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gralunaisland · 2 years

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Part 1 of "Why Gray is NOT a Tsundere"

(An Anti-gr///via Post)

[Links to Part 2 and Part 3 are linked here and at the end.]

One of the most commonly used arguments to demonstrate support for the gr////viugh ship is that even though Gray rejects juvia’s advances countless times, they still belong together because “Gray is a tsundere”, and therefore he actually likes everything juvia does and has been attracted to her and her antics since the beginning.

Despite these particular Pros loving to paint themselves as “guardians of Japanese culture”, using "culture" as an argument that the Japanese love stalking and obsession, I believe they are willfully ignoring what a tsundere actually is in anime in order to claim Gray's loved juvia all along.

To help demonstrate that, I will proceed to prove that every single main character in Fairy Tail is a tsundere based on their definition.

I shall also be trying to counter all (and I mean all, so every little point... whew this is going to take a while...) the points made in this post, recommended to me by a helpful anonymous asker a long time ago, from the @f*ckyeahgr*via page, where the poster (Author) tries to prove that Gray is in fact a tsundere. (This takes place in Part 2.)

(In Part 3, I’ll give my own examples with pictures of Gray very clearly not being a tsundere.)

Really, the purpose of this post isn't to prove that Gray never likes juvia in the material, because clearly Mashima and his weak will bent to the desires of the Pro fandom in 100yq to force these two together, but it's just to prove that it's not like Gray loved juvia all along, which some Pro's try to defend to their grave. The importance of proving that is that it will show that Gray hasn't been a willing participant in juvia's harassment.

The only feasible reason he could ever like juvia later is thanks to the guilt juvia caused him to feel from her almost dying, as well as Stockholm Syndrome from being gaslit and manipulated into thinking they loved each other, all that as well as being written into a shell of his former character who acts more like juvia than himself, but that is beside the point of this post.

Finally, a disclaimer: my frustration is mainly directed at juvia and specifically at people who use these arguments to try to make their opposition look stupid, and it's just my frustration with this argument. Please know, in the end, these arguments are just for fun, and I don't actually have beef with Pros as human beings. Also, please no raids on that blog (which actually might be retired by now lol) or on the user who posted it. We're all civil enough people here.

Pheww, buckle in, guys, this is going to be kind of a tough one. (As well as super long and suuuper in depth).

Definition of Tsundere given by Pros:

One of the biggest difficulties with combating this argument is that the actual definition of "tsundere" isn't really used by Pros; they just use a similar idea related to a tsundere, and then claim that they're right based on their own definition.

One person who participated in my 'Request for Discussion' post commented something along the lines of "Gray is a tsundere because he doesn't talk about his feelings with anyone". I would like to quote them directly, but when I went back to check what they said, it seems they have deleted all their comments. (Interesting. That seems to be a regular occurrence with Pros on my blog).

In another instance, the person who wrote the 'why Gray is a tsundere' post that I'll be refuting in part 2 of this post, (Note well, I'll refer to them as 'Author' from now on, and the quotes from their post shall be orange), even though they never actually take the time to define what they think a tsundere is, said this about Gray:

"Again, [Gray] is HARSH and TSUNDERE towards those he cares the most about. He has insulted Natsu, Lyon, Ur, Erza (calls her a monster) and [j]UVIA. And, he also is embarrassed when his true feelings come to the surface, and tries hard to keep them private. He doesn’t want people to know HOW MUCH he cares, and because of that, he rarely talks about his feelings to anyone, let alone directly to the person he’s having those feelings for."

It's quite similar to what the first Pro said, though more in depth. For them, it boils down to "not talking about his feelings". I'll circle back around to this later.

First, let's take the Pros' definition of tsundere and run with it:

Let us say that the term 'tsundere' really only means that the tsundere doesn't talk about their feelings a lot with other people. (Remember, this is what Pros mean when they say what a tsundere is even though that isn't the actual definition.)

Then yes, Gray is a tsundere.

But here's the clincher.

If he is, then so is everyone else who exists in the Fairy Tail universe.

Yay, you win! Everyone, including Gray, which is the important part, is a tsundere!

Doesn't that sound completely ridiculous?

Of course it does. Let's break down that extremely faulty reasoning.

Refuting the Pros' Definition of Tsundere:

Let me ask you this:

Just how much do people in Fairy Tail actually talk about their feelings in normal circumstances on a regular basis? Literally, we should all take a moment to think about this.

Lucy's dad died? Well, she doesn't talk about it to anyone, not even to her best friends, Natsu and Happy, who followed her silently to his grave. She breaks down all by herself, alone in her apartment. Does she talk about how much losing Aquarius' key hurt her? Nope, not even that. She never even confides in people on how she likes Natsu, which is prime gossip material and not as private as a thing as grief for a dead parent is. Does any of that mean she's a tsundere? Not at all.

Natsu is super expressive, honest to the point of being ignorant and just plain dumb sometimes. He declares to anyone and everyone all the time just how much he cares for his guild, but does he sit down with people and talk about how Igneel leaving really made him feel, how abandoned and lonely he felt? Never. Talking about feelings is just not Natsu, and yet he's still clearly not an actual tsundere.

From Erza to Happy to anyone else in the whole anime, no one really goes out of their way to have a casual deep chat about their feelings ever, specifically about personal emotional trauma, but even about mundane feelings in general. Most of the time, they're all just chilling and goofing around and making jokes, because that's what you do with friends- not talking about your inner, personal turmoil doesn't make you a tsundere, i.e. it doesn't make you someone who's always irritable until they learn to be more open with people they like.

Anyway, these feelings and the words that describe them are just ripped out of them while they are fighting for their lives, which of course for them is quite often. Otherwise, they don't talk about it really, not even with the people they're closest to, and that's okay. It's their personal business. These are things that are good to process by yourself for yourself, and you really don't owe other people to let them in on your life. (*COUGH* if only juvia would leave Gray to his personal business *COUGH*).

Gray is no exception to any of this. He doesn't talk about his feelings much... but like I said, no one does. And it's not like he only confides in juvia, which you'd think would be the case if he were really a tsundere with juvia. (NO WONDER he doesn't talk to her about his feelings! Beyond just the fact that she never listens to him anyway, when he was sad after learning about Ultear's sacrifice, noticing it during the GMG parade, juvia told him she didn't know what was up with him, but that it was rude of him not to smile. she doesn't even ask him if he's ok, she just says he's being inconsiderate. Wow, I don't cuss much, but she's actually such an ass.)

And it's not like he never shares his feelings because even just one instance is when Wendy asks him if he’s okay after he learned about Ultear’s time spell during the Dragon King Festival-- hey look at that, juvia, Wendy actually cares how he's doing-- and he actually opened up immediately about what happened and his past to her. That's insanely not tsundere because Wendy is even a newer member of Team Natsu (I personally don't consider her as such), and yet Gray is comfortable enough to tell her his life story.

Even since the Galuna Island arc, which was basically Gray's full introduction to the readers/watchers, his emotions about Ur were open, raw, and visceral. Lucy for one was really concerned for him because it was clear that Gray was beyond upset once seeing Deliora. He was also so broken and betrayed by Lyon, and none of those emotions were hidden from anyone.

These are just a few examples of Gray not being embarrassed to let people know his true feelings, which directly contradict what the Pros were trying to prove.

But is Gray a tsundere in regard to the ACTUAL definition?

Let's look at the actual definitions of tsundere, compare Gray with them, and see if he fits the bill, shall we?

Well, here's some actual definitions I've found:

Wikipedia's:

"Tsundere is a Japanese term for a character development process that depicts a character with a personality who is initially cold, stern, stoic, harsh, temperamental, hotheaded before gradually showing a warmer, friendlier side over time."

2. Another longer, more in depth one from a website dedicated to the Dere types:

"Tsundere is a stock love interest who is usually stern, cold, and sometimes hostile to the person they like and others. They will occasionally let slip their warm and loving feelings hidden inside. They hide their feelings due to being shy, nervous, insecure, or simply unable to help acting badly in front of their crush.

The Japanese term "tsundere" refers to an outwardly violent character who "runs hot and cold", alternating between two distinct moods: "tsuntsun" meaning "aloof or irritable", and "deredere" meaning "lovey-dovey".

Tsundere is a Japanese term for a character development process that depicts a person who is initially cold (and sometimes even hostile), before gradually showing a warmer, friendlier side over time"

3. And one last one for good measure from Urban Dictionary:

"Tsundere (ツンデレ, pronounced tsɯndeɾe) is a Japanese term for a character development process that describes a person who is initially cold (and sometimes even hostile) before gradually showing a warmer, friendlier side over time. The word is derived from the terms tsun tsun (ツンツン), meaning to turn away in disgust, and dere dere (デレデレ) meaning to become 'lovey dovey'."

(Yes, they are pretty similar, but I think it's important to show the solidarity and regularity of the definitions over the different sites. Plus, they each give their own nuance).

So, does Gray fit the bill?

Something to note about tsunderes is that they're not only cold and harsh to their love interest; they tend to be cold and harsh towards everyone because that's a core part of their personality, that they're socially awkward at dealing with people. If Gray truly is a tsundere, then he should demonstrate his tsundere characteristics with more people beyond his rejections of juvia.

Looking at definition 1:

Here, it says tsundere is more than just how a person acts mean to someone they really like, it's a whole character development process of a whole personality. Gray's personality from the beginning has had nothing to do with being cold, stern, stoic, or harsh. Yes, he's temperamental and hotheaded sometimes, but that's in terms of his rivalry with Natsu and other guildmates, which isn't the tsundere kind where his temperamental side hides a secret feeling (which it does not ofc). Gray is far from stoic, as he's lively and vivacious from the very first episode he's in. He's not cold, he's got great humor and is passionate. He's not a mean person, he just has friendly rivalry with his friends. Even with meeting Lucy for the first time, he was immediately friendly to her and required no "warming up" to be close with her. Remember, here it's not saying tsundere is specifically just for romance.

Looking at definition 2:

Even this one specifically notes that tsunderes are usually "stern, cold, and sometimes hostile" with "the person they like and others". Remember, it's a part of their overall personality. The tsundere behavior is a character trait that doesn't just apply to their romantic interest, so, again, that means we'd need to see Gray's tsundere-ness affecting all his relationships.

A prime example of a tsundere is Nakiri Erina from Food Wars: Shokugeki no Soma. She's not only standoffish to Yukihara Soma, whom she clearly has a crush on, but to most people in general, she doesn't know how to be friendly. It's a part of her character. She was raised in a harsh environment and was isolated, so it makes sense.

Gray on the other hand? Is not socially awkward and has no problem making friends (again, look how quickly he got chummy with Lucy). He's not standoffish at all and is far from cold and "aloof or irritable" to anyone. Even to juvia, which is the important thing to Pros since they want to say he's a tsundere with her, he's not really cold... he's just supremely unnerved and made uncomfortable by her.

He's never even mean to her, he just rejects her and tries to get away from her sometimes. And he's not even doing that all the time! On the rare occasions that juvia is able to keep herself mostly from drooling all over Gray, like when he taught her how to eat that burrito, he's actually friendly to her. But only when she's not being an absolute weirdo and creep. That's not him being a tsundere, that's him being a nice guy, but being understandably creeped out by juvia's outlandish and disgusting behavior.

And when he's being nice to her, he's not being "lovey-dovey", he literally just treats her like a normal friend. It's only during 100yq that Gray actually begins to show he has romantic interest in juvia, and I'm not counting that because that's Mashima's idiocy, and Pros have been claiming Gray's been a tsundere since forever, so they can't even use 100yq as proof.

Looking at definition 3:

Again, Gray doesn't take time to warm up to people, the reason Gray "turns away in disgust" is because juvia is a disturbing individual, and lastly, he certainly doesn't ever act lovey-dovey with juvia in the main story of FT.

My conclusion after looking the definitions is that Gray is therefore not a tsundere, as it's not a core part of his personality and character to be initially cold or aloof towards people, and because he never actually acts cold or aloof with juvia, only uncomfortable and disturbed in a rightly manner.

(Feedback on anything in this post is appreciated!)

Edit: Just to make it clear, due to a kind suggestion by my good friend, @youthinkofacoolname, I have split this behemoth of a post into 3 parts so it's less intimidating and more digestible, and then tagging the next part at the end so it's easily accessible. So, here's the link to Part 2!

Part 3 is here as well.

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chief-kett · 7 months

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Hello!! I would like to ask your history (??) of drawing, that is, for example, where you started and what you think about your skills at the moment

And yet, I’ve been wanting to draw on my favorite ships for a long time, but they are problematic and I’m very scared to publish my work on the Internet (you know, wishing the worst and so on) Have you ever had this happen and if so,how did you deal with it (even if not, tell me what you think about it)

And your art is excellent, I love how the characters look together or more in the art(⁠✷⁠‿⁠✷⁠)

I began to be interested in drawing in the eighth grade (at 13-14 years old). It wasn't studying art or anything serious, I was just escaping from the real world, drawing characters from MLP (after that I drew FNAF, since this was the time of the birth of the game and all these theories). MLP and FNAF is the beginning of my “career” as an artist. At this beginning, I refused to call myself an artist, I was simply ashamed to be called an artist, because I considered myself unworthy of this title. I just didn't know at the time that there was a name for "emerging artist" lol. For years I just continued to draw what I liked and didn't care what other people thought. I did what I really liked. Then I learned what shippers, pairings and yaoi are. And it blew my mind! My art almost completely turned into fan art with my favorite pairings (my forever first OTP is randicon, which later almost completely eclipsed pompous pep). Somewhere in the same period, I started reading fan fiction, and later began writing them myself. Then I created my blog on tumblr, which currently no longer exists due to one mistake. And this mistake is precisely connected with the problematic maxvid pairing. To put it bluntly, I published adult/child pornographic art on my old blog. I did it out of emotion - I was angry for a reason. Only a few days later I thought that I had made a mistake and wanted to delete the post, but I didn’t have time because my blog was deleted or something like that. I wasn't upset, even though this blog had been alive for many years - about 7 years to be exact. I came to terms with it very quickly and saw this as a chance to start with a clean slate. And now here I am, “reborn as a phoenix.” I still send maxvid and pompous pep (which is also considered problematic). And, yes, I have slight doubts before publishing art, but I quickly reassure myself that this is fiction and those people who don’t like such crap can simply block me so that I don’t get on their radar. Just because I ship problematic pairings doesn't mean I support them in real life. No. Any genuine violation of the law is condemned. And yet, I just don’t care about other people’s opinions. I haven't done anyone any real harm. I don't force anyone to look at my work. If someone stumbled upon my work by accident, it is not my fault. This is the Internet. There's a lot of crap here that you might unintentionally step on. If you want to publish your work, it is important to evaluate where you can publish it. To publish or not to publish is your decision. In any case, you will surely find your audience. And thank you for liking my work! This is very nice and important for me :3

#txt

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sacarvos · 3 years

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I don’t really use this blog, obviously, but I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest, as a lot of others have done...

Dumb, rambly stream-of-consciousness garbage likely with a lot of grammatical/spelling errors. Might delete later because I don’t think my musings are really beneficial to anybody haha

I know the “conversation” so to speak is probably mostly all done and over with but I just need to get this out:

I’m sort of unsure on how to feel about the Vinny Vinesauce situation?

Even though the evidence in the doc is spotty, I don’t doubt that there is some truth and validity to it. I sympathize wholeheartedly with the victims.

I think a lot of stuff in the doc (i.e., a shit-ton of personal information about Vinny) should have been redacted/censored for his privacy’s sake. Even just learning about any of it in passing felt... wrong.

Him hooking up with fans is morally questionable for the most part imo because of power imbalances. I’ve heard people defending him and claiming that there’s no such dynamic, however, I’d like to counterpoint that the imbalance is that he has far much more figures backing him up if/when he does something wrong or questionable, in contrast to anybody he may have an issue with who may be just a relatively ordinary person with zero influence and potentially use his own as leverage so as to keep people from speaking up about his wrongdoings. It’s frustrating how it seems as if VS fans are totally ignoring the part in the doc where he considered leaking revenge p*rn of a person if he had to resort to it... People interpreted it as just something he said in the heat of the moment. I honest to god would like to believe that, and I hope that’s the case but... Man, even just him even thinking of the idea and admitting to it is painful enough... I mean I know our internal thoughts don’t necessarily reflect our morals in their entirety but still.. Idk...

