#not sure how high the rating will actually get on this one but we shall see

[moonshine-nightlight]

Free Piano: Haunted - Part 1

When you drive by the piano on the way home from a job across town, you almost don’t stop. But your kid’s been wanting to learn how to play—a desire that’s stuck around for the last few months, a rarity—and this one’s free. It needs some TLC and while you’ve no experience with instruments, you’re good with your hands. On impulse, you pull over. Soon enough, you’re loading the free piano into the back of your truck. You barely give a passing thought to the “haunted” part of the sign.

Perhaps you should have.

Inspiration post: Haunted Free Piano Pic

Modern, enemies to friends to lovers, ghosts/spirits/specters, male monster x male reader, M/M, Part 1 of 8

Part One [Part Two]

You’re on your way home from a job across town when you see it.

You’re waiting at a busy all-way stop-sign intersection, counting your turn, when you see something big and wood on the side of the road. While people occasionally leave old or unwanted furniture out on the side of the road for either the garbage collectors, or anyone really, to take–it's not often.

The first time you ever actually stopped for one of these was with your grandpa, who was driving you home after baseball practice. He’d decided not to take the chair home that time—he said never take anything with upholstery because who knows what sort of bugs or vermin could be in it—but you two had stopped a few times after that. 

You’d helped him take home an old record player cabinet, once. He’d even let you stick around while he fixed it up–the first time you’d ever done any work like that in your life. Even though all he had you do was hold things for him for the most part, it had earned his trust in your abilities, leading to a few other projects he’d drafted you for. It was the only project you’d gotten to work on with your gran, she was the one who knew how to restore the record player to functioning.  

You still had it in fact, now that you had their house. Your parents hadn’t expected to inherit it, hadn’t really known what to do with it, but well, then came your divorce. It had made you feel like you belonged, that you weren’t just sneaking into their house–reminded you that you had contributed to the house with them. You’d still felt like a trespasser those first few weeks, there without Grandpa, but looking at the record player cabinet, and other spots you’d helped with at Grandpa’s side, helped ease that feeling.

You carried on with the habit, picking up an old TV stand for your college apartment with some buddies and a nightstand for your first apartment after that—easier to come by in the city you were living in at the time. 

You pull yourself from your memories when your turn comes and on impulse, you go right instead of going straight. You’re just curious enough to want to take a closer look and it’s not like you have anywhere to be. 

When you get close enough to pass by it, you’re surprised to see it's not furniture—it's a piano. Before you realize it, you’ve pulled into a driveway and turned around, coming up behind it on the correct side of the street. You don’t play, but your kid’s been wanting to learn. You’ve been considering getting an electronic keyboard, but they’ve never sounded right to your ear. Besides, while not as bad as a real one, any good instrument is expensive. 

This one is free.

Well, you think as you hop down from your pickup to take a closer look, it doesn’t look like it's in great shape.  The wood’s beat up and covered with what looks like water stains, discoloring and mildly warping the finish. But it's got a matching little bench, with a beat up, damaged design of what you think are supposed to be flowers or vines of some kind. 

And then there’s the sign.

 Ductaped together and to the piano itself is what looks like the side of a cardboard box with a piece of printer paper taped on top that in big, but neat print says “Priceless Antique”. Under that is another panel with very dark, large block letters merely saying “FREE”. Finally, under that is a third pane, looking even more hastily tacked on than the first two parts, stating “HAUNTED” in the same print as “FREE” but this word is underlined-twice. You appreciate the contradiction of “priceless” and “free”. The ‘haunted’ part causes you to raise an eyebrow: why would someone trying to get rid of something purposely label it haunted?

Restoration on this, even just the wood, will probably cost a fair amount—let alone any sort of specialist, mechanical restoration it’ll need.

But you’re a contractor by trade, which means you at least have access to more tools and supplies than most and you know the right people to ask for help—hell, isn’t there a youtube video for everything these days anyways? It's probably still cheaper than buying one.

You carefully flip up the lid to reveal the keys. They seem in better condition than the wood, only one or two looks damaged. You press a finger down on what you think is middle “C”. The note that rings out is clear and at the right volume, at least to your untrained ear. You don’t want to mess with it too much here on the street, but you hit two more keys at random, above and below, and they sound good enough—nothing obviously discordant or muted thuds from a hammer hitting wood instead of string.

You turn towards the house. No one’s come out to yell at you for messing with it, still… You shut the lid and reluctantly make your way over the house’s front door. It’s probably best to at least ring the bell and check with the current owners.

The bell rings louder than you expect and you’re already regretting deciding to voluntarily talk to strangers. You stand still, resisting the urge to fidget, until you start to think it's been long enough that you can just walk away when you hear footsteps from inside the house.

“Hi, sorry to bother you,” you say to the harried looking brunette a decade or so older than yourself who opens the door. “I just wanted to ask you about the piano?” You jerk your thumb over your shoulder in case she’s unaware of the free piano in her own yard. You’re glad when recognition blooms in her eyes before you can feel too silly for the gesture.

“Oh! Really? Great,” she says, sounding relieved. 

“It’s still available, yeah?” You didn’t want for someone to have already claimed it, but just not gotten around to moving it. No way did you want someone to accuse you of theft of their free item. Not again.

However, the woman just nods. “Yeah, definitely. You can take it. We’re moving to another state and there’s just not enough room. Besides, none of us can play it—my mother-in-law used to, but the arthritis means that's not a good idea anymore.”

“What sort of condition is it in?” You don’t know how much that’ll change your mind, but it can’t hurt to ask. A quick question with the owner can save time down the road—like if a drawer is locked and the key lost or where it was purchased from or what they’ve used on it before. Any extra info is helpful with these types of things.

She frowns a little and you can’t tell if it's because you’re bothering  to ask when it's literally free or because she’s trying to remember. “It got a bit damaged when the roof leaked a few years ago, but we made sure that the strings were alright—no rust or anything. I think it needs a tune and doesn’t look the prettiest, but,” she shrugs, “that’s why we’re just giving it away.”

“This the mover?” an older woman asks, her short white hair falling back from her face as she straightens from a bit of a stoop. She moves to stand in the doorway, the tennis balls on the four feet of her cane keeping her steady as she looks you over. 

“No, but they might be taking that piano off our hands,” the woman replies, a bit of a warning in her tone.

The grandmother’s eyes sharpen as she stares at you. “Are they now?” She looks past you and spies it on the side of the road. Her eyes go a bit hard when they narrow back on the woman. “Did you just drop it on the side of the road?”

“Mike was careful when he put it out,” she retorts defensively. “And no matter what you think, no one’s gonna pay money for it. Even this guy’s asking questions, despite it being free—no offense.”

You smile, glad you have practice with acting like everything is fine while family members get passive-aggressive. “None taken.” You wish you hadn’t bothered to knock.

“Do you play?” the older woman asks while her daughter-in-law squints passed you at the sign taped to the piano, as if just noticing how long it is.

You shake your head. “No, but my kid’s been wanting to learn.”

She gives you a measuring look before nodding slowly. “It’s a good one for a beginner, given they’re polite.”

You frown, opening your mouth to ask what that means when the daughter-in-law cuts off whatever you were going to say with a muttered curse. Turning, she yells back into the house, “Emma! What did I say about messing with the sign on the piano!?”

“What?” a faint but defensive voice comes from deeper in the house. “Gotta warn the people!”

You can’t help but smirk at the joke. That sign makes a lot more sense if they made the teenager write it.

The daughter-in-law turns to point a finger at the now smirking grandmother. “This is your fault for encouraging her.” She turns back to you with a brittle smile, “Look, take or don’t. I’ve gotta finish packing this whole house and if you don’t want it, garbage will collect it Monday.” With that said, she walks off into the house.

You turn to the grandmother and raise an eyebrow. She raises one back. “You’re the one who stopped. I’ve had that piano for many years, my brother played it too. It’s been around since my parents’ got it. If you think you can spruce it up and have your child play it, please do. If not,” she shrugs, “I’m sure someone else will take it. A piano like that won’t end up in the trash.” 

Before you can reply, there’s an indistinct shout from inside and she sighs. “I better go help. Be a dear and shut the door. Have a good day.”

“You too,” you reply as you obligingly close their door and head back to the piano.

You walk around it, and even take a look under it—mostly looking for anything like big holes or something—before you just sort of stare at it. Are you really doing this? What makes you think you can do fix it up? That it won’t still be too much money. That by the time you fix it, Kit won’t have moved on to some other interest. Even optimistically, you can’t finish this by his birthday—it’ll have to be for the winter holidays in a few months.

Will it fit in your shed? Will you be able to move it around without breaking it? 

You shake your head, scowling as you try to banish all your second guessing. It’s free, it's right here. If you take it home and figure out after some research it’s too expensive or impossible for someone not a professional, you can throw it out yourself. 

No harm in doing that much, right?

Decision made, you hop into your truck bed, moving things around until you’ve got enough space for it. It’ll be good for you to have a project again, you think. Now that the house is more or less fixed up, you’ve been finding the evenings on the days you didn’t have Kit too empty. You always feel better when you’ve got something to occupy your mind as well as your hands.

The space made, you frown as you try to get a feel for its weight. Just as you’re trying to decide the best way to move it yourself, a man comes jogging out of the house. “Hey!” he says as he raises a hand in greeting. “My mom says you’re gonna help take this off our hands—least I can do is chip in to get it into your truck.”

“Thanks,” you reply as you reassess how to do this with another person to help, “that’d be great.” What did the woman say her husband’s name was? Mike? Regardless, he’s taller than you and seems fit enough so with two people…

“You mind if we do the piano first? We can always squeeze the bench in wherever,” you say, glancing at the other man to see if he wants to take over the job of moving it or if he’s willing to go along with you. Frequently, when you go to work on a project, the man of the house wants to show he knows what he’s doing, that he’s only hiring someone like you because he doesn’t have the time to bother. Those types never seem to have a clue and are more trouble than they're worth.

Luckily, Mike just smiles broadly, “Sure, makes sense to me. I swear I’ve moved more furniture in the last month—even though we’re not taking much with us—than I have in my whole life before this.”

“I bet, moving’s never easy,” you reply generically, correctly guessing that Mike doesn’t need much from you to continue talking about the move, where they’re going, and why. All you need to do is grunt every once in while to show your listening and he fills the silence, which honestly is your preference—you’ve never been much of a talker.

You pick up your side, noting the wood feels noticeably cold, odd given it's been sitting out all day in the sun, but it feels solid enough that you focus on that instead. You’re more than willing to listen as Mike helps you drape a tarp over it, secure it down with bungee cords, hold things out of the way while you get everything all settled. 

The only time he falters is when he gets a good look at the sign stuck to it. “What the…?” You see him mouth the word ‘haunted’ as he pales. Quickly, he reaches out and pulls the sign free, folding it up and then tossing it near the other trash they have out. “Kids,” he says vaguely when he sees you looking at him. “Always joking around.”

“Right,” you reply, not sure what else to say. You shrug and turn to check that it's not blocking too much of your rear mirror. Then you make sure everything else in the truck bed is secure before you gesture that Mike can jump down.

You follow, squinting in the sudden burst of wind that blows dust and dirt into your face. Once you blink your vision clear, you give the other man a nod. “Thanks for your help.”

“No problem,” Mike replies, hands in his pockets, staring up at the piano. “Sad to see it go, but it’s not like anyone was playing it here. Good luck.”

“Thanks,” you say and after a moment of silence, head around to go. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Mike replies.

As you drive away, you see him by the trash bins, breaking down the cardboard sign surprisingly thoroughly before stuffing it under the lid.

Your eyes flick to your new, free piano. Possibly haunted? You roll your eyes as you focus back on the road. Nah, the only scary thing is how much effort (and money) it's gonna take to get this thing up and running again. 

Well, you’ve got plenty of time for it at least.

[reccyls]

Villain's Festival 2024 (Team High Nobility) - Amusement by the nobility, for the nobility

My translation of the team story (William, Elbert, and Victor) for the 2024 election yes this is really really late, i forgot i owned this orz

---

The one to steal Kate's heart would be the winner of the special bonus from the Queen. As the competition begun, three elegant and refined members of Crown gathered together in the castle.

William: The battle for the bonus, was it? What an interesting idea.

Elbert: ....Ah.

William: Oh, Elbert. Rare to see you in the hallways.

Victor: Why, if it isn't William and Elbert! Victor: Lady Luck must have guided me down this path so I could meet the two of you. And so... Victor: How about we have some tea together?

...

William: The tea you brew is as delicious as ever, Victor.

Victor: I'm honored. Oh, and do try the scones as well.

(glass breaking)

Elbert: ....?

William: What is it, Elbert?

Elbert: ...I think I heard the sound of something breaking inside the castle.

William: That must be everyone else having quite a lively battle right now. All to capture Kate's heart.

(more glass breaking)

Elbert: Ah... That was a window on the second floor.

William: As long as they're having fun. William: Anyway, a broken window here or there is good for ventilation.

Victor: ...And the cost for repairs will be coming out of my own pocket money... Victor: Well, what matters is that everyone is enjoying themselves!

Elbert: ...Are you two fine with sitting out of the contest?

William & Victor: Of course not.

Elbert (surprised): ....

William: There is simply no reason to rush into things.

Elbert: Why not?

William: The contest lasts for the entire day. William: The winner is whoever has managed to steal Kate's heart pendant by the end of the day. William: At any rate, you certainly have no intention of giving Kate up either, do you? Elbert, the covetous queen.

Elbert: Not at all.

Victor: I completely agree with William. Victor: Although, perhaps one of the reasons we're all so laid back is because we're all rich.

William: Always so scathing, Victor.

Victor: You make it sound like I'm some kind of foul-mouthed scoundrel, Will! I'm just saying the truth, aren't I? Victor: You and Elbert both have your own properties and assets you manage. Victor: And I-- whoops, that's top secret.

Elbert: ...Are you also nobility, Victor?

William: Who knows? This man is so full of mysteries that we'd be here until the sun goes down before we even get close to unraveling them all.

Victor: A. Ny. Waaaaay... we'll all just steal Kate's heart at our leisure, and with utmost elegance, won't we? Victor: It's important to always keep noblesse oblige in mind.

William & Elbert: That's right / ...Yes.

Victor: So, how about another cup, William? Elb-

Kate's voice: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Victor: What a mess!* Was that Kate's voice just now? *This is actually what he says in-game

William: It was indeed our lovely little robin's cry.

Victor: Oh dear~! Let's go see what happened!

Elbert: It came from that direction. Elbert: If anything happened to her... I won't fogive who hurt her.

William: Heh, seems that the ennui has disappeared. William: Well then, let's go and take back our Kate.

...

William: Kate, we heard you calling.

Kate: William! And Victor and Lord Elbert too. Kate: Jude, Roger, and Alfons agreed to team up with each other. Kate: They caught me once but I managed to slip away, but I'm pretty sure they're still chasing me.

William: I see. Elbert, we leave Kate to you.

Elbert: Right... Kate, come here. Elbert: ...Don't leave my side for a second.

Kate: O-okay.

William: And now. Victor, how shall we serve those three up?

Victor: Do you even have to ask? Victor: Well done, of course.

...

Jude: Damn it, can't find that woman anywhere.

William: Hello, Jude. That's quite a lovely glare you're sporting today.

Jude: Tch. Of all the times for this annoying bastard to crop up...

William: And this annoying bastard would like to invite you to dinner. What's your answer?

...

Alfons: Was that Jude angrily cursing just now?

Roger: If you have the time to wonder about that, then just look for Ka- Roger: ...Wait, these footsteps...

Victor: How do you do, my lovely Cursed Ones?

Roger: ...Victor.

Alfons: Oh my, Lord Victor. You look like you're in high spirits today.

Victor: I can overlook the broken windows. My generosity is as boundless as the sea, after all. Victor: But, since you've bothered Kate... it's time for some punishment, no?

Alfons & Roger: ...Uh oh.

...

Kate: Thank you so much for saving me from that nonsense!

William: What matters most is that you're unharmed.

Victor: It's rare for William to go all out. Victor: We just narrowly avoided turning the corridors into a sea of blood. What a naughty boy ♪

William: Aren't you far more naughty than I am?

Victor: Oh, stop it. You'll make me blush with that kind of praise.

Kate: "A sea of blood"... Kate: Did I ask the wrong people for help?

Elbert: ...Don't worry about it. It's better that you don't know.

Kate: ...?

William: Kate has been safely retrieved. William: And the three of us worked together to ensure that. However... William: What should we do from here?

Elbert: ...What do you mean?

William: Our ultimate goal is to win Kate's heart and receive her necklace, isn't it? William: So that makes us all each others' rival.

Victor: You aren't wrong.

Elbert: ...I want it. The necklace... and Kate too.

William: It's passé to use brute force to win.

Victor: In that case, to make it fair, why doesn't Kate decide the winner?

Kate: Huh, me? Kate: I don't know if I could make a good judge...

William: I once read a fairytale from the Far East. William: The princess of the moon was being courted by several men, and so she issued them a quest. William: "Whoever finds this object and brings it to me shall become my husband."

Victor: What a wonderful idea! Victor: We'll look for whatever it is Kate wants, and whoever can bring it to her wins.

Elbert: ...Kate. What should we get for you?

Kate: Umm. In that case... Kate: Find something that will make me smile... I guess?

...

Elbert: ...Something to make her smile... Elbert: ...... Elbert: ....Oh.

(leaves room)

Elbert: ...Will? And Victor.

William: From the expression on your face, it looks like you have the same idea as the both of us.

Victor: Yes, it certainly does.

Elbert: ...Let's go see Kate.

...

William: Little robin, we have found what will make you smile.

Kate: "We"?

William: Would you lend me the heart necklace you're wearing for just a moment?

Kate: ...? Um, sure. Here you go, Will.

William: Though the necklace is in my hands now, the prize belongs to all of Crown.

Victor: We'll use the bonus money to throw a party for you and everyone else.

Kate: Really?

Elbert: ...Yes. Elbert: What will make you smile is... being able to have fun and spend time with everyone. Elbert: Isn't that right?

Kate: Yes! Exactly! Kate: Thank you, everyone.

William: .... William: Indeed, that is the most precious thing in the world, that no amount of money can buy.

[tcwmatchmakingau]

Commander Mayday illustration by @nika6q

A Match for Mayday: Chapter 3

Editor's note: This fic is a collaboration between @nika6q (artwork) and @dystopicjumpsuit (story)

Pairing: Mayday x Flower Farmer Reader 

Rating: M (18+ Minors DNI)

Wordcount: 2.4k

Warnings and tags: fluff; mild angst; sensuality; smut; fingering; it is not actually impossible for DJ to write a SFW story, but it does cause hives

A/N: dedicated to @nika6q ❤️‍🩹

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 4

“Gorgeous,” Sunni declares with a flourish as she steers you toward her mirror.

“I’m not sure why you’re going to this much effort on me when you’re supposed to be the center of attention,” you point out as you turn obediently.

“Because you deserve a little pampering, and you never have an excuse to get dressed up on Nakadia,” Sunni replies. “What do you think?”

You examine your reflection, taking in the artfully arranged hair, the perfect makeup, and the dress that displays a tasteful amount of skin while concealing all the things you prefer to keep to yourself.

“You’re a magician,” you reply frankly. “I can’t remember the last time I took so long to get ready.”

One of the bridesmaids, Tarsi, flops down on the bed and takes a sip of sparkling wine as she declares, “Nothing wrong with a little self-indulgence every now and then. Everything in moderation, including moderation, am I right, ladies?”

The other two bridesmaids chorus their agreement from the adjoining room, and you smile. Unsurprisingly, Sunni has a delightful group of friends, and they’ve made the week leading up to the wedding far more fun and  relaxed than you expected. Tarsi does have a bad habit of trying to talk you into signing up for RTL, though; she’s so proud of her success with Hexx and Sunni that she’s determined to find a match for every one of her friends.

“You’re beautiful, kind, successful, and you live on the most idyllic planet in the galaxy,” she declares. “Troopers will be lining up around the block to meet you. How do you feel about children?”

“I’ll pass,” you say firmly.

“On the children or the troopers?”

“Both,” you reply.

Tarsi pouts but lets it go. Meanwhile, the other two bridesmaids, Brax and Mione, burst into the room carrying a round of raava shots.

“Pregame!” Brax announces. “Everybody grab a shot.”

“Oh, no!” you laugh. “I’m the designated drunk-herder tonight. It is my responsibility to make sure you all make it onto the charter shuttle to Nakadia at the end of the night so this wedding can actually happen. I need to keep a clear head.”

“One shot isn’t going to do anything,” Sunni declares. “As bride, I hereby absolve you of all responsibility if I’m late to my own wedding. Now take the shot.”

You roll your eyes in good-humored exasperation, and you all toss back the raava, reactions ranging from Tarsi’s delicate cringe to Brax’s exaggerated sputter.

“Well, that was awful,” Sunni coughs. “Shall we get this party started?”

The group makes its way through several bars and dance clubs in Coruscant’s mid-levels, each successively louder and more crowded, before heading to a place that is apparently well-known to Sunni and her friends. As the five of you pile out of the air-taxi onto the landing platform, a gigantic sign reading 79’s bathes you all in a neon haze. There are an unusually high number of clones milling about outside the club, but Sunni and the others head straight for the entrance, throwing open the doors dramatically.

“Gentlemen, I have arrived!” Sunni announces with a confident swagger born partly of inebriation and partly of her own innate love of a spectacular entrance.

From inside the club, a cacophony of male voices lets out a deafening cheer interspersed with a few whistles and catcalls. Not for the first time of the night, you wish that you were getting as lit up as the rest of the group, because from the sound of things, you are about to head into exactly the kind of crowded, chaotic environment that seems perfectly designed to trigger your panic response. Right about now, you would kill for some liquid courage, but none is forthcoming, so you square your shoulders and walk into the club.

It’s crowded, smoky, and dark, and the music is loud enough to buzz across your skin and throb in your chest. It is also packed with clones, all of whom look absolutely delighted to see your group.

“What is this place?” you call to Tarsi over the roar of the crowd.

“Clone bar!” she yells back. “Isn’t it great?”

“Great,” you parrot back with false enthusiasm.

Unsurprisingly, the bartender has already poured a round of shots for your group by the time you reach the bar, courtesy of some unknown patron. You know you shouldn’t drink yours, but it’s been hours since you had the raava shot, and you have a feeling you’re going to need it if you’re going to make it out of 79’s without going ballistic, so you toss it back quickly. Within seconds, all five of you are pulled onto the dancefloor, and at least two clones begin to grind on each of you. There are so many people, and your heart starts to race as the crowd presses against you. The lights flash disorientingly. It’s hot and sweaty and loud, and your cheeks are starting to cramp from the overly bright smile you’re trying to keep in place. 

You look over to Sunni and are surprised to see her dancing with Hexx. Veetch is plastered against Tarsi, along with a clone you don’t recognize. You can’t see Brax or Mione, because there are three farking clones grinding their dicks against you, and if you have to put up with this for another minute you are going to kriffing lose your shit!

Abruptly, a hand closes around your wrist and pulls you gently but firmly away from the sausage fest. A little space opens up around you, and you finally feel like you can breathe again. You turn to thank your rescuer, and your heart gives a hard, involuntary lurch when you recognize Mayday’s long, dark curls. He asks a question that you can’t hear over the music. You shake your head and point to your ears. He nods in understanding, and his eyes are so damned kind that you want to weep with relief.

Another strange clone starts to move toward you, but Mayday fixes him with a stare that has him putting up his hands and backing away. You don’t want to leave the dancefloor and abandon Sunni and the others, but you’re not sure how you’re going to be able to stay, either. Mayday moves closer and rests his hands on your hips. You glance up at him, startled. He gives you a reassuring smile and starts to move your body to the rhythm of the music.

“I thought you didn’t dance!” you try to say over the music, but he shakes his head to indicate he can’t hear you, either. 

Instead, he pulls you closer to himself and oh, Maker. He does dance. He’s a really kriffing good dancer. He moves with a sinuous grace that has your mind racing with the possibilities of what else he can do with moves like that. And while his hands stay well within respectful boundaries, they leave a trail of blazing heat as they move across your body. 

You war with yourself. Mayday has you dizzy and off-balance. One moment he’s looking at you like you’re the only person in the galaxy, and the next he’s telling you not to touch him. But now he’s caressing your waist and hips like he never wants to stop, and he’s shielding you with his body, and he’s keeping you safe in the midst of the crowd. It’s a heady experience, to be at the center of that intense focus. Eventually, you stop thinking and simply let go and exist in the moment.

