#not sure if this applies to anyone here but I'm going to put it here any way

[eggcats]

I'm still (always) thinking about my Housewife Vox AU, so here are my sexuality/history/etc headcanons for Alastor and Vox in it

(I kind of have more for Alastor here, bc almost all of my Hazbin ships involve him so he's the one I've thought about more - I kind of keep similar headcanons no matter what ship I'm thinking of, tbh).

I'm also going to write Alastor being in a rut in this AU, because those fics are always fun, and he will be having sex but it'll be more in a "my mate is aroused and I must please them" kind of way, if that makes sense? I kind of see him as sex-neutral/positive asexual, even in a rut, but the rut makes him a little (lot) more feral and in less control of his instincts. (This is why, before he got into a relationship with Vox, he's never really been affected by the sexual aspects of a rut, because he's only interested in sex as far as his mate is).

(I know my fic kind of tiptoes around any possible consent issues, but I think having Alastor react like this kind of solves it in a way, because he's only interested in making his mate feel good so if Vox didn't want something or began to not like it, Alastor would immediately stop to comfort his mate. However, since he's never before had ANY of his deer/demonic instincts really show before, none of them are sure how he'll react this time, hence the concern).

(I don't mean this in a way to insult any other Alastor-rut fics, trust me I love them, this is just how I'm writing mine here).

I put a readmore here bc I realized how many words I was writing and didn't want to clog your dash, lol.

Alastor:

Asexual - is generally so uninterested he has never masturbated or even considered doing so; knows and understands sex (in a baseline level) but doesn't know anything further as he never wanted to engage or see it; still is only interested in it in a way to experience/watch Vox enjoy himself, wouldn't engage on his own otherwise

Possibly aromantic - the line between "romantic love" and "this person belongs to me" is essentially the same to him, could not tell you the difference (side note: neither can I)

Doesn't know either of those things

Just thinks "I'm the only normal motherfucker alive/in hell when it comes to relationships" and has not had a single question in regards to himself since

Doesn't really understand the difference between being friends/roommates and being in a relationship (hence when he found out that Vox liked him, he was like ah, okay. I don't need to change anything here, since he thinks we're in a relationship, this must be what people DO in a relationship. No need to mention any of this to Vox, surely)

When eventually I do make him have sex, he doesn't really have a preference in position. Generally, I'll include him as the more dominant partner (especially with Vox), but that's more because that's what VOX wants, and Alastor is being intimate for Vox. He has no real preference on who tops and who bottoms, as long as Vox is enjoying himself (and Alastor gets enjoyment out of the act when Vox is)

The same applies to dancing - Alastor teaches Vox how to swing dance, but once Vox learns and becomes more comfortable, a lot of their dancing has them constantly switching the lead and following position, based on whatever they feel like doing at the time

Despite living in the 20s/30s is fairly open minded about a lot of things relating to gender and sexuality, because he lived in the vice district in New Orleans and was exposed to a lot of that (either growing up, or living there as a serial killer, or both).

Some parts of me think that after he murdered his father when he was only around 13-15 (another headcanon of mine), his mother needed a way to make money and so they moved to the vice district, and so Alastor knew and grew up with sex workers and cross-dressers and saw how they were treated by police/society, and so has no issues with them.

Living there when he was a serial killer was also useful, because no one bothers anyone to avoid the risk of setting the police on you.

He doesn't know a lot of more modern terms for things, but Vox wanting to wear a dress doesn't concern him, nor does being in a relationship with a man, since those were things he not only had experienced/seen when he was alive, he's also been in hell for 20 years which is, as a whole, a lot more open minded about things. (I did try to keep him ignorant of more modern things, tho, like he doesn't know anything about things he would have only seen/experienced in hell because he doesn't care about people or relationships, really).

Probably some form of autistic (same, bestie) and takes a lot of cues about how their relationship should be from Vox (which is why he originally didn't feel the need to change his behavior even when he found out Vox was interested in him, because it didn't occur to him at all, and only discovered Vox was sexually interested when it was shoved in his face - however, now that he knows, he's taken a much more active/possessive role in their relationship, including a sexual aspect)

--

Vox:

(Previously) closeted bisexual

Grew up/lived/married/died in middle Americana, white picket fence, 2.5 children, all the houses looking identical, 1950s desperate housewives edition, the whole shebang

DID have a cult, but I'm thinking less Manson, and more "televangelist who extorts his flock for money/power" - this is why he has his hypnosis powers (he doesn't really have them/have discovered them yet, but that's because he's never really had a chance to explore his powers in any real capacity - he basically showed up in hell and then was kidnapped and wifed up immediately)

Did have a wife and children, but wasn't interested in either of them - had them more so because he "had" to and it would look bad for his image, not out of any attraction or love to his wife

All of this contributes to him doing everything he can to try to hide his attraction to Alastor, because he had to do so in life

He's Really Bad At Hiding It tho, because living with Alastor (who, even before he learned Vox was interested in him, has very little boundaries to physical space and just grabs and touches him all the time) is different than being a little attracted to your neighbor

Also, no one in hell calls him out on it, so he never quite realizes how obvious he comes across

Does eventually start his side of the media business, with the help of Alastor, to combine both radio and television to take over the airwaves entirely - becomes the Television/Video Demon, to complete the Radio Demon

Stops Alastor from murdering any and all other media demons/demons who have similar powers over the airwaves, and instead makes deals for their souls to work for him - this is where a lot of his initial power/dealmaking comes from as he rises to also be an Overlord; even when Alastor is the one who finds a media demon he basically just kidnaps them and drops them at Vox's feet like a cat presenting a half-dead mouse to it's owner

--

(Note: I'm aware that Alastor is canonically asexual and he's still in my AU, and I've heard back and forth about him being canonically aromantic and I'm unsure if you'd classify him as aro here too. I'm ace, and I think (maybe?) I might be on the aro spectrum, but regardless I kind of write Alastor like how I'd see relationships/would develop into one in a similar way. I'm not interested in sex or anything, and I've been interested in people/relationships very rarely (and those I am, once I become close friends I'm usually like, oh cool, yay), so I'm kind of using myself as a baseline to figure out how Al feels about things here.

That being said, I don't agree with people harassing other creators who DON'T make Alastor ace or aro in their fics or art, bc it's fan content and so it doesn't matter. Changing a sexuality in a fanfic isn't the same as Actual Erasure and it's wild that people claim that, because I've been reading fanfic since I was 13 and I PROMISE you none of those characters were as queer as I was reading them, lmao. Despite all evidence to the contrary, when they grew up Naruto and Sasuke did NOT fuck nasty in the Hokage office, no matter how much they should have.

Sorry rant, over.)

[wutheringmights]

what is wars diagnosed with. I know he has them I just don't know which ones.

I would prefer if we didn't pathologize Warriors

[fucktoyfelix]

Choking Safety

I've been seeing some kind of scare-mongering type posts going around about choking during sex, so I wanted to address how to approach choking in a safe way. Choking is not a 0 risk activity, but it is also not so dangerous that you will just randomly die either. Anyone who does martial arts will confirm that thousands of teenagers are being successfully trained to choke each other safely (for self defense) every day! There's no reason you can't learn to do it too.

First you should be familiar with some basic anatomy of the neck and throat:

The carotid veins on both sides of the neck and the trachea/windpipe in the center are the most important things to be aware of. If you want to enjoy the psychological element of having someone's hands around your neck with relatively little risk, you can do "choking" play that avoids putting any pressure on those arteries or the trachea. As with all choking play, safety is highest when both parties are fully sober. I'm not actually sure if there are people out there who are into having the windpipe or trachea blocked. This tends to hurt like fuck and cause an autonomic choking response. You'll know if you went too far center because generally the bottom will be like "WTH". I don't know if there is a way to do this play safely or not as I don't have experience with it. It probably carries some risk of the trachea collapsing which would be a hospital trip for sure. Most choking play is done with the intention of cutting off the blood supply to the brain by applying pressure to both the left and right carotid arteries. This type of choking is not really "breath play" because of the way it works (though many people refer to it that way.) This creates a pleasant light headed feeling, but is also where the higher risk comes in. It often doesn't take long for a person to lose consciousness once these arteries are blocked, often less than 10 seconds. Sometimes getting completely choked out is the goal, sometimes not. Either way, the top has to pay very very careful attention to every aspect of their bottom's body language. Once you realize that a person has lost consciousness, the choking must stop immediately. Because of this: the most dangerous way to do this kind of play is alone. (hence all the auto-erotic asphyxiation deaths you hear about) It goes without saying that intoxication also dramatically increases the risks. It's not recommended to lose consciousness this way on a regular basis. It's just not good for your brain to repeatedly go through, especially in rapid succession. Generally, the more time spaced out between this type of play: the better. Though some people may have medical conditions that make the risk higher, as long as you stop choking when you reach the desired headspace, this play is approachable. Anyone who's REALLY into the idea but feels unsure or scared, I highly recommend taking a few martial arts classes. MMA guys do this to each other all the time! For sports! The key is just stopping at the right time. There are two main ways to go about blocking the carotid arteries. The main one used in martial arts and self defense is the rear naked choke.

This type of choke is incredible effective at choking someone out quickly and easily. The forearm and the bicep are squeezing each artery until the desired effect is achieved. The risk here is how quickly it works in combination with not being able to have a visual on your bottom's facial response. When someone loses consciousness they will go limp and begin twitching somewhat. This is normal, and you should stop immediately if you notice those signs. The more common method of choking play during sex is what looks more like typical choking. Facing your partner, using both hands.

You want to find the arteries with both hands, and use the meat at the base of your thumbs to apply gradually increasing pressure upwards towards your partner's head. You can keep the thumbs tucked to avoid accidental pressure on the windpipe. (Though this is not required so long as you remember not to apply pressure to the windpipe.) This type of play has a few safety benefits. First, you can see your partner's face so it's more obvious when you can see they've hit a headspace that is desirable. Additionally, it's just a little more difficult to find the arteries and push up on them correctly. If your goal is to get a little light headed without losing consciousness, this is more easily accomplished with this type of choke. However, losing consciousness is still a risk and both partners being fully alert will ensure the lowest risk environment. I know choking play is incredibly popular, even 'vanilla' people participate in this type of play on a regular basis without really knowing the technical details. Most of them don't get seriously hurt...but knowing what you're actually doing with risky play is a base component of risk aware consensual kink. Anyway I hope people find this helpful! Happy choking!!

[ghostedcas]

imagine like simon goes into some sort of surgery and has to be put under anesthesia, and when he gets out hes like still high asf on it 💀 and hes being a lil silly goose

okay this is such a cute idea omg, this is 100% based off that tiktok audio where it's like "my wife wouldn't like you touching me like that" "i AM your wife."

thank you so much for the request nonnie, a forehead kiss for you MWAH MWAH

simon 'ghost' riley x reader

wc: 563

warnings: none really, lots and lots of that good ol fluff, mentions of surgery, goofy simon, maybe a little ooc simon (he's high so it's fine)

a/n: i hope this is okay, i'm feeling a bit rusty with my writing but i've finally got back some motivation and energy to do so after the past two months of low energy and bad mental health. if you guys want to know a bit more about it and my mental health (i don't see why anyone would but lmao) let me know, i don't mind making a post about it if you guys want an explanation of some sort or whatever. anywho, sorry this is so short but i hope you still like it!! <3

a/n 2.0: i recently applied for a part time job at a bookstore so y'all pray for me that i get this job because i want it so bad. i am just gonna decide that i WILL get this job, because why wouldn't i?

simon had been out of surgery for just over an hour now, being a soldier you 'd think perhaps he was going under surgery for some kind of wound he had inflicted upon him on the battlefield but no, he was just getting his tonsils removed after a bad bout of tonsillitis ended up with him developing really bad tonsil stones.

so here you were, waiting by his bedside for him to wake up. the doctor and nurses reminded you just as he had gotten out that he may still be a little, well loopy, off of the meds depending on how quickly he woke up. you waited in a chair at his bedside, reading a book when you heard the blankets of the bed rustling just a little.

looking up from your book you see simon starting to wake up and you reach out to grasp his hand, only for him to rip it away from you when his eyes were fully opened.

"uh, si? you okay, hon?" you ask gently, maybe he just wasn't feeling too well after waking up, or perhaps he wasn't wanting physical touch, that happened quite often and you always respected that space he may want when he wanted it.