I know I’ve been making him out to be a bad person so far but the truth is, I sincerely want to believe that Vinny is just a generally good guy who did stupid things... I don’t blame him for wanting privacy; he probably just could’ve executed it with these hookups far better and kinder than he had.

Admittedly, I still kind of want to watch his streams/videos but would that be wrong of me to do? Would it be putting salt in the wounds of the people he hurt? I haven’t really been able to completely watch any of his recent videos lately because of this lol

Like my brain is doing dumb splitting gymnastics on how I am supposed to feel/think of the situation. I want to be as best as I can and believe what’s right. But here I’m just confused. People should be allowed second chances when they fuck up, right? But that doesn’t invalidate the harm they have done! They still hurt people! But at the same time, none of us are obligated to any of this information! It doesn’t concern us so we don’t have to know!!!

Ugh, I don’t know...

What’s frustrating of all imo though is how the majority of the VS community reacted. A lot of them were outright dismissive of the accusations rather than actually taking some time to examine them and make a decision based on that, and instead came to his defense almost as if solely because they like him and his content. And even though Vinny said not to harass anybody involved, a lot of them did anyway. I thought this community had matured over the years and I was genuinely happy for them, but most fans’ reaction to the situation just proved that wrong...

Ugh, anyway, out of anything to come out of all this, I kind of wish Vinny would apologize to the people he’s hurt. It doesn’t have to be publicly necessarily, but, idk... Just some form of reassurance to where everybody can put this all behind us... It would make my heart rest easy...

#Skelliboy speaks #text heavy #long post #Vinny Vinesauce #Vinesauce #not really all that important; might delete later because who cares lol #it'd be a little reassuring if other people felt the same tho //shrugs #only gonna keep it in the tag for a little bit just in case others wanna talk about it and/or feel the same

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wof-reworked · 3 years

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I don’t want to reblog the post in question because like. I generally like the people involved in it but there’s a post about Qibli going around rn that is making me legitimately kind of mad so let’s talk about Qibli and where Tui fucked up with him, but also where she didn’t

(this is going to get a little bit aggressive, I might end up deleting this because it is an impassioned rant of sorts, but it’s on my mind as more people talk about Qibli)

(please, keep in mind: I don’t think all of his behavior is healthy. This dragon needs some goddamn therapy. But I think the distinction between unhealthy vs destructive is important. I talk about this later)

SO.

The idea that Qibli is manipulative for having very clear self loathing and trauma is, quite frankly, disgusting?? Like did you forget that a really, really common trauma response is to latch onto people who are kind to you in your life??? The idea that Qibli only acts like he cares about Thorn, his fucking adoptive mother, to get her to pay attention to him is a wild stretch and such a butchering of their relationship I’m genuinely still trying to comprehend it.

Qibli thinks Thorn hung the moon because, honestly, when you’re deprived of kindness, having it freely given feels like magic. And Thorn is one of the few dragons in Qibli’s life that has given him any amount of genuine compassion. And we see this with Moon too, the fact she thinks of him as smart and kind himself is something new and kind of shocking for Qibli. This is only emphasized by the fact she’s seen into his thoughts and finds someone she loves there. He thinks of Moon as being way too good for him (and he doesn’t understand why she likes *him*, or if she does at all) and it shows.

Like I know the point they’re trying to get at with this analysis, but it’s such a strange reading of the text. Qibli comparing himself to Winter in his thoughts is not the same thing as him pressuring Moon to choose him, if you remember, Qibli still has a piece of skyfire, meaning his thoughts are blocked from Moon’s. He isn’t thinking these things in an active attempt to pressure Moon, these are just his thoughts! He isn’t trying to pressure Moon into being in a relationship with him, he is just a deeply self loathing character, and her response reflects that with how she replies “don’t overthink this. say yes” BECAUSE QIBLI HAS BEEN, IF ANYTHING ELSE, DELIBERATELY AVOIDING TRYING TO PUT HER IN A POSITION WHERE SHE IS HIS ONLY OPTION. LIKE THIS WHOLE BOOK IS HIM GOING “I don’t want to pressure Moon into a relationship, I love her but I want what’s best for her”. AND SHE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE KNOWS SHE’S SINCERE AND WANTS THIS TOO.

And related to this: Him thinking about Winter is not about trying to garner sympathy from Moon or make himself the one who needs her attention, it’s based off genuinely feeling Winter brings more to the table and would be better for her. I’ll say it again: Qibli is a deeply insecure dragon who doubts his own skills constantly, that’s the root of him comparing himself to Winter.

SO: EVERYTHING I’VE DESCRIBE IS UNHEALTHY. LIKE THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY WAY TO LIVE. BUT IT’S NOT MANIPULATIVE. I think what I would call Qibli is, more than anything, codependent. His relationships with Moon and Thorn involve idolizing them to an unhealthy degree and placing them on a pedestal where everything they do is right. I would’ve loved to see this get actually explored in canon.

Now. I do want to point out Qibli’s book is not actually very good lol. Qibli is also never wrong, which is boring and bad storytelling. He solves everything put in front of him and always comes out perfectly fine and forgiving. I would’ve loved to see him as a more complex character, and honestly a better written character here’s how BPD qibli can still win- *I am dragged off-stage by a comically long hook*

And it’s worth mentioning: Part of Qibli being written without meaningful flaws is that this is presented as his genuine thoughts and feelings and reality. Qibli is not an unreliable narrator like Darkstalker or Peril. So the idea he’s “acting” or otherwise pretending to have these feelings is a really bad read.

Not to get personal, but Qibli as a character matters to me a lot. As someone who struggles with a lot of the same inner monologue to the point of being brought to tears when I read this book the first time, this book and the message mean a lot to me. The idea that that inner monologue is indicative of being manipulative is the kind of rhetoric that lead to me feeling like I was manipulating people into caring about me when I shared my problems. That idea has actively sabotaged relationships in my life, and I cannot stress how much I hate it. That the only way to be mentally ill is to suffer in silence away from the world because sharing your feelings with loved ones is forcing them to care about you.

I understand being annoyed by Qibli’s narration. I like a lot of Qibli critical analysis. Do not take this as me mindlessly defending this character. But I do not like the rhetoric I’m seeing passed around AT ALL.

so y’know. If you can have compassion for Winter, you can have compassion for Qibli.

#qibli #qibli wof #qibli the sandwing #wof #wings of fire #ok to reblog #do not take this the wrong way I have respect for the ppl who reblogged the post and like. I generally like the content the person who made-#-the post makes. I don't have any actual ill will towards them #but god #sometimes. trauma victims. are traumatized #WILD CONCEPT I KNOW #if this is ur approach to someone clearly in pain and trying their best to be a good person idk if I feel safe around you

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ootahime · 3 years

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what is utahime’s role in the future? — a prediction (manga spoilers)

part 1 (unedited)

I WAS ABOUT TO POST IT BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT AND I WAS SO HURT FR!!!!! I HAD REWRITE THIS ENTIRE THING </33

part 2 is here!

in this post, i will be analyzing the information we’ve been given about utahime so far to form a prediction about her future role in the jujutsu kaisen series. if you’re as interested in utahime’s character as i am, please feel free to keep reading :3 (i’ll also be talking about her relationship with gojo a bit too)

soukatsu_ on twt!

kaikaikitan on twt!

utahime iori is a semi-grade 1 sorcerer working as a student supervisor/teacher at kyoto jujutsu high school. she loves drinking beer and going to karaoke. she’s also close friends with shoko and she’s not particularly fond of gojo most of the time. what else do we know about her?

hates sweets (funny she’s the complete opposite of gojo)

she’s great at singing and it’s a huge part of her technique

squabbling with gojo became a reflex :3

everyone absolutely adores utahime

loves watching soccer and baseball

a terrible drunk (worse than naobito zenin)

gojo is her main source of stress

let’s dive into her personality and abilities!

chapter 65

before i get into it, i think it’d be best if i were to explain the timeline because a lot of people seem to be confused about this one particular thing. utahime is born on february 18th, 1987. contrary to popular belief, she is not 3 years older than gojo. it is november 2018 in the story because gojo was sealed on halloween. if gojo was born on december 7th, 1989, that would mean that right now, he is only 28 years old. he has yet to turn 29.

the year is 2007. gojo satoru is a second year at tokyo jujutsu high school. the japanese school year begins in april which suggests that gojo is only 17 at the time (even if it’s not april, it doesn’t look like winter yet so it’s unlikely that he’s already 18). utahime is 20 because it is past february. she is a 2nd grade sorcerer at the age of 20. that’s not bad at all!

chapter 65 introduces young utahime and mei on a mission together within a cursed site. in real time, they’ve been gone for two days which is a cause of concern for gojo, shoko, and geto because the two haven’t contacted anyone since the beginning of their mission. the two begin to suspect something is wrong because the hallway markers they’ve set in place disappeared, and no matter how far they travel within the halls, the end is nowhere in sight. mei theorizes that the cursed spirit is overlapping the space as they travel forward. utahime agrees with this speculation and proposes a plan to escape the cursed spirit’s grasp by moving erratically. notice how she says that if one of them should escape, they can try to attack from the outside or call for help. if utahime was not capable of inflicting damage on anything then she would have told mei to escape and attack if she can while she waited to be rescued. however, she didn’t. she included herself in the sentence which leads me to believe that she is capable of going on the offense if needed.

keep in mind that at this point in time, mei is a grade 1 sorcerer. she is knowledgeable about all things involving jujutsu because she is experienced and skillful. we can see this aspect of her character illustrated when she theorizes that the cursed spirit is messing with the space they’re in. she chooses to go with utahime’s plan because she agrees that it’s the best action moving forward. this verifies that utahime is an intelligent girl that’s able to get along with pretty much anyone.

her intellect is demonstrated once again in chapter 79. she was able to deduce the possibility of there being more than one traitor and the fact that one is probably a higher up. she also narrowed down the mechamaru as the mole of kyoto not because he was acting suspicious but by process of elimination. she thought thoroughly of his technique and how easy it would be for him to manipulate devices small enough to be undetectable.

sure you can argue that she should already know all her students’ abilities and whatnot but you have to admit that it’s hard trying to sniff out the traitor when no one is acting suspicious. in addition to that, how did she know that there was a traitor in the top brass? i would have never guessed that tbh LOL (maybe bc im an idiot).

okay, now that we have established that she’s intelligent, let’s answer a more important question. is utahime weak?

chapter 33

if gojo calls utahime weak, does that mean there is some truth to it? well it is true that she is weaker than him because he’s the strongest and all. in my opinion, he’s just teasing her. he probably found that calling her weak is what really riles her up. maybe i’ll talk about why he loves teasing her so much in a later post. but anyway, gojo calls everybody and their mom weak. he even said jogo was weak and we know how powerful that guy is. gojo’s words alone do not indicate much about utahime’s power. in fact, i don’t even think he has seen her use her technique yet. he’s probably only ever heard of how it works. this is what i think their conversation about her technique was like:

gojo: hm? ur cursed technique is singing? can u show me?

utahime: what! no way!

gojo: why not?

*one of the classmates tells him that she can only use her CT once in a while because it consumes a lot of energy*

gojo: hahaha! u have to conserve cursed energy to use ur CT? why are u so weak, utahime?

utahime: i! am! your! senpai! respect! me!

what i’m trying to say is that gojo loves poking fun of people. we should not believe him when he calls someone weak because compared to him, everyone is weak.

this is a little off topic but let’s examine him telling her, “and you don’t have the nerves, utahime.” i think he’s trying to say that there’s no way she’ll ever do something like that because she’s not the type to put her students in danger. remember the soft expression and relieved smile on her lips when she said that she was glad the students were safe after the kyoto incident? gojo was directly in front of her so not only did he hear her say that, but he could have seen the look on her face too. even if he told her that she didn’t have the guts to betray the school to get on her nerves, he knew that utahime simply cared too much about the students so he ruled her out as a suspect right away. this is why he ultimately decided to confide in her and ask her to help him.

i’m a person who loves over-analyzing things. i really enjoy the dynamic between gojo and utahime. they’ve known each other for more than 11 years and although they always bicker, there is an unspoken feeling of trust between the two. gojo can do anything and everything by himself because he is truly the strongest person alive, but he still knows when to rely on others. him deciding to entrust utahime with such a job implies that he believes in utahime’s abilities.

chapter 52

she’s not using any cursed energy here--not to our knowledge at least. this is just pure skill. she was able to swiftly evade the swing from haruta. he was surprised himself considering the fact that he was right behind her. how do we know her CT isn’t speed? after haruta swung at her, we can see that some of her hair got cut off. if she was using her CT then speed should be her specialty. she should have been able to completely avoid the attack altogether but she didn’t. of course this isn’t a wow moment because jujutsu sorcerers should know how to dodge attacks, however, i’m just trying to get the point across that she’s not a defenseless person without her technique or others. let’s not forget that semi-grade 1 isn’t a weak rank either. you can’t simply be recommended to be a grade 1 sorcerer if you only can support others.

chapter 48

i want to bring up this panel. it suggests that utahime and takuma are sorcerers who have not experienced black flash and therefore, do not understand the essence of cursed energy as well as those who have like gojo and nanami. i find it strange how takuma and utahime were used to represent sorcerers who haven’t experienced it yet. is the purpose to demonstrate that there is a clear difference in skill between adult sorcerers like utahime and takuma compared to gojo and nanami? i could be nitpicking but the order of todo’s statement doesn’t line up with the sorcerers being shown. let me explain in depth. todo starts off by saying, “for those who have experienced black flash as compared to those who have not...” wouldn’t it make more sense to show gojo and nanami on the right side to represent sorcerers who have experienced black flash? that was mentioned first, after all. gojo and nanami should appear when todo says “for those who have experience black flash” while utahime and takuma should be shown right after to personify the second part, “as compared to those who have not.” i’m just making it more complicated than it actually is LOLOL i’m sure it really just means they haven’t experienced black flash yet, which is completely fine. i also find it fascinating how they used utahime to contrast gojo. with nanami and takuma it makes sense. nanami is someone takuma looks up to, he wants to gain nanami’s approval before he deems himself worthy of a promotion. what about utahime and gojo? what’s the purpose of comparing those two together when it’s obvious that gojo knows more about the essence of cursed energy more than anyone else? i might be delusional whoops

----

let me know what you guys think? this is only a part 1 so i haven’t gotten around to answering the question. i’m pretty much done with the second part, i just need to revise it a little. i think after i post part 2, i’ll try to interpret all the gojo and utahime moments in the manga >.<

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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xavadak3davrax · 4 years

Text

Crisis of lust /George Weasley

Lawyer!George

Summary: Fred and George are the most powerful lawyers England has seen in years and y/n is fresh out of college and looking for a place to do her internship. What happens when George decides to hire her? A lot of things.

Warnings: Smut (18+), daddy kink, dom/sub (Dom George) and if you squint very much dom y/n for mere seconds. Spanking, female receiving oral, male receiving oral, unprotected sex (because somehow I find that hot lol). There’s angst and fluff and mentions of things such as anxiety and more sad moments but nothing extreme!

a/n: this is lawyer George, it’s 11.7 k words. I got carried away and ended up making this in only one part aha. As always English in not my first language, any mistakes or wrongly worded phrases, please excuse me. Titles are not my thing so yeah this is just horrendous. As a lot of people around tumblr say: don’t be shy, reblog! Thank you so much to everyone who even takes time to read my stuff. Love you all!

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Weasley’s Law Firm was the most famous law firm in whole England. They were known for hiring the best of the best. They also got the worse of the cases there is. Fred and George worked extremely hard on those cases and that’s what got them where they are today. Every murder case there was they were the first, people came to.

They had all the knowledge, all the experience, all the fame. Although they started small, they very quickly became who they are today because they are that good. Now both of them only take on the biggest cases and usually they came from very famous people, otherwise they keep themselves busy by taking their firm a step further.

While Fred was busy working on a case from a famous singer who was now being accused of murdering his wife and a whole lot of love affairs in between, George was working on another very important thing.

Interns. Every year their firm hired at least two interns. Becoming an intern for them was extremely difficult, and the skills required were almost never met (reason why they either ended up with one intern, or none at all). The type of work they needed from them was not fetching coffee or take some copies of some documents. They required their help all the time and their knowledge. Last year they had taken two, top of the class and they showed to be so good they recommended them to another very good law firm that took them in that moment. How could they not? Coming from the Weasley Firm they were the best of the best.

