#nothing else from the episode that was free of big spoilers? at all???

[mishtershpock]

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[romeulusroy]

Dependence Pt. 4 (Roy!Sibling x Roy Family)

((SUCCESSION SPOILERS))

Character/s: Connor, Kendall, Shiv, Roman, Logan

Word Count: 2,538

Warning: addiction, drugs, alcohol, death, grief

Inspired By: I Bet On Losing Dogs by Mitski

Tag: @locke-writes

A/N: This was one of the best and one of the most heartbreaking episodes I've ever seen. That being said, omfg. All I could think of was Baby Roy. My heart broke for Roman. It was beautiful and an honest portrayal of grief, but I was not ready at all. I wasn't planning on writing anymore parts, but I just couldn't help myself. This episode was too good to leave it be. I'm really happy with how it turned out! this has been my favorite series to write, Baby Roy is so fun to write and it makes me so happy to know you guys like it too!!! Thank you!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Dependence Pt. 1 / Dependence Pt. 2 / Dependence Pt. 3 / Dependence Pt. 5

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include Pt One.

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include Pt. Two

You can still taste the whiskey in the back of your throat. It’s a familiar burning. It’s something you shouldn’t welcome with open arms, but when have you ever turned away from a love that could kill you? When have you been shown any other kind of affection? Their hugs always came with a stab in the back, right between your vertebrae. They were always intentional with their strokes, never wanting to waste a moment, a movement. What you wouldn’t give for a drink right now. Salted rim. Ice. Something bright, something colorful, something to make this all go away. You were so close last time, tip toeing on the edge. Where he fell, you flew, dragged back by the skin of your teeth. You didn’t want to be saved, you wanted to be free. The memories are hazy, but your throat was scratchy, voice patchy, as if you’d been screaming. As if you’d been begging. No one explained, though you had a feeling they all heard. They looked at you differently now. You knew what they said behind your back, your fathers old posse, what they thought of you. Suicidal. Maybe. What did they care about? Now you started what could have been. The casket, the rows and rows of nameless faces, most never shedding a tear over your old man, over you. The violins, the church, the halo effect the light gives as if anyone in this room were remotely holy. You hadn’t had anything since the incident, nothing to drink, nothing to use, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t still feel it, want it. After the charcoal, the sick, after that, it seemed like you could never get rid of that boozy taste in your mouth. Faint, but there. Mocking you, your sobriety. What your father would have said to you after the incident plays on loop in your mind. That if you wanted to cry he would give you something to cry about, if you wanted to die he would give you something to die about.

Too late, you think, you beat me to it. 

Your mother sat beside Caroline and Kerry, making the ever rare appearance in the world to grieve her ex-spouse. She hugged you as she came in, doing the same with your brothers and sister, reminding you this wasn’t the kind of event that came with an open bar. You smiled, unsure of what else to do, unsure of what to say, struck as if you’d been slapped across the face. She wasn’t there. She didn’t see you, in that bed, in that condition. You hadn’t even attempted to call her in that haze, you’d gone to your dead father instead. You knew. You knew even as you lay dying that she would not offer the comforts you so desperately wanted. She would not let you go in peace. Someone must’ve filled her in, though by the look in her eye you’d never know it. She was as jaded and hostile as ever. She seemed satisfied with herself, her quip, moving on to your sister and her big news. Your eyes stung. Someone put their hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Connor or Kendall. You never found out who. Suddenly you were drained. Of life, of everything, wanting to lay down on the pew and sleep forever. You let your siblings talk. You let them wander off to their prospective parties, sticking by Connor like a little kid, becoming his shadow. Since that night he hasn’t let you out of his sight. He takes care of you. He makes sure you’re doing okay. The others call, checking in more than they ever have, all of them feeling guilty. You didn’t mean to. You didn’t mean to make such a mess. You were just so angry, so alone. You were tired of fighting this thing inside of you that could not be controlled, that threatened to burn you alive. 

Time passes strangely. There are gaps in between. You don’t remember sitting down or watching them carry him in, only that he rests in the aisle and you cannot stop yourself from holding your breath. You can’t take your eyes off the casket. He’s really in there, you think, he’s really gone. Part of you still thinks this is all one massive trick. That he’s going to pop up and laugh, making a fool out of all of you. You wait, but he does not stir. Despite their best efforts, Ewan takes his place at the podium. He talks of his brother and sister, Rose. Of Logan's life before you, before the money. You’d never heard any of this before. Your fathers life was a series of scattered bits of information and assumptions to fill in the gaps. You only had a handful of real facts about him, ones that weren’t superficial like his age and birthday. The realization seeps into your skin: you never even knew him. You watch the same thought in your siblings' expressions. The quiver of Roman’s bottom lip. The glazed over look in Kendall's eyes. Even Connor, your oldest brother, the one who knew him the longest, stared forward as if he were desperate to breathe and Ewans words were the only oxygen in the room. All of you hopeless without him, without this story, as if you were hearing about him for the first time. The man you wanted to be loved by so frantically was nothing but a stranger. He kept all of you at arms length, not wanting to get hurt again. Now here you were, hurting, missing out on a father, a real father, because of his fears. You dug your nails into your palms, wanting to scream. 

You watched him crumble before you. He’d been so confident, so manic, you should have known. You should have known all that pre-grieving was masochistic bullshit. His words catch in his throat, his hands shuffle his cards around, until finally he needs to step down, the tears glistening in his eyes. All of you reflectively stand, meeting him at the bottom of the stairs. He is sobbing now, trying to keep it all in. Is he in there? He asks. Can we get him out? Connor steps in front of you, taking his little brother by the arm, as if he doesn’t want you to see this, as if he can protect you from their pains, their sorrows. Roman holds his hands in front of his face, shielding himself from the fury of a ghost. Through your siblings, you grab his cards from his shaking hand. I can do it, you say, catching their eyes. Even Roman, his puppy dog eyes wide and scared and sad, are surprised. I got this. You sound more confident than you feel. None object, though you watch Ken and Shiv share an argument with just their eyes. You smile at Roman, assuring him it’s okay. You have to be there for them, too. You have to be there for them like they’ve been for you. Your tiny crowd dissipates, all of them sitting around him. You take your place at the podium. There is such a huge turnout you can’t see everyone's faces, though you have a feeling you know what they’re thinking. Frank leans over, whispers something to Gerri. You clear your throat, looking over what your brother has written. Fuck. Clutching the cards, you think quickly. The silence hangs in the air thick. I didn’t know my father, you start. Not well, at least. He wasn’t, uh, he wasn’t an easy man to get to know. Some chuckle. He spent most of his time at work, with all of you. Even as a little kid, I thought that’s where Dad lived, in the office. I had no idea uh, I had no idea they lived at home with their family. More laughter. You cannot look at anyone else but your siblings. They nod at you, encouraging you to go on. Someone got Roman water. You offer a sympathetic smile at him, knowing this will haunt him. Tears are welling up in your eyes as you speak, laughter catching in your throat. I, uh, I still can’t believe it, you know? You swallow a sob. I keep thinking that he’s going to come out of nowhere, that this was just some joke he’s playing on us. That we’ll hear his laugh out of nowhere and he’ll be back. It’s not though, it can’t be. It's too real now. Your hands begin to shake, the concerned faces of your brothers and sister blurred by tears. You catch your mother wiping her dry face with a tissue. Kendall inches forward, ready to come to your rescue. I didn’t know him well, but I miss him every single day. I miss the way he used to yell and that disappointed look he gave when we messed up. I miss his condescending tone and the way he danced around an apology. I miss him. We all do. He wasn’t uh, he wasn’t an easy man to love, but who is? 

Connor takes your hand in his, giving it three squeezes. Kendall went up, then Shiv. you can’t hear their words, you can only watch them try to keep themselves together. They share stories of your father, from a childhood before you. You liked hearing about it, as sad as it may be. You were grateful they had each other, that they didn’t grow up so alone. Your head rests on Rome’s shoulder, his sniffling quiet, cautious, as if your father could hear him. On the other side of the church, your mother sobs loudly. The rest of Logan's wives and girlfriends come to her rescue, comforting her, despite not a single tear being shed. You roll your eyes, wishing the day over as fast as possible. You keep close behind Connor and Willa, who are thanking the sea of nameless faces for coming. People you’ve never seen before, people you’ve seen in passing, in Christmas cards, others you have the terrible feeling that they came only to check that the old man was, in fact, truly dead. You take the car with them all the way to the graveyard where his mausoleum stands tall and daunting. Crisp, harsh lines draw you into where he hoped you would all be buried alongside him. If they hadn’t brought you back, if they hadn’t found you when they did, would you be in there now? Would you have taken the first available slot, destined to share eternity with a man who fucking hated you? A shudder goes through your body. Shiv mistakes it for grief, holding your arm. It is cold and sterile, the very place you would have expected him to be. The ground, the bugs, that’s too dirty. Too much. He never would have been cremated either. He didn’t want to rot, you think, as if this place could prevent that. Roman stands near the doorway, not wanting to go in. You wait beside him, not saying a word. Too much empathy, too much compassion, and you’ll drive him away. No, he just needs his time. You watch Connor place his hand on the places in the wall, as if he has already claimed it on his own. You drop your gaze, trying to stop the thoughts from coming. What if, one day, you’re the only one left? What then? How will you go on without them, all of them? Tears fall silently down your cheeks. You couldn’t do it without them. They were your mother and fathers, they raised you, they saved you. Without them, without them you would be nothing. You never would have made it this far, seen this many years. Despite their faults, despite everything, you owed your life to them. You always would. 

Your brother disappears before you can stop him, shutting himself into isolation, into the car. None of you move, none of you get up to get him, your eyes all transfixed on what’s being done before you. Settled into his final resting place. All that anger, all that rage, where does it go? Does it come back to you? Does it belong to you now? You haven’t been angry since that night, not like how it was, your rage replaced with gratitude. You weren’t happy to be back, to be here, but it was better than the alternative. If they’d had to bury you too, you’re not sure what they would have done. Before you thought your absence meant nothing. That they’d known how to function in a world without you before, they could do it again. The way they looked at you when you woke up, when you cried, you realized just how much you’d put them through, how they seemed to age decades under those fluorescent lights. You apologized profusely, but they wouldn’t hear it. They blamed themselves, all of them. You didn’t want to be here. You didn’t want to be tied back to this life, this meaningless existence, but you couldn’t let yourself hurt them anymore.