"don't call me that." simon said, voice hoarse and scratchy from the surgery, he sounded a little angry.

"what?" you questioned, this wasn't like simon, you couldn't understand why he wouldn't want you speaking like this to him.

"i'm taken."

"i know." you replied with a short laugh.

"you should be touching me like that then."

it hit you then, he was woozy from the meds and didn't recognize you. the realization made you laugh a little more. you decided to have a bit of fun with this high version of your boyfriend.

"sorry about that simon. wanna tell me about your partner?"

"oh, (name)? they're amazing, you know they're so pretty. and they're funny too. they always know how to make me feel better, i miss them." simon replies, ranting and raving on and on to you about his partner, about you.

"you love them a lot, don't you?" you ask him with a smile, it felt so nice to hear all these lovely things about yourself, your boyfriend clearly unfiltered by the effects of the anesthesia he was under.

sure he definitely said sweet things to your face, but something about hearing it when he was basically high as shit made your heart pound a little more.

"i love them with my whole heart." simon replies, a goofy little smile on his face.

you can't help but reach out to gently caress his face at those words, body filling up with some much adoration for the soldier in front of you.

"hey! what did i say about touching me. i have a partner!" simon scolds, trying to dodge your touch.

"simon, love... i am your partner. it's me, (name)." you reply with a laugh.

simon takes a good long look at you when you tell him this, he stares at you, looks you up and down before letting out a soft and quiet "oh."

you begin to hear the beeping of his heart rate monitor speed up, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he stares up at you.

you couldn't help but laugh a little more at this. what a sweet idiot. your sweet idiot.

[pathologicalreid]

the space between us | S.R.

previously

The adjustment between never being home and always being home seems to take a toll on you.

who? spencer reid x fem!retired!reader category: flangst content warnings: the events of stuck between a rock and a hard place apply, briefly mentions a baby, reader trying to cope with a 180-turn in life, anxiety word count: 2.16k a/n: i meant for this to be fluff and it's definitely a tad angsty. good thing i'm obsessed with spencer and retired!reader. they'll be back.

Slowly but surely, you convinced yourself that the dark green walls of the apartment were closing in on you. Sitting up in bed, you looked at the time on your phone before quickly scrolling through the notifications, half expecting a text from Andi Swann asking you to come in.

She wouldn’t do that though, because she’s not your Unit Chief anymore, and you no longer work for the FBI.

The only text message you saw that piqued your interest was from your husband, letting you know that he was flying home.

Tossing your blanket off of your legs, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. Hissing at the feeling of the cold hardwood floors beneath your bare feet, you wrapped your arms around yourself and made way for the kitchen. Creeping slowly on your way, you made sure to keep your footsteps light.

Gingerly, you flipped the light on, wincing as the fluorescence flooded your vision. As your eyes adjusted, you reached up to the cabinet, grabbed a cup, and set it on the counter.

“You’re sneaking around again,” a voice said from behind you.

Jumping, you put a hand over your chest and spun around, “You scared the shit out of me.” You frowned at Spencer, “I thought you were flying home. I just got your text.”

He nodded, walking into the warm light of the kitchen, “I texted you four hours ago that I was flying home from Connecticut.” His hair was messy, and he had already taken his contacts out, telling you that he had been in the bathroom – he had passed by you while you were sleeping.

Your lips tightened to form a small “o”. Leaning back against the counter, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, “How was Hartford?”

Intently, you watched Spencer as he pushed his glasses up on his nose. “It was fine, the UnSub’s in custody, we’ll build the rest of the case from Quantico.” His tone was strictly no-nonsense when he repeated himself, “You’re sneaking around again.”

Letting your arms fall to your sides, you shrugged helplessly. “I don’t do it consciously, you know?” You told him, reaching behind your back to hoist yourself up so you’re sat on the kitchen counter, legs dangling in the air.

“I know,” he said gently, stepping forward so that he was standing directly in front of you. You parted your knees so that he could stand flush with the counter, allowing for minimal space between the two of you. “The fact that you’re doing it subconsciously makes me wonder if there’s a part of you that feels like you need to be quiet in the apartment,” he murmured, reaching up and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You pursed your lips for a moment, thinking about an answer before you responded, “It’s late, I don’t want to bother anyone by walking too loudly.”

Based on the look in his eyes, you can tell that he doesn’t believe you, “It’s an old building, the floors are thick and well insulated. Also, the apartment below us is vacant, and you know that.” His words are borderline accusatory, and rightfully so. “Do you feel safe here?”

Surprised, your eyes flittered up to meet his, “Yes,” you answered almost instantaneously.

“Do you not feel at home here?” He asked, further pressing his agenda.

When you and Spencer decided to move in together, you were living in a studio apartment, so his place just felt like the obvious choice. At the time, you weren’t home long enough to make it home, and now it seemed like you were past the point of no return. “Can we go to bed?” You asked softly.

Spencer tenderly placed his hands on either side of your waist, “You’re deflecting. What’s so wrong that you don’t feel like you can talk to me, baby?” You should’ve known better than to answer a question with a question.

Averting your eyes, you looked up at the ceiling in hopes that the action would quell the tears that were filling your waterline. “I just feel so out of place,” you answered, emotion closing your throat.

“In the apartment?” He whispered softly.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, you shook your head. Giving up on your dreams of stopping your tears, you bowed your head and let them fall. “In my life,” you clarified. “I thought it would be easy to just go from being an undercover agent to being at home. Maybe that was a lost cause, but I didn’t think it’d be so hard.”

Never wavering, Spencer stayed resilient with you as the dam broke, letting you lean your head on his shoulder and rubbing soothing circles on your back as you cried. “You’re going through one hell of an adjustment period right now.”

Nodding tearfully, you pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes, “I feel like I haven’t been a real person in almost ten years. I don’t know who I am without that fucking job and it’s mauling me.” Briefly, Spencer stepped away from you, filling the cup that you had gotten out with water and handing it to you. “God, I’m a disaster. I’m so sorry,” you muttered, looking down at the glass of water you’d clasped in both hands.

“You are not a disaster,” he insisted. “You’re going through an unfathomable experience and you’re not giving yourself enough leeway,” he stressed, hooking a finger beneath your chin, and lifting your head.

Everything about him seemed soft, and you felt like pieces of broken glass – flying around and damaging everything in sight. You lifted the glass in your shaky hands, bringing the lip of the cup to your own and downing half of its contents.

Spencer studied your facial expression before he spoke again, “I know exactly who you are. You are the single most selfless person I have ever met,” he told you earnestly. “You spent nine years of your life rescuing tens of thousands of people, giving up holidays and birthdays and time with loved ones for the benefit of total strangers.”

Sniffling, you shook your head, “Spence,”

“No, this is true, and I need you to listen to me,” he urged. “One time, you had gotten back from five weeks undercover and, before catching up on sleep, you went to Henry’s birthday party. Solely because you had missed it the year before.” Hesitating for a moment, he resumed singing your praises, “You’re brilliant and funny and beautiful, but I need you to stop being so magnanimous.”

You pulled back, furrowing your brows in innate confusion, “What?”

He nodded, affirming his point. “I need you to be selfish. Operate with your self-interest in mind. Use that to discover yourself. If you keep throwing pieces of yourself away in order to make the people around you happy, then you’ll never really identify your adult self.”

“I don’t know where to start,” you confessed. You were always working; the FBI was your life. “Everyone is telling me to do different things,” you murmured. Spencer wanted you to be selfish, your mother wanted you to have a baby, and every single one of your friends had offered their stress relief methods – most of them unsolicited.

The understanding in his expression made your chest ache, “I think you should talk to someone. Not me, not Garcia, definitely not your mom, but a professional. You should talk your experiences out with someone who can help you work through it, not just like you do with me. I know you hold back details when it’s with me.”

Uncertain, you tried to wrap your arms around yourself again, but Spencer didn’t let you close yourself off. “Okay,” you ventured, “I’ll look into it.”

Putting his hands up, he smiled softly at you, “That’s all I ask.” He stepped back, allowing you to get off of the counter and stand. Spencer gently ushered you into the living room, sitting down next to you on the couch.

Instinctively, you leaned into his warmth as he draped an arm over your shoulders. “I need a hobby. Something to do other than sit at home all day,” you thought aloud.

“We can look for ideas in the morning,” Spencer offered. “Maybe we can go to the store this weekend for supplies.”

Turning your head to face him, you pressed your lips into a thin white line, “Hey, Spence?”

He hummed, “Yes, love?”

“We could get a house,” you proposed. “It could be a good new start for the both of us, and we have the money,” the more you spoke about it, the more you liked the idea. A new start for the new you. Technically, the two of you were still newlyweds, it felt like something you were supposed to do. “We wouldn’t have to keep your books on the floor anymore,” you murmured, absentmindedly drawing shapes on his t-shirt with your index finger.

Your eyes flickered up to see him smiling. “We absolutely can get a house, and you won’t have to tip-toe,” he said pointedly, “it’ll be our space.”

Mirroring his smile, you adjusted slightly on the couch, “Our house.”

As you tucked your feet underneath yourself, you felt his eyes on you, “Are you sleeping alright?”

Groaning, you wiped a hand down your face, “You worry too much. We were doing so well.”

“Did you know that your coping mechanism is avoidance?” He remarked, a hint of teasing in his voice.

You rolled your eyes, “I sleep fine,” you answered simply. It was true, once you were asleep, you slept perfectly fine until the morning. It was falling asleep that you had a hard time with, lying awake and wondering if when you finally fell asleep you would be greeted by nightmares. Nightmares that you had been waiting weeks for but had yet to come. “Let’s uh… let’s call it a problem for the professional,” you faltered.

He nodded understandingly, “You just let me know if there’s anything you need, okay? Anything at all.”

Allowing your body to meld into his, you hummed, “How are you doing with all of this?”

“I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, just to make sure you’re still breathing,” he confessed. Adjusting his glasses, he pulled you a little closer to him. “I’ve seen you more in the past six weeks than I had the previous year, and, selfishly, I’m glad that we get more time together.”

With one hand, you reached up and cupped his cheek with your palm, “I am too, love. It’s new, even though we’ve been together for years, I think we’re lucky to have something that feels new.”

He turned his head to press a kiss to the center of your palm before taking your hand in his, “I think I’m lucky to have you.”

“Sweet talker,” you teased lightly.

You nudged him gently when he went quiet. “I love having you be at home when I get home,” he whispered as if it was a secret. “I suppose I never really thought much of it because it always seemed like an unattainable fantasy.”

But now you were home when he came home. He took time off to spend with you right after you had gotten out of the hospital, but for the past six weeks, every time he walked in the door, you were around. It was almost like the two of you had entered your honeymoon phase. Although, you supposed you had, “Did anyone ask you about the party?”

Spencer chuckled, “Of course they did.”

Part of you supposed it was your penance for getting married in secret – mostly secret, everyone always seemed to forget that Rossi was there – that the BAU was insistent on giving the two of you a wedding. “I never knew profilers had such great memories,” you pondered. “No one else asks me about it.”

“They just want to make sure you’re alright before turning it into a celebration,” he explained. “For the BAU, taking a step back is a big deal,” he leaned his head to the side so that his chin was resting on the top of your head, “you know that, though.”

Nodding softly, you shut your eyes, “I don’t suppose they’d be willing to do a combo housewarming and wedding celebration.”

“Not a chance,” Spencer answered almost a bit too quickly.

You sighed in mock defeat, “We’ll just have to have a party a weekend until Garcia runs out of ideas.”

Slowly, you felt yourself falling asleep again, “Do you want to go to bed?” Spencer murmured.

There was just a moment before you hummed, “In a minute.” You pulled on the sleeves of your sweatshirt so they would cover your hands, “Hey, Spence?”

“Hm?” He said, drowsiness growing in his voice.

You tipped your head back and looked up at him, “I love being home when you get home, too.”

please remember to like, comment, and/or reblog if you enjoyed!

[submalevolentgrace]

if i say "the queer community", i am referring to the community of self identified queers. if you're not a self identified queer, then i wasn't talking about you!

"i don't like to be called queer because it hurt me!" cool, fine, whatever. the word gay hurt me, i get it. but see, i didn't actually call you queer, i was talking about, and this might be difficult to follow; people who like being queer! that's why i said "queer community", to refer to the broad community of queers.