This year however things were proven to be a lot more difficult. It looked like anyone wanted to join them, people with so little qualification that George wondered how they even met the requirements to apply to their firm. Universities usually advised certain students, who they knew not to be good, or had the necessary demands, to just not attempt their chance at it.

George’s headache was even stronger now, and it only had been two hours since he started.

“Mate need your help.” Fred’s voice took him out of his trance and made him look at his brother. George nodded and Fred put the documents on his secretary. Pointed with his head towards them and George picked them up and had a look.

“Oh shit.” George said, laughing a little loudly. “She was involved with his assistant. That does make him suspicious. Finds out his wife his sleeping with his assistant, feels betrayed, takes his chance when she’s in the pool, makes it look like an accident.” George looked at his brother who nodded.

“I mean yeah, but to confirm that theory we need acces to the cameras he has displayed around his house. He’s been refusing that since the beginning, told him how that makes him a suspicious and that he should just give us those, since we’re trying to help him not get convicted. Any advice?”

“Ginny is very good with persuasion, maybe we should give her a call? She’s always our best chance.” George suggested, and when Fred widen his eyes, he knew he had had a brilliant idea.

“Yeah thanks mate. I will. By the way still looking for interns?” Fred nodded to the papers in front of him. He had to look through every curriculum.

“Yes, this year is proving to be hard. Everyone thinks they can get in, almost everyone had a bad average grade.” He brough his hands to his red bright hair and pulled at his hard, letting a groan leave his mouth. “Can’t take this shit anymore.”

Fred came around the secretary and leaned down next to him to get a better look at the people he was looking at. All of sudden his hand came to the table and pointed at girl. “Look, she finished top of her class, with 20.” George opened his eyes and looked at where he was pointing.

“How did I miss her?” it came out in a whisper, only because George was a little loss at her beauty. Sure he had seen a lot of beautiful girl applying to his firm, and he had a lot of them working for them, but he never saw anyone like her.

He tried to pull if thought out that. She was no minor, after all she had finished college and was looking for a place to do her internship at, but that didn’t mean it would not be wrong.

“I don’t know, but you did. And let’s look at the rest…” Fred said in a wondering voice his finger coming over the list of names. “You also have, his name is Elias, he’s in the same situation as y/n.” He looked at his brother, then got up from the crouched position he was in. “You were making a big fuss. I mean I clearly understand your point, besides these two no one else is even close. But I found you the interns. I have to do your job and mine.” He joked in the end earning from George a punch in his arm. That made Fred groan.

“Go on about your day asshole, I will take care of the rest. But thanks for the help.” George screamed the last part a little because Fred was already exiting the door and closing her.

So George arranged his secretary so the only things in front of him was y/n’s and Elias resumes and applications so he could read them and actually decide if they were to be hired or not. And if yes proceed to send an email to them to tell them the news.

Some people might think they would prefer to give this job to their secretaries and let them do this. But one year they did that, and ended up with some of the worse people they could find, just didn’t know how to do the simplest of jobs. It might sound mean, but they had a reputation to maintain.

So every year they alternated had to who had this job. This year it had been him. And after an hour of so of reading everything, he did decide to hire them. So he proceed to write their acceptance email.

⚘

y/n was sitting in her sofa, a tub of her favorite ice cream in her hand. She was in her last week of collage (ever) and she was patiently waiting to receive any type of email from the firm she had applied to do her internship.

She would be lying also if she said she hadn’t receive some emails already accepting her. The problem? Well they were all last options, those were she said to herself ‘if I don’t get in it I will need something to cushion the fall’ her mother had told her that expression and it stuck with her to this day.

y/n really, really wanted to work for The Weasleys. They were the best of the best, everyone was racing to get a place in their firm. She wanted to be confident, with her grades how could she not? But she also knew a lot of people were had good has her, she for sure would be competing with the best of the best.

She was close to answering one of the emails of the firms she already got an email from.

She sighed. Looked at the pot of ice cream and then got up to go get her computer. When she had it she came back to the sofa and slumped on the couch and groaned quietly. That stupid horrid anxious feeling coming down on her. Every time for the last few days when she was to open her pc that’s how she felt. That desire to see an email from that firm.

When she opened it for a few seconds she didn’t get any notifications.

“Fucking stupid computer.” She muttered, sometimes her pc didn’t connect to the Wi-Fi and she hated that. Because then she would get millions of notifications that she didn’t get because she wasn’t connected. But it connected a few seconds later and she was flooded with messages.

In between all of those if she wasn’t paying any attention she would’ve missed it, probably deleted it too. The email she was so dreading. She didn’t know how they worked. Did they sent an email if you didn’t get in? or did they just sent if you got in? some firms would do both. Not that y/n had gotten any, every single one was accepting her and very eager to work with her.

With trembling fingers, and her breath caught in her throat she open the email, but closed her eyes quickly before she could read what it said.

“breath, everything is going to be ok. Even if you don’t get in, you have a lot of other option.” She pepped talked herself, and then after what felt like an eternity to compose herself, opened her eyes and started reading.

Her mouth moved but no sound came out as she read through every word. The words “congratulations” “we’ve accepted you” “we wait for your response for further meetings” making her mind go dizzy. And then a scream left her lips.

“I got in, Oh my god I got in.” She almost threw her computed on the ground from how happy she was. Every night she didn’t sleep, every night out she had denied her friends, every hour in the library and every cent her parents had spent on her was worth it.

Her parents weren’t rich or even close to it, but they had promised her and her siblings that they would pay for their education until they could. When she had entered the best university and the most expensive she told her parents she would find work and pay for everything. They told her no. Her mom and dad found each a second job and payed for it, even finding a small flat in the middle of nowhere but still close to where she attended, for her to stay in. And now, everything they ever did for her was paying of.

After calming herself down she started to formulate a response to the email. And then proceeded to call her parents, steric and with a smile they were sure they could hear and see from the other side of the phone.

⚘

She started today. Although very happy and grateful for the opportunity she couldn’t help but let the nerves consume her. Some money she had money a little while a go from some old clothes she sold, she decided to spent it on a new suit. She didn’t very much like dresses, and skirts. In all the important meetings and presentations she had throughout her years in collage, she always wore suits.

But for her first day on the firm, and to give a good impression she couldn’t just wear one of the old ones. So she bought this black suit. The pants were all black and a little tight and came to rest on her ankles. The jacket of the suit had a little cleavage and was supposed to not be worn with anything underneath. She had only her bra in, one you wouldn’t be able to see. The jacket closed beautifully around her, and made some of the nerves subside. Her confidence radiating all over her. ´

She looked at herself one last time in her mirror and then picked up her purse and rested it on her shoulder.

“You can do this.” y/n murmured as she closed the door of her apartment and made her way to catch the bus. A bus were if her plans were correct, she would arrive 30 minutes earlier, but she didn’t care. She wouldn’t have to get in until the hour they had arranged, but at least she knew she would be there at said hour and not be late on her first day.

Can you imagine, being late on your first fucking day and give her (hopefully) new bosses that impression? They would deny her right then and there and she would not have the chance to show her potential.

As planned she arrived early. Their firm was one of the biggest and modern building in the city so it wasn’t hard to miss. She decided to get herself a little comfort drink while she made the time pass. When only five minutes were left for her interview she entered the firm. Everything was spacious, and very open and they got all the light in here that was possible. She felt small in such a big space. Although taking and studying law, she always had social anxiety. The friends she had were the most amazing people and took her right under their wing and always made her feel safe. She wishes they were here to help her.

“Hi, my name is y/n y/l/n, I’m here for an interview, I-“ her words came a little shaky. She took a deep breath and smiled at the lady behind the big counter, her face had a smile that made y/n a little less nervous.

“You’re here because you are the intern right?” she completed her sentence and then wrote something on her computer. “The other intern is also here. You both will be interviewed at the same time, Mr and Mr Weasley will both be in there to talk you through everything.” She gave her something of a smile. “You can take the lift, they’re in the last floor. Iris, their personal secretary will instruct you when to come in.”

“Thank you so much.” y/n said, bid her good day and then went on her way. When she got to the second floor she was met with a beautiful modern entrance that had some very good looking and comfortable chairs in. In the middle a glass table with some law magazines. ‘of course,’ she thought to herself ‘what else would they have here’ she laughed a little.

She she looked better she found a tall, blonde guy sitting in one of the chairs. The white button down he wore had hugging his muscles very well, y/n might’ve felt drool pulling in her mouth. It only intensified when she looked at his pants and the way they hugged his legs. His black necktie made everything look together. He didn’t wore a jacket that’s why. The jacket was hanging in the arm chair.

“You must be y/n.” he said, getting up from his position to come and greet her. His hand stretched out, the veins in his hands very prominent. She had to put herself together, she was here to work.

“Yes, and you are?” she was a little lost, the lady downstairs hadn’t told her his name, but told him hers.

“Elias, it’s a pleasure.”

“pleasure is all mine.” She smiled.

“The lady at the front told me to wait here, she will call us when they’re ready for us. Do you for any reason know how they look?” He asked quietly trying not to bring attention from the people working in this floor. From what y/n understood, their offices were here, and their secretary was also here but some other people worked here to. Potential important lawyers?

“Ahm… no, not really. Tried to look them up but no photos. Very private aren’t they? Wonder how they do it, being so well known among everyone. Specially famous people.” y/n said when she brought her thoughts to focus on Elias again. She sitting next to him and they chatted for a little, until they were called.

“They will see you now. You can go down the hall, and it’s the last door to your right. It’s the meeting room.” Iris spoke eloquently, and that made y/n and Elias share a worried look before they got on their merry way.

“That made a little nervous, I mean, didn’t expect much less from someone who works with such big people, but… you know what I mean?” Elias spoke, worry in his voice. Not being able to form many words do to her being nervous, y/n just nodded.

“Do the honors.” y/n managed to let out, a small and brief smile on her face. Elias opened the door after knocking and hearing a ‘come in’ from inside.

The table wasn’t full of people but fore sure y/n would have a hard time, until they introduced themselves, knowing who Fred and George were. They had invited other lawyers, she assumed, from their position and all, she had to be. She was now regretting accepting this.

“Please com in and have a seat.” One man with spiky, red hair pointed to the chairs that had y/n’s and Elias name. They proceeded to do just that.

“I’m George, this is my brother Fred, and these are some of our best lawyers. Please don’t be frightened we just like to make sure the interns we are giving a chance have actual potential and are not just ‘grades’, that’s why they are here.”

y/n had to swallow very hard and hope to not be heard. If she was gonna have to work here and look at that all day was she gonna be able to do it? God helped her. If she thought Elias was attractive mere ten minutes ago… what did she thought of these two men, who were clearly twins but somehow had differences that made her more attractive to the one who was speaking.

“We are going to make a series of questions, from all of us and see how you answer and handle very specific situations. “ It was Fred speaking, he held what she expected to be a smile on his face, while his brother had a way more serious demeanor.

They nodded, not knowing if they should speak or not. George held his eye on the girl slightly longer than he did on Elias. She was more beautiful here than in the picture she had presented in her portfolio. How could he handle that? And if they kept her she was to work on their floor all the time? He needed to control himself, now.

The questions started and they alternated between y/n and the boy next to her, making sure the majority of the questions were different for both of them, to actually see their potential and not some copy of the others answer.

When it ended y/n felt like her heart could be heard by everyone around her and that it would come out of her chest. She didn’t have a very good perspective on things, in a way, if they were good or bad. So she didn’t know if she had done a good job, the faces everyone had at the table didn’t help a little.

Elias gave her a look, a reassuring one. And under the table, like they’ve knew each other for years he squeezed her hand gently.

“I think you both did an amazing job, I think everyone agrees?” Fred gave a questioning look around, starting at his brother and then to their co-workers. Everyone was nodding. “So I think this is all, you are hired as our interns.”

She could scream again, like she did when she had gotten the email saying she was accepted. But she controlled herself. Gave Elias hand a squeeze back and when everyone got up they both followed them.

“I think my brother will now sort with you both every last detail. I won’t be present mainly because I have an import case to work on, but we trusted each other with our lives. So you won’t miss me.” Fred tried to loosen the mood with a small inexistent joke.

Everyone started to leave and only left George, y/n and Elias there.

“If you would follow me please, my office will be a bit more comfortable than these chairs.” He passed through them and like lost puppies they followed to his office.

They spent hours talking about everything. George wanted them to be on the same page, and following everything precisely. y/n tried her best to memorize every word he said, but it started to get harder when after a while George felt bored of his position and dragged his chair away from his desk and then crossed his right leg over his left knee, leaving him in a powerful and extremely hot position that made y/n have to cross her legs and try to be as discreet as possible while trying to alleviate some of the pressure she had.

Why was she acting like a stupid teenager? For heavens sake, this was her work place, that was her boss, and she should not even thinking about him as other than that. But when his hands came to rest on his crotch her attention switched to the very prominent bulge he presented. Her eyes were not there for even a minute, but she still felt guilty when she looked up to see him looking at her. She looked away fast. He continued with what he was saying.

y/n hoped Elias was oblivious to the situation.

After while George got himself of that position and looked at both of them.

“This is everything, if for any reason something comes up you can always ask Iris, or any other thing, email me or my brother or ask Iris to speak with us. Right?”

He popped his tong and proceeded to get up when everything was settled.

⚘

Their first official day started the next day. And then after that is was smooth sail for a while. y/n helped Fred a lot in his cases and he loved how she was just so vibrant to have around. Took him a while to get her out of her shell, to show her she could treat him as a friend rather then her boss. He felt like he somehow could trust her a lot and when they were very concentrated on a job and they were both tired he would tell her bits and pieces of his life. Usually about his girlfriend Angelina and how they’ve been tighter for years and he is thinking of proposing. Or how he feels old and wished he could be an intern all over again. To which y/n would say:

“Aren’t you considered the youngest and most successful lawyer of all time?” Those were facts, Fred and George were in fact all of that. At twenty five they had a massive empire, that they built from scratch and with only the help of a very few close ones.

He would share small details of his childhood, of him and George. Usually those gave y/n some hope that George would one day be to her what Fred was to her. But until now all she got from him were small short and cold answers from anything she was working on. Usually Fred asked her to go bribe them out of him. Elias was the one who worked more closely to George and even him was usually in other lawyers offices doing close work with them.

“George is stubborn and weird sometimes. He always loves to work with you lot, I don’t understand why this year is different.” Fred stated, looking at y/n for a moment and shrugging when he couldn’t find an answer to it.

“Mister knows everything and everything needs some closure, is now left speechless.” y/n joked and they both laughed a little loud. His office door open because the case they were working on required y/n to leave all the time in search for answers. They didn’t notice George at the door.

He cleared his throat. Fred looked at him, and y/n that on the other side of the desk, back to George turned around to also look.

“Elias is sick and had to go home, I have come important matters to take care of, would it be a nuisance if y/n could do it?” She noticed he spoke more to his borther than to her.

“Sure, what she was doing can continue tomorrow or whenever Elias comes back. Right y/n?”

“Yes of course. Mr. Weasley you just have to show me what to do.” She got up and showed herself ready to work. After her first day her clothes were a little bit more casual, but she still wore pants, but George still had dificlty in not imagining those beautiful legs wrapped around his head.

‘Get your head out of your gutter George’ he always thought to himself when these thoughts came, ‘she’s young, and working for you.’

“Yes, come with me.” He instructed and turned around to leave. y/n waved to Fred and closed the door after she left. She knew her work with him wasn’t nearly done, but without Elias she would have to split herself in two and help both of them. Since Fred always had her help, he would have to to what he could for the time being without her.

“We have to through all these voice messages, the case calls for it and four ears are better than just two.” His voice was always so serious how could he work like this? Elias never complained to y/n on their lunch break or when they decided to do something outside work, that almost always ended up in work talk. They just didn’t have much in common besides that.

“yes sure, can you give me paper and pen or a pencil will do just fine.” George gave her a puzzled look “Well with Mr. Weasley every time there’s voice calls or something we take notes to pin point important stuff.” George knew that by Mr. Weasley she meant Fred but she knew that outside she called him Fred, they were that close. She had only ever heard Mr. Weasley came out of her mouth when it was related to him.

“Yeah you’re totally right. Here. Have this.” He gave her the notebook in front of him, the one that had all the important notes on the case. She sat down on the chair in the same place of Fred’s office and waited for him to start the audios.

