it from outside.

"No no no no no... come on please..."

You kicked the door, threw yourself at it, in vain. Tara was fighting with the button desperately as Gale was fighting Ghostface with almost as much despair.

You took your phone and called Sam, covering your screen with blood. You started talking as soon as she picked up, voice shaking.

"Sam he's with my mom! We're stuck on the other side! You have to help her or she's gonna- she's gonna-"

"Fuck." you could hear her run with the others "We're here in a second" loud noises, as if they were hitting something "Y/n t-the door is locked... we can't- we can't-"

"Try to open it!"

You ran back to the glass window and hit the button, but it still wasn't working. You couldn't do anything.

You couldn't do anything while your mom was fighting for her life on the other side of this stupid wall. From where you were, you could see the stairwell's door shaking. The others were trying hard to open it.

You watched in horror as Ghostface stabbed Gale in the leg, in the stomach, in the arm. She was fighting back as strongly as she could, but she was no match.

You were desperately trying to make the button work, even if you knew it wouldn't.

He threw her to the ground, but she kicked him off her and stood up with difficulty, going in your direction. She didn't see him behind her. She couldn't do anything when he grabbed her by the shoulders and sunk his knife in her chest.

She tried to fight his grip, but she weakened with every passing second.

You had abandoned the button and were now hitting the glass window in hope to break it, screaming her name, but only managed to stain it with your blood.

He looked at you in the eye, challenging you, before taking the knife out of your mom's chest and dragging it to her throat.

"No..." you backed away from the window, tears in your eyes "Please don't..."

He nodded slowly. Yes. I'm gonna do it. And you can't save her.

She knew. She knew she was going to die. You could see it in her eyes.

"I love you, I'm sorry" she mouthed to you

You watched, helpless, as he pressed the knife against the flesh of her throat, slicing it opened. Your heart shattered.

The scream that left your throat as you fell on your knees was heart wrenching.

[Previous part] || [Next part]

[laurenairay]

gotta trust how you feel inside - J. Skinner

Summary: Jeff Skinner had never met anyone like Cameron Marlow before. Turns out, he had a lot to learn.

A story of accepting someone for who they are, as well as accepting yourself.

This is my entry for @wyattjohnston​’s summer fic exchange 2k23, for @nhl-stories​! I decided to do something a little different than I’ve ever done before, based off of your prompts and answers to my questions, so I really hope you like this. I researched so many articles and blog posts and videos on coming out and acceptance and all the different ways people have felt and reacted in their own journeys, so I really hope I did Cam’s story justice. Also heavily inspired by Mae Martin and their wonderful self!

Warnings: angst, slow burn, friends to lovers, fear of coming out as non-binary, change of pronouns part-way through.

Words: 4.8k

Title from Green Eyes by Arlo Parks.

Thank you to @tippedbykreider​ for being a wonderful beta reader!

Some of these folks wanna make you cry, But you gotta trust how you feel inside, And shine, and shi-ine, yeah, yeah, yeah.

~

“Jeff! Pizza or tacos?”

“Tacos please!”

“On it!”

Jeff smiled to himself as his neighbour Cameron disappeared from her balcony, back into the apartment below his. Their Friday night tradition of take-out and movies – whenever he was in town, that was – was something he treasured. Most of his teammates over 30 years old had a wife and kids at home for their Friday nights, but not Jeff. Maybe it was something that bothered him a lot when he was younger, not having someone to come back home to like everyone else seemed to, but since he’d been traded to Buffalo, it was something he was learning to let go of. There were plenty of other things in his life, plenty of other people, to fill what society deemed him missing, and he appreciated all of them. Loved all of them.

Cameron Marlow included.

She had been a breath of fresh air when he’d first moved into their shared apartment building back in summer 2018. Single, like he was, and only a year younger, so at least he didn’t feel completely out of place. And she was an introvert much like he was slowly growing into, meaning he didn’t have to put on a fake extroverted energy all the time, didn’t have to be ‘on’ 100%. The two of them bonded over just wanting someone to hang out with sometimes, someone who wouldn’t judge a depleted social battery. He knew that her work was intense, that she was damn good at her job too, and that the hyper-focus she had to have on all the time during her workdays left her pretty drained by the time she got home, much like hockey sometimes left him socially inept, so he appreciated having her as a friend he could just be himself with.

It didn’t hurt that she was blonde, blue-eyed, and completely & utterly beautiful. But that wasn’t something he wanted to think about right now. Cameron was so out of his league it wasn’t funny. Her intense corporate work aside, she was so interesting as a person that he barely felt like he could keep up. She was part of a book club, reading fiction about all kinds of different topics that he barely understood, leaving him feeling like more of a dumbass every time he attempted to follow along. She always volunteered during Pride month at the parade, making sure teenagers felt safe and secure and hopeful. She introduced him to plays and movies and poetry readings that he never would’ve thought of going to. He tried to keep up with her, loving the time they spent together too much not to, and it always seemed like she appreciated it anyway.

At least her dating life was as much of a disaster as his was. That was always something he could console himself with. Her type seemed to be tall blonde beefcakes, typical douchey gym bros, and every time a series of dates ended with the two of them eating ice-cream on one of their sofas, Jeff felt their friendship bond grow just that little bit more. He knew that his friendship with her was one of the best and closest and most genuine friendships he’d ever had, and over the past five years he’d grown to cherish it over anything else.

Cameron Marlow was in his life to stay, and there was nothing he ever wanted to change about that.

“Alright, tacos should be here in 30 minutes. Do you have beer?”

“Of course, I’m not a heathen,” Jeff scoffed.

Cameron just laughed, blonde waves swinging over her shoulder as she shut his apartment door behind her. She was dressed similar to him, tank top and sweatpants with fluffy socks, and she wasted no time in pulling her hair back in a messy bun after passing him a beer and sitting down next to him on his oversized sofa.

By the time their tacos arrived – Jeff went down to the lobby to pick them up, of course – Cameron had all but sunk into the sofa, all tension disappearing from her body. It was a good look for her, to be honest, peaceful and relaxed and content. And the fact that it was in his apartment that she was able to feel this way? Well, that meant everything to him.

However, by the time they’d finished eating, Cameron had flicked through her phone a few times, and a frown had grown on her face, her body a line of stiff tension again. He didn’t think it was because of him – he knew he hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary to her – but it still concerned him all the same.

“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind,” Jeff said, “Want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know if you’d want to hear it?”

Jeff found himself frowning as he shook his head. Why would he not want to hear what she had to say?

“I always want to hear what you have to say? Why would I not?”

Cameron seemed to hesitate for a moment, eyes filled with something that he couldn’t read. Despite their five years of friendship, there was still so much he didn’t know about her, he knew that much. But why would she think he wouldn’t want to know what was bothering her?

“It’s just…okay, so you know I’m part of a book club, right?” Cameron blurted.

“Yes.”

He didn’t have a clue where this was going, but he was just going to roll with it. The book club met every other Sunday, he knew that much.

“Well we’re reading I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver, and naturally the conversation turned political,” Cameron started.

“As it would, sure,” Jeff nodded.

He didn’t know if it would be rude to pull out his phone to google what the book was about while she was talking, so he just decided to wait to see if she would explain.

“And like, a few of the group can relate to the main character Ben’s struggle, right? Coming out as non-binary to his parents only to be immediately kicked out of the house, so the topic was pretty personal for some of my friends…”

So that was what the book was about. Huh. He could only imagine how difficult that kind of situation would be. And Cameron said it had also happened to some of her friends? Damn.

“…and with the political climate right now, things just got so heated. As it would.”

“As it would,” Jeff agreed.

Well, not that he actually knew much about the political climate around gender. It was gender she was talking about, right?

“Gender is always an emotionally difficult topic,” he said, hedging his bet.

“Exactly!” she nodded.

Oh good, he’d gotten it right.

“The discussion is still bothering you though?” he prompted, eyes flicking to the phone she’d put down on the coffee table.

“Well, yeah, because New York still has so far to go in terms of making things equal for non-binary people. Like, shit, it took until late 2021 for driving licenses to get non-binary options on, and even now official government departments might not have options for all forms until 2024!”

“That seems unfairly restrictive?” Jeff said, frowning.

“It is! And of course, it’s started so many debates and discussions from hate groups and just generally horrible people about whether any of it should even be allowed. Like, what the fuck? All these absolute fuck-up debates about non-binary recognition, how non-binary people are basically invisible, it makes me so mad! How is it okay that a tiny group of people decide that I don’t exist?”

As she wound herself up angrier and angrier, Jeff froze slightly at Cameron’s words. That I don’t exist.

I.

Not they.

Cameron was talking about herself.

No, if Cameron was talking about herself then that would mean she was non-binary…

Whatever was showing on his face made Cameron stop in confusion, before absolute horror flooded her expression.

“I mean, I, heh-”

Cameron cut herself off with a whimper, eyes desperately darting around like she was looking around for an exit from his apartment, and in that moment, Jeff’s heart broke a little. Cameron was trying to get away from him, because she was scared of his reaction. Scared of him. That was the last thing he ever wanted.

Jeff swallowed heavily, before smiling lightly. “I can’t imagine you ever being invisible. No-one should ever make you feel that way.”

The tears that filled Cameron’s eyes caused Jeff to panic slightly. Had he said the wrong thing? Had he ruined their friendship? Had he ruined…everything else?

“Fuck. Fuck, that wasn’t how I ever wanted it to come out,” Cameron murmured, “You don’t hate me?”

The last few whispered words broke his heart all over again. Jeff quickly shook his head as he put his beer down, taking Cameron’s hands in his.

“I could never hate you. I may not understand much about what you’re going through. Like, as a non-binary person. But I could never hate you, okay? You’re still Cameron to me,” Jeff said firmly.

Because it was true.

He might not know much about what it meant to be non-binary, or understand Cameron’s struggles, but the fact that she was scared he would hate her said all that he needed to know. Cameron was still his friend, still the same person he’d always known – he just knew a little more now, that was all, right?

Cameron bit her bottom lip for a moment, seeming to hesitate about something, so Jeff just squeezed her hands reassuringly.

“Actually, I prefer just Cam,” Cameron said.

“Okay. Okay, Cam it is,” Jeff nodded.

“And they/them pronouns,” Cameron added.

Cam.

They/Them.

Cam. They/Them.

He could absolutely do that.

“Cam. They/Them. Got it,” Jeff said firmly, still smiling.

Cam seemed to hesitate for a moment again, looking confused now.

“Just like that? You have no questions or reluctance or anything?” Cam asked, frowning.

“Well, no? Not really? I mean, you know yourself better than I do, right? So if you tell me that you won’t be using she/her any more then that’s not my choice? It’s you and how you are in yourself. It’s only right that I follow what you need,” Jeff said, frowning in response, “Is that not okay? I know I’ve probably been getting things wrong for years now, but I’ll do better?”

Cam laughed softly in disbelief, shaking their head.

“Of course it’s okay. And it’s only been a couple of years really but that’s because I purposely didn’t tell you. Haven’t really told many people, if I’m being honest. I just…I wasn’t expecting you to just accept it straight away? Like, you’re a hockey player right, and…”

“And hockey players have a reputation of being homophobic assholes? There’s a few prominent names popping out lately, yeah. But that’s not me. My older sisters played hockey on women’s teams while we were growing up and there were a few lesbians out and proud with their friends, so it’s not like I haven’t been around the LGBTQ+ community? And I know that non-binary is your gender, not anything with your sexuality, but what I mean is that I’m not that kind of asshole?” Jeff explained, “I might be a dumbass hockey player most the time but I’m not that full stereotype.”

“No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have painted you with that brush. I’m sorry,” Cam said, wincing.

“It’s okay. No, really it is. I get that you have to expect the worst from people and I hate that you have to, but you don’t have to with me, okay? I’ve got a lot to learn, I know that. So much. But you don’t have to be scared or nervous around me. I promise,” Jeff said, smiling.

Cam smiled shakily, nodding their head, finally losing a bit of tension in their shoulders.

“Thank you. I just…thank you,”

“I accept you for who you are, Cam Marlow. Exactly how you are,” Jeff said firmly.

Cam choked out a sob, hand flying up to cover their mouth, and it was all Jeff could do to let go of their hands and open his arms wide. Cam wasted no time in flinging themselves forward into his body, letting Jeff hug them as they cried into the crook of his neck. Jeff felt tears sting at his own eyes, but he just held them tight, rubbing their back to reassure them.

Everything would change from here, he knew that. But he wasn’t going anywhere.

*

Skinner Siblings

Jeff: A friend of mine recently came out to me as non-binary. Obviously I support them and I'm so proud of them but I haven't got a clue where to start to understand it all better? I just want to be a good friend.

Andrea: Firstly, congrats to your friend. I won't ask who because that's none of my business. Secondly, do you want some resources?

Jeff: Yeah I won't say their name because they haven't said I could. But yes please to resources!

Erica: Good start on using their correct pronouns Jeffy.

Jeff: I'm trying. It's literally the least I can do.

Erica: More than a lot of people would! Just as a tip, more than anything else, follow whatever your friend says is right for them. And if you mess up, correct yourself and move on. You are a good friend, even just by wanting to learn.

Jillian: Love you Jeffy. Proud of you!

Andrea: I’m proud of you too. I found a bunch of resources for definitions and reading material and even blog posts. Let me email you.

*

“Sex is what you’re assigned at birth, based on bodily characteristics. Gender can be completely separate from the sex you’ve been assigned at birth. That’s the best thing about gender: it’s free, flexible and completely yours to decide.”

“A recent Stonewall study found that 31% of nonbinary people have experienced hate crime as a result of their gender identity.”

“60% of Americans have at least heard about gender-neutral pronouns, many people may still be kind of unsure of what to say or do. According to the survey results, 52% of Americans report that they would be somewhat or very comfortable using gender-neutral pronouns with someone they know. But 47% said that they would be somewhat or very uncomfortable doing so.”

“A common misconception is that all non-binary identities sit somewhere in the middle of male and female, and that if you’re non-binary you’ll fit neatly into a box labelled ‘androgynous’. But this really isn’t the case – and one of the most liberating things about being non-binary is that there are no set rules around how you express or experience your gender.”

Jeff’s head spun as he read through all the resources that his sister Andrea sent over to him. There was so much new information to digest, and yet still not enough somehow. Sure, GLAAD was a great place to start for definitions, but he knew there was still so much further for him to go.

Baby steps though, right?

If Cam could take things step by step, so could he.

One of the first things that Jeff did was to add his pronouns to his twitter and Instagram bios. A simple he/him. It wasn’t much, but it was a start – and at least hopefully, if anyone asked him (not that he expected they would), then he could start a positive conversation about pronouns and representation. It was, quite literally, the least he could do. It was also likely that Cam would never notice either, but if they did then he wanted them to know that this was another way he could support them – it was important that everyone and anyone could use the pronouns they knew were correct for themselves, he knew that now. So if he could show people that with his level of publicity then he absolutely would.

He had to use his privilege for something good, right?

In the weeks following Cam’s accidental non-binary announcement, aside from his own research journey, it seemed like a new side of Cam’s life opened that he’d never been privy to before. Sure, he’d liked and treasured the time that the two of them spent alone over the past five years, but now it seemed like they were comfortable enough to let him into a whole new level. He wasn’t entitled to it in the slightest, he knew that, so he made that they knew exactly how much he appreciated these new steps they were taking.

Cam also opened up more to him about their discovery journey. About how they had felt just ever-so-slightly wrong in their body for so long, not understanding why until they stumbled across an LGBTQ+ poetry slam one night not long after he had moved into their apartment building, not knowing what to do about how they felt until a few years ago. Cam had insisted that they hadn’t kept things separate from him maliciously – it was more of a case that they had still been figuring it out for themselves while they were getting to know him too, and part of their process had been compartmentalising. He wasn’t mad. He literally had no right to be, but he genuinely wasn’t mad. The fact that they finally felt comfortable enough with him and within themselves to take down those barriers? That was all that he cared about.

They had even introduced him openly to a few of their friends. Jeff hadn’t understood the side-eyes and the smirks or even the money exchanged between a couple of the group, but he finally in on the jokes about Cam being a social disaster, finally able to have them smiling at him like he was in on the secret. He was part of a whole new world – one that confused him heavily sometimes, but one that he appreciated being able to be within – and he loved that his friendship with Cam had only grown from strength to strength with each new thing he learned about them.

None of that changed how their smile still gave him butterflies.

*

“You cut your hair.”

That was the first thing that came out of his mouth when Cam opened the front door of their apartment. It had been only a little over a month since their unintentional coming out, but it seemed like each day Cam was a little more settled in their skin, and it made Jeff feel so happy that he got to be part of that. Their hair though – that was a big change.

“I…did. Is it bad?” Cam asked, a little nervous.

Cam’s hair had previously been down to their waist, naturally tousled and dirty blonde. But now…now it was short. Super short. A pixie cut, maybe? At least that’s what he remembered from one of his sister’s magazines. A white-blonde pixie cut. Huh.

“Not bad. Like, at all. It really suits you,” Jeff said firmly, as he walked past them into their apartment.

“You’re not just saying that?” Cam asked hopefully.

“I’m a really bad liar, you know that,” Jeff shrugged, smiling a little sheepishly as Cam laughed, “And I wouldn’t lie to you about this. It’s different, sure. But it feels like you.”

Cam exhaled shakily, shoulders losing a little tension as they nodded. “That’s what I thought. That it feels like me, more than anything else ever has.”

Jeff hesitated slightly as some of the reading he’d done came back to him, before he took a deep breath to steel himself.

“Was this a gender dysphoria thing? Is there still anything else you want to do to feel more comfortable in your body?” he asked.

Cam’s eyes widened slightly before they smiled fondly at him. “You really have done your reading, haven’t you?”

“I just…wanted to be a good friend,” Jeff said, feeling a little awkward.

Was he not meant to have tried to learn more? Did Cam not want that?

“Oh Jeff, you are one of the best friends a person could ever ask for,” Cam said, shaking their head as they smiled, letting Jeff breathe a little sigh of relief.

“You deserve it,” Jeff shrugged.

Interestingly, Cam blushed a little, before they laughed softly, moving to pull some coffee mugs out of the kitchen cupboard.

“Right, to answer your questions. The hair was kind of a gender dysphoria thing? My long hair just felt so feminine, and that obviously isn’t me anymore. Or maybe was never me? I don’t know, I’m still figuring out how I feel about it. In terms of anything else…I’m not trans. I don’t want to transition from female to male, because I genuinely don’t feel like either of them. That isn’t my journey. I’ve been dressing pretty androgynously for a few years so that covers most of what I feel like I need? And it’s not like my boobs are particularly big anyway so I can just wear a tighter tank top if I have days where they are a trigger,” Cam explained.

