#not even gonna get into how many people got arrested

[iwatcheditbegin]

The most unserious tour

[caraphernellie]

country girl ellie x city girl reader headcanons

oh fuck yeah so excited i love this kind of au!!

warnings: suggestive stuff, femme reader, obviously ellie’s a country gal, reader is wealthy, uhhh . these are super disorganised and probably really lame just things that i thought of ??

✧ ellie moved to the city from the countryside to pursue dreams of becoming an artist (with a scholarship to art school)

✧ she has a southern accent don't get me started

✧ u met her on her way to school. u bump into her and her phone falls to the ground and cracks

✧ ellie definitely has her own judgements about city girls, coming from the south, but she doesn't want to anger u, she's apologising profusely because ur gorgeous and just look expensive

✧ only for u to own up to it, and offering to pay for her phone damages

✧ and ellie's absolutely shocked. she tells u it is really not necessary but u insist by writing down ur number for her and then hurrying off

✧ did someone say u-haul lesbian trope or...

✧ because she wasted no time in pursuing u. there's something about her growing up in the country with nobody but joel raising her that made her extremely unhinged and this was something she couldnt let go

✧ she's so laidback despite u living every day like it's ur last (anxious queen or party girl whichever one u are 💀)

✧ she's so calm, never afraid to get her hands dirty

✧ coming from the countryside where the nearest other human civilisation was the small town twenty miles away, she definitely had some safety concerns and paranoia when it came to the city. definitely a protective gf

✧ u have to constantly remind ellie that she cannot just punch people if they stare at u too long even if it makes her jealous. she will get arrested

✧ she does feel kind of bad and a little insecure at times, wishing she could provide but u spend so much money on her (guitars, art supplies, comics, food) and she's so grateful but feels like a burden sometimes even if u continuously tell her u WANT to

✧ after moving to the city and dating u she finally understood where the stereotype about girls getting ready for ages comes from. it has only ever taken her ten minutes max to get ready in her life and yet u start getting ready three hours before an event

✧ she's kind of super clueless

✧ softdom ellie my beloved

✧ in summer break u went with her to the countryside and she thought it was the funniest thing ever watching u be scared to get dirty

✧ she taught u how to ride a horse and out of nowhere afterwards says "i'll teach you how to ride bareback later, yeah?" with that stupid smirk on her face, patting your thigh while helping you onto the saddle

✧ so reputation coded. so cornelia street coded

✧ she definitely helps u loosen up and become a little less uptight

✧ there was definitely a few times where she'd shovel up horse shit and chase u with it on the shovel just to laugh at ur screaming and "ellieeee-uh!!!!!!!!"

✧ she's the epitome of being super confident about things she's never done before. thinks she's fucking invincible just because she can lift heavy and tolerate the smell of manure

✧ rolls her sleeves up and gets into it

✧ the first time she got into the bedroom with u... did she know entirely what she was doing? no. oh but she had the confidence as if she did know what she was doing

i cant keep going im gonna get carried away i kinda wanna turn this into a proper fic or somethinggg but i have too many ideasss :((

[facefartstories]

Army punishment

"Rise and shine, Fart Face!" BBBRBRRRBBBRRRPPPPTT! "Davis was sitting on top of your chest with his leg lifted in the air and his crotch aimed at your face. The gas blasted from under his ball sack and attacked you for an early wake up call. Ripe ass and strong cheese filled your nose as he stayed in position and wafted the remaining stink into your nose. It was time to awake. All the other recruits had woken up when they were supposed to, but Davis found that you were a heavy sleeper. In his barracks, heavy sleeper get punished with the gas he builds up from the dinner the night before. Before joining the army, you were warned about this lieutenant. He was able to stink out an entire bunker of enemy troops who were quickly arrested after fleeing the dungeon of his stink. A part of basic training was a test... you had to last three hours in a room with nothing to breath but the odor of his farts. You were joining a pretty small squad. Odds were not many people passed that 'fitness' test."Dude, I got more, I think you at least need to TRY and get up." A faint sound of air blew from Davis's pants seam as he made a face of surprise. You knew you were about to get a whiff of even worse stench. BBBRRPPT! BBRMMPPH! BBLLRRRPPT! FFRBBT! BBRPPT! It was constant. You smelled it, you tasted it, you feared if you tried getting up that he'd notice your raging boner. He didn't quit. He would fart, then fan it, fart, then taunt you about how he was gassing you out, fart then he would rub his stomach and tell you about how much more he had. Your cock wasn't going to subside for a while at this point. You could just imagine it being hard all morning long during drills. The group would all laugh at you... and if Davis figured out why, he'd spill it to the whole branch.

"RRRRRMMMPPHHH!"I'm telling you fucker, it's about to get BAD! I'd get up and out if I were you. I'd head to higher ground before I get too comfy, if I get too comfy... this is gonna take a good while." Davis was having a good laugh until he leaned back and his hand poked your stiff cock. "What's this? Holy Fuck! I think he likes it. You like it huh Fart Face?" Davis farted, and farted, and farted some more. You were in a trance watching his face contort and twist as he pushed them out. You were in heaven until you realized that he was actually still pretty upset that you were sleeping in. He grabbed your collar and threw you to the floor. "Get your face into my crotch you fucking fart sniffing faggot!" You did as you were told and your nose pressed into the seam of his pants and you smelled the rank odor of his stale leftover stench to the power of ten. His next fart was phenomenal. Thirty seconds of rank, ripe, cheesy smelling fart assaulted your nose and Davis pulled your face in tighter to his crotch to ensure that you could not escape. Not that you would try. Since just finding out you were a helpless little fart sniffing faggot, he knew you were going to be the most loyal soldier he had. "Mmm, I bet that smells good don't it faggot? I bet you can't wait for that test where I gas you and your little buddies out to test their will power and their stomaches from my stink. Keep sniffing you disgusting freak!" BBBBRRMMMMPPPHHHH! "Better yet, suck my dick off and I'll fart down your fucking faggot throat every opportunity we can get alone... hell... I may even encourage the others to start fartin' in your faggot face like it's some sort of contest or right of passage. You'd like that won't you, you fucking bitch?!" Davis unzipped his pants and you swallowed his flaccid cock to suck on it while he kept your head in farting range. FFFFRBBBBBT BBBRRAAPPPPFFFTT! FFRBBT! that's a good boy. Smell that alpha gas, eat up that alpha stench, worship it, suck on that alpha cock! I'm gonna fart in your face for the rest of your life." At this point you were spilling cum into your pants as Davis told you just how the rest of your life would go. If he were being truthful, you indeed had the best life. A desperate little fart fag with a master who was gassier than any military combined. As you continued snitting, his cum shot into your mouth and he held it shut til you swallowed. You tried keeping him on the bed to fart some more, but you angered him. "Get the fuck up ya little fart faggot! You're still doing 100 burpees for being in bed so late." You watched his ass jiggle out the door and you grinned.You were gonna like having Davis as your boss.

Let me know what you guys think in the chat below.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More headcanons of the Nimona trio being domestic dorks

Whenever the trio gets sick of each other they’ll ask the person in the trio they’re not pissed at to handle them

It always goes something like this “Ambrosius come get your kid they won’t leave me alone-“ “No Nemesis come get your husband he’s being a stick in the mud”

Or “Bal go get your son from prison he got arrested again” “Oh so he’s my son today?” “Yes when he’s stupid enough to get caught he’s your son” 

If you're wondering why Nimona doesn't just escape its cause they find it hilarious when Bal has to come to bail them out at random points in the day

There are also times when they’re proud or happy and they’ll say things like “I’m gonna go get my daughter ice cream” “Since when is she just your daughter?” “Since right now when she helped me fix my prosthetic” 

“Hey boss where’s my Nemesis I heard he got in a fight today” “I thought he was my Nemesis” “Not when he puts three guys in the hospital he’s not” 

Bal is one of those people who sees something and says “Why would I buy that when I can just make it” AND HE DOES

Nimona has a bad habit of fucking up speakers so Bal just set up a sound system throughout the house 

If the trio weren’t such antisocial losers with three friends combined their parties would be amazing

He made Ambrosius a skincare cabinet just so he could put actual medicine in the medicine cabinet 

When Nimona moved in he asked them what their ideal room would look like 

She gave him a rough draft and he did all of it

They spend a week tearing that room apart so they could soundproof it so she could rock out without disturbing the boys

She has sick ass LED lights and she’ll change the colors depending on her mood 

Ambrosius and Bal helped her paint the walls the most obnoxious shade of neon pink And then they didn’t complain when she spray painted over said walls 

It’s worth it to see her visibly relax when she enters her room

This man has gutted and put back together and rearranged their little house so many times it’s unrecognizable 

I also feel like everyone in the trio is a crafty bitch

They all have a million little hobbies that have produced even more trinkets that fill up their whole house 

Their house is this weird combination of comfy yet chaotic and it's a minimalists nightmare 

Cleaning is also a nightmare but they wouldn't change it for anything 

Back when they were in the institute Ambrosius was a terrible cook -♾️/10 his cooking would put people in the hospital 

After the knighting ceremony was the first time he was living by himself and didn’t have access to free food so he taught himself how to cook

Honestly most people would think he would give up

I mean there are only so many times you set water on fire before you throw in the towel

But he's a stubborn brat and cooking took his mind off of everything so he stuck with it

One day Bal came home to the smell of cooking and he assumed it was Nimona 

He swears to this day he had a heart attack when he saw Ambrosius in front of the stove and Nimona comfortably sitting at the dinner table not helping at all

He promptly dragged Nimona out of there like a bomb just went off and warned him not to touch Ambrosius’ food

He told Bal “The more you call it a biohazard the more I want to eat it” 

So Bal used him like a test dummy 

When Nimona finally did try it they turned to Bal and complained that he lied 

Bal thought he was being pranked until he was forced by Nimona to try the food 

And it was good 

More than good I was fucking amazing 

He asked Ambrosius quite frankly “Who are you and what have you done with my husband” 

Ambrosius just rolled his eyes and told him to eat the food

Bal never gave up on finding out how and slowly but surely he started asking like a normal person

And Ambrosius never answered like a normal person

His answers would range from “A chef never reveals his secrets” (“that’s a magician love” “just zip it and eat your food”) to “I’m never telling you so suffer and finish this meal I lovingly cooked” (“is it still considered love if you knew I was gonna suffer?” “Yes” “…. Makes sense”)

[llamagoddessofficial]

Llamaaaaa, I’ve got major brain rot over the Maifia babes! Would the situation/ romancing of reader change much if she were the daughter of a rival, Don or a straight and narrow police captain?

oooh... the daughter of a police captain? It might change a few things

Sans: He lies to everyone. Her dad is no exception. He's dedicated every aspect of himself to ensuring she belongs to him- what's one more person to lie to? Though staging her father's death was certainly an option, Sans draws an oddly specific line at killing family (wonder why?).

Sans is charming, in the way many stereotypical sociopaths are. He plays the safe, stable, polite boyfriend that wins her family over with bad jokes and good manners. His facade of having a boring and safe (yet very successful) banking job means Mc's dad might even actively prefer Sans over her past partners, because he believes she'll be safe.

And... well. He's not wrong. The only times Sans has ever been honest with Mc's father was when asked if he loved her, and if he'd keep her safe.

