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popatochisssp · 3 years

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Are any of the new guys ok with being child free? (I keep having to explain to my fam how I'm NOT EVER going to have kids) And I'd like some solidarity from fictional skeletons.

Broadly speaking, I think all of them would be okay with that! In general, all the boys’ idea of the future is uncertain and something they need to work out with their s/o, so that informs the perspective a lot.

I truly don’t think ‘no kids’ or ‘yes kids’ would be an explicit deal-breaker for any of them, but in terms of where their thoughts naturally fall about the topic:

Pre-discussion/negotiation, it’s probably a no: Sky (Underswap Sans), Paps (Underswap Papyrus), Mal (Swapfell Sans), Rus (Swapfell Papyrus), Ash (Undergloom Sans), Brick (Horrorfell Sans), Merc (Horrorswap Sans), Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans)

Genuinely neutral or undecided: Sans (Undertale), Pyre (Underfell Papyrus), Papy (Horrortale Papyrus), King (Horrorfell Papyrus), Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus), Sunny (Gastertale Sans), Aster (Gastertale Papyrus)

Pre-discussion/negotiation, it’s probably a yes: Papyrus (Undertale), Jasper (Underfell Sans), Slate (Horrortale Sans), Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus), Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus)

But like I said... they’re flexible, because your relationship and the future they want to have with you doesn’t work without... well, you!

If you’re a ‘definitely no kids’ person and you see your skeleton in the ‘yes’ category, that doesn’t mean you’re doomed-- it just means a couple conversations about it to convey your thoughts...and depending on the level of gungho for having kids he is (most aren’t married to it), maybe agreeing to a compromise where you adopt an animal or two and be dog/cat/iguana/whatever-the-hell parents.

Same goes for a ‘yes i want kids’ person who sees their skeleton of choice in the ‘no’ section, that’s just where they are before talking it all out with you. Some time and a few conversations to understand where everybody’s coming from and how to move forward, they’re willing to negotiate.

Kids or no kids, neither is a deal-breaker, it’s all fine and you can work it out together!

Y’know what, while I’m at it, here’s just the basic thought processes of all of them, just to give a little peek into their skulls on the matter...

Sans (Undertale): Kids are fun, doesn’t have any particularly strong desire to have one of his own, but he raised his kid brother for awhile and he knows it’s something he can do, if it’s what you want.

Papyrus (Undertale): Kids are great and he’d be a great parent, he just knows it! You’d be a great parent, too! ...But if that’s not what you want to do, then that’s okay. There’s plenty of other great things for you to do together in life!

Sky (Underswap Sans): Kids are wonderful, but raising his little brother solo after their dad disappeared... That was hard and he definitely wasn’t ready for the responsibility. It was a humbling experience and he refuses to commit to having kids of his own until he’s sure it’s something he sincerely, passionately wants.

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): Feels awkward around kids, as a rule, and also kind of thinks of himself as a (mostly contained, at least) disaster of a skeleton. Is he ready for the responsibility of being in charge of a brand new being’s growth and development??? Not sure! Not sure at all!

Jasper (Underfell Sans): He likes kids alright... thinks about maybe having some of his own someday, the idea of a family is nice, in his head... but he definitely isn’t sure about the reality. Worries about if he’d be a good enough parent, or if his kids (if he were to have them) would resent him or just not like him. It’s a nice idea, but nothing’s set in stone for him.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): Honestly never thought about it. Part of him fully expected to die Underground in some battle or other, or excepting that, he wouldn’t find a partner who’d want to be with him long-term, much less long enough that he could make a family with them. He’s not...explicitly opposed to it, but he also hasn’t given it a lot of thought at all. He’ll need time to sort out his feelings, whatever his partner’s opinions on potential kids are.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Terrified, petrified to have kids of his own. Being around them is...fine, but... He’s got a lot of issues tied up with his...parent... and having to be a pseudo-parent to his own brother at a very young age, it’s made him worry about repeating patterns and failing, hurting, damaging, or otherwise doing his own children a disservice, if he were to have them-- even as a grown and well-situated adult. If kids are something his partner really wants, they’ve got those insecurities to talk about with him for sure.

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): He’s actually really good with kids, he relates to them well and always just talks to them like people, so of course they love him. But having his own... That, he’s not sure about. He’s definitely a little bit of a disaster, and still working on a lot of Adult Life Skills, and the thought of being in charge of a whole entire brand new person is more than a little scary. Not sure if he’s ready for that step--or if he’ll ever be!

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Loves kids, and loves the idea of a big family. He’s had more than enough death, life is very appealing to him and a full house honestly sounds wonderful. ...But he does have some memory issues, a dash of narcolepsy, and some hard, dissociative days that make him worry he might not be a very good parent. He’d do his best to do right by his kids if he ends up having them, of course he would, but if that’s just not in the cards for him, that wouldn’t be the end of the world. He’s the one who’d definitely want to bring in some furbabies if two-legged babies aren’t on the table, and he’d still be a very, very happy man!

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): He likes kids, but doesn’t have many strong feelings on having his own. He’d be alright either way his partner wanted to go-- as long as the two of them are together and safe and happy, he’s got everything he needs.

Ash (Undergloom Sans): Kids are fun, but honestly...oof. He’s got a chronic fatigue thing going on and keeping up with a kid for more than an hour or two at a time... he’s not sure he could hack it. Maybe he could, but that’s really something to think about before just diving in, y’know?

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Very good with children! They’re so curious and bright and he loves that about them! He’s got a lot of nurturing, caretaker tendencies built right into his personality, so he’s a natural at looking after and corralling them. He’s easily flustered and moves slow in his romantic relationships, though, so there’s a long timeline before the ‘should we have kids’ talk is even on the table, plenty of chances to share thoughts and work out a gameplan, whether that’s yea or nay. If yea, wonderful! If nay, he’d probably be just as happy babysitting friends’ kids and being Cool Uncle Papyrus as having any of his own.

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): It’s... a nice thought. But he definitely doesn’t trust himself enough to feel totally comfortable having kids of his own. He barely trusts himself in Polite Society some days, and he’d just be too worried about not being in control and hurting or scaring a little one, especially a little one of his own. He doesn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself if he made his own kid afraid of him. Plus memory issues, nightmares, (depending on his fluency at the time) a language barrier... So ‘no kids’ is...probably preferable, but if it’s something you really want... maybe start with an animal or two first? The ol’ practice-baby pet, see how it goes kinda deal, and move forward from there.

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Like his counterpart, never really thought about it much...but when he does, he decides he could go either way on it. If you’re not interested in kids, fine, that’s more time for just the two of you. If you are, well... he was literally a monarch that ruled over all of monsterkind, for a time--surely, he could manage to be a passingly decent parent, with you as his partner in the endeavor. He’ll take his cues from you as to whether it’s a yes or a no.

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): His feelings haven’t really changed from pre-Famine. In fact, he’s probably more hesitant now, after so viscerally confronting the consequences of his own hasty decisions and having to face his own fallibility the way he did. The thought of being responsible for a whole small life is very nerve-wracking--especially if said proposed life is to be biologically his, because he really doesn’t know what the DT in his system (pre or post-integration) will pass on to theoretical next-of-kin, if anything at all. Maybe not a ‘never,’ but not a vigorous, enthusiastic ‘yes’ either, lots to think about...and maybe tests to run...

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): A couple years ago, he’d have been a little more in the ‘no’ camp, but now... He’s been through a lot. He’s struggling sometimes still, at least emotionally, but he made it, so y’know... maybe he’s capable of handling more than he thought he was. Still not a solid ‘yes’--he’s aware of his lack of filter and its tendency to cause hurt feelings, and he does like his peace and quiet, which kids are very much not conducive to, as a rule, so he’d have to put in some work and make some sacrifices-- but he’s no longer wholly a ‘no’ either. Depending on your own thoughts, there’s plenty of room to negotiate.

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Kids are fine, he can handle them well enough, and even the thought of having his own doesn’t stress him out so much as it once did--he’s changed a lot, and been through a lot, taking a second crack at parenthood from a new perspective wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world--but he’s also not particularly interested in it. He likes his leisure time and his luxuries, and much as he’s sure he could find room in that to accommodate a child...he doesn’t see much of a reason to. He could be convinced, if it’s something that you really want, but he’d also stay childfree without a second thought to the matter.

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): Good with kids, like his counterpart, but also a little more capable and confident in himself and his ability to get things done. So... having a kid might be a little intimidating for him, but he generally feels like he could probably figure it out... and a kid might be a nice outlet for some of his caretaking urges, and extra motivation to keep fighting his phobia, to make sure their childhood is good and doesn’t suffer from them having a dad who’s scared to go outside. He definitely likes the idea of someone to look after and to be better for, but if that’s not for you, he wouldn’t force the issue. Would maybe want a furbaby though, instead, probably special needs that not everybody could/would be able to take care of (like Dizzy!) to fill that niche.

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Kids are really cool and fun to hang out with--crazy little people, no filter, just running around, saying things, living life--they’re awesome, but he’s not totally sold on the idea of having his own. He does a lot of aimless life-living himself, and he feels like maybe that’s not the best thing for a kid. He doesn’t really have a career, he does things without a lot of planning, he goes places spontaneously, and... maybe that’s fun and exciting for a kid to be raised around, or maybe it’s unstable and harmful. He’s not really sure which and he probably doesn’t want to bring a kid into the mix until he knows. With a partner who’s a ‘yes’ on children and can help him co-parent and all that, sure, he’d probably be willing to give it a go. With one who’s a ‘no,’ that’s fine too, it’s a nonissue!

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): A little weird and stiff around kids, never totally sure how he’s supposed to talk to them or what he’s meant to say (especially when it comes to those things you’re supposed to lie to kids about, he’s very bad at that!!!), but he has nothing against children in general. As far as the idea of having his own... Well, if his partner wants to have kids, it wouldn’t be a no-- he’d just have to do a lot of research on the subject first, to feel more comfortable and to hopefully prepare, mentally, as much as one can ever prepare for this. After that, he’d be open to discuss and negotiate the matter with his partner from there, to sort out the logistics. With a partner who doesn’t want kids, though, he’d almost certainly never even bring it up on his own and honestly probably thinks of ‘childfree’ as the expected default rather than something quirky, nontraditional, or a deal-breaker.

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murasaki-murasame · 3 years

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Thoughts on Higurashi Gou Ep22

All of this ‘the culprit’s motives are super shallow and they’re just unhealthily obsessive’ discourse is giving me war flashbacks to . . . . basically every other part of the entire When They Cry franchise, lol.

Thoughts under the cut. [Plus spoilers for Umineko]

I feel like at the end of the day we’re all just gonna have to agree to disagree about how we feel about how Ryukishi is handling Satoko as the culprit here, since I don’t really think any amount of social media posts detailing our interpretations of her character are gonna change anyone’s minds, lol. But I’m still gonna give my thoughts on her anyway because it’s fun, even if I’m basically just preaching to the choir.

To be honest, this feels pretty much in line with how Ryukishi already wrote characters like Takano and Beatrice, in terms of them having unhealthy obsessions that lead them to mass-murder. The amount of violence Satoko has caused is arguably worse than either of them, but they’re all pretty awful if you think about the reality of what they all did as villains.

Sorta like with how a lot of the old-school Umineko discourse went, I think people are too focused on the whole idea of Satoko hating studying, and ignoring everything else about her character and her circumstances. Although even then I feel like people are being kinda unfair toward Satoko about how strongly she feels about academics, but maybe I’m just biased because of my own history with schooling and the intense levels of anxiety and self-hatred that can go along with it.

Plus the fact that Satoko already has a long history of sever abandonment issues, and has basically always had HS that amplified her feelings of paranoia and persecution. It’s pretty obvious at this point that she never really got ‘cured’ in the first place, though it’s less important to think about HS as an in-universe fictional disease with it’s own rules, and more important to just think about it as a representation of real-life mental illnesses which aren’t bound by the rules of made-up brain-worm parasites and aliens or whatever.

Also, the Satoko that started all this looping in the first place was one who never dealt with Teppei returning to the village, and thus never went through her whole character arc related to that. The series is kinda ambiguous about how it handles the idea of people’s character development carrying over between loops, but it explains a lot about Satoko’s attitude here if you go with the idea that she never really had to overcome any of her trauma or coping mechanisms in the “good ending timeline”, and this is the consequence of that taken to it’s logical extreme. The idea of her view of the world being skewed by the fact that she only remembers the “good ending timeline” is also kinda lamp-shaded by the part where she hears about Rika’s looping and is like “oh yeah, that’s the month where we had that cool action movie stand-off with the Mountain Dogs :)”. By the time she really got to understand exactly what was going on beyond the specific timeline she had experienced, she was already way over the edge.

I get why people don’t like the idea of Gou ‘tainting’ the VN’s happy ending, but I honestly like the idea that it’s examining the consequences of how Matsuribayashi was such an overly-specific timeline where basically nothing bad happened and everyone just banded together to beat Takano. It kinda glossed over a lot of the personal problems that the main cast had in the rest of the series, and this really goes to show the effects of some of that stuff not getting properly addressed. It also reminds me that Minagoroshi is a timeline that even in the VN, Rika completely lost her memories of, so I can see how even post-Matsuribayashi she might have never let Satoko know about the details of that one timeline where she overcome her abuse.

I also feel like it only really got to this point because of Featherine’s meddling. In the original Matsuribayashi timeline, Satoko just started drifting away from Rika and ended up wandering into the Saiguden and meeting Featherine before anything actually serious happened in that timeline. I think that if she had just been left to her own devices and that timeline had just kept going, Satoko probably would have either found a way to reconnect with Rika, or they would have just slowly drifted apart for good. But then Satoko got given the power to time travel, and only started going off the deep end after going through another five years of identical suffering.

And on that whole note, it reminds me of how in Umineko, Lambda had a whole conversation about the idea of an abused person becoming an abuser themself if they’re given the power to lash out. Which is basically what’s happening here. Satoko is being given the tools to completely detach herself from reality and try as many times as she likes to get what she wants.

Which also reminds me that this episode in particular REALLY lays the Umineko parallels on thick, lol. Particularly the whole ‘Satoko is turning into Lambda’ thing, which feels just about 100% confirmed now. They straight up have Featherine bring up the exact same ‘monkeys using a typewriter’ analogy to explain Rika’s situation that Lambda uses in Umineko to explain Bern’s situation.

I know a lot of people don’t like the increasingly blatant Umineko tie-ins, and that a lot of people still think it might just be misdirection, but considering how much stuff in Gou has been surprisingly straightforward and predictable, I think it’s pretty much exactly what it seems to be.

Though to be more specific, this is probably more about the start of Lambda and Bern’s relationship, and their appearances in Umineko, rather than the very first origins of them as individuals, if that makes sense. Obviously the concept of Bernkastel as an identity has been around since Higurashi itself, and we’ve known for a long time that Lambda was the one who originally gave Takano her blessing of certainty, but we’ve never known the full details of how those two started their relationship, and Featherine’s whole series of name-drops in the last episode makes it seem like Lambda as a meta individual more or less already exists, with Satoko being an iteration of her. So I think they both technically already exist, but this is how the two of them come into contact and start their whole unhealthily obsessive relationship.

