Tumgik
#i have so so so many bad days and i know they wont go away
widowmaker · 1 year
Text
i used to hate the summer. i hated the excessive heat and the disgusting humidity. it made me feel even more sour with my birthday being in July. Winter is my favorite season. I love the cold, the ice, the dry and crisp air. Planned a good portion of my life to live anywhere up north where the summer seasons are minimal. But after meeting Sloane everything changed. Sloane is the complete opposite; loves summer. Loves the sweltering heat and humidity that leaves you sticky. I couldn't understand why. She showed me why he loves the summer. The blooming flowers and fruiting trees. The buzzing of bumblebees gathering nectar and the distinct call of a red-tailed hawk. The feeling of a warm sunny day, but the occasional cool breeze that wafts by while you lay in the grass. I began to love summer now too. I find myself craving it. Craving the blasting sun and the sticky feeling of humidity after trail walks and I never realized until now how much I have changed. It’s not just the seasons, but other things I’ve disliked or barely cared about my whole life previously. I don’t think we realize how omnipotent love is. Not just to be loved, but specifically to love. I can’t stop thinking about the saying “to be loved, is to be changed” and the changes that often happen are frivolous by most standards and so, they are forgotten or ignored. But I think all of those frivolous little changes I’ve went through, whether it occurred from the love of Sloane, family, the friends that have stayed, the friends that have left, and even the animals and plants I’ve come to care for...I think once you become cognizant of all that’s been altered inside you, it shakes you to your core in a way that feels like you’ve been drowning in a sempiternal ocean before finally finding the strength to break the surface for air.
7 notes · View notes
penisbilt · 5 months
Text
the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
12 notes · View notes
super-psycho-lov3 · 7 months
Text
it doesnt even matter it doesnt even matter it doesnt ever matter it doesnt even
#im just really tired i guess#i have too many bruises and i cant keep eating a meal a day#its just really tiring getting lied to#people think they care but they really.. just dont?#say you care but im making dinner because you have work and oliver needs it more. as if i havent been making dinner all week.#as if i didnt spend the past two days walking 2-5 miles every day.#'youve been so snappy' as if i didnt clean the whole living room. as if it isnt my fucking bed time. as if you care about my problems.#'olivers here if you need anything' yeah. sure. as if he wont groan and huff at best.#'im sorry i have to go to work' as if youd do anything different#'im not as bad as people make me out to be' 'youre being brainwashed' as if i didnt have to spend all day at my friends house#the day i was persrcibed testosterone because i knew what youd do if i stayed at home#as if you didnt threaten to take it away when i didnt listen to you#just... im jusy so tired. once my mom asked me 'whose birthday did i forget this year?' referring to my siblings.#she was buying gifts. we never celebrated my birthday. didnt have the heart to tell her it was ME. im justs o tired. im so tired#it really sucks to know that — that our sect of the sys is back out because#because we feel. so. Lost. worthless and lost a and alone#doesn't feel like our family is anything at all. and im here because#because of that. i hate that. i hate knowing why i hate it#i hate knowing who and what caused this im so tired i want my brothers i want my sister i want to get out of here for a while i just need to#get out#its so stupid im the oldest sibling but i want my siblings so bad they would never let me down#fucking NEVER! never. not in a way that could ever really matter. just. god#vent post#free to respond#???#i dont fuckin care if you reblog or reply or whatever. im just so tired i just need to yell you guys can say whatever#i got yelled at for reminding them to schedule my fucking root canal anf i just cant take it . so#im. im so hungry okay? im just so hungry#im hungry and tired and sore and so fucking alone and i cant fucking take it#cant eat right now n even if i could i wouldnt have the food so
2 notes · View notes
the-kipsabian · 1 year
Text
stressed
4 notes · View notes
claratyler · 11 months
Text
the thing we need to understand is that the pope is not at all pro-lgbt rights in anyway. Does he oppose violenece/hate as a blanket sort of core belief? Yes, so this includes violence and hate towards a queer person. But that doesnt mean he believesthat being queer is something to be celebrated, let alone acceptable.
Does he say any gay person can join in the mass? Yes, as a blanket sort of core belief because christianity is supposed to be for everyone, and nobody, regardless of their moral failings (such as being queer, which IS regarded as a moral failing), should be turned away from participating in the holy rituals or getting close to God.
The thing you need to understand about modern day catholics is that many of them will look you in the face and say "Being gay is not a bad thing. We all have temptations we have to stay clear off. It's not the fact that you have this inclination that defines you, it's whether you choose to engage by thought and/or action instead of actively suppressing it that we look down upon." And then they'll tell you in a way they think is kind and helpful that they know a person who can help with treating that.
"The pope now accepts trans people!" Are you sure. Are you really sure
Tumblr media
How do you think this is going to fare in reality when the parameters for this "acceptance" are "pastoral prudence" and "public scandal" and "educational disorientation".
Also, on gay people:
Tumblr media
This is literally what i was saying: A gay person who represses their inclinations is what they mean by leading a life that conforms to the faith. Thats why a gay person in a gay relationship/marriage (which btw gay marriage is not existent in the roman catholic church, the very notion is a contradiction in their eyes) could not be eligible.
And why do i know allthis and why am i ranting about this? Because #CatholicUniTrauma and im tired of people misunderstanding how fucked up the entire catholic church is because of misleading headlines or quotes taken out of context. The pope is not woke. Seriously.
quoted article: The New York Times' "Vatican Says Transgender People Can Be Baptized and Become Godparents" by Jason Horowitz, Elisabetta Povoledo, and Ruth Graham. Published Nov 9 2023 (tumblr wont let me paste the link for some reason)
3K notes · View notes
venusandlotus · 2 months
Text
Pick a pile
What are the themes that your life will have from 5 years from now on?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pile 1 —> 2
Pile 3 —> 4
Like and reblog if u liked my reading :)
.
.
.
.
Pile 1
Queen of swords , knight of swords , 10 of pentacles , 8 of cups
•mental health
•financial stability
•walking away from something
According to the cards the themes may revolve around walking away from something , not necessarily a toxic situation or person but it can be also moving away from a place or maybe leaving a job , leaving university and I also see most of you having a good mental diet at that time and even if you are not having a good mental state right now but in this comming 5 years you mental health will be alot of better and you will know how to choose your words wisely and you wont let anybody take upperhand upon you easily the only advice i want to give you here is to have an honest talk with yourself when you are confused about something and put ur energy only on making yourself better bit by bit each day , the other thing i noticed is that if some of you are concerned about financial stability then it will improve too. Its more like an- upgraded life in this comming 5 years .
Pile 2
The devil , the chariot , 5 of cups , king of cups
• conflicting situation ( a situation which will need full clarity )
• loosing someone or maybe leaving somone / leaving things behind
• finding hope at the end
So for this pile I may warn you not to trust anybody or jump into any projects or deals instantly in these comming years. The devil card can represent any kind of toxicity because a lot of you will be reading this and all of yall have different lives so the toxic thing can be anything in your lives it can be a relationship, it can be a friendship, it can a place which doesnt brings you hope ( smwhere u stay ) , it can be also a business deal . For those who are into work related things please read terms - agreements , rules and regulations carefully to avoid future regrets , not saying dissapointment or loss is comming or it is going to happen for sure but just be safe and alert regarding your personal and important things , this pile is more like warning for some of you and this also goes for students for education - universities related things too coz it is possible that u might even meet toxic company there and for the remaining people i would like to advice you guys to not to give in easily on new people bcoz the cards here seems fishy I know that at the end things will work out and for majority of you even if something like this happens , at the end you will be more balanced after the so called situation but some of you can fall into bad things so take this as a sign of warning .
Pile 3
Three of cups , the hermit, the sun , page of cups
•living a balanced life
•meeting new people
•isolating when needed
For this pile most of you guys will be leading on a balanced life filled with good energy , balanced mental health. I also see most of yall being with people with whom u get along with every well , if u dont have many friends its possible that u might meet people who share same intrest/passion as you or u may find yourself in a place where there are lots of people . As there is also the hermit card here but its not alone this card appeared along with the sun card so maybe some of you may even find comfort in isolating yourself ( if u are an extrovert ) but i do sense that even if you isolate urself you will be able to create a balance between ur social life and personal life easily so it wont be a mess . When i started reading for this pile i sensed lots of happy moments and happy get togethers with loved ones so its also possible that there will be celebration or addition of new people in the family . A lot of yall have different lives so take what resonates.
Pile 4
The emperor , the lovers , four of wands , the world
•getting married / finding your soulmate
•getting your dream job / getting a job that helps u alot more than u even expected
•meeting a lot of like minded people
So for this pile all these cards really pointed out towards marriage lol i was surprised at first if some of you guys are thinking of getting married then its likely to happen , its also possible that some of you may even find your soulmate within these comming 5 years and another thing is that if some of you have unresolved family issue or problems its possible that they might get a little bit lighter in these comming 5 years and for some of you its possible that you might even get the jobs that u have always wanted but these comming 5 years will be positive and favourable for you another thing i can also interpret is that even if you are living in a bad situation right now its possible that u might leave that behind soon in these comming years and u will love your life again .
