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togetherwearerapture · 3 years

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Boundary (Ethan x MC x Tobias?)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Elle Valentine) x (hints of) Tobias Carrick

Description: Tobias and Elle get to know each other while working on a case. Tobias pushes some boundaries.

Warnings: A few curse words, underlying health problems. Most characters belong to Pixelberry.

Word Count: 5.9k

Notes: Something a bit different, but I very much enjoyed writing this. There’s no overt Tobias x MC, so this is hopefully something Ethan stans can enjoy reading too. If PB won’t give me what I want, I guess write it myself lol

*********

It’s early Fall, yet despite this fact and the hospital’s ‘Bloom-and-improved’ ventilation systems, the diagnostics office feels uncomfortably hot. Elle feels a prickling heat across her back, one that she has become accustomed to of late. The façade she’s wearing is beginning to feel like an actual mask, all clinical-scented and restrictive and artificial.

And yet, this is not a mask she’s wearing on a crowded, sweltering T carriage. Her discomfort is unwarranted; there are, after all, only three of them in the room.

Oblivious, Ethan and Harper continue their conversation. She’s tuned out long ago, but she catches the premise- something that Dr Yannick once said at a conference in New York several years ago.

If she really tried, Elle knows she could search for a moment to join in the discussion. But if she’s being honest with herself, she’s tired of searching for sidegates to enter their house of conversation, instead of ever being invited through the front door.

She tries her hardest to appear relaxed, unbothered, indifferent. But her uneasiness spills into her mannerisms, like water through a cracked pot. Manicured nails drum erratically on the top of her thigh. Her top teeth tug, over and over again, at her lips. The apex of her stiletto heel taps the diagnostic office floor like a furious knife.

She likes and respects Harper very much, and her feelings for Ethan, both as a diagnostician and as her romantic partner are unfathomable. But as juvenile as it sounds, she’s so tired of being shut out.

A whooshing of the sliding doors breaks her out of her reverie, and she and the two other occupants of the room look up. Tobias Carrick strides in, all beams and bravado.

Her own notion takes her by surprise, but somehow, she thinks, his arrival is the breath of fresh air she so desperately needs.

“Goooood morning team!” he chimes brightly. Once again, his arms are laden with a trayful of drinks.

“Morning,” Elle offers him a warm smile, Harper echoing her words.

Ethan nods towards the drinks.

“Another round on you?”

“Sure is, but this isn’t just any old round, Ethan,” Tobias replies. “Now I’ve spent a week on the team, I take great pride in this being the first drinks order that’s just right, for all of you.”

Ethan quirks an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

Tobias grins, and plucks the first drink off the tray.

“Harper,” he presents her with an extravagant looking drink. “Chocolate frappucino. Double the sugar, double the caffeine. The Friday OR schedule is always jam packed, so I reckon you’ll need it.”

“You got that right, I’ve got two laminectomies today,” she sighs, although the passion for her job shines through her eyes. She takes a sip from her drink. “No complaints from me!”

“Excellent,” Tobias grins. “Ethan- a Vienna for you. Classic, refined, and,” he winks, “only a little pretentious.”

Ethan accepts the drink with a roll of his eyes, as Tobias moves around the desk to Elle.

“And now, for you Elle,” he hands her the third cup. “I must admit, for you I went out on a whim. I just hope my guess is a lucky one.”

Curiosity piqued, Elle presses the rim to her lips. She is aware of the eyes of both Tobias and Ethan following her action with interest. Mild, pleasant citrus swims onto her palate.

“Lemon balm?” she asks Tobias. He nods. “You going to elaborate?”

He shrugs.

“Well, I’ve noticed that I’ve never seen you with a coffee before 4pm, so I figured you like to limit caffeine earlier in the day. And I’ve seen you make up a couple of herbal teas before. I took a gamble and figured you’d like this one.”

“Impressive guess, Carrick,” Elle nods, amused. She takes a sip. “It’s good, thank you.”

“Those are some very…astute observations” says Ethan stiffly, as Tobias takes a seat beside Elle. “Maybe you can put your perceptiveness to better use for our next case.”

He slides three manila envelopes across the table, and the team begin to peruse.

“Jake Adams. 17-year-old male admitted last night, with multiple cardiac arrests,” Ethan begins. “He collapsed at school, was unresponsive, no signs of life, but luckily a fellow student was able to perform high-quality CPR until the paramedics arrived. Heart rhythm on their defibrillator was ventricular fibrillation, he was shocked, back to normal sinus rhythm. Between the scene, being loaded onto the stretcher, in the ambulance and arriving here, he arrested and was shocked again 5 more times.”

“Jesus, poor boy,” murmurs Elle, a crease forming between her brows.

“Cardiology have asked us if we can determine the cause of the arrest, which will of course determine the treatment,” Ethan explains.

“This case only came in last night and since he’s now on life support, we’re able to bypass Bloom’s absurd judicial performance and get straight into it,” Harper adds. “Actually, Ethan and I discussed it at length before you both arrived, and we have some solid ideas.”

Elle looks up from the file, quirking an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“So I’m thinking Long QT syndrome, or maybe Brugada,” says Harper.

“They would definitely explain the spontaneous cardiac arrest,” Ethan adds, “Harper and I have ordered genetic testing for both on immediate family members already.”

“Any family history of sudden cardiac death?” Tobias asks.

“Not that we know of,” says Ethan. “But that wouldn’t rule it out.”

Elle frowns slightly as she browses the file. The tests ordered so far are scant, and in her mind, there are several pieces of the diagnostic puzzle missing. But this didn’t seem to stop Harper and Ethan steamrollering ahead, and seemingly settling on a diagnosis before the case had even been presented.

“Does Jake have a-”

“Do you remember that patient with Brugada syndrome who came in for a study a few years ago, Ethan?” Harper turns to Ethan suddenly.

“Ah yes, Paul?” Ethan chuckles, “he was quite a character.”

As Harper and Ethan drift off once again, Elle glances up to see Tobias looking at her quizzically. She lets out a heavy sigh.

Tobias clears his throat.

“Hate to interrupt your…uh…stroll down memory lane,” he begins. “But Elle was about to ask a question about the case, and you both spoke over her.”

The three other diagnosticians turn to Tobias, and a tense silence hangs in the air. After a beat, Harper speaks up.

“I’m sorry Elle,” she says, sincerely. “That was out of line, please continue.”

Tobias turns to Ethan expectantly, who meets Elle’s eye.

Something flickers across his face for a moment, a mixture of shame, guilt, embarrassment, perhaps? It’s a look that Elle can’t quite place. Then, his eyes skim to Tobias and he coughs awkwardly.

“Yes…thank you Tobias. We did speak over you, Elle, I apologise. What were you saying?”

“I was asking if he had a 15-Lead ECG.”

“Not yet,” Harper replies.

“Then until he has one, I don’t think you can consider Brugada syndrome,” says Elle. “We’d need to do an ajmaline challenge too. I can see from the echocardiogram reports in here that he has a structurally normal heart, so we can definitely exclude congenital heart disease as the cause. But for me personally,” she gestures to the file, “there’s a lot missing in here. About what actually happened.”

“How do you mean?” Ethan asks.

“About the context of the cardiac arrest. All we know is that he was at school, but what was he doing? Was he doing anything strenuous, did it happen at rest? There’s a lot more I’d like to know.”

The rest of the team nod thoughtfully.

“I agree…if it happened during exertion, there’s a few other things we could rule out,” says Tobias.

“Exactly,” says Elle. “I think we should consider catecholaminergic polymorphic ventricular tachycardia.”

“You’re thinking CPVT?” asks Ethan, interested. “It’s a possibility.”

“Yes, and it’s one I’d like to investigate more by visiting the school, and finding out more about what happened” says Elle.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Harper responds, twirling her fountain pen between her fingers. “But unfortunately, I won’t be able to join you on your expedition. Like Tobias said, I’ve got a full day in the OR.”

The rest of the team turn to Ethan, who hesitates.

“I…have a meeting with Naveen and the board until lunch,” he says. “Which-”

“-means it’s just you and me, Valentine!” exclaims Tobias, clapping his hands together. “Oh boy, I’ve been looking forward to my first house call with the diagnostics team. We’re going to be on some scooby doo shit, Elle!”

“I beg your pardon?” says Ethan, scowling. Elle can’t help but burst out laughing.

“That settles it then, me and Elle will go to the school,” says Tobias, standing up from his chair. At the same time, Harper gets a page that her surgery is starting and bids them a hurried farewell.

“I was going to say, which means the three of us can go this afternoon once I’m finished,” Ethan says stiffly, as Harper heads out. Tobias shoots him a bemused look.

“I’d rather not wait,” says Elle flatly.

Ethan has wasted enough time in their meetings by bringing up pointless anecdotes with Harper, and she’s very keen to revert her focus to the patients, to diagnostics- the things she loves.

“Me and Valentine will be just fine, E. After all, I’m sure what happened with Jake is still pretty raw to the kids and staff, we’ll need to handle it delicately. Two’s company, three’s a crowd, right?” Tobias flashes Elle a smile.

The same look as before flashes across Ethan’s face, although this time, Elle thinks, it has less of the awkwardness and embarrassment and more of the…something else. His bright blue eyes seem to narrow a fraction, as he looks between Tobias and the woman of his affections.

“Alright,” he sighs finally. “We’ll reconvene when you’re back.”

“Let’s get this show on the road!” says Tobias happily. “To the mystery machine!”

He crosses the room to retrieve his car keys from his bag, while Ethan turns to Elle, and this time, the look of concern is undeniable.

“If you need anything,” he closes some of the distance between them and lowers his voice just a little, “just call me.”

“I think we can handle it,” says Elle, not unkindly. “Enjoy your meeting. And tell Naveen I said hello.”

And with that, she and Tobias leave the office.

********

A short while later, Elle and Tobias are riding in his blue Mercedes S-Class on the way to Jake’s school, a short drive away in South Quincy.

“Not exactly the mystery machine, huh?” says Elle, glancing around at the plush interior.

Tobias shrugs.

“The same colour, at least.”

Boston blurs by as Tobias pulls into a main road, and Elle turns to look at him. His side profile is unmistakably handsome. He drives one handed, the other resting on his thigh.

“So, how’s June?”

He gives a wry half smile, and glances at her.

“Is that your way of asking if we’re still sleeping together?”

“No!” says Elle, honestly. “I’m just wondering how she’s fitting in at Mass Ken. I mean, she left Edenbrook when she thought the ship was going to sink. I got the impression she was pretty keen to be working on your team, now I can’t help but think now you’ve come here, Aurora too…don’t you think she’s been left kinda high and dry?”

“In all honesty, I haven’t seen her for a while, and don’t expect to again anytime soon,” Tobias admits. “But trust me, Hirata will be just fine. She’s head of the team there now.”

Elle raises her eyebrows, impressed.

“I’d say she moves fast, but actually, that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.”

“She was pissed as hell when I said I was leaving, don’t get me wrong,” says Tobias. “But she’s the strongest diagnostician on that team, and the strongest player too.”

“Player?”

“She knows how to play the game. She’ll have no trouble asserting herself as the new leader, running the show the way she wants to.”

Elle thinks back to her time working with June. The way she changed her personality to gain patients’ trust…and Elle’s. Distant anger simmers at the back of her mind, as she remembers how June stole her employee file.

“I agree…office politics was always child’s play for June.”

“Speaking of,” says Tobias as they stop at a red light. He turns to look at her. “The meeting this morning seemed very…uh…political.”

Elle pauses as feels the uncomfortable tingling rise in her chest. She could ask “what are you talking about?”, but she knows exactly what he’s talking about. And there’s something about Carrick that makes her want to cut the crap, to be upfront. So she is.

“You mean Harper and Ethan…”

“Yeah, that. Whatever the hell that was.”

Elle is silent.

“Does that…happen a lot?”

“More often than I’d like.”

“Well, good job I’m here then,” he grins.

Elle’s head whips around.

“Excuse me?”

“C’mon, you can’t tell me you didn’t appreciate the out.”

She rounds on him.

“Ok, let’s make one thing clear, I don’t need you to fight my battles” says Elle angrily. “Since Harper joined, every time the two of them have gone off track, I’ve steered them back on. I’m here for the patient, to solve the case, and nothing is going to detract my focus from that. That’s the way it’s going to stay, with or without your “outs”, Tobias.”

Tobias chuckles.

“You’re feisty Elle, I like it.” His eyes sweep over her from head to toe, which makes Elle feel more angry, but also, inexplicably, makes her stomach flutter a little.

“What I mean is,” Tobias speaks more seriously; sensing her anger, but mercifully oblivious to the other sensation, “I hope you know you’ve got someone else in your corner Elle. I know how much you care about your patients, and I know Bloom’s going to make life for the team difficult, and try and undermine our every move. That’s not helped when it feels like you’re not listened to by the actual people in it. You’re an excellent doctor Elle, and I value your input. The others should too.”

Elle is dumbstruck. She still doesn’t know what to make of Tobias Carrick; she had picked up pieces and hints from the scattered stories she’d heard from Ethan, most recently in their walk through the rose garden. But while considering the perspective and feelings of the man she so deeply cares for, she acknowledges it is biased. Elle knows that she has good reason to be wary of Tobias; it was not just Ethan he had toyed with, after all- Aurora had been burned by him too.

But, Tobias had helped to save her life. And the genuine smile that he gave her through the contamination screens of that cursed room, on the worst day of her life, had always stayed with her.

So, with a pinch of salt ready between her fingers, Elle decided from the moment he joined the team, that she would form her own opinion of him.

It occurs to her then, just how much Ethan sees the world in black and white. But Tobias Carrick is very much a shade of grey.

Before she can respond to him, the GPS on Tobias’ dash declares that they are arriving at their destination, and sure enough, Elle sees the school up ahead on the right.

“Here we are,” murmurs Tobias as he pulls in through the school gates. “Looks like we’re expected.”

They park up and head over to the school steps, surrounded by blossom trees, where a middle aged woman offers them a watery smile and extends a hand.

“Ah, hello…the doctors from Edenbrook, I presume?” she asks. “I’m Helena Brady, the principal of Greenview High.”

“Yes, we spoke earlier on the phone,” says Elle. “I’m Dr Eleanor Valentine, and this is Dr Tobias Carrick. We’re here to speak to the people that were with Jake when he collapsed?”

