#not trying to be like super poetic or anything j

[widowmaker]

i used to hate the summer. i hated the excessive heat and the disgusting humidity. it made me feel even more sour with my birthday being in July. Winter is my favorite season. I love the cold, the ice, the dry and crisp air. Planned a good portion of my life to live anywhere up north where the summer seasons are minimal. But after meeting Sloane everything changed. Sloane is the complete opposite; loves summer. Loves the sweltering heat and humidity that leaves you sticky. I couldn't understand why. She showed me why he loves the summer. The blooming flowers and fruiting trees. The buzzing of bumblebees gathering nectar and the distinct call of a red-tailed hawk. The feeling of a warm sunny day, but the occasional cool breeze that wafts by while you lay in the grass. I began to love summer now too. I find myself craving it. Craving the blasting sun and the sticky feeling of humidity after trail walks and I never realized until now how much I have changed. It’s not just the seasons, but other things I’ve disliked or barely cared about my whole life previously. I don’t think we realize how omnipotent love is. Not just to be loved, but specifically to love. I can’t stop thinking about the saying “to be loved, is to be changed” and the changes that often happen are frivolous by most standards and so, they are forgotten or ignored. But I think all of those frivolous little changes I’ve went through, whether it occurred from the love of Sloane, family, the friends that have stayed, the friends that have left, and even the animals and plants I’ve come to care for...I think once you become cognizant of all that’s been altered inside you, it shakes you to your core in a way that feels like you’ve been drowning in a sempiternal ocean before finally finding the strength to break the surface for air.

[betrayalbracket]

Is there any funny explanations?

oh, quite a few! we'll post our favorites under the cut! they'll include both full descriptions and pieces of descriptions that we found funny! as a fun game, try to guess who they're describing.

- "Mindy is an NPC who will offer to trade you her Haunter for a Medicham. Now, Haunter is a Pokémon that evolves by trade into Gengar, a popular Pokémon that’s hard to get if you’re like me and have no friends. So you trade with her and get the Haunter and does it evolve? No. Because MINDY tricked you. She put an everstone on that Haunter. She has no reason to do so other than pure malice. Mindy is easily the most villainous character in the Pokémon multiverse. Worse than all the crime lords and child abusers and guys that try to kill god." (just this entire submission is pure gold. you're so right. fuck mindy) - "You just shot your son asshole." - "Also when I was writing a high school au he literally could not be on screen without commenters squinting suspiciously at him even though the worst he ever did on screen was be a bad kisser and kind of a douche and that is still the funniest thing to. I was trying to play a long game and lull my audience into a false sense of security and I just couldn't get them to relax with him." - "Also he has dimples! He’s so cute! Evil baby" - "like 2 weeks later he robs and then tries to murder them. ow oof owie" - "in jcs canon: judas sees his best bud/maybe boyfriend jesus getting super popular and worries that it’s all going to backfire on them! so he tries to help by going to the authorities and having jesus arrested so that maybe jesus will get knocked down a peg or two. BUT instead they beat and crucify him and judas is like oh fuck maybe that was a bad idea. then he offs himself and comes back to life one song later to sing a baller 70s pop ballad. and the most fun part is that jesus KNEW the whole time judas would betray him so it hurts even more!! in bible canon: uhh idk he sells out jesus for 30 silver pieces just because :/" (i never thought anything would make me want to see a musical about jesus but here we are. anyways i love "just because :/") - "look at his big fucking eyes . ok now hes killed his teammates numerous times." - "Cask of amontillado-ed the soul of the planet Earth" - "and then he tried to execute all three of them. e rated video games." - "10/10 betrayal georg" - "She also has multiple charges of manslaughter/j" - "also he totally failed at the godhood thing" - "attempts to stab the main character in the back (and I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theorecally or in any other fancy way, he had a knife)" - "But oh, he's just so precious while he does it, such a silly little bastard who deserved that punch in the face from Stan 😋"

- "tricking kirby and friends into helping him repair his ship and beating the shit outa landia to get the master crown and then he steals the master crown and becomes god for a good 10 seconds and then kirby beats the shit outta him and sends him to hell. Is basiclly catboy Judas" - "oh you know. tricking a little inspiring scientist named ford build a little doomsday device. making him go insane and lose trust in everyone and completely destroy his life. almost ending the entire universe for a frat party. yknow. just silly things" - "Bitch fucking used Kirby and pals to fix his ship while he sat back and drank mamaosas before then tricking them into committing a coup on another world’s head of state bEFORE STEALING THE MASTER CROWN!!!! HE’S A LITTLE BITCH!!!!" - "Pretended to be my friend only because he wanted to execute me and my lizard bestie multiple times. He then tried to become friends with said lizard bestie only to betray him AGAIN. I have trust issues because of this man." - "I just know someone will drop the whole stitch but there's a reason he's paired with Sans from Undertale, theoretically betrays the players, I digress, in "Fingers up your ass" for no reason." - "Promised us the first female doctor. Ended up shattering the lore in half, spitting in our faces and then fucked off. Fuck you Chibby your Torchwood episodes aren't even that good" - "claimed to be scared of being murdered and asked to switch rooms with the protagonist, when really she planned on killing somebody and pinning the blame on him. girlboss swag!" - "Made deals, but instead of the cliche soul thing he KIDNAPPED PEOPLE STRAIGHT TO HELL." - "was actually from an alternate universe (where everyone is evil, don’t worry about it btw)" - "Bro. Buddy. Need I say more. My man straight up kidnapped a glasses girlboss, Oprah Winfrey, my actress lookalike, and a human duck. What an icon." - "idk man I’m agnostic and was raised atheist, I’m pretty sure he was once an angel and got demoted and stuff???" - "Killed me while i was doing a download (the most awfullest crime, worse than killing someone normally)" - "like. she kills so many people that are her friends and . i mean. what wasn't her betrayal?" - "Was literally just A Guy but it turns out he Was Not and was actually Evil The Whole Time" - "she didn’t do anything i just hate her (this is /j don’t include her in the bracket/lh)" (she's not going in the bracket but she's being immortalized here) - "Betrayed both the villain and the protagonist (i think, i just know his theme slaps)"

- "The entire plot of How Bad Can I Be really. Look me in the eyes and tell me im wrong" - "Put me in the fucking character betrayal pole the fruity little twink /lhj/j/j/nsrs" - "Cheated on Perry the Platypus with Peter the Panda (season 1 ep 7 it's about time"

- "he pissed on Eggman’s wife (and fucked her but the entire cast did tbh so)"

- "he promised raf he’d bring him back a snowball and he fucking didn’t"

- "Slept in my brother’s bed last night instead of mine >:("

- "That fucker voted me out AFTER SEEING ME SCAN. Bitch"

- "He was so nice and them bam 💥 sicced Giratina on us"

- "Borrowed a 20 and never gave it back. Pay up"

- "wouldn't you like to know weather boy /ref"

- "He stabbed that old man right in his pussy"

- "Nice-guying at Mabel, terrible hair" (tbh though i'd argue this wasn't even his betrayal- more something about him convincing the entire town he's just a harmless little psychic, or him telling dipper oh there's no issue this sort of thing happens and then trying to fucking kill him)

- "got jesus killed innit" - "Jesus"

and also, as a bonus, one that isn't a description but was still very funny: "that one motherfucker who killed me with the ultra stamp when I was trying to go for the ultra signal even though we're technically on the same team you fucking bastard"

[marzipanloves]

💕🧸 and 🌈 for the oc f/o ask game? :)

(TYSM IVE BEEN WANTING TO GET ASKS AND STUFF)

I'll answer for my main 3, Ares, Idris, and Ador. (All 3 were made by @joolianjay my QP :3 !!)

💝 - what is your oc f/os love language (gift giving, acts of service, words of affirmation, etc)? what kind do they give and what kind do they like to receive?

Ares: Ares likes to flirt a ton so I'd say probably words of affirmation and physical touch. Giving whistles and flirty comments and compliments on top of being very physically affectionate any time I'm near him and I love it even when he's handsy SLDFKJSFDL

Idris: I think acts of service and quality time most often. They like to try to to do things for me ALL the time. Take care of chores, make sure everything's running smooth, helping me out however he can even when I assure him he doesn't have to do anything. Ze just love to help!! That and just being in the same room together whatever we're doing is a very comfortable chill even if it's silent. But that comforting kind of silence, knowing he's nearby always.

Ador: He's similar to Idris in giving acts of service and quality time, but also a TON of words of affirmation. He's SUPER good with his words, speaks very properly and poetically, gives a TON of super romantic compliments and comments that make my heart leap at the simplest of words.

🧸- what is your oc f/os sleeping habits? do they like to cuddle? do they sprawl out on the bed? do they kick the blankets off in the middle of the night?

Well it's easy to answer for Idris and Ador, as Idris is an angel, so ze doesn't need to sleep, and Ador is an entity made of a magical material, so he also doesn't need to sleep, rather rest the form he takes and he can sleep but it's more like a meditation, and he doesn't do so often, only when I ask to cuddle and for him to stay in bed with me.

Ares though, he's a bit of a funny sleeper. First of all he usually stays up really late, unless I drag him to bed with me which, he does mostly and it's gotten him to even his sleep schedule out a little. He usually sleeps on his back, arms behind his head or facing me holding me in some way or pulling me onto his chest. He's very warm and cuddly.

🌈 - is your oc f/o queer? what labels do they use, if any?

Well they're all dating me, a man, and are also primarily masc so I should sure hope so! /J

But yes! All of them are!

Ares is omnisexual,

Idris is gay/MLM and demisexual and is Novarian gender (under the Galactian Alignment System), using he/him, they/them and ze/zeph!

Ador is gay/MLM as well as Gray/asexual. Despite being human, as he identifies as a man despite not having a biological gender to be assigned he is also trans coded :)

[jeongyunhoed]

Fic Tag Thing

thank you for the tag! @superconductivebean

How many works do you have on AO3? 29 as of now, and this is including all the fandoms I've written stuff for.

What's your total AO3 word count? 878,798 (what in the hell...)

What fandom do you write for? Hogwarts Legacy and HP as of late, Tokyo Revengers, but mostly K-Pop

Top 5 fics by kudos? All of these are K-Pop fics, 2 of which fall under my Old Hollywood AU so... The 100 Day Relationship Past-Present-Future I Do (The 100 Day Engagement) Daphne My Favorite Wife

Do you respond to comment? I try to respond if there are any. If I have mutuals that read my fic and leave their comments in the tags, I'd also PM them or give them a shoutout in the A/N of the next chapter.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I feel like I don't have something super angsty at the end... possibly something from my Twilight Zone AU, a chapter or two from that. If I do have angst, there's a happy ending.

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hmm...Probably The 100-Day Relationship.

Do you get hate on fics? My fics aren't popular enough to be hated on. There was one comment that seemed more like they were promoting this other platform that they write/read fics on, so I'm not sure that counts.

Do you write smut? I used to, both for fic reasons and professionally. Now I don't because I cringe at my writing and I just genuinely suck at writing that. I don't write anything really smutty anymore.

Craziest crossover? K-Pop and J-Ent? In Playing God 😂 Possibly my worst work.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope. At least I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Also no. For the very same reason that my fics aren't popular enough to warrant anyone asking to translate.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Uhhhh no I haven't.

All time favourite ship? I don't think I have a favorite one. Ominis/MC HAHAHAH

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? The Superhuman Army. Coincidentally, this is the fic that kickstarted my entire superpowers au. Ironic because I've written and finished the installments that followed except for this. And maybe The Shadow Man which was the last work before I rebranded my Superpowers AU.

What are your writing strengths? I'd ask other people who have read my works this. But if I recall correctly, some moots have noted my world-building as a strength. I also tend to write in simple terms, rather than make anything flowery or poetic because then I'd just seem like I'm trying too hard to sound good.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If it's a K-Pop fic, I always go with the belief that all the dialogue is in Korean until I highlight that it's otherwise.

First fandom you wrote in? Harry Potter.

Favourite fic you've written? Uhhh.... I would have to say my ATEEZ Twilight Zone AU.

no 20th? If you like Hogwarts Legacy, I have a fic, Yule Balls & Old Foes.

Tagging @syrooo , @ellivenollivander , and @applinsandoranges :D No pressure if you don't want to, though!

[maxwritesstuff]

Writeblr & Bookblr Introduction

First things first

Hi everyone! You can call me Max. I'm new to writeblr and bookblr but not new to Tumblr. For a while I existed in the rp space on this site, but fell off in favor of discord for a long time. I'm back here to try and get into things on Tumblr again. A LOT has changed, so bear with me! I'm pretty anxious about posting original works and regularly updating, but I'm hoping being a bit more public will help me, like it used to back in the fanfiction/AO3 days of my writing.

A few things about me that you can find on my page but I may as well put here:

I'm 28

I'm an Aries

I'm pan, in a wlw relationship

I reside in Florida (quite literally hell on earth)

I'll get a bit more detailed below on book and writing related things!

What I Read

Admittedly I don't read as much as I should or as much as I want to. Unfortunately a full time job, dog, girlfriend, and social life keep me fairly busy in times I would otherwise spend reading. That being said, a small selection of my more recent reads are as follows:

Currently Reading: Bitterthorn by Kat Dunn

I'm really enjoying this book so far. I'm only through the first section "Autumn" but I like Kat Dunn's voice and poetic pose a lot so far.

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (the whole series)

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (DNF)

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

My Year of Meats by Ruth Ozeki

Reinhardts Garden by Haber Mark

My Fav Genres:

Fantasy (High and Low)

Historical Fiction

Sci-Fi

Literary Fiction

Romance

Suspense

Satire

Dystopian

A few of my favorite fiction tropes:

Enemies to Lovers

LGBTQ+ Representation

High stakes

Reluctant hero

Forced proximity

Fake relationship

Marriage of convenience

Unreliable narrator

What I Write

My writing has a bit more of a narrow focus. I don't tend to write contemporary or lit fiction much though I do love internal character exploration and certainly try to use aspects of it in my writing. Usually my niche is fantasy, high or low, historical fiction. I adore world building and high fantasy settings, but I tend to get lost in the details and lose the passion for a world I'm building on my own before I get to the writing aspect of it.

I don't currently have any WIPs of original fiction. I've dabbled in the fanfic world semi-recently, but nothing put out on the internet. I think I want to start a low fantasy historical fiction work and play with the characters on this page, so hopefully I can do that soon!

I love intricate magic systems, so I'm going to have to give that a good bit of thought.

What I'm Looking For

I'm really kind of down for anything. Book club buddies, writing buddies to discuss and beta-read each others' work, you name it.

I'm super open to ask memes and prompts as well! I'll even list a few of my fandom interests here too, just in case (though I've never been particularly active in Fandom spaces)

Fandoms:

- the vampire diaries/the originals/legacies

- harry potter (I in no way support Rowling and her transphobic agenda; I only exist in the space in fandom)

- percy jackson

- voltron

- naruto

- TMNT

- stranger things

- the magicians

- she-ra

- bridgerton

[gringolet]

INTRO TO ARTHURIANA MASTERPOST

under the cut for absurd length

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH ARTHURIANA

The Arthuriana fandom is very broad and there's no one piece of media, which can be confusing for people just getting into it! There’s no right way to engage with arthuriana, and no minimum level of knowledge or reading you need to attain to qualify. 

The basis of the Arthurian Legend is a body of hundreds of texts written across the medieval and early Renaissance period in dozens of languages and cultural traditions. Which can seem pretty overwhelming, but there are a lot of modern vernacular translations-- you absolutely don’t have to learn old French or anything. I’ll go more in depth on where to get started with texts further down.

You also don’t have to read texts at all. As I said, there is no minimum basis-- if you prefer to engage with modern adaptations, or want to engage with medieval arthuriana outside of reading texts, that's also cool! 

In terms of modern adaptations there is a wealth of choices, which I am very much not an expert in lol, so I’m afraid I can’t give much in the way of reccs. Books I have heard good things about are, Exiled from Camelot, Idylls of the Queen, The Buried Giant, the Squire's Tale series, and Gawain by Gwen Rowley (warning that this one is apparently erotica? Good for him). I trust @princesslibs  for modern book reccomendations. and if you speak French Kaamelott is purportedly a very good tv show. Frankly no modern adaptation will ever be better than Spamalot to me, but that's just my personal take. 

If you are curious about engaging with texts but (understandably) don’t want to read a ton of dense medieval literature, one really cool resource is Norris J Lacy's New Arthurian Encyclopedia, which you can pick up at most used bookstores for under ten bucks. It’s a very thorough easy to look through reference of characters stories and texts. I know a lot of people like the Nightbringer wiki, though I personally am wary of it because it basically never cites sources. It’s a good quick reference though and a lot of people like it, I’d just take it with a grain of salt. Sparknotes also has a lot of summaries of the major texts like Le Morte D’Arthur and the romances of Chrétien De Troyes. You are not a fake fan for doing this I promise. And of course you’re always welcome to send me an ask <3 

Finally, getting started with texts. Quick glossary of terms:

--Verse Romance

    A verse (poem) story which can vary a great deal in length. These deal with the adventures of individual knights, usually Gawain, and tend to have a great deal of magical elements and the stereotypical monster slaying, questing, damosel rescuing knight adventures.

--Prose Novel or Romance

    A non poetic narrative, more like a modern novel, more likely to deal with the fall of Arthur, sword in the stone, Mordred, fall of Camelot sort of affair. They are usually quite long. Most famous of these are Le Morte D’Arthur and the French Vulgate, but there are a slew of late medieval Prose novels floating around. Eluding Rey.

--Pseudohistory

    I’m gonna b real these are boring I think. These are, as the name suggests, written as accurate depictions of history.  They very much are not, but they claim to be. Most famous of these is Jeffrey of Monmouth, Mr Jeff Mouth himself, and his History of the Kings of Britain, which I haven’t read because it bores me. You can if you want. It’s in Latin. Whatever. These tend to be some of the earliest texts, and include the “lives of saints” stories. Life of Gildas is the only funny one.

--Ballads

    These are only arguably texts, as most of them were written after the time of the “canon” being composed. But I like them. These are songs telling stories, recorded by people like Francis Child and Thomas Percy. They are very short and fun and include stories like The Boy and the Mantle, Kempion, and King Arthur and the King of Cornwall.