Jeff’s eyes dropped to their chest before he could even stop himself, and he felt his cheeks flare in horror at his reaction as he quickly looked back up to their face. What was wrong with him? Why would he…bleurgh.

Cam politely ignored his reaction, their mouth quirking in a slight smile.

“Periods might be an issue I’ll have to face at some point, but that’s something I’ll deal with as I get to it,” they shrugged.

He’d heard all the horrors of periods over the years from his sisters, so while he wasn’t quite desensitised, he didn’t grimace.

“There’s birth control you can go on to stop them for a few years though, right? Like, the implant or the coil?” Jeff said, tilting his head, “That’s always an option.”

Cam’s eyes widened slightly again, before they shook their head. “You are a gem, Jeff Skinner. Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.”

Jeff found his cheeks heating up again, but he just smiled, shrugging. It’s not like he was looking for a gold star for being a half-decent human being after all.

Cam finally finished making their coffees, sliding Jeff’s over the counter to him while they sat down on the stool opposite.

“Oh, here, I got you something,” Jeff said, reaching into his bag, “It’s a little lame now that I think about it, but I already bought it so here we go.”

“This is…a cupcake?”

“A coming out cupcake. In your colours,” Jeff nodded, smiling.

White, yellow, purple and black swirled icing on a vanilla cupcake, the colours of the non-binary flag, from a tiny LGBTQ+ friendly bakery that he’d found in the city. The day he’d ordered it, he remembered the tiny smile that cracked on the terrifying butch woman’s face behind the counter, probably because he’d been rambling about wanting to celebrate and support Cam. He’d tried to find a date in the last month that felt right, but with Cam still settling into themselves publicly combined with his travelling schedule, it had taken longer than he wanted. But when he’d picked it up this morning he felt good about it. It might only be a silly little thing, but Cam loved cupcakes, right? So it felt good just to show Cam a little appreciation.

“This might be the sweetest thing ever. My god, Jeff. Why?”

“You deserve something nice? To mark this new chapter? The world is full of terrifying things that happen to people when they come out as non-binary. I’ve read some really awful blog posts about people whose lives were turned upside down just for being brave enough to be themselves. And I know you’re going to have to keep coming out over and over and over again even in just the tiniest of ways, so this is just me saying that I see you and I appreciate you.”

“Damn it Jeff, you’re going to make me cry again,” Cam

“Sorry?” he offered.

Cam just laughed, shaking their head as tears sprung to their eyes.

“I just hope that coming out to my parents will be as smooth as coming out to you was,” Cam said softly.

“You aren’t out to your parents?”

“No,” Cam murmured, shaking their head, “I’m so nervous.”

“Hey, no, don’t be, okay? Your parents love you,” Jeff said, frowning.

“You know just as well as I do how badly parents can react. It’s such an unknown reaction. And it’s not like they would’ve had any kind of idea that this is how I felt about myself over the past few years, right? No build up or lead in that they would have to prepare themselves,” Cam sighed.

They were right. Jeff had read the blog posts, the articles, the statistics. He hated that Cam had to go through this, but it wasn’t his place to pretend that everything was going to be a-okay.

“All you can do is be honest with them. That’s literally it,” Jeff said softly.

“I’m 30 years old, I shouldn’t be this scared to tell my parents who I really am,” they said, laughing a little dryly.

“It’s a natural reaction, Cam. From what I understand anyway. You love them – they’re your parents. You don’t want to lose them, it makes sense. But you also wouldn’t be doing yourself justice in not living your truth,” Jeff said, smiling sadly, “I’m here for you, no matter what happens, okay?”

They nodded, sniffing slightly. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve everything and more. Never let anyone tell you differently,” Jeff said fiercely.

Cam choked out a laugh, blinking away their tears as they nodded again.

“Alright, if Jeff Skinner says it, then it must be true,” they said, wry smile on their face.

Jeff just grinned, making them laugh properly this time. He couldn’t bear the thought of them feeling like they didn’t deserve the whole world. Even if it wasn’t him that was able to give it to them, he still wanted them to be happy. That was all that mattered, right?

Then Cam’s smile slid into something a little more serious. A little more earnest. Jeff finished his coffee, sliding the cup to the side as he waited for them to collect their thoughts, knowing they would speak when they were ready.

“You make me want to be brave,” Cam said softly.

Well that was the last thing he expected. Those sweet simple words made his whole chest warm with happiness. He made them want to be brave? They were already so brave all on their own.

“Me?” Jeff asked, surprised.

But Cam just nodded, glancing over at him with their big blue eyes as they bit their bottom lip, and the look in their eyes made his heart start beating a little faster. Oh. Oh. Him?

“Me? Really?” he asked, a little breathless.

“Yeah, Jeff. Who else?” Cam said, cheeks flushing lightly.

Jeff inhaled sharply, reaching his hand across the kitchen counter to rest on theirs, his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he felt like it would fly out. Was this what his sisters meant when they’d described how it felt when they fell in love? Was he finally getting his chance to love someone too? When Cam clutched his hand back, smiling back at him so sweetly and shyly, he knew he had his answer. This was Cam – his heart had fallen for them a long time ago.

“You make me want to be brave too.”

He knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. He knew that the two of them would face so many questions, so much scrutiny, and most likely so much hatred. But what Jeff knew most of all was that he wanted to try. Cam was worth that. Cam was worth everything.

*

“Hey Cap, do you mind if I bring my partner Cam to the end of season barbecue?”

“Cameron? Your neighbour? Of course bud, glad the two of you finally got your shit together. How is she?”

“They.”

“What?”

“They. Not she. And it’s Cam, not Cameron.”

“Huh. Okay, good to know. Do you want me to say anything to the guys?”

“No, I’m just going to introduce them as they are. If anyone is shitty, I’ll deal with it.”

“Alright bud, but let me know if you want any help. You’re not alone, okay? Either of you. I look forward to meeting Cam. And Jeff? I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks. And, uh, thanks.”

“Any time.”

Baby steps.

[scarfacemarston]

Abigail Marston HC’s Part 1

I’ll slowly be posting my roleplaying questions I used to do in rp server. I have probably 100+ questions that I did.  It was a good time and I’d love people to ask more! I will put all of these under the #askabigail tag. : D Trigger warning for this set: canon child loss.  1.What did they think their life was going to look like? Abigail wanted to be a singer or an actress. She thought she could have snagged a handsome wealthy person pretty easily, but she'd actually prefer true love. (and if the person's wealthy, even better.) She always hope she’d  travel around the U.S. Sure, she would have loved exploring outside of the U.S., but Abigail knew that a girl like her would probably never be able to travel like that.  2. What skill would they like to learn? I think we know the answer if we follow canon. She wishes she could cook because she loves gatherings with family and friends, but that pales in comparison with her desire to read. She’s embarrassed and ashamed that she hasn’t been able to. She simply never picked up more than a few words and she never understood why. Books would have been a great chance for her to explore other worlds and more importantly, learn. 3. What does your character think of children? We know about Jack, so I’ll write about the Marston daughter. John had to beg and plead. She didn’t want to go through it because of how risky it was, especially since they were older. But then she thought about how nice it would be to start over, dress her up and decorate the room. Plus. Seeing John with baby fever was something else.  I head canon that she loved her daughter, but she wasn’t as close as John was to her. I HC she had post partum depression both times. There never has to be a reason, but she was essentially alone the first time, and the second time, she was similarly lonely with no one but Uncle, Jack and John, but she was thankful to have them. Still, depression doesn’t care about circumstances. She was devastated when their daughter died, but I think she would have had to stay strong for the rest of the family, especially since she saw her fellow sex workers deal with the loss of children. 4. How do they sleep? What is their relationship with sleep?  She loves to sleep on her side, preferably spooning her partner. We see this in Rdr. : ) Abigail never had a true home to herself, but her father rented a small room for them in a hard part of town. Her mother died giving birth to her, so it was only she and her father Henry. She was raised to ignore the noises around them - the shouting, the banging, the knocking, the laughing, etc. She was terrified to live in the orphanage. It changed depending on who was in charge. When she arrived, it was chaotic, loud and unclean until the church ladies took over. Then, it was silence, but the strictness of the nuns terrified her and she slept worse with them. Later on, sleep as a sex worker was also difficult. She had to work in shifts at all hours of the day or night and she had a roommate until she was able to acquire her own shabby room. It was the same noise she was always used to with except with added moaning. She slept the best she ever had when she arrived in camp with Uncle. It was literally a breath of fresh air and despite sleeping outside, she felt “clean” for the first time. She loved the stars and the night air --- and later sleeping near John. When she became pregnant? Forget sleep. After Jack’s birth? The same. When we see her in the game? Forget sleep - but she did try a little harder since we see she goes to bed early, but is one of the earliest to rise. Being on the run after the gang fell was similarly difficult, but she enjoyed Pronghorn ranch --- when she wasn’t worried about John. Beecher’s Hope - She slept moderately well when John was home, but still worried about if they would have enough to eat or if they would lose any more cattle - but it was still the best sleep she had in years, even with the Marston baby. I hc this was months before RDR 1. She never slept as well ever again before her passing. 5.  What is your character’s relationship with their parents? Abigail never knew her mother Adelle as she passed giving birth to her in canon and abandoned her family in the modern au. Her father was a kindly wood worker who died when she was around eight. Her family was always destitute due to her father’s unfortunate luck with repaying loans. They were poor in money, but rich in love. Abigail had to fend for herself  during the day as her father worked himself to the bone. Abigail was always musically gifted   Her father provided for her the best he could and taught her a few basics of music, but he passed when she was seven  This is when she was sent to the orphanage / placed in the foster care program in the modern au. 

[tarotmundomonde]

Hello! Hopefully I do everything right, I had to open tumblr on two devices so I could remember everything haha.

My initials are J.W. and my sun sign is leo. Since I'm asking one of the questions that requires it, my moon sign is taurus and my venus is cancer.

My request is for option #2 (romance reading in the next 5 months for singles).

I don't really have a great reason as to why you should do it for me, my reason is mostly that I'll be incredibly grateful, and I'm also 100% willing to leave feedback, and tend to usually leave detailed feedback (especially for longer readings), if feedback is something you're looking for. I chose this option because it's just a topic I'm currently interested in learning for myself as I've started to take a lot of time recently for improving myself, and I want to confirm some thoughts I already have about what the possibilities could be. I recently had a rough time with a connection (about two or so months ago), and even though it hurts a bit still, I'm hopeful for the future. Also, there will be a lot of changes in my coming future, so I'm curious as to what love situations will entail for this point.

Here is the romantic gif that I believe would resonate with you:

I don't know who these people are (lol) but i think this is something your future partner will do (or something your current partner does), a lot of sweet nose kisses.

As for the color, for some reason Yellow by Coldplay started playing in my head, so I'm going to go with yellow. I'm kind of doing this part intuitively but I think rather the emotions & words that go with the song + the color yellow in general really apply to your...essence? "Look how they shine for you, and all the things you do.", I think this relates to how helpful your readings have been overall, especially for me. You're like a strong hand leading someone through a storm, a shining light (much like how light leads things through situations all the time, like the glow of the moon guiding sea turtles, the north star guiding travelers, the lighthouse calling sailors home). I hope this makes sense, it's difficult to explain what I mean. But hey, even your gif is yellow/warm toned, I don't sense you really being a cool tone at all.

Anyways, this is all. Hopefully, I did this all right. I do highly enjoy your readings, I'm not sure why I'm not following yet, but I will follow after sending this. Thank you so much for offering your time and energy, and I hope my time & energy suffices ♡

Thank you for letting me know. This is such a beautiful compliment ♡ and I'm happy to hear you enjoy my readings 😊

NOTE: This reading counts from today to the next 5 months.

Hello JW, let's dive into your reading, shall we? At first glance, it looks like the next five months in love will get pretty intense for you. Arrivals of tests and lessons. Maybe literally an ex of some kind coming back around or a repeated situation. When looking at the cards, the first impression is that there are some lessons you've successfully learned but as they may have been quite challenging ones, there are still some left to be learned from the past situation. And also, maybe it's like you understood the idea of the lesson but not fully grasped it, not fully comprehended it. Because you'll be tested by temptation and fears. It looks like one huge lesson is absolutely about not lowering your standards and about patterns. And then you are also tested, when it comes to perception and perspectives. Let's go deeper into the details of your reading. It's no wonder you have forgiveness in the cards and ripple effects. In the moment it might feel like a fleeting situation but it's actually a crucial detail. Small parts which form the bigger picture. The next five months in love for you seems to be a lot about the meaning of true love. You are called to dive in deep to seek the answers and to find them. You are asked, what do you seek in love? What are your dreams vs the decisions you make in love. Are you going against the flow or with the flow? Are you grounded enough to feel the love's pulse? Again something about patterns and the pace, the rhythm of events occuring in your love life and of the actions taken and the behaviour of the other person. It feels like you need to pay more attention to the fine details, for example to body language. And to be honest with yourself, if the timing feels off, for example if something is happening too soon, things like that. It's important for you to take your power back and to be in your power. And there is also a reference to sipping some coffee and just enjoying the moment. To stay calm and just wait and see what happens. To create your own little sanctuary, your own space. You have so many messages about love coming through in your reading. First of all, everyone has their own love story. Although, you may be able to learn a thing or two from other people, everyone has their own unique love story. What makes someone else happy, might not be what makes you happy in love. It's very important to find your own voice in matters of love. There is a focus on the complete picture and on transparency in love. Take things as they are, at face value, let people reveal their true colours to you.

Secondly, you have a strong theme of passion, lust and fervor, of falling in love, of love and of euphoric love and what it is to share love. You might literally fall in love and fast and it's so passionate and euphoric, but you can't quite put your finger on it. It's simply love. You have themes and lessons to learn about kindness and compassion and respect and reverence in love. That love is simple and there are no conditionings. You are at the end of a cycle and beginning of a new cycle in love. Some tough lessons to learn, especially about healthy boundaries. Again the theme of simplicity in love shining through. But it seems prosperity in love is on the horizon for you. But it's gonna really be about shifting your focus. About seeing the blessings in disguise. There is something you need to see, then you can avoid the old traps and being stuck. You also have a message about creativity. Perhaps you need to tap more into your creativity, focus on more positive dreams in love and having more faith in love. Nonetheless, it looks like the next five months in love will be a very significant time in regards to your love life. You do have the keys to open the door to euphoric love.

ps. feedback is always appreciated~

[billconrad]

Why I write

    Writing fiction is supposed to be fun. An author can do anything. Write about a big space adventure? Sure! How about a crime drama set in the old west? No problem, knock yourself out. But what about writing fiction for money? Well, it’s still supposed to be fun because you can write about anything. One would imagine it’s like being a race car driver and being paid to have fun racing around a track. It’s the same thing. You pen something up, and then people, ohh and ahh over your fantastic words. Then somebody sends you a check. Simple. Right? That was supposed to be my motivation…

    I began writing with the goal of profit for a seemingly unlikely reason. They laid me off. Sunstrand (Pratt and Whitney, a division of UTC) dissolved their San Diego location. I could see what was going to happen long before my coworkers suspected there was a problem. The company was in such poor shape that I sent my resume out six weeks after I started working there. There were rumors and all kinds of plans to keep the place going. In the end, I worked there for two years. The work was good. I made several friends.

    After they laid me off, I began working part-time for a medical product development company. This work was sparse, and there was little money, but it kept me sane. For many years, I had several stories I wanted to write and thought about them often. One day when I was not working, I wrote up my best three ideas. I had great hope that these three books would lead to instant cash. Unfortunately, I was naïve about how publishing worked.

    It was time to publish my three ideas, and I started with my first one, Interviewing Immortality. My first step was to have my mother edit them. She has a lot of English talent, and this helped me immensely.

    After I did a beta edit, I was ready to make a profit. At that time, I had written three books, and surely one would be popular. Obviously, the Internet would provide a simple path to profit. Just send the Microsoft Word document off to hundreds of publishers. One of them would like it, and they would send me a big fat check. There is probably a website that will do all of this! Instant payday!!!

    Well, sending your book off to publishers no longer works that way. In fact, it never worked that way, but it is a delightful dream. The reality was that publishers “do not accept unrepresented manuscripts.” (Hey, quick author’s tip. Publishers call your book a manuscript. It makes them sound sophisticated.) Getting someone to represent your work is expensive and nearly impossible. Then, after somehow getting a book represented, they want at least 20% of your profit.

    It was pure luck that I got connected with a self-publisher helper who convinced me to try self-publishing on Amazon. The problem was that I had to use my money to get the ball rolling. And again, I thought that after this simple self-publishing step, the fat checks would magically appear. I quickly learned that Amazon self-publishing does not work that way. A smart individual like myself would probably have done some background research on self-publishing.

    So, I had a book on Amazon and needed to get the word out. In my natural state, I’m a quiet person. I didn’t have a Facebook account or other online presence. (Well, a few patents… But that is another painful story.) But, I quickly understood and began building my outward personality. There were ~100 sites for promoting books, and I found ~30 free sites. That was a start, but there was no solid audience connection.

    I had always wanted to start a blog. This seemed like a fun thing to do. When I signed up for Goodreads, there was a blog section. This seemed like a good idea, and I decided to give it a stab. Hopefully, people will enjoy my ramblings and want to learn more. BUY MY BOOK!! ITS LIKE THIS BLOG BUT MUCH BETTER!!!

    But this still does not answer the blog title question. Why do I write? I find ideas easy, and I can quickly write them up. For the moment, I also have the time.

    Do I get any joy out of the process? That is a more complex answer. How cool was it when I did an internet search and came up with my name as an author? The answer was: so-so. There was also not much joy in telling my friends about my book. I wrote for two years, and they did not know what I was doing until I showed them a copy. One friend shook my hand, which was a nice gesture.

    The true answer to this question comes from a strange place. After I have written a book, I self-edit many times. Tighten a sentence, add a concept, clarify, delete, and re-arrange. Each time I go through my book, I experience the story again. It may sound strange, but I feel happy while editing. The story is familiar, and I know entirely what is happening within the words. I can fully picture what the character is doing and feeling. There is a comfort level to the editing process. Similar to putting on shoes that you have had for a long time. They fit, they work, they get you to where you are going, and I know for an absolute fact that they will protect my feet.

    There was an unexpected end to this warm feeling. I had to let the book fly out of the nest at some point. The edits had to stop, and I braced myself for the reaction. Will they like it? Will they hate it? In my case, I have had mostly positive feedback with my book, Interviewing Immortality. (Hey, quick author’s tip. Mention your book a lot. Repetition leads to sales.) The real issue is getting others interested and then having them tell their friends.

