#not counting the 2 times i threw up while still drunk

[autistic-katara]

who rhe fuck invented hangovers i just wannf talk

[nimaanila]

Slow Down, Cowboy (Part 3)

Paring: Billy the Kid (Tom Blyth) x reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Mentions of violence, blood, injury, some angst and suggestive phrasing, and LOTS of fluff!!!

Synopsis: Billy gets injured in a fight. Reader is there to take care of him.

A/N: Part 3!! There will be one more part after this! Veeeery fluffy. I loved writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it. Thank you!! Please leave me requests on what to write next 🥰

Part 1: Here; Part 2: Here

Part 3: Touch Starved

You and Billy promised to see each other tomorrow, like every night. Only tomorrow had come and you hadn’t seen him.

The later and later it got, the more and more you looked at the door every time you heard the bell ring, and even when it didn’t. You tried to quiet the worrying in the back of your mind, but it nagged at you all night while you were working. You tried asking Billy’s gang if they knew where he was, only to get shrugs and murmurs of “Not sure, ma’am.”

You had closed up the saloon like normal and headed upstairs to your bedroom to get some shut eye. There were some perks of living just above the saloon: no commute, rent paid for itself. There were some drawbacks too, like living in a public building that everyone knew the location of. It had never been a problem before.

Just as you had settled in to bed to sleep, you heard someone banging on the door downstairs.

You didn’t get up until you heard the banging several more times, the knocks getting closer and closer together, the person landing them becoming increasingly impatient. This had never happened before, your safety never threatened by a stranger for as long as you’d worked in and lived above the saloon. No one knew you lived above the bar. No one except… Billy!

You leaped out of bed, throwing a thin robe over your satin nightgown and lighting a candle to take downstairs with you. You galloped down the stairs, setting the candle on the bar as you strode over to the door and unlocked it as quickly as you could. Billy was standing in the dark with his head hung low, shivering from the cold.

“Billy! Where on earth have you been?! Get in here, it’s freezing!” You grabbed his wrist, tugging him inside. You didn’t notice it while you looked for passersby, but Billy winced in pain after you threw him inside. You locked the door with a quick flick and ran around the saloon, shutting all the blinds for some privacy, leaving only the light from your candle to illuminate the space around you and Billy.

“I was wonderin’ where you were all night. Scared me half to death showin’ up now, but I’m glad to see you, anyway,” you said to Billy, walking around the bar to get him a drink. It was just habit at this point.

The only sound being made was that of you pouring the light amber liquid into the bottom heavy glass. When Billy didn’t say anything, you grew even more worried. He was quiet, sure, but not with you. He stood where you had left him, in the middle of the saloon surrounded by empty chairs and bare tables, not making a sound, his eyes on the floor. You walked around to face him, drink in hand, setting it on the table next to you.

“Billy? Everything all right?” He still wouldn’t make eye contact with you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and worry, gently reaching out to place your thumb and forefinger under Billy’s chin, slowly lifting his face to force his eyes to finally meet yours. Although there was next to no lighting, as you looked at him, there was no way you could miss his busted lip, a cut above his eye that was still bleeding, and that same eye threatening to bruise black and purple. You gasped in shock. “Oh Billy, what happened?” Again, Billy only offered you silence. You let out a troubled sigh. “Here, let me clean you up.”

You grabbed his hand and led him closer to the bar, sitting him down in a chair while you rounded the counter to grab supplies. Drunk patrons were regularly getting injured as they sank further and further into their cups over the long hours of the night, so you always had the necessities on hand. Namely iodine, gauze, bandages, and of course, plenty of alcohol to sterilize wounds. You also made up a bowl of warm water and fetched a clean rag before you turned your attention back to Billy. You set the supplies you gathered up onto the counter and made your way over to Billy, bringing the candlelight with you to get a better look at him.

You gasped again as you brought the light closer to his face. He looked worse than your initial assessment led you to believe. Wasting no more time, you began to work, first using the rag and warm water to clean the wounds as best as you could, trying not to make it hurt any more than it already did. You gently dabbed at the cut on Billy’s lip, removing the dried blood and revealing a faint slice in his bottom lip. It should heal without worry. It was a different story when it came to the cut above Billy’s eye. He noticeably winced when you started to clean it. “I’m sorry, darlin’. This is a nasty one.” You spoke sweetly as you worked. “It’s okay,” Billy said softly.

You prompted him to tell you what happened. “Now, are you gonna tell me how you ended up like this or are you gonna keep a lady wonderin’, who you also left waitin’?” There was a whisper of a smile on your lips as you asked Billy to tell you what happened, using a soft tone but one that conveyed to him that you needed an answer. Billy met your eyes and gave you a half smile, nodding as he said, “Once you’ve cleaned me up, I will. You look so pretty, I just don’t wanna miss anything.” Billy said shyly, his gaze traveling all across your face and down your body.

You quickly realized how under dressed you were for the occasion, the thin material of your nightgown and robe leaving little to the imagination. Your long wavy hair was not in its usual ponytail, which is how Billy always saw you. You blushed remembering this fact as well as realizing you didn’t have any undergarments on. You swallowed the butterflies swarming in your throat and nodded your head, paying attention to his wounds. You had cleaned up all of the fresh blood with warm water and moved to sterilizing the wounds. “If that’s what you want. But this is gonna sting,” you cautioned Billy, motioning to the clear vodka and dry rag you were planning to use. Billy looked at the vodka and then at you, nodding his head before taking his bottom lip under his teeth to brace for the pain.

When the alcohol hit his lip, Billy hissed but could tolerate it. You then began to address the cut above his eye, which continued to bleed. He yelped and banged his fist on the table. You moved quickly and gently so as to not prolong the pain for him. “I’m sorry! There, all done.” You put the dirty rags, water, and alcohol back on the counter before assessing his wounds again. Billy’s eyes searched your face while you examined the damage. Your hair had fallen into your face while you tended to his wounds, a long strand of wavy hair covering your eye and caressing your cheek. Billy tentatively reaching out to tuck the hair back behind your ear. You blushed, meeting his eyes and thanking him before turning your attention back to the cut above his eye.

“This one is gonna need stitches, I’m afraid,” you told him. “But I can’t bend down like this anymore. Here, stand up.” Billy did as he was told, standing up and turning around, watching you as you moved behind the bar again to get more supplies. You pulled out a makeshift suture kit, made up of a sewing needle and thick wire-like material along with some clean alcohol, and more gauze.

“Help me up onto the counter, would ya?” You asked Billy. He tilted his head to the side, confusion coloring his stare. “Since you’re so freakin’ tall, I figure I could sit up here while you stand and I stitch you up. That ok?” You asked him innocently. Billy nodded and gulped, hesitant to move closer to you. His hands moved to slowly grip your waist and hoist you up onto the counter with ease. “Thank you, cowboy. Much better.” You gave him a smile which he returned. “My pleasure, ma’am.” His gaze then dropped, and regretfully so, because in the process of placing you onto the counter, your night gown had ridden up slightly to reveal the soft skin above your knees. Billy cursed under his breath when he also noticed that your robe had dropped off your shoulder, too, leaving only a thin strap of satin.

You set up your tools to stitch the wound and turned your attention back to him. He was standing too far away. “Well, how am I supposed to stitch you up with you all the way over there? Come here, I don’t bite.” Billy hesitantly took a few steps towards you, seeming bashful all of a sudden. You remembered your lack of clothing compared to his and blushed again. Deciding to fully embrace the circumstances of the situation rather than hide, you grabbed one of his belt loops and gently tugged him closer to where you sat on the counter. Your legs were spread apart slightly so he could stand between them, your nightgown hiking up even more to reveal even more soft skin of your thighs as you did so. It took all of Billy’s strength to keep his hands to himself. Contemplating what to do with them for a moment, he settled on resting his hands on the counter on either side of your thighs, his thumbs threatening to play with the lacy edges of your night gown.

“That’s better. Now, look at me and tell me what happened,” you asked softly as you began to work on stitching him up. Billy recounted the story as best as he could in between winces from the stitches and being distracted by your beauty. His eyes traveling everywhere: your eyes, nose, lips, collarbones, hair. Every part of you looked so soft. He wanted to run his fingertips over it all. He had never seen a woman so beautiful, so innocent and wanted to commit everything he observed to memory.

“The guys and I went on a usual outin’, only this one wasn’t in our favor. It got ugly real fast. Most of the guys made it out without a scratch. I was just about to leave when one of those farmers said he knows you. Said he comes in here as much as I do, lookin’ for you. Said some disgustin’ things about you that made my blood boil. I wasn’t thinkin’. I saw red and ran at him. He got in a few good punches and got me with his knife before I knocked him out. Came right over here so I could protect you, if he tried anythin’, that damn son of a bitch.”

By the time Billy had finished his story, he had become so passionate that his jaw was clenched and he was gripping your thigh. You had finished stitching him up and dabbed some iodine on the wound, covering it with gauze. Satisfied wjth your work, you put your tools down and placed your hand over his that was digging into your thigh. Now having realized what he was doing as he told his story, he immediately released you, jerking his hand back and dropping his gaze to his feet. “I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was so mad when I heard him talkin’. Guess I got mad again just tellin’ you.”

You shook your head at him, moving both of your hands to cup his face and bring his eyes up to meet yours. You ran your thumbs across his cheekbones in a soothing manner. “Billy, I’m sorry that I got you into this. No more fightin’ guys over me, you hear?” Billy looked at you incredulously. He held your wrists as he stared into your eyes. “How can I not? You are the most beautiful, kind, smart woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowin’. Too pure for this earth. And I’ll be damned if I let another man talk about you like that. Especially to me. You hear?” You couldn’t help but chuckle has he used your own words against you. “I can’t argue with that,” you told him. “Good,” he said, smiling at you. He reached out to run his fingers through the ends of your hair, which ran all the way down to your lower back. His hand brushed against your waist before settling back down on the counter again.

You mustered up the courage to ask him a question you had been wondering all night. “Why are you afraid to touch my body, Billy?” You asked him plainly, searching his eyes and only being met with shyness and adoration. Billy was taken aback by your question. “I guess I just didn’t want you thinkin’ I was takin’ advantage of you, sittin’ here and lookin’ all pretty like that. A gentleman never assumes that a lady wants to be touched by him.” Billy’s consideration made your heart soar. You smiled, shaking your head in disbelief at the kindness in his heart. You reached out to grab his hands, placing them around your waist. Billy let them rest there, but you could feel that he was still hesitant. He wasn’t getting the message, bless his heart.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him as close to you as the bar counter would allow. Staring into his eyes, you confessed, “Billy, the only person I want to touch me is you.” And you kissed him.

[persevereforahappyending]

He Hung Up

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: “Ooh,” you said excited, jumping up from the couch. You reached out making a grabby hand already. “Give me the phone, I’m great at pissing people off.”

Warnings: Violent Threats

Word Count: 3k

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

You and your friends trudged up the many many steps to the Carpenter sister’s apartment. You were at a party with your girlfriend and her friends when a drunk frat guy decided to get a little handsy. Luckily for you or more like lucky for him Sam showed up. Sam tasing him was generous because if you had gotten your hands on him for what he was about to do with Tara you would have beaten the shit out of him.

Sam also showing up meant Tara had been caught. Meaning you were now all in trouble for going to the party. Chad and his roommate Ethan took up the rear, while Mindy and her girlfriend Anika, held hands giggling and walking as close together as they could get as if they were in their own little world. You were in front of them while your girlfriend and her sister led the way, arguing, like usual.

You had been holding Tara’s hand, but she really liked gesturing wildly when she got into it with Sam, so she eventually dropped your hand. You tried intervening a few times but after Sam stopped, turning her furious glare onto you, you quickly shut your mouth and dropped your eyes to the ground. Sam wasn’t the biggest fan of you already and as much as you wanted to stick up for your girlfriend, even though you agreed with her sister to an extent, you didn’t want to add any more reasons for Sam to hate you. You knew Tara didn’t care about Sam’s opinions when it came to you, but you still wanted the older Carpenter to like you, at this point you were grasping at anything to win you points.

When you got to the apartment you all piled in, you and Anika dropping onto the couch, Ethan shuffling himself into a chair off to the side. Sam quickly locked the several locks on the door before moving into the kitchen with the other three. You could hear the core four as Chad had stupidly nicknamed them all whisper arguing about the night’s events. Quinn slipped out of her room after hearing the commotion you all must have been making and plopped herself down in the other chair.

Your eyes had drifted to the TV that Anika had turned on though she kept the volume muted. You weren’t paying attention until you noticed it wasn’t just a normal boring news report.

“Hey guys,” you shouted getting the others’ attention. “You need to see this.” You reached for the remote, turning up the volume as the others re-entered the room.

Everyone was silent as the story played. Some college students were killed and a Ghostface mask was left at the scene.

“Oh, hey it’s those weird guys from class,” you commented when the news threw up a picture of the two students who were killed. “That one,” you pointed to the picture that had the name Jason under it, “is the creepy one that always stares at you.” You turned to give Tara a I told you so look.

“He didn’t stare at me,” Tara weakly defended.

“He paid more attention to you than to the class.”

“How would you know?” Tara raised a brow. “Unless you weren’t paying attention either.”

“I’m your girlfriend,” you put a hand to your heart. “When I stare at you it’s adorable.”

Tara didn’t say anything more, she just playfully rolled her eyes.

Tara had turned her attention back to the TV, but you couldn’t take your eyes off her. The class you shared with the weird Jason kid was where you first met Tara. She sat next to you and despite it being the first day you were completely unprepared, you had asked her to borrow a pen then ten seconds later asked for a sheet of paper.

After that first class you slowly started trying to talk to her during quiet moments of class or if you were lucky and she got there early enough before class. You could listen to her all day discuss the deeper meaning of her ‘elevated’ horror movies.

You were sitting in the very spot you were now on her couch a few months ago. You had come over to Tara’s place to work on a paper for class, she was hesitant because her sister didn’t like unknown guests, but she said since her sister would be at therapy it would be fine. And you were fine, quietly working on your paper, stealing subtle glances at Tara.

You had been crushing on her hard since you first saw her but didn’t have the courage to do anything about it. With her history you weren’t sure she wanted anything more than friendship. During one of your subtle glances though you caught Tara openly staring at you. You dropped your pen, turning with the intention to ask if everything was okay when she leaned forward, grabbing you by the back of the head and pulling you into a kiss.

You instantly reciprocated the kiss, turning your body to fully face her. You brought up both of your hands, running them through her hair. You could feel her smile into the kiss as she pulled you closer, deepening the kiss even more.

You broke away, lightly laughing when you needed air. You shyly looked at Tara, despite the fact that you had just been making you, you saw her wearing the same smile as you.

“Sorry,” she said. “I waited so long, and it didn’t seem like you were ever going to make a move.”

You silently laughed, nodding before pulling her in for another kiss. You repositioned so you were kneeling on the couch, Tara doing the same. She started to slip your jacket off, neither of you breaking the kiss. You were both so caught up you didn’t hear the door open. You didn’t break apart until someone angrily cleared their throat, followed by a loud door slam.

You both jumped apart. You pulled your jacket back on, clearing your throat as if you hadn’t just been caught doing what you were about to do. You glanced towards the door to see Tara’s sister fuming.

“Sam,” Tara said, trying to sound casual. “You’re home early. How was therapy?”

You didn’t move, you didn’t say anything, you couldn’t take your eyes off of Sam. You had just been making out with Tara and now her sister was home and blocking your only path out. She hadn’t acknowledged her sister in any way, she just continued to glare at you.

“Get out,” is the only thing Sam said.

You quickly shot to your feet, throwing your stuff into your bag, and swinging the strap over one shoulder, not bothering to zip the bag up. You turned to Tara, smiled, and gave a thumbs up, then quickly scurried out of the apartment as Sam stepped out of the way, opening the door for you. You didn’t turn back but you could feel Sam’s burning gaze in the back of your skull. She hadn’t stopped glaring at you to this day.

You were brought back to the present when you heard Tara gasp and saw her eyes widen. You turned back to the TV and saw it.

“Holy shit,” you said, leaning forward to make sure you were seeing correctly. “That’s our film studies professor.”

The news reporter continued, saying how your professor was found stabbed to death in an alley. Then went on to say that the knife used was found in Jason’s apartment with his prints on it.

“Damn, I guess class is cancelled next week,” you said. You turned to say something else, but Tara was giving you a deadpanned look while Sam was once again glaring at you. You really needed to learn to shut up sometimes.

“We’re leaving, pack your stuff,” Sam announced, breaking her silence for the first time.

“Wait, what?” Tara asked. “We don’t even know if this has anything to do with us. It’s Halloween, there are thousands of people dressed up.” Tara tried to find any excuse to not leave. She turned back to you with a worried look. “Quinn!” she quickly turned to her roommate. “Call your dad, see what he knows.”

Quinn nodded, pulling out her phone. Before Quinn could start the call though another phone rang. Everyone in the room froze. All heads turned to Sam as she fished out her phone from her back pocket.

Tara moved closer to her sister, looking down at the phone. They both just stared at it in Sam’s hand as it continued to ring, no one moving to answer it.

“Ooh,” you said excited, jumping up from the couch. You reached out making a grabby hand already. “Give me the phone, I’m great at pissing people off.”

“That’s for damn sure,” Sam mumbled. You pouted but took the phone. She didn’t hand it to you, but she made no move to stop you.

“Hello?” you asked, a smile playing at your lips.

There was heavy breathing on the other end before, “You’re not Samantha.”

“No, sorry, she can’t come to the phone right now. May I take a message?”

“Put Samantha on the phone. I want to play a game with her.”

“Really?” you scrunched up your nose, looking towards Sam. “Have you met her? She’s not much fun.” Sam glared at you. “However, I’m much more fun. I love playing games, especially with her sister.” You winked at Tara who switched to glaring at you as well. You smiled, trying to keep in your laugh.

“Give Samantha the phone or my knife will find a home in your heart.”

“Sorry, my heart is already taken.” You winked at Tara again. She stopped glaring at you but only to roll her eyes at your antics.

“Don’t worry I’ll make sure to carve it out and deliver it her.”

“Well, I have always said the best presents come from the heart.”

“Stupid girl, do you have any idea who you’re talking to?”

“Let’s see, late night phone call, death threats, ominous creepy sounding voice,” you mumbled off. You tilted your head as if you were thinking really hard about who could possibly be on the phone.

“You really have a death wish, don’t you child?”

“Wait wait wait,” you said excitedly. “Wait, am I talking to the one and only Ghostface?” You paused, furrowing your brow as your eyes left the group of friends and drifted up to the ceiling in thought. “Well technically there’s usually two of you and technically you’re like the,” you started silently counting, using your fingers to keep track, “the tenth one? Whatever, anyway, it’s an honor.”

“I will gut you,” Ghostface growled out.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Can I make a request about my death?” You turned to your friends who were watching you with curious looks, waiting to see what you’d do next. “Just make sure I suffer. I don’t want to go out easy.” You started pacing, your friends now going from curious to concerned. Even Sam seemed concerned, it brought a small smile to your face, maybe this was how you won her over.

“My knife will carve out your insides.”

“Oh my god,” you whispered shyly. “Who told you I was into knife play?”

You turned back to your friends when you heard a cough only to see Chad choking on his water. Mindy was smacking her brother on the back to help him out. He seemed to be trying to keep the water in his mouth through the coughing, but he was clearly failing as the water finally sprayed out of his mouth. You rolled your eyes as Chad doubled over in a coughing fit. Sam and Tara ignored him as they continued to watch you.

“Has anyone ever told you how irritating you are?” Ghostface asked. He was using a voice changer, but you could swear he sounded tired.

“I’m an acquired taste,” you said. You shot your girlfriend a glare as you caught her nodding in agreement. She stopped when she caught your glaring, smiling innocently and mouthing ‘love you’. “Now for my death,” you continued, getting back to the important stuff. “Remember, slow and painful. I’m not just some side character.” You spun around pointing your finger even though you weren’t facing Ghostface. Though when you thought about it, he was probably watching you. “I’m not just some character that’s written off with a quick death. No, I’m the memorable bitch. I might not be the main but I’m the death you remember, you feel me?”

There was a long silence as you waited for his response. Your friends all leaned closer waiting for what would happen next even though they could only hear your side of the conversation. You furrowed your eyebrows when it had been over twenty seconds of silence.

“Hello? Hello?” you asked, pulling the phone away from your ear to look at the screen. “Hmm,” you hummed, tilting your head at the blank screen. “He hung up.”

You sighed, shaking your head as you turned back to your friends. You held out your hand, handing the phone back to Sam as you saw the shocked expressions of your friends. Everyone was staring at you wide eyed and mouths agape.

“So, does this mean I won or that I’m gonna die even more horribly than originally planned?” You asked. You raised your eyebrows waiting for a response as they continued to stare at you.

“You got Ghostface to hang up on you,” Mindy said in disbelief.

You shrugged. “I just have a way with some people.”

“Okay, I think it’s time we called it a night,” Sam said, pushing off from the dining table she had been leaning against.

“Can Y/N stay the night?” Tara asked, coming to stand by you.

You smiled as Tara wrapped her arms around your mid-section. You quickly put an arm around her, you would never turn down a hug and potential cuddles. You looked up at Sam with a smile. Sam shot you a tired glare, but you kept the smile on.

“Tara,” Sam groaned. “One phone call doesn’t mean I like her.”

You lost your smile, pouting at the older Carpenter. You had thought you did pretty good with the phone call. You had actually kind of enjoyed it, minus all the death threats you got.

“But she’s in danger now,” Tara argued. “If we send her back to her dorm alone then Ghostface can attack her and after that phone call he’s going to kill her horribly and painfully.”

“Wait what?” You asked, you head going back and forth between your girlfriend and her sister.

Sam tilted her head, raising her eyebrows slightly. Her head bounced around as she seemed to debate Tara’s words. You swallowed, gripping Tara a little tighter as you pulled her closer to you. You knew Sam wasn’t the biggest fan of you, but you didn’t think when it came down to your life that it was actually up for debate.

“Sam!” Tara snapped when it seemed like Sam had started to lean more towards sending you on your way.

Sam sighed, rolling her eyes. She had a small smile on her face, a smile she tended to only reserve for Tara when she was messing with her. “Alright, fine,” Sam said. “She can stay the night.” Sam lost her smile as she turned her attention back to you. She slowly made her way closer, glaring at you without blinking. “No funny business,” she pointed her finger threateningly at you. “Or I will throw you out.”

You nodded your head rapidly, letting out a small sigh of relief. Sam smiled sweetly as she turned away from you to face the others, but you could still see the lingering threat in her eyes. You shifted, tightening your grip on Tara again. She looked up at you smiling and despite just being threatened by her sister you couldn’t help but smile back. You were excited to be able to cuddle your girlfriend all night without the worries of waking up early to sneak out.

“Do you guys want to stay as well?” Sam asked the rest of the group.

“Nah, we’re good,” Chad said.

Sam nodded and walked them to the door. Chad and Ethan left, followed by Mindy and Anika who were wrapped up in a hug. Sam instantly got to locking the various locks on the door. Quinn pushed off her chair and went to her room with only a wave as a goodnight.

“Wait,” you said, causing Sam and Tara to look at you. “How much danger am I actually in?”

Sam rolled her eyes. “I’m going to bed,” is all she said. She walked past you and Tara and made her way to her room. “Goodnight!” she called out, giving a final wave of her hand before you heard the room to her door close.

“But seriously, am I next?” you shrieked, leaning back to look Tara in the eye.

Tara bobbed her head back and forth, opening her mouth to say, “Well-”

“Oh god!”

“Baby don’t worry,” Tara placed a hand on your chest in an attempt to comfort you. “I’ll protect you. For now,” she moved out of your embrace, moving her hand down until she could intertwine it with yours. “Let’s enjoy this rare occasion of you not having to sneak out and go cuddle.”

You succeeded in your goal to piss off Ghostface it seemed. Your life was in even more danger than it was before by just dating Tara, Sam willingly allowing you to stay the night at the apartment confirmed that. Though you were reasonably terrified of your potentially upcoming death you couldn’t focus on that. The girl you were crazy about was standing before you and asking you to cuddle. You wordlessly nodded, allowing her to drag you to her room. You would never deny her after all.

[venus-haze]

Love Is a Ring on the Telephone (Homelander x Reader)

Summary: When work calls you away from New York, Homelander can’t bear how much he misses you.

Note: Gender neutral reader and no descriptors are used. This fic is fluffy (and shorter than what I usually write) but still a little dark, and takes place vaguely during season 2. Inspired by Bruce Springsteen’s and Patti Smith’s versions of Because the Night (I actually got inspired for a few fics based on various lines in the song). Do not interact if you are under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Some possessive behavior and emotional manipulation (it’s Homelander). Do not interact if you’re under 18.

