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imaginedxlan · 3 years

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Drivers License Pt. 2 (Ron Weasley)

a/n: You guys absolutely went off for part 1, thank you so so much!! Someone requested that I make a part 2 where y/n finally gets a happy ending, but without ron so I decided to kind of run with the idea, this time sort of from ron’s point of view.

disclaimer: the timeline in the books/movie are gonna line up in this one. I know they didn’t have a seventh year and i know ron kissed lavender before winter but this is obv not cannon, go with it, also fred dying was a prank anyway so YOU THOUGHT it would be included. absolutely not.

After taking y/n’s affection for granted, Ron realizes he’s made a huge mistake when she’s moved on to be happy without him

warning(s): cussing, sadness, broke my own heart writing this

Pay attention to the gif, keep it in your mind towards the end.

Part 1

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And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do

It took a long time for you to move on from Ron, you didn’t have to look very far to do so. Ginny had told off Ron one night for hurting you without realizing the twins were awake and hearing all the nasty things Ron put you through. By that point he and Hermione were no longer together, she realized he was too good of a friend to lose to a ‘stupid school relationship.’ So now he was alone, completely clueless to the fact that someone else had begun pining over you.

“Merlin, not this again.” Harry groans into his textbook. The wizarding world was on the verge of destruction and all Ron could speak about was how much he missed you. “Ron, we get it you fucked up with her, get over it.”

The boys had heard the same speech everyday. He would first start off with ‘I know I say this a lot’ then go onto name the things he misses most about you. Your hair, your eyes, your laugh, how small your hands are compared to his. He then groans about how stupid he is for, well, everything.

“I never heard you talk about her before now,” Dean adds, actually semi-invested in the drama that surrounded Ron’s love life. “Whats so special about her anyway?”

How could he even begin to explain what was so special about you. As much as he wished he could say he lied to you about everything he said to you, how easy it would be if he never gave a shit about you, that just isn’t the case. You had this way of making him feel safe whenever he held you. He wasn’t lying when he told you that you felt like home, he just didn’t mean to say it to soon. Maybe that was the reason he decided to kiss Lavender Brown, knowing you were watching. He wanted to push you away in the most hurtful way possible that you never even thought about coming back to him, but immediately regretted that decision.

You also had this weird hold on him, even when he was with Hermione, he would catch a glimpse of your smile and his heart would drop into his stomach. He would see your eyes sparkle in the light of the living room fire place when you were visiting the Burrow and want to scream out that he never meant to hurt you. He notices things about you that you probably hadn’t even noticed about yourself. The way your nose will scrunch when you focus really hard when Ginny tries to teach you wizard chess, how he wishes you would let him close enough to teach you. His heart aches when he notices you shift away from him, even after he and Hermione broke up. When you and Gin walk into the Great Hall for dinner and you go out of your way to sit as far from his as you can.

“You don’t understand,” Ron huffs out, rolling onto his side, wishing you were laying close into his chest like you used to. “She’s something else.”

“Ron, I know you miss her and everything but I have to tell you that you missed your chance,” Harry tells him. “Ginny tells me more than she probably should about all of this, she’s finally moved on from you mate, let it go.”

But how could he? How could he move on when you’re constantly around? He can hear a laugh from all the way down the hall and immediately know its falling from your lips, he’ll hear the sound of an engine from his bedroom window and know you’ve arrived for one of your weekend stays. The way you get on so well with his family, you’re perfect for him, you always have been but he took you for granted and now all he can do is complain to his friends about how he let you go.

And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh And I just can't imagine How you could be so okay now that I'm gone?

He thought for a long time that you were a temporary fix for his feelings that ran deep within him for Hermione, but being with her only made him realize that it was you all along. How could he have been so stupid? He refused to let his friends know you were together, in fear that Hermione would lose the feelings he had prayed she felt toward him, but in doing so he only pushed you away.

“Ron, we can’t keep sneaking around like this.” You would tell him after he pulled you into a broom closet in the middle of the day. “They’ll find out eventually, it’s not like Ginny would be cross with either of us.”

Ron was never able to give you a clear answer when it came to why you had to hide from everyone, not wanting to admit to you that it was because he was hung up on his best friend. Looking back now, it was the stupidest decision he ever made. While your relationship was chaotic and spontaneous and secretive, it was still something he now yearned for everyday, he needed to feel what he felt for you then. More specifically, he needed you to feel what you felt for him back then too. Admittedly, he never loved Lavender Brown, she was only there to stroke his ego. He thought he loved Hermione, but how can you fully love someone if your heart is connected to someone else? Loving you felt different than with anyone else, his chest burned and his hands tingled whenever you were around him.

That’s why it hurt him so badly to see you move on, and not to just anyone. After Ginny’s outburst toward her brother over how he continued to treat her best friend, a certain Weasley grew closer to you. At first, George wanted to apologize to you for the way his brother treated you as well as help you navigate co-existing with the boy. However, the more time you spent with George, the closer you became. You found yourself laughing at his stupid pranks that wouldn’t have even warranted a grin years ago. You felt the need to be near him grow more everyday, Ron noticed your sudden draw toward his brother as well.

He couldn’t understand how after, according to Ginny, crying over him for days on end, barely being able to get into your car to drive to the Burrow in fear of seeing him you could all of a sudden move on to his brother. Now that he realized how bad he messed up, he’s miserable that you weren’t around him, that you didn’t love him like you used to. How could you not feel the same hollow feeling he did?

What Ron didn’t see was that you did feel that hollow feeling, for months actually. You watched him fall in love and out of it twice before he realized you were the one, but by that time you didn’t have anything left to give him. You were healing in a way that caused you to grow apart from him even further. You found happiness is sleepovers with Ginny, helping Molly in the kitchen, and now long drives with George. You no longer felt like you needed Ron to survive. You didn’t eat, sleep, and breathe him anymore and that killed him.

You were careful to never make Ron feel the same way you did when you saw him with Lavender and Hermione, you weren’t as cruel as he was back then, but it was no secret that you and the twin had sparked some sort of relationship. Ginny was over the moon, as she began to lose hope in having you as a real sister by being with Ron, George came in and saved the day. If you thought Ron was mature for his age, George was practically ten times more. The more responsible of the twins, he always seemed to know exactly what to do and say in every situation. He always gave the best advice. What to do when a professor wouldn’t let up, how to sneak around the halls of Hogwarts at night, and most commonly how to continue in your growth while the one person who seems to stunt it is living only a stones-throw away. While you were still in school and he was running the shop, he would send you letters updating you on his life and beg you to come work at the shop with him and Fred when you finish school, telling you that you would make an excellent addition to the team. His words never failed to make you blush.

He’s three years older than you, almost twenty by the time you had moved on completely from Ron, so nothing ever really happened with George then, but your growing companionship could only be expected to blossom from there. Ron couldn’t stand it. Of all people you could seek comfort in, it had to be his brother. He would hear you gushing to Ginny about the most recent letter you received in the Common Room or witness you and George chatting about something completely arbitrary over Christmas and seethe with anger. In his mind, if you had ever truly loved him like you say you did, you wouldn’t be so content knowing that you two would never be together.

Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe

It was no longer a secret to any of the Weasley clan that Ron was miserable. When he’s at school, he’s complaining to his friends about what he could have done differently so that he could have you. At home he begged his sister to stop bringing you around, as if he had any say in whether or not you visited the Burrow. Now being old enough to use magic outside of Hogwarts, he would apparate out any time he heard you pull up to his driveway. He would go to London mostly, distracting himself in the busy streets and crowds of people.

It never worked. Somehow everywhere he turned he thought he would catch a glimpse of your hair blowing in the wind. He would shake his head just to realize you were never there. Any white car that passed next to him would immediately strike fear in his heart, thinking you were behind the wheel, but you never were. He couldn’t decide if he was looking for you in everything or if he was so afraid to see you that he imagined you everywhere. Nevertheless, there was nothing Ron Weasley could do that would effectively distract himself from you, and he’s now starting to realize it’s all his fault.

If he hadn’t been so self centered to fall into Lavender Brown’s compliments and praises due to his egomania, he would have never kissed her in front of you. At the time he thought of it as kind of a test, how far could he push you before you were no longer kissing the ground he walked on. Seeing you still tremble at his touch or your cheeks heat up whenever he said your name made him feel good, like you would never leave him. Now that you’re gone, he’s kicking himself for pushing that limit. He didn’t know it would take him falling into Hermione’s arms in that hospital bed in front of you to ruin your good opinion of him forever, but if he did he swears he would have called out your name that day instead.

On top of the Dark Lord plotting to take over the wizarding world as he knew it, his last semester was filled with memories of you. Any time he would walk into the common room his heart would fill with sorrow, recalling how it felt to first kiss you there. He would also replay the moment he kissed Lavender Brown in that very spot, after pulling away catching a glimpse of you rushing through the crowd of Gryffindors to get away from him. In that moment he felt like the world’s biggest arse, yet it didn’t keep him from holding onto Lavender a bit longer. He avoided certain hallways that would force him to pass the broom closets and empty classrooms he pulled you into throughout the school day, hiding you from his friends. What a stupid thing to do. Part of him knew back then that he would never feel the way he felt about you for anyone else, but he was greedy.

Seeing you happy without him ripped his heart out of his chest and tore it to shreds. How you would smile down at a piece of parchment, assuming it was a letter from his brother. The sound of your voice carrying through the dorms as you and Ginny would stay up late in the common room talking about nothing and everything all at once. He couldn’t bear living right next to you, co-existing with you, while you just ignored him and grew apart from him.

“Y/n,” He calls your name. You’re alone in the common room, that is until he came in. You hadn’t heard him say your name in a while, you find it doesn’t have the same impact on you as it did a year ago and you’re grateful for that. “Y/n, can I talk to you?”

“What is it, Weasley?” You ask him, hoping the dismissal you intended in your tone translates. You had spent months avoiding him, avoiding the longing gazes, so that you could pick up the pieces of your heart that he shattered and put them back together. He doesn’t respond for a while, just admiring how you look in the glow of the fireplace. “I don’t have all night, get on with it.”

“Right,” He replies, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. He takes a seat on the arm chair across from the couch that you’re sat on, careful not to get too close. Your face is cold, he almost doesn’t recognize you without your smile. “I messed up, Y/n. I know I did. I fucked it all just to have a quick fix because I’m arrogant and selfish. I was so lost back then, in my own pride, that I didn’t know what I wanted out of life. But I know now what I needed then, what I need now.”

You don’t reply. Your heart is sinking but you do a great job of hiding it. Your face doesn’t change even though your inside is screaming. After months of crying and misery, watching the first boy you had fallen in love with fawn over what felt like every girl in the school, you had finally stopped hurting. Your heart doesn’t ache when you see him anymore, you don’t blush when you hear his name and you stopped yearning for his touch. Yet now, he has the audacity to try and fix it. Months ago you would have welcomed this grand gesture of what you can only assume to be a confession of the love he never lost for you, but you’re not the person you were then, thanks to the boy sat in the armchair that forced you to grow up and move on from him so soon.

“Say something.”

“Say something?” You ask, gawking at his audacity and slamming your book next to you. “You dangle your little relationships in front of me for almost a fucking year, pretending like I never meant anything to you and you’d like me to say something? Do you understand what kind of pain you caused? I cried until I had nothing left because you told me all these nice things about me, you told me you loved me, then you kissed Lavender right in front of me. Not only that but I spent hours, Ron, hours sitting next to your bed in the hospital scared shitless that you were going to die in there. You know who came twenty minutes before you woke up, Granger. I was there for hours and who’s name you did you call out? Hers. Months ago I would have eaten this shit up, Weasley. You could have come in here and told me my hair looked different and I would have fallen in love with you all over again. Not anymore. I’m finally happy, you don’t get to ruin that because things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to with Hermione.”

He sits in front of you, shocked. Part of him expected you to always want him, to come back to him even after all this time but he was wrong. He looked at you, hoping that maybe you were lying, that you were just scared to get hurt again so you put on a face for him but the look in your eyes told him more than what just fell from your lips. You hate him.

“Y/n, please.” He whimpers as you start to collect your things to leave this room immediately. There are only two of you but you feel suffocated. “I love you.”

“Shut up.” You tell him, not in jest, not to tease him but genuinely wanting him to stop speaking. “Don’t you dare say that to me ever again. You don’t deserve to know what it’s like for me to love you, you never did.”

You leave him sitting alone in the common room, heart shattered from your words that dug into him like a thousand knives. He replayed it over and over again, to feel something other than the numbness that was sure to come in time when you love someone you cannot have. He still had to be around you, watch you live your life without him. He had to see you laugh and know he could never put a smile like that on your face ever again. In order to fully heal from the heartache he was facing he knew he had to separate himself from you, to leave for a while so he didn’t have to see you fall in love with his brother, but he couldn’t. He decided he would rather have you in the smallest way possible, watching you from afar, seeing you smile like you once did at him, then never see you again.

Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe

Years Later

Following your last year at Hogwarts, you followed George’s orders and began working at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. The twins were overjoyed to have your help, George especially so to have you around so often. With you 18 and he 21, after all these year he made his move on you, your friendship blossoming into something more.

You finally knew what it felt like to love and be loved back. George never tried to keep you from his friends, he never snuck off with you to hide your relationship, rather he paraded you around, proud that ‘someone like him was able to swing someone like you.’ He made you blush every time he looked at you, his handsome smile always pulling at your heartstrings. You had become addicted to being loved in that way.

Ron didn’t love your new relationship with his brother as much as as you did. He knew you deserved someone good, someone who would treat you right, he just wished it didn’t have to be someone who placed you in his life indefinitely. His heart ached whenever he would see George’s hand reach for yours as you giggled through the backyard of the Burrow. The worst was when he caught the two of you kiss for the first time.

It was late in the Summer, just after you and Ginny finished your years at Hogwarts. You were visiting just like you always did that time of year and late one night Ron heard rustling down from the main floor. Fearing that an animal had gotten in the house, he immediately searched for the origin of the noise. What he was met with was worse than if an acromantula had found its way into his kitchen. There you were, your hands tangled in his brother’s fiery red hair and his resting on your waist, your body pressed up to the sink. As he watched your lips against his brother’s, he felt as if a fire had engulfed his heart, his chest beginning to sting as it became harder to breathe. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t stop you two, just turned on his heels and darted back to his bedroom. When he was finally safe in his solitude, he slid against his door and broke down. The memories of the two of you in that very kitchen years ago flooded his sense.

During winter break of his sixth year and your fifth, the two of you spent your time cooking and cleaning together in that kitchen, laughing over the littlest things. Even when you weren’t right next to each other, he could still hear your laugh over all the commotion in the house. It was and still is his favorite sound. He wishes that he could bring that sound from your lips again, hoping that maybe one day you’ll realize your love for his brother is really misdirected love toward him, but that all changed.

You’re now 22 and George is 25. You have officially been together for four year. The shop had expanded immensely, renovations to the first store and new shops opening up all over the country and the continent. You count yourself lucky to be a part of it, to be able to say your boyfriend was the co-owner of the most successful joke shop in Europe. Being able to see how his eyes glow like it’s his first day of work every single day still makes your heart smile.

Tonight is another unveiling event of a new shop, this one in Spain. However, this new location being the 10th shop to open up in the continent, the boys decided this launch party would be more formal than the last, a bigger celebration. You all are dressed up, George in a tuxedo and you in a floor length gown. You loved seeing George in his everyday clothes, thinking he would look handsome in a potato sack, but there is something about that boy in a suit. All your friends and family are there, investors too. It’s a night you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Ginny is still your best friend, you can’t imagine a day when she isn’t. You still have sleepovers in the Burrow even though you had your own lives and own flats. She’s still with Harry, a ring now occupying her left finger. When he proposed you and Ginny immediately started planning the wedding, there was no question who the maid of honor would be. She practically begs her older brother to make an honest woman out of you every time she sees him because she wants to, like almost everything in your lives, go through this experience with you.

Ron is there, of course he is. One of the biggest milestones in his older brothers’ career paths so far, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. He works at the shop sometimes, never with you, Fred and George would never be so cruel to ask him to do such a thing. He watched you for most of this night, his brother’s hand resting on your lower back every time he looked. While he knew your smile that you were putting on for investors and old friends was partly exaggerated so you could better play your role of proud girlfriend to the co-owner, he still admired how it sparkled like no one else’s he had ever seen. You grew more beautiful with every year you aged, this of course hurt him to still see you so happy without him.

You catch Ron’s stares throughout the night, you ignore them for the most part. You have come a long way, you were sixteen with you had your heart absolutely shattered by the boy and now you’re an adult. You have a job, a home, a life that at one point you could have never imagined living without him. The boy you were once completely and utterly bewitched by is now just a faint memory, a small ping in your chest when you think of how someone could hurt you so badly at such a young age. You catch his eye and smile at him, no longer angry with him. Like most things, George helped you process your anger. He couldn’t stand to see you so furious anytime you saw someone who mattered quite a bit to him. George has his moments when he hears something Ron did to you for the first time and becomes outraged, now that he loves you and everything, but he always reminds himself that its in the past.

Ron smiles back, you can tell he’s forcing it, but it’s a step in the right direction. Something tells him that he’ll never fully get over you, that part of his heart will always be in your possession. The only way he can describe his feelings whenever he’s around you anymore is blue, every shade of blue. Sometimes are better than other, a sky blue, a bit brighter but still a hint of sadness. Other times are a navy blue, complete and utter darkness. He hasn’t decided what tonight is blue-wise.

“Fred and I would like to thank you all for coming tonight.” George speaks into a microphone placed on an elevated surface in the new shop. You can’t help but admire his features, he looks so mature. “As you all know, courtesy of this bloody massive sign above our heads, this is our tenth shop to open across the continent. It feels surreal to say, eh Freddie?”

“You said it, George.” Fred replies. “Everyone in this room holds a special place in our heart, you’ve all, in your own ways, made this shop what it is today. We are so grateful to have such loyal and fantastic business partners, friends, and family.”

You want to cry, not a sad cry, but burst into tears over how far the two of them have come. When you first joined them in working at the shop, it was just a corner store on Diagon Alley, now it’s a world wide chain. You see the ins and outs of the business, knowing just how much work the two of them put into this dream. You’re able to catch George’s gaze, mouthing an I love you which he returns with a wink.

“Before we let you all get back to the party, theres one person we would like to specifically thank,” George speaks again before pointing down to you and motioning you to come up with them. You shake your head at him, not wanting to impede on the well deserved attention and praise the boys are getting. “Y/n, this isn’t an option come on up here. Alright, for those of you who don’t know this is my lovely, gorgeous, smart, talented-”

“Alright, get on with it Georgie!” Fred interrupts, making the crowd of people laugh. “I think they get the point.”

“Okay, okay.” George puts his hands up in defense. “Like I was saying, or those of you who don’t know this is Y/n. She’s better known to most of you as the lady who was stupid enough to say yes when I asked her to be my girlfriend, but she was the stores first hired employee. She has been with us for all the renovations, all the expansions and has always supported us in every hair-brained idea Freddie and I have come up with. She has since become our creative director for the company as well as held a seat on our board for, well as long as we’ve had a board. Without her, I think we might just crumble to the ground.”

“Oh stop that!” You don’t mean for it to come out so loud, but you make the crowd laugh again and your cheeks heat up. You slide in front of George to bring your mouth up to the microphone. “They’re making my role seem much larger than it is, all of this that you’ve seen over the years has very little to do with me.”

“Pay no mind to her, she’s being humble.” George retorts, and you decide to stop fighting it. “I guess what I’m trying to say is our lives, especially mine, would be a lot harder if Y/n wasn’t in it. I couldn’t think of a better place, in front of a better group of people, to ask this question.”

Before you can process his words, your boyfriend is lowering down on one knee and pulling a small box out of his pocket. You hear gasps and whistles coming from the crowd, making you turn to see Ginny with the biggest smile on her face. You look back down to George, your hands going to cover your gaping mouth. This is not real. The red haired boy opens the box to reveal a ring, a massive diamond in the center with what seemed like a dozen smaller diamonds surrounding it. So this is where all the money the shops have been making was going.

“Y/n, my dearest love,” He doesn’t even get a full sentence out and you’re already shaking. “It will never make sense to me why you said yes to being my girlfriend, but I’m hoping whatever came over you that day is over you now so you’ll say yes to this one too. Y/n, will you make the happiest bloke to every walk this earth and marry me?”

You can’t even form words, your heart feeling like it’s migrated to your throat. You can only nod and pull him up from his kneeling position to pull him into the tightest hug you’ve ever given. “Yes, yes. One thousand times yes. Georgie, I love you!”

George gives you that smile that melts you in every way and places the ring on your left finger. Ginny finally got her way. He pulls you in for a small kiss and your friends and family clap and shout with joy. You can hear Molly shouting over everyone else. Everyone in the room is clapping and celebrating but one person.

Ron’s mouth is agape, watching as you say yes to spending the rest of your life with his brother. He wants to be happy for the two of you, he wants to be able to celebrate with his family but the dull ache in his heart that has been present since the night in the common room that you told him to never say the words you just shouted to his brother turns into a sharp pain. This is the final nail on the coffin that is the hope Ron held that you would one day be together. That small glimmer dying as the ring is placed on your dainty hand. It doesn’t take long for Harry to notice the look on his best friends face, excusing himself from Ginny for a moment.

“You alright?” Harry asks quietly, careful not to draw attention to the one person in the room that isn’t happen for the newly engaged couple at the front. “Ron you have to at least pretend to be happy for them.”

Ron looks over to Harry and shakes his head. “I wish I could be happy for them mate. Everything in me wishes I had done something differently so it was me asking her that question.”

Harry is quiet for a while, watching as Ron’s face keeps the shocked and defeated look that its held since he saw his brother get on one knee. He balls his hands into fists every few minutes to keep himself from going completely numb. “You really still love her, don’t you? After all this time.”

“‘Course I fucking do.” Ron whispers, not meaning for it to come out as harsh as it did. He and Harry talk for a little while, just to keep his mind off the obvious stressor in the room, until Ginny is pulling Harry away to come and congratulate her best friend. Ron is left alone as we watches your smile, a genuine one this time, is glued to your face as you show anyone and everyone the ring. George is standing proudly beside you, holding your waist. You never look his way, too involved in sharing the most exciting moment of your life, though Ron wishes you would look over to him. He wishes he could catch your eye and sense some form of regret, then come save the day, but that never happens. Today is the darkest shade of blue imaginably, knowing for certain that your whole heart belongs to someone else. Quietly, for no one else to hear but him, he utters:

“I love you, I always will.”

#ron weasley #ron weasley imagine #ron weasley x reader #harry potter #harry potter imagine #george weasley #george weasley imagine #weasley imagine #weasley twins #gryffindor #gryffindor imagines

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iamthenightcolormeblack · 3 years

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Pride and Prejudice 1940: "When Pretty Girls T-E-A-S-E-D Men Into Marriage"

Made during the Great Depression, this classic black and white film is loosely based on Austen's novel and is set in what is likely the 1830s rather than the Regency Era (late 18th century to early 19th century). It is an escapist piece which capitalizes on nostalgia for a simpler time by transporting its viewers to a chocolate-box vision of the past, while paying homage to Austen's social satire by delivering plenty of laughs along the way.

Overall Thoughts on the Film:

The first time I watched this movie, I was confused because the plot as well as the setting was revised significantly (the events after Darcy's first proposal are changed to hasten the happy ending; Darcy's letter and Elizabeth's visit to Pemberley are not included in this movie). This changing of plot points makes the 2005 movie a much more faithful adaptation in comparison with this version, in spite of the creative liberties both take with the novel.

Production Design:

The movie is a typical example of Golden Age Hollywood productions, with beautiful actresses and melodramatic flourishes added to increase the drama. Some of the lines are delivered very quickly, in keeping with the comedic style of the time.

The music: definitely not historically accurate. A lot of sentimental, "ye olde timey" string arrangements that emphasize emotions or fast-paced waltz music for balls/parties.

The 1830s costumes are beautiful; it seems as if no expense (or quantity of fabric) was spared in making them. The bonnets are way taller and have more decorations than typical 1830s bonnets. Some of the patterns/fabric choices are very 1930s, and the costumes are exaggerated in such as way as to make the wearers look like fancy turkeys.

Hair and Makeup: very 1930s, with finger/sausage curls, plucked eyebrows, lipstick/lip makeup, and long lashes.

The sets: the dollhouse-like interiors are lavishly gilded and made to look as opulent as possible. Outdoors scenes are lush, with lots of flowers and bushes; the garden in which the second proposal takes place is gorgeous. The set design transports the viewer into an idyllic vision of the bucolic English countryside.

The Lead Actors:

With the exception of Laurence Olivier, the majority of the actors are American, since this is a Hollywood production. Many of the characters in the film's imaginary vision of pastoral Britain speak American or make clumsy attempts to imitate British English.

Greer Garson: while she is definitely too old for the part, she perfectly conveys Elizabeth's intelligence, outspokenness, and sarcasm. Her facial expressions are killer as well; with the arch of an eyebrow along with a snarky side eye, she captivates us all. All in all, Garson effectively shows off Elizabeth's impertinence through her nonverbal acting (this reminds me strongly of Jennifer Ehle's Elizabeth Bennet).

Laurence Olivier: he effectively conveys Darcy's pride while hinting at his deeper feelings beneath the surface (I can see why Colin Firth spoke so highly of Olivier's portrayal of Darcy). Most importantly, the film emphasizes Darcy's intelligence; he is certainly Elizabeth's intellectual equal. While this portrayal of Darcy is very accurate to the book, Darcy's pride does go away pretty quickly (he and Elizabeth form a tentative friendship early on) and his social awkwardness isn't immediately obvious thanks to his charm. Also the unflattering hairstyle with the greasy hair and painted on sideburns makes me sad.

Key Scenes:

Opening scene: The title card appeals directly to the audience's nostalgia for a sentimental, romanticized past: “It happened in OLD ENGLAND (this was actually capitalized), in the village of Meryton…” The Bennet women are at a fabric shop, where they gossip with aunt Phillips about the rich people moving into Netherfield Park.

The carriage race: this scene, which isn’t in the original novel, represents the rivalry between the Bennets and Lucases. The mothers both want their daughters to be the first to snag the rich bachelors.

The first ball: There is a historical anachronism as the music is a waltz by Strauss, who became popular in late 19th century, specifically the Gilded Age; far too early for the Regency Era or 1830s England. Other changes from the original novel include Elizabeth meeting Wickham before Darcy; other events from Aunt Phillips’ ball (which isn’t included in this movie) and Wickham and Darcy’s confrontation are included in this scene.

Elizabeth’s impression of Darcy at the ball: she puts on airs and mocks his casual dismissal of her as tolerable (definitely a parallel with the 1995 version, where Jennifer Ehle does the same, but privately with Jane).

Great comedic change: Darcy introduces himself to Elizabeth after calling her tolerable and asks if she will dance with him (this originally takes place at Mr. Lucas' ball). Right after rejecting Darcy, she instantly agrees to dance with Wickham; in a humorous moment, Darcy evacuates to a corner of the room to sulk while seeing Wickham dance with Elizabeth.

The “Accomplished woman” scene: the dialogue lifted directly from the book for the most part. Darcy, in a departure from his trademark seriousness, shows off his playful side when reacting to Caroline Bingley's "turn about the room." I particularly like this added repartee from Elizabeth Bennet to Darcy, which is clever but also foreshadows her prejudice: “If my departure is any punishment, you are quite right. My character reading is not too brilliant.”