    Well, there you have it. I like to re-read my work, and that’s probably the strangest answer for why a person wants to write. It makes me wonder if other writers get joy out of self-editing. I read an interview in high school about an author who loved their characters. I thought this was weird at the time, but I recently thought a lot about this statement, and it now makes more sense. I have an attachment to the characters I create, but I would not use the word, “love.” A better word is “relate.”

    This is a strange way to end my first blog entry. With some luck, there will be many more blogs to follow. One last thing. BUY MY BOOK. Seriously, not having full-time work is killing me. I need the money! Spending $2.99 will really help. Putting a review online will help me out even more.

    You’re the best -Bill

    February 22, 2023

[kazuharem]

“Polar Lights” ↠ Childe [FLUFF]

"We'll find a love to hold our hand through the cold"

Characters: Childe x GN!Reader (You)

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3,153

Warnings: Childe's newest voice lines + teapot lines, brief mentions of alcohol, sappy gushy goodness, somewhat unedited

A/N: Nothing in my brain except for Childe brainrot. This is my thanks for the man coming home to me twice three times and his bow -> definitely 100% self-indulgent. Published @ 8am

Special thanks to @tartagilicious for coming up with this prompt and brainrotting with me

Reblogs are much appreciated! 🙏🏼

"Forelsket” - Norwegian, (n.); the euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

The weather outside's changing The leaves are buried under six inches of white

A blast of air hits your face, cold enough to make your skin feel like it’s peeling off, and you shudder, retreating deep within your scarf. The shallow breaths you take comes out in a thick, white fog as you survey your surroundings.

“I don’t see how this place has anything of value that’s in Zhongli’s interests,” you grumble to no one in particular. Nothing save for the howling wind answers you and your teeth rattle in your skull. You curse the ex-Archon as you trudge through the barren wintry landscape. It was he, after all, who had sent you on this absurd commission to find some sort of legendary mist flower.

“I cannot cross into the Tsarista’s lands, that would be trespassing,” Zhongli says, calm as ever, as he brings a teacup to his lips. The picture-perfect image of elegance. “But you are an adventurer, you can travel there.”

Thus, you find yourself in Snezhnaya, bemoaning your fate. He hadn’t left you with nothing, however. Tucked in your pocket was a map drawn by the man with directions. Now, if only you could get somewhere warm so you can look at the actual map is the real question.

You couldn’t entirely blame Zhongli though. It had been him who suggested the commission, but you were the one who agreed. It wasn’t a completely innocent idea when you offered to help Zhongli. After all, Snezhnaya is the home of a certain red-headed Harbinger, whom you’ve been missing just a little too much.

What? A voice pipes up, indignant.

You shake your head, “Stay on mission,” you mumble, trying to distract yourself. You press onward against the painful bite of the wind.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Childe sets down a letter, eyebrows drawing together in confusion. Azure eyes scan the contents again, hoping for some sort of clarity. None comes, of course, as the letter remains unchanged.

Everything in the letter made sense except for the last line.

“Do make sure to be on the lookout for any strangers in search of mist flowers.”

He understood all parts of the sentence separately, but when put together, made absolutely no sense.

“Has becoming mortal addled his brain?” Childe sighs. “Why speak in tongues when you can speak normally?”

He cast a quick glance at the window where brilliant reds and blues were starting to seep into inky purples, and he stands. Deciphering the letter could wait. Right now, going home was more important. He had made promises to his siblings, after all.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You curse as the ice beneath your feet crack. Before you could move away however, the ground disappears. Your legs pass cleanly through the hole and your body lurches forward. Everything settles, making the world fall into silence once more. Sighing, you plant your arms in front of you and push.

“What the-” You try again only to meet with the same results. “No…” Your eyes widen in horror as you struggle futilely, but the ice and snow refuse to let your legs go. You were, hopelessly and irrevocably, stuck. “Of course, just my luck,” a laugh of disbelief escapes you. Okay, stay calm, you assess your surroundings, looking for anything that could help you out of this situation. Already, you could feel the prickly sensation from the cold, a sure sign that you’ve spent too long in this weather. Any longer and it would be dangerous.

Oh gods, you were going to die in the middle of this vast tundra, with no one coming to save you. Why did you take this commission? You idiot. You were going to die-

“Hey, need some help?” A voice calls out amidst your panic, and your head whips towards the source.

A tall, redheaded man stands before you, and you gasp, “Childe?” The name, rusty from disuse, sounds foreign in your ears. It had been a long while since the name had last passed through your lips.

Sapphire eyes widen in surprise, before a spark of recognition alights in them. “Comrade?”

“What are you doing here-” Both of you say at the same time, and Childe bursts into laughter. The sound ignites something within you as your heart clenches.

“It’s been a long time,” Childe says, and you don’t want to think about the way your heart races when your name falls from his lips. “You’re getting bolder. Never thought I’d actually see you in Snezhnaya.”

“What do you mean?” You blurt out, “You were the one talking about bringing me here and then you disappeared!”

Childe places his hand over his chest in mock hurt, “Hey now, all this time apart and this is the greeting I get?”

You cross your arms, trying to muster whatever dignity you had left, as you glare up at him, “Are you going to help me or not?”

A grin unfurls and you know you were never going to hear the end of it. “Now this is an interesting turn of events, you requiring my assistance.”

“Just hurry up, will you?” You mutter, “My legs are going numb.”

Childe pretends to ponder things over, “But what do I get for being such a gentleman?” He snaps his fingers, “Ah, I know! Let’s have a rematch. I’ve gotten much stronger and I’m sure you have as well.”

“Seriously?”

He widens his eyes comically, “You’re not going to reject me, are you? Oh, don’t be so cruel, you know how strong I am!” He puts his hands together as if he’s begging.

“Fine,” you give in with a sigh, “Can you help me now?”

The cheeky grin spreads as he saunters over to you, “Heh, now we’re talking!” Childe hooks his hands under your armpits. “We call this, ‘invisible snow,’” he explains, “Often these catch small animals, boars, and now you.” The smirk on his face is maddening, but in the next minute, you feel yourself gently being hoisted up. “There,” Childe sets you down, wearing a smug expression. You’re about to take a step, but your legs crumple under you. “Whoa!” He catches you in time, and your cheeks burn at the proximity of his face to yours.

“I think I was down there for too long,” you admit shakily, placing your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself.

“You know, if you missed me, you could’ve just said so!” He teases, but his hands don’t leave your waist. “Hm, what should I do? Should I carry you on my back?”

You smack him in the chest, “Don’t be absurd!” It was then that you realize you were still in his arms, and your face heats up once more.

Unrestrained laughter sounds in your ears, and you gaze up to see Childe smiling widely, aqua eyes almost sparkling with innocent joy. An answering grin pops up on your own face, unbeknownst to your knowledge. “It’s nice seeing you like this, Comrade,” Childe finally says once he’s calmed down. “I have to admit, I did miss your presence. Things weren’t nearly this exciting before you arrived.”

You ignore the way your heart leaps at his admission, “I missed you too,” you mumble, “Only a little, though.”

“Just a little, huh?” Childe sounds smug.

“Why did you come back to Snezhnaya?” You look past him, eyes landing far away.

“Were you worried about me?” He asks instead, smiling from ear to ear. You pay him no heed, despite the pink flushing your ears. A chuckle rumbles from his chest, “Well if you were worried about me, I’m flattered!” He tugs you closer, throwing you both under his coat, “Enough reminiscing before we freeze. Come on, let’s go.”

You allow yourself to be tugged along, Childe’s arm is wrapped securely around you. His coat smells like him, peppermint with a hint of the ocean. It’s familiar and it’s a scent you’ve missed dearly. You had last inhaled this scent months ago, when you and Childe were picking starconches from the Yaoguang Shoals, without a care in the world. The weather was vastly different from the harsh environment you were in now, but even as the two of you head off into the cold, you didn’t feel any of it.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“Brother! You’re home!” A flurry of excited voices ring out as Childe opens the gate to a very homey-looking cottage.

Childe finally lets you go as red-headed children barrel into him. One of them gasp when they see you.

“Traveler!”

You kneel to greet the little boy, “Hey Teucer, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“You’re finally here!” Teucer exclaims, hugging you tight, “You kept your promise!”

“Of course, otherwise you’d throw me on the ice, right?” You wiggle your pinky at him, and he beams, hooking his pinky with yours.

Childe watches the two of you, a fond smile on his face as he herds the rest of his siblings around you. “This is Tonia,” he nudges a little girl peeking between his legs, “And that’s Anton,” gesturing at a bigger boy who was watching you curiously. “Everyone, this is the traveler, finally here in Snezhnaya.” He introduces you to his siblings with a flourish.

“Brother talks about you often,” Tonia says shyly, “His letters mention you a lot.”

“Is that so?” You look over at Childe. The tips of his ears turn red, although you weren’t sure if it was due to the cold or embarrassment. “All good things, I hope?”

“Did you really fight a dragon?” Anton demands before Tonia could respond. You nod and the boy proceeds to launch into a flurry of questions. “Did you fight Brother? Are you really as strong as he says? Who’s stronger? Who won?”

“Oh?” You grin smugly, “Who did your brother say won the fight?”

Childe coughs, “Okay! That’s enough questions, did you guys remember what’s the plan tonight?”

“The colors!” Teucer cheers.

“That’s right! We have to get ready or else we’ll miss them,” Childe ushers them gently towards the door, “So let’s pack our things for the hike!”

“Colors?” You ask as you pass him to cross the threshold, relishing in the burst of warm air gratefully.

Childe smiles and you swear that you see a glimmer of joy in his usual dull eyes. “You came at an opportune time, Comrade. The Northern Lights are rumored to be quite the sight this year, and forecasts say it’s especially beautiful tonight. You’re in for a treat.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

The hike up the mountain wasn’t nearly as cold as your lonely trek earlier. Childe’s siblings would run ahead, chattering eagerly before doubling back to make sure Childe and you were following dutifully. Occasionally, Childe would remind them to be careful.

“They’re great,” you smile at the sight of Tonia leading Teucer by the hand while Anton kicked up piles of powdery snow. “Very cute.”

Childe glances at you before turning his attention back to his siblings, and nods absentmindedly in agreement, “They really are, I’m quite proud of them.” You hum in reply as you shiver, hugging your arms close to you in an attempt to keep warm. “Cold?” Childe asks, sounding amused.

“Hey,” you exhale a cloud of white, “I’m not used to this, you know.”

“We’re here!” Teucer runs to you, grabbing your hand as he leads you away from Childe. You follow him helplessly while Childe laughs. “We’re here!”

“Come on, Teucer, we have to set up everything first!” Childe calls.

The little boy pouts and you lean down to whisper in his ear conspiratorially, “Tell you what, Teucer, if we help your brother, it’ll go much faster, and then we can play!”

Teucer brightens at your suggestion, before practically pulling you back to Childe, “What do we do?”

Under Childe’s guidance, a simple yet cozy camp gets set up in no time. A portable furnace in the middle kept the bite of the wind away, while a ring of tents was erected around it. By the time the camp was constructed, the sun had completely set, throwing everything into shadows. The children had taken to playing with each other at the edge of camp, while you and Childe kept a careful eye on them from one of the tents.

Something heavy drapes over you, and you look up just in time to see Childe cover you with his jacket before settling down next to you. “Wouldn’t want you to freeze,” he teases as he fiddles with something in his pocket.

“Not freezing would be good,” you agree, “So what are we waiting for?”

“You can’t force the Lights. They’ll come when they do,” he explains, producing a flask. “In the meantime, care to try a Snezhnayan tradition?” He offers you the flask.

You examine it cautiously before returning it to him, “What is it?”

Childe unscrews the top, and holds it out for your inspection, “Fire-Water,” he proclaims, “In Snezhnaya, we say that if a friend will join you outside in the bitter cold to drink Fire-Water and chat together, you know they’re the kind of person you want with you on the battlefield. So, Comrade, are you someone I want with me on the battlefield?”

“That depends, are you someone I want with me on the battlefield?” You counter his question.

He smiles at that, “Come now, you and I are hardly strangers. Why not have a drink and chat under the stars?”

Why not indeed?

His offer is tempting, and you take the flask from his proffered hand, “Well then, comrade, I look forward to winning battles with you by my side.” You take an experimental sip and almost immediately, you feel as though you just downed liquid fire. Befitting of the name, you suppose. You’re able to keep it down despite your throat burning and hand the flask back to him.

Childe smiles approvingly as he slots his lips over the opening. Entranced, you watch the bobble of his throat when he swallows, and you try not to squirm at the fact that the two of you had just shared something touched by both of your mouths. “Well?” He asks, wiping at his mouth, while you do your best not to stare at the movement.

“It’s…strong,” you manage to say, your voice raspy. “So now, are we truly comrades?”

Childe throws his head as he laughs, seeming carefree, “There’s no one else I’d rather have by my side in battle than you,” he admits once he’s quietened down.

There is a warm feeling spreading throughout your entire being at his words. It sinks into your veins, and you chase after it, utterly addicted. You’re not sure if it was due to the alcohol or just being in the presence of the man whom you’ve missed for so long.

“It’s starting!” Teucer calls out excitedly as he points to the sky. Both you and Childe turn your attention heavenward, and you gasp softly.

Stop the clocks, it's amazing You should see the way the light dances off your head A million colours of hazel, golden and red

What was once an inky sky slowly morphed into soft streaks of greens and blues with a splattering of glittering stars, as if someone had taken a paintbrush and carelessly dragged it across the sky. Childe watches the way your face glows under the gentle light, and tears his gaze away, his hand unknowingly curling into a fist by his side. It was then that you turn to look at your red-headed companion, studying how the shadows and lights play across his face, throwing his face into a mix of sharp angles. Childe keeps his eyes trained on the sky, swallowing hard. The sounds of his siblings fade into the distance. It feels as if it was only the two of you.

This is a new dimension This is a level where we're losing track of time I'm holding nothing against it, except you and I

“Childe…” You whisper, feeling oddly emboldened by something, it compels you to say something, anything. And you do.

“Did you know I thought about you every day since you left?” Your admission is hushed, not wanting to break the captivating bubble that surrounds you both.

Childe’s head swivels to meet your gaze and you inhale at the expression on his face. There is a glimmer in his cerulean eyes. Uncertainty maybe, and something else. Hope.

“I…I think I’m in love with you…”

We were love drunk, waiting on a miracle Tryna find ourselves in the winter snow So alone in love like the world had disappeared

Childe moves then, as he leans closer to you. “You’re…like the stars in night sky, Comrade, you never cease to surprise me.” There is a little laugh. “All this time, I’ve been trying to control myself, trying to not let myself reveal my closest secret and yet…you manage to undo all of that with just a simple confession. You’ve beaten me once more… Must you defeat me at every turn?”

Fire ignites in your lungs, in your veins. You’re not breathing, trying to process his words, and he continues.

“I suppose I should concede my defeat,” he sighs. He is so close that you feel the puff of air land on your face and your lips part unknowingly. His eyes follow the movement, and you hear him swallow. A warm thumb lands on the corner of your mouth with the softest pressure as his hand cradles your chin with care. His finger swipes across your parted lips like the wings of a butterfly dancing. “If what you said was true, then say my name,” he commands, transfixed at the way you were looking at him, like he is the only light in your world. “Say my name and I’ll admit my defeat.”

Before you could even think about his name, it was already floating past your lips.

“Ajax…”

There is a sharp inhale and then something else replaces Childe’s thumb. Childe kisses you like he was afraid you were going to break, like you were going to shatter this wondrous dream. He kisses you as if you were his most treasured possession, the only thing he was willing to submit to.

The air is bitterly cold, but you don’t feel any of it. Childe murmurs another confession against your lips.

“There’s no one else I’d lose to.”

I won't be silent and I won't let go I will hold on tighter 'til the afterglow And we'll burn so bright 'til the darkness softly clears

End.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Bonus:

“Do you think our friend has successfully reached Snezhnaya?” Zhongli asks thoughtfully as he turns a page of a book. He pauses to take a sip from a steaming cup.

“Mr. Zhongli,” Hu Tao sighs, “I think you should leave the matchmaking to someone else.”

“Hm? I quite liked my plan. The map was a nice touch, wasn’t it?”

Fin.

End Note: I don’t want children, but there’s something about Childe and kids that’s just-sigh *lipbite*. Grace, I’m sorry there was no blood and violence or someone on the verge of death - it’s all fluff (◔◡◔✿)

Tagging:

@tartagilicious, @wisteriea, @urujiako, @ohmykazuha​ (Jia, idk which blog you wanted me to tag, so I hope you don’t mind that I tagged both! ♡)

If you would like to be on the taglist for my future works, please send an ask or a message my way! 💖

Upcoming works:

➳ Halloween Diluc fic in collaboration with @tartagilicious​

➳ Part 2 of Childe Angst (Part 1: Hiraeth)

➳ “Jar of Stars” 2 part fic with Diluc and Kaeya (separate)

➳ Kazuha Soulmate AU + Reincarnation

Also, please don’t be afraid to be mutuals with me! I’m looking for more friends!

For more of my works: 📖

[blindbeta]

I have a question! Thank you for existing I deeply appreciate it. I was wondering if it is possible for a blind person to be able to read by learning the shape of raised letters, rather than braille. I ask because I have a situation in which it is reasonable that the blind character would know this, if possible, and the person they are travelling with is completely illiterate.I thought it might be interesting if the seeing character could describe the letters, or find a way to texture them so the blind character could tell them what something says. I have done a great deal of research for this character, but this is the one part I can't find a clear answer for. Thank you very much.

Good question, nonnie.

The short answer is, maybe? It would depend on the time period and location of your characters.

Since you want both characters to read, I’ll assume this culture has a formal writing system in place and values written communication.

A Brief History

In order to address this, allow me to offer a brief history of Braille. Because what you’re describing is exactly what happened in France before Braille was invented. This informative video summarizes it pretty well. Here is the text version of the video. The video mentions the embossed letter or raised type method of reading that was used at the time. It was difficult to read and the letters had to be very large in order to be understood, making it harder to read words and sentences. Reading must have been very slow.

According to this page on the National Braille Press website, reading this way required slowly tracing raised print letters. To write, one had to memorize the shapes and try to create them on paper, although they could not read the results.

Creating books was even more difficult. According to this page, [quote] “teacher Valentin Haüy made books with raised letters by soaking paper in water, pressing it into a form and allowing it to dry. Books made using this method were enormous and heavy, and the process was so time-consuming that l'Institution Royale des Jeunes Aveugles, or the Royal Institution for Blind Youth, had fewer than 100 of them when Louis Braille was a student there.” [End quote]

Braille books are already notorious for taking up several volumes. Large print books are only a little better. Textbooks used in schools take up several shelves to translate one print textbook.