Homelander stared at the calendar taped to the wall in a desperate hope that he could somehow will time to race forward, and you’d be back home. He missed you terribly, spending the past few nights in your shoebox apartment he had yet to convince you to move out of. It was too cramped and loud for his liking, between your neighbors and the street noise, but he hadn’t realized how attached he’d become to it until you were gone. 

He went as far as pulling on one of your sweatshirts to sleep in, just because it still smelled like you. It was only day two of your five day business trip to a conference in Los Angeles, but each day without you felt like a week that dragged on endlessly. He’d been on bullshit missions from Vought that went longer, ones where he couldn’t even contact you until he returned, his insides shredded to bloody mush at the lingering anxiety that maybe in his absence, you found someone else.

From the moment he stepped into the disgustingly crowded airport with you, a melancholy swept over him. He offered to fly you to your hotel in LA himself, frustrated when you decided to do things the pedestrian way. At least his presence allowed you to skip the security line that stretched all the way back to the bag check as he graciously took selfies with each TSA agent. After all, you couldn’t be a threat if you were with The Homelander of all people. 

He would’ve gone with you, if it weren’t for the ‘Dawn of the Seven’ promotions that Ashley couldn’t get him out of. She nearly threw up while breaking the bad news to him, and he could hear her heart racing even as she practically sprinted down the hallway after he dismissed her. Reluctantly, he stayed behind while you went away, gritting his teeth through every interview and guest appearance. Having been paraded around plenty of Vought conferences himself, he knew damn well plenty of people used them as an excuse to get drunk and fuck around without their significant others’ knowledge.

He huffed, turning away from the calendar and practically rolling his eyes at himself. You’d proven time and time again that he could trust you, that you were the one for him. Still, his self-assurance did nothing to abate the sourness in his stomach, and suddenly, he’d pulled out his phone, ear pressed to the screen as the dial tone rang almost mockingly. He paced the kitchen floor, glancing at the clock on the wall. A little past one in the morning on the West Coast, but you wouldn’t mind if he woke you up.

“Baby? It’s late,” you yawned, the mundane noise making Homelander’s nerves settle slightly. “Is everything okay?”

He chewed his bottom lip, feeling like a schoolgirl calling her crush for the first time, almost instinctively reaching to play with a non-existent phone cord. There was neither pride nor shame when it came to you, only the affection and devotion that he’d spent his life longing for. Your presence soothed him, but your absence made his heart wrench in his chest. 

“Missed you,” he said softly.

“I miss you too. This conference is so boring. The people are weird, and I haven’t gotten a chance to see anything in LA.”

“What’s there to see? You’ve got a hot blond at home,” he said.

Your laughter made him feel indescribably lighter, even when it became muffled by your hand covering your mouth. 

“There aren’t palm trees in New York, smarty.”

“If you wanna see palm trees, I can think of at least five places I can take you that are nicer than LA.”

“I read that some palm trees grow in the Mediterranean, like Greece and Italy.”

“We’ll have to go one day to see, huh?”

You enthusiastically agreed, and he clung to your every word as you described your dream vacations in detail. He’d bring you everywhere, wrapped tightly in his arms from the moment he took off in New York until the two of you inevitably ended up in bed somewhere beautiful and secluded, where you could truly be alone together. 

He wondered what you’d think of moving out of the city, maybe to one of the smaller beach towns out on Long Island or somewhere more secluded in the Catskills. Either way, he’d have a commute for the first time in his life, but he could deal with a quick flight to Vought Tower if it meant waking up beside and coming home to you each day. After years of clamoring for the adoration of the masses, millions of people cheering his name and going into a frenzy in his presence paled in comparison to the sincerity in your voice and steady heartbeat whenever you told him that you loved him. 

Often, he felt like no one else knew what being in love was like, otherwise they wouldn’t make him go on asinine press tours or send you away to the opposite side of the country for a conference. Something so passionate and all-consuming as what he felt for you couldn’t be ruined by distance, and though he could listen to you talk on the phone all night, it wasn’t the same as being able to see and feel you. He’d grown far too accustomed to the warmth and gentleness of your touch, the way your eyes lit up for him and nobody else. 

A loud bang and the sound of drunk chatter outside your room interrupted your voice, and though no human could have heard the commotion so clearly, he could, and his lip curled in response. You immediately apologized, ranting about the people at the conference, most of whom you found uppity and unpleasant, finding networking with them at panels and meals more of a chore than an opportunity.

He looked at your refrigerator, colorful magnets holding up your handwritten lists and reminders, but his gaze was focused on the selfie of the two of you on your second date to the Bronx Zoo just a few months prior. You’d taken the time to get the photo printed and displayed in a spot that was domestic and sentimental, somewhere you and anyone else who entered your place could easily see. His hands suddenly felt cold in your physical absence, and a lump formed in his throat as he found himself on the verge of tears.

“If it’s such a drag, you should just leave early and come home.”

“Baby, you know I can’t—“

“I’ll take care of you,” he promised softly, the ‘from now on’ was unspoken, but from the way he could hear your breath faintly hitch over the phone, he knew you understood.

“Okay,” you whispered. “Will you come get me?”

“I’ll be there before you blink.”

“I’ll keep my eyes wide open for you.”

He smiled, letting out a soft chuckle at your words. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“That’s impossible.”

You were quiet for a moment. “Can’t I try?”

“You don’t need to try. Just being mine is enough, darling.”

Everything in his life had gone to shit so fast, but not you, never you. He’d raze cities to ash before letting you go, before possibly losing the warmth that enveloped him at the thought of you and how much you loved him. Even if he could bottle the feeling, inject it into his veins whenever he pleased, he wouldn’t, not when he had you by his side. He wasn’t sure if anyone could compare. As much as he wished he’d met you sooner, he supposed later was better than never.

You ended the phone call, your voice soft and melodic as you once again professed your love to him. He did the same before hanging up, hastily grabbing one of your sweaters from your closet. You’d always get cold while flying with him. He brought the knitwear to his nose, the scent of your fabric softener and a hint of your perfume almost making him dizzy. Wasting no more time, he left your apartment to make it to Los Angeles before you could fall back asleep.

He knew which hotel you were staying at and the room number, having texted it to him before you left. Of course, he’d memorized the details, and within half an hour was hovering outside of your eighth floor hotel room window, which you gladly opened for him. You were in your pajamas, your small suitcase packed on the bed.

“My hero!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him and pressing a playful kiss to his cheek.

Your lips on his skin made it feel like he was on fire, and he took your face in his ungloved hands, kissing you desperately as your sweater fell to the floor. Two days had suddenly transformed into a lifetime of longing and separation, and as he slipped his tongue into your open mouth, he did so with the intention of savoring you, getting as close to devouring you as he could. 

Squeezing his hips to steady yourself only encouraged him further, a groan rumbling from deep in his chest. Sometimes, you made it so hard for him to have any self-control, and in those moments he almost lamented his powers. His strength made your being with him inherently dangerous, yet despite the risks, you willingly sought out his embrace and intimacy.

“Always yours,” he muttered huskily against your lips. 

You looked at the sweater on the floor, smiling at the gesture. “Thanks.”

“Can’t have you catching pneumonia on the way home, can I?” he said as you pulled the sweater on.

You grabbed your suitcase off the bed, and he took it from you with ease, holding it in one hand, his other arm firmly around your waist. He’d flown you plenty of places before, and though you were no longer nervous like the first time he took you flying, he loved how you clung to him anyway.

[agroteraa]

The Wrath of the Stag

Chapter two (the finale)

Oliver Quick x f!Reader

My fic masterlist

Part 3.2.

Part 1: Actaeon

Part 2: Artemis

Part 3.1: The Wrath of the Stag (ch.1)

Warnings: smut, dubcon, fingering, choking, penetration sex, mentions of drugs, almost?onesided!Felix, dark!Oliver, character death, angst.

Word Count: 4K

So, you and Felix had reached the labyrinth.

Lush and blooming in daylight, it seemed hazy and darksome at night. But still, it was the same maze in which you used to love playing hide-and-seek and catch-up with Felix. You could never catch up with him, no matter how much you wanted to, which made you childishly angry, and he laughed and teased you all the time. Now it seemed somewhat symbolic to you.

"So, what did you want, can you finally say, please?" he wondered with a smile. He was already drunk enough, too, but you started sobering up a little from this long walk.

"You were right. Oliver can be weird. I thought we would talk, but he brushed me off and started dancing with one girl, then another... and then he and Venetia..."

You couldn't hold back your tears. Felix hugged you, comforting you. His warm embrace protected you from the cool air and sense of desperation. It seems as if he was covering you not only with safe arms, but also with his angelic wings.

"Hush, sweetie, hush," he said, quietly asking after a while, "...is it getting better?"

You nodded, looking up at him with tear-stained eyes.

Felix smiled slightly, gently wiping the tears from your cheek. Raising his eyebrows, he looked at you expressively, there was a pause in the air. Felix bent down and reached for your lips. You started answering without fully understanding what you were doing. All this alcohol, torn feelings, Oliver's behavior and, of course, the unrequited love for Felix buried deep inside you for several years, made you try to experience this feeling at least once. You enjoyed his warm, soft lips, hugging his shoulders, until it completely dawned on you. No, you couldn’t do that. Feelings for Felix were long in the past, and Oliver was in the present. The situation might be terrible and confusing, but at least you need to talk, and only then make such decisions as how to respond to someone's feelings or not. Especially since your feelings and thoughts now actually belonged to Oliver.

You gently pushed the guy away from you, "I'm sorry, Felix. I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I'm... thinking about Oliver now."

"What?" he couldn't believe his ears, "Are you really ready to forgive this freak, even after everything I've told you?"

"We should at least listen to his side... and besides, I have... feelings for him," you finally admitted.

"Y/N, what should we listen to? He's a liar and a creep, that's all! What feelings? Oh, don't make me upset, please. I wouldn't want you to choose anyone over me, but if it's Oliver, then it's some kind of insult even!"

He grimaced, and you got angry, "Well, then don't be offended and better choose your own friends next time. Or, as your sister says, "toys"! But it's not for you to tell me who I should or shouldn't be with!"

"Fine. Have fun then! But I assure you, Oliver is unlikely to stay here for long..." Felix threw up his arms, and in a fit of anger turned around and left the maze.

* * *

Not far from the house, he plopped down on a bench, where Farleigh approached him with some two girls. Felix moodily lit a cigarette.

"Hey, buddy, what’s with the face?"

Catton Jr. said nothing and only frowned more, rolling the cig in his lips. Farleigh gave him a drink from his bottle, and then, turning around, quietly suggested, "Coke?"

* * *

You were wiping away the remnants of tears, leaning on the statue of the Minotaur and inhaling the sobering cool air. Looking up, you met the gaze of a horned monster. Despite the intimidating appearance, his eyes were plaintive, like a gentle cow's. You always paid attention to this detail, ever since you had noticed it once as a child, it helped you stop being afraid of the statue when you were running with Felix and Venetia in the maze. Any thing or person, if you look at them closer, does not seem as intimidating as at first glance. Perhaps even worthy of pity.

A familiar horned silhouette appeared in the maze.

"Oliver? How did you..."

"How did you like the party, Y/N? It seems that you completely abandoned your birthday boy tonight," he was slowly approaching you from the darkness. Up close, Oliver looked even more amazing in this suit. You involuntarily looked him up and down, lingering with your gaze on the naked torso peeking out from under the jacket, on which again hung only one chain reflecting the light of the moon. His summer-tanned skin contrasted so well with the glaringly white suit. The pebbles creaked softly under his feet as he came up to you and gently stroked your neck. Your skin covered with goosebumps. You swallowed, pushing those thoughts aside.

"Are you kidding me now? I didn't leave you for the whole evening. And it wasn't me dancing with some random girls and Venetia."

"Oh yeah? But it wasn't me who kissed one of the Cattons this evening!" his fingers closed palpably around your throat.

"Oliver... what are you doing..." he let the grip, and you continued, "Are you crazy? Why the hell were you following us? You're really doing this, gods… Just like Felix said... "

"Said what?"

"That you were watching Venetia and me and that you... did obscene things and told him that you... liked both of us."

He narrowed his eyes, "What else did Felix tell you today?"

You frowned, "That's all," he continued to look at you silently, "That’s enough for me, isn’t it for you?"

He pinned you at the pedestal of the monument, enclosing you between his strong arms. He looked at you with unblinking, darkening eyes and asked, "So, why the hell did you kiss Felix Catton?"

"He kissed me! I've been wanting to talk to you all evening, and you brushed me off... and then you started dancing with some girl.… And then with Venetia… And that's after everything Felix told me.… He tried to comfort me, but I... refused him. I wanted to talk to you first," hot tears rolled down your cheeks again. His face seemed to soften a little.

"First of all," Oliver said, "calm down, my dear. Secondly, you don't know anything. Thirdly," he runs his thumb over your left cheek, wiping away tears," This is still not a reason to kiss someone else. I'll explain everything clearly to you now."

Without warning, he got under the hem of your dress and inserted one finger into you. You exhaled sharply.

"About the window case... yes. I was looking at you, just at you, unable to look away. I will not apologize for this, although it is a pity that Felix and, in the end, you misunderstood me because of him. But these are his problems. Are you going to be mad at me for not being able to resist your beauty? Don't be silly, Y/N. Did you see yourself lying in a swimsuit under the hot summer sun? I did. I'll tell you, it's a sight that you can't handle yourself. Or rather, it was only my hand that could somehow handle it."

He added a second finger and slightly accelerated the pace.

"What about the party… I was in a bad mood, I needed to talk to Felix and explain about this situation so that he wouldn't upset you, but I couldn't find him anywhere. So, I asked his friend first, and then his sister. The fact that they were both drunk, high and desperate for any male attention is not my problem either. I don't know what you’ve imagined..."

The pace of his fingers became ruthless, Oliver also added a third finger, and it almost caused you real pain from the suddenness of everything that was happening. Another tear involuntarily rolled down your cheek.

"...but I've been hoping all evening that after talking to Felix that I'll finally get, as you said, my main gift..."

He licked your hot tear off your face with his even hotter tongue.

"You."

You almost came from a mixture of fear, excitement and arousal.

"I saw you walk past me, holding his hand and not saying a word to me. Of course, I followed you, especially since I needed to talk to him. And what do I see? How he. Kisses. My. Girlfriend."

It was the first time he had said "girlfriend". In a different environment, you'd been absolutely happy, but now a feeling of unknown anxiety had been added to this feeling. Oliver himself would prefer announcing it in different circumstances, but there we go. He pulled out your fingers, which glistened in the dark. You were panting a little. He ran his digits lightly over his lower lip.

"Tell me, is my name Felix Catton?"

You were silent. He couldn't be serious, could he?.. But Oliver leaned over to you and almost whispered his question into your lips, "Is. My. Name. Felix. Catton?"

"No..."

"So, what is my name?" he asked, staring intently into your eyes so that you wanted to sink through the ground. His hands squeezed your forearms painfully enough.

"O-Oliver..." you answered almost soundlessly.

"I can't hear you, Y/N. Say it a little bit louder, please."

You were silent, shaking slightly. It was like the air has left your lungs. Oliver sighed.

He took you by the hips and pulled you to him, turning you over with your chest and stomach on the pedestal of the monument, your front parts of your body were not used to the cold of the stone and immediately became covered with goosebumps, just like your palms and elbows, which you had to lean on now. He bent you and spread your legs wide apart, lifting the hem of your dress.

"You have a very beautiful outfit today, darling. I'm sorry I was out of sorts and didn't say it sooner – you look amazing tonight. Of course, I noticed it right away," you heard the sound of a belt slowly unbuckling, and then the sound of a fabric coming down, "So, who is this? Helena? Or Hermia? Oh, it must be Hermia, isn’t it? How ironic. I hope in this version of the story she won't have to choose between Lysander and Demetrius?"

Oliver, holding your hips, bent down and left a few kisses on your neck, going down to your shoulder blades.

"She won't have to."

With those words, he entered you, abruptly and without warning. You exhaled in a little shock. Oliver entered and fill you up completely at once and, almost without giving you time to get used to it, began unhurried, but nevertheless impatient movements with his hips. You started to sigh and whine, feeling yourself getting wetter by the second. He smiled, feeling it, "I didn't expect anything else. So, tell me, dear, what's my name? Only louder this time."

You let out a moan in response, and Oliver picked up the pace, "I'm going to bang those words out of you."

Your eyes were watering, but he watched the way you were twisting and panting. You liked this. He could see it in your face, which was slightly tilted to the side, could feel it within his core. He continued thrusting, his hips meeting your ass with each movement. He reached up, wrapping a hand around your neck and pulling you closer, the sensation restricting your breathing ever-so-slightly turned you on even more.

"So... what's my name?"

"Oli...ver..." you moaned, stumbling because of his strong grip and the rhythm he had set.

He practically went in and out of you completely with every move, the stone of the pedestal seemed to melt under you. The feeling of a little fear and anxiety completely turned into a pleasure that overshadowed everything else. Oliver took his hand off your throat and moved it to your hair, burrowing into it slightly.

"Oliver… Oliver!" you said louder, breathing heavily, the words turning into moans again.

"Good girl, that's exactly my name. And all the other names, and even more so lips, hands, and so on, you must forget. This is my wish for my birthday."

You looked back and your eyes finally met. His eyes were completely dark with lust, and his lips crooked into a satisfied smile when he caught your gaze. He was horned and you were incredibly horny. Heck, he was horny too, of course, not to say more.

You gasped every time as he was pushing inside you. You were so fucking tight, still so tight, you were need to be fucked more like that sometimes, he kept thinking to himself as he gritted his teeth, feeling your body pulsating around him.

"Fuck, girl, making such a mess over me," he groaned. His head fell back and his grip on you was tightening.

The moon casted a shadow of the two of you on the ground. Oliver's horned silhouette was crashing into you, and a horned monster was looking at it all from above. You were close to the end.

You were mewling, bucking your hips, wanting to take him deeper, the tip of his cock brushing against your most pleasurable spot with every thrust. He drove into you harder, holding you tighter, clenching his jaw. His pace was absolutely merciless and was already just abruptly knocking the air out of you instead of any screams.

"Oliver!.." you came around his cock, and a minute later he followed you, piling on top of you. He was breathing heavily, and then he kissed you on the shoulder, then on the neck, after that he turned you over and sat you on the pedestal of the statue, straightening your dress.

Buttoning up his white pants, he knelt down, gently wrapping his arms around your leg, kissing your knee and looking deep into your eyes. The feel of his warm fingertips against the slightly cold skin on your calf gave your chills. Then he took your hand, kissed it and pressed his face against it. Closing his eyes, he began to rub his cheek against your hand, burrowing his face into your palm. It was an act of adoration after the act of forcibly asserting his authority.

He was again just a mere stag by his Artemis’s side.

You stroked his dark soft hair, and then you began to grope his antlers. Sharp and hard, now you were stroking them securely, although it seemed that a moment earlier Oliver could stab someone with them out of rage. Maybe even you. Any thing or person, if you look at them closer, does not seem as intimidating as at first glance. Yet maybe not quite any.

He rose from his knees to the level of your face, and leaning on his hands next to your hands, he asked softly and hoarsely, "Are you mine, Y/N?"

His piercingly blue eyes were glowing in the dark along with his suit, which seemed almost luminescent white in the night.

"Yes, Oliver, I am yours," you replied, sealing your promise with a kiss.

* * *

You walked silently back to the house, out of the maze, through the garden, past the pond. The small pebbles crunched under your feet. The fresh air, all these wild experiences and emotions today and their passionate resolution made your legs feel wobblier with every step, and your eyes began to feel weary.

Upon entering the hall where the party was going on, you were greeted by loud music again:

One, two, three, four

Let me hear you scream if you want some more

Like ah, push it, push it

Watch me work it

I'm perfect

Oliver kissed you on the stairs. Few people paid attention, but he knew that Felix would most likely notice if he was here. And he was here, and he noticed. You turned around and saw that Felix was already dancing with some girl and was clearly having a good time with her. You were upset. It didn't last long, you thought bitterly. Even though he probably had a lot to drink, it was no excuse to forget his intentions so quickly. But you didn't know that he had been high for a long time on top of everything else.

"Can you get me something to drink?" you moaned.

"Baby, haven't you had enough for today?" Oliver began mockingly, and then, seeing your frown, added, "The wishes of the birthday boy’s girlfriend are the law," and left for cocktails.

That's right, I'm a superstar

Everybody wanna come up when I'm at the bar

All the people wanna try

It's like, give me some more

Try a little harder, honey

Give me some more

You were looking at Felix and the girl in the fairy costume again. He could not take his hands off her, then bent down and began to whisper something to her, or maybe not only whisper, which made her giggle.

Perfection… ha-ha!

The female singer's voice seemed to mockingly comment on the situation.

Your heart has almost broken once again this night. When you saw a drink nearby on a nearby table, you knocked it over without looking at the contents. Damn, it seemed like it was something very strong. Oliver returned with two cocktails, blocking you in every sense from this view. Smiling, you downed another cocktail in almost one sitting. Your head began to spin pleasantly again, pushing out unnecessary thoughts. You and Oliver danced a little. How fabulous he was in that outfit, your birthday boy. The music seemed to disappear for a while when you enjoyed this moment of dancing, without taking your eyes off each other.

Then, the music almost abruptly hit you with a throbbing headache and a heaviness in your eyelids and legs. It seems that fatigue and a sense of stress have returned, multiplied by repeated alcohol intoxication. Oliver led you through the entire crowd and all the rooms, almost every one of which had its own mini-party, until you found yourself on your floor. He carefully helped you undress and put you to bed. Your body ached pleasantly, feeling the soft mattress underneath and the duvet above.

"Good night, Ollie."

"Good night, Y/N," he said softly, "And... Sorry for everything."

"We sort of settled everything," you assured him, being sure that he was only talking about the events of the evening, and not about anything else, "Everything will be fine."

"Everything will be fine, that is for sure."

* * *

Oliver returned to the hall, a bottle of wine in his hand. Felix never let talk to him, literally sent him away, and Quick wanted to give him another chance. Or maybe he didn't want to anymore after Felix laid his eyes and not only the eyes on Y/N.

Catton Jr. danced merrily with his fairy, and then at some point took her by the hand and led her across the hall, outside. Oliver watched all this closely, gloomily drinking from a bottle, leaning against the wall.

Felix's clouded mind told him to finish the job, his regrets almost completely blocked by drugs, alcohol and the desire to lick his wounded ego. Therefore, his almost mindless brain led him down the road that he already knew well. Into the maze.

Oliver followed, his wrath building with each slow but firm step as he was running through all the events that had happened. Going to his parents without warning, ignoring his requests and pleas to stop, turn around, or at least not go with him. The discovery of the truth, the way Felix pushed him away, calling him a fucking liar, yet he had nosed into Oliver's life himself. The way fear and contempt were read in his eyes, mixed with an inner struggle whether to tell it all to everyone or not. To tell it to Y/N or not. The way he started turning Y/N against him. The way he started hitting on Y/N, especially now, knowing it all. And how he immediately traded you for some random girl. And all this was on the date of his birthday celebration.

No, there won't be a second chance, Oliver thought to himself as he poured a huge dose of the drug into the bottle.

It was tempting to say that Felix flew too close to the sun, but he was actually the sun himself. So dazzlingly bright and inviting. It was all the others who were too close to him in the rays of his destructive splendor and the hopes of living the same incredible life as his that endlessly flew up and burned. Besides, it was the middle of the night in Saltburn, so the allegory would be completely missed. However, in addition to those infamous wings, Daedalus created something else - the labyrinth of Knossos, where the Minotaur dwelled and suggested a horror, devouring beautiful young men.

Which meant that Icarus was destined to die anyway from the creation of Daedalus.

The dark antlered silhouette followed the winged youth with the confidence of a predator.

By stepping into this labyrinth, carefree Icarus himself signed the verdict of his fate.

* * *

It still seemed to you that all this was a terrible foggy ill dream from which you still could not wake up from. The scream that Felix had been found with was still ringing in your ears sometimes.

It had been a few days now, and you still couldn't believe that he was gone. No matter what, he was an angel. Childishly selfish, but still generous, open-hearted and always ready to help and support. You remembered his costume at the party and smiled bitterly. Really an angel. And even more so now.

You were so regretful that you didn't speak to him again that night. Were so sorry that you went to bed early and didn't see much. That you never knew that Felix and Farleigh were taking some drugs that night, to the point it was too much and too late, and Farleigh was anyhow to blame for it and he couldn’t save him. That you couldn’t save him.

