#not to attack you all but she was talking to sander here.... just saying <3

[pencilpat]

Sanders Sides: College AU - Part 6

Character sheets | Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

“Did you not enjoy meeting me?” Patton tries to ignore the sweat on their skin as though these simple questions are an interrogation. “I did enjoy meeting you, J! You’re fun to talk to.”

Patton continues to be tangled in the coils of Janus's not-well-thought-out revenge plans. Virgil is struggling over the changes his partner is exhibiting. Remus and Roman decide some things matter more than drama from high school.

3,012 words

[CW: manipulation, drug mentions, character experiencing psychosis, mentions of panic attacks, alcohol mentions, discussion of holiday related trauma, abusive father mention, abusive mother mention, codependent familial relationship]

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The charms on Patton’s phone clack against each other as they walk down the street, glancing hurriedly around for a particular park bench between a bakery café and a bar. They glance at the texts from their new friend J one more time, scrolling up slightly through several days of messages just to check they have everything right. It’s midday on a weekend, and Patton may or may not have had to tell a small fib to get time away from the others; nothing terrible, they just told them they had some shopping to do.

They clutch their phone at their chest, nervously glancing up at a bakery with the correct name. They look around the sidewalk as they come up to it, landing on a bench right outside. The green painted wood stands out cheerily in an area of town where most color comes from neon signs promising your wildest of parties. It’s empty, however, and they hum to themselves and sit down, smoothing out their overall-dress with a heavy sigh.

Pat: Hey J! I’m here, where are u?

They fire off a confused text, rubbing their forehead and adjusting their glasses. The bakery wafts warm smells out at them that nearly, almost, cover the reek of the bars all around it. It’s a quiet little spot that seems so out of place… It’s kind of cute, with a wood cabin façade on the front of the brick building and rows of pastries in the window.

🍏❤: Look up

Patton rereads her message twice, glancing up and blinking rapidly around. From the glass door of the café, they finally see her, waving them inside with a glimmering smile and black gloved hands. Patton sighs in relief and enters the store, face to face with her.

“Hi J! I thought you might have bailed on hanging out for a moment.”

“Oh, Pat, please. I would never turn down an opportunity with you.”

Patton giggles slightly. “You say that like we’ve been friends for years instead of this being our third time even meeting up!”

J shrugs at them, a wry grin crossing the corners of her lips. She gestures around at the incredibly cozy looking bakery with armchairs and coffee tables instead of restaurant tables. “Is this more your thing than the bars we tried last time?”

“Oh!” Patton touches their chest, appreciating being thought of like that. “Um, yes, this is nicer and calmer. Those bars were a lot for me. So was being drunk.”

J smirks. “Yes, I could gather that considering you almost threw up in the bathroom.”

“Hey, don’t kick someone when they’re down, J!” Patton jokes, patting at her arm repeatedly. Looking over at the counter and the menu above it, Patton sees pastries, several coffees, and a whole separate menu of hot chocolates. “I guess it is getting close to the holidays,” they murmur as the two of them approach. Janus glances at them, but just proceeds with ordering a mint cocoa. Patton ends up settling on a Mexican style hot cocoa, which has never let them down in deliciousness before.

As they both sit down, Janus leans her chin on her hands. “So, what is it about the holidays that made you look like a shellshocked war vet all of a sudden?”

“Oh!” Patton tries to wipe anything but a smile off of their face. “I’m sorry, you don’t need to worry about it!”

“Hm, who said I was worried. Curious would perhaps be a more accurate word. Don’t you enjoy them? Sitting down with those you love and pretending, for just a moment in time, that all is well…” Janus trails off in thought, eyes closing.

“I think it’s all that pretending that I don’t like about it, actually. I had to pretend everything was just fine one too many times on Christmas day.”

“Oh?”

Patton flinches at their own revealing words. The distant image of their dad’s used needles on the coffee table alongside wrapping paper rotates in their mind, a thought they can’t banish. They knock their knuckles on the wooden armrests three times, taking a breath and holding it for a moment. The image moves on. “Yeah, the holidays weren’t… the best of times, growing up. Well, nothing was really the best of times back then.”

J says nothing for a moment, before realizing Patton has stopped. “Leaving me on a cliffhanger, Pat?”

“I don’t really like talking about it-“

The conversation is cut off by the appearance of a barista who sets their drinks in front of them with a wave. Patton picks up the red mug they were given, blowing on the steam and floating around a lone cinnamon stick inside of it. Decidedly not making eye contact. J stares at them, resting her gloved hands over the warm mug and drinking in the heat on her cold limbs. She massages her throat, deciding on a tone of voice to use. Concern? Guilt tripping? Passive aggressive? ‘Genuine’ kindness?

“You don’t have to tell me everything,” she says, settling on a compassionate, slightly upset tone. “But I just want to help, in any area I can.”

Patton shifts in their chair, and meets her eyes again with a tired sigh. “No, it’s okay, I know you just… just want to help. I don’t like talking about my childhood a lot of the time.” Janus nods, preparing to catalogue information for later. “It wasn’t a good one. My dad wasn’t a good guy, honestly, but- but he was very good at pretending to be. Went to church every Sunday, did substances in his free time, you know, typical hypocritical religious man.” Patton laughs uncomfortably, and Janus tilts her head, raising an eyebrow. Patton sips their still scalding cocoa, trying to hide or divert somehow. “A-anyways, he’s gone now. I don’t talk to my mom either, so… yeah.”

“Seems like you have a storied past, Pat. Does your… boyfriend take good care of you, at least? Did you take him out somewhere like I suggested?”

“Oh, he does take good care of me, yes! We both help each other with our mental health a lot.” Patton rubs their hand over the side of the mug anxiously. “I tried taking him somewhere during school hours as a surprise like you said might work, but I don’t know, I think it just upset him. There’s been some personal drama in our friend group.”

“Oh, has there?” she says. Janus represses the urge to be pleased with herself, because Patton seems upset in a way that even she doesn’t feel comfortable toying with.

“Yeah… Our housemate’s brother had to be kicked out.”

“Really?” she says, faux shocked. “And what caused that?”

“He was… involved with drugs,” Patton whispers. “And it was really- It- It could have put my friends in danger. We were being harassed by his dealers.”

“Was he not your friend as well?”

“Not… not in a real, genuine way. We would argue more than actually enjoy being around each other. We had very different ideas about right and wrong.”

“And what are your ideas on right and wrong, Pat?”

Patton chuffs out a light laugh. “Well, the main point of contention we argued on was that drugs are absolutely never a good thing, especially if other people are involved too.”

“Right, and that’s why you were out drinking alone when we met.”

Patton tenses up and hides in another sip of too-hot cocoa. “That was my first time ever- I do not go out. Not, at least, before we met.”

“Did you not enjoy meeting me?”

Patton tries to ignore the sweat on their skin as though these simple questions are an interrogation. “I did enjoy meeting you, J! You’re fun to talk to.”

“Well, at least I have that going for me. God forbid I secretly be a drug dealer or something, could you imagine?”

“You’re… not, are you?”

Janus’s smile falls dramatically into a near cartoonish disappointed frown, and she raises an eyebrow at them. “I was joking, no, I don’t do any substances but booze.”

“Okay, good, ha,” Patton relaxes a slight bit, breathing out a low breath. “How about you, J? I revealed some childhood of mine – how was yours?”

“Definitely just as bad as yours, sweetie.” It’s Janus’s turn to awkwardly sip at her mug, feeling small all of a sudden, as though the entire world is watching her rather than the single, spectacled gaze of her new 'bestie.' Patton stares at her curiously until the silence is making her uncomfortable. “I haven’t talked to either of my parents since I was 15 if that tells you anything.”

“Why’s that?”

Janus sighs through her nose, eyes closing tiredly for a moment as she picks her words carefully. “I got kicked out to put it simply. My parents were very traditional, only second-generation immigrants with a whole lot of strong ideals and desires about my future. They didn’t take kindly to having a trans kid, to say the least.” Patton nods, eyebrows creased sympathetically, encouraging her to keep going. “I made it on my own from there. Now, here I am. Voila.”

“That was a lot of words to tell me almost nothing at all, J,” Patton teases her lightly.

“I don’t prefer divulging so much information when I’ve met someone all of three times.”

Patton shrugs, humming. “That’s fair, I won’t pry! I don’t have a crowbar anyways.”

Janus chuckles, rolling her eyes just slightly. “Ugh, wordplay. Anyways. How is your drink?”

“Oh, it’s very nice! Hot cocoa never misses though, so it’s to be expected,” Patton smiles across at her. Janus hums, drinking deep from her mug, letting the warm feeling replace her pain just for a moment. She needs to remain unrecognized, but damn is it rough to get around without her crutches. The mint and chocolate taste does a good job of flooding her sense out. She sighs out a breath, peeking at Patton through one eye.

“This is nice. Very relaxing, quiet. Never thought I could enjoy an activity that is basically just sitting there.”

“Well, just sitting there can be nice! Especially with a friend.”

Janus smiles, though whether it’s a reaction to the kindness or a grim nod to how far from friendship this really is, even she couldn’t tell you. “I’m glad you feel that way, Pat. I suppose we can do more things at ‘your pace’ from here on; I’ve realized I just might need the relaxation. Plus, you are ever-interesting to learn about.”

Patton smiles at her sheepishly, and her lips split into a smile as well, teeth bared and glimmering under her thick black lipstick.

--

They’ve attempted to practice this song before, so Virgil lets himself get very, very into it, banging the drums like he has a personal vendetta against percussion instruments while Roman attempts to keep up on his bass guitar. Roman sweatily plays the last notes of the song, but Virgil doesn’t stop playing, seemingly just starting right back into the drums for the chorus in a loop, his eyes closed and face scrunched up.

“Virgil!” Roman attempts to call out to him four times, and eventually just walks up to him and catches the cymbal as he was about to hit it, muffling it and finally startling him out of his trance. “Earth to emo, the song’s over already!” Virgil just stares at him for a moment, panting with wide eyes.

“Uh- Sorry. I got caught up in it.”

“No kidding,” Roman snarks, leaning against his kit. “How are we supposed to have a successful recording if you are dead set on becoming the next Def Leopard?”

“Sorry, jeeze,” Virgil mumbles. He begins getting up and moving towards their water bottles, and Roman can’t help noticing how stiff and uncomfortable he looks.

“Virgil?” he stops him. “Hey, is something amiss?”

Virgil sighs, chugs a large gulp of water, and then wipes his brow. “Yeah, it’s- I’m fine, it’s nothing serious.”

“You are acting fishier than sushi Sundays, just tell me what’s up.”

Virgil groans. “I dunno. Patton’s just been… weird lately. Have you noticed it at all?”

Roman tries to think, tapping his chin. “Nothing outside of their usual oddities.”

“They’ve been veering into really upsetting territory for me lately.” Roman makes an inquiring hum, and Virgil grimaces. “Really quick to tell white lies and immediately assure me it won’t have any consequences. They also stay up in the living room most nights instead of coming to bed with me early like they used to. And they keep leaving the house for seemingly no reason.”

“Not necessarily the most unlike them they could act, but it is odd. Do you think it could be new rituals? Do they need their meds adjusted?”

Virgil shakes his head. “I mean, I don’t know. They haven’t needed their meds changed in at least half a year; they’ve been really stable anxiety-wise? It’s just- just weird, and I don’t like it. It keeps making me have panic attacks.”

“Well, we certainly can’t have that. Have you spoken with them about it yet?”

“No, I’m too nervous that I’m just being… being over-cautious.” Virgil pulls up his hood, gripping the sides of it and worrying with the fabric. “What if I bring it up and they think I’m being crazy?”

Roman touches his hands with his, for once gloveless, fingers, looking at him seriously. “You know for a fact Patton would never in their life call you crazy, especially when you are just concerned for them. Whatever it is, I know they’ll let us know when they feel like they can. Until then, I know it’s asking much from you, but trust them.”

Virgil grimaces, but it fades into a soft smile. “Thanks for reassuring me, Rom, I’m sorry. Just get a little anxious sometimes.”

“Oh please, in another universe, the name on your birth certificate is ‘Anxiety’ Addams instead,” Roman teases. Virgil scoffs, then swipes Roman’s bangs into his face, leaving him sputtering on his own hair as they both laugh.

--

Roman is already settled cozily in bed and half asleep when his phone begins ringing, and he groans at it dramatically for ruining his sleep. He fumbles on his bedside table and pulls the bright light into view. He nearly drops the phone in his urgency to pick it up the second his sleepy eyes register Remus’s contact name.

“Remus! You’re calling me?! You dick, just text me when I te-“

“Do you hate me, Roman?”

Roman just kind of freezes in place, listening to his twin’s very heavy breathing. “Remus? Are you okay?”

Remus laughs shakily on the other end. “Change of environment finally caught up with me. The stress of ignoring you did too, I guess.”

Roman cups the phone against his ear as though it could count as comforting Remus across the phone line. “I don’t hate you, no. I don’t think I could manage it as much as I like to pretend I can.” Roman replies to him with as much sober sincerity as he posed the question. “You’re my brother, you know?”

“Being their son didn’t make them love me. I don’t know why you’d uphold family ties so much after everyone else got rid of me.” Roman hears Remus’s breath hitch, and he knows instantly that he must be feeling things grabbing his legs again. It’s a common but very distressing hallucination for him.

“Remus, mom and dad can suck shit,” Roman declares, and to his happiness, it draws a more genuine sounding chuckle from his twin. He can’t help smiling at the sound of his stupid laugh. “Maybe family ties are bullcrap, but whatever you and I have isn’t anything like how mom and dad ‘showed love.’ We actually love each other, like real fucking family.” Roman pauses, listening to Remus breathe again, proving his twin is there to himself. “I did promise I’d always take care of you. Nothing about that has changed.”

“It has though, y’know?” Remus’s voice shakes slightly. “We’re adults, like fully now, and we can’t be that close anymore.”

“Why not?”

“It wouldn’t be healthy for two 20ish bros to share a bed, no offence but I don’t like you like that,” Remus jokes, making Roman snort out a laugh and roll his eyes.

“Remus, you’re such an idiot. I do concede that I never want to share a bed with you again because you stink,” Remus laughs on the other end, but Roman continues. “But us doing that isn’t the extent of brother-ness. You were sick, like really sick, back then. We can care for each other… outside the context of suffering, too.”

“Even though I went and stayed with her? Do you really think Virgil could handle you still talking to me regularly?”

Roman sighs. “Look- Just- Some things are more important than that stupid godawful fight from high school. You and I weren’t even involved, we just had to physically put ourselves between them.”

“Didn’t know Virgil was capable of being that scary TBH,” Remus mutters, pronouncing each letter of the acronym.

“Yyyeah, me either up until then.” He sighs. “We couldn’t exactly not take his side, you know?”

“We could have not taken sides at all!”

“Remus, look, Janus isn’t – or at least wasn’t – a good person or a good friend, and even if you’re talking to her, don’t bring her into me and Virgil’s lives if you can help it. Please?” Roman listens to him breathe in deeply.

“I won’t, don’t worry about that. Look your highness, I need to go and smoke a joint, or else this episode is just getting worse for the night, but Roman?”

“Yes Remus?”

“I promise I won’t ignore your texts anymore. See you never, loser.”

“See you in tartarus , you jerk,” Roman says playfully, rolling his eyes. “And… Love you.”

There’s a pause of silence and shifting for a bit longer than comfortable. “Love you too, Rom,” Remus says, quickly hanging up and leaving Roman alone in the darkness again.

[nyttvera]

yasmina ait omar + vrijdag 20:18

[wish-i-wasnt-a-coward]

Everything and Nothing

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Pairings: Eventual LAMP, Demus

Warnings: Food mention, spacing out, loss of ability to read, mild negative self talk, guilt, mentions of a bully, mentions of intentional misgendering, cursing

Word Count: 1,214

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Logan was trying to read. He really was, usually, he was very good at reading and chose to do it recreationally. He could focus on the words and tune out the clutter that was the rest of the world. The book would take him to a place where his parents were proud of him, where he could sit still for longer than a minute, where Virgil was comfortable and Patton talked about his feelings. But not today. 

He was stuck. The sentence just didn’t make sense, there was no way to explain it without sounding like a complete lunatic, but Logan had temporarily lost the ability to read. ‘Not the best thing to happen in the middle of AP English’ Logan thought with a sigh, bouncing his leg at a ridiculously fast pace.

With nothing better to do Logan looked around the classroom. The week's homework was up on the whiteboard. Frankenstein’s monster, the book they were reading, was written in lovely cursive (which Logan also couldn’t read) at the top. Closer to Logan, Patton sat reading. They had worked so hard to get into this class, and Logan was very proud of them. 

School didn’t come easily to Patton, the way it did to Logan. But they were one of the smartest people Logan knew. They were invariably there for their friends, they knew what to say when Virgil was having an anxiety attack and knew what to do when Logan was overstimulated or having a meltdown. They understood emotions like Logan understood math. Logan would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit jealous. 

Logan was so zoned out he didn’t even realize that Mr. Flores had moved to stand next to his desk until the teacher spoke. 

“Hey, Logan'' the man whispered with a smile, “are you alright?” Logan looked up at him, “um, I’m having a bit of trouble reading right now, it's ok though I can just read this chapter for homework as well.” he replied with an awkward smile. “Oh don’t worry kid, I know what that's like, give me a second '' after a moment Mr. Flores returned with a small box and headphones. “Here, you can listen to the book and do the assignment at the same time instead of reading” Logan took it with wide eyes, “You know how to work these things?” Mr. Flores asked, “Uh yeah, thank you!” the young boy said, quickly sliding on the headphones. 

Patton looked back at him and smiled their angelic smile. Logan involuntarily smiled back and began working on the assignment. 

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By the time the class was over Logan’s head had cleared considerably. Patton, of course, had checked on him as soon as they had a moment. Logan was quick to reassure them that he was fine. Both of them thanked any god that may be up there for Mr. Flores. Knowing that without proper action Logan’s light zoning out could quickly turn into a dissociation episode. 

Patton was kicking themselves for not noticing sooner. And Logan was feeling like a burden. Neither enjoyed their next two classes. 

When lunch period rolled around the glasses gays were hoping that the day may improve for them. Roman had been joining the group during lunch break, and though she and Virgil weren’t yet quite as friendly as the others were, it was always nice to see him. 

Logan walked through the crowded lunchroom. He let muscle memory take over as he sidestepped the popular cliques, slipping into a chair at their usual table next to Virgil.  Bumping knees with the boy to alert him of Logan’s presence without scaring him. 

Virgil didn’t even look up, handing Logan an earbud for the BuzzFeed Unsolved video he was watching. Logan happily accepted scooting closer to the angsty teen. 

They were quite the pair. Most of the school was used to the odd friend group. But in many situations, it is not common to see a boy with purple emo bangs, baggy clothes, and heavy black makeup sitting shoulder to shoulder with an uptight nerd who wore ties to school. 

But it gets even odder, as the fluffy, happy, sunshine child slides next to the emo reaching over to turn on the close captions. Along with them, one of the two new kids, the one who wore a red trench coat to school, watched over their shoulders. 