Elizabeth can't stand Mr. Collins: After twirling about his monocle, he pronounces that: “It might interest you to know my taste was formed by lady Catherine de Bourgh.” The best part of this scene is when Elizabeth plucks a wrong note on her harp when Collins gets really annoying.

The Netherfield ball (which is now a garden party):

Elizabeth running away from Mr. Collins: She looks rather ridiculous, almost like an overdressed turkey, in a white dress with puffy sleeves as she runs away from an overeager Collins. Then she hides in the bushes while Darcy helps her to hide, telling Collins he doesn't know where she is. It's fun but most likely not something a proper lady and gentleman would do (two people of the opposite gender out alone, shock!).

The archery scene: Darcy attempts to teach Elizabeth how to shoot a bow and arrow, even though he doesn’t hit the bullseye. She goes on to impress him by perfectly hitting the bullseye every time; Darcy learns his lesson: "Next time I talk to a young lady about archery I won't be so patronizing." Caroline Bingley, very passive aggressive as usual, shows up for her archery lesson right after and it's absolutely perfect.

Mr. Collins attempts to introduce himself to Mr. Darcy: Laurence Olivier captures Darcy so perfectly in this scene (really set the precedent for Colin Firth). When Mr. Collins starts talking (inviting Elizabeth to dance with him) Darcy tries to keep himself well-composed but has a pained expression on his face as if he’s about to pass out. Olivier masters the way Darcy can look so miserable but also disgusted and proud at the same time.

Mr. Collin's proposal to Elizabeth: I like the added touch of Mrs. Bennet pulling Elizabeth back by her skirt when she tries to run out of the room. The dialogue is taken directly from the book, and the scene is made even funnier when Collins holds on to Elizabeth's hand desperately and doesn’t let her get away. My only quibble is that Elizabeth isn’t indignant enough when Mr. Collins doesn't take no for an answer.

Elizabeth and Darcy at Rosings: I like that Olivier subtly indicates that Darcy is clearly affected upon seeing Elizabeth at Rosing, hinting at deeper feelings beneath the surface. I also like how the scriptwriter emphasizes that Darcy indirectly praises Elizabeth and enjoys their conversations, while she remains convinced that he hates her. Sadly, the original dialogue of the piano scene is not included, which is unfortunate as it allows Darcy to reveal his introvert tendencies, calling into question Elizabeth's assertion that he is unpardonably proud.

First proposal: The famous opening lines are mutilated with awkward punctuation: “It’s no use. I’ve struggled in vain. I must tell you how much I admire and love you." While the rest of the dialogue matches up closely with what happens in Austen's novel, both of the actors aren’t emotional enough; instead Elizabeth cries very daintily, and Darcy remains serene, which conflicts with the book's description of both of them being very angry and defensive at each other.

THE SCRIPT:

The first half of the film up to Darcy's first proposal follows the events of the original book closely, though certain blocks of dialogue are moved elsewhere and other events such as Mrs. Phillips' party are skipped over. The most significant changes, besides updating the setting to the 1830s, are made to the second half of the book to squeeze the key events of the story into the movie before delivering the inevitable happy ending.

Brilliant Quotes:

Mr. Bennet's reaction to Mrs. Bennet's despair over the situation of their 5 unmarried daughters: “Perhaps we should have drowned some of them at birth.”

Darcy insists Elizabeth cannot tempt him: “Ugh. Provincial young lady with a lively wit. And there’s that mother of hers.”

Darcy is an arrogant snob: “I’m in no humor tonight to give consequence to the middle classes at play.” (Technically the Bennets are part of the gentry; they just are less wealthy than Darcy).

Elizabeth's reaction to Darcy pronouncing her to be tolerable at best: “What a charming man!”

Elizabeth rebuffs Darcy's offer to dance after overhearing his insult: “I am afraid that the honor of standing up with you is more than I can bear, Mr Darcy.”

Elizabeth favors Wickham after witnessing the bad blood between him and Darcy: “Without knowing anything about it I am on your side.”

Mrs. Bennet's comment after she sends Jane to Netherfield under stormy skies: “There isn’t anything like wet weather for engagements. Your dear father and I became engaged in a thunderstorm.”

Mr. Bennet's reaction to Jane's fever: “Jane must have all the credit for having caught the cold…we’re hoping Elizabeth will catch a cold and stay long enough to get engaged to Mr. Darcy. And if a good snowstorm could be arranged we’d send Kitty over!”

The sisters' description of Mr. Collins: “Oh heavens! what a pudding face.”

Caroline Bingley at the Netherfield garden party: “Entertaining the rustics is not as difficult as I feared. Any simple childish game seems to amuse them excessively.”

Darcy reassuring Elizabeth after helping her escape Mr. Collins: “If the dragon returns St. George will know how to deal with it.”

Darcy learns his lesson after Elizabeth beats him at archery: “The next time I talk to a young lady about archery I won’t be so patronizing.”

Elizabeth comments about a curtain: “Oh that’s pretty. It’s a pity you didn’t make it bigger. You could have put it around Mr. Collins when he becomes a bore.”

Elizabeth on Kitty and Lydia: “2 daughters out of 5, that represents 40% of the noise.”

Elizabeth sees Lady Catherine for the first time: “So that’s the great lady Catherine. Now I see where he learned his manners.”

Lady Catherine's attitude towards philanthropy: “You must learn to draw a firm line between the deserving poor and the undeserving poor.”

Darcy takes Elizabeth's advice: “I’ve thought a great deal about what you said at Netherfield, about laughing more...but it only makes me feel worse."

Elizabeth and Darcy have a conversation with Colonel Fitzwilliam: “He likes the landscape well enough, but the natives, the natives, what boors, what savages … Isn’t that what you think, Mr. Darcy?” With a smile: “It evidently amuses you to think so, Miss Bennet."

CHANGES FROM THE BOOK:

The first half of the film up to Darcy's first proposal follow the events of the original book closely, though certain blocks of dialogue are moved elsewhere and other events such as Mrs. Phillips' party are skipped over. The most significant changes, besides updating the setting to the 1830s, are made to the second half of the book to squeeze the key events of the story into the movie before delivering the inevitable happy ending.

With the exception of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, the portrayals of the characters are (generally) true to the book.

As I said earlier, the film neglects any sort of historical accuracy when setting the story in romanticized "Old England," where genteel people pass simple lives that revolve around dresses, tea parties, social gossip, and marriages. A lot of Austen adaptations present an idealized vision of Regency life, where people are dressed immaculately, flawlessly adhere to "chivalry," and find love in the ballroom. This contributes to the misconception that Austen's novels are shallow chick-lit books with flat characters who live for lavish parties and hot men, instead of stories of unique, complicated women who happen to be well-off but aspire towards love, respect, or independence instead of being content to make economically advantageous marriages. Austen's novels are character novels and she doesn't waste time writing about dresses or tea parties; balls, while exciting, are just another part of daily life for her characters rather than some Extremely Big Special Once In a Blue Moon Event.

Austen's multifaceted view on marriage turns into a game of matchmaking. She recognizes it as necessary for women to survive in the patriarchy, since they cannot provide for themselves unless they marry well, but at the same time, presents marriage as a means for freedom if it is a loving partnership between two people that respect each other. In contrast, marriage is a game of manipulating the partners into wanting to marry (ex. Lady Catherine and Darcy's trickery). Also, it seems to be a given that Elizabeth will marry for love, unlike in the book where it is uncertain whether she will achieve this.

Kitty and Lydia's antics are viewed much more sympathetically as those of young people having fun; in the book, their behavior harms the family's social reputation, reducing the chances the Bennet daughters have of making good marriages.

Louisa Hurst, Georgiana Darcy, and Aunt and Uncle Gardiner are not in the movie.

Wickham is introduced much earlier than in the book; he is friends with Lydia from the very beginning. Interestingly, he doesn't begin to trash-talk Darcy until Bingley leaves; in the book he does so much earlier, before the Netherfield ball.

Darcy is more considerate towards Elizabeth at the Netherfield party (ex. rescuing her from Collins), until he overhears Mrs. Bennet scheming to get the daughters married. Elizabeth forms a tentative friendship with him until finding out that he separated Jane from Bingley.

Jane is more obviously heartbroken over Bingley's departure than in the book, where she keeps her pain to herself. In the movie, she runs away to cry, which is uncharacteristic of her.

Collins is a librarian instead of a clergyman. I dislike this change because some Austen scholars/fans think that Collins being a clergyman is a deliberate choice as part of Austen's social criticism. Collins is representative of how hypocritical the Church is, since he worships Lady Catherine's wealth instead of God, and preaches moral lessons instead of actually using religion to help people. My theory is that the change was made because of the Hays Code, which led to the censorship of movies for "unwholesome" or "indecent" things; the religious criticism could have been offensive.

Elizabeth reacts rather too kindly to Charlotte marrying Collins by showing concern for the loveless marriage. While she does worry about the lack of love in the marriage, initially she is extremely surprised, outright shocked, and confused.

The scene where Darcy tries and fails to talk to Elizabeth (the "charming house" scene in the 2005 movie) just before the proposal is removed.

Darcy's letter is skipped over and Elizabeth overcomes her prejudice of Darcy very quickly, as shown when she tells Jane she regrets rejecting his proposal. This is contrary to the book, where overcoming her prejudice is an emotionally exhausting and slow process that continues all the way up until the second proposal.

The Pemberley visit is removed; instead, Elizabeth returns home to the news that Lydia has eloped. Visiting Pemberley is very important as part of Elizabeth's re-evaluation of Darcy's character and provides an opportunity for Darcy to show Elizabeth that he has changed for her. The visit is key in increasing Elizabeth's love for Darcy, and removing it means that the characters have less personal growth (also wouldn't it have been great for the audience to be treated to another gorgeous estate of "Old England?"). Instead, Darcy visits Longbourn on his own and offers his help in finding Lydia. When the news comes that Wickham accepts very little money in exchange for marrying Lydia, it isn't as shocking as it is in the book because Darcy had already expressed his intentions of helping Elizabeth earlier.

Here's the change that bugs me the most: Lady Catherine becomes good; though she is a busybody, her main priority is Darcy's happiness. Her confrontation of Elizabeth is a scheme hatched between her and Darcy as a test to be certain of Elizabeth's love. This does not make sense on so many levels: first, Darcy insists that "disguise of every sort is my abhorrence," so why would he resort to trickery, however well-intentioned, to find out if Elizabeth still loves him? Second, Lady Catherine is a social snob and objects to Elizabeth's low connections; also she has an arranged marriage planned for Darcy. Third, in the book, because Elizabeth likes Pemberley and gets along really well with his sister Georgiana, Darcy would have had some evidence that Elizabeth, in the very least, cared for him. And the added claim that Lady Catherine approves of Elizabeth because she likes rudeness and thinks Darcy needs a humorous wife irritates me further because the marriage of Elizabeth and Darcy is revolutionary since it was made in defiance of societal rules!!! Why, why, why in the name of comedy did they have to do this?!

Darcy kisses Elizabeth (in a stagey and melodramatic way) after she accepts his second proposal. Seems a bit uncharacteristic of him.

All the sisters get married at the end. Happily ever after.

CONCLUSION

This movie certainly was not aiming for faithfulness to Austen's novel; it ignores her detailed portrait of Regency era society and its attitudes and focuses on the "light, bright, and sparkling" aspect of Pride and Prejudice that gives the story its timeless appeal.

All in all, this comedy of manners is definitely a classic thanks to the clever dialogue and jokes within the script, along with some great acting.

@appleinducedsleep @dahlia-coccinea @princesssarisa @colonelfitzwilliams @austengivesmeserotonin

#pride and prejudice 1940 #pride and prejudice #pride and predjudice #jane austen #movies #movie review #laurence olivier #classic movies #we stan p&p 1940

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iknowyouthinkimbulletproof · 4 years

Text

The Scar- Calum Hood

A/N: another 5sos fic! Calum hood x y/n. Y/n’s gender is female for this fic, it just made it easier to write, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. Feel free to correct any mistakes! there will be a part two!

WARNINGS: this fic does contain multiple mentions of an abusive family, read at your own risk.

Not my gif!

plot: y/n and Calum meet for the first time!

2430 words

When y/n was still a child she had always dreamed of becoming a celebrity, like every other kid. unlike the other children though, it seemed impossible to her. To y/n, she sounded horrible, not to mention the looks. y/n had always thought this way because there was never one person to tell her otherwise. It's not like anyone knew what she was struggling with to be fair. Years of practice and motivation from her parents, the only time they encouraged y/n, lead to y/n being the perfect actor in front of others. No one would notice the damage done to y/n because the walls built around her took a team of three to build and would most likely take an even bigger team to deconstruct. Or at least that's what she thought. Apparently all y/n needed was a wrecking ball.

Day after day y/n would wake early to sit in front of her mirror with a brush. She normally wasn’t the type to hate anything, other than her parents, because nothing could compare to the years of trauma her parents had stocked her up on. So when y/n said she hated her foundation brushes, she meant it.

Makeup used to be one of her favorite things, she used it as a pastime. When she was a young teen, she spent most of her time in her room trying as many looks as possible. It wasn’t like her to believe that you could only have one aesthetic, she would change her look up as many times as she wanted. Going from “emo” looks one day to “kawaii” looks the next. It only made sense that she would do the same with her makeup as well. Her parents didn’t seem to mind the looks. Whatever would cover up the bruises they gifted her seemed to be helping them in some twisted way. One day it all fell apart though. Everything her parents had built was destroyed.

The process left y/n with a humongous scar on her face. The scar started right above her right eyebrow. If it had ended below the eyebrow, it would have just seemed like she wanted an eyebrow slit, she might have even been able to cover it easily with a brow pencil. If it had ended there, but it didn’t. It ended right above her jaw bone. It wasn’t straight either. Most scars can go away with time, but hers was too deep. It would never go away. It showed her and the world her past. She hated it.

So, as much as she hated the foundation brushes she used every morning, she continued to use them. That hideous scar needed to be covered up. Especially with all the attention she was getting. Once news came out that two well liked members of y/n’s small hometown abused their child, people were furious. Many tried helping y/n. One of the teachers at school had convinced her to try out for the drama club. She received the leading role in Annie for the school’s play. News spread fast in the town and soon people had begun to call colleges and agencies to come watch her performance, all of which y/n had no clue they were doing. One specific agency had agreed to work with her for free until she got off the ground. She almost rejected the opportunity. That was until her foster mother had informed her that her parents weren’t going to spend as much time in jail as they had hoped. Taking the opportunity had forced y/n to continue high school in Los Angeles. She was also set up with a new foster home. Throughout all of this, the scar was hidden. She didn’t want her chance to leave to be taken away.

Years later and no one she surrounded herself with knew of her past, or even seen her scar. Not even the makeup artists she’s worked with. She always showed up a foundation on and since it was a perfect match to her color, the makeup artists let it slide and just continued to transform her into her characters.

y/n had in fact gotten off the ground, it was now a daily thing for her to be recognized. She even met some celebrities she grew up with.

There was one day though, soon after her 23rd birthday, that y/n had not put on foundation. She felt that she wouldn’t be recognizable without it, so she wanted to try it. She had woken up later than usual then dressed herself in shorts and a tee. She went on a run and low and behold, no one recognized her. She ended up at her usual cafe. Just like every morning, she walked up the cashier and ordered her usual. The cashier, Linda, a nice old lady, who had worked there every morning tried not to stare. It was a weird experience for both of them. Linda could have sworn that y/n looked familiar, but she shrugged it off. y/n was holding back an expression of surprise, she thought that out of everyone Linda would have noticed her. Once she received her coffee, she went to leave. That is when she ran into her wrecking ball, not that she knew it. y/n had spilt her coffee all over the strange man she knew as Calum. She didn’t know much about Calum, she only knew his name from the few times she had heard his name being called for his coffee. She also knew that Cal was well aware of who she was, with makeup that is.

“Im so sorry!” y/n exclaimed. She might’ve still been in shock from the events that had happened so far into the day, but there was no way she could have missed the look she received from the man. It wasn’t one of disgust, but more of one of surprise. The look he had however, didn’t match hers. He wasn’t in surprise from the coffee he had spilt on him, but rather the girl in front of him.

“It’s fine really.” Calum stated as kindly as possible. There was no way he could ever even think of being rude to a lady so beautiful.

“It’s really not, I can pay for the shirt and for whatever you were gonna order.” she offers in a hurried tone even if she wasn’t in a rush. This is because she thought he was trying not to give her pity.

“No need, I actually feel as if I should buy you another one-” he offers, “- it was my fault anyways, i'm so clumsy i’ve been in this situation before.” he lied. y/n was well aware of the lie. Most of the time she was here before him and left after him, she had not seen it happen. An argument be that he’s done it before she moved into the neighborhood, but that also wasn’t true because y/n had witnessed him and Roy struggling to carry a couch into their home while on her run. She had actually had a conversation with Roy and she probably could have become good friends with him if she had tried.

“It's fine really” the words coming out of her mouth this time. Before they could interact anymore though, Linda had appeared to usher them both out of the way to clean the mess that was made. She had begun to lecture Calum, one of her favorite clients, on making a mess when y/n slipped out of the Cafe. she stuck her head back in though to apologize to one last time to both of them before running off.

She had made it home and took a shower when there was a knock at the door. Realizing that her scar was uncovered, she tried to cower.

“Y/n, it’s Roy! I...um brought cookies to celebrate your new movie! Oh and a friend.” That was the last thing she had expected to hear through her door. She knew the friend had to be Calum, she also knew she would have to explain herself to the men. Finally getting the courage, she opened the door. Before you could say anything Calum had begun to talk.

“Hey, it’s you again. What are you doing here?” he asked. Suddenly feeling shy y/n lowered her head.

“Are you ok?” Calum pressed. Looking up again she can see both the boys now wearing concerned faces.

“Y/n?” Roy questioned. Gulping, y/n decided to just rip the bandage off.

“Yep, that's me. Nice to see you Roy.” slightly shaking she opens the door wider as if to invite them in. Roy understood what she meant and walked in, his expression now gone and replaced with his original smile, Calum on the other hand still wore his as he followed his friend in. She led the men into her living room.

“Sorry for the mess.” she states. Calum and Roy looked around to see what she was talking about. Cal’s brows frowning more. There was no mess. To them anyways, to y/n her only thought was that her parents would murder her for having friends over without vacuuming and tidying every corner of the house. They sat down and y/n left to go get them drinks. While in the kitchen she could hear them whispering about her. Wiping any look of sadness from her face, she picked up the drinks and headed back into the living room. Handing them their drinks, she places coasters onto the table for them. They have a light conversation, them being Roy and y/n. Cal was too busy staring at her. He was confused, how could he have not realized. How come he didn’t know that the beauty of both women was actually the beauty of one. Finally giving into the stares y/n sighs.

“I know you’re probably confused about the...um you know-” she says, gesturing to her face, “i just didn’t want anyone to find out about it yet. There’s not really any good memories that came with it. You understand right?”

“Of course!” Roy claims, nodding his head then nudging his friend, who also nodded but not nearly as harsh as Roy had done.

“We won’t say anything if that's what you’re asking” Calum states, he could see that them agreeing with her hadn’t reassured her enough. She smiles gently at him as Roy agrees again. The conversation had now been a lot more free. All three of them were involved now. The conversation drifted to her movie and their music at points. y/n felt bad as she had genuinely gotten a liking to them, Calum in particular. She wanted to talk to them again, but her past was coming to haunt her, she couldn’t. The cookies were amazing, store bought, but amazing. They trio all slowly coming quiet, they had spent hours together chatting. It was now 4 in the afternoon. It seemed as neither man wanted to leave. It had been a while since they had made a new friend. Calum excused himself to the bathroom, leaving y/n and Roy. she tried her best to hint that it may be time for them to leave without seeming rude. Roy helped her bring the cups and trash into the kitchen. He watched as she cleaned each cup multiple times. To him it must have seemed as if she were nervous because she was being watched. To her though, each mug needed to be perfectly spotless or something bad would happen. It was rooted into her mind. If you dug deep enough into it, you would see y/n’s memories of being yelled at and having dishes and pots thrown at her for not having the house perfectly cleaned. Calum, finally out of the bathroom, joined Roy. together they watched the woman dry her hands before turning towards them. Before she could get a word out, Roy suggested that they should get going. Cal’s eyes couldn’t have missed her smile quickly dropping before resuming back to its original place. y/n nods before leading the kind men back to her front door. Roy leaning slightly to give her a hug and saying a quick bye, she responded as she knew how.

“Goodbye.” It was a simple statement really, but she was taught to never try to stay in touch with people outside of necessity. Though she did give him another kind smile, one that shows her teeth in just the slightest way. Now facing Cal who, unlike his friend, was staring at the floor. Roy, waiting for him at the gate, tries his hardest not to watch their interaction. From his point of view, he can see them talking before y/n goes completely still. y/n was in shock, she had never been in this situation before. She didn’t know how to respond. Cal had asked for her number. She didn’t have anyone who wasn’t work related on her phone, should she let herself add a contact for Cal? She didn’t know the answer, she stayed still, evening out her breathing while she felt two different sets of eyes on her. Still as stiff as humanly possible, she smiles and hands her, now open, phone to Calum. He grins so softly that y/n missed it, he handed her his unlocked phone as well. He creates a contact in her phone with all his information before snapping a quick photo of himself. He listed himself as “cute neighbor”, which is quite bold seeing as he had no idea if y/n liked him, and pressed save. On Calum’s phone, y’n had simply only typed her phone number and listed herself as “y/n”. Before she could press save, Calum handed her phone back to her, she looked at the contact and her lips lifted. She turned off her phone and put it in her pocket. She looked back to Calum’s phone and changed her name to “scar girl” before saving the contact and passing the phone back to him. Unfortunately for her, Calum didn’t look at the contact and just shut off the phone. Which might have been better if she thought about it. She didn’t want to see Calum’s reaction to the name, she just hoped it was positive. As they looked into each others eyes, a blush formed onto their cheeks. y/n whispered a silent goodbye before walking back into her home and softly closing the door.

#calum hood x y/n #calum x reader #calum hood #5sos imagine #fic #imagines #lots of love #-lizza

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brooklynislandgirl · 3 years

Note

Beth and UARF!Billy - ❤♡❥ღ💕💘💝💓💌💟💙💚💜💛

Heart-Eyes || -

Five A.M.

Beth’s barely awake as she comes into the office, coffee in hand, only to come face to face with the widest grin she has ever seen on Hal Gates’ face. Dark eyes dancing, he relieves her of her thermos cup, takes both her arms in his hands, and swing-dances her around the cramped space where they work.

“We’ve done it, girl!”

Though abjectly confused, Beth can’t help but grin in return. “Wha’ve we done?” She wants to be just as thrilled, wants to share in the old man’s joy. “We’ve got data on white pointer mating! I’m running the compile now, we should be able to parse it and watch the video footage within an hour or two!”

She’s floored.

The shock is clear on her face, even her mouth drops open a little. Often bandied about as the Holy Grail of marine biology, great-white mating is known to exist. Despite decades of research into the habits of the species, that particular bit of knowledge has eluded marine biologists.

“Wha...? How?”

“Mate of mine, Crawford down in New Zealand has taken a fisherman’s eye-witness account on our elusive little friends, and shared video. Crawford sent me all of the data.”

“Oh, Hal.”

Dr Gates nods at her eagerly and once again promenades her around some tables, brushing past a stack of hastily shoved aside folders with charts of migration patterns, weather reports, and feeding data. Then, far more carefully, he hands her into a seat and plops down into an office chair, slapping his knees in pleasure and pride.

“Speaking of mating rituals...”

Beth laughs but blushes at the same time, eyes askance. She suddenly knows what he’s going to ask, or at least of whom.

“...And since we have so little to do until all the research is collated and complied...”

“Must we?”

“No finer time, girl.”

She holds her hands up to stave him off until she gets up, crosses the room and takes a sip of her coffee. Not exactly how she wanted to start the day, but there’s no real reason not to humour her mentor.

“Have at, den.”

“Excellent.” Hal Gates really is an inveterate old gossip.

~*~

❤: who is more affectionate in public? in private?

Beth laughs. Okay, so this isn’t really so bad. “I t’ink I gotta say...I’m more affectionate in public. Mos’ of da time, Doctah Manderly... just doesn’t know what t’ do. Very stiff, hands in his pockets or stand at parade rest.”

The last cocktail party had been a half disaster, between trying to get William to mingle with the public attendees and not leave to check on his seals at first opportunity. The one time he surprised her was when he put a hand on the small of her back though the illusion was broken when she found that the six-foot-six man was trying to ultimately hide behind her. No amount of mock-tails were going to spare him any acute discomfort.

“Probably for da best. No offence, but he’s very definitely...ah....British.”

“None taken.” Hal offers her a wink and taps the side of his nose.

“But even behind close doors? He just... lil uptight, I guess. I sometimes wonder if mebbe he’s worried about havin’ an episode, and some affections are difficult when you have a service dog nearly t’ree-quarters ya size intent on doin’ her job, but I’d say he at least tries when it jus’ da two of us. Fingahs in my hair, brush against my arm. Da kine.”

Hal nods, knowing the specifics without having to drag them out of her.

♡: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?

"I t’ink,” she begins, carefully considering this one. “Dat anyone who loves da sea so much dat dey would give up a whole life to dedicate demself to it...got a big romantic soul. What is da ocean, if not love an’ life, an’ all dat we dream of in songs an’ poetry? I only t’ink it’s harder for him to express dat because well..”

She makes a dismissive gesture.

It isn’t that he grasps the concepts of language and expression, they’ve certainly entertained passionate arguments, verbal jousts that have filled the air with sign and countersign.

“Romantically speakin’ I jus’ don’ see him as da type dat I’m gonna find outside my window wi’ an ole boom box, playing In Ya Eyes by Petah Gabriel, ya know? But I also don’t believe he wouldn’t t’ink about it. So secretly? Him. Openly, me.”

❥: who is more likely to plan something big for valentine's day?

“Honestly, Hal...I’d have t’ say him. He’s a planner. Wants every detail to be perfect, will second guess himself a hundred times jus’ to make sure dere no wrinkle in the research. Me? Always been da spontaneous kine, except when it came to really wantin’ to work wit’ you.”

Hal pats her lap, his face soft.

ღ: who is more likely to initiate hand-holding in public?

“Again, it would be William. I don’ know wha’ he’s t’inkin’ a lot of da time, if he’s even aware dat I am dere sometimes. An’ I don’ really wanna make a big deal about it, don’ wanna ovahstep. For me, it’s a much more difficult proposition, is like...touch is where I’m most comfortable, outside of typing endless notes or readin’ data.”

She nods toward the words scrolling along the screen. She fully disclosed her disabilities when she applied for the position so thankfully she doesn’t have to explain now. Most of the other people at the facility don’t even really notice. Except for maybe Ben who sees too much and maybe says too little. That’s to be expected though when you gather a bunch of scientists and stick them in one beautiful place.

“You want him to initiate more, don’t you?”

“I would, yeah. But dere always more important kine and so really guess it nevah really matter.”

💕: who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of other people?

“Fair question an’ I guess dat would be me. We...we agreed not to make a big t’ing about any of dis, you know how quirky everyone here is, an’ in case it doesn’t work out, we don’ want da kine t’ get weird. Especially wi’ James an’ Miranda. So if somet’ing like dis were t’ happen it’s probably because he push all my buttons an’ my tempah got da best of me, right? Could see it happenin’ over breakfast. On da beach. Mebbe by da pools.”

