#not i'm never going to be normal i GUESS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

passthroughtime · 5 months

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and they both missed. the absolute fucking gayass losers

#when the guy is such a narrative foil to you that you start to look ESPECIALLY lame #chewing on them why are they like this #like i don't know what they wanted to tell us but it looks gay af either way #not i'm never going to be normal i GUESS #kuwagami #judge eyes #lost judgment spoilers #like what the fucking fuck how else it must've looked when two random guys predict each other's moves like that #and they are so obvious to each other they make them both look stupid #i can't even fucking do this anymore #putting letters together one word at a time

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front-facing-pokemon · 6 months

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#fletchinder #now THIS is an angry guy. they got a big beak and now they're going to stare at you menacingly about it #you better be nice to them. look how grumpy they are #hmph!#kind of an underappreciated pokémon tbqh. route one shitmon‚ sure‚ but i think it's cute and looks cool at least #a fucking! fire bird! that isn't ho-oh or moltres. just a Normal fire bird. love this thing #hi i just edited the talonflame tags to acknowledge 2024 and now i'm here in the fletchinder tags to acknowledge new years eve #i mentioned in the talonflame tags how i'm Considering doing something for new years but that i may end up not doing anything #and ultimately i guess we'll see. it depends on what i end up doing outside the blog whether i end up having the time (or energy) for #like a new year stream or something. i would likely just end up using my own personal twitch account instead of making an ffp one #in case i never end up. using it again #I DUNNO i'll probably just keep talking about maybe doing something until the end of time and never end up doing anything

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sciderman · 3 months

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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks

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iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid · 6 months

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having a really old dog is just repeating the mantra to yourself "i am grateful for the time i've been given and when it comes time to let him go i will do so gracefully. i am grateful for the time i've been given and when it comes time to let wait why are you not pooping normally WHAT IS GOING ON WHY WON'T YOU POOP ARE YOU DYING" and then calling the vet in a panic, being told actually he's fine but give the probiotic some time to do its thing and then let us know if anything changes, and then you take a deep breath and go "cool. yeah. obviously he's fine. anyway. i am grateful for the time i've been given and

#listen i got this dog when he was already 7 years old and i was 22 #never in a million years did i think he'd still be here EIGHT YEARS LATER when i'm THIRTY #tbh after all the shit i've given him for pooping inside he WOULD go out because of some constipation #like ''fine you don't want me to poop inside? i guess i'll never poop again''#which is why i was so worried because this just felt like something that would happen #but the vet literally didn't bat an eye when i called lmao #she was just like ''oh yeah that sounds totally normal''#so this geriatric menace gets to live on #me #dog death cw #not really but talking about like. the inevitability of it #HONESTLY i'm glad i've had so many scares because it's almost like it's bracing me for the real event #not to be. excessively morbid or anything #ANYWAY #DOG IS FINE HE'S JUST HAVING HIS DIGESTIVE SYSTEM RESET

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ratcandy · 25 days

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my classmates will go thru 6 hours of class the day after a long excursion through the countryside and then just get up and go run around in town for hours going to movies and shopping and whatever and I'm just sitting here like Aren't you all exhausted . Aren't you all sore and pained. Where are you getting this energy. Can we calm down

#if nothing else this trip has really opened my eyes to how much chronic pain/fatigue does impact my life compared to others #i dunno I guess I just never really noticed. but I just don't have the energy other people do. Not even close. Not even a little bit #I go through a day of class and relish in the thought of spending the rest of my day resting because the agony in my legs #and the unbearable tiredness I feel just beckons me to collapse into bed #but everyone else is just so . energized. and ready to explore. and wanting to run all over the place and do 1 million things all the time #and this is normal? this is how normal people are? Because I'm the only one out of my entire class who seems to be the opposite #everyone just has so much energy. and I Do Not have that energy. I had to stand for most of the past three hours and it's taken me out #for the day i'll be honest. but everyone else just seems so undaunted #and it sucks because i'd love to hang out with these people and join them and whatever but when I do force myself along i'm just so tired #and so pained that all my responses are either dry or i don't say anything at all. i'm just completely out of spoons but I hang on because #i Hate the feeling of being left behind #oh well. eye-opening experience I guess #vent #<- it became that so yeah I'm tagging it #clamtalk #and also? my bee sting? IT ITCHES. Who was going to tell me it'd do that. What the Fuck Man

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averlym · 9 months

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,,, little lemmings in line...

