#now I’ll go back to writing my angst and crying bc I have sad AUs and need to get them out

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

I’m going to be sappy for a moment since I stumbled on old posts and I just have to be sappy okay? It’s my purpose.

It’s interesting to see how I was using tumblr to see other blogs (before I posted) and see their content and make sure they knew I loved them and their work (writings or art or anything) years ago, and how I am now. I post a lot, write a lot, talk to friends a lot, show my support a lot, and use tumblr as my safe space. I talk about my issues or something that crosses my mind (on my main blog and my other blogs), or about what’s happening in my life, and I get to talk to friends! I talk to people happily and actually connect about our interests, and I don’t just stay in the background.

It’s so funny to look back at my old posts and see how I was SOOO excited to get 19 followers and said how I believed my blog was just gonna be a random one no one would follow. I reblogged it YEARS ago (like 2018) and said how I had 300+ then.

Guys. I was that excited and I wrote PARAGRAPHS.

👏PARA👏GRAPHS

And now I have 1,262. Me in 2018 would’ve been so excited and freaking out about how many I have, and writing even more paragraphs about how thankful I am…so I’m going to. I never expected to ever hit 1k, or anywhere near it. I use tumblr to screech about the things I love and I’m so grateful that out of these 1,262 people, I have found friends and though we don’t know each other irl, it still makes my day when I see your name come up in my notifications. It adds a boost to my day, and I know I’m making someone else’s day better too. I love posting about my interest and learning that someone else likes my opinion and likes my own work, too. And seeing their little add-on’s too! It’s so great! It’s nice to have people to talk to and have them listen and then add on to the things we love. I love being able to show my appreciation even if I’m just another number to another blog.

Anyways, mutuals I love you all and I’m happy you’re following me and I hope you’re happy to follow me as well :)💙.

And even if we aren’t friends/mutuals but you’re part of the 1,262, I love you very much as well and seeing your name pop up makes me happy, and I hope I make you happy, random scroller on my blog.

Goodnight.

[jikookpancakes]

JIKOOK FIC RECS that no one asked for (2021)

but im giving anyway because THE TALENT IN THIS FANDOM IS INSANE

long post incoming!! this is probably just part 1 because i wont stop reading anytime soon so i’m inserting that link just in case i do make another one in the future

What’s a Soul Really Worth, Anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth - 130k words, fantasy, demon!jm, witch!jk, listen, this and the next one are my top 2 jikook fics of all time, so well-written, plot so exciting legit reads like a book, better than a lot of books tbh, the world-building is INSANE, jungkook and the gang accidentally summon demon!jimin and chaos ensue, especially for jungkook...and you know why!!!, so funny, angsty, cried so much, happy ending but listen to me: you gotta read the sequel too, YOU GOTTA.

Militat Omnis Amans: The Beginnings by edaen - 92k words, fantasy, werewolf!jk, vampire!jm, forbidden love, super slow burn but super worth it, JIKOOK IN THIS IS MY FAVORITE JIKOOK IN ANY FIC EVER EVER EVER, this is the ultimate all or nothing will freeze hell over for the other kind of love, and the way this is written is just so... how do i describe it. like you can just tell the author wanted to be very realistic with their feelings. you’ve seen the word count, this is SLOW burn. like you will legit feel their struggle to just be able to love each other and while it hurts, it’s also SO GLORIOUS. i love this one so much and if you like reading angst with happy ending but like cranked up to 200% then read this. bonus feels if you read the whole series

Until Dawn (series) by edaen - this is the long series where the previous one above is part of. highly rec if you love fantasy and you wanna read about bts being a rag tag group of supernatural beings fighting evil yay. also it makes the above fic more satisfying because you see more of jikook just being tgt and in love (with bonus angst because of course)

7 Signs by NamHyora - 27k words, secret spies au, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm who is always used as a raven in their operations aka they use jimin and his attractive self to attract people and gather information or acquire targets and all that spy stuff, and his bestie alpha jk is not too happy about it hehe, friends to lovers, iove this one so much i wish it was longer but i think the author is planning to write a sequel!

Drop Like Confetti by annie_vi - 110k words, ceo!jk, age difference, age swap, ahhh i love this fic so much cause jimin smart and mature and has this no bs attitude, and he can keep up with jk despite the age gap and the difference in status/experiences, jk sexy dilf in this one eheh, i love it cause the drama/angst tackles a very real concern for such couples, like there’s no angst just for the sake of having angst, it really makes sense where they’re both coming from, they’re so whipped for eo too so love that for me

Fold it Up Like Origami by annie_vi - 99k words, gamer!jk, model!jm, same author as above and jk is so boyfriend goals in this one and in all this author’s fics in general like wow my standards are so high now i will legit be single forever just reading jikook fics (with no regrets), secret relationship due to their celeb status, well-written as usual, dialogues/banter in this author’s fics are just YES

The Tournament by kinkmins - 34k words, prince!jm, bodyguard!jk, abo, i’ll paste part of the summary here “Prince Jimin gets ready to hold a tournament where 50 alphas compete for a chance to court him, his father the king hires a new bodyguard who is a little too blunt and a little too talkative.“, i really love this oneeeee

Screwed Up and Brilliant by annie_vi - 113k words, escort!jk, jimin needed a date for a work event and in comes jungkook, escort extraordinaire with a no sex rule and jimin is just dasdkjfhasl, a lot of that “is this real or is he just acting” kinda angst, fluff smut angst

Like Everything Glows by annie_vi - 180k words, merman!jm, aquatic vet!jk, ok this is like my 4th rec from this author just read all their fics you’re welcome, this is their first fantasy fic but soso good, i rec’d this to someone who doesn’t really read fics and she really loved it and said “their love is so pure hhh”, she’s right

Track one: I love you by honeydice - 30k words, they’re “just” best friends, lots of pining it hurts, there’s some yoonmin and mentioned past jinmin in this so just noting in case, angst, denial of feelings, siiiiigh

InYou by edaen - 4k words, pwp :), abo, the morning after jikook mating, more sexytimes ensue + fluff

Falling For You Again by Rose_gold715 - 30k words, amnesia au, jk forgets about jimin and idk just something about this hits right in the feels. btw i don’t support the jk hated jm before in real life agenda so i don’t like this fic for that reason but i like this fic because i love me some good painful angst with happy ending.

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia - 55k words, bodyguard!jk, president’s son!jm, jk is assigned to shadow jm bc his life is under threat, and things develop :), jm is jk’s gay awakening :) :)

A Touch of Sin by pettey - 102k words, fantasy au, police officer!jk, supernatural!jm, shamanism, LOOK AT THE RANGE OF JIKOOK WRITERS YALL, this is such an interesting concept, so different from every other fic i’ve read, really well-written, sometimes you come across fics and you cant help but go “someone out there rly blessing me with this art for free”

Tears to the Tide by haromame - 65k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, honestly there’s not a lot of abo elements it’s focused more on jungkook having ptsd as he just came from war, established relationship jikook, he comes back home to jimin and things have just... changed. except their love ok THEY LOVE EO SO MUCH this made me cry so f much ugh so good tho.

Zero Hour by edaen - 5k words, canon compliant, a little drabble based around rosebowl jikook, it’s part of a series/collection of canon compliant jikook so if you’re looking for more canon compliant here you go!!, also if you can’t tell already i tend to like several things from a single author, i haven’t read their other fics im legit saving for sad days but i am confident enough to say their other fics are also rec-worthy.

Wonder by wordcouture - 7k words, im sorry in advance, mcd :( pls take care of yourself, i don’t like sad endings ok i don’t, but this is so popular and i was like, ok let’s see what the hype is all about, i get it now, :((((((((((((((((((((, well-written tho, bc the author will manage to crush your heart in just 7k words ha ha

The Omega Revolution by PinkBTS  - 158k words, abo, alpha!jk omega!jm, dystopian au, the hunger games more specifically mockingjay vibes, angst with happy ending but there’s some...things... lost along the way and i think that’s realistic for a dystopian war au, well-written

Blind Switch - 226k words, jockey!jk, rich spoiled brat!jm, jm gets exiled to his grandparents ranch where he meets jk yeehaw, im sorry for the yeehaw, anyway fluff smut angst enemies friends to lovers hurt/comfort slow burn happy ending, all the good stuff, ugh jk so boyfriend goals, also the amount of fluff in the later chapters thank u writer

Finally by Rose_gold715 - 12k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, angst with happy ending, jikook mate out of convenience and jimin runs away from jk and his pack feeling unloved and outcasted, but jungkook goes after him :((

Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping by Ashlyn17 - 235k words, fantasy au, when i say jikook has the best fic writers i mean jikook has the best fic writers because THE WORLD-BUILDING in this one?, THE PLOT TWIST?, yesyesyes, jungkook is a powerful fae and jimin is assigned to be his housekeeper hehe, listen my entire fic rec has several that could be great netflix shows and this is definitely one of them

A Spell That Reminds Me of Your Name by Chimneycricket - 42k words, wizards!au, enemies to friends to lovers and the development felt natural, well-written plus the author sometimes makes art of their fics and other jikook fics and posts on twitter, both their fics and art are so good, i’ve heard good stuff about their other fics too :)

that’s it for now!

just a quick one about my preferences: idc about tops/bottoms, i read just about anything but i prefer fantasy and multi-chaptered fics, i love established relationship jikook so hmu with recs anytime, i don’t like reading anything with cheating and mcd, i love fics where jk and jm are just so friggin in love they are just IT for eo, and at the end of the day even if there are elements to the fics i wouldn’t normally read, as long as they’re well-written then i’m all for it

[dollslayer]

Okie I’m not sure if you are taking requests or not, but I’m throwing my towel in the ring. Idk if you watched Scandal or not but the scene where Liv tells Fitz “if you want me earn me” I think would be great for one of CE’s characters, I’m personally leaning towards either SR where it’s an AU and Peggy is still in the picture or Andy where he’s not fully divorced from Laurie but getting there and he’s already started an affair with reader and this is the ultimatum he needed to fully finalize the divorce.

A/N: I've actually never received a request before!! So I'm down! I don't write for Andy bc I haven't seen DJ so I went with Steve and Peggy. I spun it a little bit differently but hopefully you enjoy it! Thank you for the prompt and stopping by my inbox! 💖

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter

Warnings: Angst, secret relationship, love triangles

You sat in the corner of the pub, simmering behind your bottle of beer. Everyone else was leaning against the bar, laughing and joking. A successful break for the Commandos and SSR called for a night of celebration.

But you were in no mood to celebrate, it was your code breaking that ended up saving the day but no one paid you any thanks. Festivities went on around you but you sat still at a dusty table and picked at the label of your beer. Your thoughts were consumed entirely by the jealousy and hurt you felt watching his hands slip around her waist. Whatever she must’ve said just now had to have been the funniest thing on Earth because that’s how Steve reacted. His eyes crinkled in the corners and his grip on her tightened. He looked warm and comfortable and she looked right at home in his arms.

Peggy Carter was sexy and confident, she was a symbol of hope and ambition and she was the perfect compliment to Steve. Steve had insisted that their relationship was ‘just for show’ and that they needed to keep appearances, people expected a certain image from Steve Rogers and they needed morale to stay high if they wanted to keep defeating Hydra.

He insists time and again that he doesn’t love her, but it’s something he has to do for the good of the group. He insists that you don’t understand, but that he loves you very much and when all this is over you’ll be together in Brooklyn.

That dream feels a million miles away right now as you witness her place a kiss on his cheek. With that you’ve had enough for one night. You’re hurt and humiliated and you can’t even tell anyone why. You leave the pub for your quarters before anyone can see you cry. Steve doesn’t even notice you’ve left.

Your walk back to your quarters is brisk, bitter tears making their way down your cheeks. You had told yourself at the beginning of all this that you could live with it. Steve was yours in private and he did love you, that’s what mattered, right?

The relationship between them feels too real for them to just be putting on airs. He respected Peggy, respected her opinion. He always wanted to hear what she had to say and he listened deeply with intent every time she did. Any time you tried to contribute you were bowled over in an instant and never once had he stood up for you.

It felt like Peggy was everything you’re not in his eyes, afterall she was the ‘image’ he was going for. So what did that make you? Would you ever be enough? If you made it back to Brooklyn would he hold your hand in the street? Would he kiss your cheek and laugh at your jokes? Would he love you like he says he does?

Your mind was trapped in this downward spiral of thoughts and you hadn’t heard Steve enter the room. He came up behind you and kissed your cheek but it felt cold and mechanical. You didn’t turn to face him, you couldn’t.

“Fun night, huh?”

You don’t respond, you feign indifference as you slowly rise from your chair. You realize you hadn’t even removed your jacket or shoes so you shrug off the sleeves slowly. You feel like your heart is in your throat, tight and dry. You can feel yourself working up the nerve to confront him, you just need a little push.

You can’t let yourself back down from this again. Can’t let him talk you down again. It’s you or her. If he loves you like he says he does, why are you consumed by a feeling of imminent dread?

“What’s wrong, doll? You feeling okay? Peggy said you were looking a little tired, figured you’d gone to bed. I hadn’t even realized you dipped out, wanted to check in.”

Your sadness turned to anger at that point. Was he really so daft to have no idea what was going on or was he choosing to? You almost didn’t want the answer.

“Didn’t want to ruin your good time. Not when you were so… cozy” You finish bitterly.

Steve sighs and begins to pace the room.

“Sweetheart, not this conversation again”

“No! I’m sick of this, I’m tired of being treated like a doll, you think you can just pick me up to play with whenever you want and I’ll just be there waiting for you. Meanwhile you don’t even pay me one bit of your attention when we’re out there. You can’t keep stringing me along like this, Steve.”

You’re talking with your hands and getting angrier by the second, you can’t stop yourself now.

“Look, you know if things were different-”

“Things? You mean me? If I was different? If I was her? I’m so sick of never being enough for you. God forbid anyone ever gets the idea that we’re together in any sense. Do you know how humiliating it is? How much it hurts?”

You angrily wipe your tears away with the back of your hand. Your whole head is throbbing but if you don’t say this now you might never.