Red: Fuck cops. Red's gonna be the irresistible bad boy with a heart of gold, the attractive and dangerous side of life that she's been denied until now. Power and glamour and parties and all the wild luxuries and freedoms his protection brings- what's her dad gonna do, arrest him for taking a consenting pretty lady on expensive dates? Red likes subtly gloating about how the cops have absolutely no evidence against him for anything.

... He's also going to show her the reality of the police. He'll show her just why he's so antagonistic toward a captain. Things are a lot more complex than her 'straight and narrow' dad has lead her to believe, it's never been as simple as the good cops vs. the evil monsters... why do you think he got so powerful in the first place, doll? Here's a clue; it wasn't because the cops were well liked.

... Cop or not, though, Red gets antsy at the thought of her losing someone she loves. So for the time being, Mc's dad is unaware that Red's 'family' have designated him completely off-limits. Red may despise everything her father stands for, but he's not going to let the man die.

Skull: It doesn't change much about his wooing method. He's still a mess, he still tries to win her over with classical romance methods and pretty things. Who her family is has absolutely no meaning to him. Though... he might start deliberately targeting people who pose a threat to her, considering her dad is most likely well known.

Honestly, if it gets to the point where she's bringing Skull home to meet her family, I can see Mc's dad taking something of a weird shine to Skull. Not knowing about the giant's crimes, obviously. Skull might be physically imposing, but her dad has met a lot of imposing people, and when Skull is around Mc he just seems so... harmless. Like a puppy following her around, waiting for a pat. Skull's total adoration is so clear and untainted that it shines through his terrible appearance.

Her dad gets the strong feeling that no matter what Skull does, he will always put Mc first. He approves of that.

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

Caught

Gibbs x Reader One Shot

Prompt: You’re Gibbs’ wife and an NCIS agent and see your underage son at a bar while out on a sting operation.

Mentions of drinking.

You fixed your earrings in the car mirror and made sure your ear piece was secured.

“Testing audio. Y/L/N, you look absolutely ravishing in that dress. You should wear it more often,” Tony flirted.

“Jethro. Smack him for me please.”

All you heard was the familiar sound of hand meeting head and smiled.

“Alright so we need to make sure he either provides us with the name of his boss or the address where they’re hiding him. Remember, he only agreed to this meeting because he thinks you’re a double agent. Don’t leave the bar with him and if he gets spooked, we’ve got Torres inside already at the bar,” your husband lectured.

“Yes honey. I got it.”

You walked across the parking lot and into the semi crowded club, looking for your mark without seeming obvious. You spotted Nick first, pretending to nurse a drink at the bar and then saw your mark, sitting not far away at a high top table.

You walked over and took a seat across from him.

“Powell?” you asked.

“Yeah. You must be Agent Stanton,” he confirmed.

“So how do you want to do this? You gonna give me the name of your employer? Or I’ll settle for an address of where he’ll be.”

“Slow your role Agent. We’ll get there. First I wanna know a little bit about you. How is it that an NCIS agent with an outstanding background turns on her own?”

Remembering the backstory Abby created for you, you rolled your eyes and recited your lines. “It was a good run for a while. But doesn’t pay nearly as much as gun running.”

He nodded and sat back in his chair, thinking.

“Listen. If you’re not the guy to come to for stuff like this, I can find someone else. You just seemed like someone in charge.”

He scoffed, clearly offended, “Oh I am, and if anyone says anything different they find out the truth real quick.”

“Did Agent Carter find out the truth?”

He squinted his eyes at you in suspicion just as a familiar laugh broke through the silence.

Turning your head, you look over towards the VIP section of the club and can’t believe what you see. Your 17 year old son laughing and drinking with a bunch of older men and women. Had you not been on an important op, you would’ve walked over and dragged him out of there by his ear.

“Before we continue, I need a drink. Would you like one?” You ask, grabbing your purse and trying to contain your anger.

“Another Jack and Coke.”

You nodded and turned to walk toward the bar.

“What are you doing?” Tony asked through the ear piece.

“Jethro. I just spotted our son laughing and drinking with a bunch of people in the VIP section. Do something now before I march over there and blow this whole operation.”

“Torres. Get over there and bring him out here to us. Quietly,” Jethro ordered.

As you reached the bar, Torres left and you ordered 2 whiskey and cokes, genuinely now needing a drink. While walking back over to your table, you saw Torres pulling your son aside out of the corner of your eye.

“Here you go. Now. Where were we?”

————

You stomped over to the surveillance van and threw open the doors, meeting the eyes of your son who already looked like he had been thoroughly chastised.

“Tell me why on God’s green earth were you in that club with a group of people twice your age!”

Tim and Tony were both quiet as your husband stood in the back with his arms crossed. “I wasn’t even drinking mom. My friend invited me and knew the bouncer. I was just having fun.”

“Having fun? You do know that is a place where very dangerous individuals like to hang out don’t you? You could’ve “had fun” in so many different ways than what you did. You put yourself at risk for all different types of dangers, not to mention arrest, had anyone knew you were underage!”

He stayed quiet, not looking you in the eyes and took a deep breath. “Out. Now. You’re riding with me and your father.”

“But Tony said I could-

“Hey now, I didn’t exactly promise anything,” Tony defended himself with his hands up.

“Get. Out. Now.”

Both him and Jethro exited the van and you all walked over to the secondary car with Jethro driving. For about half the ride, it was completely silent until you broke it.

“You are grounded for a month. No games, no computer, and you get the emergency phone only. We expect you home every night at exactly 6pm, any later without a solid excuse and your grounding sentence gets added to. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t yeah your mother. Does she make herself clear?” Jethro said sternly, backing you up.

“Yes, sir.”

You closed your eyes and tried not thinking about all the ways the night could’ve gone wrong. Jethro must of sensed your anxiety because you felt his hand rest on your thigh and give it a reassuring squeeze.

“We’re not trying to be mean S/N. We just want you to really understand the dangers in what you did and that it can’t go unpunished. We love you.”

“I know. Love you guys too,” he answered, softly, making you tear up.

“Now we’re gonna go home, you’re going to give us all your electronics and then help your father down in the basement.”

There was an obvious groan from him and you both smiled. Putting your hand on top of Jethros, you lock eyes with him and he gives you his famous smirk.

[talaok]

Hi! No pressure at all but can you write some smut for Tyler Galphin please?

You're an awesome writer I absolutely loved your A Small Bed fic 😄

Pairing:Tyler Galpin x Fem!reader

summary: after you got arrested for having kidnapped Tyler and then released, he comes to visit you in your room, and well, all that anger has to end up somewhere...

warnings: SMUT(unprotected -angry-sex)

A/n: so here’s the thing I hated him the whole time except for the last episode. So I wrote about that.(sorry this took so long)

"The monster fucks well sweetheart"