--Lai

    A specific type of French verse poem, usually quite short. The most famous collection of lais are those of Marie le France, including things like Bisclavret and Lanval. 

--Traditions

    Since Arthuriana was written all over, there are different literary traditions across time and space. The French tradition is one of the most famous, including works like the vulgate, Chretien and a lot of verse romances. The English tradition is one of the most influential on modern adaptations, including the Morte D’Arthur and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. There are also Welsh, German, Dutch, Hebrew, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Tagalog, Greek, Belarussian, Scottish, Irish, Breton, and probably even more. There’s a lot. It’s very cool and sexy.

A note that there is also a big tradition of Victorian revival Arthuriana. I wrote a starter guide to that here, it’s all very fun and like, aesthetic. 

Alright, now, which texts do you start with?

If you’re a little intimidated by long texts or medieval lit, starting with short verse romances in modern translation is a great place to start. These include Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which is very good and gay and well known, Lancelot and the Hart With The White Foot, which is very good and gay and underappreciated, or Lanval, which is homophobic but funny. 

If you want to start with what is considered the oldest King Arthur Story, Culwch and Olwen is short and fun!

If you want to read about the grail quest, you can start where it started with Story of the Grail or Percival, then the four continuations, Essenbachs Parzival, the vulgate version of the Grail quest which you can buy paperback for like 5 bucks (I can also scan my copy for you just shoot me an ask <3)

If you want to read about the fall of camelot, I have the Vulgate death of Arthur section scanned here. There’s also the Alliterative and Stanzaic mortes, which are in middle English. I have scanned Simon Armitage's Alliterative Morte translation here. I’m working on my own translation of the Stanzaic but it’s not done lol. If you want the first third or so DM me lol. King Artus is very short and readable and it’s a Jewish text which is really cool.

If you want to read about Lancelot, Chrétien de Troyes Lancelot is his first text. He also has a whole long vulgate section, the first part is scanned here by val <3, and there's Lanzelet,  Sebile is in it so it’s probably very good. He’s also basically the main character of Le Morte D’Arthur which I might as well talk about here uhm. It’s long and fun in places and boring in others but it does have like the version most modern adaptations take from and tells the whole story of Arthur and Camelot from beginning to end. The Keith Baines version scanned by val is the most readable but it is an abridgement I believe. people who like le morte usually read this version so its probably the best choice lol

If you want to read about Gawain, good news! He’s in basically everything. Even texts that aren’t supposed to be about Gawain are doomed to become The Gawain Show Featuring The Protagonist Of This Text As A Sidekick. Which is so funny of him. The Roman Van Walewein is very funny and long and Gawain™. I also recommend, L’atre Perilous, Diu Krone, Sir Gawain and the Turk, and I could go on but for brevity's sake let's start there. 

If you want to read about Tristan, go shoot an ask to Valentine @lanzelet on tumblr because Tristan scares me. 

Thank you to rey @gawain-in-green for helping me find links and put this together! They are also a super great resource for stuff and very cool and nice <3 They have a tag on their blog for full text resources so deffo look at that if you want more scans and links, and an info tag and tons of cool shit that is way better organized than my blog lol

Okay finishing this off, if you want content warnings for any texts, feel free to shoot an ask! I know medieval lit can be A Lot and there aren’t a lot of good warning systems, so if I’ve read it or know someone who has I can give you warnings if you want to read something but are understandably wary . <3

In terms of tagging, Arthuriana and Arthurian Legend are the main ones on tumblr. Arthurian Mythology is also used but tbh shouldn’t be. On Ao3, we’re trying to get our own Arthurian Literature tag but <3 its a whole thing. Anyway the tag is Arthurian Mythology, but I’ll b real, it’s kind of flooded with stuff that doesn’t really belong there, because even though it’s a fandom tag other people unknowingly tag stuff as Arthurian Mythology when it’s like, a knight au. Which is not their fault bc it’s confusing but, ah, alas. ANyhow, feel free to drop in my inbox anytime with questions, suggestions, reccs, etc!

Okay godspeed!! Have fun reading, watching, browsing, etc! 

[thoughtfulfangirling]

January 2021 Books

I tend not to come to dislike or hating things very easily. Generally, the things I try, I can find a lot I like in them and go with the flow. I feel like it doesn’t make me very good about recommending things because I’m not too picky once I get invested in things, but here are my takes on the books I’ve read this month. (I can be super picky about what I pick up in the first place, but once I overcome that and get a foothold in something, the above applies.)

Anyway, belatedly, here’s last months reads and blurbs on my thoughts under the cut (long)

1. A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas

I somehow didn’t realize this was YA. It has the plot simplicity I’m used to seeing in YA but it definitely got darker and more sexual than I would have expected for the genre. I actually rather appreciate this series for that reason. It did some things alternatively I didn't expect and was quite delighted by it. Fantasy, romance (f/m), fairies, light political intrigue (setup for book 2), etc.. I have since read book 2 and would have caveats about this depending on who was interested.

2. This is How you Lose a Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone

This was amazing! A quick read of poetic language and dark love across sci fi warring factions. Primarily told through a series of letters exchanged back and forth between protagonists and focused on the characters.

3. Sparrow Hill Road by Seanan McGuire

What a great ghost story! it's told a lot like a series of short stories that come together into a winding narrative of a ghost's journey through the roads of America. Heavily American mythology vibes. Fascinating world building, intriguing characters, and beautiful message and arc. I'm thinking I might pick up more from this series in October. I got pointed in this book's direction due to how the way the book is structure feeling like a great depiction of trauma and how things get segmented and out of order and intangible, and it was just a really neat book. Would definitely recommend.

4. No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder

I’ve now read a fair amount on the topic of domestic abuse, but they have largely focused on the individuals involved, and while this book does pick particular individuals as an example of extreme DV, this book zoomed out and looked at this problem from a broader perspective, talking about stats and looking at environmental and systemic factors. It’s a dark book that gets heavy and dissects sensitive situations but didn’t feel like it failed to humanize the issue, sometimes more so than a reader may expect. I definitely found it an insightful and interesting read. It’s the first book in quite a long time that was a physical book I held in my hands. I expected I might struggle too much between it not being audio and being nonfiction, but I moved through it quite quickly.

5. Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins

This was a re-read. It’s a cute little wlw class romance. I think I read it in 2018, and it was fun to revisit. It’s a quick read with some enjoyable characters, and for those who do audiobooks, some cute accents. 

6. The Magician’s Assistant by Ann Patchett

This was a beautiful story about grief and the way our connections open us up to new possibilities and changes in our lives if only we’ll reach out grasp them. It’s a slow paced story, functioning mostly in the internal monologue of our protagonist dealing with the loss of the man she’s loved and the things she comes to find out she didn’t know about him. 

7. Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

This was another reread, doing a chapter an evening with Empty. It helped so much to listen to this a second time between being able to see the pieces put down and not listening to it at such stressful times and in such a fragmented way. I love how it is somehow a puzzle, a haunting, and a journey of growth in an old relationship that seemed doomed to fail in so many ways. Plus I love big, sarcastic, sentimental butch disaster Gideon so goddamn much. XD 

8. Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova

This was very enjoyable, but I can definitely tell that I’ve outgrown a lot of YA. It’s not that there’s anything wrong these stories-I would have loved to have grown up with this book-it’s just that it lacked a complexity I’m getting used to and that I look for in these stories. I’m so glad though to be seeing more writers of color writing experiences and characters more like them getting attention in the literary world, and I will continue to find reading these stories worth it to get glimpses into that, but I wish I saw more of this sort of hype for these writers around more adult books. It’s out there I’m sure; I just have to find it yet. Working on it! But for a YA reader I think this is a great story. I like the worldbuilding so much and the costs of the magic and the journey. I might still have to check out book two when I need an easier read. 

9. Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist by Franchesca Ramsey

I’ve been holding onto a hard copy borrowed from a friend of this for well over a year now. I got this book around the same time I got my hands on So you Want to Talk About Race and thought they were going to have very similar contents. I was incorrect. Well, That Escalated Quickly is much more about what it means to have a popular online presence. It was a really great read in a time when being online is, right now, for many of us, the only consistent way we can interact with others. I really appreciated her sharing her stories of her mess ups both as someone who needed to be called out and as someone who, for a time, was considered a ‘call out queen’ and her thoughts on community responsibility and bearing responsibility on both ends of those spectrums: it’s not just a person who messes up who bears a responsibility to act with community goals in mind to reduce harm, but also the responsibility of those who call out and when and how those might look for most effectiveness for change, personal wellbeing, and community responsibility. (The term community responsibility I’m using probably comes more from Conflict is not Abuse than this book, but I could very well see this book being a great primer for Conflict is not Abuse and might rec this to someone not yet ready for the later.) 

10. A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas

This book was a roller coaster. I started off really excited about some ideas and themes it was exploring that I don’t really see done hardly ever and was really intrigued. About a third of the way through, it did something that I felt very much undermined one of the themes I was enjoying a lot, and up until the very end, I was very close to deciding against reading book three. At pretty much that last minute though, it intrigued me enough to want to see how a thing would be played out and a resolution would be found. I don’t even know if I’d say I super liked the book and thus series by the time I was done reading this one, but I was intrigued. Sometimes I get the feeling the author doesn’t trust her audience and spells certain things out way too much, sometimes to the detriment of the plot, and I’m really not a fan of the ‘so totally outclassed, all odds staked against the heroes’ thing that’s pulled in this book that comes out of nowhere and when this time we actually have powerful characters but here we are. I don’t think I’d actually recommend the series to others unless I knew their tastes aligned well, but I think I will be finishing it. 

[recurring-polynya]

Loved reading your comments on that Izuru post, especially about how people write teasing. You gave some great examples of things to definitely avoid; do you have any tips or general thoughts on writing good teasing?

I have never wanted to talk about anything more in my life.

Teasing is a form of dysfunctional communication that reveals a lot about all the parties involved. It can be layered and complicated, and it can both establish a lot about the relationships of your characters, and provide jumping off points for both bonding and miscommunication.

The most important things to think about when writing teasing are:

What is the teasing character trying to evoke? (this may be conscious or subconscious)

What are the sore points/not sore points of the character being teased?

What am I, the writer, trying to accomplish here?

Let’s start with a very easy example:

Draco Malfoy wants to make Harry Potter mad, so he teases him about his dead mom. J. K. Rowling’s goal as a writer is to convince you that Draco is a dick. It’s super-effective.

It’s a low-blow. It’s deeply mean. There’s no subtlety. This is just bullying. We have all experienced this, we know it when we see it. I don’t think this is the kind of teasing you were asking about, but it’s important to establish this as a baseline, because this is what teasing can turn into, if done wrong.

We can tweak this a little to a very different effect:

Draco wants to make Hermione upset, so he calls her a mudblood. 

Harry doesn’t know what this word means, is confused.

Herminione knows this is an insult, but most plays it off. It’s not culturally significant to her and also, she DNGAF about Draco.

Ron goes spare. This is a huge insult to him, he loves his friends, and he has no chill.

Draco is still a dick, but he’s also kind dumb and focuses on insults that would be insulting to him because he doesn’t know his enemy very well and also is not good at thinking outside of his own head.

Now we have fit in exposition and a ton of character-building. Neat!

Let’s move on to friendly teasing. Here are some positive roles teasing can play:

Replacing uncomfortable tension in a group. Often you may have one character in the group who is an outsider for some reason. Perhaps they were a former antagonist, or someone who has some fundamental difference between the characters. Teasing, particularly over something incredibly low stakes and stupid, gives a reason for the outside character to be mildly irritated with the others, which makes it easier for them to relax the actual tension they feel by being in a group where they don’t belong. Think Aang shouting “Flameo, Hotman!” at Zuko or everyone making fun of Uryuu’s cape.

Finding comfort in being marginalized. This is closely related to self-deprecating humor, and a character shouldn’t say something about someone else if they wouldn’t say about themself. Also, characters are going to have different comfort levels with this. I will make jokes about how bisexually I dress and the way that I sit, but I don’t go around shouting “Oh my God, that’s super gay!” although I certainly have gay friends that do. This is a way you can establish how comfortable a character is in that identity, but it can be fraught, and if you don’t have some personal experience with the identity you’re writing about, I would avoid going too hard. In Bleach, I will often have characters from Rukongai bond a little more easily, and make fun of some of the more formal aspects of life in the Seireitei when there are no nobles around. Further, Rukia and Renji super low-class, even among the Rukongai crowd (only Zaraki and Yachiru are lower, and I have never once read a fanfic of Kenpachi and Renji bonding over this, and I’m mad about it), and so when I have them calling each other trashbags and lowlifes, it’s a case of “I can make fun of you because we come from the same mudpit, but I will cut anyone else who says this about you.”

Allowing characters to present in a way that they choose.  We sometimes invent roles for ourselves that we want others to see. I do this a lot with Renji-- when he comes to the big city, he’s a big, rough, scary dude. I am 100% sure he broke peoples’ limbs in Inuzuri. But he wants to be liked and he wants to be approachable, especially now that he’s a vice-captain, so he puts on kind of a big dumb oaf routine, and all his friends support him in this by making jokes about skipping leg day and calling him a dope and a goob. These are not hurtful insults, because this is how he chooses to present himself.

Leveling group dynamics.  Related to the previous item, a lot of times, friend groups require people to fulfill different roles in order to keep everything running smoothly. Take for example, the Renji - Momo - Izuru - Shuuhei friendship. They come from a lot of different backgrounds, they’ve each had a lot of different personal challenges, and the friendship has lasted a loooooong time. Izuru has a lot more money and class than the rest of them. Shuuhei is the oldest. I bet Momo got extremely full of herself when she became Aizen’s vice-captain. Renji lagged the rest of them in becoming vice-captain, but then, he came out of the Aizen debacle in better shape than everyone else. We can’t all confront all these complex interpersonal dynamics all the time, sometimes you just wanna hang out at the bar and drag each other a little, and it’s comfortable and relaxing to just fall back on personas. Everyone teases Renji for being dumb and strong, Shuuhei for being hot and dramatic, Izuru for being pasty and poetic, Momo for being organized and congenitally unable to break a rule. A great place to insert drama is when you have a character who has outgrown these dynamics, who is sick of playing a role within a friend group-- old jokes that used to gloss over uncomfortable matters are suddenly causing the discomfort.

Play. A lot of teasing is honestly just for fun. Scoring points on your friends. In this case, the teasing can be as harsh or soft as you like, although the harsher you go, the more you risk actually hurting someone’s feelings (again, story hook!) I love this as an example:

Ichigo tries to tease Orihime over old bread of all things. Orihime is fireproof, she knows Ichigo loves her old bread and also is incapable of delivering a sick burn, but then Ishida and Chad just pile on, suck it, Ichigo, we all know who runs this group of nakama.

As a writer, this is your chance to show off your humor chops! The purposes of these scenes is not just to show your friendships, but to have fun and be funny! Having characters just call each other names is not really funny. In this example, Ichigo is trying to be cool, and his crew, none of whom are remotely cool, all hit the OBJECTION button hard at the same time and it’s hilarious.

Giving friendships age.  People you have been friends with for ages know things about you. Have characters bring up embarrassing stories. Tease each other about the way they used to be, but no longer are. This is also a powerful way to distinguish between an old friendship that is still going strong, and one that has gone stale, but persists, perhaps for nostalgia reasons, where the teasing rankles. Maybe your story wants to resurrect this friendship, or maybe you want to show a character moving on. This is also a way to add exposition: Say Character A, who is usually very casual, dresses up for a fancy event. You can have Character B rib them about how they have never seen them looking so good. Then you can have Character A react in a number of ways: self-conscious or defensive, perhaps, or they could be flirty and brag about how nice they clean up, it’s up to you!

Giving friendships depth.  Best friends can say things that other friends and casual acquaintances can’t, in part because they have a keen understanding of how to hurt each other (and how not to). A key in portraying different levels of friendships is boundaries, and a great dramatic tool is bumping up against those boundaries. In general, I have Renji let Rukia tease him about nearly everything, but occasionally, she’ll bring up what a glory-hound he was in their school days, and he freezes up every time. She can’t really figure this out, because he’s usually game for letting her pick on his dumbass teen boy behavior and she can’t figure out how this is any different. The thing is, he’s never told her that the reason he was busting his ass was to impress her and to be able to get a good job and provide for her, and it blew up in his face, and he can’t very well admit that now, without having to admit a lot of other stuff, too. ::holds fist in the air:: This is the good stuff.

A corollary, tired jokes.  Rukia is 4’9” tall and she must be sick to death of hearing about it. It’s so obvious and so lame. It sucks being short, it’s a huge inconvenience on a daily basis, especially when your job involves trying to be tough and intimidating. It’s not like she chose this for herself. This is the lowest possible hanging fruit of teasing. But that doesn’t mean we need to ignore it completely. I have characters like Ikkaku, who doesn’t know her all that well, and is also an ass, throw it at her a lot, and mostly she either sighs and rolls her eyes, or she insults him back. Now, if Renji never mentioned it, it would feel like he was tiptoeing around it, which Rukia would be offended by. She’s not humorless, just tired. So, instead, I will only have him make short jokes if a) they are actually funny, or b) it’s a situation where the joke is really obvious and they’ll usually follow up with something like “I had to.” The idea is that, as best friend and chief trash talker, he’s contractually obligated to make the joke, but he finds it almost as tired as she does. Also, I turn it around a lot by having her make fun of him for being tall, as though being 6’2” is some sort of embarrassment and that he did it on purpose, and he just takes it.

This is real. My husband and I were in a very similar professional field, and he makes more than me, even though I have more education and work harder, and he lets me make fun of what a useless white dude he is, but if he sees it coming, he will definitely make a “you can’t do math because you’re a woman” joke, which he obviously doesn’t think is true. Only he is allowed to do this. It is very cathartic. We also make jokes about how he will never truly be successful because he is short.

