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egg-emperor · 5 months

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Game canon Eggman is pure evil y'all, rest assured to my fellow evil Eggman enjoyers. He's never acted for any reason that wasn't fueled by his evil/selfish intentions. I've carefully analyzed him in all of his scenes for hours and hours for years and years. I don't need to theorize, speculate, or insist on personal interpretations to get to this conclusion because I specifically go by what the games tell and show me undeniably.

I analyze very literally, not abstract or based on how I feel about it, only literally what I can see and hear. I feel this avoids a lot of unnecessary confusion and complication and it can actually be this way and yet still have a lot of depth to it to explore despite this. I don't see appeal in straying too far with the what ifs rather than the literals that are deliberately blatantly presented because the former is when bias can seep in.

But I know some probably think, "If you think I'm biased because I don't like pure evil Eggman so I don't want to see him as such, why aren't you biased for not liking less than pure evil Eggman? What if you're just seeing what you want to see?" But with the way I only go by what's blatantly there to see and hear in the games themselves in bold explicit forms, I feel I avoid any chance of bias.

I don't like to admit this but when I was younger, I had some incorrect interpretations about Eggman. Yes, even me. XD I never thought he was this completely good and caring guy but I definitely didn't have the most accurate understanding of who he was, how he'd act in certain situations, and what he is or isn't likely to say or do. A lot of my own personal biases at the time were to blame.

Years of heavy studying and analysis got me to where I am now. And I realized he said or did the exact opposite in the games to what I thought he'd do or wrote in my silly private fanfics back then. So I started to look at him neutral and unbiased, without expecting or wanting anything specific and letting it influence my perception. Only exactly what I could hear him say and see him do instead.

I rebuilt my understanding into what it is now and ever since, it has stayed completely consistent. Every new piece of media just reaffirms it or gives me new stuff to add that tracks and doesn't contradict the old in the slightest. I'm still having new revelations, discoveries and eyes opened to new things about him but they only further prove, develop, and strengthen my understanding now.

This was all done by me just shutting off these biased parts of my mind and letting the game canon show me who he was, not by my own personal desires and influences. Then I realized I was such a big fan of what I understood him to be, all of my desires turned into loving game canon Eggman for exactly who he was and wanting him to stay the funny pure evil bastard he is. And he does! 💜

But yeah because of that, even though my old perception years ago certainly wasn't the same level as those that spread misinformation of him being way nicer, softer, and morally good than he is in the games, I know what it's like for bias to influence me in some ways. And those little things I believed then are far different from what I know now, so this isn't an example of me being biased lol

I'm very happy that I came to fully recognize, embrace, and appreciate his funny but very much pure evil self! And one of the main goals of my blog besides expressing my passion, is to help people learn more about him and understand him too because I swear, your enjoyment and appreciation of him can grow so much stronger when you do. I love when I'm told I've helped with that!

But if you really don't like that he's pure evil because it makes you uncomfortable, that's fine. But there's a difference between not wanting to see it because you don't like it and what happens in the games. And if you don't like game canon Eggman like that, I have a lot of respect for you if you admit that and just do something different in your fan stuff, without claiming it to be fact.

But game canon Eggman canonically being a funny silly but very evil and threatening bastard man personally fills me with immense joy and it's why I adore him so much. It's endless fun and entertainment! 🥰💜

#hope people don't take this the wrong way as telling people what to do. tried to make that clear at the end #and I'm trying to say that I almost understand the opposite perspective #just speaking my mind honestly as usual #dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #my post #eggman is evil

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ineadhyn · 6 months

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Writer interview

@vixstarria tagged me and I finally get to do it! Thank you <3

I am tagging @sky-kiss @scuttlingcrab and @thedomesticanthropologist

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13 and some are multi-chapter. All are BG3 except for a german Inkheart one

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

85.408 -that is a surprising amount of words for being active less than a year

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

His consort, his god - I finally wrote smut for a popular ship XD (bloodweave)

At her mercy - kinky sapphic Karlach x Durge smut

Natures most beloved treasure - Halsin x trans masc Tav smut

Direct from Hell Logistics - ongoing Raphael x Haarlep comedy/angst/smut/plot - this one has it all

A song of snow and embers and Copper Hearts share this place. one is a F/F/F/F foursome and the other my Astarion x male Tav longfic

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I appreciate every single comment and try to show that. There's nothing better than the e-mail that says "comment on your work" and it can make my whole day. Sometimes I don't know what to respond if it's just a word or a keybord smash, but rest assured I see you and I love every one of those, too.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Angsty ending hmmmm. Because some of my stuff is not completed yet I am not gonna spoil anything but Dust and ash about Astarion's backstory was naturally quite angsty

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Not. gonna. spoil XD

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not yet. Maybe I could count Copper hearts because I took Francys from my original work and planted him into Bg3

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, not yet.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. I am exploring all kinds atm with preferably queer pairings wlw or mlm or nb. I can also write mlw from the men's perspective but not the other way round :D

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Boy I wish.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No and I am not sure if I could commit to a project like that.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Hmmmmm ... Raphlep probably

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My german Inkheart fic with a genderbent lesbian Basta. Damn I was invested in creating this character, but gave up after a while because it was a lot of work and it being german and a niche topic in a small fandom was not very rewarding tbh. I know I should not care and maybe I'll come back to it when the Inkheart obsession comes over me again.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I am good at setting the scene. Atmosphere and small mundane details that make the setting feel alive. I have always liked that in reading as in writing, because it makes you feel like you are actually there when you can hear and smell and taste the scene.

Also I am okay at developing coherent plot, but that's mainly practice from writing a lot of og work before I started with fics.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I still struggle with english grammar and punctuation at times so I always have a beta reader. And I am lucky to have great ones.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I am not a fan. It confuses me. Singular phrases and such yes, but not entire dialogue. Especially if it's german in an english fic I get super confused.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

*digs through her files* So, my first works were basically fic for my best friend's story. (I was in my early teens.) But since she was the author the lines between canon and fic are blurry and the "fandom" consisted of three people of which one was the author XD

So if we don't count that the first one would be Hunger Games - It was one chapter and I never published it

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

We'll see what posesses me next I guess, though I think Bg3 will stay with me for a considerable amount of time. And ship wise ... I feel Durgetash creeping up on me.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Definitely Direct from Hell Logistics. I am having so much fun with it. It constantly makes me laugh and sheme and I also feel all the angst. Also it is ongoing and I get to explore the story alongside the readers (though I have a rough plot structure to keep me on track).

#bg3 #raphael fic #astarion fic #ao3 writer #bg3 fanfiction #my writing

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empressofthewind · 8 months

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It states that in every classic romantic relationship, one party is the reacher, the other the settler. IYO which one do you think is the reacher and settler? (Mello and Near). You need to pick one, can't say they are equal xD

ooh what an interesting question!! this is really tough to answer because i do honestly think they are equal, but i suppose i will outline exactly what i think each of them brings to the table, and then i'll try to assign them roles after i've written it all out.

since Near has trouble taking care of himself, Mello would be able to look after him (and i absolutely think he'd insist on doing this himself, even if they have more than enough money to pay a housekeeper - partly because bringing a third party into their lives is extremely dangerous, partly because he hates asking other people for help, and he likes the idea of being needed). he'd be there to keep Near company so he isn't alone all the time, and would also bring some degree of excitement to Near's life, which i think is one thing Near would really appreciate. without Mello, Near's routine would pretty much consist of working, eating, bathing and sleeping, and i tend to imagine that most cases after Kira's death would be fairly tedious in comparison. having Mello around keeps things interesting. he's one of the few people in the world who can challenge Near intellectually, and i think he's unpredictable in a way that Near would find thrilling.