“I’m afraid it’s just the one person,” says Helena gravely, leading them through the school. “His friend Charlie was the only one who saw it, and then ran for help. How is Jake doing?”

“He’s still in a coma, but stable,” says Tobias. “The most important thing for us to help him, is find out from Charlie some more about the collapse, and go from there.”

Helena nods, as they come to a stop outside a small office.

“We’ve all been praying for him, it’s so tragically sad…nothing like this has ever happened to a student before,” she sniffs stoically. “Thank you for your work doctors, but please, be gentle with the boy. He’s still very shaken.”

Elle smiles at her reassuringly.

“We will be, don’t worry.”

As Tobias and Elle knock and enter the room, the boy springs to his feet, eyes wild.

“You’re the doctors…how’s Jake, is he-oh god is he-is he dead?” he cries.

“No, Jake is ok. He’s been through a lot, but he’s recovering,” says Elle gently. Charlie sinks back into his chair, though his knees are still quaking.

“It’s Charlie right?” Tobias asks, pulling up a chair. “I’m Tobias and this is Elle. We’re Jake’s doctors. Do you know why we’re here today?”

“Y-yes, that’s me,” Charlie sniffs. “Principal Brady said you were here to talk to me about Jake…I was so scared, I thought, I thought that meant he had died.”

Elle kneels in front of him, laying a gentle hand on his knee.

“I’m really sorry that us coming made you think that, Charlie,” she says. “It must have been really tough watching Jake collapse like that, I’m not surprised you’re thinking the worst. But we think we can help Jake get better, we just need your help.”

Some of the tension seems to leave Charlie’s body upon hearing this; his shudders subside. He pulls anxiously at the strings of his hoodie, unruly teenage bangs falling over his forehead.

“So, Charlie,” Tobias asks as Elle pulls up a chair beside him, “do you think you could tell us a bit more about what Jake was doing when you saw him collapse? Had he been running, exercising, working out?”

“No,” Charlie says quietly. “He wasn’t doing anything like that.”

“That’s really helpful Charlie, thank you,” says Elle. “Can you tell us if he standing up or sitting down? Did he lose his balance or seem dizzy? Did he complain of feeling ill, or funny in any sort of way before it happened?”

Charlie stiffens.

“No. He was-we were-we were arguing.”

Tobias and Elle exchange a quick look.

“Is Jake your friend, Charlie?” Tobias asks.

“No! No he’s not, and I’m so sick of pretending he is!” Charlie shouts. “Jake’s my boyfriend!” Tears begin to roll down his cheeks.

“Oh Charlie, I’m so sorry,” says Elle. “You said you were pretending…does anyone else know that?”

Charlie shakes his head.

“No. That’s what we were arguing about,” he accepts a tissue that Elle offers, blowing his nose.

“Take your time, Charlie,” says Tobias, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. “It’s ok.”

After a few deep breaths, Charlie steels himself.

“We’ve been dating for three years, kind of in secret, kind of not,” he explains. “My parents know I’m gay, and they’re fine with it. They’ve met Jake before and they love him, they know we’re together. But he’s not even out to his parents, they just think we’re friends.”

He sniffs.

“Now we’re in senior year, we’re both looking at colleges, and we want to go to different ones. We’d be living five hours apart. I don’t know if we can make the long-distance work, especially if his parents don’t know about us. In the times we’d both be back home, they wouldn’t understand why he’d want to spend a lot of that time with me. But the one thing I just really, really wanted, was for us to go to senior prom together. As a couple, you know? To just dress up together, get photos together, dance together, one last time before we leave.”

“And Jake…wasn’t on board with that?” asks Elle.

“He was,” says Charlie. “He said he really wanted to. He just…wasn’t on board with the part of that which meant he’d have to come out to his parents.”

“I see,” says Tobias.

Charlie’s eyes begin to fill with tears again.

“I was saying, before he collapsed, that he didn’t love me,” he cries. “That he must not love me if he’s not prepared to come out. He was getting so upset, begging me, telling me of course he loved me, he was just scared, and then-” he sobs. “Then he was on the floor.”

Elle kneels beside him again, taking both his hands in her own.

“I’ve been googling stuff that could have caused it,” Charlie sniffles. “I saw there’s this condition, some long one beginning with, a C, I think, that means people’s hearts can give out when they’re stressed.”

Tobias raises an eyebrow, somewhat impressed at the boy’s diagnostic skills.

“What if-what if I could’ve killed him, because of the argument? And I told him he must not love me, I didn’t even mean it, I know how hard it is to come out, I didn’t mean to-” he buries his head in his hands.

“Charlie- Charlie listen to me,” says Elle. “It’s true, that we think Jake might have a condition called CPVT. It means that certain situations, like exercise, or stress, can cause the heart to go into an abnormal rhythm. But that does not mean, whatsoever, that any of this is your fault. We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment, when we’re angry. If Jake does have this condition, and we’ll have to run a couple more tests to know that for sure, then it means that we can treat it, and stop it from happening again. It could have happened to him at anytime, anywhere, but he was lucky enough to be with you. You’ve helped him have a lucky escape.”

“R-really?” asks Charlie.

“Really,” says Tobias, who is on his feet. He lays a hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “Your principal was telling us earlier that you did CPR on Jake while you got others to run for help?”

“Yes,” Charlie mutters, looking up at Tobias.

“Well Charlie, I think you saved his life.”

Charlie’s eyes gleam with hope.

“What are you applying for at college?” Tobias asks.

“Um..cardiac nursing,” he says.

“Very fitting. You’ll always be welcome at Edenbrook for some work experience.” Tobias smiles, genuinely. It’s the same smile Elle remembers from after the attack.

“Do you think, then, that he’ll be ok?” Charlie asks tentatively.

“Yes, I do,” smiles Elle. “And I think that you and Jake will be ok too.”

****************

Some time later, Elle steps out of the school. After speaking at length with the school counsellor, she had made sure that Charlie had some extensive therapy sessions in place. Tobias is waiting for her at the foot of the steps, beneath the blossom trees, and she is surprised to see he has a cigarette in hand.

“You smoke?” she raises an eyebrow at him as she approaches. “I thought you’d know better, Tobias.”

He takes a drag.

“Vices, Valentine,” he quips. “We all have them.”

Elle vaguely remembers Ethan had once said the same thing about butter.

“Carcinogens, though. Really?”

Tobias chuckles.

“I’m dirty, what can I say?”

He dutifully puts out the cigarette, as Elle gives him a reproachful look, and turns to her.

“You were good in there, with him,” says Tobias.

“Thanks…so were you.”

“We make a good team,” he smiles, and his expression softens a little. “That was kinda heavy though. You bearing up ok?” he asks.

Elle nods.

“I’m fine. I just hope Charlie will be ok, I really want to make sure he starts therapy as soon as possible. I know how much of a difference it made for me, after the attack.”

She trails off, and Tobias seems to sense the darkness clouding over her eyes. The mild September breeze sifts through the blossom trees above them with a gentle sigh.

“I don’t think I ever actually said this to you,” says Elle quietly, “but thank you. For helping to save me and Raf, that day.”

“No thanks needed,” he responds. “I wanted to do everything I could to help.”

He pauses only briefly before continuing.

“You know, out of everything that happened that day, all the work we did in the lab trying to find an antidote…the one thing I remember most is how Ethan was in that room. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him like that before. About anyone, or anything.”

A sudden chill trickles down her neck, goosebumps erupt on her forearms; a million tiny foothills.

Since their conversation in the car after Danny and Bobby’s funeral, Ethan had never really spoken in depth about his own feelings during the attack. Sometimes, in early hours when they laid in bed together, with the rain hammering against his window, she would mention it.

And every time, she would see his eyes darken with so many unsaid words. He would fix his gaze desperately on her like she was evaporating steam, set to vanish from existence in a matter of moments. His hold on her waist would tighten, fingertips tracing her soft skin as if to remind himself she wasn’t a ghost.

There had been whispers in his bed in the stillness of the night, when they were both half asleep. He had uttered sleepy confessions and declarations to her; some so heartfelt and moving, she still questioned whether they were real or if she had dreamt them.

More often straight after the attack, but still now sometimes, she would wake in his arms to find him already looking at her, his eyes filled with wonder, pain, and something else that she was starting to place.

‘Why are you awake?’ she would gently murmur.

‘I couldn’t sleep. I-had a nightmare.’

She would press herself closer to his chest, feel his strong arms encircling her as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

‘I’m here, Ethan.’

‘I know. I’m…so glad you are.’

She is jolted to the present with Tobias’ voice.

“Even if he didn’t show it this morning…Ethan’s got it bad for you, you know.”

Elle cranes her neck to look up at him- at the man who shares so much history with Ethan. He’s almost as tall as her lover, but slightly less built, shoulders not quite as broad. Alike in many ways, but different in so many others.

“Why are you here, Tobias?” she asks, without breaking eye contact. “You had it all at Mass Kenmore. You’re an excellent diagnostician, you could have gone anywhere. Why, of all people, would you want to come and work for Ethan, someone you have such a complicated past with?”

Tobias’ hazel eyes, a contrast to Ethan’s azure blue’s, look into hers deeply. She knows that there’s something hiding beneath their golden depths; either earnestness, an ulterior motive, or perhaps something more complicated- a mixture of both.

He takes a step towards her, raising his hand towards her face. Her breath hitches, then climaxes in a soft exhale, when he simply removes a lone blossom petal that has settled on the lapel of her white coat. She wonders what exactly she had been expecting him to do.

Tobias twists his tongue between his teeth, a half-smile playing on his lips. Once again, his eyes roam over her from head to toe. This close, Elle can smell his cologne. It’s good; notes of leather and pine and exotism drift to her olfactory nerve. It’s a contrast to her favourite aftershave of Ethan’s, which smelled like bergamot, cedar, and home.

Tobias drops the petal to the floor, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I’m here Elle,” he murmurs, “because I want to push boundaries.”

********************

Ethan leans against his desk, fingertips drumming impatiently. His meeting had been finished for a while now, but he was still waiting for Elle and Tobias to return.

His old rival’s keenness to go on an outreach call with Elle had stirred something within him. Something in his head had switched on. A distant alarm bell that had been silent for some time, had started to ring.

Lost in thought, he mulls over the events of the morning.

He’d done it again.

He, and Harper, had spoken over Elle when she was trying to talk about the patient. Not only that, he recognises now, but before Tobias had entered the room, the two of them had been reminiscing about something that didn’t involve Elle in the slightest.

He doesn’t know why he keeps slipping up. He harbours no romantic feelings for Harper whatsoever, but he’s been enjoying the chance to work more closely with her, the friendly conversations, to share stories and experiences.

But they haven’t just been work related, he thinks. Did I really need to bring up the flamenco lessons? Or Gaston’s? He recalls the look on her face when he’d told Elle he planned to take her there because of its intimacy, immediately after discussing it with Harper. Before Elle’s forced smile and her gracious reply of “I’d like that,” he’d always thought he had caught a flicker of dismay, of hurt, on her features.

Now he’s certain it was more than a flicker.

I don’t deserve her, he thought.

With a swoosh, the doors of the diagnostics office open. He sees the familiar head of immaculately coiffed blonde locks, and as his eyes travel down to Elle’s beautiful face, his heart soars, and he can’t help but break into a wide smile.

“Elle!” he says happily, pushing himself up of the desk.

I missed you, he foolishly finds himself wanting to say, despite the fact that like most days at work, it’s only been a few hours since he’s seen her. But as his eyes travel to Tobias following her in, he keeps the admission to himself.

“We have an answer,” says Elle triumphantly. “We’ve listed Jake for an ICD insertion tomorrow morning.”

“It was CPVT?” Ethan asks.

“Yep,” says Tobias. “Elle’s hunch was right. Turns out it was an argument with his boyfriend that brought on the cardiac arrest. We ran a test for CPVT as soon as we got back, while you were still in the meeting, and it’s positive.”

Elle smiles brightly.

“Jake’s going to be okay.”

Ethan beams. He’s exceptionally proud of her.

“Excellent work Elle,” he leans forward to squeeze her arm, as bold a gesture as he dares while they have company. “And thanks Tobias, for helping out.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” says Tobias. He looks pointedly at Elle, then adds, “believe me.”

An unpleasant sensation coils in the pit of Ethan’s stomach. He tries to push it down.

As Tobias crosses the room to take a phone call, he steps closer to Elle, lowering his voice.

“Listen Elle, about earlier. I’m sorry,” he says sincerely, tentatively taking her hand in his own. He caresses her tiny fingers with his thumb. “It’s unacceptable for me to talk over you in meetings, and I…know that this isn’t the first time it’s happened, and that there are, uh, other things. I’m sorry if my actions have ever made you feel excluded.”

Elle’s bright green eyes look into his thoughtfully, though she says nothing; silently willing him to continue.

“I’d like to make it up to you. I think a date night between us is long overdue. Can I take you for dinner tonight?” he asks. A flash of hope, along with the tinge of dismay he remembers from before, travels across her face. “Not Gaston’s,” he adds quickly. “I want to find somewhere new with you. For us.”

Her face floods with warmth, eyes gazing into his searchingly. He desperately scans her beautiful face, seeking some inkling of her true feelings; the ones he knows she’s bottling up.

“You’re right, it is long overdue,” she says finally, her gaze steady. “And I’d really like that, to find somewhere new to go to dinner with you. But I can’t do tonight.”

His heart sinks a little, and as if sensing this, like she always seems to, she squeezes his hand reassuringly.

“I’m out for drinks with Si, Aurora and Jackie tonight. But we’ll go soon.”

She offers him a soft smile, which he returns.

It doesn’t quite quell the slight but unmistakable feeling of anxiety in his stomach. It’s guilt, it’s the gnawing thought that he will never be good enough for her, the idea that he’s taken her for granted.

Worst of all, there is the completely irrational, but terrible notion that he could lose her.

And somehow, the thought that he could lose her in living rather than in death, as he had once feared, is almost more terrible.

She gently lets go of his hand. On the other side of the room, Tobias hangs up the phone.

“I’m going to go and speak to Jake’s parents,” says Elle, slipping off and readjusting her white coat.