You went into Oliver's room, but he hadn’t come yet. While waiting, you began to walk around the room, and suddenly saw a book by his bedside table, your birthday present. You sat down on the bed, picked up the book and began to look at it again. Icarus with golden wings, falling away from the sun. You ran your finger over the gold embossed cover. Tears welled up your eyes. Gods. You started crying uncontrollably, hot tears dripping right onto the cover of the book. Gently throwing the book on the bed, you buried your face in your hands and bent over in sobs.

"Y/N, what are you..." Oliver came into the room and rushed to hug you.

"Ollie... the book... I..." you spoke barely legibly through sobs. He began to calm you gently, squeezing you tightly in his arms, "I'm here, my darling, everything is fine."

He wish he could take away this pain that you were experiencing right now, but it was impossible to take away what he had caused himself. Yet he was sincerely comforting you, hugging and kissing you in the most caring way possible, "I'm here and I'll always be there, no matter what happens, you'll be safe and sound with me," his whispering was hot and assuring.

Oliver used to think that there was nothing better than the feeling when you comforted him. However, the way you looked at him with your eyes full of tears, trustfully snuggling closer, searching for his support and his consolation, it turned out to be a feeling on a completely different level. The way you needed him, him and no one else. And only he could grant you any relief. At that moment, he felt that he was close to the deity. Your personal deity.

And Oliver was ready to arrange a hundred more accidents to experience this feeling again.

A hundred? This was, of course, too much. But it was in his power to do a couple more.

He took a deep breath of your scent, burying his nose deeper into your hair and holding you closer. Besides, Saltburn looked like a lovely place for your future shared happily ever after.

[mingirn]

tell me it's love

mark lee x reader

genre: smut, some angst and fluff

warnings: dry humping, cumming untouched, childhood best friends to fuck buddies, unrequited love, hidden feelings

word count: 3.6k

notes: first nct fic kinda nervous. there will be a part 2 to this i already have most of it written i just got scared it’d be too long LMFAO

”Do you like it better like this? Or, wait- like this?”

Mark is sitting on his floor in front of the full-length mirror he’d demanded help from both you and Johnny to put up. He’s messing with his hair, it’s been a while since he’s gotten a haircut and this is a new routine. He’ll sit in front of the mirror, arranging his bangs to lay across his forehead, or pushing them back, parting his hair in the middle and on each side, asking for your opinions.

”Mark,” you sigh. ”You keep asking this, but then you still wear your hair like you always do anyways.”

”Yeah, but… it looks stupid, doesn’t it?”

You haven’t even bothered to look up at him. You don’t need to in order to predict what he’ll look like, it’s the 4th night in a row now and you’ve seen it all. Instead, you keep your eyes on your book.

”If it bothers you so much, why don’t you cut it?” you ask.

”And ask Yuta again? After last time? It took me three months to grow that tragedy out, no way!” He breathes out something between a sigh and a groan and slumps down on the floor with a thud.

”Then stop complaining.”

Mark protests with an overblown sigh, but offers no rebuttal. Your focus shifts back to your book now, getting lost in the plot while Mark lies in silence on the floor. His dorm room is nicely lit, glowing warmly from his night lamp and a few fairy lights he’s got set up. The campus has that usual 10 pm quiet, and you know you should drag yourself back to your own dorm room soon but Marks bed is just so nice and soft, and your book is just getting good, and it is Friday.

”You got any space for me up there?” Mark asks, already making his way up and without waiting for your answer he’s climbing onto the bed.

You huff a little from the sudden disruption, but this is also pretty much routine, and Mark quickly finds a resting spot for his head on your shoulder.

”Still the same one?” he asks, as if it isn’t obvious.

”Yeah. If you’d stop distracting me, I might actually be able to finish it sometime.”

It’s Marks turn to huff now. He lays in silence next to you for a while, though it's all but peaceful. Mark always fidgets, he just always seems to be buzzing with something. There are these pressures and expectations packed tightly under his skin and a brain that never seems to shut off. It's Friday, he's got two days of rest ahead of him, yet you know he's probably already going through the schedule for next week in his head.

"Mark," you say, softly and silently.

"Mm?"

"You're squirming."

"Oh, sorry," he apologizes, sounding more like he's sighing. He runs his hand over his face, as if to reset, then sighs again.

You ponder for a moment. Then you speak, "Remember when we got drunk like two weeks ago? I threw up in your bathroom and afterward you read to me to keep me from freaking out."

Mark hums.

"What if- do you want to lay in my lap? You could read to me, and I'll play with your hair. Maybe it'll relax you," you suggest.

"Mhm, yeah, that'd be nice.." he murmurs. He lets you scoot yourself up to make space for him, with the way you're sat against the wall. He lays the side of his head down on your thigh, grabbing your book and bracing it against your leg so that he can easily turn the pages.

"Should I just start here?" he asks.

"At the second paragraph," you tell him.

He clears his throat and starts reading. The back of his head is turned towards you, like this you can brush your fingers through the thick of his hair. Mark sounds sleepy, his voice is low and warm, sounding very soft as he reads out loud. If his hair didn't feel so nice in your hands you think you could fall asleep right here, lulled by only his voice.

His hair really has gotten long. It's been a long time since he's dyed it too, there's some brown left at the tips but most of it is his natural color by now. You card your fingers through it, pressing at his scalp and feeling him melt in your hands.

This is what you like best, you think. Times like these, when it's quiet around you and it feels like no one exists but you and Mark. Like this, like the warmth of his cheek against your leg, the soft strands of hair between your fingers, the sound of his voice filling your head.

Your eyes start to drift a little, first following the sight of his dark hair falling from your hands, then down to his neck, then over the expanse of his shoulders. You rarely let yourself do this, to just look at him. You've convinced yourself that letting your eyes linger on him for more than a few seconds would tell on you. Like he'd be able to look into your eyes and little confessions would float in your irises, that he'd know just from looking that you're in love with him. With his back against you like this you feel shielded, you can let yourself look.

He’s wearing a thin shirt with a wide neckline, it almost hangs off of his shoulders and you’re struck with the need to just touch him. It's like a silent bet, you dare yourself to move your hand down just a little. The tips of your fingers ghost down the back of his neck where his skin is fully exposed. Mark twitches, and you get scared for just a moment, wanting to pull back, worrying that his body is alarmed at your touch. But you keep your hand in place, and he lets you.

His skin is warm under your hand, and there’s still a sliver of bare skin underneath your hand, so you trail your fingers down, all the way to where the hem of his shirt is hanging.

Something in the room shifts. Marks voice stutters and he sucks in a deep breath of air. You can hear it hitch in his throat, and you expect him to ask you what you're doing, for the illusion to break. But he does nothing, just squares his shoulders to lean into your touch.

You keep it light, dragging your fingertips up and down his back, staying outside of his shirt. It's thin enough that you can still feel the heat of his body through the fabric. You can also feel the way his ribs rise and fall with each breath he takes, how it's becoming faster.

Suddenly, Mark stops reading. He draws another deep breath, and from what you can see of his face you notice his eyes fluttering shut. There's a long silent moment where it feels like time stands still. The only thing that is happening, the single action taking place while the rest of the universe stops is Mark turning towards you.

And surely he must know, then. He's looking into your eyes, and doing nothing to avert from them. In absolute silence, he grabs your hand and lays it on his chest. You wonder if the universe has resumed moving yet, or if time is still only yours and Marks.

Mark closes his eyes again, and he squeezes your hand. His instruction is wordless, but you understand it nonetheless. Touch me, he urges.

You gather the courage to move your hand down, coming over the muscles that make up his chest. He’s almost feverishly warm, and you can feel his chest move with every labored breath. You've never touched him like this before, flattening your hand over his stomach and moving over every little inch of his torso. You're really taking him in, learning what he feels like, how defined his muscles are, how broad his chest is.

Marks mouth falls open, and he lets out a low, quiet moan. It heats you, like this hot flash that shoots through your body and makes your chest tighten. It's so bright and hot that it knocks the wind out of you.

Moving solely on instinct, just this thoughtless and desperate urge, the sight of his parted lips has you trailing your hand up his chest, and then along the column of his neck to end up at his mouth. You tap the pad of your pointer finger against his lips once, to test the waters. Mark pouts, chasing your touch. You abide, tracing your finger over his bottom lip and feeling his hot breath against your finger.

”You’re so pretty, Mark,” you tell him. You're not even thinking. Your hands move on their own and so does your mouth.

His eyes open again, so heavily lidded, and for a moment you think he’s about to say something. That maybe his eyes will sharpen and he's going to snap out of this illusion. Instead, he sits up. His gaze is focused on you and there still isn't a hint of hesitation or distress in his eyes.

”Please,” he pleas, only that.

You pat his shoulder, ”What, please? What do you want?”

”I want to kiss you.”

Mark blinks, looking down at your lips as he says it. You should probably stop to ask him if he means it, if it’s just a heat of the moment thing, but he’s so beautiful, and so eager, and his eyes still have not left your mouth. You just lean forward, connecting your lips with his and Mark kisses you back in an instant.

Whatever first kisses are supposed to be, you're sure this isn't it. In the books you read they describe the fireworks, the instant passion and how their lips just meld together. With Mark it's clumsy, he makes contact with the corner of your mouth and pulls back too quickly, then kisses you again before you've regained your breath. You can feel your heart pound in your chest and you swear Mark can hear it, and you wonder if his heart is doing the same. The very tips of your fingers feel cold, your entire body is filled with a heat so warm it's paralyzing and all you can think about is the fact that Mark is still kissing you.

He's not pulling away. He kisses you, again, and again, and again. It makes your heart surge, the fact that he isn't scared off by how awkward it is at first. The possibility of what that means rushes through you like a wave but you forbid yourself to ruminate on it now.

Whatever first kisses are, this isn't it, but it's infinitely better.

Marks hands come up to your neck, curling around the back of it so that he can pull you impossibly close as he parts his lips, swiping his tongue along yours. You have to part for air but he hardly lets you, with the way he keeps his lips just close enough to be ghosting yours.

"Touch me," he whispers into the kiss.

You’re not exactly sure where he wants you, but he releases a satisfactory hum when you trace your hands down over his chest. He leans his forehead against yours and you can feel his breath come out hot and short against your mouth. Spurred on by the moment, you trail your hands even lower to lift the hem of his shirt to touch his bare hips. He gasps at the contact, and a whine builds in the back of his throat, so quiet that you’d be unable to catch it if he wasn’t so close.

He's right above you, closer than he's ever been before and he guides you to lie down. He's laying on top of you now, pressed against you so that you can feel him everywhere. Your hands are frantic under his shirt, rushing to feel every inch of him. Quiet moans continue to slip past his lips the more you touch him, and you wish to swallow them all up.

”Take my shirt off,” he mumbles, barely parting from your lips to speak. It's already hiked up his torso, all you need to do is bring it over his head and your hands tremble when he sits back to let you take it off.

You watch him, breathless, as he sits shirtless in front of you. His hair is messy, ruffled by the shirt and he shakes his head to get it to fall pretty again. Mark leaves little time for you to take in the sight of him bare before he's kissing you again, this time far more passionately.

Somewhere in the haze of it all you've spread your legs, and Mark has positioned himself between them. His hands are as rushed as yours, moving over your thighs and the side of your ass, squeezing at your hips, feeling you everywhere he can. Mark whines, letting out these desperate sounds into your mouth that only quiet down when you wrap your legs around his hips and press him against your body.

Everything about it is needy, neither of you can get enough. Marks hands are everywhere, tangling his fingers into your hair, caressing your face, cradling your jaw, wrapped around your neck. It's like you're making up for all the time you haven't had each other like this. A million touches laced into this one hand on his naked torso, so many words spoken in this total silence.

Mark pulls away, moving to trail kisses over your jaw. A spot in the junction of your ear and jaw makes you gasp once he kisses it, and Mark smiles. He lets out this satisfied chuckle, and there's still a smile on his lips when he puts his mouth on your neck again. He sucks your skin into his mouth, letting his teeth grace ever so slightly against your neck. His mouth feels so good on you, it has little gasps and moans spilling from your mouth. Embarrassment makes you silence them as best you can, but Mark seems dedicated to making you even louder.

He starts to leave open-mouthed kisses down your neck, stopping sometimes to suck your skin into his mouth. He falters by a spot right above your collarbone, just where your shoulder starts, where he sinks his teeth into the flesh. Your body just melts, and you feel weightless, only whispering out his name under hushed breaths.

"Hm, you okay?" he asks, breaking away from the kiss. He comes up to your face again, close like before, where his breath tickles your mouth.

"What?" you ask, before you realize where his concern has come from. "Oh, yeah, yeah. More than okay. You?"

"Me? I'm okay," he laughs. Your heart is beating out of your chest, and your fingertips have still not returned to their normal temperature. It's still the same Mark looking back at you right now, the one you knew as a child, the Mark you've spent every milestone of a lifetime with.

The way he looks at you is new though. His eyes flit from your eyes to your mouth, it makes him look dazed in a way.

"Do you.. do you want to?" He doesn't finish the question. He moves towards you ever so slightly, still focused on your lips. He barely waits for the little time it takes you to rush out a 'yeah, yeah, please' until his lips are back on yours and his hands return to your body.

Something inside of you clicks, bringing you back to reality instead of the swimming fantasy in your head. You become aware of the weight of him above you, and the fact that his lips taste like buttercream chapstick. You can feel his hands on you, fingertips chancing to go underneath your shirt. It has taken until now for you to realize that his hips are pressed against your own, and with your legs wrapped around him, he's so close, so fucking close that through all the layers of clothing, you can still feel that he's hard.

Just the feeling of it has your legs squeezing around him, without really meaning to you push yourself against him. Your stomach swirls and tightens and your own arousal builds as Mark starts grinding himself against you.

”Oh my god, what the fuck," his breath shudders, words spoken into a kiss.

He's not even making direct contact with you but it still feels so fucking good. Marks hand is under your shirt now, his soft fingers tracing your naked skin. His touch feels so good on your body, and he's starting to angle his hips in just the right way, so you can feel his dick right where it feels good.

His voice is hushed and strained, pulling away from you to rest his head in the crook of your neck while he moans your name. You're probably making too much noise, the walls are thin and you worry that anyone walking by would be able to hear the noise inside Marks room. It's only a fleeting thought, easily silenced by Mark groaning, deep and low, so that you can feel the vibrations in his chest.

"Mark, Mark," you whine. He lifts his head and looks at you, but his hips keep moving. "Kiss me, please."

He leans in for a clumsy kiss, his mouth clashing with yours. It's messy, all tongue and teeth, but you can hardly care when his hips rut against yours and his breathing is becoming more jagged. You wish he'd keep kissing you, but when he pulls back and only looks at you, it doesn't matter. You're too enamored by him, watching every microexpression on his face and reveling in his beauty, and what that means for your friendship is something you’re not willing to unpack now.

It feels almost infinite, cosmic in a way, this very second that Mark stares into your eyes. His lips are parted and his eyes are still heavily lidded, there's a blush dusting his cheeks that's spreading all the way down his neck and chest.

"Baby," he gasps, leaning his forehead against yours. His hips stutter, getting faster and needier. He stutters, "Fuck, I'm- I'm gonna cum."

Words shouldn't do this much. His voice shouldn't be enough to make you feel like you could cum untouched but it is, and he keeps mumbling your name the closer he gets.

It's all a haze, your head is just filled with Mark, Mark, Mark and his voice seems to fill every space within you. You can't tell if you cum first or if he does, it's only moments before you're both grabbing onto each other and it feels like there isn't enough air in the world with how breathless you both become. Mark puts his lips to yours, too distracted to kiss but desperate enough that he needs you close.

You feel it out to your very fingertips, and it takes a second for the ringing in your ears to stop and for the air to return to your lungs. Mark is slowing his hips down, riding it out, and he finally kisses you.

The kiss is far too tender and careful for a moment like this. He’s so gentle, just brushing against your lips at first. His hand comes up to the back of your head, burying in your hair as he pulls you in even closer. You drag your hands along the sides of his torso, then curling around his shoulders in a hug.

"Mark," you try to say, muffled by his kiss.

"Mm, what?"

"We have to get cleaned up," you speak, sort of quietly. Part of you somehow believes that there's a barrier to be broken, like if you raise your voice something will exit the room and take this moment with it.

Mark lets out an exaggerated groan as he rolls off of you. The room is still dimly lit, just like before, the sky is still dark outside and you don't understand how everything is exactly the same when you aren't.

"Hm," he thinks for a moment. "Are you.. staying here, or?"

You suck in a breath. Something about the way he asks it feels kind of loaded. You've slept here before, next to him in this very bed, but something about the tone of his voice makes this feel different.

"Why?" you ask.

"Just cause, like, you'd need to borrow something to sleep in."

"Are you saying you'd make me walk to my room like this if I didn't want to sleep here?" you ask, faking upsetness. "This isn't only my cum, you know."

He looks over at you, at the little wet spot on your sweatpants that matches the one on his own.

"Jesus, yeah, sorry!" he laughs breathily, throwing his arm over his face. The whine in his voice is gone by now, but he's still being playful. Nothing in his tone conveys that he's upset, or that regret has set in. You need to stop dwelling on it though, or the deepest parts of your mind will find something to latch onto to ruin this. You can't think about it, any of it, it’s going to mess you up and you know it.

There's a moment of silence where your eyes fix on the ceiling. You steal little glances to the side, at Marks bare skin. You had just been touching him, your fingertips must be imprinted on some parts of his skin. Right now, the only part of him that is touching you is his pinky against yours. He moves it, just a little, like a twitch, and strokes it over your finger.

"So.. you're staying?" he asks.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm staying."

[mrsstarkey1]

sneakin' around - rafe cameron

SUMMARY: you and rafe have been seeing each other for months now, without telling anyone because of your doubts about how your friends will react. one night, at a party, you and rafe sneak off to be alone.

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

WARNINGS: none

A/N: check out my most recent rafe fic

you ran your hand through rafe's hair mindlessly, listening to the sound of his slow and steady breath. his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, but he was still sound asleep.

you looked at your watch, sighing when you saw the time. it was almost 10 am, and kie would be expecting you at the boat soon.

"rafe?" you said softly, wanting to wake him up to say goodbye. "baby?" you tried again, this time placing a kiss on his forehead.

his eyes slowly opened and a grin appeared on his face. "morning," he said in the raspy morning voice you adored oh so much, and he lifted his head a little to press his lips to yours.

you smiled into the kiss, groaning when you had to pull away. "i have to go," you said with a frown, getting up from the bed you'd been sharing with rafe for months now.

rafe grabbed your hand, "please don't go," he said sadly.

"we can meet up later tonight, i promise. but kie is going to get suspicious if i don't meet her soon."

rafe rolled his eyes, pulling you closer, "come on baby, who cares if kie is suspicious. let's just tell them. i hate sneaking around like this."

you tilted your head at him, seeing that he was serious. "but we agreed that we shouldn't tell anyone. i mean the pogues aren't exactly your biggest fan, and the kooks aren't mine. it would just hurt both of us if our closest friends didn't approve of our relationship, you know that."

rafe sighed and sat up on the bed, putting his legs over the side. he grabbed your hands and you stood between his legs. he looked up at you, "i know. it just sucks that i can't just see you whenever i want. you make me happy, y/n."

your heart just melted at the look on his face. you put your hands on both sides of his face, kissing his forehead, then his lips. "you make me happy too, rafe. we'll talk about maybe sitting everyone down and telling them? eventually."

he smiled and nodded, "i'll see you later then?"

you nodded and pressed one last short kiss to his lips. you grabbed bikini and a pair of shorts from the drawer of your clothes you had at rafe's house and went to change in the bathroom.

you spent the rest of the day with kie and jj, who decided to tag along on the boat with you. by the time we got back, jj and kie were totally drunk, and you were just a little tipsy.

"i'm gonna go change guys, then we're going to that bonfire tonight right?" you asked when you got off of the boat.

kie nodded, "yeah, we'll see you there. everyone's going."

you texted rafe when you got back to your house, meet up at bonfire tonight?

you sorted through your clothes, trying to find an outfit while you waited for a response. you decided on what you always wore to parties, jean shorts and a cropped tank top.

your phone buzzed in your back pocket.

of course. can't wait :)

you smiled at the text, and tossed your phone on the bed. you spent the next 2 hours wasting time until it was time to leave for the beach.

these parties were your favorites, the ones where both kooks and pogues were able to be in the same place without fighting, because everyone was having too much fun to care.

you immediately saw your friends when you arrived. john b was standing on a log, pouring beer into jj's mouth. you scoffed at the scene, not surprised in the slightest.

you walked toward the group, but was stopped by someone stepping directly in front of you. rafe. he backed you up until you were both out of sight, behind a tree. "i missed you," rafe said with a smile.

"rafe, honey it's barely been 10 hours," you said with a laugh, "but i missed you too."

rafe wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to press his lips against yours. you threw your arms around his neck as your kiss continued. you pulled away before the kiss got too heated, and rested your forehead on his. "we can continue this later. i just have to make an appearance with jj, pope, kie and john b for an hour and then i can get away, okay?"

rafe nodded, "okay," he said softly, pecking your lips again. "i'll see you in an hour."

you squeezed his hand once and then returned on your path to your group of friends. "y/n!!" a voice you recognized said and you screamed when someone picked you up from behind, spinning you around.

"jj, put me down," you smacked his arm and leaned your head back with a laugh.

he let you down onto the sand, and he was hunched over, laughing uncontrollably, obviously drunk. you smacked him on the head, "idiot."

kie handed you a beer, and you all sat around one of the small fires. you weren't really engaged in most of the conversations, because all you wanted to do was sneak away and be with rafe. of course you weren't proud of not wanting to be with your friends, but you didn't get much alone time with rafe because of your friends.

the minute all of them got up to get more beer and cigarettes, you got up and texted rafe to meet you by the docks outside of john b's place. you figured you could hang out there for a little bit, knowing they'd be out until 2 in the morning.

you sat on the dock for only a couple minutes before you saw rafe running toward you. you stood up and pulled him in by his shirt the minute he got into your reach. your lips crashed together, in a hungry, passionate kiss. his hands found your bare waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

you pulled back to come up for air, breathing heavily, "we can go into john b's place. they'll be out late."

he hummed in response, kissing you again. you grabbed his hand, practically sprinting to the chateau.

you wasted no time once you got in the door, pulling his shirt over his head. he placed his hands on your hips, pushing you back until you hit the couch, falling onto it.

back at the beach, kie was looking everywhere for you, and when she didn't find you she'd started to worry.

"jj, i can't find y/n. have you seen her?"

the blonde shook his head, and looked around the beach, not having any luck locating you. "maybe she decided to go home. she seemed kind of tired."

kie sighed, "yeah maybe. she's actually been acting really weird lately. i'm starting to get worried. but i don't think she would just leave without telling anyone."

jj nodded in agreement, "well let's go get john b and pope and we'll look for her."

rafe moved your hair out of your face and off of your neck, giving him room to place sloppy kisses from your collarbone to your neck. your hands traveled down his chest and played with the button of his shorts. his lips found yours again, this kiss much more desperate than the last.

the moment you unbuttoned his shorts, you heard the slam of the door, and the gasp of four people, who you were pretty sure you knew the identities of.

rafe jumped off of you, standing in front of the four, very shocked pogues. you got off of the couch and stepped toward them. "guys, let me explain-"

"a kook? y/n!! really?" jj shouted and stepped toward rafe, an angry look on his face.

you placed yourself between them, putting your hand out to push jj's chest. "stop it. i said let me explain," you said with enough seriousness in your voice to make them all close their mouths and give you their attention.

you moved back so that you were standing by rafe. "we're dating," you said simply, and open your mouth to continue but was cut off, unsurprisingly.

"what?!" they all shouted, looking at each other.

"you've got to be kidding. do you have any idea what the kooks have put us through?" john b decided to contribute to the not so civil conversation.

rafe looked at the floor.

"john b, i know. believe me. i know what rafe and topper used to do to you guys, to me too. but rafe hasn't done anything to a pogue in a long time, haven't you noticed that? do you really think i would date someone that i thought would hurt my closest friends? my family?" you said with determination, determination to make them see rafe the way that you do. they all remained silent, so you continued. "rafe has changed, a lot. and he's the only guy that i've ever been with that really cares about me. that looks after me, no matter what. i'm just asking you guys to, please, just be open to the idea of us being together. because i can't have my boyfriend and my best friends hating each other, especially if you don't even give him a chance. please, guys."

"okay," kie was the first to speak up. "if you really care about him, of course we'll give him a chance, right guys?" she glared at the 3 boys who were all staring at rafe as if they were determining their decision. all three of them nodded slowly, eventually.

rafe looked at you with a smile, "guys, i just wanna say that i know how bad me, topper and kelce treated you. and i really am sorry. once i met y/n, i haven't cared about the whole pogue vs kook thing, because if i can fall in love with one then-"

you turned to face him, "what?" you said, eyes widened. "what did you just say?"

everyone stared at the two of you in pure shock, and honestly what could only be described as admiration.

rafe took a deep breath, grabbing both of your hands. "i love you, y/n y/l/n."