999 notes · View notes
poppy-metal · 4 months
Note
what if i said the words step dad patrick……….. fucking ur mum for a place to stay when he finds your cute little college ass and oh look! you’re into tennis! he can show you some stuff if you like, he used to play art donaldson and win………..
why would you say this to me. what have u done what have you wrought. wow this got away from me and i ended up giving us a whole backstory here my bad fr.
i imagine you're visiting home from college - a prestigious one - not excited, in the least. probably a horrible relationship with your mother, father nonexistent, out of the picture. probably got into tennis as just a hobby, but it turned into a way to channel all your anger and resentment built up towards your mother - how she never pays attention to you, how money and jewelry and the next man who'll blow smoke up her ass to leech off her, is more important to her than you are. every slam of your racket against the ball is you smashing a vase in your picture perfect mansion.
so, no, you're not happy to be coming back for the summer but all your friends are going back home and you dont want to be the one girl on campus who wont go back home - you dont want to be that girl. you're perfect over there, you're good. no one knows you hate your mother and mourn a father you dont even know the name of. no one knows you feel so alone it empties your chest out sometimes, leaves you with a pit that feels like its rotting you inside out. you're good at tennis, and you're cool and you're friendly and you have men falling all over you. they never fill that void, but its nice to feel desired. even if their age stifles you. irritates you. immaturity grinds your gears.
so, no, you're not eager to throw all that pretend and comfort away for the summer. lugging your suitcases up the pristine driveway with a scowl already in place. wondering if your mother will even notice you entering the door. probably not. probably she's already out, or making plans to be so.
anyway, you're miffed and moody and not at all prepared for when a man jogs up to you. you startle when a hand, a very tan hand connected to a strong arm - arm that has fine hair, and veins and muscles you can see - intercepts you to take the handle of your suitcase. you look up.
you look up to see the hottest man you've ever seen in your life grinning down at you. dark curls damp with sweat, heat kissed skin, freckles and seagreen eyes. tall and broad, and soaked in sweat. his tank top is practically see through, you can see through. right to his equally strong chest, which is hairy and tan looking - two twin nipples peaking, red and flushed. you throat feels dry. "uh."
"fuck, hey." he lets go of your suitcase to shake your hand. you limply let him. hes smiling at you in a practiced sort of way, almost like hes nervous. odd since hes clearly older than you. but hes trespassing, so maybe thats why. "i wanted to get cleaned up before i met you, but you're early, huh. i was just on the court - here let me."
he takes the handle of your luggage again. he seems to know you already and you squint. a familiar feeling of irritation filling you. hes not so different looking from all the help your mother has hired over the years, pool boys and yardworkers and the like. young men she could ogle. although this man does seem older - he's definitely ogle worthy. more than.
your mouth twists in a sneer. you haven't even gotten into your house and you're already dealing with your mothers shit. you can't be fucked.
"rule number one," you snap, curt, jerking your luggage back from his grip. you try to stand tall, but he still easily towers above you. no matter. you're still above him in station. "dont fucking touch my stuff."
you flick your hair behind your shoulder as you make to walk by him. you hear his sharp inhale of suprise. curious since you're definitely sure your mother has degraded him in many ways by now. he should be used to be talked down to. maybe its his first day.
he comes up in front of you again, walking backwards as you walk forwards, with a kind of ease that irritates you. he holds his hands up, placating, still smirking, which irritates you even more - "got it. got. you know she warned me about you - didn't think you'd try to bite my fucking head off so soon, though."
something in your gut sours. not new, then. your mother has spoken to.... the help, about you? this makes you uncomfortable. prickly and hot like you just found out someone had been talking shit about you behind your back. your hackles rise.
you stop in your tracks. glare at him.
"my mother spoke to you about me?"
his eyebrows - he has annoyingly smooth eyebrows, annoyingly long lashes too - lift, as if to say, 'fucking duh.' he makes a so and so motion with his hand, you glimpse a ring on one of his fingers. "here and there."
your grip around the handle of your suitcase burns its so tight. you think you could melt it with your anger if you concentrated long enough.
"and? what did the bitch say?"
a shocked laugh leaves his lips at your curse. your eyes narrow because you dont find it funny and because the longer you are around him the more you notice about him and the more attractive he noticeably is becomes apparent to you. when he lifts a hand to run it through his hair, the muscles in his arm bunch and flex under his skin - which is still very much gleaming with sweat.
"man, its fucking bad with you. the mommy issues -" he has this little smirk, one that lifts one side of his mouth more than the other. "- she said you were a fucking brat, that i shouldn't bother with trying to make a good first impression. i can kinda see why now."
yeah, you really dont appreciate his attitude. hes hot and all, but he's spoken way out of turn and you're done entertaining it. you want to go inside and flop onto your bed and scream.
you take a step forward and poke him in the chest with a manicured nail - he looks down at it, like, oh hey - sharply. "just because you have a pretty face and a big dick my moms probably sucked more than once, doesn't mean you're fuck all to me. you're still just the help. you can remember that when you're cleaning up my shit." you take your hand away, trying and failing not to smile like a bitch when his lips part in shock at your words, knocking his - fucking broad - shoulder with yours as you walk past him. you pause at the steps to turn just a little. he's looking at you with this unreadable expression, but if you'd have to guess you'd say it closely resembles amusement. "and I'd like a smoothie. have it brought up to me ASAP or I'll make your life here hell, got it?"
you raise an eyebrow.
his mouth finally snaps shut. you hate that he still looks amused. his lips just barely quirking. he works his jaw like he wants to say something but thinks better of it, biting his bottom lip instead as he looks up at you with those green eyes.
"got it."
-
its sometime later when you wake up. head a fucking rats nest. you've just managed to drag yourself out of bed and to the chair in your vanity, working a pink brush through what you can of your locks when your door flings open.
you dont even look up from the mirror. only one person wouldn't respect the privacy of a closed door and what it means.
"hello, mother." you say cooly, not taking your eyes from the mirror. you try to smooth the brush through your end strands first, coaxing your hair into submission. she's probably here to rub something in your face under the guise of saying hello. a new car she'd bought, a new boyfriend she has, a new vacation home she rented in malibu, ect.
her perfume fills your nostrils with its potent stench as she sashays into the room - your room - and perches her ass on your vanity, rudely jostling several trinkets there. your eye twitches. you brush some more of your hair.
"hello, my darling girl."
her voice is faux sweet. the pet name makes you want to flinch, recoil from its fake meaningfulness from her cold lips. they dont mean anything coming from her. you're not her darling anything. she'd treat a purse more fondly than you. yet, she calls you these sweet things sometimes. you think because it amuses her to play the part of a doting mother. she did always love acting.
you dont say anything more. work the brush. easy and slow wins the race. you remember when you used to be so frustrated with your hair you'd yank the brush through it in a rush, until your scalp bled from the stinging yanks. you'd lose clumps. an act of self harm, your therapist had told you. anxiety of not being perfect. you'd forgotten to put hair serum in your hair to make it easier to deal with before you'd fallen asleep. you shouldn't forget such things. your meeting with that man had rattled you.
"i have some wonderful news."
your mother drums her fingers on your dresser. you imagine her fingers as a witches, long and spindly. no amount of cream and lotion could hide her aging. that made your lips quirk.
"oh? what is it?"
"I've met someone."
not new. you barely restrain the urge to roll your eyes. brush some more hair. you've worked mid way to the top now. almost to the roots.
"have you." you couldn't sound more bored if you tried. really, you couldn't.
"i have." she lets out a swoony breath - "oh, hes wonderful, darling. he's different from the others. treats me like a woman ought to be treated - not that i expect you to know - and its going so well."
you've heard it all before.
"why, he's asked me to marry him!"
you hairbrush stills. you look at your mother for the first time. shes beaming. you feel sick all at once when you look down to her hand - see the ring she's flashing at you, gaudy and dramatic.
"i bought it for myself, of course. he's not the richest man - but he's wonderful! I'd like you to meet him - "
your memory flits back to hours ago, when the man you'd assumed was the help had lifted his arm, hand sifting through his hair and you'd caught a flash of something around his finger - silver in constant with his tan skin - a ring.
your lips part at the same time your brush snags on its first tangle, and footrests, heavy, thumping, a mans, approach your room. your mothers puttering is like static to you now, your eyes flitting from her to the door - and there he is. filling your doorframe. leaning against it with a kind of confidence like he belongs there. like the house is his.
"- eet patrick zweig." your mothers voice comes back to you. you imagine her mouth splitting open from how wide shes smiling - teeth flashing at you like a horse. "my husband. your new stepdad!"
she leans back against him and he wraps and arm around her easily. drops a kiss to her stiff hair, but he doesn't take his eyes off you when he does. everything about him is screaming cat that got the cream. his eyes are twinkling. his cheeks dimpling with a barely hidden grin.
"and." your mother claps. so fucking full of energy, the old bat. "he plays tennis!!! isn't that the most beautiful thing - he used to play with that - oh whats his name, honey -"
"art donaldson." patricks voice is thick and smooth. easy like syrup. he's still looking at you. pinning you with his gaze like you're one of those taxidermied bugs with its wings splayed open on display. "yeah, we used to play together. beat him a couple times."