"but i'm gay/lesbian/bi/ace/whatever and i don't like it being used as an umbrella term!" okay, cool. if someone forces you under an umbrella you don't like that sure does suck! i hate being forced under the "LBGT+" umbrella myself. i absolutely loathed "trans*", i get it, trust me. i would like to draw your attention to the fact that i just said "queer community", which explicit in text and implicit in meaning, refers to a community of people... bare with me here.... people who are queer. if you do not consider yourself queer.... then it wasn't about you. it was about me and my community.

"but i know what group you're talking about and it applies to me too!" okay but you see that, you see that you're putting yourself under the umbrella there right? and then complaining about it, right? it's not my fault you decided it was about you? you're always going "it's okay for you to use, but" and then attack us when we do use it for ourselves, by shoving yourself under an imagined umbrella of your construction, hurting us in the shove, and then screaming like you were forced in here.

"but it's a--" listen.

listen to me.

you might think i'm being obstinant and maybe i am a little! but i'm trying to illuminate a point here. you've constructed an idea in your head of "us" as a monolith, a singular group that you want covered by a singular umbrella with a singular term; and you've decided that this "us" group - including you - is who i'm talking about right now, and then you've gotten shitty at me for using a word you don't like for an idea you projected over my words.

but here's the secret: there is no singular group like that. there is no monolith. there is no singular cohesive "us". there's just people, individuals with infinite experiences and selves and sexualities and genders and loves and all these beautiful things, and sometimes when we're similar enough we band together into groups and pick labels; gay, trans, queer, rainbow, whatever. these are just names, names for imagined groups, imagined groups with fake made up boundaries! people will argue there are definitions, gay means this, lesbian means that; but people will always disagree, so the names expand and the groups get broader. msm, wlw, bi, pan, genderqueer, rainbow quiltbag alphabet soup!

and you can expand and contact and refine and broaden but you will never cover everyone. at some point, you have to just accept letting people self define, and decide if they want to be in the group. if you have a "gay" group, the socially straight msm will get shitty at being called gay and it's not the fault of either the gays or the word "gay" that they're not included! people will expand and stretch and redefine and shrink, all these groups and labels will ebb and flow as different people have different needs and want to include - and exclude!- different people for their communities.

but some of "us", many generations ago, got sick and tired of constantly redefining labels and groups and decided to pick a nice word for ourselves and welcome anyone who liked it to use it, and that's queer. maybe it was already a slur that we reclaimed, maybe it was already our word before it became a slur, maybe it was just common slang for someone a little unusual and oddball and we liked that! historians both academic and communal disagree! it doesn't even matter, it's our word; "our" being anyone who likes it. if you like "queer" and want to be queer and respect the existing queers, you're welcome. and generation after generation, we pass it on for anyone to use, to say: it's okay not to box yourself in, it's okay not to define yourself down to the molecule, it's okay to be free, to come and go, to love and be whatever. it's our sanctuary. you are queer if you want to be queer. that is the gift that was given to me by the queers that came before me, i will gift it in turn to anyone that wants to carry it forwards. not everyone has to be queer, but we chose to be.

and you motherfuckers.

you motherfuckers keep smashing through the windows of our sanctuary, declaring it to be your umbrella, scream about slurs like we've never been hurt in our lives, and then hurl violence and vitriol at us because you personally hate being inside our sanctuary and want the entire structure destroyed and rebuilt for you.

fuck you.

i suffered through years of torment and abuse being called gay and having it spat at me with hate, being berated in church for questioning love, being screamed at and beaten by family and classmates and having them spit - literally - the word gay at me. i suffered through it, i survived it, i flourished to spite it and was embraced by queers who taught me love for myself and gave me safe sanctuary in this beautiful, ambiguous word, and you don't get to take that away from me.

if i say "us queers" and you come at me about how it hurts you and start yelling about umbrellas and slurs: 1) i wasn't fucking talking about you, 2) you're not part of my community and don't get to tell me what i call it, and 3) you are the fucking problem here, you are the one doing the hurting right now.

when you come into my community of queers and tell me that our sanctuary is "a slur", you are indistinguishable to me from the people spitting "gay" as they beat me.

if you're gay as in happy, you're free to be that and i won't stop you or tell you your whole core is a slur. you pick whatever umbrella you want to imagine for yourself, and i'll probably chose not to stand under it.

because i am queer. as in fuck. you.

and you will have to kill me to stop me being queer

[kiarastromboli]

Teach me 2 (Chris Sturniolo x y/n)

Part.1 Part.3

Masterlist.

Warning: Not my edit, Smut content, don’t like it = don’t read it :)

Summary: Y/N and Chris's relationship has evolved, but Y/N insists on keeping a low profile for fear that her parents will find out she has a boyfriend.

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

"Wake up, honey, your dad is dropping you off today," my mom said, gently stroking my hair to wake me up.

I just hummed in response, too lazy to open my mouth and speak.

After a few seconds of tossing in bed to stretch and rub my eyes, I reached for my phone.

I smiled foolishly at my phone before getting out of bed to get ready.

My relationship with Chris had evolved since the night he climbed through my window two weeks ago. We decided to take our time; nothing was officially defined, and not many people knew about us.

Mainly because I was afraid my parents would find out I had a boyfriend. Chris didn't care; he wasn't the type to overthink, and that's precisely why I tried to keep this relationship discreet.

My parents had been quite clear in the past about boys—no boyfriends before the end of high school. According to them, it's a distraction, and they want me to focus fully on my studies, which I can understand.

On top of that, Chris is pretty much everything my parents would dislike, so it would be even worse if they found out I was dating him.

Anyway, I left my room to head to the bathroom. I took a quick shower, got dressed, brushed my teeth, styled my hair, and applied a bit of makeup.

I wanted to look a bit nicer today for Chris; I knew this lacrosse match was important for him, and I wanted to please him.

"You look very beautiful. Do you have a special event today?" my father asked as he saw me coming into the kitchen.

"Um, no, I just felt like getting ready a bit," I nervously replied before sitting at the table for breakfast.

"By the way, I'll probably be home a bit later tonight. There's an important lacrosse match, and I plan to watch it with Julia," I added nervously.

"Hm," my father looked at me strangely before returning to his phone.

I had my breakfast peacefully, and then my father and I headed to school.

My morning went by normally—nothing extraordinary. I attended classes, worked, and chatted a bit with my best friend Julia. Then lunchtime arrived.

"See you at the match!" I told Julia as I left the class to go to my locker.

I opened my locker to put away my things, and when I closed it, I was taken by surprise by Chris standing right behind me.

"Oh my god, Chris!" I said, placing my hand on my heart, thinking I was having a heart attack.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said, chuckling, and I gave him a playful punch in the shoulder before laughing myself.

"You look good," he said with a smirk, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I made an effort for you today," I told him, smiling and tilting my head to the side.

"Can't wait to take off that little skirt later," he whispered in my ear, making me blush.

"Chris!" I said, clearing my throat and looking around to make sure no one had heard.

He chuckled before leaning toward me for a kiss, and instinctively, I pulled back.

He gave me a confused look. "Not here. I don't want anyone to see us," I said timidly.

"Y/n, your parents aren't going to magically appear out of nowhere and catch us kissing. We're at school," he replied, rolling his eyes and sighing.

"I know, but I don't want to take the risk of someone telling them!" I replied.

"I couldn't care less if your parents don't like me, Y/n. It annoys me that I can't kiss you whenever I want!" he said, getting frustrated.

"Chris, I know. I'm sorry. Please, stop," I said, immediately feeling guilty. "Maybe you don't care, but it's important to me. I'm not ready for them to know. I need a little more time."

He sighed, throwing his head back. "Yeah, see you at the match after school," he said before turning around and leaving.

It really bothered me that things were so complicated. It was just the beginning of our relationship, and I was terrified of ruining everything because of my parents.

The rest of the day, I wasn't really focused on anything. I couldn't stop thinking about Chris. I didn't want to hurt him, and I could sense that this situation was bothering him. I wanted to find a way to make it up to him.

After school, Julia and I headed straight to the stadium to watch Chris's match. We had seats right at the front in the stands.

"Hold this for me. I'm going to see Chris quickly before the match starts," I told my best friend, handing her my bag.

Of course, she knew about Chris and me; she was the first person to find out.

She nodded, smiling at me, and I ran toward the locker rooms. I was lucky; Chris had just come out.

I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to a more discreet spot where no one could see us, then kissed him.

"I'm sorry for earlier," I replied, separating our lips. "I don't want our argument to distract you from your match. I'll find a solution."

"I'm not angry with you, Y/n," he said, placing his hand on my cheek. "It's just that I wish I could show everyone that you're mine."

"Shut up," I said, grabbing the collar of his shirt to kiss him. "How about you show me how much I'm yours after this match," I added, biting my lip.

"You won't have to ask me twice," he said, grabbing me by the waist, pulling me against him, and kissing me again. "Join me in the locker room after the match," he said, disconnecting our lips.

"Chris, I meant at your place or mine, not here dumbass," I said, chuckling.

"I won't wait until then. If it were up to me, I'd fuck you against this wall," he said, smiling.

"No, Chris, you're insane. We're not doing that in the locker room," I said, shaking my head.

"Okay, let's make a deal. If I score three times during this match, we do it in the locker room. Otherwise, it's up to you to decide," he said, extending his hand.

"Chris," I said, looking at him seriously, and he insisted, "Oh my god, okay fine, deal," I finally gave in, and he kissed me quickly before turning back to the others.

Even if Chris was doing pretty well in lacrosse, there was little chance he would score three times on his own. Given the level of his team, I knew this deal was already in my favor.

"Are you done making out with your secret boyfriend?" Julia said when I came back to sit next to her.

"Oh, shut up!" I said, laughing.

It was Chris's first match that I attended. I had seen him practice once or twice quickly, but I didn't expect to find it so attractive to watch him play.

I don't know if it was the brutality with which he entered the opposing team members sometimes or the moments of pause when he removed his helmet to run his hand through his hair.

Not to mention the countless times he threw me looks that, honestly, soaked my panties.

I already found Chris incredibly sexy in everyday life. Sometimes I even felt like a teenager in front of a boyband with him. This guy represented everything I found most attractive.

When he scored for the first time, I was the first to cheer and encourage him, proud to see my boyfriend contribute to his team's victory.

The second time, however, I quickly felt reality catching up with me. Had I just been fooled? I felt anxiety creeping in. If he scored one more time, it meant I was going to sleep with him in the locker room. Oh my god, what had I done?

The rest of the match, every time he approached to score, my heart skipped a beat. But when the last few minutes arrived, I started to feel reassured.

That was without counting on the fact that Chris scored one last time in the last 5 minutes of the match.

Everyone in the stands stood up to celebrate our team's victory, and I sat there for a moment when I realized what that meant. Damn.

After a few minutes of celebration, the team left the field to head to the locker room, and I received a message from Chris.

I blushed at his message.

"Everything okay?" Julia asked, putting her hand on my shoulder, making me jump and immediately turning off my phone so she wouldn't see my messages.

"Um, yeah!" I said, clearing my throat and smiling to pretend nothing was wrong.

"Okay..." she said, looking at me strangely. "Anyways, my brother is dropping me home in 5 minutes. Do you want us to drop you off on the way to your place?" she offered.

"No, thanks, Ju. I'll wait for Chris to come out of the locker room. I have something to tell him quickly," I said timidly, running my hand over my neck.

"Oh, okay. Well, see you tomorrow, Y/n," she said, smiling before leaving.

It had been about twenty minutes since I was waiting in the stands, feeling stressed and anxious.

Of course, it wasn't about sleeping with Chris; on the contrary, I wanted it. It's just that I found it quite risky, and what if someone caught us?

Anyway, I made a deal with him, and I can't back down now.

My moment of solitude was interrupted by a message from Chris, letting me know that the locker room was empty, and he was now waiting for me to join him.

I took a deep breath and stood up before starting to walk towards the locker rooms.

I passed a few people on the way and tried to act casual as I walked past them. Once in front of the locker room door, I scanned the surroundings to make sure no one saw me enter.

I opened the door and quickly entered. My heart immediately raced when the door closed behind me.

I surveyed the room to find my boyfriend, but no one was there. "Ch-Chris?" I said timidly, gradually moving forward in the room.