I don’t write Ichigo as much, but I approach this a little differently with him, a) because he hasn’t been friends with Rukia for as long, or on such a day-to-day basis that he knows how much this irritates her, and b) he’s a teen. Instead, I try to have him actually put some effort into his jokes, like calling her Shorty McCaptainface. “Shortstack” and fun-sized/travel-sized/adventure-sized (for your convenience) are much more gentler and playful. 

Please, please, I beg you, do not use “midget.” It’s not a nice word and it’s so, so tired.

All of this goes generally for other types of characters with the kind of physical characteristics that tactless people feel free to comment (being fat, wearing glasses, having prominent teeth, etc), or experience structural discrimination. Just think about how you would like your best friend to handle it.

Arright, it’s time to hit the elephant in the room: Teasing that leads into romance.  This was such a huge trope when I was a kid, I grew up steeped in this idea of “a boy teases you because he likes you,” and I’m honestly glad we’re starting to move past this as a culture. You can still have a fun and teasing relationship without being mean, which I will get to, but let’s start with the OG couple of teasing because they like each other: Ranma and Akane. Now, as it happens, I have been re-watching Ranma ½ with my husband, who had never seen it, and on one hand, this show is a pioneer, it is amazing in terms of comedic beats, but on the other hand, it’s aged quite a bit and smacks of “I hate my wife” Boomer humor with a heavy helping of “no homo!” slathered on top. So, here’s how it works:

Ranma and Akane have been forced into an engagement by their fathers. Despite the fact that they have pretty similar and compatible personalities, they get off on the wrong foot, compounded by the fact that they are each deeply insecure about their gender presentations. They are each also profoundly stubborn. So, what happens, every single episode, is that one or the other will do something kind or heroic for the other, and the other’s heart will go “oh SHIT I like them but to reveal so would be to present vulnerability” so they insult each other instead. The insults that Ranma and Akane fling at each other are deeply hurtful and they are super-effective. Now, the one who has taken the risk of going out on a limb for the other has now been lambasted for their efforts, and responds with more insults. This is the fundamental tension of the show: they like each other and are terrified to admit it, so they force the other apart.

Now, as the show progresses, my memory is (and forgive me if I get this wrong, we’re still pretty close to the beginning, and as far as the long game goes, I am sure my memory is contaminated by too much fanfic), far, far down the road, when they eventually come to understand each other better, when Ranma tells Akane she’s an uncute, tomboy, she’s able to parse that as “I like you so much and I want to say so, but seriously, you know how ridiculous my upbringing was,” and when she responds with “You pervert!”, Ranma knows she is really saying “I know that, and also, you do not need to feel self-conscious about your girl form, I’m kinda into that.”

This is essentially a slow burn tactic. You need a tremendous amount of time to build out this kind of relationship. A lot of people try to skip straight from “characters insult each other!” to “characters are in love, they just couldn’t admit it!” and it does not work, especially if you reader is a person who has ever been in a shitty relationship. I would not want to be with someone who called me hurtful names. The fact that they were trying to cover up the fact that they did it because they liked me is not romantic. It says to me, “this person does not treat the people they love well.” Writers, we can do better.

Teasing creates tension, as I said, and it is often that case that we use it to trade a feeling we can’t handle for one that we can. For Ranma and Akane, they are trading attraction for combativeness. They can’t admit they like each other because they are deeply stubborn and also because they are very, very immature.

Conversely, characters may tease to deflect their feelings because of outside forces that they have no control of. 

Rukia is fundamentally uncomfortable expressing her feelings. She had no parents. She has no experience with unconditional love, which is pretty essential for healthy childhood development. I’ve talked before about my Rukongai headcanon that it was taboo to openly express affection, because it is a brutal and dangerous town and to love is to show weakness. In this case, teasing can play a fundamental role. As children, if she started to express something that strays too close to an earnest emotion or attachment, Renji might respond with “Aaah, shut up, you sap.”

This is not mean-spirited. Renji is acknowledging that he hears her, he recognizes her feeling and prevents her from breaking the taboo. The teasing helps Rukia to save face. This creates a blind spot in their friendship, however. They know each other extremely well, they have a thorough read on each other’s moods and motivations and body language, but because they’ve never, ever been able to talk frankly about their emotions, they are both stuck in this place where they can’t tell if they like each other romantically and they don’t know how to bridge that gap. They don’t need to be mean to each other, but they are unable to progress because they keep blowing off the difficult conversations they ought to be having.

Keep in mind, I am keeping the teasing at low to medium stakes. It’s also difficult, because they’ve been apart for so long, that there are some topics that aren’t safe anymore, and sometimes they don’t realize that until after they’ve accidentally hurt each other’s feelings, again, an opportunity for some mild plot drama that’s based on misunderstanding, rather than these people are assholes.

Rukia’s relationship with Ichigo is very similar. Ichigo is also terrible at expressing feelings, partly because of his mom’s death, his dad is his dad, and he is a teen. I have read a lot of arguments that he’s neurodiverse, and frankly, I’m for that, too. I tend to characterize their friendship as very intense. They haven’t known each other very long, but they just have a lot of feelings, OKAY?! They have saved each other’s lives in very dramatic ways, they feel that they owe the other in ways they can never repay, and they just friggin’ like the heck out of each other, but their lives are also fundamentally incompatible, starting with the fact that Rukia is dead and Ichigo is alive. 

So, when I am writing them bantering, one of my go-tos is to have them make fun of each other’s chosen planes of existence. “Why do you keep juice in boxes?” Rukia demands, as if it’s somehow Ichigo’s fault. “You can’t even ride a bike, you idiot,” Ichigo might rib her, as if she even knows what a bike is. What they are really doing here, is pushing against the fact that they have chosen to live separate existences and they’re honestly a little upset about that. “It’s dumb that we can’t hang out all the time,” is what they are saying. “I understand your decision, but I’m still gonna make fun of you.” This is incredibly low-stakes dragging, and also it’s a good place to be funny. I’m sure you have had someone make fun of your school or your job or your town in a way that you feel the need to defend it, and then you’re like “why am I defending this, it really is dumb, actually?” 

One last thing, which is to think a lot about the word choices you use in your teasing, and try to organize them by intensity. My go-tos are “dummy” and “dumbass” because they get the point across, but they aren’t particularly mean and they are very generic. I also like slightly silly ones like “dunderhead” or “lunk” or “goob” or “doofus.” Paired insults are fun-- have one character greet another as “What’s up, nerd?” and have the first respond with “How’s it hanging, jock?”  “Stupid” is slightly meaner, but I will often use it if one character is being self-deprecating, I will have the other respond “don’t be stupid,” or something like that, where it’s reassurance disguised as trash-talk. You can temper harder insults with tone: e.g., “You moron,” Rukia said affectionately. 

Some people call their friends “bitch” humorously, and that’s a kind of friendship you can certainly choose to portray, but think hard about if that fits your characters and your writing style first. I try to avoid gendered insults; sometimes I’ll have villians use them, but even so, do we need to? Maybe not. Don’t use hurtful words unless your teaser actually intends to hurt (whether or not it’s effective).

And remember, you don’t even need to use insults to tease (or to hurt, for that matter)! Think about how your character would react to be called “fancy.” Or “cute.” Or “rustic.” Tease them about the apron they wear for cooking, or the fact that they don’t know how to use a cell phone, or their terribly out-of-style footwear. Also, it can be just as fun to have your character respond to teasing by leaning into it, or laughing back, or riffing, they don’t have to just get pissed off. 

This post is so long. I am so sorry. Go write some teasing. Have fun. I can’t wait to read it.

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Falling for You has Never been So Literal

Ao3 link

Summary: Virgil's too gay for this shit. He's outie. (Or Virgil saw a hottie. What's he supposed to do? Stay conscious? Unrealistic) Warnings: Fainting, gay too much, swearing, breaking promises (but in the best way possible don’t worry) Parings: Romantic sleepxiety, platonic prinxiety

Inspired by @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors being just Too Gay and also fueling my inability to not write Too Gay 

It had been a long day. Nothing new, of course- it was retail. What did Virgil expect? To be shown basic human decency? Unrealistic.

His shift only had an hour left to it, however, and Virgil was just hoping that his next customers could not be dicks. Was that too much to ask?

Speaking of demons, Virgil heard the sound of clicking approaching his stand, a lovely little spot shoved near one of the back corners of the store. There wasn't much to actually purchase here, so if someone was coming, it was almost definitely a customer approaching.

Mental fingers crossed for some very basic interaction that did not involve asking him to lower prices or any other crappy thing someone could come up with, Virgil ducked his head and waited for the customer to start handing over their soon-to-be purchases. A little awkward, yes, but what could he say? He wasn't a big fan of eye contact.

"I hope you found everything to your satisfaction." Virgil mumbled. Company policy to ask. He thought it was a little stupid, given customers who had a problem had a tendency to just tell you that, but it was still policy, and Virgil still didn't want to be fired just yet.

"Everything was just fine, darlin', thanks for asking." The customer replied as Virgil scanned through their purchases. Mostly just coffee beans and a few bottles of nail polish.

"That's good." Virgil said back, slightly more cognizant of the conversation. Responding wasn't strictly required, but it was preferred. And, well, he wasn't just going to say the customer had a nice voice, that would be weird, but, well... he was definitely thinking it.

Caught up in his totally not gay thoughts, Virgil finished the bagging automatically, pushing the groceries to the side as he punched in a few more things on the register. Finally, he actually looked up at the customer, about to ask how they planned on paying today.

His voice dried up in his throat before he even had the chance to use it, however, which probably had something to do with the fact that idling at his station was arguably the prettiest man he had ever seen.

The customer, aka Hottie McHottieFace, was sporting the absolutely most basic jeans, shirt, and (leather) jacket combo Virgil had ever seen, but it looked very, very good on him. Sunglasses were criminally hiding eyes that Virgil was relatively sure would kill him if he saw them, and his dark brown hair was pulled into a braid over his shoulder.

Worst of all, the customer was smirking at Virgil, intent probably harmless, but the consequences most certainly not.

Virgil wasn't sure how long he stood there, wordlessly gaping, face steadily turning into a cherry, but eventually the customer asked, voice teasing, "See somethin' you like, hun?"

Words, that's right, Virgil had to say words while looking at someone or it was rude. But upon moving his mouth, Virgil found that was apparently not a thing he could do anymore. He was fairly sure he was making some noises, but they were definitely not building themselves into any thing understandable

The whole 'clearly trying to speak and failing' thing wasn't going unnoticed by Hottie McHottieFace, who propped their sunglasses up with a frown and oh Virgil is not making it out of this alive, not when those sparkling green eyes were watching him, even if they were looking very concerned.

"Hey, uh... are you alright?" The customer asked, and Virgil would have loved to tell them absolutely not, please either leave or hold me, but then he reached over the counter to lightly place a hand on Virgil's arm, seemingly worried Virgil was going to fall over, and that was it. Virgil was out.

Virgil didn't completely remember how he went from standing and dying at his stand to lying, assumedly dead, on the floor, but he did remember the cause of it.

He reached a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, groaning. Great. Super. Couldn't wait to explain this to his boss. 'Fainted because of gay.' He should get himself a sign. 'If you're cute do not shop here, please and thank you, the cashier is liable to fainting like an absolute fool if you do.'

"You up, babes?"

Oh. Virgil knew that voice.

Was it possible to faint again if you were already on the ground?

Instead of doing that, Virgil settled for shooting up like he had heard free money was being handed out. More black spots danced across his vision the minute he did that, something he really should have seen coming, but it was already pretty clear his brain was functioning on 'fried-by-the-gay' mode, and his common sense was severely lacking.

"Woahhhh, let's slow down there." Hottie McHottieFace said, gently pushing against Virgil's chest to get him to lie back down, as if he had already forgotten the exact reason why Virgil fainted in the first place. Hottie smirked. "I know I sound like an angel, but I really don't want to see you have another fainting spell. Especially considering you've already stuck me here for five minutes with your first one."

Virgil cringed a little at that, going to apologize, but Hottie waved him off before he could even open his mouth.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not 'stuck' here." He said, smirk turning into more of a genuine smile. "I just figured it was pretty bad manners to just leave you." The smile turned smug once more, "I apologize also for the angel bit. I know I sound like one, but it really isn't fair to say that without pointing out you look like one."

Dead.

Virgil was dead.

Right?

This simply could not be real.

Grasping for literally anything he could use to stop the blush that was beginning to regrow across his face, Virgil finally noticed that Hottie, who was sitting next to him so that he didn't have to sit up to see him, was now only sporting his jeans and shirt.

"J-jacket." Virgil said. He hoped it sounded like a question. He also hoped Hottie just didn't hear him, because if his first words to him after all of this was 'jacket' he might as well just die of embarrassment right now.

Hottie raised an eyebrow, however, looking confused for a second before realizing what Virgil meant. "Where's my jacket?" He asked in confirmation, and Virgil nodded. Hottie's smirk only grew. "Did you think you were laying on a bag of flour, or...?"

Now it was Virgil's turn to look confused. Laying on... oh, there was something under his head.

Oh.

Oh.

Kill him now. Please.

"Oh, good. Your processing skills are still intact." Hottie pointed out helpfully, glancing off towards a different end of the store. "Your boss said that was a thing I should keep track of, or something." Hottie glanced back at Virgil. "He's worried you gave yourself a concussion."

The salty part of Virgil would have loved to inform Hottie if anyone had given him a concussion, it would have been Hottie himself, since Virgil certainly hadn't planned for it. But the salty part was still barred by the fact he was currently working with one word per minute speaking wise.

"EMTs got called, too." Hottie added. "I mean, I assume you already saw that coming, but a head's up probably can't hurt."

Shit. Other people. If anything was going to stop him from being 100% a flustered mess, it would be the thought of having to interact with people he preferred not to tell the exact cause of his fainting spell.

Of course, he was still going to be roughly 94% flustered, but it was something.

Virgil moved to sit up, slowly this time, still gaining a very worried look from Hottie that he waved off. "I'm fine." He said, and his voice sounded like he had been screaming for an hour, but it was working, and that was pretty good if he did say so himself.

"Uh huh." Hottie said, disbelievingly, even as Virgil managed to get himself into a sitting position without falling back over. "Just be careful. I think your boss is going to kill me if he finds you fainted. Again."

"Why would he kill you?"

Hottie shrugged. "Beats me, sugar, but he seems to think I sabotaged your ability to remain awake. Don't know why, though, since that's a little ridiculous sounding, don't ya think?"

Ridiculous sounding, yes. Accurate? Also yes.

Virgil coughed. "Uh. Yeah. Ridiculous."

Luckily, Hottie didn't seem to pick up on his obvious bluff, holding out his hand instead. "Remy. Remy Starbucks."

Virgil raised an eyebrow as he took the hand. "Virgil. Is your last name really...?"

Remy laughed, and Virgil had to focus very hard on the fact that EMTs would be coming soon and he could absolutely not be flustered again, because Remy laughing was... nice just leave it at nice Virgil, damnit, if you start waxing poetic about him you're never going to stop looking flustered for the rest of your life.

"Nah, babes." Remy said as he released Virgil's hand, sitting back. "While it has been a spectacular ten minutes with you, you have spent half of them doing a very good impression of me without my coffee, and the other half mostly failing to speak. I'm not supposed to just hand out my last name to every good looking stranger I meet, now am I?"

Virgil fought down the sudden urge to give Remy his last name. He was 100% certain it wasn't nearly as sly of a move as he thought it was... but it would be a move.

Virgil was saved from making a decision on just how disastrous he wanted to be by the sound of someone approaching, quickly followed by his manager coming up behind Remy. He crouched down when he actually got to them, offering Virgil a bottle of water he readily accepted. "How are you feeling?"

Virgil shrugged as he drank the water. "Fine."

His manger frowned. "Yeah. That's why you fainted. You just felt too fine."

No, I fainted because the customer was too fine. Virgil thought in annoyance. Get your facts right.

"Listen, I am fine." Virgil repeated. "I just..." He glanced over at Remy, who was apparently also interested in the reason behind him fainting. "Just, uh... tired."

"You were tired?" His managed replied.

Virgil nodded his head as seriously as he could. "Just didn't get enough sleep last night, I guess." He said, hoping the lie wouldn't be too obvious. Probably helped his case he always looked tired, at least.

His manager didn't look entirely impressed, but it was deemed good enough. "Alright. Well, you still have to wait for the EMTs to make sure you don't have any serious head injuries from your fall, but assuming they clear you, consider your shift off for the day. Actually, take tomorrow too." The manager threw in. "Take a nap. I can't have my employees fainting on me become a common thing."

Virgil gave him a mostly sarcastic salute as his manager stood back up, glancing towards the nearest doors as the sound of sirens approached. "I'm going to go grab them." He said, heading off once more.

Remy watched him run off before turning back to Virgil. "So, can I assume you've got this all under control?" He asked, adding, "Under control as in you don't need random customer who's done nothing but sit around and be snarky to stick around?"

"You don't have to stay, no." Virgil answered, immediately panicking barely a second after the words were out of his mouth, rushing to continue with, "But, uh, my manager might, um, want to give you something as thanks for, y'know, sitting next to me." He said, angrily fighting off his once-more rising blush.

"Yeah. I'm sure that's the only reason I should stay." Remy said, voice lilting and wow here Virgil was, a dumbass, really thinking he really had a chance to survive this experience when he had a million dumb gay brain cells. "But as nice as a five dollar coupon would be, I have a meeting I can't miss, so I'm 'fraid I'll have to skip it."

"Oh, yeah, of course." Virgil said, trying not to sound disappointed. "You should, uh, you should really go then. Don't want to be late or anything."

"I'm already late, doll, don't worry about that." Remy said, winking at Virgil before he flipped his sunglasses back over his eyes. "Fashionably so, of course."

"Of course." Virgil echoed automatically.

Remy scooped up his bag of groceries, which had been lying next to him, and snagged his jacket from where it was sitting, folded up and at the moment useless, behind Virgil. Before standing up, however, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a receipt paper and handing it to Virgil.

"I know I'm supposed to keep that, but it was the only paper I had on me." Remy said with a smirk as he stood up. "If you really need to fulfill your cashier duties, though, well, I hear you have tomorrow off. Call me. We'll make a date of it." Remy said, blowing Virgil a kiss before turning and walking away. He stopped right before the doors, taking a moment to look back one last time and add, "Oh, and feel better, sweetie," before he was truly gone.