"i love you too, rafe cameron," you said with the biggest grin on your face.

———

REQUESTS OPEN !!

check out my obx masterlist

[elly-grace]

The story goes…

This is my first fic. I think I’ll make a part two but we’ll see how this goes. It’s kinda short.

If you guys have any tips feel free to comment them.

Paring: Joe burrow x reader

Warnings: a terrible attempt at writing smut, pregnancy

Word count: 976 (like I said it’s short but I tried)

Pt 2

One night.

It’s funny how one night can ruin your life.

One mistake, one moment you wish you could erase.

But here I was staring at those two lines, my mistake led to this. Something that will be beautiful, something that won’t be viewed as a mistake.

Flash back

When I walk into the doorway of Joe's house I am greeted by the smell of alcohol. Out of the corner of my eye I see my brother flirting with a random girl, both obviously drunk. Then I see Joe, his beautiful blue eyes meet my (eye color) ones.

The tension between us could be cut by a knife. So obvious to everyone but us. As we continue to stare at each other I am pulled away.

“Yo little sis! Have a drink, glad you could make it.”

“Sam, how much have you had?” You give your brother a concerning look.

“I’m celebrating, we’re going to the Super Bowl!”

“That’s not what I asked. Who’s sober here?”

“That would be me.”

There it was the beautiful smooth voice. The voice that could make you drop to your knees. The voice that could make you do anything it said. It belonged the none other than Joe Burrow.

“Joe, how much has he drunk?”

“Enough, he’s probably going to either crash here or need a ride home.”

“I’m going to take him home. Let’s go Sam.”

Sam whines “you're no fun little sis. Have some fun let loose.”

With that Sam ran back to the Red head he was flirting with moments before.

“You umm. You look beautiful” Joe said as a hand moved to the back of his neck.

“Why thank you Joseph. You don’t look bad yourself”

Sam’s words running through your head. “Have some fun let loose” that’s exactly what I plan to do. Without thinking I smashed my lips into Joes.

To my surprise he pulled me into him and kissed me back. Things were getting heated and fast as Joe's hand reached down to my butt and slapped it. A moan slipping from my throat. I could feel his smirk as he slipped his tongue into my mouth.

I pull away out of breath and see Joe's chest heaving clearly out of breath as well. His eyes are no longer a light shade of blue but a dark shade filled with lust and longing.

“Let’s go upstairs.” He said and kissed me then grabbed my hand and pulled me to his room. He locks the door and stares at me as if I was his prey.

“Jo-“ I was cut off by him pushing me into the wall and kissing me again.

“Please” I whimpered out as he’s still kissing me.

He pulls away and looks into my eyes, his light blue eyes returning. Did I just ruin everything? Did he not want to have sex? Did he just want to kiss me?

“Y/n, I can't- I won’t do anything till you give me permission. So tell me what you want, baby.”

“I- I want you.” I went to kiss him and he pulled away.

“Not specific enough, tell me what you want.” He all but growls out as I see the tent growing in his shorts.

“Fuck me.” I whispered.

In a matter of seconds Joe picked me up and threw me on his bed. He started to kiss me while making progress on removing our clothes. Once all were both in our undergarments he stopped.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded

“Words baby, I need verbal confirmation .”

“Yes Joe.”

Joe quickly takes his underwear off and then mine and enters. First he’s slow so I can get used to him, but soon he’s fucking me like he will never have a chance to again.

When we’re both close to our orgasm Joe stops.

“I didn’t- I forgot a condom.”

“I don’t care. I’m on birth control.”

That’s all he needed to hear. We both reached our peak. He pulled out and laid next to me. After we both calm down he turns to me.

“I don’t want this to be a one time thing.”

“I don’t either but you're my brother's best friend. This was probably a mistake.” I stood up and started gathering and putting on my clothes.

“Y/n Sam will understand.”

“Obviously you don’t know Sam as well as I do. He’s going to hurt you if he finds out.” I said. I then unlocked his door and left.

End of flashback

I'm taken from my thoughts by banging on the door. I quickly got up and unlocked it knowing it was Evan. He ran in and hugged me.

“I’m a mess, he got me pregnant and I can’t tell him. Sam’s going to hurt him.”

“You’re not a mess. You’re emotional and that’s completely understandable. But look at me and listen when I say this, you and this baby are not alone.” He sighed. “I know you're not going to like what I’m about to say.”

“Then don’t say it Evan.”

“You should tell Joe. Even if he won’t say it out loud he loves you. He’s always had a crush on you, he’ll help raise the baby. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“Stop lying to me. Joe hates me, I bet he lied about being sober when we had sex. He probably doesn’t even remember it. Plus I was always just Sam’s annoying little sister.”

“He wasn’t lying. Please y/n he deserves to know he’s going to be a dad.”

“How do I tell Sam though. I’m afraid Sam’s going to hurt him.”

“Y/n Sam wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. You and Joe are oblivious but we all see it. Sam sees the way you two look at each other. He wouldn’t hurt Joe cause he knows you love him.”

[duffslut]

Why'd you only call me when you're high? *2*

Izzy Stradlin x Reader

Part *One* of this story.

My Masterlist.

Word Count: 1001

Warnings: Angst!

The day dawned and your body was exactly the same way Izzy had laid it on the bed last night, you didn't know what time you had finally fallen asleep, but you had the feeling that you slept for a very short time. You sat up in bed and rested your back against the headboard, feeling a sharp pain in your head that made you let out a groan. You had no intention of getting up, your body seemed to be stuck to the sheets, you reached over to the desk and grabbed a cigarette.

The day was clear but cold and you felt relieved it was sunday and you didn't have to go to work in the state you were in. You took a drag on your cigarette and let the smoke slowly come out of your nose, your phone rang but you were too lazy to answer it, you heard it ring until the call went to voicemail.

"Hey, mhm... I don't know if you're awake yet but, Izzy told me about last night, he's feeling really bad I think you guys should talk."

And suddenly you remembered. Izzy had come to your house last night, you talked too much, told him you loved him and he just left. The memories came rushing back, making your head hurt even more, and a boiling anger took over you. You answered the phone before Duff hung up.

"You can tell your stupid friend that he has no right to feel bad and that meeting him was the worst thing I ever did in my life!"

You hung up the phone, slamming it down hard. How typical of Izzy, to send his friend to deliver a message for him. What a coward. You said to yourself mentally, trying your best to hate him, you knew that declaring yourself might not happen as expected, but you never imagined that Izzy could be so cold to you, leaving you alone without even an answer.

You walked around the room not knowing what to do, your whole like was such a mess. You were on your third cigarette, still wearing your pajamas when your doorbell rang.

You threw your cigarette butt in the ashtray and went to answer it, wondering who would disturb you on a sunday morning.

- No! - You screamed and closed the door immediately when you saw who was standing behind it.

- Y/n Please! - You heard Izzy say, knocking on the door again. - Please just give me a chance!

You covered your mouth with both hands, and let your body fall to the ground, feeling your throat hurt and your eyes burn, you were about to start crying. Why was he there? Wasn't it enough to humiliate you last night? To leave you alone and drunk after you had just told him you loved him? You remained silent, maybe he would give up and leave.

Minutes passed and the knocking on the door finally stopped, you got up and opened it to check if he had really gone. As soon as you opened it, a warm hand touched your face and Izzy kissed you, on impulse, you responded, with tears running down your cheeks, but then you returned to your senses and pushed him away slowly.

- Why are you doing this, Izzy? - You asked, genuinely confused, why was he there?

Izzy didn't take his eyes off yours, he entered your room and closed the door without looking back, a mixture of feelings ran through your body, and you had to sit down. Izzy seemed embarrassed but at the same time restless, he didn't move or say anything for a few moments.

- I'm sorry. - Was the first thing he said.

- Don't apologize for not loving me back Izzy. - You spoke quietly, not having the courage to look him in the eyes.

You felt his confused stare at you.

- Y/n, I never imagined I could have someone like you. - He said, you kept your head down while Izzy walked to the other couch and sat down. - I never imagined that you could want to have anything with me.

You listened to his words, still unable to understand where he was going with this, he waited for an answer for a while, but you didn't say anything.

- I tried to distract myself by going to parties, drinking like a drunkard and doing drugs, but you were always on my mind, so much so that I always ended up calling you. - You looked up. - I always called you because you were the one I really wanted, it was always you, Y/n.

Izzy sighed, you didn't know what to think.

- Why didn't you say anything yesterday? - It was the only answer you could think of.

- I was taken by surprise, I was too nervous, I was too drunk and I said things I would never have said to you, if you knew how much I wanted to hurt myself for making you cry... Leaving you alone in that bed was more painful for me than for you Y/n, believe me, I was so disgusted when I realized you were right, that I actually used you.

- Please don't talk about yourself like that. - You said.

- It's what I deserve, because I loved you and didn't treated you like I should have, and now I've lost you forever.

- You loved me? - You asked.

- I've always did, and I think I always will.

You finally let out the air that had been trapped in your lungs since Izzy had started talking, he loved you! Seeing him being so intimate and sincere with you made you realize that you could never hate him, not even if you wanted to.

- I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry, for everything. -Izzy said getting up and heading to the door.

It took you a few seconds to get up and run to him.

- Izzy! - He turned around and you threw yourself into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. - Stay.

[theprenderelliepalace]

Perception

part 2

Read part 1 and part 3 here:

Summary: Y/n heads over to the Salvatore residence to deliver some books, expecting to find trouble, being the odd one out and everything, she doesn't expect his name to be Damon Salvatore. What happens when things get a little more intense once she's caught red-handed?

Warnings: Swearing, alienating friends, traumatic experience, uhh self-doubting MC? Plot point Elena, mysterious supernatural stuff (so, the usual)

Word count: 2k

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I could curse Bonnie Bennet for her terrible timing. Finally, something interesting happens to me, Y/n, for a change and off he went, evaporating from the living room like hot steam in a sauna. God it was hot in here. Damon Salvatore had been drunk, he'd pinned me to the couch and kissed me, we'd fought like usual - I'd insulted him like usual- and then the inexplicable happened. I heard his thoughts. One thought to be specific, "I don't like lying, Y/n." What had that meant? Sure, the guy was attracted to me for some reason that was a cruel joke of fate, but he loved Elena! The girl I hated more than I cared to admit...

It was all so surreal. I was barely wrapping my head around it before I heard Bonnie bustle into the living room. I watched her absently, she came down the steps, threw a log onto the fire like she owned the place. Perfectly judgey, as Bonnie often was.

"Earth to y/n? I came in here five minutes ago, aren't I supposed to be the spacey one?" She smiled at me, it almost reached her eyes. Almost. "Did you bring the books?" She asked. And suddenly I was back on Earth.

"Uh, yeah, yeah." I sucked in a breath and sat up straighter on the couch. I could still feel the tingle in my lips, where he'd gripped onto my waist, where his lips had been against my ear... "So, these books. Prolly not the most legible. They've been tucked under some rock in the town library while my mom and I were traveling." Books. I was here to give Bonnie books, not think about whatever the hell let me read the leather-clad mosquitoe's thoughts. "Some of it's in Scandinavian I think. Mostly memoirs." Stop. Thinking. About. It.

I felt myself blush as Bonnie came over and sat next to me on the couch. She stared at me, almost like she was staring through me. I watched her grapple with something to say. I noticed the nervous clamp of her slender fingers in her lap. She wanted to talk to me about something important then, but didn't know how to say it. I groaned inwardly, in the last 6 months that I had been back in in this dogeball court of a town, where every second neighbour was something that could kill you, the main entourage that was the Mystic High popularity club always only looked like that when-

"Can I ask you something about Elena?" Bonnie tried. Her. That was the curse of having the enhanced ability of perception, I knew what was about to irritate me before it came out of the person's mouth.

"Sure. Shoot." I cringed. She sighed, straightening her shoulders.

"What happened between you two? One day,the four of us were best friends. The next.. you were off with your mom traveling the world. I know something happened, but neither of you will talk about it, so I just-" She was becoming breathless as I stopped her. The eagerness for answers tainting her rational sense of social courtesy.

"- Bonnie, I'm not ready to talk about it. If Elena isn't either then that's that. Besides, it's my business. It has nothing to do with anyone else besides Elena," I felt my throat clench," and me." I didn't remember standing, but I was. I had walked behind the two wingback chairs next to the fireplace and up the stairs. My feet were taking me to the front door, and honestly, I couldn't blame them. "I'll see you later Bon." I said her nickname like one of us still thought we were friends, I didn't believe that person was me.

"But we're your friends! We always have been, you and Elena shouldn't have been so secretive in the first place! We could've figured things out... Come on Y/N you've been back in town 6 months and we've barely said a word to each other. It's always about saving Elena. I know you aren't helping us because of her." I felt my jaw clench and my fists ball. I'd always been a 'fight kind of gal', I'd be loathe to hit Bonnie square in the face, but the thought crossed my mind.

"Bonnie, enough. I'm not your friend, I'm not a kid anymore. Don't treat me like one. I'm not on trial, I don't need to be. Especially with you." I looked at her, I saw her flinch, my gaze must've been harder and colder than I thought. "I'm helping Elena because it's important. I got mixed up with the Salvatores just as much as you did. Klaus is not a force to be reckoned with."

I put my hands in my pockets. Backing up to the hall, I had an airy look about my stride and my face was one of plastered lightheartedness, but I was shaking. "Enjoy your study session from hell. Call me if you need a translator. And tell Stefan whatever Caroline wanted me to tell him." She looked broken hearted as I turned and glanced over my shoulder. My heart twanged, but it was better this way. No one liked to be around the girl that could see everything. That's what I told myself.

-------------------------------------------------------

I was wandering. A habit I had picked up in Italy. The streets were beautiful there, hours of aesthetic entertainment, for free. Mystic Falls wasn't as entertaining. There were trees, I sighed and glanced to my left, and trees. I shook my head and chuckled at the absurdity of it all. I was angry at Damon, how can he just kiss a girl like that and- and then speed off like a bloodsucking coward. Drunken bastard.

Truth be told, it was a good kiss a very good kiss. I felt disgusted with myself for enjoying it, he came onto me, but at the same time; there was this static tension between us. We bantered, he tried to eat me, I shot him in the foot. It wasn't very poetic as attractions went, but it was there. It was something I couldn't really explain, but it was almost as though it had been there ever since I met the guy.

I stopped walking. There was an old stump on the side of the road. It looked about as good as a chair in the woods can get. I heaved myself onto it. My legs were tired from all the fast paced walking. I'd probably have to turn around soon and head back to the boarding house for my car. It seemed like such a waste to let all these feelings cloud my judgement. Damon, Bonnie, Elena... It was more than I could handle today. I put my head into my hands, letting myself sink into my lap.

I'm 16 and I want to retire already. I laughed at the thought.

I shot up, there was a rustling in the thick underbrush. Footsteps, male, moving faster, heartbeat- wait, what?

I pinched the bridge of my nose, not again. "Hey speedy Gonzolez. Find your tail between your legs in the last half-hour?" I asked with a bitter twist to my voice. I picked up a pebble and threw it in his direction. I heard him catch it.

"Aren't you full of it today." He said it with a questioning lilt to his voice, I knew he meant it with a threat carved into his cadence. He walked around my stump and stood in front of me on the road. "Had to get sober." He shrugged at the statement, like he'd simply just said I was a girl and he was a guy.

I raised a brow at him. "Are you a clone or something? An alien trying to take over the stupid little town of Mystic Falls."

He smiled. "Not much to take over."

" All aliens need to start building their hybrid cloning nests somewhere."

"Ew." He grimaced.

"It's true. The TV done told me sir. I saws it wit' my own eyes." I imitated a southerner a little too well. Damon told me as much. I told him to shove it. He sat down cross-legged in front of me. He put his hands under his chin and stared up at me expectantly. I recoiled slightly. "Okay seriously, who are you and what have you done with duchebag Damon Salvatore?" He shrugged again.

"Dunno, but I feel like I should ask you something." He looked contemplative and very, un-Damon-like.

"Well ask away hot shot. And then go away." He was just staring at me, scrutinizing me. "Okay that's getting a bit creepy now" I felt like a frog jumping into the frying pan. I shifted and sat up straighter. "Okay I'll bite, what do you want to ask me?"

"That kiss..." He seemed lost in thought again. "What you heard me think, i felt it." I scoffed.

"Obviously bat-boy. You jumped away from me like I set you on fire." He cocked his head at me.

"You know I can't actually turn into a bat?" He was almost amused.

"Boo, reject bat-boy. What, you a Friday batch vampire? No love for the poor guy with the terrible fashion sense?"

"Hey!" Good, at least he changed his expression to something slightly normal, or whatever was 'normal Damon'. "Insult my style, I rip your throat out." I leaned forward on my knees.

"Why? It's not like you care what you look like." I looked away from him, "or what you do to other people." All of a sudden I felt heated. "You can't just kiss a girl and blame it on being drunk. Either pine for Elena or get a real girl, don't be a dick and then come out here and stare at me for some creepy fucking reason. And FOR GODS SAKE DAMON, stop staring at me..." His piercing blue gaze remained unwavering, passive and increasingly alarming.

"Can I kiss you again?" He asked. I was confused.

"I- you- what? I- no, wait. What?" He sped over to me. His black hair feathered out across his face, his lashes were long and fluttering, even though he still stared at me with those swirling ice pools, there was something in his gaze. It was almost soft, something that made those icy eyes appear as blue as the open sky. It made me feel- free. "Yes."

He was on me in a second, the fire, the passion, that hot burning sensation pressing into my lips. His hands roamed my lower back, he gripped my waist so hard I thought be could snap me in two right there. He probed my lips apart with his tongue, asking permission for entry. I allowed it, God help me. Suddenly I was pinned against a tree, he brought my thigh up and pressed it against his hip. My stomach exploded into little butterflies, my heart felt like it might give out at any second. All of a sudden my arms were wrapped around his neck and I was pulling him closer. I moaned into his mouth as we moved around each other, matching our rhythms.

We shouldn't be doing this. It was a thought, just a simple passing thought as I allowed myself to give back into him. He pulled away from me, breathless as I was. He looked at me, eyes deep and intense. I recognized that look in his eye. "You heard that didn't you?" He only nodded.

Then he was off of me and 3 feet away. I felt him put up all his barriers, brush his jacket down with his hands and turn up his collar. Like nothing ever happened. He stared at me coldly, calculating. "We need to go."

I blinked. "Where?" I was still Damon-ed out. My brain wasn't working like it should've been.

"Georgia. I think I know what's happening to us, and if you have any sense you'll want to stop it." He looked like a pillar, tall and unwavering. I was going with him, it didn't matter what I said or how loud I screamed.

So all I said was, " What's happening Damon?" I could hear the exhaustion in my voice, I could feel the darkness spreading through my consciousness .

He walked over to me, letting me lean my weight into him and I began to see spots. He sighed, the same tiredness I was feeling weighing on his breath. "I think it's a vampire thing. We have to get a move on before the, uh, the coven moves on." He was fighting whatever this was better than i was.

I couldn't get words out. My body went limp. What vampire thing?

I think our souls might be bonding. I heard him reply in my mind. Then the darkness swallowed me.

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Hey!!! Thank you so much for reading.

This is a long one I know. But I felt like some regular screening for teenage drama needed to be added in. I know this is kind of filler, but oooo, what's Y/Ns secret end game? And why's Damon being so sketchy?

Requests are open!

Comment and let me know what you think of the story so far!

Masterlist

[blackdollette]

reader who needs like at least 3 orgasms to be "done" and a highly sensitive chris who is trying so hard to hold back but has come like 6 times while shes only came 2 times :3

ohhh yes!!!

"got me feeling so much right now." | chris kenton

in my feelings. - lana del rey

✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @si1nful-symph0ny @livingdead-materialgirl @romanroyapoligist @ohyams-25 @oliviah-25

female!reader x chris

word count: 589

contents: unprotected p in v, oversimulation

his strained moans fueled your desire to have yet another orgasm on his leaky cock. he had passed his limit long ago, now reaching a state where he was completely drunk on your pussy. but he knew that he had to keep himself together just for you, so the only thing he could do was watch you as you used him for pleasure.

no matter how many times you cummed, squirted, creamed and gushed on his poor cock, you still found yourself chasing another rush. “s-so close, chris… just one more” you managed to whimper out as your wet, sticky mess dripped down his length as his hard balls slapped against your hole. chris rocked his hips up into you in an attempt to bring you to your orgasm faster, but this only sent another shockwave through him, making him release another load into your dripping cunt.

you threw your head back at the feeling of being filled up once again, putting a hand on his shoulder for support. chris tried his best to hold in his high-pitched whimpers, but the sight of you using his cock like this along with the feeling of your warm, tight pussy wrapped around him allowed them to slip from his parted lips.

you bounced yourself up and down on him even faster, failing to maintain a steady pace. chris was too far gone to be able to process a single thought. he was whimpering silent little “i love you…” or “feels so good…” as he mindlessly toyed with your pulsating bud. you could hear the lewd sound of movement underneath you, the whole situation making your entire body heat up.

you watched as chris squirmed and struggled underneath you. his warm precum made the perfect lube, allowing you to move up and down with ease. he threw his head back as a low groan emerged from his chest. his hands found your hips and he started moving you up and down on his raw cock. the pleasure was excruciatingly overwhelming for him, but he just couldn’t get enough.

he dumped huge loads into you, orgasm after orgasm, but you still weren’t satisfied. you could feel his body trembling underneath you, and the way his cock twitched helplessly inside of your tight walls. he stirred his length around your tight cunt, making you shudder. your skin slapped together at a rapid pace as you finally felt that blissful sensation coming once again.

he grabbed your hips firmly, surely leaving crescent-shaped marks all over you. you let out choked moans and whimpers as you felt your pussy clenched around his length. he moved his fingers back to your swollen clit, rubbing quick circles onto it as you rode him. you got louder as the knot in your stomach grew tighter by the second.

you leaned forward and moved your lips to his, making him swallow every one of your sweet sounds. and with that, your back arched as you reached your final orgasm. the long, drawn-out sensation made your eyes well with tears. he fucked you through your high, your pussy having drained every last drop of cum out of him, making this final orgasm completely dry for him.

you collapsed onto him, becoming a shaky mess as you desperately tried to catch your breath. after you finally came down from your high, you realized how rapid his heartbeat was. you looked up and saw him, passed out underneath you. you felt a twinge of pity for him, but he asked for it.

author's note: sorry this one took a while :(( but i hope you all enjoyed it!

[myosotisa]

Talk It Good - e.m. - part 1

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Bartender!Reader

‖  summary: Eddie Munson, rockstar and worldwide fuckboy, winds up in your quiet bar the night after a show. You get to talking with him and end up learning more than you bargained for.

‖  notes: implied fem!Reader, angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol consumption. no y/n, no pronouns. 2nd part will contain discussions of sexual content and discussions of dubcon.

‖  word count: 3.1k

‖  part 2 ‖  cross posted on ao3 ‖

There was something about being on the closing shift that was immensely gratifying. Especially on weeknights.

While it meant you were thrown into the deep end the moment you stepped into the door, you preferred that to having it slow and easy until you were just getting ready to leave and then getting rushed. It also worked out well for your boss after he promoted you to a shift lead – he worked the afternoon shift and then went home to his wife and kids. Leaving you to close the place out 6 days a week. The bartenders he’d hired to help you on busier days and around events respected you and overall, it felt like a pretty good gig. Enough to pay the rent you split with your roommate in the city and put food on the table.

Tonight, you were working alone. It was a Wednesday night and the place was real slow which was nice, because yesterday had been a shitshow. There had been a sold out metal show a couple blocks over and the place was packed before, during, and after the show. A busier night than you had ever experienced since you started working there a year and a half ago. Your boss had ended up staying to work a double and one of the part time bartenders had come in, and the 3 of you together were still swamped. After a night like that, having almost no one around was a blessing.

There were a couple of people milling around, mostly pairs of business partners getting a drink after work or a date or a couple of friends getting together. There was 1 lonely guy sitting at your bar but he had made it very clear he wasn’t interested in talking. Fine with you. You were in charge of the playlist coming through the bass-heavy speakers and that was better than listening to some drunk dude talk about his problems.

You were crouched down by the laptop, queuing up your next few songs of choice, when you heard the telltale sound of one of your barstools being dragged out. Bracing your hands on your knees, you pushed yourself upright with a huff to greet them when your voice caught in your throat.

Wide, brown eyes peered back at you from across the counter as soon as you appeared. He looked familiar, alarmingly so, but that wasn’t the main thing that caught your attention. He looked nervous as he made eye contact, to a level it could almost be considered fear in his eyes.