No response. Turning my head, I saw Chris's bag on the bench with his lacrosse jersey on it, indicating that he was indeed here. "Not funny, idiot, answer me!" I said, rolling my eyes and starting to walk towards the showers.

Suddenly, I felt hands grab my waist and press me against a wall before feeling his lips crashing onto mine, making me sigh in surprise. "Chris! Oh my god!"

"That's the second time I've scared you today," he said, smiling proudly.

"Yes, and you really need to stop doing it if you don't want me to have a heart attack!" I said, giving him a playful shove to his chest.

I took a moment to admire him; he was shirtless, his hair still damp from the shower he probably just had. "I missed you," he said, reconnecting our lips.

"I missed you too," I replied, running my hand through his hair. "I didn't think you'd manage to score three times," I said in a slightly more timid tone.

"With the right motivation, there are plenty of things I can do," he said, smiling against my lips before removing one of the straps of my top.

"Chris—" I started to say before being cut off by his lips on my neck. "I know we made a deal, but I don't think it's a good idea," I said, unable to hold back small moans escaping my mouth.

"Why?" he asked, sliding his hands over my hips. "You don't seem like you want me to stop, judging by the sounds you're making," I could feel his smile against my neck.

"I don't—" I said, interrupted by a moan when he began nibbling on my neck. "If someone catches us, Chris, I—" I said before being cut off by his hands grabbing the back of my thighs to lift me.

"Don't worry. If you stay quiet, there's no reason anyone will catch us," he said with a smirk before kissing me again, this time our kiss was deeper and more fiery.

I knew it wasn't responsible of me, but his lips on my body only led me astray from the right path. I placed one hand on his shoulder while the other tangled in his hair. "We'll have to do this quickly, though. I don't know how much time we have before the janitor comes to clean the locker rooms," he said with a hungry voice, and I simply nodded.

He led us to the bench to sit next to his bag. His hands gripped my hips, making me moan once again, and I started moving my hips against his, making him groan in return. "I fucking missed this pussy. I can't wait any longer," he said, licking his lips, and indeed, I could feel his rock-hard cock through his joggers rubbing against my panties.

He came to grasp my throat in his hand, kissing me more fiercely than before, making me moan in surprise. This time was different, less gentle than the first, but equally pleasing. I couldn't help but squirm and moan, craving to feel him inside me again. "Shhh," he said, separating our lips.

"I'm sorry, it's just that—" I began before feeling his grip on my ass strengthen.

"It's just that what?" he said with a smirk. "Don't be all shy with me ma; tell me, or I'll stop now," he added, removing his hands from my ass.

"No, don't!" I said in a heated sigh before guiding his hands back to where they were, and he smiled. "It's just that I really need you now," I said timidly, and he immediately kissed me again.

His hands left my ass to remove his joggers and boxers, lifting his hips slightly, pressing his erection even closer to me, causing another moan to escape my lips.

"Y/n, you really need to make less noise than that," he chuckled, readjusting himself.

"Sorry," I said, blushing and looking down at his sizeable member. Not to brag, but in my eyes, it was rather large, and I was afraid that without any foreplay, his entrance might be painful.

"I won't enter before stretching you a bit, baby, don't worry," he chuckled before bringing his hand between our bodies.

He slid my panties to the side before inserting a finger inside me while looking at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

I tried to stifle a moan when he immediately added a second finger, making me furrow my brows and cling to his shoulder. "You're so beautiful, y/n," he said, moving his fingers inside me.

And I couldn't help but move my hips back and forth, hoping to feel him even deeper inside me. "You're such a good girl; look at you riding my fingers like a needy slut," his words prompted another moan to escape my mouth.

His free hand came to surround his member as he started to stroke himself while watching me. "I want to do it," I said, wrapping my hand around him, and he smiled before starting to bend his fingers inside me.

I gradually quickened my hand movements around him, and he threw his head back. "N-no, Chris, look at me," I said, moaning and placing my free hand on his cheek.

"Fuck, I need to be inside of you right now," he said, removing his fingers from me to grab a condom from his bag.

In a few seconds, he opened the condom with his teeth, and I stopped stroking him so he could put it on.

He wasted no time in seizing me by the hips and aligning himself with my entrance. He took care to shift my panties to the side before applying pressure to my hips to enter in one swift motion. "Chris!" I almost screamed, burying my head in his neck.

"Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer, ma," he said, groaning and starting to guide my hips up and down.

"Oh my fuck," I said, moaning and throwing my head back.

He took advantage of the moment to bury his head in my neck and kiss me there. "Chris, I—" I said, moaning, and he quickened the movement, I gently pulled his hair. "This is so good; please don't stop."

"Y/n, someone might hear you; you need to stop moaning like that, shit-" he said, lifting his head towards me and grabbing my chin.

"I don't fucking care, Chris; it feels good. I need you to go faster, please," I said, driven solely by my desires at that moment, and he did what I asked, thrusting from below this time.

He grabbed my hips tightly and started giving me fast and deep thrusts. "Oh my god, yes, right there," I said, dropping my head forward.

"Fuck, y/n, shhh," he said, trying his best to hold back his own moans.

I felt like I had become completely dumb; the only thing I could think of at that moment was Chris inside me. The moans coming from me were out of control, so Chris pressed his hand against my mouth to prevent any sound from escaping.

"God, I wish I didn't have to cover your pretty little mouth right now," he whispered without stopping his thrusts.

My lower abdomen tightened as he began to massage my clit. My eyes rolled back, and my hand instinctively gripped Chris's throat, which seemed to shock him momentarily but didn't displease him, judging by the smile that appeared on his face.

I closed my eyes, feeling my orgasm approaching. With my other hand, I removed Chris's hand from my mouth to warn him, "Baby, I'm really close," I said, moaning.

"Me too, ma, let it go," he said through gritted teeth. I locked eyes with him, my mouth open, refraining from letting my moans escape. Chris's brows were furrowed, and he bit his lips to prevent any noise from escaping.

"Chris, oh my god!" I almost screamed, tightening my grip around his neck, letting my orgasm take over.

"Hold on a little longer; I'm almost there babe," he said, breathless, giving me animalistic thrusts before he, too, reached climax and stopped his movements completely.

I let my head fall against his chest with him still inside me, and we both began to chuckle. "I'm going to need a second shower," he said, laughing.

"Well, we don't have time. You'll take one at your place; I have to go home before my parents get worried." I told him, straightening up and placing my hands around his cheeks.

"Hmm," he simply hummed, caressing my ass and kissing me tenderly.

I stood up, readjusted my skirt and panties, while he disposed of the condom and got dressed on his end. "I'm good?" I asked, wanting him to tell me if I was disheveled or if my clothes were misplaced.

"Mhm," he said, nodding, and we both headed towards the exit.

He grabbed me by the arm to kiss me. "I love you, Chris," I said, breaking our kiss with a big smile.

"I love you, baby," he replied before I turned to open the door and stepped out.

I quickly descended from my little cloud when I opened the door and found myself face to face with Chris's coach, who crossed his arms.

"Y/f/n y/l/n! I wouldn't have expected to run into you here," he said, giving me a judgmental look before Chris came out right after. "Chris Sturniolo, what a surprise!"

I looked at Chris anxiously, hoping he could come up with a miracle solution. "Coach, it's not what you think—" he started before being interrupted.

"I don't want to hear anything. Both of you will explain yourselves to the principal tomorrow. Go home now," he responded.

Oh my god, this time I'm really in trouble...

Masterlist.

[https-furina]

okay okay so, since im already on the angst train and i want to hurt myself today, hear me out:

you and your lover are out doing wtv and you're ambushed and then, naturally, you guys fight the enemies right?

okay so you get hurt and youre losing a lot of blood and your lover realizes this and is completely heartbroken bc you dont have much time, the wound is deep

so um yeah the reader dies in their lover's arms basically, with albedo, heizou, kazuha, wanderer, xiao and kaeya

theres so many characters im curious abt so please take your time mwah

(ps: i will not pay anyone's therapy okay i need it myself, my condolaences for hurting you)

✎ i wasn't ready to say goodbye [various men - part one]

ft. albedo, aether, heizou, kazuha, wanderer, xiao & kaeya x fem!reader

content: do i need to say angst? i'm so sorry. major death + blood warnings. implied that reader can handle a weapon in most of them - unspecified if reader is a vision holder. hurt with absolutely no comfort. semi-spoilers for scaramouche/wanderer's story (end of the sumeru archon quests.)

notes: we added aether last second in the discord bc we summoned aki ( @kazumist - aly wanted you tagged ) some of them are awful and ooc i'm so sorry - officially managed this in just over 24 hours!

albedo treasures you more than he cares to admit verbally. it shows in all of his acts of love through physical means, lingering touches and making sure you're warm whenever you visit him on dragonspine. he hates you visiting him as much as he loves you - it's merely because it puts you in extreme danger every time. there's the temperatures, the wildlife, the lack of oxygen and of course, there's the monsters lurking around every corner of the inhabited mountain.

as the chief alchemist for the knights of favonius, there's always a warrant for albedo's life one way or another. the fatui are eager to stop his research - or steal it, maybe both.

there's a silence except for the howling winds that circle the snowy mountain. you're struggling to breathe, to get the sharp air into your lungs as you lowered your sword slowly. not far away, your boyfriend is finishing off the final fatui soldier, blood splattering onto his sleeve before he turns to face you. is it just you or does albedo look even more beautiful right now? you furrow your brows in confusion. albedo looks like he's seen a ghost, colour flushing from his face when he rushes forward. your knees give way under you and he barely manages to catch you in his arms, kneeling as he lets you lay against him. "bedo, love?" you mumble, unsure as to what's happening. you can hear the roar of your blood in your ears, your heart is beating whilst the adrenaline still pumps through your body. albedo hushes you softly, pupils dilated when he looks at your wound. "h-how do you feel?" his voice cracks when he asks the question, a gloved hand applying pressure to your side. you wince, the adrenaline is starting to fade and you feel faint. there's a cold sweat glistening on your forehead when you look down at where albedo's hand is, seeing the blood seep through your clothing. it's albedo's turn to watch your expression drop, your world starting to spin and mix together when the adrenaline is gone and you're aware of what happened. it feels as if there's a lump in your throat but when you try to cough it up, only blood spills in a small trickle out of your mouth. "love-" there's another cough, the blood is running down your jaw as albedo's hands start to shake. he has no means of saving you out here, you're nowhere near camp and he can't leave you here while he gets help, "i want to go home..." your voice is weak, trailing off and albedo isn't sure if he should let the tears brinking his ocean coloured eyes fall as your breaths become raspy. chapped lips open and close, trying to find the words to reply to you but all he can muster is a weak "we're going home, dear" when your chest ceases to rise again. his breathing is jagged, clutching you close to him as if you’ll disappear for good when he lets go.

aether clings to you like ivy to a brick building. you give him hope in this search for his twin sister - one he's beginning to think is failing, day by day. you reassure him, that bright smile and sparkling eyes setting him on the right path. he's certain he would have gave up ages ago if it wasn't for you. but aether realises that he is constantly in danger. you love to adventure with, crossing the rolling hills of mondstadt and gawking at the grand mountain peaks of liyue that pierce through clouds.

it was only so long before he faced the repercussions for so willingly letting you travel with him, tearing his hope away in the blink of an eye.