“What does it feel like?” “What does what feel like?” “To lose” Your mouth gaped open and you felt your eyes fill with tears. You were right. You knew you had been right but hearing it felt diffrent. Seeing with your own two eyes all the liveliness in his pupils disappear was diffrent. You felt your heart slow down, like even he couldn’t believe what was going on. You had known. You know you had known. You had had the vision and then you had connected the dots. You knew you were right, as heartbreaking as it felt you knew he was the hyde, he had killed all those people, but a small part of you apparently still hoped that inside that monster, inside that creature who massacred so many innocent people there was still a good part, still Tyler. But you were wrong. There was no Tyler, only the hyde remained in the now empty body in front of you. Only the monster. He took a step towards you and you took a step back instinctively. "What, are you scared of me?" his mouth twitched into a sinister grin. Your breathing was getting labored, but you couldn't let him see it. Ordering your chest to expand at a normal velocity. "because of the things I did?" he took another step. This time you didn't move. You weren't scared. He wasn't scary. He was never gonna hurt you. Not now, not when he knew he had won. He wanted you to suffer. "because of the people I killed?" he tilted his head to the side, taking another step. The room felt empty, like he was annihilating every other object, killing them just like he had killed all those people. It was yours before. It was you. It was your room, where you had gone to after running out of the police station, just after you had been arrested for having kidnapped him. And then you had opened the door, and he had entered and it wasn't yours anymore. It was nothing. it was fear and delusion mixed with sorrow, but definitely, not the room you had slept in, laughed in and cried in for the past 2 months. He was in front of you. Lurking over you like the predator he actually was. "because of who I am ?" he raised his eyebrow You looked up at him, anger so extremely clear on your face that you wondered how he looked so incredibly unfazed by it. You could feel all your organs compressing, the rage for being beaten, the rage for being humiliated, and for having lost crushing your every bone. You wanted to punch him more than you wanted to breathe. "I'm not scared of you Tyler" you said "I'll never be" you hissed "you're nothing but a pet" you stepped closer to him this time " a very obedient pet who does anything their master wants" you chuckled "If anything, I pity you. You're pathetic" Not a single emotion trespassed him. Like he had heard nothing of what you had just said "y/n" he bent down to whisper in your ear "as much as I like seeing that pretty mouth of yours lie " he scoffed " we both know that's not true" his breath was so hot against your ear and throat, it was difficult to concentrate "You are scared of me" his fingers traced along your arm "scared of what I can do" you felt him smile "scared of who I am" his fingers hooked under your chin, bringing your eyes to his "you are scared of me y/n" You swallowed what felt like the densest piece of saliva you'd ever encountered. "and you should be" "You'd never hurt me" you spat out "you want to see me suffer" a sparkle ignited in his eyes, finally somewhat alive "you don't want to kill me" you said finally "you can't" "oh" he laughed bitterly "now, we both know that's not true" he said "but I appreciate you trying" a grin appeared on his lips "you're cute when you lie" "fuck you" you whispered "I'm not lying" his fingers under your chin traced your jawline. "aw" he cooed "you're angry" yeah, no shit sherlock "but I think you're looking at it the wrong way" "Oh am I now?" you gritted incredulously "because to me it seemed like being completely humiliated to the point everyone thinks I'm batshit crazy while I know I'm right and you are still free is a good enough reason to be angry" He smiled as he shook his head "but see" his thumb stroked your cheek and you pretended it didn't still make you melt"I think you're relieved it went this way" you scoffed, "Why? why on earth would I be?" His other hand found its way to your waist "because if I did go to jail" he inhaled "you wouldn't have been able to see me for a long time" he laughed "and we both know how you wouldn't want that" Fuck his hand on you felt like fire, even after all this time. Even after you discovered what he was. It was awful, you knew, but there wasn't anything you could do about it, anything other than pretending, other than faking your uncaringness. "Yeah right" you scoffed again "so you are saying you wouldn't have missed my mouth so close to yours?" he said, leaning closer to you" my hands on you?" he paused as his hand caressed your side" missed me inside of you?" now it was your turn to pause, You had no idea what to say. There was a part of you that knew, with an angry, hateful certainty that he was right, but there was also a side that was fighting, fighting to make common sense prevail, to make it win somehow in this earthquake of chaos. you didn't have enough brain capacity to respond at the moment. the only thing that got out of you was a shy exhale. He smirked "you know I'm right" he forced you to look up at him again with his fingers. No. You were not gonna let him win so easily. "You're not" you said, hoping to sound more sincere than you actually were. He laughed "so stubborn" he said with amusement "and yet so painfully wrong" He smiled as he bent down, pressing his lips on yours, his mouth feeling so soft while being so harsh on yours. He was right and he was determined to prove it. You damned yourself as you closed your eyes, inevitably parting your lips for his tongue. The hand on your side traveled to your back, forcing you ever so close to him. "so you wouldn't have missed that?" he leaned away way too soon. God, you hated him. Him and his stupid smugness and his stupid talented mouth. "no, I wouldn't have" you lied He smiled proudly, like he wanted you to say that, like he was just waiting for a challenge and you had just presented him with the best possible one. "Is that so?" "hm-hm" you agreed "so when I kiss you you don't feel anything?" "Exactly" "And when I touch you?" his hand went to the hem of your skirt, hooking his finger in it "nothing" you gulped "not even when I can feel how wet you are?" he asked, as his fingers cupped your clothed cunt. "no" you murmured He tsked "and what about when I move your panties aside?" he murmured against your lips while he did just that. "I-" you tried, but the words were stuck in your throat "still nothing huh? I'm gonna have to try harder it seems" he said as he passed his index between your folds, coating himself of your wetness before moving his attention to your clit. You bit your lip so as not to moan as he circled it. You didn't want to give him that, the satisfaction of knowing how good he was making you feel. he kept massaging your clit and you kept biting your own skin, seconds away from tasting blood. "still nothing?" he raised an eyebrow and you were gonna punch him if it wasn't for your knees feeling so weak. You shook your head as heavy breaths escaped your mouth. He chuckled "I thought you might say that" He retracted his hand, making you whimper at the loss of contact. "but you know" he stroked your lip with his thumb "there's one thing I have tried" he looked at you "and I have a feeling it might change your mind" You smiled “you think?” He laughed hoarsely “I do” he said taking a step, your back hitting the cold wall “And what makes you so sure?” “It has worked before” he moved his hands underneath your skirt, one on each side of you, feeling the fabric of your useless panties “And it’s only right to give it a shot, don’t you think?” “If you believe so” you murmured” but just so you know, I severely doubt you’re right” “We’ll see” his fingers gripped your underwear, pulling them down enough for them to fall at your feet "I have a feeling you might change your mind" he said, his hot breath against your cheek as you heard the zipper of his jeans being unzipped. He pulled them down just enough to get his dick out, his big stupid dick that had made you come times and times before. You swallowed nervously as you looked down, and he noticed, grinning. " changed your mind yet sweetheart?" "nope" your voice was pathetically trembling "and don't call me sweetheart" "Oh but why?" he asked as if he was actually hurt. he raised one of your legs to his waist "you seemed to like it not so long ago" he kissed you briefly "Actually" he let go of your leg "you loved it" "yeah well that was before" you said coldly. He hummed, contemplating perhaps "jump" he said, and you complied. Completely and utterly conscious of making a mistake, a really hot and stupid mistake. You were trapped between him and the wall, your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck. his eyes were burning through you and his cock was just against your clit. "you mean before you found out who I was?" one of his hands left your waist to position his dick at your entrance "who I am?" Really, he wanted to do this now? You didn't answer, you just scowled at him. "tell me" he said "or I'm not gonna do it" Fucking asshole "Yes Tyler. yes" you huffed "see, that was easy wasn't it?" he said smugly as he finally pushed his tip in. You sank down on him, as he stretched you out perfectly, little shocks of pleasure coursing through you with every inch added, until he bottomed out. "fuck" you sighed "Yeah," he pulled almost completely out just to thrust harshly inside of you, a gasp fled your mouth "The monster fucks well sweetheart" he said, as he did it again, this time not stopping, but developing a deadly rhythm. You tried to stop yourself, you really did, but you couldn't do anything to control the shameless, pathetic moans emerging from your throat and filling the empty room. "tell me again" he kept going "tell me that you don't miss me" he laughed through labored breaths, "tell me you don't miss this". "tell me sweetheart " he was hitting every single spot,  you forced your eyes shut as he pushed into you again, even harder somehow "tell me I'm a monster, go on" he murmured against your ear "tell me how much you hate me" It was a weird feeling, being so turned on by someone while simultaneously hating them so deeply, so fondly that you kind of wished they would just drop dead right now. And what was even weirder, was having that same person, the one you wished dead, inside of you, splitting you in half so fucking well. "f-fuck you" you managed to get out. He smiled against your mouth before kissing it. It was a mess, a wet and moan-y mess, symbolizing your defeat and his triumph over you. there was no point in fighting him, he was gonna win, that's what he meant, that's what the kiss meant. "Feisty as ever" he smiled cockily "but a bit too smug for someone whose pussy I'm fully inside of right now" He said, not even letting you catch your breath before he brought his hand to your clit. "J-just shut up" you said exasperated "Oh no sweetheart" he circled your clit "you shut up" he kissed your cheek "I won" he kissed your jawline "I beat you Y/n" now your neck, never stopping his thrusts or fingers either "I get to talk" now the skin just below your ear "I get to say everything I want" he looked at you now "you on the other hand" he chuckled "well you can't" "Because you lost" there was such a tight knot in your belly that you felt like you were gonna explode, and as much as you wanted to tell him to fuck off, or that he was a crazy bastard, that stupid feeling distracted you, and only a series of high-peached groans lest your mouth, as you got closer and closer to your much-earned relief. "what you can't even talk?" he said, as his cock was wrapped tightly around your walls "You can't even answer me?" he defied you "can't even tell me how much I disgust you huh?" his fingers kept moving fast "If I had known this was all it took to shut you up, I would have done it a long time ago" There was sweat on his forehead and his eyes were cruising all over your face, examing and without a doubt enjoying every single expression, every single muscle contorting as he was fucking you hard. "You're coming" he breathed out, feeling your walls clenching around him "god you feel so fucking good when you squeeze me sweetheart" he mumbled, his thrusts getting sloppier "Come y/n, just give up baby" he groaned "You already fucking lost anyway". A fire exploded inside you, spreading through your whole body, you shouted his name and then other profanities as your body convulsed from the pleasure, abandoning yourself completely to the feeling, and then you felt him come too, his hot cum filling you up deeply. You both caught your breath silently as he put you down on the floor. Your legs weren't all that ready as they stumbled beneath your weight. " Well, shit" you exhaled, looking up at him in disbelief as he grinned "I still hate you you know?" "Oh, I know" he smiled " trust me I know"

[munsonhoneybaby]

i’d love to see a drabble or a blurb with eddie and the fishnets👀

yet again this one got away from me lol so it's a little long for a drabble but i hope you enjoy !!

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering

A/N: takes place in the too much in common realm but isn't a part of the main series !! song is witchy woman by the eagles <3

In a town like Hawkins, there weren’t many occasions that fishnets were suitable for. So, by the time you did eventually wear them again, you had pretty much forgotten about the ‘promise’ you’d made Eddie. He hadn’t, of course.

“Are you sure we have to go, baby?” His fingers clawed at your hips through the thin black dress you wore. “C’mon, let’s just stay in tonight.”

“I didn’t just spend two hours getting ready to ‘stay in’. Plus, I’m excited. I like getting out of town and doing things every now and then, and Steve said this place is supposed to be really cool.” You eyed him in the mirror as you swiped on some lip gloss. The red of his button-up was so deep it was almost black, tucked into his black jeans with the top three buttons undone. Silver chains hung from his belt loops, matching his rings and the barbell in his tongue that had just recently finished healing. Another silver chain sat around his wrist which was soon joined by a hair tie, his boots thudding heavily– even on the carpet– when he grabbed it from your nightstand.

“I don’t know how much of a club person I’m gonna be,” He warned you. “I don’t really dance.”

“Just because you don’t doesn’t mean you can’t,” You pointed out. “And you don’t really have to dance, I’m not expecting you to waltz. You just have to grind on me, and that I know you can do.”

He gave a conceding sigh. “Fine, I guess if it’s an excuse to dry hump you in public we can go.”

“Ever the romantic, Munson.”

The others were already ordering the first round when you got there, the bartender passing out shots until you reached the bar and Steve pushed two more toward you. “Took you guys long enough!” He called over the music.

“Can’t rush perfection, Harrington.” Grabbing the small glass, you passed the other one to Eddie. Knocking it back, you determined it was vodka and not tequila with a grateful nod to Robin. “Are we getting a table?”

“You two grab one, I wanna get another round!” Robin shouted back with enthusiasm.

Flashing her a thumbs up, you grabbed a hold of Eddie’s hand and ushered him toward a big, dimly lit corner booth. “There’s a lot ‘a people here,” He observed as you set your purse on the table.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Drawing him in with your arms around his neck, you hummed, “Just you ‘n me, as far as I’m concerned.”

He palmed at your ass through the silky black satin of your dress as he countered, “The things I’d do to you if it were just you ‘n me would get us arrested if I did them here, babe.”

“Alright, you guys can play grab-ass in a minute, we’re doing more shots!” Steve called as the three of them approached the table, all of them carrying at least one.

“No more for me, I’ve gotta take her home after all this.” Leaning over your shoulder, he prepared to push it back across the table to Steve but was stopped by your hand over his.

“Uh, excuse you. I can drink for two, thank you.” Holding his hands up in surrender, he raised his eyebrows, making a smile crack through your falsely offended expression. He didn’t blink as he watched you swallow down one shot after the other. A clear droplet escaped your mouth, rolling down your neck to disappear between the valley of your breasts and into your dress. He could so vividly imagine how it would taste to follow the intoxicating trail with his tongue.

His gaze was ripped from your chest by the snap of Steve’s fingers, who was giving him a knowing, playfully chastising look. “Could you keep it in your pants a little while longer, Munson?”

You were too engrossed in a conversation with Nancy to pay them any mind as he responded. “Shh, you’re gonna get me in trouble. And I’ll have you know, I have the patience of a saint,” He added unconvincingly.

That finally got your attention, making you let out a little snort. “Oh-kay, babe, if you say so.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just c’mon, I’m ready to dance!”

“You mean you’ve drank enough to now?” He scoffed as you dragged him away from the table.

“Yep!” The music vibrated through the floors as you led him through the half-crowded dance floor. You weaved through the various friends, couples, and parties until you found a comfortable gap. Your boyfriend just chuckled and shook his head.

Turning to face him, you let your arms settle loosely around his neck once again as you moved to the music. His hands squeezed at your waist before moving lower to knead at the small of your back. The two of you eyed each other lovingly, with you brushing a few unruly strands of hair back from his face as he admired the hazy halo the lights cast around you. Before you could think of something to say to excuse your silent drooling, the sound of the next song beginning distracted you. The soft, deep thrum of guitars and bass had the faintest excited gasp escaping your lips. “I love this song!”

raven hair and ruby lips

sparks fly from her fingertips

echoed voices in the night

she’s a restless spirit on an endless flight

His hands held you steady as you bowed back ever so slightly, head tilting as you swayed in his arms. You slowly began to wind your hips in time with the music, silently mumbling the chorus. Eddie smiled softly, humming along as he watched your eyes fall closed.

woo-hoo, witchy woman

see how high she flies

woo-hoo, witchy woman

she got the moon in her eye

He caught you by surprise when he took both of your hands, spinning you and bringing his arms over your head to cross around your waist. You giggled and squealed quietly, tilting your head to look over your shoulder at him as your back pressed to his chest. “See, Munson, you’ve got moves!”

“As long as I still don’t have t’a dust off my waltz, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve,” He promised.