Which is why she tries so hard to keep her passions in check. She doesn’t want to blurt out anything that can’t be taken back.

💘: who developed a crush on the other first?

“Couldn’t say,” and in those two words it is the breadth and depth of her honesty. Beth doesn’t have crushes in the same way most people do. She’s never seen anyone and instantly found herself immersed in fantasies, desires, a desperate need to be around them. She might find someone intellectually stimulating and enjoy the conversation. She might notice that something about them calls to her artist’s eye and be aesthetically pleasing in its symmetry, someone might make her laugh but she doesn’t dwell. And by the time there is the first inkling that she might want more out of a situation or relationship, she’s already become close friends. Or she watches as that object of her affection drifts beyond reach and she tells herself she’s happy because they clearly needed something more than she’s even capable of giving.

And sometimes, Beth wonders if she isn’t really broken or damaged in some way. Because she can’t even say she ever had a crush on Billy. She doesn’t know that she can say she has any expectations other than they look good together on paper, and it’s been drilled into her since birth that appearances *do* matter. “Mo’beddah you should ask him.” Gates doesn’t say anything, he only nods.

💝: who spends more time (possibly overthinking) what presents to get the other?

“William. For same-same reasons as Valentines Day, an’ da need for everyt’ing to be as exactin’ as he can make it. Like, how hard and how long it take him to find...or more likely, *breed* dem two purple neocardinas in my office?” Shrimp like the two in her tank, deliriously happy and spoiled and free of predators, are rare in size and colour, and yet… there they are. Then there’s the allegorical evidence of his severe and frothing dislike of mass consumption marketing, the complete commercialisation of every secular and religious holiday, the pastiche of feelings tacked on almost like an afterthought.

💓: who initiates most physical contact?

Beth hesitates. That’s slightly more personal than the other questions so far and truth be told she’s a little ashamed of having to answer without specific parameters. But it is a question, and she did agree to answer them with the same honesty as she offers Hal in all their other work and conversations. “I’ve always done well wi’ sensory input dat was based in kine oddah dan auditory. Smell, taste, seeing… but of alla dem, touch has always been important to me. Textures, near imperceptible data processed t’rough skin. An’ I guess dat I use dat wi’ him. Way to express ideas or sensations dat might not come across ordinarily. Enthusiasm, excitement, humour, rage, disappointment. I wan him to feel an’ understand when I don’ have da words in me, or know how to express. A lot of da time, it’s accidental or at least….subconscious.” A beat goes by. “I don’t believe he really cares much for it.”

💌: who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other?

This one is hard for her to answer because they aren’t really cutesy text people. Most of their days are too filled with very real world drama, service to the greater good, the understanding and conservation of the most vulnerable environments and animals within. There’s weather, there’s reports, there’s an entire litany of experiences that don’t leave much time to play around until well after hours when they can finally seek well deserved liberty. However, Billy does sometimes send her pictures of the seals doing very cute seal things, or Annie shepherding him and his charges with the boss-vibes of the Queen Mother. In the end she only offers her mentor a smile and a shrug.

💟: who spends time reading their zodiac compatibilities?

“Oh absolutely I do. Find da whole pseudo-science of it fascinatin’, especially when da stars are not in da same position as dey were when it was invented an’ da psychological impact it has on our species is jus’ totally wild, you know?”

Beth knows that she’s the textbook definition of a Cancerian woman, and Billy does a good job providing a counter-argument on being a Libra. Further there’s a bit of an annoyance factor; he thinks junk science ‘belongs in the bottom of the bin with the rest of the rubbish.’ And he has a point, to some extent, even if she doesn’t agree with him. Not everything can be cold facts and numbers. Sometimes a little playfulness was in order and he absolutely needed to be reminded of that.

Hal laughs and shakes his head. “You’re going to do my chart then, aren’t you?” “Wit’out a doubt, Doctah Gates.” She wiggles her brows.

💙: who is more protective?

“I think objectively, I am. You know William’s troubles, and I have to keep them all in mind dough it’s not like he can forget dem, right? Some of his facts aren’t… I’ve consulted with some medical doctors and if we are careful, dere’s a lot he can experience dat he sees out of reach but I don’ like bringing dem up because I don’ want to agitate him. Only can lead t’ problems.” She does wish though that he’d trust her a little more, that he’d let go of some of his well deserved fears. That he’d let himself out of his shell and accept that even with limitations he can do many of the same things as the rest of the group does. But he seems content enough to hang back, ever the observer. And she doesn’t know if it’s her place to try to drag him into things though she might be better at it than anyone else. Miranda has told her as much.

💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?

Hal’s question is really a continuation of the previous one and once again she has to call Billy out on it. Because she’s never really been sick a day in her life, not since early childhood and the culmination of that was the test bite that nearly lost her the leg she keeps tucked away, hidden out of sight whenever possible. “Dat seems a small kine ingenious, he no can help his seizure disorder. An’ I feel like he really ought to have a good psychologist. I t’ink some t’erapy would do him good. Spends too much time in his own head an’ mebbe not enough taking charge of his life. I know he can be afraid of lots of t’ings but it nevah really *has* to be dat way. But I also don’ wanna push him, for same-same reasons I mention before. You can lead a shark to chum but no can make him frenzy, know what I mean?” The analogy is silly. Billy wants so much more than what he feels he has. And a darker current in the back of her mind wonders if they would still be the same if he felt he could reasonably have them. That feels so selfish and toxic and she really has no place casting judgement on him when maybe she’s no better off than he is, only expressing it differently.

💜: who said "i love you" first? or, if neither has said it yet, who is more likely to say it first?

It’s strange how perceptive he is and goes in for the killing bite. The honest truth is that neither one has said it. And neither one likely will. Billy has layers of guilt and trauma, has beliefs that she cannot get a single foothold to try and tear apart. He doesn’t feel deserving of such a finer emotion. And Beth? She has her own reasons. She doesn’t even know if love is a thing that exists or if it’s some fairy-tale people tell themselves to make it easier to get by. She believes in affection, and she believes that people bond the same way packs and pods and herds do. But she feels the concept of love is poisonous. Ruinous in the way it can destroy someone from the inside out. And how any time she’s ever thought she’d felt it, it was ripped out from her grasp. She won’t say it. She won’t hear it.

She doesn’t answer him immediately, but instead gets up and paces away, appearing as though she’s checking on some of the cameras situated around the bay. The wall that she’d left down for Hal goes back up, slamming into place.

“Research from both psychology and neurology fields have found that there are twelve different areas of the brain that light up and work together when two people are attracted to one another, releasing chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and vasopression. All the symptoms people experience are simply animal-instincts provided to guarantee that we as a species survive by either wanting to mate, or flee.”

💛: who believes in soulmates?

And Gates understands he’s made an error in judgement, though he’d only been trying to be helpful in a meddling kind of way. Anyone at the facility could see that Billy and Beth were two sides of a very quirky but ultimately needed coin. That they’d both changed each other in the two years she’d been a research fellow, and how they’d both blossomed for it. Well, anyone but the two of them. And this had seemed like such a good idea at first, tied into shark mating habits which he’d hoped she’d take better than she is.

Her answers have thus far matched up quite nicely with the boy’s.

Sadly, especially this one. She doesn’t turn to look at him. “There are no such things, Doctor Gates. And even if there were, statistically it would be almost impossible to meet a soul mate. Within the same general age group there are about a half a billion potential companions all over the world. One would have to travel the entirety of the world, every remote pocket of the planet. Secondly, there’s no scientific proof that souls even exist, and enough studies across various disciplines to prove that they don’t. Believing in such nonsense only makes a person unhappy. And all that aside, most mammals are not biologically programmed for monogamy and I doubt human beings are either.” Because if they were, why would anyone leave someone they claimed to love?

#Mahalo!Crow <3333 #A Star to Sail Her By|Doctor William Manderly #No Man's Land|Billy and Beth #Urca Aquarium and Research Facility #Aloha'aina|Hawai'i

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all-things-are-nothing-to-me · 4 years

Text

An Obituary for Identity Politics

I began writing this text about a couple months before the uprising in response to George Floyd’s death. The uprising, which now has become a global event, has motivated me to share my perspective in this text. My experiences in Minneapolis from the 26th through the 31st of May have furthered my contempt for identity politics and so I have included additional critiques of it based on those experiences.

Rewind back to a time and place where people used pagers and pay phones. When front porches and public parks were the hang-out spots. A time when conflicts were resolved face-to-face and shit-talking came with real life consequences. These were the days before ‘call-out culture’, ‘troll-baiting’, and other internet-dominated social activities. Some say the internet and technological expansion have advanced the fight against oppression. My opinion? The internet is where all potential for social revolt goes to die. In addition to pointless petitions and endless memes, recognition as a rebel can be gained through pity parties and academic loyalty rather than hands-on direct action. While providing an excellent breeding ground for keyboard warriors and pretentious academics, the internet also allows for the stunted development of social skills necessary in navigating face-to-face communication. Conflict resolution takes the form of indefinite internet drama and at most an awkward in-real-life re-construction of judge, jury, and executioner. Face-to-face interaction is almost unnecessary in the techno-society where phones have become a personalized commodity seemingly fused to one’s hand. From a screen with adjustable dimming, a full spectrum of emotional expression can now be digitally represented from a cache of emoticons.

The internet is also a place where the lynch-mob mentality of “call-out culture” encourages people to view one another as one-dimensional beings – only defined by mistakes and imperfections. In the name of ‘social justice’ and ‘outing abusers’, a new statism emerges, utilizing fear and guilt to coerce allyship conformity. And similar to being charged by the State, once condemned on the internet, an individual may never escape that reputation. Instead, any or all personal growth and development remains trivial to the static nature of their past mistakes. Despite personal improvement, a convicted individual is sentenced to forever remain captive by the essence of their online portrayal.

In my experience as a ‘marginalized voice’ I’ve seen identity politics used by activists as a tool of social control aimed at anyone who fits the identity criteria of ‘oppressor’. The traditional power-struggle for equality has turned into an olympic sport for social leverage, inverting the same social hierarchy that should have been destroyed in the first place. Many identity politicians I’ve come across are more interested in exploiting “white guilt” for personal (and even capital) gain than physically confronting any organizational model of white supremacy. I’ve witnessed victimhood used to conceal blatant lies and bullying, motivated by personal revenge. All too often I have seen how identity politics creates a culture where personal experiences are trivialized to the point of passive silence. But this is all old news. Any experienced, self-identifying anarchist has seen or probably experienced some form of being ‘called-out’ or ‘cancelled’. So why do I bring it up? Because I still see this shit happening and I still see so many people lacking the courage to openly confront it.

I don’t expect this text to bring identity politics to a grinding halt. I am merely expressing my hostility for it and its authoritarian, anti-individualist nature. I still see self-proclaimed anarchists fussin’ over ‘white’ dreads (as well as seeing people cut their dreads under social pressure). I still see people justify voting like they did for Obama (this time it’s for Bernie). And I still see ‘allies’ mumbling frustration under their breath, too scared to confront the authoritarianism they see right in front of ‘em.

How many ‘white’ anarchists were called racist (or privileged) and shamed for refusing to vote this past 2020 election?

Imagine what anarchy would look like if people refused to obey the condescending demands of identity politicians. Would people feel more free to explore their lives beyond the narrow limitations of prescribed identity? Would they fearlessly reclaim their power to formulate their own opinions? Is there a joy to be experienced in the hysterical mockery of academic elitism?

Would this text be less valid if it wasn’t written by a queer person of color? What if I was a ‘white’, ‘cis’ ‘male’? Why would it matter?

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t. Because after all, this isn’t just about identity. This is about anti-authoritarian anarchy. If there is one thing I have seen the most in the past few years, it’s how identity politics moves like a plague, consuming every social space — ironically including anarchist circles. For me, anarchy is about destroying socially assigned identity and all the limitations it imposes upon the imagination. Anarchy is an individualist experience that finds itself held captive by the prison of assigned identity. Rather than destroying that prison along with the society that constructs it, anarchism today has become a cemetery of dead potential, internalized victimhood, and an ideological competition for who is ‘most oppressed’.

Rather than taking aim at identity itself and the apparatus maintaining this paradigm, energy is spent tearing one another down, ignoring the complexity of individual uniqueness, and playing the State’s role of defining each other based on membership to identity categories. Embracing a particular identity only reaffirms that identity’s existence as a ‘universal ‘truth’ – and therefore, by the colonial intentions of assigned identity, the servitude and enslavement of some to others as a universal truth as well.

I refuse to participate in upholding enslavement as a condition of my existence, and therefore these ‘truths’ are nothing more than political works of fiction. They are the products of a well-perfected, socially engineered god-complex that enters the mind like parasitic cordyceps, demanding unquestionable obedience. The atom of mental manipulation is a mind institutionalized by the incarceration of industrial society. Identity politics are the antiquated chains of colonization, polished by those who assign personal value to them. These ‘truths’ are the social constructs of control, keeping the life of rebellion shackled in a cold well of reform. And while many have become comfortable there, I have broken out to explore the infinite unknown terrain of hedonism and anti-political anarchy. ‘Black’, ‘Brown’, or ‘White’ power is the antithesis of freedom; it is the ideological charity work of a civilized, humanist form of rebellion. Identity politics is the sterilization of individuality, rendering it both obedient to the collectivist authority of identity and gullible to the nationalist myth of supremacy.

Ultimately, the ‘human’ is an animal domesticated with labels socially constructed to correspond to a hierarchy of economic status. And though this hierarchy has changed over the years, it is constantly held in place by a relationship of those who make demands and those who obey. No matter how the categories are arranged, the hierarchy represents authoritarianism; the group dominating the individual. What defines a ‘human’ is the degree of obedience and commitment to civilized roles and behaviors required by industrial society. The less cooperative a ‘human’ is, the more likely that ‘human’ will be compared to an animal. The animal is the undesireable being – even for the identity politicians who prefer to adopt the colonizers’ ideological anthropocentrism. Perhaps this explains why there is such little discussion on animal liberation in leftist-anarchist writing. The marginalized voice is more concerned with being portrayed as equal to the civilized colonizer than with the lost connection between their animality and the earth. At the core of leftist politics is the humanist aim for social equality within industrial progress — all while the earth continues to be cut up into nation-states and ravaged for anthropocentric exploitation and expansion.

It is my opinion that as long as one maintains a personal relationship with the ‘human’ identity, similar to ‘white’ or ‘male’ identities, the individual will only continue to reinforce the colonial paradigm of civilized vs savage. And as long as this reinforcement continues, the individual also remains vulnerable to imprisonment within other identity constructs that further suppress feral potential.

I wonder when or if anarchists in general will move beyond the group-mentality of leftism toward individualist insurgency — recognizing confrontation with identity as an act of personal emancipation. Will anarchists one day come to realize that anyone or anything above the individual represents an authority figure – whether it be “The Commune”, the “Movement”, or the cultural governance of identity? Maybe some, but I am sure not all.

The Victimhood Saint

After a 45 minute drive we finally arrive. It’s been a long day of retail theft and this is the last stop. It’s my turn and I plan to walk out with at least $500+ worth of merchandise for online resell. But I’m already gettin’ a bad feeling from this place. Unlike the other locations, this store is much smaller which to me means Loss Prevention will have a visual advantage watching the doors. Bigger places mean the enter and exit doors are spread further apart. In addition, the bigger the store, the more difficult it is to keep track of every shopper through the cameras. I decide to go for it anyways. Never know anything for sure until ya try.

I walk in, grab a cart and begin searching for the specific items I plan to take. I also scan the check out lanes and customer service desk. Two customer service employees busy chatting, check out lanes all blocked off except the one near the entrance and two near the exit. The entrance lane has a worker wiping down carts. One exit lane has a cashier, the lane next to it is totally empty. I take note of it as looking “too easy”, but I decide to refocus on where my items are located in the store. After loading my cart I start my journey to the exit. For anyone who shoplifts for a living, they know this is the exciting part. Every moment up to this point I’ve been just a regular shopper. But now, as I walk toward the exit, I begin to shed the costume of “shopper” and prepare for the criminal experience of “shoplifter”. As my heart starts to pound I feel my nerves initiate a well — developed calming response where I temporarily disassociate from the panic in order to keep my senses sharp and focused. I have to be ready for anything. And I still have to maintain my “regular shopper” face and body language. As I pass through the “too easy” lane everything looks good.

Customer service people are still chatting not paying attention, the one cashier is too busy ringing up someone to notice. I pull out my fake receipt and casually make my way through the first set of exit doors. If I was seen or caught, this is about the moment I would hear someone approach me from behind or feel someone grab my shoulder. Out the second set of doors, all is good. Time to start making my way toward the back of the parking lot – and then it happened...

Anyone who has ever shoplifted long enough knows these dreaded words: “Sir... Sir!”. I hear someone behind me yell out. I pretend to not hear it. Then I hear quick footsteps approach from behind. “Sir, I need to see your receipt” he says as he flashes me his Loss Prevention badge. Fuck. Where did this clean-cut lookin’ hipster see me? Must have been in the clothes area behind me... maybe that lane was a fucking trap? Doesn’t matter. Let go of the cart and walk away. I start to walk away and I hear “No no...sir we have to go back inside and fill out paperwork. Don’t worry you will not be arrested”. Yeah, fill out paperwork with all my information, have my picture taken for their records – fuck that. I continue walking away. Another LP runs out and is on the phone. This guy is on the phone with the police. I instantly realize the first guy was secretly stalling me till the police got there! I break out in full run. I hear them both running close behind me. I cross the street and bolt into a trailer park, zig zag between trailer homes and finally hide out in a steel shed. I force my paniced breathing to quiet deep breaths. I calm down and listen to them searching for me nearby.

Finally after not hearing them anymore I text my accomplices a rough idea of where I am. I come out of the shed, trying to tidy up a couple things that fell inside from when I stormed in there. The cops will be here any second. I see my accomplices car slowly drive by and wave em down. I jump in and lay down and we drive off.

I should have trusted my instinct. This was a bad run. But it could have been worse. Instead of being in jail tonight, I am comfortably here writing this text. But this is the reality of shoplifting – or any crime for that matter. No matter how many times you get away with it, it is important to expect to get caught one day. Be ready for it. And when it happens, study the panic, the emotions, the physical responses... know it all well. So the next time you engage in criminal activity, you have a better understanding of the worst case scenario. For me, this is elementary, and there is no place for victimhood or or an outcry of innocence.

While Covid-19 created the conditions for state repression in the form of “stay-at-home” orders, ironically my opportunity for illegalist fun has expanded! Many businesses are left unattended for weeks at a time, meaning property damage goes longer without being reported. In the midst of the panic, supermarket Loss Prevention and security personnel are focused on the number of items people purchase in each cart without realizing the cartloads of food quietly slipping out the other door.

Before shutting down, many stores like REI, L.L Bean and other places would deactivate their security towers. I am guessing this was due to the high volume of people passing through with purchased merch with hidden tags still attached. Probably to avoid the annoyance of the alarm going off every few seconds, the towers were turned off, leaving open a grand opportunity to simply walk out with security tagged items hassle-free.

The past few weeks got me revisiting old memories of when my understanding of anarchy was that of an activity that only lasted as long as a may day march, a demonstration, or night-time fun. I remember feeling like anarchy was the moment I wore black pants, shoes, gloves and a t-shirt around my face. After these activities it was back to the “real world”. Back to wage-slavery, back to the daily routine of paying rent and penny-pinching my food stamps for groceries. Sure, there was the occasional clandestine activity along with tabling zines at punk shows or radical events. But there was this divide that always created a separation, always treating anarchy like an extra-curricular activity. Sure, my life was committed to rebellion; the very concept of a zine distro before I named it “Warzone Distro” was conceived while wasting company time on the shitter. Despite wage-slaving, my mind was always fixated on understanding how to cut corners and work the least for the most amount of money. I was the worker who handed my extra hours over to others. Half-day at work due to light truck load? Hell yeah, I’m out!

Over time, anarchy as mere extra-curricular activity just wasn’t enough. And what I mean by that is I became less and less tolerable of bosses, wage-slaving, alarm clocks, paying rent, and penny-pinching. I remembered what it was like being a kid and not having to conform to such obligations. I remembered adventuring all day outside from early morning to late at night. Everyday was a new adventure, and everyday I was learning something new about myself. Then, as a responsible adult I was learning something new about myself. I hated adultism, adulting, and the performative role and identity of “adult”. But I wasn’t tryin’ to become a child again. Those days have come and gone. I began to wonder what an anarchist life that transcended the adult/child binary could look like.

Fast forward years later here I am, jobless but no longer penny-pinching, and older but more youthful than I have ever been. Some say I am the worst of all worlds; hedonistic, violent, and childish. Of course, what these words mean and how they are applied to me is subjective to interpretation, but one thing is for certain; I feel far more free than I have ever felt and experienced. And I have a love affair with crime. It is an intimate experience — committing crime with a furious contempt for society and the law. Causing disruption and getting away with it compliments my desires for anarchy moment by moment. Nowadays I adventure all day outside from early morning to late at night. And with every criminal activity I am learning more and more about myself. In addition to accepting the fact that my days of joy-riding the fuck out of life will either end in prison or sudden death, I am learning to appreciate the present more than the past or future.

One thing about crime that I have come to realize is a uniqueness that comes with breaking the law, a sense of individual ability, inability, strengths and weaknesses. All are discovered within the experience of breaking the law. And it is this experience that I intend to expand in order to discover more about myself, becoming ungovernable in an anti-social sense.

I reflect back on my past self imprisoned by the cult of identity-politics. I remember how one reason to glorify victimhood was to gain social attention and portray the (marginalized) identities assigned to me in a positive light. “Look at me! A responsible queer person of color holding down a job as a law-abiding citizen!”. But why? So I could prove how similar I was to all those ‘white’ hard-working class heroes that America needs to uphold its colonial establishment? Another wage-slave to passively, willfully accept the conditions of my enslavement? To become another christian of color pretending there is an imaginary kingdom above for all us hoodlums that just never got a fair chance in life? Fuck all that.

The reasons for white supremacists, homophobes, patriarchs, and patriots to fear people like me is beyond identity politics; I am a sworn enemy of their control and order. The societal castle they seek to build and maintain will always be the target of my sabotage!

I think most people can see and understand that embracing socially assigned identities is not necessary for understanding how society utilizes them as tools for social control. I think it is equally as easy to see how identity as a tool of revolution is limited and in fact has led to internal conflict within many revolutionary projects. But what blows my mind is the fact that for so many, these identities were not immediately rejected as a primal, personal form of rebellion. But to be fair I think it is safe to say that these identities maintained the power they do because they are so frequently used by leftist organizations for moral persuasion. Through victimhood and innocence, identity politics is used as an appeal-to-all method of creating group-think that ultimately encourages an individual to surrender independent thinking to a god-complex of morality and collectivism. I think this also plays a pretty big role in statism and the rejection of illegalist revolt.

I reject the statist, civilized binary of guilt and innocence, and therefore also reject the internalization of victimhood. I have no use for “call-out culture” or an internet lynch-mob against my enemies. On the internet, attempts to gain public support against one enemy only informs and empowers another enemy (the state) to confiscate my responsibility. And guilt and innocence is a legalistic binary that only serves to judge and divide based on moral determination. I despise the State, all its social manifestations, and it’s enforcement of repression against chaos. Therefore I am not a victim; I am a self-declared enemy in a war against it. I don’t expect pity, a pardon or charity from it, nor from its defenders.

It was the day Chicago issued its Stay-At-Home order. My partner-in-crime and I were in my home town visiting my mom. While driving home from getting my mom some groceries I notice someone sitting on a park bench alone. “Big Momma” is her name. I was surprised to see her outside in the cold and not indoors at one of the local shelters. Come to find out the shelters had closed their doors probably related to Covid-19. I started to wonder how many others were outside in the cold...

My partner and I head over to a park that I used to do Food Not Bombs at and to my surprise there are about 20 people set up camp outside a building’s air vent blowing out warm air. We walk over and ask how everyone is doing. Some people, after recognizing me from activist projects years ago, excitedly run over to greet me. They are all the unlucky ones locked out of the shelters at least for that weekend. My partner and I get back in the car and come up with a plan.

A half hour later we are at another grocery store. Unlike other times, getting out of this one with free food is going to be a little difficult. The set-up has changed due to heightened security at the door due to Covid-19 and the fear of looting. But it is still possible to get out with a full cart. We load the bottom of the cart with bottled water, multiple loaves of bread, peanut butter, jelly, over 20 bags of mixed dried fruit, fresh apples and bananas. Were ready. We make our way to the door with me leading. My role is to peer around the corner at two self-check out clerks to make sure they aren’t looking. If they are, I will pull out my phone like I am making a phone call. If not, I keep walking forward. My partner and the cart close behind, the coast is clear. First set of doors... second set of doors... all good. Finally get to the car and unload into the trunk. Success! Next stop is another grocery store, but we won’t be getting food at this one: we’re raiding the men’s and women’s bathrooms for huge rolls of toilet paper. The dispensers can be a little loud opening sometimes, but relatively easy to do with any kind of house key. Two backpacks filled with about three huge rolls each, we are all set.

Back at my moms we clean our hands thoroughly before making bags and bags of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Once we finish with that were off back to the homeless encampment. Every person gets two sandwiches, two apples, two bananas, some dried fruit and a bottle of water. In addition we wrap the toilet paper rolls in the grocery bags to keep dry and pass them out. We stick around for a bit and exchange laughs and talk shit on the cops. It was good to make new friends and catch up with old friends. It was good to see they were all maintaining and in high spirits despite the circumstances of the weather and the shelter closures. We left and decided to check other parks for people. Found a few lone wolves who happily took what we had left of the water and sandwiches. We arrive back at my mom’s house and settle in for the night. I open the fridge and giggle while scanning over all the stolen vegan food contemplating what to have for dinner.

The Allyship Coward

In my opinion, the concept of “Allyship” started with good intentions, but like other aspects of identity politics became sour and ready for immediate disposal. Here is how I feel about “Allyship”: If you need a politicized buzzword and concept to motivate you to build bonds with people across gendered or racial categories, your “solidarity” is disingenuous. If your style of communicating is loaded with talking points pre-approved by some Woke Ally 101 workshop, you have become a free-range puppet. Genuine mutual aid or solidarity doesn’t require trendy twitter phrases to motivate bond building. In other words, don’t work with me only because that’s what you read is the “right” thing to do, or because your progressive college professor told you to. Don’t kiss my ass and follow me because I am a victimized, ‘marginalized’ or ‘poc voice’. Or because your friends or comrades will guilt you. Don’t let something as fake as socially constructed categories define our relationship. Work with me only if you personally enjoy our interaction, my personality and most importantly you want to out of individual desire. I don’t believe in coercive mutual aid: it makes a fool out of two people at once.

There are also those who assume they know how other people think based on racial and gendered assumptions. These are the identity politicians who act as both police and representatives of others, coercing allyship through guilt and shaming campaigns. Using their identity, they declare themselves beyond reproach while utilizing a passive-aggressive method of communication for intimidation. But in my opinion, nobody is obligated to support or listen to them, or any one, especially based on something as flat as identity. I am always weary of those who talk as if they represent the interests of people they have never met. It is foolish to think that just because people are socially assigned similar identities that every individual subscribes to the stereotypes of those identities.