The reception is crowded, everyone sharing their condolences. Kendall gets you a water before disappearing to talk to Mencken, Roman following obediently. He makes sure you’re okay on your own, that it’ll only be a minute. You assure him you’ll be alright, really. How he would have hated this, you smile. All these people pretending to have known him, sympathizing with his children. As far as he was concerned you deserved nothing. You deserved less than nothing. You wade through the room. They’re off, doing their own things, trying each and every one of them to one day take over. You never wanted that, you never thought it was your rightful place. You know what you want and it doesn’t involve this. It doesn’t involve schmoozing, it doesn’t involve high stakes and high stress. What wouldn't save your family from this, but it’s too late. It always was. They were pitted against one another before you were even born. You sip your water, forever wishing it were something stronger. The impulse is still there. It always has been, always will be. It didn’t leave just because he did. It didn’t escape you just because he did. It sits in the middle of your chest and it is bitter for being ignored. You did it once, a whole year, you can do it again. You will do it again. If not for yourself, if never for yourself, then for them. For Connor, for Kendall, for Siobhan, for Roman. For the people who have always loved you, always will. Logan is dead. He will be. He didn’t care then and he won’t care now, but they will. It’s up to you to do better, be better, stay sober. It's not easy, it never has been, it never will be. But don’t they deserve that? Don’t each of them deserve that from you? You watch them, each of them, laugh and roll their eyes and try to find their way in this world without him. If they can do it, if they can find a reason to show up, to be there, so can you. Right?

[nobodysdaydreams]

A Special Treat for My Wolf359 Friends: Oddly Specific Christmas Songs that Remind Me of Wolf359 Characters

Happy advent dear readers! 'Tis the season for festive head canons, and as a lover of very obscure Christmas music, here are some tunes that remind me of Wolf359 characters. I included links to all the songs listed, so have fun listening! I think most of the songs I found fit, and I found two songs per character (plus some bonus tracks...), so let me know which ones you enjoy!

I included explanations for why I think the songs fit the characters, feel free to disagree.

Side note: Please don't put any spoilers on this post, as I've only listened through season three at this point. If you want to follow my reactions to Wolf359, you can do so under the tag "#Bods Wolf359 Reactions".

Doug Eiffel- Christmas Tree On Fire / Christmas in Jail / Who Spiked the Eggnog?

Why does Doug get three songs instead of two? Simple. Because he deserves them.

The first one is 100% a Doug song. I just need to close my eyes, tweak the lyrics slightly to make them about a fire he started because he didn't do a very simple task that Minkowski asked him to do, and it's Doug singing it in a southern accent.

As for the second one, there are a concerning amount of Christmas songs about alcoholism or spending the holidays in rehab and/or jail. This made it very hard to narrow it down, but this song is specifically about going to jail for drunk driving, so...um...it fits? In a very sad way, but I feel like Doug would sing this in a drunk moment of self-loathing, that Hera and Minkowski would talk him out of.

The third song fits Doug because to be honest the whole vibe of Straight No Chaser fits Doug, and this song reminds me of when Kepler demanded an explanation of what happened to his Whiskey. This is the song Doug would sing after assuring Kepler that he would stop at nothing to find the culprit.

Hera- The Most Wonderful Day of the Year / Somewhere in My Memory

The first song is from the Rankin/Bass Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer movie. It's about toys that were built incorrectly, so they are put on an island where misfit toys go and sing about how sad they are that they don't get to celebrate Christmas with everyone else. I don't think I need to explain why this song fits Hera.

The second song is from Home Alone, and I think it fits Hera, because of the how much that one episode focused on her memories, good and bad. Plus it's a very beautiful song, and I think Hera would appreciate that. This song has a long musical intro, so you might have to listen for a bit before you get to the lyrics.

Renee Minkowski- That Christmas Morning Feeling / Have Yourself a Merry Christmas

For the first one, no, I have not seen the movie, but this song came on my Christmas recommend, and you can't tell me that Minkowski would not go for a big festive Christmas musical number.

As for the second one, it's from the musical "Meet Me In St. Louis", which I'm sure Minkowski appreciates. Any musical Christmas song would fit Minkowski, but this one is a classic.

Alexander Hilbert- The Nutcracker: Russian Dance / A Mad Russian's Christmas-Insturmental

I chose the first song from the Nutcracker, since it's a Russian ballet. I feel like Hilbert hates holidays and would only even consider tolerating classical instrumental traditional Christmas music (even though Minkowski forces him to sing carols).

The second song is also instrumental, and I mean, well, just look at the title of it.

Isabelle Lovelace- Christmas Isn’t Cancelled (Just You) / We Wish You Weren't Living With Us

For the first song: tell me you couldn't see Lovelace singing something like this to Cutter or Hilbert. Very fitting too considering Cutter ordered Hilbert to kill everyone on Christmas. Lovelace would hear about that and chose this as her revenge song. It's another song where I can close my eyes and see her singing it with slightly altered lyrics.

The second song could easily be everyone singing about any of the villains, but it would especially fit the oddly specific situation of Lovelace sarcastically threatening Hilbert when Minkowski tries to make them all play nice and sing Christmas carols together.

Warren Kepler- Christmas Whiskey / Six Cups of Eggnog

I don't need to explain my first choice. Kepler sings this song alone in his office to a full glass of Whiskey, which he saves specifically for December.

As for the second, I can see Kepler singing this to lecture the others on the proper way to enjoy a drink, even though absolutely no one asked and no one cares.

Alana Maxwell- The Season's Upon Us / I'm Getting Nuttin' for Christmas

For the first choice, I don't know much about Maxwell, but I know she doesn't talk to her family, and this seemed to fit that.

For the second choice, the song fits because Maxwell is not getting anything for Christmas, because she's dead, and she did bad things. (I'm sorry Maxwell stans, but I struggled finding songs for her, and you can't say it isn't true, though this second choice does apply to multiple characters).

Daniel Jacobi- This Christmas (I'll Burn It To The Ground) / Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas)

The first one could fit a lot of villain characters, but I chose it for Jacobi because he loves explosives. That's pretty much it. I had trouble finding songs for the SI-5. But I can see Jacobi screaming this song violently at a Christmas party, right before someone brings up the subject of ducks and sends him cowering to the corner.

The second song is because Jacobi seems to have some issues with his air force father (I was tempted to use the song for Doug's daughter, but figured that would be too dark). A close second for Jacobi was "The Twelve Days of Christmas" because there are a lot of birds in that song, and I love mocking Jacobi's fear of ducks. However, decided to go with other options because A) the 12 days of Christmas is already a pretty well known song and it doesn't fit that well and B) ducks are not explicitly mentioned in the song. But if anyone knows of a Christmas tune about ducks, please drop it in the tags.

Marcus Cutter- You Ain't Getting Diddly Squat / I’m Gonna Kill Santa Clause

For the first one, the song fits mainly because of the singer's high pitched cheery voice and the way he gleefully tells a bunch of kids that Santa hates them, and they're not getting anything for Christmas. I can listen to this, close my eyes, and see Cutter singing this as he happily informs the crew that they're all about to die on Christmas.

For the second one, it's fitting because Cutter ordered the deaths of multiple employees on Christmas, and if he lived in a universe where Santa Clause did exist, he absolutely would try to kill him and take his power. The line "nothing against him, it's just business" and part of the song where he sings about the elves being his prisoners are very on point.

Miranda Pryce- I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday / I Want an Alien For Christmas

This first song choice won't make any sense to you UNLESS you've seen Black Mirror, because if you have, you'll know it makes a disturbing amount of sense. So...for those who haven't seen black mirror and are wondering how on earth this song fits her character, here's the clip to provide some context. Some horrifying, terrible terrible context.

The second song honestly fits Cutter better, but he already had two songs and doesn't deserve a third one. And I don't know as much about Miranda at this point, except she's apparently down with the whole aliens thing, so I figured it would fit here too.

Dear Listeners- Silent Night / A Spacemen Came Travelling

The first one is a Christmas song from the 1920s about a silent night. I don't feel like I need to explain this choice.

The second is a song is a gentle tune about a man from space who comes to visit baby Jesus and his mother and wish them goodwill. I also don't think I need to explain why the aliens fit this one.

Blessie (the plant monster/specimen 34)- Percy, the Puny Poinsettia / Christmas Tree Farm

Yes, any song about plants or Christmas trees in general is appropriate, but this first song is fitting not only because I'm still grieving the death of our beloved Blessie, but also because before I knew his name was Blessie, I named him "Percy the Plant" or "Percival B. Eternal".

For the second one, the singer sings about wanting to go back to a Christmas tree farm, so when I listen to it, I imagine Blessie up in space, dreaming of the day he finally reaches earth so he can be among the other plants, Christmas trees included.

Rachel Young- Elf's Lament / You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

I don't know as much about Rachel at this point, but a song about working in unfair conditions and regretting signing up for the job you chose seems like it might fit. Whether she'd be singing it about herself or those working under her, that's up to you.

The Grinch song could be sung about many characters on the list by so many characters on this list, but I can imagine Rachel thinking of Cutter every time she hears this song even though she does work for him, and I think the song describes her as well.

BONUS TRACK 1: This one is for Eiffel's daughter, Minkowski's husband, and everyone else left back on earth missing their (presumed dead) family: Blue Christmas

Sadly, I think this one speaks for itself...

BONUS TRACK 2: This is a little tune that Doug Eiffel and I would sing to Cutter, Pryce, Kepler, Jacobi, Maxwell, Hilbert, and Rachel: Put One Foot In Front of the Other

The song is from the movie "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". It's a song where a young Santa and his animal friends encourages the evil Winter Warlock to change his ways and become a better person. Perhaps this song too could inspire many of our morally bankrupt Wolf359 friends to either grab their redemption arc, or as the song says: "walk out the door" (straight out the airlock). And it's a children's song, which I think is necessary, since so many of them seem to have trouble grasping the basics of human decency. Hopefully this will make it easier for them to understand.

[visd3stele]

So,I just saw ep 5 and i’m also a fan of princess reader and Ser Criston.I loved your last fic,you are so talented and you can feel the love you put in to writing.Can you please,please write an happy ending for them?Like in the last episode he asked Rhaenyra lo flee with him,but with princess y/n?He asks her to escape to Essos,she says yes and there they get married and live together forever like they deserve 😤

//you can feel the love you put into writing// thank you so much! this is one of the best things a writer can hear ☺😍🥺

oh, boy, am i sucker for rebellious princesses.

a/n: alright, so this is an aleternative ending for this fic [X]. You can read it separately, though, it's up to you

tw: spoilers

Dread bounced from your veins against you bones. You haven't felt this nervous since the first time you snuck around the sleeping halls of the palace to find your sweet Attor, the dragon you favored since you watched him hatch from the big egg and took off flying in the depths of nigh.