 

she held me spellbound in the night

dancin’ shadows and firelight

crazy laughter in another room

and she drove herself to madness with a silver spoon

You could already feel him half-hard against you as you wound your hips more intently. Eddie’s fingers dragged up your fishnet-covered thighs, lifting the skirt of your dress dangerously high before moving to grab at your waist again. “Driving me fuckin’ crazy, baby. Know I love you so much, right?”

Head falling back against his chest, you gazed up at him with glossy eyes and a tipsy grin. “I love you too, Eds. Love you so much.” His hands wandered, rubbing over your sides and your stomach as his hips ground into you. Your own hand reached back to wind into his hair, curls growing frizzier in the warmth of the club. Goosebumps began to raise on your skin when he mouthed sloppily at your neck, teeth grazing a sensitive spot before lifting to tug at your earlobe. With the way the blood was rushing in his veins and his head was starting to swim, he may as well have been as drunk as you. The sweet smell of your perfume and the taste of your skin was still enough to make the room spin.

woo-hoo, witchy woman

see how high she flies

woo-hoo, witchy woman

she got the moon in her eye

Far be it from him to complain when you grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him in the direction of the bathroom before the song could even reach its instrumental break. You had never been so grateful for a single-person restroom in your life. Eddie hissed and laughed when you let the door slam shut, fingers clawing at the buttons of his shirt as he reached around you to lock it.

You only managed to get two of the buttons undone before his hand covered yours, pressing it against his chest to stop you as he chuckled softly. “Baby, baby– not here.”

Huffing, you pouted up at him. “Then why’d you let me bring you in here?”

“Well, it wasn’t to strip naked in a public bathroom,” He confirmed. Urging you backward, he didn’t stop until your lower back met the sink counter. “I do seem to remember a promise a certain someone made me a couple months ago, though.”

“Eddie,” You whine. Clutching at his shirt, you tried to draw his body to yours completely as he stood between your legs. “I don’t remember, just touch me. I’ll do whatever you want me to later, but–”

“Oh, I’m gonna need that in writing, babe. Right now, though, you just have to lean back and spread your legs f’me. Okay, sweet girl?”

Nodding, you were already sighing in relief when his hands guided your thighs back toward your chest. He peeled your panties to the side from underneath your fishnets, and it wasn’t until you felt his tongue drag through the wetness he found there that you finally remembered the oh-so-important promise you’d made. 

well, i know you want a lover; let me tell you, brother

she’s been sleepin’ in the devil’s bed

and there’s some rumors going ‘round, someone’s underground

she can rock you in the nighttime ‘til your skin turns red

You were already a mess, your dress bunched around your waist and straps falling off your shoulders. Your disheveled hair wouldn’t be so easy to fix, but it was clear to see you had little concern for what your fellow patrons would think. No, you were too focused on the feeling of Eddie sliding two fingers into you as his tongue ring massaged your clit.

If he were a responsible boyfriend, he would remind you to quiet down, but he just couldn’t help himself. He loved when you got drunk– loved when he could see the tension in your shoulders melt away and you got warm, and giggly, and loud– loved when you’d moan and gasp his name without even realizing you were doing it because the first and only thing you were thinking about was how good he made you feel. 

So, when you cried out that you were gonna come, he didn’t stop. He didn’t hush you, or cover your mouth with his hand. He just crooked his fingers to the spot he knew always made your insides melt and hummed encouragingly against the wet warmth of your cunt, mesmerized by the sight of you writhing on the counter before him.

Hips still twitching with the aftershocks of your orgasm, you pulled him to you for a sloppy kiss that had him panting like a dog in heat. The doe-eyed look you gave him when you finally spoke was almost enough to make him drop to his knees for you a second time. “Take me home, Eds.”

woo-hoo, witchy woman

see how high she flies

woo-hoo, witchy woman

she got the moon in her eye

<3

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[adventuringblind]

Drive Forever With You

Chapter Two: Discoveries, birds and bees.

Max verstappen x Lando norris x Charles leclerc x reader

Genre: idk man it's a series

Summary: The reader has been used by her father for many things, resulting in some interesting quirks. When her father ends up under house arrest, she finds herself tangled in a world of fast cars, love, and inhuman abilities.

Chapter summary: Max and Reader become friends, Seb is a proud dad, and the reader is learning about people and feelings. Despite the chapter title, I swear there is nothing sexual going on.

Warnings: mentions of abuse, talks of sickness, injury descriptions, SH and Suicidal ideation

Notes: it's gonna get dark, but have no fear it will get better, I swear. Also, please don't read if you get triggered. I got triggered but read anyways because if your like me somehow reading what fictional me is doing helps immensely. I just ask that you be careful. My inbox and asks are always open :)

Previous <-

Masterlist

Max had quickly learned that this girl was the only one who understood him. She somehow knew exactly what he was thinking. Exactly what he needed. It was ridiculous because he felt that he couldn't reciprocate.

The two had formed their own little team. Max would sneak away with his data to see her, and she would tell him everything he needed to fix in a way he actually understood. Not just being talked at for hours about his mistakes.

He didn't realize someone could nicely tell him what he was doing wrong and also compliment him on things he was doing right. The concept was foreign.

He quickly found himself looking for her all the time. She looked fragile compared to everyone else. Like the wind could pull her away.

But he also couldn't get a read on her quite yet.

Seb, on the other hand, had learned much more in the span of a couple of months. Things that didn't make him any less concerned.

He quickly found that her favorite hobby was doing incredibly stupid things that could get her hurt or even killed. Even the mundane daily tasks. It's like if he didn't feel pain, then she was doing something wrong. He blames it on her prior upbringing.

He frequently caught her with bloodied arms and legs. Trying to do stupid stunts that had her neck almost snapping. She once decided to see how tall of a building she could jump off of 'for science'.

Seb could not, for the life of him, decided whether she actually wanted to die or just didn't understand the concept of safety and healing.

He tried to keep eyes on her. Not always his, but anyone's. Max included.

He was immensely grateful for the Dutch. He pratically was glued to her side. He could tell she wasn't used to the amount of interaction with people, but the smile that creeper on her face at Max's dumb jokes told him everything he needed to know.

Max had ended up catching her once. His giddy state morphed into a panicked one. He had found her messing with one of the broken ferrari engines in his downtime. He had initially been curious until he realized the engine was hot from tools, and she was doing her best to press her hands against it.

He'd fussed over her for hours. He was completely lost as to how she wasn't showing any pain. Even as he lather her hand in burn ointments and wrapped them.

Max stuck even closer to her after that.

Seb had also learned that when she wanted to protect, she wouldn't hesitate to say what she felt. including to Jos Verstappen.

He felt scared when he stumbled upon Max behind her and Jos in front. The younger Dutch is trying to look stoic but failing and the older getting increasingly angry. Y/N in between them, her mouth moving steadly, the string of compliment for Max seemingly never ending.

Seb stepped in and pulled everyone apart. He tried to talk to her, but her attention was on Max. Completely set on making sure he was okay and dragging him off to somewhere safe.

~

It was strange for Max to have a friend like this. He'd not had many growing up. Yet here he was, feeling close to a girl he'd known for about five months.

It was now summer break. Seb, having seen the two interact, decided to invite the Dutch over for a weekend. His dad was last then happy about it but didn't want to look bad in front of a world champion, so he said yes.

Seb had never heard her talk so much. She was happy and he was glad to see her smile.

Hanna had to force them to sleep at some point. Something that the girl was less than fond of. Sleep was always difficult. Sometimes, Sébastien would stay in her room if he had a feeling she was going to wake up screaming.

He hadn't thought tonight would be one of those nights. Max was in the spare room, and she was in hers. This means that Max woke up to the thrashing first. Her wall right up against his.

He knew it might be an invasion of privacy, but when he heard sniffling, he didn't care. He threw himself out of the bed and made for the door.

He made sure to knock before opening the door. He waited for a possible answer but is only met with the sound of sobs now.

Then the screaming starts.

Seb is out of bed in an instant. Knowing how bad her night terrors got, he knew he needed to act fast.

He was shocked to find her door already open, and Max gently crouched over her. The screams had stopped, but she was still sobbing. Hugging Max like her life depended on it.

Seb smiled at the two and gave them a moment. He was releived she found someone who cared about her.

He knew he had to get her back to bed, though. He crept over to Max and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll take it from here." Max looks up at the older man. That same awkwardness about being in a world champion's house now escalated. "Thank you, for staying with her." Seb added in a hope of reassuring the Dutch.

Max just nodded his head and slipped out from her bed. Seb takeong his place and laying her head on his lap.

She was still crying. Seb didn't push her to talk. he just let her cry while he ran his fingers through her hair.

"He came back." She croaks. "He got you and Max." Her visions sometimes found their way into her dreams. It made it hard to decipher what was real and what wasn't.

"It's okay, we're here now. And with the way Max is glued to you, I doubt he's ever going away."

They both chuckle a bit. Eventually, with the calming presence of Seb, sleep comes clawing back to her once more.

~

Max was elated. He was finally eighteen. He was now a full fledged adult and could do adult things with the team.

And yet, despite that, he chose to spend his birthday with her. The two sprawled out on the floor on his cramped hotel room, eating his favorite foods and watching his favorite movies.

He'd never felt more at peace than in this moment. The warm smiles shared between them, making him wonder how he'd gotten so lucky.

~

It had been a year. She was now sixteen. Her birthday is a mere reminder that she is a murder. She killed her mother.

She didn't tell anyone. Nobody needed to know because they would want to celebrate. This was not something to he celebrated, but loathed.

But of course, her plans were foiled. She forgot Seb and Hanna had all her information. Of course they would know.

Her and Seb were away for another weekend, but Hanna flew down to surprise her. They made her breakfast that morning and gave her a present. It was odd, and she kept looking at them skeptically. She'd never received a present of her own.

She opens the pretty paper gently. She'd feel bad if she ripped such a delicate thing. The inside reveals a pair of keys.

"We thought since you can get you license now that you would need a car." Squeals Hanna.

She cries. Her hand flying to cover her mouth. She doesn't understand. Isn't this the anniversary of her killing someone? Why were they being so nice to her?

The paddock wasn't any better. Of course, Seb would have told everyone. People were giving her things left and right.

It was to overwhelming.

She snuck out of the Ferrari paddock to find Max. His presence was needed right now. Maybe he'd understand.

She spotted Max outside his garage. Her body moved faster than her mind. When she gets close enough, Max immediately pulls her into him. He grabs her hand and drags her off to his room in the motor home.

"I got you something." He smiles cheekily. Handing over a small cardboard box to her.

She opened it to reveal a slick black screen. A phone? Why had he gotten her a phone? The overwhelming feeling takes hold, and she is once again sobbing at the gesture

Max is frantically trying to get a read on her. "Do you now like it? Did I do something wrong?"

She shakes her head no frantically. Trying to find her words again. "I just don't understand why everyone is being so nice to me."

Max is taken aback. He knew she was American and as far as he's aware, Americans give eachothers presents.

He thinks he might be left to wonder. His mind escapes to thoughts that make no sense. Only to be pulled back by her continued explanation.

"I killed my mom today sixteen years ago. They should be looking away in disgust, not giving me gifts."

Max is constantly learning new things about this girl. He understands the waiver in her voice. The sadness when she looks at Hanna with her baby.

Max is hugging her again. He dosen't normally like physical contact, but for them, it was a way of communicating without words.

He sets his chin on top of her head and runs his fingers along her spine. "That was not your fault. Whoever told you that is a liar and an asshole."