Ethan’s eyes travel over her form-fitting pencil skirt, clinging to her delicate body in all the right places.

He doesn’t miss the way Tobias’ do the same. Then, as if knowing he’s being watched, he looks up at Ethan. His eyes narrow, and the corners of his lips twitch.

Ethan wants nothing more than to sock him in the jaw.

“We’ll check in later, once Harper’s finished surgery?” she asks, breaking the two men out of their reverie.

Ethan nods, and Elle bids them goodbye. The click of her heels on the linoleum echoes into the tense silence. Then, he can’t hold it in any longer.

“Could you be,” Ethan begins through gritted teeth, “a little more fucking subtle, Carrick?”

Tobias chuckles.

“I can’t help it, Ethan, and clearly neither can you. A woman like that, body like that…we’re just as powerless as any other red-blooded male.”

Ethan curls his fists in the pockets of his coat.

“Don’t talk about Elle like that. I won’t have you disrespecting her in that way,” he spits, taking a step towards him.

“You want to talk about disrespecting her?” counters Tobias, unflinching. “Because I think taking a stroll down memory lane with your ex, every five minutes, is pretty disrespectful to the woman you’re currently fucking.”

Ethan is stunned. Had she told Tobias that it had happened before? Did she tell him they were seeing eachother, or had Tobias clocked it himself? What exactly had they talked about while they were away?

“Elle is- she’s off limits,” he snaps, the only response his seething mind is able to come up with.

Tobias smiles, satisfied at seeing the other man riled up. Then, infuriatingly, he turns away.

“Who decided that, Ethan?” he says quietly over his shoulder “Her or you?”

And with that, Tobias turns and leaves.

*******

Author’s Note: Thanks for reading this far! I wanted to explore the dynamic between Elle and Tobias, and the way I wrote him in this fic reflects my own thoughts about him; I think he’s a good guy, as demonstrated by him helping to save her life and his thoughtfulness, but I’m definitely suspicious of his ulterior motives and his past actions. I also wanted the sexual tension between Ethan, Elle and Tobias, and was hoping that PB would make Tobias call out Ethan shutting her out of meetings. They didn’t deliver so I did it myself lol Also wanted Ethan to start feeling insecure about the way he’s been treating Elle since his behaviour has been trash thanks to the OOC writing, but I still love him

#ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #tobias carrick #ethan ramsey #tobias carrick x mc #open heart #choices open heart #open heart 3

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brightwoods · 3 years

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Oh me? I’m just thinking about how even the characters who don’t have a problem with Alastair at this point (with the one exception of of Cordelia’s one comment to Thomas that was far tamer than things other characters say about him and that if it was going to be to Thomas couldn’t even be after Thomas threatened to throw him in the Thames right in front of her face at her wedding which was certainly worse) won’t say a word to defend him or even establish to people who do have a problem with him that they don’t

Like we’ve got

1. Cordelia who has never said a word about anything her friends have said about Alastair in front of him when they’ve been blatantly making snarky comments about him in front of her and she won’t even tell them not to say those things around her

She also never actually stood up for him in that one context with Thomas. She just asked if he just remembered that Alastair was her brother and at least she did say well he’s my brother and I love him but she still constantly excuses negative comments about him and never corrects them or says something about their comments in front of Alastair or even to him separately about it

Like it felt very well yeah he sucks but he’s my brother and I love him more than a defence

Also she never even said a simple that’s not the only good thing he’s done when Matthew eavesdropped on her private conversation with Alastair and then showed up with the backhanded comment like wow can you believe I happened to hear the only decent thing Alastair has ever said or done in his entire life when he very easily could have just talked about what he came there for instead of making comments at Alastair’s expense for his audience of only Cordelia who from what he’s seen doesn’t really seem to have a problem with any comments about Alastair in front of her

2. Thomas who used to annoy the hell out of his friends constantly going out of his way to interact with Alastair and ask about his feelings and treat him like a person but no longer did that after the Academy which yes is partly because of how his friends acted every time he mentioned Alastair or spoke to him but also Thomas is out here with feelings for Alastair and staying absolutely silent on the negative comments about him from other people instead of disagreeing or defending him or saying anything about not wanting to hear it

And then even worse, after he found out about the rumour he actively joined in and started talking shit about Alastair publicly whether Alastair was there or not... which yes, he was mad, I get that and it’s not like Alastair didn’t use to talk shit about him in front of other people

But the part that really gets me is that in the Sanctuary, Thomas never says anything to take those things back or to contradict any of the negative shit that’s the general consensus about him. He goes on about how much he wanted to hate Alastair and tried to and about how hot Alastair is and about how Alastair was always his secret and was his favourite part of his trip and he kisses him with no one around but he doesn’t really say anything that’s definitively about Alastair as a person beyond his physical appearance, sexuality, and availability

He basically said hey let’s pretend that no one else exists and Paris was the first time we met and make out so that we don’t have to think about any consequences or anyone outside or this room and then wondered why Alastair went oh your friends hate me, this isn’t possible once they were both free and all the evidence up to that point suggested that Thomas was still years past the point of sticking his neck out for Alastair in front of his friends no matter what his friends said and no matter how much he liked him

(He also did not say anything that we got to see after that about Alastair or to him in front of anyone else beyond trusting him in the fight with him and Christopher but then it was Thomas and other characters talking after with Alastair off on his own when Cordelia got there already again which we don’t have full context for but seems like Thomas went right back into his behaviour from before the sanctuary and before the rumour where he’s not saying things against Alastair and sure he’s tolerating him around other people but he’s also not saying anything in his favour or establishing that he doesn’t actively have a problem with Alastair and think he’s a horrible person anymore (which hopefully will come up with other characters later but at this point we have seen no hints of in what we saw of Thomas around other characters after the Sanctuary scene)

3. James who forgave Alastair and is willing to be civil and kind to him away from his friends and then just doesn’t really speak to or acknowledge him in front of his friends... and in front of other people tells Alastair that he had better treat Cordelia well or he won’t let him in their house or be civil to him anymore as it Alastair hadn’t been treating her well before that point and it was James’ warning that would inspire his behaviour around her

It’s also interesting how there’s silence or that in public but in private he will say that no one judges Alastair for his father’s drinking problem and will talk to him about Thomas and Matthew and giving them time

James seems to think Alastair deserves a chance but also has no intention of letting anyone else catch on that he thinks that even when Alastair tells him how he’s trying to make amends and he doesn’t know how to fix it if no one will let him apologize

Like sure James is over old things and is better than actively complaining about Alastair and being rude to him... but he also lets his friends say whatever they want about Alastair without ever saying a word about it, even when his friends are threatening his wife’s brother in front of her at their wedding

Sure, he has less obligation to speak up for Alastair, but also when he married into the family and then continues to listen to it constantly without even blinking at anything said about him is definitely worse than if he wasn’t married to Cordelia (and also I’m still including him even if he has a lot less obligation to speak up for him because he is still another person that’s like oh sure Alastair’s alright but don’t tell anyone I said that, I’m certainly not going to show that I’m on decent terms with him in front of anyone else)

4. And then obviously there was Charles who would never say anything remotely positive about him in front of anyone else and pretty much doesn’t acknowledge his existence around other people except for that time that he called him pathetic in front of Cordelia which yikes what a way to try to get an ex back, I wonder why it didn’t work...

5. And okay listen I know that Christopher is by no means the main issue at all and that he doesn’t really seem to have a problem with Alastair, but he very much follows along with what the other Merry Thieves think... like sure he won’t say anything against Alastair but he won’t say anything for him either or say anything about the constant comments the others make and it’s very clear in Chain of Iron that he entirely takes his cues for whether they’re tolerating and acknowledging Alastair or not from the other Merry Thieves where it’s like oh we have a problem with Alastair now... oh he got Thomas out and now Thomas is not ac to very threatening him so he must be alright to fight with okay...

Like Christopher doesn’t have an obligation to say anything about the way the others talk about him or anything when he doesn’t really have any ties to Alastair or reason to speak up but he is another character that’s like well I don’t have a problem with him but okay let’s all go along with this group mindset about him that at this point is just Matthew hating him so loudly that everyone goes oh okay we’re supposed to not like him and not stir the pot by saying anything to contradict that (and Thomas hating him just as loudly for a while before Christopher saw oh okay I think Thomas might be over it? which hopefully means Christopher’s going to be more likely to show that he’s willing to talk to Alastair and tolerate being around him during Chain of Thorns which it’s sad to say in this series is a high bar for how people treat Alastair even though that should be a the bar is on the floor moment)

And this post is way longer than I meant for it to get, but my point is that you know that Alastair thinks he still deserves having no one defend him or even show they’re okay enough with him to tolerate him when anyone else is around because at the Academy he didn’t defend anyone else and targeted other people that no one was standing up for just like he’s being targeted so it must be karma that even when he manages to claw his way up to people having a better opinion of him and not actively thinking that he deserves to be hated, those people still stay silent around and about him so that the only things said about him are still negative

And anyway if at least 4 characters don’t have an interaction with Alastair that isn’t negative and that isn’t when they’re alone with him or with just the Carstairs in Chain of Thorns then I am going to scream in rage for the rest of eternity

#It’s once again the time of night for I meant to go to bed and then got distracted typing about these characters for an hour oops!!!#No rereading for clarity or typos it is night time we don’t have standards at this hour #Alastair Carstairs #The Last Hours #TLH #Chain of Iron #CoI #The Shadowhunter Chronicles #TSC #Cassandra Clare #My Posts

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moonchildridden · 3 years

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PuthKaeng, the green&red couple: Daddy&Papi, mysterious man and lots of dots, everywhere

Hello, beautiful people! It’s moonchild here and I hope none of you are tire of having to read the things I write because here I am, again, to talk about the only thing that gives me strength and energy to leave my bed in the morning, and the only couple that matters: PuthKaeng.

Being honest, I had hopes that those two long ass analysis would be the last thing I would do related to them and would final begin to think about writing a fanfiction about them (yes, your resident analyst is a writer) but then, because they can’t seem to leave me alone and let me breath for five minutes, a special episode came out and my brain went back to work in overdrive and started analyzing everything. I hate my brain sometimes.

Anyways. I would like to say that this won’t (hopefully) be a long analysis just like the others, only a commentary of the episode in general, me connecting the revelations we had about the “mysterious man” and what were presented to us in the main arc of their story and me rambling in between, just because I can. Granted, the main focus of this post is to talk about the main focus of the special, which was to know who the mysterious man was, but that doesn’t stop us from talking about other things in the episode as well.

When it was announced that we would have something about PuthKaeng again, it was in the guise of being an extra scene and I rushed to finish my main analysis because I was afraid that whatever was in said extra scene would throw a lot of monkey wrenches on my theories that I was writing but unfortunately that didn’t happened, because the universe hates me sometimes. However, the universe also loves me because what we all thought would be a simple extra scene became a fucking 10 MINUTE SPECIAL EPISODE! Not only that, it gave me everything I wanted to see with them, and an opportunity to see them again in new things (P’Chewin, I know you have a series of them ready, give it to me).

The special episode was just beautiful and amazing, cute, pillow-biting, intense, sensual and perfect, all in once. Their chemistry was point, their acting skills were on point, the deliverance of feelings and usage of body language was on point, a solid 10/10 in my book. I would give those 10 minutes an award if I could, but because I can’t, I’m gonna talk about it the best I can.

A small disclaimer before I start: because the episode didn’t came with official subtitles (Ais Play/Copy A hates us, for sure), I had to search on YouTube for translations and found two, one of the entire episode and other of the first two and a half minutes. I’ll go back and forth between those two translations, especially when talking about the first minutes, because the translations are a bit different and convey different things, even if the context is the same. Just so you guys don’t find it weird having screenshots with different fonts.

1. I’m addicted, I’m addicted only…

The episode opens with PuthKaeng in the same room, Kaeng busy doing something on his working table (probably something school related) and Puth playing videogames.

The fact that they seem so comfortable being in the same space, each one doing something on their own, shows that they’ve established some sort of routine and just by being in the same geographic space is enough for them. Puth then receives a phone call and Kaeng at first didn’t seem to pay attention but turned around as soon as he heard the person on the other side of the call ask Puth “where he was?”, to what Puth answered that he was in “his boyfriend’s room” while looking at Kaeng. The caller asks Puth to “hang out/meet up”, making Kaeng arch an eyebrow, and Puth, while still looking at Kaeng, says that “he’s not going, because he wants to be with his boyfriend” and after that ends the call.

The fact that he didn’t said Kaeng’s name and simply said “my boyfriend’s room” and “stay with my boyfriend” and the other person didn’t asked who said boyfriend was or made a big thing out of that, considering Puth’s past reputation, means that the person that called him knows exactly who that boyfriend was and that PuthKaeng’s relationship is not a secret to anyone. Also, the way the word “boyfriend” rolled out of Puth’s tongue, so easily, it shows that he’s proud to have someone to call boyfriend and have the opportunity to spend time with his boyfriend. Just…the happiness energy he pours in those 30 seconds-ish of call is overwhelming.

After Puth puts down his phone and looks back at Kaeng, who is looking at Puth with a weird expression on his face, he get up his chair and goes to him, asking “what’s wrong, papi?” (I shit you not, when I heard that on the episode I blushed and almost screamed because it was so cute it gave diabetes) and Kaeng asked “why you (daddy) didn’t go?” (Puth calling Kaeng “papi” was one thing I was not ready to go through but Kaeng calling Puth “daddy” and find out those are the pet names they use with each other was the death of me. God, please receive my soul in heaven), receiving a “how can I go, I wanna stay here with you” as answer from Puth.

Kaeng says to Puth that his explanation is a “lie” and that “Puth wants to go, he can see it/he knows Puth very well” and Puth admits that, with a “sometimes, because he used to hang out a lot” but Kaeng says a soft, and jokingly, “I’m sulking now”, and after Puth asks Kaeng if he “isn’t bored of staying in the room?” because he “used to hang out a lot too”, Kaeng makes the CUTEST FACE EVER (pause to see how Kaeng’s eyes GLOW when he’s looking at Puth. Seriously, how much love can that guy keep in his eyes, for them to shine like that?) and says that “he’s not used like Puth but he’s never bored of Puth” and then they kiss.