Despite their oddness, they were important parts of the school’s hierarchy. Patton was the head of the cheer-leading squad and had turned the naturally misogynistic club into a safe space of sorts. Logan was the head of the debate team, this was a very popular club to watch after school. Because he would become very passionate about even the smallest subjects, and when the subjects weren’t small he was known to become violent. Which was entertaining, to say the least. Virgil was less involved than the other two, opting for running the small art program. He volunteered during his study hall and after school some days, helping the art teacher. 

The new kid had very quickly established herself as an immense theater nerd and had won the heart of the chemistry teacher who ran the theater program, Mr. Sanders. The cast and crew had also quickly accepted Roman as a part of the team. 

But despite the friends that the four had outside of their group, they opted for each other. If you asked Patton, they would say that it was because they were “bestest friends”, Logan would go on a rant about how they balanced each other out well, Roman would say that it was destiny that brought them together, and Virgil would mumble something about how queers always found each other. 

Of course, not everyone liked this, and there were people that even Patton would punch in the face if given the chance. 

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The video came to a dramatic end and Virgil let his head fall against Logan’s shoulder. Roman and Patton were teasing each other about something while eating their lunches. He could tell from the look in Logan and Pat’s eyes that it had been a tiring morning for the two of them. It had been a rough morning for him as well. 

The bitchiest bitch of them all, Greg had been in both his Math and history class this year. How he got into AP math, Virgil will never know. He was a bigoted fuck and as dumb as a rock. Those two things, unsurprisingly, often went hand in hand.

He had a lovely habit of misgendering Patton and Virgil. It was difficult for Virgil to see his best friend bullied like that and was tempted to tell someone. But for the most part, he just physically and verbally harassed Virgil. Hopefully drawing attention from the others. 

If L and Ro ever found out about Greg there would, without a doubt be bloodshed. The two of them could get in trouble, or hurt, or killed, and it would be all Virgil's fault. So he kept quiet about it. He had to. 

Logan gently wrapped an arm around Virgil pulling him back down to earth. “Are you alright Verge?” he muttered. Virgil just nodded burying his face further into Logan’s chest. He felt Lo hum in response, continuing his lunch one-handed. 

[max-is-tired]

Everything (everything will be just fine)

Pairing: established background Anxceitmus, the fic itself is Virgil-centric

Characters: Virgil Sanders, Deceit Sanders, Remus Sanders

Words: 1.304

Warnings: one (1) light sexual innuendo, deadnaming, misgendering, controlling parents, swearing, sympathetic Remus & Deceit

Notes: man I keep posting these fics later and later uh nsakjscncjk anyway, have some Virgil being confident and standing up to his parents, heck yeah. Also, big thanks to @figurative-siren-song for the prompt, I sure had lots of fun writing it <3

Commission me!!  Buy me a coffee!!  Join my Discord server!!  AO3!!

To say that Virgil was anxious would have been an understatement.

Every nerve of his body felt as if it was on fire, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he fought with everything he had not to break down right in the middle of the living room -there was no way his parents were going to miss that, and then he’d have to explain why exactly he was having an anxiety attack and he really did not want to do that.

Not yet at least, not until he was out of the house and ready to leave. If anything were to happen before that, Virgil was 99% sure things would not end up great. For him, anyway.

His phone buzzed in his hoodie pocket, startling him out of his thoughts.

[HissHissMotherfucker] hey, hows it going over there?

[GreenGoblinMan] ik i already offered but if you need me to i still have enough time to come over

[GreenGoblinMan] my morning star and i are great at emotional support :{D

Virgil snorted, shaking his head with a smile -god, why did he have to fall in love with these two dorks?

[RacoonMan] skjcndkjcn

[RacoonMan] we’re about to start loading up the trunk, so the Talk hasnt happened yet

[RacoonMan] and i think ill take a raincheck on that one, rem. i dont want to have to bail you out again

[GreenGoblinMan] awww D}:

[HissHissMotherfucker] dont worry spider, ill make sure he doesnt try to sneak out

[HissHissMotherfucker] do let us know when youre on your way though, we’ve got nightmare before christmas and black cauldron all set up and ready to go

[GreenGoblinMan] and i made grilled cheese!!! the edible kind, dee didnt let me play with any fun ingredients this time

[RacoonMan] you guys know im not big on cheesy shit

[RacoonMan] but god i love you a lot right now

[GreenGoblinMan] ilyt vevee!! and you can show us just how much you love us when you get here :{D

[HissHissMotherfucker] aaaaaaaand moment gone

Virgil huffed out another small laugh, bringing up the keyboard to type out an answer, only to be interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Quickly, he slipped his phone back into his pocket, taking in a deep breath as he steeled himself for what was about to come.

“Anne!” his mother called, stepping into the living room with a big smile. “Are you ready, dear?”

Virgil barely let himself wince at the mention of his deadname, far too used to it by now -if everything went according to plan, after today he wasn’t going to hear that name ever again anyway.

“Yup, all packed up and ready to be loaded in the car.”

Virgil’s dad nodded in understanding, the last of the boxes from upstairs still perched up in his arms.

“Very well, then let’s get started,” he said, gesturing with his head towards the front door they’d opened beforehand.

Virgil nodded, crouching down to take a few boxes of his own. Immediately, his mother shot forward, resting her hand on his forearm with a frown.

“Honey, let your dad handle the heavy lifting,” she said, voice sickeningly sweet, “that’s not something a girl should have to deal with.”

“Well, thank fuck I’m not a girl then,” Virgil wanted to say, feeling the familiar irritation bubble up in his gut. Still, he kept silent, biting the inside of his cheek until the urge passed.

Just a little more. He had to deal with all of this just a little bit more.

“Don’t worry mom, I got this,” he said instead, carefully shrugging her hand away. “Besides, if I let dad do all the work then I’d risk being late and getting stuck in the rush hour traffic, which I really don’t want to deal with.”

His mother huffed but relented, following Virgil out of the door as he went to settle the boxes on the asphalt beside the open trunk.

“I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t want us to come with, honestly,” she kept pressing, crossing her arms in obvious displeasure. “We can help you set your room up, make sure everything is alright…”

And that’s exactly why I don’t want you to come, Virgil thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he walked back towards the house.

It didn’t take them long to load the whole car up, and before Virgil knew it, everything was set up and ready to go.

Well, time to get this show on the road, he guessed.

“We can still come with you, you know that right?” his father remarked for the fifth time in less than an hour. “Your college is not too far away, after all.”

“At least text us once you get there,” his mother huffed, “and remember, no pit stops or something of the like. Drive straight to your dorm, you understand me, young girl?”

This time, Virgil did roll his eyes, walking around the car towards the driver’s seat. “Don’t worry mom, the only place I want to be right now is my apartment.”

Virgil could almost pinpoint the moment his words registered for his parents, instinctively tightening his hand around his phone as his heart started to speed up again.

The device buzzed and he looked down again, seeing the new message blinking up at him from the screen.

[HissHissMotherfucker] you can do this, Virgil. We believe in you

Virgil smiled, his grip loosening as a sudden surge of confidence filled his chest. With Dee and Remus by his side, he felt as if he could overcome anything.

“You’re going to a college dorm, Anne, not an apartment,” his mother pointed out, eyes reduced to slits as she dared him to contradict her.

Virgil met her gaze head-on, the most unafraid he’d ever felt around his parents.

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’, “I’m going to my apartment, where my boyfriends are waiting for me. I told you I didn’t want to go to college, not my fault you didn’t listen.”

“And what, you’re going to throw away your future like that?!” his father asked, looking absolutely flabbergastered. “You need your college degree, you can’t just throw away years of work and savings because you want to be rebellious!”

“No, you were the one who wanted me to go to college!” Virgil countered, ignoring the way his heart jumped in his chest when his father raised his voice. “I told you I wasn’t interested, but you never listened! Because what do I know, right? It’s not like this is my life we’re talking about or anything! And you can keep that money, I don’t need it -I have my own, and a job waiting just for me as soon as I settle in my new home.”

“You’re making a mistake,” his father warned, voice low and angry in a way that made Virgil’s stomach instinctively twist in fear. “Don’t think you’ll be able to just crawl back here for forgiveness when your little plan blows up.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not planning on it,” Virgil seethed, finally entering the car and starting the engine.

“Don’t you dare drive out of this driveway, young lady!” his mother shouted, slamming her hand on the car seat on Virgil’s right. “No daughter of mine will go waste her life with such bad influences!”

“Well, thank god I’m not your daughter then,” Virgil shot back, before pressing his foot over the accelerator and finally, finally leaving everything behind.

Once he reached a red light at an intersection, he let out a relieved laugh, resting his head on the steering wheel. Grinning, he slipped out his phone, typing out a quick text before taking the first turn towards his new life.

[RacoonMan] get ready to unload an entire car worth of things fuckers

[RacoonMan] im coming

[too-scared-to-do-this]

Insufferable

Chapter one - Strike a match and watch it burn

Sander’s sides fanfiction - ‘Off the Devil’s head’ spin-off (can be read as a stand-alone)

Wordcount: 1172

Ship: intrulogical

TW: cursing - a lot of cursing (this is Remus after all), thievery, angry man, chasing, Remus somewhat-objectifying people and shit-talking, second-hand embarrassment aaaaand I feel like that might be all. If anything pops up, do let me know :)

Summary of the whole story: This might have not been the brightest idea - steeling from a cart right in the fucking smack-dab-middle of the Square. But Remus never claimed his ideas were bright. Never said his words and actions were appropriate either. So how in all off goddamned hell did he find himself sprawled out on a giant comfortable throne instead of a cold and dark (and very drippy) prison cell - with guards actually guarding his safety instead of assuring his imprisonment - is completely beyond him.

Link to AO3 for those who prefer reading there ^^

------------------------------

Chapter one - Strike a match and watch it burn

This might have not been the brightest idea - steeling from a cart right in the fucking smack-dab-middle of the Square. But Remus never claimed his ideas were bright.

If they prevented him from starvation, they were more than perfect in his book. Although this might have been just a tad too stupid even for him. No, not stupid - daring. Because why else would he find himself in this goddamned idiotic situation; running at full speed and dodging stuck up towns-people left and right just to escape the angry cart-owner that’s gaining on him.

To hell with all this crowd! There’s literally no space to squeeze through! But they have no problem parting for the hurling grease-ball that’s flying after him. (Flying as flying - he’s stumbling from foot to foot breathing heavier than a dog in hot weather.)

And for a stupid reason even! Fucking apples!  Two fucking apples! The man wouldn’t even miss them! And it’s not like the town folk would mind. Yet, he apparently really, really does.  

So, guess what? This idea blows. And Rem is fully aware of this. But what else is he supposed to do but keep on dodging people and trying not to run over any poor kid in his way. Constantly checking behind his back to see if he lost the overly-heavy man.

Ah, to hell with pleasantries, call it what it is - the man was fat. Really, really fat. - Remus thought to himself. No matter how well his mum razed him, and how much he respects any body-tipe, this man just couldn’t be described any other way.

His head swiveled backwards, checking in on the now-barely shouting pig. A smirk stretched across his lips - he was a good stretch of path ahead of him and the cart-owner was kneeling over, panting hard. Good. Stupid idea, or not, he outran him. Now only to find a good hiding spot before he get’s caught by the gua-

Rem’s body collided with something. Something tall, hard and surprisingly really nice-smelling. He went flying backwards, butt hitting the ground harder than he expected. “Au…” he murmured rubbing his ass - not that the pain was that important at the moment.

His eyes blinked then focused on the pair of shoes standing still in front of him.

So what he ran into wasn’t a ‘what’ but a ‘who’ apparently. Eyes traveling up the fancy pants and suit, he took in the sheer height of the person standing in front of him. A very tall, very angular, very… lacking-emotional-expression-in-the-face person. Only the slight widening of his specks-hidden scarily-blue eyes was indication of any surprise.

Remus gulped. If it weren’t for the whole sitch he’s currently in, he might even let himself dwell on the fact that this someone is extremely hot. Not that he doesn’t let a few lusty thoughts cross his mind - that wouldn’t be Remus, if he didn’t. And as always, thoughts are accompanied with wide grins and words that spill out without control.

“Jesus Christ, if I wasn’t fleeing, I’d kiss you right here on the spot.” Well, no amount of mental slapping will take back that stupid sentence. His grin widens involuntarily - a nervous tick. Hops up from the ground. “But as you can see, handsome, I’m on the run.” Fucking hell, he winked. He actually winked. “So, I’ll be on my way.” Remus tips an imaginary hat, bowing slightly and steppes aside to leave.

Just then the crowd behind him parts again and the fat-ball stumbles into view. “Your majesty! Be careful, that’s the thief!”

Rem’s eyes widen at the thought; corners of his mouth pulling painfully. Your majesty?!

He looks the guy up and down quickly once again and it all comes crashing down. The shoes, the suit, even the fancy hair and glasses. Jesus fucking Christ, Rem just rammed into the king.

He gulped, trying to step around the him, but there was no way of getting out of the circle of citizens that has formed. Their majesty’s eyes were trained on him, the slight surprise in them fully gone. There was literally nothing that could give away his intentions - not a single tick of the muscle.

Remus was so, so screwed.

Well, prison, here he comes again. Those long nights of dripping water from god knows where and the awful company of his own suffocating thoughts. Back then he had the dragon-witch to talk with during the nights at least, now though… Matilde was far too far away by this point - fleeing from the forest because of idiots that attacked her with torches. Not that she couldn’t defend herself - that creature was the most powerful woman Rem has ever met - but she just didn’t want to waste her energy. “Better hidden and at peace, then discovered and at war.” she used to say.

That’s exactly what Rem was living by - camping out in her old house, rotating the surrounding kingdoms to steel from. Ya know, to keep himself alive out there. Yet here he was - discovered and at fucking war. He was going to prison, and that was that. No escape this time.

But then the king did something neither of them expected. His gorgeous blue eyes blinked and then he just so slightly moved aside, giving Remus the opening he needed to run. He gaped at the King for about a second, before his loud head returned back to earth. An internally embarrassing seductive wink later he was running again. Fleeing the outraged and surprised gazes. Headed for the woods. Mentally thanking the crazy king for saving his ass. Mind full of images of extremely piercing cold blue eyes.

-

And far behind his back the king pretended to be showed out of the way the moment the thief pushed past him. He on his own had no idea why he had done this. But the angry barking of Jeff the cart-owner and questioning of his loyal subjects weren’t the suitable surroundings to figure this out.

Instead, he reassured his guards that, indeed, he was fine and stood up straight again.

“He ran off!!” Jeff sneered angrily, still panting. “Your majesty, he’s running away with my apples! Do something!”

Coral, the head guard, turned to her king. “Should we go after him?” The rest of her crew immediately stiffened and got ready to move.

But Logan just held up his hand. He looked over his shoulder, searching for the wild green-haired hurricane that just tore through his peaceful kingdom. When he couldn’t see him, he announced: “There’s no need. He’s gotten too far by now. The castle will compensate for your loss, Jeff.” he nodded towards the heavy-boned bolding young man.

“Thank you, my king! You truly are the best!”

But the annoying citizen was already forgotten. Logan gave a curt nod, turned, and with the five guards following him, left. Walking the path which he came from - the one leading alongside the thick dark forest back to his castle.

-------------------------------

I feel like “He’s running away with my apples” is such a stupidly hilarious sentence XD 

Aaaaanyways! I know said any day now, and not today, but I caught the Writing bug and now it’s midnight and here we are. 

How have you been? I’ve been AWOL for a while I guess. But I’m back. With full force and new and fresh interest in writing this thing! I just hope I’ll do Rem’s character justice. 

Do let me know how you like it so far! And, you know I love speculations and theories - so bring them on! Maybe they’ll end up in the story because I like them enough XD

See ya next chap! <3

[chlorue]

ours

summary: robbe has been wallowing on his couch for the last year because his boyfriend had moved out of europe for art. zoe, and her wonderful roommate senses, came up with a little surprise. or the long distance surprise no one asked for.

WORD COUNT: 1509

Long distance relationships. That was something Robbe never thought he’d have to deal with. But, here he was 1 year after Sander moved out of Europe for art. Sitting on his couch, wallowing into his third cup of coffee. Sander hadn’t called him all week, and now Robbe was getting worried about everything in their relationship. 

He sat there until Zoe walked in and snatched his headphones off his head. “Okay, now this is reaching a new low, even for you, love.” Zoe sat on the couch next to him, taking the coffee out of his hand and putting both on the coffee table. “He’s probably very busy right now, with exams and new pieces and he hasn’t been able to contact you,” Zoe looked at him and patted his head before continuing, “Don’t start worrying about whether or not he loves you.”

“Who said I was worrying about that?” He scowled at her, slumping further into the couch. 

“You, last night at 3 am, while crying to me and Milan.” She was right. He was worrying about it so much. He broke down in front of his best friends and now here he was, worrying even more because Sander didn’t even send him a goodmorning text. It was either Sander was dead or didn’t love him anymore and was trying to spare his feelings. 

“Alright babe,” Zoe straightened her posture and pulled Robbe up with her. “As your best friend, I am forcing you to leave this flat today, I already told Jens and the rest to come pick you and me up and we’re going to go have fun on this beautiful Saturday.” 

Robbe opened his mouth to protest and Zoe caught him off. “You’re not allowed to say no.” Her face fell to the most serious Zoe had ever gotten with him. Robbe had never been afraid of Zoe before, but now he was getting off the couch in fear. 

A few moments later Robbe was standing outside and waiting for his best friend to skate up to the building. Jens finally showed up noticing how grumpy Robbe was, whispered something in Zoe’s ear and then turned to his friend. “So, it seems you’ve finally come out of the house. You’re acting like Sander just tore your heart into pieces a year ago. Dude, he’s not dead, he texted m-” He was about his sentence before Zoe slammed a hand over his mouth.

Robbe’s eyes wided. “He texted you?’ Robbe felt the tears already coming. He was sure there was definitely something wrong in their relationship to text Jens before even talking to Robbe. Jens immediately tried to defend his statement before Zoe pulled on his arm, pushing him over to a corner where Robbe couldn’t hear them.

“Oh, my god, are stupid?” Zoe nipped him in the back of the head slightly. “You can’t say shit like that, or else the entire plan is gonna fall apart. Robbe is gonna get sad and go back to slumping on our couch, and his boyfriend is going to be really sad we ruined the surprise. So, just shut up about talking to Sander.” Zoe explained angrily.

“Yes ma’am.” Jens pouted and Zoe pulled them back over to the small 17 year old boy who was busy looking at his phone. 

“Robbe! What did I say about texting Sander?” Zoe snatched the phone from his hands looking at the last 5 texts Robbe had sent to his boyfriend. Zoe groaned and shoved her friend's phone into her back pocket. He yelled protest, but she cut him off. “Our minds will not be plagued with love and boyfriends and other random declarations of love. Today, my two friends is about structure and fun and being friends.” She smiled and grabbed Robbe’s wrist and pulled him down the street. 

-

Their first stop was the local grocery store. Apparently Zoe needed new bread and pickles, even thought Robbe could’ve sworn they had bread and nobody in the flat ate pickles. But he went along because she had in her possession the only thing that really got Robbe through this whole long distance relationship. Zoe stuck a bunch other snacks into the cart as Jens pushed it and looked at his phone. 

“Zoe, we’re pretty much stocked back at the flat,” he started. “We don’t need this much food.” He groaned, just kind of wanting the day to be over.