Near meets Mello's emotional needs, being a calm voice of reason for him and helping to keep him somewhat sane. Mello is a very insecure person and this is the basis for all of his primary character flaws. being desired by someone would be good for his ego as is, but being desired by Near i think would be the absolute best-case scenario. Near is the reason why Mello feels so bad about himself in the first place, and of everyone in his life, Near's opinion about him matters most. having Near show interest in him and treat him like an equal would do wonders for his self-esteem. i suppose if you go by the extremely traditional breadwinner x homemaker relationship model then you could also say Near has a lot to offer in terms of wealth, although i personally think they both have a right to L's fortune, since they were both technically chosen (and i think Near would say the same).

ultimately, if i really had to pick, i would probably say Near is the settler and Mello is the reacher, because i genuinely believe that in canon, Mello couldn't possibly be as fulfilled in a relationship with anyone else. Near could, theoretically, find someone who can take care of him, keep him company, and match his intelligence on some level, even if it wouldn't quite be the same. Mello, on the other hand, has essentially based his entire life and personality around Near, and thus i don't think there's a way for him to ever fully resolve his insecurities without a relationship with Near. he could potentially benefit from a friendship or a working relationship, but i think a romantic relationship best suits his needs because of the element of being desired, and the knowledge that Near wants him around constantly.

i do definitely believe that Mello thinks he's the reacher, and that has a huge influence on his behaviour in their relationship. i think he'd struggle a lot with feeling unworthy of Near, and would try to go above and beyond for him to prove himself - though i don't imagine he'd admit it if Near were to point it out. but realistically i think there's a good balance in the relationship, and they would both get something out of it that they couldn't get from anyone else.

thank you for the ask! :-)

#meronia #asks #long post #analyses

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the-bar-sinister · 5 months

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I know we're not in the same fandoms, so I'm really curious: what themes and such do your long fics usually consist of? I tend to write very dark long fics.

Oh gosh... I think every longfic we've ever written has been some flavor of plot heavy, high stakes action/thriller with a complicated romance happening in the foreground. XD

Our big fics back when we were teenagers were:

an OC x canon X-Men fic about two runaway homeless teenagers fighting human-supremacist fascists who dug up the main character's best friend and turned her into a mutant killing robot.

an OC x canon the Incredibles fic which was a dark exploration of what it would be like if your villain f/o really came to make you his lover. Involved a lot of torture and being forced to confront your lack of morals and your lover's abusive tendencies.

A ZADR Zim fic where Zim and Dib got together while fighting an alien menace from outside time and space that wanted to drain all the energy from the main characters universe in order to combat and delay entropy and heat death in their own universe.

an extremely whumpy Matrix series about an OC who was a human working for the Agents.

Our more recent longfics have been:

The Primrose Path to Hell: a dark dubcon romance Resident Evil AU about Rebecca being seduced by Wesker against the backdrop of the early stages of the Umbrella Corporation's fuckery.

The Monster's Name Was Adam: Another resident evil fic-- this one is an enemies to lovers fic about a bitter old man who has lost everything finally succumbing to the desire to bring back to life the evil man he killed, and grappling with what it means that he cares about him.

and most recently

In Justice We Trust: which is a spy thriller mystery about a broken and abused human weapon who finally escapes his captors, and manages to form an emotional relationship with the man whose life he completely destroyed. And about a prosecutor who spends seven years in jail under a false charge only to fall in love with the man who committed the crime. It's also about recovering from child abuse, and about being plural.

So... yeah the themes of our writing are pretty heavy XD

#ask answers #friend mail #our writing #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic

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jennathearcher · 4 months

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I was tagged by the always wonderful @gellavonhamster to post four characters that make me go "my man, my man, my man!!"

(I've done an images-only version of this post previously, but I'm thrilled to elaborate on WHY I adore said characters here :P)

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)

(fanart credit here)

How do I begin to explain Jonathan Archivist? He's flawless :P In all seriousness, Jon is legit one of the best, most complex characters I've ever seen in media, and perhaps one of the first characters to ever make me go "THAT ONE. MINE." XD

The best part is when I first started listening to the podcast, and didn't really know WHERE it was going to go or how big the story was going to become, I had s1 Jon who is kind of an asshole and I was SO frustrated by his skepticism CONSTANTLY XD then the end of s1 rolls around, s2 illustrates a character arc that encapsulates the immediate aftermath of a severe trauma SO well, and by the end of s2, I had my ".....oh. Oh no" moment :P

Jon spends pretty much the rest of the series just GOING THROUGH IT in one way or another, and pretty consistently going "This is fine" about all of it even though he is Very Not Fine :P I want to just wrap this man in a big cozy blanket and TAKE CARE OF HIM. Because Jon goes through so much of his whole storyline.....essentially ALONE and it DRIVES ME BONKERS XD There's a point in this series where Jon has pretty much lost every friend he's ever had and it is HEARTBREAKING.

But also, his transformation throughout the series :P I don't want to go into TOO much detail here for spoiler reasons, but god. Jon has moments especially in the latter half of the series where he is SCARY. HE IS POWERFUL. AND HE IS GODDAMN SEXY :P (my bestie likes to listen to s5 episodes with me and laugh maniacally over me Losing My Shit from sheer simp-itude XD)

Also, bonus points for being a Canon Asexual 8D like me!! <3

Johnny Silverhand (Cyberpunk 2077)

Oh, Johnny, Johnny <3 I pretty much went into this game knowing he was gonna steal my heart, but even then, I was utterly unprepared for just how attached I would become :3

A lot of that is due to playing as a POV character that you essentially craft yourself from the ground up -- prime real estate for a self insert lover like myself XD And despite there being a myriad of colorful characters in the world of Cyberpunk, four of which you can romance, everyone can pretty much agree that Johnny is by far the most important character to the PC, who has the placeholder moniker of V.

The basics of the game's story are that your character, V, is a mercenary in the postapocalyptic world of 2077, and they are betrayed and nearly killed by one of their clients -- their life only being saved due to the presence of a chip they installed in their head during a job, without realizing said chip contained, essentially, the soul of Johnny Silverhand; a rock star turned terrorist who died in 2023.

The main plot of the game focuses on V's attempts to stabilize Johnny's presence in their brain, before the chip eventually overwrites their consciousness and kills them. A lot of that depends on the player's interactions with Johnny throughout the game, but as you can imagine, literally sharing a brain and body with someone can be quite the bonding experience :P

Especially because Johnny is a MESS. He's an alcoholic and drug addict who hides his supreme self-loathing behind a seemingly massive ego -- who talks a big game about his hatred of capitalism but in reality blew up the biggest conglomerate in the city because his girlfriend died (and it was his fault) and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings.

The moments in the game when Johnny actually opens up to V are CAPTIVATING, certainly in part due to a masterful performance from Keanu Reeves :P This is one of those games that just grabs you with its immersion, and got me genuinely emotional several times during my first playthrough. (One day, I'll get the chance to play it again :P one day XD)

Plus there's also the aspect of building my own personal canon for my V and her relationship with Johnny, and all that adds up to holding a very special place in my heart :3

Gale Dekarios (Baldur's Gate 3)

I. LOVE. THIS. STUPID. WIZARD. SO. DAMN. MUCH.

Of course I jumped onto the BG3 train for Astarion and ended up falling head-over for the character I most commonly heard referred to as annoying :P

A dorky wizard you say? Who's highly autistic coded? Loves books and his cat? Strongly implied to be an abuse survivor at the hands of an older female partner? AND HE'S SUICIDAL??? I didn't stand a fucking chance :P

I just love listening to him talk so much XD and thank god because he never shuts up :P Nothing like a guy who thinks he's the smartest man in the room who is, IN FACT, very very dumb <3

And lest we forget if you keep him around until the third act of the game, he decides his new coping mechanism is SEEKING GODLY POWER like babe please calm down XD

I've done pretty much all of his possible endings so far outside of doing his origin run (aka playing through the whole game as him), and I just. LOVE HIM SO MUCH <3 I'm excited to romance him again, especially since I missed out on stuff the first time XD Every time I start a new playthrough I end up half-romancing him anyway because I CAN'T HELP MYSELF :P ultimately breaking my own heart when I have to commit to the character I originally set out to romance in the first place XD and he's always the first companion I get to the Exceptional approval level :3

that's my emotional support wizard :P and I WILL make him useful by juicing him up with all the good spells, thank you VERY MUCH XD

Black Leg Sanji (One Piece)

You all knew this was coming :P

Hey, you ever casually look at a fun pirate manga here and there as a teenager without ever really getting into it, but you know EXACTLY which character would be your fave and just kinda tuck that away in the back of your mind?