"him, yes! oh, i told him all about your crush. dont flush, sweetheart, you had his posters in your room! and i thought- wouldn't it just be so fun if patrick and you trained together during the summer! oh, i know I've just been a mess over the years." she puts a hand to her heart - where it would be if she had one, that is - "bringing men in and out of our home. i can only imagine how lost you've felt without a proper male figure in your life. well, no more."
she pats patricks chest. hes opted out of a tank top for a soft cotton top. it hugs his frame too well.
"patrick here is all the father figure you'll need. thing's are really going to change around here, button. we'll be a family."
"a family." you echo, hollow.
"of course." patrick nods. he wants to grin so fucking had you can tell. "oh - and here you go - " he hands you a smoothie he'd been holding, you take it numbly. humiliation burns through you at the memory of how you'd talked to him before. when you'd assumed he was the help. "- that smoothie you wanted."
you stare at him. not sure what to make of any of this. your pride is shot to shit, you're embarrassed, you're angry, you're you're you're -
"and dont worry, babe." he jostles your mother under his arm. he's still. looking at you. you can see what the emotion was now - from before - worse than amusement. fucking glee. he's eating this shit up. "we'll get along just fine. won't we?"
no. no you absolutely fucking wont.
but saying that wont get you anywhere. not just yet. you set your smoothie down and try to smile. it feels wooden. this feels like a chess game suddenly, and hes knocked down one of your knights. and you have to try not to fucking scramble as you jump to defend your queen.
"sure." great move. real intimidating. that'll show him.
"yeah." he smiles at you - kisses the side of your moms head. "why don't you get dinner started, hm?"
you try not to gape as your mother preens and flushes like a housewife. your mother cooking. in the kitchen? preforming labor? doing tasks? willingly? you watch her flit out the room in a daze, wondering if fairies are real and one of them has bodysnatched your mother.
its just patrick and you now. the air in the room thickens with that fact, and you swallow. you've never felt this out of place. never felt so blindsided. not in awhile. you'd made sure of that. taken deliberate steps to adorn armor to prevent yourself from feeling this way. from feeling small. from feeling like the barely adult that you are, freshly nineteen and still so fucking confused and raw and scrambled about everything in your life. not at all like the 30 something in front of you who is a fucking man. a full adult. a full frontal lober. who's been through shit, you can tell, by the callouses on his palms, the hair on his body, his stubble, and the enormity of him in your space. in your little girl room that's still all pink ribbons and plushies on your bed and fairy lights strewn everywhere. he feels like the big bad wolf leering down at your straw fucking house, seconds away from blowing that shit to the ground.
you say nothing.
he crosses his arms and takes his time looking at you. you feel every touch of his eyes on your body, suddenly aware of how little you're wearing. just a sheer nightgown. you feel your nipples pebbling under the fabric that's definitely fucking see through and swallow.
"so."
he lets that hang in the air.
and what can you fucking say? you haven't had the time to recalibrate. you hairs still a mess.
"so.... what?"
you want to stand up - make the playing feild more even except thats a fucking joke because hes taller than you regardless. you feel pinned to the spot anyway, your muscles locked in place in your little chair. like you haven't been given permission to move. its the oddest feeling.
"she's right you know." he tells you, and he eases off the door frame, comes closer so you have to crane your neck up to look up at him. you feel demeaned. and yet, you dont look away. "things are different around here - they have been for awhile now."
you find some semblance of your fucking fire. try to hold your little straw house together. glare up at him.
"you can swing your dick around all you want and make my mom cook and clean for you but you're not the boss of me. you're not my dad."
he just looks at you. folds his lips together. his tongue peeks out to run against the front row of his teeth, wolfish.
the lean in is so jarring you nearly fall out of your chair. you do let out a squeak, jolting as your space is invaded suddenly by him, his arms braced on either side of you, one gripping the neck of your chair. his breath smells like spearmint and the chain around his neck swings back and forth as he gets in your face.
he straightens back up. casually like he didn't just rock your whole world off its fucking axis.
"you think I haven't dealt with you before? i fucking was you - spoiled little rich kid with mommy issues and no fucking daddy. s'that why you think you can stick your fucking nose up at me? dont try to play the game with the man who wrote the fucking rulebook. your display back there at being a big girl was cute, I'll give you that, but it ends there. this is my fucking house now. my fucking rules. and as long as you want to park your polished little ass here in your princess castle you'll listen to me." he does grin then, "I'm your daddy now."
"we cool?"
what can you do?
"we're cool."
he just blew your fucking straw house down.
519 notes · View notes
iheartmapi · 26 days
Note
heyyy,
can you write alexia x reader angst if youre ok with it?
like them having a pretty harsh argument (because of what ever reason, you decide) and saying the meanest things to eachothet. Even though the argument startet soft, it ended with alexia saying stuff like: „the team is even successful without you we dont actually need you!“whilst r is trying to recover from an bad injury or „sometimes you truly are pathetic you know“ or maybe „can you shut tf up!? Is it possible seeing you and not getting annoyed of you for once?!“ or „no wonder you failed/lost/couldnt achieve/dont/ cant do this or that etc.. (the phrases are related to reader’s insecurities) alexia ends up going for a walk but when she returns r already put alexias bed stuff on the Couch and wont let her in the bedroom. After 1-2 days of not talking and ale trying to apologize, r comes up to her ( now even more insecure) happy but fearful ending pls make it as angsty as you possibly can. i hope it’s understood cause english isnt my first language:)
(I’ll try my best!!! Also don’t worry cause you wrote it perfectly and English isn’t my first language either so I get it)
Tumblr media
Teddy bear
(Yes I listened to Melanie Martinez’s teddy bear when writing this)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Summary: Alexia doesn’t always watch her words, and she sure as hell doesn’t during the most intense argument the two of you had ever.
Angst with a happy-ish ending.
TW: slightly toxic, degrading thoughts about one self, crude language,
Word count: 1,925
Tumblr media Tumblr media
15:00pm
The hour Alexia returned home after being away with the team for matches, she ran a hand through her blonde hair..Alexia loved her profession but it was still a very tiring one, all she was dreaming of in the moment was a nice warm bath to soothe her sore muscles and a good night’s sleep..
She dragged her feet through the front door and dropped her bags in the foyer and went ahead to the living room.
Upon entering Alexia’s eyes landed on you, you were relaxing on the couch with a random book by some bestseller author which really could be anyone, but you didn’t really care…you didn’t have much to do due to being prescribed to stay home to heal from a recent injury on the pitch. Lately you’ve been apprehensive and often worried all because of your injury and inability to play.
You looked up from your cheap book.
“Hi”
“Hey”
The exchange of words between the two of you was short and awkward, this weird tension appeared in the house and between you two before Alexia’s trip, its genesis wasn’t really clear to her..but she figured it was all a part of your hyper-sensitivity from the injury and would pass quickly anyways.
Alexia passed you and went to the kitchen to fetch herself a drink, she gulped some down, taking in the taste of being back home before returning to the living room, the silence went on, but you weren’t focused on your book anymore, though you pretended to be, secretly you were eyeing her every move, from when she walked into the living room to now as she was standing by the window looking outside.
You gulped, “Alexia?”
“Yeah?”
“Listen I-“ you rethought that “We…have something to talk about” the knots in your stomach were multiplying from stress each minute, Alexia was looking at you, the intensity of her gaze wasn’t helping you out.
“It’s about this specific..behaviour of yours” You started “I think you’re- um..I…” What were you supposed to say? You rehearsed this so many times before she came back yet now you felt as if you were on fire and your memory was gone. “I think sometimes you’re too touchy with others” you finally choked it out.
Alexia looked at you with an almost judging look “As in?” She stated sharply, “I mean like..we’re girlfriends you know? And I don’t want to forbid you from hugging others and stuff but sometimes you act so..intensely affectionate, like with Ona-“ Alexia immediately butted in “Are you being serious right now?” She belted at you “For fucks sake Y/n…you think I’m cheating on you with the whole team just because I hug them or something?” You feared this exact reaction from her “I didn’t say that…” You murmured “You kind of did though, I just got back and this is the greeting I get? Can’t you ever knock it down a notch?” She started ranting “You’re so melodramatic, as always” she scoffed.
“I’m not being melodramatic” you said, you felt weak against Alexia but you couldn’t just let her walk over you like this in this argument. “So it’s wrong of me to be afraid of my own damn girlfriend being so touchy with everyone?” You protested “It’s always like this, I’m the bad guy and you’re the victim”
Alexia took a deep breath, you swear you could detect the anger forming inside her pupils, then she opened her mouth, and yelled at you.
“Can you shut the fuck up?! Is it possible, seeing you and not getting annoyed of you for once?!” She scowled, you opened your mouth wanting to protect yourself, or calm her down, just say anything, but hell…it’s like every word ran away from you.
“See? You can’t even form a sentence, cause you know that you’re spitting straight bullshit” Alexia rolled her eyes “Sometimes you truly are pathetic you know”
Wow. Your eyes widened and you closed your mouth, not believing the clear poison coming out of your girlfriend’s lips. “I wanted you to get over this whole injury thing, wanted to try and make you happy, but you can’t do anything besides being stingy all the time. But you know what?” She waited a minute before adding “You’re stingy even without the goddamn injury, the team is successful, even without you! I hope you know we don’t actually need you?!” tears prickled at your eyes, begging to be let out, you couldn’t handle it, and they started running down your cheeks.