"It feels like most of the things I was told growing up were lies." Sobs of anger and frustration leak out of her eyes.

"Now we get to find the truths, and I'll be here to help you."

~

Time flies by. Max is nineteen, and she's seventeen.

Seb had gotten her a job test driving for Ferrari and Max had been moved into redbull.

He hadn't been expecting it. He made her pinch him a few times in case he was dreaming. He cried in relief when he knew he wasn't.

Sebastian had grown even fonder of Max. He had a soft spot for the redbull team even if he wasn't driving for them.

Y/N was now diving her time between Max and Seb. And if she wasn't with them, she was probably of trying new idiotic ideas.

The voice in the front of her head said it was for experimental reasons, she she was learning something and making herself stronger as her father made her do. The voice at the back of her head knew the real reason. She liked it. She was in control of it. She deserved it.

Regardless of her reasonings, the sting of the sharp metal she was working with felt annoyingly good as it sliced into her skin.

She felt unlucky that Max had walked in on it again. She was hoping to be cleaned up before he saw her. Someone must have given out her location.

Max sighs and seats himself next to her, inspecting her crimson covered arm.

She cast her gaze downward. Shame creeping over her cheeks.

Max just pulls some bandages out of his pockets and begins trying to slow the bleeding. "Don't be scared. I can feel your body shaking."

Though it wasn't fear she was shaking with, it was anticipation. A dull throb and flash of the possible future showed her that Max was going to hit his hand on the metal and slice his knuckles open.

Just before he can, her hand falls above his, her knuckles taking the damage instead. Max it startled and stunned.

"I always forget how good your reflexes are." He smiles. The warmth of his features causes her to relax. "Next time you decided to work on something I want to be here to watch."

His protectivness over her has seemingly grown over the past couple of years.

~

Her powers have been coming in handy these days. Seb has been helping her in whatever ways he can. Always making sure she isn't trying to suppress the energy flowing in her veins into a box.

He'd noticed that some things are easier then others. She dosen't heal very often because of the excruciating amount of energy and pain she has to put in.

Small cuts had been getting easier but anything past that was to much.

She knew she was never going to be strong enough to fulfill her desired purpose. But she didn't need to anymore her goals have shifted.

Getting to test drive and try new things for Ferrari felt like a dream. She was able to take her mind out of those innately dark places and clear her head for a moment.

She shocked a lot of people. They weren't expecting her to be any good. Now they were eating their words.

She glides easily around the corners. Her ability to predict helping her immensely. She could see what the car was going to do before it even happened. How was a child who had rarely driven a kart before, driving a formula 1 car like a professional?

Max looked on with pure delight cheering for her as she continued to set faster lap times.

Seb and Max were there waiting for her when she got out of the car. Enveloping both in a hug.

~

Max hadn't yet been able to determine his feelings for the girl. He'd had partners, but none of them ended well. Mostly because none of them were her.

Curse there stupid age gap. They had met when he had barely turned seventeen, but the public image he had to keep was what was stopping him.

Other drivers on the grid had started to catch on. Seb noticed the longing glances first and the way she was always smiling at her phone second. Lewis noticed how he was always talking to her, even if both of them were busy. Daniel said they are a package deal. You can't have one without the other.

The age issues was one side of the problem, though. The other was that she was absolutely clueless.

Seb had explained to Max that she hadn't been around people much. She had barely any experience with friendships, let alone a romantic relationship. So Max didn't push. He'd let things go on their own time.

~

Seb had dreaded this dat for since he found out how little knowledge of the world she has. He knew it was going to be awkward and he wishes Hanna were here to save him.

The workers of the paddock and the drivers specifically are known for their lack of filter. She didn't understand half of what was being said but didn't want to seem stupid, so she just laughed with everyone else.

Having the birds and bees talk with a seventeen year old was not on his bucket list.

To his credit, he did try. Then he ended up calling Hanna.

The poor kid went through the four stages of grief.

The interesting part was when Hanna was explaining romantic interests. He took notice of the way the girls eyes lit up when Hanna was describing how it feels to be in love with somone.

Her eyes started to panic for a moment. Like she needed to ground herself because she was going to lose it.

Seb reached out for her and placed his hand over hers. "Are you alright? I know this is a lot and probably uncomfortable. We can stop now if you need."

She shook her head. "No- it's just that - what if I feel those things now?"

"It's normal and completely okay." Seb offers her a gentle smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Well, Hanna said that it makes your stomach feel funny and you smile more. I do those things with Max." She explains.

Seb nods his head in understanding. He already knew, but he wanted it to seem like he didn't. "I can't tell you what you're feeling. But, if you like those feelings you get with Max, I would say that you let them guide you."

It was the first time someone told her to follow her feelings and not her head.

~

Next ->

Tags: @styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii

(Comment if you want to be added)

[anonymous-dentist]

Or: a pirate au

-

Before having the nerve to turn Roier in to the Navy, Spreen had this to say:

“I have no compassion for anybody.”

And then he had leaned forward and driven both the metaphorical and literal-actual-goddamn sword in between Roier’s ribs, and he had whispered right into Roier’s ringing ear:

“You’re lucky I’m not drowning you.”

And then he had kicked Roier off of his ship and onto the Navy’s, and he had sailed away, free to live and fight another day while leaving his best friend and first mate behind.

But, well. Joke’s on him! It’s been a year since that fateful day, but Roier is alive, and he’s free, and he’s got a gun and a sword and a ship of his own, and he’s gonna make Spreen pay.

But first? Breakfast, and fast. The Navy is after him, and he doesn’t want to get captured this early in the morning. (Foolish would never let it go!)

The Barcoier docks just after sunrise, and Roier is off the ship and speeding down the pier before Jaiden even has the anchor weighed.

The island is small, so small that it’s just a town and some farms and a couple of trees and a single lake smack in the center of it all. It’s so small it doesn’t even have a name, but that just makes it all the better for hiding from the Navy on; if it’s too small to be on a map, it’s too small for those idiots with the Navy to pick up on.

Maybe Roier is a bad pirate captain for leaving his crew to tie up the ship and run errands while he gets everyone breakfast and tries not to get arrested. But also:

(“We need a chef,” Jaiden complains. “No offense, dude, but your cooking sucks.”

Roier sniffs, hurt, but he doesn’t argue. He’s a better chef on land than he is on the water.

“I’ll get us a chef,” he promises. “But only if you-” He pokes Jaiden between the eyes with a corner of his hardtack biscuit. “-get us better food! Nobody can cook with this!”

He smacks his biscuit hard enough against the table to crack it [the table.] Jaiden rolls her eyes, but she shrugs.)

Where there’s a good breakfast, there’s a good chef. And, on an island as tiny as this one is, said chef might just be desperate enough for a change of pace that they’d agree to become a pirate. (It’s how Spreen got Roier, after all.)

How hard can it be?

…Really hard, actually, especially now that the Federation and its Navy are starting to crack down extra hard on pirates. They’ve moved on from life imprisonment to public executions, and all because most of the pirates left on the seas have started to unionize under the guidance of the feared Captain Bad Halo.

But, who knows? Maybe today will be the day!

Maybe…

-

The town’s only restaurant is closed for renovations, but the town’s bakery is open, thank God.

The bakery, much like the town it’s based in, doesn’t have a name. It does, however, have a wooden sign hanging above the door with a donut painted on it. The donut’s center, rather than being a hole, is a bright yellow-irised eyeball. Freaky.

The door jingles like rusted keys as Roier enters. Someone swears from the back room; otherwise, the bakery is entirely empty.

“Coming!” Roier hears.

“No worries!” he responds. “Take your time!”

He doesn’t exactly have time for the baker to take, but he isn’t exactly going to get himself a chef by being rude, is he?

So Roier waits, and he takes the opportunity to look at the display cases by the front counter. Donuts, of course, some muffins. An… abnormal amount of meat pies. Sure? Why not! Every place has its specialties.

A few moments pass, during which Roier starts mentally counting how many of each item he’s gonna need, and then footsteps from the back and an apologetic, “Sorry, I’m just-”

The baker cuts himself off as Roier stands up and looks him over. He’s… handsome, okay. Okay. More importantly, he already looks more piratey than half of Roier’s crew: pierced ear, scar across the bridge of his nose, solid build. Hot.

“You’re a pirate,” the baker says, much calmer than most regular people would be. Good, he’s brave, pirates need to be brave.

Roier leans forward against the counter, propping himself up on his elbows. He smiles, head tilted juuuust so.

“Who, me?” he asks. He shakes his head. “Naaaah. I’m just a regular guy looking for breakfast, you know?”

The baker’s eyes trail over Roier’s head and shoulders like he’s memorizing him. Creepy, kinda. Hot, kinda.

Roier continues, “But I’ve never been here before, so… any recommendations?”

He winks. The baker’s eyes widen slightly, and then he smiles himself and leans himself against the counter, his arms just inches away from Roier’s.

“Well,” he says, “the donuts will last longer on a long trip, if that’s what you’re asking. Everything else has fresh ingredients in it.”

“Who says I’m going on a long trip?”

The baker rolls his eyes and pushes himself off the counter to start unloading donuts into a bag. “Please, nobody actually wants to stay in this shithole. I’m used to tourists.”

He has nice arms. Maybe he even knows how to use a sword already.

“Sooo… you want to leave, too?” Roier asks.

The baker shrugs. “Maybe someday.”

That isn’t a no…

So it’s basically a yes!

Roier beams. “What if today was your someday?”

The baker gives him a flat look. “I’m not a pirate.”

“Maybe I’m not, either. But I do need someone on my ship who knows how to cook, and you wanna get out of here.”

The last donut is dumped into the bag, and the baker ties the bag shut and plops it onto the counter. He leans over it with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m not a chef, either,” he says. “Shouldn’t you be hiring someone that can actually cook, Captain Roier?”

At Roier’s gasp, the baker nods his head towards the wall behind Roier. On it is a bulletin board with wanted posters for nearly every pirate on the seas, Roier included.

Whoops.

Whatever! The baker hasn’t called the authorities yet, so he’s fine.

Roier opens his mouth, ready to try his pitch again, but he’s rudely interrupted by a cannon ball sailing through the bakery’s front window and slamming into a cabinet full of flour.

The room explodes into white, sending both Roier and the baker reeling.

“Fuck!” Roier coughs. He fans the air in front of his face, blinking rapidly to get the flour off of his eyes.

The bakery’s door is slammed open by a heavy boot. Its owner, a Navy officer, follows it in with his sword drawn and pointed at… the baker.

“Hands in the air,” the officer sneers.

Roier looks at the officer. He looks at the baker.

The baker looks at him. The baker looks at the officer.

He raises his hands slowly, holding the donut bag with it for whatever reason.

He looks at Roier again, a small smile on his handsome, yet flour-dusted, face.

“Thank you for having me aboard, captain,” he says.

The officer just then seems to notice Roier, but the poor bastard is just a bit too late because, just as he’s turning around to slash at the very obvious pirate captain in the room, Cellbit chucks the donuts at the idiot’s head. The bag makes contact, and then it makes the officer stumble right into the pointy end of Roier’s sword.

What a shame.

Roier pulls his sword out of the guy’s stomach with a grimace, wiping the blood on the bakery’s shredded window curtains.

He turns to smile at the baker, then.

