#not a hypothetical to make memes so you can ‘cope’

[kazhanko-art]

It’s fun watching other North Americans freak out about WW3 (again) like it’s actually gonna be fought on our soil and not in other countries (such as the ones currently at war) like the previous two world wars.

[daylightcommand3]

Dear, @purplekoop

GRRRR RAHH War Bots is consuming me! I keep finding myself thinking about the far off hypotheticals and all the little extraneous details:

What would box art look like? So far I can see Wilderoad and Calber staring at each other from the corners of the art. A random map from the game is the background. Other bots from the game are all rushing towards each other ready for a fight.

What kinds of PvP maps will there be? One idea I had is an abandoned amusement park based on a once-beloved-but-now-forsaken gaming company that is now being used for training.

Also I had the potential* headcanon that the PvP gameplay is the War Bots** training.

*(I say potential because i don't know if you already had that idea. I don't want to assume.)

**(Not to be annoying myself. But I know that War Bots is not the final name of the game nor the team. I just wanted to make that clear real quick. Sorry if this sounds rude. I genuinely don't know how to phrase this without sounding like an asshole.)

What will the trailer look like? I can see a rough draft. A little rendered animation of showing Wilderoad walking onto a PVP map. Chaos is everywhere. We then get quick clips of gameplay footage of characters using their abilities. The obligatory pop song playing in my head bounces between "Cut Off" by Set It Off and "Magic 8" also by Set It Off. (I listened to the album these songs were in recently while I had War Bots on the brain)

By the way, I see Wilderoad as the face of War Bots mainly because they were literally the introduction to it, and if I remembered correctly, they were also one of the first characters made. And if i'm remembering REALLY correctly, I believe you yourself said they were the face.

What will the cosmetics be like? This question really started when you mentioned the quickly scrapped penguin's moveset being given to Velenna. I instantly thought "Alright, Velenna should be given a penguin skin then." Then i realized that I don't recall you ever mentioning cosmetics. Would it be more TF2-esque with a loadout system? Or would it be more Overwatch 2-esque with a simple complete skin system? Speaking of Overwatch, I couldn't help but think of an "Ancient Heroes" skinline that gives our favorite bots a familiar look. Some mappings are rather cut and dry, while some really get you to think (Poppett in particular: Tracer? Lucio? D.va? Kiriko????). I also briefly imagined a "Coat" mechanic of sorts. Where you could merely change the color of the bots bodies. Like putting on a new coat of paint. (As you can see, I'm kinda using War Bots as a cope and a way to wean me off of Overwatch. Or at least attempting to.)

What would the community jokes and memes be like? What would be our nerf Genji? I can already see a meme about Necross, but I won't since I plan to make that one a reality eventually.

Bot Select? I want to see all the bots lined up in rows and columns.

Of course. What game would be complete without your favorite thing: figures! Not to make you drool, but imagine if a Wilderoad figure was right there on your desk. Or Formann? Or Poppett? Or Velenna? Or Navea? Or etc etc etc.

It's all so just- GRRRrrr OHHHhhh, so enticing, so magical, so beautiful. I'm proud to say that I'm on the ground floor of War Bots. I love being a part of this. I can't wait for what comes next.

Sincerely, G

PS: I have absolutely no idea when the rest of The Gardeners posts will be finished. I have solid ideas on all of them (minus one). I just haven't had the time to write them. This week I'm focusing on a big midterm and have the usual load of homework. I'm trying to get a lot done this week so Spring Break I can truly relax and write to my hearts content. Of course, the biggest roadblock to my writing is that I'm busy writing a script for my university's comedy skit program club. And that has a deadline of the week after Spring Break. So yeah. Sometime after that I suppose. I will let you know that the next Gardener I'll be going over is the one with blades.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings!

[radioactive-earthshine]

do you have any like,,, silly little konbart headcanons? just like,,, little things they do ya know?

!!!

You have come to right place at just the right time.

Here are a few silly little hcs for Konbart that they do (non exhaustive).

1.) This one is recycled from another post. They play "extreme hide-and-seek" where they hide over a huge area and have to rely on their special skills to find each other. Bart cheats at this. Kon caught him cheating and shamed him on social media.

2.) They banter! A lot. It took Bart a little while to understand how to banter but once he did he and Kon rarely shut up, much to the annoyance of everyone.

3.) This isn't even really a hc it is comic supported but they love making up their own game rules with existing games ie "Random Trivia". They love finding new ways of playing games and throwing in new rules or sometimes even combining games together in ways that only make sense to them. Most of the time the changes are just to make each other laugh but sometimes it's to make the games harder.

4.) Bart just slips little goodies in Kon's pockets randomly through the day. Little candies (Batman's lollipops) or tiny figurines he found discarded in the street.

5.) At least once a week they have to pretend they are raptors and 'stalk' each other.

6.) They make memes of themselves and everyone they know and send them back and forth, it's a coping mechanism.

7.) They make up sound effects and words to describe the various sounds they hear. "Fizzlezop" "Byobop" "Deededede... dop!"

8.) Kon has absolutely just reached over and tapped Bart's tongue when he's "bleping" while thinking.

9.) Sometimes while they are on patrol they have impromptu games of tag.

10.) They riff on movies they just aren't getting into. Because they both missed out on years of formative development they have a lot of movies to catch up on and sometimes even a classic and well loved movie just doesn't really capture them so they riff and tear into it. Not so silly here but really they do make sure to spend at least one night every other week just watching films to fulfill a baseline.

11.) Needless to say hypothetical conversations and ridiculous debates (part of bantering) is very common between them like "Can you really slap a chicken fast enough to cook it?"

12.) They have really silly little competitions like "How many dogs can I get to like me" or "How many pictures of random orange cats can I take" in a day and the loser makes dinner or whatever it is they decide on.

13.) Kon likes to touch. He's a very tactile (hah) person and thus will always look for an excuse to touch, or be touched by Bart. It's a game they play sometimes where they "accidentally" bump into each other. Or "accidentally" sit on each other or "accidentally" hug. Cissie just wants them to hug without it being dramatic sometimes.

14.) They sometimes come up with wild fake childhood memories and present them to the rest of their friends. The one with the most believable AND outrageous story wins and it becomes part of their official lore. They both get weirdly competitive about this.

15.) They cast themselves and all of their friends in movies and shows and have ridiculous debates about it. Kon just doesn't believe he is a Hobbit but Bart is absolutely correct when he insists Kon is Samwise.

16.) Butterfly kisses. Silly sweet little butterfly kisses.

17.) Obnoxious victory hugs that take to the air and involve a lot of screaming.

18.) Sweet/Silly, they trace words and shapes on each others skin and they have to guess what it is. Sweet because it is intimate. Silly because they will choose the most random of things sometimes. Most of the time it is sensual and sweet but Bart has to throw in sometimes "noodle" and it derails the mood for a moment.

[masschase]

7 and 50 in the basics ship ask meme for Matt and Casey :)

Ship ask meme: the basics

7. How often do they say “I love you”? When I write them it seems like it's all the fucking time. I think once they're out of the really early lovey-dovey stage they probably say it a couple of times a day, especially if they have been a little rough on each other workwise like... you have to remember Casey finds it really important that Matt continues to challenge her as his lieutenant so sometimes a quick "I love you" is needed once they've come to an agreement just to remind each other this is purely professional.

I think they almost always say it before they go to sleep, often right after sex when they're still kind of... entwined shall we say. But if they don't say it then he will initiate it afterwards as he knows she passes out quickly and he wants it to be the last thing she hears. She mumbles it back and then falls asleep with the light still on almost every time.

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better? God I hope not! Because I write them I can't think of a circumstance in which I would write that they would unless it was an au! I feel like I imply they will die together whether that's in their 20s/30s or their 90s, and if it came down to it I think I would pick ending their story with that rather than a breakup, which I know is dramatic as hell but um... hi!

I just don't see the sticking point, I don't see why they would end things if following the path I've already anticipated for them. Their biggest instability at first is more or less just Casey's commitmentphobia and I hope I make it clear that that extends to the general idea of commitment and that her excuses for not getting into a relationship are about as flimsy as a paper bag. She will be the first to spout "If I fall in love it will be forever" and "only the deepest love will induce me to matrimony" so actually falling in love is such a huge deal that she's unlikely to give up on that.

Only thing I can think of is the pressure of life circumstances and if they started taking that out on each other. They do both tire of having to fight and run all the time at one point, but I think I've already summarised Matt's solution to that which should allow them to hide from the worst threats indefinitely.

As in real life having children would represent probably the biggest challenge, especially the jump from 1 to 3, and yes, in the nicest possible way I'm a believer that children are more likely to cause cracks in a relationship than bring people together, but that's not to say those cracks are irrepairable it just takes work. But I honestly think this would be easier on them than on an irl couple. I've said this before but "it takes a village" as they say, and they have one. I don't know if I've mentioned but Victory is the first human child born on Ragnarok which just clarifies the sheer amount of support they would have around them.

So in terms of their relationship ending I see it as more likely where one of them dies or Cass get's trapped in another Boss's universe when multiverse jumping but I feel like the former is a different ask and the latter is just a hypothetical potential situation which I've been given cause to wonder about at times.

I think how they would cope would really depend what stage they were in because honestly at the beginning he's always kind of thinking she still might leave him and his confidence in her grows over time and he'd be crushed to finally start believing then have it end. Whereas this is her first serious loving relationship so to lose him in the beginning would just close her off again but even worse this time, but going through the journey of a relationship to have it end for a good reason would be devastating to her.