"a-aether?" your voice is wavering, aether is confused. you've been travelling with him for so long now, what could possibly have scared you about some hilichurls? but he turns to face you, blade at the ready - ready to protect you. his eyes fall on the arrow lodged in your chest, your eyes wide in fear as you stare at him in panic. it was already too late to protect you, he'd failed himself. aether drops the sword in his hand, paying no mind to how it clutters on the gravel below you both when he's rushing forward to ease you to the ground. you're stable - awake but for how long? you're in shock, it's going to fade and you'll succumb to the blood reddening your attire. aether swears lightly under his breath, unable to look you in the eyes out of pure guilt; this was his fault, he hadn't protected you. now not only had he lost his sister, he'd lost his partner too. "it hurts to breathe," you mumble, your eyelashes are fluttering gently. the sun behind aether is starting to burn at your eyes, "aether why are you crying?" the blond isn't even aware of the salty tears that glisten in the sunlight when they roll down his cheeks, dripping off his jaw and onto your shoulder where aether has laid your head onto his lap. it's comfortable, just as it always is. on days where you needed a break from walking, aether would often let you lay like this under a nearby tree. the thought makes aether choke out a sob. you smile sadly. "you can't leave me too," your hand cups his cheek, thumb weakly stroking at the tearstained skin when he hiccups, "no, this isn't fair." there isn't civilisation for days and he can't keep the arrow lodged in your chest nor does he have the means of stopping the blood if he pulls it out. aether is at a loss, unable to do anything while he watches the damage done to you internally take you from him beneath his own hands. "hey, you'll find her." you sound so certain, just as you always do and aether watches that positive spark die from your eyes when your breaths turn to rasps and he finds himself yelling at your body - at the sky, at anybody! he yells and yells, hoping someone listens to his cries for you to wake up. wake up, please.

heizou believes that of all the cases he's cracked, you're his favourite. he's read every line written into your skin as you age, the blemishes that litter your body and tell tales untold. you were his favourite mystery but now he had you like a stained glass window, beautiful and on display. although as a detective, heizou has destroyed many more lives than he is keen to admit. his suspects have families - lives, presumably before he has them in jail or worse, life sentence.

their families are hurt, angrily in denial that their own blood could commit such vile atrocities. heizou took something precious from them, what was stopping them from doing the same to him in an act of revenge?

heizou is more than used to his routine of coming home to you, being able to drown in the comfort of your arms after a long day of work. he's disturbed by the front door being open but albeit it's the peak of summer in inazuma, the humidity is drowning you, especially if you're not native to the islands. you're not quick to greet them when he steps in however, in fact he can't even see you. the house is untouched but the silence is deafening. "i'm home," heizou calls out, brows knitting together when he doesn't hear you chime his name back excitedly, "love?" the silence is killing heizou, it's unlike you at all but then he hears it, the meek sound of you calling his name out back. it sounds like you're in the bedroom and with a relieved smile, heizou finds himself heading to find you. but verdant eyes fall on the red smeared on the walls, staining the bedsheets and pooling around you. the relief is gone and his body is tense with dread as he drops the case files he'd been holding, quick to kneel with you and hug you close when you reach for him. "what happened?" his voice is panicked, he's barely breathing when he feels your blood soak through his clothes. he's searching you for your wound, shaking, "love, answer me." your chapped lips open but nothing seems to come out, you feel cold to the touch and all you can do is stare up at heizou. you knew the moment you was attacked that this was it for you but your biggest fear wasn't death, it was heizou. it was your witty detective, keen and full of intuition that he prides himself in; it was whether you'd see him one last time before your heart put in its final beat. heizou doesn't take your inability to speak lightly, letting out a flurry of curses that makes your brows furrow in distaste. you wasn't fond of him swearing when he got stressed but as you watch a tear fall down his cheek, you know you can't argue about his tongue anymore. he has every right to be mad when your bloody hand reaches up for him, the warm palm of his hand quick to grab your hand and coat his fingers. "i love you," you mumble, raspy and heizou is quick to shake his head - conserve your energy, "don't cry please." "you're not allowed to leave me," he chokes out, his lower lip tugged between his lips as his spare hand presses on your wound to try stop the bleeding. you wince but heizou doesn't lighten the pressure in fear, "i'll find who did this." your lips curl up at his words and heizou leans to press a kiss to your forehead, which is clammy and covered in a light sheen. by the time he pulls away, he's the only one left breathing in the room. heizou's shaking hands cup your cheeks, eyes darting around the room when he doesn't quite know what to do. he's used to this - the blood, the smell, the touch of a lifeless body but not when it's you. not when it's the love of his life. he wails in anguish, the taste in his mouth bitter when he swears revenge on whoever took you from him.

kazuha took his time warming up to you when you first met. you didn't blame him, you'd heard the tale of his late friend from captain beidou when you first came onboard the alcor. but your patience with him warmed his heart quicker than expected, leaving you inseparable as you travelled with the crew. even on land, kazuha was joined to your hip. he claimed he was there to protect you and that excuse expanded tenfold when you started dating.

he should have never taken his eyes off you, simply searching for firewood shouldn't have consequences like this.

when the last treasure hoarder falls limp to the dusty ground, kazuha finds himself enveloping you in his arms, eyes frantically scanning your face for signs of pain. you're unresponsive, eyelashes shut but your breathing is shallow while your body fights the unexpected blood loss. "fuck," he whispers, much out of his comfort zone when he's trying to find exactly where your wound is. your blood is staining his skin, getting under his nails where it'll haunt and remind him of what happened for weeks, "y/n? love?" your brows knit as if you can hear him but he's unsure if you're just reacting to the pain. your body is most likely in shock and kazuha is running out of time before the shock fades and you're left in excruciating pain until your last breath. the thought makes kazuha feel sick. he was gone for at least ten minutes, how did he lose you so quickly? he shouldn't have told you to stay at camp by yourself. you'd offered to go with him but kazuha trusted you'd be safe without him, even just for a few minutes. his face turns sour at his own thoughts. how foolish had he been to think you'd have been safe without him? "i-i love you," he stutters out, voice cracking as he presses a kiss to your head, burying his nose in your hair when he tries to blanket himself in your scent - begging to the archons that he'll wake up in bed, "come on, let's go back to the alcor, beidou will get help." he's speaking to you in the softest of tones, his voice hushed as to not disturb the silence of the countryside - or attract more unwanted attention. carefully, kazuha raises himself to his feet with you in his arms. he sees tomo in you for a moment, forcing himself to swallow when there's a suffocating lump in his throat. by the time kazuha has stumbled back to the alcor, beidou rushing over with her face void of colour, your heart is no longer thudding against your ribcage. kazuha will never again hear your heartbeat when he lays his head on your chest or feel your pulse in your wrist when he grabs hold of you.

wanderer figured it was foolish to fall in love after all he'd gone through. what was love when you've been betrayed so many times before? when the archons have so harshly ripped the ones you love away from you? he likes to scowl and shun the premise of love until he met you, an adventurer from the guild assisting in vahumana darshan commissions. you would stubbornly strike conversations up with him, following him as he walked away until he finally caved and would reply.

was it foolish to fall in love or rather was it foolish to place his fragile trust back in the hands of the archons?

his ears are ringing, was mawtiyima forest always this loud? no, it's not even loud - it's silent. the silence is buzzing in his ears, driving him insane as he watches you cough blood onto the dirt. you'd been tasked with clearing out the treasure hoarder camp within the glowing forest - but wanderer isn't stupid. to let you do that alone? he'd be a mad man. but now he isn't too sure if he should have tagged along. would it have hurt him less to find out you'd passed away out on a commission through the guild? or is it hurting less to watch as you splatter that precious red that you humans rely on all over the ground? wanderer finds himself barely able to utter a word. that's rare, he usually has something to say in that stark, rude tone he never explicitly dropped. it made him cold, it stopped people approaching and getting close. why didn't it work against you? "w-why are you looking at me like that?" you croak out, pupils dilated and staring at him in concern. he's as pale as the snow on dragonspine but the tip of his nose is a pink hue as tears well up and sting at his widened eyes. he's not crying, he refuses to cry - he puts it down to not having blinked for a while. so he blinks but you're still hunched over, impaled by a polearm before him. he finally moves forward, kneeling carefully to the side of you as you let out a choked sob, your hands gripping his cold ones tight in yours. he's confused, what did he do to deserve it this time? he didn't ask for this existence in the first place. cursing under his breath, his eyes land on your sword on the floor. it's worn, getting dull and wanderer questions if you was unable to protect yourself properly. no. he didn't protect you properly and the archons saw an opportunity, another jab at his curse of an existence. his eyes dart between you and the blade, then the polearm that isn't welcome where it is. you wince, hiccuping as you wail into the silence of mawtiyima forest. your vision is falling hazy in between the blur of your tears and you're struggling to keep your eyes on your boyfriend's familiar face. "no, no, no - don't go," wanderer panics. it's the first thing he's said since he offered to join you on this commission, "don't leave me, not you too." you let out a sad laugh, coughing blood once more as your breaths get shorter with every one you take. wanderer feels sick, the tears are falling down his cheeks and he can't deny them anymore. there's a last breath, raspy and suffocating before your body falls forward into his arms, limp like a doll. wanderer screams out into the night, hands clutching at the guild's uniform you would proudly wear. how many more times was he going to witness someone getting hastily robbed from him?

xiao keeps his distance, even as your beloved boyfriend that you struggle to be away from for extended periods. you were stubborn, believing he didn't have to succumb to his karma as an adeptus. no matter how much he would shuffle away, he could guarantee you would shuffle after him until he no longer moved away. you still gave him his space - you knew you could find him at wangshu inn.

or if you really needed him, in the midst of the night for a multitude of reasons, you could say his name.

there's a lump in xiao's throat, what the fuck happened? one moment he knows he hears your hurried screams of his name, there's a shrill panic in your tone and he's alert in seconds. he thought you was perhaps in danger but when golden eyes see how you're leaning back on a tree, blood soaking your shirt - and your blade, he realises the danger is gone. and in all of your stubbornness, you had defeated the danger alone but put your life on the line as a result. you smile at him weakly, his footsteps silent as he rushes over to your side. "i got it, don't worry, love." you sigh, tilting your head back on the bark. xiao scowls, you're losing consciousness from the blood now, it's starting to pool beneath you and run down the cracks of the bark behind you. this isn't a minor injury and yet you hadn't called for him sooner? "we need to get you out of here - morax- zhongli- he can help," he barely breathes in between his words, swallowing at the tight feeling in his throat when your eyes are closing, "keep your eyes open, please." his beg falls short of no one's ears other than his own and the stars above. xiao stops breathing himself, holding his breath when he hurries to press the pads of his fingers to your neck, your wrist, anywhere he can try find a pulse. but there's nothing, your body is still warm and xiao pulls you flush to his chest when tears begin to fall down his cheeks. "keep.. them open. please." he repeats in a whisper, nudging his nose against your head as he buries his face into your hair. he's begging in hushed whispers, words disappearing into the strands of your hair in silent prayers.

kaeya was the one who chased you first, lisa's darling library assistant. he'd never spent so much time in the library in his life, other than crepus' own library at the winery but he wasn't much fond of that collection. he isn't much fond of the knights' collection either, reading the same book every day. jean occasionally entrusts you to handle matters in the valleys of mondstadt, to which kaeya is quick to always interfere and say that he'll go with you.

history will always repeat itself until the lesson is learned and an innocent soul has to face the reality.

thunder booms over head, followed by a distant crack of lightning that illuminates the dark sky above mondstadt. kaeya is stood, motionless as he looks at you. his eyes are distant, there's a vacant look about him when the blood is running down your bare legs and mixing with the rain. you're both soaked but your clothes are staining red where a mitachurl's axe caught you in the side. the blood is coming quick and heavy, there isn't time for kaeya to get you back to the city. this scene is familiar when you fall to your knees in the mud, hands holding at your side for pressure. suddenly, your hair is a bright shade of red. is kaeya about to stand and do nothing for a second time, when history is repeating himself right in front of his very own eyes? he swallows but it's difficult, rushing to your side. you're losing consciousness but your eyes are scanning his face. the sun kissed skin, the worn leather eyepatch and his messy blue ponytail that now looks like waterfalls cascading around his face. you smile at the thought. you should visit the waterfalls of mondstadt when the weather picks up so you can gawk at them. "baby?" it comes out of his mouth, barely audible above the rain, "say something - are you okay?" you almost throw back a playful retort but your vision is darkening around the edges and you're grasping to what sight you have left to look at kaeya. your vision blurs when tears threaten to spill - are you scared? you open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out. kaeya's gloved hands cup your face, pressing his forehead against yours. "stay with me, love, i can't lose you," kaeya's frantic and his words are jumbling when he panics, "we'll stop the bleeding and take you to sister barbara-" kaeya pauses when he notices you haven't blinked despite the rain falling onto your face when he pulls his forehead away. there's a distant look in your eyes, the light has faded and he can't feel the hot, struggled breaths you was taking against his skin anymore. a flurry of angered swears leave his lips and he's careful when he carries you bridal style to the dawn winery. it's the first place he thinks to take you, back to his brother who can't bear to see kaeya stood in the rain again with blood drenching his clothes from the long walk to the winery's front door.

© https-heizou 2023.