And then some odd years later, that manga gets adapted into an extremely successful and astonishingly well made live action Netflix series that is much more accessible to you than the source material?

And THEN that gets you engaging with more and more of the source material's fan content until you still haven't even watched the anime proper yet and somehow THIS has happened to you??

Anyway moral of the story is that your first instinct as to what character is going to be your favorite it always right no matter what :P OH MY GOD WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME

I just. Love him SO MUCH.

He cooks. He fights by KICKING PEOPLE REALLY HARD. Like SO hard. Hard enough that he can SHATTER CONCRETE WALLS??? WITH HIS HANDS IN HIS POCKETS LIKE HE'S ORANGE CASSIDY.

He smokes CONSTANTLY. He's ALWAYS associated with fire. He LIGHTS HIMSELF ON FIRE FOR COMBAT PURPOSES. And yet he has the most water elemental oriented soul I've EVER SEEN. (and CHRIST HOW IS HE SO FUCKING SHREDDED--)

He's 80% Leg. His EYEBROWS do the fucking THING. He's FRENCH. The extent of his post-timeskip transformation is PARTING HIS HAIR DIFFERENTLY. His name is a PUN. He is AN IDIOT and also SO SMART. He has to have 17 karmic punishments from the narrative before we ever get to his tragic backstory. His adoptive dad ate his own foot.

He's a Hopeless Romantic. He COMPLETELY FORGETS HOW TO ACT every time he so much as Sees A Woman at thirty paces. He gets so many comedic anime nosebleeds that it becomes A PLOT POINT. He has a CODE OF CHIVALRY that actually makes sense kind of (especially once you know his tragic backstory).

Lest we forget to mention that he's part of a FOUND FAMILY!!!! He has SO much love to give and his love language is all of them :P A different one for each person on the crew, as far as I can tell. With Zoro it's "the only person who's allowed to kill you is me, dammit" XD

ALSO!!!!! COME TO FIND OUT HE'S AN ACTUAL FUCKING PRINCE THAT'S JUST CASUALLY THROWN OUT THERE I JUST FLDKJAFLKDAFJLDSAF

I just. Husband Material. HUSBAND. I wanna lock that shit down SO BAD. I'm AS OBSESSED WITH HIM as he is with EVERYONE ELSE and by god I am making it the problem of all of my followers :P

tagging (with no pressure) @pink-cenobite @talesfromthecrypts @piratespencil @thebarefootking @damngoodbabysiitter @lady-phasma and anyone else who wants to do the thing!! <3

#save tag #long post

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calamari-minecraft-corner · 3 months

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Hey I'm sorry if you already got an ask like this from me, my tumblr was glitching the fuck out so idk if it sent or not

But I really want to know more about that god version of Niki you mentioned, Nemesis if you have thoughts to share

Also, does every canon smp menber have a "god version"/god inspired by them?

Yes I got your ask about it! :3 and oh god I’m so excited and terrified that you want to know more bc it was an old concept back then (like 2021-2022ish I believe)? But the main concept was that there was a main pantheon that contained of XD who was the most powerful, followed by one based off of Ghostbur, one based off of Techno (The Blood God), one based off of Schlatt, one based off of Philza, and one based off of Fundy!

And then there were the minor gods consisted of gods based off of Sapnap (aka Niko), George, Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, Karl (Karl is a very complicated one), Quackity, Sam, Punz, Niki, Eret, Puffy, Hannah, Skeppy, Bad, and Revivebur. (Mumza is also there but she’s- she’s the same boat as XD uwu)

They all had different things of what they were under but I honestly forgot since.. 2021-2022 was really rough and I was in a bad situation during that time and I forgot to write them down.

But with Niki she’s very simple- Nemesis is the goddess of revenge! She helps people by making sure anyone’s revenge goes in their favor no matter what, whether it be short term or long term! She holds a lot of grudges especially towards XD and the Revivebur god (named Reverent). She also makes sure any mortal at some point who has slighted her knows her wrath- but in a way where like someone takes revenge on them. Shes usually very sweet and caring, but she gets intense sometimes with what she does. She also summons delicious pastries and baked goods to people, and people are expected to bake something for her as An offering since revenge is sweet after all!

And now for context of her in the dnd con au:

Nemesis isn’t a god in this au, like how Niko isn’t. She is a Leviathan basically that takes form of a giant siren monster. She lives in the ocean and takes care of her kin which are mermaids and other sirens. She is very territorial and was there ever since the entire world was created. She used to be open and caring but over time she became cold and filled with a grudge against the people in the continent. Many people tried to and failed to convince her, and the only way to make sure you get past her area is that you have to sacrifice people into the ocean so her kin can eat.

She actually has a soft spot for dnd!puffy- since Puffy always visits her and she knows she wouldn’t hurt her like others had. But it doesn’t stop her from doing what she needs to do. But the party try and talk to her to help with what she’s doing at some point and that’s fun!

#I hope this answers waaaa #Cala answers #dnd con au #dsmp god pantheon #<- new tag time oh boy

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indelibleevidence · 1 year

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Broken Wings, chapter 1 (Reller, M-rated)

Author's Note: Also on FanFiction.Net and AO3! Updating on Saturdays, because I made sure to actually finish the fic before I started posting it, to ensure I didn't consign it to WIP hell like my other WIPs. XD

Wow, this is going to be a lot of explaining, but here we go! First off, if you haven't read Strikethrough, Crossroads, and the Damaged Goods summaries for the rest of the fics that I haven't written in between Crossroads and this one, go do that first. There's also a one-shot called Stalling that's set a month or two before this fic, but it's not necessary reading to get what's going on here.

This fic contains suicidal ideation, suicidal distress, and a depiction of Remi at rock bottom. If you're in a bad place, it might be better if you don't read this right now. (And I hope you feel less terrible soon.)

Remi is a lot different from the Remi in Crossroads. She's got pretty much all of her memories from her Jane years back now, and is a little bit softer and less sweary, until she's provoked, and then she reverts to 'fuck you' mode. Much like Jane's 4x15/4x16 self in canon, she's overwhelmed by the weight of her past mistakes, as Remi and as Jane. She's definitely not on the 'yay, law enforcement' train, and is still mostly ACAB in nature, but she knows that at least Kurt and his team are well-intentioned, and their eyes are open to the corruption within the system (mainly because of the first set of tattoos). By this point in my timeline, she also has accepted the fact that she's in love with Kurt, but she'd die before she'd ever admit it to him.

Jane is referred to as a third person throughout this fic, because neither Remi nor Kurt are at the 'Jane and Remi are just two time periods sans memories for one person' stage of acceptance. Also because it's easier for me, as a writer, to differentiate between those different time periods and mindsets by just using the names she was going by at the time. I do think that in another year down the Damaged Goods timeline, both Remi and Kurt will stop referring to Jane as a separate entity, but Remi kind of needs it right now, and though Kurt is further down the line as seeing Jane as a part of Remi, he's still getting there too. So things might seem a little bit disassociative identity disordery, and I apologise to anyone who might stumble upon this who actually lives with DID and hates what I did with this. But Remi is compartmentalising a LOT, though interestingly enough, now she's seeing Jane as the better person, whereas before, she loathed Jane with the fire of a thousand suns. The difference a few memories can make...