I think it would cause a lot of problems work wise, I think their loving bond personally actually gives them the strength to again, challenge each other when working together. I think they would really need some distance before rebuilding their friendship and work would make that hard. I think they could be friends, and if they did have children by that point they would definitely make sure they were civil to each other, but I'm not sure they could be super close friends again. It would lead to them blowing up or getting back together depending on the reasons for the breakup.

I think Casey would lash out more verbally whereas Matt would just silently fume in response. I mean, she really holds a grudge.  I think she would therefore be the one who takes longer to get over it. She'd be able to move on sexually but struggle romantically; parallelling Johnny after Aisha's death. But maybe, eventually she could consider thar hey, at least he didn't die, and look at considering another romantic relationship.

Matt would be devastated about it of course and would heavily berate himself no matter whose fault it was, but I think eventually he would move on before Casey would even if it took some time to have the oppurtunity. He's more of a romantic but he's far experienced with love and loss and emotions.

I like to think I'm at least fairly pragmatic about them, I like to think what they have took a long time to build and that they earned their happy ending, which I'm drawn to over more idealistic ideas of love. So I think it's interesting to at least think about this stuff would happen but yeah, main universe, they don't, they won't.

They die together.

[astrolovecosmos]

Vertex: What We Can’t Control

Vertex is a point located in the right-hand side of a chart that represents the intersection of the ecliptic and the prime vertical. In astrology, it is considered an auxiliary or extra Descendant. Some astrologers refer to the Vertex as the “third angle” of a chart.  It is associated with wish fulfillment, awakenings or realizations, the idea of destiny or fate, and some use it for moments that are life changing such as meeting your spouse, a death of a loved one, birth of a child, etc. My focus isn’t on predictive astrology and because of this I don’t use Vertex often in my own readings. Vertex can be popular in synastry but I also don’t typically incorporate it into those charts. I analyze it from the perspective of how we approach what we can’t control, realizations, and our view or approach to wishes and “fate”. 

Vertex in Aries: There is a pull or call to be a leader in some fashion. This person may also feel like they are constantly fighting against “fate” or has a focus on making their own destiny. This person can feel like they are always falling into situations where they are forced to lead, fight, or assert. Defining the self may be important to feeling fulfilled. Self-expression and honoring the importance of the individual can help them feel more stable in a chaotic world. 

Vertex in Taurus: Anyone familiar with that scene from Frozen 2 where Olaf goes “we’re calling this controlling what you can when things feel out of control”? That is the first thing I thought of for Vertex in Taurus. The fear and frustration surrounding what they cannot control can be real. In terms of fate many describe this position as being about finding inner security and being more independent. For many Taurus placements there is the reoccurring theme of learning to overcome fear of the unknown, let go of control, to find flexibility, but most importantly to cultivate inner stability. With Vertex this individual may find themselves falling down a rabbit hole of unpredictable fate, but none of that should matter as long as they understand the power they hold in their own actions and decisions. 

Vertex in Gemini: Here we see someone who tries to get a handle on the unknown or their own destiny via learning as much as they can about the world, themselves, the occult, science, etc. Communication is also important to them in easing anxieties or feeding curiosity. They love to theorize or talk hypotheticals. Here we almost see a reflection of their polar opposite Sagittarius - there is a desire to find meaning in the world. Communicating their needs, fears, and wants can be helpful with feeling fulfilled or like they are on the right path. 

Vertex in Cancer: All of the water signs have a powerful relationship with the idea of fate and Vertex. Here we see themes of strong intuition, attachment, or maybe even psychic abilities. There is a close tie to their fate, whether they are making their own destiny, getting hunches about what path to take, or have world swallowing doubt and fears. Their relationship to the unknown, the instability of life, and to ideas of destiny are deep and felt strongly. With Cancer there is a focus on protecting and nurturing the self and others. They need to be careful of focusing too much on taking care of others or taking on their feelings. Reexamining family, making a new family, or dealing with family cycles or trauma may be in the cards for them. Attending to the inner child or wounded self is important in making themselves sane in such a crazy world. 

Vertex in Leo: Individuality, creativity, self-expression, and empowerment are themes surrounding this Vertex. To become the best version of yourself could summarize this placement when talking about destiny. To adapt or cope with a world that is outside of their control they must create their own world or path. To stand out and/or lead the way is what will help them feel most fulfilled in life. Authenticity is a buzzword now-a-days but that trait or way of being is a necessity for Vertex in Leo as they plummet through the universe. Feelings of grandeur, uniqueness, power, or nobility may go through them sometimes. While they need to be careful of not letting this go to their head or tripping them up - these feelings of power are important in shaping their own future and self. 

Vertex in Virgo: Much like Taurus there is a fear of the unknown or not being in control. To find inner stability could be a struggle. The focus for Vertex in Virgo is to find a way to feel purposeful, needed, or useful. This gives them a sense of direction and stability. This Vertex prefers routine, predictability, and structure. They may be overly practical in terms of fate - believing there are no other influences that determine their life other than them. Similar to Vertex in fire they can have a “I make my own destiny” attitude. Vertex in Virgo may have a pull to work on their intuition. The Vertex sits on an axis like all other points in a chart. The opposite sign is the Anti-Vertex which some astrologers believe to be how we shape our fate or what we have to offer in relationships and life. With Virgo Vertex and Pisces as the Anti-Vertex there is an opportunity to hone their intuition. On the subject of helping others or finding meaning - it is listening to their feelings and hunches that might lead them to how they can do this. 

Vertex in Libra: Trying to see their fate in other people or believing other people are their fate is associated. Learning to create their own destiny or standing on their own or standing out can be a lesson surrounding this Vertex. Finding peace by connecting with others and feeling less alone is also associated, especially in terms of dealing with what cannot be controlled or foreseen. Cooperation and adaptability are strengths needed to feel whole. 

Vertex in Scorpio: There is a lot to be said about willpower here. This person likely is a strong believer in making their own destiny. Strong premonitions and hunches can lead them into believing in a higher power or feeling in tune with the spiritual or unknown. Scorpio is pulled to master their turbulent emotions and intensity as well as conquer and understand the mysteries inside themselves. It’s about learning self-control but also when to unleash. To transform and do all of the hard work in the background so that when life throws you curveballs you are ready. They master themselves, master their life, master the universe. 

Vertex in Sagittarius: It is through faith in themselves, the universe, or that everything will turn out okay that this person gets through the unpredictability of life. There can be a desire to find meaning, especially through spirituality, religion, or a unique philosophy. Sagittarius is a sign that chases truth and by chasing it they can make sense of the world. Being in the role of teacher and student helps them feel right in the universe. They must always be searching, learning, and exploring. 

Vertex in Capricorn: In a world they can’t control this person can face a lot of challenges. They can be tempted into acting authoritative or controlling. However respect and self-authority are important for this person to feel more stable, concrete, fulfilled. To lead others with a level-head and patience is the best route for them. Even better is to focus on their own success and lead by example. This placement is prone to a highly realistic and sometimes negative view of the world and possibly the idea of destiny. This placement can bring about big rewards and depth when they listen to their heart and to loved ones and when they focus. 

Vertex in Aquarius: Aquarius is known for not fearing the unknown and embracing the unpredictable. When Vertex is in this sign there are lessons about acceptance, tolerance, cooperation, and communication. It is the craziness of people and the harm people can do that gets them wanting to become a hermit or to leave the narrative. There can be a temptation to hide away from intimacy, passion, and attachment. The Futurama “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore” meme is for them. Being boxed in by the idea of “destiny” might not appeal to them. To feel fulfilled in life is to feel connected and belonging. Embracing all different types of people and relationships can help them feel more sure of the world, of humanity. 

Vertex in Pisces: This person likely is a strong believer in fate and destiny. If you are one who believes in psychic abilities, this could be a strong indicator for some. This person should be careful of getting lost in wild dreams or a big picture that doesn’t include themselves or include others in their lives. Fate may have big plans for them but it is through their loved ones and how they can help others that they feel most fulfilled. They may feel like life is always throwing them into situations where they are forced to help or to empathize. Learning discernment and protection is important. They don’t need to help or heal everyone, in fact it is in their choice who to help that might make them feel the most sure and solid in life. 

[welcometomy20s]

June 30, 2021

Coco (and Lulu’s) Legacy

Coco wrote the book on how to be a Hololive member, from front to back. She plotted out how one can amass an audience, how to interact and build a worldwide fandom, how to integrate ideas of the audience to the grand narrative of the company, how to deal with tee-tee and pairings, how to cope when YouTube strikes you down in its impunity, and how to cope when Cancel Brigade comes to destroy your work, along with how to bring a more cohesive workplace, how to protect yourself from the unmooring of identity that is inherent in VTube, and finally how to leave when you are in a rollercoaster that is only going up. Coco wrote the book and now we follow.

AsaCoco was brilliant from its outset. Having a place to know the ins and outs of various members of Hololive was a great way to connect the rabbit hole. But there is a deeper reason for the brilliance. I talked before about how the major tension in VTube is one between the corporate back-end tradition of Japan colliding with the audience front-end tradition of YouTube. AsaCoco is something directly in line with that second tradition. The visual language of YouTube is different from those of movies. A jump cut in a movie denotes a different idea than a jump cut on YouTube. Movie critic complaining about jump cuts in vlogs is like a Spanish reader complaining about a sentence in English being awkward. Of course it is, it’s in a different language. Unlike movies, which come from theatre and literature, vlogs’ lineage comes from news broadcasts. Many of the early web successes were styled in a news format (rocketboom, Ze Frank, What the Buck and so on…) One does not complain about the jump cut between different presenters in a newscast, and so one does not complain when a similar thing happens in vlogs. But the point is that AsaCoco harkens to the audience-based tradition.