Virgil moved a hand to his face, unhappy but not in the least surprised to find it burning. Hand still on face, he looked down at the receipt he had been given, only to find some very swirly writing declaring the number scrawled across it to be Remy's. Virgil didn't know how, but somehow his face got even warmer.

Virgil was still busy trying not to die when he heard a group approaching, glancing over at the doors to see his manager returning with two EMTs. Stuffing the receipt in his pocket, he tried to look as alright as he claimed.

He considered it quite rude the first thing they mentioned was how red he looked.

Twenty minutes later and too many questions about why he had fainted (complete with one of the EMTs asking him suspiciously if being tired was all that had caused it in a tone Virgil didn't care very much for) and Virgil was finally free to go home.

Well. Free to go home as soon as someone picked him up, since apparently being tired enough to faint at random posed a serious risk to his driving ability and he wasn't allowed to do that. He was tempted to just drive home anyways, but his manager apparently didn't want anymore liabilities on his watch, and had helpfully taken Virgil's keys away.

So he was waiting.

Eventually, after ten minutes that had felt like forever, a car pulled up to the curb in front of the store, stopping in front of him. Even if he didn't already know what his roommate's car looked like, the Disney stickers plastered over literally every surface of it was all the identification Virgil needed.

He pulled open the passenger door and slumped into the seat, not surprised to find the Frozen soundtrack playing. After a minute where the car didn't start moving, Virgil glanced at Roman in annoyance.

"Are you going to go?"

"Not until you buckle-up, buttercup." Roman replied, sing-song.

Virgil sneered. "Why?"

"So I don't get a ticket just because you're lazy and angsty." Roman replied. "And don't say you're not being angsty, because I just know you were about to say you're not going to do anything that'll increase your chances of remaining in this 'dark, joyless world.'" Roman said the last bit much more dramatically than Virgil felt he had to, leaning back and putting the back of his hand to his forehead with a melodramatic sigh.

"I don't talk like that." Virgil said defensively.

"No, you just say those words." Roman agreed. "But not with nearly enough emotion. I'm just trying to make you seem exciting."

"That goes against everything I stand for."

"Just put on your seatbelt."

Virgil grumbled some more, but he did as requested, happy when Roman actually started them moving. For a few minutes, everything was fine, Roman's music a little loud but Virgil having long since learned that trying to turn it down only resulted in Roman singing it louder.

When Roman reached out and turned it down, however, Virgil knew he was in for twenty questions, a game he really didn't want to play when the final answer was 'fainted out of gay.' Roman would literally never let it go.

"So." Roman started, trying to sound casually conversational and failing entirely. "You fainted."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Fuck you, Watson." Roman replied before pushing on, "You don't do that a lot."

"Thank you, Capt' Obvious."

Roman rolled his eyes. "I just wanted to ask why, Fainting Beauty."

Virgil shrugged non-committedly. "'Tired."

Roman side-eyed Virgil. "You don't faint when you get tired, though. You get more and more grumpy until someone wrestles you to bed." Roman said, only speaking a little (read: a lot) from experience. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Which means you're lying about why you fainted, which means the real reason must be-"

"-Unimportant." Virgil cut him off. "Something happened, I fainted, and I don't have a concussion. End of story."

"I don't think it is." Roman said, grinning. "Come on. You know I'm not going to let this go. You might as well tell me."

Virgil glared at Roman, annoyed that he was right. Roman wouldn't drop the matter for weeks if that's what it took to figure out the real story. He sighed. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"I swear it on my brother's grave!"

"Your brother's not dead."

"I swear it on my brother!"

"You're just going to take the name of Patton in vain like that?"

Roman huffed in annoyance. "No sense of dramatics in you at all." He complained. "I promise, alright, just spill the tea already."

Virgil hunched in on himself a bit, feeling silly as he admitted, quietly, "It was a cute guy."

"What did you say?"

Virgil cleared his throat and said again, louder, "It was a cute guy."

"I'm sorry, you're really going to have to speak up-"

"I SAID IT WAS A CUTE GUY."

Roman smirked. "Heard you the second time."

Virgil punched his arm. "Jerk."

"I know." Roman said smugly. "Now, details!!!"

"What details?" Virgil asked, annoyedly. "I saw a cute dude and I fainted because of it."

"Yeah, you swooned over him! How romantic! How magnificent! How gay!" Roman exclaimed. "You have to give! Me! The details! How cute is he? Can you see the universe in his eyes? Did he smile and you went weak at the knees? Did he introduce you to a world you didn't know existed?!"

"Our interaction lasted for, like, ten minutes Roman." Virgil pointed out in exasperation. "And I was busy being gay-dead for five minutes of that."

"Five minutes conscious is all you need to fall hopelessly in love." Roman assured him.

"I did not fall 'hopelessly in love' with him."

"Surrrrrrrrre." Roman drawled. "At least tell me you got totally-your-true-love's name?"

"Yes...?"

"Perfect!" Roman said excitedly. "Now you just keep an eye out for him, ask other cashiers to look for him, all that, and eventually, when you find him again, with my careful wingmanning we will get you the best second-meet-cute that can be artificially created!"

"That sounds really excessive and borderline creepy." Virgil pointed out.

Roman pouted. "Well how do you propose we get you and your soulmate properly matched together, then?"

"Well, I could just call him." Virgil responded, so caught up in being snarky that he forgot that sometimes, keeping secrets was helpful.

Roman squealed loud enough Virgil thought he was going to go deaf and, yeah, this was one of those times. "YOU HAVE HIS NUMBER?!"

"Yeah, I do." Virgil confirmed as he snapped next to his ear, a little relieved to find his hearing was, in fact, intact.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" Roman exclaimed, much too loudly for the confined space. "You have to call him right now!!"

"I think I will not do that." Virgil responded. "Not with you in the car, anyways."

"Why ever not?!"

"Because you'll take the phone from my hand and set us up before I have a chance to say so much as 'hi.'"

"Blasphemy!" Virgil looked at Roman, unimpressed. Roman sighed. "Alright, maybe a little accurate." Pause. "Alright a LOT accurate. But still! You have to at least text him!"

"And why do I have to do that?"

"So you can be together and have literally the cutest getting together story ever. Duh." Roman responded like it was obvious.

"Invalid reason."

"And why's that?"

"Because you're the only one who knows about this." Virgil answered. "And you are never, ever going to tell anyone else that's why I fainted."

Roman looked scandalized at this new information. "But Virgil!"

"Nope. No buts." Virgil cut him off before he could say more. "You are not telling or so help me I will throw his number right out the window."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me, bitch." Virgil threatened. He left out the fact that the number was already saved in his phone, Remy's contact name stereotypically followed with a heart.

Roman sighed. "You live to torture me." He bemoaned. "But fine. If you promise to actually text him and at least schedule one date, I'll keep your gay secret."

"For real? And for ever?" Virgil checked. "This better not come up later, Princey."

"For ever and ever." Roman said with a flourish of his hand. "And if I so break your trust, you can dump him and blame me."

Virgil knew the promise was good. If there was anything more important to Roman than sharing embarrassing gay moments, it was actively supporting the gays in his life. "Deal."

"Magnificent!" Roman said. "Now, go be a dear and get! That! Boy!"

Virgil smirked. "We're already having lunch tomorrow."

"You already set up a date?!?! And you used having a date as blackmail against me?!?!"

"Yep."

"Touché, sir, touché." Roman said, before grinning mischievously. "You know I'm going to get you back for that, right?"

"I'd expect nothing less from you." Virgil replied. "Hence the whole protecting my secret first thing."

"Oh, don't worry Virgil." Roman assured him. "I'll figure something out."

And with that slightly ominous warning, Roman turned the music back up, immediately jumping into singing, the Frozen soundtrack having moved into Little Mermaid.

Virgil tried not to take it to heart that the song now playing was "Poor Unfortunate Souls."

~Time skip of roughly a year and a half~

Virgil was starting to have some doubts about making Roman best man.

It wasn't like he really had a choice- Roman was his closest friend, and given Roman refused to drop the idea he had, in some way, been a deciding factor in keeping Virgil and Remy's relationship going, Virgil doubted Roman would have even allowed himself to be anything other than best man.

But looking at Roman now, Virgil was almost certain he was up to some sort of trickery, and Virgil was pretty sure it was going to be very, very bad for him.

He had been nothing short of perfect throughout most of the ceremony, making sure everyone was in their places, showing people to their seats even though there was an usher, worrying over everything at a level to rival Virgil's worry. You almost would have thought it was Roman's wedding.

But now it was the after party, Virgil still mouthing the word 'husband' to himself over and over like it was unreal, and Roman was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Virgil didn't know what he was planning, but he was planning something. Virgil was almost tempted to demand answers from him, but before he could properly work up the energy to stand up and move in a direction that didn't bring him closer to Remy, Roman was standing at the front of the room, tapping a mic to get everyone's attention. Apparently it was time for the best man's speech.

"Hello guys, gals, and non-binary pals!" He said, loudly, proudly, dramatically. "For those who have lived their lives in shameful ignorance of true talent and beauty, I'm Roman, and I will be the most entertaining part of your evening."

"Rude." Virgil murmured to Remy, who just chuckled.

"You knew this would happen."

"Doesn't make it less rude."

"I can hear the criticism from here." Roman said, once more gaining the grooms' attention. "Though I may, for exactly once in my entire life, deserve it."

"The best present you could have gotten us: a little, tiny bit of humility." Virgil called back, the crowd of guests laughing.

Roman shrugged, grinning. "What can I say? I, of all people, am not blind to neither love nor beauty. And it would be a crime against both to not acknowledge that the true show-stopper of this evening, this day, and likely this entire week will be our two handsome new husbands." He said, sincere. "They are, honestly, the cutest couple I have ever known."

The crowd 'awwwwwww'-ed at this, turning to clap once more at the newly weds. Remy happily took the excuse to wrap an arm around Virgil's shoulders, pulling him closer.

Virgil smiled around his blush. Turns out not even more than a year's worth of dating could change the fact that Remy was the finest man Virgil had ever seen, or cure his Gay. Virgil was just content with the fact he hadn't fainted while they exchanged vows.

"And speaking of cute, every good couple has an amazing meet-cute." Roman continued, his grin turning mischievous, and suddenly Virgil realized exactly what his plan was. "And with our lovely couple here, well, rest assured when I tell you they have the cutest meet cute. Care to hear it?" He asked the guests.

The crowd cheered him onwards, giving Roman time to glance at Virgil, who was desperately trying to telepathically send Roman death threats if he continued onwards. Roman just winked at him.

"I'll take that as a yes." Roman said, turning his attention back to the crowd. Virgil groaned and turned to stuff his face in Remy's side.

"Kill me now."

"You're gonna have to speak up, sweetheart." Remy said, the arm around Virgil's shoulder shifting a little to comb through Virgil's hair while still holding him. "Despite common belief, my ears are not located in my sides."

Virgil moved his head just enough to put his mouth in the air, his voice not muffled this time as he said, "Kill me now."

"But I just got married to you!"

"Roman hates our love."

"How so?" Remy asked, still amused. "I know how we met, darling, I was there."

"You don't though." Virgil moaned.

Remy raised an eyebrow, something Virgil could actually see since Remy had agreed that, for their wedding, he could briefly lose the shades. "Maybe I should listen in, then, huh?" Remy teased, and before Virgil could beg him no please do NOT you'll kill me on our wedding day and that would suck, his husband had kissed him and turned his attention to Roman.

Unfair, Virgil considered in silence, that Remy could still fluster him into silence with something as simple as a kiss.

"Most of you know that Virgil and Remy met in the most romantic place possible: a grocery store." Roman's voice fell flat for a moment before he went back to sounding excited, "And they were brought together by the magic of Virgil fainting. Though the swooning was most certainly romantic, the fact that he fell onto the floor instead of into Remy's arms was a fairly huge detriment to their cute points.

"But there is a very important part of this story that you, my fine folks, are missing out on, an overlook that cannot be allowed to stand. The reason behind Virgil's fainting spell was not caused by common sleep-deprivation, as he claimed. The real reason behind it all was..." Roman paused, dramatics winning out over his desire to say it as quickly as possible, and Virgil went back to hiding his face in Remy's side as if that would block out Roman finishing his sentence with, "being too gay to function."

There was an oooh from the crowd, and Roman nodded in faux sympathy. "It's true! Virgil, poor, sweet, incredibly gay Virgil saw the absolutely stunner that is Remy and found not a single one of his brain cells could cope." Roman smirked. "Though he did walk away from it with pretty boy's number in hand, so maybe he's got more game than all of us combined."

"Got married faster too!" Remy called out, and Virgil wasn't sure if he was going to die of embarrassment or if he was going to die of love for Remy.

Was both an option? Maybe he'd go with both.

Roman's grin just grew as he pointed at Remy. "That he did, sir! That he did!"

Roman let the guests stop laughing again before he continued, "Now, I wish to assure you all that if I wanted to make this a good ol' fashioned best man speech, I could. If you think the dude who met his husband through gay fainting doesn't have more embarrassing stories to be told, you've never met Virgil. I could sit up here for another five minutes and go on til the cows came home.

"But, I do have a little pity for my former roommate, and given that I haven't seen his face for a full minute, I'm thinking he's already as embarrassed as I need to make him to fulfill my job as best man, so I think I'll cut him a little slack and stop it here." Roman said, laughing at the disappointed sigh from the crowd. "I'm sorry to leave you unsatisfied, but I'm not here to make dear Virgil's wedding day his funeral as well."

Too late for that. Virgil thought bitterly. Very much too late for that.

"So with that in mind, I'd like to propose a toast!" Roman said, grabbing his glass from where it had been sitting on the table in front of him, raising into the air. "To Virgil, the gay that went all in on the 'gay disaster' aesthetic, and made out incredibly successfully!"

The guests raised their glasses, echoing the chant exactly, as if they were all there not to see Virgil wed but to have a hand in his murder. Virgil was fairly certain Remy joined in as well, which was complete betrayal on his husband's part if he did say so himself.

The noise died for a brief moment, everyone silenced with their drinks, and when it came back it was quieter, murmurs around the room. Virgil still stubbornly refused to remove his face from the safety of Remy's side, however, only scooting closer when his husband tried to pull away and reveal him.

A pair of footsteps approached them a moment later, Virgil able to discern them from the crowd only because he was good at hearing traitors. They stopped in front of him and Remy, their traitorous cause laughing.

"Aww, did I get him that bad?" Roman asked Remy.

"He doesn't want to show his face." Remy answered, ignoring the muffled gasp Virgil gave when Remy dared to positively interact with the betrayer. "Which is unfair given I'm sure he looks adorable just about now."

Remy just chuckled when Virgil mad angry noises into his shirt. "I can't hear you, babes."

Virgil continued his angry mumbles without an attempt to explain them.

"He really is cute, ain't he?" Roman agreed. Virgil made an extra loud angry noise.

"And so angry." Roman added, voice still teasing.

In pure annoyance, Virgil tilted his head up just enough to free his mouth, muttering to Remy, "Throw a fork at him."

There was a slight clang noise and than an 'ouch!' from Roman. "What'd you do that for?!"

Remy's shoulders moved as he shrugged, and Virgil smirked, "It was requested by the cutest person in the world."

Virgil finally pulled away from Remy at this, openly gaping at Remy as he hit his arm. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"And I am!" Remy assured him, arms shooting out to grab Virgil's hands before he could get them away. He pulled them close to him, lifting Virgil's left so he could plant a kiss over Virgil's new, shiny ring. "But that doesn't change the fact that you are, inarguably, the cutest most amazing man I have ever met, and I refuse to remain silent about this fact for even a second, love."

Virgil's face turned red so fact he was surprised his hair didn't literally start to smoke. "I hate you." He mumbled, though any heat to it was busy turning his cheeks redder than roses.

"Bullshit." Remy said happily.

"Gaaaaaaay." Roman helpfully commentated, gaining a glare from Virgil and an amused look from Remy.

"Enjoy it." Virgil bit at him. "This will be your last chance to see me gay and happy."

"And why's that?" Roman asked with a smug grin.

"Because I'm going to die of embarrassment in five minutes." Virgil said solemnly. "Now that not only everyone, but also my husband, knows I am a weak, useless gay in every single way, I have no choice but to perish."

"Babes, I can tell this is heartbreaking for you, so I'm not one hundred percent sure how to tell ya this..." Remy paused for a moment, mouth quirking into a smile when Virgil looked distrustfully at him. "Well you weren't exactly subtle about it."

"No." Virgil said instinctively.

Remy nodded sadly. "Yep."

Virgil blinked at him a few times, ignoring Roman's barely withheld laughter, before saying, "Change of plans. I'm going to die one year and many months ago, after I fainted. Saves me a lot of trouble."

"Nooooooo." Remy whined. "No dying. I just married you. You're not allowed to die on the day of our wedding. Or to time travel to your death on the day of our wedding."

"Unfair. And I thought you loved me."

"It's because I love you and your cute, adorably weak gay heart that I refuse to let you die."

"You're too sweet." Virgil complained, leaning forward to kiss Remy before resting his forehead against his. "Which is why I hate to tell you that if I'm not allowed to die, I have to divorce you."

"You can't blackmail into letting you die."

"This isn't about blackmail." Virgil told him, turning to glare at Roman. "This is about Roman breaking his promise to never tell. I told him if he ever broke the promise I'd break up with you. And I have to be a weak gay of my promises. If you have a problem with this, I invite you to throw more forks at Roman."

Remy picked up another fork from the table, raised it, and aimed it. Roman turned away defensively, waiting for the projectile to hit…

But then Remy put it down.

"Nah. No problem for me, sugar." Remy said slyly, gently cradling Virgil's face with one hand and turning Virgil's gaze back towards him, smiling softly. "'Cause if you divorce me, I'll just have to chase you down, probably date you all over again, fall in love with you all over again, marry you all over again." His smile grew as he cupped Virgil's face now with two hands. "Twice the perfect memories sounds pretty good to me."