“Actually, some of this stuff is for Senne’s place, he asked me to get a few things sorry.” She smiled sweetly at him and continued to shop. 

Finally, after 20 minutes and 56 dollars spent, they were finally back in the brisk air of Antwerp. Robbe wasn’t having any fun and was very worried that Sander might’ve texted and just broke off their entire relationship. 

Zoe patted his head and pulled him down the street once again. They never seemed to be heading in a certain direction and Robbe would notice Zoe whisper into Jens ear every now and again. Robbe might’ve cared if was actually in a good mood today, but seeming as he wasn’t, he zoned out and just let Zoe and Jens lead them into unknown territory. 

The unknown territory started to get more familiar as they got closer to an even more familiar place. The bar. Their bar. The bar that over a year ago, they went on a date and the night was ruined by the attack. Robbe felt his stomach drop before asking, “Zoe, what the hell are we even doing here? It’s like 5 pm, you don’t drink this early.” Robbe sighed and she pushed him into the doorway. Standing in the bar were the rest of his friends, from Yasmina to Aaron. 

“We’re actually going to hang out with other people that aren’t me and Zoe.” Jens laughed. Yasmina came up to him and handed him a glass and smiled.

“It’s good to see you out of the house again,” She patted his head. “Now, try to enjoy yourself.” She smiled and moved away to go talk to Zoe. 

“Robbe!” Amber’s voice rang through Robbe’s ears. He looked up to see her holding a glass of pink liquid and Aaron on her shoulder. “It’s good to see you! What are you wearing?” She giggled and pointed to his outfit. 

“What I always wear?” Robbe gave her a puzzled look. The same brown jacket, a black hoodie under and jeans, something basic. 

“I told you he’d wear something so simple, are you sure this going to work?” She tried to whisper to her boyfriend who snickered back. “Well anyway, I hope you have fun tonight.” She winked and walked off. 

About an hour later, Robbe sat alone at the bar swishing around a beer. Suddenly all of the lights in the room went away and he felt cold hands on his face. “Zoe, what the fuck?!” 

“Keep your eyes closed, we have a surprise!” She turned Robbe’s body to face a different direction before uncovering his eyes.

Standing in front of him was a tall figure with stupid Doc Martens, a leather, and brown hair and green eyes. His first instinct upon seeing his boyfriend was to just shout, “You asshole!” He was in utter shock. Sander wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be in America studying stupid art. Robbe got over his shock and ran to hug his boyfriend. 

Sander took him into his arms with great warmth. A warmth Robbe had missed greatly. So much. He smelled the same. He felt the same. And finally, when their lips touched, he tasted the same. God, how Robbe missed the feeling of his boyfriend. It was the longest, weirdest year he had ever experienced. 

“What? How? When?” Robbe could feel himself rambling. He looked at every inch of Sander’s face just to make sure he wasn’t hurt. It was probably a lot to get here. “How in the hell are you here?” “That is all thanks to us!” Jens appeared next to him. 

“Yeah, we planned this whole thing!” Zoe appeared at his other side. 

“They planned the scavenger hunt and the party and nothing else, I called Zoe like 2 months ago asking her to help plan the surprise.” Sander giggled. “She actually had this whole scavenger hunt planned like off the top of her head!”

“We live with Milan, I literally got the idea from him during Christmas!” She kissed Robbe’s cheek. “Well, we’ll let Sander explain the whole thing to you, have fun you two!” She pulled Jens away from them and left the two in their comfortable silence.

“I’ve been in Antwerp for about 2 weeks, I barely talked to you because I knew I spill it as soon we got deep into conversation, so sorry about that!” He kissed Robbe’s forehead. 

“Idiot, I’m just glad you’re here, how long are you staying?” Robbe leaned back into their hug. 

“2 months, I’m doing some online stuff and I miss my family and you.” He kissed Robbe’s hair. 

“Good.”

[emy-loves-you]

Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 2

Breakfast and Disney

Virgil decides to text Roman again. They have a fun argument over Disney movies.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and sex, vulgar language, and openly trans character

Chapter 1 | Masterlist | Chapter 3

Virgil woke up to a splitting headache. He immediately screwed his eyes shut, hands going to grip his hair. The lights were too bright, his throat was too dry, and he’s pretty sure there’s someone sleeping next to him. What the hell happened?

The memories hit him like a freight train. Arriving late to the party, meeting Mr. Sanders (“Call me Thomas,” he had said, flashing his perfect smile with his perfect teeth and perfect lips), and signing him up as a potential producer. Technically they had enough money and popularity to keep their band afloat without a producer, but to get such an influential man on their team was a dream come true. They got back to Janus’ house at around 2 AM, where they promptly got wasted. Virgil could still taste whatever expensive shit Janus had grabbed from the cellar. Speaking of Janus...

Virgil slowly opened his eyes, nearly hissing at the light shining through the giant windows. He looked over from his spot on the floor (how did he get there?) and found Janus and Remus cuddling together, a bottle of wine nestled between them. Remus was drooling, and Virgil noticed multiple hickeys along Janus’ throat. Virgil smiled as he got up. His two friends and essentially brothers had an odd relationship, but Virgil respected it. It was obvious that they were in love, but they didn’t want to put a label on it yet. They had offered for Virgil to join them, but he had declined. While Virgil did care for the other two deeply, he didn’t share the same spark that they did.

Virgil eventually found his way to the bathroom, quickly losing whatever remained in his stomach. He sat on the cold tile, waiting for the nausea to pass. He hadn’t drank that much in a long time. He should ask Janus if he can bring one of those bottles home. He’ll probably bitch for a few days (Janus liked to use alcohol as an excuse for Virgil to come over) but he’ll get over it.

Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz

Virgil grabbed his phone out of his jacket pocket (why was he still wearing his jacket?) and turned off his 10 AM alarm. He almost always woke up before his alarm went off, but his anxiety made him use the alarm anyways. He quickly checked for any new messages, and noticed his rather lackluster response to Roman helping him yesterday. He helped me get through an anxiety attack, and all I had to say was ‘thank you?’ The least I could do is apologize. Before his hungover brain could remind him of how stupid of an idea that was, he had already sent a text.

V- (10:02 AM) Hey, I just wanted to apologize for last night. You ended up being right, my friend was just running late. I ended up having a pretty good time, all things considered. Thanks for helping me through that attack. It meant a lot to me. I was still a little disoriented last night so I wasn’t wanting to type much. Again, thank you for helping a stranger. You're a good guy, Princey.

Before Virgil could second-guess himself, he locked his phone and got up. He quickly took some painkillers and went to find some form of a healthy breakfast. Virgil had always been self-conscious of how he looked, so he tended to eat light and work out when possible. He ended up finding enough eggs and veggies to make a few omelets. Virgil decided to make his last, knowing that Remus and Janus would be awake before the first one was finished. Sure enough, as soon as the first omelet was ready to be flipped, Remus was skipping into the kitchen, dragging a disgruntled Janus behind him. How that man had any energy this early in the morning with a hangover was a mystery to Virgil. He quickly served Remus his omelet, who proceeded to pour an obscene amount of salt onto it. Virgil cringed as he turned to make Janus’ omelet. He tuned out their conversation until he heard his name.

“Well I think Virgil should sleep with him-”

Virgil whipped around so fast that he almost burned himself on the stove. “WHAT?!?”

Remus scoffed, twirling his fork between his fingers. “While Tomathy did seem pretty convinced last night, a little bit of extra persuasion never hurt anybody. While I would normally volunteer, I don’t think that man has ever seen a vagina, much less wants to fuck one. And he seemed to be afraid of Janny over here, so you’re it, pumpkin.”

Virgil blushed, turning back to omelet making. Janus sighed, “Remus, darling, I don’t believe that Mr. Sanders requires any more... incentive. However, if Virgil decided to pursue that type of relationship with him... I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Virgil let out a squeak, his face even redder as he gave Janus his food. Remus laughed. “What’s the matter, Veevee? Cat got your dick? Even if you don’t sleep with Mr. Business, you should still get around more! Sex is good for the soul.”

Virgil flipped him off, resulting in another chuckle. He turned back to make his own omelet. Sure, Virgil hadn’t been in a relationship since, well, ever, but that wasn’t his fault! He just hadn’t found the right person yet, that’s all! Besides, Virgil didn’t do one night stands. The idea of sleeping with a stranger left a knot in his stomach.

By the time Virgil sat down with his omelet, Remus was already done. He started bouncing around ideas for new songs, with Virgil or Janus occasionally adding their own ideas.

Bzzz

Virgil glanced at his phone, seeing that he had a response from Roman. He went to unlock his phone.

“Who’s that?”

Virgil jumped, staring face-to-face with Janus. He could see where Janus’ question was coming from, since before now Virgil only ever texted Janus and Remus. “Just a random guy that I accidentally texted last night. I didn’t really apologize well last night, so I texted him again earlier today.” Janus and Remus both smirked. "I swear to god, whatever you two are thinking, it's wrong."

Janus tilted his head, looking like an innocent little angel (innocent my ass). "Whatever would we be thinking about, Virgil?" He turned to look at Remus. "Is this why Virgil found the idea of sleeping with Mr. Sanders so scandalous?" Virgil groaned, hoping that his meal would distract him from the cackling idiots in front of him.

By the time Virgil (finally) got home, wine tucked under one arm, he had almost forgotten about Roman's text. He quickly checked it, almost snorting at what he saw.

R-(10:35 AM) What can I say except you're welcome! Seriously, it was no problem. I'm happy that you had a good time at the party. It was a pleasure to help, storm cloud.

Virgil was halfway through typing a response before he stopped. Technically he could leave the text as it is and move on like nothing happened. On the other hand, Roman seemed like a fun guy to talk to. Surely he would tell Virgil if he wanted to stop talking to him, right? He ended up sending the text anyways, wanting to see if Roman would respond.

V- (11:45 AM) Really, you're gonna start your text with a Moana reference? You really are a Disney Prince, aren't ya Princey? And what's with the 'storm cloud' anyway?

Virgil expected a lot of things. Roman could block his number. He could poke fun at Virgil's anxiety attack from last night. He could take forever to respond, just to ask Virgil to never text him again. What Virgil didn't expect, however, was for an immediate, yet passionate, response.

R- (11:46 AM) DISNEY IS A BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE THAT WILL ALWAYS HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART.

R- (11:46 AM) Sorry, I got a little emotional I REALLY like Disney. And the reason I called you 'storm cloud' is because you didn't give me another name to call you, storm cloud. And I will take the Disney prince jab as a complement.

Virgil laughed, already typing out a response. He probably shouldn't be giving out his name to a near stranger, but he didn't think it would matter much. Virgil Storm was a nobody, a reject from the foster system. Sure, he was secretly singer/songwriter Anxiety, but Roman didn't need to know that.

V- (11:47 AM) Sorry, the name's Virgil, he/him pronouns. And I didn't mean it as a jab, Disney's got a place in my heart too.

R- (11:48 AM) REALLY!?!? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE? DISNEY CLASSICS OR PIXAR? FAVORITE DISNEY PRINCESS? THESE ARE ALL VERY IMPORTANT

V- (11:48 AM) Um, okay. Nightmare Before Christmas, Classics, and does Elsa count as a Disney Princess?

R- (11:49 AM) Nope. Elsa is QUEEN. WE WILL NOT SLANDER SUCH A GODDESS!

V- (11:49 AM) Geez, let it go, Princey

R- (11:49 AM) N(ice) one

V- (11:49 AM) Then I've gotta go with Cinderella. She decided to make one slightly bad decision last her entire life, as opposed to other princesses making a decision that immediately through their lives away. Though that is what makes the movie interesting.

R- (11:50 AM) What do you mean?

V- (11:50 AM) Disney is known for being pure and innocent, but it contains tons of sinister undertones.

R- (11:50 AM) Not all of them!

V- (11:50 AM) Let's play a game then, we each pick a movie and describe the message that we believe the audience was supposed to receive.

R- (11:51 AM) Alrighty then, I'll go first. Cinderella: Believe in your dreams and, one day, they will come true.

V- (11:51 AM) Sure, just literally wait around your entire life, subjecting yourself to the cruelty of your ungrateful ignorant family members, until some MAGICAL fairy comes along to save you. Don't take action yourself. Not to mention man can't memorize the face of a woman they've been dancing around with for hours, they have to rely on the shoe, ergo men are idiots.

R- (11:52 AM) He was a very busy prince! He had a lot on his mind.

V- (11:52 AM) Fine, what do you think about Snow White?

R- (11:52 AM) Okay. So this time the message is to NOT do what the Princess did: Don't accept random fruit from strangers.

V- (11:53 AM) The bigger message is to just run away from your problems and become a housekeeper for 7 men. Not to mention a Prince comes out of nowhere and plants a kiss on a seemingly sleeping girl? I guess consent isn't really that important?

R- (11:54 AM) He thought she was DEAD! It was a farewell kiss!

R- (11:54 AM) Okay, how about Peter Pan. Don't let your childhood spirit ever die.

V- (11:55 AM) Also it's totally fine to believe a random stranger when they tell you to jump out a window after they've broken into your house. But I guess that's how your whole being would die.

R- (11:55 AM) COME ON! Can you REALLY look down so harshly on these movies?!?

V- (11:55 AM) I still like them! There's just some darker messages that we don't first see.

R- (11:56 AM) Bambi

V- (11:56 AM) Man is dangerous

R- (11:56 AM) Pocahontas

V- (11:56 AM) White man is dangerous

R- (11:56 AM) SLEEPING BEAUTY

V- (11:56 AM) Well now we’re back to the lack of consent with sleeping women

R- (11:56 AM) IT WAS TO LIFT A CURSE!!

V- (11:57 AM) Am I wrong?

R- (11:58 AM) …No, I suppose not. I guess there are darker aspects that I did not take into account. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean that those movies are intending on teaching such… immoral lessons.

V- (11:58 AM) And I never said that they were. That’s just my interpretation of them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

When 5 minutes passed with no response, Virgil deemed it the end of that conversation. He went to go take a shower (he still smelt like alcohol and vomit) and hopefully get some ideas for his next song. Maybe something about interpretations?

By the time Virgil was out of the shower and fully dressed, there was a new message on his phone. He went to check it and was surprised by what he saw.

R- (12:12 PM) Virgil, in the span of just 30 minutes, you have given me one of the most invigorating debates I have ever gone through. I would really like to have another one in the future. Would you like to join a group chat with me and my friends, Patton and Logan? I have a feeling that you would get along quite nicely. You are not obligated under any means, but I can see that we have the potential to be great friends. What d’ya say, storm cloud?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed!):

@bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 21)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Janus, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Janus, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Meanwhile, everyone else is trying to find a missing 15 year old, all with different pieces of the puzzle about where he is. It really is too bad that no one is answering their phones.

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned, explosions, car crashes (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 My Master Post

Emile’s car, of course, did not have a built-in button that would let him into the base’s outer gates like Remy’s would have. Instead, Remy had to get out of the car and put his face in front of the security camera. He waved, and someone must have seen and recognized him, because the gate swung open to let them through.

Remy climbed back into the car and Emile drove up towards what appeared to be an abandoned factory.

“Since you’re not an agent they’ll want us to go inside the shell building instead of down to the parking garage for security,” Remy told him.

Emile had never actually been to the base. He usually met with Logan at another location or sometimes Emile’s office and he met any patients in his office as well. Thus, he had absolutely no idea what parking garage his brother was talking about or where on Earth it could be, but he could figure out where Remy must want him to go because there was only one building in sight.

He drove down the driveway towards what looked like the main entrance of the “factory”.

“Weird,” Remy said as Emile pulled up in front of it. “There’s another car here.” They exchanged a glance.

Remy mumbled something that sounded like “damned kid,” under his breath. They were both scrambling to get out of the car the next moment. Remy went ahead of Emile because he knew more about this place, and also Emile would not have been able to stop him.

The door had been left slightly ajar and Emile could hear voices as they approached.

Emile heard Virgil���s voice (and thank god Remy was right about where he’d been going) say, “You know my dad?”

An unfamiliar voice responded with a shocked. “Remy’s dead?” which was right when Remy made it to the door.

Without missing a beat, Remy threw open the door and said, “Quit telling everyone I’m dead!” Now Emile loved a good animated movie reference usually, but today he couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

There were a few seconds of silence before the one figure he didn’t recognize on sight finished the quote by saying, “Sometimes I can still hear his voice.”

“Dad?” Virgil asked sounding all types of vulnerable and confused.

“Kid,” Remy said, “you are the bane of my existence.” He put his hands on his hips. “I’m dead for 5 minutes and you skip town?”

Emile watched Virgil’s face as he quickly adjusted to the fact that his father was not in fact dead, but simply an emotionally constipated idiot with a flair for dramatics. He narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, and where have you been, old man?”

“Running after you once the wrist tracker said you’d booked it 50 miles away by the time I knew you were missing! Which then stopped tracking!”

“Yeah, well, I threw it out a window because I thought you were dead, and I’m not stupid.”

“Well, your ‘lack’ of stupidity has made my life a living hell for the past few hours.”

“Right back at you not-dead dad!” Virgil shot back hands on his hips and very much mirroring his father with his sass.

Remy paused for a moment and then snorted a bit. “Come here pipsqueak. Your old man deserves a hug after you nearly gave him a heart attack.” Virgil still looked a bit sullen but went in for the hug anyway.

Virgil caught sight of Emile over Remy’s shoulder and drew back from the hug. “Uncle Emile,” he said, sounding relieved. “I tried to call you.”

Emile turned to glare at Remy.

“Oof,” Remy said. “Yeah, that one may have been my bad too.”

“I,” Logan interjected. By the look on his face, Emile could tell that his willingness to let Remy and Virgil have a moment was wearing thin, “also tried to call him.”

Remy just shrugged. “Yeah, well, Boss, someone drilled it into my head not to give out secret critical information on unsecured lines and I am definitely critical.”

Logan gave him an unimpressed look and Remy shrugged and winked at him after a moment. He dug the flash drive he’d stolen from Barbara out of his pocket and tossed it at Logan. “Oh, and also this.”

Logan caught it and raised an eyebrow at it. “What is this?”

“Enough information to want to kill me for it,” he paused. “Of course, that’s not a high bar considering she tried to kill me before I stole it.”

Logan put the flash drive in his chest pocket. “I’ll decide if I’m going to kill you after I look at what’s on this.”

“Fair enough,” Remy agreed.

“So, you’re a secret agent?” Virgil asked.

“Yep,” Remy confirmed. Virgil looked over at Emile.

“Don’t look at me,” Emile said. “I’m just a run of the mill psychiatrist.”

“Who gives therapy to secret agents,” Remy pointed out.

“Even secret agents need therapy sometimes,” Emile said, “and I already knew about the organization.”

Virgil turned back to his dad. “I’m mad at you,” he said.

“Ah,” Remy said. “Yeah…”

“Teach me to shoot a gun, and I’ll forgive you.”

“NO,” both Emile and the man he didn’t know said at once.

“Trust me,” the other man continued. Now that he looked closer, the man may have been slightly familiar, but Emile couldn’t quite place where he may have seen him before. “He doesn’t need to learn how to use a gun. He does just fine with a knife.”

Remy considered Virgil suspiciously for a few seconds at that odd comment. “What did you do, you little shit?”

“Remy,” the other man chastised.