[i-put-the-hot-in-psychotic]

Target Acquired PART 1

Pairings: Keegan. P. Russ x Soldier!Reader

Enemies to Lovers Trope

Summary: You and Keegan were somewhat of enemies, if that could be said. You got shot by him when you were on a mission, and hide in a nearby warehouse, but what happens when you actually get to talking, and showing him that you are not a scared woman and you mean business as much anyone else.

Disclaimer: This story will contain curse words, war themes, gun shot wounds, and (NSFW) sexual themes in part 2.

"Fuck"

You seeth between your teeth. You got shot, but from where you don't know. You rested your back against the metal crate breathing deeply.

You are enemies.

He was good, shooting you like that. You couldn't see in the the dusty air surrounding you. The abandoned warehouse. You just need to get there, hide there at least until you patch yourself.

The building is dark and has no lights except for the sunlight from the broken windows. All of a sudden, footsteps start getting closer. A man turns into the room. It's him.

He points his gun at you, scanning your body.

"Take your weapons off and push them towards me." He demands.

"Why? You already shot me. Might as well end it here" you say as you leaned against the wall breathing heavy holding your abdomen and applying pressure.

He walks towards you, still pointing his gun at you. "I need to make sure you are unarmed first. Take your weapons off and put them on the ground. Now!"

Sighing heavily sending him daggers, as if you're in a position to shoot, you removed your weapons and shot them towards him with a kick of your foot.

"There happy?"

He catches each one of the weapons with a holt underneath his heavy boot.

"I need to search you." He says, after a moment of dead silence.

"Take off your clothes and throw them towards me."

You stop dead in your tracks. Eyes trying to meet his, sadly having the light come from behind him it made him just a silhouette. He wasn't serious was he?

The corner of his mouth rises into a slight smile. "You heard me. Remove your clothes."

"Keegan"

"What?"

"Im not going to. I gave you my weapons what more could you want. Leave me to bandage myself." you state finalizing your bandage with a knot.

His expression sharpens, becoming somewhat frustrated.

"You aren't going anywhere until I say so. Remove your clothes, now."

You get up, winching at the pain in your abdomen. Keegan got you good shooting just beneath your chest plate. You removed your chest plate and your thigh holsters. Giving him a look as he urged you to continue.

You removed your top leaving you in your string one and finally went to your cargo pants, removing your boots too.

"This isn't very ethical. Even during war" you state.

Your string top had blood all over it sticking to your naval, but pushing the pain away you strengthen in front of him, trying to subside your anger. He was not going humiliate you.

His eyebrows arch in surprise as he stares at your body. He walks around you, checking every crevice. The look on his face is of disbelief and... curiosity?

"I'm amazed you are putting up this much of a fight... "

"Can I get dressed now? " you reply unamused.

Silence.

You look at his eyes. What game is he playing? Thoughts gave him away from his eyes, but no ounce of emotion from behind his mask.

"Please turn around for me." He says in a calm but firm voice.

You turn around as he instructs. Breathing heavy having him behind your back, you prepare for the worst, arms and legs at the ready years of training on you.

Silence.

Not even the rifle's strap sound, nothing.

He looks up and down your body as if studying it. For a moment, he stares in silence, letting his eyes take everything in.

Finally, he clears his throat. "Alright, I'm done here." He starts walking towards the door. "Once I've left, get dressed and don't try anything stupid."

"So what? What was this all for? Wanted to feel some power over me? That's why you had me take my uniform off?" You reply angry.

"Haven't seen a woman I presume"

You hit a nerve.

He was close to the door leaving. Smirking he wasn't the only one in power here.

He stops walking. This is the first time you've seen his expression change. He's... amused?

"You aren't scared of me?" He asks.

Normally, people are petrified. This is the first time someone's talked to him like this.

You turn and move towards him. He towers over you full gear on. You still in your under uniform garments.

"I'm scared of no one" you say directly looking in his eyes.

The tension in the air grows as your two bodies are now just inches apart.

He takes a small step forward, invading your personal space. He stares down at you, unblinking. You feel like you are caught in a trance, as if you cannot look away.

"You're not scared of me, hmm?"

"Never" you whisper to him.

He inches closer. Your lips are now only a few centimeters apart, his covered by his mask.

His eyes pierce into yours. He seems transfixed, almost like a predator watching its prey.

There is a slight smile on his lips. He speaks barely aloud in a teasing tone.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure"

You inch closer actually meaning what you're saying. As he angles his head closer you reply; "You should get going, they might be wondering where their leader went. Wouldn't want them to know you were with the enemy would you?" you say walking backwards away from him.

"Hmm... and what if I wanted to be with the enemy?" He steps toward you again, matching your walking pace but remaining only an inch or two behind you.

His lips curl into a devilish smirk and he tilts his head curiously to the side like he can't believe how brave you are.

You're shocked, yet not surprised that would be something he would say, however you remained stoic.

"Maybe the enemy doesn't want to be with you" you tantalize.

He pauses for a moment, still following behind you but not moving any closer.

His eyes are darting around your body, trying to take it all in. He speaks again in a voice that's somehow both playful and yet deadly.

"You're a bold one, aren't you?"

You start to dress back into your uniform, wanting to leave. Finally putting on your cargo pants you don't reply to him.

"Hey..."

He speaks, but at first his voice is so low that you ignore it.

"Hey!"

He tries again, yelling this time. He can't let you leave. And there's something else in his voice, a hint of desperation.

You heavily sigh wanting this game to end. Dressed, you walk towards him hitting his shoulder with yours making your way out of the building.

He grabs your wrist before you can walk further, spinning you around to face him.

For the first time, you see that deep down, he's not a monster. There is a hint of humanity and emotion in his eyes.

"Can I ask you something?"

Without replying you looked at his hand wrapped around your wrist then at him. Lets hear this you think.

He grips your wrist tighter, not hard enough to hurt but just enough to show you he's not letting go.

He stares back into your eyes, studying them, trying to read them.

"Why... are you so fearless?" he asks.

You frown at that. Remembering things that made you who you are today.

"Life" you reply.

For a moment, you see a flash of empathy in his eyes before he quickly masks it with his usual expression. "Right."

He pauses, then lets go of your wrist. He stares silently for another moment then finally breaks the silence. "You're different... "

"So are you" you say heading back to the outside world wanting this scene to end not knowing what actually happened between you two. Hand on the door handle you turn looking to wards him. "See you on the battlefield" you say opening the door.

He stays perfectly still, letting you walk outside first. You notice that he seems almost sad, like he's lost something.

You feel his eyes following you out. They are full of curiosity as if he's wondering if he'll ever see you again.

You are both very different people, but for some reason, you have this strange feeling that you are somehow connected to each other.

[all4aoki]

⠀⠀ ☆ ░ ִ⠀ׂ NOW PLAYING . . . Hype Boy (250 Remix) NewJeans

your boys love your instagram almost as much as you do . . . enha x f!reader, poly!enha, enha8thmember

wc . . . 2.7k , warnings ! none, just fluff!

©all4aoki, 2024

You were very proud of the image you’d built yourself. It was the perfect mix of your authentic self, the sensitive and shy, with the personality HYBE had wanted for you, borderline hyper feminine and maybe a little more energetic than you usually were. But nonetheless, the soft, princess-y aesthetic you now exuded was something you thoroughly enjoyed. Fans did too, and that made sharing your life with them all that more enjoyable.

“Are you sure I’m centered?” you asked Sunoo and he shuffled backwards a bit at your question. “Sun, that’s not an answer.”

“Calm down, princess, I'm just trying to get your whole outfit in the frame,” he said, eyes glued onto your phone screen. Finding places to take Instagram pictures at music shows was difficult. Not to say you weren’t a fan of the infamous pink wall of MBC, or the stairs from KBS, but you were a perfectionist and could only take so many pictures in front of them. So, after finding the prettiest spot by a large set of windows that showcased the beautiful weather that day, you couldn’t help but stop to snap a few pictures for a future post or photo dump.

You were just lucky that you had the most amazing boyfriends to help you take pictures.

“Woah! Did I just die and go to heaven?” You continued posing as Heeseung and Jake walked by, deciding to join you and Sunoo.

“Get out of here, Heeseung-hyung. She doesn’t need you distracting her–” Sunoo’s jaw dropped a bit as you changed the way you were standing once again. “Yah, what did they put in your water today?”

You giggled, feeling your face heat up at the compliments being thrown your way. “Stop!”

“So pretty!” Jake cheered as the three boys smiled at your fluster. “Gorgeous! Amazing! Wonderful!”

“Ahh!” you cried, covering your face with your hands to try and hide the pink that’d joined the makeup blush on your cheeks. You had a love-hate relationship when your boyfriends would watch you take photos. It was adorable with the way they fawned over you, shouting praises and fighting over who was holding the camera. But whenever they were around, you always ended up having too much fun instead of taking your tasks seriously.

That, and they had a rather cruel enjoyment of teasing you.

“Cute!” Heeseung joined Jake’s encouragements, using a tone that was similar to when he spoke to cute kids or animals.

Sunoo ignored them, but a small smile still remained on his lips. Anyone could tell that he was simply enjoying the sight of you. “Turn your head to the left a little,” he instructed and you did as he asked. And as you smiled for the camera, their small gasps of awe and tiny cheers continued. The three boys couldn’t believe you were real. The way your hair flowed effortlessly and how your makeup had been applied that day only added to your natural beauty. And the way the rhinestone decorated skirt clung to your hips and the matching top wrapped around your torso made you appear almost dreamlike. But they figured it made sense that someone so beautiful on the inside was also unbelievably stunning on the outside.

It was the little moments like these that they took to bask in their love for you. Watching as you act so naturally was like watching the sun break through the clouds on a rainy day, giving them spurts of happiness through the stressful times of promotion. When you shyly accepted their words of affection, that relaxed, blissed feeling of everything being at ease spread through each of them.

“Okay, okay,” you said suddenly, running up to Sunoo to grab your phone. “I’m done now.”

“What?” Sunoo said, turning his body so your hand missed the electronic. “But I didn’t even get any with you!”

“I didn’t know that you wanted to take any!” you laughed, trying to swipe for your phone again. Sunoo nodded his head as he maneuvered his arms so they were wrapped around you.

Jake took the phone from the younger, “I want some too.”

You sighed, walking back to the spot by the window as Sunoo clung onto your back. “Heeseung-oppa I’m guessing you’ll want some too?”

He grinned, “Of course.”

“Ok. Can you kiss me first?” Sunoo asked, interrupting Heeseung. In response, your hands found their way to the soft skin of his cheeks and Sunoo tilted his head over your shoulder so you could reach him. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Jake angling the phone with a few words of help from Heeseung. Sunoo nudged your head with his, drawing your attention back to him, “Kiss me.”

Without wasting another second, you did just that. Your fingers trailed along the skin of his neck as he pressed his lips against yours again and again. The faint sound of the iPhone camera shuttering being the only thing keeping you from losing yourself in the love you had for your boyfriends.

After you had satisfied the three’s need for pictures with you, you all quickly carried on with the day. The hours were long when it came to Music Shows. The actual recordings were over faster than you could’ve originally guessed, but the time spent waiting for the winners to be revealed tested your patience no matter what mood you were in. So, in order to distract from the mind-numbing boredom and the longing to sleep, you always turned yourself over to the rest of the group. And usually, they had no trouble keeping you entertained.

This day was no exception.

Riki was more than happy when you waltzed over after cooling down and motoring the performance, plopping yourself down onto the couch before cuddling up into his side. He didn’t hesitate to brush your hair out of the way so it wouldn’t be pulled on and blissfully helped you get comfortable on his lap.

“I need your opinion,” you said, suddenly shoving your phone screen in front of his face. He took the device from you, discovering the pretty photos of you in your outfit from the day’s stage. “Which ones should I post?” you asked and he began to swipe through them. Riki’s chin fell onto your shoulder, resting on it as he looked over the pictures. Your scent infiltrated his senses, and he melted a bit at the comforting sensation.

Riki clicked his tongue after a moment, tilting his head so it was resting on the side of yours. “I don’t know if any of them are good.”

Your head snapped to the side, looking behind you at what he was seeing and ultimately pushing his head off yours.

“What’re you…” Oh. On the screen was one of the pictures you’d taken with Sunoo, your cheeks pressed together as he smiled and you were halfway through a laugh. “Ah Riki-san,” you giggled as he resumed going through the pictures, getting to the ones of you and Jake. “Did you want some pictures with me?”