I guess it’s still possible that, even if she’s already existed for a long time as a meta individual, she hasn’t actually come up with the name ‘Lambdadelta’ for herself yet, and this might be where she does so. Even with the list of names Featherine referenced, she didn’t technically bring up Lambda’s name directly. So in that sense this might be ‘Lambda’s’ origin story, even if she already exists.

Considering how basically the entire story at this point seems to be acting in service of setting up the whole LambdaBern relationship dynamic no matter what, I’m becoming increasingly convinced that this will end with Satoko and Rika fully embracing their codependency and mutually ascending to the meta plane so they can stay together once and for all. There might still be human versions of them that stay behind in the real world and continue living normal lives, though.

At the very least, it feels like that’s the logical outcome of the whole Chekov’s Sword Fragment plot device that’s been hanging in the background for ages now. I think it’ll just be the in-universe explanation they use to show the mechanics of how exactly that process works. It’ll probably be used to ‘sever’ Satoko and Rika’s meta consciousnesses from their physical bodies and allow them to basically become witches.

Mainly I just can’t really see this having a ‘happy ending’ at this point, aside from the whole idea that maybe the severing process leaves behind ‘normal’ versions of the two of them who stay in Hinamizawa and go back to their normal lives. I dunno if that’d make people happy, but it’d at least be a way for Ryukishi to have his cake and eat it too, lol.

I just don’t think that there’s any real chance of this ending with them just talking to each other and agreeing to put an end to all this, though. For one thing that’d just feel kinda anticlimactic and honestly make Gou’s story feel even MORE pointless, if it just ends with literally the exact same ending as the VN with nothing really being changed. But I also feel like Featherine wouldn’t be willing to just let Satoko ‘give up’ without having one of them definitively win their current game. In general I just feel like Ryukishi should just commit to the story he’s setting up at this point, instead of just backing out at the last minute and circling everything back to the same ending we already had like nothing in Gou ever happened. If we’re gonna have this whole new story to begin with, it should at least have some lasting consequences.

Anyway, I think in the next episode we’re finally going to loop back to the Damashi arcs and see how they played out. At this point I don’t care too much about getting answers to the ground-level mysteries of those arcs, and I doubt the story will spend much time on that, but I’m curious to see how it progresses Satoko’s whole development through these loops, since I think she goes through some changes with her motives and methods over the course of them.

Specifically I think that the actual experience of being physically present in her own set of loops and causing so much pain and suffering started to get to her, and she might have almost given up in her own way during Tataridamashi and wanted to just stay in that arc, but things went south anyway. Maybe, if that’s what happened, Featherine basically let her know that she won’t let her give up, and will force her to keep looping until one of them ‘wins’ no matter what. Either way, I think that arc was a turning point for her. Like how she asked Featherine to arrange things so that Satoko can make sure that she and Rika’s loops are synced up, she probably asked Featherine after that arc to change the rules again so that Rika will start remembering the details of her deaths. At this point it’s pretty obvious that the Hanyuu fragment Rika was talking to earlier in Gou was more or less just Featherine putting on an act and manipulating her, so the scene of Hanyuu giving her the power to remember her deaths was probably just Featherine telling her about the rule change.

And going by how the Nekodamashi arc went immediately afterward, I think that rule change was related to Satoko becoming increasingly desperate to put an end to the loops as soon as possible. And considering how she was willing to spend so much time reviewing Rika’s hundred years of looping just to prepare for this, it’d make sense to me if she becomes desperate because she basically gives up, but realizes that she isn’t actually allowed to give up, so she has to try and make Rika give in as fast as possible. Either way it’s pretty obvious that Satoko’s methods start becoming more violent in that arc, and she basically tries to brute-force Rika into submission, leading up to the loop where she just spawn-camps her and straight up starts screaming at her to just stay in the village while tearing out her guts. It’s still possible that her attitude in that loop was just one big act, but I think that was the result of her being genuinely desperate to just have Rika give up once and for all, and her starting to crack under the pressure of doing all of these things with her own hands across so many loops.

So now we’ll just have to see how the confrontation between them at the end of Nekodamashi plays out once we get back to it. In the long run I just think it’ll lead to the ending I talked about before, with them using the sword on each other. The exact nuances of how that sorta ending might play out are up in the air, though.

Either way, I think there’s probably enough time to wrap up all that in two more episodes, but there’s still reason to believe that there might be some kind of sequel in the works. I don’t really want to bet on it, though, so I’m just gonna assume that there’s two episodes left and base my theories on that. In which case I think the next episode will go over the Damashi arcs and end with Rika and Satoko’s confrontation at the end of Nekodamashi, and then the final episode will wrap everything up. Considering that they both more or less know exactly what’s going on with each other by that point, there isn’t really that much that needs to be wrapped up. I think that will be the final loop we get, so it’ll all just come down to how their confrontation plays out, and what decision they come to about how to handle each other.

I honestly don’t really know how I think a full sequel would go, if it’s at least one cour long. Assuming that it’s not just a new Umineko anime that more or less continues Rika and Satoko’s arc via Lambda and Bern, but is a straight up ‘Higurashi Gou Season 2′. It just feels like there isn’t really that much that needs to be done to wrap things up, now that everything’s being laid out in the open, and Rika and Satoko are both aware of each other’s looping. They might switch it up so that they both end up teaming up to take down Featherine, but I kinda doubt that’ll happen.

I’m still hoping this is leading into some kind of new Umineko anime though, lol. That feels like it’d be the main reason for putting so much effort into this whole elaborate LambdaBern origin story we’re getting here.

I’ve heard rumors that there’s been listings for a 25th episode of Gou, so it’s possible that rather than another full season, there’s just one extra episode at the end. I’m not exactly sure what the point of doing one extra unannounced episode at the end would be, though. It might end up being a bridge between Gou and a new Umineko anime.

At the very least, if it’s just ‘Satokowashi Part 8′, it makes me wonder why they haven’t announced it yet, and why they didn’t just split that arc into two BD volumes with four episodes each, instead of having it be one big volume with seven episodes, and one random episode at the end for some reason. But if it’s more of an epilogue or a bridge of sorts between Gou and something else, with Gou’s story concluding with episode 24, then I guess it’d make some sense to do it that way.

We also know there’s gonna be a panel for Gou at a convention around when ep24 comes out, so if anything gets announced it’ll probably happen there.

Anyway, this whole episode can be summed up as “Satoko does a gay little psychological torture that pisses Rika off”, in the most morbidly entertaining way possible, lmao.

#murasaki reblogs #higurashi #higurashi gou

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melohax · 3 years

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Been a hot minute since I've ever sent an ask so kinda curious, do you have any personal headcanons about Mari that you particularly like/enjoy? Can be basically anything from thinking it really fits the character to it just seeming like it'd be fun (like Sunny being the resident catboy in behaviour)

Tumblr didn’t notify me again that I had an ask, hope I’m my reply isn’t too late!

I do have hcs about Mari that I like, mostly involving her with Aubrey. I really like hcs about the flaws and imperfect sides of her as well.

In the same way Hero and Kel’s parents show favoritism for Hero, I kinda hc that Mari would be the favorite in her family as well. She’s the overachieving perfectionist with a “perfect” boyfriend and great sense of responsibility. I hc that she was probably the apple of her father’s eye and the sibling everyone had high expectations for.

I really like the idea that after Mari and Aubrey would’ve gotten their hair dyed, they’d get some strands in each other’s colors. Like, Aubrey with some purple and white strands amidst her pink hair and Mari with some pink and aqua strands in her purple hair. Would be super cute if they braided those strands or put accessories specifically on them, as well.

Mari and Aubrey getting mini makeovers and dressup sessions together and sometimes roping Basil in with them too.

Mari teaching Aubrey how to be good at softball and being the source of Aubrey’s love of baseball bats.

Although not averse to socializing, I imagine Mari wouldn’t have that many friends outside the main group, mostly just acquaintances. People would admire her “perfection” from a distance but never got too close.

She’d be kinda popular at school mostly thanks to being Hero’s girlfriend but otherwise she didn’t hang out with that many different people. I think her personality being this interesting mix of mischievous and perfectionist would make people like her but also keep them a bit at arms’ length. Mari was probably fine with that, though. She was the type of person that didn’t need a large group of friends to feel fulfilled.

Even with how Mari liked to encourage Hero to go for a career he likes, she didn’t completely practice what she preached there. She looked at that part of her future more as something to be good at than something she would fully enjoy. She’s was also the type to tell Hero to take breaks when studying for school while herself studying for hours on end.

Aubrey’s eggplant beach bag was a gift from Mari.

Music was something Mari was passionate about but also often a source of frustration and stress. Pretty much what most artists feel at some point tbh, lol.

Sunny’s apparent lack of passion for violin probably annoyed her deeply cus under her graceful surface, she was a very intense person that took her hobby very seriously. His mistakes on the violin often made her think it was from not wanting to try hard enough. Sunny sometimes cried from the pain his fingers would be in and although Mari would be sympathetic, she was used to making herself practice to the point of pain. She saw it a bit as a necessary evil to master the piano.

Mari knew she needed to be mindful of Sunny’s feelings but she itched to ask him sometimes why he even wanted to play violin in the first place if he wasn’t going to be fully committed to it.

Her parents placed a lot of their own parental role onto Mari’s shoulders and she took that responsibility very seriously. Being a figure of authority to Sunny and the rest of the kids probably exacerbated a controlling streak she’d developed from her perfectionism.

Even with the group, I imagine Mari was mostly private about the things she struggled with. She liked listening and helping with Hero’s problems but didn’t like bringing up her own much. It wasn’t so much because she didn’t want to burden Hero but more because she didn’t want to appear weak in front of others.

She actively liked the position of wise older sister that had the kids looking up to her. She loved teasing them a bit and teaching them things. Sadly, this sort of role also probably brought out the worst of her control issues sometimes.

She could be the gentlest, most patient teacher imaginable at times. However, she was sometimes as mean as she could be gentle, getting really demanding if things weren’t going her way.

Sorry for any typos, kinda drowsy today.

#omori #omori spoilers #omori game #mari omori #omori mari #mari (omori)#aubrey omori #omori aubrey #sunny omori

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holyhalliwells · 3 years

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imo, the show was often unilaterally focused on Piper, but only on what she could do for others (Piper the wife and Piper the mother) rather than who she was as a person. Piper's individual characterization was lost sometime around s5 as soon as she got pregnant, and being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series. I would be very interested to hear what you define as Piper's mental issues/trauma, bc as you say it doesn't get said enough

this has been in my inbox forever and i’m just getting around to it so my apologies.

but okay. so. yes. i think a lot of tv shows fall into this weird place where like. all of their characters begin with these kinda vague personalities because you’re just getting to know them. and as the show goes on, you pick up more pieces and stuff . and that’s great. that’s interesting and entertaining and it takes you on a journey and all. but often what happens is many shows fall into this pit where writers either get lazy, they change, or whatever, and the actors are tired of playing the part or whatever . and like. the characters become like. caricatures of themselves. and it just gets exhausting to watch because they’re not like. real people anymore.

Piper's individual characterization

so now for the charmed thing. so from the beginning. i have loved piper. like she’s the middle sister, overlooked, quiet, reserved, pessimistic but also realistic, gentle, thoughtful, all that. we see right away that she loves to cook .. she’s so happy her family is back together. she kept in touch with phoebe behind prue’s back. but she’s loyal to the both of them. her first idea was to have a reunion dinner when phoebe came home. she’s literally so cute n she deserves a hug. but no like. as we go on, we see that she wants to be good, she wants a stable life with no more loss, she Loves Love !! like. she wants to just be happy , open her own restaurant n just cook. she’s also so shy .. definitely panicky and anxious. and she doesn’t trust herself. she’s skeptical of everything, and she’s very thoughtful when it comes to big situations. even in the early days with leo and into season 2, she mentioned a few things about like “i’ve been thinking a lot about this...” and you can see she’s good at communicating with people. she’s also got these other dimensions to her like . she is interested in lots of cuisine types, she loves to read (and is a camus fan !!) , she drives a jeep (which i wanna know how she got bc i have questions), when she found out she was a witch her first thought was just . i need to go and see if i am still a good person . and she went to church. prue was surprised to learn that piper enjoys knitting. in the early seasons (especially mid-late season 3) we saw her with her plants and all. she’s just this natural peacekeeper. but like. we literally got a crying scene in the second episode because she was so conflicted about this. and she’s such a deep and complex character that i fell in love with so fast . and like . literally my favourite fictional character to exist . genuinely holly breathed so much life into piper . anyway . so. here’s the thing.

being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series

like. piper was who i described above. and like . i kinda think . a bit. that like . the writers . especially in s4 . were like . hmm well . she’s just lost prue, she’s gonna be grieving . and like we need more for her. so. she’s been married to leo for the better part of a year, been with him for like . 3 years. so. let’s maybe consider giving them a kid but not just yet . just Content kinda stuff. so anyway they drop little hints in here and there starting in like . 4x07 i think? which . brain drain really paid the rent . fully just. holly did so well. but like. that ep was just. a neat way of looking into her mind and seeing the horrors of manipulation and gaslighting and everything . and of course holly knocked it out of the park. but at that point, they were kinda like . hmm . kids ? and they started toying with the idea, having piper and leo consider it, talk about it, they had paige and phoebe ask about it , all of that good stuff. as you do. made for some funny tv at some points. and like . i really, really Get It . when piper’s like . ahh the baby wouldn’t be safe around here !!!! like. Girl, Valid . your sister just died and like . you went on forever about how she was The Most Powerful One . The Strongest One . and yet she still died . so she’s like ??? am i next ?? and like obv it doesn’t make sense for her to jump on this train of like . i’m gonna have a kid !!!! so she’s really valid in her thought process there. and like. after having wyatt . i think the writers really . idk. couldn’t do waaay too much with her character anymore because i feel like . to an extent, anything she does will be scrutinized bc i’m not just . saying this . i rlly feel like sometimes piper’s the easiest to hate. like idk why but i loved her. but anyway. if she stays at home with wyatt and doesn’t wanna fight demons n all . then she’s selfish towards her sisters n she’s awful n prue wouldn’t have let her do that !!!! etc . but if she fought demons it’s like . uh sweetie you have a child . really ??? why put yourself in a situation that might have you ending up like patty 2.0 ... bc i could do a Whole post on how patty’s situation messed piper up the most. but anyway.

it’s the way i’m fully rambling so if you’re reading this . i love you . anyway okay . so . i think in a tv show you’ve gotta kinda check boxes. the best tv shows have characters you see yourself in . you relate to them. you hear them and understand their decisions and actions and thoughts. the things they do just makes sense 2 you. so like. with prue, anyone married to their job could relate to her. any oldest sibling could see themselves in her, you know ? she was hard-working, committed, logical, protective. and with phoebe, anyone who couldn’t “settle down” in their early 20s related 2 her, anyone who felt like the outcast of the family, the “screw-up” .. right. makes sense. she was so kind, caring, had-your-back kinda girl. we all love those. paige was like . the new kid, trying to fit in, creative, curious, and definitely a lifelong learner. and then there’s piper who was shy, resistant, really just wanted to be normal. and loved. and i think everyone could kinda identify with at least one of the sisters regardless of where you stood in your own family. so as the show went on, it’s like . they still want you to keep watching and keep being able to identify with them because it’s not like they’re humans with normal lives so they’ve already kinda lowkey got that going against them . so their more “human” and normal lives... we’ve gotta be able to identify with them to be able to invest time. so they had prue always working, having trouble balancing love and work, looking out for her family. we had phoebe kinda living her life, getting her career going, then kinda wanting a family. we had paige learning magic and being super interested and involved and then getting married. and we had piper who had her career pretty early on, got married, and had kids. like. i think the big thing is the marriage and kids. and when you’re a mother . the only mother really in the show, the show lowkey centres around you . like. for starters, the show usually is in the manor, and if you’re a mother, you’re very likely at home, esp with young kids. so i think that alone kinda was like . huh yeah . won’t see piper out waaay too much anymore i guess !!! but no like . there’s That. that’s kinda. the thing that really can’t change with the show . like. piper’s got kids now and a husband and very, very likely . her life will be centred around her home. which. listen she’s wanted that i think - the stability . she’s wanted that forever. and this is the form it came in. but i should stop rambling here and cut to the point .