"I- You can't-" Virgil laughed, sounding a little watery, which might be because he was a few more sweet words away from crying in joy. He reached forward, wrapping one hand loosely around the back of Remy's neck and carding his fingers into the base of Remy's hair with the other, ignoring as Roman discreetly walked off. "You're going to make me faint again, Rem."

"That's alright, too." Remy assured him, scooting forward with his chair, pressing their legs together as he leaned forward to kiss Virgil properly, still smiling so softly, so adoringly, so lovingly as he pulled away and once more pressed their foreheads together, trapping them in their own little world, where all that mattered was each other, blocking out the guests and noise outside of their little bubble. "Because this time?

"I'll catch you."

[palbabor-writes]

Shota’s Cool Times Summer Jamz Mix

But for real, this is a Class 1-A Character Analysis, but with their music choices! 

So it’s editing day, and @albinoburrito​ and I got a little off track. It started with, what do you think Bakugo would listen to? And then it just spiraled out of control. 

So, here it is. Shota’s Cool Times Summer Jamz Mix

Izuku: Indie music, general pop, his dad’s old classic rock albums - was especially excited when he found out that All Might also listens to classic rock and uses it for his workouts. He prolly made like 20 new playlists after that and always tries to play them on the down low when All Might is training with him. He fucking loves it when All Might is like, “oh! I love this song”. Or, asks for him to turn the volume up. Has done some low fi for studies, but that’s really the only time he does it. He likes Young the Giant, MGMT, Alt-J, Strfkr and bands like The Rolling Stones and Van Morrison fill out most of his workout playlists.

Bakugo: Honestly, he doesn’t have any hard and fast preferences. If he likes things he SoundHounds them and moves on. He can cultivate playlists, but it’s not like he’s Kaminari level, having playlists for any and all activities. I do feel like he would lean more toward rap & hip hop titles. As well alt and alt rock. No fucking scream-o, or Eminem, please and thank you. Artists like: Childish Gambino, Travis Scott, Drake, blackbear, Missio, NCT 127, and Jaden’s Icon. However, he does have one low key, wind down playlist with sad, sappy songs that he had to immediately lock when the others found his Spotify. Shit like Band of Horses, Lord Huron, and Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish.

Sero: Indie and indie bops: i.e. Loud Pipes by Ratatat. Some rap & hip hop. Maybe upbeat alternative jams. He strikes me as a Gorillaz fan. He’s good at making playlists, he’s better at the low key ones. Things that you can comfortably listen to and don’t mind them. He doesn’t overthink this. If you hand him the aux you’re never upset. You’ll get bands like: Two Door Cinema Club, Passion Pit, St. Lucia, COIN and Coast Modern.

Kaminari: The KING of cultivated playlists. Like, has one for every occasion. Need something for a party that your parents will also attend? Cross generational? He’s got you. Pump up jams for specific people? He made them like a week ago and has choices. Makes playlists for certain people, but won’t give them out unless you actually want them, or ask him. Yes, he made one for Shinso after that training battle. No, he hasn’t worked up the courage to show him yet. Personal preference: he’s into all the latest pop & he keeps up with artists and tends. For upbeat playlists he goes for: Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Rihanna, Maroon 5 and Major Lazer. For low key playlists his go to are: NIKI, Khalid, KALEO, Transviolet, Noah Cyrus, and Bea Miller. His favorite artists waffle. They change rapidly. He loves them one week, but next week he’s got a new fav. He also likes the Jpop scene.

Mina: Hip Hop QUEEN. If it’s got a good beat she is all over it. MUST be a banger. She has mood banger playlists. Like, Kamanari, she’s got some good playlist cultivation skills. She’s also who you want to go to for road trip & sing along playlists. My girl loves a good upbeat “friendship,” playlist. She has a soft spot for some indie bands, i.e, MisterWives, Lorde & Billie Eilish. For her everyday listening needs she is all about: Run the Jewels, Lil Nas X, Quinn XCII, Logic, Calvin Harris, Nicki Minaj and Bhad Bhabie.

Jiro: She listens to all most everything. Massive, massive music pallet. Her family was always big on diversifying her musical tastes. Never let yourself be limited or judgmental because it’s not what you usually listen to. That said, she super big into rock and alt rock. She really like to follow bands. Like Paramour, Panic at the Disco. Bands that have shifted and changed over time. She admires that skill. Jiro cultivates playlists that are super specific and poetic. You know, those concept playlists that are like: enchanting, serene. You are laying in an abandoned castle and you’ve never felt this content and at peace. You are one with the universe, never in your life... Like that shit that’s like a paragraph long and you don’t even understand why, like, why is it so long? And so, specific? She’s got that shit locked down on Spotify. Mina found hers once, ONCE, and she tightened that security seconds later. She loves to listen to: Fleetwood Mac, The Zombies, Joni Mitchell, Terror Jr, Woodkid, Foo Fighters and David Bowie. Literally, she likes everything. Equal opportunity music listener. If it feels good it’s going in a playlist and that playlist is turning into a poem.

Tokoyami: 100% listens to GOTH rock - POST PUNK jams. Don’t @ him. It’s just his vibe k? Siouxsie and the Banshees shit, The Cured, The Smiths, and some good ole’ Evanescence. The darker the better, Revelry in Dark y’all. He’s a sucker for rock opera, that epic extra shit, but it’s also low key embarrassing. He wants no one to know of this. Like if you find it, go away and leaf him alone. Also, never speak of this again. He’s redacted, he’s not even on this list. You didn’t see this.

Iida: Oh my king, he likes some of that Bastille, Coldplay, Imagine Dragons, One Republic in his playlists. Low key, alt rock. Good ole’ safe, alt rock. But, he does like some pop songs. Not that he will talk to you about that. When he’s with his folks he likes to masquerade as a classic rock buff. But he’s bluffing pretty hard. He’s working on that with Izuku. He’ll get there you guys. He knows his brother loves it so he’s trying his BEST. For his pump up work outs he does go for that DAFT PUNK techno.

Aoyama: Oh. My. God. He loves flashy bands. Fucking Glam rock all the way. He’s also super, super up to date on the French hip hop and pop scene. Into people like Yelle, Phoenix, Soprano, Ayama Kamura, Stromae. Loves ELO just for the sheer operatic value. ABBA all the way baby. Anything exciting and anything that makes him feel invigorated. His playlists are a little scattered. He really just tosses whatever he’s vibing on in them.

Kirishima: You already know, why are you even looking here? He’s got the manliest playlists. When he was younger it was like, all alt rock, edgy stuff. Once he got to UA he cleansed that pallet. Not that he don’t go back to those playlists sometimes, but he’s also wanting to move on from those feelings. Now? He’s all about that positive rock babyyy. Anything that has a good, upbeat feeling he’s down for. He’s really looking for those VIBES. Things that get him pumped up and ready to go. Bands like: The Bleachers, The Mowgli’s, Banners, Jukebox The Ghost. Just real positive stuff, man. He also dips into classic rock for his workouts. If he feels like that rap song works with his workout jams it’s going in and he’s cranking it up. He totally found Bakugo’s sadboi playlist and immediately told him, hey, man, I have one of those too, emotions amiright? This is why Bakugo private locked his entire account HARD. Look what you did, Kirishima, you can’t see ANY of it now.

Uraraka: My girl likes pop. That bubble gum shit. But, she’s also has a superrrr hardcore rap playlist for her workouts, like, it’s kinda confusing. Mina found that playlist first and was like ????? I-Is this you? Like this playlist has DMX, Jedi Mind Tricks, Kanye, LL Cool Jay, A$ap Rocky, like, some tunes that get her GOING. But, she loves that cute Jpop and Kpop. She’s got tons of road jam playlists. Those you can put on and everyone is like, ooooooh, this song!!! She’s also has like 3 Disney playlists, for different moods. She also loves Girl in Red, Louis the Child, Hailee Steinfeld, and Mitski.

Todoroki: He...doesn’t have much experience with music cultivation. Like, he knows some songs, he didn’t live under a rock, but he also kinda did...so, that stunted him, in more ways than one. Thanks Endeavor. But, thanks to his classmates, he is starting to get the hang of this. He over thinks this stuff. Like, this music must speak to him. From Iida he likes Bastille, from Uraraka he likes King Princess, From Izuku he’s learned to love Grizzly Bear, and he really, really likes the playlist that Kaminari made for him. He’s leaning heavily on it to find some more tunes for his own small collection. He also learned that he loves anything that is hard rap as well. Especially if he can play it in front of Endeavor. You know, the ones are like, you didn’t fucking pay your child support, you ass. That aggressive, angry rap: Kendrick Lamar, Wiz Khalifa, J. Cole, 21 Savage and Montana of 300. It’s to make his father as uncomfortable as he possibly can be.

Tsuyu: Fucking rainforest and ambient noises. Not really, but also actually. She likes calming sounds, ok? Everyone was like, this is a joke, don’t be ridiculous and then she showed them her playlist of rain sounds. I mean, you go girl. But really, her collection is mostly pop songs, she likes them easy going. Much like her fighting and hero style, she is the glue that holds things together with the class in terms of music selection. Kinda of the bridging gap. Music that you just can’t complain about. Besides, why would you? What’s wrong with you? It’s Froppy. She and Uraraka often find themselves overlapping on their upbeat indie pop playlists, stuff like: Sara Bareilles, Oh Wonder, Kygo, Kero Kero Bonito, Taylor Swift, MARINA, and Regina Spektor. She did find Uraraka’s rap playlist and didn’t....approve. Did not want to use it for their joint workout. No, thank you.

Ojiro: Oh, you don’t get enough screen time son. You really don’t. He’s very low key. Into some indie stuff, like: Lumineers, Local Natives, Morningsiders, Manchester Orchestra, Vampire Weekend. He likes acoustic sounds, really down to earth. Once again, you cannot complain whenever he gets to select the music. Izuku especially approves when he plays his music because he always finds something new. For his workouts he prefers some heavy, heavy rock. You know, when you get to wail the shit out of stuff with your tail. He’s playing that Five Finger Death Punch in his MIND.

Koda: Nature sounds. Honestly. Full. Stop. Dead-ass he is living for artists like Corrine Bailey Rae, Hozier, Alesia Cara, Adele, and Maggie Rogers. He’s also got that Kacey Musgraves and Florence + The Machine on LOCK. Anything that feels ethereal and light is right up his alley. He likes it a little spooky sometimes. He does have a killer Halloween playlist, but he hasn’t ever quite worked up the courage to play it for his classmates. Oh. Also, listens to Enya un-ironically. He also might have a repeat problem with Imogen Heap’s Hide and Seek.  

Sato: He’s into new bands that I don’t even fucking listen to. He loves him some alt rock too. But, he’s not above that classic rock. He just likes stuff that he can head bang to. Not a metal head, but low key IS a metal head. Stuff like: Arctic Monkeys, Bring Me The Horizon, Highly Suspect, Royal Blood, The Smashing Pumpkins. He also has a wonderful baking playlist. Like 1950’s crooners. Think Dorris Day, The Ink Spots, Billie Holiday, Nat King Cole, and Frankie Valli.

Momo: Classical. Moving on. But really, she loves a good brain playlist with musicians, cuz they aren’t artists to her, they have a specific name for the work that they do: Bach, Debussy, Beethoven, Strauss, and some Tchaikovsky...some of his stuff is too much, even for her. She is starting to broaden her tastes. She really loves Sato’s baking playlist, those 50’s and 60’s beats are right up her alley. Jiro is slowly getting her to try out some pop and low key alt rock bands too. She’s growing and learning, y’all.

Toru: POP. That Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera MOUSE CLUB STUFF. She likes sing-alongs. Like has 20 Disney playlists and is always, always down to do a Grease playlist. You honestly feel attacked by how upbeat and peppy her playlists are, ATTACKED BY A GOOD TIME. It’s teen bop pop all the way here folks, no need to dig too deeply into it. She likes: Lizzo, Beyoncé, T. Swift, but like, leans into her hard, she is a swifter head, or whatever it’s called...Arizona, Carly Rae Jepson, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Harry Styles, Katy Perry, and Kesha among the millions of others.

Shoji: This guy. He loves him some alt rock. He, like Ojiro, needs more screen time. He likely listens to lofi playlists fully. Like, not in the way Izuku just listens to them when he’s studying, but like, for fun. Like he actually GETS them, you know? He likes bands like: Cage the Elephant, Beck, Broken Bells, Modest Mouse, The Killers, Neon Trees and Grouplove. For real tho, he needs more screen time.

Aaaaaaaand Mineta: He needs less screen time. Thank you your honor, I rest my case. Um, but like, he’s down for that dirty rap. Like, the slimier the better. If it’s ass, money, pussy, he’s on it. Big Sean is his hero. He thinks the Weekend is the best singer known to man. If this upsets you, I am sorry. I love him too, but sometimes we gotta face the truth. Mineta loves, loves, loves the Weekend. He’s also super down on the Megan Thee Stallion train. Oh, and Cardi B too. He also likes Tyga and Sage the Gemini. These are his top pics. His current ringtone is WAP and Aizawa nearly snapped his phone in half when he heard that go off in his classroom.

Bonus: 

- Aizawa: Yes, he has heard WAP. He’s literally attached at the hip to a dj and you know Midnight and Present Mic were all over that song when it was released. Those two tried to do that tiktok choral rendition of it. It didn’t go well. But seriously, this man likes a little bit of everything. He’s a no-fuss, low key guy and his music tastes are the same. He likes alternative and indie the most. Some of that: Sylvan Esso, Silversun Pickups, The Black Keys, The Flaming Lips, The Strokes, Cake, Incubus, and the Deftones. While he has no time to cultivate playlists, he does have a grading playlist that he quickly threw together. It helps him to zone in and work. Yes, Present Mic likes to add funky shit to it, just to ruffle his feathers. In the worst universe, slash in THIS universe, Aizawa was too lazy to get his own Spotify and he shares one with Present Mic. That poor algorithm has no idea what to recommend. He’s just waiting for that cease and desist letter from Spotify’s fraud department. Any day now.

Alright! Hope ya’ll liked it. Lemme know if you want more. We kinda started on one for the LOV, but it’s not finished just yet. In other news, we WILL edit the new chapter of “Look Upon the Light” tonight, don’t worry, we’ll be good. It should be out in the next few days. 

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

BTS while masturbating (alone and with s/o watching)

Anon who made this request, fuck you. I'm dehydrated and sweaty this was so hard to get through

I love you but like. .why would you do this to me

Warnings: SMUTTTT, even a little fluff bc I’m soft for these boys

Word count: 3096

gt

Namjoon (RM)

Namjoon is the kind of guy to work himself up with his imagination before he ever touches himself

Lots of times he doesn't plan it, but you'll send him something or he'll just think about you and he'll excuse himself and it doesn't even have to be sexual

Once you sent him a video and you weren't even topless, just close to the camera, giving him a half smile and a slow wink

It was literally 10 seconds of video you thought nothing of it

But the second he watched it his mouth went dry

He rolled in his chair to lock the studio room door, already unbuckling his belt

He's already rock hard when he takes himself in hand and he replays that ten seconds over and over

It sends an ache right up his cock when you drop that slow wink, smirking at him, and he remembers you doing that while looking up at him with your mouth full and he comes with a low grunt all over his hand

When he's breathing normally again and cleaned up, he texts you "I miss you"

Sometimes you'll see him nudes to help out while he's on tour

But you're a little shit so sometimes it's like midday when you know he's busy or with a lot of people

He never knows if he'll unlock his phone and see a text from you or a picture of you spread eagled, and he loves it

His favorite pics are when you have your face in frame as well as your body

There's a video of you touching yourself and when you pan up to show your face, you're biting your lip in concentration and it makes him come hard every time

So video chat sex is scheduled and you're always super excited

You never get off harder than you do while you're watching him unless he's physically there

He doesn't even take his cock out until you're halfway there, giving him a show as he tells you where to touch yourself and what to show him in a deep, commanding voice

He strokes himself slow, teasing himself, and you can't take your eyes off him

He scolds you for stopping to watch him but he's smirking at you, revealing those dimples

He's not loud but you can tell by the way he talks that he's close, the sound of his breath growing short

He dirty talks better than anyone you've ever known and his voice gets lower and lower toward the end when his fist pumps faster and he throws his head back against the chair

He always wants you to come first and he wants a close up of your face

"I wanna see your face when you come for me. You look so beautiful when you come undone."

After you come he's always right at the edge, his voice breathy and hoarse

"Show me your pussy, baby, spread open for me." It's not a command anymore he's almost begging and you can't comply fast enough

He groans then, and you don't know if it's because he isn't loud usually or because of how desperate it sounds but it always makes you ache low in your belly because you want him so bad

He always praises you so much

"Look at that, look at how wet and open you are for me. You have such a pretty pink pussy, baby."

He can also get pretty dominant though and honestly you don't know which makes you hotter

Sometimes he'll say shit like, "I wish I was there, I'd ruin that pussy, fuck you so hard you won't be able to get out of bed," or while you're showing him your face, "I want to fuck your mouth so bad, make you gag while I'm coming down your throat."

He won't just turn off the camera when he's done, though

He'll talk to you for another hour, face close to the camera, soft smiles and hanging on your every word

Seokjin

Seokjin either wants to get off in 5 minutes to get it over with or make it a whole production, edging himself for an hour so that he comes super hard

He's touch oriented sexually so he loves your pics and videos but he doesn't need them

He can remember exactly what your skin feels like beneath his palms when he slides his hands up your thighs to part them

He can remember how hot you felt when he was inside you

He's rough with himself, beats his dick like it owes him money when he's trying to get off fast

On the opposite spectrum though, he'll drag it out during video chats, hand loose around his cock, moving up and down slowly

Definitely loves how turned on you get watching him, smirks at you when you moan, wants you to show him how wet you are

He looks amazing, broad shoulders tense with concentration, brow furrowed

He likes to see you touch yourself, not just your pussy but your breasts, your stomach, your thighs

He can imagine your hands are his that way

He won't talk much but he'll be kinda loud anyway, whiny low pitched moans

The louder you get the faster he'll come, especially if you say something about how hot ut makes you to watch him

You love the way he bucks his hips into his hand when he's about to come

He'll chat with you for a few minutes afterward but not long

Then when you hang up he'll text you bc he forgot to tell you something and you'll chat for an hour via text

Hobi (J-Hope)

Usually pretty quick about it, he'd much prefer it were your body instead of his hand so he'll do it for stress relief mostly

He'll just flip through your nudes and get it over with when you're not watching or think about a particularly adventurous time, like when you spontaneously decided to give him road head on a long trip to see your parents and he drove like a snail for two miles before he pulled over to fuck you in the backseat

When you're video chatting he wants to be a whole exhibitionist and drag it out but he gets too worked up at how you bite your lip and moan as soon as he takes his cock out and he'll come fast with you watching, making intense eye contact through the camera

At first will like to tell you what to do but he will stop and just watch you in awe soon enough, praising you between moans

So much dirty talk but it's 90% praise

"God, how are you so beautiful? I'm so hard for you, babygirl, I want to fuck you so bad."