One might write off the ARK arc as an aberration, but I think ARK did add something constructive to Hololive and VTubers as a whole. I like to think of ARK as a training wheel for Minecraft. Minecraft is relatively challenging compared to ARK. Minecraft speedruns are mildly impressive, ARK speedrun less so. ARK is actually like the middle ground between Monster Hunter and Minecraft. You can play ARK like Monster Hunter, gather a bunch of friends to hunt monsters, or like Minecraft, build your own zoo or house or so on… And in that flexibility, one can easily learn how to tell a compelling narrative in an open-world setting. Pekora’s war criminal tendencies developed there, Miko’s ‘pon’ nature was crystalized there, and so on…

Holohouse was an underrated achievement. At first, the idea feels like the natural extension of their idol nature. Idols live together, so why not virtual idols? But having virtual idols living together comes with additional benefits that Nijisanji should note.

Stalking is an awful thing, I know since I experienced and have done something similar in my past, but stalking is also a desperate thing. And desperation tends to abate when people are more open about themselves. One of the articles talking about Coco’s graduation infamously notes the mystery of Coco’s identity, which is chucklesome since Coco’s identity might be the most open secret in all of Hololive. This was in line with Hololive’s more open policy, several of Hololive members do their own personal work on the side, while in many early companies, this was forbidden. Nijisanji’s background is less open than Hololive, perhaps due to the number and less mass attention, and that leads to stalking being a more adventurous one. One that livers have to deal with more alone, while for Hololive, it’s likely people would catch and perhaps even tar the perpetrator. More attention means more risk with less excitement.

Holohouse also protects aggressive fan behavior by introducing VTuber solidarity. With more offline collabs, the people would know each other more personally and therefore have a ground of contacts in which to alert suspicious behavior. Safety in numbers.

Holohouse also brought us KanaCoco, which was a lesser known pairing until the couple ring story, and now it has become one of three big couples of Hololive, the other two being NoeFlare and OkaKoro. The big three all have a different style of their tee tee. KanaCoco is the type of a longtime buddy. Both Kanata and Coco struggled with familial and economic circumstances, and they are both struggling under the same roof. And within that struggle comes comity and friendship. It’s not love in your typical sense, but it is a type that would lead to marriage and childrens… but the current LBGTQ+ status in Japan is pretty bad, so tee tee and hush hush it is.

In a sense, KanaCoco provides for an excellent cover. It is one of the most inspiring portrayals of woman-woman friendships in media and it would be one of the more enduring aspect of Coco’s legacy as it passes down through the generations.

[Note: This somehow became an apologia of the past week. Well, I do like to show my thinking with my behavior, perhaps to my detriment, so… just be warned.]

For the past week, I was hyping about the fact that Gura passed Kizuna Ai to become the most-subscribed VTuber. And I made the point, not through immaturity, but because I realized this coincided with Coco’s graduation. Without Coco, there wouldn’t be Hololive English, or Gawr Gura, and therefore this event would not have happened. This, therefore, was one of the last great accomplishments of Coco. An indelible mark of her foresight and perseverance. A realization of her plans. So, in a sense, this was one of my ways of celebrating Coco’s career, albeit in an admittedly twisted way.

But beyond Hololive English, there was the famous Meme Review, which has a weak lineage with the early meme review series from PewDiePie. Now for the digression, whoever ends up at the top gives us a flavor for that specific era, since one naturally assumes success means finesse and would try to emulate the style. Vlogbrother’s visual style and mannerism was largely lifted from Ze Frank. PBS Idea Channel famously emulated Ray William Johnson’s background to his own ends. And Kizuna Ai was famously inspired by PewDiePie at several points in her career. Which is why PewDiePie’s Congratulations felt right as a tribute. One of the big shared characteristics of the two was the lonely years at the top. PewDiePie is probably going to be longest reigning ‘King’ of YouTube for a while (of course, depends on if Cocomelon catches T-Series in due time) and at the time his reign was abnormally long. Most people hold onto the top spot for a year or two, so it felt odd that PewDiePie was untouchable for so long. Similar things must have been raised for Kizuna Ai as well. Many people must have felt that Kizuna Ai just did not represent VTubers at the current time.

So, when competition showed up, of course people were excited. It felt like it was time. I believe PewDiePie’s Congratulations was not a simple diss track, although it’s formatted like one, just due to the culture at the time. So the hypothetical Kizuna Ai version would be extremely light-hearted. The ‘diss’ would be your typical “she’s short”, “she’s hydrodynamic” and so on… it would be clear there is no actual bad blood, and the song would be welcoming of the new era. Era, as I said before, brought on by Coco.

Back to the Meme Review, meme review was great as it centered reddit as the base for the fandom, rather than twitter, which is a horrible platform to bring a sense of communal welcomeness. Reddit is probably the best functional place for stuff like this, even though we all know it has its host of problems that needs to be resolved.

What is the most important stream in Hololive? Well, some people would point to Aqua and Coco’s The Raft stream, which is a poignant encapsulation of a stream. The dramatic counterweight to the other greatest stream in Hololive, Korone’s all-english Mario stream. Aqua and Coco are always the odd pairing, but it could have worked, and it might have been beneficial. Aqua is one of the most shy people in Hololive, and Mio is already busy with Ayame and Subaru, so the best person might have been Coco.

But China. There were two big beneficiaries from China in Hololive, one was Fubuki and the other was Aqua. While Fubuki, in Coco’s last months, famously went out of her way to intertwine herself with Coco to directly redirect her audience, like the mensch she is, Aqua always struggled with her audience retention, therefore played shy with Coco.

Edit: Well, my initial final impression was… what a wonderful finish. The interview portion was well-meant, but honestly a little formal. When the 4th Gen went together, is when the stream turned into something special for me, and the final performance was actually really well-done. Coco went out like an idol, which makes sense. For whatever provocation Coco perpetuated, Coco only did them out of love. And ultimately Cover knew that. Coco’s final month was a warning and a reminder.

Can I talk about all the different tributes lately? In some sense, Usaken Summer Festival is part of this… for an organization that is immensely popular, I just adore how Cover and their talent always has this drive to throw everything and see if it works. I noticed this during Golden Week. Golden Week in Hololive was jam packed. There were great events, Mio’s morning stream was astounding, leading to one of biggest growth spurt for Mio. Miko’s drawing collab was absolutely hilarious, for such a simple and seemingly hastily put idea. One of the people in a forum commented on this and affixed something that left my mind… what did Nijisanji during the same week? Even I was surprised by how little Nijisanji did that Golden week. They barely did anything!

The innovative spirit does give them trouble, more than it is worth, but Cover never really stopped its momentum, even when most other companies would have stopped a long time ago! This is the greatest thing about Hololive and Cover, the most redeeming feature. One that would serve them well. Coco wrote the playing book, let us pray that Cover sticks to them, because the fall of Cover comes the moment they stray.

The Pre-Coco era was about a company struggling to get their idea through. The Coco era was about writing the playing book. So the Post-Coco era will be about remembrance, it’ll be a struggle to keep the memory of what the playing book is. It’ll be about them being Hololive as they become part of the global zeitgeist.

[sebastianshaw]

Ray and Sebastian, hypothetically? (Dunno how it'd be possible, but to heck with it. XD)

Hey, two cis guys having a bio-child is like the LEAST weird non-normative way a kid gets made in Marvel! Name: Jason Ray Shaw Gender: Cis Male General Appearance: Sturdy is the word that comes to mind. He’s 5′8, with very broad shoulders and a broad chest. His very dark blue hair is in a ponytail, longer than Sebastian’s but shorter than Ray’s. His eyes are likewise a dark steel blue, almost black. Like Shaw, he’s a little darker complected than most white people, kind of a Black Irish thing going, and his features are very intense and striking, with Ray’s more delicate ones softening the harshness from Shaw into a very handsome blend. Dresses in black and deep blue businesswear. Personality: Kind of cocky, but in a laid back way. Like he doesn’t HAVE to be aggressive because he’s got everything under control no matter what. And he’s found that if you act like this, even when things are very OUT of your control, people tend to assume you indeed are as unthouchable as you act. Jason always seems like he has a plan, and he usually does, but is also clever and composed enough to handle even the most bizarre and dangerous of surprises on the fly. He’s not impolite, but nor is he formal, and frequently behaves in a far more carefree way than one would expect from a man on his station---but under the laissez faire surface, he’s deadly serious and always has his eyes on the prize, whatever that may be. He likes a good game and a worthy opponent, whether or not his chosen foe knows they’re playing. Jason is always confident in his ability to win, but when he loses, he’s surprisingly graceful and even downright charming about it. He’s suave and social, but by his own choosing has few close friend, because he prizes his own company highly. Ray taught Jason to appreciate the ocean’s power and beauty and all that lives within it. Sebastian taught Jason to appreciate money and what it can bring you. Jason grew up learning business from Shaw, and once he’d acquired a small sum of his own earning, he began investing in marine-based projects, from farming mussels to to undersea mining to developing ocean power technologies. Within a decade he developed an investment firm called Black Seas based entirely on taking money from the ocean----but unlike Sebastian, he also gives back, having never forgotten the love and respect for the sea that Ray imparted to him. He pours quite a lot of money back into ocean preservation projects, aquarium, and the rescue of endangered marine animals, though he keeps plenty for himself to live in luxury as well. While he mostly stays within the law, he also doesn’t lose too much sleep if, say, a whaling ship or oil tanker just mysteriously disappears if you get my drift.  Special Talents: I’m not exactly distinct, but I’m thinking that the things that make the deep water dangerous to normal humans---the cold, the pressure, etc---he can not only cope with, but absorb, store, and rechannel. So like, if he did deep-diving without the proper, he’d not only be fine, he’d store the coldness and pressure inside his body and be able to fire it at someone else later. Something like that. Who they like better: Ray Who they take after more: Sebastian Personal Head canon:  Ray is definitely the nicer parent, but while Jason likes and loves Ray more, I think he respects Sebastian more. He wants to make Ray happy and cares about Ray’s feelings, he wants to impress Sebastian. Also, it’s not a trend I expect to continue, but I’ve noticed all the Shawspawn from this meme so far are connect to the sea; DARJA is in the fishing industry and KAIMANA is literally a wereshark.  Also I named him after Jason as in Jason & the Argonauts, I wanted a name with an ocean/sailing connection but not too obvious. Ray as a middle name came, obviously, from Raymond’s nickname, but I also liked the idea of it sounding like “Rey” which is Spanish for “king” Face Claim: N/A

[eveningfall]

do you have any advice for long distance relationships? how has yours lasted so long and what do you do to stay so close all the time?