His full lips pushed out into a pout. “No– Wow, with Heeseung-hyung too?” You slapped his chest softly in protest.

“You were getting ready, Ki. I didn’t want to interrupt you,” you explained and his warm brown eyes turned to you, gaze gentle with admiration. “Hmm?” you questioned after a moment of silence. His head ducked down to kiss your cheek.

“Let’s take some now.”

“I thought you didn’t want any?”

He opened the camera app, “Well, I want to be featured in your Instagram post.”

At the words ‘Instagram’ and ‘Post’ Jay, who’d been sitting in a chair near the couch Riki and you were snuggled into, abruptly found interest in what you both were doing. Deciding to disregard how the older was now staring at you both, you made a half heart with your hand and held it up to Riki’s cheek.

“Can I do a heart pose with you?”

Riki rolled his eyes, but the hints of a smile gave him away. “Fine.”

You let out a small ‘Yay’ as the two of you got situated. He angled the camera and took a few pictures with the pose you’d requested before he delicately grabbed your face, maneuvering it closer to his so your cheeks were touching and your lips were almost on his.

“Riki-san–” your voice was muffled as his fingers squished your cheeks together.

“You don’t have to post these, but you should send them to me, princess.” Your heart trembled at the nickname that the younger was so fond of using.

The corners of your lips brushed, but Riki pulled away before you could actually move to kiss him. His expression read expectant, “Of course I’ll send them to you, Ki.”

He gave you a quick peck. “I think Jay-hyung wants a picture now.” It was true, Jay had gotten up from his spot on the chair and was now standing awkwardly by one of the gray plastic tables in the center of the dressing room. You pretended to groan as Riki assisted you in getting off of his lap, thighs brushing yours and making your face feel warm.

“You guys have never shown this much interest in my Instagram before,” you said as you pranced over to your older boyfriend. His hands found your waist instantly, and before you could process what was happening, you were being lifted off the ground and into Jay’s arms.

Riki, like the photography geek he was, had been snapping photos while Jay pulled you up so he was holding you bridal style. “We are, I don’t think you’ve ever noticed before, though.”

“It’s an honor to be on your feed,” Jay added, and you tried to not focus on how he was gripping your legs. No matter how long you’d been dating all of them, they still had the ability to make those butterflies erupt in your stomach and your heart race with love.

You wound your arms around his neck and made eye contact with the phone that was pointed at you and Jay.

“It’s an honor that you guys want to be on my feed.”

Jay’s thumb rubbed against your leg comfortingly, “Of course we want to be included with everything you do. We’re in love with you.”

You cooed faintly at his words, “I love you.”

“I love you too!” Riki called, taking one more picture before getting up himself and bringing your phone over to you. Jay refused to put you back down as you reached for the youngest. So you settled for caressing Riki’s cheek with your hand after taking back your phone.

“Love you, Ki.”

“Yeah. And since you love me so much you should be posting me today.”

The urge to take off your makeup had never been so strong before. You were exhausted, but the day of promotions was finally over and it was time to head back to the dorms. All you longed to do was throw yourself onto the large couch in the main room and cuddle with your boys. Maybe watch an old Disney movie too. Sangmi definitely would appreciate that.

The chatter from the other members as they got ready to leave fell as white noise onto your ears as you got your things around. One of your least favorite things was when you would accidentally leave things behind at music shows, therefore a new habit of yours that quickly formed after your debut was double and triple checking that everything you brought ended up right back in your bag.

Mentally, you ran through your list as you shuffled through the light pink My Mum Made It puffer bag. Phone charger, vitamins, perfume, hair clips–

“What is this I’ve heard about you taking pictures with everyone but me today?”

“Hello to you too, Hoon.” His arms slipped around your middle from behind and he peeked over you as you made sure you had everything.

“Can I have one too, baby?”

You leaned back to leave a kiss on his neck, “Of course. I just need to find my water bottle first. I don’t know where it went.”

“It’s on the vanity over here,” Sunghoon said as he tilted his head towards the left.

“Thanks, Hoon,” you replied as you took his hands to free yourself from his grasp. He didn’t let go of your hand though. Instead, he gripped onto you even tighter, your fingers feeling small as they clutched onto his thumb, and you pulled him along with you to grab the last thing you needed.

Swiftly, you grabbed the metal water bottle and moved to head back to your bag before he stopped you. “Mirror selfie?” Sunghoon offered.

“Ooh, yeah let’s do it.” You checked over your hair and makeup for a moment, deciding that while the style had fallen a bit flat and the makeup had begun to wear off, you still looked presentable. Both you and Sunghoon had changed out of your stage outfits, you wearing the brown skirt you’d shown up in today, with one of Heeseung’s white long-sleeved shirts on your top half. Sunghoon was wearing dark brown, almost black, slacks with a beige sweater that had a button-down white shirt underneath.

You turned to face him, and hugged him tightly, foot popping up behind you as you winked at the camera through the mirror.

Sunghoon chuckled, “Okay, now do a serious one.”

He let his own free arm fall to rest around your hips as you dropped your leg and smiled gently at the phone. After a minute, he decided that was enough and pulled up the pictures for you to check.

“Wah, we look so good!”

Sunghoon grinned at you, “I think it’s impossible for you to look bad.”

All you could do was tuck your head and giggle into his chest. Trying to hide your giddiness was never easy, especially when it was one of the things Sunghoon always searched for.

As soon as you had gotten into the car with Jungwon, Jay, and Sunghoon, you had fallen asleep.

Jungwon’s wide shoulders were just too comfortable to resist, and with the feeling of safety and happiness in your heart, as well as sleep pushing your eyelids closed, you were quick to drift off. You didn’t dream of anything, though, and as soon as the car began to approach the dorms, Jungwon shook you awake gently.

“Hi, dolly,” he said sweetly and you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. You kept your head on his shoulder as the car slowly wound down the road towards the dorm. The feeling of his hand rested on your own and you blinked heavily, enjoying the feeling of relaxation. Until you saw your phone in your boyfriend’s hand, your Instagram account pulled up on the screen.

“Hey, Yang Jungwon-ssi, what’re you doing with my phone?”

He leaned forward at the same time as you did, refusing you of your device.

“He posted for you,” Jay said from the seats behind you where he sat with Heeseung. “Really cute. ENGENEs are loving it.”

You glanced up at Jungwon, suspicious, “Let me see.”

The three boys laughed.

“Jungwon-oppa what did you post!” you laughed nervously and Jungwon shook his head. With him distracted by your reaction, you tugged his arm closer to you so you could look at it.

The first picture was one of the ones you’d taken by yourself, a cute one of you holding your skirt and laughing. Still not believing that the boys had posted anything skeptical of your relationship, you continued looking through them. There was a picture of you and Sunoo (the one that Riki had pointed out earlier) and the one with Jake where you were leaning onto his chest. The one with Heeseung standing behind you, his chin propped up on your head and one of each of the pictures you’d taken with Riki and Jay. There was your mirror picture with Sunghoon and…

One of you sleeping on Jungwon, your mouth open and a string of drool slipping out of the corner of your mouth.

“YAH YANG JUNGWON!” You finally tore the phone out of his hands, “What is this?” you cried.

The three of you boyfriends only laughed hysterically at your reaction. “Don’t you look so cute?” Jungwon asked.

“Oh my goodness, my idol image.”

“You don’t even look bad, princess, you just look adorable,” Sunghoon said.

You huffed out a breath of air, pouting and leaning even further onto Jungwon. “You guys are going to be the death of me.”

Jungwon pointed at something on the screen, “At least we made the caption cute.”

dollerina ENGENEs aren’t the only ones obsessed with me💕😁

마리셀의 노트 , newjeans release more music puh-lease!😭 I miss you

[brigdh]

I want to talk about Izzy's rant to Ed in episode 10, the one that brings out the Kraken. I've seen a lot of different descriptions of what is going on in this scene – death threat, homophobic slurs, etc – and I don't think either of those are what's actually what's happening.

Let's look at it closely, line by line, and the way Ed reacts, from the very beginning of the scene.

Ed: Well, feels nice to tidy up a little. Can't believe I was living like this. Can you, Iz? Izzy? Izzy: I'm going to speak plainly. Ed: Wonderful. You know we share our thoughts on this ship.

Izzy, cont: This, whatever it is that you've become... is a fate worse than death.

Okay. So there we've got what some have interpreted as a death threat. But does Ed seem threatened? He's startled, certainly, put on his back foot – literally – but he doesn't look afraid or alarmed to me. He draws in a slow breath, assessing the situation, but overall seems more confused than frightened.

In fact he laughs it off with his next line:

Izzy then escalates the level of aggression in the conversation:

But Ed, again, looks more confused than anything. Check out that furrowed brow, that head tilt! This is a man going "what is your deal?", not a man thinking "uh-oh, you might kill me!".

Extremely noticeably, even when Izzy storms right up into his face, Ed holds steady. He doesn't run, doesn't lean back, doesn't hunch his shoulders or drop eye contact – there is no vulnerability or defensiveness in Ed's body language at all. Ed is in supreme control of this confrontation – look at the slow way he deigns to turn back to the paper Izzy's holding! As though he's making the point that he chooses when to turn, not Izzy:

Then we have the "homophobic slur". But watch closely:

Ed does not react to "namby-pamby", "silk gown", or "pining" at all. He doesn't even blink. He barely seems like he's hearing Izzy. His entire attention is on the picture.

Ed's body language and behavior changes at one word and one word only, and that is "boyfriend". As soon as Izzy says it, Ed's furious:

(It's even easier to notice when you actually watch the scene instead of using gifs, because Izzy really draws out 'piiiiiiining', putting a lot of time between the first half of the sentence and 'boyfriend'.)

Why is the use of the word 'boyfriend' so important?

Well, what has Ed been doing all episode? He's been crying in a blanket fort and singing sad songs, yes, but he's been keeping a careful level of mystique about why he's doing it. Ed often uses distanced circumlocutions instead of directly acknowledging his emotions, but he's doing it in this episode even more so than usual:

Here are the lyrics to his song:

(Version one, with Lucius) Hanging on By a thread Hanging on Shouldn't let go If I let go, all will fall Fingers bleeding down to the bone now Can't let go Nothing makes sense Hold on Hold on Hold... on

(Version two, performed for the whole crew) Just let go Make yourself let go Make it go away Away, away today Life's a hard sad death And then you're Deaaad

Notice something? There is no mention of Stede, or love, or break-ups, or abandonments, or relationships in general. All Ed discusses is a vague life-sucks attitude, which could apply to basically anyone under any circumstances. He seems pretty okay with people knowing that Blackbeard is having some sort of weird emotional breakdown as long as he convinces himself that no one knows it's specifically from having his heart broken

This is true of everything Ed says and does for this entire episode. He never once even mentions Stede's name, unless "Farewell, Bonnet's playthings" at the very end counts. The only thing Ed openly admits to feeling bad about is a fictional character who's having a hard time "holding on" (holding on to what? he never says). There are no allusions to heartbreak or romance anywhere in his dialogue.

Now, Ed's not stupid. I'm sure he knows Izzy and Lucius and the rest of the crew can connect the dots and realize that something bad happened with Stede, even if Ed doesn't fill them in on the details. But Ed is also traumatized, and has a whole host of coping mechanisms set up to help him avoiding thinking about things that he doesn't want to think about. If he's not a murderer because "technically the fire killed those guys", then no one knows he's heartbroken because technically he hasn't acknowledged it.

Until Izzy says the word 'boyfriend'. Suddenly the secret is out, and Ed can't handle it. Izzy knows his weakness. That's why this word effects Ed more than anything else Izzy says in the whole scene.

At the end of the confrontation, he hears the crew calling for another song. Look at Ed here. He looks as haunted, as disturbed, in this moment as he does at any point in Izzy's rant.

This is an important part of the scene, not just a closing note. Because if Izzy (the Caribbean's most emotionally constipated man) can see through him, obviously the whole crew can too.

Obviously Lucius – who advised Ed on his and Stede's relationship, who played along with Ed's 'fictional character' claim, who wrote down Ed's lyrics – can do so most of all.

There's a direct emotional logic to Ed killing Lucius because he had a fight with Izzy, and it doesn't involve Ed having been threatened or hate crime'd at all. Ed doesn't deal well with his own feelings (from Stede), so he chooses to become Blackbeard/the Kraken and gets rid of all the witnesses who saw otherwise.