He will deadass consider flying you out when he's super horny

Will have a sex dream about you and FaceTime you at 3am

"I know it's late but you were such a naughty girl in my dream. It's only fair you help me out. Let me see your tits, yeah?"

You roll your eyes but when he pouts you do it

You always do whatever he wants, really, because afterward he gives you that sunshine smile and you’re done for

Plus it lets you know he’s always thinking of you

He’ll reward you when he gets home with multiple orgasms

Yoongi (Suga)

Will sext you a paragraph about how he saw a flower that reminded him of your pussy

It's almost poetic really

When he thinks about you like that it makes him miss you so he'll try to schedule a FaceTime with you asap

He doesn't think of much of anything when he's jerking off just to get it over with

It's just a physical need at that point

But right before he comes he'll think of your face, the way you look at him when he's inside you

When he's done he'll call you for no reason and even if it's late he'll text you something low-key sweet like "thinking about you, brat."

Will scold you for sending him unsolicited nudes when he's busy but if you stop for a few days he'll text you "what you wearing today?"

It's rare that he'll touch himself while you watch

He loves to watch you, though

You hardly ever schedule a video chat just for sex it'll just happen

You'll just be talking and your sweater will fall off your shoulder and he'll raise an eyebrow at you

"Hey, don't tease me, brat. Show me more."

He'll watch you touch yourself for an hour if you let him, getting close to the screen to see you better

Talks a LOT in a low murmur,

He'll definitely tell you what to do but if you disobey his orders it'll make him have to stifle a moan

He'll praise you whether you listen or not though

He won't exactly rush you to hang up after you come but he'll be antsy because watching you makes him rock hard

You beg him to let you watch him but he won't for the longest time

When you surprise him on his birthday by fucking yourself with a dildo during video chat he can't stop himself from pulling his cock out of his sweatpants, stroking himself with a low growl

"You dirty girl. You miss my cock that much, huh? Look at how well you take it even though I know how tight you are."

He leans back in his chair and gives you a full view but he'll stop if you do

"No fair, doll, tit for tat, yeah?"

He's so distracting though, that desperate look on his face, his sharp breaths

He stands up when he's about to come to use the wastebasket for quick cleanup but it puts him right next to the camera and you gasp because it's the hottest thing you've ever seen

He's embarrassed after, chuckling and hiding his face

"You're in for it when I get home, brat," but his soft smile says otherwise

Jimin

 He loves your pictures but when he wants to get off fast he always watches your videos, the more audio the better

Could really just jack off to the sound of your moans tbh If you cry out his name in a video that'll be his favorite one

He'll call you to help him get off, usually in the mornings, and if he's short on time you'll just talk him through it without facetiming him

You just have to tell him how much you want him and he's bucking into his hand

Sweet and apologetic later for waking you

Even though he was a little shy the first time, turns into a whole thot when you're watching him

All slow smirks and whiny moans and eye fucking the camera

 At first he won't let you see below his waist he'll sit so that he's only visible from the shoulders up

You'll get whiny because he's such a fucking tease he's throwing his head back and moaning but he won't let you see unless you beg

"Wanna see?"

 "You know I do, Jimin, come on!"

Frowns. "That's not the magic word."

"Please! I bet you look so hot!"

 He'll definitely give in if you praise him

Will take his time, ends up edging himself to keep teasing you

 Won't tell you what to do but will practically beg you to do something instead

 "Please let me see you finger fuck yourself," he says in a breathy voice

 Talks a lot AND is loud, you have no doubts everyone in a three mile radius knows what's up

He'd love it if you used a bullet vibrator or something because it makes him so hot when you lose your whole mind but he will be highkey pissed off if you try and bring out a dildo

Sulky and salty af

 Would really kind of freaking out if you started to fuck yourself with it, would stop everything and be low-key upset

"That thing can't make you feel like I do. No, I'm not mad, just selfish. I just don't want any other cock in you but mine not even a plastic one."

When he's close he'll say shit like "Tell me how much you miss this cock, yeah?" and ""Tell me how much you want me," and now he IS commanding, voice deep and authoritative

If you say his name in just the right way he'll come so hard he'll be trembling after

You'll have to hang up on him, he'll fall asleep with you facetiming him if you let him, he misses you so much

Taehyung (V)

Tae is v traditional when it comes to love so in the beginning he'd be almost too respectful

He'd never ask you for nudes or videos but if you sent them you'd kinda rock his world tbh

He'd send you a text back that was just: 😮

The first nude you sent was almost artistic you had just the right lighting that accentuated your curves

 It wasn't even that hot it wasn't as if you were spread-eagled or anything

 Just lying on your bed, naked, sunlight streaming through the blinds

 The second he gets it he calls you, voice deep and almost strangled

"Jagi, you're so naughty! You can't send me pictures like that. I got so hard in the middle of practice!"

Of course that just makes you send them more and you find out which ones are his favorites because he'll call you and complain about you teasing him

 Once you sent him a pic of you lifting your skirt to reveal just the edge of your white lace panties and he had to go to the bathroom in the middle of a meeting to jack off

 Your slow, striptease videos are what he uses most often

Very visually stimulated so after he knows you like sending them he may make a few requests

 Will never look at porn when he's in a relationship it would feel weird and you turn him on way more than strangers would

 He might be low-key salty if you tell him you watch porn, actually

 "Are the guys in them handsome? Ugh, Jagi, I don't like it. Don't watch them anymore, yeah? I want you only thinking of me when you touch yourself."

First time you get horny via video chat and pan the camera down to reveal your breasts he gasps like he's clutching his pearls

But he watches with his face close to the camera and he can't stop licking his lips

 He's so quiet, only humming low in his throat to encourage you, fidgeting in his desk chair

 You pan back up to your face

 He groans softly. "More," he says hoarsely, throat dry

 You shake your head. "Not until you show me how much you want me,"

 You thought he'd blush but he doesn't, just slides his chair back and unbuttons his jeans to pull himself out

 You don't have to tell him twice, is what I'm saying, and he's stroking himself and moaning immediately

 You think it's even scarier that he's not actively trying to turn you on, he's just effortlessly sexy while he chases his orgasm and you'll do whatever he asks when his voice is that deep and husky

 He'll ask you to show him different things but it won't really be asking but be quietly authoritative

"Will you show me your tits? Ah, that's my good girl. Pinch your nipples."

 Starts out quiet, ends up loud

 Praise praise praise

 "Look at my beautiful girl. I miss you so much."

 But once he's comfortable he talks dirty af

 "I want you so much, want those pretty lips around my cock, big doe eyes staring up at me." Or "I can't wait to stretch out that tight cunt of yours, Jagi."

 Long, slow strokes, makes eye contact with you when he comes, moans your name

 Breathing hard when it's over but he's not really embarrassed

Wants to talk to you for a long time after it's over, v affectionate and lovey dovey

Jungkook

 Poor baby doesn't have time to treat himself so it's usually quick and efficient

 Will find a particular image of you in his memory banks and play it over and over

 Maybe your face when you come or the curve of your hips while he's fucking you from behind

 He never once asked for naughty pictures or videos until you sent one

 Now he's never not asking for them while he's on tour

 You run out of ideas for positions

 Like how many ways can you make a picture of your pussy entertaining

 He thinks they're all fabulous he's never been happier

Videos are absolute gold, though, especially when he knows you made them just for him

 As a joke you once sent him a video of you writing his name across your tits but it made him so hard he thought he was gonna die before he could get home and take care of it

 The first time you touch yourself on video chat it's because you see how his eye follows the line of your collarbone when his hoodie that you're wearing slides down

So you playfully tug it down to reveal your breasts and he lets out a surprised squeak and then blushes

 "Tease!"

 You shrug. "Don't have to be. I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

He's mortified at first but the more you tease him the huffier he gets

 When you slide the camera down to slowly walk your fingers along your inner thigh to the edge of your panties, he lets out a low growl and pushes his desk chair back

 When he pulls his cock out he looks at you through the camera almost like he's angry

 "See what you do to me? It isn't fair to be so far away from you and want you so bad."

 But he likes the look on your face and how wet you get watching him so he gets bolder

 He'll tell you what to do, hesitantly at first but then in a confident voice when you obey

 Low curses, heavy breathing, but not loud

 He won't talk much other than to tell you where to show him and where to touch yourself but sometimes he'll praise you in a low, even voice and it's always sweet

 "You're fucking perfect, you know that?"

 He's majorly embarrassed after he comes, red faced

But he'll want to do it again the next time you FaceTime

[mcrmadness]

Oooo, how about two from each of them? Fanfic asks: J and P, film asks: 15 and 16, music asks: 20 and 26.

OMG thanks!!! :DDD

Ask games: Fanfic asks, Film asks and Music asks. (People you can still send me asks if you want, asks are fun to answer to!)

***

FANFIC ASKS:

A little background before we get to the questions: I haven’t written too many, actually only 6 quite short ones (and one of them is a bit longer than usual) about Die Ärzte (Bela/Farin FTW) and all of these I have written between the years 2009 and 2012, so I was 18-21 which means they are not that good. And there’s lots of things I wouldn’t write anymore. I also have a WIP on my computer, I started it in 2012 but stopped writing altogether only to start writing again in the end 2018, it has bit over 28k words currently and tbh I have written 90% of that when I started writing again two years ago. I still have my old ones up on LiveJournal (ask for a link), but I haven’t published anything fron this later one as I’ve just been writing down all kinds of snippets whenever I have had an inspiration. I think those are also a lot better in quality than what I wrote before, the old ones are quite cringey.

J. What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I guess we talk about those fics I have also finished, now. It’s actually hard to decide but I would say my favourite is either Why not even once? or The Boring Book Freak. I think the latter is actually The favourite.

The first one (was actually my second dä ff overall) is set to happen in 2003 and in that one Farin is leaving for another vacation somewhere and Bela wants to go with him, but Farin wants to travel alone and Bela is struggling with that, as well as with Farin finally leaving and having to somehow survive his time at home without Farin there. The writing itself is bit stupid and I feel that the end got bit too far but otherwise I like the idea.

The second one (came actually after the previous one) is set to happen in the early/mid 90s (my fave Bela/Farin era btw) and on that they just are at some random summer cottage. Now, fuck cottagecores and such, I wrote it because summer cottages are a thing in Finland and I wrote it when cottagecore was not even cool yet. Somehow I imagined that it would be very Farin-like to rent a cottage from the middle of nowhere, in a forest and then spend a weekend or so there with Bela. Who then is not entertained at all and is bored because Farin won’t put away his book and won’t give him any attention, so he tries everything to get Farin’s attention. I especially like the visual images this fanfic gives to me, I can see their hairs and outfits so well and those are also aesthetically very pleasing. (They look the same as in that Absolut Live interview from the 90s, I don’t control their looks with my fics usually, I just have an idea and then my brain creates how they look in that particular scene :D)

I have also written a short songfic around the lyrics of their song “Ich weiß nicht (ob es Liebe ist)” and it was fun to imagine that as Bela/Farin. That was fun to write.

This got a bit long so I put the rest under a cut:

P. What are your favorite tropes to write?

(Had to google what a trope is lol. I’m old-school and no longer know most of the terms unless they’re old terms.)

Angst - I put my own angst, sadness and angriness into my writing often. It’s when I feel like in real life I would need other people but I don’t know how to reach out or don’t just feel comfortable about opening up, I open up a file and start writing. This is also where we get to the next trope...

Hurt/Comfort - But not so that X hurts Y, but that Y feels hurt for other reasons and then X comforts them. I kinda got obsessed with this theme after being bullied at school so I was always hurt but never comforted, so I often go back to those feels and emotions with my text to look for that comfort (hug, nice words, whatever) I never got in real life.

Fluff - This is bit complicated because I like writing fluff but I also hate reading fluff I have written. Because it does not sound like me. And sometimes when I write, I feel like standing behind my own back and vomiting a little on the inside because of how cheesy and disgusting that is but still I can’t stop writing. And then I feel like a different person when I read them because I can’t believe it’s ME who wrote them. The same way when I watch movies and people kiss, I always look away. And I want to look away when I read my fanfiction. But I can’t, especially because I know I looked at that scene in my head when I wrote it.

Humour - I love humour so much and I like to include this to my writing. Normally I put the humour in my comics but some of that fits also in the regular texts too.

***

FILM ASKS:

These are super tough but also fun - I have been trying to think of what to answer to these for days.

15. A film everyone loves but you hate?

The Avengers (-12). Sorry but not sorry. Well I don’t hate it but I don’t understand why everyone says it’s the best Marvel movie ever. It’s not. It’s full of clichés and stupid forced heteroromances and whatnot and the plot was just so, so predictive I don’t understand why it’s often talked about as some sort of cinematic master piece. I literally was able to tell everything that was gonna happen next when I watched it for the first time. Only cool things in that movie are Loki and Iron Man, whose character I already liked as I had seen the Iron Man movie and liked it. But I hated both Thor movies (the third one is awesome tho). 

I like Marvel and I have seen I guess most of the movies - before MCU all good Marvel movies to come out were The X-Men movies and Spider-Man movies, and because I saw so many terrible Marvel movies, I was avoiding the whole MCU and I got into these movies much later and still, after seeing them all, I say The Avengers is one of the worst ones. Thor and Thor 2 are pretty much even worse (and I haven’t even seen the Hulk movie because it looks terrible), mainly because I just can’t stand the fact they’re mainly just built around Thor and his love interest...

16. A film you love but everyone else hates?

Spider-Man 3 (or the whole trilogy with Tobey Maguire). I see we continue with Marvel here but seriously I don’t understand why everyone is always picking on Tobey’s version of Spider-Man? And people especially hate the third movie and how Venom was portrayed in it (I’m obsessed with Venom’s human teeth pls I want his teeth), when it’s actually the best one for me. The second one is bit boring because it was again all about whining and Mary-Jane... Anyway, the reason why I am so attached to these movies is that I saw the first Spider-Man movie from TV when I was a teenager and in junior high myself, and I was bullied and a bit of a nerd so I could relate to Peter Parker a lot, and it gave me just so much strength to see him become Spider-Man and to stand up against the bullies and other assholes.

I also saw the third movie in the movie theater and there was one scene during which I started hysterically laughing with my friend because of an expression Tobey made as he was sitting on a bed, I don’t know why but somehow I just totally lost it at that :D It still makes me laugh so much when I see it! And when the movie ended, I heard a The Killers song “Move Away” for the first time during the end credits and TK was one of my favorite bands at the time (and still is).

***

MUSIC ASKS:

20. a song that empowers you

It gotta be Dead! by My Chemical Romance:

This album was what got me through all the shit that happened when I was 15+ and especially this song always made (and still makes) me feel so good. I often listened to my old mp3 player while walking to school and back home and every time this song came by, I just felt like nothing can harm and that life FINALLY was so great! It’s so energetic and still makes me feel that living is actually super awesome.

26. a song that taught you a lesson

Hmmm. I think I will answer to this with Dusche by Farin Urlaub.

That thumbnail is terrible but... And why did I choose this song? Well, I’m all for the sound what comes to music and I’d say at least 80% of all lyrics go way over my head. I just don’t have the skills for understanding poetry and also very poetic lyrics make me go crazy. I hate not knowing and when I have to assume, guess and interpret something. I don’t want to guess but I wanna know what someone has actually thought.

Dusche was the first song that had lyrics that for the first time ever actually spoke for me. I probably saw some video with English subtitles a fan had made and it just blew me away because holy shit, people are capable of writing lyrics even I can understand??? And that way I realized I can like lyrics but only if they make absolutely no sense (aka are funny or somewhat crazy, like Dusche) or when they are written in a story form or sung from the 1st person view or to “you” or in passive - but only if I can get behind the idea there.

After Dusche, Farin’s song Porzellan followed. And one of my absolute favourites is Karten. So, Farin is one of the only few people whose lyrics I have been able to understand. I still don’t hear lyrics and don’t understand a majority of the lyrics my fave bands write, and I have understood only a couple of Bela’s lyrics and I’m not sure if I’ve understood any of Rod’s lyrics. It’s not even about the language barrier anymore really, it’s just the topics or wordings I cannot comprehend.

Thank you again for the ask! This was very interesting to ponder and answer to :)

[thesecondcircleofkel]

NSFW Alphabet, Tokoyami: A-Z

Reposting all of these together for convenience and to save space. I don’t accept requests to do the entire alphabet for someone all at once. You have to stick to the guidelines of 1 character per ask, and 5 letters per ask, and once I finish the alphabet for a character with requests like that, I will repost it all together. Request are closed at the moment, though.  

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He likes to hold you afterwards while snuggling his head into your neck. He really needs the close contact with you to wind down after sex, and if you really need anything, he’ll have Dark Shadow help you out so he doesn’t have to deprive himself of your presence.

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)  

If he was asked what his favorite part on his partner was, he’d say that it was their eyes. He’d give some really poetic reasoning for it, too, saying that he could see the true beauty and depths of their soul in them, but that’s just him being cool and dramatic. In reality, he’s a leg man. He will be all over your legs during sex, running his hands along them, holding onto them as he ruts into you, propping them over his shoulders and leaning his head against them as he gets in real deep…yeah, Tokoyami is all about your legs.