This fic is complete, so I'll post updates on Saturdays, I guess. This is my first time actually finishing a multi-chaptered fic before starting to post, but I really didn't want to start posting another WIP that was going to hang around in limbo (I'm sorry, Remember to Forgive and Taken for Granted fans! I will get there, I hope!).

Lastly, I really have to thank nachosandcheeze for her enthusiasm for this AU, and her encouragement for me to keep writing for it. She's not the only one who's been lovely about it (and thank you to everyone who cares about my weird little enemies to lovers universe where Jane never quite made it back to her brain - really, you guys are fantastic!), but she's been pretty consistently poking me with metaphorical sticks, and making Remi gifsets, and squeeing over Reller, etc. - to the point where I showed her the half-scene I had written from a fic several fics away from where I'd left off with Crossroads, just to get it out of my brain. And she loved it so much that I wrote a bit more, and a bit more, until over 16k later, I ended up with this. So thank you again, nachos. You're proof that nagging a fic author for more story does actually work, sometimes! :D

Absently tracing the carving on the stone with her finger, Remi glanced over to the small vial of clear liquid on her nightstand. It sat on top of a small, leatherbound booklet—El Libro de la Eternidad—which she’d smuggled out of Peru, along with the stone brick from Machu Picchu. Maybe she should feel guilty that she’d stolen a couple of pieces of Peruvian history from its citizens, even if one of them was a loose brick, but after all the things she’d done in her short fuck-up of a life, her conscience was way past that. And the brick contained a carved message for her: RB 4 RB, Roman Briggs for Remi Briggs, along with binary code that pointed to Roman’s data caches, and a message that had made tears sting her eyes.

Hey, sis.

I got you something. I never solved this one.

I hope you can. I did my best.

May you outlive this… for both of us.

Your brother, always,

Roman

Even during his bitter feud with Jane—Remi still flinched to think of him ZIPped and claustrophobic in his FBI cell, even though she now remembered Jane’s reasons, and her anguish at her brother’s state—Roman had still been looking for a cure for her. He’d had his own, the one she’d stolen from Dr. Roga and used to cure herself—after all, Roman had died before he’d had the chance to benefit from it. But still, he’d hunted down more Stanton cells, which meant that now, Remi had a cure for ZIP poisoning all lined up.

She had everything she needed. If Roman’s cache intel was right, New York billionaire hypochondriac Ken Lee would trade El Libro de la Eternidad for the Stanton cells. Dr. Roga could synthesise a new cure, if Kurt approached her. And Remi would need that cure, because the ZIP on the nightstand would be going into her body, as soon as she laid the plan out for Kurt.

There was just one more thing left to do.

Setting aside Roman’s carving, she accessed the video recording setting on her phone, and held it up so that her face was visible. She’d made a video for her future self once before, to further Phase One of her grand plan by introducing Jane to Oscar, and verifying his trustworthiness.

And you know how that turned out, her internal critic whispered.

Swallowing hard, Remi made herself focus on the task at hand, ignoring the guilt gnawing on the synapses at the back of her mind. How was she going to start this thing? Saying hello seemed redundant.

“I know you’re suffering right now, and I’m sorry for that. You don’t remember your old life, and that’s intentional. Please, trust me when I say you shouldn’t go hunting for the finer details. I’m sparing you a lifetime of pain and futility by taking the ZIP, even though you might not be able to appreciate that.”

She sounded whiny as hell, but how else could she put it? She had to make future Jane understand that this was for the best.

“The only options, as I see them, are suicide or ZIP. I’ve got enough here that I should be able to wipe out any trace of my old memories. You might get a few flashes, but I hope you don’t. You don’t need to go through this again.”

If you weren’t such a coward, you’d just put a shotgun barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger. Maybe Jane would think she was cowardly. But she wasn’t afraid to die. She just didn’t want Kurt to have to suffer, knowing his wife was dead along with Remi.

“I’m doing this, instead of killing myself, because you have good people around you, people I’ve already hurt enough, and don’t want to hurt any more by making them lose you. You have loyal friends. A husband who loves you very much. Things will be hard for you at first, but you’ll build a life again, like you did before. And this time, you’ll know who did this to you, and why, and you won’t have me telling you to disregard your instincts and undermine the people you care about. I was misled, and betrayed, but I made bad choices, too. I was too stubborn to see it for so long, but the first time we were ZIPped, Jane found happiness, and a new purpose, and even though I still don’t think law enforcement is the shining star of morality… If you’re working with Kurt and his team, you’ll be working towards good things. Hold onto that.”

She took a breath, picking up the ancient Peruvian brick again.

“The one thing I want to tell you about is my—our—brother, Roman. Or Ian. That was his birth name, just like yours was Alice. Ian Kruger. Later, Roman Briggs. He wasn’t perfect, as I’m sure Kurt will tell you. But he was a follower his whole life, not a leader. He followed me, and our adopted mother, because he loved us, and didn’t want to be rejected. Jane hurt him too much, and he turned on her, and on Kurt, but deep down, he was a good man. He just wanted a loving family, to belong somewhere.”

She held the brick up in the camera’s sight. “I want you to keep this. Take care of it. This points to his last message from him to me, on his data caches. To Remi, I mean. Not the old version of Jane.” How did things get so confusing? “I have the actual message saved on my phone, so you should be able to see the message itself there. As for the brick, I took it from Peru, along with something to bargain with for a cure for your ZIP poisoning. Roman was looking for a cure for me, even while he knew I—the old Jane—was working to bring him down. He just wanted his sister back, I guess.”

If she kept this up for much longer, she was going to get too damn emotional, and there was no way she was willing to break down and cry on video. She had to cut this short. “Roman and I went through hell together, and that’s one of the things I don’t want you to remember anything about, so I won’t go into it. But we survived our childhood by relying on each other, and then our teenage years were the same, in a different way. We used to pass a South African rand coin our parents gave us back and forth, giving it to each other as a gift. It wasn’t worth much back then—and it’d buy even less now—but its symbolic value for us was priceless. For Roman, it was a comfort object. Jane buried him with it, so I don’t have it now, but I wanted you to know about it.”

She dug her fingernails into her palm, a technique she’d first used at the orphanage to keep outwardly calm, while a torrent of emotions churned within her. The pain centred her, making the grief easier to bear.

“Things went so wrong, but I never stopped loving Roman, even as Jane. And he never stopped loving me.”

She sighed, knowing she should say more, should give Jane more closure, but knowing she’d never be able to get through it on camera. Maybe she’d write Jane a letter, before Kurt ZIPped her.

“I hope you can build a life again, and find happiness. You sure as hell couldn’t do worse than I did. Please, look forward, not back. There’s nothing here but pain. Good luck.”

She threw down the phone and buried her face in her hands, breathing deeply, striving for the numbness that could get her through the final days of this life. Soon she’d fly to New York, and wipe the slate clean.

The end of my memories can’t come soon enough. I can’t do this anymore.

Three days later…

Kurt stared from the vial and hypodermic needle to his wife, a rapidly growing pit in his stomach. What…is happening here? What the hell, Remi?

“It’s okay,” she said, shrugging as though this was a foregone conclusion, a logical end to everything they’d battled through on their way to this moment. “I’ve made my peace with it. There’s nothing left here for me now. This is Jane’s world, and I don’t belong in it. At least…at least this way, you can get her back. Or as close to it as it’s possible to get.”

“It’s okay?” he finally managed to say, his throat choked with an intense mass of emotions that he couldn’t even begin to analyse right now. “Your identity is what makes you you, Remi. You’ve fought to defend it so damn hard, it nearly drove us apart for good. You’ve spent over a year getting so many of your memories back, and now you want a clean slate again? I know you remember how hard it was for you after Times Square, and after Cape Town.”