“It’s me or her, your image be damned.” You grab your jacket and head for the door. “I’m worth so much more than you think I am. If you want me then earn me, Steve.”

With that you close the door behind you and leave Steve to mull over your words. The streets are damp and cold but you don’t care. A part of you can’t believe you finally said it but another part reassures you it was the right thing to do. You are worth more than being someone’s backup plan. It’s up to Steve to realize that.

[levisgirll]

How about one where levi comforts his s/o on her birthday? She maybe doesn't feel as important or not good enough? My bday is actually coming up and im a bit anxious for it and i tend to cry on my birthdays for no reason, but now im feeling as if i have a reason to cry? idk but i just would like some fluff/comfort with levi bc i love him sm. Thank you!

𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

text: hello anon!! First of all thank you so much for your lovely request I would gladly write this up for you 🥺💕 and second HAPPY EARLY/LATE BIRTHDAY <3 I hope I am not too late and you get to see this post either on your birthday or before :,) I hope you have a lovely day filled with love and laughter cause everyone deserves that on their birthday 🥰 and also I hope this post somehow helps you go through with your bday and makes u feel perhaps less anxious or sad! I kind of felt like this on my last birthday but I went to read some fanfics and they kind of helped me out and made me smile so I hope that is the same case with you when you read what I wrote for you :,) also i made this modern au ahhhh

synopsis: it’s y/n’s birthday! He tries to make this day special as it is since he wants his s/o to realize that! Later he finds out that his s/o feels on this very day not that important and also tears up. As Levi discovers that, he does and says things only on your birthday that really made you surprised and on this day you felt extremely good and special y/n cries happy tears instead <3

comfort fluff, bit angst, a little bit suggestive (?), modern au ♡ —

Today is the day, and not any day but Levi's s/o birthday! He woke up extremely early for this day. He had already planned out what to do coming from a man who is pretty much organized and ahead of things you weren’t shocked to see him getting up quite early.

“Levi..?” Y/N said in such a soft and tired tone, it really warmed his heart. “Love...Happy birthday.” He would go near your ear and whisper that, then gave you a kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry I didn't mean to wake you up...Go back to sleep.” He would say as he pushed your hair back gently that was laying on your face. You felt his warm fingertips brush against your cheek and you open your eyes slightly to look at your man, Levi that was up and putting his shirt on. You got up a bit reached out and pulled on the his shirt “Wait...don’t leave.”

He turned around quickly and looked at you, ‘Why does she sound uneasy....?’ He would wonder as he came closer to you and kissed on top of your head. “Silly, I’m not leaving or going anywhere. I’ll be in the kitchen so just rest a bit and I’ll wake you up later on, Hm?” Levi said with a smile, after the war and when you both left Paradise to start a life in the outside world, Levi started to smile more, laugh and be even more affectionate towards you and this warmed your heart. He promised you that he would protect you till the last days even if there was no war anymore and also....promised you to show you more love cause he deiced to spend the rest of his life with you, and he was in progress in doing that!

After a couple of hours, you felt a small rub on your shoulders. “Time to wake up birthday girl” He gave you a warm smile and helped you get out of your shared bed. You felt how gentle, and careful he was for you...he truly did cherish you and loved you a lot, you meant the world to Levi.

As you were brushing your teeth, Levi was brushing your hair and when he was done he would put his arms around your waist and kept kissing your neck until you were done and ready.

Your cheeks were red now and you had a shy look on your face. “Ha, Don't be shy with me Love, it’s just us alone.” He would say and softly rub your arms. “Let’s go then?” and you give him a nod and held on his hand.

When you both went downstairs, you gasped and was taken aback by what you saw. A beautiful breakfast that was set up and prepared for the both of you, a sack of pancakes with fruits that was cut by him, your favorite fruit juice, and there was a vase with a bouquet and you could see a card that was hidden in the beautiful flowers he picked out for you and it was written ‘Happy Birthday my Dearest’

“Wow, you did this for...me?” You would say while giving him a sad expression that almost broke his heart. “Who else?” He said with a sarcastic tone and pulled your hand towards the table. You and Levi enjoyed the breakfast and you both had a good morning filled with laughter.

“Sit down, I’m gonna clean the dishes” you nodded and went to sit on the coach. You then started to feel...a bit anxious? Y/N wondered how the rest of the day would go and you started to think if what Levi did was all worth it?

“Love, what's wrong?” Levi was quick to read your vibe, he approached you from behind, and sensed you were feeling perhaps down. “Nothing...”

“Yea I’m not gonna buy that, tell me....What’s wrong?” Y/N stood up slowly and was looking down, her hair was covering her face and that made Levi quickly go in front of her and held on her shoulders. Tears then started to roll down from your cheeks and Levi pulled you to his chest for a hug. “I-I don’t know why I’m tearing up! But I am feeling as if I have a reason to cry and I usually cry on my birthdays Levi...I’m sorry, it’s probably for nothing.”

“Why are you apologizing?” He hugged you tighter and then proceed to stroke your hair. “These feelings are completely normal, why apologize for it? But it’s okay you don’t need to explain why you are crying love.” Levi waited for y/n to calm down as he caressed her hair, and Y/N pulled her face away from his muscular chest and looked up at him. He gave a small smile to her and wiped her tears “Let’s....make those tears not for ‘nothing’ or for ‘no reason’ to be wasted, but instead let me make those tears a reason for you today. A reason that caused you to smile and laugh today.”

Levi was now looking at you in such a loving way, you could feel all his love, emotions, the way he caressed you, hugged you, touched your hair gently and now holding both of your hands, it warmed your heart. He was indeed a man who was really mature, and has a great deal of empathy towards Y/N. Levi understood your feelings cause of the deep love he had for you. “You are important to me, okay? So, let me make those tears....happy tears instead.”

After a while, Levi told you to get dressed up and ready because he was going to take you somewhere. You both left your apartment that you both shared at the moment and walked down the street, while Levi tightly holding your hand and on the other hand he was carrying a brown paper carrier bag which had something in it. “What’s inside?” “A surprise.”

Later did you know, you both reached a huge garden park and you saw a group of people that you recognized. Your friends! “Everyone!”

As soon as Hanji hear you, Hanji came running towards you and hugged you tightly which was then followed by Jean, Mikasa, Armin and the rest all wishing you a happy birthday!

You then spotted Onyankopn, Falco and Gabi preparing the huge picnic filled with a variety of delicious food and then Levi brought out the cake which he designed and baked just for you.

The whole afternoon was spent with your loved one, friends and you all had such a great time, playing some card games, tennis which Jean and Connie that they brought along with them. You were packed with so many gifts too, and Levi was holding on to your waist and hand the whole time and would sneak in some kisses on your cheek when no one would look. Hanji then talked about how your relationship was going and Levi would suddenly talk really highly of you, and pamper about you then he would mention all of the times you meant a lot to him and he cherished.

The sun started to set and everyone was heading to leave, and Levi held on your hand and you both went to see the sunset while sitting on the bench. You found the sunset really beautiful, but to Levi he thought you were more prettier. He held on your hand and then said while focusing on your eyes “You know...When you are not around, I always crave for your touch. You just make me feel good so I always find myself a chance to hold your hand constantly.” Before you could say anything, he gave you a box that was wrapped with a ribbon. “Open it.” Your eyes widen when you saw the gift, it was Rose Gold Watch and it looked rather expensive but extremely charming. He went closer to you and brought your wrist closer and wore the watch for you. “I knew this would suit you.” Levi smiled again and looked at you, tears were now forming on your eyes but this time...it was happy tears and you gave him a big smile that really warmed his heart. “Thank you Levi, I really love you...” He went closer to you and kissed your cheek which washed away the tears that was rolling down. “I love you more....And didn't I say I would make that happy tears today, Hm? But we aren’t done, your birthday did not end yet”

After you both reached home, you both went to the bedroom and you started to change into your comfy silk nightgown, while Levi took of his shirt and was only...wearing his joggers? ‘Wait...He would only do that if he is in the mood’ You thought as you started to blush slightly.

“Lev-” Your words were taken aback when Levi suddenly embraced you and kept his face in your neck while bring his arms around your waist. “Can...I make you feel good tonight? I want to make your birthday memorable....just for today.”  It was more of a whisper when he said it, and you managed to hear it all even though you could feel his heart beating fast.

Your face was now red, you could feel his back muscle tense up and the detail of it as you caressed his back. You nodded, which Levi sensed and acknowledged, but asked again. “I need to hear your answer love.” He was now looking at you and he held on your shoulders, waiting for a response and he would not let you go until you answered. “Yes Love” You said with certainty and looked back at him which he suddenly blushed with you how you responded. Levi did had a tough and strong personality from the outside, but when it came to moments like these he was really soft and usually shy but tonight he wanted to try his best for you, cause you meant the world to him.

He picked you up and you could feel his biceps around you which you held on as he gently laid you on top of the bed, with Levi being on top of you. He leaned in closer and gave you a kiss on your forehead. “Oi! I can be romantic…So why are you giving me that look?” He said with a smirk and that made you laugh. “Hmm...Prove it then.” You challenged him and that made his ego boost up. He proceeded to kiss all over your face which made you giggle as some of them tickled, and then he stopped and reached the edge of your lips which made both of you open your eyes and gazed into each other, both feeling the affection and attraction. “Shit...it drives me crazy when you look at me that way.” He went and kissed your lips, it was soft, slow and very passionate...you could feel all of his love in that kiss as you held on his biceps while his arms where between you for support.

“Where....else do you want me to kiss you?” He moved closer to you as he whispered near your ear, you felt his hot breathe which made you shiver. “A-Anywhere..” You were a blushing mess right now, but you weren't alone your boyfriend Levi’s face was redder than yours.

“O-Okay....Y/N I’m gonna make sure tonight you feel loved tonight, and I want you to focus right now how good you are and how wonderful you are.” As he said that, your face was burning up, ‘what made Levi say this all?’ you wondered.

He came closer to your neck, and was kissing it...you held on to him and hugged his chest, and he was doing it gently. This then left a small hickey on your neck and he was surprised as it was kind of dark.

“I will leave this mark on you so you can remember my love tonight, and know that you are always in my thoughts Y/N” He brought his hand and caressed your cheek which you held on, “And...when its gone, I’m here to give you another one.”

Perhaps, in the days you cry, there would be sad days, but today was a special day which was your birthday, and that not only gave you any tears but instead happy tears which was cause of Levi giving you the warmest/sweetest comfort and love throughout the whole day and especially the whole evening. You really did love Levi Ackerman.

well i hope you enjoyed this! I tried something new and I really see levi doing this for his s/o especially in days where he wants to make them feel loved and he really tries his best to comfort them <3 I hope you loved this anon and you get to see this and also if anyone else did please leave a like or a reblog! ♡

[fantastic-bby]

Pairing: Reader x Mark 

Word count: 1.2k

Genre: Comfort | Angst | Fluff | Married AU 

Summary: Mark holds you while you break down

Warnings: Depression

A/n: Hi lol. Uhh, kinda wrote this while I was feeling big sad. I’ve actually been feeling big sad lately, but writing this kinda helped (?) and I hope that maybe it can help anyone else who might need it. Everything’s been real big sad and w the fucking panorama pandemic shit going on right now, I hope that everyone’s coping okay bcs this shit is starting to break down my mental health lol oops. Sooooo, enjoy. Also, anon who requested this, I hope this was what you wanted <3 

Masterlist

Prompts: 

3. I don’t want to feel this way anymore  10. I would give up everything for the chance to see you laugh again

[19:03]

It could’ve easily been how your friends seem to exclude you out of things. Or maybe it’s the increasing load from work. Or it could be your husband having to spend more time working with how hectic things have become, but you don’t know why you’ve felt so down in the past month or so. So much so that even Mark has noticed despite how he’s spent a little less time at home than he usually would. However, when he is home, he watches you slug around your shared home silently. 

It worries him. 

Instead of pressing you about it, Mark just patiently waits until he finds the opportunity to talk to you when you’re not waddling around the apartment like a lifeless shell. But the opportunity comes to him when he least expects it. He hadn’t seen your natural glow in a while which worries him. You see, Mark isn’t the type of person who would actively reach out because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. He waits until you come to him because then he knows that you want him to be there. Other than that, he’ll patiently be on stand-by until he needs to act. 

That doesn’t mean that Mark’s heart doesn’t ache for you, though. While he patiently waits, all he can do is watch. He doesn’t want to approach you at a time where you would push him away because he already knows that you’ll do that, but it hurts for him to just watch and wait as you slowly break down. So, when he comes home from work after what seemed like a relatively normal day, he feels everything freeze when he sees you bundled up in one of his sweaters and sitting on your bed. The only problem is that you’re crying, a lot. 

“(Y/n)...?” Mark calls out gently as to not frighten you, but the sound of his voice makes you jump anyway. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Just the sight of him standing in the doorway, light from the hallway shining behind him and into the otherwise dark room just makes you feel more overwhelmed with your emotions. So, you start crying harder which makes Mark panic even more as he takes slow steps towards the bed, his hands outstretched in front of himself. “(Y/n), honey.” You open your mouth to speak, but the only thing that comes out are incoherent whimpers as you reach out for him. The moment he sees you reaching out as well, Mark’s immediately moved onto the bed and pulled you into his arms. “I’m here, baby, it’s okay.” 

Your hands meekly wrap around him as you bury your face into his baggy Balenciaga t-shirt. Mark’s hand gently runs up and down your back to try and calm you down, but it does little to soothe your jumbled up thoughts. There’s too much going on around you. Too many things going wrong. Too many things in your mind. Are you broken? Why can’t you feel happy when you have almost everything you need? You have a home to call yours, a stable job, your fluffy white dog baby, and your loving husband. You have everything, but why do you feel so… 

Empty?

It took a while, but you’ve finally calmed down. Mark rocks you back and forth gently, humming anything that comes to mind to try and get your mind moving at a more calming pace. Your grip around him has loosened only slightly, but Mark doesn’t let you go even for a second. He still holds onto you, calloused hands gently running up and down your back while his cheek rests on the top of your head. The room’s gone silent, but your husband still doesn’t talk. 