But that was freeing. And you always came back as if nothing has happened. This, you couldn't brush it off, pretending to not exist.

One hand fled to your hectic heart as the other laid atop of your belly, rubbing up and down as you ran. It scared you, the motherly gesture. As if your body has already shifted for the instincts needed to the changes inside you. Too fast so. Your mind was left behind by miles.

You pushed gently on your belly. Still soft with only skin, fat and flesh to wobble under your palm. But your monthly bleeding missed the timing two times in a raw. So you have finally convinced yourself to come see the maestress. Conjuring up all your courage, you knocked on the healing quarters' door.

"Princess y/n. What brings you so unexpectedly in our company? Are you unwell?"

"Perhaps the restlessness before the wedding. Worry not, princess, I will prepare you a calming tea. You shall sleep like a babe."

A babe, you almost laughed. Fitting wording. "It's not my sleep that bothers me. It's... something else." Teeth grazed the chipped skin of your lips. They suffered the torment of your worries in the past few days since the realization of your condition dawned on you.

"What is it? Out with it, your grace. We can't help you unless we know what the matter is."

The words struggled to leave your mouth. They couldn't even take shape in your mind, much less find the voice to form them out loud. You haven't told a soul of your presumptions. Not even Criston, the father of the child you were more than sure now grew in your womb.

You couldn't have told anyone even if you wanted. Your sister, maybe, but her love for the man who was about to imprison you irked your ire. It would be a while until you could embrace your older sister again. Daemon or Viserys were obviously off limits. Unpredictable. What would they do? You knew there were special drinks - teas - to make a pregnancy disappear. Would they make you take one? Or would they rush the wedding and pretend it's your uncle's child? You didn't know which hurt you more.

As for Criston, the knight that stole your heart and possessed your body... ever since the last night you shared after finding about your father's political plans for your future, he kept his distance. Solemn bows of his head when you passed him in the halls, stiffened straight back as you waved at him, formal salutes when he draw the shorter hay and had to guard your room.

You understood the distance. If not for the baby, you would have encouraged it. It was better for both of you, perhaps. A way to pretend your marriage to be less painful than it was. Criston even wanted to leave, you heard the maids gossip. Enrole as a knight in the Watch Guard. But the king forbade it.

"My bleeding missed the due this past two months." You finally puked the words to the stunned maestress.

"Have you- have you had any... intercourses with prince Daemon?"

The inside of your bottom lip puffed to cover your teeth in thought. Should you lie? It'd make no difference if the healers thing the baby is your future husband's. But such a lie would lay heavier on your heart than the burden of shame filled looks and sharp words thrown at you for bearing a bastard. About that you were sure.

"No." You said, a feeling of pride blooming like a late flower in spring. "I haven't laid with Daemon. But I have - had - a lover."

After they confirmed you were, indeed, pregnant, you expected them to rat you out to your father. For days you waited anxiously for Viserys or Daemon or both to storm inside your chambers and demand an explanation. You wouldn't have told them the truth, knowing it'll cost Ser Cole his life. But you would have had such a surge of petty, vengeful joy to watch their plans chipped by your love.

Every day you woke up and watched your body in the mirror. Too early yet for visible changes, you caressed your stomach in awe, a broad smile gracing your features. The product of a real love you were lucky enough to live, even if it ended. Something that could never be taken from you, nor lost or forgotten in the fog of time.

You hoped the baby, boy or girl, it didn't matter, would look like Ser Cole. That they'd have his brown curls, thick brows, long lashes and eyes as dark and precious as the night sky that brought you so much happiness. Not only would it remind you of the love denied to you, but it'd also be clear whom the baby is. Not the forced husband's, but the chosen knight's.

Days passed by and you entered your third month. The maestress assured you, at the weekly meeting you had with them in the dead of night, the nausea should become a rare occurance. Which washed a wave of relief over you. As much as you already loved your child, the sickness was an annoying effect to bear.

The time for your sister and cousin's wedding came. You had to cut through the gowns made for you and sew them larger yourself as your waist thickened and you didn't want your maids to suspect a thing.

You were to meet with your betrothed at the doors of the festive hall. To enter together, posing the merry couple. You paced around your room, practicing your walk. In the past months you have gotten so used to lean back, holding your womb, as you kept mostly to your chambers. But now that you were forced to join the celebration, you couldn't risk disclosing your secret.

Before you could take the turn around the corner, however, an arm curled around your elbow, a hand covering your mouth as you were pulled inside a crammed room.

"Don't yell. It's me." Criston whispered in a hurry. His palm tasted like cinnamon and oranges and so did the air around him smell like.

You nodded and as he loosened his grip on you, you turned to face him. That bubble laugh Criston loved so much ringed through the confinement of the small chamber he brought you to. The large smile he aodored adorning your face for the first time in months.

Criston traced his fingers over your lips as you immediately circled his neck with your arms. "I missed you so much," was the only thing that made sense in your mind. All the rest of your thoughts were bits and pieces you couldn't put together in a coherent speech.

Your lover smiled, rolling his shoulder backwards and puffing his chest out if your sight hadn't begin to lie to you. "I missed you too, my y/n." He said, lowering his head to catch your lips in his.

The kiss felt like magic of old was born anew in your blood. A fire so true, so powerful it could ignite the world in a whim. You lost yourself in his touch, feeling him through every way you could.

Criston almost forgot why he was there in the first place. Your mouth tasted like honey, your hands in his hair like a breeze of fresh air on a bruised, wounded body.

Then, as if you both thought of the same thing, you abruptly pulled apart.

"I have something to tell you," your voices mixed in the same sentence, one desperate, one pleading.

"You first," you nudged him. As much as you wanted to make him aware of your child, the fluttering of your nervous heart tighten your throat, locking the words in.

Besides, it appeared he needed to say what he had to as soon as possible.

"Run with me." Criston blurted out. "Let's go to Esos, take life from scratches, build a home together." And before you had a chance to comprehend his words, he detangled your hands from him and placed a gift in your palms.

Cinnamon and oranges. Everlasting divine (as poets sing love is) and loyalty. A teary smile played on your lips, trying to conceal sobs of gratefulness. "You remembered."

Once, in another lifetime, it seemed like, you had told Ser Cole jewels or gowns did not move you. But sincere and thoughtful gifts that carry meaning did. You used to read him from herbology books the little legends scribbled on the edges of the pages. Another poetic soul has written what knowledge cannot suffice: the meaning and symbols behind each herb, plant and tree described.

"How can I forget when it's you that have spoken it?"

You bit your lip. The decision was clear as day in your mind. A plan even forming to offer Criston in case his would be ruined somehow. But you felt a pang of guilt clawing in your heart. Your sister was getting married to someone she didn't love. She would cheat with Daemon and become queen all on her own. How selfish could you be to leave Rhaenyra?

"Criston, I'm not sure I can. My sister..."

"Knows."

"What?"

"She, uh, she suspected we spent the night together since the brothel. I guess she trully can read you. She said it was obvious you liked me. And gave us her blessing. We can't be together here, but in Esos..."

"Yes!" You all but shouted. "Yes, yes, yes! Take me, Criston Cole. Take me far away and wed me to you. Give me your love. You have mine."

The knight huffed balls of incredulous laugh after laugh. When he finally convinced he heard you right, Criston sqeezed your cheeks in his hands and devoured your moutg. You returned the kiss with the same passionate eagerness.

"I thought we can take Attor with us. Flying will be easier. And faster. Then hide him in the mountains near a small village. A city, or even a town would be too risky."

You nodded at everything he said, only half listening. All you cared about was build a home with him. The how or where mattered too little.

"Before we go," you stopped him when he twisted the door's handle, "there's something you need to know." One deep breath and: "I'm pregnant. Yours." You added quickly, pushing the words into each other as you spoke hurriedly.

A variety of emitions passed over his face in such a short time, you thought you imagined it: shock, pain, anger, fear, disbelief. Only to settle on the purest felicity you have ever seen.

Criston picked you up and twirled you around (as much as the room allowed), dropping to his knees in front of you and taking your stomach in his hands. With a look of reverence in his eyes, Ser Cole touched his forehead to it. "Hello, little one. I'm your father, if you can imagine something like this. So wonderful," he said, kissing the barely showing bump.

Your hands tucked at his hair, sniffing a watery eyed laugh. In no time, you were on Attor's back, flying towards Esos, towards a future you never dare hope to have, hands locked with your knight, the love of your life, laced together on top of your growing baby.

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

Ok so for the bizzaros how would they're characters be compared to their counterparts? Would they have the memories of the other ninjas? Are they going to be actual persons like the pirates? Do they have the same character as the others? Same crush *wink *wink? Would Bizzaro Cole have any cualms about flirting with Zane or messing with Jesse? Would bizzaro Kai still dislike Olivia? Are they just straight up evil versions of them or just deranged? Who would be the leader (since in the episode Kai seemed to be the one trying to figure out where theire counterparts were while the others just messed around?)

*chugs drink* Well, if ya really wanna know before we get to the particular chapters, here ya go (juuust mind some spoilers~):

Garmadon essentially manifests "all the male ninja except Lloyd in his own image" (perhaps not the exact wording I'll use, but that's ultimately what happens), so the Bizarros are basically just Garmadon's interpretations of the Ninja, just dashed with evil and many, many assumptions

B!Zane is overly logical and stoic, but also is not a Nindroid (because Garmadon himself doesn't know that yet lol). Unlike Zane though, B!Zane has zero problems in voicing his definitely-most-certainly-correct opinions on things, and essentially has Nya's role of situational breakdowns.

B!Jay is overly sarcastic and very loudly rambunctious, and Jay's overt displays of affections for Nya have been translated as him being a giant flirt (lol watch out Sunni). He's also the team's primary attacker instead of Kai, being far quicker to throw down in a fray than Jay actually is...and he's far more dangerous for it.

B!Cole is overly-silent, somewhat judgmental, and a sheer wall of muscle, operating as next to nothing but the team's brute force, taking Zane's role of primary defense. Due to not directly interacting with Garmadon much, he's something of a blank slate personality-wise... but he does, mysteriously, have a weakness for Jesse. Wonder why THAT could be....