She wrapped her arms around herself, still not meeting his eyes. “The first time, you didn’t know who Jane was. Nobody knew. This time, everyone will. And she’ll have you, and your friends. It’s…easier that way. Even though I hated you when I found out what had happened to Sandstorm, at least I had…” She shook her head. “Anyway—Jane will adjust quickly. You can get the woman you married back, as she was.”

The words shook him, in so many different ways. He rubbed a hand over his face, floundering to make sense of everything.

To get his Jane back…it was everything he’d dreamed of for so long. During those ten months that Remi had gone off the radar, he’d been desperate to find a way to bring Jane back to the forefront of her mind. Aside from Bethany and work, it had been all he’d thought about, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a spark of hope for that outcome now.

But it was all wrong. It was a fairytale. Jane had been a product of the situation she’d been in, from the bag in Times Square to not knowing who she was, to thinking she was Taylor Shaw and then discovering she wasn’t, to being tortured by the CIA—and then discovering she used to be Remi Briggs, daughter of the leader of a terrorist organisation. She’d become who she was because of the way things had been back then, the way her new life had unfolded, and there was no way to know how much of that would be replicated in a newly ZIPped Remi.

Remi. God… I… He swallowed hard, something akin to grief seeping into his bones.

“What about you? This is like…like mental suicide for a huge part of you. You really want to kill yourself that badly? Why not shoot yourself in the head? Jump off a building? Overdose on pills?” His voice was harsher than he meant it to come out—demanding, angry.

Terrified. He was goddamn terrified.

Remi flinched at his tone, finally looking into his eyes. “Because you don’t want to live without her. And if I did one of those things, you’d have to face that she’d never come back.”

He rose from the couch abruptly, the twister of conflicted emotions within him too much to handle if he stayed still. Tears filled his eyes as he stalked over to the kitchen, and he rested his palms on the worktop, his back to Remi, as he tried to breathe.

“So you really want to die?” he managed to ask.

“There’s nothing left for me. My mother, my brother, my friends, my cause, my convictions… Everything is gone, Weller. There’s no point in trying to rebuild. I’ve spent the past year not knowing what to do with myself, fucking things up…”

He turned on her, snarling, “There’s nothing left for you? Then what the hell am I? Why do you keep coming back? After everything that’s happened, you don’t care enough to stick around?”

She got to her feet, crossed the room, her eyes sad. “The only thing I care about in this life is you, and I hurt you constantly, just by not being Jane. This way, it kills two birds with one stone. My empty life goes away, and you get Jane back. You get to be happy, and I get to…forget.”

A tear slid down his cheek, and he dashed it away impatiently. “Remi…”

She reached up to brush another tear from the corner of his eye, her fingers gentle. “I don’t want either of us to hurt anymore. We’ve suffered enough.”

Staring down at her, he finally put names to the emotions within him. Fear and pain had been easy to identify on their own, but they were joined by a surge of something else, so strong and fierce and breathtakingly real that he could hardly bear it.

Remi… Fuck, I can’t lose you. I need you.

I love you.

Despite everything she’d done to him, all the mental torment she’d put him through, the bitter arguments they’d had, the misunderstandings and deceit that had shredded their trust in each other…he’d fallen for the whole of her, just as hard as he had for the Jane part of her. Remi was Jane, intensified. She’d called herself damaged goods, and he couldn’t disagree, but so was he. Remi understood him in a way Jane never could have on her own.

And he was suddenly, powerfully certain that she loved him just as much.

Unable to control himself, he pulled her into his arms, giving her a crushing kiss that seemed to shock the breath from her, even as she returned it just as ardently. Part of him wanted to reject this whole conversation, carry her to bed, fuck her until they were both too exhausted to do anything but fall asleep in each other’s arms.

But this was too serious to hide from, even temporarily. He had to make his position clear.

Wrenching away from her, he stalked over to the table, picked up the small bottle of ZIP and brought it to the kitchen sink. Unscrewing the lid, he poured the contents down the drain, then dropped the bottle and turned to Remi, who was staring at him as though he’d gone mad.

“What the hell?” she demanded.

“Listen to me,” he told her, his eyes locked on hers. “I will never use that stuff on you. Ever. It doesn’t matter to me that there’s a cure for ZIP poisoning all lined up. There’s no going back for us. I can’t just inject you and turn you back into the Jane you used to be. It wouldn’t work like that.”

She sighed, looking down at the splashes of ZIP remaining in the sink. “Better the devil you know than the angel you don’t?”

He cupped her face in both hands, making sure she couldn’t look away from his face. “You’re my devil, and my angel, and everything in between. Remi, the thought of losing you scares the hell out of me. You’re my wife, and you may not be the way you were when we got married, but you’re still the woman I fell in love with, deep down.”

She was frowning, shaking her head, and he rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes as she drew in a shaky breath.

“I love you, just as much as I did when you were Jane. You didn’t make it easy to get to know you, but every time you let me in a little more, I fell for you even further. I need you to stay you.”

“What?” She breathed the word, and he opened his eyes to find her visibly trembling. Her expression was a study in contradictions. Fear. Hope. Anger. Longing.

Kurt smiled sadly. “It’s too late. I already know you love me, too.”

She tore herself out of his arms, stepped out of his reach. “Stop it. This has gone far enough, Weller.”

“No. It hasn’t gone anywhere near far enough. You’re so scared of making yourself vulnerable, of being hurt again, that you’re hurting yourself so that I’ll never have that power over you.” He took a step closer, and she backed into the living room immediately.

He’d once mentally compared her to a trapped animal, defensively clawing and snarling out of fear. He saw that same distress in her now, and ached to hold her, even though it would only make the situation worse.

“I thought we were over this,” she said, her voice brittle. “I’m not Jane.”

“No, you’re not Jane. You’re Remi. I see you, the whole of you. I know exactly who you are, and I love you.”

She eyed the apartment door, her fists bunched at her sides and her jaw set.

“Don’t run from this. Please.” He took another slow, careful step, and though she backed up again, her eyes were on him once more.

“You never took off your wedding ring, even when you were telling me you hated me. You’ve opened up to me more than once. You’ve trusted me to keep you safe, and you’ve forgiven me for mistakes I’ve made, and I’ve done the same for you.”

She pulled at the ring on her finger, trying to remove it. “You can believe what you want to believe, but it’s not true. It was just about sex and anger, and then we became friends with benefits. That’s it.”

He caught hold of her left hand and held it between his, before she could take off the wedding band. “You didn’t even want to admit you wanted me, back when we first realised we still needed each other. Even when you were halfway to coming. Is it gonna be the same now?”

She snorted, but didn’t try to yank her hand free from his. “What, you think you’re gonna fuck a confession of love out of me? It’s not the same thing, Weller.”

“Is that what it’s gonna take?” He couldn’t pretend he was surprised. They’d resolved so many of their other issues through arguing their way into sex. Why would this be any different?

Her jaw trembled before she firmed it, glaring at him. “No, because it won’t work. It’s not true.”

With anyone else, he’d take that as their final answer. A rejection that he’d have to accept and move on from. But with Remi, things had never been straightforward and simple.

She tested him at every turn, refusing to take anything he said at face value, and this thing with the ZIP was likely a part of it. He wanted to believe that was all it was—a manipulation, a shock tactic designed to scare him into laying all his cards on the table—but his gut told him otherwise.

She would never have risked him saying yes to her offer to ‘become Jane again’ if she hadn’t been prepared to accept the consequences. She was too proud to back down from something she’d said she’d do. And that meant that she really was at a desperate end point, unable to find a way to move forward from the ruins they’d left of her pre-ZIP life.

Kurt needed her to see that he could help her find the path, if she’d only trust herself to walk it. But first, she had to know he wasn’t going anywhere, that he wasn’t just settling for a doppelgänger until he decided to stop clinging to Jane’s memory.