“Here you go now! Crying like a fucking baby, I’m not putting up with you right now” she barked before turning from you and heading out of the living room.
You sat still in your place like you were frozen, and truly you were, by the coldness Alexia just showed you, you heard her yelling “I’m going for a walk!” Before the front door swung shut. And then it came, you started crying, the tears marching down your cheeks and reaching your neck like a furious army, maybe she was right? She always was wasn’t she? Now you regretted ever mentioning that, but you acted stupid and brought up something that didn’t matter at all, now here you were, crying all alone like a big baby.
You stood up, your legs were shaking, in fact every inch of your body was, you stumbled towards the bedroom, feeling stupid but also cheated, the closet doors opened hastily and your shaky hands reached for every piece that belonged to Alexia, you took her bags from the foyer and threw everything inside…were you in an irrational state of mind? Yeah, probably…
Now everything of hers was in the bag, you glanced at the nightstand, seeing the framed picture of you two, kissing, but you couldn’t stand to see that happy memory right now. The frame was put down so that the photo couldn’t be seen by you and then you took the bags and simply threw them onto the couch, leaving them there for Alexia to see when she gets back. Now you didn’t really know what to do with yourself, finally you slumped on the bed like a picture of misery, left alone with your thoughts only.
Alexia knew she couldn’t stay outside all day even though you irritated her to the core, she just couldn’t understand why you were being so irrational…always acting so difficult, she thought to herself, she stomped down the street, already seeing the peak of the neighbourhood the two of you lived in, dreading seeing you again.
It was kinda weird, she started thinking about it deeply, she loved you, but at the same time you were such a big pain in the ass literally everyday..if only you wanted to cooperate and listen to her more most of your arguments wouldn’t even happen in the first place, you should know that she wasn’t your property, instead of being so damn jealous and giving her your attitude.
The house keys clicked in place and turned the locks to your home, though the home was literally a quiet battlefield lately. She sighed as her feet made contact with the familiar flooring. It was quiet, you were probably sulking in some corner and just didn’t want to greet her or make up for your stupid behaviour, always acting like a child afterwards such moments in your relationship.
The shock she felt when she entered the living room and was met with the sight of her bags atop the couch was immense. For a moment Alexia just started at them in disbelief before rage filled her again, she sauntered over to the bags observing them resentfully, where the hell were you? Cause she wasn’t going to let this go.
Kitchen, bathroom, small storage, balcony, backyard, nowhere. You were nowhere, but there was one place she hadn’t checked, the bedroom. There was no fucking way you just packed her bags and left the house, so you had to be there…
Firmly, her hand grasped the handle of the door, expecting to see you inside, acting like a saint..but the moment she turned it, it didn’t open, it was locked. So you were inside! Alexia angrily turned the handle a couple times more before knocking on the door. “Y/n?” She stated loudly, her tone was very passive aggressive, no answer. Then she just went ballistic and pounded on the door “Y/n! Let me in, god damn it!” Alexia didn’t stop until she heard your much quieter and shaky voice calling to her beyond the door. “I-I’m not letting you in Alexia!” You stated, “What?!” Her brows furrowed before she groaned in fury “This relationship is a fucking joke!” And then she stormed off.
You curled on the bed, thinking about what you’ve done, was this the correct way of handling things? Hell, you wished you knew, but nothing made sense to you now.
Two days, that’s how much time has passed since that ugly argument of yours, you eventually unlocked the bedroom and went out to see Alexia’s face filled with annoyance but she tried to talk to you once she saw you, weirdly calm for the emotions that were pulsating inside her, and in fact, she was the one trying to calm things down between you two, but you felt dumb and were too much of a coward to just accept it, the tension in the ENTIRE house was poisoning…and when you didn’t budge with Alexia’s apologies you two just stopped talking to each other
The insecure thoughts took root in your brain, eventually branching into a full tree with anxious and insecure fruits hanging from its twigs. After all, Alexia was always right about you.
The whole week couldn’t just go on like this. You took the tiny pieces of courage left in you and took them to use them to apologise to her, you kinda treated her like shit..and all for nothing, you did hug your teammates too after all…teammates, friends, family, people just have different ways of showing it.
On the morning of what was supposed to be the third day you finally spoke to Alexia
“Ale…I- I’m just so fucking sorry, okay? That was so stupid of me, I dunno..I guess it was in the heat of the moment- the thing is I love you, I don’t want to lose you. I was an idiot, if you don’t want to then fine, don’t accept this shitty apology but I’m begging you..” by the end of your apology tears were streaming down your cheeks again, as lately you have been crying often when Alexia had no way of seeing you.
You could see the gears turning in her head, trying to decide whether she was going to accept or refuse, she narrowed her eyes at you “Yeah, you were an idiot” then she added “But I guess I’m glad you can see that now, listen I just…” the blonde sighed “Please stop pulling shit like that, sometimes you really are too sensitive” she reprimanded you softly, it felt weird listening to this harsh “truth” about yourself, even weirder knowing that those air quotes weren’t needed because it was the most pristine truth. Then Alexia looked at you with an unsure manner, “I love you too, ok?” She then said, and you nodded, after that she turned to steal a glance at the morning sky.
You sighed to yourself, appreciating the so long awaited moment of calmness.
You should remember to listen to her at all times, even if it hurt slightly.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
230 notes · View notes
nhaaauyen · 2 months
Text
⁺˚⋆。°✩ FLOATING ✩°。⋆˚⁺
and baby i know you // sugar sweet like you always do
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
modern restaurant sev x reader au!: after your kiss on the beach, you return to work unsure of what it means now for the two of you. luckily, sevika answers that for you.
series masterpost: is it casual now? wc: 2.1k author's note: hi i could not sleep so i did the reasonable thing and wrote a sevika fic at 4am LMAOO i also wanted to try the headcannon format but I have no idea if I did it right smh </3 btw this is a sequel to is it casual now?and i wont be posting until exams are done (booo) but I hope you guys enjoy!!
♡ the beach kiss with sevika was everything - it was passionate and perfect in so many indescribable ways. but after you both parted ways, you realized you left without actually discussing your feelings - which by the way, was such a lesbian thing to do.
♡ now you're home, sprawled across your bed, staring at your phone like you could will it to buzz with a text from sevika. but the screen remains stubbornly blank. after what feels like an eternity of hopeful glancing, you finally toss it into a drawer. out of sight, out of mind. 
♡ but when you try to go about your nightly routine, your mind keeps drifting back to sevika. brushing your teeth, you remember what her lips taste like, like weed and sour candy. changing into pajamas? you’re wondering what she wears to bed instead.
♡ your resolve finally crumbles and you retrieve the phone, fingers trembling slightly as you unlock it. nothing. you wait a beat, then refresh again because maybe the universe is just running a little slow tonight. but it was, in fact not.
♡ in a moment of dramatic self-preservation, you shut off the phone completely. if you can't see the lack of messages, they can't hurt you, right?
♡ you huff in annoyance, and maybe you’re still a bit high, but it hurts... real bad.  you throw the covers on and shut your eyes, wishing for the ache in your chest to go away because it was one kiss - one magical kiss where sevika looked at you like you held the mysteries of the world and only she could uncover them. fuck, you had it bad.
♡ morning comes, and you're spectacularly late. why? because high-you thought turning off your only alarm was a genius move. clothes fly on haphazardly, hair gets half brushed, and you bathe in perfume to mask yesterday's lingering weed scent.
♡ you burst into the restaurant 20 minutes late, bracing for your head server's wrath. when you walk in, all eyes are on you and your ears turn red, from both the embarrassment of being late and the incident with your head server the day before.  
♡ beelining for the back to clock in, you instead collide with someone at the door. and of course out of everyone it could be, it's her. sevika, the one person you were hoping not to run into yet.
♡ "pagli?" the nickname stops you in your tracks. you look up, meeting that intense gaze that sends your mind reeling back to yesterday's kiss. suddenly, you're drowning in butterflies and the memory of how she looked at you like you were made of stardust.  sevika looked ridiculously good. she was wearing just her usual uniform with brown leather suspenders and a white collared shirt, but her muscles were stretched under the fabric and you’re starting to wonder how you survived working with her in the past few months.
♡ you start to stammer out an excuse, but sevika's already grabbing your arm, pulling you into the manager's office.  "your shirt has a bit of something," she says as she hands you a clean white shirt.  you look down to find a toothpaste stain, because of course.
♡ the awkwardness is palpable as you take the shirt, mumbling thanks while steadfastly avoiding eye contact. sevika seems to suddenly remember the concept of privacy and excuses herself. post-shirt-change, you brave the floor. your head server makes only one snarky comment about your tardiness. in your book, that's a win.
♡ the rest of your shift is normal. well, "normal" if you don't count your newfound spidey sense, or more accurately sevika-sense. it's like your body's attuned to her presence - you know when she's at the bar, talking to customers, probably when she blinks too.
♡ you catch her stealing glances at you across the room, and suddenly remembering drink orders becomes impossible. you don’t know how many tips you must’ve lost today from having to repeat orders.