Piper's mental issues/trauma

disclaimer: i’m not diagnosing her, i’m just speculating based off of my own experiences with mental health

so. okay. very early on. we saw that anxiety. like. yes . she was nervous about like a whole new life experience . or whatever we’re gonna call it when you figure out you’re a witch . but like she was Anxious . like. crying in the attic over being a bad person . needing phoebe to talk her down by telling her she’s such a caring person, she’s always doing things for other people . and then there’s the whole anxiety that comes with. my family’s falling apart because my sisters are fighting so i use really awkward methods of getting out of things . like using humour as a coping mechanism !!! which. gave us some iconic one-liners. but that’s beside the point . anyway. point is. early on, that anxiety was there. there’s an ep in season 1 where she’s literally entering a panic attack in her kitchen and phoebe’s using a menu to cool her down. like. Yikes! and then she’s just. her awkward self around everyone but that’s endearing and is just part of her personality . and i think a lot of the anxiety stemmed from childhood. we heard a few times about how prue and phoebe had boyfriends growing up, were always pretty and popular and all. phoebe was popular, too, just, in the other crowd. but nonetheless, piper faded into the background, doing well in math - well enough to go off and be a banker . and like. she sacrificed a lot for grams. she stayed in san francisco ... we all know the girl had the marks for stanford or something . like. though . still, i think she liked the stability of home and prob would’ve stayed . but in 3x17 she’s all !!! grams !!! the doctor said no caffeine !!! and when grams was taking the pic of them outside and she had an episode , piper was all !!!! shallow breaths !!! like. it was clear piper was the one taking her to the appointments and footing the bill. like. she literally became a banker just bc it had benefits n stuff. like. poor girl really thought . anyway that’s a whole spiral. but no. like she really sacrificed The Most for her family and everyone still thought she was selfish for wanting to move out . when like back then grams was literally ... sick ... and prue was out here moving out and phoebe was nowhere to be found . so. that . definitely would have added to her anxiety about even wanting to do anything for herself because she’ll be perceived as selfish in a heartbeat. even if it’s not Mean . it’s just. she’d never risk it. but there’s the anxiety. there are a few lil things here n there about how she gets nervous n stuff, she represses things (3x07 i think was where phoebe said piper represses her anger n just sucks it up n does whatever) . she literally cancelled her doctor’s appointment Twice . anyway. it still angers me. then in season 7 . patty and victor were like . oh she had night terrors that were so bad we took her to the doctor ! and i just ... honey . baby. she thought she caused the divorce. at 4? 5? she watched victor leave on her 5th birthday, watched a demon attack her, grams, and victor. prue said she didn’t cry at patty’s funeral and i’ll make a safe bet that piper did. and i think growing up without patty was strange for sure. prue had more memories and phoebe had none. and piper had fragments of this person everyone loved . and she was stuck between knowing her and not knowing her. and when patty was sent to her for her wedding day, (as well as in 1x17) . both times when patty hugged them . prue and phoebe hugged her, eyes closed n all. while piper was on the outside, eyes open . looking numb as all hell . and you know. i rlly think she was Giving Them That because phoebe didn’t get her and prue kinda . in a way. lost more of her . if that makes sense ?? and i just. patty really was like . they sent me to You. and 5 seconds later . piper’s like . they sent mom to Us !!! and it’s that idea of sacrifice and never having anything for yourself because she was never just . given anything for herself . everything in her life has been a sacrifice and as a mother, that’s perpetuated. she can assume that role with more of a purpose . like. people won’t really feel sorry for her now as the “forgotten” sister, they won’t try and coddle her or anything. and another thing. control. piper craved stability and control. i think while cooking was something she loved, it also gave her a lot of control . she could control her whole kitchen . even in season 8 .. maybe vaya con leos actually . leo mentioned how much piper craves control. and the control motif makes sense with her powers too. like. piper craved control so much that her powers allowed her to control things down to the atom. so there’s the whole anxiety and needing to control things to ease her anxiety and all. there’s That whole thing.

and then we get to the infamous season 5 fearless spell . ms girl really sat in the attic just writing everything on the wall and it’s the way i screenshotted it and like . zoomed in and tried deciphering it . and like . there’s words like “stop” and i think “sister” is in there a few times, so is “loss” or “lost”. when i watch it next i’ll grab a cap because it’s . disturbing. girl was so scared . literally was writing a spell to get rid of her fears . she also writes Fear . as in. capital F . and like. yeah that’s deep but i do it too like i emphasize words with a capital letter . and like holly marie combs might just have quirky n fun writing but like ... capital F . for Fear. for real . that’s . trauma !!! and she also was having panic attacks at the beginning of season 5. let’s not forget those. which ... we should’ve gotten more of an explanation for . i hope that girl is getting help bc she was Going Through It . and in season 7 when zankou reads her diary . firstly. we Knew this girl kept a diary like . for Sure . she did. and just that little excerpt of when prue died . oops. i’d pay big money to see the rest because again i just think she’s got such a complex mind and like. i’d be so interested to read that. and i think everything re: prue is just Awful for her. like . idk if this is just something quirky i noticed but obv we know prue died in may 2001 . but at the end of 4x03, when piper goes 2 paige’s work 2 bring her muffins !! soft !!! the calendar on one of the desks reads july 2001 ... and i really just. ms girl. i Know they prob just filmed the ep in july but it honestly tracks that she’d be so awfully upset about everything and just . barely able to do anything but cook . for 2 months. like. honey. baby. i wanted 2 just cuddle her bc she was so sad. and like. she tells paige she’s having “good hours” and “not so good hours” . she’s going by the Hour . by the Hour . just. need i say more . i’m so . but no like. if anything like i could see her having like . depression where she’s high-functioning and like just . walking depression i guess ?? like . not even after prue. i think in general. like . she definitely has a melancholic temperament and a type 6 enneagram (the skeptic). that’s For Sure . but i think. just. she’s always just had time to think bc she’s always alone, reading, knitting, cooking, tending to her plants, all that. and i just . think. she has issues. and i think prue knew that. of all people. and i think her knowing that . and then dying. destroyed piper. she lost the last person that was truly a constant in her life . like they shared a roof over their heads forever. and then she was just . gone . and piper was suddenly left to pick up the pieces . and become the oldest sister . and i’m So glad she didn’t fully assume her personality. i’m glad she stayed as piper . just. she’s more cynical and snarky and defensive and cold and that’s okay. she’s hurting. she’s always gonna hurt . and i think it makes her human . she’s pessimistic and sad and has a short fuse at times . but just. again. i love her to bits and i think those issues make her more relatable for me. because while many like to say she became selfish and a negative person and just . awful to be around . i’d say the opposite . i won’t sit and apologize or justify things. also i don’t think piper’s done anything wrong . i just think she’s hurt. she’s been wronged so many times. and she’s .... scared. i think she’s scared . and in season 5 “sympathy for the demon” we learn her true biggest fear is her happiness being stolen away. and like . it’s not that she’s scared she won’t be happy. she’s scared all of the good she’s got will be taken from her . and that’s . terrifying . so . i see why she’s so snarky and bitter and tired and all . she’s terrified of things being taken from her like they have been her whole life. and as i watch the show i really like to just keep that in mind as i get further and further in because yes. she did become a mother and a wife and we saw her arguing with leo a lot and their marriage falling apart and That Whole Era . we saw how it kind of took over her life but i think it happens . i think she even said at one point . i’ve been so many things to so many people, i don’t know who i am anymore . and i think it sums her up perfectly. she doesn’t know who she is because she’s someone to everyone . she’s just. nobody to herself except this scared little girl who just wants Something . Anything . to make sense . some Stability . and her babies, her husband, and her sisters . are all she has for that idea of stability to make sense in her mind. and it was an easy hole to fall into - the Mother - but i think she jumped in. because at the Very Least . nobody could take that title away from her . regardless of how hard they tried .

#i really cannot believe i did an entire ted talk #like did anyone actually read this #if you did . wow #piper halliwell deserved better #tw: mental health #tw: depression #tw: anxiety #tw: panic attack #but no listen #she deserved so much better #holly paid rent #ask me #charmed #ramble #💌

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lollytea · 3 years

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Fearless (part 1/3)

(Ty/Louie fairytale au fic. i am simply a bitch writing about my au and my oc so it is all very catered to me personally and im aware not a lot of ppl will read it. but if you DO read it, i love u so much. i guess tw for blood/serious injuries relating to teen characters. nothing too graphic but be warned. Also if you’re curious, info on the au here, here and here.)

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[OCTOBER 22ND, 6:19PM] The sky was bleeding pink and orange and Louie tried to focus on it. Didn't take much brainpower to appreciate a sunset. He clung to the sight with desperation, muttering the simplest thoughts under his breath like a mantra.

It was pretty. He liked sunsets. He liked pink. He liked orange. The distraction wasn't working. The unpleasantness that was already writhing in his stomach churned. His finger was on his temple, idly tracing delicate circles against the tightly wrapped bandage. His head hurt. The point where his shoulder met his upper arm was also dressed. The stitching still had to heal up. That hurt too. Louie was pretty stupid. Which was not something he usually thought. But it was a real kick in the confidence when someone sharp-witted did something stupid. And it was a real kick in the heart when someone who didn't wanna hurt anybody ended up hurting somebody. This was stupid. He had already tried reading as a means of distraction. Too hard. Too many words. Way too much of a strain on his mild concussion. This was so, so stupid. Sitting by his windowsill, he hoped this dumb bandage would be gone soon. His forehead felt sticky and damp with sweat. He was stupid. He wished Webby were here. If she were, she'd be in the courtyard below his window sparring with Dewey. At least then, Louie could watch and keep his mind occupied. No. No, that wasn't right. If Webby were here, she would've attached herself to Louie by now, hugging him tight until his injury healed. If it had been any other incident, Louie would let her, crumbling into her arms and whimpering about the pain as his amazing, magical sister made it all ebb away. But this wasn't any other incident. If Webby were here, he wouldn't be able to accept her hugs. The very idea rubbed him the wrong way. If anyone was entitled to healing hugs, it wasn't Louie, it was--.... His face twisted up. Webby wasn't here. She was off on some quest with Lena. Probably wouldn't be back for days. So there was no point in dwelling over hypotheticals. Louie would heal on his own. They were both gonna have to heal on their own. The sunset was fading.

It was pretty. Pink... Orange.... He couldn't do this.

Why was he doing this?! Louie always knew himself to be a coward but this was to a pathetic extent. Depraved even. He felt sick.

He couldn't. He just couldn't. Every additional second he spent hiding in his room was weighing him down. It was suffocating. But he couldn't leave. He was too scared.

Freezing up just like always. Just stop being so fucking scared! He would have to confront what he did eventually. There was no way around it. So, why couldn't he just go now? Louie had far worse things in his life to be dreading. Far worse. A ticking clock of trepidation was seated deep inside him. A predestined future he couldn't rewrite which, on all accounts, should render him paralyzed. But he wasn't. This was the sort of thing to demolish him. Apparently. Stupid. This shouldn't be overdriving his other senses. This shouldn't be flooding his mind. He shouldn't be drowning right now. This shouldn't have his hands shaking. This shouldn't have him pacing the length of his room. This shouldn't be stealing the oxygen from his lungs. His brain was pounding against his skull, protesting his rapid back-and-forth movement. He was dizzy. He shouldn't be crying. Fuck it! He was always crying, who cares about that?! Just stop panicking, just stop crying, just stop being so selfish for once and just own up. Louie's back crashed against his door, gasping for breath. Stars were blotting his vision and he couldn't breathe and it was the end of the world. Okay. Okay. He was spiraling again. That was all it was, it would be okay. It would be okay. The prince's bed chambers, alive with the choking sound of contained distress, subsided to complete silence for just a moment. Inhale. Exhale. And then all to be heard was a small, crackling voice straining to sing himself a quiet little lullaby. ___________ [OCTOBER 22ND, 10:07AM] "Your highness, don't be an idiot. You can't just---Hey! Wait up!" "H'oh boy..." Louie's eyes flicked to the high heavens. Right now he felt like he was tasked with personally escorting this goddamn boy across this goddamn forest by the goddamn ankles. He whirled around impatiently, crossing his arms with a flourish. "Pick up the pace, Tiberius. We don't have all day." "Can you maybe not be a huge pain for like... I dunno, five minutes?" Snapped Ty, his dearly devoted retainer and most notorious pain-in-the-tail. "Can you maybe loosen up? Y'know it's a real mood killer when there's a paranoid guy on my case all the time, insisting that the whole world is out to get me. Being constantly reminded of my fragile mortality? Woo, talk about fun times." Scowling, Ty stumbled his way over a protruding tree root. "You've got a bad habit of attracting danger, you know that, right? I'm pretty sure it's a Duck thing." The remark slapped the annoyed expression right off Louie's face. Ty quirked an eyebrow. "What's that look for?" Before he could further analyse, Louie sharply turned on his heel and strode on. "It's a Duck thing." He said, keeping his tone even. Both of them knew it was a Duck thing. Ty just didn't know the half of it. "Your highness," He heard Ty gripe. "You know this is a bad idea. A prince shouldn't be out in the open like this without proper protection. And I'm unprepared right now. I can't--" If Ty weren't yakking so much, Louie wouldn't know if he was still there. He wasn't wearing his armor for once so the familiar clank and clatter of metal was nonexistent. "You got your sword, right? You can do a lot of damage with that thing." "Yeah but no juice. And I need juice. See, 'cause what if we get in a tight spot and you--?" "What do you think is gonna happen, Ty?! For the love of all that is gold, It's just a party." "It's never just anything." He grumbled. Ty jogged ahead a little, matching his pace to Louie's. His footsteps alongside him were purposefully heavy So, he was stomping now. Real mature. Louie rolled his eyes. He was fully aware Ty was pissed, he didn't have to go above and beyond to make his anger known. "You really think I'm an idiot who doesn't take safety precautions? I'll have you know keeping Prince Louie alive isn't just your problem. Prince Louie is pretty serious about that too." He gestured to himself. "If you haven't noticed, I'm incognito today. I've got no crown, no mantle, no status whatsoever. And look at these ugly peasant threads," Louie pointed out, tugging at the hem of his dull green tunic. "It's actually kinda depressing how drab I look. I'm never gonna do this again actually. But! See how committed I am right now? Who's gonna recognize me? As we're all aware, I'm pretty well known for my pizzazz." "Just 'cause you stop being a prince doesn't mean danger stops existing." "No but it makes you way less of a target. Now, are you really gonna spend your whole day off bitching at me?"