And they both had to be clear where they stood with each other.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.”

Remi stared at him, for a moment seeming completely taken aback. Then her protective bravado and anger kicked in. “You say ‘jump’, I say ‘how high’? No!”

Even as he understood her reasons for refusing—knew she was just trying to protect herself—her words still stung.

“I love you, Remi.” He shrugged, standing straighter as he laid out his challenge. “If you don’t feel the same way, I need to know. So come on—break my heart.”

God, this is going to hurt.

He believed that she loved him. But whether she’d ever admit it to herself, let alone to him, was another story entirely.

#broken wings #damaged goods #reller #blindspot #blindspot fanfic #canon divergence #really hope this posts coherently #the post editor is weird today

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chartreuseian · 7 months

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🛼🍄🔪🏜️🧩 please and thank you! XD

No, thank you 😁

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

Hehehe... 🫦🧛🗃️🍷🤦

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I think I've shared this before and it's not strictly shippy, but it the hill I will die on so I think I can share it again... I believe that Nikola didn't become arrogant and annoying and full of himself until AFTER the blood because until then, he was fighting against all the nasty voices that told him he wasn't good enough to be involved in their group and it's the reason that, even when he can be a total meglomaniac and full on evil, Helen still cares for him. Post-blood is the first time he ever felt like an equal to any of them (if not greater than some) so he became insufferable about it.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I... Well, I did just buy a copy of the kama sutra for a chapter of the train fic that I'm trying to write. I feel like that counts?

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Oh, any comment. Even just keyboard smashes or dumb emojis. Honestly, we all know how rare actual comments are these day so any time someone interacts with my writing I get unreasonably excited. Though I do particularly love loving complaints about how dumb the dumb idiot bbys are because I always feel the same way😅

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

It needs to be readable (like, consistent tense, complete sentences, accurate punctuation - functionally readable) or I lose interest really quickly. But in terms of content, I draw a pretty hard line at incest. It's just not for me!

#thank you :)#asks #writing #fanfic

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moonspirit · 1 year

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Oh, another writer ask game, I'm in! I'm glad you rb it :3 💫🌈🦋🌿🍉🎀(yep, again, because your writing is amazin!)🎈💝🤍💥🎙️💋💌

OMG WAIT, I SCHEDULED THIS SOMETIME LAST WEEK TO POST LATER BUT THEN THERE WAS THAT OTHER ASK GAME AND I FORGOT TO DELETE THIS ONE WEOFIHWEIFUHWEIJ-

GODDAMNIT. aNYWAYS. Now I can't delete it #_#

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? Any and all comments, really! I'm a crumb person and easy to please, you can send me a heart and I will have enough motivation to write the next chapter xD However I do especially like it when people find the symbolism or thematic relevances that I incorporate :3 Makes me feel like "yeah, I did good this time. good job me."

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with? Recently I've posted everything I've written, so... there's nothing nobody won't know. However I did struggle with that whole bonfire dancing scene in TFLM.

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic? Since I'm currently only writing AruAni, I feel like making Armin smart is a really fucking hard job xD For his character development, I need him to use his stellar brains, but that means I gotta make him use his stellar brains... and... T^T yeah, I worry a lot that readers will find what ultimately happens sounds silly/not clever enough.

🌿how does creating make you feel? VERY satisfied! Incredibly so! Makes me happy to write and post and share what I've created with people :3

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life? My fics are all a representation of things I want in my life, both the big and small. For example, in Chap 3 of VBEOW, Armin and Annie share hot chocolate in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning; that kind of comfortable intimacy and quiet shared space is something I also crave. Another example is in the very first part of the series where Annie gets Armin to cry and grieve - it's a reflection of the fact that I too want to care for someone in that kind of way. xD This is prolly TMI xD Sorry xD

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing Hmmm. Okay Moon, so, I'm very glad you started this series, tho it wasn't planned, it has made you very happy and you're managing to fill canon timeskips with something that is hopefully, making readers happy too.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change? I'm really not sure xD I think it's mostly consistent thus far (?)

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? I believe Falling into Neptune was received better than I expected. I hadn't written anything that intense in a very long time, so I was pleasantly surprised when it got a hotter reaction than I was expecting. It made me realize I can create tension without making the characters take off their clothes -- a fact I am a bit proud of T^T Sorry.

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"? Hmmm. So Time Falls like Moonlight is a mammoth of a story to get through, but I put a whole lot of thematic depiction in this (it literally has 10+ scenes) and maybe it is the fact that it's very long and also that it's got a sequel already going on, so it feels like people have glossed over it. But oh well xD I'm happy with the reactions I have received :3

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it. The Lamplighter, Tokyo Ghoul. A fic about the relationship between Amon and his foster father Donato, with a slightly supernatural/fantasy twist, but still remains true to canon. It has very little kudos or interaction but I expected that, because people usually come to read romantic pairing fics and this is strictly a father-son fic. I still really like it though, it's probably badly written for the me of today's POV, but it's got a special place in my heart xD

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of? O_O Oh.. uh...that's a thing? xD I totally didn't know! But what works for a pod-fic tho? Dialogue heavy fics? Action/emotional monologue heavy fics? Maybe everything works? In which case... anything really T_T I'd be over the moon (pun intended)

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer? If they want to reply back, sure! Most of them do these days, tho there are fics I've left comments on recently which were written one or two years ago, and the authors are prolly busy with their lives. But I'm always happy to read their replies, no matter when that is :3!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited! Oh, okay! Chapter 5 of VBEOW spoilers:

When done, she glances at Pieck who's still sitting on her stool, motionless and staring off into space, wet hair sticking to her back and shoulders, and a handful of shampoo resting on her knee, facing palm up. "Pieck?" "Hm?" "Are you not feeling… uh, want to go back?" "No," Pieck hums softly. She raises her cupped palm up. "Need to shampoo my hair but I'm feeling a little too tired." Annie lets her eyes roam over her deflated frame. Pieck, always buoyant and carefree, now limp and lifeless, and she’s never seen her like this before.

Thanks for the ask, tho this was completely an accident post #_#

#ask game #annawayne

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siriuslystarbucks · 2 years

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(Different anon) I like your idea of Remus becoming distant from his friends after school because it’s very consistent with his character, I think. But i don’t think we can say the same for Peter, imo. We know he visits the Potters when they are in hiding and it seems to be a regular occurance, not something surprising or out of the ordinary, Lily talks very fondly of him, and why would they have made an old school friend their SK? I think Peter was very much part of James’s life after Hogwarts. Also, Peter needed to stay close to them as a spy, it was in his best interest to try and convince James that he was there for him. (I’m not crying 😭)

I never know quite what to think of Peter in canon. I don't think he ever planned on being a spy, I think it was something he got threatened with and then had to stick to so he could ensure his own safety. That being said, it definitely did him well to remain so close to James 😭

It's also just hard to figure out the exact timeline. James is what, 21 when he dies? That meant he'd been out of Hogwarts for only 3 years. Harry was a little over a year old when James and Lily died, and they'd been in hiding for most of Harry's life iirc? So he was 20 when Harry was born, 19 when he married Lily, 18 when he graduated Hogwarts. We don't know what Peter did as a job after Hogwarts-- or if he even had one; I can't remember if him caring for his sick mother is fanon or canon.