Individual use and traveling with these things must have been impossible for the everyday person, even if you were a student.

Also, in this video by blind YouTuber Molly Burke, at the 9:05 time-stamp she answers the question: why don’t we raise print letters for blind people? She explains that it took too long to read and is not as efficient as Braille.

In the interest of time, I’ll try to keep this brief. The transition from the raised print letters to Braille was not a smooth one.

In 1826, first embossed letters published in English was James Gall’s triangular alphabet. Read about it and other systems here.

Another source says Gall’s writing system was introduced in 1831. The system did not gain much popularity outside of Endinburgh.

According to this page: [quote] “In 1832 The Society of Arts for Scotland held a competition for the best embossed type. There were 15 entries but Edmund Fry’s alphabetical system of roman capitals triumphed. Shortly afterwards John Alston began printing at the Glasgow Asylum for the Blind using a slightly modified version of Fry’s design. “Alston type” proved popular and inspired similar forms across Europe and North America.” [end quote]

None of these really caught on outside of certain areas.

In 1821, Charles Barbier was invited to the Royal National Institute For Blind Youth in Paris to demonstrate his Night Writing invention, which was developed for soldiers to read in the dark. It was too difficult to read and so was not used by soldiers, nor did it end up being used by the blind schools. However, a young Louis Braille was in the audience and was inspired.

In 1825, Braille thought he had figured out a good system of writing.

In 1829, he published the first Braille alphabet.

1834 - Braille is invited to Exposition of Industry in Paris, which extended the popularity of the Braille system.

1846- a school for the blind in Amsterdam starts using Braille’s system.

In 1852, Louis Braille dies.

1854- Royal National Institute For Blind Youth officially adopt Braille as official system after fighting it for years.

Because Braille didn’t take hold as quickly in Britain, the British and Foreign Blind Association, all of whom were blind, voted in 1870. They decided Braille was the best system. Braille quickly fell into use all over the world with the exception of the United States. By 1882, the embossed letter system was over.

In the U.S, from 1868-1918, the New York Point system was used. American Braille (developed by a blind teacher named Joel W. Smith) was also used from 1878 to 1918, when the U.S switched the standardized English Braille.

Would Your Character Know Raised Type?

Remember how I said you might be able to do this depending on the time period and place?

If you have French characters, you can used the raised type method as you described in your ask if the story takes place before, probably, 1825. It would be reasonable for your character to know the raised type method if they had attended a blind school before the Braille method was adopted in 1854. Between roughly 1829 and 1854, the French blind character attending school would know about the Braille system and probably complain about their school not teaching it despite Braille himself teaching there.

Similarly, they could used raised type depending on where the story is set, when the character attended school, and what system was in place at the time. If the story is a fantasy, you could make up a history similar to what I described above, although it would be important to have schools for the blind and have Braille or the equivalent be created by a blind character.

Remember that your blind character needs to learn the raised type method if you want them to use it.

If Braille would be available in real life (such as a more modern setting), I would prefer a blind character use Braille instead. Which is why I tried to offer alternatives that were historically justified.

I don’t feel very comfortable with a blind character having to use a raised type method rather than another system, because Braille literacy is declining nowadays and something about learning a raised type method over Braille (or other system, depending on where you set the story and what they were using at the time) doesn’t sit right with me. Your character doesn’t have to use Braille specifically, but I would rather they use the system that is available to blind people at that time. For example, if your story is set in the United States, it would be fine to use American Braille or the New York Point, depending on the time period.

If your story is modern, blind people can usually read raised print letters on signs, such as for the bathroom. In fact, a lot of people who can’t read Braille get by this way. However, keep in mind that we have screen-readers and audiobooks now. People aren’t reading entire texts or even many words with this method.

As for other countries, I tried my best to research what places, such as Japan, used before Braille. For several reasons, including the European-centric search results that keep coming up over and over again, finding the correct information is proving difficult. In some cases, previous methods may have unfortunately been lost due to colonization. It is important that we acknowledge that.

I feel that it would be easier to leave the research up to you since you know where you want to set your story and your own personal background, historical knowledge, etc.

Keep in mind that not all blind people in the world had access to formal education, depending on the place, time, their social class, etc. If you want your blind character to know how to read, you’ll need to find or create a setting that allows for it.

Generally, I would prefer blind characters use methods designed for blind people, whatever that happens to be in that time or culture. Prioritizing the other characters’ needs and having a blind character learn raised type over Braille when Braille actually exists in the story doesn’t work for me.

Like always, I suggest having more than one blind character in the story to avoid tokenism. Also, since your character is going to teach another character, be sure to show your blind character’s needs and goals as well.

I hope this helps. Feel free to message me or send another ask. I am not a historian and so if anyone wants to correct anything, such as dates, or provide any relevant knowledge, please feel free. I tried my best with this question. I would be grateful for help if anyone has more information!

-BlindBeta

[athena-simpingforanimemen]

Something to Consider

Chapter One | Sometime In 2007

Chapters| One Two Three Four Five

Synopsis| Having a special technique that hasn’t been passed down in over a 100 years, you’ve been amongst the strongest since birth but with no clan of your own to clam this technique. It causes the Clans to offer arranged marriages left and right. Overwhelmed parents turn to your aunt's clan and the Zenin’s are happy to step in, in hopes you will pass down the technique down to them.

Whole story contains themes| arranged marriage, angst, violence, death, swearing? sexual harassments(nothing crazy) and of course SMUT. 

Authors note| This is about the road to marrying Gojo, it’s gonna be long and filled with angst because I'm mean. This story starts with the reader being around 11ish. Has a little bit of manga spoilers from vol.8 because it has Toji. Hope you like it. This is written for my two whore best friends. :)

Sitting in the back of a black sedan, the rain and some random talk radio station playing softly. The sounds of the rain on the roof made you sleepy. You let out a sigh, pressing your head against the window, watching as the water droplets race. You had just gotten out of school when you heard your mothers fussing through the thick wood of the front door. Not even getting the chance to greet her, she was already on you about changing into something nice; tossing clothes around in a hurry. Your father on the other hand was calm, casually chatting with you while your mother rushed around in a tizzy.

You didn’t have the time to ask what this was about or why you needed to hurry before your mother pushed you into the car with Suzuki. Suzuki was your personal driver and bodyguard appointed by the Zenin clan. She was always so kind and patient, putting up with your snappy comments and pre-teen attitude. Even when you were being difficult she never got upset with you. You never understood why she was appointed to such a low grade job. She was incredibly strong. What was all the fuss about you and your technique anyway?

Suzuki taking you to the Zenin Estate after school was a common occurrence, usually it was for training but today it seemed more important than just that. You were your parents' prized possession because the Zenin clan convinced them of it. Your parents weren’t sorcerers but your mothers family was long ago. They possessed The Divine Panther, it hadn’t been passed down in over 100 years and by some miracle you got it. The Zenin’s took the opportunity, hoping you would pass it down into their clan but that wasn’t completely up to them. Not like they treated you like you were special. Pushing you so hard to master your technique while most of them looked down upon you. Most likely because your cursed energy was “weird” as Noaya said. Most of the youth are scared to train with you. So why train when everyone is already scared of you in the first place? The Zenin’s didn’t even fully understand your technique or so they say but they knew you were strong. Special grade strong, up there with the six eyes. “But just appearing strong isn’t the same as being strong.” Noaya would always say to you. I’m sure someone older and wiser than him told him that. Those words are far too sophisticated for a boy like him. 

“Where are we even going, Suzuki-san?” you ask, moving your head from the window. 

She looked at you through the rearview mirror as she spoke. “We are headed to the Zen’in residence, they wanted you to attend a clan meeting. Did your parents not tell you?” 

You shake your head, crossing your arms. “No, they were too busy picking out clothes and telling me how to properly greet people, like I don't know how to.”  Shifting your kimono as you grumble. “I’m not even a Zenin. Why do they want me there?” 

“I’m sure they just want to include you.” She smiled in assurance.

She wasn’t wrong, but for some reason you didn’t like the feeling you got. It wasn’t that they wanted to include you in a clan meeting. The clan meeting was about you. They wanted you to marry one of theirs for the gain of power but they weren’t the only clan that wanted it. It was like a bidding war. It wasn’t really up to them, it was up to your parents in the end and the Zenin’s would do anything to sway them their way. A nice home, the best schools, private drivers. It was all just a ploy to get them to agree to an arranged marriage. 

The soft sound of the radio and the rain made the ambiance of the car relaxing, distracting you from the scenery slowly turning  into landmarks you didn’t recognize, the winding road getting more and more wooded as she drove. 

“Well, now where are we going?” You question, bringing your attention up to her. “You’re not gonna murder me right?” 

Your comment makes her chuckle. “No, I wouldn't dream of it!” The car turned into a long driveway. “I forgot to mention I had to stop at Jujutsu High to pick up Gojo Satoru.”

“A Gojo? I thought you worked for the Zenins?” Your little eyebrows furrow as you settle back into your previous position against the window. Looking at the well manicured landscaping as The car comes to a stop outside a large stair walkway that looks like it leads far into the woods. 

“I work for a few people. I have to drop him off for something.” 

“Something? Like what?”

“Well, that is not my business.” She shrugged. 

Your attention was brought to the stairs, watching as a tall, white haired boy ran down the steps with his hands in his black uniform. He looked smug wearing sunglasses in the rain. His cursed energy grew stronger as he approached the car. Your head turned back to the window as he got closer. Seconds later the car door opened. Watching his reflection in your window as he got in. His cursed energy was strong, stronger than yours. You could see him look over at you through the reflection of the car window. 

“Oh man, it's really pouring isn't it Suzuki-San?” He said, leaning forward to greet her. 

He smelled like expensive cologne and hard candies. Almost like he had melted ones in his pocket. Suzuki turned around to look at him with an expression you have never seen. 

“Hello, Gojo.” She smiled, leaning her arm on the middle console. 

Your head still resting against the car window, watching the interaction. Pre-teen angst stirring around your aura. This isn’t worth missing your favorite show and you have to talk to people you don’t really like in the most uncomfortable kimono to ever exist. Now you have to watch Suzuki swoon over this Gojo guy. You had a good feeling he might be annoying, usually you’re pretty good at reading people and he seemed full of himself. The whole thing makes you want to just jump out of the car. 

He leaned back in his seat as Suzuki started driving. He gave off an interesting energy to say the least, intimidating in a way but you felt a childishness that radiated off of him making you assume he couldn’t be much older than you. Not only that, he was texting someone; the clicking of his phone slightly irritating.  Yeah, you weren’t a fan. He definitely was going to be annoying. 

“You shouldn’t run down stairs with your hands in your pockets.” You stated.

Watching his fuzzy reflection pause, his attention moving to you. A smile grew on his face as he looked at you. All angsty and pretending to be uninterested. Don’t think you're the only one who can feel cursed energy and read people. He felt yours far before he got into the car and by the looks of it, you would be fun to mess with.

“Hm and why is that?” He placed his phone in his lap. What an interesting way to greet a stranger. 

“You really don’t know?” You looked over at him with a scowl, only to be met with an amused smile and sunglasses. 

“Nope.” he shook his head. “You shouldn’t start a conversation so harshly. Maybe try with your name next time.”

Oh, another Naoya? Fun. You thought. The way he spoke was like he was mocking you. So smug like you should be grateful to be in his presence and you couldn’t stand it. “You shouldn’t wear sunglasses inside, it's rude, plus it's raining.” 

His eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. “It is raining, good job kid.” 

“Whatever.” You turned away. Mostly to stop yourself from starting something that would get you in trouble. 

“You know.” he pondered, finger tapping his chin. “If you treat people this way, you won't find a husband.” You felt him lean over to you, hand resting uncomfortably close to your leg but moving away would let him know you were affected by his actions and the more you react the more they keep being annoying. You learned that from Naoya.

“Oh, I don’t want one.” You stated, looking at him. “I-um.”  The second part of your snarky comment dying on the tip of your tongue. The edges of his lips turned up into a cheeky smirk, crystal blue eyes and white eyelashes peaking over the rim of his black sunglasses. In all honesty It made you shut up, his closeness made you lose your edge and Gojo ate it up. He noticed how your posture changed ever so slightly, shifting around nervously as you tried to remember your sarcastic comment. Gojo was right, you would be fun to tease. 

“Go on?” He teased, leaning ever so slightly closer to you. You didn’t answer. Scrunching your nose at him. His close proximity made you blush. Why did that make you nervous? It’s not like he was that handsome. (This is a lie, he is very handsome. Unfortunately.) 

“Satoru.” Suzuki’s soft voice cut in, her head shaking lightly as she looked at the pair of you through her mirror. Her expression was sharp as Gojo made eye contact with her. He then looked back at your flush face before falling back against his seat with a sigh. Suzuki’s looks speak a thousand words but she must have known him well for her to address him like that. You were just grateful she saved you, the blush on your face fading while the sounds of talk radio filled the silence in the car.

Your thoughts brought you to the Zen’in clan meeting. You really didn’t care too much about these things, everyone was always so pretentious, always going on about something you pretended to listen to.  Noaya was the worst, of the younger ones that is. Always bullying everyone, especially the girls. He was so vulgar about it too but It didn’t bother you the way he wanted or at least you didn’t show it. Plus it was too much fun to watch his reactions. Boys like him need to be kicked down a peg or two anyway. A/N:(Or be pegged..hehehe)

“Suzuki-san? Do you think Noaya will be there today?” You question breaking the silence. 

“I’m sure he will, why do you ask?” 

“No reason.” you sigh.

Gojo glanced over at you. “Is that your boyfriend or sumin’?” 

“Ew No.” You shook your head. “He calls me a dog or... other things.. So, I bite him.”

“Ya’ one of those weird kids?” He chuckled.

“No. But if you're going to call someone a dog, don't act surprised when they bite you.” You shrug. He was silent, looking at you over his glasses with amusement— you did have a point.

“You’re kinda proving my point here.”

“If you knew him you would understand, he definitely deserves it.” 

“Mhm.” Gojo nodded, turning back to his phone. It was quiet again before he spoke. 

“Well, he's probably just got a crush on you.” 

“Ugh, I hope not.” You say with disgust. “Plus, I don't think you would say the things he says to someone you like.” 

“Like what?” 

“I’d rather not repeat them.” 

The car parking ended your conversation. You had stopping in a part of town you’ve never seen, It was fairly creepy. No bus stops or open stores, just abandoned stores and warehouses. You heard Gojo let out a small sigh before he unbuckled and opened the door, the sound of the rain filled the car as he got out.

“Where are you going?” you ask. “Why are you getting out here? It's creepy.” 

You had leaned over the middle seat to speak to Gojo, looking up at his tall frame as he stepped out. “Wait? Don’t tell me you actually like me?” He said, you could practically hear the smirk on his lips as he spoke.

“No, I’m just concerned for my own safety.” You said, smiling up at him a teasing glint in your eye. He chuckled, straightening his jacket as he bent down to look at you. Your Seat-Belt stretched as far as it could go in to speak with him. And for the second time since meeting him he makes you blush. His eyes locked with yours as he spoke, his tone no longer filled with its usual teasing nature. 

“That's probably a good thing.” He smiled, swinging the door shut. 

[alberivh]

devotion (ROYAL AU) — pt.1 : realization.

Butler! Diluc X GN!Reader . Royal! childe (as supporting character), butler! Kaeya (supporting cast ; in pt2 story line)

contains : heavy angst, comfort/hurt, isolation, arranged marriage, major character death, mentions of blood, injuries, execution, abusive relationship, abandonment, ‘consumption’, false accusation, blades

summaries : arranged marriage has always been one of your family ruthless tradition. You were allowed to love them you couldn’t reach, yet the feeling of being abandoned once and for all by those who you truly treasured was more than numbness could ever describe. Diluc who’s your lover need to accept this tradition, yet he, himself need to get his life down for your future sake.

A/N : thank you for 100 followers!! It has been a wild ride since i’ve just joined this community. Thank you very much and as a rewards, here’s a token of heavy angst for y’all. I have a really bad writing block right now, so this might took more than you think hehe. So once again, thank you very much! ( i actually hate this, tyvm)

“Your majesty…please allow me to hold y—“

“No. I simply do not have time for people pleaser, please let yourself be out from here..” , you cursed your future-husband out of from your bounties. It startled all of the maids and butlers in your room, it even make your somewhat-fiancé looked awful. You were pissed by him, by the structure of his eyelids, the heavy breathe from who-knows-where and many more part of him you don’t even want to recognize.

There’s no reason to deny that you hate this, all of this, Known as the maiden of the family, you were nothing but their only pry. It pissed you, it really does. How come you are holding the throne at the age of 25? Aren’t you supposed to check your garden instead taking all of your well-behave throne and the awful arranged marriage your family has made? No? What an unlucky person you are, the butlers thought.

“Diluc please guide master tartaglia to the upfront door, i have no intention to see him now. If you already had brought him downstairs, get back to my resident immediately.”

“this is the main reason why everyone despis—“

“Please leave Immediately. My master have no further interest to speak with you, master tartaglia.” Diluc shouted your internal response to the group of scums in front of your sight. He heard enough of this small talk your future-husband has been talking about. Diluc wasn’t jealous, he was simply too disturbed with your disgusted face everytime tartaglia walks around your residence. just how much pressured you had been under to make you act so ruthless in front of the man you’ll called husband in no time?

he silently observing him down the hall. Not wanting to have a talk with a scum like him, he avoid any sights of his ‘particular’ interest. After all, in his eyes, tartaglia doesn’t deserve any part of you. He acts too normally, there diluc suspicion of your fiancé grown. There must be something behind his motive. Tartaglia have recognize diluc’s gaze for a while now. Though, he pretend none of those bothering suspicion triggered his rage. And so, he fired him up with a quick straightforward awareness. Or as the citizen say, A threat.

“mr. Butler..stop loving my future partner or tomorrow you’ll have the consequences..got it? And do not touch them..i’ve warned you when you were alive, i like my future partner to be a virgin ins—“

“master tartaglia i have no relationship with the majesty, how come you assume such a thing from a humble butler like me? I was just simply following orders, hope you could understand, master tartaglia.” , answering his rage. Tartaglia found his emotion drains wild. It look like those bothering emotions he hide finally show diluc their true intention to spoiled you. Diluc’s eyes met your fiancé terrifying visions, the murderous aura in it explains his true intention. Diluc could only plea inside, let my majesty be safe.