Identity politics has successfully offered an understanding of how civilized society works, but as a solution to tearing it all down only leads to boundary policing identities, nationalism, internalized victimhood, and more stereotypes for people to find themselves fighting against.

Wanna know someone’s experience? Interact with them directly. Don’t make assumptions based on social constructions. Wanna show solidarity with people? Treat them as individuals with unique experiences and histories, not as mere drone members of homogenized groupings. And to those who still obey without questioning, another word for white ally is still coward!

The Woke Leadership

Personally, I don’t like to use the word “educate” to describe the communication of ideas between two individuals. “Educate” implies the instillation of universal “truths” rather than the horizontal exchange of personal perspectives. The context of which I see this word “Educate” used the most reinforces a social hierarchy between those who are “woke” and those who are not. Do people actually learn anything when the communication of ideas is asserted in a top-down manner? Maybe. But I prefer not to entertain that hierarchy.

Individual people are more than just ‘white’, ‘brown’ or ‘black’, ‘male’ or ‘female’, or whatever social construction assigned to them at birth. Therefore, communicating with identity-based assumptions will almost always come off as condescending. I see shit like “educate your friends”, or “get educated”, as if to direct toward a Church of Social Justice in order to be “awakened”. And apparently the capitalist mentality of further monetizing information is acceptable without question. Some think the ‘labor’ of answering questions merits a wage, citing something as voluminous as a Google search if one is unable to pay. Ironically, many questions come in good-faith, and are from well-intending activists who endure being talked down to in the first place. In my opinion, this elitist way of responding to well-intending people discourages their empowerment by trivializing their personal histories and guilting them into accepting others as paramount. There is a collectivism to this method of “educating” which creates the foundation of another social system of coercion. I have no interest in contributing to the materializing of that. I can offer a critical view or counter a point without socially stratifying the exchange.

I consider each and every individual mind a rushing, wild waterway of ideas that spill out when the dam of social subordination breaks down. Society collectively discourages any wildness, domesticating the individual and ultimately creating a caged animal within the mind. Beneath all the social conditioning there is a unique individual that discovers itself in chaotic contradiction with society.

Uniformity is the enemy of free expression. There is no “education”, only popular opinion enforced by those who intend to think for others. I think ideas and perspectives can be exchanged in a way that doesn’t resemble an authoritarian model of top-down communication. I’m not an educator and I seek to educate no one. Rather, as they grow and develop, I share my personal experiences and ideas with the world with the understanding that others will differ and have unique experiences of their own.

For example one thing that I have come to realize is that the illegalist life isn’t for everyone. I have seen some people do it for a while and ultimately break under the weight of the very real stress of criminal activity. So when I write these words about criminality – and my contempt for identity politics – I speak only for myself. When I began writing “Descending into Madness”, it was the same night I had walked out of a Seattle REI with two packs worth over $300 each. The security tower alarms never went off as I walked right out with two rope-style security tags attached. Prior to walking out I joked with myself that my criminal affairs indicated that I was descending into madness because attempting this was fucking crazy. And then I was successful. And I realized on the car ride home that if it wasn’t for entertaining such courageous insanity I might not have never known that some of these stores have non-operational security towers.

In my opinion, the “Woke Leadership” of leftism leads anarchism over a cliff into a downward accelerating disintegration. Paralyzed by the fear and shame enforced by a new order, some anarchists will never make it to self-emancipation, or independent thinking as a rejection of group-think authority. It is by a narrow, liberal definition of anti-oppression that many individuals define themselves as anarchists – a type of definition that limits anti-oppression to the moralist, humanist confines of civilized society. It is not a coincidence that most anti-oppression praxis requires a statist apparatus to enforce laws that accommodate equal rights. And while there’s nothing wrong with people having equal rights under capitalism, that victory celebrates the power of statist reform rather than anti-authoritarian attack. And in front of this statist power are the “community leaders” or those who have no interest in critiquing authority. Instead, they have built their socio-political careers on petty reforms in the name of “the community” and scold radicals – calling them “outside agitators”. And following behind these leaders are ‘white’ anarchist allies, confused and frustrated, trying to decide between being called a racist for setting shit on fire or a good ally for kissing a ‘black’ preacher’s ass.

“What you or I may or may not consider ‘tactical’ isn’t really relevant. This is less a war in the traditional sense and more a storm -uncontrollable and chaotic. This is one of the problems with the left’s characterization of ‘the movement’ as something uniform, monolithic, and ideologically consistent. It isn’t. It won’t be. ‘The movement’ consists of a million individuals with their own individual views and opinions and actions, and it does no one any good to deride anyone who isn’t doing things exactly the way you see fit.” Baba Yaga

Another Word For “Black Leadership” is Authoritarianism

After marching, we arrive at the 3rd Precinct at East Lake St and Minnehaha Ave. BLM organizers begin howling into the megaphone about demands, with a few prayers and droning chants mixed in. I notice someone slowly creeping up behind me who starts bangin’ his fist on the window. Concerned it will break, three bystanders begin quietly shaming him “this ain’t the place for that, keep it peaceful!”. The person responds back quietly but with angry tension in his voice “that’s the fuckin’ problem, y’all muthafuckas never wanna do shit except march and chant...”. Discouraged, he starts to walk away. “I’m with you on that shit fo real tho” I tell him. “That’s what’s up – fuck all this other shit” he responds while walking away. A minute or so later, I lose my patience for listening to BLM talk about being peaceful and decide to go look for that same individual again. I round the corner to the back of the police station and notice a commotion. A group of about 5–7 ‘black’ folks are blocking the back glass doors of the police station, arguing with a group of about 20 ‘black’ and ‘brown’ angry youth – including the one from earlier. Unable to contain my own frustration I get caught up arguing with the police-defenders as well. Finally, in the middle of the shouting a couple of ‘black’ and ‘brown’ youth begin spray painting “fuck 12” near the commotion. Cheers behind me erupt from a crowd that has now tripled in size. A brawl breaks out near the doors, and then a single rock smashes through the precinct window and is immediately followed by a hail storm of rocks, street cones, water bottles, and anything else within reach. The group of 5–7 ‘black’ pacifists cry out in desperation to stop the destruction, going as far as attempting to physically detain people, but ultimately are overwhelmed. They try to collect the rocks after being thrown and find themselves in multiple physical confrontations while doing so. People from the front of the building run over and join in on the vandalism. Eventually after every window is smashed the crowd moves toward the police parking lot and begin damaging police cars. I finally pause to catch a breath when I hear a stun grenade go off. The police run out from another door and begin shooting rubber bullets and tear gas. The crowd disperses but with hysterical laughs of joy and accomplishment. The 3rd Precinct is in ruins — and little did I know this was all just the beginning.

The very next day a bigger crowd of mostly ‘black’ and ‘brown’ youth showed up and continued to wage war on the 3rd Precinct. By night, a three mile radius was liberated from police control by the people on those streets. The 3rd Precinct was breached and taken over. Police abandoned the area all together. Their building was looted and cop cars driven into the street and set on fire. A Target across the parking lot was broken into and looted along with other stores nearby. People celebrated the victory by shooting off their guns in the air. Strangers sang and danced around burned out cop cars, exchanged high-fives in passing, and shared looted food. People casually socialized in front of burning buildings while others threw rocks through the remains of store front windows for target practice.

While it might have seemed like a perfect utopia, it wasn’t divorced from reality. Fights broke out between small factions of people and long-awaited personal conflicts were solved in the now cop-free streets. Business owners shot and killed looters and low-income housing units burned to the ground. But this is the difference between the textbook, sugar-coated ideologies of politics and raw, unmediated rage. The revolt didn’t happen due to any teachings of Mao or religious messages from a god. The fires, looting, and attacks against police didn’t need Marxism, a transcript of The Coming Insurrection, or an academic course on the history of anarchism. All that was needed was the chaotic expression of rage against representations of authority.

As expected, many people on the internet – including many self-proclaimed anarchists — passed judgement on the situation – most often coming from an ideological position that placed value in uniformity and a narrowed range of “acceptable” forms of revolt. In my experience, uprisings like this flourish best when least controlled or organized. The more that expressions of anger are controlled and organized the less anarchistic they become — essentially becoming pacified to accommodate a particular political vision. For me that is undesirable and also unrealistic. Destruction is destruction, violence will be violence, and to expect an uprising to be anything less is naive at best. While some can sit on the sidelines and moralize specific tactics or forms of emotional expression, they disregard the reality that full-fledged warfare has no inherent morality. Businesses that were boarded up and declared “black owned” weren’t spared by any moral consideration; they too were broken into, looted, and subsequently burned to the ground.

Also, in my opinion, the more uncontrollable and unmanageable an uprising remains, the less likely the police will have the ability to adapt to its formation and dominate it. The police had the least control over hundreds of individuals rebelling in such a chaotic manner as to overwhelm them and send them fleeing.

Over the next few days, attacks against the 5th Precinct happened while liberals, pacifists, and identity politicians quietly crawled back to avenge their loss and inability to control the first riot. The internet became their ground zero for one of the worst campaigns of lies and fear mongering I have personally ever seen.

As the victories of burning cop cars and police stations circulated online from all over the states, liberals rushed to the scenes in a desperate authoritarian attempt to assert their ideological morality and political program. They insist on a narrative that labels anyone who engages in sabotage as a “white supremacist” or “undercover cop” “infiltrating” the uprising.

Many of these liberals are the same ‘black’ people who failed to stop ‘black’ and ‘brown’ rebels from looting and destroying property. They failed to convince all ‘white’ people to evacuate the riots (because even some ‘white’ people knew not all ‘black’ or ‘brown’ people have a problem with them being there – recognizing their value as accomplices). And in an effort to preserve capitalist, reformist values, liberals of all races sought to halt the looting and vandalism by bombarding social media with blatantly false information. This false information is riddled with catch phrases like “outside agitators” and “white supremacists” in order to emotionally motivate readers to chose a side within a false dichotomy. And those who are not physically on the streets or there with rebels battling police are the target audience of these narrowed, inaccurate representations of reality.

Different ideological motives create different interpretations of events. And since liberals and pacifists tend to dominate social media more than those who are too busy out in the streets, they have an advantage. And since liberals morally frame all people of color as obedient, victimist heroes, most people have difficulty admitting that people of color are capable of destroying property and participating in violent forms of protest. This also plays into the compulsion to blame ‘white’ people for forms of rebellion considered morally undesirable. Riots/uprisings are not all utopian and pretty. They are the dangerous elements of liberation that occur when all other options have failed. Whether people are afraid of violence or not won’t change the fact that police kill, and will continue to kill as long as the concept of law enforcement exists. In my opinion there is no “bettering” the police, and there is no “justice” when someone is already being buried six feet deep.

And the police are not all ‘white’. ‘Black’ cops kill ‘black’ people too.

The worst part about the online interpretation of events is that the people spreading this misinformation fail to communicate to the online-world the joy, smiles, singing and dancing of racially diverse rebels as they celebrated the destruction of the 3rd Precinct.

I mean shit, imagine being a person of color, harassed by police all your life, and then a day and night comes when you actually get to see a police station burning, and police completely abandoning the area. All this is erased from history when liberals credit it all to a group of people — white supremacists — who didn’t exist in those battles in the first place.

To this day as I write this, there are still people spreading conspiracy theories on the internet like the famous “brick bait” video of cops unloading bricks (behind their own building – not in an alley as originally propagated). While I can’t say for absolute certainty that there were no white supremacists at the events at all (I mean I saw some driving past in pickup trucks yellin’ white power shit, and the ‘brown’ dude who rolled up in a truck rockin’ pro-police slogans and a confederate flag) I sure as hell didn’t see any in the battles. I have seen pictures of ‘black’ people locking arms to protect riot police, white allies turning other ‘white’ people over to the police in the name of ‘black’ support, and ultimately police regaining control and using these pacifying efforts to brutalize peaceful protesters.

Feral Delinquency

It is my opinion that the last months expose weaknesses of civilization in very obvious ways. Governmental control had increased as a panic response to social tension and spontaneous ruptures of illegal activity. Covid-19 broke the order of daily productivity and civilized slavery, leaving people more time to contemplate their lives and the value of their free time outside of working. The uprisings in response to the murder of George Floyd demonstrated the weaknesses of the police power and control – even at their own home base. At this point I have no earthly idea what will come next.

I admit to finding it fascinating to see non-human animals and the earth flourish in the midst of our industrial despair. To see clearer skies, various animals walking the streets, flooding that loosens the foundation of this concrete jungle. I can’t help but feel both the pandemic and these continued ruptures against authority are better than a return to normality; a normality where death from industrial civilization and the State is as routine as a slaughterhouse in full operation.

I wonder what kinda conversations people are having with each other or with themselves during this blooming destabilization of domesticated order. Will more and more people seize this opportunity to express anger and frustration through random acts of violence and sabotage against one another? Against law enforcement? Against the institutions that have become weaker due to financial loss and now stand more vulnerable than ever? I can only hope the uprisings continue in some capacity – above or below ground which is personally more favorable for me at this point.

Will people beg for the return of the old daily misery of monotony, or will they explore the depths of permanent uncertainty? Return to work or rewild? I guess only time will tell.

But here, I can only speak for myself. My anarchy is my own, as are my thoughts and words in this text. I don’t write to impress any club of internet anarchists who flex intellectual texts for self-congratulatory praise. I make my diary public in an antagonistic effort to mock the victimist, anti-individualist narrative of leftism which currently dominates contemporary anarchism.

I don’t wish for a return to normality and the daily misery of industrial production. I have no desire to celebrate ridiculous “victories” such as police accountability, firings, or prison terms – which will only be followed by the rebuilding of their ruined precincts or perhaps an equally authoritarian “community-based” replacement. I desire nothing less than the total abolition of all governance and policing. And perhaps those who hold some form of elitist power will find me undesirable and will orchestrate a smear campaign against me, banning my writing and “cancel” me from their Movement. But little would they know that the days and nights, between wide fields and the stars, and between the tree tops and the ground – is the domain of my adventure! And with it is a joy that follows anarchy as a vibrant life experience rather than a measure of social capital online, or a theory frozen in an academic journal.

The internet has created a culture of desperation for social continuity and digital validation. It is the breeding ground for “new” concepts of anarchism that are nothing more than communist corpses with hipster aesthetic. Anti-civ anarchy, impregnated by leftism now displays the extent of its power with endless twitter debates on “eco-fascism”. Twitter — a place where reclaiming one’s life and body is shamed by the disciples of privilege politics – is a graveyard of voices glorifying their own death-by-internet.

My animalism looks nothing like adopting the imagery and behaviors of existing animals. Instead it is the silhouette of an illegalist, feral menace dancing around the burning prison of domestication. My abandonment of victionhood is a foreclosure on both the pity politics of morality-based organizing and the sainthood of innocence. My anarchy is an obituary for identity politics. It is a personal insurgency without a future, a dream without the anaesthesia of hope, a declaration of joy with the lifespan of an exploding bomb.

This text is dedicated to all those rebels whose only negotiation with authority is fire and destruction...I am forever inspired by your courageous wrath across racial and gendered lines... To the youth who made history on May 26th, to the rebels who perished, and to those currently held captive for their part in this war against the state. RIP George Floyd

#george floyd #minneapolis #anarcho-nihilism #anti civ #anti identity politics #identity politics #decolonialization #identity #illegalism #individualism #individualist anarchism #Nihilism #post leftism #post left anarchy #rioting #flower bomb

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theparanormalperiodical · 5 years

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The 13 Scariest Paranormal Investigation TV Show Episodes You Need To Watch - And The Links To Watch Them For Free!

As a paranormal blogger, I’m used to fangirling with other occult-obsessives about anything that’s spooky.

It could be a scary movie. It could be a ghost they’ve seen first hand. It could even be an urban legend that frightened them to their very core! Either way, they always have a turning point in their life that pushed them towards the paranormal.

My epiphany was different.

Sure, I’ve always had this constant connection with otherworldly spirits - but it was developed by one thing: paranormal documentary TV shows.

Most Haunted, Ghost Adventures, Celebrity Ghost Stories…

Each and every one made me want to be there with them!

I wanted to wander ‘round castles for a living. I wanted to read ghost stories everyday and explore the history behind them. I wanted to connect the dots and explore a new, hidden world.

It’s for that reason that I’ve decided to share my love for these shows with you, dear reader.

I’ve brought together the best episodes from Most Haunted, Ghost Adventures, Paranormal Lockdown, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Ghost Hunters and Paranormal Witness, explained the ghost stories that are the centre of the episodes, and have even provided links (and the terrifying timestamps) to the episodes.

All you’ve got to do is press play!

Oh, and leave a comment on which one traumatised you the most…

Now, let’s get spooky.

#1 - The Dorothy Puente Murder House - Ghost Adventures (S12, E3)

Ghosts give me the heebeejeebies. Demons make me want to hide under my quilt and cry to a Sigrid song. But it’s stories of entrapment that really fuck me up.

This is one of those stories.

Dorothy Puente was a landlady who ran a boarding house in California for elderly and mentally disabled residents. Don’t be fooled by her charitable exterior, though - what was happening inside the boarding house was a very different story.

Puente was a serial killer who committed 9 murders - a number which is still disputed to this day - throughout the 1980s, and then cashed their social security checks.

Whilst there are a number of details to this case, I thought I’d leave that to be discovered during the episode.

Nevertheless, I thought I’d wet your appetite with some seriously traumatising tales:

In 1985, she hired someone to do wood panelling in her apartment. Not only did she give him an old pickup truck that I assume contained traces of evidence of her crimes, she asked him to build a 6-by-3-by-2 foot box. In non-maths terms, that’s the dimensions of a coffin.

Claiming it was full of books and other small items for disposal, she journeyed with him to a local dump to dispose of these, uh, books, and stopped him before they reached the local area to dump the waste.

She directed him to instead drop it into a river cause that’s not suspicious at all.

But suspicions were roused when she began repeatedly hiring a local homeless man to do certain tasks like digging the basement and removing soil from it, or putting concrete in the garage. It was when he disappeared that the pieces began to connect together.

Given the dark details behind the case, when Zak Bagans and his squad rocked up, they were on the receiving end some of the most striking paranormal activity they had ever witnessed:

Featuring EVPs crammed full of aggressive growls and demands for them to “Get out!”, or Ovilus Voices spewing words eerily similar to the murders and how the bodies were disposed of, this investigation stays true to what happened there.

But outside of the equipment used, the physical effects on the investigators was incredible!

One medium felt a choking sensation believed to channel the feelings of victims being force fed sleeping pills and then left to die in the Death Room. And the other? She drew a picture uncomfortably similar to a spirit seen by a tenant of the house - the spirit of Dorothy Puente.

The other physical contact experienced includes pain felt in Zak’s lower back, as well as Zak entering this trance like state from which he fell off the bed!

Here’s the episode:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x55gpad

Want to seem some spooks, like, right now?

09.10 - an EVP with Peggy, the resident who sees Puente’s spirit frequently.

13.10 - a medium begins to sense spirits and experiences some shocking effects.

17.30 - a medium produces pictures of the spirit she senses.

25.20 - EVPs in the backyard - where the bodies were buried - answer some of the questions that still go unanswered.

30.20 - Zak Bagans begins to exhibit extremely peculiar behaviour.

#2 - Idaho State Tuberculosis Hospital - Ghost Adventures (S18, E10)

Whispers, children and angry old men.

No, it’s not the title of Fall Out Boy’s latest album - it’s just a few of the current inhabitants of The Gooding Inn.

Once a TB hospital that was shut down in 1976, this building has witnessed its patients literally choke and drown in their own blood as their lungs fill up.

But what’s seriously scary about this episode is the effects on the most recent residents of the inn:

Not only was the housekeeper clearly upset about her encounter with an angry male ghost, she clearly feels the negative energy such spirits embody.

But it's when the current resident is interviewed that the reality of this location is realised. Two of her children had died whilst living in the former hospital, forging a strange link that is explored in the episode.

Yet before I spoil the whole show, here’s a taste of what’s to come:

A playful child spirit and a woman with a child make their own appearances, as well as the strange tale - and even stranger spirit - of Anton Beaver.

Ready to watch?

Here’s the episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdCxNtshvhg

Looking for a quick fear fix?

These are the timestamps of note:

05.25 - Zak Bagans starts the show with the housekeeper’s own tale of the hauntings she’s witnessed.

10.00 - One woman recounts the potential impact of the hauntings on her family.

12.15 - a paranormal investigator brings his own footage and experience of activity in a passage from which gurneys and wheelchairs would bring in the patients

16.00 - Zak Bagans researches those who died there - and creates a sudden shockwave of paranormal activity across the building.

21.50 - a weird non-human noise is heard when a dark shadow appears.

32.00 - pranks set by a spirit of a former child patient begin to haunt the team.

#3 - 30 East Drive - Most Haunted (S18, E1 Halloween Special)

Take a look around my blog - no, seriously, look at what I write about: old manors, haunted abbeys, demonic forests… They all seem to stand out. And I think that’s what makes this tale - and this episode - quite so scary.

Welcome to 30 East Drive, a council house nestled in Yorkshire, England.

It started in 1966. The Prichtard family had just moved into a new home when they started to notice rather peculiar occurrences:

A fine layer of dust fell on everything in the house, puddles would appear from nowhere, even if one was cleaned up, the tea dispenser would go off randomly, and items would levitate!

Given the evident paranormal resident, clergymen were called to exorcise the house.

They were not successful. Holy water would leak out of the walls, ghostly hands would appear and ‘conduct’ the hymns being said to remove him, faces were slapped and people were pushed. Despite the rather playful poltergeist at first, this spirit slowly became more aggressive:

The daughter, Diane, began to find scrapes and bruises appear on her body, and was even dragged up the stairs by her hair! It was eventually deduced that this could be the spirit of a Monk whose body was discarded down the well that the house now sits on. Why was he thrown down a well?

Because he - or perhaps his twin brother - raped and murdered a young girl.

And as he is often seen wearing black robes, the house was given labelled the Black Monk House. Fancy a watch? You’ll be spoiled for choice then - Paranormal Lockdown also had a stay in the house.

Here’s the Most Haunted Episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO3EeYBGNuo

“But, spookyllama, where are the timestamps?”

I couldn’t find any timestamps of note because the activity in this episode is constant!

Within the first 1 and a half minutes, a marble is thrown, echoing one of the most common hauntings in this house. Knives were also found sticking out of sofas, as was a crucifix jumping off the bed.

#4 - The Wentworth Woodhouse - Most Haunted (S17, E6)

Our next episode also features a ghostly monk, but this time we see activity beyond marbles being chucked at cameramen. Indeed, this episode is just as iconic as the former - this is due to the controversy surrounding the evidence captured in this video.

One of the most famous hauntings of the Wentworth Woodhouse is the first earl of the house walking down the main stairs of the house. Only he’s headless. And they claimed to capture this footage:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/most-haunted-team-finally-catch-12417869

This footage only taps into one component of the paranormal activity seen in this house, however.

This house has seen centuries worth of aristocratic family feuds, deaths and drama which still roam its halls. Whether its footsteps, ghostly laughter or opera singing, it seems all past residents never actually left.

Yet aside from the earl taking a nightly stroll, the scariest spirit has to be a ghost that stands still during his hauntings, leading many people to think he’s a statue.

Specifically, the most haunted locations - aside from the library - are the George VI quarters. With shadows tracing the walls and dark figures standing in the doorways, the Most Haunted team were certainly not alone.

You can see the episode here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdTnJC4cO54

Want a speedy scare?

28.00 - a door rattles and sounds as if its being opened, only its not - it’s locked and there’s no handle.

30.00 - The team hears a whistle, so they whistle back. What happens next is mind-blowing…

50.00 - The crew hears a couple of footsteps follow them around a part of the house.

#5 - The Washoe Club - Ghost Adventures (S16, E7)

The Ghost Adventures team might have investigated this wild-west location 3 times, but it gets no less spooky as time goes on. The oldest saloon there, The Millionaires’ Club, is the centre of the activity as a former exclusive saloon for rich businessmen.

Upon Zak Bagans and his team’s final return, they are reduced to tears by the activity witnessed.

This activity includes the spirit of a prostitute who committed suicide in room 77, a full-bodied apparition in the ballroom, a brick thrown in the basement and a women, Lena, haunting the staircase.

The episodes in particular have also captured EVPs saying their names: “Zak, look out”, and "Nick, Zak, coming..., they're scaring me".

Ready for a trip to the Wild West?

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xqhyh6

#6 - Hinsdale House - Paranormal Lockdown (S1, E5)

If you thought these buildings were scary, wait ‘til you hear about the Hinsdale House. Question is, what separates it from the other contenders?

This is a demonic haunting.

Considered this generation’s Amityville, the whole property exhibits signs of activity an exorcism couldn't rid it of: mysterious phone calls, chanting from nearby woods, animal hybrids and full bodied apparitions are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this house.

Lucky for us, the Paranormal Lockdown team spent 72 hours here, investigating the hauntings both during the day and night.

Within the first 7 minutes of filming, an abundance of flies fills the house, not unlike horror films that trace the stories behind houses just like this. The following emotional impact on Nick further forges a link to the supernatural.

Featuring choking, consistent EVP’s saying Nick’s name and even Lorraine Warren on the blower telling them to get out of the house, negative energy is an understatement for this house.

You can watch it here:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6tujvf

Head to 25.00 if you want to see their investigation of the forest - including the Gregorian chanting that is claimed to still echo on this former Native American burial ground.

28.00 - when Katrina asks spirits to go to Nick and show their presence when he’s in a different room, the spirits follow orders.

Unfortunately, the spooks don’t end when the credits roll:

Nick claims spirits from this house followed him home and told him to go to a little house tucked away in England.

And that house was 30 East Drive.

#7 - 30 East Drive - Paranormal Lockdown (S2, Halloween Special)

So, we know Most Haunted’s verdict of the Black Monk House - what about Nick and Katrina’s?

Having spent 100 hours there - one of the longest amounts of time they’ve been in lockdown for - they witness apparitions, marbles flying across the house, a scar appears on Katrina’s stomach, and even a murder attempt by the spirit.

That’s right - a Grandfather clock is pushed over, nearly killing Nick!

You can watch that happen here:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6azzx0

#8 - The St. Augustine Lighthouse - Ghost Adventures (S2, E19)

Haunted locations aren’t just famed for paranormal fanatics like me rocking up.

It’s the history which matters.

And this haunted lighthouse is celebrated for its history with its own museum denoting the things it was witnessed as a part of America’s Oldest Port. And with multiple people living and dying on the property, the subsequent variety of activity is what sets this lighthouse apart from, well, non-haunted lighthouses!

But it's that history repeating itself that makes this one of the scariest episodes included on this list: a woman in white roams both the nearby forest and the top levels of the lighthouse, a man walking in uniform wanders round the basement, and spirits make use of the famous staircase that fills this building.

Have I piqued your interest? You can satisfy your supernatural needs here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHsNtvT8uHU

Check out the walk through of the lighthouse and description of the main activity at 05.30.

19.45 - you can hear the chattering of multiple spirits on the staircase - and you might even see someone - or something - walking down it, too.

24.00 - this is the most incredible evidence they’ve ever captured - trust me.

#9 - The Stanley Hotel - Ghost Hunters (S2, E22)

Famous for inspiring the Stephen King classic, The Shining, this hotel is infamous for its real life haunted history. First opened in 1909, the 420 rooms - including an underground cave system - hold many ghosts who still make regular appearances.