You lose track of time, of place, of people—it all fades into the background, and all you can see is Mayday. The way he touches you, moves you, guides you through the dance. He turns you so your back is to him, and you lean against his strong body, your hips swaying against his. You raise one hand over your shoulder to tangle in his hair, and you feel the heat of his breath against your wrist. His fingers trail over your arm, lighting up the nerves and sending tingles racing through you. And then his mouth descends onto your bare shoulder, his beard teasing your sensitive skin as he works his way up the side of your neck. Your knees nearly buckle at the sensation, but somehow you hold onto both your balance and your dignity.

You are shocked when the bartender announces the last call. How has the time passed so quickly? You’ve been so wrapped up in Mayday that you didn’t even notice as the crowd began to thin, and now it is time to round up the rest of the wedding party and head to the spaceport, where the luxurious private shuttle Sunni has chartered awaited your arrival. You and Mayday are the only reasonably sober members of the group, and so you coordinate with him to hustle everyone into two air taxis.

It’s a loud and raucous trip to the spaceport, but eventually, you bundle Sunni and the others onto the shuttle and perform one last headcount before Mayday signals the pilot to depart. It takes a significant amount of time and effort, but eventually, everyone aboard makes it to their assigned quarters, and you retreat to the shuttle’s opulent lounge to decompress and have a well-deserved drink. 

You stop short when you enter the room and find Mayday already inside. You flirt with the idea of fleeing, of going straight to your quarters and trying to get some sleep on the long jump to Nakadia, but it’s too late. He’s already spotted you, and you can’t avoid him without being openly rude. 

“I’d forgotten how exhausting it is to wrangle drunk people,” you say as you enter the room. 

“Mmm,” Mayday agrees with a rumble. “Makes fighting the war look easy.”

“No, it doesn’t,” you reply.

He smiles. “You’re right. Want a glass?”

“I think we’ve earned it,” you reply, settling into an armchair as he pours two tumblers of liquor out of a mysterious decanter.

The tawny liquid catches the light as he hands you a glass, reminding you of his eyes. You sniff it curiously and are greeted with a sweet, smoky aroma.

“I knew you were a whiskey man,” you say as you clink your glass quietly against his and take a sip. 

“I don’t usually turn down a free drink,” Mayday replies. “That doesn’t mean I don’t know the good stuff when I see it.”

You regard him steadily before you ask, “Is that so?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, his eyes guarded.

“I can’t figure you out, Mayday,” you say. 

At least he doesn’t insult you by pretending to misunderstand. He watches you for a moment, and when you don’t flinch under his scrutiny, he takes another drink of his whiskey.

“I told you I don’t play games,” he says.

“You could have fooled me,” you retort.

“You’re with someone else,” he says in a low voice. He sets his jaw firmly, but his eyes flicker over your body, and for an instant, you see a flash of naked hunger in them. “I’m not going to chase after someone who’s unavailable.”

What the kark? Your eyebrows snap together. “Is that why you couldn’t keep your hands off me tonight? Why every time we’re in the same room, you look at me like—like that?”

“Why the kriff do you think I was avoiding you?” he growls. “When I’m with you, I can’t think straight. I am trying to respect your relationship, but fuck, you drive me wild.”

You let out a short, angry laugh and drain your glass. “You think I would dance with you like that when I was with someone else? I didn’t realize you had such a poor opinion of me.”

“You said you were taken. You—” he pauses as though the words choke him with their bitterness. “You planned your wedding.”

“That was hypothetical!” You set your glass down with a snap as you rise abruptly. “I’m going to bed. Alone. Like I do every night. Which you should have realized when you spent a week in my house.”

“We’re not finished,” Mayday says, rising to block your exit.

“There’s nothing else to say,” you snap.

“What the kark did you expect me to do?” he demands. “I met the girl of my dreams, and two seconds later she told me she wasn’t interested.”

“I said I wasn’t interested in RTL!” you exclaim. “A matchmaker sounds like my worst nightmare. Although at least it would have prevented this level of absolute banthashit.” 

“Then—” he begins.

“For kark’s sake, how much clearer can I possibly be?” you cut him off. “Do I need to hang up a neon sign that says OPEN FOR BUSINESS? Do you want me to send you a handwritten letter? ‘Dear Mayday, please tear off all my clothes and have your way with me on the nearest available surf—mmph!’”

Mayday’s mouth cuts off your tirade. His lips crash against yours, his tongue sweeps into your mouth, his hands pull you close against him. He tastes like whiskey, and he smells like woodsmoke and spices, overwhelming your senses. You clutch his shoulders for balance, and then immediately slide your hands up his neck to twine your fingers through his hair. You tug on it gently, and he groans into your mouth in response. His arms tighten around you, pinning you to him as he grips your ass and grinds his hips against you. You let out a strangled moan as you feel the hardness of his cock press against your abdomen.

“This karking dress,” he rasps, breaking away from your kiss for a moment as his fingers find your hemline and snake up the inside of your bare thigh. “Did you wear it just to torture me?”

You open your mouth to respond, but he preempts your response with another breathtaking kiss. He slips past the lace of your panties—thank the Force I wore pretty ones—and glides his fingertips over your heated skin. His hands are as clever and talented as you knew they would be, and a fresh wave of irritation hits you. You tug his hair lightly as you pull away from his kiss.

“I’m still mad at you!” you exclaim. “We could have been doing this for weeks, oooh—”

He slides one of those thick, skilled fingers into you as he drops his mouth to your throat.

“I’m planning on doing it a lot longer than that, mesh’la.”

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 24 thoughts

here we are. the s3 finale. i am so excited!!! and after such a fantastic last episode, my expectations are high. also, having now seen 3 season finales, i have the sneaking suspicion that this one will also be a cliffhanger, which will get on my nerves a bit i’m sure as i get all my s3 stuff around before beginning s4, but again i extend my retroactive sympathies to the people who had to wait like a year to actually see what happened next back when it was airing. 

(author's note: since this one involved a lot of shape shifting, writing a play-by-play description of what was going on was quite tricky. just know i did my best and hopefully that is what matters <3)

this episode description makes it sounds like i’m gonna cry from some mulder family angst. i am preparing myself mentally. 

we shall begin.

we open at a food court sort of situation, which makes me once again mourn the fact that i missed the golden age of malls, as i would have devoured that. oh, it actually seems to just be a restaurant. well, my own wishful thinking, i suppose.

this man is very upset and making others uncomfortable with his loud yelling slash crying. so he pulls out a gun which makes people even more uncomfortable. he says the kids can leave but everyone else has to stay which seems like it will make things much worse for those kids?? but i digress.

a second man emerges from the back, asking the fellow with the gun to please not shoot. this second man is in a suit and tie, and has a very calming presence. to me, he shall be calming man. calming man talks him out of shooting, and i’m thinking yes!! what a save!!!

... until the gunman sees the police arrive, and then he DOES start shooting into the crowed. this is so sad to see happening. shooter has a bullet wound to the chest from the snipers outside sent to stop him, but calming man says he is not going to die, and heals him by placing his hand on him????

WOAH….. calming man….. you have powers…… get him in a hospital STAT, we need him to lay hands on a LOT of people... like a priest with a 100% success rate

mulder and scully are rolling up to the scene. scully is baffled because there is no one that needs medical attention, despite hearing that a bunch of people got shot!!

so she talks to one of the guys that was shot, and he only has a little hole in his shirt, which she simply lifts up and looks under. and i was laughing because she was in Doctor Mode but it is lowkey weird as hell to just lift some dude’s shirt up and analyze his tummy LMAO. oh she is so endearing to me. this man explains that even though he was shot, calming man touched him and said everything would be okay, and it was! that's suspicious. that's weird.

mulder is peeking his head into the car where the shooter is being held (typical mulder activities, peeking his head into places and whatnot) then he gets right in there with him. the shooter’s name is mr. muntz, and mulder wants to know what happened. mulder has some messy hair going on, but he is speaking very calmly and professionally... that oxford psych degree is showing!

mr. muntz says god spared his life, assuming that calming man must have been sent by god OR is god himself. which i suppose is a logical conclusion to draw.

somehow, calming man just DISAPPEARED from the scene. which is not what you want a guy to do in such a situation!!! unless, perhaps, he has fled to do some more miracle working, in which case i hope he teleports far and wide.

cutscene to rhode island. this lady is approaching a house, which is filled with plastic covering all of the furniture.

(author's note: i literally had no idea that "this lady" was mrs. mulder. and honestly given how much attention i pay to all the details- from the exact episode mulder mentioned jimi hendrix that one time to knowing scully did her residency in forensic medicine- i have no excuse for this. it is deeply humbling to realize the limits of my memory, which so often i think is close to fool-proof. i apologize to mrs. mulder but i, for some reason, thought she had brown hair. please accept my heartfelt apology, mrs. mulder. i have only seen you briefly before, which is a reason, but not an excuse for such a careless mistake)

she walks in, and sees a door is open to the outside. so she (author's note: mrs. mulder) follows along, and who does she see but CANCER MAN??? he remarks that everything changes but the sea. well the sea is constantly changing so take that, cancer man.

this woman (MRS. MULDER, god i'm cringing at my past self) wants to know what exactly he wants from her, and he says “we used to have so much to say to each other” ???? “SO MANY GOOD TIMES AT THE MULDERS’ SUMMER PLACE” HUH???

he makes a jab about how bill wasn’t as good at water skiing as he was, but that could be said about so many thing, couldn’t it? and WHERE DOES THIS DUDE GET OFF? 

(this is funny because cancer man lowkey sucks at his job and i won't let him forget that. like at the big UN council meeting everyone was pissed at him for losing the tape and trying to kill skinner and being generally just Fucking Bad at his work, so for him to say all this is quite comical)

the woman says she has repressed it all and i don’t blame her because i would also want to repress any moments with this man, but he says he came her to make her remember something. they’re fighting as a camera takes pictures. WHO IS TAKING PICTURES OF THIS?

okay, back to the virginia crime scene with our agents. calming man has given his name as “jeremiah smith”, but left a fake P.O. box and has no driver’s license. suspicious!!!!

mulder gets a call from skinner- one that “might cause him some alarm”. it’s his mother!!! she has been admitted to the hospital in rhode island, in serious condition!!! skinner stumbles on the pronunciation of the town she's in, but clearly it means something to mulder, because he knows where she is!! he says he is on his way

next thing we see is him bursting in into the room, with scully waiting behind him. something so lovely about scully coming along to be with him at such a terrible moment.

OMG IT’S HIS MOM….. why did i forget what his mom looked like?? am i actually the worst at this?? (<- the moment i Realized)

he grabs her hand and puts his hand on her forehead (i’m going to cry) and scully comes in and explains that she had a stroke. he notices that she is cold and puts another blanket over her (oh my gosh... such an attentive and caring son) and scully tries to reassure him not to think the worst, that people recover from these situations all of the time. i paused to write this down and he has this big sad eyes and i’m gonna CRY. he’s touching her hair and whispering “mom” and AUGHHHH. his only remaining family member...

apparently a 911 call came in… i guess that it was probably cancer man who called. and who probably did this somehow.

OH! she opens her eyes! he smiles at her and tells her everything is going to be okay. ohhh, sweet man...

scully realizes mrs. mulder wants something to write on, and busts out a pen and paper because she is always prepared!!!! and i love that about her!!!

so mrs. mulder writes on the paper “PALM”, which he looks at and repeats, but it’s not clear if he gets what that means or not. here i am thinking that it means some sort of treasure will be hidden beneath a palm tree

he’s watching her being taken away to another hospital as scully looks at some paperwork to figure out what exactly happened to her. and she uses her doctoral skills to tell him that they are optimistic on her recovery. it’s so sweet 😭😭😭 she does everything she can to ease his worries. i love her!!!!!!

but mulder thinks there is a correlation between what went down at the shooting in virginia and here- because she wrote the word “palm”, which is what calming man used to heal the victims of the gunman. and that seems like a stretch to me and to scully, but a grieving mind works in intricate ways, and we already know that mulder has the most intricate of minds, so maybe he's onto something.

he senses that it’s a bit of a leap, and she tries to very gently explain that it might not mean anything, that her brain has been radically changed. she says she is gonna drive him to the nearest motel (😭😭😭) and he says no, we’re going to DC and finding out who this calming man "jeremiah smith" is. omg buddy let her book you a motel and get some rest... but no, for he has entered his bloodhound mode, and there is no stopping him in such a situation

so now it’s 8:25 am the next day, and they are watching some tapes from the news footage while she sits on his desk. and sure enough, they find the guy on the newsreel- calming man jeremiah smith- and they even see that he vanished! it seems like someone else took his place, wearing the same clothes??? now how would that work….

mulder decides he must leave, and where to? “if i told you, you’d never let me go” <- okay well at least he’s sort of honest? scully reminds him he hasn’t slept in 24 hours, but he goes on anyway, telling her to give him a call if she finds anything on the tapes. a sigh from scully as she wonders what the hell he is up to.

now we’re at the social security administration, which is frankly pretty dystopian- so very aggressively white, with spaced out desks, giving extreme retro futurism in that special 90's kind of way. but here is the calming man at a desk, as tons of people in suits and with microphones come in! calming man jeremiah smith walks out the back door and is snagged… under the watchful eye of CANCER MAN??????

seriously, what does this dude even DO beyond be mysterious and nosy?!!!

so they put calming man jeremiah smith in a full body restraint and bring him into some sort of jail cell???? i just KNOW he was not read his rights, too...

mulder, meanwhile, has driven all the way BACK to rhode island, to the house covered in plastic. it is very quiet and dark. he makes his way outside, where we see someone watching him. it’s X!!!!!

X opens the door and tells mulder that cancer man was HERE WITH HER. IT WAS ON HIS ORDERS THE PHOTOS OF THEM FIGHTING WERE TAKEN!!! or maybe it was him hiding in the bushes snapping the pics?? that option is funnier to imagine, so i shall.

X is shocked that mulder didn’t know his mother and cancer man knew each other, but he very seriously says that he has no idea. and X clarifies that he didn’t hurt her, she collapsed AFTER he left- it was X that made the phone call to 911!

ah, that makes more sense than cancer man doing the calling, as i had suspected. although, clearly cancer man WANTS something from her, so maybe he would want to save her life. but then i had assumed he was the one who somehow made her have a stroke- but if he wanted something from her, nearly killing her would make that hard, right? unless he just comes close enough in killing her to scare her... hmm, i'm theorizing, and it feels like some sort of sick chess game.

OH! it seems cancer man wants something in this house. and mulder is surprised because on the day his parents divorced, she promised to never set foot here again. in the "SUMMER HOUSE"- yes, that was the wording he used. bro... how much money were they paying his dad to mess with aliens for them to live in martha’s vineyard AND have a summer house? 😭😭 that was blood money they were paying him fr and it must have been a hell of a paycheck. i have student loans, maybe i should get into the alien secrets business.

so whatever is here has to be important. but mulder tells X he has no idea what it is. xXseems to be hiding something, but maybe that is just his face.

back at the FBI, scully is heading out- or possibly heading back into work? as she does this, “jeremiah smith” arrives! she is very taken aback but jumps into work immediately. he says he is here to turn himself in, because it was claimed he fled a crime scene.

SO WAS THAT NOT HIM IN THE FULL BODY RESTRAINT?? or are we dealing with teleportation here? i mean we have healing already, teleportation isn’t much of a jump i suppose. 

(i was so damn confused lol)

now we are with calming man jeremiah smith in skinner’s office, where he claims that everything seemed like a dream from the moment he told the man to put his gun down forward. he claims he doesn’t remember anything, not even giving a false address. he only remembers showing up for work the next day. so... was his body like possessed or something?

he’s like “what did i do wrong :(“ and scully says he didn’t do anything wrong!!!!! skinner says that he can go, but to let them know if he leaves town. she shrugs her shoulders at skinner, not knowing what happened. scully is so kind...

back to rhode island, where mulder has a flashlight. the house is covered with children’s artwork and whimsical chickens. he’s looking through all of the stuff for anything of interest. it’s a fascinating walk through of how they must have lived, with her sewing kits tucked in drawers and toys in boxes. something about seeing their childhood makes my heart want to melt. poor kids, they had no idea what was to come...

he’s getting angry at not finding anything of use, tossing things around, before sitting on the now non-plastic covered couch, when he pulls her note out- and realizes that “palm” is an anagram for “lamp”! is this a clue??? must we inspect the lamps??? of which there are many???

yes, we must. he’s throwing this first one into the wall like link when he sees a pot that might have a rupee in it. but it doesn’t seem to have anything useful in the first one, so it becomes a lamp tossing session. and in the second one, he finds a metal tube thing!!! 

when he presses the side of the metal tube thing, a giant needle emerges!! is this one of those needles they used in s2 to vanquish the nearly indestructible aliens?? are there more in any other lamps??

now cancer man is back in the jail cell with the dude he took hostage that i thought was calming man jeremiah smith. well, whoever it is, he has jeremiah smith’s face. cancer man very dramatically sits in front of him and lights up. jeremiah says he isn’t ashamed of his actions, but cancer man says he isn’t “allowed to put your indulgences ahead of the greater purpose”. OH! so this must be a real life alien. that takes people’s shapes? i suppose?

YES! like that hit man did in the s2 arc that wound up with mulder nearly dead after the battle of that strange submarine!! whose blood induced the virus that led him to be soaked in an ice bath! i’m recalling!!

so, calming man jeremiah smith says he no longer believes in the "greater purpose", to which cancer man replies “then your fate is just”.

now hold on. what are you going to do to this man? there might be some intergalactic diplomatic repercussions for acting unwisely here, bucko.

they’re having a poetry off as they talk about duty and the terror of jeremiah smith giving the people hope. cancer man says men can never be free because they are “weak, corrupt, worthless, and restless”, some of my favorite adjectives . so he sees himself as this authority figure adjacent to god in this world in which man no longer believes.

well he's wrong on many accounts for 1. he is not god, just a guy who lowkey sucks at his alien job, and 2. scully is very much a believer of god and science, so take your stupid dichotomies and ego and smoke on THAT, cancer man

oh, but the tables are turning. “how many must die at your hand to preserve your stake in the project?” ooooh read him, calming man jeremiah smith!!! get him for me and again for missy.

cancer man seems deeply unsettled and tries to get out because calming man jeremiah smith is no longer calming man… HE HAS A NEW FACE?? IS THAT DEEP THROAT! he seems deeply scared… was cancer man scared of deep throat??? what was their power dynamic?!? oh, the things we will likely never know...

i have missed seeing deep throat around. but cancer man basically says that this alien’s execution date is coming. damn. they kill you for saving others. we really live in a society...

back to mulder, who is barging into skinner’s office. he tells his secretary to hold his calls, and it is appearing evident that he has not slept in a long time. he walks right into a meeting between skinner and scully, and says he wants his name and everything about "him"! which "him", you ask? you know the one!

“i want the smoking man smoked out; i want him exposed to be the murdering son of a bitch that he is” he says, and YAAAAS i have been wanting to say these lines for 3 seasons now!!!

skinner is not pleased with this, and reveals that he doesn’t even KNOW his name, nor how he can find it, and they are yelllling. mulder says to scully that cancer man is trying to kill calming man jeremiah smith, but she says that he had JUST been there, and he works for the social security administration, which sets mulder off on another quest. in which she joins!!

(skinner says something really interesting here- that there might have been a time when he could have been able to find out cancer man's identity, but that time has since passed. very interesting, i'd love to know what that means...)

off to the faraway and magical land of the social security administration, where mulder apprehends jeremiah smith. he looks to scully asking what is going on, and she also has no answers. 

so they get to the FBI and he starts to bolt!!! he falls down and comes up… with a new face?!! and then he disappears into the crowd!!! 

SO WHAT IS GOING ON??? are there TWO ALIENS?? are they TELEPORTING?? are they shapeshifting?? HUH??

cancer man goes back to the individual i shall now refer to as the “jail cell alien” because he no longer bears the face of calming man. damn, this is really confusing to write out, and very much tied to visual media as a storytelling vessel. i hope that you are familiar with what i’m talking about so you have any idea what i’m even saying, because i realize it sounds deeply incomprehensible.

alien asks why cancer man is so afraid of him, and claims that he knows everything about him. OH! “you think you’re god- you’re a drone, a cataloguer, chattel”, says cancer man, to which he is met with the reply “what you’re afraid of is they’ll believe i am god”

HEY WHAT! so what exactly is this dude’s job description?? like, either of them.

they’re talking about god and belief and fear and rule- “they don’t believe in Him, but they still fear Him” <- ooooh banger line on part of the cancer man.

(it seems that there is probably some very intentional real-world commentary on the illusion of freedom under democracy, the nature of the surveillance state, and how people are satiated under capitalism with all this talk to appeasement and there not being a god, but i’m not trying to crack that right now. i’m trying to figure out what this alien dude does beyond heal people and be cryptic. he says that humans have love, which makes them “better than us- better than you” SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? can he feel no love?)

they’re referring to some sort of process, and how cancer man wants to be involved when it begins, which i’m guessing is referring to some sort of alien-human joint conquest or hybridization or something?

GASP! alien changes his face again and proclaims that cancer man is… DYING OF LUNG CANCER!

fork spotted in kitchen. however, cancer man is sincerely gagged and doesn’t believe it. the absolute buffoonery going on…

now the alien from before that had escaped from the clutches of our agents has shape shifter again?? into the hit man we saw in s2! with the special alien killing needle!

so my memory is foggy… these aliens that the hit men are hunting are dissenters from the overall alien regime, right? they’re not different species of alien entirely? 

but then what/who are the little grey ones…. are we witnessing intergalactic warfare here…?

(i gotta be so honest, i come here for the lingering tension between mulder and scully, so i’m a little fuzzy on how the actual alien stuff works)

anyway, the cronies of cancer man are bringing the hit man and his lethal needle into the cell where they’re holding the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, but… he isn’t in there!!!!! where did he go!!?!

so we have two aliens, both shapeshifters, taking the same face at times, one trying to kill the other. also cancer man is here and mulder’s mom is in the hospital, and for some reason she had one of those needles in her house. okay, i’ve got it.

back to the hospital- his mom isn’t getting better, and he is struggling to hear that, pulling a chair next to her while his eyes fill with tears. he’s crying as he holds her hand to his cheek. poor mulder :( losing all of his family :( it’s so sad honestly to see him cry :(

he leaves the room, attempts to compose himself, and sees cancer man in the hall!!!! uh oh! so mulder GRABS him, throws him against the wall, and pulls out his gun, saying “you gonna smoke that, or you want to smoke on this?” <- WHEW!!!!!!! he was not playing around before but now he is a NEW level of locked in… but careful… if you kill him, what he knows goes with him….

he even offers to give him brain damage but not kill him, so he can suffer like his mother does (DAMN!), which prompts the reveal that cancer man has known his mother since before he was born. he thinks about this and decides that he does NOT give a fuck.

he claims that SHE contacted HIM, (which isn’t what happened because we SAW what happened at the start of the episode?? he wanted her to remember something??) and also that he has possible information on his sister’s location. how many people are going to use this line on our guy...?

mulder puts the gun down as a nurse walks in, pivoting to asking where his sister is- but the man who might have that information has disappeared, according to cancer man. so he must be referring to the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith.

mulder keeps saying that he has what he wants, presumably referring to the lethal needles, but cancer man denies wanting anything except to see how his mother is doing. he furiously puts his gun away. 

back to scully cam!!! it’s late at night, but she is still at work, and she has her glasses on because she’s on the computer <3 she seems… puzzled. for the social security administration has records on SIX different jeremiah smiths, all from different locations, but with the SAME FACE!!! this is weird enough to prompt a call to mulder, who has no service, but is very angry in an empty parking lot. 

X emerges into the parking lot- he is always emerging from places- and asks if he has “it”. he demands mulder give it to him, but he refuses. 

mulder (correctly) points out that it is a weapon used to pierce the back of an alien's neck, which is the only way we can kill “them”. and X says it’s value will soar when the truth is revealed, so i’m wondering if we can get a rough time frame on when that will be so i can get my things in order before then. X says they will kill him for it, even if it risks making him a martyr and his research coming to light. oh, they must want it really bad... maybe it's a special kind of needle you just can't get on earth.

mulder says to X, so you’re talking about colonization, and you have a date, don’t you? but he refuses to give the weapon over. prompting a battle! they seem pretty evenly matched, and they both pull their guns out. 