#adamandi #needed this. idk. shameless fluff. i. sjdhdjfhfhfhfhf viewing this doodle just makes me happy ok #something silly. i feel like lately i've been a lot more earnest on this blog and it's nice!!#the imagery that the lyrics evoke.... goes so hard actually. consider this maybe an outtake of the last 'where can i run' thingy #yes i get the whole lemmings off a cliff thing but also i think taking it at face value would be cute therefore this #since basically they refer to the rest of the students as lemmings.. he's human in this one i guess.#quincent thoughts. many many. but also i have been maybe avoiding engaging with quincy on a more intense level? until i am in a better #mental state to do so. because the whole academic perfection and self harm is a Thing i would like to engage with Properly without spirals #yay on me for being healthy about media! not normal and never normal. but healthy is good i guess #... hm. family is being iffy lately because you're supposed to have good acads And not stressed but i refuse to feel guilty anymore.#after this period i'll go bonkers over him and in the meantime unfortunately they won't feature as much in the content.. :<#anyways. fun fact about lemmings is that it's not necessarily a derogatory blindly leaping to deaths thing when it comes to the actual ones #like that's the phrasing and connotation right. but apparently it's more of they leap off cliff into water below or smth to migrate and onl #the rare few die (skill issue??um) and apparently the whole association was propagated by some documentary wildlife drama thing that kind o #.... hastened the chasing of the poor things off the cliff and filmed it. a bit messed up. and like i guess what a nice metaphor for the #academic context here? or a different one at least. where only a few die so they keep doing it but also for the Average lemming following #following the system is not inherently bad.. maybe i'm projecting.#anyways peep the tiny character shorthands now.. ambrose has the jacket/ bea has the hat and gloves with strings: portia has the bow on hea #quincy has the bowtie and glasses /(beatrix also has glasses. i forgot about those until i was drawing quincy's.)#'avvy why are they standing up' you ask? because four legs looked weird with ambrose's jacket. 'why did you give lemmings glasses?' ummmmm #i guess recognisability? don't look too much into it #outtakes of this include vincent standing in a circle of lemmings. it's badly drawn and frankly hilarious because they're all tiny and #below the knee.#'avvy these don't look like realistic lemmings' you are very right. i am sorry. i looked for a crowd of lemmings on google images and all i #found were political cartoons... i Can draw animals technically i swear #anyways! emotional support adamandi doodle out. going to start work now!#oh i forgot to tag the characters... hm... i guess i'll leave out the lemmings..#?#vincent aurelius lin #.

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months

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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

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nuclearanomaly · 1 year

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Perfumed Eves

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thewritingowl · 2 years

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One thing I've noticed as I've gotten further into the DPxDC fandom is that people don't believe me anymore when I tell them I don't consume DC media.

Like, I'll be like, "Oh I don't really know much about the DC universe" which is true! Most of my knowledge is from fandom osmosis and various wiki dives I've done for the sake of my own fanfic. Even then, my knowledge tends to be very batman specific because that's the niche that I've found myself just cozying on up into.

But then I'll be talking with one of my irl friends and they'll mention something about batman or one of the robins and I go off about the things I've learned (like according to the batman wiki APPARENTLY Duke might be immortal????? Like what the fuck????) and they'll go, "Wow you know a lot about Batman, huh?"

and I have to sit there being like, none of this knowledge is knowledge I gained legitimately. I was just trying to enjoy some fanfic of my comfort media from when I was a child and suddenly I found a Danny Phantom/Batman crossover fic and now I've written over 100K words for a fandom in which I've never consumed content and whose other half I have not watched since I was a literal child.