“don’t you dare say anything to your master, mr butler. My partner has been mine all along, stay away from our relationship or tomorrow would be your last day…”

“Though, i simply wouldn’t mind, ajax.” , he gurantees tartaglia’s eyes.

The night came. the breeze flew through your open windows, leaving chills through your spine. it was an unsurprisingly beautiful night, you quoted. Diluc was preparing your bed, as you humm through the southed area of your room. The melodical sound of your humming have always soothes his grudge from afar. It was always been his favorite sound.

“ your majesty, the bed has been done. You may rest peacefully now..so please excuse m—“

“Diluc…stop making it seems like i’m the only one who loved you..just stay here, i missed you a lot..” , in a sudden your arm was attached to his body, his dirty and ordinary body. You embraced him so tightly, as if diluc were going to some place you wouldn’t want him to cross. You were scared of losing him. You don’t want any of this marriage, you don’t want tartaglia to even acknowledge your presence. You just want diluc to stay by your side, even if you both have considered how selfish it is.

You clunge onto his chest, pressing gentle kiss on his cheeks. Not wanting him to leave nor to leave you behind. So desperate of you to feel this way.

“you’ve been doing great darling,i’m proud of you..”

“please stay like this for a while, i love you. So please, don’t go..don’t go..” , diluc watch your flattering smile turns into a small-sobs, it cracks him, he doesn’t want to let you go either. He was simply following your fiancé awareness, he doesn’t want anyone to harm you, even if it meant for you to see him in agony. Diluc Carries your figure into your bed in return, not wanting to bare any of his emotions. Feelings are fragile and so do he. giving soft and gentle kisses to your forehead as he wiped your tears, whispering a ‘goodnight’ before he left you again. If he was being honest, he wants to be more selfish, he wants to be with you, forever.

“hmm..i’ll be waiting for you, goodnight my beloved..”

“What’s with the inconvenience…?” The loud atmosphere greet you with chills. What time is it? You don’t even know. All you know is the sunrise have yet to grown out from the wave of the clouds. but why must all of your maids gather themself on your room, something important? But why must them gather at the edge of dusk..? Did your mother fucked up again? But actually, what happened?

At the same time, you mumbled a form of question. Where’s diluc? You asked yourself.

“Y-Your majesty! d-diluc have now been courted by the queen, i-i don’t know what happened but please stay put i shall help you! Yes! I-i—“ courted? In sudden, you dropped your glasses. The broken piece of the glasses shard scarred your leg. It was painful, but you didn’t care. The blood shed of your scars leave the carpet of your resident turn into a red motives of blood. What did diluc do to make himself courted by your own mother? All he did was to love me, mother. The maid beside you were in all panics, trying to brag your arm from leaving the room. Although you declined the embrace of it, you were still running in pain, it made the maids panics turn into vomits.

Rushing through the open corridor of your resident in sweats and blood shed, You found diluc. His hands tied with a rope, a slight red bruises covered his face. He was Courted by your mother because of an unknown letter that has been sent to the queen herself, it was dumb for her to court an innocent person like him. Though, at last, you found yourself screaming his name. The pain which hold onto your consciousness leave your body in a second. diluc was aware of this, Everything. His hands wanted to touch you and lead you to rest. but he couldn’t, the execution would be in front of his eyes in no time.

“you did harm my child don’t you? Look at those blood on their legs! How come a butler like you harmed my precious child..?! They are unconscious because of you filthy butler. Know your degree, h—“

“you abuse them, your highness. You abuse them, ever since their father die, you abandoned them and break them to pieces. How come you only care about them dying when their time to hold the throne came? They were dying because of you, those consumption they witness are all because of you. And you dare to tell me what to do when all i did was just to love them?!” He quoted every single words you wish you could say to your mothers face. You wished you have the audacity to tell her the truth, yet your weak body refuse it’s urge to make diluc out of the execution lines. I’m sorry, i’m really sorry.

silence fill the room. You were laying in pain, as you heard diluc’s defense and your mother’s lies. You realized once more, you were nothing to them. Just a pry for the throne. none of the guards have pitied you either, they are too focused on never-letting diluc’s eyes or hands meet your figure in this state of time. Those scarred glasses on your legs have made you lose too-many bloods, it scared diluc. After all, as a lover he is, he has devoted himself to protect you in all cost. let them be safe and take me away. It’s his last hope for you to stay awake for him.

“no execution needed. I have no reason to pay attention to fools like you. so isolation it is. This is all because of you, my child is dying and you’re the one at fault. Noticed how they haven’t even called your name again? They died because your lack of responsibility.” , spitting her mucus in diluc’s knees. You could barely saw diluc chills which you usually saw in his eyes. He’s about to cry..you think.

“Guards, please take my child away and let them rest in their bed. And so for this butler, put him in the isolation room, make sure to let him eat only once in a day, understood? Ah..don’t let my child see him, i don’t want them to see an abuser like him crawling out their life’s on my window.” , orders from your mother are none to first. They couldn’t be disobey and you understand them. You understand how ruthless it is, you understand it. But why must diluc? Why him? You saw the sight of him, blades are all over his neck. For what reason actually? To let him never see you again.

carried by the guards to your room and diluc was gone from your vision. He is not wrong, your highness. So why must those who loved me left my side, mother? Why won’t these bruises you add to my flawless skin never leave me? Is it because i’m a procession of your own sin? It was a cursed to fall in love with those you could barely reach.

PART 2 : COMING SOON

this is shitty, really shitty in fact. Though, thank you very much for reading this. Part 2 will come soon, if i had some energy to write the readers mother personality without getting pissed off. But anyways, see y’all soon at part 2 <3

[atinydise]

Ateez arguing with their s/o in a middle of a make out session (part 2)

❦ Genre: Fluff & Suggestive.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 3K.

❦ Requested: Heck yes lol, thank you! 🦋

❦ A/N Note: ⚠️Since I took again an eternity to post it, I advice to read the first part again (or for the first time)! Thank you for liking the 1st one tho! hehe

HONGJOONG

Jongho called the leader once again, even waved in front of his face but still nothing. "Is he ignoring me?" He asked San. His friends shrugged. "He's lost in his thoughts. And he's probably really far away from here." "HYUNG!" Yelled Jongho in the leader's ear. His brain finally reconnected to the reality. "The hell-" "It's been 2 minutes since I'm trying to get your attention." Said Jongho, a bit pissed. "What's going on?" He grabbed his phone, hoping to see any notification. "We need to go back practicing." "Ah.... then I'll join in 2 minutes. I need to call someone." He said, leaving the room. "What on the earth is going on with him?" Whispered San. "No idea." Replied the maknae. Hongjoong went to the restroom, the most far away from the practice room, just to be sure that nobody will bother him. "Okay, please babe pick up." He begged quietly plugging his Air Pods on. [“Hello, it’s the girl who always chosen after her boyfriend’s career. What can I do for you?”] At least you didn’t lose your humor sense.

[“Babe I’m sorry.”] Apologized Hongjoong. [“You are sorry for what exactly?”] [“For ruining the intimate moment, we were about to share.”] [“And?”] Hongjoong rolled his eyes. Good thing for him you weren’t able to see it. [“And to always let my career pass before you.”] [“And?”] You repeated. Your boyfriend was confused for a second. He ignored for what he needed to apologize. [“And... and...”] he stuttered. [“I don’t know.”] He heard a long and heavy growl coming from your side. [“Well. I guess it’s already more than fine.”] You claimed. [“What do you wanted me to say?”] He asked curiously. [“I don’t know... maybe something like ‘to apologize, I’m coming right now and for sure tomorrow you won’t be able to walk’.”] You said, imitating his voice. [“Are you on your period?”] Asked Hongjoong. He knew you so well that he immediately understands when you dirty talked to him, without even a simple stutter. You let a quick silence settle before finally say: [“Yeah.”] [“Then let’s wait a little bit longer then.”] He sneered. [“Coward.”] You replied. [“Love you too.”] [“Me too.”] [“So, we are good?”] He asked. [“Give me at least a hug and we will be good.”] You replied. [“See you tonight then.”] He smiled.

SEONGHWA

[“Hello! You are on Y/N’s voicemail I’m not av-”] Seonghwa growled and let his phone fall on the couch. “She’s not answering I guess.” Claimed Mingi. “No.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes. “She’s ghosting me since... 2 days now.” “Did you try to meet her at school?” “Yeah. I’ve waited 3 hours there. To finally remember that she’s on spring break.” “And at her apartment?” Asked Mingi. “Of course, Sherlock. But nothing.” Sighed Seonghwa. “It’s like she disappeared.” Mingi raised a brow. “She’s probably doing her own life.” The eldest member was suddenly hit by the reality. “Mingi you are a genius!” “Yeah, I know but why?” “We are Thursday!” Claimed Seonghwa, putting his shoes on. “Yeah and?” “Y/N is doing her laundry every Thursday evening! She might be there.” Seonghwa left the dorm so quickly that Mingi was still processing what just happened. “The beck is wrong with him...” Your boyfriend ran to the laundry shop which you are used to go. He prayed the whole way, that you would be sitting there, reading a book or watching a ton of TikTok while your clothes were washing. His heart missed a beat when he spotted you there. As fast as possible, he opened the door. “Babe!” “Hwa?” You raised a brow. “You came here to tell me how to wash my stuff?” Seonghwa ignored your question and turned around. He saw a cute grandma tidying her clothes. “Excuse me ma’am. But I will need you to leave quickly because I’m about to take my girlfriend, right here and right now.” “Seonghwa!” You yelled, outrageously. “Oh, it’s okay darling. I was young too.” Giggled the old lady. You grabbed your boyfriend by the wrist and guided him outside. “What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked, mad. “I want to apologize!” “Do you think it’s the right way to do it?” “I want to prove you that nothing can bother me to have sex with you now. Not a stain and not even an old grandma.” “And the CCTV?” You pointed at the camera fixed where you were standing 2 minutes ago. “I don’t mind having public.” He smirked. “You are unbelievable.” You sneered. “Does it mean you are forgiving me?” “Maybe.” You replied cockily while entering back inside. “Grr. I love when you play hard-to-get.” “What the hell happened to you Park Seonghwa.” You laughed happily.

YUNHO

Yunho was tormented. It was 3AM and he didn’t close his eyes for a second. He was staring at the white ceiling, trying to know how to resolve this situation. You didn’t talk to him after the little incident. Yunho understood why you were mad. He didn’t tell you the truth and the real reason behind his shyness. He glanced at you. The sheet was barely covering your back. He was about to put it right, but the little voice in his head claimed that it was a bad idea. So, he stared at the big spec between both of you. For sure, you could put a third person in the middle. Yunho sighed. What could you to be less mad? The reason of why he decided to stop earlier was because of the stress, not because you weren’t attractive enough. It was the opposite actually. He truly believes that you will think that is too dumb. Just because he’s scared of doing something wrong. Or worse hurting you. But more he was thinking, more it started to be overwhelming for him. “Y/N.” He whispered. “Hm?” You muttered sleepily. “Y/N.” “What? It’s 3AM.” You grunted, still not facing him. “I’m sorry for what happened this evening. I was terrified. I don’t want to do anything wrong with you.” He continued. “I really find you attractive. Even too much sometimes but... I want to have sex with you of course.” You couldn’t help but to smile secretly. His words were well chosen. All the insecurities you had earlier were vanished. Yunho stayed quiet for few seconds, waiting for you to say something, but instead you handed your hand, still facing the wall. He understood that it was an invitation to cuddle. “So, we are good now?” He asked, positioning behind you. “Yeah.” You replied, rubbing his hand which was resting on your stomach. “Cool.” He whispered, finally relaxing. “Thank you for telling me.” You said. “So... do you want to try it right now?” He shyly asked. “I’m tired Yunho.” You declined. “Sure. Okay. No problem.” He replied. “But can we change our position because you are waking up the ‘beast’?” You laughed when you felt his boner pocking on your butt. “Told you... you were too much attractive sometimes.” He giggled, blushing a bit.

YEOSANG

A new notification. But not coming from you. Yeosang was waiting for you to send a message like you usually do in the morning. But the next day after your little and stupid argument, you were remaining silent. “She should have sent a message already. It’s 10AM.” Said Yeosang, frustrated. “Just let her breath.” Sighed Jongho, playing PlayStation on the upper bed. “I didn’t send a text to her yet. She should be the one apologizing.” “Why?” “We are 2 making love. So? She can buy condoms for me too!” “You right.” Started Jongho. “But you should always have a pack or at least one, on you.” “On which side are you?” Growled Yeosang. “None. Your intimacy isn’t my business. But I just admitted that both of you are wrong.” Declared the maknae. “Since when are you so mature?” Sighed his friend. “I need someone who can tell that I’m right.” Jongho stayed quiet. He would never say something like this when knew he was 100% right. “And she would never buy one because she would be ashamed of it.” Added Yeosang. “The cashier doesn’t care. You are not the only one in the earth to buy one.” Replied Jongho. “We are going to see if you have the same speech when you’ll buy for yourself.” “I do already.” “W-wait what?” Just when Yeosang was getting curious, you entered the room like a storm. “Kang Yeosang!” You threw the plastic bag on him. “What th- ouch!” “Jongho, I will ask you to leave the room for an hour. Or 2.” You removed your jacket. Yeosang opened the bag and threw everything on the bed. His eyes widened when he saw a dozen condoms’ pack. “The hell Y/N-” “I bought exactly 12 packs to show that you don’t need to be ashamed about it and that no one cares.” Jongho exited the room completely flustered, but with a bigger esteem for you. “Okay now remove your pants.” You ordered, pulling out your hoodie. “Like? Right now? Not even a make out-” “It’s been 10 hours that I’m waiting.” “O-Okay.” Yeosang was a bit taken a back, but it was fast forgotten when you unclasped your bra.

SAN

You rolled on your bed once again. You were so frustrated and mad at San. The vein on your forehead couldn't stop popping out every time you remembered him picking up his phone. Angrily, you covered your entire face with a pillow. Desperately, you tried to erase of these thoughts. Just when you were finally finding some peace, the fire alarm resonated in your apartment. You jumped out of your bed and went straight to the kitchen. Instead of seeing a big fire, you saw San opening the window as wide as he could. "What is going on?!" You claimed, grabbing a chair. San was panicked as you, or even more. He was trying to push the smoke out of the room while wondering what you were doing. On your tippytoe, you pushed the button to stop this annoying and loud noise. "Thanks God." Sighed San, relieved. "The heck you are trying to do. Burn my apartment?" You turned off the stove. "I wanted to prepare a royal breakfast for you." He pouted, disappointed that his surprise failed. You looked around you, now that the smoke was slowly disappearing, you could see the entire mess in the kitchen. Flour was spread on every parcel of the counter, one or two eggs were smashed on the floor, milk was spilled on cupboard and an incredible number of dishes were stacked in the sink. "Yeah, that's the first time I make pancakes by myself." He scratched his head. "Choi San..." "I want to apologize for yesterday! But I wanted to do it right!" "Oh nice. So, you said 'to apologize to Y/N because I've completely ghosted her to talk with my teammate that I can see every day, I'll burn her apartment'?" "Babe! I'm really sorry." He apologized once again. "I will do everything you want for a week." "Everything?" You raised a brow, curious. "Yeah." "Okay, then start by cleaning your mess." You pointed at the counter. "After that let's clean the entire apartment." "Sure." He nodded. "After that... we will eat at our favorite restaurant. And you are going to pay." "Wow. Sex must be really important for you." Declared San, when the list didn't stop. "Never stop a horny woman." You warned him.

MINGI

["I'm parked in front of your building. Let's talk really quick."] You read this text message at least 10 times to be sure you understood well. It's been 2 days since the practice room accident. You only exchanged few messages but nothing more. You didn't mind giving him a proper answer. You just put your hoodie back on, and of course by "your" it means "his", and left the dorm, without warning your roommates. But honestly, by the way you went out, dressed like this, they could only assume that you were about to meet Mingi. Just when you got out of the building, you spotted your boyfriend's car, as he said, right in front of the door. You hesitated a second, but finally hoped in. "You should have wear something warmer. It's cold outside." He said instantly, when he saw your bare legs. "Good evening to you too Mingi." You greeted him sarcastically. "Do you drove here, just to scold me about my outfit?" "No, of course no." He whispered, looking right at the street in front of him. Since, a big and awkward silence settled. None of you wanted to say something, too afraid to tell something risky and lead one of you to be mad. It felt like walking on a really straight and thin line. You played nervously with the hem of the hoodie, which was barely covering your legs, you noticed. That's probably why he scolded you. For your own good. As always. "I'm sorry." You both apologized at the same time. You glanced at each other, surprised and giggled cutely. "I'm sorry." Insisted Mingi, grabbing your hand. "Me too." You smiled to him. "Sorry for almost crushing you with my weight." He added. "You did." "And sorry for almost make you bald." "You did it too." Mingi pinched your leg gently, happy to see that you were still bratty sometimes. "Ooookay! I'm kidding! I'm sorry for what I've said too. That's wasn't really nice." "Yeah, it wasn't." "Song Mingi-" "Soo..." you didn't have enough time to say anything that he started the car. "Where are we going?" You asked enthusiastically, putting your seatbelt. "Just want to bring you somewhere. So, we can talk about these 2 terrible days." "Oh, I thought you wanted to go in a Love Hotel." You joked. "That's the plan too." "I-"

WOOYOUNG

2 weeks since your argument but 4 weeks since you shared an intimate moment. You needed to admit that even a flick on your forehead would turn you on. You were so needy. But no way Wooyoung could know it. You tried your best to stay far away from him when sleeping, so you wouldn't end by griding your butt on him, desperately. Usually, Wooyoung was really touchy, and he would initiate a make out session the first one, but surprisingly, he only exchanged a peck or a hug from time to time. You spotted him covering his manhood, with a blanket sometimes. He would always pretext that he is cold. But you are not dumb. He takes shower way much longer than usual tooo. On his side, Wooyoung was really struggling to not give up the first one. He was barely looking at you. He knew that with only one shorty or croc-top, it was over for him. In conclusion, you were 2 idiots trying to suppress their arousal for each other, just because of an argument. "Do you want to watch a movie?" Offered Wooyoung. "Sure, and I know how much you like movies." You smirked. Your boyfriend rolled his eyes and ignored your comment. Instead of insisting on the subject again, he played the first movie that appeared. It was a really nice and chill one until the main actress discovered the wild side of college. It started by a scene and then other one. Followed by 3 more. Inside Wooyoung was hoping that you wouldn't notice the form on his sweatpants. "What a movie huh." He laughed nervously. "Yeah." You nodded. "They are really getting it huh." "They are really liking these scenes." "They are really well made." He replied dumbly. "Maybe that's what they want." "Of course, everyone wants that." "Yeah. Everyone." You repeated. "Everyone." "You exchanged a quick glance. Wooyoung was finally the first one to give up. "Do you-" "Heck yes!" You replied. "You should have told me!" "No, I was too mad at you!" "Do you really want to argue again? Right now?" He asked. "No." "Okay then go because I'm going to explode!"