The glare Ty shot him was petulant at best. "Well, I didn't wanna. But I got dragged along on this little adventure so guess I gotta." Louie pursed his beak, irritated. He did not drag Ty along anywhere.

"Come to think of it, I don't remember saying you had to follow me." Well, that came out as harsher than intended. Ty didn't seem hurt. At least, there was no sign that he was. No expression cracked his stone mask. "I've got a duty." Louie scoffed. Ty and his stupid duty. It was really starting to wear on his nerves. But not today, absolutely not today. On this fine, glorious day, Louie was intent on having fun. He would show up at this little forest shindig and he would drink and dance and schmooze and whatever else any carefree person at a party would do. He would forget about everything that was eating at him. He wasn't gonna let it consume him, he wasn't. He was gonna live. While he still could. His sixteenth birthday loomed closer. Six months left. "Sorry." Said Ty, unprompted. The shadows festering in Louie's head cleared out as he snapped back to the present. Ty had his eyes firmly downcast, a noticeable slump to his posture. "It's not like I wanna be running around killing the fun all the time. I really don't. But I gotta." Louie said nothing. His eyebrows rose in quiet astonishment as he studied Ty's side profile. He remembered when Ty first came into his life. Twelve years old, brandishing a sword too big for his body and grinning lopsidedly in an unmistakably trouble seeking sorta way. A real firecracker of a boy, loud and bright. Hungry for adventure and excited to throw himself head first into the action. He remembered one of Ty's earliest and most confident statements. When he lowered himself to bow to Louie in his uncle's throne room and declared that the prince would never fear for his life again. Because Ty would protect him and Ty was fearless. Louie believed him. Make no mistake, Ty had plenty of bite back then too. He had disliked Louie and the feeling had been mutual. But he never doubted that Ty had spoken the truth with his entire heart. Ty was fearless. When Louie was with Ty, he was safe. He believed that and he always had. Despite how they clicked as well as a dagger and a keyhole. Despite Ty being annoying. So annoying. He was still annoying. But it was different now. Louie couldn't pinpoint when that permanent glowing smile of his had dwindled and a thin frown had become Ty's default expression. His sword, something he always used to proudly haul around over his shoulder, now unceremoniously sheathed against his belt. Although Louie had noticed that his right hand never strayed too far from the hilt. Protecting royalty with your entire being was an all-consuming duty and it seemed, at some point, the reality of such an allegiance had slapped Ty across the face. He had this distinct way of holding himself now. Always stood straight and rigid, coiled up with agitation. He was prepared to fight at a moment's notice but it was clear the thrill of doing so had been long since drained out of him. He still smiled. He still laughed. But only sometimes. Ty was annoying because he was paranoid. Because he was snarky. Because he was too stiff, too protective. And man, what Louie wouldn't give to have Ty's former brand of annoying back. At least never made him feel sorry for the guy. "Can I ask you a favor?" Louie finally spoke, pushing back a drooping tree branch so they could walk below it "You can try." Ty shrugged, his gaze still fixed ahead. "What if we just turn off this whole 'Prince and Retainer' thing today. Whadd'ya think?" He turned to him blankly, complete with a slight tilt of the head that made Louie a tiny bit weak. "Wha....?" Ty was simply not computing. He looked as though Louie was throwing out algebra equations and he was supposed to solve them right on the spot. And he was not a math guy by any means. The cute clueless expression was making it a little hard to focus. Louie swallowed. "Listen." He began, his thumb dragging itself across his sweaty palm as he struggled with how to phrase this. Louie had a way with words, always had. But he had a tendency to trip over his own tongue when Ty was involved. Especially when Ty was staring at him with his soft cande-light eyes and doing that stupid adorable head tilting thing and-- "You need a break." Louie blurted out. "You're stressed like constantly and it's getting kinda insufferable and I think your Dad would sick a dragon on me if his barely fifteen year old son suddenly kicked it 'cause of a paranoia overload so I think you should just forget about being my big strong hero for today and come hang out with me at this stupid peasant party and we can just be two regular kids instead of a royal and his bodyguard do you think you could give me that Tiberius?" It was only in the following beat of silence that Louie realized how fast he spat that all out. He struggled to catch his breath. One second. Ty blinked. Two seconds. A flicker of vacant eyes and then a rush of realization. And then disbelief. And then-- Three seconds. His brow scrunched together and a snarl crinkled his muzzle. His eyes flared. Oh, he was mad.... "Are you crazy?!" Ty shouted. He was beside himself with a malfunctioning mix of fury and incredulity that had him stammering his words. "You-You can't just--.....D-do you even-- you don't...do you realize how disrespectful that is? For you to say it? For-For me to do it?! I was given this duty by the King! The fucking King! To just suddenly "turn it off" would be--....I can't--!" Maybe "mad" was an understatement. "Ty--" Louie tried. He was cutting across Louie, treading back and forth on their forest path,. Not going further, not going back. Just walking to nowhere for the sake of being too scandalized to possibly stand still. Louie was attempting to get Ty's attention by grabbing his tunic but he kept shaking him off. "I'd be a disgrace! An embarrassment! I'm trusted by the royal family to keep--...to keep you safe! I-I can't just walk around with my liege like I'm on vacation and not be on guard! You don't even get it, you--" "Ty!" Louie said loudly."You wanna maybe listen for a sec?!" Frankly, he was surprised Ty halted his tirade. His eyes were blown wide, stunned and Louie wasn't quite sure why until he followed Ty's look, snapping down. Seems in his effort to get a hold of the guy, he had instinctively reached out and snatched Ty's wrist. They stood frozen for a moment, each set of eyes boring into the touch that tied them together. Louie's fingers began to uncurl. Then he decided no. His grip on Ty tightened with a purposeful squeeze. Ty met his gaze, looking....panicked? Confused? Didn't matter. He could besottedly dissect his unreadable facial expressions later. Louie inhaled, deciding to shoulder his dignity for just a second. No safety rails of snark this time. Ty might make fun of him for being sincere later but this was important. "Don't you miss being a kid with nothing to worry about?" Louie implored. "Because if we're being real, I don't think we're ever gonna get to live like that again." Ty muttered something to himself, shaking his head a little. "But listen," Louie continued, taking a step into Ty's personal bubble. Ty took an automatic step back. But since he was still holding his hand, Louie was led a step forward. It was difficult to tell with the pink fur but he could've sworn Ty reddened. "Look I know it's weird for me to be asking but....can't we just take a risk today? It's just a party in the woods. Literally the least likely place to find any danger in the whole kingdom." "We shouldn't--" "Ty, please." Honestly, Louie was a little surprised at himself. He hadn't even planned for Ty to accompany him anyway. But in the heat of the moment, everything had shifted upside-down. Turns out there was something inside him willing to beg. Something that wanted more than anything, for Ty come along. He just wanted a simple memory of just killing time with Ty. Separated from the castle and everything that reminded him of his fate. He would like to smile without a hint of dread for once this year. So, he said just that. "I'm not just trying to make you come along 'cause I'm stuck with you. That's not it." He swallowed. "You're--....you're cool. You're fun. I wanna have you around. You know, when you're not so worked up and you're just being yourself, I like hanging out with you." He tugged Ty's hand a little. Further from his sword and closer to Louie. "I want you to come with me. And I want you to try having fun too." He may as well just tell the idiot he thought about him every time he saw a sunset. The hand he was grasping flexed its fingers. Ty abruptly broke eye contact and glanced to the side, his tongue poking out to pierce the tip of his jagged tooth. His indecisive face. "I just--.....I dunno...." He muttered. "If something happened to you--" "Nothing's gonna happen to me." Said Louie immediately. "I've got a good feeling about this. And c'mon Ty, that coming from a coward?" "You're not a coward." He said, barely a whisper. He was now staring at the ground. "I promise." "Huh?" Louie smiled tightly as Ty looked to him questionably. "I promise nothing is gonna happen. I'm gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. Now, can you do me this favor and maybe, I dunno, trust me?" The look Ty gave him was a little sad, but it was soft. And then with only a tiny twitch, it shifted into something else entirely. It was trust. Blind trust. Maybe stupid trust. A minuscule pang of guilt jabbed at Louie. Of course he wanted Ty to trust him. He needed him to if there was any hope of achieving his goal here. But objectively, he really shouldn't. Louie was hiding way too much from him. It wasn't fair. Then Ty broke the world, shattered orbit and played around with reality itself by cracking a smile and Louie forgot every coherent thought he ever possessed. He would never put on record just how long he spent pre-preparing jokes, gunning to get the corner of Ty's lips to flick upwards. Made him seem kinda desperate. Which he was not. Ty had that oh, so stereotypical "cute boy" smile. It was crooked, cocky, it was utterly obnoxious. Louie hated it. And worst of all, it was like a little spell to kick Louie's heart into high speed. Sometimes it dazed and confused him like a blinding light flash. But other times, it was warm and if he stared long enough, he'd fall asleep. Louie loved Ty's smile. Every time he tried to convince himself he didn't, he ended up dwelling on it too much and the way his mouth would quirk up would play in his mind on a maddening loop and then it would be too much to handle and the truth that he loved it would always overpower him. So, whenever that happened (like right this second.) he gave up and admitted it. To himself, anyway. He loved Ty's smile. He loved Ty. ......Wait. That last part was new, hold up. Rewind. But he didn't get the chance because Ty was talking now. Still a little dazzled, Louie didn't catch what he said but he figured it was good since he was still smiling. And then that smile broke into a huge grin, his eyes flashed with trouble and his hands were on Louie's shoulders and-- "Race ya!" Ty cried. With a light push, Louie was stumbling backwards and Ty kicked off into a sprint. For a brief moment, Louie could only gaze after him, stupefied. Love, huh? Like the real deal? That was crazy. But then he snapped out of as he recalled the audacity of this bastard. "You just pushed your liege!" He shrieked, receiving a loud "WOO!" from Ty as a response. And then Louie was grinning. He was giddy. He didn't quite know if he forgot about love in that instance or if it was the force powering him but he was tearing off after Ty, yelling about the latter's totally unfair head start. In hindsight, he should've figured it was love a long time ago. Who else would get him to run for no reason?

#ty cloudkicker #fairytale au

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justletmeplayminecraft · 4 years

Text

the three stages of impulse making friends

set in the magic misfits au collated by @haworthiaace! the origin story of how team zt adds the ‘i’. tango has a curse, zed is an elf, and impulse is a demon. could i make it anymore obvious? (yes. absolutely.)

featuring: the least conventional way to make friends, selling your soul is not a decision to take lightly, friends who will Literally die for each other, tango is ferocious when it comes to protecting zed, there’s a fair amount of work to get to a happy conclusion, but the three of ‘em manage it, impulse deserves the world, so does zed, tango... he’s on thin ice.

warnings: life or death situations, using your own blood in rituals, so kinda self harm?, conflict between characters, tango threatens impulse, they resolve things, but here’s certainly some angst before they all become friends, also it’s implied impulse didn’t have the best time as a demon, he has a breakdown, he’s soft ok, they’re making the best out of a terrible situation..

also posted on ao3, link in the replies

1. When Zedaph summons him

Zedaph steps back from the summoning circle, the charcoal staining his hand black as he puts it down. He checks every symbol twice against his book. The required items are around the edge, candles lit with his face pinched in focus. A glance down the hall confirms that Tango's bedroom door is still shut tight. There shouldn't be any interruptions. A good job too, because Zedaph's not looking forward to explaining this one.

He picks up his knife, taking a steadying breath. Zed's never really been one for blood. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't be doing this. But it's Tango. Zedaph can't lose him, no matter the cost. He presses the blade across his palm, slicing just enough for blood to bubble to the surface. He holds his hand out, droplets falling onto the intricate circles.

The symbols he spent so long drawing illuminate in a bright glow, activating like redstone. He gasps as the magic in the room whips his hair. Something tears into existence in the centre. Zedaph takes a step back from the pure magical essence.

The demon springs up in front of him. Bright yellow eyes meet his purple, and Zedaph takes in the demon they belong to. He's surprised, actually. He expected something more demonic. Not that the demon isn't demonic, of course. He has big black horns that Zed could probably spike himself on and a tail that's flicking behind him as he examines Zed. But his face is human, with pale skin and a curious expression. Zedaph thinks his dark hair might even be fluffy. And a t-shirt and jeans? Well, he's hovering sightly too, but-

"You summoned me?" The demon's voice is... Nice, actually. It's friendly, like melted chocolate. Sharp teeth show as he speaks. Zedaph nods, fiddling with his sleeves.

"I did." He tries to keep some confidence in his voice. "I want to make a deal." The demon nods, crossing his arms and sitting back slightly. It's strange seeing someone float in midair like that.

"That's what most people do. You get what your heart desires, I get your soul." Zedaph nods, dropping his eyes down to the floor. He hypes himself up, needing the confidence to commit to this. For Tango. For his best friend.

"My friend's cursed," Zedaph explains. "I want you to save him. In exchange for my soul." The demon tilts his head.

"A curse?" He sounds curious.

"We- we were messing around and upset a witch and-"

"A witch?" Zedaph tucks his arms against his chest. He nods. "I- I can't undo a witch's curse." Zedaph's heart stops.

"No!" He looks up at the demon, stepping close to the barrier circle. "You have to help him, I can't lose him. You don't understand." The demon has opened up in surprise, holding his hands out. He stares at Zed with an open mouth, yellow eyes unmoving.

"Um-" the demon glances away, "I might be able to halt the curse?" Zed jumps onto his tiptoes. "I can't remove it completely but I can lessen its effects and prevent it from spreading. Would that be sufficient for a deal?"

"He won’t get worse?" Zedaph checks.

"He won't get worse." The demon nods. Zedaph returns the gesture, determination returning.

"Then I'll do it. You can have my soul in exchange for that." The demon leans forward, holding out his hand.

"It's a deal, then." Zedaph nods. He steps carefully over the protective ring, clapping his hand into the demon's.

"It's a deal." Zed's grip on the demon's hand tightens, a choked noise escaping him as his chest erupts in pain. The demon pulls him close, his other hand resting on Zedaph's chest.

"Sorry about this part." Something is tearing, ripping at his skin. Zedaph would scream but he can't draw enough air into his lungs. For a second, everything falls away. When he opens his eyes again, he's on the cold floor. The demon has a hand on his shoulder, his other hand holding up something swirling, glowing a radiant purple. Zed can't take his eyes off it. "Are you okay?"

Zedaph nods, "Is it done? Will Tango be alright?"

"Yeah. The deal's done." Zedaph jumps up, leaping onto the demon and wrapping his arms around him tight. The demon falls back slightly, one hand wrapping around Zedaph's back with robotic movements.