“Mark,” you softly say, making him hum in response almost too eagerly; as though he was waiting for you to say something—waiting until you were ready to say something. “I don’t want to feel this way anymore.” Your voice has become a whisper that Mark almost misses had he not been on guard for your every word. But the way your voice cracks only adds to his pain for you. 

“What’s wrong, my baby?” he asks softly as he pulls away. 

Your mouth opens, but nothing comes out. You don’t know what’s wrong. So, that’s what you tell him, “I… I don’t know.” Your grip around him becomes tighter when you can feel more tears prick your eyes. “I don’t know, Mark. I’ve just… felt so tired. I’m so tired, Mark. Of everything. I don’t know why.” 

“You need some rest, (Y/n),” Mark says gently as his hand moves to cradle the back of your head. He leans his head down and presses a kiss to the crown of your head, a simple gesture that he does to let you know that he’s there. “I haven’t seen you truly glow in a while. It pains me to see you like this, baby.”  He pulls away slightly, hands moving to cup your face and angle it so that his chocolate brown eyes are looking straight into yours, “I just want you to be okay.” 

“I-I’m sorry.” Your hands clenched into fists, his shirt bunching up in your hands as tears start streaming down your face once again. “I’m so sorry, Mark,” you hiccup. It hurts to see him in pain because of you. 

“It’s not your fault, my (Y/n).”  Mark starts pressing more kisses to the top of your head when you bury your face in the crook of his neck. “I promise you, it’s not your fault.” 

“Then why does it feel like it is?” Your voice cracks and it makes him squeeze his eyes shut. “Why does it feel like everything is my fault? Why am I even like this?” 

“You can’t control how you feel,” he says, his body starting to rock you back and forth once again. “It’s okay to feel this way.” 

“But I don’t want to feel like this.” Mark goes quiet. He honestly doesn’t know how to respond. He only knows that he needs to be there to help you, but he doesn’t know the right words. “You being here is enough,” you say when you can practically hear the cogs turning in his head. “Your presence is enough.” 

“I want to help you, (Y/n). I would give up everything for the chance to see you laugh again.” He pulls away to cup your face and look you in the eye once again, “you can always reach out to me whenever. I’m always here. I’ll be here to help you if you let me.” Mark leans down and presses a soft kiss to your forehead, your hands moving to hold his. His touch is so gentle as though you’re a porcelain doll that he might accidentally break if he’s too rough. 

“I love you,” you whisper. He presses another kiss to your skin, then another, and then another, until he’s just peppering your face with soft kisses. It’s enough to lighten your mood. “What are you doing?” you giggle. 

“I’m kissing you better,” Mark grins, happy that he’s managed to make you smile. “It seems to be working, so I’ll continue.” He presses another kiss to your nose and you respond by scrunching your face up. His thumbs brush away any stray tears, a small smile on his face as he presses his forehead against yours. “I love you, (Y/n). 

You’re my everything

[dumbdemonslayertexts]

random excerpts from black girl time travel kny au

Pairing: rengoku / oc

note: lots of angst mostly. forgive me for this not being y/n format i have to work up the chops to be graceful enough to write that

tagging @dudeandduchess and @adoriable and @tengens-bunny bc they sparked the greatest muse i’ve ever had to write fictions since i was like 14 literally wtf you are my queens???!?!

even with her mind working double overtime to secure her discomfort, the serenity if the rengoku estate could not be diminished. imene tried her hardest to remember any time prior to her time shift where she saw the moon so brilliantly illuminating the earth below it. each blade of grass, every stone in the garden reflected its glow; the whole of her surroundings were accented with such a pure silvery lining, giving a beauty distinctive to the night alone. it was tranquil enough for her to eventually draw a cleansing breath through her lungs, which finally released some of the staleness of doubt and second guessing that had filled her self image lately.

“you are awake still, imene-chan?”

that voice struck her in her chest, shooting sparks of heat and flutters in her stomach. and the fact that she was hearing it meant he was home. safe. and home.

“imene,” she softly insisted, making him smile as though he were being teased.

“imene.” his voice was warmer when he said her name, she would swear to it. and it stirred in her heart almost painfully with the need to hold him forever.

“i couldn’t sleep,” she shrugged off her dilemma, far more preoccupied in the happiness of seeing him, falling into those gorgeously untamed eyes and sweet smile again… “i’m happy to see you!”

“kyojuro.”

when the depth of his rich tone interjected his name, it caught her by surprise. and, true to form, he hadn’t needed her to say a word before reading her thoughts and emotions with complete accuracy.

“wh–?”

he lessened the distance between them, tucking his chin to sustain her eye contact where she sat, “imene… would you say it for me?”

the shadow of pessimism in her brain was shouting. he was easing the lines of formality as a kindness—-it was his vibrant character and nothing more. why was she so dense as to not even understand that? why did a simple name make her world feel brighter, and have her smiling to him, lovestruck?

“kyojuro.”

he smiled. with utter bliss, he smiled at her, exhaling like she’d lifted a weight from him. “ah… i prefer that, i think… don’t you?" 

just like that, the playfulness was back in his voice and eyes. though, another element felt as though it had been added unto it. one she was far too daunted to even hope to name. so she changed the subject. 

"how’re you feeling..?” she asked, lifting herself to stand, “you’re not hurt anywhere, are you? did you get any sleep or did you come right–”

she’d closed the remaining space between them as she fretted over him. ginger, worrying hands grazed butterfly touches up his chest, and the moment she’d made the mistake of tenderly cupping his face, his grin vanished… along with the delusion of pleasant standing she had dared hoped for with anyone there. it took so very little, but reality struck her like frozen lead. 

the subtlest way she could, imene lowered her touch away from him, even as she felt stony ice fill her stomach at his reaction. she could feel how he’d stiffened just before she took her hands away. so then, at that very second with how clear things had become, finality settled into her. still, she wished he would have just lunged his blade through her gut instead; the pain would have been so much less. 

“i–” kyojuro tried his best to play off the disgust, to turn the awkwardness in any other emotional direction. the poor thing even had the courtesy to look remorseful—-very convincingly, at that. god, how noble could one man be to still be kind and gentlemanly even now, trying to play off repulsion as he so obviously was? “no, i am not injured, i am feeling well! but i wished to return home as quickly as i could once i’d fulfilled my assignment. so, yes, i made the decision to return directly. i hope you haven’t been up out of worry for me.”

he was even back to beaming a smile by then, close-eyed and cheerful. she could only give half the heart in her attempt to smile back, barely nodding to acknowledge his answer. the bolt of dejection was still scalding in her chest, trying its best to well tears into her eyes.

“what is it?”

he asked after she’d broken eye contact with him for a time. imene had needed the privacy to blink down the urge to cry. 

“i’m …ready to go back to oyakata-sama’s estate. but i was kind of worried of how much trouble it would be to ask if he would take me in a second time… i didn’t know if it would be rude to him,” she tried to sound as casual as she possibly could, asking softly, like it were nothing more than a passing thought over an inevitable eventuality instead of a conscious decision of hers. but from the look on kyojuro’s face, she may as well has torn a hole through him.

“has something happened?”

he was so concerned. kyojuro sounded so hurt and concerned that the prickling of tears threatened her lashes again. even with his aversion to her, she could not stand to see someone so sweet and kind be hurt. “no…”

“please, imene, if you were upset by anything that happened while i was away–”

“i wasn’t, kyojuro,” she insisted, pleading.

“are you unhappy?” he asked. and it broke her heart to hear just how willing he was to remedy whatever issue she may have experienced just by the tone of his voice, especially after just returning from a mission, “you don’t have to hesitate to tell me if I have failed to host you well.”

“you haven’t failed anything. i’m not unhappy. but I can–” dread made the words catch in her throat, but it was too late for her to retract anything now, “feel that I’m making everyone uncomfortable." 

she waited for him to say something, but the flame hashira only looked at her in pained confusion, stunned and churning his brain to unravel her meaning.

"your father does not want me in your home, kyojuro. i’m a stranger to him—-in fact, I’m pretty sure he can sense that i don’t belong here,” she explained. he was faintly shaking his head, but even with the urge to protest, kyojuro could not deny that truth. “and senjuro–”

“he adores you,” kyojuro desperately interjected. her lips parted to negate it, but he continued before she could. and suddenly, there was a visible glimmering in his sunborn eyes, “he’s told me. many times, everyday we spend together. you…” his face softened from the accosted state she’d frozen it into earlier, and he paused his hurried explanations, “ease him. from our father. even though it is nowhere in your responsibility, you comfort him.”

“him liking me is just going to strain things between the two of them even more,” she shook her head, trying physically to mash the stress out of her temples, “that can’t be worth it, i don’t know how long I’ll even be in this time!”

“you would be surprised at its worth, imene." 

her conscience screamed at her to look at him, and she refused for as long as she could… just for knowing how gutting it would be to do. decency prevailed over her to finally grant him enough to at least meet his eyes, though. and the way his soul cried out to her through them left her destroyed. 

"i’m so sorry to have made you uncomfortable in my home. you needn’t worry about speaking with oyakata-sama, that is my responsibility, i will take care of it.”

he was resigned and sullen. It was almost impossible to tell with how genuinely he retained a positive outlook despite anything, but imene could see the sadness shining in his fiery stare, even with how radiant his grin was. she could also note how the sure grip of his sword had lessened to self-soothing strokes with his thumb at its hilt. “In the morning, I’ll make the arrangements for you. …I hope you believe me, imene, about senjuro. It’s been some time since he’s had …a loving woman around him. he isn’t likely to remember our mother well. what you’ve given with your presence is precious to him. priceless, I would say.”

he gave her an elegiac curve of his lips, and the water blurring her sight conquered her at last, dripping tears so heavy they fell straight to the ground, without a trace left on her cheeks.

“as for our father… he has been this way for a while. it is him. or, it’s what he has become, not a result of your being here. his callousness falls onto senjuro and myself normally, but I suppose you provided a new outlet for it …” he sighed, “it doesn’t excuse my negligence, but i will speak to him, you have my word.”

when she swept her eyes free of more accumulating tears, she felt kyojuro’s palms encircling her arms. it was a touch she had been desiring from the moment these feelings for him had begun to surface, yet when she felt it, she recoiled as if she were burned.

“imene,” he begged quietly. she still tried to keep her tone even.

“but you, kyojuro.”

confusion seeped into the misery soaking his expression, and his brow curled again to search for some hidden meaning in her words. his hands were away from her, though, the instant she showed discomfort.

“you’re the most uncomfortable around me of the three of you. you’re disgusted when i come close to touching you, you can’t even stand to be near me, in the same room, you’re always double checking to see if i’m up to something down every hall and in every room, and around your brother—-i can’t stay here and make you feel like that in your own home! especially when you’re out saving people and risking your life constantly! why would you even want me here if i make you so ill at ease—why would you want to come home to that kind of feeling after all you do!”

she hated how much heat she could feel under her skin–behind her eyes, in her cheeks and nose, at her ears. even more, she hated the pinched and congested whine her emotive state rendered her voice to, like some indignant child. it was humiliating to say aloud to him—-to verbalize just how awfully her self-regard had been eaten away, and to at last face it herself. now her cheeks and chin lay adorned with sheening wet streaks. she couldn’t hide any of it any longer. stillness followed after. not a word spoken, only the amplification of her breaths rattling and struggling to calm against rengoku’s measured silence. 

when she could bear to raise her head again, imene could see him in what looked to be a deep epiphany. a terrible one. like his actions had only know processed into awareness for him, and had left him reflecting in horror. 

“imene.”

he lifted his eyes enough for her to come into view, and his own lashes were starry now, blacker with the moisture accumulating at their base, in spite of the soft grin he wore, “i’m afraid i have to correct you. you said i haven’t failed in caring for you well. but i have done exactly that.

"would you come and sit with me,” he propositioned when she said no more. he’d expected nothing less when she could only look away from him with clenched, leaking eyes, so clearly pained that it ripped his heart to shreds. kyojuro was patient to await her answer, and held out his arm for her when she surprisingly accepted. imene had assumed that they would both share the space on the engawa she’d taken before his return. instead, he lead them to a more secluded area of the estate’s garden, on a stone bench that provided ample view of the night time, and allowed an unstifled breeze to cool them both that she greatly appreciated. 

“i must apologize.”

“you did already.”

kyojuro glanced over his shoulder, hearing her delicate assurance. it surged through him, littering his skin in goosebumps. 

out of consideration of how small their shared seat would be, he had crowded himself at the corner by her side. it allowed them both room for their legs, considering how widely his sat apart, but he could admit there there was a high element of shame that made it more difficult to face her. “yes, and it is not at all adequate for how i’ve hurt you.”

every time he spoke, sounding like he cared, she could do nothing but weep more. somehow, in spite of everything, his sympathy hurt more than anything else. and made her feel horrible for not being acceptable. “you can’t help how you feel, rengoku-s–”

“kyojuro." 

his eyes met hers with stone solid conviction that she couldn’t understand. for someone who disliked her so palpably, he was intent on establishing friendly casualness between them that gave her a migraine trying to comprehend. his next words went far enough to bring a knot to her brow. "you’re right, i can’t. but to have acted on those feelings so poorly is shameful." 

"acted on them poorly?”

“you were manifested in oyakata-sama’s estate. a refugee he deemed to have been brought here for divine reason. he is our leader in this fight we have undertaken against evil. he is the head of our organization, to be honored and respected.”

“it seemed that way,” her faint voice commented.

“yes. for that reason, and more i can’t explain now. understand, if my master says to me that you are precious, to be cared for, i wouldn’t ever dishonor that, nor you.”

now he’d given her her own shocking epiphany. it was slow to unravel itself with how meticulously he explained, frustratingly peeling away with the more he revealed to her in this less than receptive state that her mortification left her in.

“i wished to fulfill the role of your caretaker as best as i could. but as a hashira, i am frequently called away for extensive periods,” he gradually began to turn himself round, now diagonally beside her rather than perpendicular, “you are out of my direct sight for so long that i force you to tolerate my overcompensating once i return. i want you adjusted well, to not be overwhelmed or confused, or grieved with being alone. i wished to watch over you closely in case you were to need me.”