JONGHO

"I still don't understand how you ended here, right in front of my college." You raised a brow at Seonghwa and Yeosang. "We were just having a cool walk and unconsciously ended here." Replied Seonghwa, the most natural possible. "The campus is 30 minutes away from KQ Quarter. And 30 minutes with a car." "We had a pretty long walk, okay?" Replied Yeosang, nervously and almost aggressively. "Okay okay... relax dude." You rolled your eyes. "You should come with us a bit." Started Seonghwa. "There's a park next to the campus. Let's talk there few minutes." Added Yeosang. "You guys... are acting really strangely." You claimed. Without asking your authorization, they each picked your arm and brought you to the park. You could fight or ask them to leave you alone, they wouldn't. Seonghwa almost needed oo ask people to not all the police. "What the heck guys? I really need to study and-" You stopped right when you saw your boyfriend sitting peacefully in front of you. A big blanket and a bunch of food were cautiously set on the grass. "Hi babe." Smiled Jongho. "What is this?" You asked. "You prepared all of this?" "Yeah." He scratched his head. "I hope you like it." "And we helped." Whispered Yeosang. "Are you doing this because you said your coach's name when we were making out." "You what?" Almost chocked Yeosang. "Eeew, this is disgusting!" Added Seonghwa. "It was an accident!" He rolled his eyes. "An accident." You crossed your arms on your chest. "I'm really sorry baby. I swear it was only because I've worked with her few hours ago." Explained Jongho. "Anyway, it's not like she's sexy. She's 60 years old and so strict and rude." Said Seonghwa. "She is sexy." Said Yeosang. All of you stared at him. "I'm joking. Relax." He sighed. "Y'all ready need to chill sometimes..." "So do you want to spend an afternoon with me?" Asked the maknae. "Of course." You accepted happily. "Cool! Then sit here." He pointed at the comfy place settled between pillows. "Thank you, Mark." "Mark?" "I'm kidding!" You giggled. "1 point for me now." "Unbelievable." Smiled Jongho.

[a-lil-perspective]

Spare Dad Batch with an expecting s/o 👀?

I WILL SPARE DAD BATCH ANY DAY OF THE WEEK especially the pregnancy and baby stuff holy—

I’ll do you one better: Dad Batch Hunter with an expecting S/O feat. Ori’vod Omega.

Warnings for talk of pregnancy and babies and maybeee allusions to a breeding kink if you s q u i n t.

—

I’ve always said Hunter is the first one to pick up on the pregnancy. He can sense the hormone changes early on, just the slightest shift in the composition but it’s kind of a daunting revelation and so he just keeps it to himself for the first few weeks until he’s 100% certain of his suspicion.

Omega picks up on it not long after. Omega is very... perceptive in ways not yet fully understood.

Hunter still thinks he’s the only one who knows and so he’s just been carefully observing the wife while she’s none the wiser and he’s struggling lol like should he say anything or just wait for an opportunity to present itself like how does this work???

The topic is finally broached at the dinner table one night, courtesy of Omega.

She’d long since abandoned her dish in favor of idly turning over the contents, a wondrous look on her face.

Hunter’buir sitting across the way asks what’s got his mirdala so awestruck. She shrugs, but the smile underscoring her features is profound.

“I can’t wait to be a big sister.”

Hunter watches as his wife turns to their Meg, positively befuddled.

She’s able to reign in her confusion enough to run a loving hand through Omega’s hair and ask, “What do you mean by that?”

“You’re going to have a baby.”

Hunter leans back in his chair, feeling very smug with himself while the poor wife just looks shell shocked.

Still, he decides to play along, though he can’t keep the amusement from his lips. “What makes you think that, Meg?”

Omega keeps her eyes trained on her plate. She won’t meet Hunter or Mom’buir’s gaze, but she leans into the touch. “I had a dream,” she murmurs meekly, and then in afterthought adds, “—And, it was just talking to me.”

Mom’buir senses her growing reticence, and keeps a comforting hand on her cheek. “What was talking to you?” She prompts gently.

Omega’s eyes fall to her still mostly uniform stomach. “The baby.”

Both Buirs take too long to respond.

Omega quickly asks to be excused. Hunter gives her a reassuring smile and a nod, and she scampers off without another word. Mom’buir watches her go.

She feels Hunter’s eyes trained heavily on her. She turns slowly to her Riduur, thoroughly unsure of what expression she’ll find.

“You’re pregnant?” His face is pulled taut with solemnity, his antics from a moment ago quickly dissolved. He looks at her almost imploringly, and she realizes, he asks with hope wound tight in his throat. It’s something they’ve talked about extensively, a desire nestled into wantonly moans during the height of their pleasure. She knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, Hunter wants ade more than anything.

She drinks in his heavy expression. What a question to ask, for a man of heightened senses. She knows, Hunter often asks questions he already knows the answer to. “You tell me, Ruus’alor.”

His smirk from earlier returns then, and he shrugs. “I’ve had an idea. Just been waiting until the right moment.”

“How very dramatic of you.”

“All part of the plan.” He fists the hair at the nape of his neck, a nervous habit she is not at all phased by. “Actually to tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”

“So you had Omega do it?”

Hunter laughs then. “No no, I had nothing to do with that. I have no idea how she knows.”

“You’re not at all concerned that your child demonstrated prophetic abilities.”

Hunter’s eyes crease, revealing a prolonged weariness. “It’s not the first time, you know.”

The wife nods slowly. Omega she’s... she’s always been ahead of her time, ahead of the game, and the change. The Buirs can’t say they’ll ever fully comprehend it. Her insight is not one to be trifled with. It will never not be slightly unnerving, but they’ve learned to take it all in stride.

She looks to Hunter again, but his gaze is lost to her midsection, to the fantasy-turned-reality. His eyes are soft and elated.

“You’re pregnant.” It’s spoken in a whisper of reverence, and instantly the suffocating feeling that came with keeping it suppressed all this time is lifted. He embraces her in an instant, gathering her adoringly close while his hand comes up to cradle the back of her head.

She hums into him. “And you’re not surprised.”

He kisses her crown. “I knew all that fun would pay off.”

She swats him but can’t help the laugh that escapes. She racks her brain to estimate how far along she could be. Given their... increased activity the past several weeks, she doesn’t have to think too hard, but Hunter makes her promise to get in with the medics first thing in the morning.

Omega of course didn’t stray too far out of earshot; she never does. Which is what earned Hunter his swat. It’s only a matter of time before Meg, with her sweet innocence and earnest mind, begs to know what “fun” Hunter’buir is alluding to.

But for now; she scurries over and wedges in between her embracing parents. She loves seeing them happy, and she feels like she’s flying when they both lean down and kiss her. They don’t have to lean far; she’s getting so tall, growing up so fast. Her thoughts fall to the growing baby.

“I told you,” she beams as Hunter’s lips linger on her cheek.

“You sure did, Om’ika.”

—

Omega’s excitement only grows throughout the pregnancy. When baby becomes more pronounced, Meg is more proactive in her efforts, her delicate hands practically glued to the burgeoning swell as she fawns and chatters away with her growing vod’ika. She simply can’t wait.

Her and Mom’buir grow immensely closer during the process. Omega loves snuggling up with her at night, hands resting on her belly anytime Hunter’s aren’t. She presses an ear to the soft swell so that she can better hear when baby “talks” to her.

They’ll often fall asleep like that, Omega’s sweet face pillowed by Mom’buir’s tummy. The first time she feels a kick, her awe is indescribable. She touches her baby sister every chance she gets.

Yes, Meg is 1000% certain she’s getting a baby sister. Her and Hunter’buir are very proud of their “Team Girl” assertions.

And they are both right.

Ori’vod Omega is a title well earned. She is Mom’buir’s biggest help, always by her side, fussing over her health—her medical instincts never leave her. She’s always asking questions and offering suggestions—even more so when baby arrives.

It’s an intimate experience for her and the Buirs to share, and Omega feels privileged to be apart of this new, unique take on life. It’s so very different to the labs back on Kamino. And, Omega decides, far more beautiful.

[fa-by]

warning this is big. just to clarify. i’m not a hater nor a shipper. i just happen to be a part of this fandom for a very long time, and i luckily witnessed many stuff back in the 5H days. i came across one of your posts about the laucy storyline and how it’s supposed to be a fake relationship and i can’t help but thinking, why do you skip so many parts of the story? like i get that y’all have certain opinions about this thing being a coverage for camila and lauren’s relationship but why do you skip so many important details which could validate lauren’s feelings towards lucy? just to be a little more specific back in 2015 when lucy reunited with lauren after the incident, before the rumors of their relationship even started, i remember lauren reblogging many shit on tumblr about long distance relationships and how distance means nothing if you truly love someone. of course at that time when laucy as a ship wasn’t even a thing, camren shippers obviously connected these posts to camila but now that we know the story as told by lauren it makes sense that most of these reblogs were about lucy since they were rarely together due to lauren moving around all the time. thus i don’t know if you remember but again in 2015 there was this girl who went to the same school as lucy and admitted that lauren and lucy used to date in middle school, also i think around that time someone posted that photo of lauren and lucy in sociology class if i’m not mistaken . and mind you that all these were before all these laucy rumors gained attention. it was mostly curiosity that led all these lauren girls and camren shippers to find out more about lucy and what part she played in lauren’s life. now with all this added information to your timeline, my question to you is what could possibly stop lauren and lucy from having a fling from 7th grade to lucy’s moving in 2012? i mean lauren might’ve said that she fell in love with her best friend at 15 but she also said that she had an on and off relationship with her for years and many hookups until she finally came to terms with her feelings. so what doesn’t fit here? lauren and lucy could’ve started messing around at 12 until 15 years old and only when lucy left for puerto rico lauren realised she had feelings for her. oh and also i don’t know why you guys keep pushing that narrative but lauren and camila were not best friends in 2012, maybe they did later on but certainly not in 2012. sure they became really close due to x factor but it is impossible for them to become best friends over a few months of knowing each other, like do you guys meet someone and immediately call them your best friend after only a few months of knowing each other? how can you put so much trust in someone over four or five months of knowing them in order to call them your best friend? even lauren herself referred to camila as a very good friend of hers, not best friend. my point is, lauren and lucy had an actual background whilst camila and lauren didn’t, which is why i do believe that lauren had an actual relationship with lucy. and one more thing, maybe i don’t believe that camila was romantically involved with lauren but that doesn’t mean i think she’s straight. hell no. lastly i didn’t come here with the intention to change your opinion about camila and lauren’s relationship, but i did want to remind shippers some things they tend to ignore just to validate a ship which in my opinion is non existent.

I had already answered this ask up here with this post https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/655883320751702016/for-the-anon-lucy-shipper-who-sent-me-that-long, but whoever sent it to me wasn't satisfied with the answer and sent me another one (which you'll find later in this post). Now I'm speaking directly to you, Anon.

So, let's start with the first one. Let's go in order piece by piece since in the second ask you said that I didn't answer any of your arguments:

- “I'm not a hater nor a shipper” You're not a hater nor a shipper, yet you're here in my blog, a CS blog, to talk and to not so low-key support Laucy. That's why I mentioned you in that way in my last post.

- “why do you skip so many parts of the story?” As I mentioned in the last post, I didn't skip anything important.

- “y'all have certain opinions”. We CS? Why do you first speak in the plural and then only speak to me if you're only talking to me in the first place? I hope that now that I've pointed this out to you, you've realized how that y’all sounds, not a hater nor a shipper Anon.

- “i remember lauren reblogging many shit on tumblr about long distance relationships and how distance means nothing if you truly love someone. of course at that time when laucy as a ship wasn’t even a thing, camren shippers obviously connected these posts to camila but now that we know the story as told by lauren it makes sense that most of these reblogs were about lucy since they were rarely together due to lauren moving around all the time” /// “Now that we know the story as told by Lauren”. Exactly. As told by Lauren, aka the fake story they've been trying to get her to sell for years. Story for a cover. Story full of flaws that don't add up and will never add up in the stories they're gonna declare. Story that precisely for this reason, is and will be modified more and more in order to adapt perfectly to the Camren one to explain and give a sense also of the songs. Story proven over and over again to be PR with real proofs. If you want to believe those reblogs were for Lucy, it's your choice, Anon. I'm certainly not gonna tell you that you can't believe in what you want. Everyone is free to believe in what they want and have their own opinion.

- “thus i don’t know if you remember but again in 2015 there was this girl who went to the same school as lucy and admitted that lauren and lucy used to date in middle school”. So let me get this straight, you just happen to be a part of this fandom for a very long time, and you luckily witnessed many stuff back in the 5H days but you don't know how many people have invented things to get attention and how many others got involved for distribute bullshit for the narrative? You say you were there, and you don't know that this was part of the rumors (not only on L, but also on C and the other girls) that were proven wrong so much so that this information was also removed from the internet? And you say you were there? But more importantly, you prefer to believe something you read (which was even debunked) without a shred of proof just because it validates what you believe? You prefer believing a person who said she knew them just for the attention and who didn't even live in Miami? Ahh. Okay then. It's your choice. But what about what someone who really was in Lauren's circle said? Someone who really knew them and went to school with them (and who, to me, didn't act like a friend in that case)?

You didn't believe her, did you? Of course not. Because it didn't validate what you believe in.

- “also i think around that time someone posted that photo of lauren and lucy in sociology class if i’m not mistaken . and mind you that all these were before all these laucy rumors gained attention”. Regarding the picture, I already proven to you in the last post that it was exactly to get attention and that it was during the PR.

- “Now with all this added information”. I'm sorry, what information? You mean the things I've proven to you to be false or you mean your opinions which are just opinions that actually prove nothing?

- “my question to you is what could possibly stop lauren and lucy from having a fling from 7th grade to lucy’s moving in 2012?”. Oh, let's see. Maybe the fact that she was still young and only in middle school started to realize that she liked girls, but she understood it 100% only later during high school? [If you read my post like you say you did, then you know how I think it really went between them. And this connects to that] Maybe the fact that having gone to those kinds of Catholic schools and having a believing family, she had: “I had homophobia deeply ingrained into my system”? Maybe the fact that “The girls in my social realm, if they even thought you were gay, you were ridiculed beyond belief”? Maybe the fact of how she was mocked at school because she was too confident, too sincere, and too honest, and people didn't like that and therefore that was one of the reasons why she thought there was something wrong with her and that she had to suppress ​this part of herself because she really wanted to integrate so much? Maybe the fact that one of her irrational fears still today is what other people think of her? Maybe the fact that she's always been a people pleaser and wanted people to like her because she couldn't accept that people despised her? Maybe the fact that wanting to adapt and consequently having to suppress herself, obviously also included her being queer? Maybe the fact that she didn't want to be a disappointment to her family, friends, acquaintances at school, and even God since she'd been inculcated with these ideas of not being a sinner and an abomination since she was a child? Not to mention that “from 7th grade” is impossible because Lauren hadn't even given her first kiss yet.

I hope you know that these are not my opinions or theories but words that came out of her mouth on more than one occasion. Although I don’t know if that’s validated enough for you. I mean, I'm still a little bit confused, you know? I’m still trying to figure out because, apparently, your opinions count as proofs and are validated for you, but the actual proofs aren't, right?

- “i mean lauren might’ve said that she fell in love with her best friend at 15 but she also said that she had an on and off relationship with her for years and many hookups until she finally came to terms with her feelings. so what doesn’t fit here?”. Oh, let's see. Everything she said about her that doesn't match her at all but that does match Camila? Even just the fact that she said how much she loved the part of Lucy that was so confident about who she really was when Lucy herself even lately said the exact opposite by automatically debunking everything Lauren said. Or the simple fact that Laur said she'd been in love with her all those years but broke up with her only a little over a month after they were official to get together with Ty. I mean, what?? Who does something like that if they were truly in love?

I've already explained this, but I will repeat it. How can you have been in love with someone for so many years, broke up with them because they were a toxic person, and immediately get together with an even more toxic person without having the proper time to heal? Without taking the time for yourself to lick your wounds, grow up, be ready again to throw yourself out there, and eventually find a better person to be in a relationship with? How? Simple. Because they were both fake relationships. The timing they wanted to tell is not credible. None of what they've said is believable, and luckily, there's also enough evidence to prove it so these are not opinions and theories.

Not to mention that Lucy had two relationships during and after her PR with Laur (2016 Sarah Scott Narcise, before dating Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017).

So, yes, Anon. You asked a super right question. “so what doesn't fit here?”. Lucy. Lucy is the one that doesn't fit here. Lucy is the answer. Laur is still obliged to make people believe that Lucy is the ONLY girl she's ever been in love with. Period. Without ifs and buts. It's up to you and anyone else to try to see the truth behind the lies they're forced to sell.

- “lauren and lucy could’ve started messing around at 12 until 15 years old”. Again. Impossible since she was 12, and for me, so just my opinion, not after meeting Camila. And certainly not from 2015 onwards because it was just for PR and there are actual proofs. Whether you want to believe it or not.

- “oh and also i don’t know why you guys keep pushing that narrative but lauren and camila were not best friends in 2012, maybe they did later on but certainly not in 2012. sure they became really close due to x factor but it is impossible for them to become best friends over a few months of knowing each other, like do you guys meet someone and immediately call them your best friend after only a few months of knowing each other? how can you put so much trust in someone over four or five months of knowing them in order to call them your best friend?” Again with the plural, Anon? They were always attached to each other hip, and not only during the X-Factor interviews and the episodes of the program itself, they were also outside of it. They were very but very often at each other's home. Their parents hanged out, with or without them. The two of them, DNA, and anyone who knew them, always said how quickly they became friends from the boot camp also thanks to the fact that they lived in the same city. There are billions of proofs around out there. And then, I'm sorry. I don't know your age and I don't know you, Anon, but I think you remember what it was like at that age. It's so much easier to become friends with someone and become attached to them precisely because you are that young.

And you forget one fundamental thing. You forget how different it was for them. You forget how they were five teenage girls basically alone against the world (despite their parents trying to be as present as possible) and how this made them even closer together. Not to mention that the two of them were the ones who had the most things in common and that this brought them even closer; not just Miami.

Your topic doesn't apply in this case, both because of their age and because of their particular circumstances. I would've been super in agreement with you if we were talking about two people who have just met in a more adult age and not in the middle of adolescence, and under more normal circumstances especially.