“if you shoot me, you’ll never find it” “i ought to shoot you anyway, after everything i’ve given you” says X, and WELL! X, you didn’t really do all that distribution of clues to mulder out of the goodness of your heart, did you… you’re leading him on a little quest on cancer man’s order’s, aren’t you???? I THINK YOU ARE!! but i don’t KNOW, because why then would he SNITCH on cancer man with those photos??!!!!

(not super clear on why exactly mulder wants to keep this thing other than keeping it out of the hands of evil, but maybe that is enough of a reason for him)

so they both have guns pointed at each other, and they’re limping away, and X announces that mulder is a dead man one way or the other. ????!!!!! i do not want him to be a dead man...

scully comes home to her place at 1 am… but someone is at the door. someone claiming to be jeremiah smith!!!! chat... do we believe it? and how did he even find where she lives...

he asks to be let in… and she is gonna let him in…? with only 3 minutes left in the episode….?! seems a risky move!

he says he has information on her partner and his sister. and scully says, well why didn’t you bring that up before!!! a very valid question! but get this- it's because he’s never SPOKEN to her before- that other man was an imposter, sent there to kill him!!!

OOOOH okay. so now the dual shape shifting aliens thing makes sense. one sent to hunt the other for breaking the rules... got it.

her phone is ringing as this goes down. it’s mulder, saying that “they” are looking for jeremiah smith, and to meet up off the I-95. so it’s very dark and creepy as they go to the rendez vous point.

mulder makes scully get behind him, getting between her and the alien formerly known as jeremiah smith (🩷) as he pulls out the alien killing needle. and this guy claims to be the OG calming man that healed those people, but that’s not really enough evidence for a guy like mulder. despite mulder's suspicious, the alien keeps saying he can explain everything. but first, mulder orders that he must come to see his mother.

OMG! so he wants to use the alien's powers to heal his mother! do you think it could work? i mean, a stroke and a bullet are different kinds of hurt... but maybe he could pull it off?

OH NO!!! who rolls up to this dark and creepy scene, but the hit man!!! a loud crescendo of music is playing and we get a TO BE CONTINUED

DAMN YOU, CHRIS CARTER!

i mean, i knew a cliffhanger ending was coming, but STILL.

okay, so what am i thinking about this episode… i am thinking that i don’t really know what is going on or where the loyalties lie. but it seems that alien colonization is eminent? and where does X fall on all of this? i assume he wanted the needle killer tool so HE could kill the REAL alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, like cancer man wanted, for rebelling against their alien treaty and healing someone. but if that is what he wanted it for, and he is aligned with cancer man, why did he go behind his back to do the snooping on him with mulder’s mom?? was he trying to get mulder as an ally to do cancer man’s bidding through sneaky tricks??? or was he going to keep the needle out of cancer man's hands, and felt he could do it better than mulder could, so that by asking him to give up the needle, he would be saving mulder's life and risking his own? does he actually give a damn about mulder? also, how many different kinds of aliens are there??? and are they all lying about samantha?

so huh. umm. that was a lot of questions and not a lot of answers.

as interesting as this episode was plot-wise, and as much as i love angst, and how it pains me to see mulder mourn the potential loss of his mother, something in this episode just didn’t quite compel me. and then i realized: not enough scully. a criminal mistake, imo. takes what could be an amazing episode into an inherently mediocre one. 

but, what we did see of her was her kindness, using her doctorly knowledge to try and lift mulder’s spirits, risking a lot of danger to try and get the answers for him, even if it means getting involved with alien bullshit. maybe she thinks it’ll bring her answers about her sister and her own abduction… yes, that has to be it. still, a grave sin to omit her. it just feels fundamentally Off.

so, that was the end of s3! well, as i have done twice before now, i’ll make my season wrap up posts before i get onto s4- even if it does end with a cliffhanger that is honestly SO rude. i’ll have to go over all my notes again to find the best moments and compile them, which is always a task (even if it is a major treat). and i have a feeling there will be a LOT of favorite moments this time around. plus i'll update the masterpost.

thank you to everyone who read this far, and reads this blog at all. i can't believe i am on season 4! it really makes my day to see people's reactions to the episode, learn fun facts, and experience the community in this fandom that i am otherwise denied by my persistence in avoiding spoilers. please feel free to go back and interact with old posts, too- it makes me so happy when i get notifications from that.

until next time, you agents in a dangerous back alley with some skirmishing aliens!

[fateinthestars]

Man, has it really been two months since I did any Character Review/Rambling posts for a specific story/story set?

Well, let's rectify that now!

I could go back to the poll I did, but I'm really surprised to find that I don't appear to have covered the Divine Trip for Two sets yet. They should probably have been an option on the poll!

So let's cover those today. A Divine Trip for Two: Wishes and A Divine Trip for Two: Punishments

The Wishes set contains stories for: Leon, Teorus, Huedhaut, Karno

The Punishments set contains stories for: Scorpio, Dui, Ichthys, Zyglavis

Spoilers under cut

Before we get to the two separate sets, let's briefly cover the prologue which is the same for both.

I don't know what is more amusing here, the king getting them to summon MC who is in her night clothes, the god's reaction to that, or how Partheno and Tauxolouve manage to get themselves (along with Krioff and Aigonorus) out of doing anything for this latest game of the king's. 😂

Hue's 'Well done, you certainly got out of this quickly.' to Tauxolouve - I can't quite make up my mind whether he's irritated at Lou for managing to excuse himself or begrudgingly impressed.

That said: Much as I'm grinning at that exchange, I probably would have preferred for them to make it 12 items rather than 8 and then everyone could have had a story. But it feels like there are very few sets that have all of them - at least this is a four from each side one rather than three.

And yes this is absolutely a game of the king's - not an emergency at all. And Hue seems rather distressed that His Highness has been listening to MC's thoughts again. Just how often does this actually happen??? (Quite a lot knowing the king, but poor Hue).

Oh goodness and then there's how the king gets the others to agree to this... but I'll leave that as a surprise. 😆

Right, before I get way too spoilery about even just the prologue, let's get into the stories themselves shall we?

A DIVINE TRIP FOR TWO: WISHES

Leon: A Treasure Hunt in Singapore

Pfft, Leon always seems like he finds his job a massive chore and yet in other stories it's clear that Karno thinks that Leon makes a better Chief Minister than he ever would have. I'm not sure whether that's Karno's admiration for Leon speaking or his self-doubt pushing him down, or both - but it's interesting how here Leon takes the wishes list with him to do that work as well: He says to MC he's dealing with two 'nusiances' at once, but I'm sure some of the others would have seen it as a chance to avoid work entirely for a bit. That said: granting wishes isn't paperwork. No doubt that's the kind of work he is still ignoring. xD

Also here we have Leon's reaction to the lion head/fish tail statue that is also in one of Ichthys' stories: Leon is totally not amused no matter which option you pick. Ichthys was just completely confused.

What I vaguely recalled of this one was that it seemed somewhat blander than the others in these two sets, but I think that may be more just because these two sets are so strong.

Whilst Leon is still putting the front of not caring about the notion of other people's love it's actually clear from how this goes that he's grown beyond that, and just like one of his Christmas stories I'm still not buying that he's really doing it only for MC's benefit. The fact it makes her happy might be motivation as to why he bothers, but he clearly wanted to make sure this love wish was granted - even if it was, as he said, a lot of effort to go to for a single wish.

I'm 100% sure the king knew exactly what he was doing when he gave Leon this one. This almost feels like it was a further test to make sure the Chief Minister of Wishes really did understand love now.

Teorus: A Treasure Hunt in Germany

Okay I'm sure several of you are already looking worriedly at me so let me allay your fears straight off: This is my second favourite Teorus story. The only Teorus story I rate higher than this is his 'Secret Blessings from the Gods' story.

This story doesn't focus on his jealousy, or his obliviousness at other women crowding him, or his somewhat immature reactions he can have at times. What this story does focus on is his dislike of children. But here it's done equally - in his '12 Loves Light up a Holy Night' story it felt more like his reaction was purely because the children MC was talking to were male and it also bought out his overzealous over-possessiveness that I absolutely hate, whereas here? Here we have a young brother and sister, making a noise at the place MC and Teorus are sightseeing and initially that puts them off.

But then the reason for said children being there is revealed, and both Teorus and MC willingly help them.

And you know... I've just realised something. The kids in this story were trying to do something nice for their mother...

Teo doesn't know his and his father is an ass and oh, now I think I see more why even MC thought he was acting more mature in this one. OUCH. 😭

The ending of this one is just so sweet, and Teo grows a lot here.

Huedhaut: A Treasure Hunt in France

Oh Hue, you just had to leap straight to the teasing didn't you? 😆 But at the same time he's always really sweet. If you get MC to get him to decide what she should wear what he does is give her exactly what kind of thing she was wishing for (the same applies for if you ask for one of the two other options but then MC has said out loud what she's thinking). Other clothing scenes we have in the series always seem more to either be what the god wants or what the god thinks will wind another god up.

What's also interesting here is Hue's remark about this quest not being his usual style - I guess normally he'd make sure he had far more information than the king was willing to divulge here. (A painting of a lady in France indeed, your highness. Sheesh).

I adore Hue and MC's back and forth in this one. MC trying her hardest to outmatch Hue but as per usual it's not really working, but they just seem so perfectly in sync here.

THAT SAID: Hue, look, not everyone is as intelligent as you. I know you admitted afterwards that you were rather nervous due to sensing what you did, but even if you were uncertain about what was going on, don't you think it would have been a good idea to tell MC what was on your mind? What your theory was? Then maybe she wouldn't have even briefly thought that something was affecting you. (Mind you, I'm being hypocritical here, I probably would have acted the same as Hue did... 😅 )

This one is fun, loving, and heart-warming. Pretty much all the option responses here are great too. (Although one seems somewhat incomplete - it doesn't seem to make any sense).

Karno: A Treasure Hunt in Spain

Karno's story here is one of my absolute favourites for him. From protecting the MC from getting hurt and showing his rather scarier side for once, to him and MC working together to work out what to do about a problem regarding someone on both lists, to the solution being related to Karno's divine ability that he is so self-conscious about...

This is just absolutely wonderful and I guess it also shows that they could have done more stuff that focussed directly on the departments' work if they'd wanted to.

Okay now for my re-read thoughts rather than me just blurting out random thoughts before even reloading this one:

In Leon's story he doesn't use his powers to let MC understand the language until it's clear she doesn't know what someone near them is saying, in Teo's MC has to ask what someone is saying for him to make her understand though he does at least explain what he's doing, and in Hue's it never comes up because the one person they speak to is Japanese anyway. Here though? It's nearly as soon as they arrive that Karno makes it so that MC can understand the language and even tells her in advance. Ever reliable, Karno.

Well... I just called him ever reliable, but... um... Karno... did you really just ask someone if they were a 'local human?' that sounds really bizarre! I'm going to presume you were still rather panicked about MC nearly catching fire and angry enough at someone deliberately causing said fire that you didn't think through your wording cos otherwise...

But it is interesting how here we do get to see Karno genuinely angry. He won't stand for things that could get innocent people hurt, especially not when it nearly happened to MC. And yet once they've heard more and MC has calmed him down, we're back into Karno feeling like he can't do anything about the situation despite having all these powers available to him.

As I was saying in my initial thoughts about this one I really like the set up here: someone on both lists (Karno accidentally has the punishments list) and working out what they can do to resolve this when he can't touch anything on the list for the other department. There is a problem with one of the suggestions you can get MC to initially say here though - and the only reason it is a problem is because of the prologue excusing some of the other gods. For Karno's response to work, he really would need to not know where any of the Punishments' Gods are. But that's the fault of the setup before we even get to this story, and in the end that isn't what they need anyway.

*sigh* Karno really doesn't think he's of use does he? Even here it's MC who points out how his divine power might be able to help - at least for the first part. Later it is Karno who uses it of his own volition.

But yeah, I'm trying my hardest not to spoil this story here. It really is a gem, and a very interesting idea.

A DIVINE TRIP FOR TWO: PUNISHMENTS

Scorpio: A Treasure Hunt in Shanghai

Pfft oh Scorpio you really care far more than your irritated forced persona implies. From claiming that you just think walking around would be better than sitting in a stuffy hotel room, to watching MC's reaction to the pandas instead of the pandas yourself... you're being so sweet here.

Actually this whole thing is really touching. Scorpio's even being nice about the Department of Wishes for once!

I may not be that aware of the real life Earth astrology stories but I still like it when they come up here, and I especially like how Scorpio keeps disillusioning MC about other more minor gods. 😂

Like Leon's, the actual issue here might be a little less interesting than Hue's and Karno's, but it is still something important, and thinking on it it was kinda nice that this one had a punishment's god in it and it appeared to be heading in one direction when it really was not that at all.

Dui: A Treasure Hunt In England

Oh Dui 😭 *hugs him tightly* . I swear MC gets into actual physical danger far more when she's with Dui than when she's with anyone else. And this time it only happens because of how much fun she and Dui were having earlier.

Dui's another who actually uses his powers immediately to let MC understand the language. It's clear some thought about that more than others.

As someone from the UK I have to say it's kinda nice seeing these backgrounds of London in SCM 😅 Though it probably helps that Dui is so excited here! His happiness is infectious.

Despite the real danger MC is in in this one I really do like how this one turned out, and Dui? It wasn't your fault, I feel more like your luck is as bad as Hue's! I mean what the king sent you to find here... I think even he was trying to give you a break for once and instead this mess happens. 😭

Ichthys: A Treasure Hunt in Hawaii

Ichthys does actually make MC understand the language pretty quickly here too - once he's stopped being distracted by the sea and sea creatures that is.

But aside from the little fun at the beach at the start of this, this story is utterly heart-wrenching. The parallels between Ichthys and who he and MC are there to help. OUCH.

I think I'm struggling to put anything into words here because I may well have said before how much I relate to Ichthys and this kind of story really isn't helping with that.

This story is great but if you know what Ichthys' main path is like, this is him helping someone who is hiding pain like he used to.

I... I just...

😭

Zyglavis: A Treasure Hunt in New York

Okay let's move on from Ichthys' story before I choke up further, and lets head to Zig's.

Geez, Zig, thanks a lot. I got MC to answer your question diplomatically and this is your reaction. 😂 I adore Zig's snarkiness though. In fact I realised a while back: I seem to like people being sarcastic at me. 😅

Oh but there's sweet Zig immediately afterwards too... a dessert shop where he initially doesn't want anything and then MC points out they have Chocolate Ganache and now he's grappling with himself about it. 😆

Pfft: This reminds me of one of the differences between Huedhaut and Zyglavis actually. Hue is the one getting one up on MC and her grumbling to herself that she can't win with him, with Zig it's the other way around. Even though he has cutting snark it's MC that takes advantage of the situations around them and it's often Zig who thinks she can't win with her. I'm pretty sure if this food scene was in Hue's we would have ended up somewhere where even if others weren't doing it, Hue would have insisted on feeding MC, but here MC tricks Zig into letting her feed him due to where they are, and he's just so flustered and sweet.

Also, Zyglavis is somewhat ignoring the king's mission without MC fully realising it until he brings it up, rather than being vocally upfront like Dui was. I suppose it does make sense that he would go that route here, because it's one of the few times where he hasn't got to think about a million other things to do with work and the departments and the other Zodiac Gods. He might have a fetch quest from the king that he's supposed to be doing, but he also knows they won't be interrupted here. Which is probably why we're getting a more relaxed Zyglavis, even whilst walking about outside.

THAT SAID: I know you thought to let her understand the language after she bought that concern up, and you left your shadow with her so she wouldn't worry about splitting up, but - did you really just rattle off directions in a place MC has never been before so rapidly and then disappear without giving her a chance to even ask you to repeat what you said if necessary?! I know your shadow showed her the way in the end but that initial abruptness must have terrified her. Or at least it did me! (At least he does realise about this, and is part of the resolution later).

Unlike Karno's they actually remember that there are some still working in the heavens in this one, and that's a nice moment in MC's mind. I hope this really was Lou and Aigo's doing.

Overall, this is like a less upsetting version of Dui's. It's a way to get Zyglavis and MC not only to relax but to elucidate their feelings a little more.

It's a very sweet little story.

Okay then... ranking time? Hmm... let's see:

Karno

Huedhaut

Teorus

Ichthys

Zyglavis

Dui

Scorpio

Leon

That was actually really hard to order. Those top four have a lot of interesting moments and could probably be re-ordered or listed as equal first. Then Zig and Dui's are very close and I'm still not sure whether I've put them the right way round. Scorpio and Leon's are great too, but I think for me that probably is where both of those fall.

[iamyoursonly]

Us (11/11/2023)

was thinking and then thought of something and this is the something, i’ve tried my best to organise my thoughts so please enjoy my new found delusions :)) i hope that it’s actually sweet <3

With my Starbucks coffee on the table, headphones on, books open and highlighters ready, I can feel the motivation kicking in. One chapter down, and another. The music playing in my ears kept me awake and working, like it was boosting my serotonin.

And then you put down your Starbucks order on the table, I could recognise that order right away, it was definitely you, and took off my headphones, and whispered “Whatchu doin’ baby?”

I couldn’t help but giggle at your silliness, “Obviously studying, Tetsu.” and you smile when you hear me use a mocking tone, “My baby is so adorable.” Then you’d act all serious and smart, looking as if you’ve been studying all day but all you’ve done was play volleyball.

“Are you sure you don’t need my help for this chemistry thing?” You keep asking, as if I can’t memorise the periodic table by heart. It was like you were mocking me at this rate, but I knew the offer was genuine and you just wanted to help, so how could I say no to you…

“I want gold but without the a.” You suddenly blurt out.

“What?”

“You don’t get the pick up line?”

“No??”

“What’s the chemical formula or gold baby.”

“Au?”

“Now think.”

“OH TETSU THAT WAS FOUL!!”

I rushed towards you and you embraced me in your arms to prevent me from punching your chest, but you deserved it anyways for teasing me out of nowhere!

The smiles and giggles and kisses and hugs and all that love were so unconditional it felt surreal, like the glamorous sky without any kind of dark clouds. Just the pure white ones and the nice sky. As if this scenery can’t describe your love for me, I don’t think anything else can.

Well maybe the waves of the sea can, how it’s sometimes calm and sometimes a bit raging; or the view of pretty daffodils in a crowds where everyone of them is unique and embraced by the sun. You were the sun and I’m your earth. Just like how you’re the court and I’m the volleyball, because I belong to the court.

My phone was on and you were on the court, you looked breathtaking when wearing that terrifyingly sexy competition tee of yours. So red, so hot. And your hair that day was ‘hairing’.

I remember standing on the side watching you play volleyball, you were blocking and spiking and leading the team, it was like I was learning more about you. I loved how you talk to your teammates, the way you lips move were so kind and caring. You might be a bit silly and distracted when Kenma is, but you’d still concentrate on the game.

I saw how your eyes were fixed on the ball and was so focused on winning. Maybe I wasn’t your passion, volleyball is.

“Tetsu, come on, you can win this!!”

I can see your lips slightly raise into a smirk and you mouthed back, “I shall win for you then, my love”

All i could do was to look at you from the spectators stand and try my best to cheer for you, because what can I do, pretend to be a man and go jump into the court and try recieving a ball? My anxiety was kicking in when Nekoma was losing my a mark, but then your gaze looked so confident I had to trust you.

And then you took the win and I was so happy that you did.

You and me right now might just be high school lovers that are in their slightly delusional phase, but deep down I believe that we could actually have a future. Because I genuinely love you so much and hope you could be in my life forever, and you love me too, ‘more than you could ever know’ you say.

“Forever you and me?”

“Forever you and me.”

masterlist

[bunnygirl678]

Which fics have you read more than once?

Ahhhh so I've read a lot of fics more than once! I usually leave a comment if I read something twice but not always, i forget sometimes lmao

I need to do a fic rec at some point, but to just link a few that i've reread recently (note i've been doing a lot of prec metal latelyyyy)

Okay my top 5 most reread for reguri/pms are below soooo enjoy! Although these aren't all of them, they're just the most recently reread lmao, ummm there aren't as many fics for gold/silver so you get more aus with reguri,

Take heed of ratings and tags if you see something you don't like don't read lmao

Reguri both game/manga is first cause it's first lmao (no specific order)

So this is my all time favorite Reguri story, I've reread it multiple times, Scale of the Heart Series by DeathandTaxes, it's really good and really long which is a bonus in my book,

A note, this one isn't complete and hasn't been updated since 2018 but i'm holding out hope lmao, it's also omegaverse which is my dirty little secret love While You Were Away by msOdds, this story is why i like mpreg lmao

This one is a soulmate au and i really really like it Reguri Week:CODA by loopid, really cute idea and i like how it was executed

High School AU!!! I love high school aus, I only have one going and it's gold/silver mostly because i've been out of high school too long and don't trust myself to write it well lmao, but this one is amazing, i remember clicking on it and being like, hmm not gonna read yet and when i finally did i ended up going back and rereading it (i was in the hospital with pneumonia so there wasn't much to do but read and write lmao) The Oak Tree by FarishtaFyre, it's soooo good, worth the read for sure

This one is spicy it's about slime!Red Experiment by chatonbiru

Prec/Hunter not gonna separate cause you know (no specific order)

Okay this is pokemas there's actually 3 separate stories all by the same author Dreamsgirl but i adore them so it's counting as one, and usually when i read one i'll go read the other two, Rebound, Mistakes Were Made, Rivalzoned (the last two also have some reguri)

And We Shall Burn by Juulz, this one is LONG which is great cause there are only a few long fics for this pairing which sucks, it's really well written and has a bunch of twists and turns

PMS_Apologist i've reread a bunch of her stuff, she's the best porn writer i know, beware it's on the side of dark which i'm all for but you know heed the tags, the first fic i read from her was really dark and i was like, yeah i'm gonna need more glad to see she has a ton, and we ended up becoming homies cause she likes bloodbank lmao, as for fics, this one is cute, and spicy but not dark, Awaiting the Apocalypse it's got the fun air that a lot of masters fics have. Also Facade which has no sex

Another long one, it had me crying so that's fun, Something to Fight For, by Yusuke_Uchiha, I read it in an afternoon while on pain killers with my shoulder and sobbed a ton lol

Heart to Heart by Kalkks, green being a good big brother figure which is always fun, cute story!

Then finally my top 5 fics of my own that i've reread

Blood bank, it is on going, i have the next ch written and i need to update lmao, alsooooo it's getting a companion piece for gold/silver and team rocket so you get to see how gio/delia started dating and why silver hates red, and it's also spicy but not published as of yet (it will be just as long as blood bank lmao)

Mama, Can You Die From A Broken Heart? me experimenting with a texting fic!! i ended up really liking it and have reread it multiple times, i wrote a good portion of it on a flight while fighting a hangover and no sleep but it's still good lmao

Soulmates in Higher Education Series first one is red/green second is actually a prequel but it's silver/gold i had fun writing them, i love soulmate aus so you know i had to write them

The Most Expansive Collection of Champion Red Merch in All of Kanto this one was fun to write, it's a snapshot fic with a storyline if that makes sense?

5 Times Eevee Helped Green When He Was Sick, +1 Time She Didn't it's rough around the edges, I was getting back into writing and as you can tell from the notes I was extremely ill, in the hospital, but i still love this fic, really liked my plan and whatnot,

BONUS: MY FAV AUs (And how many wips i have of each)

High School/College Love these, I have 1 WIP and it's gold/silver, but it's really good?? it started out as an attempt at originalshipping but the characterizations were off, until i realized they were more like gold/silver so i made some edits and changed the plan, i'll pick it back up at some point lmao

Omegaverse- leave me alone i love them so much, Reguri-5 wips, Prec-3 wips

Soulmate-need i say more?? 2 wips, one reguri, one prec

Hanahaki- sad flower disease?? Yes please, i love the angst, and i love flowers (fun fact i'm a licensed florist, but i never do anythign with itlmao) 1 wip each, neither are close to completion lol

Family- not found family, but like domestic?? idk, moreso with gold/silver, silver and gio reconnecting or never separating or idk, just fluffy family stuff

There are a ton more fics that I've read multiple times, or really enjoyed, if you run out of stuff to read let me know lmao, you can always beta my 97 open wips lmao

[doonarose]

Fic dump. Rated M (I think, correct me?). Really dumb fluffy thing that entered my brain two hours ago because of all the tomfoolery/hanky panky/monkey business discourse on my dash. And then I wrote it and that's my last two hours.