“oh…”

“and your nearness…” he began again, “imene, you were brought here under my protection. not only for me to oversee your healing wounds, but for your safe keeping all together. you are my charge. but i took this upon myself before knowing you—-i was not prepared for you to be so gentle and loving, and to possess warmth that i have not felt in so many years. you emanate affection–your spirit could even bring out playfulness in tokito-san. and your strength is one i have only seen in one other in my life." 

she wanted to cry again, now. and was well on her way, hearing this perfect man speak of her so glowingly. out of nowhere. 

"your peculiar beauty was something i was prepared to disregard. i am from a family of uncommon features; i willed myself to overlook the uniqueness of your eyes as many do mine, and to not be stricken with the comeliness of your hair, or with the beauty of your delicate complexion—-one i have never seen, and that i now will never forget. i convinced myself of it only being the allure of one sent from the heavens. i was mistaken, and then overcome." 

"you—-” her voice broke, weighted with the sobs fighting to bubble out of her chest, “i don’t understand…”

“you are the most beautiful woman i have ever set eyes on, imene. my dreams could not even create anyone nearly as bewitching. and i swore to ignore it, until you showed yourself equally as beautiful in your soul.”

▷▷ part 2

[mallowstep]

(Leopard AU with Reed AU) Reedpaw blinks when Featherpaw comes to him and apologizes, telling him that she's sorry that Mistyfoot picked her over Reedpaw when Leopardstar rescued them and took them to Thunderclan.

Reedpaw shakes his head, and nuzzles his sister. "Feather," he meows softly. "I was safe. You weren't. If I'd had to make the decision for us, I'd have picked you over myself too. You weren't safe here. Tigerstar and Shadowclan didn't know I was Mistyfoot's kit. To be honest, I think they thought I was one of Skyheart's."

Featherpaw blinks at him, eyes wide and she whimpers. "But Reed...he could have killed you..."

"But he didn't. I'm still here--we're both still here. He failed. We're going to be okay, Feather. Let's go try that hawk Greystripe caught you and Stormpaw. I'll go rip off it's feathers for your nest."

oooh i love this so much.

y'know of course she feels guilty. she didn't know if he was alive or dead or worse than dead. and he looks alive and whole but -- that's not the same as being okay.

they all feel guilty, don't they.

(The three of them sit by the river.

"Anyone want to bet on what our names will be?" Stormpaw asks, his tail flicking lazily.

Featherpaw snorts. "I've got loads of options. Hope she's creative about it."

Stormpaw flicks his ear. "Nah, she'll name you -- Featherheart, probably."

Featherpaw sighs. "I don't..." She shakes her head slightly. "Bet she names him Reedheart."

"I didn't do anything," he says. "Besides, we don't know what Leopardstar names cats like." He licks his paw, dragging it behind his ear. Mistyfoot would never let him forget it if he showed up to his own warrior ceremony ungroomed. "If it was Crookedstar, then it'd be easy. Stormfur, Featherpelt, and Reed..."

"Reedfoot," Stormpaw supplies. "No, he'd do Stormfur, Featherfoot, and Reedpelt."

Featherpaw snorts, and then giggles. Reedpaw purrs. It's nice to hear her laugh -- nice to just be around them again. "Well, I bet Firestar would name us..." She pauses. "I'm not sure, actually."

"He'd name you Featherheart," Stormpaw insists. "No question."

Reedpaw puts his head on his paws. He can't speculate on what Firestar would name them. Featherpaw catches his eye. "I'm glad we're all here, together," she says.

Reedpaw purrs.)

(He's still surprised that Leopardstar named Stormpaw Stormheart. But she had given him a tiny nod when she lifted her muzzle off his head, and Reedwhisker had decided to ask him about it as soon as their vigil ended.

"I feel okay," Feathertail whispers, flicking her tail impatiently.

Mistyfoot still looks worried, and she licks Feathertail's shoulder. "Sit between them, then, and if it gets colder--"

"She'll be fine," Stonefur calls. "Stop encouraging her to break vigil."

Feathertail's ears fold softly, and she sits next to Reedwhisker, beckoning Stormheart with her tail. They're supposed to sit at different places in camp, but even if Feathertail looks unimaginably better than when she left RiverClan, Reedwhisker knows she's still in recovery. He wraps his tail around her, watching the way the moonlight distorts on the river.

Reedwhisker thinks she falls asleep at some point, her head on his shoulder, but he doesn't wake her. She'll yell at him in the morning, but her breathing slows, and Stormheart licks her head, nodding at Reedwhisker. Best to let her sleep.

When the sun rises, Feathertail turns her face into his pelt, blinking blearily.

"Your vigil is over, you know," Stonefur says. "As soon as the sun hits the horizon. You better make sure Mistyfoot didn't assign you to any patrols."

He nudges them all gently, pushing them towards their den.

"Go get some sleep." He touches his nose to Feathertail's shoulder. "Proper sleep, that is."

"I was awake all night," she says, but her voice is still heavy from sleep, and Stonefur just purrs.)

and you know. i don't know. i think i just wanted to write siblings being together. whoops.

(They all have nightmares. It would feel like the set up to a joke, if they all have nightmares didn't mean Reedwhisker seeing blind panic in Mistyfoot's eyes, or Feathertail cowering in her own den, or Stormheart barely sleeping as he looks over the rest of them, making sure everyone is accounted for.

He's not really sure what his look like. He knows what they feel like, but he's pretty sure he's gotten good at shoving down his reactions. Waking Tawnypaw because he missed his mother would have gotten him killed. Now, he thinks he just doesn't want to disrupt anyone else's sleep.

Still, he finds Mistyfoot wrapping her tail around him, purring like he was a kit. He doesn't ask, but she still answers his question. "i'm your mother. Of course I know.")

hm. it appears i've swung to fluff bc i keep trying to do angst and i just. i don't know. appeal. i was writing the mistystar kills bramblestar during the "sexy slow" part of the playlist (it's called sexy because it's got songs like "take me to church" and "nfwmb" but specifically i was listening to "river" by bishop briggs), and now i'm in the "sad slow" part, but it's like. shrike by hozier. a song that makes me cry really easily but isn't that sad.

("I'm sorry," Reedwhisker says, dipping his head towards Feathertail. They haven't talked about it for a moon, but Leopardstar is kitting and Mistyfoot and Stonefur are with her and all he can think is, "If Tigerstar knew I was Mistyfoot's kit, he never would have treated you like that."

Feathertail scowls. "He would have just treated us both terribly, Reed. It wasn't like it was all that much better when Stonefur and Stormpaw were with us."

But they both know that's a lie.

"I'm still sorry," he says.)

there we go that's some proper angst. thank you "all of my goodness is gone with you now," which is The Line, of course, but -- it's such a good line. there are a lot of good lines, really. the whole song is good lines.

anyway.

(The kits leave Leopardstar's den. She watches them anxiously, and Stonefur sits next to her.

Feathertail looks excited to see them, crouching in front of them and purring. Mistyfoot is watching Mudfur's den. He won't leave it, Reedwhisker doesn't think, because he barely does. Shadepelt visits him daily, but Reedwhisker can't bring himself to ask his previous mentor why.

"Frogkit, no!" Leopardstar cries, bolting forward. She grabs him by his scruff. "You can get closer to the water when you're older."

Stonefur pads forward slowly, giving Leopardstar space, but staying close to her side.

"He wasn't that close," she says softly, as Frogkit rejoins his siblings. "That was -- unnecessary."

"They don't know how to swim yet," Stonefur says. "Keeping them away from the river is reasonable."

Leopardstar makes a sound between a cry and a whimper. Too late, Reedwhisker realizes how private a moment he's witnessing.

"Do you want to take them back in?" Stonefur asks.

"I--" Leopardstar pauses. "We only just left."

"And I'm sure they're already tired." Stonefur watches Leopardstar carefully. His posture is soft and open, and Leopardstar brushes her tail against his.

"Let's go back," she says.

"Alright.")

there we go now i just got through the Sad Sad part of my playlist. i don't know how long i've been writing. or how many words. i just. anon you really got to me. you made me feel and think and This is the end result of that.

hm. let's shoot for something fairly happy to end.

(Stormheart wades in the water. Feathertail is helping teach Leopardstar's kits to swim. "I'll teach you too," she said, giggling, but Stormheart turned her down.

Reedwhisker stands with him now.

"It's strange," he says, "because when I'm in the water, it feels familiar. But as soon as I--"

Stormheart huffs in frustration. "I don't know. I'm a RiverClan warrior. This is supposed to be easy."

"Well, it's not," Reedwhisker says. "So, it's not. That's all there is to it."

Stormheart flicks his tail in frustration.

"Okay," Reedwhisker continues, "what's stopping you, then?"

"I can't--" Stormheart takes a shaky breath. "I keep thinking about -- slipping. That's why Featherpaw got caught. Because I slipped and Greystripe had to save me. And then I found Stonefur and..." He shake his head. "I just can't."

"So you don't," Reedwhisker says. "You don't need to swim to fish. And you can still jump out of camp, it's been a dry newleaf. So you don't, and we try again when you can."

Stormheart sighs, and Reedwhisker presses his temple against his brother's.

"Frankly," Reedwhisker says, "I'm not terribly keen on the river either."

Different reasons, same result.)

well. that's the best you're getting for an ending. good night everyone, this anon made me feel a lot of things.

<3

[tteokggukk]

coffee rings → kth

✳ pairing: kim taehyung x deceased reader

✳ genre: angst, triggering themes, post-split au

✳ warnings: taehyung is grieving, major character death, mentions of a car accident and someone passing away

✳ summary: it’s been a year since you and taehyung went your separate ways, but today’s your birthday and he misses you more than ever. though he never really liked coffee, he drinks them now because it reminds him of you. to pass the time, he heads over to your favorite coffee shop at one in the morning. what he did not expect, however, was to see you walking in, smiling at him.

✳ words: 1.7k

✳ a/n: it’s sad but this idea just popped up in my head so i wanted to write about it because!! i miss writing HAHAHA pls enjoy (or don’t, bc it’s supposed to be sad so it’s okay not to enjoy it). 

It’s one in the morning and Taehyung couldn’t sleep. Ironically, he was supposed to be in bed trying to doze off but he now found himself sitting inside an empty 24-hour coffee shop—your favorite coffee shop, sipping on an Iced Americano he was forcing himself to drink. He never really liked coffee, but nowadays it brought him a feeling of comfort and nostalgia that he began relying on it to keep him sane.

It’s been a year since you two went your separate ways, yet here he was, staring at the entrance of the shop and hoping you’d walk in and talk to him.

You were always the type of person to leave the apartment at any given time of the night to grab a quick snack from this café. When you and Taehyung were living together, you’d often go out and buy pastries while Taehyung waited outside because he used to hate the smell of coffee. Though he never acquired a taste for it, he learned to love the scent because it reminded him so much of you.

Maybe, just maybe, you’d walk in right now at this time like you used to.

Even if he knew it was impossible for you to walk in right now, he waited. He held onto the small chance of seeing you once again. He wanted so badly to talk to you, to feel safe through your touch, and to find a peace of mind. You were his happy pill, the only person capable of making him feel better, and right now not having you around gave him the worst withdrawal from you. He hasn’t been the same since you separated.

All he wanted was to see you.

Imagine his surprise when the café’s entrance opened and you walked in.

Your eyes immediately met and all he could think of was how you looked exactly the same as the last time he saw you. You were just as beautiful and just as glowing. Your eyes looked so bright and alive even at one in the morning, and your lips, god, how he missed the feeling of your soft lips on his. His eyes scanned your whole body before he landed on your hands—the hands that always made him feel at ease.

He watched as you walked over to his table and sat in front of him, a warm smile on your face. He wanted to wrap himself around you right now, but he was too shocked to move from his seat.

“Can’t sleep?” You asked. Taehyung only shakes his head.

“Don’t you think it’s a bad idea to hang out in a coffee shop, then?” You laughed. His chest began to hurt at how much he missed your laugh. It was like hearing an old favorite song he hadn’t heard in so long because it brought back too much memories.

“I guess,” Taehyung had to choke out his words just to start talking, “But the place is oddly comforting.”

A small, sympathetic smile forms on your face. Taehyung looked… different. His eyes that were once enchanting and welcoming now looked tired and puffy, the brightness in them gone. His mouth, which always used to be upturned into a friendly smile were now straight and expressionless. He looked worn-out, but despite everything he still looked beautiful in your eyes.

“Since when did you start drinking Iced Americanos?” You asked.

“Since you left,” He admits.

“You don’t have to drink it if you don’t like it, Tae...”

“I do, because it reminds me of you.”

“Isn’t it best to start moving on?” You asked.

“If you were in my place, do you think you could move on that easily?” He asks, turning his hands into fists to prevent the tears from falling on his face. You watched as he held himself back.

“I’m sorry,” You apologized. There was a brief silence between you two before Taehyung continued. He turns his head down, immediately recognizing this habit of his that he always did before he started crying.

“I miss you, ___. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you,” The hurt was evident in his voice now. You didn’t say anything, you thought it best to let him clear his head.

“I don’t even like coffee, but you always smelled like coffee so now I’m used to drinking it just to remind myself of when you were with me,” He continued, “I wanted to live my life with you… I imagined my future with you…”

Tears began dripping on your face, but your expression remained calm. Taehyung’s breathing gradually turned heavy, it was long before his eyes turned red as his tears soaked his face. He wished you would wipe them dry, but he knew you couldn’t do that.

“It’s been a year, ___,” He sniffed, “It’s been a year since the car accident, and I thought I was beginning to forget you.”

“But earlier today, I was with your parents,” He continued, “I still keep in contact with them every month, just to see how they’re doing. They asked me to celebrate your birthday with them.”

“How are they?” You asked.

“They’re healthy and they’re doing fine, but I don’t think they’re feeling any better than I am,” He sobbed, “And I told them everything.”

“Told them what?”

“I told them about what my plans were with you, how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you…” Taehyung was sobbing uncontrollably now. The cashier stared at him in concern.