She placed her head on her hand, and her elbow was resting on the desk. She looked at George who just started the audios and the tried to concentrate. Silently throughout all the time she was there she took many notes, George was a little taken aback, what was he missing that she clearly wasn’t, when it ended she looked at him. He barely had time to start something because she started first.

“So according to the first call, the lady in question didn’t know the person on the other side, but that person knew her very well, otherwise how could they be so sure of such personal information. The thing was she wasn’t paying attention and didn’t notice any of the signs of what was to come.” y/n started, and when she continued talking and demonstrated so well everything he didn’t dare to interrupt her. Although by the end he knew the girl in front of him has just solved him the case. He was also a little embarrassed because some of his notes were not has good as hers.

“You just solved me a casa.” George said astonished with what had just happened, his mouth opened in surprise and the look y/n gave him was brilliant.

“Did I? Really?” She couldn’t hold her happiness, although working here for a while and helping, and having done so much, Fred usually referred that she had done much more than any other intern they’ve had, she hand’t actually solved a case by herself. Fred and her always came to conclusions together.

“Yes, yes you just did.” George couldn’t believe that the case he has been working on for the last week and a half, and that he was getting to a road with no end was just solved. When he decided to listen to the audios he didn’t expect much from them because he thought he had worked through everything. Well, he guessed wrong. “Do you have any idea what this case might’ve costed me hadn’t you just solved it?” George wondered out loud. She denied, not being able to form words. The way he was looking made her panties soak, which is a current occurrence because every time she see him even from a far he manages to do something to her.

“It would cost us millions of dollars and very bad fame. You see we are working with some of the most influential people England has. Winning is very important.” George said.

“I thought every person you worked with was influential and important?” It came out a genuine question.

“These people can manipulate everything around them, if they wanted to end mine and Fred’s career, they could with a snap of their fingers. Winning them this case on the contrary, will give us something in all out time working he never had in this scale.” He stated. “Thank you so much for your help.”

Well that was first, y/n never heard him say a ‘hi’ to her, and a ‘thank you’ to anyone else.

“You can go have your luch now, I’ve kept you here for… oh for a long time.” He said when he looked at the hours. Two o’clock was away past their lunch our. Fred hadn’t come knockinh why? They always had lunch together. “How about had as a thank you I offer you lunch?” What a bold fucking move George Weasley, what will people think if they see you out and about with your little intern ahm? ‘Fuck that’ George thought to himself.

“Is it appropriate?” way to ruin the opportunity y/n, she thought.

“Lunch as co-workers of course. Celebrating early the win.” He persuaded, now that he was all in, might as well convince her. When she nodded he continued. “Well have you ever tried the Italian on the main street?”

He meant the beautiful restaurant that looked straight out a movie? The one she’s been eyeing since she started working here, but the prices have kept her way because lord forbid her of spending fifty pounds on a fucking meal?

“I was thinking maybe something more on my price range?” She suggested, trying not to offend him, or look poor in front of him. She wasn’t and the money she received working for them was good but she started to pay for her stuff now, to relieve her parents of the bills and so money was always a little tight on her side.

“None sense, I will pay for us both. No one needs to know. Now come on, or we will eat our lunch when we’re suppose to be snacking” He was already getting up, got his jacket of the back of the chair in a swift motion and walked to the door.

No one was to be seen in the hall, which was weird given the hour of the day. Everyone came from lunch and this was the hour of chatting a little bit, drink a coffee or something else and going to the bathroom before resuming their work. Some forces where on their side because besides Iris, no one saw them leave together. And Iris was nice enough to keep everything to her.

The restaurant was to the brim. y/n thought they would have to wait hours or not even have a place. But the very nice employee at the front, as soon has he saw George swiftly pull them in and into one of the best tables they had.

“I’m a regular.” He justified, when they were seated and her eyes weren’t on him for once but instead on the menu.

“yes of course.” She wanted to had, and the most powerful man there is, but she kept that to her.

“If you have any doubts choosing I would suggest the chicken marsala.” Did he think, even though she had just solved his case, that she was dumb? The tone in his voice suggested everything but a suggestion. It was almost a command. What type of fifty shades was this? Although she did like the dominant side he radiated to her.

“Sure, I’ll have that.” And George gestured to the employee working around the tables on the place they were before starting their request. And while they waited they talked. In just few minutes he felt like he was Fred in there. Because y/n was talking openly and so freely that he couldn’t believe she was doing that to him.

It felt nice for her hear her talk like that, like she had no worries and that she felt safe in speaking to him like that. He also talked and y/n was surprised he even wanted to share something with him.

“I also lived in a flat while studying, me and Fred shared one I mean.” He corrected. “Two teenagers leaving alone in a apartment after coming from a big family? Sweet, we were in paradise.” When y/n laughed he had do contain the smile that was to appear on his face.

“I can’t even begin to imagine what two boys would do all alone.” Her tone was suggestive. George coughed a little trying to hide the smirk in his face. If she was trying to rile him up and get something out of him it was working.

“law if difficult, but we never studied they way some of our pears did. We partied, and people were impressed because they never expected the best parties to come from law students, yet, they did come from us. Took us a while after collage to build our reputation to what it is today, a lot of people didn’t take us seriously. Then Fred hit the jackpot with a giant case and things just grew from there. I had my big moment a few months later.”

Now that was all information y/n had no idea about. Fred never shared that with me.

“Fred shared a lot of things with me but never that. I’m shocked.” When George looked at her accusingly but in a joking manner she found herself correcting what she said. “I mean, it’s just… I’m sorry, but you both have this like dominant strong image around you that it’s hard to think you ever did party. There’s zero photos of you on the internet, all of your cases have closed doors. I mean? People create an image, even if not the correct one, about you.”

“You have a point there. You have very good points that I didn’t have any idea about. But then again Fred took you all to him so it’s hard to know anything.”

“Mr. Weasley just likes the way I work.” She felt the need to justify herself almost immediately.

George rolled his eyes a little. “Still, you are working for both of us and although Elias does a good job I found out only today how hard working you are.”

If he was trying to make her feel guilty or sometime of thing it wasn’t working.

“Well, Mr. Weasley, I never worked for you because first, today was the first time you actually felt the need to call me and only because it was urgent and Elias wasn’t there and because every time I try to ask you something, for Mr. Weasley’s work you always answer me shortly.” She stated. George lost words at that, but only for a brie moment.

The next words that came from George were fast and wouldn’t have made any sense if y/n didn’t have all her attention on the beautiful man in front of her.

“I don’t have you work for me because, “he stopped for a moment, thinking his brain might stop him there, but was wrong, “because it is wrong to fantasize about someone who works for you, someone who is your boss. Is it not?”

Her cheeks started to feel warm, and her body was next. She squeezed both hands together and crossed her legs tighter tightly, the warmth from earlies mixing with we warmth from now.

“It is profession to crush on your boss?” She wanted to come out like is words hadn’t just affected her, but it came out shyly instead. George’s breath came out uneven and he put both of his hand on top of the table and closed is hands into fists is knuckles turning white from the force. He breath very deeply, y/n watched his nostrils flare and his eyes turning a very dark shade.

“It is. But I guess we’re both bad at keeping things professional.” He wanted to ass more but their food arrived and he was forced to tidy up is posture and look like he wasn’t hard under his pants.

They ate in silence. And when they finished George paid for their food, and when they got up he put a hand on the end of her back, almost at the curve of her ass.

“We should keep things professional.” y/n got way from his touch and looked at him. “Wouldn’t want to loose my job because I wanted to fuck my boss no?” The smile she gave him made him know that wasn’t scared of what they had said at the table. And that if both of them found it hard to hide the sexual tension before, now that they were both made aware that it was returned, it would be even more difficult.

⚘

George ended up winning the case that same week. Fred had made Elias and y/n work very little that day and in their floor they did a small celebration party due to the fact that this was major win for them. Everyone wanted an interview with both of them, their phones hadn’t stopped ringing. Iris had to put it on hold so she could come celebrate with them since they had insisted. They were in the meeting room, and although they were known around, Elias and y/n stayed in a little corner, champagne in their small cups a little bit of cake in their hand. Elias had chocolate and y/n had red velvet.

“You know we are not alone in this room right?” Fred asked his brother, coming up next to him and bumping his shoulder. George looked at him questioningly. “You know other people will notice if you continue to look at her like you wanna rip her clothes of.” Fred joked and laughed when George mumbled angrily under his breath. He was regretting telling George what had happened at lunch and even more so telling him the crush he’s had on his intern since she started. Although Fred stated, and very well, that of the crush he already knew. If any of the thing either one or the other did that made him have his confirmations. It was small things Fred would notice. Like every time George came into his office and almost every time he had nothing of interest to say, he would find a stupid excuse that Fred was always to nice to snitch on him in front of her. Or how her looked lingered a little to much when she was in his presence, and how Fred had to call her name various times before she looked at him again.

How George only seem to need something from him in the hours y/n was in his office. How, if she wasn’t there, George would be caught red handed with nothing to say or do, because he just wanted to look at her.

“Shut up.” He said angrily. “Stop trying to make me do something irrational. It’s wrong. And we’re not in the right place to have that conversation.” He wanted this conversation to be the end of it, however Fred was not done.

“You know I don’t mid right? If things are done correctly I wouldn’t mind.” Fred looked at his brother. They were both tall, taller than almost everyone in the room, so they both had a good look over y/n and Elias at the end of the meeting room, close to the door.

“What is there to be done correctly? Haven’t you understand she works for us? And let me also tell you from what I’m seeing when her year long internship ends that the possibly of us hiring her is big?”

“If someone else doesn’t hire her first.” Fred said only to tease him. He was very much planning on hiring her, and planning on giver her a notice before the internship ended so they could assure her position in the firm.

“They won’t. We are the best of the best. And as you said before she had other opportunities but waited for ours. Do you think she would be stupid enough to say no?” George scoffed and then moved his head from side to side, his eyes still on the girl in green. She brought a suit today, she knew today was gonna be big and she had spoken briefly to George the other day and told him about it. She was gorgeous.

“Elias and her are alone in the corner, why don’t make yourself useful for once little brother and go talk to her. Oh look just faith speaking.” Fred said the last part when Elias was pushed to the side by one of his colleagues, a lawyer who was been working on a small case.

George composed himself the best he could and made his way to her passing some people who were congratulating him again, and wanted to talk but he had her on his mind.

“May I just say, you were very impressive today, Mr. Weasley.” She beat him to it, speaking first. George had invited y/n and Elias to watch firsthand, front row seats at court. She was very thankful for such a big opportunity, she hoped one day she would be where George was, and be has amazing has he was presenting all the facts and making everyone subdue to him and his ever brilliant knowledge.

“Thank you. Couldn’t have done it without you y/n. You were brilliant, and I wish you could’ve been there. Be the one to defend.” He had his back turned to everyone in the room and since he was tall he covered y/n a little. He was lanky to she could still be seen.

“I think I will have many opportunities no? I mean working for your firm will give me a very good profile, and people will want me, that is, if you give good recommendations.”

“We could always skip the recommendations and hire you.” She looked at him her eyes big and shiny, having him say that made her heart beat a little faster. If she could work for them permanently and be a lawyer to them? Dream come true.

“That would be very nice, yes.” She tried to keep her cool, and then closed the distance between them, but trying to not make it to noticeable for other people not to see. Her mint scent hit his face and his teeth came to rest on his bottom lip, her closeness made him nervous. “Working for you permanently would be a challenge no?” she had her arms crossed, but uncrossed them to rest on hand on his arm and squeezed it. She was about to cross the biggest line there was.

“I could do so much more than working couldn’t I Mr. Weasley? I bet I would look good working on my knees, under your desk, only for you so see.” She spoke almost inaudible, only he could hear it and with the noise everyone was making he was sure they didn’t have a clue what she just said. To everyone else they were just chatting about his win.

George trembled and he had to put all his willpower into not doing something stupid. He had no words. And didn’t have time to say, Elias came up behind her and called her, and he lost all her attention. People had the nerve to always be interrupting them. She left, because they both had to work on something Elias needed help in, and y/n always ready to please, offered to.

⚘

After that, if they thought they had ever felt sexual tension, then they weren’t expecting to go through this. Fred couldn’t take George anymore, everyday in his office going on about how he needed to get laid. How lately he just felt like everything was building up and the work piling on his desk wasn’t helping.

“You should just go to y/n, I think she would be more than willing to help.” Fred hadn’t meant for his words to sound wrong and George understood where he was coming from. Fred felt y/n’s sexual tension before he even hit the floor at 8 am every morning. He even asked Angelina for some advice on how to try and make them understand that he was ok with them.

George wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. “You are no fucking help, ever. I might as well visit my ex.” He stated. In that moment y/n was knocking on the door, she was speaking before she was looking and knowing George was there. “Fred I brought you what you asked, and also some ideas for presents for Angelina.” She said, and finally looked up, every word she was gonna say next. She has just called him Fred in front of his brother. She would only say that if he was alone. Fred didn’t seem to mind.

“Thank you so much y/n. My brother here was just leaving right George? Me and y/n have some things to do.” He looked at George who huffed and left without another word to y/n.

“Sexual tension still?” She questioned, bold question to make to anyone but her and Fred were more than co-workers, they were friends now and he didn’t mind.

“Yes. You two should meet up.” Came Fred’s voice sounding uninterested, and y/n rolled her eyes as she sat in front of him starting her work. Fred looked at her when she wasn’t looking and wanted to laugh at the annoyed and very frustrated face she had.

When five hit the clock Fred got up, after staring to organize his desk minutes before.

“I’m going, don’t wanna be late to my date with Angelina. You’re staying?”

“Yes, there’s still so much to be done and the lady hasn’t stopped calling Iris today asking for anything we might know. This is going to take while.” y/n stopped what she was doing for a moment to look at Fred. “Do you want me to leave? I can go to my desk or the meeting room?” The desk she barely used, it’s only use now being of support to her bag and computer.

“No, you can stay I trust you. Just please don’t stay up to late. Tomorrow we can give her something to occupy her mind.” She nodded, and said goodbye as he left and closed the door behind him.

y/n only got up two hours later to turn on the light in room because it was already dark, but her brain so focused on what she was doing that she didn’t think much of it.

“Fred are you seriously still working?” Came a sudden voice that scared her and made the pencil she held drop to the floor. “Shit sorry, y/n? Where’s Fred?”

“Mr. Weasley left sometime ago, a date with his girlfriend. He let me stay because I have to finish this.” She pointed to the papers in front of her and the proceeded to pick up the pencil. George came in and closed the door behind him. She had to prepare herself to bask in his presence, his knowledge and his extreme intelligence. y/n was not only fisically attracted to him, but also mentally. He was just so intelligent it was scary sometimes to work with him, even though she had helped him solve that case a sometime ago. It was still hard because she was afraid to make any wrong moves.

“Well I thought it was just him in here and was gonna tell him to drop his work and go home. It’s not him but it applies to you to. Besides I had to stay up late too, I’m the only one here and the security will want to close everything up in a short time. I bet if they had done their patrol already that you wouldn’t be here.”

“I will leave when they come here, but for now I have to really finish this.” She turned to her work again, trying to ignore his presence completely. He came closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Well I have nothing to do at home, I can help you with what’s left. Two heads are better than one.” He said. He pulled a chair from a corner and put it next to hers. She gave him some papers for him to analyze. “Surprising that Fred stayed with this case, i usually take care of financial stuff.” He said more to himself than anything but y/n heard.

“I think he only took it because I told him I like this type of cases and could help him. I’m doing most of the works, he’s working on the arguments and such.” She looked at George. Being the end of the day, he has his shirt unbuttoned, his tie was hanging from his left pocket of the jacket and he just had a tired look on him.

“Ah I see, stealing you all to himself.” y/n denied with her head. “Unfair, seen as he knows very well I’ve been meaning to talk to you since the party the other day. Or did you forget what you said?”

Shit, y/n wasn’t expecting him to act on it. But oh boy, how she was happy he did. Every dream she’s had since that day was of her on her knees sucking him of until he cums in her mouth. While he calls her little pet names and makes her stay with his cock in her mouth because it’s warm. And then in her dreams he would slap her ass, slap her little clit until she trembled and made her call him ‘daddy’. The name would come out shy at first and then when he was destroying her it would come out more strong and sure.

She swallowed hard and pressed her legs together.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He put his hand on her leg and pulled them apart, so her legs were separated and he looked at her sternly. “Keep him this way.” He demanded.