I do! I am in no way a professional, nor do I claim to be the best partner out there, not by a long shot, but my girlfriend and I have done long distance for nearly three years and this is some of the most important stuff that stood out to me, under the cut for organization purposes:

(Note: Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) require a huge amount of effort, patience, and emotional closeness between two people and might not be for everyone. My relationship is irreplaceable to me, and I’m choosing to share what works!)

Make plans together, set aside time for one another

Quality time is key in a long-distance relationship. Because the physical aspect is often spaced apart by huge time gaps, emotional bond is a huge part of what makes LDRs special and wonderful.

For example, my girlfriend and I often call after I have a shift at work or while she’s driving to school. I also keep her updated on parts of my day, and we often set aside time to do things together that just involve the two of us. Skype sleepovers, Minecraft sessions and writing parties have been staples in our relationship since we met. Keeping each other in regular parts of our day to day lives helps us feel connected and included, even when we can’t be there in person.

It probably sounds like simple advice but seriously, do things together often and have regular conversations. Video games (or a shared activity) help facilitate bonding when not much is going on to talk about.

affirmations bro, seriously

Anxiety is the side effect of long distance. It’s okay to be scared- scared of being apart for too long and things fading out, scared of being forgotten, scared of the separation itself, etc. The fear comes from an honest place, but whether it’s you or your partner who’s feeling it, try to be rational and avoid the impulsive urge to act on those fears.

Because of this anxiety, LDRs typically require more (and more regular) reassurance than usual. Remind them often that you love them, miss them, or are thinking about them. Comment on the little things they do that you like. Share songs, video links, and memes that remind you of them, or that you’d think they enjoy. Establish your place in each other’s lives over and over again. It takes a special person to be able to cope with the anxieties big and small that come with long distance, but when done right it is incredibly rewarding.

communication

Incredibly, crucially important. You cannot be passive-aggressive or miscommunicate in long distance. Have those tough emotional conversations, don’t be afraid to be honest when you’re angry or if something they’re doing isn’t helping you. You don’t have to resent on another. Instead, be understanding, be patient, and try to come to a place of agreement. The goal is not to break up with each other, neither wants that. Be blatant with what’s on your mind and remember that they love you.

Remember, it’s not you vs your partner. It’s you and them vs the problem.

establish boundaries

While regular interaction is important, like any other relationship your partner must not become the centre of your universe, or you theirs. Allow yourself and your partner to have other friends, spend time with family, and also have time to yourselves. You don’t need to always be talking.

Jealousy, possessiveness and feelings of exclusion are three risks when it comes to LDRs. Learn to be apart just as much as you learn to be together, and alternately, also remember to talk to your partner if you genuinely feel left out, forgotten or unwanted. Give each other space, reassure one another and build trust.

Boundaries also apply to the nuances of romance/sexuality. Your partner may or may not experience physical/sensual/sexual attraction in the same way that you do, meaning that your comfort zones could be on the same page or entirely different. Attraction and comfort can also fluctuate! Always make sure you’re both feeling comfortable and safe. Respect and understanding means so much in a relationship.

plan to meet one another eventually

Please note the key word here: eventually! I know that many LDRs face some crazy extenuating circumstances and meeting in person might be a long, possibly expensive way away. Make those plans anyway- whether an actual buy-a-plane-ticket-get-together plan or just the hypothetical. 

When you’re so far apart, talking about what you’ll do once you can be together, what your first (or next) hug will be like, how excited you are to see each other one day, are all ways to keep that love and excitement alive whilst also subtly re-affirming the other’s place in your life. Like dude, it’s fun to even make a bucket list with all sorts of plans for what you can do when you meet. 

Meeting in person is the best way to know whether you want to be together, and stay that way. There’s nothing wrong with planning it out! 

don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind (aka just get it out there!!)

I would argue that this might be the most important thing. No matter what stage your relationship is at, learn to be vulnerable with one another and get used to being candid, especially romantically. This is especially important in LDRs.

It’s normal when you’re figuring things out to be afraid to say certain things or touch on certain topics because you’re flustered or nervous, but chances are they’re feeling the same things too. This could be anything from saying “I love you” when you want to, asking directly for something (“I kinda wish I could ___ with you”), to not holding back on compliments, needs, or voicing thoughts related to your partner. If you can manage it, say it.

If it makes you feel self-conscious, it’s probably a good thing to share! Not only can they help you work through it, but it’ll encourage you both to be totally comfortable expressing yourselves and your needs. In both the most innocent and more serious ways, learning to trust and be open with one another will be incredibly beneficial in the long run- it means you’ll be able to talk about anything. You have nothing to hide, they won’t judge you :’)

don’t let nsfw (if applicable) be a taboo thing!

Don’t be afraid or ashamed of anything you think or feel when it comes to yourself or your partner. Learn to be comfortable with expressing some of your thoughts and experiences, your likes and dislikes, and anything else with one another. Like everything else, this is a part of who you are and sexual/sensual experiences can be a shared conversation.

A good middle ground when you’re still breaking the ice in this sense is to let yourselves laugh about it. Don’t be shy- make those bad jokes, call each other out and ask risky questions! Like everything else, comfort is key. The less you have to hold back with one another, the more you can laugh and smile and joke where it helps, the more fun and enjoyable those initial moments will be.

And above all else, support your partner’s vulnerability! Certain topics may be harder for you or them. Accept their honesty and chime in with your own thoughts/ideas. It’ll be fun, I promise.

Just for general advice, I would say make even the little moments special. Make a big deal out of the little things, send each other birthday/christmas presents and love the shit out of each other. You can’t always hug or go on dates like an irl couple but keep in mind that the long distance isn’t forever. It’s a real relationship, don’t let anyone discourage it and remember why you chose your person in the first place. That’s the main thing probably? Do whatever feels best for you and your favourite person.

[clutch-wept]

Ultimate Ship Meme

Ana Maria Ramos ღ John Seed

Tagged by @pd3​, thank you so much!

Tagging: @baeogorath @oldserah​ @gamer-purgatory​ @gracethornwood​ @dep-yo-tee​ @deputy-janai​ @bleudragonfire​ @hoesephseed​ @twirlingsmoke and YOU!

General

Rate the Ship: Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? ○  Until Ana drops dead and John follows suit from heartbreak.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? ○  It was a... process.

How was their first kiss? ○  Slow, hesitant, hopeful.

Wedding

Note: Their canon timeline wouldn’t allow them to have a proper wedding so this is hypothetical.

Who proposed? ○  John beat Ana to the punch. She was still working up the nerve to do it herself.

Who is the best man/men? ○  Joseph would be John’s best man.

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? ○  Sharky and Hurk Jr would be Ana’s bros of honor.

Who did the most planning? ○  Ana would try to plan it as to avoid putting any more work on John’s shoulders. John and Ana’s mother end up taking over anyways.

Who stressed the most? ○  Ana. John’s in his element when it comes to event planning, Ana not so much.

How fancy was the ceremony? Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. [ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪɢɢᴇꜱᴛ ᴍᴇxɪᴄᴀɴ ʙᴏᴅᴀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱɪᴅᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴏɴᴛᴀɴᴀ ɪꜰ ᴀɴᴀ'ꜱ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀʏ]

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? ○  Nick nearly got himself uninvited but after a heated argument and a promise of several kegs of his favorite beer at the reception things were smoothed out.

Sex

Who is on top? ○  John for the most part.

Who is the one to instigate things? ○  They both good at initiating.

How healthy is their sex life? Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? ○  Varies.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? ○  They try to keep it balanced but don’t worry themselves too much about it.

How rough are they in bed? Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. [ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀɴ ɪɴᴛɪᴍᴀᴛᴇ, ʀᴇʟᴀxᴇᴅ ᴅᴀʟʟɪᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ'ꜱ ʙᴏᴜᴛᴛᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴄʜᴏᴋᴇᴅ]

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children

How many children will they have naturally? ○  1, possibly 2

How many children will they adopt? ○  n/a

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? ○  Ana since she breastfeeds, so she’s by the baby more often by default. John’s pretty good about helping out though.

Who is the stricter parent? ○  Ana.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? ○  Ana’s had to do a running dive, or several, to catch the kiddo(s).

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? ○  John.

Who is the more loved parent? ○  John since he’s the good cop to Ana’s bad cop.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? ○  John, as he’s the more diplomatic of the two.

Who cried the most at graduation? ○  The grandparents.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? ○  John. Ana’s more likely to let em sit in a cell for a few days if she thinks it’ll teach em a lesson.

Cooking

Who does the most cooking? ○  Ana.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? ○  John has a few foods he absolutely abhors due to being forced to eat them as a child.