“Howdy,” you offered with a kind smile, which seemed to immediately put him more at ease. “What can I getcha?”

“An Old Fashioned, please.” His voice was a bit rough around the edges and matched the rest of his aesthetic a bit more than his eyes. He was wearing all black, a plain t-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders. His hair looked long and wiry but was pulled back behind his head, leaving only his wispy bangs across his forehead and a single curl hanging in front of his ear. Both ears were pierced but currently without jewelry. In fact, the only thing he had on that was discernible beyond the black ink tattoos trailing down his lithe arms was a silver chain around his neck.

Still racking your brain for why he looked so familiar, you busied yourself with pulling out a glass instead. “Choice of whiskey?”

He leaned a bit closer, his painted forearms resting on the counter with his hands clasped. “Whatever you got top shelf is fine.”

“You got it, handsome.” You threw him a wink as you turned for the bottle and were delighted to come back to him with a bashful smile gracing his pouty lips. While you had thrown out that line way more than a few times to people, especially men who ordered liquor from the top shelf without asking what it cost, you generally didn’t tend to mean it. But this guy – even though he looked like he was trying to hide in a crowd, was still downright pretty.

You could feel his eyes on your hands as you muddled a sugar cube with the bitters and a bit of water at the bottom of the glass, leaving the pestle off to the side to wash, added a small pile of ice cubes, and then poured a generous amount of Sazerac 18 Year Old Rye on top. Finishing it off with a slice of an orange and a cocktail cherry, you were about to slide it across to him when he asked, “Actually, could I get 2 cherries? Please?”

A soft warmth bloomed in your chest at his earnest tone, the softly added please. You were a sucker for a guy with manners. “Well, just because you asked so nicely,” you replied with a teasing smile, knowing you would have given him them anyway even if he hadn’t said please. You plopped another cherry on top with your little tongs and slid it across to him with a practiced ease. “Top Shelf Old Fashioned, extra cherry for the man in black. Wanna start a tab?”

“Sure, thanks. ID or card? It seems different everywhere.”

“Either’s fine,” you assured him, side stepping a few paces to place your used tools into the sink you used to wash dishes when you were working on your own. “Travel a lot, I take it?” You watched carefully to see how he reacted to the question, wanting to get a feel of if he was here to talk or just here to drink. But you also couldn’t deny that there was a part of you that was curious about him and the careful way he held himself.

“You could say that,” he replied with a smile that implied he didn’t exactly like it that way, a credit card held towards you from between his knuckles. You pinched it between your own fingers and pulled it away from him, couldn’t pretend you didn’t notice it was one of those fancy, heavy metal ones. It didn’t fit with the patterns you had picked up over the months. Normally cards like these belonged to people like those business men drinking their scotch, neats over at one of the booths, or the trust fund kids that waved it around to buy shots for the bar on daddy’s money after one too many. This guy was late 20s, early 30s, too scruffy to be in business, too polite and earnest to be a trust fund kid. Maybe some crypto-millionaire kid who got lucky young? But even then, those kinds didn’t travel a lot, at least, not to cities like this.

“So how long are you in town?” You continued on, not yet getting a feeling for him and what he wanted.

“Week or so,” he tapped the tips of heavily calloused fingers against his condensated glass. “What about you? Live here long?”

“Three years, give or take. Enough to get a lay of the land but still find out new things every once in a while.” He nodded, eyes falling to his drink as he gave it a stir using the corner of the orange peel before taking a sip. Not sure why, but a small part of you seeked his approval, so you asked, “To your taste?”

“Perfect, actually. Thank you…?” He paused and motioned with his hand like he wanted your name to complete his sentence. Blinking a few times in surprise, you told him what it was, which brought a soft smile to quirk up the corners of his mouth. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’d say the same but I think I would need to know your name first,” you tried to tease him again, wanting to see if he’d get all flustered like before, but then that fear trickled back into his expression. Too fast to be casual, your eyebrows drew together in concern and you rushed to say, “You don’t have to tell me anythin’ you don’t want to. Just thought it would be the polite thing to ask.”

Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed, he tried to chuckle off the sudden awkwardness that had appeared. “That’s alright, really. Name’s Eddie.”

The name rang a bell, the same inkling that had been on your mind when you’d first seen his face. You let it bounce around in your head for a bit, trying to see if you could come to any conclusions, but stopped short when you saw the way he was looking at you. Nervous, like before, but also a bit shy. Like he was expecting a bad reaction from you after learning his name. You couldn’t possibly think of why until it hit you.

Eddie Munson. The rockstar. Him and his band, Corroded Coffin, had been the ones playing last night, that all the people were talking about. You recognized his face from magazines – he’d been on the covers of half the rags on the stand at one time or another. America’s bad boy with an asshole reputation. A ladies man who partied hard and was photographed with a different girl leaving his hotel every other day. He was missing the leather, the chains, the earrings, his trademark rings, but it was him alright.

Which really made you confused. This guy wasn’t anything like that. The Eddie in the tabloids was an attention seeker with a penchant for violent outbursts: loud, crude, mean. Wrecking hotel rooms, breaking people’s hearts, and doing it all with a grin that made girls throw their panties on stage. He was still just as attractive as the internet made him out to be, maybe even more so, but this guy was nice, normal. At least had been so far.

Ignoring your realization completely to deal with later, you found yourself asking, “So where do you call home when you aren’t traveling?”

And so the two of you talked for the better part of 3 hours. You’d taken breaks to serve other patrons and refill his Old Fashioned, but always made your way back to his side of the bar. He was funny, even a little bit goofy as he got more comfortable joking around with you. He asked thoughtful questions about you that weren’t too deep or prying and you tried to do the same, ignoring when he would skirt around some answers more than others. He seemed to think you still didn’t know who he was and was working hard to hide it. While you didn’t know why, you were fine to let him keep thinking that as long as he kept laughing with you.

“So,” you were pouring out a batch of mixer that would be expired by tomorrow, looking up at him through your eyelashes, “what would you say is your patron sin?”

Intrigued by the topic change but also confused, he asked, “Patron sin?”

“Yeah, like if you had to pick one of the 7 Deadly Sins and say which one you struggle with the most, what do you choose?” The corner of his mouth turned up immediately and his pink lips parted but you interrupted, “And if you say Lust, you’re no fun.” His face immediately dropped, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. “Everybody always wants to say Lust, it’s against the spirit of the question.”

A fingertip circled the lip of his watered down Old Fashioned as he studied you. “You ask people this question a lot?”

Your shoulders lifted in a small shrug. “Mostly with friends at parties. I think it tells you a lot about a person. Or maybe there’s just some part of me that likes making people take a look at the worst parts of themselves for fun.”

“Jesus H. Christ, you really are trouble, aren’t you?” His shoulders shook with a laugh as he averted eye contact to look over the bar again. “Hmm. Well, if you’d asked me this question in school, I would’ve said Sloth for sure. Nowadays…” He trailed off, his eyebrows drawing together like he was really trying to think about it. Which you appreciated. There was some part of you that always liked it when people took it seriously. “I think it’d be Pride.”

Letting out a hum of thought, you could imagine it was pretty easy for a rockstar to succumb to the sin of Pride. “Y’know, some circles say Pride is the worst sin of all,” he looked up at you then, his expression strangely aloof. “They say it’s the root of all other sins.”

“Oh, yeah?” His tone was dry, humorless. “Guess that means I win, right?”

You let out a stiff laugh too, reaching for a rag to wipe down the counter out of habit. “Somethin’ like that.”

“What about you?” You met his eye contact again, feeling a bit confused. “It’s only fair, after all. What’s your patron sin?”

“Oh.” You paused, not used to being asked the same question in return. You knew what it was, it just wasn’t often that someone actually asked for the answer. “Uh, Envy.”

Eyebrows raised in intrigue again, he leaned forward with his long fingers steepled in front of him. “You the jealous type?”

Flushing against your will, mad at yourself for being so easily affected by his charm, you leveled a glare at him. “Yeah, so what? Not like I get a choice in the matter.”

“Just wouldn’t have thought you were the type, is all,” he leaned back again, looking incredibly pleased with himself for some reason. You were just about to open your mouth and rip into him for his prideful nature when you caught sight of a nervous blonde approaching him from behind. He noticed your eyes directed over his shoulder and he seemed to tense up immediately.

“Excuse me, Eddie?”

It was like watching a switch get flipped. His spine straightened, his shoulders setting – like he was trying to make himself look bigger, take up more space. “Yeeess?” His tone changed too as he spun on his stool towards her, his mouth tilting in a sly grin. As soon as he was facing her, her cheeks flushed tomato red and she shifted her weight between her high heels.

“Sorry to bother you, I’m a really big fan,” her voice wavered, her smile wide. “Do you think I could take a picture with you?”

“For a sweet thing like you? Absolutely.”

The purr in his tone made you borderline uncomfortable, but it seemed to be enough to send her into nervous giggles. You pushed yourself further down the bar, not wanting to get caught in the background as she raised her phone with a shaky hand to take a selfie with him. She gushed about his concert last night and how she was already saving up to buy tickets for the next one while you busied yourself washing dishes. He didn’t say much of anything, mostly just thanked her for her rush of compliments and hummed and ahh’d until she excused herself back to her table, barely able to contain her excitement.

You watched carefully as he waited until she was sitting again, her back to him, until he exhaled. It took half of his presence with him as he shrunk forward and tipped back the rest of his watered down whiskey and bitters. He set the glass back on the counter and swiped both hands on the condensation, rubbing his damp palms across his face roughly. Inching back over, you put your rag back under the counter and asked, “Another?”

His hands dropped instantly, wide, brown eyes on you again. “Oh, uh, no. I’m good. Thank you.” You offered an awkward smile as you took the glass and slid it over towards the other dirties. “Listen, about that… I just-”

“I know who you are,” you interrupted, assuming he was about to try to explain the interaction.

He blinked a few times like he was shocked. “You… you do?”

Annoyance prickled at the base of your neck. “Yeah, do you think I live under a rock or something?”

“No, no,” he rushed to try to assuage the sudden tension in you. “It’s just that, you didn’t…”

The annoyance bloomed, your jaw setting in tension. “I didn’t, what? React? Fall all over you as soon as I saw you?” His mouth opened and closed a few times, looking at a total loss for words. “Well, sorry to disappoint, Mr. Rockstar.”

“That’s not what I meant,” his voice was quick, unsure, but that did little to settle your growing ire.

“What did you mean then? Did I ruin your little game?” Hot air bubbled up as you tossed a half cut lime in the trash can behind you. “I bet you were all excited to rope me in with your charm and your money. Make me your next one night fling to get photographed leaving your hotel in the morning.” You scoffed, refusing to make eye contact with him as you continued. “Y’know, I bet you like service workers, pick 'em out on purpose. Tell them pretty lies about what you can buy them while they’re living on tips to get by. They’re used to serving men like you, right? Probably would do anything you wanted if you just asked ‘em the right way, huh?”

When you finally looked up at him, his face was stone. Unreadable. His teeth clenched tight. Like he was waiting for you to finish. So you did.

“Well, if that was your plan, you’d be better off going with blondie with the selfie. Because it’s sure as hell's not gonna be me.”

A moment of quiet tension rang out, almost like there was no other sound in the bar. “Right,” he replied softly, eyes downcast as he pulled at his wallet. “Well, uh, sorry for taking up so much of your time.”

If he’d lost half of his presence when his fan walked away, the Eddie after your little speech was a shell of a man. All of the color, all of the life drained out of him like water. It poked a hole in your attitude, causing a bit of you to deflate, your heart to twitch a bit in your chest. He’s been nothing but nice to me, why did I do that? He did absolutely nothing to deserve that.

Your own shoulders fell, biting your lip as you stepped toward him again. “Eddie, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“No, no, you’re right.” Pulled a $100 bill out of his wallet, set it on the counter between you. “Keep the change. Have a good night.”

And then he was gone, never looking back once.

Gingerly taking the crisp blue bill between your fingertips, more than double what the drinks had cost him, and glancing over at the credit card he’d left in his hurry to leave, you squeezed your eyes closed and heaved a sigh.

Great job, idiot.

this was originally going to be a one-shot, but now it's 1 part angst, 1 part hurt/comfort. blame @jo-harrington. let me know what you think and your predictions for part 2!

[starrgaziinggg]

SMAU | undercover JYP-U

directory | next part ->

chapter 34 -> a night to remember

Walking out of the exam hall on Friday afternoon had you feeling ecstatic. It had been a long two weeks, not only considering exam prep. With the account revealing Jeongin's 'secret', your mind hadn't been able to solely focus on studying.

You had no idea who was running this account. Revealing your friend group's secrets was one thing, but to lie about Jeongin stealing exam answers was something else entirely. It took on a whole new malicious level of thinking, and you had no idea who would hate you all enough to do something like that.

Disregarding those thoughts to the back of your mind, you had said your farewells to Minho, Lix and Hyunjin as you and Chae had walked back towards your dorm to get ready for the party. Hyunjin had told you the boys spent hours putting up decorations in their dorm, trying their best to reign in the Halloween theme for Ryujin.

"I'm so fucking glad that exams are over," Chae sighs, practically skipping along the street as you descend towards the guys dorm.

It had taken you both three hours to get ready, after returning from your exam. The other girls had started an hour before you'd even arrived.

"You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to getting drunk tonight," she continued, spinning around in her costume. Ryujin had planned Harry Potter themed outfits for her, Yuna, Chae and Lia, and while the former three girls looked incredible, poor Lia was still stuffed in her bed with the flu.

"Oh girl," you chuckle, watching your friend smile back at you with glee, laughing when Yuna attempts to push Ryujin into a bush in front of you. "I know exactly how you feel."

And you did. The only things on your mind were 1. To have fun and wash away the stress of exams tonight and 2. To find out what monster was behind this account.

You knew it was taking a toll on your friends, too. Jeongin, the usually chirpy boy with the biggest, 'I don't give a fuck' mindset out of anyone of your friends, had been reduced to a shell of himself after his so called secret was leaked. You, Hyunjin and Minho had sat with him for hours consoling him and trying to figure out a way to navigate the situation.

What you couldn't wrap your head around was why the account would lie about Jeongin's 'secret'. It made no sense considering everything else they had revealed was fact. It threw a spanner in the works for you, and it was hard to pin the blame on anyone.

"Wait till you see the guys in their costumes," Ryujin claps her hands, grinning like a maniac. She'd spent hours choosing which costumes to give them, since none of them had the time (nor the energy) to choose them themselves. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave her in charge. At least, some of the boys would definitely agree. She'd been especially brutal with Changbin's outfit, all things considered.

Walking into the boys dorm, what could only be described as chaos ensued. Ryujin had clearly spared no expense, and you counted Hyunjin lucky that you'd forced Ryujin to let him do a couples costume with you and keep him out of her evil scheme.

Jeongin was jumping from furniture to furniture, pretending to shoot webs out of his hands while Chan shouted at him. Chan's costume might have been your favourite as you stood clinging to Ryujin as laughter overcomes you. It might have been, but when you turned to your left and caught a glimpse of Changbin, your opinion quickly changed. Ryujin literally collapsed into a heap on the floor laughing at him.

"I know we've had our fair share of disagreements, but really Jin?" Changbin whines, tapping a crumpled Ryujin with a cowboy boot. "Look at the state of me!"

Minho pops up out of nowhere to stab Changbin's neck at that point, manically laughing when Changbin rubs at the spot Minho's fake weapon had attempted to impale him. You shake your head at their antics, smiling when a pair of toned arms wrap around your torso.

"You look sexy as fuck," Hyunjin says lowly into your ear, placing a kiss against your cheek as he spins you in his arms.

"Watch the makeup!" You laugh, shaking your head and giving him a once over. If he thought you looked hot, he was something else entirely. You decided to give him a proper kiss, placing your lips against his momentarily.

"Ew," you hear Jeongin say from Chan's confinements after being forced back onto two feet firmly on the ground. "Get a room!"

You roll your eyes at the younger boy, grabbing Hyunjin's hand and pulling him towards the kitchen. You hear the music start playing and can only assume Jisung has managed to connect to the speaker.

"I'm serious," Hyunjin says into your ear from behind you, placing his hands on your hips and spinning you around to face him. You hear a chorus of 'ooh's from your friends; Ryujin, Felix, Yuna, and Chan in the kitchen. You flip them off without a second thought.

"Yeah yeah, I'm hot, move on," you say cheekily, giving him a grin. Hyunjin just shakes his head at you, pulling out ingredients to create your favourite cocktail. "Mojito?"

"Of course," he replies, expertly concocting the drink you love so much. "I bought the ingredients yesterday just for you."

"Don't act like it's not your favourite too," you point out, to which he puts up his hands in defeat. You watch as Ryujin busts into the kitchen with her camera, giggling like a maniac.

"Pose for a picture! I'm gonna post all our costumes as a competition and see who gets the most likes," she explains, ushering you to Hyunjin's side and making you both turn around to face her. You roll your eyes with a smile, leaning into the tall man beside you and making a peace sign.

Just before Ryujin snaps the image, Hyunjin presses his lips to your cheek, making you grin. The flash goes off, and Ryujin audibly squeals when she sees the photo she's taken.

"You guys are ridiculously cute, look," she says, turning the camera to show you both the image. Hyunjin wraps an arm round you, giving the photo a thumbs up.

"You're so talented, Jinni," he says in approval, which you nod at. "If we don't win I'll be pissed."

"Mojitos!" Yuna interrupts then, bounding up to you and Hyunjin and giving him a pout. "One for me?"

Hyunjin shakes his head smiling, bringing out a third glass. "Whatever you wish."

Yuna sends you a grin before pointing at Ryujin, the latter attempting to take a picture of Jeongin whilst he springs around the room. You can't help but laugh at your friends antics, thankful your mind has been well and truly taken away from all the drama this semester had caused you.

"Stay still!" Ryujin shouts, furiously moving her camera to track Jeongin's position. Seungmin walks into the kitchen then, so Ryujin turns her attention onto him instead, making him pose.

"Aren't you the cutest," Yuna compliments when Seungmin's finished, pinching his cheeks. He swats at her, rolling his eyes. Hyunjin hands both you and Yuna your cocktails, which you thank him for with a peck.

"Yeah, well I got it better than some of the other guys. Chan's saying his frat bros have a Halloween themed party going on and want us to join, but Changbin's refusing to be seen by anyone else in his costume," he explains, nodding to Changbin who's sulking in the kitchen corner as Ryujin takes his picture, too.

"A frat party?" You question, sending Seungmin a raised eyebrow. "Do we not recall how the last one went down?"

You point at the subtle scar on your cheek for good measure, which Yuna pouts at, giving it a kiss.

"You're beautiful," she says with a grin, which you stick your tongue out at. "But yeah, as much as I'd love to see Chan's gorgeous frat friends again, I dunno if it's a good idea."

"You know I'd usually agree, but Chan says there's not a lot of people there, since they had their actual big Halloween party on Saturday. This is just a small costume party for the frat guys and their close friends," Seungmin informs you, shrugging his shoulders.

Hyunjin turns to you with a shrug. "I'd be down. I wouldn't be surprised if Alex has already messaged me about it," he says, referring to one of his friends that's also a member of the frat. You'd been informed by Hyunjin later on that he was the one that had driven you to the hospital that one time. "But if you're not up for it, we don't need to go."

He turns to you, and you sigh. "Oh, what the fuck, why not. It would be nice for you and Chan to see your friends again. Plus, we could all use a good night. As long as that guy Changbin fought isn't there."

"Nah, Chan said he was some guy from a rival frat," Yuna says with a grimace, shivering. "Was winding him up all night apparently. Anyway, that's a no go topic for tonight. This is post exam, audition and drama stress fun."

She gives you a wink as Hyunjin cocks his head at the blonde. "How did your audition go, anyway?"

Yuna had already informed you how her audition for the end of year showcase the drama department put on had gone, after it had happened. The play that had been chosen was Legally Blonde, so obviously Yuna was gunning for the lead.

"Excellently, of course," she replied with a flick of her hair. "I think the recent drama gave me a good edge to my performance."

Hyunjin laughs at her, but Seungmin says nothing, just grabbing his phone where it was placed on the counter. "Let's tell the others we're gonna go, yeah?"

Nodding in reply, you walk through to the living area of the boys dorm. Jeongin's finally pulled his mask down, bleach blonde hair fluffy atop his head. He was desperate to get it dyed back, his roots growing out quickly. Hyunjin was much the same, though you'd admitted to him you liked the blonde locks, and forced him to keep it just a little longer.

"Ryujin, I love you, but I'm changing before we go," Felix says, shouting through to her whilst running into his room. Changbin groans at that, digging his heels into the carpet with a pout. You chuckle, taking your jacket from Hyunjin and thanking him.

"I want to change too! Chan, please can we go back to ours?" He pleads, giving the older man his best puppy eyes. Chan shakes his head absentmindedly.

"No can do. Felix!" He shouts, though Felix reappears instantly, sporting a hoodie and baggy jeans. "Oh. Excellent timing. Let's go, everyone!"

"Yes dad," Jisung groans, pulling the witch hat off of his head and chucking it on the ground before leaving the boys dorm. You watch Ryujin give him a glare, complaining she spent good money on that, before heading to the front of the pack with Chae, Chan, Minho and Felix.

"This outfit better pull me mad chicks tonight," Jeongin says, hanging back with you and Hyunjin as you follow the same route to your sister university. Hyunjin shakes his blonde head at him.

"You do realise you need actual rizz to pull chicks, right?" He berates the younger boy, ruffling his hair with a grin.

"Fuck off, Hyunjin," Jeongin whines, pulling away from his older friend. "You clearly have no rizz, since you two haven't even -"

"Okay!" You shout, pushing the younger boy away and watching him turn around with a devious smirk. "Ignore him, he thinks he's invincible in that Spider-Man costume."

Hyunjin chuckles, not saying much as you cross the road to the frats. As Seungmin had mentioned, the frat wasn't brimming with drunk college students like the last time you were here. It appeared much more civilised, Chan's friend greeting you at the door and ushering you in, with maybe twenty people drinking casually and chatting around the large entryway.

"Plenty of drinks in the kitchen," his friend grins, chucking an arm around Chan as you all start to mingle. "Yuna, Sungwoon's been talking about you nonstop, he's outside."

Yuna gives a happy squeal, giving you a wave before making a beeline outdoors. Jeongin pulls you towards the kitchen area with Felix, and before you get a second to think you're downing shots with them. Taking note of the fact Hyunjin's standing with Alex, you make three drinks and head in their direction, passing the two men their glasses.

"Thanks, angel," Hyunjin smiles, giving you a kiss on the cheek. He slings an arm around you comfortably, and you appreciate how easy it is to be with him. You didn't know what you expected, being official with Hyunjin, but it was honestly better than you could have imagined.

"Yeah, cheers," Alex thanks you, clinking your glasses. "I'm actually glad you guys are finally together. Hyunnie boy wouldn't shut up about you for months."

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, pushing his friend with a laugh. "Yep, shut up Alex."

Raising an eyebrow, you squint your eyes at Hyunjin. "Months, eh?"

"Don't let it get to your head," he smirks, giving Alex the evils.

The next couple hours are spent chatting to more of Alex's friends, which had become Hyunjin'a friends by association, sprawled out on the comfortable sofas in the living area. The girls dip in and out, coming to chat periodically before getting swept away again.

After a while, you feel yourself start to yawn, the stress of exams evidently taking their toll. Hyunjin saunters up to you, making Jeongin gag from his spot beside you on the sofa, instantly fleeing the scene.

"Hey babe," he grins, pecking your cheek. Smiling back, you pull your knees to your chest, leaning into him. "Tired?"

"Mhm," you sigh back. "Those all nighters have fucked me up big."

He laughs, patting your head fondly. "Wanna come back to the dorm with me? I'm shattered too, but these freaks don't seem like they're leaving any time soon."

He nods his head towards your friends, scattered around the frat. You can't help but smile at them, most of them still in their costumes, chatting and drinking. It was your favourite thing to see, then having fun. To Hyunjin, you nod sleepily.

"Sounds good to me. Let me say bye to the girls," you say, heaving yourself off the sofa and wandering off in Yuna's direction. She notices you straight away, pulling you in for a side hug - evidently blasted.

"Peeling off early with your boy toy?" She raises her eyebrows mischievously, placing your face in her hands. "Don't blame you. My guy's gone to sleep already, idiot."

"Where's Ryujin?" You say in between laughter, taking the odd alcoholic concoction out of Yuna's hands and pulling her into the kitchen.

"No clue to be honest," she says, downing the water you give her. "Saw her last maybe an hour ago?"

"She just messaged saying she's alright," Chae chirps, joining you both. "Like five minutes ago? Dunno where she actually is though."

"Aw, let her have her fun," Yuna swats her hand, tilting her head. "After everything with Changbin she deserves a bit of freedom."