“He’s heard a lot worse,” Remy waved him off. The other man frowned at him, but Remy just turned back to Virgil. “Now, what did you do?”

“I needed a ride,” said Virgil.

“What about a knife?”

“The knife… helped me get a ride.”

“Did you kidnap Patton at knife point?” Remy asked. Virgil just shrugged. “Kid!”

“And you allowed that to happen?” Logan asked the man Emile presumed was Patton.

“He wasn’t exactly scary,” Patton said.

Virgil looked almost affronted. “I was terrifying!”

“Sure, you were kiddo,” Patton said. Virgil pouted at him, undermining his own point.

“From what I understand, he also incapacitated one of Nelson’s men with pepper spray,” Logan interjected. He eyed Virgil. “We should have a conversation at some point in the future.”

“Logan,” Patton chided. “He’s 15.”

“I’m aware of his age,” Logan said.

Virgil looked at him. “Would you teach me how to use a gun?”

“Hey, if anyone is going to teach my child how to use a gun, it’s me,” Remy insisted.

“No one is teaching him how to use a gun,” Emile said. “He doesn’t even have his driver’s license yet.”

“If I agree to take drivers ed… then I can get a gun?” Virgil asked.

“Maybe,” Remy said.

“No!” Emile exclaimed.

“Okay,” Virgil said, completely ignoring Emile’s interjection, “but Janus is not allowed to teach me to drive after last time. He’s the one who told me the gas pedal was the break on that golf cart. I don’t want to crash another vehicle into a body of water.”

“Wow,” a new voice said from the door. Emile looked over to see a group of damp people walk into the building. Emile did not recognize four of them, but he did recognize the fifth. The speaker turned to Janus. “You must be cursed. Wish you would have told me before we used my car instead of Remus’s”

A woman in the group turned to Logan. “We found your kids,” she said.

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Part 22

[theredandwhitequeen]

3.06 Roswell New Mexico thoughts  Alex  Rosa Isobel Liz Michael Max Voice overs Pieces fit together Maria attacked and hit head Alex and the guy Symbol Do you believe in aliens…. How do we start a conversation  Forge a connection….. Machine turned on, suicidal bats Everybody at crashdown Alien mask jumped max, sheriff was at his place No sign of Kyle, kidnapped  Kyle is not dead Can change future Flash of light in desert Alien blast in desert Isobel with Maria  Mindscape Scariness and dirt Broken glass Maria in coma Can feel her Liz and Rosa Find Kyle, for Maria  Rosa gave necklace to Maria Powers go haywire for a second At Max’s- max has Lucky Active crime scene Liberal scum graffiti Destroyed Henry Iv part 2 Anything missing Max and Liz fighting Lucky upset Isobel Your mother said the alien would here you….. Max and Lucky and Liz House not crime scene Buried stuff in back yard, the stuff from early in season 3? Michael called, radio tower Fixed radio with telekinesis Radio tower Skies were clear Radio Let this guide the way Alien glass Kyle called for help Fried every tower in 20 mile radius Sanders  Suicidal bats Michael is funny SOS  Shovel The off brand lightsaber /alien glass sword Jones still in cave Know where to dig Our best bet is still the science…. Hit up Alex Alex Ramos Rabies shot just to be safe Text from Michael Rosa at crashdown -found Maria’s hat Over hearing sheriffs being assholes about Max, or the deputy was Powers going crazy Isobel - mindscape Trying to talk to Maria Mindscape attacking her Rosa  Liz and Max Using powers I don’t know how to act around you since yesterday….  Apologizes for hand printing Liz Check in with boss Isobel and Rosa Rosa’s powers are over welming her I think Mimi, was talking about you  Michael and Alex  Suicidal bats Bloody shovel nearby Powers Trying to protect Michael Cyber intelligence agent I didn’t say I wasn’t going to do anything…. Talk with actual words for once. Just talk, please Drives away Rosa and Isobel mindscape Just underneath the surface Picture of Rosa fell Rosa runs Michael, Sanders  My friend I assume that friend is Alex… I love Sanders Wants to protect Kyle and Maria Upset You can’t focus on what happened today Vampire bats Infrared  Three towers Good team If I follow that trail I find Kyle Samuel Cook, regiment Masked crusaders Everything electronic ruined Sheriff  Alex and Liz Machine broken Talking I would ask Kyle for advice… Nothing has stopped you before, nothing will stop you now The code Always tries to do the right thing It’s not always obvious… Alex has Samples for Kyle and shovel  Liz and Maria What would you see that I’m not Handprint on Maria’s head. Oh god Hospital, Rosa and Isobel All falling apart Life never gets easier, we just get stronger…. Talking about Noah Block out the noise  Music makes her calm I’m so dizzy. Quiet of the chaos Max and Liz  Did you try and heal Maria? Handprint I wasn’t prepared for today…. Is max still lying Alex at Deep Sky Testing  29.3% match Uncle aunt nephew other Rosa and Isobel Spinning around in circles Meat puppets The hole in the roof Michael  Looking for its receiver, left message for Alex  Found receiver  Ramos Ramos is Kyle’s uncle?  Hacked into Dod, hospital records, I love when Alex does this Terrorist ties Hefty bandage for rabies shot Pulled gun on Alex Liz, isobel and Rosa with Maria Mindscape Hiding spot on roof Found Maria’s memory Maria was awake Max  Radio went through window Case max asked for  Max wanted dna sample Kate Visions are genetically linked Max not max, it is Jones Liz knows Jones hurt Maria Maria knew He hurt her Isobel and Rosa know Jones goes after bad men, who have sword Puppy stood guard Killed people Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Why does lucky dog like Jones, does he have a connection?

You just left Alex with a gun pointed at him, boooooooooooooo

Alex is such a good hacker and I love him

Is Ramos Kyle’s uncle? Cousin? What?

Poor Maria, she was attacked by not Max and now we know why next episode will be a lot in the mindscape. I’m so excited.

Michael I love your brains, also Sanders you’re my favorite

Liz is brilliant and I love her

So where is Kyle? Who has Kyle? When will we see Kyle again?

So so intense.

1 episode without Kyle

2 without Alex

Have Rosa or Maria missed any?

[patriotsnet]

Why Is The Media Against Republicans

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-is-the-media-against-republicans/

Why Is The Media Against Republicans

Mcconnell And Co Are Playing As Dirty A Game As Possible In Their Quest To Fill Ginsburgs Seat Before The Election But You Wont Find That Story In Most News Coverage

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US Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell at a press conference at the US Capitol on September 22, 2020. McConnell said in a statement that the Senate would take up President Donald Trump’s nominee for the Supreme Court following the death of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

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The argument against confirming Donald Trump’s nominee to the Supreme Court before the inauguration is a Republican argument. They invented it, they enacted it, and they own it. That’s because it was Republicans, not Democrats, who changed the number of Supreme Court justices from nine to eight for 10 months in 2016, when a Democratic president was in the White House. It was Republicans who argued that no Supreme Court nominee should even be considered by the Senate in an election year. And it was Republicans who promised to block the confirmation of Hillary Clinton’s Supreme Court nominees in the event that she became president while Republicans retained control of the Senate.

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And that argument is simply untenable. We do not have a legitimate third branch of government if only one party gets to choose its members.

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Vaccine Advocacy From Hannity And Mcconnell Gets The Media Off Republicans’ Backs But Won’t Shift Public Sentiment

Sean Hannity, Mitch McConnell and Tucker Carlson

Amid a rising media furor over the steady stream of vaccine disparagement from GOP politicians and Fox News talking heads, a number of prominent Republicans spoke up in favor of vaccines early this week.

On Tuesday, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters, “shots need to get in everybody’s arm as rapidly as possible” and asked that people “ignore all of these other voices that are giving demonstrably bad advice.” House Minority Whip Rep. Steve Scalise of Louisiana, got the vaccine after months of delay and then publicly said, “there shouldn’t be any hesitancy over whether or not it’s safe and effective.” And Fox News host Sean Hannity, in a widely shared video, declared, it “absolutely makes sense for many Americans to get vaccinated.” This was treated in the press as an unequivocal endorsement, even though the use of the word “many” was clearly meant to let the Fox News viewers feel like he’s talking about other people getting vaccinated. 

Is this an exciting pivot among the GOP elites?  Are they abandoning the sociopathic strategy of sabotaging President Joe Biden’s anti-pandemic plan by encouraging their own followers to get sick? Are the millions of Republicans who keep telling pollsters they will never get that Democrat shot going to change their minds now? 

Ha ha ha, no.

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— Matthew Gertz July 20, 2021

The Technology 202: New Report Calls Conservative Claims Of Social Media Censorship ‘a Form Of Disinformation’

with Aaron Schaffer

A new report concludes that social networks aren’t systematically biased against conservatives, directly contradicting Republican claims that social media companies are censoring them. 

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Recent moves by Twitter and Facebook to suspend former president Donald Trump’s accounts in the wake of the violence at the Capitol are inflaming conservatives’ attacks on Silicon Valley. But New York University researchers today released a report stating claims of anti-conservative bias are “a form of disinformation: a falsehood with no reliable evidence to support it.” 

The report found there is no trustworthy large-scale data to support these claims, and even anecdotal examples that tech companies are biased against conservatives “crumble under close examination.” The report’s authors said, for instance, the companies’ suspensions of Trump were “reasonable” given his repeated violation of their terms of service — and if anything, the companies took a hands-off approach for a long time given Trump’s position.

The report also noted several data sets underscore the prominent place conservative influencers enjoy on social media. For instance, CrowdTangle data shows that right-leaning pages dominate the list of sources providing the most engaged-with posts containing links on Facebook. Conservative commentator Dan Bongino, for instance, far out-performed most major news organizations in the run-up to the 2020 election. 

In The Past The Gop Would Be Rallying Their Voters Against This Bill Their Failure To Do So Now Is Ominous

Mitch ?McConnell, Ted Cruz, Tucker Carlson and Ben Shapiro

With surprising haste for the U.S. Senate, in the early hours of Wednesday morning, just after passing a $1 trillion bipartisan infrastructure bill. And Democrats could not be more excited, as the blueprint covers a whole host of long-standing priorities, from fighting climate change to creating universal prekindergarten. The blueprint was largely written by Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont, who released a statement calling it “the most consequential piece of legislation for working people, the elderly, the children, the sick and the poor since FDR and the New Deal of the 1930s.”

Sanders isn’t putting that much spin on the ball.

While the bill fallls short of what is really needed to deal with climate change, it is still tremendously consequential legislation that will do a great deal not just to ameliorate economic inequalities, but, in doing so, likely reduce significant gender and racial inequality. It’s also a big political win for President Joe Biden. In other words, it is everything that Republicans hate. Worse for them, it’s packed full of benefits that boost the middle class, not just the working poor. Traditionally, such programs are much harder to claw back once Republicans gain power — as they’ve discovered in previous failed attempts to dismantle Social Security and Obamacare. 

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But that’s not really happening here. 

The Actual Reason Why Republicans And Their Media Are Discouraging People From Getting Vaccinated

Independent Media Institute

Dr. Jonathan Reiner, a CNN Medical Analyst, said last week, “A surprising amount of death will occur soon…” But why, when the deadly Delta variant is sweeping the world, are Republicans and their media warning people not to get vaccinated?

there’s always a reason

Dr. Anthony Fauci told Jake Tapper on CNN last Sunday, “I don’t have a really good reason why this is happening.”

But even if he can’t think of a reason why Republicans would trash talk vaccination and people would believe them, it’s definitely there.

Which is why it’s important to ask a couple of simple questions that all point to the actual reason why Republicans and their media are discouraging people from getting vaccinated:

1. Why did Trump get vaccinated in secret after Joe Biden won the election and his January 6th coup attempt failed?

2. Why are Fox “News” personalities discouraging people from getting vaccinated while refusing to say if they and the people they work with have been protected by vaccination?

3. Why was one of the biggest applause lines at CPAC: “They were hoping — the government was hoping — that they could sort of sucker 90% of the population into getting vaccinated and it isn’t happening!”

4. Why are Republican legislators in states around the country pushing laws that would “ban” private businesses from asking to see proof of vaccination status ?

Death is their electoral strategy.

Is there any other possible explanation?

So, what’s left?

Destroying Trust In The Media Science And Government Has Left America Vulnerable To Disaster

For America to minimize the damage from the current pandemic, the media must inform, science must innovate, and our government must administer like never before. Yet decades of politically-motivated attacks discrediting all three institutions, taken to a new level by President Trump, leave the American public in a vulnerable position.

jonmladd

Trump has consistently vilified the national media. When campaigning, he the media “absolute scum” and “totally dishonest people.” As president, he has news organizations “fake news” and “the enemy of the people” over and over. The examples are endless. Predictably, he has blamed the coronavirus crisis on the media, saying “We were very prepared. The only thing we weren’t prepared for was the media.”

Science has been another Trump target. He has gutted scientific expertise and administrative capacity in the executive branch, most notably failing to fill hundreds of vacancies in the Centers for Disease Control itself and disbanding the National Security Council’s taskforce on pandemics. During the coronavirus crisis, he has routinely disagreed with scientific experts, including, in the AP’s words, his “musing about injecting disinfectants into people .” This follows his earlier public advocacy for hydroxychloroquine as a COVID-19 treatment, also against leading scientists’ advice. Coupled with his flip-flopping on when to lift stay-at-home orders, the president has created confusion and endangered people.

Media Bias Against Conservatives Is Real And Part Of The Reason No One Trusts The News Now

Members of the media were shocked as he was supposedly revealed as incredibly anti-woman presidential candidate, perhaps even the most ever nominated by a major political party in the modern era. He had admitted that he reduced women to objects and the Democrats pounced, seeking to make him lose him the support of women and, in turn, the presidency.

I’m not talking about the media coverage of GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump and the “Access Hollywood” tape, but his predecessor, Mitt Romney.

His sin? Saying that he had “binders full of women” that he was looking at appointing to key positions were he elected president. Sure, it was an awkward way of stating a fairly innocuous fact about how elected executives begin their transition efforts — with resumes of candidates for every position under the sun —- well before an election is held. Yet, the media and commentators came for Mitt Romney and they did so with guns blazing, as he was portrayed as an anti-woman extremist… for making a concerted effort to hire women to serve in his administration as governor of Massachusetts.

There Is No Liberal Media Bias In Which News Stories Political Journalists Choose To Cover

1Florida State University, Tallahassee, FL 32306, USA.

2University of Virginia, Charlottesville, VA 22903, USA.

3Brigham Young University-Idaho, Rexburg, ID 83460, USA.

?*Corresponding author. Email: hans.hassellfsu.edu ; jh5akvirginia.edu

?† These authors contributed equally to this work.

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‘it’s Time To End This Forever War’ Biden Says Forces To Leave Afghanistan By 9/11

The enormous national anger generated by those attacks was also channeled by the administration toward the creation of the Department of Homeland Security, which was conceived to prevent any recurrence of attacks on such a massive scale. Arguments over that legislation consumed Congress through much of 2002 and became the fodder for campaign ads in that year’s midterms.

The same anger was also directed toward a resolution to use force, if needed, in dealing with security threats from the regime of Saddam Hussein in Iraq. That authorization passed Congress with bipartisan majorities in the fall of 2002, driven by administration claims that Saddam had “weapons of mass destruction.” It became law weeks before the midterm elections.

Once those elections were over, the Republicans in control of both chambers finally agreed to create an independent commission to seek answers about 9/11. Bush signed the legislation on Nov. 27, 2002.

The beginning was hobbled when the first chairman, former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, and vice chairman, former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell of Maine, decided not to continue. But a new chairman, former New Jersey Gov. Thomas Kean, and vice chairman, former Rep. Lee Hamilton of Indiana, filled the breach and performed to generally laudatory reviews.

Long memories

Top House Republican Opposes Bipartisan Commission To Investigate Capitol Riot

But McCarthy replied by opposing Katko’s product, and more than 80% of the other House Republicans did too. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., initially said he was keeping an open mind but then announced that he too was opposed. This makes it highly unlikely that 10 of McConnell’s GOP colleagues will be willing to add their votes to the Democrats’ and defeat a filibuster of the bill.

Republicans have argued that two Senate committees are already looking at the events of Jan. 6, as House panels have done as well. The Justice Department is pursuing cases against hundreds of individuals who were involved. Former President Donald Trump and others have said any commission ought to also be tasked to look at street protests and violence that took place in the aftermath of the police killing of George Floyd.

But with all that on the table, several Republicans have alluded to their concern about a new commission “dragging on” into 2022, the year of the next midterm elections. “A lot of our members … want to be moving forward,” said Sen. John Thune, R-S.D., the No. 2 Senate Republican toMcConnell. “Anything that gets us rehashing to 2020 elections is, I think, a day lost.”

Resistance even after 9/11

The Taliban were toppled but bin Laden escaped, and U.S. forces have been engaged there ever since. The troop numbers have declined in recent years, and President Biden has indicated that all combat troops will be out by this year’s anniversary of the 2001 attacks.

Opiniontrump And His Voters Are Drawn Together By A Shared Sense Of Defiance

Americans in general have begun to catch on: 66 percent of Americans believe that the media has a hard time separating fact from opinion and, according to a recent Gallup poll, 62 percent of the country believes that the press is biased one way or the other in their reporting.

So when CNN, NBC News, Fox News, or another outlet break a hard news story, there is a good chance that a large swathe of the public won’t view it as legitimate news.

And politicians, right and left, are taking advantage of this.

The entire ordeal is part of an ever-growing list of examples in which the media seemed to be biased, whether consciously or not, against Republicans.

Before Donald Trump, there was New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, who in 2014 accused the media of “dividing us” because they asked him about some protesters who had chanted “NYPD is the KKK” and . He also accused the media of McCarthyism when they dug into the personal life of an aide of his, who reportedly had a relationship with a convicted murderer. The mayor also publicly and privately accused Bloomberg News of being biased against him, since it is owned by his predecessor. However, de Blasio is not terribly popular within his own party, so Democrats in New York did not buy what he was selling.

The Media Has Entered The Republicans Pounce Stage Of Critical Race Theory

Now that polls show a majority of Americans oppose Critical Race Theory, the Democratic Party and their scribes in the legacy media have launched a rearguard action against parents — by casting them as the aggressors. As is true every time the Left misfires or overreaches, the media ignore the offense and focus on the popular backlash in a tactic popularly known as “Republicans pounce.”

Media coverage proves that CRT has entered the “Republicans pounce” stage. Witness the words of one Politico writer, who said on Thursday, “he right is hoping to capitalize on the grassroots angst over critical race theory and excite its base voters in next year’s midterms.” Chris Hayes, who has the unenviable position of competing directly with Tucker Carlson on MSNBC, agreed Thursday night that all the Republican Party’s “rhetorical fire has moved away from the deficit and on to some random, school superintendent in Maine after his district dared to denounce white supremacy after the murder of George Floyd.”

But why are grassroots Americans so filled with “angst”? Because they are intellectually deficient and, of course, racist, according to Vox.com.

“Conservatives have launched a growing disinformation campaign around the academic concept” of CRT. “It’s an attempt to push back against progress,” wrote Vox.com reporter Fabiola Cineas. The problem is that “Republicans … want to ban anti-racist teachings and trainings in classrooms and workplaces across the country.”