“I thought you were gonna help” she whispered, hand coming to rest on top of his and caressing his long fingers. Shit, they would hit every spot inside her so good.

“And I am, aren’t I? I’m attending to a more important and demanding matter.” His hand came up from her knee to her thigh and then leaned inside towards her core, he could feel all the heat radiating from there. She nodded and guided his hand to be right on top of her still clothed pussy.

“Please, help me.” She said sweetly and seductively, any doubts she had and concerns if the should even be doing this in the first place all melting away.

“Yeah? Want my help baby girl? Since you like to be so bossy and know it all, tell me, what do you want me to do?” George pressed his fingers, quickly finding her clit and letting the pressure there for a moment, a moan coming from her mouth.

“Undress me, and please touch my pussy. I’m so wet.” She pleaded.

“Then get up, come on now, be a good girl.” He sair almost impatiently, and saw her get up and fumble with the buttons of her jacket and then with the button of her pants. “Shit.” George was amazed how good she looked, the black panties and bra she had made her look even more delicious if that were possible. The panties were laced and so her wetness could be seen from them. “On the desk.” He instructed, and y/n without thinking did what he asked.

If Fred ever found out they had sex in his office he would never see the end of it and he might as well think about creating his own firm because… wow.

“I’m so wet.” She brought her hand to his hair and pulled on hit the groan that left George was brutal. “Please kiss it.”

George didn’t need to be told twice, he brought his lips to her covered pussy and kissed, although mixed with the fabric of her panties, he could very much taste her distinct, sweet, taste. He kissed it again, and again until she was restless enough to pull his head back her eyes a darker color.

“Take them of.” She order, George looked amazed at her commanding tone.

“be careful there little thing, might just stop here.” He had taken his hand to move her panties to the side exposing her engorged and redish clit, asking to touched. She mewled, her hand coming to rest on her belly and her fingers digging a little.

George took his mouth to her clit and sucked it gently, gaining from her the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He sucked again so have that reaction again, her legs came to rest on his back pulling him to her. She moaned his name.

“Sound so fucking good moaning for me princess, just love it so much.” He took the moment she was distracted to rip her panties open, she gasped.

“What the fuck George.” She looked at him incredulously.

He slapped her thigh and squished it. “Watch you language there or daddy might just leave you hanging.”

The fact that not only had he used the word ‘daddy’, the word she so dreamed of him calling, he had also called himself that. He couldn’t be real.

“No please.” Any dominance she might have tried complete disappeared at his words. Two of his fingers played with her wet hole while his mouth kissed the inside or her thigs, kissed just above her pussy, above where she wanted to be touched the most. Her eyes closed and one hand was behind her, to support her and the other still on her belly.

He entered the two fingers, slowly, looking at her, at the way her head fell back, his name fell out of her mouth, and the hand on her tummy came to push him agains her cunt. Non verbally stating where she wanted his mouth to go.

HE wasted no time attacking her clit with his tongue, his fingers moving slowly in and her out her allowing to fill her, to be close to her.

“Daddy, shit.” Her legs slid down his back almost to his butt, they were shaking a little.

“You just so good baby girl, so sweet, fuck, I’ve been imagining this ever since I saw you. How tight you would be, how sweet, how responsive to your daddy.” He moaned, he was so hard the zipper on his trousers opened a little. His free hand came to unbutton and in a very messy way he pulled his boxers down and freed his cock.

His cock was swollen, red, and we was leaking the stinky susbstance y/n wanted to taste. It came slapping to his belly, rock hard. He put his hand on it stroking slowly letting some moans slip out of his lips, which came shocking against her clit and she shook.

“Fuck. Are you touching yourself daddy?” She asked innocently, pulling some of the red hair that had fallen onto his face to have a better view of his wet swollen lips, from mounding at her pussy.

“I am baby, I am, you just, taste so good, feel so warm and squishy.” All the vibrations from his voice were crashing on her clit making her even more sensitive.

“I- I’ gonna cum, George, fuck.” She was so close, so so close, but he stopped, seized his movements at her pussy but his fingers still buried inside of her.

“You’re gonna come, with me deep inside that little pussy, yeah baby?” He asked, moving away from her. Pulling his fingers, she sighed happily, and took his hand as soon as it was out her. Bringing her face close to his hand and putting his fingers in her mouth, sucking feverishly on them.

George groaned, the hand on his cock pressing his tip and he felt like he could come there at sigh.

“I wanna suck you cock daddy, please.”

“Since my girl asked so nicely, I can’t say no.” Hearing him say ‘princess’ ‘my girl’ made her stomach feel with butterflies, and her heart skip a beat. Shit this crush was way out of hand.

She bounced of the desk, and pushed his chair a little, the wheels helping her do so. She came down to her knees, the view making George think the most sinful things.

Her hand took his out and put it in his thick thighs. Her mouth close to his where she left small wet kisses. Her hand started to stroke him, coming from the base all the way to the rudy red tip. She took the pre-cum that was coming out and used it had lubricant making the sensation so much more intense to him.

She opened his legs to fit in between them and looked up at him for a brief moment, her pussy pulsing around nothing wishing to be touched. He had his head back, both hands at his thighs kneading the flesh there. His mouth opened looking like his was gonna moan but no sound came out.

She understood them we was trying to control himself.

“Moan for me daddy, let me hear you. Let me know I’m making you feel good.” She squeezed his tip tightly and his hole body shook, a moan he couldn’t control of her name.

“You’re making me feel so good, shit, your hands are so small and can barely wrap around my thick shaft isn’t that right pretty princess? And why don’t you put that dirty mouth of your to work.” Her mouth came to meet his tip and engulfed it in her lips, sucking softly on it, her hands massaging the rest of his cock for now.

Her tongue playing with his tip and then she not so slowly took more of him into her mouth. Her hand resting on his balls and massaging them. And then coming up again twisting around the part of his cock she didn’t have in her mouth.

He put his hand on her hair, making a pony tail out it and helping her guiding her movements, even thought she didn’t need that, he just wanted to feel in control.

She breath in deepley and relaxes her throat and before he knew it she was taking him all of him in, hitting the back of her throat, gagging around him, her spit and his come dripping down the corners of her mouth.

“Sucking my cock so messily baby, but so fucking good- ah fuck” he cried out his legs feeling numb from all the pleasure. Her hand moving more vigorously on his balls. She pulled out slowly, her free hand not touching him, touching her needy clit.

“Come on, up you get.” He was out of breath, pulling her by her hair and instructing her silently to sit on the desk again. He got up, one hand spreading her thighs apart and the other stroking him, the color red spreading from his head all the way thru his length from the way he was feeling.

“Next time, daddy, I’ll suck your cock until you come. I won’t let you pull out.” y/n said, hands coming up to knead her breast thru her bra.

“Take that off, want you naked while you make a mess on my cock.” He smacked his cock on her clit the sudden touch making them both shudder. With trembling fingers she tried to pull open her bra, and with some difficulty she eventually managed.

George filled her up nice and slowly letting them both ride the high of feeling each other so closely. George feeling her up all the way, her pussy adjusting to his size. He was big, long and thick and y/n hadn’t had sex in a long time and no guy she was with was that big. George was way above average and she could feel it very well and would feel it even more the next day.

“Daddy shit.” Her feet met his ass and pulled him towards her, George wasn’t all in but her sudden movement made him do just that, fitting snugly in her pussy, brushing her sweet stop that made her spasm around him.

“You are just perfect all over aren’t you baby? So perfect and angelic but the dirtiest whore for your daddy.” His hand took the hair that still fell on his eyes and his other hand touched her clit and pressed it, sinful sounds coming from her, her clit touched and played with along with the pressure and size of George’s cock making her senses stop working and her loosing every train thought she had.

“I’m gonna love to play with this pussy.” He started moving his hips, taking his hand of her clit and taking both her legs in his hold. He bent her legs at the knee and close tho her chest the knew position made her scream. He hit her g-spot right there and then, and her legs became gelly.

“Found it baby, now touch you precious clit for me.” He instructed and she did has she was told, all the pleasure she felt becoming to much, her pussy was throbbing, her nipples were hard from all the pleasure and his cock inside her felt heavenly. He was so smooth, and heavy. She made rapid little motions on her clit while George sped up his movements his hips meeting hers ever, bottoming out with every thrust and touching every little part of her cunt.

When her legs started to quake powerfully in his hold he knew she was starting to get close. She had been teased and denied one orgasm, and she would do it again if he demanded, but the way her breasts moved with power of his hips and strokes, and how she clenched around him swallowing him holy he knew he would be mean to do that.

“You gotta ask for permission.” He slapped her hand way from her clit to pus his there, to control the pressure and the little up and down movement.

At first she couldn’t form words, her vision was going white, the shots of pleasure thru her body to much.

“P-please can I cum?” A gentle whimper came from her mouth as the waves of her orgasm become stronger.

“Yes baby, go ahead soke my cock.” His hand moved even quicker on her clit and that’s when they both felt it. Her orgasm rippling thru her, strong waves of pleasure felt all over her body, her legs quacking, her arms stretched out beside her, her pussy convulsing, her juices coating his cock deliciously.

“Squeezing me so tight baby, I’m gonna fucking come.” She puts her head in a way that she can look at him, all destroyed and proper fucked out. He doesn’t have time to warn her again before his climax comes crushing down on him. He almost looses his balance for a second, so strong that everything in his body paralyzes. He buries himself to the hilt in her pussy letting his cum shot deep in her and falls on top of her, his arms don’t give him much support but allow him not to crush her. He hides is face in her neck.

“We really did it ahm?” came her voice, sounding still a little afar since he was still recovering from his strong orgasm. He just nodded unable to form any word.

She waited a little, her hand gently brushing his back making goosebumps appear on his skin. The gentle and sweet gesture making his heart flutter.

“We did.” Came out after a while, finally regaining his posture and picking himself up, pulling out of her. The movement making them moan a little, the emptiness she felt felt weird. She was somehow already used to being full of him.

He pulled her by the arms so she could sit on the desk and not stay laying down.

“Does this change anything?” She asked shyly. He nodded.

“It does, because, I’ll be dammed if I don’t make you mine.” Intertwining their fingers he brought to his mouth to kiss. She smiled britlhy. “If you want me, that is.”

Her answer came in an attack of kisses all over his face and ending up in his mouth.

“We didn’t even kiss thru all that shit. And you kissed my cock.” He joked and she punched him gently on his chest.

“Watch your mouth. And also how we will explain to your brother this?”

“What he doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him.”

They got dressed, both of them taking their time because their bodies were still not at the maximum potential. A knock on the door startled them.

“Mr. Weasley are you still in there?” It was the guard. George made a gesture with his finger over his mouth for y/n to keep quiet.

“Yes Augustus, be out in a minute.” George said a little loudly and finished up getting dressed and waited for y/n to do the same, and then proceeded to organize the mess they made so Fred wouldn’t know about anything.

Opening the door Augustus was there waiting, a few feet from the door he smiled at George, did he knew it was George now that he could see him? Or did he still think it was Fred? Wouldn’t look good if he did, Fred is probably at home with his girlfriend.

“Augustus, my brother gave us some last minute work and we completely forgot the time. I’m so sorry.” George apologized. Augustus understood then is was not Fred. He only nodded, looked at y/n and also nodded and then watched them leave, their hands intertwined while he heard a little laugh coming from the girl.

⚘

Next day y/n came in at the same time as always, but neither Fred or George were to be seen. She sat at her desk and started to work on the things she should’ve done yesterday but got a little to busy to do so. Fred came in first.

“Good morning y/n. Already working on the case?” He asked bewildered, stopping in front of her desk. She nodded, now that she was seeing him, after what she had done in his office words were hard to come out her mouth. “Good, well when George comes in can you please tell him to come to my office? Iris is coming in later today so I can’t leave her that warning. You can also come in with them for us to work on the case.”

She nodded again, her words still not forming. About half an hour later came in George, way later than usual since he came in at the same time as Fred or a little after. When they made eye contact the smile he shared with her was so big and bright that made some of the nervous feeling she had subside. She had spent all night overthinking if that was a mistake, but by the looks of it wasn’t.

“Mr. Weasley your brother wishes to speak to you.” With some of the lawyers doors opened she had to address him like that.

“Thank you y/n, gonna put this in my office and then I’ll go right in.”

And when he came around she got up to follow him. Silently she spoke to him.

“he said to come in too, so we can work on the case.” She felt the need to justify herself.

“Ah yes, the case you should’ve worked on yesterday I am correct? Got a little to distracted no?” He put his hand on her back and pulled her to him. He kissed her lips gently. If her hands weren’t full she would’ve put his face between them. They were lucky that they in a part where no one could see.

“Ah fantastic that you both still know how to follow some orders.” Fred said, when he saw both of them enter his office. y/n swallowed hard, that sentence had a lot more meaning to it.

George tried to hide his smile, he thinks he might know what could come out of this, but how did he know?

“Next time you both decide to shag, which mind you I have nothing against, finally actually, do it at home, in George’s office somewhere… but please not my fucking office.” He looked at both of them trying to portrait himself as mad but failing terribly. A smirk resting on his lips.

y/n wanted to hide so badly, dig the biggest hole ever and burry herself there from how embarrassed she was.

“Hod do you know?” George asked incredosly, one thing they refused to have were cameras in their offices, it was a private place for them.

“Well my dears there’s a thing called a fucking phone.” He pointed to the phone he had on his desk, it was used to call around the firm, but Fred had his house number on there in case Angelina needed anything and couldn’t reach his personal phone. “Having my girlfriend pick up the phone, and come in the bedroom saying ‘someone is having sex on your office’ sure makes you both have a good impression. Lucky me I was at home with her when that happened.”

George looked at y/n who was feeling hot and embarrassed all over. Shit, it must have been her in the moments of pleasure she might’ve pushed some button. Fuck, shit.

“Just that. But finally you both decided to do it, I was done earing from one or the other just plain bullshit.” Fred rolled his eyes, continuing to write what he was doing. “Even Angelina was happy, not about the phone sex, about you two getting your shit together.”

y/n looked at George and took his hand in hers again.

“So are we together?” She asked him.

“Yes, but to make it official let me take you on a proper date. Today, sound good?” She nodded.

“Great you two, but please don’t let it end in office sex.” Came Fred’s voice again, making the three of them laugh.

#george weasley imagine #george weasley imagines #george weasley x reader #smut #angst #fluff #george weasley #george weasley smut

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dirk-has-rabies · 4 years

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Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on) and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes. gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao, or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella) some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do. we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert) this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing. allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it) has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance” SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate) since a lot of people roll their eyes at that and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly. Autigender is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

#autism #actuallyautistic #trans #nonbinary #xenogenders #neopronouns #lgbtq #adhd #nuerodivergent #gender identity

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whatiwillsay · 4 years

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submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me. but i am very emotional right now. i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience. ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support. have you been financially impacted by this? we can raise money. do you need therapy? we can help you find the support you need. this community is unequivocally here for you. whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will. you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this. i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened. this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do. this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia

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dragonrajafanfiction · 3 years

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Actually Me: How would the Conversation Actually Go?

I primarily communicate by text message. So many of our conversations would have been on my phone. Past tense. Because after he rejected me, I probably sent him a billion messages asking what I did wrong and why he won’t text me back any more and I probably sent him pretty angry messages that I would later regret. And then I deleted his contact and all my messages with him.

When Texting a guy typically falls back on the usual. “Hey”. A classic. Gotta love the “Hey.” But I’m not getting that because he’s BLOCKEd. I BLOCKED HIM. I’m sorry for him if he texts me and expects me to respond. Because I’m not... getting any of those messages lol. I use my phone way too much I can’t have that drama in my phone.

Would he continue to try to contact me?

There’s a good chance of that. At the beginning of Book 3 he’s so worked up about the Importance of Confessing that’s he’s a borderline terrorist. And then when he thinks he and Caesar are going to die, he again encourages Lu Mingfei to talk to Nono because ‘if Caesar dies, she’ll be sad right’? Why do you think he says that? Because he’s sad about losing someone he loved. In the game Ally chats which are pretty in character for the most part, he’s really into the whole confessing thing. So would he go easy and leave me alone? Would he give me space? ...Not at this point in the story. His ‘Romantic Pendulum’ is swinging to the opposite extreme. To the point where, he’s about to die and his last words are, ‘Do whatever it takes to Confess to Nono’.