Room 217 for example, once belonged to a housekeeper. Often visitors to this room notice their luggage is unpacked, items moving, or the lights flickering. Oh, and she’s not a fan of couples sleeping together in the same room, either!

After that, why not visit the Concert Hall? Haunted by a spirit who was once believed to be an usher, you may hear a voice telling you to leave, a nudge, or even see flashes of light of his torch.

You might even hear the giggle of a child echoing down from the attic, a former nursery.

Question is, why is it quite so haunted? There’s 2 claims behind this: the crystals in the cave system below the hotel channel the energy, and the staircase is a vortex for ghosts, allowing them to come and go as they please.

Ready to see what happened?

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6ekji3

#10 - The Rain Man - Paranormal Witness (S1, E6)

Ghosts and spirits, demons and death; all the episodes mentioned in this post stick to relatively confined notions of the spiritualistic and pagan religions. However, this episode takes us further than I ever expected.

Paranormal Witness is a show - a bit like Celebrity Ghost Stories - where paranormal stories get retold and acted out.

And this episode follows a young man, Don, who becomes possessed by his abusive grandfather. Having displayed the typical signs of possession, he then began to have strange encounters with water.

Water began to seep from the walls, and then from the ceiling. But this wasn’t water - when someone touched it, it felt sticky.

It was only when Don was stuck in a trance, that water began to go upwards, towards the ceiling, and pots and pan began to rattle.

When religious rituals were used to cleanse Don, the water was directed towards the bible and person performing the cleansing.

This was only the start of Don’s new powers. And they were to intensify during his final stint in prison.

Hungry for more? Check out the full episode here:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2hvjvg

#11 - The Haunted Highway - Paranormal Witness (S1, E2)

Like I said: Paranormal Witness doesn’t stick to the typical hauntings we see. And this episode involves a UFO.

This story - without spoiling the episode - revolves around a mother and son who go missing in the desert. With a relative’s strange dreams pointing her to where they might be and a medical mystery twisting the tale, all that is left is one question:

What really happened in the desert?

You can watch this episode on Amazon for £1.89.

#12 - Celebrity Ghost Stories (S1, E9)

This episode featuring Morgan Fairchild, Lili Taylor, John Salley and Vincent Curatol is considered one of the scariest episodes of this popular episodes from which paranormal experience are acted out.

Here’s the synopsis to tickle your tastebuds of terror:

“A young Morgan Fairchild is abused by a spirit when she moves into her new husband's family home; an unidentifiable stranger comes to John Salley's aid during a nightclub shooting; Lili Taylor hears unexplained noises when she goes on retreat.”

You can watch this episode on Amazon for £1.89.

#13 - Pendle Hill - Most Haunted (S6, Halloween Special)

Pendle Hill might feature as a hiking opportunity in the Pennines, but it actually has a history - and a haunting - to boot.

Back in the early 17th century, a family of peasants were believed to possess a variety of paranormal powers. And the effigies they made of human hair and teeth didn’t make them appear any less suspicious, either!

The Pendle Witches, as they were known, were arrested, tried and then hung on Pendle Hill.

The witches never left the hill, however.

Not only did the neighbours of the Pendle Witches experience and die from mysterious illnesses, to this day supernatural activity has stuck close to this location.

Teeth have dropped onto tables during seances, and unnaturally frequent rainfall on the hill is a common occurrence.

So, what did the Most Haunted team see when they visited the site?

Acorah was apparently possessed by a witch, and a table and a glass smashed during the seance. Oh, and the whole cast and crew felt as if they were being strangled at certain points during filming.

Were they experiencing the final moments of the Pendle Witches as they were executed for their crimes?

You can check that episode out here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu7yRqoLxLc

Or, you can have a speedy spook, instead!

30.00 - the equipment batteries drain, a classic indicator of paranormal presences.

32.00 - Acorah begins his readings of the area, and clearly becomes quite emotional and intense when describing the spirits he sees and hears.

45.00 - Acorah exhibits strange behaviour, and is on the receiving end of harmful spirits.

59.40 - Acorah sees a spirit - or perhaps an otherworldly being.

01.48.00 - the team perform the seance.

Now it’s time to hear what you think.

Which episode are you watching tonight?

And did I miss any seriously-spooktastic episodes out?

417 notes · View notes

kdramalifee · 4 years

Note

What are your most favorite/recommended dramas? I've honestly only have watched 4 cause never know where to start once I finish one. Thank you!! 💕

Sorry of the late reply ❤

Here’s a “few” dramas that I enjoyed. Some of them fall into more than one category so I’ve written what categories I feel they fall into for each one. I’m going to write the amount of episodes for each show, but I’ll only be counting by (approx.) hour, so if the drama has 32 episodes where each “episode” is half an hour, I’ll write it as 16 episodes. Also some of these have several names, so I’ve just used the one they use on mydramalist. I’ve bolded my favourites.

This list might seem a bit daunting (as it is quite long) but I recommend looking at the specific genres you know you enjoy and just pick one you think seems interesting (there’s no shame in dropping a drama if it doesn’t grip you). If you can’t decide which one to start first, send me a message with the ones you’re trying to choose between and I’ll help you decide ^^

Action/suspense/Crime:

Bad Guys: 11 episodes, Action, Thriller, Psychological. A police detective gathers a team of criminals to combat crime in exchange for reducing their sentence. Throughout the drama, secrets are revealed.

Class of Lies: 16 episodes, Suspense, School, Mystery, Law. A highly successful lawyer falls from grace after the fallout from one of his cases. He fakes his identity to get the position as a teacher at the school connected to this case in an attempt to uncover the truth and save his reputation.

Cross: 16 episodes, Medical, Suspense. To get revenge for the death of his father, Kang In Kyu becomes a (highly skilled) doctor/surgeon and gets a job at the prison where his father’s killer resides in order to kill him.

Doubtful Victory: 20 episodes, Mystery, Crime. A man who was wrongfully sentenced to death when he was younger escapes from prison and fakes his identity as a police officer to help prove his innocence. (Just a heads up: I don’t think a lot of people liked this drama (it gets a bit draggy in the middle). I liked it, but I think that’s an unpopular opinion)

Kill It: 12 episodes, Action, Thriller. Kim Soo Hyun is a veterinarian who is also a professional killer. One day he is hired in exchange for information about his past. At the same time a detective is trying to find Kim Soo Hyun. They both uncover a mystery regarding their shared past.

Healer: 20 episodes, Romance, Action, Mystery. "Healer” is a special kind of night courier, that gets his clients whatever they want, as long as it doesn't involve murder. He is hired by a famous reporter to collect information on a second-rate tabloid writer. He begins to uncover the mystery of his own shared past with the two reporters, thus putting them all in danger. (This is a very popular drama that a lot of people have seen, so if you haven’t seen it I would recommend it.)

Mad Dog: 16 episodes, Action, Investigation, Mystery. A group calling themselves “Mad Dog” fights against insurance scams. They start working with Kim Min Joon, the brother of the man who crashed a plane killing the child and wife of the leader of Mad Dog. They try to uncover the truth behind the plane crash.

Player: 14 episodes, Action, Investigation. A private investigation team consisting of a swindler, a fighter, an elite hacker, and a talented driver is asked to take back property hidden away by criminals.

Save Me: 16 episodes, Psychological, Suspense. Following the failure of her father's business, Sang Mi and her family move to Muji-gun where they have no friends or relatives. After a tragic event, the family is taken in by the “Spiritual Father” resulting in them being trapped in a cult. Four young men try to save her.

Stranger: 16 episodes, Investigation, Mystery. Hwang Shi Mok had brain surgery when he was a child, which caused him to lack emotion. Now, Hwang Shi Mok works as a prosecutor. He meets Police Lieutenant Han Yeo Jin at a murder crime scene and they work together to eradicate corruption at the prosecutor's office and solve a serial murder case.

The Guardians: 16 episodes, Action, Thriller. After the murder of her daughter, Jo Soo Ji joins forces with a few other people to monitor criminals 24 hours a day and rescue potential victims before the crime is committed. Together with these people she fights to get justice for her daughter, who’s murderer is still free.

WATCHER: 16 episodes, Action, Suspense, Investigation. Kim Young Goon became a police officer after his father was imprisoned for the murder of his mother. The detective who imprisoned his father is the leader of the internal affairs investigation team and gets Young Goon to join in order to fight against corruption and uncover the truth behind the tragic incident.

Fantasy/sci-fi:

Angels Last Mission: Love: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy. Lee Yeon Seo is the prima ballerina, but after an accident she has to give up her dream. After her parents' sudden death, she doesn’t trust anyone since there are a lot of people lurking around her and her inherited money. Kim Dan is an optimistic, carefree angel who is always getting into trouble. In order to return to heaven, he is tasked with a mission to find true love for the talented but emotionally distant ballerina

Are You Human Too?: 18 episodes, Romace, Sci-fi. After loosing her son to her father in law, a woman creates an android to replace him. Years later the android called Nam Shin III must pretend to be the son of the rich family when the real Nam Shin falls into a coma.

Chicago Typewriter: 16 episodes, Fantasy/Supernatural, Romance. The story of a popular writer suffering from writers block, a fan of said author and a literal GHOST writer who starts writing for the main character. In a past life, these three people were all members of the resistance wanting to free Korea from the Japanese occupation. The story is set in modern times and in the 1930′s.

Circle: 12 episodes, Alien, Sci-fi, Mystery. This drama is set in both 2017 and the year 2037. In 2017 we follow the story of a college student working together with a woman that looks identical to a girl he knew as a child to investigate suicides that she insists are actually murders. In 2037 technology has advanced to the point where you can control human emotion (creating a city without crime). A detective enters this city in order to investigate a missing persons case from 2017. (The first half of each episode is set in 2017, the other half in 2037).

Duel: 16 episodes, Sci-fi, Crime, Suspense. After his daughter gets kidnapped a detective tries all he can to get her back. Suddenly the culprit shows up without any memories, denying that he has anything to do with the case. They work together to find the detectives daughter and uncover secrets along the way.

EXIT: 2 episodes (drama special), Sci-fi, Psychological. Kang Soo is a loan shark that tries to get by day to day in his depressing reality. No matter how hard he tries, he can't escape the nightmare of his reality, and when he was about to give up on his life, he sees a flier asking, "Do you want to become happy?" He goes to the research center, however, he learns that happiness comes at a steep price of 300,000 dollars. He decides to steal the money.

Extraordinary You: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy, School. Eun Dan Oh, a 17 year-old high-school student, experiences gaps in her memory and eventually comes to the realization that she’s living in a comic book. Not only that, but she is also a secondary character who’s supposed to die later on in the story due to a heart condition. She decides to change her fate and defy the writer to get a happy ending for herself.

Go Back Couple: 12 episodes, Fantasy, Life, Romance. Choi Ban Do and Ma Jin Joo are both 38-years-old and a married couple. Choi Ban Do has been burdened with being the breadwinner and Ma Jin Joo is a housewife with low self-esteem. Even though they loved each other when they married, they now hate each other. They both regret marrying at such a young age. The couple travels through time and finds themselves as 20-year-old university students when they met for the first time.

He is Psychometric: 16 episodes, Fantasy, Romance, Mystery, Comedy. After losing his parents in a fire, Lee Ahn acquires the power of psychometry, the ability to read a person or an object's past through physical contact, and he decides to use it to take bad people down. While he does not know how to control his power yet, he meets Yoon Jae In who tries her best to hide her painful secrets. Together with his foster guardian, prosecutor Kang Sung Mo, and the latter's colleague, investigator Eun Ji Soo, they team up to solve an elusive case that has been haunting the lives of Ahn, Sung Mo, and Jae In.

Life on Mars: 16 episodes, Fantasy, Mystery, Suspense. As leader of a crime investigation team, Han Tae Joo has propelled his career and risen through the ranks by trusting data over all else. One day, while investigating a serial murder case, he has an accident. When he wakes up, he suddenly finds himself in the winter of 1988. He doesn't know why, but he's now a detective appointed to work at a police station in a small city. To get back to the present day, Han Tae Joo tries to solve the case.

Signal: 16 episodes, Mystery, Fantasy, Crime. Fifteen years ago, a young girl was kidnapped on the way from school, and Park Hae Yeong, who was an elementary school student at that time, witnessed the crime. A few days later, the girl was found dead, and the police were not able to find the culprit. As time went by, Hae Yeong started distrusting the police. Fifteen years later, Hae Yeong is now a police officer and criminal profiler. One day, he finds a walkie-talkie that allows him to get in contact with Detective Lee Jae Han who is in the past. They then set out on a journey to solve cold cases.

Splash Splash Love: 2 episodes (Drama Special), Romance, Fantasy. Dan Bi is a high school senior who has given up on math. On the day she is about to take the KSAT for college, she is transported back into the past during a freak rain shower. She finds herself hundreds of years in the past at the height of the Joseon Kingdom, which is suffering from a severe drought. She encounters King Lee Do who yearns to learn advanced mathematics and falls in love with him.

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy. Bong Soon is a woman with supernatural strenght who pines after a childhood crush who now works as a police officer. She is approached by the CEO of a gaming company who has a distrust for the police and she starts working as a bodyguard for him. (There are some problematic elements to this show, but the romance is really sweet)

The Guest: 16 episodes, Supernatural, Horror, Mystery. It centers around three characters who had their lives ruined by a demon called “Son” (the guest) when they were kids. Yoon Hwa Pyung is a psychic that can see ghosts and who was once possessed by “Son” causing his mother and his grandmother to die and his father to try to kill him. Kang Gil Young is a detective whose mother was killed by the demon and Choi Yoon/ Mateo is a catholic priest that exorcises demons and whose brother was once possessed by “Son” causing him to kill his family. They band together to find and stop “Son”.

You Who Came From the Stars: 21 episodes, Romance, Fantasy. Do Min Joon is an alien who landed on Earth 400 years ago during the Joseon Dynasty period. He possesses a near perfect appearance and enhanced physical abilities involving his vision, hearing and speed. Later, he discovers that he has three months left on Earth. And that is when he meets Cheon Song Yi, the biggest Hallyu star in Korea.

Romance:

Come and Hug Me: 16 episodes, Suspense, Romance, Melodrama. When they were children, Yoon Na Moo and Gil Nak Won were each others first love. They are forced to break apart when Na Moo's father Yoon Hee Jae, a psychopath serial killer, murders Nak Won's parents. 12 years later, Jae Yi has become a popular actress and Do Jin is now an experienced detective trying to repent for his fathers sins. They meet again and start to develop a relationship.

Descendants of the Sun: 16 episodes, Romance, Medical, Action. Kang Mo Yeon works as a cardiothoracic surgeon and Yoo Shi Jin is the Captain and team leader of Alpha Team. They both get sent into an area of conflict, and start to devolop a relationship.

Hospital Ship: 20 episodes, Romance, Medical. This drama is about army doctors aboard a hospital ship, which is a floating hospital that serves people who live on remote islands. Eun Jae, a cold perfectionist surgeon whose fast-track career was derailed, starts working at the ship.

Just Between Lovers: 16 episodes, Romance, Melodrama. A shopping center collapses killing many people. When he was 15, Lee Gang Doo dreamed of playing for the Korean national soccer team, but a serious injury sustained as a result of the accident destroys those dreams. In the years after the accident, Gang Doo spends his days fighting through physical and emotional pain, struggling to support his sister and pay back a hefty debt, and working as a construction worker. When she was 15, Ha Moon Soo lived through the accident, and years later she is still plagued by nightmares. She lives above the women’s bath house that her mother runs and specializes in making architectural models that are an important safety element in any major building planning process. Years after the incident, a construction project is due to kick-off at the accident site, and they both get involved in the project, causing them to develop a relationship while struggling with the painful memories it brings back.

Shopping King Louie: 16 episodes, Romance. The story of “Shopaholic Louie” revolves around a handsome shopaholic named Louie, who is the successor of a vast business empire but becomes homeless after suffering from amnesia. Meanwhile, Koh Bok Shil, a country girl who lives a life that is worlds apart from the rich and famous, encounters Louie in Seoul. They develop a relationship.

Thirty but Seventeen: 16 episodes, Romance. Woo Seo Ri, a violin prodigy at 17 who was about to study in Germany, got into a bus accident and fell into a coma waking up 13 years later. Mentally she is still only 17, while physically she is now 30. Due to a trauma he experienced 13 years before, Gong Woo Jin does not want to have a relationship with others. They get to know each other and try and open the door to the happiness that they once thought had been closed to them.

When the Camellia Blooms: 20 episodes, Romance, Thriller, Life. Dong Baek is a single mother living in the small town of Ongsan. She runs the bar-restaurant Camellia, while also taking care of her son Pil Gu. The people of Ongsan frequently gossip about Dong Baek. She grew up as an orphan, is a single mother and runs a bar where many of the men in Ongsan frequent. Regardless of what the locals may whisper about Dong Baek, local police officer Hwang Yong Shik is deeply in love with her. Meanwhile, Dong Baek's ex-boyfriend Kang Jong Ryeol suddenly reappears in her life. He is a famous baseball player, that hid their relationship when they dated. While Dong Baek tries to find happiness, something truly sinister lurks in the background. A serial killer roams Ongsan and Dong Baek may be a target.

Historical:

Kingdom: 6 episodes, Action, Historical, Zombie. The King falls ill to smallpox and rumors start to spread that he has actually died. Meanwhile, Crown Prince Lee Chang is labeled a traitor by the Haewon Cho Clan, the clan of the current pregnant Queen and her father, Chief State Councillor Cho Hak Joo. While trying to uncover the mystery of what happened to his father, the Crown Prince goes with his guard, Moo Young, to Dongnae to look for the physician that treated his father, only to be stuck with Assistant Physician Seo Bi and a mysterious man named Young Shin in a village plagued with a terrifying disease.

My Country: 16 episodes, Historical, Action, Romance, Tragedy. Two friends ends up on opposite sides in a conflict involving the fight for the crown. Confronted with betrayal the two of them have to learn how to fight against their best friend all while trying to stay good in a cruel world.

The Tale of Nokdu: 16 episodes, Action, Romance, Comedy. One day, Nok Du’s father and older brother are attacked by a group of female assassins. Jeon Nok Du chases after one of the assassins to the capital. To find out why his family was attacked, Jeon Nok Du disguises himself as a woman and enters a widow village where the assassins are hiding. There, he meets Dong Dong Ju who is an apprentice to become a gisaeng.

Misc:

Age of Youth: 12 episodes, Friendship, Life. Five girls in their twenties come to live together in a house called "Belle Epoque. As the girls feel a bond of sympathy and become closer, they also deal with their personal issues as they live out their eventful twenties. The drama follows their struggles and incidents dealing with relationships - within their circles, with dating, and with each other - and a variety of events they are experiencing including credits, part-time jobs, drinking, hopes and dreams. (This drama also has a second season)

Avengers Social Club: 12 episodes, Friendship, Life. Features three women from different walks of life coming together for revenge: a fish store ajumma who envisioned a better life for herself, a housewife, and a chaebol’s daughter who was raised like a delicate greenhouse flower. They’re an unlikely trio who would never otherwise meet, but they join forces to carry out their individual revenges. Although they start out as co-conspirators, along the way they’ll build a strong friendship.

Chief Kim: 20 episodes, Business, Comedy. Kim Sung Ryong is a skilled accountant who works for gangsters. He makes his way into a company called TQ Group as a middle manager in the accounting department with the intention of embezzling money from the company. As he contends with hot-shot accountant Yoon Ha Kyung, financial prodigy Seo Yul and peppy intern Hong Ga Eun, Sung Ryong finds himself embroiled in office politics and notices other shenanigans by those in power that threaten to bring down the company. Sung Ryong slowly comes to realize that he’d rather fight against corporate corruption and fight for employees’ rights than complete the mission he originally came to do.

Miss Hammurabi: 16 episodes, Law, Romance. Park Cha Oh Reum is a newly appointed judge who is assigned to the 44th Civil Affairs Department at the Seoul Central District. She is always on the lookout for injustice and is able to profoundly empathize with others. Compared to her, Im Ba Reun is a cool-headed man of principle with the creed of ‘Court that is equal to all’, and he is displeased with junior judge Park Cha Oh Reum who is overly sympathetic when it comes to cases. (There is one moment in the first episode (I believe) where something problematic occurs, but I think its only that one thing).

Psychopath Diary: 16 episodes, Comedy, Mystery. Yook Dong Sik is a 34-year-old office worker who is so weak and timid that he is used by everybody around him. After an incident, he becomes the scapegoat of his company, and so facing losing his job and his family turning their back on him, he decides to commit suicide. While doing so, he unexpectedly stumbles across a murder scene, but gets into an accident while running from the murderer. He wakes up with amnesia with the psychopath's diary in his possession. With no clues to his true nature other than the diary,and his fragmented memory lining up with the diary entry, he begins to believe that he is in fact a psychopath serial killer.

Happy watching!

#ask #arminartlet #kdrama #im starting to realise i might have seen too many kdramas #and yes after a while i got tired of writing the synopsis so i just copied them from mydramalist #and just edited the ones i felt were too long

28 notes · View notes

miracle-sham · 4 years

Text

When Sitting on the Roof, We are but Coffee Sleuths.

| {Sequel to Death is the Stage, My Art is Your Grave.} |

| {Repost due to original post disappearing from tags.} |

| Triggers/Warnings: Mentions of drugs/drug ring (in regards to a case), Mild language. |

| After a long day of boring casework, there's nothing better than getting a new commission, and then drinking coffee and having a chat on top of a roof with a certain bat. |

| Word Count: 3051 |

==–==

| A/N: First of all, I'd like to quickly thank everyone for all the positive response and support the original oneshot got on both Tumblr and Ao3! It really motivated and inspired me to continue with this Au (expect at least another sequel, maybe more if I get more inspo but even if I don't there's definitely gonna be one sequel minimum to this). I'd also like to mention, that this took a lot longer to write as I got a cold halfway through writing it and also it's romance based fluff (which is not my forté), but thanks to those who've waited for this! And finally, for reasons that I'll explain in a separate post later, it might be a "little" while before I can start work on the sequel to this one but it will get written at some point. |

| If you want to be tagged in future oneshots/fics, or a specific Au, then send me a DM or an ask! |

| Also side note, Don't Like? Don't Read. Also also, please do not criticise any of my writing. This was written for fun and receiving criticism, even in a compliment/criticism sandwich, is the exact opposite of fun. |

==–==

It's been a month since Marinette got kidnapped, kissed Red Robin, and solved the Elemental Park Serial Killer case. For three weeks she's been held off active duty to make sure her bruised ribs heal but now that she's able to be on active duty again, all the available cases are those that are paperwork heavy. A small part of her misses the immediate healing of the Miraculous Cure but she's not Ladybug anymore and even if she was, it would raise too many flags for her to even use it anyway. But logic doesn't stop her from missing the days when she could literally and metaphorically magic away her aches and pains.

Marinette groans and slumps into her chair, it's been a surprisingly slow day at the GCPD, so when her phone beeps rapidly for a few seconds, she thinks, please be something interesting, and can't help but take a quick glance to see what new notifications she has. The screen reads: '3 new messages from Red'. So she taps the notification and reads through each message.

>RedRob: Hey, found some new evidence on our case, want to meet up for coffee to discuss it?

>RedRob: Rooftop coffee after dark, of course.

>RedRob: I mean I could waltz into a coffee shop during the day in my suit but that might get too much attention for case talk.

Marinette snickers to herself as she reads the messages over a second time. She quickly taps out her response.

>MariBlue: Will we need to worry about one of the other Gotham vigilantes crashing our coffee not-date?

Almost instantly she receives a response.

>RedRob: I'll bribe Oracle or Batgirl, maybe even Black Bat, into keeping the others away.

She sends a heart emoji back, then returns to sorting out her boring paperwork.

Detective Grayson raises an eyebrow at her from over the desk, clearly having caught her looking at her phone. “Red Robin again?”

She flashes him a sheepish grin. “How'd you guess.”

He gives her a deadpan stare. “He's the only person you respond to when working.”

Marinette bites her lip. “Whoops, that obvious?”

“Yes.” Detective Grayson hesitates for a second, he leans in closer—and like a teenage girl at a sleepover in a cheesy teen drama, asks, “So are you dating yet?”

She shrugs. “Well neither of us have asked the other so not really.”

“But you guys are perfect for each other!” He exclaims, gesturing towards her with an outstretched arm—very narrowly avoiding knocking anything off the desk.

It's Marinette's turn to raise an eyebrow. “We literally have only seen or talked to each other when working…”

“So? What do you call you quote unquote "not-dates"” He huffs, making air quotes as he speaks.

She huffs and shakes her head. “There's a reason they're called "not-dates" and that's because we discuss work at them. And anyway it's too early to rush our relationship.”

“Fair.” Detective Grayson stills, frowns and then almost hesitantly, he asks, “Is it because if the mask? The whole not knowing his real identity?”

Marinette rolls her eyes and shakes her head again. “Nope, I couldn't care less about finding out his real identity—at least not without his consent that is.”

He hums, a pensive look on his face. “So you're not curious?”

She shrugs. “Not particularly, why?”

Detective Grayson shrugs back. “Just wondering,” he leans back on his chair and for a split second, Marinette fears he might topple over but somehow he seems unaffected by gravity, “I think you're the first person I've met, who doesn't want to know who's behind a vigilante's mask.”

A smile tugs at Marinette's lips. “I think it's kinda dumb that so many people are obsessed with the people behind the masks because if they're doing good, unmasking them will only deter them from continuing fighting the good fight and all that, y'know.”

He nods slowly, “huh, that's one way of putting it I guess but I agree, the vigilantes do more for this city than people think they do.” Detective Grayson then tilts his head towards the Commissioner's office. “Anyway back to work, don't want to get in more trouble with the Commish than we are already!”

Marinette huffs in amusement and rolls her eyes but complies nonetheless. Wouldn't do to get in trouble so soon after getting back onto active duty!

==–==

It isn't until gone seven pm, that Marinette finally gets home. She slips through the door, locking it behind her. Now that she's in, the first thing she does, as she does every day, is check her online portfolio and commission site.

Marinette plops herself down in her wheely chair and logs onto to her computer, going through all the verification and security Max had kindly added. A new commission notification grabs her attention. With three clicks, she brings up the new commission's details. She scrolls down to the name of the commissioner: one Mr 'T. Drake-Wayne'.

Curious as to why the name sounds vaguely familiar, Marinette opens up a tab on Google with a hum and types in the name. Upon reading the top results, she half chokes in shock and thinks to herself, Are you kidding me? She blinks and breathes in, a small part of her very glad she wasn't drinking anything otherwise she definitely would've fully choked on that or spat it all up from the shock. I know a bunch of well-known celebrities have all commissioned me many times before, but still why the heck is a fortune 500 CEO commissioning me? I'm not Audrey Bourgeois, Gabriel Agreste, or even Valen-hecking-tino. I do celebrities, not fortune 500. The heck. What. The. Actual. Heck.

Eyes wide and gobsmacked, Marinette shakes her head and clicks back to her latest commission's details page to read through the actual commission. After reading the first line, she scrambles for her sketchbook and begins jotting down notes and scribbling down ideas.

Half an hour in, Marinette takes a break to sort out and eat dinner, no point designing on an empty stomach but once she's done eating and washed up, she goes straight back to designing.

Even at a quarter past midnight, she's still at it—surprisingly only three drafts in and so thoroughly lost in her own head in designing, Marinette nearly misses the knocking against her window facing the fire escape.

The rapid rap-tap-tap spooks her so much that she falls out of her chair with an “Eep!”