Trump Continues To Push Election Falsehoods Here’s Why That Matters

Republican opposition to the commission

Rice was featured in one of the very few congressional commissions ever to receive this level of attention. Most are created and live out their mission with little notice. Indeed, Congress has created nearly 150 commissions of various kinds in just the last 30 years, roughly five a year.

Some have a highly specific purpose, such as a commemoration. Others are more administrative, such as the five-member commission overseeing the disbursement of business loans during the early months of pandemic lockdown in 2020. Others have been wide-ranging and controversial, such as the one created to investigate synthetic opioid trafficking.

In the initial weeks after the Jan. 6 riot at the Capitol, the idea of an independent commission to probe the origins of the attack and the failures that let it happen seemed a no-brainer. It had broad support both in Congress and in public opinion polls. It still enjoys the latter, as about two-thirds of Americans indicate that they think an independent commission is needed. The idea has fared well — particularly when described as being “9/11 Commission style.”

Opiniona Guide For Frustrated Conservatives In The Age Of Trump

Conscious bias or not, such practices do not engender trust in the media amongst conservatives. They only reinforce the belief that the media seeks to defend their ideological allies on the left and persecute those on the right while claiming to be objective.

This idea that the media is made up of unselfconsciously liberal elites who don’t even recognize the biases they have against conservative policies and conservatives in general goes back decades, to when newsrooms were more or less homogenous in nearly every way. At first, conservatives fought back by founding their own magazines; after Watergate and in the midst of the Reagan administration and liberals’ contempt for him, organizations like the Media Research Center began cataloguing the myriad examples of biased coverage, both large and small.

And there was a lot to catalogue, from opinion pages heavily weighted in favor of liberals to reportage and analysis that looks a lot more like the opinion of the writers than unbiased coverage.

Despite Cries Of Censorship Conservatives Dominate Social Media

GOP-friendly voices far outweigh liberals in driving conversations on hot topics leading up to the election, a POLITICO analysis shows.

The Twitter app on a mobile phone | Matt Rourke/AP Photo

10/27/2020 01:38 PM EDT

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Republicans have turned alleged liberal bias in Silicon Valley into a major closing theme of the election cycle, hauling tech CEOs in for virtual grillings on Capitol Hill while President Donald Trump threatens legal punishment for companies that censor his supporters.

But a POLITICO analysis of millions of social media posts shows that conservatives still rule online.

Right-wing social media influencers, conservative media outlets and other GOP supporters dominate online discussions around two of the election’s hottest issues, the Black Lives Matter movement and voter fraud, according to the review of Facebook posts, Instagram feeds, Twitter messages and conversations on two popular message boards. And their lead isn’t close.

As racial protests engulfed the nation after George Floyd’s death, users shared the most-viral right-wing social media content more than 10 times as often as the most popular liberal posts, frequently associating the Black Lives Matter movement with violence and accusing Democrats like Joe Biden of supporting riots.

Politifact Va: No Republicans Didn’t Vote To Defund The Police

Rep. Bobby Scott speaks at a 2015 criminal justice forum.

Speaker: Bobby ScottStatement: “Every Republican in Congress voted to defund the police when they voted against the American Rescue Plan.”Date: July 12Setting: Twitter

In last fall’s campaigns, Republicans thundered often inaccurate charges that Democrats wanted to defund police departments.

U.S. Rep. Bobby Scott, D-Va., is flipping the script and saying that all congressional Republicans voted to defund police this year when they opposed a $1.9 trillion stimulus plan.

“Every Republican in Congress voted to defund police when they voted against the American Rescue Plan,” Scott tweeted on July 12.

Scott represents Virginia’s 3rd congressional district, stretching from Norfolk and parts of Chesapeake north through Newport News and west through Franklin.

His claim, echoing a Democratic talking point, melts under scrutiny. Here’s why.

The Facts

The term “defunding police” arose after the 2020 killing of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer. Many advocates say it does not mean abolishing police, but rather reallocating some of the money and the duties that have traditionally been handled by police departments.

Scott’s explanation

Barbera sent an NBC article noting that communities in at least 10 congressional districts represented by Republicans who opposed the bill are using some of its relief funds to help their police departments.

Our ruling

We rate Scott’s statement False.

Opinion:no The Media Isnt Fair It Gives Republicans A Pass

The right-wing media, willfully ignoring the press investigations into Tara Reade’s accusations, insist that former vice president Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic nominee, has not been treated similarly to accused conservative men . They have a point, but not the one they were trying to make.

arrow-right

Let’s start with the big picture: Right-wing groups persistently engage in conduct for which Republicans are not held to account. The latter are allowed to remain silent after instances of conduct with a strong stench of white nationalism, but pay no penalty for their quietude. Right-wing demonstrators at Michigan’s statehouse this week — angrily shouting, not social distancing, misogynistic in their message, some carrying Confederate garb — were not engaged in peaceful protest. This was a mob endangering the health of police officers and others seeking to intimidate democratic government. Some protesters compared Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer to Adolf Hitler and displayed Nazi symbols. Newsweek reported:

The media has adopted the approach that a pattern of sexual harassment claims over decades is not relevant because Trump has denied them, yet they want investigated the single assault claim against Biden. Biden responded in an interview and in a lengthy ; the media insists these things have to be investigated further. They do not ask Trump’s campaign why the president does not respond to questions. They do not ask Republicans about Carroll, Zervos or others.

Social Media: Is It Really Biased Against Us Republicans

Wednesday promises to be another stressful day for Facebook, Google and Twitter.

Their chief executives will be grilled by senators about whether social media companies abuse their power.

For Republicans, this is the opportunity they’ve been waiting for.

Two weeks ago, Twitter prevented people posting links to a critical New York Post investigation into Joe Biden.

It then apologised for failing to explain its reasoning before ditching a rule it had used to justify the action.

For many Republicans, this was the final straw – incontrovertible evidence that social media is biased against conservatives.

The accusation is that Silicon Valley is at its core liberal and a bad arbiter of what’s acceptable on its platforms.

In this case, Republicans like Senator Ted Cruz believed Twitter would have acted differently if the story had been about President Donald Trump.

Sobering Report Shows Hardening Attitudes Against Media

NEW YORK — The distrust many Americans feel toward the news media, caught up like much of the nation’s problems in the partisan divide, only seems to be getting worse.

That was the conclusion of a “sobering” study of attitudes toward the press conducted by Knight Foundation and Gallup and released Tuesday.

Nearly half of all Americans describe the news media as “very biased,” the survey found.

“That’s a bad thing for democracy,” said John Sands, director of learning and impact at the Knight Foundation. “Our concern is that when half of Americans have some sort of doubt about the veracity of the news they consume, it’s going to be impossible for our democracy to function.”

The study was conducted before the coronavirus lockdown and nationwide protests over the death of George Floyd.

Eight percent of respondents — the preponderance of them politically conservative — think that news media that they distrust are trying to ruin the country.

– Deal gives Atlanta company control of Anchorage TV news

The study found that 71% of Republicans have a “very” or “somewhat” unfavorable opinion of the news media, while 22% of Democrats feel the same way. Switch it around, and 54% of Democrats have a very favorable view of the media, and only 13% of Republicans feel the same way.

That divide has been documented before but only seems to be deepening, particularly among conservatives, Sands said.

In The Age Of Trump Media Bias Comes Into The Spotlight

Almost 20 years ago, after my first book, “,” came out, I made a lot of speeches, some of them to conservative organizations. The book was about liberal bias in the mainstream media. I had been a journalist at CBS News for 28 years and, so, it was a behind-the-scenes exposé about how the sausage was made, about how bias made its way into the news. 

I said that despite what many conservatives think, there was no conspiracy to slant the news in a liberal direction. I said that there were no secret meetings, no secret handshakes and salutes, that anchors such as CBS’s Dan Rather never went into a room with top lieutenants, locked the door, lowered the blinds, dimmed the lights and said, “OK, how are we going to screw those Republicans today?” 

It didn’t work that way, I said. Instead, bias was the result of groupthink. Put too many like-minded liberals in a newsroom and you’re going to get a liberal slant on the news.    

Liberal journalists, I said, live in a comfortable liberal bubble and don’t even necessarily believe their views are liberal. Instead, they believe they are moderate, mainstream and mainly reasonable views — unlike, of course, conservative views which, to them, are none of those things.

But what I wrote and spoke about then — mainly about how there was no conspiracy to inject bias into news stories — seems no longer to be true today. 

Pandering, it seems, is good for business.

Bias shows itself not only in what’s reported, but also in what’s ignored. 

Florida Republicans Move Against Social Media Companies

TALLAHASSEE — Concerned that social media companies were conspiring against conservatives, Florida Republicans sent a measure Thursday to Gov. Ron DeSantis that would punish online platforms that lawmakers assert discriminate against conservative thought.

The governor had urged lawmakers to deliver the legislation to his desk as part of a broader effort to regulate Big Tech companies — in how they collect and use information they harvest from consumers and in how social media platforms treat their users.

Republicans in Florida and elsewhere have accused the companies of censoring conservative thought on social media platforms by removing posts they consider inflammatory or using algorithms to reduce the visibility of posts that go against the grain of mainstream ideas.

With the ubiquity of social media, the sites have become modern-day public squares — where people share in the most trivial of matters but also in ideas and information that often are unvetted.

In recent years, social media companies have acted more aggressively in controlling the information posted on their platforms. In some cases, the companies have moved to delete posts over what they see as questionable veracity or their potential to stoke violence.

DeSantis is a strong ally of the former president, and the Republican governor is supporting hefty financial penalties against social media platforms that suspend the accounts of political candidates.

America Hates The Republicans And They Dont Know Why

@jonathanchait

Americans harbor certain deep-rooted impressions of the two parties, which have held for generations. Democrats are compassionate and generous, but spendthrift, dovish, and indulgent of crime and prone to subsidize poor people who don’t want to work. Republicans are strong on defense and crime, but too friendly to business and the rich. What is striking about the Republican government is how little effort it has made to push against, or even steer around, the unflattering elements of its brand. President Trump and his legislative partners have leaned into every ingrained prejudice the voters hold against them. They have acted as if none of their liabilities even exist.

That is not the approach Democrats have taken in office. Bill Clinton famously fashioned himself as a “New Democrat,” angering his base on crime and welfare and declaring the era of big government over. Barack Obama did not position himself quite so overtly against his party’s brand — which had recovered in part because of Clinton’s success — but he did take care to avoid confirming political stereotypes. Obama frequently invoked the importance of parenting and personal responsibility. He did not slash the defense budget, and took pains to woo Republican support for criminal-justice reform. Obama tried repeatedly to get Republicans to compromise on a deal to reduce the budget deficit. Whatever the merits of these policies, they reflect a grasp of the party’s innate liabilities.

Placing Some News Sources On The Political Spectrum

Here are a few examples of major news sources and their so-called “bias” based on ratings from AllSides  and the reported level of trust from partisan audiences from the Pew Research Center survey.

Note that much of these ratings are based on surveys of personal perceptions. Consider that these may be impacted by the hostile media effect, wherein “partisans perceive media coverage as unfairly biased against their side” . A three-decade retrospective on the hostile media effect. Mass Communication and Society, 18, 701-729. ).

The Capitol Siege: The Arrested And Their Stories

It would only be logical for that memory to inform the imagination of any Republican contemplating a similar independent commission to probe what happened on Jan. 6. The commission would likely look at various right-wing groups that were involved, including the Oath Keepers and the Proud Boys, some members of which have already been charged. The commission might also delve into the social media presence and influence of various white supremacists.

Moreover, just as the 9/11 Commission was expected to interview the current and preceding presidents, so might a new commission pursue testimony from Trump and some of his advisers, both official and otherwise, regarding their roles in the protest that wound up chasing members of Congress from both chambers into safe holding rooms underground.

House Minority Leader McCarthy was asked last week whether he would testify if a commission were created and called on him to discuss his conversations with Trump on Jan. 6.

“Sure,” McCarthy replied. “Next question.”

All this may soon be moot. If Senate Democrats are unable to secure 60 votes to overcome an expected filibuster of the House-passed bill, the measure will die and the questions to be asked will fall to existing congressional committees, federal prosecutors and the media. To some degree, all can at least claim to have the same goals and intentions as an independent commission might have.

The difference is the level of acceptance their findings are likely to have with the public.

[stillebesat]

White Lies (5/5)

Sanders Sides: Deceit, Virgil, Logan, Roman, Patton Sequel to Little Lies Blurb: Deceit has been stuck in his ‘role’ as Dilyn for almost a year now. It’s about time he changed that. Fic Type: Hurt/Comfort, Tiny!Sides Inspiration: From @yay-cats9‘s wonderful Fanart she did for Little Lies. <3 Again thank you for the artwork! I love it! Overall Fic Warnings: Deceit, Negative Self Talk, Panic/Anxiety Attacks, Manipulation talk, Kinda Imprisonment?

To Catch Up: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 

“Falsehood.”

Dee jumped, heart stuttering as Logey’s voice came from the doorway somewhere behind Virgil. Instinctively he tried to shove away from him and vanish from sight, but with Vee’s arms protectively holding Dee in place, he couldn’t go anywhere.

Trapped. 

Nononononono NO! 

Dee made a small noise of protest, flinching as soft footsteps moved closer. 

It was one thing to be pathetic in front of Virgil, the former Dark Side. 

It was completely different to show Log--

“Kiddo…” Patton whispered from just behind Vee.

A third shadowy figure appeared, highlighted by the light coming from the doorway. “We wouldn’t hate you, Dil.” Roman said.

To show the others how much of a weakling he’d become. Dee’s breath caught in his throat as he ducked his head against Virgil’s chest, taking refuge from everyone in the only place he could when he couldn’t just sync out to get away from them because he was still a freaking powerless child! 

Some Gatekeeper.

You’re pathetic. 

He hadn’t even heard the french doors open! How long had they been standing there listening--listening to him being--being--pathet--WAIT. Dee tensed, heart taking off like a hummingbird’s wings in his chest. Had the others seen him silence Vee? Had they watched him struggle to release him from his hold? What if they thought Dee had been purposely holding him captive! A long con that they walked in on, not knowing that Deceit had been trying to free Virgil. That he hadn’t meant to silence him! That it was an accid--

They’re gonna hate you for this. 

You Betrayed their trust. 

You can’t just silence the Big Four.

Monster. 

“Dee.” Virgil’s voice seemed to come from the end of a long tunnel. “Dee.” He felt fingers moving through his hair again. “Stop. Don’t--” 

S-s-stop? Stop?! How could he?! HE was DECEIT! He was the BAD guy and the others now KNEW it. He whimpered, struggling to draw air to speak. “I-I-I--” He couldn’t get the words out. He couldn’t!

They’ll hate you. 

Something pressed against his back, rubbing small circles there. “Kiddo. Kiddo please. You’re okay. You need to breathe. Can you breathe for us?” 

B-breathe? How would that help them not hate him? Dee squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers twisting into the fabric of Virigl’s hoodie so they wouldn’t accidentally grab at the air.

Yah that would be just grand if you silence them.  

They’ll hate you.

No matter what.

They will.

You can’t stop being you. 

“It’s okay, Dil--ah Dee? Dee.” Roman said as warm fingers trailed down his bare cheek, brushing at the tears that lingered there. 

Dil.

Dee flinched.

They only like you because you’ve been Dilyn.

They’ll never like Deceit.

Virgil’s arms tightened around him as Roey’s fingers paused, feather light on him. “You’re okay, my young Prince.” He soothed. 

Not okay.

Never okay.

Pathetic Gatekeeper.

Can’t even function properly without freaking out. 

Yet Dee found himself leaning into Roman’s warm palm, his hands frozen in Virgil’s hoodie. “I-I-I-” 

“Deceit.” Logan said in his usual calm tones, using Dee’s title like it was the most natural thing in the world after a year of calling him Dilyn. He placed his fingers on his arm, gently tapping in an odd pattern repeating pattern of four, seven, then eight. “You are safe with us. You are not in any danger.”

Yet. 

“Just breathe for now. Don’t try and speak just yet.” Anxiety huffed, again running his fingers through Dee’s hair. “Trust me, I know how this works.” 

“We can wait, kiddo.”

“Until you are calmer.”

“Take your time, Dil--Dee.”

“You just need to breathe for us.” Patton said, continuing to rub his back. “Breathe.” 

Breathe. They just wanted him to breathe. Dee nodded, keeping his eyes shut as he shakily lifted one hand, disrupting Logan’s tapping on his arm, to grab onto Roman’s finger’s, clinging to them like a drowning man clinging to a fraying string.  Breathe. Okay… Okay…how?  

You forgot how to breathe? 

Some Gatekeeper.

Can’t even breathe properly.

“Sometimes it helps to focus on something else.” Virgil whispered, rocking him back and forth, continuing to hold him close with one arm, while the other hand played with his hair. “Like...I don’t know...can you--do you taste something?” 

Taste? How could tasting anything help him breathe?! What sort of stupid quest-- Dee swallowed, tongue flickering out to his lips and the salty flavor coating them as Logan placed a steadying hand on his leg, just resting it there. “T-t-tears” He managed to whisper. 

“Okay.” Vee squeezed him, giving a comforting pressure all around. “That’s...well the tears aren’t good, but it’s good you can taste them.“ He exhaled. “What about two things you smell?” 

Smell? Dee drew in a shaky breath through his nose. It was--it was...“La-La-Lav.” 

“Lavender? From my hoodie?”  

He nodded, breath hitching. “Mmmm.” He buried his face deeper into Virgil’s clothes. “Mint.” He mumbled.  

“Oh!” Patton gasped, pausing in rubbing Deceit’s back. “I get it.” He whispered

That made one of them, because Dee didn’t see how this was supposed to help. 

“It makes sense Virgil’s clothes would smell so as both scents help to calm those who are feeling anxious.” Logan said, fingers again returning to tapping their four, seven, eight pattern on his leg.

“What about three things you hear, my young Prince?” Roman asked. “Can you tell us that?”

It was who he didn’t want to hear currently. Dee hunched his shoulders. It was easier to admit his insecurities when it was just him and Vee, but facing- “Y-you Three.” He whispered. It wasn’t easy. Obviously. He grimaced. “Pat…Lo…Ro.” And Vee...but Roey had only wanted him to say three.

“And are we causing you stress, Deceit? Being here?” Logan asked.

All movement from the others ceased and Dee couldn’t help but flinch again, his hand clutching tighter to Roman’s to keep him from pulling away. From leaving.

Pathetic.

Some Gatekeeper.

“Ye--na--n--ye-na” He couldn’t get either word out. He didn’t want them here, seeing him like this, but he didn’t exactly want them to leave either. He swallowed, throat burning as he turned his head to rest his scaled cheek against Vee’s hoodie, keeping his eyes squeezed shut as he dropped his other hand to Logey’s cooler one, wishing he had another arm to make sure Pat couldn’t leave either. “S-s-stay?” 

If you had more of a spine you could easily MAKE them stay with you. Just silence them. Take control. 

But he didn’t want to do that! He didn’t want to ruin the--the friendships he’d built with the others over the past year. 

“Aww, DeeDee.” Patton cooed, returning to rubbing small circles on his back. 

Dee flushed, ducking his head back against Virgil’s chest to hide how red his face must be.

And getting redder.

His breath caught, eyes nearly opening before he caught himself as Roman gently lifted Dee’s hand, pressing his lips to the back of it. “Of course, my young Prince. We’ll stay as long as you need us to. I promise.” 