How would it go??

In this particular story however, it wouldn’t be a confession of Love necessarily. More like a confession of “I screwed up.”.

It would start out like, “I wish I had done what you did.”

He would explain who Xia Mi was and what happened and would probably express what admiration he felt for me actually telling how I felt about him.

This is NOT what I want to hear.

Me: “I don’t wanna hear about your Ex-Girlfriend Chu Zihang!”

At this point I’m dealing with a years worth of bitter anger. He’s somehow gotten us together to talk and this is what he opens up to me about? Thanks for Confessing? This is what he called me here to say? And it took him a year to say that?

And then I would unload on him about how I could barely function for about a year. He ripped my heart out. I wish I had never confessed and then I wouldn’t have spent a year being an absolute emotional wreck! Best of all, I know Chinese now and I could yell at him in his native language LOL

Me: “You put me through hell! I don’t want to hear how much you admire me, when I’ve spent a year trying to let you go! Which is what you wanted! Right? You made that very clear!”

At that point, Chu Zihang might understand the wisdom of Lu Mingfei. Confessing only works if they like you back and if they don’t, if you can let them go. Chu Zihang has ‘seized the dog by the ears’ so to speak. He has to commit or get bit.

He’d have to explain something or this is going nowhere. I’m a crying mess.

So what does he say?

At this point, I hope he would feel he owes me something. However (comma) that situation with Odin is a real hot potato. I don’t even think he talks about it in Ally Chats. So he would probably say that he lives an extremely dangerous life and he didn’t want me to get involved with that.

Me: “I know. We all do. I mean, I ran off and nearly died in China. And you did too. We’re all in danger Chu Zihang. We shouldn’t be making each other miserable over it. And I have been miserable.”

Chu Zihang: ......”I’m sorry.”

Me: “You should have just said that like a normal person....”

Chu Zihang: “I know that now.... That’s why I’m here. Even though it’s too late.”

The ball is back in my court. I could either tell him it’s too late or I could give him another chance. And I would give him another chance. I’m a glutton for punishment. I believe strongly in redemption and second chances. Everyone makes mistakes, and I’m not someone who keeps a black book of errors if I am not given a reason too.

Chu Zihang would seem sincere enough I think to win me over even given the bad start to the conversation. “Can’t stay mad at that face.” says me, the Stage 5 Clinger.

So what happens after?

My sense of drama tells me that he kept the letter and he has it with him. And that he’s read it after Xia Mi died. But at the same time, I’m kind of a ‘lesser’ Xia Mi. I’m her shadow. Which... I wouldn’t care. I would probably feel very relieved that I don’t have to deal with that bitterness any more. He’d end up back in my phone and our conversations would continue.

Conflict can bring people closer together. When I first wrote ReWritten Series, I wrote Caesar and MC in a slightly adversarial relationship where they openly clashed often. I had a situation where they hurt each other. There was real conflict in their interactions sometimes. But because they really respected each other they could work through that and now they have a very strong relationship.

I think something similar would happen here. Chu Zihang is NOT a bad person. He’s not manipulative. He’s just bad at talk-words. I was clingy and couldn’t let go so it would hurt more than it should. But if things go like they would above, there would be peace in the Kingdom before Book 3.

#Dragon Raja #Actually Me #Self-Roast

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rainbowsky · 3 years

Text

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

#fan fiction #fandom reflections #top bottom #ask

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

Note

Ayo curious anon here- im gonna rewatch rewatch the vod and take note of every single punch and why it appears to have happened then we can compare notes. Also i am interested in your opinion on relaxx's post :0 also if u want a vid rec i know a cool vid where someone replied to a dream apologist who;;; excused exile but it also brings up some interesting points :0

alright, well good luck! my focus was more on the fact that c!dream didn't start punching first until the very end (he did punch back a few times but that's not what i was tracking), and c!tommy was punching him the entire time beforehand, so if you count more "first punches" for the very ending i don't think that would matter that much, but if you have something beforehand that's a discrepancy on my part feel free to tell me :]

i'm not going to watch it for myself because i'm afraid they'd generalize dream apologists based on that one person and make a lot of assumptions that don't apply to me + use possibly insulting, emotionally charged language as a result, but if there are good points you'd like to debate about feel free to send those!

as for relaxx post ( link to the original ) i have a reply written up with my opinions, so yeah;

/dsmp /rp

i was going to put in a first part saying how this is biasedly worded and insinuating that c!tommy was somehow protecting his family by standing up against c!dream during the negotiation (which really was the other way around, him being reckless and endangering them) but i don’t wanna seem aggressive or condescending so i just deleted that. they have emotions about c!tommy and they see him in a certain light thanks to that and i respect that enough not to bother them.

the majority of this is about c!dream anyway, which is more my playing field.

“it didn’t even work because dream didn’t care about spirit”

basic misinterpretation by someone not knowledgeable about the character besides watching c!tommy’s pov. obviously this is not true in the slightest, c!dream has proven time and time again that spirit’s leather is what he cares about the most right after his friends - he traded one of the discs for it, and he had sentimental attachment to the horse. him saying later that he doesn’t is not him revealing anything, or maybe even lying (there’s different interpretations of that scene - in my opinion it’s more of a decision than anything).

of course i do agree that c!dream is manipulative. the reasons for that can be debated, but he is. i wouldn’t call him a “master manipulator” - that’s reserved for people who not even the audience notices are being manipulative despite the obvious red flags, but c!dream is very much manipulative - he’s just the only one people notice, which isn’t really pro of him /j

“dream tells tommy he cut off all attachments, he abandons and stops talking to his friends”

he did stop talking to them… after they abandoned him. small mistake, big difference in the way we see the character.

“he tells tommy among other things that he “does it all because it’s fun and he’s playing with his food” “no, i just like to cause chaos” “i’m doing this so you can have an origin story. the perfect hero origin” “i can make us immortal together!” we don’t have a way to confirm or deny these as true/false since we don’t know what dream’s thinking, but. sadly they appear to line up with his actions.”

no, it doesn’t. it doesn’t line up at all with the way he talks to… anyone else, or with his character in general. it’s an intimidation tactic to cover up his true intentions and make himself out to be more of a threat because he wants people to be afraid of him - that’s what gives him power, basically. threats and ultimatums are what gives him the most control over others even if he has no real power, so it’s important people fear what he could do or what he would be willing to do, rather than what he actually will.

“sapnap actually visited dream in prison and dream seemed to care more about using sapnap to get to ranboo then sapnap himself. ouch.”

have they. have they not watched the video where c!dream spends the first like 98% writing in a book about how he wants c!sapnap and c!george to come visit him again and trying to convince c!sapnap he can get better and be let out and meet again? where he only asks for c!sapnap to deliver the message like half a minute before the end? where are they getting this info from? because this is outrageously incorrect, i’m sorry but what even lead you to that conclusion?

“i am actually fully on board with the idea that dream lied, and that he does still miss and care about his friends! i consider often (because i like angst lol)! when dream finally gets his pov, we might learn about this. because we don’t know what he’s thinking. he could be missing them every second for all we know! it could all be one master plan to make them like him, or save them, or something. dream is innocent until proven guilty. as far as we can tell, he wasn’t lying. and he did cut off his friends.”

i think from everything that’s happened before and after the scene it is obvious he does in fact care about them. he did emotionally isolate himself, he did “cut himself off” (moreso by not reaching out than actually doing anything for himself), yes, but that doesn’t mean he wanted to or that it didn’t hurt him.

“even if it turns out he actually loves them, he still treated them awfully by abandoning them as he did”

i… don’t remember that happening, i’ll be honest. they left him and they never came back, so it’s much more on them than it is on c!dream that their relationship fell apart, although he technically could’ve tried harder. however, that’s only c!sapnap and c!george - he still proved to care about c!punz during before the finale, and even during the prison he still shows attachment to c!techno.

i could give examples of him caring about his friends, and will if asked (that’d take a while because there is a lot of canon evidence but honestly it’d just make me very happy so i wouldn’t mind), but in general it’s not that difficult to see that he… does care about people, as hard as that is to believe, and yes, he did hurt them indirectly because it hurts to see people who used to be important to you spiral to the point of doing terrible things, but i wouldn’t say he made c!sapnap feel terrible, especially during the prison visit when c!dream is very obviously Going Through It.

also i highly dislike the anon’s attitude. there’s no need to be that aggressive, like what the hell dude. everyone can have their own interpretations and opinions. in my eyes, this is sort of biased and partially incorrect, but maybe let people exist on the internet.

#my asks #curious anon

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faes-land · 4 years

Text

I Swear I’ll Never Leave Again-Winwin

Hi everyone! Ya girl is back with a new angsty smut for the lovely Winwin. I wrote this for my best friend because she is in LOVE with him lol. This is also based off the song I Swear I’ll Never Leave Again by keshi. Enjoy~

Pairings: Winwin X Female Reader

Genre: Angsty smut

Word Count: 4,323

Warnings: Smut, Oral (female receiving), make up sex

---

Sicheng looked at himself in the mirror and sighed; it felt like he couldn’t remember who he was. His life had been a whirlwind and it felt like he was going too fast. Every day felt like a blur to him.

Almost everything he did reminded him of you, and it hurt him that he wasn’t with you. You and him had broken up for some stupid reason and it was eating Sicheng up inside. He just wanted to be with you again.

He was head over heels in love with you, but he didn’t have you anymore. He couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. Or you being with someone else. The thought of you being with anyone but him tore him up.

He missed your kiss, your touch, your smile. He missed you. He’d give it all to go back to you. He wasn’t sure how he was going to, but he made sure he'd do it. He missed you too much.

Everything felt like a daily reminder that you and him were broken up. Either his friends would mention your name, or he’d find something that would remind him of you. He would dream about you and always think about talking to you after having those dreams. Of course, he would change his mind.

Sicheng didn’t want to keep feeling this way, so he wanted to talk to you again. Even if it hurt, he wanted to see you one more time. Maybe that wasn’t a good idea, maybe you never wanted to talk to him ever again; he wanted to at least try.

As Sicheng was getting ready for bed, he decided that he was going to reach out to you. Even if you didn’t reply to him, he wanted you to know he still cared.

He searched for his phone, went through his contacts, and found your number. He wasn’t able to delete it. He probably was going to keep it forever and never get rid of it. He mostly kept it because he hoped that you would be the one to talk to him, but he always knew deep down it would be him to reach out first.

Sicheng took a deep breath and started typing whatever came to mind. It could’ve been nonsense, but he didn’t want to filter himself. He really wanted you to know what you meant to him. As he typed, he felt his heart swell, but he also felt very relieved. He had been holding all of this in for so long.

"Dear Y/N,

I've been waiting for my sunshine to come back to me. You were everything to me, and I wish I could take back what happened between us. Y/N, I love you. I always have and I always will. I don't care if you don't like me anymore, I'll always be the one who loves you more than anyone else could. You meant the entire world to me, I only needed you. I wasn't happy with life until I met you. You made me feel important like I was worth something. I know you probably want nothing to do with me anymore, but just know I'll love you no matter what. I'm writing this to you so you know how I feel. I can only hope that you remember the good times we shared. I know I screwed up, but I'm willing to do anything to make it up to you. Every day, I regret the way I treated you. I'm so very sorry. For everything.

I wasn't thinking about you, only myself. I realize how selfish that was of me to hurt you the way I did, and if I could take it all back, I would in a heartbeat. You'll forever be in my heart, Y/N.

-Sicheng."

Sicheng had looked over that message many times before he thought about erasing it. He was never going to erase it, he was just scared of your response. Would he ever hit send? He felt scared to reach out to you. You broke up over a year ago, and by mutual friends, he knew you were doing fine without him.

You and Sicheng were together for two years before he called your relationship off. He said things to you that he wished he could take back. He just wants to hold you again, sing you to sleep, and kiss your lips. One of his favorite things to do was cook for you; you always happily ate anything he made for you.

He sighed while staring at his phone and thinking about you. The more he thought of you, the more he wanted to send the message to you. He tried to stop himself before looking at the pictures he still had of you in his phone, but he couldn't help himself. You’re the most beautiful woman to him.

You would never go back to him, not after the way he acted. He just wished he could do something so you would forgive him. He wants to at least talk to you, even if you weren’t happy. He wanted to see you one more time.

Sicheng decided to put his phone down and try to go to sleep. He didn't want to think about you anymore, but he knew you wouldn't leave his mind. Once he was all settled in his blankets, he read over the message one more time, but he still didn't send it. As bad as he wanted to, he couldn't make himself do it. Unbeknownst to him, he didn’t realize that when he put his phone down next to him, his thumb accidentally hit the send button.

He went to sleep thinking about you again. He dreamed of you, of a time when you were happy together. He missed you more than he ever thought he would.

When Sicheng woke up the next morning, he refused to look at his phone. He knew all his friends were trying to talk to him and tell him something that was only important to them. He felt like he needed a day to himself; he wanted to finally send the message to you and just let it all out. He didn't want it to hang over his head anymore.

He made himself a quick breakfast before taking a long hot shower. Should he send it? Or should he just let you go? So many things ran through his mind as he tried to think of what to do. He wanted to see you again, but he knew that was the last thing you wanted to do.

He heard his phone go off, but he assumed it was just one of his friends. He sighed before checking his phone; the handheld device had been going off nonstop. He scrolled through his notifications, seeing random texts from his friends; the usual. Until he scrolled on to one certain message.

He almost dropped his phone as he looked at who it was from: you. How did the message send? He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he read your message over and over.

"Sicheng...I never thought I would hear from you again. This was the first thing I saw when I woke up...to be honest, I'm not sure what to say right now. I missed you so much. What you said really hurt, but I know you didn't mean it. You had a lot going on and you weren't thinking. Honestly, I'm sorry for not talking things through with you. I should've tried to work it out with you instead of just letting us end the way we did. I still think about you all the time; I even dream about you. I thought about reaching out to you, but I was always too scared. I guess I was afraid you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. I have a lot I want to say to you that won't fit over text, so I hope I can see or talk to you soon. I have work until 8 tonight, but after that I'm free. I miss you, Sicheng.

-Y/N."

Sicheng felt like his whole world was spinning. He couldn't tell if he was happy, relieved, or just in a state of shock. So many thoughts ran through his head that he didn't know what to do. He had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Should he call you tonight? Should he try to meet up with you when you weren’t working? He wanted to hear your voice again, but he mostly wanted to see you. He knew the best he could do for today was to call you when you were off of work. Of course, that was hours away and Sicheng was anxious to talk to you again.

Even though it would be much later when he talks to you, he was glad that he had time to think about what he wanted to say to you. There was so much he wanted to tell you, but he didn't know how. He didn't want to lose you again.

*****

A few hours had gone by, and Sicheng was expecting a call from you. He had sent you a short reply back letting you know that he would be available and that he couldn't wait to talk to you again. He felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest as he became more nervous. He was hoping he wouldn’t be awkward with you. It had been so long that he was afraid of what he might say.

As Sicheng was getting carried away with his thoughts, his phone rang. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest when he saw your name on the screen. He took a deep breath before answering, “Y/N?”

You slightly gasped hearing his voice. You were also very nervous to talk to him, and you weren’t sure how you felt. “Hey, Sicheng. How have you been?”

He couldn’t help but feel a little sad at the formalities, but he was also happy to just be talking to you. “I’ve been okay. I miss you, and I meant every word I said, Y/N.”

“I know, and I miss you too.” Your voice was shaky as you tried to keep yourself from crying. All these emotions you put behind you so that you could forget about him. Here he was, telling you that he missed you and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. A part was you was happy to talk to him again, but another part of you was afraid of getting hurt again.

“Can I see you?”

“Sicheng, I don’t know if that’s a ver-”

“Please, Y/N? I don’t think doing this over the phone is good for either of us.” He knew he probably shouldn’t have asked, but he also knew that this would be easier in person.

As much as you wanted to say no, you also really wanted to see him. You still loved him and maybe being face to face will help you figure out your feelings. “Fine. I still live in the same apartment. My roommate is with Hendery so you can come over tonight.” The truth was that you didn’t hate him, and you knew what he did before was a mistake.

Sicheng couldn’t even believe your words. Were you sure about this? There was no turning back now, you already said it. “Okay. I’ll be there soon. Thank you, Y/N.”

“See you in a little bit.” Then you hung up and you burst into tears. Was this really happening? Now is the time to cry before he sees you like this. You really did miss him and you couldn’t imagine yourself with anyone else but him. He made you feel a way that you’d never felt before.