B!Kai is overly emotional, slightly irrational, yet the "pillar" of the team, based entirely on both "Volcano Incidents" and Garmadon observations of how Kai handled the Great Devourer incident. He's also way friendly around Olivia (and I haven't decided if Olivia is actually let in on this specific plan of Garmadon's—I dunno if it's funnier if she does or doesn't know but either way she is thrown lmao). He has Cole's role of being the one to keep them all on track and focused, buuuuut he's not the leader.

...The leader is actually B!Jesse, who choses to go by Bess instead. He's basically Jesse, but if he was a charismatic asshole and with actual full control of his powers. He has Jay's role of being the evasive specialist, while giving the others all their orders from the backlines (and only fights when he has to/really wants to). Is also convinced he's dating B!Cole, which totally isn't going to cause any issues.

They know about as much of the Ninja they're based on as Garmadon does. So basically anything observed from the pilots, anything Garmadon assumed from prior elemental Alliance context, anything Wu/Olivia/Bridget/Mystake ever mentioned to Garmadon prior to making them, Kai's TP Arc, and whatever Garmadon was present for during the fight against the Devourer is fair game. Bess probably wouldn't even realize Jesse has a sister :V

The only one who technically maintains their crush is Bess (as Garmadon's never witnessed Cole interacting with Zane, and Jay's infatuation with Nya specifically manifested as something else entirely in B!Jay. Not that Nya is free from B!Jay's flirting either rip). And I'd say the only straight up evil one is Bess; the rest of them are just... somewhat unhinged nkgfhgfdjhgfds

And no, as fun as they are and tempting as it is, they're not gonna stick around as actual characters. Trying to juggle clones in this already big, complex, and somewhat secretive ninja mess is just too much (buuuuut I have been considering bringing them back for the DotD as Jesse's foe to fight ahahahah <3)

[s0lar-ch3ri]

hey new draft making

i keep putting this off, but it today arrives! a ramble about ryan selucreh to fill tghe tag for once

(spoilers for mythborne ahead BUT ITS BEEN OUT FOR A WHILE FOR FREE NO PATREON REQUIRED PLEASDE CHECK IT OUT I NEED MORE MYTHBORNE FRIENDS IN MY JRWI MUTUAL CIRCLE)

so who even is ryan selucreh? well, hes a football jock and a big oaf, the stereotypical strong dumb athlete kid. however, theres more to ryan that we're diving into, years after the oneshot ended!

one thing to note on ryan is how his powers were gotten in a mix of ways aster and connor did. aster was born with them (assumed cause goddess mother), connor got them from a book (recieved from searching, wasnt born with it), ryan got his powers from squats. silly, sure, but like i said, its like the inbetween of the two. he has the power himself and doesnt need a book for them or anything, but he wasnt born with them either. i also wanna note how asters powers are like life (plants and the sun, both can symbolize life) and connors powers are like death (decay and disintegrating, both are related back to death), but ryans powers cant be "like" anything. its not something super showy, hes just super strong (strong enough to rip a mountainin half im pretty sure was confirmed).

lwts get into those comments ryan made, and how its reflected across the 3 episodes. yeah, the comments on faking his personality around people and how he doesnt know who he is anymore.

first showing of this is with the j crew. charlie gave a good idea (he was nicknamed jyan), but condi says he told them that. granted, it was probably to be funny, but theres other options to that. ryan missaid his name out of nervousness, the j crew misheard him, he wrote his name really wrong, so many different options that also are pretty comedic. yet, ryan told them he was jyan to join their team.

on the floatball jersey he wears, they didnt even have a 10 for him, simply a jersey with a 1 and a "poorly painted 0". did someone else use the 10? why didnt they have one? another way ryan changed for people symbolically, wearing one number but being another.

ryan joins in with the omnious curse speech despite it not being planned. an attempt to keep fitting in with his group there.

hell, ryan even was an ass to connor before when he was with the j crew, yet wasnt when he was with connor and aster alone.

he even goes out of his way to try and save asters dad, an act of carrying for her and her father. hes such a friendly and caring dude that hes trying to fit in with them all to keep up their friendships.

thats what makes the whole "i dont have a real personality" line mean so much. because he really doesnt. all that can be seen as his personality is simply to appeal to another person.

HELL IM FUCKING CONNECTING IN THE FACT THAR RYAN WAS A HISTORY MAJOR TO THIS! WHO EXPECTS THE JOCK TO LIKE HISTORY? NOT ME, I THOUGHT THAT WAS CONNOR, AND THATS WHY ITS SO INTERESTING, CAUSS NOTHING LEADS YOU TO BELIEVE RYANS INTERESTED IN THAT SHIT!!! ryan barely talks about his past or anything, minus the memory (but that was only to save professor aeliana), BUT HE DIDNT FUCKING BRING IT UP. kinda ironic, the character whos past is pretty unknown is in classes learning about our past.

oh yeah did i ever mention his parents are dead? cause they are (confirmed by condi a while back)

maybe thats why he tries to be so appealing to everyone, to make up for that missing link. i mean, its not like that event wouldnt have some impact on you (also no jrwi pc has gone to therapy from what i know so safe to assume he has no coping skills PLUS ITS A CONDI PC YPU THINK HES MENTALLY STABLE??).

another thing i learned: ryans last name is a backwards hercules. fun call back to the name, yeah, but the actual story may have some weight here...

the screenshot doesnt give the full story, of course, so i will. the picture leaves out how the reason he went through hardships was because he was driven to madness. according to research, hera was mad at hercules being born (for he was the product of zeus and a mortal woman), so she made him go crazy and slaughter his family. to make up for it, he was given 12 impossible tasks to do.

am i saying the full story applys? hell fucking no! i dont think ryan killed his parents or anything, but i think the jist can apply. a man trying to be forgiven by people for wrongdoings that wouldnt have happened if said people didnt make those wrongdoings happen. ryan trying to get the validation of his friends and acquaintances by pretending to be someone hes not, which wouldnt be needed if he could see friends accept people as themselves. given impossible missions (be someone else) to appease those who he looks to (whether its to the side or up to).

another thing to note is theres no episode cover with only ryan on it. cover 1 has all 3, cover 2 has background faceless frat members and connor, and cover 3 has only aster.

it could be from how there was only 3 episodes of mythborne, yet this could be solved by having all 3 in a cover at once. while it would have been a lot, they had all 3 in the first and a total of 4 characyers in thr second cover. this of course was a purposeful choice, and it shows in a way who the focus is meant to be on in that ep (all of them, connor, aster).

so why coupdnt ryan have been focused on in episode 1? yeah he was directly related to the chaos (j crew being first vicitms and shit), yet that clearly had a more general showing. its because ryan isnt a character who can be focused on. he crutches to his friends like a team relys to eachother, thats how he has purpose, thats how hes even a person.

i woulsnt even doubt the stupid bit being an act! to play in a sport, you actually do need good grades (in my school experience, above a C+ in all classes), and ryans been on this team since he started college (infered from dialoge with j crew member), probably since kindergarten even (has known j cre since kindergarten). he learnt it from them, and found it to be a possibly appealing trait of himself to others, everyone likes the lovable idiot! sure, what he does to play an act can be extreme, but if this is really thr coping mechanism i think it is, its not too much for him (also wanna note how of all characters ryan is the biggest stereotype caharacyer).

the 3rd episode btw seemed a lot from the cover and namr and all like the whole world was a fake (for me atleast), and isnt it fitting that ryan was the first to fall off the stage? the man, who had an identity crisis outloud for once after it seemed like one friendgroupd was about to learn his secrets, the first to exit stage down (stage direction jokes). hes been playong a play himself for what feels like his whole life by now, he doesnt need a script.

i came in here to talk about ryan, put him under a microscope, see who he is. really, ryans a shell of a person, a muscle soulless being pretending to be a person someone can love and care about. maybe he too thinks about how connor had changed inside to save him. whatever it is, i think ive not learnt from this who ryan selucreh is, and maybe if he gets aomething like this, he can learn himself who ryan selucreh is.

[hiddencarpet]

(my main blog is still shadowbanned but i have some Thoughts.tm and i really want to share them with the world, so i'm sending them here. ok? This rant is going to be spoiler Free)

It's sad how Virgin Soul anime ruined any possibility of future Shingeki no Bahamut anime with the usage of the former anime Genesis cast.

Genesis had it's premise, sometimes bit goofy, sometimes serious. Original anime story with High Fantasy fun. And overall it shown respect to the characters. Azazel was a pretty scary villain, Cerberus came to have a little fun. Lucifer was there for a second but looked stunning while doing so. Genesis Mcs were cool, they were bit goofy sometimes but the story treated them with love and i loved them in turn aswell. Jeanne d'Arc was also my most fave Jeanne d'Arc anime portrayal ever. Other villains and background characters? Everyone is my big fave.

However the spin-off series Virgin Soul? Ridiculed literally everyone who ever shown up before. Left almost no stones unturned

Azazel? He's a pure punching bag now.

Cerberus? Is a brothel sex worker now for some reason!?

Lucifer? While in Genesis they shown him as cautious but reluctant to act (probably bc animating him would cost way too much Lol), now he's showing up more but he simply lazes around reading books when His People are in Need. With the most horrendous example showing in this gif:

Which i could comment a lot on, but i'm just going to say: Original Lucifer would Never. Original ShinBaha Lucifer would literally drop anything to help his people fight, even though he's tired and wants only to rest now. And as i'm reading his whole story in the game Right Now it just, Breaks me.

Jeanne d'Arc? I-i don't want to talk about it right now.😶

Some of beloved characters from the former show were also pointlessly killed off without reason in Virgin Soul and there is nothing giving them back.

But that's mostly former villain/background characters.

In Genesis The Main character is a ginger afro guy, Favaro Leone. Something so rare yet so beautiful when it comes to MCs, and the show treated him with respect. Literally one of the greatest characters for me. The show in the first episode made a point that women find him handsome (Which is very important for my further rant). He was my Puss in Boots cool guy. (i love Puss in Boots ok)

So what happened in Virgin Soul? He's a supporting role, but Now whoever wrote the new show mocked him for his looks a lot. First the show made his afro less curly which felt weird, but that's not it yet.

They had a girl in the show whose whole thing was finding men attractive, and she only found him attractive once his hair was all damp and straightened with water. 🙃

Guess what they also did to him, guess what.

They shaved him on multiple occassions as a joke. Joke on his hairstyle. Cause you know, he has afro.🙃🙃🙃

And it's been years but i'm still so mad, and my pain only grows as i'm reading Lucifer's event stories from the original game. What in the world.