“I miss you, ___. I miss you so much, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over you. Sometimes I see you in the apartment, sitting on the couch. Other times I see you at the library you used to visit often, and you’re just there reading all your favorite books. Sometimes, you’re in the faces of strangers I see every day, always just a few inches away but I can never bring myself to get close. And I know you’re not really there, but I can’t stop picturing you everywhere.”

“Taehyung,” he watched as you leaned forward to place your hand on his, “You have to let me go.”

“How can I let you go when I still love you?” He wanted to grip your hand tight. He wanted to keep you here with him, but he couldn’t.

“And I’m always going to love you, but you need to accept that I’m not here anymore. I love you too much to see you suffering like this, you have to let me go,” you pleaded.

“___…”

“You can start by taking that out of your pocket,” Your eyes glide over the inner pocket of his jacket, and Taehyung’s breath hitches for a moment. You smile at him, letting him know that you’re aware of what he’s been carrying with him all this time. An item he’s always kept so close to his chest— to his heart.

He takes out the box, the box he’s been preparing for more than over a year now, the box that he waited for so long to kneel down on one knee with to present to you. Now all he could do was take it out without doing all those things and saying all those words he imagined he’d do when he proposed to you. His heart aches as he opens the box, the diamonds on the engagement ring shining right before him. There’s a weight that leaves his chest the moment he sets the ring on the table.

“Carrying that forever will only make it impossible to move on,” You told him.

You were right, he thought. Though it pained him to know he had to let you go for real now, he also couldn’t help but think of how this was what you wanted for him.

Memories of you and him together began playing in his head. The first time you met, all the ups and downs you two shared, him picking out an engagement ring and realizing the ring on the table in front of him was “the one”—to the night he got a call about your accident.

“I’ll never stop loving you, ___,” He whispered.

“I’ll always be watching over you. I want you to be happy, Taehyung, and if that means finding someone new, then it’s all right with me,” You smiled at him. His eyes were still full of tears, but he felt much calmer. Taehyung looks down and nods, wiping the tears off his face.

The ice in the Iced Americano has melted, diluting the drink. One of the café’s staff member approaches Taehyung and hands him water, courtesy of the cashier who noticed Taehyung crying. Taehyung thanks the staff and sips on the water before asking them to dispose of the iced Americano he could no longer drink.

“You never liked Iced Americanos anyway,” You breathed a laugh, and Taehyung just smiles.

“Namjoon will be here any minute,” You tell him, making Taehyung look back at you. How did you know?

“I just figured,” You grinned.

Sure enough, you were right. A few minutes later, Taehyung noticed Namjoon walking outside the café, trying to find where he was seated inside. When Taehyung meets his eyes, Namjoon starts making his way inside with a concerned look on his face.

“I’d better go,” You told Taehyung.

“What?” Taehyung’s eyes shifted from Namjoon to you.

“Take care, Taehyung. Please be healthy, and be happy,” you smiled at him one last time.

“Taehyung!” Namjoon called, catching Taehyung’s attention. When he looked back at where you were seated, you already disappeared. You were really gone.

“Who were you talking to?” Namjoon asks.

“I… no one,” Taehyung mutters, “How’d you know I was here?”

Namjoon gives him an understanding look, “It was her birthday.”

“Oh,” Taehyung nods and looks down.

“Come on, let’s get you home, alright?” Namjoon takes Taehyung’s arm and helps him up. He offers to drive Taehyung and already asked the others to come over to help him feel better. Taehyung just smiles, feeling thankful to have his friends with him.

Once they exit the café, Taehyung looks back one last time to see if you would be right there watching him leave. All he saw was an empty café.

“Goodbye, ___, and thank you,” He whispers.

He was going to be okay, he thought, everything was going to be okay. He might not be okay soon, but in time he’ll allow himself to heal. The previous heaviness he used to feel was no longer there and was replaced by a lighter feeling of relief and acceptance. Namjoon and Taehyung both drive away in silence, and Taehyung doesn’t look back once.

The engagement ring sits left behind on the café’s table, finally freeing Taehyung.

all rights reserved © tteokggukk. please do not repost. translations/modifications are not allowed.

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[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Until

Summary: You knew what this was and what this wasn’t, with Kim Taehyung, but your heart is breaking all the same.

A/n: A commission to extend this drabble from the 9k game from @queenoftheuniverseandmyroom​, I hope you like it!

Warnings: Some mentions of smut (mostly oral f. receiving bc this is Tae hello), big angst, Taehyung is not in a good place in this fic but he’s so sweet anyway you can’t help but love him, big mood reader, heartache, breakups, nonidol AU i guess

Word Count: 2055

You smile before you ever open your eyes, feeling Taehyung's fingers trail down your stomach.

"I love the way you look bathed in moonlight," he murmurs right against your ear.

"Did you even sleep?" You ask, a yawn making your jaw pop.

"I just got you back. Not gonna waste my time sleeping."

You feel his mouth on the base of your throat and it makes you shiver.

"I have a flight in a few hours," you say almost mournfully.

"Don't talk about it, not yet," he whispers, and your heart aches. "Don't even open your eyes, just let me love you for a while longer."

It's a struggle, keeping your eyes closed when you feel his hair brushing your lower abdomen, his hands spreading your thighs, but you manage. You'd walk through fire if he asked you to, surely he knows that.

It makes you wonder why he's never asked you to stay.

After he's spent the better part of an hour with his face buried in your cunt, kissing the insides of your thighs when you start to tremble and beg for a break before he goes back to your swollen clit, bringing you to orgasm three, four, five times, he sighs against you, shifts on the bed.

"Can I open my eyes now?" You ask, your voice hoarse from moaning.

"Uh uh," he grunts. "Not yet."

A smile spreads across your face. "Tae Tae. Why not?"

"It's still morning if you don't open your eyes," he says, as if that should be obvious, and you laugh softly, reaching out to try and touch him.

He takes your hands in his, kisses along your knuckles, on one hand and then the other, and for what seems like the hundredth time in the months you've been doing this, the question bubbles up in your throat.

"Taehyung." You still don't open your eyes. "What is this?"

"It's morning," he mumbles against your throat, rutting against you. You can feel him hard beneath his pajama bottoms but he doesn't slide them off and slide into you like you expect.

You sigh, lock your ankles around his waist, don't ask again.

You don't get much time together, you split your time between Daegu and Los Angeles due to your job as a journalist, an assignment you'd been working on that ended over to months ago. You kept flying in though, never told Taehyung the assignment was over, didn't want to let him go.

Your savings are drying up from the flights and your breath catches in your throat, you'd meant to tell him that this was the last time, but you keep your eyes squeezed shut, can't say anything.

His fingers dance across your jawline, tracing the shell of your ears and usually it'd make you laugh but not today. Today it makes tears threaten at the backs of your closed lids.

"Hey," he whispers, softly. "Open your eyes now, jagiya."

You refuse, don't want him to see your eyes filled with tears, and when he brushes his nose against yours a sob catches in your chest.

"Oh no," he sounds distressed, rubbing his thumbs over the tears streaming down your face. "No, no, Y/n, what's the matter?"

"I can't come back," you whisper.

You keep your eyes shut, feel him stiffen. "Your assignment is over?"

He doesn't move away from you, leans down instead to kiss the moisture from your face and when you finally open your eyes he's propped up on his elbow, watching your face, body still flush against yours.

You don't know what it is I'm you that makes you honest, makes words tumble from your lips.

"It's been over for a while. I just….I wanted...I couldn't stop seeing you.'

Taehyung goes silent, his eyes searching your face, and they seem to take up half his face, wide and dark and wet.

"Fuck," he says finally, and it's shaky and strained.

You open your mouth to speak but he just keeps.looking at you, tracing your features with his fingers and it sticks in your throat.

"You're so beautiful," he mumbles, low and liquid. "You're so sweet and beautiful, Y/n, and if I could just…"

He trails off, wipes at his face with the back of his hand.

When he rolls off you, losing his body heat makes you shiver but you ignore it, roll to the side. 

"If you could just what?"

Taehyung shakes his head and you're breathing hard and you don't know if you're angry or sad or both.

"I'm sorry," he chokes out, wiping at his face again. "I can't."

"I didn't ask you for anything, Taehyung, I just-" You huff out a breath and slide to the edge of the bed to get up.

"Wait. Don't go until you have to," Taehyung says, spanning his large hand across your lower back.

You twist your head to face him. "Why not?"

"Because I would, if I could," he says, looking away, voice almost a whisper.

"Would what?" You ask, exasperated.

He looks back up into your eyes, his dark and wet, his hand warm on your back.

"Love you." It's so quiet you barely catch it but it's a spear through your heart all the same.

“Is it a choice?” You ask, shifting to lie back on the bed, facing him. His hand instantly moves to your hip, trailing his fingers along your skin, leaving behind gooseflesh.

“If it was, I’d choose you,” he promises, and it’s all bullshit, it’s all words you’d heard before from other guys who didn’t want to commit but his eyes are so wide and earnest.

“So somebody hurt you and now you’ve sworn off all women?” You ask, your voice teasing, but he just nods solemnly.

“Not forever. Just...until.” He finishes abruptly, as if you should understand.

“So why did you approach me that night?” 

You’d been sitting at a hotel bar, sipping a martini and people watching, planning to stay up writing notes for your interview the next day, when he’d slipped beside you.

He’d been silent, ordering you another drink without saying a word to you.

“Hello?” You’d said, confused, a bit wary. 

Then he’d turned to you and given you this big, open smile. “I’m Taehyung,” he’d said simply, and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

Maybe he’s right, maybe it isn’t a choice because it damn sure feels like you didn’t have much of one, feels like your heart focused on him in that moment and didn’t let go.

Within hours you were laughing into his mouth in the elevator, giggles turning into moans when he pressed against you, pinning you against the railing.

Within weeks you were smiling down at your phone when he’d send you silly emojis in the middle of the day, and inside of a month you were sleeping at his place three nights a week.

The way he is now, tracing your skin with his fingers, murmuring into your ear, it reminds you of the first night you’d left, when you’d had a flight early the next morning.

It’s all washing over you now, how obvious you’d been, how obvious he’d been, how pathetic and desperate you felt now, your heart racing. You should’ve known what this was and what it wasn’t but your heart is breaking all the same.

“I shouldn’t have,” Taehyung admits, in that same shaking, low tone he’s had all night. “I shouldn’t have, you looked so bright and pretty and I thought….I thought maybe you could make me brighter, too.”

“Did I?” It feels like something is stuck in your throat, something vile and bitter. You want to hate him, want to spew out cruelty but you can’t, the way he’s touching you so softly, how big and wet his eyes are.

“You did,” he almost whispers, shifting closer to you. He takes your leg just behind the knee and wraps it around his hip, presses his forehead to yours. “You do.”

He’s trembling just slightly when you put your arms around him, your forearms resting on his broad back, fingers threading through his hair.

You hate the words as soon as they come out of your mouth, wish you could pull them back in. “I still could.”

He lets out a long breath through his nostrils, his hand trailing now from your hip to your knee, back and forth in the softest caress.

“Shouldn’t be your job, to make me better.” 

“Taehyung,” you plead, and you don’t say please but it’s a near thing, tears streaming down your face and they just won’t stop no matter how you fight them.

“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” he says, fiercely, as if he wants you to believe it, as if he’s trying to believe it himself. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

You move your hands from him to wipe your eyes and he makes this distressed hum in the back of his throat.

“You didn’t,” you lie, trying to smile. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” he insists, and you’re crying but you can’t stand the tears slipping down his face, somehow they cut you deeper than indifference ever could. “It’s not okay, and I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

You climb on top of him, take his face in your hands. “I’m not sorry. I’ll never be sorry that I met you, Kim Taehyung.”

His arms go around you slowly but then he crushes you to him, a sob catching in his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he keeps babbling and you kiss along his jawline, the side of his face, anywhere you can reach.

It’s too much, this feeling, how your heart swells and contracts with every word he says, every touch on your skin. You want to take his pain by osmosis, want to be a salve for every crack in his heart, but you know it isn’t something anyone can do, know he wouldn’t want you to have to.

When he’s sniffling instead of openly sobbing and you’re stroking his hair back from his face, kissing along the bridge of his nose, he finally speaks again.

“When it is...when it’s....”

“Until?” You ask, smiling, heart fluttering even if it’s bittersweet.

He nods, eyes so big and dark you feel like you could drown in them. “Yeah, until. When it is, if it is, can I call you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course you can, Tae.” You thumb tears from his cheekbones, lean down to kiss him, softly, and your phone starts dinging for your alarm to head to the airport.

Taehyung pulls you close, squeezes you tight once, twice. “Okay,” he says shakily. 

“Okay,” you agree, sniffling a bit as you get dressed, and the way he watches you with wide eyes makes you want to give it all up, makes you want to stay until he tells you he’s ready, but instead you pause at the door with your bag around your shoulder.

When you look back at him, he’s still lying there, still watching you with big tears tracking down his face. It’s like something tearing inside you, when you go, when you close the door behind you, but you keep telling yourself it’s for the best, that it’s what you both need.

You don’t forget. It isn’t as simple as that, but in time you feel better, don’t keep waiting for the phone to ding with a text from him, and you manage not to call him or text him when you’ve had too much wine at dinner.

Days go by, and then weeks, and then months, and after a while it’s this bittersweet memory, something that tugs just gently at your heartstrings when you think about him.

You’re not even thinking about him when your phone rings, an unknown number so you answer it without thinking.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sunshine,” he says easily, and the way his voice spears something through your heart, like a fish on a hook, makes you freeze. “I’m in Los Angeles. I was wondering if I could see you?”

“Taehyung,” you breathe, and you’re not even sure what you’re going to say until you say it. “Is it-”

“Until?” He laughs, loud and open, and you’re not sure you’ve ever heard him laugh like that. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it is.”