Sicheng couldn’t help but smile to himself. He was really going to see you again; after all this time. His mind raced thinking about you and after hearing your voice again. He didn’t want to get himself excited about seeing you, so he did his best to not think about when you and him used to be happy. For all he knows, you probably hate him and this will be the last time you see each other.

Every possible scenario ran through his head as he got ready to leave his quiet apartment. Would you get back together? Would this be it? Of course, Sicheng would want nothing more than to be with you again, but he also would understand if you wanted nothing to do with him.

The drive to your apartment was short, but it was long enough for him to figure out what he wanted to say to you. Of course, his message said almost everything, but it still didn’t feel like enough to him. He wanted you to know how sincere his words really were.

When he got up to your door he sighed. If he was being honest to himself, he didn’t expect to be here again. Memories flowed through his head as he stared at your apartment number. How many times had he been here before? As strange as it felt to be back, it also felt very natural to him.

He knocked on your door and a few seconds later, there you were. You were as beautiful as ever to him, but he could see that you had been crying. He felt his heart swell seeing you like this and he knew that he was the reason you were crying. “Hey,” he said softly.

You cleared your throat. “Hi, Sicheng. You can come in.” Then you stepped aside to let him in your apartment and he took off his shoes. He watched you as you locked the door behind him. As he looked at you, all he wanted to do was take you in his arms and hold you close, but he controlled himself.

Without a word, you started walking towards the couch in your living room. Sicheng followed after you and sat down next to you. His eyes were sad, but you could see the little bit of hope in them. You gave him a soft smile before you began to speak. “You know I never hated you, right?”

Sicheng looked down at his feet; guilt creeping up. “I thought you did and that’s why I stayed away for so long. I’m sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that and I’d give it all to go back. I wish I never hurt you.”

“You hurt me really bad, Sicheng, but I forgive you.” You sighed as you looked at him. “I..still love you,” you said softly and grabbed his hand.

Sicheng was speechless. Did you really just say that you still loved him? He never thought he’d hear you say anything close to that. “Y/N, please give me another chance. I’m better, I promise.”

Then slowly, Sicheng inched his way closer to you and softly attached his lips to yours. Both of you loved this feeling. Once again, you were connected to each other and neither of you wanted to lose this feeling.

You pulled away to look in his beautiful brown eyes. “I missed you,” then you pulled him in for another kiss.

Next thing you knew, Sicheng was carrying you to your bed where he undressed you and him. His lips were all over your body as you laid underneath him. He couldn’t believe he had you again, and he wanted to make sure you were happy. Each kiss from him sent shivers down your spine; everything felt so familiar but new. It had been too long since you and him were intimate like this. His gentle lips felt like heaven.

His lips were back on yours as his hands caressed your naked body; soft moans came out of you when one of his hands was on your breast, playing with your nipple. His touch sent electricity through your entire body; this felt too good to be true. He moved his intoxicating lips from yours to your exposed neck, making you moan a little louder.

He kissed all over your skin, remembering your sweet spot. As his hand fiddled with your nipple, his lips moved down to your other one. He looked up at your beautiful face before he took the erect nipple in his mouth and flicked his tongue against it. Your back arched slightly at the new feeling. “Sicheng..” You moaned and he could feel himself blushing. It had been too long since he heard you say his name like this.

His tongue circled on your nipple, while his hand kept toying with the other one. You were getting wetter with each movement he did, and you couldn’t wait to be connected with him again. Your hands were in his dark hair, tugging slightly as your breathing was becoming heavier. All he’s done was play with your breasts and your head was already spinning.

He removed his lips from your nipple and started to kiss lower on your body. His plump lips kissed all over your torso before pausing at your bare bottom half. Oh, how he missed you and your taste. Sicheng nestled himself between your thighs, leaving kisses and nibbles on your skin that was exposed just for him.

Your breathing hitched when you felt him leave a soft kiss on your clit. Sicheng looked up at you to gauge your reaction, even though he knew just how much you loved it when he teased you. He still remembered your body, what you liked, what you didn’t like. He also knew that you were getting kind of impatient by the way you were tugging on his hair.

Sicheng left a small lick on your entrance and you moaned pretty loudly. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss his tongue and his touch; he knew just how to please you better than anyone else. His tongue swirled around your clit as you soon felt him insert a finger inside you slowly. “Sicheng!” You said at the new sensation. You felt him smile on you as he pumped his finger in you, coating it in your juices.

He moved his tongue faster as he curled his long finger inside of you, remembering where your spot was. This made you close your legs around his head, and he chuckled. He loved the feeling of being trapped between your legs because he knew it meant he was making you feel good. All he wanted was for you to be satisfied.

“S-Sicheng...oh my god,” You moaned out again as he added a second finger in you, adding to your pleasure. His movements were driving you wild, but you also just wanted him to be inside you again. As much as you loved what he was doing to you, you wanted to properly feel him.

Of course, once he curled his fingers again, your mind was starting to go blank and you clenched around his fingers and tongue. Sicheng started to suck and nibble on your clit, making you get close to your orgasm. He was a little too skilled with his tongue. Your breathing was getting heavier with each passing second, and Sicheng knew you were close so he gave you one last kiss before pulling away from you. He removed his fingers from you and you whimpered at the loss, but you knew what was coming next.

Sicheng began kissing up on your body before connecting them back to your lips, making you taste yourself on him. As he repositioned himself to be on top of you, you were able to feel the tip of his hard cock against your inner thigh. You reached your hand down and placed your fingers around his length, rubbing the tip of his dick with your thumb. His tip was wet with precum and he shivered at the feeling of your hand on him.

He pulled away from your lips to groan your name. The deep sound that came from his through was making you even wetter than before; he had such a sexy voice when he moaned. You kept pumping him slowly and he grabbed your wrist. “St-stop. I want this to be about you tonight.” The look in his eyes was sincere, full of love, and lust. How could you say no? You removed your hand and leaned up to kiss him softly. He smiled at you before reaching over to your bedside table, remembering you kept condoms in the drawer for him. “Do you still have the condoms here?”

You nodded at him as he looked in the drawer and found the one condom you had left in there. It was the last one left from the last time you and him had sex. Sicheng rose up from your body so that he could properly slide the condom onto his hard shaft. You watched him and bit your lip; you couldn’t wait to be with him again.

He leaned back down and kissed you. One of his hands grabbed your leg and put it around his waist as his other hand lined his tip with your entrance. You moaned softly as you felt him tease your entrance. “Sicheng…”

He kissed you one more time before he pushed himself inside you all the way to the hilt. Your arms were around his shoulders, holding him close to you. It had been so long since you’d been with him that you almost forgot how good this felt. You never wanted to lose this again.

“M-move,” you moaned and he began to move his hips inside you. His thrusts were slow, loving, and careful. Since this was your first time together in a long time, Sicheng wanted to make love to you. He kissed all over your neck and your fingers moved up into his hair, tangling them in his dark strands.

With each thrust, you could feel how much he loved you, how much he cared about you and how much he missed you. You missed him just as much and you couldn’t believe you had him with you again; it didn’t feel real. You weren’t dreaming, right?

You realized you definitely were not dreaming when he started to move his hips a little bit faster in you, to a pace that he knew you liked. You moved your other leg so that you could wrap it around his waist and you pulled him even closer to you. You wanted him to be as close to you as possible.

Sicheng was officially trapped between your legs and he couldn’t be happier. This was his favorite position and he loved every second. Your grip around his waist tightened as his thrusts became a little harsher. Sicheng was deep inside you and you felt like you were on cloud nine. How could he make you feel this good every time?

It never mattered how many times you had sex, it always felt like the first time. His lips were back on yours when he found a pace that was just right for the two of you. It was gentle, but firm, not too slow or too fast; perfect for you two.

The tip of his cock had reached that sweet spot inside of you and you pulled away from his lips to moan out his name. Sicheng felt proud of himself for being the one to make you feel this good and to be that loud. Your moans were music to his ears and he just wanted to hear you moan all night long.

Your hands had moved down to his shoulders, gripping them tightly as he kept thrusting into you. The way Sicheng knew how to move his hips had you in awe every time. He was such a skilled lover. Sicheng looked down at the woman beneath him and he was so happy to have you back in his arms like this. He adored you, and he loved that he was the reason you had so much pleasure.

As your moans became louder, he knew you were close to your high. He was as well, but he wanted to make sure that you were satisfied first. Sicheng moved one of his hands from your hips and began to rub circles on your clit, making you clench around his length. You weren’t sure how much longer you were going to last with the extra stimulation. Your voice was starting to become hoarse as you kept moaning out his name and random profanities.

Your nails were leaving little crescent marks on his shoulders as the pleasure was almost becoming too intense for you. Sicheng attached his lips back to yours, and his kiss, mixed with the way his fingertips were rubbing on your clit, was enough to trigger your orgasm. You felt your toes curl as his tip hit your spot repeatedly. You couldn’t even make a sound as your high hit you like a train.

As you tightened around Sicheng he also reached his own orgasm. He thrust into you softly as he spilled himself into the condom. He slowly pumped himself inside you to milk out both of your orgasms.

His kiss was gentle and loving as he stayed inside you for a little bit longer than usual. You stayed connected to each other as you lazily kissed. Your sticky, and sweaty bodies clinging to each other.

Finally, Sicheng pulled out of you before he removed the condom and threw it away in your trash bin. He collapsed next to you in your bed and you went right back into his arms. He held you close and kissed your forehead, your nose and your lips. “I love you, Y/N. I swear I’ll never leave again,”

You smiled up at him. “I know. I love you too.”

#Winwin #Winwin fanfic #Winwin smut #Dong Sicheng fanfic #Dong Sicheng #NCT #NCT 127 #WAYV #NCT fanfic #NCT 127 fanfic #WAYV fanfic #NCT 127 smut #NCT smut #WAYV smut #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #Dong Sicheng smut #I like this one

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yanbub · 3 years

Text

multiple announcements coming through !

okok first of all, im back 😋. as in ill be fully active again like usual xdxd.

i know i didn't seem like i was on a semi-hiatus but shhh i had to take care of things and i had to fix my mental stability too.

i'm really sorry that i didn't reply to my inbox while i was gone !! i was very unmotivated to reply during the whole break even tho i rbed some ask games LOL. ill reply to them later so your wait won't be that long anymore !

thank you all 4 ur patience and efforts 💞

pls read the other announcements utc! its all important and i just cut it so that it wont clog up other's dashboards.

second of all, the blog will go a heavy revamp session! please don't mind the spam posting, it'll just be me organizing my blog all over again.

the revamp will include the following:

a new tagging system

(finally) an official post for my blog rules, writing rules, etc. i know i have a carrd for that but im tired of editing it every now and then

a clean up! ill be deleting some old posts such as my shitposts and some other miscellaneous things i want out of this blog. and sadly, this includes the requests that was left in my inbox. sorry that you didn't get your request done ^^'

i think thats p much it? again dont mind the spam posting you'll see when this is in progress!

asks will be answered AFTER this revamp session is done.

third, a new character for the character list! thoma is added now. as for gorou, well, that's still dependable since i haven't grasped his personality yet with the little interaction we got from the archon quests. ill try writing for him but only on specific and self indulgent ideas.

not that important but new theme hehe. ive had this theme on pc for a while now but i wanted to change it on mobile once im back from the break. anyways stan remi ayasaki for clear skin yalls

to explain further about me deleting requests in my inbox, as you saw during my break i only posted self indulgent content.

i don't really wanna open requests for a while since i have so many self indulgent ideas that i wanna focus on. the ideas that you sent in were honestly great but im sorry that i won't be able to write it :((

though there might be times that i won't be writing because deadass i post content almost everyday, i need a break too 🧍‍♀️.

HOWEVER! if you're willing to send in some brainrot at my inbox, ill be more than glad to whip up a small blurb/ficlet for you! or maybe ill add more onto that brainrot, who knows really.

YEAH THAT'S ALL IT FEELS GREAT TO BE BACK HOLY SHIT HWK2HKDHDJDJDJCJC

anyways if you reached this part of the post, congrats! you're probs the only one who bothered to read all the important announcements.

ill be off to revamp the blog now and istg ill finally answer asks after that 😭 i missed interacting w yall but i swear my motivation said no <//3

bye bye now, ty for reading <33

#🍥 ; announcement

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makeste · 4 years

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Hi! Just wanted to say I love your metas and reactions ❤️❤️ Also I wanted to drop this tweet here (I'm afraid Tumblr will eat this ask if I include the whole link bc it happened to me a few times already, so I'm only leaving the most important part of the link): trkano_ status 1360988525374492680

Also because I'm paranoid I switched slashes to spaces so it for sure doesn't get eaten :')

So, I wanted to ask - do you think Caleb's translation could, like, become confusing to the actual plot/characters later on? I mean, Hori definitely shows his story to be different than Caleb tries to present it to the readers as and I'm curious if it could cause a disonance of sorts in a "why do you act this way now when you said this and that earlier???" way. Like, apparently in the volume release Shouto says to Endeavor (Idr which scene it was sorry) "You're a rotten number one. You were just in the right place at the right time - that's all." instead of the previous (correct afaik) which was (*drumrolls*) "I'm here to use you for my own reasons.", which also openly contradicts what Shouto said after the battle with the High-end, that while Enji is terrible father, Endeavor is quite inspiring hero. With how misleading the translation of chapter 301 is, I'm curious if it'll get better (someone will tell Caleb to be more profesional maybe) or worse. Until now it was more of nuances but the clarification tweet I linked surprised me a lot. So yeah, I'd like to hear your thoughts on it if you feel like sharing :)

hello! first of all, thank you! I'll go ahead and post the direct link here: link. (tumblr absolutely does delete asks with links for spam reasons though so I get the paranoia, lol.)

I think this thread makes some good points regarding Rei’s tone in particular, and they were things I was noticing too when I read Viz’s translation yesterday. however, I don’t want to start piling on Caleb, because he’s already dealt with a ton of undue harassment over this sort of thing to the point where he had to lock his twitter, and that sort of thing really bothers me. my personal rule of fandom is that real people always take priority over fictional characters in a story. period. there’s absolutely no justification for sending personal attacks to real live people simply because of their opinions on fictional characters. fictional characters don’t have feelings. they can’t be hurt. but the people receiving death threats from overzealous fans on the internet absolutely can be. so yeah, I think a lot of people absolutely have their priorities way out of line in that regard, and so for me it’s almost not worth getting into this debate at all because it’s already escalated way too far.

and then the other thing is that Caleb has frequently inferred that he doesn’t have editorial control over the final translations that get approved, and that there’s an entire team of editors who have the ability to make changes to his work, sometimes without notifying him. moreover, because he works with these people and in some cases works for these people, he can’t exactly call them out on twitter unless he wants to risk his job. in particular, he all but confirmed that the “you’re a rotten number one...” translation was one of these cases. not only that, but he didn’t even know about the change until it started making the rounds on the internet and he started getting harassed about it. so yeah, that’s pretty shitty. I can only imagine what it’s like to have someone change your work without telling you and then publish it with your name still attached to it, and to only find out because people start spamming you with death threats on your personal fan twitter. like, geez.

so regarding the translation nuances in this latest chapter, I don’t really know! Caleb seems to be aware of the latest discourse but hasn’t addressed it, again hinting that he’s not really free to do so:

does that prove that these translations aren’t his? nope. is it possible that some of the other editors -- perhaps ones who are less familiar with the characters and more concerned with punching up the dialogue, and who don’t care if the localization is completely accurate -- changed some of his wording around? absolutely. is it something we can do anything about either way? probably not, unfortunately.

I guess to sum my feelings up, this is why I like to read multiple translations myself, and I’m glad that this fandom has so many knowledgeable people who are able to provide those. unfortunately, not everyone is going to bother reading different translations of the same thing each week, and so if one of the translations happens to be off (which goes both ways incidentally, because there are people who only read the leaks and not the official version), those people might wind up with a slightly inaccurate view of some parts of the story. which sucks, but is also not the end of the world. and honestly, given how blown out of proportion this weekly “look what Caleb did now” witch hunt has gotten (and I’m not calling you out in particular here, anon, but more referring to the discourse on twitter which has really spun out of control), more than ever my current instinct is to just to read all the translations I can, pick the ones that seem right/make the most sense to me, and shrug the rest of it off.