Anyways this is my rant: My fave characters in the world will likely never show up again in any anime continuation because of how Virgin Soul ruined them, their arcs, their personalities and everything else. (i'm not mentioning the fact that the game is finished and there likely won't be anything anymore anyways, but if not for Virgin Soul and it's writers i'm sure there could've been something more, or at least we'd have a less dead fandom now (for many reasons. the show had Problems and fandom was at war))

[epicfranb]

Rewatching Kino's Journey and I'm like Kino is so non-binary coded. But then episode 4 comes around and it's such major honest to god non-binary coding, I'm not even sure if it's unintentional anymore. So here's my little essay about it, ig.

Fair warning for potential spoilers under the cut! Before reading, I highly suggest watching this anime (it's really good) or just the episode in question. You don't really need any context for this, other than the basic premise of the show: Kino travels with a sentient motorcycle called Hermes. As for where to watch it, I always watch on aniwave.to. Again, this is episode 4, so go watch it!!

Since this is about the non-binary coding, I'm gonna keep the summaries short and to the point. The backstory starts with Kino saying she doesn't remember her past name anymore, but expresses the only thing she remembers about it being the bullying. This moment in itself doesn't have an obvious meaning, it is purely symbolic. The episode starts with her in a field of the flowers she was named after, long after she forgot her name; she is there later as a child, starting a new life with a new name; and it ends with her as an adult, which is the moment that leads to the scene in the beginning, nicely looping back in this circle-like narrative. This has more to do with the general ideas of freedom that the show has, rather than specifically to the topic of this essay. I just thought it was interesting how it explicitly shown that she did not like her birth name.

To avoid confusion from this point on, I'm going to refer to Kino the main character as "this girl". This is because she meets a traveler named Kino. The two spend a lot of time together, and the girl explains to the traveler the tradition of this country. This is that when children turn 12, they get an operation to "become an adult". Children are free to do whatever they like, while adults must work and nothing else, and, since this is such a big burden, they get an operation to always be happy despite it.

The girl asks if Kino has a job, and Kino says that traveling is his job. The girl then asks, "Do you hate your job?" and Kino says "No, I like it." and the girl says "Then it's not a job."

Kino realizes this is kind of fucked up and is visibly conflicted on whether he should leave the place as is, or help this girl he's made friends with somehow. He talks to this girl about the tradition, and this exchange happens:

In a world with such a clear distinction between a child and adult, it is unthinkable to the girl that someone could just be neither. This man is grown up, but he does what he likes. And he doesn't even have an answer for "what" he is. He's just "a man named Kino, that's all. And I'm on a journey."

"Doing what you like to do?" The girl asks.

"That's right, I like traveling." Kino says.

He asks the girl what she likes to do. She says she loves singing! He suggests she then should become a singer. She says she can't, because she has to grow up and take over her family's business. But it's fine, because it's about to be her operation and day and she "will be happy, even if she has to work at the inn".

The next day, the girl is conflicted. She asks her parents if it is necessary to have the operation. "Is there no other way that I can become an adult by just being myself?" Her parents are terrified and very mad at her, and the whole street gathers up to tell her off, calling her a "failure", "defective", "a waste of a girl", which are also common attitudes towards queer people in our world. They realize it was the traveler that planted the ideas in her head. The traveler agrees that each country has its own customs, and the people allow him to leave peacefully... Except the girl will be killed, for "defying her elders". Her father charges at her with a knife, but Kino shields her and dies. at this point, Hermes, the motorcycle, starts speaking to her.

This exhange continues the theme of "the secret third thing" and the freedom of choice outside of defined norms. Within the norms, it becomes clear in this scene that you either become "an adult" or you die; but, just like the traveler Kino was "a secret third thing", the girl can also run away and continue being herself. That is the third choice she gets here. And she takes it.

She rides away, Hermes giving her instructions on how to ride properly, she breaks the country gates and escapes to the grand outside. She stops and falls over on a field of flowers, the ones she was named after. She looks back and whispers "Kino..." but Hermes assumes it was her introducing herself to him. Surprised he referes to her as Kino, she throws away the last part of her past she had on her and accepts her new name.

Now that we're done with the summary, let's dissect this.

First off, Kino in her childhood looks very feminine. She has long hair, wears a pink dress and a pink headband with a cute bow. And, s we know her from the future, she looks very androgynous, her hair is short, her voice is much lower, she wears masculine clothing and an oversized coat that she got from the traveler.

She changes her looks, she changes her name, from one that she did not like to one that reflected her better, which is something that many trans and non-binary people go through. Here, I want to mention that even the traveler she met also looks sort of androgynous, which is also coding in itself, imo.

In the country where she used to live, there were two ways to live: being a child and being an adult. One did not have any sort of choice in the matter, it was decided for you. This is, of course, similar to the way that we get assigned a gender at birth and are expected to pefectly perform that gender, with no option to switch or be something else.

But young Kino meets a person who defies everything she believed in her life. He's free to go and do whatever he likes, he doesn't fit in the binary of this country, and he grew up free to be himself. This is wild to Kino at first, but she keeps thinking about it and realizing she does want to keep doing things she likes. She doesn't want to get brainwashed into doing things she hates with an unchanging smile on her face. She wants to be herself, to be free. She doesn't get that choice, of course, not while she's still in the country. She admits that becoming an adult like them would be as bad as dying; because she would lose all her personality and individuality. That's when Hermes opens her eyes to this: she DOES have a choice. Actually, this is her only chance to take it. She runs away, and she's finally free, and she throws away her past and continues life under a new name.

Even if all this is unintentional, this episode's themes still speak to the ideas and beliefs of trans and non-binary people. It is an episode about freedom of choice, freedom to be yourself despite what your culture may impose on you. This is an episode about leaving your past behind for a better future. So, in a way, this episode IS about being non-binary.

Thank you for reading!! I hope there aren't any major mistakes in here. If there are, please let me know so I can fix it (kindly, please). Like, obviously I said words like "feminine/masculine/androgynous" which are labels which don't always fit everything they get assigned to. I hope that it's clear that I used them intentionally for the purposes of getting a point across. Hope you enjoyed, and I've convinced you to watch (or rewatch) this awesome anime!! Bye-bye ^_^

[snellyfish]

(duck) THOUGHTS!! THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 10-11!! NOW!! I AM SHAKING YOU VIOLENTLY PLEASE TELL ME

OHOGHGOH MY GOSH OK OK OK you know how funny it was for like 2 days straight after we FINALLY caught up i just kept saying "i have to go write out my thoughts on drdt and feed my anons (mostly with you in mind)" every few hours with nothing but "i thought you already did that??" in response, cue me being like "no but like for real this time"

I also give my best wishes to the creator of DRDT, you've given us such a fun story with fun characters and I hope you the best on recovering, resting, and focusing on yourself. If we never get another episode that is a-ok, I'll be very sad but only because I truly appreciate the art and writing for a wonderful story that you've given to us all for FREE. Thank you for that<3 For clarity and reference, this whole ramble is written with the intention/presumption that we will get more chapters, though I'm not getting my hopes up

!!!!! DRDT EPISODE 10 AND 11 SPOILERS BELOW !!!!!

Also just an insane wall of text in general, jfc, you have been warned

Ok so first of all, I'll say what everyone's really here for:

Sorry, I personally fucking LOVED the twist, no significant complaints with it; it's a character trope I ADORE and more than I ever could've asked for to come from such a blorbo as David

Sorry, yes, I am also unfortunately down bad for him, HOWEVER-

Extremely happy that David wasn't the killer because we get to see more of this little freak in action in the next chapter, I can't even tell you how excited I am for his character omgomgomgomg I love horrible fucked up manipulative freaks so much. I also don't blame anyone for not enjoying his character anymore (especially if you liked the trope of his preconceived notion of a character) but like, me personally I can appreciate any character no matter the morals (the less the better imo) as long as they're written in an interesting and compelling way.

The way David is so horrendously straight-forward about everyone else just being a funny little pawn to him with absolutely no remorse (genuinely hope he never gains any empathy or I'll be a little upset ngl (well…depends on how it's done I GUESS!!)) makes his seemingly multi-layered character into….. something one-dimensional (/pos /GEN!!! one-dimensional is NOT a bad thing if it's a cool dimension that causes fun character conflicts) but the WAY they introduce this static ruthlessness to him is just;;;; CHEFS KISS. He's still a layered character, sure, two-faced freak running the long con, but his true self is just so reprehensibly remorseless it's hard to see ANYTHING under it

We were also both dying of laughter in the first episode how David had a really long horribly winded speech about fucking,,,,,,God knows what,,,, And no one acknowledged it and me n my bestie were just fucking whale eyeing each other like "SO IS NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT? WE'RE JUST GONNA STEAMROLL RIGHT OVER HIS MINI PSYCHOTIC BREAK? OK" Not to be salty but GUYS.. Anyone who genuinely believed David was a good person and were shocked with the twist I…I'm sorry …… I'm sorry that we did not watch the same character introduction …. I've been on team two-faced David from the start that's my manipulate mansplain manwhore right there, babe! If you don't love him at his X you don't deserve him at his Y

Erm erm erm also thought it was hilarious when David was droning on after his big real reveal because, even though I was having a great time with it, I was also just repeatedly muttering "the fish…..?" looking around like the john travolta gif "the fish? the fish? guys, the fish? can we talk about the fish? im dying to talk about the fish" AHGHGAGAHA AND JUST GETTING SO FRUSTRATED WHEN EVERYONE FINALLY BROUGHT UP THE FISH AND WERE LIKE "OH EM GEE THE LIAR IS LYING ABOUT KILLING AREI??? DAS SO CRWAZY" Old school Danganronpa feeling of screaming at the characters denseness, so nostalgic, I DID ENJOY IT, IT WAS FUNNY, I HAD A GOOD TIME HAHA I loooove characters who lie for no good reason only to benefit themselves and have a good time while others suffer (Kokichi doesn't count + I don't like him (also stop comparing David to Kokichi you guys are insane and don't understand character nuance SOWWY))

My apologies I'm still like keeling off [MULTIPLE SUBSTANCES OF VARYING LEGALITY] so DON'T tell me if this is incomprehensible or not because I'm speaking straight from the heart and the heart says I won't him. This reminds me that for the entire time he was having his MAIN psychotic break (especially in the animation) my best friend wouldn't stop fucking muttering in distress "I WANT HIM I WANT HIM I WANT HIM" I had to tell him to shut the fuck up even though I was also internally very much not normal. We should both be shot.