This exchange makes me think that they are in the first weeks of dating and still trying to get used to the idea of being a couple (not that the way they were acting with each other before had any difference except the fact that they were not official but whatever), finding a common ground and a safe/comfort zone where they could stand and feel stable. New relationships are always that, new, and it takes time to get fully accustomed with them, let alone feel stable; it helps the fact that they are friends and knew basic things about each other, so now what they need to do is try to know about each other not as friends but as significant others. That’s why they like to spend time with each other and enjoy all the time they have together, to get to know what the other is like, as a boyfriend.

(Before I continue, please appreciate Kaeng being totally baby. Thank you)

After the kiss, Puth ask Kaeng if they “should find something to do?”, Kaeng, having understood something else with his question (I don’t blame him, the way Puth was touching his arm, I would’ve thought the same too) asks “here?” and after Puth said “yes”, Kaeng hits him lightly on the chest and complains that “he’s still sore” (not that I needed it that but PuthKaeng versatile confirmed in only one sentence). Puth then says that Kaeng “is thinking too much” and that he meant “go and find something fun to do”. Kaeng seems uncertain about that but, as we see next, he obliged.

And the date…guys, the date! Do you guys remember that Puth that didn’t wanted to anyone to know that he and Kaeng were sleeping together? That Puth that denied vehemently that he was dating Kaeng (at the time, he was right), made shitty excuses to Mon so he couldn’t pry for more details about what Kaeng had done to him in the night he went to their room? That Puth that didn’t even wanted to be see publically with Kaeng? Well, that Puth is now walking on the streets, holding his boyfriend’s hands and oozing happiness. Seriously, the way he smiles every time he looks at Kaeng, his body language showing that he’s totally relaxed with Kaeng on his side, the way they are having fun together, even with a simple thing as an ice cream cone that they can’t hold, is so fullfiling to watch because it shows that they are happy together. And Kaeng’s eye smile…he looks so cute and happy at the same time, it hurts seeing him so happy. They are soft with each other, feel happy with each other, feel good having each other as someone to spend time with, it just screams domesticity. They are that couple, people.

And look how Puth just throw his head back while laughing. I remember seeing somewhere, years ago, that when someone laughs that way while they are with you, it means they are really having fun. And remembering that made this scene 100x better.

2. My entire heart, all of it that I have inside is for you

Fast forward, we have PuthKaeng in a hotel room and the first thing I noticed is that they were holding hands (remember what I said about them always holding in intimate moments, back when they were only friends and how I always liked to think that it was something theirs, that they only did that with each other and how it sounded too…hum…how do I put this…not something that people that were not dating, especially players, would do? Yeah) and looking at each other (always the eye contact, people. This bitches been acting like a couple since the beginning), acting like the world were theirs and theirs alone.

Kaeng looked at Puth from head to toe while Puth takes off the robe Kaeng was wearing and then Kaeng took off Puth’s robe but did that while he was doing that he started to kneel down and was ready to give Puth a blowjob but Puth stopped him before Kaeng could even do something about it. The way Kaeng didn’t disconnected his hands from Puth’s body shows that he enjoys feeling physically connected with the other man, in every opportunity he could get (I think that his behavior on episode 9 made that pretty clear but is never wrong to bring that fact back); Puth then asked why Kaeng was rushing things and Kaeng said that he was just warming up, before sharing a nose kiss and Kaeng kiss Puth’s nose (bringing back all the kisses from the main arc back and my thoughts about them being confirmed. Coming full circle here, people. Coming full circle!).

Kaeng’s statement about “being happy today” was something that even if he hadn’t told Puth, I’m pretty sure Puth could see that written all over his face, because the man was glowing with happiness like a Christmas tree in the middle of a shopping mall. After the Puth’s teasing about Kaeng being happy because he could “eat”, Kaeng asking if he could “eat tonight”, Puth saying that “tonight, he could only taste a little” and Kaeng pretending to “bite” Puth (they are talking about sex, people, nothing extraordinary here), Puth says that he would be back in a minute and then leaves the small bathroom (?) they were and this is where things start to get interesting.

[A bit of a backstory about this: when the announcement of the “extra scene” came and people were excited to know who the “mysterious man” was, I became confused because I had no idea of what people were talking about. Even after someone commented about the mysterious man being about the man who sent that message to Kaeng on episode 9, I was still confused because for me a friend of his had sent the message but brushed aside, for the perspective of having an extra scene of PuthKaeng was above any confusion.]

Puth grabs his phone, goes to site on the border of the bathtub and is then revealed that he is the mysterious man! Mind you, we all had that revelation in an episode without subtitles, but the fact that he was sending messages to a guy that was in the same room as he was and there was no names displayed on top of the messages to identify the people in the conversation was enough for us to understand what was happening. Remember when I said that they were still getting used to the idea of being a couple and that new relationships take time to become stable? Well, Puth may be super-duper happy and see that Kaeng is happy with him but is normal to have doubts if the person next to you is actually happy or pretending just to make you happy, so Puth had to have that extra confirmation, so he used something that seemingly would make Kaeng be 100% honest (notice that Puth only does that after Kaeng said that he was happy).

It had been a total twist receiving that information but then we had to have a double twist when after Kaeng said “I think we should stop talking” and the “mysterious man” asked “why?”, Kaeng comes out of the bathroom, walks rather sensually towards Puth and after sitting next to him answers the question with a “because I have a boyfriend now” and then shows his tongue to Puth. Puth, understandable surprised with that turn of events, asks Kaeng if he had “always know that it was him?”, receives a nod from Kaeng, so asks “how Kaeng found out? Had he peeked on his phone?” and then Kaeng delivers a triple twist by saying that “there’s only one person he knows who likes to text dot at the end of sentences in Thai”.

At that moment I was like “there’s no way that’s how Kaeng found out about Puth being the mysterious man”, so I went back to episodes 9 and 10, look for any moments where Puth sent any messages to confirm that he had that habit and there they were, clear as water, in EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE. I’m not saying that lightly, since the FIRST message that Puth sent in episode 9, which a reply to Nong Jumbo’s message about missing him, until the LAST message he sent, which was to Kaeng to tell him that he wanted to talk to him later, ALL had dots in the end.

That made my jaw drop because it is such a small detail, something we had in front of us the entire time, but never actually stopped to pay attention and it was that fucking small detail that made Kaeng caught him as soon as he sent a message, pretending to be someone else.

And the fact that Kaeng knew since the beginning that it was Puth brings forward two situations:

It is established that we started their main arc with Kaeng already liking Puth. And I said in the final part of my theory, in the timeline of events, that both of them had cut off contact with any potential sexual partners, so Kaeng only continued talking to the mysterious man because he knew it was Puth. If it weren’t for the inability of Puth for using fakes (seriously, that’s hilarious to be honest, being discovered because you like to use dots in the end of sentences. It’s like people knowing it’s me just because I never use abbreviations when I write messages. True story), Kaeng would’ve blocked him as soon the first message got in his Line account. Knowing that, no wonder he smiled after reading the message;

Puth sent the message, put down his phone and got back to the room whistling “Dear Friend”, a song that talks about someone having feelings for their friend, a situation they didn’t intended to happen. So, now we have a guy that receives a message from the other guy he likes, using a fake account, seeing said guy he likes, whom he just had two rounds, or possible more, of sex, getting back to the room whistling a song about a friend liking another friend. And considering that, in that scene, it was the first time we were introduced to that song in their story, it gives another meaning to everything, doesn’t?

Now, we need to understand why Puth resorted to such “extreme” measures to talk to Kaeng, if they were already talking normally and it’s not like any other person had access to his phone. If I hadn’t un-hold it the theory of Puth also liking Kaeng from the beginning, that specific scene of the revelation of him being the mysterious man would’ve make me do that on the spot. Taking in consideration that at the time of the unfolding of the events from episode 9 Puth thought that Kaeng was still sleeping around (even if he was suspecting of Kaeng having feelings for him), his own feelings had to be well hidden. However, feelings are sneaky little bitches that the longer you try to suppress them, stronger and hard to hide they become and Puth is an affectionate person with those he likes, so he needed to find a way of getting close to Kaeng without actually getting close to him and what better way of doing that than with a fake profile? That way Puth could’ve be a friend to Kaeng, probably even drop some hints about liking him and see how Kaeng would react to them, establish a connection with him and at the same time avoiding the possibility of getting his feelings rejected in real life, after all if Kaeng was still talking to other potential partners it wasn’t a good omen to him; like I said before, feelings made Puth really dirty.

So, the cat is out of the bag. Puth knows that Kaeng knows that he’s the mysterious man sending him messages and don’t know how to feel about that, so he says that “now Kaeng knows it all, how much he loves him” (adding credibility to my idea of Puth having using the fake account to show that he liked Kaeng) and Kaeng tells Puth that he “doesn’t need to be embarrassed, because it’s cute”, that “he likes it” and then to Puth to “try to speak like in the text” aka being romantic. After this, we had the single most emotionally devastating moment of the entire episode and the perfect way of ending a special episode: Puth looked at Kaeng like the man in front of him was the most precious treasure he had encounter in his life and it is possible to see how he also has Kaeng in his eyes, just like Kaeng have him in his eyes. He takes a deep breath, open and closes his mouth once before saying “Kaeng, I love you”, his eyes shining with love just like Kaeng’s eyes were shining with love in the beginning of the episode, and Kaeng reply with a “I love you too” before they kiss and the episode ends.

I highlighted Kaeng’s name in the love declaration because in this episode, this name had a special weight. Throughout the entirety of the episode, PuthKaeng always used “daddy” and “papi” to refer to themselves, a fact that made me feel more single than I already feel in a daily basis, but when the subject was to tell Kaeng how he feel about him, Puth preferred to use his name, in an almost reverent tone, and tell Kaeng that he loved him. And the way Kaeng’s eyes also shined after listening those words and the soft tone he used to answer Puth…honestly, I can’t deal with them anymore, I’m done.

PuthKaeng has a story more complex than we could’ve ever predict. They are men with complex personalities, insecurities even with their appearances of people secure of what they want, don’t know how to express their feelings but when they do, you know is not something superficial, is the reality. It took them a long time to be together, they almost lost the opportunity to experience the love they have for each other, cried, made mistakes and misunderstood a lot of things. But now that they are together, I am sure that they will make everything in their power to make it work, will solve their problems the best way they can, will continue to support each other, be their best partners, their safe zones and each other’s hearts. After all, the love the have is forever; and even beyond that.

#puth x kaeng #kaeng x puth #y destiny #theory #megapost

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filmwuju · 4 years

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Hi! Firstly, thanks so much for translating the SG’s confession in Ep 10 in such detail! I feel like I understand a lot more because of you and can appreciate the scene better. I think the argument between MJ and SG in front of their hotel rooms in Ep 9 might also have had some missing details because I couldn’t quite understand it. Only if you want to, I’d really appreciate if you can break down that scene too. Thanks!

hello~ i’m really glad to have helped with the confession scene :)

ah, the ep 9 argument scene is a difficult one. i had a hard time understanding too when i watched it. so while trying to break down the conversation, i also seeked help from few native speakers to confirm that my understanding of the lines made sense. hopefully, it would do the scene justice. this might be a long one too... please bear with me.

i’ll just talk about this portion since the other parts were quite straightforward:

the official subtitles:

MJ: Whenever I feel closer to you, it feels as though you push me right back. You didn't seem to like it when I said you put up walls, so I'm rewording it. I'm not upset, so don't take it the wrong way.

SG: But I told you that I don't put up any walls.

MJ: Then why do I feel like I'm outside an invisible wall right now?

SG: I don't want you to be outside those walls that I didn't even put up.

MJ: Likewise.

SG: If I've become too boring, then tell me so.

MJ: It's just that when I'm with you, I feel left out during the most important moments. And that feeling doesn't happen on its own.

a wordier, more literal, and awkward translation of the conversation:

MJ: Whenever I feel like I've gotten closer to you, it feels as though a line was drawn. It seemed like you didn't like the expression of "drawing a line" (when I said it) last time, so I'm wording it as "drawn." I'm not mad/upset, so don't misunderstand.

SG: But I clearly told you that I don't draw (any lines).

MJ: Then/But why do I feel like I'm outside an invisible line, right now?

SG: I don't want you to be outside the line that I didn't even draw.

MJ: That's what I want too! (to not be outside the line)

SG: If I've become boring (for you), just tell me so.

MJ: When I'm with you, I feel like I'm left out/excluded during the crucial moments, that's why. And the feeling of being left out is something that is difficult to be felt (by someone) on (their) own.

whew, i’m not sure if my translation even made sense. i would have to strongly suggest that you read on the detailed explanation to better understand the lines!

first of all, you might have noticed that the phrase “put up walls” is nowhere to be seen in the literal translation. that’s because the korean phrase they literally were using was “draw a/the line.” my understanding of the phrase is to set a boundary (between two people), which basically means the same thing as “put up walls”, but im letting you know the original phrase for your reference.

now onto the detailed break downs!

this translation just doesn’t make a lot of sense even to me, you have to understand the entire context and where mijoo is coming from. i’m not exaggerating when i said i lost sleep over this line. what even is the difference when mijoo changed her expression from drawing a line, to a line was drawn?? anyway, while im sure most of you know this, if you just look at the two phrases on its own, drawing a line is an active action, like someone actually took the initiative to do it. a line was drawn is passive, there is no action taker.

because seon gyeom claimed that he isn’t putting up any boundary between them, so rather than saying “you, seongyeom, drew the line”, mijoo reworded the phrase to “a line was drawn” — something like, “while you did not purposefully, actively draw a line, you or your actions made me feel like a line has been drawn.” while seongyeom did not draw a line, it was due to seongyeom that mijoo felt like a line has been drawn between them.

the feeling of being left out is something that is difficult to be felt by someone on their own. meaning, it is that kind of feeling that you don’t just easily experience on your own. there has to be a cause, a reason, a certain someone or group that did something for you to feel left out. so the way i understood it is, mijoo was indirectly saying that seongyeom is the reason why she felt left out.

so there we have, the two most confusing lines (at least for me) from the conversation, i’ll add just one more perhaps unnecessary explanation just to make sure things are clear!