"Thank you," Zedaph mumbles, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much, thank you."

"Uh." The demon sounds genuinely confused. "You're welcome?" Zedaph climbs down, realising this is supposed to be a business transaction. He steps back over the circles.

"Sorry I just- you don't know how much this means for me." The demon shrugs. He claps his hands together and that ball of glowing light vanishes.

"It's part of the deal." The demon shrugs. It's like he's trying to come off cool and collected, but he still seems twitchy, a bit nervous. "Will that be all?"

"That'll be all." Zedaph makes sure to keep his next words powerful and concise. "You may go back to your dimension." The demon nods. He bows slightly.

"Pleasure doing business with you." With that, the air twists once more, and the demon vanishes. Zedaph breathes out, placing a hand on his chest. It doesn't hurt anymore. He doesn't feel any different. He was willing to sacrifice far worse for Tango's safety. This is... He feels like he's gotten off quite lightly.

Well, except Tango's wrath. He's just about cleaned up the room when he hears a door slam open.

"What did you do?" Tango demands, storming up to Zedaph. He grabs Zed's shoulders and holds him in place in front of him. Zedaph shrinks down.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean-"

"Cut the bull, Zed!" Tango glares at him. Zedaph looks into his eyes, the solid redstone. It twinkles when the light catches it, like little stars. "You did something, because I can see again, and that didn't happen on its own."

"You can see again?" Zedaph asks, quiet. He squeaks when Tango pulls him closer.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Zedaph!" Zedaph curls away at the anger in Tango's voice, even if it's born from worry. Tango's grip holds him in place.

"I may have summoned a demon," Zedaph mumbles it, hoping Tango won't hear.

"You summoned a demon?" Tango exclaims, echoing off the walls. Zedaph takes a breath, his expression shifting as he glares at him. Tango lets go, stepping backwards with surprise.

"It's the only thing I could think of that would be more powerful than a witch's curse!" Zedaph cries, his voice high. "And it was, it worked! He stopped it!" Zedaph holds his hands out to Tango, before waving them down his body, "And I'm fine! No different! I don't think anything's changed."

"Zedaph-" Tango takes a further step back, dragging his hands down his face, "-Please tell me you didn't sell your soul." Zedaph doesn't answer. Tango groans, frustrated. "You need to undo this, you can't just-"

"I'm not going to sit here and do nothing whilst you fade away! Not when I can stop it!" He places his hands over his heart. "And I feel fine, so clearly my soul isn't that important. So just drop it, and things can go back to normal."

"This isn't-"

"I'm not changing my mind." Zedaph pokes his finger into Tango's chest. "I refuse to watch you die, Tango!" They both stare at each other, Zed focused intensely, shoulders rising and falling with his heavy breaths.

"And you don't feel anything?" Tango asks. His voice has turned softer. Zed doesn't fight when Tango rests his hand against Zed's freckled cheek. In fact, he leans into it, all of his fight draining in an instant. "You don't feel worse? No pain?" Zed shakes his head.

"I feel fine," he confirms, squeezing the hand on his cheek with his own. "I promise you. It- it hurt when he took it, but I'm okay now. I don't feel it." Tango sighs.

"Zed, you're an idiot." Zedaph laughs. He pulls Tango's hand down, squeezing it between both of his.

"So are you," Zed replies. "It's a good job we've got each other, huh?"

Tango shakes his head, "I wouldn't want it any other way."

2. When Tango summons him

Tango doesn't know how it took so long for him to realise. It's basic common sense: you can't just sell your soul without consequences. Maybe he was a bit caught up in being able to see again and not having to prepare for his impending demise that he didn't fully consider it. Zed seemed fine. He was fine. For a little while, at least.

It happened slowly. It was first in how Zed spoke. Where his hands would usually wave around in a language of their own, he was still. He stopped coming up with ideas. He yawned, slept straight through afternoons. Then his skin became paler. His ears began to droop. He wouldn't get out of bed until Tango encouraged him. Now, Tango's barely able to get him to eat. He sighs, rubbing his fingers through blond locks. Zed managed some mushroom stew before dozing off, curled up as if he's freezing despite the blankets piled on him. His skin is cold against Tango's hand.

Tango stands, leaving the room without a sound. He's had a lot of time to plan this, with Zed asleep so much. He enters the side room, the summoning circle already set up. It's been a few nights researching, making sure everything's correct. The knife handle is cool as he twirls it in his hand. Hopefully, his cursed soul is still enough to cast this.

He makes a cut across his thumb, letting blood drip down onto the circles. It lights up, the air swirling around the room as Tango stands resolute. Despite all his preparation, he's still a bit surprised it's worked. He doesn't move an inch as the demon appears in front of him. Bright yellow eyes stare into his, black horns like a crown over his head. Tango skips over the surprisingly human features. The pale skin, the fluffy hair.

"You made a deal with my friend," Tango speaks first, crossing his arms over his chest. "Blond elf, purple eyes. Pointy ears." The demon's eyes widen.

"Oh," he says. His voice is smooth and- not very demonic. Tango steels himself. "You're his cursed friend."

"Yeah," Tango replies. "You need to undo that deal." The demon tilts his head.

"Undo it?" He questions. "You realise your curse would continue, right?"

"I'm aware." Tango stares straight into his eyes. The demon shuffles a little. "You need to undo it."

"Okay but you're missing one detail," the demon tells him, mirroring Tango's crossed arms. His tail flicks behind him.

"And what's that?" Tango asks.

"You didn't make the deal." The demon shrugs, his hand up. "Only the person who made the deal can void it. And it feels like he doesn't want to." The demon looks smug, like he's caught Tango out. Tango didn't do all of this research for nothing.

"How about this," Tango starts, reaching for the spellbook he stole from Zed. "I use a binding spell," he continues, holding it up, taking care with the worn pages. If demons could feel fear, maybe it would be there in the way his eyes widen and his tail stills. "And I bind you into my service until Zed agrees to undo the deal."

"That's... A little unreasonable." The demon sounds nervous. Tango grins.

"More unreasonable than the fact my best friend is currently so tired he can barely move?" He demands, stepping forward but careful not to go over the outer circle.

"Hey." The demon holds his hands up. "He sold his soul to me willingly. He knew the consequences."

Tango scoffs, "No he didn't! He had no idea what would happen. You took advantage of him." Tango pokes his finger against the barrier. "So I'm going to take advantage of you right back." The demon shrinks away.

"Okay, okay." He slowly lowers his hands as if Tango will calm down because a demon tells him to. "How about, instead, I give you a month to get your friend to void the deal. I will stay here, no binding spell required. If he doesn't change his mind after that, I'm free to go."

"And if you leave before the month is up, I get to summon you back, bind you to me, and leave you in a salt circle to rot." Tango smirks when the demon flinches. "Sounds like a deal to me."

"Um, uh-" The demon shifts their weight around, not quite making eye contact.

"Or, I go back to my first plan." Tango draws the word out as he flicks through the book. The demon huffs.

"Fine," he declares. "I accept your terms. If I leave before the month is up you can summon me back and bind me into your service." Tango snaps the book shut.

"Then the deal is made." He can feel a ripple of magic at the statement. Nothing strong, Tango's not particularly magically inclined. Hell, it's probably the demon's own magic working against him. But it's enough to make this work. To give Zed a chance to undo this mistake. Tango steps forward, breaking the outer protective circle with his toe. "Well?" Tango holds his hand out, "Are you coming?" The demon steps forward, hesitantly leaving the circles.

"Um," the demon glances back at the smudged charcoal. "I'm not sure how this works."

Tango shrugs, "I'm not happy about it, but I guess you're living here." The demon is looking at the floor, following Tango with light steps.

"Okay." Those yellow eyes glance down a corridor. "Um, yeah. Alright." Tango sighs, looking at the awkward being. Aren't demons supposed to be scary? Or is this one trying to lower Tango's guard?

"Name's Tango," he offers, in an attempt at a truce.

"You're just going to give me it?" The demon sounds concerned.

"I'm not giving it to you," Tango replies, refusing to expand further. "What's yours?"

"Oh." The demon's tail flicks at him. "Impulse. My name's Impulse." Tango nods. He pauses at the door to Zed's room, resting a hand on the wood.

"His name's Zedaph," Tango tells him. "He's... Probably not going to be happy that I've done this behind his back. But he's- don't expect much from him. He's already so bad." Tango can't help how heavy his voice grows as he continues, the weight piling on his shoulders. Impulse nods. If Tango didn't know better, he'd say he looks guilty.

He pushes the door open. Zedaph is still buried in a blanket pile. Tango can just see a hint of pale, freckled skin, peeking out from under messy hair. He hasn't moved an inch. Impulse stills in the doorway, staring at him. Tango turns, giving him a dead look.

"What, you feel guilty now?" Impulse focuses back into his folded arms. His tail wraps around him like a pathetic shield.

"I don't- I don't like this part. I don't usually see it."

"Well-" Tango holds his hand out, mock-bowing. "-Enjoy what you've caused." He sits on the bed beside Zedaph, scratching under his chin. Impulse inches forward. "Hey, Zed, buddy." Zedaph mumbles, rolling into Tango's touch. "Come on. Can you open your eyes for me? Sit up a bit?" Zedaph whines, but he shuffles around. Then, with a bit of effort, he pushes himself up, falling against Tango's side. It's more than he's managed for days.

Zedaph opens his eyes, sees Impulse and squeaks, "Tango?"

"He's fine." Tango gestures Impulse closer. The demon still hovers apart from them, trying to tuck into the corner of the room. "He's here because you need to undo your deal." Zed's eyes narrow, the purple glinting in the light.

"I'm not doing that," Zedaph says, with no room for movement. Tango refuses to listen.

"I don't think you realise how much it's hurting me seeing you fade away like this." Tango tries not to raise his voice. "I don't want to see you suffer."

"So you want me to do the same thing?" Zedaph asks, sitting away from Tango. "You- you want me to watch this curse claim you? And do nothing?"

"It's my curse. You shouldn't get to make this choice for me."

"And it's my fault you got it!" Zedaph's voice has raised, fingers bunching up in the blankets.

"You've got so much more life in front of you-"

"And I've already lived so much of it-"

"You're being selfish, Zedaph." Zed flinches back.

"Fine then. I'm being selfish. What are you going to do about it?" Tango halts at that, not sure what to respond. He wasn't- he wasn't expecting Zedaph to do that.

"Uh-" Both heads turn as Impulse speaks. He curls into himself. "Should I leave? Go to another room or something?" He's pressed himself against one of the walls.

"Go back to your dimension," Zedaph orders. "I'm not changing my mind." Impulse sinks downwards.

"I- uh. I'm here for a month. That's what we agreed on." Zedaph spins back to Tango with fury in his eyes. Tango answers before he gets the chance to talk.

"We made a deal. One I came out on top of. He's not going anywhere." Zedaph presses his hands into his cheeks before waving them outwards.

"You can't just keep him prisoner here!" Tango scoffs. If only Zed knew about the alternative. Maybe it would've angered him enough to void this whole thing. He might have lost his friend, but Zedaph would be able to keep on living.

"He's basically our roommate for a month." Zedaph groans. He holds his hands by his head, mouth opening and closing before he manages to find words.

"I don't even know what a demon eats!" He cries. Tango squawks.

"That's what you're worried about?" Zed crosses his arms, swinging his legs out of bed. He takes a few steps towards Impulse, turning his chin up as he pouts. Tango blinks, something in his head finally clicking.

"Yes, because I'm going to be a good housemate unlike-" Tango holds his hands up.

"Wait, wait, wait, Zed." Zedaph pauses mid-rant, face shifting to confusion. It's mimicked on Impulse. "You're out of bed. Willingly." Zedaph looks down at himself, running his fingers through his hair.

"I- I am," he murmurs, like acknowledging it will break this illusion. "I'm- I don't feel tired. I-" Zedaph looks at Impulse, his eyes widening as he takes a stumbled step back. Impulse holds his hands up, shaking his head quickly.

"I haven't done anything!"

"Then- but you're the only thing that's changed." Impulse squints, clearly thinking before he gasps.

"I still have your soul," he whispers.

"You just carry that around?" Tango asks. He can't force himself to sound angry. He keeps looking at Zed like a miracle has happened.

"I hadn't turned it in yet," Impulse explains, looking like he's solving a puzzle in his head. "Being close to it must mean that it's connecting to you again. Like you still have it." Zedaph bites at his lip, fiddling with the end of his sleeves. Tango really needs to get him into some new clothes. And in the shower.

"And you're only here for a month?" Zed asks. Impulse nods. Tango wishes he could follow the conflict that crosses Zed's face. Understand how he's feeling. Whatever the result is, he stands taller, grinning. "That's a month more than I had before." Trust Zedaph and his overly optimistic attitude. "Right, out of my room. I want to change."

"You're sure that won't-"

"If I'm not out in like an hour come and check on me." Zedaph jumps on the spot, leaping to his drawers. "I've got so much I need to do!" Impulse looks at Tango. He nods.

They leave Zedaph to pick out clothes, even if Tango has to watch him for just a moment first to convince himself this is real. He closes the door after him. Impulse is waiting on the other side. He's... Small. But his face is determined.

"This doesn't change the terms of our deal," he tells Tango. "One month, then I'm free to go." Tango sighs. After all that prep too. He should've just bound the damn demon. At least then he would've got something cool out of this. But-

"Of course," he agrees. Twisting to see Zedaph's door, he shrugs. "Worst case, at least I get to spend another month with my best friend." Impulse's expression is much tighter when Tango turns back. "I'll show you around. You can use the guest room."

"Thank you." Impulse keeps a step between them as he follows Tango. "I'm sorry about this."

"I'd say it's not your fault, but-" Tango's not exactly feeling sympathy here.

"I didn't ask to be born a demon." It's the closest thing Tango's heard to anger from him so far. "We have a quota to fill, and I don't want to fail it again. This is already going to-" He waves his hands. "Sorry, you don't need to hear about all that. Give me the tour." Tango nods, continuing to lead him through the base.

If he's honest, he's not too sure what his plan is anymore.

3. When Impulse decided to stay

Demons don't hang around humans. Especially not ones they've taken souls from. It's one of the first rules, for goodness sake. Don't get attached. You have to think business first, don't start considering the consequences. Mortals are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. There's so many of them, a few souls don't change anything. They're all pretty much the same, greedy lot anyway.

It turns out, Impulse is struggling with all of that.

He's never spent time around mortals before. When the elf, Zedaph, he now knows, first summoned him, he fulfilled the deal, pushed down his guilt, and continued with his life. Then the cursed human summoned him, threatened him with one of his worst fears, and somehow negotiated it into the current situation. Living with them for a month.

He's so out of his depth.

Zedaph seems to gravitate around him naturally. Impulse is pretty sure it's because he has his soul. He's still trying to get used to the feeling being around Zedaph gives him. Warmth, like he's stood out in the sun (a feeling he can properly experience now), mixed with a singing joy. Zedaph's soul is beautiful. It might even make up for Impulse losing a month of work if he handed it in. The downside is it's so beautiful because of the person it belongs to.