Truth. 

The tightness in Dee’s chest faded, allowing him to draw air deeper into his lungs. They were going to stay. The Big Four wouldn’t leave him. Not even--not even---after--si--silencing--

“Four things you feel, Dee.” Virgil said, again running his fingers through Deceit’s hair, holding him close.

That was easier. He felt...he felt….surrounded. But in a good way. Everyone was there...for him. Wanting to help. He tightened his grip on Logey and Roey. “Pat--my back. Lo--leg. Ro...hand. You--ho-holding me.” 

“And when you’re ready, Deceit.” Logan rested his other hand on top of Dee’s. “Tell us, what are five things you can see?”

See? Dee squirmed, biting his lip.

Seeing would require opening his eyes.

Seeing would mean he--he’d see their faces. 

And that---that--

Some Gatekeeper.

Can’t even face your fears. 

Dee gritted his teeth, pulling his hands back to his chest, digging his fingers into the cloak Virgil had made for him. He could face them. HE COULD! 

Roey had said they wouldn’t leave.

Vee proved that, sticking around even after he’d been silenced, holding onto him without being forced to provide comfort. 

Looking at them shouldn’t change that. 

Until they find out what you did to Virgil. 

Until they remember you’re a DARK side. 

“It’s okay, DeeDee.” Pat said, reassuringly. 

Ro again stroked his cheek with his thumb. “We’re here for you.”

Are they?

Roey had promised.

Promises can be broken.

You know that.

“Bu-but---” Dee swallowed, eyelids fluttering as he leaned into Roman’s palm. “I--I just si-silenced--” 

The stroking stopped. “Silenced?”

“You used your ability?” Logan asked, the faintest of tremors to his voice as his hand twitched on Dee’s knee. “Up here?” 

“Kiddo, that’s not poss--” 

“It is.” 

Dee jerked at Vee’s steady voice, pulling free from Roman’s hand as his eyes flashed open to stare at the stormcloud on Virgil’s jacket. How coul--could he speak so calmly about being silenced! Dee could remember all too clearly the terror that had flashed across Anxiety’s face when his hands had slapped to his mouth. How the Shadows had sprung up in defense--

“But...How do you know?” Logan asked. 

Virgil shifted under him, shrugging one shoulder. “Dee silenced me, right before you guys showed up. Hands to the mouth and everything.”  

Patton made a soft noise of distress. “Nooooo.”

Here comes the rejection.

The hatred.

No one cares for Deceit. 

Dee curled up tighter, hiding as much as his burning face as he could. “Mm. sorry.” He mumbled. He didn’t want to be--be that sort of Deceit. The Bad Guy. He just wanted to...be himself...whatever himself was now--he didn’t know anymore.

Virgil dropped his hand from Dee’s hair to his hands, squeezing them. “It was--” He exhaled. “A shock for both of us. I wasn’t expecting it--I don’t think Dee was either...we--well I handled it...badly.”

Badly? Dee shook his head, looking up at Virgil frowning at the dark shadows under his eyes. Sure being attacked by the shadows hadn’t been fun. But he had been the one to stop listening to Vee when he said to stop. He was the one who pushed to continue trying to make him sound more like his adult self. “No.” 

Virigl raised an eyebrow. “No?” 

He nodded, eyes flickering to the other three as they shifted closer to him so they could see his face. “No. Not just you--I was...I pushed, I was--was--b-bad.” His bottom lip trembled. He’d been so desperate to be his old self that he hadn’t considered the consequences of his actions, of what he was asking. “And you just help and help and help some more, not...hate me.” He pulled one hand free from its place under Virgil’s and raised it--only semi surprised that Anxiety didn’t flinch at his movement, to rest his hand on his cheek. “You handle it good.”

Virgil had remained the level-headed one, working to comfort him despite his own distress while Dee---He was the one who’d---well...had a meltdown. 

Like the useless child you are. 

Some Gatekeeper. 

“So...I can assume.” Logan said, tilting his head. “That from the context given...Dee’s state of panic we found him in was from the...this...silencing that took place?” He asked, his fingers moving to tap in the four, seven, eight pattern again. 

“A silencing that shouldn’t have happened.” Roman mused, his eyes darting between Dee and Vee. “I mean--we proved his powers didn’t work on us months ago, Specs. That they only work while he’s in the subconscious with the Others.” 

Virgil shifted, though his hold remained steady on Dee as he drew in a breath. “I could be wrong, but I think….it’s because I began thinking of him as Deceit instead of Dilyn after I found him out here dressed in his old clothes.”

Huh? Dee looked down at his outfit--well the one Vee had made for him. The one that made him feel like himself for the first time in a long time. But that--how could--a change of clothes gave him his ability to silence back? That hardly made any sens--

“Of course!” Logan abruptly leaned forward, intently studying Dee’s clothes. “I can--Why did we not consider!?” 

Roman frowned. “Consider, Specs? Care to clue the rest of us in?”

Logan sat back, clearing his throat as he adjusted his tie. “We’ve all been concerned that Deceit’s stayed small far longer than the rest of us ever have...and with this new info.” He adjusted his glasses, the lens flashing in the faint light. “His unchanging state may be our fault.”

Deceit blinked, twisting to see Logan. Come again? Their fault? The Big Four had done nothing but help him for the past year! Keeping him safe and protected and his little state secret from the Others in the subconscious.

Patton made a noise in the back of his throat, fiddling with the edge of his hoodie as his hand paused on Dee’s back. “Our fault?” 

“Just think of it.” Logan gestured to all of them. “What did Roman say when he set the parameters for Deceit’s role as Dilyn a year ago?” 

Ro straightened, gesturing vaguely around the balcony. “Well, I said that he’s just a child in the mindscape. That he doesn’t have any particular funct--” He jerked. “Great Odin’s Eyepatch!” Roman turned to Logan. He jabbed his finger in the air. “No function. That’s what you’re getting at. We made Deceit--”  

Logan nodded. “Exactly. If Dilyn’s ‘role’ is to be a child and that he has no function in the mindscape, then there is no reason for him to grow or return to normal. Hence why Deceit--has remained how he is.”

“We didn’t let him be himself.” Patton whispered, pulling his hand back to grab onto the sleeves of his cat sweater. “In trying to make our lives easier while he was with us--we refused to let Deceit be himself.”

Truth. 

Dee sat up in Virgil’s arms, eyes wide. The solution--it was--could it really be that simple? Had they really prevented him from growing the entire time by--by having him take on this role?! 

“Kinda my thoughts.” Virgil mumbled, fidgeting in place. “Hence why I--I gave him a version of his outfit back. To help him...feel more like Deceit.” 

Deceit will rise. 

“So to fix this--” Roman snapped his fingers, grinning wide. “We just need to start treating you like Deceit again.” 

Dee stiffened, breath catching his throat. “Just like before?” He asked, hating how his voice trembled.

Back to being the Bad Guy.

“NO.” Virgil wrapped his arms protectively around Dee as he shook his head. “I mean...Yes to you being Deceit again, Dee. But No to just like before. I mean...we can’t--we need to--”

“Accept him?” Patton asked, tilting his head, eyes shimmering in the faint light. “All of him. Like we did for you?”

“Exactly.” 

Was it really that easy? Dee looked between all of them. Were they really wanting him to be...Deceit? “But--” He ducked his head. “I’ll be...bad again.” 

“Falsehood.” Logan said, gently lifting Dee’s chin back up to meet his eyes. “Overall Thomas is a good person, which means that you are too….there is no need to return to exactly how things were before in order for you to function for Thomas.”

“It would be silly to act like nothing’s changed between us.” Patton said, bouncing in place. “I mean...DeeDee can make cookies with me just as easily as Dilio did, even when you’re back to being an adult! We can still be FamILY.”

Family. 

The word had his stomach fluttering as chills rushed down his spine. Family. 

It was strange how---how desperately Dee wanted that word to apply to him too. To be included. To be wanted. To be part of a group. Part of the Family.

“It’s just a matter of figuring out what you want, Dee.” Virgil said, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. “You don’t have to be stagnant. I mean...I changed. You can too. Be whoever you want to be.”

“Of course. Which means to potentially help Deceit return to normal--” Logan took Dee’s hand, his own giving the slightest of tremors as he raised it to his mouth, maintaining eye contact as he did so. “When you are ready.” He said, a faint shimmer of fear flashing across his eyes as his breath ghosted over Dee’s finger tips. “You can silence me as per your duties as Self Preservation to keep Thomas safe, I will not hate you for doing so.”

Dee caught his breath, eyes going wide. He...he wouldn’t? Hate...him?

“Same here, Jekyll and Lied.” Roman said placing his hand over Logan’s, giving a seated bow to Dee. “Silence me as you will. I won’t hate you either for doing your job.”

“Me too!” Patton agreed with a tremulous smile, adding his hand to the others. 

“You already silenced me--but yah.” Virgil shrugged, placing his hand on top. “You can do it again, I guess.” 

Dee--Deceit lifted his blurry eyes from their hands, heart pounding in his chest hard enough he wouldn’t be surprised if it burst. “You’re...you’re sure?” He whispered.

It had been so long...so very long since he’d attempted to use his powers on them. Attempted to be...Deceit. He didn’t--want to hurt them. He didn’t even know if he could anymore...but the knowledge that they were willing to let him...meant a lot. 

They nodded, even Virgil tilted his head the barest of degrees.

“If we can be ourselves around you, Deceit.” Logan said. 

“Then there is no need for you to pretend any longer to be someone else for us.” Roman finished, giving him a wink. “We’ll work it out.”

“Cus that’s what FamILY does!” Patton said, tousling his hair. “Even though you look like a kid, we’ll do our best to treat you like an adult from here out. It will be our New Year’s Goal! Okay, DeeDee?” 

Deceit will rise. 

It wasn’t--wasn’t how he originally wanted to return--but this...this could work. To help him get back to normal. To be...Deceit again. 

Dee drew in a steadying breath, nodding. A new year. A new him. Hopefully working with the Big Four instead of against them.

“Five things I see.” He said softly, meeting everyone’s eyes as his small hand warmed in theirs. “Me with my Family.”

End.

Taglist in Reblog

[pduwd]

Room for two.

(This is the first time I write something so maybe it’s not so good, but I hope you like it! Happy VDS week💙).

"When you love someone, you open up your heart. When you love someone, you make room"

Their relationship has been amazing. It’s always Luc and Jens, Jens and Luc and the Belgian boy couldn’t love it  more than he did. But what if he had to make room for an (un)expected guest?

Jens' parents went to see their relatives for a week. They have not seen them in a long time and lived on a different city, so sometimes they stayed there, or they came to Jens’ house. Anyways, he didn’t feel like going this time. He had a lot of pressure thanks to the exams and he’s mentally and physically tired.

His mum saw all his effort so she kissed his forehead the night before the trip and told him that he could stay at home. They would go to see their family again on summer, so she preferred Jens at home resting. He knew he didn’t look like he cared too much about exams, and he didn’t. He’s one of the people that think one number can’t define how intelligent you are (and maybe he was also lazy, but that didn’t sound cool).

But this time, it was different. The reason: Mr Robbe “we need higher grades” IJzermans.

His best friend dragged him to the library almost every afternoon. In the beginning he was just making Robbe company, but he ended up studying because Robbe thought it was a good idea to start a grades competition. As much as Jens loved being lazy, he couldn’t say no to that. 

He knew Robbe would win because he’s a little genius, but Jens would never admit it out loud.

Besides winning or not the competition, Jens wanted to pass these exams to make all the precious time he wasted studying worth it.

He accepted his mum proposal, not before telling her to give his cousins hugs for him. He missed them so much, but he was tired and the idea of having his house for himself was tempting. It could only mean one thing, two if he let Aaron make the party he wanted to organize that weekend: Lucas could go to Antwerp and stay with him.

He just needed to ask their parents.

The morning they were going to leave he went to his mother. She was easier to convince, and he knew she loved Lucas. Sometimes more than she loved his own son, he thought, but that was not the point on that moment.

“Of course Lucas can stay! I would love to be here to say hello before leaving. Is he already coming?” Jens smiled thanks to his mother’s excitement. It made him think it was dumb to hide having a boyfriend for months because he was afraid. It was clear his mum loved Lucas with all her heart.

“No, he has class until Wednesday, so he’ll arrive on Wednesday morning I guess”. She made a pout and kissed his son’s forehead.

Before she left, she turned around and said “It’s sweet that you asked me, honey but it’s Lucas. He’s always welcome here” and then she added “besides, you both won’t make me a young grandmother so it’s fine”.  

“MUM, how can you say that? You know it’s not…” but his mum had already left, leaving a blushed Jens in the middle of the kitchen.

After that embarrassing moment, he started thinking about what they could do on those five days together. Five days with his boyfriend sounded like a dream. Living on different countries was annoying most of the times so having Lucas for five days was an incredible event. They could hang out with his friends.

Jens was usually the one traveling to see Lucas because his parents are more open on that aspect, so it was going to be nice having Lucas in Antwerp. There won’t be need of planning their dates six days before they happened: they would decide their plans day by day.

To any couple this could be dumb, but it made Jens chest feel warm and a huge smile appeared on his face. They could also hold each other every night until they fell asleep, he could see those beautiful oceans his Luc had for eyes as the first thing after waking up, they could watch some films together, shower together…he should probably stop thinking about how it would feel to have a shower with his boyfriend if he wanted to arrive at time to his exam.

Everything sounded like a dream, just if we ignored a little detail: Killian, or how he liked to call him, Kill since he always killed his moments with Lucas. It pissed Jens off when Lucas refused to go to Antwerp if his little cat wasn’t allowed to go with him.

It might sound a bit stupid, being jealous of a cat. But if he was honest, it wasn’t his fault that the little demon hated him and just wanted Luc for himself. Jens saved his life when they picked him on the street and hate was the payment he received.

Worst part of the story? Lucas was always on Killian’s side just because “Baby, don’t you see he suffered so much and now he needs extra love to make up for all he didn’t receive?”.

Jens just wanted to scream “what about me needing cuddles and affection?” but he was aware of how childish it would sound. Some thoughts were better inside his mind. At this point, he accepted that he needed to share Lucas’ love those five days.

--------------------------------------------------

Wednesday arrived, and with it Jens last exam and Lucas to Antwerp. For some reason, Lucas’ train arrived earlier than expected so Jens couldn’t go to the train station as he was still waiting to do his exam. Luckily for them, Sander offered to pick him up, so Jens gave him the keys of his house to let Lucas luggage there.

He should tell him some embarrassing stories of Robbe to thank him later.

As Lucas and Sander were together and Jens and Robbe too, they decided to spend the whole day together. Sander needed some help with a photography project, so they agreed on giving him a hand.

After having lunch, they went to the skate park. While they were practicing a bit, Sander took all the pictures he needed but, at some point all of them ended up exhausted and went home.

--------------------------------------------------

Jens loved his friends, but he was glad to finally have time with just his boyfriend. Lucas was unpacking when he felt a pair of arms holding him from the back. Jens kissed his cheek. “so…”

“So…” Lucas replied. “What would you like to have for dinner? We can cook something together”.

Lucas snorted and turned around, but not putting any distance between them “Baby, that would be so cute if we ignore the fact that we both suck at cooking. And I appreciate your parents a lot to make them hate me for burning or letting you burn their precious kitchen” and then he kisses Jens’ nose, a gesture that made Jens blush and go shy.

“You might be right there. So, we could call somewhere to get food?”

“That’s actually the cleverest idea you’ve ever had”. Jens frowned but then a smirk appeared on his lips “oh, yeah? I might have a better idea in mind right now”. Lucas face lighted up and Jens couldn’t hold it anymore. Before Lucas could say anything, they were kissing.

It wasn’t something intense; they just wanted to feel each other’s lips slowly and enjoy the moment. There was no need to rush anything; they had all the time of the world until Sunday. Jens’ hands started caressing the sides of Lucas’ hips with so much care while Lucas’ were on Jens cheeks, pushing him near to his body.

At that moment, he realised how much he had missed Lucas. Thanks to his exams he didn’t have enough time to do everything he wanted, so he couldn’t travel to see him. But he was already here, his beautiful Lucas was here on his arms and there was no way he could let him go anytime soon.

Everything was perfect and their kiss was starting to be more needy and disorganised. Their bubble exploded when Jens felt an intense pain on his ankle.

“Fuck”, he said as he let Lucas’ lips go. His boyfriend gave him a worried look “Is everything alright? Did I bite you again? I’m sorry if-” but he was interrupted by a soft meow.

“That little devil of yours attacked me! My ankle hurts now and it’s his fault!” Jens said as he pouted. Lucas kissed his bad try of sad face.

“Awwwwh Jens, he came to say hello to you! Don’t say he hates you. Poor little thing, he has been alone on a foreign house the whole day”. Then he had to see how Lucas took Killian on his arms and gave him little kisses on his head. Jens was speechless. The image would be so cute if you ignore that demon, he couldn’t leave them alone for a second.

“Luc, my ankle is bleeding. I don’t think pain is the right way to show love…” he tried again, but Lucas kept playing with the cat.

“The little Lian was just playing, don’t you baby?” Jens couldn’t actually believe it. Killian just didn’t have to interrupt every soft moment they had, now he owned Jens’ pet name. He was Lucas’ baby, not that ugly ball of fur.

At this point he was glad neither the broerrrs nor Lucas could hear his thoughts.

Lucas started talking again “and talking about pain and love…the last time I checked you had another opinion of that” and then he raised his eyebrows giving Jens a suggestive look that made him blush.

After having dinner and taking care of Killian’s incident, they went to bed. Lucas was tired thanks to the trip and the effort of exams hit Jens out of nowhere. They had more days to talk about everything until their tired eyes closed or to do more interesting stuff.

--------------------------------------------------

It was almost 3 a.m. when Jens woke up. They were hugging each other while Lucas’ head was on Jens’ chest.

Jens couldn’t stop the smile that was appearing on his face thanks to that image. Lucas looked so calm and relaxed, and he also had a soft smile on his lips. He must have been dreaming something nice.

Jens kissed Lucas’ curls and moved to see what woke him up. He had a light sleep since he could remember and a weight on his bed covers made him open his eyes. It was Killian.

Lucas’ cat decided he also needed cuddles and joined them on bed. Jens moved slowly to face the cat. Lucas made a sound on his sleep and Jens kissed his forehead “shh, angel. Go back to sleep. It’s okay”.

The lack of answer was all he needed: Lucas was still sleeping. The last thing he wanted was to wake him up. He knew how hard is for his boyfriend to fall asleep again.

After assuring Lucas was sleeping, he looked at Killian straight to his eyes and whispered “you can’t let us two have a moment without you, don’t you? Come on, I let Lucas bring you here on OUR week”, but Killian didn’t bother on reacting to Jens’ words.

He was about to start being mad until he realised he was talking to a cat. What was he expecting? It was obvious he won’t get an answer. He tried again “Seriously, I know you’re cute and everything, I can see it and I understand why Lucas loves you. But you’re not sleeping on my bed”.

Then, Killian put that cute little face that made Lucas take him home, but Jens was stronger than that “What? It’s the only time I’ll have with Luc with no cats around! Why am I giving you any kind of explanation? You’re a cat and this is my bed! Wrong choice when you decided to hate me”. Seeing he didn’t get the attention he was asking for, he tried it again, looking at Jens with the saddest face he could put.