On himself, he likes his arms. He likes how much more muscular they got over the course of his training, and he honestly started using the muscularity of his arms as a progress tracker of how his training was going.

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)  

He prefers to cum inside of you. He feels more intimate and connected with you that way (creampies are also a kink of his), but if you want him to pull out, then your thighs will be his alternative. In terms of amount, his cum is a little on the low side, but the consistency is pretty moderate. His diet is pretty balanced, too, so the taste is also mild.

D: Dirty Secret

He is so super easily flustered when it comes to you, and he will go to any length to make sure that nobody ever figures that out. It’s not like you can really see him blush anyways, and he’s eternally grateful for that because he feels like it would really put a damper on his edgy reputation if anyone noticed how rattled he was around you. It’s not even really sexual, either; you could just give him a small peck on the side of his beak, and he’d nearly pass out from all the blood rushing to his face. Dark Shadow constantly makes fun of him for it, and if you ever catch Tokoyami in a sour mood, it’s probably because of that.

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He doesn’t have that much experience. Casual sex just isn’t his thing; he really needs to have more of an emotional connection with someone before he’s willing to take them to bed. If he doesn’t have some understanding for who you are as a person and vise versa, then any sort of intimacy just won’t be possible for him. That being said, not only is he a quick learner overall, but he’s very attentive to what you like specifically.

F: Favorite Position

He likes face-to-face positions since they let him look into your eyes, so positions like Gemini and Watering Can are some of his favorites.

He also likes to hold you as much as he can during sex, so positions that allow for that, like Anvil, Torch, and Basket, are a few more that he really likes. He’s also fond of these positions because they allow for deep penetration, and that is so intimate to him that it’s nearly transcendent.

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)  

He’s not intentionally funny during sex, but we’re all aware of how some of his…edgier behavior can come across. He tries to refrain from saying anything too dark while the two of you are getting intimate, but it just slips out at times, and honestly, he won’t be too offended if you have a little laugh at him. He’s self-aware enough to realize how humorous some of his antics can come across as.

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

His hair below the belt is pretty sparse but he still trims it every once in a while for maintenance. It’s also just regular hair and it’s black in color.

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He’s pretty intimate during sex. He’ll definitely have his forehead leaning against you, and he’s a fan of holding your hand during the act, as well. He might even try to recite some romantic poetry to you; it’ll be a little dark, but the thought is still there. 

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t masturbate often. It just isn’t something that ever really appealed to him since his sex drive is pretty low when he doesn’t have an intimate partner, and even when he does have a partner, he’d rather wait and share his desires with them instead of taking care of those needs himself.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He loves the thought of you tied up in a black silk ribbon. It doesn’t even have to be for bondage or anything else like that; he loves the aesthetic of the ribbon being woven around your body, and he’ll even learn some fancy tying techniques to help make this fantasy happen.

He’s also won’t complain if you do want to use that ribbon for bondage. He thinks you look radiant as you lie helplessly beneath him, and if you want to incorporate Dark Shadow into the bedroom, then Tokoyami will have him pin you down.

He also appreciates the aesthetic of blindfolds, and he’d also incorporate some sensation play into the bedroom whenever you were blindfolded.

He will also lose his mind over a creampie. Seeing his seed dripping out of you does so many sinful things to him, and the sight will have him going again in no time.

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He definitely prefers to keep things to private locations, but if you really want to get him in the mood, just dim the lights. The ambiance of a dark room really gets him going, whether it’s candlelit, completely dark, or there’s only one or two low lights on.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Play to his aesthetic and wear something dark. It doesn’t necessarily have to be black (dark purple and dark red are also fantastic choices in his opinion), and the more elegant it is, the better.

Delicate touches really get to him. Gently run your fingers over his feathers, brush your hand against his neck, rub your thumb over the back of his hand- the softness of it all makes him crave intimacy with you.

Wear something to accentuate your legs, like stockings (especially ones with black lace on them), thigh-highs, some flattering pants, or some shorts that show off a lot of bare leg.

Candle lit rooms also play to aesthetic and turn him on. The ambiance of being with you in such an intimate darkness will get him every time.

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No sharing you whatsoever. Threesomes are out of the picture with him, and if you really have to have an extra pair of hands on you during the act, then just ask him to let Dark Shadow out or something, because he’d much rather you ask him to do that than for you to ask him to let someone else into your bedroom. Sex is a very personal and intimate thing for Tokoyami; he loves you and you are his focus, and he’ll honestly feel like you’re saying that his love isn’t good enough for you if you ask for a threesome.

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)  

He’s at a bit of a disadvantage here, given, you know, his beak, but with a lot of work and careful positioning, it is possible, although it won’t be very comfortable for either of you. Because of that, he’s much more keen to use his hands on you, and he can work some true magic with those nimble fingers of his. As for receiving oral, he’s more or less indifferent towards it, just because it isn’t something that he can really return the favor for. He does like handjobs, though, and they can end up being really sensual with him because he gets really poetic as he expresses his appreciation and liking for what you’re doing.

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

He definitely prefers slow and sensual, at least to begin with. He always wants a lot of intimacy to go along with sex, so he likes to start sessions off real slow so he can focus on bonding with you, but he’ll speed things up after a while.

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)  

Quickies aren’t his thing, and he definitely prefers proper sex. Sex is much more of a romantic and intimate experience with Tokoyami, and he doesn’t feel like quickies allow him enough time to build the connection that he needs with you in order to enjoy sex.

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)  

He’s perfectly fine with experimenting, and he’ll put forth a few ideas of his own to try out. Risks, on the other hand, are not his thing, for various reasons, with the main one being that sex is all about intimacy for him, and he thinks that any risky behavior or actions can take away from the intimacy that he’s trying to create with you.

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

His stamina is pretty good. His pace really helps out with that, but even if he didn’t start things out so slowly, he’d still be able to last a while. He generally only goes for one round, but you’re bound to be more than satisfied by that round, and he can certainly go for more than one if you really want him to.

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

They aren’t really something that he thought of previously, but if you mention wanting to incorporate some toys into your sessions, he’ll be perfectly fine with it. He won’t exactly know what he’s doing with them at first, but he’s a quick learner, so it won’t take him long to figure out how to make your toes curl with whatever toy it is that you want him to use. He’ll be a little embarrassed if you mention wanting to use a toy on him, but he’ll still try it out in the hope that it may actually be something that he likes.

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He likes edging on occasion (on him or you), but that’s about it when it comes to teasing for him. He’d much rather just move things along so he can be more intimate with you, and the thought of holding back on you like that almost seems cruel to him.

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He doesn’t really make too many noises during sex, mainly just some low, breathy groans. That’s purposeful on his part, since he’d rather hear your noises than his own. He’s also prone to sweet talking you during the act, telling you how much he loves you, how beautiful you are, and so on. He can be quite poetic about it, as well.

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

It’s not an idea that he would ever bring up himself, but if you wanted him to let Dark Shadow take some part in one of your sessions, he wouldn’t turn you down. He can see the appeal of it, plus he’s had Dark Shadow with him for the majority of his life, so it’s not like he would be embarrassed by him being there.

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)  

He’s perfectly average in terms of girth and length, and he’s more on the veiny side. It’s not shockingly veiny or anything, but he does have 3-5 prominent veins along his shaft. His dick is also perfectly straight, with no curves to it.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is completely dependent on you. Before you came into his life (aka, before he had an intimate partner that he loved and trusted), his sex drive was really low. Now that he has you, though, he’s all about seeing to your needs, and he’ll be ready to throw down whenever you are so long as the timing and location are appropriate.

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He won’t fall asleep until after you do. He wants to make sure that you fall asleep and rest peacefully, and he’ll stay up for a while just to ensure that. He also loves how serene you look while you sleep, and seeing you like that really warms his heart.

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m back! Temeraire Let’s Read:Tongues of Serpents

- Tharkay literally shows up at the beginning of the second sentence; STRONG start, I highly approve, great improvement on every level

fsdafhsadkjlfh cooly tossing tables and throwing people’s drinks in their faces in the bar brawl fkjsdhfksdalfhasdj this ain’t his first rodeo huh

- these dumbasses having to clean up from the bar brawl before going home so their dragons don’t go out there and demand to have a word with the dudes who bullied their lil boys... oh my  g o d 

- “it was true, if one wished to be very particular about such things, that laurence was a convicted felon”  t e m e r a i r e... ~*technicality schmechnicality*~ it was barely treason at all really  

also temeraire being in super protective mother hen/older brother mode over the eggs is perfect  

- Jane Rolands bluff, jovial letter writing is Everything

- “Have Temeraire throw him overboard,” Tharkay had suggested laconically, when Laurence had escaped to his quarters for a little relief and some piquet . . . “He can fish him out again later,” he added, as an afterthought.

A VISIONARY. An unmitigated joy. “Have Temeraire throw him overboard”. He says what we’re all thinking. 

- AAAAAAAAH MUTUAL FIRST NAME BASIS!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL WTF HAVE THEY BEEN DOING ON THIS TRIP TELL ME IN DETAIL WHEN THE SWITCH HAPPENED PLEASE (also I really like that the first instance we see is “But Tenzing, I cannot trust myself” b/c that was literally the whole point of that scene in VoE. laurence... yes you can. tfw your crush is the goodiest of twoshoes and can barely move for it and doesn’t even knoooow)

- y’know if Laurence could get over this thought that asking a direct question to a friend is just ~*intolerably rude*~ he could get so much shit done 

(I guess tharkay, clearly a follower of the rosa diaz school of ‘no one is ever going to know shit about me’, is like fuck yeah I’ve struck gold with this one)

- “So spake the pot” oh I do love Actually Pretty Chill Dad William Laurence finally letting the snark out more frequently, it suits him very much (I guess his main claims to fame in a lot of circles is a) treason and b) spoiling his dragon rotten)

- rankin’s name is mentioned and everyone’s like HIIISSSSSSSS and RIGHTLY SO FUCK THAT GUY JUSTICE FOR LEVITAS

- temeraire is talking to the egg about consent and saying he’ll make sure it won’t have to do anything it doesn’t want to fjklsadhfkaslhfsd my heart

- lol lol lol weeeell in hindsight who could’ve guessed captain and second in command of the dragon pirates would have a materialistic superficial kid huh

- . . . Granby said, with a look half affection and half exasperation oh granby baby still carrying that torch huh

- lol lol lol just the implication of sara maden and laurence silently tops up his drink and he’s like ‘cheers’ and they’re both quiet for a moment flskdfs 

if you think about it that must’ve been such a wild day in his life tho -- like first  Laurence furiously fires him for being gone at a crucial moment and then immediately unfires him when it turns out he’s been chasing a lead and being the only goddamn person really working on solving all their problems (as is his wont), then he finds out his ex is getting married and steadfastly pretends it doesn’t even bother him, lol what are feelings I heard only losers have them (extremely relatable -- I guess he must have known it was in the cards though, because he specifically tells Laurence at the beginning he didn’t intend to go back to Istanbul, so it’s been over for a while?) then they go on a life and death chase through the sewers, and THEN, before he knows it, after half a book of being kind of a mistrustful dick to him, Laurence does a 180° and is there offering eternal friendship with big soulful eyes after seeing him get upset one time and y’know I guess I see why that got to him lol 

- aw man I know it’s never going to happen but I am getting sort of wistful and teary-eyed over this pirate (cough cough I mean legally sanctioned privateer of course) AU that’s going entirely to waste

here are some tags I left on this superb piece of fanart: #I just got to the part where tharkay makes the suggestion and like... I know it's not happening #but what a shimmering tender mother of pearl dream to carry in one's heart lol #just a lil pirate family out there wrecking shit #temeraire would get wind of what the east india company actually does and they'd inevitably turn against them and fuck 'em up... *sigh* #fix it fic: the boys kiss and the east india company is stopped from committing further atrocities! all is well

so that’s basically my position on that

- “I’m sure there’s nothing too dangerous out there, in the fucking untamed Australian wilderness,” Temeraire said, tempting fate to a frankly anxiety-inducing extent 

- hell yeah demane is the only one with presence of mind to actually find some food; you go buddy <3

- my boy tharkay slinking off in the middle of the night without telling anyone and solving everyone’s problems... *dabs at eyes* just like old times

- oh wow rankin really is just a piece of shit in every way huh

- fhasdklhfsadfsad temeraire being like ‘I know tharkay is a strong independent human who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and don’t need no dragon... but also he’s clearly one of my humans tho why is he riding on another dragon :(’ THE CUTEST SHIT

- temeraire silently dissing his dad over refusing to believe in ghosts ~*except*~ for the holy spirit adslfhaskjdlhfs

- demane taking in the strange little hatchling... im crey... he truly hits me straight in the heart every time

also laurence steadfastly Doing The Right Thing and following his convictions is so deeply healing after all that bullshit he went through in the last book... makes me feel all safe and calm inside haha

- actually when you think about it it’s so fucked up that they apparently just straight up murder dragons with birth defects in england as a matter of course b/c like. dragons come out of the egg fully sentient and capable of understanding what’s being said around them. kulingile literally understood every word they were saying as they discussed whether or not they should be KILLING HIM.  j e s u s  thank god for demane and laurence’s stubborn insistence on being good

- temeraire going straight from mother hen to extremely impatient and jealous older brother the moment an egg hatches never gets old. all these dumb little babies just complaining and stealing his crew ugh (HOW FUCKING CUTE is him deciding kulingile could be a scholar or something tho #dragon rights)

- “I wish,” Temeraire said to Laurence, “I do wish that other dragons were not always thinking me peculiar . . . it makes one doubtful.” BABY BOY NOOOO he’s just so sweet and he’s so secretly scared that laurence might resent him a little after the whole treason business and OW right in the parental heart that fucks me up

- Temeraire’s indignant “Oh!”s always soothe my soul it’s so adorable

- little emily roland yelling “damn you all for cowards!” after a bunch of grown men fleeing while she reloads her gun and takes aim again is incredible poetic cinema (and also demane joining her... I love the bond they’ve got going on in the background here)

- aw poor sipho :( at least he still has temeraire to nerd out with and stuff but that’s some difficult shit to process for a kid

kulingile bobbing around tethered to temeraire like a small balloon at a fair is such an image, what a blessing, temeraire’s exasperated brand of babysitting is so funny

- laurence being a Dad to the kids in his crew... mana from heaven

- YESSS they crossed the endless miles of DEADLY AUSTRALIAN WILDERNESS so laurence could be MORTIFIED as the emperor’s adopted son at a party this is the content I am here for

- hell yeah let’s play a round of pimp my captain!!!!!!!!!!

“And,” Laurence said. “And you are certain that this should be appropriate for the occasion; not, perhaps, excessive?” I can’t  b r e a t h e  he can’t even say shit because his dragon boi is so happy fsaldfjsldhfasjlh and then granby making fond fun of him what a beautiful cherry on top of this sweet sweet laurence being embarrassed sundae 

- william ‘I’m here to kick ass and describe menswear in fastidious detail and I’ve already kicked my own ass twice today’ laurence strikes again

- this description of the dragons sitting around squabbling as they watch shiny sparkly things is the most endearing few pages in modern literature do not @ me

- it’s kind of fucked up that the emperor of china is giving laurence more of the sort of warmth and validation a father should than his actual dad ever did lol. u did good curing the dragon plague, weird european adopted son I am proud of you

- every time temeraire is really upset about something my soul suffers a small wound

thank god he doesn’t actually know what opium is really used for most of the time yet (also I am obligated to divulge that I am entirely charmed by tharkay’s sardonic yet clear eyed cynicism on the issue, I cannot be anything but what I am and he hasn’t had enough proper page time in this half of the book so I will take what I can get)  

- ...I kind of just realized that I imagine the sea serpents basically as long-ass gyaradoses... OH NO

I will say I respect the ‘give no fucks’ vibe they give off -- it’s a real ‘we’re here to eat fish & party and if you try to get in our way we’re gonna have you as a snack’ mood and I cannot fault them for it

- iskierka is such a fuckboi it’s glorious 

- nOOOOOO tharkay is leaving again fuck ;_______; is his life just an endless procession of semi-unwillingly having to go back to istanbul again these days 

Temeraire did not see why Tharkay should have to go so far, only to deliver news; and particularly when he did not seem as though he wished to go, very much. DDDDDDDD: THIS SUCKS you know that when a) he’s letting it show and b) temeraire notices it that he is dragging his heels big time over this lol

‘there can be very little to call you back to this part of the world any time soon’ LAURENCE YOU 24 KARAT IDIOT YOU ARE HERE HE CAME TO AUSTRALIA FOR YOU ALREADY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

all that said whenever I see a ‘Tenzing’ on the page my heart does a happy little dance. ah well now let’s settle in and wait for what horrible catastrophe will happen now that tharkay is gone... come back soon buddy

- ooooooooooooh that is so good, using the last chapter + epilogue to show how the... idk moral wound I guess laurence received victory of eagles has finally healed, that’s so reassuring. he just wants to do good things for good causes and can’t be badgered, cajoled, threatened or convinced to do anything less anymore and it’s all so sweet and well earned. that’s some good development through this book too, from ‘tenzing I cannot trust myself’ to this. excellent stuff

- while I did quite enjoy this book for the character moments it is incredibly weirdly structured? like the beginning drags a bit with the quite uninteresting colony politics and stuff but then they’re finally travelling and then... nothing really happens plot wise before the sea serpents freak the fuck out at the end there lol. I’m mostly a character-oriented reader tho so I’m pretty fine with it.

ETA: actually now that I think about it I’d say that my biggest gripe with this book is that it doesn’t engage at all with the perspective of the native australian people? even though one of the dragons settles down with one group? god knows it’s not like there was no time to dive into it, considering all that time spent in the fucking wilderness lol

we’re going to the inca empire next tho apparently fuck YEAH!!! that’s such an underexplored and extremely interesting part of history, my body is Ready

[welllpthisishappening]

Hi! It’s the Nova anon! I just wanted to say thanks because the blue line series always makes me feel better when I re-read it. Today my roommate that I’ve lived with since freshman year told me she doesn’t want to live together next year so I was really upset and decided to read the PyeongChang Triple again and it made me really happy. Thanks so much for all of your writing! It’s the best!!