SG: I don't want you to be outside the line that I didn't even draw. MJ: That's what I want too! (to not be outside the line)

i’m worried that my translation may cause confusions due to the don’t wants and wants, so just to clarify: what seongyeom literally literally said, in a very standard korean sentence structure, was “i hope that you don’t be outside the line that I didn’t even draw.” which mijoo answers with “that’s what i want (to be like) too.”

let me just use this post as an excuse to publicly appreciate siwan and sekyung’s acting skills! i especially love the micro expressions that siwan had during the conversation. the look in his eyes, tiny movement of his brows — they pained me so much because he looked so confused, and maybe even hurt, when finding out about how mijoo felt. also during the entire ep 9, before the argument, his eyes were literally shooting laser beams of hearts and endearment towards her!! i cannot wait to see more from them.

thank you for reading and please do leave me your comments/opinions about the scene, the lines, or just the drama itself!

#chat #run on #run on kdrama #run on jtbc #mi joo x seon gyeom #ki seon gyeom #oh mi joo #im siwan #siwan #shin sekyung #kdramaedit #run on trans

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annaraebananawriter · 3 years

Text

Hands

First off...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SQUID!!!

I honestly had no idea it was his birthday until last night from twitter. I was in the middle of writing this scene, in fact, and realized ‘Hey, you know what? I could probably get this done in time for it!’. Now here we are.

Secondly...This is a scene from one of my WIP’s. It will probably take place somewhere in the middle chapters, but I saw that it was a fairly out of context scene to show that it wouldn’t really matter if I showed it now as a teaser or later.

Obviously, I chose the latter.

That said, this is set to change a bit as the WIP develops, but it’ll be nice to see what you all think of it. Hope you enjoy!

Fandom: Undertale, but specifically UTMV

Pairings: Implied Errorink, or Pre-Errorink

Characters: Error (Who belongs to CQ) and Ink (Who belongs to Comyet)

Warnings: Nothing really. Although, again, it is a scene from a wip, which means that it is not in it’s final form. Let me know!

Word Count: 2488

~oOo~

His phone buzzed on the floor beside him. Ink paused in the middle of trying to balance a pencil on his finger, which was probably a losing battle, but since when has that ever stopped him before? That’s right, never. And it never would. Setting the pencil aside, he checked his phone and read the short message.

mommy-bear

Are you coming home for supper? It’s past 5.

Ink jumped, looking outside to see that, indeed, the sun was lower in the sky and time had in fact passed. They must’ve gotten lost in the throughs of their homework, or the casual avoidance of it, for one of them. Error seems to have made some sort of headway into the work from Mx. Alex. Good for him. He’ll be able to hand it in on Monday without it bugging him in the back of his mind while he ignores that bugging and just doddles instead of doing his work like he should until the next thing he knows it’s almost midnight on Sunday and he still hasn’t gotten it done.

But honestly, who would do that? Certainty not Ink.

Error had also noticed his jump and was looking at him now. “What is it?”

“Just a text from my mom.” He answered, gathering up his things. A glance to his study buddy showed Error blinking and setting down his pencil as well in order to listen. “She was just wondering where I was. It’s after five, y’know? I said I’d be back then.”

“Oh.” Error fell silent after that.

Once his things were all accounted for (he did lose his eraser for a minute there and partially freaked out about it, which was kind of silly as he had plenty more than just this one white one, others that were far more colourful, but he didn’t have to worry for long—Error had silently placed it on the bed for him to grab, making Ink smile in gratitude), Ink walked to the bedroom door and got to the top of the stairs before he realized another pair of footsteps were following him.

Man, Error really needed to take him up on the suggestion of bells. He was too silent on his feet, just too much like a ghost for his liking. Not that he didn’t like ghosts. He just didn’t like people being silent when their walking. It made him paranoid.

Ink turned around. “You know I can just walk myself back, right? I literally live right next door.” He held up one finger. “That’s the house right beside yours.”

Error scowled, just like he always did when Ink pointed things out like that. It was also a reason why he was determined to point things like that out as often as he did, which was rather often. “Don’t be stupid. Of course I know that.”

“Then why are you following me?”

“What if I wasn’t? What if I just decided to get some food? To do that, I’d need to go to the kitchen, which is also downstairs.” He gestured to the passageway to said downstairs. “Those are the only stairs to get there.”

Ink smirked, “You have a box on the top shelf of your closet where you keep all the chocolate you bought, stole, or stole from Fell.” This statement was rewarded with a light blush of embarrassment from Error, who looked around as if to make sure his brothers didn’t overhear.

Ink was sure that they already knew though.

He also suspected that they put chocolate in the box too, as Error was sometimes surprised that there was some there when he had said he had eaten it all.

“I didn’t even say I was getting chocolate! I might be getting something else.”

“You don’t snack on anything but chocolate.” Error’s scowl deepened. “You also sort of admitted to following me” He couldn’t help but laugh when the blush on Error’s skull deepened in realization and his taller friend looked away from him. It was always interesting to see just how much it took to get to this shade of blue, with the yellow freckle-like dots just barely seen overtop. The sight made Ink want to draw it.

He wanted to draw it so badly.

Laughter dying down, Ink tilted his head and smiled at Error. “If you wanted to walk with me, you could’ve just asked.”

For some reason, Error glanced back at him and quickly looked away again, blush deepening again, the yellow becoming brighter. He also started to glitch a little bit, which would normally spark a tiny bit of worry, but he could see that the other wasn’t in any danger, so he had no reason to worry. If the glitches got worse, then he could worry.

That was…pretty much the saying for being friends with him.

‘If the glitches got worse, then you could worry.’

Error burrowed down, like he usually would if he had his scarf on. It was, presumably, back in his room. Weird. The glitch he knew never went anywhere without his scarf; at school, at home, at the café, at the park, walking, sitting, it was always on. Well, it probably came off at home. Here he was with his family, a safe, happy environment away from the judging eyes of school and the city. He could be himself here. That’s an assumption, at least, hopefully the right one. Ink didn’t know the relationship between skeleton and scarf and never asked, never would talk about it until, or if, Error brought it up. He wanted to respect his privacy, after all.

But now that he thought about it, the scarf had been coming off around him lately. It had started off small. It started with it being up to his mouth, almost as if a way to hide or be smaller than he was. That was how it was for a while. Then one morning, it was down just a bit, just under his mouth. And as the days passed and the two talked more and became friends, the scarf would be lower and lower. Down to the chin in Math. Under the chin the next day. Around his neck a week later in English class.

It was almost like earning his trust. He had earned Error’s trust, which meant that he got to see the skeleton behind the scarf. The true, unshielded one.

It was…kind of nice, to be honest.

Ink blinked, coming back to himself and realizing that Error had mumbled something.

“Sorry, what?”

Error looked back at him and sighed a little before speaking up just enough so that Ink could hear. “I said, can I…walk with you?” His arms went in front of him. Ink guessed that it was a temporary shield in place of the scarf.

He was prepared to be rejected and just walk back to his room.

Well, Ink couldn’t have that, now could he?

“Of course!” The smile on his face widened and he started down the stairs with lighter steps. It was always nice when friends offered to walk you home or something of the sort. The walk was less lonely, even if you never spoke a word.

It’s just how it was.

They talked in the small time it took to get from Error’s house to Ink’s. Well, that wasn’t really true. Ink did most of the talking, which ended up being mostly complaints about homework and school and also talk about his works in progresses. Error just listened quietly, humming or nodding in certain spots. He would like to think that Ink could talk about nothing at all and Error would listen. It just seemed to be the way he was.

Their friendship was a good one. Maybe there were a few unbalances here and there, but overall, it was good and healthy and, most importantly, mutual. It benefited both of them in different ways. Ink had someone who would listen without interrupting, who cared about his interest and how he felt, even though he didn’t have a soul and relied on substitutes. Error had someone who didn’t pressure him into a conversation, who gave him and respected his personal space and asked before touching his things and body. It was like a missing piece just fell into place, so perfect, it felt like it hadn’t been missing at all.

That said, there were some hurdles.

Like how Ink was soulless. There was always that thought, loud or quiet, one that questioned whether the love he felt towards his friends and family was real. Or if he was just deluding himself and everyone around him into thinking that they were. This thought had always been there, since before Dream and Blue, before Error, before anyone he was with now—what if it was all fake?

It was kind of silly. The substitutes he took acted as a soul. It supplied him his soul magic, the working parts of his body and the emotion spectrum. He may not feel things as intensely as others and may be lacking a feeling in a certain way, but that didn’t mean they weren’t real. They’re substitutes for a reason, after all.

…Ah! They’ve arrived at his house.

Ink blinked, stopping on the first step and turning back to Error. “So…” he said, finding himself unable to think of what else to say. He shifted awkwardly and cleared his throat. “I’ll see you next Friday?” He tried to think back on what else was going on in school. “We have some sort of project to do or test to study for, right?”

Error nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” He fell silent too, but didn’t leave like Ink had expected. He lingered, clearly thinking about something with the way his arms slightly glitched around. He didn’t say anything, though.

“Anything else?” Ink asked, trying to prompt him.

The blush, which had died down as they walked over here, brightened again. “Um…yeah, actually.” Error straightened and fiddled with his sleeve. “Do you remember the lesson we had…I think it was a month ago? In Health?”

Ink rocked on his heels as he thought. It was times like these that he cursed his memory. A month ago…a month ago…he didn’t really remember a lot of the lessons from a month ago. But the ones that he did… “Do you mean the one about the different types of intimacy? I only recall that it was about intimacy, nothing specific.”

“Yeah…yeah, that’s the one.”

“Okay…why is it important?” Curious. Error rarely asked him if he could remember a lesson from as long as a month ago. He knew how bad Ink’s memory was, so why did he ask? And why now, of all times?

“I, uh…w-well…” Error stuttered. Error didn’t normally stutter. It was only when he glitched really badly and was on the verge of crashing that he stuttered, or lagged, as he liked to call it. Normally, though, he spoke fine, if quiet and almost echoey.

Speaking of glitches…the ones on his arms had quickened up a little. Not enough to be too worrying yet, but definitely something to watch over.

Frowning, Ink was just about to bring that to attention when Error spoke again, voice clearer. “Just…can you…raise your hand?” He slowly brought up a hand with the inside facing Ink, like he was to high-five someone. “Like this?”

Ink eyed him suspiciously.

One of the first things he had learned about Error was that the other had haphephobia. He couldn’t stand people touching him, as it usually caused a flurry of glitches in the touched spot, and sometimes it was so bad that the minute someone touched him, he crashed. Those days were few, but they have happened. Ink had been lucky that it hasn’t happened since meeting Error. But this fact he had taken in and committed to memory, determined to not trigger his friend like that.

He would hate himself, if he did.

But now Error was asking him to raise his hand? For what? He couldn’t see them high-fiving. It would be too painful for Error and frankly a bit of a reach for Ink (he hated being short like that). And because it would be painful, he couldn’t see why he had to raise his hand.

But he was curious.

Curiosity usually made his answers for him.

Just as slowly as Error did, Ink raised his hand, mirroring the one in front of him.

Error inhaled and…

Ink’s mind froze.

He could barely focus on Error stepping closer as excitement and happiness began to take over. The urge to squeal was overwhelming, but he reigned himself in as he knew that wouldn’t help Error at all. It would probably just make him run away and never come near Ink again. And he didn’t want that. So, he forced himself to stay still and stay quiet, eyes focused on the hand that started to come closer and closer to his.

He could see the black bones begin to glitch a ton and felt a spark of worry—despite what might just happen, he didn’t want Error to hurt himself. He would never want him to—he should speak up now. He should tell Error to stop and calm down.

They didn’t have to do it like this.

They didn’t even have to touch at all!

They didn’t…have to…

It was…warm.

Fuzzy.

The hands contrasted starkly and they would be stunning in a painting. The white of Inks and the black of Errors. They were different, but they looked so well together.

This…This had to be a dream.

But it wasn’t. There was a light touch to his bones, just enough to know that the hand against his was, in fact, against his and trembling ever so slightly and actually existed in the world and not just his imagination. Somehow, this made it even more surreal. He knew it was real…but he just couldn’t believe it.

If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.

Despite his promise to stay still, Ink shakily inhaled.

And just like that, the spell was broken.

Error retracted his hand and walked away quickly. Ink was slow to realize what was happening and so by the time his hand was up and the name of his tongue, his friend was already gone. He stood there with his arm outstretched, gazing at the house next door blankly.

He slowly looked down at his hand.

It still tingled.

Gently wrapping his other hand around it, not daring to actually touch, he brought the hands closer to his chest, right over where his soul would be.

It felt like something should be beating wildly in there.

It felt like some new emotion had been lodged in his substitutes.

And somehow, it felt like that contact, the light touch of hands, was far more intimate than a kiss had ever and would ever be.

#my writing #my fanfiction #oneshot #teaser #errorink #implied errorink #pre-errorink #error sans #ink sans #utmv #fluff #happy birthday ink!

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ihatetaxes99 · 3 years

Text

A Brief Retrospective Look At MVA (In The Anime)

Well. Here we are. Every end of the time is another begun. After what has felt like years of anticipation (mostly because it actually has been years), My Villain Academia has been fully animated. Well, "fully" may be the wrong word here, but that's something I'll get into later.

To honour the end of the arc, I decided to do two things: One, I re-read the entirety of the arc in the manga all in one sitting; Two, I rewatched all five episodes of the anime's adaptation back to back once again. My life is pain and I know not of sleep. Anyway, the reason I did this is because of a little project I proposed to myself back just before the first episode aired; Once MVA was done and dusted, I would go back and give my own retrospective on the whole thing. Because why the hell not, sounds like fun. This will also hopefully be less emotional than my thoughts I shared as the episodes were still airing, but who knows?

So, let's begin. And I wish to start by stating that My Villain Academia is my absolute favourite arc in the manga. It did a lot of things right. It focused entirely on my favourite faction, the villains. It offers a glimpse into their lives and goes a long way in humanising them, particularly Spinner and Shigaraki. It sets up key points for others too, such as Mr. Compress' habit of thinking more about the bigger picture than the others, which would factor into his major reveal during the Paranormal Liberation War and of course the formation of the Front itself. It introduced us to Rikiya Yotsubashi, one of my favourite characters in the manga, even if he honestly peaked in this arc and was never as good again. And it gave us a large-scale, grueling fight for supremacy in which I found myself actively rooting for the League. It is, in my mind, the very best of BNHA, the only arc I would want them to do well in the anime. They could screw up literally everything else and I would be happy if MVA was even just as good as the manga, it didn't even need to be better. I would have been delighted to have an excuse to experience the arc all over again, seeing my favourite moments with the sublime soundtrack and voice acting.