#bnha 301 #caleb cook #todoroki rei #todoroki shouto #todoroki enji #endeavor #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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f-117-nighthawk · 3 years

Text

Playlist Update? From MY Brain? More Likely Than You Think

can't remember the last time I posted these all together but I just put a few new songs in. I've been playing Arknights bc STARSET songs keep being used in the trailers, and then I was listening to Transmissions while making dinner, and uhhhhh there's two new Transmissions songs on the playlists, plus whatever else the spotify links needed to update to my ever-changing apple versions.

This is just the main playlist, because this one is now 3h 40m, and the other three playlists are about an hour each. I’ll give them their own post tomorrow. Under the cut, because it's also Write Random Snippits and Include Important Lyrics time

Dark Matter

Surprise surprise, this one’s got probably the most work done on it. A lot of that is moving things around, a few deletions, and the additions.

DM now starts with Your World Will Fail, Dark Matter, and Eater of Worlds. Turn the Lights Out still kinda applies, but I stopped vibing with it starting everything, and wasn’t really sure where else it should go so it got dropped. It’s role is sort of picked up by a UtA song later? Anyway, the opening three are still very much about not only the birth of [REDACTED], but the birth of the universe itself. And that’s why it feels better to start out with YWWF. Because it is the start.

(Your world will fail my love/It’s far beyond repair/Your world will fail my love/It is already there)

(Bring me your soul/Bring me your hate/In my name you will create/Bring me your fear/Bring me your pain/You will destroy in my name)

(Can’t imagine the violence/The rage and the love in my madness/I am the eater of worlds and I’m looking for someone to feed me)

Remnants of Stars is a hook to Filaments at this point, but stays way up here because the thing it’s about connects back up to those three ^ and is something slowly realized by the Paladins throughout the series. There’s kinda three different points that they realize something new about this (at the moment, I Am the One, Cosmic Vertigo, and Centigrade).

(Shed all you know and make way for a galaxy of light/Answers found hidden inside the smallest stone/Bringing forth a new way of life/Open your heart to the sky)

Apocalypse 1992 hasn’t changed. Still about The Fall, still the turning point for the entire damn war. Still about poor Krolia. Still the Rogue One of DM. It happens between parts of Awakenings, detailing the rise of [REDACTED] and the final hours before the destruction of everything sentient species knew beforehand.

(Fly high through apocalypse skies/Fight for the world we must save/Like tears of a unicorn lost in the rain/Chaos will triumph this day)

Apex is the final moments of Apocalypse 1992 from the Red Lion’s perspective, and connects nicely (just as in the albums lol) to the next UtA songs. Which we’ll get to in a bit.

(Brother mountain/Now we sleep/For a thousand years/I will see you again/Something is coming/Coming for me)

You Keep What You Kill covers the slow degeneration of the Empire between The Fall and the Battle of Arus. The knowledge harshly taught by the Thuanial War is forgotten under the influence of Zarkon, Haggar, and [REDACTED]. Marzin and Galraasa quickly rise the ranks as the Empire’s left and right hands, like omens of destruction before them. The four are the ‘holy half-dead,’ the ones who shape the devouring of the universe before them.

(Defying dimensions/These ruthless creatures will steal your soul/Breaking away from the chains of mortality/They won’t be taken down/Bow now to the holy half dead/The master to death mongers calls)

The Glory and the Scum is partially here bc I missed having Delain, I’ll freely admit that. (Delain split up! Like six months ago! I’m still sad!) Here, it’s (most) of the reason why Krolia isn’t around until MGHM. Think Winter Soldier-ish. It’s also from Krolia’s perspective as she’s talking to Kolivan in a conversation I implied in Shatterpoint. Perhaps it shall see the light of day.

(Look at what we've done/Take a step back/Shake your head at what we have become/We're the glory and the scum)

The Seven Sisters is about Keith, mostly, and connected to Closure via its influence on Child From the Stars (Lost in the Dark) and also to Memories of a Girl I Haven’t Met. Also the thing about the Pleiades has kinda become A Thing associated with my two favorite halfbloods.

(I cast my hope upon The Pleiades/The Seven Sisters who would come for me/They’d fall to Earth to grant a child’s dream/But I’m still waiting)

Starlight is the Adashi song. Here, it’s the sad part, based around the time that the SFSS Genesis launches for Kerberos. It also is sort of about Shiro’s thoughts throughout the war as he watches ‘from distant skies’ (and influences String Theory kinda)

(At night the earth will rise/And I’ll think of you each time I watch from distant skies/Whenever stars go down and galaxies ignite/I’ll think of you each time they wash me in their light/And I’ll fall in love with you again)

Waking Dream and Abyss are Awakenings. They’re specifically the Red Lion waking up on Sendak’s ship to her new Paladin, but also sort of the rest of the Lions as they find new Paladins for the first time since The Fall (and, also, an accidental hook to the end of Filaments just by virtue of being on the same UtA album…)

(Centuries like flowing streams as years go rushing by/Waiting in the dark for afterlife)

(Open my eyes in a daze/How long has it been? Am I so out of place?/Warmth I can no longer feel/My mountain is gone, I’m surrounded by steel/The strangest of structures arises ahead/Seems to be held up by nothing/Where have I gone, do I dream?/How can the stars be all I can see?)

Who Will Save You Now is about the Paladins in First Contact. It’s the video messages they send to their families, the warning that Something Is Out Here that they need to prepare for. It’s a declaration of protection for Earth, but a recognition that the Paladins may not be able to do what they say.

(I will not take from you and you will not owe/I will protect you from the fire below/It’s not in my mind/It’s here at my side/Go tell the world that I’m still alive)

Then there’s The End of the Beginning. Which is, well, the eponymous fic. And don’t forget the String Theory connection! Fun fact: part of the last chapter leads directly into part of String Theory at the moment.

(Every night I die just a little/All this time, I’m caught in the middle/All your life, you fought with no winning/This is just the end of the beginning)

A Simple Plan is about anything but a simple plan. Lotor is making his secret bid for the construction of the Sinkline ships, but there’s one more thing he needs before it can come to fruition. Haggar has suspicions, and knows one thing that she needs to keep from both him and Voltron. Team Voltron is still struggling to fit into their new roles, especially with a Black Paladin who adamantly does not want to be Black Paladin, and is in desperate need of one thing to fix the last of the damage done during the Battle of the Sarnan Nebula.

(How long can we hold off ending?/How long can we pretend we’re ok?/No one goes on fighting it forever/I know I’m better this way)

Memories of a Girl I Haven’t Met. Such a short song for such an important fic. It skips all the way over Naxzela to the Mission to the Baaria Shipyards, the first major offensive that isn’t somehow connected to canon (even if only a very very small part of it is actually at the shipyards lol). This is also the song that solidified Keith’s very queer identity in Dark Matter. And more Pleiades stuff!

(In this lonely place, bathed in silence and thoughts of you/I can’t see your face but I’m trying to envision you/So are you really out there? Are you awake with memories/Of a boy you haven’t met yet who’s wished upon the Pleiades?)

There’s another fic in here that I’m still waiting for a song to catch my ear, but it’s pretty big so I’m putting it in here. For the moment, it’s called MGHM 2.0: Electric Paladinloo. Featuring the Whispers, Voltron, and a few mullets.

And then. Hoh boy. The beast of beats. TRIALS (reimagine), Dark On Me, String Theory, and I Am the One. We’ve got [REDACTED], we’ve got [spoiler], we’ve got the first major turning point in the entire war, and the first revelation of the true nature of [REDACTED]. Hence the honor of being the separation point of my two main DM folders. TRIALS is the first part, the horrifying realization. Dark On Me and String Theory itself are from Shiro’s perspective. I Am the One is… an image song? I guess? That’s all I’ll say on that. (I would like to note that the STARSET songs bar OWtT tend to be about the Shiroganes…)

(Hear me from the bottom/Forged in regret, I'm the silversmith/Doomsday, you we had it coming/Marching the streets with an iron fist/Obey no more in silence/The steel in our hearts will be monuments/Today, they'll hear the violence/We'll rise from the dark like Lazarus)

(You're the cause/The antidote/The sinking ship that I could not let go/You led my way, then disappeared/How could you just walk away and leave me here?/Light the night up, you're my dark star/And now you're falling away)

(You don’t believe in space/You don’t believe in light/You don’t believe that anything is well beyond your might/We walk across the sky and beneath the ocean floor/We’re never going anywhere we’ve never been before)

(I am the one/I am the architect to rule your fate)

House on Fire is the aftermath of String Theory, and a large vibe of We ARE Struggling Together! It’s about family, never letting go of something you care about, and the slow act of trusting.

(So I’ll just hold you like a hand grenade/You touch me like a razor blade/I wish there was some other way right now/Like a house on fire we’re up in flames/I’d burn here if that’s what it takes/To let you know I won’t let go of you)

Belgrade is The klance song! It is a) a bop b) always stuck in my head because it is That Good. The line in the chorus about ‘sweet songs of seduction’ is eternally funny to me bc a)they’re both ace and b)QPR’s don’t usually involve seduction. Belgrade also leads almost directly into…

(We pretend in the darkness/We pretend the night won’t steal our youth/Singing me the sweet songs of seduction/Let me be the fool, fool, fool/Who will live and die for you)

Here to Save You is about Sam. Mostly. It’s also about Pidge. And Zaivorge cannons.

(A slave for humankind/I made sure I would survive/To stay alive/Now it’s time to move on/When there’s nothing left to prove/I’m coming to get you)

Iron is the third Closure fic (the second is End of the Beginning, forgot to mention that. They’ve slowly moved away from actually being related to it in anything but name and general idea). It’s about Keith coming to terms with parts of himself, and learning how to use them to great effect. Also has a huge info dump about the Blade.

(You can’t live without the fire/It’s the heat that makes you strong/‘Cause you’re born to live/And fight it all the way/You can’t hide what lies inside you/It’s the only thing you know/You’re embracing that, never walk away)

The second major turning point in the war is Monarch, Birthright, and Firewall. I really recommend reading the whole lyrics for Monarch, because the entire thing is very much a Lotor song. I had a bit of trouble picking a lyric to use here. Monarch is here because Lotor is also the ‘singer’ of Birthright, and both songs are to a very specific high-level target of the Coalition. Firewall is a little different as it’s a Team Voltron song not a Lotor song, but happens because of the same thing the other two do. They’re all not exactly a direct result of Iron, but they wouldn’t happen how they do without it, and then [REDACTED] swings back into the fray and things learned in String Theory/the framing story for Through Apocalypse Skies hit in full force.

(I am not the person you remember from before/The one you patronized and stepped on, the one you hurt/And I have pulled the arrows, now my skin has become stone/No longer am I prisoner to your empty fucking words)

(The voices in my head have all begun to sing/(The voices in your head have all begun to sing)/And they sure as hell hope I am listening/(I sure as hell hope you are listening!))

(They come to your dreams with illusion/They come to bring shape to your mind/You know how to stop the intrusion/We all have to fight for our lives)

and then, The Day the Earth Collapsed

(How much time has been elapsed/Since the day the earth collapsed?)

Here Comes the Reign doesn’t come into full effect until several months after Birthright/Firewall, but starts with The Day the Earth Collapsed. It’s largely about Haggar and [REDACTED]

(You made something they can’t take away/Now bring the fire of the burning sun on everyone)

Supersonic is here… kinda as a placeholder? Things have shifted around since its original purpose, and frankly it’s here still as a framework for what I like to call The Meme Battle. It’s generally about the increase in Coalition support and general winning as they go after warlords in the aftermath of Feyiv, culminating in I Need a Hero which is, of course, The Meme Battle.

Yes, it’s the Shrek version. It’s the Meme Battle.

(Supersonic, polyphonic, this is our war/Mustering the armies, marching faster than before)

(I need a hero/I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night/He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast/And he's gotta be fresh from the fight)

But Tonight We Dance isn’t exactly a klance song, but it’s here for them. On a diplomatic mission gone wrong, the Red and Blue Paladins of Voltron uncover a literally-buried government conspiracy, a rebel cell, and nearly die. A normal days work for the two of them. But they’ve really gotta stop having relationship milestones in the middle of a warzone.

Another reason it’s here is Tonight We Dance is a very aro song to me. “A language universal, but I speak not its tongue” hits hard. I felt like I needed a bit in here to remind listeners/readers that romance isn’t a language Keith speaks. And it becomes very explicit in this fic, just like Belgrade.

(Tomorrow we might wake in servitude and silence/I will give you everything if only you would have me/Tomorrow we will sweat and toil/Our hands will quiver, caked with soil/Tomorrow we'll give it one last chance/But tonight we dance/But tonight we dance!)

But Tonight We Dance is the last of the Closure fics, which is why it’s here. Closure in general is a lot of Keith’s character development and some of the struggles he goes through to accept his place in the universe and the fact that yes, he does have people that care about him. The last fic is me shining a brighter light on Closure’s chorus and taking a ‘last goodbye’ as never needing to say it again

(I am the child from the stars/That got lost in the dark/Between heaven and hell/I am forced to live on/I am the cause when you sin/I am the demon you skin/But there is no more tears to beautify/This is my last goodbye)

Then we step back into the universe-level action with Soulbound. Revelations from String Theory and Firewall swing back in with a vengeance on a joint Whispers-Voltron mission, leaving them reeling and Krolia questioning her very identity.

(Soulbound, endlessly forever/Locked between the darkness and the light/Don’t drown in the swarming, blackened rising/Hold on to humanity and fight)

About three months after that is My Darkest Hour and Faster Than Light. Haggar realizes something and goes searching for her fifth [spoiler], sending the Blade and the rest of the Coalition scrambling. These also lead directly, and I mean directly, into…

(When the sun comes crashing down/When the world is spinning round and round/I will face what must be my darkest hour)

(Once more we’re flying fast as light/Dark matter passing in the night/Pursued by a force we can’t outrun/As we hurtle towards a dying sun/We maneuver through the remnants of a moon/On the solar winds of supernovas/There is not a place to hide, the Matriarch is close behind/It’s plain to see she’s coming for us all)

Cosmic Vertigo and Other Worlds Than These. Together they are the second of two revelations in what, exactly, is [REDACTED]

(Banish me like burned down planets/Write my fate with sparkling lies/I am the universe; you're just one sky)

(Pull the wool out from your eyes/It won’t shade your frail belief/In the end we cannot hide/There are other worlds than these)

Godhunter is Team Voltron, well, hunting for gods, even as one of them disappears.

(She’s been watching for a century/With hatred, and with scorn/If you know the hunter’s coming/Then you hide or keep on running/'Cause she’s slain the gods before)

Trophy Hunter, Ember, and Redemption are the culmination of Godhunter. I’ve been thinking of them as akin to the suicide mission in Mass Effect 2, if that gives you an idea of what the hell they run into. Also I switched which specific Redemption is on the playlist, because I was listening to Red Handed Denial again and their Redemption was vibing way more than the Hammerfall one. They link up to Godhunter and Soulbound in subject matter, and lead directly into…

(You, you won’t escape me, I’ll rise from the deep/In this final moment, no words left to say/I can’t let you be when a life fades away/You, you won’t escape me ‘cause I’ll set you free)

(Dark matter falling from the sky/Dancing flames reflecting in your eyes as you watch them burn/Watching all your riches witches burn)

(Remember me not for the mess I’ve made/But who I could have been/Finally I’m going home)

World On Fire, This is a Call, The Reckoning, The Wind That Shapes the Land, and Louder Than Words. Switched the order up a bit so it makes more sense chronologically, because the message ‘sent by forces beyond salvation’ has to get there before the reckoning can begin.

(World on fire with a smoking sun/Stops everything and everyone/Brace yourself for all will pay/Help is on the way)

(This is a call to action/This is a call to arms/All lives for one, together/There are no false alarms)

(I see your face, find peace of mind/Between the madness and the sadness and the fire burning/The end of war, the great divine/We’ll see the day of reckoning)

(Search within/Uncover the will to win/Turn against the tide that washes o'er/Find the strength to fall and rise again/Open up the gates, unleash the force/I am the wind that shapes the land/Old as time and twice as strong/Oceans arise at my command/I alone can carry on)

(We have the force to fight/We have the blinding light/A war is more than heard/Coming in louder than words)

#i am dark matter; your road to ruin #dm playlists #guess who spent two hours on this! again!#as usual!#long post #i'm teaching in the morning and it's one am #oops

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