At that moment, Jens knew it was over for him.

“Okay, okay. I give up. Come here, little boy. But be quiet, we don’t want our Luc to wake up, right? He needs to sleep” Surprisingly, the little ball of fur (and anger, in Jens’ opinion) listened and joined them.

He seemed insecure, and Jens didn’t understand “hey, come here. It’s okay. You’re the only one who hates me. I’ve been nice all the time...come here, Kill”.

Finally, Killian curled near to Jens’ arm. His heart warmed up a little. At the end of the night, he had one of his hands brushing Lucas’ curls and another cuddling Killian until he fell asleep and started purring.

If Jens’ kissed the cats’ little head, nobody had to know about that.

Maybe they could stop being enemies after all.

[ayellowcurtain]

could you write a fic about zoe reading a text sander sent robbe out loud and embarrassing robbe in front of his friends? // Can you write were Sander takes care of sad Robbe // Could you please write about Robbe and Sander being out together and Robbe has a flashback to the assault and has a panic attack with Sander trying to calm him down and Robbe getting more scared whenever someone around them tries to get closer to help him?

If he had a choice, Robbe would hide inside his bedroom and never leave again. It’s been over a year, he should have learned his ways to deal with that night and all the traumas it caused at least a little bit, but he didn’t, apparently. 

It was an instinctive reaction, he panicked the second they entered that alley by accident and his body failed completely, shutting off and Robbe barely remembers what happened after, how he got home. The parts he remembers it’s like he’s seeing from outside of his body. Sander’s soothing voice, his hands holding Robbe tightly, helping him stand up again, keeping strangers away. 

He’s still at the flat, lying on the couch and he can hear whispers coming from the hall, people passing by the door, everyone probably letting Robbe have his space, even though his space, for now, is their living room. 

Robbe is thankful Sander brought him here and not his house or Sander’s house, he doesn’t want to worry his mom or Sander’s parents, they would have to explain that night and Robbe doesn’t feel like going back to those memories again. It was embarrassing enough to have to make Sander take care of him again. Just like the first time, Sander had to basically carry Robbe somewhere where he felt safer. 

Sander left this morning, Robbe remembers a little bit, he was still sleeping when Sander told him he had a test he couldn’t miss, he also remembers Sander whispering against his lips that he would come back after class. Robbe checks his watch, he slept for five hours, it’s almost midday and he should be heading home, his mom is probably worried. 

He slowly gets up from the couch, feeling the tear tracks on his cheeks, making his skin all sticky, he needs to wash his face, to compose himself before talking to the others. They all saw how he got there, Zoe helped him take his shoes and jacket off while Sander got him some water to drink. Robbe remembers her face, holding back her own tears while trying to soothe him, laying him down to put his head on her lap.

When the voices disappear a little, Robbe assumes they’re in the kitchen and so he opens the door carefully, the hallway is empty. He takes a deep breath, brushing his palms against his cheeks, hoping nobody is going to ask for explanations right away. Sander probably told them what happened, so Robbe hopes whatever he told them is enough.

As he carefully walks inside the kitchen, Zoe and Milan both look at him, but just for one second, then they go back to their activities - Zoe making her food and Milan snacking on something that’s probably not his, sitting on the counter, constantly smiling - while including Robbe in their conversation. Robbe is thankful that they are at least pretending last night didn’t happen. With normal conversation and a good, chaotic mood that he still remembers very feel, making him feel a little better. 

He doesn’t look back, but he feels Zoe’s eyes on him as she circles the table and sits right in front of him, smiling when Robbe finally gathers the courage to meet her eyes. 

“Sander is coming back in a little bit, he texted me ten minutes ago...” She explains and Robbe nods his head, not really questioning why Zoe and Sander are texting each other, he really doesn’t want to acknoledge that they are probably worried about him and his mental health. 

His phone starts to vibrate on the desk, spinning slowly and Zoe stares at it. Robbe doesn’t check, it’s probably his mom, worried and he doesn’t know what to say to her, he doesn’t want to lie and so he’s just hoping he can go home and tell her in person. 

It keeps spinning as he receives more and more messages and Zoe rolls her eyes, both of them have the same idea, but she manages to grab his phone first, unlocking it easily. 

“No...Zoe...” He tries to ask but doesn’t have the strength to move his body and get his phone back. 

Zoe gets up, swallowing her food before reading his messages with a smile on her face already. 

“Dear Robin, cutie of my life. 

I love you so much. I miss you. 

I’m on my way back to the flat now, hope you had sweet dreams that included me. 

And hopefully with a Bowie background music. 

Maybe like that morning, with the croissants and some...other adventures ;) 

I’ll be home soon, wait for me, always, I love you. I miss you. 

Your Sander”  

Robbe feels his whole being warming up in embarrassment, but mostly in love. Nothing sounds better than a day tangled with the love of his life, forgetting that the outside world exists. 

There are a lot of things to be thankful for. His friends threating him normally, taking care of him while pretending they’re not, but mostly, Robbe is so very thankful for Sander. He doesn’t have to do anything for Robbe, that’s not what their relationship is based on, but Sander does so much for him and Robbe can’t believe this is his life from now on. 

Even when they started dating, he never thought it would feel like this. Like soulmates actually exist and, somehow, Robbe had found his at his very first try. Robbe sighs, trying to hold back his smile, looking at the ground as he turns to the side and gets up. 

Sander couldn’t come to the flat quick enough. After a quick fight, he finally manages to get his phone back, standing on his tiptoes to get it from Zoe’s hand at the top of her head. He’s very aware that he’s still smiling, laughing even, and aware of all the awww Milan and Zoe are still making, looking at him as he types his messages back to Sander. 

I miss you too much

Please come quick 

Milan and Zoe are cool and all, but they’re not you <3 

I love you 

Your Robbe 

[esperinkdraws]

again, and again, and again

or, 5 times Patton asked, “Can I?”

this is like, really long, so under the cut it goes. (Also i really hate how section four is shorter than all the rest).

tagging @jessibbb and @bexxbeauty because moxiety

tagging @stop-it-anxiety and @lildevyl because Sanders Sides

stuffs: food mentions throughout, a panic attack and mention of parents arguing in section 2, mention of a storm in section 4, and a kiss or two at the end. I think that’s it?

1.

He was by himself. Sitting against a wall, away from the other kids. Virgil didn’t mind. He supposed he was used to it.

Shoes appeared in front of him and he looked up. A boy with dirty blond hair and freckles grinned at him, waving.

“Hi!” he said. “I’m Patton.”

Virgil recognized him from the classroom. Patton usually sat in one of the front seats and was typically a chatterbox.

“You’re Virgil, right?” Patton asked. When Virgil nodded, Patton smiled again. “Can I sit next to you?” Virgil nodded again, and so Patton took a seat next to him on the concrete.

Patton started to talk as Virgil continued to draw with chalk. He kind of tuned him out until he noticed it was quiet. He looked up again.

Patton was watching him, tilting his head just slightly. “You don’t talk much, do you?”

Virgil blushed and ducked his head, shaking his head no.

Patton brightened nonetheless. “That’s okay! My mom says I talk enough for two people.” He giggled, and Virgil couldn’t help but smile at the sound.

Patton sat next to him at recess and lunch for a week. And then the next week. Virgil half-expected him to stop at any moment, since he didn’t ever really reply.

One day Patton’s shoes stopped in front of Virgil again. The quiet boy looked up, and Patton had a surprisingly thoughtful look on his face.

“Virgil?” he asked, and he sounded almost hesitant. “Are you my friend?”

Virgil blinked at him and looked down in thought. Was that what they were? Friends? Well, they weren’t strangers, at least.

Patton shifting from foot to foot caused Virgil to look back up. Yes, he decided. Maybe that’s what they were. He nodded.

Patton beamed, moving to sit next to him. He offered Virgil his cookie. “Do you want my cookie? I’m allergic.”

2.

Virgil didn’t quite know where he was. His parents had been arguing and he just ran. He hated when they argued. He couldn’t stand it.

Now he was lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood and it was getting hard to breathe.

He’d been sitting there for a bit, head on his knees, when he became aware that there was someone in front of him.

“Virgil?”

He recognized the voice. Patton. He lifted his head just a bit to peek out at him. Patton reached out a hand and Virgil flinched back. Patton quickly retracted the hand and took a few steps back, shoes disappearing from view. He was leaving, wasn’t he? Virgil dug his nails into his palm.

Wait, no – he could hear his voice a few feet away, mingling with two other voices he didn’t recognize.

Patton’s shoes reappeared in Virgil’s vision. “Virgil?” Patton asked again. “Can I touch you?”

Virgil hesitated, but then he nodded. Patton placed a light hand on the back of Virgil’s wrist. “I’m gonna count, okay? My dad taught us this. I’m gonna count to four, and then to seven, and then to eight. You’re supposed to breathe with the numbers.”

Virgil didn’t respond verbally or physically. Patton gently tapped his wrist. “Okay?” he repeated. Virgil nodded, and Patton started counting.

It took a few times for Virgil to start breathing normally again. He looked up and noticed that something was different about Patton. He was wearing round glasses, which he hadn’t been when Virgil saw him at school earlier.

Behind Patton, Virgil could see two other kids that looked the same age as them. One also had glasses (but different frames) and the other had a red paper crown on his head.

Virgil bit his lip and looked back down.

“Oh,” Patton said. “These are my brothers, Logan and Roman. We have the same birthdays!” He clapped a little.

“Triplets,” Logan said with a small adjustment of his glasses, and Patton nodded.

“Yeah, that.” He gestured between his brothers and Virgil. “This is my best friend Virgil!”

Oh.

Best friend?

Patton’s brothers greeted Virgil and didn’t mention the lack of verbal response.

Virgil glanced back at Patton, tapping the side of his own head, near his eyes.

“Oh yeah!” Patton said, taking off his glasses to show him. “I got glasses today!”

3.

Virgil sat on a bench near the cafeteria, swinging his legs, (or, at least trying to. He’d grown too much to be able to do it correctly).

He watched the rest of the sixth graders file out of the cafeteria. None of them would be sixth graders after this, and it sort of scared him. It was the last day and the school had decided to celebrate that with an award assembly.

Virgil was just waiting for his mom to pick him up. She was at work and his dad wasn’t in the picture anymore.

“Virgil!”

His head snapped up to see Patton running to him. His brothers trailed behind him.

Patton skidded to a stop right in front of Virgil, and then took a step back in case he was too close. He was grinning at him and his eyes were wet. “Can I hug you?” he asked.

Virgil nodded, slightly confused.

Patton smiled again and hugged him briefly, then he let go and stepped back again. “I just have a lot of feelings,” he said, bringing a hand up to wipe at a tear that had escaped.

“Oh,” Virgil said, and they both pretended that Patton’s eyes didn’t widen at the first word Virgil had said to him since they’d met two years prior.

But Patton just grinned at him again, turning when his brothers had caught up to him. Logan greeted them and Roman reminded Virgil to sign his yearbook.

“I’m so excited for next year!” Patton said. His brothers noticed him start to ramble and quietly slipped away.

Virgil didn’t mind Patton’s rambling at all. He’d come to enjoy it, and he was very much used to it since he was the one who didn’t talk.

“Gosh, I hope we get a lot of classes together,” Patton continued, clutching his yearbook to his chest.

He didn’t get to say much more before a man approached and said, “Hey kiddo, it’s time to go.”

Patton pretended to pout. But then he turned to him and said, “Hi dad! This is Virgil.”

“Ah, so this is the best friend we’ve been hearing about,” Patton’s dad said good-naturedly, but Virgil blushed nonetheless.

“He’s a therapist,” Patton told Virgil proudly. Then he looked thoughtful. “Can I hug you again?”

Virgil nodded, and Patton smiled.

Patton hugged him and then let go. “I’ll see you later,” he said, and Virgil watched as the family left.

4.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Well, no, not really. It was a dark and stormy late afternoon. Virgil had gone over to Patton’s house to do homework and it had started to rain the minute he stepped inside.

It had been alright for a bit, and the boys had gotten some things done, but then the sky darkened, lightning and thunder happened, and the power had gone out.

Patton fretted. Virgil might have found Patton’s fear of storms a little silly if he didn’t care for him so much. If he didn’t find the other teen so… endearing.

Patton turned to him, eyes wide behind his glasses. “Can I… can I hold your hand?”

Virgil offered his hand, and only hummed when Patton latched onto it.

“Sorry,” Patton said softly, and Virgil just shrugged as if to say, ‘it’s okay.’ Patton smiled a little. “Can I… put my head here?” he asked next, tilting his head towards Virgil’s shoulder until getting an okay from him. He snuggled into his side.

Virgil quietly tried not to melt as he continued to work on his homework with his free hand.

“You know, Virge,” Patton said with a small, content sigh, and Virgil hummed in response. “I’m glad we’re friends.” He smiled up at him when Virgil glanced down.

5.

Roman had taken it upon himself to assist Virgil in his quest for his brother’s hand. When he learned that Virgil had a crush on Patton, he insisted on helping with the confession.

“Fine, if you don’t want to say anything to him, maybe you can write him something,” Roman was saying. “You know what people like?”

“Bagels,” Virgil supplied helpfully.

“…No, what?” Roman was nearly confused into silence. Virgil still rarely spoke and when he did, it always seemed to trip Roman up. Not to mention Virgil’s answer did not seem on topic. “Maybe.” He waved a hand. “Um, poetry!”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t give me that look,” Roman said. “Poetry has been used for years to express how one feels about someone. Dedicate something to him. Take, for one, Shakespeare’s sonnet 138. Allow me to demonstrate.” Roman cleared his throat and started to recite the poem. “’When my love swears to me that she’ – or, well, ‘he’ in this situation – ‘is made of truth, I do believe her though I know she lies—”

“I’ll stop you right there,” Logan said, causing the other two to jump due to seemingly appearing out of nowhere. “That is about an older man and an unfaithful girl… lying to maintain their relationship.”

Roman opened his mouth and then closed it. “Oh.”

Logan rolled his eyes at Roman’s surprised silence, turning to Virgil. “If you’re going to be using Shakespeare, might I suggest, Shakespeare’s sonnet 18? ‘Shall I compare thee’ –”

The sound of a door opening interrupted him. Patton had arrived home, and he saw them all standing in the kitchen. “Oh, Virgil! What are you doing here?” he asked.

“He was waiting for you,” Roman said helpfully. Without pausing, he said, grabbing Logan’s arm, “Hey, Lo, you wanted to show me that documentary about sharks, right?”

“Well, yes, but—” Logan didn’t get to finish his protest.

“Excellent, let’s go watch it.” Roman dragged a confused Logan out of the room.

Patton watched them go with a slight tilt of his head before turning to Virgil, smiling at him. “You were waiting for me?” he asked.

Virgil nodded, just once. “I—” He hesitated, cutting himself off. Patton’s eyebrows rose in either surprise of curiosity, and Virgil almost immediately lost most of his confidence.

Patton’s expression softened. “Take your time,” he said.

Virgil’s face flushed as he chewed on one of his fingernails for a moment. “I really like you,” he managed to say.

There was only a moments’ pause before Patton beamed up at him. “I really like you too, Virgil.”

Virgil thought that Patton misunderstood, so he shook his head to indicate that no, not in a friendship way, when Patton stopped him.

“Like more than friends, right?”

Virgil blinked, nodding slowly.

Patton just smiled and lifted a hand to hold Virgil’s cheek, stopping before contact to silently ask permission. Virgil leaned into the touch and Patton full-on grinned. “Virgil,” he said, meeting his eyes, “can I kiss you?”

Virgil nodded wordlessly and Patton surged up to press his lips against Virgil’s.

When Patton eventually pulled away, he giggled at the dazed look on Virgil’s face. “Hey Virge,” he said, and Virgil hummed in reply. “Wanna be my boyfriend?”

“God, yes,” Virgil said, and Patton kissed him again.

[toneelspeelster]

portraying trauma, a skam and remakes comparison

disclaimer: i’ll start this by saying this meta will be critical of the way wtfock portrayed their version of a traumatic experience (the gay bashing). if you do not want to engage with criticism on this, i’d advise you not to read. this will also discuss only a few versions (skam, druck, skam nl and wtfock) in particular because i didn’t want to make it too long and because i feel these versions deal with trauma in an interesting way. 

common reactions

in any case, i’d like to start with common reactions after experiencing a traumatic event, be it a sexual assault, emotional assault, physical assault etc.