♡ the kitchen is its usual chaos and when sevika squeezes in to help, the world narrows to the points where she touches. her hand on the small of your back as she passes, the brush of fingers as she takes plates from you - the feeling lingers even as you leave the kitchen.
♡ you're hyper-aware of every little interaction with sevika. but was it all in your head? are you reading too much into things? the uncertainty is maddening.
♡ the dining room is nearly empty as you put away the last of the chairs. a glance at the clock shows it's almost 11 pm.  suddenly, you realize how eerily quiet the restaurant is. where is everyone? 
♡ your question is answered by the soft strains of jazz floating through the air. huh. since when did the restaurant play music this late? assuming it's a speaker malfunction, you head to the kitchen to find sevika. when you find her, she’s surrounded by an array of ingredients on the kitchen counter.
♡ "where is everyone?" you ask, confused.
♡ "they left early. you didn't respond when someone asked if you were going out." mentally, you facepalm. of course you were spacing out earlier, definitely not to thoughts about a certain manager. you gesture to the ingredients. "what's all this?"
♡ "well," sevika says, "are you hungry?"  your stomach growls in response. traitor. "looks like i'm making a meal for two, then," she remarks with a sly smile.
♡ "wait, why are you still here?" you question.  "paperwork," she replies with a slight shrug. "can't leave yet." there's a pause, a moment of hesitation. "you can go if you want, though."
♡ you catch the hint of uncertainty in her voice. "well i have to stay to see if our manager can actually cook," you tease. sevika scoffs, "oh, i can cook. be prepared to have your taste buds forever changed."
♡ you laugh, moving closer. "can i help?" you settle next to her behind the counter. "promise you won't cut yourself? i can't afford any workplace injuries." she jokes.
♡ you roll your eyes dramatically. "i'm not that bad of a cook, you know."
♡ "we'll see about that," sevika chuckles, handing you a knife. as you start chopping vegetables, your arms occasionally brush against each other. the kitchen suddenly feels very warm, and it's not from the stove.
♡ "you eat meat?" sevika asks, eyebrow raised.
♡ "yeah, why?"
♡ she grins. "good. i'm making lamb curry." 
♡"i've never had that before." you admit. "never?" sevika looks shocked. "it's delicious." 
♡ you shrug, a bit embarrassed. "sorry, i don't usually eat what we serve to customers." sevika pauses, studying you for a moment. then her expression softens. "this is actually a recipe my dad passed down. the restaurant just got a shipment of curry leaves and peppers for next week's menu."
♡ "oh? will i be seeing this on the menu soon?" you ask, intrigued. she smirks, "i don't know. will my first customer like it?"
♡ the look she gives you makes you fumble with the knife. maybe you are that bad of a cook after all. or maybe it's just the effect she has on you. you're stirring the curry when sevika leans in. "give me a taste."
♡ you bring the spoon to her lips, but in your nervousness, you bump her nose instead. "no way you did that," she says in disbelief.  “that was definitely done on purpose.”
♡ "i did not!" you refute. "oh yeah?" she nudges the spoon, leaving a streak of curry across your cheek.
♡ "sevika!" you gasp, feigning outrage. she throws her head back, laughing. the sound makes your heart skip.
♡ "you suck," you mutter, fighting a smile. "i'm sorry, okay? come here." she grabs a rag, cupping your face gently as she wipes away the curry. your hand goes limp, spoon forgotten as you stare into each other's eyes. her hand is so gentle against your skin, the rag somehow feeling rougher than she does.
♡ the oven timer abruptly blares, shattering the moment. you both jump back, a bit flustered. when it's nearly ready, sevika asks you to set the table outside while she finishes up.
♡ "just sit down," she insists when you offer to help bring things out. she emerges with two steaming plates and a bottle of wine.  as you take in the ambiance - the soft lighting, the music, the intimate table setting - it hits you. this feels like a date. but you quickly push the thought away. you haven't even talked about what that moment on the beach meant yet.
♡ sevika's watching you expectantly as you take your first bite. the flavors explode on your tongue. "this is amazing," you say, eyes wide. "consider my taste buds changed forever."
♡ the smile she gives you in response is brighter than any star you've ever seen. you continue eating, stealing glances at each other over your wine glasses, and you have no idea how to stop the feeling like you’re floating right now. as you eat, the conversation flows easily. "you know, there used to be a dance floor here. silco had a band playing next to the bar."
♡ "what happened to it?" you ask. she shrugs. "people stopped using it. probably lost the confidence to dance in public." you chew thoughtfully, then suddenly stand up. "come on, let's dance."
♡ "what?" sevika looks at you like you've grown a second head.
♡ "there's music, good wine, and we're technically on an ex-dance floor," you argue, grinning. "it would be a crime if we don't dance."
♡ she hesitates. "i don't know how to dance."
♡ "neither do i," you admit, offering your hand. it's almost like an admission of something else - that you don't know how to navigate this new territory with sevika either.
♡ reluctantly, she takes your hand and stands. you pull her close, placing one hand on her waist as she rests hers on your shoulder. your first few steps are more stumble than dance. sevika chuckles, "i get why we took away the dance floor now."
♡ you shake your head, laughing. "we're god awful at this."
♡ "i know, but..." she trails off, her eyes meeting yours.
♡ "but what?" you ask, heart racing. she takes a deep breath. "but at least i get to hold you." your heart skips a beat. you look up from where your head was resting on her chest, only to find her already gazing at you with that same inscrutable look from the beach.
♡ it was like a magnetic force was pulling you together. suddenly, her lips are on yours, your hand tangled in her hair. she leans you back slightly, deepening the kiss in a move more graceful than any dance step you've attempted tonight.
♡ sevika’s lips are soft against yours, and you can taste the wine she drank from before on them.  as you part, she lets out a satisfied hum that vibrates through her chest and into yours. you keep your bodies close, foreheads touching, sharing the same breath.
♡ "was there any actual paperwork to do?" you whisper.
♡ she has a sheepish smile. "you caught me." 
♡ "the amount of kissing we did compare to work is starting to make sense now.” you quipped, feeling her shoulders rise and fall with her laughter. wrapped in her arms and still high from the kiss before, you find the courage to voice what's been on your mind. "i really, really like you." 
♡ sevika doesn’t respond with words but instead, with another kiss. when she pulls back, her eyes are twinkling. "dido?"
♡ you groan. "oh. my. god." her laughter fills the room, rich and genuine. "i really, really like you too," she enunciates clearly, her tone teasing. "better?"
♡ "way better," you affirm, pressing your head into her chest just like you did that first time by her car. but this time, it's different. where there was once uncertainty about your future with sevika, now there's a sense of rightness, of belonging.
♡ as you sway together in the dim light of the restaurant, the soft jazz still playing in the background, you notice how perfectly you fit together.  you lift your head, meeting her gaze. the look in her eyes - tender and with a hint of wonder - makes your heart swell. 
♡ "so," you murmur, "what's for dessert?"
♡ sevika answers with a grin that is wide and full of affection. "i thought we were already having it."
169 notes · View notes
lets-get-saucy · 6 months
Text
Collecting Strays - Kelley O’Hara X Reader (platonic)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: Miss Kelley is known for making friends with younger players and taking them under her wing. When she notices you, a rookie at Gotham, are having a bad day, she does what she can to make you feel better, adding you to her collection of younger players she looks out for.
Warnings: slight angst  
Tumblr media
It had been less than a month since you signed with Gotham. Just a few short weeks ago your mom had helped you move in to your new apartment and get set up in this new city. At first everything was fine. You seemed to fit in well with the team making a few friends with your fellow teammates.
One in particular was Kelley O’Hara. One your very first day with Gotham, Kelley took you under her wing, showing you around, giving you tips during training, and just being a supportive teammate.
Normally, you were excited for practice but today you just couldn’t muster up the energy to even try to seem excited to be there. First, your coffee had spilt in your car leaving you un-caffeinated. Then, you couldn’t stop shivering as you walked outside to the training pitch. The wind was blowing in your face making you even colder despite the training jacket you had on. The sky seemed to get greyer and greyer as training went on. You also weren’t playing as well as you could.
At the end of practice you took a deep breath, not wanting your teammates to see you cry. Showering as quickly as possible and throwing on clothes, you quickly made your way out of the changing room trying to avoid conversation.
Today was just a hard day, your teammates didn’t need to know that.
You were halfway out the building when a hand on your shoulder stopped you.
“Hey kid,” Kelley said turning you to face her, “what’s up? You’ve been off all day.”
You try to shrug off Kelley’s hand, not bothering to take your eyes off the floor.
“Nothing’s up, I’m just having an off day,” you lie.
“That’s not going to work with me kid,” Kelley crossed her arms in front of her.
Still not looking up you just shrug in response.
“Come on, your gonna come over to my place,” Kelley demanded pushing you towards the door.
“Kelley, really I’m fine I just want to go back to my apartment,” you try and pull away from her.
“Spending an hour at my apartment wont kill you,” Kelley said practically dragging you to her car.
That’s how you ended up on Kelley’s couch, hot chocolate in hand watching some random show.
“So, you want to talk about it yet?” Kelley ask, once you finish your drink setting down.