Oh hai Nova ‘non. I’m so sorry that happened, but I’m glad there was something there to help. Roommates can always be a kind of hit or miss, but I’ve got no doubt you’ll find someone who isn’t only a top notch person, but also has very strong opinions on Jay Wright’s suits and the strength of the Big East as a whole. In the meantime, here’s some hockey fluff for you because it’s the Dad’s Trip for the Rangers this weekend and we should all have feelings:

“He’s trying to organize my locker.”

“He’s having a good time!”

“Nuh uh, I genuinely think he’s losing his mind. He came into the locker room and started examining my stick tape.”

“Well, I mean, you’ve got a ton of stick tape,” Emma pointed out, but that was only met with another groan and the single most ridiculous eye roll she’d ever seen in her life. “This is a good thing.”

“He’s taking this way too seriously,” Killian argued. “This is not the first time Mr. V has been on this trip.”

“It is the first time he’s responsible for two of you, though.”

Killian gritted his teeth, the objection almost obvious on the tip of his tongue from the visitor’s locker room in Florida. He didn’t actually say anything though and Emma shouldn’t have taken some kind of twisted victory in that, but the whole thing was absurdly sentimental and decidedly familial and—

“Ah, that’s true,” Killian sighed. “Although now I seem like kind of a jerk.”

“Nah, you seem like someone who’s questionably worried about his stick tape.”

“It’s an exact science, Swan.”

Emma hummed, eyes flitting towards the half door at the other end of the hall and the two year old who better still be taking a mid-afternoon nap if they were going to last an entire night at the restaurant without any sort of meltdown. “Still asleep,” she mumbled. “Do you think you get, like, super Dad power now? With Mr. V there and your own kid here—what would you call it? Dad squared?”

“That may be a less exact science, honestly.”

“It sounds more impressive than anything to do with stick tape.”

Killian clicked his tongue, fingers finding the back of his hair when he leaned forward slightly. “Lucas said there were half a dozen want to be stories.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. It’s a good story.”

“They should lead with the stick tape part.”

“You’re being difficult on purpose,” Emma accused, mostly so she could work a smile out of him and that was probably a less twisted type of victory. Killian shook his head.

“I’m not. I just—“

“—Scarlet probably wouldn’t want the press.”

“Exactly that.”

And, really, Emma understood – on both fronts, because it was an incredible story and an emotional story, but the last few weeks had been decidedly depressing and Will kept hitting people a little harder than normal, like the loss of everything was only manageable when he was pushing another human being into the boards.

Will had promised he was fine, sworn up and down several different metaphorical posts and, maybe, the actual goal post, just because he could and, possibly, because Ariel kept trying to stage interventions in the hallway of the Garden, but he was an exceptionally bad liar. It was honestly starting to get insulting.

He’d only missed one game – for the wake and the funeral and Will told them not to come. “You guys are on an eight-game point streak,” he’d said. “Don’t fuck that up for me.”

They won the game.

And Emma almost trusted the smile on Will’s face when he got back.

Or she thought she had until, a few days before when Belle had tugged Killian into the corner of the restaurant and there was some murmuring and questions and rocking back and forth on their feet. And Mr. Vankald had agreed enthusiastically – one dad for two hockey kids with slightly depressing backstories and far too many stick tape superstitions.

It was an exceptionally good story.

“Ruby won’t let that see the light of day,” Emma promised. “She can get requests from here to San Jose. It won’t make a difference.”

Killian’s eyebrows jumped. “Was that the farthest city you could think of?”

“Be impressed by my geographic knowledge.”

“Be impressed by stick taping technique.”

She laughed, doing her best to keep the sound as quiet as she could because she really was not trying to deviate from the nap schedule. “Where are they even? Don’t you guys have stuff to do?”

“Probably practicing slap shots somewhere.”

“Ah, is that a note of kid-type jealousy I hear, Cap?”

“Nah,” Killian shook his head, but Emma could hear that lie too. She pursed her lips. “I mean, maybe. No. God, no, actually. Because then I sound like a jerk and this is nice. I just—“

“—Want your stick tape left in the right order?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but there were footsteps coming and Emma had to bite back another laugh when Killian sat up a bit straighter. “You look like you’re about to get grounded,” she mumbled, digging her teeth into her lower lip when he glared at her.

“Not grounded,” Mr. Vankald promised as he moved into the frame. He was wearing head-to-toe blue and a Rangers hat, but there was a ‘C’ on his t-shirt and the tips of Killian’s ears had gone red. “Maybe reprimanded a little. And wondering if he was ever going to come out on the ice.”

Killian blinked. “You guys were on the ice?”

“And waiting for you, Cap,” Will said. He waved at the camera when Killian turned slightly. “Hey, Em. Did he call to say hi to you or just to see if Dr. J was awake?”

“If that kid wakes up in the next forty-five minutes I’m going to walk to Florida and punch all of you in the face. I mean, not you, Mr. V, obviously.”

“Obviously,” he echoed, the hint of a smile tugging at the ends of his mouth. “Very strict nap schedule, huh?”

“He wants to watch the game.”

“Ah, I can’t even make fun of that,” Will groaned, dropping next to Killian.

Emma made a face. “Stop the presses.”

“You’re hysterical.”

“You were making horrible jokes.”

Will shrugged, gritting his teeth when Killian elbowed him in the side and mumbled something that sounded like move, God under his breath. He didn’t move. “Something about a defense mechanism or something.”

“Yeah, I know,” Emma said. She kind of wished she was in Florida. For several different reasons, but partially because she knew Killian had called partially on the off chance that they weren’t following the nap schedule and partially because Will Scarlet wasn’t very good at pretending he was ok.

Mr. Vankald clapped him on the shoulder. And smiled at Emma.

“Why’d you guys come back in here?” Killian asked, working another sound out of Will.

“Cap, are you kidding me? They’re doing some kind of skills thing for the internet and, oh shit, did you come up with that, Em?”

She was going to bite her lip in half. Or possibly just melt under Killian’s gaze. He stared at her with something that felt like disbelief and, maybe, wishing she were in Florida too.

“Swan?”

“Aw c’mon, it’s not a big deal,” she mumbled. “And, yeah, I did. I—well, Rubes and I were talking about promo and they’ve got cooperate sponsors for this now, which is insane and—“

“—Focus, Em,” Will chuckled.

“Shut up. Anyway. They’ve got sponsors and that means more content and a video of you guys teaming up with your dads and trying to score against other guys…well, it made sense. Imagine those clicks.”

“Those clicks,” Killian repeated, and the look got stronger or more something and they all froze when a noise came from the other end of the hall.

“A ridiculous number of clicks. And good internet vibes.”

“Can I make fun of that?” Will asked, Killian already nodding in agreement.

“Shut up,” Emma repeated.

He saluted. And Mr. Vankald started to laugh – quiet at first, with one hand still on Will’s shoulder and only half of him in the camera frame and Emma wasn’t sure where to look, but her eyes kept flitting back to Killian and his slightly red ears and—

“Well, this means I win by default, doesn’t it?” he asked. “I’ve got two kids. One with an incredible wrister and the other with stick-handling skills unparalleled by anyone else in the league.”

“He read that off the team website,” Killian muttered.

“It doesn’t make it any less true. We’re absolutely going to win. Locksley and his dad will be distraught.”

“That’s definitely the spirit, Mr. V,” Will grinned, glancing up with something that felt like almost genuine emotion on his face. Emma looked back at Killian.

He winked.

“Must be a family trait.”

“Something like that,” Emma agreed. “I think that means you guys are guaranteeing goals later. Or at least points. An assist to set up each other? That’s poetic, right?”

“There is no poetry in hockey, Em,” Will argued.

“Isn’t there though? Something about stick handling.”

“Gross. Stop flirting with your husband for two seconds.”

“Was that flirting?”

“I thought it was flirting,” Killian cut in, a flash of a smirk and the tip of his tongue pressed to the corner of his mouth. Mr. Vankald laughed again. “Not our best maybe, but everyone goes through these little ups and downs.”

Will gagged, but then there were more footsteps and Robin shouting get on the ice and a stick, somehow, involved and the whole lot of them were overgrown children with their own children and far too competitive fathers. “Can we go?” Robin asked, nodding back towards the door. “Lucas is screaming about plans and posting times for optimal traffic.”

“She has no idea what she’s talking about,” Emma muttered.

“I’m going to tell her that.”

“You missed my face punching threat, but I’m including you in that too.”

“I’m sure you think that makes sense.”

“Alright, alright,” Mr. Vankald said, waving his hands through the air and Emma didn’t think she imagined the way they all rolled their shoulders back. “Let’s not torture Ruby on purpose. And, really, I think it’s about time we all showed off our skills, don’t you think?”

Emma met Killian’s smile with one of her own.

“Yeah,” Will said quickly, jumping up with an enthusiasm that belied everything that had happened in the last few weeks. “Let’s go shoot at some things. We’re going to totally wreck you, Locksley.”

Robin tilted his head. “That so?”

“You heard him,” Killian nodded. “Totally wrecked. Don’t you think, Swan?”

She winked. Or tried. It got Killian to laugh again. “Best stick handling in the game.”

And the videos did get a ridiculous number of hits across several different social media platforms – trash talk and technique and a perfectly wrapped stick and Emma got her goal and her assist later that night.

[lovinthepizzalife]

1975

There's a look on Cap's face that Tony can't quite decipher, but then, Tony's had about five hours of sleep in the span of six days, so maybe that's why. Either way, Cap's in his workshop, because JARVIS asked if he could enter and Tony said sure, because why not? Cap usually brought food, sometimes, and Tony couldn't really remember the last time he'd ate. It could have been yesterday, if yesterday was Saturday.

From the look on his face, if Tony's reading it right - he doubts he is, because again, five hours of sleep - then yesterday wasn't Saturday. Okay. Tony can probably deal with that.

He can't really deal with the fact that Roger's is holding something that looks like hospital notes, though.

"In my defence," Tony starts, raising his hands - ow, soldiering iron, put that down - and meeting Roger's eyes, "It probably wasn't my fault."

"Probably?"

"Maybe, then," Tony says instead, peeling his sweaty gloves off. "So, okay. You're in my shop, hurrah, but - why? I haven't done something without thinking again, have I? The last time I did -"

"I need to ask you something," Roger's interrupts, which, no. Tony's not doing that. Those words, in the history of them being used, have literally never meant anything good. Ever. Tony doesn't like this. He really, really doesn't fucking like this, and it must show, which, shit, because now Roger's looks sort of panicked. "Not anything bad! Well. Not anything as bad as you're thinking? I think." Roger's frowns, shifting on his feet.

"Give me the notes," Tony starts slowly, stepping forward, "And then I'll be the judge of that, yeah?"

Cap hands him the hospital notes - so Tony was right - and Tony reads them over. When he's done, he turns, grabs the closest hot thing, and sets them alight. Roger's panicked yell is pretty loud, but Tony really doesn't care, chest seizing on the memories of "this is for your own good, Anthony" and the knives and the fights and the fucking, fuck all of this. Fuck Roger's, and probably Natashalie, and most likely Barton, and Fury, and just. Bruce, honestly. Fucking Bruce. Fuck all of them, everyone, Tony doesn't care and then he cares too much and -

Sunset was better than this. At least she was fucking honest.

"J, get me a suit ready, and get Iced American the fuck out of my lab. Full blackout, start the protocol, you know the one, and just. Get me out of here, JARVIS. Please," he adds, a little desperately.

DUM-E and U, because they're so fucking good, he's never donating them, ever, shove Roger's out of the 'shop, whirring angrily. Roger's can't do anything with his super soldier strength without breaking them, and if he does Tony will honestly kill him, PR department and their panicked squawking be damned.

The suit closes around him, the workshop goes dark, and Tony says goodbye and fucking flees, no tact about it. He doesn't need any. Roger's can declare him dead or gone or a traitor, but what he did - what they did - is unacceptable, and because JARVIS is JARVIS, the PR department probably already knows what happened and are ready and willing to crucify Roger's and co., because they're good like that.

("And they knew Howard," a sly part of him whispers, grinning, "They knew the man the world called millionaire and you thought of as monster, but he was both, wasn't he? He was a millionaire monster and no one could do anything about it then. They still can't, can they? Poor, poor Tony, losing his daddy at seventeen. What was it he did again?"

Tony grits his teeth and the voice hums, gone metal, gone man, and then it's Ultron saying: "Better to ask what he didn't do, hmm? What's the answer, Tony? Oh yeah," Ultron says, feigning sudden realisation. "He didn't love you.")

"So, I got your message." Rhodey clears his throat, trying for a laugh. Tony closes his eyes - JARVIS will make sure he doesn't crash - and just. Listens, for a moment. Rhodey, who loves him. Rhodey, who's his brother. Rhodey, who sounds a little pissed. Great. "Quitting the Avengers, huh?"

"They got a hold of some hospital records," Tony answers cuttingly, voice cool. When Rhodey sucks in a breathe to start speaking, Tony barrels on with: "Not the public record ones. Do you remember me telling you about six months of private PT in 1975?"

Tony can almost hear him go white over the phone, breathes rushing out in a free fall of 'what the fuck' and 'why'. Tony's reaction was sort of similar, except no it wasn't, because the memories of being five years old, a year after the circuit board and a year before the car engine, made him panic so much he set the records on fire. He has no idea what he used to set them on fire, because honestly, all he could see was red, all he could fucking feel was red, and - oh. Rhodey's talking.

"Repeat that, honey bear? Please," Tony asks tiredly, eyes finally opening when he lands. New start, apparently, until he can gather himself to get all his shit. The team can stay in the tower, probably, but Tony doesn't want anything to do with them, not after this.

"I remember how many bottles you'd drank before I found and you started spewing out gibberish, among other things. Like how fucked up it was." Tony laughs a little, nodding to himself. Rhodey's right. That night had been so messed up, both the - the event, and when he was telling Rhodey about it. He was so, so fucking drunk and high and just fucked up in general. Rhodey, bless hi, dragged him into their dorm so no one else would hear about - that.

God, it's been decades and Tony still can't talk about it. How fucking hilarious is that.

"Bye, Rhodey," Tony mutters, hanging up. He lands, lets the suit fall away in scattered, blood red pieces. So much blood. Always so much red.

(Sometimes, when he blinks, there is an image of Howard standing above him, older than he'd been when Tony was a child. Howard is always smiling. He is always holding Tony's heart in his hands. He is always, always red.)

"Call Pepper and prepare the workshop, please." Tony thinks for a moment, staring at his bar. He hadn't thought to empty this one. Hadn't thought he'd ever see it again. "How many drinks do you think I'll halve if I try it, J?"

"Too many," JARVIS answers lowly, concern buzzing behind his voice. Tony chokes on a laugh.

"Good answer, J," Tony says, and turns away from it before he drinks a shelf or ten. As he descends the stairs, JARVIS phones Pepper. It doesn't go to voicemail, thankfully, because for some reason every time it does Tony says a little too much, but that doesn't matter when Pepper's picking up, tired.

"Hey," she greets, raspy voiced. Tony hums a little, the workshop doors sliding open. He'll need to get DUM-e and U and Butterfingers shipped over. The workshop is too empty without them. Is too empty with him in it. God, he's getting poetic again. He needs to stop that. "What's up? Do you need anything?"

"Just needed your voice?" Tony says, like he's joking, because of course. Tony Stark would never phone just for that.

"I'm not having phone sex, Tony," Pepper says flatly, and it's absurd enough to make him laugh, kneeling like an idiot on the floor of his workshop, hand against his mouth, choking on the laughs. "What? Tony, are you okay? Should I -"

"It's fine, Pep," Tony manages, wiping his eyes. "I needed to laugh, thanks. How's the company doing, by the way? I was thinking of doing some work today."

"What's brought this on?" Pepper asks curiously, and oh. She hasn't read the message, then.

"I quit the Avengers," Tony blurts, which. Not the smartest thing he's done, but today hasn't been a smart nor good day. Or week, since he hasn't slept and when he has it's been the wormhole, space, open and endless and infinite all around him, the darkness from between the stars filling his lungs and oh god he can't breathe, oh g o god -

He's falling he's falling he's falling he's falling so hard so fast so long and no one is there to catch him oh g o d -

"I muted the call, sir," JARVIS says, and then lists it off, dates and names and scientific laws. Those are facts, presented in a cool, clinical sort of tone, but it's real and Tony can breathe a little, back shaking against his workbench. The world didn't end. New York is still in once piece. Nicholas J. Fury is an asshole, but the world didn't end. Nothing ended. Tony's okay, and JARVIS is there. Okay. It's fine.

He's fine.

(Ultron blinks red red eyes at him and grins, lazy and predatory. "Is it really?" He rumbles, metallic, and Tony pretends he can't hear it.)

"Sorry about that Pep," Tony says brightly when the call unmutes, forcing a smile. He can do this. "I quit the Avengers, yada yada, PR is dealing with it, yada yada, the Avengers got a hold of some private hospital records, you get the drill."

"Oh my god, Tony," Pepper says mournfully. There's a sound like rustling over the phone, like she's moving in what Tony assumes is her bed, since it was sort of late when Cap entered Tony's shop. Maybe. Tony in't really sure, because he still hasn't slept and his mind's a mess, all hazy and floaty, so. God, he hates these moments.

"It's fine," Tony mutters, crawling out from under his work bench. He can do this. Handle it a little longer, Stark, this isn't nothing compared to the third kidnapping, come on. "I'll put more time into fixing the company, clean up any trash if need be, just. Give me a little time, okay?" Way to go, Stark. Way to fucking go.

"Will that be all, Mr. Stark?" Pepper asks, murmuring, because great, she caught on to it. Brilliant.

"That will be all, Mrs. Potts," Tony answers, and the call clicks off. Silence.

He's not fine.

---

Guess whose laptop got fixed? Mine! Guess who wrote almost two thousand words to celebrate? Me. I am not managing my time wisely, but in my defence - I got nothing. Anyway:

@tonystarkismyprompt I hope this is up to par, and also, enjoy! I’m pretty sure you should know what prompt this was inspired by, but either way, I hope you enjoy :D