Marinette, face flushing bright red, scrambles up and scurries over to the window in question. Shoving her blinds out the way, she stares through the window and is greeted with the absolutely glorious sight of a beaming and uninjured Red Robin holding two takeaway coffee cups on the fire escape. He waves at her with one hand and gestures for her to join him on the fire escape.

She can't help but grin back at him and deftly opens the window and slinks out onto the fire escape. He hands a coffee cup towards her and instead of taking it, Marinette gives him a good ol' bearhug—smooshing pressing her face into his Kevlar armoured chest. Which is unsurprisingly, very uncomfortable. She shifts her head to stare up at him (as he's at least whole head taller than her) “Hey,” she greets.

Awkwardly hugging her back, as to not spill either of the coffees in the process, “hey yourself,” Red Robin responds, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

Marinette pulls back from the hug and nabs the coffee cup that had been offered to her before their hug. “Thank you~!”

“No problem.” He then gestures towards the fire escape stairs leading to the roof, “after you.”

“So which of our cases did you manage to get a lead for?” She asks, making her way up to the roof.

“The one pertaining to the new drug ring in the fashion district. I've narrowed down where they're storing the drugs to potentially three warehouses near Miller Harbour.” Red Robin answers, following after her.

Reaching the roof, Marinette sits down on the half wall around the roof edge. She glances over at Red Robin as he joins her on the improvised seat. “That's the drug ring dealing Miraclo right?”

“Yeah, that's the one.” He pauses to take a sip of his coffee, “I got the intel from an old friend of Catwoman's called Mackey lives in an apartment that overlooks the Harbour and saw a shipment of the drug arrive at the warehouses.”

Taking a sip of her own coffee, Marinette raises an eyebrow. “And will Detective Grayson and I will be able to get that intel as witness statement?”

Red Robin nods. “Yep, Catwoman's vouching for you both.”

She jerks back in surprise, nearly toppling off the half wall but managing to cling to the edge in time to keep her from falling. Miraculously somehow managing to avoid dropping or spilling her coffee. Oof, if it wasn't for my stint in Spandex I definitely would've made a fool of myself in front of Red Robin. And here I thought that part of my life had since passed. Marinette thinks to herself, wincing at the newly gained superficial graze across her palms. She clears her throat and attempts to look like she didn't just nearly fall off a half wall. “Catwoman's vouching for us? Since when? I've literally never encountered her before.”

Red Robin, the traitor, snorts at her predicament. “You are the epitome of elegance. And Detective Grayson's bumped into her a few times on the job.”

“Thanks.” She responds drily, layering on the sarcasm thickly. She shakes her head and sighs. “So do you know what the addresses are for the warehouses and this Mackey's apartment?”

He takes an excruciatingly slow sip of his coffee before speaking. “Of course I can, what kind of vigilante do you take me for?” He then proceeds to rattle off the addresses.

Which Marinette jots down on the napkin that came with her coffee, and puts it into a pocket for safekeeping. “Thank you.” With it written down, she pauses then starts kicking her legs in the air. She sniffs. “And I take you for the kind that flirts with innocent police officers.”

Red Robin grins at her as he gently elbows her in the ribs. “I don't hear you complaining.”

Marinette scoffs and slaps her hand to her chest in an overly dramatic mock of shock. “Unfair! If I complained I wouldn't get any hugs or kisses from you!”

Humming he wraps an arm around her shoulders and presses a kiss to her temple. “That's true, what a shame it would be for you to miss out on all those hugs.”

She hums back and the two ease into a comfortable silence; leaning against each other and sipping their coffees whilst staring at the night sky.

Once Marinette gets halfway through her coffee, she glances at Red Robin and hesitates, her earlier conversation with Detective Grayson springing to mind. “Communication is key in healthy relationships,” she prefaces, “so are you okay with our current relationship? Y'know the flirting, the not-dates, the whole me not knowing your identity?”

Red Robin laughs, sounding slightly bitter. “Of course I'm fine with the flirting and not-dates but I'm not going to lie and say I don't have any worries over you not knowing my identity. It's one of the reasons a relationship I had with a fellow mask didn't work out.” Rubbing at his jaw, he tilts his face away from her slightly, as though reminiscing about something. He then shakes his head and turns back to her. “Really, I ought to be asking you that. So what about you, are you okay with how our relationship is?”

Marinette hums. “This isn't the first time relationship I've had with a masked hero.” Then takes a calm sip of her coffee.

“So you've got a thing for masks then huh? Lucky me I guess.” He responds, smirking mischievously, and whilst she can't see the rest of his face thanks to the cowl, Marinette just knows that he's wiggling his eyebrows at her from underneath that cowl.

His comment nearly sends her tumbling off the half wall—again. She coughs and splutters in laughter as she nearly spits up her sip of coffee. It takes her a full thirty seconds to recover and mock gripes, “remind me why I love you again.”

Red Robin cocks his head to the side and grins. “Because I bring you coffee?”

She huffs, “good point.”

“So back to the mask thing, can I ask what happened with your masked hero relationship?” He asks, tone hesitant. He stares at her, ready to back off the topic at the slightest sign of discomfort from her.

Marinette hisses through her teeth and states, “I can trust you.”

His stare conveys an 'I would hope so' whilst he bobs his head a little in a 'yes you can' and a 'please continue' gesture.

She takes a deep breath before speaking, “I used to be a hero, back when I lived in Paris.”

“Oh?” Red Robin freezes, thrown off guard by her admission.

Nodding, Marinette continues. “It was difficult. We started when we were barely teens and had no training and no support except for temporary heroes we could bring in when the battles got too hard for just me and my partner to handle. When we started, we were repeatedly told to never, under any circumstances, let anyone find out our identities. My partner and I, neither of us knew who the other was beneath the mask. And we only knew the identities of the temporary heroes because we gave them the ability to become superheroes. But even then we didn't always know their real identities and they certainly never knew ours.”

“Yikes.” Is all he can respond with, mind racing with questions. “That can't have been good, at least I had Batman and Nightwing when I was starting out, but you had no one to talk to about being a mask, outside the mask.”

She flashes him a watery smile and sighs. “No, I did have someone. Tikki. But we're uh, not in contact any more. Since I retired.”

Still, Red Robin makes a noise of concern at that.

“Anyway, one thing led to another led to another, and my partner found out my identity.” Marinette puts her coffee down then tips her head back and closes her eyes. “We started dating not long after that. But once we defeated the BBEG terrorising Paris and some… concerning things came to light, our—we,” She shakes her head, “we realised that because of that, neither of us were emotionally able to continue our relationship in a romantic way. So we decided to stay friends and I—uh, I retired and moved to Gotham.”

He puts his coffee down as well, and pulls her into a tight hug, although making sure it wasn't too constricting as to not make her uncomfortable. “I'm sorry.”

She leans into the hug, rests her head on his shoulder, and delicately wraps her arms around him in return. “What? Why? It's not your fault.”

Red Robin frowns, not that she can see in their current position, “I know but no one should be forced into becoming a hero at such a young age with no support network.”

Huffing, Marinette buries her face in his shoulder, somewhat muffling her voice but not enough to make her unintelligible, “what about Spoiler? She became a hero around that age and had no support network.”

He sighs. “Spoiler chose to become a vigilante, she wasn't forced. And anyway, she had Robin and the rest of the bats to support her once they realised what she was doing.”

“Hmm… fair.” Marinette pulls back from the hug and pauses. “On a lighter note, I got a commission on my fashion site from Tim Drake-Wayne!”

Red Robin raises an eyebrow and with poorly concealed amusement, responds, “Oh? And what's so special about him”

She rolls her eyes at him. “He's the youngest fortune five hundred CEO, founded the Neon Knights among other charities, and often donates to various charities around Gotham! Plus Wayne Enterprises is one of, if not the most ethical company in the fortune five hundred bracket. Employees get living stipends, and training and higher education paid by the company. They get healthcare and dental insurance. They get flexible work hours, paid breaks, and receive above minimum wage pay!”

He laughs. “I guess he is a pretty decent sounding guy then.”

“Mhmm.”

“So what's the commission then? Or is it a secret?” He teases, leaning towards her.

Marinette dramatically places her hand over her heart. “I guess I can spare you the details this one time.”

“Wooh!”

She bites her lip before launching into a long ramble about the commission, gushing over what design and colour palette she's thinking of going with, what bots and bobs and patterns to add, what stitch to use and how to make sure it fits his style, etc.

Red Robin spends the entire time listening attentively, despite not really understanding half the fashion terms, and staring at her like a love-struck puppy.

“Damn, I love you!” He exclaims once she finishes speaking, then leans in to kiss her on the lips.

Marinette bursts into giggles and kisses him back. Her giggles are seemingly infectious, as once they part from the kiss, both are giggling and flushed red.

A bright flash of white followed by a camera shutter sound immediately distracts them both. They just manage to catch sight of Nightwing swinging away.

She gives him a look, which is somewhat less effective as she's still smiling from the kiss. “What happened to bribing Oracle, Black Bat, or Batgirl?”

Red Robin groans and drops his face into his hands. “Clearly Nightwing was able to one-up my bribe. Probably in the form of giving them copies of the photos both he and Detective Grayson have taken.”

“You mean to tell me those two are working together? No wonder Detective Grayson was asking about our relationship earlier today at work!” Marinette gasps, sounding mildly horrified and betrayed.

“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” Red Robin asks, lifting his head up and grinning deviously at her.

She smirks back, “Revenge?”

He nods—the sagely kind of nod. “Revenge.”

==–==

| Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot! Comments, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated! |

@casual-darkness

#Miraculous Ladybug #ML x DC #DC x MLB #Maribat #Timinette #MariTim #Timari #Marinette x Tim #Tim x Marinette #Death is the Stage My Art is Your Grave #DitSMAiYG #DitSMAiYG Sequel #When Sitting on the Roof We are but Coffee Sleuths #WSotRWabCS #Sham's Posts #Sham's Writing #Sham's Fics

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dontletthishappentoyou · 3 years

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Shows Bonding - I had mild concerns in the first season that were absolutely addressed in the second. Overall, this was what I was looking for. I realized that I’ve been mostly doing cartoons for the past couple years, and it was nice to have some live action stuff that pulled off what it was going for with its characters as well as this one.

Community - Going into this one not knowing if it’ll have the things I like or the things I dislike about Dan Harmon. Turns out it has both, but right now I’m mostly enjoying it for the same kinds of reasons people enjoy Friends or all those other shows that let lonely people vicariously feel that they have friends, or a community. Ratched - What the heck was this? Somebody read and watched One Flew Over the Kuckoos Nest and thought “Nurse Ratched needs a spin-off seiries.” And then they actually clearly put a ton of effort into it? It kinda worked. I kind of wish I had known what to expect a little bit. Basically, what you should expect is kind of out there historical fiction that addresses things like coming to terms with your sexuality in the age of inhumane conversion therapy, mistreatment of the mentally ill, and also petty drama with the coersion and manipulation you might expect from a spy movie and a sitcom at the same time. It works if you’re ready for that. Russian Doll - Bingeable. I wouldn’t watch a second season, but enjoyed it for what it was. I’ve been super into digging into characters lately, and this hit that spot. I found it by just searching for ‘sadcoms’ and this was exactly what I’d hope for. After Life - Ricky Gervais. Very very Ricky Gervais. To the extent that the whole time I was kind of cringing hoping, but not confident, that some of his character’s flaws would be addressed by the end of the series. Most of them were, which I guess is fine. It kind of felt like watching someone figure out how to do something you consider simple. The character arc was a mediocre version of some stuff addressed in Bojack. If you really need more Bojack and can’t find anything good, go for it with this, but meh. She-Ra - Here’s the winner for things I’ve watched this past year. The plot does get convoluted, but I might do an actual video essay about its portrayal of a psudo-leftist utopia, although the political issues it addresses are very limited, since it obviously doesn’t really get into economics or anything like that. But heteronormativiy is out the window, body types are what they are and are portrayed as unquestionably lovable, acceptance is the default, while still refusing to tolerate intolerance and imperialism. It’s interesting to pair it with a series like Ratchet that addresses homophobia directly, but I don’t think it’s failure to recognize the challenges that these people have in the real world is a downside at all. It just exists to show what things would be like without any of that. The antagonist team is generally portrayed as imperialist, stuff you’d safely call evil, while still humanizing its individual members, often delving deep into the manipulation that led them to become a part of the Horde. Which of course gets back to character. Zuko tier stuff here. Not just with the obvious one. At first I kind of disliked the main characters arc, but watched a bunch of videos about it and actually kind of figured out that some of it is largely related to my own personal failures as a person in some of my ineffective attempts to avoid negative attributes. Anyway, there’s nothing I’ve watched that I’d recommend more highly than this in a long time. Movies The Irishman - I didn’t finish this one. It had a pretentious feeling to it that made me feel like I should take the intellectual respnosibility for enjoying it myself or else risk admitting a failure of sophistocation. But it is way to telly over showy and I felt comfortable just not participating in that after the first hour went by without anything I’d clearly identify as the inciting incident. Marriage Story - Watched this with Ivy on Valentines day. Wouldn’t recommend it in that context, but once again, dug into character. Made me freak out about custody, but I’m assuming it won’t have that effect on most people. People said the acting was good, and I completely see what they mean. If I hadn’t been occasionally paying attention and having that in mind, I’m not sure I would have noticed, but that did make it extremely engaging. Room - I really enjoyed the structure of this one. It felt like halfway through it could have been the end and we would have successfully surpassed a hero’s journey or whatever, but that would have ignored the emotional consequences of the kind of issues that the story addressed, so it kept going, introduced a whole new set of characters an hour in, and I don’t think there would have been any other way it would have worked for me. Definitely something I’d recommend. Music Red Velvet - I’ve been listening to this alongside BTS and Black Pink in my dive into K-Pop. With prog and indie, you get CDs, download stuff, listen one way or another, you get your friends to listen to it, then you go to concerts to get closer to the music, witness the viruosity in the case of prog, or connect more humanly with indie. With ska and electronica, you have friends who vaguely like the genre, you go to concerts because they’ll be crazy and fun. But I’ve been kind of exploring how different musics interact with culture over the last few years. Classical, traditional Celtic, folk, and now K-Pop. Y’all have seen the culture around K-Pop. People get deep into it in a different way. I can recognize Petrucci’s solo style, with the rapid picking in the middle register fast stuff, I know Mike Portnoy used a double pedal on a single bass drum in LTE but not DT, I’ve heard people talk about the different distortion pedals Steven Wilson uses, but when people get into Kpop, they know what year RM had different hair colors, what kind of family he comes from, they might have memorized a couple interviews with him, and it’s just taken a bit farther than boy band fandom was taken even in the 90s. I definitely used to see all that as extremely shallow, believing that music should be about the music, but I don’t feel so fundamentalist with my approach to how music ‘should’ interact with culture these days, so I’m seeing if I can get into it. Of course I’m failing a little bit. I mention Red Velvet specifically here because that’s the band who’s music I’ve gotten into most. I just listen to it in the background. I don’t know the names. I’ve been trying with BTS a little bit, but it’s tough when I don’t emotionally connect with the band. I’m trying to see if Red Velvet’s breaking of that barrier with their mildly complex harmony, occasional counterpoint, and diverse instrumentation and style can kind of be a gateway into that culture and I can stop listen to BTS thinking “they have seven dudes, why don’t they utilize their potential for awesome vocal harmonies?" and start listening to it on its own merits. 100 gecs - Nice. It has a playful tone to it. I can imagine doing similar things if instead of having Garage Band, I had been given and taught to use some more intricate production software. Often it sounds like they do the kinds of things people do when they discover new instruments and want to try it out and push it to its limits with no hesitation that people trained might have with more critical ears, but then it’s refined a bit and comes across as authentic and energetic with just a bit of the punk spirit to it, but adjusted to the modern zeitgeist. Other than that, music consumption hasn’t been as prominent in my life as it has and I’d like to get more of that going. I’ve been introducing kids to a variety of things, but that kind of gets me listening to stuff all over the place that I’m already very familiar with and have set associations with.

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paradise-of-guilty-pleasures · 4 years

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Shattered Reflections {17}

[Helsa RP- Fanfic]

Fandom: Frozen

Genre: Post-Frozen/ Canon Divergence

- Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Romance

Pairing(s): Hans/Elsa, Kristoff/Anna

Previous Chapter: 16. Oh Brothers

17. Never Again

Hans knew it was ill-advised-- because everyone told him so. Still, he was a determined man, and doubly determined to make sure that he made himself useful. So after a few weeks and Hans could pick up his sword from the bureau, he had someone fetch him a cane, and walked out of his room escorted by Captain Kristofferson, to meet the guards they had wrangled up.

"Gentlemen," He announced, as he arrived, setting down a stack of papers he had brought with him. "I am Hans, and I have had many titles. Prince of the Southern Isles, Admiral of the same, treasonist, prisoner, fool, and advisor; I'm sure I'm missing a few. To you I am 'trainer' or 'teacher'. I'm here to ensure that people like me can't get past people like you again, so we don't have another raid like what happened a few weeks past. When I'm back in form after having been stabbed in the recent raid, I'll teach you all how to run to catch those who would flee, to fight those who would attack, and to stamp out any cowardice or fear of pain you have. At the end of training we will all have bruises, we will all want a heavy drink, and some of you may hate me, but you'll be a good set of guards in the end."

"Some of you were thwarted by a snow-child specifically meant to be kept out of a room you were guarding, and others had no problem letting a prince from another country casually take control of a kingdom. I had better not see abject failure to perform your duties like that again. That you now have a treasoner standing before you telling you how to do your damned jobs is a disgrace, and you need to be aware of that." He paused, looking over the guard staff, standing tall and speaking with the authority of the Commander of the Navy that he had once been.

"So, it's a very good thing that we're wiping that slate clean." He gestured to brush his hands off, leaning on his cane as he did. "From here on out, your motto is 'never again and never before'. You will never let that happen again, and it never happened. When you get hit in sparring, it has never happened before and it will never happen again. When you fail to complete physical training, it has never happened before and it will never happen again. When you fail, it will be a unique experience and you will learn from it or by god I will make you learn from it. You are here to guard the Queen of Arendelle, not to protect a sweet-shop in the market square from children. If you don't have an excuse from the doctor, you will train daily. If you aren't mourning a family loss or having a baby, you will be at work, and if you make a mistake you will own up to it and you will deal with the consequences like a man, and carry on with life as normal. And if we're all good at what we do, and we're all alive and well, we might even have a bit of fun with it. I've never been a man of the lash, I've always been more for drinking with the men, but I will bring it back if I have to. Now, everyone, pick up a paper and a pencil. I need to know where you're all at. I'll never have anyone do anything I wouldn't do, once my wound is fully healed I'll train right alongside the rest of you, and I'll challenge you to best me at every step. For now, let's get to know you and your experience." Hans was, and it was easy to forget, a military man. He knew how to command men and how to motivate them, both positively and negatively.

The papers asked a number of questions. Name, Age, rank, years of experience; but it also included questions about travel, how many languages one spoke, personal hobbies; strengths and weaknesses, that sort of thing. Some things were intellectual questions about math or logic, some were morality questions. It was a strange hodgepodge of all sorts of questions, almost at random. ~~*~~

The majority guard consisted of men from their late teens/early twenties to mid-forties. There were a few outliers of course, but it's seemed like an accurate representation. The age differences seemed to split the men into two categories: the seasoned members that had been serving since before the Coronation and the new recruits who started serving after, many of them joining recently after the raid. So there were a lot of old dogs and new blood in the mix. There had been some murmurs among the men. Mostly among the new cadets, as well as some of the stubborn old men. A lot of them had been taken aback, when they found out the infamous Hans of the Southern Isles would be their training teacher. The newest recruits had only heard rumors of the Prince's return to Arendelle, they had not witnessed him taking charge during the raid nor understood why he was no longer a prisoner. Even if they were supposedly wiping the slate clean and having a fresh start, there was still some notable doubt among them, yet none of them spoke up to voice their concerns. They did as they were told and picked up a paper and pencil, at least they were good at following orders.

Hans adjusted himself to sit on the desk a while, to give them all time to work.

"When you're done, turn in your papers up front. If for whatever reason you can't complete a question, come to me and ask. I'm a bit of a bastard, yes, but I'll never tease you for an affliction like not knowing a word or not knowing how to read entirely. Indeed, if any of you know anyone who can't hear and needs a job, bring them here. Deaf people are oft good guards, and unfortunately overlooked. Hell, a few particularly ambitious women wouldn't hurt the guard staff either. We're a bit short staffed, by the look of things." He looked among the room. It was packed tight, but the room was already fairly small for the kingdom's guard staff. "Perhaps things are done differently in the Isles, but I don't understand how a kingdom can exist so readily with so few guards. I suppose I should be glad we lasted as long as we did, during the raid. It isn't the fault of any one man, nor even the group of you, I suppose. I cannot fault a fisherman for not catching fish, if none taught him how. At any rate, this is not a graded test."

He waited patiently until the tests were turned in, then stood up again. He moved more slowly, but hid how much pain he was in. "I'll look at these tests a bit later. If you have concerns, feel free to bring them to me privately, I'm sure you know where I'm staying." He offered, leaning heavily on his cane. "Now that that's done, let's clear the air a bit. You all have questions, I can see. I have answers, and I'm not opposed to giving them. Go ahead and ask, I can't do much physical training with you yet, after my own injuries, but I can train your minds, and I've precious little else to do while I'm healing. So, give me your best shot. Ask your questions, 'what did this son of a bitch do to deserve this job'?" He was still a sailor, and there were no royals around. He could curse if he damned well pleased. He waited to see who had questions to ask.

It was rather quiet, with only a few hushed voices murmuring among each other. It seemed no one would be brave enough to question Hans, then all of a sudden the silence was broken.

"What did you do?" one of the new recruits boldly asked. Surprised, everyone turned to look at the young man. "'Cause last most of us have heard, you were the traitor of Arendelle, tryin' to take over the throne." There were gasps at the cadet's audacity to ask. Even with all the eyes on him the boy stood tall and not sheepish about what he'd just asked. Hans had offered after all, everyone was thinking it, so why not dare to ask to get the answers they wanted?

Hans chuckled a little. "Brave boy, I'll teach you how to lead. It takes guts to ask those questions before others, guts that leaders need and followers need to learn to use." He observed. "I was the traitor, yes. I had my reasons, reasons I'm sure I'll tell you all about at some point, but rest assured they weren't very good. I came back to tell my side of the story and make amends. For more reasons, I was in the castle at the time of the raid. Because the castle rooms aren't built as a prison cell, the doors were left unlocked and guards left, under the assumption that they would be able to stop me if I tried to leave. I won't postulate about whether or not that's a correct assumption, but I never tried the door until I heard the sound change in the hall, and the guards understandably gone. Then I went searching for a sword, to help fend off the attackers. By the time I got to the Queen's side, even Captain Kristofferson was down, so the Queen and I held off much of the attack until Anna's boyfriend -Lord Kristoff, I believe?- came in with bow and arrows. The fight wasn't fun, but we managed against nigh impossible odds. I got stabbed in the process and caught a pommel to the face, the Queen got a slight scratch to her face and an injured arm." He explained. "As it turns out, the pommel truly is the way to 'end them rightly'." That was a very niche and obscure joke he didn't expect a single one of them to understand. As if to illustrate his point regarding wounds, he raised the hem of his shirt so they could see the unpleasant wound to his side, stitches gone, but the wound still red and warped. "It's not my first, nor my last scar, in battle or otherwise, and I was already healing from the lashes one gets for being a traitor in the navy, if you'd like to see those scars, too." He gestured to his back, but didn't show them immediately. He looked more amused than bothered. "Does that answer your question? I'm afraid I do love to ramble, feel free to ask more."

"Yes, sir." The young man answered with a nod. There was a brief silence yet again.

"Question," someone else spoke up. This time it was one of the older men. "About the paper we just filled out. The questions made sense, for the most part, but some of them seemed rather arbitrary, for example asking about our personal hobbies. I don't understand how exactly knowing that information has anything to do with training?"

Hans smiled a bit and shrugged. "Whom do you send to learn tactics for battle-- the man who prefers swordplay, or the man who prefers games of skill? The answer is games, for tactics are just strategy games with a risk. Who do you send to battle, the gambler or the logician? The gambler, because he understands chance. Westergaard ways are old ways, I prepare for sieges and swordplay, as well as modern diplomacy. Does anyone know why Deaf guards are so very useful?" He asked, and glanced between them, to see if there would be answers. "A Deaf man on a ship cannot be fazed by cannon fire around him, a Deaf guard in a castle chamber cannot spill secrets. Every man has his use and every hobby has its useful applications, if only we can find them. We in Arendelle have the unique experience of living in an era under which ice is our greatest tactical advantage, so if any of you happen to enjoy ice-skating-- you'll be the finest swordsmen we'll have by the time I'm through with you. If you have good aim, archers. If you favor brute strength, zweihanders and door-breakers, if you prefer to run, we'll have ammunition runners and recovery men. Everyone will have their uses and be able to be dispatched at notice. I will get to know your names and your stories over time, as will Captain Kristofferson, so we will know where to send you at a moment's notice when you're needed. We'll see who's the best not by bragging, but by practice, and everyone here will be the best in the squad at something." He paused, and rolled his neck, to pop it and let the silence hang a moment. "Every man has his use. Does anyone know why a cat is a necessary crewman at sea?" He waited patiently, to see if anyone would answer.

"Vermin," answered one of the men. "To keep rats from eating everything," added another. "They've got nine lives," one remarked more humorously.

Hans laughed. "Yes I am, but what about the cat?" He joked dryly. "For the mice, precisely, but their luck doesn't hurt either! If the ships had mice, the mice would eat the food, and the men would have no food to eat. Thus, we would have a dead crew and a dead ship, all for the lack of one hungry cat. Who among you will be our hungry cat? Someone will be the lynchpin of success, and it could be for any reason, in any event. Who will be Fletcher, the young man in the crow's nest who could point out pirates in a fog too thick to see the fore from the aft? Who will be the cannoneer Grym, with perfect aim? There is a niche for each of you to fill, in order to make a perfect crew, and without the right ones, we may fall. So, I will find you your niche, if you don't find it for yourself." He assured, already getting excited about the prospect. "And as soon as this damned wound heals, we are going to have ourselves a hunt." He rubbed his hands together, already excited at the prospect. "For now... who wants to try some sword fighting? I'm reasonably confident I can take any one of you injured, and I'd like to see you bastards prove me wrong." He grinned playfully, clearly just trying to get them in the spirit of the game, and get them geared up to beat him at sword fighting.

The men's laughter rumbled throughout the room. Hans had managed to boost the troops' morale to start their training and him opening up for questions had seemed to ease some of their doubts.

"I'd gladly oblige to your challenge Westergaard, just to try to prove you wrong, I like seemingly impossible odds. Though it's highly likely you're still able to kick my hind, even in your current condition, I don't think the Queen would be to thrilled if she found out I returned you more scratched up than you are now, that is if I managed to surprise even myself by beating you," chuckled Captain Kristofferson. "I'll also take you up on your offer, for real, once you're in peak condition, even if that means the odds are against me. It'll hurt my pride to lose, even if it's just in practice and 'it never happened', but if it helps me improve myself in any way to better protect Arendelle I'll do it in a heartbeat. I hope you're all committed to do the same." He declared, taking the lead trying to set the example to his men as is to be expected of a Captain.