Who does the grocery shopping? ○  John has his followers

How often do they bake desserts? ○  Ana likes to put older fruits she hasn’t gotten around to eating in bread. She’ll sometimes make cookies too.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? ○  Ana is partial to meat but they’re both okay with either.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? ○  John likes to go all out with an extravagantly cooked dinner and pretty gifts. Ana is more likely to make a home-made meal while planning to do a cute activity together.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? ○  John, though the selection of restaurants is pretty limited in Hope County...

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? ○  Ana after a dozen beers as she tries to demonstrate a hibachi routine an Army cook once showed her.

Chores

Who cleans the room? ○  Ana will clean her room and other living areas. John can clean but usually has the help do it.

Who is really against chores? ○  Ana takes her time starting chores but does a good job finishing them.

Who cleans up after the pets? ○  Ana cleans up after all her Fangs for Hire. John will help sometimes with Boomer but leaves Peaches’ and Cheeseburger’s messes to his followers.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? ○  Neither

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? ○  Ana channeling her mother: “There can not be any sign of LIVING in this house!” [ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴄᴏᴜᴘʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ᴊᴏʜɴ ʜᴀꜱ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴜᴛ ꜱᴏ ꜱʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴀᴘᴇꜱʜɪᴛ]

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? ○  Ana gets really excited when she manages to find any spare change and keeps what she finds in a former mayonnaise jar.

Misc.

Who takes the longer showers/baths? ○  Ana stays in until the water turns cold when she wants some daydreaming time.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? ○  Ana will take Boomer out but John occasionally joins her.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? ○  Ana likes to decorate for the 4th of July, the start of fall, Halloween, and Christmas.

What are their goals for the relationship? ○  John wants to let go of some of his deep-seated resentments and learn healthier coping mechanisms. He doesn’t want to keep hurting or disappointing those closest to him. Ana wants to do away with her hero complex which has caused her to inadvertently hurt as many people as she’s saved.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? ○  Ana, if she’s particularly exhausted after a excursion.

Who plays the most pranks? ○  A N A

[hidelaney]

Hi Delaney!

Ah, yes the quarantine. It’s getting to me. Definitely. Suddenly I have no office to go to. But it’s good, I think. Make the CEO realize the upper management has no literal reasons to keep us in the office. Like at all. Seriously, everyone from my team is working from home and the level of productivity is actually better. Because guess what? Not having people breathing down our necks is SUPER helpful. So HA!

Okay, about Larry Stylinson. You’re right, I did fall into YouTube Blackhole. And Twitter. And I just watched 1D San Siro concert. By watching, I mean I actually paused the work I’m doing and looked at the screen while it played. Admittedly I was also doing chores but! It wasn’t just background music! It counted!

When I said I could put Larry Stylinson in a microwave and be done with it, I mean the theories and compilation videos are so readily available and easy to digest like, comparable to instant meals.

It’s so neatly packaged, too. Like, I was introduced to Larry Stylinson basically yesterday. Now I could recite the storyline in my head whenever I please. Or when I want to please you, in this case.

Let’s see if I can get it all summarized down here. FYI, I’m borrowing your assumption that Taylor was in on it the whole time. And Eleanor, too. Because I actually know of her existence now! Character discovery! Except they’re real people so I feel the need to point out that I’m making all the assumptions all over the place. I’m doing this for you, my dear Delaney.

Keep in mind that we all need character growths and personal developments when I make non-flattering assumptions toward your favorite people here, ok?

First up! HS & TL met in a toilet.

Now it’s debatable whether it was during an X-Factor audition or Battle of the Bands. For the sake’s of my next argument, I’m going with they knew each other before X-Factor. Likely during their time in White Eskimo and The Rogue, respectively. Their (unconfirmed?) first words to each other were ‘Oops!’ & ‘Hi’

Up next, the X-Factor audition and getting put together in a band.

So here is where I kind of needed my first assumption for this to work. Their chemistry was so obviously through the roof. It made so much sense if they were already sort-of friends and then got put together in a band. Plus, I don’t think the way Louis jumped into Harry’s arms is something a relative stranger would do. And if they only knew each other out of everyone there, it’s no wonder they were both so apparently clingy and codependent. It’s like a situation where both of them went ‘I have no idea what’s gonna happen next, but at least I know you and you know me. So we’re bestie now. No take back!”

And then there’re video diaries, twitter cams, radio interviews, and other broadcasting media they appeared in. These need no explanation because you’ve probably seen all of them and I have functioning ears and eyes. So, yes, I saw videos of them being all disgustingly cute all over the place. During the so-called ‘Fetus’ phase (a wording which I personally find rather disturbing, no offense to your anatomy textbooks or anything.) They’re so sweet. Especially whenever there’s a mention of how they moved in and lived together. Their interactions must’ve been responsible for so many tooth cavities. So many aww-worthy moments. On stage, on screen, behind the scenes, potato cams. Basically everywhere in front of everyone.

Then 1D blew up and were well on their way to become their label’s biggest and brightest BCG-metrix star. It’s not hard to see why investors’d be invested (lol) in employing every marketing strategy possible to keep 1D in the spotlight.

There’s a twofold marketing exploitation to Larry Stylinson that I see from miles away.

Hard sell the heteronormative version of the boys. (To capture major market shares)

Never had Harry or Louis explicitly confirm nor deny their relationship status. (To capture additional market shares with queerbaiting)

But let’s say Harry and Louis were actually together and making 1) too difficult to achieve. Otherwise this whole thing falls apart like a wet house of cards.

Thus, here came what I’d like to call ‘dousing a fire with gasoline’. This is where there’s a sudden drop of their interactions in public and Larry Stylinson isn’t a cutesy smashup name of two boys who got along like a house on fire anymore. This is the part where a ship turned into a full fledged conspiracy theory. And it’s MEGA COOL WICKED awesome.

I say this in the nicest way possible. A tragedy is the grandest form of entertainments. Misery loves having friends.

Also, I’d like to say this. I’m having fun thinking of this as a fictional arc. Because I still feel like it will shatter my heart in to a million pieces if anything resembling what I write next was true.

Since breaking into US market was the Kickstarter into a global one, to the US 1D went.

This was where the heavy closeting got way more difficult to handle. Elounor had the excuse of Eleanor being a private citizen and therefore should be left alone for the most part. Haylor was the complete opposite. Taylor Swift was and still is an American Sweetheart. Harry Styles might have been the most famous British Harry if it weren’t for a (former?) prince and a wizard. (Seriously, we should not call any of our hypothetical future children ‘Harry’ unless you thought ‘Albus Severus Potter’ was a good idea. Poor kiddo.)

The saddest part about Harry Styles public image was how reminiscent of Emma Watson it felt. The minute they turned eighteen, their media portrayals immediately became hyper-sexualized. Suddenly, they left the human zoo into an open hunting game. Famous lives are terrifying.

Anyhow, say, Taylor Swift knew what the US music industry was like. She’s been playing the long game for quite some time. She got to know Harry and then became rather protective of him. Her conclusion was that ‘hyping up Haylor’ would: 1) increase media exposure for both Taylor and 1D which would translate to bigger channels of revenue for all involved, 2) hold the speculation about Harry’s sexual orientation at bay because, as horrible as it sounds, gays don’t sell in America.

This one fit nicely with your ‘Out of the Woods’ interpretation. Taylor wasn’t just spending time with Harry. She was actively enforcing the lock on the closet. Which explains why Louis seemed to resent Taylor quite obviously and quite a lot. His own heteronormative scripts with Eleanor had been relatively tame. Harry’s whirlwind series of romances in public had only just begun.

As Harry started gaining a womanizer reputation in earnest, so did the Almost-Subtle Couple Tattoo Sprees.

If ‘Always in my heart @Harry_Styles . Yours sincerely, Louis’ tweet was a sign that circumstances were about to go south for them. The tattoos were signs that the circumstances had already gone to shit. The tragic package had been shipped, signed, and delivered.

This is where non-flattering assumptions rise to the surface. I think 1D had been overworked past the point of exhaustion. Self-destruction as a coping mechanism became rather prevalent and pervasive within the band. The boys gleefully collected regrets as a new favorite pastime, some more than others. Consequences were nipping at their heels.

Then Zayn left right in the middle of a world tour and all hell broke loose.

Here comes the biggest Assumption Affair!

Louis and Liam, the last to release their solo debut albums, were the most prominent songwriters for the band. I’m not going to go on about Liam because I’m here to give you Larry Stylinson. And this is already way too long as it is. But, needless to say, the first discussion of a prospective solo career probably hit them the hardest.

If each song they wrote was a battle scar, Louis was still bleeding for the band when Harry, of all people, brought up the idea of a hiatus and solo careers. Realizing how many songs Harry already had waiting in the back catalogue must’ve felt like a slap in the face. Or a punch in the gut. Whichever you think is worse/more dramatic. I’m not picky.

Remember self-destruction as coping mechanism? What about relationship-destruction as coping mechanism? Louis cheated and had a baby with someone else. Infidelity at its finest.

ALERT! THIS IS A NEON SIGN OF ASSUMPTION AFFAIR! Please don’t kill me. I told you I was gonna make unflattering assumptions toward your favorite people. I just did as I promised!!! *run for cover*

Anyway...

I’m gonna take you back a little. I mentioned earlier how Eleanor was a private citizen and therefore should be left alone. At times when Louis desperately needed to be left alone, Elounor makes so much sense. If she’s a PR-only girlfriend, she’s a stellar employee. If it’s not just a PR thing, she’s as forgiving as a saint. Just, if it’s Harry and Louis, they likely both messed up and hurt each other badly. If it’s Louis and Eleanor,... I mean... Have you seen a meme where you misspell a word so badly that the autocorrect goes, ‘I don’t know what to tell you, man’?... Louis would be that misspelled word and Eleanor would be the very best autocorrect that practically brute force through every word in the Oxford AND Urban dictionary to find out what that word was. If that’s who she is, then bless her soul. However, for the sake of this argument, we will proceed with the assumption that she’s the star employee of the decade.