“No, not really,” you say, turning your attention back to the tv.
Kelley lets out an exaggerated sigh, causing you to roll your eyes.
“I told you early, I’m fine.” Looking over Kelly arches an eyebrow, causing you to sigh this time. “Okay, it’s my mom’s birthday and I miss home and I miss my dog and I really wish I could be there celebrating with everyone and I love it here but…”
Kelley cuts you off “woah, take a deep breath,” pulling you into a hug you burry your face in her neck wrapping your arms around the older woman.
You hadn’t realized you were crying but now it felt like you couldn’t stop.
“I miss home,” you whimper in Kelley’s embrace.
“Shh, I know,” she says rubbing your back. “I know.”
You don’t know how long you to stay like that. With you practically in Kelley’s lap letting it all out as she runs her fingers through your hair and rubs your back, holding you until you calm down.
Once she notices your sobs had stopped Kelley pulls back slightly, wiping your tears away.
“I know its hard,” she says her thumb stroking your cheek. “I wont lie to you and tell you it gets easier. In this profession, you’re always going to miss something. Birthdays, holidays, weddings, but you get so much more and make so many amazing memories and travel to new places, it’ll make it worth it. I’m sorry you miss home but just know this team is here for you. I’m here for you.”
Fresh tears make its way down your cheeks and you whip at them with your shirt sleeve. “Thank you Kelley. Not just for today but for being there for me even when I first joined the team.”
“Of course” Kelley smiled pulling you in for a hug. “Now how about we get some ice cream, ice creams guaranteed to make anyone happy.”
You laugh for probably the first time today, “okay.”
It had been a few hours since your breakdown to Kelley but you were still in her apartment. A knock at the door startled you both. Kelley rolled her eyes when a familiar voice called out. You could tell that a few people were outside, namely Rose and Sonnett, but you couldn’t tell who else.
At first you had thought Kelley had invited them over but when someone knocked Kelley rolled her eyes mumbling how some people just wouldn’t leave her alone as she went to open the door. You knew her annoyance was fake though when Jenna walked through the door Jenna launched herself at Kelley. Kelley picked her up spinning the younger girl around. Rose and Sonnett followed behind walking into Kelley's apartment. You smiled in greeting to your teammates.
Sonnett and Rose made their way into the living room, saying quick hellos as Kelley sat Jenna back down on her feet.
“You guys ate ice cream without us,” Sonnett frowned when she noticed the two empty bowls on the coffee table.
“Ice creams for invited guest only,” Kelley said following Jenna and Rose into the living room.
“I’m hurt Miss Kelley,” Sonnett placed a hand over her heart pretending to be offended.
“What are you guys watching,” Rose said sitting down between you and Sonnett.
“Just some trash reality tv show,” You said causing Kelley to scoff.
“First, they barge in then you insult the tv shows I watch.”
“We should watch a movie,” Jenna interrupts as she squeezes herself in between Sonnett and Rose.
“I agree,” Sonnett picks up the remote, looking for a movie to watch.
“You guys know this is my apartment, right?” Kelley is still standing, her hands on her hips looking at all of you.
“Please Miss Kelley? That show was boring,” you stick out your bottom lip, giving Kelley the best puppy-dog eyes you can.
“Sonnett, look what you’ve taught her,” Kelley gasp causing the room to laugh. “My sweet innocent baby calling me Miss Kelley.”
Kelley pinches your cheeks, swatting at her hands trying to get her to stop as the others laugh at you two. “I’m not a baby,” you pout.
“You’re one of the youngest on the team, of course you’re a baby,” Kelley says finally sitting down next to you pulling you into her side.
You cross your arms sinking back into the couch.
“Does that mean I’ve been upgraded Miss Kelley?” Jenna ask leaning forward to look at Kelley.
“Ugh not you too,” Kelley groans covering her face with her hands.
“Shh guys, Sonnett picked a movie,” Rose said kicking her feet up on the coffee table.
The movie started and everyone was quite watching as the opening credits came on the screen.
“Wait!” Jenna stood up from the couch, walking to the kitchen. “We need popcorn.”
After the movie, Sonnett, Rose, and Jenna started getting their things together.
“Thanks Miss Kelley for letting us crash your place,” Jenna said pressing a kiss to Kelley’s cheeks.
“Yeah yeah,” Kelley said taking empty bowls to the kitchen.
A chorus of byes followed as the other women made their way out of Kelley’s apartment, leaving just you and her. You grabbed the remaining bowls from the coffee table, taking them to the kitchen.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Kelley said taking them from your hands.
“It’s okay, it’s the least I can do since you let me stay here all day,” you shrugged.
“If I remember correctly, I had to drag you to my car earlier,” you roll your eyes at Kelley’s response.
You lean against the counter as Kelley loads her dishwasher, “about that, how am I getting to my apartment?”
“Why don’t you just stay her tonight and I’ll drive us to training in the morning?”
You try to come up with an excuse but you don’t have one and you don’t really want to be alone right now any ways.
Nodding, your wrap your arms around yourself, “okay, thanks.”
“Yeah its no problem,” Kelley says giving you a soft smile.
Now that a few hours had gone by you realized you weren’t sad anymore, or as sad. Kelley had succeeded in taking your mind off things. You didn’t realize how desperately you had needed the company. If you hadn’t come over to Kelley’s you would have probably gone back to your apartment after practice and spent all day crying in your bed.
“No Kelley, I mean thank you, for today,” you admit. “I really needed this.”
“I know kid,” Kelley says pulling you in for a hug.
222 notes · View notes
brianwashere · 1 year
Note
Hello, hope you're having a good day/night
I was wondering if I could request the spiderverse characters (Miguel, Hobbie, Noir) meeting and reacting to male spider reader who abnormal tall (like 7 foot kinda abnormal) and morally grey for instance will kill if it means that it could be beneficial rather than having the villain go to jail???
(Also who would end up falling for reader?)
FIRST ATSV REQ LETS GO
I made Miguel so submissive and breedable real lmfaooo. Also ignore how many HCs are in Noir’s, I’ve actually never written for him before lol. Oh and since it’s not extremely clear, Hobie’s is platonic
**I do not own any characters or part of the franchise from marvel or sony**
Summary: go to req
Tw: cussing, death, discussion of murder, stuff like that
~Miguel~
Color Miguel intimidated bcc oh my god
You’re taller than him. With his same morals. He’s fucking reeling
When you stand next to him he’ll cross his arms and puff out his chest
You’ll notice and be like “What’re you doing…?” And he’ll act all ignorant like “hm? What? No I’m not doing anything…”
Once he gets over your sheer largeness he’ll become more comfortable and relaxed around you
He falls HARD and QUICK
Even doing missions with you becomes difficult for him, the first time he got choked up or distracted he immediately stopped doing any missions with you
It was like whiplash for you because you were doing all these high risk missions with Miguel regularly then he suddenly drops you with no explanation
You corner him one day and demand to know why he’s acting so weird
You literally corner him…
Standing over him and all angry
He’s feeling 5 different conflicting emotions all at once
He tried to web away from you and without thinking about it you grab him by his neck and shove him back against the wall
He whimpered. WHIMPERED.
You immediately know what’s up and laugh at him some then tell him you feel the same
And that’s how Miguel O’Hara got a shredded gigantic boyfriend
~Noir~
When he first glanced at you he couldn’t help but stare a bit.
I mean. DAMN. What’re they feeding you?
He couldn’t help but say something
“They make them big in your universe?”
The joke surprised you bcc a Spider-Man dressed in all black and a sick hat and coat just teased you.
You laugh some and respond.
“And they make ‘em cute in yours?”
He chokes some.
You smirk at him and introduce yourself
He collects himself quickly and introduces himself too
When you find out he’s from an older timeline
You can’t help but flirt a bit more
“Oh so I should take you to dinner first?” You say with a grin.
You came on so heavy he stayed silent for a bit, just blinking at you
He avoids you for a bit, not because he doesn’t like you or is weirded out. He’s just trying to learn how to respond to your flirting in a way that isn’t staring owlishly
You two are on a mission together and long story short the villain didn’t need to go back to his universe to restore the timeline and was beyond the standard villain evil
while he was fleeing from you two he flung a child into the air and let them drop, expecting them to distract the both of you
“Noir!” You yelled
“On it.” He immediately responded and caught the kid, taking them to safety and comforting them
When you caught the villain you couldn’t hold yourself back.
Needless to say Noir came back to find you covered in blood and dangerously quiet.
It was a sight to see and not one he’ll forget.
“If you’re gunna give me the whole ‘killing makes you as bad as them’ lecture you can save it. I don’t regret it now and I wont regret it ever.” You said firmly, still not meeting his gaze
He just walked over to you and rested a hand on your shoulder. “Good. You shouldn’t.” Was all he said. The return to the spider society was silent
There was a silent agreement between the two of you not to discuss that mission with anyone else. That it was something too personal, somehow.
A few weeks later he asks you out
“Do you want to go out for egg creams sometime?” He asked
“What the hell is an egg cream.”
It’s like the olive theory but with egg creams
He loves your size and secretly loves it when you rest your arm on his head/shoulder.