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[bfkunimi]

♡ helloo, so i said i was feeling better but i got sad again and ended up writing a long chapter lol hope you guys are liking this series, it’s been ironically comforting for me to write this so please love it a lot!

pairings: Kuroo x Tsukishima, Tsukishima x Yamaguchi, Kuroo x Kenma

genre: angst, hanahaki disease au, pain

warnings: will make you cry, made me cry lol, hospital setting, cheating, thoughts of suicide

notes: hanahaki disease: a fictional disease born from unrequited love, where the patient’s throat will throw and cough up petals and flowers. but this isn’t a typical hanahaki au, in this story.. the main character (in this case it’s kuroo) finds out that his partner (aka tsukki) doesn’t love him anymore  because he started developing the disease.

if you want to be added to the taglist just send me an ask! ♡

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒. 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, & 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭

kenma was right when he said he’ll be with me always. he hasn’t left my side ever since i was brought here, and it’s already been two weeks.

luckily he brought all his chargers for his phone and game consoles, so at least he wont be bored. but im sure he’s sick of this.

who knows how long i’ll be here in the hospital, im honestly not getting any better. everyday it gets harder to breathe, every time i cough it feels like my throats being ripped off my neck, and there’s always this heavy feeling in my chest. almost like there’s a gaping hole in it.

there’s still no sign from kei. but i know when kenma thinks im asleep, he calls him to give him updates everyday. most of the time kei doesn’t answer, but kenma still always leaves him a voicemail.

that thought. it still hasn’t left my mind.

as more days pass, the more i want to do it. it’s so tempting, the thought’s so addicting. maybe this is my cure.

the sweet relief of death.

these past two weeks, i’ve been thinking of how i’ll do it. it’s kind of impossible because kenma never leaves my side, he doesn’t sleep much but when he does it’s a small window. i have an idea bu-

“tetsu..” 

me and kenma look up at the same time, seeing kei at the door.

“kenma, can me and kuroo talk privately?” 

“mhm” kenma looks at me sincerely, squeezes my hand, and mouths “i’ll be back” while smiling at me. i smile back at him and he then steps outside.

kei looks so good. i fucking missed him so much. i'm glad he’s finally here.

but as sits where kenma was, the first thing i see is a ring on his finger. 

my heart stopped. god can this get any worse?

he catches me staring at it. he meets my eyes and says, “that’s actually why i came today.”

“kei.. don’t.. please.” i'm begging him to not say it.

he takes my hand, sighs, looks into my eyes and says...

“im here to say my final goodbye to you.. me and tadashi got engaged recently and i think it wouldn’t be fair to you to keep you hanging or lead you into thinking we still have a chance to be together again. this is why i havent been visiting or contacting you.”

im starting to feel that hole in my chest again.

“i know i’m a dick for doing all this, but i know you’re already suffering enough and i don’t want to make you feel any worse. that’s why i asked kenma to take care of you for me, i know you two share a special bond since you were kids and that kenma would do anything for you. so i thought it was perfect. he’s been giving me updates on you everyday but later im gonna ask him to stop. me and tadashi decided to move back to miyagi and start our life together there. im sorry for saying this tetsu but this will be the last time you’ll see me.”

it’s getting emptier.. and emptier..

 “i want to start fresh with tadashi and being here in tokyo, won’t help any of us. even you. i want you to be healthy and recover from this, so please forget about me. find someone new or just focus on yourself and your goals, but don’t hold on to me. it will only make you worse. but thank you for everything for these past five years. thank you for loving me wholeheartedly and for always being there for me. i’ll never forget our time together. just please take care for me okay? do everything you can to overcome this hanahaki disease, recover and live happily, it’s the one thing i ask of you.”

it feels like he’s stabbing me.

he pulls me in for a hug, and i grab onto him tight not wanting to let go.

but i love the pain.. i love him. fuck I can't live without him..

“i love you kei, please.. don’t go..”

he pulls away from the hug and looks at me for the last time.

“goodbye tetsu, im sorry.”

he leaves and tries to find kenma.

blood, tears and petals scatter the bed, as i cough and bawl my eyes out.

- kenma’s pov -

(bolded italicized is kenma’s internal responses to tsukki)

“can you just leave and live your life the way you want?” god im so fucking pissed, how could do that to kuroo?

“leave kuroo alone. and don’t bother coming back to his life because you’re the sole reason why he’s suffering right now. if you care about him even a little bit, don't lead him on, don’t give him hope, just cut him off.” he’s probably devastated right now, ah i gotta check on him. 

“it’s what's best for him.” right after i deal this shithead.

he grabs my hand and says, “okay i will, but please do me a favor.” 

“take care of him for me? don’t ever let him go.” i will never be like you

“never. i would never make that mistake.” bc unlike you i love him so much

he finally left.

ugh kuroo doesn’t deserve that jerk, he threw him away when he needed him the most. i cant leave him alone, i need to stay by his side. but...

he’s gone. as i walk back into his room, all i see is an empty bed, nothing but blood, tears, and petals.

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

I fucking NEED to write a Homestuck reincarnation AU with the ancestors. So I'll do it.

Tbh it'll be mostly our favorites hemoanarchist (gods do I love this word) ; The Signless, the Dolorosa, the Psiioniic and the Disciple. Because I love them, that's why. (let's say the Psiioniic died with the others bc if he's not dead he can't be reborn. He was still the helsman but for a shorter time)

So at first I was thinking "they could be reincarnated as Karkat, Sollux, Nepeta and Kanaya" but then I realized that there would be no Karkat, Nepeta, etc... And I love them. So nope nope nope. So I decided that they would be reborn six or seven sweeps before the beta trolls, with the same sign, same blood color and pre-scratch names. They're raised by the same lusus as their descendants. Now there's three ways to do it. 1) everyone remembers. 2) nobody remembers but they have feelings and dreams. 3) only one of them remember. The 3 would be interesting and sad ! Lots of angst. But as much as I love angst, I couldn't write it to save my life. I'm just overwhelmed by the "I want them to be happy". The 2 would be very interesting to write ! Slow burn and pining and also angst bc "why the fuck am I dreaming about my wrists burning ???". Also "I feel I loved you for so long but we literally just met ???". Nice. But sadly, I'll write the 1 ! Because I want to.

So. They're hatched like seven sweeps before their descendants. At first, they live their life quietly. Since Alternia is... Well, a whole planet, they never met when they were young (that would be too easy. They'll meet way later). They think they are alone :( cue angst. But their life isn't so bad. Kinda. Signless (and holy shit he has a lusus ! With his blood color ! He misses his mother but he's happy to have a lusus : he never had one before so) learns to shout loudly with Crabdad (lol) and doesn't go out much (bc you know mutant) but when he does everyone he mets is baffled bc he's super nice ?? He's like those people who smile at you on the streets and even if you know you'll never see him again you fell a little pale something. Half of his neighborhood got a little pale crush on him (he's totally oblivious because guess what ! He's still in love with Psii and Disciple). He studies psychology and other alien civilisations online bc he thinks it's interesting. That's all. He gives advices to people (he got a blog. He's pretty famous for his advice ! Both because he's wise and because his advices is always pacifist). He thinks he's in a other universe (again !) and then he discovers the story of the Signless (by sheer luck, since the story has been erased everywhere by the Condesce) and he's just baffled because wow, he's thousands of sweeps in the future ! Wow ! And also because "does that means that the Condesce is the same fucking Condesce that killed me/us ? WHEN WILL SHE DIE". The Psiioniic lives with his bipolar lusus (nothing new, he' s bipolar himself) and is the best hacker of all Alternia (come ON, of course he is !). Every goldblood knows him, there's a rumor (that nobody takes seriously) that he's the reincarnation of the Psiioniic ! (every time Psii hears this rumors he laughs so hard he cries. It's just so... So funny) he uses his skills for hacking more or less everything, subtly attacking the Condesce (nothing major he knows he can't win), fucking with highbloods (and if he specifically targets those cerulean that act like pirates, those indigo with bows, those violets orphaners, that's nobody's business) and search for the others three, because despite thinking he is alone, there's still a spark of hope (honestly, if we're being realist, he probably would have found them in one or two sweeps since he's really good. But that would be too easy ! So no). The Dolorosa is not in the caverns (and is thankful for that, because after a lifetime outside, she isn't ready to go back to this claustrophobic darkness where she would search and never find a hint of candy red). She does clothes. She's very good ans even does clothes for highbloods. She's both respected and feared. There are rumors about her, rumors of white light and stains of cobalt and violet blood on her lipstick. But those are only rumors, right ? It's strange for her to be this young, but it's also good. The Disciple lives in the forest, with her lusus. She's the best huntress ! Tbh she's a bit of a cryptid. People talking about the beast in the woods. Most olive bloods knows it's her ; she's not the first olive to live in the woods after all. She tries to find the remaining signlessists (is that how it's written ?) to 1) check if what they teach is really what Signless taught, because she knows how cults can be and 2) if they still have the right idea, maybe join them. Maybe not. She's not exactly a signlessist, after all.

Let's say it's a no game AU because I don't want them to die. Also, to be clear, I ship Psii/Signless/Disciple as in Psii/Signless + Disciple/Signless. I don't really ship Psii/Disciple, I see them as... Very good chaotic friends with blackflirting, could be pale or black or red but have this sort of "ewww" reaction about dating each other so no.

When they're seven sweeps, their lusus brings home a wiggler that looks exactly like them (everyone reacts differently : Disciple squeals because Nepeta is so cute ! Psiioniic look at Sollux like... What ? Is ? This ? Another Captor disaster ? In this house ? We're doomed. Dolorosa is surprised but well. She already raised a child, and this time her lusus will help. Signless is shocked. Really. He stays silent for hours and maybe cries a little. After a while they all figure out that they're their descendants - that leads to a "wait but if this is my descendant... Am I biologically my own descendant ??" confusion but eh). They're all very fucking surprised but well.

Nepeta grows up with her big Sister Meulin and their shared lusus. She never really understood that having a big sister was weird until she met Equius. After all, three of her friends also had siblings ! She loves her big sister ; Meulin is clever and nice and pretty and strong and she wants to be like her when she grows up ! But sometimes her big sister looks at the red blood of the beasts they kill with sad eyes, sometimes she draws a symbol Nepeta doesn't knows, she never kills bees, she has a lot of respect for the jades, and she hates being alone. Her sister hates loneliness more than anything. Sometimes, even with sopor her sister wakes up crying about people she doesn't knows. But her sister is the best of all. And when she tells Nepeta stories of love and equality, Nepeta listens, and understands.

Sollux grows up with his annoying big brother Mituna. They have this sibling rivalry (some trolls think it's blackflirting - ewww). His brother is the best hacker of Alternia and Sollux thinks he's very cool (even if he will never admit it). Sometimes his brother shakes his hands and legs for hours mumbling strange things (still moving still moving still alive not trapped not a helsman she's not here I'm not here) and touches the back of his neck, as if he expected something to be here. Some days his brother flinches just seeing pink. He spends days searching people online - Sollux thinks it's kinda stupid ; nobody has blood that red. His brother wears a necklace with a symbol that isn't his. He has three sharpies with three colors - Sollux expected yellow and blue and red but those are bright red and olive and jade. Sometimes he draws on his hands with those sharpies - always the same symbols. Sometimes he wakes up screaming and he talks in his sleep - about ships, about pink, about blue arrows and bright red blood and someone that was everything. Sollux doesn't really understands. His brother is sad half of the time, but it's okay, because Sollux isn't better. But he wouldn't have it any other way (he sure would like to do without the voices and the bipolarity and his brother's depression but we can't have everything)

Kanaya thinks her big sister Porrim is very wise. Maybe a bit too much for her age. Sometimes her sister seems very old. Porrim is beautiful ; the prettiest troll Kanaya has ever seen really, but there's a old sadness deep in her bones that's always here. Her big sister always hated the ocean. Most trolls feared it (because of the seadwellers) but her big sister hated it. She had an odd look on her face every time she saw a spider and never wore anything with blue or violet or pink. Her sister had a sad smile when she helped her to do her red skirt. Her sister is wonderful. Almost more like a mother to Kanaya than their actual mother. When Kanaya was little, she told Porrim so. Porrim laughed very hard and maybe cried a little, and Kanaya doesn't remember her answer (I have only one child, little sister, and it isn't you).

Karkat thinks his big brother Kankri was someone else, before he was his big brother. He sees many things on him that shouldn't be here. He sees his big brother rubbing his wrists sometimes, and flinches every time Karkat grabs them (Karkat does it because of that ; he wants his brother to know that he doesn't have to be afraid). His brother can't cook meat, because the scent of burned meat makes him gag and cry and rub his wrists harder. His brother never does anything to the little beehive on their house - he says he likes bees. His brother loves meowbeasts, like Karkat's olive friend. His brother believes in rainbow drinkers - it's strange. Rainbow drinkers doesn't exist after all ! When he was very little, Karkat thought that Kankri was a coward - he never fought anyone and was always talking about peace and equality and love ! Lame. But then when he was four sweeps he told his brother that he wanted to be a threshecutioner and Kankri suddenly looked very afraid. He explained him things ; about their blood, about the empress, about the culling, about equality. After that, Karkat decided that Kankri was cool in a very strange manner, and that peace and equality andd love wasn't that bad after all. Karkat thinks that his brother is one of those heroes we never talk about, and nobody remembers them because they did heroics things without hurting anyone or killing monsters. He thinks that being like his big brother would be nice. He knows he has anger problems, he tries to deal with it (it helps that he isn't the only one, with Sollux being bipolar and Nepeta being autistic). His brother helps him with his quadrant confusion, when he says he has a pale crush on Kanaya but he also has a crush on Nepeta and Sollux but it's like on all quadrants ! (yup I ship them all) his brothers laughs and tells him about his own history with his lovers and how they were everything to him without really being in a quadrant. It... Slightly help (Karkat still thinks his crushes are unrequited. Fool).

Those four little trolls grows up with their lusus and someone else, and it changes little things. Nepeta begins to write books of romance and adventure and she tells stories to those who wants to hear them. Sollux knows he can count on his friends and his brother ; he doesn't have to bear everything alone. Kanaya knows that if she doesn't wants to go to the caverns, her big sister will help her. She doesn't have to be an adult before really being one. Karkat is a pacifist and thinks his shouting skills are actually very useful to scold people (he isn't wrong). He wants to deal with conflicts without violence or blood spilled (especially not his !!!). He's working on his anger. It's hard, but he isn't alone. He told his closest friends about his blood color : Sollux Nepeta and Kanaya (he wanted to tell Gamzee as well but Gamzee can't keep a secret).