- “even lauren herself referred to camila as a very good friend of hers, not best friend”. Please tell me you didn’t actually mention something that came out of Laur’s lips about Mila and Lucy during that podcast? Please tell me you understood that she had to play a part? …at this point, I don't really know whether to laugh or be worried… You believe in Laucy and not in Camren because it makes more sense to you, okay. It's your choice. But please, tell me you can tell the difference between maneuvered Laur and genuine Laur? ……… You have to learn to recognize when she's following a script, Anon. I'm saying it for you. You're gonna need it, especially in the future.

- “maybe i don’t believe that camila was romantically involved with lauren but that doesn’t mean i think she’s straight. hell no”. We agree on something at least.

- “lastly i didn’t come here with the intention to change your opinion about camila and lauren’s relationship, but i did want to remind shippers some things they tend to ignore just to validate a ship which in my opinion is non existent” /// “i didn’t come here with the intention to change your opinion about camila and lauren’s relationship”. That's exactly what it looks like actually. Especially for someone who pointed out “I'm not a hater nor a shipper” as the first thing. How generous and thoughtful of you, not Laucy shipper, to come to a CS blog for wanting to try to remind us things already explained and proven just to validate a ship which in your opinion was more existent than Camren.

- “i did want to remind shippers some things they tend to ignore”. And you seem to want to ignore all the proofs there are there just because, and I quote what my girlfriend told me when I made her read your first ask: “as with the showmila shitshow, it's easier to believe it because everything is prepared to point people in that direction”. *Love u and your brain, mi amor 😍🥰😘*

Let's move on to the second ask now, shall we? Step by step again.

- “hey i was waiting for your reply. 1st of all as i said when i sent you that ask, i’m not a shipper lol. i couldn’t care less about ships”. You keep saying that you're not a shipper, but you do act like one and you're here again. You couldn’t care less about ships, but you're here! In a Camren Shipper blog! By reading posts about something you couldn't care less about. By sending asks about something you couldn't care less about, and even waiting for a reply. You don't see anything ironic or, I don't know, contradictory here?

- “i only want my fav to be happy with whoever the fuck she wants. idgaf if that person is camila or lucy or whoever”. You only want your fav to be happy with whoever the fuck she wants and you don’t give a fuck if that person is Camila or Lucy or.. Kris? No, wait. Ty? Is Ty okay? And what about Brad? Or maybe you’d prefer more fetuses? Luis? Keaton? Before all the PRs the fame? So, Paul (14/and just turned 15 years old)? Dominic (her first kiss at 13 in 8th grade)? Her first boyfriend for whom she was cyberbullied at the age of 11 in 6th grade by fake friends who created an entire Facebook page about her with pictures and calling her a slut just because she agreed to be his girlfriend? Or the kid she had a crush on in 4th grade in front of which she peed on herself and who, despite being obviously very embarrassing for her, became her little boyfriend the next day? I mean, I don't know the names of the last two, but they're okay, right? The important thing is that they're not Camila *Simon, is that you?* because you don't believe it, right? Oh no, wait. You said you couldn’t care less about ships. Shit, sorry. My bad.

- “but it really triggers me when you guys don’t value lauren’s words and boundaries”. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you're here because we- No, wait. Because I- No, wait. This plural when you're actually talking to me confuses me because it gives me the feeling that you're not only attacking me, but all the rest of the CS as well when in reality you should know that we're all different. Plus, you're on my blog. But anyway. Let me try again. So you're here because I don't value Laur's words and boundaries? You mean the narrative's words and boundaries? And besides that, loving and respecting her both as an artist and above all as a person, and following her on social media without ever bothering her, never, not even with a single comment, makes me someone who doesn't value Laur's words and boundaries? ME? Me, who has ‘scolded’ all those who do it? Me, who always says to be respectful and to be kind and spread kindness at the end of almost all my posts? Me, who chose Tumblr on purpose because it's not like the other social networks at all? Me, who doesn't even want my posts to come out of here? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ahh, okay.

Did you know that before some mutuals helped me with the situation, I was about to leave Tumblr precisely because that first post of mine ended up on Twitter? Did you know that I was pissed off because not only did they post it without permission, but because there was the link that led here (even though it was a mutual's blog) and my initial as a signature? Yeah, you read it right. It was only the initial of my name, yet, I didn't want and still don't want to be involved in any way publicly. You don't even know me, yet you dare to judge without knowing? Oh and, please. Don't come after by saying that you weren't referring to me and that you were just generalizing because even if it were true, I repeat, this is my blog and you're talking to me.

- “secondly i really don’t know why you didn’t post my ask like you did with everyone else and just chose to refer to me as a lucy shipper and proceeded to talk about what i said without context. and lastly i really don’t get what point you’re trying to prove with your post about my ask because you legit didn’t reply to any of my arguments” /// “i really don’t know why you didn’t post my ask like you did with everyone else”. Wanna know why? I did it because my very first post already answers the whole Laucy situation by itself. And above all, believe it or not, I did it for you. I did it to avoid all this. But you insisted, and now here we are.

Oh and, I explained why I called you Laucy shipper at the beginning of this post.

- “you simply corrected me on a random date of a photo i mentioned”. A random date, yeah, right. So random, that you wanted to use it as proof. A proof that, now that you know it's useless, you're diminishing it because you no longer need it to prove your point which, forgive me, what exactly is it? You know, with all the contradictions you said from the beginning, I got a little lost.

Why are you even here, Anon? Why are you so pressed for something you said you don't give a fuck about? Why send me two asks and insist so much on a ship you ‘don't give a fuck about’, but at the same time say that you’re not a shipper when you clearly are? Don't you see all the contradictions?

- “about your tunnel post i read it like a hundred times, it still doesn’t invalidate any of the points i made on my previous ask, it just contains a variety of dates which basically prove nothing about your ship being real”. You read it like a hundred times and despite this, you're telling me that proves nothing about my ship being real when the post wasn't even about Camren? Are you for real? Well, after all, you've read it like a hundred times and despite the proofs, you still believe that Laucy was real, so, what could I expect? But anyway. I already told you in the last post, but you evidently didn't understand, so I'll tell you again in a different way so maybe it's clearer. There is a light at the end of the tunnel is a post about Laucy's PR. It's not about or proves Camren like you said. It's a reminder I wrote after that podcast that's about and proves the bullshit they've said and will continue to say to make people believe their narrative.

You don't think Laur and Mila have ever been together? Okay. Amazing. But that's your opinion. You want to continue believing in Laucy? Great. Perfect even. But it's your choice. It doesn't concern me. Especially when there's real proofs around and not opinions. I thought it already was, but I hope it’s clearer now that I don’t care who you ship and who you don’t. “The world is beautiful because it's varied”, says a proverb of my country. You can come back here a hundred more times, but you won't change my mind, especially if you keep coming back here with just opinions and empty proofs. Oh and, of course, it's mutual. Nobody's pointing a gun to your head. As I've always said, everyone’s free to think what they want.

So, my rhetorical question now is, what purpose are you really here for, Anon? You justified yourself in the first ask by saying that you're not here to change our minds when it was exactly for that, and even though I answered you with that first post, you've come back once again. Why? What's the point? You saw that you failed in your intent and continued because you want some drama? Because you're bored? Because you wanted to start a discussion? Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not the kind of person who promotes this kind of things. I'm not a fan of attack and hate in all its forms. If I had been, I would've joined Twitter a lot of years ago. I, for real, don't give a fuck about all that shit.

Rhetorical question n°2: Have I or haven't I answered all your arguments now?

Have a good day wherever you are, not a hater nor a shipper Anon. For real, I'm not a petty person.

[enigmawrappedinhypocrisy]

*Request* Okay. Thanks! Could the reader be in to wrestling and her and barley are best friends? And something happened and they find out they’re falling for each other? And Ian is always teasing the reader? And a kiss at the end? Sorry if it’s a bit confusing.. again thanks!

 Okay I’m not sure how to do this… and I’m not into wrestling… And i’m really bad at this getting things done thing… sooo… I’m sorry, I know this has been in my asks for 100 years. But excuses… And i’m tired of this being in my drafts sooo… However, Hopefully it's decent enough. 

Fandom: Onward

Pairings: Barley x Reader (mention of grandchildren once but nothing that indicates gender... I think...) 

Warnings: Bad writing, Quick Mention of drunk idiots harassing reader, I don’t know a thing about Wrestling, Fluff, very bouncy thoughts... a tiny little bit of almost angst. 

❀✦ Master List✦❀

You met Barley at a wrestling match when a few drunk idiots decided to hassle you. As they tend to do… 

You ran into the first, seemingly safe person you saw. You looked at him with puppy eyes and were grateful he understood your silent plea. 

Barley smiled warmly and put his arm around you. He pretended to be your boyfriend until the guys lost interest in you and left. He made some jokes to lighten the mood and struck up a casual conversation with you, as if you really did know each other. You found yourself amazed and feeling better, it seemed this elf boy radiated security and gentleness.  

Then, with a simple thank you, you’d parted ways; only to run into each other again at the local diner after the match. It was there you had sat and talked well into the early hours of the morning. 

You learned he was interested in many things you were, and you just felt… content around him. By the time you had to part, numbers were exchanged, and he’d texted you before noon that day. 

You began hanging out shortly after that. You were nearly always at each other’s house, and quickly became close with his family. His mother adored you and his brother felt comfortable enough to joke around with you. 

All in all you and Barley were quite close.

But not as close as your family's seemed to think you were… or maybe hope would be more appropriate…  

*

The weekend had finally arrived and you made your way to Barley’s house, as planned, after work.

There was a big wrestling event in the evening and you and Barley had plans to hang out and watch it together. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to spend a lot of time at the Lightfoot house so no one batted an eye when you showed up a little early. 

Ms. Lightfoot welcomed you and let you know that Barley had called saying he'd be a little late, and she was going out with friends. As she was leaving she turned to wink at you telling you, with a knowing look, to have fun. 

You thanked her as you felt your cheeks flush with warmth and made your way to the familiar living room. You didn't mind waiting for Barley, in fact, you'd be willing to wait all night if it meant spending time with him. Not that you would tell him that...

Lost in your thoughts about how dumb and sappy that sounded even in your mind, and the implications therein, you hadn't noticed Barley's brother come in.

You had spent a fair amount of time with both brothers since you’d first met Barley. So by this time Ian was pretty comfortable around you, sometimes even coming to you for help or advice. Especially when it entailed something he might have been too embarrassed about to ask his mother or brother about.  

 Ian had decided to take a break from homework, and get a snack when he found you lost in thought on his couch. When he came back from the kitchen only to find you with the same dazed expression several minutes later he decided to tease you a little. 

"Barley late for date night?" Ian asks, his tone even, leaning against the wall an apple in hand. 

"Yea- wait no! Why would you say that?" You blink taken off guard by the sudden question. 

Ian raises an eyebrow in a ‘really?’ expression. 

“Shut up” you try and fail to keep the blush from your voice. "We're just… eh… hanging out!" You defend a little too enthusiastically. 

“Interesting that’s the part you chose to respond to…” Ian chuckles, before heading back upstairs. If you weren't ready to admit your feelings, who was he to do it for you… besides, this was  far more amusing.

*

It wasn't much longer until Barley arrived home, a little disheveled. The match wasn't due to start for another hour, maybe more depending on how things went, and yet it looked like the elf boy had rushed home. 

Why? 

The only thought that continued to creep into your mind was you… he rushed home to see you. The idea of It warmed your heart, and filled you with a longing. A longing for a potential life where Barley was coming home after work each day to see you. 

He'd find you cooking… reading… working on some project… and kiss you. 

You'd ask him about his day… and he yours. 

You'd share a pleasant dinner and end the night cuddled on the couch… 

You’d be happy… 

Ian's words run on loop in your mind and you don’t notice the way Barley’s face lights up upon seeing you. 

Did Barley think you were dating? That this was a date? 

Did he want it to be? 

Did you? 

You hadn't noticed you were staring until Barley brought attention to it. 

"What?" You jump. 

"I asked why you were looking at me like that?" he gives you his charming little half smile as he repeats, what you assume was, his earlier question. 

"Oh, um… nothing… no reason" you blush and desperately avoid looking at him. 

Barley watches you for a moment, clearly not believing your answer, but gives in with a shrug. 

"I'm just gonna go put my stuff down and get something to drink… you want something?" He asks. 

"Okay, um… no thanks" you try to sound casual all the while you're incredibly aware of your quickening heartbeat. 

Barley nods before leaving you, calling to you from the kitchen. He asks about your day. You give a non answer in response and ask him about his. 

He goes on to tell you about some funny thing his boss said in response to an irate customer, and soon returns to the living room. He hands you your drink before flopping down next to you. 

You scold him as you nearly spill. Not really realizing he brought you something even though you told him you didn’t need him to… not only that, but it was definitely your favorite… why would he… how… 

"Sorry my love" he smirks, clearly not sorry. 

You roll your eyes giving him a little shove in response to the nickname. He often called you sweet things. Things you previously attributed to his personality or teasing but now they had you wondering.

When he called you those things, sweetheart, darling, dear… was he actually hinting at what he really felt? 

You look at him out of the corner of your eye and quickly squeak noticing he was watching you with an indescribable emotion.

"W-what?" You try to act casual. 

"What's wrong with you?" He asks, blunt and to the point. 

"What do you mean?" You try and play it off, as if your mind wasn’t playing that little game with the levers and ball… and see you can’t even remember what it’s called… and it’s your analogy… 

PINBALL! Your brain was playing pinball… the dinging buzzing things the ball hits against being the sudden and many thoughts… which makes you the ball? Or was the ball the thoughts… bouncing around… there goes the analogy again…  

"You're being all quiet and…” he indicates you vaguely,  “did my mom say something to you? She's been teasing me about grandchildren lately, she didn't say something like that too you did she?" 

Your eyes widen and you suspect Barley didn't mean to let that slip out by the blush now coloring his ears. 

"No… but um… what-what do you tell her when she asks about that kind of stuff?" Yeah super subtle… 

Barley scratches the back of his neck, “I tell her we haven't discussed that…" 

Wait…

"Why would we… Um Barley?" You push away your insecurities, fear that you’d read the situation wrong, and decide to just jump in with both feet. 

Or tip over the machine? Does it work now? The analogy? 

He 'hmms'. 

"Do you think we're dating?" You try to phrase it gently but cringe when you hear yourself. You don’t want to come across rude, like you’re making fun of him… but also don’t wanna let on how much you’re starting to suspect you want him to say yes… 

Barley looks away from you, practically purple at this point. 

"Uh… no of course not…" It sounded small, nervous but... hopeful? 

"Do… do you want to?" you manage to force out, slightly proud of your mostly even tone.

Do you?

You’re still not sure at this point yourself, you’d only just realized the way you feel about the elf boy that was your best friend. Did you want to risk that? What happens if this was just a little puppy attraction, lust thing… and whatever relationship you begin quickly sizzles out? 

Barley is looking at his hands as he nervously fiddles with the zipper of his vest. He bites his lip and tries to avoid your gaze. 

Oh… 

You soften, “It’s okay if you do… I mean… wanna… um…” Now you can’t find the words, which becomes more difficult when Barley looks up at you, hope shining in his eyes. 

“What are you saying?” he prompts, heart pounding in his chest. He hopes you can’t hear it. 

You shift, turning towards him slightly. “Well… if you wanted to maybe go on a date or something…” 

“Yes?” 

“I’d probably be okay with that… I mean… if you want to” you add the last part, now desperately hoping this wasn’t some awful joke. 

Barley smiles, reaching forward to brush a piece of hair from your face. “Do you wanna go on a date with me?” He asks softly, apparently having gained some confidence back. 

You nod, leaning into his touch before you realize you’re doing it. 

“Tomorrow night?” he suggests. 

Again, you nod, not trusting your voice. 

Barley smiles, his attention turning back to the tv. The match was starting soon, the announcers already talking about what they expect to happen. He leans back, his arm resting behind you on the top of the couch. Not an uncommon thing for the elf boy. What was uncommon, however, was you relaxing against his side and how right it felt.

Without a word, perhaps because he wasn’t sure he could trust his voice either, Barley brings his arm down around you, holding you against him. 

If you had the courage yourself to look up at him, you would have seen the flushing upon his cheeks. But either way this was comfortable and you weren’t in a hurry to end it any time soon. 

*

A few hours later Barley's mom returns home. Maaaybe a little drunk which results in her cooing loudly when she finds you and Barley asleep and cuddling on the couch. 

This, and her half stumbling up the stairs, manages to rouse you and Barley from your comfortable nap.

Barley yawns, and slowly gets to his feet. 

"Come on, I'll drive you home" he offers another yawn soon follows.

"Don't worry, I can drive myself" you stretch, not really pleased with the idea of making the trip home yourself.

"You're too tired- not safe" Barley half murmurs. 

"You're too tired" you retort. 

"You should stay here… on the couch… or I can take the couch" he stumbles over his words. 

You nod in agreement flopping back on the couch. When Barley doesn't leave you raise a brow in question. 

"I was just thinking…" he shuffles from one foot to the other.

You watch him with patient eyes, now a little more alert. You'd let him say what he needed, when he needed not wanting to rush him. 

"I mean… if I don't drive you home I can't kiss you goodbye…" 

His ears were a dark maroon by now and you can't keep the smile from your eyes. His sweetness, his bashfulness, just how God damn cute he was. And most of all… how much you wanted to kiss his pink tinted face. 

So you did. 

You stood, quicker than he could react, grabbed his face on either side, and brought his lips to yours. After a moment of shock Barley’s arms come around you, keeping you too him. 

You can't say for sure if the head rush you felt was from the kiss or standing too suddenly, but you chose to think it was the kiss as you give him several more little pecks before eventually breaking apart with a yawn. 

"Better?" You ask, your head falling forward to lean against his shoulder. 

Barley nods before pulling back, calling a good night to you, and hurrying to his room. 

You chuckle softly before flopping once again on the couch… there'd be time tomorrow to deal with all this… but for now… sleep was calling and the old couch was far too inviting… 

*And that’s all folks*

[ga-yuu]

~Kurama~Dramatic END~

Warning!!! Sexual content below because.....Yes! You guessed it right! Kurama just needs a reason to touch her,

Chapter 26

*

*

*

--------Part 1--------

A few days after Kurama's declaration to learn how to be romantic....

Kurama: "So this hot springs, huh?"

Yoshino(blushing): "Kurama! Your wings! Cover your wings!"

Kurama: "It's alright, no one's here."

Kurama, stretching his wings comfortably in the warm water, says back to me.

(I never thought I'd end up in hot springs with Kurama.)