Hans rubbed his hands together. "Excellent, let's show the men a good sporting game, shall we? Out to the yards then, tell me you've got some good practice swords? I expect to have to order you all a whole new armory, but practice swords should absolutely be standard. I don't know whether I'll be more disappointed if they're falling to pieces, or if they're new." He warned. He still leaned on his cane somewhat as he moved. "Luckily my injury isn't on my sword-arm side. You might stand a chance if I had to operate left-handed." He teased. In spite of the cane, he moved quickly enough. He moved out to the practice yard, and claimed himself a practice sword closer to a navy cutlass than his own bastard sword, with a few practice swings. "This'll do." He then went about checking the space to clear it out, and used the point of it to hack a few rings into the space.

"Who was present during the raid?" He asked, when he was done, moving himself to the center of the rings he had made. "Who, if any among you, recalls what direction I shouted as I passed by to find the Queen? What advice did I give? And, why am I asking?" He loved to challenge them with questions, in between making them laugh. He was glad to see they had a sense of humor about them. That was more or less how he led ships, too.

There were various voices that answered:

"Press in!"

"Repel them back!"

"Hold the line!"

As Hans was having a teaching moment, the Captain was choosing his sword, he decided to go with a standard arming sword.

Hans clasped his hands over his wooden sword-hilt and looked so proud.

"My god, you actually listened." He seemed genuinely touched at the idea. He took a moment, then cleared his throat a little. "Now, today we're going to see what I mean by that. We can all see where I'm starting, yes? Bulls-eye." He gestured down, standing in the middle of the field.

"Captain, drive me as far from this point as you can, and I'll try to defend without moving from the bulls-eye. Then we'll switch, and see who can press the other back furthest. You know the rules, only thieves try to hit family jewels, ey? And I'd like my head as un-cracked as possible while I'm still recovering from my two recent near-death experiences. Otherwise, do your damnedest, or I'll never stop giving you shit about it." He flourished with his wooden blade a little, and readied himself. The Hans who trained men was certainly a different man from the Prince Hans who was all 'Your Majesty's and 'Good Sir's. He suspected this Hans was the one the men would learn from best.

"I won't go easy on you just because your wounded Westergaard, I know you won't hold back either, and I'm quite aware I'll never hear the end of it if I don't give it my all," affirmed the Captain with a nod, holding his sword with both hands in the ready position. Once he saw Hans was ready he charged him with all his might.

"Good, because you'll never hear the end of it when you lose to a wounded man, either." Hans teased. He proved to be an agile fighter, in spite of his cane, which he seemed to have forgotten about, fallen to the ground. He defended and parried skillfully, using short thrusts and sharp raps about the shins to force the Captain to back up as best he could, stepping to one side or ducking or even turning -into- attacks to avoid being forced back. He didn't hit hard, because that wasn't the purpose; nor did he aim to disarm, because that would've gone against the point. He simply aimed to hold his ground. While injured, of course, this was no easy task. Being limited to a circle was a difficult business, and this was certainly the challenged position to begin in. He was forced back once or twice by attacks to his weak side, which he was forced to defend more carefully against, but he regained his position by stepping in close and aiming for weak parts of the abdomen, or careful strikes near the neck. He said he wouldn't attack the head, but he'd never said anything about the throat. He was all business during the fight, perhaps entirely because he had to be, as he was recovering. He kept his free hand over his wound, to protect it from getting any worse, but he never flinched from a blow, even if it did make one of his many injuries hurt.

"I think we've quite made our point, Captain? We never did specify an endgame, my fool mistake, but if I reopen any of my wounds, my doctor may simply stitch me up with a burlap like a sack-doll, so I ought to be careful." He chuckled a little, clearly wearing a little, himself. He would be the first to admit that he wasn't in full form, and he doubted the Captain was, either. They had proved the point, that was the necessity. The battle was short, but illustrative. "Shall we switch?"

" Of course," agreed the Captain. "Wouldn't want to get an earful from the doctor and much less displease her Majesty by being the one responsible in completing your transformation from man to hessian." They switched places, and the Captain was trying to prepare himself for Hans swordsmanship as the one charging, he knew the younger man was far more experienced in swordplay than he and the only he could really do was try to stand his ground as best he could for as long as he could manage.

"I'm tempted to say you think far too much of her Majesty's opinion of me." Hans pointed out. The first time he said it, it was an amusing aside. Now he was beginning to wonder what exactly their reputation in the castle was. "You're not implying anything, are you? About Her Majesty or I?" He seemed genuinely thrown by that idea. It took him a moment to think about that, before he began his assault. He started easy, throwing a few attacks, defending a few others. Then as he got back into the rhythm, he took his own message-- Press in. He stepped into the Captain's personal space, ignoring the lines, shoving the other's sword away to get as close as humanly possible. He was also not above throwing in an elbow or a knee. Swordsmanship was one thing, but in close combat, a dagger was more useful, and an elbow would do in the meanwhile. Again, he didn't do it painfully, he was illustrating a point. His goal was not to hurt the Captain, nor to disarm him, but simply to push him out. That was the advice that he gave to the Arendelle guards-- push forward.

"Not at all, I'm not implying anything," the Captain retorted, stern shake of the head. "Just indicating the Queen's compassion, and that it wouldn't look good on my behalf as her Guard's Captain if I mistreat an already injured man." The Captain was just calling it like he saw it, Elsa clearly cared about the Prince's well-being that was undeniable, he wasn't insinuating anything about their relationship, he would never presumptuously speak ill of the Queen.

The Captain had not expected Hans to get up so close and personal in his combat, he was finding it quite difficult to continue to roll with the punches. Hans was good at using him as a dummy to demonstrate the tactic.

"Oh good, I might've been a little thrown, then." Hans teased gently, sounding much less bothered now. "My brother Eduard was always much better at this tactic," He admitted, even slipping past the Captain, only to turn and hook his throat with an arm. Harmless, no blade contact, but enough to halt the defense. "But he was good at getting into men's personal spaces for much different reasons." He let the insinuation be playfully scandalous for the men to ponder over. He twisted to kick the Captain's leg out from under him and bring them both down-- though Hans came down on his knee, and grunted a bit as his wound moved painfully. "Ah, and there's where my doctor yells at me." He huffed, cringing at the pain he inflicted upon himself. The landing for the Captain would have been softer, all on the grass, nothing contorted or twisted, just uncomfortable.

"Alright then, well done, Captain." He stood back up, though struggling a little with his wound, and offered a hand to help the other up just the same. "Now then, lessons: See how far we moved?" He gestured down at the ground. "I gave the Captain no choice but to retreat, by getting into his personal space. It limited my opportunities, but I am familiar with one of my favorite rules of swordplay: Swords alone are for duels. Wars are won by teeth and pommels, sand in the eyes and dirty tricks. Use your elbows, use your knees, use your god-given wits before you lose them. Hell, use your head if you fancy it's hard enough. Watch your environment, know your opponent. Are they chatty? Wounded? Favoring their left? Do they excel at power or balance? Lord, I think I'm done with demonstrations for the afternoon." He laughed somewhat painfully and used his sword to pick up his cane, to use that. "Don't let me catch any of you using a sword as a cane either, wood or no. Else I'll teach you what a sword is for the way we do in the Isles." He huffed a little, leaning on it. He really needed to be more cautious.

The Captain took his hand and stood up quickly, not wanting to weigh him down. "We might have been a bit too ambitious. How about we --and I mostly mean you-- don't do anymore physical demonstrations ey, Westergaard? At least until you manage to heal that up well enough not to damage it again, lest you wish to keep the injury there indefinitely. I'll handle the physical training myself until you're up to the mark, you shouldn't worry about anything other than writing up guidance or giving out orders before that time comes. Don't worry I'll be as rigorous as you intend to be, can't cut them any slack. Got to give it our all from the set about else they're bound to rout later, once you're finally ready to train them for real. You might be in charge of retraining, but it's still my job to command the troops."

Hans chuckled dryly. "Ah, but it's just not as fun for me." He joked. "A little pain never stopped me from a damn thing, but you are right, her Majesty would be vexed by me hurting myself, so I'd best not do that again for a bit. I wasn't really planning to do that, to be frank I was expecting the written test to take longer." He glanced at the sky to check the time. He didn't exactly have a watch, as a prisoner. "I'm just showing my pains now so you'll keep me honest." Why else would he? Pain was useless to him. "I'll see about writing up some simple physical fitness goals and exercises for you to train them with. I may start borrowing men periodically to speak to them about these tests, get to know a few." He looked over at the men pensively.

"So then, that, my dear boys, is what we call a Pyrrhic victory, something I'm quite prone to. Is a win still a win when you've lost as much as you've gained? That's a philosophical subject for you to decide. For me, as long as whatever I do improves the chances of her Majesty surviving another raid, I'll take my pains and be glad about it. Pain just means I'm still alive enough to suffer it, but maybe that's just a philosophy one gets with twelve older brothers. So, what do we think of me? Hm? Am I good enough to train her Majesty's guards after my wound is properly healed?" He wanted to see, was the murmuring and skepticism still there? Had he won them over? Or were there yet holdouts who hated him? They were the ones he wanted to speak with first and longest.

The men all silently looked at once another for a moment. Then some voices started to spark from the crowd.

"Yeah!"

"For Arendelle!"

The voices all got louder and echoed among the men, they all seemed rather animated, cheering and raising their fists in a sign of support, if there were still any embittered people among them they surely didn't seem to stand out anymore.

Hans seemed, not just surprised, but genuinely touched. In a way, it was bittersweet. They believed him so readily, they genuinely thought he wanted to help Arendelle. And, he did. But god, how did they believe it? What had he done to deserve that same loyalty that he got from his crew.

He fixed his usual confident look to his face, with a wry smile. "Excellent. Keep that spirit, men. And do come to visit me if you want to talk about anything. God knows I'm bored, healing. I'll take these papers, and leave you to it, returning to my... room?" He looked at the Captain, almost raising an eyebrow. "I'll be perfectly honest... I'm still not used to not calling it a cell." Did that say more about him, or what he was used to?

"Anyway, I should be off, before I do some other demonstration and accidentally kill myself." He laughed dryly. In truth, he was leaving so he could get to his room and try not to cry again, this time with, what, relief? It was a good feeling, whatever it was. Bittersweet.

#Helsa #Iceburns #Hans x Elsa #Frozen #Fanfiction #frozen fanfiction #fanfic #Shattered Reflections

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momijis-sunglasses · 5 years

Text

so in my post-first-two-episodes-of-furuba glow, I went home and watched the first episode of the 2001 anime again.

hoo boy.

it was FASCINATING.

it’s definitely become a little more common for the same story to receive multiple adaptations. but here we have two first episodes that cover the exact same chapter in the manga, end on the same story hook, and even have plenty of similar shots. but the overall impression and tone is incredibly different between the two. and it’s so revealing for why i’m optimistic about the new anime and have big issues with the 2001 adaptation.

SPOILERS

-the 2019 anime has the huge benefit of knowing the entire story. starting out with a flashback to the bond first being created between god and the animals is a great idea. it gets a hint of the supernatural in there early for new viewers, and it’s giving you a visual metaphor (the ropes aka literal bonds) of one of the key themes of the series. the new anime is being made with the awareness of the rest of the series, and that’ll improve things so much. they’re already really teasing the hat, and even kyo’s beads. it’s nothing too overt, just little nudges at the viewer that serve as a fun thing for existing fans and ways to tease the mystery for new fans.

-the scene where Tohru first finds the house and meets Shigure have very, very similar scripts between both versions. and I wish I had the new version in front of me right now because I can’t provide specific examples of why this is -- but I was left with a much more natural impression from the new version. the directing is just better. I think the 2001 anime has the problem of being too abrupt constantly. it’s like nothing’s given room to breathe. in the new anime, there’s a really nice transition into a flashback (lots of flashbacks in this episode haha) using the wind chime at Shigure’s to one at Tohru and Kyoko’s apartment. and actually going into the apartment gives the whole flashback a better sense of place. this is also where it starts being really apparent how much more static the old anime is. i do think they generally did the best with what they had, but there are more pans over still frames and the characters expressions are usually flat. the new anime is 1000% more dynamic.

-which also contributes to the comedy! there’s the same funny “what do you have in there, a dictionary?”/”two dictionaries” gag in both, but it lands better in the new anime. it’s more background chatter than anything, actually, so it feels more like incidental funny dialogue. like these people just banter and bug each other on the reg. the 2001 anime makes everything more slapstick and over the top, and 2019 tones it back to something more naturalistic. which i’m happy about, because when i think fruits basket, i think dry humor more than anything.

-also! eric vale! i’ve never blamed him for this, but his performance is sooooo much better in the new anime. he was definitely a newer voice actor (like a lot of the cast) when the 2001 anime came out, but I blame a lot of the issues I had with his performance before on the voice directing. there are so many times in the old episode where Yuki sounds straight up creepy. i don’t know if they were going for mysterious, but they didn’t get there that’s for sure. he’s more regular and a bit suave in the new one, which makes sense for this part of the story. yuki’s just like.. a huge improvement between these two versions. I always felt like the director of the 2001 anime didn’t get Yuki at all. like he thought he was actually a prince and also just wanted to make a cool character so girls would swoon and buy merch or w/e. I just want Yuki to get his due as a character, dammit!

-if you haven’t watched the original in a while and have hulu or netflix, fire that shit up because the transition to school is sooooo bad. first the prince yuki fanclub and their weird chant thing... and then uo and hana’s introduction is also super abrupt and we’re just firing through these scenes real fast. the new one has the same events happen, but again, it’s more natural. no weird chant! the prince yuki club has just cornered tohru in a hallway and are berating her. a boy even walks past and is like, “yikes, bullying.” because it totally is! the timing on uo and hana to the rescue is a lot better. and i think because of that, it allows the comedy more time to develop so that’s it’s actually funny and not just confusing. also all three of them feel more like comfortable friends. like we’re witnessing their usual dynamic. since the 2001 director was always going for comedy, it almost feels more like an interrogation in the old version.

-THIS! CHANGE! IS SO IMPORTANT! so the 2001 anime races through tohru telling us why she’s living in a tent. lightspeed. we have time for the prince yuki fan club chant, but we can’t spend too much time establishing the drama of the situation. in the 2001 anime, we transition to a literal slideshow basically recreating panels from the manga while tohru monologues over it about how her mom died in an accident but she wound up with her grandpa and he asks her to go live with a friend for a while. we all know the story. the new anime, on the other hand, transitions to an actual flashback, not a still image, of tohru as a kid balancing a checkbook while she explains how her dad passed away and her mom had a tough time all by herself. it’s really sad! and it’s so much more effective to show her as an actual kid worrying about money stuff and making dinner. they also showed a heap of blood instead of a car hitting a wall to represent kyoko’s death, which... woof. and then we get an actual scene of her grandpa asking her if she can stay with a friend. which, again, gives us more time to actually feel the situation she’s in. but also works so well because he phrases it as an option for her. he says he’s worried she won’t be comfortable stuffed into a small house with a ton of people so she might be happier staying elsewhere for a while. and then tohru, OF COURSE, takes that consideration and goes to live in a tent. the transition (which is different between the two) to tohru cleaning up a storm at her job was also a moment of genuine, sweet comedy.

-yuki talking to tohru on the way home is kind of interesting, since the two adaptations treat it in kind of opposite ways? in the 2001 anime there’s that ~mysterious~ music while he tells her random zodiac facts and then silent tension (which I actually quite like) when he gives her that enigmatic “it’s not that i don’t like all cats” look. in the new one it’s a more normal conversation? like they’re just chatting. and then it turns when she realizes there’s something more to it and the music got pretty intense and there’s A Moment. i think it’s less outright sinister in the new one. seriously, i’m waiting for 2001 yuki to start monologuing about his master plan to take over the earth any time.

-shigure laughing at tohru’s tent is straight up funnier in the new one. the timing is better. also his continued laughter and yuki’s little “oh you’re done now?” was really well handled. that joke falls flat in the old version.

-and i don’t know how they do it because, again, these episodes have the same runtime and cover the same material, but this whole scene definitely feels like it takes it’s more time in the new anime. it’s not overstaying it’s welcome or anything. it’s punchy and funny and i loved seeing the characters play off each other. but even shigure opening the door to reveal the gross kitchen is given more of a beat to it, so you have a second to laugh. and him hearing the dog howling isn’t the most awkward thing you’ve seen anymore.

-since we’ve had more time to understand tohru’s situation and even her mom (kyoko is finally allowed to be herself and not Cliche Dead Mom!) through flashbacks in the new anime, tohru clawing at the dirt to get the picture of her mom is actually pretty heart-wrenching. you get it more. everything she has in the world is in that tent and she doesn’t have anything but pictures to remember her mom by. this is what i’m so excited about in the new anime. if you give more time to build motivations and drama, because you understand that’s important to storytelling, then the emotional parts will hit that much harder

-tohru telling shigure about the day her mom died! I've always loved this scene, because it's one of the few times Tohru actually opens up to someone (who's not Kyo :P)about feeling crappy. amazing what a fever can do. these two scenes are so interesting, because they're actually really similar. we get the exact same info, and some of the shots of tohru lying on the futon are basically identical. but once again, the 2001 anime does a lot more telling us what happened. some shots are obvious budget-saving measures, like an extended shot of the paper wall/door with tree shadows waving. (what room are they supposed to be in?? for some reason, I always thought that was the kitchen) (actually the reason was all the rats are behind that door) (you KNOW there are rats in that kitchen) the 2019 anime, on the other hand, goes back to those old reliable flashbacks. we get a repeated (and longer) shot of kyoko going out the door, and you realize as the scene goes on and tohru explains she didn't even wake up to see her leave that morning, that it's an imagined scene or a memory of another day. which is... oof. make me feel all those feelings, please. we also get more actual kyoko dialogue, which is always a good thing.

-I also love yuki showing up after she's fallen asleep, having overheard anything, and saying he could've left the sohma compound to live in a tent. uh, I mean, I love it in the manga and the new anime. I won't put this on the original production staff and more on the original English dub, but oh boy is yuki kind of petulant and whiny in that scene. he sounds very petty and jealous and I don't like it. he's definitely envious of her to a degree (and beating up on himself), but he's also pretty in awe I think. ANYWAY I felt the new dub fixed this, so I wasn't like, what's your problem, dude?

-yuki and the rats is still weird lol (honestly being able to "communicate" with their animal is dropped so damn fast in the manga. I only like it for the payoff of the birds running away from kureno.)

-actually, one of the only things I prefer in the 2001 anime is tohru waking up to her mom's photo right next to the futon. I love the idea of yuki setting it up there real quietly while she sleeps, knowing it's the thing she was most worried about. so cute! but one point for the new dub: i'm assuming tohru says "oka-san" when she wakes up. since it's three syllables and zoomed in on her mouth they've changed(?) it to "I miss you" in English and just stab me right through the heart why don't you!!

-it seems like everyone's saying this, but that staircase scene! it's not even really a scene. but I love it! a cramped little switchback-y staircase. this show is making me feel like i'm IN shigure's house. it's also shot cool, and the reveal of kyo in the tree is great. I love that it's not pointed out so obviously, and he's just there. (it'd be hard to miss him though)

-then of course we end on kyo jumping through the whole damn roof (he really blasts through it in 2019 haha) and everyone turning into animals. no huge differences, but I want to fast forward a little to talk about kyo. jerry jewell may be the member of the returning cast who sounds the most "similar" to his old rendition of the character, HOWEVER. there's a huge change in acting and vocal direction. it might seem like a small change, but it's not! it's really big! in the 2001 anime he jumps through that roof and says a punny line (it would take kyo 6 months to come up with that lbr) and rah-rah rages through the next few episodes when he's not acting sheepish. now he sounds much less like he's just angry and more like he BLURTS things. a thought comes into his head and BLURT it's out of his mouth. because of the increased range in emotional expression on all their faces, we can see that he seriously feels guilty and conflicted about being mean to tohru. like there is some depth there to be mined. it's so much more obvious that the people around him can easily push him to the point of blowing up, and that he doesn't feel in control of himself. I give major props to the animation team, the anime director, and the dub director (I would trust Caitlin Glass with my actual life at this point) for pulling this off. because it seems subtle! but it really is a big difference!

I used to be a pretty staunch believer that we DID NOT need another anime adaptation of fruits basket. I know a lot of people wanted it, but I really never did. I love the manga so much, and think it's masterfully done. after the original anime, I didn't want more of it. mostly, because I didn't trust anyone to do it right. a lot of the changes made by the original anime may seem "small" to many people, but what makes furuba so great to me IS all those tiny nuances. change a tiny detail, and you may have changed the whole feel of a scene or an important interaction. the manga is pretty quiet, for most of it's run. little moments build up to create a big, beautiful tapestry. so I was happy reading my manga over again and not worrying about anyone else ever touching it to bring it to moving color.

so i'd say I was likely to be a harsh judge. and I was really, REALLY impressed with what they accomplished. i'm sure there'll be some decision I disagree with later. they'll cut some scene I love or i'll disagree with the emphasis on something somewhere. but they've really built up a lot of goodwill with me. I LOVED watching these characters on screen and seeing them interact. seeing them all eat around the table together felt like coming home. like settling down for another furuba reread.

and it's all the stuff above that made me feel that way. seemingly little tiny details and differences. again, we're talking about the exact same story! it's told with almost the same lines and the same characters and many of the same jokes. but it really felt different, because of small changes. and a much better understanding of what furuba is.

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket spoilers #furuba spoilers #text #a mountain of text i can't be stopped

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the-magic-lava-lamp · 5 years

Text

The Great Suburban Showdown

Summary: What is Padmé supposed to do when her husband of 15 years leaves her because he’s in love with a man? And not just a man, a close friend.

(For the purpose of this story, Obi-Wan & Padmé are the same age, 42. Anakin is 38. And the twins are 15.)

Ships: Obikin, Skysolo

Word Count: 3,225

Chapter: 5 - Looking for Space.

A small glass of perfume sat on a dresser. It was the small and delicate glass with a large daisy stopper blocking any leakage.

It sat there, absolutely still, as a pair of hands quickly picked and pulled from the array of products sat around it. But with that speed came clumsiness and the hands just darted to fast on the pull-back of some lipstick and down came the bottle. Knocking it off the counter and revealing the ring of dust that had been living underneath it.

Padmé paused for a moment before peeking over the lip of the dresser to find the tiny bottle. The rounded broken piece was rolling just the slightest bit while the rest of the tiny shards bathed in the small puddle of the scent leaking out.

Anakin had given that perfume to as a small Mother’s Day gift when the twins were around nine. Kneeling down, she intended to start cleaning the mess up but she hesitated. The tip of her finger laid frozen in the burgundy puddle as a wave of emotion fell upon her. She’d been holding back on truly coming to terms with what her mind and body ached for. But looking at the old shattered gift on her hardwood floor...the gate was opened without her permission.

A flood of tears finally broke past her eyes and rolled down her cheeks, the heat from her previous restrain could almost burn her skin. In an instant she was near hysterical. Her breathing was rapid and short as it became harder for her to push-back the devastation. More then anything in her life she wanted to call Anakin...she wanted him with her. But at the same time she was desperate to shove him away entirely.

The palm of her hand curled over her mouth in an attempt to block some of the sound from breaching the thin walls of their home. She did not want the twins to her any bit of this breakdown, they didn’t need to see their mother so...sad. It would just be too hard for them and they didn’t need anymore stress so she just needed to be strong, she was usually extremely good at that. It was enough that she’d broken down when Anakin had given them the news. There’d be nothing more now.

A deep breath or two and she was off the floor and on her way to collect the dust-pan and broom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rain was coming down hard and banging against the bedroom window with loud pops. But it was nothing compared to the storm in Leia’s eyes. Luke felt a sense of dread as he crossed the white carpet towards the chest against the wall. The room was dead silent as he sat and swung his bare-feet just a few inches above the soft floor, teasing static-shocks tickled his skin.

Part of him was glad that he could finally sit and talk with his sister about everything but another part was just hoping for it to be over quickly. Deep down he knew they just weren’t on the same wavelength for the first time in their lives and talking about it would just bring that all to light.

Leia turned in her chair, arm resting on the back as a cool stormy breeze came in from her open window. “So what have you been thinking?”

That was a let-down. He’d been hoping for Leia to go into her own troubles first so that he’d have time to think about what he wanted to say. He swiped his finger across the worry lines in his forehead and thought about his laughing fit with Han. “I’ve been...-You know, I’ve been wondering how Dad’s been doing.” He couldn’t bare to look up to see Leia’s reaction.

“I don’t know how you always manage to do that.” She whispered and played with some loose thread on her sleeve.

“What?” Luke blinked as his sister straightened her back and sighed.

“Make me feel like such a bad person.” She shook her head and turned away for a moment or two, looking out her window.

Luke felt a flash of guilt that wanted to turn itself into anger just for the sake of being defensive but he quickly shut that down before it even had the chance to start. “Why do you say that?”

“You just have this way of....-” She paused and it was easy to tell she was having more than just a difficult time explaining her thoughts (the kind of thoughts that Luke expected she’d been holding back for years). “You’re so level-headed. I just can’t be that. Right now, I'm so mad at dad that I-” she stopped again and looked down to collect herself. She was a bit like their mother in that way, never wanting to let her guard down in-front of her family.

“I don’t want to see him...like at all.” She shrugged. Luke nodded because he’d expected that from her. He knew her too well not to. “I feel like there’s nothing he could say to me right now that would make me want to...and I feel really bad about that but at the same time-” She swallowed. “I’m just so mad at him.”

“That’s a normal reaction, Leia. I know we definitely aren’t experts on a situation like this but that much I can say for sure.” Luke’s eyes were soft and wide and it only served to piss his sister off even more...but at herself rather than her brother.

“God, Luke you’re so calm about all of this. I feel like-...like I could explode from how stressed and angry I am.” She stood and started pacing her floor. “I’m too much like dad. I hate that.”

That comment stung Luke a little. The way she said it with such resentment well, it hurt him just the same way it would hurt their father to hear. “That can be a good thing, Leia.” He spoke softly with an earnest voice. Leia stopped pacing for a second to look at him.

“Maybe it can be. But right now, I don’t feel like it is.” She shrugged and Luke tried to keep the hurt from showing on his face. “It probably doesn’t help that my relationship with dad has already been...rocky lately.” She sat back down.

That was true and it was something that had been brewing through the family for some time now. The two of them could easily fall into fights and it was sometimes difficult for Luke or his mother to understand. But it wasn’t hard to tell that it was a little painful for the two of them. It just came down to the fact that his sister and his father were so similar that it caused them to butt heads constantly. They were both quite impulsive and...angry.

Luke could almost hear those past shouts in his head again from that specific summer where they just couldn’t get on the same page. The relief off school release and joy from fresh green grass was nearly ruined by the fights.

“You’ve always been more sympathetic to dad so I can see why this is bothering you.” Leia frowned.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Just that...you’re so close to dad. The two of you get each other. I feel like I never had that with him.” She picked once more at a loose thread and Luke felt something drop in his stomach. It felt like more of his life was crumbling to pieces, more problems that he didn’t even know existed were coming to light. Sure, he knew they fought but he never know just how much it hurt his sister.

“Leia-”

“Never mind. I just wanted to see how you were feeling.” Her hand waved in the air in an attempt to dismiss him and Luke felt defeated. He rubbed behind his ear and thought it best to just leave Leia to herself. But as he stood he couldn’t help but feel as if he was abandoning her. “How have you really been feeling?” she added quickly before Luke could see himself out.