“Glad to have you aboard…”

“Cellbit,” the baker supplies.

Now, where has Roier heard that name before…?

Whatever! There’s time for that later.

For now, Roier has a ship to get to, and he has a chef to deliver to it.

[igotanidea]

Pool party : Dick grayson x reader

Request: by @pinkestfloyd - dick x female reader having a pool party at the wayne manor

***

It took weeks to convince Y/N to have a proper celebration of her birthday.

If it was up to her she would rather have some quiet event, like a nice dinner with her boyfriend, a movie and some cuddles and maybe something more.

But no……!

Dick Grayson, being the eldest son of the billionaire and head over heels in love with her just had to go overboard.

A pool party? She raised an eyebrow when he broke the news to her a couple weeks earlier “do you even know me Dick? Why the hell would I want a pool party?”

“Cause you never had any in your life obviously!” he grinned

“Do you see me mourning that terrible loss?”

“come on, baby…..” he cooed, grabbing her by the waist and pulling to him “it’s gonna be fun.. I promise! Scout’s word!”

“You were never in the scouts.”

“How about Robin’s word?” he keeps on convincing her, his tone playful

“Now that’s something I would never trust….” She snickers

“You’re breaking my heart here Y/N….” one of his hands leave her body as he puts it on his heart, faking going into a cardiac arrest. “Shall I wear my Nightwing costume to convince you?” he raised an eyebrow at her.

“I never knew Nightwing is a party goer…..”

“duh! Obviously! He’s the most popular hero in the city! Of course he’s a party animal!”

“I have one too many people who would argue with that.”

“Come on.....” he whines “Y/N….. pleaaaaaseeeeee?”

“It’s not working on me, you know?”

“I still got some time to the most important day of the year which is your b-day. I’ll keep working on it. Now can you beloved boyfriend have a kiss?”

***

Satisfying his words and being a stubborn pain in the ass for the next days Dick was quite literally popping out of nowhere to talk her into his crazy and irrational idea.

She broke when one day he grabbed her from behind when she was leaving shower, dragging her into the room, almost giving her a heart attack in the process. She was tired of those childish monkey tricks and fully aware he was not going give up until she said yes to that completely ridiculous idea of unnecessary pool party at the manor (that being the quote).

Thinking about her future with Dick she was kind of getting worried of what lengths he might go to, if it ever came to asking her to marry him…….

 But…

She said yes to the party and the look on Dick’s face at that moment almost made her blood freeze.

His face lit up, his eyes sparkled and he looked like a kid in a candy store. Clearly, the ideas and plans to make it the best party in her entire life clouded his logical thinking, cause when she tried to give him a single suggestion about it, he hushed her and rushed off the room, muttering some omniscient words about attractions, catering and  flamingos(!).

Shit……

***

And that’s how she found herself here.

Here being the guest room in the manor, in front of the mirror, hesitant to do as much as peek out, let alone enjoy her own birthday party.

Everything seemed perfect. Unlike any other day in Gotham the sun was shining, no one fought anyone and even Jason and Bruce decided to let go of their unresolved conflict and bitter attitude (which made her wonder what was thing Dick threatened them with and explained the screaming she heard one day – something about no fucking fighting!).

Yes. Everything seemed perfect.

Everything except her – the woman of the hour.

And the more she stared at herself in the mirror, the more stressed she got. For no reason in particular.

“Y/n?” Dick peeked inside the room, grinning “What’s taking you so long? Everyone’s waiting.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming….” She muttered looking like a cloud storm

“Oh, no….” Dick grabbed her wrist spinning her around and putting a finger under her chin forcing her gaze up “not with that attitude. Come on…. Cheer up…. You act so much like Jason….. I promised you fun and I intend to keep that promise. Trust me?”

“You’re asking awfully a lot, Dick.” She rolls her eyes. “should know better but yeah, I do trust you.” Her hand instinctively found a way to his cheek, caressing it gently “I’m sorry I;ve been a pain about it…..”

“I forgive you, now come on, let’s party!”

“Yay…..”

The second he led her outside, her moody attitude was gone in a second, replaced by the feeling of utter shock.

Positive shock.

Contrary to her worries, Dick did not invite the whole Justice League members, Titans and whoever else. Instead, the only guests were the closest member of the Batfamily, Alfred and Bruce obviously included. And seeing them just like that – chilling and carefree from the crime fighting , even if only for a while, made her happy that she agreed to all that. For her and for their sake’s.

Stephanie, Barbara and Cass were sunbathing by the pool, laughing and talking, Damian was floating on the water on the pool  inflatable in the shape of avocado and Tim was cussing quietly at the Bluetooth loudspeaker that refused to work properly. Even Jason seemed almost happy taking care of the food and the grill, wearing his famous kiss the cook apron. Bruce and Alfred were almost in a holiday mood, casually sipping drinks and keeping an eye on everyone.

Even Titus and Alfred the cat seemed to join the party.

“Is …. Is that a slide there?” Y/N asked, completely shocked at all the decorations, balloons and attractions. And lack of flamingos, luckily.

“Of course it is! Did you really think I would do anything you don’t like?” Dick grinned “Come on, sunshine, I know my own girlfriend and it’s your day after all! HEY PEOPLE!” he yelled getting the attention of the entire family “THE BIRTHDAY GIRL IS HERE!”

“Oh, for fuck’s….” Tim mutters, kicking the stereo in a poor attempt to finally make it work. And to everyone’s surprise it actually did and the party music played from the speaker.

“Happy birthday Y/N!” Stephanie in her purple swimming suit came running and hugging her friend and everyone followed. It took way too much time for Dick’s liking and getting impatient he just swept his girlfriend out of her feet, picked her up bridal style and screaming cannonball! Jumped into the pool with Y/N in his arms causing a little tsunami, that almost flooded Jason grill.

“Dick! I’m all wet!” Y/N yelled breaking into the surface, brushing her hair out of face.

“It’s a pool party! What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know, music, drinks and sprawling on the lawn chair?”

“Not on my watch, baby. I’ll make sure to give you more entertainment than that.” He smirked

And just like that, with her favourite music playing and her favourite people around she finally got herself into a party mood, realising that it was in fact her day.

***

A few hours later, all his siblings, Bruce and Alfred left, leaving Y/N and Dick to have some alone time. It was quite hard with everyone running around, laughing, bantering and sliding on the slide. A lot was happening and only now they got a chance to enjoy each other in quiet.

Y/N was laying on the inflatable, facing the sky and Dick was sitting on the edge of the pool watching her.

“Thanks for this dick…” she mutters sitting so she could face him. I really did have fun.”

“Told ya!” he grinned, slipping into the water and getting closer to her. “I know better what you may need, baby. Gotta believe me more.”

“Yeah….not gonna happen you big kid…”

“Big kid huh?” she scoffed “If you say so…” without hesitation he grabbed some water into his hands and splashed it all over her.

“Hey!”  she laughed and shook “not fair, Grayson! This is a literal attack on me!” she kicked her feet trying to get her revenge without leaving her place. “Take that!”

“You’re just so cute when you’re trying to threaten me, Y/N.”

“don’t come any closer to me, you shark!” she laughed seeing him swim closer to her and leaning on her mattress, eyeing her with loving gaze.

“I’m not a shark…. I’m trying to do some Titanic impression here.” He joked referring to the position her was in. His bottom half in the water, his upper half above it, with Y/N floating on the water.”

“not a funny reference Dick. You know how Leo DiCaprio ended there right?”

“Well, I am hoping for a different outcome.”

“And what may that…..?’

She didn’t get to finish the sentence when Dick jumped out of the water pecking her lips, grabbing her waist and dragged her underwater, pulling close without breaking the contact even for a moment. The speed and agility of this gesture immediately washed away all of her anger and she kissed him back, her own hands finding a way to his shoulder and neck, not wanting the kiss to end. This time, it turned out it was dick who had to have common sense when after a few seconds he pulled her up.

“That was what I was hoping for.” He grinned leaning his forehead on his.

“You were the one to stop…..” she pointed out

“not even close to stopping….Just couldn’t risk you suffocating there….”

“How ironic would it be if I suffocate to death on my birthday…”

“And that reminds me…. I didn’t give you your present….” He murmured, grabbing her legs and wrapping them around his waist under water “thank god, my family finally left us alone…..” and with those words he leaned forward capturing her lips in his, smiling and showing her how happy those birthday were about to become.   

[asmaticc]

Worthy

hobie x gn!reader

summary - Hobie and you are roommates, great friends, best friends even. You’ve always got each other’s backs. But one day, you start noticing how Hobie isn’t that energetic any more, how he starts to talk less, barely going out of his room.

**Hobie’s canon event

words - 2.0k

You met Hobie a few years back at the pub where he used to play with his band and you quickly became friends. Now, you two were the ‘partners in crime’ kind of thing, but still friends. One day, talking about finding a place for yourself, Hobie pointed out that he was also looking for one, but being London, it wasn’t that easy to find something that wasn’t extremely expensive, so you agreed to start looking for one together and be roommates.

It was a nice place, decorated with each other’s personality, you made it your home. And you two had your dates and one-night-stands sometimes there too. It’s not like it bothered any of you, there was nothing going on between you and Hobie, just two friends in their twenties living their life.

Of course you shared something special that only the two of you could understand, but that was because of so many years of knowing each other. You were in all his shows since day 1, went to every protest together, even got arrested together! That’s something people don’t have the pleasure to share with their loved ones, and that’s what made you inseparable (also the fact that you discovered he was spiderman). Without needing words, you knew how each other felt or were thinking, it was like a secret code you could only understand, and everybody was amused how you two were not together because you were clearly made for each other. 

And, obviously, you were too dumb to realize. Too focused on ‘live the moment’, no commitments, no serious relationships, just flowing while enjoying your liberty. Even though you also wanted to know what it is like to wake up in the arms of someone that bathed you in kisses, that liked you, that loved you, and that, for Hobie, wasn’t available knowing what his job was about. 

The days after you had a date or some fun with somebody were always quiet in the house. Hobie seemed to have something in mind that was eating him out, sad even. The same happened to you, but you didn’t talk about it, neither of you. 

Days passed by and you were closer with each other because of this lack of ‘love’, behaving like a couple, you just didn’t realize you already got each other.

And it all started to crumble as Hobie started to be more introverted. He didn’t talk that much anymore, he barely ate unless you were there with him, not even touching his guitar or putting on his suit. Everyday, the bags on his eyes grew bigger, you didn’t see him that much anymore, all day locked in his room. And you tried to talk to him, but silence was the only answer you received through the door, affecting you too. You needed your best friend, you needed your talks, you felt lonely, even though you were not alone, you needed back your stupid dances with Hobie in the kitchen, the nights of watching horror movies and laughing at how dumb the characters are, or the ones when he showed you a new song he was composing, the afternoons in the market doing groceries together, the mornings when you’ve been up all night and went to a cafe when the city was still quiet. You lost him gradually. It started a few months back, and you didn’t question it because Hobie always got better, everybody had their problems, right? But now you were trapped too.