*****

Crowley reckoned that saving the world (again) had been rather a good thing. Getting Aziraphale back from heaven having finally seen the light (insofar as discovering various shades of grey, seeing reason and subsequently pushing the Metatron into a lake, at least) had been very good indeed. And coming to realize that Aziraphale actually, really, very much did want to kiss him had been wonderful, if a little awkward and also quite over-whelming.

Things had progressed from there and that was all rather glorious. Long, languorous afternoons in bed together, exploring comfort and pleasure and intimacy they could scarcely believe they’d managed to go without for over six millennia. And then that gave way to several frantic, frenetic shags around the bookshop, invariably punctuated by laughter and embarrassingly vulnerable and high-pitched sounds.

Crowley quite enjoyed seducing Aziraphale, but he didn’t want to be pushy about it and so after pouncing on him mid-breakfast – resulting in spilt tea and the discovery of twin ticklish spots behind Aziraphale’s knees – Crowley decided to wait him out for the next round.

He didn’t have to wait long because the very next evening, Aziraphale was overly fidgety. He opened and closed three different books without ever reading a page and then stood up quite loudly to ask, “Shall we retire upstairs for some tomfoolery?”

Crowley’s face shifted automatically into a sneer which then tumbled into a grimace as his shoulders tightened with concern that Aziraphale would take his revulsion that wrong way. Crowley was very quick to say, “Don’t call it that.”

Aziraphale seemed entirely unaffected, supremely confident in Crowley’s acquiescence, and was already on his way up the stairs. “I think it’s a rather lovely euphemism.”

Crowley was already trailing him obediently. “’s not. No room for you, me and Tom in the bed, certainly nothing foolish.”

Aziraphale was pushing open the bedroom door and shrugging his jacket off, his eyes bright as he rather deliberately tried to annoy Crowley. “You know it’s meant to be derived from a Tom who was, indeed, either very foolish, or made others do foolish things.”

“See, nothing to do with sex.”

Aziraphale pulled a face and looked ready to argue. Crowley shut him up the very best way he could think of.

*****

Nina held on to their takeaway cups for a beat too long and fixed Crowley with a cocked head and a raised eyebrow. “You two have been very holed up over there since you got back from wherever it was you went,” she remarked without handing over the beverages.

Crowley seethed silently and pulled his top lip back to bare some teeth. Aziraphale waited for a question.

“Lots of times I’ve walked past and it looks like you’re in, but the shop is closed. I mean, much more than it used to be.”

She handed over Aziraphale’s medium tea but, without any good reason, held onto Crowley’s four shots of espresso in a cup (he was cutting back).

“Not getting into any sort of trouble we should know about?” she finally asked.

Crowley still wasn’t sure how much she remembered of demons and angels, but clearly enough to have her a little worried. Or perhaps she was just being nosey.

Aziraphale smiled beatifically. “Oh, certainly not, my dear, nothing for you to worry about.” He did one of his bursting-with-excitement whole-body shimmies and Crowley’s embarrassment for him and for how ludicrously affectionate it made him feel turned the tips of his ears bright red. “Just spending some quality time together,” Aziraphale continued without any pretence whatsoever. Crowley discovered new depths to the embarrassment he could feel and to how deep underground he suddenly wanted to burrow. Nina hadn’t even so much as glanced at Aziraphale, instead she just stared down Crowley’s ever-growing grimace and red ears.

Aziraphale wasn’t done. “Discovering all sorts of shenanigans we can get up to,” he said, leaving absolutely no allusions as to what he euphemistically meant.

Nina grinned and Crowley bit out, “Don’t,” which may have been aimed at either or both of them. Beside him Aziraphale bounced on his feet and across the counter, Nina looked like she was thinking of a follow-up question. “Don’t,” he said again, warningly and reached for his coffee with urgently grabbing fingers.

Nina relented and handed it over so Crowley could take Aziraphale by the elbow and start pushing him towards the door. “Don’t tell people we’re discovering shenanigans,” he growled into Aziraphale’s ear.

Aziraphale just wriggled like he was enjoying himself. This only made Crowley smile which he really didn’t want to be doing now. They had to side-step a gaggle of schoolgirls pouring through the door.

“Well, I couldn’t very well tell her we were… you know,” Aziraphale kept his voice low and Crowley bit back another smile to see the rose in his cheeks.

“Could tell them nothing,” Crowley explained, holding the door open and gently guiding Aziraphale through it. Of course, they were met by Maggie, on her way in, smiling, as always.

Behind them, Nina called out, loud enough for half the street to hear and in such a tone that probably half the street would immediately know exactly what type of shenanigans Crowley and Aziraphale were up to. “Good for you boys, about time.”

Maggie’s eyebrows shot up in understanding, a couple of the schoolgirls giggled, and Crowley just continued to push Aziraphale out the door as he gave up the fight and called back over his shoulder, “It is and we’re not!”

*****

“Were you up for a little monkey business tonight, dear?”

Crowley covered his entire face with both hands and leaned both elbows heavily on the table. Aziraphale had to be deliberately doing this, otherwise there was no hope for them. The sex the day before had been rather good, it was a shame it would be their last time, but Crowley really couldn’t go on with things like this.

Peeking out from between his fingers, through the dark shades he only ever wore in public, Aziraphale’s tight-lipped smile and squared shoulders confirmed he was teasing. Crowley dragged his hands down his cheeks, pulling at the skin and trying to rub some of the heat out of them. “Why must you vex me on purpose, angel?”

“I thought you might like to engage in a little amorous congress?”

“That one’s not even a euphemism, just sounds awful.”

“How about bumping uglies?”

Crowley reeled at that, casting himself right back in his seat and released a guffaw that drew a couple of glances from fellow dinners.

Aziraphale beamed at him.

Leaning back in close and contemplating a little demonic intervention to at least keep wandering eyes and ears away, Crowley hissed, “Just call it sex, angel.”

Aziraphale pretended to think on that, pressing another mouthful clearly worthy of its own moan of appreciation into his mouth. It would have been lucky if the terrible euphemisms balanced out the obscene noises he made when he ate, but unfortunately, at no point had Aziraphale’s language actually put Crowley off even a little bit, and, to date, there wasn’t a single shared meal that Crowley could recall that hadn’t turned him on quite a lot.

“It isn’t just sex though, is it?” Aziraphale eventually decided.

Crowley arched an eyebrow and resisted the urge to reach forward and run his fingers over the back of Aziraphale’s hand. They didn’t do that, not in public, not yet. “’s not?”

“No,” Aziraphale said. “What we’re really doing, my dear, is making love.”

Aziraphale’s eyes sparkled and he took another bite and Crowley groaned and leaned back in his chair once more. “Good fucking grief,” was all he could say (mostly because – and he’d never, ever, admit this to anyone – he entirely agreed, and hearing Aziraphale say it was actually kind of thrilling).

“But back to the point, were we intending on making whoopee this evening?”

“Angel, if you discorporate me with your dreadful language, there won’t be any whoopee for quite a while.” Aziraphale ignored him and just took another mouthful of his meal. Reluctantly, begrudgingly, Crowley answered: “But yes,” and then he bent right forward at the hips, across the table, as close as he could get, voice dropped low and rough and secret, as he tried something new and daring, and in his own way, rather vulnerable. “Yes, I would rather like to fuck you tonight. Ideally until you’ve lost the ability to speak.”

Even if Aziraphale couldn’t quite bring himself to say any such thing, Crowley was increasingly aware that he rather liked to hear it. In private at least. And at that moment, at their usual table at the Ritz, in the privacy of their heads bowed together, Crowley saw straight away that it was making the angel’s breath catch and his pulse speed up.

A small victory, then.

Aziraphale took another slow mouthful and Crowley slipped back into his seat to watch with his chin perched on his hand, his elbow on the table.

“Very good, then,” Aziraphale said, still satisfyingly breathless. He laid his knife and fork down on the plate. “I was enquiring as I thought, with that being the case, we could perhaps get dessert to go?”

“Sounds perfect, angel.”

“Since you’ve so gallantly promised to butter my crumpet.”

Aziraphale wriggled with his enjoyment at the way Crowley’s face crumpled.

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” Crowley griped and then simply followed up with, “I despise you.”

“You don’t,” Aziraphale replied, singsong and knowing.

*****

Crowley was in a ridiculously good mood. But he wasn’t thinking about it too much, lest he scare it off. It probably had a lot to do with Aziraphale, and it was probably rather unbecoming on his moody, sharp, dark frame.

Just the other day, Aziraphale had prodded him into bringing all his plants into the bookshop to find permanent spots for them; then he had taken him shopping to buy quite a few more. The day after that, Aziraphale had not only allowed Crowley to wedge a rather large flatscreen TV up against the wall in the spare bedroom, but had then snuggled up between his legs on the single bed and managed to watch all of Pride and Prejudice with only a handful of interjections about deviations from the book (Crowley had no idea if it would be a mistake to press the 1995 mini-series on him next).

And then Aziraphale had spent two hours this morning bent over his desk next to a mysterious man with a thick accent, ooohing and ahhhing at a simply sublime set of books they were on offer for purchase. He’d made a big show of asking Crowley if he thought the price was fair and Crowley had followed the prepared script and helped him haggle another ten percent off the first editions he’d selected. Why that particular interaction made Crowley extraordinarily happy was not something he was ready to contemplate.

All of this was to say that it wasn’t his fault what happened when he got bored of the book he’d been trying to read (Aziraphale had insisted he at least try reading novels) and slinked up the stairs to search out Aziraphale.

He found him sitting in the center of the four-poster bed in their bedroom (that was still unofficial, that it was theirs, but it was), his back against the pillows fluffed up on the headboard, ankles crossed with only thick woollen socks covering his feet. His waistcoat was all the way undone, as was his bowtie and top buttons. His shirt sleeves were folded back to the elbows and his wire-framed reading glasses were perched on his nose as his brow creased with concentration. Intermittently, he scribbled into a notebook propped open against his thigh and turned the pages of a stapled photocopy of some ancient text back and forth with his other hand.

Like this, especially before he even noticed Crowley lurking in the doorway, Aziraphale was devastatingly handsome. And rather likely to be Crowley’s undoing, he thought, still very happily.

He moved into the room and Aziraphale glanced up, casting him a smile as he continued to scribble.

Crowley rounded the bed and considered his options, although really there was just one: slip onto the mattress, beneath the sheets, and have his way with this perfect, delicious, delectable angel, precisely as lazy Tuesday afternoons and high thread count bedding were designed for. And if Aziraphale wanted to make him wait, to keep working, or even just to tease him, then he would wait. What else was there to do?

“Are you wearing sock garters again”? Crowley asked, trying very hard to sound unimpressed when really he was the opposite and already delighted at the thought of the extra touches and movements required to unclip and slide them down Aziraphale’s warm calves. The fact that Aziraphale must be the only man left on the planet that bothered with them was also infuriatingly endearing, in much the same way most of his endearing qualities infuriated Crowley.

“I am,” Aziraphale responded without looking up. “I’m afraid these socks require them and these are my most comfortable lounging socks.”

“Nobody has lounging socks, angel.”

Crowley knelt onto the mattress beside Aziraphale’s feet and Aziraphale finally looked up at him. “Did you want to take them off?” he asked, holding far too much control and expectation in his voice. Crowley rather liked that, too.

“If you want me to?” Crowley slipped one hand up Aziraphale’s right trouser-leg, over the warm scratchy wool to the skin between it and the smooth elastic material of the garter itself. He stroked his fingers back and forth.

“Are you trying to tempt me away from my work?” Aziraphale asked.

“Well, I mean, ‘s my job, isn’t it?”

Aziraphale lips quirked up. “Trying to entice me into a little afternoon delight”?

Crowley didn’t entirely hate that one, or perhaps Aziraphale really had started to wear him down. And he was so very, very happy that afternoon, for whatever reason, deliriously so, which was the only explanation for why he next said: “A little hanky panky never hurt anyone.”

Aziraphale snorted and Crowley felt the euphemism trip dirtily off his tongue as though it was a proper blaspheme and as though blasphemy was a real thing. He tried to swallow it back down and spit it out at the same time, like it tasted truly awful and should never have been uttered, but it was all too late.  He opened his mouth with a flinch, rolling his tongue and pulling a disgusted face that just made Aziraphale laugh.

“Shut up,” he said without venom and very quickly stripped Aziraphale’s right calf of sock and garter, scratching his nails through the hair across his shin as he did.

“Say it again and I’ll let you take my trousers off,” Aziraphale teased.

“Didn’t say anything,” Crowley grumbled, slipping his hands up the left trouser leg.

“What don’t you just ask me for a roll in the hay?”

Crowley said nothing but stripped the second sock and garter off, taking a moment to give Aziraphale’s naked foot a good, tight squeeze. Foot-rubs were a thing they did now, although Crowley was still making his mind up whether he preferred to give or to receive.

“Knocking boots?” Aziraphale tried. “The horizontal tango? A rendezvous beneath the sheets? What about making sweet, sweet music?” He was failing to keep the laughter out of his voice.

And Crowley was turning red in the face of it, he moved to crawl up the bed and put a stop to what should really be quite an off-putting monologue but Aziraphale stopped him with a foot against his chest.

Which in itself should certainly not have done what it did to Crowley’s stomach.

“Hanky panky,” Aziraphale reminded him.

“Fuck,” Crowley breathed out. “Just fucking call it fucking, angel, you’ll find it freeing.”

Aziraphale did not look convinced but he also didn’t look like he didn’t quite enjoy Crowley’s dirty mouth. He’d admitted as much a couple of times by now, only ever in the dark, and only ever in between blissful, euphoric little moans.

Aziraphale let his foot drop back to the bed, moving his leg up and wide, inviting Crowley in. He seemed to search for a middle ground, “Fancy a shag?” he tried.

“What about a screw?” Crowley wasted no more time and crawled up the bed, slotting into place over and against him easily.

“You really are ridiculous,” Aziraphale told him.

“You are.”

#####

The war of the euphemisms waged for months. Aziraphale cheated by ordering in an entire book dedicated to the topic and once Crowley discovered this, there were moments in which he genuinely wondered when it would truly start to annoy him. Except it never did. There were many more moments where it served as a gateway to dalliances – to fucking, to, satan help him, making love – and, importantly, to talking about it. They got tremendously good at it, rather fast, as they very much deserved.  

And in the end, Crowley had to admit, it was all worth it: the red-tipped ears and the giggles of Nina and Maggie, the way his whole body recoiled every time he heard Aziraphale’s latest bad euphemism, and his tongue tasted like cabbage every time he was tricked or enticed into uttering one of his own. And it was especially worth it for the moment when Aziraphale seemed to finally tire of the game, or perhaps, there was just something in the air.

Aziraphale sidled right up behind him, never one to be quiet about such things, and rested his hands on Crowley’s hips from behind. He hooked his chin over Crowley’s shoulder and Crowley learned back into the embrace automatically, entirely ready for whatever romantic, archaic, trivial thing Aziraphale felt the need to tell him.

Instead, Aziraphale whispered, hot breathed into his ear, “Darling, would you like to come upstairs and fuck me?” and that broke Crowley for quite a long while.

[gummybugg]

How well would your OCs do against a cockroach tag game

🚧Fear Factor Edition⚠️

Tagged by @digitalsatyr23 here! Thanks! Do not mind me being extra!

Rules: rate your OCs by how well they'd do against a cockroach. Bonus: write an entire scene out of it if you want!

...

I shall do this with my Crater City characters. It only makes Sense that cockroaches Survived the story's apocalypse, yeah?

📺

Imagine a world where your greatest fears become reality…….

WELCOME TO FEAR FACTOR!

INT - ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - MIDNIGHT

Camera pans around 6 contestants, who stand near the barricaded entrance. It's dimly lit except for an orange glow coming from above the tank. The warehouse is relatively vacant, save for heaps of folded cardboard stacked up against the walls, large empty boxes used as chairs, and a glass tank about 3 yay’s big at the center of the room covered with a tarp. You can hear scratching noises from within the tank.

A cardboard cutout of Joe Rogan explains the rules to our 6 contestants: Blair, Elijah, Rose, Darcy, Frasier, and Melony (more info on them here). Royalty free, super-cool action-packed music plays in the background as the names and close-ups of each participant displays on the screen.

Joe Rogan Cutout: You six people have been brought here from all over the city for one reason. Stare fear in the eye as you compete for $50,000. If you're too afraid to attempt this stunt, you're eliminated. If you succeed, you will move on to the next round.

Blair: Sounds like a good deal to me. (placing his hands on his hips) You guys up for the challenge?

Elijah: God, this is so crazy, Blair, you know that?

Blair: Dude, you agreed to this.

Elijah: But they promised to help pay my debt, I couldn't just say no…

Darcy: I'm not really sure how that thing is even talking. Must be a hidden mic. There's no telling what else they've hidden here to track us all…

(Joe Rogan Cutout continues to explain the directions in the background, as if pre-programmed. Our 6 contestants don't seem very interested.)

Rose: I think this guy’s voice is kinda “much.” Who's he trynta to impress?

Melony: Probably cardboard cut-outs of his fans.

Frasier: Listen, everyone! You’re all missing the part where he told us we have to pair off!

Darcy: So, we're really taking orders from a slab of cardboard? All of you are insane!

Blair: (Jabbing a thumb at Darcy) Yeah, let's all trust this guy's moral compass.

Rose: Drag ‘em Blair!

Darcy: I'm not sure why I expected Rose to be more reasonable than this imbecile.

Elijah: What was that?

Blair: (staring up at Darcy) Whatcha gonna do when you have to bathe in a pool of insects in that Versace suit of yours? Cry?

Darcy: (staring down at Blair) I could bathe in a vat of insects and still come out five times more sane than you.

Blair: Since when was prolonged bug-to-skin exposure an indicator of someone's sanity?

Darcy: Blair—

Melony: (pops up from between Blair and Darcy) You didn't hear? There's actually been a recent study—

Darcy: (rubs his temples) God, not again…

Frasier: Everyone, please! I'm guessing the sooner we comply, the sooner we can get the hell out of here. What do y’all suggest?

Rose: Yeah, that's probably wise. But I'm not pairing off with him. (Glaring at Darcy) I'm still onto you, pal.

(Darcy appears cross.)

Blair: (quickly) Dibs on Elijah! (they high-five)

Rose: (linking arms with her brother) Me and Frasier!

Melony: (Beaming) Well, that leaves you and me, Darcy! We do have a lot of catching up to do.

(Darcy wears an expression of “Look, you're my best friend, and I love you, but I'm not sure if I'm going to remain sane this entire game when I'm paired with you”)

Melony: I'll take that as a “yes!”

Blair: So whoever was listening, can you give a tl;dr?

Elijah: I think it involves that tank over there

(Above "that tank over there" hangs an orange spotlight, beckoning the contestants with its misty mystique. The tank, covered, rests on a platform, accessed by a ramp. A dank, musty scent hangs in the air, causing Blair to pinch his nose. This mist machine reeks.)

Melony: Any idea what could be inside? Ooh, I bet it's a bunch of nightcrawlers…or maybe something else with scratchy legs!

Rose: Doc, I don't think nightcrawlers have legs.

Darcy: Rose, have you been in a bunker for the past thousand years?

Elijah: I haven't, but I'm starting to wish I was in one…God, what if there's spiders in there…?

Blair: Whatever it is, just watch the pro show you how it's done.

Joe Rogan Cutout: …stick your hand in a tank of cockroaches to search for the key to the detonators I strapped around your necks while you were unconscious so you can pass onto the next level...

(The screen displays each of the 6 contestants’ shocked reactions at rapid fire, not unlike an anime. Everyone begins to tug at the collar around their necks, while Darcy paces around, trying to come up with an escape idea.)

Joe Rogan Cutout: Any questions? (pauses for a moment) Good, then the timer starts…now!

Elijah: (touching his neck) Holy—what, now? Since when—?

Blair: And I was about to compliment you on your new choker, man…

Frasier: We have to get moving. Alright, who wants to go first?

Darcy: (arms crossed) And just how the [CENSORED] will this Joe guy know we've done what he's asked after we take a chance to find this supposed key? Is there one key or multiple? How do we know they'll even work?

Frasier: (irritated) What other choice do we have, Darcy?

(Darcy and the rest grow silent. The sound of the ticking 5-minute timer above the tank and the scratching from the now unveiled tank of cockroaches can be heard. The super awesome action music continues, seemingly louder than before.)

Melony: Looks like we'll have to give it a shot! I'm sure after each round, the tank resets and we have to find a new key in a different location in the tank!

Rose: How are you so sure?

Melony: I'm not!

(Well, that was reassuring... But little does Melony know that she's right and that the Narrator did not think about the logistics before writing this! Oh, lucky day!)

Frasier: (turning to Blair) You said you wanted to go first?

Blair: Y-yeah, of course! Come on, Elijah. (Tugging him by the hand) Let's show these [CENSORED]!

Elijah: Couldn't you do this round and I'll do the next…? I-I promise!

Blair: What, you chicken?

(Elijah looks back at the others as they make their way to the tank. Rose & Frasier whisper and laugh to themselves, probably about how Darcy is a buffoon. Darcy and Melony chat about installing a similar security/lockdown system to the mayor's office. Elijah looks at Blair, whose fear he can sense even behind his false heroism. This doesn't make him feel any better.)

Elijah: (voice cracking) No, yeah, let's do it!

(The others shout encouragements from about 20 feet away)

Rose: The sooner, the better, guys!

Darcy: Yeah, don't mind us standing way over here in case you spontaneously combust or something!

(Frasier nudges Darcy in the ribs.)

Frasier: Don't listen to him!

Melony: Go team Blijah! Or is it…Elair?

(Blair and Elijah stand at the tank as if waiting for the bugs to disappear. Good luck with that, man.)

Blair: Ready? On the count of three—

Elijah: (puts his hands on his head) I dunno, man, I can't do this!

Blair: Aw, c’mon, don't back out on me now!

Elijah: I know our lives are on the line, but I'd rather die like this than shove my arms in a container of insects!

Blair: For real?

Elijah: Let me have my one selfish arc!

Blair: (sighing, grabbing Elijah's hand) Gimme your—

Elijah: Blair, I swear to God--

(Blair takes Elijah's arm and they both plunge shoulder-deep into the tank to feel around for the keys.)

(Not long after, You witness the travesty of our fallen heroes first hand. Tears stream down their faces, as they are overcome with abject horror. Their cries reverberate off the cold, stone walls of the warehouse: “Ew ew ew get it off of me!”, “I think one climbed in my ear!”, and “Can you get rabies from a roach bite?” A truly horrendous, yet laughable display, indeed.)

Blair: (amidst their cries) If I die this way, I just wanted to tell you that I think you really do pull off that choker pretty well!

Elijah: (with tears & snot running down his face) You do too!

Blair: You think so?

(Their hands meet in the shifting pool of cockroaches.)

(The camera zooms in on the two, who stare into each other’s eyes for a hot moment, enchanted at the sight of each other, despite the sight of cockroaches crawling into their orifices. Cue the romantic music.)

(Until...)

Elijah: I think I found a key!

Blair: Great! I found mine, like, 10 seconds ago.

Elijah: Why didn't you tell me?

Blair: Because you had to go and make me flustered!

Elijah: (arms extended) You idiot. Come here...

(They continue to snivel as they peel bugs off each other, promising each other to never agree to anything like this again.)

(Amidst their blubbering, Darcy silently appears right behind them, making them jump.)

Darcy: Are you two done? You've wasted 2 minutes!

(Blair and Elijah finally unlock their chokers, which clatter to the concrete floor.)

Blair: Yeah, but you can't try our keys.

Darcy: Why would I…? (face drops) Wait.

(Blair puts his hand over his mouth.)

Darcy: Don't you dare [CENSORED] swallow.

Elijah: (concerned) Blair…

Rose: Spit it out, Blair! Heel! Roll over!

Frasier: Blair, you're not thinking straight!

Melony: None of us think straight!

(Blair swallows both his and Elijah’s keys. Everyone sighs, irritated. Also that's kinda disgusting since it touched all those cockroaches. Ew.)

Rose: Well, this isn't the first time he's swallowed someone’s keys.

Elijah: How did they taste?

Blair: (spitting out an antenna) I dunno, cockroach-y…metallic…

Darcy: (face-palming) You are what’s wrong with our world.

...