My friends are out here being like, "Wow, Eli, you must be a fan of DC!" and like, I can't just TELL them that I only can bring myself to enjoy DC media in this very specific context because the fandom itches a particular area of my brain that has not been scratched in a long time. Like, I'm not MAD that I've ended up in these predicaments, I'm just constantly living in a state of wondering when do I stop denying that I know a lot about Batman and accept that I've become a fan of Batman media in the least legitimate possible way.

IDK if this makes any sense, it's just a thought I had while I was working on my one shot for day 6 of DP/DC Week. Also like, it feels very weird to just throw my thoughts out into the void like this when I've only really interacted with other DP/DC crossover fans via my own fanfics and other ao3 comment sections so like please excuse my general awkwardness as I shout into the void that is tumblr.

#random thoughts to spew to the void #dc x dp #dp x dc #dp dc crossover #dp x dc crossover #All the people who are like ‟I've never seen Danny Phantom before but have this DP/DC crossover fanfic anyways‟ I love you so much #Normalize making fanfic for shows you've never seen #Just go solely off of the fandom's vibes #Our canon now #I do constantly worry though that eventually people will call me out for being a 'fake fan'#Despite making it abundantly clear that I have not consumed much DC media #Like okay I guess I'm exaggerating when I say none #I've seen the Lego Batman Movie and read the webtoon #But the rest of my dc knowledge?#Straight from you all and wiki dives #Though sucks for you all #I have not written this much in this amount of time in so long #I may be a secret fake fan but y'all can't get rid of me now

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menshusband · 2 months

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What does a man have to do not to live in constant dread

#this is about school #mostly #i hate it here chat #what am i to do #someone.....if you have any advice... please #i have an oral test tomorrow i have to learn by heart two texts in chinese and learn 100 new vocabulary words #help. drowning #literally #can no longer keep it up #for the record I'm demotivated because my efforts never take me to satisfactory results #and yea sure nothing changes overnight #but like. I've been trying for at least 8 years now? aren't things supposed to get better after a while I'm trying?#I've tried changing methods eh #anyways. unsatisfactory results. and it gets frustrating because I feel so disappointing because I know before starting that I won't be abl #to do The Thing. get to complete homework? memorise something? BE ABLE TO FUCKING TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WHO KNOWS HOW TO TALK???#you name it. i just can't do it #in school specifically but outside too #only outside of school i don't whip my ass about it because who fucking cares #but this is something that will influence my future chances of getting jobs too #like i cant talk the way i do in a job interview nobody's going to think i have basic communication skills or even basic human skills at al #ah nevermind it's fine #I'll find a way #some day #i guess #the unsilly

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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year

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#grumpig #i've never really ever had a lot to say about this pokémon. i'm sure there's *someone* out there whose favorite pokémon this is #as i'm sure that's the case for the entire natdex. SOMEONE has got to have every pokémon as their favorites out there. but this one #not one i've ever thought of. i honestly thought it was like… psychic/dark type. gothitelle typing. but no i just checked #i think it's the black on their ears and arms that made me think that. but they're pure psychic. soooo #yeah. i mean. spoink has a cool interesting thing going on with the bouncing tail and the pearl and then they just turn into grumpig who is #a normal. anthro pig. i guess. i don't DISLIKE it i'm just like c'mon give us Something #gimme Something to talk about

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violent138 · 3 months

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did you know eclipses are a historical symbol for apocalypses? Your theory about people being replaces might not be so far off

Why would you do this to me? To add to my suffering?

And it's not my theory it's just a horrible, constant irrational thought I have borne from too much horror/Sci fi consumption and a general paranoia about everything.