Losing loved ones and grieving for them are inevitable parts of human lives. Nothing put more things into perspectives than losing someone so fundamentally dear to you. When I heard Louis Tomlinson’s ‘Two of Us’ for the first time, I remembered walking through an actual forest my grandpa planted for us because he wanted to make sure his great grandkids would have a nice home to grow up in. Do you remember when you called and told me that he died the night I got on my first solo international flight ten months after the fact? I wanted to hate you for keeping something this big a secret from me. I wanted to hate everybody at home for that. But then you told me that it was what my grandpa had wanted. That he didn’t want me to be a sad sack of an exchange student. That you decided to not listen to my parents and call to tell me just before I was due home. So that I’d have time to feel hurt about being lied to. So that I could get all the angry words out. So that I wouldn’t scream at my parents when I got home and learnt the truth. So that you could take the brunt of my grief instead.

I just took a break to have a little cry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. You did the best you could for me when I lost my grandpa. I still managed to effectively shut you out for months. Just because you were the messenger of the bad news. What I’m trying to say is that grief changes people. It changed me. For the worst for a bit. And then for the better once I came to term with what it means to me. There’s a quote from Rosamund Lupton that sums it up neatly.

“Grief is love turned into an eternal missing.”

I guess this is the part where I connected the dots back to Harry and Louis. Well, their music definitely give grief different names. Both albums talk about coming to term with it and moving forward. Every songs they wrote could be woven to fit the narrative of Larry Stylinson and events surrounding them. If you buy the theory, then the good news is both Fine Line & Walls seemed to have a positive ending. One thing I know for sure, though, is that no matter how convincing a conspiracy theory maybe, it could all be built upon a faulty assumption. I’d probably have a way easier time disregarding Elouner if I didn’t have you as a solid proof in my life that, yes, people like the best autocorrect exists. It’s funny how I feel no hesitation at all in categorizing Haylor as a calculated move. Because in my head that’s just par for the course in business. And it genuinely terrifies me in a way. Who the hell I could’ve become if it weren’t for you knocking me off the ground and pouring kindness on me.

I know I skipped a lot of stuff. Missing names like Caroline, Danielle, Kendall, Freddie, Camille, Xander, etc. But HS and LT have a decade of history on public record and, frankly, my interest ran out four paragraphs ago. So just let me conclude this.

I think it’s tiring, spending this much time speculating on someone else’s relationship history. I must admit that I had to get it out of my chest because it was way too interesting to let go off. But now, I feel like I’m just going to stream Heartbreak Weather and listen to ‘No Judgement’ on repeat. Nile is my favorite non-problematic celebrity. I could spell his name so wrong and it probably won’t be an issue as long as I politely say, “Sorry, Mr Niall Horan”

This quarantine clearly leaves me with too much time on my hands.

Virtual hugs and kisses

Your Incredible Sasha 😘

[marshmallowprotection]

I’ve been reflecting and honestly I don’t think I would survive in Mint Eye while I’m in Saeran’s route, suit would just come over and be an angry boyo, but whenever he would flip out I would just reply with “sir please, this is a McDonalds drive thru” and I’m 80% sure he would just give up on me and throw me out on the streets 🤣

Oh. See, you would meme at him to try and survive. I think he would definitely be exasperated with you. I can’t say that he would throw you away the first time you did that, I think he would think you’re trying to pretend you’re not scared of him or maybe that Seven’s humor got to you and you’re using that to deliberately piss him off.

So, you’re in for a real... lecture.

Sure, let’s call it that. 

Sometimes humor can help you cope with a situation but I think that it will surely make it harder on you. You have the advantage of being able to deflect his rage with commentary. It’ll throw him off guard and give you more time to try and get him to understand that he needs to step back and look at what power he actually has here. 

Dealing with Suit Saeran is sort of like trying to tightrope over a pool of angry Piranhas. You have to be careful with what you say and what you do. You can’t feed into his anger but you can’t push him to be something that he isn’t. You have to acknowledge that he isn’t Ray because he isn’t, but he needs to hear that, and he needs to hear that they can both exist. 

There’s no need for a struggle. 

Empathy and trying to look underneath his rage is important. I think I would have a pretty hard time as well, just because one of my triggers is when people yell at me. So, he would have that on me and that would make it a smidge harder to get through that portion of the route. I can’t say he’d be able to twist my words or push me around, it’s not like I don’t know how to deal with people like that due to my past. 

So, frankly, I’d survive apart from the noises. 

BUT THIS IS ALL HYPOTHETICAL DFGLKDFJGFKDJGD

[jmseba]

What it feels like to lose your ___ to suicide.

By JM Seba

It feels like being at the epicenter of an explosion, emotionally. The moment of detonation is deafening. The force feels like it’s ripping you apart, the most pain you’ve ever felt. You’re in abject shock. You’re obliterated.

Once the initial numbness has worn off, thoughts race through the survivors’s minds. What if I had done something differently, what if I missed obvious signs, what if I did something to make it worse, what if, what if, what if? The hypotheticals of suicide are relentless, constant. But ultimately the hypotheticals are useless: the bomb has already exploded. There is nothing left to fix.

If you find yourself at the epicenter of suicide, you likely needed your deceased ___. You likely shared genetics or companionship, experiences or trauma, rib-breaking belly laughs or tearfully swollen eyelids. In life, you leaned on each other’s shoulders. In death, the weight of an entire person is transferred to your back. Violently overpowering you, threatening to crush you to death.

If you were well before this, you’ll become sick. If you were sick before this, you’ll become sicker. Your physical body, your routines, your consciousness, your future plans, your previously held beliefs, your desperate hopes and dreams will tailspin.

Your life will become full of confounding paradoxes. Talking about it hurts, but not talking about it also hurts. You think you could’ve saved them, but you think nothing could’ve saved them. You ceaselessly love them, but you ceaselessly hate them for having done this. You know they could have fought harder, yet you know they couldn’t fight anymore.

People will ask how they died. You won’t know what to say. You’ll consider saying their terminal illness was cancer instead. You’ll wonder if people who say “sorry for your loss” really want to say “your loved one was a selfish coward”. You’ll wonder if people are judging the sum of your incredible ___’s life solely by the way it ended.

There are texts, hundreds of conversations that scroll infinitely upward: each one, at the time, so innocuously sent. You can get lost in rereading them. You read and reread shared memes, silly comments, deep conversations, snapped photos, and the unremarkable “you left your phone charger here” statements. If you read them for long enough, you’ll perhaps forget for just a moment that you live in a world without them. Inevitably, the crash back to earth breaks your bones as loudly as the day it happened.

Life begins to move on. There are two different responses to this passage of time, but you might experience a mix of both. Option A: You become angry that the sun still rises and the birds still chirp. You’ll be enraged that the world turns as if nothing happened, and long for time to stand still so that memories stay fresh. Option B: you bury yourself within the comfort of schedule. You’ll numb yourself with the ticking of the clock, compartmentalize the pain and long to fast-forward to the part where it doesn’t hurt.

No matter the response, time continues its predictable march forward. You realize just how irreplaceable the relationship was. First birthdays, first holidays, first traditions without them debilitate you. You’ll need to navigate around the crater they left.

Though your topology has changed forever, you’ll begin to grow used to its altered terrain. Warning: you’ll fight the familiarity with viciousness. Acceptance feels like agreeing with the lies of suicidal ideation. “See, you really ARE better off without me.” “I really WAS a burden.” “My loved ones will feel sad for a while, but eventually they’ll get over it.”

You’ll want to prove the lies wrong. “You were NEVER a burden. See how much pain you’ve left in your wake? It’s because I loved you SO incredibly much!” But fighting the acceptance leads to more agony. More guilt, more shame that you could’ve done more: what if, what if, what if? You cycle through the stages of grief once more and nothing ever feels like progress.

The truth is: suicide is an exhaustion of coping resources. Your beautiful ___ had to make the choice to do this, but they felt deep within their souls that they were out of choices. This wasn’t your incredible ___’s fault. Their disease killed them.

When your ____ commits suicide, your history is divided into two pieces: your life before and your life after. As for myself, I’m still navigating the after. These are just a few things I’ve learned, and I have a feeling the learning is never over.

If you’re still within the thick of the epicenter, know that the pain lessens over time. Time, introspection, asking for help, and not suppressing feelings are your road map out of this.

When your ___ commits suicide, the old adage becomes so immeasurably true: “If love could’ve saved them, they would’ve lived forever.”

Take care friends.

[ladydreemurr]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. TAGGED BY: @mrfunnybone TAGGING: @sxvethequeen @a-real-chara-cter

MY MUSE IS:   CANON / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. ( She’s good, you guys. }

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. { Don’t Google it. }

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. { Mostly. You get the occasional guy that didn’t check her stats or forgot certain scenes, but it’s rare in my experience. }

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. { Guys, she’s very good. }

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO { I think so, anyway! She’s the one that rescues you in the Ruins and she’s significant in many endings, among other things. }

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. { She is your mom and she will be your mom and you are gonna like it. }

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. { Queen of the monsters! }

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. { She’s got a lot of good will as a fair and kind ruler, but she also ditched her job at the worst time. Aaand a rebellion starts to straight up yeet her off the throne in one ending. So...  depends? }

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?  — As far as writing Toriel’s character, I follow canon as closely as possible, adding things of my own when there are gaps or room for creative license ---which Undertale has a lot of. As a general rule, I'm pretty conservative about breaking from canon without “good” reasons, but I’m not bound by it, either!