Still think David and Hu should kiss. I think now more than ever they should kiss. Maybe make out.

Actually do you know how many times I said "Shut up, Hu." during these two episodes?? It was at least 5 I was getting SO mad at her for like no good reason, I don't even remember WHY exactly but I think her mom friend energy was getting TOO motherly and I'm no longer appreciating the particular WAY she mothers people, i.e. picking favorites + taking accountability for said favorites + defending them blindly and naively but in weirdly elitist way etc etc etc.. Very typical of Snellyfish to ship toxic men with female characters they don't like. Maybe I should look into my soul for this one, doesn't seem like,,,healthy, or something. I'll write my own callout post for me on that one dw.

Also I'm not necessarily saying Hu has bad writing or a wholly unlikeable personality at all btw, I am interested to know Why she's like that, I just gotta get over the hill of disliking her rn. Uber sweetie characters like that can just get on my nerves is all. She's also definitely got the secret motive for having multiple Attempts, huh? Give us your backstory queen,,,, I promise to like you a little more if you can bring a lil tear or two to my eye,,,,,,, I think my main thing with her is that she's like the most NORMAL of the group LMFAO

Either way, Huvid real. Sorry, but it shouldn't be surprising, I'm a Verturo shipper after all, it's in my natur-

SPEAKING OF VERTUROOOOOHHHH MY GGOOODDDDD I ATE SOOO DAMN GOOD. NO CRUMBS LEFT, I WAS GOING CRAZY. GOOD GOD CHRIST ALMIGHTY. The way that Veronika was the ONLY mf defending Arturo and he was like "girl you're making me look BAD" was so fucking funny, I am so horribly obsessed with their dynamic it's unreal

Not to "omg as a veronika kinnie-" for the millionth time but GIRL-- the way that I've said in the past Multiple Times that I hope both Arturo and David get worse and worse in an irredeemable way (mostly David, I kiiiinda want some nice Arturo content maybe one day 😳), and to have Veronika in like the same episode (I think) pivot back and forth towards both Arturo AND David in a "ohhh you're horribly fucked up I hope you never get better because I want in your brain NOW!!! let me IN!!!!!! THE TOXIC FUMES ARE CALLING TO ME LIKE A SWEET SWEET SIREN!!!!!!!" I think all three of them should also hold hands and kiss and--

OH. OH OHH. ARTURORRROOOO God as a general fuckin stan of all three Arturo + Veronika + David I ATE SO DAMN GOOD IT'S BEEN CRAZY TO CONTAIN MY THOUGHTS LMAO, had to stew on this one before writing it all out y'see. I definitely want to rewatch this chapter sometime because I know I've consumed it pretty mindlessly and a lot goes over my head. EITHER WAY.

Arturo backstory real??? Arturo's breakdown about his sister and how it's not his fault?? Not your fault in what way? Blushes and bats my eyelashes and holds your latex glove hand. plink plink. <-- sound of me batting my eyelashe.s. I was also incredibly normal when he straight up pulled a scalpel on Eden Kai Satou style, really really sane I didn't make monkey sounds or ANything like that, you guys. trust me.

In general I try not to give too hard of a time on DRDT's writing because it's like,, a passion project, obviously not professionally done, just a happy little writer writing their happy little characters AND I APPRECIATE AND RELATE TO YALL SO MUCH FOR THAT;; But I do have to finally properly mention how I frequently face the problem of a very consistent flow of characters being very straightforward, telling instead of showing, and making things just very awkward seeming? I bring this up mostly because of the Eden/Arei scene. Don't get me wrong I LOVE that dynamic and I LOVE what could've been between them in their friendship (🌈?) but I also wish that they didn't write Arei to so boldly claim like "I've been a manipulative bitch" or something like that, I guess I just don't feel that it's the kind of thing someone (especially like her, even with her breakdown-breakthru with David) would be able to articulate so clearly, and accept so honestly in such a short timeframe; I dunno. I've felt this way with a lot of dialogue even just in the prologue/introductions sections, wherein characters speak like they're Just Characters and know exactly how to word things like robots and just don't speak like Real people half the time. Whateva. That's my nitpick. I definitely think the dialogue has gotten better but the Arei thing ticked me off, but, I think her self-awareness might just be a crucial part of her character I'm not picking up on enough so,,,,augh, might just be me, honestly! I'm not the greatest writer myself so 🙏 feh!

Can't wait to figure out if I ship Arturo and J or not. Feel insane about it. Every time they talk I'm like DO I??? DO I SHIP IT??????? LOOKS AROUND AT THE AUDIENCE

GUYS I'LL BE REAL I'M STILL SO LOST ON WHO THE FUCKING KILLER IS LMAO!!!!!!! Entirely forgetting everyone's alibis right now so I can't really say who I'm leaning towards because they could be completely safe and I'm just dense and didn't pay enough attention. My b.

Even though Ace is one of my top fav characters I can feel myself getting steadily less and less interested in him just because all of his energy is going into the stupid Nico/Levi situation and I'm like SO sick of it Actual. I know it's mostly because I don't personally like Nico or Levi AND because this shit keeps getting brought up with no resolution nor any progress and it's like BRO.. I'M SICK OF IT. The amount of times they would bicker and I'd say "I'm sick of this drama." and then strategically zone out in self-defense was kind of funny. ACE DEFINITELY HAD SOME REALLY GOOD PARTS IN THESE EPISODES OUTSIDE OF THAT THOUGH GHGHHG HE KEEPS ME HOOKED, THAT DAMNED SMILE, as a chihuahua lover myself I can never stray too far from Ace's light, he's so fucking funny and I love his dynamic with David-- oh no, I love his dynamic with David........... Looks at my palms.

As always: Charles<3 I have such a funny relationship with him because it's like, he's not one of my top favs by any means, doesn't stand out the most for my particular taste, but I also have literally no reason to dislike him and he's just written GOOD, so whenever he shows up and has a nice scene or a nice line I just go "ah,,,,,,, charles<3" Not a single negative thought about him. He's like a sister to me. This isn't true I have many negative thoughts about my sister but you know!

I THINK THAT'S IT. THERE YOU GO. FEAST, MY ANONS, ASSUMING ANYONE HAS THE WILL TO READ THIS IN IT'S ENTIRETY HAHAHAHA. Time to go watch Demon Slayer Season 3!!!!!!

[blueskyscribe]

SPOILERS and rando thoughts on Earthspark episode 8

So I had the episode paused on this opening image while I grabbed snacks and I thought, "It looks kind of like Ravage . . . but I can't get overhyped, it's probably a weird angle of Thrash in mid-transformation" BUT THEN! IT WAS! RAVAGE!

The unholy GLEE I felt when I realized there were THREE cassette-bots! And that they got around the Frenzy blue / red debate by making her purple afkafjd;akl;s

And not kind of purplish-blue like G1 cartoon Rumble, but like. She's grape juice. She's a Jolly Rancher. P U R P L E.

The music during the cassette fight was great, real 80s techno vibe

"I have my own bird-don" Megatron says while fighting Laserbeak

The smuggest bird

Closeup of Frenzy's hand, she has fingernail polish and the black part of her hand mimics a ragged sleeve

Optimus is like "Stop pulling your punches" and Megatron's like "They're just little guys!"

Bumblebee: "I miss adults"

Megatron refuses to use his cannon on the cassettes, "it's not for swatting flies."

AMAZING entrance by Arcee

Arcee expresses affection the only way she knows how

I reeeeally like her design, it's so freaking good

according to Robby she has "an awesome berserker battle rage"

When my dad was in the US Army they really did make them dig holes and then fill them up when there was nothing else to do

Optimus, they stole a badge. That's like shoplifting.

"If G.H.O.S.T. learns [Bumblebee] is alive" they'll have big questions for Optimus . . . OMG, what's going on??

I was trying to remember why restraining bolts were familiar to me and then I realized it was from Star Wars. (They might be in TF lore too but that's where I know them from.)

Megatron is not having anything to do with the restraining bolts. I wonder if they were used on Cybertron or if G.H.O.S.T. invented them.

Okay, here we goooo! G.H.O.S.T. made a bargain with Optimus and Megatron, and Optimus is Lawful Good so he's following the bargain. Meanwhile Megatron's like "Don't they seem kind of EVIL to you? Speaking as someone who was once Professionally Evil, I'm getting bad mojo from this group that is locking up my ex-troops forever."

Megatron "gave his fealty" to Optimus to save their fellow Cybertronians, this is gonna spark a million fanfics and I can't wait

Whover is composing these shots is a superstar

man I love Arcee

"This world will take advantage of you if you don't speak up when things are wrong." Arcee is basically the foil for Optimus in this episode.

Optimus bud you're in the wrong lane

I'm not 100% sure what's going on here, but I would guess Laserbeak is sending what he recorded to Soundwave and updating him on the situation

I can't believe they went with cassette modes for them, I'M SO HAPPY

They should have the bots' lights blink when they're talking in vehicle mode... I like Optimus' and Megatron's voices but they aren't really distinct enough when their mouths aren't moving

IT'S SOUNDWAVE TIME BITCHES

all is right with the world

"Do not make this personal, Soundwave!" "It already is."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Arcee's arrived and she brought the kids

Soundwave playing back Megatron's own quote, AHHHHHHHHHH

It seems like Thrash can understand Laserbeaks taunts

The cassettes are really The Misfits to the Malto-bots' Jem and the Holograms, huh?

Soundwave shot straight to the heart with that "TRAITOR."

"What even IS a cassette?" asdfs;fjs;ldjf

i love u arcee

oooo, Teletraan-One is still kicking!

awww the moment between Optimus and Megatron!

"We're free now, you don't have to follow him anymore." Ohhhh? Were the cassettes not following Soundwave willingly?

Well, Ravage still is.

I KNEW IT. WHEN I FIRST SAW HIS DESIGN I SAW ThAT LATCH AND I THOUGHT "IT LOOKS LIKE HIS CHEST OPENS"

Unclear how Ravage got back to Soundwave, maybe subspace shenanigans or maybe just sneakiness

shrill screams of delight

SHRILLER SCREAMS

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

Enter Sandman

Spoilers for The Case of the Greater Gatsby Episode 9 below the cut.

I really, REALLY enjoyed this episode! Lots of fun quotes and little moments that piqued my interest and got ye olde wheels churning (not necessarily a good thing for the rest of you, but fun for me). And what a great use of set-up and pay-off with Willie's book club!