Compare those 3 years of James's life moving at a rocket pace without us really knowing what Peter was up to, to Sirius being with him every step of the way, and I think you can see why I relegate Peter to being more of a high school friend than a current one XD

That being said, I don't remember that Lily mentioned Peter, so if she did, then it would make him a current friend, if not the most trusted one (Sirius's role, obvs)

I think with what little we do know about everything from that time though, that we could reasonably say that Peter was still friends with James throughout the entire war. It's not my favorite way to interpret that time in canon, but that doesn't make it wrong lol

#marauders #james potter #peter pettigrew #i feel like i talked in circles but hopefully someone got something out of this

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mysticmira · 2 years

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So this is a whole ramble, mostly centered around ArcanaTwilight, but i’m comparing it to obey me- and there’s a twisted wonderland tangent in there too at the end- so if you don’t like listening to someone’s potentially incoherent rambling skfnsk just ignore me completely ✨;

I haven’t been able to draw for the life of me or sleep 🤔 so instead i will talk about the current subject on my mind that i’ve been trying to put into words for a bit (like two days?), aside from world building on my own worlds xD

✨ArcanaTwilight✨ i already vaguely know spoilers for the game, because that’s just how i do, but i just started 5f as of now.

Okay okay, so i wanna acknowledge that yes, it mechanically is just obey me, but listen have you ever listened to a song and went, this is amazing i want more but then struggle to find a similar song? That was me with obey me, so lemme tell you about how so far, twilight avoids the stuff that bothers me in obey me. I will now compare and vaguely rant<3

1. Color and art consistency; have you looked at the skin, hair, and eye tones for the characters in obey me? literally any of them, WHAT’S THEIR COLOR SCHEME OFFICIALLY THO?? So far twilight seems to be mostly consistent. We love the bare minimum effort of making sure characters look like themselves.

2. The little like bits of story, like the books you click between fights, are noticeably longer in twilight and they actually feel like things are happening, where obey me feels like filler as a game?

3. There’s descriptive text between the speaking text to give context to what is happening, instead of obey me’s; “[screen shakes], [a third character explains what happens]” which personally bothers me, especially because they Sometimes use descriptive text boxes?? But now that i think back that’s only when there’s no other character to tell, i think hmm- anyway- show don’t tell, y’know?

Those are my big three, but now lemme tell you why i love obey me to balance this out, although it’s very pessimistically optimistic but that’s just how i am so, this is positive to me I promise;

it’s like ‘themed nothing’ (especially the events xD) and i vibe with that, i personally struggle with finishing things that have an end, so i often stop in the middle of things when my brain realizes that gasp this has an end??, movies, shows, books, games, my own art, it’s just something i do oops- but obey me is big nothing, there’s really no end or goal in sight, meaning stopping in the middle doesn’t feel like you’re missing much- you could play the first two seasons and then headcanon from there on, forever and that could feel just as canon- literally the consistency and lack of stable info means anything could be valid. I love being given the building blocks.

Like obey me is something that could be sO rad (rad puns always intended) but it’s just okay, and that’s okay, i still love it and it’s still my immediate comfort escape thing.

Now, back to twilight, i will say that it has a huge broken sentences and conversation problems and the battles are visually and audibly janky- i’m willing to put that aside for now tho, because i’m vibing, i’m not tOo picky xD ignore me being picky rn.

Oh and this is just a me thing, but just the fact that the characters in twilight are polite to mc and at least sEem to want to help mc, makes me all hap, because, have you played twisted wonderland? (It’s nOt a dating sim like game, lemme be clear, but it’s structured similar to the other games i play) Have you seen how little anyone seems to actively care about that poor mc?- Mc? Go home? Nono, keep doing stuff for us silly, helping you get home is too much work lol, Love the game so much skfhsj but wow- y’know how the obey me characters bully mammon for existing? Skjdks i honestly feel like lowkey the twisted wonderland mc gets the mammon treatment sometimes as a running joke, and i think it’s hilarious actually-

I hope this actually feels like it had a point? Like there’s at least something in here of value to someone? Done tho, thank you for listening, if you did✨

#arcana twilight #pacing thoughts #obey me! one master to rule them all #twisted wonderland #honestly just don’t mind me over here xd

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aparticularbandit · 2 years

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For the writing ask, 1, 10, and 34 please? Pretty please 🙃

SO I DID THIS WITH THE WRONG MEME THE FIRST TIME SO FIXING IT AND ALL THE WRONG MEME QUESTIONS AND ETC. ARE BENEATH THE CUT SORRY FRIEND.

weird questions for writers

1) What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

i write in calibri light size 9. i actually care, this is not the default, i just like the way it looks. XD

10) Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

when i was in college, one of my favorite professors gave us a bunch of poetry that were basically about the limits of language, about how it can’t really do what we want it to do, and one of them that sticks with me is the problem of describing trees, and i find myself frequently quoting that last line - aspens doing something in the wind - whenever i can’t think of the proper words. (in the same way, after reading rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead, i find myself frequently - consistency is all we ask; give us this day our daily mask.) but i’m not sure i’d call either of those haunting? there’s a fic, too, that i only kind of sort of read the first chapter of, where reader is a wandanat daughter but agatha had kidnapped her a long time ago and it deals significantly with csa (which is...part of why i didn’t read very much of it), but there’s a line where reader says “she called me agnes” - about agatha - and that line just. it was such a line. i think. - in my own writing, this is the gift and the gift that i give is myself. and even earlier than that, i have decided that you are worthy of me. this is the gift.... those lines stick with me. for...completely unrelated reasons, actually. XD and i think there are...moments, yes, from things - when wanda finally goes back for agatha in finding family and agnes sees her and curls into her weeping and wanda says she’s come to bring her home. idk that i’d use haunted for those, though? it’s kind of like - they’re not happy scenes or lines or anything like that, but ones that leave a sort of...of oh, and not necessarily in a good way. when something causes a paradigm shift and not in a good way, in a tragic sort of way. like - the haunting of hill house and the haunting of bly manor are masterclasses in the meaning of that word, in having a story be haunting - they have scary moments and they’re horror, i guess, but they’re mostly just haunting. i think maybe the closest my writing has done that for me is stuff from jessica rabbit’s timeline canon. particularly just the...the inevitable tragedy of so much of it. bits and pieces of her relationship with scully, near the end. the kiss when she gave her the first edition of moby dick and the five times kissed where she left. the going back and dropping companion bunny off before defaulting. and then after with regina, the constant struggle of wanting to be with her and also all of her suicidal tendencies, like it did not matter that she loved regina or that regina loved her she still wanted to be dead and she thought she was making henry hallucinate like she was and just so much of jess’s timeline canon was just so painful and inevitable and haunting. because it just. it hurt. it all hurt. it still hurts. yeah. yeah.

34) Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

it is important and necessary because there are too many times where i have stumbled trying to understand what is being written because it isn’t there. grammar - like the oxford comma - is meant to help me understand what you the writer are saying. if i can’t understand what you are saying because you refuse to use the oxford comma, then you are wrong. write in such a way that it is clear to your reader what you mean and don’t get in your own fucking way. use the oxford comma.

ask game for fanfic writers

1) do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

It depends on the story! Finding Family I knew the general ending when I started (it expanded as the story expanded in terms of who was there, but the ending still remained roughly intact). A lot of my one-shots turned series I stumble through as I go (Agave Stuff was like this, although I now know the rough ending of it (and the start of the follow-up story although not the ending of it), as is the Roisa Soulmate Timer AU). I think more often than not I don't know the ending, but I tend to know general lamp posts. It's always a fun time when I do figure out the ending because then it's just I want to write to get to this point, I want y'all to see where it's going, which is a different feeling than me trying to figure out where it's going. XD

10) at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

i hate coming up with titles, coming up with titles is the worst part of the whole process, and thus it is usually the last thing i do. with a few notable exceptions which is more i spent too much time brainstorming this before writing it and thus came up with an actually okay title (series are like this, too, usually). but like. this is why titles suck. ...except for when i got bored and started doing random bs titles for agave stuff, which is probably why they're some of my favorites. XD

34) how do you name characters and places?

fortunately i do not have to title characters very often in fanfic, but most of the time when i do, i use behindthname.com and play around with different name meanings that i think are appropriate. (this is how i came up with cian masters for the ancient one - cian is apparently irish for ancient - which fit with the ancient one in the mcu apparently coming from a more celtic tradition (and also tilda swinton being a natural redhead, but that wasn't part of that process) - and then masters was playing around with masters of the mystic arts - if cian didn't have a surname originally given i have them being a foundling when i play with more canonical ancient one etc., then they would take masters once the world changed enough that they might need one.) but also, like, sometimes it's about what names sound good with other names (claire's mother being rowena because i tend to write her and agatha as cousins where her mother is evanora's sister and rowena needed to match evanora) or what names just...come up (cian's adopted father is roland (he's their actual dad in agave stuff, not adopted) and that's just...a name that fit). most of the time with places, like with names, i try with references: agatha's restaurant in agave stuff is the scratching post of salem, which references both 1) senor scratchy, 2) post for witch trials, and 3) salem, ma - but sometimes it's just a name that sounds good.