Zedaph is funny. He's creative and never seems to stand still. There's a calendar on the wall with the month marked out, filled with all the things he wants to achieve. The elf is facing his impending death and he's going there grinning. Even worse, Impulse is beginning to enjoy being dragged around by the blond. He likes hearing what strange idea he's come up with, helping him build a farm or plot a prank. If it were any other situation, Impulse would like to be friends with him. But friends don't take each other's souls.

Tango, the cursed human who has an aura of Impulse's magic, is understandably standoffish. Impulse would say he feels the same, but if he's honest, he finds the human scary. First impressions count and Tango is willing to do anything for Zedaph. Even if that means imprisoning Impulse like he's some kind of object. Impulse is all too aware of it. They have a begrudging truce between them.

So Impulse tries not to let it sting when he sees how much Tango cares for Zedaph. Those quiet moments between the two of them, Tango brushing Zedaph's hair back whilst the elf sleeps, cooking each other's favourite meals, how he'll watch Zedaph when he isn't paying attention with a sad look in his eyes. Impulse wants somebody to care for him that way. Even worse, he's going to be the reason they're torn apart.

"Impulse!" Zedaph calls through the house, interrupting Impulse's thoughts. He doesn't move, curled up half-asleep on the sofa. Rushed footsteps come to a halt with a scrape. "Oh. He's asleep."

"Still surprises me that demons can." Tango's tone is drier. Impulse wills himself to stay still. Zedaph huffs, a sound he's becoming all too familiar with. The two seem to argue a lot at the moment. It doesn't appear to affect their friendship, but Impulse can feel the strain the situation is putting on them.

"Can you stop treating him like he's some kind of object already?" Zedaph sounds frustrated. Tango sighs.

"Zed, he's a demon. They're not good creatures." A quick thud.

"He's called Impulse, and I think you're being biased." The footsteps come closer. Impulse nearly jumps when a hand rubs through his hair. He reminds himself to breathe. "He's done nothing against us. I was the one who summoned him for the deal. Begged him, even. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I think you need to reconsider your attitude." The drawn-out silence from Tango is telling.

"Fine," he finally answers. "But don't expect me to be happy about it."

Zedaph answers without pause, "I'm not." The hand brushes against his horn before withdrawing. "Did you see him when we went out to the park? It was like he'd never seen the sun before. And the ideas he comes up with. You'd love them if you ever bothered to listen." Zedaph sighs, moving away. "If things were different, I'd like to think we'd be friends."

"Yeah," Tango's voice is flat. "Unfortunately, they're not."

They aren't. But Impulse can't deny things change after that. He's sat at the table, sketching out plans for a redstone farm he'd never get to make with a book on it open beside him. Tango sits in the chair next to him. He asks what he's working on. Impulse answers. From this emerges a day-long project that they both work on, until they have a working farm and Zedaph is hugging both of them and proclaiming how cool it is.

Impulse doesn't think it's the 'if things were different' they were expecting, but it does the job.

They're two weeks in and Tango asks, "So how does your human form even work, then?" Impulse is reading a cookbook, but he places it on his chest. Zed has poked his head up from his sketches too.

"My disguise?" Impulse asks, waving his hand as he draws on it. The two have seen him use it a few times now. They seem to insist on dragging Impulse with them everywhere. Even if it's the shops.

"Yeah, like, where do your horns and tail even go, dude?" Tango points up at the now absent horns. "Are they still there? Could we bump them or?"

"It's kinda a mixture of magic," Impulse explains. "My eyes and teeth are just simple illusion magic. The horns and tail are a bit more complicated. They're still there, but not in this plane of existence. So like, just shuffled into a different one so most people can't see or touch them." Zedaph nods.

"I've heard about that," he says, turning to Tango as he explains. "It was used as a form of banishment within magical communities. They'd force you into a different plane, so you're still there but you can't interact with anything, and nobody can see you." Zedaph shakes his head at the thought, raising his shoulders in defence. "I'm glad people realise how cruel that is now."

"It's what a lot of demons use when asked to make things disappear," Impulse tells them. "The shift between planes is like second nature for us."

"So you could see things on different planes of existence?" Tango asks.

"If I wanted," Impulse answers honestly. There's no reason not to. "I don't often, though. A lot of things are hiding in those. They don't like being found."

Tango laughs, "How ominous."

"And pretty cool," Zedaph adds. It's the first time someone's called Impulse's powers 'cool'. He's surprised by the warmth it gives him.

They reach the third week. Impulse would've never said it before, but time feels like it's moving too fast. He doesn't want this month to end. He doesn't want to go back to being pushed around by other demons, spending all his time working to avoid punishment. How is he supposed to go back to taking souls knowing these are the people he could be taking them from?

The hushed conversation he caught between Tango and Zedaph keeps replaying in his mind.

"I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either. But one of us is going to die. Even getting another month with you- that's enough for me."

At the start of the fourth week, Impulse has a complete breakdown. He shuts himself in the guest bedroom, sitting against the corner and cries like he hasn't since he was a newly born. He's not made for these kinds of moral decisions. He's been dragged into this and now it's all his fault. He's going to be the reason that the light fades from Zedaph until he's an empty shell. Why a friendship so strong is shattered. Why they both talk in gentle comforts at night as they face the inevitable.

His tears soak into the blanket beneath him, staining it black. The crying doesn't help. It doesn't solve anything. But if he has to stay in this situation without doing something he'd explode. Maybe this is his explosion. A fizzle into the night.

"Impy?" He bolts upright at Zedaph's voice, accompanied with a quiet knock.

"Yeah?" His voice cracks. He's pathetic. Clothing scrapes against the wood.

"Can I come in?" Impulse swallows, fists bunching up soft fabric. He releases one to wipe his eyes.

"Yeah- yeah, okay." The door opens, revealing the elf behind it. His ears droop as he sees Impulse and he's by his bed before the door manages to shut behind him.

"Oh, Impulse." Zedaph wraps his arms around him, pulling Impulse against his shoulder. Impulse has enough thought to vanish his horns, too afraid of scraping Zedaph by accident. "What's wrong? Please talk to me." Impulse shakes his head. Zedaph sighs, cradling him close. Impulse embraces the feeling of warm arms around him, how Zedaph's soul sings at their proximity. Zedaph simply holds him as Impulse cries, and that's all Impulse needs. And it's that realisation that has him speaking in an unsteady voice.

"I don't want to go back." Zedaph shuffles Impulse away to see his face, using his own sleeve to rub Impulse's damp cheeks.

"Go back to what, Imp?" Impulse looks into those bright purple eyes, filled with concern.

"What I was before." Being alone, he doesn't say. "I don't want to keep taking people's souls. I'm so tired of feeling like I won't be enough. I like this. I like it here." Zedaph tilts his head, one of his hands sliding down Impulse's arm.

"Do you have to go back?" Zedaph asks. Impulse pauses at the thought.

"I- I don't really know. I don't know what might happen if I don't go back." He really doesn't. Would the other demons even notice? Would they come after him? He has no idea. He's never heard of a demon... Leaving, before.

"Well, why don't you just stay here?" Zedaph asks. Impulse sits back, his brows drawing together in confusion.

"Stay here? But-"

"No buts!" Zedaph interrupts. "It's nice having you around and it's not like anybody else uses this room. What was the wording of your deal?"

"I stay here for a month for Tango to convince you to void the deal. If you don't change your mind by the end of the month, I'm free to go. If I leave before the month is up, Tango can summon me back and bind me into his service." He recites the deal automatically, eyes closing as he does. Every deal he's made is slotted away in his head somewhere, though this one is certainly closer to the front. When he opens his eyes again, he can see a hint of anger on Zedaph's face.

"I'm talking to him about that last bit," Zedaph mutters, before the anger leaves as quickly as it came. "But, it's right there in the deal. You're free to leave, not that you have to. You can stay if you wanted." Zedaph holds his hand up, moving it as he speaks. "And I'm not just saying that because you have my soul. I've made peace with my fate. I'm saying it because I've grown to think of you as a friend, and I like to see my friends happy."

"You've known me for three weeks."

"I've made friends in less time than that." Actually, Impulse doesn't doubt it. "You still have a week to go. Think about it, okay?" Impulse nods, relishing the smile that brings to Zedaph's face. "Good. Now c'mere." Zedaph pulls Impulse back into his arms. Impulse laughs, closing his eyes.

He certainly hears when Zedaph talks to Tango about it. He goes to bed early, meditating until he can't hear them anymore. They must make up after because they're fine the next time he sees them. Even if Tango shows more than a hint of guilt when he looks Impulse's way.

It takes another day until Tango brings it up. The two of them are sat at the same table they bonded over redstone.

"I'm sorry." Impulse looks up from his book, frowning.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Impulse. For threatening you and blackmailing you into this. It was wrong of me and you're a really cool dude. You didn't deserve that treatment."

"Thank you?" Impulse rests a finger on his page. "Did Zedaph put you up to this?" Tango sighs, sinking onto his palm.

"He strongly suggested I should, but no. I'm doing this because I was an ass, and I'm not going to ignore that anymore." Impulse smiles slightly.

"Just a bit," he replies. Tango seems surprised, and Impulse realises he's not really been playful with them before. Then Tango breaks into a grin.

"You know, I was going to say I wouldn't mind you sticking around. I take it all back now." Then, as if detecting Impulse's worry, he quickly adds, "That's a joke, by the way. I'd love it if you stuck around. Just like I know Zed would, because he hasn't shut up about it these past few days."

"He hasn't?" Impulse asks.

"Nope. He's super excited at the idea of a new roomie. We don't mind what you choose either way. I know I've treated you pretty badly. But, yeah. We'd both be happy if you stayed." Impulse nods. But he gives the same answer as he did to Zedaph.

"I'll think about it."

He does. He really really does. It's all he can think about as the days move far too fast until they reach the evening the deal comes to an end. Impulse can feel the magic buzzing in the air. He thinks the other two can as well. Zedaph is fairly attuned to magic, though he admits it's easier when Impulse is close by. Whereas Tango is involved in the deal. The air is thick with the stuff. Magic. Magic and tension.

They cook together that evening. The food here is far better than what's in his dimension. Zedaph and Tango have two very different styles of cooking that seem to blend somewhere in the middle. Impulse wishes he knew how to cook better, but he's happy learning from them. They seem to enjoy teaching him, too, if Zedaph's bouncing is anything to go by. All cooked, they settle by the fire, plates balanced on their laps. Zedaph has burrowed under a blanket.

Impulse can't look at either of them when he asks, "You really wouldn't mind if I stayed?" He can feel them watching him.

"No, why would we?" Zedaph leans forward, nearly straight into his food. "You've been a better housemate then Tango is."

"Hey!" Impulse looks up to see Tango crossing his arms.

"He does the washing up," Zedaph replies.

"So do I!"

"Once I bully you into it."

Impulse smiles, "You really mean it?"

"We're more than happy for you to live with us. Hey, we'll put you on the deed for the house if that's what it takes." Tango leans on the arm of his chair towards him.

"Yeah. I think that'd be nice," Impulse can't help but tease a bit.

"Do we even have the documents for this place?" Zedaph asks.

"I have no idea." Tango shrugs. "But Impulse is living with us either way now."

"And he's adopting your sense of humour." Zedaph sighs, falling over the back of the sofa, an arm over his forehead. "Outnumbered in my own home."

"Our home." Tango smiles at Impulse.

"Yep," Impulse agrees. "Our home now."

It's not until later that night, as they head to their rooms, that Zedaph wraps his arms around Impulse just like he did the first time he summoned him. This time, Impulse hugs him back just as tight.

"You know, if I could still cry, I probably would," Tango tells him. He wraps his arms around them both.

"That's 'cause you're a sap," Zedaph murmurs from Impulse's hair as if he isn't crying himself.

"Only for my friends," Tango replies. Impulse laughs, ready to start crying too.

"Yeah." He tugs the two closer. "Wow, I’ve made friends."

"You're stuck with us," Zedaph tells him brightly.

"Not literally," Tango amends.

Impulse shakes his head, his smile hurting his jaw, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

They wake up in the morning in the same house. The world doesn't end. Nobody's bashing at their door.

Impulse stays with his friends.

#hermitcraft #zedaph #tango #tangotek #impulsesv #impulse #my writing #magic misfits au #i absolutely adore writing team zit #and throwing ideas around with other ppl is so much fun #even if my contributions are just #slapping the table like have u considered angst

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thepaperpanda · 4 years

Text

Late Night Visit || Joel x Reader Smut

Summary: Joel pays you a visit late at nigh while seeking for a shelter.

Warnings: Smut

Words: 3340

Authors: Cass & Rouge

Area 4. Boston zone.

Night there was quiet and calm as much as it could be with all the soldiers patrolling the streets.

It was way past the curfew so there were two options.

One was to sit in one place like an idiot and not get spotted by the military, or second - to find a safe place to spend the rest of the night.

Joel groaned deeply annoyed, rubbing his face. He was on his way back from another smuggler job and he was stuck. Fucking pissed, dirty, beaten up and tired. He really wasn't in a mood to deal with this now and there was still long way to his flat.

Joel thought of what to do and he got one idea - not the best one but surely working for his favor.

So there he was, trying his best to get to one of the buildings without getting spotted. Somehow he entered and now he stood in front of your door.

You were his old friend. He worked with you few times and apparently you liked him much enough that you offered him help whenever he will needed it. Joel looked around and hoped that whoever else lived there had a deep sleep and you aren't asleep yet. Letting out a deep sigh, he knocked at your door using his fist, just to be sure you hear him.

You were awakened by knocking to your door. Lazily, you opened eyes and yawned. Rolling on your side, you reached to a nightstand to pick a watch up. 1:17. "Fuck," you murmured unhappily, yet you got up slowly.

You had a silky, pink nightgown on, an old one actually, but the only that was still in a good state. It was maybe too loose now as you have lost a pound or two, but you still like your reflection in a mirror with this one on.

You hair, loosened, were messy, so you ran fingers through them in an attempt to brush them a little.

Hesitantly, you left bedroom, walked along the corridor and stood in front of the main door. "Who's there?," You asked, raising voice a little.

"Maybe don't raise your voice, girl. It's enough I risk my ass being here. Open the door, it's me, Joel," he muttered, looking around still being careful to not draw too much attention to both of you. "It would be nice if you hurry up, it's curfew time. Unless something has changed and I don't know."

You blinked as soon as you heard his voice. You clenched hands in fists; you felt how anger started rising within you.

After moment of hesitation, you opened the door for him, yet didn't move aside to let him in. You measured him with a cold glance. "Joel. How long has it been?"

Joel was getting more and more annoyed just by waiting for you to open the damn door. Last thing he really needed was your mood swing, but it was who you were. He already got used to it after working with you. "Long and don't give me that look. I have enough of everything and I just use the invitation you had gave me," Joel explained with a frown.

With a roll of your eyes you shifted aside, making a room for him to enter. As soon as he did step into your little flat, you made sure to lock the door with key and a little chain.

You looked at him above your shoulder; he indeed looked like an old, tired man that was overwhelmed with the world itself.

Joel nodded and walked past you to your living room. He took off his backpack and put it on the floor next to the couch.