1. anxiety and fear 2. re-experiencing of the trauma. 3. increased vigilance 4. avoidance 5. anger 6. guilt/shame 7. grief/depression 8. self image and view of the world is negative, trust is difficult. 9. difficulty with sexual relationships 10. substance abuse (i’d include negative coping mechanisms here too).  source

now, i mention this not because i think every remake hits these but rather because i want people to see what commonly happens after traumatic events to people and how wtfock in one instance (robbe/sander) misses the mark completely while in another (zoe) it actually sort of works. and how other remakes have dealt with the subject matter. 

first off: skam

to start with even’s traumatic experience and his response. i’m starting with even mostly because it’s the original series, not necessarily bc i think it’s the most elegant portrayal (bc it’s definitely not). but in essence, what it does show is the effect of a traumatic event in the long run. even’s experience at bakka, where he kissed one of his friends he had a crush on; who rejected him; even being in a manic episode; resulting in a suicide attempt and his self inforced isolation from his best friends by going to another school and ignoring their messages - it’s touched upon in his initial season but expanded in season 4. and still at least one year later, still even freezes up in fear immediately after seeing his friends. even is incredibly anxious; it’s clear he’s recalling past memories he’s been trying to avoid for forever; he feels immensely guilty (he wants to see elias, he really does, he just doesn’t know how) and even though i think even’s self image is not necessarily the result of this experience, it does have an even more negative effect on his self-image. even has difficulties liking himself, seeing worth in himself, even in season 4. after reconciling w him (however that even went we don’t know) he appears in one of their vlogs and still you can see how uncomfortable it makes him to talk about it. but, this is what it ends on: you see the strength of even reaching out to those he loves and for them being able to reach out to him too. in the end, it’s healing. it is discussed throughout the season.

 then, numbers two: druck and skam nl

i’m combining these two in one entry bc i feel like these two portrayals deal with the repercussions of traumatic experiences to the life of these two very well. 

first off, we have david, who came out as transgender at a previous school and was met with intense transphobic reactions; deadnaming, invasive personal questions and just generally awful treatment by people - it resulted in david feeling very unsafe, difficulties sleeping and hiding and running away in the hopes of avoiding these situations. it affects his world view of the world as unkind, and him forcing himself to be okay with being alone bc the only one he trusts is himself. he doesn’t let people too close (wanting to stay anonymous) and when matteo breaks up with sarah he runs bc matteo is getting too close. and then, it happens again. he’s outed on social media in his new school, having difficulties even doing his exams bc his teacher is being a transphobic dick and he’s scared of both him and the kids at school. he then, after staying with his godmother, hides himself away at an unsafe, abandoned pool and even staying there for a night. 

then, we have liv. earlier in her life, she’s implied to have had an eating disorder - a traumatic experience in itself. and although she seems very aware of her needing to be careful not to fall into those patterns again, it unfortunately does come to the front again when faced with the fact that she’s been sexually assaulted in her sleep and it’s been filmed without consent. as an eating disorder survivor, i’d say her body is already something she might have difficulties with. to combine that with sexual assault.. it results in liv isolating herself at home, resorting to doing her white(!) laundry multiple times in one week and her stress baking cookies only for her to give them to her roommates. her mum even asks her if she’s eating well - for a mother who seems emotionally and physically distant otherwise, liv must’ve not sounded well. even when she seems a little bit better, engel still comes over to check up on liv and cook for her. engel has similar ed experiences so she knows it’s not something that’s just gone one second to the next. 

these portrayals work well bc it is clear that their experiences have become a detriment to their view of the world and result in them resorting to very unhealthy coping mechanisms. they both clearly feel the loss of control, the triggering of (past) experiences; the avoidance and the isolation. liv feels immense shame, david feels immense anger and fear - they both have difficulties trusting people, even the ones they care about the most. 

but, in the end? 

david does let matteo subtly know where he is, bc he knows matteo will see him and find him. matteo calls him even out on it: you are not a damned vampire who needs to hide away, he says - something that david didn’t even see about himself until matteo told him. he finds support in matteo and all of his friends and his sister. he doesn’t need to be alone anymore. 

and liv? she tells her friends about her troubles eventually, and they support her wholeheartedly, telling her it’s not her fault and flashing boobs while doing so. liv finds the strength to confront her attacker and blackmailing him, and eventually her boyfriend tells her she needs to go to the police to report his brother. 

these are both david’s season-long storyline and liv’s multiple episode storyline (all her clips for the first week after her experience focus solely on this). it’s healing to see this happen to survivors of these experiences. 

as a ender: wtfock

i think it’s important to establish first that this is first and foremost about robbe/sander’s gay bashing. robbe and sander have been dating approximately three days when they are violently and verbally assaulted and seemingly left for dead in antwerp’s streets. the next episode makes a point of robbe and sander being hurt badly with bruises and cuts and black eyes, robbe doesn’t sleep much and is irritated quickly and sander has a very weird reaction to violence in general and doesn’t want to go to the police. later, robbe is scared that sander was put off by the idea of going to the police, that he felt forced. within that same first episode, robbe tells milan the true story and zoe a little off story and they react sympathetically, zoe even offering her doctor. robbe’s mum’s psych also refers him to a therapist and he calls her. 

but then the storyline, after episode 6? it ends? milan seems to weirdly reference it sometimes but it doesn’t come to any conclusion in the end. after reconciling sander and robbe have no trouble kissing in front of everyone. there’s no sense of robbe or sander having internalised a different world view after this experience. they even never discuss it ever again after that first week. robbe going to a therapist is not even shown or referenced at all, even with the opportunity being there with social media updates. there’s no real repercussions, except for loss of sleep and sander maybe sort of seeing it as a way of destroying something time and again but that’s more his world view bc of his mental illness i’d say. it’s a storyline for one episode, that’s it. and with how irresponsibly they portrayed it by not immediately showing them being alright or together or taken care off but waiting hours for an update, it triggered a hella lot of audience members instead. as a bisexual woman myself, i felt scared watching that. 

zoe’s storyline of having to testify even got more of an appropriate portrayal as she’s scared to testify and also feels pushed by the people who love her the most (milan and senne). her breaking up w senne feels more an actual genuine decision bc of messed up feelings about the whole situation (senne being quite... aggressive with how he approaches her about it sometimes.. it felt like he wanted it for himself mostly, not for her). her not being able to sleep and feeling exhausted, months after the actual traumatic experience happened. it has an effect on her and how she responds and how she makes decisions.

conclusion

experiences like these have repercussions. but apparently in belgium only sexual assault results in trauma. gay bashing doesn’t. it had no true purpose except to educate straight people about the plight of lgbt people being attacked violently. but, as people far more eloquent than i have said, why? homophobes will not watch this series and suddenly turn around. and the world is damned if people just don’t realise that beating up people is bad and shouldn’t happen. 

the true purpose of skam is to teach people of all kinds, and to show people of a certain minority, community or with same/different life experiences that there is hope, and a lot more to them than just what they have experienced. now even the good portrayals could have all benefitted from telling the audience that it’s good and okay to go to therapy about this... but at least they didn’t shy away from a storyline that shows how deep this runs for people. they devoted time to it.

and that’s all wtfock really needed to do if wanting to make a point by including this. they didn’t. it’s sensational fodder at best. and i think that the characters as well as the audience?

they deserved better than that. 

[teacupfulofstarshine]

pattonella part 8: everybody is chugging their “love and respect patton” juice

a/n: first posted fic of 2020! 

CW: brief nonspecific death mention, injury mention, minor angst 

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // read it on ao3! 

“so what was it like, growing up a prince?” virgil asks. logan is on his back, eyes closed, and virgil is next to him, his head is on logan’s shoulder, and logan has an arm wrapped around him. 

“it was . . . interesting,” logan hums. “my mother passed on shortly after roman was born. i did not know her well, as roman was only one when she left us and i was not yet three. thomas, however . . . thomas was five. he had memories of her, when she was born, and when she died it was . . . hard on him.” 

“i can imagine.” 

“father retreated into his work. he threw himself into the running of the kingdom to cope with his grief, and . . . and we were left to raise ourselves, among nursemaids and tutors and such. father loves us, we never doubted that. but he was . . . distant.” 

“yeah, my mom wasn’t super good at warm and fuzzy, either. and of course, i had a shitshow for a brother until i made peace with patton. you’re lucky that you had thomas and roman.” 

“they are very important to me, truly. but for the most part, i spent my childhood throwing myself into books and lessons. i know so many things i might never need to use in real life.” 

“like what?”

“hmmm?”

“what kind of stuff did you learn?” 

logan gently sweeps his thumb over virgil’s hipbone. “um . . . i can play the piano, i can play the violin, i can sing classically, i can speak . . . approximately five languages, i can fire multiple ranged weapons, i can play chess -”

“i know that,” virgil says. he tilts and kisses logan’s neck, and logan makes a low, pleased noise. virgil hums in response, nuzzling him and trying to gather the strength to ask a very important question. 

“what is it, dearest?” logan asks, a smile in his voice. 

“what do you mean?”

“i can hear you overthinking about something, virgil.” 

“you don’t know that’s what i’m doing,” he says defensively. 

“that was a rather defensive tone you just took, dear.” 

“i . . . you are right, and i’m sorry. it’s just . . .”

“speak freely, virgil. you know i’ll listen, whatever the grievance.”

“not a grievance. just a question. well, a series of questions, actually, but it starts with just one question. i - i’m sorry, i know i’m bothering you when you’re supposed to be resting and all that -”

“virgil, i have been bedridden with a concussion for nearly five days. i am approaching the end of my restful period. and even if i was not, you are never a bother to me. please, ask your questions.” 

virgil takes a deep breath, inhales it and holds it and slowly exhales it. “you . . . when you and roman came to - to rescue us . . . when you brought us here, away from sanders manor . . .”

“yes?” 

“in the carriage, on the way home. you swore to me that . . . that you would never lie to me.”

a pause, a beat of silence. “i did, virgil.”

“is that still true?” 

“it is, virgil.” 

“i - i’m going to ask you a question, logan. and i want - i need - an honest answer.” 

“of course, virgil.” 

“i know that roman’s sent letters to patton, and he’s sent one to me, as well, but you’ve definitely received letters from him too, right?” 

“that i have.”

“what’s really happening?” virgil asks. “my letter just asks that i take care of patton while he’s away, and patton’s just say that roman misses him and wants to come home very soon. they don’t tell us anything about what he’s doing, or how he’s doing. is he okay?” 

a pause, a heavy exhale. “he is, virgil. the bandits are proving more troublesome than he had initially thought - they caught wind of roman riding out with some knights, and they changed up their attack plans, roman is fortifying the village now and making sure that they’re ready for the next attack.” 

“is he wounded?” 

logan does not respond right away. 

“logan, you promised to answer me honestly. is roman wounded?” 

“not severely,” logan says. “i understand that an arrow grazed his arm, nicked him slightly. but he is not seriously injured. if he were, they would send him home to recover. he is alright.”

“but he hasn’t told patton, has he.”

“i suspect not. he does not wish to worry him.” 

“won’t it worry patton more not to know? to expect roman home unscathed and see him hurt?” 

“i cannot say i have historically agreed with my brother’s decision making skills, but i trust him. and besides all that, from what i understand he’ll be home soon.”

“good,” virgil sighs. “i worry for patton when roman’s away. he’s not used to being in such a large place, and he’s used to dorian treating him as worse than a servant. i think he’s going a bit . . .”

“stir-crazy?”

“yeah. when roman’s here, he takes patton around the castle and entertains him and fills his day with things to do. but now that roman’s away, patton doesn’t know what to do with himself. his whole life, almost, his days have been full of the things your servants do. he’s not used to having things done for him, he’s used to doing things for others. i’m . . .”

“worried for your brother?”

“yeah.”

“i understand. i worry for roman, and not just when he goes off to fight. i worry for thomas, too, since he is burdened with more and more responsibilities as our father takes ill. normally, one of us holds court with him - in place of a queen, you understand, or a prince consort - but with me injured and roman away he’s been holding his own. he can, of course, but still.”

virgil turns to kiss logan’s head. “i guess worrying for our brothers is another thing that brings us together, hmm?”

“i suppose so,” logan smiles. “but i’m sure that patton is fine.”

“i hope so.” 

*~*~*~*~*

patton doesn’t think he’s suited to be royalty. 

he doesn’t know what to do with himself without roman. he’s used to having things to do, to occupy his hands and time, and now he just . . . sits around. 

he wakes up early one morning, before the curtains are open. patton’s been trying to sleep later and later, now that he doesn’t have to be up before the crack of dawn, and the curtains are always opened by the time he wakes up. there’s also a steaming tray of breakfast on the bedside table, and no matter how quickly patton thinks he bathes and dresses the dishes are always gone before he comes back. 

this morning, patton tries his best to fall back asleep, but he can’t. he stays tucked into the warm, soft mattress and the soft, downy pillows and the thick, heavy blankets, nestled securely in the four-poster bed, and he’s almost halfway to slumber again when the door creaks open. 

patton almost sits up, but remains totally still instead, measuring his breathing to ensure that it’s even and deep. a shadow enters, creeping inside, and as they approach the bed patton steels his nerves and tries to think if there’s something nearby he can bludgeon an attacker with. 

the shadow grasps the curtains at the edge of the bed and pulls them back, tying them to the side. then, it crosses to the windows and pulls the heavy drapes back, tying them off as well. when the shadow turns, patton sits up, and the shadow gasps. it’s a young man, perhaps two or three years his junior, with dark hair and wide, dark eyes (the only details patton can make out at this distance). 

“are you okay?” patton asks. the man takes a step back, as though he’s going to leave the room. “no - no, please, please stay!” 

“wh - whatever you want, your lordship.” 

“what is your name?” 

“i - nathan, your lordship. my family calls me nate.” 

“may i call you that?” 

“i - if you wish, your lordship.”

“you don’t have to call me that!” patton yawns, rubbing his eyes. “do you know where my glasses are? i can’t see a gosh-darned thing without them!” 

“on your night table, your lordship. would you like me to help you?” 

“if you could pass them to me, i’d appreciate it an awful lot!” nate hurries around the bed and holds the glasses out to patton, who takes them and slides them on. from this distance, curtains open and glasses on, he can see nate much more clearly. 

he looks absolutely terrified. 

“hey, don’t be scared,” patton says. “i’m not going to - to hurt you or anything.” 

“of course not, your lordship. i just - i’m not supposed to let you see me, sir.” 

“whyever not? i see servants around all the time, why should you be any different?” 

“the palace is meant to run like clockwork, sir. you might see some of the clock gears, but most of them operate far below your sight.” 

“you’re more important than a silly old clock gear, though,” patton says. “you’re a person! what’s your actual job title?” 

“i’m a bedroom attendant, your lordship. i bring you breakfast and clear the dishes away, and i make the bed and change the sheets and clean your clothes and take them to be mended if need be. oh, and i clean the bedroom, of course.” 

“can we change that title at all?” 

nate swallows, hard. “do . . . do you mean that . . . that you wish to fire me? has my job been . . . unsatisfactory? or is it the fact that - that you’ve seen me?” 

“no! no, no, nothing like that. i just - roman is gone, and i’m lonely. i want someone to keep me company during the day, when virgil and logan are about. you seem nice enough!” 

“you . . . you would like me to be your . . . your personal servant? your personal attendant?” nate whispers. 

“yeah! are you against that?” 

“no . . . it’s just . . . i’ve been told that - that being a personal servant to a higher up is a very good job, depending on the higher up that you work for. and you - you seem like - like a good person, your lordship.”

“excellent!” patton claps. “so how would i go about getting you as my personal attendant, then?” 

“i - i suppose you would have to talk to - to the king, your lordship, but he . . .”

“he’s ill,” patton finishes. “yes, your lordship.” “so who would i ask?” 

“i . . . suppose his highness the crown prince - well, the eldest prince, i suppose.” 

“good. i’ll go this morning! i want you to come with me, nate. are you allowed to do that?” 

“my job is to serve the royal family and their guests. that includes you, your lordship. if you request me for something, i will come.” 

“perfect, nate!” patton grins, and despite the clear nerves nate smiles back. 

*~*~*~*~*

thomas scrubs his fist across his eyes when he sees the size of the stack of paperwork set in front of him. “what is all this?” 

“the paperwork for today, your highness.” 

“this seems like an awful lot. i’m not really crown prince yet, you know, father still handles most of this stuff.” 

“your father is feeling quite ill today, your highness. i was told to add the paperwork in with your standard. should - should i not have?” 

“no, no, it’s alright. thank you. you may take your leave.” 

the servant bows her head and ducks out of the room. thomas sighs, reaching for the fountain pen resting on the edge of the desk. “more and more paperwork . . .” 

he makes it through three or four documents before someone knocks on the door and the servant from earlier pokes her head in. “your highness?” 

“yes?” 

“lord sanders is outside, requesting an audience. shall i tell him to leave?” 

“no, no, send him in.” 

the servant ducks back out, and then patton bounces in with a different servant at his heels. he’s wearing one of roman’s old outfits, a flowy red tunic top and gray pants with soft gray boots. “thomas! oh - i mean - your highness -”

“none of that,” thomas says, waving his hand and standing up to greet patton. “you’re gonna be my brother in law, pat.” patton grins again, hurrying around the table to hug him.

“oh! thomas, this is nate!” 

the servant bows to him, hands shaking slightly. “y - your highness.” 

“he’s the - what did you say your job title was, nate?”

“bedroom attendant, your lordship.”

“yeah, that! but i was wondering if we could maybe change that job title?” 

“change it? to what?” 

“uuuuh . . . nate?”

nate looks up at thomas. “lord sanders was wondering if - if it might be possible to - to change my job from bedroom attendant to - to his personal servant.”

“yeah! roman’s the only person i really know here, and he’s gone, and i’m lonely.” thomas watches patton fidget with his fingers. “i want a friend, if . . . if that’s alright. i want someone to keep me company.” 

“so what you want is a lady-in-waiting?” 

“a what?” 

thomas drops back into his chair, picking up his fountain pen and pulling another document in front of him. “if you were a noblewoman, you would have a personal servant that tended to your personal needs and served as your confidant for all things personal and private. her title would be lady-in-waiting. as you’re a nobleman, you don’t have a lady-in-waiting, but if you wanted nate to be your personal manservant, i suppose the duties would be the same.” 

patton looks at nate with wide eyes and grins. “would you like that, nate? would you like to be my personal manservant?” the servant stares at patton. “it’s okay if you don’t want to . . .”

“no! i - i would very much like to! if you would like me to, sir!” nate’s eyes are watering. “my - my mother would be so happy!” 

“your mother?” 

“she’s a cook in the castle kitchens, sir,” nate says. “she - she wanted me to be more than just a bedroom attendant, she wanted me to have a good life, i - when i tell her of this promotion, she’ll be overjoyed!” 

patton looks at thomas eagerly. “nate can be changed to that title, right?” 

thomas smiles and reaches for a clean piece of parchment. 

*~*~*~*~*

“are you sure that you’re alright, sir?” 

roman looks up from where he’s been staring into the fire. one of his knights, claire, is frowning at him. “hmm?” she unstraps her sword and sits down next to him, balancing the sheathed blade across her armored knees. “did you need something?” 

“i asked if you were sure you’re alright, sir. you’ve been staring off strangely lately.” claire unsheathes her blade and tilts it, reflecting firelight off its perfectly sharpened edge. “it’s unlike you.” 

roman sighs. “i’m alright.” he shifts, wincing when he tugs on the bandages tied around his arrow wound. “i’m just worried about my brother.” 

“prince logan? or crown prince thomas?”

“he’s not crown prince yet,” roman responds automatically. “i’m worried about logan, because he was concussed by that horse, and i’m worried about thomas, because father is ailing and he keeps having more and more work piled on him, and i’m worried about patton because he must be so lonely without me there, and i’m just . . . worried about the kingdom in general.”

“prince logan is strong,” claire says, pulling a whetstone from a pouch and beginning to sharpen her sword. “he won’t be killed by something like a draft horse. he’s recovering well, isn’t he?” 

“yes . . .”

“and crown prince thomas will have to adjust to running the kingdom sooner or later. i’m sure he will be able to handle it. he is capable, is he not?” 

“he is . . .”

“and lord sanders has his brother to keep him company. he will adjust in time.”

“i . . . suppose . . .”

“the kingdom is healthy, prince roman. that is why we’re here, is it not? we’re here to help the kingdom stay healthy. everything will be fine. we’ll make sure of it.” 

roman smiles. “what would i do without you to keep my head on straight, claire?” she scoffs.

“there’s nothing straight about either of us, and you know that for a fact, prince roman.” 

*~*~*~*~*

patton wakes up to nate tying the curtains back. “good morning, lord sanders!” he greets. when he steps closer, patton is able to make out his clothes. he’s wearing a pale blue tunic, with grey pants and boots and a heart-shaped crest stitched above his heart. “am i dressed appropriately?”

“that depends. what are you wearing, exactly?” 

“i’m wearing the colors and crest of the sanders estate! i looked into them in the castle library, and mother sewed the crest onto my tunic. do - do you not like it?” patton reaches out and touches the crest on nate’s chest. a memory flashes to his mind - his mother, wearing such a crest on a silver chain around her neck, bending down to kiss his forehead as she tucks him in. 

“it . . . i think it’s perfect, nate,” he says softly. nate smiles, straightening his tunic proudly. he offers patton his glasses, and the world slides sharply into focus. 

“i can fetch your breakfast from the kitchens whenever you’re ready, sir! what would you like me to bring you today?” patton hums, considering. he isn’t particularly hungry in the mornings, most times. 

“just a little toast and jam, if it’s alright. and - and perhaps some tea with honey?” 

“certainly, sir!” 

“you don’t have to do that,” patton says. “call me ‘lord sanders’ or ‘your lordship’ or ‘sir’ or anything like that. you can just call me patton.” nate shakes his head. 

“it wouldn’t be proper of me, sir. at the very least not in public. i might get scolded for being impolite, even if you told me to do so. but . . . but in private . . . perhaps i could work my way up to that, sir?” 

patton smiles. “that’s a start, nate.”