Honestly the reunion between the ancestors would be very emotional of course. Like at this point Karkat and Kanaya would totally be moirails and Sollux, Karkat and Nepeta would be dating (after a long chat about the quadrant thing they decided to say fuck the quadrant system). So they would like meet in person and their big brothers/sisters would go with them but like... Just to make sure they're alright you know (alternia is dangerous after all :/). And HERE'S the emotional reunion I guess. I won't write it, I don't know how to. But you see.

My main idea was a Reincarnation AU, then it became "Karkat, Sollux, Nepeta and Kanaya growing up with their ancestors but not as their ancestors and noticing strange things about their siblings". Hope you like it, because I sure do !

[adamarks]

For the ask game, uh... the entirety of boys will be bugs? 😂

Hello anon!! What a depressing fic to ask for dvd commentary on jgrhrhshshsj

Read the non-annotated version of this fic here on ao3!

It’s two in the morning and I’m crying over a toaster.

This fic was literally just me being fuckin sad. Like it’s just me being an angsty bitch. Comments that I’ve gotten calling it in character baffle me bc I’m like bitch this is very poorly disguised. I wouldn’t call this baby my magnum opus.

Not as in the toaster made me cry. As in I’m crying and watching tear drops hit the toaster as I wait for my bread toast.

Lol mood.

I try not to cry as much anymore.

PSA everyone: crying is a good thing. Dont restrict urselves.

Doesn’t really work. Now I just cry when I’m alone so I don’t have to bug them.

Lol get it? Bug.

I say “them.”

Woof.

Baz has pretty much given up on talking to me anymore. All I get are sad looks that make me feel like garbage.

Such drama.

Are we even still dating? I don’t fucking know. Probably not.

😬😬😬😬😬😬

I choke down a sob.

Someday I’ll write a songfic thats not excruciatingly depressing. Someday.

I mean, it’s my fault, isn’t it? I pushed him away. And I wasn’t good enough.

Jesus Christ what kind of sad shot was I on when I wrote this.

I hug my arms tight. Keep myself together.

I’m falling apart.

Who am I kidding? I’m already in pieces.

Bro wtf. I haven’t read this in forever. Wtf was I up to. Y am I so sad.

The toast pops up and a tear lands on one slice.

Oh god soggy toast. The real horror in this fic.

I take it out and start piling pats of butter onto a piece. I keep piling until I can’t see any bread from under all the butter. I lift my shoulder and wipe a cheek before I smoosh the other piece on top.

Ive done this exact paragraph verbatim. Write what u know.

Butter sandwich.

These are actually delicious. The butter stays half cold. Yum.

Tadah.

Tadah~

I sit on the floor and rub my sleeve across my nose. I take a bite.

When u be having those days bad enough to live in snot sleeves

The bread is warm. The butter is starting to melt. It’s cold in the middle. I’d be in heaven if I weren’t having a mental breakdown.

They’re DELICIOUS. Also this paragraph is the biggest ADHD mood I’ve ever written.

I slowly scoot so I can lie down while I eat. I stare at the ceiling as tears drip into my ears.

That shit is always so annoying. It like tickles.

I feel like shit. I feel like shit. I feel like shit.

I am shit.

Simon ):

I sob and almost choke on a hunk of sandwich. Eating and crying is dangerous.

Facts only

Something flickers in my periphery and I turn my head to look at the little light above the sink. A moth keeps flitting around the bulb.

A FRIEND

My wings are shoved uncomfortably behind my back. Fucking things. I shift them a bit.

Me and my like 2 canon compliant fics. I just love aus so bad.

Guess Mr. Moth up there can’t lie on his back either. Nor was he born with wings.

I hate this line. Don’t ask me why

He probably doesn’t resent his. Made his life easier.

This line annoys me but it’s ok

Well, now he wastes his time trying to jab himself into the light. So maybe it’s not that much easier.

This fic is what happens when you listen to a song about bugs and teenage angst one too many times. I’m not a teenager I don’t have teenage angst anymore. Wtf

My tears have stopped flowing, but my cheeks are still wet. I keep watching the moth.

Hhhh

My throat is sore. My eyes feel tired.

Ya

I name the moth Humphrey.

Wow what a fuckin great name. My and Simon’s brains..... so powerful......

It’s three a.m. when I go back to bed.

I really like my penchant for writing one shots with utterly unsatisfying endings. Life rarely has satisfying wrap ups my dude.

[kinktae]

The penultimate part🥺 I’m not ready to say goodbye, Bitchin!Jungkook has definitely been one of my fav characterizations of him that I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for sharing your work with all of us💖

bitchin 9 asks bc i suck

sapphireprinces5 said: bitchin’ pt9 was just so beautiful?? the way you explained the emotions and interactions between the characters was just amazing!! I felt myself hanging on every word wow excited for the end but will miss bitchin’ so much 🤧

Anonymous said: TAEHYUNG AND YARA SIGN ME UP GURL!!!!

Anonymous said: Like I just feel like if Jk really liked y/n he wouldn’t have slept with Kiri, you know? It shouldn’t matter that he didn’t know how y/n felt. And it’s obvious that he has feelings for y/n so I just hope that’s something y/n addresses when she talks to him. Don’t settle for less girl! Get you a man who will fight for you regardless 👏 (btw this is not me criticizing how you wrote it in any way! I’m just so invested in the characters and am thinking about how I would feel in this scenario :) )

Anonymous said: I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GONNA HAPPEN WITH YARA AND TAE I FELT IT SO DEEP IN MY BONES IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM 😭😭😭

Anonymous said: Hi! I just binge read bitchin in a day and can I just say that I loved it! I really love the female characters as well, you’ve written them so beautifully 🥺 if I was y/n I wouldn’t be concerned so much about Jk not sleeping with Kiri if he knew the way y/n felt, but rather the fact that if Jk didn’t want to sleep with Kiri, he wouldn’t have, regardless of y/n’s feelings or not. IMO y/n’s feelings shouldn’t be the issue here, but Jk’s should! If I was y/n’s bff that’s what I would tell her LOL

Anonymous said: OH MY GOODNESS! YES !!!! YESSSSS Y.E.S Muchas graciaaaas!!!

Anonymous said: tae and yara are my new ship)

unknowntalesx said: okay but like tae and yara thooO they got me all smiley being like oh yeah bayyybeEE das what im talking about 😏 ALSO OKAY NOW THAT I AM MORE LUCID KIRI GOT FUCKING WRECKED I LOVED THAT SHE GOT A DOSE OF HER OWN MANIPULATIVE MEDICINE I AM 😤😤😤😤😤

Anonymous said: im not ready for bitchin to end )):

Anonymous said: I SCREAMED WHEN Y/N TOLD KIRI THE TRUTH. YES QUEEN. STAB AND TWIST THE KNIFE!

Anonymous said: ROSE AHHSHSJSKSD FUCK U I’m all hot and bothered with anticipation for pt 10 now 😩😩😩🥵

sydney--chan said: We really stan y/n for using her big ol brain to rock kiris world oh my god I yelled also I say what's your damage all the time bring that shit back

Anonymous said: a tae x yara spin off series or one shot...... haha jk..... unless..... 👀

Anonymous said: Fuck kiri's scheming ass. I'm glad YN ripped her a new one

Anonymous said: AAHHHHHH once again, I love this chapter so much!!!! I was screaming at Yara and Tae part. Seriously!!!! I am SURE she felt that spark when he kissed her. Is she going to be the one falling for the guy while he wants something casual now? Or maybe Tae will fall for her as well? Ahhhh so cute! I feel like that would be a nice spin off yk (no pressure, I swear). And Erik, woah I didn't expect him to be like that. To be so nice and wise. Great character development indeed! It was really nice (1/2)

Anonymous said: To see their interaction and the way he opened her eyes (for some reason I couldn't help but picture him as Namjoon). Ohhh the Kiri part tho!!!! I felt really petty but in the best way lol. Anywaysss I am really excited for the last chapter (really sad too) and I am sure it is going to be the best because you are a genius! Thank you for sharing another amazing chapter with us! ♥♥♥ (2/2)

Anonymous said: OKAY I absolutely adored Bitchin part 9 😻 I always thought that it was also OC fault for what happened between her and jk, he obviously was the main jerk but she never actually admitted her feelings to him and he doesn't read minds so??¿¿? Really loved that she came to understand it. And I was rooting SO MUCH for yara and tae MAN I AM CRYING THEY DESERVE IT 🙌🏻

Anonymous said: you came through with the tae x yara content we all needed omg thank you!! if anyone’s gonna make yara fall in love it’s tae lol

Anonymous said: I honestly lowkey hate bitchin’ jungkook right now. I thought I’d get over it but I just can’t imagine how hurt and disgusted Y/N was when she found out that jk and kiri were together just hours before they were like ugh. It doesn’t help that I’m also really interested in Erik’s character development now so it would’ve been really interesting to see how he’d fit in Y/N’s life. 🥺

Anonymous said: jungkook and y/n wANT what yara and tae have

Anonymous said: TAEYARA YES FINALLY OUR WISHES HAVE BEEN ANSWERED 😍😍

Anonymous said: just want to let you know you’re an absolute angel and all you create is nothing short of perfection. *sends you all of the love*

spring2787 said: I jus came from a 4 hour long class and it's finally here... Thank you so much dear 🎂 💜

Anonymous said: Is yara me ? Like when she said that boy act like they understand the no string involved but then fall in love , dude I felt that , that's literally the story of my life lmaoooo Like the number of time a dude told me yeah I'm okay with that and then acted shocked when I told him I didn't feel anything for him is impressive lmaoo Anyway I'm so eager for the last chapter!!!! you did an amazing job!!

kuhweenbri said: The way I already finished but anyways girl I absolutely loved this part and now I’m excited for the next part 😭😭 will we be seeing more of T-ara??

Anonymous said: OMG YARA AND TAEEEEEEEEE. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT BY FANSERVICE. JSJSJSJJSBXBSBSB But on a serious note, this fic just keeps on getting better. The fact that there's only one chapter left still hasn't come home to me 😭 but thank you so much for blessing us with this!💜💜

Anonymous said: YO! bitchin is flippin brilliant! you have done so well! jungkook broke my heart in part 9! im emotional but also so ready for part 10! please take your time. have a lovely day

Anonymous said: i don’t normally talk to writers on here but bitchin is really bitchin, i haven’t read a fanfic in so long that makes me excited to read the next part and maybe it’s because i’m so used to all of the aus being recycled but bitchin is truly a breathe of fresh air to me for some reason, maybe because you fleshed out the right hand mans for both characters idk or the it being a different time period, but i just wanted to say you are smashing bitchin dude and i love it!!

shy-kpop-girl said: BITCHIN': I just caught up on 8 & 9. Shocked & angry at JK. Because regardless of whether he knew y/n' feelings it was a dick move to sleep with Kiri one night and y/n the next morning. And it wasn't like he came over to talk/tell y/n about Kiri & things escalated because he went right at it as soon as she let him in. Even tho it was hot. 😳 But Erik. I wanted to hate him but dude surprised me with his reasoning. I loved that dialogue! Once again your writing is amazing & I love this story!

Anonymous said: Bitchin is the best fanfic on tumblr. And no one can change my mind. You’re doing amazing!! Much love xoxo

Anonymous said: “Think of life as one big puzzle and everyone you meet is shaped differently, right? Yet somehow… they fit. We find those that complete us. And they’re not necessarily opposites but—“ MAAM that part hit SOOO different omg your brain!?! Outta this world! Like this is whole ass literature!!!! I stg Bitchin’ is the best thing on this app and I meant that w my whole chest.

Anonymous said: I'm not ready for Bitchin to end. It's soooooo good 😍😍😍

kmultifandom said: Since there's a cast for bitchin I wanna audition for y/n because i wanna be a biologist and I have some similar personality traits *mic drop* Also great work, I seriously love it. No other fan fiction I have read was so close to my actual self and that impresses me even more and make it like it 10 times more djksksks

Anonymous said: how will I live when bitchin ends agghhh I haven’t even read 8-9 cause I’m waiting for the happy ending before I’m heartbroken and left waiting for the last part

Anonymous said: you know what would be super fun and crazy 😛😛🙈🙈 if you dropped bitchin’ pt 10 right now 😳😳 haha just kidding .... unless 😏😏

Anonymous said: lets gooooo!!!!!!!!!!! bitchin pt 10 better haunt me for the rest of the year

Anonymous said: I feel like I’m going to get so emotional once Bitchin’ part 10 is released. It’s like I’m sending off my non-existing kids to university because I won’t be able to see Bitchin!Jungkook anymore 🥺

Anonymous said: I can’t believe Bitchin’ is for real ending 😩 it’s soo gud 

Anonymous said: Can’t wait till bitchin PART 10 Probably gonna fall asleep before u post but I’ll try to stay up for it 🥺

Anonymous said: i love your writing honestly and i just really want you to be happy. your writing is immaculate and i really want you to know that you are talented and skilled so yeah. sorry if this is out of nowhere but i just really want to show appreciation to writers because they don't get enough and you are definitely my favorite writer:)) hope you have a good day!!

Anonymous said: okay but if Bitchin' goes on for 50 chapters that would be good too.. just sayin'.

tpo-quinn said: Bruh, I can already feel that I'm gonna cry from the last chapter of bitchin'...I CAN'T WAIT!

leojjeon said: so i've re-read bitchin ready for chapter 10 an I am feeling all sorts of emotions. it's fair to say it's my favourite series I've read!

Anonymous said: y did i forget bitchin would have an end like 😳😐we’ve been on this bitchin journey w u for so long i’m sad it’s over

Anonymous said: What what what?? Bitchin is ending??!!! Didnt it just fucking start like all the drama and tae&yara!!!! Omg girl!!!