Yeah…

But before I get to that, let us take a little trip of sorts down memory lane to see the road to MVA, what led to it. So, 2021 rolls around. What a fun year. It's just 2020 without the excitement of everything being so uncertain, and frankly it's been really fucking boring as a year. However, BNHA Season Five was announced. In February, we get the first trailer for the upcoming season. It's... It's fine. Obviously, it focuses heavily on the Joint Training Arc (in fact, that is all it shows) and although I despise that arc with a passion, it's not too bad. I had not watched the anime since Overhaul ended, so my plan was I just wouldn't watch JTA and would wait until the big attraction, MVA. And so, Joint Training starts. And it goes on. And on. And on. I checked back almost two months later to discover it still wasn't over yet. Now I found this odd. Joint Training Arc was horrible for many reasons, but the big one was that it dragged on for so long as a result of Horikoshi's health complications, which is by no means his fault. But, surely the anime, which would consistently release on a weekly basis, wouldn't have the issues associated with this. Episodes of BNHA have always encompassed around three to five chapters, and Joint Training's were shorter than usual, so why was it taking more than ten episodes to adapt it?

Very strange, but I didn't question it much. Then, the key visuals released, confirming that MVA was at the very least happening. Great, wonderful. I love it. We've got the whole gang there, seeming like they're in Deika, looks pretty good.

Wait, did I say whole gang? Yeah, my bad, there was someone missing. Spinner. Now, I am not the biggest Spinner fan so I wasn't prepared to riot over his exclusion like I would have been if Compress wasn't in it. But this was starting to get strange. Spinner was the main narrator of MVA. Even if his importance was not on the level of Shigaraki, Twice and Toga, it was certainly more than Dabi and Compress, who did both appear in the art. Why was he excluded? Obviously, I bet you're all having a good old chuckle to yourselves right now because in retrospect, this makes perfect sense now.

Alright, then. I heard from a friend around June time that Joint Training was finally over. Awesome, great, time for the good stuff- why is there a Christmas episode here?

Yes, this was probably what really started to get the alarm bells in my mind going. The Christmas episode- in June. Very, very strange. Also, absolutely no mention of Rikiya, which even if they were reshuffling things, I would have expected him to appear in the episode of Bakugo and Todoroki getting their licenses, since it directly ties in. Concern levels rising, I shrugged it off and waited for next week.

Bam. Major reshuffling. Now, Endeavour Agency comes first, fuck you if you want context for who the hell the PLF are or the significance of Destro's memoirs. This was really starting to worry me now. I told myself that the key visual meant that MVA had to be happening, but it was starting to seem like the villains were being shafted. A fact not helped by the new OP.

Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to complain or whine, but season five's second OP is just bad. The music is fine, I have no problem there. But the visuals are just awful. Not only is there an extended focus on that stupid bloody trio of Midoriya, Bakugo and Todoroki, not only is there more screentime given to characters who don't appear in MVA or EA than the main cast of the former, but the animation itself is just so stiff and lacking. It had potential, but the visuals are the worst out of any recent anime opening I've seen in a good few years and this was what got me really panicking.

Boom, a beach episode smack in the middle of Endeavour Agency to promote the upcoming movie. Boom, adapting two chapters per episode during EA. Boom, the Shirakumo episode, which I always thought was part of the War Arc and not EA. But finally, mercifully, the title leaks came and it was revealed that episode 20 of season five would be the start of MVA.

20. Out of 25. And it was pretty obvious that they weren't going to end the season with MVA, so really, up to 24. Ohhh no…

But hey, I'm an optimist sometimes. I was excited to just finally be clear of all this nonsense and get to the real good stuff. Hell, in preparation, I watched the entirety of the season up to that point. I finally realised why JTA took so long and it's one of the most depressing things I've ever learned, in a bad way. Were all those flashbacks really necessary? EA was okay, as someone who as a manga reader, already had the necessary context for the PLF stuff. The beach episode, I watched half of, got too bored and skipped the rest of. And you know what, I liked the Shirakumo chapters. They weren't as good in the anime, but it was nice to see.

And then, finally, in comes episode one of My Villain Academia, on a cold, dark August morning. I even bought Crunchyroll Premium to watch it as soon as possible, I was excited. All the messing around, all the crap, it was finally over and the time had come to enjoy what this season was really all about.

I can now safely say why Bones kept pushing back MVA, because if I was them, I would be embarrassed to show this.

No, that's not fair. I promised I wouldn't get too snarky, so let's reek things back in. As a whole, MVA has been… fine. Just fine. Not good enough to justify the bullshit, but not horrendous (mostly.) In fact, right now, I'll give a ranking of the episodes, my worst to best:

5) Episode One

4) Episode Two

3) Episode Three

2) Episode Five

1) Episode Four

Yeah. So, there's a clear pattern here, that things more or less got better as time went on. From just straight up bad, to still not great, to alright, to the final two episodes being what I would comfortably call good. This is not a good look. I'm sorry, but Episode One, an episode that I just called bad, is still one of the season's best in spite of that. That spells out awful things for this season as a whole. But what exactly made this such a disaster?

Well, cut content is the big thing. MVA in the anime cuts out:

The League's battle with the CRC

Their struggle with poverty

The sushi joke setup

All of Spinner's character

All of Rikiya's character, including most mentions of Detnerat and Miyashita

Fairly integral pieces of Skeptic's character

Most of Giran's integrity and bravery

This doesn't look too bad at first. It could be far worse. We got basically everything else from the arc, so what? Well, I would already be annoyed about all of these cuts, but the issue is that they cause a knock on effect. Without the establishment of the League's poverty, the payoff of Toga's duffle coat now makes no sense. Without the setup of Spinner's characterisation, his battle with Hanabata now feels hollow. Rikiya's surrender to the League now makes even less sense, as his love of human life and desire to cause no more death is completely non-existent. The first time Rikiya being a CEO is mentioned is in the closing minutes of the arc. The sushi scene is hamfisted into a two second flashback just so that the payoff makes some sort of sense, but again, it is hollow without it being at the start (this is also the first mention of the League's poverty and it literally happens just as they are freed from it.) Can you see how these little seemingly unimportant cuts spiral into bigger problems? I would have been pissed even if they hadn't caused some tremendous cascades, but the fact that they did just makes this from a subjective issue to an objective one.

Yes. They did some things well. Toga's backstory is mostly intact, SMP is just as satisfying as the manga, Tenko's backstory is one of the best things the anime has ever done, the awakening is very well done, I adore the PLF formation as much as I did in the manga. Everything important is intact, but as I keep saying, you cannot just keep the bare minimum and expect it to work. How about in the next arc, they decide to cut everything involving Bakugo out, and only keep him jumping in front of Midoriya because it's the only absolutely necessary thing he does in the arc? People would be pissed, and it's the same thing that's happening here. It's a problem, it's not just a bad adaptation, it leads to bad storytelling in general.

The animation. Now, I do not believe this is a be all, end all. BNHA's anime is never going to look as gorgeous as Horikoshi's art, that is a fact and I do not begrudge them for that. They have a week to draw hundreds upon hundreds of frames, it's not a process that lends itself well to good looks and the animators and artists do their best with what they have. This does not change the fact that it is extremely hit or miss. Some things, Tenko's backstory in particular, look fantastic. Other things, mostly every action scene, make me laugh at how bad they can look and some things, particularly Twice and Re-Destro's hideous designs in the anime, make me cringe. The lighting is also an issue. Garaki's lab looked fantastic, but every other scene is just boring mid-afternoon with dull, basic lighting. I don't expect huge detail, but sometimes, it fails to achieve competency and as an extremely popular show, I don't think that's okay. I don't blame the animators, I blame the higher ups. And while I wouldn't mind the poor animation and art in an MVA that at least has all the story content, this does not have that and so I am even harsher than I would have been.

MVA was rushed. That's not up for debate. It took forever to get to it and once it came, things moved so quickly that they gave me whiplash, with no time to think or lament. Now, this could be attributed to the story structure of the arc, which is essentially a series of big fights, and it just isn't as bad in the manga because I can stop at any time to catch my breath. But I think it's worth noting that the anime at least highlights these issues. Curious dies in the same episode where she first appears, really driving home how pointless she was in the end. Episode Two alone tries to cover everything from the journey to Deika up until Jin finding Toga's body. That's a lot of content to fit in one twenty minute period and it was bound to feel messy in the end. I will say that, much like everything aside from the animation, this did get better as time went on, with episodes three, four and five adapting more reasonable amounts of content, compared to one giving us almost nothing and two giving us too much.

At the end of the day, that was it. The show's over. MVA has been closed in the anime. It will never be given a chance to improve, to go from just fine to anything even close to the manga. Why did this happen? I don't think we'll ever truly know. Some blame the new movie, others the studio's lack of faith in the villains, and there are those who say that it's just how fate turned out. I personally think it's a combination of all of these things. Without the movie, that beach episode wouldn't exist, giving more time to MVA, without the studio's hesitation, we'd perhaps get stuff like an actual good OP and perhaps some more general hype for it (I mean, MVA didn't even get a trailer.) Whatever the reason is, we got what we got. My verdict is something that's very overplayed as of late, but seriously, just read the manga with the fantastic soundtrack playing in the background. The anime's adaptation of MVA is not worth the time investment, when you could read the manga in roughly the same length of time and get more content, a more coherent plot and beautiful artwork.

So, what may come next for Season Six? I don't know. Season Five has definitely been one of the most unpopular seasons in the anime, with a lot of people speaking out against it, but this mostly seems to come from the Western fanbase, so it's up in the air if Bones will learn from their mistakes. Since they'll have a full season to do presumably the War and Rouge Deku arcs, then I feel like they'll put on a better show. But we just don't know. Spinner had his spotlight stolen this time around, will Compress suffer the same fate in Season Six? Dabi and Toga will probably be handled well, since they have inexplicably high amounts of popularity, but with his own lack of recognition rivalling Spinner's, I can see Sako ending up much the same way. Time will tell, I suppose.

#my villain academia #mva #league of villains #Meta Liberation Army #studio bones #bnha season 5

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fandomsilhouette · 4 years

Text

they’ve got a bad reputation (they’ll get a standing ovation)

The spotlight clicks on, floods the stage until the shadows are sent scampering away, every flaw and every fear in sharp contrast for the audience to feast upon; but what horrors lurk where the darkness prowls, trapped at the edges of the script like handcuffs around the actor? May life mirror art at the best of times, the worst of times.

Happy @felinettenovember, y’all! We’re back to terrible o’clock writing times with @musicfren, who is collaborating with me on this fic-turned-mechanism-through-which-to-preach-on-the-spot-Hamlet-analysis. He’ll be posting the second part on his account tomorrow, during which the bulk of my meta nonsense is going to come through. Are you following him yet? @emzurl spoiled this whole story with their art and @dumpsdoods simply spoils me with theirs.

Part 1 below. Part 2 upcoming.

“Alright, take ten, my dudes! We’ll go from Act III, Scene 1 after you get some snacks and chill.”

Marinette lets out an amused laugh as she thumbs through her copy of the script, ignoring the throng of hungry students pushing past her, desperate for this grueling 5 hour rehearsal to end. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but certainly not of this play. Nino makes a good director, she thinkst: loud, relentlessly positive, able to carry the sagging energy of an entire unwilling highschool production on his shoulders.

But alas, poor Nino is fighting a losing battle. Everyone knows that the point of this play is the obligatory report they will all have to write for their literature class at the end of the week. Almost no one here can act, and Marinette’s arms are beginning to grow tired from carrying up the entire play. With scarcely a week left it looks like most people are planning to coast the rest of the way to a clean C+. The part of Hamlet still has not been cast.

Akuma attacks have pushed back the discussions they were meant to have on the play, and Bustier couldn’t cancel the major assignment for the unit; instead, she had told them to analyze the play through the role of their choice after embodying it for the few weeks it took to rehearse and perform the production. Their in-class discussions have been condensed into a take-home paper on top of the already obligatory theatre performance and pretty much everyone knows that Bustier would be lenient on them just for that. And Nino knows they know, and Marinette is starting to suspect that he is itching to “chill” like he keeps telling them to.

Marinette chews on the corner of her pencil, running a finger over the veritable bloodbath of neat pink notes she’s crammed into the margins of every page. She’s on in the next scene, and she wants to make sure she’s got all the nuances of the character, her character, exactly as she plans to bring her to life. Looking over the script, Marinette starts to regret not typing the notes to begin with: her entire essay is definitely already fully composed. Maybe Max will consider building her an application that can scan the document and transpose it to a word processor as editable text…

“Give me your hand, if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends.”

Marinette looks up to see Felix quoting Shakespeare, trying very hard to look inconspicuous in his black stage-hand clothes, wheeling a stand of fake swords almost as tall as he was. She watches with some amusement as he struggles to set it upright, and makes absolutely no move to help him.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you on stage any time this week,” she says, sticking her tongue out and being far cuter than it had any right to be. Felix, sweating, scrambles for a riposte.

“I hadn’t expected you out of the home ec room at all. Shouldn’t you be half-drowned in fabric or something?”

She sends him a quizzical look. He wonders if the akuma attacks have scrambled her memory. “Because...you’ve got costumes to work on? As the play’s costume designer?”

“Oh, I’m not doing costumes this year, actually.” Marinette laughs awkwardly. “I’m not even sure what I would write about if I were.”

Felix stares at her. The sword he was carrying slid out of his grasp with a dull clang.

“...what are you writing about as a stagehand?”

Felix decides to pretend the last few moments were a fever dream and focus on answering this one very reasonable question. “I’m looking at the blocking and the prop placement and the lighting and how it impacts the effect of the character portrayal on the audience and what information manages to get conveyed to the audience.”

Marinette offers a suitably impressed ooh at this. “How far have you gotten with it?”

“Darling, we don’t even have a Hamlet. The titular character. I’ve done nothing.” Felix offers the most deadpan look he can muster and startles at her giggle. “What, how far have you gotten?!”

Marinette flashes her script at him, more notes than dialogue at this point.