[catsharky]

I am in awe of how consistently your draw characters faces?????? i struggle a lot with that, may i inquire if you have any tips to share on that front???

Sure! This took a little bit because I wanted to put some visuals together.

Unfortunately, as it always is with art, the main tip is just... practice. Not in the sense that you have to sit down and do drills, but in that the more times you draw a character, the more consistent they'll naturally start to look because you won't be figuring out how you want to draw them on the fly. Even I struggle to keep a character consistent when I first start drawing them, and it usually takes me a little bit to settle on how I want them to look. If you look back at my earlier Mass Effect comics, my Shepard looked quite a bit different then to how I draw her now. And I know it can be hard to get a sense of time from something like tumblr posts, but those changes happened across a span of six months. So be patient with yourself!

As for specifics though, I'd say the main thing that can help with consistency is to think of it less as one big whole and break it down into smaller pieces. What features need to be there for a character to read as that character? If you take something away, does it still look like them? How do their features differ from another character's?

For example, I compared Ember with my Shepard and tried to point out what goes through my mind and what I think about when I'm drawing them (besides obvious things like hairstyle/horns):

Additionally, reference!! Reference makes such a big difference. Any time I'm drawing a character, I'll pull up previous drawings I've done of them so I can check how I drew them before. I also have a small standing mirror that sits on my desk. If I'm not sure how something should look? I can just look at my own face to get an idea of what should be going on.

On top of all that (though this is something that won't apply to most original characters), because Ember is based on my in-game BG3 Tav I just have a big folder of screenshots that I've taken of her that I look at whenever I'm drawing her. I've never posted what she looks like in-game, but here she is:

(I love her so much)

I do something similar for most existing characters I draw. I have folders for each of them that are just a bunch of reference images of them at different angles, so I never have to wonder how something should look.

I hope this helps at least a little, and if anyone wants more specifics about anything, feel free to ask!

[freakadr0id]

Oh my GOD, I just realized why Donnie acts so weird in Man vs. Sewer. I always thought his behavior was odd in that episode, particularly in his nonchalance towards finding and saving Raph - but I had the most random thought occur to me during work that TOTALLY explains it. I'm sure some people have probably pointed this stuff out already, but I wanted to put this out there anyway.

The episode 'Man-vs-Sewer' is a personal favorite of mine. I love the episodes where the boys are just goofing off, and this episode is that plus some. We see get to see the boys having fun for a bit at the start of the episode, but it also adds a bit more depth to some of the turtles. We see a really surprising side to Raph's character with his fear of being alone, and Leo gets to shine a bit as a leader and hint at his true potential.

However, I was always a bit puzzled by the way Donnie and Mikey were written in this episode. As a rule, Rise is pretty good about keeping its characters, well, in character, so their behavior struck me as kind of strange, particularly Donnie's.

If there is one thing Rise NAILS about Donnie's character is showing that despite struggling with emotions and empathy, he is still NOT AN ASSHOLE. Donnie genuinely and deeply loves his family - he just has a hard time expressing it externally.

'Man-vs-Sewer' kind of stood out to me as an exception to that, however. At this point, Donnie's care for his brothers is an undisputed fact, so why does he seem so unconcerned about finding Raph after being separated? Even for Donnie, this seems like an ooc level of indifference towards the well-being of his brother (at least that's how I saw it).

Except, it isn't. In fact, this episode only reinforces that Donnie does care for his family, it's just a *bit* harder to see here.

One thing many neurodivergent people struggle with is a sudden change in plans. When they expect to do something that day it can be very difficult for some neurodivergent people to deal with it emotionally and can lead to immense frustration or even shutdowns. Since Donnie is confirmed to be, at the very least, autistic coded, this would absolutely apply to him as well.

The turtles planned to have a nice, relaxing day floating along New York's sewers and enjoying a small break from all the stress of finding the Dark Armor. No fighting, no mystic metal, no foot clan. Just a calm day of fun without a care in the world - only for it to be ruined by a bad pass and a lost brother.

I know if my plans were ruined like that, I would be in an absolutely FOUL mood. It can be hard to transition into a different mindset when the expectations for the day change like that, and it can make anyone frustrated, but Donnie doesn't appear to be that way. In fact, he's acting extremely casual.

Even though everything he was going to do today was upended and his brother is now missing in the New York sewers, why does Donnie seem so unconcerned about the whole situation?

Answer: It's a coping mechanism.

It would be very easy for him to be a bit more annoyed and frustrated at the whole situation (I definitely would be), but he isn't. Instead, he avoids getting overwhelmed and emotional by continuing through the day as if nothing has really changed.

The whole time they are finding Raph, Donnie behaves as if they are still on a peaceful, carefree mini-vacation. He makes snide jokes and jabs toward Leo, enjoys the drinks he brought in his shell, and constantly reminds the others that it is his "day off." If he can act as though he's still relaxing, it becomes easier to adjust to unexpected alterations in his day. This isn't Donnie being willfully inconsiderate towards Raph being lost and alone, this is just him trying to manage with the sudden changes the best he can in that moment.

If Donnie really was an uncaring asshole (as some may be inclined to believe given his apparent lack of empathy), he simply would have resumed their original plans, or been more vocally resistant to going after Raph. Instead, he joins his brothers in their search, and although he may not provide the best input for finding Raph because of his coping method (his brain is in "day off" mode which is why he keeps missing clues about Raph), he is still making an effort.

In a way, the episode which I thought portrayed a slightly out-of-character version of Donnie actually provides yet another example of how Donnie really loves his brothers, despite how it may seem on the surface.

~-~-~

(Actually, depending on the way you interpret his character, the same can be said for Mikey in this episode as well. Mikey is always a bit of a goofball in the show but in this episode, it is dialed up to 11. He also doesn't seem to much care or effort into finding Raph and acts like a child who managed to snag one of their parents' energy drinks. If we consider that maybe he is also struggling to adapt to the changes of the day, this could be him adopting a similar coping method to Donnie, it is just amplified because of his hyperactive behavior and personality.)

[myunghology]

✧ poly relationship with genshin characters.

— ✦ gender neutral reader, headcanons, fluff/crack. [ a/n ; the things i do for fame. sighs . I'M JOKING HAPPY 400 GUYS <33 ] requests ; closed.

— ✦ # 1. xiao + aether

you are the most protected person in teyvat. okay no not really— but.. they both ARE really protective over you. you keep telling them that you can 'handle yourself.' they know it's true, but they can't help but always check up on you. especially because they've lost some important people that were close to them.. yknow..?

but let's not get too focused on that! put that aside. let's talk about their love languages! xiao and aether both share the same thoughts on quality time. especially because they're both so busy. with two boyfriends who are always busy— one being an adeptus and one being an errand boy.

therefore— they always try to find ways to spend quality time with you. what do you mean rumors go around that the traveler and adeptus xiao didn't do anything or even help anyone today? what have they been doing..? spending time with you? maybe...

let's talk about aether! aethers love languages are, quality time and gift giving. he's always out and going to different places now a days. so of course he brings souvenirs once he goes back home. and of course you keep them somewhere safe. even if it's a plant of some sort. he even brought you a ring. xiao too, of course!

and xiao.. definitely quality time and words of affirmation. he loves being told sweet things, he needs reassurance too from you and aether! maybe a bit of acts of service too. just call his name and he'll be there! sometimes you and aether team up to mess up with your grumpy boyfriend. <3

— ✦ #2. zhongli + childe

okay, for sure, ur the most protected person in teyvat. these two are super strong! but let's kick that away again. you are either the most spoiled individual here, or ur the one spoiling them. with affection or/and... money.

that was pretty short, but anyway. unlike those two up there ^ they know you can fight and defend yourself, at least zhongli knows, childe just fights for you if he's there. let him do everything... for now.

let's move on to love languages! of course we have gift giving for childe, spoils you every way possible, doesn't stop even when you tell him too, he thinks you and zhongli deserve it! just tell him if you want anything, he'll search for it once he's out on missions! another one is quality time too... like aether, childe is pretty busy too. therefore— he cherishes the time you guys have.

now zhongli.. acts of service! just ask him to help you and he will, applies with childe, too! don't be shy. unlike those three, his love language is also physical touch. holding hands, etc. all in all, you're in pretty good hands.

— ✦ #3. cyno + tighnari

i have a lot in mind for them HAHA. first of all, they don't look like it, but they tease you a lot. second of all— how did you get in this relationship? collei questions that often too. how did you get those two on a chokehold? seeing that you're in a relationship with these two, you're probably close to collei as well. besides that, these two are really protective. probably different in their own ways too. tighnari scolds you but in reality, he's just looking out for you and he's just worried, cyno on the other hand asks if you're okay, the only thing they have in common with this is they both are passive aggressive with it.

okay, enough about that, let's talk about their love languages! they're both biased to quality time, of course, they're both super busy. especially cyno, being a so called 'lord' by some people isn't easy, yknow. they both have to tutor collei, too. ‘nari does most of it though. sometimes you come with him, try not to distract collei though! you'll get a scolding.

the only negative about your relationship is that these two put a lot of pressure on you, just ignore them for a day and they'll apologize ;). it only happens once a year don't worry hahah, they really feel bad, just elbow them in the chest too they'll shut the fuck up lol,, i still have a lot of ideas but ill save that for another work, ps. cyno please put ur grippers away.

©miihai ; would some1 famous like this

[olomaya]

Toddler Bed : Now CASTable!

Thanks so much to @id-element0 for making the bed CAStable! You can download it here. Please note it will overwrite the one you have downloaded in the game (but you'd probably want to anyway).

I am working on an update to the bed that will allow Teens+ to tell bedtime stories to toddlers. Also to fix the "twitch" toddlers get after jumping off and some clipping, so stay tuned.

Older updates:

The updated version includes the proper animations that were meant for release and the following small fixes:

Tuck In interaction should now only show up when a toddler is actually sleeping (will not show up during naps)

Fun motive delta for jumping on the bed should be working now

I added a small energy drain for jumping as well (you can reduce further or remove entirely in the ITUN file)

Tuck In now only available for Sims that have a good relationship (30+ LTR) with the toddler (no randos tucking in your child)

@bh506 already let me know of one issue so if anyone is having similar issues after redownloading, please let me know!

Description:

This is a toddler bed, similar to Arsil's Napping Mat which was a big inspiration and great reference for me, especially the genius idea of using a geostate instead of dealing with pesky bed animations.

If you have the napping mat (you don't need it for this bed), you already know the deal. Toddlers can autonomously sleep or nap in the bed (they will climb in and out of it themselves with no adult help).

Toddlers can also jump on the bed for fun but they shouldn't because it's dangerous! They can fall while getting off and hurt themselves. If a teen or adult is around, they will stop automatically.

If a toddler is in a bad mood and is sleeping, they may have a bad dream and wake up and won't be able to go back to sleep for a couple of hours. (I forgot to mention that they won't get a bad dream if they have the Cuddle Time moodlet which you get from sleeping with a stuffed animal.) They can find an adult they trust and complain and be consoled which will get rid of the negative moodlet and allow them to fall back asleep. They can also do this if they get injured from jumping on the bed.

Credits/thanks: Arsil for inspiration and script references. The bed mesh is from TS4 but the blanket is from @aroundthesims. Old bed jumping animations from TheSweetSimmer have been removed but still going to include her!

Thanks to @nobodysgirl333, there's an alternative SFS link if you're having trouble with Box downloads.

Download HERE / SFS (CASTable version HERE)

______________

Please read additional info and details after the cut

Additional Notes:

You can copy the script to apply to other beds but of course depending on the size/height/position of the mesh, the animations may look weird. Update: You need to make sure that bed object has a 2 routing slots, however, named Slot.RoutingSlot_0 and Slot.RoutingSlot_1, otherwise the Sim will reset.

I set the energy motive to be low because toddlers IRL sleep a long time but you can go into the ITUN and adjust if you want.

Some of the animations are little wonky because I'm using a mix of TS4, TS3 and a period of about 10 months in terms of my confidence/skill level with Blender.

This is originally based off a crib mesh so the entry slot is only on one side (see pic below). You can put the left side against a wall but note toddlers won't be able to jump on the bed and other Sims won't be able to tuck them in since that is where they route to do so.

@pis3update @katsujiiccfinds @kpccfinds @xto3conversionsfinds