#My god does this count as a sign?#Anon torture is not preferable to anon hate! (Joking)#Asks answered #Under heavy protest though #Personal #eclipse #I am literally not going to be normal about this until I'm definitively proved wrong and since that'll never happen I guess I'll just suffe #Anon asks

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butterflieswhisper · 2 months

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hhelp wait this is so funny. didnt you follow me forever ago after a scott themed october song analysis . sorry if you dont remember that and this ask doesnt make sense but this is still funny to me

hi!!!! yeah. it was the cherri crane lives art i think and also where you made your flower husbands tag! I have never really interacted with fh outside of you (and like, seeing pretty fanart) but i am nonetheless deeply invested in your interpretation specifically!!! I honestly haven't watched jimmy outside of rats and the beginning of empires2 either i genuinely have no clue what they get up to you just seem to have a lot of fun with it

#asks #<-omg i can make that a tag now #i also am a year behind on the life series. i think the most recent one i've seen is double #like from any pov. i am a year behind. however that goes for everything on youtube #my poor watch later playlist hit the 5000 video limit forever ago and so did the second one i made to replace it. i am on my third #but seriously i don't know what goes on in fh canon but i like their blue/yellow thing they have going on. idk if that's like? intentional?#but like scott blue and canary yellow are really pretty colors together #and they are also SO close to being complimentary colors and yet. they aren't. just a little bit off #they don't quite fit quite how they should. i made that up on the spot i mostly think yellow and blue are nice colors #i think my biggest exposure to scott before you was literally the deal with destiny song in empires1 #and i don't even think i acknowledged him as like a real guy ykwim.#like oh yeah. scott smajor. he's like. in that song lizzie made or something. he can sing alright i guess (plays it on loop)(plays it on lo #whisp whispers #seeing u post about Discourse(tm) is always really funny to me because i didn't realize for a while that u did not have like #the 'normal' interpretation? like i didn't realize you had a different view than other people #i was like oh yeah the relationship held in the death games is toxic. that makes sense yeah and is not surprising #and then suddenly there would be a post where you mention discourse and i went. Ohhhhh wait they're supposed to be HAPPY!!!#but i feel like this is infinitely more enjoyable i love Flawed Characters #and especially now after watching his rats. i get it. i get it i get it i see what you are saying #he doesn't interact much with jimmy hes mostly with owen and. i mean #'i've never heard someone apologize so much while putting the blame on the other person'???? i see exactly what you mean #r!scott accidentally hurting r!owen and then apologizing profusely while insisting it's because owen stood in his way. and then immediately #isolating himself in a room for like 20 minutes and refusing to interact with anyone feels like. idk #it reminds me of ur rambles and i understand them more now i think. kind of #to be clear by 'with' i mean like. in proximity of. those rats are AROMANTIC!!!!! (to me)#i'm so sorry these tags are a mess. but alas #i also think it's really funny to follow Flower Husbands guy and know nothing abt them. invested by proxy. whenever i hear abt scott giving #jimmy a flower i get excited not because like i know what's going on but because omg! that's like that thing bree talks about sometimes!!#i hope that like. any of this makes sense shdbfjk

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da-proti-toku-grem · 4 months

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atp i think my therapist is more lost than i am lol

she told me smth like: i'm gonna be honest, i'm a bit lost with you. like, you clearly have social anxiety, but whenever i ask you a question similar to "do you care what people will think about...?" your answer is always "no", which is weird because social anxiety is usually due in part to that fear of what people will say. so the thing is, every single method i use for people with social anxiety don't apply to you

and i'm like: 😀👍

#like. girl idk wtf is wrong with me either lol #the whole situation is weird af i don't understand it either #bc i truly don't care about what people might think about me (well. to a certain extent yes but not in the way she means i guess)#but i just don't understand why tf i'm SCARED of the mere thought of going outside and having to interact with people #if idgaf about what they think about #yes. i'm weird and not “normal” in many ways but that's not bad and it has never really bothered me #so just *sigh* ...why #maca speaks

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dawdlecentric · 6 months

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D3G_Takahashi you are the boniji artist ever 💗💛

Their art really make me feel like this every time