"My thoughts exactly," you agree, winking at Chae who laughs. "Anyway, get home safe, message me when your back, and let me know how Lia is. See you guys in the morning?"

The girls hug you, bidding their farewells. You wave bye to Jeongin, Chan and Jisung, the only of the guys you can see, before meeting Hyunjin at the entrance and leaving. You both spend the short walk home chatting about the night, keeping both your spirits high.

"Did you see Felix like, at all?" Hyunjin asks while he uses his key card to unlock the door to his dorm. "I swear I saw him once and then he disappeared."

"Honestly I feel like everyone split off to mingle pretty early on," you reply lazily, kicking off your shoes and jacket. It was almost eerie how quiet Hyunjin's dorm was, usually bustling with all the boys. "It was nice to talk to your friends, though."

"Yeah, they seemed to like you a lot," he grins, turning and placing his hands on your hips. "Not surprised though, with a face like yours."

"Oh, that's all I am, huh?" You say slyly. "A pretty face?"

"And a beautiful dancer, a smartass, a funny little thing..." he berates you, which you hit him on the shoulder for. He only shakes his head. "Seriously though? How lucky am I to call you mine, yeah?"

"Im yours now, am I?" You raise an eyebrow, letting him pull you closer towards him.

He rolls his eyes dramatically, inching forward. "If you're willing to be stuck with me."

You grin, tilting your head. "Right back at you."

He ends your back at forth by kissing you, a hand placed on your cheek, simultaneously moving you backwards to his room. Giggling between kisses, you turn the handle to his door and watch him kick it shut behind him, deepening the kisses and moving you to sit on his bed.

You pull apart, watching his handsome face stare down at you with a smile. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're stunning," he says instantly, not missing a beat. "And I thoroughly enjoy looking at you. You do need to take that face makeup off though, because it's completely smudged."

"So is yours!" You laugh, placing a thumb over his lips and smudging it even more. "Fuck, no makeup remover here."

"Come again?" Hyunjin says, holding up a bottle of makeup remover and cotton pads. You furrow your eyebrows in astonishment.

"You have makeup remover?" You ask shocked as he hands you it whilst removing his own makeup.

"I dunno," he says once he's finished. "I bought some stuff you might need incase you stay over. Dorm full of boys, not much feminine equipment here."

You laugh as you finish removing your own makeup, setting everything down on his bedside table.

"How considerate of you," you smile when he sits next to you on the bed. He rolls his eyes.

"It's more of an excuse so you stay more."

"Oh yeah?" You respond slyly before he starts kissing you again, a hand moving to your cheek. You stay like that for a while until you take the initiative, playing with the hem of his tshirt.

"What's this?" Hyunjin says with a smirk, breaking away from you momentarily to look at your hands.

"What?" You say with a giggle, shrugging shyly. "Is it so wrong of me to want to take your top off?"

"You first," he nods, which you hit him for with a laugh. "Seriously though, are you sure you're okay to take this further?"

You squint at him. "Do I look like I'm not sure?"

"Baby," he sighs, tilting his head. "I'm just making sure you want this. God help me, you must know how much I want you."

You feel a tingle down your spine at his words, but you play it cool, smiling up at Hyunjin.

"I want you right back," you reply, nodding to solidify your certainty. He laughs at you, shaking his head.

"And you're not drunk?" He says seriously.

"I stopped drinking hours ago. Stop stalling, dickhead," you say, pushing his shoulder gently.

"Okay, okay, I guess I'm just nervous," he says with a shaky laugh, and you tilt your head at him. "Come on. I know you've heard the rumours about me on campus hell, even from our friends. I don't want you to have expectations here because frankly I have very low confidence on how long I'm gonna last."

You chuckle at him, taking his face in your hands. "I don't care about your sex god rumours, Hyun."

This seems to give him some confidence, because with a final shake of his head, he's kissing you again, slowly pushing you down onto his bed. He kisses your neck, hard enough to leave marks which you'll kill him for in the morning but right now you just don't care.

"I have no idea when the guys will be back," he says breathlessly as he pulls away from your neck.

"Better make this quick then," you smirk, almost confused at how easy this feels. In the past, your sexual encounters had been rushed, messy one night stands or awkward fifth date endings. You'd never felt so many feelings towards someone you were intimate with before, and it made all the difference.

"Next time, I promise I will take my time with you," he says, reattaching himself on your chest, moving your top to the side to give him access.

"Next time?" You say breathlessly, which he rolls his eyes at, pulling you towards him to remove your tshirt and his own, and Jesus - this boy should take his top off more often. His toned stomach, defined biceps...the list goes on.

"Trust me," he whispers, unclasping your bra and throwing it on the floor. He looks up at you, puppy eyes that draw you in immediately. "There's gonna be a next time."

And you're entranced, watching him work his magic on your body, hands and tongue everywhere. He pulls down your skirt, and then your underwear, and you don't feel insecure for even a second when he attaches himself to your core, spreading open your legs. Your hands fly straight to his hair, tugging at the blonde strands without a coherent thought.

"Hyunjin," you groan, lifting his head up to face you. "I want you, now. Before anyone gets back."

He smirks, his classic smirk, wetness dripping from his lips. "Don't have to tell me twice."

After removing his jeans and boxers, he rolls on a condom, aligning himself, an arm propping himself up by your head. He leans in, kissing you gently.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, using his other hand to move the stray hair from your face and rubbing your cheek with his thumb. "I can't wait until I can spend hours making you feel good."

This man. He made you feel so ridiculously turned on it should be a crime. He pushes into you slowly, not leaving your eyes as he does so. The stretch is manageable, but you wince nonetheless, his hand intertwining with yours immediately.

"You're okay," he says, a statement that makes you feel at ease instantly. "Tell me if it hurts."

"It's okay," you smile, pecking his lips quickly. "You can move."

It takes a minute of his slow movements for you to get used to his size, but once you do, the pleasure is unmatched. He finds a rhythm that works for the both of you, hitting the spot deep inside of you that has you whining his name and your eyes rolling back. He places a hand on the headboard of his bed, increasing his pace when he sees how much you enjoy it.

"You feel so fucking amazing," he groans, dipping down to kiss you as much as he can through your breathlessness. "Fucking hell, you have no idea how hard it is to hold back right now."

"Then don't," you say instantly, prioritising his pleasure over yours. You definitely had heard the stories on campus of Hyunjin - one in which he was the only guy who had made a girl finish in her life before, so you knew he'd make it up to you. Right now, all you wanted was for him to let go.

"Fuck, don't say that," he shakes his head, moving a hand to grip your waist as he pulls himself inside and out of you rapidly.

"Do it. Cum for me, Hyun," you all but whine, which seems to be his breaking point, he groans, thrusting into you hard a couple more times before slowing down and stilling inside of you.

"I hate you," he groans, face hidden in your shoulder. You laugh, catching your breath as your chest rises and falls. "I seriously hate you. I could have kept going."

And that's the moment the door to the boys dorm swings open and you hear the boys crashing in, completely smashed. Jeongin's distinct voice overpowers as he stumbles around the living room, complaining that daddy Chan removed him from the fun.

"Good thing you didn't," you smirk, a hand gently pulling through Hyunjin's blonde hair, which he laughs at, groaning as he untangles himself from you to dispose of the condom.

"Bro, you're smashed. Go to fucking bed," you hear Minho say to Jeongin, whilst Hyunjin pulls on his boxers and chucks you one of his large tshirts. You pull it on, laughing at the guys outside. There's a banging on Hyunjin's door then, which he rolls his eyes at.

"Hope you wore protection, sex lord!" Jeongin shouts through, Hyunjin replying with a, 'shut the fuck up.'

"Jeongin! Go to sleep!" Seungmin shouts from his room, Hyunjin flopping back into bed with you.

"I say we wait five before we go out to brush our teeth," Hyunjin chuckles, kissing you on the lips gently. "Hopefully by then Jeongin will have crashed."

"You want me to use your toothbrush?" You ask, an eyebrow raised.

"Hell no! I bought you your own," he fake gags. You smile at him sleepily, ruffling his hair.

"You're just the cutest," you coo. He swats at you in return, pulling you into his arms.

"Nah. All you."

"Gross!" Jeongin shouts. "Nobody wants to hear your declarations of love!"

You only shake your head at him, thankful for the man holding you. Everything may have gone to shit in the last two months, but at least one good thing had came out of it. And you weren't planning to get rid of him anytime soon.

@cursed-mars-bars @imasimplol @hyunverse @aestaeticous @dorisnumber1fan @amnmich @detectivedoodle @mara-mars @end0rchans @raresevng @nhyunn @lixie-phoria @beomgyusonlywife @seolarpower @cuddlethebear r @weird-bookworm @ceelestic @worcesheshestershiresauce @hyuneyeon @downbadreading @where-is-innie @its-hannjisung @weird0o0 @sxhxnax @moretinyideas eas @realrintaro @pinkcherryblossomangel el @tesywesy @beaann @cutesince2000 @lynlyndoll @furryenthusiastbread @nyasstars @eyearebee @lynlyndoll

[puppy-byun]

Just Friends...Unless...? | Pt. 2

pairing: Hyunjin x Reader / a sprinkle of Seonghwa x Reader

rating: 18+

word count: 10.5k

genre: smut / friends to lovers / angst / university au

warnings: drinking, curse words, angst, bad flirting

summary: You weren’t crushing on Hyunjin. You couldn’t be crushing on Hyunjin because you were just friends, and there was no way he would ever feel the same way about you. Right? Unless...?

note: no smut in this one, just angst and lots of miscommunication because they're really dumb..., also fuckboy!seonghwa who's purposely bad at flirting, theyre gonna get it together but they need 10.5k words of being jealous and dumb first...

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You woke up feeling fine for about half a second - then you remembered what had happened just few hours ago. Glancing at the alarm clock on your nightstand you cursed, knowing with a certainty that if you had only just woken up then Hyunjin, who had drunk way more, had missed his morning class for sure. He would be feeling bad about that for at least a week, practicing twice as hard to make up for it. But that wasn’t the point. He had crashed on your couch because you had not trusted him to get home on his own and it really wasn’t the first time he slept over. But things were definitely different now, because you did not want to see him freshly woken up, hair disheveled and uncombed, face puffy. You didn’t know how you would handle it hours after realizing you were still very much crushing on him.

But since Hyunjin was literally one of your closest friends and you couldn’t avoid him for long without it becoming weird, you decided it was best to get it over with. Dragging yourself out of bed you threw on an oversized shirt and pulled open your bedroom door, instantly catching the gaze of Chaeryoung, your roommate, who was leaning against the frame of her own bedroom door. She was clearly more put together than you were, hair done and properly dressed, one perfectly lined eyebrow raised.

“Really, on a Thursday?” she half whispered, half shouted through the room, and you rolled your eyes at her attitude, a sly grin spreading on your face.

“I didn’t even really drink, so don’t look at me like that.”

“Yeah but someone did,” she laughed, inclining her head towards Hyunjin, who had his face buried in a pillow and let out a pained groaned at the same moment.

“I think that was me,” he was grumbling into the sofa, raising one hand half-heartedly. You told yourself it was out of concern that you went straight to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, and not if only to avoid him for another moment, because that would be simply ridiculous. He was right there in your living room, so you would have to face him. You would have to talk if you wanted to salvage what was left to salvage after last night.

Sitting on the low living room table you held the glass out to him, grateful for another moment he spent whining into the pillow before he slowly sat up. It wasn’t fair, that he would look this good with a pout on his puffy lips, eyes swollen and hair a tangled mess on his head.

He didn’t immediately take the glass, looking at you instead, so intently you were sure he was trying to gauge some reaction. Was he looking for any indication on what you thought about last night? You were almost certain he would bring it up any second, but then he simply took the glass from your hands, chugging the whole thing in one go before he finally managed a lopsided, soft grin.

“Morning, bunny. Why do you look this pretty in the morning while I feel like a truck just ran over me?” He was always saying things like that and it really should not affect you. It was nothing out of the ordinary. But god, it hurt.

“First of all, stop lying. Secondly, maybe because I didn’t down every drink within grabbing distance unlike someone else.”

Another groan left his mouth and he slumped back into the couch in defeat.

“I don’t know why I thought that would be a good idea.”

You pressed your lips in a line, not sure how to respond because you knew what you should do was talk about what happened and just get it over with. If it really just was a stupid drunk idea, just a hook-up, you’d have to deal with it and you would, but you needed to know. You had stomped down this crush once already until you were certain it was gone. Throwing a quick glance at where Chaeryoung had been standing you assured yourself she was back in her bedroom and had closed the door before you continued.

“Actually, about last night…” you started, uncertain how to approach the topic without straight up saying ‘why did you finger me in a park?’. Hyunjin rubbed his palms over his eyes almost aggressively, head thrown back on the sofa. There was a pregnant pause, your unfinished sentence hanging in the air between you, waiting for him to pick it up. He opened his mouth once before he closed it, rubbing over his eyes again.

“I didn’t do anything stupid, right? You stopped me?” He still wasn’t looking at you, and for a moment you were desperately hoping he would add anything else. What did he expect you to say? Wasn’t it obvious what you wanted to talk about? Was it really so casual for him that he wouldn’t even mention it? You had never even seen him kiss a girl, let alone anything more, and knowing him the way you did you were sure he wasn’t the type to have hook ups this casual. Yes, he had been extremely drunk, but could he really just have forgotten? You didn’t think he had been that black-out drunk.

“I-“ you started, brain working twice as hard to find the right words. “I thought we-“

He was now looking at you from under his palms, one eyebrow raised, and his gaze was filled with honest confusion. He had forgotten. He had forgotten he had been making out with his best friend, and now you were left to deal with the aftermath all by yourself, while he didn’t even remember.

“Yeah, of course I kept you from doing something you’d regret,” you sighed, shoulders slumping ever so slightly in defeat. The change on his face was instant, a smile spreading and Hyunjin was beaming at you. It hurt, because he was looking you like you were his world, and you were, just not in the way you wanted to be.

“Knew I could always rely on you, that’s why you’re my favorite,” he went on, one fingertip booping the tip of your nose before he leant back with another pained groan, realizing it was too much movement too fast for his hungover body. You couldn’t bear to look at him any longer, chest clenching, so instead you got up, mumbling that you would bring him breakfast. It only took you barely ten minutes, but you savored the time you were left by yourself instead of looking at Hyunjin, which only made it all the much worse when you felt his hands wrap around your waist, chin comfortably settling on your shoulder.

“How do I deserve you again?”

His words did nothing but make you feel horribly empty, because whatever last night was, he didn’t mean it. He had kissed you and touched you because he was drunk and he was horny and for some reason it had been enough to make you crave him all over. Yet he didn’t even remember. If it had meant something for him, wouldn’t last night have been the perfect moment to say so? You had spent a whole walk to your dorm in silence, and not the comfortable kind. If there ever was a chance for him to mention that he liked you, it would have been then, fueled by liquid courage. But he hadn’t said anything. Not last night, and not this morning. And whether he actually had forgotten or was just pretending not to remember anything, the result was the same. You wouldn’t be talking about what happened ever again.

“Guess you just got really lucky,” you chuckled, but even to you it sounded hollow. You desperately wished this moment would mean something, but it was nothing out of the ordinary, and if anyone caught you like this they wouldn’t even consider that you were anything but friends, because Hyunjin had been this comfortable around you for years.

“That I did. By the way, Felix asked if we were gonna go for Boba later today, you in?”

You were running late, because you had somehow ended up convincing yourself that if you scrolled through your Instagram feed in your pajamas up until five minutes before you had to leave you could still totally make it. It had most certainly nothing to do with the fact that Hyunjin was one of the more punctual members of your friend group and you had wanted to avoid waiting with him alone for everyone else. You had to get over it, and you had to get over it fast, because even if you had been more than friendly last night, and even if he actually had forgotten, which you weren’t quite buying, even if it meant nothing, underneath it all Hyunjin was still your best friend. The entire reason of getting over your crush had always been not to lose that, and that objective hadn’t changed.

You had miscalculated though, because now you were effectively running fifteen minutes late. You cringed internally when you saw that indeed almost everyone had arrived. Even Jeongin seemed to have found a free spot between all his classes to show up, and he was already tapping his wristwatch when he spotted you from afar.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” You apologized, a little out of breath because you had started hurrying once you realized you were more than your planned five minutes late. “I was busy with, uh, assignments and I totally forgot the time.”

“They were that thrilling, huh?” Jeongin commented with a raised eyebrow and you stuck your tongue out at the younger boy.

“I thought you were already done with all your stuff last night. Didn’t you tell me you finished it all so you could come to karaoke night without feeling bad?”

You closed your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to swallow the curse threatening to fall over your lips. Hyunjin knew you too well, and there was no way he was buying your, admittedly, bad excuse. You decided to switch tactics because clearly this wasn’t working for you anyways.

“I’m not even last so I don’t know why you’re all so upset with me. Where’s Minho?”

“Practice, he’s not coming. So, we were indeed waiting for you, don’t try to get out of this one,” Jisung joked and you sighed, raising your hands in defeat.

“Alright, alright. I’m here now, it’s not like you’re all overly punctual. Can we just get bubble tea now?”

You weren’t truly angry at their reaction, knowing they were only teasing you and didn’t actually care whether you were late, but you had been so on edge the whole day that you couldn’t help but snap a little. It wasn’t their fault. If anything, it was solely Hyunjin’s fault, but you couldn’t even truly blame him, because he hadn’t done anything you hadn’t wanted him to do. It was awkward now because you were the one hoping it meant more than he had actually intended it to mean.  

Ignoring the confused look Chan was giving you at your tone you were glad no one but him seemed to really notice that something was off. He would at least not address it while everyone else was here. You followed your group of friends towards your go-to campus boba shop, making sure that you stuck to neither Chan nor Hyunjin, listening to Felix and Seungmin discussing the perfect mixture of strawberry banana smoothies instead. It was a welcome distraction from being stuck with your own thoughts, as you had been since this morning. You had been unable to stop your mind from going over every single word or touch that had passed between you and Hyunjin from last night to now, because you couldn’t comprehend how it had gotten the point where you were making out, and then progressed from there to … absolutely nothing. You had been joking the whole night, as you usually were, Hyunjin growing progressively more touchy the more drunk he got. The whole night had been nothing out of the ordinary at all, until he suddenly got upset, ignored you, and then ended up with his tongue down your throat on a park bench. Stealing a small glance at him while he was deeply in conversation with Jisung, both of them laughing about something undoubtedly stupid, you couldn’t help but wonder if he could really not remember anything. He seemed so casual and unbothered. But then again, if it wasn’t a big deal for him, if he had just been drunk and horny, why wouldn’t he be unbothered? Maybe you hadn’t been as subtle in your crush as you thought and he had realized the mistake he’d made, so he had decided it would save you both a lot of trouble if he just pretended last night never happened.

Angry at how you had successfully managed to completely fade out the conversations around you, your thoughts once again gravitating back to Hyunjin, you plopped down next to Seungmin, leaving the others to order their bubble tea because you had lost your appetite. You were starting to question why you had even shown up. Naively you had thought it would improve your mood, hell, you had hoped that meeting in your friend circle would even ease some of the awkwardness you now felt at being around Hyunjin, but instead it had only made you angry at your own stupidity.

It really did not help that a minute later Hyunjin was sliding a grass green honeydew flavored bubble tea in front of you with a grin.

“Got you your favorite.”

“I-“ You didn’t quite manage to tell him that you didn’t feel like drinking bubble tea, especially not when he bought it for you, because he was positively beaming at you and normally you would have loved how thoughtful and sweet he was all the time. “Thank you, Hyunjin,” you sighed instead, managing a smile that came nowhere near reaching your eyes. “You didn’t have to.”

He rolled his eyes and you realized that apart from the slight lack of enthusiasm in your tone nothing you’d said was out of the ordinary. With all the commotion around you it wouldn’t even be unlikely that he didn’t notice something was off.

“You know I love spoiling you. Besides, you made breakfast, I’m only returning the favor.”

“I told you!” Felix surged up opposite of you, pointing an accusatory finger at Seungmin. “I knew he slept over!”

“Obviously I did, where did you think I was all night? Besides, would you rather I’d let her walk home by herself in the middle of the night? What if someone saw her walking by herself and got dumb ideas?”

Like kiss your best friend you thought bitterly, holding yourself back from commenting. Hyunjin sleeping over was a casual affair and no one would think it was weird or would even assume that things had went wrong somewhere between last night and now.

They were still bickering and you focused back on the boba instead, forcing yourself to drink it because not only did you usually love honeydew, but it would be pretty suspicious if you didn’t touch it, even though you felt sick to your stomach.

It was downright ridiculous how uncomfortable you felt when you could just focus on anyone else but Hyunjin. You were still overheated from hurrying through the heat all the way over campus, and the temperatures in the store didn’t help you calm down. You felt too hot, and you knew your face was probably pretty red.

As if reading your thoughts Jisung addressed you.

“You look like you’re close to having a heat stroke. We’re reaching thirty degrees; you’re wearing high collared shirts and no one finds this even remotely suspect?”

Mentally scolding yourself you prepared to give the most nonchalant answer possible, because you only now realized your mistake. It was indeed pretty off brand for you to be quite as covered up as you were in your high collared shirt, sweating and positively hating your choice of clothing, except you hadn’t had any other options upon realizing that Hyunjin had littered your entire cleavage in dark purple hickeys. Everyone had seen you leave with him, you couldn’t have possibly explained them away.

Daring another glance in Hyunjin’s direction you tried to gauge whether Jisung’s words affected him in any way. If he remembered he must know why you had opted to sweat rather than show even the slightest bit of cleavage. But he wasn’t even looking at you, straw of his bubble tea popped into his mouth and chewing on the tapioca pearls as if this had absolutely nothing to do with him.

“Maybe I just realized I’m friends with eight guys whose biggest concern is how much boob I show.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Jisung pouted, and you felt even guiltier for continuously snapping at your friends unfairly simply because you were so agitated because of Hyunjin.

“Gross, I have no interest in your boobs.” Chan added, pulling a face that actually had you chuckle a little.

“I know Chan, you’re the only one I can trust.” You reassured him, patting his hand across the table.

“I’ve never once even looked at your boobs, if you think about it maybe you should actually be insulted.” Seungmin mused, but you caught the devilish grin pulling at the corner of his mouth, giving away that he was teasing you. Still, you crossed your arms with a pout and went along with it, because everyone at the table was chuckling now, including Hyunjin, and you really didn’t want to draw any more attention to the fact that something was severely off.

“Actually, how about we just stop talking about my boobs altogether,” you suggested, not actually uncomfortable because you trusted them, but rather because you did not want to tread so close to the edge of a topic that you didn’t even want to think about, yet couldn’t stop anyways.

“Yes, please.” Chan added with a dramatic sigh, and you used the moment to steal another glance at Hyunjin, studying his reactions. Usually, you could read your friend like an open book. He mostly wore his heart on his sleeve. He was grinning at Chan, clearly amused by how bothered your friend was by this topic, but there was absolutely no indication that he felt even remotely as tense as you. If anything, he looked relaxed and at ease, a very stark contrast to how you felt and probably looked. You had been skeptical but by now you were actually starting to believe that he really did not remember anything that had gone down last night. It was ironic, that he would leave your skin littered with reminders of something that you couldn’t possibly forget even without them, when he was the one who’d actually need a refresher.

“Hey, uhm… Jisung?” A timid voice ripped you out of your thoughtsand conveniently offered the change of topic Chan had desperately been asking for. Right next to the boy in question stood a cute girl in a yellow summer dress, her hair bound together with a fitting bow. She seemed vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t place her. Jisung, however, clearly could because he blanched and turned around so fast he almost yeeted himself off his chair. It would have been funny if you hadn’t been quite so confused. Looking around to check, it seemed as if the only other person who did not recognize this girl was Hyunjin, and as a follow up his confused gaze met yours, eyebrow raised and you could almost hear how he was going through faces in his head, asking whether you knew who this was.

“You’re Jisung, right? The one who did that rap thing last night?”

You couldn’t fully suppress a snort when Hyunjin’s and yours eyes widened comically, your gazes of surprise mirroring each other. That was karaoke bar girl.

“I’m Yuna, by the way,” she added when Jisung still did not say anything and instead just stared at her as if she’d hung the moon. You saw the movement and heard the scramble under the table before Jisung yelped and you knew that Jeongin had mercilessly kicked him in the shin, but it did push Jisung out of his state of being awestruck.

“Yes, yeah, I’m Jisung. I did the rapping. Yuna. Hi!” He almost yelped again on those last two words and you felt the way everyone was on the edge of their seat, praying that he would take this opportunity and not fuck it up again.