Tagging @angry-kid-with-no-money @elshells @hallwriteblr @wrenofthewords @enchanted-lightning-aes @oh-no-another-idea @faelanvance @moonluringfrost @comicgoblinart @rubywrite @jay-avian & anyone who wants to join :')

...

🚗 Want to rot your brain with each sporadic Crater City post? Join the taglist! Maybe I'll finish this wip someday, who knows! (ask to be added/removed): @writeouswriter @lyra-brie @digitalsatyr23

[bluejay-writes]

Heaven is a Misnomer - Chapter 6

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Rating: Teen Chapter 6 Wordcount: 3115 Characters/Relationships: Jake (Exchange student OC) / Raphael Summary: Jake comes into conflict with an angel. Gets help from an unexpected source, but the conflict continues when he gets 'home'. Chapter Warnings: Bullying, Abuse of Authority, Panic Attacks

You can also read this on AO3, if that's your jam!

First Chapter || Prev Chapter || Next Chapter

Chapter 6 - Conflict

At the end of his first class, Jake stretched, glancing back at the pages and pages of notes he took. He was going to need multiple notebooks for this class, he just knew it. Which was fine, honestly. He’d rather be learning a lot about a topic he was ignorant in, even if disinterested, than be bored to tears in a standard high school class. Honestly, he thought this was probably what college would be like, so he was taking it seriously.

Looking back at his things, he checked the schedule that he’d taped to the front cover of his planner. His next class is in this same room, but he needs to choose a seat that’s closer to the front. He couldn’t always read the board, and he was damned if he was going to need glasses just to exist in the Celestial Realm.

As he moved past the crowds of students who were leaving the classroom to head elsewhere, he bumped into one of them. Or they bumped into him. He would never be sure which. The angel in question looked angry, and turned on their heel to pin him with a glare.

“Watch where you’re going, mortal.”

Jake blinked. He knew immediately that this was a garbage bullying situation. He’d been a bystander to all of Nia’s issues at school, and he could practically smell a bully from a mile away. “Oh, I am so sorry! I thought I was being careful, but I clearly wasn’t careful enough. It won’t happen again.”

“Are you mocking me?” The angel said, and between one blink and the next Jake went from looking at a generally average looking guy to looking at a very tall, very winged, four-faced being. Maybe there was some merit to be not afraid and he should stop making fun of it.

“Absolutely not.” Jake said, seriously, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down. “I simply wasn’t watching where I was going. It’s my first time here, and I’m very distracted.”

“You’re going to be very something if you don’t start treating me with the proper respect.” The angel said, his voice even louder in this form.

Jake winced, and looked away. This was not how he expected his first day to go.

“That’s absolutely enough, Ophaniel.” A voice said from behind Jake, and he turned to see Azrael, still in her ‘normal’ guise, but looking so angry she was just as frightening to Jake as the angel in front of him, apparently named Ophaniel.

The angel in question suddenly popped back into their standard form, eyes wide, but lips sneering.

“Oh, I see. Poor mortal. Caught Azrael’s attention? Your days are already numbered, I don’t need to waste my time on you.”

They turned to leave, and then called out one final remark; “Thanks for the assist, Azrael.”

Jake turned to Azrael who didn’t look any less angry. Was she mad at him? Was he the actual problem here?

Azrael took hold of the hem of his shirt like he was an errant toddler in need of handling, and hauled him and his armload of things over to a seat, and settled him into it.

“Clearly you’re not capable of keeping yourself out of trouble, so let me do you a favor and have you sit with me.” She settled him and then snagged his planner off the top of his stack, looking over his schedule with a close eye. “We have all but one class together, so you should be covered from here out.”

Jake just blinked at the whirlwind that was Azrael. “Uh. Thank you? And I’m sorry.”

Her sharp eyes turned on him, and then suddenly softened. “Why are you sorry?”

“Well, I mean, you had to protect me, and you don’t like humans, and now you’re putting me next to you in class, and… you’re mad at me.”

“Mad at you? What would give you that idea?”

“You’re mad. And the angel who got all big thought I was in trouble with you, so…”

Azrael sighed, and shook her head. “Mortals. I forget you look grown long before you are. Jake, I’m not angry with you. I’m angry with that idiot for letting his bias show and making the Celestial Realm look bad on your very first day.”

“Oh.” Jake said quietly, feeling his throat tighten. No, Jake. No crying. Admonishing himself was unlikely to help. He wasn’t very good at dealing with people yelling around him. Nia was good at dealing with the angry ones. Even his mom was better at dealing with them than he was. He just curled up into a little ball and let it pass. If it passed.

Azrael sat back in her chair and didn’t say anything. Whatever her intent, it gave Jake some time to get ahold of what was going on in his head. When he managed to shake off the stillness that had overtaken him, he turned to look at Azrael again.

“Thank you for having my back.” He said quietly. “Sorry about all this.”

“No need to apologize. You’re a good kid. I don’t mind playing babysitter.”

Jake laughed ruefully. “You look like you’re my age. It’s weird to think about you being old enough to casually call me ‘kid’.”

Azrael smirked. “I’m old enough to call your great grandparents ‘kid’.”

Jake nodded. “That tracks. The angel of Death has been around a bit.”

Azrael chuckled. “Yeah, a bit.”

“Hopefully I don’t need a babysitter too long.”

“Well, you’ve got one anytime we’re in class. Except Gym class. You’ve got that one with Raphael though, so I’m not worried.”

“Yeah I was going to ask about that. Gym Class… seems…”

“All angels are expected to be a certain level of physically active and fit. For those of us with wings it is often used as flying practice, but as you’re a wingless type, it’ll probably be running.”

“Ew.”

“Agreed. I got an exemption so I don’t need to take it.”

“I wonder if they’d waive it if I told them I already completed my P.E. credits back in high school.”

Azrael paused as if in thought, and Jake waited while she found the words for what she wanted to say.

“Unlikely.” She said, “But you could always ask Michael. I’d normally say it couldn’t hurt to ask, but I never know what’s likely to set him off these days.”

Jake huffed out a breath. Michael seemed like a problem. Before he could respond to Azrael again, class started, and his mind was lost to taking notes once again.

Lunch came, and Azrael showed him the way to the lunchroom. Shiny, Aya, and Bunny were all waiting for him at the doorway, and after a bit they all settled at a table with their lunches, to chatter and eat food during their break.

Jake didn’t even consider the fact that Azrael was still stuck to him like glue until Shiny raised an eyebrow as she settled into the chair next to him at their table.

“Jake, who’s your shadow?”

Azrael scoffed, but let him answer the question on his own, which he appreciated.

“Oh! Shiny, Aya, Bunny, this is Az! Erm, Azrael. Sorry.”

Azrael just smirked.

“Oh. Azrael. I. Uh.” Shiny looked awkward, and Jake remembered Azrael’s comment about her the first time they met.

“Shiny, Azrael’s cool. She won’t bite, I swear.”

Shiny blushed bright red and muttered something under her breath, and suddenly Jake was sure that Shiny’s avoidance of the angel wasn’t about what Azrael knew or didn’t know about life and death but instead was more about the angel herself.

“Aw!” Aya said with a smirk and a wink. “But biting’s the fun part!”

Trust a demon to break the tension, Jake thought as he laughed.

“Anyway,” Jake said between bites of his sandwich, “Azrael and I have almost all of our classes together, so we’re hanging out. She’s promised not to let me fail any tests.”

“No, I promised you wouldn’t fail any. It’s not up to me, it’s up to your brain.”

That made everyone laugh, and Shiny finally seemed to get over whatever weird blushing mess she’d turned herself into. Jake couldn’t wait to ask her more about that later. Lunch devolved into chatter about classes and angels, and the same normal kind of gossip and shenanigans that Jake had loved from his usual school life. It was admittedly weird to be having a lunchroom lunch instead of having his half-hour of therapy every day. He wasn’t sure he wouldn’t rather have had the therapy still. Not that lunch was bad, but his new school was an entire time.

“Azrael.” Shiny said, “Why did you ask Jake if he had signed a covenant with Michael yet?”

“Not signed with. Made with.” Azrael said sharply.

“Jake can’t. He’s completely normal.”

“I know that now.” Azrael muttered. 

“Wait, what’s the difference?” Jake asked, confused.

“The wording implies who is bound by the covenant, and who benefits from that binding.” Azrael said. “In this case, you are incapable of making a covenant because you have no magic to bind you to your word.”

“Oh.” Jake said, suddenly wondering even more about why Michael would want to make a covenant with him.

“Yep.” Azrael said, just as forthcoming with her words as usual.

As though summoned, the bell rang, shrill and irritating, sending the lot of them scrambling to get back to class.

Jake is still on cooking duty for dinner that night, but to his great joy, it just amounts to the same kinds and amounts of work as breakfast; Gabriel gave him vegetables and fruits and the like to chop up, and had him set the table.

As usual, Michael was joining their dorm for dinner, and Jake found it hard to eat the food on his plate, even though he’d helped prepare it. He knew it was good for him. He even knew it was delicious, because Gabriel had convinced him to taste things as they went and give opinions. But something about having Michael staring down the table made eating food seem like the worst idea. His stomach was in knots. 

“Tonight is the first of our evening seminars that we’ll be holding. The topic will be a high-level overview of Celestial Realm History, etiquette, and other important topics for those of you who are new.”

Jake winced. Evening seminar. This implied it would take up his entire evening. At least he didn’t have a lot of homework yet?

As if he’d been waiting for some kind of complaint, Michael speared him with a glance. “These seminars are of course optional, and a lack of attendance will not directly hurt your grades here, however you will likely miss important information that will make your time here harder than it needs to be. I can’t recommend strongly enough that you all attend. It would be a good refresher for the rest of the dorm as well.”

Oh. Okay. Optional. Like Mrs. Frank’s extra credit. Sure, it wouldn’t directly affect your grade if you didn’t do it, but if everyone else did it and you didn’t, the curve would make it affect your grade regardless. He had a feeling that while it wouldn’t have a direct effect on his marks to miss the evening seminar, Michael would make it affect him in some way or another. Great. Great. The more he learned about this Head Angel in Charge the more he disliked the man with every fiber of his being.

“Ah, and Jacob.” Michael said, pinning him with a look. “I’d like to see you in my office after dinner, please.”

Jake started to open his mouth to once again correct Michael about his name. Again. He was interrupted by Feniel across the table.

“Excuse me, Michael. Weren’t we supposed to talk about…”

Jake didn’t get to hear the rest of Feniel’s sentence, as next to him Azrael hissed in his ear. “Stop fighting him in public, Jake. Don’t give him reason to find a way into binding you.”

Jake wanted to argue. He hated when people used his full name more than almost anything, because the only one who did was his dad. But the look in Azrael’s eyes, that slight panic she was trying desperately to hide, convinced him otherwise. Before he could respond, of course, Michael had already turned his attention back to him.

“Alright, Jacob, fifteen minutes after dinner?”

Jake just nodded. “See you then.” He could practically feel Azrael relax next to him. What in the world did Michael do to engender that kind of panic in the angel of death of all people? He was worried.

Even though dishes weren’t his chore of the day, Jake helped get the table cleared after dinner so that he wouldn’t have to just go back to his room for a couple minutes before going to talk to Michael. And because it was his only chance to try and get some more information out of Azrael about what she’d said at dinner.

“Azrael.” he said, catching her attention before she got to the actual washing of the dishes. “Got a minute?”

“Just one.” She said tersely. She clearly knew what he wanted to ask and didn’t really want to talk about it.

“What did you mean about binding?”

“That’s what the covenants do. Bind you to someone.”

“But I don’t have any magic. He can’t.”

“If you keep pushing, he’ll find a way.”

Jake blinked, a cold chill creeping down his spine. “Oh.”

“So please. Do us both a favor and just… fly under his radar a bit, okay?”

Jake nodded, needing no further push in that direction. His dad already had a vice grip on his life, he didn’t need a garbage celestial dad with a magical vice grip, thanks.

Jake passed Feniel in the hallway, and they shared an awkward smile. He knew full well the Angel had probably gotten a talking to for interrupting Michael at dinner, but he seemed pretty okay, all told. He did have something he needed to talk to Michael about, so it was probably fine. Jake couldn’t just go assuming that Michael was going to be garbage just because the angel reminded him of his dad.

Of course, the minute he saw Michael’s ‘office’, all charitable thought went out the window. It was creepy. It was a small room, separated from the basement lecture hall by a cutout wood panel wall. Not a true wall at all, just a pretend wall. It wouldn’t keep light or sound in or out, so only gave the thinnest veneer of privacy. Add to that the presence of a bed in the corner, and Jake was more than a little creeped out.

Michael looked up as he entered, giving him a moment to take in the space completely before speaking.

“So, Jacob. I heard you had an altercation with an angel during passing time today.”

Jake nodded. This was true.

“Tell me what happened.”

“It was between classes, I was moving up closer to the front of the classroom, since I had an issue hearing my first teacher and didn’t want the same problem for my second class. I was distracted thinking about what we covered in my first class, and ran into him. I apologized, but he was—”

“That’s absolutely enough. Ophaniel came to me this afternoon in tears. Clearly your apology wasn’t sincere.”

“Wait, in tears? That’s not right.” Jake said, immediately feeling the need to defend himself. “He got very angry with me and got so much bigger than he was before. Azrael—”

“Oh, I know this part.” Michael said, with a bitterness to his tone. “It’s not right that you should be relying on your status as an exchange student to get you out of situations where words would suit. He told me that Azrael set you straight, so I’ll forego any punishment, this time.”

Jake just blinked at him. What? That angry so-and-so in tears? He’d been about to be paste on the classroom floor until Azrael stepped in. And Azrael was the one that set him straight, and not Ophaniel?

“Punishment. For being attacked? I never once said anything but an apology to the angel in question, Michael.”

“You’re kidding, right Jacob? This whole thing is a joke, haha, joke’s on Michael. ‘I didn’t harass the angel, he harassed me!’ As though I’m meant to take your word over someone with whom I have a covenant?”

Jake felt himself freeze, fear running through his veins like ice. Azrael’s words came back to him then, and he definitely regretted talking back to Michael even the tiniest bit. He knew that his mother wasn’t here to get him out of this confrontation, and it was going to take everything he had to get out of this in one piece.

“I will be more careful in the future.” he said, keeping his eyes on the desk in front of the angel. Maybe looking passive was the way through this. His mother always admonished him to pick his battles. Maybe it was time he learned that lesson. This wasn’t one she could fight for him, after all. He really hoped she was alright.

“I don’t believe you.” Michael said sharply. “Look me in the eye and swear that from this point on you’ll behave while you’re here, Jacob.”

Jake swallowed his retort, and nodded, looking up to meet Michael’s eye. He knew he was probably even paler than usual, and he could feel the soft tremors starting in his fingers. He needed to end this conversation and get out of here before it got out of hand.

“I will be on my best behavior while I am here in the Celestial Realm.” He said, and if he was proud that his voice didn’t shake, he was also relieved that pride didn’t bleed into his tone. “I promised my mother, and I make the same promise to you.”

Michael nodded, and dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “See that you do.”

Jake took the dismissal and all but bolted out of the office. He needed to get back to his room, and fast. As he left he passed Raphael standing near Michael’s door, and wondered how much the Angel of Discipline had heard. Had he been there in case Jake made a scene? In case Michael decided he required some discipline? Did he require discipline? He certainly hoped not. Raphael nodded to him, though, and didn’t move. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jake knew he should be proud that Raphael even acknowledged him, but mostly he was terrified.

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

The Will of the Force - CH 20

Fandom: Star Wars Rating: Mature Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Obikin           AO3         Masterlist

Summary:  What if Obi-wan hadn’t been granted permission to train Anakin in the ways of the Force? What if Qui-Gon hadn’t perished during the battle with Darth Maul? How differently would things have turned out?

*** MY WORK IS NOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER SITE WITHOUT MY EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. THOUGH REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE SUPER LOVED AND APPRECIATED! THANKS FAM!***

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Chapter 20  

     The trip back to Coruscant was spent with Anakin doing his utmost to keep his ever restless Jedi in bed and resting, by any means. That very much included endless makeout sessions while laying in Obi-Wan’s bed in the medbay, their lips rarely leaving the others except for a quick breath here and there, hands tangled in each other's hair, limbs entwined. At some point Anakin wasn't sure where he ended and Obi-Wan began, not that he was complaining. If it kept Obi-Wan in bed rather than wandering through the ship, risking potentially worsening his injuries, then Anakin was more than happy to lay in that too small bed forever and kiss Obi-Wan until he couldn't breathe anymore.

     But of course, all good things must come to an end, as all too soon they landed on Coruscant and they were forced to break apart and get out of bed. The rest he acquired on the trip back had done Obi-Wan well, as he was walking on his own now, less and less needing Anakin's shoulder to lean on for support. Anakin was pleased with it, but as they walked off the ship with Padmé and Qui-Gon in front of them, Master Yoda and Master Windu both waiting for them in the hanger, Obi-Wan suddenly leaned over and wrapped an arm around Anakin's shoulders. He felt heavy again, and though it worried Anakin for just a moment, something flashed across the bond and he very quickly understood. 

     “Your Highness, Prince Anakin,” both Windu and Yoda bowed as they reached them, “we are glad that you're both safe, as well as you, Master’s.”

     “All thanks to Master’s Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan,” Padmé gestured to the two Jedi beside her, “if it weren't for them we surely wouldn't be here right now, and I especially owe a great deal of gratitude to Master Obi-Wan for saving my Anakin.”

     “Rewarded for his efforts, Master Obi-Wan shall be,” Yoda said, and nodded toward where Obi-Wan was still heavily draped across Anakin's shoulders. 

     “Thank you, Master.”

     “But for now we must get you both to the council room for debriefing,” Windu announced, “your Highness, the room you were in previously is still available to you, as is the room across the hall for the young Prince. I can have another Jedi escort you both there if you would like.”

     “Actually,” Obi-Wan started, leaning impossibly heavier on Anakin's shoulders, “I am still very weak from my bout with the Sith Lords. If it is at all possible, I wouldn't mind the allowance of one more night of rest before we jump into meetings and debriefings.”

     “Informed us of your injuries, Master Qui-Gon has, but more to tell, you have?” Yoda looked up to Qui-Gon who simply nodded, giving nothing more away. “Then meet tomorrow, we shall, to discuss what remains. Wait until then, the rest can. Rest you must for now, Obi-Wan. Help you need with the Master, young Prince?”

     “That's okay,” Anakin nodded to him, gripping tighter to Obi-Wan’s hand over his shoulder and pulling him closer to his side, “I would like to help Master Kenobi, if that is alright, he did save my life after all.”

     Yoda contemplated it for a moment, before nodding and smiling up at Anakin. “Very well then, to the Halls of Healing, go you will.”

     “Ah…” Obi-Wan started, “I think a good night's rest in my chambers is all I need, Master.”

     “Very well,” he repeated, “anything you need, let us know.”

     “Thank you, Master Yoda, I do appreciate it.”

     Yoda nodded to him, then turned his attention to Windu. “Aid the Clones with the prisoner, perhaps we should instead.”

     All of them turned just in time to watch both of the Clone battalions who had aided them at the Sith Citadel, leave the ship with Palpatine, lead by both Cody and rex. Their blasters were all focused on him, not a single one of them turning their eyes away from the Sith Lord for so much as a single second, and as soon as they were off the ship they were surrounded by a ring of Jedi Masters. There was no escaping in the cards for Palpatine this time, not without a fight he would not win.

     “You may think you've won, Kenobi, but this reprieve will not be the happy ending you expect it to be,” Palpatine spat as he was escorted past them, “the dark side has not died, the Sith will prevail, and next time we meet I will ensure that you suffer until you are begging me for death.”

     “Hey! Keep it shut!” Rex shouted as he shoved his blaster hard into the Sith Lords back, pushing him forward. “Keep it moving!”

     He said no more as he walked with the Clones and Jedi through the hanger, each step bringing him closer and closer to his fate. But despite the fact that Palpatine was very much subdued and completely under control, Obi-Wan could feel the tension and worry suddenly encompassing the bond. 

     “Allow you all to take your leave, we will. Deal with the former Chancellor, we must,” Yoda said then turned to follow the Clones, “come, Master Windu, much to do we have.”

     He too said his goodbyes and left, and the second they were out of sight Obi-Wan turned to face Anakin, lifting his free hand to cup his cheek. “Don't worry, my darling, he cannot hurt you again. His reign is over.”

     “But everything he said…” Anakin shook his head, the worry clear in his eyes, “What if it's true? What if he has something up his sleeve and we still aren't safe.”

     “Anakin, hush,” he soothed, “I promise you we are safe. Palpatine will be imprisoned until his fate is to be decided, under guard, with no chance to escape. And no matter what I will never be leaving your side again, there is nothing to worry about, my love. Please trust me.”

     “I do, I trust you, Obi-Wan,” he nodded, “he just worries me. He deceived us all once before, who's to say he won't be able to do it a second time.”

     “If he does, we will handle him and whatever he may attempt to throw our way,” Qui-Gon assured him from the side, then in an attempt to move Anakin's thoughts away from threats of danger, he placed a hand at the small of Padmé's back and said, “now, I shall escort Padmé up to her chambers, and I assume you will be helping Obi-Wan to his own chambers.”

     “I will make sure he gets there safely and gets all the rest he needs.”

     Qui-Gon smirked and eyed the pair knowingly, “I'm sure you will,” then turned Padmé away from them and walked her through the temple and toward her chambers.

     Anakin and Obi-Wan followed, at a much slower pace, but eventually they made it to the elevator that would take them to Obi-Wan’s room. They were both quiet the whole way there, with Obi-Wan still leaning on Anakin for support as they finally made it to Obi-Wan’s room, and he waved a hand to let them in. As soon as they were inside and the door was locked behind them, both Anakin and Obi-Wan smirked at one another, and Obi-Wan lifted his weight off of Anakin to stand perfectly fine on his own two legs.

     “So, you still need to rest, huh?” Anakin teased, crossing his arms over his chest.

     “Rest is definitely not what I need or what I want,” he answered and crowded into Anakin's space again, taking him by the waist and pulling him in as close as he could, “I just wanted one more night of peace with you before we have to face the Council tomorrow.”

     “Are you worried?” Anakin asked, kneading the back of Obi-Wan’s neck in an attempt to sooth him.

     He nodded his head, brushing his nose against Anakin’s as he did. “They will not be pleased with me. I pledged my life to the Jedi Order, and now to leave it so easily for love, a thing that a Jedi is forbidden to have… I fear they will not let me go so easily.”

     “We can still change the plan, Obi-Wan. We don't have to tell the Council anything. I can stay right here with you and you can continue to serve as a Jedi, we don't have to go back to Naboo if you don't want to.”

     “No,” Obi-Wan shook his head, tightening his grip around Anakin’s waist, “no, I want to come clean to the Council, I want them to know that I have fallen in love with you, I want them to know about our bond, and I want to tell them that I am leaving the Order. If we stay it will only place you in constant danger, should an enemy on a mission discover my love for you, they would surely use you against me. Not to mention I would rarely be here, I would always be sent away on orders from the Council, orders I would not be able to refuse, and I do not wish to ever be away from you again. I want to return to Naboo and live my life with you, not stay here only to live my life away from you.”

     “Alright,” Anakin nodded, “if that is what you want, then we will speak to the Council together and then return home as soon as we can.”

     “This is what I want,” he answered, “but what I don't want is to talk about the Council anymore.”

     “What do you want then?” Anakin asked, his tone playful, clearly already knowing exactly where this was headed.

     “I want to love you.” 

     “Then love me.”

     Obi-Wan closed the gap and slotted their mouths together in a heated kiss, wasting no time in pouring every ounce of love he could into it. He had come so close to losing Anakin, in more ways than just one. He had let Anakin be taken, and then in his desperation to get him back he had almost fallen to the dark side. He needed to feel Anakin more now than ever, needed to feel his skin against his own, know that he was really and truly there with him. That he was warm, and alive, and his once again. Never again would Obi-Wan ever let this slip from within his grasp.

     He slowly started walking them back to the bedroom, never moving his lips from Anakin’s, never taking his hands off his body. Eventually Anakin's legs found the mattress and Obi-Wan laid him back gently, moving them up the bed to rest his head back against the pillows. But still neither of them had made any attempt to let go of the other, nor did they want to. 

     But soon enough Anakin became impatient. Having Obi-Wan pressed against him, laying on top of him, his lips and tongue devouring Anakin's mouth, was just not enough. He needed to feel him, all of him, so reluctantly he pulled his lips away and tugged at the hem on Obi-Wan’s shirt. They quickly undressed, tossing shirts, pants, and everything else onto the floor, not caring where it landed, and finally they were pressed together again, completely skin to skin. 