"Sorry for coming here that late, it wasn't in my original plan. There was this or trying to get to my own flat," he muttered stretching his back. "I won't be much of a bother, I can crush on a couch and maybe use a shower."

You stopped in a threshold, leaning your side against a doorframe. "Yeah, I bet it wasn't your original plan," you said theatrically, and walked to the little kitchen to pour him a glass of whiskey. Thankfully, you had a nice magazine of those.

As you returned with a glass, you passed it to him, and took a seat in an armchair, crossing legs nicely.

"It's been half a year. Without any sign from you."

"Yeah, I planed to get home but I fucking failed due to some fucked up shit I had to stumble upon," he explained and turned to you, looking a bit suprised at the fact you offer him a drink.

Joel gladly took it and then sat down on the couch. He downed drink quickly in one big sip. It was a nice change than the simple water, apparently he needed it more than he though. "I know, been busy. You know, trying to somehow earn my living in this shithole.”

You didn't reply to his words, you simply listen to his story, nodding from time to time. "Still, you could have informed me. I was dying of stress."

Joel let out a sigh, did you try to guilt trip him or something? He wasn't really sure what you tried to achieve, he was tired. "Well, I couldn't. There was one job after another. I also never saw you bothering yourself with coming to me," he shrugged, rubbing his eyes. "Can I use the shower or not?"

"Feel free to use whatever you want," you informed him as you got up, and walked to the door. "I'll bring you a blanket and pillow. You can find a fresh towels Inna cabinet in a bathroom."

"Yea, I remember where and don't worry. I will be gone as soon as the curfew will be over. So I won't bother ya too much," Joel explained before getting up from the couch and simply walking into your bathroom.

You returned to your bedroom, initially you left the door open, just in case Joel would want a hand.

You climbed to your bed and placed head into the soft pillow.

"Oh fucking hell... This is what I needed," Joel muttered to himself at the feeling of water washing off a 4 day worth of a dirt, blood or whatever was covering him at that point.

He rested his head against the shower wall, simply enjoying the pleasant feeling. Joel made sure to check himself in case he needed to tend any wounds. As for a hit with a fucking metal baseball bat, I am surprised my ribs are still intact, he thought to himself. Only thing that kinda bothered him was a wound on his leg.

It took him half an hour to get himself to somehow permissible state. After drying himself he redressed and left the bathroom. Sitting down on the couch he started to dig through his backpack to find the aid kit to tend the wound on his leg.

You got awakened up by Joel again. It was probably caused by the fact you were having a light sleep.

Your eyes opened slowly, you rolled on the other side and looked at Joel through open door, yet you didn't get up from your bed.

Oh, how jealous you were of him. You knew you two were only colleagues but you counted for something more, and always were trying to do anything for him to notice you. He never did though, that's why you gave upon him.

Joel could feel a chills ran down his spine as he felt someone's eyes on him. It wasn't extremely unpleasant but for him it was simply unnecessary. Man looked over his shoulder right at you. "Have someone ever told you that staring is rude?," Joel asked and then turned his attention back to his leg.

"I am just checking if you don't need a hand," you replied and nuzzled to your pillow. You tried to hide the blush.

"Do I look like I need it? I'd ask for help if I would need one," Joel summed up, ribbing the bandage in half before tying around his leg and hiding the rest in his backpack.

You turned on the other side with a loud gasp. "Like you wish, Joel. Good night."

"Night," he said simply, getting comfortable on the couch. All he used was the pillow you gave him.

The anger raged within you. You couldn't believe that he has simply came to take a nap on your couch.

You grabbed your pillow and got up from bed, you walked on your tiptoes to stand right next to the couch, then you hit him with a pillow. "How could you left without a fucking word, Joel?!"

Joel nearly jumped out of his skin because of this sudden assault from your side. Probably if not the fact he knew where he was and who you were, he would punch back. For sure not with pillow.

"What the fuck, the hell is wrong with you, girl?!," He growled sitting up and turning to you.

You hit him few times with pillow. "You told me you'll come back. You never did! Only now! And only because some time ago I offered you a safe place!," You screamed at him.

He got up from the couch and stood in front of you. Joel was two if not three times your size, he was way bigger than you so disarming you wasn't much of a problem. "Seriously? Pillow? Try harder next time," he muttered and threw the pillow over his shoulder. "I told you I was busy, besides, since when you want me to be around?"

"Since the day we met, eh?," You snarled, and looked him hardly in the eyes. "You good knew that I have a feeling for you, even despite the fact you and Tess...," You gasped. "It's not important now, anymore. It's not important. I'm sorry for my outburst, it shouldn't have happened."

He looked at you with a frown, deeply confused at you confession. You had feelings for him? Was that even possible?

"No, it is important. Explain it now. What me and Tess?," Joel asked. He was curious what he will he hear from you.

You clenched palms in fists. "You and her are a thing, I'm not an idiot. You live together. You have common stuff to which you both are fully committed."

Joel chuckled and shook his head. Everything you just said was a complete nonsense.

"Listen..," he muttered and rubbed bridge of his nose. "Me and Tess, we were never a thing. Not even in the sightless degree. Sure, we worked together and she slept in my flat but that's it. Nothing more, nothing less," Joel explained.

"Yeah, yeah, if you think I'm going to believe this, you're mistaken," you told him, then went to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of whiskey, but instead of downing the glass, you downed the bottle itself.

Joel rolled his eyes and followed you. He took the bottle out of your hand and put it down on the countertop away from your reach. "And why would I lie to you, Y/N?"

"Because I'm only a colleague of yours, you don't need to tell me the truth," you shrugged.

"Oh, is that so?," He leaned on countertop, looking at you.

Joel did promise to come back to you but he indeed never did. There was few factor that made him stay away. You were younger, less experienced. That meant you deserved some as young as you, someone who isn't as broken as he is. Joel indeed cared about you but what was the point for him. “What If I tell you that you are really mistaken?"

"I don't care anymore," you grabbed the bottle he took away from you and downed it. "I don't care. Past few months have taught me that I can only count on myself, as everyone around is lying on purpose to gain something," you told him and ran fingers through your hair.

"Now I call it bullshit, Y/N. Because if you truly didn't care anymore, you wouldn't try to murder me with a pillow," Joel said crossing arms over his chest. He got a really stupid idea. "Okay, listen. I care about you, I really do... That's why I didn't come," Joel said, facepalming mentally.

You shrugged. "Good to know. After half a year," you went back to the little living room and flopped on the couch, you wiped a drop of whiskey that have left on your lips with the top of palm.

Joel rolled his eyes and joined you. "Well, you weren't much better. Just now I found out you have feelings for me because I really had no idea you were jealous of Tess," he chuckled and poked you on the ribs.

"Don't touch me," you snarled and shifted aside. "You were a dumbass then, how was it possible for you to not realize that I had a feeling for you?," You chuckled on your own words.

"Y/N. I am an old, broken smuggler," he sighed and looked at you. "You know me, you know everything. Can you blame me for this?"

"Yeah, I kinda can," you chuckled coldly and laid head on the pillow you borrowed him. "You might be old but with your age a wisdom should come along."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Joel rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand to pull you up and onto his laps.

It was a mistake probably and it was wrong. You deserved far more than him but it wasn't a point then. He grabbed the back of your neck tightly and pulled into a kiss only to pull away as soon as he ran out of the air in his lungs. "Will this make us quit this smart talk?"

You licked you lips after the kiss he offered you.

Your heart rate increased, you were taken off your guard by his sudden movement.

Without questioning your own actions anymore, you started kissing him, while rolling your hips a little, to rub your core against his crotch.

He kissed you back, placing hand on your hip while the other moved under your silky nightgown. His rough hand caressed your soft, warm skin.

Soon you were flipped so Joel was hovering over you. His kisses moved down to your neck and even lower, he quickly found himself between your legs.

Joel looked up at you, checking if you didn't change your mind.

You tried to rub thighs together while moaning quietly for him. "And don't try to tell me that you didn't want this before," you whispers and bit your lower lip, observing man's movements. "I've dreamt of it."

Placing your legs on his shoulders Joel moved nightgown up, exposing your belly.

"Well, I can see that just by the fact you're wet already," he hummed before giving your pussy a one big lick, after this he wrapped his lips around your clitoris.

Joel played with your bundle of nerves and soon his thick fingers started to slowly slip inside of you.

You grabbed one of his hands and placed it on your boob. "That's it, handsome. Just keep going," you praised softly and tangled your fingers with his hair.

You rolled hips gently to get a little more friction.

Despite the fact you didn't want to manifest it, he was right; you became wet as soon as you've seen him at your door.

He smiled against your flesh, his fingers slipped inside of you. They moved in fast pace, curling inside of your from time to time while his lips never left your clit. "Come on, princess. Don't hold it back, I know you want go cum."

"I... Want... To... Cum... Around your... Cock," you gasped and cupped his face with both of your hands, rolling hips faster, fucking yourself against his bearded face.

Joel continued to eat you out until he decided it was enough. He moved away only to sit up and removed his shirt along with his pants, he pushed them down enough to free his cock. There was no time for playing around. Joel grabbed your legs and pulled you closer. He took his cock and teased your clit with it. "Are ya still sure about it?"

"Yeah," you murmured, biting your lower lip. You traced your hand right between your thighs to rub your pussy. You were soaking wet, indeed.

"But hands we keep up here," he said and grabbed both of your hand, Joel moved them over your head and kept them there using one of his hands.

He lowered himself and kissed you, pushing his cock deep inside of you without any warning. Joel started to fuck you hard and deep.

You ached your back and wrapped legs around his hips, you did it to deepen his pushes.

His cock stretched you nicely, and you moaned lowly, gasping a little when his tip hit the back of your pussy.

He moved faster, thrusting deeper and deeper with every move. Joel groaned lowly at the nice feeling of your warm walls squeezing his hard cock.

"You like it, huh? Is this what you wanted?," He snarled and his free hand moved between your bodies to pinch your clit before rubbing it in a slow circles.

You closed your eyes, and parted lips, a moan escaped them, and you rolled your hips a little more for Joel.

Joel hummed satisfied, looking down on you. You looked so beautiful, just a whimpering mess under him, just because of him.

He released your hands so he could wrap this arm around your waist to deepen the thrusts as much as possible, Joel moved down to place few kisses and bites on your neck.

Your hands rapidly went to scratch his back where you scratched a little. You loved the way he was hovering over your figure, you felt secured, in his arms you felt like in home.

You let him do whatever he wanted, you felt how desperate he was for your touch as well, but you knew he would never admit it

He hummed nuzzling to your neck, placing few more kisses there. Oh, how he loved the feeling of your small fragile body trapped right under him.

"Come on, princess. I know you want to cum, I can feel it," Joel purred deeply right into your ear.

You nuzzled to his bare, naked chest. You trailed your lips along every scar on his body, you moaned in a rhythm of his thrusts.

But when your climax has came, you remained silent. Only a little gasp of yours and tightening grasp of your legs wrapped around Joel's hips determined the moment you've reached your peak.

Joel gave you few harder thrusts before cumming deep inside of you. "Fuck," he growled and nuzzled to your neck with a happy hum.

He stayed motionless for a moment, trying the gain back the control on his own breath. Suddenly, Joel chuckled, kissing your neck and cheek. "Honestly? I expected more sound from you, princess."

You gasped and blushed oh so hardly, you didn't expect him to be so open. "Joel," you gasped. You blushed harder when you felt how your mixed cums dripped down your thighs when he slipped out of your core.

He hummed and gave one one more teasing thrust before moving up to look at you. "What is it, princess?"

"Don't go... Please, Joel, don't go... Don't leave me... I won't survive..."

He hushed you, pulling out slowly and laying both of you in comfortable position on the small couch. "I ain't going anywhere. Now, try to get some rest, okay?," Joel whispered, kissing your forehead.

"And when I wake up, you'll be still here?," You asked, letting your eyes closed.

"Yeah, I promise. Cross on my heart," he said hugging you tight.

You quickly drifted into sleep, being flanked by a firm grasp of the arms you loved the most.

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#Joel #Joel smut #Joel x reader #Joel x reader smut #Joel x you #Joel x you smut #TLOU Joel #TLOU Joel smut #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfic #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic

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jostens-pitch · 4 years

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wait can u explain why u think simons gonna die in awtwb ??? like how are u so sure what led u there im curious

LMAO its really more of a joke than anything, but i do kinda believe its an option.

firstly rainbow has never really ended any of her books in a happy light (i havent read landline so i may be wrong), theyve always had slightly bittersweet endings ??

simon dying is the only way, that i personally believe, his story can end without any loose strings. he wasnt supposed to be born, he wasnt supposed to be so full of magic, he wasnt supposed to exist. period. i think by giving up his magic he balanced the world out in a way, but theres always the after effects no one pays attention to.

also, wayward son started WITH an epilogue, wrapping up carry on, which was simons book. rainbow has said that wayward son is more bazs book, and from what i personally believe awtwb will be pennys book (still debating on this one tho). i think simon dying would just ultimately be the only way he can have a purpose after the events of carry on, which is something he so dearly wants. he spent all of wayward son feeling incomplete and like there was something missing.

rainbow said in an interview a few months ago that she wasnt sure where exactly simon would end up in awtwb, and taking so long to make that decision is kinda telling to me. if you want a character to live, you just know. if youre thinking of killing them off, it kills you to decide and fully commit to.

overall, i think hes the most likely of the gang to die. and looking at fangirl, the book that inspired carry on, cath wanted to kill off baz because she felt it fit the characters purpose and role perfectly. i think that was rainbow speaking about characters in general.

do i want to be right ? no

will i continue to obsess over the idea ? yes

#carry on #simon snow #baz pitch #snowbaz #rainbow rowell #wayward son #awtwb #ask #anon #mine

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fantastic-rambles · 3 years

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Ahhh yaknow what you’re right. I just went back and looked over some of the rod, and I didn’t see Langa explicitly agree to not to skate with Adam. He promised that he wouldn’t quit skating with Reki, but he only acknowledged Reki’s warning to not be reckless. It actually makes a bunch of sense why Langa would be confused by the distancing and argument. I see now why you were upset with Reki’s behavior. It feels kind of like a ‘secret contract’ sorta thing where Reki got upset over a broken rule Langa never realized he was supposed to abide by. And not only is that unfair like you said, but it flipped the situation as if Langa was being untrustworthy to his word when really Reki didn’t trust Langa not to quit skating with him just because of danger/injury. And especially since I’ve seen people make solid arguments for Langa being neurodivergent or neurodivergent-coded, it’s really not a stretch at all for him to see the situation like you did. Langa most likely saw the issue as solely reckless behavior leading to quitting. But clearly Reki’s own jealousy/insecurities added Langa preferring better skaters as potentially leading to them not skating together without ever discussing it until Langa was blindsided during the argument. I would’ve looked a better apology from Reki where he fully explained why he was upset when they were making up. It’s human for his feelings on the issue to change, but that should’ve been better expressed to Langa. Although Langa did a great job of accurately smoothing over what was bothering Reki without that. Maybe that’ll be rectified if he apologizes to Miya. I think Miya deserves one especially since Reki physically shoved him after he opened up about why his actions were such a sore spot for him. I actually thought Miya’s words would help Reki see the other side of things so seeing Miya get pushed was like a “Bro wtf??” moment for me. Again it’s understandable that people act out when they’re angry and Reki was obviously already struggling with his emotions, but it should be acknowledged again how wrong that was. Boy are you opening my eyes to a lot of problematic stuff lol.