“You were really good,” Yuna complimented with a smile so pretty you couldn’t miss the way Jisung was melting. “Anyway, you’re with your friends, I don’t want to keep you-“ she started, clearly now noticing that there were seven other people staring at them and hanging on their every word.

“Do you want my number?” Jisung blurted out, and you almost laughed when Felix and Chan fist-bumped under the table. Yuna seemed just as ecstatic at the idea, fishing her phone out of her bag so Jisung could enter his phone number before she excused herself with an awkward half-wave, eyes mostly glued on Jisung. There was half a minute of utter silence on your table while Yuna was strolling out of the boba store before everyone erupted into hollering and cheering, Chan tousling Jisung’s hair so enthusiastically the poor boy had a hard time sitting upright. He was clearly still in state of shock while everyone else was celebrating that he had finally gotten somewhere with karaoke girl – Yuna – and while you were truly happy for your friend you felt another wave crash over you almost at the same time. Where had your love-life gone so phenomenally wrong?

Sure, you had hook-ups whenever you felt like it, and that was nice from time to time, but Jisung was still staring as if he couldn’t comprehend what had just happened, and how should he? The girl he had been crushing on for the last months seemed to be interested in him. The only time you had ever felt like that was with Hyunjin. You had squashed those feelings temporarily, but while you had had good casual sex no one else had managed to elicit butterflies quite the way Hyunjin could, and you now knew why. You were not over him, and until you were you would be stuck with feeling empty, a perpetual weight on your chest that would never allow room for butterflies and all those other mushy feeling that came with being in love.

You felt your phone vibrate next to you on the table, picking it up only to be greeted with a message from Chan popping up on your lock screen.

[4:37 PM] From: Chan 🐺

            U okay? you look kinda sad…

You looked up at him quickly, catching his worried gaze from across the table and chided yourself for being so careless. Just because everyone else was too caught up in being happy for Jisung – as they should be – didn’t mean your oldest friend wouldn’t catch you sulking and wallowing in self-pity right in front of him.

You shot him a thumbs up with a smile that felt thin and pathetic.

[4:38 PM] To: Chan 🐺

            Yeah don’t worry. Didn’t get much sleep last night and im pretty tired…

You didn’t outright look at him after he’d read your message, watching him from the corner of your eyes and you could tell he wasn’t buying it. Attempting to appease him you clicked back in to the celebrations, putting on the brightest smile you could possibly manage with how you actually felt, but you immediately regretted it. They had moved on from celebrating Jisung’s love life to teasing Hyunjin about his, by trying to set him up with the barista currently mixing cream cheese milk tea. If he was bothered by it, he barely showed any signs. To his benefit he did not actually get up to talk to her, but he also didn’t react quite as prickly as he had when you had tried setting him up with Chaeyoung last night, and it only added to the irritation you felt towards him and your whole predicament.

“What’s your opinion?”

You didn’t realize the question had been directed at you until Felix was throwing the paper wrapping of his straw at you. You quickly threw another gaze at the barista, not really taking her in at all.

“Hmmm? Yeah, she’s cute.”

No one commented on your complete lack of enthusiasm compared to usual, and if they found it strange they didn’t react in any way, instead turning back to the conversation at hand.

It was all a little too much and a little too suffocating and you knew that if you got up and left now you wouldn’t have a good excuse, but you didn’t care. You had already been acting strange the whole last hour or so you had been here, so it really didn’t make much of a difference anymore.

Signaling Seungmin and Felix that you wanted to get up you snuck out of the booth, squishing past them and threw a quick goodbye at the table. You turned to hurry out of the shop before they could properly realize that you were actually leaving, trying to avoid the questions that would undoubtedly be thrown at you if anyone stopped you now. You were positive you had handled that moment anything but smoothly, but you didn’t get very far before Hyunjin, of all people, caught up to you. He had your not even half empty bubble tea in one hand, which you had conveniently not taken with you.

“You forgot this,” he stated the obvious, holding the drink out to you and you grabbed it, with the full intention of never drinking it either way.

You didn’t know what to say, but it was clearly not the right moment to turn around and just leave, so for a second you were simply staring at Hyunjin stubbornly, willing him to go back into the store. Instead, you found yourself wrapped in his arms, one of those hugs that were usually the most comforting thing in the world, but felt like pure torture now.

“Grab some sleep, ‘kay?” He was murmuring into your hair, and you closed your eyes and willed yourself to simply nod, praying that was answer enough. Let him think you were simply tired and exhausted; it was better than the alternative. “I don’t know what’s gotten you so down, but you know you’re still my favorite girl in the world, right bunny? You can talk to me about it.”

His words were just the cherry on top of a whole load of bullshit you did not want to deal with so you carefully untangled yourself, throwing him the most awkward thumbs up in the world, bubble tea in one hand, smile that couldn’t possibly have been convincing grazing your lips, before you turned around and almost bolted.

Things got worse from here on out, and the only one to blame was you. Having realized that you were clearly not cut out to handle the situation you had drawn back, spending the entirety of the next week by focusing on your courses and assignments, for once getting them done in time. Completely withdrawing from your friends did wonders for your work ethics, but Chaeryoung, who you had refused to fill in on the whole situation but knew something was wrong, kept repeating that this wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism.

You hadn’t completely withdrawn from everyone, because that would have only aroused suspicions that you could not have explained away. You did still reply in the group chat as if everything was fine, telling them that you were simply very busy and needed this time to focus on studying so you could stay on top of your courses. Whether they believed it or not was a different matter, but they left you be.

Hyunjin, however, knew you better and had been texting you the minute you bolted from him at the boba shop. He had also texted you the following three days, checking in if you were okay, if there was anything he could do, if you wanted to talk. You appeased him with excuses and conversation that you were sure he was seeing straight through. You weren’t actively trying to push him away, but whenever you received a text for him your brain shut down and you couldn’t help but feel as if everything you held dear was crumbling. Eventually Hyunjin gave up, and you weren’t surprised when, two days later on a Saturday midday, you finally received a text from Chan.

[11:14 AM] From: Chan 🐺

            You might be able to fool the guys but you’re not smooth enough to fool me.

[11:14 AM] I can’t force you to tell me what’s wrong but what you’re doing is unhealthy.

[11:16 AM] To: Chan 🐺

            Studying? I agree...

[11:17 AM] From: Chan 🐺

            I ain’t buying it.

There wasn’t another message for a couple of minutes and you thought that maybe you had avoided this conversation, even though Chan was undoubtedly disappointed you didn’t even talk to him after years of friendship. But just when you were ready to put this from your mind and focus on something else your phone buzzed again.

[11:23 AM] From: Chan 🐺

            Are you in love with Hyunjin again?

You were staring at your own phone screen in disbelief, half a heart to throw the device against the wall and move out of the country, but that would only confirm Chan’s suspicions. How did he even figure that out, having seen you once since that night and not again after that.

[11:24 AM] To: Chan 🐺

            No????

[11:25 AM] How did u even get that idea lmao chan I’ve been over him for the last two years

[11:26 AM] From: Chan 🐺

          He told me you’re barely answering his texts. Thinks he’s pissed you off but             the last time you got like that was when you thought you could get over your             crush.

[11:27 AM] To: Chan 🐺

            Idk what hes talking about, I told you all I’m busy.

You were bordering on snapping at your friends again, and you knew that your replies to Chan right now did nothing to convince him that he wasn’t right. Chan knew you too well, and if he’d already come to the conclusion himself then nothing you said or wrote could convince him otherwise, since he was right and he could tell.

Your phone buzzed again and the only reason you didn’t ignore the message was because you knew Chan would be at your front door in twenty minutes if you did, if he wasn’t on his way here already anyway. But the message wasn’t from Chan.

            [11:31 AM] From: Jinnie 🍓

            Don't know if u saw in the group chat but there's a pool party at Wooyoung's             later today

            [11:31 AM] I thought you might wanna come too

            [11:33 AM] I miss you.

I miss you. You read over those last three words again and again, ready to tear your hair out in frustration. He was missing his friend, of course he was, you had barely talked, let alone seen each other in a week, when you usually spent almost every day together. But the way those three words made your chest constrict and filled your stomach with a jittery feeling was absolutely ridiculous.

You had indeed seen the messages about the party in the group chat, but initially immediately decided that you would not go. But now that Hyunjin had asked you and you thought about it, it started to sound more and more like a great idea. Jung Wooyoung was was ridiculously rich and ridiculously spoiled, and if he threw a party it would be big. What better opportunity to prove to yourself that you were not in love with Hyunjin, than to go to a party filled with drunk frat boys? If nothing else, the alcohol would at least surely serve as another unhealthy coping mechanism to distract you. Your feelings for Hyunjin, if you could even call them that, were merely a crush anyways, and you were a big girl who could get over a crush, even though you knew that Chaeryoung would be telling you that this plan screamed disaster if you told her about it.

            [11:35 AM] To: Jinnie 🍓

            sure ill be there 👍

            [11:35 AM] miss you too!

It seemed to have become a common theme that you were running late where Hyunjin was concerned. You had taken too long for your make up, to choose what outfit to wear even though you ultimately settled on a cute swimsuit, an oversized t-shirt and shorts, as you had known you would.

You had told Hyunjin you missed him and that wasn’t a lie, but that only made the situation infinitely worse. You wanted to be able to act normal around him, to be friends with him exactly the way you used to be. It had been easy and comfortable and in the span of little over a week it had all be turned upside down. Now you were stuck in this awkward vacuum where you desperately missed your friend, yet every time you saw him your heart pinched and you couldn’t even look at him without behaving off.

The fact that he was so patient with you even though he had no idea what had happened to have you act so distant only spoke volumes about how good of a friend he really was, and it was high time you got your act together, because you did not want to lose this friendship, and acting the way you were, you were on the best way to achieving that.

With that resolution you approached Wooyoung’s house, the music audible even before you entered the front lawn. Sprinklers were placed on the lush green lawn, a few people lingering and shoving each other in the water. It was only six pm so the sun was still up high and strong. You entered the house, unsure where to start looking for your friends but you figured the back yard with the pool would be a good start.

It helped that they were usually loud, because as soon as you entered the garden through the balcony doors you had no trouble spotting Changbin and Felix in the crowd of people. They were in the pool, drenched head to toe because they were apparently fighting to see who could drown the other first. Letting your eyes pass on you found Chan with Seungmin by the lounge chairs, both a drink in hand. They had clearly spotted you too and were waving you over enthusiastically. You plopped down next to Chan on his lounge chair, eyeing his drink before you decided it was save and stole it from his grip to take a tentative sip, poking your tongue out at him.

“Okay, hello to you, too,” Chan laughed, grabbing his drink back before you could finish it for him. You greeted them both with a hug, surprised at how easy going it was now that you were here. It might have been because Chan and Seungmin weren’t the problem, but you decided not to dwell on it.

“Hi, sorry I’m late, I had to put together this killer outfit,” you explained, pointing at your oversized shirt, a strawberry stitched right in the middle.

“I can tell.” Chan laughed and you lightly punched him in the shoulder at his slander.

“You didn’t miss much, don’t worry,” Seungmin added, his own drink seemingly full and untouched because Seungmin was the responsible one of the group most of the time. “Changbin and Felix have been continuously trying to drown each other for the last hour, we’ve lost count of who’s winning. Minho is somewhere getting shitfaced with some guys from the dance department. Those dudes are so whack I didn’t even dare dwelve further into it.”

You pulled a face in sympathy, agreeing with Seungmin. Minho’s friends were… something else. If he was drinking with them, you wouldn’t be seeing much of him today and it was probably for the better, because they usually didn’t leave it at just drinking and while Minho could be eccentric when sober, high Minho was a lot.

“Jisung?” you asked, trying to spot him.

“Over at the bar with Jeongin.”

“And you let them go together?!” you spluttered because usually both Seungmin and Chan were big on treating Jeongin like a kid you all had to protect simply because he was a little younger than the rest of you.

“I’m not so much worried about Jeongin as I am about Jisung. Or did you forget that one time Jeongin convinced us to let him mix our drinks and you ended up throwing up after one Long Island Ice Tea?”

Thinking back to that evening with a shiver you had to agree with Chan. “I actually don’t remember,” you laughed. “Might be because that devil child mixed everything into that drink except for anything anti-alcoholic. Now I’m worried about Jisung.”

You noticed how neither of them had mentioned Hyunjin. You wanted to ask, but you were actually having a good time, so why ruin it sooner than necessary? Trying to spot Jisung and Jeongin over at the bar you let your eyes drift towards it, but you didn’t get much farther than the pool. You immediately knew why Chan had not said anything about Hyunjin and you really wished your chest wouldn’t feel as if someone had ripped it open. He was in the pool, wearing a white shirt for no apparent reason other than that the way it clung to his skin was surely driving everyone in proximity crazy. His long hair was wet, slicked back in a casual manner that implied he had ran his wet hand through it a lot. The problem wasn’t that he looked good enough to make you forget why you couldn’t be more than friends. The problem was that he wasn’t alone his hand resting lazily on another girl’s waist. Your brain shut down for a moment, unable to take in anything but the way he was touching her bare skin, until she laughed and turned a little more towards you and you unmistakably recognized Chaeyoung. So much for not wanting her.

You couldn’t blame him, heck, you had even tried to set him up, but somehow actually seeing her talk to him as intimately as they were was a whole other thing. He looked so heartbreakingly gorgeous, and you couldn’t deny that Chaeyoung looked good withhim.

You knew you shouldn’t be watching but you couldn’t look away. You always thought Hyunjin was just a naturally touchy person. You always told yourself the way he was with you was nothing special. But you also knew in your heart of hearts that you had always hoped that it was special, that it did mean more. Seeing him with Chaeyoung now though you knew with certainty that the way he usually touched you was nothing. You had clearly never witnessed Hyunjin flirting before.  

His hand was constantly in his hair, mussing up the long strands as if he knew exactly how good he looked with a few stray, wet strands in his face, drops of water chasing down the column of his neck. There was a light smile on his face, somewhere between a smirk and a genuinely nice smile, and god, he kept biting his full bottom lip. Chaeyoung was so close to him, Hyunjin’s hand not leaving her hip, and even from a distance you caught the way he was pressing his fingertips into her skin. You knew what it felt like and you couldn’t blame Chaeyoung for subtly inching closer to him. Yeah, you were definitely staring too much.

“Did they come here together?” you asked instead, the nonchalance in your voice a little too strained to be genuine, but the music was loud, people were shouting and just maybe neither Chan nor Seungmin caught it.

“Nope.” Chan let the word hang in the air for a moment, probably savoring that he knew exactly just how much you were dying for him to spill any more information. Seungmin, who was either just nicer or hadn’t caught up on what was going on, was your saving grace.

“Hyunjin came with us and we were waiting for you when Chaeyoung approached him. Asked if he wanted to help her with some game in the poolagainst Momo and San. Actually, that was a pretty smooth move of her because look where it got her. I’ve never seen Hyunjin flirt like that with a girl he just met. With any girl, really.” Neither had you. You had always kept the firm believe that Hyunjin subtly flirted with everyone but compared to what was going on with Chaeyoung right now, he had never flirted with you except that one night when he’d been drunk and wanted to check his bucket list, apparently.

As if Seungmin could read your mind he added, more subdued, “Well except you, but we all know you’re just friends.”

“She’s very pretty. They look good together,” you pressed out, ignoring how difficult it was for you to even say that, even though it was the truth.

You were still staring at them, despite better judgement, so you did not see the exchange between Chan and Seungmin until the latter got up, stating he would get you all new drinks.

“You looked like you needed something strong,” Chan offered up in an empathetic explanation and you rolled your eyes, knowing that with Seungmin gone, of course he would immediately pick up where your earlier text conversation had left off.

“Not because of them.” You denied, before Chan got the opportunity to say anything. “Like I said, they look good together. And anyway, I’m the one who tried to set him up with her. This is what I wanted.”

The words came easier the second time, and if it weren’t for the hollow feeling in your chest you could have even almost believed them. But your gaze stayed glued on the pool, and now Hyunjin was brushing his thumb over her lips and you could tell Chaeyoung was melting.

“You should just tell him, you know. He probably thinks he did something wrong, and I figured I’m not the one to tell him what the actual problem is.”

He was of course referring back to your earlier conversation and about how he was so sure your crush on Hyunjin was back with a vengeance. If only Chan knew what the real problem was, which was so much more complicated than just a crush. But you were not about to disclose that information, now or ever.

“There’s nothing to tell him, Chan. My crush is found dead in a ditch. Abandoned, starved, withered away,” you forced your eyes away from the two, focusing on Chan instead as if that would prove a point. “Feelings for Hyunjin? I don’t know them.”

For a moment Chan only looked at you, with that one specific gaze that your mother had also perfected, and that made you feel all the worst ways of guilty about lying. But you wouldn’t give in, not about this. What would even be the point of admitting that you were crushing on your friend again, if only to make the problem all the more real and imminent. Ignoring it until it went away had worked before and it would work again, and Hyunjin getting awfully close with a very pretty girl would only help.

“You do know that could be you, right?”

Now your head did whip around, making the mistake of looking again and, god, Hyunjin’s face was buried in the crook of her neck but with his wet hair out of his face you caught the way he bit down, tongue darting out a moment after. How Chaeyoung was still standing upright was beyond you. You had been in that situation. For just a few moments this had been you and you were built different, going weak in the knees from just the thought.

But Chan didn’t know that. On surface level what he just said was ridiculous in your eyes, and you were hellbent on conveying that, and that only.

“Now how could that be me?” you questioned, fully ignoring that it had been you a week ago. It had only taken Hyunjin getting drunk and ignoring the fact that he was putting the friendship on the line to give you a taste of what was otherwise unachievable to you. It wasn’t comparable to sober Hyunjin kissing up Chaeyoung’s neck with very clear intentions. “That’s right, it couldn’t be.” You answered your own question before Chan could. “Hyunjin is a friend.”

“Yes, clearly he’s just a friend to you.”

You sighed impatiently, shoulders slumping because everything seemed to always be coming back to this.

“It doesn’t matter what Ifeel,” you disregarded the jab, subliminally admitting to Chan that he had been right, but it didn’t matter because he had known already even without you confirming it.  “If it were up to me, then yes, I’d replace myself with Chaeyoung in a heartbeat. But that’s not what Hyunjin wants, since he’s touching her like that, and not me.”

The words sounded as bitter as you felt. Not towards Chaeyoung, who had simply gotten lucky, but towards your whole situation of having this hopeless, stupid crush.

Of course Seungmin chose exactly that moment to resurface from the bar, no doubt having heard at least your last sentence. He wordlessly pressed your cup, filled to the brim with something hopefully strong, in your hand and settled down opposite of you.

“Listen,” he started, and you noticed Chan trying to subtly shake his head and shut Seungmin up, but the boy wasn’t deterred. “I can’t believe you don’t see it. I promised Chan I would stay out of it but you sound miserable. Hyunjin does treat you differently. All the little touches? Yes, he’s a naturally touchy person, but with you it’s softer, it’s- I don’t know, it’s different, and we all can tell.”

Seungmin’s words made your heart ache anew, but you were trying your hardest not to let it show. It didn’t matter what they think they saw, the only thing that mattered were the things Hyunjin said and did, and they spoke volumes to you. “No offense, Seungmin, but all of you are pretty hopeless when it comes to dating so I don’t exactly trust your advice.”

“You’re not wrong-“ Seungmin admitted but raised a finger to stop you from saying anything else and interrupt his speech. “- but my point stands. The way he’s touching Chaeyoung now? We all know what the goal is here, even if the motive confuses me. It’s just not like Hyunjin. But nevermind that, there’s a difference to how he touches you, and it doesn’t say ‘I just want to sleep with you’.”

You huffed, focusing on your drink instead and breaking the eye contact with Seungmin because you didn’t have an answer for him. You didn’t even know what to make of his words. If you thought about it, you always had told yourself that Hyunjin was just touchy, but Seungmin had a point. He was different with you, it was softer, more tentative. But he also had touched you exactly the way he did with Chaeyoung now, so what did that tell you?

He had proven he could get with you, too, and that left you with the same confusion you had felt all along. He had proven he could get with you and tick that off his bucket list. Friends did that, too, of course. You didn’t gain anything from that insight except for the certainty that you had to stop feeling anything other than amicably for him, because he did not reciprocate these feelings in any way.

Panicking slightly, you gripped both your hands onto your solo cup and chugged down a good gulp, coughing as the alcohol washed down your throat. Already raising it to your lips again you caught Chan’s expression, eyebrow raised.

“I know you’re always drinking when you’re trying to avoid something. Are we finally going to talk about this or…?”

“Or!” you grinned, successfully downing the rest of your cup and jumping up in a rush to get a refill. 

One cup turned into two cups turned into four cups and you were well into feeling light and much more carefree than you had about an hour ago. You had lost sight of Hyunjin and Chaeyoung, which was quite the feat considering that your eyes couldn’t seem to stay away from them, but somewhere between your third drink and almost being wrestled into the pool by Jisung with all of your clothes on, your mind had stopped keeping track of the two of them.

You weren’t quite sure why you had been so obsessed in the first place when you came here. It was a great party, there was a pool, alcohol, all of your friends were here. So what if Hyunjin was finally hooking up? You had always tried to get him to do that, and hadn’t you told yourself you’d come here precisely to get a distraction as well?

Yeah, maybe you were secretly throwing a little hissy fit because he had texted you he missed you, but he had not even made the time to talk to you since you got here, too busy sucking up on Chaeyoung. He probably hadn’t even noticed you. But you were trying to convince yourself that this was a good thing, this was what you wanted, and with every additional cup you succeeded a bit more.

The sun had stopped burning down quite so mercilessly, but even with sundown the temperatures were high. With the terrace packed with people it was still uncomfortably hot. You weren’t about to jump in a pool at a frat house that was at this point probably as much alcohol as it was water, but you weren’t above settling down on the edge and sticking your legs in to cool down a little.

“You know, usually we throw these parties to see cute girls in tiny bikinis,” a teasing voice piqued up, tone casual and tinged with amusement, telling you that he didn’t mean his words quite so seriously.

“I guess I came to the wrong party, then, but you should have plenty of options,” you pointed out before your gaze fell on the person speaking and your breath got stuck in your chest for just the shortest moment before you caught yourself, relaxing at the edge of the pool. Seonghwa was in swim shorts, long blonde slicked back in wet strands, sunglasses resting on top of them surely solely for effect. He was wearing white sleeveless shirt which he clearly hadn’t bothered taking off before jumping into the pool. With the way it clung to his body and had turned transparent he might as well not be wearing anything, except the thin layer of wet clothing made the whole look so much more delectable. He was fully doing this on purpose, and very much aware of the effect he had. Yeah, he definitely knew he looked good.

“Oh, I wasn’t finished yet.”

You raised an eyebrow in amusement, curious what other line he was about to throw your way.

“I appreciate this get-up,” he lazily waved a finger to indicate he was talking about your oversized shirt hiding your bikini. “Because I do enjoy a good challenge.”

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his sleazy comment. The way he delivered it so confidently, as if he truly believed he was the smoothest guy at this whole party was nothing short of hilarious, and it seemed to have been the exact effect he had been going for. He was good.

He knew exactly what to say, when to raise his eyebrow just the slightest bit or when to let his tongue peak out, barely wetting his lips, to push just the right buttons. And it seemed that making you laugh had been exactly the point of his over-the-top comments, because he was wearing a confident grin, chuckling along with you.

“Was that too much?”

You didn’t fail to notice that he was not so subtly inching closer to you, almost close enough to brush your legs tangling in the water with his body.

You playfully dipped your hand into the water, splashing his upper body and shoulders with a few drops of water before you shrugged with a grin of your own.

“You don’t look like someone who struggles with getting a girl out of her shirt, like, at all. I’m not buying it.”

“A shame. Let me try again?” He definitely knew that he already had you hooked, but he still pretended to be making an effort, even though you knew he was mostly doing this to amuse you. This boy really knew how to get what he wanted.

“Sure,” you encouraged him, nodding your head to signal him to go ahead. You didn’t expect him to step up to you, one hand tracing up the outer side of your leg, coming to halt slightly above your knee. He was pushing your legs apart, but so gently that if you didn’t want it you could stop this anytime. But you would’ve lied if you said you weren’t curious how far he was going with this, and his fingertips, wet and cool, felt nice on the warm skin of your thighs. You should have known he wouldn’t stop there, but your breath still hitched when he leant in, strands of his hair falling forward and trickling drops of pool water on your exposed collarbones. His mouth was just close enough to feel his warm breath on your skin but nothing more.

“Wanna take off that shirt and get wet for me?”

And because he wanted to watch the effect he had on you, he didn’t even stay close to let you bask in the feeling of his breath ghosting over your skin. Instead leant back and ran his hand through his wet hair to push the long strands back again.