     They took a moment to soak each other in, hands caressing each other's faces with a softness that spoke volumes to both of their fragile states. They were here, together, safe and in love, but still they were both terrified that in the blink of an eye it would all fall apart. That one touch to hard would shatter the glass beneath them and they would come crashing down to a harsh reality were they were ripped apart once again. A reality that neither of them would live through. But this, together as two halves of one whole heart, this was their perfection, it was where they belonged and it was where they both intended to stay.

     When Anakin finally opened his eyes, Obi-Wan was staring down at him with the most loving and tender look in his eyes, and it made Anakin's stomach flutter. He would never get tired of that look or the way it made him feel. Then Obi-Wan was moving closer, slowly closing the gap between them once again, but this time his lips landed on the long cut over Anakin's eye. He softly kissed it starting from the top, over his eye, and to the bottom, before moving back to kiss Anakin's lips once then hover over him again. 

     Then Anakin took his turn, lifting his shoulders slightly off the bed to tenderly run his lips over Obi-Wan’s left eye, the one that had changed to be half yellow during the fight, before pressing his lips together and pressing a feather light kiss to the lid. When he laid back down he left his hand on Obi-Wan’s cheek, smiling up at the love of his life hovering above him, and Obi-Wan turned his head into Anakin's palm. He kissed it, long, before turning back to look at Anakin while he held his hand against his cheek. 

     “I told you I would always love you, all of you, no matter what.”

     Obi-Wan could only smile at him as he whispered over and over again, “And I love you, Anakin, I love you so much,” while he pressed their chests together again and moved his lips to travel over every inch of Anakin's skin. 

     As he traveled down Anakin's body he whispered his mantra between every kiss to his skin, like a lifeline, letting it soak into Anakin with every arch of his body into Obi-Wan’s mouth. Anakin's hands found their way into Obi-Wan’s hair when he reached his cock, showing it the same treatment as he had given the rest of Anakin's body, then took it into his mouth. It took every ounce of Anakin's strength to keep himself from bucking fully into the heat of it, but Obi-Wan was taking no time in sucking Anakin's cock in as far as he could. 

     Anakin's hands tightened in Obi-Wan’s hair as he felt his cock hit the back of Obi-Wan’s throat, a chesty moan ripping from him. Then Obi-Wan’s fingers were grazing his lips and he sucked them in, lapping his tongue around them, coating them completely. When Obi-Wan pulled his fingers back, satisfied with Anakin's work on them, he laid back and awaited, knowing what was coming next. Slowly, one finger was pushed inside him as Obi-Wan hollowed his cheeks and sucked him in impossibly deeper. Soon after a second finger joined the first, and then a third, and by the time he was a moaning writhing mess on the very edge, Obi-Wan released his cock with a pop and crawled back up his body to hover over his already panting and wrecked form.

     He leaned down and nuzzled his nose against Anakin’s, the younger boy's hands still tightly wound in his hair as he held him close. “Are you ready, my love?” He whispered against Anakin's lips, feeling him nod against him. He reached one hand down between them, grabbing his own cock and lining himself up with Anakin, then slowly he pushed forward until he was completely inside him. 

     They both released pleasured sighs, finally being able to be one completed whole, all of it bringing about a whole new wave of feelings after both of them having come so close to losing each other. It was almost overwhelming, almost too much. Before Obi-Wan started moving, Anakin reached up and wrapped his arms around his neck and held his Jedi against his chest. 

     “Please, just…” He started, slotting his face against Obi-Wan’s, lifting his legs to wrap around his waist as well, “Can we just stay like this for a second?”

     “Of course,” Obi-Wan breathed and nodded, then reached a hand up to tuck a stray strand of Anakin's hair behind his ear.

     “I just came so close to losing you I thought… I thought that I would never be able to be with you like this again, that I would never be able to feel you, or love you again, and I-”

     “Shh, Anakin,” he soothed, kissing away the tear that escaped him, “I know, because I was worried too. But we are both here, both safe, and both together. Do not let it worry you any more, that threat has passed and nothing will ever part us again.”

     “I know,” he whispered, hugging him tighter, closer, nestling his head into the crook of his neck and breathing him in, “I just love you too much, even thinking of being without you again hurts.”

     “Well you don't have to ever think of it again,” he smiled against Anakin's cheek, trying to get his thoughts away from the what if’s, “we are going to be married soon, after which you will be officially stuck with me forever.”

     He managed to actually make Anakin laugh, a light chuckle escaping him as Obi-Wan moved to the side to suck a mark behind his ear. “Good, and once you're crowned I'll have you completely trapped.”

     Obi-Wan laughed too, abandoning his current mark to move back to kiss Anakin's lips. 

     Anakin melted into the long kisses, letting Obi-Wan’s lips and tongue attack him for as long as he wanted, while he took pleasure in the feeling of Obi-Wan being inside of him in more than one way. Before eventually he pulled back, just enough to say, “I'm ready, you can move now. But don't sit up, just stay here.”

     Obi-Wan shifted just a little, giving his hips enough room to pull back just a bit while still keeping himself firmly planted against Anakin's chest, then started a slow even rhythm. Anakin's hands moved to clutch desperately at Obi-Wan’s back, and Obi-Wan’s hands cradled Anakin's face as he pressed their noses together, their parted lips brushing against the others with each grind of Obi-Wan’s hips. Their panted breaths were forced into the others mouth, their tongues darted out to occasionally taste the other, hands roamed every inch of skin and tightened their holds in hair, their sweat slicked chests slid together. Neither of them dared part a single inch or lessen their hold on the other, for this time together seemed to mean so much more than any other time between them. As Obi-Wan had said, they were alive, and safe, and together, and Anakin knew that this was what their forever held for the both of them. He wanted no other future but this, just them, together, two halves of the same heart finally able to be whole.

     Anakin arched his back against Obi-Wan when one perfectly placed thrust had him almost tipping over the edge, lifting up to kiss Obi-Wan hard and let him swallow his moans as he relentlessly hit that spot over and over again. And he could feel Obi-Wan was just as much on the edge as he was, as his thrusts were becoming sporadic and uneven, the hand wrapped in Anakin's hair tightening even more as he got closer. 

     “Ah, Obi-Wan,” Anakin moaned and pulled back from the kiss, “come, Obi-Wan, come and I’ll be right behind you.”

     “Anakin-” He grunted, stuttering his hips only a few more times before he came, his hips stilled tightly against Anakin’s ass as a loud, “Oh!” was punched from his core.

     And Anakin was as he said, right behind him, moaning a continuous strung out mess of Obi-Wan’s name, and came between them, covering both of their stomachs in a warm sticky mess. 

     They both took their time coming down, catching their breaths while Obi-Wan collapsed his full weight on Anakin, his face tucked tightly into Anakin's neck, humming as he breathed in the scent that was all his dear one. They stayed together like that, Obi-Wan still inside Anakin, for the longest time, neither of them wanting to move. But eventually Obi-Wan did roll them over so he wasn't completely crushing Anakin, and still held him close against his chest, Anakin's head now tucked under his chin.

     “Are you alright, dear one?” He asked, running his fingers through Anakin's hair.

     He hummed contentedly against Obi-Wan’s chest, his own fingers playing with the tight red curls of his chest hair. “Perfect,” he answered, sounding half asleep already, “you know how much I love you, right?”

     “Of course I do, my love,” he said and hugged Anakin tighter against him to kiss the top of his head, “and you know how much I love you?”

     “I do.”

     Anakin sighed against his chest and Obi-Wan felt his body relax with the release of it, his limbs heavy against his own. “Go to sleep now, my love,” he whispered into Anakin's hair, but he was already long gone, and Obi-Wan was not far behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     When Anakin woke it was already sometime in the late morning. The sun was shining through the windows of Obi-Wan’s room, lighting strips across his face where it warmed him into wakefulness. But speaking of his beloved Jedi, Anakin was a bit confused when he rolled over, his arm seeking out Obi-Wan behind him, but found the bed empty instead. 

     He sat up quickly, now fully awake and seeking him out. A quick and fast rising shiver of panic shot through him, for a moment he worried that something had happened or gone wrong. Maybe someone had found out about them before they’d had the chance to explain, maybe the Council had called him away in the dead of the night, demanded he stay with the Order and leave Anakin, sent him away on a mission that he couldn't refuse. But just as soon as the feeling had risen it was quelled by a soothing sensation enveloping the bond, accompanied by a shouted, “I'm just out here, dear one!” and Anakin let go a breath he hadn't realized he’d been holding.

     He stood and wrapped the sheet around his still naked body, holding it tight around his shoulders, and found Obi-Wan sitting on the couch in the next room, also still naked. Though unlike Anakin he hadn't taken the time to bother covering himself in any way. 

     When Anakin walked over, Obi-Wan held out his arms and guided him to straddle his lap, his hands immediately running up and down the expanse of his back under the sheet as Anakin leaned down to give him a quick kiss. “How long have you been up?”

     “Not long,” he sighed, keeping Anakin's face close to his, “perhaps only ten minutes longer than you.”

     “You're worried.” Anakin stated, he could feel it.

     Obi-Wan nodded, “The closer and closer it gets to the meeting with the Council, the more I fear it will not go well.”

     “There is still time to change your mind,” Anakin reminded him again, “no matter what I will always be here, whether it's on Coruscant or Naboo.”

     “My mind has not changed, my love. Naboo is our home, and it is the only path that will allow us to live the free life we deserve to live. That is where I want to be. I just know they will be disappointed.”

     “They shouldn't be,” Anakin said, placing a hand on his cheek and rubbing his thumb soothingly, “this is your choice and they should respect it. If they don't, then it doesn't matter, because you will always have me, and Padmé, and you know that no matter what Qui-Gon will never be disappointed in you. What else matters after that?”

     “You are right, Anakin,” he smiled up at him, “I need nothing more than that. And I think we should just get this over with so that we can go home, put everything else behind us and move forward.”

     “I agree. What time are you supposed to meet Qui-Gon before we all speak with the Council?”

     Obi-Wan looked at the time and sighed, “In about twenty minutes. So unfortunately there is no time for me to do anything about the fact that you are currently sitting on me, naked and beautiful.”

     Anakin chuckled, then kissed him quickly again before pushing himself up to stand. “Let's get dressed then. And our ship back to Naboo isn’t leaving until tomorrow morning. So once the meeting is over you'll have all that time while we wait to do whatever you want to me, because as soon as we get back to this room later, my first kingly order is ‘no clothes shall be worn within the chambers’.”

     Obi-Wan jumped up and ran after Anakin, lifting him into his arms with a squeal of laughter and running into the room. “Let's make this meeting as brief as possible then!”

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

     Dressed and finally leaving Obi-Wan’s chambers, they quickly made their way through the halls of the Temple. Despite knowing that no matter what the Council had to say wasn’t going to change anything, Obi-Wan still felt the nerves creeping slowly through his body the closer they got to the Council's chambers. Though having Anakin beside him was a bit of a comfort, easing him slightly, and the fact that he had been holding Anakin's hands since the moment they left his chambers was also helping ease things. But as they walked through the halls, eventually coming to pass a few of Obi-Wan’s fellow Jedi who as they passed, eyed their clasped hands with odd looks.

     Anakin saw it, knew that Obi-Wan was being judged by people he had practically been raised with, his family, so he pulled his hand from Obi-Wan’s grasp just as they entered the elevator. 

     When the doors closed and they began their ascent to the Council, Obi-Wan turned to him. “What's wrong? Why did you let me go?”

     “I saw how those other Jedi looked at you,” he explained, eyes down, “they looked at you holding my hand and they were not impressed. You already have so much to deal with right now with the Council, I just don't want to make things any harder for you. I can keep to myself until we are back on Naboo, I don't want your fellow Jedi to push you away because of me.”

     “Anakin,” Obi-Wan breathed, closing in on him and placing a hand on his cheek, “I do not care. Let them see, I'm leaving the Order anyway, they might as well know it's because I fell in love with you.”

     “But…” He shook his head, holding Obi-Wan’s hand tightly against his cheek, “I just don't want to be a problem.”

     “You are not a problem, nor will you ever be,” he soothed, then reached down to take his hand again as they exited the elevator together, “let them all see us.”

     It wasn't long after they left the elevator that they made it to the doors to the Council's chambers, where they found Qui-Gon just about to step inside. They both picked up their pace, Obi-Wan calling out for his master to wait.

     “Master,” he said as they made it to where he was standing and waiting for them, “you were going to go inside without us?”

     “I requested a private audience with Master Yoda and Master Windu, before you and Anakin join us,” he explained, “I will make sure they understand everything fully before you both come inside.”

     “Master, please,” he reached out and grabbed his Master's arm, “we are ready to explain everything to the Council, allow us to join you.”

     Qui-Gon merely smiled and lifted his hands to Obi-Wan’s shoulders. “I told you I would handle this when the time came, and now is that time. Allow me to be your Master this one last time.” 

     He felt Anakin squeeze his hand gently and tug him back. He nodded to his Master, still a bit awestruck at his words, then watched him turn and walk into the Council’s chambers.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     After explaining everything, Qui-Gon stood before the Council, calmly awaiting their reactions. He had told them everything, starting with the bond that had formed between his younger Padawan and the boy Prince all those years ago, the growing of their bond while isolated on Naboo, the events on the Sith homeworld including Obi-Wan’s victory over the dark side, and Anakin's momentary embodiment of the Force. He then ended it with the announcement that Obi-Wan intended to leave the Order and marry his bonded Prince. So far they had remained quiet, though Qui-Gon wasn't so sure that was a good thing. 

     Windu was the first to speak, leaning forward in his chair and rubbing his chin while he shook his head. “Obi-Wan has broken one of our most sacred vows. Attachments and emotions are paths to the dark side, we all know this. Obi-Wan allowed himself both, completely aware of the consequences, and in the end he fell to the dark side.”

     “Yes, he did,” Qui-Gon nodded, “but in the end it was Anakin's love for him in return that helped Obi-Wan fight the dark side and return to the light. One could argue that it was attachment and emotion that was a path back to the Force.”

     Windu regarded him, sighing deeply as he pursed his lips, then Yoda added, “A good point, Master Qui-Gon makes. But forgive the disobedience, we still cannot. Married, Obi-Wan will not be.”

     “I do not think this is something you will deny him,” he shook his head, “Obi-Wan will not let Anakin go so easily again. If you deny him this, you will only face a continued disobedience.”

     “It goes against everything we stand for as Jedi,” Windu stepped in, “if we allow him this request, what message does it send to the others within the Order?”

     “I believe allowing such connections would only strengthen us, and I have witnessed this with my own two eyes. Anakin and Obi-Wan balance each other perfectly. Their love and happiness brings them both great strength, and though Obi-Wan fell to the dark side in order to save Anakin, at the same time he was able to restrain himself enough to only take in what he needed to defeat the Sith Lords, keeping the rest of the dark side at bay. And because of his attachment and need to be with Anakin, he was able to resist it and remove it from within his body. Without Anakin or their love for one another, my Padawan would not be with us right now.” Both Yoda and Windu were silent, and he could tell they were processing everything he had said to them. “If you allowed others within the Order to bond with another, with the same strength that is found in the bond Anakin and Obi-Wan share, I can assure you it will only enhance the Force that surrounds us all now, it will only make us better than we already are.”

     Windu shook his head quietly for a moment, before looking up at Qui-Gon with sorrowful eyes. “It cannot be done, we can't change our ways now, Qui-Gon.”

     “What if the Force demanded it?”

     “What do you mean?”

     “What if the Force itself demanded Obi-Wan and Anakin be united, and their bond allowed to remain and continue to grow?” He asked. “What if the Force itself wanted the change?”

     “More, you know?” Yoda asked, now leaning forward in his seat as well.

     “If the Force did not want this, it would have never allowed them to bond in the first place,” he explained, looking between both Masters as he did, “I have felt the Force around them, it pushes them together, it does not want them to be apart. We may never be able to fully understand it, but Anakin and Obi-Wan being united and allowed to remain together is what the Force wants, feel it for yourself if you must,” he turned and gestured toward the door behind him, “they are waiting just outside.”