“You are possibly the only person in the class thinking anything even remotely deep about this play. What is all that for?!”

“Hopefully for a handwritten notes to editable text conversion app.”

Felix only narrowly avoids gaping. What?! “...is that what’s scrawled on every corner of that script you’re clutching?” He grins crookedly at her, and her traitorous heart skips a beat.

“...oh! no, um, those are my notes. For… my essay? I’ve written out the character analyses into where the text supports my arguments and… um… yeah.” She flushes with the realization that 1) that was completely out of context for him because 2) he cannot, in fact, read her mind.

“...Marinette, for what do you possibly need notes?”

“...to play my character?”

“Oh, wow, are you playing a guy? Impressive, tiny girl.” He rakes his gaze down her body and Marinette is flushed for a whole new reason now. She pushes to her feet and doesn’t bother to care about the swords she knocks over.

“I’m not, actually.”

“Why?! Who is there to play among the female characters? Marinette, I took you as someone who plays characters of worth.”

She looks up at him, eyes wide with dangerous innocence “Are female characters not valuable?”

“I-- no, that’s not what I meant and you know it! Shakespeare is historical, and male-centric, and writes women who do little more than parrot the views of the men around them if they get any dialogue at all. There’s no substance there! Who are you possibly going to play, Gertrude? Ophelia?!?” Felix’s tone makes it very clear what he thinks of the only two options she has available to her.

Marinette sweeps past him coolly, her hair whipping against his cheek. “I am playing Ophelia, actually.”

Stumbling, Felix turns and gives her a wry grin. “Oh darn, I’m sorry for your loss.” He makes a valiant effort at replicating her stuck out tongue, not that Marinette is looking. It’s for the best: it’s not nearly as cute on him.

“Excuse you?” Marinette halts in her tracks, shadowed amongst the heavy curtains of stageside. Her voice echoes hauntingly around the empty theatre.

“...c’mon. Ophelia does less than Gertrude. She even has fewer lines!”

With great restraint, Marinette manages to do nothing more than turn to face Felix, trembling with repressed rage. “Does less? Ophelia is the only person in this play who does anything at all that isn’t driven by a madman’s plot! Ophelia is the only person in this play who can pull Hamlet out of insanity, even if for little more than a moment.”

Frustrated, Felix tosses the nearest item at her and growls when she catches it neatly. It’s a victory when she stalks off across the stage to the opposite wing, gathering her notes and settling herself neatly in a prim fury. She’s wrong, she’s wrong, she’s wrong. He whirls around and starts rearranging everything she knocked over, grumbling under his breath.

“Ophelia is the only character in that play who makes zero choices of her own. Even her death was a result of her tripping into a lake.”

There’s a crashing sound, and Felix spins back around to see Marinette bolt upright, tempestuous in her temper. Felix may have gotten a bit too loud with that last statement.

“How can you say that? That’s the most significant choice she makes in the whole play!”

Felix can feel the irritation rising, hot and ugly in his chest. Why is she being so stubborn? Marinette makes a gesture at him, quick and angry from the other side of the room. Felix squints and tilts his head, struggling to what she was doing from across the stage. Then all at once it hits him.

“Do… do you bite your thumb at me?!” He splutters in indignant incoherency, his grip tightening on whatever he’s holding until the plastic grooves bite into his skin.

“I do bite my thumb at thee, sir.”

Felix steps onto stage, glaring. Marinette matches him step for step, glare for angry glare. Nino gasps, cowers, and then grabs his camera.

The class, milling around aimlessly as their ten minutes ticked to an end, comes to a collective halt. Nino sheppards them out of the way of the camera’s shot. They flock without protest to the edges of the theatre, terrified to watch this trainwreck unfold, terrified they’ll miss even a second of it. The die has been cast. Who now the price of his dear blood doth owe?

Nino can only hope that the set backgrounds manage to come out of this intact.

#Notte Writes #Notte Collabs #Fanfiction #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #ML #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous: Adventures Of Ladybug And Chat Noir #Felix #PV Felix #Felix Agreste #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Felix/Marinette #Felinette #Theatre Consistent Dramatics #Grievous Insults (To A Nerd)#Meta Parallels To Hamlet #Fluff #Felinette Month 2020 Day 14 #Felinette Month 2020

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naminethewriter · 4 years

Text

Breaking The News

Second Part of the Remus and His Daughter Series ⬅First | Next➡

Here on Ao3

Characters: Patton, Roman, Virgil, Logan

Relationships: platonic LAMP

Rating: T

Words: 2,665

Summary: After Patton's encounter with Remus, he has to tell his friends about it. It's not as easy as it sounds.

While Patton was searching through his pockets to find his keys, he could already hear Roman inside. Most likely he was practicing his lines for his new show that would premier next month. Roman was the lead (which wasn’t a surprise anymore at this point) and when he’d come home with the news, a huge smile on his lips, Patton had given him a bear hug, baked a cake and called Virgil and Logan over for a celebration (you know, like they did every time). Patton was pretty sure that by now, Roman not only knew his own lines but almost the entire play by heart but he guessed a little extra practice never hurt anyone. Plus he loved watching Roman perform, even if it was just rehearsal.

Finally Patton located his keys, pushed them into the lock and opened the door. After closing it behind him, he hung his keys on their hook on the wall. He slipped out of his shoes and hung up his jacket on the coat rack. (He hadn’t really needed it – it was warm enough – but better be safe than sorry!)

“I’m home!” Patton called into the now quiet apartment; Roman must’ve heard the door. A moment later, his head appeared in the entrance of their living room.

“Welcome back, padre! Perfect timing, too. There are a few lines I’d like to run by you if you don’t mind?” Roman asked, giving him a puppy look he knew Patton couldn’t refuse. Not that he wanted to. Actually he was glad to be given an excuse to postpone the discussion about his earlier encounter with Remus until later.

“Sure, kiddo! Just let me slip into something more comfortable and grab a snack,” Patton said cheerfully.

“Great!” Roman disappeared back into the living room while Patton went to his own room.

A few minutes later, Patton entered their living room, now dressed in a loose sweater and long skirt with a plate of apple slices (the healthy snack) and cookies (the tasty snack). Roman was pacing up and down, staring at his script and muttering under his breath. With a fond smile, Patton sat down on their couch.

“Alright, Super Star! Lay it on me!” Roman grinned at him and handed him the script.

“Wonderful! So in this scene…” Roman began to enthusiastically explain the context of the lines he wanted to work through, occasionally drifting off into sub-plots or character analysis, making his explanation longer than it needed to be. But Patton didn’t mind. He listened with rapt attention, asked a few questions here and there and slowly ate his snacks. After around 40 minutes, Roman put his pen down after writing the last few notes, looked them over and gave a satisfied nod.

“Thank you so much, padre. I feel much better about this part now!”

“You’re welcome,” Patton said with a smile on his lips. “Glad I could be of help!”

“You always are!” Roman pulled Patton into a hug that he gladly reciprocated. “But I think it is time we prepare for game night. Logan and Virgil are gonna come down in less than an hour!” Patton glanced at the clock and saw that he was right. Roman had let go of him and started to clean up a bit. Patton joined him, fixing the couch while worrying his bottom lip. Should he tell Roman now? Having to repeat himself would be inconvenient but he couldn’t tell how Roman would react to knowing Remus was back. Sure they fought last time they’d seen each other but they were still brothers, right? Roman still cared for Remus, didn’t he?

Patton had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t realised that he had stopped smoothing out the couch pillows until Roman called out to him.

“Patton? Are you alright?” He hovered a few steps away, unsure if he was allowed to touch, worry etched on his face. Patton blinked at him, surprised. He tried to smile reassuringly but he could see Roman’s brows furrowing, so he probably failed.

“I’m fine, it’s just…” He trailed off, fiddling with the pillow in his hands. Most likely Roman would get mad on instinct, like always when Remus was mentioned. So it would probably be for the best to give him some time to cool down before the others arrived and then he could give a more detailed explanation. He looked to Roman who was patiently waiting for him to continue. Patton took a deep breath.

“I saw Remus today.” Cautiously, he observed his roommate’s reaction. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Roman was frozen, his worry for Patton still on his face. Then, as if time needed to catch up, many other emotions flickered through his eyes, only a handful of which Patton could catch. There was anger, of course, totally expected but also confusion, sorrow (maybe?) and even a slight sliver of hope. Or maybe that was Patton’s wishful thinking. Finally he settled on, what Patton could best describe as, displeasure.

“Where?”

“The mall, on my way back. We didn’t speak though.” Roman gave a sharp nod.

“I see. Probably for the best. Doubt he’d have anything nice to say anyway,” he practically spit out. Patton wanted to disagree but Roman continued before he could.

“I’m gonna go change now.” He left, leaving no room for protest. Not that Patton had wanted to. Roman needed time to process, he got that. It had been the right decision, to tell him first. Patton put the pillow down, gave the room a once-over and, deeming it presentable, moved to the kitchen to prepare a simple dinner for the four of them.

By the time Logan and Virgil arrived, Roman still hadn’t come out of his room. The food was nearly ready when Patton let their two friends in, giving both of them a hug before hurrying back into the kitchen. The other two followed after him. Logan moved to help set the table while Virgil remained by the door, looking around.

“Where’s Princey?”

“In his room. He wanted to change.” Virgil nodded, relaxing a bit. Normally Roman would have greeted them at the door as well and the deviation from their routine had caused his anxiety to spike. But hearing Patton’s reassurance eased it again. The three of them together finished preparing dinner and once they were nearly done, Patton asked Virgil to get Roman. He left with a grumble. Logan and Patton finished up and sat down in silence which made it easy to hear the exchange down the hall.

“Yo, Prince Fancypants” A knock (or maybe a kick, hopefully not) echoed. “Dinner’s ready, you ‘coming?” A muffled response, barely audible from the table before a door opened.

“Greetings, Emo-Nemo, how nice to have you almost break my door down!” Roman sounded alright, in Patton’s opinion, maybe he wasn’t as worked up as he had feared.

“Emo-Nemo? Seriously? Also I only kicked your door once, if it broke from that it’s just as weak as that nickname.” They continued their banter on the way back to the table where Roman greeted Logan with his usual gusto but Patton noticed he was avoiding looking at him. It stung a bit, but Patton understood. Remus was a sore subject for all of them and he did bring it up out of nowhere. So he kept on smiling and they fell into pleasant conversation over dinner. Toward the end however, Patton grew quiet, trying to plan out what he was going to say, even if that was never his strong suit. Logan noticed.

“Are you alright, Patton?” he asked. “You seemed somewhat distracted since we have arrived.” Suddenly everyone’s eyes were on him. Being the centre of attention was another thing that Patton couldn’t count toward his strengths but at one point this evening it would have been necessary anyway. Better now when it seemed like everyone had finished eating. Patton took a deep breath.

“Well…” He paused, all his preparation flying out of the window when he couldn’t find the right words. “There is something I need to tell you.” He spoke slowly, carefully. Logan raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt. “Something happened on my way home and…” He didn’t get any further because Virgil suddenly sat up straight, eyes wide which startled him into silence.

“Shit, Pat, did someone attack you? I should’ve gone with you, I had a bad feeling through our shift, but I didn’t think…” Logan placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively stopping his rant, his breathing now a bit rapid.

“Deep breaths, Virgil. I am sure if Patton had sustained any form of physical or emotional trauma we would have been informed earlier.” Virgil nodded, the movement still a bit too sharp but he followed Logan’s breathing to calm back down.

“Yeah, kiddo, I promise it’s nothing bad, it’s just –“ Patton stole a glance at Roman, who had his gaze fixed away from all of them, mouth set in a hard line. “– complicated.” Logan’s eyes flickered between the two of them, apparently picking up on the tension but choosing not to comment.

“Alright…” Virgil said, sounding not completely convinced but at least he was breathing evenly again. Patton cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. ‘Just rip the bandage off, come on,’ he thought to himself before taking a deep breath.

“I walked back from work through the mall again today,” he began, “to window shop, y’know, maybe visit the shelter, like I do sometimes.” He swallowed, staring at his dirty plate to avoid eye contact, his hands fiddling with a crease on his skirt. “And I ran into Remus, well not literally, I just saw him from across the hall and we didn’t even speak, but…”

“Hold on!” Virgil interrupted again, but not in panic this time. “You mean Remus as in –“ He pointed at Roman. “– his twin brother, Remus?”

“Yeah.”

“What? How? When? Why?!?” Virgil sputtered loudly.

“Erm…” Patton was confused by the barrage of questions.

“None of those questions are relevant right now, Virgil, especially since he has already told us when and how and cannot answer why. It seems to have been a complete coincidence, am I correct, Patton?”

“Oh, um, yeah. He seemed to be as surprised to see me as I him at least.”

“So he did see you? You said you did not speak to him, I assumed he didn’t notice you,” Logan said and adjusted his glasses.

“No, he did see me, he was just otherwise occupied.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Virgil asked, exasperated. Roman scoffed.

“He was probably flirting with some poor fellow; you know how he is.”

“Actually, it was pretty much the opposite…”

“Someone was flirting with him..?” asked Virgil, now unsure.

“No, no flirting whatsoever. He was there with a kid.”

“What he’s hanging out with teenagers now?” Roman rolled his eyes. “Not that surprising, honestly, he was always immature.”

“Could you two please just let Patton finish his explanation?” Logan cut in, his tone sharp. Virgil looked a bit sheepish and Roman scoffed again, avoiding eye contact once more but neither said anything else. Logan motioned for Patton to continue.

“When I first noticed him, he was standing alone further down the hall and on the other side, staring at something I couldn’t see. I was so caught off guard that I ended up staring.” Patton once again started nervously fiddling with his skirt. “Suddenly he crouched down and this little girl, maybe ten years old, came up to him with ice cream. He picks her up, sees me and we awkwardly wave at each other before the two of them disappear into the crowd.” He helplessly shrugs at the end of his explanation and waits for the others to react.

For several moments there was silence.

“Great!” Roman suddenly said loudly, throwing his arms up dramatically. “My brother’s a kidnapper now, just wonderful.” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“You believe he kidnapped her? For what reason would he do that?”

“How should I know? I haven’t known what goes on in his head since we were nine! But as if there are any children who would spend time with Remus willingly.” Patton opened his mouth to protest but Virgil spoke first.