For a second you were dumbstruck, the words sinking in, before you started laughing even harder than before, noticing the satisfied smirk on his face. You also didn’t fail to notice his hand rising up higher on your thighs, or the way his thumb had started drawing circles on your skin ever since he had stepped closer and didn’t step away again. He was very subtle about it, but at some point between delivering that horrible line and watching your reaction he had eliminated the distance between your bodies, fully standing between your now embarrassingly wide spread legs.

On a whim you raised your hand, running your own fingers through his bleached hair because every time he did it you were itching to do the same. You tugged, just a little to test how he would react, when you reached his lengths. The effect was immediate, his fingers digging into your skin, bottom lip stuck between his teeth to stop the soft moan bubbling over his lips.

“Knew you’d like that one.” His voice was more of a grumble at this point, and you were amazed just how much of an effect a little hair pulling had.

“Actually, it was horrible,” you teased him, a smile playing on your lips while your fingers stayed buried in his hair, toying with the strands and pulling slightly from time to time just to watch him shudder between your legs.

“But it still worked, didn’t it?” he pushed, his fingers inching closer up your inner thigh to indicate what he meant and you didn’t quite manage to suppress the shiver, proving him right. “Were you thinking about fucking me back at the karaoke bar too?”

You didn’t get the chance to come up with a witty reply, because before you could even gather your thoughts you were splashed with such an absurd amount of water it left you  drenched from head to toe. Both you and Seonghwa jumped, him pulling away from you and you effectively slipping over the edge of the pool and falling straight into the water with all of your clothes on. You were never happier than in that moment that you had left your bag including your phone with Chan. It didn’t change the fact, however, that you were dripping wet, shirt sticking to your body like a second skin.

“What the actual fuck?!” you sputtered, almost at the same time as Seonghwa, who seemed equally as pissed, both turned towards the person who had decided to jump into the pool right next to you as if they couldn’t tell they were interrupting. Your outrage was joined by the guy who had been responsible for splashing you with water and looked almost more irritated than you. You didn’t know him, but judging by how he was fuming he has clearly not voluntarily jumped in the pool just now. His gaze wasn’t directed at you either, but at someone standing at the edge of the pool. You followed his line of sight, even more confused when you saw it was Hyunjin, drink in one hand and the other one raised in mock defense because the cocky grin on his face told a whole other story.

“What’s your problem, dude?!” the boy burst up and Hyunjin had the audacity to shrug, not even really looking at the other guy, catching your gaze instead.

“Oops, I’m so sorry,” Hyunjin downright drawled, and you would’ve exploded if you wouldn’t have been so confused what on earth had gotten into him. You ignored the huffing of the dude crawling out of the pool, the same way Hyunjin ignored the dirty look he threw him for intentionally pushing him into the pool. It wasn’t like Hyunjin and you were utterly dumbfounded what he was suddenly acting like this, the only indication being the cup in his hand and the clear lilt to his voice, although even drunk he had never been like this before.

“I sure hope I didn’t ruin the mood, you two seemed awfully cozy.”

You had never heard him speak in such a venomous, mean tone. This wasn’t your Hyunjin, because in three years of friendship he had never spoken to you or anyone else with the intention to hurt. He was many things, overly-dramatic, exaggerating and sometimes even extremely petty, but Hyunjin wasn’t cruel. Until now.

You just wanted him to stop talking but he pushed on, ignoring the pained look on your face if he even caught it. He seemed a little too drunk to have any tactfulness.

“Nice of you to show up, by the way. I can tell you missed me by how you’re trying to hop onto his dick.”

His last words were a sneer, head nodding towards Seonghwa, whose presence you felt closely behind you. Your mind immediately jumped back to the conversation during karaoke night, and how Hyunjin had decided that Seonghwa wasn’t worth of your attention, but you hadn’t thought he was quite so serious about this. You were old enough to decide for yourself if you wanted a hook-up, and hadn’t he been the one doing the same thing earlier? And he had not come to talk to you either, even though he allegedly missed you, so it was extremely hypocritical of him to blame you for that. At least you had given him space and freedom with his hook-up, because it simply wasn’t your business and you had no claim on him. You had hoped this party would finally smooth things over between Hyunjin and you after he had invited you and told you he missed you, but if anything it had only torn you more apart. Not because he had snuggled up to Chaeyoung, but because you couldn’t wrap your mind around how hurtful he was behaving towards you right now, without any good reason.

If you didn’t know any better you would have called his behavior jealousy. But you weren’t delusional, and even if it was true there had been many instances where Hyunjin had his chance to make his intentions clear.

He was the one who didn’t remembe he fingered you. You were sure his current words and behavior would eventually cut deep but right at that moment it only filled you with an anger to rival his.

“You’re clearly drunk, Hyunjin. Go home and get sober, and then we can talk about whatever just went down here.”

You tried to keep your voice even and calm despite how riled up this situation had left you. He wouldn’t be saying these things if he were sober, and if for nothing but the sake of your friendship you would give him the courtesy to explain himself when he was sober and had his thoughts together. You wouldn’t, however, let him ruin your night and this party. Seonghwa had clearly been aching for a hook-up and if anything, this fight and a good distraction could only help to move on from Hyunjin. Deciding that nothing good would come from this now you turned to Seonghwa, who was watching the whole exchange with mild interest until now, trying not to look too obviously amused.

“Can I borrow a shirt of yours or something? Seems like I did end up dripping wet after all,” you directed towards him with a cringe and the switch in his face was immediate, going from amusement to focusing his whole attention on you with something much more intense underlying.

“Sure, angel.” He was nodding his head towards the edge of the pool, helping you out of the water, your wet clothes gushing and effectively drenching the whole side of the terrace where you were standing. You wouldn’t have actually cared, but Hyunjin’s whole intention had been to fuck up your evening, and you were determined to go through with this if only out of spite. If Seonghwa caught on, which was hard not to, he clearly didn’t care because he lifted himself out of the pool after you, giving yourself a good eyeful of his arms flexing, water dripping down his back in a way that made you dig your nails into your palm. Stepping up to you and completely ignoring Hyunjin, which was quite the feat because he was glaring daggers at you at this point, Seonghwa wrapped an arm around your waist smoothly as if he had done it many times before.

“Just checking, but we’re going upstairs so I can fuck you, right?”

“God, yes.”

[k4shixe]

Broken Heart. part 2

Characters; fem!reader, Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro (gn!reader aswell)

Warnings; break up, meeting ex, drinking alcohol, partying, drunk, fighting, not proof read

Word count; 1.5k

Summary; After your break up your friends dragged you along for a party and you met someone new.

Here is Part 1

A few days after the break up with Gojo, lets just say you were more then at rock bottom. You sobbed and cried all day while listening to sloppy, sad depressing music which you said to yourself that you would never do. A few of your friends had to come and help you around so that you dont live in a dumpster. The days you did go to work, you noticed your coworker, the one who made you feel worthless and took everything from you, got demoted due to "complaints" and you couldn't help but smirk to yourself. Plus she avoided you twice as much so now you didnt have to see her ugly face. Guess it worked out after all.

Your friends on the other hand tried everything to make you do something but you were always "tired" so they gave up after a while. And as promised, you had gotten up to get a glass of water when you heard a buzz on your phone. Thinking it was one of your friends you looked at the text notification to see it was Gojo. You threw your phone at the couch and took a deep breath before picking it up. You knew you should have blocked him but you still have a little hope.

Gojo: Hey love, can we talk?

You didnt know how to reply to that. How could you? You didnt want to hear him out because there was nothing to say. He was caught red handed and basically pleated guilty. So you switched off your phone and turned on the tv. You got another text but this time from your friends.

Friend 1: Y/n! We're going out to the club today you should come!

Friend 2: Yeah, maybe you can find a better guy then that asshole you dated

Friend 1: Exactly! We are picking you up at 6 so get ready alright!

Leaving the messages on read, you sighed to yourself as you went to your bedroom. You had to get ready or else they'll drag you to the club in your pj's and what if you do find a nice guy? You need to look your best. So you spent the next few hours getting ready, ready to be the prefect person you were always meant to be. As you heard your friend's car pull up in your drive way you checked in the mirror one last time to make sure everything was perfect. Makeup. Great. Outfit. Spectacular. And lastly your phone. You walked out the door feeling like you owned the world and your friends hyped you up especially since this is the first time in a week you've left the house for something personal to do.

Entering the club, you eyes scanned over everyone inside, especially the men who seemed drunker then ever. Was the club that good? Before you could say anything, mostly about going home, your friends dragged you to a booth and ordered a few drinks.

"Cmon y/n! Have some fun!"

"Guys i dont think this is a good idea"

"Nonsense! Just have one!"

So you did, but one turned into 3 then 5 and it just kept going until the point you lost count.

Your friends eventually pushed you to the dance floor where everyone else was and you felt alive. The music was loud and pumping through your veins, the drinks made you loosen up a lot and you had forgotten everything that happened. You signalled to your friend that you'd be sitting down at your booth and began walking towards it once they gave you a thumbs up. Looking towards your booth, your vision blurry you didnt notice you bumped into someone.

"Oh my god! Im so sorry!" You say repeatedly.

"Its okay. Im fine. That was nothing" a deep voice replied. Looking up you see a tall man with dark black hair looking at you.

You nodded and you both carried on with what you were doing but you couldn't get the guys face out of your head. He was a fit looking man with a cut on from the top to the bottom of his mouth. Dang it. You should of asked for his name. You looked around to see if you could spot him again but no use. However what you did see was 10 times worse. Your ex, Gojo, was at the very same bar with his friends and from the looks of it, he was walking right towards you.

"Hey y/n." All the alcohol you had just disappeared and you didnt have blurry vision. Atleast not from the drinks. You friends noticed the tears that were threatening to spill out and rushed over to you.

"Hey what the hell is you problem?"

"Yeah, last time I checked your status was cheater"

You can not emphisias more on how much you love your friends. Gojo ignores them, looking directly at you, his blue eyes showing more then what he was willing to show. But all you could remember was the feeling of betrayal.

Your friends had caused quiet a commotion to the point some people started recording and others started to try break up the fight. You were too busy trying to hold your emotions together, your mind swirling through each thought. It was when you felt a hand on your shoulder that you finally came back to reality.

"You caused quiet a scene, huh Gojo. Leave the poor girl alone" the voice sent shivers down your spine at how calm he sounded. His deep voice was a reminder to who he was and upon looking up you were right. The same man with the cut on his mouth.

"Step aside. I wasn't talking to you." Gojo says as he walks up to the man who is supposedly named Toji. They were standing head to head to each other with your poor self in between them.

"I thought your single now that you cheated with that lame ass women" Toji says as he tilts his head in a mocking smile. No words come from Gojo but a glare was evident as Toji put an arm around your waist and pushed Gojo as you walked together. You were still processing everything, you wanted to turn around to see if Gojo was looking but you knew he was but you turned around anyway and sure he was. You couldn't lie, the satisfaction you felt seeing him with his eyes wide looking directly at you was amazing. You turned around realising the hand tighten a little around your waist and you became a little uncomfortable. You looked towards the ground and took a deep breath.

"Uh thank you for your assistance, but I can take care of myself." You say trying to get away from the man.

"Really? I saw how you were back there. And we both know that dumb fuck will follow you just to talk to you. He has nothing better to do."

Toji says with a slight chuckle. "Atleast let me take you home pretty lady" he says as he holds his hand out. "Ugh fuck me." You mumble not sure of what to do. "Oh? Can I really?" He gives you a smirk before looking behind you to see Gojo still staring. "Great. Let's go then" he puts his arm around your shoulders and takes you out of the bar, calling over a taxi to drive you.

"Y/n! Wait!" The familiar voice shouted out, the one that used to bring you comfort. "Why are you going with him!"

"Satoru, its not your problem is it now? Besides he's my new boyfriend"

Gojo stared at you with shock. "Y/n please. I'll do better I promise. Give me one more chance!" He pleaded with you, looking at you with such intensity.

"Im sorry. But I cant. I trusted you." You say looking down holding back the tears.

"Thats right. Now go to that side chick, she'll love to have you." Toji turned you around with a hand gently placed on your back.

"Bye Satoru." You whisper quietly as a tears rolled down your cheek. You and Tojo both got into the taxi as he flipped Gojo off and the taxi started driving down the street. "Boyfriend huh? I like the wound of that" he whispered closely to your ear with a smirk.

A/n: Here's a part 2 since some of you guys wanted one! Sorry for it being written later. I didnt know if I should do toji or geto but I think toji and Gojo dont like eachother from what I know so I thought it was better. Hope you enjoy!

Part 2 tag: @labelt-san @ritsatoru @multi-fandom-fanfic

(Sorry if u didnt wanna be tagged. Message me if you want to be removed)

[lovemesickly]

And Just Like That

summary: five times Jamie Tartt heard of Sasha Adair and the one time he met her

a/n: so i did give reader a name and the reason for this is because i am thinking of turning this into a whole ass series with the characters that are new and mentioned. the series will more or less be revolved around this one-shot. so please comment and give all the feedback/ideas and let me know if turning this into a series is a good idea. and fyi there is no description of sasha so imagine her however you want. thank you and enjoy reading!

warning(s): mature language and implied sexual themes and a +2.6k word count

1. 

Jamie Tartt was seven the first time the name Sasha Adair graced his ears. He had just arrived at football training with the older kids, even though he was one of the younger lads on the team he was their star player. As they warmed up, he couldn’t help but overhear the coaches talking amongst themselves. 

“I can’t believe Alec Adair is retiring, God never thought I’d see the day,” one coach replied to the other.

“I know, he’s pushing 40 too. It's about time he retired. I mean he's got a kid, Sasha I think the kid's name is. Apparently, that's why he's retiring in the first place. Wants the domestic life, news flash mate, it's not all it's cracked up to be,” the other coach said in disdain.

“Hey, it just means fewer wins for Richmond and hopefully more for Man City,” and at that, the two men started to crack up. 

Later that day when Jamie went home, he snuck onto his mother's computer and looked up Alec Adair. Article upon article popped up, photos ranging from the start of Alec's career to the present day flooded said articles. One picture caught his attention more so than the others, Alec standing in the goalie's net with a little girl (Jamie guessed it was Alec's kid Sasha). Alec decked out in his Richmond kit, while his little girl sat on his shoulders decked out in a smaller version of said kit. It seemed the picture caught their mid-laugh and Jamie couldn't help but wonder what that was like, having a laugh with his father. Before Jamie could scroll through any more photos, he heard his mother coming up the stairs.

2.

Years passed and Jamie was eighteen the second time the name Sasha Adair was mentioned in his presence. Freshly turning the legal drinking age in England, he and a couple of his mates decided to hit the pubs. As Jamie threw back shot after shot, beer after beer, it took a toll on his bladder. Desperately needing to relieve himself, Jamie made his way to the back of the pub he currently occupied. He didn’t know if the liquor was getting to him or if he had heard it right, but the name Sasha Adair rang like a church bell in his ear. Stopping just short of the bathroom, he turned to his right. There just across the way from him was a rectangle lighting up with sound and color. Hypnotized by the rectangle, he moved closer to it. It seemed his eyes didn’t want to adjust but thankfully his ears worked just fine. 

A woman's voice came out of the lite up box, “It seems Adair strikes again. It wasn’t too long ago that Alec Adair was making his debut as a Mighty Red. Seems only fitting now that Sasha Adair at just the age of sixteen is undergoing the same fate. What’d you say about that Marge?”  

Another women’s voice sat in Jamie’s ears, “Alec Adair was an absolute menace out on the pitch. And if Sasha is anything like her father when it comes to football, we are in for a ride.”

A little dazed and confused, and still needing to pee, Jamie started to make his way to his desired destination. As he relived himself, he couldn’t help but replay what he had heard just moments before. He didn’t know what to think of it as he was either too drunk or too tired to care. Still, he scoffed slightly under his breath, nepotism was a real fucking bitch.

3. 

Four years later and Jamie was twenty-two and if you asked his teammates, he was the most enormous prick around. That didn’t stop Keeley Jones from dating him and it sure as hell didn’t stop her from having sex with him either. It happened to be that they were at Jamie's house together when he heard the name Sasha Adair for the third time in his life. They had just finished doing the deed, Jamie was in the kitchen grabbing himself a glass of water and a small bite to eat while Keeley sat on the couch just having turned on the telly. 

As what was years ago to Jamie a rectangle with lights and sound turned on, Keeley couldn’t help but let out a gasp, “My god”, she exclaimed. Jamie confused as to what Keeley was reacting to, turned around from the fridge to face the telly playing in the living room.

Up on the telly was the local news channel, Keeley having turned it up to get the full story. 

“Breaking news just in, Earlier this afternoon Manchester United’s women's team player number 11, Sasha Adair was in a devastating collision. Let's go to Richard Tally, who is currently at the scene of the incident,” the screen changed to an older gentleman out in what looked like the countryside.

“Here out in the middle of Aberdeenshire, Scotland, at approximately one-forty-two this afternoon Sasha Adair crashed into this tree over to my right,” the camera spanned over to the news anchor's right side, and there it was. Said tree was broken, hanging on to its bottom half for dear life. And in front of that tree was broken glass, most of the scene having been cleared away. “According to Police Scotland, Adair was traveling at a speed of around 80 kilometers per hour. And my sources say that she wasn’t the only one in the automobile. We don’t know yet her condition, hopefully, she makes a speedy recovery soon. Back to you Beatrice.”

Jamie couldn’t believe it. Underneath that prick exterior, he felt bad for the poor lass. The crash looked quite severe and Jamie didn’t want to think about the pain she might be in. As a professional footballer himself, he knew an incident like that could be the end of one’s career. 

Before he could think on it any further, Keeley interrupted, “That poor girl, I hope she's okay.” Jamie didn’t respond but deep down he wished she was too.

4.

Jamie had just been returned back to Manchester City when he heard Sasha Adair's name come up. Sitting in the locker room, Jamie was tying up his studs, with his fellow teammates when Sasha Adair came up.

“Oi, Tartt. Heard that Richmond got a new coach for the women's team. Alec Adair, right?” O’Gara asked. But before Jamie could answer Hitzemann butted in.

“He shoulda been the one to coach the men, leave Lasso to the girls,” chuckles could be heard around the locker room. 

And just like that the Adair train started. Jamie knew as soon as it kicked off with Alec that it was just going to end with Sasha and of course, he was right.

“Wasn’t it just a couple of years ago that you were dating Sasha Adair, Brimblecom?” Jamie didn’t know who had asked the question as he tried to keep his head down and he really wished he didn’t have to hear the response either.

All eyes flew to Brimblecom, and slowly a cocky smile made its way onto his face, “I sure was, all up until she went fucking mental after the accident.”

It seemed none of the men regarded what was just said as jealous whispers could be heard all around ranging from, “The photos of her don’t do her justice” to “What I would do to tap that” and much more crude remarks. Jamie didn’t participate in said conversation, he was utterly disgusted by the men he called his teammates. If someone talked about Keeley the way they were talking about Sasha he’d go absolutely ballistic. Jamie may be a prick to men, but when it came to women and children he knew never to disrespect them. He just hoped that Sasha was doing alright and relieved that twat Brimblecom wasn’t in her life anymore. 

5. 

Returning to Richmond for the season after getting promoted back into the Premier League, Jamie did not expect to hear Sasha Adair's name. It had happened seconds after Jan Maas had gone on a tangent about statists and teams being promoted. What was really shocking was it was Sam who brought her up. Having just changed into his kit and going to his cubby, Sam picked up his phone only for a notification from a news outlet to pop up. Clinking on it, Sam thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.

“Guys, guys you’ll never guess what I just read”, Sam said with a beaming smile on his face, eyes shining.

“Bruv, please don’t tell me it's another article predicting us to finish last this season”, sighed Isaac. 

“No, it’s about Sasha Adair,” At that the whole room quieted down, seeing Alec Adair in the same building was enough to get them starstruck. But Sasha Adair was a whole other kind of emotion for these men. Sam continued, “She's coming out of retirement”. 

Whispers now collected in the locker room, none of the men believed what they were hearing. While Jamie stood by himself, wondering what the fuck was going on. These men were acting like they were in secondary school, gossiping about a girl. He didn’t think it could get any worse until it did.

Sam wasn’t done talking, “Wait there's more,” Once again it was silent as Sam scrolled through the article. The men were on the edge of their seats, not thinking it could get better from here. At this point Sam was reading through the article at lightning speed, “It says here that she's going to be playing for A.F.C. Richmond”.

At that chaos followed. Will the kit man had to sit down in fear of fainting. Colin and Isaac were giggling like a bunch of school girls. Dani started speaking to himself in Spanish. Zoreaux at a loss for words hoping he doesn’t make a fool out of himself the way he did with Alec Adair. And Richard singing her high praises. The other players having their own mixed reactions. Jamie in particular.

Over the years he had heard her name from multiple sources, both the good and the bad. And now with her about to be in the same building as him, training on the same pitch as him, he was astonished. But he didn’t have time to think about it as he had to get ready to get on the pitch and still had yet to change into his kit.

1.

It had been about a week since the news of Sasha Adair and her coming back out of retirement, playing for Richmond. And so far there has been no sighting of her at Nelson Road. The guys had been trying to see if they could catch a glimpse of her and to no avail they had no luck. All but one of them, all but Jamie Tartt. 

He hadn’t been trying to scout her out, he wasn’t like his teammates in that department. He swears it had just been a chance encounter. It had been weight training day for the men's side of Richmond and Jamie was beyond annoyed. It first started off with him getting barely any sleep due to Roy and his 4 am training schedule. Next, it was the fact that it was weight training day and Bumbercatch almost dropped a dumbbell on Jamies star winning foot. But the icing on top of the already shit cake was Jamie's headband broke, snapped right as he bend down to grab his water bottle. 

Releasing a sigh, he grabbed his water bottle and exited the weight training area, hoping and praying he had an extra headband in his cubical. Ravaging through his duffle bag, jacket, and all the places he could think where it might be, he came up empty-handed. There was nobody else on the team that wore headbands, most of the guys had short hair, minus Dani but still he tied his up. Usually, at a time like this, he would ask someone from the women's team of Richmond. It wouldn’t be a bad idea until he realized, he couldn’t just go out onto the middle of the pitch and interrupt their practice for a goddamn headband. 

Just as he thought he would have to deal with his hair being in his eyes for the remainder of the day, a woman walked past the locker room. Thinking maybe she had a headband, he couldn’t help to all but sprint out into the hallway and stop that girl. 

He called out a couple of times to her, “Excuse me, miss”. There was no response. “Miss! Miss!”. She didn’t even turn around it was almost as if she didn’t hear him or was downright ignoring him. Fed up with calling and not being acknowledged, he ran up to her and tapped her on the shoulder to which she took out an earbud and finally turned around. 

The moment she faced him, was the moment that Jamie Tartt forgot why he even bothered her in the first place. He had never seen a woman more beautiful than the one standing before him, from her hair to her lips to her eyes staring into his own. Fuck he could get lost in those eyes forever. And it seemed he almost did just that but thankful he was able to come back to reality in time to hear her voice.

“Can I help you?” she asked, her breath light and airy. One eyebrow was crooked, curious as to what this man could possibly want.

“Yea, um sorry to bother you. But I was just wondering if you had a headband I could borrow. You see mine broke and usually I have a spare, but dumb meh forgot it at home. And I’d ask one of the guys, though they all mostly have short hair and I just don’t like meh hair getting in meh eyes is all,” at this point Jamie was rambling, it had been a while since he talked to a girl that wasn’t either his mother or Keeley.

Before he could continue on, the woman in front of him seemed to pull something out of her A.F.C. Richmond jacket. Lo and behold, Jamie couldn’t believe his luck, there it was a headband the same color as Richmond’s home kit. “Here, seems like you need this more than I do,” she put the headband in Jamie's hand.

For a second Jamie had lost sense of reality again, with her skin touching his he didn’t know how to think. “Th-thank you, I appreciate it yea”, he started to fiddle around with the headband.

A small smirk overtook her face, “Don’t mention it and actually keep it, I won’t be needing it any time soon”. There was a moment of silence between them before she broke it, “Anyways, I have to get on the pitch or Coach is literally going to skin me alive. But hope the headband helps keep the hair out of your eyes. It was lovely chatting”.

With that, she turned around and was just about to start walking to the weight training room which had a door that lead out onto the pitch when Jamie realized he had no clue who she was. “Wait, I never got your name”, he said to her back.

She turned her head to look at him, ear bud just about to enter her ear again, only to put Jamie in an even bigger state of shock. “Sasha. Sasha Adair”. Just like that, she walked off, leaving Jamie flabbergasted and dumbstruck. He couldn’t believe he had just met the women he had grown up hearing about from coaches, pubs, the telly, his teammates. 

And as he looked down at his hands, to the headband she had given him. He couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe today wasn’t so poopeh after all.