     The two Masters looked to each other, a seemingly silent communication occurring between them, before Yoda hummed and turned back to Qui-Gon. “Feel it for ourselves, we shall. Call them in, will you?”

~~~~~~~~~~~

     “What is taking him so long?” Obi-Wan was on the edge of his seat where they waited outside the Council’s chambers. Qui-Gon had been in there for over an hour, almost two by this point, and Obi-Wan was only becoming more and more anxious with each passing second.

     Anakin reached over and placed his free hand, the one not still held in a death grip by Obi-Wan, on top of his rapidly bouncing knee. “I'm sure it's fine, he has a lot to explain to them after all.”

     “What if they are refusing him, refusing us? What if he's been in there this long because he's trying to convince them to let us be married, and it's not working?”

     “Qui-Gon is a very respected Jedi, I don't think they would just push him aside without hearing his reasoning for his request. And,” he smiled at Obi-Wan, leaning in a bit closer, “I have every confidence that if anyone can convince them that we should be together, it's Qui-Gon.”

     As they were about to lean closer and close the gap for a quick kiss, the doors to the Council chambers opened and Qui-Gon was asking them to come inside. Obi-Wan was both relieved that the seemingly endless private meeting was over, but at the same time extremely nervous that his and Anakin’s time before the Council had come. Especially since he couldn’t manage to decipher a single indication as to how the meeting had gone, his Master was keeping everything to himself it seemed.

     Just as he had expected, when they walked in, Obi-Wan was regarded with harsh and unnerving stares from both Masters. But he stood strong beside Qui-Gon, with Anakin at his side still holding his hand.

     Yoda hummed as they stood before him, closing his eyes and saying, “Feel what you speak of, I do, Master Qui-Gon. Feel it do you, Master Windu?”

     He too closed his eyes for a moment. “I do. It is a strong bond you both carry.”

     “Look deeper into the bond, I wish to do.” Yoda opened his eyes and looked to both Obi-Wan and Anakin. “Meditate with us, will you?”

     Obi-Wan nodded and dropped to his knees, tugging on Anakin's hand when he just stood there, not knowing what to do. “Come, Anakin, sit on your knees beside me.” He did, and then Obi-Wan whispered, “Just close your eyes and clear your mind.”

     He nodded and closed his eyes, Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Windu following right behind him, and the four of them sat there for what felt to Anakin like a lifetime. Before finally he heard Yoda hum and Obi-Wan squeezed his hand to let him know he could open his eyes again. Then he sat there for what felt like a second lifetime while the two Masters remained in silent contemplation, occasionally turning toward each other but never actually saying a word between them.

     Anakin could feel Obi-Wan’s anxiousness over it, and as much as he had been telling him over the last few days that all would be fine, he couldn't deny he was feeling it too. But then finally Master Yoda turned to them, his hands clutched over the top of his walking stick, regarding them with a very serious look.

     “Right, Master Qui-Gon is. Broken, this bond can never be.” The words sent a flood of relief through both of them, perhaps there was some hope still left. Then Yoda turned to Windu again. “Closer than marriage, the two already are.”

     Windu nodded, rubbing his chin again in thought. “It is true.” He looked past the two still kneeling on the floor and over to Qui-Gon behind them. “The Force is pushing them together, as you said, and that we cannot deny.” Then he sighed, sat back, and turned to Yoda once more. “It is a change we were not expecting, but we can't go against the Force's wishes.”

     “Agree with you, I do,” he nodded to Windu, then looked at Obi-Wan and Anakin and pointed to them, “blessed by the Council, this union shall be.”

     Both of them broke out in instant smiles, a little breathless and all together overwhelmed. “So you… you’ll allow us to be married then?” Obi-Wan asked.

     Yoda nodded again and actually smiled at them. “Allow it, we will. The will of the Force, it is. Congratulations on your nuptials, in order are.”

     “Thank you, Master Yoda!” Obi-Wan beamed as he stood and helped Anakin up with him, who also profusely thanked them as well.

     “Yes, congratulations to you both, it would seem the Force favors each of you greatly. You should be honoured.” He smiled at them as well. “Perhaps it was time for changes. And since we are allowing this, we had better be invited to the wedding.”

     “Of course!” Anakin nearly shouted, his joyous emotions getting a little bit away from him. “You will both be most welcomed to the wedding, along with any other Jedi who wish to attend.”

     They both bowed to the Masters then turned to leave, but Yoda quickly called Obi-Wan back for one last word before he would let one of his best and most cherished friends leave him. 

     “Yes, Master?” Obi-Wan asked when he turned back.

     “A good king to Naboo, you had better be. A fool of me, you will not make.” He pointed a finger at him in a warning way, but he was smiling at his friend as he said it. He knew Obi-Wan would not disappoint him.

     Obi-Wan smiled back, let go of Anakin's hand and walked over to kneel in front of Master Yoda. “I promise, I will not let you down, Master.” Then he lifted a hand to place over top of Yoda’s, the older Master placing his other over top of Obi-Wan’s in return. “After the wedding, you must visit us on Naboo. Our home will always be open to you.”

     “Visit you, I shall, and miss you, very much I will.”

     He smiled at his Master and friend, and feeling the tears starting to well in his eyes, took that as his sign to leave. 

     Once they were outside the chamber doors he let the tears freely flow, finally feeling relief after days of worrying. Not only was he free and able to openly be with Anakin, to marry his love, but they had been blessed by the Council, and by the sounds of it were the start of some great changes ahead for the Order. He had never been happier. 

     Overwhelmed by an explosion of joy within him, he turned and whisked Anakin into his arms, twirling him around while they both laughed and let a few tears fall between them. “Wait, wait,” Anakin said, patting Obi-Wan’s back so he would put him down, then turned to Qui-Gon who was watching them happily, “Master Qui-Gon, we owe you everything. Thank you for making our case and convincing them to let Obi-Wan and I get married.”

     “You don't have to thank me,” he waved Anakin off, “in the end it was your own bond that convinced them. I just nudged them in the right direction.”

     “Anakin's right, Master,” Obi-Wan stepped forward and pulled his Master into a tight hug, “thank you.”

     “You know I would do anything for you, Obi-Wan, for both of you.” He pulled back from Obi-Wan, thumbing away a tear that had stalled just above his beard, then stepped back. “Now, if you'll both excuse me, I have an appointment with the Queen. You two should head back up to Obi-Wan’s chambers and make sure you have everything prepared for the transport back to Naboo tomorrow morning. Oh, and congratulations to you both.”

     They watched him leave, then turned in the opposite direction to do just as he said and head back to Obi-Wan’s chambers. Though preparing for the transport home was the last thing on their mind. 

     “Dear one,” Obi-Wan chimed as he took Anakin's hand in his on their way back, “I know I am not yet a King nor am I a Prince, but… since I am to be a King soon enough, does this entail me to make kingly orders as well?”

     Anakin smirked, knowing exactly the track his mind was taking and shrugged, “I suppose. What is your kingly order then?”

     Obi-Wan smirked to himself then leaned in to whisper, “While your first kingly order entailed no clothes to be worn in the chambers, my first order shall be to decree that when we get back to my chambers and our clothes are off, I want you to ride me on the couch. Since you're sitting on my lap naked this morning, it has been the only thing I can think about.”

     A shiver quickly ran its way through Anakin's body, and an overpowering sensation of lust was sent both ways across the bond. Anakin gripped tighter to Obi-Wan’s hand and whispered back a very quick, “Agreed,” before tugging Obi-Wan through the halls at a run, this time not caring who saw them holding hands or giggling as they went.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Qui-Gon took the elevator all the way up to one of the highest floors within the Temple spires. It was never pleasant visiting the Pyre Room.

     When the doors opened Padmé was already there waiting for him, a strong look held over her features, though Qui-Gon could see the slivers of sorrow and grief slipping through. “Padmé,” he greeted, and she looked up to him, “my apologies for my lateness.”

     “It's no problem,” she answered softly.

     Not wanting to make her wait any longer or linger within her nerves, he asked, “Are you ready?”

     She just nodded, and allowed him to lead her further into the room with a hand on her back. They walked over to a door which Qui-Gon walked forward and opened for her, and she hesitated a moment to take a breath before walking inside. 

     She slowly wandered over to the table that was placed in the center of the room, covered in a long white cloth, and stood at the head of it. “This is him?”

     Qui-Gon nodded and walked forward to grab the cloth, but looked up at her before moving any further. “You're sure?” He asked, and when she nodded in confirmation, her eyes never leaving the table, he slowly pulled back the cloth revealing Gregar’s face.

     She took in a shuddering breath, eyes blinking furiously to fight back a sudden onslaught of tears. She reached out a shaking hand, slowly and ever so gently placing it over his pale cheek, recoiling at the chill of his skin. It wasn't unexpected, but it was still a shock. He was once so warm, so loving, so alive. Seeing him like this, it was an emptiness that she couldn't explain, that she knew would never leave her. He had left such a mark on both her and Anakin's lives, it was only right that her heart felt as shattered as it did right now.

     “When I saw him fall, back in the Senate,” she began, letting a few tears fall from her cheeks to blend in with Gregar’s hairline, “he died in my arms but seeing him here, now, and feeling how cold he is… it's like I'm being forced to finally accept the fact that he's gone, and it's so strange to think of how it will be now. He won't be by my side anymore, no longer will I hear his voice within the Palace or in my ear, giving me his own opinions on matters of diplomacy or politics, he won't be there to look after Anakin any more-” She choked back a sob, lifting a hand to her mouth to try and stifle it. “I can’t believe he's gone.”

     Qui-Gon walked over and pulled her into a hug. “He will be greatly missed, but you must know that he will always be with you. You must hold on to the good memories you have with him and cherish them always.”

     She nodded against his chest, then pulled back to wipe at her eyes before turning to stare down at Gregar again. “Anakin will struggle with this,” she said, “he wanted to come and see him, but I told him to wait. The funeral will be hard enough on him as it is, he was very close to Gregar.”

     “I know, and it was probably for the best that he didn't come. And myself and Obi-Wan will be there for the funeral, you will have the support of both of us.”

     “Thank you, Qui-Gon,” she gifted him a small appreciative smile, “I've contacted my Council members on Naboo, they've already begun the funeral arrangements. Everything will be ready when we arrive and the funeral will be held the next day.”

     “I will be there, as will several members of the Council.” She turned to him. “They wish to pay their respects to the man who helped defeat the Sith.”

     “That means a lot, and I know it would mean a lot to Gregar as well.” She leaned down and placed a gentle, almost nonexistent kiss on his head, leaving her lips close as she whispered, “Thank you, dear Gregar, for everything you did for us, and for saving Anakin. We will never forget you.”

     Qui-Gon gave her a few more moments of peace while she stood quietly over Gregar. When she was ready she nodded to him and he stepped forward to cover his face again, then he held his arm out for her to take and led her back to the elevator. 

     Once they were inside and on their way away from the Pyre Room, she squeezed his arm and asked, “How did the meeting with the Council go? Did they accept Obi-Wan and Anakin?”

     “They did, though not without some convincing, but they have agreed to let Obi-Wan leave the Order and have blessed his marriage to Anakin,” he smiled down at her, “they even insisted they be invited to the wedding.”

     She laughed, “Finally some good news, and they will be more than welcome at the wedding. I will even contact them personally with the invitation when the arrangements are made.”

     “They will be pleased,” he smiled. 

     When they made it to her chambers, she thanked him for everything before opening the door, then asked, “Will I be seeing you in the morning if you are to be accompanying us back to Naboo?”

     He nodded, “I will meet you here and escort you down to the hanger, we will meet Obi-Wan and Anakin at the transport, and the Jedi will bring Gregar.”

     “Thank you again, Qui-Gon,” she said as she turned and walked inside the room, “good night.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I know this is a bit of a longer chapter (though I’m sure no one’s complaining lol) but I wanted to keep their time on Coruscant all together in one chapter, and it made sense for chapters. Anyways, I hope it was enjoyed <3

Tags: @peaches-n-pancakes

[sergeantsporks]

Gilded Family

Rating: Teen and Up, Gen

Ch 23/?: Gameplan

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6 , Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17,  Ch 18, Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22

In which none of the previous golden guards or wittebro died, actually, they're all fine and living happily together as one big dysfunctional family

Ao3

Deep breaths.

Phoenix opened a door. “Terra. Glad you haven’t been turned into a puppet.”

“Hello, Rosebud. I see you’ve cooled down from your little tantrum. Here to get me to join your little owl house game?”

“Not quite yet. Where are the rest of the coven heads?”

Terra studied her nails. “I don’t know.”

Liar.

“Incredible. You lost them? The most senior of the coven heads didn’t keep track of her cohorts?” Phoenix shook his head. “I guess I came to the wrong place.”

She eyed him. “Adorable. Let’s cut to the chase and quit dancing around our objectives, shall we? You’re looking for allies. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have come to me. What are my options? What’s my standing right now?”

Equal exchange of information. Alright.

“You’re one option out of several to play the owl lady. The last one got turned into a puppet. High risk, high reward, Terra. If you get picked to play, you can get close to the Collector. But if you fail, you’ll lose everything.”

“Oh, are those the only stakes? I’ve been in that situation for fifty years now.”

“It’s not the same. You’re not dealing with an adult who has adult reason. You’re dealing with a child.”

“I’m excellent with children. Just look how you turned out.”

Hating your guts?

Phoenix shook his head. “With Belos, the blame and risk was spread out among coven heads. Now? It’s all concentrated. We need to get a scapegoat, maybe Graye?”

Wouldn’t hate seeing him turned into a puppet.

“You’re not fooling anyone, Rosebud.”

“I’m not trying to fool you.”

“You never were a good liar. You’re not looking for someone to spread the blame out, you’re looking for a coconspirator to plot with. One who isn’t a tiny dog thing.”

Phoenix kept his face still and neutral. “And you think you can be that partner?”

“Undoubtedly, but I’m certain you already have a particular abomination head in mind. One you’re fishing for information on. Like I said, you’re not fooling anyone.”

Right. One more card to play.

Phoenix took a step closer to Terra. He’d surpassed her in height a long time ago, and without her plants to stand on, she had to look up at him to meet his eyes. “I have the Collector’s ear. If I recommend you, he’ll loop you into the game. Is that something you want, or not?”

Her eyes glinted. “According to you, I’m safe here, but the game is a risk. What do you think?”

A vine grew out of the ground between them, pushing Phoenix back.

“You’re not the only choice I’ve got in this titanforsaken house. Make no mistake, I can find another ally. You’re rusty, Rosebud. And you were never had as good at keeping the coven heads in your pocket as your predecessor.”

Phoenix pushed the vine to the side. “Remind me which of us is a statue right now?”

Sorry, Petro.

“This isn’t the coven, Terra. The rules have changed, and you are not well adjusted to follow them. The Collector isn’t me, or any of the other kids you’ve taken interest in. He’s not going to be as easy to control as you think. If you want to stay free, I suggest you start following my lead.”

“I’ll take that under advisement,” she purred, “Best of luck finding Darius.”

Phoenix’s gut clenched at the direct mention of his name, but he pushed out of the room without another word. A dead end. Not that he’d ever wanted to team up with Terra, but it wouldn’t hurt to have her at the very least not trying to actively sabotage him.

“I’ll just find them myself.” He opened the door to the puppet room. “Titan, I hope he’s not in here.”

Phoenix left the door open for light, gingerly stepping over puppets left strewn all over the floor. One’s hand rolled under his foot, and he winced, crouching down to make sure it wasn’t broken. “Sorry.”

“They’re not conscious, you know.”

Phoenix’s spine stiffened. “Odalia.”

She dangled her pendant from one hand. “You appear to have misplaced this. Again.”

“Oh, no, how careless of me,” he replied flatly, “My mistake.” Phoenix snatched it out of her hand, but didn’t put it back on. “You don’t know that they’re not.”

She sighed. “If they’re conscious then that means that they are intentionally being difficult when I have to put them away. And I’m sure—” she punctuated her words with a kick at the nearest puppet’s arm, sending it clattering to the side. “—that they would never intentionally do something like that.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Oh, what do you care, Rosebud?”

Phoenix jerked backwards. “Terra.”

So that’s what she meant by a choice of allies.

This is not going to be a good duo.

“She’s a very interesting woman. Had quite the insight on you.”

“You can’t trust Terra or anything she says, Odalia.”

“Oh, so I suppose you’re not here looking for Darius, are you?” Odalia pushed another puppet to the side with her foot. “You know, I’m hurt that you didn’t come to me for help with this. I have more time to explore this place than you, always out on the Collector’s little games, and of course we share equal concern for Darius’ well-being.”

What.

“We share what now.”

Odalia sighed. “Oh, now I’m disappointed you don’t remember me.”

Don’t… remember…

Phoenix slammed the heel of his palm into his forehead. “Odalia. You’re—titan—you are… a lot bigger than I thought you’d be. As in taller. Like, older, not—I’m going to stop talking now.”

She crossed her arms. “Well, I may never have seen under that mask, but you don’t exactly look like a seventy-year-old man. You must tell me your skincare routine. I hope it doesn’t involve burning half of my face off. Not that the look doesn’t work for you, dear.”

“I cannot believe you stuck with Darius this long.”

“If you must know, he ditched me a few months after your… disappearance. Accused me of using him. But obviously I still care abou—”

“HA!” Phoenix barked, “Good for him! Okay, maybe I didn’t know you’d be like… this… when I told him to stay away, but am I glad I did.”

“When you did what.”

Phoenix shoved Odalia’s pendant at her. “We’re done. My answer is no. I hope you and Terra have a lovely time trying to get close to the Collector without me.” When she didn’t take the pendant, he dropped it, letting it clink to the floor. “I’ll find Darius without you.”

“You may not need me, but you do not want me as an enemy,” she warned as he pushed past her, “You will regret this.”

Phoenix growled, turning and taking slow, threatening steps towards her. “No, Odalia. You don’t want me as an enemy. I am giving you and Terra the choice to stay out of my way. Try me, and getting turned into a puppet will be the least of your worries.”

She was the first to break eye contact, stepping backwards. Phoenix took another step closer.

“I’m the one the Collector considers a friend. You’re just ‘Mamadalia.’ When it comes down to the two of us, I am the one who has his ear. Your word against mine. Who do you think he’ll trust? Last warning, Odalia. Try to edge me out and the Collector will hear a little something about how you think you can control him.”

Phoenix spun on his heel, marching out the door. Outside of the archive house, lightning flashed across the sky, and thunder cracked. Phoenix let out a long hiss, leaning against the wall.

“Okay. Oooookay.” The wounds on his arms throbbed in time with the angry tempo of his heartbeat, and he put one hand on his chest. “Take a breath, Phoenix. Cool down.”

I have got to get out of here before things get worse.

Unless…

Maybe the way Odalia was going about it was wrong, of course it was, she wanted to control all of the isles and manipulate the Collector to do her dirty work. But since he was here, and the Collector did listen to him, at least sometimes, would it be so bad to run damage control? Maybe get the Collector to release some of the puppets?

I should get Terra and Odalia out of the way for sure. They’re going to be trouble.

Phoenix patted his face, pacing to shake off the thoughts. “Whoa,” he said firmly, “No. We’re finding Darius, saving Eda and Lilith, and then—”

“Heyo, Phoenix!” Collector pounced on his back, clinging to him. “We’re having an inside adventure today!”

Phoenix staggered under the weight with a little ‘oof,’ but readjusted quickly. “An inside adventure?”

“Yeah, it’s raining! Mortals like you have to stay indoors! Plus, we never have inside adventures. Inside can be fun. Just not toooooooooooo inside.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Nothing too fancy. Oh, I saw people play this one alllllllllllll the time, c’mon, c’mon! To the stairs! King’s waiting!”

Phoenix backtracked through the hallways to the main entrance. He shot a questioning look to King, who made an ‘I don’t know’ gesture in response. Collector’s legs kicked back and forth, and Phoenix let him down.

“We are going to have.” Collector inhaled deeply. “A tea party! Don’t worry, Phoenix, Terra isn’t invited. No poison tea.” He clapped his hands, and a china set appeared in the air. “And we are going to have our tea party iiiiiiiiin zero gravity!”

Phoenix’s feet lifted off of the ground, and tea started to drift out of the pot. “Whoa—Uh—” He clung to the stairs. “I don’t think—tea parties—are like this—”

Collector soared over, prying Phoenix’s fingers off of the railing. “But it’s more fun!”

Phoenix winced as his index finger popped under the Collector’s pressure and finally let go. “Ooookay.”

Collector pointed at the teapot, and the liquid splashed back in. “Geeze, okay, some gravity. Or else we’re not going to be able to drink this.”

Phoenix examined his knuckle, gingerly popping it back into place.

Right. I forgot that he flicked Uncle through the wall. I’m lucky he didn’t strangle me trying to get a piggyback ride. Or rip my hand clean off just now.

Phoenix kicked off of the stairs, grabbing a teacup for cover and soaring towards King. “How’re things going on the Eda front?”

King glanced at the Collector. “Well, I—”

“You know what would make this more fun?” Collector clapped his hands. “More friends!”

In a puff of smoke, puppets appeared. Graye’s face loomed in front of Phoenix’s, and he kicked out, connecting with the puppet’s chest and sending it flying. The force of the push sent him tumbling backwards.

“Ack!” Phoenix put out his arms to steady himself, noting symbols decorating each of the puppets.

Illusion. Healing. Potions…

Phoenix’s eyes landed on a purple cloak and his stomach churned at the sight of usually-shifting hair that had gone stiff and still.

Darius.

Something tugged on his sleeve. “Phoenix? Hey, Phoenix, buddy... You with me?”

Phoenix’s eyes moved slowly to King, who was tugging on his sleeve.

“Yes,” Phoenix’s voice said, “I’m with you.”

“You, uh. You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I’m fine,” his voice continued from far away, “Would you like some tea?”

How do I save him?

Can he even turn back?

What if…

When the tea party was over, the puppets disappeared. Phoenix drifted towards the hallway, thoughts stuck in an endless loop of “save him” “how?!”

“Phoenix!” King called, running after him, “I’ve got something to—”

“Do you know where the coven head puppets are?”

“Usually they guard the owl beast. Eda’s kept on the other side of the archive house, but about that—”

“Thanks. Keep the Collector from looking for me?”

“Yeah, okay, I will, but Phoenix—”

Phoenix ran down the hallway, his boots creating heavy thuds that echoed through the house like a heartbeat.

Thump

Thump

Thump

A row of puppets stood before an iron cage, lifeless.

“Darius?” Phoenix whispered, “Can you hear me?” He reached out, his fingers stopping just shy of the puppet’s face. “Titan. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I should have been there, I should have—I should have—I should have told you. I should have told you I was alive. We could have—we could have faced him together, we could have come up with a different plan, we could have done something.”

Phoenix’s hand dropped down to his side, heart twisting in his chest. “Or… maybe I would have just been a distraction. Maybe I would have just made things… complicated. You got pretty far without me. Maybe I would have made it worse.”

I probably would have made it worse.

Phoenix’s hands curled into fists, shaking. “I’m going to make it up to you. I am. I’ll explain everything, I’ll tell you what happened—I’m going to fix this. Somehow.”

“Holy mother of apple blood!” a voice yelped, “Lily, get out here, the golden nerd went through the world’s biggest growth spurt!”

Phoenix jumped, a flush spreading across his face. How much did—

“Wait,” he blurted, “People. Not puppet people. Not Odalia or Terra not puppet people!”

A woman with a poof of grey and white hair peered around the puppets. Her eyes were black voids dotted by glowing yellow irises, and feathers floated in her wake. “Heya, nerd, you look more beat up than usual. And bigger. Ah, wait—” she snapped her fingers (of her only hand, Phoenix realized). “You’re the Phoenix guy! I know your…” she waved a hand around for a minute. “…smaller you,” she finished, “Sort of. In passing. King told us about you! Man, that resemblance is uncanny.”

Her voice was uncanny, seeming to echo inside of her chest and vibrate with raw force, like a wild animal’s howl.

Another woman stepped delicately out of the iron cage, adjusting a pair of huge round glasses. “Edalyn, stay inside, we don’t know… if he’s…”

Her jaw dropped, and she fumbled her way into attention, snapping a perfect scout’s salute. “Gol—sir! You’re—you’re—”

Phoenix hissed in. “I’m… sorry… if I’m supposed to know…”

She let out a high-pitched nervous giggle. “Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn’t expect you to remember me, I was hardly a scout when you… I never introduced… my goodness.” She nudged ‘Edalyn.’ “Show some respect. He is the golden guard—the one before… the real golden guard.”

“Um…” Phoenix scratched the back of his head, the tips of his ears burning. “Please don’t—it’s fine. Phoenix is fine. I’m not… hi?”

Edalyn gave him a mock salute. “Alright, then. Hi, Phoenix. I’m Eda. This is Lilith.”

“Oh. Ohhhhh, King—you’re not a puppet! Or an owl beast!” Phoenix knuckled his forehead. “That’s what he was trying to tell me.”

Eda waved her hand. “Surprise! Lilith got transformed last night, and she brewed an elixir that turned me back this morning.” She coughed, and a feather floated out of her mouth. “Mostly.”

“I’m working on it,” Lilith insisted.

Phoenix seized Lilith’s hands. “How did you turn back?! Can you do it to other people?!”

“Oh…” Lilith extracted one hand from his grip, patting his fists. “I didn’t transform myself back. King just… convinced the Collector to turn me back. I’m sorry.” She glanced around the hallway. “Why don’t you come inside? Odalia prowls around here sometimes, and I don’t want her to see Eda.”

“Of course she does.”

Phoenix followed Lilith and Eda into the cage and a spacious cave beyond. “Wow. I’ve never… been this far over.”

Eda chuckled. “Well, based on what King told Lilith and Lilith told me, you’ve been getting knocked around for the last couple weeks. Belos, and then a slitherbeast, not to mention running around playing the Collector’s games—I’m not surprised you haven’t explored this whole house. I’m impressed you’re even still standing. You’ve got the world’s worst luck, kiddo.”

Lilith’s face twisted up as if in pain at the nickname. “Yes—well, King also says you’ve been working on a plan to get everyone out. We’re pretty strapped for ideas ourselves, so. Any input welcome.”

Eda shook her head. “The biggest problem is that we’re on constant surveillance. You two with the Collector, and Lily and I with those puppets.”

“I’m mostly worried about the drop. I’ve done some mapping of the area, and I think I can find my way out of the Collector’s playground, but getting down from the archive house to the ground safely is… going to be an issue.”

“Oh!” Lilith scrambled through her pockets, finally pulling out a notepad and pencil. “I can help with that.” She drew a glyph, handing the paper to him. “This will slow your descent, but only for a few moments, so be sure not to use it until you’re close to the ground. As long as you’re touching King, it will save both of you.”

Phoenix tucked the paper into his pocket, heart thumping wildly in his chest. A way out. A sure way to get out, one that doesn’t risk a deadly fall.

“What’s your plan for once you get out?” Eda asked. Her eyes moved over him in quick, sharp moments, “Where will you go?”

“I know a house. The people there… I haven’t seen them here, so I’m assuming they found a way to hide themselves from the Collector. We should be safe there, if we can make it. I think King and I can make up a game where we get a head start and we can get far enough from the Collector, but the puppets won’t be so easily distracted. We’ll have to find a way to lure them away from here—or to free them. Preferably to free them.”

Lilith and Eda glanced at each other, then back to Phoenix.

“I want you to just get him out of here,” Eda announced, “You focus on that.”

“What about you? What about Darius?”

“We’d… like… to free our friends and to escape,” Lilith admitted, “But… we want King to be safe most of all. And I’m sure Darius would want you to be safe.”

Phoenix spluttered. “I—you—are you sending me away?!”

“You are the only one of us who can leave the archive house without the Collector suspecting something! You’re the only one of us who knows where this safe house is, and, quite frankly, injured or not, I think you may be the most capable of getting him out of here safely—at least at this moment in time.”

“Then let’s wait,” Phoenix urged, “We can come up with a more solid plan, we can work on freeing some of the others…”

Eda shook her head. “Absolutely not, I’m not leaving King in danger a second longer than I have to.”

Phoenix took a deep breath. “What if I said… King and I aren’t in any real danger? Not for now, at least. The Collector is… not harmless, I won’t say that, but for now, he’s not going to hurt King or I. Not intentionally.”

“We still have to worry about that unintentional,” Lilith piped up, “And what if his mood changes? No, King needs to go somewhere the Collector can’t find him.”

“Collector won’t stop looking,” Phoenix warned, “He’ll try to hunt us down.”

“Do you want out of here or not?”

“I want out. I’m just wondering if this is more of a long game than a short-term problem.”

Lilith’s eyes widened just a bit, but just as quickly, her expression shifted back to a neutral one. “Phoenix, it’s… it’s not a game, whatever the Collector pretends. It’s not the coven.”

“What? I know, I’m just wondering if we could do some go—”

“No, Phoenix, listen. There’s not a way to win this if we stay, we’re just delaying the inevitable. The way we win this is by getting away, and figuring out a way to eliminate the threat. If we play this the way we played Belos’ game, we’re only going to get killed. He can’t be controlled, and he can’t be reasoned with.”

“I know he can’t be controlled, I don’t want to control him, I just…” Phoenix’s hands opened and closed helplessly, “There’s got to be a way to get everyone out of this. And I don’t want to leave until I’m sure that saving our allies is impossible.”

Lilith and Eda glanced at each other again. “Let us figure that out,” Eda said firmly, “Let us work on a way to save the puppets. But I will feel a lot better about it if I know King is safe and out of the line of fire.”

“And what about King? Do you really think he’s going to be okay with leaving you?”

Eda sighed. “No. But we have to try. Phoenix. Listen. I’m counting on you, alright? I’m counting on you to get him out of here, no matter what. I need you to protect him.”

“Jason. I need you… I need you to protect them.”