I hid my body with a body towel in the murky white water.

Then I started thinking about what happened earlier today.

------FLASHBACK-----

Yoichi: "Huh? You wanna be romantic?"

Kurama: "Yeah. What exactly do you do when you fall in love?"

Kurama asks a sudden question as soon as he enters Yoichi-san's room.

Yoichi: "Hmm...it depends on each individual."

(That's right.)

Kurama: "Give me a proper answer or die."

Yoichi: "Scary~"

Yoshino: "Kurama! Don't threaten people..."

Yoichi: "Hehe...It's really unbelievable to see Kurama asking for others' opinions. I don't know what kind of sorcery is this. But don't worry, I'll give you some tips and tricks."

(You're so reliable!)

Kurama: "Then spit it out."

Yoshino: "Kurama!"

Yoichi: "Relax Yoshino. I'm used to it."

Waving his hand in a relaxed expression, Yoichi-san continued to speak.

Yoichi: "How about a short trip? You had a hard time on the battlefield, right? A short trip will help you guys stretch your wings and relax. Start from there."

Kurama: "Is that how all relationships start?"

Hehe....Kurama's cold stare is incredibly cute. Even Yoichi-san is giggling.

Kurama: "I don't see how being in a different place is going to change anything."

Yoichi: "You are a very unemotional person, Kurama. You see, when you fall in love, you'll feel the world around you changing. You'll start feeling different and sometimes end up doing things you don’t usually do."

Yoshino: "....I think I understand what you mean."

Kurama: "You do?"

Yoichi-san nods in agreement as Kurama watched us cluelessly.

Yoichi: "You'll get to know each other better if you go to a hot spring. I know a nice hot spring that you can go to on a day trip. I hope that will help."

------FLASHBACK ENDS------

Kurama: "But I don't see what's the point of bathing in hot springs. If all you want to do is soak in water, then we can do it in an ordinary river too, right?"

Yoshino: "Wow! Your feathers are falling off..."

He stood up and flapped his wings, sending a huge splash from his black wings.

(Speaking of bathing in a river, when I met Kurama again in Kamakura....he was bathing in a river.)

The memories of that time are vivid in my mind.

------FLASHBACK------

Kurama: “—-What an ‘unpleasant surprise. Who gave you the permission to be in my sight?”

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

(I thought you were going to kill me that time....)

Same as that time, I looked away from Kurama's admiringly well-formed body as much as possible....

Kurama: "Why are you spacing out?"

Yoshino: "....!?"

He grabs me by the arm and pulls me up, exposing my body under the sunlight.

Yoshino(blushing): "....What are you doing?"

Kurama: "I don't want to go on like this. You have to teach me how to enjoy the hot springs."

Kurama said, paying no attention to my embarrassment.

(Come on now....!)

(It's no use trying to teach Kurama about the concept of ‘shame’. If this happens...)

Yoshino(blushing): "Soak your shoulders for now."

Kurama: "Like this."

Holding me in his arms, Kurama dips into the hot water...

(Good. Now my body is hidden.)

Yoshino(blushing): "Now keep counting slowly till 100."

Kurama: "That's too much."

Yoshino(blushing): "You have to soak slowly to get warm to the core."

Kurama: "All right."

Surprisingly straightforward in his reply, Kurama hugged me from behind.

(!!!!)

Yoshino(blushing): "W-What is this position?"

Kurama: "You didn't specify how to sit while taking a dip."

I tried to resist, but he held me tightly and his hot breath hit the nape of my neck, making me lose my strength.

Yoshino(blushing): "....Don't talk."

Kurama(evil smile): "Don't you want me to count?"

------Part 2-------

Yoshino(blushing): "....Don't talk."

Kurama(evil smile): "Don't you want me to count?"

Kurama’s voice contained a horrifying and dangerous sweetness.

Kurama: “1..2..3....”

(Ah..)

One of Kurama’s free hands slides over my skin under the hot water.

Yoshino(blushing): "...What...are you...?”

Kurama: “What’s wrong?”

Yoshino(blushing): “Mmm..mm....”

(His hands are going in all directions...not good...)

I felt a sweet numbness at the touch of his hand crawling across my breasts.

Kurama: “I’ll continue. 4..5..6....”

Yoshino(blushing): “Haa....ahh....wai..ahh...”

My skin was softened by the hot water and his fingers played with my pink nipples casually.

Kurama: “7..8..9...”

(No....more....)

Yoshino(blushing): “D-Don’t...do...in...outside like...ahhh....”

Kurama: “10.”

Yoshino(blushing): “Ahh...”

Suddenly a finger moves down between my legs out of nowhere and my body jumped.

Yoshino(blushing): “Nnn....ah....”

Kurama: “I see. The warmed body responds better. Plus...you don’t have anything to cover. So I can touch you as much as I like.”

Yoshino(blushing): “This...is not...have you enjoy the hot springs....”

(I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s doing....)

Kurama: “Keep enduring it, till I reach 100.”

Our tightly pressed bodies and his lips on my neck make me go crazy.

Yoshino(blushing): “Mm...hot....”

Kurama: “Do want me to stop? Tell me if you want to get out of water.”

Yoshino(blushing): “Ahh...too bright....”

Kurama: “You’re so selfish.”

(I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT ESPECIALLY FROM KURAMA!!!!!)

Kurama: “Yoshino, it’s annoying. You count from where I stopped.”

(Sure! I’ll count quickly and get out of this humiliation...)

Yoshino(blushing): “11-12-13-14-15-ahhh.....”

Kurama(evil smile): “Count properly, or you’ll have to start from the beginning.”

I trembled as I felt his hot tongue over my earlobe.

Yoshino(blushing): “Because....Kurama gets in the...way....Mmm....”

Kurama(evil smile): “I’m just enjoying the hot spring...or more accurately, I’m enjoying soaking in the hot springs with you.”

(...This is terrible....can’t count...like this...)

Kurama: “Keep counting.”

Yoshino(blushing): “Mmm...14...”

I reflexively obeyed his orders which were given in a low voice.

Kurama lifted one end of his lips when he saw that....

.................

(I’m totally flushed....)

Kurama: “I had a nice bath for the first time in a long time. I completely understood the benefits of hot springs.”

As we walk through the flowery field near the hot springs, I glared at Kurama with my red cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Oh yeah...

2. I couldn’t enjoy it..(+4/+4)

3. Good for you...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoshino(blushing): “Too bad, I couldn’t enjoy it....”

Kurama: “Stop complaining. I treated you well enough. You were so exhausted, that I had to carry you all the way to my room. Be grateful.”

Yoshino(blushing): “Yeah. And WHO made me tired?”

Kurama: “It was me.”

It was so refreshing to hear someone saying that without taking any offense.

(At the end of the day, I couldn’t fight back because of his straightforwardness.)

Kurama: “I heard that the cold weather makes humans sick. Let’s go back now.”

When Kurama takes my hand....

Yoshino: “Hm?’

Kurama: “....?”

(I wonder if that person crouching in front of the bushes is a visitor of the hot springs too.)

(But he looks familiar...)

Kurama: “....! That’s!”

Ibuki: “Hm?”

Yoshino: “Ibuki!”

(No way!?)

When he turned to look at me, all at once blood drained from my face and I backed away.

Kurama: “-----Why are you still alive? Well, who cares? Let’s continue from where we left off, Ibuki.”

Kurama looked at Ibuki with an icy cold look.

Ibuki: “Shut up, Kurama. You’ll wake the kitten.”

(Hm, kitten?)

Kurama: “...........”

Kurama obediently kept quiet and looked at Ibuki’s hands with a disinterested face.

A white fluffy kitten was sleeping comfortably in there.

Yoshino: “Umm......?”

Kurama: “Don’t ask, Yoshino. It reminded me of one of this man’s incomprehensible tastes. He-----has a strange obsession with cats.”

Ibuki: “What’s so hard to understand? They’re the cutest thing in the world.”

Despite his complaint, his palm was moving back and forth across the kitten’s back lovingly.

(That was unexpected!!)

Kurama: “Still, die.”

--------Part 3-------

Kurama: “Still, die.”

Yoshino: “Wait! Not here....”

I felt the wind around us start to blow unnaturally and hurriedly grabbed Kurama’s arm, which reluctantly stopped moving.

Ibuki: “You have a woman with you now, Kurama. Learn to settle things through talking than using violence as a solution for everything.”

Kurama: “All right. Would like to have a blood bath or be completely mutilated?”

(This is not how you do it!)

Yoshino: “I think you need to calm down....Ibuki doesn’t seem to be in a mood to fight, right?”

Ibuki: “You’re right. After that war, I lost a lot of my magic power. Thank you, Kurama.”

Kurama: “You deserved it anyway. And  you, Yoshino, why are you talking to a man who tried to slaughter you?”

(You’re right, but....)

Yoshino: “I’m curious about Ibuki too....”

Kurama: “Ha?”

Ibuki: “....Ohh.”

Then Kurama glares at Ibuki.

(Oh, I know now!)

Yoshino: “I think it’s because he’s similar to Kurama.”

Kurama: “I and him are SAME!>”

Ibuki: “How are we similar?”

(Hmmmm.....)

Yoshino: “------I think it’s the aesthetics of it, even though it looks like  it’s driven by crazy logic.”

......It was just after I was captured by Ibuki and subjected to Yasuchika-san’s manipulation spell.

-------FLASHBACK------

Ibuki: “You must be in a lot of pain, but you’re strong. I like you. I can’t wait to see your face when you cry.”

Yoshino: “I….will never despair in your presence.”

Ibuki: “What?”

Yoshino: “I will prove to you the strength of humans that I believe in.”

Ibuki: “……………… Interesting. Then let’s play that game. Show me what you’re really made of.”

------FLASHBACK END-----

(Yes, when I saw Ibuki’s eyes at that moment...for some reason I felt like it resembled Kurama.)

Yoshino: “I still can’t forgive you for what you made me do. But I also think that somehow I accepted his way of life because he and Kurama came into contact with each other’s values on the very edge like that.”

(So maybe that’s why I couldn’t really hate Ibuki.)

Kurama: “..........”

Ibuki, who had been listening with his mouth agape, muttered quietly.

Ibuki: “----You’re a woman with good instincts. No wonder you won Kurama’s heart.”

(Eh?)

Yoshino: “What?”

Ibuki: “Nothing.”

Then a soft smile came across Ibuki’s lips.

Ibuki: “I shouldn’t have given you to Kurama. I should have noticed you earlier on and have played with you instead.”

(Ibuki....?)

His voice was calm and clear, with a hint of emotion.

When I was standing there confused-----

Kurama: “It’s unpleasant to see you imagine an impossible future.”

(Wow)

As if to break Ibuki’s gaze, Kurama hides me behind his back.

Ibuki: “I’m possessive too, just like you.”

Kurama: “I’ll pull out that tongue of yours if you say one more time that we’re similar.”

Ibuki: “Oh dear, why do you want to deny the similarities between us, Kurama? I’ve had so much fun raising you, don’t you know?”

Kurama: “More of the same nonsense.”

Ibuki: “I’m serious. I wouldn’t have carried around cute little boy like you for all those years.”

Ibuki giggled as he reminisced about the old days.

Ibuki: “Seeing you again at the battle that night, reminded me of our first meeting.”

(I’m sure Ibuki is a distorted person....)

(But I think he really likes Kurama.)

Kurama: “The words you speak are toxic. I will not ask you to mean it now. But your power, which I have longed to surpass, has not faded with the passing of time.”

Ibuki: “......!”

(Kurama...)

It was the first time I had ever heard Kurama say anything close to praise for Ibuki.

Ibuki: “Heh, jealous?”

-----Part 4-----

Ibuki: “Heh, jealous?”

Kurama: “Stop joking. I’m going to take the strength I’ve developed under you and go further.”

Ibuki: “-----See. You're being cute again.”

(Kurama was so disgusted by Ibuki’s habit of playing with others and the stupidity of those around him that he had to say goodbye.)

(But if he hadn’t recognized Ibuki’s strength, I think he would have given up on him much sooner.)

It was probably inevitable that their paths had diverged, but I couldn’t help thinking of a future if they hadn’t parted ways.

Ibuki: “You’re getting stronger, my son.”

Kurama(glares cutely): “Who’s your son? I’ll kill you.”

Yoshino: “No bloodshed here!!!!”

In response to Kurama’s death threat, the kitten in Ibuki’s hands woke up.

Ibuki: “Yosh Yosh. Don’t be scared.”

Kitten: “Mew.”

Ibuki: “....Oww.”

The kitten clawed Ibuki’s finger, jumps off his hand, and runs away.

Kurama: “Such an interesting little animal.”

(Is Ibuki mad.....?)

Ibuki was silent for a moment, but then-----

Ibuki: “He has a good temperament. A cat with a bright future.”

Ibuki, muttering with a straight face, looks at the kitten’s regretfully and stands up.

Ibuki: “See you, Kurama. And you too, Yoshino.....I’ll play with you sometime when I feel like it.”

Yoshino: “Eh?”

Ibuki turned and walked away, not caring that I shouted in surprise.

Kurama: “Yoshino. We’re going to go to the hot springs one more time to get rid of Ibuki out of our minds.”

Yoshino: “One more time!?”

Kurama pulled me by my waist and urged me to walk.

Kurama: “What the hell was that man even doing here?”

.....................

After part ways with Yoshino and Kurama, Ibuki went outside the inn only to see------

Ibuki: “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Yasuchika: “I want to kill you for making me wait for this long.”

Akihito: “Unforgivable, right? I wish I could have been in the hot springs.”

Ibuki: “Brats.”

Akihito looks at Ibuki, who shrugs and joins.

Akihito: “So? Did you get the point of having Yasuchika find out where Kurama and Yoshino are?”

Ibuki: “.......... It made me realize the value of what I’ve lost. Life is bittersweet.”

Yasuchika: “Wow! When Ibuki talks like a human, it makes me want to puke!”

Akihito: “Look, I have goosebumps too.”

Ibuki: “Are you just here to tease me?”

Akihito: “Actually, it’s rare to see you like this, Ibuki. It’s refreshing.”

Giggling, Akihito started walking.

Akihito: “It’s a miracle to see you having a change of heart for the first time in 1200 years. The fact that there are miracles in this world is a joy for people like us.”

Both Yasuchika and Ibuki walked along with him through the trees.

------While also hoping for a miracle like that to happen deep in their hearts.

...................

That night.....

Yoshino: “I really enjoyed our trip!!”

Kurama: “Yeah. But, there were few interruptions along the way though.”

When we returned, we huddled together in the warmth of the cushions in Kurama’s room.

Yoshino: “I was also surprised to see Ibuki. But I’m glad nothing bad happened.”

(Ibuki’s magic is yet to return and the Imperial Court is unlikely to make any major moves...so we can enjoy our peace for the time being.)

The Shogunate and The Rebels are still on a temporary truce and also keeping an eye on the Imperial Court.

Yoshino: “When the Court’s plans are revealed and resolved then....the Shogunate and the Rebels will fight again, right?”

Kurama: “The feud between Yoritomo and Yoshitsune is deep. It is not easy for a human to forget his hatred. When the time comes to fight again----you’ll be sad, right?”

Yoshino: “Mm.”

When I imagined it, my heart hurts like it’s being torn apart.

Yoshino: “I’m sure I’ll suffer a great deal.....but I’ll never leave Kurama.”

(Because I didn’t choose to live with Kurama half-heartedly.)

Kurama: “I see.”

-------Part 5------

Kurama: “I see. Your suffering is yours and yours alone. No matter what I do, I will never be able to take that away from you.”

Kurama murmured with a deep voice.

Kurama: “But I promise, as a man who loves you, I will give you peace of mind until you stop crying.”

(Kurama.....)

Again and again, I am overwhelmed and swallowed up by the magnitude of his feelings.

Yoshino: “Mm....thank you.”

(Kurama always keeps his promise.)

(I know that....so I’m not scared anymore.)

Kurama: “You have beautiful eyes. I remember being irresistibly drawn to those eyes even before you and I got together.”

(Ah.....)

Kurama gently pushes me down and his face comes closer.

Kurama: “It’s that look that shines so strangely in the dark of night.”

Those words bring back memories.....

-------FLASHBACK------

Kurama: “—-What do you even know about me? I gave you the right to speak and now you’re getting on my head.”

Yoshino: “…..I certainly don’t know anything about Kurama. But still, the weak observe the strong.”

Kurama: “……………..”

Yoshino: “At least it’s faster for me to get to know Kurama…. than for Kurama, who has no interest in humans, to get to know me.”

Kurama: “—–Those eyes.”

Yoshino: “hmm?”

Kurama: “I don’t like your eyes. I hate the way how it’s shining so strangely in the dark night.”

------FLASHBACK ENDS-------

(It was the night when Ibuki kidnapped me and gave me to Kurama.)

Yoshino: “I know a lot more about Kurama now than I did back then.”

Kurama(blushing): “It’s still not enough. After wanting all of you, I’m still want more and more....I’d rather force myself to conquer all of you than hiding you from the rest of the world.”

(.....Mm.)

Kurama(blushing): “And the brilliance of your eyes.”

His red eyes approach with an insatiable heat.

Along with that, Kurama’s palm covers my eyes.

Yoshino: “Mmm.....”

In the darkness, I feel my lips being robbed.

A sweet sigh leaks from my mouth and his tongue invites itself in.

Yoshino: “Haa....ahh...Ku...ra...maa....”

(Mm...no more...)

I was even more sensitive now that my eyes are covered and I was easily overwhelmed by Kurama.

When my head was in a haze, he removes his hand.....

(.....Beautiful.)

I see Kurama looking down at me defenselessly.

Kurama: “Yoshino.”

His deep voice calls my name and softly bites my neck.

Yoshino: “Nnn....Ku...rama...”

Kurama: “Why are you keeping your voice down....? I like the way you resist, but you don’t have to fight greed, do you?”

Yoshino: “Nm...because...”

(Because it’s so embarrassing that I’m the only one drowning so much.)

Kurama: “I’m the only one who has the privilege to hear your sweet voice.....leave yourself to pleasure and accept my heart with your body.”

I can’t resist anymore. Everywhere he touches, just melts.

Yoshino: “Ahh....Ku...ra..ma....Mm...too....”

I put my arms around his neck and beg for him.

Kurama: “Finally gave up resisting?”

Yoshino(blushing): “How can I not...when you’re being so romantic...”

Kurama: “....Cheeky woman.”

(We will deepen our love as often as we can. In our own way...and fast.)

Kurama whispered to me and held me down, forcing his body in mine more roughly than usual....

On that night, I received the love of a lone demon who never belonged to anyone.....

fin.

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