“Do you think she’s the only one or are there more?”

“Could be! I wouldn’t put it past him. He gets obsessed with the weirdest stuff.”

“His ‘obsessions’, as you call them, were always academical in nature, he never would inflict any harm on others, intentionally. If he needed a test subject, he would always use himself before anyone else,” Logan protested.

“And how do you know that, Mr. Research Assistant? I’ve known him my entire life and even I don’t know the boundaries of his insanity! He might not even have any!”

“You are being ridiculous, Roman. Just because you don not like him, you cannot just assume that he would harm children for some sort of thrill or –“

“Maybe we should call the police.”

“See, Virgil’s on my side.”

“I mean, just as a precaution, he might be dangerous.”

“You are working off assumptions from five years ago, you cannot –“

“Oh shut it, Specs, the police can at least make sure he’s not harming anyone –“

“Nobody’s calling the police!” Patton’s sudden volume cut them all off. He had stood up and was now glaring at them. His eyes softened at their shocked expressions. He took a deep breath and continued calmly.

“Look, I know Remus did some bad stuff, I won’t defend him on that, but Logan’s right: he never hurt anybody on purpose, at least not physically. And when we dated, neither of us were in a good place and yes, he hurt me badly but that was five years ago. We all changed, so could he, for better or worse. From what I could tell that girl seemed really comfortable with him. Plus Roman, didn’t you say Remus was good with kids when your cousins were visiting one Thanksgiving?” Roman mumbled something under his breath but didn’t argue.

“We also have no viable information to give the police,” Logan spoke up. ”We have no address, he might have changed his name and none of us have spoken to him in five years. Filing a report would be ludicrous.” He stood up. “Now I believe we should all take a few minutes to calm down before proceeding with the games. If you would excuse me.” He moved to leave the kitchen while simultaneously pulling out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Virgil asked, eyeing his phone. Logan glanced at him, barely slowing down.

“I am going to call Janus. Considering that Remus used to be his best friend, I am sure he would be grateful to know that he is indeed still alive.” With that he disappeared down the hall. Silence enveloped the kitchen once again and Patton sat back down. A door opened and closed somewhere in the apartment. Virgil and Roman both pointedly avoided eye contact. After a few moments, Patton sighed.

“Look, I know you two had your problems with Remus, so did I. And I’m honestly not sure how to feel about this either but regardless of all that, I’m glad to know he’s ok. He’s still a friend and your brother, Roman. Who knows, we might not see him again for another five years. See the positives?” He glanced between the two, waiting for their responses. Virgil just gave a slight nod and Roman pouted, though he did look at least a little bit guilty. Patton gave them a small smile.

“Alright, kiddos. I’m gonna go set up the living room. You come over once you’re ready, ok?” Two hums were his answer which he could understand as agreements. Satisfied he moved towards the living room but paused in the kitchen doorway.

“Oh, and if you could clean up the table, that would be great!” Roman and Virgil groaned in unison.

#namiswriting #my writing #Remus and His Daughter #sanders sides #fanfiction #sanders sides fanfiction #ts patton #patton sanders #ts roman #roman sanders #ts logan #logan sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #human!au #one shot #part 2 of a series

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forthetaintedsorrow-whump · 3 years

Text

@whumpmasinjuly Day 9: creation prompt - "Look at me"

*story crossposted from my main, Ikiyou

This is a series of connected short scenes with Ghost!Chuuya. I haven’t written the filler between them, but they happen pretty much one right after the other, so hopefully they make sense. Context: Chuuya is dead, or so everyone thinks. He exists as a ghost and has been haunting Dazai, trying to get Dazai to realize he’s there. Dazai eventually realizes something is up and goes to the library to do some research, which leads him to some books that give some hints on how to see ghosts...

Chuuya kneels on the table in front of his ex-partner, grabs onto some tufts of hair on either side of Dazai’s face and yanks, yelling, “Why can’t you see me!?”

Dazai feels an odd pressure at the sides of his face and a strange inclination to lean slightly forward and look straight, so he does. “~see me!” The voice sounds like it’s coming from far away, from one of those scratched records that Chuuya liked to play, and for a brief moment, he sees clear blue eyes, marred with frustration, and a shock of red hair.

His eyes widen in wonder. “Chuuya- ow!” The yelp bites off his words and when he opens his eyes again, Chuuya is gone. He rubs the sore sides of his head and runs his fingers through his hair, sitting there for a minute.

“Okay.”

Dazai gets up from the table, takes his half-finished bowl of cereal, walks over to the sink, dumps it down the drain, then piles the bowl haphazardly on the already existing pile of unwashed dishes. Then he walks over, grabs his trench coat and he’s out the door. Chuuya watches Dazai walk out the door without another word, and he groans. Then he perks up at remembering that Dazai clearly heard and felt him this time, and he jumps off the table, dashing after the pull in his gut.

He joins Dazai in the elevator just as the doors close and stands beside him. “So where are we going?" He rocks on his heels.

Dazai ignores him.

"Oh, the silent treatment, just because I yanked on your hair, you big baby.”

The elevator doors ding and Dazai steps out.

“Well I hope it’s more interesting than your apartment, because there’s nothing to do there and I’m dying of boredom, it’s no wonder you wanna commit suicide.”

* * * * *

Dazai snags Chuuya’s hand and after a moment of stunned silence, reaches up with his other and drags Chuuya’s head down into a hug, crushing him against his chest.

“Osamu…”

“Chuuya.”

Chuuya smiles. “Osamu, I’m here.”

Dazai’s breath hitches and a tear splatters next to Chuuya’s hand.

All of a sudden, Chuuya’s body seems intangible and Dazai’s hand starts to slip through it. Dazai gasps as his grip on Chuuya seems to slip away.

Chuuya sits up and puts his hands on either side of Dazai’s face.

“Osamu, focus, stay with me!”

“~ay with me!”

Dazai takes a deep, shuddering breath and closes his eyes, stilling his body. When he opens them again, his face is composed and his shoulders relaxed. His eyes focus on Chuuya’s face.

* * * * *

“So for one thing, I haven’t seen any other ghosts. And you’d think if I was dead, I’d see more. And for another, do you know where my body is?”

Dazai runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, we buried it.” He looks away, clearly not willing to dwell on that memory.

“Are you sure? Because I visited, and it wasn’t there.”

“….What?”

“I feel this stinging pain in my sternum,” Chuuya places his fingers against his chest, “and I think it has something to do with my body.”

#Whumpmasinjuly #wij21day9 #whump #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #chuuya whump #my fics #my writing #ghost!chuuya au

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lifeisadoozy · 4 years

Text

sharing a short dousy video edit i made.

i don't know why but i really like this and thought i'd share it on here too.

should i rant about what goes in my head while making this video? no. will i? yes.

basically the song is beginning middle end by leah nobel from to all the boys i've loved before part 3. this song is basically about two people falling in love from the early years of their lives. since lara jean and peter met when they were kids. but then started (fake) dating in high school and their adventure together started right then and there. anyway, watch the movies if you haven't already. this song fits lara jean and peter so well (i don't know if it was written specifically for them or not).

but daisy and sousa didnt meet when they were kids because of one obvious reason: when daisy was a kid, sousa's dead; and when sousa was a kid, daisy hadn't been born yet. they weren't supposed to meet. so their journey started off separately.

daisy's beginning in shield was rocky, to say the least. but she found a home there with coulson, fitzsimmons and may (i'll get to ward) in season 1. they bonded quite quickly, mainly daisy skye and coulson. i think it shifts when she got shot by ian quinn. everyone in the team, especially ward was terrified and angry at the situation. now. she had a relationship with miles early on in the season, which was broken off. but within the context of the song, her beginning was ward. he was her s.o. she was falling for him when she uncovered that he's hydra. add that trauma to the ones she already had prior to shield. no wonder she has trust issues.

her middle was her powers. even though the story started early in the series, it's still the middle. because she struggled with her powers throughout seasons 2 - 5. the middle would always be the bulk of it all. it's where everything happens. it's the crux of a character, of a person. it's where daisy became daisy. now, in the middle of her middle (pun very much intended), was lincoln. the first inhuman who helped her and understood her. i'm sure they've got their own problems and everything, but it doesn't change the fact that he was someone who knew what she's going through. none of her found family could help her the way he could. this is where i think it gets interesting. seasons 2 - 5, where i said was her middle, and basically the peak/climax of daisy as a character, she was falling for and fell for lincoln. it was known that daisy was still in love with lincoln in season 5. possibly around 2 years after he died. but then we found out that she had moved on from lincoln in the beginning of season 6.

season 6 and 7 is the end of her journey with the team. they're still a family. just a family who occassionally see each other. now in season 6, like i mentioned previously, it was acknowledged that daisy had moved on. the past will always be with her, no doubt. the trauma would stick. hopefully just bits and pieces. but it would still be there until she either had alzheimer's, dementia, any other retrograde amnesia injuries or diseases, or the day she died. she would never forget lincoln or ward, heck even miles. she won't forget her past. unless it was taken away from her. so, back to the topic at hand, she wanted her own fitz. she had grown from the woman she was in the beginning, she had grown from the woman and superhero that she was in the middle. she knows who she is now. with the people she worked with. and the people she calls her family. and also with anyone. daisy's ending was perfect (to me at least). she wasn't looking for love right then and there. she was burnt one too many times. but she wanted that kind of love and support. the love and support that fitz and simmons have for each other. something that daisy lacked all her life. she ended up with someone who gave her what she wanted. and what she needed.

with sousa, it's a little different. because we didn't get to see much of his background and family life. we didn't get to know what his life was like during the war and before the war. we begin to see him in the ssr. we all knew, literally everyone knew, even the characters knew that sousa's practically in love with peggy. except for maybe peggy herself. but i'm sure she had an inkling. she definitely had an inkling. but then things go on and he became chief of the west coast office and he was in los angeles while peggy was in new york. he moved on (or so we thought). he started dating violet and was ready to marry her. he told her he loved her. and he did. it's just that he was also in love with peggy. still. and violet saw that. it's as clear as day. and they broke it off.

we didn't get to see much of sousa's middle. mainly because ac wasn't renewed for a third season. which was such a waste because it ended with so many things left unanswered. but we know that between 1947 - 1955, peggy and sousa broke up. we have no idea why. we don't know if steve was back. nada. all we know is that they broke up. when did they break up? again. no idea. but we know that peggy means a lot to sousa. she's like (sorta; i don't like making comparisons but anyway) sousa's lincoln in a way (i'm not saying that they're the exact replica. daisy/lincoln and peggy/sousa are quite different. but they do have similarities. those pairings are the kind where they want to be together forever but knew that it wouldn't work; my interpretation). she didn't die, we know that. but she's sort of the one that got away. my guess is that it's because shield and the world was more important than each other. which wasn't dissimilar to daisy and lincoln's situation. so, yes. peggy's sousa's middle. she influenced him a lot. and he found himself amidst ssr and shield (just like daisy did).

sousa's end was again, perfect. he went to the future. got to see what the organisation he helped build came to be. he went on an adventure to explore space. which he would geek out over. instead of dying, he got to live. with the love of his (new) life. he may be a man out of time, but with daisy and their ragtag family, he is right where he belongs.

daisy and sousa began with "who the hell are you" and ended with "it's beautiful" (just putting this here because i love that fact).

so. they started pretty quickly, didn't they? 4 episodes in and sousa fell in love with daisy. 7 episodes in and daisy fell in love with sousa. though i doubt that they thought they're in love. but they're falling. or walking towards it. 7x03 was when they met. it's where it all began. in area 51 of all places (foreshadow much?). but what's even more interesting is that technically, they began twice. from daisy's perspective, they met in 6x13 (which plenty of people had pointed out; but @agents-of-fangirling was the most recent). even though they didn't actually meet because sousa was wearing that blue (seriously his colour really is blue) hazmat suit and daisy was disoriented (may dying and all that jazz). but from sousa's perspective, they met in 7x03. where they actually made eye contact and conversed. how many couples can say that the when of their first encounter was debatable?

now. their middle, in the video edit, i used the scene from 7x10. because i think that's a pretty good middle. they had their first first kiss. sousa had no idea that happened. yet, there he was, wanting to help. just like his time-loop self. he extended a hand and she accepted. she accepted help. do you know how much of a development that was??? because i think that it's a huge character development (i still haven't rewatched so don't take my word for it). i think that's a good depiction of their middle. oh yeah. before i forgot. they also had two first kisses. and again, i say, how many couples can say that they had two first kiss? figured i'd choose the scene in the middle of those first kisses (pun intended lmao).

sidenote: did y'all see the devastation in her eyes when sousa volunteered to stay in the 80s? or how her eyes went wide and she started to panic when he was injected in the time loops? sousa's a man of action. and when he says something, he means it. so, his constant concern over daisy and him wanting to help in any way he can, it's his love language.

and then we have their ending. the perfect end to an imperfect couple (because nobody's perfect *cue hannah montana*). daisy got sousa a typewriter. because he's from the 50s. since when did daisy buy gifts for her boyfriends/partners/lovers? and they watched e.t. together? that's normal couple things. even though they are far from normal. but they get to experience it all together. daisy didn't get to in the past. none that we know of anyway. and now she does. also, that smile when she talks about him. that fond smile that grazed her lips at the thought of him. i've never seen her smile like that before (none that i remember; and if she did, well then i'm so so happy for her). she looks happy. serene. and her saying "he's a dork" twice in the season just makes my heart burst with happiness for them.

sidenote: my headcannon is that "he's a dork" is code for "i love him too much to explain it in words."

i'd like to believe that even though it has ended, their story has just begun. they're going through their middle right now. and i hope that they won't end. in other words, their end was not an ending. it was a beginning of a new life.

as daisy said, "we're loving the journey together." keyword: journey. it's a long road up ahead. with countless of challenges and obstacles in the way. but in the end, all that matters is that they face it together.

that's it. thanks for coming to my ted talk (for those who actually read it all the way through, i love you).

#watch the video til the very end😉#dousy #i know nobody's gonna read this #but i needed to hash it out #😬😬#character analysis #sort of #relationship analysis #🥺👉👈#sorry for the long ass post #like seriously long #i set out to write a quick lil paragraph and ended up writing an essay

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