~Hobie~
He laughs when he sees you
“You been drinking your milk, mate?” He chuckled
You rolled your eyes at him.
You talk with him when you next see hi ma few days later
He just sort of appears around you and you don’t question it once so ever
Someone asks why you two are always seen together in a rude tone and Hobie just throws an arm around your shoulder and says “see this lad right here, he’s my best friend. We actually sleep in the same bed—“
You scoff at him and push his arm off
You know he’s being sarcastic and just trying to get the person to fuck off but calling you his best friend made something in your heart flutter
Protectiveness? Loyalty? Endearment? Who the hell knew.
All you know is from then on you started seeking him out more
You sort of became a older brother figure to him
You started checking in on him semi regularly
But one time he stopped responding and you hadn’t seen him for over a week
Obviously, you got worried
You decided to go visit his universe to see if something happened
When you got there your eyes were immediately violently assaulted with flashing images and constantly changing scenery
It threw you off mid-swing and you crashed to the ground
You had to shut your eyes so you wouldn’t get nauseous
Then you felt a hand on your shoulder and squint up to see Hobie who looked confused and concerned
He helps you back to his place and basically tosses you down on his beat up couch then asks why you’re there
You just grumble something about him not responding and not seeing anyone for over a week
He flops down next to you and lays his legs on your lap
“Aw you big bloke, you were worried ‘bout me.” He says smirking
You shove his legs off and stand up
“Don’t get used to it” you say with a grin
681 notes · View notes
Note
Can we know more about the monkey demoness? Will the chapters be from shadowpeach perspective always or will we see readers or demoness point of view? Does the demoness have a name? How much does the reader know of jttw and general knowlege about the lands ahe is in. Does she speak the language natuarlly or is it a case of magic transelate? If it is magic transelate can she read written words? Will reader win them over slowly or will there be one major action that wins them over? Will the monkey demoness be part of endgame relationship or just a friend? Would demoness try and protect reader from the monkeys when they go full yandere, run away or defer to the monkey king? Am i coreect in assuming its shadowpeach/reader or is it plaltonic yandere? Will reader become besties with the demoness? How did they meet up? Is this before or after jjtw? Or does jttw not happen? Will this be a horror yandere or a romance yandere story? Will reader suffer issues from culture clash? What will your reader be like? Shy? Confident? Will she wipe out from having to walk for 3 days straight or is this something she is used to? How much will reader sacrifice to protect the ‘cubs’? Would reader declare themelves the cubs defacto mum?
If something was answered in previos post sorry mobile wont let me check your blog without loosing all my questions, feel free to answer asmany or as little as u want. Sorry for spelling mistakes, i read your fic repeatedly instead of going to sleep
I found your blog by that story and its a good read, i cant wait for next chapter, in the meantime i will be scrolling backwards theough your blog and read the rest od your stories after i sleep
😳 Wow… I did not expect this big of an ask. For starters I love that you are enthusiastic about the AU, truly I am. It’s just could everyone please stick to 1-3 questions per ask? If you have several questions feel free to send me multiple asks, for now I’ll try to answer as many from this ask as possible. I might answer a few in another post, thank you for your understanding. Now, onto the answers!
- The monkey demoness’s name is Chu Spirit, at first I made her as a simple oc out of the blue! Now I see her as a big sister type of character to Reader, she will not be romantically involved with either Shadowpeach, or The Female Reader. She is energetic and kind not one to back down from a fight. (Will answer how she met Reader in a later post)
- I have a habit of posting perspective a little crazy, so you will get a chance to get Reader’s and Spirit’s perspective! That is almost guaranteed, in fact you’ll probably get more perspectives as well of other characters that will eventually be in the AU.
- So Reader knows about JTTW because she read a bit of it but never finished it. She found the story entertaining but before she could finish it, she kind of… Was pulled to this new world and is trying to find a way home. As for general knowledge? Yeah she has no idea where she is or how to get anywhere, so she kind of doesn’t have any yet.
- Language! I didn’t even think about that! Okay, so I think she’ll magically understand it. Sometimes that magic understanding will flicker though when she’s especially weak so she’ll have to actually learn the language, eventually. As for reading, no she can’t read words until she actually learns the language.
- I think Reader will win over the Warlords slowly and in a few big events yeah. It’s not right away but it doesn’t take too long especially with how much she is taking care of them. They will definitely fall in love with her as they get more and more used to her. As for some big events? Oh I have a few ideas already! You’ll have to wait and see those though. (Cause long ask, not that it’s bad!)
- Spirit will one hundred percent try to protect Reader from Yandere warlords. She sees Reader as a little sister who helped her when she needed it most, she will do anything to keep her safe. If she had known that the monkey cubs that grew so attached to Reader were warlords? She would have totally thrown them off a cliff to keep them away from Reader. No she will not defer to Monkey King or Macaque because she really doesn’t care about them and never has. (Personal past reasons)
- Yes you are correct to assume it’s romantic Shadowpeach x Reader. Nothing platonic about how Macaque and Wukong feel about Reader… There might end up being smut later, but not sure yet.
- Spirit sees Reader as a little sister and likewise eventually Reader will see Spirit as a big sister. They met when Reader saved her from some bandits (more explained later!)
- JTTW! Okay, so this story begins before JTTW. There will be JTTW in this AU and on that topic sort of Reader will be able to get back to her world. Either willingly or not I’m still debating.
- Horror or romance? I’d honestly say it’s a mix of both, because there will be blood and gore. Reader does care about them but they absolutely terrify her when they return to their original forms. And also because Wukong is impatient and doesn’t explain himself very well before trying to take her home.
- Culture clash… I’ll try to add a few scenes of culture clash into the story. Mostly with how she acts around other people because she doesn’t fall into their ‘normal’ Because ya know she’s a 21st century woman. One with a mind that she speaks when she pleases.
- I would say that Reader is more on the shy side when it comes to talking to other people, but when she’s talking to friends she can get rather loud and confident. She just isn’t all that great with strangers. Unless if they are animals that she decides to take care of.
- After her three day walk, so at first I was going to have it where she slept during it. But after this ask I changed my mind. Spirit has no idea about the human system other than they need food. And monkey demons don’t need as much sleep as humans do so she doesn’t realize that Reader is running on fumes at the start of the story. That is until she passes out, dropping like a rock for almost a whole day.
- She will defend them with her life! She loves animals of all kinds. She doesn’t see herself as their mom because I think it’d be weird with the romance and all. But she does see herself as a friend to them. She cares for them and will try to protect them with everything she’s got. Will probably get herself hurt a few times which these bois, do NOT like after they fall in love with her. How dare someone hurt their new mate friend.
Thank you so much for your ask! I just started this Au and if you have more questions then send me an ask! 1-3 per ask would be preferred with no limit to how many asks you send. Feel free to send several! I encourage it! I hope I didn’t miss anything and have a lovely day! (PS. If you want even more in depth answers just ask one or two of these questions back at a time and I’ll have more room to answer them in depth possibly write scenes about them. But I like to answer everything in the ask)
Feel free to send me more asks and I will be happy to answer as I develop this AU more! If you have suggestions also send those too!
51 notes · View notes
artdcnaldson · 3 months
Note
and when tashi punishes you in front of art for letting you get out of hand in the Olympics!au what then. you expect him to stand up for you - all the things he said about caring about you and wanting you - but he just looks away. tashi says you can leave, you can leave and art will never talk to you again because if tashi demands it he'll listen. you wont even exist to him. it'll be like he never knew you.
or.
you can take a little consequences for your actions. she likes your spirit, after all. your fire and passion. you just need a little discipline.
Exactly <3 When she practically drags you back to their house after the pregnancy test comes back negative and every bit of your pathetic lies come tumbling down around you <3 When she makes you tell Art everything, and you’re not crying pretty for him anymore, they’re ugly, humiliated tears that you got caught, that you’re having to admit that you were lying to him about a baby, that you thought you could manipulate him.
You think the tears will bring Art back to your side— that he’ll defend you and tell Tashi to stop, that you’ve had enough. They’ve worked on him plenty times before, but never with Tashi there. His jaw is set tight— you know he’s angry, that he’s livid but he’s letting Tashi handle it, handle you.
So Tashi gives you two options— face some consequences for once in your spoiled, bratty life, or you can just leave. Art would never see you again, never look at you, you’ll be nothing to him. It’s not even a choice to you— not even something you’re willing to consider. So you accept whatever consequences because you’re expecting Art to be the one doling it out.
But it’s not Art’s lap you’re bent over, it’s hers. And it’s not enough to just spank you with her hand— she’s mean about it. She uses a fucking paddle, like you’re a schoolgirl who misbehaved in class. It’s hard, and you yelp and bury your face into the duvet to muffle your cries, but Tashi just pulls your head back up, tells you to keep looking at Art. It feels like punishment enough, that he’s watching, but he’s not defending you, won’t own up to anything he said.
And he’s getting off on it— on finally seeing you brought to heel. He couldn’t do it, but Tashi can. Tashi has you babbling out apologies, with your makeup streaked, your ass stinging red, probably black and blue by the next day. But you don’t pussy out, you take it all and you’d take more, because the alternative is losing your favorite plaything, the object of your obsession.