#thelittlewolfofaretuza #musings #bandit answers questions #on writing #fanfic #meme response #thank you so much for asking!#and i'm sorry i took so long to answer!!

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ikemenomegas · 2 years

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i love how you have an alpha split for the jjk omega things

i love how you have a longing ending to both of the satoru and suguru explanations

how do you justify that when everyone is so sad lol

XD I had too reread this question twice because I had a horrified moment when I thought you were making the Satoru/Alpha/Suguru situation some kind of ice cream metaphor? Which is an image I don't particularly care for because being between two very fit men who more than half a foot taller than I am just sounds like claustrophobia. Satoru can be the center spoon, I'll be on the outside, thanks.

I'm glad that you enjoyed that feeling! JJK is a series that loves repression and longing too much to ever abandon in even a fanwork haha.

I don't know if you meant to be funny but you're last line made me cackle. Very "how dare you/the audacity" which, given that I haven't gotten to other things yet ... (Suguru birthday fic, tomorrow! I have had it written for like six weeks and i'm so excited to do a final edit before publishing)

Sometimes I feel really bad about it, mostly because JJK thrives on having foiling pairs, often with the "they were best friends then the fire nation attacked" levels of dedication and drama. The author also just has an intense amount of character arc parallels (different from BSD's love if imagery parallels) which makes it feel a little imposter-ish to add to an already well balanced duo/trio and to have to make that oc someone who works with instead of against those groups.

The nature of a healthy romantic relationship is something that ideally should help you grow, or at least bring you some kind of mutual comfort, vs a lot of the canon parallels just show the characters how much they have left to lose, so that's another thing to contend with constantly. At what points does the oc/character relationship have conflict which seems to add to my understanding of the original themes, and at which point do I let that relationship be comforting for the readers and characters.

So my justification I suppose ends up being that I don't think the alpha you're asking about is actually as happy or hopeful as the blurbs seem. I think they get the benefit of being with someone they care about, but ultimately that's going to come at a cost. The show is about people leaving and the people who get left behind to deal with things, so again I feel a little weird having this oc's issue being that they're the one who stayed. (... I guess that makes them their own foil in a weird way? It doesn't really work because it's literally the same person but it's as close as they get).

Tl;dr: I justify it by also having the oc be sort of sad XD. There are happy moments, and I think that's consistent with the source. Repressed and careful about feelings as everyone is, they do manage to form friendships that tear them apart, so I guess I just wanted to try that with a romantic pairing?

#this is utter rambling nonsense #i'm going to bed #ask answered #jjk #omegaverse

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hirazuki · 2 years

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Tagged by @skaelds -- thanks for the tag!

1.Three ships?

Hmm, I’m going to interpret this as romantic ships, because I have much fewer of those than platonic ones; otherwise we’ll be here all day XD I don’t really have any ships in Tolkien (like, I’m cool with all the ones established in canon and a handful of fanon ones, I’m just not particularly invested in any), so:

Ulquiorra/Orihime (Bleach) Erza/Jellal (Fairy Tail) Sesshomaru/Kagura (Inuyasha)

2. First ever ship?

Probably Lymond/Phillippa (The Lymond Chronicles)

3. Last song?

The Sea and a Pearl by Junna yes, I’m stll upset about how the series went but the opening song is so catchy damn it

4. Last movie?

I rewatched both Phantom Rouge and The Last Mission, for Hunter x Hunter research purposes 👀

5. Currently reading?

I’m about to start (re)reading the Silmarillion, the entire HoMe, Fall of Numenor, Nature of Middle Earth, and select parts of LotR and the Hobbit -- ideally in that order -- in preparation for some much overdue fic writing and possibly text-supported blorbo analysis because if I see one more take of a certain flavor, I am going to start a cult to Melkor

6. Currently watching?

I’ve been rewatching Space Battleship Yamato in the background while drawing (tbh mostly for the music; I can’t find the soundtrack anywhere and it is gorgeous); and in terms of currently-airing, I’m following Vinland Saga S2 (it’s beautifully rendered but I miss Askeladd SO MUCH), Boruto (I can always rely on Narutoverse to be there for me ♡), and Revenger (still forming my opinion on this one).

7. Currently consuming?

Coffee and water. I should probably actually eat something solid but basic self-care this past week has been at an all-time low.

8. Currently craving?

The attention span to sit down and just. finish editing even just one of the seven different fics I’m working on so that I can actually post something T___T

____________________________________________________

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Saint Alexios; very traditional and typical of my family to name me after a saint. Me? Not so much a fan. I have a very love-hate relationship with my name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I rarely cry, like once every few years, but I fulfilled my quota this past Wednesday ✌️

3. Do you have kids?

Absolutely not.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Lmao every sentence. Even when I honestly don’t mean to use it, I end up sounding like I’m being sarcastic XD

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

The way they move, primarily their gait. I’ve realized that I recognize people by the way they walk and hold themselves rather than their faces or other more conventional aspects *is actually a dog in human form*

6. What’s your eye colour?

Debatable. I, personally, think it’s green, but I’ve heard others say blue and/or grey.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I don’t really care for scary movies, so I guess happy endings by default; but honestly, any media that is narratively coherent and consistent and delivers satisfactorily.

8. Any special talents?

Scary levels of organization. Can recognize people from the sound of their footsteps. Dog magnet. When I walk/move, I apparently make no sound and terrify people, even if I’m not trying to be quiet at all.

9. Where were you born?

Greece

10. What are your hobbies?

Drawing, writing, cosplay, swordsmanship.

11. Have you any pets?

I used to have a zoo, but time happens and..... as of this past week, there are none left. It’s been rough. (I live with my sis and she still has hers, so there are still fur babies in the house, but. it’s not the same.)

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I used to be big on soccer and basketball way back in middle school and high school, but none since then. I do practice martial arts, but none that fall into the sports category.

13. How tall are you?

About 170cm/5′6′’ ish.

14. Favorite subject in school?

English. Who knew that all those years of successfully bullshitting literary analysis would lead to online blorbo appreciation?? XD

15. Dream job?

Once upon a time, I dreamed of having a job that let me travel the world, allowed me to work with archaeological artifacts, and provided me with a skillset that I could also apply to my creative endeavors and other hobbies (i.e., objects conservator with a focus in metallurgy/metalsmithing).

Now, I just want something that requires minimum contact with other people/the public, is interesting enough to not bore or irritate me, and that leaves me with enough time and energy at the end of the day to pursue my own interests. Oh, and that pays a livable wage! Unrealistic, I know XD

Uh, I don’t think I have 15 mutuals ^^; so I tag: @baked-hylian, @cruelfeline, @nomadicism, @chellekumari, @strangefellows, and anyone else who wants to do it! Do it only if you want, of course! :)

#that was fun; i haven't done one of these in a while!#it was a nice break from all the adulting #now. must go back to adulting T___T #i hate going out in public where i can be perceived on my days off #i think i'll reward myself with a new plant. to motivate myself.

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