Also, I’m very curious as to why you hate Shadow. For me, it’s because I can’t move past that comment in ep 1. I know ppl brush it off as just an (unnecessarily misogynistic) act for his persona, but that woman literally didn’t say anything to him and he insulted her for no reason by using her body as trophy to be defaced if he won. Ew. And just because he’s super nice to the flower shop lady, he does not get a pass. If he’s only respectful to women he’s attracted to and jumps at any other the opportunity to degrade women, he’s still a misogynist. And I’m pretty sure that he already new flower shop lady when the series started, so I don’t think you can argue that his character developed to be better towards women as a whole because of her or that he wouldn’t do something like that again at this point in the story. Especially since the goal of proving yourself as a “strong man” has not historically worked out to men being compassionate with women. (Tho within a vacuum devoid of his other actions, I can appreciate his commitment to a makeup routine)

Oh! And I would totally wanna read that fanfic if you write it!! I’m not even as gung-ho about Adam going to jail as most fans and Adam-haters tbh. Mainly because it’d probably be for political corruption via money bribes which is already kinda common and I don’t think the show has stated him to be doing anything particularly bad with it I don’t think so?? Like it seems to be mainly for the purpose of keeping S secret which is indeed a waste of money and effort when he could just buy it, but on the other hand, there doesn’t seem to be any ill consequences on the citizens the politician represents. So yea, it’s illegal so the jail time is technically deserved. But also like... no harm no foul🤷‍♀️ If he would be getting charged for assaulting other skaters than I definitely think that’s fair, but I doubt that’ll happen in the show just because I feel like no one will actually say anything when the time comes partially due to the shock of his arrest if they’re even involved. And I mean, Cherry was pissed at Adam for getting skaters hurt but still rolled out the hospital and joked like he was fine, so I just don’t particularly see anyone calling him out on it to the point of it being apart of his sentencing. The end of ep 11 with Cherry and Joe arguing about one of them going against Adam just doesn’t sound like condemning him to battery charges to me XD

But yaknow I’ve been loving hurt/comfort type fics lately, so I’d be really interested in seeing Adam truly work and change himself for some type of redemption in that setting. I can see hitting rock bottom as being really good for him given it may provide a reprieve from having to manage his image. Adam is underrated in complexity so it’s always cool when people try to flesh him out more and dive into his inner world. And of course Tadashi is kind of my fave (if you couldn’t tell) so I love anything healing for him as well :)

Yep, I was majorly pissed at Reki for how he treated Langa and Miya. His behavior is absolutely problematic. Not as bad as Adam, obviously, but with everything I’ve said and you’ve realized... yeah. I’m glad he made up with Langa and will probably make up with Miya, but it doesn’t invalidate everything he’s done before. Yes, he’s still an immature teenager, but I don’t think he realizes how messed up his behavior was, even after making up with Langa (the resolution seems to be based on him accepting that he’s not an ace skater, rather than recognizing how toxic his behavior was), so I’m still not satisfied. But hey, it’s probably just me being hyperfixated on trivial details that nobody else even cares about. /shrug

(I’m glad to know that I wasn’t misinterpreting the “promise,” or lack thereof, though!)

And I have two major problems with Shadow. My first--and biggest--problem is, as you’ve pointed out, that he’s an enormous misogynist. At “S,” people have the freedom to be exactly who they are beneath the facades that they show to the world. For example, Adam is someone desperately searching for someone who can understand him, not the perfectly put-together politician Shindo Ainosuke. Cherry and Joe are more true to their “real life” selves, but there are differences in their behavior on the track and off. And then there’s Shadow, the overcompensating “strong man” who threatens to make a guy tattoo “Dumpster Slut” over his girl’s name. So I 100% agree with everything you said about Shadow. He’s a chauvinistic pig.

The second problem is that I honestly think his actions when he’s racing are worse than Adam’s, and the only reason it’s not made out as such is because he’s the buttmonkey rather than the villain. I believe that, as problematic as Adam’s antics are, he does not intend to cause severe physical harm to his opponents. I’ve discussed this idea in more detail in other posts, but in short, even in the most extreme case--Cherry’s--his injuries were far lighter than they would have been if Adam had seriously wanted to hurt him. Death, coma, etc. were all highly probable outcomes of that situation, so the only reason they didn’t happen was because Adam was holding back. Or anime logic. But even anime logic can only stretch so far. And against lesser opponents like Reki, he generally holds onto them to ensure that they don’t accidentally hurt themselves when they’re panicking.

Of course, Shadow doesn’t intend to cause severe physical harm to his opponents either, but he does not exert any control over the situation after he throws fireworks at his opponent or shines a laser in their eyes. We’ve twice seen his opponents fall off the course as a direct result of his actions: Reki in the first race, Harry in the quarterfinals. They could have just as easily fallen off the cliff or slammed into a wall (at full speed) and been badly injured. If Shadow were an actual villain, I fully believe that he would have an actual body count of people who died racing against him (as opposed to Adam’s trail of injured opponents). So it bothers me that people shrug off what Shadow does while screaming for Adam’s death.

As for the scandal subplot... I’m *pretty* sure it’s a lot more serious than Adam bribing the police to leave “S” alone. I think he’s actually involved in some majorly shady/illegal activities politically. Like, in Episode 7, when the other Diet member gets pulled over, arrested, and has his house searched... there’s no way that has anything to do with “S.” At the very least, the two of them were collaborating on something really bad, something serious that Adam lied about under oath, and that’s enough for Adam’s staff to worry about what’s going to happen, especially Tadashi. We don’t know what it is specifically, but it’s definitely a lot more than just passing out bribes to hide “S.”

Lol, I’ll have to see how it goes. Probably won’t start it until after the anime finishes at the very least so I can see how it turns out for Adam and Tadashi, plus I have another half dozen WIPs at the moment and nowhere near enough time to work on them all. xD

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cosmic-capri · 4 years

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Near you

A/N: felt like writing something smutty as a tribute to 100 very loved followers. Hope you enjoy! Feedback is very welcome, let me know how to improve for you guys.

Warnings: Implied smut, very bad dialogue lol (I really don’t know how to make cool fictional conversations) and I kinda tried a different narrative technique.

It was rare for Tom to find himself in casual encounters with other women. He preferred not to, not so much for his fame and reputation, which played very important aspects, but more because he didn’t felt entirely comfortable with the idea of just having a girl for the night and not even have some kind of consideration for her afterwards.

The few times he did bring someone to his hotel room or the property he is given while shooting a new project, never to his place, he never saw the girl again, they always left before he got the chance to maybe call a cab for them. He hates to admit this to himself, but sometimes it is more as if he felt the one who was used and discharged.

Tom was a sensitive person, he didn’t expected or wanted to find love after a few drinks and senseless fucking, but he hated the fact that all this girls would just scream his name without really showing any kind of real pleasure, and he knew, they would be telling someone the morning after, how he fucked, how he did, what he didn’t do, his body and size. This details and idea haunted him, sometimes he got so nauseous he felt sick afterwards, blaming it on the booze. No girl ever really felt real on some kind of way, no talking, no laughing, no nothing, they were just there, moving on top of him, saying things that felt acted, “yes tommy fuck me, oh my god yes I’m gonna cum”, while he was just entering them, or when he was just somewhere else not committing to give them real, or any, pleasure.

Tonight was going to be different.

She was working on the legal, boring, professional and serious field of the job. She was present most of the time, which has given Tom an opportunity to get to know her at a certain level. She was reserved, almost boring-looking, but she was always kind to everyone, she always gave him a warm smile, and she had a type of attractiveness that had to be stared at for a while before really seeing the beauty she carries. At least that’s what Tom thinks, because she doesn’t act like no model, she doesn’t seem to care so much weather or not she looks flawless or trying to impress him. She is just there, sometimes she laughs loudly, sometimes she speaks in terms and mannerisms Tom could never completely understand, and she sometimes stares at him, making Tom feel like he has to do something to keep her attention.

They never spoked alone, there was always someone else, Tom felt as if she didn’t wanted people to really know her, there were moments in which she went quiet and vanish. She was inside of her head more than anywhere else. Tom couldn’t help but feel curious, and to feel bad when she was by her own with all those papers and coffee for the fat bastards at the top. He would get into a bad mood when thinking about the possibility of them staring at her like a piece of meat when she clearly isn’t looking for it, at all.

The few times she got to be more preset, or at least that’s what Tom thinks, is when there are events regarding alcohol and late night entertainment. She seemed more loose and open to be herself. Tonight was going to be different.

Tom decides to approach the group of people she is hanging out with. This is one of those occasions in which she doesn’t have to make and effort to show off her beauty, and of course is one of those occasions in which is impossible for her to hide and pretend to be invisible, how could she? Thinks Tom, she looks so beautiful.

He saluted everyone, taking his time to give her a warm hug, grabbing her by the waist and kissing her cheek. This is how he greets all the women he considers to be familiar or as friends. She seems surprised by it, but with no problem at all returns the same warmth, and as if she was reading Tom’s mind, she also takes more time to kiss his right cheeck. The conversation flows and grounds around Tom’s talent, which he is not comfortable with, he’ll have time to talk about himself when press arrives, right now he is interested in other things, like how to get to talk to you, just the two.

Having a great time? Tom asks her, since there was an awkward silence in the conversation that was taking place.

Yes, thank you, how about you Mr. Holland? She says, as kind as always. The name cought his attention, he almost wants to laugh, he finds it adorable in some kind of way.

It’s fine yeah. He takes a sip of his drink. You can call me Tom love. He gives away a smile, she returns it, she nods her head yes and then she scoffs.

I don’t know why I called you that, guessed I’m used to the formalities of my job.

Maybe it’s all those pricks who think they are on a higher ground than us, but not me, I’m no better than anyone. She looks at him, making a face, like she agrees and at the same time values his humbleness.

Yeah maybe it is.

More conversation is made, eventually the people around them realizes they have no place inside their talk and leave. Tom is so emerged in the way she can pretty much talk about anything and how he can follow trough, feeling a connection he hopes is not only something he feels, but something she does as well.

I don’t know why I didn’t talked to you like this before. She says, staring down at her drink.

To be honest I kinda wished you did, Tom said with no shame at all. He needed her to know.

Well, to be honest, I always wanted to be near you.

Tom is facing her now, closer to her face, not letting her look away, his beautiful brown eyes making it impossible to. She always finded Tom to be attractive, more than that, she felt as if he could do anything to her, and she wanted that.

Want to be near me now? Tom asked, taking a strand of her hair and placing it behind her ear.

Yeah, if you want to.

Tom is walking her to where he is staying, he is holding her hand and she is drawing circles with her thumb, her touch being electric. She looks like an excited little thing running and laughing, as if the bare idea of being there with Tom is already a reason to be happy. He is delighted, making him smile and laugh as well. He can’t help but hold her from behind, holding her waist, kissing her hand.

Tom has never had a girl that felt so wet for him. She began kissing him, and began to lean in closer, I want you to feel me, she said. Tom felt like he was dreaming, feeling so much of all of this, of her, showing him that she wants him.

He is running his fingers through her folds. She whimpers and holds his hand for support. She is facing him fully naked and so is him. He never felt this close to someone, he never felt exposed, but not in a bad way, he just wasn’t familiar with the intimacy that she is giving him.

God yes, she says, not even screaming, just pulling her head back, holding Tom’s wrist, he is charmed by the feeling of her warmth all over his fingers. He begins to draw soft circles on her clit, to what is making her shake a bit now, she opens her eyes, looking dreamy, staring right through him. She then grabs his dick. The touch taking him by surprise, he whimpers as well. He can tell this is new to her, her touch being too gentle and insecure.

It’s fine, he says as he places his hand above hers and begin to guide her movements, both her and his hand pumping him. God, just like that, he says, closing his eyes.

As Tom lays her down on bed, he begins to kiss her breasts and tummy, she reacts to all of his gestures, which only makes him desire for more. Her skin feels soft, she whimpers and tries to hide her moans, making them soft and tender.

Tom, I want you to take me. She says with her eyes closed, closing and opening her thighs, the friction making her breathing heavy, the sight making Tom twitch.

Are you sure? Even when he is dying to be inside her, to feel what is like to really pleasure someone and having just the same amount in return, he doesn’t want to hurt her or go too far.

She now sits down, grabs Tom’s face and stares at it, rubbing his skin with her thumb, she then grabs his hand, placing two fingers in her mouth, sucking on them, never loosing eye contact. More than anything, she says.

Being inside her was making it too hard for Tom not to come there and now, she is warm, and tight. She makes the most beautiful sounds with each thrust, and her hands can’t stop wandering Tom’s body, nails scratching his back and chest.

You are so big. She says pushing her head back. Tom never felt too confident about his size, being aware that he is average, but when she says this, and grabs the sheets with strength, as she clenches around him, he feels different and better than all the other times he’s had a woman’s body underneath his.

He can’t help but kiss every inch of her skin, bite, and suck.

She is now sitting on top of him, legs straddling his hips. His hands resting on her hips, thumbs grabbing the inside of her thighs, she would find marks the day after, only to remember how much Tom wanted her in that moment.

You are killing me y/n. The sound of his low voice, saying her name, and his tender yet strong thrusts is all it takes for her to fall on his body and feel her legs numb and shaking.

Tom lets her rest on his chest, still inside her. He caresses her back, feeling her calm down from her high. He’s never experienced something like this.

As she moves and exits him, she crawls down and removes the condom, staring at his hard on. She looks up at him, shiny eyes filled with lust.

Can I suck you off? She asks, pumping his dick. Tom moans and nods his head. Only if you want to. He says, how he is still capable of thinking about her before his own pleasure, he doesn’t understand, but he just knows that he cares about her.

Her tongue licks a short strap on his tip. He needs to grab something, being sensitive and overwhelmed by her. She sucks, not going too deep, making sure one hand pumps what she can’t fill in her mouth and other to caress his lover abdomen and thighs.

He comes without being able to warn her, but the release is too much for him, he moans and groans, letting himself go, feeling the heat of his cum on his tummy. She just stares at him, kissing his hip bone, still holding his dick, thumb caressing his tip. Once he is back to earth, he stands and invites he to come close to him. He kisses her with passion, still breathing fast. She smiles into the kiss.

Let me clean us up. Tom stands up, legs numb, head fuzzy. He’s never had this, he can’t help but think if he was her first. He can’t help but take some pride in it, thinking of all the pricks who might wanna have her but weren’t even close to.

As he cleans himself up and wets a toweled offer it to her to get cleaned up as well, he listens to her coming up to the bathroom.

Hey, she says, hugging him from behind. You are so handsome. She kisses the back of his neck.

He smiles and turns to look at her, smiling and feeling... happy?

You are also very beautiful , I think I’ve never had a night like this, you ended me. They both laugh, her arms still around him.

They hope they could stay like this, if not forever, at least for as much time as life can allow them to.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #i need to get more creative with my titles lololol

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