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS.  —  So I’m just gonna take this opportunity to wax about why I love this lady:

Toriel is the result of a long and interesting life. She’s a runaway monarch with centuries of red letter events, memories and hard decisions behind her, many of which were extremely painful for her and others. She’s suffered loss and made it worse by choosing to cope with them alone. She’s been and can still be harsh and judgmental. And yet, and yet, and yet when you first meet her, you might never guess any of that; she’s overwhelmingly a loving, passionate and downright silly woman who extends her generosity to everyone around her. She still wants to be a teacher. She still wants a family. However imperfectly she may express it, nothing she’s been through has smothered that.

Not only does her natural humor and genuine warmth make her easy to like and trust for most people, but she’s usually quick to become invested in others; she cares what they think, how they feel, and who they are. Above all, she wants to help  — and absolutely believes she can do that — whether people want her to or not. She knows what’s best, after all.

Toriel is good you guys she’s very good---

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?).  — Weeell, as far as canon goes, Toriel is only really an active agent in the beginning and the end; you don’t see her for a while between those story beats and that means she only really gets those moments to do anything interesting.  Toriel is also less overtly “spicy” or “quirky” than some of her fellow cast members, too, so she might be outshone by them as far as raw personality goes.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?  —  I was between fandoms and fresh off my first Undertale playthrough when I stumbled upon the RPC community. I’d been considering joining with a Toriel blog already, but what pushed me over the edge was a Sans writer and a Papyrus writer that I loved the stories of. Their work finally got me excited enough to throw my hat in. Even though they’re long gone, I’m still excited to see what sort of stuff I can contribute to!

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  —  Whenever I see people writing together, it inspires me. Whenever I get myself on a long ramble about characters, it inspires me. Poetry inspires me. Spite inspires me. Just immersing myself in the world and act of creating stuff for the sake of it inspires me, basically!

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES...? / NO / { I don’t feel like I’ve done a whole lot with Toriel yet, but I’m feeling good about what I’ve managed so far. }

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? { I definitely come up with stuff, but I’m still a little timid about sharing my ideas. I’m workin’ on it! }

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF?  {I have off days, but I think I’m good at her! }

Are you confident in your writing?  YES ? / NO. { I’m a recovering perfectionist, which is what slows me down more than anything else. Accepting and internalizing that RPing is innately messier than solo writing takes work! }

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. { I guess that depends on what this refers to! Emotional stuff gets to me pretty easy (I’m a sap) and I hate seeing people being awful to each other, but as far as, say, being insulted and such, I usually don’t take what people say about me online to heart too easily. }

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?  —  Yes! We’ve all got blind spots and weaknesses somewhere; if you guys see one I don’t, I’d love to hear it.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  — Totally. It’s my jam.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  I’m usually curious, but I don’t expect people to explain themselves to me or anything. I’m just really interested in the different ways the same character can be interpreted; it’s really fascinating!

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?  — Just fine! Honestly, I think it’s a good thing that we often don’t have the same vision for a given character. I’ve disagreed with how other people write Toriel, too!

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  Again, just fine! It’s a normal part of engaging with media as long as there isn’t any toxic behavior attached.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  — Yes. Guys, if you see me do things like- — and this is totally, 100% hypothetical and definitely not a thing I did— accidentally write two instances of “only” where there should very obviously be one, go right ahead and point it out to me. And ya know? I’m surprised no one’s pointed out problems with my em-dash abuse yet. Heh.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   — Generally yes, though I’m trying to be more easygoing. I’d like to be more proactive in talking to people and not worry so much about whether people will dig the things I post. But, uh, you know; recovering perfectionist!

[letters-from-the-three-houses]

three houses headcanons: byleth and associates edition

with this, i’ve finally finished writing preliminary headcanons for all the characters i said i was going to do! hcs for byleth split between his/her two 'forms', and associates include the rest of the teaching staff, jeralt, and sothis

as i’ve mentioned before, i won’t be doing headcanons for the church unless someone asks me to, so i’ll be moving on to other weird speculation posts (like guessing the students’ last names) while spewing out some other stuff every now and then

check out the other editions here: lords / black eagles / blue lions / golden deer

m!byleth is strict with deadlines

allows up to three late days for assignments

but the moment that it turns midnight, it’s 10% off of the total grade

hand it in on 12:00 am? too bad, 10% off

once the three day mark hits, it’s an automatic zero

starts class exactly at 10 after the hour, not a second early or late

won’t waste your time if you don’t waste his

has all the info needed for exams on his slides

equal amount of multiple choice and short answer questions

"don’t bother with the textbook. it’s a waste of money"

talks dry and kind of fast

but will clarify things if need be

puts up slides and important announcements well before the lecture starts

if emails existed in the fe!verse he’d answer them straight away

you have to book an appointment to see him in office

f!byleth is more lax

has a lot of fun examples that caters to the students

would put memes in the slides

makes jokes to keep the class engaged

paces around while teaching

part of the final grade is class participation (allows exit cards for the less inclined)

just drop by her office to ask questions whenever

either over-explains or under-explains; there’s no in-between

will pretend to forget she assigned homework then bring it up at the last minute

adds lots of extra office hours a week before an important term test

application-based long answer questions with hypothetical situations

she’s notorious for her difficult exams

assigns way too many group projects for anyone’s comfort

takes a really long time marking papers

pranks her class by saying nobody passed the most recent assignment

sothis is snarky

witty and likes word play

sassy and won’t hesitate to call byleth out

she gets kind of caustic and defensive sometimes as a coping mechanism

but she’s be worried of offending them because she thinks they’ll leave her if she does

has a sweet face that becomes downright intimidating when she wants it to

excitable but she’s not easily impressed

takes an afternoon nap every day

probably likes sweets

would say ’teehee’ and 'omigosh' unironically

hides a lot of secrets behind a tight-lipped smile

she’s incredibly perceptive about things

if you lie to her, she’ll know

and she’ll file away the information for future use

will wait for as long as she needs to if it means seeing her ideals set to motion

jeralt thinks experience is the best teacher

will show you the basics and then throw you to the lions

mistakes are welcome and encouraged

can adapt to any situation

while he can’t sing to save his life, he can dance a mean jig

probably good at gambling but doesn’t (maybe small bets)

a natural bluffer

goes from 0% to 100% really quickly

the mood whiplash from 'joking around' to ’serious business' scares the new mercenaries

lets byleth do their own thing

but will warn them if he thinks it’s a terrible idea (more f!byleth than m!byleth)

dad jokes™

sometimes has a drink while watching the sunset

hanneman is like a cool grandfather

having been a teacher for years, he knows the ins and outs of the job

ask and he shall provide

office is always open for anyone at any time

just wants all of his students to succeed

talks slowly and deliberately

but also rambles and goes off on tangents

it’s hard to follow his train of thought because his lectures can be a bit abstract

the most likely of the teachers to be late to any given class or meeting

doesn’t give assignments but the term tests are challenging

they’re not as bad as byleth’s

but they require a fair bit of studying and revision

will disappear for weeks in his office to finish research on a niche, obscure topic

manuela is almost like the resident guidance counsellor

meets up with students one-on-one to talk about their academic performance

has an individual teaching plan for everyone

caters to their strengths and weaknesses

can be a bit strict because she wants to push them to improve

gives out a lot of extra credit opportunities

detentions are just an excuse for extra credit

takes a liking to byleth right off of the bat

knows the names, birthdays, and favourite colours of all her students

a gossipmonger to the highest degree

provides plenty of supplemental materials to understand the topics in-depth

always has tissues ready in her office if need be

would pair students up on an assignment because she knows they like each other

[asks are open!]

[swissmissficrecs]

Hi! I really really love works like Through the Clouds and The Sea in a Chasm and Horse and Carriage where one of the boys proposes marriage or retirement together and the other struggles with what that means about their "friendship". Do you have any other fics you can rec me along that vein? I'd also love fics where Sherlock marries them without telling John!

Reply: I love these too! First of all, here are some relatedlists:

Fakerelationship

Couplestherapy

Gettingtogether late in life

And here are the ones you mentioned in case anyone else would liketo look them up:

Horse andCarriage by flawedamythyst (60K, Teen, Johnlock)Sherlockproposes. John thinks the whole idea is ludicrous.

Through theClouds by mazarin221b (20K, Explicit, Johnlock)Sherlock takesa remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a changeof pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the SouthDowns, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quietcontemplation, bee studies, and book writing.They might go completelyinsane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’reliving to find the life you want.

The Sea in aChasm [orphaned] (17K, Teen, Johnlock and John/OFC)WhenSherlock decides to retire to Sussex, John decides to find out who heis without Sherlock.

Now I know I have read a couple of fics where Sherlock (or Mycroft) secretly procured a marriage license for them for medical or case-related purposes without John’s knowledge, but unfortunately I am not able to find them right now so if anyone else knows one please let us know! I can give you a bunch of others, though, in which thoughts of marriage lead to angst and re-examination of the relationship:

This is a very close second (and one of my all-time favorite fics)in which Sherlock pretends to be married to John without John’sknowledge:

The Good Morrowseries by greywash (213K, Explicit, Johnlock)My post-S2series where everyone has a lot of feels about everything andplausibility isstretched unto breaking. Also: fucking.

In this one, Sherlock thinks John is going to propose but hedoesn’t, leading to relationship re-evaluation:

Stood in History by philalethia (18K, Explicit, Johnlock)He discovered the ring in John’s sock drawer. It all went a bit downhill from there.