It was 4 a.m, you’ve been rolling in your bed for an hour and a half by now. Everyday it gets more difficult to sleep, thoughts running through your mind a hundred miles per minute, wondering if this is it, if this is your life now and what’s gonna happen. Most of the time, Hobie was the protagonist of these thoughts, blaming you for not helping him sooner, for not realizing how bad he was getting. You missed how his arms felt around you when you fell asleep together, whether it was in your room, his, or the couch; it always made you relax, his touch, his voice, his eyes looking at you… 

You got out of bed and thought of walking through the house to get bored enough to be able to get some sleep. Standing right in front of Hobie’s room, memories invading your mind, and you noticed his door wasn’t fully closed, so you peeked in, finding the bed messed up, with his owner nowhere to be found, so you decided to go to the living room, hoping to find him there.

He was lying on the couch, hands covering his face and the only sound of his breathing. You watched him for what felt like hours, he seemed like he hadn’t slept for weeks; his face, illuminated by the moonlight and the city’s lights, looked exhausted. His eyes were teary, his lips sealed for a sob to not escape his mouth. You’d rather be stabbed to death than see him like this, what happened to him? to your Hobie…?

You moved slowly to his side, he looked at you for the first time in weeks, and you took his hand. He followed you instinctively, locking his eyes with yours, no idea where you were going. You guided him to your bed, where you two lay, still with piercing eyes trying to make him know that you were there for him, you felt his arms rounding your body and pulling you closer, hiding his face on your neck. Your hand caressed his chest, noticing how his heart slowly settled and his breathing relaxed. He was finally asleep, and you fell soon too.

You woke up first and noticed that Hobie was still sleeping. You moved a little to caress the arm that hugged you, making circles with your fingertips and watching his body tightening yours as he noticed your touch. You didn’t know why you did that last night, but it felt like the right thing. Not knowing how much time passed, Hobie started to move into your neck. A few sunlights escaping through the blinds illumined his face, which was now right in front of yours on the pillow. You looked at his face like you’ve never done before, analyzing every faction you thought you didn’t remember, running your fingers through his cheeks, his nose, his forehead and his jaw.

“Hey” is the only thing that you could say. A smile decorated your lips as you saw him looking at you.

“Hey” he said back. His hand was caressing your back, fearing that you would leave.

“I missed you” and his face dropped a little, now avoiding your eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t… talk to you about what was going on… I thought… I thought that you didn’t want to”

“I… didn’t” he let out a heavy sigh “cause it was always the same”

“What is it, Hobie? You can tell me anything, you know that” you pulled your face closer to his, hand on his cheek running your thumb through it.

“It’s just… I was tired of doing the same thing over and over again… Nothing changed, ever. The same songs to play, the same days to do a show, the system always the same, catching the same bad guys…” you listened to him carefully “Everything except you felt… ordinary, a routine in which I was trapped, like I’ve been doing nothing… nothing changed” he paused “And I didn’t know what to do… so I quit”

“But what changed between… you and me?” you asked worried

“Nothing, and it was fine at first, but… I still felt like I didn’t belong… here”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…” he sighed and sat down on the bed, you imitated his movements. “Like I am not worthy of all… this” he pointed to himself “I just don’t know who I am anymore”

“Hobie…” you took his hands in yours, caressing them “do you want me to lie to you and tell you that it’ll pass or do you want me to tell you the truth?” you sought his gaze, making eye contact with him. He rolled his eyes like it was an obvious question “The truth, right?” he nodded slightly “Truth is… that this is how life works. It may be hard for you in moments like this, but this is what life is about, questioning if you are really doing something good” he looked away but you took him by the face and looked at his eyes.

“But am I worthy? Why did it have to be me and not… anyone else?” a tear went down his left cheek “Why me?”

“I think… fate put that spider in your way for something… maybe because it’s you. Even if it was just a mere coincidence or a mistake, you have done the impossible to make a name for yourself and fight for the people, because you care. Tell me something…” you cleaned his tear with your thumb “do you think you are Hobie Brown because you are Spiderman, or are you Spiderman because you are Hobie Brown? I already know the answer... but do you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he frowned.

“It means that you gotta find out who you really are… You are not your job, neither the clothes you wear or anything else. You are you, and you chose those things to represent you, but without them… are you still the same person? Do you still believe that the system must be changed?” you looked at him closely, watching him nod. “Then you know that you are the only one who can make this happen… the powers that spider gave you were only a nudge to do it”

“But what about…” he stroked your hands slightly.

“What, baby? Tell me”

“What about the people I love? What if something happens to them because of me?” his eyes were crystalized because of the tears he was holding “How am I supposed to live if you die because I couldn’t protect you…?” it sounded like a whisper, more like a question for himself than you.

“I don’t know… I really don’t know, but I guess you’ll get on with it” you hold his face in your hands “There’ll be people looking after you, i’m sure about that” you rested your forehead on Hobie’s “and I’ll be there always”

You stayed like that for a while, letting it sit in. There was no need of saying anything, he already knew the answers to his questions. But suddenly, he noticed something pressing his cheek… it was your lips. 

You slowly kissed his eyelids, his other cheek, his forehead and his nose, now making eye contact again, Hobie leaned to your lips and gave you a chaste kiss. You two were in shock, not knowing how to respond and feeling your faces get hot, but you leaned in softly, his hand reaching your neck to get you closer and joining your lips together again, this time until you couldn’t breathe. 

It was a careful kiss, your lips moved slowly into each other’s, not wanting to break it any time soon, it was like taking a weight off your shoulders you’ve been carrying for years, finally freed from it… it was the sign that Hobie needed to keep on.

“I love you” he said quietly while caressing your lower lip with his thumb.

“I know” you responded, pecking his finger and smiling at him.

Other works !!

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

So!

how many more content creators are going to be accused of being called a pedophile with no hard evidence, a police warrant, anything physical and it's by an anonymous tweet from some stranger online who would rather tell social media than I don't know... HAVE THEM GET ARRESTED BY THE POLICE?!

How many more creators, huh?! How many?! How many more YouTubers, twitch streamers, singers, animators, artists?! How many of you are gonna jump on them???? And it's so easy if it's a guy, right? So easy! And no matter how they react, whether it's calm and calculated, shutting down their channel as a whole, or answering immediately yet obviously angry about it- they are always ALWAYS GUILTY. what happened to innocent until proven guilty? And eo is this person? That they are willing to fan the flames and accuse someone of something so terrible online??? Who are u?????

Why do this now? Why do it how at the HEIGHT of Forever's popularity? Why not do it before so he was never on the qsmp or even long before that? Or in the middle at all???? Why now? That is my question? If this is all true, why now? And why use social media? Why not go to the police if he really did a crime? You are accusing someone of a very terrible thing. Why not do it properly instead of searching for Internet clout? What're we supposed to do? The only thing we can, huh? Cancel. Because that's what u want. Is to cancel him. When he was obviously so loved by the masses yesterday. When he had all those cruise pic photos showing how good his life was. Yeah, I don't think u want him arrested or lynched. No, u want to cancel him. Making me wonder if there was ever a real çrime.

Which I wonder quite often with these cases.

And GUYS. HEADS UP! You know whose next? Hm? It'll probably be Wilbur, probably being said that he approached some underage girl on tour or whatever. Or maybe it'll be quackity or hell, even Philza! Oh, Etoiles got cancelled not so long ago, let's cancel him again! Oh what about Bagerha or Cellibit? Let's throw Charlie into the mix. Ironmouse will be hard to cancel cause she's been locked inside of her room all her life and has a very dedicated fanbase, but I'm sure you bastards will find something.

So mhm, everyone is nexted because antis have proven it to be so easy to get rid of someone they don't like. Gone the next day. All of them are suspectable to it. Cause u know why? Cause they are stupid humans who have said stupid shit! And you will just take anything they said and did and run with it!!! Every time! So it's only a matter of time until someone new gets targeted. And depending on how tough skinned they are, they will disappear in a matter of seconds.

Let's just throw all of qsmp away while we're at it! No more eggs, no more community, blah blah blah! Something problematic will happen and you all will jump on it and say 'oh, I never liked them anyway'. Which is such a lie! Such bullshit, u are all bullshitters.

And I know for a fact that y'all aren't saints. We have all said disgusting jokes. Race, lgbt, whatever! We've all done it- don't lie! Here, I'll go first. I joked about a school shooting the other day with my friends. There, cancel me. I gave you the ammunition, now take your fucking shot.

This happens every god damn time someone u enjoy gets popular too fast. They get called a pedo, or a racist, or a transphobe or anything easy to spark the mob. I have seen it time and time again with creators running away because theyve been chased off their respective platforms. I saw an artists make the most beautiful art ever, get accused of being a pedo by one person, everyone joined in for some reason and chased her away. I will never not be bitter about that. I HATE ALL OF YOU WHO DID SUCH A THING AND IF I EVER GOT MY HANDS ON YOU I SWEAR TO GOD. But I am sick of people 'finding' or bringing shit to light or whatever and then just post it online! Like fuck! If he really did a crime! Arrest him! But he didn't, did he? Cause that's the fucking game we are playing rn.

Such hypocrites, it's fascinating. Literally yesterday you were kissing this mans feet and exhaling him, but one anon person saw that and chose violence. And you just.... changed your minds???? Like that? Like a switch of a button? Crazy, actually crazy, and childish.

How come everyone flips and flops so easily on the internet??? How is it so easy for you????? And how can u other supposed fans just accept it so easily??? I will never understand and I will bite and claw at all of you. You all loved him 24 hours ago and now with the bare minimum of evidence you flip? You all would be terrible on jury duty. I hope none of you ever get on jury duty.

Anyway, I'll probably get a ton of backlash from this post and delete it later, waking up in the morning with tons of hate. But I don't care. Prove him guilty. Get the hard evidence that he is a pedo and I will believe it when I see it. Have him be in damn cuffs. Get the mugshot. If that is at all true! But I'm not putting my life and art on pause for conveniently timed discourse.

Maybe I'll delete this post tomorrow. But now I'm fuming at all of you.

And yeah, as for me, I had a shit disgusting last year, qsmp and especially forever was one of the few things that got me out of it and calmed me down. And you guys are going to be talking about how wrong and problematic the things he said that was (what was it?) 8 years ago!!! Then guess what, I love a very problematically spoken parent that would make all of you quake and vomit the moment she opened her mouth. But also, that woman saved me from being homeless. For giving me a place to stay after being DEPORTED. So, if u need a little kindergarten lesson today, internet, is that people will say all sorts of horrible cancelable shit, but it's what they actually do, that really matters.

Goodnight.

[adaptacy]

I know this might seem like a weird hcs to make   but if Johnny went to prison do you think he would want his s/o to stay with him or leave him to live a normal life ?

Hi anon! I really hope this doesn't break your heart. Sorry if it does darlin <3

If Johnny is getting arrested, if he's going away, he is going away for life. Like, ten- maybe twenty, hell, thirty times over. We don't even know how many people he's killed. And I'm no law student, but I'm pretty sure cannibalism and stalking and hunting them definitely makes those life sentences worse.

Point is, there is no way he's getting out. Not legally, anyways.

And Johnny more than understands that. He is NOT going to let you sit around dreaming about him when he knows he's gonna be rotting behind bars for the rest of his life, and then some.

The first thing he tells you when he gets arrested is not to wait for him. You'd be waiting an eternity. He tells you that he loves you, and that he's sorry, but maybe it's for the best. So yeah, no, he wants you to leave him. I mean- he doesn't want that but I think if he really does love you he wants you to be happy. It's not like he can do anything about it from behind bars.

That being said....

