#not gay pirates

[edscuntyeyeshadow]

the way some people reacted to David Jenkins and Neil Gaiman saying their shows would only have 3 seasons is so funny because I saw so many feeling devastated while I am so relieved and relaxed about it. don’t get me wrong I love getting more content with the characters I love but… normalize cohesive storytelling. normalize ENDINGS. do you REALLY want another s*pernatural????

[hansoeii]

Do you think of me?

[mylordshesacactus]

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE--”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

[jomarchswritingjacket]

if you’re gay then you dream of being at least one of these

feel free to replace gay with bi, pan, lesbian, ace, etc.

(and yes i did delete the original poll so i could add the gay vampire option)

[yellowistheraddest]

are they wrong?????

no.

[cillacantstudysosheshere]

Switching from gay angels to gay pirates

[nopiedraws]

🌊

[kjthenbee]

god stede’s fruitiness got cranked up to 1000 as soon as he started wearing that red suit. that was the real “curse” (and I loved every second of it)

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

lol

[edscuntyeyeshadow]

rewatching ofmd right now and literally all I can think about is how the guy on the left is somehow also the guy that shoved edward teach against a wall for the purposes of having hot gay sex

[figrollandacuppa]

This was entirely self serving, I hope you love it too though! The reference was insane.

I will post the gorgeous reference in a reblog so you can see what I’m talking about.

[sleepystede]

Pirate Daddy bringing us wholesome messaging and a hopeful outlook for OFMD to be picked up by another platform??? Happy Saturday, my loves!

Plus, we're his friends 😭😭😭

[akans-dead-at-sea]

I mean, it's an absolute gem!

[flameandignite]

Keira Knightley, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

[dykealloy]

franky (has never met bepo before): tarao what's your first mate like law: he's a bear franky: weird way to describe him but okay 👍 franky: 🏳️‍🌈❤️✨ law: how are you doing that with your mouth