Anonymous said: ur the absolute fucking GODDESS of writing angst, ive never ever waited for a ff to be updated before as if it was a new episode of my fav show coming out. thank u for writing and be so active, muah ur amazing

Anonymous said: a moment of silence for our loved bitchin who will die soon 😔 gone but not forgotten, she will always be in our hearts. all the best rides come to an end 😭

[writingfortoomanyfandoms]

Summer Games Inspired Blurbs

So I’m a little emotionally drained and I really wanna do this bc I feel like it’s a cool idea so I’m doing it now but I can’t promise when I’m going to get these blurbs up they’ll likely just be posted as normal blurbs are but whatever. This is also 100% a way for me to distract myself from Halloween as a thing going on atm and to try and prevent people requesting Halloween blurbs

Basically I’ve been binging the Smosh Summer (and Winter) Games series and I decided that I wanted to do blurbs inspired by them

I’m saying right now just to make it clear though - while this is inspired by Smosh and written with those people that I write for in mind, these prompts and AUs still are open for any of the normal people I write for as well. I mean I want to write for Ben Hardy facing the Apocalypse bc let’s be real, that’s a pretty sick AU, right??

Anyway, there are four AUs that I’ll be writing, each inspired by one of the Smosh Summer Games series

Smosh Summer Games Camp - Camp Counsilor!AU (one that I already write for and love but no one ever requests 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Smosh Summer Games Wild West - Wild West!AU (never done this before but I’m psyched)

Smosh Summer Games We Blew It - Circus!AU (someone originally replied to my post questioning what I should do for this one and they said carnival which reminded me of circus which is an AU I ADORE and have never written for on this account but man I’m excited for this one)

Smosh Summer Games Apocalypse- Apocalypse!AU (GUYS THIS IS THE SICKEST AU OKAY LIKE YES PLEASE SEND SOME IN FOR THIS, SURVIVING THE ZOMBIE APOCALYSE?!?! YES PLEASE)

Smosh Winter Games - it’s not an AU but a lovely, lovely nonny suggested writing blurbs where they’re snowed into the Winter Games cabin and I’m 100% here for that idea so we’re subbing that in now :)

If you guys can think of an AU inspired by either OG Summer Games then lmk and I’ll add it to this list and those requests will be welcome as well

Anyway! Here are the prompts for these blurb requests though as always, they’re just here for inspiration, you don’t have to use them if you don’t want to 😊

Also some of the prompts are taken from shows I like/books I like and some are also from the Smosh videos so bear in mind but most are just cute fluffy ones I like so… enjoy!! Please also send in some Shaymien x reader blurbs for me to write!!!

Angst:

“Did you think I would run into your arms?”

“Mistakes are easily made. Apologies aren’t”

“It’s not working out. We’re not working out.”

“I’m… I’m leaving… for good. I’ll… see you around…”

“Why are you doing this?”

“How do you expect me to trust you after this?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I should have known you were too good to be true”

“I don’t want to hear another excuse”

“You were meant to protect me from the monsters not become one of them”

“Don’t try and tell me that I faked anything about our relationship”

“I could punch you right now”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Is that blood?” “No?”

“Do you even love me anymore?”

“Stop trying to fix me!”

“I hate that I still love you”

“Just because you don’t love me doesn’t mean no one can”

“No one should be as reliant on another person as I am on you”

“You can’t just run away from your problems”

Fluff:

“I was born to fall in love with you again.”

“Please hold me. It’s been a day.”

“My hand’s made to fit in yours”

“I couldn’t imagine my future without you now that I have you.”

“Sometimes I get scared about how much I love you”

“I’ll keep you warm”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you you’re safe with me”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like”

“I can’t imagine this world without you”

“Dance with me”

“I’m home”

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Don’t be scared - I’m right here”

“You’re so adorable”

“Go with me?” “Only if I can hold your hand”

“Have you seen my hoodie?” “Nooo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

“Are you flirting with me?” “You’re only noticing now?”

“I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.”

“I’m never letting you go again”

“With your love I’m a better person”

Miscelaneous:

“There’s four things you can be in life: sober, tipsy, drunk and hungover. Tipsy is the only one that you’re not crying”

“Can you please get him to adress his fascination with sulphuric acid?”

“We’re very Hufflepuff here, are you sure you wouldn’t be more comfortable in Slytherin?”

“What’s the best way to make friends?” “Tell a woman you love her and her saying ‘I think we’re better off as friends’”

“Do you trust me?”

“Wow, that is a ridiculously big watermelon. I love it.”

“See - sometimes being a huge nerd comes in handy”

“Sometimes I wonder which of us you’re actually dating”

*takes shirt off* “am I smuggling dynamite in my pants?”

“What’s that on your shorts?” “Oh - it’s called excitement”

“We’ve been over this man - we’ll leave it on the course but I WILL fuck your whole family up and I’m not even joking”

“Full disclosure I could just be an arsehole”

“Who cares about what they think?”

“I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”

"I’m not pretty and I don’t have any bullets”

“You’re not really going to eat all those sweets are you?”

“Just when I was thinking you couldn’t get any less romantic”

“The ladies love a man who’s good with kids”

“Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me”

Sad:

“All I wanted was a happy ending”

“I didn’t get soaked wet through walking to your house for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

“I feel like I died alongside her/him”

“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is”

“Never tell anyone anything because the moment you do you start missing everyone”

“Who hurt you?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you”

“Why are you crying?”

“I don’t deserve love - especially not yours”

“Sometimes I wonder what’s more inbalanced - the chemicals in my head or the distribution of our chores”

“Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”

“Have I mentioned how much I hate Halloween?”

“Wake up! Please wake up!”

“Why are you awake?”

“Stop saying you’re okay when you’re clearly not”

“Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”

“If you don’t hug me right now I might just fall apart”

“You can’t keep this all inside”

“What if one day I wake up and you don’t?”

“I can love you enough for the both of us”

Hella cliche situation prompts

Dying and confessing their love

Stealing their shirt

Kissing in the rain

There’s only OnE bEd

Secret relationship

Everyone keeps telling me to stay away from you bc you’re dangerous

Overhearing they have feelings for you

Taking care of the other when they’re injured/ill

I’m too stubborn to admit I’m scared but you know and take my hand

EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS YOUR GONNA DATE SO JUST FUCK ALREADY

[burnedbyshoto]

anon: The artist @franeridart answers all of their asks in one mass post with a read more link so maybe you could try that as well. That way you could answer everyones ask but not spam anyones dash with all of your replys

you genius anon, and you genius artist! I just feel like as of late I have been getting a lot more things in my askbox, and I dont want to overwhelm anyone with spam. so, I will be creating these! unless it’s for y’all thirsty hoes asking for extra parts or whatever from very recent posts, expect this to happen every so often! the rest will be below cut. also first time using photoshop? how’d I do yall??? and also like.... let me know if you like this idea??? if not i’ll just resort to spam :)

@your-parental-figure : IK BUT DETECTIVE GUY CONSIDERED BOTH TOKOYAMI AND KIRI TO BE ALL MIGJTS SUCCESSOR DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MENT??? THAT MOMENT WATERED MY CROPS, CLEARED MY SKIN AND SOLVED WORLD HUNGER

oh season four episode one, you may have been a filler, but you made me so happy to watch. honestly ngl, I was pretty surprised when he said kiri, not because he has no potential, but because it seemed like the top 4 from the sports festival, bUT FUCK YEAH KIRI AND TOKOYAMI!!!!! IN A DIFFERENT WORLD IT COULDVE BEEN THEM!!!!!

anon: Makeup smut for villain Deku should be good. 100% tender, no chicken

honestly, my favorite thing at this point is seeing you all crumble in fear if i’ll even give you a happy ending, and tbh idk if it will be for villain!deku >:)

@ohmycolie: So it’s Saturday night and I’m just sitting at home 🤦🏼‍♀️ could you maybe do a scenario where Bakubaby and Kiri decide to bring Kami into their sexcapades and after their little adventure Kiri is like “can we keep him?” 🤤💕

hi bby, while I can imagine something of this sort I am only a “x reader” blog :( so while its good thirst, I won’t be writing anything about it, sorry :( ily tho!

@michealsheep: Honestly is shiggy ended me after an intense nut like that I’d just thank him

honestly, I want shiggy just to end me??? whatta way to go. death by fucking nut.

bigdickkiri: I don’t get ship wars. Why do people wanna be so mean? It’s so easy to not be a part of any a that.if everyone appropriately tagged their posts, blacklisted rags they don’t like and didn’t act bitchy then they wouldn’t be an issue. - bigdickkiri

neither do I honestly. they’re just people looking for drama at this point, and it’s like... come on... you’re 25... stop

bigdickkiri: What a fantastic evening to tell my favourite writers that I adore them and that they're amazing! Look after yourself and have a gorgeous day! ❤️💙❤️💙 - bigdickkiri

I’m literally the worst. but um, I adore you so much, and I think you’re amazing!!!!! its 2am rn, but I can’t sleep anyways

🍒💥anon: Girl, your blog is having a glo up!!! I love it!! So pretty 👌 How are you doing today? Are you taking care of yourself? *sending good vibes and virtual hugs your way* -🍒💥

teehee, thank you for noticing!!!!!! i’m not 100% happy with it rn, but I haven’t had the time to get it perfect!!! wait a few more weeks and when I have actual down time, im fixing it >:) also, I am doing well, a lot of caretaking today! I never take care of myseld! *accepts the good vibes and virtual hugs because I am touch starved*

anon: I'm part of the protect uraraka squad!!! ♡

me too boo! you wanna fight me on my mochi loving girl meet me on the corner of my fists and in your faCE!!!!! (is this considered cyberbullying?)

anon: WTF @ THAT ANGST I M SAD NOW

this was in regard to my fic “because of you” which I posted because I was in a crying mood. HAHAHAHAHA YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAD I WINNNNNNNN

@joyfullydawn: I just wanted to say you're heccin' amazing??? The fact you named that roommate one "And they were roommates" I just--yes. This is more than ok. This is excellent. Please keep being awesome aaaa

and they were roommates was the first series I had, and the thing I did in celebration for 100 followers.... jesus that feels so long ago and not in fact less than two months ago!!!!!!!!!!! maybe I should reblog my old works so you newer lovely followers can read them!!!!!

anon: would u ever do a part 2 to under the mistletoe with aizawa? its so sad and i just want them to be HAPPY

I am planning on doing it!!!!! it’s in my requests, so no worriesssss ;)

hermana anon: hermana that todo angst 🥺🥺you’re literally the best angst writer jdjdbd

okay but for real do I write actually good angst??? asking for a friend..... and HGAIGHJIAORGHUOG THAKN YOU FOR THAT COMPLIMENT!!!! PLEASE RECOMMEND ME ANGST FICS BECAUSE I LOVE CRYINGGGG

🍒✨ anon: this has literally nothing to do with anything that’s on your account right now but do you think that dabi sends shoto happy birthday messages? i like to think he does because even if he’s a villain, he still lowkey care about his siblings - 🍒✨

this was from a very long ass time ago, and im sorry I never responded to you sparkle cherry anon, but I definitely do believe that he sends birthday cards. with his baby bro’s increase in his fangirl club, he now is unafraid to send shouto a card. its always the only one that catches shouto’s attention when he goes through them because they’re weirdly personal. shouto, being a smart yet dense idiot, believes its someone in the class pranking him.

~ I won’t be posting these messages, but they were from awhile ago when I was hitting a rough patch with my insecurity as a writer and my ability to give my all to you. there are many of you, 19 messages in total, where you told me why you loved my writing. I never responded to them because they make me cry even now looking back at them. to each and every anon, I thank you for saying those kind words. to @saladsharkz, @thecryingsombra, @olivenight17, @shutupwylow, @expressyourstarstruckrebel, and @awkward-theaterkid thank you as well. there is another non anon, but they asked not to be revealed. thank you so sososo much.

~ I will not be posting these as well, because again, drama from awhile ago. but this was in regard to the anon who did not like the kinklist I had created for kinktober. while now I think I am doing a pretty damn good job, and no one has said otherwise, to the 2 anons, @connors-my-boy, and bigdickkiri, thank you for fighting an anon that was never your responsibility to take <3

@w0w-s0-3dgy: u make me uwu so much🥺❤️ I LOVE YOUR PAGE BABE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL!

BBY I LOVE YOU AND I AM DOING WELL NOW!!!!! THANK YOU FOR LOVING MY PAGE LITERALLY WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT YOU?!?!??!!

anon: You followed me and idk if it was just to be nice or if you want to be friends or what hdhakanskenebdhsiq

im starting to follow back people that make me happy. it’s been awhile since ive been on a followspree, but I follow you back when i see kind messages from you, when I see that you’ve liked so many of my horrible posts, when you reblog my things with the most amazing tags. I follow you because I want to be your friend, you’re always welcomed to be my friend!!! hell you can literally be like “bitch listen to this” and never once having spoken to me I will respond with “give me the fucking chisme my queen”

anon: *gives u an encouraging and comforting yeehaw*

now.... now I can conquer the world, thank you

anon: Hi! I love the way you're writing things for kinktober, and I'd personally love if you could reblog what you're writing multiple times because I'm at uni most of the day so I miss out on a lot. Pd. I absolutely adore your writing! Please keep up ❤

I AM TRYING TO REBLOG MY STORIES NOW BUT OMGNGSOUHFIPA YOU LIKE HOW I WRITE?!?!?!??!?!?!

heathers anon: Its the anon who sent the Dabi heather au. I send it because i know your popular and a lot of popular blogs check your blogs. And I honestly struggle with other blogs because they ignored most of my asks.

teehee, I appreciate you thinking im a popular blog and that other popular blogs check mine, but thats not true!!! sorry for never responding back, but i’m sure they’re not meaning to ignore you on purpose. there’s just so much happening things get buried!

@sinnaminsvga : we're both alyssa so it's really interesting to see the nicknames u use bc i see you use lyssa and i got the nickname ari and i think that's pretty neat how we both have the same name but wildly different nicknames

it don’t matter, we be alyssa twinsies!!!!!!!!!!

anon: I was just going through your master list, cause I’m in a stunning mood and why not make a good mood better? and I saw bakugous “sickness and that word I can’t spell” got hella happy for a sec CAUSE YES THAT WAS SO ADORABLE AND I LOVED IT. Then I remembered the heart shattering angst that came with Todos side. So like. Ily but you a meanie.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA WE LOVE SUFFERING!!!!!! I just... really have a thing for angst it seems... don’t tell my followers though, im in denial over it...