In these, one or the other of them thinks about proposing for areally long time:

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (32K, Explicit, Johnlock)And Sherlock stands there, in the middle of a Christmas market as John hums along to Silent Night, John’s hand warm in his with fingertips a little gritty from the cinnamon-sugar doused churros they’d shared, and thinks, oh, that’s–that’s an idea, isn’t it?*For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves.

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (22K, Explicit, Johnlock)Proposing shouldn’t be this difficult.Written for this prompt at the kink meme: Remember that episode of Friends where Chandler is going to propose to Monica and how he pretends that he doesn’t care about marriage so she’ll be really surprised? How about a version of it with Sherlock and John with Sherlock being the one that wants to propose but pretends that he has no desire for it?

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (17K, Explicit, Johnlock)Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn’t simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. (Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.)

In these, both of them angst a whole lot over getting married:

Sketchy Part 2 by serpentynka (158K, Explicit, Johnlock and Mycroft/OMC)What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work?   A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl – but cannot be ignored. Oh, and…porn. (A continuation of plot arcs from Part 1 of Sketchy) When the world’s only consulting detective starts dreaming of bowing out, his dearest person in the world is more than willing to go with him.  It would seem that all that’s left to do is choose a date and leave London.  The machinations that be are never quite what they seem.

God Help Me, I Do by PlainJane (90K, Explicit, Johnlock and Mollstrade)A consulting detective, two doctors, a forensic pathologist, a DI, a senior citizen, a recovering alcoholic and the British government walk into a register office…John and Sherlock have resolved to be together as much more than just colleagues or friends, but how will their relationship change between the proposal and the wedding? Follow along as they learn about themselves and about each other. How will they share their news with those closest to them? How will John adjust to the reality of being in a relationship with a man instead of a woman? How will they both find time and space for personal and professional lives? And how will Sherlock cope with the intensity of true love? Cases, chuckles, angst and lots of good loving on the journey to one very unconventional wedding day.

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (39K, Explicit, Johnlock)Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding...

This has a similar premise to Horse and Carriage:

The Important Bit by Solshine (10K, G, Johnlock)Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

And finally these in which they get engaged/married for a case(with John’s knowledge) and it becomes serious:

Thanks to the Barbarians by queen_jadis (10K, Explicit, Johnlock)John and Sherlock get married for a case, which both of them find hilarious - until they realise that they can’t get a divorce. The offensive piece of paper has more effect on their relationship than John thinks it has any right to do.

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (91K, Teen, Johnlock)John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level… 

Till Death Do Us Part by prettysailorsoldier (15K, Mature, Johnlock)When Sherlock links a recent spree of murder-suicides to a psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling, there’s really only one thing to do: Go undercover as a couple in hopes of drawing the killer out. Faking a relationship seems easy enough, but things take a turn when their real issues start to creep into the sessions, and, all the while, a killer is watching, waiting in the shadows for their chance to strike.

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by distantstarlight (96K, Explicit, Johnlock)For his entire life Sherlock Holmes has had complete mastery over his transport. He drives it harder than he should, is careless with it, and makes it bend to his will. His transport has always done it’s duty but lately Sherlock’s transport has been making some demands. 

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (16K, NC-17, Johnlock)John, we need to get married. 

Mountebank by Odamaki (26K, Mature, Johnlock)“I am calm,” John snaps, leaning on the door to glare out at the dark streets around them. Sherlock’s not said where they’re going; all he knows is they came off the ring road to the west of London and have vanished somewhere into the depths of Berkshire. All he knows is that he’s been trussed up in a suit that wasn’t hired from anywhere and if brought new would edge up into the triple figure margins. “Be calmer,” Sherlock advises, with a trace of irony. “We’re going to a party.”

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (9K, Explicit, Johnlock)What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game.Of course it’s for a case.Of course it doesn’t stay that way.

The Pretence of an Unacknowledged Truth by stickleworting (28K, Explicit, Johnlock)  He’s decided to just be himself, cliché as it sounds. The lie about being Sherlock’s mate will be difficult enough to keep up, he’s not going to think up more of a charade regarding himself on top of that.  If he uses the wrong fork at dinner, fine. If someone calls him on it, he’ll just stab them with it. Job done.First attempt at Omegaverse because a very good friend of mine likes it, and I like my friend. She asked for: alpha!John/omega!Sherlock; age difference; pretend bondmates to meet Sherlock’s family; synthesised bond scent; and bonding in Sherlock’s old bedroom. I think I’m managing to cram it all in for you, sweetpea ;) No mpreg, I’m afraid. That was a stretch too far.

[naimee]

could i have a scenario where akashi's s/o tries to make him laugh? Like REALLY laugh because he's always so composed

okay so this is structured a bit differently. it’s in first person. i hope ya don’t mind. also, it’s written like notes in a journal so the tenses may switch.

ALSO, THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS LIKING MY STUFF SWEETUMS. I APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT AND I’M ALWAYS LOOKING FOR YOU. you make me smile. 

Step 1: Make an Observation

I’m staring at my boyfriend from the side of the couch that doesn’t occupy a red-headed heir typing away on his MacBook Pro. He’s sitting up plank wood straight, and his movements are so methodical, bordering timed and precise, that it’s scary.

Hm.

I’m sure if Akashi desired, he could replace an Artificial Intelligence test subject for a day. Researchers wouldn’t know the difference unless they cut him open, witnessing a fleshy surprise instead of a mechanical one lined with metal and wire.

The guy is so mechanical sometimes I question his humanity. Hell, he doesn’t even laugh.

Step 2: Form a Question

Does Akashi ever laugh? Does he enjoy jokes? He definitely doesn’t tell them.

I mean, I’ve never witnessed it at least. Within the year we’ve been together, the most humor-motivated action I’ve seen him do is grin. Maybe a titter. But not like a cute titter. More like one of those borderline maniacal laughs villains do in movies when their plan is going just the way they want it too.

It only happens when he’s playing a game of shogi.

Ultimately, I have a question to answer: Is it possible for Akashi Seijurou to produce belly-quaking laughter?

Step 3: Form a Hypothesis

No. Hell no. Most definitely not. It’s not in him. He has a disconnect when it comes to appreciating a perfectly timed and well-defined narrative and it would take years to develop such a skill.

Or maybe I’m selling him short. Perhaps I’m failing my partner by denying him of such a quality of the human mind. An intelligence called humor.

I stand by my educated guess, but with an open mind.

Step 4: Conduct an Experiment

I’m on a mission to answer the question of all questions. Expose the truth of all truths. Let’s start, shall we?

Monday

I told a knock-knock joke to set the mood. No, it wouldn’t get the stomach-aching, throat-pinching, ear-pinching laugh that I’m looking for, but it will test out his comedic intelligence. Because that’s something I’ve never considered Akashi Seijurou having: a sense of humor. Not even a good sense, but the slightest sense where he can explain the dynamics of a well-defined narrative aka a joke.

The exchange went…well let’s just say it went.

“Knock, knock.”

“Ah, I know how this goes.” [He leans forward.] “Who is at the door?”

“N-no, Seijurou. That’s not it.”

“You were knocking on my hypothetical door. I asked who it is. What is the problem?”

“No babe. You’re supposed to say, who’s there? You have to use a particular phrasing for the sake of the joke.”

“Very well. Let’s try again. I’ll get it this time.”

Trail #2

“Knock, knock.”

“Who is there?”

“Old lady?”

[There was a pause.]

“Old lady who?”

[Victory.]

“Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!”

“Is this when I laugh because I don’t have the urge to…Nor would anyone else it has been told to, I’m sure.”

Wednesday

Next is traditional. I decided to get a little creative with this one. Make it a bit personal. It was clear he understood the importance of the narrative of a joke, but perhaps he needed a connection to make it funny. We were going for a giggle here. Maybe a half-laugh of some kind.

Neither was gained.

“Okay Sei-kun. I’ve got another joke for you.”

“I’m working on a new offensive play, but I can multitask. I am listening.”

“What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight?”

“Become a referee.”

“No, he becomes— Wait. How did you know?”

“I researched jokes in preparation for today so I’d be able to partake.”

“No, Akashi! You’re not supposed to know the joke. It’s not something you study!”

“I thought that one was quite humorous actually. Jokes4Us is a rewarding website.”

Thursday

He laughed. He fucking laughed at a joke. Yes. A stomach-aching, throat-soring, ear-pinching laugh that could be heard from 10 feet away. And, it wasn’t my joke.

It was a fucking meme on his phone.

I’d been walking back to my bedroom after using the bathroom and heard the strangest sound coming from behind my door. It was like a baritone hiccup that just wouldn’t stop.

When I pushed into my room, I was almost shocked to my knees. There he was. My humorless boyfriend on my bed. Akashi Seijurou. Holding his stomach. Eyes closed and teeth bared in a series of giggles that most likely were so genuine, they looked painful.

And, you’re not gonna believe the fucking joke.

“Seijurou, what are you laughing at?”

[He hardly gets the words out and passes me the phone instead.]

“What are you going to be when you grow up?” [A pause and then,] “…Dead?”

“D-Do you understand the jest?”

“No, I don’t understand the joke.”

“It’s a play on nihilism. The philosophy that life is meaningless, which includes the rejection of all religious and moral principles in exchange for coping with existentialism. The joke is in the oversimplification of the theory and the commonality of the existential crisis among human beings. That is such a good joke.”

“So, you’re saying you find humor in absolute nothingness?”

[He can hardly answer as another collection of chuckles block his words and he dips back on the bed.]

Step 5: Data Analysis & Conclusion

I was wrong. Akashi has the ability to laugh.

But, I’ve also learned something from this experiment: my boyfriend enjoys the shared suffering of human beings and uses it to cope.

Unfortunately, that makes me question his humanity even more.

More research to come. Stay tuned.