But before we get to all of that, a massive CONGRATULATIONS to my man Cliff Calloway on the romantic getaway to Ibiza with his contractor! And another massive CONGRATULATIONS to his household staff for not having to worry about any more bathrooms being added to the mix. It's nice when things work out! (Please let this work out. Do not take this away from me and Cliff and his housekeepers, Shipwrecked).

But onto the actual events of the episode. So Darby is getting tutored, which is perhaps the most sensible and least surprising thing happening on that entire set. Unless our note writer is using Mr. Broderick to infiltrate the set, I don't really think Darby's education will have anything to do with the case, but she did drop the potentially crucial factoid about Mel having a shindig on the night of Fitzy's death. We know he and Sheila were out partying that night--was this the event in question? (I might be wrong, but I don't think we've gotten the answer to exactly where he was that evening, right?) If so, that could place so many people with F. Scott the night someone decided that he had to die.

Also on the set, Leery received a threat of his own! The most notable thing about this note, besides its method of delivery (bold, and also underlines the suspicion that whoever writes/delivers the notes has free access to the lot and probably is or links back to one of the cast/crew/creatives) is that we don't know what it says. This is the only one that hasn't been read to the audience. Is this because it's the same-old same-old, nothing notable, anti-Grapes of Wrath stuff? Or are we meant to think that way, when in fact there's an important clue within that Shipwrecked is waiting to reveal? Even if it is simply another anti-adaption hit piece, it's notable that our Fitzgerald-penned movie has had three stars threatened--more than any other production that we know about. On one hand, a tap-dance version of The Grapes of Wrath is clearly a whole new level of egregious, so its understandable why whoever writes the letters would hate it the most. But still, the clear focus on Grapes is a definite tick in the "the anti-adaption letters are a really a smoke-screen for something else" column.

And then there's the big reveal of the episode: F. Scott Fitzgerald kept tapes of his writing process. Besides explaining Daniel Vincent Gordh's casting as Fitzy (I've genuinely been wondering about how they were going to incorporate him for months), this is huge for the cast. The tapes likely hold at least some answers as to what secrets The Greater Gatsby contained, why it was stolen, why Fitzgerald was killed, and maybe even who committed the murder. (It also could tell us and Fig about the secret Ford is protecting. I STILL HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT.) But where are these golden clues? It's possible, though unlikely, that they're boxed away at the studio like Sheila suggested. It's possible that whoever took the script also took them. But I keep coming back to the Persauds taking time out of the narrative to describe some of Zelda's paintings on the walls--particularly the one that shows a man whispering something "surreptitious" and is hanging slightly crooked. Like someone's been messing with it. What if the tapes are behind that painting? Could there be a safe in the wall, or even one or two tapes with the most vital information taped onto the painting's back (if the fame is bulky enough)? The subject matter of the art equates it with the hiding and telling of secrets, both making it an appropriate work to use to protect such things and also referencing the nature of the script stored on the missing tapes. And that would explain part of why Fitzgerald was so keen on keeping some of Zelda's work on the walls--one painting to protect his work, the others to distract. The psychological implications of him using Zelda's work to protect his precious secrets is also really interesting.

(My other thought is--what if F. Scott Fitzgerald was recording the night that he died? What if the final tape captured the voice of his killer, or even the murder itself? In that case, it certainly wouldn't be with the other tapes potentially hidden behind paintings or stored in studios, but it could be the set-up for a great reveal later on.)

Speaking of Zelda, welcome to the party Tessa Netting! I know that "it's the loose ends with which men hang themselves" is an actual famous quote from the real Mrs. Fitzgerald, but boy-oh-boy was it sinister in this particular context...

And off our duo goes to try and figure her out, anyways. I don't know about you guys, but I'm excited for the potential chaos of "no cop, no cop" if Ford actually ends up going along with Fig's shenanigans for once (he's thawing! I love him!).

[nachosncheeze]

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

📚 & 🏷️

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

Definitely! It depends on what you are looking for, so here's a few of my faves in a couple different categories:

***Edit: I'm adding a cut bc it's just occurred to me to mention, anyone new who's not done the series but is seeing this - I do have a spoiler-safe fics list that Scotti and I were working on at one point, so if there's a specific season you're looking for, but not wanting to know what twists come after (or if you're looking for fic for a specific episode or event), feel free to inbox me and I'll send some links. :)

Below this cut there are descriptions that spoil all sorts of things, so.....***

For Jeller, everything by @indelibleevidence is outstanding. I'm gonna start out saying probably a majority of it has passages that are NSFW so if you're a minor or not into that, tread lightly. I'm currently revisiting Remember to Forgive, which has late-season 3 Weller suffering amnesia that takes him mentally back to early season 2; you know, when he couldn't stand to be in the same room as his wife. The angst! It's a fave and totally my jam, I could probably quote it. Torture Without You is... well. Read it. Amazing. I'm a big Remi fan, and here you will also find one of our two Reller champions: the Damaged Goods series is so dark (also very NSFW) but soooo good.

@idealisticrealism is another that everyone should definitely read, imo. The Fire is basically my favorite one-shot ever, and she's our other Reller champion - as complete AUs go I can not possibly overstate my love for From the Ashes and Into Flames. I could literally quote them both to you.

@gypsyscarfwoman is responsible for my other favorite one-shot, Nothing Can Come Between Us, which is Jeller after season 2, but from Sarah Weller's POV. It's just a tiny bit angsty but fluffy and sweet. I love the way she describes the interactions between Jeller as viewed by a concerned third party. There's also Shelter From Your Storm, which is another season 2 AU except that post compound raid there's legitimate concern Nas might throw Jane under the bus and let the CIA have her, so Weller fake marries her to legitimize and protect her.

@ladyriot recently did a lovely retelling of s2 but as a Jane/Patterson slow burn. The way they low key agonize over each other is tragic, but the ending is so sweet without being completely saccharine, and it's definitely worth a look.

I haven't read much Zapatterson but @narvaldetierra is actively writing them. I read Remembers from September and No Good Deed Goes Unpunished a while ago, and I'm excited to reread them soon and then keep working through this ship 😁

Dylan Cruca is worth checking out if you want a bit of season 2/3 Jeller canon divergence/extra scenes, or Jeller/Reller AUs - I thought their post-season 1 AU ended up being a particularly interesting twist - but they're not for everyone.

I could go on but I'll end with one that's basically the fic equivalent to a playlist of Sad Songs to Sob To: Silence Speaks by lochness20, in which Jane's black site escape attempt fails, and when they find her, she is in a REALLY bad state. Warning that it's pretty dark and brutal and tw for suicidal thoughts and an eventual very graphic murder.

🏷 Is there a tag you like to search for when looking for fanfics to read?

I don't really look for specific tags; it's not a huge fandom so there's not a ton of room to be choosy. I can say that straight whump isn't my thing, nor is pure domestic stuff, and I generally steer clear of pregnancy/kidfic unless there's some other compelling plot alongside the kids. I guess I basically love angst most of all 😍

Thank you for the ask!! :D It's always fun to revisit some faves. 💕

I'm trying to find my mojo and inspiration to start creating again, and I find these memes are a really good exercise to think critically about my ideas and hopefully get the juices flowing. If anyone else is curious, please check here and consider sending me an ask!

I've also recently done a WIP ask meme, which you can find here if you'd like a peek at what I've been working on before the words left me. :)

[hiroukeimou]

My thoughts on the (hopefully) season finale.

Let's hope I can keep myself sorted because I have had a long week in real life. Also, I'll be bringing up a few callbacks to previous episodes during this so bear in mind if you're super behind on the show.

Spoilers under the cut.

Right off the bat, let's tackle Rafael.

There is something I began to notice last episode in-between all the joking about his hair/posture: How much do we know about this antagonist from his own mouth? All we know about Rafael going into the finale is he might have been betrayed by his own comrades and fell into human hands (as per Shall concluding this without direct confirmation or flashbacks). There isn't much to go on about how or why he desires to be king over his own species other than for power. Because, if you think about it, if fairies betrayed him and humans subjugated him, why should he want to be king for anything other than power? And yet, in the finale, he's supposed to feel sympathetic in his final moments on screen. The problem is this is the final episode and he has primarily served as an exposition dump for the previous two episodes (outside of antagonizing Shall & Anne's relationship). Genuinely, I did not know if I was supposed to feel sorry for him or not because I know literally nothing about his person (of course, Lusul saying "I feel sorry for him" doesn't help). The worst part is he's been here for close to eight episodes…

The fight between him and Shall is… anti-climatic. There's an issue I had during this episode: The big confrontation they hyped up since last episode barely lasts two minutes in the episode itself. No joke, they trade blows for a bit then Hugh and Earl of Downing finally find their place (thanks to Shall) and Rafael simply throws himself off the fortress out of the blue. … … I'm sorry, WHAT!? That's it? This was my problem with the finale following the source material so faithfully because it shot itself in the metaphorical foot here. The animation is fire though; in fact, it's like that for basically all of this episode.

The lull after the fight feels alright. The downside of this small arc is I know none of the fairies names aside from Lusul and their time on screen is super short compared to the artisans earlier on. Regardless, at least they're free. I do have to question when and where Shall found all of their wings and still managed to catch up to them before the soldiers arrived. Especially since he was fighting Rafael most of the time...

The scene of Anne falling to her knees to hug Shall will forever live in my heart. The handholding scene, too.

The timeskip is a bit jarring since it goes from "soldiers incoming, explain thyselves" to "we're home everyone" within one cut. The reunion of Anne & Mythril was the most adorable thing. All of the artisans looking relieved also felt sweet. Even though it's a bit jarring everyone is acting like Anne was on vacation, I found it kind of cute how they all know Anne is worried about the sugar confections above everything else.

If I had not received vol.4 of the light novel on the day this aired, I would have found the conversation between Anne & Bridget odd. I'm not surprised she dissolved her engagement to Elliot or her relationship with Orland blossoming in the background.

Finally, Anne & Shall (plus Mythril at the end).

The ending of the show is bittersweet, of course, but it also isn't really uplifting either. The Holy Festival goes down without a hitch. However, Shall & Anne are now affected by Rafael's words and so there's no confession. The romantic tension of the previous six episodes has now died. It's sad because the trio themselves feels disconnected from every bit of plot that's happened in the last six episodes, I swear. They're optimistic for the future, and I love them for it, but I also felt so conflicted watching this scene in particular. There's something off about this bit of the episode, and looking at social media, I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this.