And you think that’s it. You’re going to have trouble sitting— doing much of anything— but it doesn’t seem as bad as it could have been. But you’re simply ignored at your spot on the bed as Tashi kisses her husband. You pout the longer it goes on— as their tongues press against each other and slip into their mouths, as she pins Art to the bed and strips off both of their clothes.
That’s your punishment. Thats what you’re there for. How many times had you gotten off on Art telling you that you fucked him better? That your pussy was tighter and sweeter? That he loved you? That he’d leave her? You didn’t think he’d been lying until you had to watch, but you couldn’t look away.
So you listen to Art telling Tashi all the same things he told you, watch him fuck into Tashi’s cunt the way he’d done to you time and time again. Watch him cum, panting and moaning against her lips.
“I love you,” he pants, and she smiles, scratching at his scalp.
Your bottom lip wobbles and you feel hot tears on your lashline, and you’re worried you’ll have to just tap out and leave and give him up because it hurts.
He pulls out, and you watch his cum slip from her pussy, dripping down and onto the sheets. Tashi meets your gaze, nods expectantly. “Clean up the mess my husband made.”
You exhale a weak whine, crawl between her thighs and start licking at her, hesitantly at first. Her hand is in your hair, almost soothing as your tongue explores her— licking up the mixture of her and Art’s cum. You lose yourself in it until you’re just laving at her from her drooling entrance to her clit, all just seeking the taste of more.
“Okay, that’s enough,” She tells you, pushing your mouth off. She looks down at you indiscernibly, and you just lay against her thighs and sniffle out apologies.
88 notes · View notes
dapper-lil-arts · 5 months
Text
So uh. My freelance work here is kind of dying.
I thought i'd keep my long-term followers on the know-how, so i might as well write about my current circumstances here, give y'all an update, so to speak.
So, for several reasons, most of them not even my fault, i've been getting less and less commissions, almost none, actually, and the ones i get are usualy on the cheaper side, which is bad concidering that this is my livelihood, commission money pays my bills, my groceries, and my taxes, and now i sure as hell am strugling to imagine this will sustain me for long. Twitter is a sinking ship ever since elon went over, Specificaly for people like me. I had just broken into 12k followers there, a huge milestone for me, and then i got shadowbanned, and for the last few months i've gotten *nothing*. It's completely dead, i'm stagnated there, all my arts are censored, and there's no way for me to undo it or fix it, and so i've gotten less and less comms out there, which sucks because its the only reason i was even on that stupid site. Here on tumblr, meanwhile, the CEO went on a massive transphobic streak, and a lot of lgbt folk (which composed a lot of my following,) decided to jump ship, and i sure as hell dont blame them, but sadly that's more potential costumers that bailed, and there's no proper website to go to. Anywhere i'd go, i'd be starting from scratch again, which would be utterly disheartening and frustrating, and there no website that is kind to artists, with no algorythim, that also have a messaging system (the latter being ESSENTIAL to the way i do comms) So i'm kind of stuck. I just. have nowhere to go, and nothing to do. And last but not least, my own fault, I've just been drawing and creating what *I* specificaly want, on an hedonistic streak this year. That's why theres so much pony bs on this blog now, and why i was straight up posting poetry a while back, and have written hundreds upon hundreds of fanfiction pages in the last few months; Which, unfortunately, is a terrible business decision if your intent is making money. Which I surely should have prioritized, but in the end, its not up to me, its up to the costumers... So now i'm a bit stuck. I've enjoyed the things ive drawn and written more than anything i've ever done, and yet, i've never been less successful on the actual business side. I'm still considering my venues, my possibilities, but there's not many. Trying to get a job would certainly pull me away from creation, and i'd hate it regardless of what it was, and on another venue, theres no guarantee that going back to furry titties would bring me money.
and that's whats heartbreaking about it too. no matter how much effort i put on my work, theres no guarantee of sucess, so why even spend time trying to craft a masterpiece? why not just follow trends and make a tiktok account or whatever the fuck makes money these days. I'd rather not, frankly. And i wont. Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading this update, that's how my life is goin atm. i'm going to continue doing as i am right now, but yknow... I'm not sure what i should do, if you want to give me suggestions, feel free.
64 notes · View notes
trapastrology · 5 months
Text
Songs that explain 12H synastry (house pov)
This song explains 12H synastry to a T from the perspective of the house person. Now, there are many different feelings & thoughts that the house person can have. This pov is when the house person is still toxic & scared of surrendering to real love. They tend to self sabotage heavily as well.
Die 4 U- The weeknd
"I'm findin' ways to articulate the feeling I'm goin' through I just can't say I don't love you 'Cause I love you, yeah It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold But tonight I'm gon' let you know Let me tell the truth"
~The represents the confusion the house person goes thru. They are usually so used to being so closed off to the point where they find it jarring when they start to find themselves feeling these deep & true feelings for the planet person. They also find it hard to express these feelings to the planet person. They are terrified of rejection & getting taken advantage of so even when they feel these feelings & have found a way to articulate them, they'd rather keep it to themselves (which is detrimental to the relationship). This song shows the pov of the house person realizing what they've been doing to sabotage this perfect relationship with the planet person & finally wanting to put all their feelings on display before it's too late & they lose them for good.
"I'm scared that I'll miss you, happens every time I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love I try to find a reason to pull us apart It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect And I know that you're worth it I can't walk away, oh!"
~This shows how the house person fears vulnerability to the point where they are scared of of even missig the planet person. They are the same ppl who only want true love but at the same time due to what they've been thru they are completely terrified of it. They try to test the planets persons love with ridiculous tests which only tiers the planet. House may try to always look for holes & doubts in the relationship, but they are the ones creating these holes. House starts looking for red flags that aren't even there. & in the end the house person tries to do everything they can to fix the parts of the relationship they can before it's too late
"Even though we're going through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind, 'cause baby I would die for you"
~When they are having difficulties in the relationship caused by the house person the planet person can indeed feel alone but chooses not to speak about it. Either way it goes, houses feelings are so strong & so pure for the planet that they would kill, steal & lie for them with no hesitation. Most times, they wont even disclose those feelings with the planet person. One day if the time comes the planet sees thru actions how much house truly cares & feels. No matter the circumstances good or bad, the houses feelings rarely change.
"'Cause I can't take this pain forever And you won't find no one that's better 'Cause I'm right for you, babe"
~At the end of the day, the house person thinks (& is most times correct) that no one will love the planet person the way that they do & no one is a better match for them. Most times they just have a bad way of showing it or they choose not to show it at all. They just have to remember that not everyone is their enemy.
~Stay tuned for more stuff like this in my upcoming ebook about the complete ins & outs of synastry! There will be an entire chapter dedicated to dissecting songs from different perspectives of this synastry. Love yall!!!!!!!!
106 notes · View notes
jelzorz · 7 months
Text
171.
There's a wedding in the castle that everyone goes to because it's Barius' niece. Callum doesn't really know much about her—he hadn't had the easiest time making friends when he was younger (step-prince thing and all), and she's a few years older than him so he he's never has much to do with her. He thinks he remembers her flirting with Soren when they were younger maybe?—but everyone else is going, so he goes because he doesn't get a choice.
"It'll be fun," Ez promises.
Weddings, in Callum's opinion, are supposed to be for close friends and family, which he, in this case, is very much not. "I don't think I've ever even spoken to Alys," he grumbles.
"Yeah, but she's Barius' family, and Barius is basically our family. Come on, Callum. You should come." Ez gives him that look he perfected years ago: big eyes, jutted-out lip, and Callum rolls his eyes and sighs, lips twitching just a little at how well his brother can wheedle.
So he goes. It's a good time. Opeli conducts the ceremony, as always, and Alys and her new husband say their vows and kiss before a crowd of friends and family and friends of family (Barius cries as the ceremony closes), and then it's all dancing and drinks outside in the warm spring air. There are lights strung over the gardens, and Soren has too much wine and Ez has too much cake, and Callum finds it isn't too bad, all things considered. Alys seems friendly enough. He hopes she and her new husband have a lovely time.
But long before the party winds down, Callum drifts away, as he's wont to do these days. It's too loud and there's too many people and he just doesn't really have it in him to dance. He's been told it's rude to leave before the bride and groom so he sticks it out, but he does, eventually, find a bench a little way away, close enough that he can still hear the laughter and pretend he's having a good time, but far enough from the crowd that they can't see the downturn in his lips.
Ez finds him when the tea comes out. He brings over two teacups, his smile genuine but apologetic and a little remorseful all at once. He sits down next to Callum and the air buzzes with a bunch of things he wants to say that he doesn't. Callum accepts the tea without a word.
"You okay?" Ez asks in the end.
Callum breathes out a chuckle and keeps his eyes on his tea. "It's just loud," he says. "I had fun."
"Did you actually?"
"Yeah," he says. "It was a good night."
Ez snorts ruefully. "You don't have to lie. I'm sorry I made you come out. I know you're still having a hard time."
"Mm." Callum only shrugs and stares into his tea. Steam curls over his face but he barely feels it. There are ripples forming over the reflection of the moon.
He sighs. "Do you think this might have been us if she'd stayed?"
Ez chuckles sadly and sets a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah," he murmurs. "I think so."
91 notes · View notes