If he somehow, miraculously gets (breaks) out, he's hunting you down. Doesn't matter if it's been 6 months, two years, or fifteen years. He will find you. I mean, it's not like there's much to do in prison other than think about his life before. And that means you.

Sure, his tracking skills are a little rusty at this point, but information becomes easier to access the more that time goes on thanks to technological advances. And he will find you, eventually.

When he does, you immediately recognize him- prison has gyms, after all, and he'd need his muscles in jail anyways, so he's still as buff, if not more. He looks more rugged, clearly he's had a good number of prison fights. Not surprising, seeing as how it is Johnny.

At first, he's gentle. Asks how you're doing. Asks- err, demands, that you don't report him to the cops. He is definitely a vigilante, and a very much wanted man. Asks if you missed him.

And then he's a little more forthright. "Missed you. Thought 'bout you. A lot." It gives you butterflies, but you're not sure if you want to suffer through the heartbreak of him potentially being stolen away by the cops again.

Also, if you have a family or another partner, that's going to make things much more troublesome. If you accept him, you'd have to accept moving several states away from Texas and completely change your identities. And if you are with someone else...

Johnny isn't upset at you. He expected it. He never would've guessed he got free, so of course you wouldn't have either. But he doesn't really know what to do with his life if he can't have you. He hated his family- grew to hate the Sawyers as he aged in those concrete walls, realizing just how responsible they were for his problems. yeah, he's not great at taking responsibility. He had a lot of time to brew on that anger.

So beyond hating his family, you were what kept him going. Even if he'd told you to find happiness elsewhere, you were his happiness. So hearing that you are already with someone else definitely hurts.

He accepts it.

...

...

...

At first. And then he thinks about it some more, and he finds the idea a little ridiculous. You'd pleaded to stay with him, promised your devotion even when he'd told you not to. But now you were suddenly going against your word? Yeah, right.

He'd visit you often. Specifically when he knew you were alone. because he knew he could win you over and convince you with enough time. Eventually, he's taking you out to 'catch up', and then those turn into weirdly romantic dinners, and small gifts, and...

Oh, and he's kissing you. And you're kissing him back.

Shit.

This is gonna be tough to explain.

[archangeldyke-all]

i rlly like if y' do sev as a gf like fluff smut idk how she be

yess here's some gf sev headcanons bb:

men and minors dni

clingy, but pretends she isn't. always touching you, cuddling you, playing with your hair. doesn't matter what you're doing.

if you bring it up to her or tease her about it, she's shocked.

"i'm not clingy" she insists, her chin hooked over your shoulder and arms wrapped around your waist. "you're clingy."

her love language is physical touch. hugs, kisses, smacks on the ass, tugs on your hair, anything she can do to get her hands on you.

but she will always melt if you get her a gift. can be anything-- a candy bar, a pair of fuzzy socks, a pretty leaf or pine cone-- anything. she just can't believe that you thought of her, that you got something for her. the little shy smile you give her when you press the gift into her hands always makes her heart skip a beat.

you have to be careful about when you get her flowers-- because each and every time you do she tries to fuck you on the spot. you made the mistake of picking her up from work once with a bundle of daisies-- the two of you nearly got arrested for public indecency.

in a modern au one of her favorite places to fuck you is in her car. she loves the way the windows get steamy, the way the two of you have to cram together in the backseat, the way the car shakes with your thrusts. she loves to take you to sweet little look outs, stop at a fast food place on the way and smoke and eat and listen to music with you once you get there. it's her favorite kind of date night.

introduces you as "my girl" or "my baby" to other people. every time you meet one of sevika's friends or coworkers, they grin and tell you you're all she talks about. you know it's true because sevika gets flustered and embarrassed each time.

desperate to wife you up. your name in her phone is 'wifey.' she's always talking about how she's gonna marry you, she's got your whole future together planned out. (she had a dream about a month into dating you--the two of you old and wrinkled as shit, sitting together on the front porch of your home, smoking and laughing and holding hands. she knew when she woke up that it wasn't a dream, it was a vision, a glimpse into her future. and since then she's been saving for a ring and a wedding.)

you're the first person she's ever really been romantic with, so despite how experienced and suave she is in the bedroom, the cutest little things will get her stuttering and blushing in real life. it takes her weeks to get used to holding your hand without her heartbeat racing. she's still not over the sweet pecks you give her, sometimes on her cheeks, sometimes her forehead, but her favorite is when you press one to the tip of her nose.

lovesss to match outfits with you. she doesn't think it's corny at all. she thinks it makes perfect sense-- you're together, people should be able to tell just by looking at you. if you're wearing blue, she's wearing blue. if you're in all black, she's in all black. even if you're wearing a color she doesn't have, hot pink lets say, she'll find a tie or hankie or shoelaces that match.

loves it when you paint your nails. insists you do hers too, so you can match.

jealous, but never insecure in your relationship. she knows you're loyal, she just doesn't like that other people don't know that. hates seeing people flirt with you.

you know that tweet thats like 'where whatever u want baby i can fight.'? that's sev.

demands to share clothes with you. even if she can't fit in your clothes, she'll stretch 'em out just to wear something of yours. loves seeing you in hers-- it gives her a love boner.

she gets a lot of love boners, actually. sees you cooking? love boner. sees you sleeping? love boner. sees you reading? love boner.

her phone password is your anniversary

she leaves so many hickeys on your skin that she's gotten into the habit of buying you a new tube of concealer every month. she applies it for you each morning, gently dabbing the cool liquid over the marks she's left on your neck and jaw and cleavage. but if you're not going into work or to see your family-- she hides the makeup from you so you're forced to show the world that you're hers.

[starryeyedjanai]

how long am i gonna be young and lost?

@eddiemonth day 2 prompt: Friendship | Gen | 1.3k

read on ao3

When Eddie moved to Hawkins at age 15, he didn't know how he was supposed to make friends.

Everyone here in this tiny little town already knew each other. All the kids in his grade had grown up together, had known each other since they were little.

Everyone already had set friend groups. He looked around the lunch room on the first day, sitting alone, and saw the way they were all grouped off.

There were the most popular kids in the center of the room, loud and brash in a way that told him that no one had ever told them to quiet down before. They took up too much space at their table even though there were less of them than there were of the other groups.

There were the different jock groups, tangentially popular, who were equally as loud as the kids in the center of the cafeteria.

He made sure to get a good look at both of those groups so he knew who to avoid - there was no way any of those people were going to end up being his friend.

There were different groups of normal looking kids scattered around the cafeteria, chatting and laughing, and Eddie felt a pang in his chest looking at all of them.

He hadn't had many friends at his old school, none that he would be calling up at the end of the day to tell them how much he missed them, but he kind of wished he had at least that. His dad had an unstable job that made them move around a lot, so he never could settle down in one place and really make lasting friendships.

He knows it's pathetic, but he just wanted even one person who would miss him when he moved.

But he was only at his last school for less than three months when his dad got arrested - like actual crime arrested this time, going to prison for a long time kind of arrested - and now he's here, in this new place, watching all of the other kids who've had the lifelong friendships that he envies. It fucking sucks.

He looks around and doesn't see many people dressed like him - not a lot of band tees with bands he recognizes in this crowd of normies - and he resigns himself to another year of people watching, observing and looking in from the outside.

He ends up being right. The school year was almost over when he moved and he doesn't really make friends with any of these people.

His sophomore year isn't really any better. People mostly stay away from him, which is better than being bullied, but he somehow gets a reputation for being a "freak" even though he hasn't talked to anyone much and has mostly kept his head down.

After someone calls him a freak to his face the first week of his junior year, he hisses at him and bares his teeth and watches the guy flinch back like he's actually scared of Eddie. He laughs and thinks that if people are going to call him a freak, he might as well act like one.

There's a little freshman watching that interaction with wide eyes and Eddie just grins at him before turning back to his locker.

The kid walks up to him and says, "That was so cool," right as the bell rings, signaling that they only have a few minutes to get to class.

Eddie snorts. "Sure it was," he says, grabbing his notebooks for the next couple classes.

"I saw you earlier this week and saw the Metallica patch on your bag. I wanted to come up to you then, but you're way too cool to want to hang out with a freshman," the kid says and Eddie turns to look at him.

Eddie can't help the way his stomach flutters at the thought of someone thinking he's cool.

"Didn't you hear? I'm the school freak," he sneers anyway just so this kid knows what he's getting himself into since he apparently thinks Eddie's cool.

"I heard," he says. He stretches out his hand. "I'm Jeff."

He looks at Jeff's outstretched hand for a second before he shakes it. "Eddie. You do know hanging out with me is gonna label you as a freak too, right?"

Jeff grins at him and shrugs. "I don't mind being a freak. Beats whatever they've got going on," he says, nodding over to where some jocks are shoving at each other.

He's right. There's way too much in-fighting amongst the popular kids. Eddie's been nosily trying to keep track of who's fighting over what and he thinks those two guys are both into the same cheerleader. His bet is that punches will be thrown after school and they'll be back to slapping each other on the back tomorrow.

"So you're into Metallica?" Eddie asks and Jeff nods eagerly. "You wanna skip next period? We can listen in my van maybe. I've got some other stuff you might like, too."

Jeff hesitates for a moment before grimacing and saying, "My mom would kill me if I skipped."

"Just this once?" Eddie asks, his right hand clenched on his notebook. He doesn't know why it feels like if he lets Jeff out of his sight, he's never going to see him again. This school is pretty small - he could find him if he really wanted to. But if Jeff wants to avoid him, he could probably find a way.

"No can do, man. You'll understand when you meet my mom. She's the worst to disappoint. We could listen after school if you want though," Jeff says.

When you meet my mom, he said, like he's sure they'll be friends long enough for that to happen.

Eddie breathes out and says, "Sure. Meet me back here at the end of the day?"

Jeff nods and opens his mouth to say something, but the bell rings again, signaling that they're both late for class.

"Get to class," Eddie says when Jeff looks like he's going to stick around and wait for Eddie to finish putting his stuff in his bag.

Jeff says, "See you later," before waving and hurrying off to class.

Eddie just shakes his head and hopes that Jeff was serious about meeting him later.

He's fidgety during the last few classes of the day, even more so in his last class, counting the minutes until class ends. He's the first out of the door when the bell rings.

He shoves his stuff in his locker and tries to breathe. He doesn't want to look desperate or anxious if Jeff decides to show up.

He watches as everyone around him filters out of the hallway to go home and tries not to visibly react when Jeff materializes next to him with another kid by his side.

"Hey, Eddie! I hope it's cool I brought a friend," Jeff says, gesturing to his friend. "His nickname in middle school was, coincidentally, Freak, so I thought he'd fit right in with you." Jeff's smiling as he says it and it doesn't feel at all like when that jerk called him a freak earlier.

Eddie huffs out a laugh and asks, "What's your real name?"

"Frankie," he says, "But I kind of like Freak better."

"Freak it is then," Eddie says. "Do you like metal music?"

"Yeah, I guess. Jeff's been trying to get me into it," Freak says looking over at Jeff.

Jeff rolls his eyes. "I don't have a big collection of music or anything, so it's slow going on the music education front."

"Well I can help you there. I've got some stuff handy if you wanna hang out still," Eddie says, biting his lip.

"Of course we do! Lead the way. I just have to be home before dark because-"

"Your mom, right, right," Eddie says, grinning.

He looks at these two eager little freshmen, and thinks this is going to be fun, before leading them outside.