‘Overwhelmed’ was on his mind and the tip of his tongue but he restrained himself. He wished to unload much of his stress to her, just to get it off his chest. Maybe even tell her what he’d yet to tell anyone in his family but he didn’t want to give her anything more to stress over so he held back. “Drained but...it’ll get better soon.” He nodded and Leia seemed dissatisfied with that answer but accepted it nonetheless.

“I’ve also been meaning to ask you something else!” Leia suddenly looked highly amused and it was a refreshing change so Luke welcomed whatever tease was coming his way. He leaned against her wall, arms crossed. “That party we went to...” She trailed off with a smile and Luke was suddenly very, very nervous. “You disappeared for a bit and the next day, before everything went down, you were very happy.” She looked mischievous and though he knew she was way too perceptive to miss such a detail, he had hoped she’d forgotten amidst the drama.

“Oh yeah, I was talking to Wedge. He surprisingly had the time to tease me about showing up to an actual party.” He shrugged and Leia looked at him with her eyebrows raised in the air but she quickly gave it up. But he knew that she was onto him.

“Alright...well I’ll see ya later, buddy.” She smiled, half-hearted at best and Luke made his way out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anakin was especially good at making himself look smaller. Sometimes, when Obi-Wan looked at him it was hard not to just take the man into his arms. When Anakin was upset, he felt it deep within himself just the same. One of the worst parts of this whole mess was having to witness such emotions from the man he loved.

Anakin was leaning with his back against the couch to better feel the warmth from the sun-spot coming through Obi-Wan’s window and it was a breathtaking image. Golden sun-rays threaded through his hair and glazed his entire body and there was a peace there that was soothing. As he admired all that it was and all that he would miss, it occurred to him that maybe the man needed to actually hear some of that love that was on his mind.

“Anakin?”

Long brown hair flicked behind him as the man craned his neck to get a look at Obi-Wan. He smiled with a tenderness that hadn’t been around in a few weeks. In fact; the last time he recalled seeing that look was when Anakin had found Obi-Wan’s old Barry Manilow greatest hits record just a week before everything went down. He’d put it on with the intention to tease but instead found something lovely in the way ‘Can’t Smile Without You’ had changed the mood, mostly Obi-Wan’s. Anakin couldn’t quite stop teasing him and his laughter had just become uncontrollable. It felt like ages since he’d last heard the man laugh like that or felt the delightful vibrations of it when they kissed. There was a hidden red wine stain on his carpet that always reminded him of that evening.

He felt the weight of their situation fall upon his shoulders again. But for once it was refreshing to greet it because he knew Anakin was feeling it too and it would only draw them closer together in this moment of self-pity.

“You have something to say, old man?” He shuffled upwards to plop right down on the cushion next to his partner and smirked. Obi-Wan just melted.

“I can never tell if you’re brooding or just day-dreaming...” He waved his hand out slightly towards the air of where Anakin had been sitting. “The facial expression is always the same for both.”

“You always look bored.” He retorted and Obi-Wan scoffed with offense. “Unless, of course, you’re thinking about me. How could I miss the way your eyebrow twitches whenever your thoughts turn...dirty.” He sighed with clear pleasure and dramatics. He got a smack in the arm for that.

After a moment of laughter, they fizzled into silence. Comments like that couldn’t truly be pulled off anymore. After having to face the consequences of what their relationship truly was...it just felt gross.

“How are you feeling, dear one?”

“I think we’ve been through this before, Obi-Wan.” He shut that question down with amazing speed. “I’d rather not have our relationship just become one big therapy session, you know?” His eyes narrowed with the white-hot anger that was so purely Anakin.

Complete silence was never complimentary to his apartment, it made it seem a lot smaller and annoying. But maybe it was actually that it wasn’t complementary to them. A big part of their relationship was the way they could talk to each other. Hours upon hours spent in conversation and not that boring chit-chat kind. No. It always meant something. Even their arguments were long and drawn out with no breaks for air. That was just how they clicked.

It’s when things got silent...that’s when it was bad. They were mad or upset enough that they didn’t dare want to open their mouths and risk saying something they’d regret-

“I don’t think my relationship with Padmé is the only relationship that I ruined.” Anakin’s shoulders rolled back from letting go of such a heavy sentiment. He usually did break their silences.

There was intense anger instantly but even Obi-Wan had to admit...there was truth to it. He opened his mouth to reply-maybe argue-but Anakin was already doing something he was really good at. Flying off before he had to deal with the consequences.

The door slammed shut behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Padmé was trying to enjoy the beautiful sunny Sunday before the dread of work tomorrow and he dishes were keeping her delightfully busy. At times like this, she almost felt like nothing had happened and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

But most of her initial anger had subsided. She just wasn’t the type of person to hold onto anger. Level-headed, that’s what her mother called her ever since she was a young girl and it was something that just came naturally to her.

She ran her fingers through her hair and felt that sinking depression in her chest. The kind that only lasts a second or two before you flash back...feeling as if you might’ve just made it up. A plate dropped gently back into the sink and her eyes landed on the drain. She stared down into it with an intensity that would seem odd if her mind wasn’t somewhere else entirely.

“Mom?”

“Leia!” The smiled that took over her face was beautiful and full of relief. Though she’d nearly jumped into the air from shock. She giggled lightly after her minor scare and Leia fell into a laugh too.

“I just wanted to ask if you wanted to get some breakfast?” Her daughter smiled with so much love, eyes that mirrored her fathers in a lot of ways. Maybe not in color but...so much more.

“I would love to. Why don’t you go ask your brother if he’d like to come and I’ll finish up here?” She gestured to the plates and Leia nodded, taking off up the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luke darted down the stairs when he heard the bell ring without really thinking it through. His mother and Leia had gone off for a breakfast which he decided against, just to give Leia some time with her alone. And he was left to think himself to death.

He swung the door open and had to hold back an actual gasp. “Han!” He pulled his sweatshirt down a little instinctively as the man looked him up and down. “What are you doing here? I told you that I didn’t want you to meet anyone yet.”

Han laughed. “I know. But is it that weird for you to just have a friend over-? Are you wearing pants?” He dragged his eyes down Luke’s exposed legs and the man rolled his eyes but shifted nervously anyway.

“Yes. I’m wearing pants...shorts, this is just long...-anyway” Luke waved his hands about after pulling on his sweatshirt once more and tried to ignore Han’s chuckles. “Why are you here?”

Han shrugged, standing back a little and smirked. “Dunno. Was driving around and I thought you might wanna do something. You said it was boring around here and hey, I can make anything exciting.” He was attempting to look passive about it but Luke could read people very well. Han’s eyebrow twitched nervously.

“I think you mean annoying.”

The way Luke huffed playfully and popped his leg out a touch made Han’s heart stop for a second but he was an expert at playing these things off- “So um, should I be tellin’ your family that I’m just your really attractive friend or...?” He looked over Luke’s shoulder to see if he could spot the guy’s sister.

“You’re lucky no ones home-”

“Is that why you’re walking around without any pants on?” Han asked as he glanced in every direction of the home when Luke finally allowed him inside.

Luke whipped around and smacked his arm. “Shut-up, will you?” He restrained his giggle and narrowed his eyes but Han was enjoying it. He turned, maybe to smack him again, but he took a shy turn. As soon as they made eye contact Luke felt his cheeks turn rosy and he looked down. He couldn’t see Han’s face but the man was helplessly admiring him.

Han coughed into his hand. “So you wanna do something or what?”

Luke tilted his head as an idea popped into his head. “You mind doing me a big favor?”

“I’m not too crazy about favors, kid.” He crossed his arms, leaning back on the railing of the staircase.

Luke titled his chin down, smirking at his floor and shrugged. He paired that with a soft sigh before looking up and sadly batting his eye-lashes. “Oh come on, just this one...for me?” He reached out and took Han’s hand, patting it between his own while he bounced a little on his feet.

‘I’m really in for it with this kid, aren’t I?’ Han quietly thought to himself as he rolled his eyes and put on a passive face. “Alright fine.”

Luke grinned. “That was quick. Was nearly ready to start fake crying.” He teased and Han’s eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me you can cry on the spot, kid...?” He wagged his finger and the blonde smirked, nodding his head.

“Oh yeah I can. One of my many talents.” He laughed, not thinking much of it at all.

But Han was silently hoping he’d never actually perform that talent. He was already proving to be kind of weak when it came to Luke and if there was crying involved...‘Shit. He really was in for it.’ “Just spit it out before I change my mind, will ya?”

“I want to go see my dad and I need you to drive me there.”

#is this chapter bad??#let me know your thoughts #pleaseeeeee #Skysolo #obikin #star wars #Star Wars Trilogy #star wars prequels #Anakin Skywalker #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Padme Amidala #leia organa #Luke Skywalker #Han Solo #Star Wars fanfic #my fanfiction #title is a john denver song!!

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mymostimaginaryfriend · 5 years

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QOTS 4x08 Reaction Post

The Good News: This episode bounced back. The Bad News: Teresa shared one line and 10 seconds of screen time with another female character.

First things first, this episode was at least 10 times better than last week so WHEW. In fact, other than the RIDICULOUS UNFORGIVABLE stat I mentioned in the intro, there was even some positive action taken addressing my list of mid-season concerns:

Teresa finally got involved with the Tony and Pote drama and it resulted in a powerful scene between Teresa and Tony. (Gonna ignore the general ickiness of “your dad got himself killed with his choices” to focus on Teresa’s blaming Guero breakthrough. Love that for her.)

There were some moral quandaries introduced for Teresa to start pushing the boundaries of her Queenpin line in the sand. She was able to avoid innocent collateral damage this episode, but for how much longer?

There was even a Jeresa parallel with Pote telling Kelly Anne he didn’t deserve her love (!!!!) and this great exchange:

Pote: I’m also a murderer. Kelly Anne: Well, so am I. Me: *chin hands* ROMANCE.

Like Teresa, Pote had a lot more to work with than usual this episode and Hemky freaking ran with it. Just think what it could be like if they didn’t turn Pote into Cartel Yoda every week? He was hilarious and badass with Ishmael---who I literally typed, “dammit I actually like this dude?” less than five minutes before his death so....still got it, baby!

[Sidenote: whoever chooses the mid-commercial preview clips at the network stays picking the WORST spoilers available every episode! When James does return I feel like we’ll learn about it in a commercial break first lmao.]

Speaking of commercial breaks I was seriously ticking them by with: 10 minutes without two women sharing a scene. 20 minutes. 30 minutes? 40 MINUTES?! We have ten minutes left are you freaking kidding----Oh wait. 10:57pm Teresa says one line to Kelly Anne to which KA doesn’t even verbally respond. DO BETTER, SHOW.

Which brings us to Javier. You sure are cute but WOW you are a spectacular failure. Has he done anything successfully this season besides bet on the right rooster in 4x01? Remember how irritating last week was when Eddie inexplicably made it through the entire episode without discovering any of Teresa’s secrets? This week it’s Javier SOMEHOW making it through the hour without fessing up about Rene. There’s drawing shit out and then drawing shit OUT. (An issue across the board this season TBH--can we get some forward movement please?)

It is maddening to have a character who has witnessed Teresa using her beautiful brain to get out of worse scenarios, acknowledge that Teresa could figure something out if she had all the pertinent info he’s been withholding, PLAN to tell her and somehow manage to squander multiple opportunities to come clean. It gets even worse when Javier fails his redemption assassination attempt (lol only this show) and puts Teresa in even worse danger! IMO the reveal is well past it’s “good by” date and, like with Eddie, I cannot enjoy Teresa "bonding" with Javier while there’s this huge lie between them.

I did like Javier and Detective Greene playing off each other though. I thought it was great that Javier refused to blame an innocent man for his crime only for the man to die anyway making the point moot (foreshadowing for Teresa next week perhaps?). I mean, yay for your morals in this highly specific inconvenient instance I guess. Never mind that the body count for Javier’s Rene mistake is now at EIGHT haha.

During hiatus I speculated we could have a play on the Camila/James/Teresa split loyalty dynamic with Teresa/Javier/Boaz and I wish they’d focus more on that rather than a half-assed parallel between Eddie and Emilia. IMO Javier’s scenes are strongest with Boaz so I’m hopeful it’s something they will explore even if the setup hasn’t been as strong as it could have been.

As for Boaz, I swear one of the highlights of the episode for me was the loud as hell tinkling noise of all Boaz’s jewelry shifting when he sat up mid-massage lol. The man loves his crystals okay? I wonder if he will surprise us all and rescue his familia and if that means Javier, Emilia or both.

Finally, I loved Teresa putting the Judge to work, Marcel proving Teresa wasn’t the only one who had learned a lesson from their war, and a special repeat mention to Teresa and her legendary empathy talking to Tony by the pool. I’ve missed scenes like that so much this season. Now if only Teresa and Kelly Anne could have a few cathartic conversations too. Kinda hard for them to reconcile with no lines, writers---and NO that is not a challenge.

Looks like Teresa and Tony get their cardio in next week as several vengeful chickens come home to roost. Hopefully El Gallo finally proves himself useful too.

#queen of the south #qots #qots spoilers #qots season 4 #qots s4 e8 #my reaction posts #txt post #sure would be cool if this showed up in tags tumblr

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just-homo-thingsxd · 5 years

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Reconnection. Pt2 (Endeavor X Male Reader.)

You lived out your days working as a waiter/bartender at a fairly high end restuarant. The Hook, Brine, and Shimper. The charm you feigned and easy going attitude drew the attention of an interested restaurant owner. You obviously weren't known for being the strongest, but when it came to wits and cleverness you had that on lock easily as #1. Today was a work day as any other.

"(Y/N)!! I have great news!!"

The restaurant owner approached you rather quickly and very obviously excited.

"What is it boss?"

"I just got off the phone with the number 2 hero Endeavor and he's going to be coming by for our food. He didn't want to be mobbed or anything that's why he called ahead of time."

That knot you wish you didnt have to experience whenever you hear his name came back in full force. The owner noticed this as your face turned flushed a bit and your eyes fell to the floor.

"Are you alright? I know it's a lot to take in but you're my best waiter, and if he has a good time and recommends this place it would be amazing for business! Not to mention I'll throw in an extra for you since you would have to stay later. Hell, if you make him happy I'll kiss you man, anything you want."

Letting out a soft chuckle you did your best to fake a smile. Something that was too common.

"I-ill do it. I can't promise anything though. I've heard he's... difficult."

In his excitement he didn't notice the emphasis you put on difficult.

"Awesome! Thank you so, so much, it means a lot to me, (Y/N)."

As time drew closer you became more and more anxious. You kept trying to remind yourself. No matter what, be confident, and professional. If he brings up the past it's different. You must not, think of your boss, he's relying on you. Don't let him down.

Your boss stood outside when the bulking mass approached the building. He's so huge now. He was big at U.A, but now he's huge. His face hadn't changed much. He still had that same determinated gaze in his eyes.

"Welcome, Endeavor. I'm the one you spoke with on the phone. The restaurant owner, and this fella right here will be your server tonight. (Y/N) if you would."

"Hello, Mr. Todoroki. Welcome to the Hook, Brine, and Shrimper. The finest restaurant in the area. I hope you find your stay a pleasant one, and whatever you need please let me know if I can help you."

You did a bow and after a moment straightened yourself up. The look on his face was, different. He seemed he was happy, but who knows honestly. His expression softened at least.

"Thank you, (Y/N). I'm sure I'll enjoy this visit. I've heard only good things about this place, and about you. You're quite well known in this place."

"Well that's a relief. You humble me with your words, and I appreciate your kindness Mr. Todoroki."

"Please, Enji or Endeavor is fine."

"Of course, my apologies. Enji, if you'll follow me I will lead you to your seat."

He nodded and you turned and lead the way. Your nerves were so on edge. It felt to you, at least, like there was a lot of tension in the air. Who knows? Maybe he was completely oblivious and forgot about you. That would be better.

"Here you are."

You inclined your head towards the booth and he sat. Placing a menu on the table once he was comfortable.

"May I start you off with a drink?"

"A water is fine for now."

"Are you sure? It might evaporate before you even get to take a sip."

"Heh. You got that right."

"It'll be right out for you."

He took a look at the menu and you stepped away towards the soda fountain and was immediately approached by one of your nosy co-workers. Sarah propped herself up by her arms and chuckled

"Well, well. Look at you getting to serve the number 2 hero. Think he likes you?"

"Hah. You're funny. No, he doesn't. We have a history together. Not a good ending. I'm not even sure if he remembers me."

"Yeesh. I'm sorry to open up that wound. Still if you really want I could always take over."

"No. The boss entrusted this to me. I'll manage."

With that you filled up the glass with water and walked it back to Endeavor.

"Here you go, sorry about the wait. There was a line back there."

"It's no problem. Say, I have a question for you."

"What can I help you with?"

"Would you be willing to talk when you're off the clock? I.... wanted to apologize formally."

You took a step back and looked to the ground. So he did remember.... did he come here knowing that there was a chance you'd be working? He can apologize all he wants but he'll never understand the pain you've endured these years from him. Regardless. It might be the closure you need.

After a moment of thought. You looked to him and gave a faint smile.

"Sure, but more importantly. What can I get you to eat tonight? You're favorite food is Kuzumochi still, right?"

His eyes widened a bit as he smiled softly, and letting out a scoff.

"You still remember that, huh?"

"Of course I do we're.... we were classmates."

He looked down at the table, it almost seemed like he was sad.

"Yeah, we were."

"Any specific way you want it prepared, sir?"

"I'll take it as it comes."

"Sounds good, it'll be right out."

He didn't give a response, which was his way of ending a conversation. Without stalling you head back and told the chef what to prepare and who it was for.

When the same annoying employee grabbed at your shoulders.

"Seems you were speechless, what'd he say that was so wild? Give me the details."

"He wants to talk. After all this time. When I'm off the clock. I'm already here past what I was supposed to be. So that means.... soon."

She could tell you were quite uneasy about this. She was good at reading moods and people alike.

"You seem bothered. You said you had a history together. Wouldn't you be happy that he wants to reconnect?"

"It didnt end well. It's going to be the same now. He's too stubborn to change."

She took a step back.

"Once again, sorry for asking. I figured you just got in a little scrap and that was that but it seems a bit more involved. On your end primarily."

"What does that mean?"

You said jokingly

"You're the only one who's upset about reconnecting with him. If he didnt want to he wouldn't. You're the one that's bothered, so you're still hanging on to the past, right?"

Damn her. How could she be so perceptive?

"I never got any closure. Of course I'm still hanging on to the past."

"Then get it when you talk later. Simple as that."

With that said the food was ready to be served. You took it out to him and gracefully presented it to him while putting the plate down.

"Here you are, sir. Need another water? It seems half of it did evaporate."

"I suppose it did. Another one would be nice."

"Right away."

Filling another glass with water your back was flicked and there was Sarah.

"If you get laid let me know."

"WHAT?"

You covered your mouth and broke down to a whisper

"Why would you say that? whatever thought is in your head I need it to leave and visit the shadow realm. it doesn't belong on this earth."

"Someones a drama queen. Isn't he waiting for that water you've overfilled that's currently all over your hand?"

You got so distracted by what she said you didnt even notice it.

"I hate you."

"No you don't. I'll be waiting for the details."

Gah. Sometimes she's annoying.

After getting a new glass and drying your hand you brought it out to Endeavor.

"You sounded surprised, everything alright?"

Of course he heard that. Who didn't?

"Yeah, I'm sorry. My friend told me something loaded very abruptly. I was taken aback that's for sure. I hope you still enjoy your meal. Need anything else?"

"No thank you, I'm sure I'll enjoy this it looks amazing."

You stepped away and sat in the break room for a few minutes. Anxiety and sadness was growing as more time passed. After all this time he wants to talk now? Who does he think he is...? Tch. Whatever. You stood up and took a deep breath and marched back out there.

"How was it, Satisfactory?"

"Yes, very much so. It was all gone before I noticed."

"Hah, I see that."

"When are you off the clock?"

"Whenever you're finished. The boss asked me to stay for you."

"Really, and you did?"

"I didnt want to let him down. Besides. He offered me some extra money for staying."

"I..I see. Well I'm finished, so I'll head to the front and pay. Unless.. you wanted to walk together?"

"I need to grab my bag and keys but I'll be up there shortly."

He simply nodded and started towards the entrance. Shortly after you met him up there. The boss was also up there talking to him, he seemed happy at least. Endeavor caught you out of the corner of his eye and turned towards you.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"Well sir, it's been a wonderful experience here. (Y/N) certainly made it better, so be sure to treat him well. He deserves it."

"Endeavor that's not-"

'Of course Endeavor I make sure all my staff are well taken care of, but by your request I will certainly pay extra attention to him.

"Then I will be sure to recommend this place to everyone that I know. Maybe even a public statement. I don't do those often."

"That would be wonderful! Thank you both so much. I'll see you around."

With that the owner stepped away and you were now left with Endeavor.

"You didnt have to say that to him, but I appreciate it."

"It's the least I can do, now, let's go. Follow me."

Endeavor lead the way outside to the car that would drive them. The driver was an older man with a fancy looking top hat. He took a step out of the vehicle and bowed slightly.

"So you're the company Mr. Todoroki has spoken so highly of. The one he wanted to make amen-"

"That's enough, I can do the explaining. I appreciate you being so open with your schedule. Leonard."

"Heheh, you act like I get much business these days. You treat me like royalty in comparison to others. Anyway, are you two lovebirds getting in?"

There was a silence as Endeavors flames soared up, he surprisingly remained silent with a bit lip. You were shocked and embarrassed, bashfully you got in the back behind the driver. Endeavor got in the back with you. It gave you a perspective of just how huge this man was. He took up one and quarter of a seat. You're sure that if he wasn't so tense it would be half of a seat.

"Would you be alright coming to my residence tonight? I can drop you off at your home later."

"Yeah, that's fine, Endeavor."

"Leonard, if you will."

"Yeah yeah, I heard ya two back there."

Maybe it was just you but that lovebird comment still felt up in the air. It felt very awkward at least on your end.

"So, Y/N, you single? You look like quite the catch."

The heat got a little more intense.

"What kind of question is that Leonard? Do you ask all your clients that?"

"I asked you and him didnt I? You're both quite reserved around each other eh?"

"Leonard, with all do respect. It's been years since we've seen each other. It's still shocking to see him again. I thought I never would, not in person at least."

You spoke the truth. There was no point in lying at this point.

"Ah I see. Maybe I jumped to conclusions, my apologies. We're only about 3 minutes away from the Todoroki estate so you won't deal with my nagging that much longer."

You got a slight chuckle from that. The heat had died down now, it seemed Endeavor had cooled off a bit.

The 3 minutes flew and before you knew it you were outside a very large, Japanese style home. It appeared to have two floors. It seemed quite excessive for only him. Though with how active of a hero he is it wouldn't be that surprising of the money he has. Of course he could love comfortably and how he wanted.

"Well this is your stop you two. Try not to have too much fun y'hear?"

You smiled and chuckled once again.

"Thank you Leonard, you're a very nice man."

"Thanks, Leonard."

"Yeah yeah, get outta my car now."

After you both got out Leonard drove off and now you were entirely alone with Endeavor. You turned to face him and looked into his eyes for a moment before speaking.

"Want to go inside and talk? No point in doing it out here."

"Mmm. Sure, if you could, leave your shoes at the door. You can wait for me in the main room, I'll make us some tea."

With a nod he walked off quickly. You obliged to his rule which you did yourself anyway. It saved carpets if you just took off your shoes at the door so you adopted that tradition. You kneeled down on the cushion in front of the table and finally let your body relax a bit. Your shoulders had become so stiff because of today.

Thinking back on it, today was crazy. You got a crazy offer from your boss, took the offer then had to cater for someone you hadn't seen in a long time and now you're in his house alone with him.

Needless to say you're a bit tense.

"Heres the tea, and I brought you something else."

He laid down the tea and held up a traditionalish kimono. He too had changed into one. It resembled more of a robe, but it was a bit more tight and revealing of the legs. A hybrid between the two it seemed. He switched out of his hero costume and without the tight clothing you could still see he was thick all over. His arm, chest, thighs, legs. Everything about him.

You caught yourself staring and quickly took it from him and stood up.

"I'd be honored! Where's your restroom?"

He pointed to a door on the right side of the room.

"Through there first door on the left. Help yourself to whatever you need."

"Thank you."

You quickly trotted off towards the rest room. Once you were clear and alone you quickly switched and did your best to calm down in the lower half. Those feelings tugged at you. You still weren't over what happened, but more importantly you still cared for him deeply. Your erection could've easily been caused by his body, but it felt more like your body was yearning for him. The more you stared the more feelings came back. The excitement you had from being friends with him and seeing him every day.. not that he cares.. nothings changed, he's just saying sorry for himself. But maybe that's what you need. To hear there's no possibility he'll be anything to you. Maybe the honest truth will help you move on.

The hybrid clothing was easy enough to get on, and after letting yourself settle and splashing your face with water you came back out. He was looking down at the table with the cup of tea in his hand. He looked over to you for a moment then back to the table.

"My apologies for making you wait. I'm quite tired so I had to splash my face a bit."

"That's alright. Are you sure you want to chat? I can just drop you off now if you'd like."

"Huh? Endeavor this was your idea. You said you wanted to apologize. After all these years I couldn't just say no to an old friend, could I?"

"Is that the only reason you came with me?"

"No. I want to have an end to our chapter. It's been on hiatus for far too long. Endeavor. I'll be frank, it still hurts me the way it left off."

"You're... still hurt by that? All this time I've been hurting you?"

You were taken by surprise at what he said. It made you stop and think for a moment.

"Yes. I have been. I wanted nothing more than a best friend Enji. I told you my home life and nobody would be around a weakling like me. I was all alone. You were my light at my darkest times. You had such drive and tenacity. It was infectious. It helped me when I needed it most."

He sat a for a moment and his tea began to bubble.

"I'm... awful. I didn't think I meant anything to you. I thought you just wanted to be my friend to use me.. it happened so often when I was younger.. people are evil, but you're not. I can't believe I turned you away. You were right, being personable was a huge part of being a hero. I was so blinded by my desire to be number 1 I ignored you. I was stupid to think with how things ended between us that I could just mend things with you with a 'I'm sorry.'"

"I wouldn't have come with you if I didnt want to mend things and lend go Enji. I'll always care for you. Though, it might take me awhile to actually forgive you. I understand your actions though."

"You'll always care for me? Do you even hear yourself.. I don't deserve your care."

"Well get used to it. My feelings of compassion towards you haven't gone away yet, and I doubt they will."

He placed down his cup of tea and stood up. He walked over to you and looked down. He lowered his head and shut his eyes.

"I know its sudden, but I feel things can change between us. I owe it to you, after all this time. Will you forgive me?"

You stood up and did what felt natural. You brought him into a tight hug. His body tensed up, but after a moment his large arms wrapped around you and his hands met your back. He rested his cheek on the side of your head.

"Of course I forgive you, but I still need time to process this, okay?"

"I understand. Thank you, Y/N for still being my friend."

"No problem, Enji, you're my best friend. That won't change easily."

"Best friend? Hmm.. I think that describes you perfectly."

With a smile and soft blush the pain that had eaten away at your heart subsided. The past is the past, it still hurts, but you knew with time and patience the pain would cease to be. You could finally be happy, you definitely were in his arms.

#fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #todoroki enji #endeavor #malexmale #male reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha

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