Hopefully J.C. Staff will come back to this. Until then, it's a long four-year wait until all 18 volumes of the light novels are finally released in English (provided Yen Press doesn't give up). Maybe I'll come back to this episode a bit more positive once I can read the volumes of the light novel these last few episodes covered. For now, this is all I can articulate.

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

What did you think about the new season of black mirror? I have no one else to talk to about it sorry 🥺

Also too shy to send off anon

this is how i feel anon! please, come closer. (big spoiler-free)

shortest answer: i liked it.

less short answer: i really liked some, and the others were just fine. idk why people feel the need to shit all over them.

long answer:

im a huge fan of how it's less "uwu future tech is scawwy" and more modern social commentary. i know other people are all up in arms about that, but i personally like it. black mirror's tech-heavy episodes were good and i think they've done it enough! also people are scarier than tech in my opinion lbvs, so it's a welcome breath of fresh air to me. also loved how a lot of these were set back a few decades.

i was also watching some videos because i can never just be normal about something i like, and the director(s) have said that they literally do not want to be known as the "ooga boogy scary tech" show. so it makes sense that it's less of that this season.

this is more than you probably want, but im gonna do a episode breakdown, and if you wanna share what you thought of them too, i'd be more than happy to read!

Joan Is Awful: fine. the concept is pretty interesting and the twist is kinda cool, but to me it felt very "hey this is our opening episode and we're gonna stack it with celebrities, okay?" and that's fine. i just wasn't as pulled into it. it's my least favorite of the five, but i don't dislike it.

Loch Henry: probably my favorite. the scenery is soooooooo oh my god. it's gorgeous. so many beautiful shots. the acting was incredible and believable and i still think about these characters daily. this is one that i fell face-first into and immediately got swallowed up in. nothing else was happening in the world when i was watching this. the twist was heart-wrenching and the unfolding of it was so tense, with both davis and pia finding out, and pia being made to face it alone. in an unfamiliar place. i've seen people whining saying it was predictable, but couldn't be me. (am i.....perchance...stupid? 🤔) the ending shots are so heavy and made me scramble to stop the autoplay so i could just sit and think about it. HUGE fan. honestly had me reflecting on my true-crime consumption in a big way.

Beyond The Sea: close-second favorite. the concept was very good, and even though you could kinda predict certain things that would happen, it kept me on my toes in the final stretch/final decisions made by david. the romance lover in me was very interested in the whole 'falling in love with someone else in my husband's body' concept, despite the hemming and hawing from other viewers lol (am i.....perchance...stupid 🤔 cont.) the acting wasn't quite as believable for me personally as loch henry, but this is another one i keep thinking about.

Mazey Day: fine. i think people are shitting on this one just because they can. did i sit there with my hands out at the TV saying "huh? why? wait, are we really doing this?" during the twist? yeah, i sure did. but you know what? after thinking about it, it's very poetic. there's a raw catharsis to someone literally tearing the throat out of people who make their lives hell. you love to see it. final shot? i will admit, it got me. also hector kinda sucks but is unfortunately babygirl.

Demon 79: speaking of babygirls. nida <3. gaap <3. this is another one that was fine concept-wise. i understand it's technically under the Red Mirror studio, whatever the hell that means. but it was more about the characters to me than the concept. which is fine. the whole demons-or-delusions thing is a little touch and go for me, but i can understand why they would fall back onto that. also in my obsessive video watching later, there are a LOT of easter eggs regarding a future that black mirror's touched on in past episodes. so that's pretty cool. i dunno! thinking about nida and gaap often, but not because of the content. just because i think they're cool.

god damn this is way more than anyone needs. sorry but also not. i think i needed to do this lmao. if you or anyone reading this wants to share their thoughts on this season, my inbox is always open!

[kamreadsandrecs]

Title: The Thick and The Lean Author: Chana Porter Genre/s: science fiction Content/Trigger Warning/s: cults, eating disorders, sexual harassment, death, murder, earthquakes, racism Summary (from author's page): In the quaint religious town of Seagate, abstaining from food brings one closer to God.

But Beatrice Bolano is hungry. She craves the forbidden: butter, flambé, marzipan. As Seagate takes increasingly extreme measures to regulate every calorie its citizens consume, Beatrice must make a choice: give up her secret passion for cooking or leave the only community she has known.

Elsewhere, Reiko Rimando has left her modest roots for a college tech scholarship in the big city. A flawless student, she is set up for success…until her school pulls her funding, leaving her to face either a mountain of debt or a humiliating return home. But Reiko is done being at the mercy of the system. She forges a third path—outside of the law.

With the guidance of a mysterious cookbook written by a kitchen maid centuries ago, Beatrice and Reiko each grasp for a life of freedom—something more easily imagined than achieved in a world dominated by catastrophic corporate greed. Buy Here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-thick-and-the-lean-chana-porter/18667830 Spoiler-Free Review: Another book that took me a while to write a review on because I had to turn over things in my head before I could get down on paper what I was thinking. Been a while since I read any of these books in succession, and I think I need more of them in my life.

Anyway: I think most people who've written reviews about this book have already mentioned how it tackles the relationship with food, and how it relates to diet culture, and how diet culture as been the basis for cultish behavior/actual cults (I like this episode from Cult Podcast about Jillian Epperly and Jilly Juice - just note that this podcast might slant more humorous than some people like while dealing with serious subject matter, and this particular episode makes liberal references to bodily functions that some people might not want to hear about in certain situations). This novel just takes it to an extreme, with an extra layer of factory town on top. Which, when you really think about it, a factory town isn't really all that different from a cult situation now, is it?

And while all that's definitely important to think about, and the book certainly puts it front and center, I was more drawn to the parallels between the two main characters, Beatrice and Reiko: specifically, how Beatrice seems to "ascend" in terms of the trajectory of her story and development, whereas Reiko's is a "descent".

It doesn't seem that way at first though. In fact, at first it feels like the opposite: Beatrice "descends", while Reiko "ascends", so to speak, when comparing the trajectories of their stories in the first third of the novel. But as the novel goes on, it becomes clear that while Beatrice's story is a "descent" in terms of her material circumstances, it is a clear "ascent" in terms of her inner life and her ability to be true to herself and the world. On the flipside, Reiko's story appears to be an "ascent" in terms of her material circumstances, but is a clear "descent" in terms of her inner life and her ability to be truthful to herself and the world.

I suspect that I derived this metaphor from the way the way the City is portrayed in the novel: as one becomes wealthier, one "ascends" through the layers of society until one lives in the air itself, like an angel whose feet never touch the ground. But that kind of ascent is not necessarily good for one's soul; sometimes you have to touch grass in order to be a better person, instead of being so detached from the world that you forget it - and everyone else living in it - exists, and become absorbed entirely in nothing but your own personal concerns.

While these comparisons are of course interesting, and highlight different aspects of the world in the novel (as well as similar ideas that are happening in the real world right now), I found myself wishing that Reiko's story had been given the space of an entirely different book. Not to say that it's badly-told, or that it's a bad story; I just think that it doesn't rest as comfortably alongside Beatrice's story as I would like. While the themes and concerns of their stories do have some overlaps, I truly feel like Reiko's story is a completely separate beast from Beatrice's, and deserves to have its own room to breathe, as it were. Maybe this book could have been done as a pair of matched novellas, as opposed to one whole novel? This is just my own thought of course, since the author knows what they want to do with their book and it's not my place to tell them how to execute the story they want to tell.

That being said: I liked the uncertainty of their respective endings. The novel talks a lot about change and how to bring it about: whether that's change in oneself, or change in the world around oneself, and the uncertain endings for both Beatrice and Reiko are a reminder of how such change never really comes into being unless one continues to do the work. It's also a reminder that though stories end, life continues: it doesn't stop moving just because the storyteller decided to write "The End" at the bottom of the page. It's an important reminder, I think, to people who are on the front lines of initiating and creating change in the world: sometimes the ending of one story is just the beginning of another, and with that comes all the potential for change and uncertainty as one would expect from the start of any story.

So overall, this was a great read: the language in particular is lovely, especially where it focuses on food descriptions. However, I think it bites off a bit more than it can chew. Beatrice’s story is great, and Reiko’s story is great, and the idea of using The Kitchen Girl to both world-build and connect their two disparate stories is pretty damn cool, but I rather think their stories are distinct enough that they need to be told entirely separately. I say this specifically in reference to Reiko's story, which i think could have been more justice if it just had a bit more room to breathe. The attempt to encompass so many themes - diet culture as religion; the sublime experience of the senses through food; being true oneself despite the potential consequences; sacrificing oneself in order to achieve stability and security in life; the effects of climate change; classism; racism; colonialism - this book tries to get them all in there and doesn’t quite let all those themes really breathe. I rather admire the attempt, but again I wish each of those ideas had been given a bit more room to really expand.

Rating: four plums

[specialability]

Andor EP6

What a stunning episode. They managed to keep the tension up through the whole thing, cutting between the Aldhani rituals and the heist, both of which are attempts at rebellion. I seriously can't believe it's been six episodes already, the time has flown by. [spoilers]

I think when Skeen made that offer to Cassian, after both of them chose to go to the doctor to try to save Nemik, Cassian was shocked, and then was shocked at himself for being shocked. If he really was so mercenary he should jump at that offer. Walk away free and clear. He's still very torn. He says he is as cynical and apathetic as Skeen, but ultimately, he decides that's not who he wants to be. Instead, he takes the journal. Nemik was always going to die, he was covered in death flags the moment he was introduced. And in a way his death may bind Cassian even tighter. If nothing else, Cassian has been shown to be someone who tries to pay his debts and remains loyal to people he considers family and friends. Every time someone holds out a hand to Cassian, he may get defensive, but he wants to take it. He wants to trust people and have hope for the future. He just doesn't see any yet.

I don't know where the show is going from here but I'm still deeply invested!! In a 12 episode anime series this would only be the minor mid-series climax so we're due for a bit of a denouement in the next episode before building back up to the final climax of the show. It's really very ballsy to have such a big episode so early because in most shows the heist would be the whole story. Making the heist a success but an almost pyrrhic victory, not something to celebrate at all, is very not-Star Wars. It might be the end, or it might be just the beginning.

Before this ep I was going to write a thing about how the first raid Cassian joined as a kid, going to look at the crashed ship, is mirrored by the heist team but ended up busy as hell. Still might write it but need to rewatch the first couple of eps to take screencaps. Needless to say I think having a young woman lead both groups is intentional.

Anyway, in honour of Nemik everybody should go (re)read the Communist Manifesto (it's very short and in plain language) and then maybe Bookchin on the Manifesto.