Titan. It’s not fair that King’s caught up in this. It’s not. I know I’d want him out.

Phoenix glanced back at the entrance to the cave. “Promise me that you will look out for Darius.”

Eda nodded. “I will.”

“And… if you can unpuppetify him, will you tell him—”

“You’ll tell him yourself,” Lilith interrupted, “Just get my nephew out of here.”

“I will.”

Eda sighed, seeming to deflate with her exhale. “Thank you.”

Phoenix gave her a nod and left, checking both ways for Odalia before heading back out and towards the main entrance to the archives.

Maybe… maybe I could leave King with Caleb and Evelyn, and then come back for Darius.

If they let me.

They have to let me.

But would the Collector buy it if I told him I just got lost? Would he take me back?

Collector floated in front of him, hanging upside down. “Heya, Phoenix. Where’d you go?”

“Oh. Kiiiiiiitchen?”

“Huh, were there not enough snacks at the tea party?”

“No, it was fine. I was juuuuuust… washing the dishes?” Phoenix took a deep breath.

Here we go.

No going back.

“Hey… Collector? How would you feel about playing a new game?”

[rabbitechoes]

so many great singles dropped this month!! 2024 is shaping up to be a rlly exciting year for music. plenty of interesting projects are coming within the next few months and the singles accompanying them have me setting my hopes super high. here are my thoughts on some of the most notable singles & songs from the month!!! to check out my thoughts on some of the albums, EPs, and mixtapes that came out this month click here!!! since three noteworthy artists dropped singles like right after i posted this i made an add-on post here!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

"Turn the Lights Back On" - Billy Joel

◇ genres: piano rock, singer-songwriter

The way they hyped up Billy Joel's performance of his first single in over 30 years at the Grammy awards earlier this month ironically described why I'm not crazy about the track. The way it was framed in the video, and how I perceive the situation given the song itself, was that Freddy Wexler consistently pushed Joel to get back into the studio until finally Joel conceded. It was played up for laughs, but this song really does sound like a "please, will you get off my back" kind of thing. I don't know, it's fine. I feel like an asshole pooh poohing on a new single from Billy Joel, but it just feels so unnecessary. I doubt this will lead into a full album. Likely, the Piano Man will continue to sell out Madison Square Garden multiple times a year and play the songs everyone actually wants to hear. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Burning Down the House" - Paramore

◇ featured on Everyone’s Getting Involved: A Tribute to Talking Heads’ Stop Making Sense (not yet released) ◇ genres: new wave, pop rock

Paramore have provided the lead single for the new Stop Making Sense tribute album being headed up by A24 Music. It's a decent cover. The band can't really capture the frenetic, weird energy of the original, but that is an impossibly high task. Judging by some of the other artists involved in this project, this might be the best we get. I don't wanna be a hater because I'm hopeful this project might introduce more people to one of the greatest live albums, concert films, and bands of all time, but we shall see! listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Floating on a Moment" - Beth Gibbons

🥇 SONG OF THE MONTH

◇ featured on Lives Outgrown - Beth Gibbons (not yet released) ◇ genres: chamber folk, psychedelic folk, singer-songwriter

Beth Gibbons releasing a new solo album wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, but holy shit I'm so excited. Her feature on Kendrick Lamar's Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers nearly 2 years ago really got me excited to hear more new stuff from her and "Floating on a Moment" was exactly what I needed. This song is so good. Gibbons' voice is obviously fucking incredible, that goes without saying, but this sound suits her so well. That chorus is one of the best things I've heard this year so far. The twinkling guitars paired up with her vocals feels like you're ascending to a higher plane of existence. Not to mention that refrain at the start of the outro!!! What a lead single and what a comeback for one of the most distinct vocalists of all time. Can't wait for the full album. Ranks highly among my most anticipated albums of the year so far. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Dreamfear" | "Boy Sent From Above" - Burial

◇ genres: breakbeat hardcore, electro

Not entirely sure if this is an EP or a single, but I'm gonna throw it on here anyway. London electronic artist Burial is back with his first release for the XL label. 2 over 10 minute tracks that are pretty cool! My knowledge about Burial's sound isn't super expansive, I've only heard Untrue, but there's some really cool sounds here. Of the two tracks, "Boy Sent From Above" is probably my favorite. I love the more atmospheric vibe to it. The drops are really satisfying too. I'll try to revisit this again once I'm more familiar with Burial's work, but I still enjoyed these songs a good bit. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud (not available) YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"RiTchie Valens" | "Dizzy" - RiTchie

◇ featured on Triple Digits [112] - RiTchie (not yet released) ◇ genre: experimental hip hop

RiTchie, formerly of Injury Reserve and currently half of By Storm, has released his first two solo singles and is teasing a new upcoming project. I was a bit surprised by this because I assumed we would be getting some kind of By Storm project first after they released "Double Trio" late last year. This single is also a big change of pace compared to the tone of what they've been doing. Here, RiTchie is playful throwing out confident bars over a shimmering beat. The little "RiTchieeee, RiTchieee's" throughout the song are so silly too. The second single "Dizzy" is even better. It only dropped a couple days ago, but I can't stop listening to it. Alongside its release, RiTchie officially announced his first solo project coming in April. We're in for a real treat. listen here: "RiTchie Valens" Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud (not available) YouTube "Dizzy" Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud (not available) YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Butterfly Net" - Caroline Polachek & Weyes Blood

◇ featured on Desire, I Want to Turn Into You Everasking Edition - Caroline Polachek ◇ genres: art pop, new age

Caroline Polachek has released a deluxe edition of Desire, I Want to Turn Into You this month and it features a host of new tracks. One of them being this reworking of "Butterfly Net" featuring Weyes Blood. The original wasn't my favorite on the album, but this reworking has made me appreciate it a bit more. These two have really powerful vocals and they play off of each other very well. I haven't gotten the chance to listen to all of the new tracks from the deluxe version, but if they're as good as this then I'm excited. I also should probably revisit the whole album itself sometime soon. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"16 Carriages" | "Texas Hold 'Em" - Beyoncé

◇ featured on Act II - Beyoncé (not yet released) ◇ genre: country pop, country soul, contemporary country

Beyoncé surprise dropped two singles during the Super Bowl and announced the follow-up to her amazing 2022 album RENAISSANCE. While that album was focused on celebrating dance and house music as well as the black and queer pioneers of those genres, Act II seems to be trying to do the same for country. "16 Carriages" is the clear highlight here and Beyoncé feels right at home with this sound. Love the way she leans into the country soul side of things and I hope we get more of that on the album. "Texas Hold 'Em" is a bit rowdier, but it's the weaker of the two. I love the instrumentation though, for both tracks actually. Perhaps the best thing about "Texas Hold 'Em" is that it finally knocked Jack Harlow's boring, uninspired "Lovin On Me" off the number 1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100. I'm hoping it'll grow on me when it's in the context of the full album. I'm super excited to see where she can take this sound. listen here: "16 Carriages" Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube "Texas Hold 'Em" Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Capricorn" | "Gen-X Cops" - Vampire Weekend

◇ featured on Only God Was Above Us - Vampire Weekend (not yet released) ◇ genres: indie pop, chamber pop

I was a massive Vampire Weekend fan when I was in high school. I was listening to Modern Vampires of the City almost every day, I was obsessed. I would be lying if I said they were something I "grew out of" because these new singles really hit the spot for me. "Capricorn" sounds like a darker take on what the band was doing on a lot of Father of the Bride, leaning into some of the more psychedelic and folkier sounds. "Gen-X Cops" is more reminiscent of their earlier work, but still has a more mellow and introspective slant to it. Love the almost surf-rock sound at the start of it. Both tracks dive into themes of aging and Koenig makes some pretty poignant observations. Really excited for the new album! listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Training Season" - Dua Lipa

◇ genres: dance-pop, disco

I loved Dua Lipa's Future Nostalgia and it even made it into my top 5 albums of 2020 (don't go back on my rym and look at the list, i'm embarrassed at my writing from that time). I was super excited about whatever Lipa would drop next and it looks as if she's building up to a new project probably sometime this year. "Training Season" follows "Houdini" and I feel the same sense of apathy for the latter that I do the former. Neither are bad by any means and the production work by Kevin Parker on these singles is stellar, but it just feels like something is missing. Lipa still sounds like a star, but these hooks just don't grab me like some of her singles from a few years ago. Again, neither "Training Season" or "Houdini" are bad songs, but I'm just having a hard time getting into them. Hopefully they grow on me in the context of a full project. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Saturn" - SZA

◇ featured on LANA - SZA (not yet released) ◇ genres: neo-soul, alternative r&b

I'm not up to date on the SZA lore, but when this dropped I saw people saying that it was "finally on streaming" so I guess this song has been around for a bit. I think it's the lead single for SZA's LANA album, which is a reissue of SOS ... uhhhh I don't know this is very confusing to me. What I am sure of, is that SZA can make a damn good song. "Saturn" is further proof of that. This feels like a cut from CTRL and I love it. It has this hazy, dream-like production with SZA's distinct vocal style that sounds like she's bouncing along the beat. Really great stuff. I'm still not sure what LANA is, but as long as we get some more great songs I'm not gonna complain! listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Fool" - Adrianne Lenker

◇ featured on Bright Future - Adrianne Lenker (not yet released) ◇ genres: indie folk, singer-songwriter

Another excellent single from Adrianne Lenker ahead of her new album coming next month. "Fool" is a lot shorter and sounds a lot more upbeat than "Sadness As a Gift" from last month, but it still has Lenker's signature writing style. It feels like ever since Songs she's just on an unstoppable role. I thought the well might've run at least a little dry following Big Thief's incredible double album from two years ago, but that's quickly been proven not to be the case. I'm not sure if this new album will be better than Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You, but it certainly has the potential to be Lenker's best solo project. Definitely one of my most anticipated albums of the year, can't wait to listen. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Hand On Me" - Nourished by Time

◇ featured on Catching Chickens - Nourished by Time (not yet released) ◇ genres: chillwave, synthpop

I listened to Nourished by Time's last album Erotic Probiotic 2 in like December of last year and I was so blown away by it that it ended up almost cracking my top 10 favorite albums of the year. It seems like he's not slowing down either, announcing that he has signed to XL and dropping this new single alongside a new EP coming next month. "Hand On Me" is brilliant. Taking his unique vocal style and throwing it alongside some dreamier production is a match made in heaven. Coming off his last album, I said that Nourished by Time is an artist that you NEED to keep your eyes on and this new single proves me right! Can't wait for the new EP. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Life Is" - Jessica Pratt

◇ featured on Here in the Pitch - Jessica Pratt (not yet released) ◇ genres: brill building, singer-songwriter

The first time I listened to Jessica Pratt was around the time her last album Quiet Signs dropped. I ... wasn't crazy about it. Pratt's unique vocal delivery just didn't resonate with me and I just never revisited it. That was until earlier this month when I, at the behest of my partner, revisited both that album and the two that came before it. I get it now! I was wrong, she's really good! Then like a week later she teases this new single ... perfect timing. This is an interesting new direction for Pratt, sort of ditching the folk of her previous work and instead turning to brill building. The pairing of Pratt's voice and this sound are so satisfying. It's like hearing a forgotten hit from like 1965 only with a bit bit of a more modern, dreamier sound. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"I'm a Man" - Kim Gordon

◇ featured on The Collective - Kim Gordon (not yet released) ◇ genres: industrial hip hop, trap, noise rock, witch house

Kim Gordon's new album is coming out in a few weeks and this month she released another insane sounding single leading up to it. "I'm a Man," like the previous single, has Gordon experimenting with hip hop and trap in a surprisingly ... great way! She mixes those sounds with some noise rock which we all know Gordon fits in like a hand in a glove. The lyrics here are a bit more substantial than the other single as well. The way she sings "come on, Zeus, take my hand" is just so fucking cool. I'm so hyped for The Collective and it's so cool that an Kim Gordon is still experimenting this deep into her legendary career. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"The Invisible Man" - Maruja

◇ genres: post-rock, post-punk, art rock

Following an amazing EP and a string of great singles in 2023, Manchester post-rock band Maruja have returned with their first release of 2024. They're in a really interesting spot right now because they've been dropping some really great stuff without having a debut album to their name. All eyes, at least in pretentious music spheres, are on them. This new single, "The Invisible Man," is certainly no different and its one of their best tracks to date. The instrumentation here is unreal, especially the saxophone parts. I'm a sucker for a post-punk band with a saxophone. Maruja are great at building tension in their songs and that's no different here. Everything just feels very anxious and when the climax finally comes it feels so earned. Their lyricism has also continued to impress me. I'm not sure if this new single means a debut album is on the way sometime this year, but I sure hope it does. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Doves" - Armand Hammer

◇ featured on We Buy Diabetic Test Strips - Armand Hammer ◇ genres: experimental hip hop, abstract hip hop

billy woods and Elucid have seemingly reissued their amazing album from last year with this incredible new bonus track "Doves." A slow-burning near 9-minute track featuring vocals and guitar from Benjamin Booker. The track begins with some soft guitar over this ambient noise with twinkling pianos interspersed within it. Booker's hushed vocals almost force you to pay attention to them. There isn't as much rapping on this song as you would expect, but when the verses do come in they lack the fire we've come to expect. In a good way, I might add. The noisy ambience gets harsher and harsher as we reach the end of the song. It's almost unnerving. They manage to make you feel so many emotions in just this one track. I've only had a couple days to sit with it, but "Doves" is really great. One of the most experimental tracks these guys have ever put out and it pays off. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading <3

[nebulouscoffee]

Ok for the series ask game thingy I shall ask you… TNG and Enterprise

Ooh, this should be fun! Thank youuu :D

TNG

Favourite character: ahh this is legitimately hard! I love all the main seven leads so much. Maybe Deanna? I think she's heaps more interesting and complex than she comes across at first glance- I love her difficult relationship to her Human and Betazoid halves, I love her complicated dynamic with her mom, her state of cultural drift, her very nebulous sense of self that she's always just a little too afraid to confront head on, her compassion, her self-awareness, her warmth, and of course her occasional barbs that just never miss

Second favourite character: gosh this is even harder!! I feel like it's either Data or Geordi, but then I remember Worf. I adore Worf... but then there's also Beverly.... Okay, okay, I'm reasonably sure it's Data. I just really love his arc, his multifaceted relationships with the other characters, and the complexity of the questions his existence and chosen life raise. Some of the series' best episodes are centred around him. Not much else to say- I just love the guy! (And I am laughing so hard picturing your face while reading this. Sorry Fancy! Lmao... Unfortunately I am a Data girlie😂)

Least favourite character: uhhh maybe that Okona guy from 'The Outrageous Okona', I haven't actually rewatched that episode in sooo many years and I think he might be why haha (also every single guest character in 'Code of Honour' though that's not so much a case of me hating them as wishing the writers had never come up with them)

The character I'm most like: None of them!! They all joined the space military lmao I would never join the space military!! Also they're all very smart, like top-of-their-fields smart. TNG where is the representation for us mediocre dumbasses. I demand more mediocre dumbasses on the Enterprise! (OKAY if I had to pick, it would probably be Geordi but only when he's goofing off- or Riker when he's rejecting a promotion so that he can remain with his besties)

Favourite pairing: Beverly and her lamp🥰 okay, okay, Troisha from the non-canon ships, Troi/Riker from canon

Least favourite pairing: Deanna/every man she was ever sent to single episode romance hell with, special shoutout to that one dude from 'The Price' for making me watch that looooong as hell foot massage sequence *strained laughter*

Favourite moment: Gonna be a cliche and say that poker scene from the finale. Yup, they actually managed to end the show on... my favourite scene from the whole show. Good job, TNG! (If I'm being honest it's everything from the climax with the three Enterprises working together to Q's line on how exploration is not about conquering or charting territory but discovering new depths of the soul (good stuff👌) and the gang vowing not to let themselves drift apart like they did in that possible future. This is where TNG ended in my heart tbh! Every other appearance is like schrödinger's canon to me; it's canon when I need it to be, and fanfic generally lol

Rating out of 10: Objectively, it's a 7.5/10 from me. Its highs are SO high, but its lows are just so hilariously low- it had a rough start, there's no getting around that, and it's frequently clueless about the inherent imperialism and colonialist undertones of its premise, plus it almost never lets its female characters shine the way they deserve to. However this show also turned my life around so it gets a 100/10 by the power of the blorbolense😌 thank you for existing TNG!

Enterprise

Favourite character: Hoshiiii we love an overworked gifted child prodigy who grew up learning to speak soooo many languages but never had anyone to talk to, only now learning to relax and make friends and figure things out as an adult on the ship of the unhinged

Second favourite character: I mean it's gotta be T'Pol! She is far and away the most interesting character on the show imo, and despite the constant terrible horrible so-bad-it's-funny attempts to objectify her she manages to surpass the material and contain so much depth. She's an alien among humans and a deeply scandalous weirdo and pioneer among her own people, and I love her struggles navigating those two spheres throughout the show <3

Least favourite character: the ever-present air of post-9/11 military propaganda. And if you're going to argue that that's not an actual character on the show, I beg to differ. Straight up had more lines than Travis Mayweather!

The character I'm most like: Maybe Phlox? I'm not much like anyone on this show honestly, but in general he's a chilled out dude just doing his own thing. I feel like that's me right now

Favourite pairing: T'Poshi hell yeah!!! I know the characters barely interact in canon but it really is actually that deep you guys. I love it! For some reason all my favourite ships seem to involve these eager young super smart friendly compassionate officers falling for much older buttoned-up aliens who are obviously culturally isolated, and then connecting in a way that reveals the older alien (who might have a drug problem) is actually a social outcast in their own society whose superiority they won't shut up about and the younger officer actually has a more complicated relationship to their culture than first apparent thanks to an overbearing family, and they are strikingly similar shades of lonely. Hmmm....

Least favourite pairing: I don't think I have one lol! I don't feel strongly enough about any of the canon pairings and fanon ships don't affect me because I don't really engage with that side of Enterprise fandom (not saying this like a snobby thing, I'm sure it's great! I'm just not interested enough in this show that way hehe)

Favourite moment: T'Pol's speech standing up for the crew to the Vulcan High Command stands out in my memory... I'd probably have to rewatch to answer this question properly tbh

Rating out of 10: gonna be generous and overlook the nightmare of its place in history and all the ensuing xenophobia baked into its very premise and give it a solid 6/10. These characters deserved to come into their own, and the show is often good fun!

[comicavalcade]

Submariner Summer 17

You know what it is, folks, time for part 17 of #SubmarinerSummer read through, Tales to Astonish #84: Like A Beast At Bay! A fun cover of Namor bursting onto the scene towards the reader that sneaks in some Hulk, but still references a scene actually in the book. Nicely done

Title page is interesting too, though a bit marred by them putting the big yellow recap box front and center on the page. Back to Lee and Colan as creative team, but with Dick Ayers on inks, and he certainly isn't sparing on ink in this issue. Also, dig that haberdashery!

Of course with Hulk on the loose, the authorities are on high alert looking for him, and with that many eyes around they inevitably find Namor, who's not at all at his best. So now the chase is on for them both

But running from cops isn't getting Number One what he wants, so he commands Namor back to the streets and to get inconspicuous. So...Namor busts into a clothing store.

Folks, this is something notable right here. PROOF Stan Lee *knew* that sometimes its better to just let the art tell the story. Plus, Namor putting clothes *on*. Will wonders never cease. (also, boooo Namor with clothes *on*)

...and then of course, Stan Lee gets bored with that and its "talk time again" 😅 The cop manages to knock himself out shooting at Namor, and off Namor goes leaving him behind. Gotta agree with Number One on this one; let the cops worry about the cops

Soon Namor stumbles upon a theater showing newsreels of Hulk in action; I hadn't realized newsreels had still been a thing at that point. At any rate he wanders in to see, and seeing Hulk almost jogs a memory, but even fogged up Namor's sure no one is better than him 😆

Folks, what we have here is a genuine superhero truther; people just really never change, and comics have always seen it. I'm sure if they'd kept going they'd say how super-powers are all some plot the commies cooked up with the minorities

We don't get to see it, because Number One can't keep quiet, which makes miss NOSY sneak peeks over at Namor, pretty quickly realizing who he is (you can make Namor put on a shirt, but you're not making that man button it), and Namor is OUT! These are some great action panels

Being foggy brained is really starting to bother Namor, but he decides to fly high up to see if the vantage helps find Hulk...which in perfect comic book coincidence, helps him find where *Krang* hid his ship instead! Krang wastes no time opening fire, gloating to Dorma about it

Namor being Namor, that jolt is just what he needed to knock him back into clarity and he gets his memory back. So its back on task for him, which is bad news for Krang...and Number One, too. But we'll have to catch that next time, for here ends the issue!

This issue is interesting in that bits of it feel more modern, in a way; its very decompressed for sure, taking its time with Namor wandering about half-dazed and even a brief silent moment. But the art is still very Silver Age, or even older, with moody heavy inks. I enjoyed it!

But now its time to look forward, so be here for the resolution of the Tales to Astonish quasi-inter-crossover of Namor and Hulk with the Secret Empire with issue #85: --And One Shall Die

[2af-afterdark]

Workout

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: GN/M

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

Relationship: Beel/Main Character

Characters: Beel, Main Character

Additional Tags: GN!MC (you/your), public sexy times, blow jobs, accidental boners, Beel does not understand implications

Summary: You and Beel go to the gym sometimes. This time though a little something extra happens to him and you offer to take care of it.

A/N: *sweats in not knowing how to workout* I tried!

Word Count: 1423

The smell of sweat and clothing in deep need of a deep clean permeated your senses. You loved Beel to death and were more than happy to go to the gym with him, but sweaty demons were a whole other can of worms. Most of them smelt terrible and they all had a bad habit of looking at you like a piece of meat – quite literally, unfortunately. You secretly hoped that if any of them got any funny ideas they would find you tough and gamey. Not that you suspected any of them would, given the company you kept.

Out of all the demons in the gym, Beel was clearly a cut above the rest. Even by demon standards, he was tall and he was made of pure muscle; muscles that you loved to stare at as he lifted weights above his head like they were a bag of marshmallows. Even the heaviest weights in the building were a light warmup for him.

“997, 998, 999, 1000.” He counted each time he lifted the weights above his head, finally setting them to the side as he reached his goal. He sat up in his spot, giving you one of those large smiles you adored so much, “Did you finish?”

“A while ago. It’s really hard to find something to do while you’re busy counting that high.” You had managed to lift weights, use the rower, and do a little yoga all in the time it had taken him. If you tried anything else, you were sure your muscles were going to somehow melt off of you. But it was fine because watching him and the way his muscles flexed was an amazing pastime. You were so grateful that you always insisted on working out in one of the unpopulated corners because anyone that caught the way you stared at him would think you were a creep.

He gave you an apologetic look before lifting the edge of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow. When he brought it up though, you noticed something clearly out of place with his appearance.

“Uhh, Beel,” you pointed to the spot just between his legs, where he was quite clearly beginning to pitch a tent.

He looked down, blinking a few times, “Oh? That happens sometimes.”

“It just happens?” That seemed awkward.

He nodded, “It’ll go away after a shower.” Which sounded good considering how much sweat he was covered in.

“And how do you plan to get to the shower with it showing off like that?”

He tilted his head at you, a look of puzzlement on his face, “By walking?”

You actually chuckled at his answer, “No, I meant how do you plan to get over there without anyone noticing?”

“Carefully?”

That was a very vague answer, to say the least. You’re sure he would be fine since this clearly wasn’t the first time it happened, but you had the worst thought run through your head at that moment.

With a smirk, you sauntered toward him, carefully leading his eyes to turn and face you until he was in front of you and an empty wall was behind you, “Can I help?”

“I can walk on my own.”

“I know you can, Babe.” You stepped up between his already parted legs, running a hand against his inner thigh as you dropped to your knees, “But I want to help you with this.”

“Oh,” he said as your meaning finally clicked into place.

“I need you to stay quiet for me, abe. We don’t want to get caught.” Your hand palmed against the bulge straining in his pants, curious fingers following the curve made in his loose shorts. The fabric was nowhere near as thick as his usual outfit, so you could feel how hard and thick he was, even without making direct contact. And it clearly got worse as you wrapped your hand around him, his hardness twitching against your grip while he tried not to make a noise and give away what you two were doing off in this lonely corner.

Only your eyes moved up to look at him, seeing the faint dusting of crimson that danced across his cheeks as he looked down at you with his bottom lip between his teeth. It was like the sweetest torture being wrapped in your hands but not being able to say or do anything for fear he would draw attention toward you both.

All you had to do was smile at him for the tiniest of whimpers to slip through his barely maintained facade. Your hand continued to wander over him, the fingers of one hand settling on circling around his tip which was slowly creating a small wet spot of precum on his shorts while the other hand reached down into your own pants and slowly began to stroke your own needy sex.

Watching you toy with him and yourself was always so unbelievably hot and Beel would love to let you keep indulging, but the longer you both sat there the more likely it was someone would realize what you were both doing.

‘Please.’ He mouthed down to you, desperate for you to make this as quick as possible.

You weren’t unsympathetic to his plight, especially since you were the one who made his situation worse than it originally was. You moved the hand that had been wrapped around him toward the edge of his shorts and hooked your finger under the elastic band, pulling them and his underwear down with very little grace until the entirety of his length was free and on full display before you.

His hands curled into fists at his side as he resisted the urge to make himself decent again, allowing you to lean forward and give a small tentative lick to the underside of his shaft. He jumped in his seat at the feeling of your tongue on him, mouth parting slightly in want to moan even as he kept his voice contained.

You opened your mouth wide, wrapping your lips around the head of his cock and tasting the salt of his skin. With a mischievous hum that reverberated through his length, you slowly began to bob your head. His legs trembled involuntarily around you as he continued to struggle to keep himself composed despite the situation. And it only got harder for him as he looked down at you, watching as he sank into your mouth over and over while your hand visibly moved between your legs. He hated that he couldn’t sweep you up and ravish you himself right now.

Between the minor jerks of his muscles as he slowly began to fail at holding himself back from bucking into you, you felt him twitch against your tongue, a sure sign that he was about to cum. You continued your pace, ready and waiting for him to finally let loose, something that happened not long after you gave him another little upward glance. Watching you suck him so lovingly was too much for him and, as he felt you take him so deeply that he hit the back of your throat, he finally spilled over and shook as he found his release.

Still sucking on his cock to make sure that nothing extra would drip out, you pulled away. His cum was thick on your tongue and you had a very wicked idea. As if to tease him one last time, you opened wide to show him the reward for all your efforts, before closing your mouth again and swallowing it all down. You realized very soon how bad of an idea that was as a wave of desire rushed straight from your head to your groin.

Beel hurried to stuff himself back into his shorts now that he was flaccid and grabbed you by the arm, forcing your hand out of your pants with a disappointed whine before he pulled you fully to your feet and walked toward the front entrance as quickly as he could. He could be angry at himself for skipping a shower later, but there were more pressing issues at the moment.

“Beeeeeeel,” you bemoaned, finding it hard to ignore how desperate you were feeling after taking care of him.

“We need to go,” because you had awakened a beast that was more than happy to sleep, and now all he could think about was getting you home before he got hard again. That, and returning the little favor you had just done for him.